#thinking abt applying and all the shit that I have to do for my senior year and all that

[iamfabiloz]

ppl who are going to college/have gone to college: do it get better is it better than the hell that is highschool 😟 I am not having a good time in it rn

[hazybisou]

TRANCE

insta edit

model!reader x ethan edwards

summary: y/n goes through her modeling and partying era in the span of days.

a/n: literally i found some photos on pinterest and the idea js randomly popped into my head. i come up with wayyy too many ideas. i’ll get to them eventually tho. btw valscouture isn’t a real modeling agency or wtv (at least i dont think it is) it’s js smth i made up for this edit. for the record, i will be using the guys gfs names in this but will not be putting their actual users for privacy reasons and will use fake users. 😁

y/n_y/l/n

edwards.73, markestapa, trevorzegras, and 163,939 others liked this

y/n_y/l/n first photoshoot of the spring season and it couldn’t have gone better than this!! thank you @valscouture for this amazing experience! i can’t wait to see you again this summer 🫶🫶

tagged: valscouture

edwards.73 my girl be looking a little too good this time of year 😉😉

↳ y/n_y/l/n get outta here you loser!!

markestapa you’re showing too much skin COVER UP

↳ y/n_y/l/n mark looking out for his boyfriend’s girlfriend

↳ markestapa still mad abt you taking him from me

↳ y/n_y/l/n cry abt it

valscouture it was lovely to have you y/n!! till we meet again 💋💋🫶

↳ y/n_y/l/n LOVE YOU!!! 🥰🥰

rutgermcgroarty one chance is all i ask

↳ edwards.73 back🤺up🤺

↳ y/n_y/l/n you’re a little too young for me

↳ luca.fantilli don’t bother rut we’ve all tried before

↳ edwards.73 and where did that get you??

↳ y/n_y/l/n you had the seniors watch over them like hawks to make sure they wouldn’t even look at me!! FOR TWO MONTHS!!

↳ edwards.73 bc they should know better

↳ adamfantilli my poor big bro got rejected 😔😔 tragic world

lhughes_06 where was my invite?

↳ y/n_y/l/n luke honey, quinn has a better chance at becoming a model than you

↳ jackhughes what abt me??!!!?

↳ y/n_y/l/n no comment

↳ _quinnhughes HAH @lhughes_06 @jackhughes

↳ lhughes_06 fuck. off.

jazrod01 bestie slaying per usual

↳ y/n_y/l/n you know it!

umichhockey our favorite model 🤩

↳ y/n_y/l/n love you!!

el.mcm hurry up and come back to michigan already!! I MISS YOU ANGEL

↳ y/n_y/l/n ELLIE MY LOVE 😍 ILL BE HOME SOON DW!!!

trevorzegras yupp

↳ y/n_y/l/n get tf out trev

y/n_y/l/n has posted

lauren.rodolitz, edwards.73, jackhughes, and 97,932 others like this

y/n_y/l/n everywhere i go, they all know my name

markestapa who lied to you?

↳ y/n_y/l/n why are you still here?

↳ markestapa @edwards.73 your gf is being mean again 😭

↳ edwards.73 @markestapa i prefer to live 🤷 srry bud

↳ y/n_y/l/n i taught you well eth 😢😖

mackie.samo who’d you pay to do this?

↳ y/n_y/l/n are you accusing me of something matthew?

↳ mackie.samo yes

↳ y/n_y/l/n i am now accepting best friend applications

↳ dylanduke25 where do i apply?

↳ mackie.samo BACK OFF

rutgermcgroarty 😍😍

↳ edwards.73 this is why i should’ve never let you meet them

↳ y/n_y/l/n not my fault the freshies love me

↳ edwards.73 they have a baby crush on you

↳ luca.fantilli what abt it @edwards.73

lauren.rodolitz slay 🫶

↳ y/n_y/l/n slay 😘

_magspili we should go out again

↳ y/n_y/l/n time and date?

rutgermcgroarty heyy y/nnn…

↳ y/n_y/l/n leave

jackhughes will never get over the fact your friends with lukey

↳ lhughes_06 bro wtff

↳ y/n_y/l/n it’s okay lukey i still love you

↳ lhughes_06 stil?!!

↳ jackhughes anyways..

dylanduke25 get that lighter away rn 😠😠

↳ y/n_y/l/n no

el.mcm we’re going out this weekend end of discussion

↳ y/n_y/l/n fine by me

edwards.73 the only place you ever go to is target, school, and home….

↳ y/n_y/l/n ETHANIA DONT EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT

↳ edwards.73 DONT CALL ME THAT

↳ y/n_y/l/n SUCK IT UP BITCH

nolan_moyle i love how you js bully the shit outta ethan

↳ y/n_y/l/n he’s my little baby! i would never

↳ lhughes_06 now let’s not lie

↳ y/n_y/l/n be quiet

↳ mackie.samo lying is a sin..

↳ y/n_y/l/n I KNOW THAT!

↳ markestapa then why lie?

↳ y/n_y/l/n WHY ARE YOU ALL GANGING UP ON ME?!!

↳ everyone bc we can!!

↳ y/n_y/l/n fuck🖕you🖕all

[moonjxsung]

since we’re talking abt exes

tw grooming

after my ex and i broke up, he pretty quickly (like a month or two later) started seeing a girl years younger than him. he turned 18 before she even turned 15 (i think by some months? idr her birthmonth) its crazy - puppy anon

AUR NAUR…….. why is this such a common thing……. Like why have so many of us experienced this……..

18 and 15 is CRAZY 😭 what the fuck is wrong with these people like actually they need to be on a watchlist. I’m so sorry that happened to you sweet angel you deserve so so so much better :(

The girl I suspected my ex of cheating on me with had an Instagram I used to stalk religiously but I had no clue what her age was so I always assumed we were all the same age (my ex and I were the same age and had a birthday exactly 1 week apart) and then when we broke up I found her Twitter and the FIRSTTT tweet I see is “finally 18!!” with some pics of plushies and other shit he bought her 😭😭 mind you they’d been seeing each other for like 5 months by that point and he and I were both 20. What on earth do you have in common with a 17-year old…. At age 20……. like he and I would talk about our college courses and the internship I was applying for and the whole time he’s cheating on me with a girl who’s counting down to her senior prom….. oh! it’s giving pdf file

[ofherlionheart]

📕📗📘📙📖📚

daaamn okay let’s do this!!

in my head there’s a companion piece to like the sun that’s a mai POV that bops back and forth in time to explore her relationships with ty lee and azula and zuko. also largely abt her sense of sexuality and gender, particularly as 1. someone who meets/exceeds basically every fire nation beauty standard and 2. as the spitting image of her mother (who she does not have a gr8 relationship with). mailee endgame of coooourse

like the sun sequel, wherein zuko becomes izumi’s father. how, u ask? he’s doing his blue spirit thing when he shouldn’t be and he comes across a mother and her newborn (i named her izumi, mama says, because i discovered i was carrying her when visiting the spring at the temple); the mother dies, z can’t save her, but he can’t just leave the baby. how hard can it be to take care of a child, anyway? he brings izumi back to the palace and is like, can i get a wet nurse? and everyone LOSES their shit. ‘fire lord zuko how did u end up in possession of a baby?’ ‘she’s mine,’ he says and refuses to elaborate. the staff finds a wet nurse and gossip starts flying around, all omg the fire lord had a secret baby mama somewhere. when sokka first hears abt izumi he freaks the fck out — not b/c he thinks z had an affair (the thought doesn’t even cross his mind), but b/c he’s like 1. this baby is now a part of z’s life, this is immutable fact 2. i am part of z’s life 3. omfg i’m supposed to be part of the baby’s life?? that’s a degree of commitment and faith in the future that I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS. like a nerd sokka doesn’t tell z any of this. shenanigans and misunderstanding as z embraces fatherhood super enthusiastically and sokka’s brain is short-circuiting and constantly being witness to all these dadko moments

percy/annabeth from pjo boarding school summer-before-senior-year-college-tour-roadtrip au!! bounces between the summer and the journey it took for them to become friends and end up on this roadtrip. annabeth POV, the slow realization that there’s something more to life than, like, grades and good colleges and career success. 

daichi/suga canon divergent haikyuu fic: daichi has always inspired suga to work harder; suga has always inspired daichi to be more adventurous. so daichi applies to a few unis in tokyo (gasp! so far from miyagi!) and is super excited to tell suga abt it (ofc suga applied to tokyo unis, he’s pretty smart and has always talked abt leaving miyagi for university) but suga beats him to the punch … he got the same scholarship as shimizu to go to america for college. daichi is proud of him! anyway college college blah blah one night daichi’s grabbing drinks w/ noya and suga’s instagram comes up, daichi says something abt that american boy who keeps showing up in suga’s posts and noya’s like oh yeah his boyfriend. daichi: ????? noya: yah dude didja not know? anyway suga can’t be super open abt it on social media b/c he’ll lose his scholarship if they find out he’s queer. blah blah daichi goes to visit suga in america during a break at school and he meets the boyfriend and realizes his feelings about his best friend have evolved blah blaaaah idk how this one ends lmfao. i mean ik there would be smooching but that’s the extent of the detail i have in my head

sneak preview to a prompt ask game drabble but yet ANOTHER zukka modern au 🤪 this time z and s meet in brazil while they’re both doing research out of the same university. sorry i keep making z and s absolute nerds?? anyway there’s beach volleyball incredible food amazing music. but all international flings between foreigners must end eventually. no plot here rly just vibes

this one is mostly a joke, buuuuuut haikyuu au wherein oikawa fcks up his knee in HS and has the deepest mope about losing volleyball. accidentally gets really into kdramas while serially moping, becomes proficient in korean thru that. one weekend he’s visiting tokyo with hanamaki and matsukawa and when they’re at a mall oikawa’s pounced on by a scout who’s like, hey wanna be an korean idol? oikawa’s like haha maki didn’t i always tell you i was so beautiful and mastukawa’s like he’s fluent in korean and hanamaki’s like he practices cute expressions in the mirror all the time and duets pretty good with his showerhead. scout leaves his business card, oikawa’s like ‘u guys r so mean for making fun of me like that’ and they’re like lmfao as if u could actual become an idol. oikawa: TARGET. LOCKED. he’s remembered how to work his ass off again. anyway fic would start like, 4 years after his group’s debut, they’re on tour in the united states where iwaizumi is oh-so-conveniently doing college. ‘iwa-chan your skin got so much darker!’ ‘you look fckn translucent’ ‘i’ll risk getting a little tan only for you, iwa-chan’

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

[luobingmeis]

/

i feel like there is so much stuff around graduating/not being in school anymore that is actually pushing me closer to a mental breakdown and no amount of “it’s okay to take time off” or “no one knows what they’re doing out of college” or “use this to figure out what you’re doing” is going to change that bc my problem is So Much Bigger and instead i’m just losing my mind every day about........ senior photos? bc apparently that’s all that my brain wants to focus on????

i think my thing with senior photos is that not only has my opinion of myself been fluctuating but like. the two friends i’m gonna be taking pics with are. very pretty. and look like adults. and know how to do hair and makeup and dress super nice and like. i cannot think of a situation where i don’t feel uncomfortable and shitty the entire time

to touch back on life after college: my entire post-undergrad plans have been completely overturned and 180′d and. everything. and knowing me, a homebody/creature of habit, i might as well expect to never. get to grad school. or move out. bc now “going to grad school” feels as far off as moving out akjdskjdsjkds

like okay there i’m being a bit dramatic but like. ngl it’s messing with me bc i’ve always felt “left behind” in regards to success but also like. the moment i decided to take a gap year (for multiple reasons) suddenly i lost my passion for most things like. yeah i put some effort into my assignments but like. idk i didn’t even apply for my school’s research symposium even tho the head of my department told me personally that she wants me to do it bc like. what does it matter???? i’m gonna be standing up there with people going into teaching and nursing and i????????? am getting a bacherlor’s in english literature with literally no stable life plan??????????????????? like what’s the point lmao i’m gonna be going shit for the next year so like anything i do now feels pointless

which in a very melodramatic pathetic way makes me feel fine abt not like. applying to be valedictorian but, if u have reached this far, i am letting myself just ride out my pity party so i can feel fine later akdsksdjds

also off topic but also not but like................ would love to have a stable sense of self and actually know what i want like. any type of identity? in this economy??????? but also a major identity crisis happening like two months before i graduate college is so fitting it’s wonderful

like. it’s like. “oh i feel X and that feels good” and then somehow i think myself down a rabbit hole so deep i genuinely feel like i’m losing my mind

ANYWAYS

to end this on a super petty note: my mom sometimes uses my laptop to video call her friends and the next time one of her friends bitches about how loud my laptop fan is, i’m just going to tell them to buy me a new fancy expensive laptop like. okay mrs big money, ur so annoyed by a sound u have to listen to maybe once a month to the point where ur literally starting a fight with my mom abt it???????? buy me something, then 

[societysonlooker]

DnD party backstory idea: youre all students of music at a renowned, if infamous, university. One night, while youre out drinking and performing at a local tavern, either

A) you somehow get wrapped up in some shady underworld bullshit, and now are just tryjng not to die as you face off against minions and veteran evil adventurers.

B) Something distorts reality, but some strange mixture of your drunkness and your music (maybe one of you has a magickal instrument you didnt know was magickal?) Has left you as the only people who remember what the world is ACTUALLY supposed to be like. After a day or so of fumbling around, you realize it's all part of some villans plot to [enter evil motivation here], and now, as the only people who know what happened, youre on a quest to stop them, and restore the world to what it was.

C) someone blew up your school. Find out who did it, why they did it, a) make them pay b) find their boss and figure out their plans c) report them to the authorities and make sure they dont escape their public execution d) overthrow the corrupt system that sees learning as a threat to their totalitarian rule.

D) someone killed their favorite professor. Putside the alley. Find out who. Find out why. Avenge the professor, and make sure their death wasn't in vain.

E) Fuckin do all of these. Temporal shifts baby. Consciousness being displaced in time. Everytime they think they won they wind up back in that tavern right as the shit starts. They uncover more of the mystery each time, gaining confidence as they gain knowledge, learning that no one is what they seem, and that no one is truly the mask they put on the surface.

And these are just ideas!!! And really, you can apply it to any class, the "Student" idea is to explain their low level at the start. They can be freshman and start at level 1, or hell, have them be seniors and near graduates and have them start at level 2 or 3. The world is literally your oyster my guys.

But seriously, druids? Their circle got attacked while this particular group of indicties were meditating.

Fighters? Group of recruits for a small guard or army.

Rangers? A bunch of runaways and or orphans or, hell, have one kid actually have Supportive Parents(tm) who saw their infatuation with nature and was like "you know what you'd like: ranger" and have all of these youngins under the tutalage of a senior ranger or something.

Cleric? All from the same cult religious group.

Paladins? Ok well now youre basically just the circle from dragons age so congrats, i guess. Youre just the nights templar and you need to deal with it. And hey! Maybe thats their motivation! They see the corruption of their church/group and were like "how do we fix this without conpromizing our morals?" Then they DID it.

Sorcerers? Congrats! Youre now the lodge of sorceresses but possiblywith men just have them all be from the same school for young mages.

Warlocks? You were all in the same coven and made a pact with your sugar daddy demonic patron. Or!!! Maybe its like that Adventures of God comic and youre a bunch of wayward kids a Literal demon takes in!!! Wizard? Same as the sorcerers man. Same school of learning.

Barabrians? You bonded over your cultural similarities and all hang out now (can you tell i dont know much abt barbarians).

Rogues? (This has so much potential I ernestly believe it will be as fun as the bard one) You all run the same streets, youre young, some of yiu may be new to the area, but whether youre forced together, youre taken under the wing of a thieves guild, or you learn you can take bigger scores/do better by working together, you all fall in, and now your quest begins.

I definitely forgot some classes but you get the idea! Now, Onlooker, you might ask, doesnt the whole party being the same class fuck with some of the balancing? And the answer is yes. Abso-fucking-luteky YES. And thats the point!!! Just like how your PC's have to help each other in game, you can work together out-of-game when building each character. Picking what spells they know, what weapons they use, and making sure the party in-game is prepared for any situation.

Your character building out-of-game has to match what a team of people in that situation would actually have to do, which would be to help each other, diversify, and specialize in order to survive. Six college of glamour bards probably wont be very effective against the Big Bad. But, having each of a creation, lore, swords, whispers, valor, and satire college bard might just do the trick. Especially if yiur big bad is good old human corruption.

Anyway, I think this has a lot of potential for making your players get creative with their builds, and helping you stay on your toes when building encounters. Taking in the strengths and weaknesses of the party to determine the tyoes of encounters you run, and the difficulty of enemies as well, beyond just "what kind of damage can they do and what kind if damage can they take" (and yes i KNOW most DMs actually take a lot of time to make their encounters! I just think this could spice things up). Maybe this could even be a prequil to a campaign you ALREADY ran, or one you plan to run in the future if theyre up for it, maybe the failings of a group of JUST one class can be what your future adventurers pick up from, if your group of bards cant defeat the big bad, everything they've learned could still help another group in the future, so long as the information survives. And... if it is a group of academics, that shouldn't be too hard to orchestrate. Maybe your next party succeeds because a really, really brave group of fucking students who decided that someone had to do something, and gave everything they had to do it. Maybe your next group of adventurers only succeeds because someone else laid the groundwork. Because another group of people chose to risk their lives, to die for this cause. Whether their motivations are the same, defeating an ultimate evil, or completely different, like a personal vandetta against a moral belief. Either way, their goal is the same.

Anyway if you couldnt tell im in love with this idea and am going to try and convince my group to at least do a one shot of it at some point, and probably go write something based on this idea. I really hope someone runs with it!!! And if you do, message me and lmk how it goes!!!

[eljhmlnr-blog]

hello pals !! im el (22, est, she/her pronouns) and this is my newest muse elijah ..... can’t wait to Absolutely Ruin Him!!!! i’m still in the process of fleshing out this Soft Babie so pls enjoy getting to know him at the same time & pace that i do aksjdhasd. if this mess of an intro isn’t enough to scare u away pls feel free to smash the like button OR hmu on d*scord @ suffering!#1968 for a good time ;))))

( axel auriant, cismale ) did you hear how ELIJAH MOLNAR is applying to columbia university as a PSYCHOLOGY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +DYNAMIC and +EXPRESSIVE, but honestly i think HE can be -INSOUCIANT and -FICKLE. they’re a real CHAMELEON. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

STATS ✷ WANTED CONNECTIONS ✷ PINTEREST

B A C K S T O R Y

elijah was born in manchester, english but definitely not bred there because he was constantly moving. his parents are successful house flippers who travel around the country renovating houses for a living which meant he was never in once place for too long? and honestly... he felt like he was living the dream?? he loved his home, his friends, his life. but when he was 13, his parents decided that it was time to put down roots for the family, so the molnars packed their bags and settled in nyc.

it was at this point that he kind of started.....acting out? it wasnt necessarily for attention or anything, but he wasn’t happy with the change and found it rlly difficult to adapt to a stagant and american life? this was difficult for him because, with a life that is constantly changing, he had never had trouble adjusting before.

(tw: drugs) elijah has never been much of the studious type?? so that paired with his newfound behavioral issues meant you were more likely to find him stoned off his ass doing graffiti throughout the city than you were to find him studying

he wasn’t doing the graffiti just cos he likes petty crime but bc he just loves art??? he leans more towards painting and murals but art of all kinds and all mediums just make him rlly happy. and even though his parents are house flippers, he kind of felt like this profession was not something they necessarily approved of? maybe it was because they had spent their due time in corporate america before becoming renovators or tbh maybe this was all in his head but he was just Popping Off and being Dumb.

but at some points his parents had just??? had enough??? the molnars are (clearly) a very close family and they refused to allow their son to fuck around and just . not “”””do anything”” with his life. so they gave him an ultimatum: get his shit together or go to boarding school. the thought of being away from his family at some random boarding school in america was enough to scare him into trying to get his life together

with a lot of handholding from tutors, he was actually able to raise his grades his junior and senior yr!!! and his sat exam??? honestly he aced that shit bc he had a one on one tutor who taught him exactly the right way to study for it kjshd. he did well enough that his school stats + him being a two generation legacy was enough for him to land himself into columbia. which....he chose to go to on random solely bc his sister would be attending.

C U R R E N T L Y

so now eli is a junior at columbia and studying psychology. a major that he .... could not care less about. he knew that studying art would not be an option for him (big sad!!) so he picked psychology on his college apps just so he could submit them. he was hoping that inspo would strike in another educational field ..... but now here he is 3 yrs later still struggling thru the major akjsdh

he hated how hard his life became once he moved to the states, so he promised himself that he would never let himself do such a bad job of adapting ever again.

what does that mean, u ask?? it means that he’s bsc trained himself to fit in any situation JKASHA. it’s not that he’s a snake or anything and he’s not doing it to hurt people, it’s all just for self preservation. but does that prevent some hurtful snakelife behavior from occurring?? definitely not.

since coming to columbia, he’s kind of taken up a Soft Babie personality/lifestyle??? and it’s not an act, he definitely expresses himself the way he wants .... but he also hides a ton. he doesn’t want people to know about his vices, would prefer if they just saw him as perfect??? esp. bc his parents have a lot of connections at columbia and, even tho his relationship with them has improved, he’s scared of them pulling some dumb “boarding school threat 2.0″ shit on him

if u get to see the real him with no mask on??? phewwwww u are LUCKY.

bc he literally hides ... some of the biggest parts of himself? he’s bisexual with a preference for men, but most of the population (minus like. hookups and close close friends) think he’s straight. he’s never given them any reason to think otherwise and he’d like to keep it that way

it’s not that his family is bigoted or anything but he’s just gotten back into a good place with them and the last thing he wants to do is “””rock the boat””””??? so quiet he stays! this mentality goes along with other parts of him as well: he tries not to seem too enthusiastic about the arts, he doesn’t really ever talk about himself (this means he is a FABULOUS listener akjsh), etc etc etc.

he is just..... so fucking Cynical lol

anyway hello hi if u made it this far then i Truly love you? im so fucking bad abt rambling :(((( uhh this is where i again encourage u to plot with me so .... hit that like/message me and let’s do that :P

ok bye y’all!!

[edwardsvirginity]

At least your doing your grad school application I’m still struggling to write out my personal statement and I haven’t even mentioned the idea of recommendations to my professors

ok my personal statement was a fucking disaster and it only got written bc one of my reccomenders asked me for it, then i didn’t respond for like a week, and then they straight up emailed me again to be like ??? and it shamed me into finally writing it. but it was HARD. and honestly it’s just. not good.

my friends are baller and 2 of them have won fulbrights, and of those 2 one of them ALSO just got a rhodes scholarship, and then my BEST friend is doing peace corps, and another friend of mine is straight up employed as an editor. i mention this not just to brag on my friends (who are gr8) but also to say that my personal statement was bad enough that i sent it to ALL of them and was like “dear god please save me from myself and tell me how to make this presentable”. so now i’m just sititng here twiddling my thumbs (after sending the rough draft to my reccomender lol) waiting for them to get back to me bc i can’t bear to look at what i have and spend MORE hours struggling over it

i would definitely say u gotta talk to ur professors asap if the deadline for the application is within the next month. like, you have to give them AT LEAST 2 weeks notice to write something. i was hella nervous abt talking to my professors (both when i thought i was gonna apply my senior year of college, and now, 2 years later) but they were honestly super chill about it. writing reccomendations is part of their job so as long as you tell them far enough in advance i’m sure it won’t be a problem. i feel u tho. it’s terrifying. 

my deadline is the 15th (sunday) and honestly i’ve been internally screaming for the last 2 weeks (when i started the application-- i’m THAT MUCH trash) but at least after sunday it’s out of my hands. but i also know that if i don’t have rapidly approaching deadlines for things, shit doesn’t get done. so hopefully if your deadline is still pretty far out that could be a reason you’re struggling-- bc it’s not a tight enough time frame to be motivating

i wish i could give u advice on ur personal statement, but i’m applying to grad school in france and it’s a significantly different format. american grad schools want all this weird creative shit from you and it’s kinda overwhelming. i’m not dealing with any of that bullshit and i’m still like 2 minutes away from an anxiety attack at any moment. so. i do not envy you. stay strong

best of luck anon. we gonna get this bread. we gonna get into grad school and go be successful in our chosen career fields. i believe in us. 

but also anon: i will say, i tried to apply to grad school my senior year of college because i was terrified of entering the workforce and didn’t feel qualified for anything with my degree. that was a bad move. i put too much pressure on myself and straight up had multiple breakdowns. it was waaayyyy too overwhelming for me to try and do a bunch of research, apply to like 5 different places, AND do all my senior year of college stuff like write my dissertation and do well in my classes. it just was not possible for me and i should not have pretended it was. i’m really glad i waited until now (~1.5 years post-graduation) to apply, because it allowed me to get an (unglamorous) job that to my legitimate shock actually counts as really good, relevant experience on my grad school application, made me think really seriously about grad school so i don’t feel like i’m doing it just to avoid a shitty economy and workforce, proved to me that i can get a job even with just my undergrad degree, and now i know when i graduate grad school i will have ~work experience~ as well. (plus, it’s been great to be able to make some headway in paying off my undergrad loans, and save some money). and while i’m still an anxious mess about this grad school app, it’s 10x easier to apply now while i have a job than when i was in school. there’s a lot less pressure, i have more free time, i feel less overwhelmed by things generally. i know even if i don’t get in things will be ok, bc i already have a job! and i’m just applying to one grad school right now, bc i have more clarity abt what i actually want out of grad school and where i wanna be. and if i decide in the spring to apply to more grad schools, i have that option (yay for european deadlines). so i would just encourage you to think really seriously about why you’re applying now and if that’s really what you want, or if you’re just doing what me and many of my friends did and trying to avoid entering the workforce/being a real adult because you feel unprepared and scared (which is understandable!! but not a good reason to spend a bunch more money to go to grad school). even my friends who intend to pursue phds took time off between undergrad and grad school. don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have things perfectly figured out right now. if you’re struggling with your application it could be a sign. it’s always good to check in with yourself. 

[mirajcnks]

ah hello everyone !!! i’m jules and wowow  i am so excite 2 meet u all and interact w all of ur dope charas :’) this is my Messy intro where im gonn a scream abt mira!! ok thank u for reading if u got this far jsdjfh

[ & ; * - cindy kimberly / pansexual / she/her ] isn’t it weird how close { amira 'mira' jenkins } resembles {cindy kimberly }? damn, i heard they are a { twenty } year old { undergraduate } and a member of { delta psi delta } studying { nursing }. outside of class { mira } participates in { soccer, photography & art} and their party anthem is { good as hell } by { lizzo }. 

amira was born on January 1, 1999 in Kona, Hawaii. she is actually the first baby born in the new year in Hawaii. her parents, dane and stella jenkins, were high school sweethearts & only 20-year-olds at the time of the birth of their daughter. 

her younger years were great, her parents spoiled her by taking her on trips and buying her whatever she would want. they treated her like a princess and soon anought she sorta turned into one.

but unfortunately when mira was 10 years old, her parents had filed for divorce and were currently fighting over who would she would live with. ultimately, amira’s father got custody of her during the week and she would visit her mother on weekends. 

dane jenkins, her father, is the co-owner of jenkin bros industries, which is a construction company. dane & his brother inherited it from their father and now run the business together. after the divorce, dane turned into quite the workaholic but still made time for his daughter

stella jenkins was a college student at the time, in which she decided she would drop out of school to become a full-time mother. during her time with dane she remained a stay at home mother but once they got divorced she started taking to online classes to finish getting her degree in social work.

she prefers to go by ‘mira’ instead of amira & will def give you the evil eye and a lil attitude if you call her by that. amira only allows close friends & family to call her that!

amira is daddy’s little girl & she wouldn’t have it any other way. her father treats her with everything she wants & give her all the money she wants to make up for not being home as much as he should. obvi one she will stop taking advantage of it but she is going to enjoy it while it last.

amira’s relationship didn’t really get much better after the divorce. sometimes she wouldn’t even go to her mom’s house on the weekend bc she was “busy.” eventually amira found out the truth, her mother had cheated on her father and was seeing some other guy instead of hanging out with her. what made it worse was she found out that he had a son, it made her feel as if her own mother would rather spend time with her son. amira never let her mother know that and still holds it against her till this day.

growing up with a decent amount of money had it pros and cons on mira as she grew up. she has grown to have a very luxurious taste. always has to the best of everything lol

ever since amira was younger she was always very bubbly and outgoing. she was actually vry into school bc she would get to see her friends.

she wasn’t a bad student, getting some A’s but mostly B’s but she really didn’t mind. she knew she couldn’t be the best at everything but at least she tried her hardest.

when amira started high school, her grades did improve but she herself got wilder. she was the biggest partier & pothead in the high school she attended. but no matter how wild she was, she kept up her grades & eventually made it to the honor roll.

also during high school, amira got really into creating art, whether it be painting, drawing or taking photographs. she also joined the soccer team to keep her busy but mostly to look good on her college application lmao

in her senior year of high school, amira decided to take a risk and apply to college she dreamed of going to, yale, doubting they would every accept her. but quite to her surprise, she was issued a half a scholarship at yale. she also turned out to be the valedictorian of her graduating class.

it broke her heart to leave her family. mostly her dad, in Hawaii but she wanted to pursue her dreams and she knew that they have her back no matter what happens

in her freshman year amira didn’t know what she wanted to do until she took some biology & anatomy classes & realized that she wanted to be in the medical field, ultimately deciding on nursing as her major

amira also continued to play soccer in her college career & joined the photography & art club to help her mind stay focused throughout the year. 

amira also rushed the delta psi delta sorority & decided to join when they offered it her. at the beginning she thought it would be a waste of time but she fell in love with her sisters & couldn’t imagine not being in the house with them.

ANyways i’m totally rambling rn so i shall stop her and move on to the next thing !!

PERSONALITY

she paints liKE ALOT !!; usually having something to do with the landscapes or people or flowers bc those are all her fav things. she does draw as well but prefers to paint. amira also has a passion for photography & often paints some of her own photographs

she’s vry protective of her friends and of herself

even though she is protective af she is very open to new people in her life! never wants ANYONE to feel left out when they around her.

she def puts up a front when sharing stuff about herself and her emotions unless she rlly trusts you

she likes to think she is badass as fuck but in reality, she is loser lmao!! ( laughs at her own joke)

speaking of jokes lbr, she pretty funny and sarcastic so she isn’t the only one laughing

however sweet she seems, she can also be very manipulative when she wants to be. knowing she can bat her eyelashes and get the world.!!

she tends to try to avoid most direct confrontation even though she’s really good in social situations and appealing to people uwu

always thinking, always learning, always caring

an actual flower

loves tattoos but only has like two!!

she looks at life in terms of opportunities and has lots of wishes and goals !!

she wants to live a vry luxurious life when older even though she is now. but she wants to be able to say she earned it herself

vry romantically compulsive which can be a problem lol!!

she constantly longs for partnership; whether it’s romantic or not

when it comes to money, she can be frivolous in her spending habits one day, and frugal the next

she is a problem-solver and will spend a lot of time helping others solve problems if needed

v good at talking and well-liked

while her spirit’s lively, it is also cunning & she often acts without thinking, throwing herself into things

loves to party obvs !!! tries to go out every single night bc why tf not lmaoo

honestly she is the life of the party. whenever the party is dying down or just getting started she is the first one on the dance floor. or she is walking around making people take shots with her

she is also very open about smoking pot and is def down to try other shit even though she hasnt been offered it yet

she doesn’t have a good sense of organization but she loves life and all it has to offer <3

but some cool ass plot i’d like to see is GIRL SQUAAAD, best friend, high school friends, exes, rommie, enemies, fwbs!! , party buddies or literally ANYTHING THAT SMELLS LIKE DRAMA and just anything bc i’m plot trash!!!

[frascrs]

ah HEY it’s ya boi uhhh skinny penis!! xx jk it’s ally and this is kenneth?? he’s ?? a handful to say the least bgvfind Basically scottish twitter but as a person like this tweet says it all ((:: anyways this intro is really out here about to be just as shitty as sabine’s so ... be warned or w/e ig !! also .. we don’t have to talk abt the ugli theme i got on his blog rn ... i Might change it .. eventually ... probably not

cw: death

ken’s pinterest: here!

( thomas doherty, cismale ) did you hear how KENNETH FRASER is applying to columbia university as a MARKETING major ?! the TWENTY-TWO year old is living in CARLTON ARMS. i heard that they got in because they are +LOYAL and +DYNAMIC, but honestly i think HE can be -SELF-IMPORTANT and -RECKLESS. they’re a real CASTLE-BUILDER. oh well, only time will tell if the SENIOR will make it til the end.

+ rumpled bed sheets, swim trunks, sunglasses, lazy smiles, silver flasks, sleeping late, large dogs, loud laughter, warm evenings, chocolate ice cream, early morning fog, bad horror films, fireflies, late night swims, whispered promises, outlandish stories, churros & the longest day of the year

OKAY, so, this is kenneth & full disclaimer i don’t know Shit about scotland .. i’m basing all my knowledge on uhh outlander and youtubers and thomas’s slight accent so please dont @ me for my shit knowledge/accent okay im Trying !!! anyways, down to business!

kenneth was born in inverness, scotland ( s/o to the highland cows xx ) to two school teachers. they didn’t have much in the way of money, but they were happy, content. he was fourteen when they got into a car accident, leaving him orphaned and living with his uncle?? #1 horse breeded in the highlands? SHEW! love a farm boy!! anyways .. when he went to live with his uncle, everything was ?? so different !! suddenly he was living a life of luxury with a home tutor and shit like that so he was like ... bitch what??? anyways yeah it was a Culture Shock but lk his fav thing abt it was the horses imma choke i love an animal lover kids!

he was always a pretty good kid, staying out of serious trouble and keeping away from the wrong crowd, but he let himself slip when his new rich friends were like pressuring him into drinking a lot and doing recreational rich white people drugs like cocaine ygm? he started drinking to excess and staying out partying at all hours of the night, basically just stressing the fuck out of his uncle lmao!!

despite this hes always been really close with his uncle and their favorite thing to do has always been to take they horses out and basically live that Country Life tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ a healthy familial relationship? lmao who do i think i am

SO this led to him spending most of his time outdoors and kinda secluded despite his so called ‘ friends ’ who lived in edinburgh ( choke thanks! ). when he graduated high school, he wasn’t interested in college much tbh?? he was all set to take over his uncle’s business and its all he ever really wanted to do, but his uncle was like AHA thassa joke m8 and made it so he couldnt inherit it until he had a degree !! SO at first he was just going with the motions of college but its honestly .. such a good time and hes so glad he was forced to go lmao catch him happy to go to class like a lunatic

he’s a marketing major cos it’ll help him with the running of his uncle’s business ( which he plans to branch out to the rest of scotland and then maybe the us if he gets the opportunity ) and he highkey loves it? hes v much a people person like him being alone? unrealistic! he thrives in crowds and around other people so!

yall seen neighbors? zac efron? mhm … that’s kenneth but less douchey ;) he’s also a big time frat guy like OBVIOUSLY he needs constant companionship and attnetion like the Child he is so bvifjnc he’s a walking stereotype yikes.png .. walking around campus like a fuckin moron.. sunglasses and a wide ass grin GOD i Hate Him bgvfjcnkm

he’s a nice guy i PROMISE !! just a bit cocky like flashes smug grins, winks, flirts like theres no gd tomorrow??? but hes lowkey?? insatiable !! and highkey insufferable vfujnd always wanting more and more from life and gets bored really easily .. fickle ass kenneth im Sorry in advance :/

okay so that’s kinda contradictory with how i said he’s loyal but Let Me Explain! he’s very loyal to his friends and family, the few people he really and truly cares about okay !! it’s with like romantic/sexual relationships where hes a bit.. unreliable Yikes

That Said he’s never had any serious girlfriends due to this and it leads him to be emotionally distant, more likely to avoid them at all costs tbh .. just to have fun and live life to the fullest so expect him to brush everything off with a wink and a wry joke

uhh i was literally making this up as i went so lol !! i prolly forgot? a lot!! but anyways ion got any wc’s because im Lazy and my creativity just doesnt extend to plots so.. hmu on chats if u wanna plot w/ me !! xx

[hclles-blog]

hey guys ! this has been sitting in drafts for at least a day now, but trust me when i say i’m as excited as i was when typing this fucking monster of an intro SDKFGJKFD but i’m jules, kard and clc supremacist and a struggling student about to apply to the english faculty of my uni ! like i said, this is a super long intro, so get settled as i introduce asteria’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, extensive plots and an extra list of options are linked accordingly !

jeon somin, cis female, she/her. — have you seen ( hyunmi “halle” chae ) around ( hecate ) ? they’re a ( twenty-two ) year old ( senior ) who’s majoring in ( kinesiology. ) i know they’re busy with ( dance club, women’s volleyball, and kappa delta sorority ), but you should tell them to check their latest starred rating ! ( jules, 21, she/her, gmt-3:30. )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

this is mostly a carbon copy of an intro i’ve made for her in the past, so while some random points seem a Little dated or repetitive, they’re valid enough to stay here sfdlgkdg

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities in canada, the us and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

but the latter wound up being a bust bc she opted for asteria u, close to some of the popular yet secluded skate clubs the greats went to during their off-season training.. and before tr*mp got elected bc she would’ve cancelled everything, demanded her money and scholarships back, had she arrived after that LSDFGJFKLD

should be noted that her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, so she deemed all of this inevitable sfkljfdgk

though the school didn’t and still doesn’t offer its own skate club so, that was a slight drawback for the invested bitch

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and was back on the ice in no time, joining one of those aforementioned skate clubs under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it; however the stars didn’t align back in 2017 during her sophomore year, when she just missed obtaining qualification while now on canada’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a couple of years since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

meaning she’s currently on hiatus from the sport, but she knows a good few people think her career is Over now — and it pisses her the Fuck off

studying kinesiology despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves being active and thinks she’d be a resource in the field down the line ok ??

anyways, she’s found new things to invest her time in, such as the sorority, dance club and volleyball

dance helps with the choreo for her routines.... or Did, but we all know she’s still doing Some amount of skating on the side so

and it helps in areas where muscle memory and years of flexibility can’t quite do so

volleyball’s a great second option for her as a sport, mostly bc she can exert as much of her frequent frustration as possible into a game and act like it’s just her being into it. though she really can be That competitive, as you can see, rather than bratty

so, moving onto other things —

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once or twice. the first time being when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner that she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane halle ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

or, for a better way to describe it though it sounds like i’m just repeating myself: she gives off Proper head bitch vibes ( subtract the Need to feel powerful in being a piece of shit to anyone who walks past you ) but she’s really just a blunt and serious brat with a super dry and at times menacing sense of humour

she won’t hesitate to call you out on your shit or make it clear that she doesn’t like you, though, even if she appears cordial on the surface

as a result, hockey players HATE her !

bc she rips into them the most for frequently poor experiences with her fellow ice people. most of which are them hogging her reserved practice time, and being thirsty and pretentious dicks about it within and outside of the arena

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out korean or her conversational-level french far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

she’s pan but..... girls disappoint her far less than guys so she has a preference djfgskgdkf

all of that being said, it clearly plays into how she’s perceived by others, so —

her view and reception on starred

she..... probably doesn’t do too hot tbh

well. maybe she Does if starred's social ladder resembled most high school/college shows, movies.... rps, but it doesn't really so —

in all fairness, she probably does do better than i'm assuming rn bc.. she Is a character of sorts, who knows gskfksl but MOVING ON !

her blunt and kinda snarky attitude is partially Why she hates this point system, bc people tend to kiss ass just so they aren’t given a low rating whereas she can only hold back about 5% of her unfiltered opinion — but that’s IT !

tbh she relies heavily on her involvement in extracurriculars, and especially her public image from her glory days, more so than she herself to keep her head above water

so she looks entitled from that alone

given the way i’ve played her in the past, ik she might come across as a hbic type: thinks she’s the best ( which.. she kinda does sjkfgd ), savours the power she tries to or does in fact exert, doesn’t come across as particularly sympathetic or nice, etc

but she’s just a shit disturber with thick skin and a slight kink for receiving admiration and respect, puts herself first a little too much

in fact, she doesn’t really Care to hold people by a leash, but yeah, it can come across much differently since her tone never really Shifts if she doesn’t know you well, doesn’t trust you, knows you’re naive with such things, doesn’t like you, is just fucking around or in a sour mood.... the list goes on

so if your character focuses on who’s the nicest or most cheerful when giving high ratings, makes a v quick judgment on their character from a first impression, she’s gonna be near the bottom of their list dfsghkfgj

and like i said, she doesn’t care for the system Enough to change any of this, so she gets by

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there bc this is painfully long — congratulations if you’ve made it to the end of this intro from hell ! if anyone wants to plot, like this or im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

[tfw-no-tennis]

Greetings, comrade LJ! I am about to start college in a month and I was wondering if you could bless me with some wisdom on how to survive my first semester! (Feel free to publish this tbh some other youngins might need the help too)

oh my god i am SO sorry i just saw this, tungle literally never told me i recieved this what the hell!!! i will happily give you some wisdom even if youve already started college oh man im sorry. hopefully this still helps!!! for reference im a biology major so some of this might not apply well to other majors lol

ok my first wisdom is to never get books unless you have to. these days, professors know most students dont actually use books so they dont bother really using the books for the tests...the exception is for labs (science labs, at least) where you typically will need to buy the lab guide to do hw and stuff. generally if you think you might need a book, wait a bit before getting it - even if the professor says you ABSOLUTELY need it. sometimes they just have to say that but you wont really need it. if you can, rent, and rent used! books are generally a waste, the way they get your money nowadays is HW access codes. yes....paying to do HW. how great 

ratemyprofessor is a fantastic resource, but do be wary of certain reviews - students can be salty about failing a class and give a bad review for a professor who doesnt deserve it. also, make sure you're looking at the correct class (upper left corner of the review) for the professor 

if you can, make friends in a class and work together on stuff (hw, quizzes), and then you can share notes if one of you misses class and stuff

in terms of missing class, id say its up to your judgment if you skip or not - it honestly depends on the class. some classes i barely went to, some i never missed. freshman year i barely skipped class (probably a good idea as you get the feel of it) but once you go on, you'll be able to tell if you need to go to class (generally if the professor just teaches from ppts and doesn't require attendance, you might be able to miss. depends on how you learn tho!) 

labs you generally cant miss (again, science labs) or youll like get set on fire or something. its bad. you can usually make it up with an excuse or if you know ahead of time, tho 

be friends with your professors and TAs! go to office hours! especially if you're planning or grad/professional school and want rec letters. altho!! dont stress abt future plans too much. you really, really have time. theres no rush to go to school after undergrad at all so if you dont have your shit together. DONT WORRY

this has probably become irrelevant for you but id suggest leaving waaaay early for your first day of class so you can find your classroom ok and get a good seat

free stuff is lit. get free stuff whenever you can. if you find a pen somewhere? take it its yours now

if you do well in a class and enjoy it, id suggest trying to become a tutor for it. you probably make some money, its not usually too much work, and you enjoy it if thats the kind of thing you're into. its especially helpful if youre planning on going into something relating to that subject someday, so then you can keep up to date on it

getting involved is also a good idea!! theres so many clubs and stuff at universities, so theres usually something for everyone. it can be scary going alone, but youll usually end up meeting people there. theres typically not too much pressure to keep coming consistently, so if you need time off from a club you can take it easily.  

libraries can be a great place to study dont knock em i sure did until like last year which was a mistake. imo focusing is easier in a library than in my room, that might just be me tho!!

cliques arent really a ‘thing,’ you might end up with a friend group or two but college is not nearly as cliquey as HS. i have a lot of friends now who i KNOW i wouldnt have even talked to in HS just based on the fact that we wouldve run in different social circles back then. dont limit yourself by thinking ‘oh, we’re too different’ or something, you’d be surprised how well you click with people you didnt think youd get along with!

cafeteria food,,...is usually bad. it tends to be a lot better when theres tours going on, so try to remember that lol

this is already so long im sorry lol, ill stop here but let me know if you (or anyone else reading this) have any questions or want any specific advice!! im a senior in college now so im basically an expert lol (though my knowledge is limited by certain things like being a STEM major, living on campus without a car, living away from home, etc) but i love talking about stuff like this!!!! i wish you the best of luck in college and again im really sorry i didnt see this until like 2 months after you sent it, i hope college is going well for you!!! and for everyone else who started recently!!! also ill tag you to make sure you see this, i cant remember if it alerts you lol @rated-r-for-grantaire

[byunrelatable]

ok on the ask game, 5 + 19 !! this is gonna get long bear with me oof. i’ve confessed to two people, one was a boy that i was once close with but he ignored me after we broke up :”) it’s fine he’s an ass anyway. but the second person is my current gf and holy uh this is actually kinda personal so i won’t go too in depth but we can say i did it bc it was too much not to anymore (pt 1/?)

.hi kam!! i love u thanks for the asks and thanks for sharing your story!! im really glad things worked out with you and your gf, sounds like you two have truly been through thick and thin together, you must have a very strong bond. that makes my heart feel very warm, im so happy for you!!

im going to put the rest of your asks, as well as my responses to the questions, under the cut so this doesnt become a super long post. to answer 5 and 19 in short, i will say that my answer to 5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? is yes, and its an embarrassing story, it also involves underage drinking so anyone uncomfy with that should not look under the cut!! and my answer to 19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted, i’ll probably keep that answer pretty short but true to my word, everything is going under the cut from here on out. thank you for sharing your story kam

send me two way asks!!

here’s the rest of kam’s asks:

we didn’t date then bc things were complicated (like i said, pERSONAL) and i,,,, did it a second time with her months later,,,,, i wouldn’t have if my friends didn’t push me to do it but they did annnddd we started dating then!! and haaaaa i uh,,,, did it once more at the end of feb this year,,,,,, bc we weren’t together at the time (this is also very personal so i could tell you abt the whole thing privately if you wanted) (pt 2/?)

in short i woke up and she asked me to be her gf again sOo, lol it’s all fun. aaannnddd here we go okay i literally just texted my gf as i write this oof but i think one of the fondest memories i have is both kinda negative but i view it positively? it was around the end of january in 2016 and we had been talking for a month or so. at the time i wasn’t in the best state of mind. (pt ¾)

i don’t remember the conversation word for word, but i have recollection of crying a lot at school waiting for my exam and just realizing how much i cared abt her and her about me and i think that marks the moment we became best friends rlly and damn who would even think to get to where we are now oof not me?? (pt 4/4 i went all out i’m sorryajsndnf)

what a story!!! like i said before, im really glad it all came together in the end, and that you have such a wonderful supportive gf

5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? yeah okay. from seventh grade until 11th i had a huge crush on this boy in my class. he was always doing crazy cool exchange programs. in 8th grade he went to school in coasta rica for a year, we e-mailed (lmao) all the time while he was gone. he came back in 9th grade and i was so so excited to see him again. he left again in 10th grade, and that was a hard year for me. my dad and step mom (who practically raised me) were getting divorced and i was going through some weird shit with an older guy (gross. he’s gross and predatory and i didnt know better cause i was like 15/16). so i started drinking and sneaking out and partying. 

the kid i had a crush on came back in 11th grade and i was ecstatic. we picked up our friendship where we left it off. but here’s the kicker: he was (and probably still is? but probably isnt as much of a hardass about it) a devout christian, and drinking was NOT in line with his values. he had heard from his mom that i had been doing stuff like that, and he brought it up and said he was concerned. i told him i’d stop, because i was young and i had had a crush on this kid for over four years at this point, and our mutual friend kept dropping hints that he was interested, and.. sigh. so i told him i’d cut the partying and he said he had to see it. fast forward to spring, i applied and got into a program which sends students to japan for two weeks, and this kid also got in, and i was STOKED to be in japan with him for two weeks. the first week it was fun. our last night in tokyo, i wanted to spend some time alone with him, and the rest of our friends were planning to buy some sake (we were literally 16 but they did it, they didnt get carded) and drink it at the hotel, and they wanted me to distract him cause they were worried he’d rat them out, and i was so down to try that because i wanted to spend time with him anyways. so i asked if he wanted to go on an adventure–just go get on a random subway line and see where it leads. he kinda blew me off, which stung. then in an effort to get him to hang out with me, i told him what the other kids were planning (they had specifically told me not to tell him). i told him, and said “so i really think we should just go somewhere else so we dont have to be around that.” he didnt listen to me, instead he followed the rest of the group into the convenience store and they were like uhhh, then he went up to my friend hannah and was like “so you’re buying sake huh?” and she looked at me like what the fuck arianna and i looked at her like im sorry i couldnt get him to come with me and he was like whatever and then he left the convenience store and our other friend jay went with him. i assumed they went back to the hotel. so i went back as well but they werent there. when i asked someone else where they were, they said “oh, they went out into the city on a random subway line just to go on an adventure!” the literal exact thing i had suggested. i was livid. moreso, i was really hurt. so i decided to say fuck it and get drunk, cause i had been abstaining from alcohol ALL YEAR for the sake of this ONE GUY who had really played me and led me on ALL FUCKING YEAR and lowkey for the past FOUR YEARS. so i was like, whatever. so i got drunk. then jay and the guy came back from their adventure. i asked my other drunk companions if i seemed sober (bad, bad idea. they were not good judges) they all said i seemed fine, so i went to give the kid a piece of my mind. get to his room and its just him cause his roommate had been with us in the drinking room. so i say, hey i need to talk to you. the first thing he asks is if i had drank, and i said no, like a liar with a big fat crush. then we sit down on opposite beds, and i told him i was really hurt that he rejected my offer to go on an adventure and immediately did the same thing with jay. he gave me a bs excuse like “it was kinda spontaneous” and i was like, thats bullshit. then i poured out my heart, about crushing on him for the last four years, about being a good friend when he dated hannahkate in seventh grade, about always waiting for him to come back, about working so hard to stop drinking just to be the person he wanted me to be. and i told him i loved him.

his response? “thank you for telling me.” and it shattered my heart.

when he walked me to the door of his room, he said “by the way. you were slurring the whole time, and your breath smells like alcohol. i knew you had drank from the start.” needless to say, THAT was embarrassing.

i go back to the room, drink more, eventually everyone leaves and its me and hannah. i tell her what happened, freak out a bit, cry.

the next day we woke up kinda early and went to this man-made island place i dont remember the name of, and we spent the day there. i was really quiet and reserved all day (not like me, then or now). i did not eat. when we got back to the hotel that night, hannah gave me a melon bread, and i said i wasnt hungry. she said “you havent eaten all day. if you dont eat this right now, im going to take your phone, delete [kid’s name] from all your contacts, delete every picture or video you have on your phone, erase him from your life. do you want that?” to which i said, no. and i ate the bread. it was tough love and i needed it. i was a little better the next day.

a few days later in kyoto the kid and i talked on a rooftop at sunset. i felt a little better after that. it was hard going through all of that, after four years of pining for him, but.. it was good. it was closure. i laid my cards on the table, i finally told him how i felt, and he rejected me. and it hurt, but there was nothing left to say, and it finally closed that door that had been slightly ajar for four years. and i was able to move on after that, fairly quickly actually. jumping back into partying cause i didnt have someone to impress kind of helped. well, it also kind of spun my life off in a horrible direction that led to a horrible depressing senior year of high school, but thats another story.

yeesh, that was long. on to the next one!!

19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted the most recent person i texted is my friend named nico. the first memory that comes to mind is last summer, we used to hang out a lot, one night we went to this 24 hour diner called beth’s cafe that we both love. we went at like 4 am and it was so so so fun. afterwards we watched emperors new groove in his bed and then passed out. i love nico so much. we used to be a lot closer in the summer, but at the end of summer i fucked up and we had a falling out. we still are friends and we still talk (i.e. we texted today planning to hang out this week) but.. its not the same. and i really miss the way things were before. golly isnt that bittersweet. now im a lil sad. but thats okay

thank you to anyone who read all that garbage uidsgfihjs

[silks]

Waddup Lucy, so my birthday is in a week exactly so I'm having my annual meltdown about getting older (I'm still young tho???) And the gloomy future that lays ahead with too much responsibility and things to do and awful economy, yanno? So as someone who's older than me, could you pls tell me 5 things you love about your life ATM to reassure me shit doesn't totally hit the fan after school?? Ty 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 ~ flute anon

hey!! First of all happy early birthday!!! I hope u have a good bday!! and my bday is coming up too :0 I will be 19 on January 13!ok so I was rly rlly scared abt college. I didn’t wanna leave high school or grow up..... but I LOVE it. So much. so here’s what I love1. The friends u make in college? A million times better than high school friends.... u rlly find ur People... ur squad..... high school u kinda get stuck with people but College is so different! And you WILL find friends!! 2. the older u get the more u gonna glow up.... that’s rlly fun!! ur gonna look better and better and also get cooler !! 3. being independent I LOVE. I didn’t think I was ready for it cuz my mom raised me doing EVRRYTHING for me like I didn’t know how to clean or cook and I was barely able to make my own purchases cuz of social anxiety but honestly it was fine!! I figured it all out!! I was the most helpless person but there r always ppl to help u and u can always google shit !! 4. This is specific to me but I lov that I’m studying comedy.... it’s what I love and what I’m passionate abt and I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to major in comedic arts5. i love my family ... and getting to have more real discussions w them as I grow older and learning more abt the kind of ppl my parents were when they were my age!! My mom jus told me she would do poppers at gay clubs .... incredible. Also my mom & I are gonna have a wine night where we gonna drink wine together and watch movies and it’s gonna be so cute and fun! Idk if ur applying for college yet? But yeah that shit is gonna be stressful and complicated but you can figure it out. Use a planner!!! write out the due dates for everything u need!! put it on a poster in ur room .. whatever works best!! And if u have finished applying .... I know waiting sucks but just try to keep ur mind off of it and the letters will be here so quickly! College is so so great!! This is coming from someone who did not want to leave high school and had stress dreams about College all of senior year and summer and also is incredibly socially anxious and being in a new City around people I don’t know at all was my biggest fear..... but it was a million times easier than I thought. You can do this!! I was the same way (and the future still scares me) but right now u are GOOD and have nothing to worry about!! Good luck with life and I lov u!! Hope this helped u❤️❤️❤️

[danisnotofire]

hey im going to orientation in a few days and im rly nervous abt starting college, i was just wondering if you had any tips or any ~advice~ bc im like, lowkey freaking out ((also i also stage manage and i love musicals and astronomy (sry i was snooping around your about page)))

hey!!! ok i am so so so sorry this took so long lol i actually just went back to school myself to help out with a pre-orientation program and we’ve been having like 17 hour days so i’m Exhausted and haven’t had a lot of time to really give a thoughtful answer (UNTIL NOW). some of this is gonna sound cheesy, but this is Emma Danisnotofire’s Official Real List of Pro-Tips for College, so if it’s on here it’s true. that being said, i go to a medium/small school (4,000 students) in the middle of fucking nowhere, so some of my experiences are gonna be a lil different. most still apply. 

first off, it’s TOTALLY OKAY that you’re nervous. i know when i went i was highkey freaking out even more bc everybody else seemed to be just excited and i felt like i was the only one actually losing my mind from how scared i was. i didn’t sleep at all the night before i moved in. being scared is fine. you’ll probably be scared for awhile after you get there, too, and that’s absolutely okay. i remember it took me a solid few weeks for me to stop feeling nauseous from nerves whenever i woke up. i promise i promise this will go away. you will settle in and you’ll make friends and you’ll figure out where everything is and how things work, i PROMISE. 

second, once you get there, don’t be afraid to talk to people!! i know that sounds super cheesy and unhelpful, but seriously. talk to your orientation leaders!! they’re usually upperclassmen and 99% of the time they had to APPLY to get that position, and it’s because they’re so so excited to meet you!! i’m a mentor for this pre-o program (it’s arts-focused), and we all had to apply, and every single other mentor is super passionate not only about the arts but about making sure the incoming freshman feel comfortable and happy and at home right off the bat. we want to like you!! talk to us!!! talk to each other!! at my school, (bucknell), orientation is actually pretty fucking legendary (it’s 5 straight days of just. nonstop activities), so getting to know your group is always nice. good conversation starters include: compliment something they’re wearing/have done, mention pets, ask about what classes they’re taking. that’s usually where i start when i’m talking to my kids!! 

okay, now for some Actual Tangible Advice. most of this is actually taken from when i gave my friend natalie some advice about college, but it’s still applicable to you!! i’m putting it under a readmore bc It’s So Very Long, I’m Sorry, I Really Hope This Helps/Makes Up For Me Not Answering For So Long

-if you can, get a microwave. if you can’t, it’s nbd because there’s probably one in your dorm somewhere. but it’s really nice not to have to put on shoes/socks to go make ramen at 3am

-INVEST IN GOOD SOCKS!!!! srsly omg you’re never gonna wanna go anywhere barefoot, and dorm heating/cooling can be tricky. i treated myself to a 5-pair box where they’re all different classic art pieces. they’re GORGEOUS and super nice for when i can’t find my flip-flops.

-also, if you have birks. bring them. they are also good for sliding on when u really have to pee in the middle of the night and can’t for the life of u find anything else. also everyone i know wears birks casually (i have a 20 dollar pair of fake ones from american eagle lol)

-OLD NAVY HAS FLIP FLOPS 2 FOR 5 DOLLARS. they make the BEST shower shoes and also they come in so many lit colors they’re the bomb digs. these are also good if you don’t have a pair of birks

-if your dorm doesn’t have it already (most dorms don’t) BUY A SCREEN FOR YOUR WINDOW!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY if u hate bugs you do NOT want them coming in when all u want is some fresh air. my roommate last year brought one to school bc i didn’t even think about it and it was a LIFESAVER.

-if you can, get one of those febreeze scent things you plug in. if you aren’t allowed, there’s this thing called a scentsy that basically melts wax and it makes your room smell SO. GOOD. idk how much they cost but honestly you will be thankful you have it if you can get it (candles work too but most dorms don’t allow candles)  

-you don’t need a huge plastic shower caddy!! you can get a softer one and then hang it on a hook outside the shower or loop it around the shower knob. they’re probs better than a big hard one bc they won’t fill up with water and you can stash it easier. (i went with a big plastic one and it’s a hassle lol). however, if you already got a big plastic one, that’s cool too bc sometimes they come with a removable second smaller caddy, and that’s good for putting your phone in outside of the shower to play music.

-lofting your bed is super nice bc it gives you a little more privacy from your roommate (and privacy is so so so rare in college, esp in a dorm). it’s also nice bc if you’re up there and a friend walks into your room (which is bound to happen with dorm living, which is where i’m assuming ur living as a first-year) they won’t immediately see you, which gives you a few seconds to get ur shit together before they see you.

-HOWEVER!! there are a few downsides to lofting ur bed. the major one is that it’s a pain in the ass to not only get up there, but also to lug your laptop/charger/snacks/etc up there, and once you’re up u probably aren’t gonna wanna come down. also, i don’t know if you drink, (which btw totally cool if you don’t!!), but there was definitely one time where i was too drunk to climb into my bed (i know, i know, several bad choices were made that night and i regret all of them), but thankfully my roommate last year was a fucking goddess though (a definite Mom Friend) and pulled all my sleeping stuff down to the floor lol. it’s rare that something like that happens, but it’s definitely something u wanna take into consideration.

-college is infinitely emotionally taxing. face masks and shower bath-bombs (you put them on the floor of your shower and they slowly dissolve and release whatever scent they are) do LOADS to make u feel better. face masks are also good bonding with friends!! 

-some other self-care college tips: cafes will usually have either hot apple cider in the fall, or you can get steamed milk with vanilla in it and it’s very soothing and gentle and calming. i got it a lot when i was sick just bc it was warm and not difficult to stomach. 

-also baking. if you get a few friends and bake something, it is 1) bound to be hilarious and 2) everyone who walks by will love you. we once made cinnamon buns, except instead of individual ones we made one big disgusting MegaBon, and we still talk about it to this day. it’s the name of our group chat lmaooo

-you can literally never have too much storage. plastic bins, crates, etc. never too much.

-you will leave college with so much more stuff than what you came with. holy shit. you will also get so many t-shirts??? see above. you’ll need storage.

-college is also the definition of ‘Everything is Happening All The Time’, and ur probably gonna make friends who try and do Everything. it took me super long to internalize the fact that it’s okay to like, say no to doing something and take a nap instead. not all the time, sometimes its good to force urself out of your room, but you can stay in on a saturday every once in a while! it doesn’t matter. 

-that being said, do try and go out of your comfort zone a little!! i was definitely not the type to do this in high school, but these days i’ll sometimes go to frat parties!! they’re actually really fun when you go with friends (and always go with friends!!!). it doesn’t even necessarily need to be parties either. audition for a capella. stage manage a show. do a club sport. there’s so much you can do!! (i actually didn’t follow my own advice here last year, i was too terrified to do a lot of things. i did theatre though, which ended up taking up most of my time anyway, but i still wish i had done more, hence why i’m doing this program right now! don’t be like first-year me. be better!)

-HOWEVER here are some (frat) party tips: girls can usually get into parties much easier than guys can, but either way don’t try to go out until around october/late september. the first few weeks back are for upperclassmen catching up with friends . go with a group, and STAY with your group. please. no girl left behind. they usually only serve shitty beer, and ofc you should keep your eyes on it the whole time. if you put it down, just go get another one instead of picking that one up again. also, invest in a shitty coat/gross pair of shoes specifically to wear to the frats. the floors are gross, and you’re probs gonna end up storing your jacket behind a trash can in the winter bc it’s too fucking hot inside the room to keep it on. (is this coat thing just a bucknell thing?? this might just be a bucknell thing). 

-more drinking/etc/stuff: know your rights. RAs are not allowed to look through drawers/open closets when doing room searches, so if you have wine or anything, make sure it’s hidden in somewhere they’re not allowed to touch.

-THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: if someone has drank too much, BACKPACK THEM. get them into bed while wearing a filled up backpack. it prevents people from rolling over and choking on their vomit. i cannot emphasize how important it is for you to backpack someone. if you can, stay with them to make sure they’re okay. also, don’t be afraid to let them throw up before they go to bed. it helps. they’ll usually feel better. 

-if you can, get a job that lets you sit down. receptionist, librarian, etc. these are the best, bc sometimes you’ll get the  chance to study or get paid for doing nothing. also? receptionist looks SUPER good on a resume. also? money is nice.

-LOCK YOUR DOOR!!!!! I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY WHEN SOME WEIRD SENIOR BOY WALKED INTO MY ROOM DRUNK AT 3AM AND WOULDN’T LEAVE. also, you’ll make friends in the first week that you won’t necessarily want to be friends with later on, but they won’t get that message lol. again, lock your door (learned that the hard way, too)

-for future semesters, if you can’t get into a class right away it REALLY helps to email the professor!!! seriously, 9 times out of 10 they are more than happy to let an extra person in, because there are always students who drop the class within the first week or two. that’s how i got into astronomy my first semester, and i’m now a teacher’s assistant for it. so. really, it helps.

-the best way to be better friends with people is to just, get meals with them. honestly. make a group chat with some people and whenever ur getting dinner or lunch or whatever just throw out a ‘hey anyone wanna get food with me??’ text. 90% of the time someone will come with you.

-speaking of meals tho, ik this is the number 1 thing people tend to say, but it’s tRUE. nobody cares if you eat alone. it too me SO LONG to internalize this, but it’s totally fine to do!! it’s actually really nice sometimes, you can bring homework or your laptop and get some work done. it’s not even with meals, either! you can study alone! you can walk places alone! you can go to the gym alone! i was always terrified of being seen alone bc i thought people were gonna think i didn’t have friends or w/e dumb thing my anxiety had me feeling, (i still struggle with that lmao) but in reality you just look independent and cool!!! also, it helps to be content in the fact that you have friends and it doesn’t matter if people THINK you don’t.

-get a reusable water bottle. i got a plastic one for like 12 bucks, and i use it DAILY. if ur walking a lot, it helps keep you hydrated. also, it gives you something to do in class. also, you can personalize it with stickers and stuff (you can do the same with a laptop case). i p much take mine with me EVERYWHERE.

-this was also hard for me to internalize, but u gotta remember the fact that it’s okay not to be who u were in high school. like, i gave up some of the things i was into in high school in favor of some other things, and it took me awhile to figure out that i wasn’t like, betraying anyone, if that makes sense?? like, i started going to frat parties and actually having FUN at them??? (something i NEVER would have been into in high school, but here we are).

-also, grades are very different in college. i freaked out when i wasn’t getting a 4.0, because that’s who i was in high school, but then i kinda put it in perspective. i ended with a 3.67, which is still dean’s list. you’re not going to be perfect, bc chances are you ended up at a school with people on kinda equal intelligence levels as you. don’t freak out. 

okay that’s pretty much it!!! i can def come up with more stuff tailored to certain things/etc if you want me to talk more about this stuff!!! i love giving college advice and talking and helping people feel better about this whole thing bc i know it’s hard and scary

[cheswirls]

a quick sum-up of che’s future career plans, bc reasons

im halfway through the dive!! anime show that came out this summer season, and i’m having a lot of thoughts, and plus i finished going through all the footage i missed today of skate america while i was at a bball game, and it’s made me realize different things i guess? 

it might be mid-long length so its going under a cut, but to gain intereststart off, this is all about my desire to be an athletic trainer for the usa olympic center at colorado springs, co !

ive been an at(now when you see that abb. you know what it means hah!! not assistant teacher hmm) student since my freshman year of high school, and i’ve loved it a whole bunch. back then i was set on going to columbia U for their writing program, and i wanted to major in graphic design afterwards/during/it wasnt super planned out i was a fr. i didnt know what bfa or mfa stood for yet. it wasnt until end of sophomore year than i thought about being an at for realsies.

but i also still loved gd. so there was a confliction there.

junior year i took a break from working volleyball in the fall and did my one and only year of football and it was terrible primarily bc the team i worked with didnt know how to function as a group and half the group were selfless bitch whores but like thats another storyyy, secondly bc i jus really discovered i didnt care abt football at all. it was mostly for the experience and i gained it and i liked it bc i hung out w a lot of people from helping out w varsity (i was one of two our of the five juniors that had been there since my fr year and was only on jv bc it was my first year w football, but one of the seniors had to work a bunch so when they needed an extra person i was the one w the most experience so i was w them a lot,) point was it was fun!!! and you have fun w ppl you like that you dont work w all the time and i shouldnt say fun bc lots of times it was awful,

basically! it was fun being w the varsity trainers which were the seniors and the other junior that had been around since fr year. volleyball was fun but it had always been a one-at-student-per-team sport , so it was different jus being w other ats that shared the same team and not the same sport(which in the us is made up of at least three different teams, a fr,jv,and varsity). it was a more open environment and so it inspired a lot of talk with the at grad students we had that semester (we got 3-4 every semester in a partnership w the D1 uni in town, it was always cool to hear stories from them!) and anyway i remember talking w a couple of the grads one practice and we were discussing all the different occupations athletic trainers could have, and what they wanted to work with in the future, and the topic veered towards professional sports and the olympics.

i thought it was really cool when we were talking about it, and then we got busy and it flew out of my mind. i dont remember when it came back and became a focus, but sometime before my senior year, i had decided i wanted to work at the olympic level.

real quick i mentioned gd and the struggle, so to bring that into focus, my junior year i took a whole bunch of different tech classes (gd&i, compsci, webtech) and in one of those, i had the opportunity to go to a ... i cant remember what the term was for it, but it was kinda an event for gd students and it had a little competition and stuff, and it was really fun! nd you got a lot of info abt the community college hosting it and i learned their program was really good, so the gd versus at internal struggle continued, and i remember talking to my sponsor teacher (she actually taught all three of my tech classes that year aaa i loved her) about how i didnt know what to do and shit and i dunno what she told me but like, i think she was trying to be encouraging but she basically said it was up to me, like she didnt try and nod me into a direction, that i can recall.

so SOMEHOW bc i honestly cannot remember, by senior year i’ve decided that im gonna jus fuck it and pick BOTH and double major in gd and athletic training. AND i had it all planned out, where i was gonna get a degree in gd and open up an online business, and then go into a masters program for at and then enter into the olympic field. 

by this point creative writing is still cool and a great hobby but i couldnt possibly double major AND have a minor that’d be too much. id still love to take a cw course tho one day.

basically a buncha crazy stuff happened that first semester but by winter break i had an acceptance letter to a uni a couple hours north of home with a good accredited undergrad program (accredited basically means you graduate w a masters in four years so its fasttracked which woulda been great but uh..) and by the time i found out that next semester that they were doing away with the accredited program i was already too emotionally invested to consider panic-switching(panic bc it was february and id already been admitted hah...) but i decided it’d be okay. basically if you dont remember/werent around one of my school’s head ats died in a car crash died around early october ‘16. she went to undergrad where i go now, and i’d talked to her about it september that semester wondering if she knew anything abt their program and uh surprise, she’d done the same program small world. after the funeral in november and a ton of thought i applied there. (november was.. crazy in general last year. rly crazy)

may was when i started adding on sports to the future olympics job, bc i started thinking about it and after finally getting a friend to watch yuri on ice, he started making his was through all of sochi’s figure skating stuff, and then the 2010 vancouver olympics, and i decided i wanted to recap a bit on that too.

the 2010 olympics was really my first experience with figure skating. i’m a west texas gal and so theres not a lot out here to get exposed to, so seeing these best-of-the-best class sports was fun, and the earliest experience i can remember of such. i was in fifth grade so i dont remember a ton, but i do remember being captivated by korea’s yuna kim, who won gold that year in fs. shes an fs legend at this point, so if you’re into figure skating and don’t know who she is, go look her up. you wont be disappointed.

in 2012 was the london olympics. i remember a lot from it, like watching the opening ceremony with my parents and seeing the queen jump out of a helicoptor(which is like,, still cool to this day wow) and being fascinated my michael phelps and all the swimming he did so grandly. it was also my first real exposure to diving. the oldest i could recall anything abt the sport was at a pizza hut somewhere.. in town i think, and i was w my best friend at the time and my mom was there so i think maybe we were on the way back from the lake??? sounds right, i think. and we were talking abt how i always held my nose when i went underwater bc i didnt know how to not get water all up my nostrils and be underwter(and i still dont to this day aha) and she mentioned like, joining a diving team would be cool! would help me get over it and all! and i like recalling it dunno what she was talking abt bc we lived in dirt city nothing so i highly doubt there was or is any sort of diving sport happening. swimming, yeah maybe, there were lessons at pools and bodyworks areas around town, competitive teams im not sure tho, but not diving like at all so??? dunno.

so my next and technically first real experience with it was watching the london olympics. and i thought, wow, this is so neat!! i watched from that one day like the opening events, and i think i was old enough to search online like yea i had a laptop by then so i looked up the schedule for the things i wanted to see most of, and i ended up watching i think most of the diving events (i missed a couple for.. archery, i think? maybe?) and absolutely loving it. iunno what it was, maybe something i never thought i could do?(bc not hold my nose?? while i dove???????? scaryy) but i enjoyed it a bunch.

i was older when sochi was a thing, my 8th grade year. i was able to appreciate things a lot more. when i tuned into events, tony hawk and snowboarding were the main focus, but figure skating was on a lot as well. i had a tv in my room by that point, so if i didnt like what was playing on the main tv, i could go watch another event. i learned a lot of names and faces through that, and so while my bff was watching it our senior year if i was with him id point out skaters and their nationalities and stuff, like yuzuru hanyus always been a modern day household name w figure skating, but i leanred abt him BECAUSE of the sochi olympics, and he was one of the ones i’ve never forgotten. i really really liked it, so much that i watched worlds after, and around the same time my fr year, i tuned in to just the worlds championship again. i didn’t pick up trying to watch grand prix(which is their regular season, for those unaware) season until my junior year, and most of it was day-or-two-late videos from youtube, since the ice channel i think it a paid-for thing (i still dont know much abt it hah) and nothing was on tv otherwise, aside from the skate america event. but since that first time after sochi, ive always been around watching worlds fs near the beg of each year. i’d familiarized myself by senior year with the fs world, and actually,

early (i think march?) of my junior year, i searched up trying to find a figure skating anime at the time. and what did i find?? ginban, the only figure skating anime at the time. i watched like maybe all of one episode, it was abt a girl who shared her body w the ghost of a former figure skater while she was competing in events, and it was.. okay? lackluster, in the animation dept, but it was a 2005 show so.. yeah.

so after that i was like kk that wasnt good lets find another. and i didnt. not yet, anyway. instead, i found an announcement for violet evergarden’s animated adaptation, and yuri on ice, a realistic adaptation of the sport of figure skating. thats bolded bc its important. i found that shit abt yoi before it even had a promo poster, certainly before the pv came around that got everyone hyped up. i found it bc i was looking for figure skating in the first place. in fact, i think when the pv came out and got popular, i didnt even relate it to the upcoming fs anime i’d read about previously. it took me a bit to connect the dots. 

watching yuri on ice at the same time as the gp 2016 season was surreal, but really interesting. i got my bff into it before the second to last episode came out, and i only remember that bc he finally showed any interest when he found something on twitter abt it being gay (newsflash/// hes gay, and before yoi his fav show was no6 bc that was as close as it got. he still rly likes it, we both do, but his solid favc is now definitely yoi. representation matters and all) and was like well now i HAVE to watch it and i was all yes it ends soon so pls. and he watched it twice in a weekend, and thrice before the finale came out, and then a few more times after that, iunno how many times but certainly more thn i have(i went back after the .. maybe ep 10? w/e ending had the after party reveal that changed everything, so i went back to analyze everything before the next ep) and between the week of 11 and finale 12, he started watching the sochi fs competition, and then the 2010 after the show ended w ep 12. 

seeing this great fs show and getting a friend into the world of figure skating really renewed my love for it all. before the semester went out i went back and watched the reruns of the sochi fs stuff. and by may i’d decided i wanted to cosider that to be the sport i worked with.

with diving, it took a similar twist. in the form of the rio 16 olympics. i was all over that shit, i downloaded an nbc app on my phone so i could watch events live while i traveled with volleyball to a tournament in dallas and while i was at practice w them at home and generally jus away from the house and a tv. i planned that shit out had a schedule and everything for what i was watching live, and a lot of it was swimming, but a whoooole lot of live stuff was the diving. 

in the hotel room in dallas the tv would always be on to w/e olympics events were airing at the time, either track or diving tho, one or the other, or recaps. quite a few girls ended up in the room in the evening and we’d all do stuff and watch in passing at the same time, and it was suuuuuper fun. watching the chinese women perform flawlessly and walk away w all the gold was fun, but finding a good commentator to actually say such was a disheartening challenge( one of the most memorable moments w live commentary that year was hearing a woman say of one of the chinese ladies that she’d done better before, after they revealed her personal best score ever like rly cmon be unbiased and jus passionate abt the sport youre covering pls.

ive always been super fond of the diving scene. it may not be as much as fs, but honestly, i wish i grew up in an area w a diving team now, or wish i could try it out now, bc thats how much fun it seems. i still wanna go up to the big city like 30min away from uni and learn to ice skate in the civic center there, but hands down if i had to pick a sport to join tomorrow or die i’d pick diving. 

so also by may, and throughout the culmination of senior year, diving was the second sport on the olympic to-train-for list. you get a five-year contract w the olympics, now i think it’s usa as a whole and i think its by center so say, if i get a job in colorado springs i cant apply in another five years to chula vista or even like lake placid, but iunno for sure. the five-year thing is involved somehow bc i’ve heard it from a physical therapist and trainer-that-works-in-a-sports-med-clinic duo in one body named sarah, who’s been contracted out from the clinic by my high school since junior year also, bc she knows people who’ve worked w the olympics, and then another from church that worked w olympics that knows my family uh iunno how well but i know of him, i think he also works in the clinic as some sort of on-hand surgeon but a diff person than who sarah knew. so its five years somehow and then i’ll take my bfa in gd and open my online business and do that from a studio at home and look after my owl/cat pet combo.

since may, it had been ‘olympics, with either figure skating or diving’. and it stayed that for a long time. now, since a couple weeks ago, and this is again while gp season is happening for fs, its diving. i wanna work w the usa olympic diving team as their team athletic trainer, and i cant do it this summer bc i have to have completed two years of uni, instead of a certain standing, like be a junior, but so NEXT summer, before my senior year of uni, (i came in a sopho so 6 sem only ah) i’m applying for an internship at the center in colorado springs, and that’s the team i hope i work with. 

now i tell people, diving, but if i get offered figure skating, i’ll take it, but diving is the goal now. if i love it and wanna continue professionally, great, i can do that and have an online gd shop. and if i decide i want something different? i’ll work olympics and then join w a professional-level figure skating i actually dunno how it works. coach, and their skater in turn. coach, with multiple skaters under them. a culmination of diff usa skaters. w/e, something in the professional fs world.

and thats uh, thats it! dive has been so much fun to watch, and i realize i talk a lot on here about working w basketball and being an at student in general and the vast majority have no idea what i mean, so hopefully this clarifies. thank you!!