#this is all ur getting btw. there is nothing but pain and suffering for the next 10 chapters or so. soz

[freezethebeez]

late night catalyst!ranboo ramblings

transcribed from his mind onto paper. takes place somewhere around ch 14/15 which doesn't make much sense now but will in a month or so <3

fully thingy below the break :]

-

I know you don't like me and I know you're afraid of me and my hands that hurt and my teeth that kill but can you just hold me?

Just for a bit. Just for tonight– just for right now. Maybe–

Wrap your arms around me and maybe–

Your hands tracing patterns on my back sounds lovely right now but playing with my hair works, too, I think– if that's what you want.

But–

-

Don't just– don't let me go to bed alone tonight. I can't– I won't make it another night without anyone beside me, I don't think–

You can just lay beside me.

That'll work, I think.

I can listen to your heartbeat from afar; I don't need my ear pressed against your ribcage; my head doesn't need to lay on your chest.

Maybe I could hold you instead.

Maybe that would be better. Maybe. Less selfish.

And me holding you is the same as you holding me kind of so maybe it'll fill the same holes in my heart.

Do you think it could beat with yours, too, one day?

Do you think I could hold your hand and keep it warm in the winter? Do you think we'll make it to winter at all? Do you think I'll ever be able to look at you and not your neck? Do you think I'll drain you of your blood before then? Do you think–

Do I think I even love you at all?

No. No, I do. I– I think I do.

I think there's a part of me that loves you, at least. I think that very same part wants you dead, but it– it loves you a little.

I want to love you, too.

A little.

Maybe if– maybe you could just...

Could you sleep in my bed tonight?

Could I sleep in yours? Would that make it easier?

Maybe it would be– if I slept here tonight. Just here– just with my forehead pressed against your back.

Maybe I can fall in love with you here. Maybe you could turn around and kiss me goodnight.

Can you kiss me goodnight?

Would you– would you want to?

I would, I think.

Only if you asked me to.

Because I think– I think if you asked me to kiss you, I would. And I think if you– I think I would want to. I think I would. I think– I think it'd be nice and you'd be... nice. And I think you'd– I'd love you then, maybe.

Is that what love feels like?

I don't know.

I don't– friends don't– are we friends? I don't think we... are. I'm not– I don't want to– if you don't–

You can't read my thoughts, I don't think.

At least I hope you can't.

Uh.

I'm sorry.

Goodnight.

[casually-slips-into-coma]

spoilers for iwtv s2e5!!!

initial thoughts throughout:

dubai armand in this ep specifically seems a lot happier than normal. very smiley and kind of excited? like more energy than usual. mans was ready to eat

this fucking turtleneck

loumand library dates

hypnotized security as one does

i like that armand likes to hunt his kills. thought it was a cool detail

made me think of when armand tells daniel to run in the book

daniel was there for gay sex the drugs were just a bonus

he barely registered the coffin. he was like ok ig

the zodiac killer lol

daniel struggling to get the tape out of the plastic lmao

some coke for the gums just in case

you were lonely louis (gagged him)

the extreme change in vibe from daniel shitting himself about louis being a vampire to him laughing along while louis complains about his ex

book quotes!!

daniel validating louis complaining about lestat. theyre just gossiping at this point

BIG time asshole

daniel making A Point and then going sorry and louis saying no,,,,,that🫵was astute🗣🗣

“can u do the fang thing again? i love that, man” hes just like me fr

dangerously unstable psyche ((clocked))

im kinda with her get off that bench brother😭 [about claudia leaving]

jacob the actor you are

ok this whole argument between louis and armand was insane and i replayed it like a million times

kinda love louis coked tf out

being called boring fucking hurts thats a wild argument

he called you a soft beige pillow suffocating him girl u gotta stand up

armand really locked on to the word fascinating

louis said lick my boots😝

gremlin sighting👀

“chop my hands off”👀👀👀👀

picking LINT❓❓off the sofa⁉️ ⁉️

armand mocking him “oh its so hard to be me, its so hard to kill humans, i can feel her feelings as i drain her, louis de point du lac, everyone i know wronged me!”

imitating each others accents

my vampire daddy groomed me into a little bitch holy fuck when they go low i go lower

THE NAME!! the name!! unuttered in our home for 23 years said over and over again until it was pounding in my brain like a hammer!!!!

assad deserves every award my man was actiiiinnggg

she didnt love you/i know

louis :(((

“can u hear her? shes calling me…” ok what if i kms

and then louis runs into the sunlight🙃

hello loml: practical effects

sidestep the big picture get the story straight first daniel said lets lock the fuck in rn we gotta focus

“you said the worst things youve ever said to me” hes just a sopping wet cat

hes fine youre fine this is fine youre all fine

finally seeing unhinged armand ive prayed for times like these

i stand by my cancelled wife btw

small detail of different memories: in louis’ version he apologizes to armand and armand says “meaningless word” and then moves on to talk about the slanted floor. in daniel’s version he remembers the dead guy and the same scene plays out except armand explains he killed the neighbor in between “meaningless word” and how the floor is slanted

vibrating eyes

LOVING how this episode is shot. all the different angles and the camerawork and the fucking MUSIC

canon that louis fucks guys and then kills them fic writers get to it

“128 boys hes brought here—“ “he said it was 5🥺”

daniel basically saying look man ill suck ur dick if u let me go

and then armand making him kneel

armand so unnerving <3

i know its kinda dumb to point out but i love small details of vamp power. specifically how armand picked up that table like it weighed nothing and when he picked up louis

love the idea of louis being like ok just put your feet in the rocks itll help

sopping wet cat armand!!!

but also he really let louis suffer for days instead of just giving him blood to ease the pain😬

lestats voice caught me off guard genuinely

interesting that armand knows where lestat is. i wonder how the show is gonna go about it. is he in the ground??

and refusing to pass along the i love you message……….theres layers here

u left me for death :((

have i atoned for my part of paris👀👀

the armand daniel bite was very do u know what it means to be loved by death

itty bitty armand fangs

need him alive as a testament to our companionship wtf are we even talking about anymore

arun/maitre😵‍💫

the fucking sunglasses im pissing😭😭

he got that shit on tho

welcome back trinity from the matrix

also just the fact that armand came back like yum i had so much fun on that hunt😁 anyway what are you two up to😇☺️

and louis and daniel just had a harrowing 2 hours trying to recover lost memories and coming to the realization that theyve been mega gaslit for decades

armand saying exactly what louis told daniel word for word

a hunch🫢

i love this show

im so excited for next weeks episode this story is unfolding so beautifully. im even more curious now about why and how this second interview is happening. ((also am very confused/curious about what looks like a protest in the promo??))

[bonebabbles]

RUN MILKWEED!! GET AWAY FROM HERE!!!! YOURE NOT FUCKING SAFE!!!!!

Milkweed is a loner who lives around the territory, and has lived here since before the pioneers came down from the mountain. Since they came, she's apparently been harassed by the new group. We know for a fact that Clear Sky was mauling intruders.

I feel like I'm watching her get sucked in, like a wasp with a single foot in a glue trap

Im going to throw up

Milkweed: "Ever since you came, there's less food and land because your MONSTER of a brother invented borders. You only ever show kindness so that you can have reasons to start fights and I have the scars to prove it"

Gray Wing: "nooooo we totally came to share ur land and food haha."

Like Bumble? Did you share the land and food with her? Or did you happily watch her get dragged back to her domestic abuser because she had no place living on the land or eating the food YOU claimed as your own?

How many times did you force Gorse and Wind to prove themselves before letting them live with you, btw? And why exactly did they take those new names, hm? Remind me im so curious

"It was actually the sickness that killed all the prey I prommy. Not Clear Sky with his massive piles of rotting meat back in Books 2 and 3. Overhunting has nothing to do with it, and all the violence is actually EVIL FOREIGNERS who love PAIN AND SUFFERING"

"But... One Eye existed before you guys and he only has a body count of 2 people, and I think one was illness anyway? Like, didn't your brother kill 3 so far plus like well over ten other--"

She is interrupted by the rumbling sound of Gray Wing's brother-loving eyes, suddenly welling up with 2 years of sunk cost fallacy, bursting like a pipe. She is knocked off balance like the unfortunate target of a Blastoise, sent across the moor as if the hill had spontaneously converted into a slip-n-slide

I wish he died in the first book so fucking bad. Doesn't even hesitate. "YOU SHOULD JOIN MY BROTHER, THE GUY WHO CAUSED ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS! THEN YOU WON'T BE LOCKED OUT OF TERRITORY YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO WALK IN FREELY :D

Milkweed: "He murdered my friend and stole her fucking children"

Gray Wing: "psssh. He only suggested slaughtering those babies until his friend offered to mother them. Plus he's tooootally different now"

(Meanwhile, in the distance, Clear Sky is standing in front of his famous Orphan Grinder, shoveling orphans into it, but he nailed a wooden sign to the end of the title that makes it read "BUT REDEEMED NOW")

[kayla-2]

i dont get why feyre demolished her sisters apartment (+with all the other people there) and made her train, lock her up basically against her will with no escape except stairs which she could physically not do. Feyre had this massive ass breakdown when tamlin did the same to her. so why is she doing it to her sister. yes nesta had drinking problems and yes she was wasting money but don't act like feyre did anything to earn that money. they all live in velaris where nothing wrong goes on while other people in other parts of the court suffer and pay taxes because they arent seen as "dreamers" or wtv bs that is. personally i feel like nesta and feyre could have such a good relationship if rhys didnt keep coming in the middle of it. Also nesta's drinking problem was a problem but when the whole ic was drunk and im talking about mor when it says she's always drunk at rita's etc. so thats ok but when nesta does it, it's not?

i think each character could have had such a great story but sjm ruined it by going back on her own words. if acotar feyre saw acowar feyre she would murder herself. she became the thing she didnt want to be. its not even like any of the ic respect feyre. they hid the fact that she could die. thats so out of order because its feyre's body and she has the right to know. yes nesta told her out of her own spite but at least someone told her. and dont even get me started on acosf cassian because wtf was he even on.

sorry this was kind of me ranting. i would love to hear ur opinions on what i said and just ur thoughts in general (this isn't me sending hate btw) (it depends on my mood sometimes im anti ic sometimes im pro i think it depends on what specific media i see that day portraying those characters)

I don’t even think feyre should’ve helped n.esta, so I don’t know how to respond.

Feyre gave her an ultimatum, and she agreed to go to the house of wind. She wasn’t forced. Tamlin didn’t even speak to Feyre and abused her multiple times. It’s very irresponsible to compare the 2 situations as no one in the inner circle messed with N.esta like she asked until a year later and gave her unlimited money and her sisters tried to reach out and was pushed away. I know the fandom mysteriously forget n.etsas actions to vilify Feyre and the inner circle but I don’t.

Feyre wanted her train to help the powers that were tormenting her. I wish n.esta fans would actually understand her because you wouldn’t be upset about her training since lack of control is what was causing her pain. She ends up wanting to be trained and invited others because she didn’t want to feel weak anymore. Which she explicitly said like wtf?!?

She was drinking to escape and not dealing with her problems that different from causally drinking. If she had a job or money they wouldnt be able to do anything but Feyre has the right to say I’m not “funding anything that destroys you.” Which if you are a fan, why would you be upset??

Personally, Feyre did nothing wrong and n.esta would’ve died in that apartment if she didn’t do anything. Which she should not have. Especially since it’s bringing unnecessary hate to her. She’s not n.estas mom and don’t owe her anything. P.S it was not even n.estas apartment, she paid absolutely nothing and didn’t work. Why did feysand destroy their apartment they pay for?. They were already rebuilding old or destroyed buildings

[neechees]

a semi popular trope in the horror genre is that a place is haunted bc it's built atop of an indian cemetery (ugh). do you personally think this premise could potentially be good if used by actual native creators? (not trying to start anything btw, genuinely curious abt ur opinion)

It would have to be a subversion of the trope, because this trope & its function in horror as it is relies on two things:

The demonization of Native peoples & our spirituality

The fear of Native people (ghosts) seeking revenge for colonization & the desecration of sacred Native spaces

The whole trope was essentially started (or jn the very least popularized) by the White person who wrote "The Amityville Horror" as a book, & then later the movie, but mostly the movie. In the book, the author claims that the Amityville house is haunted by angry Native ghosts because it was an area where Shinnecock Natives abandoned their mentally ill & disabled people to die, whereas the movie claims it was an "Indian (Shinnecock) Burial ground" where devil worshippers later resided, & the Native ghosts are mad about the house being there & their graves being disturbed.

Just a few problems here:

the author is full of shit, & that wasn't true at all. The Shinnecock did not treat their mentally ill or disabled people this way (let alone abandon or leave them there in that specific area) & they said as much since the book came out, and

As of yet, there is no archeological evidence of that specific area where the house is being a Native burial ground, & while there were Native people living around there, it was the Montauk people's territory & them who frequented the area, not the Shinnecock. They also did not abandon their mentally ill or disabled there.

So basically the Indian Burial Ground trope was created based on a lie to explain away why bad things happened at this house, when it's not actually haunted, & there was never actually any burial ground there. Essentially Native ghosts are to blame, not an asshole murderous White guy killing his family. It wasn't HIS fault, it was because of evil Indian ghosts & the bad energy influencing him!!!

This is the function of The Indian Burial ground, is to be used as a lazy shorthand to explain why supernatural things are happening or why an "evil" energy is there, & that's it. In the "evil" energy bit, a la Stephen King (think The Shining), there's only a shallow, surface level theme of saying "The genocide of Native people was bad & the ongoing disrespect of their sacred sites is also bad", because it's still using the Indian Burial ground trope, but again, it never gets any deeper than that & is only used to explain why supernatural things are happening. Movies that use this trope in the latter way never actually explore the ongoing effects of colonization, White ppl's complicitness and/or role in their own White privilege over Native sites & how they & their ancestors benefitted from the removal of Native people or desecration of our sites, they are never called out for them disturbing a sacred Native site, nothing. The White characters also do not try to amend what has happened or leave the area alone to appease the Native ghosts, & of course there's never any Native characters involved to try help, call out the White characters' bullshit, or lead the situation. Native characters are largely absent, but our ancestors' suffering is used as a plot device. But the Native ghosts are demonized all the same.

The demonization of the Native spirits is key. Somehow they're "evil" & to blame no matter what. The Native spirits are demonized for wanting justice for the desecration of their graves, but the White characters aren't bad for doing it. & even when again, it's a surface level observation that "this is bad", Native pain is used as a plot device but we're not actually present as characters to move the story. We're still supposed to feel for the White characters on some level, because why else would this be considered "scary" & why are the Native spirits "evil"?

The Indian Burial Ground trope is also generally based on a misunderstanding of how a lot of Native spirituality works & our relationship with our spirits, so in order for a Native creator to use this, it would either probably be a parody of the trope, or a takedown & subversion to show how wrong it is, because the whole thing was built on 1. A lie 2. Demonization of us & our spirits and 3.a misunderstanding of our spirituality

[swordmaid]

having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?

[trickstarbrave]

I just had an au idea heavily inspired by Shamat and Riiju-lei….

Im half awake and on my phone btw pardon any typos or if it’s incoherent

Yknow Nerevarine becomes Nerevar and it’s the 4th era and all that. Except Nerevar and Voryn last left off on a really bad note. Voryn was already super corrupted by the heart but Nerevar thought he was at least semi-lucid. And Voryn had pretty harshly told Nerevar he hates him and never wants to see him again. That he’ll kill Nerevar himself to finally be free of him. And post killing dagoth ur this still fucks Nerevar up

He’s not evil Nerevar he just has. Bad ptsd from everything along w insomnia and psychosis (I have psychosis and I like writing characters with it) and he’s convinced that while he was madly in love w Voryn and tried to use that love to convince him out of the fight in the heart chamber… Voryn never really loved him. They were only friends for convenience on Voryn’s end and Voryn probably began to hate and resent him early on in the friendship but had to stay close bc Nerevar was king and could pose a threat if he let his real feelings show so he’d rather act like he enjoyed Nerevar’s company and subtly manipulated him just to survive

So when he finds Voryn’s reincarnation injured and low it’s… it gives him many mixed feelings. He’s happy to see Voryn’s face again, and also believes Voryn wouldn’t want Nerevar anywhere near him reincarnation or not. He feels guilty enjoying his reincarnation’s smile and laughter and sweet voice. But he tells himself over and over that it’s just for his sake, he would send the reincarnation somewhere else if he could but Nerevar is the best person to protect him at the moment. It’s just temporary and he’ll let the reincarnation now somewhere outside of Morrowind where he’ll actually be safe. He kept his distance enough that it’s not a super painful goodbye on the reincarnation’s heart, but he does wonder why he feels so cold and empty leaving. Nerevar wishes him good luck and sets him off to Skyrim

Where dragonborn shenanigans happen and alduin is slain. And then the gang goes to Solstheim where cult shit (outside miraak’s) happens and oops. Dagoth ur and Voryn Dagoth are both trying to get in that body. It’s a chaotic mess. Most of the cultists are dealt with but Neloth calls in Nerevar

And Nerevar. Well. He’s not happy to hear it at all but he comes running and does know the solution. He and Divayth were working on making sure dagoth ur never returns—Azura prophecized his reincarnation after all, and Nerevar interpreted in the most dire way possible assuming she meant dagoth ur and not Voryn. (To Nerevar of course she wouldn’t bother just telling him about Voryn coming back because it’s not like it concerns him. Voryn would want nothing to do with him, and hated him arguably more than the tribunal did. So she must be warning dagoth ur would be coming back)

The mask ritual is what they came up with to banish dagoth ur. But divayth warns him since he hypothesizes Voryn’s soul is completely bound to dagoth ur, a reincarnation choosing to banish dagoth ur will banish Voryn’s personality, memories, etc with it. He’ll truly never see Voryn again and won’t even have the chance to talk to him abt what happened and apologize. Nerevar says that’s definitely for the best, because as much as he wants it he doesn’t want to hurt Voryn either.

He would have done it on the reincarnation at the temple to be safe but his reincarnation seemed so sweet and lovely, he couldn’t bear the thought. The ritual is likely going to be painful and miserable and he didn’t do anything to deserve it, he didn’t choose to be Voryn’s reincarnation.

But he assures team dragonborn this is their best bet and if they encourage him he’ll be able to fight it off. He doesn’t tell them about his close relationship with Voryn or even that any bits of Voryn in him will also be banished because he doesn’t. Really think it’s relevant their friend is suffering trying to fight it off himself. And he’s in a bad way fluctuating rapidly from classic dagoth ur insults, screaming, confused screaming, and begging for Nerevar to help him—team dragonborn initially confused on who Nerevar is.

And the ritual is a success! Only it didn’t banish Voryn but instead made all of it surface in his mind and he’s out cold processing it for several days. It all seems to have worked though and he can’t sense dagoth ur’s influence on him in the slightest. Makes sure to get him all set up with healers. Though he still tries to keep his distance despite team dragonborn being like “hhhhhey db seemed to know you and kept calling for you to help what was that” and Nerevar laughs it off that he knew the man dagoth ur used to be as they were political allies for a time and basically coworkers AND he helped the reincarnation when he was injured one time so it probably all bled together. Hey he and divayth are going to be the only two ppl alive now who know there’s more to it than that his reincarnation doesn’t need to know how much bad blood there really was between them more than absolutely necessary. He’ll probably already be upset about dagoth ur and everything he doesn’t need to feel guilty about what Voryn said (and Nerevar does believe Voryn was probably in the right on that one). He does spill though that Voryn’s personality and memories will be gone AFTER the ritual is finished, but he tries to do that to reassure them that almost everything should be back to normal and they can forget this all every happened really

But uhhhhh yeah. Dragonborn wakes up with Voryn’s memories crying and demanding to go to morrowind to speak with Nerevar. Team dragonborn reassured him that Nerevar is already here on Solsthiem bc neloth called for him to help with the whole tribunal cult and weird possession shit. Lucien probably is like “he said he and your previous incarnation—well before dagoth ur—was your coworker of sorts. But that not to worry, your won’t remember anything from that man either!”

And the dragonborn has to deadpan “a little late for that. I remember everything” or smth along those lines. Just feeling absolutely awful for what he said to Nerevar before Nerevar was forced to kill him. And then gets told “he said you were political allies and coworkers” and has to go “COWORKERS?! WE WERE CLOSR FRIENDS FOR CENTURIES. THE CLOSEST OF FRIENDS. I TOLD HIM ALMOST EVERYTHING WHAT DO YOU MEAN COWORKERS?!?!” Before it dawns on him that ohhhhhh god neht actually thought this ritual would banish all of Voryn’s memories too and he’d never remember Nerevar again. But was willing to give that up to truly free him from dagoth ur’s influence like he couldn’t do so long ago. He’d rather lose his closest friend and the man he loved for a THIRD time than risk Voryn losing himself again.

[phantasmiafxndom]

idk if ur taking pet au reqs for twst, so if u dont then im ok w it being soldier or test subjecr au :)

can i req vil with a superior who likes to mutilate him to leave scars? they know how much he values his looks, so they find even the smallest things to punish him for and constanty threatens to abandon him while he's all 'marked' and 'unworthy' so that no one else would ever want him again

be as creative as u want pls xD hot iron sticks? whips? cleavers? all and more r on the table ;) (btw imagine marking your name on vil's skin with those hot iron seals used on animals)

Soldier Au it is!! >:3c

. . .

Typically, Vil prides himself on his ability to stay ahead. He's efficient, respectful, and capable of accomplishing any mission set out for him, so he's never really been punished until now. It doesn't make sense. He's not doing anything wrong, not really, but you're taking every chance to do more and more horrible things to him. And your choice of torment doesn't make it better. Vil's looks are one thing that he's always been able to control— even at his lowest, maintaining his appearance was one small scrap of autonomy that kept him going through some of his most painful times. He's always been able to have at least that, so why—?

It gets to him. It really, really gets to him. If there were at least failures to explain his suffering, it would be better, but there's nothing. He's tortured for absolutely no reason other than your enjoyment The ever-multiplying scars keep getting worse, and despite his best efforts, Vil winds up slowly starting to believe your awful words. If he's worthless enough for you to do this, in the first place, there's surely some truth in what you say.

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie<3 the two hour class route anon here and i wanted to tell you that i just finished reading nothing happens. and oh god. oh gOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD JAMES ARE YOU OKAY??? I CANNOT BELIEVE THE MAN WHAT IS HE DOING WTF???? but also like... get it tho i hope u stay delusional as long as possible bc ohh he's gonna get so hurt😭😭 also him just casually saying 'we're such bros<3' abt reg after haviNG HIS HAND DOWN HIS PANTS HE'S SO UNSERIOUS ONG😭 and reg is just like '🧍‍♂️is this bitch fr-' bc wHAT is the meaning of platonic for these two

but. also. james just feeling sm love for reggie from when they meet that he doesn't even suspect he has romantic feelings for him bc he's just. always felt that way???? oh my GOD IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE

also emma😭 she's just going through it bc what kind of shit is this man pulling w her i was actually flabbergasted reading how james justified that damn kiss ong???

honestly just really looking forward to sirius' reaction to all this when he figures it out. i mean he spent like 3 years having his bsf and brother be jealous of each other for having to share him and now they're just doing whatever it is that they're doing and he cant even get mad at james bc the man doesn't even know‼️‼️ he's actually gonna go bald over these two omg

absolutely love them sm will be thinking abt these two on the route tmrw they're so so precious and silly i love them hope they get their shit together, even if its just for the sake of sirius' hair💗 thank you soo much for writing and sharing them with us i hope you have a great week<33

(also- didn't manage to complete the paper but the deadline hasn't passed yet so i'll just complete it tomorrow)

OMG HI BABE <333 genuinely don't know how u can deal with such a long commute, it takes me like . 45 min to get to work and that's already painful enough..

anyway HE IS NOT OKAY THAT'S THE PROBLEM and yes he's gonna get quite hurt, both he and reggie will be suffering A Lot and it's mostly bc they're dumb . and ridiculous . and also obsessive and toxic and don't know how to maintain a healthy dynamic. the make out scene is HILARIOUS to me, i couldn't keep a straight face while writing it, james is not real he really isn't. reg is at his fucking limit ngl. and also . quite confused

HE LOVES REGGIE SO FUCKING MUCH LIKE IT'S LOWKEY CONCERNING ATP but yeah if u stop and think about it, it does make sense, why james is unable to . distinguish between platonic and romantic when it comes to reg

I KNOWWWW i'm team james always that's my boy but also . i totally support emma, she should've punched him imo, bc what was james even saying HE WAS SO FUCKING INFURIATING DURING THAT WHOLE CONVO I SWEAR

oooooh i'm also looking forward to writing sirius' reaction, it's one of my fav parts of nothing happens, bc he does . go insane . although probably not for the usual reasons. but it's a very complicated situation and sirius is kinda . conflicted considering who are the ppl involved. IT'S SUCH A MESS he will go bald at this rate

i'm so very happy you like them so far and that ur loving this series this much <3 ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING YOU'VE BEEN BRAINROTTING ABOUT THEM (me too btw ur so very real). and they will get their shit together i promise!! it's gonna take quite long and i can't promise they'll have a healthy relationship by the end of this but !! they'll sort things out <333

(good luck my love, i hope u finish it in time for the deadline, i'm rooting for u and sending u a very big hug LOVE U <3)

[visbabylily]

Violets and Vendettas | Vi x Reader

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎 

𝚅𝚒 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 | 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝙰𝚞

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 : Stars shine brighter before they die, she should’ve known they will end up with the same tragedy...

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 : Smoking(I dont condone smoking, but I needed it for the plot, but please dont smoke! it’s not good for ur health!), degrading words?(it’s not really as bad but I feel people might be uncomfortable cause they talked and called the reader being just a “pair of legs to get into”please don’t get too mad), making out, abuse, talks of murder, matured themes, smut if ur young please get off, you won’t like it it’s dirty dirty bad bad, um and what else idk i feel like it’s just really bad Im so sorry 😭

Word count : 2.5k ish, I edited it on my phone so much idk even know anymore

Chapters : {One}, Two, Three, Four,

A/N: I want to thank this really good writer (idk if I can tag her, she’s so nice she probably won’t mind but I don’t wanna trouble her😖) that I have been following, for bending me over the table and spanking my bootycheeks giving me kind words to push myself to even post this😇, she’s a really good writer and I was a fan of her fics so her words alone really had a huge impact on me and was able to give me courage and inspiration to write and post it, so if she ever sees this i hope she doesn’t tho im so shy, Thank you so much ☺️

A/Npt2: Im not a good writer, but I really hope you’ll like it 😭, this isn’t just a one shot btw, there’s going to be more chapters to come, Im also really sorry if it gets too confusing or if I didn’t deliver my words or messages correctly, but Im always open to constructive criticism and will take any advice ☺️thank you! I hope you enjoy! 🥰

═══════════════════════════

Everyone has something they fear, even the strongest ones like herself have something they’re scared of, and when you were young, your parents will tell you stories about the boogeyman, the creature that will haunt you at night if you misbehave, it’s scary, isn’t it?

But see, fear keeps us alive, You’re scared of the boogeyman? Hide under your blanket. It will protect you, but protection comes with a price...weakness, if you keep hiding and running for too long without facing your fears, it’ll never go away and it will make you weak, after all, fear has two meanings...

Will you…Forget everything and run ? or Face everything and rise ?

But she was never scared of the boogeyman tho, she knows she can easily knockdown a coward who only shows himself when it turns dark, but there is something...something she believes is scarier than the boogeyman...she calls him The Spider lily

The man who ruined not just hers but many others life and took everything away from her, the one who put her in prison, a literal hell where she spent every second of her life in a never ending suffering, where she gets hurt and beaten everyday, bruised and bloodied, left to starve in a corner of an isolated cell with nothing but the pain of broken bones keeping her from the sweet escape of sleep

But today arises a chance for her to make everything right, to face her fears, and to put a stop to the Spider lily’s reign of terror over her mind...

The whoots and whistles of inmates as she’s walking out the long hallway annoyed her, it was like a bunch of loud cicadas stuck to the trees like flies, during the annoying summer seasons

“We’ll see you again, sweetheart” The man in uniform towered over her with his big and burly figure, sneering at her face, to which she return with no hesitation

“Next time, I’ll make sure it’s you behind those bars” She tsked at him, glaring, to which he only laughed at, loud ugly laugh and snorts coming out of his mouth, her lips frowning in disgust

“We’ll see about that” The guy replied back, roughly shoving her items in her chest, she grunted a little because of the box hitting her sore and bruised ribs, she didnt say anything and left

“Thank you for staying in Lemmein Prison, we hoped you enjoyed your stay, Vi” The guy yelled at her with a mocking tone as she’s walking out, welcoming the heavy drops of water that the dark looming sky provided, she looked up and embraced the rain, letting it soak her clothing, the cold seeping through her bones, she gave the guy her middle finger as reply

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

She likes to party, the feeling of vibrations coming out of the booming speakers, traveling through her legs and shaking her chest from the inside, the loud music, the crowd, it all drowns out her thoughts, and she feels the most free during it

The pretty boys and girls and the drinks were just a bonus…

Her eyes stung as the heavy smoke of cigarettes wafting through the air assaults her eyes, she surveyed the area some more, despite the heavy pouring of the rain, the small club was packed with people, ranging from young to old, to men and women

“Out of all the people here today, no one interesting bothered to show up?” She mumbled to some of her friends, her eyes catching the sight of a group of college frat boys looking at her, lightly shoving each other and pointing at her direction

“...gross” she mumbled rolling her eyes and turning away from them, not wanting to give them even a second of her time, her friend slap her arm lightly to which she yelped at and held the attacked arm, turning her attention to her attacker

“Y/N Oh my lord, You’re such a party-pooper, come on everyone here is literally looking at you, why be so picky ?” her friend Judy, said, her dark skin glistening under the spinning disco ball, beautiful tight braids bouncing on every sway of her body, the tips ghosting over her curves

“Im not being picky” She pouted to which one of her friends, Olivia laughed at, sweeping her ironed bleach blonde hair off her shoulders, mesmerizing blue eyes on Y/N, who was now rubbing her arm

“Oh come on, what’s new?” Olivia chuckled before pausing and taking a sip of her alcoholic drink, “she’s like, allergic to men” she finished

“Im not allergic to men, they’re just...not my type” she said, the last part coming out as a mumble, Olivia scoffed at her

“Why tho? they’re like totally hot” She said, turning to look at the boys and giving them a tiny wave to which they returned, Y/N just shook her head and went back to looking around the busy club, not at all interested at the ‘totally hot’ boys Olivia was now getting accustomed to

Her eyes danced around the mingling people some more, and just like the time when Moses parted the red sea, the people around suddenly parted away from each other, giving her eyes passage to land her gaze on the lone person sitting at the bar stool, a glass of straight whiskey in her bandaged right hand the left patting and searching the pockets of her red jacket looking for something to light the stick in between her lips 

Smiling to herself, she walked out the little table her friends was sat in “Hey where are you going?” Judy called out to her

But it all fell onto deaf ears as her heel clad legs walked towards the hooded girl, a guy walked towards her, trying to meet her in the middle but her peripherals were slowly closing in and forming a tunnel vision directly towards at the red jacket girl, she easily dodged the guy with a swerve to her left, to which she almost bump into a guy, and without even sparing him a glance, she grabbed the guy’s lighter out of his hands, in the middle of lighting his cigarette

“Hey!” he exclaimed, surprise written on his face as he stared longingly at the beautiful girl walking in sync with the beat of the song…and his stolen lighter 

The hooded girl was still searching her pocket, a frown now on her face, Y/N swiftly sat on the stool next to the girl, outstretching her arms, and clicking the lighter open, small fire coming out of the opening 

“Need a light hottie?” Y/N asked, smirking slightly, making sure to show off her barely covered shoulders, hips slightly jutted out, enhancing her curves even more, the troubled girl abruptly turned towards her, cold blue-gray eyes looking at her cheeky face and her offered hand...

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Vi was thankful that even after all the time she was gone, her friend has never forgotten about her, nor change his number, but out of all the places they could’ve met up, she didnt expect for his friend to led her to a club, reluctantly she sighed and went in 

The old classic, Dangerous by Kardinal Offishall featuring Akon was the first thing that greet her when she walked in, the booming music ringing in her ears, making her wince, she walked towards the bar stool, pushing people out of the way and bumping into them as she weaved her way through the packed crowd 

“Whiskey. Straight” She nodded to the bartender, who immediately started making her ordered drink, after mere seconds, a glass of whiskey and an ashtray was left in front of her 

She grabbed the glass and took a sip, leaving the bitter and strong taste of alcohol as she gulped it down her throat, she then reached for her jacket, taking out the mushed pack of cigarettes 

Menthols really? she thought to herself as she remembered the guy she had to put to sleep, maybe even a hospital, just to get ahold of the red jacket, she shook her head and searched inside the pockets for a lighter 

And no lighter too are you serious? she thought once again, getting grumpy the longer she searched inside, she was lost in her own thoughts and adventures of finding something to ignite the death stick hanging from her lips that she didnt see the girl walking straight towards her

“Need a light hottie?” A voice called out to her, surprising her and making her turn around to face the sweet call, her eyebrow raised at the sight she was blessed with, a beautiful girl, hips jutted out, bare shoulders in full display for her, and manicured hands offering her a lighter, the fire slightly swaying from the soft wind, threatening to die out, the girl was simply beautiful and Vi didnt need her eyes to see that, Vi never really had that much of a sweet tooth but right now, she cant help but crave for one the longer the girl stood in front of her, like a piece of candy waiting to be enveloped by her tongue

Slowly, she leaned her face in the girl’s direction, getting the cigarette close to the fire, never taking her eyes off of the girl, who subtly bit her bottom lip, Vi stared at her for a few moments, studying the way she seemed to be in some sort of a trance, she took a puff of the cigarette and blew the remaining smoke she couldnt inhale into her lungs, out in the open air

“So, you come here often?” The girl asked, Vi watching her shove the lighter in a guy’s chest without even looking at him, who seemed to grumble at the fact that the beautiful girl wasnt paying him attention any time soon 

She took another puff before speaking “No, I just got out of prison” Vi replied, the girl’s eyes squint a little bit, a small smirk forming on her red painted lips

“Oh? what for?” The girl asked, mistaking Vi’s honesty as a flirting method, she tucked her (H/C) colored hair behind her ears, before leaning in close towards Vi, who returned the gesture, hovering her lips just above the girl’s and whispered sensually “Murder” 

The girl pulled back a little, eyes a little wide and wary, glass of (E/C) looking over her, studying her 

“Do you introduce yourself to people like that often, or ?” She chuckled nervously, Vi noticed the fiery confident woman flickering away, slowly molding into a more flustered and cautious one the longer Vi let the the silence linger, she smirked, watching the girl visibly gulp

She didnt know what happened, in a span of mere seconds, they were in an alleyway, outside the club, under someone’s small balcony, acting as a roof and shielding the from the heavy downpour, shoving her lips onto the girl’s mouth, who returned it with much fervor, it surprised Vi, she couldnt believe that the girl was willingly letting a possible murderer’s tongue wander around her mouth like this, maybe the girl finds the fact that she might’ve killed someone hot or whatnot, but Vi couldnt think straight as she delved in deeper, loosing herself in the warm embrace of her plump and painted lips

Vi broke away from the kiss, sinking her lips onto the girl’s neck, licking and leaving bite marks on it, the intoxicating aroma of her sweet floral perfume rushing through her nostrils, infecting her mind and sending her to an overdrive as her hands slowly slid the strap of her dress off of her shoulders, not enough to fully get her chest naked but enough to have her shoulders exposed to Vi’s indelicate attacks, greedy hands now wandering and groping her body, smaller hands then comb through her wet pink hair as the girl released an enticing moan when Vi nipped at her collarbone drowning out the noisy bustling of the streets and Paul Anka’s Put your head on my shoulders softly playing in the background 

Vi kept kissing the girl, switching from her lips to her neck, she didnt know what she was doing, maybe being in prison for long years made her so touch starved that she was ready to jump and devour the first woman she lays her eyes on, but she wasnt ready to stop just yet, she’ll regret it later but for now she decided to bless herself with the woman’s grace

It wasnt until a someone softly bumped into her that she managed to get out of the girl’s hypnotizing hold over her, all of her actions stopped and the girl seemed to have noticed 

“What’s wrong?” The girl asked, trying to look into Vi’s eyes, who has her face buried in the girl’s shoulder

“I-I have to go” She mumbled into her shoulder, giving it one last peck before pushing herself off of her and into the pouring rain

“What? wait!” The girl chased after her, pushing her straps back in place before taking ahold of her stolen jacket making Vi stopped in her tracks to face her, both of them now standing under the rain 

“so that’s it? you just…cop a feel then leave when you feel like it?” The girl asked, lipstick-smothered lips now pulled into a frown 

“Maybe next time, if we meet again” Vi replied, big hands gently grasping her chin, her thumb playing with her bottom lip, the girl didnt take kindly to this and snatched her face away from Vi’s gentle hold, mumbling “...asshole” as she walked away, hailing a cab and driving off into the dark and rainy night…

“You definitely would’ve fucked the girl if I didnt stop you” Vi heard a voice grumbled from behind her

“Yes I would, thanks for ruining my night” Vi said, turning around to face the guy, light hair contrasting against his dark skin, exchanging stare with his warm brown eyes which now glints with mischief

“Wow what a horndog, you get out of prison and the first thing you looked for is a pair of legs to dive into” The guy said, smirking at her to which Vi rolled her eyes at, she walked closer towards him, arms outstretched, pulling him into a hug 

“I missed you, little man” 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“What an asshole, urgh! God, this is why you dont trust pretty faces, especially those attached to a hot bod” Y/N mumbled to herself as she got inside the cab, wet bodycon dress sticking uncomfortably to her skin, the cold of the rain making her shiver as the air conditioning of the cab touch her goose-bumped skin

“Where to Ma’am?” the driver asked 

“Sunrise Avenue please, Hurricane Street, Katrina building” She mumbled and the cab took off, she leaned against the window of the cab as it drives into the seemingly never-ending rain 

The drive back to her house didnt take long, before she lost herself to her thoughts too much the bright lights coming out from her building’s windows greeted her, she got off the car and paid the driver

Y/N walked inside and felt the warmth from the heater rushed to hug her cold shaking body, she walked towards the elevator, the operator opening the doors for her 

“Which floor ma’am?” He asked, smiling politely at her 

“top floor, please” she said and the operator pushed the button for the penthouse-apartment located at the very top of the 24 story building 

They arrived at a short moment, the operator held the door open for her, “here we are, Ma’am” he said to which she replied a quiet “thanks” she walked out the elevator and was immediately greeted by her giant front doors, the big looming doors intimidating her, she sighed and pushed the door open, getting inside and heading straight for the shower 

She sighed to herself once again as she washed her body, fingers hovering over where the red-jacket girl’s lips have been, caressing the red marks forming on her neck and collarbones, the evidence of her unfortunate night

“What were you thinking?” She asked herself, looking at her own (E/C) staring back at her in the mirror as she continued to wash away, “...stupid, stupid Y/N” she let out a heavy sigh, letting the water softly ran through her body, the droplets rolling in between her cleavage, reminding her of the feeling of the rain as she stood and stared at the cold gaze of the hooded girl…

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

After getting out of her very self-reflective moment in the shower, she walked towards her living room area, hands drying her locks with a towel, trying to rid as much water as possible, the tall glass pane preventing her from falling to her death as she looked upon the shining city lights, looking like stars beneath her feet, she stayed gazing at the faux stars until she heard the soft sound of her mail slot rattling open and closing immediately afterwards, then a light fluttering sound of paper falling on her cold tiled floors

She walked towards the entrance of her dark home, the only light guiding her path was the lights seeping through her tall tempered windows, the outline of her shadows coming to a stop as she did, she walked slowly towards the paper now on the floor

It was a jet black envelope, with a cursive “Y/N” written on the back in gold ink, the glitter in the ink glisten every time it catches a ray of light, she opened the envelope and was greeted by a white and gold marbled piece of paper, the paper was beautiful the intricate and careful swirls of gold mixing with the stark white paper brought a smile to her face

“Lovely…” She whispered to the paper, bringing it close to her nose to smell the unmistakable aroma of roses and jasmines on the paper, she then observed the paper and in it written in black ink, the dark letters contrasting with the light colored paper said

“Lady Y/N L/N, it will be our utmost pleasure to have your presence grace our upcoming white and gold party that will be held in

Sunrise Avenue, PB street, Babyah Building

On Friday, Quarter to midnight

We will be expecting your arrival, thank you and good day

Sincerely, The Lockhart Family”

Y/N sighed as she threw away the paper somewhere, mixing in with all her other college reports scattered around the place

She walked into her dressing room, to take out a long white tube top silk dress, with a slit on the left side, and only a long thin strip of gold chain laced with diamonds serving as a strap and supporting the wide opened back of the beautiful dress

She hanged the fabric onto the coat rack just beside it, and got herself a pair of white opened toe heels, the same piece of diamond-laced gold chain serving as an ankle strap, putting it under the hanged dress

Hmm, maybe a leg chain too ? she thought as she walked up to her vanity table, opening a drawer to pull out a gold chain once again laced with shining diamonds, she nodded to herself and left the diamond on the table

With her outfit ready, she walked to her giant California king sized canopy bed, laying herself against the soft mattress, and amidst the many soft pillow, in her cold and dark house, she has never felt more alone…

═══════════════════════════

A/N : that’s the end of first chapter, I like re-read it for like 10 times before I even posted this, I feel like it’s so bad😭, but please let me know what you think☺️, also I feel like it was a little too short, but I wanted to leave some sort of like cliffhangers, ig? but please let me know if you want longer chapters ☺️

P.S did you get some of the meme reference? 🌝

-🎶

[sailorhyunjinz]

HI BESTIE IMY HEBSBRBS AHH I’ve been so busy ... also recently got super sick and I’ve not been well at all ,, it’s just the flu / a stomach bug tho ! :,) hru ???

Your latest reaction was so good ,, thoughts r being thunk ?? Thinking about skz reaction to you rubbing / jerking their dicks just whenever you’re bored .. and you don’t even really notice that they’re getting off ahah IDK IT JUST SEEMS TO HOT ??

Once they cum or wtv you’re like ;) hsshbrbs

I have a dick but honestly it’s never bothered me reading ur shit directed towards a female reader ? For some reason I really like it bye 😭🤚

-🚬

BABYBOOOY WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SICK?!?! :((( Hope you’re feeling better now, i should give u some of my healing medicin aka my kisses :(( <33 

Also that last bit AAh thank u T-T i try to be more inclusive but like AAAGH im always so scared that i’ll mess something up from my lack of ~ knowledge ~ BUT I REALLY TRY MY BEST >< so thank uuu for having patience for my dumb ass

ANYWAYS SPEED REACTION LEGO 

warnings: skz x gn!reader. handjobs, blowjobs, cum, orgasm (m), cum eating, slight overstimulation

Bangchan

“w-what the fuck” 

yeah thats his only reaction when you suddenly stick your hand down his pants, wrapping your hand around his dick and slowly stroking it while big spooning him

you werent trying to get him off... more like... you wanted something to play with while watching the movie

boy would be ~ flustered ~ 

he’d find it interesting

why would you jerk him off if you didn’t want him to cum yk?

like that type of thoughs

but of course you can’t expect him to not react LMAO

you were fully immersed in the movie because it started to get interesting now and you didn’t notice how you started jerking him off faster. 

until...

you felt something warm and wet hit your hand paired with his dick twitching

you looked at him and saw that poor boy was biting his bottom lip so hard trying to not disturb you with his moans

“did you cum?” you say, lifiting up his pants to which he yelped and put his hands over yours right at his crotch. “n-no”

Minho

be bold with this man 

pull his pants down when he’s just chilling ASHASHA oh god

he doesn’t think it fair 

eventhough he does the exact same to you

when he does it to you it more like he simply wants to feel you all over, not intending for you to get turned on

but make one moan and this mf thinks it a game

“how many times can i get y/n to moan”

NO OK BUT RETURNING TO YOU -> HIM

it would take sum time to get him to cum

he doesnt strike me as the sensitive type and so you could jerk him for quite a while which hey more fun for you

but ooone faithful day he was more turned on than usual leading to him cumming quicker than he usually does during one of those times where you played with his dick

stroking it, running your thumb across the tip, licking it .. you name it...

you smirk when he accidentally cums on your lips and you lick it off and he just starts complaining (yk when jisung bit his fingernail in that two kids room episode, yeah that tone)

“y-you can’t just do that!!” you start chuckling “what? mad that you came like a bitch?” 

nex thing you know you’re pinned against a wall OOP sorry

Changbin

he lives for this BUT only if you give him attention

which you dont because you’re simply bored and dont want to get him off, more like... liking the feeling of having him in your hand lmao

“can you at least look at me?” you shake your head, holding his semi-erect dick in your hand “shh,,, im watching something!” 

that would be the everyday conversation ahsahsha

I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD GO FOR A WHILE??!

he’d be relativly quiet as well so you wouldnt notice until he actually cums and you’re like “...wtf why is my hand sticky”

BRUH U START APOLOGIZING HASHAS HE JUST GLARES AT YOU FOR NOT GIVING YOU ANY ATTENTION

but he came anyways so..

you try to escape the situation but he’s not having it

“nah you’re not escaping now, finish what you started baby”

Hyunjin

another boy thats lives for this 

why? because a) its a handjob b) he likes the thrill of not knowing when you’re bored c) because you forget what you’re doing and he likes seeing you surprised when he cums ASHAHS god bury me 

would purposefully make you bored 

“the wifi is down y/n,, guess we having nothing to do...w-wanna give me a handjob”

you shrug, “alright” 

you’re completely lost in though, wondering when the wifi will return or what you guys should eat for dinner

suddenly he cums,,, a lot,,,

you laugh at him and he’s kind of blushing with his hair covering parts of his face. 

“i-i’m pretty sure the wifi will be down for a while” ;))

Jisung

FUCK YES LETS GO

he would already just be naked infront of you at random times

like,,, whats the point in putting on clothes after the shower if he knows that you are going to sneak up on him and jerk him off yk?

but what this boy didn’t know was how you didn’t notice most of the time

your hand just having a mind of it’s own...

but you’d notice pretty quick 

since this boy LOUD YALL 

whiny mf 

“shush!” you say, scrolling on your phone with one hand and jerking him off with the other.

you didnt intend on making him cum,,, just giving him a massage ASKKASJSKSA

he’d act all like “ppfft... you can’t make me cum from just that-”

and then shuts up because “h-hey... this feels too g-good”

not thinking he’d cum this quick you started talking to him but were quickly cut off from him letting out a long moan

“f-fuck,, y/n..h-haa,,,”

after he cums you’re like “heading to bed”

but he pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and looking at you with big doe eyes

“c-could we keep going?” 

Felix

boy would be walking around, holding his crotch because he never knows when you attack

because he belong to the more... sensitive bunch of boys... HE DOESNT LIKE IT TOO MUCH

mostly because he’d cum too fast and it would leave him embarrassed (awh poor boy:(( ) 

thats legit the only reason LMAO

noo poor boy wants to appear all tough for you even though you’ve told him over 100 times that he doesn’t have to be, you love him for who he is yk? <33

BUT NOPE stubborn baby sets bets with you

“ok this time i won’t cum that quickly... last time was a practice round”

ASHAHSH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY JESUS

4 minutes later... YEAH YOU GUESSED IT

and you didnt even notice?!?!

you just thought that those sounds were him in like pain ASHShHAS

because you were to preoccupied thinking watching tv

needless to say,,, he was pouty,, for a while

until you attacked again LMAO

Seungmin

ok gimmie a second,,,, i need to think 

alright... he likes it BUT he’s shy

you need to give the puppy some time to warm up 

do it too fast and he gets scared AHSHASH

so ok lets say that the both of you are doing,, nothing

and you just slowly feel him up and it eventually leads to you jerking him off

you’re not even aware of how good he’s feeling with your hand around his cock

“y-y/n can you stop?” 

“stop what- oh”

looking down you notice that he already came, his cum coating the tip and your hand with white thick ropes

NOT THAT HE CAME FAST JUST THAT HE SUFFERED WITH THE SLIGHT OVERSTIMULATION ON HIS OWN

goddamn... seungmin is always so difficult to write for ONLY ME?!?!?

seungmin stans are already knocking on my door SORRY IM TRYING

Jeongin

BLUSHY BOY

I REPEAT; BLUSHY BOY

“w-what are you doing y/n~?” he says while your hand travels down the side of his body while the two of you were chilling in bed. “im bored” you huff out, looking him in those big brown eyes. “we can play videogames!” he says trying to make you get your hand out of his pants but you shake your head. “i wanna play with you instead” 

boy would melt

painfully shy (and hard)

because you it all happened so fast??

the two of you were chilling, everything quiet and peaceful and before he knows it you’re jerking him off vigorously

he covers his face with his hands, occasionally sneaking a glance of your pretty face from inbetween his fingers as you give him a handjob

you’d be too focused watching his face as almost falling asleep not noticing the boy squirming around 

until you hear

“h-hghnn...”

thats his cumming sounds btw HAHSHAH IF I WASNT CLEAR ENOUGH

jesus i cant write reactions for shit BUT THEY SEEM TO BE REALLY APPRECIATED SO YEAH!

I have 2 more of these coming up oh and also remember that this is legit word vomit SO ITS NOT PROOF READ AND UHM... i’ll try to do the two other ones this week heheh ^^

[damn-stark]

No Matter What

Kai Parker x Mikaelson!reader

Requested by anon “kai parker x kol twin sister please? about how the reader and him were really close friends in the late 80s when kai was a teen and when he comes back from the prison wolrd yearssss later the reader tells Kol all about him (pretend kol got revived before) xxxxx love ur writing btw”

A/N- second part?

Warnings-mention of alcohol, fluff

———-

Even years later, after you’ve healed from the pain of suddenly losing Kai Parker, it still hurt to think about him, to even talk about him.

But it hurt less to talk about him with the one person that you truly trusted and loved. Even if your twin brother could be arse at points.

“Who is this scrawny looking man?” Kol questions as he points to Kai in the picture smiling beside you.

You look over Kol’s shoulder and sigh at the sight of the polaroid, it takes a moment for you to build your courage to talk about him. But you do so, it felt right.

“That’s an old boyfriend. Kai Parker.”

Kol scoffs and an amused smile tugs on his lips. “Him?” He choked as he tried to surpass his laugh. “You’ve got to be joking,” his gaze narrows on the picture and his attempt to not laugh becomes much harder. “What was he? A vampire?”

Snatching the picture from his grip you shoot Kol a glare before looking at the picture yourself. Feeling a wave of different emotions crash into you; a mixture of sadness and yet of slight happiness and nostalgia.

“No,” you scoff, “he was just a human. Be nice.”

Kol shrugs while he begins to serve himself some alcohol. “It’s hard to believe that’s all.”

You feel your eyebrows knit together and your gaze narrow as you lift your eyes to look at him. “Why?”

“You said one time in the 20s that you’d never date a human,” he explains as he takes a sip of his concoction. “I remember, I always do. Not only because you’re my twin sister.”

A sigh once again leaves your lips and your eyes flicker down to the picture. “It was different with him. He was different, I don’t know.”

“Don’t tell me,” Kol exclaimed with his eyebrows raised, “you’ve turned into our sister.”

You feign a chuckle and shake your head, “no, he’s the only human I dated and the only I ever did, he disappeared out of nowhere without a word.”

Kol’s amusement fell while he took another sip of his drink, taking a long moment to manage a response that wasn’t in any way to tease your choice in dating choices. “Perhaps it’s time to break some necks.”

A half smile tugs on your lips and you shake your head. “No, no, he was a nice guy. He had some inner turmoil, but that isn’t anything strange to us,” You grin at coming memory, “you should’ve met him, you would’ve liked him.”

“Do you want to talk about him?” Kol suggests, “and don’t take this moment for granted, you know I only get into these...deep talks with you.”

You scoff and nod, glancing at the picture in your hand one last time. “Sure, I’ll talk about him.”

~

“It looks great. You do.” Kai compliments you as he holds the picture towards the light to see better. “I could’ve smiled better though, what do you think?” He hands you the picture and you grin, looking between Kai and the picture.

“Well I think you look great, I love it,” you slightly tilt your head and narrow your gaze on the picture, knowing the meaning of such a small object. “Although I'm not sure about keeping it. There's people after me and I’ve kept hidden for so long because there's nothing of me left behind for people to find.”

Kai snatches the picture from you and puts it in his pocket. “I can keep it, even if it doesn’t prove I’m dating an ancient vampire.” His lips form into a smile and he grabs your hand to interlace his fingers through yours whilst you continue walking to your intended destination.

“I never asked how things have been with your family, everything okay? You looked upset the other day.”

Kai let’s your hand go and he looks to the ground beneath his feet, clenching his jaw and his fist. “Yeah, everything is going to be fine. After tomorrow things will be better you’ll see, and I’ll finally explain everything.”

A weird tone creeps through this voice and through his new excitement you hear his heartbeat race inside his chest. He doesn’t say anything else, but his manner in talking and the sound of his heart speaks more than words, it’s odd, but you don’t question it yet. No until he adds something that definitely caught your attention.

“We’ll be equal in power.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you stop to look at his back, parting your lips to question what he meant. “What do you mean by that?”

Kai turns and a wide, mischievous and maniacal smile that looks all too familiar to the many you’ve seen on your brother Klaus spreads on his lips. “You’ll know tomorrow, I promise.”

His heartbeat races faster and that maniacal look in his eyes doesn’t disappear. It makes you falter and want to question it more than ever, but your curiosity is turned down when Kai grabs your hand and pulls you towards the diner. “You love me right?”

You blink, but don’t hesitate to answer. “I do. You know that.”

He stops in front of the diners window and puts a hand on your shoulder, whilst his other hand cups your cheek. “No matter what?”

You study his face at the feeling of your curiosity burning inside you again. You want to question what he meant but you knew he wouldn’t say a word, so instead you answer his question. “No matter what, I love you.”

Kai grins and he presses a gentle kiss on your forehead before muttering “I love you,” and then continuing to repeat his odd saying. “Tomorrow will be different.”

~

“He seems odd, like Mikaelson odd,” Kol points out after pouring himself more alcohol, “you definitely know how to pick them.”

“He wasn’t odd, Kol,” you defend, “he just suffered a lot because of his family. We can relate to that.”

Kol hums and nods, raising his cup to do a toast with the air.

When you want to add more, the sound of Klaus shouting from the first floor interrupts you. “Y/N! Come down here now! Someone is...looking for you!”

You roll your eyes at the sound of Klaus’s voice and take your time making it downstairs with your twin brother in tow.

“You forget I have vampire hearing, brother, no need to shout!” You complain while you raise your voice.

“Well you tend to ignore me, so I needed to get my point across.”

When you finally round the corner and make it the main room you’re looking down to continue complaining. “Well I tend to ignore those who annoy me.”

“Then you should ignore Kol.” Klaus remarks.

You scoff. “Ha, just you.”

“Y/N?”

You blink to look at the owner of the voice and in that instant you freeze, feeling your eyes widen as you gasp. “Kai?”

.

.

.

.

A/N- I know, I know the last part is a cliche, but I loved the idea of it, okay? Hope you all like it too :)

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[undyingsunshine]

Also because I am a glutton for punishment: hiding face in neck (3) + running fingers through hair (2)

(No pressure to write any or all of these btw !!)

(Fuckkkkk now I am also Thinking about Them)

Sierra you gave me sO MANY PROMPTS I LOVE YOU <3 and YES YES THINK WITH ME!!! THINK WITH ME ABOUT THEM!!! My new tumblr goal: get as many people as possible to like this ship ((JOKES JOKES JOKES))

I'm answering this one first because the prompts instantly gave me a more solid idea for something I vaguely had in my drafts. And guess what :) It's :) Angsty :) As fuck :) And i'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY ALL I CAN DO IS WRITE ANGST IDK WHY??? Like. Hurt No Comfort is one of my least favourite things to read ever and yet??? here I am??? writing it???? ((Kind of a lie, there is a smidgen of comfort here but still. That one fic I wrote. yknow the one. Is the definiton of hurt no comfort))

ANYWAY. I PROMISE I'LL MAKE THE OTHER ONES MUCH NICER BC U DESERVE IT FOR THE HELL I PUT YOU THROUGH 💙💙💙💙 But for now. Have ur daily dose of Suffering, fresh out of the raging inferno that is my soul :) Drabble under the cut! (Which I finally figured out how to do???? HECK YEA!)

((Extra kind of unrelated note, while finishing this off I was listening to Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil on repeat. Give it a listen if you feel like suffering more :) ))

Warnings: vague allusions to tomb of the sea, talk of snakes, general angstyness

Yang Hao knows a lot about Li Cu.

Yang Hao knows that Li Cu prefers sleeping on his back or on his right - knows that the left side of Li Cu's neck is a source of sensory nightmare. He knows that some days are better than others, but on the other days, even the collars of his shirts border on the realms of unbearably comfortable. He knows some days - inversely - consist of him stubbornly wearing anything that covers at least most of his throat, unable to stomach the feeling of it being out in the open. Exposed.

Li Cu has never truly spoke about what happened, but the faded puncture scars are plenty enough to get Yang Hao's mind reeling with awful visions, some of which infiltrate his dreams, rampaging through and leaving nothing but tear stains that no one else is present - or awake - to witness, and brutal aftershocks that introduce newer chasms in his heart; pits of despair reserved only for the boy that sleeps, blissfully (...?) unaware, beside him.

Yang Hao knows that Li Cu has a phobia of snakes.

He knows this from the times his smile instantly dropped at the sight of one. Times times where Li Cu had laced their fingers together in order to (not so) subtly move Yang Hao's hand off his rapidly beating heart, a thunderous rhythm triggered by any hint of a hissing noise.

Yang Hao knows Li Cu is suffering.

But what Yang Hao doesn't know is how to help. Or even approach the matter. Su Wan is easy to rile up, easy to intimidate and easy to convince. It doesn't take long before he cracks and starts talking about his problems. Li Cu? Not so much. He's stubborn and, worst of all, closed off about anything concerning the nightmare sequence that was... well... everything that fucker Wu Xie put him through. The second it's hinted at, there's no real telling what he'll do, at least not exactly. Sometimes he'll snap, insisting there's 'nothing to talk about' (a blatant lie even Su Wan wouldn't believe); sometimes he'll become distant and avoidant until the topic is changed; sometimes he'll straight up leave, using any and all excuses to escape the situation. There's no way of getting to open up (...yet)

So Yang Hao does what he can.

He lets Li Cu turn away. He lets Li Cu bury (or moreso hide) his head in his neck, doing his best to not focus on the shallow, hitched breaths, or the way Li Cu swallows down his nausea, or the way Li Cu's hand tightens ever so slightly more around his. Instead, he concentrates on threading his own slightly shaky (from anger, helplessness or worry, he's never really been able to tell) free hand through Li Cu's hair as soothingly as he can. He lets Li Cu take as long as he needs to focus entirely on any other sensation Yang Hao so willingly gives to him, until the brewing storm passes over and their chests finally banish the cursed, bated breath that had built up behind their ribs. Synchronised. Practiced. A routine that shouldn't have to exist, but persist it still does.

The pain is soul deep: etched into their bones, woven into their muscles and tatooed in their nerves. No fibre of their beings is left unmarked. But, at the very least, they can bare through it together. A small victory, some may say, but not to them. Because it shows they survived. That they overcame all the bullshit thrown at them and came out alive, even if it wasn't in one piece, it's enough.

To hold each other's hand. To hear each other breathe. To exist in each other's presence.

It's small. But it's enough.

[yashashveeroy]

can i get an interpretation for my main three tho 👉👈 (scorpio sun cancer moon pisces rising) i love ur blog soo much btw

Hello lovely @ayabrat !!! Here’s my interpretation of your Big 3!!🤍

Please read the newly added Rules regarding “Asks” here before reading this interpretation.

Scorpio Sun:

Okay WOW. I love how you have a fixed sun, cardinal moon and a mutable rising! Best of all three worlds!! I see a lot of intensity, but in cuteness?!? Like OMG YOU ARE SO CUTE🥺🥰!!!. And I sense that you are definitely surrounded by fire signs in your life! Confirm it for me? I just feel like, if you do, they definitely influence this beautiful energy that you radiate. To you, your individuality and originality is very important. You may not mingle with everyone but when you do, it’s fun! Cunning under all of that cuteness 😏. Not everyone mentions this enough but Scorpio suns live life the way they see fit. Your passions are kept under wraps unless you see someone fit enough to open up to about them. You’re practically married to whatever you love doing and you’re so okay with that. You’re grounded and there’s no way somebody’s going to tell you otherwise. In this sense, your fixed energy jumps out for sure!😌 Do you blush and make others blush a lot?😏 confirm it for me please!

Cancer Moon:

Oh how I wish I had this placement as a selenophile myself!🥰 You may not realise it but Cancer moons fluctuate in their moods so much because they’re in tune with the phases of moon. Observe your emotions during the full, half and new moon! You’ll find out a lot about yourself. Now I know that it’s hard to see a loved one suffer when they do but you have to remember that not everyone who’s in pain needs nurturing okay? Tell me, have you been nurturing and showing yourself the same amount of love? Have you? I sense a few emotional wounds here and there and I recommend that you soon do something about it. Let the dark moon come out for once and play, she won’t bite. She isn’t evil, she simply needs love and affection like anyone who’s hurt. Something tells me you need to do shadow work soon. Your transformative Pluto (Scorpio sun) and Cancer Moon want you to look deeper into yourself. These two placements are really pushing for it. There’s a side to you that suffers everything quietly no matter how bad it hurts and it’s not okay. This type of behaviour is often seen in Scorpio sun and cancer moon combination. You love your friends so deeply, I see it clearly. Do you keep a journal? Confirm it for me? If you don’t, start soon. I know trusting maybe more than one person seems so scary. So a few pages and a pen can be your best friend.

Pisces Rising:

You see, being a mutable rising sign isn’t so easy. I believe that mutable signs are much more Stubborn and fixed in nature than the actual fixed signs of the zodiac. Why? Simply because you guys hate the change. You guys end up feeling like something has been taken away from you all the time. It’s unfair. I mean come on, the word ‘mutable’ is literally related to ‘mutation/mutate’. No wonder all the anger, rage and sensitivity. You don’t get to peacefully feel your own emotions because you automatically soak up someone else’s because of the empathy you’ve been gifted. But it’s nothing you can’t control with a lil time to yourself in isolation. In this case, your Pluto (Scorpio) sun will help your Neptune (Pisces) rising heavily. Being isolated and learning things about your spiritual beliefs in what this combination will bring to you. Also, trust yourself. Your intuition is actually stronger than you believe it to be. I see a huge interest in the occult. And my oh my, not only are you cute but you might just be a person of many people’s dreams you know. Neptune surely did it’s magic there. I don’t know what it is, but the image of a beautiful warrior keeps coming to my mind. You are so brave, emotionally. No matter how people might perceive you, you know who and what you are.😤💖.

I hope that this interpretation resonated with you and that you enjoyed reading it 🥺💜! Leave me your feedback through the comments!!

Love, Roy.