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#think thats all the tags i can put so here goes
k1ll3r-k4rg0 · 1 year
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18+ ONLY (no minors please!!)
Here's my 2023 October prompts list!! Horror + Gore + Whump type of deal
Can be used for drawing or for writing with any characters, OCs, canon, etc.
Organized so you have two to three days to do each coz I think 30 in a month is super hard. Prompts are meant to be vague/make you think coz I like the idea of seeing everyone's different interpretations.
If you use please tag #k1lltober23 or #k1lltober or tag this blog (@k1ll3r-k4rg0)
Typed prompts and some definitions under the cut coz I did not make this one legible at all. Thank you and have fun!!!!
(Oct 1–2) Crawling Fever
(Oct 3–4) Glint in the Dark
(Oct 5–7) What a Horrible Way to Die
(Oct 8–10) Homicidal Ideation (thoughts and plans of homicide without the act itself)
(Oct 11–13) Headlights
(Oct 14–16) You Should Start Praying
(Oct 17–19) Charnel House (a place associated with violent death)
(Oct 20–22) Hell of Your Own Making
(Oct 23–25) Blurring at the Edges
(Oct 26–28) REVENGE
(Oct 29–31) Dead Friends
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seenthisepisode · 2 years
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lukeskqwalker · 2 years
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my line of thinking is that if i post enough untamed stuff then i'll either a) make more mdzs friends or b) lose followers and both are a lowkey a plus so
#CLARIFICATION: i do not actually mind yall following me obviously this is a public blog its just funny and also wild to be perceived#im sorry i really am but i Am baffled by this number that keeps going up and never goes down like guys!! im a mess!!!#i never stick to one thing HOW are yall not leaving en masse#hit me up if you would like to sob and wail loudly with me over this delightful necromantic comedy/tragedy two in one#ok but seriously all of my friends are like 'yeah lol i lost so many followers for posting x' WHY ARE YOU NOT LEAVING#I CHANGE SO OFTEN WHAT#im not WANTING people to leave but im just. so confused.#i dont MAKE THINGS and when i do i dont make multiple things for the same fandom#i make one (1) post about it and then i vanish into a vapor#ok but to be fair i guess i do put stuff in a queue if i notice im posting a lot of it#like if i go into a tag i always put it all in a queue so yall dont have 500 at once#gotta introduce it slowly. like when youre changing your cats petfood brand.#thats how you catch em#hello. can you tell i do not want to study for my test anymore. anyway.#here is a joke if you get this far#one sec i have to actually think of a joke#i just googled 'good joke' and this one was on a minion meme photo that was very grainy so prepare yourself for the best joke of all time#'there are three kinds of people in the world. those who are good at math and those who are not.' thank you facebook moms#everyone say 'go to bed sam'#this is a joke. i will not. i will wail 'no' like a petulant child. and then i will laugh.#evilly.#if this shows up in any tag at all i will be mortified#to sum up: watch untamed. minion mom joke. patrick star 'who are you people' meme.#will i delete this in the morning? perchance.
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oldmanontumbler · 10 months
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God, Lobcorp Tumblr must go CRAZY...
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🏓 wandering-cunt Follow
whyyyyyy is like everyone here they/them NB im not transphobic i swear i just miss WOMEN 😩
🧃 shrimply-put Follow
Lol there's literally a ton of women??? Like 75% of Wellcheers Club is girls.
🏓 wandering-cunt Follow
OUT OF MY WAY GAYBOYS IM BOUT TO GET IT
🏓 wandering-cunt Follow
WHY AM I ON A BOAT
〔53,209 notes〕
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🪼 tamedandwilling Follow
For the last time, there is no such thing as an "inferior" or "unimportant" abnormality. There is beauty where your foolish minds cannot seek it. What's most important can't be seen by the eye.
🦢 morally-grey-swan6 Follow
the mushroom chunk wont fuck you bro!!!
〔235 notes〕
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🛀🏻 yum-yum-12345 Follow
Hey guys just a friendly reminder to always trigger tag pictures of your abnormalities!!! You dont know if a low level agent could see em or if you could just end up hurting someone so please be mindful!!!!
🪇 ass-iyah Follow
you literally have bloodbath as your pfp.....
🛀🏻 yum-yum-12345 Follow
And I recommend you fall into it!!!! 🥰🥰🥰
❄️ transmasc-ice-queen Follow
This site is free. But god do we pay for it.
〔762 notes〕
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🪇 ass-iyah Follow
🌌 memory-of-emily Follow
My brother in Blue Star they are BOXES
🚦qlipothocary Follow
why r u named ASS-IYAH if u don wanna fuck the ASIYAH sephirot...
🪇 ass-iyah Follow
you can't make anything from "briah"
🧃 shrimply-put Follow
You can make "Brian!"
🪇 ass-iyah Follow
no one is named brian
🪞 born2weak Follow
Hi. - brian
🪇 ass-iyah Follow
go make your own post -> -> ->
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🍣 magicalgirlpussy Follow
What do you think happens if you drink a bottle of enkephalin and then a can of wellcheers and then forbidden tree sap and then get stroked by porccubus 🤔😏🤯
🍣 magicalgirlpussy Follow
bad news guys they transfered me to Safety for this post 😔🤕😵‍💫
🍣 magicalgirlpussy Follow
What happens if you make a playlist of fragment of the universe, silent orchestra, theresia, and singing machine? 🥵😈😳
🍣 magicalgirlpussy Follow
I don't need sleep I need answers
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🌌 memory-of-emily Follow
PSA
If you see something that looks like THIS
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Do NOT go near it!!!
That is NOT a flower that can KILL you!!!
REBLOG TO SPREAD THE WORD
💝 laetittiesss Follow
Nah that's just a flower 🥰
🌌 memory-of-emily Follow
You can't be this wilfully ignorant when peoples LIVES are at stake that is Meat Lanterns BREACHING FORM!!!!
💝 laetittiesss Follow
Actually I work for Information Team and thats just a pretty flower!
🌌 memory-of-emily Follow
STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST YOU LITERALLY FUCKING HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS
💝 laetittiesss Follow
Nah all i have on my hands is the pretty smell of a flower :))
❄️ transmasc-ice-queen Follow
Hey Lae what do you think this is
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💝 laetittiesss Follow
Flour 🥰🌸🌺🌷
👤 palehorse-deactivated04959
Is this like??? L corps version of the 'sharks are smooth' joke???
💝 laetittiesss Follow
Dreaming Current? hes a smooth boi!
👤 palehorse-deactivated04959
Im goi ng to thro w myself into the blue Star
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________________________________
[😎 anonymous asked: ]
[Pale damage isn't even that bad???]
\_______________________________/
🫦 smashorpassabnotourney Follow
Go here.
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🧜🏾‍♀️ m3lt1ngg-l0v3rr Follow
waŋna raıse mƴ 😟😐 to a 😀?‽ 💦 perform attachmeŋt worƙ here ❤️‍🔥🙈🙉🙊 ww.do31o9
🫦 smashorpassabnotourney Follow
Not right now Melting Love I'm sending death threats.
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sillyfairygarden · 6 months
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im MONTHS late to making good on this promise but !! i'm excited to try something different for a DTIYS challenge: a colour this in your style! all the rules and links to access the full pieces will be under the cut :)
rules:
1. no deadline, no due date. take as much time as you wish, and you can colour one, two, or all of them :)
2. i contemplated adding a designated colour palette to each of their designs (since these are based off an au), but i honestly think it's more fun to see the combinations people choose instead. there are basic themes for them (lizzie=chaos, gem=nature/life, cleo=decay/death, and pearl=stars), but go apeshit
3. please tag me AND/OR use the tag #thellodtiys on ur posts. i lurk on twitter/ig so you can use it there too!
click here to access the google drive folder containing the CSP, PSD, and Procreate files . there’s also like. PNGs in there too
thats pretty much it :) the rest is up to you. ive been marinating on the idea of a colouring book zine for the past few months, so this is my soft-launch to see how it goes. i cant express the gratitude i feel towards the kindness this community has shown me, and making content with these silly block women has been an unexpected source of joy in my life. to know that people enjoy my works is simply put, a treasure on its own. ty :^)
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kinardsboy · 2 months
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Prefacing this by saying i don’t hate Eddie or buddie in any way, im only tagging this as anti buddie so people can filter out criticism on a ship that they enjoy ❤️
This post doesnt really have a specific theme, I’m just kinda rambling here so bear with me lol
Something that has been bothering me for a while about the gay eddie hc, is that at least the canon basis/evidence for it, is honestly a little homophobic? Most often people claim he’s gay because of how he treats women poorly and how many failed relationships he’s been in and I just.. first off have you MET a straight man?? 😭 thats how they are..(For the most part). Secondly it’s a negative stereotype that gay men dont treat women well, so having that be one of your main points to make Eddie gay rubs me the wrong way, especially when it comes from non queer men. The other main point I see is the quote “it feels like a performance” but the thing about that quote is , its taken extremely out of context.
He was literally talking about being set up on dates, being FORCED to date instead of letting it happen naturally. Thats what feels like a performance.
I have never understood why Eddie also cant be bisexual if queer at all. he has been clearly shown to enjoy having sex with women.
And another thing that bothers me is that buddie fans shout all the time about wanting whats best for Buck, and then want him shoved in a relationship with a man that has never treated a romantic partner fairly. Again, this isnt Eddie hate but the guy needs serious therapy. He’s a good friend and a good dad, ultimately hes a good person too but he’s not a good partner and that wouldnt change just because he dates Buck.
Bob’s are constantly forcing a heteronormative role onto Buck, especially when it comes to taking care of Christopher and it just, thats not going to solve anything? Like at all? It really makes me feel like they dont understand mlm relationships at all, and what they look like and how they work, especially based on their reactions to how Tommy and Buck interact.
People probably arent going to like this take, but I see fics or posts that constantly put Christopher as Buck’s 1 priority and I just dont think its true. Dont get me wrong I really enjoy the relationship they have, but if any kid on the show has his highest priority, its Jee. Buck spends so much time with Chris because Eddie needs help, if Henren needed help or babysitting more often Buck would seem close to Denny and Mara as well. Im not saying Buck doesnt care or want to hang out with Chris of course, but I feel like people definitely overplay their relationship to an extreme extent. The same goes for buddie in general, especially these last few seasons I dont see buck and Eddie being any closer than eddie and hen or buck and hen or something. Especially considering in 704 Eddie literally didnt invite him to trivia which he knows (or should know) Buck likes lol
And another thing about Christopher is that they turn him into this buddie love child who is SO obsessed with his dad’s sexuality and its just so weird to me. They completely strip him of any independence and personality and turn him into this buddie advocate, and then put him away when he’s no longer useful or needed. Its ableism. Chris is his own character and his story shouldnt focus around Buddie or his dads romantic endeavors AT ALL.
Anyway if you read all of this thanks for indulging my rambling lol
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azirafuck · 1 year
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GOS2 Spoilers Masterpost (ONLY EP. 1-2)
alright, you read the title, you know what's under here - gonna tag everyone who helped this if I know them, thanks to everyone for their contribution and for being agents of chaos the way satan intended. love you all
[Last update/edit: 24/07 - 14:10CET]
first of all, we got some amazing posts from @incorrectquoteswwdits mostly about the first scene in heaven with crowley as an angel:
angel!crowley creating stars and aziraphale thinking he's calling him beautiful
more on that
aziraphale's lies make the lesbians have problems, apparently
communist aziraphale be like OUR CAR
isolation and doubts
THEN we have a detailed recount of the first episode by a kind anon! again, thank you @incorrectquoteswwdits for sharing <3
@goodomens-hints posted a lenghty and detailed recount of the first episode as well with some little hits at future episodes (nothing too big on the post itself, but BE CAREFUL, the blog is actually posting some other spoilers from episodes past the second one!)
@goodomensjail gave us a detailed recount of the first scene, with angel!crowley starting to question stuff and eventually shielding aziraphale with his wing
@mikubinders gives us SOME GOOD GOURMET SHIT by telling us that:
"Beelzebub kidnaps and threatens Crowley, tells him that ze could put a price on his head but ze doesn't want to. After that Crowley comes back to the bookshop and Good-old-fashioned lover boy plays while he drives there. "I'm back" happens. Aziraphale makes Crowley do a silly little apology dance so he forgives him and so they work together"
after thinking this last spoiler was fake, an anon came through and confirmed its real! we also have new context! (sent by an anon to yours tuly)
anon came through with some details about the Everyday record, told us Queen is actually tied to CROWLEY and not to the Bentley, and gave us more context to the OUR CAR and OUR BOOKSHOP bit (sent by an anon to yours tuly)
as for what happens during the Job flashback, after which the sitting five feet apart on a rock in front of the sea happens, a bunch of different versions of what actually happens are going around. @thesherrinfordfacility kept up with the madness surrounding it, so im gonna post here the last two versions of events/details.
first one:
In the Job section, Aziraphale is questioning gods decision of punishing Job. Then u see him in heaven w Muriel here and they are looking thru a long scroll that has instructions from god and he's trying to make sense of it. Muriel is telling him that god and satan made a bet about what Job would do and that's why they are testing him. And az is like whatttt why would god do that that's mean!
When Az finds out they're going to kill Jobs kids, he goes down to Earth to save them while using his angel voice until he realizes he's speaking to Crowley. He sees Crowley about to enter the kids room and tells Crowley "I know you, you wouldn't do this" and Crowley tells him he doesn't know him really. (
AND TY TENNANT IS SASSY AND FLIRTS W AZ??!??!? (*) And THATS when crowley goes "well he seems nice" from the clip. He wasn't jealous tho, like he thought it was funny since they are literally there to supposedly kill these kids and one of them is flirting lol.
The moment of 'weird-beard Crowley' was actually more focused on azi and him questioning God. Crowley tempts Azi w food and u see him struggle but then he gobbled it down and he cries bc he thinks crowley is going to bring him to hell (that's the scene where they are sitting on that thing with the pretty horizon) Crowley tells him "you're just an angel who follows gods as will as much as he can" and Az says that sounds lonely, and Crowley agrees, which is a callback to when he asked Crowley if he was lonely being on what Crowley calls "his own side", and Crowley said no. Crowley then tells him "i'm a demon. I lied"
(*): it was told this isn't actually canon canon, it's up for interpretation - some reported Ty's character is just the classic bratty teenager UPDATE: NOPE anon cleared it up and apparently it DOES read as flirty because ty's character is a little bitch, love that for us
and then we have the second one:
"Episode 2 is half present day things [...], and half the Job story/flashback. Crowley is the demon sent by Satan to torment "God's favorite human" Job to see if Job will curse God, in one big bet between God and Satan. Aziraphale comes to try to stop him, discovers they recognize each other but haven't seen each other since "the flood" and that Crowley seems to have changed since the flood, because he is willing to sacrifice the goats, and ruin Job's house. Crowley says he "has a permit" to torment Job FROM GOD. Aziraphale brings this up to the archangels that gleefully explain that yes it's a bet with Satan and that Job will suffer, but he will get everything back 3-fold by the end. And he will get NEW children. This disturbs Aziraphale, he does not want the CURRENT children to die, he understands the familial love that the archangels do not. He goes to stop Crowley not with power since he has the permit but to reason with him. Aziraphale says things to the effect "I KNOW you don't want to harm them I KNOW you and you don't want to kill children" and Crowley is defiant, but then…. It is revealed that he never killed any of the goats either, he transformed them into pigeons to hide them. And he is hiding the children away in the basement but destroying the house to make it look like they died. He transforms the three kids into lizards to hide them, then when the Archangels descend to give Job his rewards and tell him his wife will bear 7 new children, Job and his wife are in despair because they love their children. Crowley comes in pretending to be a human doctor and he and Aziraphale LIE to the angels faces about how babies are made and trick the angels into thinking Jobs three original children are NEWLY BORN children. Which fools Gabriel, who has only ever seen God make Eve fully grown from Adam's ribs. Crowley then meets Aziraphale at the rock. Aziraphale is crying and says "im ready for you to take me to hell" because he has LIED to angels and foiled God's plans. Crowley is gentle and comforts him that he is still an angel and "I won't tell anyone if you won't" and they reminisce that it's lonely being a different kind of demon and a different kind of angel that sort of do what they feel is right. Heavily implying that they are the same and have each other now. The end of episode 2.
that's what's going around for now, but ill add stuff if we find anything new - also feel free to add to this yourself or send me stuff!
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goomyloid · 4 months
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PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN
i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing
i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far
tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh
ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn
so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.
back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.
im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?
jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless
thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise
and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?
no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…
she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.
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yuyu1024 · 3 months
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HBD
Pairings: Yunho × Y/N
Genre/tags: jealous bf, slice of life
Warning: Fluff, mention of violence and blood but not extreme
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words:
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: sorry havent written for a while. So this may not be as good or okay.
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While you were at your office getting ready to go home after a very... very tiring and long day, you suddenly received a phone call from Yeosang saying that there was an incident during the boys game.
He explained carefully to you what had happened. And you are stunned what and how it all happened.
"Thank you for telling me..." you tell Yeosang who is still on phone
"I figured he hasn't told you about it... knowing Yunho."
"Yeah... I have no freaking idea..." you say. You even sound disappointed coz how could you not notice. "How long has it been? I mean... when you all noticed this... and I don't..."
"Don't be hard on yourself. Yunho is good at hiding what he thinks and feels... we just know because we've known him for so long..."
"I know... but me being his girlfriend should be more... attentive..."
"Don't be hard on yourself. Just talk to him."
"Okay... I will... thank you."
"Okay... San and Seonghwa will drop him at your place."
"Okay..."
[End call]
****
The second you arrive at your place and getting out of the taxi, San and Seonghwa are parking by the curb. Seonghwa is driving Yunho's car while San is driving his SUV, where Yunho is at the moment.
Pretty sure, Yunho got an earful from San during the whole drive. Because out of everybody in their group he is the one who does not condone violence the most. Especially between their friendship group.
"Hi..." Seonghwa greets you as he shuts the door and presses the lock. "How are you?"
"Hmm..." you shrug.
He breathes out a small chuckle. "Yeah... who like to work late on a friday."
"Yeah... but atleast its the last overtime for this season." You say
"Glad to hear..." Seonghwa then hands you the key for Yunho's car. "But sorry that you have to deal with the aftermath." He adds referring to what had happened between Yunho and Mingi.
"I'll talk to him."
"Please do." Seonghwa puts both his hands inside his pockets. "It's just a misunderstanding... you know... boys..."
"It is." You sigh.
"This ends now okay?"
You and Seonghwa both hear San talking to Yunho with firmnesd as he assists him getting down the passenger seat.
"You two, are friends!" San adds
You watch your boyfriend get down quietly. He have a cut on the corner of his lips, a bleeding knee and knuckle. But you are glad its not as bad as you imagined. Coz you know how these boys fight if they have too.
"I can walk." He says in his lower register. Meaning he is still not in the mood. Though that didn't faze San from still standing by him in case Yunho shows struggle.
"He's fine. Physically." Seonghwa says to you. "He's just...."
"Not in the mood?" You finish his sentence
"Yeah..." Seonghwa pats you by the shoulder before you two go and approach the other two.
"We'll go now...." San says as he hands you Yunho's duffle bag.
"Thank you for bringing him here..." you say
"No problem." San smiles at you before his eyes goes to Yunho, who's already walking towards the door of your place. "Get well soon!" San yells
****
After Yunho's friend's left, you went inside and follow your boyfriend. He is limping but thats not what you worry about.
"Hey..." you put his bag down and yours while you follow him to the living room. "What happened?" You ask
"It's nothing..." he sigh as he sits down at the sofa, throwing his head back and eyes shut. "The game just got heated. That's all."
You then sit down next to him and observe. "I've been to your games before... this is not how intense you all play..." you begin. "Especially with your own teammates... your friends..." you add as you grab his hand to check his wound. "Talk to me..." you softly trail off
He slowly opens his eyes and stair at the ceiling. "I don't know what you want me to say..."
"Yunho..." you beg him. "Just tell me... or... do you want me to call Mingi and ask him?"
"No!" He then grabs your hand like you are about to leave even though you didn't even move an inch. "No... don't."
"Okay... so... will you tell me? Why you two fought?" He search for his face as he avoids eye contact with you. "Baby... please..."
He takes a deep breathe before he turns his head to look at you before looking down at your hand, the one he's holding.
"I was...." his thumb caresses your hand. "I am... jealous..."
"Jealous? What do you mean?"
His lifts his gaze to you. "I'm jealous of Mingi...."
"I don't understand what do--"
"I saw you two..." he cuts you off. "More than three times... this month..." he is struggling to get his words out. Like he can't believe what he's saying and accussing you off.
"You saw us...? And you... got... jealous?" You try to process what he's saying and trying to understand his perspective.
"You two were friends before 'us' happened." His grip on your hand got tighter. "You had a crush on him before... and...."
You move closer to your boyfriend and lean in to give him a reassuring smooch. "Mingi and I are friends... that's all." You cup his cheek and kiss him there as well. "And my crush on him... that was during gradeschool..."
"But... still..."
"You've known about this ever since we met... it was not an issue before..." you watch him look a bit down and embarassed now that he told you the reason. "Did I do something that made you feel this way?"
"Nothing...." he leans his back. "I just... I don't know... I'm not even sure why and how..."
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
He looks at you. "Because I'm scared that if I contront you... you'll... leave me..." he mumble the last words as it hurts him to think that it is a possibility
"Why would I leave you? You're the man I love..."
"I know that... however... the two of you..."
"Yunho... Mingi and I work at the same company...so we are bound to see each other... but that's it."
"But I saw you two... outside work... you two look so happy..." he pouts, "he even bought you jewelry."
"Ahh... I see..."
You breathe a smile after he mentioned that one day you and Mingi went out.
"We did went out to get jewelry together... but it's not for me..." you give him another kiss on the lips. "And I asked Mingi for help..."
"Why him and not me?" He's frowning. "You know I have always have time for you... to help you and be with you..."
"I know, baby... but how can I ask you for help if it's for you..."
"Huh?"
You get up from the sofa and go over to where you left your bag. "Since... Mingi is your best friend... I had to ask him what are your preferences..."
You pull out a small box from your bag and nervously approach you boyfriend.
"I can't believe... I'm doing this now... when you're bleeding and being jealous over nothing..."
"I don't... understand..."
You stand in front of him, smiling and blushing a little while hiding the box behind you. "Jeong Yunho..."
He tenses a bit when you call out his full name. You don't usually call him that.
"W-why...?" Suddenly the serious tone in his voice disappears
"The reason why... Mingi and I... have been meeting or talking... more than the usual especislly this month... is because... he's been helping me... like I said..."
To his surprise, you slowly go down on your knees, smiling and then shows him the black velvet box.
"What's that?"
You take a deep breathe; excited to show him what inside and also nervous to actually say what you want to say.
"Yunho... my love..." you are nervously smiling. "Baby..." you open the box to reveal a silver band with a diamond on top. "Advance happy birthday... and... will you marry me?"
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c-u-c-koo-4-40k · 2 months
Text
Got another Husbandry Rambling in the tank so here we go!
Due to some Awesome writing by the many talented authors in the husbandry space @kit-williams @sleepyfan-blog @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @egrets-not-regrets @bleedingichorhearts and others I will also tag cause I'm shit at remembering them all without looking directly at my messages and following list.
I've got some head canons I'd like to offer up!
How are Space Marine's punished for crimes in Husbandry?
Now there seems to be a consensus that those who Kill humans are hunted and culled. That seems to be the standard. This is assuming the offending Astartes goes on the run as soon as the crime is committed. Or that the human killer Astarte(s) have some kind of base where the killing occurs that eventually gets raided.
But what about those who commit lesser crimes? Or those who are apprehended before they can go on the run? Or even ones that aren't feral, but commited their crimes while living amongst the allied bases and humans?
I think Astartes Do have a prosecution system, though probably not one that is perfectly defined.
I imagine for some groups, the Astartes would hold their own responsible. I could see Imperial Fists, Salamanders, Ultramarines and Blood Angels "taking care" of their own bad actors. And for those groups I'd like to believe they'd generally take the task seriously and not just brush off wrong doings.
Others, and I hate to say it's mostly the traitor and chaos legions, might let things they consider "lesser" slide. Like if a Nightlord maims an unbonded human I could see the others of his claw covering for him. So he doesn't get punished.
But of course neither of the above examples are Always accurate. Just examples to help get the picture. There are probably hypocrite loyalists and traitors that meat out proper punishment for offenses.
But I imagine if enough problems add up like with a certain [redacted], and it can't be ignored any longer, the offending Astartes could be captured and put on trial.
The trial would involve reps from different marines hearing out evidence and probably a jury vote to determine guilt. This would occur in situations where the offender isn't caught literally in the act...or the murder den that we've seen in other fics.
But what comes After is what I'm most interested in. Once a marine is determined to be guilty; whether in a trial or by literally being caught in the act, who is in charge of the punishment...or in some cases...the execution?
Some legions would be the ones to remove their own bad actors. It would be a matter of Pride for both them and a small amount of honor for the guilty.
We purge you from our ranks and in doing so make up for the wrongs you've committed.
But what if a Space Marines actions are considered too Vile, too Agregious for an honorable death?
Well...thats when the executioners get involved. And only One Legion truly fits this parameter.
The Night Lords.
They were the Empire's shock troopers, the most frightening of all Astartes to Ever encounter as a mortal.
If the Court feels an Astartes has fallen so far from grace he requires not punishment, not rehabilitation, not even an honorable death, but a painful combination of vengeance and execution....
You call the Nightlords.
You hand the guilty off to them, not just so they may be punished....but so they can be made an Example of.
It is a fate worst than death, reserved Only for the most vile actors of Astarte kind.
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midnightmayhem13 · 4 months
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Hii! Could I request the marvel ladies reaction to reader referring to them as her girlfriend for the first time <33
now i see daylight
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this is so adorable! and ofc coming rightt up(ultra delayed post)
warning!- some suggestive bits(nothing specifically said)
Carol Danvers
once awhile, u and the girls go to a fancy jazz club. usually it's an excuse for you guys to dress up and get wine drunk and wake up feeling refreshed, albeit a lil hungover. this time, you and your lovely gf Carol go as a together. you wore a stunning navy blue dress and she wore a casual navy suit. Carol was drooling over you and she couldn't stop staring at you but you were also obsessing over ur sexy buff ass gf. you walk in hand in hand and go around the party talking to ur friends. you and carol separate for js a moment. when ur friends head home u sit there sipping ur drink alone and a man comes to sit next to you and start bugging you. "hey beautiful, you here alone?" "no im actually with someone" you answer sternly. thanks to Carols quick reflexes, you don't have to suffer long. she puts a firm hand on ur back and kisses the top of ur head. but thanks to the drinks he doesnt take the hint. "why don't u take me home dove; i'll show you want i can do." you and carol giggle. as she's about to say smt, you interupt. "actually" leaning into Carol, putting ur hand on her stomach as her hand goes over ur shoulder. "i'm gonna be taking my beautiful girlfriend home so you can go now." Gosh you've never looked sexier to carol. she honestly js starts fawning over you and lets out a THATS MY GIRL and hugs you super tight bc her heart js melted. you're so proud about being with her and she cannot contain the blush that's on her cheek. you two walk out (ur lipstick all over Carols face and neck) she's so giddy about the events that happened and cannot stop kissing u all over. it's like ur first date all over again and honestly, she can't wait to call u her wife!!
Darcy Lewis
Darcy is the smartest girl you know. and naturally as an Avenger you introduce her to Tony and safe to say he's very impressed with her and pats you on the back for finding such a brilliant girl. everyone likes Darcy too!! she makes you happy, she's hot, she's loyal, and mf is a Dr and an astrophysicist!! you always flaunt that. well when a big company asks the avengers to come work with them bc some sort of anomaly (think wandavision but no one's dead bc i said so) has accured and they need some brains and brawns. while tony and bruce alone were smarter than all of the companies scientists; they bit off more than they could chew. after a few weeks of all the scientists working at it, they only advance a bit. you go home and darcy comes over and you rant to her about it bc ur fed up. and suggest the idea of bringing her to help and she considers it. she spends the night so she might as well tag along and see what she can do. at first the companies big boss disregards her and even tries to push her away from the monitors. you grab his wrist "don't you touch her. and just so yk my girlfriend is smarter than all ur stupid scientists so i suggest you let her take a look so she can fix wtv ur men can't" Darcy is actually frozen to her spot bc that was so hot. the heat from her cheeks spread all the way down and she's at a loss for words. her face turns bright red and she nudges you too stop cutting the guys circulation off (she's well aware you'll break this guys arm for her). she thanks you and kisses ur cheek as she sits down. give her a few hours and BOOM. she's gotten to the bottom of the problem and has two possible ways to fix it, they both end up working. Darcy bugs about how much you brag about her. you give her a whole speech on why she's the greatest women ever as you hold her. she loves you with her whole heart and has never felt safer in her big bad avengers gfs arms.
Maria Hill
Even though Maria is always incredibly busy with Shield, and you with the avengers, you always find time to be together. but being women of high power has never been easy. that being said, both of you get looked down on even after showing ur skill time and time again. so you arrive at headquarters looking for your bad ass gf, carrying with you a few treats so she doesn't forget to eat. as you make ur way towards everyone they seem to be doing their usual thing. you could spot her from a mile away away. she's the most beautiful women you've ever laid eyes on. you approach her. her eyes land on you and her face immediately lights up. she greats you with a tight hug, a kiss on the head and then the lips. she's gotten more comfortable with being affectionate at work, you notice. "thank you baby" she says sweetly, completely contrasting to the harsh tone she uses with her troops. "i'll be back in a second" she goes to tell her most trusted troop to take charge as she steps out for a second. almost as if she cannot live in peace, a scrawny, insecure guy comes out of nowhere and starts complaining about Maria being off duty (who even is he) he starts causes a scene and honestly makes you laugh a bit. you two go to walk off to ignore him and suddenly the hoe grabs you!! yeahh maria is not gonna let this go. but when she goes to interfere but yank your arm away "my girlfriend has all of this under control so why don't you turn around and get back to work, the nerve of you!" Maria jaw is DROPPED. i mean she knew you could get serious but seeing her adorable gf give commands does something to her body. almost as if she's shy being in ur presence. she's sure she's never smiled bigger. you turn around and grab her had and guide her to the break room. she feels like she has a silly little school girl crush as she giddily follows you around.
sharon carter
(this is power broker sharon bc she's hot but no one's dead BC I SAID SO) To say sharon was kinda nervous about telling you about her job was an understatement. i mean you were an avenger but also the love of her life. it was a long talk but you got it to work. anyways you hung around a lot at her place bc hello?? it's huge and you love seeing ur hot gf do illegal ass things bccc she wasn't an avenger level threat (yet) so by ur logic, we're chilling. and she was on okay terms with steve, bucky and sam. when she hosts her auctions you're always welcome to come to them too! you want to be there just in case the worse happens, even tho she's more than capable of controlling it. but that doesn't mean you're safe from any guys or gals that want to hit on you. if they know who you are, you're okay but if they don't know who you are or have a death note they'll hit on you. usually you hang low or by the bar bc sharon's busy at these events. as you sip your favorite margarita you feel a tap on your shoulder. a security guard? "uhm hi can i help you?" you ask politely. unbeknownst to you sharon's watching (she always is) and heading her way over to you. the guards are specifically told not to speak to you unless u speak to them. she's possessive what can you say. "i'm not sure you're on the list your gonna have to step out" he says roughly grabbing ur arm and tugging you off your stool. sharon is basically bolting at this point. "my girlfriends the owner of this place and is the reason you buy ur meals so get off of me" you say and push him back. he's about to tackle you bc yk ego. until he sees an arm snake around your waist. oh sh*t. "get the hell out my house" sharon says and he gets escorted out. you'll probably never hear from him again. sharon grabs your waist and pulls you impossibly close to her as she places her lips on yours. "that was so sexy baby" she says on ur lips. her stern demeanor almost broke when she heard you calling her your girlfriend so proudly. it made her knees want to buckle and she felt like kicking her feet. she finally got the girl of her dreams and u guys were a match made it heaven. she can't stop thinking of this moment for months to come and definitely shows how proud she is of you later that night.
Nebula
nebula thought she was gonna be a lot of things in life. but never did she think she was gonna be the girlfriend of the most beautiful and kind girl in the galaxy. she seriously never expected to ever be blessed by your presence much rather be loved so deeply by you. although she's been weary of love her whole life, you've completely changed her perspective. you love her so deeply it's almost unfathomable. that being said, anything you guys are in a new planet and go explore you always make sure to stick to her side. who's gonna mess with ur big ass blue gf?? not to mention she's possessive with you and aggressive with anyone but you. she's also so gentle with her sweet girl. so you'd expect any on looker to stay away from you bc nebula likes to walk around with her hand on ur butt while holding you close. but when some weird looking dude approaches nebula immediately become alert but all he does is aggressively bump into her "hey watch where the hell your going u got ur dirty paws on my girlfriend!" you yell as you grab wtv the hell is on top of his (maybe hair??) and he has no other choice but to apologize to nebula. when he leaves nebula is left speechless. why are you so proud that ur dating her?she can't control herself tho and pulls you into an ally to passionately make out with you. that was so hot. she lifts you by ur butt and presses you against a wall. you giggle and pull away as she chases ur lips "what's with this nebby?" "i love you." she says hoarsely. she didn't know how to respond to the whole situation. she couldn't care less about what the guy said or didn't say. but you loved her so much and we're so open about it. she was gonna love you forever.
kate bishop
Kates sure you could do something so simple as breathing and she would get giddy. she's no kidding. she absolutely adores you and you adore her. that's why you two just work. and while not all things come to you guys that simple most things do. you to do have your fights but they can usually be resolved with a good talk followed by a movie marathon with pizza and Lucky cuddles. so that's what you guys are doing right now. don't get me wrong, this happens on a weekly bases not just when you guys are having an argument. it's just a chill saturday afternoon, both you and kate resting from having a hard week in training and working with adults who never seemed to be pleased with any improvement in any skill. but anyways. you kate and lucky are all cuddled up on her couch as you decide what movie to pick out. as if it's a 6th sense kate suddenly gasps "we didn't order pizza!" and even lucky pops his head up, distraught by this horrible news. you have a good laugh but kate is seriously concerned about this. you stroke her hair and kiss it and tell her you'll order it rn. kate js smiles snuggly at lucky (who she high fives) as she leans her head on ur tit and receives head rubs. you call her favorite pizza place and order ur usual order while she finds a few movies to binge. thanks to nyc, ur pizza arrives in no time. and when you hear the bell ring you and lucky go answer the door. kates too busy complaining cuz her pillows gone. as you answer the door luckys right there as ur security. "haha your dogs really cute!" says the delivery guy "thank you my girlfriend found him!" you say simply as you tip him and close the door. kate literally gets up and runs around as she squeals. you thought she was just really hungry but after she picks you up when you put the pizza down she tells you other wise. she spins you around and cannot take the big goofy smile off her face. she's left speechless but her smile speaks for her. when you ask her about it your heart melts at how pure she is. the rest of the night she's has that smile on her face as she's resting on ur favorite pillow, you!!
a/n- so sorry this took so long and it's kinda crappy! i was kinda stuck so they all sound similar but hopefully you guys enjoyed! send requests!!🤍🤍
stay safe hoes🤍
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amimuu · 5 months
Note
A splurg of questions if thats okay: What does VTA Lamb and Narinder do on a daily basis? What are their sleeping arrangments? Routines? How does Narinder navigate the touchy awkwardness currently? Does Lamb ever ask anything of Narinder outside of being put to rest when all is done? (Is there ever any hesitancy about that still, on either side?)
OHHHHH ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS I SEE
Alr lemme think UHHHHH….this is gonna be a long one brace yourselves
What do they do on a daily basis/their routines?
Well, excluding crusades…
Lamb: basically it goes like, morning sermon, checking on the disciples individually, checking on how they are doing on supplies and stuff like that, and just going around the cult making sure everything is working properly, sometimes sending a follower or two on errands to get more stuff if needed. They normally have a little checklist with them to not forget (which they tend to make the night prior). They also go on walks sometimes, in which Narinder usually tags along (I think I answered an ask about this before but am not sure). They walk in silence 80% of the time, and sometimes they stop by the Lamb’s favorite spot (a tree up a small hill close to the limits of the cult grounds). After this Lamb goes back to their room and does NOT sleep unless they really really need to (which can be up to 6 days without sleep)
Narinder on the other side: wakes up, Morning sermon, checking the protection he set around the cult is still working, cleaning the Lamb’s statue (and leaving offerings, usually flowers), following the Lamb around a bit, checking on the Lambs’ memorial altar (set up by the lamb when they first started crusading. Narinder started taking care of it after they died), and then if it is a silent walk day he just goes and tags along. Sometimes he tries to give gifts to the Lamb, but they are usually rejected or immediately disposed of. Still, doesn’t discourage him. After the walk or if there was no walk at all he goes back to his hut and sleeps. Lemme say that cat sleeps a LOT. Which brings us to the next question
Sleeping arrangements:
It’s basically like this.
Both their sleep schedules are concerning for very different reasons. Lamb doesn’t sleep nearly enough, practically avoiding it like the plague. It was easier when they had the crown cuz sleeping was more of a choice, but now that they are stuck in a semi-mortal body that has semi-mortal needs it’s not as easy as it was. They dread it. Because every time they go and sleep there’s a new nightmare waiting for them. About what? About what not, really. They are haunted. And funnily enough Narinder barely shows up in these dreams, and when he does it’s usually in the form of a memory or a comforting presence. Usually
So yeah avoid sleep at all costs!!
And then there’s Nari who just sleeps an unhealthy amount of time ever since he was freed. The cultists assumed he probably needed big amounts of sleep for some reason and just rolled with it. They were wrong. In fact Narinder doesn’t need to sleep AT ALL, but he enjoys it. He finds his dreams comforting especially cuz a certain someone tends to show up. Before resurrecting the Lamb this was his way to process his grief, but after resurrecting them he is finding it very hard to leave the habit behind and honestly? Why should he. Now,
How does Narinder handle the touchy awkwardness?
Oh boy does he struggle. Lamby here tolerates his presence but they made their point clear. They don’t wanna talk. And Narinder respects that, begrudgingly. He does however, bring them gifts as mentioned before, hoping this can somehow ease things a little between them (This is the way in which he knows to give affection, offerings.), but naturally it is ineffective. He is protective of them too, but mostly from afar.
Does Lamb ever ask anything from Narinder aside from their initial request?
Sometimes, but it’s rare. They do however ask him at one point to please take better care of himself. And other stuff later on in the story. But currently, just the occasional “Please go get this or that” or asking for his company during crusades, mostly cuz that’s both their responsibility.
And so we get to the best one.
Is there any hesitancy about it?
OH BOY IS THERE. A big chunk of the main arc revolves around what they both truly want and have wanted for a long time but their lack of communication kept them from. Narinder straight up hates the idea of having to let Lamb go again. While the Lamb is exhausted and feels betrayed, but a part of them wishes to remain with Narinder for the rest of eternity, so that makes things more complicated
See, they’ll eventually talk this all out but that’s after they actually start crusading and are basically obligated to spend time together. Everything I listed here eventually starts to shift as the story progresses , shifts that include Narinder getting into knitting to avoid sleeping all day, discussions about what ifs, lamb accepting some gifts and eventually asking Nari to please not go where they can’t follow. Fun stuff :]
HOPEFULLY THAT WASNT TOO LONG OF A RAMBLE (who am I kidding it was UHM.) and also hope very much it answered your questions :>!!!
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twstwinnie · 1 year
Note
Oh gosh I just stumbled on your writings your writing is so nice!, and I loved in a relationship with jamil and floyd they were so good 😭,im sorry if your getting a buncha these now may I request in a relationship with azul if thats ok?
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✎ With You ~ Azul Ashengrotto
summary: the highly requested in a relationship with Azul! usual three categories! crushing, confession, and dating!
tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, gn! reader
a/n: I adore azul— this just took me forever bc of writer’s block! but!! here he is! i’ll probably spin a wheel for who I do next, but if you’re curious, the current requested are: jack, epel, sebek, kalim, riddle, jade, and vil! so if you were looking out for them, they’re coming soon! also, i‘ve been considering making a tag list, so yeah! anyway, enjoy azul!! — winnie <3
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✎ starry - eyed !
» Azul is the type to vehemently deny any feelings he may have towards you. When you first met, he assumed that his interest in you was nothing more than seeing you as a potential business prospect. He kept a close eye on you, but as time went on, his excuses became feeble in the face of what he felt.
» He’d keep insisting that your meetups are “business research,” even going as far as taking notes after every meeting in hopes to convince himself that that’s all it was. However, as time goes on, he finds that he doesn’t even think about finances or his business when he’s with you. He becomes entirely invested in conversations with you and the happenings of your life.
» Upon realizing that he isn’t doing the “research” he foolishly told himself he was doing, his avoidant tactics only increase in strength. He didn’t like you— he couldn’t.
» He wants to convince himself that it’s bad business to get emotionally involved— that there’s no room for romance in his world, but deep down, he knows it’s all an excuse. Truth be told, Azul is terrified at the prospect of liking you.
» With his history of bullying, Azul doesn’t have much of a positive self-image. The people close to him know that his confidence is fragile, and the bravado he hides behind is built on a foundation of power. However, when it comes to the romance world, Azul is playing on an even field with everyone else that may like you.
» In such a world, Azul fears that he has nothing to offer you.
» You’re kind and generous in a way no one else is. Azul’s underhanded tactics aren’t a suitable offering for you. And if power and money doesn’t appeal to you— what then? What can Azul possibly offer to you? What did he have that made him the most suitable option out of the countless people vying for your hand?
» Nothing. That’s what. That’s why Azul cannot like you. Because if he did, it’d be futile.
» There is no contract. He’d be giving his whole heart to you with no guarantee that you’d give anything in return. He’d leave himself vulnerable to being positively crushed by rejection. He could handle losing in business— such losses came with the field, but in love? Tell him— what proven strategies can be put in place to prevent pain or heartbreak? What insurance is there when your heart is tattered with the pain of rejection?
» There is none, and Azul knows this for certain. However, as time goes on, he finds himself unable to deny his feelings any longer as he spends more time with you.
» You happily listen to his business ramblings, propose event ideas for the Lounge, and you’ve even mastered the art of reigning in the Leech Twins. You fit in so perfectly into his life, but that only terrifies him more. He finds himself scared of losing you, but unable to commit himself to the idea of being infatuated by you.
» In response to this standstill, he draws away from you. This way, he becomes used to your absence instead of your presence. Then, should you learn of his feelings, the rejection won’t feel as harsh.
» What he doesn’t anticipate, however, is that you take notice. You recognize this behavior almost immediately. Not only that, you call him out on it.
» “Azul, why are you avoiding me?” you ask as you walk into the VIP room. Azul pauses, surprised at your sudden presence.
» “I— well… What gave you such an idea?” he questions, attempting to play oblivious. You roll your eyes.
» “Ashengrotto. I know you better than most. I can see through that farce of yours. I’m not mad or anything, I’m just worried,” you say as you sit in front of him. “Is it the lounge? Studying? Do you need my help with something?”
» The gentleness in your tone warms his heart. His face flushes red involuntarily. “What would you want in return?” he questions. You laugh.
» “This again? Nothing, Azul. I just want to help you because I like seeing you happy. So? Did something happen?” you ask, tilting your head curiously. Azul looks away, biting back a fond smile.
» He supposes that, if you’re offering, he might as well get clarification on his situation. Of course, he does so without telling you it’s about you.
» After he explains everything, you hum a bit.
» “Well, why are you so hung up on what you bring to the table?” you inquire. Azul halts.
» “Pardon?” Azul tilts his head.
» “Well, what I mean is that a relationship isn’t transactional, y’know? It’s not about if you can bring ‘power’ or ‘money’ to a relationship. In fact, I’d say that that’s useless,” you insist. Azul hums.
» “Then, what do you suppose is the most important quality?” he asks.
» You smile softly. “Aside from being a decent person? Whether or not the person you like likes you back. I know you don’t like things being out of your control, but that’s the truth. I mean— you like this person because you simply enjoy their company, right? Not because they bring anything to you,” you explain. Azul nods.
» “That… is correct,” he mumbles.
» “Exactly. So, who’s to say it’s any different for them? If they like your company, that’s more than enough. They won’t need power, fame, money, or any of that. In a relationship, you and your effort are enough, Azul.”
» Azul’s eyes go wide as you explain that to him. While yes, it’s a simple concept, it’s something an over thinker like him easily forgets. He can’t help but smile softly and thank you for your advice.
» It’s then and there that he decides he must confess to you. Not only did he already like you, but the way you approached his problem with a level head and a kind demeanor only solidified to him that you completed him. When he approached a situation with logic, you reminded him that sometimes, it was better to be emotional. And when he got too emotional, you grounded him with logic. Above all else, though, you support him through so much.
» And Azul is nothing if not competitive. He refused to lose to someone else. He had to show initiative and confess to you first. If he does, you’d know how serious he is about you.
» With that, he quickly starts drafting up a few ideas.
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✎ say the words !
» In the journey to come up with the perfect confession to win your affections, Azul faces many obstacles. The biggest one being his competition.
» Azul tasked Jade and Floyd to keep tabs on people who also sought your companionship. This resulted in the knowledge that, apparently, you were getting confessed to on a near weekly basis. Jade mentioned a few names, but they were all faceless students that he didn’t quite remember.
» While Floyd, with a strangely giddy expression, would always report that you rejected the potential suitor, Azul still became nervous. Would the next confession be a rejection, or would you accept? How would his confession stand out amid so many others? Were you even interested in romance, or did you already have someone else in mind?
» Eventually, Azul decides that collaboration is the best way to go about it. Attempting to find an idea himself is like talking into an echo chamber— it results in no progress. Initially, he turns to the twins for assistance, but they both give him eerie smiles. Instead of helping, they insist that it’s “fun to watch him figure things out,” thus denying any assistance.
» Azul knows he won’t be able to convince them otherwise, so he seeks help elsewhere. He considers a few options: Jamil, Riddle, and Ruggie, but ultimately decides that those are people he’d rather not be open and vulnerable with. Eventually, he settles on discussing the matter with Idia during their club hours. While he was certain the other lacked romantic knowledge, he at least knew that he’d receive brutal honesty in regards to the situation.
» “Idia. I have an inquiry regarding a personal matter,” Azul starts. Idia narrows his eyes at him.
» “Uh… I have no interest in your shady dealings,” he mumbles. Azul huffs.
» “It has nothing to do with my perfectly sound business practices!” Azul shakes his head. “Actually, it has to do with romance.”
» “Huh?! Romance?! Whaaat… so even a shady antagonist can have a heart,” Idia mumbles before continuing. “Uhhh my knowledge doesn’t extend beyond video games. Why bother asking me?”
» “Because I know you’ll be impartial. Anyway, I have a… friend that I’m rather fond of,” Azul starts, but Idia quickly cuts him off.
» “Not to ruin your moment, but I know who you’re talking about. You’ve got low-tier stealth stats. It’s obvious you like them,” Idia mentions with a sigh. “I mean, they’re oblivious to it, but still. I’m guessing you want some s-rank confession to woo them?”
» Azul pauses, shutting his mouth and huffing. “Yes, I want to… ‘woo’ them. I have no idea how, though. I’ve drafted countless ideas, but all of them seem plain. During lunch hardly seems romantic, and the beach seems cliche. I’m at a loss,” Azul admits. Idia stares at him for a few moments.
» “Please tell me this is some weird joke. Are you being real right now?” Idia deadpans.
» “What? I’m hardly joking! I’m truly at a loss. Why else would I request assistance?” Azul mutters. Idia groans.
» “This is like grinding hours for a total OP secret weapon, then not even using it in the final battle,” Idia mumbles. “You have your glitzy lounge, right? Close it for a day and confess there. Seriously, I’m a newbie in romance and I could even think of that.”
» Azul goes silent as he thinks about it. He’d always viewed the Monstro Lounge as nothing more than a business prospect. Though, the atmosphere was certainly ideal. He made sure of it himself. You did quite enjoy studying there, too.
» Azul let out a long sigh. It was so obvious that he almost wanted to slap himself for not seeing it sooner.
» “That is a great idea, Idia. Thank you. I’ll close it down early Friday night, then. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have many preparations to make. And a lifetime of embarrassment to work through for not realizing such a simple solution,” Azul insists, quickly leaving the club room.
» With that, his plan is in motion. Jade and Floyd, while not willing to help him previously, are now willing to help put his plan into motion. They ensure that the Lounge is fully closed that night and pass on the invitation to you. Floyd cooks a specialized menu Azul put together, and Jade helps decorate for the occasion.
» After everything is ready, Azul awaits your arrival nervously. Floyd and Jade keep him company, though mostly tease him for being so clearly anxious.
» “Azul. At this rate, I’m afraid you’ll break the seat with how tightly you’re gripping it,” Jade mentions. Azul straightens, pulling his hands away from the chair he’d been leaning on.
» “Eh? To be fair his nervousness could be faaaaar worse. Imagine if we told him what we saw earlier~” Floyd teases. Azul tenses.
» “Oya, Floyd. We said we wouldn’t mention that to him. Now look at him. He’s even more fearful than before.” Jade smiles simply. Floyd laughs a bit.
» “Ah, well. Too late~ You know, they got confessed to earlier. It was another random bottom feeder, but~ figured it’d be better that you knew,” Floyd sings, smirking. Jade chuckles.
» “It shouldn’t be an issue. I’m certain,” Jade says. Before Azul can pry for details, footsteps echo through the lounge. “Oh? Seems our guest of honor is here. Good luck, Azul.”
» With that, Jade leaves, Floyd following him out. Azul lets out a shaky sigh and turns to face you, putting on his usual expression as you walk over, eyes wide as you take in the decor. Dainty lights were strung overhead and gentle flowers decorated the tables.
» “Wow, this is pretty. I knew you were closing early today, but I had no idea it was for this. What’s the occasion?” you ask with a bright grin. Azul smiles, pulling out your chair for you.
» “There’s no occasion. It’s simply a gift to you,” Azul states, seating himself after you. You give him a teasing smirk.
» “What’s this? Azul Ashengrotto giving me a gift with no strings attached? Color me surprised~” you hum. Azul blushes and rolls his eyes playfully.
» “You're speaking as if this is a one-time occasion. I’ve gifted you plenty in the past, you know. Or have you forgotten my generosity already?” Azul asks, faking a pout. You laugh gently.
» “Of course I haven’t forgotten. I could never forget the generosity and kindness that rivals that of the Sea Witch. I dunno… I guess it almost makes me feel special!” you mention. Azul pauses for a moment before looking at you.
» “It’s because you are special,” he blurts out suddenly. Your eyes widen and you go speechless. For a moment, the silence weighs heavy between you both before he clears his throat.
» “Forgive me… I know you’ve already leant your ear to another for a confession today, but could you listen to one more?” Azul asks softly, vulnerability lacing his tone. You wordlessly nod, keeping your eyes on him. Azul shifts a bit under your gaze but persists.
» “I’ve felt this strong affinity for you for quite some time now. At first, I thought it was just a mutually beneficial friendship, but then… I realized it was more than that. I tried to distance myself out of fear, but you managed to stop me before I could get far. You’ve always been good at recognizing when something’s troubling me.” Azul gives you a fond smile before continuing.
» “You reminded me that relationships don’t need to be transactional. That I’m enough. I greatly enjoy your company. I know you don’t want my money or my power, but it feels wrong to confess empty-handed. So, instead, in this verbal contract, I’d like to offer you two things.
» “First, a promise. I promise to do all in my power to make you happy, and to be a suitable partner. But more importantly, I’d like to offer you my heart. I cherish you more than any other. All I ask for in return… is an answer. Will you accept my confession, and the terms of my verbal contract?” Azul looks at you with bated breath. The air is tense and you don’t say a word, but soon, a few tears slip down your cheeks. Azul’s eyes widen and he rushes to your side.
» Before he can inquire about your well-being, you wrap your arms tightly around him, nuzzling your face in his neck.
» “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for that? Great Seven, I’ve rejected so many people just hoping that you might eventually say something. Yes. Of course I’ll accept. I’d love to be with you, Azul,” you express happily. Azul lets out a relieved sigh, embracing you and reveling in the feeling.
» “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. You have my sincerest apologies,” Azul mumbles. You shake your head, pulling back to smile at him.
» “You’ll always be worth the wait, Azul.”
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✎ at last , with you !
» Unsurprisingly, given that they were eavesdropping the entire time, the Leech twins are the first to learn about you and Azul’s relationship. Now that you two are together, they reveal that they’ve known the feeling was mutual the entire time.
» Azul gapes at them, angrily asking why they hadn’t said anything sooner. Naturally, they respond that it’s far more interesting to let these things play out without interference. As irritated as he is at the notion, Azul feels grateful. He feels much more sound in his decision since he had time to truly think it over.
» However, that brings up more curious questions to him. How long have you liked him? Who else knew of your feelings? Was he the only one kept in the dark?
» With a laugh, you express that you’ve liked him for quite some time now. This shocks Azul beyond words, but it also makes him feel elated and secure in his relationship with you. He can’t help but feel just a tad cocky. All of these people were confessing to you, yet you still chose him? It’s quite the phenomenon!
» Of course, as usual, you insist that he’s the phenomenal one. You waited for him because you loved him, and that’s a fact he should never doubt. Azul knows it’ll be a struggle to get past his insecurities fully, but when he’s with you, it feels like that goal is far more manageable.
» As your relationship develops, you two eventually find a nice balance. Azul is still running a business in tandem with his studies, so he gets incredibly busy, but you have your own obligations, too. You’d think that you’d have no time to spend together, but Azul goes out of his way to make time for you.
» Whether you’re silently reading in his office while he works, or he’s going over paperwork in your room while you’re studying, you two always find ways to spend time together. Even if it��s just being together in silence while you’re both working, Azul feels at home. Being in your presence is enough to soothe him.
» However, every so often, your schedules align and you’re able to go on a proper date together. Azul plans these as far in advance as he possibly can. The moment he notices that your free time lines up, he’s planning a proper date with you.
» Azul is (secretly) a hopeless romantic, so he adores having romantic dates with you. When caught up in a cold world filled with emotionless business decisions, it feels nice for him to be able to step away into the warmth of your company. So, his dates reflect that accordingly. Whether it be a private dinner or a stroll beneath the stars, he makes sure every date is one to remember.
» You allow Azul to be himself when he’s with you. He isn’t trying to run a business, make deals, or keep his grades up. There is no facade for him to upkeep when with you. He’s the same, sensitive octomer that he's always been ever since he was young.
» At first, Azul is still weary of being vulnerable around you. After all, you’re his beloved partner! He can’t stand to show a shameless side of himself to you. He wants you to think highly of him. He wants to show you his best. He can’t imagine what you might think of him if he were to show you that younger, weaker side of himself, let alone his merform!
» This all changes after his overblot, though. You easily notice the build-up of stress and the increase in contracts, given that you’re always by Azul’s side. In the beginning, you turn a blind eye to it all, but once your friends get involved, it’s hard for you to play clueless much longer.
» You assist in the plan to take him down, fully expecting Azul to hate you for it. Azul expects much of the same. He took things too far, and he hurt you. When you tried to get him to stop on your own, he didn’t listen. Instead, he pushed himself beyond what he was capable of and showcased the ugliest parts of himself to you.
» When he wakes up, you expect him to be angry. Instead, you’re met with a look of sorrowful shame. Azul can’t meet your gaze, face flushed red and eyes glossy with tears.
» “I-I’m sorry… I’ve shown you something so unsightly and I nearly hurt you,” he mumbles. He mentally braces himself for the breakup— for you to turn away and leave him behind. The worst part about it? He’s powerless to stop you. He’s lost all of his contracts, but he doesn’t care about that anymore if it means losing you, too.
» However, he’s surprised to find that you don’t leave. You let out a relieved sigh, smiling at him warmly.
» “Azul. I’m hurt that you went that far, but I’m more hurt that you didn’t tell me you were struggling so much. I love you. All parts of you. You didn’t show me anything strange. In fact, I’m glad I saw everything,” you explain gently, leaning your head against his.
» Azul regards you with a fragile expression, eyes wide. “You… aren’t leaving? Why? Why stay?” Azul questions. You hum gently, running your fingers through his hair.
» “Because one mistake doesn’t define who you are as a person. You’re still my Azul, even with your past, present, and future mistakes. I love you as is, good and bad. I’m just glad you’re okay,” you mumble. Finally, in such an intimate moment, Azul fully lets his guard down and allows tears to slip.
» “I thought I lost you, too. I don’t care for those petty contracts if it means you’ll no longer love me,” Azul’s voice cracks as he speaks. You gently wipe his tears away, smiling as you pepper his face with gentle kisses.
» “You could never lose me, Azul. My heart is yours. Nothing will change that. Now, come on. You still need to heal, so rest. I’ll be here when you awaken again.”
» Throughout his recovery, you remain dutifully by Azul’s side. He feels incredibly grateful to you for it. You saw the things he tried so hard to erase and accepted him in his entirety. His true form, his pain, his past— none of it phased you. If anything, it gave you a better understanding of him.
» Azul gradually returns to his usual, slightly arrogant self, but you can see the change clear as day. He still uses his usual dealings and business practices, but he no longer uses it as a means of coping with his perceived weakness. Instead, when he does feel that lingering doubt, he turns to you for support.
» And when he’s resting in your arms after a hard day of managing the lounge, he knows that he has no need to hoard power for the sake of protecting himself.
» After all, his heart is in the most capable hands possible.
» He’s yours. And that’s all he’ll ever need.
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— fin.
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elkieanddoppo · 1 month
Text
as i scroll through the kunichuuzai tag, i laugh at myself. bc the other writers is consistent with their tags (like if it's angst, fluff, or smut. i usually see fluff tho). and then theres me who usually write or think of angst ideas (mostly of kunikida) bc i live for angst.
for example, established kunichuuzai where kunikida is feeling left out.
chuuzai do their best in not leaving kunikida out because why not? hes the reason why three of them are together in the first place (bc chuuya and dazai are in a situationship and then they fell in love w kuni and was in a competetive state for a while until they realize they like each other too. thats when they decided to ask kuni out. kuni was surprised too, at first, but he thoroughly thought about it before he agreed to it)
ANW, every night after he comes home from overtime work, kunikida goes in a state where he overthinks (and tonight was no exception) and mostly he overthinks about their relationship. esp about how dazai and chuuya has known each other the longest.
kunikida doesnt understand why theyre both with him. was it pity? did they pity him bc hes the only single member left in the ada (excluding kenji and kyouka)? was that it?
he sighs every minute and enters the room where both of his lovers are. they were arguing with each other. but at the same time, theyre laughing. theyre happy. if kunikida breaks up with them, will they care? will they run after him and tell him that it isn't a break up if not all parties agreed to it?
or will they be happy that kunikida is finally gone and now, it's only the two of them? the two of them. dazai and chuuya are perfect of each other. he shouldn't have been here. HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HER--
his thoughts were interrupted when chuuya called him from where he is. he snapped from his thoughts and blinked, realizing that both of them were looking at him worriedly, with dazai approaching kuni.
"kunikida-kun~ is everything alright?" dazai asked him as he hugged him.
startled, kunikida stuttered: "y-yes. *coughs* im alright". he never stutters. even when against the port mafia. so that alarmed both of his lovers.
chuuya approached the both and carried them with the help of his ability.
"oh, the slug is showing off" dazai smirked
"shut up, mackerel." chuuya rolled his eyes.
whenever this happens, kunikida usually chuckle but now he's just staring at nothing.
when they reached their bedroom, chuuya put dazai and kunikida down gently. dazai continues to pat kuni's head to calm him down while chuuya climbs up the bed and crawls up to them.
"doppo?" chuuya started. "you know we're here for you."
kunikida is embarrassed. he cant believe hes getting emotional over this. so what if thats true? what if they only pity him thats why theyre together? what if he--
"doppo." it was dazai this time, who was currently twirling kunikida's hair.
kunikida sighs. "im sorry. it isn't a big deal. dont worry."
chuuya raise his eyebrow. "you think you can fool us, doppo?"
"what?" kunikida coughed. again.
dazai snickered at this, "you've been coughing since earlier. you dont even have a cold. doppoooooo, you /know/ you cant fool us!!!!!"
...
" im just overthinking.."
"about what? hm?" -chuuya
a tear dropped down and it startled dazai and he stopped twirling the blonde's hair.
"doppo?! whats wrong? you know you can always tell us when youre ready. i- we want to know what's troubling the love of our life but we also dont want you to feel uncomfortable." chuuya said as he wiped the tears from kunikida's face
kuni lowers his head. "do you.. do you ever regret dating me? did you two just pity me? was that why you suddenly asked me out? im not even special so i dont know why anyone would love me esp you two. you're already perfect for each other. i know you've loved each other since forever. what, 6? 7 years? before i came into the picture.i feel like im just intruding..." kunikida was cut off by chuuya kissing him on the lips and dazai kissing him on the neck.
"w..what."
"sorry, i wanted to kiss the ridiculousness out of you."
"would have still teased the living hell out the slug if it wasnt for you, kunikida-kun."
"huh.."
"you still do mackerel.. well anw, doppo. time doesnt have anything to do with the intensity of our feelings. plus, i wouldnt date that bandage trash if i couldnt have you too."
"you wound me, shortie!! but yeah, i agree with him, kunikida-kun. i think i'd kill myself if you rejected me even tho i already knew back then that i l- that i appreciated the slug and vice versa. i dont think i could ever live without you, doppo."
kunikida was blushing the whole time. he didnt know his partners felt this. maybe he has been too selfish this time. he didnt think of his lovers' perspective.
" im so sorry if you ever felt that we dont love you back and were leaving you out. i promised it isnt anything like that. it's mostly just this trash is super clingy.."
"im not!" dazai said as he clinged to kunikida (hugging him). chuuya looked at him and smirked, "sure."
"you.. havent. it's just my head saying stuff...." kunikida mumbled.
chuuya smiled and snuggled closer to kunikida. "if it makes you feel better, i sometimes feel jealous that you two are in the same organization. not like i'll ever quit the port mafia though." chuuya chuckled
"awww, chuuya is such a baby." dazai reached his hand to tickle chuuya's waist. but it was unsuccessful bc he couldnt properly do it. chuuya stucke his tongue out, teasing the brunette.
kunikida giggled. HE GIGGLED. OH MY GOD THAT LAUGH WAS SO HEAVENLY. dazai and chuuya almost died.
"i love you both." kunikida said as he kissed both of their forehead.
"i love you too, doppo." chuuya smiled sweetly and cuddled closer.
"love you, kunikida-kun!"
and then they slept with content smiles.
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goldfades · 1 year
Text
✮ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲!, zegras' have more fun au
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♡ ─ summary | it's y/n's 19th birthday back in 2022!
♡ ─ warnings | unedited, nothing except some cursing, literally nothing i don't think??
♡ ─ taglist | tbd (check link in navigation!)
♡ ─ ev's notes | okay guys!!! i have a few announcements for y'all! 1 - i've decided that after this post, this won't be a reader insert because...
2 - i am planning to make this a series!!!!!! one of my oc's for this au, brie, will be having her own spinoff with luca fantilli (maybe, we will see...) and it will be confusing so that's why i decided to make the zegras!sister an oc!!!!!!! i will be posting some polls (bc here we are a democracy here 🫡) for the name & brie's love interest so keep a lookout for that!
3 - PLEASE SEND IN SOME ASKS FOR THIS AU! i am running out of ideas quickly, so please send in your thoughts!!!! anyways, that's it lol. sorry for the long A/N!
back to navigation back to AU masterlist
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ynzegras ann arbor, michigan
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Liked by trevorzegras, briesbagels, lhughes_06 and 8,694 more
ynzegras | glow day with my girls <3 (+ parker)
tagged: briesbagels, avazegras, frienduser1, frienduser2, pchandler68 september 1, 2022
View all 638 comments
briesbagels | birthday bitch!!!! yesss!!!!!!!!!
briesbagels | SHE FLEW ME OUT TO MICHIE IT WAS SO FUN
↳ ynzegras shoulda went to umich instead of uc berk 🙄
↳ lucafantilli ik, shes so much fun too bad she goes to berk 😑
↳ pchandler68 🤨📸
avazegras | OLD LADY !!!!!!!!!
↳ ynzegras shut up. ur literally 2 yrs younger. ur close behind
pchandler68 | ACTUAL photo creds this time!!!!!!
↳ briesbagels all you this time😌
↳ ynzegras thanks park for doing ur job
↳ pchandler68 so u just invited me to ur photographer??
↳ ynzegras yeah it was going to JUST BE A GIRLS NIGHT but ur welcome
↳ lhughes_06 ya she didn't invite me😑
↳ jackhughes or me 😐
↳ ynzegras where tf did u come from???
↳ jackhughes @/elhughes
↳ ynzegras bruh...
_alexturcotte | happy birthday sistaaaa 🩵
↳ ynzegras thanks turcs 🫶🏼
trevorzegras | HAPPY BIRTHDAY *ACTUAL* SISTER
↳ _alexturcotte 😐
↳ ynzegras ty king, almost as old as you 🥰🥰🥰
↳ trevorzegras is she ... being nice for once??????
↳ ynzegras ur making me seem like im a total bitch, im literally so nice
↳ griffinzegras 🤨
↳ pchandler68 🤨🤨
jackhughes | happy birthday, u get my venmo???? 😁😁
↳ ynzegras yes thank you king, finally paying me back for all those times i paid for your coffee
↳ jackhughes u mean literally 3 times??? bro??
↳ ynzegras yeah with ur fucking girly ass 8 dollar drink
↳ jackhughes ok miss "can i get a matcha frap no whip with oatmilk and vanilla cold foam"
↳ ynzegras awww ur memorized my drink 🤞🏼🤞🏼
↳ trevorzegras stop sending money to my sister jack, she has enough
↳ jackhughes no
lhughes_06 | happy birthday 🫶🏼 hope u had fun with ur "girls"
↳ ynzegras thank u AND YES I DID.
↳ lhughes_06 could've invited me, i could've put on a wig
↳ ynzegras no
↳ briesbagels no
_quinnhughes | HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE Z 💘😁
↳ ynzegras ily big hughes
↳ trevorzegras wow...
↳ ynzegras 🤑🤑
lucafantilli | happy birthday 💩
↳ ynzegras thanks king 😇
↳ lucafantilli now can u be our manager 🤓
↳ ynzegras NO. I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.
adamfantilli | happy birthday little zegras 🥳🥳
↳ _quinnhughes thats kind of a me thing... ummm
↳ ynzegras thanks little fantilli 😗
↳ _quinnhughes im such a trend setter 😝😝
markestapa | HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANAGERRRR 😍😍
↳ ynzegras gtfo
↳ markestapa ily too 🤩
edwards.73 | happy 19 freshie 😌🥳🥳🥳
↳ ynzegras thank you ethan 😛
griffinzegras | happy birthday bio sister
↳ _alexturcotte bro.
↳ ynzegras ily, you shoulda come
↳ griffinzegras u and brie literally kicked me out at the door even though i flew out for u
↳ ynzegras WE HAD DINNER OKAY????
juliezegras | happy birthday beautiful daughter, had a great time in ann arbor and will be coming back 🩷🩷
↳ ynzegras ily momma 🥹
trevorzegras anaheim, california
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Liked by ynzegras, _alexturcotte, jackhughes and 15,096 more
trevorzegras | 19th bday versus 9th birthday 🥹
happy 19 to my little sister, you never fail to make me proud, you're so special to me and i can't wait to see how you will suceed, me and the whole fam will be there front row to cheer you on forever. you're amazing, never forget that my fav striker 🩷🩷 p.s: you will get your gift when you send me back my north face tshirt u stole tagged: ynzegras ugust 31, 2022
View all 2,438 comments
ynzegras | i love you trev 🥹 also ur not getting back that shirt
↳ trevorzegras no gift for you then
↳ ynzegras k.
↳ trevorzegras jk your package will be there in 2-3 days
↳ ynzegras ily you know me so well
ynzegras | ily but you misspelled succeed
↳ trevorzegras wait really??
↳ ynzegras yeah edit it, love u but its embarrassing
↳ trevorzegras how do u do that??
↳ ynzegras 😐😐
fanuser1 | awww, i forgot trevor had siblings but they're so cute
↳ fanuser2 ikr, they look sm alike tho i see it
↳ ynzegras i do not look like a fish 😑
↳ fanuser2 LMAO PLEASE DAMN
griffinzegras | AWWW fetus y/n, back when she wasn't a bitch
↳ ynzegras shut up griffin im serious.
↳ griffinzegras u didn't disagree tho 😶
avazegras | i'm crying. we were so small 😪
↳ ynzegras dw we are still petite af
↳ avazegras LMAO PLEASE BE SERIOUS Y/N
juliezegras | my babies 🥰🥹
↳ trevorzegras momma 💘
briesbagels | baby y/n 🥹 so cute
↳ ynzegras I KNOW
pchandler68 | throwback to when y/n was actually cute, WHAT HAPPENEDDD
↳ ynzegras ik you're not talking mr. 5head, at least i was a cute kid
↳ pchandler68 WDYM I WAS ADORABLE???
↳ ynzegras yeah whatever helps you sleep at night babe
jackhughes | AWWWWWWWWWWW
fanuser3 | isn't she dating one of the hughes brothers??
↳ fanuser4 NO WHAT SHE ISNT, TREVOR WOULD KILL THEMMM
↳ fanuser3 no i swear i saw a pic of them kissing on pinterest
↳ fanuser5 i thought that was luke
↳ fanuser4 DAYUMMM SHES GETTING THE WHOLE CREW WOW
↳ fanuser6 guys please be fr, shes not gonna be dating jack hughes. this isn't a fanfic 😑😑
228 notes · View notes
loving-n0t-heyting · 4 months
Note
Hi! So, seeing you in my notes reminded me that I meant to ask you about that Instrumentality poll. Being as I am tumblr user 人類補完計画, I have, asyoumightimagine, a lot of interest in the topic, and I'd be very curious to hear *your* thoughts on Shinji's choice - in part because you mentioned in the tags that you were wondering whether your take aligned with the consensus view, but also because I feel like you're among the most distinctive & intellectually honest philosophical voices I've encountered on here, and I do wonder how your faith, along with your overall view on things, influences your take(s) re:EoE.
I was going to wait until the poll finally closed but i think its been plateauing for a couple of days now anyway so i might as well. This is all going to be pretty vague and mysticism-y ofc, especially given the vagueness and mysticism of the source material itself, and im going off of memory on top of that (i am not putting myself thru the emotional hurdle of rewatching EoE just for a post, sorry)
So, first off, my interpretation of shinjis ultimate choice is to reject instrumentality for all of humanity, to retain our ATFs and our individuality. And i lean towards thinking this was a mistake, on his part. I sometimes see ppl suggest that he offered everyone a choice to either join or refuse instrumentality, but i tend to think this is just projection; idr anything in the text to clearly support this
Im not really sure how to go about arguing for this position directly, beyond rebutting objections. To the extent we are given a clear explanation of what an ATF is, it is smth like the secrecy of our own thoughts and desires and personality; ie, others ignorance of those things. Ignorance is a terrible thing, just generally, in itself! Like impotence. Its terrible in proportion to the importance/value of the things one is ignorant of, and ppl are about the most valuable things there are. Thats much of whats so bad about death, which is why it makes perfect sense the dead get to join in HI as well. So, putting it all together, the presence of ATFs is a terrible imposition, and their removal thru HI is a great blessing, maybe even the greatest possible blessing. And this shows itself in the end of strife and discord and the beginning of real unity of spirit and will, but its already present in the mere dissolution of interpersonal ignorance
The narrative itself frames this as an erasure of individuality, but im not sure how to understand this. Is the idea supposed to be that we would not survive the loss of our ATFs? Im not sure thats even intelligible: the loss of our ATFs is just the lifting of certain kinds of ignorance or, in other words, the instilling of certain kinds of knowledge. Knowledge in whom? In those undergoing human instrumentality. So clearly we survive HI, if it involves us coming into knowledge, and thus being around to know these things. Is this supposed to mean our distinctive contributions to the diversity of human experience etc would all be destroyed in favour of some uniform replacement? I dont see why that would be necessary; we can certainly imagine ways ppls varying idiosyncratic quirks can all "make it into" some sufficiently rich collaborative work. Why should HI not be the same? I suppose the fact it involves everyones bodies into a homogeneous sea of yellow goop speaks against this, but my inclination is to read this as a sort of pupal stage from which a mature instrumentalised humanity can emerge. Tho thats admittedly a bit of a reach
Theres yet another negative interpretation of the "destruction of individuality" i sometimes hear: that it would somehow rob us each of our agency and ability to shape the world in accord with our desires and beliefs. This goes along with a worry that the inauguration of HI would necessarily be a violation of consent and mental autonomy, which strikes me as misguided for much the same reason. Our ignorance of one another is not an individual condition of oneself in particular one can opt in or out of irrespective of the choices of others; if my not being able to retsin my ATF is a violation of my "autonomy", why is my retaining my ATF not in turn a violation of the autonomy of the others being thereby kept ignorant of my deepest self? Mutual ignorance of one anothers mental states (including that very ignorance) is in no interesting way reducible to the ignorant subjects each having certain "individual" or "intrinsic" or "internal" states that can individually and unilaterally be shifted without affecting those of the others; it is an "external" relation. So thinking about HI in terms of individual, unilaterally revocable consent is confused; the fact it is changing is irreducibly collective, and thus consent to it and only be given or refused collectively if at all. Hopefully thats not too opaque
This reply feeds into my answer to the worry about the dilution of ones agency and control over the world. This objection makes sense against a background view on which, for an agent A to control the answer to a question Q and a distinct agent A* to control the answer to a question Q*, Q and Q* must be modally independent: any answer to the latter must be compossible with any answer to the former. Or that, if this isnt true, this is bc As control over Q or A*s over Q* must be only "limited" or "partial" or w/e. My rejection of this assumption (which is i think what lies behind the last objection about autonomy) is probably my deepest, most abstract anti-liberal commitment. Its a conception of control or freedom that i think ultimately requires a debilitatingly narrow view of what full freedom could look like, or of what facts can amount to states of a person. (For example, i think it prolly requires you to say that knowing that the sun rises, a property entailing the "external" fact that the sun rises, is not actually a state of a person, in some important sense, rather than smth like a conjunction of a state of a person and a state of the horizon/sun.) But going all the way into this would probably take a lengthy book; mb i will try to work it out slightly more precisely at some point tho
You asked how my feeling about EoE connect with my faith, and broader view of the world. This illiberal assumption is close to the heart of it. I am always tempted in this context to quote marxs comments in the 1848 manuscripts about the whole of nature being the "inorganic body of man", and i dont think im alone in seeing connections between those passages and remarks like pauls about the mystical body of the church ("So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another." Now there is smth for mereologists to chew on!!) And this is a trend you see elsewhere in the Christian tradition, like dantes description of the celestial eagle in paradiso xviii-xx. I was surprised, when talking to an atheist friend about my tentative support for HI, that they said my christianity made sense of my disagreement with them about this point; not bc i dont think theres a connection but bc idt of these emphases on the unity of the mystical body as particularly prominent in outsiders impressions of Christian belief
Anyway, hopefully that was at least somewhat illuminating. Thx for the kind words ^^
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