#releasing this into the wild like an injured bird

[roosterr]

love you from afar

note: this has been in my drafts since MARCH. can't decide whether i like it or not lol. @wetsocksinbed angsty fic is up next >:)

pairing: john 'soap' mactavish x gn!reader

wc: 9.5k (oops)

summary: you receive a series of mysterious gifts from a mysterious admirer.

warnings: longing, yearning, pining, best friends to lovers trope, idiots in love, heavy on the idiots part, tooth-rotting fluff

ao3

over the last two weeks, you’ve noticed some odd things happening around you; a good kind of odd, the kind that left you thoroughly confused, but was heartwarming nonetheless.

after going back and forth with it in your mind, you've come to the conclusion that you have a secret admirer. it was odd, and a little hard to believe, but it was the only option that made any sense to you. in all honesty, it was probably just your hopeless-romantic heart clouding your mind with optimism, but one can dream.

the first incident was harmless enough, a small inconspicuous gesture that was so subtle, in fact, that you barely paid it any notice at first.

it was the dead of night, and you’d just returned from a particularly gruelling solo mission, uninjured but bone tired and desperate to collapse into your bed and finally sleep. before you could fall into the blankets, however, you noticed through the darkness of your room something strange.

resting neatly on your pillow, illuminated by the dim light of your phone screen, was a single bar of your favourite chocolate. you didn’t remember buying it, and certainly didn’t remember leaving it there, but it was exactly the kind of pick-me-up you needed after the day you’d had. at the time, you’d chalked it up to you simply being forgetful, devoured the chocolate in record time, and promptly knocked out.

over breakfast the next morning, you'd recounted to the others the mysterious appearing chocolate as a funny anecdote; the five of you had laughed about your terrible memory, and you'd moved on. but now you weren’t on the verge of blacking out, you couldn’t help but think of it as weird.

for the life of you, you couldn’t remember buying the chocolate bar, and it didn’t make sense that you would leave it on your pillow like that. what did make sense, however bizarre it may seem, was someone else leaving it for you – but you had no idea who would do that for you, or why. either way, you didn't imagine that anything else would come from it.

the next incident happened three days later.

during training that afternoon, you were in the middle of running laps around base, when you’d – stupidly – tripped over a ditch in the ground and rolled your ankle pretty badly. it hurt too much to put any weight on it, so you’d sat there in shame with no choice but to wait for a few minutes until gaz and soap caught up to you.

as they rounded the corner, you'd reluctantly waved them over with a grimace at how your ankle was throbbing in your boot. johnny was immediately crouching by your side, abandoning the idea of training to focus completely on you.

"christ, what happened?" he fussed, worry creasing his face and making your own heat up under the attention.

"i tripped…" you mumbled, dragging a hand over your embarrassed expression. it was bad enough that you'd made such a simple mistake, but now the man you were crushing on, hard, was lifting your leg so gently and untying your laces and you were certain you were moments away from cardiac arrest.

he'd ushered gaz away to continue his run, telling him he'd accompany you to the infirmary with a tone that left no room for argument. not that gaz would've, the knowing look he sent you as he jogged away told you he knew exactly what you were thinking.

after making sure nothing was broken, soap had pulled you to stand with an arm around your waist, supporting you with his solid frame when you stumbled. 

"sure y'don't want me to carry you?" he'd teased, earning a laugh from you as you wobbled in his arms. as you chuckled though, you noticed a hint of what seemed like sincerity in his eyes. you'd felt your face burning again at the implication that he really would carry you, if that's what you'd wanted, and quickly started dragging him along with you in an attempt to hide your flustered state. 

he'd kept his arm around your waist the entire way to the medical wing, only releasing you when you were sat in front of the doctor, which did absolutely nothing to calm your racing heart. to your dismay, he couldn't stay with you – you were still in the middle of training, after all. 

"you sure you'll be alright by yourself?" he'd asked as he left, and the concern in his eyes almost finished you off. you were almost glad he didn't stick around to see the effect he had on you.

luckily, after a quick inspection, the doctor concluded that you only had a minor sprain, and you'd be good as new in a couple of weeks. she'd sent you on your way with an ice pack, a crutch, and strict instructions to stay off your feet.

you would've gone back outside to watch the boys (mainly soap) finish the rest of their exercises, but honestly, the embarrassment of what happened had you wanting to curl up with a pillow over your face for the rest of the day; so that's exactly what you found yourself doing.

you must've drifted off to sleep at some point, because once you finally sat up again, the sun had painted the horizon a bright orange, and your stomach had begun to rumble.

as you went to walk out into the hall, you heard the crinkle of plastic under your boot, pausing you mid‐step. when you looked down, you were stunned to find a bundle of three beautiful white flowers – gardenias, you'd found out after googling them later. an incredibly warm feeling blossomed in your chest, and despite your best efforts, your eyes had welled up with tears. you couldn't even think of the last time someone bought you flowers. there was no note attached, meaning you had no way of knowing who had left them for you, which sent your mind back to the chocolate bar from a few days ago.

so i'm not going crazy, you'd thought to yourself, someone really did leave it for me. but still, you had no clue who this mystery gift-giver could be.

you'd carefully picked them up, being mindful of your ankle, and turned back around to put them in your room. there wasn't really anywhere to put them, so you just set them on the ledge of your windowsill and made a mental note to find a vase for them at some point.

when you eventually made it to the mess hall, there were very few people left, leaving the room unusually calm. ghost was sat by himself at one of the far tables, so you hobbled over on your crutch to sit with him while you ate.

you sat down opposite him, and he'd looked up, gave you a subtle nod, and gone back to eating with his eyes fixed on the table in front of him. the two of you ate like that for a while, sitting quietly in each others presence.

ghost had been the first to break the silence, asking you, "how's the ankle?" as he pulled his balaclava back down to cover his mouth.

"just sprained," you'd replied, looking up to meet his eyes. another beat of silence fell over you, before you continued, "did you see who left me those flowers?" you'd asked him; it was worth a shot, you figured not much gets past ghost. to your dismay, he simply shook his head, standing and mumbling a goodbye as he left.

you were only more confused now. if ghost didn't know who it was – and, granted, you wouldn't actually be able to tell if he was lying, but you trusted him – then who would know? the next day, you'd asked the other boys, but they'd all said the same thing, even the captain. so you were left with nothing to do but wonder who on earth could be leaving you these gifts.

after that, it was another four days until your secret admirer struck again.

you'd been in and out of briefings and debriefings and meetings all day, your mind was beginning to numb with all the information that had been unloaded. you were tired; not quite the same exhaustion you'd felt coming back from your mission earlier in the week, though, this time you were at the end of your rope mentally. there hadn't been a moments peace since you got out of bed, and once that excruciatingly long day was over and you were relaxing in the common room, you'd had no energy to actually engage with your friends.

you were nestled into one end of the sofa with gaz next to you, ghost on his other side, and soap in the armchair with a small book in his hands. they were all chatting, with you occasionally saying a thing or two, but you were mostly just zoned out with their conversation serving as white noise in the background.

occasionally, you'd look up and catch soap already watching you, but he'd quickly turn his gaze back down to his book. his attention caused you to be equal parts flustered and confused. if you'd been any more awake, you probably would've asked him if something was wrong, but you were already having trouble keeping your head up as it was.

once you felt your eyes slip closed one too many times, you'd decided it was time to turn in for the night. with a quick 'goodnight' to the others, you'd made a beeline straight for your room – but it was more of a hobble, since your ankle still required you to walk with a crutch.

that night you'd slept like a baby, waking up early the next morning feeling well rested, and thankfully your ankle had even started to feel better. though you still couldn't join the team's training sessions, you had other responsibilities to fulfil, so unfortinately you did have to get up at some point.

you'd just finished lacing up your boots when you noticed it; a single sheet of paper on the ground by your door, folded once in half so you can't see what's written on it. from where it lays, you conclude that whoever left it must've slipped it through the gap under your door while you slept. you'd picked it up and sat back on the edge of your bed to unfold it, your curiosity certainly piqued. it make you wonder, though, what reason someone could have for leaving you a note.

except, when you'd lifted the page it wasn't a note at all. on the slightly wrinkled paper were a number of beautiful pencil drawings – drawings of you. the surprise of seeing your own face staring back at you nearly stopped your poor heart.

the jagged edge on one side of the page indicated that it must have been torn out of a sketchbook, which had interested you even more. you couldn't think of anyone you knew who could draw, let alone who would have a sketchbook dedicated to it.

whoever made this, it was clear that art was a passion of theirs – these drawings were really good. your hair, your eyes, the subtle expression on your features, every line was expertly crafted. it was incredibly flattering, and admittedly boosted your ego a little with how good those sketches made you look.

as you sat there smiling to yourself, you'd glanced up to the three flowers blooming on your nightstand. like the gardenias, the drawings were from your secret admirer, there was no other explanation; and an admirer they were, it was abundantly clear from these sketches that this person had an appreciation for you, if only from afar.

the drawings had been your favourite so far, but unfortunately, it was almost a week until your admirer made another move.

it had been long enough for you to start walking properly on your ankle again, and so you'd been slowly easing back into your workout routine, starting with your morning run. you'd taken it slow with lots of breaks to rest your muscles, but still decided to call it early, which had you back at your locker earlier than usual. as you were rounding the corner to the locker room, you'd heard the door slam closed and a set of heavy footsteps racing down the corridor. you'd only caught a glimpse of whoever it was as they dashed around the other corner, quick enough that you weren't able to see who it was.

you'd been concerned at first, whoever it was had been in a terrible rush, but you'd quickly shaken it off – it wasn't uncommon for people to be rushing around base, especially first thing in the morning. with your own meeting to get to, you'd decided not to dwell on the strange almost-encounter, and carried on with grabbing your towel from the bench and showering.

as you opened the door to your locker to fetch your clean clothes, sitting front and centre on top of them was something you definitely hadn't left there; a bag of your favourite hard candy, unopened, in the space that had been empty not half an hour before. how did these get here? you'd asked yourself, and you stood there confused for a moment or two before the answer came to you.

of course, your secret admirer. you'd felt the familiar giddy excitement bubble up in your chest at the revelation. it had been a while since the page of drawings had been slipped under your door, and it pained you how the gardenias had begun to wilt already. honestly, you'd been slightly worried that they'd given up, or something had happened to them. thankfully though, they seemed to be doing just fine, and you were too with such a pleasant start to your day.

it wasn't until you were sat in the meeting room, munching on your sweets and waiting for the others to arrive, that you realised.

the person, the one who'd been in a hurry as you got back from your run, it was them; that person was your secret admirer. they had to be, you'd concluded, the sweets weren't in your locker when you'd been in there earlier, and you did cut your run short, so they probably hadn't expected you to return so soon – that's why they'd been in such a rush to get away.

the revelation had butterflies swarming in your stomach, the idea of being so close to finding out who it was that held such fond affection for you sparking giddy excitement in you; but at the same time, it filled you with a sickly apprehension.

the problem was that you already knew who you wanted it to be – you had from the beginning – and you worried that uncovering their identity would only lead to disappointment; because there was no possible way john mactavish could feel the same way you felt about him.

soap had always been nothing short of kind and respectful of you, never stepping over the unspoken line if being your closest friend. sometimes, you can fool yourself into thinking he treats you differently – when he checks in on you after missions, when he always saves you a seat next to him in meetings, when he'd practically carried you to the infirmary, all of it ignited a warm feeling in your chest. but then you think about it a little more, and remember that all those nice gestures, that's just who he is. he wormed his way into the heart of ghost, for fucks sake, it was almost impossible not to like him.

you'd been so lost in thought, that gaz sitting in the seat next to you had startled you back to reality.

"gonna share with the class?" he'd asked with a teasing smirk, gesturing to the sweets sitting on the table in front of you. he'd reached out to grab one, but you'd pushed his hand away and snatched the bag to your chest.

"no way," you'd said with a playful glare, sending a quick smile to soap who'd taken the seat on your other side, "these are from my secret admirer, get your own."

gaz paused. "...your fucking what?" he had an incredulous look on his face, and you'd forgotten that you never actually told the others about it. "soap, you hearin' this?"

soap looked almost panicked when you'd turned to him, but he didn't have time to respond, as that was the moment price had walked through the door and announced the start of the meeting.

"i'll explain after," you whispered to gaz, who gave you a pointed look that said 'you better' and turned his attention back to price. you'd stifled a chuckle and looked back at soap, expecting him to have a similar expression, but he was already facing forward. you'd frowned at this; you and johnny would always whisper back and forth during meetings – a way to keep eachother entertained, as well as an excuse for you to sit close to him – but today his face had an odd air of seriousness to it. oh well, you'd thought somewhat downtrodden, just have to talk to him after.

and that's what led you to the present, where you'd been explaining to the boys everything that has happened over the last two weeks. well, you were mostly telling soap and gaz, ghost honestly didn't seem that interested, though the captain did have a rather amused expression as he listened.

"so you have no idea who it could be?" gaz had turned sideways in his chair, leaning forward slightly with his eyebrows raised. he looked to be in disbelief, and you were almost inclined to feel the same.

"nope, not a clue." you sighed, turning from gaz to look at the others around the table. price was standing with his arms crossed, giving you a similar disbelieving look, and ghost had that familiar unreadable look in his eyes.

"someone went in your room while you were gone?" ghost's low voice caught your attention, "bit creepy, innit," he grumbled, his gaze darting between you and somewhere next to you. he did have a point, you supposed, it was a bit weird.

"well… maybe a little, yeah…" you trailed off. perhaps he had a point, but you found yourself not wanting to believe it; all of the mystery person's gestures had been so sweet, thoughtful, it was hard to think they had any ill intentions.

that, and your heart has already made up its mind about who it should be.

"don't be like that, lt., whoever it is meant well, didn't they?" gaz chuckled, the grin evident in his voice.

"christ…" ghost mutters, shaking his head in exasperation.

"it may be a slight invasion of privacy…" you begin; and it's true, but after the first incident, it didn't appear that anyone had been inside your room again. "but it was only once. and it was just a chocolate bar, it's harmless. besides, are you really telling me you've never been in anyone's room when they're not there?" you continued, earning only an eye roll from ghost.

"and you haven't tried to figure out who it is?" price asks from his position standing opposite you, across the table.

"no, i wouldn't even know where to start, it could be anyone…" you try to think of anyone to suspect, but your optimistic mind only draws one name; the object of your affection, who happened to be sitting directly next to you. unfortunately, the two of you were strictly friends – no matter how much you longed for something more.

"i think you should investigate," gaz's smile makes you think for a moment that he knows something that you don't, but you brush it off. he didn't even know about your admirer until you told him, how could he? it wasn't like they were leaving any hints. "whoever it is obviously really likes you."

"you think?" you unwrap another sweet and pop it into your mouth as you consider his words.

"yeah! and, we could even help you investigate," gaz gives the others a hopeful, if slightly suspicious, smirk.

"speak for yourself…" ghost leans back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest, the picture of uninterested, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"could be a good bonding exercise," price had the same entertained tone in his voice as he looked between the four of you, "any thoughts, soap?"

you hadn't realised until the captain brought attention to him, but soap had been uncharacteristically quiet during all this; since before the meeting, actually. he hadn't said a word to you yet today, which had you a little worried. usually the two of you couldn't shut up when you were together. you turn to look at him, and find him looking wide-eyed back at price.

"i don't– ah, maybe…" he stuttered, looking between price and the table rather than meeting your concerned eyes, "...they're just shy? don't want to be known yet?"

"oh, y'think, mate?" gaz fully laughed at that, sharing a look with both ghost and price that held something you couldn't understand. now you're thoroughly confused.

"well, maybe he's right," uncertainty laced your voice, their reactions throwing you for a loop. "if they wanted to be known, they probably would've shown themselves by now, right?" you turn to soap, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else – but he meets your gaze with a tiny smile.

"so you're not going to investigate?" you look back at gaz, who has that incredulous look back on his face, and from the corner of your eye you see price and ghost both shake their heads.

"they can show themselves when they're ready, i don't want to push them." your mind was made up; if your secret admirer wanted to reveal their identity, then they would, it's as simple as that.

"but–" gaz tries to argue, but price quickly interrupts him.

"right, enough, you lot, clear out, you've all got work to be getting on with." he gestures for you all to stand, and after grabbing your sweets, you follow the others out of the room.

for the rest of the day, you endured endless amounts of teasing from gaz, and he even got some of the people from other units in on it. it had your face burning when they cooed over how romantic your 'mystery lover' was. you could only pray that they got over it soon, in the back of your mind you were slightly worried the attention might scare off your admirer, and you certainly didn't want that. but although you told the others you'd wait for them to reveal themselves in their own time, you'd be lying if you said you weren't practically dying to know who it was.

✹✹✹

"hey sarge," a voice sounds from beside you, drowning out the din of the mess hall around you. turning your head, you see it's a private; one you don't really know, but you give her a polite smile anyway. "i've got a message for you." she continues, producing a folded piece of paper from behind her back.

"a message? who from?" you ask, taking the paper from her when she holds it out to you.

she giggles, giving you a sly smile, "a secret someone," and with a suspicious wink, she turned around and left.

with the note in your hand, you look to gaz and soap, a baffled expression on your face. "does she mean my… admirer?" they both shrug at you, sharing an equally perplexed look between themselves.

"go on then," gaz says, "what does it say?"

you unfold it, and scan the neat handwriting of the message. soap and gaz watch as you read it, their curiosity overwhelmingly present in the way they leaned forward to try and see.

your face falls, and you frown. the note was signed – 'your secret admirer' – but you couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in your heart.

"what's up? what does it say?" gaz notices the change in your expression, standing up from his chair and leaning fully over the table to read the note himself. you hand it to him, your good mood from this morning completely soured.

"apparently it is from my admirer," you begin, not bothering to hide the dejection in your voice, "telling me to meet them outside in five minutes."

the pair don't say anything, too stunned to form words as they continue to frown at the words in front of them. this can't be right, it just can't be, your mind laments, if johnny is sitting here, that that means he's not–

"seriously? just like that?" gaz interrupts your thoughts. he sounded annoyed underneath his shock, and you find yourself feeling the same way. "sorry, but i find that hard to believe – they didn't even leave a card with the flowers, did they? it just doesn't feel right to me."

you look to soap, who has yet to say anything on the matter. he doesn't meet your eyes, boring holes into the table with the anger in his gaze. your frown only deepens at his expression, the look on his face so unlike him it almost has you forgetting all about the cause.

"who knows," you sigh, plucking the note back out of gaz's hand. "this probably won't take long, i'll–"

"wait, you're going?" soap interjects, the frown on his face set much deeper than your own. his sudden question caught you off guard, paired with his irritated expression, and you almost thought he was angry with you.

"yeah, i mean, what's the harm, right? might as well just get it over with." you stand as you respond, folding the note back up. even if you were setting yourself up for disappointment, you still wanted to at least hear this person out; even if it wasn't him.

"what's the harm?" johnny scoffs – at you or at very idea of all this you aren't sure – and joins you in standing up, throwing his arms out with such annoyance, it catches you off guard. he gestures sharply at the paper in your hand, "this– whoever that is, it's pure shite! you can't see that?"

now it's you who scoffs at him; where is this hostility coming from? yesterday he seemed as though he couldn't care less when you were telling everyone about it, and now all of a sudden, he thinks he has all the answers?

"how would you know?" you shove the note into your pocket, your earlier sadness quickly morphing into annoyance.

as you move to walk away, johnny looks like he wants to say something more, to stop you, and you hesitate. you want him to; whoever your admirer was, whoever that note was from, none of it meant a thing if it wasn't him. all you wanted was for him to look at you the same way you look at him. gaz is looking at him too, subtly gesturing for him to do something, but he doesn't speak, doesn't meet your eyes as your face drops again.

"exactly, you don't. i'll be back in a minute." you huff, and without another word from either of them, you turn on your heel and make your way out of the mess hall.

it's safe to say your mood had swiftly and effectively been ruined. the disillusionment of realising that your secret admirer was someone other than johnny was one thing, but his sudden attitude towards you was the final straw. your face was decidedly sour as you trudge through the corridors, still with a slight limp which was only fuelling your annoyance for how your day was going. 

the cool air of the courtyard makes your skin bristle as you push the door open, taking a moment to survey the area as you stand in the entryway. to the left stands a lone figure, and you recognise his face, but – like the private from earlier, who you assume is his friend – you can't remember ever having spoken to him. with a deep sigh, you blink away bitterness in your expression and make your way over to him.

his grin is wide as he shamelessly checks you out while you approach, and you instinctually cross your arms over your chest. you come to a stop in front of him, frowning in a look that you hope screams uninterested.

"hey, sarge." he has an overly confident air to him as he speaks, shuffling closer under your scrutinising stare. of course he wouldn't take the hint.

"so it's you, then?" you ask, your voice flat and void of any emotion. you just wanted this to be over with, but it seemed luck just wasn't on your side today.

"it's me," he confirms, the blinding grin still plastered to his face as he inches even closer, "you surprised?"

"yeah, actually. i didn't know you were an artist." you reply, voice flat, and you watch him blink once in surprise. you raise a brow at his bewilderment, your patience already wearing painfully thin. he chuckles awkwardly in an attempt to hide how you so obviously caught him off guard.

"ah, yeah i uh–" he stutters, but you cut him off before he can make too much of a fool of himself.

"in fact, i don't actually know you at all. i couldn't recall your name even if you held a gun to my head." the hiss in your voice reveals just how over this whole situation you are. he opens his mouth to spout something else you have no interest in hearing, the sleazy grin falling from his face, but you hold a hand up to silence him. "so i'd really appreciate it if you left me alone."

"but–"

"and stay out of my room, and my locker, too. if it happens again, you're getting reported." you spit the final words at him, and turn on your heel to leave. before you can take another step, he grabs your elbow and spins you back around to face him, causing your ankle to twist awkwardly, which sends a fresh jolt of pain up your leg. you hold back a groan and fix him with a deadly glare instead.

"hey, c'mon, don't be like that!" you wince as he practically demands, getting much closer to you than was necessary, even with you arching backwards to put some space between you. "at least gimme a chance,"

"just leave me alone." you hiss, pulling your arm out of his grip and before he has the chance to do or say anything else, you hurry back the way you came, your limp noticeably more pronounced than earlier. thankfully, the private – jackson, you’d just about been able to read on his jacket – didn’t follow you back to the mess hall, which proves that he has at least half a brain. you hoped that he’d take the hint to stay away from you, but somewhere in the back of your mind you were preparing yourself to be hassled by him in the coming days; he certainly seemed the type.

you were gone less than ten minutes, but in that time most of the lunch crowd had cleared out, leaving the room a lot quieter than it had been. as you shuffle towards soap and gaz, still sitting at the same table, they both turn to look at you, and you can tell by the way both their expressions drop that they sense something is off.

"what happened?" gaz asks as you take your seat across from them, trying to hold back a wince when you put too much strain on your ankle, "your face says it didn't go well."

you sigh, looking between both of them, lingering on soap who’s already watching you with an intensity that has your face heating up. "it didn’t. it was just some private who can’t take no for an answer." you grumble, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand.

"your ankle okay?" soap asks, holding your gaze until you relent and look away first. you want to tell him not to worry, but you find it's impossible to lie to him, not when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the room. "what happened?" he presses, his voice taking on a dangerous tone.

"its nothing, he just– i just twisted it a little." you trip over your words under his stare, looking to gaz for help, but you find that he has a similar – albeit less intense – look of concern on his face. the silence hangs between you for a moment as you wordlessly try to convince them, but they see through you. "alright, fine. when i was leaving, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, and i pulled my ankle."

if johnny had been pissed before, he was furious now; his eyes were dark underneath his furrowed brow, his lips turned down in a frown that looked more like a snarl. to see someone usually so easygoing with such a threatening look on his face was almost worrying, the only reassurance being that you know it's not directed at you.

"that prick… who was it?" gaz isn't nearly as affected as soap, but he's clearly annoyed by the audacity of the private. you shake your head, urging them to just let it go; he wasn't worth the trouble, after all.

when johnny says your name in that deep, gravelly tone, your heart skips a beat and your eyes snap to meet his. "who was it." he asks, but it's not a question anymore, and every fibre of your being is telling you to just give in to him.

"jackson. i don't know his first name…" you mutter, slightly flustered by the way he's acting. the tension in the silence that follows is nearly suffocating. from where his arms rest on the table, you notice johnny repeatedly clenching his fists, seemingly having some sort of internal battle with himself.

"what a bellend…" gaz grumbles, pausing for a moment to shake the disgust from his face. "so, what about the whole 'secret admirer' thing then?" he leans back in his chair, eyes darting to soap's profile then back to you.

"i don't know…" you sigh, "didn't really seem like something he was capable of, but i guess i don't really know him, so–"

"yeah, he doesn't seem the type, does he?" gaz interjects, with a newfound energy at your words. you narrow you eyes, sensing an ulterior motive, but let him continue. "i mean, buying you flowers, sweets– seems a bit too thoughtful for such a twat."

his jab coaxed a laugh from you, "maybe; i guess i was pretty disappointed when i saw it was him, though."

"oh yeah? expecting someone else, were you?" gaz has a grin on his face, one that has you worried that he's clocked on to your true feelings.

"something like that…" you clear your throat, suddenly feeling a little too seen for your liking. "anyway, i'd better get going, desk duty is no joke," you slowly stand up, making sure to be careful of your newly irritated ankle, and adamantly avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"yeah, me too, cap said he needs my help with something." gaz stands as well, giving soap a pat on the back and a suspicious wink as he walks off, which you willfully choose to ignore.

"you gonna be okay?" johnny comes to your side as you shuffle around the table, his hand brushing over your back to support you. butterflies begin to flutter at the feeling, and you scold yourself for being so easily affected. he seems to have calmed down a lot, the anger from earlier overtaken by his concern.

"yeah, i'll be fine, i think i'll just have to grab my crutch," you smile at him and take a step forward, wincing as you shift your weight from one foot to the other.

"c'mon, lemme help you," he tilts his head to meet your eyes, his worry evident within them. his hand is warm on your back, you have to hold yourself back from leaning into him. "cannae have you hurtin' yourself any more."

"you sure? don't you have work to do too?" you have every intention of taking him up on his offer, but you couldn't help feeling guilty for needing his help like this.

"i'm sure lt. can survive a few extra minutes," johnny gives you a reassuring smile, already ushering you out of the mess hall.

"well, don't blame me when has your head," you grin back at him, relishing in the comfortable feeling of being so close to him. distracted by his proximity, you momentarily forget about your injury and without thinking, you put too much weight on it as you take a step. with a pained gasp, you wobble on your good foot and pause to give your ankle a break.

johnny moves his arm to sit securely around your waist, gently pulling you to lean fully against him. "you sure you don't want me to take you to the infirmary?" he asks, lifting your arm to wrap around his shoulders.

"no, no– they're just gonna tell me to rest, and i'll be sitting down all day anyway," you move to continue on your way to your room, but he stays put. 

"you should still get it looked at, might be–"

"johnny." you stop him with a hand on his chest, "i'm okay."

you watch his adams apple bob as he gulps, his eyes flickering to where your hand is touching him and back up to your own, almost too fast to notice.

"right, right. sorry." he dips his head, breaking eye contact. you pull him gently, and the two of you start walking again. "you know jackson well?"

you scoff, frowning as you recall the events of earlier. "what? no, before today i didn't even know his name. he seems like kind of an arsehole, to be honest."

"really? made that bad of an impression, eh?" his lopsided smile feels oddly smug, but you decide not to overthink it.

"like i said, can't take a no." you grumble, pinching the bridge of your nose with your free hand, "i doubt this is the last time i'll have to deal with him…"

"he's not gonna bother you." johnny states, with a finality that is as stunning as it is comforting.

"...if you say so." you don't press any further, wanting to simply move on and forget about the whole thing. you'd gladly never think about that arrogant private again.

before you know it, the two of you are standing in the hall outside your room. his grip around your waist loosens as you push open the door, and you're all too aware of the cold feeling left behind as he lets go.

"thank you, for helping me." you shoot him a grateful smile, grabbing your crutch from where it leant against the wall, propping it under your arm.

"course," johnny pauses, looking past you to something in your room. "you… kept the gardenias?" he asks, his voice quiet, almost disbelieving. you tilt your head, a silent question, but he's still staring at the flowers.

"yeah, they're…" you begin, but his words have you pausing too; he didn't seem like the kind of person to be interested in floristry, you'd certainly never heard him say anything about it before. but somehow, he'd identified the flowers on your end table with no problem. "...they're nice. i like them, even if they do look a little sad now."

when he finally meets your eyes again, there's a distinct redness to his face that wasn't there before, and you feel your heart beginning to race with renewed hope. it could be that he just likes flowers, but if he already knew they were gardenias, maybe he…

"right, i, uh– i should get going, or ghost might actually kill me." johnny's voice had a dazed quality to it when he spoke.

"alright, i'll see you later then," you give him a small smile as you step back into the hall next to him. the two of you look at each other for a moment before you speak again, holding back a laugh, "you gonna go, or just stand there all day?"

your words seem to snap him out of the trance he’d been in, and he shakes his head in an almost comical manner, "right! right, sorry, bye!" he sputters, waving over his shoulder as he jogs away. you chuckle to yourself as he goes, and start walking the opposite direction to get started with your own work.

✹✹✹

you didn't see soap again until the next day, considering that he was strangely absent from mealtimes both last night and today. thankfully the incident from the day before hadn't done any further damage to your ankle, so you were up and about without the need for your crutch after a good night's rest.

you'd just dropped off a folder of paperwork in price's office – which you'd completed in fairly good time, thanks to being stuck behind a desk for nearly two weeks – but as you descend the staircase, you're almost knocked over by someone flying around the corner. you caught yourself with a hand on the railing, blinking away your surprise and glaring at whoever had carelessly bumped into you.

much to your chagrin, it was jackson, and you feel your face naturally falling into a frown at the realisation. you’d been expecting him to try and change your mind about yesterday, but true to johnny’s words, he had yet to bother you about it; actually, you hadn’t seen him at all since then, not even at breakfast or lunch, but it's not as if you were complaining. 

though, as you stare down at him from the step above, you notice a deep purple bruise decorating his cheekbone that definitely wasn’t there yesterday. your frown turns from malice to confusion as you wonder how he could have gotten it in the span of less than a day, it looked like he’d taken a serious punch. you couldn’t say you felt bad for him, but it did look painful.

"listen, about yesterday… i- i lied,." jackson mutters, eyes glued to the floor to avoid your own. he was shuffling in place, as if he was preparing to bolt at any second. your eyes narrow as you process his words.

"what?"

he clears his throat. "i lied. it wasn’t me, i just said it was because one of the guys bet me i couldn’t get you to go out with me." he admits. the way he keeps avoiding your eyes, glancing around like he was waiting for someone to jump out at him has you a little suspicious, but your heart still soars when you realise what he means.

jackson wasn't your secret admirer, so your hopeless romantic heart could still dream that it was johnny. the flutter of butterflies even distracts you from the insulting notion that he only wanted to go out with you for a bet.

"seriously?" you ask, your shock evident in your voice as you stare him down. finally his eyes land on your own, an embarrassed grimace overtaking his nervous expression. it's a stark, satisfying difference to his arrogant overconfidence from before.

"yeah. i’m sorry, okay? i don’t want any trouble, it was just–" he cuts himself off, but when you give him a questioning look, he can't tear his eyes from the space behind you, and only mumbles what sounds like a ‘sorry’ before scurrying off back the way he came. you watch him go, thoroughly confused by the whole interaction, but not a moment later a voice from where he was staring brings you out of your thoughts.

"y’alright? little shit wasn’t botherin’ you, was he?" soap's voice cuts through the quiet, and you turn to see him descending the stairs to stand next to you.

you shake your head, "no, no, he just–" you hesitate, your mind going back to yesterday and the gardenias. "he lied, it wasn't him."

"really?" he asks, but his voice doesn't sound surprised at all. you're not sure if you imagined it, but for a moment his expression changes into something like satisfaction.

"yeah, he was about to say something else too, but he just ran off," you sigh, walking down the last few steps. soap follows close behind, a hand hovering near your back. "did you see that bruise on his face? wonder how he got it…"

"looked nasty, eh?" a laugh escapes him, and you admire the way his lips curve, the creases around his eyes as his smile reaches them. "maybe he finally got what was comin' to him."

his face was close to yours, a lot closer than you could reasonably handle without losing your nerve and making a fool of yourself. realising you had yet to respond, you clear your throat and start walking down the corridor, your eyes to the floor and a burning in your cheeks.

"if he never speaks to me again, it'll still be too soon…" you grumble, willing your heart to calm down as he comes up next to you in a few long strides. "anyway, what have you been up to? i haven't seen you all day." with a quick glance, you see the easy smile he has falter slightly.

"i was, ah–" he avoids your eye as he stops himself, a beat of silence passes before he continues "nevermind, i– i was… looking for you." your heart skips a beat, but you scold it for being so eager; the two of you were teammates, friends, he could be looking for you for any number of reasons.

"looking for me? what's up?" you turn your head to face him as you walk, a curious tilt to your brow.

johnny comes to a stop, and so do you a moment after. he looks at you, fidgety and shifting on his feet, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. the look on his face is unsure, uncomfortable, like he was debating running off like jackson had done a minute ago.

he's nervous, that much you can tell. but despite the slightly awkward tension, you you wait for whatever it is he's struggling to say.

"i… uh– y'know what, i actually forgot." johnny hangs his head, pulling his hands from his pockets and scratching the back of his neck.

at his words your heart sinks, and you can't help the disappointed look that takes over your expression. "oh? are you–"

before you can finish, he drops a hand on your shoulder and steps ahead of you, turning around so you're face to face. "listen, ghost is waiting for me, so i gotta run," he smiles again, but it's weaker this time, almost forced as it doesn't quite meet his eyes.

"right… better not keep him waiting."

"right," his reply is short, and the tension between you only grows every moment he avoids your eyes. "i'll see you later though, promise." he flashes you another false smile, gently patting your shoulder, before turning on his heel and swiftly escaping down the corridor.

"bye, johnny." you release a sigh, from longing or exasperation you're not sure, watching his form disappear through the doors.

✹✹✹

despite his promise, once again you don't see soap for the rest of the day. at dinner you'd questioned ghost on his whereabouts, but he only told you that he had no idea either. this time however, you got the strong feeling he was lying to you.

still though, you couldn't find it within yourself to be annoyed with him. you could see clear as day that something was going on with johnny, and if he didn't want to confide in you about whatever it is, then you certainly won't be the one to push him.

having finished today's obligations, you decided to head straight to your room once you'd finished eating. you open your door, a sigh escaping you as you prepare to collapse for the night, and stop dead in your tracks.

a folded sheet of paper lays in front of you, standing out against the emptiness of your floor, crumpled like it had been screwed up and flattened out again. a sense of déjà vù overcomes you, for last week, when you'd received the sketches of yourself in the same way. for a moment all you can do is stand there, staring at the paper, processing.

eventually, you do step into your room, shutting the door quietly behind you and picking the paper up from the floor. you keep it folded until you're sitting on the edge of your mattress, hands shaking ever so slightly with the anticipation.

you're not sure what to think, as you sit burning holes in the paper with your stare. after yesterday, you thought you were done with the idea of your secret admirer; but then again, jackson had admitted to you earlier that he'd lied when he met you yesterday, and the whole reason you weren't as interested after that was because your pipe dream of the mystery person being johnny had been shattered. but now that the identity of your admirer was once again a mystery, you couldn't help but want to dream like that again. 

with a defeated groan, you decide to just rip off the bandaid and read the note. you unfold it, immediately noticing the scratchy handwriting – the opposite of the note jackson gave you, so thankfully it couldn't be from him.

you hear your heartbeat in your ears as your eyes scan the words in front of you.

i stayed up all night trying to write this note, but nothing i came up with felt good enough, so i'm just going to say it. i'm your secret admirer. i know you probably won't believe me after that bastard yesterday, but i need you to know anyway. i used to think that love just wasn't my thing, that i'd never find someone i wanted to spend my life with, but that changed when i met you. i didn’t realise it at first, but it's always been you. you're my person, and i can't hide it anymore. i love you. maybe i'm a coward for giving you a note instead of telling you face to face. but if you don't feel the same, you can throw it away, or burn it or something, and i'll never bring it up again. your heart, johnny

the silence in your room borders on deafening as you sit completely still, reeling from what you'd just read. you didn't realise you'd stopped breathing until you release a shaky breath.

all this time, it was johnny.

every longing glance, every touch that lingered just a little too long, the racing pulse every time he says your name; it was all reciprocated.

every time you thought you could never have him as anything more than your best friend, you were wrong.

he cared enough to leave you a pick-me-up after a hard mission, buy you flowers when you got injured, draw you the way he saw you, gift you things he took the time to notice you like.

all this time… he'd felt the exact same way you do.

you set the note down next to you, bringing a shaky hand up to cover your mouth that had fallen open in shock. there was only one thing to do, in your mind, and that was to run into johnny's arms and make up for all the lost time you've spent pining over him.

in seemingly no time at all, you find yourself standing at johnny's door, your fist poised to knock. theres a moment of hesitation, but before your apprehension can cloud your mind, you let your knuckles rap on the wood once, twice, three times, and take a step back as you wait for a response. after a second or two – which felt a lot longer than it actually was – you hear the sounds of footsteps from inside.

another moment passes, and you assume johnny is standing on the other side with his heart in his throat just like you, short-lived before he finally swings the door open.

he looks at you, eyes wide and like a deer caught in headlights, the way he holds himself uncharacteristically shy as you stare each other down.

"the note," you finally murmur, and johnny almost flinches, clearly fighting the urge to look away from you. "tell me you meant it." you continue, taking a miniscule step closer to him. you hear his breath catch in his chest.

"every word." he whispers, gaze flickering down to your lips and back up to your eyes again, and your heart misses a beat.

with no hesitation this time, you hook your arms around his neck and pull him towards you, crushing his mouth against yours in a desperate kiss that's as much teeth as it is lips.

johnny groans into your mouth, his hands flying to your waist as he turns and walks you backwards into his room. the door gets kicked shut behind him once he's got you inside, neither of you breaking apart more than enough to draw a single ragged breath before meeting in the middle again. with another needy whine into you he pushes you up against the wall, caging you in with his broad shoulders and his arms around your waist.

the weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his stubble prickly against your face, the softness of his lips against yours; it's everything you've been waiting for, and now you finally have him, he tastes sweeter than you could've ever imagined.

the two of you stay like that for moments that feel like hours in each other's embrace, only pulling away when your lungs are burning and your lips are swollen. leaning your head back against the wall, his eyes meet yours with such adoration it sends your heart fluttering all over again.

"i'll take that as a good sign," he mumbles, a lopsided grin lifting his features. his joy is so infectious you can't help but mirror his expression as you drop your head to rest on his shoulder.

his chest rumbles with an airy, disbelieving laugh and he tugs you impossibly closer, resting his cheek against the side of your head. standing chest to chest now, you can feel the hammering of his heart against yours and the way his skin burns under your touch.

"you’re my person too," you murmur into him, one of your hands moving up to tangle in the strands of his mohawk, "always have been."

johnny's arms wind tighter around you as he releases a deep, content sigh. he's hugged you countless times before but somehow, this feels different while still staying exactly the same. the heat radiating from him is soothing like it always has been, the knowledge that your feelings are reciprocated only making it that much sweeter.

"why'd it take us so long, eh?" he utters, tender and loving in the way he runs his hands over your back and sides.

"we're just idiots…" you reply, "gaz is gonna have a field day with this."

johnny laughs again, pressing his lips to the side of your head so you can feel his smile. "oh, he clocked us a long time ago, bonnie."

you can't help but groan as you imagine how gaz will tease the both of you for how oblivious you've both been.

he lifts you up by his grip around your waist, carrying you over to his bed and flopping down onto his back with you on his chest. a satisfied groan escapes him as he settles, burying his face into your hair and inhaling a deep breath.

you're enveloped by the scent of him – gunpowder, and the faint smell of something burnt, but it's pleasant and familiar nonetheless.

"yer stayin' with me tonight, non negotiable." he murmurs, running a hand up and down the length of your spine.

"fine by me." you tilt your head up to meet his eyes, and find them already locked on you. "so, about jackson…"

johnny scoffs, lightheartedly frowning in response. "yer gonna bring his name up while yer in my bed?"

"he looked really spooked when he saw you earlier," you begin, smoothing your hand over his chest. his eyes widen at your words, his hand freezing as he looks away from you with a distinctly guilty expression on his face. you narrow your eyes, holding back the amused smirk pulling at your lips. "johnny… did you…"

he clears his throat, and by the way he can't hold your gaze for more than a second you can tell he knows he's been caught. there's no stopping the laugh that bubbles up from your chest at his reaction.

"...i may have, uh– potentially put some fear o'god into the little bawbag…"

"soap!"

[yandere-daydreams]

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who arrives at the sanctuary where you volunteer in the dead of winter. He's brought in by a group of hunters who found him in a decade-old bear trap on the verge of freezing to death. He's aggressive at first, still rattled from such a close call, but comes around quickly after a warm bath, a visit with your on-call vet, and of course, something to fill his stomach.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who can't be released back into the wild while he's still in recovery or left alone overnight, not when he's so eager to play fight with the other hybrids. He gets along well enough with all the volunteers, but he's constantly trying to get your attention, either sulking as you tend to another hybrid or drinking in your generously-given affection. You're clearly his favorite, so you're the one to take him home. He's ecstatic about the change in scenery, to say the least.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who takes to being a housepet like a fish takes to water. You try to make up for the lack of stimulation with a never-ending supply of thrifted toys and as many walks as his injured leg will allow, but he prefers to spend most of his time curled up at your feet or trailing after you, ginger ears perked-up and blur eyes wide and bright. He's surprisingly good at household chores for a wild animal. By the end of the first week, he's cooking and cleaning on his own, and when you insist that he's your guest, that you don't want him to get too domesticated, he just laughs and tells you that he likes it, that he's used to hunting for his siblings. Since you won't let him bring the birds and rabbits he catches past the front door, this is how he's decided to provide for you.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who destroys your apartment the first time you leave him alone for more than an hour. It makes sense, even if you can't say you've ever seen another hybrid react so violently to being separated from their handler. Foxes are social animals, and he hasn't been on his own since he was brought to your sanctuary, since the day he stumbled into a trap he couldn't understand or struggle his way out of. Still, when you come home to find all his toys gutted and all of your furniture overturned, you can't say you're thrilled. Childe spends the rest of the day buried in your sheets, pouting until you finally give in and forgive him. Childe goes wherever you go, after that.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who suddenly seems a lot less friendly than he did, when you first took him in. You try to write it off as him being overly protective of his temporary skulk, but it's a little hard to tell that to your male friends when he bares his teeth and snaps at their hands. In public, he refuses to leave your side, his tail constantly thrashing and his ears pressed flush to his scalp. He'll still smile, laugh, promise he doesn't get jealous that easily, but it's difficult to take his word for it when he holds your hand so tightly.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who's been scenting you in your sleep for weeks, nuzzling into the crook of your neck and gripping at any flesh he can reach and humping your thighs until he inevitably climaxes and has to clean his cum off of your skin with his tongue. He makes a point of 'accidentally' staining anything he doesn't want you wearing in front of anyone but him, letting you think he's too vulnerable to his animalistic urges to not mark your favorite top with his cum, that his separation anxiety is just too severe for you to shower without him, let alone close the door when you change.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, whose leg has been fine for months. You're too much of a bleeding heart not to buy it when he puts on a half-hearted limp, and while he hates having to lie to his future mate, he hates being away from you more. It's not a permanent arrangement, either - he'll be able to tell you the truth when you're fully bonded, when you're heavy with his pups and coming undone on his knot every night, every minute he can get with you.

Fox Hybrid!Childe, who's not going to let anyone take him away from his precious mate now <3

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Chapter 7

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

Trying to balance good writing with getting out chapters quickly so bare with me!

Content warnings - violence and death, cursing

“It’s a clock!” Katniss exclaims. “Wiress, you’re a genius!”

Katniss explains to the group how the arena works, making you realize that you running into the tribute during the lightning was just a coincidence, and the lightning didn’t always mean danger.

The group decides to go to the cornucopia to survey the arena and test their theory. You would like to grab a weapon but you don’t know if that’s allowed. Katniss already confiscated the arrow she shot you with so all you have is a weak arm and an injured arm.

Finnick walks between you and Peeta, with Katniss behind him. You really need to earn her trust back if you’re going to stay with the group, although, you don’t know how much she trusted you to begin with.

Katniss and Peeta warily eye you as you look through the weapons, trying to find a knife or two. Too many large weapons will just slow you down. You’d rather just have a few knives on you.

“She’s fine,” you hear Finnick tell the pair. “It’s safer for us that she is armed in case we get attacked. She’s already told me she doesn’t want to kill you so I doubt she’ll throw any knives your way. She knows the difference between doing damage in a fight and killing. Just give her space and don’t act so on edge around her. She’s doing her best.”

Katniss lowers her bow but doesn’t make any move to distance herself from you. It seems like the guarding followed you from the capital to the arena.

The group sits down as Peeta draws a map of the arena. Wiress goes down to the water to clean off some wire Beetee got that you assume is for his big smart plan.

“Did you see anything where you went?” Finnick asks you. You shake your head and just point at the lightning Peeta drew on the map.

“Just lightning?” he confirms and you nod your head. Looking at the map, you’re glad you only ended up with lightning. The rest of the jungle looks terrifying.

The group begins chatting about birds in mines when you hear a sudden gasp. You all turn to see Gloss slitting Wiress’ throat. If the capital wanted you to act feral, they were about to get a show.

It happened so fast. Katniss shot Gloss before Johanna threw an axe into Cashmere, killing her instantly. You noticed Brutus and Enobaria going for Finnick and Katniss but you were too far away to stop the knife Enobaria threw from sinking into Finnick thigh. She’s dead.

You charge at her, screaming like a wild animal. She seems ready for your attack, however, and positions herself for your oncoming blow. You collide with her, sending both of you to the ground.

There’s no time to reach for the blade tucked into your belt. You claw at her face, drawing blood, as she attempts to push you off her. She’s successful in rolling the two of you over, putting herself on top. You go to grab for a knife when her teeth sink into your wrist, shooting pain through your whole body. It’s a shock she didn’t bite your whole hand off.

That’s when the cornucopia starts spinning. Enobaria leaps off of you and tries her best to escape with Brutus while the rest of the group is caught off guard by the movement. You clutch onto the rocks with your good arm but you can feel yourself slipping.

Katniss falls off the same time you do, sending both of you into the water. Even with your bad arm, you’re still a better swimmer, so when the water calms you’re able to orient yourself.

You spot Katniss struggling to find the surface a few yards away from you, so you dive back under and swim to her. Bracing yourself for human contact, you grab her arm and start propelling her to the surface. It takes her a second to realize you’re helping, especially with the amount of blood you’re releasing into the water, but she swims with you till you reach air again.

Peeta helps her out of the water, checking to make sure she’s ok. You do your best to pull yourself up but you’re in too much pain. Finnick takes notice and grabs onto you, yanking you onto the rocks.

He doesn’t even have to say what you’re thinking. The bite looks bad. It’s hard to tell if Enobaria punctured the vein in your wrist but you think she did due to the amount it’s bleeding.

“Johanna,” Finnick calls. “Do we have any bandages left?”

“Nope,” she shouts. “The only ones we had went to Volts.”

“Shit,” he mutters, trying to figure out what to do. He uses your knife to cut the arm off your wetsuit, apologizing that he had to cut yours as his was destroyed by the fog. He wraps the fabric tightly around your wrist, trying to stop the bleeding.

“This should work until we can get some sponsors to send us something better,” he states. You shake your head at him. Sponsors wouldn’t send you anything. You were on your own.

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[theminecraftbee]

this is so funny. joe has basically begrudgingly adopted oli because he's the only hermitcraft member online and oli manages to keep dying and needing a rescue so joe just. keeps on flying off to help him. it's like we have a very pathetic rescue bird or something and we keep on TRYING to release him back into the wild but then he immediately goes and gets injured again before he can acclimate,

[balkanradfem]

So, I've decided to start learning biology.

My education left me with only primary school biology knowledge, because I had zero biology lessons in high school, and now I find myself sorely lacking in knowledge. Which is inconvenient, now that I'm sick and have no idea what to do. I didn't know where to start, but my roommate is in high school right now, and I borrowed her biology textbook to get myself started.

The biology textbook was so misinformed and outdated it made me worry for the education system. Not only they didn't update any info from the last 40 years, some of the info was completely wrong. For instance, it claims there's 6 billion people on the planet (there's 8), and that there's 6 empires of all living things (there's 8, and some of the old ones have been renamed and disputed). I learned quickly to fact-check every bit of information on wikipedia, and this is where I found some truly astounding info that I had no idea about.

If you all have learned this in highschool and it's common knowledge, please excuse me, but I am shocked.

One of the first topics the book covers is evolutionary history of the planet, and it explains how blue-green algae were the first historic plants to produce a lot of oxygen, which sounds like a positive development for us, because most of the living things right now thrive on oxygen. But, looking it up wikipedia uncovered that it was in fact, an extinction event. Most of life on earth was at that point, thriving in non-oxygen environment, and the introduction of oxygen killed 85% of all living species on earth. It was a huge disaster that happened! It's called 'Great Oxidation Event', or the 'Oxygen Catastrophe'.

But that's not all, I found out that it was not only that which destroyed almost all life on earth, but there's been 5 different events in the history that destroyed close to 80% of all species on the planet, and for some of them we don't even know why. We only found proof that lots of species disappeared at all times and the dominant species on the planet rapidly changed, but no idea why, for some of them it's assumed it has to do with volcanoes or ice, and of them that is well known is the meteor, that ended the big dinosaurs.

I never realized how much of evolution was destruction and then starting over, this was shocking to me. It was also fascinating, I found myself following links and learning more about extinction events, also that we're currently in the extinction event caused by humans who are driving lots of species into extinction by taking over their habitats, which made me sad.

At this point I started reading other, biology-related materials, for example, I read a book named 'What an Owl Knows', which is written by Jennifer Ackerman, an owl scientist who studied owls her entire life; now I know more about owls. I also started listening to an audio book about the ocean, and this one proved to be very difficult to follow, but I'll tell you what I learned from both.

The owl book was charming, I found out that owls are the most quiet, soundless birds when they fly, because their wings and feathers are the biggest part of their bodies. This is how they manage to swoop up prey without anyone hearing a single flap. They're also very silent and subtle. Unless you're studying owls, you won't be able to tell if the owl is startled, or scared, because she will sit very still and not give you any clues. Smaller owls can go into their 'freeze' response easily if they're being hunted, because their instinct is to be still and not move when in danger! It can make you feel like the owl is not scared, since she's not moving, but she is most likely not comfortable if anyone is approaching her.

Owls have similar faces to our faces, and they're very charismatic to us; this is why baby owls, and injured owls in human care, can sometimes imprint on humans. This is bad news for the owls, because once it happens, they can never again be released into the wild, they'll either never learn to hunt, or they'll act towards humans, like they do to other owls - brawling, attacking, aggressive, territorial. Even if they really like us, they will keep acting like we're other owl, not a different species. They see us similarly to how we see them.

One of the best information I've learned, is that in Serbia, there's the biggest gathering of owls of all species, there can be more than 300 owls in one place at the time. The reason for this is common use of old-fashined methods of harvesting grains, which leaves a lot of leftover corn and wheat on the ground, attracting mice, rats, and other small rodents, which creates a great food source for owls. Serbian farmers don't use rodenticide, so owls don't get poisoned. Owls so beloved and appreciated there, that they have an owl festival every year, and the whole month of november is called 'Sovember', because owl in serbian is 'sova'. I never knew about this, even though it's my neighbour country! I looked this up, and I found a website for the international owl festival, but I couldn't find any more info. I would appreciate it so much if any serbian followers could write me about this and tell me their experiences with it, I've never wanted to visit Serbia more!

The book contains information about owls used in Harry Potter movies, including the names of the owls, as well as discussing how the books made owls popular, and how it made people want them as pets. Owls do not make good pets, because they're predators and will destroy things and be very difficult to care for, but the book encourages readers to find the local owls and keep them safe, to leave old trees with holes in them standing, so the owls could nest in them, or to hang up baskets that can also be used as nests. It was a lovely, charming book and I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about owls.

The ocean book is named 'How the Ocean Works', by Helen Czerski, and I haven't finished yet, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. The funniest part of it was the breakup of what people used to think about the ocean; apparently before research, people assumed that the sea is salty because it's been left in the sun for too long, and that's just what you get from sun exposure, they believed that deep down it was not salty anymore. They also believed that the sea water cannot go putrid if left standing. It took a scientist checking this to confirm it was not true; sea water did go putrid left in a bucket in the sun, and non-salty water did not turn salty when left in the sun for months. It was interesting to know that for the longest time, people didn't realize it was the salt in the sea that made it salty, I then wondered how they got salt, and it turns out they just got it from the salt mines, which are leftover from the long-dried up seas.

Now new information that I didn't know, was that the salinity is different between the oceans, the Atlantic is saltier than the rest. The book also explained about how the salt is connected to the currents, and to the movements of the sea, and also changes the density of the water. One thing that had me taken aback was that the ocean waves are not only caused by the wind, but the water is reacting to earth's rotation, and this rotation is constantly moving the water. It feels like the ocean is being pulled both by the earth and the moon, constantly being driven by planetary forces, which is interesting, because it's difficult to tell that just by looking.

The book calls ocean the 'blue machine', because it's always moving, and filled with energy. Sun is always warming up the surface, making it a great reservoir of solar energy, and the book goes on about how it's possible to harvest this energy, using hot water, and cold water, apparently there's already buildings being cooled down by the ocean power, but I never managed to figure out how! I tried looking it up, and also found nothing. I wish the book explained the physics of it, so that I could try it out, it's a great thing to be able to get power jut by using hot and cold water, and the water is already heated by the sun, while you can get cold water from the bottom of the sea.

I think I might understand this book better if I read it, rather than listening to the audiobook, which as you can see, just has me puzzled because I do not catch details. Still I wanted to share my new learnings, and ask if anyone can tell me more, or if this is all knowledge that people who had biology in high school already have. I'm having a great time learning, especially because I can just divert in any direction that has my interest, and I can seek out information that gives me useful, practical knowledge. Wish all learning processes could be free and inspired like this!

[mostlyinthemorning]

Okay tumblr, do you want to hear the story of the time I had a live badger under the front seat of my car?

A few of you have heard this story before, but I feel like you might be okay hearing it again.

So.

Mumblety years ago, my first real job after university was working at a wildlife rescue centre. Basically, people would find injured and orphaned wild animals and they’d call us up and we’d nurse them back to health or raise them until they were grown enough to go back to the wild. Most of the time the patients were birds (robins, so many robins) and small mammals, like squirrels, but occasionally we got a more unusual animal.

One day, this baby badger comes in, he's really small, probably about 6 weeks old. 

Super cute, kind of like this:

x

At six weeks old he’s still nursing so we bottle fed him for a few weeks and then eventually, when he started eating solid food like mice, we put him out into an outdoor enclosure. By the end of the summer, he's catching and eating his own food and he's growls super ferociously whenever anyone comes up to the cage.

Ah-ha, we think, we have rehabbed him successfully. He's ready to be released!

The wildlife center isn’t really located in badger habitat, but I was planning to travel to visit my parents, about four hours south, and they lived in the country and had lots of gophers for him to eat. Thus, a plan was born. I would visit my parents, I would take the badger with me, he would be happily released into the wild, and my friend and I would go camping, just to round out the weekend. 

So, my friend (who also works at the wildlife centre) and I happily load our things and our badger into the back of my very small Toyota Tercel. (You see where this is going, I hope.)

My car was like this, but blue.

X

You might notice that this is not a very large car. And you’d be right. 

Badger safely stowed in the back seat, we head south. I think it’s important to mention that the badger is in a plywood crate with a sliding wood door that goes up and down as this will be relevant later on.

Now, it’s a blazingly hot day, probably 35C/95F and my little car doesn't have air conditioning. It is hot. Even with the windows down. And the badger is annoyed. We can tell he’s annoyed by the loud and angry growls coming from the back seat. 

Our plan is to stop about 1.5 hours into the trip to visit a bank and a grocery store. The badger doesn’t care about this plan. He’s still very annoyed.

We pull up to the bank, parking in the shade so the badger won't be toasty in the sun, and we go inside. This is before the days of paying with everything with debit cards so we needed cash. We come back out pretty quickly and open the door of the car and immediately there's a problem. The badger is still growling, but now the growls are coming from under the front seat of my car.

We slam the door closed and try to decide what to do. Because we’re going camping, we aren't really prepared for anything other than opening up the door of the crate and watching the badger run away. We don't have any gloves, or a towel, or even so much as a business card saying that we are allowed to have a live badger in our car. As we're standing there, trying to figure out what to do about our predicament, people keep coming up to us to ask if we've locked our keys in the car. (If only!)

I crack open the door of the car a few times, and the badger growls at me every time. Clearly, he lives under the front seat of the car now. We have to do something. It’s still hot, and now we’re behind schedule and we still have 2.5 hours left to drive. 

A guy in a big oilfield truck pulls into the parking spot beside us. Figuring we don’t have a choice, we accost him as he gets out of his truck and ask if he has any gloves we can borrow. He admits that he does, but, of course, he wants to know why.

We explain.

He absolutely refuses to get involved but he agrees to lend us his gloves. Apparently he doesn’t have any reservations about watching two 20-something young women wrestle a live badger as long as he doesn’t have to do it himself. Gloves secured, we open the door of the car.

The growling gets louder.

It's still coming from under the seat.

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to stick your hand under the front seat of a Toyota Tercel in order to retrieve a live badger. But there's not much room. 

The other thing you should probably know about badgers is that the scruff of their neck is extremely loose so that they can twist around if a predator grabs them. 

All of this is to say that wrestling a badger out from under the seat of your car is vaguely similar to trying to fish an angry, squirmy cat out from underneath your bed, if the cat had 2 inch claws and the ability to completely rotate in its own skin. In a public parking lot. While trying not to attract a crowd of onlookers. 

Finally, after much swearing, we manage to shove the badger out from under the seat, I grab it and slam it back into its crate. 

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

It takes about five seconds for us to discover that the badger released himself by sticking his claws under the sliding door and lifting it up.

At this point, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that long with our lack of gloves, we also don't have any tools that we might use to fix the door of the crate. But somehow we manage to wedge the door of the crate shut. 

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

You might be sensing a theme, and you’d be right. With the hindsight of some years since then, we probably should have turned around. Oh, to be 23 again.

It's still 35 degrees.

The badger is still angry.

We still have 2.5 hours worth of driving ahead of us.

We head out on the highway and the trip gains the soundtrack that I can still hear to this day.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

We turn up the music. The badger growls louder.

I’m already doing ten over the speed limit. I drive a bit faster. Did I mention that the car doesn’t have air conditioning?

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Thunk. Scratch, scratch. Thunk.

Our gerry-rigged closure on the crate has failed and the badger is sticking his claws beneath the door and lifting up the door. It’s only going to be seconds before a hot angry badger is loose in the car. We’re fifteen minutes from my parents’ house. 

I pull onto the shoulder of the highway and my friend scrambles into the backseat. Putting all of her weight on the sliding door, she holds it down as the badger scratches furiously. I pull back onto the highway, now I’m going twenty over the limit. 

Fifteen long, hot, and exhausting minutes later, we arrive at my parents’ house. I swear the badger's growls can be heard in Ottawa. Gasping a hello to my mom and dad, we lug the heavy crate with the heavy badger out into the field, wanting to release it as quickly as possible.

The growling gets louder. The crate might be the heaviest thing I’ve carried in my life. Staggering through the field, we finally decide we're far enough away from the house. We lift the door of the crate. The badger dashes for freedom—which is to say that it runs ten feet away and turns to look at us. 

Whew, we think. At least we made it here. But everything is okay now. We did it!

Heaving a sigh of relief, we gather up the crate and turn to go back the way we came. 

The badger follows us.

We walk faster.

The badger chases after us, practically at our heels.

We jump across the creek.

The badger launches itself into the water, swimming after us. 

We stop. The badger comes and sits at our feet like the world’s shortest, widest dog. We look at it. It stares back at us. Maybe the badger just needs a moment to consider its life of freedom. We wait. The badger wanders away. We pick up the crate for a second time and try to walk away. The badger is having none of it. It gallops after us. I pick up the wet badger and tuck it under my arm. This is the happiest it's been all day. Clearly, we are not releasing this badger into the wild.

Now, friends, we have a dilemma. We’re four hours from home, it’s getting late, and whatever we decide to from this point forward is going to involve a slightly damp, half-grown badger made of growls.

Our plan, if you can call it that at this point, was to release the badger and then go camping in a nearby national park. This now seems like a bad idea. But we're four hours from home and we have to do something. 

So. 

We decide to take the badger camping. In a moment of prudence, we forgo the national park and choose a nearby provincial park instead. 

We drive to the park. The badger rides on my friend’s lap. There’s no growling.

We set up our campsite. Thankfully, the campground is nearly empty. While we’re setting up the tent, the badger explores the campsite, amusing himself by digging a few holes and making sure to keep us in sight. It was like having a very short, very growly dog who likes to dig.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you in the least if I say that it’s at this point that we realize we’ve forgotten the matches for the stove. 

The nearest town is twenty minutes away. The badger will have to go back in the crate for the journey. The badger is not a fan of this idea. But we get him back into the crate—something that’s a lot easier now that we know he’s not trying to eat us—and we head for town, accompanied by the now-familiar symphony of growling. 

Now, it's been a bit of a day. So I think I should be forgiven for accidentally going over the speed limit on the way out of the campsite. This is, of course, when I get pulled over. Remember, we don't have a single piece of official wildlife-related ID between us, not even so much as a business card. This was before cell phones so we can’t even phone the wildlife center to vouch for us. We're both convinced that this is it, that we're probably going to jail for wildlife smuggling. And the badger is never getting out of that crate. In the backseat, the badger is growling louder than ever. 

The officer comes up to the car window.

The badger growls.

We hold our breath.

The badger growls even louder. 

The officer proceeds to absolutely ream me out for going twenty over the limit. The badger growls at every word. The officer doesn't even acknowledge the badger. I apologize profusely. I promise to never ever do it again. The officer gives me a warning. The badger growls. I drive away very, very slowly.

The next day we drive home and I can't even remember the details of the trip, I think I've blocked it out, but I’m pretty sure we let the badger had free-run of the car. When we got back to the wildlife center, we learned that badgers don't leave their moms until they're a bit older. We put him back in his cage, and about four months later, he digs his way out. And every now and then for about a year after that, people would come to the wildlife centre and say that an overly-friendly badger had come up to them on our nature trail. 

And this is why I always make sure to carry gloves in my car.

THE END

[theramseyloft]

hello, a friend was asking me about actual sources pertaining to the claims that pigeons benefit from living with humans. is it ethical to just scoop one off the street? i personally believe it is, but i also think it's totally fair to want a credible source and not just "i read it on twitter". the work you're doing is great, by the way!

That's honestly a really complex question.

Feral Pigeons (Columba livia) in North America, South America, and Australia are the descendants of birds brought from Europe that had already been fully domesticated for thousands of years at the time.

The Rock Dove from which the domestic birds descend is native to Asia, Europe, and parts of Africa, and on those continents, there are still wild populations that can mix with the domestic ones, and the type of habitat to which pigeons are adapted for feral or semi feral pigeons to return to and live out their lives.

Feral pigeons in these locations may be treated as wildlife.

But feral pigeons in North America, South America, and Australia do not have the wild Rock Doves to interbreed with or access to natural habitat that would allow them even the most remote chance of 'reverting' to something like the wild baseline.

Domestication is achieved by breeding wild traits out.

However many generations any number of dog breeds may be allowed to mix, no litter will ever result in wolf pups, unless full wolves are reintroduced to the breeding population.

The same logic applies to feral pigeons.

You are never going to get wild Rock Dove out of a feral clutch.

So, I honestly apply the same morals in regards to feral pigeons that I do to feral and stray dogs.

They are so human dependent that they can't survive anywhere that we aren't.

Concrete buildings, bridges, signs, and barns are the closest thing to natural nesting habitat available to feral pigeons, who are cliff side crevice nesters.

Food they would be able to forage for in the wild isn't really available to ferals.

In places where feeding them is banned, populations die out because they starve to death.

Feral pigeons eat garbage out of desperation, not because they can actually digest any of it.

So the question to whether or not they benefit from human care is a resounding "Yes!!".

They genuinely do need us, and do suffer if we just ignore them, unlike actual wildlife, which thrives when left alone by humans.

I could die happy if street pigeons were taken in like stray dogs are in the US.

But with out enough shelters or homes, the moral issue of whether or not to bring any given pigeon in off the street comes down to answering: "What will do the most good and the least harm?"

Taking a healthy adult off the street is usually stranding a mate and offspring regardless of the time of year.

Pigeon babies eat SO much that both of their parents can lose a LOT of body mass!! The adults tend to end up weighing significantly less than their offspring, even in a situation where food is always abundant.

So removing one healthy parent is extremely likely to cause the starvation of one or both offspring and severe malnutrition to the other parent, directly causing more harm than good over all.

An adult caught in something or tangled in string with no serious injuries probably still has a mate and young. The best thing for them is to be detangled and released.

A severely injured or sick adult cannot take care of partner or young, and in the time it takes to heal a serious wound or treat a severe illness, chances are that their mate will have taken them for dead and found a replacement.

I keep birds that came in this condition, though they are not likely to ever like me or any other human.

No harm is being done to other pigeons in the flock of origin, and that individual will live a longer, healthier life in an outdoor loft with a constant supply of food and access to medical care when needed.

I would consider it more cruel to release disabled adult pigeons or young in any condition than to keep them as pets.

Remember, they are already domesticated, and physically adapted to human care. Young birds and disabled adults adjust very well to human households.

So, my advice to some one wanting to rescue and adopt a pigeon off the street is to check local laws and make friends with a local flock in a place where there are no regulations against feeding them.

Lost performance breeds can often be recovered from the outer edge of a feral flock, and birds who know you as a food source will be more willing to approach or desperate to eat if they have an injury or illness that makes keeping up with the rest of the flock difficult.

It puts you in the prime position to rescue a bird who definitely needs your help.

Anyone looking to take on the responsibility of rescuing a pigeon directly off the street needs to expect there to be vet bills!

Make sure you have access to a vet who will see pigeons, and specify that the bird is your pet, not a drop off you plan to just leave with them.

If you want to rescue, but do not think you can afford immediate trips to the vet, take a step back and reach out to a rescue organization.

The birds they have available will already have been treated for what ever injuries or illness got them there.

Great Lakes Pigeon Rescue is pretty solid, and you don't have to live in the Great Lakes region to adopt from them.

EDITS:

I previously butt heads with Palomacy on two serious issues, but the facts remain that the birds there need homes, food, and medical care, and having allowed that to prevent me from pointing Californians looking to adopt a pigeon in their direction was frankly petty of me.

@shayvaalski States in the comments: "Palomancy states very clearly that "Pigeons were the first domesticated bird" and "They are domestic and unable to live in the wild." While they also say that they don't think birds should have been domesticated, they also uh, understand that they were and talk about street birds as feral. They do not recommend parrot feed. They say "Pigeons eat seeds and grains and you can buy pre-mixed blends called pigeon feed"."

Both of these are changes since my last interactions with the organization, so I appreciate the correction.

EDIT CONCLUDED.

For further reading, Rosemary Mosco (who writes the adorable Bird and Moon comic) wrote a fantastic book detailing our history with pigeons.

Hope that helps. ^v^

[sporelings-au]

Ok, this is me being bored, so here we go, what I would do as Mother Spore's origin as Grian and how they turned to Mother Spore (based on the original post about Mother's origin here: https://www.tumblr.com/sporelings-au/722568401712791552/mother-spore-mother-spore-is-an-ancient-being?source=share )

In the beginning they were born of the wind, bird song, and the wild magic, a Sylph, a Hyster Sprite. He had once been part of a flock of many protecting children against horrid parents, even to the point of on occasion bringing young ones to fae mounds to be adopted and saved from their horrid homes. Their name back then was Grian, and they were the main voice of their flock, taking the form of a human male sometimes to spoke or tell off humans, though never for long and always keeping some part of their bird form. That was, till those who watched and hunted came. They didn't know in the beginning they would destroy the flock, the purple robed ones only watched them from afar in the beginning, enough so that the flock stopped seeing them as a threat. Then members of the flock started dissapearing and the flock started becoming more cautious, yet more still disappeared till the few who were left realised the truth. The watcheres were fae hunters, and good ones as well. So good in fact that only they got away in the end with the hunters on their tail as they soared through the skies, taking on a more human form eventualy like the elves and other fae as they tried to hide in plain sight within villages. Yet, despite their hard work they were still found and the villages ran them off with the hunters following behind.

Till the day they managed to loose them on a fae island filled with mushrooms and decay. They found the core of the fae relm, a fae of rot and decay who left behind their magic to protect any who were on the run from hunters. And there they stayed, building a large home (a mansion) on the island with wood they carried over from the mainland. The core of the island didn't seem to mind, on occasion it would even touch their mind and magic in inquiry and they would answer. And their mischievous side occasionally led them to scare the creatures on the near by main land, especially the grown humans who eventually came to fear them to the point of putting a bounty on their head.

One day though, the watchers finally caught up, and they had no where else to run.

The watchers injured him, what should have been fatally, but the island core reacted and combined it's self with them. The mycelium of the island pored into their wounds, scealing them in their wake as they and the island became one and for the first time ever they fought back with wild abandon against the humans who had hunted them for ages. The spores they released infected the men and slowly started killing them as they attacked and scared off the men from their island. At which point they went into hiding as they put up barriers of spores circling the island. Those that tried to attack them in their new home in the beginning were attacked mercilessly, till the point it just became a game to them.

As time went on they forgot their name, their beginning, and their fear of humans other then an underlying maliciousness to the adults and a lasting care for the young ones. They started going back out on occasion to toy with humans on the mainland, gaining a new name from the humans in the form of "Mother Spore". Which they were fine with, they had long since forgot their name and a new one was needed, after all names were power. Myths started to spread about them and their island, and that was fine with them.

They may no longer be what they use to be, but they were now the eternal protector of their island, and perhaps one day they could gain new fae or creatures to join them and they could expand their realm and gain recognition as someone/thing not to mess with.

:O Woah thats interesting

love the idea that mother was some sort avian that was in a flock before turning into what he is now.

for the hunters hunting her part, that gave me an idea that they were hunting him for his wings. and the insect, fairy like wings that mother have now are not hers, but a gift from the mushroom island after the hunters injured her and chopped off his wings (would be morbidly cool if they killed him and the island brought her back to "life")

like to think that the wings mother have now cant let her fly very fast and high up into skies like how her old wings would have

and that mother misses that feeling of wind hitting his face as he soars through the sky with ease very much

anyways, tq mx biologist for the delightful insight :>

[tentacledsnakelover]

Wild Kratts Episode Ideas

We made it another year. 2024, specifically, January 3rd, 2024, marks the 13th anniversary of Wild Kratts, which first aired in 2011 with Mom of a Croc. I remember first watching the bros as a toddler with Zoboomafoo, and I have grown up with Wild Kratts, from kindergarten to college. I owe the bros for opening my eyes to how amazing the creature world is. To celebrate, I wanted to share some episode ideas I came up with:

Fish Hacking 101: Chris and Martin desire to master the hunting techniques of the mysterious tentacled snake. But to Gourmand, the obscure serpent is just another ingredient for his latest dish.

Yetis and Leopards: To keep the bros away while they plan a surprise party, Aviva sends the bros looking for snow leopards. However, they find the mysterious cats much quicker than expected, forcing Aviva to keep the bros away from the Tortuga by baiting them with a Yeti robot she built, but snow leopards are great hunters.

Upriver With a Paddlefish: During Tortuga maintenance day, Koki goes kayaking, when she is hit by a jumping sturgeon. Injured and with her creature pod busted, the brothers find an unlikely hope in another strange looking fish.

Inferno the Fire Hawk: While visiting Australia, the crew observe a black kite intentionally setting fires. Paisley learns of this too, and hires Zach to mind control the birds into obeying her.

Dot and Stripe's Big Day: The crew have successfully rehabilitated a pair of orphaned Malayan tapir twins. But the spots the crew have chosen to release the siblings in have each been claimed by older, tougher tapirs. Aviva gives the bros Tapir powers so they can traverse the jungle and find new, suitable territory for the twins.

Ice Day for Salamanders: In the most ambitious experiment yet, the brothers freeze themselves alive in Siberian Salamander Powers for a day. However, Paisley abducts the brothers, intending to auction them off to the other villains to finance her schemes.

The Perfect Mudskipper Name: Martin's attempt to ride a mudskipper lead to him loosing his suit, and a mudskipper merging with it, like Seven did. The now humanoid fish kicks the gang out of the Tortuga, and all efforts to get him out of the ship and the suit fail. The brothers must learn to fight like a mudskipper to win their ship back, and get the fish back to normal.

Parrotfish Beach: While at the beach, Martin chances across a parrotfish. Not having seen one of the vibrant fish since they saved some from Zach and Donita, the team get to work to make a new suit. Meanwhile, Paisley has decided to create her newest road right through the reef, using a monstrosity of a machine she calls, "The Colossus of Roads".

Nudibranch Bingo: After finding a Blue Dragon Sea Slug, the brothers head to the Philippines in a game to see who can find the most species of sea slugs. Unbeknownst to them, Donita has hacked their cameras, so she can find and collect the colorful invertebrates to use in her newest designs, having grown bored of regular gems and jewels.

Hagfish Day: After finding out hagfish have a day dedicated to them, yet barely anybody knows about them, the brothers take the Pulponaut to the bottom of the sea to look for the elusive slime eels.

Jimmy and the Silverback: While his friends go off with a Gorilla troop, Jimmy laments his fear getting in the way of his desire to explore. Fortunately for him, another troop comes to the Tortuga. Unfortunately, the bros, Aviva, Koki, and the first troop, get in trouble, and Jimmy must step up to save his friends, and the gorilla.s

What Big Teeth You Have: While diving, the brothers chance upon a den of Wolf Eels and their eggs. Soon though, the bros must take up the duty to defend the nest after the parents are injured. While their friends take care of the expecting parents, Chris and Martin must keep the eggs safe. But competition is fierce. Octopus and other Wolf Eels want the den, and the brothers must keep them away.

Do the Velvet Worm: The brothers are on a long overdue adventure to find the rare and mysterious velvet worm, who thrive in wet and warm environments. But Paisley's newest scheme threatens to destroy the home of the worms, and all the other creatures there.

Keeping up with the Hornbills: Chris and Martin seal themselves in with an expecting mother Hornbill so that they can document the process, but when Donita teams up with Paisley to collect animals from the forest she is destroying, the tree the bros are in gets tossed into the river.

Condor Crash Course: A malfunction of the Tortuga's new autopilot system causes the ship to crash at the end of the Andes Mountains, and the crew are stuck at the other end. Martin thinks they could traverse the mountains with condor powers, but the trick is to find the birds first.

Quetzals of Then and Now: Aviva tells her friends the story of how her grandmother obtained the feathers of the Corcovado family birdie in a massive creature adventure.

Four Kratts and Some Saigas: The brothers' sisters come to visit, but creature adventuring doesn't stop for family reunions. The crew get a call of a herd of Saiga suffering from a bacteria infection.

Vampire Deer: The brothers learn about Chinese Water Deer, which have fangs in lieu of antlers. But the investigation into these weird deer is interrupted by Donita, who wants to use the deer as material for her new line of formal wear: Donita's Deer-est.

24 Hours in Lake Baikal: From freshwater seals to special sponges, and even weird natural formations, the record-holding Lake Baikal has caught the brothers' interest. It has also caught the interest of Gourmand and Paisley, who team up to make sure the brothers don't interfere.

Queen of the Meerkats: Struck by how fierce meerkats are, Zach captures the head female and several others to use in his new line of "Zach-Tion Figure" toys. Chris and Martin must save the meerkats while their friends keep what's rest of the fragile hierarchy from falling apart.

Olm's World: The brothers realized they never got around to making Olm powers. They return to Europe to find the mysterious "human-fish", so they can figure out the secrets of the unique salamander, such as how it can live for so long despite being blind.

Jamming With Moths: While building more bat boxes for their friend Bite-Size, Chris realizes the Little-Brown Bat, and all the other bats, are struggling to catch moths. The team is spurred by curiosity to determine whether the echolocation of a bat is truly a fool proof adaptation.

Be the Bee Eater: Bee Eaters are disappearing, and Zach is behind it. He plans to mind control the birds and sell them around the world as insect catchers.

Jumping Spider Jubilee: The crew split up to find the most unique species of jumping spiders. They will meet hunters, dancers, and even one little spider who lives up very high.

Night with a Not-Lizard: Impatient to study tuataras, a miniaturized Chris injures his leg, and he must use his skills, and the powers of the Tuatara, to avoid rats and other hungry predators to get back to the Tortuga.

[tamiisnthere]

Altami Headcanons! 💕｡ﾟ( ﾟ^∀^ﾟ)ﾟ｡

I apologize that they just go randomly. I just wrote what came to mind. 😅 Besides Altaïr and Tami, I also gave a few headcanons about Sabina. :3

Enjoy! 💗

When they started dating, Altaïr always goes to visit Tami after completing a mission. He either helps her with chores or ranch work or they both read books, cook, watch movies/shows, play video games, draw, or just lounge and cuddle. But from time to time, both of them go on an adventure!

Altaïr was introduced to the TaE Family, who welcomed him with open arms, but some were still uneasy with his presence like Taino, Elphina, Emma, Jarrod and Maiev, but as time passed, they were eventually glad that Altaïr was Tami's faithful partner. Despite this, Altaïr and Jarrod have a bit of a rivalry with each other.

Tami was introduced to the Assassin's Brotherhood later when Altaïr took her to the Falcon's Highlands for the first time. Like her family to her boyfriend, the assassins welcomed her with enthusiasm.

The two are always together. Always. And both become very inseparable after marriage. They do almost everything together, but they don't mind when one of them goes to spend time with family/friends.

Every relationship isn't perfect, and that's true for Altaïr and Tami as well. They rarely have a disagreement about something stupid, they argue and then don't talk to each other for few hours. Nevertheless, they both feel sorry for their beloved, apologize to each other and cuddle together in forgiveness. Fortunately, both of them understand each other very well and can always come to an agreement. Simply, communication, loyalty and affection are the most important for them.

Since Altaïr lost Adha, he doesn't want to let anything happen to Tami and he tends to be overprotective. That was one of the reasons why he always sticks by her side. He kisses her on the face, checks to see if she's eaten/drank, dries her with towel after showering and snuggles up to her while sleeping. Despite this, he still gives Tami space when she needs it and won't allow her to be separated from her family.

Tami tries to say nice words to Altaïr in Arabic, which warms his heart, and he tries to do the same to her, but in Slovak. They both play a guessing game, what the other one says in their native language. Also they address each other with pet names in both Arabic and Slovak.

Both are introverts, so they don't show much affection in public, but when they are alone, they show each other affection in all forms.

Tami can imitate and make animal sounds such as pigeon's cooing, cheetah's chirping and purring and also Hunter's growl. She can even imitate other people's voices. Altaïr learned to purr from her, because the idea of them both purring while cuddling is cute.

Due to the trauma of school, Tami hates being yelled at and starts to shed tears. That's why Altaïr doesn't allow himself to shout at his beloved or their daughter. He cannot be angry at them.

Tami introduced Altaïr to her pets (Beaky, Raven and Kamari). Her partner was unsure at first as he had never seen dinosaurs before (the first time he had seen them from a distance when he got to Havaykia) and a cheetah so close. Tami convinced him that they were friendly and had been riding Beaky together. After a while, Altaïr finally gets used to them.

Altaïr has a pet female golden eagle named Caukasa, whom he found injured in the Island of Eagle and took care of. When he released her back into the wild, Caukasa always followed him until finally he "tamed" her. Caukasa helps him find targets on missions. Altaïr also takes care of abandoned and injured pigeons and doves.

Tami showed him more about dinosaurs and animals, while Altaïr told her about physiology and astronomy. Once she tells him about evolution and he still can't believe that 375 million years ago humans were once fish.

Altaïr's favorite dinosaurs are dromaeosaurids such as Deinonychus, Utahraptor and Velociraptor, as they resemble birds of prey. From the herbivorous dinosaurs, he likes the iguanodontids because of the pointed "thumb" which resembles blade.

Altaïr doesn't like to be without a beard and mustache because he would look like a "kid", but also he doesn't like a long beard for looking like an "old man".

At first, Altaïr thought animation was only for children, but when he and Tami first watched the Lion King, he cried so much at Mufasa's death that his girlfriend had to stop the movie and comfort him. It happened again while watching The Land Before Time (the first one) and he cried again at the death of Little Foot's Mother. Today, he considers animation to be an art form and even prefers watching it over live-action movies/shows.

Altaïr doesn't like sweets, while Tami can't resist the sweet taste, but she tries not to eat it too much. They both love spicy food, especially with chili.

Altaïr used to have a minor ophidiophobia (fear of snakes). Tami's oldest adopted sister, Elphina, is a lover of snakes, and she showed him that snakes are not evil creatures, but misunderstood animals that deserve respect, thanks to which Altaïr overcame this fear.

Of course, Altaïr couldn't swim, and for that he has thalassophobia (fear of deep water). In his old universe, he used to go to wash in a river that wasn't deep, but he usually tries to avoid deep water. According to him, swimming is not suitable for stealth. Because of his inability to swim, his brotherhood mocked him, but Tami and her family decided to help him and taught him to swim on the beach a few kilometers from the ranch. Thanks to them, Altaïr finally learned to swim (at least the basics). Well, once he played Subnautica with Tami, and that made his thalassophobia even deeper.

Tami has tonitrophobia (fear of lightning), acrophobia (fear of heights) and fear of doomsday. One night there was a storm and lightning struck not far from the ranch and Tami was crying in fear. Fortunately, at that time Altaïr was with her and comforted her by cuddling. Tami had trouble with heights when she had to learn the Leap of Faith, but in one mission she was being chased by Templars, so she managed to overcome her fear by jumping into water and escape. And doomsday is her worst fear. She is worried not only about her family and friends, but about nature and everything she loves will lost from existence forever. She is also afraid that after death there will be nothing and she will never see her loved ones. Thankfully, her partner and family always cheer her up.

Their common fear is abandonment. The thought of being left alone is terrifying for them. Altaïr lost his loved ones, while Tami fears that one day her loved ones will leave her.

One day, Altaïr ran away from the hideout to the TaE Family's Ranch for Tami due to he couldn't stand the taunts from the other assassins anymore. He said that the other assassins made fun of Tami as well and that was the last straw for him. TaE Family offered him to stay with them as long as he wanted and he agreed. Surprisingly, Altaïr is more tolerant with TaE Family than his fellow Brotherhood members. Of course, a few days later, Bayek and Amunet came and begged Altaïr to return to the brotherhood, because without him they would not defeat the Templars. At first Altaïr refused, but Tami decided to join the brotherhood, shocking her partner and family. Arriving in Falcon's Highlands, the assassins apologized to Altaïr and never allowed themselves to making fun of him (only playful nudges) since then due to Tami is defending him.

Abbas tried to ruin their relationship (like in Looney Tunes xD) many times, but he never succeeded.

Even though Tami became an assassin, she still doesn't know combat well and prefers to avoid conflict. She mostly uses sleep, berserk and poison darts with a blowpipe, making it easier for her to progress through missions.

Altaïr and Tami were married under a blooming magnolia tree.

Altaïr, Tami and their daughter Sabina were born in the winter season: Tami was born on December 18th, Altaïr on January 11th and Sabina on February 15th.

When Sabina was born, Altaïr decided not to do assassin's missions in order to devote himself to his family and protecting them.

What Altaïr loves most is when he sleeps holding both of his loved ones in his arms and snuggling up to them.

Altaïr and Tami were thinking about having another child, but they were worried about Tami's health or if Sabina would be jealous or if they were even able to take care of two children at once. Only time will tell…

Since childhood, Sabina has been interested in farming, like her family friends, the Palins family.

Altaïr mostly helps Sabina with her homework from school, while Tami helps her with biology and computer science homework.

In Sabina's teens, she starts dating Pablo. Her parents were happy for her, but Altaïr reminded Pablo that if he hurts Sabina, Altaïr will stab him (jokingly of course; and I'm tired of the jealous father trope).

As Sabina grew, Tami realized that sooner or later their daughter would leave them, and she was saddened by this. Altaïr and Sabina comfort her and promise her that they will be together forever. 💗 (this headcanon was inspired by this song 🥹)

Bonus: Drawing which I believe Sabina drew :3

[hueberryshortcake]

this post has been in my drafts since like three days after I made this blog I don't know if I'm ready to release it into the wild. it's like an injured bird I nursed back to health and I don't think I can handle letting it free

[triptych-of-voids]

Do you have any HS about Medics birds?

of course i do :]€

i just have to get this out of the way first. unfortunately some people see pigeons and doves as completely seperate birds, but this isnt true. pigeons are doves. anyway. headcanons now

we all know medic got his doves from stealing a van at a wedding. commonly the type of bird used for release at weddings, funurals, whatever, are rock doves or homing pigeons that are bred to be a smaller size and all white, meaning medics birds are all most likely pigeons of this kind :]

i think that a good handful of his doves would be bonded pairs, but not all of them! since he sort of lets them have free roam some of them turn up randomly with some other pigeon they found in the area and then sometimes he gets some new little birds that are not all white so i headcanon that even though his original flock is all white, hed get some more interesting color and pattern variations from time to time.

speaking of bonded pairs, archimedes is bonded to medic. thats HIS person. of course all the doves consider him to be part of the flock and they all like him and vice versa but archimedes specifically is HIS bird. archimedes will get jealous and throw a little bird tantrum if hes giving the others too much attention. if you ever need to figure out which one of the many birds is archimedes then its a pretty safe bet to assume that whichever bird is currently perched on him or always seems to be hovering around somewhere following him is archimedes. oh and he loves to get into trouble and dive headfirst into anything gorey so you could probably tell that way too ^^;

medic does have names for all the birds. he can always identify archimedes of course and then theres a handful of others he can pick out pretty easily, especially if theyre in a pair or have unique colors or some other defining feature about them, but even though he does name all of them and recignize most of them, he would be lying to you if he said he always knows which is which out of every single one of them at all times.

i mentioned in a previous post that engie would make an industrial grade air purifier for the lab and the workshop and the operating room in order to stay on top of all the dust. pigeons are very dusty.

with a couple of exceptions, a lot of the birds would stay outside most of the time, and theyve got nests all over base. maybe thered also be an aviary or something on the roof for them to stay in if they want, thats where medic would probably put most of their food anyway. archimedes would get his own personal cage in medics room even though hes got free roam as well. and much to the annoyance of some of the other mercs, medic insists on letting the whole flock inside during cold winter months or during the heat of summer.

he really does his best to take care of them all if he can. like i said, they would all have free roam, and a vast majority of them would just live outside around base, but he feeds all of them, he names all of them, he keeps track of where each and every nest around base is. theres not much he can do if some of them get swiped up by wild animals or whatever else but if theyre injured he'll patch them up. the only one he rarely ever has to worry about is archimedes, because that little guy is basically glued to him 90% of the time anyway

[sonnysonder]

Birds I Like Masterpost

Haiii :3 Sonny here :3333 this is just a list of birds I like a lot, in no particular order, with scientific names and facts and pictures! This will also be updated periodically! Because i'm insane! Enjoy!

Imperial Amazon

Scientific Name: Amazona imperialis

Where????? - Mountain forest areas of Dominica, a Caribbean Island in the Lesser Antilles

Totally Tubular Facts!!

These little guys are the national birds of Dominica, which sucks cause they're critically endangered! There are an estimated 50 remaining in the wild! Decidedly NOT tubular!

They're really shy parrots, usually traveling in groups of three or fewer. They also sometimes flock with their fellow parrots, the Red-Necked Amazons, which are themselves a vulnerable species. Wow, do we need to get our act together!

Imperial Amazons also mate for life, and are very faithful to one another! They may find another mate if their original one dies, but they're more likely to grieve themselves to death! YIKES!

Fruit Doves

Scientific Name (Genus): Ptilinopus

Where????? - Forests and Woodlands of Southeast Asia and Oceania

Totally Tubular Facts!!

I really hope you like these guys, because there's a total of 57 different species of them in this genus! Wowza! There are only a couple pictured above, and as you can see they are very colorful birds! They can come in a whole rainbow of hues depending on what kind of fruit dove they are!

They live in various types of forests, and only a few species can commonly be seen around human habitation. They are also super shy birds, so there is very little known about many fruit dove species, especially for ones in places like the Philippines!

Pictured above, in order, are the Coroneted, Jambu, Rose-Crowned, and Pink-Headed Fruit Doves!

Northern Bald Ibis

Scientific Name: Geronticus eremita

Where????? - Morocco (Mostly), Syria, Turkey

Totally Tubular Facts!!

Yeah, I know this switched up pretty fast, but it isn't just cute birds that I like! With it's tall, imposing figure, iridescent feathers, and neck fluff, I personally think it looks really elegant! And like a vampire! But in a good way!

These birds used to be widespread across the Middle East, Northern Africa, and Southern/Central Europe, but they have been disappearing fast, mostly hunting, and their slow reproduction, which is fair! If I looked like Anakin Skywalker, I wouldn't want to reproduce either!

Nowadays, virtually half of Northern Bald Ibis breeding population lives in Souss-Massa National Park, in Morocco!

But they're also really cool birds in general! They live in barren, rocky desert areas, and nest on cliff ledges! According to local legend in the Birecik area, they were one of the first birds that Noah released from the Ark as a symbol of fertility! Cool, but not very fitting!

Killdeer

Scientific Name: Charadrius vociferus

Where????? - The Americas

Totally Tubular Facts!!

This plover species has a kickass name, and that's not even all it has going for it!

These birds are known for their clever tactics to ward off predators from their eggs and young! When a parent spots a predator approaching their nest, they will drag their wing along the ground, pretending it's broken! This turns the predator's attention to the 'injured' parent instead of the nest! Once the threat is far enough away, the parent just flies away! Disrespectful!

Another tactic they like to use is puffing themselves up, and charging the predator! Though this tactic tends to be less effective for some reason!

But hey, who could blame them? If I were a Killdeer, i'd want to protect my children too! I mean, look at these little shits! Adorable!

(Please let me know if I should do seperate bird posts, like entries, or just have one long list that I keep updating cause idk what's optimal for Tumblr)

[sergeantsporks]

Wouldn't Hunter be subject to prosecution under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act too, though? He kept Flap as a pet. Hell, he even locked him in a birdcage at one point!

Up until the birdcage incident, technically Flapjack just sorta. Hung around him. He wasn't keeping him captive, he could leave at any time he wanted. Like, if a cardinal decides it's roosting in your chimney, that doesn't make you violating the act, you know? He DID tell Flapjack to go away when he first showed up.

Or he could make a case that Flapjack can't be re-released into the wild due to injury (his eye). Not that he's someone who'd be considered qualified to take care of said injured creature, but CAMILA is. They can always say he's sick, and Camila's taking care of him, since she's a vet and all.

But in general, yeah, sorry, Hunter, jail time for you.

[lost-carcosa]

The Devastating Effects of Fireworks on Pets and Wildlife

By: Kendra Coulter     

Fireworks have become a fixture of many celebrations around the world, from weddings to national holidays. But there are many among us, including the furry, feathered and finned, who feel fear with every thundering boom.

Animal caretakers, wildlife rehabilitators and fire services see firsthand the damaging — and sometimes fatal — effects whenever and wherever fireworks are deployed.

Real risks for animals

Cats and dogs both experience sounds at far greater intensity than humans. Fireworks appear for them as discordant noise without warning.

Studies suggest up to 50 percent of dogs are afraid of fireworks. Frightened animals awakened from sleep or startled from a state of relaxation will hide, pace, shake, cry or flee, unable to process what is going on or find a safe haven.

I had a tough and confident rescue dog named Ms Macey who was only afraid of one thing: fireworks. She would try to find reprieve by hiding in the bathtub.

Horses’ innate fear responses can take over when they hear fireworks. This led to the tragic death of a horse in Nova Scotia in 2022, neither the first nor last related equine casualty.

So far this year, Murphy and Tallulah were two horse victims of fireworks, the latter so afraid she ran through a wooden fence.

It’s not only animals who are at risk either. Spooking horses can accidentally hurt people trying to handle and comfort them. Bystanders can also be injured when horses bolt out of fear.

Wild animals’ responses

The dangers are serious for wild animals like birds, squirrels, frogs and fish too. During fireworks explosions, nearby resting birds will flee in fear en masse from trees and ponds, and fly off into the night sky.

Some birds have flown so far out to sea, they would not physically have been able to return to land alive. Birds can crash into buildings, get lost and disoriented and literally fall, by the thousands, onto communities.

Because fireworks are launched at night, the full effects on wild animals are challenging to document. Researchers expect that millions of birds are affected around the world and that the results linger after the smoke has disappeared.

In spring and early summer, when animals like birds and squirrels are nesting or in the early stages of rearing their offspring, the risks are even greater. Babies die of dehydration or starvation when terrified or disoriented animal parents cannot find their way back to their nests and burrows. These painful deaths are particularly tragic because they are completely avoidable.

Risks to people

The negative impacts of fireworks extend beyond animals — they can also trigger refugees and veterans.

When set off, fireworks can release toxic chemicals and pollute the environment. And during warnings of the potential of an intense and dangerous fire season, the incendiary risks of fireworks are even more dire.

Nearly 20,000 blazes were started by fireworks in the United States in 2018 alone, killing five people and injuring dozens more. The fact that fires are already decimating forests and communities makes these facts even more alarming. It’s difficult to see why fireworks are permitted at all.

Harm is nothing to celebrate

Thankfully, some communities are taking action and exploring alternatives to conventional fireworks.

In 2018, the Italian town of Collecchio made headlines as the first in the world to implement “silent” fireworks; they aren’t completely noiseless, but make far less noise than traditional fireworks.

That same year Banff, Alta. moved to a much quieter pyrotechnic display for its Canada Day event. And this year, the city suspended the light show to “review the impacts of noise and light flashes on wildlife and the secondary impacts on pets and people in the community,” which is laudable.

It is a disturbing display of ego that the human desire to light up the quiet night sky with explosions continues despite the serious effects it has on vulnerable people, other species and our shared environment (not to mention the cost when governments are footing the bill).

Since backyard and community-run fireworks continue in most places, concerned animal caretakers should take steps to protect their animals.

But individual actions aren’t enough to mitigate the damaging effects of fireworks on domesticated and wild animals. The more this issue is raised, the more likely this harmful practice will be replaced with alternatives that are more respectful and genuinely joyful. Harm should be prevented not cheered. Governments ought to ensure celebrations consider the well-being of humans and other animals alike.

[thatsadfem]

Spencer Reid. genius. agent. convict. addict.

TW: Suicidal thoughts, discussion of weight gain, SH and SA

Ralvez, angst-comfort, post reid-jail arc

(I am aware that the SA from Lindsay was a lie told by Cat, but Spencer could vividly remember it, so I'm going to mention it like it happened)

Everyone cared about Spencer when he left jail, but nobody cared like he needed them too. When he finally left his mother at the nursing home, Spencer realised he was empty. He walked into his apartment and crumpled to the ground, the man he once was was gone. Stolen. Cat Adams had taken the know-it-all, bright, childlike prodigy, and turned him into a mentally ill, burned out convict. He could never be the same, and they killed him.

Lying on the floor of his apartment, Spencer contemplated the worst. If he killed himself, Emily risked her career for nothing, everyone spent hours trying to prove his innocence for nothing. But it hurt. The distant memory of her hands on his skin, his voice in his ears. It didn't matter whether it really happened, he could remember it like it was yesterday. The comforting memory of Maeve's voice was corrupted. He had nothing and nobody that really knew his pain. Suicide sounded like a release from whatever hell he was in.

Spencer knew it was wrong to consider it, his team cared about him. He knew Penelope would crumple, he knew JJ would forever be damaged. He knew what he wanted was implausible if he cared about his friends and his mother, but a small part of him, hidden deep within his bones, doesn't really care. Every cut he made on his wrists, on his thighs, brought him closer to and closer to considering it. A cut for abandoning his mother, a cut for not finding a way to help her, a cut for causing Emily so much stress, a cut for Garcia almost quitting her job, a cut for Luke, a cut for Tara, a cut for a cut for JJ. He knew, he was a genius after all, that if it continued,they would notice, but maybe he wanted them to notice. Maybe it would be better for them to see the cuts then to see his dead body. Maybe they could help. But he didnt want to put them through that.

His apartment is cold. Empty of life and personality. His books, his chess board, his photos, felt like somebody else's. A knock on the door woke him from his nightmarish thoughts.

"Reid? Are you in there?"

Luke. Why would Luke be there?

"...yeah, I'm in here."

"Can I come in?" "...ok"

The doorknob turned as Spencer forced himself to get up off the floor.

"...Reid. Are you ok?"

He was not. Spencer came face-to-face with Luke in his doorway.

"....um.....i dont think so"

It was unlike 'boy-genius Spencer Reid' to honest about his feelings, but he was no longer 'boy genius Spencer Reid', he was 'felon, recovered addict Spencer Reid', and this Spencer Reid had lost his dignity, and his sense of self-preservation.

"I know"

Luke took and step closer to Reid, shutting the front door behind him, like cornering an injured bird who got into your house; it was too terrified to understand your intentions.

"Spencer. Can I hug you?"

Genius Spencer Reid was not expecting that. He was expecting a soppy speech, about how the BAU cares about him, and that he is still a good person, and bla bla bla. But not that. Something deep within him screamed, begged for him to say no, but for once, Spencer Reid, the genius, didnt listen"

".....please"

Taking a few steps forward, Luke took the Spencer into his arms. The hug was close, warm, almost intimate. Luke noticed how different Spencer changed to how is old photos looked. He filled out his tall frame, still slim, but he seemed at a healthier weight. His hair was curlier and completely wild. His eyes, sunken and sick, but still enchanting.

".......Thank you, Luke"

Spencer murmured into the Luke's shoulder. Luke's strong arms were wrapped around him, his face rested in the crook of Spencer's shoulder. The intimacy of the hug, how it felt like hugging a lover rather than a friend, should have made boy-genius Spencer squirm, but this was not boy-genius Spencer, this was burn-out, adult Spencer, and this was what he really needed. He could have a gotten a hug from JJ, or Emily, or definitely Penelope, but this hug had a whole different meaning to theirs.

"please tell me whats wrong. And don't tell me what you told Emily, or Penelope, or any other member of the BAU, because I know it's not true, I know you need to protect them, but you don't need to protect me. Tell me everything"

Luke whispered into Spencer's ear, his voice empathetic but strong. A tear left Spencer's eye at the thought of letting it all out, having somebody finally know without them freaking out. He needed to care for himself and not others, he knew that, and Luke was the one to let him do that. He was so thankful it was Luke at the door and not anybody else, he needed Luke.

"ok"