#this is basically a love letter to sam wilson

[what-am-i-even-doing-tho]

October Drabble Challenge

Day 28- Replacement

"He was just himself, and that was more than the world would ever deserve."

[themculibrary]

Bisexual Characters Masterlist 3

part one, part two

#bipride (ao3) - EnInkahootz T, 400

Summary: On the ship after Ragnarok, Loki comes out to Thor as bisexual.

#bisexualsteverogers (ao3) - AllonsyHelen steve/bucky, clint/natasha, pepper/tony G, 10k

Summary: “Hi, I’m Steve Rogers – Captain America – and I have two very important things to say. First. I am bisexual. Second. I’m with you till the end of the line. Thank you.” In which Steve Rogers comes out and the result is not what he expected.

A Long Winter (ao3) - dropdeaddream, WhatAreFears steve/bucky, peggy/steve M, 35k

Summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

bucky has opinions about sam being captain america (ao3) - Firebird_wilmon sam/bucky G, 1k

Summary: Bucky has opinions about Captain America and makes sure everyone knows them. He wants people to understand that Sam is the perfect person for the role and that shouldn’t doubt him for a second. He make sure everyone knows what a good man Sam is.

or

Bucky being a supportive boyfriend and in love with Sam Wilson.

cap comes out (ao3) - orphan_account N/R, 6k

Summary: Steve’s journey as coming out as bisexual.

drunken confessions (ao3) - alienspronkles sam/bucky N/R, 1k

Summary: After Sam drinks, a lot, he ends up telling Bucky how he really feels.

family means no one gets left behind or forgotten (ao3) - cosmicocean steve/bucky T, 11k

Summary: “Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.

“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”

Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.

Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.

first time (ao3) - Siancore sam/bucky G, 1k

Summary: The first time that Bucky Barnes admitted to himself that he liked guys the same way he liked gals was exciting, but a little nerve-wracking. What would people think? Nothing nice. What would they say? Probably mean things.

From Ice and Ashes (ao3) - phansomedevil steve/bucky M, 64k

Summary: Steve Rogers learns what it means to be a queer hero in a complicated modern age. He tries to move on from the pull of the past, and his lost loves, but fate rarely lets him catch a break.

hold me, thrill me, kiss me (ao3) - LittleSixx sam/bucky M, 1k

Summary: After a long day as Falcon/Captain America, the only thing he wants is to go home and be Sam.

how it should have gone (ao3) - hawksonfire clint/steve/natasha E, 40k

Summary: When Steve Rogers wakes up from a nap he wasn’t supposed to wake up from, he’s not expecting much.

What do you get when you add a deaf archer, a redhead assassin, five university students at varying places on the gender spectrum, aliens, the son of your dead friend, and the fact that almost everyone else you knew is dead?

A very confused Steve Rogers. Add in a splash of romantic feelings, a ton of therapy, and Nick Fury’s shitty manipulation, and well…

Steve wants to go back to sleep.

invisible string (ao3) - geekyziam sam/bucky G, 1k

Summary: Sam and Bucky believe in fate and are soft boyfriends

Is It Pretending If I Already Want You? (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain steve/bucky E, 85k

Summary: Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event"

Basic Steps to Getting Yourself In a Pickle With Both Your Family and The Guy You've Secretly Crushed On For Five Years (A Guide):

STEP 1: After being perpetually single and constantly making up excuses to your family, give in and lie about having a boyfriend. STEP 2: Agree to bring said boyfriend to the family cottage for a week so he can be your date to your parents' wedding anniversary party. STEP 3: Panic. STEP 4: Say 'yes' when your best friend and closet crush - who you're convinced isn't interested in you that way in the least - offers to be your pretend boyfriend. STEP 5: Try your best not to fall in love with them during the trip. STEP 6: Fail miserably.

Milestones (ao3) - andloawhatsit steve/bucky, peggy/steve, clint/natasha, pepper/tony T, 54k

Summary: Brooklyn 1918 to Brooklyn 2015: In which Steve questions his humanity, has a mid-twenties crisis (though he doesn’t call it that), makes friends, falls in love again, and slowly learns that he doesn’t need to live in the past to honour his memories.

Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy (ao3) - triedunture steve/bucky E, 16k

Summary: Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

one step closer (ao3) - Flowerparrish steve/bucky T, 3k

Summary: Bucky doesn’t actually mean to discover it the way he does. He’s just going through Steve’s Wikipedia page one night when he can’t sleep, and he discovers a short paragraph about Steve coming out as bisexual and advocating for LGBT rights.

put ‘em up (ao3) - Spooteh (Pawfoot) steve/sam T, 3k

Summary: The only problem with the press outing Steve and Sam as a couple is that they aren’t really a couple.

so no one told you life was gonna be this way (ao3) - thundersnowstorm steve/bucky T, 9k

Summary: Natasha is assigned to Captain Rogers the day after she returns to work from her break.

Somehow this turns into her aggressively befriending a sad, lonely Steve and collecting a gaggle of friends along the way.

the guide to being a displaced 106 year old who is coming to terms with his sexuality (ao3) - ChaoticAce2005 sam/bucky T, 5k

Summary: “So, people like- it’s normal to like both?”

Because despite Bucky’s head being like scrambled eggs, he remembers love. He remembers attraction. To that one baseball player. To a cashier at a mart, he went to. To the king of Wakanda who, holy fuck had no right looking that good.

And he thought maybe Hydra had screwed him up. Maybe they screwed around with his memories. But even now there were men who would cause Bucky to pause.

Men like Sam.

But he thought Hydra had just broken that part of him. Because he liked girls too and there was no way- Maybe he was just making it up- It couldn’t be real-

“Yeah,” Sarah responded, “Bisexual for one, that’s when you like two or more genders. There are more broad terms like pansexual or polysexual as well, those mean liking all genders or liking many genders.”

Wait- what?

“Aren’t there only two genders?”

Sarah just shook her head, “Gender is more a binary now, think a straight line and at one end is male and the other is female, there is all that space in the middle that some people are in. Some people don’t even identify as a gender.”

What- okay, that was going to give him a headache.

unexpected houseguest (ao3) - faeryn sam/bucky M, 20k

Summary: When Sam comes across Bucky in the strangest of places, his first instincts are to run, and to call Steve. He does neither, and in doing so manages to form a strange bond with the Soviet assassin who once tried to kill him. Bucky is broken, a shell of his former self, and Sam wants nothing more than to help return him to himself. But can he maintain a respectable and responsible distance from the man, despite how Bucky draws him in, in order to help him? Or will he falter, and shatter all the progress he has made by giving in to his own desires?

[ao3feed-sambucky]

Replacement

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42700761

by what_am_i_even_doing_tho

Day 28- Replacement

"He was just himself, and that was more than the world would ever deserve."

Words: 100, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 16 of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Drabbles, Part 25 of October Drabble Challenge

Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson

Additional Tags: Character Study, i guess?, this is basically a love letter to Sam Wilson, sam wilson appreciation, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Drabble

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42700761

[authoressskr]

october is it’s own magic

[october 3rd]

Characters: f!plus size reader, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, James Rhodes, Pepper Potts, Pietro Maximoff, Clint Barton, mentions of Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, and Nick Fury

Warnings: Language, no Beta, basically this is me writing for myself   ::    Notes: this will be a series. i will be posting it (hopefully*) every day until Halloween. And thanks to @firefly-graphics for the use of the divider!  ::   Word Count: 521

Soulmate AU. Bucky has a secret admirer. They keep leaving him all sorts of autumnal goodies with little notes. But who the hell is it?!

Please do NOT repost, copy & paste, post, translate, or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION.

-+- REBLOGGING is fine and very appreciated! -+-

[october 2nd]

The next morning, you arrive at your office to see a giant basket of things wrapped in orange cellophane on your desk. Wrinkling your forehead a little, you walk around your desk to sit in your seat, which now has a fall-themed blanket draped across the seat and arms. God, you loved comfort items! You carefully move the blanket to the back of your chair and seat, settling down to look at the basket that takes up most of your desktop. Tugging at the black satin ribbon, it releases the hold on the cellophane and you greedily reach inside for the letter at the forefront.

‘No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.’ - John Donne. But especially yours, my fall lover.

It’s written in lovely cursive with no name or anything else to give you a clue to the giver, frowning a little as you set the card to the side and stick your hand in to begin pulling things from the basket. There are a few scented candles, one a cinnamon pumpkin and the other one simply states “Mansion” with the iconic Haunted Mansion wallpaper print on the sticker which nearly makes you squeal with delight. There are a few face and foot masks and a couple of pair of your own spooky socks tucked along the edges, with a pair of novelty pumpkin earrings, and sat in the center is the loveliest leather-looking bound book with beautiful burnished gold scrollwork and an embossed man upon a horse with no head, a pumpkin in his uplifted hand. You nearly break into tears at the lovely little book. You adored ‘The Legend of Sleepy Hollow’. Your goodie basket has some of your favorite fun-sized chocolates mixed amongst the black, orange, and purple crinkle paper and one of those color-changing Starbucks reusable cups with ghosts, bats, pumpkins, and cauldrons all over it.

Whoever your gift-giver was, they knew most of your likes when it came to Fall and Halloween...which made it sort of painful when you realized it couldn’t be who you wanted it to be. Your phone alarm goes off, startling from your thoughts and making you jump a bit in your chair - signaling that it was time to head upstairs so you don’t miss Bucky’s new gift from his secret admirer. Apparently, there is a lot of that going around…

Bucky is pulling his still-damp hair back when he sees you come around the slight corner, a little unsure of yourself, but he watches your expression change slightly as you make eye contact with him before your eyes sweep over his gym clothed body, cheeks pinkening just enough to give Bucky more hope as your gaze drops quickly towards the floor. At least he knows that you’re attracted to him like he is to you.

“Saved you a seat!” Tony calls out to you, watching as you hurriedly go over to him and slip into the barstool beside him, which puts you more out of reach than yesterday, and he doesn’t like that. But he also knows that while everyone may be helping him to an extent, that they also aren’t going to serve you up on a silver platter. They all will make him work for it - which is fine. He wants to be worthy of you.

“Open. Op-en. Op-en!” Everyone chants softly, looking from the little black gift bag on the counter to Bucky. Bucky rolls his eyes at their childishness but can’t help as his lips twitch upward as he reaches for the bag.

Sitting nestled in the black tissues is the cream little cardstock that he’s come to associate with his anonymous “soulmate”. 

Bucky - eat, drink, and give ‘em pumpkin to talk about. Love, me.

Bucky rereads it, this time aloud for the others, setting his note to the side as his hand rustles through the black tissue to withdraw a pumpkin-shaped cookie sealed in plastic that nearly takes up most of his hand. He reaches back numerous times, revealing a dozen cookies in all, 6 with a different jack-o'-lantern expression. He realizes as he looks at them spread out on the counter before him that they’re 6 and 6 of identical cookies, half just done in traditional orange pumpkin color and the other half done in an off-white color.

“Oooh!” Wanda exclaims, flipping the nearest cookie carefully over to reveal the bakery’s sticker on the back. “I loooove this bakery! Their cookies are delicious! Vis got me some on Valentine’s Day - I loved the slight lemon tang to them.” Natasha and you nod along with Wanda’s words, Bucky watching as your fingers brush the marble just under the cookies, expression somewhere else as you smile fondly down at the cookies.

“Coulson got me cookies from there every year on my birthday.”

“And two of those giant champagne cake cupcakes too, right kid?” Clint asks as your smile widens.

“Yeah. Those are still my favorite. They taste just like the ones from my hometown bakery in California. He was thoughtful like that.”

Natasha shoves you playfully, making you laugh. “And what am I? Chopped liver? Who still gets you those cupcakes??? Huh?” You lean over to kiss Natasha’s cheek as her expression changes from teasing to smug.

“You do, Nat.”

Clint chuckles softly, watching the two of them just like everyone else. “She’s only being so nice because her birthday is tomorrow.”

“Your birthday is tomorrow?!” Tony and Steve ask incredulously, as you reach out to pat Tony’s arm.

“Don’t worry, Pepper always gets me something lovely from the two of you,” To which Tony smiles and shakes his head just a smidge.

“I do give wonderful gifts, even if I’ve never seen them.”

“Excellent taste,” Sam adds with a serious nod, which everyone shares.

“Are you all buying yourself extravagant shit for your birthdays from me?”

“Are we not supposed to?” Bucky teases, leaning his hip against the counter and giving Tony - okay, you - his full attention.

“I can’t wait to see what you get tomorrow!” You shift the conversation back to Bucky, while Steve grins at you from the other side of the kitchen.

“I saw you had something on your desk this morning when I was leaving the latest reports on your desk,” he takes a sip from his coffee cup with a sly smile. Your mouth drops open a little at his words, color rising in your cheeks at his suggestive tone.

“Yeah…” Bucky straightens up at your affirmation, forehead furrowed. He had only begun gathering things to give to her...so who was giving her things?

“Go on,” Vision encourages, Wanda patting his hand affectionately.

“It was a very large gift basket. Sooo lovely. There was a throw blanket on my chair when I came in too. It had candles, face masks, foot masks, a pair of pumpkin earrings, my own two cute pairs of spooky socks, some fun-sized chocolates, a reusable Starbucks cup with cute vinyl cutouts all over it, and the best one is a leather-looking bound version of ‘The Legend of Sleepy Hollow’. I didn’t get long to look at it, but it was beautiful. Embossed, scrollwork...it’s a perfect little book - almost like those old Regency novels.” Your entire face is so happy and serene, it makes Bucky smile and relax just watching you. You turn towards him, that sweet smile still gracing your face. “Do you have any ideas about who your secret admirer could be?”

That changes Bucky’s face to a scowl. “No. There were too many of our fingerprints on anything to get something from there...FRIDAY doesn’t record this floor unless there is an event, so nothing there either. The actual cardstock is common and when I searched all the Stark printer systems, there was no evidence of any of the images being printed from the printers in the Tower or any printer connected to our wifi. I think I’ll have to do a stakeout or something to catch them unless I get another lead.”

“Why don’t you go to the bakery and ask for the camera footage from the last week? They only sell those pumpkin ones starting in the last couple weeks of September, so you should be able to find it that way.” Bucky must look startled causing you and Natasha to smile wider.

“Why the hell didn’t I think of that?!” Bucky leans forward, kissing your cheek before he rushes for the elevator. “Thanks, doll!” He completely misses the bright red your face turns, your fingers brushing against where he kissed in shock.

[october 4th]

 tagging:  @chelsea072498 @clockworkmorningglory @sakurablossom4 @galaxiesinmymind @mizzezm​

[sleepynegress]

On Sam Wilson...

Since someone just requested more meta on the characters... I’ve decided to contrbute a bit. Starting w/ who I see getting fundamentally misunderstood as a hero *a. lot.* There is a great monologue in Kill Bill 2 about the nature of Superman here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_cEoK1mXms

The very accurate summation of the character is that while so many heroes in comics are regular guys playing hero.... Superman is a hero disguised as a regular guy.   SAM ...Takes the opposite of this to the EXTREME. Sam truly is just a good man. And I don’t mean that in a demeaning way. I mean in order to understand Sam you have to understand that he is a regular decent black family man from the Bayou. From his qt taunts upon meeting Steve Rogers (’don’t say it!’ ‘take another lap... did you just do it?’) to his geniune empathy with the common vets’ experience of needing to sleep on hard floors...

Sam’s AMAZING qualities come from him being a regular round the way black guy. And that is both revolutionary and subversive af.

I don’t think the mostly white fandom understand just how regular Sam is in his genuine empathy, love for his sister, teasing people he cares for w/ love, even the swag and I GOT THIS, implied in his work ethic and style when winged up as Falcon.

Because white people don’t get that the fact that these are regular normal elements in blackness and THAT is what makes him perfect for Cap is a HUGE statement and love letter to black culture.

Black people are like this on normal setting!!! Okay?

Like Sam isn’t even special.  Most of us have black uncles, fathers, cousins, best friends who are black men that will cheer us, cook us some good bbq while bragging about how good it is... Dance silly, talk shit about us in a loving way, just be a good human and ARE THESE THINGS while being profiled on the regular and understanding how little this country sees black men as basic good human beings. See: Trayvon, Ahmaud, Freddie.... That is the point that keeps flying over fandom’s heads and why yall keep missing the forest for the trees. Sam seems to not be outright monloguing about his pain 24-7, but just being a regular good person??? Well, yeah.

BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT. Sam is super because HE ISN’T.  He’s a decent man who is good and loving, regular round-the-way, a calm and calculating leader, while not taking himself or anyone else too seriously. And the fact that this “regular round the way”, familiar black male archeotype (because YES he could be many of our bffs, fathers, cousisn, uncles etc.) and HE is the most suited for the shield becaue his regular is better than John’s exceptional on paper... - Making a normal decent black man the best one to be Cap is honestly one of the most revolutionary fucking choices the MCU has made. It’s a tribute to all the regular decent good black men that society has underserved, exploited, and outright murdered. Because history has typically overpraised and rewarded the most mediocre among white men. It’s TIME a regular black man (who, let’s not get it twisted is 38273681768768468 times better than ANY white man’s mediocre and regular because of staying regular and decent even w/ the burden)...

*DOESN’T* have to earn what is gifted to mediocre white men on the regular.

[jbarneswilson]

No. 7 "Is it fair to say that you read the love letter and this means yes?"

Please and thank you ❤🌜

hello dear sweet infinitely patient @aniluwho90, thank you so much for sending this ask and thank you so much for understanding. i took some artistic license with this prompt and i really hope that it lives up to your expectations. 😊

as requested:

7. "Is it fair to say that you read the love letter and this means yes?"

Sarah clutches the carefully wrapped cardboard box close as she inches forward in line. She checks the label for the umpteenth time. It still reads: “ATTN: PVT SAMUEL T WILSON, PVT JAMES B BARNES c/o JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO-LACKLAND”. Just like it did the last time she checked. And the time before that.

This may well be the world’s most important care package. Certainly no other package has ever carried what lays nestled inside hers, between the extra deodorants and bottle of cocoa butter lotion for Sam so he doesn’t get ashy. A letter addressed solely to one Bucky Barnes. Her big brother’s best friend and the boy who’s taken up every last inch of her heart since the day she met him.

The temptation to rip open the package and pull the letter out rises with every minute she waits to be called. She eyes the triple layer of extra thick tape sealing it shut, cursing her past self for anticipating just this sort of cowardice.

She takes a deep, centering breath and reminds herself fortune favors the bold when the clerk calls out, “I’ll take whoever’s next at Window Two!”

“Hi there,” Sarah grins as she walks up.

The clerk doesn’t even bother to look away from his computer screen, just asks flatly, “Domestic or international?”

“Um, air force base? Is that a category? My brother and his best friend are at basic training for another month so I made them a care package.” She sets the box on the counter, one hand resting protectively on the top of it. “I hope they—”

“Which base?” the clerk sighs heavily.

*

Passing Sam’s room, she ducks her head in and smiles at the sight of him spread diagonally across the bed, snoring in the pre-dawn light.

Sarah’s glad to have him home but she can’t help wondering why he arrived alone yesterday. And where Bucky is… and if her letter scared him away.

She shakes off the thought as she grabs her lunchbox out of the fridge and heads down to the dock. Disastrous love life or not, there are crab pots and nets to bring in.

The drive to the dock is the perfect length for a pep talk and she bounces her way onto the boat, ready to take on the day. She loses a year off her life when she opens the door to the cabin and sees a tall, dark shape leaning against the helm.

“Oh my Lord!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he smiles ruefully as he picks up her lunchbox and sets it on the dash behind the helm. “I just wanted to talk to you alone and figured I’d find you here.”

“Is it fair to say you want to talk to me alone because you read my letter?”

“Letter? What letter? I don’t recall any… oh! You mean that love letter you snuck in with that care package?”

Trying to shrug casually while her heart climbs into her throat, Sarah says, “Yeah, s’pose I do.”

He leans back against the helm, jams his hands in his jeans pockets and looks down at the floor. “I can’t say I knew as soon as you did. Hell, I was only eight and girls were full of cooties. But then there was that summer ma packed me ‘n Becca off to Indiana… we came back and you were, God, you shot up two feet I swear. And you weren’t just Sam’s little sister any more. You were,” he chuckles and shakes his head at himself, “you were everything I thought about and I tried so hard to fight it. ‘Cuz what could I possibly offer you that you couldn’t get for yourself?”

“Everything,” she whispers.

“Then I read your letter and…” He looks up at her, eyes blazing, voice tight with emotion, “No one’s ever seen me the way you do.”

She isn’t sure who moves first, she just knows she’s suddenly exactly where she’s always wanted to be: Pulled tight against him as he kisses the daylights out of her.

When he finally lets her up for air, she murmurs languidly, “I take it this means ‘yes’.”

Kissing the tip of her nose, he smiles and says, “Absolutely.”

send me a fluffy dialogue prompt!

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

[lis-likes-fics]

Sweet Names

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader Warnings: None. :) Author’s Note: Hehe, enjoy :)

You carried your bag with you as you stared at the Avengers Compound. You were the newest recruit and you were nervous about your first day as an Avenger. You took in a breath and walked up to the door. You went to open it, but the doors slid open instead and allowed you in.

You let out the breath you were holding and went inside. There were agents walking around taking care of their own business as you looked around the place. You smiled a little and continued walking inside.

You bumped into someone and immediately apologized, "Oh, sorry!"

"Hey, don't worry about it," they said. You looked up and smiled, "Steve Rogers, it's so good to meet you! I'm Y/N."

"You're the new recruit," he pointed out. You nodded and chuckled lightly, "Guilty."

He smiled and shook your hand, "Come on, I'll take you upstairs where everyone else is. A lot of us are about to go on mission, so you'll have to meet them before we head out." While he shook your hand, you saw black lettering creeping out from under his sleeve. You didn't see much of the name, only a "MA". His soulmate, Margaret "Peggy" Carter. But everyone knew that.

You nodded, "Great."

You both took the elevator to the third floor, stepping out with a smile on your face. Your eyes lit up as you looked around the living area.

Steve called, "Hey, guys!"

Almost everyone looked up, a few continued what they were doing but listened. "This is our new recruit, Y/N."

Tony Stark was the next person to speak and you were almost freaking out about it. "Oh, hey. I read your file, sweet powers by the way."

You sighed, "Oh, thanks!"

He went to keep going but he was interrupted by another member, "Oh, the new girl. The name's Sam Wilson." Tony rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing. When he turned his head, you saw some of the name written down the side of his neck. "PEP", it was for Pepper.

He held his hand out and you shook it, "You're the Falcon. Awesome name."

He thanked you dramatically and Steve laughed, "Okay, there's Bruce Banner-"

"The Hulk."

"Clint Barton."

"Hawkeye."

"Natasha Romanoff."

You smirked a little, you loved Natasha. She was one of your favorites of the Avengers, "Black Widow. Love that name." You whispered the last part and she smiled in amusement.

"Tony Stark."

"Iron Man, duh."

"Thor."

"God of Thunder. It's a little dramatic, but okay."

"Loki."

"God of Mischief. That one, I like."

He looked over his book at you from his corner and the room, smirked a little bit, and went back to his book.

"Bucky Barnes."

"Hi," you waved. He smiled softly and waved.

"And-" Steve looked around, "Where's Wanda?"

"The Scarlet Witch." You smiled.

Natasha spoke up from her spot in the living room where she was reading the newspaper, "Library."

Steve nodded and looked at his watch, "Time to go. Stark, Romanoff, Wilson, Barton, you're with me." He turned to you, "If you need anything, ask the team or ask JARVIS. I told Wanda she'd be showing you around and giving you the basics. Buck, can you show her to the library?"

He nodded from his seat and Steve thanked him. The names he called made their ways past you, acknowledging you with a "subtle" welcome to the team and left with Steve.

In the short greetings, you were able to see the few of the team members who had the names of their soulmates on their skin.

When they were gone, Bucky walked up to you, "Hey, library's this way."

You smiled and walked with him, introducing yourself properly and striking up a small conversation. When you got to the library, he gave you a nod and left.

You walked inside, looking around and clenching your suitcase a little. "Hello?" You asked quietly.

"Over here," a voice came. You smiled and turned the corner to see the lovely Wanda Maximoff reading at a table.

You waved, "Hi, I'm the new recruit. Steve said you would be showing me around. I'm Y/N."

She put her book down and offered a smile, holding her hand out to shake yours. "Wanda. Sorry, I like to come in here because it's quiet."

"I know what you mean," you scratched your shoulder and smiled. There was a strange itch there but it was gone now.

Wanda spoke, "Do you want to go ahead and get started, then?"

You nodded, "I'd love to."

She took you around the tower, showing you the different rooms and telling you about the team. "Just about everyone is a pain, but you get used to it."

You chuckled, "Sounds like my kind of crowd."

She smiled, "Anyway, breakfast is at seven in the morning, dinner's at seven at night. When you get called on missions, you get a thirty minute notice before you head out. Training is every other day at 8 in the morning. Questions?"

You shook your head and she nodded, "Alright, then. Here's your room, I'm the door to the right, Natasha is across the hall and the bathroom is at the right of her."

You smiled, "Thanks."

"No problem, I'll leave you to get settled in. If you need me, I'm making lunch," she smiled and waved.

You smiled, "Okay, cool." You waved and retreated into your room, setting your suitcase by the door and looking around. The room was big and waiting for you to give it your creative touch. But before you did that, you went to the bathroom to set your toiletries up.

You put your things in the cabinet and took off your jacket. You went to leave the bathroom so you could set it on the chair in your room, but you caught a glimpse of your shoulder and gasped slightly.

You dropped the jacket, turning your shoulder to the mirror and looking at the new, black letters spelling out a name on your shoulder.

"WANDA"

You smiled and bit your lip. Of all places and people, you didn't expect to find your soulmate here, or for it to be Wanda.

That means she also had your name on her shoulder. You would give almost anything to see that. You put your jacket back on and rushed to get everything put away before heading to the kitchen where Wanda was fixing food.

You sat on the stool in the kitchen and smiled. "So," you said, "Anything new pop up?"

Very subtle, Y/N.

She shook her head and shrugged, "Not that I know of, no. But give it time. It's bound to happen."

You chuckled lightly and asked, "Do you want any help?"

"I shouldn't, but if you want…"

You smiled and nodded, "Okay." You stood and made your way to the other side of the kitchen where she was and started helping her with lunch.

"What's it like in the tower?" You asked.

She shrugged, "It's mostly boys so, you can think about that, I suppose."

You smiled, "Yeah, sounds like a handful."

"Steve is the mom of the group, Tony is the annoying but occasionally fun uncle. Sam's like a big brother and so is Bucky, but he's more reserved. Natasha doubles as a cool aunt and a big sister. Thor's kind of like a younger brother, but when we're on a mission he goes straight to the overprotective brother type. Loki is whatever he feels like being at the moment. I train with him a lot since we both have powers."

You nodded at the summary of the overall family of misfits. You smiled and went to grab something, accidentally knocking over a knife. The blade fell and headed toward your foot, but in an instinctive move, you used your powers to stop it. You overestimated the strength and sent it flying to the ceiling, hitting the water sprinklers. They went off and water sprayed everywhere.

Wanda used her powers to put a shield over the foot before it could get wet and you stood there, annoyed at your clumsiness. "I forgot to tell you," you mumbled, "I'm also a hazard to society."

She giggled, "I've met clumsy people before, don't worry."

You took off your jacket and held it over her head, "Here, no need for you to keep getting wet." She smiled and snapped her finger. A red glow covered the sprinklers and turned them off. She used her magic to dry everything off and laughed, "Don't worry about it."

You laughed with her, setting your jacket down on a chair. She saw your shoulder and stopped laughing, "Is that…?"

"Oh?" You exclaimed, "Um, I-"

She lifted her sleeve and saw your name on her skin as well. You almost smiled at it but caught yourself. She looked back at you, "You're my soulmate?"

You bit your lip and nodded, "I found out like ten minutes ago."

She slowly smiled, "I didn't think I had a soulmate."

"Why would you think that?"

She scoffed, "Isn't it obvious?" A red glow came from her hand and you frowned and sighed, "Just because you're different now doesn't mean you wouldn't have a soulmate."

She smiled a little, "Thanks." She looked back at your name on her arm and then her name on yours. You smiled, "I like the way it looks."

"I do, too," she said.

You smiled, "We should…finish lunch. Maybe we could go somewhere today? Go out maybe?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

Witch Lovers taglist: @mypoptartburnt​ @natasha-danvers​

[missjaystone]

Familiar Faces

Summary: Sam sets out to find his soulmate after his dream life wound up being just that, a dream. He just wants to find his happy ever after. Word Count: 3,930 Pairing(s): Sam Wilson x Reader Warnings: Death (mentioned), Smut, Rough(ish) sex

(This is the sequel to ‘Old Faces’, please read that one first)

Sam didn't tell anyone what happened in his dream if you could call it that; now that he was awake and knew none of that ever happened, it felt like a nightmare or a cruel joke. He dug through old boxes for close to two hours before he found what he was looking for; a box with a handful of pictures from the time he spent with you and Riley before they shipped out. You'd sent the pictures to them not long after they left, he kept them along with the letters you wrote them in a little lockbox. He always kept the key for it on his keychain. He scrambled to look at different letters and pictures for your address, he knew it was on there somewhere.

Half an hour and a dozen groans of frustration and he finally found it! '3197 N 10th St, Washington DC', it was written clear as day and he could recognize your handwriting from a mile away; it was always a little slanted to the side and it was usually smudged in at least three places because your hand always ran across it when you wrote or went back to dot your i's and cross your t's. "FRIDAY, can you look up the owner of 3197 North 10th st in Washington, DC? And their contact information?" He called out to the AI. There was a confirmation sound before it answered in 20 seconds "it's owned by Richard and Owen Johnson." He frowned some "can you look up anyone named y/f/n y/l/n in DC?" Another sound before the AI answered him "there are two thousand four hundred thirteen people with that name." He groaned "how many of them went to the FBI academy in Quantico?" "None," the AI said almost immediately. "Open the search nationwide-no, global, then crosscheck it with anyone who served or actively serves as a special agent with the FBI or any of America's agencies," he ordered, he was getting nervous. His mind started to wander; what if something awful happened to you? The AI's voice broke him out of his thoughts "there is one person in the United States that fits that criteria."

"Where? Where is she?" Sam asked excitedly. "Records indicate she lived in New Haven, Connecticut the past year but a rental application for an apartment in Greenwich Village can be found as well, both dated within the past two weeks." Sam's hopes were quickly rising as he wrote the new address down. "Where's the closest VA office to her apartment?" Sam finally asked after debating. He couldn't just show up on your doorstep out of the blue, but showing up at the VA in the hope you'd go there like any other veteran wouldn't be so weird would it? He'd look the place up online and find a meeting schedule later, now he just wanted to go back to sleep for a bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After visiting the VA for two weeks, and no sign of you, Sam was beginning to lose hope and get worried again. Steve encouraged him to go out for a drink with him and Bucky if only to distract him for a night. Bucky all but dragged him with them when Sam said he'd rather not. On the car ride to the bar, Sam figured a couple of drinks wouldn't hurt, what's the worst that could happen. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer, looking around the crowded bar curiously. He'd only been there for ten minutes when he decided to get out for some fresh air, slipping away from his friends while they were briefly distracted. He didn't know where it was taking him but he followed the part of his brain that told him to walk down the street. Maybe he followed his mind, hoping the pull would somehow lead to you. He wanted nothing more than to believe that soulmates had a special bond that pulled them together, maybe that's just what he needed to think to stay sane.

He needed to believe all the stories he heard growing up about soulmates being pulled together, about how nothing could keep them apart from one another. He may have denied it initially but he was well past that. No other woman he saw made him feel the way you did; he knew they never could. He started walking past a park but stopped, not giving it a second thought when his mind told him to go in. With it being almost 9 on a weeknight, he wasn't surprised the park was devoid of kids and adults. Then he saw the figure sitting on top of the monkey bars and he smiled to himself.

"Little late to be out isn't it?" He asked when he stopped a couple of feet behind the figure. "Says the man who's also out at this time," was the reply, accompanied by a quiet laugh. "I had a dream you were here, you know," Sam admitted sheepishly. If it wasn't so dark out and he wasn't behind you, you would've seen his blushing face "I mean, not here exactly, I had a dream you were in New York. I've been looking just about everywhere for you." "Work keeps me busy, I've technically lived here for two weeks but I've only spent about three days in town," you answered. "Understandable," he said with a quiet, nervous laugh. A silence filled the space around you both. Sam knew what he wanted to say, what he needed to say. He sighed quietly and bit his lip "I'm sorry I disappeared on you after we lost him. You needed someone to lean on and it should have been me. I shouldn't have let my own emotions consume me and leave you in the dust," he finally said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam, losing him was as huge for you as it was for me. I was never mad at you; your feelings were your own and you did what was best for yourself. I can't be mad at you for taking care of yourself," you told him, finally looking over at him. He started to argue but you knew what he'd say "I mean it, Sam. I don't ever want you to feel bad for taking care of yourself. You knew what you needed, I knew what I needed and that's that." "I thought you blamed me for his death though, I should've-" he started to argue. You shushed him "people always want to find someone to blame when things go wrong, even if that person is themselves, it's supposed to make it easier to accept I think, because if someone is to blame, then a bad thing didn't just happen, it had a reason behind it. There's nothing you could have done to save him, you were both doing your jobs. I know you think it's your fault but it isn't, Sam, and I never thought otherwise."

Sam smiled, he felt like a weight he didn't even know he carried had been lifted. He'd heard it before but it only ever took away part of the blame he felt. Hearing it from you made it feel true, you saying it made him believe it. He felt like he could breathe again. "You know, I didn't want you to be my soulmate," he said, eyes widening immediately in embarrassment. That's not how he wanted it to come out. "Ouch," you mumbled but held back a laugh. You'd seen him nervous before, it was usually a little entertaining. "I mean I did! Don't get me wrong, god I wanted it but I always worried I'd be too old for you, you know. I didn't want you to get stuck with someone old enough to be your young dad, I thought maybe you'd be able to find someone closer to your age, someone who wasn't friends with the guy who basically raised you," he rambled quickly.

You rolled your eyes and let out a laugh before leaning over the edge of the monkey bars until you were hanging upside down, face to face with him "why would I do that? I didn't have a bond with anyone else the way I did with you. Age be damned, I was an adult when we met, and I was and am more than capable of making my own choices." "Maybe I was just too scared of being rejected then. Do you know how much it's supposed to hurt when your soulmate rejects you?" He asked with a small hum, his hand gently coming up to cup your cheek.

"Oh please, who in their right mind could reject you?" You asked and flashed a small smirk. "God you're a pain," he said jokingly before stepping forward and planting his lips on yours in a gentle kiss. It had a passionate, longing feel to it, like it was something you'd both been waiting for ages for it. Your hanging upside down made it a little awkward but that didn't deter either of you. You tried to pull him closer, only to struggle; you lightly shoved his chest when he laughed. "So, I'm not getting rejected right?" Was the first thing he said when your lips separated. His tone was joking but even in the dark, you could see the nervous look on his face. "I'd never reject you, Sam; I love you," you told him, looking directly into his eyes so he knew you meant it.

He beamed a bright grin, rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone softly "I love you too, I wish it hadn't taken so long for this to happen, for us to finally end up together." "Me too, Sam," you were grinning from ear to ear as you looked at him. "Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow?" He asked happily. "I'd like that a lot, maybe you can tell me what you've been up to and why two men are staring at us," you stated with a grin. When he gave you a confused look, you nodded past him where two men were stood at the park's entrance, trying (and failing) to look nonchalant and acting like they weren't trying to eavesdrop. "Shoo!" Sam yelled when he looked back at them. He let out an exasperated sigh and an embarrassed chuckle "just a guy who ripped my steering wheel out of my car while I was in it and another guy who likes to show off by frequently running past me. Don't worry, they're just lonely old men, I promise they won't always be around to watch like that." You laughed and grinned "well I can't wait to hear those stories."

When the blood rushing to your head became too much, you finally got off the monkey bars and stretched. You didn't hesitate to kiss him, this time wrapping your arms around him. His own arms were around your waist in an instant, drawing you close until you were flush against his chest. This one was sweeter than before, it was calm and comforting. "How about we go grab a bite to eat right now? There's a pretty good burger place open until midnight a block and a half away," he offered. "Then what're we still doing standing here?" You asked sarcastically, a teasing smile on your face as you took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together. "That's my girl," he laughed to himself and begin walking with you. "By the way, was that Captain America watching us?" You asked after walking in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. "Yup, unfortunately," Sam chuckled. "So you're either a superhero or some kind of terrorist now?" You teased. "Yeah, but if I tell which one I'd have to kill you," he said with a playful nudge to your side. "Right," you said sarcastically, both of you immediately bursting into laughter. Life felt right. You felt happy for the first time since your godfather's death.

The walk was quick and since it was almost 9:30 at night, almost nobody else was there so you got your food quickly. "So, we're fighting this guy in an airport, and I swear I don't think he's ever been in a fight before because he is so damn talkative. I mean it, he won't shut up. Anyway, he shoots this white substance at us, which in and of itself is unsettling and we're stuck on the ground. He's still talking and it's like a villain's monologue except it wasn't terrifying, it was annoying. I call in Redwing and he just launches this guy out the window and then Bucky says 'you couldn't have done that sooner' and I so badly wanted to smack him or at the very least send him flying through a window," Sam explains, rolling his eyes dramatically while you laughed, having to put down your burger so you didn't take a bite and choke. "And Bucky's the one who ripped your steering wheel out, right?" You asked, just to be sure. "Yup and every day with that dumbass is a test," Sam laughed and grinned. "Well, it's a good thing you have experience with dumbasses, huh?" You asked jokingly. "You know I do, baby."

You and Sam actually wound up staying at the place until they closed at midnight. Once you left, you two just began walking around, savoring each other's company and getting close again. "You wanna go back to my place? It's not that far from here," you offered with a smile. "Really? I thought you lived in Greenwich, I saw the apartment application online," he admitted before coughing and clearing his throat; he really didn't want to mention how much information he looked up online. "I applied to it but found a place here in Manhattan I liked better," you'd question him later about that little tidbit of information he had.

True to your word, the walk to your home was only fifteen minutes tops. "Sorry about all the boxes everywhere, I'm still unpacking everything," you apologized with a sheepish smile as you closed the front door behind you. "I've seen worse, baby, don't worry about it," he said with a casual shrug and a smile. Another silence fell upon you as you looked at each other. Even being together, there was still a pull and you both felt it. He gently pulled you to him and kissed you. This time, the kiss was desperate and hungry, consuming both of you. He held you by your hips, keeping you as close as physically possible. Your arm wrapped around his neck while your free hand cupped his cheeks as the kiss became more heated. It was like you suddenly couldn't get enough of each other.

When Sam finally broke away from the kiss, a small groan leaving his lips as he looked down at you with lust-darkened eyes "where's your bedroom?" "Down the hall, last door on the left," you mumbled, already dragging him down the hallway as you spoke. You'd taken two steps into the room when he picked you up and semi-gracefully tossed you onto the bed. He quickly moved to cover your body with his, caging you beneath him as he attacked your neck with kisses and a few soft bites. There was an urgency in both of your movements as you each hurried to undress the other while trying to keep as little space as possible between your bodies.

Soon, clothes were strewn across the bedroom; your bra was thrown over the lamp on your bedside table, his boxes landed in front of your dresser with his pants not far away. His fingers delved deep into your core and moved slowly, the little moans and gasps of pleasure spurring him on. The way his fingers repeatedly grazed over those spots you had trouble reaching even with your best toys had you melting underneath him. He watched with a proud, adoring smirk as he brought you right up to the edge before stopping and pulling his fingers out. He chuckled when you groaned in frustration, looking up at him pleadingly "Sam!"

"Hm?" He asked, a small teasing smirk on his face as he slowly licked them clean. You narrowed your eyes for a second before returning a teasing smirk of your own "either fuck me yourself or I'll use one of my toys while you sit in a corner." Sam tried to hide the way his eyes widened briefly "you wouldn't dare." You nodded with a smug smile on your face "well, my friend got me a new thrusting vibrator as a joke gift and I haven't had time to use it yet." You looked at each other in a silent staring contest, daring the other to do something. "God damn it, I can't tell if you're bluffing," he mumbled before crashing his lips to yours in a fervorous kiss which you were more than happy to return.

Sam haphazardly wrapped your legs around his waist and after impatiently lining his member at your entrance, he slowly thrust into you. You both let out groans of pleasure, your head falling back onto the pillow while he buried his face in the crook of your neck. He started dragging his hips slowly, just savoring the feeling of being with you in a way so intimate he thought he'd only dream it. Once he got more comfortable, he set a slow pace, savoring the feeling of each slow drag of his hips. Your soft moans were music to his ears, and knowing that he was the cause made his heart swell. "I love you so much," your voice was soft and breathy, he could tell you were right there with him on cloud 9. You looked so peaceful as he slowly fucked into you and if he could take a picture, he'd do it in a heartbeat. Your eyes closed and lips slightly parted from the pure bliss you felt. If only your eyes were open, you'd have seen the switch that flipped in his mind when you softly moaned his name.

When he got comfortable, he slowly pulled his hips back until the tip was just barely in before slamming back into the hilt, smirking at the loud moan you let out. He moved his hips fast now, making sure to reach the innermost depths of your cunt with each stroke of his cock. "F-fuck, S-sam!" You almost screamed when he started roughly playing with your clit. He smirked down at you, eyes completely dark now as he asked: "yeah, you think a toy can do this? Can a piece of plastic fuck you this way?" He pinched your clit when you took too long to answer him, making your words hitch in your throat, his hips pistoning into you brutally. You quickly shook your head while your nails dug into his shoulders, a quiet 'no' leaving your lips as you shook your head. "Louder, I want everyone to hear it, I wanna hear you tell everyone who fucks you this good," his voice was becoming husky and his thrusts came harder, punctuating every few words.

"You, Sam! No-no toy can fun me like this!" You shouted, body beginning to shake as your orgasm quickly crept closer. "Yeah? Who's girl are you, huh? Don't you dare cum until I say so," He demanded, grabbing your jaw and making you look directly into his eyes. "Yours, Sam! I'm yours!" You choked out, a low whine following your words while a few tears of pure pleasure ran down your cheeks. "Who owns your cunt, baby? Scream his name so all of New York knows and then you can cum all over my dick," he demanded again, squeezing your jaw slightly. His own hips were stuttering as he did everything he could to hold back. "Sam!" You screamed his name like a prayer before being blinded by white-hot pleasure as you came undone beneath him. A strangled groan escaped his throat as he came, his face falling to your chest as his hips rolled slowly. He could hear your heart pounding in your chest before he reluctantly pulled his softening member out of you and collapsed next to you.

He watched your panting form for a few moments before he got up and went to the bathroom. When he returned with a damp rag, he moved the covers away and gently cleaned your combined arousal from between your legs, frowning some at the way your body jolted at his touch. "I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked nervously. You shook your head, sending him a lazy smile "no, no I'm fine, Sam." "Are you sure? Because I know I got a little rough. I have no idea where that came from, I just-when you moaned my name it set something off I guess," he rambled with a nervous frown still on his face. With a quiet groan, you made yourself sit up so you could look at him. You cupped his cheeks and smiled "that was the best sex I've ever had, I'm fine, just a little sore because it's been a while." "How long?" He asked curiously before he could stop himself. You laughed some "three years, like I said work keeps me busy." He smiled and laid down, carefully pulling you with him "that makes both of us, baby."

The way he slowly rubbed your back made you melt in his embrace, sighing happily. He planted a soft kiss to your temple and yawned "I love you so much, (y/n). There's no place I'd rather be in this moment, or ever again." "I love you too, Sam, so damn much," you whispered, eyes falling shut as you snuggled close to him. A comfortable silence filled the room but only for a minute before Sam spoke again "wait, are you on anything?" You shook your head "we'll deal with that in the morning, I don't have the energy right now."

He fell silent but you could feel his eyes on you. When you opened your eyes again to look at him, you couldn't quite read the expression on his face "what?" He bit his lip in thought, debating on whether to say what was on his mind "well, what if we didn't deal with it?" "What?" You asked him, your confusion evident. "I'm just saying, what if we didn't deal with it, y'know. What if we just let whatever happens happen?" He suggested sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. "Sam, are you suggesting that we-?" You asked, your brain unwilling to find and utter the words. "Look, (y/n), I spent all these years without you and now I feel like I have to make up for lost time. Don't worry, I'll respect if you aren't ready or don't want that. I just want you to know that's where I'm at," he said softly, absentmindedly playing with your fingers.

You'd never given much thought to family life but thinking about it with Sam, having children and raising a family together, it sounded appealing. It suddenly felt like something you couldn't live without. You pecked his lips softly before resting your head back on his chest, closing your eyes "let's just go to sleep and see what happens in the weeks to come." You could hear the fondness in his voice when he spoke "if it's a boy, can we name him Paul after my dad?" "Obviously, now turn the light off and go to sleep," you mumbled tiredly, earning a tired, quiet laugh.

[wenellyb]

Hi there! I have a stupid question haha isn't it weird that Anthony and Sebastian consider each other best friends but they've never even visited eachother houses? I think it's normal, if that's your best friend (or even just friend). Told ya it was a stupid question haha it's just that sometimes actors pretend to be closer than what they actually are just for marketing purposes so I would like to know your opinion (don't get me wrong, of course those two are friends, just maybe not that close)

Hi Anon!!!

Not a stupid question at all, I don't think either Sebastian or Anthony ever said they were each other's best friends. I think it's just a fandom headcanon (if I can word it like that lol), but I guess it's an assumption based on how close they are...

About the house thing... I honestly can't tell you anything because I don't know... I don't know how actors lives are.. in the sense that I don't know how much time a year they spend on set... So if they spend a few months in a row on set, then they're together basically all the time and it wouldn't matter if they went to each other's house or not.

Besides there are different types of friendships... not everything fits in a box. Especially when you live an hectic life like actors do!

Maybe Seb or Anthony like to compartmentalize their private lives vs their professional ones... There could be so many reasons.

I don't know what Stackie's relationship is... they could work friends, close friends or best friends...Or maybe they're just not that close, or just casual friends who laugh with each other.

I've had works friends with whom I was sooo soo close like really close.

I also have friends I see once a year but whenever we see each other again it's like we never left each other, we laugh and behave like we saw each other last week, but in between we don't talk much.

I have friends who I talk to every day or evey other day.... But I can't say one is more my friend than the other... it's just different.

About not visiting each other's house, I would say it doesn't shock me that much, now that I think about it, I haven't been to one of my favorite uncle's house in 5 years... literally 5 years and we see each other ALL THE TIME, once or twice a month depending on the period and in the summer every week...

But the thing is that we always meet at my grandmother's house or if there is a birthday we will celebrate it in a restaurant.... When I was a student I would go over to his and my aunt's place all the time because my school was really close from it... but now that I'm working, my job is a little bit further away so I never get the occasion to go over there... and as I said we have other places where we meet so I never really think about it.

Seb and Anthony live far from each other so it makes sense that they don't have a need to see each other houses if there hasn't been a special occasion or if they see each other in other events or places. Besides both Anthony and Seb more all less said that they talk to each other often, phone calls, texting,...

Also, why is no one considering this: Seb could be lying😂😂 He doesn't owe us anything so even if Anthony has been to his place he doesn't have to say it... Maybe he justs wants to win the "couch argument"!

The "pretending to be friends for marketing purposes" happens a lot as well... But that's actually the one thing I know Stackie is NOT doing because they're too chaotic for it to be called a strategy...

Their friendship started when they were paired together for the press tours... so they had nothing to promote together... because Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes didn't even have scenes together in CATWS...

There were even moments they had to be SEPARATED because of their chaoticness... so this would be a bad marketing startegy.

You could argue that now that they do have a show in common to promote, their interactions could be to promote the show... But there hasn't been any major change in the way they behave around each other, they have always been this extra about each other... Even when they didn't need to.

Don't worry about asking the question because I always love discussing Stackie!

I'll always end my Stackie comments with this though: They're actors, I don't know them and I won't pretend I know what they like or they don't or how their personalities are.

I love teasing Sebastian, and posting Stackie stuff, but I also know that we mostly see what they want to show us. I enjoy the snippets they are comfortable sharing, those great interviews and it's more than enough for me.

Sorry for the Capital letters, Stackie

has that effect on me!

[benji-writes]

Sammy, and I, and the Soda Pop Shop

Pairing: Sam Wilson x f!reader

Word count: 5.2k

Summary: Best friends since childhood, you and Sammy need to fall a part before you can come back together again. 

Warnings: hurt/comfort, mentions of death

Sammy and I always made time for the Soda Pop Shop. On the corner of Smock and Singleton, the Soda Pop Shop was a local institution. Across from Colby Cook Memorial Park, locals would pop in for a soda, a Pop Pop Burger, and a bag of Hot Hot fries. The Pop Hot Combo was not to be missed out on, and Sammy and I would get 2 orders of Pop Hots every Friday night, and head across the street to eat them at the picnic table by Magnolia Trees. They were a treat, and a sacred ritual from the time we were kids till the time he left. 

Wednesday nights we’d sit at our favored booth in the Soda Shop and order Slush Puppies – Green Apple and Grape. Sometimes we’d sit at the counter stools and talk to Mama Nell, who had owned the shop and worked behind the counter as long as anyone could remember. Nobody had a lot of money where we came from, but Sammy always took care of me. He’d buy our slushees and our Pop Hots. He’d do extra chores around the house when we were kids, hoping to get a few extra dollars to spend. When we were older, I’d see him mowing lawns or running errands for the neighbors. I could never understand why he did it. I had an allowance when we were little, and as a teenager I babysat the younger kids in the neighborhood. I could easily have bought my own food, but that was just who Sammy was. 

I tried everything I could to show Sam how much he meant to me. I’d bring him breakfast to school in the morning, even when he told me not to. His favorite was always the blueberry bagels. I’d leave him notes in sidewalk chalk on the pavement outside his house. I cut the strings off the community center yo-yos and braided them together to make us matching friendship bracelets. Sammy and I never took them off. Not ever. 

For birthdays and Christmas’s, I’d save up everything I could. I’ll never forget the look on his face when I gave him tickets to what would become our first concert. Or the Christmas after his sixteenth birthday, when I bought him a video camera. 

The best gift I ever gave Sammy though was the day before he left for the Air Force. It was years of photographs, mementos, flowers. All those special things that I’d saved over the years. I had never been so nervous. 

We’d gone out that night to the Soda Pop Shop. Everyone came by to see him: to say goodbye, to reminisce, to laugh and laugh, and to cry. 

Mama Nell told wistful stories about Sammy. She lived in the house next door, and had watched me and Sammy play in the streets, and run around the park since we were practically in diapers. She had watched us grow up, always made time to ask us how school was going, and what our plans for the weekend were. Gave us free slushees whenever she could sneak us one without the other customers noticing.  

When the night wound down, and even Sam’s family had made their way home, Sammy and I were still sat in our booth by the window. Just sitting there. Quiet. Unwilling to go home. It was then, with the tables up on the chairs, and all the stores on the block closed for the night, that Mama Nell came over and sat down with us. She placed two orders of Pop Hots down, alongside a Green Apple and a Grape Slush Puppie. We’d hardly eaten a thing all night, too caught up in everything to even think about it. Just grabbing a handful of fries, or an onion ring off of somebody else’s plate. 

The food was still steaming. We hadn’t ordered anything, but somehow Mama Nell knew we were hungry. Not just for food, but for more time. For this moment together. For one last Pop Hot before everything changed. 

She sat for a second, all of us just there in the still of the moment, food in front of us waiting to be eaten when she said, “Kids. I’ve never seen anything quite like the two of you,” She took a deep breath, and shook her head. “Won’t be the same round here.” 

With that, she dropped the keys on the table and stood. She was walking towards the door, not even looking at us, “Lock up when you kids are ready. Just drop the key in the mailbox.” 

And then she was gone. Just me and Sammy, alone for the first time all night. On the precipice of a brave new world. One we would have to face alone. 

I was the first to reach for my food. We ate quietly, but together. Sammy would be gone in only a few hours, uncertain as to when we would get to see each other again. 

When I was done eating, Sammy was still making his way through the last of his fries. Eating slow, trying to make it all last. It was then that I finally spoke.

“Hey, Sammy?” It came out quieter than I wanted it to. He didn’t look up. Just kept eating. 

“Sammy?” I said louder this time, and he shoved another fry in his mouth. 

“Sam.” That got his attention. I never called him that.

“Don’t call me that, baby.” He whispered so softly. The way he called me baby made my heart fold in on itself. 

“Then look at me,” I ordered. And he did. A moment went by where we just looked at each other. “I have something for you. I want you to have it.” He wiped his hands off with a napkin and pushed the food wrappers aside while I reached into my bag to pull his present out. It was wrapped delicately in glittery tissue paper. I placed it in front of him, and he looked at it so seriously. And with such care, and the gentlest of hands, he undid the tissue paper. 

A black scrapbook. Nothing on the cover to indicate what would be on the inside. Ever so carefully, he flipped open the cover to see a picture of us two as kids, hugging and smiling for the camera. Underneath, in my handwriting, read the words “ The Adventures of Sammy and I.”

I saw his jaw clench tight. As he flipped from page to page. Picture strewn across each of them, little notes along side. 

“Wishing well we found. Two pennies thrown in. I know what I wished for...”

 “Sittin’ on the dock of the bay. Watchin’ the tide roll away.” 

“Taken after Sammy saw his first pair of tits at Mardi Gras.” 

“Biker wannabe. Sammy during his leather jacket phase, leaning against the Soda Shop, trying to catch the babes.” 

“Prom. Sammy couldn’t get a date, so I figured I might as well take pity...” 

“Under the stars. Slush puppies in the summer time. Biggie on the radio. Nights were never better than this.” 

He ran his fingers across the pages. His eyes watered, but no tears would fall. He laughed at some of my descriptions. Let out a long sigh as he ran his hand down cream soda bottle tops, movie stubs, old sticky notes left for one another. The sun-wearing-sunglasses magnet from my school locker that he always made fun of. Magnolia petals that would fall from the tree and onto our picnic table. The fortune from a cookie he gave me that said “Believe it can be done.” 

Precious artifacts that wove together the story of our friendship. Of our everything. 

“Y/N... baby, I-“ the words caught in his throat. 

“I know, Sammy. I know” I grabbed his hand from across the table. 

He looked up at me. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I had a feeling it was about all the things we’d left unsaid. All the things that would stay unsaid. 

“You’ll stay safe out there, won’t you Sammy?” The words came out like a prayer. 

“I’ll always come back to you.” 

We sat in the park that night. Stayed out till he had to leave for basic training in the morning. We walked to the bus together. His mom and sister were already waiting there with his bag. He hugged them so tight. His mom wept. His sister pretended not to. He took a deep breath, and refused to let his chin wobble. That was my Sammy, alright. Brave face. Always trying to take care of everyone but himself. He hugged me last, shoved his head right into the crook my neck. He breathed in deep, as if he wanted to savor every piece of this last moment. As if he knew things would never be the same. He kissed my forehead, “I love you.” 

I so badly wanted him to mean it the way I meant it, “I love you too, Sammy.” 

He got on that bus, and as it pulled away a feeling settled. It was uneasy. It was empty. Something greater than loss, something more profound than grief. It was a feeling took root in the very fabric of my body. And I just knew I would never see Sammy again. 

And I didn’t. 

Not for many years. 

Not until today... 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mama Nell didn’t have any kids of her own. No husband to speak of. Just a handful of scrappy kids that came in and out of her shop over the years. She’d helped us out when we needed it. There were months where we spent more time with Mama Nell than with our own families. She was special to us. Family. 

After Sammy left, I spent more time with Mama Nell than I did with anyone – more than my family, more than Sammy’s family. I would help do chores around her house, stuff she “couldn’t” do anymore: wiping baseboards, washing the woodwork, replacing sheets and blankets, scrubbing the tub, vacuuming, dusting, and so on goes the list. Really Mama Nell was just giving me a reason, a guise, to be over at her house all the time. I was helping out. And she enjoyed having the company. We’d play hours of scrabble, and I’d usually lose. I’d show her new movies (anything with Denzel was her favorite). According to Mama, “Men had no right lookin’ that good.” We’d gossip and chop onions, and tomatoes for the Shop. 

I would spend hours with Mama at her house. But I couldn’t bring myself to actually walk into the Pop Shop. Not alone. Not without Sammy. Not for a long time. 

It was probably six months after Sammy had left before I even considered going into the shop. It was eight months before Mama Nell convinced me to help her bring over some containers of vegetables.

 Nine months had gone by, without so much as a phone call from Sammy. Not a single letter of mine replied too. Even his mom had only talked to him on the phone a few times. Said there was a lot going on he couldn’t talk about. But I didn’t care if he couldn’t talk about what he was doing in the military. I just wanted to hear his voice, hear him say my name, or crack a joke. I wanted to tell him about how me and Mama Nell had gotten even closer, and that I missed him. I wanted to see his chicken scratch handwriting, where you needed context clues to tell if he was trying to write a “g” or an “s.” I just wanted him. Something. Anything. I felt like a dog, begging for even the smallest of scraps. But nothing ever came. Any updates I got were passed on by his mom. He was supposed to come home after a couple of months, but he never did. And that feeling I had felt in my stomach the day he’d left, from the moment he stepped on that bus, only grew deeper and deeper. It became more. I was sick to my stomach with the knowledge that my Sammy was gone. 

It was his birthday – just over nine months after Sammy had left – that I really went back to the Soda Pop Shop. I sat down. Alone at our booth. Everything felt too still. Too quiet. The place was closed, but Mama Nell had long since given me a key, not that I’d ever really needed it before. Part of me still wonders if she knew this day would come. Where I’d need to finally have this moment. 

I sat in our booth, like we normally would. I made myself a Pop Hot, just the way Mama had taught me. I poured a Green Slush Puppie. I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist. 

I ate alone. 

The next day, I started working behind the counter with Mama.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“How was school today, Andy?” I asked from behind the counter, handing him a chocolate shake. 

“Stupid.” It came out all mumbled, and huffy, the way it always does when kids are asked about school. 

“You’re not getting picked on are you, honey?” I couldn’t help but worry about him. It was hard not to worry about the kids that came in and out of here. 

He took a long deep breath, “No... it’s just stupid, and I hate math, and it’s almost summer. So it’s just stupid.” 

He took a sip of his milkshake, and shrugged his shoulders. I nodded, because I remember what that was like. Me and Sammy would sit in this very spot after school, and complain to Mama Nell about how dumb school was. And she’d nod along sagely. And then, if it was one of those rare quiet days, a day like today when no one was around, she’d give us both Pop Hots – on the house. 

“Well kiddo, how’s a Pop Hot sound?” I said smiling at him. 

“Amazing! But can you wrap it up for me? I gotta be home before Ma gets mad.” He put his elbow on the table, and rested his cheek on his hand, still sipping on the straw of his milkshake. 

“Sure thing bud, I’m getting ready to close up shop anyway.” 

A few minutes later, I was wrapping up his burger in foil, and throwing his fries in a baggie. Dr. Pepper was his favorite, so I pulled one out of the fridge and stuck that in there too. 

I handed him his bag, and he pushed the empty shake glass towards me, “Be good, alright. Stay safe on the walk home, and I’ll see you soon. Flip the sign ‘closed’ on the way out.” 

He thanked me and was almost out the door when I shouted, “Tell your mother I said hello!” 

“OKAY!” I heard him yell back, muffled as the door began to close in his way out.

He was a good kid. They all were. All the little ones that came running in and out of the shop. It was easy to see why Mama Nell always took to the little rugrats that came in and out of this place. 

I grabbed his glass off the counter and turned around to start washing. The dishwasher was already running for the night, so I turned the faucet on and waited for the water to warm. That’s when the door opened, the bell above it giving a little ring. 

“Sorry pal, we’re closed for the night.” I kept washing, but whoever it was didn’t say anything, and the bell hadn’t rung again so I knew they were still there. 

I let out a little sigh, shut off the faucet, and grabbed a rag to dry my hands. 

“I’m sorry but we’re –“ I turned around, but the words caught in my throat. My rag fell to the floor, and I lifted a hand to my face. 

There was no one I expected to see less. But there he was. Taller, more angular. He’d lost his baby face, and before me stood a man. He looked sharp, like he’d just been to the barber, and for all I knew, he had. He had on a button down, and a pair of jeans. Nice leather shoes. He was even more handsome than I remembered. 

But those eyes. Those eyes that had always been so soft and hopeful. They looked so tired. Worn. Aged.

Aged... because we had aged... it had been years. It had been fucking years since I saw him last. I long since made peace with the fact that I would never see him again. Not a word from him after he left. Not a letter replied to, not a question answered, not a sight to be seen. He never came home. He never wrote. He never called. Never passed a message along to his mother, never wanted to listen to the messages I asked his mother to pass along. None of it. He promised. He was my best friend – half of my whole, all I had ever wanted, and needed, and begged for from the universe in the late of the evening. 

When we had sleepovers, he would hold me so close. We’d wake up and eat cereal in bed and watch Looney Tunes, or Family Matters, or MTV. After our lucky charms, we’d share orange slices, and grapes, and hang out for hours. I’d go home that night, and pray. I was never religious, but something about Sammy always drove me towards the unknown. I didn’t know who I was praying too, who I was begging. But I was desperate for it to work. All I’d ever wanted was my Sammy. It was always just Sammy and I, falling together in the Soda Pop Shop. 

But now... 

Now. I was angry. 

“Get out.” He looked down and nodded, but made no effort to move, “When my mom said I’d find you here, I didn’t really believe her. But when I dropped by your moms house, and she pointed me here, I figured it must’ve been true.”

“Get. Out.” The words came out through clenched teeth. 

But he just started taking steps toward me, “Listen... I know... I know what I did, okay? I know. But, baby-“ I

 cut him off, shaking my head, “Samuel.” 

That got his attention. His eyes shot straight up to mine. He looked at me for a minute. Then he nodded, real solemn, and stopped. “

I’m staying at my mom’s for a while.” 

I didn’t say anything. 

“I just... I wanted to see you.” 

My breath was shallow, “Well, you’ve seen me.” 

He shook his head, and said “Can you at least tell me where I can find Mama Nell? I figured she’d be here too.”

 I looked down, unable to believe my own ears. It was too much, it took everything in me not to break down as I said, “Luling Cemetery. Row 46, 18 down from the Oak tree.”

He didn’t say anything, just looked at me for a long while. Then he sniffled, looked down, shook his head, and shook it some more, before he turned around and kicked a chair. 

“What the fuck, Sam!” I walked out from behind the counter, and picked up the chair he’d kicked over, but he just kept walking. Walked right to our old booth. Sat in his old seat. Covered his mouth and cried. Sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. And I stood by the chair, I’d just picked up before I took a real deep breath. 

I was mad at Sammy. Mad didn’t even begin to describe it. Heartbroken, and infuriated, and in so much pain. But somehow he hadn’t known about Mama Nell. How hadn’t he known? 

I had written him letters after she died. Pleaded with him, please come home. I had never known such depths of emptiness. I had lost my Sammy, and I had lost the woman who had taken me under her wing, and showed me how to live for myself. I felt like I had nothing left to give. At first I just asked him to write me back. 

“Just write me back, Sammy. That’s all. Just this once.”  

Then I asked him to call. 

“Just let me hear your voice, Sammy. I just need to hear your voice, Sammy. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Then I asked him to come to the funeral. 

“Sammy, we have to bury her. Sammy, please. Please, Sammy. I need you here for this. I can’t do this on my own. I love you, and I need you now. I need you, Sammy. Please. Please, Sammy. Please come home.” 

Then I broke down. 

“Sammy... Please Sammy... We read the will today. 

She gave me the Shop Sammy... I own the Shop.” 

He never replied. Didn’t attend the funeral. Why didn’t he come? Why wasn’t he there? How didn’t he know? 

I let him cry for a while. Figured he needed it. Just finished cleaning up, and put all the chairs up on the tables. I walked back around the counter, and filled a glass with water, grabbed a box of tissues from underneath the back counter, and headed over to sit. For the first time in so many years, I sat across from Sammy at our old booth. It didn’t feel real. 

I pushed the water towards him, placed the box of tissues next to it, and let him cry it out. 

I’d never seen Sammy like this, not in all our years. I’d seen him shed tears, I’d even seen him cry a little. But sob? Never in my life had I seen him just weep. He looked like a little kid. But more than that, he looked like a broken man. 

When he started to breathe a little more evenly, and had wiped his face dry, I finally spoke. 

“Oh, Sammy,” I whispered. “How could you not know?” 

He shook his head. Closed his eyes, “No one ever... No ever told me. My mom she didn’t... Why didn’t you write me?” 

He sounded crushed, a devastation in his voice that felt so foreign coming from his mouth.

 “Sammy,” I was absolutely reeling, “I wrote you so many times. Sammy I wrote you for years before I stopped, and when Mama Nell died, I wrote you over and over and over. I... I begged you to come home, Sammy.” It all came out like such a broken whisper. 

He looked at me real hard, “No.” 

“Yes, Sammy. I did.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.”

“No,” He was running his hands through his hair. “No you didn’t. I got three letters from you, right in the begging. And yeah, I was an ass for not replying, but I already felt so guilty for leaving, I just didn’t know what to say. But then they stopped. Hard stopped. So don’t tell me you wrote me for years, because it was radio silence from you.” 

I couldn’t believe my own ears, “Sammy, I wrote you hundreds of letters. Hundreds, Sammy.” 

He shook his head, “I don’t... I don’t understand.” 

“Sammy, are you telling me you didn’t get my letters?” 

“Just three. I...” He shook his head, having a hard time trying to process everything. “Pretty early on they pulled me. They were starting a new program, and I was one of the guys they wanted to train for it. I was always asking them if I got any mail. Only thing they ever gave me came from Mom. Eventually I just stopped asking. I never thought...” 

We were quiet a while. Neither of us really knowing how to handle this information.

 “I promised you I’d write...” I finally got out. 

“ I know,” He said. “I know.”

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sammy stuck around after that, just like he said he would. He stayed with his mom, and started going to meetings at the VA, trying to process what had happened to him. To us. To Riley, and Mama Nell. 

He told me not long after he came back. He was helping me clean up one night. He’d been helping out around the shop whenever he could. It was so strange to turn around and see him again. 

He walked behind the counter, everyone gone, and only sweeping left to do, and poured himself a big grape Slush Puppie.  

He took a loud sip, “Oh man.” 

Then another “Mmm mmm mmm. I forgot how good these were.” 

I couldn’t help but smile, “Yeah, it’s been a while since I had one myself.” 

As soon as the words were out my mouth his cup was left to sit on the counter, and he was turning around to pour me one. A green apple Slush Puppie just waiting for me. He held it out to me like a present. Like a peace offering. 

“Come on baby, you’ve done enough sweeping. Get on back here and sip.” He was so confident it made me roll my eyes. 

But I listened. Walked over, hopped up onto a stool, and let Sammy serve me. He watched as I took the first sip, and as soon as that cool icy slush hit my tongue, I closed my eyes in sweet bliss. It was so much sweeter than I remembered. The kinda sweet only a kid could like. But it tasted like good memories, and I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for that. 

After a minute or two he said, “I got in contact with my colonel, y’know.”

 I took another sip, “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Told him that I was looking for some letters... Since I’m out now, he said he might as well tell me. Since it was such an experimental program. Something kept under wraps, no one got letters from anyone but immediate family. They have boxes for each of us. So he sent over mine.” 

I didn’t know what to say, “Sammy...” 

He just continued on, “So I finally got your letters,” He took a long shaky breath.  “Baby... baby I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, Sammy.” 

“You promised you’d write. I should’ve fought them harder on it.” 

“It’s not your fault, Sammy. You hear me? It’s not your fault. None of it Sam.” I hoped he could hear what I was telling him. He’d told me about Riley that first night. He’d just lost him, and then to find out about Mama Nell like that. It was all too much. 

And I’m a reasonable person. Logical, and understanding. I understood that what happened between Sammy and I wasn’t entirely either of our faults, and that most of it was out of our hands. I spent so many years, with so much anger inside of me. So much grief. And don’t get me wrong, I was still angry. Just not at Sammy anymore. 

“Baby...” he said, shaking his head. 

“Sammy. It’s not your fault.” 

He reached for my hand across the counter, and I let him take it. 

“I got your letters. So,” he said reaching into his back pocket. “I wrote you a reply.” 

He sat the envelope carefully down in front of me, one hand still clutched to mine. I stared at it. A letter I’d waited for for so long. A letter that finally arrived. 

But when I looked up at Sammy, who sat watching me with anxious, awaiting eyes, I found myself asking him something, “Will you read it to me, Sammy?” 

His face froze up. I saw him swallow, “Read it to you?”

And somehow his nervousness made me more confident, more desperate to hear the words come from his mouth, “Yeah, Sammy. Will you? Will you read me your letter?” 

He looked very uncertain. 

“Please, Sammy?” I whispered. 

He closed his eyes, “Okay.” 

He was being brave, and I knew it. Loved him for it. He ran his thumb across my knuckles. Then all at once, that warmth was gone and he was reaching for the envelope. 

He took a moment to himself. Just slight shook his had, as if to ask himself what am I doing? And then, ever so softly, he began to read. 

“Dear baby... 

I got your letters today. Reading them made me homesick. Made me miss Mama Nell and the Shop. But really it made me miss you.” 

He paused, and took a deep breath. The words were sincere, but they sound unnatural coming out of his mouth. They were words he never dreamed he’d say aloud.

“I wonder where the time has gone. Reading all your letters, it makes me feel like no time has passed at all, but there’s been so much lost between now and then.

 I’m sure it sounds dumb. God knows most of the things that come outta my mouth are. But I’d do anything to never be a part from you again. And I know, I know, that so much has happened. Things have gone wrong, and I’ve changed, and you’ve changed. I know we’ve grown up, but I think about tomorrow and it hurts to imagine you not being there...” 

He cleared his throat, “I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. I’ve always loved you, and not a thing that comes between us could ever change that. 

All I know is that I want to learn you all over again. Learn who’ve you grown into. I miss talking to you, and holding you. I miss sneaking kisses on your cheek, and tucking you in when we’d fall asleep watching Good Times. 

I want to earn those times back. I mean it when I say I love you. I’ve always loved you, and no matter how many times I’d try to pick up chicks at the mall, I always belonged to you. 

I never knew if you could see how much I loved you. Or if you, like me, couldn’t see past your insecurities. I think I know now. I wish I could find more words to tell you. But I hope you feel it, baby. I need you to. 

I love you. I miss you. Write back soon. Your Sammy.”

He was quiet for a long while after that, and so was I. We sat together, in the silence, sorry for ourselves and all the time we’d lost. I’ve never been more grateful for anything than all the newfound time we’d have together. 

And all at once, I was out of my seat and holding on to, Sam, his arms wrapped around me, and he picked me up to place me on the counter. He stepped between my legs, and just held me, trying to get closer, as if we didn’t become one entity in that very second, we would be torn a part forever. 

It felt good. But more than that it felt right. And now that I had this again, I would never let go. Not ever. No. From now on, it was just gonna be me and Sammy. I loved him so much. And I could feel it in my very bones, just how much he loved me. We had a long road ahead of us, but with him by my side, I knew we’d make it. Just me and Sammy. Just Sammy, and I, and the Soda Pop Shop.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: 

Hey guys! 

Been gone a super long time, probably a little over a year now. But I’ve been reading some fanfiction recently, I’m in a super positive and loving relationship, and overall, just got inspired and wanted to write again! Wrote this for myself really, just to get some creative juices out, and I’ve been sititng on it for a while. I have a feeling I’ll be writing more soon, and I’ll be sure to share. 

Also thanks to everyone who continued to read my work, even during my very lengthy absence, and like/reblog/comment. I promise I’ve seen them, and they have warmed my heart like nobody’s business. I love you all so much, and am so grateful. 

[sharoncarterappreciation]

Hi do you have a comic reading list/guide for Sharon Carter? I would really like to learn more about her in the comics but I'm not sure where to start

I know someone who’s working on an updated reading list (the last one is this one), but it isn’t ready at the moment (though you can read what she has here). As such, I’ll try to make a very rough one!

Tales of Suspense: 75-76, 85, 92-95, 97-99 Captain America, Vol 1: 100-104, 108, 114-116, 124, 127, 135-137, 140-143, 144-148 (Femme Force!), 153-156 (Steve, Sam, and Sharon team up against other!Cap and other!Bucky!), 161-163 (Peggy), 165-167 (if you’re into relationship drama), 178-182 (Nomad Steve), 202, 204 (Leila!), 206-207, 209-212 (Sharon on a SHIELD mission), 233 (brainwashed Sharon), 237 (apparently dead Sharon), 445-454 (Sharon is alive and not exactly happy about it) Captain America, Vol 3: 1 (i.e., one of the panels that made me fall in love with her more), 3-4 (free agent working with SHIELD to use their resources) Fury/Agent 13: 1-2 (Sharon goes after Nick Fury in more ways than one) Captain America, Vol 3: 9-12 (Her and Steve v Nightmare!), 13 (Steve getting involved in politics), 15-17 (Her and Steve v Skull, pt 1), 19 (v Skull, pt 2), 20 (sets up mission to Savage Land), 25-31 (Her and Steve v Nefaria in the Savage Land/Sharon becomes Director of SHIELD) Sentinel of Liberty: 1 (recons how they found out each other’s identities) Captain America, Vol 3: 34-35/Captain America Annual 2000 (Director Sharon and Steve v Protocide), 37-42 (Them v Hydra/AIM/Batroc/Steve’s current girlfriend), 45 (Nick comes back as SHIELD Director, Sharon demoted), 50 (She turns Steve down but leaves room for the future after he crashes one of her missions) Captain America, Vol 5: 1-4, 6, 8-9, 12-14, 16-7, 19-22, 24-32, 35-42, 49 (Note: All of these are the Winter Soldier arc and the Civil War arc, so Sharon suffers... a lot), 600 (Sharon thinks Steve is alive and is determined to find out for sure) Captain America Reborn: 1-6 (Sharon finds out for sure and is instrumental in bringing Steve back from his timeline) Secret Avengers, Vol 1: 1-21 (18 is PARTICULARLY good; anyway, Brubaker wrote the first batch. When Remender came on, Sharon disappears without another mention) Age of Heroes, Vol 1: 3 (Girls’ Night In - Hill, Hand, and Sharon Carter fight bad guys while bogged down with bureaucracy) Captain America, Vol 5: 615.1-618 (Bucky is in legal trouble, and she and Steve try to help) Captain America and the Secret Avengers, Vol 1: 1 (Sharon and Natasha do a mission together while Steve deals with paperwork) Captain America, Vol 6: 1-19 (Sharon has a LOT of great stuff in this one, and it isn’t as emotionally heavy as V5. Reads almost like Brubaker’s love letter to the Cap title) Captain America, Vol 7: NO. Remender wrote this batch and basically killed Sharon off for Steve to angst over. When she comes back, she’s much, much older because of her time in a pocket universe. Maybe just read the final issue, where Sam gets the shield and Sharon and Steve are stepping back from heroism (he’s old now too) and raising their son together (Ian Zola, whom Steve kind of kidnapped and soon disappears into another universe, where he meets Steve and Sharon’s biological daughter and escapes with her - supposedly back to 616 but he hasn’t been seen since). So maybe just read Issue 25 and be done with it. Captain America: Steve Rogers (1, 3-4, 6-7, 9-12, 15, 19) / Captain America: Sam Wilson (1, 6-7, 14) / Secret Empire (0-1, 3, 7-9): Note: This is the Secret Empire event where a personified Cosmic Cube replaces Steve with a Hydra version who was Hydra all along. The run wasn’t popular with a lot of people, in part because this version of Steve has co-opted by modern-day Nazi variants. So while some characters get... good character stuff, read with caution. Winter Soldier, Vol 1: 1, 3-5 (Sharon helps Bucky run a program to find people second chances so they can start over) Captain America, Vol 9: 1-9, 11-27 (Sharon gets sent into a trap, is shown to be part of a secret spy team, and gets her youth back, along with extra strength, agility, and a powered suit)

[squeezetheduck]

Pride Month Multi-fandom Rec list

Happy Pride month yall! As someone who is asexual I know we don’t get a lot of representation in the public media BUT we do sometimes get some really good representation in fan fiction. So, for Pride month I wanted to share some of my favorite fan fics from multiple fandoms that feature some really good representation of multiple different queer identities. As I am ace, there is probably more ace recs than anything else, but I have tried to include some other identities as well. So without further ado, I present to you a multi-fandom rec list that nobody asked for:

The closing walls and the ticking clocks by @i-will-not-be-caged . 5k words (mcu: samstevebucky, ace Sam Wilson)

Ok so Sam Wilson is one of my favorite mcu characters and I am soo happy that he finally got his own show with Bucky but this is a fic from before tfatws featuring an ace Sam Wilson and his two supportive boyfriends: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. This fic is beautifully written and I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a fic full of all those ace feels.

Dear Granger, Love Pansy by onlykatelyn. 6k words (hp: Pansimone, wlw)

I don’t tend to read a lot of wlw fics but this one is soo cute and angsty. It features a pining!Pansy who writes a series of heartfelt letters to Hermione and has Drarry and Blaron in the background. Its overall a super enjoyable read and even won a Drarry award in 2018!

when i’m set alight by @killproof. 6k words (atla: Zukka, trans-gay Zuko & bi Sokka)

This a cute little Zukka fic from Sokka’s perspective that basically follows the plot of the the second half of book 3 and shows Sokka falling for Zuko. It’s fluffy and adorable and features a trans Zuko but like it’s done really subtly and really well I think (also Aang and Toph are trans as well I believe).

(hope that i’m able to be) all that you need by @zukosadragon-ace. 10k words (atla: Zukka, ace Zuko & aro Toph)

Ok so I am in love with the idea of Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender being ace and this is one of my all time favorite ace Zuko fics. It is sooo soft and features an aromatic Toph Beifong and Sokka being the supportive partner that every ace hopes to find, and anyway its heartbreaking and adorable.

Such Things Are Possible by convenientalias. 13k words (Sense8: Rajalagang, Polyamory)

Ok so If you haven’t seen Sense8 stop what your doing right now and go watch it because it is an amazing scifi show with found family and more representation then you could dream of and this fic basically re-tales the last episode from the perspective of one of the characters in a CANON polyamorous relationship.

The Case of the Missing Cockatiel by gryvon. 14k words (Psych: Shassie, bi/pan/omni characters)

So I don’t think either Shawn or Lassiter’s sexualities are explicitly stated in this fic but Shawn is basically a chaotic bi in canon and defiantly not monosexual and Im pretty sure Lassie is bi/pan/omni in this fic as well. Either way its a great case fic featuring our favorite sassy psychic detectives who somehow managed to get real psychic powers this time. 

I Want You to Love Me (i want you to leave me) by @miniongrin. 20k works (mcu: Pepperony, ace Tony Stark)

I came across the Asexual Tony Stark tag at some point this year and I got a little obsessed because he is such and interesting character to read as ace. this is probably one of my favorite ace Tony fics featuring Tony trying to figure out and come to terms with his identity and a Avenger field trip to a pride parade. TW: Tony as an ace character participates in sex he’s not totally into because of social expectations and pressures that he feels under. 

you belong (to me) by hermionesmydawg . 30k words (mcu: Stucky, gay Buck & bisexual Steve)

So first off this is a NSFW BDSM fic so if that’s not your thing be warned. If you are cool with that though this is one of my favorite Stucky fics featuring a BAMF Natasha Romanov, a supportive Sam Wilson, and as the author puts it an “Aggressively bisexual Steve Rogers.” On top of the BDSM, it is mostly a cute friends-to-lovers fic about Steve, Bucky and their friends trying to live their lives after leaving the Avengers.  

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft & @celilasart. 66k words (Harry Potter: Drarry, mlm)

Both Harry and Draco identify as gay in this fic but I love it and wanted to include it in the list because the fic does a fantastic job of exploring queer history in the UK and puts a magic spin on it. It is also just a well written fic featuring loads of other lgbtq+ characters & fluffy romance with a side of smut. 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack

Full Moon Run

Summary- 7.3k Alpha!Steve x You. Next day is the full moon run, a ritual important to bonding of wolf packs. Steve learns a bit more of what you dealt with. Warning- Violence and mentions of abuse.  

A/N- Mood Board made by @omega-nicole Thank you babes! Its beautiful and perfect ❤🐺

Chapter One  / Pack Master List

Steve was gone before you even made your way out of bed and in the shower. But the scent of coffee had your nose lead you to the kitchen, and there was a handwritten note set under an empty mug, words scribbled on it in a rush. 

‘Make yourself to home Y/N, be back sometime tonight for the run. ~Steve.’ 

Simple and to the point, your finger brushed over the letters and they were well dry. He's been gone some time, the coffee has a bit of burnt smell from being on the brewer for a while. It didn't matter, you got to indulge a bit. Who would have known something like a ready-made cup of coffee would make you excited. 

Your little wolf lolled on her back and stretched her legs out, twisting her body back and forth like she was scratching her back. <Because you weren't allowed these basic things before Y/N> 

I remember, trust me I haven't forgotten. You thought back as you lifted the mug to sip the black coffee, and searched out for a sugar bowl. Once you found it, you scooped in enough for a taste and looked around the cabin. Alone once again, you smiled to yourself. Honestly, this kind of life you could get used to. Morning coffee out on the deck, have the freedom to be in your human side or wolf side. Not have your old alpha breathing down your neck, controlling all your movements. Your hand absently came to an old scar on your shoulder, rubbing at it as it started to ache. One of the many bites you've been issued from your old pack. Although never properly claimed, you would never lose any of them. 

Shaking it off, you popped open the door and came out to see that The Compound was bustling, trucks coming and going from the large garage at the other end of the clearing, a bunch of kids were herded into another vehicle, and across the lot, Sara headed over with a greeting, a wave of her hand before she got close enough to speak. “Hey, I was heading into town, you wanted to come? Can hook you up with some clothes and such.” 

You look down at your outfit. Wearing a woman's named Wanda's shorts, and wearing the oversized tee that you had a feeling belonged to Steve, knotted at your side so it wouldn't fall almost to your knees. “I would but... well I didn't come with anything. I don't have any cash or such.” You tried to shrug off your situation and Sara dug in her pocket pulling out a card. “Steve dropped this off to me this morning, and we know Alphas don't take no for an answer. Might as well come along and get what you want.” 

“I don't know...” You started, rubbing at your arm. “Steve didn't exactly say I could leave the grounds. And I don't want to upset the Alpha already.” Sara frowned and shook her head, smiling. “Trust me, Steve isn't like that at all. He won't mind, I know he wants you to have what you need while you're here. If you want, I can call him? I know Sams got his phone on him, and they went up together to the lot.” 

You finally give in, and finish off the last swallow of your coffee. “Okay, I trust you. Give me five and I will be ready to go.” You pop back in the house and Sara comes up the steps, following you in to wait. Going to the bathroom, your finger brushes your hair, glancing around to see if Steve happened to keep a comb or something. Probably in his room, but you weren't risking that again. 

<Chicken shit> your little wolf snickered, and you rolled your eyes at your reflection, muttering under your breath. “your such a bitch.” 

<Sure we are> sharp yips echoing in your mind as laughter. Deeming yourself looking fine, you come back out, lifting the back of your shorts back up as they slid down a bit, scowling. “Clothes are desperately needed. These are just too big.” 

“That's the spirit” Sara loped and arm through yours, and ou two headed out of the cabin and to a vehicle that Sara dug keys out of her back pocket. You two headed out of the compound, and you couldn't help a bit of the panicked feeling, which Sara must have picked up on. Your breathing and heart race both lifting slightly. “Hey, I promise he's okay with this. Giving a nod, and taking a deep breath, your little wolf shook out her nerves before settling back down. 

<Steve won't hurt us.> Stated so sincerely and with conviction, you let yourself agree, and settled in the seat, taking in the scenery and Saras talking about how she and Sam met. You couldn't help but smile to yourself listening, it was apparent how much she loved her mate. For the first time in a long time, you just did something as normal as hanging out and shopping. You were happy, as well as your little wolf, although there was the occasional pining for Steve, which you promptly continued shutting that down with frustration. If you don't stop, I'm throwing up the maze for you to work through... 

<You got enough, let's go home.> prancing in places, her tail wagging at the idea. You couldn't help but smile at how happy your wolf side was now. There wasn't cowering aggression constantly rippling through you anymore. Soon, we will head back to the cabin. 

<Home.>

Maybe home. Were not sure yet. 

<After tonights run, it will be home.> you're yanking a shirt off over your head, retorting back. Its been a whole day, and who knows if we're still being hunted? You are so damn ready to bond with this male, and then what? That's it. This is where we will always belong.

<What's wrong with that?>

Before you could even answer your wolf, or pause Sara at the dressing room door since you were distracted between the two simultaneous happenings at the same time, the door open. "So I thought this color- oh sweetie" she gasped at your back. Grabbing the shirt you had just pulled off and holding it to your front, trying to spin out of sight, but this is a dressing room, and there was no hiding from all the mirrors behind you. 

"Are you okay?" Sara is sure to close the door and you still clutching the shirt. "Who did that to you?"

"It doesn't matter.... " shame floods your face and your little wolf whines while wrapping around herself, a soft quivering ball in your mind going down your spine. "Please... Don't say anything, I don't want anyone knowing." I don't want Steve knowing. 

Sara breathed out and her gaze went from the mirror to your face, that looks of sadness just bringing more shame. Her hands came up to cup your face and make you look at her. “I won't say anything, it is your story to tell. But if you want to, I'm right here. Steve too, he would want to know.” You wolf whined at his name, the feeling of yearning rolling through your chest, to have him see you and not turn away. But your last Alpha deemed you useless to mate, to marked with bites to bond with anyone. Why being collared and sold was your only option. 

“Thanks Sara... I think I'm ready to head back.” You say softly and go to pick up your shirt and slip it back on, all the memories and feelings slipping back darkly in your eyes. 

Sara gathered up the clothing you had picked, worried features pinching her face. “Let me just ring these up sweetie and we will head on home.” 

Miles away Steve stood to survey the damn delimber they used to clean the logs, arms folded over his chest until he lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing. Sam, he's underneath it, hands up in the machine, looking at parts. 

“Mmmhh, Just as I thought, they stuck that oversized pine into it and jammed it all up. These parts are gonna take at least a couple weeks to replace.” He rolled out from underneath and stood, brushing off his backside. 

“Standstill?” Steve asked, his headache starting to form at his temples. Not that they would be financially strapped, but there was a large order coming in, and they had won the bid to fulfill it. Steve always made sure to deliver on time, and this set back might be pushing that back, in any business, it was all about the name and word of mouth. Something he had worked fucking hard on in the years he's been Alpha. 

“Not quite, gonna be a bitch though. Clean them up by hand, it will be slow though.” Sam stated honestly, and rubbed the back of his neck, a slight bit of hesitation in his voice. “Or, you can contact Stark, see if he has the parts on hand. I know you've been wanting to drive up there to discuss Nat and Clint coming back from there internship in New York.” 

Steve remained silent, staring at the broken piece of machinery, willing it to be fixed. <If you study that thing any harder, you are gonna give us a migraine.> His wolf huffed, impatient. The beast didn't like staying still, studying, thinking. Wanting action, to do something, anything besides just staring. Well what do you think we should do, wait on the parts, or ask Stark Towers for help? 

<I think you should just get done this crap and let's go home to our mate. I bet shes back now, and just as ready to see you.> The wolf stated smugly, is no help in his current predicament. 

You know what... So am I. Checking his watch, he decided it was time to just call it a day. All of this, well it would be a problem to deal with in the morning. Maybe that would bring him the answer he needed. “Let's pack it up Sam, it's getting late, and I can think about which we should do.” 

Sam broke out in a relieved grin, grabbing some of the tools he had used, and tossed them in the back of the pickup. “I'm not gonna say no to that. Sara sent me a message that she was done shopping with Y/N, and they were headed back.” Grabbing the walkie off the passenger seat, he pushed the button, hearing it crackle then turn to a hollow soft hum, he spoke telling everyone they were knocking off early and shut it all down. The woods slowly stopped humming with the sound of machines miles away in another lot. Another cackle with a “Sure thing Wilson” and it went silent. 

Hearing that You had spent a day out shopping made Steve warm, blossoming with soft happiness swirling from his stomach and up to his neck, turning his ears red at the thought of you twisting in a mirror to see all of you. Now he wished he was there handing you the clothes, have you model for him, see the way your eyes would light up and your cheeks bloom pink with his compliments. Of course his wolf appreciated the visual image, pressing for more control, making Steve get behind the wheel with Sam and drive just a bit faster back. 

When is the last time we've been excited to return home? Steve considered, fingers thrumming on the steering wheel as they pulled off the logging road to Route 2, speeding along to The Compounds entrance. 

<It's been a while since life's been this good.> The large wolf shook himself out, itching for the little wolf at home. <Full Moon run we will get to see her set free for the first time.> 

That made Steve smile more thinking about getting to see you shift. Having only seen you once, your wolf had been a beauty to him. Long-legged for swift travels that wolves in the south typically had. You were still smaller in size next to the northern packs such as there pack was, with a long slender muzzle that ended in a pointed nose. Large eyes that at the time were fearful. This time he hoped to see the joy in them. 

When Steve and Sam parked the truck, the two men stepping out and discussing tomorrow's plans for the crew tomorrow, Steve inhaled your scent, and whipped his head around, searching. Upon the front porch, both You and Sara are lounging in the deck chairs, feet kicked up on the railing, and a glass of iced tea in each of your hands, laughing together. Neither of you realized that that the men were back, but as they approached, Sara dropped her feet and jumped up to lean over the railing, see them. “Well look what old mutts finally arrived back! we've been waiting for you.” Sam paused and his hands went to his hips. 

“Woman, you gonna come say hello, or am I gonna have to come up there and drag you down?” A wide grin flashed her teasing, and she skipped down the stairs and raced over to him, jumping in his arms to give him a racy kiss and playful ones all over his face. “Missed you Stud.” That just made Sam grin, and let her fall back to her feet, her arm wrapping around him. Steve in the meantime walked up the steps, and you to had come to a stand to welcome the Alpha home. 

<I can tell you how to welcome him home. Look at him! He wants you to be all his like those two.>

Please give it a rest! You plead as you take in the sight of Steve coming up the porch steps, his hair a mess, they tee clung to his chest where he must have sweated at some point. Yes, yes he did, cause that just barely hit you too. Normally someone's scent would make you pull back a bit, but not his. It warmed through you, screaming MAN in your mind. Healthy and strong, your Little Wolf appreciated it, rumbling out. <Alpha, even in human form. He certainly wouldn't tire easily...> Teasing lilt to her tone. 

God your really a bitch.

Steve was looking you up and down, once he saw your outfit, his gaze seemed pleased at the choice you made, and although simple, nothing more than a pair of denim shorts, and still that men's tee tied in a knot just a few inches above the top of your shorts, he seems to fully approve of the relaxed look. “Do you want me to go get you a beer? Or make an iced tea like Sara and I are having?” 

“No, I got it. I heard you went out with Sara. I hope you were able to get everything you needed?” 

“Oh yes, thank you... you didn't have to do that Steve. But I appreciate it.” his wolf rumbled happily hearing you, and although the two of you weren't touching, you were close enough that Steve could just reach out, brush fingers along the curve of your face, grasp your chin... Enough! 

<Shes close, see the way her eyes are taking us in? She sees were strong and would protect her. If you would just make the first fucking move!>

“It was not a problem Y/N, nothing I wouldn't do for anyone.” and your eyes seemed to shut off a bit, pull back at Steve's words, leaving his wolf growling and snapping at Steves behavior. Giving an awkward nod as he reached for the door, Steve escaped inside, and you breathed out a held breath, a bit taken aback from his comment. 

Your Little Wolf paces now unsettled, nuzzling into you as she knows your upset feeling. <He cares, he's just afraid of pushing you.> so calmly said, you sink into your thoughts. I don't know, maybe I misread the situation. Besides, this is what I wanted. Nobody special, I'm just a member of this pack. You glance at the closed door. <No you haven't! Just wait, the run will prove it. I feel his wolf calling to me. Why do you keep lying to me?> You have nothing to respond with, and turn your attention to Sam and Sara coming up on the porch. Sam sat in Sara's previous chair, and Sara perching on his lap, falling right back into conversation with You. You make yourself pay attention, ignoring Steve's comment from earlier. Or trying to. 

On the other side of the door, Steve leaned against it, cursing under his breath. “Son of a fucking bitch, why did I say that?” he pulls away and tugs off his dirty shirt, balling it up and as he went into the bedroom, he tossed it with frustration at the hamper, still mentally cursing himself out for the sheer awkwardness that made him up. 

<I don't know either, I mean you just let me take over, your mate wouldn't be out on the stoop now trying to figure out your mixed fucking signals.> 

Opening his closet door, Steve grabbed a plain grey tee and tugged it on. And what do you know about any of this? She's here for protection, not to be my next anything. He snapped back as he headed into the bathroom, and ran the water to let it warm up. Soaping his hands and scrubbing vigorously before cupping to splash water in his face. <Well I know enough not to let her think she's not wanted> The large wolf roared back in frustration and as Steve dried his face, and looked up in the mirror, he stared back at yellow eyes staring back at him, not his usual blue. The wolf was pissed off, and threatening to finish taking control. Grasping the edge of the sink, he let his head dip so he didn't have to see it anymore, dragging in air deeply and letting it out slowly. The next time he glanced at himself, all was normal. The wall he slammed up in this mind would control his beast... for now. 

On his way back out, he grabbed two beers from the fridge and stepping out on the porch, he rejoined the three of them, handing Sam the beer before leaning back against the railing. The two women were animated talkers, telling Sam all about there shopping trip. Steve admired how your hands would wave in the air, and your head would tip back, long tresses of hair falling down your back as you laughed. The anger he felt dissipated in your presence, and you would look up at him with a grin, and what he wouldn't do to be the one making you feel this way. 

“And here we are.” Sara leaned back against Sam's chest, taking his beer bottle and taking a drag off it. “Y/N, how you feeling about the run tonight?” The Little Wolf pranced joyfully to be able to run in a pack again, and you hug around yourself for a moment, Steves eyes flicking to see the defensive move you made, even your scent changed slightly to him. Tinged with fear, although your smile remained on your face. “Excited, it has been a while since I've been able to do something like that. A long while... “ You drifted off and picked up the iced tea glasses. “Excuse me please.” You dipped inside and Steve pushed off the railing, taking another drag of beer. 

“Meet up with you two later?” Steve went towards the door, and Sam picked up on what he was saying, tapping Sara's thighs. “Come on Baby, how about you come to show me what you bought.” The two of them standing, Sara bit her lip and looked towards where you had disappeared. “Steve....” Sara drifted off, and Steve looked over his shoulder with an arched brow at the woman. She waved it off suddenly and went down the remaining stairs. “See you later.” Taking Sam's hand, the two-headed off. 

Weird... Steve popped open the door and went inside to see you remaking more teas. “They headed on back home till later tonight.” He let his elbows leaning on the counter while you paused. “Don't worry, I will take Saras.” Reaching out to take it, you chuckle just as he took a swallow and winced. 

“I haven't put the bit of sugar in it yet Steve.” Chuckling as you took it back and sprinkled some in. “I would have said goodbye if I known.” 

“You will see her again in just a bit,” Steve started and watched as you finished making yours. “Y/N earlier when we were discussing the run, were you okay?” The wolf perked back up at this, his ears straining towards the woman, silent though. They were both vividly aware of her nervousness at the question. 

“Sure Steve. Wh-Why do you ask?” You are not looking at him, seeming to avoid his gaze, watching with interest at the glass before you, the spoon spinning the liquid around and around. Steve reached forward once more and took the glass from you, and set it aside. 

“Y/N, please look at me.” His voice was different this time, and Steve could see the inner battle crossing your face. A bit stubborn? You have been nothing but compliant since you've arrived, and this surprised him a bit. <Tell her again, we have to find out what's wrong.> Steve tilted his head though instead and tried to catch your gaze, his tone sterner this time. This was absolute. Your Little Wolf wouldn't let you disobey him anymore. “Y/N, look at me?” This time he saw your features smooth and you did look up at him. “because you smelled of fear, If you are afraid to do this, You don't have to.” Pushing off the bar, he instinctively circled the counter to stand near you, a hand lightly touching your arm, hoping that you would be able to answer him. 

“Sorry, yes, I'm very excited about this. I haven't... I haven't been allowed to run with a pack in over a year.” You tried explaining, and Steve frowned at this. Being denied to run with your pack? It was everything a wolf craved, the closeness, working together. Steve had never thought of denying any of the packs the right to run together, and his wolf growled with a bristle of fur along his spine. <What kind of Alpha is this? He doesn't lead a pack with honor, denying his wolves the run.> Steve let it sink in that you've been semi-isolated as a wolf. 

<We need her to tell us everything that this Alpha is doing, selling wolves, denying the run... what else could the Alpha have done to her?> 

We will see if she tells us. 

“Y/N, why would he deny that to you?” Steve asked and you wrinkled your nose to keep from letting your emotions take over. Picking up your glass and taking a swallow, you set it back down, your nails tapping against it. “Because I was to be collared and sold. I was kept away from the pack with the other unmated wolves. That way we wouldn't find a partner in the run. He would lose his income.” You wipe at your face and ask softly. “Please... can you release me? Let me look away.” 

It took a minute till it clicked for Steve that you were serious, your eyes big and round staring at him, shining with held back tears, he suspected now from being forced to listen. “Of course, you can do whatever you want Y/N, you don't have to look at me anymore.” And you lost the rigid attention, seeming to sink in on yourself. Head bowed, shoulders dropped a bit with a shudder. Taking your glass of iced tea, you skirted around Steve, keeping your voice low “Was there anything else you needed right now Alpha?” 

“No... no. We will come to find you for the run in a couple of hours.” How hard did he restrain himself from reaching out to touch you, give comfort at your unease. But you didn't seek it, and he wasn't going to force it on you. Promptly you disappeared to your room. Once you were out of sight, Steve didn't look away from your door, processing everything he had just learned. 

<Her free will had been taken away... She would have obeyed us if we told her to harm herself.> His wolf whined out, ears pinned back against his skull at the unease of the situation.  

Why we will not use that on her again if we can help it... and it's time to find out more about this pack. Pulling out his phone from his pocket, and sent a text to Bucky explaining what he needed to be done. He received a simple text back with a “Done” and set his phone aside. It also reminded Steve he needed to get back with Stark about his wolves on an intern with him. If the twins Natasha and Clint were back, he would have sent them. Glancing outside, Steve noticed the moon starting to edge over the lake, and he found solace in that. At least he could be the one to give her the first run in over a year. And tonight's moon looked like a Super Moon, large glowing orb that would recharge them. Tonight will be a good night... 

Later you heard a knock on your door and you stirred in your bed. “Y/N, it's time... “ Steve poked his head in and flashed a grin of excitement that made him almost child-like. Swinging your legs off the bed, you can't help but catch that excitement, and stretch out any kinks in your back. Your Little Wolf started hopping and slapping her front paws in anticipation, just feeding your mood. 

“I'm kinda nervous” You breath out as you pass Steve, and head for the door, you're biting your lip as you look over your shoulder at him, grinning. Any discomfort from your earlier conversation just seems magically gone as both of you slip more into the wolves personas. As you opened the door, Steve came up behind you, tickling along your hips. Laughing, you sprang out of reach and leaped off the porch, and spun on your feet in the soft grass to face him, smirking as you looked up at him tugging off his shirt to toss it aside. Your breath sucked in, and fingers flexed wanting to drag your hands across his pecs, through the hair dusting down beyond his slightly softer stomach. Even your Little Wolf stopped her exciting dance, licking her muzzle with a sweep of her tongue, whimpering. 

<Y/N....> whining out and you whimpered yourself inwards, taking a teasing step back from the Alpha who started to stalk you playfully down the steps. Trust me, I see... You bolt away before he can even reach you, racing down the path where you see other people similarly playing with each other, Steve was quick to catch you, and swinging you up where he grasped your waist, your feet kicking out and laughing. Prying at his fingers, you growled at him with flashing wolf eyes. “You don't seem too nervous right now Y/N, growling at your Alpha,” Steve stated against your ear, inhaling deeply against your neck while setting you down, and your dancing away from him, your legs stretching and twisting, making you itch to shift. Your breathing was coming out in rushes at being so close, pressed against the wall of his chest, his scent having washed over you and making your body ache for so much more. 

<You can have more if you let him. I told you he wanted you.>

He's caught up like I am in the full moon, that's all it is. The Little Wolf snaps a bit at you in frustration.  

Steve pulled up quick to admire you dancing through the moonlight, your head tipped back to be washed in the light, your eyes shimmering in the wolfish way as they reflected the moonlight when you looked back at him. <Shes so beautiful Steve, this is the way she's supposed to be. Your mate, dancing in the moonlight.> And Steve really couldn't rebut the Wolf's observation at this moment. “You haven't given me a reason to be.” You turn and say simply, and before he could respond, Sara came jogging over, Wanda in tow. “Were stealing out girl here!” Sara sass's while booking an arm through Your arm, and Wanda takes over the other side, smirking at Steve, who's folding his arms over his chest. 

“Oh really, and what if I say no?” Steve retorts. Leaving Sara snorting at him, the two women already dragging you away. “Since when do we listen to you?” Slight amount of panic races through you. <He didn't say we could go Y/N, you have to go back before he gets angry!> and you're about to pull away from the women to return to the Alpha. 

Steve watched as Sara and Wanda started to lead you away when he saw your back tense up and the way you glanced at him over your shoulder. Even your scent was once more tinged with fear, now picking up that sharp sting in his inhale that mingled with your usual honeysuckle softness. Before his wolf could point out the obvious to him, he nodded at you, letting you know it was okay, you were safe to go. It was immediate, the change of relief, and you turned back to follow along with Wanda and Sara to join other women, as was how their pack started to run. 

Breathing in deeply, it surprised Steve how easily he was able to follow you, easily picking you out of the other mingled scents that made up the pack, and content that you were safe, excited and he would be seeing you within a few minutes, he decided it was officially time to start. Not bothering to go down to the lower field where the males were showing off moments of bravado and boasting as large groups of the male species did, Steve lost the last of his clothing and started to let the wolf take over. Although uncomfortable, it was fairly quick for shifters. Their bodies melding from human to wolf. When he opened his eyes again, the world was different, the night now belonged to him and he was more than ready to claim it. The silver beast tossed his head back and paid homage to the moon, officially starting the pack run. Answers called back, some as sharp yips and others as low dragged out songs. 

You had never met Wanda, but her scent was familiar as the borrowed clothes. Just as with anyone you've met so far aside from Bucky, she introduced herself and that was it, you were her packmate and she treated you as if she's known you for years. “We better be quick.” She states as she lets you go and starts tugging at her clothing, yanking it off without any hesitation, and the others around you are doing the same. A bit more tentative, trying to keep your back hidden you start doing the same. Tossing a shirt and dragging down your pants, already Sara has shifted, a sleek black wolf and Wanda is right behind her, and red wolf stretching out with long front legs stretching behind her, head was thrown back to the moon. Sara tilts her head towards you waiting as Steves howl starts. Soon you're surrounded by howling wolves, and your own Little Wolf is pushing to join. 

Releasing her, she was quick to take over and your howls are dipping right in with the rest. A ripple went through the pack, as haunches coiled underneath and a wave of wolves leaped forward, moving into the forest beyond The Compound. Sara waved her tail, and you to stretched out to run alongside her, brushing up against her as the two of you worked in sync, soon passing others on your left and right. It's not long before the larger males join, weaving among the females, snapping at them in play, out of the corner of your eye, you can see Sara pull up, and twist into a mottled brown wolf. Recognizing Sam from the day before. She leaped at her mate, brushing up against him and nipping under his chin. The pair weaved around each other, fondly biting each other's ruffs and showing affection in the way wolves do. 

Your fast run slowed to a jog, letting your nose lead you now. Once in awhile another wolf would brush up against you, enticing you in play. Slapping front paws against the pine needles, tail high in the air, waving above you like a flag before you two would charge at one another. This, this is what you missed when with your previous pack. How your Little Wolf leads you two through the night with fleeting bursts of speed. Your howl, rang clear as a bell being struck through the night. 

Steve cocked his head listening to the wolves' cries, picking you out right away, the large Alpha spun in place, his nose high in the air, seeking... until he found you. With a loose jog, he followed the tail like bread crumbs, his tongue lolling out to taste the air, and a swipe over his muzzle like a beast getting ready for dinner. Finally he saw you, teasing another packmate with leaps and bounds, back and forth chasing one another through the brush. You twisted away from yawning jaws and snapped back in play till you saw Steve. Shaking out your fur vigorously, your ears perked at him, yellow eyes flashing in the darkness at him. Rolling forward into a lope, you packed up to him, and lowered to your belly in submission to your Alpha, sidling up underneath his chin, and licking nibbling at him. The wolf softened, and nuzzled back, gentle as he bit the top of your muzzle, accepting that you now belonged to him, his packmate as well.

So easily the wolves accepted each other, now if only the humans could as well.  

Once he let go, you nipped playfully at his ear, tugging it and brushing alongside, the two of you bounding off as a pair, soon catching up with the rest and bypassing them as well. The only other pair matching you two was Sara and Sam, long-legged leaps eating up the ground, you couldn't pass up the challenge that the two of them gave, and with a burst of speed, you pulled away from the large silver wolf matching you, your legs stretching and claws barely grazing the pine needles before they flew out again, Sam huffed at being beaten watching your tail whisk at him with a laughing bark from you. 

The Alpha had never seen anything quite like it, Sam had many years ago earned the nickname Falcon for his speed, but here you were, outpacing him easily. Your sleek fur brushing back, and your muzzle sharp and streamlined you. Like a bird of prey spiraling into a dive, you twisted in the air once you got to the border, paralleling yourself along no man's land, the rest of the pack came up from behind. Soon you eased up, falling back to pace with Steve, your nose low to the ground, tracking the border scent. Half the pack weaved out to the right, the large group ominous to any that might challenge them. Steve relaxed into your touch every time you weaved back into him, your scents now intermingling, becoming as much as an imprint on others as it was on you. You were now officially part of the mountains, losing the scent of your old pack life. 

It was early hours when the pack returned to The Compound, weaving among each other, tiredly pacing with each other. Adults carried pups from the scruff if they were small enough, heads hanging low enough that the pups backsides would bounce a time or two off the soft grass, even Steve is carrying one back, the pups yawning, and blue eyes blinking sleepily up at him, licking at his chin before his head flops down to give a tiny snore. You follow along next to Steve, chuckling at the dangling pup. Soon his mother comes and collects him, bounding off towards home. 

Home... what a thought for you. You never really expected any place to feel like home, but as you pause going up the wooden steps, Steve not far behind, you watch as the rest of the pack settle down wherever they were content. A few stayed outside, circling one another in mismatched pairs, tucking head over another's back, and giving a sigh. Some returned home, Sara and Sam trotted past, still playfully nipping at one another and giving a yip in greeting before they went towards there own cabin. Steve brushed past you, mouthing your ear with affection before he went inside, you right behind, and to your room. The human persona edging for control again and a leap sent you into bed. 

You were laying there, right on the edge of a deep sleep when a hand muffled over your mouth and a sneering face loomed over you, whispering. “Make a fucking noise, and your throat is ripped out before I die.” Your eyes go wide in panic, and your hands go to claw at his chest, trying to push away. Where was Steve?!?! Your Little Wolf is snarling, pushing to shift but to exhausted from the run earlier, and your body ripples in the frustration and pain, causing you to tell out before your back to your human self. Outside you hear loud snarls of wolves fighting each other and the man cursed, that's when it clicks it's the Tracker on your trail just a couple of days ago. Grabbing you by the arm to drag you out. 

Steve is sound asleep when his senses tingle. <Intruder... someone is in the house.> His eyes shot open, and quiet as he moves to get up, yanking on a pair of sweats near the bed. Soft steps send him to the door, and his wolf is bristling in silence, honed in for any noise that might be made by the individual. It certainly wasn't anyone he knew but did carry your old scent. That's when he heard the scramble in your room, and he burst into the hallway, your scream of pain making his fist slam against the door. The door was thrown to embed into the wall, and the man had his arm fisted around your neck, wrenching your head back, you're trying to connect a fist or foot at him to release you, and Steve takes this all in a glance before he's tackling at the man, ripping him to release you, where you fall to the ground, trying to drag air back in your lungs and coughing. 

Now Steve has the upper hand, dragging the man from his house, his oversized hands wrapped along the back of his neck, ready to snap it with a twist the other fisted in his shift to haul him along. Kicking his front door open, outside was a whole other scene. Bucky must have caught the second intruder, the lookout outside the cabin as he was returning home from his time in the town. Blood streaked down his white chest and along the side of his muzzles, the wolf at his feet dead. Steve snarled in the man's ear. “You better start fucking talking or that's going to be you in five seconds.” Fingers digging in threat along the back of his neck just above the spine, the man tried twisting in his hold at an attempt to save his life. “NOW TRESPASSER" 

“She's not yours! My brother and I were told to bring her back to our Alpha. He didn't release her, you cant lay any kind of claim to her. “ The man's voice panicked, eyes rolling up at Steve looming above him. “It's our job, our Alphas command.” Just as he's saying this, you step out onto the porch, tears streaming down your face. You knew this was what would happen, Pierce never let anyone get away from him, not unless it was with death or from a sale. Steve happened to see you, and lowly growled out. “Go back inside Y/N....” But you took another step forward to descend the stairs. His anger at the situation left Steve roaring out. “Right Now" and you had to listen. Your wolf couldn't disobey her Alpha, and you raced back inside, the door yawning open to show the darkness of the interior. Now that Steve was sure you were away from the men, the pack coming out to gather around, Sam racing up alongside Bucky to kneel near the dead wolf and inspect him. 

“I have a message for your Alpha, the only reason I'm not killing you,” Steve growled out as he twisted his hand, strength making the man cry out. How easy would it be to snap his neck right now. “Tell your Alpha if he wants her, he has to come to get her from me.” Tossing him away to sprawl against his dead brother, Bucky snapping right at his face, spit and blood scattering across the man's face like splatter, leaving him blinking in shock at the white wolf. Steve snarled out. “Get out of here, and be sure to haul your brother away to. Count yourself fucking lucky. If you come back, I will rip your throat out.” Sam and a few others ready to escort them right out of town. Bucky sighed almost wearily as they marched away, and Steve dropped a hand to his friends back. “Thank you Buck.” The white wolf eased away, leaving Steve alone. 

Inside your panicking, your chest aching and pacing around. Steve came in to find you wide-eyed, his shift hanging loosely whipping around you as you snap back and forth between the kitchen and living room, there wasn't much space in between so if you went like that for long, sure to wear a hole in the floor. 

<Go to her... she needs to know it's okay, that you are here to protect her.>

“Y/N... “ Steve starts, but you snap out instead. 

“I knew, I knew this would happen. I didn't go far enough, I should have gone further north. He's coming, he's coming to destroy you all and drag me back. I can't fucking believe I caused this, Fuck fuck fuck, Steve I'm so sorry I brought this on.” 

Before you could continue, you twist to go the other way and slam into Steve's bare chest, his hands wrapping around you. You are momentarily struck into confusion, pulling away, but his voice is soft against your ear, calling you to attention. “Hush, you didn't do anything wrong, and nothing is going to happen to us. Let him come... the man needs to be removed from what he did to you what he is doing.” Your panting as your forehead least against the center of his chest, and he loosens his hold now that you are not fighting him, keeping it loose around you. 

“I shouldn't have brought it to your doorstep, Steve.” You cry out softly, unable to hold it back anymore. Warm tears fall on his chest, and he rumbles softly. 

“I'm fucking glad you did Y/N.” He allowed himself to let his head drop to press a kiss at the crown of your head. Let them try to claim you...  

<Oh yes... please let them try.> The Silver Wolf grinned in the darkness of his mind, wickedly curved canines flashing white, just waiting to be used. 

Tags- @what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @official-and-unstable-satan @kimisama1989 @stardancerluv @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @alexakeyloveloki @ayamenimthiriel @irishflutiegirl @fallenoutofrose @caffiend-queen @southerngracela​ @bigandprettyyyy @djeniiscorner​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater  @rinkashirikitateku

[ao3feed-lokiangst]

The Winter Briar

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/OXRnKly

by ladyvesuvia

All is as it should be: love letters, milkshakes, and dancing. But in a blink of an eye, the simple love story of the sergeant and his general’s daughter can escalate from romance to eventual bloodbath, and the plan of escape to find answers goes awry. An epic love story is delayed by almost a whole century when two lovers are turned into pawns; the other a killing machine and the other a constant last resort, a failed winter soldier — the Winter Briar.

Words: 4344, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Helmut Zemo, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader

Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, 1940s, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, messy story kinda and inconsistent posting, ANYWAAYYY, reader is a failed winter soldier, lots of, Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Minor Original Character(s), i mean just a few they won't be the main focus don't worry, basically this starts in the 40s until the present, POV Second Person, Hydra (Marvel), Brainwashing, might stray a bit from canon btw, just putting this here to be motivated, until i finish, and post it on tumblr with a proper masterlist

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/OXRnKly

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love Is Not Forced ~ 18

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,030ish

Summary: The Princess arrives in Brooklyn.

The King of Brooklyn had been a nervous wreck, the two weeks the Princess had stayed in Wakanda. He feared that she was never going to show, never going to give him a chance. The hope that blossomed within him upon receiving T’Challa’s letter that the Princess would soon be in Brooklyn, was fleeting. The nerves set in were worse than before. The King knew that he had messed up with Y/N, multiple times, and that her stay in Brooklyn would be his last chance.

King Steven’s three closest friends had to keep him calm and keep the preparation running as the King worried. There was Captain James Barnes, or Bucky, who was make sure that the guards were prepared. There was Lady Natasha, James’ wife, who was making sure that the place was clean and fresh flower arrangements were being prepared. Lastly, but certainly not least, there was Lord Samuel Wilson, or Sam, who was making sure the guard was prepped as well and that the meal menus looked good.

“I think I’m going to pass out,” Steve stated, pacing back and forth in the entry way of his castle.

“I wouldn’t put it passed your body, with the way you’re pacing,” Bucky responded, watching his King.

“I can’t wait for the Princess to arrive at the same time we’re carrying your body away,” Sam laughed. “Now that would be a story to tell!”

“You boys helping Steve’s nerves, or making it worse?” Natasha asked, walking into the room.

“Worse.”     “Better.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and headed over to her nervous friend. She put her hands on his arms to get him to stop pacing and look at her.

“It will be fine, Steve,” she said.

“I’m going to screw up again,” he panicked, shaking his head. “I just know it.”

“Steve,” Natasha moved her hands to the King’s face to keep his focus on her. “Breathe. There’s no way you could possibly screw up again. You have so many different ideas and advantages to get her to open up to you. The Princess has never seen the sea or walked on the beach. Show her how wonderful our kingdom is.”

“Your Majesty,” a guard came in, “the Princess of Alexandria is approaching the gate.”

The smell that filled Y/N’s nostrils as she approached Brooklyn’s castle was foreign to her. But it smelt wonderful. It was salty and kind of chilly. She was became more in awe, the closer the carriage got to the castle. The King’s castle was built on top of and on the side of a cliff. Crystal clear, blue water was its view and there were beaches covered in white sand below. King Steven had told her Brooklyn was beautiful and, unfortunately, she wholeheartedly agreed.

As the carriage pulled up to the castle, the King and his guards were there waiting to greet her. The King rushed to the carriage to open the door and help the Princess out.

“It’s so good to see you again, Your Highness,” the King said, holding a hand out to help her out.

“Likewise,” the Princess responded, curtly, as she ignored his hand and helped herself out.

The King sighed. He knew it was going to be hard to gain her favor, and this just proved it. “I hope the trip here wasn’t too bad. The  roads from Wakanda to Brooklyn can be rough.”

“They were fine,” Y/N responded, keeping her eyes busy at looking everywhere else but the King. From what she had seen of the castle so far, she was impressed. But she would never tell him that.

“So, I was thinking that I could introduce you to Brooklyn tonight?”

“Tonight?” Y/N finally let herself look at the King.

“Well, not to the whole kingdom,” he rushed, looking a bit embarrassed. “But you told me that you’ve never seen the sea or beach before, so I thought that you and I could have dinner on the beach.”

Y/N was a bit surprised at his offer. “You’re not sending me to rest until tomorrow? All the other kingdoms have shown me to my room and told me to rest until the next day.”

“We could do that, if you want. I just thought that—“

“No. I… I don’t want that. I… Yes. I would love to join you for dinner.”

The King smiled, though trying to hide his excitement. “Okay. Umm… you can get settled and rest until then though. Dinner won’t be for a few more hours.”

“Okay.”

“This is Lady Natasha,” the King pointed to a woman standing with two men off to the side. “She will make sure your stay here in Brooklyn is the best it can be.”

“Hello, Your Highness,” the red head stepped up, giving a curtsy. “It will be my genuine pleasure to help you during your stay here.”

“Thank you,” Y/N smiled.

“If there is anything you should need, don’t me afraid to ask Lady Natasha, myself, or my two right hands,” the King stated. Steve motioned for the two men to step closer. “This is my captain of the guards, Captain James Barnes.” 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Princess,” the Captain bowed, grabbing her hand for a kiss. “And you can call me Bucky. Captain Barnes is too formal.”

“Lady Natasha is the Captain’s wife. And this is Lord Samuel Wilson.” The second man stepped forward, repeating the same actions as the Captain. “He is in charge of basically everything else.”

“You can all me Sam,” Lord Wilson said. “And what the King means by basically everything else is that I teach him how to flirt.”

Y/N laughed. “Oh. Then, I’m sorry to say, Sam, that you are doing a terrible job.” 

Bucky let out a loud laugh, hitting Sam on his back. “I told you Sam. You aren’t that good at flirting. That’s why I’m the only one with a wife.”

“That’s enough,” the King said. Y/N looked at him with a sly smile, he was clearly embarrassed. “Lady Natasha will show you to your room. And I’ll pick you up from there for dinner.”

“Thank you, King Steven. I can’t wait to see more of your beautiful castle and kingdom.”

“I have no idea what to wear to the beach, Wanda,” Y/N said, concerned, as she looked through the dresses that had been packed for her.

“I have something, Your Highness,” Lady Natasha spoke up. “I not sure how it will fit. But we can try it.”

“I’m open to anything at this point, Lady Natasha.”

“I will go fetch it then. I will be right back, Princess.”

Natasha was back almost as soon as she came, with a blue and white dress in tow. It was simpler than the dresses that had been packed for Y/N, but it was still pretty. Natasha and Wanda changed the Princess into it, quickly, because Natasha said that she had been told the King was almost ready. Y/N couldn’t help but feel nervous as the time drew near. She didn’t know what the King would be like, or even what the sea water and sand would be like. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Wanda quickly answered it.

“Your Majesty,” Wanda greeted with a curtsy.

“Is the Princess ready?” King Steven’s voice asked from the hallway.

“I am,” Y/N answered, moving towards the open doorway.

“Great,” the King smiled, holding out his arm. “Shall we be on our way?”

“We shall.” Y/N walked out and headed down the hall, ignoring the King’s arm. 

The King sighed. “Will she ever forgive me?”

“She will,” Wanda replied. “It will just take time. The Princess… she just has trouble trusting people, that’s all. Just be patient, Your Majesty, and continue trying. She’ll come around eventually.”

“Thank you for the advice, Lady…”

“Wanda. You can just call me Wanda.”

“Well, thank you Wanda. For the advice. I must be off. The Princess has seemed to have gone off without directions of where to go.”

“Good luck, Your Majesty. And have fun.”

It didn’t take long for Steven to catch up to Y/N. She had stopped around the corner, fiddling with her hands as she waited. They walked to the outside staircase, that led to the beach, in silence. Steven didn’t know what to say, or where to even begin with the Princess. His mouth had already caused him so much trouble with her, he was afraid he’d do it again. As the ventured further down the stairs, the King heard the Princess gasp.

“What is it?” The King asked, worried that something was wrong.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, staring out to the sea. 

The sun was sitting just above the horizon. The sky was the brightest shade of orange she had ever seen. She looked down to see the waves crashing against the white sand. Y/N believed that she had never seen anything more beautiful in her entire life.

“It is,” the King said, smiling at her. “We must hurry though, if you want to watch the sunset from the beach.”

“Yes,” the Princess smiled.

The two hurried down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, Y/N stopped at the last step, staring at sand below. The King watched curious as to what she was going to do. She slowly set one of her feet down. It sank a bit, causing sand to flood into her shoe. She lifted it up, trying to shake the sand out of her shoe.

“Here,” Steven came up to her. “Sometimes it’s better to go barefoot.”

“Really?”

“Really. That way you can feel the sand between your toes and the waves come up over your feet.” The King knelt in front of her, looking up at her. “May I?” 

Y/N nodded, lifting her foot towards him. He carefully removed her shoe, setting it on the bottom step before gesturing for her to lift her other foot. He took that shoe off with the same delicacy as he did the first. After setting her other shoe to the side, the King stood up and held his hand out to Y/N.

“Come on,” he said, smiling at her. She carefully took the King’s hand, stepping down onto the sand.

“It’s so, soft,” she giggled, moving her feet around in the sand. “I love it!”

“I’m glad,” Steven chuckled.

The Princess looked down at his feet, which still had his boots on. “Will you not join me, Your Majesty?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

The King sat down and pulled his boots and socks off quickly. The two of them set towards the water. When they weren’t too far from the shore line, the Princess started running towards the water. She knew that it was improper but she didn’t care. King Steven simply smiled as he watched Y/N reach the shore line and step into the water. Y/N laughed as the waves rolled up over her feet. 

“This is wonderful,” she said.

“It is isn’t it?” Steven said, coming up beside her. “Sometimes I take it for granted.”

“If I lived here, I would make sure that I visited the beach at least once a day.”

“Maybe I should take you up on that.” Y/N looked at Steven, curious. “While you’re here, you visit the beach once a day and I join you.”

“I can’t visit it more than once?”

Steven chuckled. “I didn’t mean it like that. You can visit here as much as you would like. I just meant that at least for one of those visits, you let me accompany you. Would that be okay?”

“It’s your kingdom, Your Majesty. You can accompany whenever you please.”

“Yes, you’re correct that it is my kingdom. But you are my guest, and I do not want to push boundaries.”

“I think it would be okay if you were to accompany me at least once a day. I think I could handle that, as long as we’re out here.”

“It’s a deal then?”

“It’s a deal.”

next chapter >

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