#this is just the kind of stuff that butters my toast

[pikahlua]

Wow, okay, I’ve seen a bit of the translation drama now, and I regret to say a lot of people who very clearly do not know how to speak Japanese are being extremely polarizing about some perfectly acceptable word choices in the official manga. This is precisely the sort of stuff I hoped to help minimize when I started doing my translations. It’s been a while since I had to put out a warning like this, so I’ll do it now.

Be careful about getting too married to a particular word choice in English. A lot of word choices are very much up to a translator’s discretion. Language is fluid, and Japanese lends itself particularly well to puns and wordplay.

For example (and this is a particularly good example to explain my point), let’s talk about this panel:

Re: this post

Which leads into what seems to be the crux of the matter: Toga's "love." I've noted in passing before that having her use the word "suki" to describe this love is very curious. It's just an adjective that means something is the object of your affection. It's not a specific word for love like the nouns "ai (love, but broadly)" or "koi (romantic love)" are. "Suki" is just as often translated as "like" as it is "love."

In the above panel, we have the phrase “suki na mono wo suki to iu” (which I translated as “you tell those you like that you like them.”) The word “suki” is being used as an adjective to modify “mono.” However, there is an interesting nuance that is impossible for me to convey in an English translation!

The word “mono” can mean both “(tangible) thing” and “person.” Usually we can tell the difference based on context and the use of the correct kanji. BUT THERE IS NO KANJI USED IN THE ABOVE PANEL. The effect is that what this “mono” refers to is ambiguous. Is it the “things Toga likes” or the “people Toga likes”? It’s not clear: which means that both readings are correct! In fact, the word is probably meant to include BOTH meanings. “All things or people Toga likes.”

And the reason I can’t properly translate that into English is because I have no word that refers to such a thing. In English, it’s a question of “what Toga likes” vs “whom Toga likes,” but in Japanese BOTH meanings are captured by just one phrase.

The most accurate and extremely awkward translation in English would just be “You say who and what you like.” It’s not really something a person would say naturally, especially depending on the context of the conversation surrounding the phrase.

Additionally, “suki” is a very vague word that can be translated in many ways. It gets translated into English as various words all the time. I just decided to go with “like,” but “love” or “dear” would be just as viable. Like I said, it’s kind of up to the translator’s discretion. (And think about the corollary in English. “Like” may not usually mean “love,” but if you were in high school and told someone, especially of the opposite sex, “I like you,” “like” suddenly takes on a whole new meaning.)

Anyways, the whole point of this is that I just want to caution people against jumping to conclusions about these things, especially as you encounter disagreements about such things by fans in the wild. It may be true that a translator has a particular agenda they’re trying to push that runs counter to the message of a story, but it may also be a much more honest and correct translation than you expect. And if you ever need it, I’m always happy to give my perspective on a specific translation to point out the more charitable and non-charitable interpretations, the potential ambiguities, the nitty-gritty grammar issues, etc. (to the best of my ability, of course--I am not a final arbiter on these things either, just another learner myself).

[cherry-shipping]

its nice to know that even if not a single person on earth approves of the food i make for myself, sans would love them as much as me

[what-even-is-thiss]

Quick and cheap filling vegetarian food (I’m going ovo-lacto for this)

Soup:

Dump some cans of stuff in a pot. Maybe some seasoning too. Pearl barley or rice may also be a good choice to bulk things out. With beans or legumes and some kind of grain you can make a whole protein. If that doesn’t appeal to you add some cheese or poached egg. Don’t add a lot of rice btw it will expand don’t turn your soup into a rice dish I swear to gosh

Quesadillas:

Basic idea for this is shredded cheese melted in between two tortillas warmed up on either side in a pan, in a microwave if you’re feeling extra depressed. But other stuff can be added. Salsa, pico, leftover tofu or beans, sliced peppers or onion. It’s a dish that’s as complicated or as simple as you want to make it.

Casseroles:

Dump a can of cream of mushroom or cream of potato soup on it. It’ll work itself out probably.

Scrambled eggs:

The most braindead way to cook eggs. You can even scramble them in the pan. Put stuff in it. I like putting fried tomatoes in it. Add enough mushrooms and cheese and you can feel your system clogging up in real time. Eat some toast with it to convince yourself that adding carbs makes it fine actually

Curry:

Wildly oversimplified term for basically most Indian food. It’s simpler to make than you think. The spices are the important part. The base of a lot of types of Indian food is onion, ginger, garlic, and tomato and then add spices and stuff to that. What stuff? Whatever. Spinach, potatoes, coconut milk, regular milk, even more tomatoes, lentils, beans, yogurt. Put it over rice probably. Use powdered onion and ginger-garlic paste and canned tomatoes when you’re tired. Probably look up some actual Indian YouTubers and bloggers to get more specific recipes than my stupid ass can provide.

Peanut noodles:

Cook some noodles. Probably ramen noodles. Melt some peanut butter on it and add soy sauce. Merry Christmas.

Melts:

Get a panini press so you never have to think again. Cheese, something else, bread, hot, eat. Add a sauce and some nicely grilled vegetables if you want to but tbh a midnight grilled cheese with tomato isn’t gonna be a gourmet meal. Just make it so you can finish crying.

Smoothie:

Frozen fruit and/or veggies and some kind of liquid. I usually use strawberry, mango, and soymilk. Maybe yogurt too idk. The worst part of this is cleaning the blender later but the actual process of making it is fast.

Pasta:

There’s more to life than just spaghetti and red sauce. Or so I’ve been told. You can use canned soups as a sauce sometimes if you reduce them a bit. I like butternut squash soup. Adding some cream cheese to sauces tastes better than it sounds and can fix your protein problem that you sometimes get with pasta dishes. Keeping a jar of pesto and some mushrooms in the fridge can make for a fast dinner when you need it.

Chili:

Get two different types of beans and some tomatoes and chili powder and whatever in a pot and let those bitches get to know each other and simmer while you stare off into space for a while. Maybe like 10-20 minutes idk it tastes good with sour cream

[kitchenwitchtingss]

RECIPES I KEEP IN MY ONLINE KITCHEN WITCH JOURNAL #2

I love making these oh my gosh.

Why?

It's really fun

It's been a while since my last one

I get an excuse to try yummy recipes

You all are way too good at what you do

It's fun x2

Teas, Drinks, And Syrups

🍊 Orange Peel Tea 🍊

Violet Lemonade

Coconut Summer Drink

Dandelion Honey

The Best Hot Spiced Cider recipe you’ll ever try

Apple Cider is basically a homesteading spell

Rose Lemonade Syrup

100-Year Garlic (Garlic Honey)

Fire Cider Spell for Winter Protection

Blackberry & Apple Jam

Witchy Recipes - Blackberry Lemonade

Baked Goods + Sweets

Prosperity Bread

Lavender Earl Grey Cookies

Easy Rosemary Focaccia Loaf for Love and Protection

Heavenly Lavender Scones

Honey Vanilla Peach Butter 🍑

Pumpkin Pie Dip 🎃

Vanilla-Pumpkin Cupcakes

Soups, Stews, And Dinners

Super simple secret potato soup

Forest Porridge

Heartwarming potato soup

Perfect Homemade Garlic Bread

Creamy vegetable soup

Springtime Soup

Stuffed Maple dijon glazed roasted butternut squash

Summertime stir fry

Sabbat Stuff

Litha Orange Honey Cake

Litha Thyme Chicken

Stuffed Apples for Mabon

Mabon Mug

Imbolc Pretzel wreath

Oatmeal Bread for Lughnasadh

Samhain Mulled Cider

Samhain Irish Apple Cake

Angel's Best

(my favorite recipe posts I've made over the years, plus backstories that sound like your grandmother's reminiscing over the past.)

LATE WINTER BUTTER ROLLS

My first post I ever made. I was pretty new to the tumblr community at the time. I loved kitchen witchcraft, and I'm the type of person who will ramble on about how much I love cooking and baking. This blog gave me an outlet to express my love of cooking, baking, paganism, and witcraft. And these rolls are very tasty, I make them to this day!

WITCHY TOMATO BASIL SOUP

Tasty, simple, and a crowd-pleaser. It's perfect for a beginner kitchen witch! It was also the second recipe I ever posted.

SWEET CREAM BUNS

It was a recipe given to me by one of my good friends at the time. Every time I make it, it gets devoured in less than 10 minutes. It was also my first recipe to get over 50 notes. I was shocked but ecstatic that so many people would even give it the time of day lol.

WITCHY THUMBPRINT COOKIES

These ones were just fun to make and delicious lol.

A WITCH’S COZY BUTTERNUT WINTER SOUP

A quick soup that feeds a lot of people during the fall season. Fall is my favorite season, so of course I'm very biased lol.

SAMHAIN PUMPKIN BREAD

I love pumpkin bread and apple cider... So why not combine the two? This one was definitely one of my favorites of all time. Moist pumpkin bread and chocolate chips have to be one of my favorite things on this planet. It also makes for the perfect gift for friends and family. Yummy!

ANGEL’S AWARD-WINNING LEMON POPPY SEED BREAD

I love dessert loaves of any kind, so naturally, this would be on the list lol.

MAPLE BUTTER COOKIES

Super simple comfort food! I love any time of cookie with brown sugar.

BRING ME POSITIVITY PECAN FRENCH TOAST BAKE

I love French toast, and I love positivity~

SAMHAIN SOUL CAKES RECIPE

These are really good! And traditional. If you celebrate Samhain, I recommend you make some soul cakes and have friends and family help decorate. I give the littles a bag of orange frosting and let them go crazy lol.

FEEL BETTER CHICKEN SOUP

One of my most recent is my witchy twist on chicken noodle soup!

[yoonmeowzz]

nct 127 ! being domestic

contents: nct 127 members x gn!reader, fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au, use of pet names (babe, darling)

warnings: mentions of food (taeil and taeyong)

a/n: i've been thinking A LOT about johnny and mark and this kind of stuff so... yeah

taeil

having breakfast with taeil is definitely the most precious moment of the day. he's still sleepy and clingy so expect having his arms wrapped around you and his nose buried on your neck as you try to serve him a cup of water. just when he feels his stomach growling for food he would detach his body from yours to make toasts with butter and jam, or even just butter and some sugar cause he's lazy today. however he would remind you how good you look in the morning and how much he loves you.

"i can't believe you really wake up like that, y/n"

"like what?"

"like... wow"

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

johnny

even if people don't believe him, he's 6ft tall, so obviously he can reach every high place in the house. he enjoys seeing you trying to get things from the highest shelves but when you decide to give up and look for him, without saying a word he gets up and helps you getting what you wanted. he then feels his chest filled with this warm feeling he can’t explain, he just loves to help you, be there for you when you need him. he usually stays in the kitchen while you’re cooking, even if you told him to rest, just to get things for you.

“johnny…” he looked up from his phone and immediately went to take the bowl you needed.

“there you go, babe”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

taeyong

taeyong appreciates every second he spends with you but late night talking is definitely his favorite thing to do with you. some days, he takes some snacks and drinks sneakily from the kitchen before going back to his room, where you are waiting for him with a smile. however, most of the time it’s just you and him hugging each other or simply lying next to each other while you talk about whatever crosses your mind.

“did you know that there was a greek stuttering orator? he’d practice hard every day to be able to speak in public without stuttering.”

“stop, y/n, i’m gonna get emotional”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

yuta

on lazy days when neither of you have enough energy to do anything, he asks you to spend the day in bed. you accept without a doubt. y’all just cuddle for a while, maybe he takes a little nap while you’re on your phone. but his favorite part is lying down on your tummy and having your hands playing with his hair. he LOVES the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp, gently twisting each hair strand. eventually he falls asleep to your slow breathing as the only background noise and once he wakes up he’s all clingy and lovely.

“did i already told you how much i love you?”

“you did, yuta, and i love you too. so much”

“i love you more, darling”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

doyoung

activities with doyoung are always aesthetically pleasant, so cute coffee dates at home with homemade coffee are something usual now. he takes his time making your coffee look great so you can take pictures to remember this sweet moments with him when you’re away. after having your cups ready y’all just cuddle on the couch covered in cozy blankets and watch a movie or talk about nothing in particular.

“you said you wanted to try caramel macchiato so i tried to make it. if it tastes bad i can give you my cup”

“thank you so much, doyoung”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

jaehyun

this man’s music taste is immaculate. you usually spend your lazy time together listening to music together while cuddling on his bed. you’re lying on top of him, your head resting on his chest as you listen to his calm heartbeat and flash by cigarettes after sex at the background. with his hands stroking your back slowly up and down you start dozing off, his arms secured around you.

“sleep tight, y/n” you hear him whisper over the music before finally falling asleep.

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

jungwoo

he’s kinda a clean freak so you try to keep things neat. however, he doesn’t mind if you leave the living room or bathroom messy cause he prefers cleaning together on weekends since he has lots of fun spending time with you, no matter what y’all are doing. if you’re tiding your shared bedroom he’s going to try on every piece of clothing he finds. sooner or later, your cleaning session becomes a fashion runway.

“check this hoodie, y/n!! do i look good?”

“you look amazing!!”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

mark

messy hair mark, wearing his glasses and pajamas should be illegal cause he’s going to be the death of me. when he’s not busy he likes to spend his mornings with you, especially playing the guitar for you. you’re both sitting on his bed, he just plays some accords until you decide what song you want him to play. it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know that particular song, he’d learn it for you. and when he starts singing ever so softly… i’m combusting

“i just wanna live in this moment forever…”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

haechan

when he’s free from work he spends his time playing video games. but there’s something about playing mario kart with you that feels different. it may sound stupid, but competing with you or making silly bets like “the loser has to give the winner a kiss” is something really intimate and special for him. he usually is very competitive, but this time he doesn’t mind losing, having you by his side is already a win.

“if you win the tournament i’ll do everything you ask me for a week”

“and if i lose?” you raised an eyebrow.

“you have to love me forever”

    ⠀ ⠀⠀

[a-twistedheartslonging]

I find it endlessly hilarious that Rook Hunt invited Malleus to his birthday party and Malleus, guy who yearns to be included in stuff and to be invited, didn't go. To be fair, Malleus seems to find Rook annoying and Leona also didn't want to come though Ruggie was there for food. It's just funny that Malleus clearly has a bias and will not accept just ANY invitation.

Mally being like "only two people invite me anywhere 😔 (yuu and lilia)" when Rook Hunt is right there lol but then Malleus doesn't vibe with him so that's just how it is

Poor Rook Hunt, my fave lil guy

it's a bit sad in some aspects as well, of course. Guy invites two of people he finds super interesting and they don't want to come but such is life. And then another who rejects the invitation probably for fear of further alienation.

Still, very funny to think about Malleus having such a clear bias

Imagine Malleus ignores the invitation to Rook's birthday and goes to hang out with Yuu instead only to find out Yuu was hanging out with Rook. Rook offers some of his favorite food to Yuu (liver pate, basically a creamy spread made from liver, usually some type of poultry, blended with spices like onions, garlic, herbs. It sounds like a meat dip basically, sounds good, spread on buttered toast, he says he doesn't often get have it because it has to be fresh to taste good so he's very happy to have some and offers yuu some).

Here he is enjoying the fuck out of his favorite snack

Anyways i feel like Malleus would get so peeved and put out when he finds out his fave was hanging with Rook and Rook shared food with them at his party. He's extra annoyed with Rook now lol

Malleus may want to be invited to thing but even he has standards. 😑

But yeah, I feel kind of bad for Rook, People just don't seem to be able to handle the guy's silliness and whimsy. He's sweet and would be all happy likely with any gift you end up bringing too.

[piratefishmama]

Finders Givers | Part 4

Steve Harrington had faced a lot of daunting things in his lifetime. He’d dealt with a lot of intimidating people, criminals of all shapes and sizes, he’d dealt with the lot of them with a calm finesse that earned a level of respect he didn’t really think he deserved. A lot of it was posturing. An insane amount of right out of the gate confidence that covered up just how much of an idiot he could actually be at times.

The confidence was all those people saw. It was his own people that knew how much of an overprotective dork he was, so it was his own people who felt most at ease around him. Like sure, he had Lola, his baseball bat riddled with nails for intimidation, and sure he’d used it a few times, but only in self-defence, and only against the most unsavoury of people.

The last one was Creel, and he hadn’t even been the one to use it.

Seeing the cause of his current insanity just… there, in the flesh, no longer in a groady fast food place uniform, looking good enough to eat well… he was only human.

Forgive him if he forgot how to word for a minute.

Luckily, once Robin recovered, she rose from her seat, rounded it, and motioned her arm as if presenting them to him.

“Steve, meet Eddie Munson and his roommate Chrissy Cunningham, tenants of the block of apartments you purchased. Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham, please allow me to introduce my very own single—” she winked at Eddie, both in reference to his own earlier quip about Chrissy, and because hint hint, he’s pathetically single and clearly pining, Steve’s eyes snapped to her face, although she gave him no time to shut her up as she continued “—platonic life partner, Steve Harrington, the guy in charge.” Eddie loved her already, Chrissy was cutely hiding her smile behind her hand. “They’re here asking questions about the letter we sent regarding the rent forgiveness and renovations.”

The one she’d not looked over. The one Nancy had rushed out. The one she wished she’d have seen before it went out just to make sure she had some kind of explanation ready and waiting should anyone pop by asking questions.

“O-oh! Oh yeah, yep, I know, your door isn’t soundproof hence the uhm—the entrance, I can probably answer a few questions, maybe even get some ideas and opinions from you guys, we don’t wanna go into the renovations not knowing what our tenants need so—” he let the sentence just hang there as he motioned out toward the hallway.

“Wait so you’re not just… doing stuff randomly, you want us to basically ask you for things, and you’ll give them to us?” Chrissy asked, rising from her seat since Eddie was still a little struck stupid over the most beautiful man on the planet and the fact that he was single. Eddie was also trying to figure out where he’d seen this guy before too because that was a face you didn’t just forget.

“Well… that’d make the whole process a lot smoother, right?”

Eddie finally shook his head free of his barnacle-like thoughts to ask a very simple, “Why?” If he didn’t have Steve Harrington’s attention before, he did now, those beautiful baby cow eyes staring right into his soul, warming it up like a soul toaster oven. “Ehem—why are you doing this? Why should we believe that you’re just… doing it for the sake of doing it? Nobody is that philanthropic, especially rich people, no offense but that’s like… the opposite of what rich people usually do.” Toaster oven was just slow enough to let him get those icy thoughts out before they could be fed to it to be warmed and buttered up. God he wanted some toast.

“Key word being usually.” Steve shot back, hazel eyes dancing in amusement, criminally handsome smile on his lips, damn him. “They won’t be palaces, they won’t be penthouse suites or comparable to five star suites, but I’d like to make them comfortable, safe, I’d like to make sure the electrics work, the heating system is up to date and make sure you have all the amenities you could need, I’d ask you not to take the piss with your requests, of course… but… if it’s reasonable I’m quite happy to provide it.”

“And what do you want in return for this?” There was always a catch, a devils contract for sure, too good to be true, there had to be a catch.

Steve looked at him for a moment, smile slipping from his face as he looked Eddie up and down, then… a slow, almost deadly grin seemed to curl at his lips, damn near predatory in its appearance, it sent a shiver down Eddie’s spine, dread licking at his bones.

Evil. That was evil, he was—

“Your soul, Eddie Munson.” Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit ho— “snerk” Steve snorted, that expression disappearing, replaced by one drenched in amusement “I’m kidding! You’re so easy, Munson. I’m not the devil, calm down.” Chrissy was giggling, the traitor, Robin looked exhausted, probably used to the antics, Eddie could feel his heart trying to escape his chest through his throat, could feel his cheeks warm in embarrassment.

“You—you didn’t answer my question.”

“I own where you live, I don’t have to answer your question.” Steve winked at him. The beautiful bastard. “I would however love it if you worked with me here. It’d just be nice for my tenants to get along with me, don’t you agree?” He was like some kind of snake, a sneaky little snake, charming but scheming “I’m also buying a local bar too, I don’t intend to change it all that much but—”

“You’re the one buying the Hideout?” Chrissy’s eyes widened, cutting him off as if she couldn’t help herself “why?”

“I want it.” So simple. He really didn’t have to answer any questions. And if he did answer, he wouldn’t give the full story. Suspicious, he was suspicious. “Owner isn’t staying on staff when the purchase goes through though obviously, I believe he’s retiring to the tropics, so I’ll need new staff, wouldn’t happen to know of anyone who needs a job would you?” A scheming, snakey snake of a man.

Eddie didn’t have to play to his tune though “Nope, I don’t know a single person in this whole world who needs a job right now thanks though.”

Chrissy didn’t share his scepticism though, happy to offer a chipper little “we just lost our jobs!”

“Traitor” he hissed.

“Oh hush, Teddy-bear, he’s harmless!” Steve grinned, oh yeah, totally harmless that one “we know a few guys who’d be great at it too, Gareth has bartending experience, remember?”

“Mixing two cocktails at a house warming party does not count as bartending experience.”

“They were good cocktails though, Eddie, you had like, six of them.”

“And I stand by the fact that each one tasted different!”

“But you LIKED them!”

“That’s not how bartending works! They have to taste the same each time!”

“Fine, he knows how to make SIX slightly different cocktails.”

Across the room, Steve leaned just a little closer to Robin just to quietly ask “is this what we look like to outsiders?”

“God I hope not” Robin knew better though, it was exactly how they looked to outsiders.

“Alright guys!” Steve stepped forwards, closer to the bickering pair. “I have quite a bit to do today as you can probably imagine, so how’s about we discuss this further over… say… dinner?” He could feel Robin’s incredulous stare boring holes into the back of his head. Ignoring it. Ignoring it. “You’re both more than welcome.” He was clearly looking at Eddie though.

“I’m busy” Chrissy was quick to answer before Eddie could object “but Eddie… Eddie is totally free, aren’t you Eddie?” His mouth still open from where she’d beaten him to the punch, now looking between them both in bafflement.

“Uhm—I… uh—heh—no, nope, nope not free, not free at all in the slightest c’mon Chrissy let’s just go home!” He grabbed her hand in a flurry of flustered panic “we’ve gotten all we came to get so thanks for the rent free living!” Steve didn’t stop him as he pulled an objecting Chrissy along with him out the door in a rush “We want a dishwasher!” He yelled over his shoulder as he pulled her down the hall to the elevator, leaving Harrington and Buckley behind, missing the exact moment when Robin whacked Steve around the back of the head with her papers, and called him an idiot.

Part 6

[petermorwood]

Good mornoon! (Morning for me, afternoon for you.) I have recently come into a quantity of marmalade. (It was $3, and the jar has a little handle and a metal lid, I would have paid $3 for just the jar but it comes with bonus marmalade.) I like marmalade on toast occasionally, but I am more of a savory breakfast person, and there are about 8 oz in this jar.

I might do some experiments, but do you have any good recipes for baking with marmalade? Or cooking with it, for that matter? Your baking always looks fantastic and you were the first people I thought of when I was wondering how to find a good recipe or two. Thank you kindly!

My immediate first though was "a great and gloriously sticky marmalade roll" as mentioned in "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", as I blogged about some three years ago, here.

Here's a recipe for one.

Since it calls for about twice the amount of marmalade you've got, you could either spend another $3, or halve everything and make a more personal-sized but equally sticky roll.

*****

Now for something savoury.

You didn't specify what kind of marmalade it was, and any will work with both recipes, but Seville / "Old-Fashioned" / "Traditional" types have a slight bitter edge that works really well with savoury stuff.

Here's something my Mum used to do.

Just a mention in passing, another version used small steaks parcelled with onions, mushrooms,smoked bacon, garlic, plenty of black pepper, a teaspoonful of red wine and the same of Worcester sauce.

That recipe did NOT use marmalade. This one does... :->

Put pork chops or chicken breasts on sheets of kitchen foil and season with salt and pepper.

Top them with a mixture of marmalade, Dijon mustard, chopped onion and sliced mushrooms. Finish with a knob of butter.

Close the foil into tight parcels and put under the grill (broiler) at medium heat for about 10-15 minutes.

Open one parcel to check with a knife or skewer if the meat is done, and if necessary close the parcel and cook another 5 minutes or so.

Turn the grill right down and leave the parcels there, wrapped, while prepping the plates - green beans, carrots and white rice look and taste good.

Unwrap the parcels, turn the grill right up and get the upper surfaces of the meat dark brown (don't scorch it, burnt marmalade is nasty), then plate up, pour the sauce over and dig in. :->

Instead of individual parcels you could use an oven-to-table dish with a tight cover of foil and, once done, bring the whole thing (with a trivet!) out for people to help themselves.

Hope these two ideas help!

[chubbyanas-blog]

Hi! You're so pretty, I'm trying to get chubbier too and I definitely want more soft fat like you instead of hard fat. I know you eat healthier stuff just in larger quantities, may I ask what kind of things? Thank you!! 💓💓

Thank you so much for your sweet words!!! I’ve been getting a lot of questions on my diet and body form etc.

First of all, body shape is massive influenced by genetics and apart from working out certain muscles groups there isn’t a lot you can do to get a different body shape. You cannot influence the way your body stores fat as in what kind and you cannot influence where your body stores it. It’s unique and works the same for weight loss; you can’t influence where you loose fat in general but can train muscle groups to reach a defined body. Therefore following another persons died will not give you the same results and looks.

Secondly, I kinda just eat what I want and what I feel like eating. My breakfast has been the same for years. It’s always protein yogurt with fruits, chia seeds, oats, flex seeds and whole nuts. One can also add some maple syrup or peanut butter. If I’m not in the mood for that, I have eggs with avocado toast or just a protein shake, I use the ones from a German company called more and I use almond milk. Even if you want to gain weight, you should still try to eat enough protein (0,8g/kg) as it is one of the most important building blocks of your body's muscles, bones, cartilage, skin and blood and is necessary for almost all of the body's physiological. You should also try to eat enough fruits and vegetables or take vitamins as these are very important for your health as well. Apart from that I eat pasta, burger, wraps, stir fry, salads, sandwiches…. Anything I want. I just try to eat whole fresh food and while I don’t care about calorie intake, I try to give my body everything it needs to be strong and functioning:)

[wheels-of-despair]

Classy Girl and the Scruffy Boy Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie's girl invites him over for a romantic dinner and a movie. It's... not exactly what he expected. Contains: Dinner and a movie? Word Count: 1.2k-ish

"Hi," you whisper, easing yourself onto Eddie's lap in the school library.

"Hi?" he responds, a little surprised to see you.

You wrap an arm around his shoulders, and his circle around your waist. He tilts his chin up for a kiss, which you gladly give him.

"So I just found out that Mom has a meeting this evening," you tell him quietly, "and she won't be home 'til late. I'll have the house allll to myself."

"Oh yeah?" he asks, instantly perking up.

"Yuuup."

"What are you gonna do with that big empty house all to yourself?"

"Hmmm…" you wonder aloud, tapping your chin thoughtfully with your free hand. "I thought maybe I could invite this really cute guy over… and I could make him a romantic dinner… and we could watch one of the best love stories ever told."

"Is it a chick flick?"

"It's not a chick flick."

"It's a chick flick."

"It's about a classy girl who falls for a scruffy boy. I think it's technically a love story, but there's some pretty scary stuff in it too. I might need you to hold me."

He looks like he's considering it.

"If you're a good boy, maybe we could even re-enact one of my favorite love scenes."

His eyes widen.

"It might get a little messy, though," you tease with a whisper.

"Sold."

"That's what I thought," you give him a kiss on the forehead and rake your fingers through his hair.

"I've gotta get back to class. Meet you at the van after school?"

He nods, breathing a little harder, his pupils blown. You lean down for another kiss and get off his lap. He gives your ass a smack as you walk away, and you turn to shoot him a fake glare before spinning back around and heading toward the exit with a grin on your face.

He'll never know what hit him.

He was already by the van when you arrived at 3:03. His last class of the day was farther away than yours; he must've run all the way there.

You had him stop by Bradley's Big Buy on the way home to get a few extra ingredients. He didn't mind. It was for him, after all.

When you got home, you put your groceries away, sat at the table, and started pulling homework out of your backpack.

"What are you doing?"

"Eddie, it's not even 4 yet. Are you seriously ready for dinner already?"

He pouts.

"Go get your damn books, I know you've got work to do."

His jaw drops indignantly.

But he listens.

Two hours and several completed assignments he'd been putting off later, he's happily watching you move around the kitchen, making the romantic dinner he was promised. He wasn't thrilled about being tricked into doing work, but you'd helped him get enough done to keep his teachers off his back for a few days, so that was nice. Now, he got to relax, and see what kind of surprise you had planned.

Oh, Eddie. If only you knew who you were dealing with.

Some time later, you bring two steaming bowls of spaghetti into the living room and place them on the coffee table next to your glasses of soda and a plate of bread, buttered and toasted to perfection.

"Do you want me to put the movie in?"

"It's already in," you answer, picking up the remote and turning the TV on, trying to contain your glee. You'd put the tape in while he was taking a bathroom break, not wanting to risk him seeing the box and ruining the surprise.

The VCR clunks to life, and you fast-forward through the previews. You press play and watch him from the corner of your eye.

He's confused. He's so confused.

"This is a cartoon."

You say nothing, struggling to keep your face blank.

Once he realizes he's been had, he grabs the remote and presses stop, then turns to you with a hard look in his eyes.

"What the fuck?"

"What?" you ask innocently.

He gestures to the TV.

"You were promised a romantic dinner and a love story, were you not?"

"You didn't say it was Lady and the Fucking Tramp!"

"I said it was a love story about a classy girl and a scruffy boy."

His jaw clenches.

"You said it was scary."

"Have you SEEN the size of that freakin' rat? That's trying to EAT THE BABY?"

He fumes. He fumes at you for tricking him, and at himself for falling for something like this AGAIN.

"You purposely got me all worked up over a CARTOON!"

"It's not my fault you're a pervert!" You bite back your laughter.

"I had to go to the BATHROOM during ENGLISH and rub one out!"

You lose it.

"THAT'S IT!" he yells and lunges at you, howling with laughter at his expense. Next thing you know, you're on your back and he's on top of you, nipping at your neck and grinding against you.

"Oh yeah, you got me good Munson, please stop this unbearable torture!" you choke out between cackles.

He goes limp, dropping all his weight on top of you. He may look little, but it knocks the wind out of you with an "oof!"

You wiggle, trying to shake him off. He moans. Nevermind.

He lifts his head and cocks an eyebrow. "Wait, what were we supposed to be re-enacting from the DOG movie?"

"The spaghetti scene, duh."

"The what?"

"Have you not seen it?"

"Not… all of it?"

"Get up. This is unacceptable."

"So we're not going to do anything? After all that?"

"I mean, if you don't mind cold bread and reheated spag--"

And suddenly his mouth is on yours, your romantic dinner growing cold just a few feet away.

Your mother returns from her meeting a few hours later, eyes narrowing when she sees Eddie's van in the driveway. She's still wary about you two being alone together. She debates between loudly announcing herself so she doesn't see anything gross, or quietly coming in and catching you in the act, which would secure free, complaint-free labor for the deep cleaning she'd been putting off.

The house is silent when she enters. There's a big pot of spaghetti on the stove, and the kitchen table is covered with books and what appears to be finished homework. Curiosity getting the better of her, she creeps toward the living room, still a little afraid of what she might find.

But it's a blue screen on the TV, a pile of dirty dishes on the coffee table, and two fully clothed teenagers sleeping on the couch. She turns off the TV and goes to get herself a bowl of spaghetti.

You later told her how you Lady and the Tramped him with the promise of a romantic dinner and a love story about a classy girl and a scruffy boy, and she'd laughed almost as hard as you had. (You'd also told her how Eddie had teared up when he saw all the sad dogs at the pound, but she was forbidden from ever repeating that.) That was the day she decided that maybe you could be trusted together. You two definitely weren't like other teenagers.

What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

my mom for some reason bought a whole spiral cut ham and so it's time for my favorite "low effort quick and easy healthy and delicious dinner with Lu, who just got off a 10 hour shift and is, perhaps, Hangry":

don't talk to me scramble

(so named because when I come home from work and am eating a late supper I want everyone to shut up and let me eat in peace)

YOU WILL NEED:

3 of the biggest eggs you've got - 4 if they're smaller than LargeTM

ham: deli cut works here but I literally just grabbed the spiral cut ham and ripped pieces off with my bare hands until I had a generous handful of Ham Bits (you can probably use whatever lunchmeat you have in your fridge for this tbh)

about like 3 tbsp of cream cheese?? Gordon Ramsay it babey

one(1) slice of pepper jack cheese or whatever kind you like

big handful of spinach (frozen works but I used a slightly wilted leftover salad since it needs eaten soon) or other vegetables of choice. bagged frozen stuff is great in eggs

optional carb (bread, tortilla, biscuits, et cetera)

LET'S CRACK THIS THING.

butter or oil in your pan. crack ya eggs. throw the Ham Bits in immediately or else they will be Cold. once eggs start to cook throw in your SpinchTM or ~vegetals of choice~ so that they'll wilt/heat up. this is the point where you want to toast your bread or heat a tortilla or whatnot, if you're into that kind of thing. once eggs are MOSTLY cooked, toss in your pepper jack and cheem creams and stir it all around until it's melted. it will probably look a bit watery — if this is a texture no-no I suggest making this in omelette form, bc yes, cream cheese is awesome in an omelette. serve with Optional Carb if you wis, or by itself, possibly eaten directly out of the pan you cooked it in. you are adulting so well. your tastebuds and your body think you're the coolest 👍 go forth full, happy, and proud of yourself

[scoops-aboy86]

Not Dating, part 6

part 1, part 2, part 3, parts 4 & 5, part 7, part 8 - also on ao3

Long awaited update? Or something? I've been struggling not with this chapter but the next one… Looks like there will be 1-2 more chapters before this wraps up.

By the time Eddie ventures cautiously from his room again, dressed this time, Steve has set the tiny kitchen table with two plates of peanut butter apple toast and two glasses of ice water. The mug of wildflowers sits between the two place settings. 

“I, uh,” Steve starts. And looks down at what he’s done, in Eddie’s own home. He came to admit, among other things, that he’s been feeding Eddie up, and now he’s doing it again, completely on autopilot. 

Without comment and not quite looking directly at him, Eddie drops into the nearest chair, immediately picking up his ice water and downing it. He sets it down with a tinkle of ice, and Steve takes the opportunity to snatch the glass and top it off at the sink before sitting down himself. 

“Did you… do the dishes?” Eddie asks, notes of disbelief and something like amusement warring in his tone. His still-damp hair is in a braid down his back, something he’d only started doing because Steve had told him months ago that it would help control frizz and keep his curls intact. He’s done that much, but made no attempt to shave the several days of scruff from his cheeks, his jaw, the softening roundness beneath his chin. 

“There weren’t that many,” Steve mutters, looking away before he stares more than he already has. And yes, he’s aware that this isn’t much of a defense, but it’s all he’s got. 

“Right…” Eddie clears his throat and takes another gulp of water. He eyes his plate. (Should Steve have cut the crusts off? No, fuck, they’re not little kids, that’d be weird… Oh who’s he kidding, it’s weird either way.) 

Also, there’s a little sliver of belly peeking out the bottom of Eddie’s shirt; he doesn’t seem to have noticed it yet. 

Oh god, Steve needs to talk now.

“I’m sorry, again,” he blurts out, fixing his gaze down at his hands as he picks at the crust of his toast. “When you asked what we were doing I kinda got stuck on what I was doing and I thought… you were mad about it? Because I was… Because I keep… I usually focus on, on certain things, and I didn’t realize you were asking about… us stuff. I didn’t know if you wanted all that, with me, or if it was just blowing off steam or whatever, but I guess, since you got mad, I figured that… maybe you did? And I fucked up my chance to let you know we’re on the same page, about that. Oh god, I’m rambling. I sound like Robin.”

A tiny smile cracks across Eddie’s face at that last part, just for a second, as if agreeing and laughing with him about it rather than at him. Because Eddie is good at stuff like that, at not making Steve feel stupid even when he knows he’s objectively acting the part. Even though Eddie might still be mad at him—it’s hard to tell, but Steve had needed to break in just to talk to him. 

Steve takes a deep breath and tries to rally. “What I’m trying to say is… If you want, if I haven’t totally blown it, I want to be way more than ‘just’ friends with you, Eddie. But you should also know that… I’m pretty weird. Like, I may not be a nerd, but I’m definitely some kind of freak.”

Eddie blinks, focuses on him so hard that Steve feels like he’s under a microscope, then glances down at the set table and back up. “Weird like… letting yourself in and making me a sandwich?”

“It’s… more like toast with a lot of toppings on it,” Steve says weakly. “But you could have mine and put them together to make it a sandwich, if you want.”

“Steve,” Eddie says flatly, a warning to cut the bullshit, and that’s it. 

That’s all it takes. He looks up into Eddie’s eyes and he’s caught, unable to look away from the confused wariness, the caution that he had put there, even if it was by accident. 

“I like to watch you eat,” he admits breathlessly, and he’s so, so grateful to Robin for both putting up with his shit and forcing him to write things down and practice saying them, as clear and unambiguous as he can. “And be content. I like seeing the way it shows up on you, and the way you take up more space, because… you’re here and you can, even though you almost weren’t. And watching it happen is—But it’s more than just, um, physical. I think I… No, I know I want to be with you, Eds, but I need you to know about this first, in case it changes your mind about me. 

“Because I know I can be a lot.” Feeling his face go hot, Steve ducks his head to stare down at his own hands. “I also get jealous sometimes and I’m working on it, and I can be all over the person I’m dating all the time and not everybody likes that. Robin kept hitting me with her pillow for saying ‘clingy,’ but I’ve heard it a lot, so, yeah. And she took the pen away when I wrote down that I can be stupid sometimes, but I barely graduated and didn’t make it into any colleges, so I feel like it’s worth mentioning? You know some of that already, I just want you to, uh. Be able to make an informed decision.”

That was the last line of his little speech, which he’s pretty sure he got through without forgetting anything terribly important. So Steve shuts his mouth and waits for a response, barely aware that he’s holding his breath 

“You wrote it down?” Eddie asks finally. 

“Well, yeah?” Steve can’t read his tone or the expression on his face, which is unsettling—Eddie really would make one hell of a poker player. “I had to figure out what I was going to say so I didn’t fuck up again, otherwise I would’ve come here sooner.”

“Let me get this straight,” Eddie says, then pauses, frowns, and shakes his head slightly as though dislodging a stray thought. “You wrote out a whole speech to tell me that, what? You like that I’ve gotten fat?”

The last word makes Steve go rigid in his chair, because… wow, he just came out and said it, didn’t he? Tone and all. “Uh, yeah, so I wouldn’t accidentally say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s a bad thing! I like you the way you are, and you could get bigger or smaller and I’d still like you just as much! But I… I like taking care of you, and I really like how happy you look when you let yourself relax.”

They stare at each other for a moment that stretches on forever. The earth stops rotating, the sun explodes, and Steve still can’t move because Eddie is looking at him like that. 

This is the moment right before the one where Steve expects Eddie to tell him to get out. 

And then Eddie sits back almost in slow motion, a hand coming to rest absently on his stomach, and he looks… kind of like he had upon waking from a coma and realizing he hadn’t actually died. Like something huge and previously inconceivable is opening up in front of him, and it’s so unexpected it toes the line of too much. 

“Well shit, Steve… I can’t believe you brought me flowers and wrote a whole speech.” He stops to pinch himself, and flinches. “Ow.”

Steve is already reaching out, wanting to soothe the pinched spot on Eddie’s chubby arm because he can’t help it. Same reason he started touching Eddie in the first place, because yeah, Eddie makes his insides go all liquid hot and squirmy, but he couldn’t stand seeing him with a scrunched up face because of a tummy ache, either. 

His fingers brush over warm skin, and before he can second guess himself and pull away Eddie’s hand rests on top of his, giving permission. Holding him to the spot, even, as though trying to press his touch in like a flower between pages of a book. Pressing him into the softness of his upper arm. 

“And for the record,” Eddie says with a hint of a grin, “yeah, you are kind of a freak. I don’t think that has to be a bad thing either—speaking as the King of the Freaks in this vicinity, by popular vote and general reputation.” He bites his lip, hesitates, and adds tentatively, “Look… I think we both kinda fucked up. I didn’t think you could want… How did you put it before? Us stuff.”

Steve glances up from their hands, up from where his gaze had been straying dangerously close to where Eddie’s shirt has ridden up a little. “That’s not your fault. I didn’t do a very good job of showing you that I do.”

“Yeah, well.” There’s a hopeful twinkle in Eddie’s eye as he raises an eyebrow. “That’s right, you know. You could’ve at least kissed me on the mouth before jumping my bones.”

It’s that twinkle that gives Steve the nerve to lean forward and say, “Yeah, no, I was way too chickenshit. But I think I can fix that now.”

The small table makes leaning the rest of the way across easy. Steve has had plenty of first kisses, most of them either gentle and chaste because he was trying to be a gentleman or hard and messy because the date was just a thin pretense for getting laid, but this isn’t either of those. It’s slow, exploratory, savoring—forceful from months of wanting, letting Eddie lick his way in for a taste because Steve thinks he would rather be struck by lightning than deny Eddie anything. Might as well be, with how electrified he feels all the way from the ends of his hair to his toes from the first instant of contact and continuing through every slick motion of their mouths. He feels breathless, heart too big for his body with relief that he hasn’t ruined anything after all. With fucking joy that he gets to have this, that Eddie is kissing back just as fervently. 

It doesn’t feel like a first kiss, not exactly. It feels like they should have been doing this the entire time… because, well, duh. 

They break apart around the time Steve’s head starts to swim from lack of air but don’t go far, leaning their foreheads together and panting against each other’s kiss-bruised lips for a moment. Eddie has a head-empty grin plastered across his face, cherubic and dimpled, and Steve is pretty sure he’s wearing an equally dopey expression. He probably looks extra stupid, half out of his seat and curled over the table like some sort of shrimp, but he doesn’t even care because Eddie wants this. Him, even with all that entails. Apparently. His head is floating and entire body tingling from giddiness, something he hasn’t felt since he’d first convinced Nancy to ‘study’ with him… But that felt like a lifetime ago, and hadn’t been half as intense.

“Would you like to go out with me, Eds? On a date?” Steve breathes, because he’s a hopeless romantic and he wants to do this right. 

And it seems that somehow he has, because Eddie beams back at him brighter than the sun. There are shadows under his eyes and days’ worth of stubble gone unshaven, but he looks more alive than Steve has ever seen him before. 

Eddie bumps their noses together and brings a hand down (when had both of them ended up in Steve’s hair?) to cup his jaw. “Yeah, sweetheart. I’d like that a lot.”

Part 7, part 8

Tag list: @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve

@eyehartart @steviewashere @westifer-dead

[narcosmx]

being the arellano baby and being into ismael "mayo" zambada would include (the wedding cont.)

a/n: has to get this out of my head and dump it here

okay i had this idea stuck in my head

the last part ended with this moment of like benjamin and ramon at odds

benjamin was out here trying to butter mayo up and have you dance with him and at the same time, ramon is sicking his dogs on you to keep you away from mayo

and if this wasn't the representation of your life, watching on the sidelines as like wtf while the boys make these decisions for you

and the idea that stuck in my head was just like what if in that moment you snapped

you had lived your who life being calm, agreeable and this, this just made you snap

so kitty is wrapping his arm around you, guiding you away from mayo who is measuring his next move and you just stop

"no, no, no dejame" you protests, shaking kitty off but when he comes off to grab you by the elbow that's when you truly fucking pop off

"no me escuchastes? get the fuck out of my way, en serio. i'm an arellano-felix just as much as my brothers are dont fucking forget it"

the fucking look on literally everyone's faces when you reminded people who's fucking twin you were

kitty lowering his glasses, giving ramon this look before turing to you with a little like damn girl smirk "orale, perdoname patrona"

i swear dina is in the background with this big ol fucking smile on her face

and you kinda turning around to mayo who is standing there with arms crossed shaking his head in lowkey amazement

"pues, mi princesa, por lo menos ya se quien realmente manda aqui" he teases as he reaches out to you with this little teasing look

you reaching out to grab his hand, him pulling you into him with much less hesitancy now and slinging his arm around your waist as he leads you to go dance

i just pout of getting to the dance floor and he bring you up against him gently, slow dancing to luis miguel and you just kinda melting into him

i'm screaming, head pressed against him and him leaning down to whisper something like "i could get used to this" or or something about like "quizas puedo dejar de ser mi propio patron, solo si tu eres la patrona"

i will never and i mean never get over the thought of mayo calling you his patrona because he will always defer to you

when they stopped the music to transition to the speeches and stuff, you and mayo being the last ones on the dance floor and you being pulled away by one of your sister

"ahorita te la regreso" she'd tease mayo and i just the logging looks you give each others please kill me

okay but then we get to that fucking moment in the speeches, where the poor fucking soul from the sinaloa cartel who was like "and a toast to the eight inches she'll be swallowing" or some shit like that

but could you picture if he added something about baby arellano too if he added something about "and i have some inches the youngest can choke on, don't worry nena"

i'm screeching at the idea of mayo slamming his fucking fist down on the table and standing to like death glare this man almost just almost as fast as ramon gets up to fucking take care of it

dina and benjamin escorting you to go sit down, mayo i just :(( coming over to you and reaching his hand out to caress your face making sure you're okay

thumb going softly across your cheek and he's searching your face "ay, nos encargamos de esto, no te preocupas, reina"

and him winking at you before turning and just casually walking out the door not far behind ramon and his juniors

why do i have this idea of mayo being the kind of man that would want to bring you out and have this piece of shit apologize to you

like holding this guys head up, blowing smoke in his face and being like "pidale perdon, mas bien ruega que te perdona porque yo no"

anyways i'll leave this here

[redflagshipwriter]

Reassembly 6

Masterpost is here.

Peter woke up on the library sofa that he was beginning to think of as his and hefted his bag over his shoulder.

He was doing okay. Really, he was fine. Considering that he was a minor with no resources or adults to help him, his life wasn't so bad.

Last night he'd gone to the gym early and thought about washing his dirty clothes in the shower. He hadn't, but he figured he would have to eventually. He could wear everything at least twice before it was an issue, right?

He chewed on that thought on his way to get breakfast. Today's hotel buffet had boiled eggs, which was new and exciting hotel fare. He made buttery whole grain toast and tried to calculate how many calories he was probably getting on this breakfast buffet lifestyle. ….on the good buffet days 1000 per day, at least.

There was no chance that it was enough to fuel Spider-Man. He had whole fat milk and juice to bulk it up, instead of water, but he knew it really wasn't enough.

‘Maybe I should be going to two buffets per day. They'd notice if I took a day's worth of meals from any one place, but they're open for hours.’

This place was one of the ones that had little plastic tubs of peanut butter with the peel off lid. With a guilty look over at the inattentive desk worker, Peter pocketed a couple for a snack later in the day. The only other non-refrigerated thing that looked small enough to pocket were rolls, and there weren't a ton of those. He took one.

He still had most of the cash from the wallet, but the idea of spending it seemed like a bad one. He might need it a lot more in the future.

‘I should look into food banks?’ That seemed right. There'd been a time after Uncle Ben died that Aunt May had gotten help that way.

Hopefully not for long. Maybe that potential client would hire him today. And them-

….how would they pay him? Peter put his face in his hands and breathed into his fingers for a bit. He didn't have a bank account. Could he open a bank account using only his birth certificate? Probably not! He definitely needed to figure out the social security number thing. Fast.

Peter didn't cry but it was a close thing. It was just… it was all so overwhelming. Nothing was just easy. He couldn't even just work and get paid because there were a billion steps needed before you could get money you'd earned.

Grimly, he wondered if there was something else. There was probably a way to get paid under the table, same day. Manual labor? Some kind of bottom barrel criminal stuff like smuggling or whatever it was people did with drugs?

He wouldn't mind the manual labor, except that it would be a very big problem for his under-fueled metabolism. But he probably had to choose hunger over small time crime. Didn't he? Peter bit his lip and wondered what Aunt May would say. She'd never broken the law, he was pretty sure. But she was a huge proponent of children getting to eat. Maybe she'd forgive him.

That was probably all beside the point. Peter didn’t know how to do any of that. He couldn’t survive by doing crime if he tried. He was kind of relieved to dismiss the idea that way.

‘School really might be my way out,’ Peter thought longingly. ‘If I get a scholarship and housing, that’s a ton of my problems solved right there. I’d be able to get a legit job a lot easier with an address and maybe a student ID.’

That was a longer term plan, then. For now, he had to figure out how to eat until that panned out.

Unbidden, he remembered Kon’s unused kitchen and endless credit cards.

Peter instantly felt a deep well of shame. He wasn’t going to use Kon like that. He wasn’t befriending Kon to benefit. That would be majorly messed up.

He was really looking forward to their planned hangout today, though. He didn’t feel guilty at the thought that he’d probably get to eat there if he cooked. That was normal, that was the kind of thing that friends did. It would be weirder to invite him over and not eat together.

They hadn’t exactly picked a time. Peter figured he would kill time until the library opened at 10, check his email, maybe study a little, and then head over. He didn’t want to go over there so early that Kon fed him both lunch and dinner. It had been fine last time, but it would be tacky to orchestrate that on purpose.

Social Security numbers. Peter mentally reframed the day’s mission to that. He’d check the email, sure, but rather than studying coding he was going to figure out how to get a social security number.

Well. Two. One for his real name, and one for his office workersona.

Peter cleared out of the hotel lobby when he heard an employee start to move around in the office behind the desk. He went to another hotel, got a piece of toast, fruit, and coffee, and then killed time by walking around for a couple of hours.

He wound through the morning crowds with an easy grace and enjoyed the pretense that he was one of them, a regular guy headed to work or something. It felt good to be lost in a crowd and have absolutely no one look at him like he was sticking out. He was having a terrible time but honestly, for a homeless jobless teenager, he was doing a really good job. He didn’t look weird or smell bad, and he’d figured out at least a short term survival strategy and a long term plan that he was working towards.

Oh. Peter felt a twist in his gut. He didn’t stop walking but he felt guilty about it. He probably shouldn’t be mindlessly burning energy by walking around, not when he was eating maybe half of what an average human should eat per day. Mr. Stark had put his ideal intake around 3500 calories, more if he was active. He had a lot of muscle that he really didn’t want his body to cannibalize for fuel.

…There were still a couple hours until the library opened. Peter really, really wished he at least had a library card. If he’d been able to take out a book he could sit on a bench somewhere and kill time without looking too weird. He could even go to a diner and get like, a one dollar black coffee and hang out. Since this was a fantasy, he went ahead and mentally added a cinnamon roll to the imaginary order. Wow, luxury!

Peter laughed to himself. No one looked at him, because this was New York City and a kid laughing on the sidewalk was banal.

It was a weird little goal, but it made him smile. He’d fix his life. He’d have a legal identity, and a place to sleep, and be able to go to school and work. When he got to that point he’d be able to go to a restaurant and order a cinnamon roll and not worry about anything, except how he was going to get back to his universe or whatever. You know, just the normal concerns, not survival.

He killed time in a park, watching ducks bob around and groom each other. The sunshine did something for his mood. When he felt it had been long enough he went to the library and followed through on his plan. He didn’t have any emails yet, except a notification from the job site saying that employers were looking at his profile and he could see who, for a nominal fee!

Peter deleted the email, disgruntled. Seemed kinda predatory.

He went on to learn about the social security system. Apparently they were assigned randomly, and there were multiple physical addresses that issued cards. There were more of them than he’d expected. He found one in a 3rd floor address nearby that was open from 7am to 4 pm and figured out how to get there and what the building looked like. Then he did more reading, brow furrowed, trying to figure out what to do.

It might be more secure to make it look like he was an immigrant who got a social security number assigned as an adult. If he claimed to be from out of the country, then it would be harder to research where he supposedly came from.

On the other hand, he didn’t want to lose his identity as a New Yorker. That was important to him. Peter bit his lower lip and thought it over.

Actually. You didn’t have to be born in the states to be a real New Yorker. He made up imaginary back stories for both of his IDs. The worksona was a born citizen, because Peter didn’t think that was likely to get looked into much. Since that person didn’t really exist, he was going to abandon it as soon as he didn’t need it.

His real ID for the universe was going to be from overseas. He decided that he’d been born in… Moldova.

Peter took a moment to look up Moldova to be sure it still existed in this universe. It did, and it seemed about the same. No travel restrictions to the United States, but not much economic power. It was not a common place to come from, but that fit his purposes. He didn’t want someone to ask why he didn’t speak whatever his supposed native language was.

…Peter made a mental note to look up language resources. Even if he’d supposedly emigrated at a young age, it would be more convincing if he knew at least a little. And it would be a good way to spend some time.

Huh. That was an idea. He probably couldn’t take books out of the library, but he could get a notebook and a pencil for like, 2 dollars, and take notes here. Then he’d have something to study in the hours he was outside with nothing to do. He’d look a lot less weird just sitting around if he looked like a student.

He took a minute to look up their flag and a few trivia points. Then Peter called it good enough for now and started off towards Kon’s apartment.

It would be a lie to say that it was convenient. It could have been worse, but it was far enough that Peter would have used the subway if he had the money to spend.

…He made a note to look into subway hopping. That wasn’t a real crime. It shouldn’t cost anything to use public transportation, it was literally built for public use. But right now, on the way to see a friend, seemed like a bad time to possibly get held up for a misdemeanor.

So he walked. It took him 40 minutes to get to the apartment block. He ducked into a dollar store that he passed on the way to get the notebook and pencil he had decided on, feeling good about it. His stomach grumbled when he passed the cooler with sandwiches and drinks. He ignored it as best as he could and directed his gaze elsewhere. It was easier to be hungry when there wasn’t food nearby.

Peter knocked on the door with his knuckles.

The door opened before he could call out. Kon grinned down at him and then whooshed back to let him in.

“Thanks,” he said. “Have a good day so far?”

Kon shrugged. The light caught on the metal spikes on his jacket with the movement. He turned around and walked ahead of Peter. “I was out of town ‘til this morning, sleepover with some friends,” he said.

Somehow the sight of his absurd muscles peeking out the mesh window startled a cough out of Peter, even though he’d been there when Kon modified the jacket.

“How about you?”

Peter’s brain took a moment to come online. “Uh, I was at the library this morning,” he said. At the weird look Kon gave him, he shrugged self consciously and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m looking into college stuff,” he justified. That was really normal.

“...College, huh.” Now Kon looked uncomfortable. “You must be smart.”

Peter’s face burnt red. “In some ways,” he dodged. “Are you gonna go?”

Kon blinked at him. “I mean….” He gestured at himself with one hand. “I’m not exactly the type, am I?”

“Because you’re hot?” Peter asked, confused. What else was that gesture at his pecs supposed to illustrate?

They stared at each other. Then Kon broke out into snickers. “Because I’m not that smart,” Kon said, like it was a fact of life. “It’s just not for me.”

Kon was laughing, but Peter felt… he felt kind of angry, actually. “Who told you that?” he demanded. He curled his hands into fists in his pockets. “Why don’t you think you’re smart? Eff that. You could go to college. Maybe you should go with me,” he added impulsively. He could help Kon figure it out. Honestly, Kon probably needed help if his parents weren’t talking to him about school or a job.

“Where are you going?” Kon asked. He cocked his head to the side.

Ah. Well. “I’m not very far in the process yet, but I was thinking about Gotham U for engineering,” Peter admitted.

Kon started laughing for real. “Gotham,” he gasped. “Gotham? Me, in Gotham?”

Peter felt his shoulders hunch up. “They have a good program,” he said stiffly. He hadn’t thought Kon would laugh at him. His throat felt tight. He took a step backwards without thinking about it. Maybe this was a mistake.

Somehow Kon tuned into his mood even without looking. He held up a hand, flustered through the remnants of his snickers. “No– no, I mean, I have a friend in Gotham,” he said. “I didn’t expect you to bring that up as a possibility.”

Oh. The stiffness in his shoulders relaxed, just a bit.

“Maybe I should go,” Kon mused. “And surprise him. That would be really funny.”

Peter shrugged.

[vixstarria]

✨Prepare for an unsolicited info dump✨

I was tagged by @herdarkestnightelegance - thanks!

Do you make your bed? Yes, always - I might leave other things lying around, but the bed is the no. 1 thing that always gets done - otherwise the bedroom looks too messy and irks me

Favorite number? I don't have a favourite number.

What’s your job? So... I work in a small law firm as the person who does everything but provide legal advice. Accounts, IT, HR, admin, random paralegal stuff - I'm your guy (gn). No one at work really knows exactly what it is I do, but they generally assume I'm always busy, which provides ample opportunity to shitpost on tumblr during work hours. E.g. right now. I love my job.

If you could go back to school would you? Absolutely not, I still have PTSD and recurring nightmares about school. I mean, I don't mind learning, per se, but I would strongly prefer it to be on my own terms, remote, and outside of a formal academic environment. And definitely not in the country I grew up and went to school in.

Can you parallel park? Strangely enough, yes. I do note that I do not have a license, however.

Do you think aliens are real? There has to be alien life of some kind out there, but it won't be little green men in blinking flying saucers. ...Although then again, hey, within the infinity of the universe, maybe there ARE little green men in saucers as well, somewhere, who knows?

Can you drive a manual car? Strictly within the confines of an empty parking lot - sure

What’s your guilty pleasure? Oh gosh, of what kind? Food - spicy ramen noodles with a bunch of stuff (mushrooms, egg, etc) thrown in. I love it, but I swear I immediately gain a kg any time I have a bowl. Music - early 2000's R&B, pop and nu metal. It's nostalgia, okay? Media - reality fashion shows that involve competitions, e.g. Project Runway, or ANTM. And cooking shows, but I don't feel guilty about those lol.

Tattoos? No, nothing's ever struck me as significant enough for me to want to have it on my skin permanently. If I had a weird scar I would cover it up with a tattoo, though.

Favorite color? Purple, especially lilac and lavender shades.

Favorite types of music? It fluctuates, but I've mostly been on an electronic / industrial binge lately.

Do you like puzzles? Puzzles often make me feel like an idiot, but if there is no timer, pressure or audience - sure. ...Or like, jigsaw puzzles? I fkn LOVE jigsaw puzzles.

Any phobias? Nope.

Favorite childhood sport? Bold of you to assume I participated in ANY sport as a child, much less had a favourite. Uh. Ice skating and rollerblading was fun, I guess. I sometimes contemplate getting rollerblades again, but then I also rather enjoy all my bones being intact. 🤔

Do you talk to yourself? All the time, although mostly in the form of muttered swears and various exclamations.

What movies do you adore? I'm going to pass on this one, or it might turn into a very long rant. To summarise: I like weird movies, horror and comedy horror. Some examples: Mulholland Drive, Eraserhead, Army of Darkness.

Coffee or tea? Both. Start the day with coffee, then drink tea for the remainder. I'm very particular with my coffee though - every morning begins with a little ritual of grinding whole beans and preparing it with a french press.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? One of my earliest memories is me wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up, and my little 4 or 5 year old brain thinking that my only options were teacher, doctor and cashier, for some reason, and being sad because I didn't want to be any of those. I don't think I ever wanted to be anything, as a child - I just wanted to read my books and play with my toys. In fact, I still feel that way. 😠

No pressure tagging (and sorry for any repeats): @spacebarbarianweird @thechaoticdruid @snowfolly @brabblesblog @confused-butter-toast @tragedybunny

[scoops-stevie-archive]

a piece from the roadtrip fic that just hit me while i was buttering my toast

Chrissy rolls over to face him. Eddie can't tell if she's still drunk or not.

She giggles when he reaches over and swipes a thumb under her eye where the eyeliner is smudged and the corners of Eddie's lips tick up in amusement. He lets his hand fall back to the bed and tucks it underneath his pillow.

Chrissy's eyes are starting to droop and just when Eddie thinks she's out, she takes in a sharp breath and shifts under the covers, pulling them under her chin. She looks at Eddie with an unreadable expression.

"Do you think..." Her voice is barely above a whisper, like she doesn't want to disrupt the comfortable silence that's settled between them. It's a stark contrast to how loud she was at the bar and when Eddie dragged her through the door of their hotel room, still drunkenly slurring that Cyndi Lauper song from karaoke.

"And you've taken all you can bare, you call me up because you know I'll be there."

"Alright, superstar," Eddie chuckles fondly as he sits her on the edge of the bed. "I think it's time you hit the hay. You're gonna have a bitch of a hangover in the morning."

He kneels down in front of her and starts unlacing her boots. Her singing stops and Chrissy sits up from where she'd flopped onto her back and gives Eddie a look that he equates to a pouting bunny. "I am not a bitch in the mornings, Edward Munson."

It startles a laugh out of Eddie so hard that he almost chokes on it. "That's not even remotely close to what I said, but," he gives her an apologetic look, "you kind of are, babe."

It earns him a deserved smack on the head but Chrissy quickly goes back to humming her songs and Eddie is able to get her out of her party clothes and into her pajamas without much fuss.

"You can always call me," she says before he turns the lights out. Her back is turned but her voice is clear. "You know that right? Just like I can always call you."

Eddie blinks, hand froze under the lamp shade. "Of course I know that, Chris," he says after a blip of silence. She doesn't say anything else so Eddie turns the light off and slips under he blankets beside her.

Eddie nudges her socked foot with his own bare one. "Do I think what?"

Chrissy bites her lip like she does when she's nervous. "If we both weren't gay and you weren't dating Steve, do you think we would've worked out?"

The question catches Eddie off guard. "Oh."

Chrissy shakes her head and quickly sits up. "It's a stupid question, I know. I shouldn't have asked–"

"Hey." Eddie grabs her hand before she can get out of bed. "It isn't stupid. Nothing you ever say is stupid, don't say mean things about my best friend."

That gets a watery laugh out of her. Eddie gently gives her hand a pull and Chrissy easily lays back down. The lights stay off because this feels like a lights off conversation.

"I don't know," Eddie says honestly, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. "Maybe. But I think that deep down we would have known we aren't right for each other that way."

Chrissy looks at their hands and nods. "Yeah... Even if it meant figuring this stuff out later, I think I would have liked to try."

A sadness makes a home in Eddie's core. Deep down he knows he never would have been able to give her the kind of love she deserves, but he also knows that Chrissy thinks she doesn't deserve any type of love at all.

So he scoots closer until he's got her pulled into his chest, their arms around each other. "What I do know is that you're my best friend in the whole world. And I know that there isn't a single universe in which I wouldn't find you and make sure you know how much I love you."

He feels Chrissy hug him tighter and he kisses the top of her head.

"You're loved by so many people, Chrissy Cunningham."