#this is one of my fastest shitposts ever

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

There's nothing like a game of Go Fish in the morning!

[itsyourstarboy]

Streamer!Honey Headcanons Pt.5

First Part

AT LONG LAST.... THE STREAMER!HONEY HEADCANONS FINALE

Note: This may be the last part, but it is not the end of Streamer!Honey!!! Just the long-winded headcanon posts. I have more planned for the future ^^ mini-fics, shitposts, all sorts of shenanigans <3

—

The punch became a meme. Honey hates it, and Guy hates that Honey hates it.

But god if it isn’t hilarious.

It took a good few months for Honey to stop beating themself up over it, and now they are able to look back on it and laugh. They even have a GIF of the moment as an alert for gifted subs.

—

Charity streams!!! Honey loves doing them. It’s fun, and for a good cause.

And, though it’s fun, sometimes it can get out of hand.

It was meant to be a joke! But, before they knew it, they hit the donation goal...

♡♡♡♡♡♡

HFDJSFEJGGFJSK

IM FREAKING OUT

CANTWAITCANTWAITCANTWAIT

I can’t believe they’re actually doing this 🤭🤭🤭

I DONT KNOW IF MY GAY LITTLE HEART WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

The sound of the door opening made chat go mostly still.

Honey, very reluctantly with an embarrassed scowl on their face, stepped into camera view.

They stood stiffly, pondering how they ended up here. Here, on stream, in front of thousands of perfect strangers...

Wearing a maid outfit.

Not even a comfortable one! It was frilly, and itchy, and the skirt was way too fucking short.

OMFGNO I FCKING CANT-

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I CANT BREATHE

OH MY GOOOOOOOD

You look so cute!!!

THIS WAS SO WORTH THE MONEY

IM WHEEZING AND I CANT FIND MY INHALERR

HSGJJFHZJAHHAHAHAH

Oh 😳😳

WHY IT LOOK KINDA GOOD THO??

[HONEY’S] TOO HOT THEY KILLED SOMEBODY

“I hate everything,” Honey muttered, as they tried to tug the dress down. It was bad enough that it was so revealing, but it also wouldn’t zip up all the way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

It would only get worse, however, as the next goal would add thigh highs.

And the one after that would add...

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING NOW

AaaaawwwWWWW WHAT A CUTE KITTY

You mean “right fucking meow?”

THEY LOOK SO PISSED LMAO

SAY NYA RIGHT FUCKING MEOW

They’re gonna kill us 😭😭😭😭

IM QUEER

With what? Their wittle paws?? 😽😽

This is my phone lockscreen now

Simp

“Yeah, you all better enjoy this, ‘cause I’m never doing it again.”

Doubt it, this is the fastest we’ve ever raised money

NOOOOOOOOO

Still waiting for you to say nya

NYAAAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA

ITS THE CIIIIIIIIRRRRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIFEEE

“I’m not saying that.”

tf you’re not-

★someone donated $50★

SAY NYA BITCH

Honey heaved out a sigh that bordered a growl, and very blandly, “nya.”

As Chat cheered and went practically feral, Honey could only be glad that this couldn’t possibly get any wors-

They froze as they heard the Jaws theme start playing.

“Oh f-”

HE’S HEEEERE

YEEEEEEEESS

HoneysHeaven: wowah 😳

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

HOLY CRAP SOMEONE TAGGED HIM ON TWITTER 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HoneyHeaven: hey there Honey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SOMEONE SNITCHED????

Honey braced their elbows on their desk and hid their face in their hands. “Go back to working.”

HoneysHeaven: I will if you promise to still be wearing that when I get home 👀👀

“I’m burning it as soon as this stream ends.”

NOO YOU CANT BURN IT YOU LOOK SO SEXYY 😩😩

The boy just wants to see you all dolled up Boo, let him have his treat

“The next 15 minutes are going to be hell.”

HoneysHeaven: oooh the next goal you put on a collar, hm? 😏😏

Guy ur killing even me rn

OH WAIT I JUST GOT GUYS USERNAME

HoneysHeaven: Honey can you send me like $70

“I am not sending you money.”

HoneysHeaven: awww cmon 🥺🥺 my break ends in 2 minutes I just want to see you in a collar

ITS FOR CHARITY

DONATE TO THE CAUSE

“I’ll put you in a collar,” Honey grumbled with their arms crossed tightly.

HoneysHeaven: wouldn’t be the first time 😉

HOW DO WE RAISE ANOTHER 500 IN 10 MINUTES

AYO WHAT????

—

Guy likes interrupting Honey’s streams unprompted. He loves seeing the smile on their face. The gentle one that they wear while doing what they love. It makes him want to smother them in kisses.

Sometimes when he does this, he forgets about the mask and glasses. There have been plenty of times where he’s nearly accidentally exposed his face to the world, and it gives his honey a mini heart attack each time.

Honey made the executive decision to rearrange their setup so that the door was no longer in view. That way, Guy could spontaneously enter as much as he pleased.

—

Honey was still streaming when Guy returned home from work. They had told him in advance that this stream would be dragging on a bit longer than normal.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Honey looked up as they heard the door click open. Guy entered, waving a paper bag around.

“Honeeeey,” he sang, “I’ve brought you somethiiiiing.”

is that the boy i hear 👀👀👀

EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEED TO WITNESS THIS

DETROIT CAN WAIT THIS IS IMPORTANT

Honey eyed the bag skeptically as Guy drew closer, “should I be worried?”

“No,” Guy laughed, stopping right outside of the camera’s view. “I brought you donuts!”

“Ooh, really? What’s your motive?”

“Wha-? Motive!? Why do you think I would have a motive?”

Honey raised an eyebrow at their boyfriend and smirked.

Immensely offended, Guy scoffed, “what, am I not allowed to bring the most important person in my life a treat? Purely out of my own volition and the kindness of my heart?”

“I was joking before, but now I’m actually suspicious...”

“Just take the donuts, Honey,” Guy softly spoke with a warm smile, holding out the bag and leaning forward.

When Honey’s hand brushed against his own, Guy leaned closer, his other hand cupping the back of their neck. He held the bag up to hide his face from viewers as he placed a gentle kiss on his partners cheek.

Honey, growing ever more flustered, let out a nervous chuckle as they pushed Guy away and accepted the gifts.

AWWWWHDWSAIHDGDKDSBIDS

ITS HAPPENING

OMG

NO

DID HE KISS THEM??

WHERE IS THE CLIP I NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN

When you’re so lonely you’re living vicariously through someone in your screen

UH YEAH THATS THE POINT

OF COURSE

I GOT THE CLIP I GOT IT

Chat wouldn’t stop talking about it for the entire rest of the stream.

And for the next 4 streams after that...

—

Chat knows that Guy is important to Honey. No other roommate of theirs has ever become such a big part of their life, everyone knows that they have to be something more.

They stopped bugging Honey about it after a year. It's just kind of common knowledge that these two have a lot of chemistry, but asking straight up about their relationship won't work.

Not that having an answer would change anything, Chat loves seeing how happy Honey is with Guy.

—

It took a little over a year for Honey to agree, but finally they are streaming a game with Guy!!

They're playing Raft. Honey in their streaming room, and Guy in the living room. They're communicating through discord, and Chat is having a blast.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Did you finish building that engine yet?" Honey asked, filling a chest with some items.

"No, I thought you were going to do it," Guy answered.

"I literally told you to go ahead and make one two minutes ago!"

"I was busy distracting the shark while you were scavenging all that shit underwater!"

We should get them couples counciling

Guy can't keep being shark bait ooh ah ah 😭😭

I still don't understand the point of this game

It's his destiny

Raft

raft

The point is raft

RAFT

"Honey, I think I'm dying. My hunger bar is low."

"Then eat something, we have plenty of food."

"I don't think I can make it back in time," Guy whined.

"Wh- where are you??"

You could practically hear Guy's pout, "I went back on the island because you were mad at me."

"I am not mad at you," Honey responded, exasperated, "where are you at on the island?"

"Uhmm... I'm in a place with lots of trees."

"Okay, I'm bringing you some shark meat."

"The shark is dead?"

"Yeah I killed it."

[HONEY] MOVE FASTER WE CANT LET HIM DIE

They are playing the game so wrong I am ripping my hair out

Tip: multiple sails will make you go faster

They can play however they want to 😡

The only right way to do anything is the [Honey] and Guy way

"Oh shi-" Guy started, "I'm dead."

"You're fiiine."

"No, my character just collapsed from hunger."

"Don't be dramatic, I'm almost there."

"I'm not being dramatic!! I died!!!"

"A little death never killed anybody."

Honey found Guy's character, limp on the ground, and picked him up.

"Alright, you big baby, I'll take you to the bed."

"Oooooh," Guy sang impishly, "you're carrying me to bed?"

"Yep."

"What are you gonna do with me once we get there?"

"When we get there, you are gonna build that goddamn engine!"

Upon arrival to the raft, Honey discovered something...

"Where the fuck is the bed??"

Guy coughed out a laugh, "oh, uhm- I might've taken it with me when I left."

"Why would you do that!?!?"

"Because you were mad at me!!!"

"I swear to god-" Honey dropped Guy's carcass on the raft and went to collect materials to make another bed.

"Honeeeeey," Guy whined, "this wooden floor is hard."

Honey sighed, "I'm making you a bed, hold on."

"Come lay underneath meeee."

AGDKSGAKBFK

Boi he wants them under him 👀👀

Can't believe they let Guy die, I'll never forgive them for this 😢🤧😖 /lh /j

Our boy really stepped up his flirting game 😳😳😳

Too bad [Honey] is too oblivious

They're not oblivious, they're an asshole

A distinct sound of sharp teeth chomping into their hard work caught Honey's attention.

"Fuckin' hell," they murmured, "the stupid shark is back."

"Hurry up making the bed and I can kill it," Guy offered.

"I thought you were making the bed," Honey retorted.

Guy scoffed, "Honey!!!!"

"I gotta stab the shark, hold on."

Cold blooded

Yeah

They don't deserve Guy I'm gonna kidnap him

That shark is an endangered species!!!

DoNT YOU DARE GUYNAP OUR BELOVED BOY

Finally, finally, Honey returned and placed Guy's character on the bed. He sprang up immediately.

Guy's cheerful voice started up, "yayyy, thank you Hone-" and was cut off with a yelp.

The shark had glitched through the bottom of the raft and attack Guy. It scared him half to death, but Honey?

Honey was laughing hysterically.

And it was music to Guy's ears.

Gasping for breath, they kept trying to say something, but continuously fell into a fit of giggles.

Guy was barely able to form his own words without laughing, trying to feign offense at his honey's joy in seeing him hurt. But hearing them laugh so heartily? He couldn't help but melt.

And he didn't want to just hear it, he wanted to see it.

"I'm coming to get you, Honey!" He announced, just before darting towards their room.

"No, no no!" They tried to object, but it was too late as Guy came bursting in.

They were in his arms and on the floor in an instant, tears streaming down their face as they tried to breathe.

Their face hurt from smiling, and they tried to calm down, but as soon as their breathing slowed Guy started to tickle them.

"Guy-! No!! Stop it!" They squealed and squirmed, but to no avail. Their previous laughing fit left them exhausted.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel like we shouldn't be watching this

HES SO CUTE????

GUY FACE REVEAL!!!!!

EVERYONE SHIELD YOUR EYES

TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES THIS IS ILLEGAL

Wait I think I've seen him before!

When all settled down, Guy and Honey were nothing but a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, just barely out of frame.

"I love you, Honey," he said softly.

Honey smiled, "I love you too."

—

When the couple realized that Guy was no longer anonymous, Honey made him start carrying pepper spray while he worked.

Gotta keep the boy safe.

The End.

A/N: Thank you for reading the Streamer!Honey series ♡ I've loved writing it, and it makes me so happy that you all loved it as well!

[thekingofchungus]

me drawing boys moodboard

[jackedspicer]

C.B.H.!

new chowder oc dropped. Youre gonna hate this guy so much

first of all, corned beef hash is a character that my siblings @collectiveazaelas​ & @castingcomets​ and i have collaborated on making. from the bottom of our hearts, we hope you hate him as much as we do

at first glance, corned beef hash serves as a narrative foil to ms rhubarb. his initial conception centered loosely around antagonizing her, but his personality quickly grew beyond that. he is a beast unto himself and others. his only goal is to be self serving and (intentionally) get in the way of others in his life, primarily the other OCs kumquat and pimento, but also canon characters as well. he does this not out of spite or dislike for others, but rather it’s just because he can, and it is often times the fastest route to his goal. he is the freudian id, if the id had a sense of self control and awareness (though he does occasionally blip out on the latter). 

cbh's age isnt exactly clear. he exists in the comically broad adult world that most of marzipan city seems to: anywhere from 25-2500; whos to say? he graduated valedictorian from law school. around this time, he terrorized his dormmate (and future "friend"), pimento (a ram-like man with a few loose screws), to the point of dropping out and going into the culinary field, as "a kitchen during rush hour is still less stressful than sharing a living space with cbh." cbh is at times a petty thief, and at times a criminal mastermind - it depends on his current "schemes" and what is funny at the time. he knows the law to the letter and sometimes uses it to his advantage. though others sometimes think he is a temperamental idiot, most actions are done through thought-out choice and by utilizing his own strengths.

He has a stand in the farmer’s market at which he sells an assortment of mysterious wares and occasionally baked goods that are Evil & Wrong. The quality of his stock ranges anywhere between genuine artifacts to actual garbage from the dumpster, which he will then try to “spruce up” and sell as something more. He’s a hustler no doubt, and he earns his supply through meticulous dumpster-diving, talking down prices at thrift stores, and general vaguely-illegal tomfoolery. At times, he’ll get his hands on elusive items, and how he accomplishes this is seldom explained (he once was arrested and jailed for 12 days because he “accidentally” was selling illegal dognip). He frequently enlists in Kumquat’s help in his various endeavors and typically has her do the dirty work. For example, one of their foraging techniques involves his hooking her onto a fishing line and casting her out to sea; it’s usually just junk, but sometimes she’s clutching a few shiny souvenirs when reeled back in.

He does move the physical location of his stand around a lot, both to “drain fresh pockets” and to avoid growing too known and hated in one area. That being said, he’s been at this for a while, so every vendor at the farmer’s market knows him and is all too familiar with his cycling. The clientele are just unfamiliar enough to fall for his beguilement, though, save for a few skeevy regulars who seek him out for his stuff.

yes he was valedictorian. yes he was a frat boy all throughout college. yes he does beer kegs by pouring the beer directly into his head. yes hes a criminal mastermind. No its not a big deal

being a “bottlehead” (as he calls himself), he doesnt know what sex is (why would he need to?) but he doesnt know that he doesnt know. he loves the culture of it and he’ll hit on anyone. he doesn’t get vocab, but he’s raunchy without hesitation (see quotes section)

he has his eyes on the front of his skull because hes a pursuit predator

his tragic flaw is that he has no flaws. likewise, his lack of complexity is what makes him complex. He has no insecurities. This guy is a black hole. He is everything, but most importantly, he is Nothing.

It’s typical for him to throw around callous, vulgar, and at times offensive references. Case in point: his favorite nicknames for kumquat are Cumsquat and Cumsquirt. Likewise, his nicknames for pimento are Pissmentos, Bimento, Bitchmento, etc.

whenever he does something to boast about, he pounds his chest, turns around, flashes the back of his jacket, and chants C.B.H.! the way a frat boy chants his college's name

he's largely inspired by the way chris fleming characterizes the massachusettsian frat boy. in our minds, he also shares a voice with him.

he feels no shame and he does not hide himself. He may be a bullheaded, grandiose individual, but that doesnt mean he'll withhold his words of affirmation. he'll say something and really mean it - he gives and withholds performances for no one, as he only serves himself.

He devotes no time to introspection. it’s debatable that he might not even know how, but it would be time squandered as there’s not much to introspect On.

it’s a mistake to misinterpret kumquat as his little buddy whom he feels affection for; in his mind, they’re on the same team is all. hes gotta protect his own. It’s as if they’re in the same frathouse. that being said, hes not a good team player. he gets along with kumquat and at times pimento because they’re both socially passive, and the same goes for any relationship he’s ever had. Working with someone of his caliber would guarantee the butting of heads and stalemates on stalemates. A disaster

he’s heavily inspired by 3OH!3

his other inspirations include grunkle stan, brucie kibbutz, and caesar from big top burger, in equal parts

his species is potion

his mother is a lava lamp, his father is a science flask, and he has several siblings, with one of which being a bong named Oregano.

Cannot stand being called Corn

QUOTES

“C.B.H.!”

“You wanna go? You wanna start some BEEF with the HASH?!”

“By the power vested in me by the state of marzipan city i now pronounce you FUCKED PWNED”

“I’LL SUCK YOUR MOM’S DICK, BRO, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!”

You want to know if his potion liquid is adhesive so you ask him if he has a meniscus and he thinks that youre asking him smth dirty so he says “hey hey i’m on my day job right now. Come by after 8 and ask me then, see what happens”

“If it’s not broke, we don’t sell it!” (motto)

“You wanna throw rocks at this glass house?”

 “Oh i’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was politically incorrect to have my TITS OUT”

“Broskis can you keep it down, im trying to get my wicked sleep gnar gnar on”

“I’M GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM SERIOUSLY GONNA COME UNCORKED”

“Bro, i can’t deal with you trying to kiss me & shit. I’m not gay. Like, yeah, i’ll fuck a dude, marry a dude, but i seriously can’t be seen smooching someone with horns that big, you dig?”

“MY MOM DOESN’T LIKE YOU, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOES!”

“Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, i’m looking at the fucker right now.”

“Whose bottle do i gotta brush to [XYZ] around here?”

his uncieknuckies-type shitpost blog: @corndbeefhash​

and finally, his difficult person ranking:

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

OOC; To Mod - hello! I’m doing a fun thing where I hop into the askboxes of different writers and ask them about their favorite works! This specific blog is like. A huge undertaking, so if you wanna geek out about it, go for it! This can include anything, from arc development shit to fun facts about the blog and how it operates. This is such a cool idea anyways, and I’m sure people would love to hear about it. :)

I am going to geek out about this so hard that you’ll regret ever talking to me.

Hmm...What to talk about that won’t spoil the future of HKU...Oh I know! How about I ramble about

HKU and the Long and Arduous Process of Making Characters and Themes

I will try to avoid details when I can, but I will be discussing the latest developments with Siv, Larc, and Astor, so consider yourself warned for spoilers and catch up if you haven't yet! :3

Waste not, want not: Why I find it important to not waste characters and time

In Hyrule Kingdom Updates, Asivus "Siv" Hartell is the protagonist. Zelda(Mallory) is the deuteragonist. Then finally, LinkLink is the tritagonist. They are the perspectives that I would find most important. However, all in all, I would consider there to be six really important characters in order for HKU to work, that being: Siv, Zelda, Link, Larc, Astor, and Zavis.

Now, I say "really" important for demonstrative purposes because really, all characters are important. Every single one of them. Characters are the lifeblood of HKU, and I spend a lot of time making sure that they don't give off the impression of being self-inserts or just there for fun. I mean they are, but I spend a lot of time making sure they don't seem like that *wink wink*

This is what I define as the essentials for any "good" character:

Someone who provides an interesting/new perspective on the themes of the story

Someone whose wants and needs enhance the plot

Someone that can be understood as an individual

Yet someone that wouldn't be important to the story, without their bonds and relationships to the other characters

I don't really care about how likable a character is, or relatable, or how funny or badass they are; that's all secondary. Third-endary, even. If a character doesn't do enough to serve my story, I cut them, and merge their ideas with an existing characters. Caricautures are for comic relief, and in order to maintain a reader's interest an immersion into my story, I want to consistently give them characters that are well thought out and important. Whenever there's a new face, or an unexpected appearance, I want it to be wordlessly understood that I'm not wasting their time, that there is something this character has to offer.

A reader finding value in something/someone is one of the most important things a writer can have, because it is that particular investment that drives the story, or at least, my story. I cannot stress enough how vital characters are to HKU because this quite literally wouldn't work if you removed even one person from the plot. If you don't find these people important and interesting then EVERYTHING'S ruined. Everything. Every post is a battle for your attention and time, every piece of dialogue is a line I cast into the sea just hoping that there's someone swimming in the ocean because at any MOMENT you could click away, and I know this because I AM a reader, and I WOULD click away if I found something boring. So every plot point is just a battle between the writer me, wanting to spew everything, and reader me, who knows what the essentials are, and what to do to keep a person's investment.

This cycle of writing the story and characters, and understand what is essential and interesting to a reader is what led to me cutting over 20 characters and arcs from HKU.

That's how much time I spend on these fictional fuckers, no one is wasted or expendable. I think the only character that I could write out if I wanted to would be Hestu, and that's mainly because I did actually forget they existed until the Lost Wood's arc rolled around.

So with those points in mind, let's look at some of the characters that I spent a lot of time writing for, that is Siv, Larc, and Astor.

Welcome to the shitpost blog: First Impressions and Establishing...Everything

Welcome to @hyrule-kingdom-updates, and thank you for following! This is just a little comedic blog featuring funny posts from characters who live within Breath of the Wild Hyrule.

Hook, line, and sinker.

There's a lot of reasons why I started HKU this way, (one of them mainly being that I knew no one would read it if I opened immediately with the plot) but the main reason being I believe it was the fastest way to get you interested in the world and the protagonist.

The theme of HKU centers around trauma, and asking the question of what's the right way to deal with the malice(not the goop but like, real-life malicious things) of the world.

So if you want to move a story into a direction that plunges a fictional fairytale kingdom into the realities of life, you first have to establish that fictional fairytale kingdom and it's characters,

Even from the very first post I am working to establish character.

Now, it might seem silly, but there's actually a lot of information that you automatically take in from these two posts alone.

The diction and lack of proper punctuation implies that the narrator is more casual and down to earth

The narrator is aware that people are reading these "updates"

The immediate contrast between the "professional" introduction and humerous shitpost provides insight as to the sense of humour present

The orator is new at their job, and perhaps wants to keep their position

The narrators updates are under the influence of the Royal Family, perhaps more specifically, King Rhoam.

The establishment of Rhoam being in power and Urbosa being alive tells as to when in the timeline of Hyrule we are

Addressments like "don't worry" and "wish me luck" imply that there is value in the reader's opinion and perspective

The goal of the shit post says was basically to establish the world, and what kind of person Siv is. On a meta level, I want you to laugh at the shit posts because that's what Siv is doing. I KNOW you're enjoying the shitposts, therefore it more believable for you to understand that this is something Siv does as well. There's an unspoken distance between you and the world, even if your asks impact it. For you, this is just another funny day in the life, and the same can be said for Siv, but the difference is that for him, it actually IS a reality.

That's why I really enjoyed these days because I was just schemeing behind the scenes, knowing how I was going to turn this all over your heads.

So, you know how he is at the start. Siv is an apathetic individual, he laughs off whatever shit comes his way, and cares only for himself. His view of the world of Hyrule is through the lens of someone who seems to have accept that he has no control over his life, his very job is dictated by royals.

And though he has no respect for authority, and has been deemed a lowly criminal by most people, he still seems like a pretty decent guy. Human. It seems pretty apparant that even though he pretends to not care about the world, he obviously has human morals and wants, and would more than anything like to have control over his life, but he seems to have accepted that's not going to happen.

Siv isn't just sarcastic, or just apathetic to everything, or just a rebellious person. There's a subtle layer to everything, but it's all wrapped in a clearly understandable line of logic. Therefore he is

Someone that can be understood as an individual

At this point in time, if you asked him how to deal with the woes of the world, he would probably shrug his shoulders and say, "laugh it off. Sometimes that's how it is." Whether this idea is something he will main remains to be seen. Therefore as our protagonist, he is

Someone who provides an interesting/new perspective on the themes of the story

Oh brother, it's time to go on a journey: Change and motivation

Now, another way that I break down characters is like this

Want - what they want on the surface

Lie - the belief that they have that prevents them from obtaining their need

Need - what they need to do in order to become better

So, let's break down Siv at this point.

Want: Siv wants to have control over his life, and to do what he wants in order to be happy

Lie: Siv tells himself that there's nothing he can do about his situation, and to just accept the world as it is

Need: Siv needs to learn to give a shit. About himself, and others. He needs to understand that while not everything in life can be controlled, the aspects that we do have power over, like our actions and relationships with others, are important.

Now, Siv doesn't actually go our searching or acting towards his want OR his need, as his lie tells him that he should just take what he can get, and dig in. So far in the story, there is still a distance between him and the reader and the world, because he can choose when to answer asks. He can choose when to confront questions.

So in order to really kick off the story, we have to take that choice away from him.

Enter: The Quill of Roost. Well, more like the quill enters Siv, as he eats it, and we soon discover that now, he can't really escape the questioning voices. Notice that Siv only did this in an effort to do something good, to be a hero. Maybe we'll come back to that later.

So now that we've forced Siv to leave his comfortable apathetic lifestyle, we can start to poke and probe him into a new person. He now has to listen to people more, both literally and metaphorically.

Siv's brother, Arcadius (also known as Larc, by Siv) is a foil, in that he's his opposite. He's not a criminal, he's the respected Captain of the Royal Guard. He's the golden boy, a hero in his own right. He generally respects authority and likes order. I mean, the first time you meet him, he talks like a "how do you do fellow kids" school teacher.

AHe's adored (and simped over) and has a loving family, and lives society's definition of a perfect life.

Yet, despite all of this, there is a deep saddness to Larc that is ever present. He seems to greatly sympathize with Asivus, and has a lot of (yet unseen) regret and guilt. Simiarlly to Siv, he constantly thinks about the unfairness/malice of life, but since Larc seems to have gotten the good end of the stick in life, Larc just convinces himself that any malice or negative emotions he might feel are unjustified, that they don't exist. That he's pathetic to think as such.

But of course, ignoring it doesn't make it go away, Larc still has these emotions, he's still not happy, but he's become to accustomed to them being there and not dealing with them, that's he's almost apathetic about it, similarlly to Siv.

He attempts to find happiness and satisfaction in authority, the the order the kingdom has to offer. He believes that the best thing he can do is be autonomous to whatever the world hands you, whether orders from a king or a father.

But despite this, he understands that deep down, this isn't making him happy. He still hasn't directly dealt with the regrets and guilts he has, even though he tries to hide it under "orders" and the like. He's too much of a coward to do so. Thus, he just concludes that he doesn't deserve to be happy.

Want: Larc wants someone to tell him what to do to be happy. He doesn't want conflict or confrontation, just peace.

Lie: When the life Larc lives doesn't clear his regrets, Larc tells himself that it's because he doesn't deserve to be happy. Thus the very least he could do is do as he's told, and someone like him doesn't deserve to talk back

Need: Larc needs to learn that he does deserve to be happy, but the road to doing so isn't smooth. He needs to learn to care about himself, and actually confront and deal with the problems in his life, instead of running away and being autonomous.

Therefore, Siv and Larc's outlooks on life have contridictions, theirfore their actions also oppose each other at times, and that conflict helps move the story, and make things more fun to watch.

Overtime, we can see their lies start to break down, based on their interactions with other characters, and in their attempt to even help themselves and each other. The autonomous nature and apathy they have starts to break down, whether despite, or because, of their wants and desires.

Now, Siv and Larc just on their own are cool, but with the way they're designed to highlight the theme, and affect the story based on their character driven actions, it makes them both interesting and perhaps even relatable characters, as they are

Someone whose wants and needs enhance the plot

And of course, this pattern isn't just present in the Hartell bros, but in pretty much every character (Except Hestu)

Hey what's that?/We have an older brother/You thought there were two but there is another: Character interaction is pretty cool

So. Siv has allowed himself to open up a little. He dares to be vulnerable for the sake of being happy. He's actually started to rekindle and create bonds, with characters like Larc, Zelda, Link, and Zavis.

But the thing about being open to change and love, can inevitably lead to pain. It's just a reality of life.

Enter: Didymos Astor. Just as the Champion gang comes together, Astor comes along to fuck things up.

On a meta level, Astor is an intriguing character simply because the expectation for him didn't amount to much to begin with. Age of Calamity Astor was just evil for....unstated evil reasons. Therefore writing him was practically just creating an entirely new oc.

So playing with the meta-ness of Astor, there's a lot of mystery to him that I maintained, but in such a way were I actually made sure to eventually answer those mysteries.

At first you don't know why he does what he does, but you do understand that his goal is to help Calamity Ganon rise. He also seemed absolutely confident in his decisions, he believes that his path is the best one.

Then slowly, information is revealed that allows you to understand Astor. And you can bet your bottom dollar that I purposefully did this in parallel with Siv slowly being hurt and betrayed by the people he once let himself be vulnerable with. The understanding of Astor comes with Siv's lack of understanding of the world around him.

Astor at this point in time, is basically a representation of listening to that little voice in your head. Both metaphorically, and quite literally. An "if you can't beat them, join them" attitude.

And of course, because this is HKU, he's not purely an evil villain, and he has an understandble line of logic in his actions, and even morals, as...different as they may be. I try to be very precise with my characters as I don't want to use backstory as an excuse for their actions, I fully intend to let their consequences play out, but at the same time I do want you to understand why someone does something besides just "he evil."

Astor used to have a close relationship with the old Queen of Hyrule, a literal symbol of hope for the kingdom given she possessed the power of Hylia. He himself wasn't a very important person, just some random orphan that probably only got a place at the castle because he was friends with the queen. But when she died, and the fate of Hyrule was apparantly sealed, so too did his hope. A much more depressing outcome of the "you can't control life so be apathetic" view that Astor shares with his brother.

He tried to apply logic to his situation, whether by trying to justify the end by saying that everyone in Hyrule is a fool, or a bad person, or by twisting the memories of his better days into something worse so that he doesn't have to feel as bad.

But of course, the TRUE and absolute reason he does all this, is to save Zelda, because as much as he would loathe to admit it, there's a part of him that still cares. If siding with the Calamity is the only way to save the last connection to the light of your life, then so be it. In a cruel world like Hyrule, why should he be able to enact just a sliver of justice in it.

And honestly he might be right. In the hundreds and thousands of timelines out there, I think there's only two were Zelda actually survives. Not very good chances *wink wink*

He couldn't care less if he looks like a villain as he does this. In fact, he would probably want to. He's been ignored his whole life, so some dramatic time in the spotlight to prove everyone wrong would be euphoric.

Want: Astor wants power over his life, even just a little bit. Just enough to rid the world's vermin, and save Zelda.

Lie: Hope is a lie and everything is doomed. We deserve to lose

Need: If Astor wants to be an actually good person, he needs to learn there are aspects and realities of life that you can't predict or control or assign logic to, yet despite that life is good anyways. Hope isn't always about winning, but about letting yourself live as best you can, and persevere.

Astor is a blast to write, because sometimes he's a stupid emo teen that you can bully for being called "Didymos," and then two minutes later he's a genuinely terrifying villain, and then two minutes after that you're feeling just even the slightest bit of sympathy for him. He's a cunning, cucking, emo bastard and if Larc didn't exist he might just be my favourtie character.

But another thing I love about writing Astor has to do with my fourth point on how I craft characters:

Someone that wouldn't be important to the story, without their bonds and relationships to the other characters

People being enjoyable on their own is great, but I think the best part about writing different characters is seeing how they fit together, like puzzle pieces. This again goes to my point about how no character is wasted, because a complete puzzle doesn't have extra pieces (except Hestu)

So let me just talk about my themes of trauma and how I use malice in HKU

I made this venn diagram awhile ago, but it's kinda....bad. Lmao. So let me summarize in a way that's coherant.

When you get traumatized by something, or something terrible happens to you, even if that experience gets solved, you will probably still have that memory for the rest of your life. That experience, and the consequences that it had, will be something you have with you for a long, long time, and the reality is that sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.

And so the question of HKU becomes...well what exactly do you do with it? Is it a strength, or a weakness, or do you pretend it doesn't exist?

Asivus is the protagonist of the story because it is from his perspective that we explore the most viewpoints and angles of the stories theme, not just through Siv himself, but from his perspective of those around him, and his relationships with them. Again, per the "no character wasted," because quite literally everyone has an opinion on the subject.

For now, let's just focus on Siv, Larc, and Astor.

Hartell Bros and using pictures to appeal to the neurodivergent asshat (AKA myself): The Journey to find your need

This is pretty much where these characters stand at the start of HKU.

Through the beginning arc, Siv becomes less apathetic and actually starts to care, about others, and himself. And eventually, he even follows the hope (ambition) to help Zelda save Hyrule. Now, at this point, Siv doesn't respect Astor, and he envies Larc, so he moves further away from their respective "places" and values. He allows himself to be vulnerable.

Meanwhile, circumstances threaten the most important thing in Larc's life, his family. These circimstances force Larc to go against his usually autonomous lifestyle, and actually act out of personal ambition, and try to take the helm on his life.

Finally, Astor has been in his spot for awhile, ever since he became set on helping to revive the Calamity. And over the first few arcs, nothing happens to him that forces him to change. He stays in his place, because his brother's relationships to him basically make him a moral compass of what they DON'T want to be. (Almost like...getting bad advice, and not taking it.) Astor at the moment is a stationary catalyst who tries to convince Siv to share his viewpoint. And this doesn't happen yet.

So its because of their interactions and relationships that their characters move to here:

HBut the thing about letting yourself be more autonomous, or vulnerable to other people, is that while it does have great benefits, you still might get hurt by other people, so you need to learn how to handle these situations properly.

Asivus does not handle this properly.

When Zavis betrays him, and makes him look like a fool, Siv books it out of the vulnerability department as fast as he can. When Link seemingly shows Siv that the future is broken, and that the world is unfair and out to get him, Siv detaches himself completely from being content (apathetic) and when Siv see he can't rely on anyone to save him, even Zelda, then he moves further into control.

So yeah, Siv's character quite literally wouldn't exist without his relationship to others, and they, him.

Meanwhile, Larc is forces even further into the control and ambition department by being turned into the literal emodiment of ambition and power: a Hollow. Thanks Astor! So for a brief amount of time, he lives at the extreme ends of purple and red, and once he recovers, he desperately wants to move back towards the blue and yellow areas because it wasn't exactly the best of experiences for him.

So now Larc is no longer autonomous to the world around him, and after he is truly revealed as a traitor thanks to being kidnapped and almost dying and the world finding out about everything the gang's been up to, Larc really cannot return to his "following orders" lifestyle. He's on the edge of being where he needs to be, but he still is of the mindset that he doesn't deserve to be happy. So while he allows himself to be in control of his choices, and to follow and protect his family, he rejects hope for himself, and dips into just not caring about himself.

Finally, Astor. His change starts small, but the fact they he shifted at all when he's spent so much of the story as immovable is significant. In a combination of not liking Siv's extremes, and actually expressing hesitation the more he interacts with Zelda, Astor moves out of the yellow and just barely dips into the side of ambition, and the desire to actually change a seemingly unchangeable situation. But it's just barely, and he still sides with Ganon.

So thus, after all those interactions, the Hartell Bros stand around here:

And where will they go from here? Who knows! I'll give you a hint thought...things are really looking Up for Siv (wink wink).

The beauty is that you don't even know if anyone will ever truly live in that perfect harmony that the middle offers, because let me assure you, the people that DO live in that perfect middle, are currently dead. The movement toward that center is a positive character arc, but will everyone achieve a positive character arc? People can enter there sure, but the hard part is staying, of keeping those ideals. And Hylia...don't even get me start on how Link, Zelda, Zavis, and everyone else fits into this, I'd be at here for another six hours.

And also, I think my little graph is a good example of my other themes on mortality and how it's not black and white. There's no extreme good end, and extreme bad end; being a good person is a harmony of the different difficulties every day has to offer.

And then ALL OF THIS, I hide under the guise of mystery, and plot, and humour, and shitposts; evil soup, hot sword people, disaster gays, giant robots, cucking, ninjas, knights, musicians and seers...Just a constantly battle between not being too preachy and not going too off the rails, I myself am constantly trying to find that center harmony as I write HKU.

But make no mistake, this is probably the most fun thing I've written...ever. It kicks my ass sometimes, but it's so....I don't even know how to describe it, it's just great. There just so many things that I have to think about to deal with the story and the characters and it's work but I'm really passionate about it so it's FUN and I love it and I will ramble about it again one day because, fuck man...

Writing is badass.

[countryroads]

check in tag game! thank you emily for tagging me 😁😁 @rosefinchs

tagging any mutual or follower who wants to do it and if you do please please tag me, because i am very nosy 😄

no pressure to do it as i’m not tagging anyone specific but PLEASE if you are like “she didn’t tag me i can’t do this” please know you absolutely can and i want you to

why did you choose your url?

- me and emily made this blog together and we had been obsessed with the song and even made a little playlist for it that mostly ended up just being our favorite driving through the country songs. anyways we were like YES let’s see if it’s open and it WAS so we snatched it. she’s moved to another blog now but i still love the url!

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

-nope! i get really scared about posting to the wrong blog so i just don’t have sideblogs. i also would be making them for like specific fandoms or whatever but bc my hyperfixations change so frequently i don’t wanna bother with it lol

how long you’ve been on tumblr?

- i joined in uhhhhhhh. 2013 i think BUT i made a new blog in 2016 and then i made this one in 2018

do you have a queue tag?

- yes lol my entire blog is a queue basically. it’s q because i hate typing out category tags and it’s the fastest lmao

why did you start your blog in the first place?

- me and em were into the cottage core thing a bunch when it first came out and thus made a blog for it but i have tried to move away from it as a blog theme

why did you choose your icon?

- felt cute in the photo and didn’t know what else to make it lol

why did you choose your header?

-blog name is countryroads and that was a photo i took of some country roads

what’s your post with the most notes?

-i think it’s uhhhhhhh. i think it’s my “have you ever laid with cat sleeping in the sun?” post or smth. idk it was a few years ago

how many mutuals do you have?

-idk exactly how many but i love making mutuals ! i have quite a few i believe

how many followers do you have?

- last i checked it was 15,904 i think but it may have changed!

how many people do you follow?

- 114. i like being able to go through my whole dashboard so i unfollow blogs every once in a while

have you ever made a shitpost?

- of course lol

how often do you use tumblr each day?

- often lmao. i like checking my friends blogs and stuff and getting through the dash. i haven’t this past week as i’ve been camping but i’m back at it

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

- no lol this is a thing ppl do?

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

-spite and anger. if i was going to reblog a post and then a bunch of people spam that i will see if i can delete the addition and if i can’t i won’t reblog it.

do you like tag games?

yesssss i LOVE tag games please tag me in themmmmmm even if we don’t know each other

do you like ask games?

- yes although i haven’t done one in a while. i might soon though lol

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

- charlie doebt for SURE is tumblr famous. they are my tumblr famous bestie.

do i have a crush on a mutual?

i used to but i don’t anymore! i currently have a little friend crush on a mutual but no actual crushes

tysm for tagging me em <3<3<3

[soopersara]

Thank you for the tag @brightboisterousbananas!

1. Why did you chose your url?

Because it was already my username on AO3 and FFN (and I used it there because it was the username a former... uh... unfortunate acquaintance made up for me on a video game, and I couldn’t think of anything else when I signed up for FFN).

2. Any side blogs?

A few? I have @soopersokka for fanart, @sooperwriting for general writing posts (that I barely use), and @majorleaguecuckooclock in case I ever decide to branch out into other fandoms (extremely doubtful). And I guess I’m also a mod on the @zkbigbang blog, but that’s not mine. 

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since January 2019, apparently,

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope, my queue is almost never tagged. Tagging my original posts already takes too much time 🙃

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly? I heard about a Zutara discord server, and to get into it, you had to provide a Tumblr so that the mods could check that you weren’t a troublemaker before joining. 

6. Why did you choose your icon?

Once upon a time, I considered the possibility of doing art for every chapter of A Tale of Ice and Smoke (spoiler: I did not. I would have been a much better artist by now if I had, but I’d probably still be stuck on like... Chapter 15 or something). My icon was the art I did for the prologue before I gave up on the chapter illustration idea. 

7. Why did you choose your header?

I had picked out my blog’s color scheme already, and of all my paintings that I have hanging around my house, the pink and purple tree one was the least clash-y with the colors. 

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

It’s gotta be this one

9. How many mutuals do you have?

🤷‍♀️ A bunch, probably. I don’t know for sure.

10. How many followers do you have?

1458

11. How many people are you following?

207

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I posted an edit of Kronk from The Emporer’s New Groove with Zuko’s zigzaggy map from Book 1 of ATLA. Does that count? Also a post about Katara making people-sicles, and one about Haru shaving his pornstache, and one about Iroh making THIS face 

yeah, I think I’ve shitposted a bit. But they’re mild shitposts.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Probably more than I should.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Never anything that lasted more than a day, if you can even count the few illogical assholes who’ve come after me for... let’s see... giving Katara too much agency in a headcanon, writing a long-ass slowburn and tagging it with the endgame ship (THE HORROR), and having posts about my works scheduled to come out during a fandom event I wasn’t really participating in. 

15. How do you feel about “You need to reblog this” posts?

That’s the single fastest way to guarantee that I won’t touch that post with a ten foot pole.

16. Do you like tag games?

I like them! I probably forget to do a bunch of them, though 😬

17. Do you like ask games?

Yeah! I’d say that the same disclaimer about tag games applies, but I do try to schedule the ask lists when I have time to respond, and I don’t usually get any asks (or I’ll get like... one ask total)

18. Which of your Tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

👀 Are any of you famous? 

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope! Luckily, I got over my last crush about six years ago, and I haven’t had one since, especially not online.

I’ll tag @cobraonthecob, @firelxdykatara​, @rideboldlyride​, and anyone else who wants to answer some questions! Also, no pressure to those I tagged.

[fiadhaisteach]

About me

Thanks for the tag, @oxygenforthewicked​! 🤗

1: Why did you choose your url?

When I decided to dump @/SiberianSpring (just the url... my City of Heroes main character will always have iterations running around), I went back to an older internet user name I'd abandoned way back when. I grabbed Aisteach on AO3, then found it wasn't available on Tumblr. Oops. 😝 A little Gaeilge wordplay and I ended up with FiadhAisteach.

Fiadh, depending on context, can be a noun or adjective, independent or prefixed and has several meanings, including: deer, wild, wilderness, outsized, large, respect, and esteem.

Aisteach is an adjective meaning strange, weird, queer, surprising, peculiar, odd, and/or wonderful.

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

Just @live-creatively, where I dump “all the creative/crafty/inspiration guides & how-to posts & re-blogs [I find] so I have some hope of finding them again.” Other than that I just dump everything in this one spot... I barely remember to use @live-creatively; I can’t imagine trying to keep up with a host of side blogs.

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

Technically since 2014, but there was a two-year gap in there when I was inactive. Then I resurfaced when I needed to connect with DA fanfic writers & artists, and here we are.

4: Do you have a queue tag?

Yes. rifts in the queue

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I had a few friends from LJ days who popped their heads onto BookFace long enough to direct me to their blogs here.

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I change it up everyone once in a while, but it’s usually just one of my photographs. Right now it’s a monarch butterfly photo I took, at Monarch Grove Sanctuary, on my honeymoon.

7: Why did you choose your header?

Again, I change it up every few months, and it’s frequently one of my own photos. This one is obviously a spiderweb on a small branch. It’s damp with mist from South Falls at Silver Falls State Park.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

Grandma Kathy’s Hard Toffee Recipe (I used JetBlackCode.com to find out). *does a little happy chair dance*

9: How many mutuals do you have?

145, if I counted right according to tumblr, though I’m sure some of them aren’t active anymore.

10: How many followers do you have?

264.

11: How many people do you follow?

881. Believe it, or not, I curate my dash quite meticulously. Even so, my dashboard is a wonderful, chaotic mess, & I love it. Many of these are inactive friends that have moved on to other social media sites, but I refuse to “unfriend/unfollow” here or are organization's blogs that I like to follow for their news/updates. I also have 50, or so, blogs that I “Get Notifications” for, so even when I’m distracted by other shinies I don’t miss too much.

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

Probably... possibly. It depends on your definition of shitpost.

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

Probably way too much. It’s where I turn when “I’m on hold on the phone, while also waiting for a customer to actually ask a question so I can’t actually get work accomplished,” which happens way more frequently than you might think. I also pop over when I’ve got just a minute before something else is starting and I can’t let myself focus, but I know someone else will be interrupting my “TumblrTime,” so I'm not “wasting time.”

On non-work days & evenings... I’m on & off constantly, between fics and/or chapters of long fics.

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

No. I try to stay out of drama and I tend to run from fights. Confrontation is challenging for me, even online.... hell, even friendly confrontation is nerve-wracking. Though I do my best, in that case. Life is too short, and we all have better ways of spending our time.

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Fastest way to get me to NOT repost something. Every once in a very long while I might reblog one, but it’s despite the enjoinder, not because of it.

16: Do you like tag games?

YES. I love tag games. Sometimes I’m bad about doing them in a timely fashion, but I love them.

17: Do you like ask games?

Also yes. Though I’m not great about sending them, I love reading about people’s OCs... and other people!

18.Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I definitely have platonic crushes. I love all of my mutuals and followers, and I’m grateful to have you all around. 🤗💖

I think I’m late to this so... tagging anyone who wants to! (and tag me so I can read your responses!)

[botanyshitposts]

Have you ever read the Mars trilogy by KS Robinson? It has heaps of long passages describing lichens gene-edited to be able to grow on mars, it rules. But also have you ever thought about whether plants like lichens could survive on other planets?

ok first of all i will clarify that lichens aren’t plants but symbiotic associations of fungi and green algae, and this is important for me to say because i dont know how to tell you this but lichens are perfectly capable of surviving in the vacuum of space. there have been multiple tests with just putting The Lads into space (in one instance on the outside of the ISS) to see what happens and they just. survive? like there was one study where they had them in a russian satellite for ten days and when they came down they were either fine or recovered within three days of coming back to earth? there have been other studies too. coincidentally i made a shitpost about this about a year ago that has more sources if you’re interested in......uh.....the potential for invasion of other planets by The Lads. 

no gene editing required; to survive with that kind of symbiosis, apparently you have to be tough as hell. downside is that lichens can grow incredibly slowly to the point where they can be used in archaeology to date large exposed structures (this is slightly off topic but the lichens used to date stuff are mostly crustose lichens, some lichens can grow way faster; consider the common species Lobaria pulmonaria, lungwort, which is known to engulf whole ass trees. it’s also one of the fastest growing known lichens, with some individuals being recorded as over doubling their size over the course of a particular three-year study. to be fair, this still says a lot about what’s considered ‘fast’ lichen growth). there are also lichens adapted for antarctic and mountainous conditions; the species that survived being absolutely blasted by the unforgiving nothingness of space in the russian study (Aspicilia fruticulosa) are from the highlands of central spain. they’re literally everywhere. it’s very chaotic but yeah, in short they really beat us with the evolution game in my opinion

[annemarie-whitlockswan]

Why yes, this is a shitpost

((Writing Exercise: Write people as if they were days of the week) That isn’t what I ended up doing, I got way off track but that’s what inspired this)

Sunday- I suppose its all due to personal belief that I would make Tom Hiddleston Sunday. Why you might ask? Simple. Personally, I view Sunday as one of the best days of the week. It’s a not workday, it’s a day that I fully abuse. Sundays I wake up whenever I feel like it. I make myself a cup of my favorite tea and sip it at my leisure. I stay, for the most part in my pj's, and don’t leave the house unless its dire. I make breakfast and eat that painstakingly slow because I can. Then I leave dishes in the sink for the next day knowing that I’ll hate myself for it later, but I do it because I can. I laze around the house, probably reading or taking a nap after only being awake for two hours, maybe watching my husband on tv idk. Treat myself to no end and I’m pulling out all the stops. Hair mask? Yes. Face mask? Duh. Mani-Pedi? You read my mind. Glass of wine? I’ve got a whole bottle. Nice extra scolding hot bath, the burn is phenomenal. Dinner, pasta is what I’ll end up making. Then bed. Yes, it is the best day.

Monday- Despite the universal opinion that Mondays are unequivocally the worst, I don’t mind it. I’m really a bit fond of Monday. Thus, making Monday, Taylor Swift. Listen, anyone who doesn’t like Taylor Swift will undoubtedly disagree with this, but I can’t be arsed to care. She’s a gem and I love her. Monday is the day of opportunity. Monday makes me feel like I can conquer the world. This is the day I feel the most motivated to get my shit together and get shit done. I’m a force to be reckoned with and you cannot tell me otherwise. I can guarantee you that my productivity goes up by a solid 50% on this day. Mondays also make me feel oddly colorful. Not that I’m not a colorful person but it just makes me feel extra bubbly and happy. Idk

Tuesday- Harry Styles. The longest day of the week, in the best way. This day is never-ending, this is another day that I get so much shit done. Then inevitably have nothing left to do because I get up at 7:00 am, do everything that needs to be done, look at the clock and its 7:03 am. So much opportunity, so much to do. Not bad day, just a long one and a nice one if you do it right. Its also a pretty steady day, calm in all the best ways.

Wednesday- I CAN’T EVEN THINK OF SOMEONE TO BE WEDNESDAY! WHY?! BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE WEDNESDAY. IT IS THE WORST DAY EVER, IT’S THE LONGEST AND THE FASTEST DAY EVER IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY. YOU WAKE UP SINGLE AND FREE YOU BLINK ITS THIRTY YEARS LATER, YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH YOUR THIRD CHILD, THE BILLS ARE DUE, THE CHILDREN ARE HUNGRY AND ALL YOU’VE GOT IS HALF A GRAPE AND A PIG TOUNGE AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY. I’m sorry.

Thursday- Daniel Radcliffe in that one movie. Listen, as much as I love this man, he looks rough-in ‘Guns of Akimbo’ and i understand that on a spiritual level. Friday gets me feeling like the most cracked-out bum on this earth. If I look rough, I feel even rougher. I probably smell like I was pulled six times backwards through a dumpster and I’m being drUG BY MY WEAVE through a landfill. Living on a prayer, someone else’s backwash cup of coffee, half a crushed Adderall pill that I snorted up my ass, six 5hour energy and a line of cocaine. This isn’t the prettiest day.

Friday- Tom Holland. Look I know that there is already a Tom, but Tom’s are great, so I’ll keep ‘em. Fridays are wonderful because you just get to chill and be as weird and free as possible. Fridays make me feel like I’m walking on sunshine and vibrating with joy. Nothing can bring me down, I’m unnecessarily happy about everything, everyone I run into probably wants to punch me in the mouth and piss in my cheerios. I dunno Fridays make me happy and content, so it’s a good day. Fridays make me feel good.

Saturday- Saturdays are warm and fuzzy and safe. Therefore, I must make them Robert Pattinson. He’s everything to me and I never expected to feel this amount of care for a human being I have never once met. To me, Saturdays are road trips with the one you love. Being able to look over at them and feel like ‘oh shit they are really mine…wild’. It’s knowing without a doubt the one you love loves you just as much and feeling secure. It is having a bad day and going out for ice cream with the person you feel safest with knowing that they’re someone you can be wholly yourself with. It’s the totally cheesy feeling of waking up in the morning after having a bad night and rolling over to see the person who means the whole world to you as the sunlight peeks in through the gaps in the curtain. Idk I’m a sap. This is a happy and content day for me. I don’t know what else to say. It just makes me deliriously happy.

Who would you make Wednesday?

((A/N: I know most of the actors on here are British, but hey, my brain said so) also I’ll be deleting my blogs when I’m famous so y’all can’t expose me)

[s1lentsnip3r-a]

SO. I’ve been wanting to make one of these for a LONG TIME, but i’m horrifically bad at making these sort of sappy posts because i always forget to mention a few people when I do - but I have to do this because i’m bored and it’s 2 am and i can’t sleep.

First of all, thank you all so much for following me on all my sonic blogs. I had a rough time getting acclimated into the sonic rp fandom at first because years and years of ‘bad sonic ocs’ honestly kind of scared me away from the roleplaying side on tumblr, but then the more i dabbled into it the more i started to like it. I ended up finding people who wrote the characters better than the games themselves, and OC’s better than anything I could possibly find on something like deviantart or... god forbid any other notorious furry site.

So I wanted to make this post as a big thank-you to several members of the community who’ve made my time spent here a fucking blast and have given me all the encouragement I need to continue writing and developing the characters I write on all these blogs. I also wanna take a moment to mention a couple of people I think inspire me to stay in this community? Because good god, some of you are fucking incredible.

Mentions below the cut.

@dieviskais / @solfading & @ofsoleanna (AND ALL OF P.P’S OTHER BLOGS) & @exignium (AND ALL OF CWOW’S OTHER BLOGS) @two-fluffy-tails & literally just the entire battle bus server bc wow there are a lot of u. : Thank u all so much for providing me with a nice place to hang out and talk about serious and dumb stuff with, thank u for all the laughs and moments we shared together on call, and sincerely thank u for all the fun fucking threads we’ve had as well as the shitposts we’ve endured together. I love each and every one of u, don’t u forget it.

@antibadnik & @fortruechaos & @chaoslent : rain, ren, aura, every time we interact with each other its either the heaviest shit or something completely fucking wack, and honestly, i’m all for it. All of the threads I’ve had with yall have been an absolute blast to write and i’m so happy I get to spend time with you all in the little group chat we have. I know Aura hasn’t been around but i’m still gonna shittalk her and say that you three (aura included u can FIGHT ME) have writing that honestly makes me so fucking elated to read every time i see you guys on my dash. you all write so gd well and i can’t help but go through our threads every now and again and find things that i love about the way you portray your characters. thank u all so much for existing.

@pistolbitten : Tycho gets one all to himself because i said so. Dude, you and I have been writing for a LONG ASS TIME. Been a few years now and you and I have seriously been plotting some of the most dopest shit i could ever imagine. A lot of the times when I plot things they dont usually happen because the plot is either forgotten about or processed and refined into something completely different, but every time you and i think about shit we just HOP ON THAT and start milking every last bit of it out and honestly? I fucking love that. You have such good writing and the way you’ve written every character i’ve seen you write has been absolutely incredible and honestly I’m honored I even get to call you a friend. You’re such a talented dude and I really hope I can meet you IRL one day so we can just hang out and shitpost all over the place. Love ya’ dude, stay strong <3

@masterprotector / @skyfcx : Aaron, aaron, aaron. where do i even fucking begin with u. You mother fucker. You and I have such good history writing characters that mesh so fucking well with each other. Spark and Rosalina? Whisper and rosalina? Whisper and Knuckles? Proxy and Knuckles? NEO AND ROSALINA? TIKAL AND KNUCKLES? LIKE DUDE. You write so fucking well and every time I see you active on my dash it’s like a breath of fresh air. I’m so glad you’re in this community because you shine a light on me every time I feel like reading something that’ll either tear me apart or make me laugh. You write  your characters so damn well and I’m extremely glad you consider me that much of a friend. Thank u for indulging me on all of my ridiculous shit <33

@chaosbcrne & @heroquills : You two are like two peas in a fucking pod. I love the dynamic between sonic and shadow and i love how much you two have developed both characters since I first started following you. Seeing you both on my dash always makes me happy because you two always seem so eager to contribute to dash shenanigans and add another layer of icing onto an already sweet cake. Having you in this community is a fucking blast and I’m really thankful yall exist. Much love to the two of you and your excellent takes on both characters <3

OKAY MY FUCKING EYES ARE GETTING TIRED NOW so i’m gonna end it off here, but just know that if we’re mutuals i appreciate you so very fucking much. If I had the patience I’d tag every other one of you and include you in a nice long list of people i’ve come to admire in this community, but for now just accept my fucking love because yall are the reason i’m even still in this community at all. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU’VE INDULGED ME IN THE PAST CHANCES ARE I LOVE YOU.

nevermind fuck it i’m tagging a few of yall i can think of right off the bat AGAIN IM SORRY IF I FORGET ANY BUT LIKE... ITS 2 AND IM TIRED PLS DONT BE OFFENDED

@team-phantom @fishing-purple-cat @lnfinitc @lightdash @lunafading @chaosblcst @wrld-heroes @enrichedheart @rosehammcr @projectlightfox @the-twinventors @anaerchy @atangledfate @debasxrr @fastest-hedgy-sonic @glittcrngcld @hoverskates @xochimili @bunniedrabbot @ncvabcrn @two-evil-tails

OKAY THATS IT GOODNIGHT FOLKS. LOVE U

[softupshur]

🌈

Kate, my sweet, hello!!!

You’re are an absolute delight to be around, a wizard at shitposts to the point I have a folder dedicated to cryptic yet hilarious things you’ve said over the course I’ve known you, and one of the fastest improving artists I’ve ever met! I love hearing about your ocs, spider facts, and odd historical fashion with you. Keep on rocking, my dude

[argothiathedreamer]

So basically, my Greed shitpost currently has the second most notes of any post I’ve ever made and it hit 1000 notes in less than 48 hours.

Probably around 36 hours actually.

Right now it’s sitting pretty at 1140+ notes.

The post I made that currently reigns as the one with the most notes took... a year to reach the 1k mark. So this is certainly my fastest rising post.

[spacemcclain]

Ok so for the 'tell me how you feel anon' thing all of them but 🍂 and❄️

🌞 - i really like your blog!

Thank you- we always out here looking for that Good content

🌙 - you’re really cute! 

tHNAK YOU SO MCUH!!! ✨ - i love seeing you on my dash!☄️ - we don’t talk, but i wish we did!

Literally my DM’s are always open so hmu, anon, anytime! I’m not the fastest responder, but I do get around to it!

🌸 - you’re really sweet!

Man, I try my best, yk?

💫 - you’re super talented!

I don’t know what I’ve ever done that makes you feel this way?? Unless you meant my shitposts?? LMAO regardless, thank you- I’m glad you think so!

⭐️ - you have a nice aesthetic!

It varies but it’s usually centered around space and dark vs. pastel coloursI have an AES blog but like? It’s not crazy active, I’ll add some aesthetic posts on it from time to time?

🌹 - i have a crush on you!

anoHTER ONE OF THESE WHERE ARE YA’LL COMING FROM???

💐 - i wish i could take care of you when you’re sad!

I appreciate it, yo

💥 - you seem a little bit intimidating!

hhHHhhHhHh Okay so you’re not the first person to tell me this but?? I’m sorry??? I swear I’m a mess and 99.6% of the time I’m sitting here in a large sweatshirt (that’s probably not mine) and boxers just laughing at RIP vine compilations so I don’t think I’m much different than the general community LMAO

🔥 - you need to stop being so hard on yourself!

Man, I would if I knew how

🌈 - i think i really like you…

hHHhHHhhhHHhH

Send me Emojis!

[recentanimenews]

16 Strange, Obscure, and Fictional Sports in Anime

You know the sports anime formula. Plucky kid tries a new thing for the first time and immediately falls in love with it. He joins his school’s club, only to discover that it’s nowhere near the powerhouse it used to be. In a grueling training arc, he develops camaraderie with his teammates, and together they work to beat their rival school and realize their dream of going to Koushien.

But say you’re not a fan of baseball, basketball, or soccer. What sports anime do you watch then? Besides, what even is a sports anime? Figuring out what is and isn’t a sports anime might be like trying to decide what is and isn’t a sandwich, but if you’re willing to stretch your definitions a little, there’s a something for everyone. Swimming, tennis, kendo, you name it, it’s there. Heck, even a few made-up sports for good measure.

Table tennis

Put the director of a beloved anime in charge of an anime about table tennis, and what do you get? That’s right, we’re talking Scorching Ping Pong Girls. Yes, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood director Yasuhiro Irie went on to make an extremely thirsty ping pong anime. Oh, and I guess Masaaki Yuasa’s Ping Pong: The Animation is a pretty good coming-of-age story too.

Anime: Scorching Ping Pong Girls, Ping Pong: The Animation

Horse racing

I don’t think there’s much debate on the status of horse racing considering equestrian’s presence in the Olympics. Still, it’s not often you see anime about it. A while back, the Japan Racing Association sponsored a special episode of Mr. Osomatsu that was exactly what you’d expect from a JRA episode of Mr. Osomatsu: completely cursed. Maybe we’d better bank on the horse girl anime slated for next year.

Anime: Mr. Osomatsu, Uma Musume Pretty Derby (2018)

Sidecar racing

Frankly, I had no idea motorcycle sidecar racing was a thing until TWOCAR came along. Turns out the sport is pretty ridiculous. Take single-rider motorcycle racing, add a squirming passenger, and you get this bonkers sport where rider and passenger work together to make sharp turns as efficiently as possible. It’s about as risky as it sounds; people have legit died attempting this stuff. May the anime girls keep their pigtails far away from the wheels, I say.

Anime: TWOCAR

Pro wrestling

If the contents of my Twitter feed are any indication, pro wrestling is silly, badass, and most of all, extremely anime. As far as I’m concerned, anime and wrestling are about on par with each other as sources of reaction gifs. And really, why else does anyone watch anime? For 100% serious no-fun-allowed “good” storytelling? Nah, sounds fake.

Anime: Tiger Mask W, Kick-Heart, we do not speak of Wanna be the Strongest in the World

Figure skating

You want an outrageously popular anime about cute boys on knife shoes facing off against each other? Boy, do I have the anime for you! King of Prism is hardly an accurate depiction of figure skating, but it does the “plucky protagonist joins a school club” sports anime formula more faithfully than any other skating anime out there, so what the hey, we’ll call it a sports anime. Besides, if Prince of Tennis could cause the dinosaur extinction, why can’t a figure skating anime include dragons and tornadoes?

Anime: King of Prism, Ginban Kaleidoscope

Ballroom Dancing

Who’s to say ballroom isn’t a real sport? It’s sweaty and draining, and on top of that, you have to pretend you’re not dying even when you most definitely are. Although on the surface it looks like a world of frilly gowns and glitter, ballroom requires an absurd degree of athleticism and team trust. It’s a sport.

Anime: Welcome to the Ballroom

Cheer

Put aside the image of girls in short skirts and think about the acrobatics involved in cheerleading. It’s a sport that requires everyone to trust that nobody will drop them on their heads. Cheer teams have to be tight, just the same as in any other team sport. This is where real friendship is born.

Anime: Cheer Boys!!

Karuta

The Japanese card game karuta probably isn’t the first thing you’d describe as a sport. The game’s objective is simple: a speaker reads one half of a well-known poem, and the players look for the card with its second half. Just memorizing poems like you do in lit class, right? Not when you get good at it. At the upper levels of karuta, the game becomes a contest of reflexes and agility as players take any split-second advantage they can find.

Anime: Chihayafuru

Parkour

While it’s not technically called such in-show, the extreme sport depicted in Prince of Stride is about as close as you’ll get to parkour in anime. Competitors participate in a relay race through an urban obstacle course, leaping over walls and traversing complicated routes. Next thing you know, they’ll be Naruto running through shopping malls. It’s pretty great.

Anime: Prince of Stride: Alternative

Butt wrestling

This far down the list, we’re getting into some pretty questionable fictional sports. Keijo!!!!!!!! is a sports anime about what’s basically wrestling with butts and boobs. At one point, a character summons the powers of a thousand derrieres with the Gate of Bootylon, which is about all you need to know if you’ll like the show or not. There’s some real rip-roarin’ fun to be had here, I’m tellin’ ya.

Anime: Keijo!!!!!!!!

Tank battles

Do you like cute anime girls? Do you like military hardware? Do you like the sports anime formula? If you answered yes to any of those questions, GaruPan is for you. There’s nothing quite so fun as watching armored tanks shoot the crap out of each other, it turns out. Have I mentioned I love anime?

Anime: GIRLS und PANZER

Plamo battles

Not a fan of tanks? Why not plastic models! Live your childhood fantasies of your toy robots punching each other out with Gundam Build Fighters. That’s right, Gundam is so heavily merchandised there’s now merchandise for its merchandise. How great is that? If you want some cute anime girls go with your toy battles, try Frame Arms Girl as well.

Anime: Gundam Build Fighters, Frame Arms Girl

Robotics

Maybe you were that kid in high school who didn’t play sports, but dedicated all their time to the robotics club. Worry not, anime’s got you covered. While Gunpla and tanks as sport might require a stretch of the imagination, Robomasters is an actual event that’s been popular in China lately. If equipping drones with random features sounds fun to you, you might like RoboMasters the Animation - provided you can speak either Japanese or Mandarin, since it hasn’t been licensed anywhere.

Anime: RoboMasters the Animation

Quiz bowl

Okay, maybe you were even nerdier than the robotics kids and spent your time in quiz bowl. There’s one for you, too! In Fastest Finger First, high school kids train to be the first to smash that buzzer. Every millisecond counts in a battle of wits where the fighters are equally matched, and that in itself can make quiz bowl as intense as a sport.

Anime: Fastest Finger First

Extreme cheating

I trust that none of you specialized in this sport in high school, but let’s say you did dabble in less-than-ethical test-taking behavior. How far did you go? Ever release wasps from your headphones to distract other test-takers and set the grading curve? Sneak in cybernetic contact lenses? Take out the competition by firing pencil lead at them? No? Well, that’s disappointing. Just think how fun exams could be if you turned test-taking into an extreme sport.

Anime: Cheating Craft

The Ultimate Sport

Teekyu has thus far blessed us with nine seasons of it hyper-compressed glory. Ostensibly about a tennis club, the actual sport in Teekyu is everything you can possibly think of except tennis. It’s a sports anime where you are the protagonist, the show itself is the rival, and the sport in question is extremely high-level shitposting. Now that’s my kind of sport. Let’s get to that training arc, shall we?

Anime: Teekyu

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Micchy is an enormous dweeb who tries and fails to hide her anime obsession behind a skating otaku facade. Follow her on Twitter @Liuwdere for more vaguely anime-related content. 

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com