#they were the first ever route I got and I think it’s funny. Guy who’s always down to throw hands and guy who dngaf

[quirinah]

oomfs started playing a certain visual novel recently

[dyns33]

Flufftober 5 - Venom

Eddie x Reader x Venom

           "It's my night ! My night !"

           "Yes, Venom. Even though we said it was our night and you're being a little selfish, it's your night too."

           "My night ! Tell him morsel ! Tell him!"

Y/N didn't say anything, too busy laughing because Eddie and his alien were arguing over something totally ridiculous again.

In Venom's defence, Halloween was definitely the only night of the year he could hit the streets without anyone being scared of him, besides some other costume moments of course. He was always very proud to talk about the party where everyone loved him, when he 'came out of Eddie's closet'. Again, unable to stop laughing, she failed to explain why it was funny, while Eddie sighed.

Not only was he going to be able to go out without having too much trouble, if he behaved well, but there were also the candies.

Ever since he heard about the candy and other sweets he was about to receive, Venom had been "hopping" on Eddie's shoulder from morning to evening, and even at night, excited and drooling as he imagined the mountain of sugar he was going to be able to ingest in a single night.

           "I've already put on a little weight because of you, I don't want it to get worse at all. You won't eat everything all at once."

           "I'm sucking out a lot of your fat, Eddie. If you've gained weight, it's only your fault."

           "Liar !"

           "I don't think you've gained weight." Y/N said caressing his cheek. "If so, that looks great on you anyway."

           "Thanks babe."

           "He's actually put on a bit of weight, and I don't think that looks good on him. Big butt."

           "I don't have a big butt."

           "He's got a big cute little butt."

           "No, just big. But that's not important ! My night is coming ! We have to decide where we're going, to get the most treats ! I saw on the television, there are areas where they give more sweets than others !"

Not knowing at all the best route for the candy hunt, Eddie and Y/N spent several hours in front of the computer searching, until their alien was satisfied with the plan they had found. They were then able to go for a walk.

Some people were a little scared of the giant, who only replied that he was Venom when asked what he was disguised as. But with Y/N ​​dressed as a Star Trek character next to him, perfectly calm and holding his hand, no one panicked.

She'd asked Eddie if he wanted a disguise too, but he'd decided he'd go as a broke reporter with a parasite in his body and a girlfriend way too good for him. To silence him, she kissed him, and immediately Venom demanded for a kiss too.

Even though he kept saying that he and Eddie were sharing a body, and therefore everything, he didn't like being left out, with his jealous and angry temper, like a child.

Unfortunately for him, he was not a child, and the owner of the first house they visited noticed this very well.

           "... You're a little old for candy hunting, aren't you ?"

           "There is no age to love sweets !" Venom replied proudly.

           "Maybe. But my sweets are for kids. I've got an apple for you, if you want."

           "... An apple? I'm going to eat your head !"

           "He's joking !" Y/N immediately intervened, pulling him as far as possible from the old man. "Come on, V, we'll find candy somewhere else."

But despite all their attempts, no house agreed to offer candies to the alien, even if they all found that his costume was very successful.

Depressed, Venom wanted to go home, since he had no right to bite off the heads of the bad guys who had ruined his night, nor of the children who had been allowed to have sweets.

           "It is unfair."

           "It's true." Eddie sighed, patting him on the head. "But, you know, if you look in the cupboard, under the fruits, maybe you'll find something."

           "... Do not make fun of me."

           "Look."

Knowing that the alien hated fruit, and guessing that there was a chance the candy hunt would go wrong; Eddie had managed to buy several candies and hide them, just in case.

Upon discovering this little treasure, Venom let out a cry of joy, turning back to his host and quickly coming back to him to bang his head against his.

           "Thank you, Eddie ! Thank you !"

           "Ow ! I already told you that's not how you show affection. It's a cat thing !"

           "I..." Y/N whispered. "I also anticipated that things would not go as planned and... I have chocolate, hidden in the bathroom."

           "It really is my evening ! The most beautiful evening !"

           "It's a night like any other, when you are annoying and eating too much, except you were able to go out for a few hours without anyone trying to kill us."

           "Yes. Being myself, close to you and holding hands with our little morsel. The best night."

Leaving him to savour his sweets, Eddie and Venom sat together on the sofa, thinking he was right and that tonight was truly perfect.

[anxiousheart7]

*spoilers* Astarion’s story - analysis and thoughts

I’ve been thinking quite a lot on Astarion the last couple of weeks, and the journey I’ve been on with him. I’ve seen a lot of content about him.

I’ll start by saying this - I didn’t ascend him. I couldn’t. I did, however, watch the ascension on YouTube but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I’m going to explain why.

Here’s the TL:DR version, with my deeper dive below.

As Astarion gets his revenge in Cazador, his flurry of knives felt oddly satisfying to me. It was a release as grim and cathartic. That cry of pain and ending felt necessary for him. I came out of that palace knowing that it was ok and he’d be ok.

The ascension felt gratuitous. Watching him carve exactly what Cazador put him through should have been cathartic too, but it wasn’t. I just felt a shiver of cold. And that was the moment I knew it was the ‘bad’ ending.

Experiencing Astarion’s Journey - delving deeper

I don’t think I’ve ever quite experienced a character story like his before. Here’s someone who is quite clearly designed to draw you in via the usual routes. He’s attractive, he’s got the funny lines. He’s the rogue - a lot of D&D players’ favourite class. He quickly becomes indispensable.

At the start, his flirting was fun. Act 1 I think is supposed to be a light hearted toe in the water, so to speak. Right up until your first major choice with the goblin vs tiefling conflict. Then it becomes real. But until then you can spend copious amounts of time wandering and chatting to your new friends in camp while some of them (namely Lae’zel, Gale, Karlach and Astarion) go straight to ‘i want you’ territory. And you’ll gravitate to those that are ready to get hot and heavy because…video game sex.

There was such a focus on romancing your camp and you lean into that so heavily in act 1. Approval is all-important. And his approval is harder to get, so you try harder with your choices. You want this guy. Like really want him. He’s like ambrosia. And, if you’re not one of the 100k rejections toted in Larion’s infographic, you get him.

As a recovering people pleaser, I’m not going to lie, that was a hard concept to grasp. To make your choices based on who you were trying to impress is exactly the kind of behaviour I’ve been trying to step away from in real life. But hey, this is a game so I’ll be ok.

And then it starts…

Looking back, there’s this line that stood out ‘it felt like you weren’t all there’. Despite his insistence later, Astarion was very likely going to that place of dissociation that he talks about later on. And that’s sad, because as Tav you want this milestone to be special. You want them to fall in love with you. The reward for all your hard-earned approval hiking.

But Astarion masks. He masks well, but you can tell on Insight that it’s all an act. Even when you look closely, the ham fisted complements he throws at you reflects the 10 charisma he’s carrying around. He works as a lothario not because he’s an adept silver-tongued Casanova. It’s because he’s simply beautiful. People see him and want him. His looks mask what’s going on underneath. But then you look into his eyes and it’s right there, plain as day.

There’s so much more underneath. I have watched the scene over and over with the hammy chat up lines as he’s trying to convince you to sleep with him again (I got propositioned first before the tiefling party) and the more I watch, the more I believe that ‘I love you’ wasn’t an act. They wouldn’t have given you three brush off comment choices if it was. He meant that, and I don’t think he even realised he meant it until he found the words coming out of his mouth - as though he was daring himself to say it.

With Astarion, it’s all in the eyes.

And, as someone who has seen those eyes in the mirror on a pretty regular basis, I knew there and then until he started revealing his backstory - the scars, the master and all the rest, I knew this was going to hit very hard and this man was a deep well. He was so lost that he barely had any idea of who he was any more.

By the time you’re well into Act 2, you’re starting to get the gist of him. You learn about his sadness and sense of loss around his identity before he was turned. You learn about the scars. And you learn about Cazador. I got the sense that all of this exposition was almost like a therapy dump from him. Thoughts and feelings he’s wanted to express for decades but hasn’t had a soul to tell - or he’s been compelled not to by his master. Now he can get them out. He can voice how unfair and unjust it feels. The sarcasm, the cynicism, all a way of expressing how much pain he is in. But one thing he’s never lost is the knowledge that he doesn’t deserve this. He hasn’t been beaten down so much to believe that he is unworthy of better treatment. And that sense of self is what I believe has kept him going all this time. He knows it wasn’t his fault. He knows Cazador was a cruel, sadistic monster.

And I hugged him. Of course I hugged him. I defended his autonomy from the moonrise drow and I hugged him after. At this point I’d fallen as hard for him as he had for me. I cared for him. I couldn’t make any of those obviously awful choices with him. When the details of the ritual came up I felt a knot in my stomach. And sure enough every time we talked after that point he talked about taking that power and I thought ‘this will be rough’.

It reminded me of a lot of really bad experiences I’d had in the past. Boyfriends and friends who were clearly bad for me and I was bad for them. And yet, I needed to help this guy. This person who had nobody for so long. Who didn’t know what it felt like to have someone actually care about him.

I looked this as someone who has experienced trauma in their life. How would I feel. How have I felt? To be scared of so many things. To wonder why on earth would I do something nice for someone else when I’ve sat in alleys, starving and in pain while people just walk on by. No gods to answer my pleas for help. I’d be cynical and disapproving too. I’d have a warped sense of humour. I’d want to never feel that again. Of course he saw the one thing that could protect him and feel compelled to grasp it with both hands.

Astarion has conjured up feelings in me I thought were long gone.

Astarion’s finale

The images I’ve included in this post have been doing the rounds on tumblr and this hits so hard it hurts. Astarion’s journey ends in such as way that it’s meant to be hard.

If you’re a gamer that commodifies your characters as a series of stats or objectifies them based on their design, then ascend him. It doesn’t matter to you. And I’ve seen plenty of people on message boards and Facebook saying exactly that - “but he gets these powers and is so badass”. They’ve never seen past the facade. He was a jerk at the start of the game, a creepy flirt and a vampire ready to be staked. And that was it.

Every excessive power in this game has a major consequence that you have to live with. This choice I think is one of the biggest before the climax of the game.

The ascension pretty much erases him. It takes who he was and the healing that he’s done and throws it away, as if it never really mattered.

And to him he’s worth exactly what he thought he was to begin with. His self-worth is warped into superiority and his hunger and fear replaced with a hunger for power and dominance. He’s not free in this form. He just becomes a new kind of imprisoned. He’s placed in stasis forevermore. And this won’t last forever because as absolute power corrupts absolutely, it also falls. Just like Ozymandius, he’ll rise and collapse under his own grandiose. And he’ll take you with him if you let him.

That steamy scene before he turns you is basically exactly what the Larion writer is saying - you’ve not empathised or grown here. Have your sex scene and then enjoy your eternal enslavement with New Cazador. It’s a bad ending for you and Astarion. You get to be exactly what he was, no matter what pretty words he tried to convince you with - he’s still that 10 charisma trying to convince himself as much as you. He’s Act 1 Astarion with some nifty new powers. He will control you like a doll and yours will be the same half life his was. He’ll start with promises of being his right hand, but somewhere down the line you’ll do or say something and he’ll do to you what was done to him. It’s the ultimate narcissistic relationship.

If Astarion walks away, he’s him. Truly him. With purpose and a new path to walk. You can build a new life together with nothing holding you back. The trauma behind him, he can now walk a path of healing for himself and learn who he is. It makes me feel hopeful and joyful that he gets a second chance.

And that’s where I’m at. My ideal ending is for them both to go off together searching for a cure for his vampirism. Whether it’s possible, who knows - on writing this I’m still to finish my first run of the game. But at least there’s that glimmer of hope in that ending.

I think Astarion is beautiful. There’s a reason half the internet is madly in love with him right now. But if you let yourself, he becomes more than a nice body and a pretty face. His complexity opens up like a puzzle box and you feel the satisfaction of a truly beautiful arc come to its climax. He’s a beautifully written and crafted character and I’m so glad to have experienced his story.

I could say so much more…but it’s long enough as it is. Thanks for reading x

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for using racism to get away from the dude crushing on me?

This happened last year, but my friend group still tells me it was a messed up thing to do and part of me agrees with them, while the other part doesn’t know what else I could have done.

I (F17, white) have always been the quiet, weird, fat girl in school. I have never dated, even though people would regularly ask me out as a dare, or do the whole “my friend has a crush on you” thing to embarrass their friends. I got used to the idea that no one would ever really wanna date me, at least not in high school, and that anyone who asked me out was trying to trick me. But that was fine, I’m content with the friends I’ve made of my fellow social rejects and weirdos.

Last year a guy (black, M17 at the time) joined our friend group and started coming to anime club with us. He was quiet and weird, but then again we all were, so I was nice to him and assumed he’d open up when he was comfortable. And he did start opening up, but I went from thinking he was just shy to having a weird feeling about him. Like, no guys have ever been into me enough for me to develop a creep meter, but when I described the feeling I got when he would just quietly stare at me from across the room to my female friends they said “girl, that’s your creep meter going off”.

He would just silently stare at me for hours, if no one interrupted him. At my chest, my feet, and my crotch specifically. One day he told me he was in love with me. Not liked me, not had a crush on me, he was in love with me. And he wanted my phone number. Of course I was uncomfortable, and didn’t believe for a second he really liked me. No one likes me. They just pretend to because it’s funny. I politely told him I was only interested in being friends, and he just said “ok” and asked for my phone number again. I gave it to him because I didn’t know how to politely say no to that, and asked him to wait till the weekend to text me because my dad doesn’t like me texting on school nights (a lie, I just wanted to mentally prepare myself for texting with him). He said ok.

I was still riding the bus home when he started blowing up my phone with texts. Nothing heinous, just telling me I was pretty and asking about school and anime. I ignored him, and he started calling instead. I had to turn my phone off because I was starting to panic after 20 texts and 7 calls.

The next day a couple of my friends asked why I didn’t text them back and I told them I had to turn my phone off because he didn’t listen when I asked him to wait before contacting me, and they told me some disturbing rumors about him. That he has a fetish for fat girls. That he’s on probation for stalking and harassment. That he had to leave his last school because a girl got a restraining order. That I’m not the first girl he’s done this to at our school either. I followed up on that last one and got confirmation there: two other girls in my school told me he had come on to them too, and only because they were fat. I immediately blocked his number and stopped going to anime club and avoided him in the halls.

But even with me going out of my way to not see him he would still pop up. He would be waiting outside my classroom to talk to me. He would sit with me at lunch. He even got transferred to my chorus class (I have no way of confirming if he did that on purpose or not). He kept asking why I wasn’t texting him back or answering his calls, (because I had blocked him), I said I’m just shy talking on the phone. He asked why I took a different route to class everyday (because I was trying to avoid him), I just said I liked exploring the school.

I tried asking him, politely, to tone his behavior down some because he was scaring me. Nothing changed. I flat out reminded him I already said I wasn’t interested in him. Nothing changed. I told him truthfully that I wasn’t getting his dozens of calls and messages because it was too much and I blocked his number, and he started texting me from a different number instead. I told a teacher and he said he just wanted to be my friend. I told the guidance counselor and she said she would talk to him, but he didn’t stop.

So finally one day, at the end of my rope, I told him I told my racist dad he was harassing me. That’s all. That my dad was racist, and would never accept me dating a black boy, and that I told my dad he wouldn’t leave me alone. He immediately backed off and, as far as I know, moved on to another girl.

Most of my friends were there to watch him hang around me like a lost puppy and stare at me inappropriately, so they don’t blame me for wanting to get away from him. But they also say it was a dick move to bring racism into it. I think they may be right, but I sincerely couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of him myself. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

To the SPN fans that are hating on good omens rn bc of the leak, I hope you choke. I've seen some really nasty shit today from some of my (now unfollowed) followers whom I followed for spn content. So let's make one thing clear from actual posts ive seen today:

-Saying that the "wrong angels kissed", is...homophobic. I was with destiel from beginning to end and yeah we were completely shafted, but it's not okay to then say that other gay couples in media aren't allowed to kiss just because they aren't the ones you thought were hot. Jesus christ didn't think I needed to write that one down for ya-bo burnham

-I saw so much fatphobia about how Castiel deserved a kiss more than Aziraphel bc "he has far more sex appeal." Wtf wtf wtf. How do you live with yourselves saying that shit?You can pry Micheal Sheens body type Aziraphel out of my cold dead hands, you CW brainwashed morons!

-hate against the author for some reason, no one is willing to give specifics about it, but I think the majority of them maintain that GO is not good rep because they didn't kiss and now they are claiming pandering or something? Honestly that guy has only ever stood with the writers guild and queer people his whole career from what I find so I don't think it's fair whatever hate they are spouting. He isnt even saying he is upset with fans that saw or shared the video. Hes being super nice about it!

-I will say, non of us SPN fans have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to hating something bc of the authors, OK. I saw someone saying the writing for spn was better and I can say you did not watch the show. I loved spn but don't do the late Terry Pratchett like this. He did nothing wrong

-on that same ish strain, as an ace person who thrives off queerplatonic relationships in media, maybe they kiss, I dunno. I just have to wait until the season comes out. Not 1 SPN fan gets to bitch about GO asexualty rep when SPN never even tried that route with any of its characters. But also ace characters are allowed to kiss, so you can write them that way of you want and interpret them that way if you want still. This is your viewing experience.

-this leak is truly not the same as the SPN yo a ti leak, solely bc the episode hasn't aired yet. "None of you GO fans would have survived the yo a ti leak." No I think you wouldn't bc the spn leak was clinging to an already mangled straw, while the angel's in GO are queer already. Queer queer queer and no amount of kissing or lack thereof is going to change that. We have no idea what happens in that episode of GO, but we saw the creators butcher the only moment in the show that could have meant anything real for queer viewers in SPN.

-"SPN crowly was kissing dudes first so this one is not that impressive". I see two cakes. One was made with the intent to make gay people look evil, but over time got kinda funny and a little better bc gay people liked it, and the other was about telling an interesting story about how love is so important, especially at the end of the world, and gay people liked that one too! So for me it's YaY two cakes!

-again the anti aziraphel is so plainly just fatphobia. You have no excuses. Sorry you don't think someone who looks like a slightly chubby micheal sheen could ever get kissed by someone who looks like David tennant, but you are not only wrong, you are also childish.

OK I'm done. Go watch good omens s2 when it comes out for my fucking sanity please. Or don't if all you are going to do is try to rip it apart like you do to all media that tries to be better.

[bluerosefox]

Bio!Dad Jason and Bio!Mom Jazz (With Oc!Kid or Kid!Danny)

I really, really wanna write a bio!dad Jason story but I should really finish the Twins au first. So I'm gonna be very brief with it before I get sucked into a ramble (it didnt work, I rambled.)

It's a little out of left field due to how much an AU it gets but like hear me out.

Bio!dad Jason (who finished High School and starts going to community college in Gotham)

Bio!mom Jazz (whose going to a fancy college in Gotham for psychology)

They talk, click with each other, date, sleep with each other. Etc. But due to Jason's night life, and Jazz wanting to pretend nothing was weird about Jason (she wants something normal) they break up not to long after. She returns back to Amity Park for summer and finds out she's pregnant, tries to call Jason but his phones been disconnected. Some intense Red Hood things went down and he had to put himself into hiding. He thought he'll see her again for the next school year but she never came back.

(Due to Jason having been dead and Jazz being exposed to ectoplasm all her life they both kinda seek each other out in the city)

Or they meet in High School, before Jason dies, due to an exchange program. They meet, find things in common, debate over Jane Austin works, fall for each other as their frists, and be dumb kids in a big city one night when Jazz tells him she has to go back to Amity soon (aka going out, drink a few drinks, slept with each other)

(Due to Jazz exposure to ectoplasm and something in Jason's bloodline (before death) that let him come back from the dead they were both drawn to each other in ways they couldn't explain.)

She goes home, they keep in contact for a few weeks before it suddenly stops. Jazz finds out she pregnant not long after, she didnt think she was pregnant for a while due to cycle always being off due to ectoplasm exposure. Tries to contact Jason but no luck. During her pregnancy she tries a more few times but when news announced Jason Todd Wayne's death she is hurt and devastated (she knows Jason's wishes, they spoke about maybe a future one night cuddled together after reading books, to be a better man than his birth father ever was if he had kids). She tries getting into contact with Bruce but due to his own grief he refuses to speak with her until she gets a cease and desist.

She gives birth to their kid. And sends one last update, she's been using his old email address as a diary/emotional support for her grief, telling Jason about their kid. How much they look like him. How she wishes he'd be there to see them grow up. She finishes high school even while pregnant (if anyone can do it, it's Jazz) and goes to a college for psychology while taking care of her kid. (She tries not to leave her kid with her parents for too long, she loves them but she knows how they are)

Few years later, Jazz and her kid return to Gotham under fake names, hiding from her parents. Due to both Jason and Jazz's unique blood work their kid is very... ghostly so to speak and Jazz had found her parents trying to experiment on her kid after they saw them using ghost powers. Needless to say she got them out and ran. Jason has no clue they're in the city until he saves them one night from a mugging... and that same phantom call of otherworldly hits them and their kid hard.

Now as for Danny in this, he could be the cool uncle that's been teaching his nephew/niece how to control their powers, also helped them escape from Jack and Maddie and is keeping them off Jazz and her kids heels. And he totally punches Jason when he meets the guy who got his sister pregnant and ghosted her.

OR

DANNY IS THEIR KID. Either one works. :]

Danny being Jason's son, Danny being Jazz's son! If we go this route we can have Sam and Tucker keeping the elder Fentons off their tail cause Jazz tutored them in exchange for babysitting Danny, whom they both liked cause he was a funny kid and saw his powers a few times. (Sam always fighting for peoples/animal rights against discrimination and Tucker emotionally seeing Danny as his nephew and both were angry that the Fentons tried to hurt this kid for being partly Ghostly)

Jason finding out about the kid being ghostly and about Jazz trying to contact him after finally logging into his old email (he's pissed at Bruce when he finds out everything), Bruce FINDING OUT he's got a grandson and missed out on being a granddad for so long due to him not wanting face the person who made Jason smile so much before his death, Dick and Danny being punny with each other, Danny asking Tim about the stars cause he's been to space before and asking if he could teach him how to skateboard (he also tries to steal Tim’s teenage year clothes cause I feel like his and Danny’s taste are very close out of them all), Damian and Danny bonding over Cujo who followed Jazz and him from Amity Park! (Damian totally does the, "I've had Danny for a few hours, if anything happens to him I'll end everyone in this room. Then myself." After a few hours) Little Danny bonding with Alfred at every chance! Danny taking naps with Cass and trying to copy her silent movements! Having fun with Steph! Bonding with Duke for being the only super powered batfam!

.... then Vlad comes looking for Jazz and Danny/her kid cause Jack and Maddie told him about what happened and he has plans to take the young halfa and raise him as his evil heir. Cause you know, he's an old fruitloop that wants an heir just like him.. the Batfam won't be happy about that though.

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

Road Trip with Rhys and Finn Darby

At 49, New Zealand comedian Rhys Darby says he's finally found the confidence to be a leading man.

He joins Summer Times for a road trip with his son Finn.

The Route? Auckland to Nelson. The passengers? Marcel Marceau and Marcel Duchamp. The vehicle? A 1984 Land Rover.

Music comes courtesy of Finn’s indie-folk-rock band Great Big Cow.

Rhys Darby filming the TV show Our Flag Means Death at Bethells Beach (Te Henga) Photo: Samba Schutte

(click below to listen the audio)

Now based in Los Angeles, Rhys has fond memories of childhood roadies with his mum.

“We went from Pakuranga to Orewa which was lovely. We stayed in a camping ground, and I fondly remember that one because I saw a ghost and saw some big footprints on the beach.

“Bigfoot…turns out was just a big man's foot I think, but you know, when you're young.”

Last year, Darby returned home to Aotearoa to film the second season of the HBO Max series Our Flag Means Death*.

“We were in New Zealand during the rainy season, which could be any time really, last year making that.

“And it was really special because we got to be home. The first year, the first season, we were here in Los Angeles. I was 15 minutes from my house. And that was cool and then the whole show got moved to New Zealand, which was … it's a plus and minus on my account because obviously, I'll leave these guys, but I get to go to the old home.

“And it was really fantastic. Working with the New Zealand crew and just having more New Zealanders in the cast, as well. It's very Aotearoa-heavy season two. So yeah, I'm really proud of it.”

New Zealand comedian Rhys Darby hosting the 2023 International Emmy Awards Photo: chaoticmulaney

In something of a career pivot, Darby also hosted the International Emmy Awards last November.

“It was amazing because I thought 'It's not my bag. I'm not a host, I'm not a jokes guy. And I also don't kind of like rib people, my humour is very optimistic and fun. It's not like the kind of thing Ricky Gervais does where you bring people down to make light of things.

“So when they asked me I was like 'I don't know, what I'm gonna do?' I was picked because it's international and because I can do physical comedy as well. So, I wrote this monologue and also involved a lot of funny walks and some physical stuff. They worked out really well and I had so much praise from the audience and from the producers saying that was one of the best hosts have ever had.

“Because with a strict English-speaking person who's just doing quick gags, half the audience, it just goes over the head. So, what I offered was something that I guess they had more universal appeal.”

Darby currently has a number of films in the pipeline in which he takes a leading role.

“Thanks to Our Flag Means Death I've kind of proven to myself, and hopefully the world, that I can front something.

“So I want to do more like that. I want to do movies, I want to star in a film. I'm writing a screenplay this year. And I'm also involved in about three movie projects that are likely to come together this year, and which have me leading them.

“I've been a character actor for so long, and I've popped up in many, many things in small parts here and there, where I've made everyone laugh, and then I run away.

“But it's taking that next step of going, OK, imagine watching me for an hour and a half, letting me lead you down this track and have the confidence that now finally, at the ripe old age of 49, I think I can do that.”

*Max has announced that it will not be making a third season of Our Flag Means Death

Songs played:

'Iguana Love' by Great Big Cow

'Captain Boyfriend' by Great Big Cow

'The Last Song' by Great Big Cow

Source: RNZ

[milksteaki]

Your HC on Brick and Bubbles? <3 what is their relationship like? And most especially why do you ship them ?

RAAAAAAAAH!!!! omg, I've been waiting for an ask like a lil puppy!!!! OMG I LOVE THIS QUESTIONNNNNNN! Okay, headcanons on the Puppy Love ship, let's go!!!

this one's a long one

So first, a rundown on my headcanons for Brick and Bubbles:

Bubbles first. I think Bubbles has a much more mature outlook on good and bad than her sisters do. Don't let her ditzy attitude fool you. Bubbles sometimes she is less smart than she actually is just for jokes. "Okay, but why did I think that bush was actually the Professor but in drag". But really, she understands the moral grey that the world actually is. Life isn't just Good vs. Bad, and Bubbles knows that and lets that insight inform all of her superhero fights.

She never stops being sensitive, and instead of going with the "this hardens her later in life route", I went with the "she is actually more frustrated with her inability to harden" route. She wants to be tough and unfeeling often, especially because the emotions she feels continue to be strong and intense and absolutely devastating. Unfortunately, she just can't stop the intensity. Maybe it's because when she feels happy, she feels that joy so intensely, that it's like, why would she want to harden? Like such intense happiness that she looks back at the sadness cringing. As if she can't imagine being that sad. But of course, the sadness always comes back. I never really liked it when people took away her joy as she got older and acted like that was just a normal part of life. Like as an adult myself, sure I'm not as carefree and as hyper as I was when I was a kid, but I would still be considered a bubbly person now even though my life isn't that great. And don't think shitty things just never happened to me either.

Brick, on the other hand, is a hard cynic who hates everything except maybe himself. He is mostly stupid, but he thinks he's the smartest guy in the room. And he hates when people point out when he's wrong (which is why he hates most people, except for his yes-man Butch). I say mostly because the bitch can't spell and he just be spewing bullshit sometimes. But smart in other ways; he is resourceful, keeps up with the news, is somehow in the know for a lot of things, is quick-witted, and is great at improvising whether it's with fighting or in day-to-day life. These skills often save him from ever going to jail.

Also, I HC that Brick essentially emancipates himself AND his brothers from their dads without really asking his bros. His thought was that his dads are just- way too much. And because of his personality, he just hates having to report to an authority above him, like get off my back old man! He essentially raises his brothers, including influencing their humor, music, and values. Part of his relationship with his brothers is an ego thing. He loves being the leader and using his brothers to make himself look better. But another part of it is that he genuinely loves his brothers. And he realizes this way too late (realized when his bros were moving on from needing him). And it fucks him up. And that pushes him to be a better person actually.

OK SO THE RELATIONSHIP:

I FUCKING LOVE THEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP MAN. Like listen, as much as I love to shit on Brick, he is still a suave dude. Like the dude knows how to flirt and he's super quick with it, just great timing with shit. Sometimes it genuinely creates butterflies in Bubbles' stomach, other times she lets it completely go over her head. One, because it's funny, and two, because she kinda wants to be unassuming sometimes:

"So do you just jump around often, or are you just happy to see me"

"Oh I'm just giddy because Fruits Basket is FINALLY rebooting after like a million years, but it's nice seeing you to Brick :)."

"Oh... Fruits Basket."

Bubbles isn't a master of flirting, but people fall in love with her constantly. Like Bubbles so so SO effortlessly gets people to love her and she doesn't need to be perfect like Blossom or a badass like Buttercup. She is just so endearing and fun to be around that she attracts people with ease. Brick is just another guy who likes her basically. So he needs to work to prove to her that he is the one, and not those other nobodies.

And because of his cynical nature, he expects that the longer he knows her, he's going to uncover just the underlying sinister nature behind her bubbly persona, but he never does. Bubbles is through and through a good person who is mostly consistent in her philosophies and is just a genuinely sincere person. And she works hard to be good and she sticks by it. Brick respects the consistency and standing up for her shit. Bubbles is one of the few people who convinces Brick's stubborn mind. And it's not because of her feminine wiles, but rather because Bubbles' consistency to be good and the merit to her nuanced arguments are what gets through to him. Bubbles is also a great person to concede to because she will NEVER make you feel bad for losing an argument to her. She makes him feel heard and understood before she disagrees. So when they fight, they often deescalate it before it escalates much. Really the issue for them is how fucking long it takes for Brick to finally be ready for being in a relationship with Bubbles. But when they do, it is really nice.

I see them as huuuuge tumblr-fandom nerds. They both have had homestuck phases that they try to forget. Brick will interpret characters in veeery particular ways and gets pretty peeved about different interpretations. Bubbles is that super open-minded person who is so kind and carefree that honestly you don't mind that some of their interpretations are absolutely heinous. Bubbles (pre-relationship) would also constantly compare him and her with other characters with culpable romantic tension and that imports thoughts into Brick's head.

Once Bubbles likes someone, she is like suuuuper romantic. Doodling hearts next to Brick's name. Doodling his face everywhere. Capturing a unique beauty in odd profiles of Brick's. And like just imagine Brick sees them. These aren't idealizing him or making him look like a model, but rather capture the flaws and make them beautiful in an artistic and vulnerable way. Maybe at first Brick is like caught back, like smug, like haha ur drawing me so u liiiike me, but then he's like hold on, these are like, really good. See I am also a sucker for Brick enjoying art. The portraits would evoke something in him, he'd feel the intimacy of being drawn in such a loving way. (or maybe I'm just being self indulgent haha).

Brick and Bubbles go out a lot. Brick always takes her to secret spots, and somehow he always knows where the best Italian or the best Chinese food is, and they're always these underground spots. They are also both social butterflies and will often make conversation with strangers. They meet people who are complete characters and it makes for great stories. Entertainment for Brick and new friends for Bubbles! Another thing, Bubbles and Brick are just pretty funny together. Like Bubbles is so fucking silly and Brick is silly but in a very different way. Sometimes Brick is Bubbles' straightman and other times Bubbles is his.

Running on fumes,,, why I ship it:

Because I ship Blossutch and Boomercup,,,jk kinda. Honestly, I blame the Bubble Boy episode. From how Bubbles was able to decieve them so long, only to blow her cover by doing something so hardcore that even Boomer wouldn't do it? That earned Brick's respect for sure. AND THE FACT BUTCH THREW UP??? SCAB BOY???? Yeah, that surely got her brownie points. So from this, I created the headcanon that Brick holds some respect for her and genuinely refuses to underestimate her because shit was fucking metal. And Bubbles is CONSTANTLY underestimated by everybody else (see the fucking Hardcore episode) and she faces this obstacle all the time especially because of my body headcanons (short and a lil chubby). So when a guy like Brick actually sees her as a fucking threat, it feels nice. And they're funny together. Big plus.

[pandorahex]

The Sorceress

by Pandora Hex

This story got away from Me a little bit, in the best way possible. In many ways, it's taken Me just over 33 years to write - I hope it's good. It's not as erotic as I usually write here, but there are times you'll get glimpses of sensuality.

Content warnings for cult mentions, emotional abuse, allusions to hypnotic abuse, depression, transgender themes, emotions.

⚝⚝⚝⚝⚝⚝

This is a story about a wicked sorceress, the hearts she stole, and the challenges she met along the way.

It’s got heartbreak, tragedy, loss and betrayal. Deception, too.

But it also has happiness. It’s got joy and passion and love. So much love, you wouldn’t believe it.

For a long time, the sorceress didn’t know her destiny. She didn’t know about the spark of magic, or about her own pleasure. She was ordinary, and she spent a lot of time forcing that to be true.

But magic isn’t easily contained. It sneaks out, in little ways.

Consider that young boy. It started with stories. Juvenile at first as you’d expect, knights and dragons, a childhood home exaggerated to be a mansion… no, a castle… no, a glorious palace!

He’d always scowl when he got carried away like that. No, he was nothing special.

He’s a little older now. He hasn’t written a story in years, ever since he shared the one about a princess fighting a vampire king and later found it in the bin.

He fits in, likes normal things, he has friends; he’s happy.

But that’s not really true, is it?

In an entirely different realm, the sorceress weaves her words into the threads of every discussion she comes across. Flitting from place to place, enchanting with her voice and her presence, and knowing with absolute certainty that this is what she was made for.

He logs off and ignores the hole in his heart. He has martial arts practice, he agreed to go to a birthday party for somebody he barely knows, he has a paper route to do, and he lies about how much he makes so he can spend the extra on…

The sorceress gasped when she first saw herself. The wig was terrible, the dress from the back of a wardrobe, out of style years ago.

But none of that mattered. The spark of magic ignited, and there was plenty of fantasy and imagination to kindle the flame.

“I wish you’d let me cut your hair.”

He was a bit too old for a paper route now, and the kind of wigs she wanted were getting a bit pricy. Why not just grow it? And it suited her.

“People are going to think you’re a girl.”

A lump in his throat. They won’t.

He was doing great. Top of his class, even a little popular, in the way that some nerdy boys could still pull off. He just knew the right things to say, how to present himself. The mask never slipped.

He skipped every swimming lesson, and wrote stories in detention.

She’s smiling behind the darkness in his head. If he’s popular at school, they love her even more in that other world.

The sorceress, who dazzles them with descriptions of incandescent magic, of subtle invocation, of the passion and excitement in her heart.

It’ll be years before she understands what those compliments really meant. What they thought she was. He talks to a guy on a school trip, and they sneak off to the bathrooms.

She asks him to call her a good girl, but quickly corrects himself in the momentary confusion.

People look at him a little funny after that, but not for too long. And he hardly cares anymore. She’s happier in the other world. Where she can talk now about everything that’s happening to her, she’s been granted access to those circles which tantalised her for so long.

But she’d already had glimpses of it, in private conversations, in that bathroom on the school trip. It had been calling her name, even if she didn’t have a real one yet.

It was, frankly, hypnotic.

He was independent now, full of shame. This wasn’t how a man was supposed to be. He shouldn’t be craving the things he was craving. And he should be going to his classes. Why couldn’t he make himself go? A year sped by. Failed out on the final exam by one point.

He’d wasted so much time on fantasy. It was her fault. He cut her hair, he threw away her clothes and she wept with every knife he stabbed into his own heart.

He logged on this time, he was in that other realm. It felt.. familiar and different at the same time. He made new friends, found a new home. And after a while, he found something incredible.

A soft, fluffy, white pup. With the bluest eyes, pretty round face.

They talked every day. They spent every hour playing games and watching robots fight, roleplaying and falling in love.

On their first date, the pupy wore the gothiest, laciest dress he’d ever seen. He got to find out, on the back of a bus, that she wasn’t wearing underwear.

He had a good life. He’d thrown everything that reminded him of the sorceress away and didn’t think about it much. Snatched moments in B&Bs, hotels, rented apartments. He was happy and comfortably ordinary.

She hadn’t cut her hair again though. It grew back fast.

He had no idea where it came from. It was a night like any other, he was playing with his pup. Completely from nowhere, the magic flared into life again. There she was, in all her glory, all curves and happiness, in a sleek red swimsuit.

Her pup was the most loyal, most loving, kindest and devoted pet a woman could hope for. Their bond only grew stronger after that moment. She explored more, became the woman she really was.

She didn’t know she’d done it at the time, but this was the first captured heart, treasured and held close.

We used the word before: hypnotic.

It had always been part of her fantasies, but here she was, using her voice and her words to enchant people, to let them enchant her.

To let them tell her to do things. Think things. To ignore some things. Oh dear.

Doing what Crimson said was bad. But it felt good. Until it didn’t feel good anymore. She had to get out. Her magic was stymied, for a while. But she’d found something else in that excitement, something truly important.

A smiling, confident, clockwork doll.

They escaped that cult. She still feels strange using that word. They found their own spaces for a while, the sorceress and the doll. Life went on. She got to be her own person again, always weaving in and out of tantalising scenes and situations.

The vampire was enticing. She had an energy, an allure the sorceress couldn’t help but desire. It was the vampire who invited the sorceress in, and they grew close.

But she didn’t understood her own magic properly. Not yet.

Maybe it was something left over from the cult. But it was her own fault. She hadn’t been able to see it. As much as hypnosis had given her, it was taking away from her too. She wasn’t seeing these precious gifts the way she ought to. She’d hurt people. Treated them wrong.

The scar still glows on her heart.

I promise you, dear reader, that there is a happy ending. But the next part might lead you to think that things couldn’t possibly have gotten better. I want you to bear in mind as you read, that the sorceress’ tale has many more chapters yet.

The vampire and her family cast the sorceress out. She sealed her magic, so she couldn't hurt anybody again. She cut her hair.

Her hair though. Nothing would ever take that away.

She spent her days in darkness and sadness, other than the brief windows with her loyal pup.

In one of these moments, curled up in sadness, the sorceress felt a presence, looked up and saw a hand, held out to her. A solid, ball-jointed hand.

The doll gave her a gift that has never faded. Hope, recovery. Maybe redemption.

And slowly, the magic began to burn again. Only embers; we remember that magic has a way of sneaking out. She began to share her hypnosis again. Carefully, deliberately.

Her doll always supporting, conditioned and brainwashed through passion and effort and love.

This time had been on purpose. Her second captured heart, treasured and held close.

The sorceress went through many changes in her time. She was slime, she was a robot, a kitten, a demonic force. But none of those masks fit better than the sorceress.

So she discarded the mask entirely, and found that what was left behind was Her.

She poured Her entire heart into Her new passion, and the magic only grew more incandescent, harnessed but all the more magnificent for being under Her control.

By chance, she met the vampire again. The vampire didn’t recognise Her, and once upon a time that would have been a relief. But the sorceress knew, and She spoke with Her doll. She laid her heart open for the vampire, admitted Her failings.

And they spoke for a long time.

They’re probably laughing and talking about kink even as you read this. The vampire gave Her forgiveness. The scar on Her heart has almost faded now.

She only continued to grow, more powerful. Happier, more passionate. Able to sprinkle in some of that spicy darkness now and then. You’re used to that though, by now.

She was even able to find time to be normal. But even then, She was Herself.

She tried streaming. She’d loved streaming, years before, hours and hours spent with Her pup, laughing and loving and making fun of games. But somehow, they hadn’t had time for it for a while.

She started checking out other people’s streams too.

And one day, as if She’d slipped down a secret tunnel into a world she hadn't found before, She found the funniest woman She’d ever met. Her laugh still echos in the sorceress’ heart to this very day, and She's blessed with her light every day. But we're jumping ahead.

They laughed, made crude jokes, talked about their lives. They laughed about how they each thought the other was "The Cool One". They laughed about their shared tastes and they laughed about whatever they could find to laugh about. Before long, those laughs were moans.

And in very little time at all, the sorceress crafted the funniest woman in the world a set of wings, and showed her how to fly. Another blazing bond of love, touched as always with a delightful helping of brainwashing and conditioning.

Love blossoming more all the time. A third captured heart, treasured and held close.

She's captured lots of hearts now, though briefly, always giving them a touch of affection before handing them back. This story doesn't tell you about those who were in Her orbit only for a little while, taken away by chance, choice or fate.

And it doesn't tell you about the hearts She has yet to capture, or might be in the process of capturing right now. In many ways, this isn't really a story. It's only Chapter One.

So I won't say The End… but this is an ending. I hope it's a happy one.

Thank you for getting this far, My dear reader. A good story should always end with hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, for laughs and loves that will lift you up. I'm supported by so many who lift Me up every day, and I strive to lift them too.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, know only this: I am rooting for you. I know that no matter what pain is in your heart, no matter what evil lurks there or around you, you are worthwhile. Strive, and win.

With hope, Pandora Hex, Wordbender.

⚝⚝⚝⚝⚝⚝

[shatcey]

Alternative prologue IkeVamp

Picture

This is absolutely not canonical. MC is for sure. And I'm not entirely sure about some of the guys. Either I played their routes long time ago, or I don't really understand them. But I did my best.

At first, I start rewriting the entire prologue from the beginning. I don't like it for so many reasons… and finally find where to put this lovely thought of mine.

I turned around and saw a very unique looking man. Golden hair, golden eyes, golden clothes. I've never seen anything even remotely like this. It's like he's made entirely of gold… His name must be Mr. Gold!

But the more I did it, the more I realized that this is not what I wanna do. I had two small (were small at the beginning) scenes in my head, why should I write the rest?

So… here is my very odd version of the prologue after the introduction of the main characters. Everyone will be there except Jean. He didn't show up. What a shy boy!

It was supposed to be a joke. That's why I'm posting this on April 1st. I hope I'm not the only one who finds it funny. Enjoy.

Aproximatly 4500 words. Jeez how did it ended up that long?..

- So... Are you saying that you are all historical figures?

Comte smile one of his signature smile.

- That's correct.

- And how did you all end up in the same time period? I'm not a historian, but even I know that you are all from different times, even centuries?

- That's a really good question, Luv.

Arthur, sitting next to me, put his arm around my shoulders. I push his hand away.

- Mister, could you not touch me? I don't like strangers in my personal space.

The man blinked a couple of times, clearly pouting.

- But I'm not a stranger… I just introduced myself.

He smiles very charmingly, but that didn't change my opinion on the matter.

- That's right! We just met. So, you are a stranger to me.

Very naughty laugh from another side of the table.

- This Hondje is quite feisty.

I look at the smiling man and hold my gaze on him.

- I don't know what you call me, but something tells me that wasn't nice. So please refrain from that in the future.

Very gentle cough caught my attention.

- I have to apologize for my brother. He doesn't know how to behave with women.

I look at the angelic-looking man, and a smile somehow appears on my face.

- You don't have to apologize for him. He's not a child.

Vincent looked at Theo.

- Theo…

- No, no, no! You’ve got me wrong. I don't need he's apologies. I'd rather never talk to him.

-Ouch... that was harsh, Toshiko-san. You may have brought Theo-san to tears.…

The man sitting on the same side of the table as me... Dazai his name. I lean down to meet his gaze.

- Is this a local joke that I'm not aware of? Calling a new person by different names?

- I must apologize for my children. They are quite... unique…

I look at Comte and slowly observe all the people at the table.

- No offense, but how can they be your children if you all look the same age?

- That's another good question, Luv…

Arthur held out his hand to me, but stopped and took it away.

- Don't you like the food?

I thought my heart would definitely jump out of my chest. The voice came from right behind me. I turn around and meet Sebastian's gray eyes.

- Jeez... where did you come from?

- I've been standing behind you all this time... and you haven't even tried to eat...

- I’m… you are right…

I take a deep breath, calming my poor heart, and take a bite. Either I was very hungry, or it was the most delicious meal I've ever eaten.

A proud smile appears on the Conte's face

- Sebastian is the best cook. I still can't believe how lucky I was to get him.

- To get?

- He's just like you... human.

I was very unlucky that I took a bigger piece at that exact moment. But it instantly stuck in my throat. Don't try to think about it.… Just chew… I did as my brain said. I take a glass, presumably of water, and take a long sip before answering.

- That means... The rest of you are not human?

- Exactly.

I take another sip.

- Assuming it's possible… Who are you when?

- Vampires.

- Hmm.…

Ok. It's definitely not possible. I finally felt confident enough to look up, and realized that everyone was looking at me with a mixture of surprise and admiration.

- What?

- You're taking it better than we expected.

- Because it's an obvious lie.

- I assure you, it is not.

- Real vampires… I mean really existing vampires like bats or mosquitoes...they need a lot of blood. Like much more than their own weight.

- Really?

I bend down to meet a very surprised pink gaze. Isaac?

- You were so quiet, I even forgot you were here, cutie. But yes, it's true. Check on Google…

A very strange pause and suddenly...

- Did I hear her right? Did she just call Ai-san a cutie?

- Issak, you are blushing. Oh, she made old boy blush...

- Theo, what is Google?

- I don’t know. Most likely, something that we don't need.

- Who gave it its name? Goo goo... what is that?

- I guess you don't like the sound of it, Wolfie.

- Don't call me that! It's disgusting coming from you.

- So, in other words... you don't mind if someone else calls you that?

- Hahaha…

The last one was from Napoleon. I didn't hear him talking to anyone, but his laugh was something....

- I probably shouldn't have said that... - I mumble to myself.

Suddenly, the door opened and another man entered.

- I can't remember the last time we had such a lively dinner…

- Leonardo! -  Comte exclaims.

- Oh, we have a guest… Sorry for being late. Leonardo, Leonardo da Vinci.

- Aaaaaah. Another historical figure…

- …She didn't sound impressed...

- No offense, but I'm already meet a musician whose music increase brain activity.

- Wha?

- My favorite painter of all times.

- She just called…

- At least she has taste…

- And my childhood crush.

- What is “crush" mean? -  It was said in such a low voice that I couldn't make out who said it.

- Brief, but very strong, even obsessive love. Usually to a person who is out of reach.

- Thank you, Sebastian. That was very informative.

- Childhood? It could have been any of us. Well, probably not you, Dazai. No offense.

- He-he. Not taken. I would be very surprised if it was me.

- So... - I raise my voice - My point is... it's really hard to beat.

The man smiles and sits down next to Comte.

- She's very unusual…

- Actually, while my brain is still working... it's pretty noisy here… Before everything... started, I was trying to ask, who is donating blood to you?

- Oh, it's all legal. We have…

- No! I don't really care! I was asking, why is someone voluntarily giving you so much blood?

- But we don't need much.

- This is absurd!

- I like her more and more... Comte, why didn't you wake me up earlier?

- I was as mesmerised as you are right now…

- Stop it! Don't try to distract me!

- Am I really your favorite painter?

- What is the brain activity you were talking about?

- Who were your childhood crush? It's me, isn't it, Luv?

- Oh... I think I have a headache…

- Would it be better if we continued in my office?

- I don't know? Does this mean there will be less people?

- Absolutely!

The Comte gave me his usual encouraging smile, and I nodded.

(***)

Only Comte and Leonardo came with me to the office. At the very moment when we sit down at the table, Sebastian appears seemingly out of nowhere with a tray of tea.

- How does he do it?

- What are you talking about, ma chère?

- Don't mind me. This guy gets on my nerves.

- Just him? I thought all of us...

- All the others are just noisy, but this one is… creepy.

- Oh, poor Sebas, she really doesn't like you.

- I don't care what she thinks.

I'm glad to know that our dislike is mutual. A very noble cough attracts my attention.

- I know that all this information can be quite overwhelming.… Maybe you need some time…

- You said that I was stuck in this time for a month. What options do I have?

-  Cara mia...

- Don't use other languages. I think I'm very lucky to have learned one, and I'm pretty sure I'm not capable of more.

- You underestimate yourself.

- Maybe so. But just... don't do it!

- If you say so…

- Well, you can stay here with us, or I can rent you a house in the city. If it suits your tastes better.

- It's a little too much for a stranger. Maybe you have another house where there are less people?

- Don't you want to live with us? Why?

That voice was coming from outside the door. And it probably belonged to Vince.

- Perhaps they are children in secret?..

- I have my suspicions about this... - behind my back. I don't flinch this time. But it's still pretty scary when he does it…

- I have another house... but my eldest lives there…

- And who is this?

- William Shakespeare.

(pause)

- He probably writes all the time. He didn't even notice me there.…

- If you like writers... why don't you stay with me. I can please you much better than he can.

- What was the point of leaving the dining room at all?..

- Ahem... But you didn't say why you didn't want to stay with us, Cara...oh, sorry... old habits die hard.

- Well... unmarried women living with... how many of you are here... 9.. 10 men… It's really bad for my reputation. Not that it matters what people think of me at this time period, I will definitely leave this place in a month. But I still don't wanna feel hostile stares at me.

- There are 11 of us.

- What?

- You haven't met Jean yet.

- Whatever… And the second... which should probably be the first… You're vampires. So... Having a bag of warm, fresh blood nearby will be too tempting to ignore.

- Sebastian has been with us for a while, and no one has ever tried to bite him.

- No offense, Sebastian, but I don't want to bite you either.

- Do you have such desires often?

Pause…

- I don't want to answer that question.

- I understood your point. So... Let's go to William. I'll ask if he doesn't mind.…

(I cannot even read Old English, let alone write. So William will speak mostly normally)

We arrived at a very nice cottage a slightly outside the city. I was surprised to see a lot of flowers in the garden. Does he even have time to take care of them? I thought this guy couldn't think of anything but writing…

Comte knocked on the door, and a few moments later the door opened. We were met by a very strange man in obviously out of time clothes. His mismatched eyes widened in obvious surprise.

- Good Comte!

- Will, I apologize for the unannounced intrusion.

- Come in.

We entered the house, and I was immediately surprised to see how neatly it was decorated. So many details. Everything sparkles and shines like a jewelry shop, no less.

- Will… I know it's a little sudden.… But could this lady stay with you for a month?

The mismatched eyes look at me as if I'm not even a person, but an object. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the mansion after all.

- If this is that my sire wants.... I will gladly grant his wish.

- Thank you very much. I feel responsible for her well-being.

- It's not your fault, you know…

- Maybe so. But you ended up in this situation because I wasn't careful enough.

- Could you please explain to me what you are talking about.

- Oh, yes. This young lady is from the future. She noticed the door and went through it to this time.

- I thought it was impossible...

- Yes... me too… So... she will stay in this time for a month until the door opens next time.

- I see.

- Don't worry. We'll just be roommates.

- I believe he has a separate room for you…

- That's not what I meant. I mean people who live together but don't interact at all. We probably wouldn't even see each other.

- Why is that?

- I don't like to stay indoors. Taking pictures, wandering around, making small talk with random strangers… It's kind of my thing. But I also like to read books. I'm sure you have at least some…

- Hmm.…

- Wonderful. At least you don't have a headache here.

I smile radiantly and begin to look around.

- Is there anything here that I'm not allowed to touch? I don't wanna invade your privacy, so tell me in advance.

- Hmm…

- Yes, she is quite overwhelming… You get used to it.

(Some time later)

- Don't touch it!

- Why? You didn't mention it when I asked.

- Woman! What's gotten into you? Why do you need to touch everything you see?

- I don't know… I'm curious… And I didn't touch you, so not everything.

- I can't believe he just dumped you on my head!

- For a person who works with creative people, you are quite short-tempered.

- I've never met such an irritating person in my life...

- No one has ever told me that... I think we're just incompatible.

- Obviously. You said you don't like being indoors.

- I am. But I don't know this place yet and I don't wanna get lost.

- What a wonderful idea…

- What did you say?

- Nothing. Come on. I'll show you around. And you need a dress.

- Why? What's wrong with my dress?

- First of all... it's shamingly short.

- I don't think so!

- In 19th century it's too short.

- Oh... right… I forgot.

After the incredibly awkward process of buying a dress. Why do they need so many people to take measurements? I finally got outside. I need to keep reminding myself... Don't even try to breathe, it's an unattainable desire. This is not a dress, but an instrument of torture.

- Maybe I should stay indoors... - I muttering to myself

- What now?

- I cannot breathe in this...

- You'll get used to it.

- I don't want to get used to it!

Some people turn around to look at me disapprovingly. I probably don't have the right to show emotions either... Wonderful!

- So... This is the main street with lots of shops. If you turn right, you will find yourself in front of my house after a while.

- That's right… We came here this way…

- So that's it... enjoy.

- Hey! Are you seriously going to leave me here alone?

- You said…

- Right, right, I said… Sorry... See you at home…

He takes a long exasperated sigh and instantly disappears into the crowd.

- But the problem is… I don't speak French...

I take a long exhale…

- Okay. I'll figure something out...

I move with the crowd in one direction, then in another… And somehow ended up in an alley with very beautiful trees. I look around. Nobody. This is my only chance. I take out my phone and take a couple of pictures. Perfect. Well, at least I'd have something to prove that I'm not crazy. But... It's just trees, I need something more.… Oh, such a lovely church…

(This part already seems like the beginning of the route. I just cannot imagine NOT falling for him. I'm doomed)

I opened a very heavy door and entered a dimly lit church. It's empty… Interesting… I look around, enjoying the way the stained glass window casts multicolored light into the room... I walk slowly down the hall, finally find the right angle and take a shot. The echo of footsteps makes me turn around, and I hurriedly hide the phone.

Two men approached from the other side of the church. One of them had very odd white hair. Not gray, but white. I've never seen anything like that. And the other was in the priest's clothes. Right… I'm in the church, not museum. They said something, probably to me, but I didn't understand. I smiled shyly and decided to leave. I clearly shouldn't be here. But the moment I touched the handle, the door opened and the young man almost bumped into me.

- Pardon... - he said and, without slowing down, ran inside the church.

He said something swiftly in French. I didn't understand a word, but something caught my attention and I looked around. My eyes met the priest's and my heart skiped a bit. How did I not notice this before? He's gorgeous… Tall and undoubtedly muscular frame, fluffy dark hair, sharp gaze… I cannot even look away.

- Hello… Do you perhaps speak English?

I look in the direction of the voice. It was a man with white hair.

- Actually, I do.

- What brings you here? - A deep vibrating voice, and my brain just stopped working.

- Huh? -  I stare at the priest, dumbfounded.

- You look so cute.… Can we play? - The guy with pink hair who had just arrived suddenly came close to me and whispered in my ear.

- Could you not invade someone else's personal space…

- What are you talking about? – A completely innocent look of confusion on his face.

- I'm talking about my personal space. And I don't like strangers in it.

- Right, we didn't introduced.

- She came to us. She has to introduce herself first.

- Huh? – And again... What is this man doing to me?

The absolutely sincere laughter sounded especially loud in the empty church.

- I didn't expect that... - The white-haired guy. Up close, I noticed that his eyes were red. Is he sick or something?

- Why are you looking at me? She probably has hearing problems…

- Right… I wouldn't expect anything less from you…

- I'm Charles. Nice to meet you! – Guy with pink hair smiled brightly.

- I'm Vlad. And this grumpy priest is Faust.

- An unusual name.

- It's not a name. But he prefers to be called that.

- I see. I'm Jane.

- Really?

I look at Vlad and feel uncomfortable for no reason.

- I have a pretty ordinary name…

- I think it's beautiful. Just like you! - Charles ones again has come too close to me, and I look at him disapprovingly.

- I just told you…

- It's pointless. He only hears what he wants to hear. -  I look at Faust and somehow manage to nod. Oh, progress! I'm not as hopeless as I feared.

- So, what brings you here? – This time the question was from Vlad, and I managed to answer.

- I think… I got lost... - I allowed myself an ironic laugh.

- It doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest...

- Oh......It's been a very long and eventful day, and I just cannot bring myself to feel something anymore... I guess...

- I've never heard of this.... Docteur you?

- No. But somehow I understand what she meant...

- Lovely... -  Vlad smiles and happily claps his hands.

- If she got lost… Maybe we could take her home?

- I'm not a stray kitten!

- Huh? I think you're cuter than a kitten.…

- ...I have a headache again…

- Really? I can look for a medicine for you…

- No... that's not what she meant...

- Charles, we cannot keep her, but we definitely have to feed her.

- Once again, I'm not a stray kitten!

- Welcome to my world…

I look at him, and for the first time, something like real emotion shows in his eyes. Oh... whey are green... Pretty...

There was a mountain path behind the church. I was sure I was going to die before we got up that damn mountain. It seems that this ascent will never end. But I was the only one who was out of breath. Right. They probably do this all the time…

As soon as we got to the top, Charles said something about food and disappeared. My head was spinning and my lungs were on fire, I fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer.

- You have so little stamina...

"Really? You noticed?" - I wanted to say ironically. But at the moment the top of my abilities were probably not as scary as I hoped gaze. He smirked and disappeared into the... What is it? A Castle? I just noticed...

- You shouldn't be sitting on the ground. You'll catch a cold…

After several attempts, I finally managed to stand on shaky legs. Vlad holds my hand. My breathing still resembles asthmatic in the worst possible stages. I need to practice. Walking is not enough exercise!

- Come on… I'll show you the garden. Charles needs some time to prepare the food.

He pulls at my hand, but I stop in my tracks.

-Really?

- Excuse me?

- Why all people at this time period... are so desperately trying to feed me? Do I look that hungry?

The man's eyes seem to open a little wider than usual.

- This time period?

- Don't mind me… The garden, you say.

We bend the castle, and behind it opens the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. I thought William's garden was cute, but this…

- So beautiful…

- I'm glad you like it. This is my garden…

- You mean... You planted, tended and... everything else?

- Yes.

- But it's huge! It's like... a mile long. And there are a lot of flowers… How can one person do this?

- I have all the time in the world…

Ring the bell!

- Don't tell me…

- Do you have a question?

- I have, but... what the hell, I have nothing to lose! I mean, even if I don't ask, you'll probably kill me.

His eyes widened ones again.

- Are you a vampire?

He blinks. The pause seemed to take forever.

- And what exactly gave you that idea?

I turn at the sound of oh so much familiar voice and meet with green eyes. He seemed to be much closer than I expected… How did he manage to sneak up on me unnoticed? And somehow that thought allowed me to finally talk to him.

- I don't know.… The same vibe…

- Vibe…

I take a deep breath. Don't tell me they don't have that word as well.

- I don't know... he just seems different.

- How so? People don't even suspect me.

- Well... if you don't expect something different, you won't notice a thing.

- And you expect it... So you knew…

I look at Faust questioningly.

- Charles said there was a girl in the mansion…

Wonderful. So, I got the confirmation I was asked for.

- Why do vampires find me? Does my blood smell good or something?

- You found us. So you tell. Do we smell nice?

Faust! What the hell are you doing? How can you ask this so bluntly? And my voice, which has just returned to me, disappears again.

The charming laugh attracts my attention... Vlad seems to be enjoying my suffering. Suddenly Charles jumps out into the garden and points an accusing finger at Faust.

- How could you make her fall for you in my absence? It's so sneaky of you...

- I'm not in love with him!

- Really? It's very hard to believe…

I'm looking at Vlad seriously.

- It's called crush. And I'll get over it in no time, as soon as I realize that he has nothing but good looks.

- You sound so sure…

- I have experience.

Yes. Experience. The first was a scientist who died before I was even born. Then a couple of actors. And finally, my college teammate. The last one was the worst. He knew and only exploited my feelings. I hate him. I hate him so much! But that's all in the past. And now... the priest. At least my addiction to unreachable guys hasn't changed…

- Did I miss something?

- You obviously did. But let's go inside. The food is waiting…

Carefully avoiding looking at Faust, I follow Vlad and Charles, who is bouncing at every step.

(***)

After an extremely delicious dinner, I finally felt relaxed. So... What should I do? I looked around and chose a victim.

- So… I have a question…

- Of course. What would you like to know?

- Do you dye your hair?

- W-w-what?

- I have never seen such a shade of hair.… You probably killed them when you did it.… Can I touch it?

- No... no! Stop it!

I begin to pursue Vlad, who is dissatisfied with my desire to touch his hair. Have know idea why.

- Voïvode? Do you need a help?

We ran around the table a couple of times before he finally realized that he was taller than me and his hair was completely safe. I got tired of running and fell down on the couch. What's next? I look at Charles.

- You can do whatever you want with me.

- No.

- Aww. Why?

- I don't know. Probably because you agree so easily.…

Charles looked at Faust very sadly.

- What? She completely ignores me. 

- Lucky you!

- Vlad! What's there?

I pointed to a door that didn't seem to have been used for a long time…

- I don't know…

- Good! Let's explore…

I jump up and try to open the door, but it won't budge.

- Owww.… It's closed. Vlad!!!

- Where does she get so much energy from?

- Maybe she's 5 years old?

Oh… good idea! Thanks Faust.

(Several days later)

- Oh, candy!

- No! You cannot give her sweets! – Vlad is almost crying.

- Sorry... sorry... She was smiling so radiantly that I forgot.

I think it's time to slow down a bit. I'm desperately trying to keep a smile from spreading. I feel someone's gaze on me and meet Faust's eyes first time for a very long time. Damn, he noticed. I raise an eyebrow questioningly. But he just smirked and didn't say a word. Didn't expect that...

I'm going back to my room in the castle. I have no idea why they still want me to stay with them. I'm constantly harassing both of them. I'm too clingy and overly emotional with Vlad and, on the contrary, very cold and distant with Charles. They're really weird.

William must be overjoyed because I got lost. I haven't heard from him since the first and the last day we saw each other. It's probably for the best. Charles regularly tells me about what's going on in the mansion. I don't know who is providing him with information, and I don't really care. According to him, all the residents are very worried about me. I have no idea why. I was pretty rude to them. Vampires are certainly strange creatures…

But my biggest problem is… Faust. I lie down on the bed and cover my face with a pillow to muffle the scream.

- How can he be so damn perfect?!?

This crush has a very high probability of developing into true love.

I'm doomed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 Start page 🔝

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, currently cheering, laughing, and digging in for what looks like an amazing season. You know there are a lot of ways they could have told the story of Buck realizing he's bi, but by far they went for the most hilarious and ridiculous route and I a HERE for this kind of nonsense. ABC seriously said "Okay, Buck's gonna get really jealous of Eddie's new guy friend...who he spends more time with than his girlfriend who Buck isn't jealous of (and who hasn't spoken in 4 episodes and is known for being the babysitter when Eddie needs to spend time with his new guy friend). Buck will go to ridiculous lengths to get Eddie's attention, including loudly clanking around the gym while sweaty and playing a sport he hates, while sweaty. But then, get this, the new friend will confront Buck and Buck will conclude for some reason THAT'S the person whose attention he wanted, something even the new friend doesn't believe, but he kisses him anyway. How funny would that be." ABC, and Tim specifically, you are not fooling anyone about where this is going.

Seriously I'm so happy, even if Buck's first kiss wasn't Eddie. Tommy isn't going to be around long it seems (especially if he has any sense of self preservation) and maybe Marisol will be lucky to get a full sentence in before she's out the door the way they're going. But I think this is the best way to tell this particular self discovery story, not in an overly angsty, stressful way but in a fun way that's over the top. I'm happy about the way they did it, and am definitely curious about how they will develop Buck through the season. Let's buckle in my friend, we're finally getting some good soup 🎉🎉🥂🥂!!!

My friend, I am still giddy over how much fun I had all around with that episode! Maddie and Chim were in peak Sassy Sibling mood with Buck, we even got some Mom-Mode Activated Maddie, we got silly call shenanigans, we got a heartbreaking call, we got some Grant family drama bringing up stuff from the past, we got happy smiling Eddie, we got sass-master Ravi, AND we got kicked-puppy pouty faced Buck begging Eddie to pay attention to him all episode and still somehow coming up with the wrong answer to his jealousy question 🤣 Epitome of that "the risk I took was calculated but MAN am I bad at math" meme. I love him.

I was reserving my judgment to see how this was going to play out, but so far, I am not hating it! It really does feel like Tommy Knows What's Up, but he gets to kiss Buck out of it, so why not? and while I don't ship them, the kiss was REALLY soft and sweet and Buck is being pursued for once so like, I'm willing to see how Tommy moves Buck's story forward. It definitely gave me the vibes that this is going to be the thing that helps push Buck to his "oh" moment about Eddie (hopefully with an accompanying montage to shut up the "this came out of nowhere" people 🙄). I'm typically not on the "this character needs to date around and use other people to be "ready" for the relationship they ACTUALLY want" train, but so far this storyline was handled well. Like, it's SO clearly about Eddie but also it's SO clear Buck has not connected those dots yet but Tommy HAS. So it's not like Buck *knows* and is stringing Tommy along waiting for Eddie to be single. It has the potential to be a sweet, fun, joyous experience for Buck without ever undercutting his relationship with Eddie because again, Tommy sure seemed to know whose attention Buck was REALLY looking for. For now, I'm on board to see how the ride plays out! And with Tim being better at keeping the stories focused on the mains, I think we are going to get some REALLY good Buck moments with his family around all this, while Tommy does the job of a side character and moves the story along.

"maybe Marisol will be lucky to get a full sentence in before she's out the door" Please, the sound I just made! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Let's hope it's no more than that, I cannot take her smiling like her head is about to start spinning around (plus the actress needs to GO, we don't need that nastiness here!). I am cryyyying though at the way Eddie's girlfriends have never even registered for Buck because at no point did they interfere with his time with Eddie and Chris, but Eddie spends time with ONE (1) dude, and Buck is just BESIDE himself about it. Poetic. Baby boy you are sooooo close to a realization! Also, not the synopsis calling out Eddie reevaluating his relationship the second Buck gets into one 🤣🤣🤣 Boys you are NOT subtle.

We are being FED and I am strapped in for the ride! Lets goooooo! The joy and heart and soul of the show has been restored and it feels sooo good!

[themushroomgoesyeet]

The sonic live fandubs have been rotting a hole straight through my skull so here are some incorrect arcana-ified quotes wheeeeeeee

(also tw for swearing ig)

The Devil, stepping through a portal from his realm hell: hi Lucio, it's me, the Devil™, I'm here to convince you to do sin! Come with me, steal candy from babies & small businesses!

Lucio, still in his mercenary arc & was just minding his business: I will never do such a thing! I'll sin my own way!

Devil: ok bye *sics his demons on Lucio *

Lucio: OK FINE I'LL SIN I'LL SIN I'LL SIN

Devil: *calls back the demons & goes back through the portal to hell *

Lucio: heh, works every time

~~~~

Lucio: *starts a plague *

Devil: heeeey that was pretty good, you got 16 sin points

~~~~

Lucio: *contracts the plague*

Devil: bing bong what's up you're doing a bad job

Lucio: I KNOW I'm doing a bad job!

~~~~

Lucio: *does plot stuff & destroys hell or something (idk what happens in Lucio's route) and comes back to the real world thinking the day is saved*

Devil, materializing with his entire army: ding-a-ling cock sucker! ok, you can't do that to hell and get away with it; I had to roll back TIME, do you know how much of a fucking logistical issue it is when you destroy HELL?!?!? that's MY HOUSE DUDE

~~~~

Devil: *about MC* who's that person? do you know them? are they a friend? that's kinda cool, are they alive? do you know them? are they alive? do you hang out with them? do you save them? that's awesome dude, I wish I had a friend like that, that could save me if I was ever in danger

~~~~

Lucio: *having flashbacks about the plague*

Devil: weeoo weeoo I'm in your flashbacks now, apparently you didn't save MC - you did a very bad job actually that's really embarrassing for you buddy

Lucio: wait, WERE YOU MC?!?!?

Devil: no I'm the Devil™

~~~~

Lucio: *becomes count & commissions a bunch of art of himself*

Devil: okay, that was like awesome - not a sin. you did just waste military money which is super funny, uhhhhhh...you're really really bad at this

Lucio: your standards are so fucked!

Devil: are you sure you're evil?

~~~~

Devil, at any given time: hiiii Lucio, it's me, the Devil™, I love you......I'm having so much fun with you

~~~~

Devil, after fighting Lucio & MC: hey what's up, I'm completely fine by the way you stupid idiot

Lucio: NICE TIMELINE RESET DICKNIPS

MC: actually, this guy never reset the timeline; you're kinda just really bad at killing people

Devil: yeah no I'm fucking with him at this point - you ever heard of gaslighting? that's like my specialty, I'm the Devil™. did you know that? hi, I'm the Devil™, nice to meet 'ya MC. I already know who you are - you kissed those 5 other people that one time?

MC: oh! gaslight me! gaslight me!

Devil: uhhhhh I already am, I was gaslighting you this whole time

MC: ohhhohoho cool!

Devil: shut up

~~~~

Devil: EEEEEEYYYYYYYYY, WHAT'S UUUUUUP, IT'S ME <3

Lucio: STOP

~~~~

Devil: it's really cute how you're gonna defeat me with the power of friendship & all but again I am the Devil™, from the Arcana™

~~~~

Lucio, infiltrating Vesuvia's government: ok, let's see, best way to sin.......killing the count

*Valerius walks by*

Lucio: new idea.....adultery

Lucio, meeting Muriel again for the first time in years: wait, I traumatized you as a child! that's badass!

~~~~

~~~~

MC: Lucio, you're an asshole man

Lucio: you are what you eat MC

MC: wh-what the hell man......that was kinda sick

Lucio, surprised that joke worked: thanks, I worked hard on it

that's it I'm done good night everybody

[bloobluebloo]

I did NOT know about that oot first playthrough route and I'm here begging you to elaborate How In the—??

SO-

When I was a wee child, I was a fool that turned down my aunt’s offer to get me Ocarina of Time brand new off the presses because she had heard that “all the kids were buying it”.

(I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY I DID THAT I TURNED DOWN A FREE GAME LIKE WTF????)

Later on, I saw my friend had bought Oracle of Seasons and, wanting to copy him because kids like to be cool like their friends, I begged my parents and they got me Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages, so those were my first Zelda games. At this point I was full blown obsessed with LoZ and, going online, I learned that OoT was not only the best Zelda game ever, but possibly the best game ever made. So, lo and behold I was back at my parents’ feet begging for OoT. My dad was not pleased but after being a constant nag he decided that if he found a copy at the flea market he would buy it second hand, his budget being 30 or something dollars.

AND he found one! So I popped the cartridge in and I see a save file that seems pretty far ahead in the game so I open it and I’m taken aback because this guy saved at the Shadow Temple. Coming off the Oracle games this was quite a shift in tone so, insanely curious, I started to explore. Soon enough I realized that this dungeon was not completed so, being the emo child I was, I completely forgot that it might be a better idea to start a fresh save file and went on ahead and completed the Shadow Temple. SO, the Shadow Temple was my first OoT dungeon.

(I died so many freaking times like I was learning about the tools I had on the fly 😭)

By that point, since I had already committed to finishing the Shadow Temple I was like “let me do what this previous player didn’t do and finish the game”. I explored Hyrule a bit. Castle Town fascinated me so much because there were ZOMBIES and then I saw Ganon’s Castle (at this point I knew Ganon as the blue pig monster). When I discovered the Gerudo desert it was over for this hoe because, retroactively now that I think about it, I felt like there was something in the fiction I loved that I felt I could actually relate to. I played the horseback archery game so many times. I completed the Gerudo Training Grounds and got the ice arrows. I discovered the Spirit Temple and looked around inside even though it was complete.

(I also remember finding it funny that Ganon was Ganondorf like what’s with that suffiiiiiiix)

ANYWAYS after all that I went into the Temple of Time and then discovered Sheik where I was like oh who the fuck is this but then Sheik was Princess Zelda and I’m like damn holy shit this is a lot what is HAPPENING and then Ganondorf crashes the party and I’m telling you, this is a distinct memory, because I was like 👀wow so cocky with those words 👀 that laugh 👀 sounds so cool 👀 who are you GanonDORF 👀👀👀

After that I quickly ate dinner and flew back into my room because I mean. I was already endeared to the Gerudo and Ganondorf is a Gerudo and he sounds so sick and I completed Ganon’s castle so fast and then I saw him, the man, the legend, on a fucking organ playing his own theme song and I’m like-

Wrooooooooooow 👀👀👀👀👀

Anyways I was so fucking distracted by Ganondorf I fought him like a million times and combed through Hyrule searching for every bit of lore I could find about him before I realized that it might be a good idea to, you know, START FROM THE BEGINNING it might ya know contextualize some things.

So yeah thats the HGHHJJGKKHGFJJ part. I think I had OoT for about 2 months? Before I started it from the beginning. I was a weird child what kind of 11 going on 12 year old falls like that for the King of Evil?

(This bitch that’s who look at where I am NOW-)

[lorahgames]

Collar x Malice: Full Review

Console: Nintendo Switch

Total Play Time: 60 hours

Lorah Game Rating: 9.5/10

--------

I finally did it; I stuck with one single otome game, and finished it up!

Although CxM is my first blog post, I am not new to otome. I like to think I have a fair bit of experience to chalk up a decent review about these games, so this is my go at it!

SYNOPSIS: Collar x Malice takes place in a quarantined Shinjuku, Japan, where citizens live in fear of Adonis, a criminal organization that believes it will revitalize Japan with its own warped sense of justice and judgement. The story begins when Ichika Hoshino, a rookie cop, is attacked and has a poisonous collar placed around her neck by Adonis, who declare they are testing her as they believe she has potential to be one of their sympathizers. Ichika must now work with a group of ex-cops to discover the truth behind the Adonis crimes and to remove her collar.

TIME TO BEGIN THE REVIEW!

I was absolutely blown away by Collar x Malice. Don't get me wrong, I love all the otome games I play, but this one topped the charts for me. I am very, very particular when it comes to what I like and dislike about otome. I absolutely can't stand when the story is boring, but also don't like when the plot takes away from the romances with the love interests. I think CxM has perfected the balance of story-to-romance. I found myself both wanting to solve the mystery of the game while also loving the time I got to spend with each of the LIs. Of course, some routes I found better than others, but that's to be expected! I genuinely enjoyed each of the LIs and what they had to offer. Usually, there will be a LI or two I'm not too fond of, but let me say, all these boys have replay-ability. I will be revisiting this game again.

My first impressions were so-so; they are almost always completely based off of the LIs' designs (lol, a little bit shallow but what can you do). I definitely had preferences towards Yanagi and Okazaki initially. I was indifferent to Sasazuka, and did not feel like I would enjoy Enomoto and Shiraishi all that much. But let me tell you this.

DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. PLS.

Mineo Enomoto

Honestly, I played this man first to get him over with. LOL. I hate to say it now. Enomoto gave off middle school vibes, and it wasn't for me in the beginning. BUT. He really grew on me! Honestly, for being THAT character, you know, the one with no experience with girls, it ended up being super cute. Once you got past the eyepatch thing, he was truly a really good guy and it was adorable to see his relationship develop with Ichika. Definitely not a story heavy chapter, and was a great light introduction to the game, especially with how the game gets darker later on. Enomoto wasn't my favourite, but I still am excited to play his after-story in CxM unlimited.

Takeru Sasazuka

Oh, Sasazuka. Your route was great.

This man was a tsundere if I've ever seen one. He was curt, he was rude, but he was such a good LI. I actually found Sasazuka's backstory to be really good, especially the role it plays in the plot. He had MEGA character development from the beginning of the route to finish. It was lovely to see him fall so hard for Ichika, who he had been calling stupid cat for half the game. Not to mention, Sasazuka's CGs are FINEEEE. I hit that Switch screenshot button a few times. Funny enough, when I went to go play Yanagi's route it didn't register my completion of Sasazuka's, so I actually had to play his route twice. Of course, I sped through most of the dialogue, but I did find myself stopping to replay and read the cute moments between him and Ichika. I enjoyed them as much as I did the first time. I really enjoyed both LI and plot in this route.

Kageyuki Shiraishi

I played Shiraishi's route fourth. At this point, I had a good gist of how the story was flowing, but I did NOT expect the plot twist of Shiraishi's route! I was hesistant to even play Shiraishi at all, because long-haired men (not to mention the cat aesthetic he has going on) aren't usually my thing. Personally, I loved the route's plot more than I did the romance with Shiraishi. This isn't me saying he was bad, but his story was so well done, it's hard to not like it more. I found with Shiraishi, he was slightly overhyped in online reviews. A lot of people say Shiraishi is their favourite from the game, but he wasn't mine. I think I went in with my expectations a bit too high, especially after how much I loved Okazaki's route. At the climax of his route, I felt things were a bit rushed because I was confused as to what was going on, but it was such a minor confusion that I figured things out pretty quickly. Again, I'm really looking forward to playing his after-story!

Aigi Yanagi

It took forever to finally get to Yanagi's route. Honestly at the point I finally got to play his route, he has been a side character for so long that it was hard not to see him that way (LOL, sorry Yanagi!). One thing I was surprised about was that Yanagi's route really put romance on the back-burner and put the story in the front. I get it, since Yanagi's route was the big reveal and finale, and honestly it really worked for the overall story. It's not like Yanagi's route wasn't romantic, but it was a little hard to focus on him when you could feel the Adonis leader's identity reveal just around the corner. Yanagi also had the longest route, with seven chapters instead of six. I would say he got some of the best CGs of the game, probably since he is the poster child of CxM. The whole Yanagi backstory is absolutely fantastic as well, and they did a really good job diving deep into his character.

Kei Okazaki

Of course, I had to leave Okazaki for last. Okazaki is by far my favourite Collar x Malice LI and may quite literally be overtaking Toma (Amnesia) for the top spot of them all. I knew I would love Okazaki from the start and I was right. I love his character design, the voice acting, aloof personality, route story, EVERYTHING. While I would not classify Okazaki as any sort of yandere (my favourite trope), he checked all the boxes I usually look for in my LIs (self-sacrificing, obsessive, etc). His entire life outlook changed after getting close with Ichika, and was it ever emotional seeing him go though all that inner turmoil. Let me tell you, this man had me RUNNING to Collar x Malice Unlimited for more. The amount of times he popped up in Yanagi's route made me want to just go replay his route again. Not to mention, his tragic love ending has to be the best in the game. I accidently got it by misclicking, but holy crap?? The CG was crazy! And once you get the tragic love end, you get the bonus CG, which also happens to be my favourite from the game. Anyway, this game has left me an Okazaki fan through-and-through, as well as clogged up my Switch library with screenshots of his face. I could say A LOT more, but trying to leave this spoiler-free for friends who potentially want to play.

Kei best boy <3

Do I recommend Collar x Malice? Of course!

The game really hits both the story component and romance component, and I definitely got my money's worth with over 60 hours of gameplay. Of course, there are some minor bugs (looking at you, Sasasuka route) where dialogue seems to be misplaced or the self-inserted name still comes up as Ichika, but believe me, this was so minor and infrequent that I don't think it affected the overall quality of the game.

I am actually sad that the game is over! I'm scared to finish Unlimited too, because what will I do then?!

Overall, Collar x Malice definitely left a lasting impression on me and has become one of my favourite otome. I had a blast playing it and will definitely be back to do it all again. I hope I can break free of my habit of comparing every LI to my favourite, because Okazaki will be hard as hell to beat.

Thanks for reading my review !

LORAH

[melted-sweets]

♡ ── “ VALENTINES DAY . . . ” | 1/?

Felicity:

Alright… If you ever think she will be excited about the day of love, you can tell that she is… Exploding like a star somewhere in the galaxy as she is very excited about this special day with you…

Other than that, this (quite a) mischievous court jester has some… Bunch of plans and revisions of it that it ended being only 2 plans that were made it… Yeah, you can tell that she is absolutely would go to extreme lengths of making this day a fantastic memory to remember!

Without further ado, It is time to reveal the first plan… And is… Baking but this is not an ordinary baking experience but more like… “MAKE MORE, MORE SWEETS!”

And you want to guess what happened next on the baking section? Sweet shenanigans, of course! And why is that? Because Masky Feels decided if it would be funny to join with you guys and it all ended with 50% success and 50% of a mess! What a 50/50 ratio right there!

Now, to the second plan is a bit more normal than whatever that you guys have committed… And that is… Going to a carnival!

She thought that it would be quite a fun time to spent together on Valentine’s Day as carnival dates on Masky Feels’ kingdom is always up to date with the national holidays which makes it a little bit more exciting, fun and unique other than the mini games and so much more (It’s kinda inspired from Penacony from Honkai Star Rail for the major aesthetic of Masky Feel’ kingdom as it’s the kingdom of entertainment)!

From the roller coaster to the mini games, you can tell that she is having fun with it despite her being an adult (in appearance) since these are usually done by families who wants to entertain their children but hey, everyone of all ages can enjoy it, right?

And so… Once the sunset is almost passed and the moon shall be shining, you decided that in order to remember of all these fun times that were refreshing for you and her, a photo shot shall do the trick and kaboom! You get a fantastic photo of you and your silly partner on this romantic day…

After that day had to come to an end, you and her decided to make it being a matching profile picture somewhere in a chatting app and now, you officially got the “silly person x their better half” thingy going around you guys!

Though… As she is a renowned court jester, there would be someone who would have got you and her on a date which is going to be… Something else once you opened the news section on your phone or get yourself a newspaper and see the rumor section… Oh dear!

Ayama:

As she is an alter ego of Felicity, things are going to be very different, seriously.

Like she is just… Straightforward, serious and stoic most of the time but there were those times where she just… Lower her guard a little bit… For you. Yes, you.

And why is that? Because you are her… Darling, honey, dearest and more words that she literally called you and yes, it may sounded cringy but she’s an old lad despite her appearance of a young adult woman on her 20s so of course, she’s going through the “old love” route.

Anyways, as for her plan is… Pretty much simple as what it is such as taking a walk on a park on the day as she feels like it would be working just fine… As she would put it and since she lived in the same kingdom as Felicity… Things would be a bit noisy especially since you have entered the world of entertainment where everyone can have their fun and simply enjoy their life while it’s on the blast!

As for going to a park plan, it… Kinda work I supposed… I mean… It did started raining shortly after both of you entered the famous park for its greenery and other stuff… Welp, be glad that Ayama prepared absolutely everything so you can able to protect yourself from the rain by her umbrella.

“Quite unexpected, isn’t it?” She said as her glimmering eyes with those teardrop pupils looked at you, still no smile but there is a light on the both of her eyes… Unlike Felicity.

“Yeah… I’m glad that you bring your umbrella with you because otherwise, we would get wet for good!” You replied, as you and her carefully taking your steps on the park as (almost) everyone is simply minding their business… Except for those who are… A fan of Ayama… Another “uh oh” moment right there!

“Omg, is that her?!”

“Mom, look! It’s the lady that I talked about from a few days ago!”

“Wow… She still looks so elegant… Even on a rainy day like this!”

Ahh, those voices that she always heard every time… How fantastically repetitive it is for her ears.

“Wait a minute… Why is she with another person? Are they dating or something?”

“Ahhh! I wished I can have a nice walk just like Ayama and that lucky person with her~!”

“Wow… I never seen Miss Ayama with someone rather than Miss Felicity so this is new stuff!”

Welp… Here we go again.

“Ugh…” Ayama got annoyed by the fame that she is receiving at this point, it feels like she has stuck in a place where the public eye is watching her every move and she doesn’t want that in the first place but of course, there’s gotta be some people can’t simply listen about someone’s boundaries which makes things just seem so… Shitty.

“Are you alright, Ayama?” You said, hearing her getting more annoyed about the people who is… Watching them at this moment.

“Dear, hold my hand.” She whispered softly, her voice is quite smooth as honey when she said that.

“Sure…” You said as you hold her hand and so, she quickly yet swiftly run away from the crowd as everything is starting to get so… Dizzy to the point that you wanted to pass out but a magic trick have appeared by Ayama that makes both of you run as fast as possible.

After that fast run, you managed to come back to the kingdom once again but sadly, you passed out as the dizziness has taken over you… Ayama can’t help but sighs as her plan has completely… Failed, miserably.

But hey, at the very least… She can able to spend some time with you on this day as the time shall keep going and everything shall vanished, soon… And she can’t help but will feel the loneliness once again if she ever loses you.

[pastafossa]

Stumbling and crashing and tripping with various crashes and a Wilhelm scream into your askbox to ask, YOU PLAY BG3????? ISN'T IT GREAT?!?!?!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH AKSHQKXBQ it's been my Focus since December!!! Who's your favorite so far?? How far are you in?? What kind of route are you doing?? Have you discovered any funny loopholes yet?? What race do you favor playing?? I LOVE to hear about other peoples playthroughs,

IT'S GODDAMN AMAZING AND I ALREADY HAVE MULTIPLE PLAYTHROUGHS PLANNED BECAUSE ONCE IS NOOOOT ENOUGH! I AM IN LOVE. Like I know these types of games (I've been a Bioware slut since KOTOR 2, so I looove this genre), and so I feel very confident saying holy shit, BG3 is one of the best! ALSO IT'S HUGE??? INSANELY HUGE??? AND FULL??? I LOVE IT SM.

Oh god favorites are hard, I'm gd attached to all of these little ducklings following my Tav. So far at least, storywise it's SCRATCH HE IS THE BESTEST BOY maaaybe Astarion. I LOVE his arc, his voicework is stunning, (I accidentally killed him with the big monastery laser and his reaction was hysterical) and his quest has been very moving. A close second is KARLACH, MY GIRL, MY FIREY BFF, like damn I HAD my little battle group (Gale + Astarion + Wyll) when I found her but I adore her so much I'm rotating Gale and Wyll to keep her permanently, SHE JUST WANTED A HUG. 😭

I'm in act 3, I just hit the city! I have no idea how but I am also STILL on my first PT after over a month of play. I love to sniff around under every nook and cranny granted, AND YET I STILL MISSED THINGS, IT'S SO BIG???

So far my route has been a chaotic good route! Outside, uh, occasional murdery hiccups goodbye creche but ya'll were assholes I've mostly managed to follow that alignment, and somehow still made friends with Lae? That was unexpected. I thought she hated my Tav's guts before she hit on her. 😂

Hilarious moments: setting off the giant laser at the monastery cause why wouldn't I grab the shiny weapon (sorry Astarion); being instakilled by Vlaakith at said monastery after basically mocking her with 'if you were really a god you'd be able to just kill someone yourself ha ha-splat'; friends telling me to talk to animals so I got excited when I saw a squirrel and ran to talk to it - it proceeded to bite me, then I failed a persuasion roll about being friends and it told me to fuck off; trying to get to that dwarf lady's husband in the Underdark and shooting an arrow at one of the mushrooms in the field he was in, thinking I could clear them one by one to get to him, only to set off a chain reaction that incinerated him and left the entire field a smoking crater (me as the explosions begin: oh, OH, oh no - wait, sir! Sir! Oh you're fine, you're - oh fuck, RUN SIR RU-shit he's dead); placing my druid in rothe/battle cow shape at the top of a ladder and charging whatever bad guy comes up so they fall back down (catchphrase: MOO, BITCH); and finally, I was having trouble with that one boss guy in the goblin camp, the one that sits on the throne. So when I saw I could get to the rafters, I painstakingly dragged every last explosive barrel and grenade I could find into the room and innocently placed them around the throne, then went up to the rafters and had Astarion shoot a fire arrow. I figured I'd at least bring the guy's health down but instead I set off the fourth of july, blasted that guy so hard he bounced around the room like a pinball before his body wound up glitch-stuck halfway through a wall, but hey, dead as a doornail sooo... it worked? Chaotic good alignment: MASTERED. 🤪

I'm playing a half-elf druid CAUSE I CAN BE AN OWLBEAR OR DINOSAUR TO FIGHT. I now have a chance to run around as a dinosaur druid with my 200 yo elf boyfriend, my BFFs, and find random bowls of poutine, this is the BEST GAME EVER. Also hilariously, I didn't check the stats closely and her intelligence wound up quite low, so she is very wise but also dumb as a bag of hammers, I love her, my first Tav is a good-hearted, unintentional bundle of chaos.