#this is brought on by me finally letting myself get back into smth i loved for like 5-6 years

[certified-anakinfucker]

ok this is unprompted but if you pride yourself on being the reason people leave a space for something they genuinely love and have done no objective wrong - youre a piece of shit btw. like full send youre horrible.

[itsmealaiah]

okay girl here’s a req

can you do 2008tom x reader smut? where reader’s parents invited them for a family dinner and when they sat at the table tom kept rubbing reader’s thighs almost squeezing them,also when reader was playing with her niece and nephew tom kept whispering in her ear abt having a kid but soon they ended up making out in the bathroom

sorry if it’s a lot,if you’re comfortable can you do smth like this?🫶🏼

-love ya🤭💗

eee baby fever is so real rn

Sneaking away

tags/ warnings: making out, tom having baby fever, hidden breeding kink? p in v, cursing

MDNI ⚠️

a/n: thank you bb i love you!!

summary: seeing you interact so greatly with kids really gets tom going, even at a family function

Your POV:

Me and tom had been invited to my parent's house for dinner tonight, and I was so excited for him to finally meet my family and for them to meet him, but all throughout the meal, he wouldn't ease up, being touchy in front of my family, where someone could so easily spot what he was doing, and he'd never be allowed over ever again. His hands continuously grazed my thighs, hiking up my dress so he could rest his cold hands on the skin.

It felt quite nice, to be truthful, but not appropriate, especially when children are around. I slapped his hands away, and he pouted, a frown creasing his lips. He didn't stop however, oh no, because he went right back to his fucking intolerable acts, squeezing my thighs, leaving small little marks denting the skin. I was being overdramatic, obviously, but he needed to take a hint.

"Tom" I whisper-yelled in his ear, and he perked up, still not removing his hands, making me growl lowly in annoyance. "remove your hands or we're gonna have a problem!" I asserted, but he ignored my demands. I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. I couldn't deny, again, that it was quite pleasurable.

My niece made her way over to me, her little hands grabbing at the silk hem of my dress, begging to be picked up. "Hi N/n!" I cooed, placing her on my lap. (N/n means niece name/ Ne/n means nephew name; i made up the 2nd so they aren't the same hope that helps 😭) "How are you?" I asked in a babyish, silly voice, and she smiled. "Go-good" she babbled, looking over at tom, curious who he was. I caught her gaze, and pointed him out, letting her know he was okay, that he wouldn't harm her. "That's mister tom! Can you say hi?" I babbled in a slightly high-pitched voice. "Hi-hi!" she greeted, and tom smiled. "hello there n/n" he laughed, taking her from my arms.

I watched as they interacted. Tom seemed quite..infatuated with her, like he already loved her, wanted to hold her forever. He had never brought up children, let alone having them before, I wondered. Did he- did he want one?

I let myself get lost in thought, until tom dragged me over to the family room, where the TV was placed. It felt incredibly nostalgic to be back, after so many months away. Tom was occupied with n/n, while my nephew made his way over to me, and tom didn't let him leave his sight. He scooted closer to me as I tickled Ne/n, his laughtr contagious as n/n now wanted a piece. "You really must like kids, huh?" Tom whispered into my ear, and I gasped, my motions coming to a halt, as Ne/n whined, the laughter subsiding. He left a gentle kiss on the nape of my neck, and a moan almost escaped my lips, but I held it back.

I picked Ne/n upright, and began to tickle n/n, her small body convulsing with joy as she lay on the carpet, squirming around, small begs and pleas coming from her mouth, making me laugh. Tom's hot breath coated my ear, as I tried not to let it distract me away from my niece and having a good time with her, but he had other plans. "you'd be a perfect mother" he whispers, catching me off guard, as I come to a complete stop once again, disappointing my younger relative. I sighed, as his arms wrapped around the front of my stomach, thumbs tracing small little circles over my dress, relieving my pent up anger. "Hey hey hey" he whispers once again. "let's go to the bathroom, yeah? take some time to cool down" he offers, and I sigh, getting up with him.

I guide him to one of the two bathrooms, leading him upstairs so we can have more privacy, and lock the door behind us. "so what now?' I heave, leaning back onto the sink. "Thank fuck I got you alone" he mumurs, lips attacking my own possesively, making me moan into his mouth as he grins. "Mm, taste so sweet baby" he growls, hitching my dress up once more, sitting me on the counter. "Seeing you with those kids was so hot liebe, might want to fill you up with one of my own" he says, voice low. My eyes widen, slightly cringing at his words, but leaning into the kiss again, my arms cinching around his neck, his hands groping my waist tightly.

"So, so hot" he says gently against my lips, his hands leaving my hips, and rising up to my dress straps, slowly sliding them downwards, revealing my bare chest to his hungry, lustful gaze. I whimper, my hands pulling at his dreads, begging for him to do something, anything. He obliges, lips wrapping around my breast, taking it whole in his mouth, letting his tongue swirl and run over the soft, wet skin. I moan, my head falling back in pleasure as his hand finds my other each though his eyes are closed, and kneads it between his fingers, rolling the perky flesh around.

"Need to feel you" He groans, his actions stopping as he unbuttons his heavily baggy jeans, the tent in his pants incredibly visible, making me gasp. "See what you do to me? teasing me with those kids?" he asks, biting my earlobe, tugging at the skin. He takes his time with me, kissing my lips, tongue seeking entrance into my mouth, and once I grant it, he goes insane. "Gonna fill you up, having you walk around with my baby, you hear me?" he demands, and I nod fearfully. "Good fucking girl" His boxers are slipped off, only his shirt left, but soon that is gone, his hands making quick work of it.

He pulls what's left of my dress down, only a pair of lacy panties left, and he digs his thumbs into the sides, dragging them down agonizingly slow, to tease me. "Hurry up" I whine, and he brings a finger to my lips. "patience baby, don't worry" he reassures me. Soon enough, i'm fully naked, just like him, in my parent's upstairs bathroom, probably ruining this counter for generations to come. He lines himself up with my wet hole, feeling how turned on I am just by his simple words and actions. "Oh!" I moan. "hurts a little" I whimper, and he strokes my hair lovingly. "Only for a second my dear, then it goes away, like always, okay?" He promises, and I believe him.

He slips in and out once i'm semi-used to it, being as gentle as he can since he knows how fragile I am, how fragile my body is. Everytime I wince, or my eyes shut, he whispers small words of praise, such as "doing so well", or "you're being so good f'me" making me melt each time. When the pain finally fully subsides, he has not a single ounce of mercy for me, rocking my body back and forth, holding me in his grasp while I shake on the counter. "You want me to get you pregnant? fill you up all nice with my cum?" He growls, lips devouring my neck, sure to leave some type of mark, if not multiple. I nod, desperate for him.

"That's what I thought" he smirks. "Mm-ah!" I moaned, arching my back, feeling every ounce of pleasure coursing through me, my legs digging into his back, and he winced, letting up just a bit. "Please-ngh" i whimpered. "please what baby, begging for me? So desperate for me" he growled. The knot in my stomach soon formed, signaling I was close, and tom knew it too, and he whimpered. "Gonna cum baby, cum with me" he commanded, and I released, my juices coating his cock, as he twitched, his release taking him only mere second later, and I gasped.

"Gonna be such a good mom" he panted as he pulled out, his ropes of the white liquid spilling out. I pulled my dress back up, and he did the same, rushing out of the bathroom once he was fully ready, leaving me all alone.

Was i really ready to be a mom?

[realisticjupiter]

haihaii!! your profile has been like.... THERAPY to me bc the aib fixation is back AND ITS STRONG ESPECIALLY TOWARDS CHISHIYA 💔💔💔 i love the way u write as well !!

so with this could i request a touch starved chishiya... like a chishiya that needs readers attention so bad but is too embarrassed to downright tell them "I WANT CUDDLES" or smth... still he does everything in his power to get readers attention atp the only thing left is to just BEG

also could i be 🎶 anon ? i picture myself being very active here from now on... have a nice day!!

Summary: Chishiya can't sleep without you.

Genre: Fluffy

Pairing: Chishiya x gn!reader

Warnings: None! :)

Word count: 784

a/n: Aghhhh i hope this is okay!!!!! That is actually so sweet of you, I'm so glad you've liked my account!!!<3 And ofc you can claim an emoji, hello 🎶!!

Chishiya tried everything to get you into bed with him. He tried seducing you, gaslighting you, and of course his manipulation tactics didn't work either.

All you were focused on was trying to fix the phone from last night's game. It was still on, so you thought it would be easier to get into before it powered off.

Every time he'd call your name, you'd brush him off. Mostly because he always used a certain tone of voice you've become far too familiar with when he tries to get what he wants.

All he wanted to do was kneel at your feet to tell you exactly what he wanted. To tell you he just wanted you to hold him, to tell you all he needed was your attention.

But he couldn't. He never has been able to ask for help, or ask for anything without feeling vulnerable for that matter. He was closed off, that's what people knew about him; that he didn't show those types of emotions in fear of being belittled.

Chishiya could feel his eyelids getting heavy and his eyes burning from keeping them open, but he knew no matter how hard he would toss and turn; he wouldn't be able to sleep without you.

It was pathetic, he'd admit that. It was a loop he found himself getting stuck into, and found there was no way out of it. He hid it pretty well, though. Through late nights where you'd fall asleep alone and wake up to him beside you. You truly had no idea he struggled so much.

He was so tired. He'd do anything if you'd just stop and sleep already.

And he found his last option, the one thing he dreaded the most.

"Y/n?" Chishiya whispered, his voice husky as he climbed out of bed and walked towards you with slow steps.

"What?" You hummed in response, never peeling your eyes away from the task at hand.

"Please," He spoke underneath his breath in an almost incoherent whisper as he stopped to stand beside the chair you sat in.

"I don't know what you want, Chishiya. No one is keeping you awake." You sighed, watching from the corner of your eye as he stood by your side, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"You're keeping me awake." He murmured, watching your hands as they played around with the device's motherboard.

"How?" You said in defeat, finally turning your attention to him. You looked up at him with your hands thrown in your lap, clearly waiting for his response.

He let out a huff as he looked around the room; avoiding eye contact. When he finally looked at you, his eyes were soft and glassed over.

His next sentence was incoherent.

"What?"

[inaudible]

"Chishiya. Speak up, please." Your words were soft as you stood up from your seat, placing your hands on his upper arms.

"I can't sleep without you." He finally spoke, his words finally registering in your mind.

When he realized you had finally heard him, he felt like he could say anything. And with his new found confidence he continued to speak.

"Why is it so hard to ask you to touch me?" He breathed, letting his head fall onto your shoulder.

You smiled at his soft demeanour. You knew how hard it must've been for him to admit something so close to himself, especially since it was about you. You've found a new side of Chishiya you haven't seen before.

You brought a hand to comb through his hair as the other scratched up and down his bare back, "I'm sorry, Chishiya. I should've just read your mind." You whispered against his shoulder as you held him close to your body.

Your words were an obvious tease, trying to humor the situation at hand. Which did make Chishiya snicker.

"You should have. You've always been able to." He muttered, wrapping his arms lazily around you.

You smiled warmly as he spoke, pulling away to drag his hand towards the bed. You climbed in with him closely behind you. He waited for you to get comfortable, before he joined you under the covers to tangle his limbs with yours.

"I'm proud of you, Chishiya." Your sultry breath hit his forehead as you mumbled against his skin.

He stared down at the way your bodies fit together, processing your words with a smile he knew you couldn't see.

"Now go to sleep, 'm here." You spoke once more into his skin, kissing his forehead and massaging your fingers into his scalp.

His cold fingers danced around your bare skin, trying to bring himself impossibly closer to you before his body fell limp into a night's sleep.

reposts and comments are appreciated <3

[fallingdownhell]

Going with the theme of your recent 2 fics, can i request lighthearted/silly fic of diluc x reader in which he forgot your birthday but you also forgot about it and you both dont realize until someone asks what your plans are for the day or smth lmaoo

I see you xD of course I can do that!

Pairing: Diluc x reader

Content: gender neutral reader; not really anything specific, should be safe; not proofread yet!

Word count: 1,1k words

Please enjoy!

It was finally here.. the day your boyfriend had dreaded so much finally arrived..

Today, he would have to attend an official event alongside the knights of Favonius, within their headquarters.

And since Dawn Winery was providing the drinks for the event, and Diluc was the Master of the Winery, it was required for him to attend as well, to represent his work.

You knew that he really wasn't looking forward to this. He had complained about it almost daily for the last few weeks, and it only got worse the closer the event came.

Now, as he was getting dressed to attend, he almost looked lifeless, already bored out of his mind.

"I know a thousand other things I would love to do rather than this.", he complained as you helped him organize the last few details of his attire.

You smiled, still concentrating on his clothes, but asked nonetheless. "Oh really? Like what?" Your tone was teasing, but Diluc payed no mind to that.

Instead, he leaned down to you, grabbing your chin as he held eye contact with you.

"Wouldn't you like to know.."

Then, he closed the distance and placed a soft kiss on your lips. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss as you wrapped your hands around his neck and deepened the kiss like this.

But before things could get too heated, he parted from you again. You were both catching your breath as an idea came into your mind and you had to refrain from slapping yourself on the forehead. How come you hadn't thought of that sooner?

"Say, Diluc.. how about I accompany you? So you don't have to be all on your own there."

He looked at you for a second, eyes wide like he had the same thought you just had. Why didn't he think of that sooner?

"I would love that, darling."

So, you quickly scanned through your closet, trying to find the right clothes for the occaision.

After picking out an outfit and getting ready, Diluc took you hand in his as you set out on your way, getting seen off by the staff of the winery, wishing you lots of fun.

And you really thought, that with Diluc there, this could actually turn out pretty funny.

You both walked the familiar road to Mondstadt, conversing the entire way there, with a bit of teasing here and there from both of you.

At one point, Diluc even leaned down to whisper compliments about your appearance into your ear, making you blush.

"You look absolutely breathtaking."

"This outfit really compliments you."

"I wish I could just pull it iff you right now."

All those words brought a blush to your cheeks and ears, and every time, you would lightly hit hin on his arm, making him laugh at your cute reaction.

Soon enough, you arrived at the gates of Mondstadt, the guards recognizing you both and letting you pass with no issue.

Only a short walk after, you saw Kaeya standing by the fountain. He noticed you two and walked over.

You smiled as you greeted him, yet Diluc had returned to his usual stoic expression when approached by the man.

"Ah, Diluc. Glad to see you made it here safely. And you even brought company. It's a pleasure to see you, (Name)."

Saying that, Kaeya took your hand and placed a quick kiss to the back of your hand, but quickly let go of you again as he saw Diluc's piercing glare directed at him.

"It's nice to see you too, Kaeya. We haven't seen each other in a while. How have you been?", you tried to stay calm, gently squeezing Diluc's hand that was still holding yours, reminding him to stay civil.

"Oh, you know, the usual. I'm doing quite well for myself. Ah, but that reminds me..", he trailed off as he looked around. It seemed like he was searching for something or someone, but didn't seem to find it. He just sighed.

Then, he took your free hand again, this time ignoring the glare Diluc threw at him.

"Happy Birthday, (Name). Thank you for participatikg today, even though the event fell on your special day. Still, I wish you all the best."

You were taken aback by Kaeya's words.

Birthday? You? No, that couldn't be..

It was today??

Shocked, you looked at Diluc next to you, who wore the same expression as you. Seeing as you had the same reaction as him, it took a few seconds, but then you both burst out laughing.

Confused, Kaeya looked between the both of you. Did he say something wrong? He didn't mistake the day, right?

Meanwhile, you were still laughing so hard that your stomach started to hurt. You held it with your free hand, trying to calm yourself down again to catch your breath.

"And what's so funny about that?", Kaeya asked, clearly not amused about this reaction.

"We forgot!", you said, still trying to breath properly again.

Baffled, Kaeya looked over at Diluc, who was covering his mouth, but his eyes still betrayed that he was laughing as well. Dilic just nodded, confirming that he had forgotten about it as well.

There has been so much going on for the both of you that it simply slioped your minds. Once calmed down again, Diluc turned to you, gently taking your face in his hand.

"Is it too late to congratulate you now?"

"It's never too late for that.", you said as you gently placed a hand over his, closing your eyes as he leaned down to kiss you. You return the kiss, completely forgetting about the world around you.

As you both separated again, Diluc still held your face, holding your gaze. "Happy birthday, (Name). I thank the Archons every day that you were born and for bringing you into my life."

You smiled and were about to pull Diluc into another kiss when an awkward laugh sounded from next to you guys. Suddenly, you remember that Kaeya was still there and that you were here for a reason.

Awkwardly, you separated from Diluc as you both followed Kaeya the the headquarters of the Knights. Along the way, you felt a gentle squeeze on the hand Diluc was holding, making you look at him.

It didn't matter to you that he forgot about your birthday. All that matters was for you to be in his life and to know that he loved you, entirely. That was the greatest gift you have ever recieved in this life and nothing could top that, anyways.

[mystic-headcanons]

hihi :3 i love your writing n i literally stay up til late reading your work, it’s sooo cute >< i’ve been having hard days at work so they cheer me up a lot!!

i was wondering if i could make a req please? basically, mc comes home from work TIRED and saeyoung pampers them!!! i would love if u include writing smth along the lines of him taking off mc’s makeup too, only if u can ofc!!

thank u sososo much <3 i appreciate u so much

thank u !!! i’m rly glad they can cheer u up and i hope ur work days get better <3 i’m in food service so i know how rough it gets and esp around the holidays. i hope u enjoy !!! <3

-

there’s two different types of exhaustion. there’s just normal exhausted, where keeping your eyes open feels like a herculean task and you can’t stop counting down the minutes until you’re finally home, and then there’s exhausted exhausted, where it seeps into your bones and burrows down, down, deep into your core. where your head is filled with cotton and all you can do is stare blankly ahead of you, unable to register anything. saeyoung is intimately familiar with the latter one, with spending long days and longer nights working for the agency, and then the hacker that had threatened the rfa.

it was late when you finally came home. you didn’t say a word to saeyoung when he’d asked about your day, didn’t spare a second glance to saeran when he’s walked into the kitchen, and instead just trudged up the stairs. “they seem worn out.” saeran commented with a frown, and saeyoung nodded in agreement. if there was one thing that could make saeran drop his tough act, it was you. (and oh, that was such a lovely thing for saeyoung to witness. truly, there is not one person he can think of who is immune to his charms. seeing his future spouse and brother get along was everything to saeyoung.) without a second thought, saeyoung picked up a bowl of whatever he had been attempting to cook and followed you up the stairs.

you didn't even look up when he came into the room. you were laying on the bed with your eyes shut, still in your work clothes. "long day?" saeyoung asked, sympathy in his voice. you didn't say anything, only nodded your head. he made his way over to the bed and sat down next to you; the pressure made you finally open your eyes. "here," he quietly said, "i brought you dinner." saeyoung held the bowl out to you, but you shook your head. "too tired." you mumbled, your eyes slipping back shut. "nope. you've still gotta eat." he said, gently nudging you. at his insistence, you slowly sat up and stifled a yawn as you did so. when you reached for the bowl, however, saeyoung shook his head and lifted the fork to your lips. "i'll feed you." he said, giving you a soft smile. "saeyoung, i can feed myself." the thought of him feeding you-- like you were an infant, or incapable, was enough to bring an embarrassed flush to your cheeks. "i know." was all saeyoung said, and he lifted an eyebrow as he waited for you to eat. how many times had you taken care of saeyoung when he felt too exhausted to even breathe? when he was simply incapable of doing anything for himself? the answer was: too many times for saeyoung to keep count. it was his turn to take care of you.

once the food was gone and saeyoung was satisfied with how much you ate, he took your hands in his and gently tugged you off the bed. "come on. let's get you washed up and take off the makeup and then we can go to bed." he softly said, leading you to the bathroom. saeyoung helped you out of your work clothes and into the bathtub that was filled with hot water. saeyoung's hands were gentle as he washed over your body, as he massaged the shampoo and then the conditioner into your hair, as he kept running his fingers through the strands and gently combing them. it was the type of softness that had tears springing to your eyes-- being treated so gently, like you're something precious and breakable, was something you weren't really used to.

it felt like hours, (in reality it was only minutes), until you were finally out of the bath. saeyoung had been the one to dry you off, to dress you in his shirt and a pair of his sweatpants because you had always found comfort in his clothes, in him. he gave a low chuckle as you were literally swaying on your feet, and he reached out to steady you. "i know, i know. but we're almost done." saeyoung murmured, grabbing your makeup wipes. he slowly began to wipe your makeup off- all the eyeshadow, the smudged eyeliner, the mascara that had ended up under your eyes, the foundation that had been mostly sweat off, the concealer, the contour. he used a few more wipes to ensure that he got everything, and then grabbed your facial cleanser and used that. you had a whole routine to clean your face that saeyoung wasn't about to go through, but he knew you'd kill him if he didn't at least use the cleanser.

once your face was cleaned and clear of any makeup, and the two of you had brushed your teeth, you were finally in bed and curled around saeyoung. "thank you." you quietly murmured, turning your head to press a kiss to the bottom part of his jaw. "you don't have to thank me. you've done the exact same thing for me many, many times before. besides, i like caring for you." saeyoung whispered back, and he kissed the side of your head as you fell into a deep, deep sleep.

[chrisdrysdale]

oohh idk if you've written this one before, but maybe bucky somehow gets programmed into the ws and you 'turn' -idk what the right word is lol- back into himself. mb ending with cuddles or smth?

xx

Neck

+18 minors dni

just a drabble

The door swung open, smacking against the wall behind it, waking you up from your sleep. You look up to see a dark, big, figure standing in your door.

You can’t work out who it is until you hear the whirring of Bucky’s metal arm. “shit” you mumble under your breath, now knowing somehow Bucky has been triggered back into the winter soldier. You stand up from the bed but stay in the same spot. “Bucky?”

He quickly storms over to you, grabbing your neck and pinning you against a wall only by your metal arm. Your arms quickly went around his and tried to pull him off but couldn’t. He was staring you deep into your eyes. You could see your Bucky behind them, he wanted to be free but couldn’t.

Your mind was running a hundred miles an hour trying to think how to save him. Not even yourself. You remembered the way Bucky melts, a little spot behind his ear, if you scratch it, it makes him forget everything and just purr into you.

You slowly bring your hand from his and brought it up to behind his ear and gave it a light scratch. He finally blinked. His eyes quickly swelling up with tears and his arm releasing you from his grip. “fuck fuck fuck doll what did I do”

you dropped to the floor and began gasping for your breath. Once you got it you motioned for Bucky to sit down beside you, he did and you placed a hand on his back. “It’s okay, it wasn’t you” you rasped out.

“hate myself for it”

You turned to face him and kissed him “don’t baby, i still love you and that’s all that matters”

“baby your amazing, just want you to be safe with me”

“Are you kidding me! my fiancé is super solider i’m always safe”

He giggled and kissed your forehead “you’re amazing, c’mon let’s go back to bed”

-fin

[bluemojave]

W.I.P Wednesday (but super super late)

i was tagged aaaaages ago by my fantastic friends @adelaidedrubman @aceghosts @beautiful-delirium @derelictheretic to post works in progress (and last lines) and i’m finally actually writing again so i’ve got a lil smth new for y’all under the cut!!

also spoiler warning for an ending of Far Harbor in the first one even tho i know it’s been out forever just bc i only just played it myself lmao <3

To Nora - a small drabble-in-progress from the perspective of my W.I.P Fallout 4 oc

in the timeline of the game, this is right at the end of Far Harbor, with the main quest completed through Reunions and all of Nick’s associated quests done— so spoiler warning!!

I killed DiMA today.

Sure, not directly. I didn’t pull the trigger. But I told him to go. I said he had to tell Far Harbor, knowing what they’d do when they found out. And he did. And now he’s dead.

Nick hasn’t talked to me since it happened. It must’ve been a few hours by now, but he can’t seem to find it in him to leave his body out of eyesight on that dirty pier. At least Allen and the harbormen have the emotional intelligence to leave us alone, but I’m sure if Lee had it his way, he would’ve strung up that old synth on the barricade as a warning to the Fog. An eye for an eye, a life for a life— “nothing gets away with murder.” Though I’m not sure they ever thought synths were living in the first place.

So here I am, sitting in a rotting chair with a bottle of bourbon that tastes less like alcohol and more like gasoline, watching my best friend try and mourn the family he only just learned he had, all because of me. The air stinks, like it’s been tainted with the smell of rotted flesh consumed by the Fog and the Ocean from the people desperate enough to try to survive here.

DiMA was desperate too. But nature didn’t reclaim him. I did.

And now I don’t know why I ever wanted to in the first place. Is it because he told me I was a synth? Was it the realization that I’ve been walking around carrying another man’s face and life story on my shoulders like some stolen hand-me-down clothes? The fact that I couldn’t lie to myself any more about who I am, and what I’m not?

Was it because he forced that on other people too? Jules…the Captain…how are we supposed to live with ourselves when our entire existence was stripped away to just become an artificial copy of someone somebody else wanted us to be?

I made a mistake telling Jules. Not telling Avery is a mercy.

You know what’s kinda funny? I’ve been wearing Kellogg’s jacket since I killed him. There used to be a strange comfort in it, knowing that they were close to you when you died; knowing that the leather of these sleeves had held our baby; knowing that he couldn’t cause any more harm in it. But now it just feels dirty.

I am wearing the lives of two different men on my skin, and neither of them have ever truly been mine to take.

God, I feel nauseous.

It’s a sick kind of irony knowing that I could get revenge for losing you, but Valentine can’t. Or, he could— and hell, at this point I’d probably let him— but I know he never would.

I can’t sit here anymore. I’m taking a long walk and throwing this jacket off the goddamn pier.

I miss you. I love you.

And I’m sorry.

Apple — I’m re-writing the scene where Cain and Rei meet and having a rough time of it, but enjoy what i have so far :)

in which John is the whore we all know he is, and Jacob Seed gets cucked by an asexual lesbian and his younger brother LMAO

The good doctor found Deputy Cain Marshall with a cut across his hand in the back of a greenhouse, and she wasn’t sure whether to consider it luck or a curse.

Dr. Hawthorne was stationed here as a punishment from Father, that much they were sure of. The order that sent her away brought a redness to the eldest Seed’s face only matched by the fire that burned it— she could hear him yelling from half a mile away as the van escorted her out of the Whitetails. Figuring out what the punishment was for, however, seemed out of reach.

All of the other Seeds have had their…pets…from time to time. John practically had a harem of eager recruits circulating through his bed chambers, and Faith’s proclivity for flirtation had earned her many a notch in her belt in her time as the Seed’s beloved little sister. But somewhere along the line, Jacob made a mistake in choosing Rei, one that cost him his doctor and his dignity.

[fushigurro]

Ummm…if I may 👉👈, 🐇 for all your favs

omg, all my faves ?? 😳 WELP..... buckle up i guess!!!! gonna have to put this under a read more lmao it's way too long i've been working on it for hours 😭 i'm so delulu

🐇: how did the first time go? talk about it

w/ jean:

so we were kind of a slow burn acquaintances to friends to lovers during college thing (i helped tutor him in a class and we gradually got closer). so i think things were building up between us over time, and it eventually reached a point to where when we finally kissed each other, we just kept going. the spark was there and we didn’t wanna stop, and thankfully we were in my dorm room at the time 🫣 (i lived alone and he had a roommate—probably marco or connie or smth lol)

we started just pulling off clothes and feeling each other up because we knew what we both wanted. he still asked if it was okay before sliding into me for the first time, but i was just like “hell yes, i ain’t no virgin” LOL. the neighbors probably heard that rickety wooden twin XL bed frame hitting the wall, but what are ya gonna do 💔

the dick was bomb tho and the chemistry was there. we went raw because i had an IUD and we trusted each other (do not follow this example lmao). but that was basically the beginning of the relationship because we were just like yeah okay this is a definitely a thing now. not even jean’s (or my own) avoidant tendencies could deny that lol

w/ toji:

my first time with toji happened after he took me out for dinner and then brought me back to his place for a movie afterwards. like i’m not stupid i knew what was probably on his mind, but i decided to roll with it because hello??? he’s fucking hot as hell. he had me thinking with my pussy 😔

anyways, of course he’s the first to initiate things with an arm around the shoulder and a kiss, and once i reciprocate, things start getting hot and heavy. i end up in his lap with no shirt on, panties to the side, and two of his fingers inside me. he gets me to cum before promptly eating me out and then absolutely pounding me right there on the couch.

i’m essentially like “yeah fuck me til i can’t walk” but then when i see and feel how massive he actually is, my heart drops into my stomach LOL i’m immediately regretting it because he’s way too big 😩 he’s all like “you can take it, you can take it” and “thought you said you wanted it til you couldn’t walk?” being all mean to me n shit but then i cum and prove him right 😔

w/ satoru:

so i actually talked about this before right over here!!! essentially it was a bit of a mess at first because gojo’s cocky ass thought he was so fly when in reality he was just confirming how much of a loser he actually is. but it’s okay because i found it kind of hot and used it as an opportunity to show him that he has a few things to learn.

w/ megumi:

okay this one was tough because i can imagine so many scenarios for this lmao but honestly it's something where i see myself waiting for him to come to me. there's probably been a confession of feelings by that point but most things are not being rushed, because overall this whole realm of love and intimacy is new, difficult territory for him. i suspect that he's a virgin but i'm not 100% certain until things actually start to go down and he tells me.

regardless of when and where it happens, it's pretty soft. there are some chaste kisses, but he's the one that starts getting a little desperate and moving things in another direction. i let him sort of steer the whole thing because i don't want to end up outside his comfort zone, but there's eventually a point where i have to be like "is this something you want?" because he's doing his best but i can see that he's shaking and having a hard time getting to the point.

he powers through the nerves and gently puts me on my back because he thinks that's what he should do, but i have to help the poor thing put it in because he's so nervous 😭 and it doesn't last very long either because once he's inside, all it takes is a few strokes for him to bust LOL. but it's rly cute because he makes pretty noises and has shaky arms and gets so red afterwards that it's hard for him to try and be stoic. i give him a kiss and tell him it's okay <33333

w/ shoto:

my other inexperienced boi 🤧 he is sooooo fucking clueless (in the most adorable way i love him) so i imagine this isn't something that comes up until a little while after we've started legit dating and being a couple. similar to megumi, all of that alone is a learning curve without even adding sexual intimacy into the mix. but things between me and shoto are perhaps a bit more stabilized by that point so the communication and trust is a little easier to navigate.

long story short, he trusts me to guide him in this sort of situation. he knows that he's lacking in this area and isn't gonna try to pretend like he really understands what to do, so he wants me to show and teach him. it almost goes down sort of like a lesson, lol. but a very sexy one 😌

he learns all about kisses and touches and how it's okay to let out little noises when he enjoys something. i lay him on the bed and let him just watch as i ride him <333 he's got a surprising amount of self-control for a first-timer, but it still doesn't exactly last very long before he gets all red and squirmy and says he's gonna cum <3333

w/ denki:

i am lowkey SO indecisive about our lore rn because like.... we kind of give besties to lovers vibes but IDKKKKK. anyways, i think regardless of the specifics, it's the sort of thing that when it happens, it's just like "FINALLLLLYYYYYY!!! why did this not happen sooner" cue the fireworks and desperation. whatever video game we were playing at the time gets completely forgotten because we're sucking face and fumbling over each other to see who can successfully get their hands in the other's pants first.

i win btw!!! i get a hand around his cock but he's still begging for me to let him touch me and eat me out between gasps of pleasure. i can't really refuse because he's already getting on his knees and peeling off my clothes......

i'm surprised he has the tenacity for it tbh because he always struck me as the type to want to get it in immediately, but he shows me that i was wrong. we eventually take it to the bedroom and pound out all of our feelings, taking turns showing one another how much we actually care about and know each other.

w/ belphie:

answered right over here!

nsfw selfship questions

[lotus-flowerz]

hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa

AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<

i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3

TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES

SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS

KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS

The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.

It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.

These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.

You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"

You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.

"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."

His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.

One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.

He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

"Kazuha, it's not-"

"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kazuha."

You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.

Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.

It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.

Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.

Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.

Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.

"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"

The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.

"Alright doll, what happened just now?"

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"

Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.

"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."

"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.

You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.

"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.

You laughed. "Yeah, let's."

Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.

You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.

Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.

In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.

He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.

"You're scared of me."

"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"

"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."

"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"

"I'm listening."

You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.

"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."

"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."

He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.

"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."

You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.

"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."

"Night, prince/ess."

You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.

Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.

You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.

He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled/

You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Did he hit you??"

"I, um, didn't want to worry you."

"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."

Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.

"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"

"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."

"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."

"I don't want to cause trouble.."

"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."

"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

[bimboboylink]

(idk how to explain myself well, so if you need anything in more detail, just dm me <3)

!!WARNING!! the example leads to an <somewhat sexual> image, it's only to show you what I meant. Just wanna say that before u get jump scared with a random pic or smth TT

So m!reader and Gyomei (demon slayer) are like getting all kinky in the morning, which somehow led to m!reader's kinky side to come out. The next thing Gyomei knows, he's tied up against the wall (example) and before m!reader could do anything, he gets called for a mission or something, so he leaves Gyomei with vibrators everywhere (nipples, his tip, prostate) and a dildo to keep him stimulated for when he came back.

M!reader mission turned out to be a long one. And now it's nighttime when he finished 😭. When m!reader returns home to say sorry or something, he finds Gyomei laying on the ground, covered in cum, twitching for more :D (dude on the floor bc Mr.beefy here broke out of the ropes <3)

Thank you! :D

I'm very excited to write this, I love Gyomei!

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TT

I upped the BDSM just to kinda match how you described it better, and because I add my own kinks to my fics just for a lil' self indulgence >:]

--

Warnings NSFW: Bondage/BDSM, Toys, Torture, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Teasing, Sensory Deprivation, Mind-Break, Some Size Kink, Mini Sir Kink

Reader: Male Reader

Pairing: Gyomei X Male Reader

Relationship: M/M

Title: Left Alone

It was early in the morning, the birds chirping outside the couple's estate. However, birds weren't the only sounds heard from outside, the two were moaning as they both pumped their lengths.

Gyomei's larger body being slightly slumped over yours as he stroked his length, you stroking your own.

You moaned loudly for him, knowing how much it riled him up. Gyomei himself was letting out gaspy, raspy moans as he masturbated in front of you, the sight only making you get closer to your own release.

"God, darling, mouse, please. Please cum with me"

The way he softly begged, but it seemed demanding at the same time, it all brought you closer to the edge.

You held your hips up so your cocks were touching, Gyomei's hand quickly wrapping around yours as he pumped both lengths.

"Yes sir"

Both of you were shouting at this point as you let out moans, both quickly coming to their releases, the liquid dripping down their connected lengths, Gyomei's hand, and down onto your stomach.

Gyomei sat up properly, not leaning over you anymore as you also sat up. Gyomei looking a little dazed as he smiled softly at you.

"Can we have more fun?"

The question itself out of context would have sounded innocent, but the way his length was already hardening again and he looked at you longingly, it was clear what the intention was.

You smiled at him and caressed his thigh as a yes before kissing him passionately.

"Of course baby, let me get the toys"

Gyomei nods as he sits patiently, waiting for you after pulling from the kiss. You got up and grabbed some rope, quite a few vibrators, a spare katana with the scabbard still on, a silk length of fabric, a dildo, and a bottle of lube.

Gyomei felt as you sat down on your shared futon behind him, tapping his shoulders and moving his arms softly to go above his head holding each wrist to the sheathed katana, wrapping the rope onto a ceiling fixture so his hands and the katana would stay in the air.

You grabbed the extra rope and wrapped it down his body, focusing more as you wrapped it around his chest and thighs, both physical features distracting you. You finally finished wrapping him in the rope, smiling at your work. (example)

You hummed, wrapping the length of silk around your lover's mouth, loose enough so he could still talk a bit.

You grab the bullet vibrators, and smirk as you place each against his most enjoyable spots, both his nipples, and the tip of his dick. You lube up two(2) of your fingers and the last bullet vibrator to push into Gyomei, teasing him a bit with your fingers before pulling them out.

You smile at your lover before finally grabbing the dildo, tapping Gyomei's ass to let him know what you're doing.

You lubed up the dildo, using quite a bit and slowly pushed it into Gyomei, your length twitching at the moans he made as you did so.

You switched to sitting in front of him and smiled as you caressed his face softly, letting him know you were still there as if he couldn't sense you from his years of training.

Just as you were about to say something, you could hear your crow yelling as it circled your shared estate, yelling about how you were to be sent out onto a mission.

You sighed in distaste before softly kissing Gyomei's cloth covered lips, whispering that you'd be back within a few hours.

He smiled and nodded, willing to be patient despite the constant torture on his erogenous zones.

You got dressed, ignoring the pain in your unbothered crotch as you kissed Gyomei goodbye, saying you'd be back as you left, closing the door to your shared room before properly leaving with your uniform on, katana on your hip.

-Hours later brought to you by the fact that your author has the flu-

It was now nighttime, the sun having set an hour before you even thought about leaving from your journey, you were now heavily worried about your husband, hoping he was okay.

As soon as you saw the land of your estate, you quickly run to your shares room, quickly opening the door, the sight making you gasp.

Gyomei was there, rope broken and snaped, on the floor, covered in his own cum sweat and tears. He was dazed, fucked out as his body twitched.

Your boner from hours ago suddenly came back, stronger. You quickly stepped in and slammed the sliding door shut. The noise gained Gyomei's attention as he looked in you direction, tears still falling down his face, drooling dripping down his chin.

"Are you okay honey? I'm so sorry for being gone for so long."

You got on your knees, squatting as you pet Gyomei's head, humming and kissing his forehead as he clinged to you, his hands quickly grasped at your crotch, still in sub space as he whined making quick work of your pants.

You groaned as his hands started to jerk you off, smiling down at him as you pet his hair, his sweat soaking it as he nuzzled into your hand and crotch.

You picked him up the best you could and made sure he could at least sit up stable enough to look at you. You smiled softly at him and kissed him softly, not wanting to overstimulate him more than he already was from before.

He quickly kissed back, desperate as he tried to grind his crotch against the still turned-on vibrator, his whole-body trembling, shaking in pleasure.

"Shh-shh, I'm sorry baby, let's get these vibrators off of you, then we can take a nice bath."

Gyomei quickly shakes his head as his large hands cover his nipples, moaning loudly as his hands touch his nipples, his cock shaking in a dry orgasm, drawing a blank.

You try not to laugh at him as you gently grab his hands, removing them from his chest as you lean in and remove the vibrators, kissing his nipples softly as he moans out.

"P-Please, touch, please"

The little words he could get out before moaning from the little touches and kisses you gave him. You thought it was adorable how broken his mind seemed just from a few hours of overstimulation, even though he went through the many tortures that was demon fights and the training for those.

"I'll gladly touch you baby"

--

That's all you get for now, I will make a part two(2) but this is legit getting so mfing long.

I hope you enjoyed this long ass fanfic! I enjoyed writing it, and I think it's the longest fic I've written in 2 days.

[sapphosvioletts]

Frustrated

Natasha Romanoff x Autistic Daughter reader

Request: could i please request a mama!nat x autistic!daughter!reader where r is really frustrated cause shes nonverbal and cant explain smth so she starts to injure stim but nat stops and helps and fluffy ending?

Word count: 1,050

Warnings: description of overload/shutdown and mentions of self injury

Note: Not every autistic person experiences autism the same. I'm autistic and I am writing from my perspective of how I personally experience autism, but not everyone feels the same as me or has the same perspective as I do.

.oOo.

I knew from the moment I woke up that it was a bad day. My clothes were too scratchy on my skin, and even after changing into multiple different shirts, none of them felt right. So I'm stuck in just my sports bra and no shirt. My baby hairs felt like they were crawling on the back of my neck, and the notifications from my phone ringed painfully in my ears. Everything just felt so overwhelming today.

I have no energy do really do anything, it feels like I'm exhausted just from all of the sensations and overstimulation I'm feeling. But eventually I got too restless and uncomfortable just laying in my bed, so I finally got up for the day.

From the smell of the coffee coming from the kitchen, I know that my mom is awake. I pad down the hallway into the kitchen and find her sitting at the table with a mug of coffee and a plate of toast. She looks up and smiles at me once she sees me. I try to give her my best smile back.

"Good morning honey" she says sweetly. I come around and hug her waist, leaning my head on her shoulder. She kisses the top of my head and rubs my back.

She slides over my black coffee chiller, which is filled with coffee already. I smile at her thoughtfulness and and take it from her, although drinking or eating anything at the moment makes my stomach turn.

I take a seat next on the bar stool next to her and take a sip of my coffee, trying to enjoy it even though my body is repulsed by it today. I usually love coffee, just like my mom, but today I just have no appetite. Even my same foods sound gross.

"Do you want me to make you some oatmeal? or Yogurt?" She can tell I'm not at my best today, so she's trying to help the best she can. She understands that my executive dysfunction can make is difficult to do simple things, so she's more than willing to help me out.

I shake my head at the offer, feeling repulsed by what are usually my same foods. She gives me a concerned look, but still remains gentle with me. "Do you want something else?" I purse my lips and shake my head no. "Okay... but can you try eating something soon? You can't take your meds on an empty stomach."

I feel tears come to my eyes and a lump in my throat. I just can't eat today, it's too much. Natasha immediately rushes to my side at seeing my tears. She pulls me into her chest and lets me cry, rocking us side to side in an attempt to calm me. She feels guilty, but she also knows that rushing to apologize hysterically will only overwhelm me even more.

When I'm finally calmed down a bit, she patiently waits for me to communicate what I need. I open my mouth to talk, but it feels as if something is restricting my throat. And honestly, just the thought of verbally speaking seems like it takes so much energy, energy that I don't have.

I sigh in frustration and my hand hits against my leg. Natasha holds me tighter against her, giving me the pressure that always calms me. I try again, "I- I cant." Is all I manage to get out. It's vague, and doesn't help Natasha much. "You can't what, honey. Speak?" I shake my head, but then freeze and nod. Because yes, I can't speak. But that's not what I'm trying to say.

I huff and shake my head, trying to speak again but not being able to. I feel tears make their way down my cheeks again. My hand tries to come up to hit myself, a stim I do when I'm frustrated.

Natasha softly caught my hand before I could hit myself, and brought it down to my thigh. She rubbed her thumb over my knuckles, before holding onto my hand. She lets me stim with the rings on her fingers. She never wants me to ashamed or made to feel like I can't stim around her, but she also doesn't want me to injure myself either. So, she instead offers another, safer stim instead.

She knows that trying to get me to stop stimming can be more harmful than self injurious stims, and she's promised to never stop me. She knows to instead give me other stims, not taking it away from me completely, since it's my coping mechanism.

She reaches over the table to my notepad and pen, which I have multiple of around the house and in every bag, both her bags and mine. When I'm nonverbal, instead of forcing me to speak, she provides other ways of communication. I usually prefer writing, so we have tons of notepads and pens laying around the house.

She hands the notepad and pen to me and backs off just enough so I can write. I go to a new line on the paper, the other lines being filled of previous conversation from another day when I was nonverbal. I write simply, "Can't eat, feels gross."

I then add on, knowing she probably needs more. "It's a bad sensory day today. I don't have an appetite and even thinking about food makes me gag." She reads my note carefully and understanding washes over her.

"That's okay baby, I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you before. That's completely understandable. Here, what if I make you a smoothie and we can try that, hm? You don't need to drink it if you don't want to." I think about it for a moment, before hesitantly nodding. I guess I can try. It doesn't sound as terrible as actual food does.

I watch as Natasha moves around the kitchen, pulling out all of the frozen fruit and milk. She's always so caring and generous, and I can't help but get stuck in my thoughts while watching her. I don't think I've ever had anyone as accommodating and genuine as Natasha, and I honestly wish I could just give her the world sometimes.

And like she has told me multiple times, she wishes the same for me as well.

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

[revengeisourlullaby]

If I Never Knew You Pt.1

Pt.2   Pt.3   Pt.4   Pt.5   Pt.6

Warnings: 18+, eventual smut, arranged marriage plot, kinda royal au, some fighting, secret relationship, angst.

a/n: This is going to be a six part series. I’ve never done a series before, but I write so much anyway I thought why not make one. I’ll probably upload each part daily unless there is demand for them to come faster. I hope you enjoy. Requests/asks will be open if you wanna send smth to me! Although I will admit I am kinda slow in finishing requests. I have a lot to balance in my life so my apologies if I don’t get to them immediately!  

Word count: 1.8K

Loki x female!reader 

The sun shone through the window of your home, the golden rays warming up your cheeks and waking you from your slumber. Sitting up, you stretched, feeling the sleep vibrate out of your body. Tossing the sheets off your body, you swung your legs out of the bed and walked to the bathroom to begin your morning routine. Finishing with tending to the mass of hair on your head you trailed back into your bedroom to change into clothes appropriate for the day. An array of dresses always leaving you indecisive about what to wear.

Settling on an olive green one you walked towards the mirror and fastened the ties around the back of your neck. The loose sleeves draped over your shoulders, cascading down your back, and gold accents adorning the neckline. Finding your shoes, you slipped out of your bedroom, closing the door behind you, and walked down the hallway, the chatter of your family becoming more clear as you near the entrance of the main room. 

 “Good morning, mother. Father.”

It seemed you had slept in quite a bit, given your parents already eating breakfast. Your mother piped up

“There’s a portion left for you on the counter, my dear.”

Eying the food you decided you weren’t all that hungry yet. You had just woken up and your body had yet to settle. Declining, you grabbed your satchel and began to walk towards the door.

“But Y/N, you should really eat something before starting your day.”

“I’ll be fine, Mom. I promise. I’m just not that hungry right now. I’ll eat when I get back.”

Finally reaching the door, your father chimed in,

“You know, Y/N, just because you try to avoid the obvious, doesn’t mean it’s going to go away any sooner.”

Dropping your head, you sighed. You couldn’t seem to escape the duties of being a young woman in a world where royal obligations were something you were expected to partake in. Upon reaching the age of 18, you were supposed to be on the lookout for a decent suitor of a husband. The fact of the matter was, you were now approaching 22 and had yet to find someone acceptable, not only by your standards but by your parents. 

For this uniting of peoples would also be a uniting of families. You had until your 21st birthday to find a man suitable to everyone's liking and if you didn’t, arranged marriage was the next option. No one wanted to be known as the woman in Asgard who couldn’t get a man to offer his hand in marriage, yet here you were in all your glory. It was frustrating. 

If only they knew. 

“I know, Dad. Things are a little bit harder when I have to seek my parents' approval for my marriage.”

Your tone became short, frustrated at the entire situation. You already had someone, for a while now actually, but you hadn’t the guts to inform your parents because you knew they would shut him down. So you loved in silence. It was more than painful, not being able to be truly open with your lover, but you had yet to find the right time to pour out your heart to your family. Taking a deep breath, your grounded yourself and turned towards the door,

“I’ll be back later, I love you.”

Your mom got to responding before your father did,

“We love you too dear. Make sure to pay attention to who you’re around. Be safe.”

Smiling lightly you finally walked out the door and stepped into the fresh air that was Asgard. It never got old. The scent of the trees and freshwater that surrounded this place sent one into such serenity. Just being outside could allow your mind to drift elsewhere and forget about the troubles in your life. Walking as far as you could from your home you spaced out in the direction you were going. 

Coming back to when you accidentally kicked a pebble across the ground. Looking up you found yourself in one of the many gardens that surrounded Asgard. Walking to a marble bench, you scrunched up some of your dress in your hands, folding one leg under you before sitting atop it. Crossing your other leg across it and letting the fabric of your dress fall to the ground. 

Pulling your satchel into your lap, you grabbed your journal out of it and began to sketch the garden in front of you. Paying special attention to the detail of the flowers, wanting to make sure you entirely captured the essence of their beauty on paper. Lost in concentration, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching behind you. It wasn’t until you felt a hand rub small circles into your shoulder that you turned around. 

Hair fell in your face, obscuring your view of who was in front of you. Bringing your hand up to place your hair away from your face you dropped your pen on the ground. You went to reach for it, but a separate pair of hands grabbed it first.

“You seem to be quite the mess today, my darling.”

A genuine smile stretched across your features before looking up into the enchanting blue of his eyes. 

“Loki, hi! What are you doing out here?”

Sitting down next to you, careful to avoid your dress he spoke,

“Well, I was informed that a beautiful lady was sitting in the garden in front of the palace so of course, I had to go inspect the situation. And upon seeing a stunning shade of green draped over the bench, I had to introduce myself.” 

An airy laugh left your throat, blithe being showcased across your being.

“If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like you fancy this beautiful woman.”

“How could I not? Her beauty extends beyond the physical. She's incredibly intelligent and the only one to unconditionally show kindness and love to those who deserve it. It’d be incredibly injudicious of me to not be aware of that.”

“Alright, alright Loki, you’ve buttered me up enough.” you chuckled

“It’s never enough, darling. And it’s not buttering you up if it’s true, which it is. So, against your wishes, I shall continue to do it.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled. Looking down at his hands, you placed yours on top of his and gazed into his eyes once more. Glancing down to his lips and back up to his eyes, you slowly leaned in, Loki meeting you halfway. A kiss so tender you forgot it was Loki whose lips were tangled in a dance with your own. 

Loki moved his hand out from underneath yours and placed it on your cheek. You pulled away from the kiss and nestled your head into his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek allowing you to relish in the moment of being with each other. Flashing your eyes back up to his you asked,

“Shall we go for a walk?”

“Why not?”

Stuffing your journal and pen back into your satchel you untangled your legs and got up from the bench, Loki helping you stand up so that you didn’t trip on your dress. Taking your hand in his own, you two walked through the garden on a path that would eventually lead you to the entrance of the palace. 

“I’ve missed you Loki. I always miss you, I hate being away from you.”

“I know my love, I do as well, but you of all people know our predicament.”

You stopped in your tracks and turned in haste to stop him as well, making him face you. You brought both your hands up to cup his face, an idea flashing bright behind your eyes,

“Well, maybe we can change it! We can be the change to get rid of this stupid rule. I can’t imagine my life without you Loki. I don’t want to have to share my world with someone else. It’s only ever going to be you.” 

Bringing his hands up to your wrists, he looked deep into your eyes, sorrow and hope swimming behind his facial features. 

“Maybe we can, although we have to prepare for the worst...but that doesn't mean we can’t try.”

Giving a small smile, he moved his hands to the back of your head, thumb caressing your temple, and leaned in to kiss you. Giving you all the reassurance you could’ve asked for. Pulling away from each other you continued down the path hand in hand. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath, serenity washing over you. 

Opening your eyes, you realized you were closing in on the front of the palace meaning you would now be in the public eye and the last thing you wanted was more gossip to fall upon you. Looking at your lover, you stopped walking, halting him in his tracks. Forcing him to turn around and look at you.

“What is it?”

You sighed, suddenly being overcome with emotion.

“Well, if we walked any further, everyone would see us and I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble for you…”

“...Trouble? For me?”

Loki scoffed, his signature smirk following.

“Love, all I’m known for is for causing trouble, I wouldn’t mind another notch on my belt.”

You were hesitant. You loved Loki and you knew your feelings were reciprocated through him, but it was difficult breaking from the chains of what you ‘were supposed to do’. It left you in such dissonance and yet you felt in your heart to rebel so fiercely that Asgard would immortalize your change. Your silence alerted Loki and he spoke again,

“Y/N, if we are to ever make any sort of change we cannot hide in the shadows anymore. We cannot separate and scatter like roaches when the light is shined upon us. We must bask in it. That is the only way we can possibly aspire to reach our goal of loving one another in true fulfillment.”

“You’re right.”

“I always am.”

You placed your hand back in his and Loki smiled down at you. 

“Ready to have the target on your back, Y/N?”

“As long as you’re by my side, I can handle anything.”

Walking out of the secluded area of the garden, you finally stepped into the light. For the first time in the last year being open about your courtship with Loki. Asgard’s God of Mischief and your parent’s worst nightmare. You felt armored for anything to be hurled in your direction with Loki was by your side and always would be. 

The anxiety of it all had yet to drain from your bones and you couldn’t help but draft up ‘what ifs’ in your head. As if Loki was scavenging through your brain, he gave your hand an inspiriting squeeze, bringing you back into your body and out of your head. If only you knew how the whispers of your choice in partnership would rain the fires of hell all too soon.

[bubble-tea-bunny]

sweet talk

[tamaki suoh x reader]

author’s note: been rewatching ouran and found the time to write smth small. basically a really late valentine’s fic lol. i’m drafting an idea for takashi as well atm. maybe kyoya after? ;)

word count: 1,844

At this time of year, the weather is chilly, the air cold even without the presence of wind and warranting the need for a scarf to avoid a red-tipped nose and numb cheeks. Most days are gloomy, the overcast sky glaringly bright and difficult to look at. But today, it would seem the divine hand in charge of the course of the seasons has granted a reprieve, the clouds parting so the sun might wash over the grass that you and Tamaki sit upon currently, in the garden of the Suoh estate.  

The gardeners had finished their tasks this morning, as instructed by Tamaki the night before. It gave you two the opportunity to be out there alone in the afternoon. The hedges are trimmed and tidy, and the smell of freshly cut grass is strong. You inhale deeply, chest puffed, and sigh in satisfaction as the scent reaches your nose. It had been so long since you sat out in a garden, owed to the fact it had been too cold for that lately.

Tamaki chuckles at your enthusiasm and rifles through the picnic basket he’d brought with him. He pushes aside the array of deserts—cake slices, chocolate bars, fruit tarts, and more—their colorful wrappings crinkling loud enough to grab your attention.

“Where is it…” he mutters.

You tilt your head. "Where is what?”

The tip of Tamaki’s tongue sticks out the corner of his mouth, evidence of his concentration, and when he finally finds what he’s searching for, he holds it up like a first place prize, complemented by an exclamation: “Aha!”

It’s a small plastic pouch, clear with red stripes and tied near the top with a matching, shiny red poly ribbon to keep it closed. There’s what you assume to be candy inside, in various colors, but you don’t recognize it. You’re still just as clueless, but you don’t need to voice your question because Tamaki can see the confusion written across your face.

“It’s commoner candy!” he explains. “Well, commoner Valentine’s candy, more specifically.”

You continue to watch, intrigued by what he’s brought, as he pulls at the ribbon to loosen it and opens the pouch, reaching inside for one of the pieces of candy. He holds up the heart-shaped treat, gripped carefully between index finger and thumb, and angles it so you can see what’s written on it: Sweetheart.

Upon realizing there’s wording on it, and that the same must go for every heart in the bag, your eyes light up. “Cute!”

“It is, isn’t it?” Tamaki agrees, voice quiet as he observes the candy. The nickname is printed red though the lettering isn’t too sharp, which gives away that it was done by a machine. “Haruhi got one for all the host club members, and I wanted to share mine with you.”

When he turns to you, amethyst eyes warm like a summer night, you smile. And when he offers the bag of heart candies to you, you eagerly reach in for one. “How thoughtful!” You turn over the piece you picked out: Only You.

“Well, shall we try them together?” Tamaki inquires, and you nod. The two of you pop the candy into your mouths in unison, then sit silently for a moment in contemplation.

It’s… unique, is the best description you can come up with. The powdery, pressed substance is basically a sugar bomb that melts once it comes in contact with your tongue. But it isn’t the quality of sugar you’re accustomed to—it’s far and away from the refined sweetness of the handmade confections stashed away in the picnic basket Tamaki brought along. Still, this mass-produced goody is delightful in its own way, in taste and novelty, for you have never seen such small candies with words on them, and you say as much to your boyfriend, the last traces of the heart candy lingering on your lips which you lick away.

“They’re charming,” you remark, reaching for another piece. “For when you can’t find the words or get them out yourself.” You read what’s written on the yellow heart you grabbed, then turn it to show Tamaki: Be Mine.

Tamaki’s attention briefly diverts down to read it as well, and the corner of his lips lifts in a lopsided grin as he meets your eyes again. “Sure, they can be useful for some people, but I can get by just fine without candy telling me what to say. How could I call myself the king of the host club if I weren’t able to string together pretty words?” Always conducting himself with some semblance of dramatic flare, he puts a hand to his chest, and the sunlight reflects off his eyes in a way that makes it seem like there’s a tear or two forming in the corners.

As usual, his acting is impeccable, and you can’t contain your smile; he’s such a natural. You have no objections to his claim as king of the school’s host club, and if you’re being honest, you wish you had even half the charisma he does, that some of the skill he possesses at waxing lyrical would rub off onto you via proximity alone.

“They would’ve come in handy for me that day I confessed to you,” you admit shyly, and it’s Tamaki’s turn to tilt his head, confused but waiting for you to expound. “These candies say all the things I wanted to say to you then.”

The day you came to terms with your feelings about Tamaki and the day you actually revealed them to him were different, and the time in between had been spent in a state of conflict over whether it was worth mustering up the courage to approach him about it. There was little doubt in your mind that the president of the host club received declarations of love left and right, a routine part of his week, a clockwork consistency like that of waking in the morning and laying down to sleep in the evening. You’re a drop of water in the ocean; what could possibly make you stand out?

For all that, you figured you should confess anyway. Rejection was still an answer and it was better than nothing. At least after the gentle let down (because truly, Tamaki is, without fail, graceful in matters of love, both the reciprocal and the unrequited) your turmoil over what he may say would finally be put at ease.

Though you rehearsed over and over what you would say and how you would say it, the practice ends up being useless, and you weren’t sure why you even bothered. Once you met his kind gaze—expectant and patient, giving you the opportunity to gather the words in the stretching silence that would be oddly too long in any other context—the resolve you had slowly been building on your walk to the meeting point by the fountain crumbled. You tripped over your words at the sight of his tender smile. Tamaki just had that effect on people, and you wished he’d look at you that way always. To be on the receiving end of his affection was to bask in the warmth of a sun that never sets.

It’s a feeling you’re distinctly reminded of now, sitting in the garden on an uncharacteristically sunny day for winter and the center of Tamaki’s attention, and you think you might be set alight from the sheer intensity (due mostly to Tamaki; the sun is poor competition in contrast). He wears that beautifully soft expression, mind clearly having thought back to your confession as yours just had. But it seems his recollection differs slightly, for he presents a counterpoint.

“I thought you handled it perfectly.” He sets the bag of heart candies on the grass and braces himself with his now freed hand, which allows him to lean closer to you. He enters your bubble but you never mind it, and his touch is feather-light as he brushes your hair behind your ear.

You’re unpersuaded, however, and raise a brow. “Really?”

Tamaki chuckles and nods, blonde hair bouncing with the singular motion. “Your eyes spoke for the words you had trouble finding. I might be the one stringing together pretty poetry like diamonds around your neck”—his fingers slide lower to trace the curve of your collarbone left exposed by the cut of your blouse, and you shiver—“but you have no need for words at all, much less the turns of phrases on pieces of candy.”

“Is that why you liked me too?” you ask, remembering his own confession that had followed closely on the heel of yours. You keep your voice hushed because given how close to each other you are, there’s no need for any higher of a volume.

Tamaki hums in confirmation. His index finger delicately taps once, twice, thrice, on the hollow at the base of your throat, a sort of absentminded movement while absorbed in his thoughts, before he once more brings his hand up, cradling your cheek. “You say you’re a drop in the ocean but you’re the drops of morning dew on the roses just outside my bedroom window. My heart flutters to breathe you in.”  

You smile, bashful, and set your hand over his, interlacing your fingers. Your cheeks have darkened in a blush Tamaki would like to kiss. “Okay, I’m convinced,” you concede with a murmur. He’s so close to you now. “When I admitted how I felt, maybe it didn’t go as badly as I thought.”

This elicits another laugh from Tamaki. Instead of acting on his desire to run his lips along your silken skin (there would be time for that later), he settles for a quick peck on your nose, then reaches into the pouch of heart candies, temporarily abandoned but not forgotten. His fingers curl around two pieces and he pulls them both out rather than dropping one, but he sees the words on them before you do since his hand obscures them from your view.

“The powers governing destiny have destined our souls for each other,” he declares. “Because you and me, it’s love.”

He uncurls his fingers to reveal the candy in his palm, and you look down at them. The green one reads You & Me, and the blue one It’s Love. This prompts you to giggle. It’s music to his ears.

“What happened to not needing candy to tell you what to say?” Your tone is playful.

Tamaki shrugs, unable to hide his amused grin. “I pulled them out at random. If this is the universe speaking to me, who would I be to argue?”

You have no counter to this, not that you think there even is one. Destiny is destiny and as Tamaki feeds you one of the hearts and you bite into it, the sugar once more dissolving on your tongue, you can only thank those powers which make the world turn for conferring their blessing upon the two of you in such a deliciously sweet way.

[athenamgh]

DON'T FORGET ME - #I

a/n: veryy veryy old idea.. lets see if smth good of it will come out... btw it will have at least two parts

paring/s: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

summary: two broken hearts need to heal each other.. but will they..

warning/s: tears, angst, fluff (i am soo not sure....)

word count: 1.7k

Chapter I | Chapter II

Natasha Romanoff MASTERLIST

You slowly opened your eyes and they met the dark ceiling. It seemed it was still an early morning because the room was still sinking in the dark. You slowly turned your head to the side, your palm brushing through the empty space aside. Suddenly, you tightly clenched the sheets in your fist, closing your eyes strongly.

You slowly opened your eyes and they met two beautiful forest green orbs. Before you could notice your body was already acting in it’s own way, your face spread a bright smile. Natasha was looking at you with those dark green eyes, you could drown in, her hair messy due to the sleep, made her look even more beautiful whenever.

You gently brushed the loose strand of hair, whispering “Good morning gorgeous”. A soft smile spread her soft lips and reddish crawl up her face. She was about to cover herself, to hide her face with sheets, but you gently caught her wrists. “Don’t you dare to run from me”. 

Natasha looked at you with a challenging look “Or what?”. Your face crept up a smirk, you quickly brought your hands to her sides starting to tickle her.

The laugh filled the room. She was trying to defend herself, but your hands there faster running across her body. “Okay, okay,” she giggled, “stop now, please” , but you didn’t want to let her go so easily. 

“Say, that you won’t hide from me ever again”, Natasha narrowed her eyes slightly, her lips spread a wide smile, she nodded. Romanoff  wrapped her hands around your neck, looking deep into your eyes, admiring the pure affection sparking in them.

  “I would never want to be apart from you y/n”. You felt her hand brush your cheek, then slim fingers ghosting your bottom lip. All this time your eyes didn’t disconnect even for a breath second.

In a moment of surprise Natasha swiftly flipped two of you over, now she was on the top straddling your waist. You widely smiled at her tricky move, lifting yourself up on your forearms “I will never be able to stay away from you, huh?” you asked, astonished. 

Natasha leaned forward for a moment with a mischievous smile, placing her index finger on your bottom lip making your tongue brush it lightly “Well, that’s the plan, dear..”. 

You lifted your eyebrow playfully, “Oh, really?”. 

“Mhm,” she giggled, now shaping your strong jawline with her finger. 

“Well, then how about we make it even, huh?.” Her lips parted, her tongue liking her bottom lip while  looking up at you. “You will never be able to get me out of your head,” you said with such a low almost husky voice. 

She leaned her head to the side slightly because of your statement, from her eyes you could tell she was intrigued. “And how would you possibly do that?” she said seductively.

Suddenly you lifted yourself up from your elbows making her sit down in your lap. A  gasp escaped her lips at the sudden closeness, her hands resting on your chest. You looked at her deep green eyes, analyzing every detail of it. While your fingers ghosted the side of her neck, then lingered at her collarbone. You noticed she was holding her breath, looking stunned at you. At this moment Natasha Romanoff only belonged to you and you only belonged to her. Then, with both of your hands, you gently took the sides of her face. Bringing her closer to you, one of your thumbs brushing the soft skin of her cheek, your lips inches apart, but before they could touch one another, you whispered, “This…” and your lips blended together into a perfect kiss.

You shot your eyes open. Sweat covering your body. You sit up in the bed crawling into the ball. Your hand now tangled in your hair, cheeks riding down salty tears.

 ---

It was a late evening. Moon step by step climbing up the dark sky to settle in for a night. The room was quiet, just the sound of the light rain tears from time to time interrupted the comfortable silence. Natasha was curled up into the ball near the window, her eyes lost somewhere far in the distance, guarding something or someone.

The sudden movement inside of the room interrupted the peaceful, but gloomy atmosphere. “You know, you need to leave your room sometimes,” Steve’s voice reached her ears. 

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you knocked sometimes,” Natasha said without turning around.  

“You are becoming a hater, Nat.” this time she just ignored his comment, drowning somewhere deep in her own world.

Since the day Steve has met Natasha, he kind of promised himself he would do everything he can to protect her, of course, as everyone else who was part of his life. Natasha for Steve was such a dear friend and he hated so much seeing Nat like this: broken, hurt, lost. And there was just so little he could do to lighten the Romanoff’s pain.

“It’s been months Nat”. 

“And it seems like nothing has changed…” Natasha’s voice almost sank into the whisper. 

“She is still on your mind, isn’t she?” Natasha turned around, brushing the tear sliding down her face. Her eyes reddish and cheeks stained with tears. “And it hurts too?”

Taking a deep breath Natasha parted her lips “If I didn’t feel the pain, maybe it would be easier to forget? Forget how good it felt, how bright and beautiful everything looked, how sweet it all sounded, to forget it all...” Steve’s face softened, he came up to Natasha, sitting beside her.

“Nat,” he stopped for a moment, thinking. “They say with time the pain fades away, but they always forget to mention how in fact long it takes to finally feel it calm down even a tiny bit. It seems the pain gets more and more powerful with every day until it almost claims you completely.” Natasha’s gazed down, her hand tightly clenching the blanket.

“And there is nothing. Not even the shining armor you suited yourself to protect your heart or giant walls you built around to save yourself from pain, will hardly defend you from what your heart desires.” Steve continued. “And even then all the pain fades away, you won’t forget it. It will always be in the back of your mind and heart, lingering there and never fading away.” He reached to take her hand, squeezing it tightly for a moment and letting it go, making Natasha to look up. “Because Nat, you can’t just stop loving someone who you fall for so unconditionally. Your heart will never forget someone who once made you truly happy.” Steve saw how the last tear rolled out on Natasha’s cheek.

“I knew you were sentimental bastard, but not that strong” she said jokingly and Steve for the first time in month’s saw her lips spread a tiny smile even if it was for only a moment. 

“What should I do?” she asked, her eyes filling with new tears again. 

“Natasha, only you can decide what to do, what or who to choose.” She barely nodded. “Now, get some sleep, a long day is waiting for you tomorrow,” Steve said while walking towards the doors. He was about to exit, but Natasha’s voice stopped him, making Steve turn around 

“Thank you, I don’t think I say it enough”. Steve gave her a soft smile before leaving.

 ---

The sound of someone entering the small grocery store interrupted the soft music playing in the background. You were standing in front of one of the shop shelves, searching for the right ingredients for dinner. It was probably a good idea to make at least one home meal. Instead of buying pizza or any other meal that you could possibly order directly to your apartment.

You were about to grab a serial box, but suddenly you heard a familiar voice. “Y/n?” you turned to your right, recognizing the person. 

“Oh, Wanda” you greeted each other with a warm hug. “What are you doing here?” You shook your head a little, “I mean, obviously you are in the grocery store because of the food.” 

Wanda released a small laugh, “Yeah, that’s how it kind of works. Or the shop just convinces you that you need something, even if you really do not.” You chuckled lightly agreening.

Wanda stepped closer to you, reaching to crease your left arm “So, how are you doing?” 

You glanced down “You know, I would say that I'm okay’ or ‘Everything is alright’,” You looked up at her, facing her concerned face “But I know you know me better than that, so I would just say… I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Wanda nodded slightly 

“I hope everything will be okay soon.” You nodded, barely smiling. 

You shook your head a little, asking “Less about me, how are you and the avengers?”

“They are good. Nothing new lately, just a few missions here and there, everything as usual. Thor is too busy being a badass and worrying about his hair, Tony and Bruce working on some kinda project that I am too confused yet to talk about, I keep myself busy with training stuff and helping Steve and Nat.." Wanda's voice cut off at the last name, realizing what she said, you heart skipped a beat at the sound of the name that left Wanda's lips.. After a moment more Wanda continued ''Everyone is just keeping themselves busy, ever. Long story short everyone is okay”. 

  “Not all happy, but okay” she added, listening to her last words made your heart ache even more. “We miss you, you know?”

You smiled with a small smile at her words “Yeah, I miss you too guys..” 

Wanda looked at you for a moment “Would you come to the party tomorrow that Tony is throwing?” You looked at her hesitantly. “Come on” she pushed you shoulder. “We would love to see you”

You looked at the ground for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts. “I’ll promise to consider it,” you said, looking up at Wanda.

“That’s all I need” her lips spread a wide smile. “I see you there!” she said walking away. You rolled your eyes at her playfully.

---

As you stood in front of a mirror smoothing your palms over the small wrinkles on your dark velvet suit, the only thought that was lingering in your mind was how desperately you wanted to crawl up in a ball in your bed and just stay like that forever. You didn’t want to go to that party. 

~~> |Chapter II| <~~

[pxedpiper]

Horizon (21)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

Previous / Masterlist / Next

A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao

It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.

“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”

“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”

“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”

“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”

You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”

“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.

“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”

“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”

“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”

“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”

“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”

“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”

“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”

“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”

“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”

“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.

Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”

You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”

“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”

“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”

“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”

“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”

“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”

“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”

“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”

“Yes?” You turned to face him again.

He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”

“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”

~

Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”

“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”

“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”

“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.

Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”

“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”

Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”

“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”

“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.

Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.

“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”

“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”

“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.

You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”

“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.

Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.

~

Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.

Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”

Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”

“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”

“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”

“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”

“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.

Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”

“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.

“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”

“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”

“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”

“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”

Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.

“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”

“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.

“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.

“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”

“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”

Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”

“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.

“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”

~

You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.

“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.

“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”

“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.

“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”

“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”

“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”

“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”

“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”

“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.

“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.

“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”

“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”

You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”

“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”

“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”

“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”

~

The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.

“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”

“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.

Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”

“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”

“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”

“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”

“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.

“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.

“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”

“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.

“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”

“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”

“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”

“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.

“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.

Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”

“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”

“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.

“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.

“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.

“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”

“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.

“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”

“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”

“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”

“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.

“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”

“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”

“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”

You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”

“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”

~

“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”

“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”

“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”

Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.

There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.

You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”

“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.

“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.

“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.

“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.

“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”

“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.

Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”

“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”

“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.

“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.

“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”

“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.

Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”

“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”

“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”

“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.

“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”

“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”

“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”

He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”

You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.

“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”

“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”

“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.

“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.

The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…

~

Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.

“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.

“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”

“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.

Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”

“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”

“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.

“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.

“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”

“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”

“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”

“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”

“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.

~

Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.

“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”

“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.

“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”

Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.

Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”

Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”

“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”

“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.

“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”

~

Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.

“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.

“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”

“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”

“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.

“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”

“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.

You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”

He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”

“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”

“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”

~

It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.

“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.

You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”

He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”

“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.

Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”

“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”

“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”

“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.

“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.

It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”

“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”

“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”

“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.

“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.

Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.

Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.

What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.