#this has been sitting in my drafts since january (more or less)

[ohimsummer]

this has been in the drafts since January, also it’s a scrap!! so there’s no real ending (spoiler alert he lost), sowwy babe <3

content: eren x armin's gf, teasing, mean! reader, suggestive, explicit language, not proofread

Eren Yeager considered himself a lot of things, but a bitch was not one of them.

He was notorious amongst his group of friends for accepting any dare, challenge, or bet thrown at him. Even if it was something foolish, all it took was a little prodding at his ego to have him up and running to do whatever it was they'd suggested. Eren thought it made him look cool. You thought it made him look stupid and easier to exploit.

Eren glances at you, more specifically at your boobs in his face which are almost keeling out of your tank top. "So you want me to do...what, exactly?"

You release a dramatic sigh and sit yourself on the arm of the couch, pajama shorts riding up the crease of your thighs and leaving even less to Eren's imagination. "It's a bet, dummy. Go a week without touching me since you like to put your hands on me so much. Think you can handle that?”

He downs the last remnants of water from the bottle in his hand before crinkling the plastic against his leg. "Yeah. But why would I wanna do some shit like that? Give you even more reason to act a fucking ass?"

You grasp at your chest in feigned shock and dismay. "Oh, well, excuse me, then! Big, bad Yeager-boy turning down a challenge? Fine, be that way."

Despite turning in preparation to leave, your feet don't make it to the floor before there’s a strong hold around your waist; Eren holds you in place and then pulls you closer to him, basically onto his lap. "Ah, ah. I didn't say I wouldn't do it, dumbass. What's in it for me if I win?"

You pretend to think up a prize for him, pursing your lips and tapping your cheek. "If you win, I'll do anything you want for a whooole week." A smile spreads across your face as his eyebrows perk up in intrigue. "But if I win, you have to do whatever I say, for a whole week. How's that sound?"

Eren had to admit, you at his beck and call for a week was an enticing offer. Though, at the same time, it gave you a week to be more annoying than usual. But, it would only be for a few days...and after he won he could spend the best week of his life breaking that shit attitude of yours apart and maybe make you behave more often.

"Okay, then.", Eren agrees. You give him a wicked smile and giggle, then begin to explain the rules to him more clearly: no touching you in any sexual way, not to tease nor to taunt, and you make sure to eliminate any specific touches he could try and play off as innocent. Eren decides not to set many rules for you. He liked the challenge, plus, when he won, he intended on making you pay for anything you did for the next 7 days.

The challenge started the very next morning. Eren spent the night wondering how he'd approach it; maybe he'd just avoid you altogether, or try and ignore you and just hope you’d get bored from his lack of reactions. He, unfortunately, wouldn't have any such luck.

"Hey, Eren!"

Eren recognizes your voice behind him as he's walking to his car to head to his apartment. He turns, and his eyes almost pop clean from his head. Thoughts are fighting to be at the forefront of his mind, a prominent one being 'How the fuck is she allowed to wear that on campus?'. There's no time to question it, your voice cuts through his jumbled mind as you ask him for a favor.

"Could you drop me off at the library, 'Ren?", you bat those pretty eyelashes and tilt your head. "I'm supposed to be meeting 'Minnie there but my car's in the shop. Pretty please?"

He agrees. And the week only gets worse from there.

If Eren thought you were insufferable before, it increased tenfold the day this bet started. The car ride on Monday had to be one of the worst experiences of his life. It was bad enough that majority of your skin was revealed, but watching the sweat glisten on your exposed chest, tits pushed up and straining against your top, jostling with every bump in the road that he tried desperately to avoid, made the whole thing that much more unbearable. 

The days following weren’t that much better. Eren realizes how much you’d been holding back when you’d teased him before. Sure you’d lean forward a little and wiggle your ass when you knew he was watching, but now? On your hands and knees in a skirt right in front of him with only the thin fabric of your frilled panties to hide yourself from him? Taking a shower when you knew he was coming over just to let him catch glimpses of your gleaming skin. The worst offense, in Eren’s opinion, was when you “accidentally” text him a photo of your bare pussy, quickly followed by “oops, meant that for ‘minnie so don’t look :(”.  He doesn’t respond, but the read receipt indicating that Eren did indeed see it has you giggling to Armin that night about how fun it was to make his friend’s life even more of a living hell. You don’t know that your high jinks have Eren fucking his fist every night until he can’t even cum anymore, but you like to believe that you have that effect on him anyway.

In spite of your unbearable antics, Eren prides himself on lasting until the final day without touching you. He’s irked at your lack of panic that you’re about to lose, but decides that you’re just putting up a front to make him suspicious. 

[frankly-art]

🎶 I seem to be bipedal, you see I'm half-horse, but no one can tell 🎶

✨💖 BUY ME A COFFEE! 💖✨ Check me out on: Instagram | Twitter | deivantArt | ArtStation | Bluesky SFW/NSFW

My centaur brainrot strikes again, this time while watching Great Pretender on Netflix—or, more specifically struck, as this has actually been sitting in my W.I.P.'s folder since last January, and I finished watching the show more than a year ago by now 😅 I started working on it around the time I finished season one, but was less impressed with season two and slowly lost interest in completing it… but, since I'd already lined and colored it, I thought I'd finish it up real quick as something to share while I continue working on my comic script! 📝

That's right! Some of you may remember a certain comic I promised back in 2021 that I eventually realized I'd need more time to develop. Well, I've finally got a working draft going for it—seven chapters and an epilogue, right now sitting at 237 pages and 73,227 words—which is the reason for my accidental hiatus here. Thanks for sticking around and I can't wait to share what I've been working on with y'all soon! 🧜‍♂️

[sitp-recs]

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss

Harry/Draco, minor Harry/Ron and Draco/Blaise (2022, Mature, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Draco hated that, the way Potter would sneak up on him, proving he’d been listening. He had always seemed to be caught up in his own head, never paying attention to anything or anyone but himself, but now that Draco was starting to know him, he was beginning to see the truth of Potter.

When I started this blog over two years ago, I’d write (smaller, but still) recs for every fic I liked. At some point I was reccing up to 3 fics a day and started bookmarking them all to keep track of my own recs - maybe that’s why I got more than 600 bookmarks lol - and it was really fun and fulfilling, but it also demanded A LOT of time and energy. As they both became scarce, I changed strategies and decided to only rec fics that touched me in a more personal way. These days I write recs mostly on a whim; it happens less and less because I’m not reading as much, sure, but also because it needs to be a frantic urge, almost like a trance, and it needs to hit me right after I’m finished a fic otherwise it won’t be fresh in my mind.

I’ve wanted to rec something from E for so long and after being left intrigued and impressed by any day now and licence to kill (two solid recs if you haven’t read those yet!) I couldn’t see what was holding me back. Now I ask myself if I had been waiting for Eager for the Sky. And not necessarily because it’s the perfect fit for my tastes - in fact, I barely read or care for 8th year fics nowadays - but because this fic found me at the moment I needed it the most. Coming back from a brief hiatus (that felt longer than life itself) right before Christmas last year, I can say that reading this was a refreshing and lovely experience, but also magical in many ways. And funnily enough, this rec has been sitting in my drafts, half-finished, since January. Once again, something I couldn’t figure out was holding me back until I saw this gorgeous binding post by @a-gay-old-time (go check it right now!!) and I accidentally found out that last week was E’s one year fandomversary! Perfect timing to wrap this up and post it as a humble homage to one of the authors whose talent I’ve enjoyed and admired the most in the past year. What a gift to have you in this fandom, and what a privilege to read this incredible 8th year romance!

Way beyond the delight of watching Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of a (very cool and inventive) Quidditch championship, I was so touched by the amount of tenderness, youth and heart this story coveys. There is something unbearably sweet about an enemies to friends to lovers journey that explores the wonders of being young and free to flirt, experience and discover. I could feel the joy of falling in love all over again through every line here, through every knowing smile and surreptitious touch. The slow burn is masterfully done in a way that never feels empty, boring or dragged. Every little moment brings new discoveries about each other and is important to bring them together as friends, and then as lovers.

It’s worth mentioning that there’s a fair amount of longing, UST and some infuriating delicious cockblocking but somehow the way it’s written and the context it’s given make the experience even sweeter and more rewarding. I was in no rush to see this over and found it very charming that they saw value in wanting, teasing, flirting, chasing. Because I really ready young Drarry I had almost forgotten how fun a pining Draco can be in all his teenage complexity, capable of signaling confidence, vulnerability, inadequacy and tenderness all at once.

His emotions felt so very real I could feel a lump in my throat, and I was especially moved by his genuine response to Harry’s prior involvement with Ron (Be still my Rarry heart!!! For those wondering: this is a minor but significant plot point that made my heart ache and grow twice its size, I’m so soft for this brOTP! By the way - side Rarry & Blaco? A fic after my own heart!). Even more brilliant is the fact that E published Eager for the Sky and July Tree pretty much back to back and these two fantastic 8th year tales complement each other perfectly. They got a very different tone from her usual edgy “mature Drarry” which I also love - and maybe that’s why I was caught off guard by how fast I felt emotionally connected to this softer, more innocent brand of love. Not to mention that superb art by @upthehillart - killing me softly as per usual, with the ultimate teenage Drarry headcanon what a treat!!

This fic was exactly what I needed and it gave me the delicious catharsis I was looking for without really knowing. It pulled me back into the fandom with its light, easy, unpretentious young romance, sprinkled with some excellent dialogue and charming banter that will make you laugh out loud at their sass, plus a sweet and delightful mix of curious, inexperienced but extremely insightful and lovable characters. I’m so happy I found this fic and that I got to write a rec for it! Thank you E for sharing this beauty and so many other fantastic stories with us - I’m delighted to share this space with you and can’t wait to see what comes next 💜

Read on AO3

[poupeesdecirque]

Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts

It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.

But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.

Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?

Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.

Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.

Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.

Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?

But wait, there is actually more reasons.

The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.

I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.

I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.

Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.

Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).

In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.

I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.

[sincerely-sofie]

The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.

I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!

But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.

It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits.  It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization. 

This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around. 

On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing. 

TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on! 

I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me. 

I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did. 

Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>

[bvannn]

Weekly update March 22, 2024

I’m still exhausted beyond words. I’m also on a bit of a spiral where I’m worried about the quality of my art and about my output, but it’s okay because I’m chipping away at old big projects still and as soon as classwork is subsided I’m going to try to learn a new skill, because any time I feel insufficient I learn a new skill so I can be better. Classes have been kicking my ass mostly but hopefully big things will be coming sooner rather than later.

I’ve been doing a number of drawings to time myself and update my comms. Turns out I’m a lot less consistent than I thought so it’ll be a bit longer till I get prices sorted out but it’s coming along. Also good chance I’ll add more on to it later once I sort out more things I can offer. My usual drawing style will be the main one, but I’m hoping I can also add the epithet erased style, the chibi dnd mini style I do sometimes, options for backgrounds, and eventually also music.

Problem with music though has been my exhaustion. The only music stuff I’ve really been drilling at has been bigger projects, but I’d like to just sit down and do a small beat as well at some point. Once I catch up with classwork I might try. I have been chipping away at a couple instrumental pieces, as well as the larger vocal cover and I did some lyric writing today for the two ‘finished mostly’ ones I’ve been sitting on. I did have to scrap and redo a character theme for the second time this week but once I have some time with a clear mind I can reroute that one and use the melody I wrote for the last draft. In development right now are an ambient character theme, a 16bit-ish instrumental theme, a Zelda medley, a song cover with Kyo, a small gabber song with no affiliation to anything, the two original vocal songs, one symphonic rock and one EDM, and a handful of others that I haven’t been actively working on. As soon as I have significant time I’m going to try to finish off some of them.

Once the music is finished I’ll have to throw visuals together for them too. I really want to put in effort to make animation rigs again but I don’t have the time or energy. I might do one for the vocal cover song since I could be reusing the character but I’m not sure it’ll be necessary. Once the cover is done I’ll storyboard something and decide then.

Comic is also still going, I haven’t had a ton of time to do thumbnailing/writing, but I should be down to the last scene. No guarantee I won’t have to add more after editing, but it’s getting there. Once that’s done I’ll try to post roughs of specific panels so it’s a bit easier to keep track of where it’s at. The thumbnailing is a big bottleneck right now because it takes a lot of brain power but it’s almost done. If I get myself together this next week it should be done by the next update. No promises though, I have a lot of classwork.

Last couple things, a good amount of my exhaustion is the result of insomnia, but I’ve been using that time to plan out TTRPG campaign stuff. I think I have some really fun creative encounters. I think I probably will try to write it out and find a way to release it, just in the interest of getting more people to play the anime campaign system (or whatever they end up renaming it to when the epithet erased version of the rules drops… eventually). I might throw together art for that too, but that’ll be a ways off, after the writing and encounters are done. Plus ideally I’d want the module to be available for free, so I don’t need to add too much anyway.

Last thing, as I mentioned I’m a bit unsatisfied with where I am with art stuff. I want to thank everyone who has been sticking around, I am trying to make it worthwhile for you too. But whenever I am unsatisfied with myself I need to learn a new skill, so I may be dipping my toes into pixel art soon. I do have that 16bit ish instrumental song I mentioned, that’s been on the back burner since January but I’ve finally been hit with the inspiration to finish it, and a little pixel animation would be nice to go with it, but that would require me to learn pixel art itself first, so I’ll try to do that in the coming weeks. Idk how soon though.

This next week will be primarily dedicated to clearing up schoolwork and fixing my sleep problem. After that I’ll try finishing up that cover song, finishing up comic thumbnailing, and finishing up that instrumental song, in that order. Anything else is a bonus. Will class work and insomnia get in the way? Probably, but I’m still doing my best.

[pixelgrotto]

Adventure Paths & Strategy Guides

Those of you who keep track of this blog may have noticed that my updates have dried up since September. I have a good reason for this, because I got a new fulltime job writing for Rock Paper Shotgun. Yep, that's right - after originally starting Pixel Grotto back in 2013 because I couldn't get a job working at a video game media outlet, finally my path has come full circle. It only took a decade!

This turn of events coincides with a lot of other stuff in my life. In the past year, I've gotten married, moved from the US to the UK with my wife, and been freelancing in the tabletop RPG space all the while. In fact, my first published TTRPG work is now out in the wild in the form of Pathfinder Adventure Path #198 - With No Breath To Cry. Go grab a PDF (or physical copy) if you can, since I wrote some creepy lore about a new demon vaguely influenced by Chinese yaoguai and Japanese yokai, not to mention all sorts of Asian horror movies. I'm actually more pleased with my contributions to Pathfinder Adventure Path #199, but that doesn't come out until January. Keep your eyes peeled for it though!

Needless to say, this has probably been the most hectic and life-changing year I've gone through since 2018, when I moved from Hong Kong back to the US. And as 2023 comes to a close, I'm feeling reflective. I compare myself with others a lot, and much of my life has been spent looking at the accomplishments of people around me and feeling like I don't measure up. While I still do this to varying degrees, I suppose I can finally acknowledge that two of the goals I've always had - 1) to work in the gaming industry to some capacity, and 2) to see my writing published - have manifested in 2023. If I could venture back to 2013 when I started this blog (with a post about eating dumplings while playing Final Fantasy XII, no less) and tell my old self what he'd be up to a decade later, younger Jeremy would be chuffed.

That's another thing of note: as of this past October, Pixel Grotto turned a decade old. Technically, the site is even older than that, since prior to Pixel Grotto, I used this Tumblr for a blog dubbed Aqua Headphones that was sort of a mixture of personal ramblings combined with reblogs of whatever I found cool on the internet at the time. Since then, I've written an awful lot about video games, which led to writing about tabletop games, which led to working in both fields in a professional capacity.

It's surreal to examine my goals and observe how they unfolded in unusual ways. My original desire to work in games media came from the childhood magazines that I loved - Computer Gaming World and Electronic Gaming Monthly - and when those went the way of the dodo, I became a journalist with the sly hope that maybe one day I'd get a job working at Kotaku or something. But I finally got my gaming gig not at an American site, but a British one. And I'm writing guides, which is not something I initially envisioned myself doing. It's tricky work where we often have the chase the reins of the most popular franchises (I now know more about Modern Warfare 3 guns than I ever imagined I would), but it's also fun, since it reminds me of days spent perusing GameFAQs and leafing through physical strategy guides, several of which I still own. Versus Books' Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time Perfect Guides remain on my shelf alongside Prima's Quest for Glory guides and Peter Spear's The King's Quest Companion...and while I can't do my current work in the same format of these gems (many of which were "novelizations," a style of guide writing I really miss), it does feel trippy to be following in their footsteps.

I could say the same thing about getting my words published. As a kid, I forever wanted to pen the next great fantasy novel. And while I've got more than a few discarded novel drafts sitting on my hard drive, the field of fantasy fiction isn't the one that's bearing my first printed work. Instead, it's modules and supplementary books in the fantasy tabletop gaming space - a space that has let me develop and externalize some of the plots and characters that have been gestating in my head since childhood. To a certain extent, that childhood desire to be the next great Tolkien has lessened as a result of this, and I can't say I'm displeased. I'm also happy that my first published work has been in a Pathfinder Adventure Path, because once again thinking about magazines, Adventure Paths remain one of the few remaining publications in the TTRPG space that bear some resemblance to old issues of Dragon magazine, and the nostalgia makes me happy.

I don't like to spend much time on this blog talking about myself, because there are always new ways to incite comparison to others and activate the inferiority complex in my brain. But at the end of a very long 2023 and on the tenth anniversary of the name "Pixel Grotto," I feel like it's necessary. As we move on to year eleven, I'll continue to make posts as long as my schedule permits it - after all, I can't let this blog fall to the wayside seeing as how its existence contributed a great deal to the opportunities that I now enjoy!

[maniculum]

The College of Grotesque Arts -- Introduction

So, I’m going to tackle this Dungeon23 idea. (This is Mac speaking, incidentally — I talked over the project with Zoe, but the analog element makes it a bit hard to collaborate from a distance, and she has other projects to focus on, so this one’s just me.) The idea, if you didn’t feel like clicking on that link, is to create a TTRPG “megadungeon” by doing one dungeon room per day, one level of the dungeon each month, so that you have a 12-level, 365-room dungeon at the end of the year.

I’m going to start off by saying that this is something I’m mostly doing for fun, so it’s going to be much less polished than something I might do as an Actual Project. (I say this because we do have some Actual Projects bubbling along in the background, and I don’t want anyone to assume they’ll be as slapdash as this is likely to be.) You’re looking at a first draft with minimal planning, which I think is appropriately in the spirit of things.

(If you're wondering about the title, that's what I'm calling the dungeon; to be explained in the next post.)

One of the things we really enjoy here at the Maniculum is medieval marginalia; of course, a podcast is an audio medium, and we’re not art historians so we can’t do a properly-informed discussion of it, so that doesn’t come up much on the show itself. So what I’m going to do is use the marginalia of the Luttrell Psalter for inspiration. Each day, I’ll look at a different page of the manuscript (in order, from the beginning), and try to base the contents of that day’s dungeon room around what I see. We’ll have to skip some pages, because they don’t always have anything besides geometric & floral decorations, but I just looked through it, and I’m pretty sure there’s enough pages left to get through the whole year.

(Text continues below image; I can't figure out how to make the image smaller.)

(You can find the digitized manuscript here, by the way)

I’ll also be using Appendix A of the AD&D Dungeon Masters[sic] Guide to get a starting point for each room, though I won’t consider myself strictly beholden to the results.

I considered doing a hexcrawl instead, since a lot of this marginalia doesn’t really fit with a subterranean dungeon, but it’s been years since I’ve done a proper dungeon, and I’m excited to give it another go. So we’ll just have to try and make it work.

Between now and the end of December, I’ll try and come up with a basic concept for the dungeon — I’ll post that when it’s ready. Come January, I’ll do a new blog post on the website once a week with my progress. (I may or may not post smaller amounts on our social media in between those weekly posts; we’ll see how I’m feeling.) It’s going to be once a week instead of daily because (1) I don’t want to clutter things up on the website and (2) I’m probably not going to stick to doing exactly one room each day. My work habits are disorganized, unpredictable, and possibly a function of undiagnosed ADHD — I expect, based on what I know of my own tendencies, that I’ll regularly pull ahead or fall behind on the project, and it’ll be easier to compensate for that if I’m doing weekly releases.

Now, the material-culture angle of this project: the notebook.

I could not justify buying a special notebook for this project, because I have too many blank notebooks sitting around already. My preferred brand is Field Notes, and I have a ton of those because I was a subscriber for a couple of years before I decided I couldn’t justify the expense, considering that the notebooks were coming in way more quickly than I was filling them. However, unfortunately, my box of empty Field Notes books cannot help me here: they’re pocket-sized and 48 pages long. There’s simply no way to fit this project into one of them. Even if I somehow managed to cram a week’s worth of rooms and descriptions on each page — not possible if I want it to be legible to anyone but me — it would still overflow. I’d spend the whole time stressing about space.

So, reluctantly, I turned to my other miscellaneous blank notebooks. I have a bunch — I’ve gotten a number as gifts over the years that I haven’t used, but unfortunately the reason I never used them also makes them ineligible for this project: inexplicably, most notebooks use ruled paper or blank paper. (Graph paper can be used for any purpose you can use ruled paper before, plus purposes you can’t use ruled paper for. Why would anyone ever use ruled paper when it’s obviously the less useful option?) And, of course, this project requires graph paper.

Turns out I have exactly one notebook that can be used for this project: a battered Moleskine Cahier that must have been in my Empty Notebooks Pile through at least four moves. No idea why I even have this one — I haven’t bought Moleskine in about a decade. Also I think these things come in packs of three and I have no memory of using the other two. Regardless, though, I have very professionally scrawled a title on it in Sharpie. It’s official now — I am doing this project.

[awritingcaitlin]

February Wrap-Up

February simultaneously felt long and short. I saw a post saying how January and February of this year have both felt like 5 years a piece. I somewhat agree with this assessment. Yet, at the same time, in the whirlwind of packing and moving that I’m in, I feel like February flew by!

💜Regarding Me💜

So, I mentioned moving! Because we will be moving this summer and I am very excited about that fact! I am less excited about the process of moving but it has to be done. We’re used to it and we have a pretty extensive system. But it takes time. The last month has been a lot of figuring out what we’re getting rid of, packing boxes and loading them into the storage pod; and otherwise prepping the house for staging and then selling.

We have 30 boxes of books. THIRTY! And they’re all stacked neatly in the storage pod. That’s not even all the books, since we left some out for staging (and to read obviously). I estimate it’s probably another 2-3 boxes of books alone.

Aside from books, I’ve packed lots of knick knacks, some extra dishware, board games and puzzles, and other stuff that can sit in storage for several months.

The timeline is a bit of a long one. We’re loading a storage pod full of about a third of our stuff so that way the house looks roomier (which will help it sell). This has the added bonus of less of our personal belongings out when people come to look at the house. We have to do this before they take pictures and it goes on the market, so that’s why there’s such a rush now.

We’re going to look at houses to buy next month. We’ve already met with a realtor (on both ends). There’s lots of moving parts. We won’t get our second pod until a few weeks before we actually move, which won’t be until July probably.

So when I’m complaining about moving for the next several months… this is why.

💻At the Keyboard💻

I have done tragically little writing this month. See the above moving shenanigans for the reason why. I’m diving back in to Heist, but I haven’t actually done much revising. I have outlined all of Draft 3 though! I have some new direction for a couple of the main characters and I’m excited to get it onto the page (when I get there.)

I’m also starting to work in Scrivener, which has some really neat features, and about a billion more that I’m learning. It’s a reasonable learning curve though. And it’s nice to have all my notes for the project all in one place. (Well, plus the notes I make on my phone since Scrivener for Android isn’t a thing yet.) But those get inputted into the Scrivener file relatively quickly.

So while it’s slow-going, I’m hoping to keep plugging away at it through March and actually start proper revisions next month.

In addition to Heist, I finished workshopping TBW with a couple of critique partners this past month. I have a lot of cool ideas for revisions, some major, some minor, some a bit in between. There’s a lot of questions about the book that I still have to answer for myself.

But I’m liking the direction it’s going. But it needs to rest for at least another month before I dive back in.

📚From the Bookshelf📚

I’ve been reading Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki. I’m really enjoying the narrative entrenched with music, a setting I’m semi-familiar with, demonic bargains, multiple POVs, and so much more! I’m about halfway through the audiobook, which is fantastic. Super enjoying myself. I’ll do a proper review when I finish it.

And with that, I’ll sign off. Until next month!

[confetti-cupcake]

Do you have any updates on your reality show AUs? I love your descriptions and the shows you chose. Patient waiting for when you drop updates or even the whole fics.

Hi there! 😊 First of all, it makes me so happy that you're interested and asking about my fics. It means more than you know to know that someone is actually interested in the reality TV premises and are excited to read something that I wrote.

To get a little personal, I haven't written much lately, or been very active on here for a while. We had a death in my family about a month ago, and then a friend of mine suddenly passed away at the beginning of October. So essentially I've spent this month in various states of grief, which as you can imagine, is not the best for fic writing, or engaging in 9-1-1 content in general. I have been slowly getting back into it though, trying to write a little at a time until I get my motivation back.

For more specific updates about each of the fics I'm working on:

🔪 Whodunnit — I'm taking a break from this one until death becomes a little less... topical in my life lol. I'm definitely going to come back to it at some point (I've actually been thinking up ways to change it so I don't have to make it include deaths of characters we all love), but I'm turning my focus toward other fics for now.

✈ Amazing Race — I don't want to promise anything since I don't know what my workload is going to be for the next few months, but I'm fairly certain that I will have this done by the end of the year, or end of January at the latest. This fic is either going to be a one-shot or a two-chapter fic, so much shorter than the others. I already have a lot of the meat drafted out, so most of what's left is writing up the last few legs and building out the connections between the "big" scenes. (I'm really, really excited about this one)

💖 Are You The One? — This one is a little tricky. I'm almost halfway done with this one (7 chapters written out of a projected 15). Problem is, I'm not super happy with chapter 7 and I've kind of been putting off editing it for that reason. I think I'll feel better once I just sit down and confront the issues I've been having with it head-on, but just finding the motivation to do it has been tough. I've been writing it in strict sequential order up until this point, but I have a really detailed outline for the rest, so I might just jump around to the scenes I've been wanting to write to get the creativity flowing and worry about the rest later.

🌴 Survivor — Ah, my beloved that also simultaneously makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I wrote about this in another ask, but there are a few reasons why this one has been taking a while and they pretty much just stem from the fact that I just want it to be really, really good. The first being that I've slowly kind of fallen out of love with Lone Star over time — I still plan on watching it and I don't think it's bad or anything, but it was getting really hard to find the motivation to write from the POV of those characters. So I changed the cast to all OG characters, which has been really exciting for me. It just feels better and it helps the story a LOT that not everyone in the cast is a character we're supposed to like. However, the downside to this change is I had 100k words worth of the fic with the old cast drafted out, so now I have to completely re-write a lot of the scenes and change storylines to get them to fit with the new cast.

Also, unlike my other fics, the Survivor one isn't completely focused on Buddie. It has scenes from everyone's POV, and each person in the cast has their own story arc throughout the game. Buddie will definitely be a big part of it, but there's also a fair amount that has nothing to do with them. I just love all the OG 9-1-1 characters and wanted to write something that gave everyone their time to shine — I also thought the actual Survivor game would be more fun and interesting if we hear what everyone's thinking along the way, rather than from just two people.

Full disclosure, I am in the middle of editing chapter 2 of this fic, so still a ways to go on that, but as the number of characters voted out increases, the chapters will become faster to write and edit. Also as I start finishing up stuff on my other fics, it'll open up more time for me to work on this 😄 I'm very committed to getting it done, regardless of how long it takes!

And now, off to work on some of these! 😉

[arealiquid7]

Euro 2021 Launches FootballCoin Fantasy Sports With Collectable NFTs And XFC Prizes

Such as the NBA, the NHL routine comes with 82 regular season games (41 each of residence and roadway), and much like the NBA, even though fans just understand players when it comes to length of the game, the particular day's the players begin and finishes a long time pre and post the first puck drop. There have been some rumors a far more inexpensive show is within the works, with Bloomberg reporting in January that Apple had been in "early development" of a less expensive monitor geared much more towards regular consumers. Similar to the NBA, NHL stakeholders including people and coaches have voiced problems about insomnia and tiredness. This task talks about exactly how each pick in the 1st round associated with the draft is employed by each team, and exactly how a prospect can look to be for a team provided previous people statistics, quantity drafted, and group drafted to. Often, there are numerous games on as well so you need certainly to pick. All university and intercontinental players worth transitioning one step further of play imagine becoming the top draft pick if not a lotto pick for one of this 30 NBA franchises. https://mt-police24.com/ was the NBA yearly trade due date, which means that teams had one last possibility to boost their rosters prior to the playoff push. But Bosh being Bosh, he rose towards the challenge anyhow, including another excellent performance to his currently bulging resume, dismantling Charlotte with 39 things once the Raptors clicked a two-game losing skid with a 93-86 win at the Air Canada Centre yesterday evening. The sum total for the over/under was a record 56.5 things -- I'm extremely thankful for the most affordable rating Super Bowl in NFL record allowing my under prediction to happen. My season record today sits at 15-13, with a great amount of area for improvement. Given that soccer season is formally done until August (queue discouraging music), we are going to take a good look at some NBA games taking place Friday evening. NFT is a term which has been available for quite a while today. Significant accidents required continuous health care and sideline people for durations higher than a month. We wish to ask you, visitors, when you have any concept of precisely what is taking place in this 1. Have a merchant account? Register to see your cart. Besides the Warriors and Rockets, I don’t see one Western meeting team as a sure thing in the years ahead. Greg Norman provides us with one of many great collapses of them all. It had been chaos in the stands and unsurprisingly, the referee decided to abandon the game after 41 mins of regulation time after people and encouraging staff from both the teams involved with an ugly on field spat. So this year, lean straight back on the mentor and prepare to view the maximum NBA Playoffs game on a great hd stream. If you're a person who craves sweets-which is a normal response to stress-reach for lean protein meals, such as for instance hard-boiled eggs, tuna, mozzarella cheese sticks, ordinary no-sugar-added yogurt or soups made with a lot of vegetables. television households. That is a fairly huge deal when you look at the era of plenty of television Choices. Its NASCAR coverage averaged 5.8% of television families in three of this final four many years. Despite matching the NBA's champions from the last two months in a seven-game series, in 2010's Finals will probably end in simply the second time -- along side 2003 -- that the Finals averaged lower than 10% of homes since 1981, whenever Finals had been shown on tape-delay on late-night television. With morning skate traditions and late-night games interspersed with medical options, news, sponsorship and household obligations, the standard daily schedules of NHL players lead to inconsistent rest opportunities. What sort of NBA is put together now, the very best players team up and rest. In the mid-80s, the group was purchased by George and Gordon Gund. Mitchell had not been truly talking about Chris Bosh, his all-star energy forward who is appreciating a brilliant start to the 2008-09 NBA season regardless of the total battles of their group. TORONTO -- With Jermaine O'Neal, the Toronto Raptors' big horse at centre, bruised up and struggling to play yesterday up against the Charlotte Bobcats, coach Sam Mitchell said his absence would afford a good chance for other players to step up.

[alamanyar]

through the keyhole; [teen and up audience] character’s pov: martino ships: martino x niccolò summary: five times martino didn’t say I love you and one time he did chapter summary ⟶ you’re (amazing): domestic boyfriends. basically a future version of 'nel mio letto' maybe a bit more angsty (sorry)

chapter word count: 5.985 read below or on ao3 (thank you, if you do) ♡ I "Hm?" Martino was standing at the side of the bed in nothing but his underwear when Niccolò’s voice pulled him out of his trance. The black-haired boy he was entitled to call his boyfriend. He still couldn't grasp it at times. 

"What did you say? Sorry." He looked over to the desk where Nico was sitting at.

The latter peered over his shoulder and perked his eyebrows up in amusement. “I wanted to know what you're up to.”

"Well", he grabbed his boyfriend's pyjamas from under the pillow at the headboard, "I was thinking of watching some clips Giò sent me."

“Yeah?”, Nico called back, his voice soft, and yet, clothed in a tremble. It was barely audible, but Martino sensed that something was off. He looked over to the desk again just as Nico turned around in the chair. "What kind of videos?" He seemed to have bounced back already, his voice as clear and jovial as ever. Maybe he misheard, Martino thought.

He decided to let it slide- not every change in tone meant something. “Yeah", his voice merely a shadow as he fumbled through the action putting the pyjamas shirt on, "he wants my opinion on his latest skateboarding skills." He laughed then. Those were his best friend's words, and he wouldn't correct them. After he finished putting the pants on, he pressed his hands to his hips and caught Nico's eyes who seemed to be disappointed that he was dressed again- or so he thought. He shot him a reproving look, his lips forming an amusing smile, however. "And you know, since we’ve studied for a good while now by your parent’s request, I think we've earned a break. You said you wanted to draw, didn't you?” He took the blanket from the bed and shook it.

“I can always draw another time, you know?”

“True. But you also said you were inspired earlier.”

Nico’s lips twitched and he rubbed over the skin above his eyebrows. “You don’t mind?”

“Why would I?” Marti lay down on his side of the bed, wrapping the blanket around him like a cocoon.

It was a few days into the New Year and school wouldn't start until next week. They had spent most of the holiday together. On some days, Martino had merely come over to sleep next to Nico since his exhaustion hadn't completely worn off. Not that he minded at all. If there was a way he could help him coping, he'd do it in a heartbeat. He finished wrapping up and caught Nico's smirk when their eyes met.

“You’ll die of hot flush, Marti", he claimed, removing himself from the desk.

“I’m wearing your pyjamas, remember? It’s fine.”

The thing was, Martino often changed into his boyfriend's pyjamas and he always wrapped himself into a cocoon blanket when he was over, loving his scent, wanting to drown in this earthy, slightly made of cedar wood, dream-like smell that surrounded him with warmth he wouldn't want to miss.

Nico was giving him a side glance as he got rid of his own trousers, and seconds later, he was crawling onto the bed.

“You know, you could just wear your underwear underneath all of this.” He waved his hand over Martino’s posture.

“Your dad is home. So, no.”

“Ah, you’re boring like that, I almost forgot.” Nico chuckled and Marti would have been offended, if his boyfriend wasn’t all adorable laughing into himself.

“You wanted to draw, remember?” He tried to sound annoyed, but he was pretty sure Nico could see right through him. "That's why you got rid of your trousers", he emphasized just for the sake of it.

“Always so bossy.” He shook his head and crawled closer. “Have fun with your videos.” He gave him a quick kiss and was about to move away again, but Marti raised his head so that he could nudge his nose.

“Have fun drawing.”

He gently rubbed his nose against Nico's before he kissed it. Ever since the morning after that eventful night on the school's terrace, it had become their thing. Martino remembered how relieved he had felt. What he had hoped in his heart all along finally became certainty. Nico's feelings were genuine; they always had been. He was positive he'd never forget this moment of liberation that had rushed over him that night. It had carved its way into his skin- as a token, and as an abiding memory. And perhaps Nico's emotions weren't as heightened compared to his owns then, but when he had woken up the morning after their reconciliation, Martino knew that all the suffering had been - and would be - worth it. Such a stupid saying actually, at least, that's what he had always thought, but Nico, despite everything, smiling his sunshine smile that day, made him realize that it was true after all. It basically came down to love having the power to conquer every burden. Both in theoretical and practical terms. He got that now. 

So, naturally, he'd never get sick of kissing Nico on the nose since it always put him in a good mood. But he loved getting those kisses, too, and yet, before this thing of theirs could turn into something more, Marti drew Nico close by the collar of his jumper, gave him a peck, just so he could push him away, ever so gently, but not without smirking.

Nico heaved a sigh, but his eyes were shining and the corner of his mouth curved into a delicate smile. And so Marti let Nico collect some drawing materials which he spread out on the side of his bed. He tried not to look at his boyfriend’s bare legs which he had seen more than once, of course, but he still got all flustered when he saw them or any part of Nico’s body, that was. He still wasn't there believing that they were together for real now, even though he’s never felt this comfortable in his life. Naked skin and all.

He plugged the earphones in and clicked play on the first video while Nico started sketching beside him, legs crossed and sleeves pulled up, as per usual. His boyfriend got up from time to time, collecting all kinds of drawing utensils from his shelf. Every time he fetched something, Martino couldn't help but follow his every action. Sometimes it was something of daily use, like a rubber, a pair of scissors or another pencil, and sometimes he came back with a picture book he’d search for inspiration or pages he could use for collages. In the end, he used the sketchbook as drawing pad. Martino suggested that he'd better work on his desk, giving the fact that Nico had hoarded quite some materials which were now lying all over the side of his bed. He also didn't want his boyfriend to suffer from aching muscles tomorrow, but Nico wouldn't have any of that. Instead he came back with his next conquest. It was a kitchen tool Martino had absolutely no clue what use it held, but his boyfriend sketched it with great intensity and concentration.

It did something to his heart. He was positive he felt it flutter while he observed Nico’s aura in these moments. Brow furrowed with wrinkles, tongue sticking out merely a tiny bit, and hands guiding various pencils over the sheets of paper, emptying and filling his mind in equal measure− Martino was sure of it.

There was no doubt that he was far gone for the boy next to him, and in this very moment, he felt the devotion jumping out of his chest. He was aware, because for one, the corner of his mouth started to hurt from grinning, and two, his cheeks were heating up as well as his upper body.

Nico’s mouth moved then, pulling him out of his trance, yet again.

“What? I didn’t hear you?” He paused the video, grinning, probably looking like an idiot.

“I said stop looking at me.” Nico gave him a quick look of disapproval. “You’re distracting me.”

“Sorry, continue.” He pressed play again and chuckled into himself.

He’d be a liar, if he didn’t like the fact that he could hold such power over his boyfriend. Usually it was him who uttered those lines, so yes, this was a nice change for once. He kept glancing at the boy who was sketching in a medley of tranquillity and occasional outburst of passion. With vigorous movement, Nico guided the pencil over his artwork, or as it seemed, into his artwork, becoming one with it, so to speak. And every time Martino saw his boyfriend perform such an act out of the corner of his eyes, he smiled to himself, feeling the adoration he held for him in every fibre of his body. Giò had been right to call him a goner. 

After he had finished sketching the ominous kitchen tool, Nico gathered paintbrushes and colours around him. Martino was about to ask him why the hell he’d wanted to paint his sheets, but before he could say anything, the brush in Nico's hand landed on his face. Of course it did. His boyfriend knew he was ticklish and he fully took advantage of it. What a shithead. It didn’t take long though and the utensil was forgotten, and they were making out, exploring each other’s faces thoroughly, getting rid of the blanket Marti was still wrapped in while trying to stay on his side of the bed.

"I could paint you, you know", Nico breathed into his ear.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"You're beautiful, Marti."

"Shut up."

Maybe he would let him. One day.

Nico was lying on top of him now, working on his neck, holding his face in place firmly. His grip made him feel as if he was something special. Someone special. Martino sighed.

He moved his head then so that he could capture Nico's lips into a kiss. He seemed to know what Marti wanted and started kissing him slowly, carefully even, while stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Perhaps those kisses were Martino’s favourite ones. When their tongues danced around each other, almost lazily, accompanied by his tingling skin and butterflies bustling about inside his stomach. When their hands roamed over each other, when Nico searched for his skin underneath the clothes, when he grabbed the hair at the back of his head, and when he bit down on his lower lip. The black-haired boy sent him to places he didn’t dare dream of, all in the span of seconds.

However, Marti had discovered quite recently that his boyfriend kind of responded every time he kissed the skin above his eyebrows. Oh, sweet revenge. When he rolled them over, that's when he had him. Under him, pressed into the pillow, defenceless. He took his time to tease him - first with feather-like kisses, and then, nuzzling his nose over the skin deliberately, tracing an invisible line – and watched how Nico shivered when he blew air over the sensitive spot. That was one of Martino’s favourite facial expressions on him. Eyes closed and lips formed into a content smile. If he were an artist like Nico; he'd paint him precisely like that. And so he forgot that he actually wanted to keep teasing him. He just melted into Nico's body effortlessly then, putting his hands under his shoulder blades, squeezing him and hugging him tight to his chest. Not wanting to let go. Why would he? This, sharing an embrace with Nico, was his safe haven. He's never really felt like he belonged before, not anywhere in this world, nor let alone to anyone.  

Elia would have called him a lucky bastard. 

They stayed like this for a while until Marti untangled himself abruptly, Nico protesting vehemently in the process, trying to tug him back to his chest, but Martino was quicker. He kissed the skin right above his elbow and pushed him back to his side before he wrapped himself into a cocoon again.

Nico rolled into some of his materials and they both laughed at that, Martino a bit more maliciously which Nico responded with flipping him off.

He was still grinning when his boyfriend put his trousers back on and continued working on his desk. He already missed him and the diverse sheets of paper beside him, but he was glad nevertheless. Just recently, Nico had told him that his creativity wasn't something that he could summon whenever he wanted. No, it attacked him sporadically. And when that happened, he had to get it out of his system before he imploded. That wasn't something he wanted for him, of course. Just the thought of the possibility made his heart heavy.

When he watched him sitting on his desk, he knew that it had been high time for Nico to get creative. His arm guided the brush over the paper- sometimes his whole upper body moved in union with it. Like a dance he had to carry out. Maybe, he thought, that dance was a battle all the same. Martino barely registered what happened on his phone anymore. He was utterly entranced until the shadow of Nico's voice burst his bubble of thoughts. For the umpteenth time today, he paused the video and removed one of the earbuds.

"Hm?"

"You're distracting me again."

"I'm not doing anything?" He claimed, his voice throaty, knowing exactly what Nico was hinting at.

"If I turn around now, I know I'll see you smiling."

"Is that so bad?"

"No, not at all."

"I'm sorry for distracting you." He really was.

Nico put the brush aside. "Let's have some coffee. I'm getting tired anyway." He turned around. "See. You're smiling."

Indeed, he was. Strangely enough, Nico's comment made him smile even brighter. "Let me help you." He was about to get rid of the blanket when Nico interrupted him with a dapper wave of the hand.

"No, no, I'm on it. You stay here. I'll be right back."

Marti protested, but Nico was already at the door. "Before you've put on your clothes, I'll be back already anyway." He scrunched his nose and slipped out of the room.

It was more or less a lie. It took him quite a while to get back. In the meantime, Martino made himself comfortable again and closed his eyes. His mind wandered to different places at the same time, and yet, he felt himself wrapped into an even warmth. Perhaps the afternoon sunbeams interloping into the room through the window were a reason for that, but Marti always felt comfortable in Nico's world. Whether it was here or at his place or whenever they were together. Hell, just thinking about Nico and how loved he made him feel never failed to amaze him. He always came back to thinking how it enveloped him, just as the rays of sunshine which were enveloping this very room with a calmness, so gentle and yet palpable.

Martino's favourite colour might be blue, but right now he was gleaming in all sorts of yellow nuances. Luchì would have said it showed.

And then, just before he dozed off, Nico slipped back into the room, his voice nonchalantly ringing in his ears, almost sing-song like. "Sorry, had a chat with my dad."

"No worries." Marti got up into an upright posture and tucked the pillow between his back and the headboard. "What were you chatting about?"

"Ah, you know, this and that." Nico positioned a trayful of biscuits and two cups of coffee on the middle of the bed. "He told me about his new project, you know."

"Which is?" Martino poured sugar into his cup and started stirring the beverage. For a fleeting moment he closed his eyes just to soak up the familiar scent. Not long ago he would have said it was his favourite smell in the world.

"Some building north the city." Nico was sitting cross-legged on his side of the bed now and took a sip of his coffee, glancing at him over the rim of the cup.

Unlike his boyfriend, he finished his coffee in one go. "You sound disinterested?"

"Naw, I just, you know, sometimes he talks for ages."

Martino chuckled, knowing exactly what Nico meant. His father's floods of words were quite endearing actually, but he wasn't walking in Nico's shoes on a daily basis. There were a few things he'd never fully grasp. He'd never know how much pain Nico actually went through, he could only ever imagine. And just before his thoughts could wander to darker places, he heard a clinking noise of porcelain hitting metal. When he looked up, a pair of curious eyes stared back at him. Martino knew that look well. Before he was able to form a coherent reasoning, a biscuit was stuck between his teeth.

“Stop that”, he giggled, while taking a bite off the sweet, leaving crumbs on the sheet.

“What? You don’t like them?”

“Don’t look so smug.”

“Why would I do that?”, Nico answered and leaned in to give him a peck on the lips.

“Your eyes don’t lie.”

“Ah no?”

“No.”

“Well, what can I say, amore, you make me feel things.” His boyfriend gave him one of his best lopsided grins. One of those that made him weak in the knees.

“Is that so?”, he raised his eyebrows, trying to ignore the butterflies in his belly.

“Oh, you haven’t noticed?” Nico took a bite of the biscuit in Marti's hand and then he gave him another peck on the lips, leaving crumbs there.

Marti laughed and wiped over his mouth with the back of his hand. “No. No, I really haven’t.”

They held their gaze for a moment. Martino was absolutely certain that he must’ve looked like a dumbstruck idiot. But it was alright. Actually, he had stopped caring about that a while ago. He knew he was one of those people who blushed easily, but Nico always looked at him with what he'd call a mix of endearment and boldness when that happened. And that made it even more okay.

Filippo would have called them sickeningly adorable.

“Will you show me your latest sketches?”, he broke the silence, being in desperate need for a distraction, but he was also curious about Nico's art, and seeing him so very caught up in it today, had gotten him even more curious.

“Huh? You’ve seen them. They’ve basically been in front of you the whole afternoon.”

He glanced at the drawings lying on the desk. He saw the early stages and knew Nico had worked on outlining miniatures of fairies once again. They were little superheroes in his eyes; sitting on one’s shoulder, always watching out for the ones in need, so he had told him. He had sketched some with a pen, and then later − after he had stopped using the brush to tickle Marti − he’d coloured the fairies in shades of green and yellow as well as the star dust around them. Nico had held up various sketches asking him which one he liked best. Martino was bad at deciding and he liked them all anyway. He always did.

“No, I meant the ones you’re working on when I’m not here.”

Nico’s eyes stopped track in time for a second. It was as if he was contemplating of what to say or give away. “Uh, I told you I’ll show you when they’re finished.” He scrunched his eyebrows. “Be patient, amore.”

“But most of the sketches from today aren’t finished either. And you’re not hiding them.”

“Listen, I don’t hide the others−“

“Yes, you are.”

He stuffed the rest of the biscuit into his mouth and looked at Nico who was eyeing him suspiciously.

“Are you taking the piss out of me?”

Martino snorted with laughter.

“You shithead!”

“Hey now, you fool with me plenty of times! It’s only fair.”

Nico’s eyes held a shine in them, twinkling almost. Martino noticed a ghost of a smile on his lips as well and started grinning when he looked back into his eyes. They told him how comfortable his boyfriend was. How happy he was that they were together and that there wasn’t anything between them that wasn’t right. That he could fool with him right in this very moment, in Nico’s room, surrounded by light yellow curtains and wooden furniture, where it was only them. Eva would have said they were a match made in heaven.

The outside world was okay, too, being with their friends and loved ones that was, but nothing came close to their moments alone. It was as if they lived in a safe house. Wrapped up in a shared blanket, waiting for sleep to take them. Even if it was merely imaginary.

“Hey, you have something there.” Marti pointed at Nico’s mouth then.

“Hm? Where?” He jiggled his head.

“Right there.” He propped his elbows up on his thighs - his boyfriend clearly waiting for him to close the distance - and slowly made his way up to kiss the left corner of his upper lip.

Nico’s lip twitched for a second. And then he traced the spot with his thumb.

“Biscotti flavoured kiss?”

“Biscotti flavoured kiss.”

He had the biggest grin on his face, and when he felt Nico's lips touching his own, he felt him smile into the kiss, too. He could say something, he thought.

“Hm-hm and a little bit of coffee, too.” Those weren't the words lingering on his mind, but—

Nico laughed. His shoulder trembled a bit and Marti melted into him. Again. His boyfriend’s laugh always did this thing to him when his cheek would just burn instantly. Not quite like fire, but with a certain warmth that was electrifying and calming at the same time.

The kiss turned deeper. Not like earlier. There was more hunger now. Tongues started grazing each other and fingers tugged at sleeves and elbows after they had gotten rid off the blanket again, this time more clumsily.

Martino took control whilst setting a slow, yet steady pace. It hadn't happened often yet, him, taking the reins. There still existed a certain shyness under all his eagerness to devote himself completely to their sexual intimacy. Nico had told him not to hold back, and it wasn't that he did it on purpose, but at times he was unsure if he was doing it right; whatever that meant. Maybe he was thinking too much about it. However, there was no way he’d get sick of Nico’s laugh. He always wanted to hear it. He wished he could kiss it away to put it in a jar that he could open whenever his boyfriend wasn’t with him. It made him all mushy and more in awe of him than he thought was possible. Yet here he was.

He rolled them around and slotted a thigh between Nico's thighs. While he stifled a laugh when they hit the tray, Nico cursed. Somehow they managed to shove it away with their hands and feet while their lips stayed glued together. He listened to Nico slightly starting to moan. It was more like puffing out air more rapidly each time their tongues parted, but it made him even more eager to kiss him absolutely senseless. Right here in this very room where he learned so much about him on one Friday afternoon. October felt like a lifetime ago.

Someway in between his attempt to make the object of his desire melt into the sheets, Nico managed to get a hand of his helix piercing with his thumb. It was enough to make him jolt. His boyfriend laughed into their kiss, his curls tickling his cheek, reinforcing the already existing tingling sensation going through his body.

“Ni, I swear...ughh.”

“Mh-mh yeah?” Nico kept grazing the metal with his thumb, slightly tugging at it.

“Ni, stop it, I swear”, he huffed in between smooches, digging his fingers into every spot of Nico's skin he managed to grasp.

“What?”

“Not now, your dad...”

“Who gives a fuck.” He felt Nico’s lips on his neck.

“I do”, he panted, feeling a throbbing heat to begin in his stomach.

“Of course, you do”, he sounded annoyed, yet his lips had arrived at his earlobe, biting down gently.

“Ah, I really don’t−“

“What?”, he asked more slyly and twirled his tongue around the piercing.

Marti's leg kicked the bed rest. He was at that point where he had lost control of his body, muscles doing whatever the fuck they wanted. He loved and hated it at the same time; especially in this very moment.

“Oh God, I swear, Ni...”

Nico ignored his plea. He really was insufferable. It wasn’t that he hated his boyfriend’s caresses on this particular body part of him, no, in fact, he loved them. It was just that he couldn’t bare Nico’s dad to interrupt them. Just the thought of that made him nauseous. How would he be able to look an older version of Nico in the eyes? They both shared the same pair of black curls and their eyes held the same shine in them. Martino was absolutely certain he'd melt in shame on the spot.

He managed to take a hold of his jumper's collar. “Ni, I swear... please...”

Nico's breath was hot and heavy on his skin, making his toes curl. “Marti... you drive me insane. It really isn’t my fault.” Another twirl around the metal followed by his leg kicking the bed rest again.

And then, a knock. Martino froze in a jiffy.

“Yeah?”, Nico called out, irritated.

“You boys alright?", a muffled voice called back.

Don’t open the door, don’t open the door, please don't open the door!

Marti buried his face in the crook of Nico's neck. It was bound to happen one day, he knew it. Perhaps he could disappear into the shielding niche of skin until the coast was clear again.

“Yeah, sure, pa", Nico called back while caressing his jaw with his thumb. Martino wished he'd stopped doing that, having trouble cooling down as hard as it already was.

“Thought I heard a dull noise, or well, something similar.”

“No yeah, Marti just stumbled against the bed...”

“Ah− you good, boy?”

He raised his head at the question, shooting a piercing look at Nico who was clearly entertained by his discomfort. “Every-everything’s fine”, Marti tried to answer with containment, but he felt his voice trembling. Nico snorted with laughter whereupon he nudged his shoulder.

“Oi!”, he cried out in fake pain.

“Niccolò?”

Martino thought he saw Nico’s dad trying to push down the handle of the French door.

No, no, no- don’t open the door! Don’t come inside!

He pointed to the door while trying to stare holes into Nico's eyes who was still terribly amused. What a shithead, Martino contemplated, trying not to grin at his own thought.

“Everything’s good, pa. Marti is just a bully, as usual.”

He nudged him in the shoulder again.

“We’re fine. Everything’s fine, don’t worry.” Nico said more earnestly now, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Okay.” A pause. “Listen, are you staying for dinner tonight, Martino?”

He turned his head towards the door, trying to regain his composure. “Um, well, actually I... I have a... dinner date with my mother tonight, so no.”

“Ah, what a shame− okay, you, uh, you boys continue. I see you later.” He listened to footsteps disappearing and heaved a sigh of relief.

Nico had started chuckling at one point and if he weren’t the lovesick puppy he had turned into, he’d truly be offended. However, it was really hard for him not to start laughing himself, so, with one final kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, he pushed himself off of him.

“I really hate you, you know”, he claimed, somehow grinning.

“Ah, you should have seen your face, amore, I swear I saw your cheeks turn burgundy in one second.”

“Funny.”

“That’s why you’re so incredibly fond of me.”

There it was again. That smug look of him, tongue sticking out for a millisecond behind his teeth, his eyes full of mischief.

“No, you got it all wrong, I really loathe you.”

“Oh really?”

“100%.”

“Okay. Then if you truly loathe me, you won’t mind that I won’t show you the sketches I am working on when you’re not here.”

“What?”

“You think I’m joking?”

“If you think you can blackmail me in any way...”

“I can’t?” Another challenge.

“Okay, fine”, he spit back angrily, almost on a level where he knew it was hard to tell he was joking.

It seemed to work, for Nico didn’t say anything. He felt his gaze, but he didn’t dare look. Two can play the game, he thought.

“Maaaarrrrtiiiii...” Nico stretched out his name, rolling the r’s endlessly it seemed.

He pretended he didn’t hear him and started looking for his phone which he remembered was lying somewhere underneath the sheets. When he had found it, he grabbed it, a sigh escaping his lips. It was really hard not to smirk, so he turned his head looking away.

“Really?”, Nico burst out, his voice an octave higher than usual.

He put the earbuds back in and was just about to get back to Giovanni’s videos, when he felt Nico grab his upper arm.

His finger hovered over the play button. “Yes?”

“Turn around.” Nico’s thumb dug into his flesh. “Look at me.”

He complied, putting the earbuds in his lap. Nico’s eyes were fixated on his and he blinked a couple of times so that he could hold his gaze.

“You didn’t mean that, did you?”

He was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Um, that you loathe me?” His eyes fluttered and there was a crushing nervousness in his voice Martino absolutely hated hearing.

“WHAT? Why would I mean that? Are you stupid?” He searched Nico's eyes. He seemed to be dead serious and he felt like an idiot.

“Ni, I swear, I was joking. I’m... I’m sorry if it came off−“

He didn’t get to say more. Nico pulled him up by the collar of his pyjamas shirt and kissed him on the lips. Hard and frantic. Hitting his teeth in the process.

“Ouch”, he chuckled into his mouth.

“I love you, Marti. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey now... hey.” He took his head into his hands and pressed his forehead to Nico’s whose hands had fallen on his shoulder, gripping the shirt there.

I love you, too. It’s okay.

“I overwhelm you, I always do that.”

“Please cut the always, will you.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?”

“No. I promise you, you don’t. Sometimes I am overwhelmed that this is real. Sometimes I can’t believe it, you know, that we’re together?”

“No?”

“You’re amazing.” He took one of Nico’s hands and gave it a little squeeze while he kept their foreheads connected. “You amaze me every single day.” He half-whispered the last sentence and tried to lift his chin up, but Nico was shaking his head no. No eye contact for now, okay, Marti knew that much. And so he snuggled his nose against his neck, kissing the spot of skin with caution right afterwards. He repeated the action until Nico spoke, his voice in a mist of shame.

“I’m sorry I’m impulsive.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m sorry I’m so needy.”

“I’m not, really.”

“I love you.”

He started to tremble at his words. He was about to open his mouth, to say them back, because only a fool would believe him if he claimed he didn't love the boy who was clinging to him. Martino was chanting the words in his mind anyway. Ever since New Year's Eve – if not before that − when Nico had first said them, casually, as if they had slipped from his lips unintentionally. But Marti knew Nico had been sincere, just as he was in this very moment.

Now, if he could only say them back.

His heart exploded, because he felt so incredibly blessed and cherished and loved and there wasn’t anything to fear, and yet, he feared to say them. Those three little words. It was the most absurd thing he’d ever experienced. Here he was, holding his boyfriend, embracing him like the treasure he was, and yet, he couldn’t say them back. He truly was a walking contradiction. Nico moved him in every way a person could be moved. He should say something, he knew that. In fact, he should have said something a while ago. He could tell him right now that he loved him. It was neither a lie, nor a bad time. It could even soothe Nico's tension, if he thought about it. Still, shouldn't he say something so significant with nothing but joy between them? He felt a knot forming its way up his lungs, and so he buried the mental image and pulled his boyfriend to his chest. As if on cue, Nico started breathing erratically. He, too, didn't seem to get enough air to fill his lungs. Martino cursed himself, this was clearly his fault. Open your damn mouth. "It's okay, Ni, it's okay. I'm here." "I'm sorry, Marti." "Shh, shh, everything's alright. It's not your fault." Don't be sad, please don't be sad. It's okay. He losened their embrace and started to draw soothing circles on his Nico’s back and planted kisses - as tender as he could - on his hair where it met his earlobe. It took a while until he felt him relax, his head on his shoulder as if he had just ran a marathon and needed someone to support some of his weight. “A nap? Before you have to go?” Nico whispered into the crook of his neck, his breath tickling and making his flesh crawl at the same time.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They settled down in the middle of the bed. Nico was already captured in a sleepy trance, but he still held enough force to pull him down to his upper body, enveloping his arm around his back. Martino partly nestled down on his chest and partly on his shoulder, belly down, and face towards Nico’s middle.

I love you.

Nico's lips brushed his forehead. He shivered at that and moved his hand over the jumper until he felt his heart beating.

I’m sorry.

Some time later Nico found his hand and Marti entwined their fingers. He moved his thumb over his knuckles, trying to soothe him, or maybe he was trying to soothe himself. It didn’t take long and he felt his boyfriend puffing air into his hair.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six...

It calmed him down listening to Nico breathing, and feeling him under him steadied him. Grounded him, yes.

He was so damn lucky, he thought, shedding a tear at the very thought, feeling relieved that Nico wouldn’t have to worry about that as well. God, Martino hoped he knew how much he wanted to be with him at any giving time. The shame he felt over not being able to tell Nico how much he meant to him made him feel small. What a fool he was.

At one point, Martino started repeating his affection towards him like a mantra. In his mind, but he could have sworn that he heard himself whisper his confession into the silence of the black-haired treasure's room he was holding on to.

I love you so very much.

The approaching evening light was creeping into the room now, absorbing the yellow aura which was one of the many things about these four walls he loved.

He reminded himself that, however dark this room might get, the warmest colour was lying in his arms, and that he needed to be brave to make it stay that way. He justthis ineeded to be brave. I do, I truly do. ☆．。．:*･° 

When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be When you move I could never define all that you are to me So move me, baby Hozier - Movement

[kissingchoso]

𝐎𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐓. 𝐎𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 + 𝐇. 𝐈𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Oikawa x Reader x Iwaizumi

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Oikawa is nothing but a menace to society. It’s up to Iwaizumi to teach his friend to stop playing with his food and simply get what he desires: you.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content, bisexual!iwa, raging bisexual!oikawa, friends with benefits, fingering, finger sucking, cucking, voyuerism, male masterbation, dom!iwa, horny!oikawa, reader is having the time of her life lmao

𝐀/𝐍: i haven’t written since fucking january holy shit. hi guys <3 have an old draft when i was in my oikawa and hajime brainrot! 🖤

Oikawa can hear the quiet moan that leaves your mouth despite the ridiculously loud volume on the tv. It happened between some loud explosions, your voice muddled in the sound effects but it was soft enough to the point where his well trained ears can pick it up.

He glances over to the couch where you were seated next to Hajime. The other man selfishly claimed the couch for just the two of you, casting Oikawa out onto the recliner all by his lonesome. While he was a bit jealous that Iwaizumi was hogging all of your space, he figures that this may not have been a bad idea.

From his spot, Oikawa could see the shared blanket on your lap shift a bit, Iwaizumu’s broad arm between your spread legs. It’s so fucking obvious but he knew better to think that this was planned. The subtle jerk of your thigh, shuffling closer to him, your head now on his shoulder. Face hidden in the sleeve of the plain black tee shirt he was wearing. Even the proud look on Iwa’s face was more than enough for him to get an idea on what was going on.

All three of you had been close since primary school. You’ve watched each other grow through all of the phases of life, no matter how awkward or embarrassing. Getting to see your friends live out their dreams while they consistently hyped you up to the point where your bond has transformed to something more….mature. In the past there had been jokes about sleeping amongst the friend group if there was a bad experience or even a nice pick me up, but never any serious advancements. That kind of talk was lost during sleepy facetime calls, wrapped loosely with the false promise from Tooru that “I’ll make you cum in less than five minutes, princess.”

How soon did that almost became your reality. 

Recently, Oikawa and you had gotten drunk during a clubbing trip. He was visiting from Argentina and the two of you immediately sought out your favorite club while Iwa had prior obligations to attend to. It ended when you two were shamelessly making out right outside of the club while waiting for the responsible friend to come pick the two of you up. You’d learned then how amazing of a kisser your friend was. His tongue pushed yours in a dominance match while his hands were kneading every part of you they could find.

No matter how muddled the night was to you, you will never forget the coy smirk on Oikawa’s face when you two pulled away. Or the way you could feel his hardon press against your pelvis so obviously. He leaned down towards your height, whispering something you don’t even remember but you remember the brief kiss right beneath your ear. You even remember locking eyes with your other dear friend as he steps out of his car.

Ever since then, Oikawa seeks you out more. Sits next to you at restaurants, offers to drive as long as you’re in the passenger side, keeps his hands on some part of your body. Iwaizumi notices as he always does. Oikawa’s advancements were not subtle in the slightest. While he doesn’t care who his best friend chooses to sleep with, he was curious how much of a menace he could be when his new eye candy is being taken away from him.

A gentle shudder runs through your body when Iwa plunges his finger in deeper, which only widens the smug grin the man is wearing. Oh how he wishes he can read Tooru’s mind. Yet one glance to the recliner was enough indication.

Oikawa is fucking watching the scene unfold in front of his own eyes. No matter how you are silencing yourself, making these movements appear like little ticks, he so clearly knows. When the two of them lock eyes, Iwaizumi finds it appropriate to go further.

He slips in his ring finger along with the middle. It curls into you deliciously, hitting all of the sensitive spots hidden deep within your cunt. Oikawa breaks their little staring contest to look at your shaking body, trying your absolute best to remain quiet but you cant. It’s too much and your friends know it.

“Shaking like a leaf there, love. C’mere. You can sit on my lap,” Haijime tells you, pulling his fingers out of you carefully while his other hand adjusts the blanket over the two of you. Such an obedient thing you are, you even made sure to press your cute ass against the tent in his shorts.

“And you,” he starts, looking past your shoulder to the other person in the room. “Can sit there and watch until I say otherwise.”

“….H-Huh?” the reality of the situation finally dawned upon you. Looking over, you can see Tooru openly squeezing and fondling the front of his shorts.

There was no time for you to process how fast the night had been going. Iwa nudged the same two fingers he was fucking you with right into your mouth. There’s no need for words when your task was as clear as fucking day: suck. And so you do, swirling your tongue around his digits while hollowing your cheeks out from time to time.

“Your friend over there’s been very naughty Y/N,” Iwaizumi announces. “He been starin’ at you since the night you two kissed, touchin’ your ass while he swears it’s an accident. Little perv can’t straight up tell you what he wants, so I’ll have to show him how to do it.”

Your mind was swimming from all the admission. Of course you were completely aware by Oikawa’s shameless advancements. However, there was always a tiny voice in your head that forbade you from accepting it. He was still your friend at the end of the day. No matter how playful forwardness can be, you still didn’t want to jeopardize what the two of you had. Clearly Oikawa was thinking the same thing.

Such a shame it took Hajime to be the nudge the two of you needed.

Iwaizumi allowed your tongue to run over his fingers once more before slowly sliding them out of your mouth. He knocks off the blanket with the back of his hand, allowing your cunt to be exposed to the rest of the room. Your shorts were already nudged down to your mid thigh but of course there was no need for them now. You kicked them off the rest of the way before leaning back into the broadness of your friend’s chest.

Iwaizumi chuckles at your cuteness before returning his hand to its rightful spot: between your legs. 

“Such a pretty cunt she got, huh Tooru?” Iwa asks aloud, using two of his wet fingers to spread open your cunt for a moment, dragging the calloused skin against the soft tissue of your cunt. The question is completely rhetorical because before Oikawa gets the thought of answering, he carries on.

“Y’know you talked a lot of big game in Argentina, really thought you were actually going to book a ticket and fuck her silly. Now look at you,” Iwa looks over your shoulder to see his depraved friend with his hand now in his shorts, openly jerking off the stiff peak between his own legs. Iwa only chuckles before giving his friend more material to jerk off to, stuffing two of his fingers right back into your cunt.

Your body shakes above his, a whimper of sorts leaving past your lips. “H-Haji!” You squeal, one of your hands holding onto his muscular forearm.

Oikawa watches as his friend’s fingers get lost in your cunt, filling in the space so much that he can make out the sight of clear liquid squelching out of the barely open spaces. It slides down the skin of your pussy and ass, eventually landing on Hajime’s gray shorts. 

God, is he this disgusting? Being cucked by his two closest friends since childhood? Wanting to see Hajime fuck you up? Wanting Hajime to fuck him up? Wanting both of you to be forced on your knees, servicing your too stern friend? Wanting to fully lick every last drop of Hajime’s cum only to transfer the rest into your mouth?

His answer was responded with the sudden halt of his hands, already trying to not get himself to cum already. Instead, he tortures himself, looking up just in time to watch his best friend claim his other’s mouth in a heated kiss. Hajime’s fingers sped up to a new pace that now created an audible squelching noise. Forget the movie, Oikawa found a new interest.

And that is getting you absolutely fucked up.

© This work was created by: @kissingchoso​ . Do not share, repost, or recommend on any other platform without consent from the author.

[tobioslune]

liquid courage

Paring: Iwaizumi Hajime x gn!reader

Genre : fluff, comfort? college au kinda, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, Iwaizumi being soft and a simp

Warnings? : implied drinking, (aged up), cursing (from the lyrics), a little smooch 

a/n: This is a draft i started in january but things happened that made me leave it for about like four months lol (if u wanna know what happened while i was writing this you can read it here lol also you could see how i wrote / continued writing it here ) but! im finally finished and im pretty proud of it even though its lowkey all over the place :>> please do check out the song bc it slaps and it’s really good lol okay that’s all for now hope you enjoy <3 (last notee: likes and reblogs are really appreciated!!)

▶ now playing : drunk - dijon 

You and Iwaizumi have been close friends since highschool, and feelings may have been caught during that time. With the reason of not wanting to ruin the relationship you’ve built with him, you tried to brush it off. And like every other trope where you fall for your best friend you expected that he wouldn’t feel the same way.

Surprisingly both of you ended up going to the same university, and you were able to hang out and keep in touch with each other. Everytime you think you’ve set those feelings aside, whenever some romantic tension presents itself, it bubbles up inside all over again. Like an annoying weed that keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. 

School and other work has been pressing on you for the past few months and you just keep getting into a slump. No matter how hard you try, you find yourself in the same place you were over and over again. Iwaizumi noticed this and really tried his best to help but he’s also caught up with a ton of things. 

O baby, I’m lonely and I’m fucked up by myself

 Could uu come here?!  

It was 1am on a Saturday and Mattsun called you. You were working on an essay and it was super unexpected. It was able to shake you from the somewhat trance you were in while trying to think.

“Hey y/n-san I’m so sorry to call you at such a late time and most probably not so nice notice, but is it okay if you pick-up Hajime here at our usual place? Hanamaki and the others have already left and theres a paper I need to take care of, and you’re the only one I could think of.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Did Hajime drink too much like last time?” You think to yourself, ‘How stubborn, I’ve told him last time to be mindful of how much he takes because of his low tolerance’  You found the thought quite amusing.

“He sure has. When will you be able to get here by the way?” Mattsun replies.

“Give me about 15 minutes, it’s not so far from where I live anyways. Can you keep him company for a little while longer?” you tell him. This would be able to get your mind off the stress and exhaustion you’re in hopefully for a little while. Besides you haven’t met him in person for about month so it would be nice to see him again.

“Yeahh I can do that. Thanks again by the way y/n.”

“Suree, anytime. Okay see you in a bit, bye”

“Bye.”

The train stations are already closed at this time, and it would be too much of a hassle to take a cab to and from where he lives so it probably would be best that he crash at your place instead.

You straighten a few things up in your apartment and proceed to grab a jacket, your keys, wallet and your phone, placing it into a small purse. As you closed the door you could already feel a rush of cold air surrounding you.

The walk there was quite refreshing and you felt much better than you did earlier. As you arrived there you could see Mattsun waiting in front. You smiled as you walked toward him. It took him a couple seconds to recognize you as you came into view. 

“Heyy, hope I didn’t take too long” you said as you greeted him with a hug. 

“No, it’s all good you actually arrived faster than I expected”, Mattsun replies returning your smile. 

“He’s inside by the way.” gesturing with the back of his thumb.

“Okay, I’ll go take care of it from here” 

“Thanks again, apologies if it interrupted anything important.” 

“Like I said, it's alright! I got it.” you assure him.

You both bid your goodbyes and you make your way inside the homey bar. There he was, head resting on his right hand and glass of water in the other. You figured he sobered up at least a little bit. 

You let out an amused sigh, “Oh Haj, I’ve told you a couple of times last time to watch it, right?” You took a seat in front of him, leaning your head on your hand. He laughed a little at the statement made. “Sorry y/n, got a bit caught up and forgot.” 

Letting out a low hum you respond, “Anyways, ready to go?” 

“Yeah just give me a moment.” His head was still pounding from the drinks.

I’M WASTING and I’m anxious; I’m fading from myself… 

You placed his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep him upright and stable as you walk. Compared to him he was obviously heavier making it difficult for you to even make it to the door, you were basically stumbling out, but somehow you were able to manage and he was at least trying to cooperate even when everything was practically hazy for him in that moment.

---------- 

You fell for him, and little did you know he did too. You’ve known Hajime as reserved, reliable, firm, caring and surprisingly stubborn at times. He knew that if he told his friends and teammates they would tease him and make it more obvious that's why he kept it in a never said a word. 

He liked you, he liked you so much, but sometimes you just seemed so out of reach to him. Loved by almost everyone, you were beautiful, charming and just overall amazing to him. There were times where he really tried to deny his feelings, his emotions, toward you but whenever another guy would be around you he just can’t help but want you all to himself.

--------

As school progressed your schedule became more hectic and your assignments started to pile up. It felt like an endless mess and an inevitable disaster. He saw how stressed you were but he felt a bit helpless because he didn't know what to do. He couldn’t really help you because of your different courses and besides he wouldn’t even know what to do. As time went on your hangouts became lesser and lesser and sometimes you'd even be too busy or even too tired to chat with him. You would try making plans but your group mates would suddenly set up meetings or deadlines would abruptly be sent and given. 

Although he has tried reaching out, because of how busy you were he was left alone with his thoughts and feelings and he tried to make sense of how he really felt. He wanted to avoid thinking of you but that became difficult for him when almost everything reminded him of you…

“They would have liked this..”, “I should probably ask if they ate.”,  “This would be such a nice gift for y/n.”,  “I wonder what they would think of this.”, it just felt like never ending thoughts of you.

---------

When Matsukawa and the rest of the old team from Seijoh offered him to hang out and catch up he couldn't say no. By going he would be able to hang out with them and it would hopefully be a distraction to help get you off his mind. He knew you were busy and in his head he thought that maybe you didn't like him the say he does. You ran circles around his mind and at time he’s just feel so conflicted and confused.

In the end he got wasted, he felt faded, and just wanted to feel ok. He accidentally ended up telling the boys out of frustration that he had feelings for someone which left him with mixed emotions at times. They found this quite surprising because who would get him so hung up and drunk like that.

COULD U COME HERE?! And say u’ll stay the night 

Although you reminded him last time you went drinking to watch his intake you were still shocked that he was so drunk he could barely think straight. The cold air and silence filled the walk and everything in some way felt alright. You felt at peace and his presence made everything feel comfortable even if you were practically carrying him.

He sighs, “Hey I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess I accidentally let myself go back there again.” 

“It's ok, I mean that's bound to happen to everyone at some point I've got you  don't worry it's fine.” you respond.

“Where are we going, by the way?” He asks.

“I'm taking you back to my place, I mean if you don't mind. The subways are closed and the taxis are hard to come by at this time.” 

“Oh ok, it's fine, I mean I have nowhere else to go to anyways and I don't really mind,”  He says with a flustered laugh.

As you keep walking you pass by a convenience store you both frequently used to hang out at when your schedules weren't so busy.

“Hey Haj, we should stop there for a while just so you could sober up a little more. Also I’m a bit hungry anyway,”  you suggest.

“Yeah good idea, besides you must be kind of tired trying to carry me around for this long.”

You both make your way to the convenience store and you tell him to sit outside while you buy something for the both of you.

 Cause it’s been a while, since I've seen u smiling! O baby, could u come down? I think I’m freaking out! And I’m drunk! 

You step inside and the warmth of the shop embraces you. You then proceed to get some meat buns, and two coffees. As you go to pay you take a glimpse outside to check up on Iwaizumi and to your surprise he was already looking at you. You quickly turn away and you feel a small blush attempting to creep up on your face, but you shake the thought away as you make it to the counter.

You finish paying and walk over to where Iwaizumi is sitting and you place the food down on the table. Handing over a meat bun and a coffee to him, you sit down and sigh in satisfaction as you bite into yours. Somewhat comfortable silence fills the space and you absentmindedly process everything that happened.

“So, how was the hang out with the guys? I haven't seen them in so long. You sure must’ve had fun...” You say in the hopes of making things a little less awkward and quiet.

“Oh yeah it was great.” He replies with his mouth still with food, you laugh and he continues after he finally swallows what he was eating.

“Yeah it was really fun, we got to catch up on a lot and they're doing pretty great I must say. You should come next time, I mean when you're not busy. I miss our hangouts, you know...” 

“Is this not a hangout?” You humorously ask.

“I mean, it is but I'm saying we should hang out more when you're not busy and when I'm not drunk.”  He says with a laugh.

“Yeah we totally should.“ You say with a smile.

“So anyways, how's life?” 

“Well I mean I'm doing ok, but overall just really stressed. Work and papers have been piling up and my head has been pounding for like weeks or maybe even just days you know, but I guess I'm doing fine.” Giving a small laugh to lighten the statement.

“Yeah the workloads really suck right now, they're crazy. But I'm here for you if you need anything even if I don’t really understand a thing from your subjects.”

“Yeah, I know.” You say giving him a reassuring grin.

You both take a brief pause when he suddenly brings up an old inside joke you both had when you were younger. You spend about an hour reliving memories, throwing around jokes, teasing each other and laughing a lot.

Sighing into a smile he says, “I really miss this. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that.” 

“Yeah I missed our hangouts like these, this feels so great and nostalgic in a way.”

And I don’t think I can beat it, I’m paralyzed, I’m terrified of being alone!

You both clean up and start to continue your walk back to your place. All the stress you’ve been feeling earlier feels as if it has left and you feel relieved. As you both near your apartment complex, Iwaizumi stops making you turn back.

“Hey, you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah I’m good.” You then proceed to turn around, but he suddenly continues.

“Listen I need to tell you something, and I need you to promise me that we’re still going to be ok even as friends afterwards.” He says with a slight seriousness on his face

“Yeah, you can tell me anything I promise I'll still stay. I mean unless you're a criminal and you're gonna kill me.” You joke. Moving closer to him you prepare yourself a bit for whatever he would say.  “So what's up?”

He takes a breath, “I like you y/n -san.... and I'm really sorry if you don’t like me after this or if this makes anything awkward or if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I've liked you since high school and I was too scared to say anything because I thought you liked another guy--”

“--I swear even when we were younger there was something about you that just made everyone like you. You were so nice, friendly to everyone, helpful, beautiful, and so much more. You’re captivating to me… and I’m trying to use whatever’s left of this liquid courage to get this off my chest and I think I’m ready for whatever might come next.” 

Your mouth parts slightly from shock because of what he said but it slowly, turns into a huge grin.   

“Hajime, I don't know what to say…” you cut him off before he could say anything, 

“Because I like you too, and I have for such a long time.”

He lifts up his head with hope and a slight disbelief in his eyes, “You do..? You did..?!’’

“Yes..” you say with a small chuckle and a smile plastered across your face. You walk even closer until you're both mere inches away from each other. You take a relieved sigh and make eye contact with him. You wrap your arms around his neck and draw him in for a hug. He places his arms delicately around your waist hugging you back.

He slowly pulls away and cups your face ever so tenderly, pulling you in so that your lips are merely ghosting the others; and he gently kisses you. You felt as if that you were floating on clouds. His lips were so soft and warm it felt so surreal.

You both pull away and he says with a smile, “I've waited and wanted for so long to do that.”

You couldn't believe that everything that happened, actually happened. It felt like a scenario that you would only be able to play in your head. But it was all real and it was all happening. It felt like a dream, and if this were a scene in some cute drama there would have been hearts floating around your head right now, you felt lovestruck.

 Cause it’s been a while, since i’ve thought about the good things, all the bright light things all the good times that we had! It’s been a while, since I made u smile! 

You finally reach your apartment hand-in-hand, sitting down on the couch as soon as you enter. The night was filled with more conversations, laughter and just overall good times. Homework forgotten and disregarded, you let yourself go and have fun. Surprisingly everything felt like it just fell into place. 

You looked at him and maybe it was the alcohol but he was pretty sure he saw stars in your eyes. 

“I can't believe after all this time you're finally and actually mine.” you say.

Whatever magic or fate intertwined and lined you up to this exact moment you just knew that you were forever grateful.

[sleepyowlwrites]

Sleepy's 2021 writing wrap-up accompanied by a little salt but mostly cheerful exhaustion

this event was hosted by @ecwrenn thank you darling. I think I'm late but I only like being early to work. and this is not that.

I don't keep any kind of proper track of my word counts or progress, mostly because I don't really care - I know that I wrote this year and that's good enough for me, word counts are not a motivator - but also because I am disorganized and scramble around afterward of anything to clean stuff up.

here is a very general assessment of the writing that I did this year.

January - I wrote some poetry and meandered around in Youth Story (then temporarily titled Project: Black Rose) and Anxiety Story.

February - I existed, I think. it was around this time that I played (find the word) tag with Maybe Sorcery a lot. also somewhere in here I think we became soulmates but I'm not sure. that might've happened earlier.

March - I made a new wip intro for Anxiety Story (the title is Every Other Star is Silent) and promptly didn't work on it (the wip) for the rest of the year. this is fine. it's a heavy wip and I wasn't up for it. then I made a way-too-early-I-don't-know-what-I-was-thinking wip intro for Magick Story (the title is Spider Silk). I have worked on this wip but only in the worldbuilding department.

April - I did Camp Nano and wrote 21,079 words. it felt great. I tried to do the same in May.

May - I did not write 20K, 15K or even 10K. I started to suspect that I was experiencing some creative burnout. (not quite. I was, at the time, enjoying making doodle art of other writers' wip titles. that was fun and easy.) instead it turns out I was just having a WRITING BURNOUT and subsequently-

June - I didn't really do any writing until the very end of this month was I fell in love with a character and decided to write a study fic of him. and then I did that. after editing it's now at almost 8K. so that's cool.

July - finished that above fic, worked on Youth Story. at some point I made an intro that I worked very hard on. it's already not up-to-date so it's gone now, bye-bye. I have an informal one that works a lot better, and character intros! I worked on those in-

August - still loved that character so I wrote a sequel to my first fic, which is currently being slowly edited and sits at nearly 11K. the character intros were all created and gradually released in-

September - which was a funky month because my sister got married. this has nothing to do with my writing but it happened. by the way, I've been writing poetry all year. most of it is not up on tumblr, but I'll share almost anything in a find the word tag. seriously. I get a little crazy with those things.

October - it actually took me until this month to finish that sequel fic. by this time I have also created 200 wip title arts. also also I've been writing this ridiculously complicated crossover fic in my friend's dms and that makes it into find the word too. also also also I turned 28. hooray.

November - I was very busy at work and wrote poetry and did some tags and eventually realized that I would have to be on hiatus since I couldn't really write or post like I wanted to. oh right, at some point I decided I was finished with Youth Story draft 0. it's at like, 26K? I can't check right now because the docs are closed. I feel like my laptop just sneaky updated because why else would they be closed? unless a ghost did it.

December - I did almost zero writing because I worked overnights at work and just got more and more exhausted as the month went on. I wrote three? four? tiny flash fics and a tiny bit of poetry and then Christmas happened. and just finished happening, for me.

to sum up, I've written probably approximately 55K this year, which I believe is less than last year but whatever! I don't care. I wrote things, and they meant something to me, and also to some other (wonderful) people who said very nice things in tags and such and that's all I want, really. I just want to write things and enjoy it, and I did. so 2021 was not my favorite, but it had good in it. some of it I made by myself, some of it I shared with others, and some of it YOU - writeblr - gave to me. Thank You.

Love, Sleepy

[nanowrimo]

NaNoWriMo Editing 101

During our “Now What?” Months, we’re focusing on providing resources and information to help writers through the revision, editing, and publishing process. Today, Jes D.A., senior editor at Scribendi, a NaNoWriMo sponsor, is here to share some basic editing tips:

Before becoming a senior editor at Scribendi, an online editing and proofreading company headquartered in my hometown, and after completing my first ever NaNoWriMo, I faced a mess of a draft. As I reviewed my work, I was horrified. It was easy enough to give up on the story—and almost NaNoWriMo itself—forever.

This is not a unique situation. Many writers end up frustrated with their drafts (or themselves) after NaNoWriMo, forgetting, after prioritizing writing during November, that the editing stage is just as important as the drafting stage. As noted by Squibler, "Thorough and extensive editing is essential to any novel that makes it to the end of the publishing process."

When I wanted to quit, I had forgotten that NaNoWriMo was only the first step of my journey—that oh-so-important, and arguably most difficult, first step that helps so many writers embark on the stages of writing. But it is far from the only step in the writing journey.

Learned writers know that editing is integral to the writing process. They only allow editing to become a secondary goal to win NaNoWriMo because they know that polishing their writing is a requirement for later. In accepting that quality should always be improved, your imperfect writing can never cause fear. Instead, it feels natural.

As it should. As a professional editor and writer for over five years, I have never seen a manuscript that couldn't be massively improved upon. This is not a reflection of the quality of writing but rather shows just how powerful editing is. And how necessary it is.

Still, NaNoWriMo editing can be a daunting journey, what with so many words to improve, and especially after the considerable effort it took to write them in the first place. For that reason (and more to come), it is an excellent idea to . . . 

Wait to Edit

It's a great idea to wait between the writing and editing stages. A long break is essential to ensuring you can read your manuscript anew, which is required for effective editing. 

Some fear forgetting their work or its outline, for example, but revising as the writer will be much less helpful for your book than revising from the perspective of an outside editor. Fresh eyes are needed for a real evaluation of the quality of your work and the aspects of it that require improvement.

Stephen King, in On Writing, argues that you should let your manuscript sit for at least six weeks before beginning to edit it. For NaNoWriMo participants, this means you should wait until at least mid-January to begin revising your draft. I might argue that the end of February would provide an even fresher perspective. This will give you time for a true break in December and time to plan how you will tackle the editing phase of your NaNoWriMo journey. That means you will also need to . . .

Set Editing Guidelines

Since you are facing such a large draft to edit, it is a good idea to lay out a plan for your NaNoWriMo editing as you likely did for your NaNoWriMo writing. Even if you are a pantser, you had a daily word count goal of 1,667 words per day and the general outline used for all stories (beginning, middle, and end). Plans help to simplify any process, and an editing plan will certainly make the task less daunting. 

At one time, NaNoEdMo was created to help writers through this editing process; the event traditionally occurred in March and specified 50 hours of editing time over the month. Choosing a similar goal or a word count-based goal, as you likely did with NaNoWriMo, is an excellent idea. And, as you may know as a NaNoWriMo participant, staying on track can mean the difference between a workable piece and a draft left finished and forgotten forever.

Don't let your manuscript collect dust for too long. Once you have had a proper break and set a schedule, you should get editing. If you're not sure where to start, it's time to . . . 

Get Editing Help

Editing can feel like a huge undertaking, especially for larger works. Not knowing where to start is not uncommon, as is true when learning any professional skill. But right here at your NaNoWriMo home, you can find lots of help if you're not sure what to do after finishing your first draft. NaNoWriMo HQ provides "Now What?" resources, forums, and webcasts with advice on both editing and publishing. In addition, NaNoWriMo participants can swap novels for feedback or editing, join writing groups, and seek publishing and self-publishing advice in various NaNoWriMo forums.

There are also many online guidelines for novel editing. Scribendi's author blog, for example, outlines advice from experienced fiction editors and writers at Scribendi. For NaNoWriMo editing participants, "NaNoWriMo: Now What?" provides advice on how to actually begin editing your writing, while "Navigating the Publishing Process: A Guide for New Authors" is a helpful resource for when you're finished editing.

Another way many novelists seek help is by having a professional editor revise their first draft on their behalf. This is a good option for novelists who would like to obtain professional feedback before continuing with the writing process. It is also helpful for writers who simply do not enjoy editing and those who want to begin working on their next story while their current story is being edited. 

If you're unsure if external editing would be beneficial for you, a few companies offer a free sample edit. This year, as a NaNoWriMo sponsor, Scribendi offered NaNoWriMo participants a free sample of 2,000 words of editing for their NaNoWriMo novel. If you participated this past year and would like to try editing for yourself, check out Scribendi’s NaNoWriMo free sample. 

Onward!

A rough draft is called rough for a reason. It is more than natural for your winning NaNoWriMo manuscript to be a not-so-winning manuscript if you submit it before it is ready. 

All novels require editing, and, though it might not always feel like it when the time for editing comes, a bad first draft is a wonderful starting place for writers. Giving yourself a true break and some breathing room away from your novel, setting guidelines for when it comes time to edit, and getting editing help can alleviate this common stress for writers and help them achieve a successful edit. 

After all, NaNoWriMo editing can mean the difference between getting published and not, and your story deserves to be shared.

Jes D.A. is a Senior Editor and the Content Marketing Coordinator at Scribendi. She graduated from Western University with an Honors Specialization in Creative Writing and English Language and Literature. Her writing advice has been published on several writing blogs, including Writer’s Digest, and her creative and academic writing has been published in magazines. Jes is also infatuated with the visual arts, and her artwork has been featured in several zines.