littlesmolhoneybee

[space-writes]

hello (again) writeblr! i decided to make a new intro that has all my current wips on it, since i have way more than when i first started out on here.

about me

I go by Space, my pronouns are they/he, and I’m in my third decade of existence, which is absolutely wild. I’ve been writing for most of it, so I like to think I’m pretty decent

I write mostly fantasy and erotica (sometimes at the same time), both original and fanfiction, and all of it's queer

You can find my work on my AO3 here, crossposted to my neocities here, and under my snippets tag

I’m open to tag and ask games, and my inbox is currently open to anything as well. I don’t always reply the fastest, but I’ll get to it eventually! (I don’t take part in chain asks, so please don’t send me them)

I use obsidian.md for all my writing, and it’s my favourite notes app ever, so I also talk about that occasionally. The tag for it is here, and I’m hoping to write some more showcases/tutorials this year!

my main goal is to actually finish some damn books and also to inflict my OC brainrot upon people. so far the second one is the only thing that’s actually happened, but i live in hope

My current wips are Chronicles of Valloroth (Renegade Prince being book one), Obedience, Obsession, and claws—summaries and links for all four are under the cut!

this is my writing sideblog, you can find my main @thespacelizard, and i follow/like from there

tag directory is here

current wips

Chronicles of Valloroth

⚔ Genre: Fantasy Adventure

⚔ Features: Queer cast, found family, A Whole Entire Dragon, magical mishaps, The Mere Concept of Doing The Right Thing, a grumpy assassin, a sparkly mercenary, knock-off tieflings, a handsome prince (he’s gay), more banter than your average dungeons and dragons campaign

⚔ Status: Book One: First draft completed, re-drafting in-progress || Books Two & Three: outlined

⚔ One Sentence Summary (Book One): A runaway prince seeks freedom in a new world and must find a way to convince a rag-tag group to defeat an ancient dragon, all whilst he is being hunted by a band of mercenaries and an infamous assassin.

⚔ Series Tag: valloroth blogging

claws

🩸 Genre: Queer Horror

🩸 Features: teacher/student relationship (university edition), toxic romance, gender fuckery, broken identity, demonology, murder, self-harm, obsession, stalking, infidelity, a lot of blood, pact-based magic system, corruption, jealousy, eldritch entities, love is a wound, body horror, attempted suicide, and a little bit of arachnophilia

🩸 Status: First draft complete!

🩸 One Sentence Summary: A young student’s obsession with his demonology teacher sparks a twisted romance that draws him to the limits of his humanity—and into the web of an eldritch horror.

🩸 Series Tag: wip: claws

Obedience

💜 Genre: Erotic Romance, D&D fanfiction (original characters, Forgotten Realms setting & loose 5E ruleset)

💜 Features: a variety of BDSM scenarios, one closed off wizard dom, one enthusiastic nerdy sub, weird uses for dnd spells, a painful amount of pining, somehow; worldbuilding, emotional slow burn, as much self indulgence as I can possibly fit in a fanfic series

💜 Status: Arcs 1-3 are complete (read on AO3 here, or my neocities here). The first book of Arc 4, The Perils of Wanting is currently being posted bi-monthly here. The second book of Arc 4, A Question of Trust, is on its second draft.

💜 One Sentence Summary: A D/s M/M series featuring two wizard boys, the kinky magic they get up to, and the feelings they definitely don’t have for each other.

💜 Series Tag: obedience fic blogging (it began on my main, so the tag there has more snippets)

Obsession

🕷 Genre: War of the Spider Queen/Forgotten Realms fanfiction, also Erotica, Horror and a smidge of Dark Romance

🕷 Features: OC/canon, a nightmare transmasc wizard boy, obsession, stalking, jealousy, violent impulses, dubious consent, possessiveness, evil gender dysphoria, incest, gore, the inherent horror of Having a Body, and occasionally actual school things happening at Sorcere

🕷 Status: Ongoing serial, which you can read on AO3 here, or my neocities here

🕷 One Sentence Summary: Pharaun Mizzrym is everything to Vizaeth Thaezyr. He’ll do anything for him—even if Pharaun doesn’t know it yet.

🕷 Series Tag: obsession fic blogging (it also began on my main, so check the tag there for additional content!)

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: leftistgnf

today's interviewee (after far too long letting this sit in my drafts) is leftistgnf/marg, also known for running the gnflegalteam blog! they were kind enough to answer my laundry list of questions, and i'm excited to finally share them with you all!

Q: What do you remember about the mcytblr awards?

A: omg i hope this isn’t a disappointing way to start but i actually remember very little about these. were these the ones angie markets did? i just remember attempts to make mcytblr-wide events like this usually got complained about because the fandom was too big lol.

Q: What was the gnflegalteam blog?

A: probably the most poorly-aging part of my digital footprint 😭sometime in late 2021 i started doing a bit on my blog where i’d roleplay as a lawyer defending george from the gay allegations. on april fools day 2022 i made a sideblog with this fake press release about how we lost our case and needed help with the appeal and people started sending asks and it became a whole little side project. it was honestly pretty fun! people who already didn’t really fuck with me called it parasocial, but so was everything we were all doing all the time. unfortunately it is gone forever now…. after the story about george sexually assaulting caiti became public i made a final post telling him to kill himself and someone reported it and tumblr deleted the sideblog LMAO. it was a pretty fitting way for it to go out.

Q: What was the "drama stream" that you and Hari streamed?

A: HAHAHA okay this was like, summer 2022 i think? i had made this channel with the gnflegalteam username just to talk in sol’s twitch chat, with no intention of ever streaming, but hari and i began kicking around the idea of doing a “””drama stream””” where we’d mostly talk about cc drama. i’m not sure how to best describe this but: we, and our friends, tended to disagree with the dtblr majority on a lot of controversies. and dtblr could be really vicious when you had differing opinions! even on inconsequential stuff like lore takes! so people already saw me and hari as being toxic and controversial, just because we held those differing opinions, and i guess i felt like i didn’t have anything to lose by talking about it all at once.

admittedly we clickbaited it a lot and probably flew too close to the sun and hari made a very uhhh.. inflammatory advertisement for it. but looking back i don’t think we actually talked about anything THAT crazy. like i said, most of the “drama” was related to creators or the dsmp and not other tumblr users. there was a group of blogs who specifically planned a stream at the same time as ours and made posts about choosing positivity or something, which blew what we were doing way out of proportion and created its own unnecessary drama. but the stream itself, after all the angry anons we got leading up to it, was a lot of fun. it attracted a lot more attention than i ever expected. i infamously got connoreatspants to react to a raid from a channel called “gnflegalteam,” which was probably one of my favorite moments of my whole mcytblr experience.

Q: What was it like to be in 404blr?

A: 404blr, especially in the earlier days, was nice because there were so few of us who actually considered themselves “”george mains.”” george never streamed and was barely even active on social media so a lot of the community bonding happened over content droughts. i remember a lot of thinkpieces on the trajectory of his career and these floods of desperate “i miss george” posts. also, i know you didn’t ask about 404cord but i want to mention it briefly because basically everyone on 404blr ended up joining in the first couple of days. before all the drama it was really just 404blr people, plus a couple dream stans who also really liked george. it used to be very fun and normal!

imo most of the conflict surrounding 404blr happened when we fought with other subblrs. there was definitely a clash between dream/dnf mains and george mains, because they would really mischaracterize and over-sexualize george in ways that felt weird to us. in the context of shipping, george was always portrayed as this blushing virginal twinkish nymphomaniac. in general a lot of self-proclaimed dnf/dream team mains were really just dream mains who liked george as the other half of a ship and didn’t really care about him as a person. honestly, we were always just on a soapbox trying to convince people that george was a fun interesting good streamer.

it’s complicated to look back on because obviously i think george is really fucking gross now, which colors all my memories of being a fan of his. i don’t know that i still agree with my past self about him being particularly good at streaming either. but i met a lot of friends through 404blr and generally think about that specific community fondly

Q: Why was Hari in people's blocklists?

A: hmm i won’t say too much about this just because it’s not my exposé to give. but like early 2021, when i had just joined mcytblr, there was this discord server that hari was in, and they had a conflict that escalated to the point of some members putting her and “her supporters” in their dnis. it was really bizarre because they talked about her like she was a problematic content creator and not a friend they fought with. i was mutuals with a couple of the people who were mad at her and they were vagueposting like she killed their entire family. iirc everyone involved was very young at the time, which i think explains a lot of how that went down.

Q: Do you think there was an overlap between inniters and 404blr?

A: yes thanks to me! JUST KIDDING. i personally was a big clingy duo fan so i followed a lot of inniters and ended up being friends with a lot of inniters, but most of them didn’t really gaf about george. a lot of inniters (sbi fandom in general) didn’t like dream and really didn’t like rpf so we were a little star-crossed… i can’t speak for innitblr as a whole but there were definitely jokes among my mutuals about a couple of us being token george mains or token dnfers. because george (at the time) was kind of controversy-free and also interacted a lot with the uk dsmp creators, i think it was easier for them to let 404blr into their hearts than like, dreamblr or dtblr.

on the other side, a lot of dtblr people hated inniters because they were critical of dream, or because they had such different opinions on lore. i was constantly getting anons asking me why i was friends with certain blogs who had made fun of dream before. so i guess idk if crossover is the right word because it was more like, three or four dnfers who really liked tommy and shamefully showed up at the doorstep of innitblr asking not to be softblocked. thank you spider enclosure for extending that grace to me.

Q: What was it like on the inniter side of Tumblr?

A: my personal experience with innitblr was great! obviously a lot of them felt apathetic or negative towards george or the dream team but that was never really an issue for me i guess -- all my mutuals’ criticisms were pretty fair, even back when i disagreed with them. i remember the community itself being really funny and a lot less volatile than dtblr or even 404blr. they were also way more invested in lore, which was another draw for me because i was always a huge lorehead. tbh i probably posted as much about clingy duo as i did about the dream team so i was basically a part time inniter anyways. that being said, innitblr skewed a little younger than dtblr so i was never as involved in the community. but i always loved interacting with them and i’m still friends with a lot of my (ex-)innitblr mutuals. most of spider enclosure (for example) are still on tumblr and just post about like doctor who and shit.

Q: What were some positive things you remember from that time?

A: like i’ve mentioned: i made a lot of really really great friends who i still talk to often, even a year and a half out from leaving the fandom, which is easily the most positive outcome for me. i could write a million words on how grateful i am for those relationships. it’s kind of sweet to think about how these random blogs i befriended during a crazy minecrafter hyfx are now people i’ve hung out with in real life, or who send me instagram reels, or who i watch timothee chalamet movies with. mcytblr also had some of the most talented artists and writers i’ve ever met! i also think the culture of liveblogging was a LOT of fun, especially during like big lore streams or mcc. an all time favorite memory was liveblogging tommy’s love or host because i saw tommy fans, george fans, and variety fans on my dash all begging for it to end lmao.

Q: Conversely, what are some negative ones?

A: a lot of people were like… really really not nice. and i’ll be honest, most of the not nice people were on dtblr. it’s kind of insane thinking back on the stuff that was said to and about me and my mutuals. this is another thing i don’t want to get too into because a lot of the stories aren’t mine to share but in addition to run-of-the-mill suicide baiting i got a lot of lesbophobia in my ask box, and my friends got anti-semitic and islamophobic and racist and transphobic hate anons. i’ve been on tumblr for like 10 years and it was my first fandom experience that was that vitriolic. it was also really easy to get swept up in that kind of toxic culture -- i’m certain i said some things i wouldn’t be proud of now, especially in defense of dream or whatever.

after october 2022 when dtblr self-rebranded as “dtblr 2.0,” there was a lot of gossip and hate posted about those of us who had left. i don’t like admitting this but it really fucked me up for a while! and ruined a lot of my ability to look back on the fandom fondly! it sucks knowing that people who have never once spoken to you have decided to hate you.

anyways, i’ve done a lot of self-reflection on my own relationship with fandoms and online discourse and public figures and i think i’m better for it, so i guess i hope the people who harrassed us have done that too.

Q: Were there any major fandom/creator events that you remember?

A: broadly speaking, mcc will always have a special place in my heart because it was such a community-wide event. like yes it was about the creators but there was so much activity in the fandom surrounding it (posts, art, analysis, etc etc) that it felt really major for us too.

i don’t remember details about this but i know there were mcytblr elections at some point in like 2021 maybe? i just remember i endorsed the 404blr ticket. maybe you’ve already archived posts about this. i don’t think it really went anywhere, but the campaigns were fun! and it was the first “community” event in the mcytblr fandom that i remember being around for.

ALSO i’m a little nervous to talk about this one in case it’s still controversial on dtblr. but ages ago i had a friend who put a bunch of mutuals in one of those silly hunger games simulators and it became this whole thing where people accused them of only including the “dtblr 1%”. which was like, categorically untrue, but it spawned such inane discourse that it’s ingrained in my mind forever.

Q: Is there anything else you'd like to share or have archived?

A: i think you got an anon asking for 404blr perspectives in the wake of caiti’s statements, which is like… what do i even say except that george is a sexual predator lmfao. because he is! obviously i left the fandom when a lot of people did, after dream’s grooming allegations, because i think he’s also acted inappropriately with underage fans (to put it mildly). the sheer number of survivors publicizing their experiences with abuse and assault in the mcyt space proves how prevalent an issue it is, and how harmful it was to have george and dream (and wilbur, and punz, and so on) in such positions of power there. it’s nauseating to think how much they, and men like them, were able to get away with. i regret how many red flags i overlooked, even back then before the worst of it was known.

i’d like it archived that spider enclosure was technically in the washington post. they ran an article about r/place back in april 2022 and the screenshot they chose for the header included the spot where we wrote “spien” even though it’s so horribly pixelated that it’s illegible.

uhh i think that’s it. sorry if this was more focused on dtblr than 404blr, they were pretty inextricable by 2022. but i hope those people who wanted to hear from 404ers got the insight they were looking for? my parting words… subscribe to tubbo.

[neallo]

29 | she/they | follows from @blondiest

my caard

hi there! this is a compiled list of all my deathnote writing. this is a sideblog (i follow from @blondiest) and is also sometimes explicit. minors - please do not interact w/ explicit posts or fics.

ships i write for in practice: mello/near, matt/mello/near, matt/halle

ships i write for in theory: matt/light, halle/naomi, halle/takada

below is a list of fics i have posted, separated by completion status. i also sometimes share excerpts/snippets of my writing, which can be found under the my writing tag; answered asks can be found under asks; original posts can be found under neallopost. i am not always that good at tagging things unfortunately :-) but i am. trying <3

please see here for my ficlet masterpost for works under 1k that are not part of a larger universe!

complete:

hot soup on a cold day

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 5/5 | words: 15.6k | series [1/2]

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 800 | series [2/2]

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

Minutes to Midnight (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

[part 2 of Time Together]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 3/3 | words: 14.8k

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

[part 1 of together (always)]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to)

[part 2 of together (always)]

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. -- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis. prequel to it's you and me, that's my whole world.

there's nothing i want but you

[part 1 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do

[part 2 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.8k

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage)

[part 3 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 21.7k

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

love enough to drown it out

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.7k

Even when Near is not himself, he’s still Mello’s.

my only one, my smoking gun

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you

[part 2 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse

[part 3 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights

[part 1 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 930

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away

[part 2 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2k

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

engaged

[part 1 of marital bliss]

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

married

[part 2 of marital bliss]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3k

Being married to Mello is, Near finds, better than he could have ever imagined. For the last two months, every day has started the same way. He wakes up to the sound of their alarm, surrounded by Mello. Mello’s chest warm against his back, Mello’s breath tickling his neck, Mello’s arm curled around him, solid and sure. Near has to squirm out of his embrace to turn off the clock, and said squirming inevitably wakes Mello. By the time Near has silenced the alarm, his husband is propped up on one elbow, staring. “Get back here,” Mello always says, his voice coarse with sleep and low enough to make Near shiver.

it’s friday, i’m in love

[part 1 of (not so) casual sex]

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.7k

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

early arrival

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

Distraction (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.9k

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

unknown caller (part 1 of unforeseen circumstances)

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.3k

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

unexpected visitor (part 1 of unforeseen circumstances)

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 7.2k

By the time Mello makes her way to New York and into Near’s bedroom, she has both seriously pissed Near off (by using the murder notebook to kill half her organization) and permanently disfigured herself (by blowing up a building while she was still inside it). She’d imagined slightly rosier circumstances for taking Near’s virginity, but Mello is nothing if not adaptable. She’ll make do or die trying.

shot in the dark (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 8.2k

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

something stronger than the drinks in the bar (matt/halle)

rating: M | category: F/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.3k

A former CIA agent and an exonerated felon walk into a hotel. There’s no punchline. They just fuck.

tobacco tongue

rating: M | category: F/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 800

When Halle wakes up, her resolve is stone: she is not going to fuck Matt again. -- In which Halle swears it's the last time (for the fifth time).

three part harmony

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 2/2 | words: 6.1k

The thing is, whether Mello wants to admit it or not, there’s clearly chemistry between him and Near. It’s not like what he and Matt have with one another; it’s more intense. A little volatile, maybe. It used to be almost painful for Matt to watch, because it made him feel excluded, but he thinks that was probably more a product of his own insecurities than anything else. Now, though... well. Now it kind of turns him on. The first time he realized that, it startled him, because he wasn't just turned on by Mello being in his element, staring intently at Near as the two of them talked over the details of a new case. No. Something about how Near was looking at Mello, the gleam in his eye, the serious set of his jaw— Alright. Matt has a type, okay? He doesn't know why freaky little geniuses do it for him, they just do. Mello probably broke his brain when they lost their virginity to each other in L.A. five years back. It's not Matt’s fault.

untouched

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.5k

The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.

good boy

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 5.3k

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

THE END IS NEAR

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.7k

So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself: Why am I here?

better than him

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.2k

In which Mello thinks Near has a boyfriend, and Near thinks Mello has an infidelity kink.

to have & to hurt

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 7k

Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.

august 18th, 2010 (two-hundred days)

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.6k

Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.

starving

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.7k

Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.

clean cut (bleed slow)

[set in the universe of what doesn't kill me makes me want you more]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2k

The sting of alcohol is sharp on Mello’s split lip, but she suppresses the wince that threatens to surface. It’s bad enough that she lost her shit in front of Near; like hell she’ll let Near see her look weak, too.

a world transformed

[set in the universe of what doesn't kill me makes me want you more]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.7k

In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.

a hard day's night

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.5k

Near wakes to find himself in a soft, inky darkness, completely unable to move. His paralysis is not immediately noteworthy to him. At first, as he is rising from the depths of unconsciousness, it strikes him as quite natural. Comfortable, even. With his mind still half-blanketed by sleep, his thoughts slow and blurry, the weight bearing down on him feels almost like an embrace. This thought is what first brings his attention to the strangeness. Physical affection— physical contact, full-stop— is not part of his daily life. The only people who ever touch him are doctors, dentists, and Mello, though Mello only grabs him when he is about to walk through a puddle or into an obstacle, or, occasionally, when Mello is especially frustrated with him. No one embraces Near. -- In which Mello sleepily invades Near’s space, and Near puzzles through both what is happening and what to do about it.

the end of a long winter

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2k

Five years after the end of their relationship, Matt visits Mello in Minneapolis and meets her not-so-new girlfriend, whose face is a lot more familiar than he’d been expecting.

Impetus

[a sequel to Impulse by @/empressofthewind]

Ten full days after Near had cruelly and callously broken Mello's heart over email— over email, for God's sake— Mello began to experience what could only have been demonic possession or divine inspiration. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and the wishing. -- In which Mello pines and plots to win Near back with a pizza and a few bad lies.

works in progress:

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 6/7 | words: 21.6k

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

bury us both

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 12/15 | words: 23.4k

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

rating: M | category: F/F | chapters: 3/? | words: 6.3k

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

all’s fair in love and war (and this is both)

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 3/4 | words: 15.1k

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

an unusual proposal

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 2/? | words: 4.5k

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

love chained

[part 2 of (not so) casual sex]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/? | words: 4.7k

Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.

15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 2/? | words: 3.8k

He scanned through the table of contents. Hot Trends to Try This Summer. 20 Best Affordable Lip Glosses. How to Take Care of Your Mental Health in College. None of these were right. Near was not interested in fashion, suspected lip gloss would be unpleasant to him from a sensory perspective, and was already the picture of excellent mental health. He kept searching, a small frown on his face, until— lo and behold— he found the page number he was looking for and flipped to the article that would, he assumed, completely change his life: 15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush.

faded to oblivion

rating: E | category: F/M | chapters: 2/? | words: 3.6k

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.

a game of chance

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 3/4 | words: 4.7k

“Um.” Mello wrinkles his nose at the objects in his palm. “What’s the point of this again?” They are standing in the living room of their shared apartment, and also possibly on the precipice of a new and thrilling chapter of their relationship, though Mello is—by design— unaware of this latter detail. — In which Near uses a special set of dice to shift the tides of his relationship with Mello.

[khaopybara]

tag game ✨

@mbjw saved me from saturday boredom and tagged me in this, so thank you jubs, i enjoyed these a lot.

1. why did you choose your url?

i love khaotung. khaotung was obsessed with the capybara song last year before i even knew who he was. capybaras happen to be a very common animal in the region i live. i was very happy they were getting the recognition they deserved. put them together, we have lovely khao + capybaras = khaopybara (i'm also super sure i've seen people here and on tw use this and i just stole it. i'm not creative especially when it comes to usernames).

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i have two other sideblogs. @tuseryoo for all of the gifs i make so i can have all of them in one blog just because, so i feel like i'm not losing track of the things i create (even though i haven't updated that one in a while), and @captain-xandis that some moots might have noticed in their notifications bc i recently created that one to post gifs about critical role, but i always forget to check which blog appears on top of the thingy, so i'm constantly deleting and reblogging things in the right blog these days.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

as of july 3rd, i've been here for 11 years now, so since 2013? which tracks with my super strong k-pop phase tbh.

4. do you have a queue tag?

nah, i have a queue going for gifs that are requests or for episodes that already aired, but usually i just post things whenever.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

ha, i was into super junior. and i was experimenting with fandom for the first time at the time. that's it. i felt like tumblr was a lot more creative and pretty than twitter or facebook, so i stayed.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i am a mook defender and apologist. i also think aya is super cute and super pretty. i change icons so often though, i blame all the pretty women in qls these days for making me change it all the time.

7. why did you choose your header?

i am breathing and living for the heart killers and kantbison and unfortunately i'm dying from lack of content. the tattoo table kiss is going to change lives i think, so until we don't get the official version, i'll have this masterpiece displayed there somehow.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

as of now, it's a 23.5 official trailer gifset of sun being jealous of ongsa with amazing 939 notes, but the gifset of lada protecting earn from hitting her head on the table is quickly catching up with 877.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

17 mutuals? i think that's right.

10. how many followers do you have?

843 if you count the main blog + side-blogs.

11. how many people do you follow?

... 27 blogs.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i mean, sure? i do get embarrassed by my own shitposts sometimes and i delete them tho.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

all the time. it's my favorite social media for sure. i get to see pretty things and my dash is much better curated than other apps. it's great.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i don't think i ever fought online. i block people with remarkable expedience tbh if i don't like their vibe or their tone or the shit they post, and i also make use of the filtered tags, so you know, no reason to fight.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

these exist? good for them. you shouldn't tell people what to do.

16. do you like tag games?

sure! i only started being part of them now, so sometimes i forget them, or i just don't see i was tagged, but i do enjoy them.

17. do you like ask games?

i don't think i've ever done an ask game but that's mainly bc i think people won't want to know and won't send any asks, and i'd rather spare my ego from that humiliation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i think many of my mutuals are famous in our ql bubble which makes it a little crazy that some are my mutuals tbh. that's most of them actually.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do have people that make me kick my feet when they interact with my posts like, twirling my hair, silly smile, giggling because they've noticed me. but actually crushing, imagining our lives in the countryside, with a kitchen facing the meadow in a fine spring morning, with two dogs and three cats, no.

20. tags?

i'm tagging @namtanfilm, @aylinaliens, @sollucets and @sherrymagic, @ayansukkhaphisit and whoever feels like doing it, and to those i've tagged, just ignore this if you want, too, no pressure.

[rayssyscourse]

If everyone isn’t back in their own tags by the time we get back from vacation, after at least three systems called for it, no one has any right to complain about crosstagging. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

real. taking this as an opportunity to ramble about crosstagging

here's my question: literally why. how is crosstagging helping you, like, at all? you (in the general sense, not you clover lol) have your own tags for a reason. tags exist for the purpose of finding and narrowing down audiences, and for blocking content that you don't want to see. crosstagging does nothing to help you except just defeat the whole point of tags. like, is there anyone out there who hasn't gotten irritated when those porn bots use totally random tags so you run across them when you're trying to look at something else? or the "sfw interaction only" disaster, where nsfw/porn accounts invaded a tag that was meant to indicate that the person didn't want to see nsfw? or weeks ago when that Syl guy went around whining and trying to invalidate therians and age regressors in their own tags? that kind of behavior isn't fun for anyone, and the only thing it gets you is a higher chance of people disliking you, blocking you, and arguing with you. and if it's that--the arguing--that you want, you realize you can tag things with "syscourse", "debate", etc. and get to argue with people who actually want to do so?

also, nothing good ever happens as a result of exposing people to content they don't want to see with no warning. lots of people have "syscourse" blocked, not because they're cowards who don't want to debate or whatever you've got going on in your head, but because discourse (shocker) sometimes stresses people out, and a lot of people go on tumblr to have fun and joke around, not for arguments. i mean, there's a reason i have a separate blog for discourse. i made this sideblog because it stressed me out to have discourse on my main blog since i would end up seeing it even when i just meant to look at warrior cats fanart or something lmao. i know lots of perfectly reasonable and nice people who just don't want to argue on the internet, and that's chill. tags are there so that everyone can curate their own internet experience--as we all have the right to do--and it's kind of just pointless and mean to try to sabotage that. furthermore, people who are exposed to discourse in otherwise-safe tags are not going to enjoy it. that will stress them out unnecessarily, they will probably get upset with you and block you or start a pointless argument with you. no ACTUAL progress will be made by trying to bother and argue with people who don't want to argue. and presumably, you KNOW that, which makes it hard to give you any benefit of the doubt since the only reason you could have for crosstagging is... to harass people? to bother them? to make random strangers mildly more irritated while they go about their day? like, don't you have anything better to do? if you care about syscourse, that's great! come debate and discuss with the rest of us, don't drag in people who don't want to be involved. resorting to stuff like cross-tagging just makes me think that you aren't confident enough to debate people who actually want to debate, so the only thing you can do to make yourself feel right is to catch people off guard and then think "wow, I totally won that argument!" when in reality, they just weren't prepared and didn't want to talk.

sorry to ramble under a very simple ask, lol. tl;dr: crosstagging is pointless and isn't going to help convince anybody that you're right.

[little-lovely-demon-doll]

Is This Considered Hypersexuality? /gen

Me trying to figure out if I'm actually hypersexual or if it's a term I'm using due to a lack of better terminology.

I've seen multiple viewpoints and perspectives in a search to find out if I am or not, but I'd like to ask real quick: Would the following experience recounted below count as hypersexuality? I created this sideblog because I didn't want this associated with my main, but here goes nothing.

CW: Grooming mention near the end

♡ Preamble ♡

Before I get into the meat and bones of things, I'm going to state ahead of time and I'm autistic and asexual, two factors that may or may not contribute to the broader consensus. I also have multiple OCD subtypes caused by multiple things, including childhood trauma. Now, I've always struggled on whether or not my experience counts as hypersexuality, and I often flip back and forth between calling myself such and not, but I think it's time to put the mystery to bed with a consensus. As for speaking to my therapist about this, I've yet to, and before I do, I'd like to get a broad consensus for experiences like this at the base level before I feel right to pursue it.

♡ The Experience Itself ♡

Ever since I was a young child, I've been having repeated, almost (if not multiple times) daily thoughts of sex or sexual acts, no matter in public, school, or private. My imagination is extremely active and utilizes pretty much anything that's available in-mind, including sexual content. My problem was worsened by consistent exposure to NSFW content. Throughout my childhood, I always had this consistent need to "relieve" myself, and as I grew older, I ended up getting sucked into extremely NSFW spaces as a minor, particularly from ages 11-14. Nowadays, I have these kinds of sexual thoughts at least once a day, and I've even had some incredibly unwanted ones, including about my associates, family, and closest friends, and even best friend who's sex-repulsed due to severe sexual trauma.

As for the distress factor, they usually only really disturb me when I'm in public, but for the friend ones, they can happen pretty much any time. I'm aware that distress is a large factor in the hypersexual experience, but I usually just deal with it unless it is actively disturbing enough to cause distress, since typically distressing things don't stress me out nearly as much as they should. An exception to this would be sexual thoughts that play into one of my OCD subtypes, and I usually feel incredibly disgusted by those, as well as the thoughts I get about the people mentioned above. The need for self-relief tends to come at random times, sometimes immediately after waking up. I'm unable to act on them if I'm anywhere but home, but there's that. Aside from that, I always feel this intense compulsive need to talk about sex and sexual stuff with my friends, share the sexual and NSFW content I've made to them, and more. I have reason to believe it could be due to the intense craving of familiarity from 2020, which was filled to the brim with sexual stuff, which unfortunately led to my victimization in a grooming situation, but then again, there could be more to it than just that.

As for further details, there's always this background libido, but I can become easily distracted to forget about it for a little while. Nonetheless, it's still there, waiting to return. There's also this intrinsic need to just sexualize myself, but it mostly stays contained to my head due to minor reasons, but the moment I'm 18, it's probably going to devolve into public displays of self-sexuality. Hell, my 18th birthday has been extremely romanticized for years because of the sexual stuff that legally opens up then. I've even taken to using a hentai game that my degenerate ex-friend played in order to divert and alleviate a lot of these thoughts, but also to get that sense of familiarity back. It's also caused me to lose multiple friends and it's further jeopardized multiple relationships, even affecting my real life.

Is there anything I missed in this self-assessment? What is your assessment? Would YOU consider my experience to be hypersexual in nature? I heavily appreciate any help or pointers in the right direction!

[koinotame]

\o/

hi! it's me, nana / koinotame!

if you're wondering why i went inactive and then deleted, my mental health kind of (really) tanked... and i ended up deleting my blog in a fit.

it's getting better bit by bit though! and i've been wanting to get back into writing (and talking abt my unhinged/yan ideas i can't really talk to anyone else abt), so. here i am! for now, at least

as for my previously posted writing, there's some good news and some bad news: the bad news is that everything i wrote directly into tumblr (99% of snippets, a lot of ask answers, most exact content warnings, etc) is gone. the slightly less bad news is that iirc there were very very few posts of mine that weren't reblogged by anyone at all, so they're probably still out there? feel free to send them my way if you find any and i'll rb them. @/midnight-remembrance also has reblogged a couple of them! there's a couple snippets i have saved in some places, so i might repost those on my own as i find them, but there's very few of those. the good news is that anything longer (proper writing — oneshots, hcs, yan alphabet responses and so on, prompt responses, etc) is safely backed up where i originally wrote it! some of it is also on my ao3, which is the same username. feel free to send me asks about any you'd like to see again and i'll repost them! i might not post them if i feel too embarrassed about/wish i hadn't posted them, and i might rewrite/heavily edit some of them, but i think there's only a handful that fall into the former category and none of them were particularly popular. either way, no harm in asking!

as for some other updates: i'm a little divided on whether i want to keep posting explicit nsfw or not so we'll see. i might just keep it out of main tags. idk yet. regardless of what decision i make, this blog is still strictly 18+ and that will not be changing. since we can reply from sideblogs now, this is a sideblog and not my main now. why? sometimes i prefer to check up on a blog frequently instead of following them for a couple of reasons, but this felt very awkward when they were following me. so this being a sideblog relieves a bit of that stress. if this makes it sound like i have severe brain worms, it's because i do. to that effect though, if we interact every so often feel free to consider us mutuals regardless of whether or not i'm actually following you =w=b tbh i.............. am not really into genshin anymore. i might post about it here and there but i just Do Not (really) Care about it anymore. scara aside to some degree i also have no clue what's going on post inazuma lol whatever projects or commitments to writing or etc i had made beforehand. i forgot all of them so just pretend that never happened ok? ok i'll also probably be posting more sparsely, but we'll see! and (this is obviously the most important bit) i have no clue where i put the mika edit so we're back to my og classic pfp. the header scales terribly and is temporary, please ignore that too

all that aside, as a treat for anyone who sees this in time,

*roughly 6/22 done, but fairly quick to write. roughly one paragraph per character (sneak peek line: "it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that.") **more realistic isn't quite the right word(s)... probably won't post this one to the main tags regardless. won't be doing all of the characters (only important/relevant ones) and won't be writing more about/expanding on, so this one is just like. a one off experiment sort of thing. overall less violent than most takes on the au + leans a bit (or lot, depending on how you look at it) more on the religious aspect of self aware aus. i wrote a couple paragraphs a while ago, then rewrote them, but i'll only finish/post them if there's interest for it (sneak peek line: "aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace.")

i have one other new thing immediately ready for posting that'll get posted in a couple of days but that one's pretty silly

[deathbypixelz]

Hello! I saw the caption "night elf secession au go brr" and desperately want to know more. If you don't have a post somewhere I didn't see (sorry if I missed it) would you feel up to sharing at some point?

I don’t already have a full post about it anywhere because I’m constantly in the process of adding finer details. I made an “adjusted timeline” post on my deathbydarkelves sideblog a while ago, but that’s old by now and I’ve changed some things around. Even so, I will not lie, I have been WAITING for someone to ask me about it >:) so *cracks my knuckles* guess it’s time to make that post.

(GIGANTIC info dump incoming)

The basic things to know about this AU are 1.) Shadowlands never happens (my dislike of SL was actually what inspired me to make this AU in the first place), and 2.) the timeline is stretched out so things happen at a slightly more reasonable pace. In the canon timeline, all of the expansions (minus Dragonflight ofc) happen right after each other and each take place over 1-2 years, which is silly in my opinion. I did leave some of them alone length-wise, sometimes 1-2 years is fine, but almost all of the expansions now have a few years in between. Breathing room is good to have if you ask me. Oh also the N’Zoth/Azshara stuff doesn’t happen during the Fourth War, that’ll happen somewhere later down the line. But that’s not the main point…

Everything up until the middle/end of the Fourth War is pretty much the same, except for the aforementioned lengthening of the timeline. Teldrassil happens in 45 ADP, whereas in the game it’s 33 ADP, for example. So Teldrassil burns, the war happens in basically the same way it does in canon, and it ends with the mak’gora outside Orgrimmar (in 47 ADP). Then the actual changes begin.

Maiev joins Tyrande to track down Sylvanas, and Malfurion takes Tyrande’s place as a temporary leader for the night elves (aided by Shandris). Then for 5 or 6 years, really not much happens. Things are… fine on Kalimdor. Mt. Hyjal sorta becomes the new population center for the night elves (and handful of worgen) who stayed, and rebuilding efforts are definitely underway. But they don’t have the resources or the ships to bring all the refugees back. A portal that could support that many people would be far too demanding and risky to use.

(Note: I changed how portals work slightly to make them less OP, and in a nutshell, you can only make portals at specific points on Azeroth, specifically where natural ley lines connect. If you want a bigger portal, or one independent from ley lines, you either need an outside power source (see: the Dark Portal) or you need to be on top of a gigantic web of interconnecting ley lines. Some places have more ley lines than others (example: Suramar). Also it takes a lot of a mage’s energy to keep a portal of any size open for very long. They opened portals to Stormwind during the burning of Teldrassil, but only because it was such a bad situation; portals that go across such a long distance are very unstable and very expensive to both conjure and maintain. They also could only create them in specific places, which is why they couldn't get nearly as many people out as they would've liked :c)

So, with no way to bring them back, the refugees have just got to stay in Stormwind City and Elwynn. It’s rough; very few of the night elves speak Human (I renamed Common because I don’t like the undertones with that name), and the Stormwind government is being pretty laissez-faire about the whole thing. They have to worry about helping Kul Tiras and Stromgarde so they can rebuild, after all :) Building new ships and collecting all the supplies for the months-long voyage to Kalimdor is too expensive, the government says. But it'll happen, definitely, don't worry. It'll definitely happen. Eventually.

So night elf-Alliance relations decay. Stormwindians are tired of having homeless elves on their streets, the elves are tired of being homeless. There’s he-said-she-said stories of humble, hard-working humans being robbed at night by elves on the brink of starvation, and there are she-said-he-said stories of humans setting fire to tents on the edges of their property to scare off humble, hard-working elves just trying to find a place to live. In not so many words: animosity grows. This isn’t out of the blue; historically (even in canon), the other races of the Alliance haven’t really done much for the night elves except for when they helped push the orcs out of Ashenvale all the way back during the Third War (which was 30 years ago at this point). They’ve really just used them for an extra source of soldiers. The “deterrence from Horde attack” benefit the night elves were promised back then was proven false with Teldrassil, and that’s not to speak of smaller skirmishes that had happened every now and then even before the Fourth War. If anything, being part of the Alliance made the night elves a target. Sylvanas burned Teldrassil to provoke the Alliance into a war (note: I am still working on her exact motivations, since I deleted the Jailer and that weird thing with Elune because um??? no?????). Logically, if they hadn’t been a part of the Alliance, they would’ve probably been left alone. And that’s the realization Tyrande comes to, after tracking Sylvanas down in Northrend — where she and her closest followers had decided to hide out until things calmed down — and killing her.

Then she and Maiev return from their 6 or 7 year-long journey, and Tyrande is outraged at the way her people have been treated. Malfurion had also been made aware in the intervening time, and he’d started showing the Alliance that even though he didn’t have as much executive power as Tyrande, he could still rock the boat as it were. After the requests he made directly of Anduin and other Alliance leaders to give the refugees at least, like, a little support were either half-fulfilled or not at all, he basically starts a mild trade war. This was a pretty controversial move even among the night elves, but there wasn’t much else he could do. But during the Long Vigil, the night elves had perfected the art of being self-sufficient, and it definitely hurt the Eastern Kingdoms more than it hurt them. So with that set into motion, and Tyrande’s mind made up, she returns to her place as High Priestess and diverts every available resource into finally bringing the refugees home. It’s a very slow process, and relations continue to decay as it happens. But eventually everyone who wants to go back to Kalimdor does. A portion of worgen stay, and even some night elves who had their own reasons. But the majority do go back.

Then, after negotiating borders with the (now much more diplomatic) Horde, Tyrande cuts off ties with the Alliance. Relations had been iffy at best ever since they joined — their alliance had been built on “enemy of my enemy”, after all — but the other nations showed their true colors during and after the Fourth War. The Alliance’s High King himself had failed to send troops to help reclaim Darkshore when he had very clearly shown he was more than willing to send soldiers to Arathi, Lordaeron, and Kul Tiras. And again, the whole “if we hadn’t been a part of the Alliance, Sylvanas wouldn’t have seen us as a target” thing. So, with Darkshore, Moonglade, Winterspring, Felwood, Mount Hyjal, most of Ashenvale, and portions of Stonetalon now within their control again, the night elves settle into another period of isolation. It’s not quite a second Long Vigil — there’s some trade/interaction with the draenei (due to proximity and shared trauma) and tauren (due to shared values) — but all in all, they’re on their own now. Relations with the Horde aren’t good per se, but both sides are willing to agree on a “if you don’t fuck with us, we won’t fuck with you” policy. They both want to avoid anything like Teldrassil ever happening again, and that’s ultimately what allows northern Kalimdor to exist in relative peace.

I don’t have quite so many details decided after this point, but I do still have a general idea. Dragonflight happens about ten or fifteen years-ish after the night elves secede, and since they’re still keeping an eye on the other factions and the world in general with magic, spies, and magic spies, they decide to send their own expedition to the Dragon Isles. They keep to their own, and any accidental interactions with Alliance adventurers are tense at best. We’ll have to see how this expansion plays out, but I intend on using the dragons (specifically the Aspects) to fix the sword in Silithus somehow. It’s definitely still a big problem, and it’s been causing climate change-like effects this entire time (unpredictable and extreme weather events globally) as well as its own unique, “fun” issues (weird tectonic anomalies, the elements are extremely agitated, and azerite is still a thing people fight over). I actually already had the “elements are cranky” idea before that was revealed to be a thing in Dragonflight, so I’m glad that lined up because that saves me some work lmao.

(Also just wanted to say that a lot of night elves see azerite as the reason for the Fourth War and, by extension, Teldrassil. They want absolutely nothing to do with it.)

I’m also considering putting a version of the N’Zoth and Azshara story around there, when the sword is removed, since I figure such a big disturbance to Azeroth would be enough to wake up an Old God. But that’s for later down the line and it depends on whether that would clutter the story too much or not. Either way, after whatever’s gonna happen in Dragonflight (or rather, how much of it I decide to keep) and after the sword is fixed, the night elves are gonna stick to their own unless there’s a dire need for them to leave Kalimdor. They’re tired, man. They need time to rebuild, and to heal.

However, I do have concepts for a little Alliance-night elf conflict that could crop up at some point. The Horde may have agreed to leave the night elves alone, but the Alliance are imperialists. And aren’t too happy that they were, in their eyes, betrayed by a long-time ally…

So yeah! That’s my night elf secession AU. It’s extremely self-indulgent and a lot of fun to explore for me. WoW really has not given the night elves a lot of opportunities to be the badass mysterious amazon nation they are in Warcraft III, so I wanted to bring that back while also preserving some of what WoW DID add to their story, because I really do think Teldrassil is such a good jumping-off point for a huge shift in the overall Warcraft narrative... as much as it hurts me and as much as I am genuinely incapable of watching the Warbringers: Sylvanas or Old Soldier cinematics anymore. Night elves have meant a lot to me for a very long time and stories of people going through hell and still coming out okay on the other side are my favorite stories, so I want to tell my own.

I’m also open to more questions about this AU, I have a lot of little things I changed both in regards to things like how magic works and minor lore changes, like how I made Teldrassil at least a couple thousand years old, as opposed to the 15 (or so) years it had existed in canon before it was burned. They only planted it after the Third War. You can check. It’s extremely stupid and everyone ignores that little detail so I will too <3

Anyway, thank you so much for asking, I’ve been dying to share all this and I didn’t realize that until you asked JHNDJSKJ

[infiniteorangethethird]

Hellooooo hi, I'm too lazy to scroll yeah

Can you tell me a bit about your paracosm? :3

A bit? Nope, sorry, no can do, I can only tell you a metric fuck TON about my paracosm. Hope ur prepared for an infodump >:)

Sooooo uh. There’s a lot to talk abt (because I don’t know how to shut up) so let me break it up a little. Setting-wise, the story’s set in a fantasy version of Earth, where the most important difference (aside from the presence of magic) is that if someone writes a story and enough people read it, the story becomes real in a parallel dimension. I originally thought of this as a way to explain how my OCs could meet with the characters from my favorite shows/books, nowadays it’s both a mechanic that facilitates the story and (recently more frequently) the focus and source of conflict.

Because of the setting, aside from the numerous stolen characters from other media and reworked versions of said stolen characters, there’s obviously a lot of magic going around with a fuckton of places to visit and even more magical species to populate the world and wield said magic – “angels”, demons, shapeshifters, monsters, gods, you name it. Most of my paras are non-human and those who are also tend to have non-human ancestry or some kind of extra magical power (what’s the point of fantasy without fantasy, yknow?). But also, because I have a weird obsession with Organizing and Putting Things In Boxes, I have the physics of magic worked out to an absurd detail, feel free to shoot me an ask abt it if you want to be bored to death :D

Plot-wise… well. I would summarize the story, I actually HAVE a pretty decent summary, but it’s like, 100+ pages (50k+ words if I recall correctly), and I’m pretty sure tumblr would not Like That (and this version’s not even up to date), so. There used to be a lot of exploration of the world (aka me integrating my current interests into my paracosm because I can), nowadays it’s a lot more character-focused, with the plot revolving around 15-ish “main” paras and their lives. Which can be anything from “I can finally go to college and study the stuff I wanna study! Yay!” to “oh god oh fuck I’m a general in a multidimensional war and thousands are dead if I make the wrong move” so. There’s a lot of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. (I am a sucker for big epic fights tho so that happens a lot lol)

Thematically, I like to focus on the inner worlds of my paras and how they relate to the world around them. Each of them come from different backgrounds with different perspectives so any time I wanna explore a concept I can just pick whoever falls closest to that (like, “oh THIS one was abandoned by their family but THIS one is a stable father figure, found family trope go brrr” just to name an example). There’s a lot of hurt/comfort generally speaking, heavy on the emotional angst and, because I’m a secret whump enjoyer, there also tends to be a lot of blood. Like a lot. (Dw I always balance it out with some old-fashioned “finding peace in each other’s presence” daydreams, especially soft and cuddly.) Oh yeah and also everyone’s gay but that’s pretty much expected at this point.

Sometimes I also like to wonder about the morality of certain aspects of this universe, since the setting and world is so different from ours, but ig that’s a topic for another day haha

Anyway yeah that’s as short as I could get it 😅 it’s a bit hard to talk about my paracosm as a whole because it’s so old and as a result incredibly widespread. I do have a sideblog dedicated to it but tbh I haven’t really touched it in ages so what little info it has is probably outdated. Idk what else to say, if there’s any part you’d want me to go into greater detail feel free to ask (I know ppl mostly only care about the paras which, fair, but when it comes to talking abt my paracosm practically any topic is free for the asking lol), and sorry for the long ramble haha

Bonus doodle of one of my paras (Rowena) I did like a day ago

[icannotreadcursive]

Self-Rec Tag Game

Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

Tagging my own damn self, might should be posting this to my writing sideblog @eiirisworkshop but I'm not bothering.

To Tell the Truth Ongoing Brokeback Mountain longfic, rated M, currently 29 chapters and just under 50k wordcount. Canon divergent starting from when Ennis comes home to Alma after the summer he meets Jack. Very much a what could have been kind of fic with lots of making people (coughEnniscoughcough) talk about their feelings but without easy fixes to the very real obstacles our boys face.

Momento Ipsum, Remember Yourself Complete Old Guard fic, rated M, 6 chapters, just under 20k words. It's a meeting-younger-selves fic with the whole team! Explorations of religion, trauma, and sense of self that I'm really proud of. Communication and how language is woven through identity are central themes, and I taught myself some coding to make two versions of this fic that use either different fonts or different text colors to differentiate dialogue in different languages.

The Measure of a Tit Sailor Moon oneshot, rated T, 824 words. Short, fun, and funny little ficlet about bras, binders, and gender expression starring my favorite senshi, Sailor Uranus, Haruka Tenoh .

Chiaroscuro Complete Star Trek: TOS fic, rated T, 16 chapters, a little over 30k wordcount. Set aboard the Enterprise late in her 5-year mission (so, sometime after the tv show ended). I made up an excuse to stick Kirk and Spock, Spock's parents, and two space hobos one of whom is half Vulcan and actively rejects Vulcan culture all on a starship together. Shenanigans, arguments over cultural values, discussion of consent with regards to Pon Farr, Kirk and Spock finally doing something about their mutual pining, and Uhura winning a full-crew betting pool ensues.

In From the Cold Incomplete post-Winter Soldier MCU fic, rated T (though I should probably bump it to M...), currently 55 chapters and almost 175k--not counting the two pulled-out sort of episode fics that happen between or parallel to chapters in the main fic that add almost another 20k. This becomes a good old "everyone is living at Stark Tower" fic a few chapters in. Very focused on Steve and Bucky and Bucky's recovery from having been the Winter Soldier. I put him in actual goddamn therapy--and this fic long predates the Falcon and Winter Soldier show. Also a major Clint/Coulson plot thread that digs deep into Phil's trauma from having been killed by Loki and brought back. Pulls in elements from Agents of SHIELD and some of my favorite bits from comics. And look, this fic has not been updated in years, so if I'm reccing it I want to be up front about that. But it is not abandoned! In fact, with how life changes are going I expect to be able to get back to work on this fic within the next year and could have new chapters ready as early as Christmas if all goes well. It's long enough that depending how fast you read, it could carry you til then. This is genuinely some of the work I'm most proud of and has one of the most complexly woven plots I've ever produced (which is why it's been so hard for my to pick back up these past few years). If you miss the team-as-family vibes of early-mid 2010s MCU fandom and wish various characters' trauma was handled with more care, then this is the fic for you.

Tagging: @kueble @nerdsandthelike @rainbowvamp @tinyferalbeing @makingshortstorieslong

[flameblessed]

RULES

Hello, my name is topaz. I am 25+ and he/they. I run several other blogs, including ones in this space. I work full-time and am disabled so I may not always be active. If you rush me for replies, I will not want to write with you. As someone with serious chronic conditions, there are times in which I will be unable to reply. If this is something you cannot tolerate in an rp partner, we may not be compatible. In addition, I tend to prefer longer replies bordering on novella and so even if I do not intend for a thread to get long, it may. This blog is multi-verse and multi-ship. Mains get priority but I am not exclusive.

Recently, there was an incident involving a former friend of mine in which he behaved very very strangely and cruelly to me. His name is Jay and/or JJ and he was not happy when i put him into a DNI after he hurt me very badly. He tried to make a callout about me to twist what he did and act like the victim. I never saw the post itself because I cannot stand to look at his blog. He has since deleted his blog but he did make a callout in an attempt to paint me as cruel and manipulative for my reactions to him. I posted a DNI about him in my rules, and when his friends continued to attempt to follow me, I made this post in which i continued to push that I wanted no crossover in our circles. Following that he made the callout in which I was told he edited our messages and only put parts he could use to paint his own narrative. After trying to hurt me further with this action, he deleted his blog. This is my response to him at the time. Mind you, I had him blocked but according to people who were still mutuals with him at the time, he was posting responses to my claims as if he could see my blogs. Which meant either he was block evading or having someone give him updates. Either way, the idea that he is still able to see my blogs made me incredibly uncomfortable. He hurt a lot of people. I am not his only victim. I DO NOT WANT ANYONE THAT INTERACTS WITH HIM NEAR ME. I do not care how minor the connection is. I cannot feel safe here so long as I feel he can see me. His blogs were ifri/tma/de (deleted), tales/wr/itt/en, baldu/rm/ad/e, and s/tori/esu/ng. Please be safe friends. I am not the type of person to do this type of thing, but sometimes people put you in situations. I will not discuss him further in public. I am happy for all of the supportive anons I got. They made me feel less crazy. If you do have any questions or concerns, you can speak with me privately. I do not want my blog to be all talking about him.

PERSONAL BLOGS: do not reblog ic posts, headcanons, or answers to asks. i will tag posts with ‘ok to rb’ if anyone can reblog them. please respect this. 

This blog is mutuals-only. If your rp account is a sideblog connected to a personal, please send me a message telling me so I know about the side blog. it may take me a little while to follow back because I am incredibly anxious because of everything that happened.

Multi-muse blogs, I love you guys. All I ask is to please specify your muses when you try to interact with me with starter calls or memes. You can send as many muses as you want.

I don't follow back or interact with fandoms I am not familiar with usually. Apologies about that! I have only played like 3 FF games. And only XIV and XVI since I've been old enough to actually process media.

Very OC friendly. I have an oc and I love him. I will lovingly stare at your oc and cradle them in my arms.

You can ALWAYS continue an answer as a thread. You can ALWAYS send me the ask. PLEASE. I want to write with you. Do not doubt this please. I also do not care if you reblog from me or the source on any NON memes. So for musings and aesthetics or whatever, you can reblog from me.

If you are anti-lgbt+, homophobic/biphobic/transphobic, racist, sexist, or ableist, kindly fuck off. I am a disabled queer and I am not going to keep my anger quiet for the sake of your comfort. Honestly, not interested in interacting with anyone who is"right-leaning". LMAO. I also do not like people that constantly vague blog about others. Or put others down to prop themselves up.

This blog is highly headcanon-based. I only really am married to the lore within the game and not in side material or lore books. There is some I keep but most I don't care about.

I am not ship-exclusive. It is difficult for me to even be exclusive with certain characters since Clive is more or less in a canon relationship with Jill. I won't push this relationship on anyone outside of Clive having very strong feelings for her. But yeah, I am not ship-exclusive. Especially not with canon ships. I WILL however be exclusive in terms of shipping with certain characters. I cannot really see myself shipping with any other Cids than my main one.

In terms of mains, they always get priority. These are typically people that I have ooc connections with or generally just really trust and have meshed with.

These rules are subject to change!

[impulsea]

do you mind if non rp blogs follow you? i'm not a roleplayer myself but i always really appreciate your analysis and insight into ariel's character. i understand if you don't want that though!!

Hey, friend! That's such a sweet compliment- thank you so much! To answer your question, non rp blogs are welcome to follow! I love any activity and, while this is a rp blog, as you mentioned I also do a lot of analyses, appreciation, and answer questions ooc about TLM's creation/franchise at large, so this is a forum for all fans! I was thinking about creating a Discord group a while back, actually, and still might if there's interest! Also, activity, of any sort, actually helps my muse and keep this blog going. Sometimes it does feel a little lonely, so having friends to come to on here would help me and the longevity of this mermaid garden more than you know! The only interaction I shy away from is that of duplicates, because I don't want either of us- intentionally or unintentionally- to have our muse informed of the other (I'm open to talking ooc though with other Ariel muns!) and generally people who commit creative larceny and steal my content, viewpoints, or thoughts, as has often happened. But again, anyone else is more than welcome!

I'm in a similar place with my other blogs- so other ways you can find me, or places you can interact with me/the Disney fandoms if you like the one each blog is dedicated to:

Princess Aurora from 1959's Sleeping Beauty (my first blog ever and my first muse! one of the ones I'm most active on; she's actually the main account all the others are sideblogs from, which is why I can't follow back from impulsea! All notifications would be 'auroracle')

Cinderella from 1950's Cinderella (also one of my first muses but just relaunched her account in 2021. GIANT muse, especially right now, so if you have any love to spare, feel free to pay it forward to her!)

Snow White from 1937's Snow White (I really love her and she, along with Ariel, haven't been as popular as the former two).

And then to a lesser extent, Princess Fiona from Shrek and Odette from The Swan Princess. These are the extent of my Princess muses, with the original four being the most consistent ones- I had a list of every muse I wanted to create and I was definitely going to do at least four others (finally venturing into non-Princesses, since these six are the extent of the princesses I'm interested in portraying), but again I'm just in a place on Tumblr where I'm not finding my audience or people to interact with so tbd!

[dat2ndaccount97]

Twitter talk

While it is fun watching twitter crash in burn, for me personally it kinda hurts. I love twitter. It's not perfect, there's a lot of weirdos and assholes on there and can be a cesspool of negativity. But for me it's the place where I met a lot of my current friends, Where I spent many years talking about and keeping up on all the things I love like Comics and movies and fighting games and Pizza and Barbie dolls. The place where I am A MASSIVE Emma Stone Stan. Where I got to kill time whenever I had any down time at home or away on my phone. It felt like an online home away from home. And it's also the place where I post daily about the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman Films over on Daily Batman Anthology, which has been a passion project of mine for over 2 years

And Look. I LOVE Tumblr. On my main it was the place I felt safest online for the longest time, where I could just gush about my undying love for Anna from Frozen, my love of frozen in general, talk about my life a little more openly both the good and bad, and a lot of that carried over here into this sideblog, where I continue to be open about everything and post about my Dolls and whatever shows up on the feed. Not to mention all my awesome freinds i've made along the way on here

But it's not a twitter replacement for me. It's just not the same. It's close enough to where I can talk/post about the things I like in a similar Manner, and where I could totally move Daily Batman Anthology if twitter goes under. But It's such a vastly different ecosystem here. I can't just look at the trending tab to see that "oh nintendo shadow dropped a game announcement" or "Hey that thing I like or that person I adore is trending" or actually important and/or exciting news of things happening in the world. Or Make a Comment on my friend's dumb meme and have another friend comment to my comment. It's just not the same.

Plus there's no group chats (I think, they had it here sometime ago but it stank and no one used it). I just hope Elon doesn't destroy my preferred social media site. It has it's problems but it's my (online) home. and i'd miss it real bad if it's an empty barren wasteland that eventually gets shut down.

[39472034658449305249465224devils]

where do i dm i see pics that remind me of u but no dm . sadge -gd

yeah this acc has been broken sense i made it for some reason, if you werent here to see it when i did remake, first of all tumblr's verification link for me was literally a dead link that sent me to a missing location, and also for some reason, there is literally no way for me to turn my blog DMs on for my sideblogs.

if u see a post that reminds u of me, i 90000% prefer being tagged in posts rather than DMed them! also nothing personal if i dont rb a post u tagged me in, theres a few reasons i may not. 1. i already reblogged it. dont worry, i do this one a lot too, you go "oh this post reminds me of you! (not notice is reblogging from the person youre tagging)" like its fine. i will usually unlike and like the post again so show u ive seeen it :] 2. its in my queue! either, ive already queued it, OR ive queued it from you. in which case, the reblog is going to happen just not now. 3. i dont really get it. sometimes in the past ive been tagged in fandoms i... didnt even know existed. i uh. no hard feelings. but like, i... dont know what that is and i dont really want to reblog it. it doesnt hurt to ask me before hand if im interested in post for [xyz video game] for example. chances are the answer is no.

oh, and wayyy too mentally ill thing under the cut thats just too much writing for me to want to delete but like TLDR: id actually prefer if nobody DMs me. my DMs on tumblr are for emergencies or very private questions or for when i explicitly state to DM me (usually one of the 2 prior things.) i am VERY much autistic + ocd+ptsd+schizoph which makes me just 300% socially non existent, i can really only talk directly VIA group chats or similar settings. DMs make me feel trapped and forced and are simply "the emergency place to me". and for the love of god please do not go into my dms on main and say "im sorry for dming you im worthless and stupid" after reading this. please use my ask box or replies to talk instead, or like, namedrop me in a post if im following u, i will find it. if u want me to see a post, go ahead and tag me on/in it!

Tumblr DMs: for emergencies and private concerns

Discord DMs: professional stuff like commissions

[superblysubpar]

Hi Taylor! Responding to your post about engagement. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. The only ST blogs (including writers) I'm seeing have super active engagement right now are people who make a ton of personal posts for their followers to interact with: talking about their personal lives, asking opinions, soliciting recommendations for things like hair products/other stuff their audience probably has opinions about! But those are people who have a LOOOOOOT of followers and are constantly interacting with them. Which isn't everyone's cup of tea! I used to write in a different fandom and cranked out a ton of work and had an obscene number of followers, but I didn't like sharing a lot about myself because I was a minor and I'm kind of a private person, and that made it almost impossible to drive engagement or make connections. I had like a billion likes and reblogs on everything I posted (in the age where reblogs were given more freely). But I didn't have any friends and didn't receive many comments (maybe like 30 across all of my works combined), so my fandom experience felt really lonely. I want to stress here, and I am not humblebragging or anything, I was the #1 most popular of all writers in my (massive, at the time) fandom based on the number of hits and likes I received on my platform of choice. I still had no friends and felt invisible. Eventually, I pulled the plug because the only meaningful interaction I was getting were requests or people asking when I was going to update, which felt frustrating and also alienating.

Now that I'm seeing other writers get that engagement by just being a little more open with their followers and kind of carving out their own identity as a person, I think my fandom experience would have been a lot more rewarding if I had felt comfortable doing that. You already frequently interact with other blogs by reblogging their stuff with commentary. And I want to say, that's exactly how you would make those connections, usually. Have you tried kind of keeping tabs on followers who frequently interact with your stuff, maybe following them back if you like their blog or reaching out directly to them? A lot of people find writers intimidating, but if you see them leaving nice commentary frequently in the notes or something, it could be worth DMing them to talk about the fandom you have in common or even to follow up on their comments about your work!

I hope I'm not telling you stuff you already know. Another thing I wanted to say is: I love your work, and you're doing great. I don't comment as much as I should, and I'm pretty busy a lot of the time. (Sometimes it takes me several tries to read through a chapter because I have to keep putting my phone down to deal with things like family, work, etc.) When that happens, it can be hard to use my indoor voice in support, because I'm already in a headspace of just being glad I was able to finish something I enjoyed and reblog it. But I love your work, and I'm always excited when you post. I do all my ST stuff on a sideblog and it isn't very active, but I love your energy, so if you want, I can DM you on my main and maybe we could be friends! 🌻

Thank you so much for all of this! Again, it's clear from these messages and my DMs that I'm not the only one feeling this way, and already that has helped, and I'm glad we're all talking about this.

Unfortunately, yeah, I kind of already knew these things and have been trying for a few months now. I know things don't happen over night, but sharing personal posts and leaving them up for 24 hours with zero interaction, I'll tend to delete the post then. But I do try to share a lot, and I'd love to share more. I'm always reblogging those asks, I even posted my face a few times, I talk about screenwriting & things outside of tumblr - but this also lead to some nasty anons. I know it's kind of a give and take - what am I willing to put up with, and what do I actually want, so maybe I really do just need to up it more than I have been.

I definitely notice people in my notifications and if I don't follow, I try to send a DM. Like I said, I'm trying 💛

And thank you 💛💛 I really get it. I don't have the energy most days to read, my drafts of tbr is over 60 and many of them are series. And I'm not upset about reblogs or comments or anything like note count. I've done a lot of work to feel better about those sorts of things. Not to over state it, but I'm just in a community seeking headspace in both tumblr life and real life, and it's just easy to feel isolated lately.

Overall, I'm glad I posted about all of this because maybe it got some people thinking, and it most definitely got me connected to more of you, and for that I'm extremely grateful 💛 I'd absolutely love to chat more, my DMs are always open, truly 💛💛💛

[aekashic]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. god of the cosmos, eternatus of endlessness. by percival (he/him, 30+). this blog is a sideblog to @godstrain + @godraet so if you're followed by wesker or ganondorf that's why :)

legend (tba). rules under readmore.

affiliated with [ . . . ]

𝐨𝐧𝐞. #AEKASHIC is an independent, private, highly selective and mutuals exclusive writing blog for eternatus of the pokemon franchise, but re-imagined for the horror genre.

this blog is 18+. please do not follow me if you are under 18!

on this note, this blog will feature dark and triggering themes. i have been in the fandom before, this is by far not my first rodeo, but i am back with new ideas because of course i am! and these new ideas are all from me being special interest resident evil lmao so it's going to get messy! i will make sure to tag these things with the format of #trigger so that they can be filtered out!

𝐭𝐰𝐨. shipping is not the priority here- also eternatus is a cosmic god and while capable of taking a mortal form, isn't about all of that lmao.

if shipping happens, it will require a LOT of plotting and will not be with any mun or muse under the age of 21.

i am also very open to any other sort of bonds though, just let me know!

i should also note that i will accept mains and exclusives! -

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. am known for writing metas across the blogs i have. in the wise words of a friend:

with this in mind, the metas i write are portrayal specific to this blog, so please give them a read! i know i can be rather wordy- anyone who has followed me elsewhere may know this, but for my first time followers, worldbuilding is one of my favorite things to do. i am particularly fond of analysis of character psychology.

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. to the point above, i do have other blogs! i run @godraet and @hmrtia, those ones are rather well known. i am in and out of other fandoms, but i am trying to focus on a smaller group of things for my own sanity.

and by this, i mean i work 32-40 hours as a registered nurse in an inpatient psychiatric unit. i am busy, i am tired, and i can't keep letting my focus go all over the place. inevitably, it still may do that because i have a tendency to be scattered, so if i don't get to something immediately, it isn't you, it's me!

also related to that, i do love communication! i struggle with reading the room (it's the Autism tm) and so if something's up or if you're bothered, please be direct with me! i will not take offense, i quite appreciate feedback so that i can be better as a person! in return, i will communicate back! i am learning to curate my space (after 10+ years of being on tumblr).

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. there are people i won't interact with due to various reasons- my dni list is on the carrd of my other blogs. i won't interact with genderbent versions of characters, people who are Real Life Individuals (not counting fictional depictions like in the typemoon franchise or whatnot because those really have nothing to do with the actual individual they're supposedly based on?).

please stay far away from me if you fall under the following categories (i'm censoring things because god knows tumblr just picks shit up idk): proshipping, writing inc*st, p*dophilia, r*pe/n*ncon, are transphobic/homophobic- the usual gross behavior! use your moral compass!

on top of that, i am a firm believer that we learn from the media around us. full censorship is just as dangerous as the aforementioned things- the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows! please refer to this post which essentially summarizes the gist of what i'm trying to explain.

𝐬𝐢𝐱. anyway, hello, i'm percival. i am 30+ and use he/him pronouns exclusively! i am a hobby artist (it's my side-gig from nursing) and sometimes i post my art, tagged #whats my art tag considering i constantly forget my art tag if it's fancy. please do not repost my art without my permission. my icons for eternatus' mortal form are of goetia from fgo. art credit is at the bottom here!

mutuals, feel free to ask me for my discord, since i am much easier to reach there!

i look forward to writing with you!

art credit for icons ╱ はぬい,