#this is far more detailed than the last one partially just how I wanted to show everything

[sibillascribbles08]

A while back my first ever post for rottmnt was about how Donnie died in the bad future so now what if I wrote about how Raph died

Some quick notes for context:

I hc Casey Jr. as trans. His given name was Arum (after the toxic flowers yes) so he’s still referred to as such during this. I hc Raph as??? definitely not cis and Cassandra often uses she/her pronouns for Raph while Donnie often uses he/him

Added commentary in my tags if u want it uuuuu okay have fun????

Donatello could accept dying.

He’d come to terms with that ages ago, not long after they got thrown into this war. Despite all the measures he took for safety, defenses, he always kept it in the back of his mind that any number of things could kill him and that would just be that.

He couldn’t, however, accept that Cassandra and and his niece would die with him.

What a mess and a disaster. All it took was one Kraang hound following a squad to this base for the army to show up. They had an alert, at least, a heads up. Most everyone escaped.

But two year old Arum was harder to find. Donatello and Raph both stayed behind with Cassandra to find her, where she’d tucked herself away, while Leo and Mikey took care of setting up their backup base.

Donatello wouldn’t admit half his motive for staying was to, potentially, set off the self destruct sequence to put a dent in their numbers.

But so much for that. Cassandra’s leg got injured. She was against the wall behind Donatello, holding Arum in her arms.

And Donatello couldn’t move. He just stood there, staff out, his magic tech projecting a shield into the open hallway to stop the enemies from getting in. By now there were so many of them, too many. Kraang hounds, corrupted humans, and other flesh like monsters all pressed against the shield, adding to the pressure.

Donatello knew it wouldn’t hold forever. Knew if he tried to do anything else the shield would fail and they’d be overrun in seconds. How was he supposed to get them out of this?

Where was Raph? Already gone? That thought put a vice grip on his throat, almost squeezing out a sob.

Donatello wanted his big brother.

He didn’t know what to do.

The room shook. A sharp crack came from above. Donatello turned his gaze to see the concrete giving way. No no no. Were they going to bust in from there too? Donatello didn’t have time to make another shield.

Another crack. A huge slab fell from above. Dust exploded into the room but Donatello refused to drop his shield. Not yet. Not yet.

“Cass.” Raph’s voice rang out through the room. “Donnie!”

Donatello watched his big brother first run to check on his wife and daughter. His breath shook when he exhaled, so relieved to see him, but he kept his concentration on his magic as the kraang tried to put another dent in the shield.

“Cass, are you okay?” Raph spoke from behind.

“Fine. Had worse. Take Arum and get out of here.”

“You’re both getting out of here.” Raph insisted. “Donnie--”

“Take them and run.” Donatello interrupted. “I’ll keep buying you some time.”

“I’m not leaving you here either, Donnie.”

“You don’t have a choice.” He snapped. “The second I drop this shield we don’t have time to escape.”

He waited for some final words, or another argument. Instead there were some quiet whispers from Raph, probably speaking to Cassandra, then the sound of a gentle kiss.

Donatello glanced back at the shifting of rubble, seeing Raph approaching him.

“We have to get you out of here, Donnie.”

He glared at his big brother. “No you don’t. If you try then none of us are getting out. Just--”

“You have to get out of here.” Raph insisted. “Without you, your tech, the resistance is dead in the water. We need you, Donnie.”

“You will figure something else out.”

“No.” Raph hardened his tone. “There has to be a way out of this.” He glanced at the shield, at the wall of monsters just behind it. “Think you can make that thing just a bit smaller?”

“What do you mean?”

“Small enough to fit down the hall. Then I can punch it, send all of them back. At least long enough to give us a chance to run, right?”

That seemed stupid, insane. “Raph, it would insure your family’s survival far more if you just--”

“Donnie, trust me.” Raph held his shoulder. “We’ll get you out of this.”

Donatello didn’t want to listen. Why couldn’t Raph just take Cassandra and run?

“Fine.” He sighed. “Get ready.”

Raph’s ninpo already flashed around his fists, light trailing up his arms. It glowed bright, hot, like it often did these days when he wanted to increase the impact of his strikes.

Just as his big brother rushed toward the shield, Donatello let it shrink down. Pink tentacles and teeth tried to worm their way through the gaps, but a second later Raph hit the shield.

The impact sounded like an explosion. The entire thing rocketed down the hall, taking the monsters with them. The edges of it shredded some of them, smearing flesh and blood along the walls. Donatello held back the bile in his throat as he finally released his magic.

“Go help Cass up.” Raph told him, keeping an eye on the hallway where some of the creatures were already screaming as they approached once again.

Donatello rushed over to Cassandra. He hoped to see her relieved, or at least angry at this whole ordeal.

Instead she looked horrified.

“Donatello.” She shouted at him. “You idiot.”

What? What was she talking about? He followed her gaze, back over to Raph.

The devices seemed to fly toward him in slow motion. Two of his escape pods, the things he hadn’t brought with him because he’d given them to all the other people on base.

As soon as they got close enough they sprung open. Metal clicked as it shifted into place. The belts shot out, grabbing their target. One snatched Cassandra and Arum off the ground while the other aimed for Donatello.

He tried to weave out of the way, run around it toward his brother who had his back to him. But it wasn’t enough. The devices were meant to chase their target, on the off chance they got snatched by an enemy during launch.

He almost got close enough to grab Raph’s shoulder when the belts snapped around his chest. It jerked him backwards, into their.

“Raph!” He screamed. “Raph, what did you do?”

“Sorry.” Raphael finally looked at him, smiling, in spite of the onslaught of kraang reemerging from the hall. “Take care of them for me, okay D?”

“No.” Donatello screamed as the cover snapped down. He tried to pry the belt off, release the hatch, but it was too late for that. “No. Raph? Raph!”

The pod launched into the air, out of the hole Raph created earlier. Had he planned all this from the start?

Donatello kept staring at the old base, praying that Raph would somehow find another way out of it.

He could see the shock wave hit the ground before red light emerged from the ground. It twisted into the shape of his big brother, a bigger construct than he ever created before, almost glowing as bright as the sun.

It aimed a punch down, and as soon as the fist collided with the ground everything exploded.

Donatello flinched when the shock wave from that hit the escape pod. Thankfully it stayed intact, and on course. He tried to look back at the base but by now it was nothing more than a crater and a pillar of dust and flames.

“Ra... Raph...” He barely got the word out. Shock settled into his systems, rendering him silent as the base got farther and farther away.

As Raph got farther and farther away.

Donatello failed to hold back his sob this time.

He wanted his big brother.

[kathaynesart]

The eye of the hurricane. I like to think Cassandra sometimes called the brothers by the nicknames their dad used, given they were probably pretty close before his passing.

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

Man oh man, this one was way messier and off model than my last few updates but whatever, we got to keep this ball rolling! Life's been crazy so I've had to take some unwanted breaks in between updates. Thanks everyone for your patience as always!

One thing I wanted in this flashback was to really get a sense of how the brothers worked as an experienced team with Leo at the helm as a proper leader. It's something we never got to see much of in Rise and I felt it was important to include since half the team is already gone by the time of Replica. Team Dynamics Ted Talk under the cut!

We know from Casey Jr that Leo stressed the importance of listening to your team. A big part of that also means knowing how to communicate with them in general.

With Michelangelo, he keeps it short and succinct, trusting his brother to know what he's doing when in his element. This trust goes a long way with Mikey, having spent years of his youth as the baby striving for the respect he felt he deserved. Leo knows it's best to not bog Mikey down with details, allowing him to improvise as needed. This unspoken freedom has only grown over time as Mikey has dipped deeper into spiritual arts that, frankly, go completely over Leo's head.

The greatest sacrifice Leo has ever made was read Donnie's Big Book of Bad Guy Codes. While he doesn't remember ALL the numbers, he has memorized the ones that matter and it has helped tremendously in avoiding miscommunication with his genius brother. More importantly it silenced any of Donnie's usual belly-aching. As Leo's "twin"/"equal" the two still butt heads from time to time. Donnie respects his brother's authority (mostly) but will still push the boundaries of what he's allowed on a semi-regular basis. Give Donnie an inch and he will take the mile and then find a loop hole that allows him to go twenty miles more. This is partially due to him often being the one left behind at HQ, making the turtle just a TAD stir crazy. Leo does his best to keep him in line regardless.

Big brother Raph will forever and always be big brother to Leo. As such he holds a place of authority in Leo's heart and is someone he still regularly seeks counsel from in both the ways of leadership and more. Raph is always happy to support his younger brother and does a surprisingly good job (albeit after years of practice) of walking the line so as not to step on his brother's toes in the process. At least not since the secret of "the Key" blew up in their faces several years ago. They don't talk about that anymore. Leo is the leader now and he's done a great job in recent years as far as Raph is concerned. He trusts him to make the right call. The two have a close bond and regularly use mind meld to quickly communicate rather than speak ...this will be important to remember for the future.

Hope that overall feeling came through for this group!

[danaewrites]

you with the dark curls (you with the watercolor eyes)

part ii: i wanna hear you speak to me

james potter x reader // read it on AO3

word count: 3.6k

summary: “Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.”

tags: best friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, based on the song "dear arkansas daughter" by lady lamb, fem!reader

author's notes: new year, new chapter! i started writing this one back in SEPTEMBER and finally had enough time away from the terrors of calculus homework to finish it. thanks for reading my story so far and i hope you enjoy this incredibly self-indulgent chapter, because i had way too much fun writing it!! i promise that the angst in this chapter *will* be resolved, but it was too deliciously tempting to resist sprinkling a wee bit of hurt/comfort and dramatics in there as well. sorry not sorry!

read it all here: part i, part ii, part iii (coming soon!)

“I’ve got no bloody clue how Dumbledore can be so energetic all the time,” you groaned, head in your hands as you peeked out at the headmaster’s more-than-slightly manic grin from your seat at the Gryffindor breakfast table. You were far too sleep-deprived to process his latest choice of garish attire: a bright chartreuse robe covered in plaid polka dots, topped off with what appeared to be rhinestones and tinsel attached to his beard.

Perhaps if Kettleburn hadn’t assigned you three feet of parchment on the seventeen glorious properties of dragon dung yesterday and expected it done by this afternoon, you might have appreciated the headmaster’s creative fashion choices– oh, who were you kidding. There really was no understanding that wizard, even properly rested. James and Peter had made a bet during fifth year on how long it’d take Dumbledore to crack under a constant deluge of pranks in his office, but they’d quickly realized that the man was too far gone to do anything but take inspiration for school events– an idea that was quite frankly, comically frightening, and the sort of thing you weren’t keen on pondering on a normal Tuesday morning.

Sirius wrinkled his nose sympathetically and slid the pile of raspberry jam tarts closer to you. “Late night in the library again?”

You nodded sheepishly, gratefully taking a pastry from the pile. “I honestly don’t know why Pince allows me to stay past curfew. Marauder’s luck, I guess?” Your attention was diverted by the sound of hoots and flapping wings as the morning owl brigade arrived, apparently choosing a kamikaze dive-bomb approach to deliver this morning’s newspapers. Ah, the joys of living at the world’s most advanced magical school.

Sirius, ever the epitome of grace, slipped under the table as a rogue owl zipped past, popping himself back up just enough to throw you finger guns. “Exactly right, doll, exactly right,” he grinned. “Trust me, Marauder’s luck gets you everywhere. And I mean everywhere,” he winked, sending you a lecherous smirk.

“Ew, Sirius, I don’t even want to know,” you sniffed. “I’ve learned my lesson after the mental trauma your tales of Dorcas’ birthday adventures inflicted upon my psyche. Please, spare me the details.”

“What? All I meant was Slughorn’s Christmas Party, of course!” He batted his eyelashes angelically, still partially covered by the tablecloth.

Your mouth gaped open in shock. “Last year’s Christmas party? Sirius Orion Black, I refuse to hear another word! What on earth would your ancestors think, with you bragging about such exploits-”

He leaned over, eyes wide with laughter. “No, I meant the one Slughorn is throwing on the 21st, it’s exclusively for us lucky seventh years this time. Although, you bring up some very fond memories… okay, okay, I’ll stop, don’t kick me–”

“What are we kicking Sirius for?” James slid onto the bench across from you, eyeing a groveling Sirius with interest. Peter joined him, but wisely chose to stay away from the ruckus, piling his plate high with the bacon the owls had spared. Remus was noticeably absent, spending the morning resting in the infirmary after a rough night of shifting– which you assumed was much more peaceful than the current chaos at the Gryffindor breakfast table.

“Oh! Good morning, Jamie,” you beamed up at him, passing him the plate of desserts you’d been protecting from Sirius’ nefarious advances. “Morning, dove,” he greeted you, and then paused. “Ha, get it? Morning dove?” He puffed up his chest smugly and nudged Sirius with his elbow in a futile effort to make him laugh. You huffed fondly at his antics. Boys.

Sirius rolled his eyes and took advantage of your momentary distraction, retreating back onto his seat to nurse his wounds– to your ever-growing delight (and Sirius’ woe), you had recently discovered that the Hogwarts girls’ uniform shoes were quite sharp. “At this point we should call you Lames. ‘Cause your puns are lame,” he muttered.

You shooed him away with a brush of your hand, remembering what Sirius had mentioned earlier. “According to Sirius, Slughorn’s hosting a Christmas Party again this year. Let’s pray it won’t be like the last one.” You muttered. James and Peter both looked vaguely ill at the prospect, shuddering in unison. “My tie will never look the same again,” Peter griped, but suddenly sat up straight in his seat. “Hey, wait, we’re finally old enough to bring dates to this one! Without sneaking them in, I mean.” 

Sirius snickered and lightly punched his shoulder. “Why, Petey, got some lucky girl in mind?” Peter reddened and glanced over at the Hufflepuff table, where a certain freckled blonde was chatting with her friends– a move that didn’t go unnoticed by James, who gave a delighted wolf-whistle. “You got a thing for Lucy Abbott, huh? Might want to make a move before Smith does,” he grinned, gesturing to the tall brunette boy who’d just arrived and sharing a knowing smirk with you. You giggled at Peter’s increasingly pouty expression; he’d figure out sooner or later that Smith was definitely not interested in Abbott– or witches in general– but it was entertaining to see him out of his comfort zone. Peter had always been the quietest of your little group, and you privately thought that a bit of momentary romantic angst might spur him to be more assertive. An ironic opinion, considering how your own love life revolved around the fact that your best friend had feelings for someone else… and you couldn’t do anything about it except mope.

Peter scowled. “Easy for you to say, Prongs, you’ve finally got precious Lily-flower wrapped around your finger. I bet you’ve already asked her!”

There it was: another reminder that James wasn’t yours, and never would be. You watched as the Gryffindor boys good-naturedly jostled his shoulder and tousled his curls. James grinned sheepishly, shrugging off their teasing. “Not yet,” he admitted, glancing hopefully at the end of the table, where Lily was chatting with her friends. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Aw, come on, we all know she’ll say yes this year.” Sirius winced, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. Peter glanced at Sirius, drawn by the movement. “What’ve you got to worry about? Half the population would kill Dumbledore to get one dance with you. The only person who’s got to worry about a date is me– well, and maybe Y/n, I guess.” His face suddenly turned contemplative, looking you up and down. “Are you going with someone?” 

Sirius’ grimace became doubly pronounced at Peter’s tactlessness, and you felt your face heating up. Peter had a way of accidentally hitting on the issues others tried to hide. It wasn’t his fault he’d never heard about your trips to Hogsmeade with a paramour– in fact, none of the boys had. Because there hadn’t been any. You’d spent your entire time at Hogwarts pining after James, and as a result had missed the romantic milestones your classmates had already blissfully bragged about. 

Peter looked at you expectantly, waiting for a response, and you opened your mouth to confess your lack of experience when you spotted a familiar redhead walking gracefully towards your side of the table– to James, you realized with a start. Something within you ignited as you watched her glow with confidence, carefree and lovely as ever. Lily would never pine after someone uselessly; she knew she could get anyone she wanted with the right amount of banter and flirty gestures. You... Well, you weren’t there quite yet, but maybe it was time to take inspiration from the Muggle saying and ‘fake it til you make it’. And before you could think about what you were about to do, you turned to Peter and smiled coyly. “I might.”

James’ and Sirius’ heads snapped up immediately from their perusal of the breakfast lineup as they let out an identical murmur of surprise. “What?” James furrowed his brow, looking you up and down– seemingly trying to discern whether you had taken a holiday from your senses, most likely via Bludger-induced concussion at the last Quidditch match. Sirius merely raised a questioning eyebrow at you. You groaned internally, knowing that you’d have to explain yourself later… although, if your half-baked idea worked, you’d be spending a lot more time with him anyway. For now, you beamed innocently at both of them and took a sip of your pumpkin juice. Apparently, the Sorting Hat had placed you in Gryffindor for a reason- you were either incredibly brave or incredibly foolish to commit to this plan, but with Evans quickly approaching, you saw no other choice.

Peter looked momentarily shocked, then glumly began to assemble an egg and bacon sandwich seasoned with the occasional mutterance of “unfair” and “perpetually single, my arse”.

James’ eyes were still trained on you. “Who is it?” he asked, searching your face again as if he was looking for some indication that you were joking. You shrugged, trying to look casual. “I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”

“Dove-” he began, but Lily finally reached his seat and placed one stupidly perfect hand on his shoulder, diverting his attention momentarily. “Sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but Professor McGonagall asked me to bring you to her office for Quidditch scheduling.” James blinked, glancing up at her and then at the rest of the table. He stood up and focused on you again, expression clouded. “I’ll see you in Potions, yeah?”

Sirius stood up quickly, ushering him out of his seat with a speed you’d only seen him use to gulp down cheap Firewhiskey. He gave you a significant look. “Actually, Y/n and I were just about to take a walk, isn’t that right? So we'll both see you in Potions, what a sublime coincidence, now don’t be late for your meeting–” he chattered on as he shoved James toward the doors of the Great Hall, the latter eyeing him suspiciously but moving nonetheless. Sirius turned to you and pointed to the courtyard entryway. “You. Me. Talk, as in right now.”

Once you were sure that you’d made it out of earshot of Peter and the rest of the Gryffindor table, you wheeled around to face him. “Okay. First of all… I didn’t plan that.” Sirius raised an eyebrow again. “Second of all, I need a favour,” you pleaded, staring up at him with the most adorable doe eyes you could physically summon. They were usually most effective on James, for some reason, but you were sure that Sirius wasn’t immune to your manipulation either. He groaned, resting his face in his hands. “How do you even have a date? Last time I checked, also known as yesterday, you were still head over heels for Prongsie, doll. So do I need to check you for Amortentia or somethi–” He peered out from between his fingers with annoyed realization. “You don’t have a date, do you.” 

You blinked innocently up at him. He let out a long-suffering sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “This is what you need the favour for? You want me to go with you to Slughorn’s party so you can pretend in front of the rest of Hogwarts that you’re not madly in love with Jamie?” 

You grinned confidently up at him and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Aw, Siri, you know me so well. It’s almost as if you were maaaade to be my date for the party...” You fluttered your eyelashes up at him one more time for good measure, trying to hide a smirk. “Alright, alright, stop with the Bambi act, I’ll take you.” He scowled good-naturedly. “You know, this is going to ruin my dating pool for the next month.” 

You scoffed. “As if! If anything, you’ll just have more people fawning over you– temptation of the forbidden apple and all, you know.” 

Sirius brightened up considerably at this revelation. “Well, why didn’t you say so in the beginning, doll! I vote that we match in purple velvet, it does wonders for my complexion–”

You gave a very unladylike snort at the thought of you and Sirius swanning into the party in some sort of horrendous plum-coloured disco getup, and shooed him away towards the Potions classroom. That was an eyesore to imagine sometime when you weren’t about to get a headache from the dim dungeon lighting.

Slughorn greeted you and Sirius by directing you to the front of the classroom with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oho, a pair of latecomers, I see!” He winked at you and Sirius in exaggerated motion. You winced as Snape jeered and nudged Malfoy, who was busy enjoying Flint’s crude gestures at you. Ugh, Slytherin boys. The worst of the lot. Their snickers were quickly stopped by James chucking a handful of powdered wormwood at their heads when Slughorn turned away, making Malfoy’s prized hair appear covered in soot. You shot him a grateful smile. 

“Since you two missed my initial remarks, let’s see if you can make it up by identifying today’s potion, hmm?” Slughorn gestured dramatically to a shimmering green brew in a cauldron next to his desk, cherry-coloured smoke curling off of the top invitingly. 

Sirius shot you a panicked look, clearly not expecting to be put in the academic spotlight, but you shook your head and stepped closer. You smelled something rich and incense-like, which meant that Bumburrel leaves were a key ingredient. And combined with the way the smoke was drifting lazily around your wrists, curling higher and higher… “Brew of Mandelian, sir. Used for sharpened acuity under times of pressure.”

Slughorn gave a delighted chuckle and clapped his hands. “Well then! Ten points to Gryffindor for paying attention in lectures!” He dismissed you and Sirius with a wave, moving on to explain the finer points of ingredient preparation to a very bemused George Goyle as you slipped into your usual seat beside James.

You worked in quiet harmony for a moment, methodically slicing and crushing the slippery beetles needed to give the brew its signature green colour while James handed you the insects. He broke the silence after six beetles (not that you had been counting or anything) with an awkward, “So… you have a, erm, date?”

You huffed, motioning for him to hand you the foul-smelling Moorish tubers next. “Honestly, James, is it that surprising?” He scratched the back of his neck, frowning. “Well, I– yeah, I guess.” he trailed off, seeing your expression. 

“The tubers, Jamie, thank you. I mean, you looked at me like I was a ghost back in the Great Hall!” You were decidedly not making eye contact with him, trying your best to focus on the slimy plants in front of you and not the fact that your best friend-slash-unrequited crush doubted your romantic potential. What a way to be humbled– and while covered in tuber juice, no less!

He huffed, running a hand through his already messy curls. “Come on, Y/n, it’s not like that. What did Sirius want to talk about in the Great Hall, anyway? You two looked… chummy.” 

You glared down at the copper slicing board. “Well, it’s none of your business how chummy we are, is it? I don’t interrogate you every time you converse with Peter. In fact, it’s rather expected that Sirius and I speak to one another on occasion, considering the amount of time we all spend together thanks to you.”

You moved to grab another tuber from the jar, but James reached out and grabbed your hand, forcing you to look at him. His hazel eyes were alight with frustration, a look you knew by heart thanks to the hours you’d spent tutoring him in History of Magic after he napped his way through the entire first semester. “Are you serious? You’re actually going with someone?”

“Please, Jamie, do enlighten me on whyever you think I couldn’t possibly get a date with my numerous and diverse charms,” you sniffed, hoping to Merlin that he would just leave the entire subject alone. 

“No, it’s–” he groaned, leaning back in his seat. “The other boys, they don’t know how– you’re so, I mean, just look at you!” he exclaimed, gesturing at you. He stopped, frowning to himself, looking more confused than before. He glanced over at Lily, expression becoming even more muddled, brow furrowed and hard to read to anyone but you. 

Your mouth parted in shock, and to your dismay you felt tears bubbling up again. You blinked fiercely, refusing to let him see you cry. James thought the issue was… your looks? You suddenly wanted to crawl under Slughorn’s desk and never come out again, except perhaps to find a shovel to dig your grave with. This was far, far worse than watching him transfigure chocolates for Lily every Valentine’s Day. Now you knew for a fact he didn’t find you attractive– thought other boys didn’t either, even! And the way he’d clearly mentally compared you to Lily after what he’d admitted… well. There was no recovering from that. Teenage boys could be dense, but Merlin, how you had wanted him to at least let you down gently. 

You wished you’d never opened your mouth to lie about having a stupid date in the first place, but you forced yourself to laugh and mutter something trite about how that could all be fixed with a couple glamour charms anyway so it really wasn’t an issue for the party, thank you very much. He looked even more confused, opening his mouth to respond, but Snape chose that moment to interrupt.

“Hey, Potter!” James turned to scowl at the greasy Slytherin as you thanked your lucky stars for Snape’s interruption (a rather disturbing thought– potentially a harbinger of an imminent apocalypse. You’d never thanked Snape before in your life and hoped to never do it again). “Here’s payback for earlier,” he smirked, checking that Slughorn had dozed off and the other students weren’t paying attention before whipping a mottled yellow bottle at James.

James’ carefully honed Quidditch reflexes kicked in and he quickly dodged the object, but as the vial soared up, up, past your carefully diced tubers, over James’ messy notes, it hit your arms and shattered. You flinched in pain, crying out as the glass shards embedded themselves in your arm and the congealing, repulsive liquid dripped down your hands and onto your thighs. James lunged towards you, but it was too late– the potion had already seeped into your skin, causing an awful sparking sensation. 

You gasped, grabbing onto the desk as the feeling bubbled upwards. “Jamie, I don’t– I don’t feel–” you stuttered, suddenly lightheaded, and you heard someone gasp as you began to taste something metallic. You absently touched your nose. Why was it so cold and wet? You had been so careful not to touch your face around those horrid tubers and oh, oh Merlin and Morgana what was that pain in your hands and legs, please no make it go away someone help me help me HELP

You vaguely registered someone whimpering in the background. It might have been you, but you weren’t entirely sure what was happening outside of the electric symphony of agony crescending in your nervous system. The pain built swirled flooded through until you weren’t sure where you ended and the potion began which was a funny thought because of course you were you, but you couldn’t remember who you were before this so you laughed but that really hurt, oh how that hurt no no no no no bad idea–  

“Fuck– no–” James? Was he here too?

You blinked– when did your eyes open?– and saw him reach for you, frantically pushing his dark curls off his forehead. Why would he do that? You loved his hair, even when you were feeling funny awful things from the potion. You felt his arms scoop under you, lifting you off your seat as he caught your head from falling back. You heard a door slam open, footsteps, darkness clouding your vision–

His voice. “Sweetheart, no– don’t do that, I need you to keep your eyes open.”

You blinked again, trying to focus on James’ face. He looked pale, jaw set and tensed like it was before his Quidditch games. Were you moving? You couldn’t tell whether James was walking or the hallways were walking around you. He glanced down again, exhaling with relief once he saw whatever he was looking for. “Yeah, just like that. Keep those pretty eyes focused on me, okay?” 

He thought your eyes were pretty? 

James gave a tight laugh. “Yeah, I think your eyes are pretty, dove. Hold on a bit longer, we’re almost there,” he choked out. 

Oh. Had you said that out loud?

But you thought– he had said something, before, you couldn’t remember now but it was important and it hurt–

Some part of you, deep where the potion hadn’t reached, had melted at his words. That part was tinged with pain, too, but in a different way, raw and honest and hopeful and all for him. Or maybe that was the potion, you were pretty sure witches weren’t supposed to melt unless they were green and lived somewhere much further west, but your thoughts on the whole process evaporated as you reached a white door and a woman and your words started to swirl until they melted too and everything went black.

taglist: @magpiencrow @that-kid143 @itmustbegreattobecalledtheitgirl @lilly-aliyah @milivanili99 @stars-havefallen @spidergwnn @prongs-moon @joeytribbiani18 @yeahright0h @ronancebot @ropickle @regulusblacksposts @lovelywritersgarden @helloitsmeeeeeee @xobridgertonblues @azuredgalaxies

please comment if you'd like to be tagged for any of my works/fandoms in the future! :)

[scourgebff]

more from the hollycinder partners in crime au, their little family ( original concept/au idea by @the-owl-tree )! i imagine dovewing got cinderheart’s build with hollyleaf’s striking features while ivypool is leaning more towards hollyleaf’s tall stature but cinderheart’s recognizable markings.

holly’s disappearance into the tunnels after upending the entire normalcy of thunderclan had left quite a stir in her wake. ivy and dove grow up trying to make sense of and deal with her legacy in their own ways. cinder is in the middle, fiercely protecting her daughters’ youth from a world which wants to press the weight of everything on their shoulders far too readily while also struggling to figure out her own identity.

very detailed brainrot under the cut

it seemed like an ironic twist of fate in the eyes of lionblaze and jayfeather that dove was to take holly’s part in the prophecy, quickly sweeping her under their wing and closely guiding her paws. the lingering worry that she would stray from them and onto a dangerous path as holly had- doubly so since lion was made dove’s mentor. lion is fiercely protective of dove, seeing in her a bright potential and genuinely wants her to succeed. however it is quite clear to everyone that he’s projecting his sister onto her, for all her talent and resourcefulness going beyond the shadowy pelt and leading to heightened expectations. dove swallows down her discomfort at the pressure, wanting to make everyone proud and live up to their expectations, not only as warrior but as part of a prophecy so much larger than herself. one that she feels is partially to blame for driving her other parent away, as jay eventually reveals to her to full truth, leading to feelings of guilt she doesn’t even particularly understand. torn between stars and shadows, her paws wander over clan borders in search of an answer or escape for herself while discovering things she’d never expect.

meanwhile ivy feels like a spectator in her own life. listening in on near constant rumors and gossip about her family that she isn’t even included in, instigated by a cat she doesn’t even know. getting even further frustrated by just how passively helpless to remedy anything she is. while cinder treats the two girls completely equally, ivy isn’t blind to the practically palpable anticipation thunderclan holds towards dove. she’s a prodigy, with the undivided attention of both the clan’s healers and one if not the strongest warrior as a mentor, sent on journeys and given extra assignments as cats discuss how promising she is- yet also the level of suspicion cats hold towards her for being related to both a traitor, a healer, and a windclanner. ivy is of course of the exact same blood, yet she might as well not exist to anyone but dove and cinder bar a few extended family members. feeling isolated yet reluctant to try and burden her already troubled closest kin with insecurities she feels are ‘insignificant’, ivy meets hawkfrost who seems to not mind listening. in fact he says he relates to her, having a controversial family history himself. ivy asks for advice, ending up gaining confidence with his helpful suggestions and in turn drawing closer to the dark forest. she seems more well adjusted, yet in truth she’s merely getting better at lying and giving cats a spectacle to notice her by. while her social life improves, the unease in her grows as she’s gradually lured into working for the dark forest. ivy with new confidence and supposedly trustworthy new friends feels as if she can balance the danger despite rising escalation.

cinder, ivy, and dove remain extremely close. there is certainly friction between ivy and dove, however cinder is incredibly involved in their lives. refusing to let them lash out at each other and drift apart, she’s reminded all too painfully of her bitter last interaction with holly. she regrets how they ended, strangely enough considering how she didn’t regret dirtying her paws with blood to cover up holly’s sins. what she will not tolerate however is disrespect against her kits, growing estranged from her childhood friends jay and lion upon seeing how oddly they treat dove. it’s an uncomfortable situation, yet dove and ivy both are incredibly grateful to always have cinder in their corner. just for her they’ll set their reservations towards each other aside to form an at least temporarily stable truce. that being said, cinderheart being a reincarnation of cinderpelt actually has relevance to her character here that can be a whole other post on its own so i won’t go into it.

holly is more washed than a rack full of clean dishes icl. fleeing into the tunnels was a temporary solution, made at the peak of her mental crisis she initially tries to ignore how horrifically she treated so many cats. pushing it aside, and trying to restart herself. yet she can never forget cinder, even when she leaves the tunnels to become a wanderer cinder’s loyalty always sticks out so clearly. the kindness that holly had pushed and pushed and pushed until it broke and now here they were after that blow-out argument upon the gathering’s aftermath. a lot can be said for the time she’s out living as a rouge, but she eventually will have to come back and face her horrible past mistakes. unfortunately not before meeting a cat who might change everything for the worse- darktail C:

there’s some more i could mention because the cinderholly brainrot is infectious but i already rambled enough sorry TY IF U ACTUALLY READ THIS LOL UH </3 reward for making it down here is the fullbodies of these very normal not tortured individuals i consider them an equally normal amount

[woshi-liu]

Ratiorine fake-dating WIP—

“Well, on the bright side for you, we might not even need to go so far. But you're aware of where I draw the line, and I know to give you a heads up. So why don't we get our first kiss out of the way now, hm? Tear off the proverbial band aid, as it were.” It's meant as a partial joke — partial in the way that he can leave his foundational walls standing tall in the case of rejection. A feat that does not come. Ratio straightens beside him, searching his face, the path of his gaze non-linear. “Very well.” “I'll make it quick,” Aventurine promises, mostly to himself. Out of all of the sorry sad-sacks he'd fumbled with previously, none have been half as unreadable as Ratio. He supposes the doctor always had been one of his riskiest gambles.  Bringing his hand to cup the back of Ratio’s neck, he's surprised to be met with no resistance. On the contrary, in fact. He's met halfway. Aventurine is, self-proclaimed, a fantastic kisser. He's nothing if not enthusiastic, with an oral fixation to boot. But even here, it starts off a little clumsy; a little bit askew. On the second go, he tilts his head, exhales slowly, parting his lips, and — oh, he thinks, there we go. Ratio's mouth is warm, soft, and surprisingly pliant — and then it's surprisingly open. A willing participant. He's thorough, too, his hand moving to settle upon Aventurine's knee, lashes fluttering like dainty feathers against his cheek.  He tastes a little like the lingering last dregs of tea from earlier, his tongue tentative and fleeting. Aventurine goes to make chase, just to see it linger a few moments too long – to scratch a strange carnal itch for connection under the guise of meagre practice. But as much as it contradicts his baser impulse for mindless risks, he pushes his luck no further than this. But ‘quick’, be damned, because when they do eventually part, it's with a gasp for breath, a few moments spent bumping noses. A little lightheaded, Aventurine finds Ratio staring back at him, lips parted and kissed pink. It's problematic, Aventurine quickly realises – this unbecoming want for more. He never wants more; never lingers for long enough to savour the taste of it. Men are often selfish, insatiable beasts that only want to take from a Sigonian thrall – to bask in the allure of his eyes and to make him squirm. Although, he supposes he's not exactly in the business of kissing… direct acquaintances? … Friends?  Eh, it'll be tomorrow's problem.  “See?” He says, half laughing, half with the wind knocked out of him. “That wasn't so bad, was it?” That seems to be the moment Ratio comes back to his senses. With one final squeeze of Aventurine's knee, a gesture that says something, something silent and yet so stark, he re-establishes their distance.  “I never said I'd deem it to be bad,” he murmurs, gaze averted, absentmindedly wetting his lips. “Once again, I knew well enough what this mission would entail, idiot. Or do you think me dense enough to allow that vital detail to escape me?” Ah, so back to normal it is then. Good. That puts that particular concern at ease. “Ha ha. Well, there's more where that came from.” It's supposed to be in jest – mindless flirting – and yet it's spoken with the sincerity of an optimist. Sue him, it was nice, even if just for the moment. “So, how about it, hm? Shall we get this show on the road?” Smoothing down the adornments of his outer robe as if shaking off a whit of dust, Ratio stands. “Get dressed first, and then we'll take our leave.”

[lovemeafterhrs]

living with suna rintarou - two / dinner with the team

word count: 1k

warnings: smoking/alcohol consumption, rintarou being dumb and jealous

“you have got to stop mixing your laundry with mine.” she could hear the gravelly whine of suna’s voice before she caught sight of him in the doorway. a lacy black thong dangled from his index finger, and she was greeted with one of his trademark scowls. 

“also, i can’t find my black tie. did you manage to steal that too?” he took another step into the room, dropping her sorry excuse for a pair of panties on her bed. 

“actually, i think so.” her confession earned her another scowl as he watched her rise from her vanity. after catching him staring, she couldn’t help but do a little twirl for him before she grabbed his tie from the closet. 

“what do you think?” she questioned, even though she could tell exactly what he thought about her outfit without having to ask. his wandering eyes and flushed cheeks told her everything that he wouldn’t. 

“hot. aran’s going to shit his pants.” he gave her a thumbs up, eyes partially glazed over as he admired every little detail about her. suddenly without the ability to control himself, his mind was starting to race with thoughts that he could only determine as inappropriate. he was only pulled out of his daze when a strip of black fabric hit him directly in the face. an unimpressed frown fell over his features as he moved to pull it under the collar of his shirt. 

with eyes averted far away from temptation, he tried to keep himself from thinking too much about skipping the dinner entirely. he scoffed at the youtube video he was watching, utterly confused at where he was going wrong. it didn’t help that she was staring him down the whole time, and he started to feel the back of his neck getting warm under her piercing gaze. 

“do you need help with your tie?” she teased, watching him struggle to figure out how to replicate the video tutorial on his phone. it was cute, truly. watching him be so entirely helpless was doing something to her, and she couldn’t keep herself from smirking as she rose from the bed with her arms crossed. 

“no. it’s just been a while since i’ve done this.” he frowned, grumbling under his breath as he tried again. “it’s kita’s fault for choosing this fancy fucking restaurant.” 

“are you sure you don’t want any help? we’re gonna be late at this rate.” she took a step closer to him, clearly entertained by his many futile attempts. 

“fine. only because we should’ve left about fifteen minutes ago.” she snickered at his detested tone, reaching for the black silk as she pulled the knot tight against his adam’s apple. she could feel it bobbing against her fingertips as he gulped, her perfume wafting into his nostrils as she admired her work. her hands slid over the fabric of his white button-up as she tapped his chest reassuringly. 

“there you go, handsome. now let me get my shoes, we’ve got about ten minutes to get to the restaurant.” not even allowing him a moment to digest her choice in pet name, she pulled him towards the door and threw his jacket into his arms. 

nervous hands fidgeted with the rings decorating his right hand as they waited to speak to the chipper hostess. the restaurant was far too crowded, and every table bustled with patrons from the moment that the pair walked inside. servers whirled around the room with platters of drinks as they spotted the twins in the back of the bar. she offered him a shrug, taking his hand as she led him towards the large table. 

he recognized his old teammates seated together, looking a little more mature than the last time he saw them. friendly faces occupied the surrounding chairs as they greeted him with bright smiles. introductions were brief, but filled with curiosity as rintarou explained their current living situation. just like that, she was brought into the conversation like she’d known them for years already. 

just like suna had assumed he would be, aran was very clearly impressed by his old teammate’s plus one. he’d even gone as far as to buy the first round of drinks and make sure she got plenty of embarrassing stories to use against her roommate later. 

the first hour was filled with the clinking of glasses and the laughing of his old friends as they caught up on the last few years of their lives. dinner was served, and he found himself taking notice of just how familiar his roommate had already gotten with his old team. it seemed that the captain had caught her attention, and he could feel the pit starting to form in his gut as he watched them interact. 

“suna.” osamu started, only to earn an immediate glare from his friend. “you’re staring daggers right now.” 

“hmm.” was the only response he received, not missing a beat as he motioned for the waiter to bring him another drink. across the table, his roommate’s giggles could be heard as she rested her hand on his old teammate’s shoulder. 

“kita’s not that funny.” he huffed as the waiter placed his third drink of the night next to his long-forgotten dinner. 

“chill out, she’s just trying to make friends.” his huffing caught the attention of the other twin, whose words were just as hushed and playful as his brother’s.

“doesn’t look very friendly to me.” suna bit back, rolling his eyes as he caught her gaze from across the table. she looked so good, too good. he had enough competition, the last thing he needed was kita’s addition to her list of potential boyfriends. he took another drink of his cocktail, mind swirling with a tonic of jealousy and arousal that made him almost sick to his stomach. within moments, her phone was vibrating in her lap as she looked over at him quizzically. 

“you’re impossible.” she mouthed, holding back a snicker as she felt her phone vibrate again. 

[whumble-beeee]

hiiiiiii bee

im so fucling curious what the backstory is behind deeby and lana omg. meant to send a more coherent ask but post work braincel decrease is hitting me hard. also the dutch petname thing scared tge fuck out of me the first time.

ps this is also thw first time ive anon named myself

love - 🌿🚫 anon

God, mood about the post-work braincells. Also, I mean this with so much love, but it means so much to me that I managed to scare the shit out of you with that lol. He gets. Just so much worse. Let's just say everyone in my discord servers I introduce him to universally hate him with a passion. Get ready.

ALSO technically parts of Declan and Lana's backstory are giant spoilers, including what will be one of the bigger plot twists, so I can't tell you just yet. HOWEVER, what I can do is reiterate and highlight things I've already said in-story, plus what's gonna be revealed soon when I actually upload her character profile lol. All that under the cut.

So the first time you really first start hearing about Lana is in Chapter 7, where we also meet Vaughn for the first time. In that, we learn that 1. Declan and Lana are ex boyfriend and girlfriend. As in they actually used to date. 2. Lana is Declan's boss now in some capacity (and was the one to order Stan's kidnapping), and 3, Declan fkn hates Lana. So much more than he hates Vaughn.

In Chapter 8, we learn that 4. Vaughn and Lana are currently dating. That's not really too relevant, but it's really funny to me because their relationship is... something. I'm sure you can imagine. It's very mutually manipulative and they both know it, its awesome.

Anyway, then in Ch. 9, through Stan and Deeby's yelling match, you learn that Declan and Lana's relationship is complicated and he refuses to talk about it, but 5. he's kinda obligated to do whatever Lana says or face unspecified consequences.

Skip to Chapters 11 and 12, the ones with Marcus at the convenience store getting harassed, where we first meet Lana in person. We learn a lot about her, mainly that she 6. acts pretty bubbly and ditzy but is actually pretty smart, 7. is completely fine with SA, 8. is manipulative as hell, 9. feels safe enough to fuck with Declan's plans because despite how much we know Deeby to exert his will over others, he wont do shit to stop her. and 10. The big one: she was the one to give Declan his burn scars (with acid btw. everyone in the story has a weapon of choice, bc superhero lol. Lana is injectable poisons, gasses, acids, etc.). This is mostly just something you could assume, but when she gave him that burn scar, that was the turning point when Lana started manipulating Deeby.

Chapter 15, it's mostly just more of the same, Lana telling Deeby to keep Stan for longer, and Deeby can't argue back, he hates Lana but he has to do what she says, whatever.

So, to put it all together for you: Lana has Deeby under her thumb for some reason. She acts fake, she's manipulative, she's relatively smart, and she dated Declan which means she would get to know some of the more intimate details about him that she could blackmail him with. Also something happened between them where she literally burned him with acid, and now she is his boss (she's the CEO of Supramed Corp. actually, which would be revealed whenever I get around to posting her character profile lol) and makes him do bounty hunting jobs as well as basically whatever she wants. That's what we know so far.

You'll learn more about Lana as a person as well as the nature of their relationship as time goes on, and a lot of Declan's behavior has been partially shaped because of her. There's a lot more to her that hasn't been uncovered yet, although the context clues are all there in the story. I just pointed out the specific ones that relate to Deccy.

Also, one last thing to leave you with. I focus a lot on eye color in this story, it's always very important, it tells you a lot. Lana has bright blue, sky blue type eyes. Can you maybe think of another time I've described a character with eyes like that?

(also if you have any questions feel free to ask in another ask or the comments lol, idk if any of this is even comprehensible)

[princess-nobody]

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: Mae Thoughts

(Spoiler Warning)

So I just got home from watching Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, and while I can't articulate it very well right now, I will say that I do not like Mae very much... perhaps in the future, when I rewatch the film, I will make a deeper and more detailed post on this, or even change my thoughts entirely, but here's my initial thoughts.

I want to start this off by admitting my obvious bias, I have never been a huge fan of the human characters in the pota reboot franchise, I understand their necessity and there's a few I enjoy (loved Nova in War) but overall they have consistently been the least interesting characters in each movie. This isn't really a pota problem, this is just a problem with xenofiction in general; that is to say, in a world of sentient apes with heightened intelligence as well as their own foreign cultures and lifestyles, the recognizable humans who are alike to the audience in behavior, culture and general lifestyle are going to be the least interesting. Even my favorite franchise Avatar struggles from this, with Spider being not that interesting by virtue of him being surrounded by far more fascinating na'vi characters. Therefore, I admit I'm partially biased because Mae is human, and a lot of humans in this franchise are mind-numbingly boring.

Before I get negative, I will say that I adore how they handled Noa and Mae's conflict – I remember thinking halfway through the film, "aren't they supposed to be bonding by now? Why is there no chemistry?" only for the film to end with them having ended up even more apart than they were when they first met. Fundamentally, Noa and Mae cannot get along because they both represent very different mindsets on the current state of the world. Mae bringing the gun to confrontation only proved that she never gained a respect or new outlook on the apes, and Noa could not pretend to like someone who sees him as an animal undeserving of the life they now have with their newfound intelligence. So yeah, good job Kingdom!

With that being said, I feel Mae as a character wasn't as effective as she could have been because of the fact that she triggers a specific sort of annoyance in the audience, which has everything to do with the fact that (pretty much) everyone who went to see this film had seen the last three films. The victim act is understandable from a personal standpoint – it's been 300 years since War, most humans are feral and only those living in hiding are still in any way like regular humans, so of course Mae sees the apes as her oppressors – but after watching three films that are set over the span of decades following humans absolutely terrorizing the apes and nearly killing them off, despite said apes begging them to just leave them alone, it's hard for you to feel all that bad for the humans in this situation.

It's difficult to be accepting of the narrative that it is now the humans that are the victims in this story, when it was the humans that experimented and abused the original apes, it was the humans that created the simian flu, it was the humans that instigated the original ape human war and it was humans that killed Caesar. The humans started the war, and they also happened to lose it. So, while I can understand Mae and her motivations, it's very hard to see her in a sympathetic light with the knowledge of all of the atrocities humanity has inflicted upon the apes.

It also doesn't help that Mae just didn't get as much development and time to be eased into the audience as she could have, especially since the movie is over 2 hours long (which I find hilarious, considering the pacing issues it has). Whenever she was on screen, she was either nasty to one of the apes or being typically defiant and rude, and if she wasn't doing that, she was having incredibly awkward moments of conversation with them. She barely had a character aside from the human girl that's tagging along, and her motivations ultimately don't do enough to justify most of the decisions she made.

The fact that I cannot tell you anything about her aside from she's a human and wants to make humans smart again, despite spending 2 hours with her, is a sign that she was not a very well thought out character. I respect the nods to the original Nova, but I feel they really dropped the ball with Mae.

Then again, we probably have another 2 or 3 movies to go, so maybe they'll rectify this in coming films lol.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Flash vs Rogues: Who Appears More in a Given Issue

I stumbled upon an old blog post (from 2006!) that tripped one of my OCD triggers. (Don't worry; I'm okay now. My OCD is fairly mild and I am on medication for it.) I'm not going into great detail because the blog appears to still be active and I don't want to get into an Internet debate with the person who does the blog (not least because obviously they didn't intend to trigger the OCD), but part of the article was basically about how Geoff Johns spent too much time focusing on the Rogues instead of Wally, about how giving supervillains sympathetic backstories is a bad idea (because all supervillains must be 100% evil? Because supervillains are/should be inherently unsympathetic?), and about how supervillains are inherently unrealistic and superheroes should just fight random criminals instead (since superheroes and regular criminals are realistic, but supervillains aren't?).

Since I am a person who is a bit of a sucker for sympathetic villains, but am also constantly afraid that this makes me a bad person, my OCD was set off, and I had to talk to my sister about it. Luckily that (and doing some praying) helped. It also helped to realize that the person who wrote the blog post in question hadn't even actually read the comic issue that the blog post was partially based on (Flash vol. 2 #214).

The blog post also mentioned that they thought that the Rogue War storyline in particular was too focused on the Rogues at Wally's expense, and that this was a sign of how modern comic writing has gone downhill since, I can only assume, part of Geoff Johns' run. This made me wonder: do the Rogues actually appear substantially more in Rogue War than they do in older comics?

Here's what I found:

In Rogue War issue #1, the Rogues appear in 10-13 pages (of a 21-page story, and counting all the villains and reformed villains, including Zoom, as a conglomerate). Wally appears (or is narrating) in 6 pages of that same story, Jay Garrick appears in another 2, and there are an additional 4 pages that focus in whole or in part on heroic supporting characters. It's also worth noting that the 10-12 pages of Rogues stuff is being divided between 4 reformed Rogues (James, Hartley, Magenta, and Mick), who probably shouldn't be counted as villains as far as the narrative is concerned, Hunter, and the 5 non-reformed Rogues (Len, Mark, Axel, McCulloch, and Owen). This means, at most, that each villain is getting, on average, roughly 1.8 pages to themselves (and remember that this count is including Hartley as a villain, even though he's 100% reformed through the whole arc). Wally and Linda, who are in most of the 6 pages together, each have roughly 3 pages, or nearly twice as much page time as any individual villain. Furthermore, taking all the good guys together, there are at least 12 pages that focus, in whole or in part, on our protagonists, which is at least equal to the page time that the bad guys are getting. If you take into account the fact that the reformed Rogues should technically count as protagonists, then the good guy page count jumps to 14 and the bad guy page count is 10, which means that the true villains are in less than half of the comic. Granted, some of the good guy panels are them discussing or thinking about the bad guys in some capacity, but since they're trying to stop the bad guys (as heroes do), this doesn't seem like it should count against their totals. Even if you want to get extremely technical and not count any pages where villains physically show up in any capacity, there are at least 10 pages where it's all heroic characters.

Flash vol. 1 #174, published in 1967, is 23 pages long (including the opening teaser page and the half-a-page last page). Of these pages, there are exactly 2 that feature only heroic characters (and one of those two is the half-a-page last page). Conversely, there are 9 pages that feature only villainous characters (or hapless civilians, but if they change the count then the number of pages with just villains drops in the other story too)---which means that over 4 times the pages are focused on just bad guys compared to those focused on the good guys.

(Interesting side note: Sam Scudder, the main villain, appears in or narrates over 61 panels, while Barry only appears in or narrates over 46 panels (though some of these panels do overlap and feature them both). Since there are 110 panels in the story, this means that Barry (the main heroic character) is in 42% of the story, and that Sam alone is in 55% of the story. Even in terms of just page count, Sam has like two entire pages all to himself.)

In terms of the pages that exclusively focus on unambiguous heroes, then, at least 48% of Rogue War is exclusively or near-exclusively focused on the protagonists and their thoughts, while in the story from Flash vol. 1 #174, 8% of the story only shows heroic characters. So while the bad guys get more exclusive page time in Rogue War than they do in Flash #174 (62% of the page time vs 39%), so do the good guys...and the increase in page count for the good guys is much larger than the increase for the bad guys.

Or take Flash vol. 1 #243. Do you want to know how many panels the Flash appears in in this issue that aren't being narrated over by a villain? Three. He appears in three panels, out of 61 in the issue as a whole. That's 5% of the whole issue, and of those panels, only 1 of the 3 isn't technically part of Roscoe's wider narration. Close to 77% of the story is told from Roscoe's POV, and then another 12 to 13 panels (20-21%) is from the other Rogues' perspective. Combined, basically 97 to 98% of the whole issue is arguably just Rogues---and Flash doesn't appear in any capacity for half the story. Granted, this is a bit of an extreme case, but it definitely proves the notion that a story that focuses heavily on the antagonists is not new in Flash comics.

Similarly, Flash #266 is only about Heat Wave (and other villains) for 4 of its 17 pages (roughly 24% of the comic as a whole); Barry only has 2 pages to himself. The rest are split between them. In Flash #306, which has 18 pages, there are 2 pages that only show Mirror Master and 1 page that only shows Barry; the remaining pages are divided between them both. In Flash #307, while the Pied Piper isn't narrating the story as such, a solid 2-3 pages of the story are entirely focused on his background and backstory; this is roughly equivalent to the amount of solo page time Flash gets in the same story.

There are more examples, but I think you get the point. "Story that features the Rogues almost as much as the Flash himself" is not a recent development in Flash comics and definitely predates Geoff Johns.

[7grandmel]

Blog Update - 16/06/2024

TL;DR: My 1-month break is over! The blog is returning but with a slower rate of posts. New forms of posts will start rolling out soon as well - scroll down to the bullet-point list for details.

Hello all! I've been receiving some asks and questions in the request form wondering where I've been this past month. Rest assured, I've been fine. With Athletic Doctor back in May, I reached the one-year anniversary of doing this daily-rip-posting thing, and today, June 16th, marks the one-year anniversary of this blog's existence as a whole with Snowball Park - Super Mario 3D World. Because yeah, for those first 30 posts I didn't do this as part of a blog, but as a daily activity for my own personal Tumblr account on @melblur. If you compare the word counts on those first few posts (the "First 30 Archive") to the posts made later in the blog's run, you'll likely be able to see how my focus in writing evolved, going from mere shoutouts and recommendations to full-on retrospectives and analysis. That was a large part of why I chose the blog's initial name as "Tumblr's SiIvaGunner Historian", there's something about regaling these oft-forgotten events in the channel's history that just invigorates me, a passion that kept me doing this for a year straight. What began as nothing but a laid-back writing exercise to keep my mind sharp became something that, on some days for rips that I was truly passionate about, drew my FULL undivided attention for an entire day's worth.

You saw the TL;DR, and you can probably tell where this is going. By the last few posts, I was noticing myself that this really isn't sustainable to keep doing at a daily rate. I've worn that pace as a badge of honor for so long on here: In my mind, it just made so much sense for a blog celebrating SiIvaGunner, a channel partially defined by its insane rate of uploads, to also do things at such a high pace, with so many references to past posts interconnecting them all just like the many in-jokes on SiIvaGunner itself. But this blog isn't a network of a hundred team members and a thousand contributors - aside from the requests on what to write and footnotes left by a rip's creator, everything made on this blog has done solely by its writer, me, Mel. I loved it - but I do think its about time I slow things down.

I was as torn on this choice as you likely are seeing it - after all, it's called "TODAYS siivagunner" for a reason, right? I was toying around with how to resolve this as far back as in March of this year, tossing around ideas and concepts as to rework the blog to be more feasible whilst still preserving its spirit. The April Fools prank, the legendary Raftmageddon of Raft Ride ~ The Story So Far, was sort of an offshoot of this, a day where posts were more rapid-fire than ever yet were all contained to just five or six sentences each: Short, snappy, concise, and even pretty casual and silly a lot of the time. And that was really fun for the sake of the bit, it again fit with the nature of Raft Ride the same way that my main posts sort of fit with the nature of standard SiIvaGunner uploads, but I realized even then that it wouldn't be a good fit for the blog's main posts - the things that make both you and I most happy as readers and writers respectively are when I get to truly get down to the meat of a rip and explore its contents and history to the fullest.

A month went by quicker than I thought it would, but alas, here we are. A lot can change in not so much time - I'm currently employed, for one, which is yet another reason why daily posts feel far less feasible, but I'm also spending my time expanding my interests, listening to albums, reading books, watching shows, talking to new people...I want this blog to keep going, but I also don't want to use it as an excuse for my own lack of growth as a person. And so, I've landed on a compromise that I hope will satiate all of us. Here's the current plan for the blog going forward:

Rip coverage will be going from daily to weekly, posted every Monday starting tomorrow, June 17th. In return, the goal is to make these posts as well-written and interesting to read as possible.

Requests for these posts will still be taken as normal. I'll of course try to prioritize requests from people who haven't had theirs featured on the blog yet, but keep in mind that it's still up to my judgement if I'll be able to have enough to say on a rip (or know enough about a rip's topic) to warrant writing a post on it!

New, more laid-back kinds of posts for the blog will be featured in the days between rip coverage posts - these will be a lot simpler in nature and made ~2-4 times a week depending on my schedule. Here are some examples of posts I have in mind!

GIFs and image sets from the channel's various visual rips and/or lore videos! Think the Christmas Comeback Crisis, the KFAD Tournaments, the Festival events of Season 4, 5 and 6, legacy content posted on the SiIvaGunner Twitter account, and more!

Character appreciation posts featuring all sorts of characters from the SiIvaGunner lore! Celebrate the figments you love with all twelve other SiIvaGunner fans on Tumblr!

Trivia about the channel, which I'd otherwise sneak into main posts, may get small little posts in of themselves! This can be anything from Did-You-Knows about how in-jokes have been carried on during the channel's life, to easter eggs and references, to fun tidbits about rippers themselves.

Shitposts! Goofs! Stuff I'd otherwise reblog under the #epic flintstones tag, basically.

Miscellaneous text posts related to the channel, such as Guides, summaries, or just whatever various thoughts I have!

All of these will have their own tags dedicated to them, just like #todays siivagunner - what tags they end up being is still up in the air and may change even as the posts are rolling out. Either way, the blog's pinned post will be continually updated with all the relevant tags and info about the blog - keep an eye out on it during next week.

Whew! That's a lot of stuff covered. I hope you're as excited for the second year of this blog as I am! Hopefully the greater variety of posts will help with the longer wait between "main" posts. The goal is, as you can imagine, to keep the blog a fun read for you all and just as much of a fun passtime for me, whilst also easing my own workload enough to make it manageable. I love running this blog more than anything, and I'm hoping this new schedule will give me more energy to make better posts - Maybe I'll even get a chance to interact with all of you even more by discussing more than just per-rip analysis.

Thanks for reading everyone - That SiIvaGunner Tumblr Blog will officially be back tomorrow!

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №8

DSMP edition!

How much of fault was actually inspired by dsmp? Like sure, it's kind of an au but at this point it's just a whole another story with complicated characters that probably don't resemble their dsmp counterparts all that much.

What's your favourite dsmp character and why? Feel free to rant about their morals and the psychological implications of their story etc etc

Boom void madness begone, the fault crew + Ranboo (ik they're a minor character but I love that sucker you should make him more major) meets their dsmp counterparts how do they react. Specifically they are told what's going to happen and then teleported to an empty room for an hour. The same is done to the dsmp guys. The guys are taken from an unspecified time somewhere before Dream is broken out of prison but after Techno is broken out. So everyone are alive and somewhat mentally stable. Besides Wilbur, he gets teleported right before he leaves for Utah. And you can chuck Ghostbur there too if you wanna. If you do then they get teleported together. Also that's assuming that's the same universe where the fault crew have listened to the songs. Just cause I wanna see Fault!Tubbo turn out to be absolutely wrong.

I feel like the last question was loaded so this is a free pass. Talk about whatever you want to here.

man i spent like an hour answering this and then it deleted itself alas. *kracks knuckles* round two

Very little tbh. Fault occasionally nods in the direction of the DSMP at most. Things like Tommy's powers were inspired by him asking Techno to bail him out and causing nearly every war, plus Techno's voices and being insane in battle. Tubbos' hivemind thing was actually drawn from my first intro to Tubbo being him screaming about the Romans burning archives + Big Law bits, but those were more jokes that happened on the dsmp than lore stuff. Funnily enough the OG plan for Ranboo did not involve them in amnestics at all (which is based heavily in Ranboo's memory stuff) but then like two years later I had a eureka moment. Some dynamics were influenced by the dsmp, plus some of the themes that get explored like isolation, dehumanization, control, etc. Details crop up occasionally, like Wilbur getting white hair from the void or XXX, but for the most part the plot of Fault is generated from pure cause and effect. Resemblances to dsmp are some what superficial. I don't imagine anyone is in character so to speak.

Techno forever and always. I only got into the dsmp to get more Techno content. I'm desperately trying to remember the whole monologue I had written here. I just love how chill he was while everything around him was on fire, usually partially his fault. The dichotomy of him was fantastic, with this really kind and amicable guy also being the scourge of the server. I particularly like how earnest he was. Like, weirdly trusting despite how much betrayal happening, always taken by surprised when someone turned against him. Which is absolutely INSANE for a guy stockpiling weapons of mass destruction to not be horrifically paranoid. Plus how on a server full of corruption arc this madness spiral that Techno decided to step back of his own volition and do some introspection on his flaws. He had the monopoly on violence and still was like 'hmm maybe I can find better methods of moral persuasion'. Him forever and ever.

The Tommys bicker about something trivial and it escalates into a full blown war somehow, spawning instant chaos that drags everyone in orbit into it. This in fact how they bond. They end up unhealthily attached to one another to a concerning degree.

FPhilza is utterly disappointed in CPhil. For killing Wilbur, leaving Techno in prison, and all of exile arc. Yes CPhil has arguable culpability in those and FPhil has kinda done the last two. This is partially FPhil's own guilt, but also he justifies it to himself as CPhil had more of a choice to help and didn't. Also he thinks Doomsday didn't go far enough. CPhil would be rather irritated about it I think.

Techno and The Blade get along amazingly. Commiserating over imprisonment and dehumanization, boasting about battles, quipping back and forth. They compare notes on whose voices are better. I think Techno would try to ride The Blade into battle for the laughs.

Uh disclaimer I only watched half of the Utah stream bc it got copy rite claimed half way through and I just shrugged and gave up on the dsmp, plus hadn't ever watched Wilbur's stuff. So I'm guessing here. FWil first and foremost is aghast that CWil had a home and then BLEW IT UP. FWilbur finds Revivebur uncannily similar to the void: cunning, manipulative, with an agenda. It treats him accordingly, calculating with a purr in its voices, ready to lunge if it needs to. Revivebur is irritated he can't control FWilbur, plus it threatening him openly. FWilbur thinks Ghostbur is an idiot, but deep down is really scared that his own memory loss could get that bad. Potentially leads to it reevaluating the whole repressing trauma thing.

FTubbo is embarrassed for misreading the song so badly. I want them to compare handling getting disabled by Techno since I think both could get something out of it what with the butcher army, dehumanization, forgiveness, healing, etc. FTubbo is completely freaked out with the nuke thing.

Since I think FRanboo spent most of their life in the Foundation, they're enamored with CRanboo's life. I mean, he has freedom, a home, a family...

4. NIKI. AHHHHH. I'm trying to workshop her at the moment, have general motivations and character interactions and parts of her powerset. I'm really torn between two design choices that could have big ramifications rn. But anyway she'll have such a cool part at the very end for the 2nd epoch, and chunks of the third. Niki is a thaumiel like Tommy, and oohhhhh boy is she messed up about it. Exploring the vessel system, reminding of earlier plot threats, examining Foundation control tactics, foreshadowing for both a major villain AND The Blade & Tommy's character arcs, really digging into the magic system, new fun ways for trauma to manifest...god. Nikiiiii.

[satoru-is-the-way]

“Long Long Time”

 A/N: Based off the 3rd episode of the last of us and so far my favorite. I am in love with this episode! Cried so much! Next week on Feb 5th or sooner I will release my first chapter of Little Lion Man a Joel x Reader series based on the HBO Max show with hints of the game. 

Tag List: Let me know if you want to be on the tag list

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR TLOU EPISODE 3, Cussing, Blood, Death, Depression, PARTIAL SMUT, MDI!

*(S/n)- Sibling name*

Flashback - Italicised

You knew Joel Miller long before the outbreak. You met Joel when your younger brother introduced you. (S/n) ((L/n) and Tommy Miller are childhood friends. They grew up together meaning you had little to do with the group of boys. But you fancied the older brother just a few years older than you. At first, it had been nothing but a childish crush. As the years passed, that turned into more. Regardless, he never saw you in such a way. You both took separate paths resulting in families, spouses, and children. Whether or not you realized it, those feelings towards Joel Miller never left. 

One thing led to another 20 years after the outbreak flew by. You lived with Joel in the QZ for years. Tommy went missing and now there is a young girl who claims to be the cure. Now here you stand at your old 'friends' house, Bill and Frank. Bill reminded you more of Joel while Frank is the total opposite. You meet the couple a few years after the outbreak. 

Flashback 

Joel and Bill sat across the table from each other exchanging glares. Frank cleared his throat. "More wine?" He questioned picking the bottle up. You nod holding your glass out. Frank poured you a generous amount. A few slips later you felt the tense atmosphere drain. It had been a long time since you tasted such a delicious alcoholic beverage. Bill picked up his gun and Joel reached for his side holster. 

"Billy stop"

"Joel don't." 

With a grumble, Bill dropped the gun allowing Joel to relax. "Would you like to see the house?" Frank asked. 

"I would love to!" You replied. 

"No, don't!" Replied both the men at the dinner table watching as their other disappeared into the house. 

"Oh, this is beautiful. I dare say my dream house!" You laughed (e/c) orbs taking in every detail fingertips dancing over the piano keys. 

"How long have you and Joel been a couple?" Frank's question caused you to choke on your semi-dry wine. With a sigh, you sat down on the piano bench. 

"We are not a couple. Never have been. His brother and I were childhood friends. So I grew up around them both. Mainly Tommy…But Joel and I never amounted to anything. One-sided romance story." You confessed quicker than expected. Perhaps the wine made your tongue lose. 

"Really? I did not get that feeling. The way he looks at you. The side glanced. His posture walking next to you…Bill looks at me the same way. Have you talked about it with him or made any sort of move?" 

"No, and I don't plan to. I never need such a stubborn man before. More than I am! And that is saying a lot." 

Frank chuckled, "Hm. Well just know I am here if you ever need to talk. What are friends for?" This caused you to smile and raise your glass. "So (Y/n) do you play?" 

"I knew the basics but that is when I was a child." You replied Frank sitting next to you. 

"Well then let me teach you a little song I know. Bill's favorite."

It had been a year since you last met with Frank and Bill. Their home is overgrown and dead plants are everywhere. No sign of forced entry so you both assumed nature has taken her course. Entering the home felt different. Empty glasses and half-eaten food molded. You frown sitting down at the table. Ellie rushed past you picking up a whole letter. Joel left the two females going deeper into the house calling for your old friends. 

"For whoever but probably Joel," Ellie whispered, opening the letter. She began to read the last message that you would receive from Bill or Frank. Your heart sank. It was a good and happy emotion. One that is hard to explain. You at least could say you had made one friend since the outbreak. Had dinner with them on different occasions even if things were for business. It felt nice to see there are still good people. You closed your eyes as Ellie read the letter but paused. 

"What is it, Ellie?" She looked up at you with a smirk forming. "Nothing. Just telling Joel to keep people he loves safe." 

"The letter is from Bill?" Joel asked entering the room. 

Flashback. 

"No, don't!" They replied. Joel watched (Y/n) disappear with Frank. He groaned and looked down. 

"Never listen." Joel earned a partial chuckle from Bill. "I'm sorry I had no idea what my- my friend had in store saying she was talking to some man on the radio." He comments poking at his home-cooked meal. When you too him about meeting up with some man a jealous and protective rage engulfed his body. 

"I don't trust you." 

"Same here. But you are going to need our help. That fence has a year tops…Listen you want to keep your partner safe then trade with him. " 

"I don't need your help or your girlfriends."

"What? She isn't - nothing more than a friend." 

"Look, Joel. I spent all of my life hiding my feelings. You need to be honest with yourself… The fence? Fine. We can work something out. I want to protect the person I love." 

"Yes…They are gone. Asked not to open the bedroom door." Ellie whispered. You turned around walking over to the piano. A gentle smile crossed your face. You imagined the lesson Frank taught all those years ago. 

"Are you ok?" Joel asked, touching your lower back. 

"Y-Yeah. Just …I don't know. Sad."

"Well, I am going to take a shower. They have hot water here!" Ellie left the heading upstairs. 

You sat down fingers brushing over the keys before 

D E F#M D E A 

Taking a deep breath you continued.

" Love will abide, take things in stride.

That sounds like good advice but there's no one at my side

And time washes clean love's wounds unseen

That's what someone told me but I don't know what it means" 

You felt the song move through your body. It is related to your relationship with Joel. The male stood lips parted listening to your angel voice. 

" 'Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine

And I think I'm gonna love you for a long long time." 

Your voice trembles as the lyrics only pulled those feelings for Joel closer and closer to the surface. 

" Caught in my fears

Blinking back the tears

I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near

And I never drew one response from you

All the while you fell all over girls you never knew

'Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine

And I think it's gonna hurt me for a long long time"

You stopped, unable to finish the song heading towards the door. Joel followed you calling your name each step. 

"(Y/n)! Please talk to me!" He sighed, combining through his salt and pepper locks. He thought about letting you walk away. But he couldn't. "No! Stop." He gripped your arm pulling you back. 

"Joel enough! I don't want to talk about it!" You yelled tears falling from your cheeks. 

"I love you! Damnit!" He yelled, breathing heavy. 

"What?..." 

"I love you. I always have. I figured you needed someone better than me…You still do but I can't stop how I feel. Ever since we met…And even now I can only think of you. Dream of you. Crave your touch." 

You moved close and he leaned in kissing your lips. A soft whimper escaped the adrenaline and ran over your entire body. Joel couldn't keep your hands off you. Feeling your hips, thighs, running up your body to squeeze your round breasts. "J-Joel" You moaned. Joel growled, pressing you against the nearby the boutique. He wraps your legs around his waist grinding hard cock on you. 

"Fuck I need you." He whispered not feeling his cock so hard for a while. Joel pants roughly getting the friction he desperately needed. Your pussy clenched around nothing his cock rubbing against your clothed clit. 

"Right now?! We are out in the open." You pant.

"Yes, while no one is watching." He chuckled brown eyes gazing up at you with a hungry lust... 

-end!

[nqmonarch]

There is Nothing We Can Do

WARNING: Major spoilers for High Cloud Quintet Lore+Jing Liu story quest, Angst

You knew the day would come. Standing out at a singular tree, orange leaves standing cheerfully among the solitude.

Your memories were fuzzy amongst the smell of blood, and the pain. You were far away from it, burdened to only look on. Baiheng had sacrificed herself, still smiling in the wake of her destruction leaving nothing but a tuft of fur behind. Dan Feng and Yingxing struck with despair made quick work to try and bring her back. Then it happened, you'd never seen mara take a hold of someone so suddenly before. The pain it could bring out in a person's expressions.

Jing Liu had struck down Dan Feng by stabbing the top of his head yet Yingxing was struck over and over again. Jing Yuan had been at the front lines, had he even known what was happening? And you laid motionless, aside from the slow blink of your eyes, in a pool of your blood.

The three were dealt punishments. You didn't have it as bad as any of them. You'd only known Jing Liu as she'd taught you the sword, you'd followed along foolishly. You weren't even as talented as the few other students she'd taken, you truly were a fool. And now Jing Yuan, the last member and youngest of the High Cloud Quintet, stood next to you motionless.

"I knew something like this would happen. I should've said something," He spoke with more emotion then you'd ever heard him speak with. Normally he was more stoic, but now he was forcibly ripped open exposed to the horrors of the world.

"It's not your responsibility," Even you were older than him, but he didn't seem to like that answer only scowling further so you continued hoping you'd be able to say something to help, "It's in the past there is nothing we can do, other than move forward" You smiled at Jing Yuan feeling tears brim along your eyes as your throat began to ache from holding in its cries.

Jing Yuan cried first.

Now, how many hundreds of years later you stood before the tree you used as a makeshift burial site for everyone lost. Not just the High Cloud Quintet, but everyone. Not just those who'd died but those who'd lost themselves beyond repair.

Blade had appeared on the Xianzhou Luofu recently, and had escaped capture. At the news you'd rushed to Jing Yuan partially out of hope. You weren't sure why you cared so much for someone you'd never met, perhaps because you'd been witness to the darkest moments in their life?

You and Jing Yuan became close after the incident, not talking much but simply staying by each other's side, watching as they slowly changed. You watched as Jing Yuan put on more of an easy going, and enthusiastic mask. And he watched as you became more withdrawn and meticulous, refusing to mess up a single detail for the worries it would lead to unspeakable loss.

That lead you to where you were now, gazing from far away at the ongoing battle between Jing Liu and Blade. You didn't want to meet Jing Liu again, you knew the reunion would only be full of pain. Jing Yuan onlooking the battle and behind him, the reincarnation of Dan Feng looking away.

You waited, hating the finesse and perfection in every move Jing Liu made. A killing machine, and a person unable to be killed. A tragedy every time the story repeated itself, whether it be 700 years ago or now.

When it was over Jing Yuan approached you, the two of you held eye contact, and with no words spoken Jing Yuan closed his eyes. He had a bad habit of sleeping in any position. Something some would find funny but you found miserable. If the nightmares in your dreams are less scary than the nightmares in real life, than surely there is a problem. You'd talk to him about it if there were a solution.

You lifted Jing Yuan up onto your shoulders, and left, walking away from the scene where you'd seen people torn apart.

Now, there were only two of you.

One day only one of you would be left, holding with them the memories of these events.

But until then, and even after then, the battle would rage onward. There was nothing else you could but continue on.

Wonderful line from Jing Yuan's stories that hits hard: "Only the truly wise can stand proud in front of the undefeated enemy called time."

[poupeesdecirque]

Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts

It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.

But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.

Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?

Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.

Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.

Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.

Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?

But wait, there is actually more reasons.

The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.

I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.

I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.

Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.

Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).

In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.

I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.

[gramophoneturtle]

Update/Pinned Post

Welcome to my art archive. I've posted a lot about my OCs, TWEWY, Persona 5, Xenoblade X and in other fandoms.

Unfortunately due to recent-ish changes on Tumblr I no longer feel comfortable posting here much or at all. I'll keep my blog up for the foreseeable future or maybe even forever because of how Tumblr stores data. I'd rather have the link back to the source.

Or if the other sites explode in the meantime.

This has nothing to do with the date sadly. I'm just at my limit.

Here's where you can find me:

Pillowfort: gramophoneturtle. The most artist respected place and a decent long form blogging place.

Neocities: I'm currently developing an art archive on neocities over here. This will be THE archive place, one day! With RSS, one day!

Bluesky: gramophoneturtle. Twitter replacement. I don't trust it but it's meshing with me more than mastodon. Stream announcements are here b/c I ran out of energy for crossposting.

cohost: gramophoneturtle. I don't trust it'll stay but it has both a draft system & can save alt text on draft edits. Wild stuff to praise but when porting art out of Tumblr, it's helpful to have new drafts.

Twitch & YouTube: I stream weekly on Twitch and store VODs on both. Twitch has all my VODs and YouTube has VODs from Fall 2023 and onwards.

More details, pros and cons about each site below for those who are curious. Thanks for sticking around and reading.

Pillowfort

It's user funded and transparent about the breakdown of funds

They're against generative AI. Their reinforcement came out around the time Tumblr's not-really-against-it stance came out. This is huge to me.

They're working on a PWA of the site so it will have a way to function like a smartphone app

Image post options aren't great but you aren't limited to 4 (unlike cohost - kinda, and Bluesky)

Alt text gets eaten if you edit a post currently which is awful. (Tumblr used to do this.) Alt text isn't an option for picture type posts but is for text posts with pictures. But hey at least you can include alt text!

Communities are nice for fandoms and stuff. You can search by tags but you don't follow tags, you join/watch communities.

They have funding for the next 6 months past any month that was fully funded. So as of April 1, 2024, funding should last until (the end?) of October if they were to not get any more donations/subscriptions from now on. Basically, they have a 6 month buffer and so far for 2024 they've been keeping it and maintaining their monthly funding goals

Neocities

Home page URL should not change but artwork URLs might

The artwork section is inspired by Tumblr's archive page/system. I don't think I want it to be exactly like it (might be a limitation of static pages re: tag filtering) but I want to try and partially make it

Artwork on there have been nightshaded and glazed. I would like to reglaze some pieces that are too glazed for my liking, now that I have a better computer for it (so it doesn't take forever). That's why not a lot of art is on there yet

I might go into detail about how I automated some of the web dev stuff to make my life easier on my my main blog. In summary: I'm using 11ty (eleventy), generating pages from data and templates, using github for version control and github actions for updating the site automatically

Bluesky:

Feeds are cool. I've found and made (through SkyFeed) a lot of Feeds. Feeds can look for text in posts and alt text, and/or specific tags. Can filter out reblogs or replies. Can work off of user lists. Can include/exclude specific posts - like Twitter Moments. There's a lot of flexibility and filtering.

Feeds can lookback anywhere from 25 hours to 1 week when not looking at one user. So when pulling from many users, you could just get the latest updates. For one user (say your own gallery of whatever) you're allowed to go back to the beginning, it can be your art gallery. And then people can just follow that feed so you don't have to worry about your art getting buried if people just want to follow your art

There's a setting you can turn on to warn and prevent you from posting until you add alt text. I love this. Especially since, like Twitter, you can't go back and edit a post

Forcing ALT text has the added bonus of leaving it last so I can double check tags and text in case I accidentally hit the post button before I'm ready

Twitch

There is art. And VTuber stuff. And life updates. Art/project updates. Lots of OC talk. Like I wish I could post more about Null considering how much stuff I've spoken about them on stream but freaking time! And energy.

YouTube

Used to do more Timelapses but stopped because laptop was not having fun with it. Now that I have a new computer it might be better!

Also has Twitch VODs because I want another place to back up VODs since local recordings take up a lot of space. And I can mark Chapters(/Moments?) timestamps to find stuff again.

Special thank you to those that made it all the way down here!

So what is the blog for now? Archiving, mainly, as I said at the beginning. I might link to my neocities page in maybe art updates or to pillowfort. And I might need a place to fall back to if the other sites don't last. I know bluesky and cohost are not much better/probably not better in other ways so I know that posting on them probably won't be good long term.

But that's why I'm working on the art archive site on the side. I'll always have a safe and controlled place where I can have all my art and details and stuff. It's gonna take a while and it's challenging but it's what I feel like I gotta do now.

I'm just so tired.

[beardedmrbean]

Five women say they were raped by former Harrods boss Mohamed Al Fayed when they worked at the luxury London department store.

The BBC has heard testimony from more than 20 female ex-employees who say the billionaire, who died last year aged 94, sexually assaulted or raped them.

The documentary and podcast - Al-Fayed: Predator at Harrods - gathered evidence that, during Fayed’s ownership, Harrods not only failed to intervene, but helped cover up abuse allegations.

Harrods’ current owners said they were “utterly appalled” by the allegations and that his victims had been failed - for which the store sincerely apologised.

“The spider’s web of corruption and abuse in this company was unbelievable and very dark,” says barrister Bruce Drummond, from a legal team representing a number of the women.

Since this article was first published, more former Harrods employees have contacted the BBC saying Mohammed Al Fayed assaulted them.

Warning: this story contains details some may find distressing.

The incidents took place in London, Paris, St Tropez and Abu Dhabi.

“I made it obvious that I didn't want that to happen. I did not give consent. I just wanted it to be over,” says one of the women, who says Fayed raped her at his Park Lane apartment.

Another woman says she was a teenager when he raped her at the Mayfair address.

“Mohamed Al Fayed was a monster, a sexual predator with no moral compass whatsoever,” she says, adding that all the staff at Harrods were his “playthings”.

“We were all so scared. He actively cultivated fear. If he said ‘jump’ employees would ask ‘how high’.”

Fayed faced sexual assault claims while he was alive, but these allegations are of unprecedented scale and seriousness. The BBC believes many more women may have been assaulted.

'Fayed was vile'

Fayed's entrepreneurial career began on the streets of Alexandria, Egypt, where he hawked fizzy drinks to passers-by. But it was his marriage to the sister of a millionaire Saudi arms dealer that helped him forge new connections and build a business empire.

He moved to the UK in 1974 and was already a well-known public figure when he took over Harrods in 1985. In the 1990s and 2000s, he would regularly appear as a guest on prime-time TV chat and entertainment shows.

Meanwhile, Fayed - whose son Dodi was killed in a car crash alongside Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997 - has become known to a new generation through the two most recent Netflix series of The Crown.

But the women we have spoken to say his portrayal as pleasant and gregarious was far from the truth.

“He was vile,” says one of the women, Sophia, who worked as his personal assistant from 1988 to 1991. She says he tried to rape her more than once.

“That makes me angry, people shouldn't remember him like that. It's not how he was.”

Some of the women waived, or partially waived, their right to anonymity to be filmed - and the BBC agreed not to use surnames. Others chose to remain anonymous. Put together, their testimonies reveal a pattern of predatory behaviour and sexual abuse by Fayed.

The Harrods owner would regularly tour the department store's vast sales floors and identify young female assistants he found attractive, who would then be promoted to work in his offices upstairs - former staff, male and female, told us.

The assaults would be carried out in Harrods’ offices, in Fayed's London apartment, or on foreign trips - often in Paris at the Ritz hotel, which he also owned, or his nearby Villa Windsor property.

At Harrods, other former staff members told us it was clear what was happening.

“We all watched each other walk through that door thinking, ‘you poor girl, it's you today’ and feeling utterly powerless to stop it,” Alice, not her real name, says.

'He raped me'

Rachel, not her real name, worked as a personal assistant in Harrods in the 1990s.

One night after work, she says she was called to his luxury apartment, in a large block on Park Lane overlooking London's Hyde Park. The building was protected by security staff and had an on-site office staffed by Harrods employees.

Rachel says Fayed asked her to sit on his bed and then put his hand on her leg, making it clear what he wanted.

“I remember feeling his body on me, the weight of him. Just hearing him make these noises. And… just going somewhere else in my head.

“He raped me.”

The BBC has spoken to 13 women who say Fayed sexually assaulted them at 60 Park Lane. Four of them, including Rachel, say they were raped.

Sophia, who says she was sexually assaulted, described the whole situation as an inescapable nightmare.

“I couldn't leave. I didn’t have a [family] home to go back to, I had to pay rent,” she says. “I knew I had to go through this and I didn’t want to. It was horrible and my head was scrambled.”

Gemma, who worked as one of Fayed’s personal assistants between 2007-09, says his behaviour became more frightening during work trips abroad.

She says it culminated in her being raped at Villa Windsor in Paris's Bois de Boulogne - a former home, post-abdication, of King Edward VIII and his wife Wallis Simpson.

Gemma says she woke up startled in her bedroom. Fayed was next to her bed wearing just a silk dressing gown. He then tried to get into bed with her.

“I told him, ‘no, I don't want you to’. And he proceeded to just keep trying to get in the bed, at which point he was kind of on top of me and [I] really couldn't move anywhere.

“I was kind of face down on the bed and he just pressed himself on me.”

She says after Fayed raped her she cried, while he got up and told her aggressively to wash herself with Dettol.

“Obviously he wanted me to erase any trace of him being anywhere near me,” she explains.

Eight other women have also told us they were sexually assaulted by Fayed at his properties in Paris. Five women described the assaults as an attempted rape.

'Open secret'

“The abuse of women, I was aware of it when I was on the shop floor," says Tony Leeming, a Harrods department manager from 1994 to 2004. It “wasn't even a secret”, recalls Mr Leeming, who says he did not know about more serious allegations of assault or rape.

"And I think if I knew, everybody knew. Anyone who says they didn't are lying, I'm sorry".

Mr Leeming's testimony is backed up by former members of Fayed's security team.

“We were aware that he had this very strong interest in young girls,” says Eamon Coyle, who joined Harrods in 1979 as a store detective, then became deputy director of security from 1989-95.

Meanwhile Steve, who does not want us to use his surname, worked for the billionaire between 1994-95. He told us that security staff “did know that certain things were happening to certain female employees at Harrods and Park Lane”.

Many of the women told us that when they began working directly for Fayed they underwent medicals - including invasive sexual health tests carried out by doctors.

This was presented as a perk, the women told us, but many did not see their own results - even though they were sent to Fayed.

“There is no benefit to anybody knowing what my sexual health is, unless you're planning to sleep with somebody, which I find quite chilling now,” says Katherine, who was an executive assistant in 2005.

'Culture of fear'

All the women we spoke to described having felt intimidated at work - which had made it difficult for them to speak out.

Sarah, not her real name, explained: “There was most definitely a culture of fear across the whole store - from the lowliest of the low, to the most senior person.”

Others told us they believed the phones in Harrods had been tapped - and that women had been scared of talking to each other about Fayed’s abuse, fearing they were being filmed by hidden cameras.

The ex-deputy director of security, Eamon Coyle, confirmed this - explaining how part of his job was to listen to tapes of recorded calls. Cameras that could record had also been installed throughout the store, he said, including in the executive suites.

“He [Fayed] bugged everybody that he wanted to bug.”

Harrods told the BBC in a statement these had been the actions of an individual “intent on abusing his power” which it condemned in the strongest terms.

It said: “The Harrods of today is a very different organisation to the one owned and controlled by Al Fayed between 1985 and 2010, it is one that seeks to put the welfare of our employees at the heart of everything we do.”

There were a number of attempts to expose Fayed before his death - notably by Vanity Fair in 1995 - with an article alleging racism, staff surveillance and sexual misconduct. This sparked a libel lawsuit.

Mohamed Al Fayed later agreed to drop the case as long as all the further evidence the magazine had gathered of his sexual misconduct in preparation for a trial was locked away. Fayed’s settlement was negotiated by a senior Harrods executive.

In 1997, ITV’s The Big Story reported further serious allegations including sexual harassment and groping - which is classed as sexual assault.

One of the women in the BBC investigation, Ellie, not her real name, was 15 in 2008 when she reported an assault to the police - an allegation that made headlines - but did not result in any charge.

In 2017, Channel 4’s Dispatches broadcast allegations of groping, assault and harassment, with one woman waiving her right to anonymity for the first time. It gave some women the courage to come forward - and was followed by a 2018 investigation on Channel 4 News.

But it is only now, with Mohamed Al Fayed having died last year, that many of the women have felt able to speak publicly about rape and attempted rape.

Cash and NDAs

The BBC documentary reveals that, as part of Gemma's settlement in 2009, she had to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA), a legally-binding contract which ensures information remains confidential.

She says after she was raped, she contacted a lawyer who told Harrods she was leaving her job on the grounds of sexual harassment. Gemma says she did not feel able, at that time, to disclose the full extent and seriousness of Fayed's assaults.

Harrods agreed she could leave and it would pay a sum of money in exchange for her shredding all evidence and signing an NDA. Gemma says a member of Harrods’ HR team was present as the shredding took place.

The BBC has heard that women were threatened and intimidated by Harrods' then-director of security, John Macnamara, to stop them speaking out.

Fourteen of the women we spoke to recently brought civil claims against Harrods for damages. The shop's current owners, who are not asking women to sign NDAs, started settling these in July 2023.

It took Sophia and Harrods five years to reach an agreement. In her case, the store expressed regret but did not admit liability. Many more women are now considering legal action against Harrods.