#this arc is going to feature a lot of pain and a lot of healing

[quitealotofsodapop]

(resending because it looks like some of my asks got deleted)

[Im uber excited to read more your fic btw!]

I'm glad that you're excited for the fic! I'm going to split up the story arcs into their own fics and turn it into a series! book 1 will feature Wukong's journey and following isolation up to a hero is born.

[...Peach chips at least dont seem to trigger the worst of his food adversion though, the crunchy chip texture seems to cancel it out.]

at least he can still get the flavor through the chips

[...So the idea that MK potientially remembers Wukong from this time is a huge shock to him.] + [MK, clueless: "Umm... their hair was a warm orange-y color. Like the sun. And I think their eyes was this really shiny yellow, or maybe amber colour? Oh! And they had this round stomach - I remember hugging it..." *gets kinda wistful* "I don't know why I'm not with them anymore, but hope they're doing ok if they're still out there."]

upon learning that MK kinda remembers him Wukong def feels guilty about not being able to raise himself, especially with the fact that MK doesn't hold anything against his "birth mother" for giving him up.

but then MK being a monkey comes out of the bag in s4 and MK and Wukong actually get to talk about it. it's a very emotional conversation, with Wukong having come to terms while in the scroll about all of his reasons for not being able to raise MK, and MK just being the sweetest most understanding boy ever, even if he wishes he could have known sooner. they come out of that conversation stronger.

what if after MK learned he was a monkey when he and Macaque go into the scroll to get Wukong they stumble upon a memory of a tiny baby monkey that looks like his monkey form cuddling into Wukong's stomach like MK remembers doing with his "birth mom" and that's how he realizes that Wukong was the person he thought was his mom. when he faced the scroll's curse he got flashes of his life before the noodle shop, but nothing that revealed anything about his birth mom except the small flash of Nuwa, so the sudden, proper reveal still takes him by surprise. he also stumbles upon the memory of Wukong crying as he makes the decision to and give away MK.

[Wukong def was hit hard by Ao Lie's passing. It pains him to give the godparent title to anyone else...]

In a way, giving the title to anyone else probably feels like the final straw of admitting that Ao Lie really is truly gone. but admitting that finally means learning to let go, allowing Wukong to grow and heal from his grief which in turn will lead to him isolating himself less. character development ya'know, and in the end he probably feels like moving on is one of the best things to honor his late brother's memory, Ao Lie would want him to move on and find joy in what he has now.

[...PIF just looks over at Red Son, alive and healthy, and just hugs Wukong the next time she sees him.]

Wukong is def very confused when he and DBK go to tell PIF that they have a plan to stop the bone demon but it involves giving the fire back to Red Son, and before he can even say hi she has him in a bear hug. he isn't used to this, he is very confused.

[And when Yuebei is born having "imprinted" on Wukong's yearning/love for Macaque...] + [Both monkey parents are sobbing, especially when they learn that Yuebei was unconciously trying her best to look like Macaque's baby with the limited genetics available. Wukong has multiple centuries of love to dish out, and Macaque is catching up fast.]

Macaque, as happy as he is that she looks enough like him that he can pass as the baby-daddy, def feels a bit guilty upon learning that the only reason that is is because of how how much Wukong missed him after he left. he loves being a parent to Yuebei, but as much as he loves people assuming that she is his their likeness also serves as a reminder that he wasn't there.

he has a lot of time to make up for, and he plans on getting right on that.

[PIF: *seeing the baby's dark fur and glowing ears* PIF (whispering so not to wake the baby): "I fcking knew it." Macaque: *is too tired/proud to argue with her* "Yeaaah..." :')]

Macaque is honestly just happy he's allowed to be involved in baby's life.

[Red has no idea what to do in response to all this baby talk, so he just; tries to apologise to SWK for setting him on fire a bunch as a toddler??] + [Mei, PIF and Jiuweihuli get talking and soon Wukong is looking at a baby shower akin to a red carpet event.]

hey, it was a delicious cake. though Wukong is pretty sure cakes aren't supposed to be spicy.

the attention Mei and the older ladies are giving him over the pregnancy is honestly a little overwhelming at times due to how unexpected it is. especially from PIF and Macaque's adopted mom figure, he'd thought the two of them would be far more mad about mac dying then anything else. he does apologizes to Jiuweihuli about bonking her over the head that one time when he was hormonal and stressed when they get a proper chance to talk.

[You'd honestly be more afraid of that baby.]

absolutely.

if the infamous "god killer" is set to show up and then you learn that the god killer is the child of the Sun Wukong, menace to the heavens, and earned her title before she was even out if the womb, that is terrifying. imagine what she'll be like when she gets older and starts combat training.

[like turning the Medusa's head into a shield.] +[Her staff being a gift from her parents that has no inate magic ability beyond the fact that she puts her trust in it as her first "real" weapon.] + [I can imagine she uses a glamour/quick magic to put the skull/mask on (like Dr Facillier in "Friends on the Other Side") as a way of saying "You're f*cked" to her opponents.]

the medusa comparison is awesome and on point!

I love idea she puts so much trust she puts into the staff because it was her first proper weapon. I feel she also puts a lot of trust into it because it's from her parents.

I love the Dr. Facillier comparison, I was thinking of her swishing her mask on like a miraculous lady bug transformation.

[I'm excited to see how your drawings go!]

I'll be sure to share soon!

[Wukong and Macaque are def panicking, though its more an excited kind of panicking. Nezha and MK are def screaming. Guanyin is the only one with a cool head the entire time.] + [Pigsy is good at pretending he isn't worried, but he ends up tearing apart the campsight's kitchen in a hurry to make enough food for everyone.]

everyone is panicking, just to different lengths. Wukong for his own sake is trying to keep his excitement to a manageable level, Macaque is notably not, portaling warm blankets and pillows and water and towels to the campsite or wherever the end up settling for Wukong's labor to play out (i like to think Guanyin takes everyone to the south sea). Mei and MK are shaking each other and screaming while Red Son tries to calm them down, Ne Zha is running around doing everything Guanyin asks of him to keep himself distanced from hyperventilating. Tang is torn between trying not to be sick and writing about what's going on, Pigsy is already tearing apart the kitchen, and Sandy is politely calling the Demon Bull parents to let them know where they are, that they're all safe, and that the baby is on the way! while keeping LBD's host preoccupied.

[Especially when DBK and PIF realise what's happening, and are posted incase Wukong's baby causes as much trouble for him as Red did to them.]

the bull family are on their way the second they hear about what's going on. they aren't missing the birth for anything, and they wanna be there for their family. also they need to check in on Red Son

[Guanyin has a secret stash in the Southern Ocean of all the letters and tapes (and even some drawings of what she might have looked like) Wukong ever made for Yuebei, in case he wasn't able to give them to her in person. Yuebei ends up finding them when she's a moody teenager, mad at her baba for something stupid.]

Guanyin is there to go through all them with her, Yuebei is amazed at much her baba loved her well before she was ever born, even if it becomes a little bittersweet after she learns that he could have died for her to be born and was willing to go through with the pregnancy anyway, for the sake of the baby he loved so much he may have never been able to meet. when she goes home she gives her baba a big hug. Yuebei: *walks into to the house* BABA Wukong: *not expecting her back so soon* oh! Yuebei, are you okay, I'm sorry about the fight earlier I was- Yuebei: *tackles him into a hug, muffled talking with her face buried in her Baba's chest* m'sorry, I love you. Wukong: *a little surprised but happy* love you too little one ps: what do you think Wukong would use as an affectionate nickname for Yuebei in this au? also, at what point do you think her name was decided on.

[Pre-series; In absense of any other godparent... I bet Wukong would have trusted Yuebei with Guanyin if possible. The goddess would have gladly taken the infant had Wukong not survived the birth, though it would pain her for many centuries to come.]

they absolutely would, even if looking at Yuebei would always be bittersweet long after it stopped actually hurting whenever she saw Wukong in her. I feel like in the event she was left in Guanyn's care, Guanyin wouldn't hide her parentage, and the first time Yuebei asks about details at like 10yo or something and they spend the next few hours going through the things Wukong left for her (except for anything specifically for certain dates/milestones).

[Once the relationship between Wukong and Mac improves, so does the baby's reaction to Mac's voice (symbolism). She finally starts to associate the "bad" voice with her bama, and soon it's not a "bad voice" anymore. Though there probably is a weird bridge-point where Mac has to put on silly accents/voices when he baby-talks to Yuebei or else she'll get mad at him.]

Macaque def cries at every big relationship milestone between him and Yuebei (and him and Wukong, seeing how much Wukong has changed for the better makes him very hopeful they could have the life they promised each other, but seeing how much Wukong has also been hurting he is very grateful he has the oppurtunity to make things better. ultimately, he is very grateful he made the decision to stay and not squander the chance). but there's def a period of time in there where anytime Macaque and Wukong get in a fight (because healing and reconciliation isn't linear) it sets his relationship with Yuebei back a couple squares.

I always thought that Macaque having six sensitive ears and being a theater performer would make him a killer at vocals, and he can change his voice pretty much at will to something completely random, someone else's voice if he hears them, or mimic the sounds of animals and/or other non-living objects that produce sounds. so he would absolutely nail and accents and voices he needs to do to keep Yuebei appeased. he probably at some point mimics Wukong's voice in order to calm her down, because out of all her "good sounds" her baba's is the most "safe".

[Yellowtusk immediately notices and warns Azure to let the cub down so she can at least crawl and inspect her new surroundings. Peng laughs at the thought of letting "the hatchling" decide the terms of her imprisonment.] + [Then Peng feels a tiny, but powerful, hand grab their wing feathers...] + [Yellowtusk leaves before the carnage reaches him.]

the brotherhood assumes Yuebei is also Macaque's kid like everyone else, and because of this Peng def is not above teasing the already fussy infant monkey. Yellowtusk is looking at his brothers either ignore or "torment" the infant of at least one if not two of their other sworn brothers. he realizes in that moment that the other two aren't who he thought they were, or at the very least they aren't anymore, but most importantly they aren't the type of people he wants to be involved with. the change of heart leads him to not feeling to bad when leaving his brothers to their fate when Yuebei has enough for the sake of his own safety.

(dont worry you asks didnt get deleted, Im just very lazy/bust with college)

referencing this previous Slow boiled au post.

[I'm glad that you're excited for the fic! I'm going to split up the story arcs into their own fics and turn it into a series! book 1 will feature Wukong's journey and following isolation up to a hero is born.]

I wait with bated subscribe button.

[upon learning that MK kinda remembers him Wukong def feels guilty about not being able to raise himself, especially with the fact that MK doesn't hold anything against his "birth mother" for giving him up. but then MK being a monkey comes out of the bag in s4 and MK and Wukong actually get to talk about it. it's a very emotional conversation, with Wukong having come to terms while in the scroll about all of his reasons for not being able to raise MK, and MK just being the sweetest most understanding boy ever, even if he wishes he could have known sooner. they come out of that conversation stronger. what if after MK learned he was a monkey when he and Macaque go into the scroll to get Wukong they stumble upon a memory of a tiny baby monkey that looks like his monkey form cuddling into Wukong's stomach like MK remembers doing with his "birth mom" and that's how he realizes that Wukong was the person he thought was his mom. when he faced the scroll's curse he got flashes of his life before the noodle shop, but nothing that revealed anything about his birth mom except the small flash of Nuwa, so the sudden, proper reveal still takes him by surprise. he also stumbles upon the memory of Wukong crying as he makes the decision to and give away MK.]

THIS WHOLE IDEA!!!

Wukong doesn't want to tell MK the truth cus he think's he'll hate him for having to give him up.

When MK and Mac see the memory of a baby monkey demon hugging (a much more sad-looking) Wukong's stomach, the memories all come flooding back to MK about who he thought was his "birth mother" . Even though he knows the Monkey King isn't really his birth parent (glaring at Nuwa), he knew that the choice to raise MK fell on his heavy shoulders. Even if MK is a *little* upset when he finds out via S4 Memory Scroll-ing with Macaque that he's a monkey demon, MK understands that the Monkey King was simply unable to care for him while he lacked a support system. Wukong wanted MK to have a "normal" childhood that he was denied, and that simply wasn't possible on FFM at the time.

Ultimately MK is glad that Wukong had the good judgement to leave MK with Pigsy all those years ago, no matter how much it hurt.

They find the memory of Wukong standing outside in the city streets, affixing a strong glamour spell to the baby's head, and sobbing as he forces himself to stop holding them long enough to disappear and make a noise that alerts the pig chef inside the shop. It's very Meet the Robinson's esque.

The first thing MK does when he reunites with Wukong, is hug him tight and say "I never blamed you." Wukong is confused until the realisation that MK was in his memories kicks in, and he starts sobbing too.

[In a way, giving the title to anyone else probably feels like the final straw of admitting that Ao Lie really is truly gone. but admitting that finally means learning to let go, allowing Wukong to grow and heal from his grief which in turn will lead to him isolating himself less. character development ya'know,]

Yeah, even if the decision to give DBK the title of "Godfather" was pretty rash in the moment, Wukong eventually hits a point where him and DBK end up having a talk about the monkey's "late younger brother" when Wukong hesistate to make it official.

DBK is understanding of why Wukong finds it hard to move on from Ao Lie's passing. He wouldn't know what he would have done if he'd lost his Xiandi all those centuries ago. DBK is patient enough to let his little bro come to terms with this emotional hurdle. He just wished he had more time to know this odd, horse-like dragon that Wukong adored as a brother.

The convo probably happens at the same time they decide to give Red Son back the Samadhi Fire + PIF giving Wukong's an unexpected hug.

[Macaque, as happy as he is that she looks enough like him that he can pass as the baby-daddy, def feels a bit guilty upon learning that the only reason that is is because of how how much Wukong missed him after he left. he loves being a parent to Yuebei, but as much as he loves people assuming that she is his their likeness also serves as a reminder that he wasn't there. he has a lot of time to make up for, and he plans on getting right on that.]

OH you better believe post S3 Macaque is running up that Dad hill full sprint to be there for Yuebei. Even if him and Wukong take a while to confront their issues, and have a fight or two, Mac ultimately wants to BE THERE for the King who missed him so much, and the cub that changed it's appearance to reflect that.

S4 is Macaque busting on through, resolving any petty fights him and Wukong had in the past, saving his mate and cub, and developing a fatherly attitude towards MK. This is THEIR happy ending, and Mac's not gonna let Azure take that away from them.

Fun fact; since Stone Eggs are able to "steal" the Dao of others, it ws common in Stone Monkey days for widowed monkeys to start the egg-making process while buried next to their mate in hopes that both of their traits lived on in the baby. It's influenced a lot by yearning/want of the parent for their mate (the supernatural "other parent").

[the attention Mei and the older ladies are giving him over the pregnancy is honestly a little overwhelming at times due to how unexpected it is. especially from PIF and Macaque's adopted mom figure, he'd thought the two of them would be far more mad about mac dying then anything else.]

Wukong is def confused but amused by how much PIF and Jiuweihuli are adoring of him, but are shooting Mac the stinkeye. PIF has already declared herself the baby's Godmother in partnership with her husband's title, and Jiuweihuli is treating the situation as if she's expecting a grandchild. Even when Wukong explains that Mac only "started the process", that doesn't deter the demonesses.

Wukong is ofc overwhelmed by the positive attention, and scurries away for a break once the womens' backs are turned. Red Son offering him a confused, but tasty spiced cake is like a breath of fresh air.

[if the infamous "god killer" is set to show up and then you learn that the god killer is the child of the Sun Wukong, menace to the heavens, and earned her title before she was even out if the womb is terrifying. imagine what she'll be like when she gets older and starts combat training.]

Yuebei, aka "The God Killer" toddles into a fancy heavenly party and all the Celestials scatter like they saw a tiger enter the room. The infant monkey just jumps on the banquet table and starts chowing down on the hors d'oeuvres like her baba before her.

[I love idea she puts so much trust she puts into the staff because it was her first proper weapon. I feel she also puts a lot of trust into it because it's from her parents. I love the Dr. Facillier comparison, I was thinking of her swishing her mask on like a miraculous lady bug transformation.]

Yuebei and her big bro MK share the trait of "I believe, so it is", and that includes her super-cool FIRST STAFF that was probably made from a completely normal stalk of bamboo by Wukong and Mac as a birthday gift.

Ooo I like that Ladybug idea for her skull-mask. Magical girl transformation except she's dressed to reap souls. >:3

Oh gosh now Im thinking of little Yuebei being obsessed with Sailor Moon. XD

[everyone is panicking, just to different lengths.] + [while keeping LBD's host preoccupied.]

The campsite is just a warzone of panicking found family members as they scramble to get things ready for the baby's arrival. I love the idea of Sandy having enough sense to call DBK and PIF on the phone to give them a heads-up.

And poor Bai He. Just got over being possessed for x-amount of months by an ancient world-ending demon, and now she's just swept up in the chaos that a baby is coming!? She probably "heard" things while being piloted by LDB, so she knows "someone" is having a baby, she just doesn't understand the context. Especially considering that the monkey demon couple (one's the Monkey King?!) have been tending to her like parents the whole trip home. and- "Is that lady Guanyin?"

Bai He def has a "she's so cute!"-moment when she sees Yuebei for the first time. She's cuter than a kitten! :3

[the bull family are on their way the second they hear about what's going on. they will do what they have to for their family.]

The second that the Bull Couple learn that Wukong is ok after LBD's defeat, they're flying over to see if their Xiandi is ok. DBK has to be reprimanded for almost getting into a fight with Nezha over their protective instincts towards Wukong in this state.

[Guanyin is there to go through all them with her, Yuebei is amazed at much her baba loved her well before she was ever born, even if it becomes a little bittersweet after she learns that he could have died for her to be born and was willing to go through with the pregnancy anyway, for the sake of the baby he loved so much he may have never been able to meet. when she goes home she gives her baba a big hug. Yuebei: *walks into to the house* BABA Wukong: *not expecting her back so soon* oh! Yuebei, are you okay, I'm sorry about the fight earlier I was- Yuebei: *tackles him into a hug, muffled talking with her face buried in her Baba's chest* m'sorry, I love you. Wukong: *a little surprised but happy* love you too little one]

OOOOUHHH!! Yuebei having the realisation in her teens about how much Wukong sacrificed/could have lost to ensure she was born safetly!! Yuebei def stares at the tapes Guanyn provides in silence, tears rolling down her face as she sees and hears her Baba in different eras, telling his baby that they may never meet but that he loves them no matter what!!

Yuebei would feel so guilty for running off after a petty fight with her Baba! Especially if one of the things she yelled at Wukong was along the lines of; "You never do anything for me!"

Wukong is just relieved that his daughter came home safe and sound. Guanyin def did the divine version of a text message telling Wukong that Yuebei came to her island, but Wukong was still worried.

[ps: what do you think Wukong would use as an affectionate nickname for Yuebei in this au? also, at what point do you think her name was decided on.]

Wukong's nickname for Yuebei is "Egg" much like MK in the TMKATI au. Hard to get rid of the moniker when Wukojng had been using it for almost a thousand years. One of the rarer nicknames he had for her was "little moonlight" whenever he was particularly wistful.

Macaque calls the baby cuter things like "starlight" or "sunspot" cus she's "a little Sun" (pun).

The name "Yuebei" aka "Lunar Apogee" was only decided in the later months leading up to her birth. Wukong had wanted to wait until the Egg was born to decide. And ofc with his "moonlight" finally back at his side, Wukong's brain went towards moon-themed names...

[they absolutely would, even if looking at Yuebei would always be bittersweet long after it stopped actually hurting whenever she saw Wukong in her.]

Guanyin would 100% refer to herself as being Yuebei's "grandmother" in the scenario that Wukong had not survived/woken up. Little Yuebei would have grown up on Fragrant Mountain in the Southern Oceans as beloved as any creature under Guanyin's protection. Safe from teh eyes of Heaven. Wukong knows he would have made a good choice.

[Macaque def cries at every big relationship milestone between him and Yuebei (and him and Wukong, seeing how much Wukong has changed for the better makes him very hopeful they could have the life they promised each other, but seeing how much Wukong has also been hurting he is very grateful he has the oppurtunity to make things better. ultimately, he is very grateful he made the decision to stay and not squander the chance). but there's def a period of time in there where anytime Macaque and Wukong get in a fight (because healing and reconciliation isn't linear) it sets his relationship with Yuebei back a couple squares.]

Macaque and Wukong I think would have had a fight just prior to S4, likely over how MK is being trained as Wukong's successor - Wukong want's to be careful and soft on the kid, while Macaque was more the mindset of preparing MK for the worst-case scenarios. It caused the two to be on not-speaking terms, even though they were still both technically co-parenting the baby. Wukong had walked out on the most recent fight, and taken Yuebei to the old stone palace to decompress when MK found the memory scroll.

The subsetquent hours is Macaque fellign like sh*t for making Wukong hate him again + Yuebei crying when Mac raised his voice. He's convinced that he F-d Up Big, and that Wukong would never trust him again- oh hey a text from Mei.

Mei, texting: "Scroll thingy ate Monkey King!! *shocked emoji*" Mac, on an ancient nokia: "WHAT!? Where's the baby!?" Mei: "Being babysat rn. Don't worry, we're on the case!" *thumbs up* + "100 emoji" Mac: "oh thank buddha."

Macaque still goes to Water Curtain Cave to see whats up... only to find no Monkey Kids, and the smell of a familar lion...

[I always thought that Macaque having six sensitive ears and being a theater performer would make him a killer at vocals, and he can change his voice pretty much at will to something completely random, someone else's voice if he hears them, or mimic the sounds of animals and/or other non-living objects that produce sounds. so he would absolutely nail and accents and voices he needs to do to keep Yuebei appeased. he probably at some point mimics Wukong's voice in order to calm her down, because out of all her "good sounds" her baba's is the most "safe".]

Macaque canonically can nail voices and animal sounds! He pretended to be Mo meowing when he split the vans up.

I can just imagine him setting a fussy Yuebei down for sleep and trying to read her a story like;

Macaque, normal voice: "Bustopher Jone-"

Yuebei: *gives him a stank face* >:(

Macaque: "Oh ok, little miss high-standards."

Macaque: *clears throat*

Macaque, now in a goofy falsetto ala Ed Wynn: "Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones— In fact, he's remarkably fat. He doesn't haunt pubs—he has eight or nine clubs, For he's the St. James's Street Cat!"

Yuebei: *delighted giggling!* :D

Wukong: *secretly watching from the doorway, falling in love with his Warrior all over again*

[the brotherhood assumes Yuebei is also Macaque's kid like everyone else, and because of this Peng def is not above teasing the already fussy infant monkey. Yellowtusk is looking at his brothers either ignore or "torment" the infant of at least one if not two of their other sworn brothers. he realizes in that moment that the other two aren't who he thought they were, or at the very least they aren't anymore, but most importantly they aren't the type of people he wants to be involved with. the change of heart leads him to not feeling to bad when leaving his brothers to their fate when Yuebei has enough for the sake of his own safety.]

Yellowtusk is the only one of the Brotherhood trio who recognises that people have changed in the last few hundred years.

The Pilgrims are dead and gone, and their decendants are far different from their originals. Brother Bull is a family man who would do anything for his wife and son.

Brother Wukong is, from what Yellowtusk overheard, has become far wiser and more cautious. And not to say the acts of heroism he's heard attributed to Brother Macaque! (Defying and saving the world from the icy bone demon that resurrected him is no mere feat - it was the talk of the celestial and demon worlds for weeks). Not to mention the tiny dark-furred infant monkey that Azure holds, squirming in his grip...

And he also recognises that his own two companions have changed... but not for the better.

The selfless leadership once held by Azure Lion has become warped into a form of tyrany, one where their new Emperor holds their sworn brothers' infant hostage and openly fantasizes about taking Brother Wukong as his consort.

The curt bluntness he had appriciated in Peng's words have become needlessly harsh and tormenting. Even towards something as small and blameless as the infant they hold hostage.

Yellowtusk recognises that perhaps even he has changed. Being made to relive your mistakes throught the Scroll can do that. He realises that he should have said more to defend his shyer brothers, and wishes that he had the foresight to know that the Jade Emperor would have succeeded in their haphazard coup.

Yellowtusk is Wise because he recognises that the best option is to jump this sinking ship now while there's still time.

He goes to take the hostage infant away from Azure's grasp when the little girl suddenly grabs hard on one of Peng's flight feathers, the gold plating crumbling away in her grip...

Yellowtusk backs out of the throne room as the child of Sun Wukong destroys the two grown warriors like they were toys to be broken. He's thankfull that his calmer treatment of the infant only leaves him with a sore trunk from the little monkey tugging on it to guesture that she was hungry.

Sorry it took so long to answer! I've been very lazy over xmas :3

[poppitron360]

*slides you a 20 [whatever currency you're using] bill* now tell me about how you got to ship valzhang and what you like most about it, along with your headcanons and scenarios

...please<3

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU.

Okay sorry for taking long to reply I needed to schedule 3hrs out of my day to respond to this because I have a LOT of thoughts- Valzhang was my otp LONG before Valgrace. Be prepared for a lot of caps lock, keysmashes and exited ramblings.

We are phenomenally deprived of Valzhang fanart/fanfiction and that is a CRIME. They are so fun and cute to draw next to each other because they’re just so different- I love how Leo looks SO FUNKING TINY next to Frank.

But seriously, we are lacking. I searched up “Valzhang” on Pinterest earlier and there is NO JOKE only 5 pieces of fanart on there. We need to step up our game!

I’ve already posted this, but here is some Valzhang fanart I drew a while back-

So, how did I come to become the No.1 Valzhang Defender, you ask? Well…

Reading TLH was going slowly (bc of Spotify Audiobooks and their stupid listening hours feature), but I needed to shovel content into my brain like popcorn and so by the end of the first book I’d known all the spoilers and I knew that Frank and Leo would have a rivalry- and I was already SUPER attached to Leo, so I was prepared to HATE Frank.

So imagine my absolute frustration when I read SoN and found myself absolutely falling in love with this massive softie. I tried not to, I really did, but I couldn’t help it.

So, naturally, I was COMPLETELY on board with them becoming besties.

I was also all for their rivalry because it had so much potential for Leo angst- he’s already antagonising himself because of his powers, so someone else treating him like shit would only make him feel worse- thus I have more ways to cathart my own pain through fictional characters, so either way, it was a win-win for me.

But the blossoming bromance we got from it-

Oh my gods.

I already made a post about my feelings on Valzhang and how Caleo is just a shitty re-cycled version of them, but NO WAY was that all my thoughts, so here goes (and bear in mind I am only on HoH so this isn’t even their arc as a whole):

*Clears Throat*

*Shuffles note cards*

*Clears throat again*

*Deep Breath*

1. FRANK IS NO LONGER AFRAID OF FIRE BECAUSE OF LEO!!!!! I mean HOW CUTEE IS THAT!!!!!! He thought that there was nothing worse than fire, he was terrified of it, it was his biggest weakness. And then he met this tiny annoying hyperactive boy who is the MOST UNLIKELY OF FRIENDS- And he taught him to not be afraid. Like there is a moment where his trousers are literally ON FIRE and he doesn’t freak out because Leo taught him to not be afraid anymore. AND IT’S NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE POUCH!!!! Frank learns to trust Leo with his life- and there’s that moment in that scene where he’s faced with a choice to give him The Stick or not, and he chooses to trust Leo. He learns that fire (Leo) may seem scary and intimidating, but it can also be good and warm and wholesome and healing.

2. AND IT GOES BOTH WAYYYS!!!!! Leo was afraid of opening up to people, of letting down the mask and letting people see the real him. Sure, he did it a bit with Jason and Piper, but notice how in TLH, he only does it bc he didn’t have a choice. He used his fire powers to save them, and then Jason sort of just pieced together what happened the night Leo’s mom died. The first time he actually TELLS someone about it was when he tells Frank- someone who he thought was big and intimidating and so was putting his defences up with the jokes. To him, Frank looked just like someone who would’ve bullied him in the foster homes, he was the last person Leo thought he’d open up to. But he does, and Frank comforts him. They realise they’re not as different as they thought, and bonded over similar trauma and dead moms.

*Takes another deep breath*

3. LEO REALLY IS SO BRILLIANTLY TINY NEXT TO FRANK. IT. IS. SO. CUTE. Unlike Calypso and Leo, who were not planned out, Frank was WRITTEN to be Leo’s rival. They are exact opposites. The Yin and the Yang. The Sun and The Star (lol). They both juxtapose each other so beautifully- on the surface they contrast and clash but looking deeper they actually parallel each other but ultimately they compliment each other both in flaws and in strengths!!!! (*steadies myself on table* “Whoa, flashback to GCSE Eng Lit- using the same analysis structure. Are you proud of me, Miss Cox?”) But seriously, they initially are rivals because they look like complete opposites- tall/short, muscular/built like a twig, calm and careful/reckless and loud, animals/machines, Roman/Greek, Outwardly confident/Outwardly insecure, etc, etc.

4. But, as I said, looking deeper, they actually have a lot in common. Not just losing their moms, but Leo’s just as afraid of fire as Frank is. The only difference being that Frank’s afraid because of how it could hurt him, Leo’s afraid because of how it could hurt others, which directly contradicts Frank’s initial impression that Leo is self-centred and egotistic. Honey, that’s just an act. They’re also both very insecure, and both feel like the least useful member of the seven, and struggle to feel accepted. Because of how Leo felt threatened by Frank, he put his defences up and lashed out with his jokes, attacking Frank where he was most vulnerable, ridiculing him. They completely misjudged each other at first, and had an ANTI-meet-cute (Leo firing on New Rome) and it took a while for them to take down those walls that they’d built up, making it a lot more meaningful when they do open up.

And now we get onto specific hcs/scenarios I have, and I have a LOT of them:

1. Nico reveals to Leo that Frank’s mom is in Elysium because she gave her life in war to save others, whereas Leo’s mom is not, and instead is in Asphodel, despite all the little things she sacrificed in order to raise him, knowing he’d be important to the fate of the world. This causes a lot of resentment and jealously for Leo, as Frank has the one thing he desperately wants- a chance to see his mom again, make things right, get closure. Frank is annoyed by the fact that Leo is suddenly acting so cold and angry towards him, until Leo finally explains why.

2. Leo’s lactose-free mac n cheese is Frank’s favourite thing on earth. He has some sort of magic ingredient that makes the fake cheese not taste so plasticky, but he refuses to tell Frank what it is so Frank has to keep begging him to make it. Leo also makes it high in fibre and carbs, so it’s good workout food. Leo makes sure all his meals are Frank-Friendly.

3. I need to see them in battle together. Frank is incredibly anxious and overprotective of his tiny reckless bf/bff. Leo’s just a ball of freaking energy bouncing around going “ahahahbahjabkakdfkajkjaaa” and Frank’s like “Leo, no, those have teeth-“ He’s fine though.

4. As much as Frank acts like he hates Leo, he would risk his life for him in a heartbeat. I imagine Leo gets injured in battle and Frank drops whatever he’s doing and just fucking RUNS to help him. I can vividly picture him transforming into an elephant and scooping an unconscious Leo up in his trunk, and carrying him over to the medic tent. Yes, he’s currently being fired on by so many enemies, but nothing matters except getting Leo to safety.

5. Frank helps Leo with his machines. He can turn into small animals and get into tiny spaces, and he can become desert creatures, so the heat in the engine room doesn’t bother him.

6. Frank often finds Leo asleep on top of his blueprints, his welders-goggles askew, and he turns into a cat and curls up next to him to keep him company.

7. Also, when Leo skips meals because he’s spent too long working and he’s lost track of time, Frank makes sure to bring him food and water and his ADHD meds… and then he asks him to make him some mac n cheese.

8. Frank knows about PTSD from seeing his mom and her military friends, and so is often there to comfort Leo when he has flashbacks to the night his mom died, or one of the other miserable things that happened in his childhood.

9. All the things that used to freak Frank out about Leo (Leo making fun of his insecurities, Leo’s fire, the whole Sammy thing-) they are now 100% comfortable joking about together. Before, Frank would get upset when Leo ridiculed him, but now Leo does it as a sign of affection rather than as self-defence, and Frank can tell the difference. It is their love language.

10. When I write fanfiction, I often write important scenes when I think of them, and then write around them. Sometimes, it’s just one or two lines, for example I found this in my notes app the other day:

“I hate Hera,” Leo said, “She yeeted my dad off a cliff.”

“Yote,” Frank corrected.

And I had nothing written around it, nowhere to put it, it was just lying there. Anyway, that was important to share.

11. Also, I have this:

“I’m hugging you now,” Frank said, pulling Leo into an embrace and squeezing him tight.

“O- Okay, big guy,” Leo said, his voice muffled in Frank’s chest. His tiny body was practically swallowed in Frank’s bear-hug. He squirmed and fought and wriggled, but his weakling arms worked about as well as spaghetti against Frank’s brick-like build.

“No,” Frank insisted, “I will smother you with love and affection.”

“Get. Off.”

“No.”

“Let go of me, Zhang, or I’ll burn you.”

Frank let go. Leo rubbed his bruised arms.

12. I ship them platonically, but the joke-flirting is 1000% a thing they do. Hazel is the main pedaler of this, and often introduces them as “My boyfriend Frank, and Frank’s boyfriend Leo.”

13. Frank reluctantly admits to Leo that he likes Taylor Swift. Leo is obvs a swiftie, so absolutely goes MENTAL at this news, ofc ridicules him mercilessly for it, despite how hypocritical it makes him look (“This is not about me!”), but still insists they sit down with Hazel and make friendship bracelets (Frank no longer has the heart to tell him that he wasn’t actually a huge fan, just had a couple of her albums and liked her songs, unlike Leo who knows every word to every song, all the lore behind it, and Tay’s favourite colour, star sign, and shoe size.) AND I KNOW I HEADCANNON EVERYONE AS A SWIFTIE SHUT UP LET ME PROJECT.

14. Frank buys Leo fidget toys he think’s he’ll like. Sure, Leo can make his own, but it’s the sentiment that counts.

15. And they stay friends after the War. Frank frequently visits from New Rome University. They have long iris messages where they gossip and talk shit.

16. Leo becomes godfather to Frazel’s children. Absolutely SPOILS THEM ROTTEN (I also have a shit-tonne of hcs about Leo babysitting Percabeth’s kids, so lmk if you’d like to hear that.) Will visit the Zhang-Levesque household on the weekends, makes the kids gifts, teaches them how to safely use a fire extinguisher, helps them prank their dad.

17. I know Jason is meant to be Leo’s best friend BUT if Valgrace was cannon then that would leave room for Frank to be the BFF. NO BUT, YOUR HONOUR, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND- They started out hating each other, but then became INSEPARABLE once they took the time to get to know each other and realised they were actually really cool people. It’s not enough for them to be friends, they need to be BEST FRIENDS. They need to be their ONE AND ONLY. They need to knock on each other’s cabin doors on the Argo II at 3am and have long discussions about Their Feelings. They need to be 100% comfortable with each other and tell each other everything. Yes, Leo is annoying but he is Frank’s annoyance. Yes, Frank is a goof but he’s Leo’s goof. BEST. FRIENDS.

They’re just such an unlikely pairing, I love them sm.

Thank you for sticking with me, I will not apologise for my ramblings, you were warned, but if you did make it to the end, here, have a sweet 🍬 You are clearly just as dedicated a Valzhang stan as I am (It is currently 00:54am where I live)

I will probably have a lot more Thoughts and Feelings coming your way soon, so don’t think for a second that I’ve got it all out of my system. I still haven’t finished the series yet, and I know that as soon as I post this I’ll think of something else that I should’ve added, but I hope this was enough for now.

(Also, I’m British, so I’d use a £20 (“twenty pound”) Note, in case you were curious.)

Again, thank you so much annon for the Ask- as you can see, I LOVE VALZHANG.

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

Slowly

Warning: FINAL ARC SPOILERS!! Fem! reader, reader is called mom, Mentions of Character death, I changed the ending becuase i hate it :) People are alive some are not, injuries, talk of injury.

It was hard after the final battle, for the whole family, adjusting to new injuries, and missing limbs. It was like time had frozen for your ever-growing household. You stayed at the butterfly estate, helping the girls care for the injured and sick, wrapping and rewrapping wounds. You didn’t have much medical expertise but from what you read and the instructions Aoi had given you, you managed just fine. It was easier since you had been tasked specifically to 2 of the remaining hashira and Genya. You knew Aoi had done it as a favor, for you and herself. You could handle them easier, and now that the surgeries were over aftercare was much easier. The Kakushi and Aoi still checked in and assisted when you needed, thankfully.

“Does that feel uncomfortable at all?” You adjusted the pillow under Gyomei's leg, elevating his freshly wrapped leg. “I’m okay dear, do not fret” You were easing him back into bed after a short walk. He was unsteady on the crutches, still gaining his strength from being bedridden for so long, but his injuries were severe and his body needed time. “How are the boys?” You smiled, knowing how far he had come from when you had first met him, adamant about never having children or even accepting a tsugoku, knowing what could happen. He couldn’t handle losing someone so small and so young dying under his care, every death of his friends and of the slayers he knew, it hurt. But when you met Genya you couldn’t turn him away and once Muichiro became more of a prominent figure in your house his heart had grown wider, slowly the walls that stopped him from accepting had crumbled and the boys took residence in his heart. “Muichiro is alright, his pain tolerance is very high, and he doesn’t complain much, but losing his hands has been a process. However much like your leg, there may be a way to help him. Yushiro has mentioned a treatment that Lady Tamayo was developing for regenerating limbs, she knew after the battle would be rough. It's still in development though, but in the meantime, we can look into prosthetics if you are interested? Muichiro is going for it.” He didn’t respond, just simply rubbed the spot where the bandages that covered his leg ended, trying to soothe the aches that the medications didn’t fully stop. “what about Genya?” “He has good days and bad days. His body is reacting well to blood transfusion. Nezukos blood has only positively affected him. Because he was ingesting demon flesh he regenerated most of himself, but it didn’t work fully because of the medication lady Tamayo had been giving him to help him stay human and stop the progression of becoming a demon. his right arm couldn’t be saved. He also lost vision in his right eye and he is learning how to walk again, his scars are healing well though. There will be a lot of trials with his body. Last I saw though he was with Sanemi in the back gardens.” “ah, I see” He looked contemplative, the fresh scars that crossed his face wrinkled as he organized his thoughts. “Gyomei” At the use of his full name he looked over, you had always used a nickname or a pet name unless it was serious. He wrapped one of your hands in his own, showing you had his full attention. “I’ve been thinking a lot. I know you didn’t want children. But, now that there are no more demons and we don’t have to worry as much about anything happening. Maybe, I was hoping you would consider if it was okay with him, adopting Muichiro, officially?” You took a pause, watching his features for any sign of displeasure or unhappiness, anything that said no. “Have you spoken to him about this?” You shook your head. “No, I wanted to speak to you. I was hoping for Genya and Muichiro but I have a feeling he will be moving into Sanemi’s home and staying with him. They are family after all. But either way. We have room for both, even an extra addition if you wanted.” You were hopeful, he had grown to love them both and you knew he did. Maybe not as much as you but in his own way, he loved the boys. “An extra addition? Like, a baby?” Your face was flaming, it was moments like this that made you glad your husband had no sight because you were probably as red as a tomato. You didn’t want to openly admit you have thought of it, seeing Gyomei hold your own little bundle of love, take naps with a baby on his chest, sleeping the day away. It was an extensive thought. Even with Genya and Muichiro, they would make excellent brothers, always so attentive and caring. “If you would like to I would very much enjoy having one of our own. You are an excellent father figure to the boys and an excellent caretaker. But, not now because we have a lot of adjusting to do. I had a few kakushi ask about building ramps for our house. I ordered the supplies they would need and they are starting today. So when you come home and even Genya, you can get around easily in a wheelchair when you are tired.” The change of subject was carefully planned, but you knew he wouldn’t let it go so easily. “I think we should speak to Shinazugawa about Genya and then approach them both. If you still wish to have a child of our own a few years from now. I would like that. You are a wonderful mother already and I already know our child will be very lucky to have you.” His words were watery, tears slipping down his face as he pulled you into the bed with him, wrapping you in his embrace. “Mei! You are injured you shouldn’t be swinging me around right now!” you scolded, though the words held no malice, your weight was never a problem for him, it wouldn’t change just because he was healing.

“Hi boys, how are you feeling?” Genya was sitting on Muichiro's bed, helping the smaller boy with what you assumed was a letter.

“Hey, Mom! Look! Genya is really good at drawing! Even with his left hand!” The bandages that covered Muichiro's forearms were smeared in ink. And the papers with blotches you assumed were his ‘paintings’ You looked over the papers scattered over the bed after placing down the tray of gauze, antiseptics along with other various items needed for their wounds and scars. Muichiro’s hair was pulled out of his face, braided down his back so it wouldn’t get in the way of his bandages and wounds.  Genya had his hair tied off and out of his face, a purple butterfly clip holding it in place. You shook your head as you adjusted it, knowing that Kanae probably let him borrow one of her most treasured possessions, you would have to thank her for her kindness later. “You did beautiful! Is that Rice cake? She looks so cute!” There was a soft smile on Genya’s face at the thought of the black and white cat that he found one night, bringing it home with him from a mission. Gyomei was ecstatic to have another furry friend be brought home. “Yeah, how is she?” You hummed in thought, trying to remember what was in the letter from your sister who had offered to watch the house while you stayed at the butterfly estate. “She’s good, I guess she keeps going in your room looking for you. But she’s being cared for. They started on the renovations, adding ramps to and from the house, into the gardens.” Both boys were nodding along as you spoke. “Are you done painting so I can change you out of those disgusting bandages?” You looked at Muichiro who was analyzing the ink patterns covering the gauze. “It's not that bad, right? Its art. Uzui would call it flashy” “And I would call it an infection waiting to happen. You haven’t fully healed yet please don’t get an infection when you have probably less than a month before your skin finally finished healing.” Genya was collecting the paper, stacking it so it could be moved and you could sit down and change Muichiros bandages.

The boys talked as you changed their bandages and helped Muichiro into lighter clothes, the days were getting warmer and you didn’t need him dying from heat stroke. “So, mom” Genya started “Did you talk to him? About our question?” You were surprised it took them this long to bring it up, you had already changed Muichiros bandages and were finishing up rubbing scar cream over Genya’s freshly healed facial scars. “Yes and no. I didn’t tell him you two asked. I asked him if he would consider officially adopting you two. He wants to talk to Sanemi before approaching either of you. We love you both but Sanemi is your blood family Genya and you have worked so hard to try and reconnect we wouldn’t want to tear you away from that. There is no rush you two. Let’s get everyone healed and back home before we make big moves, alright?” You finalized the talk with a kiss on each of their foreheads before returning to your husband.

The former sound hashira and his wives were crowding the room as you returned. “Ah, the Uzui family. Hello, how are you?” You greeted, carefully shutting the shoji doors behind you. “Y/N! Oh, I’m so glad to see you! Your house is all done! We added ramps all over your home, and we even helped clean up. Your sister is a wonderful woman, I can’t believe you never mentioned your family!” Suma was bouncing on her heels as she spoke a mile a minute. Relaying her entire day of helping with the maintenance to update your house for wheelchairs. “oh, and even better! We brought presents for the boys! Since were sure they were gonna return home we bought them cute little outfits, kind of western but they will look so handsome! And look, I brought it because I know you’ve been pinning his hair back, but look at this clip I found for Muichiro? Isn’t it beautiful, I thought, oh he would look so cute in this! With his outfit! How young can he get married? He will be the talk of the town.” She was still rambling, pushing a large hair clip in your hands as she spoke. It was a beautiful Cyan, with silver embellishments and a unique leaf design etched into it. It looked expensive and high-class. This couldn’t have been a cheap gift. “Thank you, Suma, all of you. I’ve sure he will love it. I’m not sure about marriage but I will keep it in mind for a future talk” That talk wouldn’t happen anytime soon as you placed the clip on a table that held various items brought from your home for Gyomei. “How are you feeling dear? Pain?” “I am at ease” he grunted, patting a smoothed-over spot on the bed next to him. “Gyomei and I were discussing the funerals. They plan on finishing the burials in a few days with the hashira. Many of the kakushi were wondering if the two of you would be in attendance, along with Tokito” Tengen looked at you from his seat next to the bed. Hinatsuru and Makio were sitting next to him, silent as they waited for an answer. “I will be there” gyomei finalized. “I will talk to Mui about it. His recovery has been good so I don’t imagine he wouldn’t go. Have you spoken to Sanemi about this? Has he said anything?” Although he was severely injured, his recovery seemed rather fast. He slept for a month straight but that seemed to be when he did all of his healing, only waking up with weakness and some sore spots. It was a miracle you thought because he looked rough for a while. You had switched off watching him with Aoi and the three little ones. “We spoke to him and Tomioka, they both will be in attendance. You and Muichiro were the last two we had to confirm. We were going to visit him but I figured since you two are his unofficial parents I figured I would just ask you.” Tengen finished. You and Gyomei both nodded. “How are you all doing now, after everything is over? How are you feeling?” Hinatsuru changed directions addressing you both. “Healing well. My nurse seems to be giving me special treatment I believe. She is good at her job!” Gyomei chuckled, leaning into you. “A joke Gyomei? You must be feeling better today. It’s a slow process but it's going well. The boys are healing and Sanemi is fully healed. So we're getting by, slowly but surely.” You smiled at the Uzui’s, they were worriers, even if they didn’t seem like it they stopped by quite often to make sure everyone was okay. Hinatsuru often sent letters and gifts from their garden. “That is so wonderful to hear. Most everyone seems to be almost if not fully healed. After everyone is healed I would love if all of us to spend a week or so together. To reconnect after such a hard battle. We have been through a lot as a team and I think it’s time to properly bond as a family. We have been the ones to end it. We shall celebrate and reminisce about our departed friends and family!” Tengen announced, all three of the girls nodded with him, bright smiles on their faces at the announcement. “That is lovely” Gyomei noted. “If you would like, we can have everyone at our home! We have plenty of room! We can have Muichiro and Genya stay in our room while everyone stays over. It will help me keep an eye on everyone! Easier to change bandages if everyone is already there!” There was collective laughter at your last statement. “Of course just name a date and we will be there” The Uzui’s stayed until it was rather dark out, talking throughout the dinner you brought them and even as you changed the bandage wrapped around Gyomei’s calf. They didn’t leave until Suma fell asleep on your lap and you were close behind, struggling to keep your eyes open after a long day.

[captjameshookthoughts]

Since I have now taken some time to have some reasonable thoughts, here’s another post about the newest movie. Don’t expect this to be too cohesive, after all, I do remain a neurodivergent nightmare.

Anyway.

The more I think on it (and that has been A LOT today) the more I get the feeling that this might have originally been pitched as a Captain Hook focused feature rather than a Peter Pan remake.

seriously.

Jude law is good, but is he really ‘makes every other character feel like a side character’ good? Because that’s kind of how I felt watching it all. captain Hook and his arc DOMINATED the narrative, his presence was felt even in scenes he wasn’t in, and I don’t think that’s just my devotion to the sad pirate man speaking. He was also the only character that got any sort of real exploration into who he is as a person, every other character we see is just presented as a certain way and we’re expected to take it as is.

His character arc is front and centre whilst everyone else, including the titular characters are just kind of there to further push his narrative onwards. And that just really pings off the part of me that was involved in the film and TV industry. Like it just feels like something that was pitched as a Hook story, was probably developed at least somewhat to go in that direction and then was told to adapt that work into a Peter Pan retelling to fit what Disney was doing with the brand.

Of course I can’t say for certain cos I wasn’t in the board rooms, but it certainly piques my pattern recognition.

I’ve not been shy about how much I hate the costume, I still do. That hat and those epaulettes? Horrible, fortunately easy to ignore. Unfortunately will never compare to the 2003 movie costume.

which leads me into that comparison.

I will always love Jason Isaacs’ Hook, always.I always adored the character, but it was his portrayal that inspired me to start developing and writing my own Captain Hook. However... IDK Jude Law’s performance feels closer to what *my* Hook has become. I think that’s partly owing to him being that bit visually older, but there is more. Both 2003 and 2023 versions have a Hook that is an absolute wreck with melancholy and loneliness. But 2003′s melancholy is guided by anger and a deep need for revenge, where 2023′s is guided by like insecurity, uncertainty, and loss. All those traits are present in both, but they are separated by what’s at the centre of their sadness.

I can’t really compare backstory, because 2003 doesn’t really have one. Persoanlly, I’ve always liked the idea that James was just a well educated guy who fell into piracy and then into Neverland. I’m just a fan of having normal people being put into extraordinary circumstances and the ways they adapt to that. I have no string feeling either way to Hook having been the first lost boy, I know a lot of people love it and will be delighted to see that explored. I’ve read a few short stories about it, and honestly this movie handles it better than the published stories (IMO)

When it comes to my own Hook, I write him with a great attachment to his name. He, too, feels there’s a separation between ‘James’ and ‘Captain Hook’ but there’s some level of yearning to return to being James, the man he was. Seeing in the movie that visceral and opposite reaction was like WOW, I hadn’t ever considered that angle, but probably because I’ve never felt strongly about the first lost boy angle. But the pain there in that shot! Man’s own name is a wound that never healed and hearing it again, a knife cutting through it once more.

Final comparison Hook’s ‘death’ I really liked the way this movie handled it. It wasn’t played off as a joke, he was treated with the reverance and respect that he ought to have...unlike just about every other version. Now I hate to see him die as much as anyone. HOWEVER, IDK it felt a bit cheap for him to survive and then that smile at the end. It’s just like, the moments after his ‘death’ were so poignant and for that feeling to be for no reason actually. It emotional whiplashed me and not in a good way. I actually think the movie would have benefitted from the finality of death hanging over it, since one of the repeated messages throughout the narrative was the inherent nature of change and endings of phases in life...but perhaps that would be a tad too dark for Disney and their current branding.

anyways. those have been some thoughts. I’m sure I’ll have more at some point.

[pegasusknightsonly]

now that im at endgame i want to quickly run through my team and what i learned about awakening luna playing it again after seven or so years

what i learned:

i used WAY too many units. nice as it was to have a full second gen trip the late game it was not really feasible without a lot of grinding

its generally better to play aggressive than defensive on maps, even if it means you're not using pair up so you have better action economy. chapter 4 and chapter 9 were really tough until i went all out with the aggression.

myrmidon might actually be good in Luna bc avo+10 becomes really really good when it's cancelling out a whole bunch of hit+10s. this does not fix lon'qu's bulk issues.

map skirmishes blocking useful shops are the fucking devil and not something you can do anything about other than wait until you hit endgame. really annoying feature

DLC doesn't scale to game difficulty!! that's fun

weapon forging is my new best friend

van/ven is still ABSOLUTELY broken and Owain hard carried my team through several maps

and my thoughts on my team!!

Robin - i actually think i fucked up by second sealing at twenty instead of promoting? armsthrift is nice and i wanted it for Morgan's inheritance but robin fell off really really hard by the midgame and i never got him back so it would have been nice to have rally spectrum available when that happened. ultimately that was ok for me bc unlike the luna guides will tell you i was not solely relying on robin for the front lines but oof he fell off harder than Fred

Chrom - Chrom is Chrom. not much to say there. he didn't get to see a lot of combat early which kind of worked out in my favour bc it meant he was still in lord in chapter 12 and gave Sumia some HUGE effective dual strikes with his rapier. it might actually be worth delaying his first class change to get that?? as usual i went archer -> bow knight and he was great in both. rally skill is actually really good to have on a non-combat unit in later maps where everything has so much speed and avo, it definitely made the difference for Nah a couple of times

Sumia - MVP. oh my god she was so good. i had to grind Olivia anyway so i ran her through great knight and although i don't want her to see any enemy phase combat at this point it has been really helpful to have her fly in, kill something annoying with a luna proc and fly out again to physic or rescue. rally speed has been really helpful as well! i had to do a little hand holding with her in chapter two but early investment pays off so well and i can't think of another unit who can transition from frontliner to support as well as she can. love her.

Fred - when people say awakening luna is unplayable without using Fred are they like. are they just bad at the game? don't get me wrong he was fine but imo the Fred carry/Robin carry meta really only is true until chapter 3 which is... not long, and definitely not long enough for Fred to have the kind of reverence he has in Luna meta. idk. he was fine! i had to finagle a bit to get him and Olivia married which was a pain but then it was nice being able to give Olivia extra move via pairup in the late game.

Olivia - i normally bench her after getting the kids when i play hard bc galeforce is just better than dancing and she becomes a liability with the ambush reinforcements so it was kind of novel to still be deploying her in the valm arc, even though that was mostly just to dance Sumia so i had two actions worth of healing. i had to do a LOT of grinding with DLC to get her galeforce for inheritance which was pretty painful and her stats were never that good. dance utility for my healer has been pretty nice!

Sully - i probably shouldn't have used her and shouldn't have given her the resources that normally go to wyvern Panne but i LIKE her and she did really really well in chapter 12 after she promoted and got lance access back. Gaius s support is solid but those first few levels before reclassing were really difficult because her bases are just so low. if awakening luna slightly bumped up everyone's bases it would be a joy to play.

Panne - it says a lot about how good wyvern Panne is that i brought her back in to the team way too late and she not only kept up but then outperformed Sully who'd had so much more investment. brokenly good unit and by the time i got Yarne she had late game worthy stats. the lack of galeforce kind of hurts as does her weapon ranks - she was stuck using bronze axes for so, so long - but yeah. good unit. believe the hype.

Nowi - i have really mixed feelings about Nowi's performance because it was just. so painful. her bases do not get bumped enough and at the start everything was doubling her and her awful 18HP. speed issues continued for a long long time but she eventually kind of pulled it together. a bit. not sure I'll do this again

Vaike and Lon'qu - mostly they were used to produce Nah and Yarne respectively but they were ok!! really solid backpacks. Vaike's stats were toilet tier for a long long time but he got there eventually. lon'qu loved dual striking for panne so much it got her in trouble a couple of times. it's good that they can support each other as well!

Gregor and Miriel - i put so much into Miriel lmao i love her. woteva. she was fine, bulk and survivability issues but that's pretty standard for Miriel. i also had trouble with her critting things i did not want critted. Gregor got so little investment i actually felt kind of bad for him. i promoted him after like... one or two levels worth of dual striking experience but i probably should've done it sooner

Lissa and Libra - early promotion to get Lissa tomefaire (mostly from rescue staff abuse) was worth it! really solid performance from both of them and Lissa had decent offenses on her galeforce grind. i wish I'd used Libra as a frontliner more but ultimately Lissa needed more exp than him and that's how it worked out, but it felt like a missed opportunity bc Libra in luna is really, really good.

Sumia!Lucina - i was worried about her stats on recruitment but she's been really really good and had some fantastic survivability thanks to her aether procs. great unit, does everything she needs to. i ran her through great lord for rfk + rapier access and that worked pretty well! her final class was between bow knight and paladin but surprisingly paladin has better overall stats and she didn't desperately want anything from bow knight. i don't think i would want to do anything dramatically different with her

Chrom!Cynthia - BEAST. BEAST. BEAST. ALL OVER THE SHOP

Libra!Owain - my only van/ven build and boy did he do good work with it. kind of ruined a couple of maps when the computer abandoned all reason and prioritised attacking him bc he was a staff unit which was a pain but ultimately pretty recoverable. van/ven is good! van/ven owain is good!!

Gaius!Kjelle - sadly she became mostly just a pair up bot for Owain. i never quite got her offences up to scratch to get her galeforce which was a real shame. Owain appreciated the stats and a partner with flight though

Frederick!Inigo - ugh. my only real disappointment in this run. speed!! speed!!! where is his fucking speed!!!! giving him galeforce was nice and all but he can't use it very well if he can't fucking double!!!! Inigo!!!! what's going on there!!!!!! i think Fred passed down dual guard+ which is fine but ultimately inigo would've been better with either luna (the lack of offensive procs really started to hurt him) or deliverer for extra movement for Cynthia. kind of pain to level and promote. he relied on his s support with Cynthia a LOT.

Vaike!Nah - might have been a little too ambitious to want to run her through merc and hero before bringing her back to manakete but those Vaike offenses ended up really paying off. very very slow to start cooking but so good once she got going. sightly too tanky? enemies tended to avoid her on EP which wasn't helpful. her sol proc rates also need some work but overall a really solid unit and one i might bring back to hard mode or use in luna again.

Lon'qu!Yarne - I'm glad i made the decision to bring Panne back to avoid Lon'qu/Lissa. listen. i have not asked Yarne to do too much but he has done it so well and has probably contributed the most in battles for the least exp. bless him! bless his name!!! i wish Panne gave him a better class set. he could have been everything.... that said, even if my original plan of barbarian -> beserker -> griffon didn't work out due to lack of EXP he still did really well and sat in an unpromoted class until chapter 25 when i took pity on him and went to a DLC map. really solid guy.

Gregor!Laurent - i had such plans for a strong and bulky nostank with armsthrift and then it just... never happened. im sorry Laurent. i don't think i ever gave Gregor enough levels to make that work. he did ok promoting to dark knight instead of sorc to be Morgan's pair up bot but i kind of wish I'd managed to get him going. i have two forged Nosferatu in my convoy that i now can't use. whoops

Lucina! Morgan - less than 25 str or mag as a level 10 dark flier was not it. great crits, great aether procs but what the hell happened to her offensive stats. bizarre. probably not unfixable but she's going to close out the game as a rally spectrum bot. rip

Cynthia got the most MVP awards but Owain was just so, so good and Lucina did everything i needed her to. Sumia!!! she's so good!!!!! anyway i had a lot of fun with this run once i found my feet with it and i... honestly will probably finish it and immediately start another one lmao. it was fun!!!!

[polar534]

Hockey AU: Parenting Pt. 1

Well after a week of posting I finally finished the first part in the next arc that we'll see of Hockey AU. This one is big. I don't think I'll need to explain much further so instead enjoy. (Just a reminder that not all of the parts for this arc are done so it may be a week or two between updates or longer).

***

Amity was breathing heavily as she collided into the group pile with her teammates. Another game won. Cheers rang out through the stadium, almost deafening the thundering of her heartbeat in her chest.

"FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 9 YEARS, THE OTTERS ARE IN THE SEMI-FINALS!"

Another cheer erupted from inside the pile. They had worked so hard for this. Emotions were high and Amity let the energy buzz through her. This was it! Just 2 more games and they could be in the finals. They could be champs!

Someone collided into her going top speed and soon the entire team had her swept up in a group hug. Lotke was behind her in an instant, hoisting their star player on their towering shoulders as the team skated around their victory lap. From the vantage, Amity had only eyes for one person. Talking with the coach in the players box, their eyes met across the rink and the roar of the crowd and her teammates quieted instantly.

Luz smiled back at her, a huge grin that threatened to split her face in two. Her eyes were sparkling with pride and love.

She slipped away from the small huddle of officials. Her eyes widening, Amity tugged on Lokte's jersey, pointing frantically at Luz and unable to speak over the roar of the stadium. Thankfully, they understood immediately. Gathering the team together, the Otter's skated towards the players box as one. Lokte let Amity slip off of their shoulder and the witch caught her girlfriend just as Luz hit the ice. Within the huddle of their teammates they were in a bubble. No noise, no judgement, just them. Luz flung her arms over Amity's shoulders and kissed her roughly on her cheek, eliciting a giggle out of the both of them. A call rang out for the teams to line up and shake hands and the world tunred into a blur of events and emotions, the high of their victory only wearing off in the locker rooms after.

***

"Don't forget everyone pizza after the game at Mangia's tonight! Oh, and don't forget to let your parents know about Celebration Night."

Amity looked up from taking her skates off. Lokte was waving at a couple of their teammates as they made their way out of the locker room, gear in hand.

"What's Celebration Night?" Luz asked the question that was at the forefront of Amity's mind.

Lokte's eyes widened as they turned towards the only other two people in the little locker alcove they had positioned in to change.

"Oh, it's a big event night for all the teams that made it to the Semi-Finals. There's one for each of the first games, kinda like a way to recognize the team members and their accomplishments. I just wanted to remind everyone so they don't forget to tell their parents or anyone else they want to stand up with them." Lokte explained as they bent down to take off their skates.

"Oh..." Luz said quietly.

Snap

The string of her skate ripped as Amity went to yank it undone. Her hands were shaking.

A pair of footsteps walked by her as she slowly unraveled the broken string. Amity looked up as they seemed to stop in front of her. Mae, the normally timid and shy goalie smiled down at her.

"Hey… Amity. I just wanted to thank you. You've done so much for this team. I think you've pretty much helped every single person be better. You and Luz of course."

Amity glanced back up to where Luz was and saw her straighten with pride. Smiling, Amity turned back to Mae.

"Oh… it's nothing, really. I'm just really glad to be a part of a team. You all mean a lot to the both of us." Amity admitted shyly, unable to meet the goalie's eyes. She picked up her stick and stood up, ready to start packing her bag.

Mae stepped back to allow her some space and her smile grew.

"I'm really looking forward to meeting your parents on Celebration Night. They really must be something to raise someone as incredible as you." Mae said kindly before turning to rush out of the locker room after her friends.

Amity's stick fell to the ground as she stood there frozen. The sound of it clattering echoed in the now nearly empty locker room. The words the goalie spoke bounced around in her head in a haunting echo.

'They really must be something.'

There was a beat of silence before Amity winced with the sharp sound of a fist banging against a locker.

"Luz? Is everything ok?!" She heard Lokte exclaim behind her.

Slowly, Amity leaned down and picked up the stick she had dropped. Her hands found the smooth grooves her gloves had worn into it and her fingers trailed the chipped parts where the puck had bounced off it at just the right angle. She kept herself steady with the familiarity of it, taking a deep breath before turning around to face her girlfriend and teammate.

Luz had her fist pressed firmly into a locker and Lokte was caught between them both, looking worriedly from one girl to the next. As soon as Amity turned around, Luz's fist dropped and her anger melted into worry.

"Amity?"

"I uh… I don't think I'm going to be able to go to pizza with the team tonight Lokte… I'm sorry." Amity spoke after a pause, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"Luz?" She asked quietly, the walls she had been trying to keep up rapidly failing.

Luz immediately darted to the witch's side, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. The warmth was just enough to steady her.

"Right here." Luz said softly, her head leaning into Amity's. The witch closed her eyes and leaned right back into Luz, the girl being the one thing managing to keep her standing. To keep her together.

"Let's go home…"

***

"Are you sure your up for this?" Luz asked Amity gently as they hung back outside of the cabin.

Amity shot her a weak smile, one that only barely made it to her eyes.

"It's fine. Everyone is looking forward to it. Plus we can't just tell everyone to go home, it's a long walk out of the castle after all."

"Of course you did. Come on, or your mom's going to get worried."

"Not anymore it's not! I convinced Eda to add slides from some of the upper floors." Luz grinned mischievously. "Me and King have had the honor of being their test-runners."

Amity laughed, rolling her eyes she grabbed ahold of Luz's arm and hooked it through her own.

Walking through the doorway they had yet to fix up, Camila turned and relief showed in her eyes. In front of her was the patched portal door, held open by the one and only Edalyn Clawthorne, Co-Empress of the Isles.

"There you two slackers are, will you please help me convince Camila, again, that it's ok to have a little fun for once in her life?!" The wild witch groaned as she hung halfway between worlds.

Camila rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I said and you know it. Girls are you sure everything is alright? You were both awfully quiet after your game, if you need to me to stay-"

"Go." Amity said simply, cutting her off with a warm laugh. "We'll be fine. And we both know Eda won't be if she gets too many rounds deep with Perry and you aren't there to keep the peace."

Luz snickered as Eda's eyes widened. The older witch gasped in insult and the hand holding the door retracted to her chest. The portal closed as she stood there looking wounded. In a blinding flash of light and magic the door disappeared into nothingness.

Left in the dark, unlit, cabin the small family all looked at each other. Luz was the first to laugh, followed by her mother and her girlfriend. Reaching into her shirt she pulled out the key that she kept around her neck and clicked the eye-shaped button twice. In an instant the door was back. Standing solely on it's own, the yellow eye in the center glowing softly. Camila firmly grasped the handle and flung it open only to be greeted with a rush of kids flying through it.

"Friends!" Luz cheered as Willow and Gus tackled both her and Amity in a tight hug.

"We heard about the win tonight, congrats! That's incredible!" Willow beamed at Amity who merely nodded in return, a small smile showing on her face.

Gus pulled Luz aside and stepped away from their friends for a moment.

"We need to start planning signs and banners stat. We are cheer con 4 and this is no longer a drill. We are in the red zone Luz. The red zone." He uttered quietly to the human who grew immediately serious.

"Wow. I never thought we'd reach that stage. What do we do? What can we do?!" She whispered back, completely panicked as she realized they were not prepared in the slightest to bring their A game of support.

"I suggest perhaps taking one of those human spell casters on the wall of rink to aid in our presentation."

Luz straightened immediately, a mischievous and wonderful twinkle in her eye.

The flamethrowers sounded like an excellent idea. She went to say as much to Gus before she felt her hoodie being pulled back. She lost her balance and fell, right into Amity's waiting arms. The witch was looking down at her disapprovingly.

"Not so fast Chaos. We won't need any big banners or flags and we most certainly aren't going to steal any flamethrowers."

"We weren't going to steal them... just...borrow them." Gus grumbled unhappily as he crossed his arms and joined Luz in pouting.

Camila sighed, crossing her arms in front of the doorway.

"I heard the words stealing and flamethrower. Am I going to have stay here tonight to watch you kids?" Camila asked plainly, looking more and more tired by the second.

Before anyone could respond, a pale hand flew through the portal attached at the bone by a string of rope.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of parents night that easily Cam." Eda's voice chuckled as the line pulled tight and Camila was dragged through too suddenly to protest.

The door closed seconds after Luz's mother disappeared and all 4 kids were left in the silence and dark.

Luz clapped her hands together, jolting everyone to attention. A smile spread across her face.

"So... I'm thinking maybe a heist movie tonight. Anyone else?"

***

"What happened at the rink today Luz?"

Luz melted onto the counter as she deflated. There was a part of her body that still tensed in anger but as the night went on, all she found she could do was worry. By the time Willow dragged her into the kitchen to 'restock' Luz had been wound so tightly in concern that her body now physically ached.

Amity was an expert at hiding her emotions, but not from her friends. Not from her girlfriend. The tight grip Amity kept on the pillow she clutched in her arms. The way Luz could feel the witch's body winding up and tensing as each new thought entered her mind, even during times of lull in the movie. Amity was even quieter then normal, unable to find the heart to point out the obvious plot holes in the various cheesy movies they watched.

Luz knew her girlfriend was not normally one to remain silent when she could see right through the twist of the movie.

Luz lifted her head and blinked. The light in the kitchen was bright and warm compared to the dark nest of blankets and pillows the kids had set up. Although dim, it helped Luz relax a little more. In the silence left behind by the question, Willow unwrapped the package for the next round of popcorn before she set the timer. The human knew Willow would wait all night if she had too.

"There's apparently this thing called Celebration Night. It's a way for the team and their family to celebrate their accomplishments before the finals." Luz sighed as she finally explained.

Willow's mouth thinned into a straight line.

It wasn't a question.

"I… I already was pretty tense and I know Amity was too. It came out of nowhere but how were we supposed to know, you know?! Lokte already kinda knows our weird little family situation as it is so they didn't think to mention it."

"They don't know is what you're saying." Willow explained curtly, her mouth twisting into a frown. "Why Amity is living with you."

"Which is fine. That's something only Amity can share and only when she wants to, IF she wants to. But that also means that nobody else on the team knows either."

Willow stared at her friend as Luz propped herself up onto her elbows, her hands clenching into tight fists.

They must really be something to raise someone like you.

Luz felt sick. Odalia and Alador Blight had never done anything for Amity. They weren't the reason she became so incredible. That was the furthest thing from the truth. They were despicable. Awful. Manipulative, selfish…

Abusive.

Luz slammed her fist onto the counter.

"It's just that… ugh!" Luz groaned as her fist hit the counter once again. "Why can't they just leave her alone?! Why do they have to exist, out there… still making her suffer?" The defeat in Luz's voice choked her anger into what was merely a whisper.

"Hey. Here I thought parental angst was supposed to be my thing." Amity's voice drifted softly through the room following Luz's outburst.

Immediately both girls turned to greet Amity, lounging in the door way. Her amber eyes were tired and there was a small smile showing on her face. Luz straightened.

"Amity-" Luz started before her girlfriend gently waved her hand to interrupt her.

"It's ok Luz. I think…"

Taking a deep breath, Amity bit her lip. Her breath rattled in her chest as she went to speak next, her eyes locking onto a specific spot on the ground in front of her.

"I think I want to reach out to them."

***

Pssssst. Like this? Actually gave it one of those read-a-roos? Maybe you have questions like, Polar, my friend, my amigo, my internet stranger, the fuck is a Hockey AU? Well dear reader I don't know either! But here is a Master Post of all things I've figured out so far.

[isolatedbubble]

Romance in MXTX, Priest, and SHL

MXTX: Flower, Wine and Dreamworld

The romance in MXTX's works is like flower that grows in ice and snow; colorful, bright and hopelessly romantic, blossoms in misery and hardships.

It features a distinct "us against the world" mindset, depicting love as the only constant in the world. It's an eternal "dreamworld" detached from worldly matters, the perfect escapism as well as a source of strengths in the face of cruel reality.

Both MDZS and TGCF are a critique of mob mentality.

The contrast between CQL and MDZS is very interesting. While the former ends with LWJ taking charge, and therefore changing the world for the better, the novel ends with wangxian isolating themselves from grand politics and focusing more on helping individuals as recluse. It has an essentially pessimistic attitude towards the morality & intelligence of the collective. 

TGCF takes a slightly more optimistic approach, featuring the crowd being courageous under the right circumstances. However, both works share a similar undertone: putting one’s absolute faith in the collective is dangerous, whereas unconditional trust and devotion can be only found in one-to-one connection

MXTX herself compares MDZS and TGCF to 花间一壶酒 (A cup of wine among flowers), MDZS being the wine and TGCF being flower. She also compares MDZS to 风雪夜归人, the person returning home from snow and wind, and TGCF to 红泥小火炉, a small red furnace.

Priest: Breezing Wind and Burning Iron

The romance in priest's works is more complicated. It's the most gentle in its normal state, when it is rational and collected, in which case it's like the breezing wind, soothing, sweet and light-hearted. It gives the individuals more incentive to achieve their individual and/or societal vision, as well as more reason to value their own lives & well-being.

In Faraway Wanderers, the most distinct feature of WenZhou relationship is how in naturally sync they are, and how comfortable & smooth their dynamic is. They both have past burden, but it doesn’t matter, because they bring simple joy, understanding and happiness in each other’s lives.

In Sha Po Lang and The Guardian, the ML’s lingering love for the MC motivates them to become better version of themselves, to care about others, and to form a holistic vision about bettering society. 

In The Defective, Lin Jingheng(MC) explicitly said that Lu Bixing(ML) is the only meaning in his life. He had little incentive to care about his own life after his revenge plan fell apart. LBX helped him reconnect with his inner idealism, and gave him a reason value his life.

When the passion and fiery energy manifests itself, however, the romance is like burning iron, blood and fire. It isn’t actually toxic or unhealthy, but it's not pure and innocent either; in this case, it strives for something deeper and more intense, never content with the past or the present. The sheer intensity of relationship is like a double-edged sword, walking the fine line between unconditional devotion and dangerous obsession. 

SHL: Spring Water and Healing Open Wounds

The romance in SHL is like "spring water"; it's warm, gentle, nurturing. It breaks through the boundary between individuals to bring the couple closer to each other, taking them back to a utopia of their childhood dream, away from social pressure and responsibility. The theme central to their relationship is “salvation”: how love is able to bring people back to integrity.

Both drama wkx and drama zzs have lots of regret about their past sins and wrongdoings. Four Seasons Manor is essentially a metaphor for purity, acceptance and the safety of childhood home. How to make drama wkx open up and accept this safe harbor as his home is one of the most significant plot-lines of the show.

SHL couple is way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive. A significant part of SHL arc is healing the wounds in an open and honest way. They cuddle and confide in each other way more often, talk about their shameful past and even cry about their regrets in front of one another, which is very rare among MXTX/Priest works.

The heat of the relationship sometimes gets too hot and even burns; in other words, there are constant miscommunications, conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship. However, they can never let each other go, because it's the only source of warmth left for them in their hopeless lives filled with regrets and guilt.

Similarities and Differences

*Note that this is not a SHL/TYK comparison. TYK is kind of an “unorthodox” priest novel; you will know what I mean if you have read 3+ of her works. 

Relationship Dynamic & Narrative:  

In MXTX’s works, the concept of “romance” itself is divined; and the characters are illustration of the ideal of “undying love”. People are made for one another, to complete one another. Her works use colorful symbolism (silver butterflies, the emperor’s smile, the 3 thousand lanterns, etc.) to depict this romanticized ideal of love. 

For MXTX, the romanticization of “destined love” is one of the most recurring themes of her novels. Therefore, the readers look at their relationship through rose-color glasses. Obsession is usually framed in a jolly & romantic light, and doesn’t feature much tension or stress, and has less negative or unhealthy undertone. 

In most of priest’s works and SHL, soulmates are not born but made, so they have to figure out how their relationship works step by step. Therefore the narrative is less of a “rosy picture”. 

Priest has a habit of using derogatory terms to describe relationships that are mostly healthy, but somewhat “bloody” and edgy, full of excessive passion and obsession. The most common phrase is “爱生忧怖”, a Buddhist term meaning “love results in worry and fear”. 

SHL obviously has to be more subtle in expressing love. That said, drama WenZhou are way more emotionally vulnerable and expressive than their novel counterparts, as well as most Priest & MXTX characters. They have a dramatic falling out once in a while, even towards the end. They barely fit the Chinese definition of Zhiji (to know me/to understand one another), but are “lovers” who are buried deep in their passion instead. 

Past, Future and Evolvement: 

In SHL, characters are encouraged to treasure past impressions that are thrown in figurative “wrappings”, whose luster is derived from age-old experiences (Psychological Types, Carl Jung). In other words, they are encouraged to root their love in a shared past, a Utopia of innocence. 

The contrast between The Defective and Word of Honor is very interesting to observe. Both involve long separation, and the suffering and personality changes hat comes from it.   SHL narrative frames their innocent childhood as something to cling to and return to. Drama WKX is encouraged to accept his identity as Four Seasons Manor disciple because it was part of his childhood past. This is a significant part of drama WenZhou relationship.

In The Defective, the narrative doesn't encourage the couple to dwell on the past that much. On the contrary, the all-knowing AI explicitly discouraged the MC from “comparing past to present”. They are advised to accept changes, however painful it might be, and build a better, more equal dynamic out of it, evolving from one-sided pandering to fighting side-by-side.  

In Priest’s novels, the characters rarely return to something in the past, but look into the future. Change is usually framed as inherently beneficial, albeit usually painful and rocky, the implication being that you need to constantly strive for something better.  

Sha Po Lang is a good example of this, with Gu Yun’s changing attitude towards Chang Geng after he as he matures, gradually showing his intelligence in politics. CG starts referring to GY as Zixi instead of YiFu is also a sign of this change---to see him as equal rather than a parental figure & protector.

The Defective is even more obvious in this regard, with both parties uncomfortable with the change initially, but gradually adjusting to the changes during their 16-year separation. The ML also stops calling MC by his surname “Lin”, as a sign of viewing him as equal. 

In MXTX’s works, change in personality or relationship dynamic is neither framed as painful or good. It just happens. It’s a natural flow that take place when it does. Their relationships are rarely challenged by change. They are objectively at a better place compared to their past, but it’s merely the result of a series of events rather than a deliberate choice or struggle.  

WangXian’s relationship naturally changes over time after WWX’s rebirth, but neither of them really struggles with the change. 

Xie Lian doesn’t even recognize Hua Cheng as the someone from his past, so they start out as friends getting to know each other. 

Salvation and Changing one another: 

Priest herself stated in an interview that she doesn’t believe in the concept of salvation, since people have the inner capacity to be their own savior. Therefore, priest characters usually don’t actively try to change their partner’s morals or personality. Some might be willingly influenced by their partner, but there’s rarely an element of moral condemnation. Even when there is a conflict between different values, the options are 1) to reconcile them by choosing the middle ground 2) to maintain their independence and tackle it with nuance 3) to break up.

On surface level, Mo Du/Silent Reading is about Luo Wenzhou being Fei Du’s salvation. However, as LWZ pointed out himself, Fei Du would’ve been a good person at heart with or without his influence. 

In The Defective, when Lu Bixing mistakenly thought Lin Jingheng stayed in the Eighth Galaxy against his own wishes because of their relationship, and that their priorities are irreconcilable, he even thought about breaking up. Of course he was not serious about it, but this showcased that he would never try to change LJH’s convictions. 

In SHL, however, the concept of salvation is central to the theme. Some find it strange that SHL make drama zzs the more “moral” one of the two, despite his action being more objectively questionable. In fact, the only reason he get framed as more “moral” is that he admitted his fault sooner, and therefore could guide drama wkx’s path back to salvation: to recognize the goodness in people, make peace with external world, to clear his name in Jianghu, and to follow due process with his revenge plan to avoid collateral damages. 

“I tried to change you, but you end up changing me”, said drama ZZS. This relationship dynamic is never present in any of priest’s works I’ve read. Priest characters don’t *try* to change one another. 

Does MXTX believe in salvation? Hard to tell. One could argue that Hua Cheng would have be way more amoral and even immoral if it hadn’t been for XL. This is complicated and is a topic for another time.

However, it is certain that MXTX MCs don’t condemn each other morally. “The orthodox one defending their unorthodox partner in front of the world” is a common wuxia trope, but the way MXTX novels approach it is very different from SHL. 

HuaLian never had a serious falling out about being on different sides. Even when they disagree, they respect each other and love each other exactly the way they are. Hua Cheng didn’t approve of Xie Lian saving Mu Qing, but he didn’t interfere with Xie Lian’s decision. Xie Lian feels responsible for helping Shi Qingxuan in Blackwater arc, but he is perfectly fine with HC helping He Xuan keep secrets. In several cases where they have different values, they are able to make it work with ease.

LWJ never *morally* condemned WWX for his action, and never once objected to WWX practicing demonic cultivation after his rebirth. In fact, LWJ never objected to WWX’s morals; in their previous life he was worried about his safety, and struggled with what to do about certain situations due to his family background, but difference in morality is not an issue for them. 

The “righteous” one does not feel the need to guide their unorthodox partner or to be their salvation with regards to integrity. 

*The similarity & differences part is a bit messy and some points are not fleshed-out. Sorry about that. 

**I don’t claim to have the right interpretation. The lens by which we see different styles of romance is ultimately subjective. 

[cdroloisms]

Dream tried to stop Wil from creating L'Manburg, Phil tried to stop him from blowing it up, BOTH value people over items and builds, Phil has said that they're replaceable but people aren't, Dream traded spirit for his best friends fishes (we kno he's not someone to talk abt feelings:[) BOTH were kind and selfless but used by almost if not everyone, BOTH were ready to be THE VILLAINS if it meant everyone else could live better after. ONE of them always had someone there, ONE didn't. Intentional?

aaaa sorry for the really inconsistent posts ,, im gonna try to post a little more in the next few days. i have a few things written up, so look out for them? maybe? for now, have this *gestures vaguely* thing ,, it’s kinda a mess but *shrug*

phil is such a fun character, anon, especially for all the reasons that you mentioned in the ask!! he’s a really fun character with a lot of complexities that go (sadly) overlooked by a large portion of the fandom, but he’s super cool even tho i havent analyzed him too much. hope you enjoy (and i hope my interpretation of c!phil isnt too ooc lmao) 

tw: mentioned blood, injury, implied torture/abuse, starvation, trauma, mentioned death, prison arc/pandora’s vault

When Techno first brings Dream back from the prison, Phil doesn’t quite know what to think.

“I don’t trust him either,” Techno assures him, but there’s a flickering anger in the backs of his eyes, one that had emerged ever since he came back from the prison with the other man in his arms, and Phil knows his friend well enough to know that the words are empty in the face of the piglin hybrid’s particular brand of to-the-death loyalty. He shakes his head in reply, refusing to voice his thoughts for Techno’s sake, at least, but the look that the other slants at him suggests that he’s caught onto them all the same.

At first, the work is thankfully mindless; even if Phil has reservations on the man that Techno has more or less dumped into his house, he would hardly wish the clear suffering he’s been through on anyone. The first few days pass in a flurry of brewing potions, wrapping and rewrapping dressings, stitching up cuts and setting broken bones straight. The damage is extensive; Phil has to take more than a few breaks to just leave the house and breathe - he’s far from a stranger to blood and carnage, had received the title of ‘Angel of Death’ for a reason, but even he had never been particularly familiar with this form of cruelty. Torture was a level of violence that extended beyond what even he was willing to bestow - his hands may have caused many deaths, and the weight of each one would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life, but even those had the mercy of being a quick end. The wounds and scars that ripple over Dream’s skin, thin and stretched tightly over his bones with little muscle and fat left to cushion them, speak of horrors that were anything but merciful.

“I didn’t know they were capable of all of this,” Techno says, once, as they huddle of Dream, wringing towels in cold water to wipe his feverish skin. Techno’s hand reaches for the ribboning gold-filled scars that remain from the execution - carefully, Phil raises his hand to let his fingertips brush over them as well. “I mean, I knew he was dangerous and all, but-”

“I know, mate,” Phil looks back at Dream’s face, tight even in unconsciousness, at the darkened, hand-shaped bruises that remain around his throat, at the scar that runs over his left eye, clearly meant to mirror the same one that makes its way down the duck hybrid’s own face. “You said that Quackity and Sam were working together?”

“Yeah,” Techno’s expression darkens, eyes focused somewhere on the wall, seemingly very far away. He said that nothing happened to him in the prison, and he seemed relatively unharmed when Phil activated the stasis chamber, but ever since he came back, sometimes he’ll have moments, and Phil can’t help but - wonder. “Quackity does the dirty work, Sam gives him the way in and out, probably also the tools to do it. It’s-” he huffs a short, self-recriminating laugh. “It’s bad, Phil.”

“Mate-”

Techno shoots him a look, and Phil cringes, knowing already that he’d used the wrong tone. Even with the execution, Techno had been adamant to hide all traces of his own terror and fear away from him, masking it all with fury for Phil’s own sake. He knows, just from the way his old friend looks at the ribboning scars that remain sometimes, that he is far from as over the whole ordeal as he acts, but Techno never wants to talk and Phil never knows the right time to ask and they smooth it all behind plans and explosions and hope that the TNT can blow apart the trauma, too. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that the same thing is going to happen, here.

“As soon as we can,” Techno starts again, pointedly shifting his eyes away from Phil’s face, “we’re calling a Syndicate meeting to figure out what we’re going to do about the prison. Like- come on, man, you couldn’t make a more transparent abuse of institutional power if you tried, really-” he looks over, uncharacteristic uncertainty warring over his features. “If you think that’s good, I mean-“

“Of course, mate.” Phil’s voice softens. “Whenever you’re ready.”

‘Whenever he’s ready,’ as it turns out, is easier said than done, becoming even more evident when their charge wakes up from his days long spell of unconsciousness. The worst of his injuries have, under their careful care and the benefit of many potions, healed enough to no longer directly threaten his life, but the vast majority have quite some time to go before being healed completely. Being as the goal was torture and not death, most of his injuries weren’t made to be life-threatening, but rather to cause as much pain as possible - from the grimace that twists Dream’s face when he struggles to force himself awake, they’re doing their jobs.

“Hey, mate, slow down,” Phil murmurs, pressing the man down by his shoulder when Dream weakly tries to push himself up and off the bed, and his struggling only lasts for a few more minutes before he gives up and slumps against his pillow, eyes cracking open and seeming surprisingly lucid.

“Where-“ his voice is wrecked, and Phil reaches for the glass of water at the bedside as Dream coughs. “Where am I?”

“You’re at Techno’s house,” Dream’s eyes widen and then slip closed as he processes the information, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as they knit together. “We broke you out, after Techno escaped with a stasis chamber with your book. Do you remember?”

Dream gnaws on his bottom lip. “Um- yeah. I think.” His head turns as his eyes crack open again- “Techno-“

“He’s out, right now. He’ll be back in a bit.”

“Oh.” Dream falls back into the bed, strength seemingly sapped from the short conversation. His breathing stutters, then steadies. “Okay.”

Recovery is slow. Phil doesn’t actually find himself seeing the man very often; now that he doesn’t need around-the-clock care anymore, he’s moved back into his own house, letting Techno do most of the work when it comes to rehabilitating the escaped convict crashing at his house. As he begins to spend more of his time awake and aware, he brings a whole slew of new problems; Phil catches him screaming one day, blurting harsh, angry words as Techno reads, unbothered from the other side of the room, and he stops in his tracks standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um-“ he winces when Dream curses, smashes something against the floor, and then curls into himself at the sound. Techno doesn’t even flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”

Dream stomps away, face flushed, arms wrapped around himself. Techno raises an eyebrow.

“You lookin’ for something, Phil?” he asks, and the unpleasant knot in Phil’s chest refuses to unwind.

The episodes, unfortunately, don’t seem to get much better. Though he’s rarely outright violent, Dream looks constantly murderous, usually muttering underneath his breath about something or another while he stalks the grounds of Techno’s house. It’s not too long before Techno sends him out to work around the house instead of just moping within the cottage, which also means that Phil sees him a lot more - tending to a small farm behind the house, feeding the dogs, hacking away at mobs, and usually complaining the entire time. It’s unnerving, even as injured and unarmored as the man is, to see him walking around like this; despite his rather pathetic appearance, swamped in sweaters that dwarf him thoroughly and thin enough to look like the slightest breeze will knock him over, his eyes are flinty and intelligent and bubble with promises of revenge.

“FUCK!” Phil turns to see him slamming a shovel into the snow, stomping away into the woods, and his hands tighten around his cup of tea. Next to him, Techno shrugs.

“Nerd’s got a few issues,” he drawls, and Phil laughs shortly.

“That seems like an understatement.”

“He’ll ease up in time,” Techno sounds surprisingly confident, completely content despite the muffled curses that come from the woods next to them. He’s probably used to it, with Chat and all, but Phil can’t quite seem to find the same calm.

“I just don’t know, mate,” Phil shakes his head. “You sure having him around is the best idea? He doesn’t seem...stable.”

Techno looks up at him over the rim of his cup of coffee. His head tilts, considering, but there’s a small smile on his face that tells Phil that Techno, inexplicably, doesn’t share the same sentiments. There was always a part of him that was, for the lack of a better word, softer than the rest of the server for his self-proclaimed rival, a sort of understanding that Phil could hardly hope (nor would really want to) understand.

“Don’t worry, Phil, if he tries anything I can always just tie him up in the attic or something,” Phil huffs a small laugh, amused, and nods to concede the point. “And- well, call it intuition. You could really try talkin’ to him, you know. He reminds me of you, sometimes.”

The words stick in his head despite his best efforts, rattling in his skull when he tries to sleep, lingering when he catches glimpses of the green-clothed man stalking around their properties. He can’t imagine what would’ve prompted his old friend to make the comparison, can’t think of a single thing (besides their affinity for the color green) that would mark him as similar to the - from what he’s heard - deranged menace with a particular penchant for destruction (not that his rants and fits of anger are doing anything to correct that impression). Even so, Techno had sounded so sure when he’d made the comparison, the words offhand like he’d thought them a million times before, like it was a simple observation that held no more weight than commenting on the color of the sky. Phil watches as Dream lugs a pile of logs behind him, huffing at one of Techno’s dogs that comes to chase and nip at his feet and grumbling loudly before faceplanting into the snow. He just...can’t see it.

Days later, Wilbur comes to visit, a grin on his lips as he dramatically recounts his newest exploit: a nation by Las Nevadas, a supposed safe haven away from the glitter and glory of Quackity’s city; it sounds brilliant, it sounds lovely, and more than anything it sounds stupid, and Phil tells him as such immediately.

“You’re being reckless,” he rants at his son, wings flaring outwards and only barely noticing Dream watching from the corner of his eye, “What are you doing- picking fights with Quackity? Starting another nation- didn’t you see what happened to the first two you made? You’re going to get yourself killed, Wil!”

“Well, I’ve already seen what’s on the other side of death, and it’s really not that bad-“

“You’re my son!” The words are angrier than Phil would’ve liked, and he knows that he looks ridiculous and overbearing, criticizing the actions of his fully grown son, but all he can see is Wilbur’s face, slack with pain and grief, stained with ash and soot as his eyes flutter to half-mast in the midst of the rubble of a country he loved and destroyed and destroyed him in turn. “I can’t lose you again, Wil!”

Wilbur doesn’t quite storm out, but it’s a near thing, leaving with a clipped goodbye and leaving Phil seething on his doorstep. He spends the rest of the night pacing around the house in a sort of mad frenzy, wings stretching and folding over and over. Not for the first time, he longs for the sky, to feel the air through his wings and let the world fall into pinpricks below him; it’s this that leads him to the roof of his house, staring stubbornly at the clouds as the sun sinks down to the horizon.

“Hey.”

Phil startles; there, down below him, is Dream. He rocks back on his heels, seeming awkward, before clambering up the wall (Phil rolls his eyes at the ease with which he scales it, the feeling in his chest almost fond) and settling himself on the shingles at Phil’s side.

“Hey, mate,” Phil shakes his head. The fondness leaves, and the irritation that had risen at Wilbur’s words, earlier, comes back full-force. “Sorry- Wil came to visit, we talked. I just needed some time to think.”

Dream hums in acknowledgement, and they fall into a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipping down past the mountains in the distance.

“You know,” Dream starts, sudden, “I told him the same thing.” He looks up at Phil, eyes faraway with old memories. “Wilbur, I mean. When he made L’manburg- I told him he was being reckless.” He shrugs. “I guess he never listened.”

Phil pauses, Techno’s words ringing in his ears. He reminds me of you, sometimes.

Dream looks surprisingly normal up close - face no longer reddened with fever or pale from blood loss, even the scars fail to really take from the boyishness of his face. He bites his lips, eyes falling away at Phil’s scrutiny, golden blond hair flopping over his forehead, newly trimmed to be something a little closer to his old length, at least in the front, the back pulled into a small ponytail. He’s young, and shockingly awkward, teeth worrying his lip, hands fiddling with each other, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times a minute. He looks like a kid.

“He never does,” Phil lets himself smile, watches as Dream smiles back, almost like they’re sharing a joke. He wonders how well he really knows the man behind the mask. “Want to come in for some tea?”

Dream smiles wider, and something old and worn in Phils chest, knocked loose ever since he felt his son fall limp in his arms with his own sword shoved between his ribs, falls back into place.

“That would be great,” Dream replies, the words almost hopeful, and they go inside.

[magnetic-rose]

Why Spones is a top-tier ship

AKA “the inherent homoeroticism of annoying the shit out of your co-worker.”

Spock and McCoy have a complicated relationship. A lot of their bickering and ideological differences lead fans to believe that they hate each other, but that’s an over-simplification of the truth. The reality is that Spock and McCoy are extremely close friends who care about each other deeply. Though sometimes their bickering turns serious during stressful situations, for the most time they seem to enjoy the banter. A common mischaracterization of their relationship seems to put McCoy as the bully and Spock as the victim. In truth, there are many times where Spock will say something specifically to get a rise out of McCoy. They fight. That’s how they show affection, not disdain. In fact, one could argue that some of their bantering have a flirtatious tone to it.

Kirk: Mister Spock, regaining eyesight would be an emotional experience for most. You, I assume, felt nothing.

Spock: On the contrary Captain. I had a very strong reaction. My first sight was the face of Doctor McCoy bending over me.

McCoy: ‘Tis a pity brief blindness didn’t increase your appreciation for beauty, Spock. (Operation -- Annihilate!)

Spock is a half-Vulcan, half-Human who has mostly chosen to follow his Vulcan heritage. As such, he is a being of almost pure logic. The truth about Vulcans are that they are secretly beings who feel things very deeply and intensely, and they feel the need to keep a tight lid on their emotions as to not succumb to them. McCoy, on the other hand, is a regular human. He’s a deeply emotional man who cares about others. One could argue that McCoy is almost too empathetic, as he lets his emotions rule him. Spock and McCoy are polar opposites; the brain and the heart, the logic and the emotion, the super-ego and the id.

Despite these differences, the two men are similar in a lot of ways. They’re both men of science, men of peace, and they both care very deeply for their Captain. They’re both self-sacrificing morons, to the chagrin of the other. Spock will prioritize McCoy’s life even when both of them know it’s not the logical choice to do so. Likewise, McCoy will take a hit for Spock even when they both know the Vulcan is stronger and better equipped to deal with pain than the doctor.

Spock: (In the middle of a blizzard) In this severe cold, we cannot survive much longer.

McCoy: Leave me here, Spock.

Spock: We go together or not at all.

McCoy: Don’t be a fool. My hands and face are frostbitten. I can’t feel my feet. Alone, you have a chance. Now do what I say. Go try to find Jim.

Spock: We go together! (All of Yesterdays)

In the episode, “The Empath,” Kirk, Spock and McCoy have to choose someone to be offered as sacrifice to be tortured by a group of aliens. Kirk obviously volunteers, but gets put to sleep by McCoy with a tranquilizer. Spock then states that he’ll offer himself up, as he has the higher chance of surviving the torture. McCoy then proceeds to sedate Spock as well, and sacrifices himself to be tortured by the aliens.

Spock: While the captain is asleep, I am in command. When the Vians return, I shall go with them.

McCoy: You mean, if I hadn't given him that shot

Spock: Precisely. The choice would have been the captain's. Now it is mine.

(McCoy turns away. Spock sits to carry on working. Gem puts her hand on Spock's shoulder, and smiles. McCoy comes up behind him and gives him an injection.)

Spock: Your action is highly unethical. My decision stands. (Spock falls asleep next to Kirk.)

McCoy: Not this time, Spock.

Underneath all the fighting and disagreements, there is a deep caring between Spock and McCoy that manifests itself into protectiveness towards each other. In “All of Yesterdays,” Spock is constantly showing concern for McCoy after he almost died of hypothermia. In aftermath of McCoy’s torture in “The Empath,” Spock is seen hovering over his body and caressing his face, worry written into his features. On the other hand, while McCoy constantly makes fun of Spock for his lack of emotions, he’s also highly aware of the Vulcan’s mental state and protective of it when others threaten to shatter his resilience.

McCoy: He's a Vulcan. You can't force emotion out of him.

Philana: You must be joking, Doctor.

McCoy: You'll destroy him.

Parmen: We can't let him die laughing, can we?

McCoy: (Watching as Spock starts to cry) I beg you! (Plato’s Stepchildren)

The episode “Amok Time” also demonstrates McCoy’s perceptiveness of Spock and Spock’s true feelings of friendship towards McCoy. McCoy is in fact the first person to notice that something is wrong with Spock:

McCoy: Oh, captain. Got a minute? It's Spock. Have you noticed anything strange about him?

Kirk: No, nothing in particular. Why ?

McCoy: Well, it's nothing I can pinpoint without an examination, but he's become increasingly restive. If he were not a Vulcan, I'd almost say nervous. And for another thing, he's avoiding food. I checked and he hasn't eaten at all in three days.

Kirk: That just sounds like Mister Spock in one of his contemplative phases.

Kirk doesn’t notice anything wrong with Spock, and initially dismisses McCoy’s concern, but McCoy immediately picked up on Spock’s mental turmoil. Despite his cantankerousness, McCoy not only cares about Spock but goes out of his way to look out for his mental state. Part of it might be because he’s his doctor, but how many doctors go so far as to monitor someone’s eating habits because they notice that person’s suddenly being fidgety? On Spock’s end, when it comes time for him to beam down to Vulcan to complete his marriage ceremony, he specifically asks for McCoy to be there:

Spock: By tradition, the male is accompanied by his closest friends.

Kirk: Thank you, Mister Spock.

Spock: I also request McCoy accompany me.

McCoy: I shall be honoured, sir.

One episode I find extremely fascinating in terms of McCoy/Spock moments is “Mirror, Mirror.” In this famous episode, half of the Enterprise crew get transported into an alternate universe dubbed The Mirror Verse, in which evil versions of the characters exist and terrorize space as a fearsome military force. McCoy is part of the team that gets transported in the Mirror Verse, while Spock stays in their regular universe. Mirror Spock immediately realizes that half of the crew, including Kirk and McCoy, are acting strangely. When he corners Kirk to question him, he does so by threatening McCoy: “I shall not waste time with you. You’re too inflexible, too disciplined, once you’ve made up your mind. But Doctor McCoy has a plenitude of human weaknesses, sentimental, soft. You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.” This Spock seems to have a intimate knowledge of McCoy’s mind.  When the party decides to attack Mirror Spock, he fights all of them except for Uhura and McCoy, who he simply pushes out of harm’s way.

When Mirror Spock gets hurt as the crew is trying to escape back to their own universe, McCoy is suddenly unable to leave his side. Kirk allows him to stay to nurse Spock back to health, and McCoy risks almost staying in the Mirror Verse forever for him. When Mirror Spock awakes, he backs McCoy into a wall and initiates a forced mind meld onto the doctor. The next scene has Mirror Spock holding a disoriented McCoy up and bringing him back to his crew; he now understands what is happening and he wants his regular crew back, and thus he allows Kirk and company to make the switch back to their own universe.

Other Star Trek properties have gone more in depth on how a forced mind meld can be extremely traumatizing on the person receiving it. Star Trek: Enterprise has an entire story arc dedicated to the Vulcan T’Pol trying to heal from a forced mind meld. Unfortunately, because the nature of TOS episodes were episodic, we never got the chance to explore the emotional fallout of McCoy’s forced mind meld and how that might have affected his relationship with Spock. The franchise also never went in depth on Mirror McCoy outside of what Mirror Spock speaks of him, since Mirror McCoy died of xenopolycythemia in 2269.

Closing the list of evidence of Spock and McCoy’s affections towards each other are the Star Trek movies “The Wrath of Khan” and “The Search for Spock.” Towards the end of Wrath of Khan, Spock sacrifices himself to save The Enterprise in one of the franchises most heart-wrenching scenes. Moments before his sacrifice, he knocks McCoy unconscious, touches his face and whispers “remember.” What happened in this scene was that Spock, knowing he was about to die, transferred his Katra to McCoy. The katra being the Vulcan equivalent of a soul. This speaks to the amount of trust that Spock has in McCoy. For someone who keeps most of his emotions under a tight lid, it’s a huge gesture to entrust another with the essence of their entire being. The next movie, The Search for Spock, is a journey as the Enterprise crew fight to return to Vulcan so they can reunite Spock with his body. When they finally arrive, the Vulcans warn McCoy that the process is extremely dangerous and could even result in his death. McCoy calmly replies that he “chooses the danger.” He cannot fathom living his life without Spock.

McCoy: (Speaking to Spock) I'm going to tell you something that I... I never thought I'd hear myself say...But it seems I've missed you. I don't know if I could stand to lose you again.

So in conclusion, Spock and McCoy have a rich and complex relationship that is much more than simply just “they dislike each other because they bicker a lot.” Their bickering is more akin to that of an old married couple. There are plenty of examples not even included in this post of how deeply they care for each other. Despite their ideological differences, they balance each other out quite nicely. McCoy is finely attuned to Spock’s emotions, arguably better than anyone else on the ship. Spock in turn is protective and gentle with McCoy. Once you stop looking at their interactions solely on the surface level, you’ll be able to see the tenderness and years of love and friendship between them. This is why I think Spock/McCoy is one of the most underrated and misunderstood relationships of TOS. Don’t let the constant arguing fool you into believing these two dummies don’t adore each other.

Shout-out to Tempest for their extremely lengthy ship manifesto on Spones called “Spiced Peaches,” which goes even more in depth on why Spones is a great couple. Using their manifesto as a reference was key to remembering Spock/McCoy moments. Also shout-out to the site chakoteya for having full transcripts of TOS episodes, so I could easily find quotes for this. If you’ve come this far, thanks for reading!

[writingwithcolor]

First, thank you for providing writers with this resource! It’s been really helpful to me personally even though this is my first time making a submission, and it addresses subjects I think every writer should be taking into account. Anyways, one of my stories is about a woman on the run from her abusive ex who she’s discovered is a shapeshifter. I’ve had this character in my head for awhile now who I’ve been struggling to give a narrative to who is a Black woman, but I know a lot of Black people are tired of seeing stories revolve around their suffering. If I gave her moments of happiness and empowerment, would it be ok to cast her in this role? My second question concerns the protagonist of my other work who is Jewish, and while she is the one fighting against a corrupt elite government, I’m worried that having her casually steal things to accomplish this task and because it kind of fits with her party girl image might come off wrong. I might be overthinking these but I figured better safe than sorry.

Two characters: Jewish party girl who steals & Black woman escaping abuse

Jewish party girl who steals

I smiled when I saw the Jewish part of this question because the title character in my Cinnamon Blade book is also a party girl, Jewish, who steals things -- at least in her backstory. What makes both my character and your character okay as far as the tropes go, is that neither one of them is stealing from the less fortunate in order to satisfy their own financial greed. Mine was stealing jewels and art for the adrenaline rush (she is now reformed and works as a superhero!) and yours is stealing for a worthy cause, to support the good guys in their revolution.

Since your character’s motivation is 100% altruistic, even if she’s enjoying herself a little I think you are fine. I don’t think you’re overthinking because it was a very sensible question. (Maybe stay away from having her steal from people who it would harm? Like, have her steal from people or organizations that can definitely afford the shrinkage or can replace the items easily, or if they can’t, are big powerful wealthy jerks or something.)

--Shira

Black woman escapes abuse

It is curious to me that Black women, when represented, are prominently featured in roles where we face abuse and/or suffering. Especially once you compare these roles to the other characters, particularly white ones, who often do not face suffering to the level the Black women characters do. We only know about two characters from your story here, but there’s a notable difference in narratives.

So yes, I am given pause that this was what you came up with when deciding on the role for your Black woman character. Really ask yourself why you assigned her this role. There’s enough Black women struggle narratives as it is, in my opinion. I’d rather leave it to the Black creators who feel compelled to explore those topics and come at it with a real life POV.

Balance the struggles 

Featuring happy moments and empowerment not only helps, but is necessary to avoid making a full-blown struggle arc out of your Black character’s narrative.

Mind your focus

Avoid graphic depictions, flashbacks or descriptions of the abuse. 

There’s no need to dive deep into the intricacies. I do not mean that you should minimize the impact the abuse has on her, but being explicit and putting Black character through immense pain can come across as exploitative and using Black pain for shock value and plot interest.

Other things to keep in mind

Is this a recent escape where everything is fresh vs. some time passing that has allowed healing and distance from the situation?

Does she have a support system? Coping methods? What about therapy? 

Is her character arc summed up to “Abuse victim”? Her storyline shouldn’t depend heavily on the abuse, lest you intentionally want to write a struggle novel (which I don’t recommend for those outside of the group and especially when other characters aren’t depicted with equal levels of struggle)

Focus on the aftermath of her escape instead of the abuse itself. The hope, coping and healing. If this isn’t your struggle, as a non-Black woman, I don’t recommend over-representing those intense moments of pain and trauma on the page.

More reading

White Authors and Topics to Avoid/Tread Carefully (check out the gray areas, which mentions escape narratives)

Asexual Black Characters, Tropes, and Suffering 

Black Women and Suffering During the End of the World 

Hardships, Suffering, and Protagonists of Color

Black girls & women: representation we want 

~Mod Colette

[sunandmoongobrrr]

Korra and her Brutalization: A Legend of Korra Meta

In honor of International Womens’ Day, I want to talk a little bit about Legend of Korra and the treatment of Korra (and to a small extent other women) throughout the show. Content warning: there's some disturbing scenes that I show here, but if you've watched all of LoK, you should be fine.

Korra starts off confident; she is a young avatar who is eager to learn and feels suffocated from the isolation she is kept in from a very young age. But that doesn’t stop her, and like the headstrong girl she is, she moves to Republic City to make a difference and step into her role as the avatar.

Korra immediately starts to doubt herself; she becomes unsure of her abilities and frustrated with herself, and through that she learns to become emotionally vulnerable with Tenzin. To me, this was really great. It showed that you can be confident and vulnerable, and that the two aren’t necessarily independent of each other.

(I’m going to be honest, the 2nd season I didn’t really remember much of, so I’m just going to skip over that. Because what I really want to talk about is season 3.)

In season three, Korra faces the Red Lotus, an “anarchist” group that essentially wants to kill her. And they get pretty close. First, I want to talk about how Tenzin is beaten by the Red Lotus. This has been brought up in Lily Orchard’s (in?)famous LOK video, and while I disagree with her on many many topics of the show, I really think she has a point here. When Tenzin is being brutalized by the Red Lotus, the camera pans away. It is SO painful to see him like this, and the directors know it. It’s TOO painful to see it, so they don’t show you it, and the episode ends before we can see him be defeated.

Contrast that with Korra. They show you every detail of this. And I mean every detail.

It’s disgusting, and they refuse to treat her with any sort of decency or respect like they do Tenzin. It’s almost like they want us to enjoy her torturing. It’s genuinely gross.

People will often refute this by saying “LoK is just a darker show! Look at what they did to the Earth Queen!” And while yes, it is marketed towards an older audience, there’s still no point in brutalizing Korra this way. The main difference between Korra and the Earth Queen is that… well, Korra’s the protagonist. We’re supposed to be rooting for her, and while the Earth Queen being suffocated was definitely dark, it wasn’t unprecedented. The audience was never supposed to like the Earth Queen—she exploited and kidnapped her own people, so of course we wouldn’t care THAT much if she died. But we’ve been with Korra since the beginning. We’re supposed to want her to be happy, and why on earth would we want her to be tortured brutally in such a disgusting way that gives her absolutely no dignity? If we want her to succeed?

(here Zaheer uses the same technique used on the Earth Queen to suffocate here on Korra. for some reason)

In Season 4, the main focus is on Korra and her healing from the brutal things the Red Lotus did to her. She is clearly still struggling, and it could have been another great way to show how being physically strong and confident doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable. But they make a lot of bad choices in this season.

One of my main gripes is that in order to heal, she has to return to her abuser, Zaheer, and HE has to teach her how to feel better.

I don’t want to compare LoK to ATLA, although it’s very important to mention that a show that’s a direct sequel, uses its old characters, and banks off of references, should be able to be compared to its predecessor. But I think it’s important to compare Korra’s arc here to Zuko. This doesn’t come out of nowhere; Korra has a lot of similarities to Zuko. The chopping of her hair is a significant turning point in her arc, and there’s an episode called “Korra Alone” (which is clearly a direct callback; shown below).

The difference between Zuko and Katara is that, a. Zuko never had to accept his abuser, and b. Zuko started off as a villain.

One of Zuko’s major points is when he confronts his father—his abuser. He does not bow to him and give in, saying that maybe he had a few good points or his heart was in the right place, but he directly says that Ozai was wrong for what he did. This isn’t the case with Korra. For some reason, Korra has to learn to trust her abuser. The person who did this to her:

And she has to hear him out.

This leads me to my second point, and what’s basically the complaint I have; despite being a protagonist, the show treats Korra like a villain. It frames her torture scenes as if we’re supposed to be excited that she’s being brutalized, as if we’re supposed to think she deserves it. And it’s not even handled properly as one of the villains we know so well—Zuko, who was able to overcome his abuse and become a protagonist who we root for. Again, Zuko and Korra aren’t directly the same characters, but there are parallels between the two and the show encourages their comparison. When it comes to Korra, however, we’re supposed to believe that she deserves everything that comes to her; the brutal scenes and the lack of dignity, even if she is a protagonist.

And in the end, that’s what we’re meant to believe; that Korra deserved what happened to her. In the finale, Korra says, “I finally understand why I had to go through all that. I needed to understand what true suffering was, so I could become more compassionate to others.”

This is, to put it short, ridiculous. I hate this so much I can’t even begin to say how much I hate it. No, Korra did not have to go through the torture she went through. She did not have to go through the mercury poisoning. She did not have to go through every hardship she did. This “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is so harmful because Korra’s healing revolved around accepting her abuser and thanking him for the awful things he did to her. Korra wasn’t even that cocky by the end of the first season, so what it’s essentially indirectly teaching girls is that if you’re confident, you’ll pay. It’s disgusting.

Zuko got a banishment to the Earth Kingdom, got to have his ideas and practices challenged, but he never got physically tortured. I truly, truly believe that one of the main reasons why Korra is quite literally villainized by the show is because she was a confident, brown teenage girl. None of the male characters are treated with such disrespect and we never get told that they need to be “humbled” by abuse.

This is not completely resolved to LoK; there are some aspects in ATLA that I think could’ve been fixed had there been more women in the room. I tag her a lot (bc her metas are awesome), but I really recommend you read @araeph 's Katara: Consumed by Destiny series. I also have a meta here about how Katara is treated in ATLA, specifically in “The Fortuneteller.” (I want to emphasize that while I am anti-Kataang, I don’t believe that Katara’s treatment had to do with the ship itself or that kataang is inherently anti-Katara. It’s just a note about how her character is treated in this episode and beyond.)

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they’re ‘glad’ that LoK didn’t feature Suki or Mai or Ty Lee, because they can’t imagine how poorly they’d be represented. And honestly, I can’t blame them.

This isn’t to say that we need to stop watching LOK or even ATLA. I think the internet has this weird problem where we’ve been told that the way to get rid of problematic media is to just stop consuming anything even remotely problematic altogether. But certain aspects of media will always be relatively problematic, since as content creators we sometimes input our biases into the things we create. The solution, then, is not to banish anyone who puts any harmful stereotypes into their content from society, but to actively and healthily criticize it. Bryke are not God, but they’re also not demons put on the earth to suppress woc. They’re white guys that have implicit biases that have worked their way into the content they produce. I think the lesson learned here, is to have women, especially BIWOC, in writing rooms, to prevent atrocious acts from happening to future Korra's.

Happy International Women’s Day, y’all.

[silverlinedeyes]

Elain’s Lack of Development and The Next Book

I find all the posts and comments I see about how Elain’s book can’t be next because she’s not developed enough really interesting if perplexing. I don’t think this is the case at all for several reasons.

1. A character doesn’t have to be developed to be a main character. Indeed, stand-alone books always feature a character who is completely undeveloped as the main character (because we haven’t met them yet)!

2. SJM appears to have purposefully given Elain little page time in ACOSF, presumably to keep a lot of her thoughts and who she is a mystery until we get her book. That’s what makes her exciting as a main character—that we don’t really know her yet. If we did already know her well, and she’s already had a prevalent arc, that would take away from her story in her book. The whole point is that we get to really learn about who Elain is in HER story, not someone else’s.

3. If gwynriel’s book is next, Elain isn’t going to get significantly more development in the next book. Gwyn has never met Elain, so there is no reason for Elain to have page time with gwyn. And things with Elain and azriel presumably will have ended (badly, or at least not comfortably), so it seems she wouldn’t get page time in azriel’s POV either. Instead, she’ll likely leave the night court and develop off the page (presumably with Lucien).

4. What we saw of Elain in ACOSF suggests her book is next. We saw Elain start to stand up to Nesta for the first time, suggesting that Elain is ready to come into her own. SJM reminded the reader of Elain’s trauma and that she is still healing from that when Elain confronted Nesta about how Nesta has used Elain’s trauma. Cassian questioned the existence and extent of Elain’s powers several times, reminding the reader that we have a lot to learn about her powers. Several characters started to realize that there is more to Elain than they realized. And we saw that Elain has learned to be stealthy and to keep secrets. All of this seems to be setting the stage for Elain’s book.

And one final point. From a plot standpoint, I’m not really sure what Gwynriel brings to the story. More Valkyrie training, which we already got an entire book of? More Valkyrie bonding, which we already got an entire book of? An Illyrian plotline, even though that’s not connected to Koschei at all, and would seem to center Gwyn in a story that doesn’t involve her? A possible love triangle between Elain Az and Gwyn that results in either Elain or Az being rejected AGAIN? I guess an autumn court plotline if Gwyn is related to Lucien or Eris in some way (and that somehow comes to light)? I just don’t see how any of this moves the Koschei plotline forward, and it seems like more of the same to what we’ve already had in ACOSF. It was fun the first time, but I’m not sure it would be so fun the second time.

Meanwhile, an Elriel book allows us to explore different parts of the world to look for the fourth trove. It allows Elain to explore her powers as a seer and whatever other powers she has. We will get to see a new female friendship (Elain and Nuala and Cerridwen) and explore that, along with who Nuala and Cerridwen are and what their powers and backstory are. We will get to see a different kind of strength and power explored—not fighting, but spying and shadow work and stealth. We will learn a lot more about Koschei. We might get the blood dual. We’d get a mating bond rejection, which while painful for everyone involved will be interesting to explore (and we know Lucien will get his happy ending later). And we’ll get a second showdown with Koschei (and presumably see him set free to set up for ACOTAR 6 😱).

The latter sounds like a much more interesting story to me, and is much more connected to the overarching Koschei plot 🤷‍♀️

[firelxdykatara]

I’m just really confused as to where this idea that Zuko is gaycoded came from. Like people are allowed to have that headcanon but I don’t understand where people are coming from when they try and claim that he was undisputedly gaycoded and trying to deny it is homophobic when he’s only ever shown romantic interest in women.

I made a pretty long post on the topic a while back, but the ultimate gist of it is this: there are a lot of elements of Zuko's status as an abuse victim and trauma survivor that resonate with queer folks. This is understandable and completely fine! However, there are some parts of the fandom who have taken that to the other extreme and will now insist that those elements are uniquely queer, and that they can only be read as some sort of veiled gay/coming out narrative, even though that doesn't make much sense since there is no part of Zuko's narrative which is unique to any sort of queer experience.

I think the problem really does stem from two things being conflated--Zuko's history of abuse and trauma, and trauma&abuse being something a lot of queer people have experienced. I suspect it goes something like 'I see a lot of myself in Zuko, and I was abused for being gay, therefore Zuko must be gay too in order to have had similar experiences.' This can then lead to feeling dismissed or invalidated when other people point out that those experiences are not unique to being queer--but on the flip side, abuse victims and trauma survivors whose abuse&trauma do not stem from queerness (even if they are queer themselves) can feel invalidated and dismissed by the implication that their trauma must be connected to their queerness or it isn't valid.

This is also where the 'people don't actually know what gay coded means' part comes in, and I realize now that I didn't actually get into what gay coding (and queer coding in general) actually means, since I was so hung up on pointing out how Zuko doesn't really fit the mold. (And the few elements that exist which could be said to count are because of the 'villains historically get queer coded bc Hays Code era' thing and mostly occur in Book 1, not because of how he acts as an abuse&trauma survivor.)

Under a cut because I kind of go on a tangent about gay/queer coding, but I swear I get back to the point eventually.

Queer coding (and it is notable that, with respect to Zuko, it is almost always framed as 'he couldn't possibly be attracted to girls', rather than 'he could be attracted to boys as well as girls' in these discussions, for... no real discernible reason, but I'll get into that in a bit) is the practice of giving characters 'stereotypically queer' traits and characteristics to 'slide them under the radar' in an era where having explicitly queer characters on screen was not allowed, unless they were evil or otherwise narratively punished for their queerness. (See: the extant history of villains being queer-coded, because if they were Evil then it was ok to make them 'look gay', since the story wasn't going to be rewarding their queerness and making audiences think it was in any way OK.) This is thanks to the Motion Picture Production Code (colloquially and more popularly known as the Hays Code), which was a set of guidelines which movies coming out of any major studio had to adhere to in order to be slated for public release and lasted from the early 1930s until it was finally abandoned in the late 60s.

The Hays Code essentially existed to ensure that the content of major motion pictures would not 'lower the moral standards' of the viewing public. It didn't just have to do with queerness--cursing was heavily monitored, sex outside of marriage was not allowed to be seen as desirable or tittilating, miscegenation was not allowed (most specifically interracial relationships between black and white people), criminals had to be punished lest the audience think that it was ok to be gay and do crime, etc. Since same-sex relations fell under 'sexual perversion', they could not be shown unless the 'perversion' were punished in some way. (This is also the origin of the Bury Your Gays trope, another term that is widely misunderstood and misapplied today.) To get around this, queer coding became the practice by which movies and television could depict queer people but not really, and it also became customary to give villains this coding even more overtly, since they would get punished by the end of the film or series anyway and there was nothing to lose by making them flamboyant and racy/overly sexual/promiscuous.

Over time, this practice of making villains flamboyant, sexually aggressive, &etc became somewhat separated from its origins in queer coding, by which I mean that these traits and tropes became the go-to for villains even when the creator had no real intention of making them seem queer. This is how you generally get unintentional queer-coding--because these traits that have been given to villains for decades have roots in coding, but people tend to go right to them when it comes to creating their villains without considering where they came from.

Even after the Hays Code was abandoned, the sentiments and practices remained. Having queer characters who weren't punished by the narrative for being queer was exceptionally rare, and it really isn't until the last fifteen or so years that we've seen any pushback against that. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is famous for being one of the first shows on primetime television to feature an explicitly gay relationship on-screen, and that relationship ended in one of the most painful instances of Bury Your Gays that I have ever personally witnessed. (Something that, fourteen years later, The 100 would visually and textually reference with Lexa's death. Getting hit by a bullet intended for someone else after a night of finally getting to be happy and have sex with her s/o? It wasn't remotely subtle. I don't even like Clexa, but that was incredibly rough to witness.)

However, bringing this back to Zuko, he really doesn't fit the criteria for queer coding for a number of reasons. First of all, no one behind the scenes (mostly a bunch of cishet men) was at all intending to include queer rep in the show. This wasn't a case where they were like 'well, we really wanted to make Zuko gay, but we couldn't get that past the censors, so here are a few winks and a nudge', because it just wasn't on their radar at all. Which makes sense--it wasn't on most radars in that era of children's programming. This isn't really an indictment, it's just a fact of the time--in the mid/late 00s, no one was really thinking about putting queer characters in children's cartoons. People were barely beginning to include them in more teen- and adult-oriented television and movies. It just wasn't something that a couple of straight men, who were creating a fantasy series aimed at young kids, were going to think about.

What few instances you can point to from the series where Zuko might be considered to exhibit coding largely happen in Book 1, when he was a villain, because the writers were drawing from typically villainous traits that had historically come from queer coding villains and had since passed into common usage as villainous traits. But they weren't done with any intention of making it seem like Zuko might be attracted to boys.

And, again, what people actually point to as 'evidence' of Zuko being queer-coded--his awkwardness on his date with Jin and his confrontation with Ozai being the big ones I can think of off the top of my head--are actually just... traits that come from his history of trauma and abuse.

As I said in that old post:

making [zuko’s confrontation of ozai] about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

And, regarding his date with Jin:

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

Zuko is socially awkward and maladjusted because he was abused by his father as a child and has trouble relating to people as a result. He was heavily traumatized and brutally physically injured as a teenager, and it took him years to begin to truly recover from the scars that left on his psyche (and it's highly likely, despite the strides he made in canon, that he has a long way to go, post series; it's such a pity that we never got any continuation comics >.>). He was not abused for being gay or queer--he was abused because his father believed he was weak, and part of Zuko's journey was realizing that his father's perception of strength was flawed at its core. That his entire nation had rotted from the inside out, and the regime needed to be changed in order for the world--including his people--to begin to heal.

That could be commingled with a coming out narrative, which is completely fine for headcanons (although I personally prefer not to, because, again, we have more than enough queer trauma already), but it simply doesn't exist in canon. Zuko was not abused or traumatized for being queer, and his confrontation with Ozai was not about him coming out or realizing any fundamental truth about himself--it was about realizing something fundamental about his father and his nation, and making the choice to leave them behind so that he could help the Avatar grow stronger and force things to change when he got back.

TL;DR: at the end of the day, none of the traits, scenes, or behavior Zuko exhibits which shippers tend to use to claim he was gay-coded are actually evidence of coding--they aren't uniquely queer experiences, as they stem from abuse that was not related in any way to his sexuality, and they are experiences that any kid who suffered similar abuse or trauma could recognize and resonate with. (Including straight kids, and queer kids who were abused for any reason other than their identity.) And, finally, Zuko can be queer without erasing or invalidating his canon attraction to girls, and it's endlessly frustrating that the 'Zuko is gay-coded' crowd refuses to acknowledge that.

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Two of Three

Part 1

Part 3

6. Sexual Awakenings part 1: Love, Obsession, & Size Differences

[Insert that post talking about the creators making sure that Daniel’s antagonists were much bigger than him so that the audience would sympathise, spawning 10000 size kink fics]

I’m sure this won’t awaken anything in Daniel

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures

The hallmark of feminine fairytales tends to be growing into womanhood, with all those symbolic sexual under/overtones, searching for a prince, encountering monsters (or evil stepmothers), on the surface tending to be quite passive/reactive, but actually being about young girls and women getting out of their environment and choosing to tussle with those deep, dark desires – monsters. They’ve got to function within the limitations of power that they have – escaping an abusive situation through marriage, chasing forbidden desires under the guise of duress, asking questions about sexuality through things like symbolic plucking (flowers) or consumption (fruit) or pricking (needles), etc.

Daniel isn’t striking out to find his fortune or win a girl or a kingdom Like A Man, he’s not a threat to Silver, who – like Jareth in Labyrinth – is in control for almost the whole of the narrative, he’s not actually able to do much more than react until he makes the decision to stop training, and even then he’s immediately ganged up on and assaulted, needing to be saved by Miyagi while he stands and watches, bloodied and bruised. 

Daniel’s journey in the third movie is to be forced into an impossible situation, seduced by Silver, and then prove that whatever violence Silver did to him isn’t enough to destroy him. It is incredibly similar to Sarah’s in Labyrinth, who by the end declares: “you have no power over me,” and that’s her winning moment. Not strength, not wits, not a direct fight, (although Daniel does fight Barnes and gets beat up again – only winning in in the end by taking him by surprise, unlike in TKK1 or TKK2 where you could argue that he proves himself to be a capable physical opponent to Johnny and Chozen), but by declaring that whatever power was held over her is now void.

Daniel’s narrative isn’t satisfying in the same way, because the dynamic of Silver and Daniel only accidentally emulates this - it’s not an intention on the side of the film-makers.

When Miyagi tells Daniel that he has strong roots, when he tells him not to lose to fear and Daniel wins over Barnes (in an almost fairytale-esque set of events), on paper he’s defeated whatever hold Terry Silver has over him. In the film itself though, Daniel never defeats Silver (which will likely be confirmed once he returns in Season Four). Daniel cannot simply say “you have no power over me,” and see Silver shattered into glass shards. 

The film is a contradiction: It wants to be a masculine sports film, but it exists in the same realm as Goblin Kings seducing young girls with the promise of: “Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.” Unlike Sarah, Daniel doesn’t claim the power that’s been promised to him on his own terms. His subtextually sexual awakening is so corrupted that all he can do is pretend it never happened.

Still, Daniel proves in the film that his strength is not in his fists. It’s in his praying to the bonsai tree that’s healed despite a violent boy brutally tearing it in two.

These looks on Daniel and Silver though?

So why does Silver become obsessed with him? What’s up with all those red outfits (that he doesn’t wear in Cobra Kai)? What does the temptation reveal about Daniel? How does it recontextualise TKK1 and TKK2? Is Daniel bisexual? (yes).

Ah, beach-Daniel, in your red hoodie and your cut-off jorts. Iconic hot-girl summer vibes. 

If you didn’t want me over-analysing this, you shouldn’t have put him in so many red outfits and then have this man leering at him like he wants to eat him alive.

Surface-level it’s not hard to read into a Dude Story: Masculine power fantasies are about strength in a very direct way. Fighting, control, suaveness – and if you’re not the most traditionally masculine of guys, asserting dominance through being a good lover or intelligent or overcoming that unmanliness in some way through beating the bully or convincing the hot girl to go out with you, levelling up in coolness. Being A Man. It’s not too dissimilar from Daniel’s arc in the first movie, if you watch it without taking later events into account, although Daniel is never interested in proving himself as a man, and more in making Miyagi proud. Still, he does win and gain respect, and arguably “get the girl,” although Ali’s interest in him was never dependent on the fight.

7. Sexual Awakenings Part 2: Sexual Assault, Liberation, and Queerness

Feminine power fantasies are often about sex. Metaphorically. More accurately it’s “owning sexuality.” Even more accurately: “Freedom.” They also inhabit a fluid space in which empowerment through monstrous desires and non-consent can happen at the same time. And on top of that, many of these “fantasies” are actually being written by men, so whose fantasy is it really? A lot of them are based in oral traditions so presumably they were originally from the mouths of women, even if modern iterations (starting with Grimm’s collections) are filtered through cis men’s perspectives.

All of that being acknowledged: In Angela Carter’s “The Company Of Wolves,” Red Riding Hood unambiguously sleeps with the wolf. Belle discovers her freedom from expectations and unsuitable suitors (and in some versions, evil stepsisters) by falling in love with a Beast (the original novel was written by a woman, the 18th century Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve). Jareth informs Sarah of his obsessive devotion to her in Labyrinth. To lean into horror for a moment – Buffy is stalked and eventually has relationships with both Angel and Spike, Lucy in Coppola’s Dracula (which I have mixed feelings about) is raped by the werewolf and Mina is stalked by Dracula, The Creature Of The Black Lagoon kidnaps Kay (the lead’s girlfriend) – subverted in both The Shape Of Water in which Eliza forms a consensual relationship with the amphibious sea-god and in the short-lived horror series Swamp Thing, in which the connection is purposefully framed as seductive…

and in The Karate Kid Part Three Daniel LaRusso punches a board until his hands bleed because an attractive, older man tells him to and in this moment he gives in to what he (thinks he) wants.

Not all of those examples are equal. Some are consensual, some are hinted as abusive and/or stalkery, all of them have large age gaps, and a few are outright non-consensual.

But they’re all fantasies.

They’re all power-fantasies.

Except for Daniel, because he’s a man and the idea that being obsessed (lusted) over by an older man who keeps you in his thrall, specifically because you tickle his fancy for whatever reason, because you’re beautiful, breakable, different – could in any way be considered empowering is a difficult concept to wrap your head around. It doesn’t contain that “but I’m a good girl, I’d never go off the path and pluck flowers if a bad wolf told me to, honest,” societal context or the social context of rape culture. It’s closest comparison is closeted (perhaps even unknown until that point) queer identity.

There have recently been some comparisons of Daniel LaRusso to Bruce Bechdel in Funhome (and everyone who says that Ralph Macchio ought to play him in the upcoming movie: you’re right and I’m just not going to enjoy it as much without him). I’ve written a post about Sam being the heir to his legacy and trauma, specifically as a queercoded man. It’s not dissimilar to the plot of Funhome in a lot of ways.

The other interesting source that’s been going around in connection with Daniel is the essay “The Rape of James Bond,” which discusses the use of sexual assault as a plot device for women and not for men: “About one in every 33 men [in the US] is raped. … [your statistically average, real life man] … doesn’t have a horde of enemies explicitly dedicated to destroying him. He doesn’t routinely get abducted, and tied up. Facing a megalomaniac psychopath gloating over causing him pain […] is not the average man’s average day at the office.” That last bit is just a descriptor of Terry Silver, (although I take issue at the blasé use of psychopath).

The two part youtube essay  Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs posits that there is nothing more de-masculinising than the threat of sexual assault and therefore any narrative that features this “rightfully” must mock any man who has been a victim or who fears being a victim of sexual assault. It is feminising. There is nothing more humiliating – and therefore unheroic – than a man dealing with sexual assault.

So what do we feel when we see an attractive young man being put into a vulnerable position by an older man? A trope associated with female characters, a trope that is considered unpalatable for men (see reactions that happened when the hint of sexual assault was introduced in Skyfall).

Was it the fact that he was being threatened, or the fact that James’ next line is: “what makes you think this is my first time?”

Some thoughts added by @mimsyaf​ are around the idea of safety in how a lot of cis women might relate to this narrative through Daniel’s eyes. He’s not a woman, he has – societally – more power than a girl or woman would have, which makes this a different watch to, say, if Danielle were to go through the same narrative. Daniel doesn’t carry that baggage of rape culture, or of the male gaze that you might find in a similar scenario of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Christine in Phantom of the Opera (and once more the age differences between these characters and the men who love/lust over them are substantial), which makes the narrative “safer” to engage with.

I agree with that, although as a transmasc person I also come at it differently. I specifically like to headcanon Daniel as a trans guy and find his fraught interactions with masculinity through his own non-toxic lens relatable, as well as the way other boys and men react to it – also I think Terry Silver is hot. I know there are people who write Terry Silver with female OCs, which is also a form of empowerment.

On the flipside putting Daniel in this space runs a risk of fetishising him as a queer youth who is either Innocent and Pure, or a bisexual stereotype that deserves to be assaulted for not being a real man. After all, Real Straight Men don’t run the risk of sexual assault.

 Alas, the road to empowerment never did run smooth. 

The comparisons between the way Daniel is treated by the text and how female characters are often treated in texts are undoubtedly there. Through Ralph Macchio and TIG’s casting and the direction and acting, but also within the text itself. 

It might not be with the same purpose as Neo’s symbolically trans journey, but it puts the whole narrative that Daniel’s going through from TKK1 under a different light than if there had only been one movie that ended on a triumphant sports win and a girlfriend.

Johnny’s masculinity and the use of tears as liberation, now that’s a whole other analysis….

[aethersea]

How do you think an Untamed Queen's Thief AU would turn out? Like, from a conceptual standpoint how would that play out?

Anon, this ask has haunted and tormented me lo, these many ages. Again and again I have returned to it, picking and pulling at the question, and it never comes out clean. I assume this ask was prompted by my tags on a long-ago post, where I noted that both protagonists are prone to whining loudly about minor things to distract from their actual deep-seated anxieties and/or stab wounds, and both are prone to seeing themselves as only really valuable to their loved ones as particularly clever tools. And it’s true, Gen and Wei Wuxian are just awfully similar in that respect, but nothing else fits.

Because look, here is my fundamental dilemma: Wei Wuxian loses everyone he loves, one by one, to war and political dissolution and betrayals both real and perceived, until at last he dies alone, unable to protect or even avenge anyone at all. And then he comes back to life for a romcom murder mystery. Eugenides scoops up a bunch of politically useful people from all backgrounds, bends their loyalty to his aims, and gives them the space and safety they need to heal from their varied traumas and become a strange sort of family. (Costis didn’t really have traumas before meeting Gen, but other than that the point stands.)

One is a story about failure, loss, and grief. One is a story about hope, triumph, and healing.

Plus, one features the dissolution of a previously stable political system into a tense, unsteady truce; the other is about uniting a tense, unsteady truce into a stable political alliance. Thematically and worldbuilding-wise, these stories are following basically opposite arcs.

I have ranted about this in the shower many, many times now.

So, now that I’ve presented my excuses, here’s what I’ve got! I can’t put together a cohesive au that holds water, but please enjoy these Vibes.

————

“If I could just…talk to her.”

It was a stupid thing to say and Wei Wuxian knew it. He winced as the words left his lips, but Jiang Yanli was kind enough to stay silent. He was sprawled out on his back beside her lotus throne, one knee bent, one arm flung over his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the mingled pity and horror on her face. He would never have dared, while Madam Yu was still alive – he’d barely had the courage to sit in the throne room, even when it was expected of him, much less lie down. But it had been eight bloody, exhausting months since she and the sect leader were killed, and Wei Wuxian had finally seen enough battle that Madam Yu’s phantom disapproval was no more than a prickling discomfort. He ignored it, as he ignored so many other pains, to lie at his sister’s feet.

“She’s not a monster,” Wei Wuxian said. His voice was somewhere between pleading and surrender. “You remember, shijie, how she took us in? She could have turned us over to her uncle – she had a duty to. And she risked her brother’s life, keeping us secret.”

“Her own life, too,” Jiang Yanli added. There was no inflection in her voice.

“She cares a lot less about that.” Wei Wuxian knew this, implacably; it was why he and Wen Qing had understood each other so well. They both had siblings to protect.

Jiang Yanli hummed noncommittally. It did not occur to Wei Wuxian that she, too, was a sister with siblings to protect.

“She’s not a monster,” Wei Wuxian repeated. “It was her family who threw her into the Burial Mounds, it wasn’t her choice. She’s not surrounding herself with ghosts and fierce corpses for fun. If we stopped attacking her, if we sent someone in to negotiate, I bet she’d even help us defeat Wen Ruohan.”

“She could help us anyway, if she chose to.” Jiang Yanli was trying to sound impartial, but it wasn’t working. She knew where this conversation was going, and it was all she could do not to grab Wei Wuxian by the collar and scream in his face that he must never leave Lotus Pier, never leave Jiang Cheng, never leave her. That he’d sworn an oath, that he had a duty. That if he was so eager to die, she could save him the effort and drown him in the lake herself. That she loved him.

She might have let herself do it, if she’d thought for a moment it would work. Instead she clasped her hands in her lap, loosely, and watched them tremble. It was not a weakness she normally allowed herself, but she was alone now. Even Wei Wuxian wasn’t looking at her.

“We killed her brother,” Wei Wuxian said. His voice was hollow. “Well, the Jin did, but they’re still our allies. And we’ve done nothing since then but attack her. She’s not going to trust us unless we give her a reason to.”

“So you want me to send you.” Wei Wuxian didn’t answer, but she knew the tenor of his silences by now. Her own voice was smooth, smooth as the lakes of Yunmeng on a summer day, with just as many choking weeds beneath the surface to drown her. Her hands shook and shook. “You want me to send you, and when your corpse leads the next raiding party from the Burial Mounds, you want me to send Jiang Cheng to cut your rotted head from your shoulders.”

Wei Wuxian twisted around to look at her, and the look on his face broke her heart. “She won’t kill me,” he said softly. “I promise. She’s not a monster.”

[gusu-emilu]

miscellaneous MDZS/CQL fic recs (AO3)

broken into sections: Character Study (-esque), Wangxian, Jiang Cheng ships, Yi City (or Yi City-adjacent), Humor/Crack, and Other

Character Study (-esque)

Wei Wuxian

my eyes got used to the darkness by @curiosity-killed (M, Sunshot Campaign era, 4.4k): The funny thing, the thing that makes his lips curl in a grin and his hands shake with laughter, is that all these cultivators with their lofty principles and noble ambitions can’t even notice the ghost among them. Sure, they shiver at his presence and flinch from his cold hands, but not one of them puts it together. Lan Wangji chases him with healing music and Nie Mingjue frowns solemnly at his dancing corpses—and he laughs and laughs and laughs because they just don’t get it. Emilu's commentary: CW for mild body horror.

Jiang Cheng

in our respective ways by @veliseraptor (T, Sunshot Campaign era, 5.7k): Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.

You Know I've Fallen, but I Know How High by villainais (M, Post-WWX's death, 2.7k): Jiang Cheng loses both of his siblings in Nightless City. Minutes apart. He trudges home to Yunmeng with one body, holds a private funeral with a single coffin, and allows himself to wear his mourning robes for ten days—permits himself not a single day more. He is still too young and inexperienced, an unfledged boy to the cultivation world, and he is rebuilding Lotus Pier on his own. He will not gift the other sect leaders the satisfaction of seeing him vulnerable. Propriety be damned. Hanguang-jun emerges from his seclusion wearing white. He does not stop.

Nie Huaisang

it deepens like a coastal shelf by @wolffyluna (M, Post-WWX's death, 21.6k): When Nie Huaisang meets Mo Xuanyu, he realises two things quickly. One, this kid is so doomed. Two, this kid would be a great unwitting spy in his plans to bring down Jin Guangyao. It would be so easy to get into Mo Xuanyu's confidences, and so easy to get him to tell him anything he needs. ...only thing is, that wouldn't be very good for Mo Xuanyu's life expectancy. But he'll do it anyway, if it helps him avenge his brother. A fic about man handing on misery to man, the parallels and cycles in the relationships between Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu, and the lengths these characters will go to meet their goals and if there are lines they won't cross.

Lan Xichen

an old man in dried mouths by @tenacious-minds (T, Post-Canon, 3.3k): Xichen thinks. The tea had always stained the crockery red. Emilu's commentary: Lan Xichen and Jin Ling talk about Jin Guangyao.

can you be a quiet man? by @basket-of-loquats (Unrated, Post-Canon, 70.7k+) But something inside him snapped at Guanyin Temple-- and Lan Wangji watched it happen, saw the exact moment that Lan Xichen went from broken to shattered, when he buried his sword into Jin Guangyao’s chest, when his sworn brother stared up at him with wide eyes, blood dripping from his mouth, when he pulled himself closer and closer and closer-- When he whispered "Why don’t you die with me?", and Lan Xichen hadn’t argued. Emilu's commentary: Lan Xichen / therapy with a side of Wangxian.

Wen Ning

breathless (but i'll pretend to breathe for you) by swordsainted (T, Burial Mounds Settlement era, 4.1k): Wei Wuxian is silent for a long minute, and then he looks at Wen Ning, something raw and open and hurting behind his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says again, softer this time, and Wen Ning shakes his head, still smiling. “You’ve protected everyone. How could I hate you for that?”

Mo Xuanyu

stand at the pit's mouth by @eldritch-elrics (M, MXY's death, 9.3k): The dreams and regrets of a man on the edge of oblivion. Emilu's commentary: Surrealist/absurdist screenplay.

Wangxian

I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett (T, Immortality Post-Canon, 10.4k): During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair. “Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.” “I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.” “And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.” Emilu's commentary: Lan Wangji meets Wei Wuxian centuries later and does not remember the past. There is also an excellent podfic by @forgotten-envies

Look Not With The Eyes by Spodumene (G, Post-Canon, 28.1k): Wei Wuxian returns from his travels to join Lan Wangji on a routine night hunt, but when things take an unexpected turn, Wei Wuxian will have to fight for what he's really looking for. Emilu's commentary: Case fic.

All In A Good Time by bigboobedcanuck (E, Post-Canon, 8k): Lan Zhan is struck by a curse that brings him intense physical pain unless he's being touched. He is stoic and tries to hide his suffering. Wei Wuxian is worried and protective. Perhaps they will finally admit their feelings?

Across a Lake of Glass by Zizzani (E, Figure Skating AU, 92.2k+): Each year, Gusu Skating Club runs a camp for only the most elite athletes of each region. This year brings a new skater from the Yunmeng Club who wears skates lined with red and a smile made for war. He skates like a demon. Figure skating au featuring lots of healthy rivalry, pre and post-competition bonding, and an inexplicable fall from grace through the eyes of the media.

Jiang Cheng Ships

Chengqing

display my heart for you to see by @souridealist (M, Post-Canon Wen Qing Lives AU, 5.5k): Jiang Cheng has his own secrets. Some of them are part of the unburied past; some of them are about how long it's been since anyone has touched him.

while I'm in this body by @souridealist (E, Post-Lotus Pier Massacre, 3.9k): For just a few minutes, alone in her office, Wen Qing allows her self-control to slip enough to cry. It's just her luck that that's when Jiang Cheng comes looking for her. Emilu's commentary: Femdom.

Chengning

it may be that it doesn't matter by @wildehacked (T, Post-Canon, 6.6k) “Are you crying?” Jiang Wanyin asks him, and Wen Ning frowns. Pats his cheek with one hand. “No.” Emilu's commentary: Holy Grail of Chengning.

Whatever It Is by morau (E, Post-Canon, 20.5k): It starts, as with a lot of things, with a very poorly thought out prank, courtesy of Wei Wuxian. Emilu's commentary: A LOT of sex and even more emotions lol

won't run away (we're here to stay) by @qi-ling (T, Post-Canon, 3.5k): "Please don't feel any pressure to accept this, and you can take as much time as you need to think about it." It's a set of robes, in shades of deep purple, complete with leather bracers. Cut in a different style than that of the disciples or household staff, closer to the understated robes Wen Ning typically wears. He reaches out to feel the fabric. His deadened nerves can't sense delicate textures well, but even he can tell it's of a quality on par to Wanyin's own wardrobe. This is startling enough coming from Jiang Wanyin, but then Wen Ning notices the belt. In particular, the silver bell in the shape of a lotus affixed to it. Only recognized members of the Jiang sect may wear the clarity bell. Or, Jiang Cheng has an invitation for Wen Ning.

Zhancheng

By Proxy by @veliseraptor (E, Post-WWX's death, 12k): Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places. Emilu's commentary: Hate sex that made me cry

Yi City (or Yi City-adjacent)

Songxuexiao

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It by @silvysartfulness (M, Post-Yi City arc Canon Divergence, 123k+): One of the most complex spells of demonic cultivation the world has seen is brought to fruition, and Xiao Xingchen draws his first shaking breaths in over seven years. This, it turns out, is only the start of his problems. Emilu's commentary: Pretty sure everyone already knows about Silvy's happy songxuexiao road trip fic but it has to be here.

Xue Yang & Lan Xichen

Hours On Empty series by @lady-of-the-lotus (M to E, Post-Canon, 57.8k+): AU where Wei Wuxian never came to Yi City and Xue Yang is still running around post-canon disguised as Xiao Xingchen. "Fractured Ice" - Xue Yang whisks a nihilistic Lan Xichen off on a murder roadtrip to raise Xiao Xingchen and Meng Yao from the grave. Because that will solve all of their problems, right? "Control" - "Fractured Ice" retold from Xue Yang's pov. "A Thousand Miles In Its Light" - Alternate ending to "Fractured Ice" and "Control"

Songxiao with Xuexiao Flashbacks

Nothing Beside Remains by @eldritch-elrics (T, Post-Yi City arc Canon Divergence, 21.9k): And Xiao Xingchen is dressed in dark clothing that is not his, and his sight is all of a sudden sharp in a way that it has never been before, and Xue Yang is not here. “He wouldn’t,” he breathes. “No, he wouldn’t do that. He’s too—” “He’s too what?” Wei Wuxian steps a foot closer, face hard-set. “Too cruel? Or too kind?” Or: Xue Yang uses the Sacrifice Summon on Xiao Xingchen. Xiao Xingchen lives with the consequences.

Humor/Crack

The Hangover: A pre-wedding Dramedy series by natcat5 (M, Modern AU, 51.6k): It is not a bachelor party. That was made clear on all the invitations. It is a congratulatory get together for Jin Zixuan, attended by his family, the family of the bride, and the young masters of the other two families in their circle. The gathering is not to go later than midnight, everyone must drink in moderation, and no one is allowed to be hungover tomorrow. Wei Wuxian had promised Yanli, three fingers in the air. Jiang Cheng had rolled his eyes, but promised as well. Saturday morning, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng wake up alone in a hotel room, missing shoes, phones, and almost all their memories of what in the world happened last night. Also missing: Wei Wuxian, brother of the bride, Lan Wangji, esteemed guest, Lan Xichen, esteemed guest, Jin Zixun, cousin of the groom, Jin Guangyao, brother and best-man, Jin Zixuan, THE GROOM, who is due at his bride-to-be's house in six hours. That's plenty of time to find everyone...right?

Jiang Cheng Loves Jar Jar Bombad Mui by @lady-of-the-lotus (G, Post-Canon, 1.7k) Jar Jar Binks washes up on the shores of Lotus Pier. Can he win the lonely Jiang Cheng's proud heart? Neb neb answer is yesa. Emilu's commentary: There's also a podfic by @aowyn. Yes, with a Jar Jar voice.

Other

Nie Huaisang & Wen Ning

By Name by nirejseki (G, Post-Canon, 1.3k): After the traumatic events in the now-collapsed temple, Wen Ning lingered behind and unexpectedly saw Nie Huaisang, the undisputed victor of an all-around terrible evening, sitting on the steps of the temple, looking exhausted and miserable, as if he’d won nothing at all. Wen Ning found himself drifting over to him.

Jiang Yanli & Nie Mingjue

utility by magicites (G, Arranged Marriage AU, 2.3k): Jiang Yanli and Nie Mingjue's wedding is a political one — a gesture of unity between their Sects. A way for her parents to finally get some use out of the plain-faced sham of a cultivator they call a daughter. “Jiang-guniang,” Nie Mingjue says, and the formality in such a setting as intimate as their wedding chambers startles her, “I don’t wish to bed you. Or any other woman, for that matter. It isn’t fair for you to live alone because of my own preferences.” She rests her hand on his arm, cool relief flooding her body like water on a summer afternoon. “If it helps, I don’t feel desire for men,” she whispers.

Jin Guangyao / Nie Huaisang

Pulling Strings by @eldritch-elrics (E, Post-WWX's death, 5k): Nie Huaisang, quite drunk, turns up at Jin Guangyao’s door one night with an unexpected request. Emilu's commentary: Nie Huaisang knows Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue. This interaction is more symbolic than anything else...