#this has been in my drafts for a solid minute but i just.. i think about york all the time ok

[fischiee]

york being the tucker of pfl makes me go so crazy like how many times do you think tucker said an annoying pickup line that york had already used on her and having her heart just skip and stare blankly at him bc no she is not in love with tucker and never will be but GOD the shrimp colored emotions she feels at hearing his words echoed again

like i really think that’s what actually sealed their friendship bc otherwise they’re so different and don’t quite mesh but tucker’s frustration at himself not being Good Enough™️ and him sounding so much like york really appealed to lina and so she puts up with him

[ninyard]

I was thinking about Aaron; older, his twins almost 10 or 11, and everything is… normal? His daughters get to say my daddy is a doctor or my mommy is a scientist when their teachers in school ask about their jobs. He goes to dance recitals, or little league tournaments, Katelyn bakes little cakes for the school bake sale when she has the time to do so. Most evenings he comes home to a home cooked meal, or he’s happy to hand his wife a hot plate of food when she’s finished a long shift. They have a mortgage, and bills, and insurance and a college fund for the girls - they wave to the neighbours when they pass them in the mornings, or have a beer on each others porches in the evenings. They have to water their grass. They help their kids with their homework. He’s been to therapy. He sleeps at night. He wakes up in the morning. They’re a family, and they work, and everything is normal.

One day their youngest by four minutes is having a shower in their main bathroom. He should’ve fixed the lock when he said he would. Katelyn is at work, she should be home soon - he’s in the kitchen, the radio is on behind him, the extractor fan is loud. He doesn’t pay attention to the first round of banging, leaning over the check that there was nobody knocking on their front door, and then he hears it again. Three, four solid knocks of fist on wood from the upstairs bathroom. The older of the two meets him on the stairs just in time for him to hear his youngest calling out, “dad!”

“The lock is jammed!” she yells, and Aaron tries it from the outside. Nothing - no movement, no give.

“Stand back,” Aaron says through the door. “Don’t be scared, just stand back in the tub.”

When he’s certain she’s retreated, he tries it with his shoulder first - nothing. Again with his shoulder, a hard, forceful whack - there’s a little bit of movement, but still not enough. He’s taken a step back before he’s realised what he’s doing, and aims his foot for just below the door knob. The second his heel meets splintering plywood, he hears it. The thumping against a wall, or maybe it’s just the pounding heart in his chest. As the door swings open he feels the racquet in his hands, the blood on his face, the hands in his hair.

This has been in my drafts for so long that I’ve lost where I was going with it but something something Aaron accidentally being triggered by/around his kids and having to deal with that, knowing he’s scaring them, knowing they don’t know whats happening. Aaron feeling so far away from his past but being transported back in an instant.

[roosterr]

love you from afar

note: this has been in my drafts since MARCH. can't decide whether i like it or not lol. @wetsocksinbed angsty fic is up next >:)

pairing: john 'soap' mactavish x gn!reader

wc: 9.5k (oops)

summary: you receive a series of mysterious gifts from a mysterious admirer.

warnings: longing, yearning, pining, best friends to lovers trope, idiots in love, heavy on the idiots part, tooth-rotting fluff

ao3

over the last two weeks, you’ve noticed some odd things happening around you; a good kind of odd, the kind that left you thoroughly confused, but was heartwarming nonetheless.

after going back and forth with it in your mind, you've come to the conclusion that you have a secret admirer. it was odd, and a little hard to believe, but it was the only option that made any sense to you. in all honesty, it was probably just your hopeless-romantic heart clouding your mind with optimism, but one can dream.

the first incident was harmless enough, a small inconspicuous gesture that was so subtle, in fact, that you barely paid it any notice at first.

it was the dead of night, and you’d just returned from a particularly gruelling solo mission, uninjured but bone tired and desperate to collapse into your bed and finally sleep. before you could fall into the blankets, however, you noticed through the darkness of your room something strange.

resting neatly on your pillow, illuminated by the dim light of your phone screen, was a single bar of your favourite chocolate. you didn’t remember buying it, and certainly didn’t remember leaving it there, but it was exactly the kind of pick-me-up you needed after the day you’d had. at the time, you’d chalked it up to you simply being forgetful, devoured the chocolate in record time, and promptly knocked out.

over breakfast the next morning, you'd recounted to the others the mysterious appearing chocolate as a funny anecdote; the five of you had laughed about your terrible memory, and you'd moved on. but now you weren’t on the verge of blacking out, you couldn’t help but think of it as weird.

for the life of you, you couldn’t remember buying the chocolate bar, and it didn’t make sense that you would leave it on your pillow like that. what did make sense, however bizarre it may seem, was someone else leaving it for you – but you had no idea who would do that for you, or why. either way, you didn't imagine that anything else would come from it.

the next incident happened three days later.

during training that afternoon, you were in the middle of running laps around base, when you’d – stupidly – tripped over a ditch in the ground and rolled your ankle pretty badly. it hurt too much to put any weight on it, so you’d sat there in shame with no choice but to wait for a few minutes until gaz and soap caught up to you.

as they rounded the corner, you'd reluctantly waved them over with a grimace at how your ankle was throbbing in your boot. johnny was immediately crouching by your side, abandoning the idea of training to focus completely on you.

"christ, what happened?" he fussed, worry creasing his face and making your own heat up under the attention.

"i tripped…" you mumbled, dragging a hand over your embarrassed expression. it was bad enough that you'd made such a simple mistake, but now the man you were crushing on, hard, was lifting your leg so gently and untying your laces and you were certain you were moments away from cardiac arrest.

he'd ushered gaz away to continue his run, telling him he'd accompany you to the infirmary with a tone that left no room for argument. not that gaz would've, the knowing look he sent you as he jogged away told you he knew exactly what you were thinking.

after making sure nothing was broken, soap had pulled you to stand with an arm around your waist, supporting you with his solid frame when you stumbled. 

"sure y'don't want me to carry you?" he'd teased, earning a laugh from you as you wobbled in his arms. as you chuckled though, you noticed a hint of what seemed like sincerity in his eyes. you'd felt your face burning again at the implication that he really would carry you, if that's what you'd wanted, and quickly started dragging him along with you in an attempt to hide your flustered state. 

he'd kept his arm around your waist the entire way to the medical wing, only releasing you when you were sat in front of the doctor, which did absolutely nothing to calm your racing heart. to your dismay, he couldn't stay with you – you were still in the middle of training, after all. 

"you sure you'll be alright by yourself?" he'd asked as he left, and the concern in his eyes almost finished you off. you were almost glad he didn't stick around to see the effect he had on you.

luckily, after a quick inspection, the doctor concluded that you only had a minor sprain, and you'd be good as new in a couple of weeks. she'd sent you on your way with an ice pack, a crutch, and strict instructions to stay off your feet.

you would've gone back outside to watch the boys (mainly soap) finish the rest of their exercises, but honestly, the embarrassment of what happened had you wanting to curl up with a pillow over your face for the rest of the day; so that's exactly what you found yourself doing.

you must've drifted off to sleep at some point, because once you finally sat up again, the sun had painted the horizon a bright orange, and your stomach had begun to rumble.

as you went to walk out into the hall, you heard the crinkle of plastic under your boot, pausing you mid‐step. when you looked down, you were stunned to find a bundle of three beautiful white flowers – gardenias, you'd found out after googling them later. an incredibly warm feeling blossomed in your chest, and despite your best efforts, your eyes had welled up with tears. you couldn't even think of the last time someone bought you flowers. there was no note attached, meaning you had no way of knowing who had left them for you, which sent your mind back to the chocolate bar from a few days ago.

so i'm not going crazy, you'd thought to yourself, someone really did leave it for me. but still, you had no clue who this mystery gift-giver could be.

you'd carefully picked them up, being mindful of your ankle, and turned back around to put them in your room. there wasn't really anywhere to put them, so you just set them on the ledge of your windowsill and made a mental note to find a vase for them at some point.

when you eventually made it to the mess hall, there were very few people left, leaving the room unusually calm. ghost was sat by himself at one of the far tables, so you hobbled over on your crutch to sit with him while you ate.

you sat down opposite him, and he'd looked up, gave you a subtle nod, and gone back to eating with his eyes fixed on the table in front of him. the two of you ate like that for a while, sitting quietly in each others presence.

ghost had been the first to break the silence, asking you, "how's the ankle?" as he pulled his balaclava back down to cover his mouth.

"just sprained," you'd replied, looking up to meet his eyes. another beat of silence fell over you, before you continued, "did you see who left me those flowers?" you'd asked him; it was worth a shot, you figured not much gets past ghost. to your dismay, he simply shook his head, standing and mumbling a goodbye as he left.

you were only more confused now. if ghost didn't know who it was – and, granted, you wouldn't actually be able to tell if he was lying, but you trusted him – then who would know? the next day, you'd asked the other boys, but they'd all said the same thing, even the captain. so you were left with nothing to do but wonder who on earth could be leaving you these gifts.

after that, it was another four days until your secret admirer struck again.

you'd been in and out of briefings and debriefings and meetings all day, your mind was beginning to numb with all the information that had been unloaded. you were tired; not quite the same exhaustion you'd felt coming back from your mission earlier in the week, though, this time you were at the end of your rope mentally. there hadn't been a moments peace since you got out of bed, and once that excruciatingly long day was over and you were relaxing in the common room, you'd had no energy to actually engage with your friends.

you were nestled into one end of the sofa with gaz next to you, ghost on his other side, and soap in the armchair with a small book in his hands. they were all chatting, with you occasionally saying a thing or two, but you were mostly just zoned out with their conversation serving as white noise in the background.

occasionally, you'd look up and catch soap already watching you, but he'd quickly turn his gaze back down to his book. his attention caused you to be equal parts flustered and confused. if you'd been any more awake, you probably would've asked him if something was wrong, but you were already having trouble keeping your head up as it was.

once you felt your eyes slip closed one too many times, you'd decided it was time to turn in for the night. with a quick 'goodnight' to the others, you'd made a beeline straight for your room – but it was more of a hobble, since your ankle still required you to walk with a crutch.

that night you'd slept like a baby, waking up early the next morning feeling well rested, and thankfully your ankle had even started to feel better. though you still couldn't join the team's training sessions, you had other responsibilities to fulfil, so unfortinately you did have to get up at some point.

you'd just finished lacing up your boots when you noticed it; a single sheet of paper on the ground by your door, folded once in half so you can't see what's written on it. from where it lays, you conclude that whoever left it must've slipped it through the gap under your door while you slept. you'd picked it up and sat back on the edge of your bed to unfold it, your curiosity certainly piqued. it make you wonder, though, what reason someone could have for leaving you a note.

except, when you'd lifted the page it wasn't a note at all. on the slightly wrinkled paper were a number of beautiful pencil drawings – drawings of you. the surprise of seeing your own face staring back at you nearly stopped your poor heart.

the jagged edge on one side of the page indicated that it must have been torn out of a sketchbook, which had interested you even more. you couldn't think of anyone you knew who could draw, let alone who would have a sketchbook dedicated to it.

whoever made this, it was clear that art was a passion of theirs – these drawings were really good. your hair, your eyes, the subtle expression on your features, every line was expertly crafted. it was incredibly flattering, and admittedly boosted your ego a little with how good those sketches made you look.

as you sat there smiling to yourself, you'd glanced up to the three flowers blooming on your nightstand. like the gardenias, the drawings were from your secret admirer, there was no other explanation; and an admirer they were, it was abundantly clear from these sketches that this person had an appreciation for you, if only from afar.

the drawings had been your favourite so far, but unfortunately, it was almost a week until your admirer made another move.

it had been long enough for you to start walking properly on your ankle again, and so you'd been slowly easing back into your workout routine, starting with your morning run. you'd taken it slow with lots of breaks to rest your muscles, but still decided to call it early, which had you back at your locker earlier than usual. as you were rounding the corner to the locker room, you'd heard the door slam closed and a set of heavy footsteps racing down the corridor. you'd only caught a glimpse of whoever it was as they dashed around the other corner, quick enough that you weren't able to see who it was.

you'd been concerned at first, whoever it was had been in a terrible rush, but you'd quickly shaken it off – it wasn't uncommon for people to be rushing around base, especially first thing in the morning. with your own meeting to get to, you'd decided not to dwell on the strange almost-encounter, and carried on with grabbing your towel from the bench and showering.

as you opened the door to your locker to fetch your clean clothes, sitting front and centre on top of them was something you definitely hadn't left there; a bag of your favourite hard candy, unopened, in the space that had been empty not half an hour before. how did these get here? you'd asked yourself, and you stood there confused for a moment or two before the answer came to you.

of course, your secret admirer. you'd felt the familiar giddy excitement bubble up in your chest at the revelation. it had been a while since the page of drawings had been slipped under your door, and it pained you how the gardenias had begun to wilt already. honestly, you'd been slightly worried that they'd given up, or something had happened to them. thankfully though, they seemed to be doing just fine, and you were too with such a pleasant start to your day.

it wasn't until you were sat in the meeting room, munching on your sweets and waiting for the others to arrive, that you realised.

the person, the one who'd been in a hurry as you got back from your run, it was them; that person was your secret admirer. they had to be, you'd concluded, the sweets weren't in your locker when you'd been in there earlier, and you did cut your run short, so they probably hadn't expected you to return so soon – that's why they'd been in such a rush to get away.

the revelation had butterflies swarming in your stomach, the idea of being so close to finding out who it was that held such fond affection for you sparking giddy excitement in you; but at the same time, it filled you with a sickly apprehension.

the problem was that you already knew who you wanted it to be – you had from the beginning – and you worried that uncovering their identity would only lead to disappointment; because there was no possible way john mactavish could feel the same way you felt about him.

soap had always been nothing short of kind and respectful of you, never stepping over the unspoken line if being your closest friend. sometimes, you can fool yourself into thinking he treats you differently – when he checks in on you after missions, when he always saves you a seat next to him in meetings, when he'd practically carried you to the infirmary, all of it ignited a warm feeling in your chest. but then you think about it a little more, and remember that all those nice gestures, that's just who he is. he wormed his way into the heart of ghost, for fucks sake, it was almost impossible not to like him.

you'd been so lost in thought, that gaz sitting in the seat next to you had startled you back to reality.

"gonna share with the class?" he'd asked with a teasing smirk, gesturing to the sweets sitting on the table in front of you. he'd reached out to grab one, but you'd pushed his hand away and snatched the bag to your chest.

"no way," you'd said with a playful glare, sending a quick smile to soap who'd taken the seat on your other side, "these are from my secret admirer, get your own."

gaz paused. "...your fucking what?" he had an incredulous look on his face, and you'd forgotten that you never actually told the others about it. "soap, you hearin' this?"

soap looked almost panicked when you'd turned to him, but he didn't have time to respond, as that was the moment price had walked through the door and announced the start of the meeting.

"i'll explain after," you whispered to gaz, who gave you a pointed look that said 'you better' and turned his attention back to price. you'd stifled a chuckle and looked back at soap, expecting him to have a similar expression, but he was already facing forward. you'd frowned at this; you and johnny would always whisper back and forth during meetings – a way to keep eachother entertained, as well as an excuse for you to sit close to him – but today his face had an odd air of seriousness to it. oh well, you'd thought somewhat downtrodden, just have to talk to him after.

and that's what led you to the present, where you'd been explaining to the boys everything that has happened over the last two weeks. well, you were mostly telling soap and gaz, ghost honestly didn't seem that interested, though the captain did have a rather amused expression as he listened.

"so you have no idea who it could be?" gaz had turned sideways in his chair, leaning forward slightly with his eyebrows raised. he looked to be in disbelief, and you were almost inclined to feel the same.

"nope, not a clue." you sighed, turning from gaz to look at the others around the table. price was standing with his arms crossed, giving you a similar disbelieving look, and ghost had that familiar unreadable look in his eyes.

"someone went in your room while you were gone?" ghost's low voice caught your attention, "bit creepy, innit," he grumbled, his gaze darting between you and somewhere next to you. he did have a point, you supposed, it was a bit weird.

"well… maybe a little, yeah…" you trailed off. perhaps he had a point, but you found yourself not wanting to believe it; all of the mystery person's gestures had been so sweet, thoughtful, it was hard to think they had any ill intentions.

that, and your heart has already made up its mind about who it should be.

"don't be like that, lt., whoever it is meant well, didn't they?" gaz chuckled, the grin evident in his voice.

"christ…" ghost mutters, shaking his head in exasperation.

"it may be a slight invasion of privacy…" you begin; and it's true, but after the first incident, it didn't appear that anyone had been inside your room again. "but it was only once. and it was just a chocolate bar, it's harmless. besides, are you really telling me you've never been in anyone's room when they're not there?" you continued, earning only an eye roll from ghost.

"and you haven't tried to figure out who it is?" price asks from his position standing opposite you, across the table.

"no, i wouldn't even know where to start, it could be anyone…" you try to think of anyone to suspect, but your optimistic mind only draws one name; the object of your affection, who happened to be sitting directly next to you. unfortunately, the two of you were strictly friends – no matter how much you longed for something more.

"i think you should investigate," gaz's smile makes you think for a moment that he knows something that you don't, but you brush it off. he didn't even know about your admirer until you told him, how could he? it wasn't like they were leaving any hints. "whoever it is obviously really likes you."

"you think?" you unwrap another sweet and pop it into your mouth as you consider his words.

"yeah! and, we could even help you investigate," gaz gives the others a hopeful, if slightly suspicious, smirk.

"speak for yourself…" ghost leans back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest, the picture of uninterested, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"could be a good bonding exercise," price had the same entertained tone in his voice as he looked between the four of you, "any thoughts, soap?"

you hadn't realised until the captain brought attention to him, but soap had been uncharacteristically quiet during all this; since before the meeting, actually. he hadn't said a word to you yet today, which had you a little worried. usually the two of you couldn't shut up when you were together. you turn to look at him, and find him looking wide-eyed back at price.

"i don't– ah, maybe…" he stuttered, looking between price and the table rather than meeting your concerned eyes, "...they're just shy? don't want to be known yet?"

"oh, y'think, mate?" gaz fully laughed at that, sharing a look with both ghost and price that held something you couldn't understand. now you're thoroughly confused.

"well, maybe he's right," uncertainty laced your voice, their reactions throwing you for a loop. "if they wanted to be known, they probably would've shown themselves by now, right?" you turn to soap, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else – but he meets your gaze with a tiny smile.

"so you're not going to investigate?" you look back at gaz, who has that incredulous look back on his face, and from the corner of your eye you see price and ghost both shake their heads.

"they can show themselves when they're ready, i don't want to push them." your mind was made up; if your secret admirer wanted to reveal their identity, then they would, it's as simple as that.

"but–" gaz tries to argue, but price quickly interrupts him.

"right, enough, you lot, clear out, you've all got work to be getting on with." he gestures for you all to stand, and after grabbing your sweets, you follow the others out of the room.

for the rest of the day, you endured endless amounts of teasing from gaz, and he even got some of the people from other units in on it. it had your face burning when they cooed over how romantic your 'mystery lover' was. you could only pray that they got over it soon, in the back of your mind you were slightly worried the attention might scare off your admirer, and you certainly didn't want that. but although you told the others you'd wait for them to reveal themselves in their own time, you'd be lying if you said you weren't practically dying to know who it was.

✹✹✹

"hey sarge," a voice sounds from beside you, drowning out the din of the mess hall around you. turning your head, you see it's a private; one you don't really know, but you give her a polite smile anyway. "i've got a message for you." she continues, producing a folded piece of paper from behind her back.

"a message? who from?" you ask, taking the paper from her when she holds it out to you.

she giggles, giving you a sly smile, "a secret someone," and with a suspicious wink, she turned around and left.

with the note in your hand, you look to gaz and soap, a baffled expression on your face. "does she mean my… admirer?" they both shrug at you, sharing an equally perplexed look between themselves.

"go on then," gaz says, "what does it say?"

you unfold it, and scan the neat handwriting of the message. soap and gaz watch as you read it, their curiosity overwhelmingly present in the way they leaned forward to try and see.

your face falls, and you frown. the note was signed – 'your secret admirer' – but you couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in your heart.

"what's up? what does it say?" gaz notices the change in your expression, standing up from his chair and leaning fully over the table to read the note himself. you hand it to him, your good mood from this morning completely soured.

"apparently it is from my admirer," you begin, not bothering to hide the dejection in your voice, "telling me to meet them outside in five minutes."

the pair don't say anything, too stunned to form words as they continue to frown at the words in front of them. this can't be right, it just can't be, your mind laments, if johnny is sitting here, that that means he's not–

"seriously? just like that?" gaz interrupts your thoughts. he sounded annoyed underneath his shock, and you find yourself feeling the same way. "sorry, but i find that hard to believe – they didn't even leave a card with the flowers, did they? it just doesn't feel right to me."

you look to soap, who has yet to say anything on the matter. he doesn't meet your eyes, boring holes into the table with the anger in his gaze. your frown only deepens at his expression, the look on his face so unlike him it almost has you forgetting all about the cause.

"who knows," you sigh, plucking the note back out of gaz's hand. "this probably won't take long, i'll–"

"wait, you're going?" soap interjects, the frown on his face set much deeper than your own. his sudden question caught you off guard, paired with his irritated expression, and you almost thought he was angry with you.

"yeah, i mean, what's the harm, right? might as well just get it over with." you stand as you respond, folding the note back up. even if you were setting yourself up for disappointment, you still wanted to at least hear this person out; even if it wasn't him.

"what's the harm?" johnny scoffs – at you or at very idea of all this you aren't sure – and joins you in standing up, throwing his arms out with such annoyance, it catches you off guard. he gestures sharply at the paper in your hand, "this– whoever that is, it's pure shite! you can't see that?"

now it's you who scoffs at him; where is this hostility coming from? yesterday he seemed as though he couldn't care less when you were telling everyone about it, and now all of a sudden, he thinks he has all the answers?

"how would you know?" you shove the note into your pocket, your earlier sadness quickly morphing into annoyance.

as you move to walk away, johnny looks like he wants to say something more, to stop you, and you hesitate. you want him to; whoever your admirer was, whoever that note was from, none of it meant a thing if it wasn't him. all you wanted was for him to look at you the same way you look at him. gaz is looking at him too, subtly gesturing for him to do something, but he doesn't speak, doesn't meet your eyes as your face drops again.

"exactly, you don't. i'll be back in a minute." you huff, and without another word from either of them, you turn on your heel and make your way out of the mess hall.

it's safe to say your mood had swiftly and effectively been ruined. the disillusionment of realising that your secret admirer was someone other than johnny was one thing, but his sudden attitude towards you was the final straw. your face was decidedly sour as you trudge through the corridors, still with a slight limp which was only fuelling your annoyance for how your day was going. 

the cool air of the courtyard makes your skin bristle as you push the door open, taking a moment to survey the area as you stand in the entryway. to the left stands a lone figure, and you recognise his face, but – like the private from earlier, who you assume is his friend – you can't remember ever having spoken to him. with a deep sigh, you blink away bitterness in your expression and make your way over to him.

his grin is wide as he shamelessly checks you out while you approach, and you instinctually cross your arms over your chest. you come to a stop in front of him, frowning in a look that you hope screams uninterested.

"hey, sarge." he has an overly confident air to him as he speaks, shuffling closer under your scrutinising stare. of course he wouldn't take the hint.

"so it's you, then?" you ask, your voice flat and void of any emotion. you just wanted this to be over with, but it seemed luck just wasn't on your side today.

"it's me," he confirms, the blinding grin still plastered to his face as he inches even closer, "you surprised?"

"yeah, actually. i didn't know you were an artist." you reply, voice flat, and you watch him blink once in surprise. you raise a brow at his bewilderment, your patience already wearing painfully thin. he chuckles awkwardly in an attempt to hide how you so obviously caught him off guard.

"ah, yeah i uh–" he stutters, but you cut him off before he can make too much of a fool of himself.

"in fact, i don't actually know you at all. i couldn't recall your name even if you held a gun to my head." the hiss in your voice reveals just how over this whole situation you are. he opens his mouth to spout something else you have no interest in hearing, the sleazy grin falling from his face, but you hold a hand up to silence him. "so i'd really appreciate it if you left me alone."

"but–"

"and stay out of my room, and my locker, too. if it happens again, you're getting reported." you spit the final words at him, and turn on your heel to leave. before you can take another step, he grabs your elbow and spins you back around to face him, causing your ankle to twist awkwardly, which sends a fresh jolt of pain up your leg. you hold back a groan and fix him with a deadly glare instead.

"hey, c'mon, don't be like that!" you wince as he practically demands, getting much closer to you than was necessary, even with you arching backwards to put some space between you. "at least gimme a chance,"

"just leave me alone." you hiss, pulling your arm out of his grip and before he has the chance to do or say anything else, you hurry back the way you came, your limp noticeably more pronounced than earlier. thankfully, the private – jackson, you’d just about been able to read on his jacket – didn’t follow you back to the mess hall, which proves that he has at least half a brain. you hoped that he’d take the hint to stay away from you, but somewhere in the back of your mind you were preparing yourself to be hassled by him in the coming days; he certainly seemed the type.

you were gone less than ten minutes, but in that time most of the lunch crowd had cleared out, leaving the room a lot quieter than it had been. as you shuffle towards soap and gaz, still sitting at the same table, they both turn to look at you, and you can tell by the way both their expressions drop that they sense something is off.

"what happened?" gaz asks as you take your seat across from them, trying to hold back a wince when you put too much strain on your ankle, "your face says it didn't go well."

you sigh, looking between both of them, lingering on soap who’s already watching you with an intensity that has your face heating up. "it didn’t. it was just some private who can’t take no for an answer." you grumble, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand.

"your ankle okay?" soap asks, holding your gaze until you relent and look away first. you want to tell him not to worry, but you find it's impossible to lie to him, not when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the room. "what happened?" he presses, his voice taking on a dangerous tone.

"its nothing, he just– i just twisted it a little." you trip over your words under his stare, looking to gaz for help, but you find that he has a similar – albeit less intense – look of concern on his face. the silence hangs between you for a moment as you wordlessly try to convince them, but they see through you. "alright, fine. when i was leaving, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, and i pulled my ankle."

if johnny had been pissed before, he was furious now; his eyes were dark underneath his furrowed brow, his lips turned down in a frown that looked more like a snarl. to see someone usually so easygoing with such a threatening look on his face was almost worrying, the only reassurance being that you know it's not directed at you.

"that prick… who was it?" gaz isn't nearly as affected as soap, but he's clearly annoyed by the audacity of the private. you shake your head, urging them to just let it go; he wasn't worth the trouble, after all.

when johnny says your name in that deep, gravelly tone, your heart skips a beat and your eyes snap to meet his. "who was it." he asks, but it's not a question anymore, and every fibre of your being is telling you to just give in to him.

"jackson. i don't know his first name…" you mutter, slightly flustered by the way he's acting. the tension in the silence that follows is nearly suffocating. from where his arms rest on the table, you notice johnny repeatedly clenching his fists, seemingly having some sort of internal battle with himself.

"what a bellend…" gaz grumbles, pausing for a moment to shake the disgust from his face. "so, what about the whole 'secret admirer' thing then?" he leans back in his chair, eyes darting to soap's profile then back to you.

"i don't know…" you sigh, "didn't really seem like something he was capable of, but i guess i don't really know him, so–"

"yeah, he doesn't seem the type, does he?" gaz interjects, with a newfound energy at your words. you narrow you eyes, sensing an ulterior motive, but let him continue. "i mean, buying you flowers, sweets– seems a bit too thoughtful for such a twat."

his jab coaxed a laugh from you, "maybe; i guess i was pretty disappointed when i saw it was him, though."

"oh yeah? expecting someone else, were you?" gaz has a grin on his face, one that has you worried that he's clocked on to your true feelings.

"something like that…" you clear your throat, suddenly feeling a little too seen for your liking. "anyway, i'd better get going, desk duty is no joke," you slowly stand up, making sure to be careful of your newly irritated ankle, and adamantly avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"yeah, me too, cap said he needs my help with something." gaz stands as well, giving soap a pat on the back and a suspicious wink as he walks off, which you willfully choose to ignore.

"you gonna be okay?" johnny comes to your side as you shuffle around the table, his hand brushing over your back to support you. butterflies begin to flutter at the feeling, and you scold yourself for being so easily affected. he seems to have calmed down a lot, the anger from earlier overtaken by his concern.

"yeah, i'll be fine, i think i'll just have to grab my crutch," you smile at him and take a step forward, wincing as you shift your weight from one foot to the other.

"c'mon, lemme help you," he tilts his head to meet your eyes, his worry evident within them. his hand is warm on your back, you have to hold yourself back from leaning into him. "cannae have you hurtin' yourself any more."

"you sure? don't you have work to do too?" you have every intention of taking him up on his offer, but you couldn't help feeling guilty for needing his help like this.

"i'm sure lt. can survive a few extra minutes," johnny gives you a reassuring smile, already ushering you out of the mess hall.

"well, don't blame me when has your head," you grin back at him, relishing in the comfortable feeling of being so close to him. distracted by his proximity, you momentarily forget about your injury and without thinking, you put too much weight on it as you take a step. with a pained gasp, you wobble on your good foot and pause to give your ankle a break.

johnny moves his arm to sit securely around your waist, gently pulling you to lean fully against him. "you sure you don't want me to take you to the infirmary?" he asks, lifting your arm to wrap around his shoulders.

"no, no– they're just gonna tell me to rest, and i'll be sitting down all day anyway," you move to continue on your way to your room, but he stays put. 

"you should still get it looked at, might be–"

"johnny." you stop him with a hand on his chest, "i'm okay."

you watch his adams apple bob as he gulps, his eyes flickering to where your hand is touching him and back up to your own, almost too fast to notice.

"right, right. sorry." he dips his head, breaking eye contact. you pull him gently, and the two of you start walking again. "you know jackson well?"

you scoff, frowning as you recall the events of earlier. "what? no, before today i didn't even know his name. he seems like kind of an arsehole, to be honest."

"really? made that bad of an impression, eh?" his lopsided smile feels oddly smug, but you decide not to overthink it.

"like i said, can't take a no." you grumble, pinching the bridge of your nose with your free hand, "i doubt this is the last time i'll have to deal with him…"

"he's not gonna bother you." johnny states, with a finality that is as stunning as it is comforting.

"...if you say so." you don't press any further, wanting to simply move on and forget about the whole thing. you'd gladly never think about that arrogant private again.

before you know it, the two of you are standing in the hall outside your room. his grip around your waist loosens as you push open the door, and you're all too aware of the cold feeling left behind as he lets go.

"thank you, for helping me." you shoot him a grateful smile, grabbing your crutch from where it leant against the wall, propping it under your arm.

"course," johnny pauses, looking past you to something in your room. "you… kept the gardenias?" he asks, his voice quiet, almost disbelieving. you tilt your head, a silent question, but he's still staring at the flowers.

"yeah, they're…" you begin, but his words have you pausing too; he didn't seem like the kind of person to be interested in floristry, you'd certainly never heard him say anything about it before. but somehow, he'd identified the flowers on your end table with no problem. "...they're nice. i like them, even if they do look a little sad now."

when he finally meets your eyes again, there's a distinct redness to his face that wasn't there before, and you feel your heart beginning to race with renewed hope. it could be that he just likes flowers, but if he already knew they were gardenias, maybe he…

"right, i, uh– i should get going, or ghost might actually kill me." johnny's voice had a dazed quality to it when he spoke.

"alright, i'll see you later then," you give him a small smile as you step back into the hall next to him. the two of you look at each other for a moment before you speak again, holding back a laugh, "you gonna go, or just stand there all day?"

your words seem to snap him out of the trance he’d been in, and he shakes his head in an almost comical manner, "right! right, sorry, bye!" he sputters, waving over his shoulder as he jogs away. you chuckle to yourself as he goes, and start walking the opposite direction to get started with your own work.

✹✹✹

you didn't see soap again until the next day, considering that he was strangely absent from mealtimes both last night and today. thankfully the incident from the day before hadn't done any further damage to your ankle, so you were up and about without the need for your crutch after a good night's rest.

you'd just dropped off a folder of paperwork in price's office – which you'd completed in fairly good time, thanks to being stuck behind a desk for nearly two weeks – but as you descend the staircase, you're almost knocked over by someone flying around the corner. you caught yourself with a hand on the railing, blinking away your surprise and glaring at whoever had carelessly bumped into you.

much to your chagrin, it was jackson, and you feel your face naturally falling into a frown at the realisation. you’d been expecting him to try and change your mind about yesterday, but true to johnny’s words, he had yet to bother you about it; actually, you hadn’t seen him at all since then, not even at breakfast or lunch, but it's not as if you were complaining. 

though, as you stare down at him from the step above, you notice a deep purple bruise decorating his cheekbone that definitely wasn’t there yesterday. your frown turns from malice to confusion as you wonder how he could have gotten it in the span of less than a day, it looked like he’d taken a serious punch. you couldn’t say you felt bad for him, but it did look painful.

"listen, about yesterday… i- i lied,." jackson mutters, eyes glued to the floor to avoid your own. he was shuffling in place, as if he was preparing to bolt at any second. your eyes narrow as you process his words.

"what?"

he clears his throat. "i lied. it wasn’t me, i just said it was because one of the guys bet me i couldn’t get you to go out with me." he admits. the way he keeps avoiding your eyes, glancing around like he was waiting for someone to jump out at him has you a little suspicious, but your heart still soars when you realise what he means.

jackson wasn't your secret admirer, so your hopeless romantic heart could still dream that it was johnny. the flutter of butterflies even distracts you from the insulting notion that he only wanted to go out with you for a bet.

"seriously?" you ask, your shock evident in your voice as you stare him down. finally his eyes land on your own, an embarrassed grimace overtaking his nervous expression. it's a stark, satisfying difference to his arrogant overconfidence from before.

"yeah. i’m sorry, okay? i don’t want any trouble, it was just–" he cuts himself off, but when you give him a questioning look, he can't tear his eyes from the space behind you, and only mumbles what sounds like a ‘sorry’ before scurrying off back the way he came. you watch him go, thoroughly confused by the whole interaction, but not a moment later a voice from where he was staring brings you out of your thoughts.

"y’alright? little shit wasn’t botherin’ you, was he?" soap's voice cuts through the quiet, and you turn to see him descending the stairs to stand next to you.

you shake your head, "no, no, he just–" you hesitate, your mind going back to yesterday and the gardenias. "he lied, it wasn't him."

"really?" he asks, but his voice doesn't sound surprised at all. you're not sure if you imagined it, but for a moment his expression changes into something like satisfaction.

"yeah, he was about to say something else too, but he just ran off," you sigh, walking down the last few steps. soap follows close behind, a hand hovering near your back. "did you see that bruise on his face? wonder how he got it…"

"looked nasty, eh?" a laugh escapes him, and you admire the way his lips curve, the creases around his eyes as his smile reaches them. "maybe he finally got what was comin' to him."

his face was close to yours, a lot closer than you could reasonably handle without losing your nerve and making a fool of yourself. realising you had yet to respond, you clear your throat and start walking down the corridor, your eyes to the floor and a burning in your cheeks.

"if he never speaks to me again, it'll still be too soon…" you grumble, willing your heart to calm down as he comes up next to you in a few long strides. "anyway, what have you been up to? i haven't seen you all day." with a quick glance, you see the easy smile he has falter slightly.

"i was, ah–" he avoids your eye as he stops himself, a beat of silence passes before he continues "nevermind, i– i was… looking for you." your heart skips a beat, but you scold it for being so eager; the two of you were teammates, friends, he could be looking for you for any number of reasons.

"looking for me? what's up?" you turn your head to face him as you walk, a curious tilt to your brow.

johnny comes to a stop, and so do you a moment after. he looks at you, fidgety and shifting on his feet, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. the look on his face is unsure, uncomfortable, like he was debating running off like jackson had done a minute ago.

he's nervous, that much you can tell. but despite the slightly awkward tension, you you wait for whatever it is he's struggling to say.

"i… uh– y'know what, i actually forgot." johnny hangs his head, pulling his hands from his pockets and scratching the back of his neck.

at his words your heart sinks, and you can't help the disappointed look that takes over your expression. "oh? are you–"

before you can finish, he drops a hand on your shoulder and steps ahead of you, turning around so you're face to face. "listen, ghost is waiting for me, so i gotta run," he smiles again, but it's weaker this time, almost forced as it doesn't quite meet his eyes.

"right… better not keep him waiting."

"right," his reply is short, and the tension between you only grows every moment he avoids your eyes. "i'll see you later though, promise." he flashes you another false smile, gently patting your shoulder, before turning on his heel and swiftly escaping down the corridor.

"bye, johnny." you release a sigh, from longing or exasperation you're not sure, watching his form disappear through the doors.

✹✹✹

despite his promise, once again you don't see soap for the rest of the day. at dinner you'd questioned ghost on his whereabouts, but he only told you that he had no idea either. this time however, you got the strong feeling he was lying to you.

still though, you couldn't find it within yourself to be annoyed with him. you could see clear as day that something was going on with johnny, and if he didn't want to confide in you about whatever it is, then you certainly won't be the one to push him.

having finished today's obligations, you decided to head straight to your room once you'd finished eating. you open your door, a sigh escaping you as you prepare to collapse for the night, and stop dead in your tracks.

a folded sheet of paper lays in front of you, standing out against the emptiness of your floor, crumpled like it had been screwed up and flattened out again. a sense of déjà vù overcomes you, for last week, when you'd received the sketches of yourself in the same way. for a moment all you can do is stand there, staring at the paper, processing.

eventually, you do step into your room, shutting the door quietly behind you and picking the paper up from the floor. you keep it folded until you're sitting on the edge of your mattress, hands shaking ever so slightly with the anticipation.

you're not sure what to think, as you sit burning holes in the paper with your stare. after yesterday, you thought you were done with the idea of your secret admirer; but then again, jackson had admitted to you earlier that he'd lied when he met you yesterday, and the whole reason you weren't as interested after that was because your pipe dream of the mystery person being johnny had been shattered. but now that the identity of your admirer was once again a mystery, you couldn't help but want to dream like that again. 

with a defeated groan, you decide to just rip off the bandaid and read the note. you unfold it, immediately noticing the scratchy handwriting – the opposite of the note jackson gave you, so thankfully it couldn't be from him.

you hear your heartbeat in your ears as your eyes scan the words in front of you.

i stayed up all night trying to write this note, but nothing i came up with felt good enough, so i'm just going to say it. i'm your secret admirer. i know you probably won't believe me after that bastard yesterday, but i need you to know anyway. i used to think that love just wasn't my thing, that i'd never find someone i wanted to spend my life with, but that changed when i met you. i didn’t realise it at first, but it's always been you. you're my person, and i can't hide it anymore. i love you. maybe i'm a coward for giving you a note instead of telling you face to face. but if you don't feel the same, you can throw it away, or burn it or something, and i'll never bring it up again. your heart, johnny

the silence in your room borders on deafening as you sit completely still, reeling from what you'd just read. you didn't realise you'd stopped breathing until you release a shaky breath.

all this time, it was johnny.

every longing glance, every touch that lingered just a little too long, the racing pulse every time he says your name; it was all reciprocated.

every time you thought you could never have him as anything more than your best friend, you were wrong.

he cared enough to leave you a pick-me-up after a hard mission, buy you flowers when you got injured, draw you the way he saw you, gift you things he took the time to notice you like.

all this time… he'd felt the exact same way you do.

you set the note down next to you, bringing a shaky hand up to cover your mouth that had fallen open in shock. there was only one thing to do, in your mind, and that was to run into johnny's arms and make up for all the lost time you've spent pining over him.

in seemingly no time at all, you find yourself standing at johnny's door, your fist poised to knock. theres a moment of hesitation, but before your apprehension can cloud your mind, you let your knuckles rap on the wood once, twice, three times, and take a step back as you wait for a response. after a second or two – which felt a lot longer than it actually was – you hear the sounds of footsteps from inside.

another moment passes, and you assume johnny is standing on the other side with his heart in his throat just like you, short-lived before he finally swings the door open.

he looks at you, eyes wide and like a deer caught in headlights, the way he holds himself uncharacteristically shy as you stare each other down.

"the note," you finally murmur, and johnny almost flinches, clearly fighting the urge to look away from you. "tell me you meant it." you continue, taking a miniscule step closer to him. you hear his breath catch in his chest.

"every word." he whispers, gaze flickering down to your lips and back up to your eyes again, and your heart misses a beat.

with no hesitation this time, you hook your arms around his neck and pull him towards you, crushing his mouth against yours in a desperate kiss that's as much teeth as it is lips.

johnny groans into your mouth, his hands flying to your waist as he turns and walks you backwards into his room. the door gets kicked shut behind him once he's got you inside, neither of you breaking apart more than enough to draw a single ragged breath before meeting in the middle again. with another needy whine into you he pushes you up against the wall, caging you in with his broad shoulders and his arms around your waist.

the weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his stubble prickly against your face, the softness of his lips against yours; it's everything you've been waiting for, and now you finally have him, he tastes sweeter than you could've ever imagined.

the two of you stay like that for moments that feel like hours in each other's embrace, only pulling away when your lungs are burning and your lips are swollen. leaning your head back against the wall, his eyes meet yours with such adoration it sends your heart fluttering all over again.

"i'll take that as a good sign," he mumbles, a lopsided grin lifting his features. his joy is so infectious you can't help but mirror his expression as you drop your head to rest on his shoulder.

his chest rumbles with an airy, disbelieving laugh and he tugs you impossibly closer, resting his cheek against the side of your head. standing chest to chest now, you can feel the hammering of his heart against yours and the way his skin burns under your touch.

"you’re my person too," you murmur into him, one of your hands moving up to tangle in the strands of his mohawk, "always have been."

johnny's arms wind tighter around you as he releases a deep, content sigh. he's hugged you countless times before but somehow, this feels different while still staying exactly the same. the heat radiating from him is soothing like it always has been, the knowledge that your feelings are reciprocated only making it that much sweeter.

"why'd it take us so long, eh?" he utters, tender and loving in the way he runs his hands over your back and sides.

"we're just idiots…" you reply, "gaz is gonna have a field day with this."

johnny laughs again, pressing his lips to the side of your head so you can feel his smile. "oh, he clocked us a long time ago, bonnie."

you can't help but groan as you imagine how gaz will tease the both of you for how oblivious you've both been.

he lifts you up by his grip around your waist, carrying you over to his bed and flopping down onto his back with you on his chest. a satisfied groan escapes him as he settles, burying his face into your hair and inhaling a deep breath.

you're enveloped by the scent of him – gunpowder, and the faint smell of something burnt, but it's pleasant and familiar nonetheless.

"yer stayin' with me tonight, non negotiable." he murmurs, running a hand up and down the length of your spine.

"fine by me." you tilt your head up to meet his eyes, and find them already locked on you. "so, about jackson…"

johnny scoffs, lightheartedly frowning in response. "yer gonna bring his name up while yer in my bed?"

"he looked really spooked when he saw you earlier," you begin, smoothing your hand over his chest. his eyes widen at your words, his hand freezing as he looks away from you with a distinctly guilty expression on his face. you narrow your eyes, holding back the amused smirk pulling at your lips. "johnny… did you…"

he clears his throat, and by the way he can't hold your gaze for more than a second you can tell he knows he's been caught. there's no stopping the laugh that bubbles up from your chest at his reaction.

"...i may have, uh– potentially put some fear o'god into the little bawbag…"

"soap!"

[terresdebrume]

Work is kinda hectic rn, my knees are NOT liking how much traveling between floors I have to do, and I am missing sleep like crazy so my WIPs are staying largely untouched but I HAD to push out this concept for a maybe-someday fic in the I'm down on my knees universe

Written for the free square day of @painlandweek . Have some hurt/comfort ft Charles and how he feels about his mum. Also belatedly tagging @ghostinthelibrarywrites bc I think you'll enjoy it and I accidentally posted a thing that was meant to stay a draft again xD

Charles is sitting on the doorstep. It's almost eight PM on a weeknight, Edwin is just back from a fun-study session—which is really just Maren's way of saying she wants beer with her textbooks—tired, brain swimming with texts of law, and more than a little tipsy... And Charles Rowland is sitting on his doorstep. His building's doorstep. The difference is irrelevant.

Caught off guard, Edwin blinks, and stares at Charles.

He is curled up on the ground, spine back in that parenthesis shape it had back in school. His elbows are on his knees, hands buried into the hair at the back of his neck, his eyes closed. Edwin takes in the tension in Charles' shoulders, the way the fading sunlight catches the green vines tattooed on his left forearm, the slow, deliberate depth of movement around his ribcage, and decides against calling out to him. Instead, Edwin walks up to him until Charles can no longer ignore the footsteps, and waits for him to speak.

"Hi," Charles says, muffled, from between his elbows.

"Hi," Edwin replies, chest twisting when the last hope he had that Charles was just a bit tired evaporates like rhum from a flambé.

He steps forward again, then ignores the fresh layer of summer dust on the steps and sits down next to Charles, deliberately picking a position that makes their hips and shoulders touch. Charles leans into it immediately, turning a light contact into solid pressure, and Edwin sighs. Things could be worse.

"I did not expect you tonight," Edwin prompts, trying to make himself as gentle as he can.

Tuesday nights are when Charles and Niko's dance classes take place. Edwin has never known either of them to miss one, so Charles' presence here is one more sign that whatever is going on is not to be taken lightly. As if to confirm Edwin's suspicions, Charles sighs, and mumbles:

"I ran into my mum."

Edwin freezes. For some reason, in the few months since he and Charles reunited, it never quite clicked for him that Charles' parents, for all that Charles hasn't had any contact with them for nearly eight years now, exist in the same world they do. London is such a large, dense city, it is easy to make your life in a corner of it and never step outside its boundaries. Edwin's parents certainly treat Kensington like an insular country only worth leaving for the richer shores of Mayfair, when they deign to visit the capital at all. Just like Edwin and Charles existed less than ten minutes away from each other for months without having a clue, the possibility of him running into Mr. or Mrs. Rowland by accident did not even cross Edwin's mind. Nor Charles', from the look of things.

"That must have been a shock," Edwin says.

He does not know enough to infuse more feelings into his response. Charles, for all that he shares his smiles, his affections and the chief of his worldly possessions freely, has remained incredibly tight lipped about his past. The summary of what Edwin knows of Charles' youth is quite easy to make.

Fact the first: at the age of sixteen, not one term into his stay at St. Hilarion's School for Boys, Charles Rowland jumped into a pool full of a deadly allergy trigger to save Edwin's life.

Fact the second: for the remainder of that school year, Charles endeavoured to make Edwin's life as painless as possible. His presence remains, by far, the brightest highlight of Edwin's adolescence.

Fact the third: at the age of seventeen, or near enough, Charles ran away from what he described as a bad home situation exactly once and proceeded never to mention again. It is Edwin's understanding that Charles may have escaped with nothing but the clothes on his back that day.

Two of those facts, Edwin knows because he was a direct witness to them, and the third was only shared with him because he accidentally made it an implicit condition to renewing his acquaintance with Charles.

Charles Rowland is not an emotional sharer, and Edwin is sort of at a loss.

"Yeah," Charles mumbles after a beat. "It was a bloody shock alright."

Edwin bites on his bottom lip, resisting the urge to push his fists together.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He asks, hoping his voice conveys the appropriate mixture of care and caution.

Charles shrugs, sniffing and rubbing his face against one of his forearms. Edwin bites his lip a little harder, and cautiously raises his right hand to place it on Charles' back. He feels and sees the muscles tense, Charles arching his back like an angry cat for the half second it takes Edwin to take his hand back.

"I apologize," he says, hand hovering uselessly above Charles' shoulder blades, "I wanted—"

"Neck's fine," Charles mumbles, low enough that Edwin almost misses it.

He swallows thickly, pausing when the upstairs neighbors walk by with puzzled faces. Edwin doesn't quite glare at them but it's a near thing, and he turns back to Charles the second they're out of view.

"Alright," he says. "Neck, then."

He only touches two fingers to the nape of Charles' neck at first, trying to keep it light, but that makes Charles tense again so he changes to a more present grip, palm flat and only just brushing with the edge of Charles' hair. Charles doesn't move into it this time, but he doesn't flinch away either. Edwin feels Charles take a deep, soundless breath, like a swimmer before a dive, and braces.

"I. She asked how I was," he exhales at last, and the wind rushes out of Edwin's lungs with a punched out sound. "I haven't seen her in over seven years and she—"

Charles takes a shuddering breath, sharp and painful sounding, and his voice sounds utterly broken when he says:

"He used to beat me up, you know."

Edwin, who hadn't known but kept the possibility in his mind like a bad thorn, bites down on a sympathetic hiss and leans a little harder against Charles instead, stretching so he can lean his forehead against the back of Charles' skull.

"Charles, I'm so sorry," he murmurs, free hand grasping around until it can find the jut of Charles' left knee, and wrap his fingers around it, squeezing with as much reassurance as he can muster.

He wishes, abruptly, that he'd thought to take Charles inside before he started this talk. They both deserve better than the front step of Edwin's building, where another pair of neighbors gawks at them as they walk past. Yet, now that they're here, Edwin wouldn't cut Charles off for all the gold in the world. He fears with an intensity he didn't know he was capable of, that interrupting Charles now would send him back into his usual reserve, and Edwin knows with absolute certainty that he will go to great lengths to prevent that from happening.

"She never—every time he did it," Charles says, almost choking on the words, "she'd just stand—she didn't do anything! And now—now she—"

A long fit of coughing cuts Charles off, wracking his body and shaking Edwin's head even as he tightens his hold on Charles, as if he could make up for his childhood with how much he loves him.

"I'm so sorry," he tells Charles. "You deserved so much better."

Charles' cough subsides, melting into shuddering, soundless sobs that Edwin wants to take into his ribs and hide from the rest of the world. He straightens up and, as gently as he can, guides Charles to lean against him harder until his frame his half cradled in Edwin's arms.

"It's not bloody fair," Charles manages between sobs, gulping air like he's drowning, shaking against Edwin.

Edwin breathes in, tears crowding at the corner of his eyes, and holds Charles closer. He wishes, so desperately, that he could love him enough to erase the past and make all the pain go away.

"I love you," he says instead, recklessly, pressing a kiss into the side of Charles' hair. "I know it doesn't make anything better, but I love you."

They sit like this for a long time, Charles crying and Edwin rocking him lightly like a child, until things finally calm down enough that Charles is ready to go upstairs for tea. They drink it out of the blue mugs Monty bought when he and Edwin moved in, quietly sitting on the couch in one of those strange bubbles of relieved fragility that comes after a crisis. For a long while, they sit in silence on Edwin's couch.

Then Charles sighs, long and tired, and leans sideways until he can rest his head on Edwin's shoulder, one arm looping around his waist.

"I love you too, mate," he sighs, making Edwin freeze. "And it does make things better that you love me."

Edwin, his heart singing from Charles' declaration and bleeding from the way he meant it, nods, and drinks his tea.

[mavrintarou]

[Daddies in December] Hatake Kakashi

Happy New Year! I hope you had a fantastic holiday. I know it's technically January now but I have a few drafts still and I think I can FINALLY get them out. This is long, I just couldn't stop.

Warning: Angst, reconnection, and smut

.

“I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, thank you for taking my class. If you’re in my next class, see you next year.” Kakashi ended his last class for the semester, dismissing his students.

One by one, each of them thanked and complimented him on his class, giving him great feedback.

At last, the door to his class closed and he took a deep breath.

Reaching for his phone in his pocket, he has a few unread messages but none from Y/n.

Ever since she dropped the bomb on him about her pregnancy exactly a week ago, neither has spoken to the other.

Kakashi didn’t exactly take the news well, blurting something he shouldn’t have said and every time he thought about it, he wanted to beat himself up.

“It’s not mine.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. It couldn’t be Kakashi. One, he always wore a condom. Two, he was nearly forty-three and his doctor told him he had low sperm count!

He was not blind to the pain written on her face.

Their last encounter did not end very well.

He used this week as an excuse to get through the semester for his students; now, he must face the consequences.

Day and night, 24/7, Y/n was all he could think about.

He’ll admit that he let his anger get the best of him. He let his past trauma control and dictate his actions towards Y/n, who didn’t deserve any of it.

Kakashi could come up with a million excuses and reasons how it cannot be his child, for one, after his injury during a mission, he was told having any children was no longer an option.

But he couldn’t excuse the fact that she was a virgin when he bedded her and Y/n wasn’t one to have multiple men even if they were officially in a relationship. Their fling was exclusive for the most part. Even if Kakashi had used condoms every time they had sex and had been told he couldn’t have children… there was always a possibility…

He groaned, suddenly remembering a time when they had both just come. Still in a daze of euphoria, he slipped off the filled condom. Only with Y/n, does he ever ejaculate so much. His cock was still erect, oozing with leftover cum.

Kakashi’s eyes glaze over her wet pussy that coated with her wetness.

He had only had raw sex once in his entire life when he was still young and that was the first and the last time he had done so…

But he was so tempted just to be swallowed by Y/n’s hot and tight pussy.

“Just once,” he murmured before slipping his cock, raw, inside of her. Y/n gasped at the same time he groaned, feeling the same bliss of skin on skin. “Just want to be cock-warmed by your pussy…”

Even if he had just allowed her pussy to wrap around his raw cock for a few minutes, that could have resulted in this unplanned pregnancy.

Y/n had no reason to lie to him, she wasn’t one to manipulate and trap him with a child.

He’d known her since she was twelve, he was best friends with her brother who was in the same military unit as him. Who died saving him.  

.

Y/n knew she should have just left the fallen pen on the ground but her determined self wanted to be independent and pick it up.

Now, she was stuck in a crouching position, able to stand back up after successfully grabbing the pen.

Being almost eight months pregnant with twins, with only a solid four weeks left, she was large. Very large.

She gripped the edge of the table, taking deep breaths to build up the strength to stand without peeing in her underwear.

She needed help.

Her assistant Viv was out running a delivery and wouldn’t return for another ten minutes at the earliest. 

“Are you okay?”

Y/n’s head snapped up, eyes meeting the father of her unborn babies. When had he entered her shop? How did she miss the bell ringing at the door? She blinked before looking away embarrassed.

“Why are you down there?” He looked over, frowning.

Taking a deep breath and setting her pride aside, “Kakashi,” she called his name sharply.

“Yes?”

She looked up at him sternly, “I need your help.”

His eyes widen in a flash of panic. “What’s wrong?”

Placing both her hands on the table, she reached out to him, “I can’t get back up, help me.”

Quickly walking around the table, he looked at her, seeing she was crouching down, “are you hurt?”

Y/n shook her head, “no, I just – I just can’t get back up, my belly is too big. Just support me and help me stand.”

Going behind her, Kakashi took her outreached hand and wrapped the other gently below her bulging belly, “slowly…” he cooed lifting her until she could straighten up. As soon as she was back on her feet again she tugged her hand away, walking away from him.

She cleared her throat, wiping her hand on her overalls. “Thank you. What are you doing here?”

Kakashi’s eyes fell on her belly, the last time he saw her was two months ago. “I…” he inhales, “I want to talk.” He noticed her body switching to defense mode, and he took a careful step towards her. “Just talk, that’s all.”

“I’m not sure there is anything to discuss, nothing needs further clarification.” Her tone struggled to stay in control. “You made it clear where you stand.”

Kakashi expected her hostile attitude and gave her a small smile, “you don’t owe me any of your time but I ask kindly, please, can we talk about the baby?”

“No.”

He exhaled softly, she was going to make this difficult for him. “Okay,” he continued to smile at her, “I’ll come back tomorrow and try again.”

She glared at him, and he knew it was meant to make him fear her, but he found her adorable. “My answer will still be no.”

“Then I’ll come back the next day.”

.

The next day, Kakashi returned, with a basket of fruits. The fruits Y/n likes.

“Can we talk?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

.

Every day Kakashi returned with a gift and would leave with a sigh and his usual phrase as soon as Y/n turned him down, “okay, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

He stopped at the door and turned around, “please at least tell me what you would like for me to bring tomorrow. I’m running out of ideas.”

Before Y/n could tell him anything, Viv answered on her behalf, “Takoyaki please!”

Y/n turned her head, giving her a silent serious look.

“Takoyaki tomorrow then,” he waved before leaving.

“Seriously?” Viv groaned, “the man is doing all that to just talk to you. Can you imagine what he would do when you give in?”

Instead of answering her, Y/n turned her heels and headed to the cooler. Viv followed behind her, carrying the bag of chips and snacks. “I have seriously gained weight from all the gifts he has brought in.”

“Then stop eating it,” Y/n answered rather sharply.

“Well, you won’t eat it, so someone has to?”

Y/n ignored her, grabbing a few bundles of bouquets before heading back to the front of the shop.

“How do you guys know each other?”

Sighing, Y/n answered, “I’ve known him since I was twelve, my brother met him in school and since then he’s been pretty much part of the family.” She grabbed a white rose, one of her favorites. “They both enlisted into the military together and were deployed together.” Her breath hitched, “but Kakashi was the only one who returned home alive.”

Viv leaned over to hug her. She knew about her brother’s death and how it had affected her.

Y/n has barely spoken about Kakashi but it did not take much for Viv to put two and two together to confirm, she asked, “he’s the father of your babies?”

It was a long pause before Y/n answered quietly, “yes.”

“It seems like to me, he wants to be part of your life?”

For a second, Y/n zoned out. “He didn’t want us at first.”

“Key word, at first.” Viv clarified, leaning onto the table. “Not trying to create excuses for him but just stating that people can change overnight. He didn’t want you guys at first but what if he wants you guys now?” She stares silently at Y/n before walking away, “people can change and it could start with their actions.”

.

When Kakashi arrives the next day with two orders of Takoyakis, he glances around the shop looking for Y/n.

Viv greets him and answers his silent question, “she’s resting in the office, she kind of had a rough morning.”

“Ah,” Kakashi nodded, passing the bag of Takoyakis to her. “Maybe this might lighten her mood?”

Viv motioned for him to go on ahead to the back room, “it’s the first door to the left.”

Kakashi gently knocked on the door slightly closed door before slowly opening it. He catches sight of Y/n, her back facing towards him. “Hey…” He froze, hearing a sharp gasp.

Y/n moans, a hand clutching her belly.

A loud pop echoes the room followed by the sound of gushing fluid.

“Ah!”

Kakashi reaches Y/n before she can stumble forward. His eyes widen when he sees the floor wet. “Is that…”

“My water… my water just broke…” She gasps, her hand grips tightly around Kakashi’s arms as her contractions begin.

“What’s going on!” Viv burst through the door and gulped, “are the twins coming?”

“Twins?” Kakashi shouted, he looked at Y/n with wide eyes, “you’re expecting twins?”

.

Kakashi has been watching the chests of the two tiny humans rise and fall in one incubator. He had only discovered a few hours ago that all this time, Y/n was carrying twins.

He is now the father of not one, but two babies. A boy and a girl.

They were early by three weeks, his son is slightly smaller than his sister and has been crying from the separation of his sister after the cesarian surgery that the nurse has kept them together.

Y/n was recovering, and sleeping with the help of some medications and he left her alone to go visit the nursery.

The door to the nursery opened and the nurse peeked her head out, “would you like to come hold them?”

Dressed in a gown, Kakashi’s hands trembled as he neared his babies. They were so small.

“Would you like to hold one at a time or both of them?”

“Both,” Kakashi answered in a heartbeat.

He took a seat in the glider and the nurse carefully handled one baby at a time, setting one in each arm. He can feel his throat tightening at the immense emotions swelling within him.

Their hats were removed and after a wash and dry, Kakashi could see their physical traits.

Though it was faint, their hair was visibly silver just like their father's with Y/n’s eye color.

During the surgery, Kakashi kept his gaze and attention on Y/n, he had never felt so useless, unable to take away any of the pain she was feeling.

As soon as the surgery room echoed with the first cry, a tear slid from the corner of Y/n’s eyes. Kakashi reached to wipe it away, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

A second cry echoes the room along with the first baby and together, Kakashi and Y/n sighed in relief.

“Here are your babies!” the nurse carried them over, bringing them close.

Kakashi has never been a sentimental one but before he knew it, his cheeks were wet. Amidst the bustling room, his focus narrowed to the sight of the two infants’ cheeks nestled against the individual who had been nurturing them for the past few months.

He recalled reaching for his phone and capturing an image to cherish the moment.

Once they settled into a private room, the babies were brought back where Y/n got to hold the both of them for the first time. The nurse spent the next hour informing Y/n and Kakashi on how to care for the babies.

“Do you want to try and nurse them?” the nurse asked.

Y/n nodded, her gaze fixed on the two babies in her arms with affectionate eyes.

Kakashi was on the verge of exiting the room to give them some privacy when Y/n remarked, “it’s all right; you can stay.”

He stayed seated at the end of the bed, watching as the nurse helped Y/n untie her gown. He felt his cheeks flush when her breasts were exposed. Kakashi couldn’t help but notice how full and engorged they looked.

“Hey daddy, why don’t you come closer, you could learn a thing or two.” The nurse urges, waving him over.

Kakashi walked around the bed and sat beside Y/n. He tried to keep his heart rate down as he watched his son immediately suckle cutely the moment he tasted the liquid gold. He chuckles, his finger rubbing his chubby cheek.

His daughter remained snoozing. Kakashi reached to nudge her cheek gently, “hey you.” The tiny baby stirred and yawned adorably before whimpering.

Y/n giggled and brought her over to her other breast, urging and cooing the baby to suckle.

As soon as their feeding was over, Y/n was ordered to rest and the babies were brought back to the nursery. Not wanting to disturb Y/n, Kakashi made his way down to the nursery.

Cradling both infants in his arms felt surreal; he had only recently come to terms with the idea of expecting one baby, and now there were two. During the months when he and Y/n were apart, he discreetly acquired various items. However, he hadn’t presented them to Y/n, uncertain of her willingness to accept them.

An unsettling sense persisted with him, urging him to engage in a conversation with Y/n.

Kakashi truly wants to make it work between him and Y/n, not just for the sake of his babies now but because he really cares for her.

.

Y/n hadn’t voiced it yet, but she was thankful for Kakashi’s presence. Even if they are only working together for the sake of their babies.

She thought she would have to go through this all alone, and though she spent most of her pregnancy alone, she didn’t know what happened for Kakashi to change his mind at the last minute.

Whatever the reason was, she wasn’t going to question it because as much as she did not want to admit it, she needed Kakashi.

When she discovered she was expecting twins, she panicked. She had seen a single mother raise one kid and it already made her nervous but just her luck, she was going to be a single mother and raising two.

Y/n didn’t take the initiative to inform Kakashi about expecting twins, especially considering his initial reluctance towards taking responsibility. When the twins were finally born, she anticipated him making a hasty exit.

Upon waking from each hospital nap, her first thought was a concern about being alone in the room, wondering if he had discreetly left with no intention of returning.

It was as though he could sense it; Kakashi would enter her room and greet her with a smile as she awoke. Every time, he would inquire, “do you want to see the babies?”

He stayed with her for the four days of recovery and insisted on taking them home when they were finally released from the hospital.

Y/n was in no position to decline his offer, accepting it with a soft, “yes, please.” The car ride of them four was quiet. The babies slept through, tucked cozily in their car seats.

She didn’t want to assume or expect, she would take whatever Kakashi had to offer.

“Thank you for the ride,” she said quietly as soon as he parked in front of her apartment. She unbuckled her seat belt and froze when he turned off the engine to his car, unbuckling his seat belt as well. “you’re coming… inside?”

“Of course,” he said with a matter-of-fact tone, “you’re not supposed to be carrying anything more than a few pounds, remember?”

Kakashi carried both babies into the apartment, setting them down on the couch before returning to his car to gather the rest of the other items.

While it was just the three of them, Y/n cooed at her two sleeping babies. “Welcome home.”

.

“Kakashi,” Y/n called his name quietly, he turned his head, looking away from his daughter that’s nestled in the crook of his arm. “I appreciate you being here with us.” She inhaled softly, “but you are not obligated in any way to be here.”

It has been three days, three days of Kakashi giving them his undivided attention. He had told her that he would stay a few nights, only leaving home to shower and grab some items before returning.

Due to her cesarean surgery, she had restricted movements, with swift sitting and standing being prohibited. All remaining activities were geared towards minimizing the risk of reopening her wound.

She wouldn’t have been able to relax and stay off her feet if it wasn’t for the help of Kakashi. He had made their meals, handled the babies, and assisted Y/n with tending to her after-birth wound.

“I don’t want…” her voice croaked, “I don’t want you to feel obligated to be here, because you and I both know – “

“I want to be here. I want to be here because I am choosing to be here, not because I’m obligated,” Kakashi clarified softly. He adjusts his daughter in his arms, “I know there is nothing I can do to take back how I had initially reacted to the pregnancy. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. The only thing I can offer you now are my actions, maybe my words.” He scoots closer until he is sitting beside Y/n who is nursing their son. “I want to be with you and the babies. Through it all. I’m not going anywhere and if I am, it is wherever you three are.”

Y/n stares into Kakashi’s eyes, searching, searching for something she knew was not there. “So,” she whispers, “you want to be with us as their father?”

“Yes.” He answered without a second thought. “I want to do the honorable thing and marry you if you allow.”

“For the sake of the babies?”

Kakashi stammered for a second, “well, that too but I want to be a husband to you.”

“Do you… can you love me?”

Silence sat heavy between them before he answered, “I can learn to love you.” He wasn’t sure if the tears that filled her eyes were tears of joy or pain. They pooled at her lower eyelid, refusing to fall down her cheeks. “I – I don’t know how to love, but I can learn. If you can give me a leeway, I’ll learn to love you.”

Y/n turned away so he wouldn’t see her tears fall as she quickly wiped them with her sleeve. “Okay. I’m okay with that.”

.

Nine months have passed and within that time frame, Kakashi proposed in the presence of their two-month-old babies and moved into their place, taking over the spare room beside Y/n.

They formalized their marriage in the presence of an intimate gathering. Despite being married, they maintained separate sleeping quarters. Their connection remains amicable, marked by occasional displays of affection centered around the babies. Their lives persist with the primary emphasis and priority placed on their little ones.

Y/n continued her life running her flower shop and Kakashi resumed teaching at the university.

With two babies, time went by quicker than they anticipated and before they knew it, winter had arrived and Y/n’s business slowed while Kakashi was on winter break.

It was the night of New Year's Eve, the babies had gone to bed at their usual time leaving Kakashi and Y/n alone. Though they spent many nights alone together, it was exceptionally different, considering that their first night together had happened the same day two years ago.

“Did… you want to watch the ball drop with me?” Kakashi asked when Y/n had finished preparing her nightly tea.

Caught off guard Y/n froze for a split second before answering, “sure, if you don’t mind.”

“Never, never with you.”

Her heart fluttered and she turned away to hide her red cheeks. “Wou – would you like a cup of tea too?”

“Please,” he said softly.

When Y/n returned Kakashi had lit a few candles and had two throw blankets out but he was nowhere in the room. At that moment, he exits the baby's room, returning.

“Emi began fussing but she went right back to sleep with the pacifier.” He reached for the cup of tea.

Y/n stepped forward to hand him the cup when she stumbled, the hot tea spilled onto his hand.

“Oh my God!” she shouted, setting the cup on the coffee table before checking his hand. She immediately tugged her shirt, gently drying his hand to inspect the burn. It was red. “Let me go get some toothpaste!”

She returned with some gauze and the tube of toothpaste and quickly applied it all over his hand before bandaging it up. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay,” he murmured.

Y/n looked up at him with worried eyes, not noticing that he had been quiet and allowing her to tend to his wound. He was happy to have this interaction with her.

Kakashi reached up to brush her hair behind her ear. “Y/n.”

Y/n could melt that instant hearing him call her name, she always loved how he said her name. “Yes?”

“I’m tired of living this way,” his eyes flashed at his choice of words and he quickly corrected himself, “I mean in a way of I am tired of living like we’re strangers but parents to our children.” His eyes search hers, to make sure she didn’t misunderstand his initial words. “I want to be more than a husband to you, I want to be your rock, the person you can rely on.” Kakashi inhales sharply before speaking the next few words. “I want to be someone you love.”

“I do love you, Kakashi,” Y/n replied, “I have loved you for many years since I was probably a teenager.” She rubbed her thumb over his bandaged hand. “You were my first crush and first love. I still love you.” She looked down at his hand, “but you always just saw me as Brian’s little sister.”

With his other hand, Kakashi cupped her face, guiding her to look at him. “It is true, I did see you as Brian’s little cute sister who was so shy when I was around, but when I returned from my first deployment and you were nineteen… a grown woman… believe me when I tell you that you were the most beautiful woman in my life since that day.” He closed his eyes and released a deep breath, “then Brian and I were deployed again and that day – “ he choked on his words. “Days before that day, he had said to me – as if he knew his days were counting down, he said to me ‘I know you have something going for Y/n, I see the way you stare at her. I’ve noticed it. If anything ever happens to me, take care of my sister for me, will ‘ya? You’re the only man I trust with her.’” His thumb reached up to swipe the tear that slipped from her eyes. “Y/n, I didn’t exactly grow up with love or how to love? I learned how to love and be loved the hard way or no way at all. Please – give me grace… teach me how to love, teach me how to be loved, and teach me how to be in love with you because I don’t want it with anyone else.” He pressed his lips against hers. “I just want you love and I want to love you. Teach me how to love you so that you’ll love me back.”

Y/n threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “I love you, Kakashi. I love you and I am in love with you.” She lifts herself to look down at him with a bright smile. “I know you already love me, you show it to me in different ways but I know you love me and our babies.”

“Y/n,” he calls her name huskily.

“Hmm?”

“Please, kiss me…”

Y/n giggles and fulfills his request. Immediately everything around them began to escalate. Kakashi’s hands slipped beneath her shirt, rubbing her back. His fingers fumble with the back of her bra strap. “Kakashi…”

“Sorry, I just… I just miss touching you…”

“No – no please… please touch me. I need you.”

Kakashi groaned, “I need you badly too…”

“But before we have sex – can we share rooms? I… will it be too soon to move into one?” Y/n asked with a tint of pink on her cheeks.

Kakashi smiled, “you have no idea how long I have been dying to share a room with you. I missed you so much.”

“I just thought you didn’t want to sleep with me.”

He shook his head, “no – I wanted to after we got married but I didn’t exactly know how to approach you with that question. I didn’t know if… you wanted your own space still.”

Y/n pecked his lips, “move in, I want you to make love to me every night.”

“You might regret that…”

.

The bed softly creaked against the floor, thrashing against the wall with each slow thrust of Kakashi.

He rolled his hips, grunting each time his cock stroked entirely into her sweet pussy.

“I love you… I have loved you for so long…” His fingers tightened around hers as he pinned them above her head. “I don’t want to waste a second without you anymore…”

“Me too – me too Ka – ashi…” Y/n moaned and gasped, “I’m so close, please –“

Kakashi cut her words with a kiss, his tongue thrusting past her lips to dance with hers. He was close too, it had been too long and he wasn’t going to last much longer.

With deeper rolls of his hips, Kakshi groaned against her mouth as he cums into the condom. He continued to slowly thrust, feeling Y/n’s walls clench and tightly tremble around his cock.

As they came down from their high, Kakashi gazed lovingly down at her. “I might be late but… Happy New Year, I cannot wait to start this year with you and our babies.” Tenderly, he takes her hand, adorned with the wedding ring, and gently kisses it. “I love you, wifey.”

. . .

E/n: Kakashi is so #hearteyes

>>>@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[heartsforhavik]

i loved you from the start (raiden x gn! reader)

warnings: none!

summary: just a pure sfw story of raiden having a crush on the reader. (gender neutral, only pronouns used are “you”)

a/n: yeah so. remember when i used to be a havik account? LMAOO sorry i think raiden is very laufey coded and he’s so wholesome in mk1 :> anyways this has been sitting in my drafts for 3 days i'm so glad i finally let it out of the basement

“hi y/n! it’s great to see you. lovely weather we have today, right?” raiden greeted, with his signature bright smile.

raiden was well beloved in your village, and everyone always appreciated his and kung lao’s efforts as farmers to help the village thrive. you were never very close to him, but you still respected him.

"thanks, raiden. yeah, the weather's been real nice lately. i'm glad i can finally walk outside without my skin boiling." you sighed.

raiden laughed. "indeed. i'm glad the weather's been going easy on you."

"i suppose so. what about you? i can imagine you aren't very comfortable working under the burning sun. has it been better for you these past few days?" you asked.

you both continued your little banter for a couple hours, just walking around the village with no particular destination. but little did you know, he had the biggest crush on you, and he was ecstatic that he could finally talk to you.

it was because he was usually very shy around you. he gets quiet when there's nobody else around, it was usually you two being together in awkward silence. but today was different. he woke up that morning wanting to talk to you. he immediately got himself freshened up and went around the village to find you with his newfound courage. he was glad his day with you went well and he didn't mess up or say anything weird.

"it's getting dark. the time went by so fast, but i didn't even notice because i was having such a fun time talking to you." you admitted.

"well, i suppose time goes by when you're having fun." raiden smiled.

you chuckled. "yeah.. i guess so."

you both stood in silence for a bit, neither of you wanting to go home.

"you should get home now. it's getting late." raiden advised. he didn't really want to see you go, but he also wanted you to stay safe.

"okay.. goodnight raiden. i'll see you tomorrow." you said, before placing a kiss on his cheek and walking away.

raiden stood there for a solid minute, frozen where he stood. did that really just happen? is he dreaming? he hoped he wasn't.

he walked home with a cheeky grin on his face, and even went to sleep with that same grin. that moment where you kissed him replayed in his head over and over until he finally fell asleep.

that next morning, unfortunately he couldn't immediately talk to you. he had to go back to work. but he was okay with that. he knew once he was done, he can go talk to you again and maybe even offer to take you out for a nice dinner. he was tired of just looking at you from afar, yearning for more than friendship. he was tired of not having the courage to make a move, fearing rejection. he was tired of being completely head over heels for you, and never doing anything about it. he was always feeling as if cupid himself shoots an arrow through his heart every time he speaks to you. he had to do something now.

"you seem happy today. is there something exciting about our harvest?" kung lao scoffed, noticing his best friend's excitement as they worked.

"the harvest? no, not really." raiden replied.

"oh? so if it's not the harvest... is it a special someone? ooh, does someone have a crush?" kung lao teased, playfully elbowing raiden.

"w-what? no.. i mean.. maybe.. how did you know?" raiden stammered.

"i saw you walking around the village with someone yesterday. is that who it is?" kung lao asked.

raiden blushed, hiding his face with his hat.

kung lao laughed. "oooh, i wanna meet this person! let me see if you two are a match made in heaven."

when they got done with their work, they both immediately went to find you. when they found you at madam bo's, kung lao was ecstatic.

"hello there! y/n, is it? raiden talks about you all the time." kung lao greeted. raiden elbowed him.

"oh really," you laughed. "i'm flattered, raiden."

raiden loved hearing you laugh. it was like a sign that you were pleased by something he said or did. there are many things he would do for your approval or just to make you laugh. even if it slightly makes him look like a fool.

"it's such a coincidence you both found me here. you know, raiden and i talked almost all day yesterday. it was very fun." you shared. after hearing what you said, kung lao had a mischevious grin on his face and raiden blushed.

"oh really? that sounds like lots of fun. wanna tell me more, raiden?" kung lao teased.

"i- uh... um.. i have to excuse myself to the restroom." raiden stammered, running off.

you looked over to kung lao, in confusion. "what was that all about?"

kung lao laughed. "i think raiden has a crush on you!"

"me? really?" you asked.

kung lao shrugged. "but you didn't hear it from me. i'll leave you two alone to figure it out."

you sat there, confused, as kung lao left.

"hey, y/n, sorry about that. i guess i ate something weird." raiden laughed. he was lying. he didn't even touch the toilet. he had paced around the restroom nervously until he gained the courage to come back. he sat down across from you, hoping you wouldn't question it.

you laughed. "your friend says you're interested in me."

raiden blushed. "me? uh.. i.. don't know what he is talking about."

you smiled at how flustered he became all the sudden. "no worries, raiden. i am interested in you too."

his eyes widened in surprise. "you are?"

you nodded. he let out a sigh of relief.

"in that case.. how about i buy you some food? we're already in madam bo's. might as well enjoy a nice dinner." raiden offered.

"i would love to." you replied. you both ended up enjoying the food, and became closer that night. surprisingly, raiden was thankful that his friend exposed him. if kung lao never revealed raiden's feelings to you, he wouldn't have such a wonderful significant other now. (kung lao is forcing you two to offer him free food at your future wedding just because he's the reason you two are together.)

[mintartem]

Can't we ask something just wholesome and neutral for once?! I swear people love angst way too much!

Guitarhero but Eden trio care, they are neutral towards Michael and Adam's relationship and are a bit glad Adam has someone even if that someone it's Lucifer's twin, they just sends their regards and that's the end of it. No drama no mocking just a neutral regard

While I do love angst, I agree with anon here. We should have something wholesome too!

This has been in my drafts and it’s an old ask.

~~~

Eve took a deep breath to calm herself down. It’s been years since she saw Adam. The last time she saw him, they were on Earth, alive and breathing. When she died, she ended up in Hell and has been there ever since. She wouldn’t have known Adam ended up in Heaven if it weren’t for one of her children that ended up down there.

She felt a glove covered hand gently hold her shoulder. She glanced behind her to see Lilith giving her a warm smile.

“Don’t worry, we’re with you. However he’ll react, we will be there” Lilith assured her. She knew Eve is nervous about how Adam will react to seeing her. She’s currently in a polyamorous relationship with his ex-best friend and ex-wife. Eve thinks, no, she knows Adam will react terribly.

The doors of the Heaven embassy opened revealing a massive empty lobby. They went to the desk and rang the bell. A golden paper appeared before them with Heaven Embassy written on it. Lucifer grabbed the quill first and signed his name with Eve and Lilith following suit.

“Creepy…” Eve mumbled to herself.

Another door magically opened with light coming out of it.

“That must be our meeting room. Ladies first” Lucifer said with a bow. Eve shook her head with a smile while Lilith giggled.

The three of them walked in the room to see a massive round chair with two chairs on one side while one chair on the other. On said chair, an angel about the same height as Lilith sat with big golden wings and a very bright halo. The angel has brown hair, golden eyes, and a very familiar looking face.

“Adam” said Eve in awe. Her love for her ex-husband may not have been the same as before. But she did still loved him.

At the mention of his name, the angel who was looking at the scroll on his hands looked up in surprise.

“Eve?”

Adam was shocked to see his ex-wife there. He was expecting only Lucifer and Lilith to meet with him. He knew Eve ended up in Hell but he always assumed that she would want nothing to do with him after he heard the news that she got together with the king and queen of hell. The thought stung but she is someone he truly cares about.

Silence and awkwardness filled the room. Lucifer and Lilith felt out of place as the former lovers stare at each other in surprise, speechless. Lucifer broke it by clearing his throat. Adam snapped out of his trance first.

“Ah right. Have a seat” said Adam gesturing to the two chairs. Lucifer pulled one of the chairs for Lilith and pulled the other for Eve. Eve shook her head.

“Right… Umm… I didn’t expect you to join Eve. Here.” With a snap of Adam’s fingers, from the ground sprouted golden light like a plant and it shaped itself into a chair.

“Thank you.” Eve replied awkwardly. She sat on the chair and was surprised to find how soft it was. It appeared to be solid but it’s as soft as their own plush sofas at the palace.

For a minute, Adam just twiddled his fingers not really looking at them, well not at Eve. And Eve is doing the same. They both avoided eye contact with each other. Lucifer and Lilith felt like they were intruding on something if they speak.

“How are you?” Both Adam and eve said at the same time making them both gasp.

“I’m fine. Thanks.” They replied at the same time again.

“How’s our children?” Again.

“Doing well!” Again.

“….. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” they both said at the same time. Adam chuckled while Eve giggled. The tension in the air lessened and even gained a sense of familiarity. The king and queen of Hell can’t help but smile at their interaction.

“You first.” Adam gestured at Eve. “Hey, Adam! How’s Heaven treating you?” Eve asked. She knows its a terrible conversation starter but it’s still a starter nonetheless.

“Oh! Well… I’m doing great. Heaven’s treating me well. I hope Hell is doing the same to you” Adam replied.

“It’s fine! I’m fine down here. Lucifer and Lilith are treating me well” Eve said shyly, tucking a stray hair.

“That’s good! That’s good to hear.” replied Adam. The first man started twiddling his thumbs as the room atmosphere started feeling awkward.

Lilith cleared her throat gaining the attention of first man and the second woman.

“May we start the meeting?” She asked. Adam looked annoyed but nodded anyways.

The topic they’ve discussed was about Hell’s sinners and the royal family. Heaven wanted to inform the Royals of Hell that the sinners are acting up and even started threatening the Heaven Embassy, fuelled by their queen’s songs.

Lilith assured them that she did not want the sinners to rise up against Heaven at all, but wanted to lift their spirits up. She promised that they will keep an eye on their subjects more and ensure that such incidents will never happen again.

Heaven also addressed the concerning population growth of Hell. Lucifer promised that he will look into it and find a solution.

“Good. Heaven actually considered one of my ideas as a ‘last resort.’ Honestly, I only said that stupid idea so Sera would leave me the fuck alone.” said the first man with an annoyed tone.

“What was your idea?” asked the Devil.

“Exterminate the sinners.” Adam replied.

“Adam!” Eve exclaimed. “These are our children! Our descendants!”

“I know! Fuck! I know.” Adam said while holding his forehead in frustration. “If you can keep your people in check, Heaven wouldn’t have to interfere. Don’t worry, Eve. I’ll make sure Heaven won’t go through with it.”

This made the mother of humanity sigh in relief. If there’s one thing she knows about Adam, it’s that he would never lie.

A metallic glint caught the mother of humanity’s attention. There on Adam’s ring finger lies the gleaming ring, an engagement ring. Her eyes widen is surprised before a wide grin appeared on her face. She squealed in delight surprising everyone in the room.

“Adam! I didn’t know you’re engaged! Who is it? Who is it?” Eve asked excitedly.

Adam was taken aback. He forgot that he was wearing his engagement ring. He glanced at his left hand and sure enough, his ring gleamed at the heavenly light as if trying to gain attention.

Lilith also leaned forward with obvious curiosity on her face. He suppose that just like him, that sense of curiosity never left her. In fact, it never left the three first humans.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” The first woman muttered.

“I know! So who is it, Adam? Who is the lucky soul you’re engaged too?” Eve asked excitedly.

Adam felt his eye twitch and his face warm up. While everyone in Heaven know who he is engaged to and even celebrated it, he doesn’t understand why he felt bashful now!

“It’s fucking Michael, okay?!” Adam exclaimed, face flushed.

Lilith’s eyes widen in surprise. Eve’s eyes were wide open staring at Adam with genuine happiness for him. A glance at Lucifer told him that the guy was shocked at the news. Adam knows that it’s not because he’s engaged to Michael, but the fact that Michael actually got engaged at all.

“I’m so happy for you!” Eve said with genuine happiness for her best friend. She leapt across her seat to the other side of the table to give Adam a hug, something that the first man happily reciprocated.

“I didn’t expect Michael of all angels to get engaged” he heard Lucifer mutter.

“Congratulations, Adam.” Lilith said getting over her surprise. “And I’m happy you get to marry someone whom you truly love and want to spend eternity with.” It was said with genuine happiness for Adam.

Adam felt a small smile creep on his face. “Yeah… i am really happy with him.”

A ding of a clock had brought them back out of their trance. Eve got back to her seat, clearly wanting to talk more.

“Ah, look at the time! I know we’re all busy with responsibilities and shit so we’ll end this meeting here.” Adam said with a shrug.

They all stood up and arranged the chairs, pushing it close to the table. The chair Eve sat at faded like light.

“Well” the first man shrugged his shoulders. “Meeting adjourned. See you all next year or if you make an appointment this year.”

“It was nice seeing you, Adam!” Eve said happily. Lilith nodded in agreement. Both women walked out of the room and to the lobby of the embassy.

The first man turned to head to the heavenly portal.

“Adam.”

The angel stopped in his tracks to look at the Devil. Lucifer looked serious, but he doesn’t look angry at least.

“Don’t hurt my brother” he warned.

Adam chuckled and said: “We both know that he could literally beat me to a bloody pulp.”

“I’m serious.”

Adam nodded in understanding and glanced at his ring. His cheeks felt warm once again.

“I won’t.” From the corner of his eye, he saw the Devil relax.

“You better take care of Eve, too. If I hear that someone hurt her, I swear I’ll come down here myself and bring the fucking heavenly judgment on them.” Adam said.

“And I’ll gladly join you” Lucifer added with a smirk.

Adam gave Lucifer a long look, before rolling his eyes and heading to the portal. Lucifer chuckled and whistled while twirling his cane to follow his beloved queens.

[adorethedistance]

Do It, Then - Frat!Trevor Zegras x Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, PDA, crying (PG-13)

Words: 1213

Summary: Today was not your day and your only hope for any kind of redemption lies in the hands of your TKE boy.

A/n: The newest addition to the TKE literary universe is this piece I’ve been sitting on for a while. I hate it and if I keep looking at it in my drafts it’s never gonna get done so here we are. 

“Y/n?” Trevor looks at me confused as he opens the door. In a second, he raises both eyebrows when he notices the tear tracks painting my face. He reaches out to swiftly grab my tricep and bring me inside the house. This is the first time the rain has let up all day which is evident in the way my light-wash jeans have become increasingly two-toned. He ushers me further inside before closing the door and engulfing me in a soft hug. His strong chest smells of cedarwood and vanilla, and I slowly melt into him, thankful for his warmth preceded by a long day of cold. 

“Hey.” Shoulders relaxing, nose running, and tears still forming. One of his arms rests across my shoulder blades and his other hand cradles my head. Trevor gingerly rubs my back and presses scattered kisses to the top of my head. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.” As I take in his cologne, he breathes in my dry shampoo and I wonder if my scent is comforting to him in the way he is to me. 

After a few minutes of standing like this in the entryway, my crying dissipates and Trevor pulls away to try and look at my face. I don’t really feel ready to face him but I allow myself to look up at him anyway. He smiles at me, the hand behind my head moving to hold my face and trace the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone. 

“Come on, let’s get you dry.” Trevor takes my hand, leading me up the familiar route to his bedroom. We don’t talk the entire way to his room which I think is a new record for him. He knocks on the door and waits for Jamie’s reply before letting us in. I hesitate before I walk in, unsure of whether or not I want to subject Jamie to the full-length sob story that’s about to happen. I enter the room and Jamie immediately notes the puffiness of my eyes. He slips off the headset he was wearing.

“You okay, Y/n?” He asks, sweetly lifting his eyes to look at me. I shrug and half-smile to not freak him out. “I was gonna invite Val over, should I not do that or…?”

“You don’t have to cancel, it’s okay,” I’m able to whisper.

“Jamie,” Trevor grabs his roommate’s attention before motioning to his phone. He begins typing furiously for a solid minute, then he turns his phone off and walks over to their closet. Standing in the doorway, he scans over his half of the clothes before grabbing a pair of sweatpants and his black Golf Wang crew neck. He brings me the change of clothes before taking my hand and leading me to the bathroom down the hall. The place is of suspicious sanitation but I’m indifferent after the day that I’ve had. 

Trevor’s clothes smell like him and the sensation is comforting but it makes me miss his touch. I swing open the bathroom door and fling myself back into his arms. He laughs in surprise but gladly accepts the affection, kissing the top of my head for the second time tonight.

“You feel a bit better?” He asks sincerely and I nod against him, having difficulty finding the energy to speak. Trevor lets go of me and takes my hand, kissing the front of my knuckles and then leading me back to the bedroom. Jamie is engrossed in an intense round of Call of Duty, too focused on the game to acknowledge us in any way. Trevor walks us over to the bed and sits me down against the headboard, propping up on his pillow and grabbing a fluffy blanket for me. 

“You wanna talk about what happened?” He asks and sits on the bed, moving back to lean against the wall, perpendicular to the headboard.

“I just had a really terrible day.”

“I figured.” He laughs but nods along for me to continue.

“Y/n, do you prefer tea or coffee?” Jamie asks not looking up from his phone. 

“Usually Coffee.”

“Okay.”

“You were saying?” Trevor asks to guide me back on track.

“I’ve just had an awful day. I got locked out of my apartment and then when my landlord finally came with the master key, the power went out so I’ve been freezing all day and I couldn’t cook any food so I’m starving. I’m so behind in one of my classes because I haven’t watched the most recent lecture and we have a paper due next week. I have a massive headache from crying so much. And on top of all that, my friends got pissed at me for a misunderstanding and they’re refusing to hear my side of the story… It’s just been a really bad day.”

“I’m so sorry. That sounds really shitty.”

“And I didn’t want to intrude or be overbearing by just showing up unannounced but I knew seeing you would make me feel better.”

“I’m happy I can be that for you.” I smile at the kindness of his words and Trevor waits a moment before speaking again, “I mean, yeah, it’s whatever. I’m not a simp or anything so, don’t get it twisted, shorty.”

My jaw drops in fake shock and I laugh at his effort to double back. He shrugs playfully but then laughs with me, smiling sweetly at my reaction. His ability to cheer me up feels like it should be more ineffective; I can’t fathom how thorough his hold on me has become. 

“Bro what?”

“It’s cool, you know?” Trevor crosses his arms over his chest for emphasis and I can’t help but laugh.

“Trevor- You are such a dork.” 

“But I’m your dork?” He states tilting his head forward for added persuasion. Jamie audibly and exaggeratedly gags from the other side of the room, despite having headphones on, which makes the two of us laugh.

“Seriously, Z, that is the corniest thing you’ve ever said.” He tears his gaze away from the monitor as the CoD match he was playing timed out. Trevor merely shrugs before he leans forward to place a kiss on my cheek, right in front of his roommate. Jamie huffs a laugh before turning back to his game to start the next round. 

“I’m genuinely happy about being yours though.” He says, grounding the moment in sincerity once more. 

“How come? I didn’t think you were mine.” I’m only semi-teasing. Trevor rolls his eyes and then puts his right hand on my leg to nudge me.

“You know what I mean!”

“I really don’t.” 

“Is this about me not asking you yet?” He asks straight up.

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Oh, come on!” I smile and sit up as tall as I can to playfully puff my chest, 

“Do it, then.” Trevor lets out a big sigh before sitting up a little straighter. He uncrosses his arms and then takes my hand in his before asking,

“Y/n, will you please be my girlfriend?” I pretend to think it over for a moment before nodding softly.

“Yes. I’d want nothing more.” He smiles dazedly before leaning in to give me a soft kiss. 

“You guys are cute. You’re making me sick.”

***

a/n: I’m hoping posting this will get me out of my writers block rut. we’ll see lmao

[harryleatherfit]

Downtown🥃4.8k

Javier Peña x Brat Bartender Fem! Reader

based off of this request ||

also a 50 follower milestone🍋

Working at a bar in downtown Medellín, a biker gang comes in for their usual drink, and your boss has called someone in to help you with drinks. Nico, the head of the gang doesn’t like another man around you… but little does he know that you’re little friend Javier Peña is taking care of you elsewhere.

warnings: mentions of gangs, mentions of men abducting women, SHITTY TRANSLATED SPANISH, alcohol consumption, smoking, brat, brat tamer (if you squinttt) heightened senses, fucking in public, p in v (uncovered but pulls out), oral f receiving

word count: 4.8K

authors note: i don’t know any spanish, so i really hope my translate app had my back on this one 🍀🍀 also im rewatching narcos and myyyy god i need to write more javier LIKE CMONNN

taglist: @beefrobeefcal

One Shot Playlist

Lust for Life- Lana Del Ray

Solid Liquid Gas- Eartheater

Stereo Love- Edward Maya & Vika Jigulina

🪩Main Master List🪩

Running late to your shift at the club, per usual. You didn’t know how you always managed to at least run 5 minutes late, but tonight you were making sure you looked at least somewhat presentable.

Your boss had let you know that someone else was also coming in to help you at the bar, tonight was when a motorcycle group would come in and spend the entirety of the night, drinking their lives away.

You didn’t mind any of the men, but you needed the extra help with serving them, along with any other college kids or any other people that were gonna drink the night away. The club you worked at was specifically known for its nightlife.

Working in Medellin has been the best experience of your life. The city was beautiful, and by working at the club downtown, you soaked in every bit you could get. You became a people person and your anxiety of being alone had subsided, when your boss had hired you, he saw potential, and he knew he was doing right by hiring you.

You didn’t know what other business your boss was getting into, but you figured this club was a coverup. You never asked any questions, but you figured that’s what he liked most about you. But sincerely it wasn’t your place to care. You never knew if he was rolling around with the police or the cartels, all you knew was that he was a respected man, and it didn’t really matter as long as he paid you well.

Late at night, when you had to close, your boss would tell you to leave early, as he had some ‘business to deal with’ but you never got to see with who. Maybe one day you’d get to see, but for now you had to fucking sprint into the back of the bar to clock in.

You open the door back in an alleyway, wafting a draft of club air- humid and loud. You duck into the dark staff room quickly setting your stuff down and getting your work clothes on, not caring possibly what you could look like now, as long as your hair and makeup stayed intact. Rushing past the cooks, saying hi instead asking how everyone's day was, to finally getting to the door to burst behind the bar. Immediately, he bumps into you.

“Fuck sorry.” He gasps, whiskey bottles in hand. He gets a good look at you and stops to make sure you’re okay.

You realize this isn’t just someone your boss called in, he fucking called in Javier Peña, the DEA agent. You knew who he was, you thought you were pretty out of the loop from what was happening in Columbia, but everyone knew who this man was. Face of every newspaper with his partner.

“You’re okay,” You stutter, “Sorry I’m late.”

“Javier.” He sets a bottle down to shake your hand.

“I know who you are.” You tell him your name, analyzing what the bar looks like, checking out to see how busy the club was. You didn’t think about it until now, but you had seen Javier in the bar late at night a while ago with your boss, tucked away in the corner. This is who he does business with.

“Nice to meet you, Manny just wanted me to tell you that you can leave early tonight and I’ll close.” He rasps over the loud music.

“So you’re who he does business with, didn’t think it’d be with you.” You look at him innocently, but once you mention anything about business his whole demeanor changes. You look down to his waist band and see a gun.

“And why's that?” He asks, tilting his head. He’s only known you a solid minute and he’s already feisty.

“I don’t know, he’s quite reserved.” You blink, “And Manny’s, well Manny.”

He tuts with his mouth, “I think he’s doing business with the right man, no?” His lips purse into a frown.

“Well I’m at least pleased it’s with you and not the latter, if that makes you happy.” You answer. “But I would suggest you’re not only here to help me tonight, you’re here to find someone.”

“You’re smart, we’re off to a good start then princess.” He chuckles, “These drinks won’t make themselves.” All you can do is stare at him, at least you’re in good company, he can protect you if anything potentially went wrong tonight.

You go to the line, already seeing that he had set up for you, you look out to the room and college kids are already losing their face, the looks of ecstasy filling their bodies. He must’ve made countless drinks before you had gotten there, at least he knows what he’s doing.

“Manny, tell you about that bike gang coming in tonight?” And then it dawned on you, as he shifted toward you with a different expression than before, Jaiver’s here for them, or for someone.

“Yes he did, they’ve come in before.” You look at him, “Thats what you’re looking for?”

“Possibly.” His low base refracts out, “Just have to confirm something.”

You pause, inhaling your surroundings, patching out a deep patchouli and cashmere. It was so intoxicating you could believe you were still standing, you look to your side and Javier’s grabbing his jacket to put on.

You now realize how tall he is, his smell, his leather jacket. He pulls out a lighter and pack of smokes, his low rise jeans with his boots. Who really was this man?

“What?” He smirks.

“Nothing.” You shake your head, waking you up from your daydream, going to the line to take some orders. This man was more than you expected, you only had to work with him for a couple more hours and then you could go home. It wasn’t that you didn’t dislike him immediately, but his presence was so domineering, being around him you felt no power and it scared you.

He pours a few drinks “What's someone like you doing here, don’t think you quite belong here princess..” He pulls out a cigarette, popping it in his mouth so he can work and smoke dually.

“And who says I don’t belong here? You?” You edge on. Your eyes keep wondering to his gun.

He stares at you, not knowing how to respond. Tension already filling you both.

“I don’t know sweetheart, “ He pours, “Surrounded by a world of trouble. Men that do unspeakable things to women, any moment the wrong man could come in and see you…”

“And that’s why I have you tonight.” You smile, you point at his gun, and looks at your fingers, “Please Javier, I’d do just fine without you.”

You had never thought about it that way, not in the cartel way, but you were always aware of your surroundings working in a prominent man's workplace. You were aware of everything 24/7, that was your job for Manny.

He nods his head, your short response shutting him up. The conversation ended and you both continued making drinks, serving customers, closing out tabs.

“How long have you been in Columbia? You’re Amerian no?” You ask.

“Couple years, trying to catch the son of bitch Escobar, not gonna tattle on me are you?” He puffs out.

You simmer, each word he lets out heats you up, a raving fire petrifying a forest in your lower stomach. If you had skin contact with him, you’d faint.

You laugh, “No, unless you gave me a reason to. Finish those drinks Javier.”

He huffs, the lights of the club are making his face glow, you dance around each other, grabbing more bottles of alcohol. Lining cups and cutting limes. You get closer to him, “Do you like Columbia?”

“Yes,” His voice drops closer to your ear, “Las mujeres son otra cosa.” [Women are something else]

“Just the women, nothing else?”

“Nothing else.”

“¿Por qué nada más? Not your job? ¿Ni siquiera tu pareja? Murphy right?” [Why nothing else] [Not even your partner?]

“That little shithead? Si, Murphy.”

“He’s good no, I’ve heard some of the women around here talk about how good he fucks.”

“Sweetheart, that's where you’re wrong, mistaking him for me.”

“Really? I doubt that.” You bite, anything to rile him up. Of course you’ve heard how could Javier Pena can fuck, you’ve heard it around town, from your girl friends he’s a man whore. But how good really was he? Watching the battle in his dominant head made your stomach churn.

He closes in on you behind the table, “And who have you fucked?” Such a dirty question coming from his mouth, damping your panties, staying away from any professional decency at all. If you could in front of all these people you would jump his dick immediately, but you had a job to do.

“C’mon princess, you can tell me. Who have you fucked?”

Momentarily after you hesitate your response, his body is so close to yours you could feel the buckle of his jeans rest on your stomach. You’re backed behind the pivot of the wall where little to no people could see you. “If you’re too shy, I promise I don’t bite, this can go on all night sweetheart.”

You take this moment to grind against him, taking the risk to feel his bulge, tension never feeling this good. You didn’t want to be any ordinary fuck to Javier, you wanted to fuck him up so he could never go back. All he does is stare down at you, not believing what is happening.

“I’m not shy Javier, I’m hungry.” You whisper, tip toeing to his ear. You slither the cigarette from his hands, taking a drag. The burn breaks you alive, you move toward his mouth, locking lips and blowing the smoke into his mouth. He catches on and sucks it all in, his chocolate doe eyes never letting go of yours. The smoke flows through his nostrils, not ever has smoking ever been this erotic in your life. You needed more.

In the corner of the tiny room, you see a group of men walk through the doors, instantly knowing it’s the biker men. They were all wearing leather jackets, every single one of them covered in tattoos, every single one of them snaking through the crowd to come sit at the bar. Before you leave the secretive crevice he grabs your arm

“This isn’t over sweetheart, starting something don’t think you can finish.”

“I’ll finish, Javier.”

“Mi amor, you’re here again!” Nico, the head of the group greets you. He never failed to say hi to you when they came in, engaging with you was a task for him, every time he would drag a conversation with you. Trying to lure you to go out with him after you got off. He was your best tipper so you couldn’t complain, and he wasn’t horrible looking but you truly had no interest, it was all fun and play.

“Yes Nico, I’m always here.” You shake your head, “Absinthe and ginger ale?”

“You always know.” He laughs, taking off his jacket. All of his friends join them and Javier goes to take their orders.

“Hey sugar, why don’t you introduce me to your friend over there?” He taps his fingers on the table. This catches Javi’s attention looking over, a wave of goosebumps swallows your body, based off of his look this is exactly who he was looking for.

“And what’s your name..” Nico wisps out.

“Chandler.” He lies, you look at him, his eyes enlarge, shh.

“Well Chandler, serve me and my guys, don’t make my girl too busy I wanna talk to her.”

Nothing too new, just sweet talk Nico, fill him up to the brim with alcohol, swipe his card and take the cash he gives you.

Javier locks contact with you, but you set your stuff down, batting your eyelashes at Nico, this’ll teach our pretty boy.

“How’ve you been Nico? What have you and the boys been up to since I’ve last seen you.”

“Ahora cariño no puedo decirte que.” [Now, honey, you know I can’t tell you that] He smirks. Nico never told you what he did, but all you knew was that his group drove motorcycles around town together. Putting two and two together, it would make sense why Javier had a suspicion about them, either way they may know Pablo.

You take control, “But a guy like you needs to distress, have fun, dance everything off.”

“That’s why I’m here baby, how about your little friend here takes care of everything tonight and we leave together?”

Javier had been listening the whole time, Nico’s friend telling him their orders. You can feel his energy get stronger towards you, he lightly touches you, grabbing drinks in the fridge beneath your waist. You twitched and almost yelped, but you had to stay calm. Instead, but just for Javier, you arch your back. Hunching over the counter top to get closer to Nico, whispering something in his ear and he laughs. You wanted to see what kind of reaction that would get out of him.

You wiggle your ass, knowing it’ll piss off Javier, your low waist Rock Revival jeans accentuating every curve of your ass.

You told Nico, that Chandler's new and you had to train him tonight, little boy doesn't know what he’s doing. That got a kick out of him.

“Something I’m missing?” Javi asks.

“No, Chandler.” You giggle, “But you ruined my night with my sweet sweet Nico.” You pout at him, his face pouting like a lion, hungry. You’ve passed your line with him.

“One second sweetheart, we’re out of limes.” Javier goes to the back of the kitchen, doors closing behind him, fucking take that Javier.

Nico continues to ask about your day, his friends introduce themselves and you continue to sweeten up Nico. No harm no foul, he would eventually reach over to touch your hair that was french braided, complimenting your braiding skills. You make a couple more drinks and the business of the bar dies down, everyone on the dance floor having their fill of alcohol for the night.

You were starting to wonder why getting limes was taking so long, and you look down in the fridge and realize there's a whole bucket of them, where had he gone?

Before your eyes flash, he sneaks up behind you, but not standing, he’s on his knees so no one can see him. Thankfully Nico was busy talking to his friends so he didn’t notice that your attention was elsewhere.

“What the fuck are you doing Javier? You’ve been gone for minutes.” You whisper.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier, and you are gonna fucking finish.” He growls.

You gasp as he grabs your legs closer to him, as he’s leaning against the fridge, the space between you and the table encloses and you are really leaning against the table now.

He lingers his hands around the hem of your jeans, you stare at him in awe that he’s touching you right there.

“Can I touch you?”

“Right here? Javi, what if someone sees what if someone from the kitchen comes in?”

“I don’t fucking care, tell me now.”

It felt like there was no option, but he was giving you an option. His fingers were touching your zipper slipping down to your crotch, your body going rigid.

“Fuck,” You close your eyes, “Javi… fuck… do what ever you… want.. just be careful.”

Slowly he unzips your jeans, you catch your breath quickly scanning the bar to see if anyone could see you right now. At any moment if anyone lingered for too long or had the perfect eyesight of seeing Javier down below, they could see. You grab the edge of the bar, now holding on and not able to see what he’ll do next.

You don’t care what he’ll do to you, you wanted him to do this to you, you felt the fire fuel inside your stomach. The rush of him undoing you in public made your brain melt.

“Where’d your little friend go?” Nico turns to you for attention again.

“I think in the back to get more limes, he’ll… be out soon.”

You could hear Javier slightly chuckle, as he slowly pulls down your jeans. Your breath staggers, you can’t control how your body reacts to his touch.

“Oh baby, I do wish you could come home with me tonight, I could show you around and we could have a nice drink. Wouldn’t you like that?”

“Nico.. I… hmm… that would be nice,” You laugh, “But I am really tired, how about next week?” Knowing you, this would never actually happen, just to get him off for the night, you had bigger matters on your hands.

Now Javi has your jeans slipped down slightly past your ass, your panties out clear as day in front of him, you weren’t wearing anything special, but also nothing too bad.

You hear him chuckle, you can feel his fingers dance across your mound, reaching around to grab your ass, feeling his breath on your stomach.

“Sugar, we’re all leaving on a business trip to America next week, how about the next?”

“You know where to find me then.” You smirk.

After exploring your ass, Javi slips your panties to the side, stuffing his fingers beneath you. They slipped easily through your pussy lips, your wetness pulling him in. When he had you pushed against the wall, you were already a puddle for him, and now you were dripping on his fingers.

For not being able to see anything he’s doing, your senses were hyper. Making sure no one could see you, especially Nico. The thought of being caught turned you on, but possibly what could’ve happened if you were caught?

“Is that boy giving you any trouble? He seemed like a real fucker when he was making our drinks, I feel like I’ve seen him around before…”

Instantly you feel Javier tense below you, he’s had your legs held in his arms for a couple minutes now, but his fingers are rubbing back and forth through you went cunt, you’ve never done this before, but he knows exactly what he's doing. He pushes his thumb up just a little bit, to lay on top of your clit. Your throat can’t conceal your yelp, but thankfully the music was loud enough, no one would hear you.

“Chandler? Oh he’s no harm, he’s a little slow, but he’s kind.”

Kind? Javier was the opposite of kind.

“I’ll fucking show you slow.” You hear him whisper.

Not being able to see him is driving you crazy, you're tapping your fingers on the table and Nico goes to kiss your hands, you laugh it off but then you feel something wet touch you, not just his fingers on you now, it’s his tongue.

He kisses your pussy, from your mound down to your clit. He moved his thumb so he could suck your needy nub. What the hell is going through this man's mind?

“And he’s not trying to touch you now is he?”

Your heart jumped, Javier paused.

“What do you mean?” You stutter. Were you both caught?

“C’mon baby, is he trying to take what’s mine?” Nico frowns.

Whew.

“If he was, I’d tell you.” You giggle, not only at how stupid Nico was, but at Javier's tongue beginning to pick up speed on your clit after the little scare. You move your hips on his face, trying to relieve anything. You wanted to touch him, hold onto his hair to ride his face, but simply you had to stand there and act normal. His mustache was brushing against your skin, the burn making you more wet.

Breathing got ten times harder, thinking properly wasn’t a choice right now. You took a chance to look down and see him attached to your pussy, not able to say anything, undoing you in front of hundreds of people, his nose deep into your stomach.

As you watched in awe, he brought back his hand, lifting under your sidened panties, and he pushed his fingers up into you. Your jaw goes slack, not able to handle both at the same time. You really hope Nico would just stay distracted for an eternity.

Javier picks up the pace again, his fingers feeling like an automatic sex toy, never stopping. You couldn’t take the pace, his tongue dancing with your clit too, your eyes were about to roll to the back of your head.

You were close, but you were so scared you would give everything away, if you let yourself come, you would never be able to stop. Was this Javier testing you, to see how good you could be?

“Ok well sugar, we have to go now, I’m looking forward to seeing you in a couple weeks.” He winks. He ruffles through his wallet, slapping down 500$ in cash, at least 400 of it was for you to pocket.

“Here baby, some money to buy you something pretty, yeah?”

“Thank.. Thank you Nico, you're.. You’re so generous.”

“Don’t need to stutter for me baby, it’s all for you, only ever for you.” He kisses your wrist and gets up to leave. His friends follow him, and you lean your head on the bar, easing the howling in your stomach. Javier wouldn’t stop until you collapsed.

“He’s gone, Javier. They’re gone.” You shriek, trying to draw no attraction to the bar.

He slowly gets up, the light illuminating his wet mouth. You were so close to cumming all over his face, you were close to crumbling down on top of him, but you had to show him that you were strong and you couldn't break.

“You liked that huh? You liked that I was tongue fucking your pussy in front of that little cock sucker. Pussy’s a fuckin whore you know that. Could feel you soaking me up,” He wipes his mouth “Sweeter than candy, and he’ll never get a taste.”

“You don’t think I’ll let him suck my fucking pussy in front of hundreds of people?”

He takes you back to the hidden wall, slamming you against it.

“You think I'd let you? Think I’ll let a man that fucking dirty touch you? You’re wrong sweetheart, take his fucking money but I won’t let you go anywhere near him again.” He growls in your ear. He leaves you and you watch him, your jeans are still unzipped open, leaning against the wall.

He rumages for a lime in the fridge, walking back to you behind the secret wall, bringing the fruit to your mouth, “Bite.” He demands.

You shake your head, smirking. It was just a game with Javier.

Then he shoves the lime into your mouth, so citrusy but keeping you quiet. He roughly turns you around so you’re facing the wall, your jeans are still off your ass, and he starts to undo his. The metal of his belt touches your back, the hairs on your back lifting.

“Gonna be a fucking brat, or listen to me and when I tell you do to something?”

You moan, yes I’ll fucking listen you had to say. You’d always listen to Javier. Instead you shake your head for him.

“Pretty girl can’t fuckin talk, that’s what you get for being a fuckin slut. Like being a fucking little slut for me huh baby?”

You moan loud, not afraid anymore with the decibels of the music blazing through the club. Nobody in the world would give a fuck if they saw you two anymore. It was just you and Javier now. All you wanted was to whore yourself out for Javier, only his fucking whore. Let him use you how he’d like.

“Never seen such a perfect cunt like yours, mean it.” He gasps, he pulls his jeans down just enough to get his cock out of his boxers. From what you could see in your peripheral and being turned around from him, his dick looked long. Your heart sank and you didn’t know if you could take all of it.

“Don’t get shy on me now baby, it’ll be okay. You can be as loud as you want, no one will ever know.” He groans. He takes his hand off of holding you against the wall to pump himself a couple times “I wish you could see you fucking pussy right now, so pretty and glistening for me.”

You feel his cock nestle against your entrance and your body freezes up, his dick is so big, you panties have to stay on the side of your leg.

The whole night you’ve wanted this, since the moment you’ve met Javier, you needed him. He slips his dick in and you both relax at the new feeling, groaning at how full you are. He moves, you bite the lime stronger and the juices smear all over your face.

“When I first saw you sweetheart, I knew I needed to feel you, I knew deep down I needed fuck this fucking cunt.” He fucks up into hard. You shriek at the new pace. “That’s it, dirty fuckin whore for takin my cock out in the open, splitting you wide for the public.” He kisses your neck, down to your chest. You wanted to kiss him back, wanted your lips around him.

All you can do in groan and control where your arms are. He holds one leg in his hand, now slightly having you bent over the wall. He goes at you again, adjusting his stance so he can fit inside you better, but not only is he fucking you, he moved his hands around your stomach to hold you up, holding you like you’re his.

“What a fucking brat… talking to dirty men.” He seethes, “But I think you liked it… I saw your ass bent out, you knew what you were doing. Fucking whore for teasin me… knew what you wanted all along.”

Aside from the music you can hear your pussy breaking from his cock, your eyes fill with tears from how bad you want to come around his dick. His weight on you felt like the world was crashing on you, and you wanted more. You wanted to be alone to do more, but this was all was given to you.

No matter what, the thought of being caught while he was about to come, or you were made you more wet, the inability to stop what you were doing but a whole scene of people at the club seeing you get fucked like a fucking whore. You loved it, the thrill, the passion in your bodies, the feeling of no embarasement because Javier was proud to fuck you like this. All you wanted was to tease Javier, make him upset. Prolonging another punishment.

His scent and the cold of his leather jacket kept you alive, but if it wasn't for that you’d immediately fall to the floor, crumbling from the inside of his dick. When he would fuck you, cock kissing your pussy, you could feel the metal of his gun hitting your lower leg, you weren’t scared but protected.

Repeatedly thinking about being caught, you feel yourself tighten around him, not knowing where else to move or think. You moan as loud as you can, about to break every particle of the wall you’re resting on.

“Fuck… that’s it baby… come all over me… pussy’s so tight. I can feel… fuck…let go perfect girl let the whole crowd see.”

You stop thinking, you just let go. No matter where anyone in the world was, you wish they could feel this feeling, how every amount of stress flew away. Every ration of thought eased and your pussy craved more. You wanted to be fucked all night long by Javier, it’s what you were made for.

“Greedy fuckin cunt, swallowing me whole.” He whimpers. “Don’t think I can last longer baby…”

No matter what you lose all cognitive function and fall into his arms, he fucks your orgasm through and you’re unable to process how fast he was going, eventually pulling out so he wouldn’t come in you. He flips you around on the wall so you can finally see and he quickly finds a rag so he can come, before you close your eyes you sag against the wall, slipping to the floor. You can feel that your underwear is beyond stretched out, ripped partially but you don’t care. Evidence from tonight that you would remember for forever.

You watch him grunt, pumping himself until he spurts. You would do anything for that white liquid to be inside you, but it’s for the best.

Once he’s done, he throws the rag to the side, and slides against the wall next to you, he holds you tight again, compressing the aftershocks in your body to his. He takes the lime out of your mouth and you almost forgot it was there, you see your bite marks, realizing that if it was his hand you would’ve drawn blood. You slump against him still hidden in the club.

“I was.. Wrong… Javier Pena… can fuck.” You whisper.

He laughs, “I didn’t think fucking in public with a pretty girl like you would ruin me.” He kisses your temple.

You grab onto his leather jacket, “Better tell Murphy you unlocked a new kink.”

“Nu-uh, gonna keep you from Murphy, my fuckin trophy girl.”

[quibbs126]

if you havent yet, could you do an almond x latte fankid? i love that ship a lot :)

Here we are, this is Almond Milk Cookie

Funny enough, I was actually trying to go back and find this post after editing something, only to realize I never actually posted it and left it in drafts. Only for one day, but still

Anyways, so on to him

So Almond Milk here is a healer, using almost exclusively milk magic. He started out in Parfaedia, and spent a good portion of time there, until he switched over to the Vanilla Kingdom to learn healing magic, where he now works as a doctor

He’s a very friendly and kind sort, and he’s very dependable. Also, despite what some may think from his profession, he’s quite physically strong as well

However he is self conscious about not being made of “real milk”, instead being made from almonds, and he wonders if his false ingredient hinders his healing abilities. His mother has told him that whether or not his ingredient really counts as “real milk” doesn’t matter, but it’s never been something he’s able to let go. He doesn’t really make it that known anymore though, preferring to keep it to himself

Now on to design things

So I’ve had the name Almond Milk as an almondlatte kid idea for a good while now. Lattes are made of coffee and milk, and there exists a form of milk made of almonds, so it’s the obvious choice

Almond milk:

I made the initial rough sketch some months ago, so I don’t entirely remember the thought process behind it. But it looks nice, and like Latte’s but with one of Almond’s hair colors

I’m not sure why I gave him a thicker body type, but whatever, he has one. It’s not like I’m that good at drawing super skinny Cookies anyways

His outfit was originally going to be more hospital like, and probably somewhat closer to Butter Roll’s, until I decided that maybe I should make it more fantasy looking. Especially with all of my Almond kids generally having more modern looks to them, or at least in the way that Almond is “modern”, I don’t know the right word

The small cloak thing was a bit of a struggle, especially with his smile, but I eventually got something

In the sketch I gave his almond brooch something around it that looked nice, but I wasn’t really sure what it was going into the lineart, so I made it leaves. They probably shouldn’t have lines and should instead be solid green, but whatever

I gave him that spoon last minute in the sketch, since I remembered that as I said prior, I tend to not give my fankids accessories or tools anymore, and I wanted to rectify that. Unfortunately his pose didn’t really lend me well to putting it in his hands, so it’s just slapped on to the back. I’m also noticing now that the spoon itself it too small, at least on the bowl thing. But it’d be a big hassle to try and fix it, so I guess I’m stuck with it annoying the crap out of it

Oh yeah, so as mentioned earlier, I came to edit something in his design, that being his colors. Originally he looked like this

I liked the blue, and it does give him a color scheme unique from his parents, but my big problem was that the colors reminded me of Marcille from Dungeon Meshi. I don’t know if the outfit is exactly like hers, but it was bugging me, so I changed it. I think overall I like the new color scheme better, but I just wanted to mention the old one

I’m actually quite satisfied with how he turned out. Though granted I did have ideas going in about what to do with him, so that probably helped

Anyways, so that’s Almond Milk. I hope you like him

[strawberryblondebutch]

Draft thoughts

Obligatory disclaimer: while I watch a lot of college hockey, I have not had the opportunity to watch the European leagues heavily, and my 'scouting' of Euro prospects is limited to international competition. My first round recap is here.

Boston: Boston took my two favorite players in the draft, for very different reasons. Out of everyone who went right from college to the draft, Bilka is the best-prepared to adjust to the professional level. Her game-breaking speed will help a relatively slower Boston team. Hadley Hartmetz - hey. Just vibes. Gotta support a Main Line girlie. Bard won't get you any goals, but she can block shots and make plays.

Minnesota: I mean, what do you want me to say here? They shit the bed. Britta Curl thoughts are here. Thompson over Barnes was ill-advised. Hymlárová over Boreen borders on malpractice. Brooke McQuigge is the one pick I like - she dragged Clarkson back to relevance this past season, but she has some injury concerns.

Montreal: I'm not going to say that Monreal got lucky. What they did is they didn't overthink their picks (which is funny, considering they were the only team to use those five-minute timeouts). Best player available whenever they came up. Barnes was the best D available in the draft. They swiped Boreen not just from Minnesota but from every other team. Saw their chance with Kessel available. Wilgren was solid for UW -- high floor, low ceiling player. You need some of those.

New York: I mean, if you get to go first in every round (before the pick trade), you pretty much have to knock it out of the park. I hope Fillier can get back to form and take more risks. She works best when she's loose and not thinking. Elle Hartje is an underrated pick - she was the only Yale Bulldog to declare, and they've been climbing up the ECAC Hockey ladder. Persson is also a three-time defender of the year in the SDHL, which legalized body checking a couple years ago, which means she knows how to play gritty, physical defense.

Ottawa: Shrug. I'm not thrilled with their picks, especially with how high they were in the draft order, but they did commit to the overall plan: get bigger and get meaner. Gwyneth Philips will make a great tandem with Masch, who I expect to slump this year (call it the Cole Hamels problem: newborn at home = not sleeping = there goes your command). I wouldn't be surprised if Sandy went back to Europe to get more playing time (as of writing, she has an offer she hasn't accepted from OTT).

Toronto: I said in my first-round recap that Toronto mostly has to tread water until Spooner comes back, and although that gives them the opportunity to make big swings, they played it pretty safe. Gosling is a solid bottom-six. Izzy Daniel slipped pretty far for the incumbent Patty Kaz winner. Sure, her numbers weren't great, but look at her team. No one else was doing shit. Raygan Kirk as Ms. Irrelevant would be the steal of the draft if I thought Troy Ryan had any intention of playing her, but he's probably just going to run Soupy into the ground and waste her talents.

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Been following along with Budding Romance (🌟 star anon from before) and I just thought of "I won't let you take her away from me Jeremiah" possessive Xavier turning into, wait no "I won't let her take YOU away from ME"

First off 🌟 Nonnie, I love you and your brain. It's beautiful. I smooch you both 💋💋 (and your other ask is in my drafts bc im writing stuff for it!)

GASP! I almost forgot my obligatory @skynapple tag bc she deserves to know how much her fic has changed the brain chemistry of our side of the fandom lol.

SECONDLY- Xavier realizing he's about to lose Jeremiah, who's been with him through what is likely hands down some of the worst moments in his life? I can definitely see that causing some panic.

Roxie and I talked here about Xavier being very resistant to change and how, while he might not realize his dependency on Jeremiah on a conscious level, subconsciously, that's the one person who's been a constant in his life since they left Philos. Even if it's something you hate, humans still NEED consistency to be happy and healthy (both mentally and physically). You might hate getting up at 7am every day, or going to work, but living a life of pure chaos (or existing in pure apathy) just doesn't foster growth and recovery.

So once he realizes that MC might drive a wedge between him and his ONLY support pillar? The singular source of consistency in his life since they arrived on earth? The one person he's been able to count on for any normal conversation where he didn't have to pretend he was someone/something he's not? That would be terrifying. That would be devastating.

Xavier KNOWS Mc will reincarnate. Xavier knows she'll be back. He's lost her at least twice before, likely thrice, maybe more. That is a pain he's dealt with and learned to come to terms with. He's got a spot on his shelf for that pain and grief and processing.

He's never lost Jeremiah. Of all the Backtrackers that have left their cause, died, or outright betrayed him, we as the players know that Jeremiah has remained at his side the entire time, and that definitely means that Xavier is more than aware of it.

The saddest part is that I don't think he'll even realize all of this at first, and I definitely don't think it's his conscious brain either. This is something that likely comes to him in a dream, where he wakes up in a cold sweat with his heart racing as he flies out of bed, light sword drawn in his hand before he's even realized what he's done. Something that rattles him so deeply that it takes him a solid minute just to settle, to sit at the edge of his bed and calm his breathing with his head in his hands as he grapples with the discomfort of realizing just how attached he is to the both of them, but to Jeremiah specifically.

He is damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.

[moodymisty]

Long time listener, first time caller (so to speak XD) and I’m absolutely ADORING the Primarch content so why not officially throw my hat into the prompt-making ring??? My brain worm of the day is something in the same vein (haha blood puns) of Sanguinius’ where there gets to be a private more relaxed moment. Prying our dear Primarch away from his work for just a few precious minutes, maybe longer if it can be managed, to calm tf down for a bit. These guys are overworked to hell, they could all use some TLC let’s be so fr rn. I couldn’t nail down exactly who to pick but I did narrow it down to a top three, Dorn, Rob, and Magnus. Those three I think are the ones most likely to literally pass out at their desks (impressive given their demigod status but I’m sure they’d fuckin manage to somehow XD). Idk if there’s much to really be done with this idea I’m just in my “let these guys be human for 4 seconds plz” feelings again 😭

As always love your writing, Misty! Have fun, no rush, no pressure ❤️❤️❤️

(P.S. Plz tell your cutie chaos birb all us readers say “hi!!!!” XD)

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's note: So you sent this in and then I just kinda blacked out and when I came to I had this in my drafts. Enjoy.

This post has been approved and sponsored by the Imperial Fists.

Summary: Dorn takes a moment of respite during a particularly frigid night on Inwit.

Relationships: Rogal Dorn/Fem!Reader (no pronouns are used tho it's just the vibe if you know what I mean)

Warnings: General 40kness so mentions of war death etc, Dorn being pretty emotionally stoic, Me worldbuilding too much

Word Count: 1567

Inwit is cold.

Dorn had told you this as the Eternal Crusader moved to finishing mooring on the frozen planet, and you'd nodded in understanding. You lack the convenience of sealed Astartes armor, the cushion of air heated thanks to their unusually hot body temperature.

You knew already that Dorn's homeworld was an ice planet, so you didn't quite understand why he was telling you again.

What Dorn seemed to not specify however, was just how cold.

Your bed is covered in four different pelts, and you're still freezing. You have a blanket just for your feet, and they still feel like they're going to fall right off. At least during the day, you had an outer layer of clothing made of thick fabrics, in a design and shape more than likely traditional to Inwit. You assume Dorn had it requisitioned for you, but he mentioned nothing of it other than sparing a glance in your direction when he first saw you in it.

But now that outer layer lays on the trunk at the foot of the bed, and you're seriously considering attempting to sleep in it.

You know it's snowing outside, it always is, the fresh white layer of snow reflecting the light of the moon and illuminating more than what could be seen on a warmer planet at night. You can see more snowflakes fluttering downward, hitting the icy window. Your teeth feel like they are going to clatter right out of your mouth.

Inwit is cold.

And because of it you haven't been able to sleep, merely lay in bed trying to distract yourself enough to maybe drift off.

It would be better if Dorn was here; His body runs so hot you probably would've been able to leech the heat right from him and perhaps get a few moments of rest.

But Dorn is still tirelessly planning, as rarely does the man ever indulge in rest. He'll often times take on the the extra work to let you, one of the few silent ways to tell you he cares about you. Now is one of those times you so desperately wished he wouldn't do that and just join you before you actually froze to death.

Giving in you lean upward and kick your feet outward, sliding off the massive bed and hauling one of the smaller pelts with you. Your hands pull it tight over your shoulders, while slipping on your shoes. Without them just putting your feet on the floor felt like they were stepping on a solid block of ice.

You know Dorn is still at work in the messy workshop he uses as his personal room. If he won't come to you, then you'll come to him.

It's less cold now that you're on your feet and your blood is pumping, leaving the private quarters and walking into the hall. It's late, so it's largely empty apart from the occasional serf at work. You quickly pass by and keep walking until you find the door down at the far end of the hall. One of many in this maze of a building. You'd call it less so a palace, and more so a fortress.

You open the door and gently close it behind you, looking through the dim lighting across the room. You can see Dorn's outline as he sits planted at that massive desk. He's leaning against his hand, elbow seated firmly against the top of the desk. His hand doesn't even seem to be writing, and for a moment, you almost think he's asleep until he turns to you.

"What are you doing here?" You tug the pelt tighter around your shoulders and try to stifle a shiver.

"I couldn't sleep. Shivering too much." Dorn's face is just as stoic as always, though it softens just the tiniest at you admittance of discomfort.

"You will get used to it soon enough." You sincerely hope you do, because you're not sure how long you'd be able to stand this if you weren't.

Rubbing your hands together you swear you can see your breath, even in a room being warmed by a large but waning fire. Keeping fires blazing nonstop is considered wasteful by many natives of Inwit, given the scarcity of materials. It may be easier now given the ability to import, but Inwit being a Ice World will always remain. Life will never be truly easy. Not even close.

Trying to hold back a shiver you walk closer to him, watching his eyes glance to you for a moment. He's paying attention to what you're doing, even as you slip underneath his arm. You twist and turn until you sit across his thighs, leaning back against his arm as you look over his desk.

There's blueprints on them; Rough ones, scattered with various small notes and adjustments for a future draft.

"What are these for?" You don't really expect an answer, but Dorn does actually surprise you with one.

"Another wing for the Imperial Palace." You hum, looking over the mess of lines as your legs drape over his own. They only make basic sense to you, learning by sight in situations much like this.

His free hand lowers off the desk to cup the side of your thigh instead of leaning his jaw on it, keeping you from sliding off of his lap. It also holds your pelt blanket closer to you, keeping you trapped in a small pocket of warm air. Thankfully he isn't wearing his armor, so you can actually feel the heat of his body against you.

"You should go back to bed." You press harder against his chest as if worried he'll remove you as he continues to plot out rough measurements and structural supports.

"You aren't there." Dorn draws a singular line from one drafted spire to another, writing something along it.

"I don't need to be." You purse your lips.

Dorn has always been like this. He speaks with such indifference one would think that he doesn't feel anything; You wouldn't blame them for thinking it. You know he does, and quite deeply, but he's been harshly trained over so many years to barricade it so deep within himself that it will never seep out.

Dorn wants you to rely on him, not depend on him. He's formed and molded his legion under the same idea; That you should rely closely on your allies as they're pivotal to your survival, but you should be able to stand just as strong on your own. You shouldn't need him to sleep till morn.

At least, that's what Dorn wants to want. Sometimes he finds himself doubting. You aren't an Astartes; He brought you into a world of demi-gods and giants expecting you to hold your own, but he'll always desire to protect you from it all. You provide him with a tiny shard of glass that reflects back the humanity they're fighting for. That him and his sons had resigned to never being able to see. Sometimes he wants nothing more than to indulge in more moments like this.

Your head lays against his chest, and you divulge in the warmth after spending so long near freezing.

These blueprints span the entire desk and even curl off the edge at one end, with various notes drawn over them. There's so many redraws and revisions that it's hard to tell whats what, you don't even know how he reads them. But you still watch him anyways with hooded eyes.

"Dorn..." He knows what you're going to ask, as his hand stays firm and unyielding on the side of your leg so you don't slide.

"When I am done."

You had come here with the hope to bring him back with you, but now you find yourself trapped here with him; His personal vox making noise from the corner of the desk.

He silently hands you the device, and you begin reading them out while he continues to work.

"Requisition orders got approval, news that the Faithful Servant has been waylaid by a severe technical malfunction," You yawn. "Alexis Polux wishes to speak with you."

You remember that name. He's an extremely competent and surprisingly humble Astartes, from Inwit the same as Dorn. He's apparently recently been made Captain, judging by the honorific attached to his name. You remember speaking to him once. He deserves the title.

"And... Something about the Night Lords. They," You yawn again. "One of their ships drifted towards a battle barge a bit too close for comfort." Dorn doesn't find that surprising. The sons of Konrad enjoy those sorts of intimidation tactics, trying to goad fights and spread unease through even their supposed allies.

Dorn holds on your words waiting for you to continue as his pen slides over the parchment, until he finally looks away from his blueprints for the first time since you entered the room.

You're asleep. Your head is leaning against his chest, and mouth just lightly parted as you breathe. You had completely failed in your attempt to get him away from his work, not that it had a high chance of working to begin with. Dorn watches for a moment before he finally sits down his pen and takes the vox from your loose hands, setting the device back down when he'd taken it from. That same hand returns to you and fixes the pelt you'd brought here, keeping it from falling to the floor.

Picking up his pen again Dorn sighs- and continues to work.

[devondespresso]

Wiggly-Worm Wednesday!! 🧠🪱

speeding through this before Wednesday ends (the deadline is both extremely malleable and entirely self-enforced and also time isn't real)

tagged by the lovely @hbyrde36 thank you!!

Today the worms are Connected they're connecting dots and doing a great job at it!

my non-fic worm is kinda branching off the first 1k i wrote for stwg's fic exchange, which then hopped skipped and jumped over into its own idea and now I'm enjoying my down time imagining the shenanigans of Robin sneaking Steve over post s4, like living in her bedroom hiding in the closet shenanigans cause his parents aren't back and the hospital had to discharge him to help other patients and she can't just leave him home alone that's a recipe for disaster so really she basically had no choice but to sneak him in through her ground-floor window with a duffel bag under her bed and steal a couple of her dads button down shirts because Steve's a dingus and didn't bring any even though any pullover is a pain in the back-and-tricep-roadrash right now.

so of course robins parents find out because stashing away a whole ass adult man in a bedroom for more than a day or so is actually pretty difficult even when he's not gravely injured. in my head they're pretty understanding after they get to cool down a bit, its not like steve was never around before and he'd always been polite, plus even if they still did think stobin were secretly dating, they're clearly not doing anything and the only reason Robin didn't just ask was because she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

And then on the actual wips front i had the brilliant why-didnt-i-think-of-this-sooner idea to pick a wip to work on based on what i was brainworming just for fun, which led me to my actual stobin wip and within like 20 minutes i had a couple epiphanies about the connective themes im exploring like realizing what i was putting together without realizing. (cut because oh god this got long fast)

Its ended up being a lot about gender, the imaginary wall between girls and guys in a friendship sense that feels solid just because you haven't had the proof that its not really there yet, the heteronormativity and amatonormativity driving a wedge between possible friendships. in this fic, robins really apprehensive about forming any kind of connection with steve because she's had the experience of guys only being interested in dating that she has a lot of mistrust around and m/f friendships that start forming (and ofc it ends with post starcourt platonic with a capital P soulmateisms 💕). i also have this little struggle where like if i can name multiple important theme-y words i fear ive got too many going on, so i was afraid this whole loneliness thing I've got for robin was going to conflict with the gender thing but i think ive got it sorted, they're different levels and their connected ideas, robins escape from loneliness means she has to break through her internal gender wall and let it be broken, plus the loneliness is going to be more explicit in the text because robins like fully aware of it while the gender stuff is probably going to stay mostly subtext and be much broader, popping up in steves pov area too and really all around them.

also had no clue how relevant it would be but steve and robin are like perfectly balanced blurred gender lines like steve is a masculine dude comfortable in his masculinity that also has a healthy relationship with his feminine trait, the hair stuff the babysitter/mom friend thing, he's not ashamed of any of it (and actually i had a longer post on Steve's gender balance somewhere in my drafts but we don't have time rn) and then robins like practically the same in her expression of femininity, she's as far as we see comfortably a girl, wears makeup, loved that movie about doomed love, she's got her feminine traits but also likes dabbling in masculine traits, she dresses more masc (tho its still a solid middle ground, comfort is a big focus), she likes ufos and creepy stuff and jokes about spider babies in hair. idk it just felt like they're a matching set as far as gender goes, if they did combine into one being they'd be bigender 100%

anyway uhhh this got long thank you for sticking around fyjdtjdgjdyj

tagging (no pressure and no deadline, im sorry Wednesday is already basically over dyjxjydgj): @momotonescreaming @stellarspecter @dreamwatch @pearynice @withacapitalp

@queenie-ofthe-void @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @writing-kiki @eriquin @eyesofshinigami

(Vague Rules just in case this makes no sense xtjsdjtdyj: it's technically just Wiggly Wednesday and its where you just post your brainworms/fun ideas of the past week/day/whatever. its super loose, i like talking about brainworms for things ill never write and things im currently writing but you can do whatever. no set number of ppl to tag, just have fun!)

@puppy-steve @hairstevington @hotluncheddie @gleek4twd @klausinamarink

@soaringornithopter

[megabuild]

this isnt about the ask game but i need you to tell me more about your take on pausetho. i just binged starblight desert and theyre the worst /aff what do you have to say about them

the fact you've specified starblight desert is really interesting to me because not only it is a team canada series but it's also the most recent team canada series- which isn't a bad thing to be clear, because pausetho is eternal and forever, but it interests me because i think pause and etho's dynamic changes a lot in a way that i wouldn't consider applicable to other ships of his that have that long and ongoing history (eg. ethubs, beeftho).

when i think of pausetho i think. the two of them are fundamentally quite lonely characters. full disclaimer that i'm far from #educated on their respective mindcrack povs because i haven't watched them in a hot minute, but. etho is extremely lonely often through choice, especially imo with the way i interpret his time on mindcrack as being shortly after all the 404 nonsense on the lp (tldr he has just went through the most traumatic experience of his life and learned most of what he remembers prior is probably fabricated). etho is also known for his masks and during mindcrack i think a big one was being this very respected and almost famous guy.. a lot of it was in jest ofc but like he's Thee Etho's Lab! this in addition to the fact that he's sort of intimidating in the same way he was in 3l+ll because his uhc rankings were pretty solid.

meanwhile pause is also lonely but imo in a different way. because etho is a guy who chooses loneliness to avoid the eventual hurt that comes from connection whereas pause is a guy who chooses connection time and time again but never really properly connects. hes a lot harder to analyse so forgive me because i also have to tread the dreaded rpf/fiction line here and start pulling from examples most people wouldn't consider due to it being Too Real (also i dont care because its complicated but anyway) one thing that always sticks out to me is the various mindcrack podcast episodes where he ends up being outspoken? i dont have any actual numbers on hand but i Def remember it in regards to like, discussions of female gamers and gamergate and the like and pause often being the one guy to speak up and be like This is shitty actually. that in addition to some far more complicated things i dont have the words to get into right now eg. being the guy on the gayest straight server ever who is actually bisexual But anyway. my point is that among mindcrackers pause to me is in a weird situation where he certainly fits in very well but simultaneously sticks out like a sore thumb in ways he cant really do anything about without massively compromising himself, so despite not being lonely in the same way etho is, there is a certain Something there.. sorry this makes zero sense but this ask has been sitting in my drafts for like a week and im desperate to get rid of it. PLUS he also deals with this in the form of a mask (he is actually a very anxious and soft hearted guy imo but often plays up and is fiercer and shouts more to get laughs but also to come across as bigger and more intimidating than he actually is. not that he needs to because jesus have you seen this guys uhc stats? frankly i should have skipped this entire essay and just linked the various times that etho and pause have clashed in uhc)

anyway jesus this got long . all of this is literally not real btw the main reason i like pausetho is because theyre funny and pause is one of my favourite guys and i wish there was more content for him. but also generally like.. this is the complicated messy reason to like them but also yeah generally just watching team canada and seeing their dynamic is fun bc they are just really good friends ^_^

[dearsnow]

APRICITY

the warmth of sun in winter ; it may be cold outside, but the warmth of his arms is unmatched by any other force. (jon snow x fem!reader, part of the standstill collection)

word count: 652

STANDSTILL: The arrival of the Lannisters and Baratheons in Winterfell has caused the world to quiet for just a moment- a moment long enough to last lifetimes.

a/n - I’M BACKKKKKKK :)) this has been in my drafts forever but i’m glad i got a chance to finish it eventually. this is kinda just a cute comfort fluff, hope y’all enjoy <3

The morning sun beams lazily down on you, casting your face in golden rays. It catches on Jon’s eyelashes, and the sight lights a little burning candle in your cheeks. How could one man look so beautiful? He could be a prince, you think. The sheets covering your bodies shuffle as you scoot closer, closing your eyes once more.

His chest rises and falls above your head. It is winter, but your arms are drowning in warmth and your legs are tangled with his and you don’t think you could be cold with the way he is pressed up against you. You take a shuddering breath when you realize just how relaxed he is.

You rest a palm on his cheek, eyes closed just as softly as they were a minute ago.

“How is it you know my face so well?” He questions, voice quiet and raspy from the slow morning. You open one eye, jolted a little by the surprise of his awakening. The scruffy beard underneath your fingers moves as he turns to kiss your palm.

“I know your face like I know my own.”

“But you don’t,” he says, slipping his hand over yours. “know yours, I mean. If you did, you would think your own face the most beautiful in the world.”

You all but scoff at this. “The most beautiful in the world? I’m not that arrogant, Snow, and you know it.” You cannot imagine yourself as a great beauty, and you know with a solid mind that no one will sing songs about your fairness when you are dead and buried.

“You deserve to be. You deserve the good things, the ones I can only give you in dreams and false promises. You deserve to think yourself pretty and smart and all the things I know you to be.” Though whispered, his tone is firm as ever. Strong like ambrosia wine and the trees unbent in the winter-kissed forest. It makes your heart melt as quickly as an icicle by the fire.

“I didn’t know you thought of me that way.” You snuggle deeper into his warmth, and he accepts you with open arms.

“I think of you in so many ways, my lady. That is but one of them.” You know in your heart that he means it. Jon Snow is a lot of things, but he has never been and never will be a liar. He shifts in your grasp.

“I appreciate that, more than you could ever know.” Your voice wavers just a little bit. Being who you are, with your father as he is, you often do not get the kindness of being thought of positively.

“I’m glad.” He kisses your hand once more before sighing. “To be honest, I don’t feel like leaving this bed.” His words meander through the thick air, just as lazy as you feel.

“Then we do not have to.” He quirks his brow, and you quickly add, “I’m sure no one will miss us for five more minutes. Let us relax.” You kiss his chest through his shirt, an act that sends electricity through his sluggish veins. He always feels like that when you touch him. He doesn’t know why, but your every graze brings his breaths back to life.

“I have duties.” He says, unsure. But the warmth of your body and the plush covers are just so very inviting.

“Am I not one of them?” You question, scrunching your nose. He smiles softly, expression as kind as the gentle clouds in the sky.

“Aye. Let us stay.”

He holds you to him like you could slip from his fingers at any moment, and you hold him like you will. His arms are just so inviting, and the winter sun just shines in a particularly idle way, and you could not escape even if you wanted to.

You stay that way for a long while.

Taglist: @peaked-in-third-grade @hueanhdang @scxrlettlove @cecespizza01 @lovelyliliya @the-jess-life @watercolorskyy