#this is done i am so done idc if i missed a spot THIS IS DONE

[foervraengd]

I love the mining-armor sm

[gothgoblinbabe]

She Wolf

A/N: I said I was gonna get this done and it took me way too long and has an absurd word count but I am incapable of holding in word vomit! Inspired by She Wolf by Shakira cause idc its GOOD and it got me thinking' so here it is. Also you don't have to listen to the song as you read but I think It's fun!

Summary: You've got a crush on your best friend and he's a bit of a dick. He regrets it and tries to apologize but you're already trying to push yourself to move on any way you can, even if it's in some shady club you'd never been to before.

Warnings: MDNI 18+, swearing, Logan's kind of an asshole for a minute, Possessive/jealous!Logan, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), friends to lovers cause that's my fave, afab reader, mutant reader, unnamed creepy guy (?) aaaand Logan absolutely has a pain kink. I think that's it but if there's any I missed please let me know!

Word Count: 7K (im so sorry but I'm not though)

divider credit here

“Are you ever gonna tell him?”

You looked up from your desk towards Ororo’s voice, sighing and taking your glasses off your nose.

“God, I don’t know, ‘ro. I don’t think I should. It’s just going to end with me being humiliated and him never wanting to even be in the same room as me again.”

You’d had a crush on Logan Howlett since the day you first walked through the doors of the mansion six months ago. You’d probably be considered best friends by now with how much time you’d spend together, doing jack shit around the mansion on your days off. Just about everyone could tell he had a soft spot for you and that you had one for him. Logan was a classic ‘tough guy’, constantly trying to hide his kind nature with a hard exterior, but it took only a couple weeks for you to crack that barrier. You weren’t exactly a seemingly ‘soft’ type either.

You’d spent the majority of your life before you joined the X-men hoping from couch to couch and hitching rides with strangers, not really having a destination or a place to call home. You’d been dropped off at a church when you were fourteen, around the time you started to turn every full moon. Your parents couldn’t live with having to chain their mutant daughter in their basement once a month, and so they dropped you where they thought you’d find some ‘help’. You’d been passed from foster home to foster home till you were eighteen, each one passing you up the moment they realized you were not like them. It was always a slip of the mask, something setting you off to make you so enraged your eyes gleam yellow and your sharp canines make an unfortunate appearance. You took off the second you could and being on the road came with its fair share of creeps; men with terrible intentions looking for opportunities. You’d never wanted to hurt anyone - truly - but when cornered by a creep, it was hard to think anyone would miss them. A couple of local newspapers caught on, debating where the wolf that tore men to shreds had gone. You weren’t an animal. You just had teeth like one.

Knowing you couldn’t lurk in town much longer, you’d hitchhiked your way to a camp occupied with people like you; lost with no place to call home. It was there that you’d met a couple of mutants who told you about Charles Xavier and the place that seemed completely unreal until you set your eyes on it. That felt like a lifetime ago by now. 

“I think you're underestimating how he feels about you,” Ororo said, bringing you back to reality. She was sat on the edge of your bed, flipping through one of your magazines as you worked at your computer to try and make a lesson plan for the coming week. 

“I think you’re overestimating how he feels about me,” you let out a short laugh, shaking your head.

Just as she was about to retort, you both heard someone shout your names from the hallway. You looked at each other curiously and left the room, hearing shouting again. 

“Are you guys gonna play Monopoly with us or what?”

You both giggled and made your way downstairs towards Scott’s voice. Him, Jean, Marie, Bobby and Logan were all sat in the living room, the game already set up on the coffee table. Bobby and Marie were picking out their game pieces, assigning everyone else to their own piece.

“Okay, Logan, you’re gonna be the dog,” Marie smiled, dropping the little metal piece into the palm of his hand. 

He was definitely not as amused, “why do I have to be a damn dog?”

Ignoring him, she handed another piece out to Jean, “you’re the thimble.”

She then handed the boat to Scott, the top hat to you, and the iron to Ororo. You all began the game after Scott painstakingly over-explained the rules and how to play. 

It was a good bit into the game that you all became distracted with conversation, eventually leaving the board game untouched. The topic of compatibility came up somehow, the conversation focused on the joy of Bobby and Marie. 

“I think anyone would be lucky to have what you guys have,” Ororo smiled, shifting her gaze between the two of them.

“And what we have, obviously,” Scott joked, hanging his arm around Jean.

“Gross,” Logan chimed in, taking a sip of the beer he’d hidden in the back of the fridge.

“I think someone is jealous,” Ororo said in a singsong voice, poking his arm.

“Of having someone hang on me all the time? No, thanks,” he scoffed.

As stupid as it was, it made you a little sad to hear he had no interest in even entertaining the idea. It wasn’t a surprise, but still a disappointment nonetheless.

Ororo brought up your name and your eyes went huge, silently begging her to keep her mouth shut.

“You don’t seem to mind her hanging on you all the time. I think you’d be cute together,” she said, smiling mischievously at you. Scott and Jean agreed and you had never wanted to smash your head into a coffee table as much as you did in that moment.

“Nah, definitely not my type of girl.”

It was just seven words, out quick without a second thought, and yet it felt like you’d been punched in the gut. You couldn’t take your eyes off the monopoly board on the table, avoiding everyone’s gaze. 

Definitely not my type of girl. 

“I think I should head to bed, it’s getting late,” you mumbled, keeping your head down to hide your blushed face as you got up from the couch and practically ran out of the room and up the stairs. 

“What the hell was that?” Scott scolded Logan the moment you were out of sight.

“That was so mean,” Ororo chimes in, backhanding him on the arm.

“I didn’t mean to be,” Logan said nervously , shrugging his shoulders, “…do you think she’s mad at me?”

“Probably more hurt than mad,” Jean said honestly. 

“Shit,” he sighed, putting his beer down to rub his face with his hands, “what do I say?”

“Not that,” Marie replied, “why did you even say that anyway? You could’ve just said no.”

“I think you like her and you’re being mean so that she wont like you back because you’re afraid,” Ororo said after a moment of silence. 

Logan sat quiet for a moment, his hands still over his face.

“Am I that easy to read?” His voice was muffled through his hands.

The rest of them couldn’t help exchanging knowing smiles.

“So you finally admit it,huh? You’ve got a crush,” Scott teased.

Logan moved his hands from his eyes to glare daggers at him, “you shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shove that monopoly board where the sun doesn’t shine.”

“I think that’s a yes,” Jean whispered to her boyfriend.

“Talk to her when you see her tomorrow. We’re not going to let you hurt her feelings just because you can’t accept your own,” Ororo advised, lightly patting him on the shoulder.

“Do you think she’s even gonna talk to me?”

“Only one way to find out.”

───────♡──────────────♡───────

Logan tried to catch up with you the next day, always seeing you as you were leaving a room he was entering or passing by and even then, you ignored his calls of your name.

It was a little after dinner now and because it was a weekend, a couple of kids were up playing the PlayStation in the living room. Bobby and Marie sat with them, taking turns with the controllers. 

Logan entered the room after about three laps around the mansion, mentioning your name to the both of them.

“Have you guys seen her? I’ve been trying to talk to her all day, she keeps running from me.”

“Can’t really blame her,” Bobby muttered, his eyes never leaving the TV screen as he button smashed. 

“She’s in her room,” Marie answered before Logan could come up with a retort, “she went up before dinner, said she wasn’t hungry.”

He groaned, running a hand through his hair, “she’s skipping dinner now too, great.”

“Go talk to her!” She insisted, shooing him away with a wave of her hand.

He made his way to the stairs and up to your bedroom, knocking lightly on your door. Hearing nothing, he knocked again, a little harder. Still, nothing. 

“You can’t avoid me forever, you know. I wanna talk about yesterday, I was a dick.”

Silence. Now he was a little worried. He tentatively grabbed the doorknob and turned, cracking it open a bit.

Your bed was made, your desk was neatly organized and you were nowhere to be seen. He noticed your purse was gone from the usual spot you’d leave it in and your closet was open, a couple garments and some shoes strewn about on the floor. It looked like you’d gotten dressed and dipped. He figured maybe Ororo or Jean might know where you were, leaving your room and looking for them instead. He found them shortly after, huddled in the kitchen. Again, he asked if either of them knew where you were.

“She’s in her room, she went up before dinner,” Ororo answered.

“No, she’s not. And her purse is gone.”

Both women turned to each other with the same worried expression.

───────♡──────────────♡───────

Having tried your cellphone about thirteen times from just about everybody’s phones, they all decided they had to tell Charles. He used his ability to connect with every mutant on the planet to try and locate you, visualizing with his eyes closed. Everyone stood in his study, anxiously awaiting his conclusion. After a moment of silence, he started to silently chuckle to himself.

“What’s so funny?” Logan asked immediately, crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows.

“I’m afraid you all have your work cut out for you,” he replied, finally opening his eyes.

“So, where is she?” Ororo asked, worry in her voice. 

“There is a club called The Nightcrawler - “ Charles began to explain, but Logan interjected impatiently. 

“Club? What, like a book club?” He nearly scoffed. There was no way you were at some sleazy nightclub in the city. You were a homebody and an introvert, neither of which made clubbing enjoyable. 

“Maybe we should just let her have fun,” Jean began to say, but Logan was already halfway out the door.

Uncharacteristically, you found yourself dressed to the nines in the middle of a dance floor full of people. You’d spent a while trying outfits in your room, searching for something you could actually wear out that wasn’t sweatpants and a hoodie. You’d settled on a halter top that tied at your neck and in the back and a pair of ridiculously tight pants that you’d bought forever ago and never had the guts to wear. You ended up standing in front of the mirror, choosing a pair of very cute but very uncomfortable shoes and looking over the outfit. If you weren’t Logan’s ‘type of girl’, you sure as hell were somebody’s. Trying to get yourself out there may be the best solution to forgetting the heart-crushing infatuation you had with your best friend who would never see you as anything more. 

“I feel ridiculous,” you chuckled to yourself, turning in the mirror to see the back of your outfit. You did look good, just super out of your comfort zone. You grabbed your bag and ended up slipping out when everyone was eating dinner. That’s how you ended up where you were, pushing your way through the crowd of people with a drink in your hand. You passed the raised lounge area and felt a hand on your shoulder, making you turn suddenly.

“Hey, you wanna dance?”

He was tall, leaning down a little to shout over the music. He was pretty good looking but didn’t look like Logan in the slightest, which you realized was exactly the point of going out tonight. He was dressed nice and smelled like expensive cologne. 

“Sure, why not?”

As you abandoned your half finished drink on a table and let him pull you a little further into him, a familiar song started to thump through the speakers.

“I love this song!” You exclaimed, letting the nameless guy rest his hands on your hips.

S.O.S., she's in disguise

S.O.S., she's in disguise

There's a she wolf in disguise

Coming out, coming out, coming out

“Ironic,” you muttered under the music.

───────♡──────────────♡───────

Logan walked ahead of Ororo, Jean and Scott, his long legs taking him much further at a much faster pace.

“Logan, slow down!” Ororo called out, jogging a bit to catch up with him.

“What if she didn’t even want to be there? What if some guy dragged her there?”

“Oh,” Jean laughed, “ I see. You’re jealous.” 

“No.”

“Yup.”

“Nope.”

“So you’d be fine if we walked in there and she is with a guy?” 

Logan slowed his pace as they approached the entrance, “sure, whatever,” feigned disdain in his voice.

The second the door opened, the bass of the music was overwhelming. It was dim, save for a few colorful lights projecting around the room. The four of them were squished together near the door, trying to pick you out in a sea of moving people. 

“This is gonna be like finding a needle in a haystack,” Scott shouted.

“Not necessarily,” Ororo replied, a smug smile on her face.

“What?” Logan furrowed his eyebrows.

She pointed across the room and he followed her gaze.

There's a she wolf in the closet

Open up and set it free 

There's a she wolf in your closet

Let it out so it can breathe

You didn’t even look like you. He’d never seen you in anything that showed that much skin or any clothes that even hugged you like that, for that matter. 

And you were with a guy.

Sitting across a bar, staring right at her prey

It's going well so far, she's gonna get her way

“So, what did we tell you?” Jean shouted, waving her hand in front of his glaring eyes.

“Just some kid,” he replied dismissively, turning to her, “doesn’t mean anything anyway.”

“You sure?” Scott nudged his shoulder, making Logan look towards you again.

That kid had his hands up the sides of your top with his head craned down to kiss your neck, your back to his chest. You were giggling, playfully smacking his arm. Truthfully, you thought the attention was nice for a change. After trying so hard for too long to get Logan to notice you, it felt good to have someone pay attention to you in that way. 

Not looking for cute little divos or rich city guys

I just want to enjoy 

By having a very good time

And behave very bad in the arms of a boy

You felt his hands squeeze your hips a little harder, enough for his nails to dig into your skin. Out of instinct, you felt your canine teeth start to poke against your lower lip. You tried in vain to tug his hands from you, only making him tighten his grip.

The switch in demeanor was obvious even from across the dark room, your smile turning into a grimace that bared your sharp teeth. You yanked the sleeves of his jacket to make him finally let go, turning around while he still had his arms ghosted around you.

S.O.S., she's in disguise

S.O.S., she's in disguise

“Touch me like that again, you son of a bitch, and I will rip you to fucking shreds.”

You gathered fistfuls of his shirt, bringing him down to eye level so he could see your snarling teeth and gleaming eyes as a hint that you weren’t bluffing. 

There's a she wolf in disguise

Coming out, coming out, coming out

Before anyone could even tell him to stay put, Logan had already disappeared into the crowd of people.

“God damn it,” Scott huffed, following Jean and Ororo when they went after him. 

“Logan!” Jean yelled, trying to grab his jacket to slow him and only having him slip out of her grip. 

There's a she wolf in the closet

Let it out so it can breathe

“Shit, I’m kinda into the fangs. What, you gonna bite me?” He was whispering in your ear, your hands still on his shirt. Before you could do something you were going to regret, you felt someone tug your upper arm and pull you away from him.

“Come on,” Logan snapped, “we’re leaving.”

“What the hell are you doing here? What do you mean we?” You yelled back. You didn’t want to stay anywhere near that guy but you weren’t ready to leave either and sure as hell not with Logan dragging you out like an angry parent.

“Hey, she doesn’t really look like she wants to leave with you, man,” the other guy interjected, keeping a grip on you by looping his fingers through one of the belt loops on your pants. 

“Yeah? She doesn’t want to stay with you either, jackass,” Logan moved his hand from your arm to hold your hand instead, “she’s not interested.”

What the hell had gotten into him? You felt like you were in the middle of a tug of war with two dogs. 

“No one’s gonna fucking ask what I want, right?” You tried to complain, neither of them hearing you. 

“Your little doggy girlfriend here was just about to take care of me. You mad about it?” The other guy laughed and you nearly lunged at him, Logan’s hand tugging you back. He intended to pull you away so he could get to him first, but Scott, Jean and Ororo jumped in just in time. 

“Alright - enough, enough, we’re leaving!” Jean yelled, pushing you all towards the door, Logan dragging you the whole way. When you finally were out in the cool evening air, you angrily yanked your hand from his.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, turning to Logan, “and what the fuck was that?”

“What was that? You’re welcome - “ 

“I didn’t ask you to come save me - from what, having a good time?”

“Oh, yeah, it looked like you were having a lot of fun,” he scoffed, “he had you by the hip so hard he probably left a bruise.”

He instinctively reached his hand out to check and you swatted it away, “Don’t - Don’t touch me!”

None of them had ever heard you sound so pissed off and you’d definitely never snapped at Logan like that before. 

You took a deep breath and reached down to slip off your shoes, leaving you barefoot on the concrete. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to the rest of them,” but why are you guys here?”

“You left without saying anything, we couldn’t find you and we wanted to be sure you were safe,” Ororo sighed, hugging you in relief, “we’re so glad you’re okay.” 

You hugged her back.

“I just - I wanted to disappear for a while,” you explained apologetically, avoiding Jean and Scott’s gaze. 

“Do you know how stupid it was to run off and not tell anyone where you were going?” Logan scolded you, but Jean clicked her tongue at him.

“Shut it! Enough from you! You’ve done enough damage control!”

The ride home was almost silent, your tired body slumped in the backseat between Scott and Jean, until Ororo spoke from the front passenger seat.

“Honey, I don’t mean this in a bad way, but,” she paused, thinking over her words, “what were you gonna do to that guy if we hadn’t stopped you?”

You understood what she meant immediately. 

“What, you think I was going to kill him?” you asked, crossing your arms and leaning forward in your seat, “I wasn’t. I don’t do that unless I have to and you know even then I hate doing it.”

“I know…so, what were you doing with a guy like him anyway?” she asked, trying to move on from the question that had clearly made you upset, “he seemed kinda shady.”

Logan was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white, dreading the answer.

You shrugged your shoulders, staring at the synthetic fabric of your pants.

“Liked the attention, I guess,” you answered honestly, kind of hoping you could throw anyone off the idea of you being interested in Logan, “it’s been awhile since a guy has liked me like that.”

“He only wanted one thing from you anyway,” he scoffed from the front seat. Ororo glared at him, about to tell him to mind his business before you stopped her.

“And I can’t want it either?”

That shut everybody up and Ororo turned to him again, a look on her face that said ‘you asked, you got the answer’.

You tried to bolt to your room when you all got home but Logan was quick to follow, catching up with you to stand in your path in the hallway outside of your bedroom. 

“What’s going on with you?”

“Leave me be.”

You tried to dodge around him but he stuck his arm out. 

“Logan.”

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to continue speaking.

“Move.”

“I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s going on with you. You don’t disappear like that, ever. And I wanna talk to you about last night - “

“There’s nothing to talk about. Goodnight,” you huffed, ducking under his arm and opening your door.

“I care about you, you know, I was worried,” he began to explain.

You tried to slam the door in his face but he stuck his foot out, jamming his boot between the door and the doorframe. You let go in defeat and turned away, gathering your pajamas as if he wasn’t in the room.

“Yeah? Why?,” you scoffed, trying with everything in you to bite your tongue but failing miserably, “I’m not your type of girl. What’s there to worry about?”

Logan’s face fell. He pushed the door closed behind him. 

“Is that what this is about? That’s why you went out?”

“Why do you care?” 

You still had your back to him, furiously shuffling through clothing in your dresser.

“Stop.” 

You felt his hands on your arms as he came up behind you, paralyzing you in your spot.

You let him turn you around gently, almost chest to chest.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings -“

“I’m not.”

He leaned back a little to force you to look him in the eye.

“I only said that - listen, I only said that because - “ Logan paused, biting his lip till it nearly bled, but you shook your head and slipped by him again.

“Please, don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Logan.”

You sounded so exasperated, tears forming in your eyes when you turned your back to him.

“Fuck,” he sighed, “I only said that because I didn’t want you to like me.”

You wiped the tear that rolled down your cheek and turned back to him, a confused expression on your face.

“It worked, are you happy?”

“No, I’m not - “

“Well, guess it backfired. Get out of my room.”

You were face to face again, keeping your mouth in a tight line so your lip wouldn’t quiver. It felt stupid to cry in front of him, but you couldn’t really help it once it started. 

“Oh, god, please, don’t cry,” he begged, leaning down and actually bringing a hand up to your face to wipe away a tear that rolled down your cheek. You wanted to smack it away, tell him again to just get the hell out , but you couldn’t.

“Why would you do that?” You mumbled out quietly, finally letting the overwhelming feeling of sadness cancel out any rage you had for him. You couldn’t look him in the eye again, concentrating on the throw rug you were standing on.

“I’m so sorry, princess, I am. I’m really fucking stupid,” he huffed. 

You were surprised by the softness of his voice and finally tore your eyes from the floor. He’d called you that before, but usually in a teasing way. This time it sounded endearing, like a plea of your name. 

“And what happened there, at the club? ‘She’s not interested’, what was that about?” You continued.

He sighed, still trying to figure out what exactly it was that he wanted to say. He realized there probably wasn’t much of a way to beat around the bush and he groaned, closing his eyes as he stood in front of you to make spilling his guts a little less agonizing.

“I like you - like you a lot, and I was an asshole because I figured if you hated me, you couldn’t like me back and it would save you the trouble.”

Hearing no response, he finally opened his eyes to see you still standing in the same spot, your lips parted.

“Save me the trouble of what?”

You were confused, your eyes narrowed as if you were angry.

“I don’t know…having to deal with me, I guess. I - I’ve never felt the way I feel about you for anyone else and it scares the shit out of me.”

You could hear him swallow hard, his eyes looking everywhere around the room except at you. 

“And earlier, when we picked you up,” he continued, “I acted like that because I was jealous, alright? Can’t stand to see some asshole on you like that, and you were dressed all nice and - I don’t know.”

You’d never heard him sound so nervous in all the time you’d known him.

“You are my type of girl,” he finally choked out, “only type of girl I’d ever want.”

All you could do was inhale sharply, his words echoing in your mind. 

“It’s alright if you hate me, I can’t say I really blame you. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

He began to walk out, convinced he’d fucked up beyond repair.

“Logan.”

Your voice stopped his hand from turning your doorknob and he turned back to you. 

No longer crying, you tentatively stepped forward a bit, nervously playing with the front hem of your top. 

“You’re not something to deal with, you know,” you muttered, letting your hair fall in front of your face.

You supposed this was the point where it was your turn to explain.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, Logan, probably since the day I walked in here and I just - I think I wanted someone to distract me so I wouldn’t wallow in self pity because you didn’t want me.”

“You were trying to get over me,” he realized aloud, a small smile on his face to hide the hurt, “I deserved that.”

After a moment of tense silence, he spoke again.

“Did it work?”

His voice was low and soft, a tone you’d rarely heard him speak with.

You pursed your lips and finally lifted your head, taking a deep breath. 

“No. I don’t think it was ever going to, either,” you laughed a little, “when that guy asked me to dance, the first thing I thought of was that he didn’t look anything like you.”

Your voice trailed off a little at the end, a little embarrassed to confess that even if Logan had already flat out told you he was interested in you.

Without another word, he came close enough to reach for your hands and gently intertwine your fingers with his. He cleared his throat, nervously chewing his bottom lip before he spoke.

“Can I kiss you?”

You must have had this dream a million times over, waking up night after night and feeling so empty because none of it was real. But now, with his hands in yours, it was very real.

You eagerly pressed your lips to his, not wanting to waste another second. His lips were soft and you were encompassed in the scent of his body wash and cologne, smelling of pine and cedar wood. You brought your hands up to play with his hair at the back of his head. Logan moved his arms to wrap around your waist, pulling you further into him. 

When you finally pulled away from each other, you were both smiling like idiots.

“We should’ve done that much sooner,” you giggled.

“Agreed.”

His fingers traced small circles on the exposed skin of your back, making you shiver.

He kissed you again, this time with much more intensity. It wasn’t long before your tongues were in each other's mouths and you both had fumbled yourselves over to the end of your bed.

“Wanted you for so long,” he mumbled between kissing your neck and jaw, his hands still sliding up and down your back, “I was so stupid.”

“We both were,” you giggled a little, cut short into a moan when he licked your neck all the way from your collarbone to under your ear.

“L-Logan,” you gasped, unable to hide your blushing face.

He hummed into your neck, bringing his mouth to your ear, “Can I show you how sorry I am? Let me make it up to you.”

His voice made the hair on the back of your neck stand up and you let him pull you onto him to straddle his lap, lost in the feeling of his hands on you.

“Mmm, uh-huh,” you hummed, mouth hung open as he sucked light marks into your neck. 

“You have to use your words, pretty girl,” he brought his head up to rest his forehead against yours. He cupped your jaw tenderly, almost as if you’d disappear if he let go. 

Before you could answer, he moved his hands to drag your hips over his, grunting when he felt the pressure.

“Y-yes, yeah - please,” you choked out between moans, tugging his hair harder every time he pushed and pulled your hips.

“Please what, baby?”

“You - you can make it up to me,” you groaned into his neck. 

He effortlessly lifted you by your thighs and laid you with your back to the bed. You untucked his white t-shirt from his jeans as he crawled over you, desperate to get your hands underneath it. You lightly scratched your nails along his back, making him groan into your ear. He kissed down your neck to the center of your chest, gently slipping his fingers under the hem of your top and around the back. 

“Can I take this off you, baby?”

You were already sitting up before he could finish his sentence, reaching to try and untie the knot at the back of your neck.

“Eager, huh?”, he chuckled, “let me, sweetheart.”

He wrapped his arms around your lower back to tug at the knot, feeling it come loose in his hands. He snaked his hands up to the back of your neck, doing the same to the tied strings there. When it came loose, the only thing holding the piece of fabric to you was his hands at the back of your neck. He let it slip from his fingers, a smirk on his face when it fell completely.

You threw the garment somewhere to the floor and tugged on the collar of his t-shirt, bringing him down with you as laid back again and pressed your lips to his. He pulled back for a moment to yank his shirt off and immediately return his mouth to yours, making his way down to your neck. He brought both his hands to your chest and swept his thumbs over your hard nipples, eventually bringing his lips to them and sucking. 

“Ah - Logan,” you whined, making him smile against your skin.

“I like it when you say my name, pretty girl,” he mumbled, dragging his fingers down your sides and hooking them into the waistband of your pants. He kissed all the way down to your hips, moving himself to lay on his stomach with his head between your thighs. 

Before he could ask you if it was alright to rid you of them, you were already unbuttoning your pants and pushing them down your hips and thighs. He took them off the rest of the way for you and you kicked your panties off with them.

He hooked his arms around your thighs to pull you closer, licking his lips and resting his cheek on the inside of your thigh.

“I thought about you a lot, you know - like this,” he huffed, his warm breath fanning over your pussy.

You had your hands in his hair already, swiping fallen strands of hair out of his face.

“I thought about you like this, too,” you admitted, sighing as he started to plant kisses right above where you wanted him the most.

“Yeah?”

His teasing voice brought goosebumps to your skin and you nodded, gasping when you finally felt his lips graze your clit.

“This what you think about when you fuck yourself?” He mumbled into you, the vibration of his voice making you tighten your grip in his hair. He growled like an animal, trying to push you even further into his mouth by the grip on your thighs.

You were trying to choke out an answer, distracted by the wet sounds of him messily eating you out.

“Y - ah, yes, yeah - not as good as the real thing, though.”

He laughed with his mouth still attached to you and you tightened your thighs around his head, keeping him in place.

He could have spent hours with his mouth to your cunt, practically fucking you with his tongue while you whined his name. 

A knock on your door sounded through the room, the both of you freezing in place.

“Hey, I just wanted to check on you. Are you feeling okay?”

It was Scott.

 You grimaced, thankful at the very least that your door was locked, but Logan had a terribly smug smirk on his face. 

“Y-yeah, I’m alright, just - just tired,” you managed to choke out, stuttering when you felt two of his fingers slip into you effortlessly.

“You sure?”

You sighed, hating and loving Logan at the same time for what he was doing. 

“Yup, th-thank you, m’ jus’ gonna go to bed.”

Scott responded with a goodnight and you groaned in relief when you heard him walk away.

Logan was curling his fingers inside of you, still lapping at your pussy and letting you use your grip on his hair to angle his head however you wanted him. You felt the pressure in your lower stomach rise and you tried to warn him, tugging on the hair on the back of his head.

“Logan, I’m - “

“C’mon, pretty girl, c’mon.”

His encouragement sent you over the edge, euphoria blooming from your lower stomach and spreading through you. You had to cover your mouth to muffle your pornographic moans, but Logan reached up to tug your wrist.

“Uh-uh, wanna hear you, beautiful,” he mumbled into you, practically pushing your thighs even further around his head.

“Fuck, L-Logan, too - too sensitive,” you stuttered out, trying to pull his face away by his hair and failing miserably because of his grip around your thighs.

He eventually reluctantly detached himself and crawled back on top of you, sucking the taste of you off his fingers. 

“I could do that for hours, you know, if you let me,” he groaned, pulling your hips up to him so you could feel the weight of his hard cock underneath his jeans.

Still sensitive, you reactively gripped his biceps and dug your fingernails into his skin. You were going to apologize and were quickly cut off by the guttural moan he let out into the side of your neck.

“Fuck,” he groaned, rocking his hips against yours.

“You’re into pain, huh?” 

You figured it was your turn to tease him, dragging your fingernails from his shoulders all the way down his back.

“You’re gonna pay for that, pretty girl,” he grunted, moving quickly to undo his belt and strip himself of the rest of his clothing. 

When his cock sprung up and hit his stomach as he took off his boxers, you swallowed hard; already feeling a wanting ache in your stomach again. You figured he was big - he was already a tall guy, after all - but he was far bigger than any guy you’d ever seen. Logan noticed the way you bit your lower lip, resting himself on top of you again and bringing his thumb up to pull your lip from under your teeth.

“What, are you nervous? It’s alright sweetheart, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

His voice was so soft and gentle, a tone you rarely ever heard from him. 

You could feel the weight of his cock against your inner thigh, heavy and already leaking. 

“ ‘m not nervous, I want you, please,” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist. You reached your hand between your bodies to line him up with your entrance, trying to push him in with your legs around his waist. 

“You sure?” he huffed, trying with every muscle in his body to not slam into you in one thrust. 

You nodded eagerly, scratching at his lower back. 

Logan couldn’t help himself and gave in, slipping himself into you.

“So tight,” he groaned into your neck, pushing himself in even further.

“You - fuck - you’re so fucking big,” you admitted truthfully, nearly drooling at the feeling of him stretching you out. 

“Feels good?”

It was hard for him to speak when you were so wet that he was nearly slipping out of you as he gently rocked his hips back and forth, trying to be gentle and let you adjust to his size. 

“Mm - uh-uh,” you hummed, gasping each time he pushed further.

“Use your words, sweetheart,” he huffed and you groaned, digging your nails into him. 

“Y-yes, yeah - want you all the way in,” you whimpered.

That was all it took for him to be buried in you, grinding his hips into yours so that you were pinned to the mattress. 

He worked up to a devastating pace, practically slamming your headboard into the wall.

“S-someone’s gonna - someone’s gonna hear us,” you managed to gasp out, out of breath every time he filled you and pulled back again. 

“Don’t care, let ‘em,” he pressed his forehead to yours, bringing a hand up to your face to affectionately cup your cheek. It was so sweet and almost disgustingly hot, the caring gesture contrasting the intense feeling of him repeatedly slamming into the sensitive spot inside of you. 

He really didn’t have a care in the world about who heard you both, far too lost in the feeling of finally being able to have you under him like that. You had sweat soaked strands of hair stuck to your face, your eyes squeezed shut, and he was almost sure you’d never looked more beautiful. 

“So fucking pretty,” he huffed, his thumb swiping your bottom lip. He had an idea, one he’d considered many times when he thought of you under him like this.

“Bite me.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, threading your hand through his hair, “are you sure?”

“Please.”

You forcibly unsheathed your fangs, letting them tentatively poke at his thumb that was still to your lips.

He moved his hand to your throat, resting it there without tightening his grip. 

“Please.”

His pleading had the heat in your lower stomach rising and you obliged, sinking your teeth into his shoulder. You felt guilty - you didn’t enjoy hurting people - until he was whimpering in your ear, moaning your name over and over again. 

You bit his neck, his shoulders, his lip - all the small puncture wounds healing themselves within seconds. 

Having him so pussy drunk and groaning praises into your ear brought the pressure in your lower stomach to a max and you cried out his name, letting him fuck you through your second orgasm. 

“ ‘s good, huh, princess? Come on me, c’mon,” he was begging, feeling your muscles tense around him. That drove him over the edge, his hips rutting into you and his thrusts becoming sloppy. He finally let himself go, filling you and letting it drip from you onto the sheets. He pulled back a little to see the mess you had both made, your inner thighs painted with a mix of his release and yours. He went to pull out completely and you clamped your thighs around his hips again, keeping him still.

“Want me to stay?”

“Mhm - please.”

The sexual tension was replaced with loving comfort, Logan keeping you to his chest as he laid you both on your side. His chin rested on the top of your head and your face was against his chest with your eyes closed. You smiled at the thump of his heartbeat in your ear, nearly letting it put you to sleep. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” he mumbled into your hair, planting a kiss on the top of your head, “you know I love you?”

The last three words made your eyes shoot open and you looked up at him, worried you’d misheard him or maybe he was just messing with you.

“Really?”

“Of course. You think I would’ve done that with you if I wasn’t in love?”

You thought hard for a second, realizing he was right. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had hookups before, but it had been quite a long time since he’d bothered to even get to know someone like that. He wasn’t the type to lead you on, either - always up front with you, even if he didn’t have to be. 

“I love you too,” you answered, unable to hide the wide smile on your face.

“I should’ve told you much sooner,” he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as you snuggled into him again.

Before you could both fall asleep from exhaustion, he yanked the comforter over the both of you, hearing you mumble sleepily.

“You can make it up to me some more.”

───────♡──────────────♡───────

A/N: If you made it to the end I love you <3 pls lmk what you think and reblog+like if you enjoyed!! also still navigating how to write smut without using cringe terminology so forgive me if that part sucks

[yestrday]

i was the anon who uh told you abt the oc and so here i am sharing him.

Yeah, this is Corin :3

I saw that Zhongli was supposed to have graduated but was held back for.... reasons...

So I decided that Corin is also back a grade... for a reason I don't know fits in your academy au lore but fuck it we ball am i right. (He just like missed a deadline to enroll or something... idc if that's not how schools work, corin is my bbg)

BTW, Ms. Aika is ANOTHER genshin oc, she's sorta like immortal in non academy au lore (just actual genshin world oc) who found Corin when he uh... escaped from a cult.. I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT!!!!!! Yeah, they have like a mother/son relationship. Not legally, though, so he kind of is like her #1 servant.

Corin, in general, is a really calm and chill guy, so I thought it'd be really funny if I gave him a BURNING hatred for Childe where he's just... a bit more done with that guy. ( also he doesn't like Scaramouche. but Corin retaliates with "at least I'm not short" when he is LITERALLY just a bit taller... it's so fun to me) He'd be silently judging because he's not particularly one to like confrontation (unless it's Childe or Scaramouch,, obv), and he does the look into the camera like it's the Office @ shenanigans.

He likes being around Aether/Lumine or Diluc the most (Also has to do with the non academy genshin lore I gave him...where he works at Angel's Share and probably becomes a companion to the Traveler) and he probably gets along better with Monstadt characters (oh he loves Fischl, thinks she's very funny but also has no idea what she is saying

"That's so cool.." turn to Oz "what is she saying."

... that's his little sister, just trust me on this)

Other than the Monstadt characters, I think Corin is friends w Itto (bro got picked up one day just like 'guess this is my life now') and literally anyone else

only #2 dogboy because Gorou is always #1

sorry corin

also, hell yeah i put that man in crop tops... what are you, a cop...

I'm just adding things at this point, but teehee, Corin is a babysitter sometimes. I don't know where Klee fits into this AU, but he probably babysits her (actively enables her shenanigans... i mean, he never did anything at all... what are you talking about...) also gets him closer to Albedo possibly maybe blink blink...

i got silly :3

behrhigw HES SO SCRUNKLY I LOVE HIM??!?! corin is just trying to live it sucks he has a murderous harem (which has childe)

also the missing enrollment is spot on i know so many lazy bums that are my classmates cuz they were like oh lmao the deadline was THAT day?? whoops haha ill just take a gap year its honestly spot on

i love him 🥺🥺

[alwastakenofc]

hmmmmm so ! lesser-than-before rant incoming :)

i’ve been playing this game on my phone for the last 3ish weeks bc i’m tryna get $80 from getting to “grand sultan” level thru this app that gives me games to download and rewards me for playing them/hitting checkpoints and stuff idk it’s rly cool but that’s besides the point ! so i figured i would Bounce after the month is up bc like it’s just a gimmicky pay-to-win kind of game where if u don’t keep up daily u fall behind, BUT there’s also a Huge player base for the game (which makes it fun but also gives it that rly insanely competitive edge that makes it hard to miss days without feeling like ur behind). so one of the things i had to do was join a union/guild where i am partnered up with ppl like the guild leader and co-leader and elites and others members ya know? and we can do quests and stuff and it just gives u a good boost to everything which obviously helps u level faster ! so i was like “hmmmm maybe ill make one…” but then i noticed ppl talking in the all chat saying how they’re not new, this is their 3rd, 4th, 5th+ server that they’re hopping on bc they wanna start over again, etc etc so i was like “…. nah im not making my own union LOL” so i ended up joining this one that had free slots and rly didn’t like the guy leading it bc he was kinda rude… so i left, changed my name/avatar, and DM’d the leader of this guild i had my eye on in the first place but was full at the time! they now had 1 space free and i had to wait 24 hours to join bc i just left my last guild… so she said she’d save the spot and BAM, i got in! we talked in DMs abt how i left my last guild bc No One except the leader talked and when he did it was to Demand things from us like “Everyone better donate 200 diamonds or else.” and stuff!! lmao

SO. fast forward to now. it’s been about 3 weeks in the guild and MANNNNNN IVE MADE A FEW FRIENDS, THEYRE ALL SO NICEEEEE 🥺 me and a couple other guild members were up til Midnight last night just talking abt life and where we wanna travel and our jobs and education and Everything !! it was so wholesome and nice and so just idk. pure and innocent and Fun to just have casual conversations with ppl that were complete strangers 2 weeks ago, but who ive gotten closer to and now can have those nice long convos with !! and it was all just in the guild chat so anyone could read the next day lol but idc ! it was fun! plus my name on the game is selene which is Not my real name lol i just like the name a lot and it always makes me giggle when they say “lol, i know right selene??” and stuff and im like heh.. yea, das me 😎 idk the guild leader gave me the “life of the party” tag and said she loves my energy and it just feels so good bc i know i am just so cripplingly socially anxious irl and that’s why i can talk so easily online and love talking online so much more. like im still ME, but… not Fully being perceived to a point where i feel uncomfy or anything LOL . it’s been nice

i think imma keep playing after the month is up, i rly enjoy my guild and the ppl ive met thru it :’)

ANYWAYS!! i also think im gonna go to therapy/go to my family doctor to get reccs on therapists and maybe a psychiatrist? psychologist? idk i wanna get evaluated for… well let’s just save that for when i get evaluated bc if i don’t even have anything wrong with me and my dumbass rly gets laughed out of the office by the doctor saying “LUL no u rly just gotta try harder bruh” imma feel like a damn Fool LMAO. BUT yeah. that’ll hopefully be a thing i book this month.

also gonna be responsible and Not over spend on food when i get paid, like delivery and whatnot… but i Will be buying lifetime subscriptions to a couple japanese apps on my phone that i think will be easy access and help me learn japanese to a point of comfortability before i start college again. 😎

OKAY IM DONE WHEW. rant over :)

[honking-up-a-storm]

6/23/23

Using this page to start off the day cuz idc that there's some doodles already on it. I think it's gonna be another slow day, 4 handicap spots are open, more open past the entrance, and the main lot is very empty. It could fill up who knows, but my hopes aren't very high. Funny how active online I was in 16'-17', maybe it's because that's when a lot of current websites came out that have a clear record. Ungh, I want to do something where is everyone? I guess I can get some reading done today. As long as my feet hold up I guess. I knew there would be slow days, but slow and standing in one spot is killing me. Oh! I bought the book so I can properly do this, it should be coming in 5-14 days, though the seller is in state so it should be quick enough. One car, not gonna touch it since it has the handicap adapter on it, I could drive it but I don't wanna adjust the settings. I think this writing is good for a least cracking a dent in this book. Had a very deep dream where things were okay again, makes no sense. If it's a premonition, I don't want it. Could try reaching out to her though. I feel bad and I miss her. Taking the easy way out isn't cute. There's totally shit going through my head right now that's too fast to write FFS. It's cuz I'm thinking about IT, which is annoying. I've exhausted all thoughts on the subject, made my conclusions, pretty much moved on less than a week later due to good timing on the new circles. I guess I'm frustrated with my exit. I had more time than I thought. I guess it's only natural to have wanted things to go your way. It just sucks cuz I wasn't attached to those thoughts and words anymore and the grief I have for them is still very potent no matter how much I try to hide and deny It. I find it odd too that I didn't feel sad after, I thought over the scenario so many times that I was sure I'd just fall apart, but I didn't and don't feel sorry for myself cuz I was a full-on bitch who deserved it. The frustration and grief are what linger. And I think grief is the appropriate word bc jesus christ I loved them, I loved all of them and I don't know why I was that fucking monstrous (Well therapy helped find the route of that but still, tldr: Family source, took that kinda shit talking as a normal way to vent and be done with it bc worse shit has gone around the house and yet everyone claims to love each other, should have never done it to my friends). And I'm frustrated because jesus christ even though I don't remember much of the exit I know I was just spewing bullshit and was pissed beyond hell that it was happening while I was not in a good spot mentally and physically. They probably think I threw myself into therapy because of the situation, but nah it's because for the first time in my life I let myself stand a little too close to the edge of the train platform and envisioned some things. But shit the only thing that stopped me was my own fear of death and that girl who got her leg torn off by the green line a few days prior. Anywho I'm glad I'm better, obviously not cured or perfect but much much better. My paranoia is gone, I'm less irritable, and life is just enjoyable again. It's kinda funny how I'm working a job where I was only in it for the money (financial issues strike again when the V work is said) but like I'm having like actual fun working, it's literally the perfect job for someone with ADHD, every day is different and I get to move a lot, interact with a lotta people. Also like I work with cars all day, I love driving. I'm in my pink era, I'm starting to love life again.

Notes:

A - Truman show/ Fleabagging, mirroring, mimicking, repeating, fixations, extremely picky with food, shutdown rather than lash out

M - Overstimulation, IFYKYK, sensory issues

N - Can drive, good balance

it feels like summer again

I am made up of so many things

Gift of the day from funny old dude regular: 3 Musketeers bar

"FTM" license plate is real

[ddejavvu]

stepdad!sirius teaching shy and innocent reader how to touch herself (she's of age ofc!)

hope it's okay with u and i didn't make u uncomfy with that request — if i did then im sorry!!!

~ 🐇

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

a quick note (copied from my last post just in case you missed it): i totally understand if you're not into stepcest! i personally am not upset by it as my boundaries are sexually illegal acts, and it's not illegal. but everyone has different boundaries, and this happens to be the darkest thing i've ever posted on this blog. i understand if you want no part of this, so if you'd like to avoid this content in the future, block #dark mei (at the bottom of this post) to avoid it! I will not judge you for not wanting to read this or see it, and i ask that you please do not send hate towards me for writing it, or the anon for requesting it. everyone has different tastes, and i'm here to indulge pretty much anything that isn't illegal.

on with the blurb! this post is 18+ and dark, minors dni. reader is 18+ in this.

god i’m such a whore for the ‘teaching reader how to touch herself’ plotline like idc who it’s with it’s always so hot

--

Your fingers squirmed aimlessly through your folds, disappointingly bringing no pleasurable sensation. You’d been trying for almost five minutes to find a good spot, a nice pace, anything that felt good at all, but nothing was happening.

You’d gotten curious only a few moments earlier, finally deciding that you wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. You didn’t know why there was so much buzz over touching yourself, frankly it felt quite lackluster, but you wanted to feel as good as everyone said you would.

You were so caught up in attempting to pleasure yourself, twisting your fingers this way and that, that you failed to hear the creak of your door opening, a soft cry spilling from your lips as the only sensation you gained from the experience was pain. You were on the verge of giving up when you heard a soft chuckle from the doorway, eyes blowing wide open as you turned to see who had stumbled upon you.

Sirius, your recently married stepdad, stood in the doorway, one eyebrow cocked pitifully at you, “Oh, darling, that’s not how it’s done.”

The tone of his voice, condescending and saccharine-sweet had a strange feeling brewing in your tummy, the domineering stance he held in your doorway only adding to it. You quickly removed your fingers from under the hem of your panties, cheeks ablaze as you tried acting normal.

“’M sorry, Sirius,” You choked on a sob that came fast to your throat, “I know ‘m not supposed to, but-”

“But you wanted to feel good, yeah?” He stepped through the gap of the door, shutting it softly behind him as he made his way over to your bed, perching on the end of it.

You nodded bashfully, “Mhm, but it doesn’t work. Can’t stop hurting,” You did not miss the twinges of pain that came from your core as you’d fumbled with the concept, glad that you’d had an excuse to take your fingers out.

“Honey,” His voice was dripping now with more condescension than ever, “That’s ‘cause you’re not even wet. Y’gotta get excited first, then it’ll feel better.”

“Really?” Your eyes were wide as you stared up at him from where you laid, “How do I get wet?”

“Do y’want me to show you, baby?” Sirius offered, something sadistic behind his falsely helpful eyes.

“You’ll help me feel good?” You verified, tummy still brewing with the same funny sensation.

“Of course,” He smiled, nodding softly, “Anything for my baby girl.”

You returned his smile, shuffling on the bed so that your legs were on either side of him. He reached slowly for the hemline of your panties, your tummy practically cartwheeling inside of you. His fingers, long and slender and worn, peeled back the layer of fabric as he peered down at you.

“Well, m’pretty thing, it looks like we’re getting somewhere already.”

“What do you mean?”

“Does it feel kinda funny in there?” Sirius let the hem of your panties go, resting his hand on your tummy. You nodded, his touch amplifying the sensation swirling inside of you.

“That’s what I thought,” Sirius smirked, “That’s you gettin’ wet, baby.” He returned to your panties, sliding the material down your thighs, “‘Think it’s ‘cause I’m here helpin’ you.”

“You think I get wet because of you?” You silently committed the information to memory, promising yourself to go back later and think about what it was about Sirius that got you excited.

“Yeah baby,” He cooed, ghosting a finger over your cunt, sending a quick tremble through your legs, “So that means that whenever y’wanna feel good, y’gotta think about me. That’ll do it, okay?”

“Okay,” Your voice came out strained and soft, “I will, I promise.”

“That’s m’good girl,” Sirius smiled down at you, gently easing a finger into your cunt. You sucked in a harsh breath at the touch, expecting the same spurts of pain as you’d experienced before, but instead a gentle tingling sensation accompanied his touch, “Now, let’s make y’feel really good.”

[dandeliononthemoon]

can i request again? ONLY if you are okay with that! delete this ask if it is too much!

6 that goes to 50 that goes to 45

for the superior ship Warnette (if you choose to do this, you can make it holiday themed cause of prompt 6!)

Girl, the way I almost wanted to refer to Believe Me because some things happen there (you really need to read it)

But! Rest assured, I have kept it super spoiler free for Believe Me

This got a lot longer than my other drabbles, so yeah idk

OH and it is holiday themed, still christmas, because it is still christmas till new year, idc what you say

Enjoy :)

Fandom: Shatter Me

Pairing: Aaron Warner x Juliette Ferrars/Ella Sommers

Prompt(s): 6. Wild, breathless kisses brought on by a heartfelt gift, 45. Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed, 50. A kiss, followed by more that trail down the jaw and neck

Words: 1506

“Nazeera, why didn’t you pick up your phone? I called you 5 times”

Juliette was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat, whispering.

“You know that people might be sleeping now? Or doing something else, that might be disturbing”, Nazeera replied annoyed. Juliette heard rustling, like bedsheets being moved around.

“I know, but I need your help”

“Couldn’t it wait until morning?”

“Well, it technically could but I am freaking out now”

“Are you okay?”, Nazeera asked with concern, then added “Wait. Kenji stop, I am talking to your best friend and there is something wrong”

Juliette heard more rustling and then heard a very loud and concerned “What?”

“Princess, are you okay, do we need to come down there?”

“Oh, Kenji, hi! No, it is not like that”, she sighed, “I am just concerned what to give Aaron for Christmas so I called up Nazeera cause she knows him the longest so she might help.

“Oh, and I can’t? We bonded quite well, you know, Warner and I”

“I don’t think he would agree”, Juliette heard Nazeera saying in the background.

“Well, he is an idiot”, he replied.

And then said, “Wait, so this was your emergency?”

“Yeah well, it will be our first proper Christmas after everything, and we had decided to let it be a traditional thing, where we celebrate it one day, just us. But I want to give him something and I can’t think what”.

She really wanted to do something special, every year, to make up for every Christmas he missed.

“J, first of all, it is not even November. Second, you know he is absolutely smitten on you? Like, whatever you give him, he will be so happy, like he has never been happy before, which is, sadly, kinda true. I am sure you can figure it out, and if you can’t, call us in the morning, okay? Now let us sleep”

“But-“

“You need a good night sleep, J, and we too, so go sleep, and let us sleep too”

Juliette sighed, she supposed it was quite an ungodly hour to call for something not exactly life endangering.

“You are right, I will think about it in the morning, goodnight” and hung up.

She flopped her chin on her hands. What am I going to do, Juliette thought.

“Ella?”, a sleepy voice called out.

Oh no, he’s noticed that she wasn’t there.

So she tiptoed back in the room and slipped in the bed, snuggling in his arms. Aaron let out a content sigh and resumed sleeping. But Juliette couldn’t sleep, at least not right away. She had to think of something.

---

Christmas day was approaching and it was visible. Their house was decorated with all sorts of lights, the tree full of small ornaments, some hand-made by Juliette, some bought. Aaron and Juliette took a day to decorate it together, after much insisting on Juliette’s side. But somehow Aaron insisted on hanging the little ornaments Juliette made around the house. And while those were done, there was also some extra decoration.

Mistletoes.

Everywhere, not a spot missed.

“What? There was a lot of mistletoe in house, I thought, why waste”, he said with an innocent shrug and a suppressed smile.

“We never bought mistletoe”, her eyebrow arched, with a bemused smile on her lips

“Santa gave them”

“Aaron, we don’t have stockings hanging, and by the way, who is this Santa?” Juliette narrowed her eyes

“Oh look mistletoe”, and before Juliette could react, Aaron gave a smoldering kiss that left her breathless and made her forget her question.

“I have to go pick up the cards, bye”, Aaron said before hurrying out the house.

Juliette shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile.

Aaron was a lot happier now, more relaxed. Even though there is still so much work to do, he was easing in to this new life and she loved seeing him this way.

As soon as he left, Juliette called Nazeera up.

“Have you gotten the clips and the lights? I really need to have them now”

“Don’t worry, I have them. Is Warner out?

“Yes, you can bring them now”

“Okay, see you in a bit”

And she hung up.

Juliette couldn’t wait till Christmas.

---

“Honey, as much I love this little game, I am getting impatient, what are you doing?” Aaron called out from his seat on the sofa in the living room. Juliette had gone in the bedroom to do something that he didn’t know what and it really made him curious.

“Just a minute”

After a bit she came out, with an eager smile. “Okay, close your eyes”

“Why, what are you going to do?”

“You are asking too many questions, should I get a blindfold instead?”

“Well if it is going to be like that then maybe, yes” Aaron had a teasing smile.

Juliette rolled her eyes. She went around him and covered his eyes with her hands.

“Get up”

“Okay, my supreme commander”

She pushed him on to the direction of the bedroom. Juliette opened the door to let him in and closed the door behind him, careful to still cover his eyes with one hand.

She removed her hands from his eyes. “Okay, you may open your eyes”

Aaron slowly opened his eyes and looked all around the room before he noticed what was going on. His eyes traveled to the walls, the cupboard, the dresser, every corner of the room.

He turned to the small cupboard beside the door and touched the photograph on it. It was a picture of two kids, one boy with almost white hair and green eyes, showing something to a girl beside him, a brunette with long hair and smiling at the thing. Then he noticed the photo beside it, again the same kids, but now them at the dinner table. It seemed like there was a celebration going on.

Aaron took a step towards the wall beside it, where a light string was hung up horizontally, across the wall, with photos hanging from it. Photos of the same two kids, photos of the boy with other kids, playing, eating, laughing, photos of the boy with an older woman who had a jade ring on her, feeding the boy, holding him up.

And there were so many like these all over the walls in the room, on the nightstands, on the dresser.

Aaron turned back, with tears in his eyes. Juliette had the same, smiling.

“How-, where-” Aaron started.

“I started collecting these photos a few months ago. Nazeera helped for the most part.

“You know how I had gotten the photo of us in my old room in New Zealand? Well, I wanted to know if there were more, so I searched. That is partly why I took the trip there with Nazeera so I could find them. So I collected as much as I could, I am not sure if there is more, but this is all I got.

Juliette looked up, Aaron was now standing not a half a meter from her. “I wanted to make this Christmas special for you, so that we could make new memories, but I also wanted to keep the good parts of our childhood so-“

Juliette got cut off with a deep kiss. Aaron’s hands were pressed against her back, crushing her in his embrace, as if he never ever wanted her to go. She relaxed in the kiss and brought her hands in his hair, deepening the kiss even further.

Aaron pulled away. “Thank you”, he whispered, with so much emotion, that half of it was spilled down on his cheeks. He brushed away her hair from her face and cupped it. With his voice rough, he said, “I-, you have done so much for me, and every day I am so thankful that you exist, that you are in my life.” He smiled as he said, “That you are my wife”. The corners of Juliette’s lips curled up.

“I love you, Ella, I love you”, and he kissed her again. His lips trailed down her chin, to her jaw.

“I love you too, Aaron”, Juliette said softly, while closing her eyes. Her fingers combed through his hair and her thumb brushed the nape of his neck.

He sucked on her jaw, then on the neck, which made Juliette arch her chest into his, pressing her body against him.

Aaron pushed her against the wall, hip grinding against hers. Juliette moaned.

He lifted her up and on the way to bed, he bumped against the small cupboard and the columns of the bed before he dropped her gently on the bed, his hands splayed beside her head.

“Words are not enough to show how much I love and appreciate what you’ve done, so I am going to show it in a different way”

Juliette smirked and asked with mock confusion, “Oh yeah? How?”

“You’ll see”, Aaron replied mischievously and kissed her again, which led to so much more.

[vosiro]

⇾ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurō x F!reader

⇾ Warnings: this shit nasty fr 18+, also CEO!Kuroo bc that’s sexy,

⇾ Authors note: In honor of my husbands birthday, I decided to write this nasty ass shit😜. See, ion know what demon POSSESSED me to write this but...🧍🏾‍♀️anyway, Y/n is implied black, but if you’re not black it’s ite!! There will be some use of AAVE on Y/n’s part tho, and she not finna be one of them “I-I-...b-but k-kuroo!” Shy bitches NONE OF DHET. She a bad bitch and that’s on prd. (Shy bitches still bad doe!!) is this self indulgent? Yea idc 💃🏾

≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣ ≣

It was officially November 17, your husband’s birthday. When you had woken up, kuroo had already left for work, so the bed was empty. For the past week and a half you’ve been contemplating what to get him. You see, for your birthday, kuroo always showered you in gifts, money, clothes, anything you wanted. That was exactly the problem. Kuroo had the money, the expenses and the power to get anything either you or him wanted, what could you possible get him that he couldn’t already afford himself. For the past couple years y’all were married, you two always went to some fancy restaurant to eat, then went to a hotel to have some casual birthday sex. This year, you wanted it to be different, you wanted it to be special.

You walked into your local bar in a thin, golden bodycon dress, with a black, expensive fluffy jacket, that just made your skin pop. You just looked like walking money. And ofcourse kuroo had to have his girl walking around with that Hermes Birkin 30cm Himalayan with diamond hardware. You looked around the bar before you saw kiyoko waiting at a table. “Heyy shimizu” you gleamed, sitting down at the empty seat across from kiyoko. “Hey, Y/n-Chan” she replied, passing you the drink that was preordered.

“So.” You sigh.

“So? What’s wrong?” Kiyoko questioned.

“I don’t know what to get tetsu for his birthday...” you replied, taking a sip of your drink.

“I’m sure he’ll like anything you get him.” She reassured.

“Girl, but listen...This man got 4 cars, 3 houses, a visa black card, and a bad ass bitch. What more does he need...wtf do you be getting ryōsuke for his birthday??” You questioned

“Well, he usually likes anything I get him. It’s all about the thought y/n. You love him right? Any gift from your heart, he’ll like.” Kiyoko answered.

“Girrrr....you right, you right. Matter ah fact, I have an idea.” You grabbed your lil birkin bag and started to get out the chair “thank you shimizu! Make sure you get to the party at 7:30, tetsu’ll be back at 8!” You said as you rushed out the bar.

You made your way to the expensive lingerie store that was right next to the penthouse you live in with your husband. You quickly entered the store, looking around for something sexy, but cute, but nasty. Kuroo would never admit it, but he gets flustered easily. When you bend over, when you lean down infront of him and he gets a nice view of your tits, when your skirt’s a little too short, when you call him in the middle of a business meeting, and he has to excuse himself so he can fuck his fist to your moans and cries over the phone. You knew exactly how to rile him up, and that’s one of the things he loved about you.

You’ve been browsing the lingere sets at the store for a while, before you see it. A perfect thin, red, sexy, lingerie with garter belts. Not to toot your own horn or anything, but this would just make your skin pop. You quickly grab the set and pay for it, making your way back to the penthouse after.

———————————————————————

It was currently 7:58. Kuroo was expected to arrive at 8. Guests were under the table, hiding behind chairs, any possible place a person could squeeze themselves into. You were hiding under behind the kitchen counter with kiyoko. “Psst. Shimu,” you whispered.

“I’m right here y/n..” she replied.

“Right... anyway, guess what I got tetsu for his birthday.” You asked eagerly.

“Your love and affection??” She answered.

“Girl no...well yes...but no.” You said.

“Then what?” Kiyoko questioned.

“I got 𝐿𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒.” You replied

“You’re making him wear lingerie??” She said.

“...😏” You smirked

“I’m kiddi-”

*clack*

The door to the penthouse opened slowly and everyone let out a big

“SURPRISE!”

Bokuto ran up to kuroo and gave him a big bear hug “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!” he exclaimed. Kuroo went around greeting everyone, and thanking them for showing up. You were still talking with kiyoko before he started to approach you. “I should leave you two alone.” She she said before walking away to talk with her own husband.

“You planned all of this for me, baby?” He cooed as he took you into his arms for a hug, “yessuh, anything for you.” You said nuzzling your face into his chest. He started to place small kisses down your neck “fuck...I missed you...” His breath was hot against your skin “not here...let’s wait till the party’s over okay, babe?” You wanted to, you wanted to so bad... but one thing about kuroo is he goes feral when you make him wait

———————————————————————

11:00. The last few guests had left a while ago, and kuroo had just got done finishing his shower after you had yours. He walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, his chiseled chest on full display. This man was always so damn fine, like whew fuck it’s getting hot in hea fr. He sat next to you and started kissing ur collar bone, slowly removing your robe from your skin.

“You don’t understand how bad I wanted to fuck you,” He whispered into your skin. “I was hard the entire night...”

He completely removed the robe from your skin. “Oya? What’s this, baby?”

“Surprise.” You moaned slightly as he slid his hands to grip your ass “tonight, I’ll let you do anything you want to me..”

He halted in his movements “anything?”

“Mhm~” you reassured

You reach down to palm him through the towel, “someone’s really excited.” You say as you stroke him slowly. “That’s because my girl looks so damn sexy right now...and she’s letting me do whatever I want tonight.” Kuroo reaches down to rub circles on your clit.

“Mm~” he stick his tongue down your mouth as you let out your moan. “You’re so wet...it’s seeping through your panties and spilling onto my fingers..” he grins “only for you, daddy..” you say.”

“Fuck..the whole day I was thinking about coming home and fucking you... I even jerked off to the thought of you at work today,” He flipped you over onto your hands and knees, “Now you’re here...all sexy for me.” The towel slid off, and so did your panties as well. “I’m gonna fuck you so good baby, you won’t be able to walk or talk after..” he cooed, rubbing his tip along your folds

“W-wait tetsu, you just not gon prep me or n-fuck!!” He slammed his cock into you with a deep groan.

“Just Shutup and t-take it... fuckk...you’re tight.” He moved in and out of your cunt at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Faster daddy..” you moaned out

“Yea? My baby’s feeling good?” He picked up his pace and started jamming into you harder. You lifted your body up slightly. “Stay the fuck down.” He growled as he grabbed your neck, not wanting to mess up your hair. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good baby.” He was picking up the paste and hitting that one spot he knew you liked. You were moaning loudly into the pillow before he flipped you over onto your back.

“I wanna see that pretty face when I fuck you.” He started fucking you slowly in mission watching his dick get covered in your cream as went in and out. He then took your hand and put it on your lower stomach. “You feel that baby?” He picked up his pace slightly. “You feel how deep I am? Fuck.” His eyes were tainted with lust, and cheeks painted with blush. Your hand felt each and every thrust he was putting into you.

“F-fuck tetsu, you’re so big..” you whimpered. Kuroo was always a sucker for praise. “Yea? Look at you, you’re such a good girl taking all of it.” He groaned out.

“Open your mouth baby.” He stuck two fingers in your mouth coating them in saliva, then slowly sheathing them into your other right hole. You whine out at the stretch. “I want both of my kitten’s holes to be filled tonight.” He let out as he stretched your ass.

“Shit, relax baby, you’re so tight you’re gonna cut off my circulation.”

“F-feels s’good” you moaned as he continued to satisfy both your holes. “C’mere baby.” He pulled you into the reverse cowgirl position. “You knew what you were doing naughty girl” he groaned as you bounced on his dick “shit...dressing up...fuck...like that.” You were squeezing him so tightly and it just felt so good.

“Yes, I knew..mm~” there was no point in lying, you knew exactly how kuroo would react. He landed a smack on your ass “I’ll have to punish you princess,” you heard a spit noise come from behind you, then felt a warm trail of saliva roll down onto you right puckered ass hole. Kuroo massaged the liquid around the hole “fuck, you think my dick would fit in here? My cum dripping out of you pussy and you ass? That’s so sexy..” you winced as he stuck his thumb inside. “Shi.. does it feel that good? You like that? You’re squeezing so tight, fuck.” He groped your ass, letting out a low moan.

“Suck your cream off my dick baby.”

“Yes daddy.” You replied getting off of him and on your knees. You take his girth cock into your mouth. You started bobbing your head quickly, tasting yourself on his dick. He place a firm grip on the top of your head. “Y-yes, just like tha...mm.. fuck.. your so good to me baby.” His hips started bucking into your mouth roughly, you could tell he was close “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

He grabbed your head halting you to stop. “I wanna cum inside you..”

“Then do it daddy, cum inside me...”

“Fuck. Get on your hands and knees.”

He slid back into you once again letting out a deep moaning after regaining stimulation “how are you still this fucking t-tight...no matter how hard I fuck you...fuck.” He leaned forward and stuck his fingers in your mouth while pounding you into the mattress.

“Mm~ tetsu I’m close~” you whined out

“Yeah? Cum for me baby, milk my cock, I’m gonna stuff you so good.” Ah yes, an even more feral kuroo...truly delicous. “I’m gonna fill you up with my kids...fuck what if you get pregnant.” He groaned. “You’d look so cute with your tummy swollen.” He started picking up his paste, pounding into your sweet spot even harder. “Tetsu, I’m- nngh~ fuck.” Your orgasm washed over you, you were completely fucked out, but he still kept pounding into you.

“Fuck. That’s right, cum on my dick.” One of his arms were on the headboard while the other was wrapped so comfortably around your neck. “C’mon baby. Cum for me one more time. I know you can do it.” He grunted

“I c-cant tetsu.” Your body was still shaking in ecstasy. “Yes you can, c’mon” The hand around your neck reached down to rub your wet clit rough and fast. Needless to say he had you cumming in no time. “Fuck fuck fuck tetsu-”

“Shit, I’m almost there baby, just hold on for a littl- fuck.. bit more.” His thrust started to grow sloppy. “Fuck, I’m cu-uh..nngh.” He let out the most deep and beautiful moan as he spilled his seed into you with one last thrust. You fell onto your back and kuroo right on to of you.

“Fuck baby, that was the best birthday present ever.” He huffed, still out of breath

“Mm~ tetsu! You went too rough..now I’m finna be aching all day. My entire body hurts.” Yo complained.

“Atleast your sexy and in pain.” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Stfu.”

Fin.

———————————————————————

Did I proof read this? No🧜🏽‍♀️ anyways I wish kuroo a happy birthday mwah 🥰

Me writing plot: 🤮👺🤢👹

Me writing sex scenes: 😏🌝😜🥰

[lovingmyselfcore]

(and it dies) a million little times

Part 1 of 2:

For you I would ruin myself

I have to post something so I still feel like I'm accomplishing things while I write (what was going to just be the other half of this) the second part of this. And also while I wait for inspiration so strike for Protect You or Skate Into My Heart because I promise I haven't given up but I have commITMENT ISSUES LEAVE ME ALONE

ANYWAY this is for@the-love-yourself-journal (or I guess @perseusjackson-jasongrace) who is the literal queen of Jercy idc. She got me to ship them in the first place so thanks babe

Ps Percy isn't white because canon Percy isn't white fight me

It felt wrong, hiding such a secret from her. He and Annabeth had always been honest with each other, it was why they had been drawn together from the moment they met.

She was definitely the best marriage option he had seen. Despite that, despite being able to converse with each other in a way that most married couples they knew could not, there was something missing.

When he’d met the blonde-haired boy, he realized what it was.

Percy had struggled his entire life with this. This sickness. It had always been drilled into his mind that people experiencing what he was experiencing was wrong, sinful, in fact. So he never spoke of it. Never spoke of being attracted more to the boy next door than the girl. Never spoke of the fact that aside from his wedding night, years ago, he’d never had sex. He couldn’t. Not with her. Not with any her.

Laughing blue eyes, annoyingly perfect teeth.

He couldn’t tell her. At best, she’d laugh, then ignore it. At worst, she’d tell everyone, and he couldn’t imagine what would happen to him then.

A horrific death on the street, most likely, followed by a long, agonizing stay in Hell for his sins.

A small, faded scar on his upper lip from his childhood.

Percy was sitting at his desk in his office, pretending to work while actually waiting for him to appear. As always before he actually showed up, Percy’s mind ran rampant. His own brain spat insults at him, his gut twisted at what he was doing. What he was doing to Annabeth. His heart screamed at him for not being able to stop himself, from not fighting harder to go back to being in love with Annabeth, despite knowing he’d never been. His soul longed for its other half.

The way his nose would scrunch when he laughed, the laugh only Percy could draw out of him.

Percy shifted in his chair. His tie was too tight around his neck, he was going to suffocate. Maybe he should. The clock continued ticking, as it always did.

The feel of his hands, on his face, his hips, his back.

“He is here to see you, Mr. Jackson.”

“Send him in.” Voice professional, practiced, despite the lurch in his gut. His brain, his heart, his soul all screamed louder, arguing their own points. Waging their violent war within him.

As always, the sight of him quieted them all.

Percy stood, adjusting his tie, and made his way over to the man leaning against his now closed door. His throat bobbed as Percy approached.

Percy lifted a hand and traced that scar, his voice barely above total silence, “I’ve missed you.”

Jason Grace’s breath was hot on his hand. His voice matched Percy’s, “You will be my ruination.”

“You are already mine.” Then Percy lunged forward, capturing his lips.

Looks like his soul had won this one. Again.

~~~~~

Piper McLean fidgeted uncomfortably with the hem of her skirt. She’d ruined many perfectly good skirts like this. Sitting. Waiting.

“Sooner or later you’re going to completely unravel one of those.” Piper looked up and was met with gray eyes. The same gray eyes that had been staring at her all day. She’d been staring right back.

“The children’s break is short,” Piper murmured back, standing from her stool.

“Indeed,” Annabeth replied, moving forward to take Piper’s hands.

“What are we doing?” Piper’s voice was hoarse, scratchy. “We have husbands.”

“Indeed.” Was all Annabeth said again, her grip on Piper’s hands tightening.

“I love Jason,” Piper said, mostly to herself.

Annabeth’s lips pursed, “I love Percy.” She took another step forward, Piper was almost completely pressed against her teaching desk. She dropped Piper’s hands to cup her face, and Piper’s eyes fluttered closed in response. “But not like I love you.”

Piper opened her eyes, “We are going to destroy each other.”

“I would gladly destroy myself for you, moya solnishka.”

“Don’t you feel bad?” The distress in Piper’s voice forced Annabeth to pull back. Her eyes held a level of concern that made Piper’s breath catch.

“I do,” She conceded after a moment of silence, “For lying to Percy. For lying to everyone in my life. For having to hide you. For having to hide us. But I do not feel bad for loving you.” Her voice held a note of desperation, she was begging Piper to understand. “Do you?”

Piper didn’t respond for a beat too long, Annabeth pulled further away, her face flushed.

Their time was up, the laughter of the children echoed through the schoolhouse as they returned.

“I’m sorry,” Piper said.

Annabeth shook her head, “No, Piper. I’m sorry.” Her eyes were miserable, “Forgive me.”

For what? Piper tried to ask but the lump in her throat stopped her.

“I have ruined you,” Annabeth said simply. “I am forcing you to go along with my sins.” Her back was straight, her face was empty, but Piper could see how hard she was fighting to keep it that way.

Piper shook her head but Annabeth didn’t see it, she was walking out of the door already.

Oh, gods. What had she done?

~~~~~

“How was your day?” Jason asked his tone the same forced lightness it had been for months.

“It was good! Nothing out of the ordinary.” Her tone was the same.

Jason nodded from his seat at the couch, “Good. That’s very good.”

“What about you?” Piper’s hands were shaking as she laid the plates on the table.

“My day was the same,” Jason said as he slid into a chair at the table.

Piper looked at him for a long moment and came to a decision.

“Jason?” She asked, clutching her fork tightly.

“Yes?” He looked up from his plate.

“I would like to visit a friend after dinner.”

Jason nodded, “Of course. I’ll invite over one of my coworkers while you’re gone.”

As they resumed their meal, they seemed lighter than they had all evening.

~~~~~

Piper knew she couldn’t very well just appear on Annabeth’s doorstep, so after she washed the evening dishes she called her.

Her fingers were heavy as she slid the ring to dial the numbers she had long ago memorized.

Piper’s hopes were answered when Annabeth was the one to pick up the phone.

“Annabeth,” She was breathless. “I-” She remembered Jason and her voice dropped low, “I need to see you.”

Annabeth was speechless and Piper wished she could see her face, “May I see you?”

Annabeth’s voice was just as low with an edge Piper couldn’t name, “Yes. Yes. Meet me.”

She didn’t have to say where. Piper knew. The place they’d always meet at. That secret place, filled with their sin. Their secrets. Their agonized love.

Piper hurriedly stuck the phone back in its place and pulled her coat over her shoulders. She kissed Jason on the cheek and was out the front door before he could respond.

~~~~~

Jason sat, bouncing his leg until Piper had been gone for long enough. (It may not have even been long enough, it was just until he could not wait any longer.)

He raced to the phone and dialed the number engraved on his heart.

“Hello?” Percy asked. Thank god. Jason hadn’t thought of a decent excuse to give Annabeth if she’d been the one to answer.

“Can you get away tonight?” Jason asked.

Percy waited for a beat, as if in thought, before responding. “Yes, I can.”

Jason smiled, “Piper is out for the evening. You could come here.”

“I’m on my way.” Jason laughed at how quickly the words fell out of his mouth and the hurried click signifying he hung up.

~~~~~~

Annabeth trailed her lips up the column of Piper’s throat, and breathed deeply through her nose, “Is that a new perfume?” They were in their spot, a dark, shadowy corner in between two factories, hidden away from the rest of the world.

Piper dug her fingers into Annabeth’s shoulders, “Yes,” She knew what Annabeth wanted to ask, but knew she wasn’t going to put Piper in that place. “It’s for you.”

Annabeth froze and pulled an inch away from her spot on Piper’s jaw. “It smells good,” Her voice was hoarse and she resumed her ministrations along Piper’s jawline.

“Annabeth, about this morning-” Annabeth cut her off, shaking her head.

“No. It’s alright, sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize for your feelings, ever.”

“The rest of society would disagree.”

Annabeth understood her meaning and ducked her head to hide her face. “How long can we keep doing this?” Desperation.

“I don’t know,” Piper wrapped her arms around the other girl’s shoulders and pulled her flush against her.

Piper breathed deeply, feeling the warmth of Annabeth’s body, a stark contrast to the metal of the factory wall at her back. “All we can do is live in the moment.” Piper pulled Annabeth’s face away from her neck. “Damn the rest to hell.”

Annabeth nodded, “Damn the rest to hell.” Then they were kissing again.

~~~~~~~

When the doorbell rang Jason raced to answer it, feeling like an excited puppy.

Percy was leaning against one of the pillars on the porch. He was beautiful; Jason had yet to see a time where he wasn’t. Shining green eyes, so painfully alive, that black hair Jason knew he frequently fought with to make it ‘work appropriate’. The lean, toned body that Jason often found himself staring at, or thinking of.

Percy was surveying the neighborhood, the picture of unruffled aside from the tightness in his lips. When he heard Jason open the door, that tightness vanished, replaced instead by the grin that Jason had fallen in love with in the first place.

Whoa. Reel that back in. Calm down, Grace. No love here. Just a drug that always gave him the high he needed. No love. That makes it too serious. This is harmless fun. Well, not harmless.

“Jason?” Percy interrupted his spiral and Jason realized he’d been staring silently, that he hadn’t let Percy inside.

He shook his head, “Sorry.” He stepped back, opening the door wider. Percy walked in and threw himself on the couch, looking perfectly content and at home. As if what they were doing wouldn’t result in pain, physical and emotional.

He could always go back, he reminded himself. There was always an out. He was addicted to the poison that was Percy Jackson, but he could always escape.

The click of the door closing was a death sentence.

He could always get out, right?

~~~~~~~

It had been a few days since Annabeth and Piper had seen each other, the two women were teachers at the same school, yet they always seemed to miss each other. In the hallways, the break room, before and after classes, they could never catch more than fleeting glances and the swish of hair and hips around a corner. Annabeth was determined to change this.

She saw a flash of brown hair that she immediately registered as Piper, glancing at the clock to make sure she had enough time before her students were expecting her, she nearly sprinted after the other girl.

Piper was leaning against the wall when Annabeth found her, grinning. Her eyes, shards of multicolored glass Annabeth always found herself drowning in, were glittering in the harsh light. Annabeth stalked closer and Piper’s grin didn’t fade.

“Oh no,” She drawled, leaning enough to rest a hand in the curve of Annabeth’s waist, attempting to tug her forward. “You caught me.” Annabeth couldn’t resist Piper’s smile and met it with her own, the smile she only gave Piper. “What will I, this poor damsel, do?”

This was risky. This was really fucking risky. They were basically out in the open, where another teacher or staff member or even the students could easily find them.

Piper reached up and drew the pad of her finger against that crease in Annabeth’s brow and Annabeth knew she was done for. Piper smiled, this one soft and adoring, and Annabeth melted through the floor.

Annabeth gave up on trying to stay as unaffected as possible, pressing her lips to Piper’s. Piper pressed herself closer as if she was trying to mold them into one person. The soft, smooth contours of Piper against Annabeth’s sharp, hard edges of Annabeth was like some kind of poetry. It was probably a metaphor about who they were as people, blah blah blah. She didn’t have time to think about damn metaphors. Not while Piper was here, kissing her like she actually wanted this. Like she’d do anything to keep this. Annabeth knew it wasn’t true, knew Piper wouldn’t ruin her life for this. (She didn’t blame her, but it was nice to pretend sometimes)

Piper smiled into the kiss and mumbled, “This is nothing like how the fairytales normally go.” Annabeth let out a surprised laugh.

Piper pulled away, staring unflinchingly into Annabeth’s eyes, the storms she was responsible for keeping at bay. “Gods,” She turned her head and Annabeth had no idea where this was going with this. “This is better than any of those fairy tales.” Then she moved, winding her hands into Annabeth’s hair, and kissed her again.

Gods, she’d fallen for this girl. She had no idea when it had happened. Maybe 30 seconds ago, maybe the first time they’d met, three years ago. Maybe it was when Percy was on business trips, which meant that Annabeth could work without anyone to make her sleep, eat or anything ‘healthy’ and Piper would come over. Make her take breaks from her work. Listen to Annabeth rant about things she knew she didn’t understand. Annabeth had so many plans, to escape this hell town, fight for her rights, build something permanent somewhere she loves with someone she loves and be unafraid to live. She also had even more impossible dreams; to build something. Piper humored her, always listened to her, attention never wavering. It was more than Annabeth could ever ask for.

She was more than Annabeth could ever ask for.

Annabeth pulled away, telling her as much and something flashed in those kaleidoscope eyes but she didn’t respond.

“Piper?” Hazel’s voice echoed into the hallway they were in. Piper leaped off of her, hurrying to straighten herself.

Hazel rounded the corner right as Piper and Annabeth had gotten themselves together.

The woman smiled at them and looked at Piper when she spoke, “Leo needs to see you,” Piper opened her mouth but Hazel cut her off, “I have no idea why.”

"Okay, thanks," Piper said, definitely too out of breath for it to be anything but suspicious. Piper hesitated a second longer, fighting to not look back at Annabeth but finally, she walked off.

Annabeth smiled awkwardly at Hazel and the other girl grinned but it quickly turned somber, "I don't know what you're doing, Annabeth." She shook her head, "I don't want to know. But I want you to know this," She stepped forward and clasped the other girl's hands in hers. "I care about you. I care about Piper. Be careful, please." Her wide gold eyes were begging, "Be careful, Annabeth."

"I'm trying," Annabeth tried to say but it came out a choked whisper. "I'm trying."

Hazel nodded and leaned forward so they were touching foreheads. "I'm scared for you."

Annabeth wanted to reassure her, but the words got caught in her throat. They both knew Annabeth couldn't promise anything.

~~~~~

Percy was staring at Jason.

This wasn't a rare occurrence, the opposite, actually. Percy could often be found staring at Jason.

But there was something about Jason Grace under the moon and her stars that was absolutely breathtaking.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed, breathing deeply, a small smile on his lips. The starlight seemed to wrap around him, shielding him from the world, announcing him as one of them. His blonde hair was damp from their earlier shower and the moonlight danced through the silky strands. Gods, Percy thought, taking him in, he's ethereal.

He was leaning back on his hands, ankles crossed over the edge of his porch.

They were in Jason's backyard, sharing a smoke; Percy took a long drag, trying to ground himself. Piper would surely be back soon, he didn't have much longer. He needed to come back to earth and distance himself from the star that was Jason Grace.

When Jason's eyes fluttered open and he turned those crystal-blue masterpieces on him, his smile growing into something wide and soft and fond, Percy knew he was done for. Fuck coming back to earth.

Jason reached over, and plucked the cigarette from between Percy's lips, and brought it to his own. He leaned back to stare at the sky again and Percy leaned sideways until his head was pillowed in Jason's lap.

Jason kept one hand on the deck to prop himself up and ground the cigarette out, dropping it to comb his free hand through Percy's hair.

"We should leave," Percy said suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence.

Jason's hand stilled briefly. "What?"

"Leave town, together."

"Where would we go?" He didn't sound angry (thank the gods), he kept his voice soft, but Percy could hear that note of disbelief.

"Anywhere," Percy replied and Jason huffed a laugh above him.

"That's not much of a plan. Besides, we have lives here."

"You're all I need," Percy said, way too sincerely, tracing a pattern on Jason's knee with his index finger.

Jason's hand stilled again and Percy cursed himself and everything that existed to make him say that. Now I've scared him away, Percy thought bitterly and got off Jason's lap.

Jason was staring at him with a look Percy couldn't decipher, his lips parted slightly. Percy wanted to kiss him; this wasn't the time to kiss him. Keep it together.

"Perce-"

"Jason!" Piper's voice carried out the back door and wrapped around the two of them like a vice.

Jason went considerably pale and Percy stood up. "I'll see you whenever I see you?" Percy said.

Jason just nodded, still staring at him.

Percy opened the backdoor and stepped inside, saying a brief 'hello' and 'goodbye' to Piper before finally making it back to his car.

He slammed his hands on the hood and cursed, "Stupid, Jackson. That was stupid." he opened the car door with considerably more force than necessary and sat down heavily. "Fucking idiot." And now he had to go home to Annabeth and pretend nothing was wrong. Great.

~~~~~

It started with the notes. Sticky notes with slurs scrawled on them (against his race, his orientation, anything they could get a hand on), in horrible handwriting, stuck to his desk at work. Jason didn't mention any, but when he took his coat off and draped it on Percy's couch, one fell out, crumpled as if Jason had furiously shoved it in his pocket.

Percy had picked it up, saw what was written there, and knew that this wasn't a coincidence. Someone knew. Someone knew about them and wasn't very happy about it.

He'd briefly wondered if it was Annabeth, but no, she didn't seem to be angry at him or disgusted, but she had been colder lately. When the notes started appearing in places that weren't as public as his desk, Percy got more concerned.

He still hadn't talked to Jason about it; the notes and what had transpired on Jason's porch either.

They'd elevated too. Notes in his car, calling him a disgrace to his family and god. But Percy wasn't as worried as he probably should've been. After all, this person was hiding behind ink and paper, if they had something to say, they could do it to his face.

But when they started threatening him, Percy finally spoke to Jason about it.

"Have you been getting notes?" He asked.

Jason was sprawled on Percy's bed, sans shirt, arm thrown over his eyes as if shielding him from the light.

Percy himself was sprawled next to Jason, head on his chest, legs twined together.

Jason peered down at him, blinking wearily. His glasses were sitting on the side table. "What?"

"Notes," Percy said as if this explained everything. "That are calling you-" He swallowed and Jason's eyes tracked the movement.

"Yeah," Jason said finally. "I haven't been too concerned." A lie. If Percy knew Jason at all (and he did) the other boy had been worrying himself to death over this, afraid to tell anybody, panicking and overthinking alone. The thought made Percy's chest ache.

"I wasn't going to mention it," Jason said.

"Me either, but this recent one," He trailed off, already doubting if he should be worrying Jason over this. But it did technically involve him.

Percy pushed off of Jason and the other boy made a whining noise in the back of his throat. Percy grinned as Jason flushed in embarrassment.

Percy pulled the crumpled note out of his discarded jacket and read aloud to Jason, who was still on the bed, "I know all about your illicit affairs-"

"Oh, how proper."

Percy snorted, "Tell me about it." He cleared his throat, "Anyway. -with Jason Grace." Jason stiffened. They knew his name. "If you don't do what I want I will tell Annabeth and Piper all about it. And maybe more than just the two of them, too.”

“Mhmm. And we believe them?”

“I’m not sure,” Percy said tossing the note onto the nightstand and belly-flopping onto the bed next to Jason.

“If you did, you wouldn’t be here,” Jason said, practically.

“And how do you know that?”

“Because I know you.”

Percy smiled, "Yeah, I guess you do."

Jason smiled back, only for a few seconds before his face fell; Percy felt his heart jump to his throat. "What are we going to do?"

"You already have an idea," Percy said, staring at him.

"You're not going to like it."

Percy sighed, "Let's hear it."

"We can't see each other."

Percy shot to his feet. "No! I'm not letting some heathen," He pointed angrily at the note. "Bully me into staying away from the man I love."

Jason went deathly still and Percy's brain finally caught up to what just happened.

"'Man you love'?" His voice was quiet and Percy didn't know how to read that.

"Yeah," Percy whispered. "Yes."

Jason wasn't looking at him and every second that passed, Percy felt his heart chipping away.

"I-" Jason swallowed and wet his lips. "I love you." His voice was hushed as if he was scared to be heard.

Percy stared at him for a beat of bated breath before lunging at him. Jason laughed as his back collided with the mattress.

Jason held Percy's face in his hands and looked him over, drinking everything in before kissing him.

The notes could wait.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #453

“you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

What health problems run in your family? Diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, depression, cancer, a LOT more that I'm forgetting. Where did you last have sex? I have zero memory of the last time that was, so I wouldn't know. But probably a bed? How long have you known your best friend? Since we were around 8 and 11. What’s something people criticize you the most for? That I rely on the computer too much. Are spiders scary? I mean some are, but they're also extremely fascinating animals that I really enjoy observing. Cheetos. Poofy or regular? Regular, for sure. The poofy ones get stuck in your teeth SO badly. What's your favorite music genre? Heavy metal. Be honest. What are you most afraid of? Doing nothing with my life. What's your favourite type of survey to take? The ones with really random questions that you don't see in every single one. However, I don't like "random" to where the questions are just inapplicable to almost everyone. I also enjoy questions that allow me to vent about stuff I have going on. If I'm in the right mood, deep questions are great, too. What was the last topic you read about? In detail? I don't know. What shirt do you wear the most? Besides tank tops, my Cloak "equal in our bones" Day of the Dead shirt. What's your go-to order from KFC? I don't eat at KFC. Did you have hand-me-down clothes when you were growing up? Yes. What was the last song you listened to? Well, NOW I'm obsessed with Violet Orlandi's cover of "Hotel California." I keep finding new songs that I just loop for days, man, lol. I'm still not over her "The Unforgiven" cover. Did you have long hair as a young kid? I did. How many songs do you know by the band you are listening to? I'm still listening to Violet's "Hotel California" cover, which is originally by The Eagles. I obviously know this song, as well as "Heartache Tonight." Probably more, just those are the two I know and like. What podcasts do you listen to, if any? I don't listen to any. What was your most recent binge watch? Gab Smolders' playthrough of Final Fantasy X. What’s the oldest thing currently in your house? Hell, possibly my bed frame. I don't know. If you use Snapchat, do you post to your story or send individual snaps more often? I don't have one. When was the last time you rolled your eyes? At what? Not too long ago. Mom said something that really annoyed me. Do you like mozzarella sticks? No. If you had to name one of your children after a friend, solely based on their name alone, who would you choose? Probably Alon. Everything about her is beautiful, ha ha. Have you ever watched anime porn? I can confidently say I have not... Are ladybugs cute? Yes! Would you wear something made from snake skin? Fuck no. I won't wear anything that comes from an animal. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, idc. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done for a significant other? In art class, I made an anatomically correct heart out of clay and put it in a shadow box along with a poem as the background. I honestly really hope Jason still has it, because I worked my ass off on it. What do you think of naming your son after the father (ex. Roy Jr.): It's not my business what other parents name their kids, but for me personally, I really don't like it. Like... give your child their own identity. It also feels kinda arrogant to me? Like are you so important that you have to force your name onto your kid? Do you like Death Cab For Cutie? I only know "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," which I adore. Do walking near or past cops make you feel uncomfortable? Yes. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong somehow. Do you think stretching (or gauging) your ears is disgusting? When they get to a certain size, to me it is. Small ones are no biggie. What piercing or body modification do you think is really gross? Oh my god, those corset piercings people get on their backs. Just... no. What would you do if your bf/gf told you they were going into the army? I'd be fucking devastated, in a hypothetical relationship where we're serious. What is the nearest gas station called? Uhhhh... I forgot lol. The second-closest though, which is almost like, RIGHT beside the other one, is Sheetz. Do you think bearded dragons are cute? omg YES!!!!!!!! What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? I have no idea. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Too many, honestly. I'm just like... always tired. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Hm. My favorite I've ever had was "Bee," which Megan called me, but I don't like others calling me that. Ever meet someone whose house has burned down spontaneously? Yes, in middle school. Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I kinda am. I reached out to him. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Guys: shoulder blades. Girls: hips. Any friends that you’d go on a date with? Yeah. I think I want to try that with Girt and see how it goes and decide what the fuck I want. Is it cute when someone calls you babe? It's funny, I used to hate that, but now I imagine I wouldn't mind? Do you like Muse? Yeah! "Unnatural Selection" and "Psycho" are especially BANGERS. What’s your favorite flavor of jello? Strawberry. What song is stuck in your head right now? I'm bingeing the absolute fuck outta the song I mentioned earlier, ha ha. Do you have a niece or nephew? I have a lot, but only three I see regularly. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? idk What did you receive for Valentine’s Day? I think Mom got me a chocolate bar? When was the last time you went to a cemetery, and why were you there? I want to say this was many years ago when I went with Colleen to her church. Her stillborn brother was buried there. Have you ever owned a plant? What was it? I grew habaneros once, along with some sort of succulents from Colleen. What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild? I saw a mink jump into the river once when I was out fishing with Dad at our favorite spot. Were you born in the state you live in? Yep. Always lived here. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? Dog shit. Do you like to sleep? Yes and no. I like falling asleep if it's quick, because I'm all comfy, but I also dread sleep because of my nightmares. Even with my mask, they're starting to become regular again. After last night's, I am legitimately beginning to fear something is psychologically wrong with me. Like, I cried to my mom. Do you like the smell of gasoline? Ugh, no. It gives me a headache. Have you lost contact with anyone you wish you haven’t? Many people. Did you give anyone his/her first kiss? No. Should you ever have gone to the hospital but didn’t? Vice versa? No. Who do you miss the most? Jason. What do you miss the most? Being happy. What is your birthstone? Do you have any jewelry with it? Amethyst. I have a really cute guardian angel pin with one given to me by my grandmother. What is the last dream you remember having? Last night was... awful. I remember Mom and I getting in a MASSIVE fight, and also literally yelling at my late beloved dog something about crushing his head in if he didn't stop barking. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm really scared something is really wrong with me. Have you had a church confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, or something similar? Growing up Roman Catholic, I had a Confirmation ceremony. What was the last baby animal you saw? I wanna say a puppy on Facebook. A friend just got one.

[seokmattchuus]

Fuck Away The Pain - Hyungwon

A/n: I don’t even know what this is, ngl. It kinda sucks, but ya girl’s sad from an ex and I’m deep in my Hyungwon feels so this happened. Let it flop, idc, tbh. I just wanted to write it. Also, issa long one, sorry.

“Y/n..” - 10:47 pm

“I know this is uncalled for, but” - 10:47 pm

“I really miss you.” - 10:48 pm

“I really wanna see you. Can I come by later?” - 10:49 pm

“Can we try again?” - 10:50 pm

You stood there, staring at your phone, tears welling in your eyes as you shoved you phone into your pocket and quickly wiped at your eyes. Of course, your ex, Min, would pick the best timing to try to ‘fix’ things.

It was movie night at the Monsta X dorm. You’d never been, but your best friend, Hyungwon had invited you this time, knowing that you’d needed some kind of comfort while you went through your breakup. He figured inviting you over for a movie would be best since you weren’t the clubbing type.

And of course, Min had to ruin that too.

You were in the middle of scooping ice cream into bowls with Hyungwon to put in the freezer for later when your phone went off. 

You ignored it of course, thinking it was some spam calls since everyone knew you were busy tonight. But it wasn’t until when Hoseok, Jooheon, and Hyunwoo came back from the store with all the snacks that you checked it, not wanting the constant sound to bother anyone.

You excused yourself to the restroom so you could check your phone in private, but rolled your eyes when you saw that it was Min that called.

A good amount of times. 

When you hadn’t answered, he resorted to text messages, which led you to your current situation.

Crying against the sink in your best friend’s shared dorm.

It wasn’t really an “I missed you” kind of crying, but more of a “what fucking nerve do you have to message me this kind of shit” kind of crying.

Min had ended things just shy of a month ago. It wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming, you just refused to think about him wanting to break off your three year relationship. You just couldn’t, well, more like you didn’t, want to see it. 

Until you’re birthday came around and he hadn’t planed anything. 

It wasn’t that you wanted him to do anything big or extravagant, a simple acknowledgement would’ve sufficed. But no. He hadn’t texted or called at all throughout the day.

It wasn’t until later that night when you and your friends posed for a picture to post on your Instagram that he finally texted you.

“So you’re out with that guy again?”

Had it not been for your male friends, including Hyungwon, he probably wouldn’t have contacted you at all.

It was that moment that you realized everything was falling apart. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t love you. Not to mention that he spent that whole day with some girl from his workplace. Your friend being the one to tell you the day after your birthday, not wanting to kill your mood.

It was a week after that when he finally ended things. Claiming that you just weren’t good enough for him anymore. That he needed something new, more exciting. To be put simply, that he was just bored of you after being with you for so long.

You had no objections, nor arguments. There was no point. There was nothing in your relationship worth saving. You just went home and packed all the things he left at your house while he packed yours, traded off the next day, and that was that. He hadn’t contacted you since, and for him to finally text you after this whole time, what was he expecting? For you to jump at the opportunity? Welcome him back with open arms?

When you finally managed to get your feelings under control, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror, cringing at how puffy your eyes were. How were you supposed to go back out there? You’d already been in the restroom for a good while, if you stayed any longer-

“Y/n, you okay?” Your train of thought was cut off as Hyungwon knocked on the door.

You sniffled and cleared your throat. “Yeah! Be out in a minute.” You called out before rinsing off your face and drying it on the towel. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself.

When you walked out, Hyungwon was standing in front of the door, his hand out to stop you from walking past him.

“You’re not okay.” He stated. “You sniffled and your voice sounds like you were crying.”

“I’m fine, Hyungwon.” You sighed. “Min’s just being an asshole, that’s all.”

“What’d he say?” His tone changed.

“Basically that he misses me, and wants to come by later and try to work things out.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to ruin your movie night, but I don’t want to go home either. What am I supposed to do if he comes by?”

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll lend you some clothes.” He said nonchalantly.

“I could-” You started, but were cut off.

“Y/n. We’ve been friends since middle school.” He started. “This is nothing. I’ll sleep on the floor, or on the couch if you want me to. But I don’t want you going back to your place if he’s gonna show up. He doesn’t deserve a chance to even think about you after everything he’s done.”

“B-”

“No ‘but’s.” He shook his head. “You’re staying here, and that’s final. Now hurry up before they start the movie without us.” He smiled, pulling you into a big hug, his scent engulfing you.

You weren’t gonna lie, hugging him was more than comforting at this point, and you wanted nothing more than to stay like this, but sadly, you had to pull away.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He smiled, dropping his arms so you could both make your way back to the living room where Kihyun was setting a movie order while Minhyuk and Changkyun were setting up the living room to make it more comfy.

“And they didn’t go off to fuck, you owe me $15.” Hoseok laughed at Hyunwoo.

“Cut it out.” Hyungwon glared. “Even if we did, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it around you dumbasses.”

You felt the heat rise to cheeks. Sure, Hyungwon was attractive, but you’d never thought of him like that.

Or at least that you wanted to acknowledge.

“Okay!” Kihyun clapped from his spot. “I finally have an order.” He said happily. “Now let’s move everything to the coffee table so we can start.”

-

After everything was situated, you, Hyungwon and Minhyuk sat on the couch with you in the middle. Hyunwoo and Jooheon took the recliners, and the rest made themselves comfortable on the floor.

You were halfway into the movie when Minhyuk moved from his spot beside you to go to the restroom, causing you to lean a little too close into Hyungwon’s side in an effort to get comfortable. Which also caused him to shift a little, you brushing it off as him trying to adjust.

-

After the first movie, Changkyun had asked Jooheon and Hyunwoo to help him get the ice cream.

“Do you feel any better?” Hyungwon leaned down to whisper.

“Kinda?” You whispered back. “I just can’t get him out of my mind.” You shrugged. 

“Give me your phone.” He said, pulling away from you and holding his hand out. 

“Why?” 

“Just give it to me.” He smiled.

You were hesitant, but reached into your pocket, and gave it to him nonetheless.

“I’ll take care of it later, I promise.” He smiled down at you as the guys came back with bowls of ice cream.

-

“Kihyun…” Hoseok whispered, poking the boy with his foot lightly, laughing as he tipped over. “Are you seriously asleep right now?”

“Bro, we did just watch like, four movies in a row.” Changkyun yawned. “Hyunwoo and Minhyuk fell asleep too. Let’s just call it a night.”

“But we still have one more to watch.” Hoseok pouted.

“Well you can watch it yourself.” Hyungwon stated, stretching as he got off the couch, helping you up. “Y/n’s spending the night by the way.”

“Hmmm.” Hoseok wiggled his brows, earning a pillow thrown at him.

“Like I said before, cut it out.” He said flatly. “Next time it won’t be a pillow.” Hyungwon threatened before walking to his room.

“Night guys.” You whispered before following Hyungwon to his room, where he pulled out some boxers and a long flannel, holding them out to you.

“You can go change in the restroom if you want.” He smiled softly.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here?” You shied away from his offer.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He said while shoving you towards the bathroom. “Now go change.” He said, dropping the clothes into your hands.

With a huff, you did as you were told, and changed into the long flannel that smelled like Hyungwon’s favorite cologne, and slipped into the boxers. After changing, and folding your clothes, you looked in the mirror, feeling slightly unsure of yourself.

It wasn’t like this was new. You and Hyungwon weren’t strangers. You had plenty of movie nights throughout high school where he let you wear his hoodies for comfort.

You’d always been close so this was nothing out of the ordinary for you. But something just felt different, and you couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe it was the way his members seemed to keep pushing the thought of you two. Or maybe since you were still upset over Min, staying with Hyungwon seemed different. 

Maybe because you weren’t in high school anymore.

Maybe because it wasn’t just his hoodie this time.

“You’re just a mess right now, y/n. It’s nothing.” You whispered to yourself, shaking your head while you ran a stressed hand through your hair before walking out of the restroom and back to Hyungwon’s room, deciding to lighten the mood, you struck a pose at his doorway.

“How do I look?” You quirked a brow, and Hyungwon’s eyes raked over your frame, and lingered a little too long on your exposed legs before meeting your eyes with a smile.

“Like a model.” He laughed, and pulled out your phone. “Should we do a photo shoot to make it real?”

“Wow, Mr. Model wants to give me a photo shoot?” You wiped a fake tear. “I feel honored.” You smiled. “But I can’t pose for shit.”

“Just do what you were just doing.” He said, holding your phone dramatically, while positioning himself on the floor, waiting for you to pose, snapping the picture once you did. “Not so bad, Miss. Newbie.” He smiled, getting up and showing you the picture. “How about you smile, though?” He suggested.

“I was smiling though.” You pouted.

“You need to smile bigger. Like you’re laughing.” He mocked your pout as he positioned the camera again. “Hurry up, my arm’s getting tired.” He laughed.

-

You took a total of ten pictures, all directed by Hyungwon and in all honesty, as you both sat on the floor looking through them, they weren’t that bad.

“I like this one the most.” You pointed to the one that had you pouting at the lens.

“Well, I like this one the most.” He pointed to the one with you smiling while your head rested on your arm.

“Well,” You started. “Thank you for the photo shoot, Mr. Chae.” You laughed. “It made me feel better.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He smiled back at you. “It’s getting late, you should probably sleep.” He said, getting up. “I still haven’t changed, so let me grab my clothes and I’ll be out of your way.” He smiled, going to his drawers and pulling out a pair of pajama pants and making his way out to change.

“Hyungwon,” You called out before he left the room fully. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, or the floor. I can instead.” You offered, getting up.

“You know I won’t let you.” He said softly.

“But I feel bad. It’s your bed, after all.” You shrugged.

“Then we can just share it?” He questioned, looking over at you.

“I guess we could.” You avoided his gaze, looking down at the bed, and back at him.

“Guess I need a shirt then.” He said, walking towards his closet and grabbing a shirt.

“You don’t sleep with a shirt on?” You quirked a brow at him.

“Not really. It’s uncomfortable.” He shrugged, walking out to go change.

You sighed and sat on the bed, moving the covers to the side so you could make a spot for yourself and tracing random nothing’s onto his comforter.

Maybe things were different this time. Here you were, after a breakup, laying in your best friend’s bed, wearing his clothes, while you were about to sleep in his bed.

“Comfortable?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah.” You looked up at him. “Your blanket’s really soft.” You mumbled softly.

“That’s why I bought it.” He laughed at your statement before pulling the cover up and sliding under, too. 

“I know you need music to sleep, so is there anything you wanna hear?” He said, pulling your phone out, looking through your playlist.

“Why don’t you sing for me?” You asked. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice.”

A hint of red tinted his cheeks at the statement and you smiled.

“You know your voice is my favorite.” You moved so your head laid on the back of your hands and you looked at him.

“Don’t look at me.” He smirked. “It makes me shy.”

“Mr. Model gets shy?” You quirked a brow. “Interesting.” You smiled before closing your eyes. “I’m still gonna face this way, though.”

“Stubborn little thing.” He chuckled before clearing his throat. “Any recommendations?” He whispered. 

“Surprise me.” You smiled.

“Why can’t you just make things easy for me for once?” He laughed lightly. “Hmm. What kind of genre?”

“Surprise~” You whined.

“Do you know how many songs there are?” He looked at you, though you couldn’t see him. “You just love making things hard for me.” He grumbled before clearing his throat again before singing Dreamer. 

-

“Did you really fall asleep?” He whispered after singing the song. “You were probably tired.” He sighed, grabbing your phone and connecting it to his charger, an idea popping into his head.

He scooted closer to you and held your camera above the both of you so it looked like you were cuddling into him, took the picture, then scooted back to his initial spot and looked at you again before confirming his plan.

He opened your messages and found Min’s, typing a quick message and attaching the picture of you sleeping, not even hesitating to hit send before leaving your phone on his bedside counter to charge, not bothering to check the vibrate signaling Min’s response.

-

You woke up feeling warm. Too warm. When you tried to move, you realized your arm was wrapped around something and you opened your eyes in realization of your current position. Looking up at Hyungwon’s still sleeping form, your arms wrapped around his waist, and your head on his chest.

You mentally cursed yourself as you slowly let him go and face palmed. Of all the damn nights for you to want to cuddle.

“It’s too early.” Hyungwon grumbled, his voice raspy. “Stay in bed.”

“Were you awake this whole time?” You looked at him with eyes wide.

“No. I woke up when you moved your head.” He mumbled. “The warmth was nice.”

“What time is it?” You said, ignoring his statement.

He grabbed your phone. “5:58 AM.” He whined. “Let’s just go back to sleep.” He rolled towards you, arms open.

“You’re such a baby when you’re tired.” You tsked. “We’re not cuddling again. We weren’t supposed to anyways.”

“You’re the one that woke me up. Take responsibility.” He yawned out, with grabby hands. “If you don’t come willingly, I’m gonna pull you in.”

“You wouldn-” You were cut off by Hyungwon grabbing your wrist and pulling you back into him, his arms wrapping around your waist. 

“Shut up and sleep.” He grumbled. “Hyunwoo’s alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours and if you wake up before then, we’re gonna fight.”

You didn’t bother fighting him and relaxed into his hold. It wasn’t all that bad. The way his body covered yours and the way he held you made you feel safe and warm.

Made you feel comfortable.

-

You don’t know when you fell back asleep, but you woke up to Hyungwon shaking you lightly.

“C’mon.” He whispered. “Now, it’s time to get up.” He chuckled.

You sat up and stretched. “Do I really have to get up?”

“I was gonna take you home so you could get some clean clothes, then maybe come back.” He started. “But if you’re down to stay dressed like that the whole day.” He shrugged.

“No, going to get clothes sounds nice.” You piped up. “Why would we come back here though?”

“Is it such a shame to want you to make friends with my group mates?”

“Good point.” You stated, getting up and picking up your clothes from yesterday.

“I’ll leave, you can change in here.” He stopped you, making his way past you. “It’s windy out.” He smiled. “So keep the flannel on.” He said as he walked out.

-

The ride back to your place was a comfortable silence and that’s when you noticed your phone’s bluetooth didn’t connect to his car.

“Won, where’s my phone?”

“I charged it for you, so if you didn’t get it, it’s probably still on my counter.” He said calmly.

“We’re going back anyways.” You said as he pulled up to your place.

“You go freshen up. I’ll just chill in the kitchen and steal snacks.” He smiled as he put the car in a park and got out.

“Sounds like a plan.” You laughed as you made your way to the door, unlocking it.

“Just don’t take a long ass shower.” He tsked. “Or I might end up eating all your snacks out of boredom like last time.” 

“Don’t remind me.” You glared at the memory. “God forbid I leave you alone for more than thirty minutes.” You kept your glare as you placed your keys on the kitchen counter. 

“Just some food for thought.” He chuckled as he opened your cabinet, looking for something.

"Just don’t eat everything.” You groaned and made your way to your room. “I really don’t feel like going shopping just because you can’t control yourself.” Your voice faded the longer you walked and you barely heard Hyungwon’s noise of agreement.

You didn’t really pay much attention to the clothes you picked out, thinking of just grabbing some leggings and keeping Hyungwon’s flannel as your top. Given that it wasn’t too baggy, but not too tight, you figured it had that ‘at home’ look, which was perfect because you didn’t wanna look like you were trying too hard to come up with an outfit.

You reached for your speaker on instinct, but put it down once you remembered you didn’t have your phone and grumbled to yourself, grabbing your towel and heading towards your restroom.

-

“Well that was fast.” Hyungwon spoke with a mouth full of Pringles.

“Let’s just say I miss my phone.” You smiled, rolling his shirt sleeves up, along with your hair.

“You still wearing my shirt.” He smirked.

“It’s comfy.” You shrugged, sitting across from him. “And it smells nice.” You added, reaching for a chip. 

“You always did like my cologne.” He smirked to himself. “I guess I make good choices.”

“You picked one good cologne, don’t get cocky.” You glared, pointing your chip at him, him sticking his tongue back at you in return.

“Are you sure you really wanna meet the guys?” He cocked a brow at you while he chewed his chip. “They might be too much to handle.”

“You’re too much to handle and I do just fine.” You stated matter-of-factly.

“Okay but now like, there’s six more of me.”

“You started it by inviting me over for movies. Plus it was your idea.” You smiled.

“Good point, but you didn’t have to agree.” He pointed his chip at you before eating it. “But let’s go after we eat.”

-

Hyungwon’s definition of ‘after we eat’ ended up being ‘after we eat and watch a movie or two.’ So by the time you were getting ready to leave, it was about to be 2 pm.

“What happened to ‘after we eat.’” You laughed as you both made your way to the door.

“You can’t just eat and not watch something.” He looked at you like you were clueless.

“You couldn’t just pick a show?”

“Movies are better.” He held his chin high as he opened the door for you, locking it from the inside. “You’re just mad ‘cause I’m keeping you from going back to the dorms.”

“I am not!” You yelled. 

“You totally are.” He glared. “Why? Do you like any of them?” He quirked a brow at you, his tone changing as he closed the door.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” You shrugged, opening the door to the drivers side.

“It’s Hoseok, isn’t it? Or Hyunwoo?” He tsked. “It’s always one of them.” He mumbled, opening the car door and getting in.

“And if I said I did?” You teased, stepping into the passenger. 

“I’d ban you from going back.” He glared. “They can’t just steal my friend from me.”

“Why can’t I be everyone’s friend?” You quirked your own brow at him.

“The world doesn’t work that way, my clueless little y/n.” He ruffled your hair as he started the car.

“You’re just paranoid that they’ll steal me away.” You glared. 

“And if I am?” He didn’t hesitate to answer.

“It’ll take a lot more than a pretty face to ruin our friendship.” You smiled, ruffling his hair now. “Why do you think Min hated you so much?” You chuckled, only to have it die down soon after. “I guess your ‘idol’ title made you different from the rest of my friends.” You shrugged, shoving the memories of past arguments to the back of your head.

“Look. I know I caused a lot of problems for you tw-”

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “He left because I wasn’t good enough. Let’s just go now.” You spoke quickly, watching as he put the car in ‘drive’.

“He really made you believe that?” He spoke up, his voice soft.

You didn’t answer.

“It’s bullshit, you know.” He spoke louder this time. “Anyone would be lucky enough to have you. Just because he left doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough.”

And that was all he said.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, both of you not feeling the need to say anything else, at least not until you were heading up to the dorms again.

“If you flirt with any of them, I might just kick you out.” He threatened as you reached his hall.

“You could never.” You smiled as you poked his side. “You love me too much.” 

You only got a glare in response as he punched in the code to the door, nearly shutting it in your face as payback for your little statement, but you couldn’t complain now that you were back at the dorms.

“She’s back!” Minhyuk yelled from the couch, running over to you.

“We thought he wouldn’t bring you back.” Kihyun chuckled, watching as Hyungwon glared at Minhyuk, who’s hug was lasting a little longer than it should.

“Dude, let her go. She didn’t come to get squished.” Hyungwon grumbled.

“And now he’ll probably never let her come back.” Changkyun laughed while nudging Kihyun.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Hyungwon fake laughed. “She wouldn’t even be back here if she didn’t forget her phone.

“So that’s what was going off all day.” Hyunwoo chimed in. “I wasn’t trying to snoop, but it seemed important with how much they kept texting. I think it was a Min?”

“Oh, that’s not important.” You trailed off. “Probably ju-”

“Did you guys order the pizza, yet?” Hyungwon cut you off, trying to change the subject. “And did you get the side of wings?” 

“Yeah, Hoseok and Jooheon went to go get it.” Hyunwoo said. “But you’ve never wanted wings before. What changed?”

“They aren’t for me, they’re for y/n.” Hyungwon said casually, the rest of the guys raising their eyebrows at each other.

“Since when are you so considerate?” Minhyuk spoke out.

“I’m considerate to people.” He stated calmly, before forcing a smile. “Just not you.”

“Rude.” The older pouted, before his phone chimed. “Oh, food’s here!”

-

The day had gone smoother than you thought. You had eaten, watched some shows, played dumb games on the living room floor, and now you were cleaning up.

“It’s late, we should get you home.” Hyungwon spoke up after finishing the dishes.

“Shit, what time is it?” You looked up at him.

“Your phone’s still in my room isn’t it?” He raised a brow.

“Well we were busy, I didn’t really need it.” You shrugged.

He did nothing but sigh and ruffle your hair before leaving to his room to retrieve the device.

By the time he reached the phone, it had just stopped vibrating, and he checked it to see if it was important.

“Min? Again?” He groaned, pressing the home button so he could see how many times he called. “Thirty times?” He scoffed, letting the screen timeout on it’s own. “Does he have nothing better to do?”

“I suggest you hurry up before Minhyuk hides her away.” Changkyun warned, leaving Hyungwon to shove your phone in his pocket, and head back out.

“But make sure you come back. Even if you have to hide it.” Minhyuk whispered the last part.

“The point of whispering is to not be heard.” Hyungwon mimicked Minhyuk, causing you to giggle.

“Let’s go, you grumpy log.” You laughed. “It’s getting late, I don’t want you coming back late.”

-

The drive home was spent with you talking about how much you enjoyed your time guys being even more great - and stupid - than you thought they’d be in person.

“Well, at least you enjoyed your day.” Hyungwon smiled towards you. “You deserve to have better days now that he’s gone.”

“Speaking of,” You piped up. “What do you think he wanted?” 

“Who knows.” He shrugged. “You didn’t check?” He asked, pulling into your driveway, and looking over to you.

“I’m kinda scared to know.” You admitted, unbuckling your seat belt. “I mean, I cried at the ‘let’s try again’ texts, so who’s to say I won’t cry over whatever he’s saying now?”

“Do you want me to read them instead?” He offered, unbuckling his own seat belt.

“As long as you don’t say anything dumb.” You glared, handing him your phone.

“No promises.” He smiled, snatching the phone from you, and unlocking it. “Messagesssss.” He dragged out as he pushed the little emoticon. “Miiinnn.” He repeated as he looked for the man’s contact, tapping on it once it came in sight. “Last message was sometime around…” He trailed off as he scrolled up, turning the phone slightly as the picture he took came into view.

“Why? Is it bad?” You whined at the action.

“No, I just don’t want you to read anything and get upset.” He mumbled. “How about you go in and get ready? I’ll be in when I’m done.” He smiled softly at your frowning face. “You can even order food? And use my card?” He offered, to which you smiled and nodded. “All it takes is food. You’re so easy.” He fake tsked, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Just make sure you order something for me, too.” He laughed, waiting for you to walk inside before turning his attention back to your phone.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” - 2:07 am

“Why aren’t you answering?” - 2:08 am

“I know you’re getting my messages.” - 2:10 am

“Is it because he’s with you? You’re just gonna replace me like that? With a fucking pretty boy?” - 2:12 am

“And now you’re not gonna respond? You obviously sent that picture for a reason.” - 2:13 am

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m stopping by tomorrow night.” - 2:16 am

Hyungwon scoffed at the messages before deleting them, along with the picture, and throwing the phone in his lap.

What the hell was his problem? Was he really that jealous over you staying at the dorm when he wasn’t even your boyfriend anymore?

The nerve.

Sighing again, he turned the car off and got out, angrily shoving your phone in his pocket before going inside.

“The delivery guy said twenty minutes tops, so it shouldn’t be too long.” You smiled at him.

“All you care about is food, huh?” He joked.

“Well maybe if you didn’t eat all my food all the time, I wouldn’t care so much.” You glared.

-

After eating - and cleaning up - you had suggested watching something scary, more for background noise than entertainment.

“So..” You trailed off. “Was it bad?” You bit your lip.

“Now you ask?” He chuckled, taking a sip of his Monster. “But no, it wasn’t bad. Just obsessive?” He questioned, trying to think of the right word. “Just stuff like ‘oh, you’re not gonna respond?’, and ‘you’re just gonna replace me like that’.” He mocked in a dumb voice.

“Why are guys like that?” You sighed, throwing yourself back onto the couch.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows. 

“All ‘I don’t want you, but don’t date anyone else.’“ You mocked in a deep voice.

“Who are you dating?” He coughed as he choked on his sip.

“No one, but you know what I mean.” You glared. 

“Well obviously I didn’t.” He coughed some more. “Word yourself better next time and we wouldn’t have a problem.” He grumbled.

“I’ve literally been crying to you about how guys suck. Why would I date another one right now?” You deadpanned. 

“I don’t know. Maybe the whole ‘get over someone by using someone else’ thing.” He mumbled. 

“On another note.” You sighed, ignoring his statement. “You’re a guy, do you know why guys do this shit?”

“I’m not a shitty guy, or at least I don’t think, so I have no idea.” He paused, putting the can to his lips and throwing his head back, finishing it. “But I can fight him for you if you want.” He smirked.

“I appreciate the offer, but the last thing you need is to catch a case.” You laughed lightly. 

“Who said I’d get caught?” He raised a brow.

“Okay feisty one, I’m gonna go throw away the trash which you said you would do.” You giggled, as you got up.

“I was gonna do it after I finished my drink.” He defended himself as you walked away to pick up the trash bag. “Which I just did.”

“Well I already got up, so you’re too late.” You smiled, walking back and taking his empty can, throwing it in the bag before tying it closed. “I’ll be back.” You said, slipping on some sandals before going out, mentally cursing as you realized you left the trashcans on the curb from yesterday.

“If I wasn’t kidnapped, I’d totally not have to walk all the way to the curb.” You grumbled to yourself, as you reached them. “I should’ve just let Hyungwon do it.” You continued to grumble as you lifted the lid.

“So you’re with him now?” You heard a familiar voice speak out from the side, and you froze, the lid falling with a loud thud. “Are you not gonna answer?” He spoke louder this time, slightly slurred.

“No.” You spoke softly, not trying to cause a scene. “But it’s not like it matters to you.” You said coldly, watching as Min laugh sarcastically.

“I just wanna know how long it’s been going on.” He hiccuped. “Since we broke up? Since your birthday? Before then?” He got louder the more he spoke, walking closer.

“You’re drunk.” You swallowed thickly while backing away, slightly scared since you knew this side of him.

“And? Answer my question.” He said, stopping slightly as he realized you were pressed against the trashcan.

“I told you we weren’t together.” You repeated louder this time, hoping Hyungwon would hear.

“Don’t bullshit me, y/n.” He chuckled, raising his voice even more. “We both know you had feelings for him.”

“Whether I did or not doesn’t-”

“Yes it fucking does.” He scoffed, taking a step forward, causing you to push against the trashcan, your face instinctively turning to the side in an attempt to block yourself. 

“If your problem’s with me, then leave her alone.” Hyungwon spoke out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him. “Go inside.” He said sternly, to which you shook your head, and before he could respond, Min spoke up again.

“Oh, so you got him protecting you now? That’s fucking rich.” He laughed again, stepping towards Hyungwon, who only pushed you back. His position staying. “We all knew you’d end up with him anyways.” He spoke bitterly, looking up at the man.

“Like I said.” Hyungwon’s voice threatening as he stepped forward. “If your problem’s with me, leave her out of it.” He glared. 

“How do you know my problem’s with you?” Min laughed.

“My name was in almost every message you sent.” Hyungwon scoffed. “If anyone else read them, they’d think you’re jealous of her, not me.” He took another step. “And you came to her house to ask if me and her were together. It sounds like my presence pisses you off.” He smirked.

Min scoffed before balling his fist.

“I suggest you leave.” Hyungwon spoke up again, his tone holding something you hadn’t heard from him before as he took more steps to back Min into the sidewalk. “If you wanna fight, I suggest you be sober first. Wouldn’t want you making up excuses for losing to a ‘pretty boy’ like me.” He said, pressing a finger to Min’s shoulder and pushing him into the street before turning around and pushing you back towards the door.

“I told you to go inside.” He nearly yelled as he shut the door. “What if something happened? What if he had something? What if I wasn’t here?” He scolded, too lost in his concern to realize you were tearing up.

“What would you would’ve done if-” He stopped talking the second he saw a tear fall and immediately pulled you into his chest. 

It was quiet for a while, neither of you saying anything, or more like him not knowing what to say.

Of course he’d fuck up by yelling at you after everything that’s happened.

Of course he’d snap at you even though none of this was your fault.

Of course he’d let his feelings get the best of him.

“I’m sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have.” He sighed picking his hand up to run it down your hair. “I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ve never seen you so mad before..” You sniffled, remembering how he sounded, how he got in Min’s face. It wasn’t like him.

“I never planned for you to see me that mad.” He chuckled. “I let my feelings get the best of me. I shouldn’t have acted out like that.”

“What feelings?” You questioned, and he looked down at you in disbelief. His whole face basically saying ‘do you really not know?’

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

“I may have a hint..” You paused. “But I just want you to hear you say it.”

“You really strung me along, huh?” He laughed lightly, looking back up. “Do you know how hard it was to not act on it?”

You looked up at him and chewed your lip in contemplation of whether or not to say what you wanted to. But he already said it, so why couldn’t you?

“No one said you couldn’t act on it.” You bit your lip as he looked down at you. 

“Say that again.” His response was immediate but his tone was different. 

“I said,” You paused, your eyes staring into his. “No one said you couldn-” You were cut off from him pressing his lips to yours, the force strong enough to push your head back, but his hold on you strong enough to keep you in place.

Knowing where to move, he backed you into the couch, turning you both around so he could sit and bring you down on top of him.

His hands never left your hips and when they finally did, they moved up to wrap around the back of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer into him while the other hand ran up and down your thigh, squeezing every now and then.

Never did either of you think this would happen. That one of you would finally take that step and remove whatever block was in the way.

But that block only stayed gone for a minute as Hyungwon pulled away, panting and searching your eyes for anything and you could tell he was stopping himself.

“Please, Hyungwon..” You panted, your hands coming up to cup his face. “Don’t stop here.” You whispered, hoping he’d see the sincerity in your eyes.

And though he did, it wasn’t enough for him.

“No, y/n. As much as I’ve wanted to do this, you’re only doing this out of vulnerability. Not because you want me.” He shook his head, trying to get your hands off of him, causing you to tighten your grip.

“But I do want you.” You spoke softly. “I’ve always wanted you…” You trailed off. “I just never thought you’d want me, and Min came along and fucked up my whole mentality on everything.” You took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t tell you to act on your feelings if I didn’t want to act on mine.”

He was quiet, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, his hand on the back of your neck rubbing softly while the one that was on your thigh squeezing hard at the mention of him. 

So contradicting.

“This wasn’t how I pictured this happening.” He chuckled bitterly. “But I guess timing doesn’t care for trivial things.”

“Please,” You looked at him, your voice breaking. “I want you for you. Not because I’m sad, but because it’s always been you.” 

He didn’t reply verbally this time, opting to press his lips back against yours, but softer this time, and you pulled back.

“You’re holding back, Hyungwon.” You whispered. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered back. “I came on way too rough the first time.” He laughed.

“Be rough with me, please.” You started. “I want to get lost in you. I only want you on my mind.”

“Of all the things I imagined you saying, that was never one of them.” He chuckled. “Are you sure?” He said, scanning your eyes for any hint of denial.

Instead of speaking up, you nodded your head, but it wasn’t enough for him. 

“Words. I need to hear you say it.”  

“Yes.” You spoke up. “Help me forget him.“

As if a switch flipped, the Hyungwon you had before was back and he was on you as if you’d disappear at any given moment. 

You thought about what he said earlier, the whole ‘using someone to forget someone else’ and now weren’t sure if ‘forget’ was the right word to use, but if wasn’t, you were pretty sure he’d have stopped. 

Maybe he said it because he wanted to be the one to help you forget someone.

Either way, you were reveling in the way his lips moved from yours to trail down your neck, randomly biting while his hands moved down to your thighs, occasionally moving up to play with the hem of your leggings.

“Fuck, Hyungwon.” Your hips rolled against his as he bit a specific spot and he smirked before biting down again, harder this time. 

“Do you know how bad I wanted to do this last night and all damn day?” He rasped out between kisses, sucking a hickey above your collarbone. “Seeing you walk around in my shirt like that.” He whispered before going to the other side of your neck. “God, you look so good.” He growled, roughly sucking hickies onto your skin.

“I wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless while you wore that damn shirt,” He whispered, his hands rubbing closer to where you wanted him. “Have you screaming my name and letting everyone know who’s really meant for you.” He growled as his fingers rubbed you over your leggings. “I bet you would’ve loved it, huh, babygirl.” He whispered in your ear before nibbling on your lobe.

“Yes, fuck.” You threw your head to the side, bucking your hips into his hand, while his other came around to grab your throat, squeezing harder every time he spoke.

“Have you beg for me to touch you.” He whispered, his hand slipping under your leggings to rub you over your panties. smirking at the wet spot he felt. ”Beg for me to fuck you.” He whispered before rubbing harder. “Beg for me to let you cum.” 

“Fuck, Hyungwon, yes.“ You whined out, your hips trying to press against his fingers for something. Anything. 

But he pulled away with a smug smirk instead. 

“Then get up.”

“Wha-” 

“I said,” He tilted his head. “Get. Up.”

“Hyungw-”

“Get up now, or I’m not touching you again.” He deadpanned, and out of fear he meant it, you got up and stood in front of him. “Sit here instead.” He smiled, moving you over his thigh and you stared at him confused.

“What, baby? Never ridden a thigh before?” He smirked as you blushed. “I’ll help you then.” He smiled, leading you over his leg and letting you get used to the feeling, smirking as your eyes closed from the pressure.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” He spoke up, his voice lower as he flexed his thigh, smirking as you moaned out, your hips moving against him on their own accord. 

“I want more, please.” You whined, rutting against him. 

“Where would the fun in that be?” He cocked a brow, flexing his thigh again.

“Please, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me next time, I just really really really need you right now.” Your voice came out pathetic, but you really couldn’t find it in you to care.

“Be careful what you say, baby.” He teased, getting up abruptly and turning you around so you fell into the couch, leaving you to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Because next time, I might be more than you can handle.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he knelt in front you, his hands grabbing at the hem of your leggings before pulling them off, you lifting your hips to help him.

“Hyungwon please-” You choked out. “I can’t-” You were cut off with a smack to your thigh.

“You can.” He started, staring up at you while he kissed your thigh, making a trail up. “And you will.”

You didn’t respond, instead starting to squirm from anticipation, your hand grabbing at his hair in hopes of getting him to get up, but your plan was ruined as he pulled away.

“Hands.” He said simply holding out his hand.

You shook your head and he reached for your both of your hands, putting your wrists in one hand before continuing his teasing.

“Hyungw-” You were cut off as he bit your thigh, the surprise sting making you jolt.

“Let me have my fun.” Was all he said before kissing higher, switching between the top of your thigh to the inside. 

“Don’t you want me right here?” He asked softly, looking up at you with puppy eyes. “You said you wanted more, and that’s what I’m giving you.”

You had no words, knowing full well you wouldn’t be getting out of this, and you relaxed against the cough in frustration.

“Be a good girl and just enjoy yourself.” He whispered before licking a strip up your clothed slit.

“Oh-Oh my god.” You whimpered, your hips bucking into his face. “Why do you tease so much.” You whined, your arms trying to fight against his grip, only to have it tightened.

“You said you wanted to get lost in me.” He mumbled before licking over you again. “That you wanted me to be the only thing on your mind.” He mumbled, pressing his mouth harder against you. “I think I’m doing a pretty good job at that.” 

At this point, you felt like crying. Of all the times he chose to listen to you, it was the time when all you wanted was for him to finally touch you. 

“I’ll beg, just please. I can’t anymore.” You whined, your hips wiggling as you squirmed. 

“Then let me hear it.” He suggested. “Beg for it.” He teased before going back to licking at your clothed slit.

“Fuck~” You whined. “Please fuck me, touch me, anything. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll call you whatever you want, I promise I’ll be a good girl for you, just please, for fucks sake, do something.” You whined out, your hands fighting in vain against his hold.

“You sound so pretty when you beg, baby.” He groaned, getting off his knees and helping you up so you were standing in front of him, his hands coming up to the buttons of his flannel, pausing when you tensed up. “It’s okay.” He looked at you. “I’m right here.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours again, softer this time while he worked on the buttons, letting the garment fall to the floor before pulling away. 

“So beautiful.” He whispered to himself, bending his head down to take your nipple into his mouth while his hand gave the other attention. “I can’t wait to cover you in my marks one day.” He smiled, dropping to his knees while he kissed down your torso, his hands following by running down your sides, stopping at the hem of your panties before slowly pulling them down and letting them fall so you could step out of them.

“I’m gonna take care of you.” Was all he said before shoving his head into you, his tongue lapping at you like you’d be his last meal.

“Hyungwon-” Your knees buckled, but his hands came up to grasp your thighs, keeping you up while your hands attached themselves to his hair.

You let him have his way until you felt yourself about to cum, the teasing finally catching up to you.

“Hyungwon- I- fuck-” You whimpered as your thighs shook. 

He got the point and got up, only to bend you over the armrest of the couch, your new angle giving him the perfect view of your ass.

“Fuck, I’ve always thought about this.” He groaned, working at his pants. “Making you feel so good, you can’t help but scream.” He said, dropping his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side before grabbing himself and running it up and down your slit. “I wonder how many times you’ve thought about it.” He smirked to himself.

“Please~” You whined, pushing yourself back onto him.

“So needy for me.” He licked his lips as he slid his tip in, reveling in the small moans you let out as he slowly slid in, not giving you time to adjust before pulling out and slamming back into you. “I wonder just how needy you’ve been.”

“So much.” You whined, clenching around him, smiling softly when he hissed.

“Such a naughty girl you’ve been, y/n.” He tsked, his hands moving to hold your hips, stroking slowly. “Keeping your thoughts all to yourself.” He groaned, trying his hardest not to ruin you completely.

“Hyungwon, faster.” You panted, your hands balling into fists by your head.

“What’s the rush, baby?” He teased, leaning over to press a kiss against your shoulder, his strokes speeding up just a bit. “Don’t you wanna enjoy yourself?”

“I want you to ruin me.” You let out in a broken whimper. “Fuck me so hard I’m crying. So hard I don’t know what to do with myself. So hard I have no choice but to take it. So hard I’m forced to just lay here and moan.” You nearly cried. “So hard that your name is the only word I know.”

Your plea seemed to do the trick as you heard him laugh lightly before biting down on your shoulder and speeding up on his thrusts, the pace nearly brutal compared to what he was giving you before.

You had no words, the only thing running through your mind was Hyungwon and how good he was making you feel.

You guess he seemed to notice this as he spoke up again.

“Like this, baby?” He questioned with a pant. “You’re so quiet now.” He smirked to himself. “Let me hear you.”

Your response consisted of a mix of gasps and whimpers, not being able to think straight.

He seemed satisfied given that he didn’t ask again and he gripped your hips harder, holding you in place while he used his full force to fuck into you.

So forceful you’d almost assume he hated you or that he was trying to prove a point.

And maybe he was.

Trying to prove that it should’ve been him this whole time. Him kissing you. Him loving you. Him fucking you.

And the closer he brought you to your orgasm, the more you thought it should’ve been him, too. Especially when his hand came around to rub harsh circles on your clit, your thighs shaking from how close you were.

“Don’t even try holding it.” He growled. “None of that cumming together bullshit.” He panted. “Cum for me. Cum all over me.” He coaxed you, his voice sweet compared to his current actions.

“Hyungwon, I-I- Fuck!” You were cut off by him rubbing harsher circles against you, giving you no choice but to accept it, your thighs giving out as you came.

“That’s it, baby.” He smiled down at your fucked out form, slowing down so you could ride it out before speeding up again, chasing his own orgasm, smirking when you whimpered. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Can’t take a bit of over stimulation?” 

[falloutdilf]

Why Thriller Sucks and Why I Love Her Anyway

i was listening to all of fob’s openers and it kinda hit me that one of these things is not like the others. fob has 7 albums (i’m not counting bnd 1&2 or eowyg), which means 7 openers (tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today, our lawyers made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued, thriller, disloyal order of water buffaloes, the phoenix, irresistible, and stay frosty royal milk tea). they’re all really good as openers, but if you listen to them just as songs, thriller doesn’t really hold up that well? it sounds like it was written specifically to be an opener and it directly addresses the listener a few times. i don’t think that’s a bad thing though! p!atd’s only good album, pretty. odd. opens with we’re so starving, and it’s literal only purpose is to be like ‘hey welcome back we missed you :)’, and imo it works pretty well and transitions really nicely into their first song. with thriller though, it kinda starts out talking to the listener, then switches to a seemingly unrelated chorus and second verse, then goes back and addresses the listener one more time before going back to the chorus and then transitioning to the next song. basically, thriller is trying to do to much. it needs to decide if it wants to be its own song or an intro to the album. it’s definitely possible for a song to be both (and fob’s done it 6 other times lmao) but with thriller it feels like two separate concepts mashed together?

with that being said, i still love thriller so much and idc if she’s a little weird and incoherent, she gets a spot on the playlist. the whole song is p much just a fuck you to consumerism, and ‘make us poster boys for your scene, but we are not making an acceptance speech’ is an absolute banger of a line (the metaphor... the implications of ‘your’ scene vs ‘our’ scene... the reference to them loosing best new artist despite constantly being marketed as the hottest new band...). also i am very soft for ‘crowds are won and lost and won again but our hearts beat for the diehards’ but we don’t need to talk about that. the vocals and the drums also slap so hard it’s unreal. basically thriller is kind of a weird song and it’s fun to think about why but also it makes me 🥰🥰🥰 and has no flaws whatsoever, thank u very much

[ramblingshit]

Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it.  ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out.  Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well.  whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell.  Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me'  she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn.  she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh.  he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

--

ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

[jamiebluewind]

The Hidden Rose: Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Ever As Before

Notes

Virgil's perspective

Word Count: 1299

Chapter Warnings: the opposite of angst :P (please message me if I missed any)

Thank you to my wonderful beta readers Sarah and crystrifoglio for catching my mistakes and suggesting tags. You are both amazing!

Links

The Hidden Rose: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Virgil was sleeping soundly. He had been so exhausted after getting rid of all that... gunk that he fell asleep on the first soft surface he landed on. That surface just happened to be the living room couch.

He had no idea how long he enjoyed his dreamless sleep, but something pulled him out of it. His eyes fluttered open. He glanced around to get his bearings, only to spot Roman staring at him from his usual spot in front of the TV. He was barefoot and dressed in red and gold pajamas. The bruises and cuts were already starting to fade. Virgil was happy to see him looking more like himself.

As the fog of sleep lifted, he realized how weird this was. “Uh... Roman?” he said as he raised an eyebrow. “Do I even wanna know how long you've been watching me sleep?”

Roman cleared his throat. “I just got here and... you looked so peaceful,” he said as he raised his hand almost pleading. “I didn't want to wake you.”

Virgil yawned and stretched. The nap had helped some, but it wasn't enough. It was good to see Roman was feeling better, but he would probably pass back out as soon as he left. The kitten plush he had used as a pillow was calling his name. “As long as you don't make it a habit,” he said as he stood up and stretched again. “Guess I've woken up worse ways.”

Roman nodded. “Good to know,” he said.

Virgil walked toward him. “You're looking better,” he said, smiling. He automatically moved his hand to cover it, but paused halfway and lowered it back down. Roman smiled back. It seemed genuine.

“Thank you,” Roman replied as he closed the distance between them. From this close, Virgil could see his eyes were once again clear and filled with life and emotion. “I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a daring rescue from my very own dark knight.” Roman smiled broadly as his eyes grew misty. “You are my hero Virgil.”

Virgil froze, his mouth open in shock as he blinked rapidly trying to process what Roman had just said. He raised his left hand to rub the back of his neck. “Um...” Virgil said as his eyes darted around the room. “Thank you?” He lowered his hand. “I'm sure the others would have done the same. I was just the only one fucked up enough to do it. I'm just glad you're okay or whatever.”

Roman's eyes softened. “I want to do something for you as a thank you,” Roman said.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Seriously Roman. You don't have to-”

“Nonsense!” Roman shouted as he interrupted Virgil. “I am going to help you recover and since you took away my bad energy, it's only fitting that I give you some of my good as well.”

“Whoa, whoa whoa,” Virgil said, holding up both his palms towards Roman. Any thoughts of sleep were thrown out the window. “Pump the breaks Princey. You're gonna do what now?”

Roman put one hand on his hip as he gestured with the other. “Why, I'm going to give you some of my good energy,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “That way, you can get back to normal much sooner.” Roman was practically beaming. Beaming!

“Nah,” Virgil said, waving his hand. “I'm good. I can rock the goth look for a while.”

“Then I suppose that have no choice,” Roman said with a mischievous smile. “I shall make us even for not asking for my consent earlier!”

Before Virgil could think, Roman had closed the distance, pulled him close, and pressed his lips to his. Virgil felt warm embers that burst into fire. It made every muscle relax in his body. His eyes fluttered close. It was like all of Roman's energy was focused in his lips.

Virgil was lost in the feeling until he realized that some of Roman's energy was seeping through. He concentrated his own energy to his mouth to repel Roman's energy. He expected Roman to feel disgusted. That he would let go and back away. What he didn't expect was Roman's body going slightly limp as he parted his lips and moaned.

That was all it took for Virgil to lose control. The normally cautious side raised his hand to cradle Roman's head as he tipped his own to the side. His tongue slipped past Roman's parted lips and into his mouth. Roman tasted like peaches and hot cinnamon. Virgil let his own cool energy flow into his tongue as it explored Roman's mouth. More moans escaped the prince's lips, spurring Virgil on. His fingers fisted in Roman's hair.

Virgil felt Roman's hand glide down and slip under the back of his shirt. A hand found the small of his back and pulled him closer. It was a strong, almost protective embrace.

Virgil withdrew his tongue from Roman's mouth, only for Roman's to follow behind. His tongue left streaks of fire where it touched. Virgil's eyes shot open before he melted back into the kiss. A sound bubbled up in his throat. He let go and allowed the moan to escape his lips.

Virgil felt weak and powerful at the same time. He wanted to stop and catch his breath. He wanted it to go on forever. His lips and mouth felt like they were on fire. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would break free of his chest. And he loved it.

Virgil let his right hand slip under Roman's shirt to feel the soft skin and powerful muscles hidden underneath. His hand rested on Roman's side as he absentmindedly traced small circles with his thumb.

They broke apart, each leaning on the other for support. Their foreheads pressed together as they tried to catch their breath.

Virgil smirked. “Told you,” he said, out of breath, “I didn't need it.”

Roman raised his head. “I suppose,” he said planting a soft kiss on the right corner of Virgil's mouth, “I'll just have to,” another kiss on the left, “kiss you without it.”

Virgil smiled and leaned into the kiss. It was softer than the first. Roman's energy was still there, but it was less intense. It was like the warmth from sunshine hitting bare skin. It felt relaxing and... safe. He didn't know why it felt so good or what the feelings were that seemed to be bubbling up inside him, but he didn't give a damn. Right now, there was this and that was okay.

When the kiss ended, Virgil opened his eyes to see soft brown eyes staring back. Roman looked so peaceful and happy, like he didn't have a care in the world. As Virgil gazed at the impulsive, brave man standing in front of him, he silently wondered if he could pull a muscle from smiling too much.

Virgil sighed and placed his left hand on Roman's cheek. He slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth under the dusting of eye shadow that was starting to form. “My room is starting to affect you,” he said gently.

“I know,” Roman replied without backing away.

Virgil held his gaze. “You need to get back to your room,” he said. “Recharge a bit.”

“Only if I can come back,” Roman replied as he dipped his head and raised his eyebrows.

Virgil snorted. “Seriously?” he said sarcastically as he shook his head. “You're kinda stuck with me now.”

Roman knit his brows together. “Any clue what this is?” he asked.

“No,” Virgil answered. “You?”

Roman reached out his left hand and laced it with Virgil's right. “Not a clue,” he said, “and I couldn't care less.”

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[sxmu-suma]

Paragraphs For Jimmy Because Hes Sleeping!

Daily Paragraph for the one i love, i'd do anything just to make you happy, you're so cute, and genuinely amazing. I love you more than i love myself and everything else, I wanna spread affection to you in any way i fr don't care if its irl or online idc, i just wanna make u feel special because you are ya know? I've never been happier since i met you! I love you<3 I hope you know your my everything and i would do anything for you. I would block every boy,shut them out, drop anyone you don't like, i try my best to make you happy. I'd do anything to make you laugh.....even cheesy jokes. i literally love u so much, your always on my mind and i just cant stop thinking about you. you mean so much to me i honestly can't predict life without you!! I honestly think wow i'm with this lad, he's so perfect, and the fuck am i like- you manage to put a smile on my face all the time even if i'm in a dark spot and i am so happy u entered my life because u have made it so much better in every way, you need to sleep though more my love<33 sorry to break it to u. I'm sorry i keep saying these things so much but i'm in love with you and nothing will be able to change that. Serious talk for a second, Honestly i never thought we would be this close and now that i know you are literally the best person ever. Thank you so much for everything, I swear i'm trying to stop Cutting myself aka playing fruit ninja. My day could be so bad, and it was yesterday because of time zones and you slept through two thirds of my day, Then you dmed me and i got butterflies<333 When i see ur name pop up i blush, YOU MAKE ME FOLD BRUV, LIKE KICKING MY LEGS BLUSHING. I wish you could see how beautiful you make the world. How you light up every room you walk into And make this world seem a little bit kinder. I wish you saw yourself the way i see you. babe..i have to tell u how much i love you. also baby u so god damn fine. But like omg yes, i hope your asleep right now or this will be really awkward but like u came into my life when i felt like everyone was leaving and life wasn't at its finest, you made me feel wanted and Let me talk to you when i wanted to.i I can only use so many words in the dictionary to show you how much i love you and you are always on my mind, putting a smile on my face and making my heart skip a beat. There are only so many ways to express my love and i plan on showing you just how much i love you. Ik you had an okay day bc u said Good ig, ISTG IF IT LOOKS LIKE I'M ANNOYED AT YOU,I'M NOT. you deserve the whole world, i mean it. you've done sm for me(Not physically,mentally) I don't want to fight, if we do i'd prob blame myself. I miss you when u sleep, but im glad your sleeping<33(this all was an accident i swear i just wanted it to start with a simple i love you) I love you so much you're the kindest most genuine person i have ever met, you're genuinely one of the best things to happen to me. I cried a bit re-reading this. I feel like this isn't enough so ima keep going<333 I feel so lucky to have you we have only been dating for a tiny bit but you've made me so hppy in that little amount of time, i cant think of anyone else i would want in my life i love uuuuuu. Okay honestly People in Italy are slaying, Even though theres a 72 foot tsunami coming or smt and theres like 2 missing volcanos, a child been kidnapped and like 17 missing pizzas.

[naturaldisasturrr]

This is goodbye:

From the first day we locked eyes I knew that you were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, little did I know that it came with heart ache, tears, laughter, happiness, sadness, loss, etc but at that moment I didn’t care because I knew exactly how I felt. Talking long distance made me learn things about you that other people never knew, I got to know you for you. The moment you told me you loved me I had no idea what to say because I’ve been through so much hurt I didn’t want to give another person the opportunity to hurt me again, but after awhile we connected so much that I could feel myself falling for you and I was scared but I told myself I was ready to experience a whole different kind of love. I remember the heart necklace and the card you wrote me on our 5 months and I was so in awe because no one had ever in their life done something so sweet. The moment I came back and you begged me to come see you, I did and, in that moment, feeling your arms around me I literally felt like I was floating like everything that I had going on outside of us didn’t matter anymore because you were my light at the end of the tunnel I didn’t want to die anymore. I told you the one secret I was hiding from myself, the world, and everyone around me because I confided in you I literally put every inch of me into you (that’s what he said) little did I know you cheated on me 2 weeks before I moved back. When you told me and you said “I will tell you, but I know it will end us” the only thing I wanted was the truth and I responded with “there’s nothing that could ever break us, I’m here”.. We moved passed it and we literally hung out almost every day, I remember you would text me at 8 AM EVERY DAMN MORNING wanting me to wake up because you missed me, and you wanted to see me.  I remember when you skated all the way to my house just to see me and totally busted your ass and I felt so bad, but you told me “I would go through a snake pit if I had to just to see you”. After time things just started getting harder everyone found out about my step dad, and at the point I literally felt like I had nothing.. there’s a secret that I’ve been keeping from you that happened the night I went into treatment.. do you remember how we were messaging each other and I told you “ I love you, but I need to go now” & you said “ everything will be okay I’ll be here waiting for you” well the moment I got off I slit my wrist and I downed some pills and I was literally begging to just have it all ended.. I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore I didn’t want to feel like everything that I had gained over almost a 9 month span was just going to be taken I would have rather wanted to die then to feel alone again. The moment I tried to call you in treatment and you answered you were so excited to hear my voice and you told me “I thought I’d never hear from you again”… Moving forward, I ended up moving in with you after a while and everything was just great (or so we thought) but as time passed we started becoming distant and started falling apart and that’s when other people started getting involved and I didn’t understand why or what I was lacking that you had to find it in other girls.. All I could think about was “ I love him so much, idc” Then it started becoming a repetitive thing and I just didn’t know how to handle it anymore I didn’t I just felt myself going back to the same place I was the day I went to treatment and I didn’t want that I didn’t want to feel that pain ever again and I literally could feel it dragging me back.. when all I wanted and needed was you that’s all I ever wanted… I wanted you to want me I wanted you to love me I wanted you to just see that you had someone who wasn’t gonna leave you.. the pain that I went through I didn’t want you to feel that because I knew how bad it hurt and I wanted to be your light at the end of the tunnel... fast forwarding this just started becoming a cycle you’d find someone better and id be at home waiting.. until after a while I started trying to do my own thing because I got tired of waiting around but even then I always found myself crawling right back no matter what you did to me. Until the last time you did was when I finally told myself I didn’t want to keep doing this.. I moved out and it was hard getting over you but I was doing and we were just friends. Still sucked because you would call me and tell me how you had so much fun at a party or that a fight broke out but never thought to yourself the girl im calling is the girl who is crying over me the girl I completely broke, but again I didn’t care because hearing your voice I felt life.. I contemplated just ending myself because I was right back in that dark place except this time it was worse… then you asked me to stay with you while your parents were out of time and I told you it wasn’t a good idea and your words were “ I would really love it if you stayed with me” and I fell for it.. I ended up moving back but we were still on “friends” but at that moment I became okay with it because I would rather have you as a friend than to not have you at all. As days passed by you would always ask me are you okay? You look sick? Why are you always sleeping?... come to find out we were pregnant but we didn’t know just yet until I took the test and we were both freaked out because we didn’t know what we were going to do and still we weren’t together… after a while everyone started finding out and even then everyone would say “oh theyre not gonna last” “theyre going to end as soon as the baby comes around” but we proved them wrong we gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL.. and in that moment I fell back in love with you.. things were great or so I thought we ended up moving into our own spot we were doing sooo great everything finally felt at peace.. then marriage became a topic little did we know you were going to lose your job… & at this point we were debating on moving to KS… well 2 weeks before we were suppose to get married you were trying to sleep with someone else.. & that’s when everything just shattered right infront of me because I thought we were doing better I thought that things were fine again.. but again it was just a routine that I got use to. We got married.. we moved go KS… and things just started getting worse… your mom and I were constantly at each others throats, gma and I weren’t getting along.. and I just right back in the same position I was in before.. I decided to buy a plane ticket back home and that’s when you said that if I was leaving you were leaving too so we packed up the car and moved right back to VA… after awhile we got our own place and at this point once again things were great again we both had jobs we were living for ourselves for once… then jasmine passed away and you were dealing with work and I was dealing with a loss.. when I needed you to be there you had other stuff going on so I tried to deal with it by myself.. I left for MN for her funeral and you called me saying you got a reckless ticket and got mad at me because I wasn’t worried about that or the fact you almost went to jail.. but I wass trying to learn how to accept that my best friend just killed herself.. I came back and things started feeling different and we started arguing… lets move forward to today.. I guess I just got tired of arguing and I got tired of trying to show you that all I ever wanted was to be here for you and that all I needed you to do is show me the attention or show that you wanted me.. as time started going by I felt myself letting go not because I wanted to but because nothing was changing so it’s what I had to do.. then the moment I moved out was when it clicked and you started trying but at that point I was so deep in just not wanting it to be another routine I put up a block.. and then we started hanging out having fun and I thought that this time was different because you were giving me the attention you were showing me what I wanted and I was happy again… I fell in love with you even though I kept telling myself to hold up a guard.. just incase… well we made plans to DC for our 2 year anniversary and everything felt so amazing because I had the man of my dreams by my side and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Well.. then IT happened.. and my heart just shattered in pieces.. and at that point I just shut down… and now we are in the position we are in now and everything that has happened these last few days I still want you Im still IN LOVE with you but if I admit that that means im admitting that I’m willing to continue to get hurt by you again.. so I need to let you go because im done being hurt by you im done being happy just for it to get taken away all over again… as to why I told you after everything that happened over the weekend I cant hate you and I cant be mad at you because im in love with you.. but in order for me to accept what everything is and everything that has happened I need to find happiness within myself I need to let go of everything to start over.. i need to let go of the old me to be a better me..