#this is really really funny but also its 8am and seeing this as soon as i woke nearly fucking killed me

[butcher--bird]

"Hey. I got something for Spyke. A lil prezzy. Sicne I heard he liked meat andall."

*holds out a massive, raw, dripping chunk of bright-red steak, supported from underneath with both hands like a large heavy box. Its place of origin within the cow (or whatever the Splatoon equivalent of cattle is) is dubious, but probably passable as human-tier (or Urchin-tier) food if cooked, assuming it's even beef. Whatever it is, it's fresh, the kind of oversaturated red typically relegated to edgy Undertale OCs clashing against the soft, milky white of a thick outer ring of fat. A cross-section of bone sits firmly in the middle, a shallow divot of pinkish marrow visible within the larger, skateboard wheel sized circle of white. The thing resembles a live-action Flintstones prop, or the kind of cartoonishly exaggerated steak drawn by someone prompted to doodle the word "meat" in 30 seconds.*

"I found this thing and thuoght he might like it. Please give it to him!! <3"

*eyes the nearby table, a small and flimsy ordeal constructed from cheaply-veneered chipboard. Sloppily painted with translucent woodstain in a warmish mud brown, rubbery brushstrokes visible and edges left streaky and bare, the thing looks absolutely pathetic, almost pitiable. The entire table is pocked and marred with dents, scratches and cigarette burns, the legs held in by bulky Allen screws, one of them being propped up with several stacked chunks of torn cardboard. It looks wobbly, the kind of thing you wouldn't place a coffee on, and it better befits a suburban curb or a pondscum-choked roadside ditch than the room we stand in. Not worth repairing, not even worth burning due to the chemicals in the stain. Just a cumbersome piece of trash that would only be employed by the truly desperate, its one purpose better served by a stack of sturdy boxes.*

"I'll just set it down over there, okey? Thanksies!!"

*without waiting for a reply, I begin approaching the sorry excuse for a table, shuffling along straight-kneed like a penguin, my back and arms tensed and straining, yet just barely managing to support the weight of the printer sized hunk of meat, weighing similarly to a portly toddler, the kind usually seen holding a melty soft-serve in a Costco parking lot (or perhaps a MakoMart). My posture resembles a parody of a Buckingham Palace guard, but I maintain a strained, pressed-lips white person smile as I scooch over to the wobbly wooden affair, face red and jaw clenched but determined to not look like a wimp.*

*SCHLAP!!*

*in a swift and gleeful motion, relieved of my meaty burden, I drop the steak straight down upon the table, removing my hands from underneath it and allowing gravity to do the rest. Unsurprisingly, about a second after the slab of flesh makes contact with wood, slamming down upon a tabletop barely large enough to contain it, the table snaps in half, sharply bowing inwards as the top breaks clean in two, then being smashed flat again as it hits the floor, the legs shooting off with corners still attached. The table has been crushed. Bits and splinters of wood lay strewn about like a beaver just finished filming a mukbang, the blast radius of wooden confetti spanning about a metre. The steak, far more durable than the table, sits fully intact upon the now-legless tabletop halves, a dappling of reddish juices and milky fat droplets upon the floor the only indicator that a fall has even occured. After a momentary flinch, hands reflexively held up in the Thriller pose, I quickly take a breath, regain composure and turn to face you once more, my cheerful grin returning in an instant as if a mental light switch was flicked back on.*

"Oops! Sorry!~"

*After a few awkward moments of silence, I skitter away excitedly with a tumblrina giggle-squee combo, leaving you alone with the floor-steak and the splintery aftermath of a slasher film written by a pine tree, no trace of my presence remaining in the room but the mess, the smell of a dingy Claire's, and a distant ruckus of barking dogs (or whatever the Splatoon equivalent of a dog is) stirred up by the ear-piercing Krakatoa of roughly 45 lbs of raw meat slamming into a hardwood floor like an apocalyptic meteor.*

oh my fucinkg GOD.

this is the 2nd 'fanfic' i got in my askbox this week. when are you guys gonna start uploading to ao3?

[avatarmerida]

Walking Home

This is inspired by @buggachat’s Bakery AU. I hope this is okay because I love this idea so much and I loved the winery arc. I wrote this assuming Adrien also lives at the bakery, though I don’t know.

——————————————————————————

“Okay no, no first of all they did NOT kick us out because I spilled. But IF did they did then that’s your fault!” Marinette exclaimed as the four of them left the restaurant.

“I didn’t mean that time,” clarified a bubbly Adrien as he ran ahead. “I meant when you kept turning the glasses into microphones and trying to get everyone to sing when they were still pretty full.”

“No! No! No!” she insisted, running up to him and giving him a gently tap on shoulder. “It was because you kept making chicken noises and they were awful!”

“They were amazing.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever heard a chicken,” she said smugly as she attempted to suppress her laughter at the memory. “It was so high pitched.”

“Bawk bawk bawk,” said Adrien quietly. Seeing Marinette suppress more laughter, he kept going and got louder. She couldn’t stand still, the laughter causing her to bend in half unable to catch her breath. Making her laugh was somehow so addicting and so he kept doing the awful chicken noise, getting higher and louder and faster. Passerbys gave them strange looks and rolled their eyes. Alya couldn’t help but smile at the thought that everyone who saw them must assume they were lifelong friends. Maybe even more than that.

“Oh wow I didn’t realize how late it was,” announced Alya, pretending to check her phone. She was fairly certain the two forgot her and Nino were there. “Ugh, I’ve got an interview scheduled for the blog at 8am.”

“Yeah and I’ve got to wake her up otherwise she’ll never get there on time,” added Nino with a laugh, catching on quickly. Adrien and Marinette snapped out of their bubble, seeing suddenly how ridiculous they must seem.

“We should do this again soon though,” said Alya. “All of us,” she added, looking at Adrien.

“Yeah, this was fun,” said Marinette, sneaking a glance at Adrien (though he didn’t notice) before turning back to Alya. “Are you okay to get home?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna grab a taxi,” said Alya. “What about you two? Are you okay? You didn’t switch to water when Nino and I did.”

“That was water? I thought you guys just switched to white wine,” asked Adrien. Nino chuckled and handed Adrien his phone so the two could make plans to hang out later in the week.

While the boys talked, Alya pullled Marinette into a hug to supposedly say goodbye.

“No girl, for real are you okay to get home? We can drop you off,” she whispered.

“No it’s okay you guys live the opposite way and you need to get up early,” whispered Marinette back. “The bakery isn’t that far and It’s not like I’m walking alone.”

“Exactly,” said Alya, pulling away but making sure the boys were too distracted by their conversation to hear theirs. “I know tonight was fun but you didn’t start the day being Adrien’s biggest fan. You’re okay walking home with him?”

“Yes Alya I’m fine,” she hiccuped. “I’m not even that drunk.”

“Marinette!” Adrien called suddenly, very excited. “Can we make pizza at the bakery?!”

“Oh my god pizzaaaaaa!” She exclaimed far too loudly, throwing her hands in the air. “Yes, yes let’s go! Bye Alya!”

She ran ahead and Adrien excitedly and instinctively followed her, the two a collection of giggle and hiccups stumbling between the street lights.

“Text me when you get home!” Alya called after the pair. They were quite a sight. She couldn’t help but smile at the fact that this morning Marinette couldn’t say his name without grimacing and now they were rushing off into the night. She wondered how Marinette would feel about the blonde boy tomorrow.

“Pizza, pizza, pizza!” The two exclaimed as they trudged down the sidewalk.

“Okay I know we have dough and cheese I don’t know if we have any pizza sauce,” said Marinette raking her brain. “Do we want toppings? Because I think we just have sprinkles, maybe we-ahhh!” Suddenly the ground came rushing at her, but before she had time to process what was happening she was stopped inches from the pavement. She looked up and saw Adrien had caught her in the knick of time. His hands were on her waist as if he was dipping her in a some eleaborate dance. The streetlight above him reflected on his golden hair like a halo.

He really was a good model, she couldn’t help but think as she found herself drawn to his light like an innocent moth.

“Sorry,” he said realizing the position they were in. “Force of habit, I guess. I didn’t mean, I mean I-.”

“Don’t apologize,” she breathed, not attempting to remove herself from his grip. “You’ve just got like catlike reflexes.”

“Yeah, I maybe??” He laughed. He couldn’t even explain her own pun to her as he pulled her to her feet. “Hehe, uh sorry if I distracted you again.”

“No, no it’s my own fault, I’m extra clumsy when I’m drunk,” she explained, bashful suddenly for some reason. “I’m a regular public menace. But thanks for not letting me fall on my face.”

He smiled. “Anytime,” he stood up straight and offered her his arm. “To ensure you don’t fall again,” he explained.

The logic of his reasoning negated any objections her former view of him held at the ready. He didn’t have to be kind to her when it was just them, and this must be why she held onto his arm so firmly and allowed herself to be so close as they walked. She suddenly felt guilty for her ulterior motives in inviting him out. The skeptic in her wanted to point out that maybe he was faking being drunk, or was so well versed at deception that alcohol had no affect on his ability to lie. But a larger part of her just wanted to rest her head on his shoulder as he led her home, contently listening to him ramble.

“Okay but why isn’t pizza a pastry?” he continued. “Like a lot of baked goods have cheese, they all have dough. Is it the sauce? But donuts have filling and the tomato is a fruit, I think-?”

“Maybe pizza can be your menu speciality,” she murmured, following the voice that told her to rest her head. “But you can give it a fun name and make it look different so they won’t know it’s pizza until they taste it. You’d think of a good name, you’re funny.”

“I’m funny?” he asked, genuinely surprised and flattered.

“I’m drunk, who knows what I’m saying,” she joked. “I’ll deny it but yes you are funny. I like when you write puns on the specials board.”

“Really?” He chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d be a fan of bad puns.”

“I’ve heard worse,” she murmured, her mouth moving faster than her mind. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Like what?” he tried, trying to careful in this new territory, but fighting his catlike curiosity . “Are you a secret comedian?”

“No, no but I was in love with a boy who made puns a lot,” she said quietly, almost just to herself. “It seems so silly but now whenever I hear a good one I write it down so I don’t forget. So I can tell it to him. But I’m never gonna see him again. That’s so stupid isn’t it?”

He saw tears forming in her eyes. “I think it’s sweet,” he said. “Is he someone you meet in New York? On your internship?”

She stopped, her mind had brought up another similarly between him and Chat Noir and that was extra confusing right now. But she hadn’t had anyone to talk to about Chat and it felt nice to share something about him aloud. She had to tread carefully though.

“I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk about it,” said Adrien before she could find the words. “It’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he continued, gently removing his arm from her. “You’ve already done so much for me, helping me at the bakery, letting me into your home, inviting me out tonight . You’re a very kind person Marinette and I’ve invaded so much of your space already, I shouldn’t be invading your privacy.”

“No, Adrien please it is okay,” she insisted. “I brought it up. And I... I’ve never brought it up to anyone before, to be honest. And it must be because... I like talking to you. Because-.”

“-of the wine?” He offered.

“-because we’re friends,” she finished, looking up at him with soft, truthful eyes.

“I think it is the wine,” he joked, only half certain.

“Here, I’ll prove it,” she said, keeping her purse and rummaging through its contents. Finally she found what she was searching for. “Here,” she said, placing something in his hand.

“What is this?”

“My lucky charm,” she said proudly, as he opened his hand to reveal a simple keychain composed of colorful beads. “I made it during my internship, it helped me when I had deadlines or a creativity block. I take it everywhere.”

“And you’re giving this to me?”

“Well I still plan on needing it and having it close by, so I wouldn’t just entrust it to someone I don’t want in my space would I? It’s probably not as flashy as the friendship bracelets Chloe made you but-.”

She was cut off as Adrien pulled her into a tight embrace. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

She hesitated, but returned the gesture. “You’re welcome,” she said as the two stood in the middle of the sidewalk, embracing for probably a little too long. “Adrien, since we’re friends, I think I should be honest with you.”

He pulled back to face her, his face still holding a smile despite her dismal tone. “What is it?”

“Today, when I invited you...” she began, her pride almost too big a pill to swallow. “Well, I had ulterior motives for inviting you.”

“Really?”

“I thought, oh god I’m so embarrassed,” she pushed through. “I though you had ... a secret.”

“A secret?”

“Yes,” she buried her face in her hands, utterly embarrassed. “Ugh, and I thought it you got drunk enough you would blurt it out. And that’s so awful of me and I know it’s dishonest, but I promise you it’s not like that anymore. I was paranoid, I guess. I don’t know. But I’m so sorry. really do enjoy spending time with you-.”

“What kind of secret?”

“Huh?” She said, surprised he wasn’t mad. “Oh, i-it doesn’t matter. It was still wrong of me.”

“Well why couldn’t you ask me about it before?”

“I didn’t have any sort of proof,” she admitted. “Only a hunch.”

“Why?” He asked. He wasn’t mad but she couldn’t place his tone. People must have accused him of this before. She knew now he wasn’t his father, he was more than whatever his past held, and he didn’t deserve another faker. She knew he’d ask what she suspected and it would ruin everything but maybe she could make it less awful if she kept apologizing?

“Nothing major, just because of how you acted around me-.”

“I see.”

“-but I know now I was completely wrong,” she quickly went on. “Getting to know you tonight and spending more time with you at the bakery, I know I was wrong.”

“Oh,” was that all he could say? Oh?!

“Because you’re just so nice!” She went on, her drunk brain turning to rambling. “You’re actually a really great guy, and you’re just quiet at first, you’re ... a friend...”

“Just a friend?” He asked, the word holding his attention tight.

“Yes,” she said, hoping he was considering accepting her apology. “And I- oh darn it.” Suddenly, a raindrop fell onto Marinette’s cheek. Then another. Without warning the sky began to pour, and the pair sought shelter. Adrien took off his jacket and placed it over Marinette’s head to attempt and shield her from the rain, a fruitless attempt as the jacket immediately became soaked and heavy and helpful to no one.

As they made their way through the waterfall that claimed the sidewalk, an abandoned umbrella leaning against a building caught Adrien’s eye. He swooped in to grab and quickly opened it over Marinette’s head. “Ugh, I can’t see,” she cried, the rain causing her eye makeup to run and sting her eyes. She wiped it away, only to smudge it and give cover her face with a charcoal color. Adrien laughed.

“Mademoiselle Hamster, you look more like a raccoon now,” he wheezed. Before Marinette could offer a clever response, she saw the rain continued to fall on him as she was safely covered.

“You’re going to catch pneumonia,” she stated angrily.

“It’s not a very big umbrella,” he said, still laughing.

“Nonsense,” she said, yanking the umbrella handle to spin him in. “I’m not about to let you get sick and stick me with all the work at the bakery.”

But the umbrella was very small. And in order for them both to be covered, they had to stand very close together.

“Fine by me,” breathed Adrien, looking down at Marinette. She stood in front of him, her hands landing instinctively on his chest as if they were slow dancing. She was aware of this, but did not remove them. Her eyes went to the ground, not being about to handle the closeness with eye contact. In one hand Adrien held the umbrella, the other one slowly went to removed a strand of wet hair from her face. A bolt of lighting graced the sky.

“You were right you know,” he said quietly, the rain almost drowning him out.

“About what?”

“About my secret,” he said with a chuckle. “I thought I hid it well, but I guess I made it really obvious.”

“What?” Said Marinette, looking up at him is disbelief, her hands trembled. “No, no you’re still drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying. No, no I know now... after everything that happened it can’t be true.”

“Do you... not want it to be true?”

“I guess it doesn’t really matter what I want,” she admitted, bowing her head again. “Either it’s true or it’s not.”

“I promise you, it’s very true,” said Adrien, his voice softer than she had ever heard but somehow insanely familiar. He placed his free hand under her chin and lead her to meet his gaze.

“Wait, what did you think I-.”

“Marinette, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be more direct with you,” he began. “But I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way again since... you’re so amazing and I- I’m done keeping secrets; I do have feelings for you.”

“W-what kind of feelings?” she asked, a tiny portion of her intoxicated little mind convinced he was angry with her.

Adrien closed his eyes and leaned in close to her and his lips stopped mere inches from her own. Hesitating. Waiting. Silence. She looked at him, no streetlight caught his hair now but the shine remained. The glow was just him. He wasn’t a spy, he wasn’t a traitor, he wasn’t a villain. Her mind ran with things he was not until suddenly she realized what he was. Kind. Handsome. Funny. Charming. She had taken these things for granted before and thought they were lost and locked away forever. It was like they were reincarnated, her heart fluttered in an nearly forgotten familiar way as if to say she had been here before. As if to say this is exactly where she was meant to be.

Lighting crashed in the distance.

She chased the feeling and eliminated the space between them, drawn to him like he was magnetic. She could could blame it on the wine. She could blame it on the rain. She could blame it on the way his eyes were so gentle and vibrant at the same time like a lush green forest she wanted to explore until she was hopelessly lost. But she crashed into him like a she was a tidal wave, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled herself up to kiss him. He stepped back, surprised but pleased and tossed aside the umbrella in favor of having both his arms around her as he eagerly kissed her back. He lifted her off the ground, perhaps a little too overzealous, and the pair found themselves on the ground in the middle of a puddle. Only then did they break apart, like a dream they were rudely awakened from, and Marinette found herself laying on top of him.

Adrien looked at her, eyes wide and curious, awaiting a sign of how she felt. Even now, with her eyeliner smudged and her hair soaking wet, his heart skipped a beat in way it hadn’t done in years. What was she thinking? Should he say something? His mind raced with what to say next, he had imagined this confession thousands of times since he realized his feelings, but none of his scenarios went quite like this. He didn’t want to risk ruining anything, if there was even something to ruin. He played the last minute over and over in his head like a romantic film scene. He smiled a wide smile and if Marintee didn’t know any better, she could have sworn he was purring.

Marinette took that as her signal to lean forward, slower and more graceful than the first attempt and kissed him again. It was less rushed and more gentle, but also more certain. The umbrella was carried away by the wind, the two seemed to have forgotten about the rain or any storms between them.

The next day, Marinette awoke feeling sicker than she had ever felt in her life. Not only did she have a massive hangover, but being stuck in the rain had given her a terrible cold as well. Her body couldn’t decide which unpleasant feeling to focus on so she remained in bed, cursing the world.

“Hey girl,” came Alya’s voice from the doorway. “Heard you weren’t feeling too good.”

“Alya I’m dying,” moaned Marinette.

“Were you so busy dying that you couldn’t text me that you go home safely?” laughed Alya, removing the pillow from her face. “Omigosh you didn’t even wash your face last night. You really were trashed.”

“Ugh I don’t even remember it raining last night, but I woke up soaked,” complained Marinette.

“Wait, you don’t remember it raining?”

“No, after we said goodbye to you and Nino the night it a total blur.”

“Oh, does Adrien remember the rain?”

“I don’t know, we don’t talk,” Marinette reminded her, covering her head with a blanket. “I don’t know what I said to him on the walk home, but my throat is killing me so it feels like I was yelling.

“Wait, you don’t remember anything from the walk home?”

“No,” repeated Marinette. “Why? Did I drunk dial you or something?”

“Uh, no,” said Alya with a mischievous smile. “But when it started to rain I told the cab driver to drive by your place to see if you guys got caught in the rain and I’m so glad I did because I saw something very interesting.”

“What?”

Alya simply handed Marinette her phone and braced herself for the reaction she knew was coming. Marinettte had to do a double take at first. But there was no mistaking this was a picture of her. And Adrien. Kissing.

“WHAT?!” She exclaimed, giving herself a worse headache. “Ouch. Ugh, Alya please tell me this is photoshopped, this is a joke right?”

“Not this time, I am an eyewitness,” assured her friend. “I saw everything.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he kissed me,”

“Well you shouldn’t because if you go back a little bit you see it’s clear as day who kissed whom,”

“What?” But it was true. She swiped back and forth and there was no arguing that she pulled him in, she reached up, she kissed him. Twice. “Oh no.”

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed,” said Alya taking back her phone. “If kissing a former model in the rain is the worst thing you’ve done after drinking, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t see why you don’t like him anyway, you two got along so well yesterday.”

“Oh no no no I just thought it was another dream!”panicked Marinette.

“Another?” Teased Alya. “So you often dream about kissing Adrien?”

Only when he’s working with his supervillain father “I’m never drinking again,” vowed Marinette, burying her head in her hands. “Please tell me no one else saw those photos.”

“Just me and Nino, but I’m keeping them for blackmail,” confirmed Alya as she headed for the door. “Or to show at your wedding.”

Marinette threw a pillow at the door, just missing her friend as she took her leave. What had gotten into her? Besides copious amounts of wine, that is. She prayed that Adrien’s memory of last night was even foggier than hers. She wished she had Tikki with her to talk her through this without any judgment but she just had her. And all she could do was panic.

“Hey, are you up?” Came a small voice accompanied by a knock on her door. “I just saw Alya leave and I wanted to check on you if that’s okay.”

It was Adrien. “Um yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess,” she replied. He didn’t come in, she didn’t invite him. He was still wary of her. That must be as good sign, right?

“A headache?” He chuckled knowingly. “I had one too. I made a smoothie and that kind of helped. I can bring you one. Or leave it in the kitchen for you.”

“Thanks,” she said awkwardly. Silence stood between them for what felt like hours.

“Listen, about last night,” Adrien said at last. Marinette braced herself for the worst.

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to say thank you,” he said outside the door. “It meant a lot, you guys inviting me out. I had a lot of fun, well the parts I remember anyway.”

“Do you... remember walking home?”

“Hardly,” he admitted. “Apparently it rained?”

She laughed. “Go figure,” she said. She cousins sent he was right: she did enjoy the parts she remembered. “But um thank you too for helping me get home safely. You’re a good friend.”

The sound of the word made him blush, he was grateful she couldn’t see his face. “Anytime,” he said. “Feel better, I guess I’ll see you later?”

“See ya,” she said, as she heard him walk away from the door and flopped on her bed in relief. Crisis averted.

Adrien made his way down the stairs, Marinette’s keychain in hand. The moments of last night replayed in his head. It was blurry to him as well, but a few moments stood out to him. Mostly, the way she said ‘lucky charm’ and the way her smudged makeup resembled a mask.

[bunnyywritings]

dino to the rescue

Tsukishima Kei x gn!reader

[a/n: I am obsessed with dinosaurs and with salty boi Tsukki so....yeah😖 I made this on zero sleep at like 5am. Enjoy! Also, there is no doubt in my mind that Tsukki calls his s/o stupid nicknames like pumpkin and sweetheart when they’re alone together -yours truly, bunnyy-`ღ´- ps this gif is super pretty, not to simp on the main or anything but I busted the phattest uwu ]

It had been a rough week. Not that he’d like to admit it but, it really, really sucked. First he had actually gotten a pretty bad score on an exam that he studied so hard for, he had not been able to see you at all either. Going to separate schools had really taken its toll on the both of you. And his blocks during practice were certainly not at the level he had liked them to be. Akiteru and Yamaguchi had been the ones that had sent you a text on Friday night to ask you if you knew what was going on.

After learning that you also had no idea what was going on, Akiteru had sent you a brief overview of what had happened. Kei had gotten home and shut himself in his room, not even coming out to have dinner until all the dishes were cleaned and the leftovers were wrapped up.

So, you had taken it upon yourself to cheer up your boyfriend. It was the least you could do after he had done the same for you countless times. You woke up bright and early on Saturday morning. Donning your most comfortable clothing and sneakers, you head off to the store to pick up a few things before heading to the Tsukishima household.

You knocked a couple of times, before it opened and there stood Akiteru in his practice clothing.

“Oh! Hey (y/n)! Come in.” He let you in and pulled you into a hug, one that you happily returned before slipping off your shoes. “Mom is out running errands so she shouldn’t be back for a while and I’ve got morning practice.” He groaned, obviously disliking that he had to be active at 8am.

“Is Kei awake?” You asked as you peered down the hall and at his door.

“No.” He sighed. “He usually is but, I guess he’s been sulking or something.” He fished his phone from his pocket and looked at, eyes widening as he rushed to put on his shoes. “Now I’ve gotta go. No funny business okay? Keep it PG.” he flicked your forehead playfully.

“What about PG-13?”

“Don’t push it.” He chuckled before ultimately making his way out.

You made your way into the kitchen, placing the half-strawberry shortcake you had bought earlier. You wanted to make him some breakfast. Something simple. There was some left over rice in the rice cooker so you started to re-heat it. Making your way to the stove, you started to cook. Grilling some fish and vegetables and placing them over the steaming bowl of rice. You also made some hot green tea with a bit of ginger. You went ahead and served yourself a serving too since you had yet to eat that morning.

“(Y/n)?” A deep voiced Kei spoke up from some ways behind you. You turned to greet him but once seeing the state he was in, the ends of your mouth twitched downward. He was still barely waking up but the skin around his eyes was red with irritation and puffy. You knew that wasn’t from sleep. His hair was sticking up a bit and he was still in his sweat pants and a karasuno pullover. You could tell that he had been crying, his glasses obstructing your view made it hard to tell whether it was from last night or this morning.

“Surprise?” You were unsure on how to approach the situation, the statement just left your lips in a panic.

“What are you doing here?” He asked while making his way towards you, his hand scratching his belly.

“Well...honestly? Teru and Tadashi both messaged me and said that you were acting strange. Upset, really. So I wanted to do something.” You approached him, wrapping your arms loosely around his torso. “I know we haven’t seen each other at all this week, and I really missed you.” He gulped, knowing that the second he looked down into your puppy eyes, he’d confess everything. “I just wanted to come cheer you up! Since you always do it for me.” His resilience broke and he looked into your wide puppy dog eyes. His eyes glazed over and he tugged off his glassed and tossed them onto the table before wrapping his arms around you and stuffing his face into the side of your neck. Your hold got tighter when you realized his shoulders were shaking and his tears wet the collar of your t-shirt. Biting your bottom lip harshly, you willed yourself to keep your own tears at bay. Seeing him this vulnerable wasn’t new but it was the fact that he was hurting is what made you hurt too.

“What happened, Kei?” The way you spoke his name so tenderly didn’t help his tears subside.

“First, I failed my damn Chem test.”

“The one you almost killed yourself studying for?” He hummed against you as a confirmation, he didn’t seem like he was going to let up anytime soon.

“And my blocks were terrible every single day this week, while Hinata had absolutely no problem with anything.” You were aware of his inferiority complex with the orange-haired ball of energy that you met once. “I also lost my freaking headphones at school and I cracked my phone screen during practice...and-and I couldn’t even see you because you had your own club activities and-” he took a deep breath, still hugging you close to him. “Tch. Can you believe this? I probably sound like such a whiner.” He let go of you and turned away, wiping his tears furiously before taking another deep breath and turning to you.

“Kei, it’s okay to be upset when you’ve had a rough week. That’s normal.” He slipped his glasses on. “It’s just me and you here, you don’t need to act like Mr. cool guy. I already know you’re a big nerd. You can’t fool me anymore.” You grinned as that roused a chuckle from him.

“Thank you pumpkin, I really appreciate you coming over. I really missed you.” He leaned down and gave you a proper kiss before you both sat and enjoyed the breakfast that you made.

An hour or two later, you were both cuddling in his bed while devouring that half of a shortcake that you got. He picked a strawberry from the top of the cake, scooping up some cream and holding it up to your mouth. Blushing a fierce pink, you opened your mouth and closed your eyes but once you bit down there was the ‘click’ of your teeth and his chuckles but no strawberry.

“Tsukki!” You pouted, he snorted a laugh. “If you’re mean to me, I won’t give you the other thing I got you.” He’d would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious. So he held the strawberry to your mouth, small smile growing on his lips as you took a bite, humming in delight at the sweetness.

“Good choice. I’ll be right back!” You had ran out of the room before zooming back in, hands held behind her back before you presented it to him. It was a small  bag. With a raised eyebrow, he took it and looked inside. He reached in and brought out the gift. “A watch?” He asked, brows pinched together.

“Kind of.” He watched as you reached into your pocket and showed him one that was identical to the one in the box. “I know it’s super cheesy but when you tap your watch, mine will vibrate and vice versa.” As you explained he slipped on the already charged watched and tapped it. You gasped in surprise when the watch gave a little ‘hum.’

Tsukishima read the back of the box. one tap= i’m thinking about you, two taps= thank you, and lastly, three taps= i love you. His heart swelled with happiness, not that his face showed it much.

“I know it’s not your thing but-” He cut you off, tapping the watch twice and gauging your reaction. As long as it made you happy, he’d keep it

Whispered sweet nothings, soft cuddles, and tender kisses were shared before you went back home. Quickly grabbing your laptop and searching for the exact same headphones that Kei had lost plus a little something else. You ended up using all your allowance money to get that and the next day shipping but it was worth it. You triple checked to make sure you put down his address before confirming the order.

The next day, you got an email saying that the package was delivered. So you waited. What you hadn’t expected was for your watch to buzz twice before your phone rang. Answering the facetime call, you grinned. Seeing him with the headphones over his head but an un-amused expression on his face made it hard to hold in laughter.

“(Y/n) what is this?” He held up a little teal triceratops plushie.

“His name is dino, he’s going to be there to save you when you have a bad day and I can’t hug you.” His eyes widened and a blush spread on his cheeks.

“Oh...right.” You almost fell off of your bed in sheer happiness as he casually hugged it to his chest.

“Thank you, (y/n). Really. You made my crap week better.” There was a pause when your wrist buzzed three times.

“I love you too, kei.”

“What’s the point of the watch then? If you’re still saying stuff like that out loud.” But he definitely didn’t mind.

He loved you with the entirety of his string bean head-ass. And you loved him too.

[ironmandeficiency]

idiot’s array

pairing: kix / reader

word count: 1351

summary: during sabacc night in the barracks, you just thought you were going to win the game you were playing. too bad you didn’t account for kix playing one of his own.

request: “Lol I guess someone else had the wolffe bug too 😍, can I request kix with wiping away person b tears?”

a/n: i was in too happy of a mood to make this sad, so funny/crack is where i’m taking it!!! hope that’s alright, anon!! this can be read as a sister piece to “we (don’t) need a medic” if you want. also i discovered that sabacc is pretty similar to blackjack, which is cool. and another thing, i really should go to bed, it’s nearly 8am where i am rn and i haven’t been to bed

sabacc night in the barracks was the highlight of your week. it was time away from fellow mechanics and the prying eyes of higher-ups well spent in the arms of kix. it didn’t matter that you were absolutely terrible at sabacc, you just enjoyed being with your favorite medic.

“you gonna play a round with us, y/n?” jesse teased, nudging your shoulder with his from where you sat on kix’s right thigh.

“not a chance!” everyone thought it was the funniest thing, your lack of skills at the popular game. the premise was simple, just getting as close to 23 or -23 with your cards as possible without going over 23 or under -23. with your rotten luck, however, you would always end up at 24 and bomb out. no one knew how you did it (least of all you) but you learned quickly to not join in.

fives plopped down on the left side of you and kix, cards in hand. “c’mon, you sure? it’ll be fuuuunn!” he poked your shoulder to emphasize his point, a grin plastered on his face.

brothers started approaching the table until the game was filled to its max of eight players, spectators gathering around quickly. when the arc trooper was dealing, no one knew what would happen (fives probably didn’t have a clue either but he played it off well).

kix chuckled at the way your eyes rolled -he didn’t need to see your face to know that’s what you were doing- and wrapped his arms around your stomach, thumb slowly stroking the area. it was a habit he formed early on into your relationship, ever since the first time he held you and massaged away the cramps that had you awake at the asscrack of dawn. no matter where you were, if there was a way for him to be touching you, he would. fingers intertwined, a hand on your lower back, and his ultimate favorite: you in his lap without a care in the world.

“you di’kut, you know what happened last time i played!”

“yeah, is it bad that i want it to happen again?”

fives had ended up winning the pot, most of your credits taking up new residence in fives’s pouch. the jingling they made as they hit each other was the only motivation you needed to not play sabacc ever again.

plus, you enjoyed your spot as a spectator. best seat in the barracks.

the game was filled and fives began to deal. you mentally braced yourself for impending bullshit from fives and decided that today was a great day to tease your medic. kix picked up the cards he was dealt and the gears were beginning to turn in his head, the medic seeming lost in his own little world of sabacc.

“that hand doesn’t look too good, honey,” you smirked as you adjusted yourself on his lap, your boyfriend forced to move his legs to where you were perched upon both. this was the best position for your plan and he didn’t even realize that he played into your hands with how intensely he was studying the game.

one hand held his two cards close to him while the other kept its spot on your stomach, thumb still moving back and forth. his chin rested on your shoulder and he’d occasionally sneak a quick peck to your cheek throughout the game. it was really sweet and it almost made you feel guilty for the way you were inconspicuously pressing back against his lap every few minutes.

by the minute his grip around you got a smidge tighter, his pace quicker. he wasn’t a fool. kix knew the game you were playing and he knew it well. the man was an expert at playing the fool (he was surrounded by them, it rubbed off a little) and he was eager to see your face when you realized that you were the one being played.

to everyone’s delight and detriment, there was plenty of fives-brand ridiculousness. from hardcase blowing paper spitballs at his brothers from somewhere in the crowd (he learned last time that you were not to be trifled with) to spears braiding things into tup’s hair that the latter hadn’t been paying near enough attention to, laughter was abundant.

the round was coming to an end, the other players going around and calling out their final totals. you knew what kix’s was and your plan, when he began to say it, was to grind back against him with a bit more determination than was necessarily warranted. it was a bit cruel to tease him like this in front of his brothers, but it wasn’t like kix didn’t mess with you in front of them. you had yet to get him back after making the largest scene possible when you had simply nicked your finger while fixing an astromech, sneaking in a bit of groping in a way only a medic could get away with.

your chance for revenge had arrived. kix was opening his mouth to speak and you less than sneakily moved your hips against his lap but then-

“kriff, kix! stop, i- AAAHHH! kix!”

the bastard was tickling you! his cards were discarded to the floor as his chin dug into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, the hand around your waist beginning to join the assault as well. near laughter rang out from all sides at your demise as kix refused to let up on his attack.

“thought you could get one over on me, huh kar’ta?” kix’s voice was playful in your ear as he continued to move his chin, a shriek erupting from your throat at the strange sensation.

you continued to struggle in his hold but kix’s grip was solid durasteel. he had paused for a moment to enjoy the happiness from all sides but still kept his grip solid. “fives, help me dammit! get me- kix, i can’t breathe! kix!”

fives put his hands up in mock surrender. “i’m not getting involved, he could have a syringe up his sleeve for all i know!”

“you di’kut, he’s not wearing sleeves!” what you said was true; he was in a grease-stained tank top you had snagged from a fellow mechanic’s laundry a few weeks ago and kriff did you enjoy the view of his arms when he wore it. it’s the simple things in life that brought the most joy.

your laughter had stopped for a moment too long in the eyes of your boyfriend because he quickly resumed his assault with more vigor. tears had sprung to your eyes from laughing so hard, a few of them rolling down your aching cheeks.

you were completely out of breath by the time kix finished, the widest grin plastered across his face. a hand came up to cup your face, the pad of his thumb gently wiping away the tears under your eyes. his mocha eyes locked onto yours and you could feel the crippling love and fondness in that gaze alone. you could only hope that your own eyes reflected the same to him.

he seemed to be pondering something for a moment, the stillness of his body on yours making it all the easier for you to feel his heartbeat. soon he came to a decision, judging by the way his jaw set and body began to move. with admirable strength, he scooped you into his arms and turned his back on the sabacc game. his only thoughts were of you and some especially fun activities you could get up to while his brothers were mostly congregated somewhere far away from your quarters.

the sabacc round ended with jesse as the winner with a perfect 23. it wasn’t until fives bent to pick up kix’s dropped hand that he learned that the medic would have won the whole pot if you hadn’t distracted him. the three cards in hand were a two, a three, and the idiot, otherwise known as the only hand that could beat a 23.

you were going to pay dearly for your antics.

[ryanugenthopkins]

50 questions game!

i was tagged by @cartrshart (tysm ash!!)

what is the color of your hairbrush? it’s a boar bristle brush so brown

name a food you never eat? i really dislike olives so i never touch those

are you typically too warm or too cold? often too warm bc i really enjoy the cold and anything over like 25 degrees (celsius) is too hot for me

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? walking back from work!

what’s your favourite candy bar? kit kat 

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i have! i’ve been to a few AFL games (mainly when i was younger) and a couple of cricket games with my family. i’ve also been to aihl and awihl games but those aren’t technically professional (rip)

what is the last thing you said out loud? “can i write my essay in your room” to my friend (as you can tell i am. not writing the essay)

what is your favourite ice cream? probably hazelnut or salted caramel!

what was the last thing you had to drink? a cup of tea (although this reminded me i should drink some water so thank you!)

do you like your wallet? i don’t really have one actually.. i have this stick on card holder on the back of my phone case which i always use instead

what is the last thing you ate? a pork banh mi for lunch!

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? not on the weekend but last thursday i went op shopping and bought a cute cardigan and top

what’s the last sporting event you watched? game five of tampa v dallas (only a bit of it tho)

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? usually the most buttery i can find (often triple butter flavour explosion lol)

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend! she did her med school interview today so it was a congrats text 

ever go camping? i have! i went camping more as a kid and on school camps but i really want to go again with my college friends soon

do you take vitamins? no i actually never have (if anyone has advice on if their worth it lmk)

do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope!

do you have a tan? i mean i have a very faded (fake) tan right now but otherwise im pale af

do you prefer Chinese or pizza? chinese food for sure

do you drink your soda through a straw? to copy ash’s answer- if its from restaurants then yes but if its straight outta the can then no

what colour socks do you usually wear? i have a couple of funky pairs to mix it up but usually just white/grey/black solid colours

do you ever drive above the speed limit? despite having my learners for almost five years i still don’t know how to drive so no

what terrifies you? people secretly thinking i’m super annoying and clingy

look to your left, what do you see? my friend’s super cute watermelon rug

what chore do you hate most? one of the best think about college is less household chores but in general probably cleaning the bathroom

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? peachprc accent (actually im aussie so. not much.) (also ash your answer to this is so funny i don’t think i’ve said crikey unironically in my entire life)

what’s your favourite soda? i don’t have soft drink a lot but probably sprite 

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru for sure

what’s your favourite number? 8

mysterious deleted question

favourite cut of beef? i don’t really have an opinion on this but probably tenderloin?

last song you listened to? groceries by mallrat

last book you read? not this reminding me i haven’t read in way too long i think it was the murderbot diaries series by martha wells (would recommend)

favourite day of the week? probably friday (hey ash why is yours wednesday)

can you say the alphabet backwards? nope :( i could do it for a hot second at ten years old because we had to learn it on our year five camp but promptly forgot it (which im a bit sad abt bc sounds like a cool party trick)

how do you like your coffee? if i’m getting it from a cafe then a latte but if im making it myself then black with a bit of milk

favourite pair of shoes? my favourite ones i own are my black docs that reflect iridescent rainbow whenever the light hits them and they’re super cool but i haven’t broken them in yet so can’t wear them :(

time you normally get up? if i have work then 8am but otherwise it’s anyones bet (usually before 11 but really who knows)

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets (mainly bc they’re the only ones i see unless i stay up all night)

how many blankets on your bed? two!

describe your kitchen plates? the ones i have at college are like blue and white patterned? idk how to describe them

describe your kitchen at the moment? again at college so a bit difficult!!

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? i’m a big red wine fan so probably that (only if it’s nice though otherwise i’ll usually drink ciders)

do you play cards? does go fish count?

what colour is your car? refer to #23 (pls no judgement for me being 21 and not having my licence shksdkjs)

can you change a tire? nope!

your favourite state? i’m just going to take this as australia since i don’t know USA states very well and say victoria because it’s where i’m from and i love it (mainly for how cool melbourne is tho)

favourite job you’ve had? probably my current job! i do fundraising for some really great causes and i love it

tagging: @jordaneberle @lajnias @korpisolid @ijustlovehockey and anyone else who wants to do it!! (but also feel free to not because this is defs a long one)

[pbandjesse]

So I thought I had an interview today. But it was not an interview at all! Because the woman from the Y kept referring to me as the new lead teacher at this site. So...Not an interview! I have the job and I start on monday! 

I am slightly conflicted but Ill get to that later. 

I slept pretty well. I woke up at 8 like I am supposed to. But I wanted so much to go back to sleep.  My navel piercing tore a little again and I had to take the jewelry out. Its very annoying. I have had this piercing for almost a decade but now I am getting psoriasis on it? Really?? At least all the other parts of my skin is healing really well. Im actually shocked but also worried about what I go off the steroid. Cause in the past its just all come back as soon as I stop. But at least for now I can enjoy it. 

I did get up though. I got a shower. I bothered James. He made me a bagel. I teased him for how little cream cheese he put on it. And after chilling in the dungeon for a while I went to work on some art. 

I had to sew a little tear on the dress I wore today. And the I just got to work on some of the last frog things Im making before the store goes live. I found a bag of hair clips so I didnt need to go buy any and that was exciting. I also worked on putting holes in the backs of the lego froggies. I am waiting on the heart beads still but the frogs went well. 

The car was still not ready at noon. So James coordinated with him dad to borrow the car from him and walked to the monument to pick it up. I was nervous to drive someone elses car. James gave me some tips but I was still really scared.

I had lunch while James was gone. Cleaned up the apartment a little more. Made sure I had everything I needed. My notebook and stuff. Cleaned up my eyebrows. Was nervous!! But then James was back and I had to actually think about leaving.

 But James got me a gift! It came in the mail! Its that fragrant jewels brand that is like bath bombs and candles with rings in it. They all smell like chocolate. I am excited to see what I get. He's the sweetest boy. 

I left early. Because of course I did. I had a podcast. And it was a quick drive. Its about 20 minutes give or take. But man. It was so scary driving this car. It didnt coast like ours does, and I couldnt figure out how to put the head lights on. And I was just so nervous. But it ended up being fine but I was still scared the whole time.

I got to the place and it was nice! The neighborhood was nice. Solidly middle class. The location is next to a school. But its a Police Athletic League. And I dont know how I feel about that!! Like I firmly. Do NOT LIKE COPS. I dont want to be associated with the police. But also. The kids?? I want to help the kids. And Im not working for the cops. Im working for the Y. And the two guys who are working their are the sweetest guys. Older black men. Special education teachers. Kind and funny. So like. I have hopes. But yeah. It feels weird. 

Lana, the Y contact, was parked in front of me and I texted her I was there and once she was done her conference call we walked over to the building. 

And like I said the two men were so nice. We had a meeting and thats when I realized, oh I have this job. Because she kept referring to me as the lead teacher. Eventually I jumped in and was like. Hey BTW! This is my background and sort of gave my teaching history so that they had an idea of who I am. I will also have an aid, but she wasnt there today. I hope she's nice. 

After the meeting the guys gave me a tour. Its a small building but is also very nicely laid out. Have a few different rooms. I have some ideas for how the space Ill be in could work. And while I am mostly there as support for the kids, I will have some time to do arts projects with them. Im excited for how much freedom I have but also they dont actually have any registered kids yet so I dont know the ages besides that they have it open for 5 to 17. Ill make it work. 

After the tour we basically said see you at 8am on monday! And I was like. Awesome. And headed out.

I didnt exactly know where I was. But I also didnt want to be driving around a bunch in Tucker's car. But also I wanted wawa so I googled the closest one and headed there. I was starving. 

The wawa was actually really busy. It was hard to socially distance but I think most people tried their best. I got my sandwich and ate in the car. And then headed to drop off the car with Tucker. 

I had trouble parking but eventually I figured it out. I dont parallel park well on a good day but I did alright. And dropped off the keys with Tucker just minutes before the monument closed. So I made it! It was nice to see him. He won the raffle for tickets to the raven's game on sunday. I tisked at him but they are doing like a wild amount of distancing. So I hope its fine even if we arent happy about it. 

I walked home. And honestly it was a long walk but I had a nice time. The weather was good. I had a drink. I had a podcast. It was a good time. A man asked for a quarter and I had exactly that.  And it was just a good time. 

I got home and was in a good mood. I have been having a good night. Enjoying photographing more art. Making so many drafts on instagram in prep for the store opening on sunday. I have just been having a nice night. 

But I am tired. I think I am going to take a bath and use my new bath bomb and maybe the ring will come out?? I am looking forward to the surprise. 

I hope tomorrow is another good day. Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourselves. 

[kitkat2cats]

2017 – 2018

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  On 12 October 2017 Dear Elgar, I think you are too young to realise that humans are not as well adapted as we felines. They do not seem to have our ability to just let go and curl up and sleep. They mainly seem to sleep when it is dark. Poor things, I think it’s because their eyes are not as good as ours.You must be aware that if you want her to go on serving you let her have a good night’s sleep. I speak from experience. Purrs from Quintus.

13 Oct 2017 ​Dea-purr Quintus she says I is to say thank you for your email even though I felt you were tellings mes offs. Iz gets excited when zshe turns overs in bedz – I think she mights swant zto tickle my belly so I goes ands nuzzles her, somesztimes she pulls my next sto herz which makes me purrrrrrrrrrrrr lotz, butz Iz sdnont understands whys shes cross wiv me & like today at lightening ups inz the zskys wiv birdies teaszings mees she putz me out of her room nd shutsz door on me. I is cryings & puts my paws (thayz be bigg paws I haz *purrrrrrrrrr*) ins gapz under doors but she ignores me. I waz veryz sad nd I cryyd. I is confoozd I just brought her a prezant of birdzy nd she pickd meez up nd putz me outz de door! I  brought zit backs again but now shez stopped me comings in. Meow, 😦 I donts understands) Mew mew meow, moarghomew Elgar xx

On 13 October 2017 Dear Elgar, I was not trying to tell you off, more just trying to make you understand that humans are rather unlike us. I’m sorry yours was so misunderstanding of you. It is hard I know. For  some reason mine get narky when I get on the table. They don’t seem to realise it seems natural to me. They will spray me with water. Can’t understand why. Purrrrs and a nose rub, from Quintus.

25th Nov 2017 Dear Elgar, I hope your human is feeling a bit better. My human has thought of her lots, she has told me about her. I understand you are bigger than me. How is that for you are still not much more than a kitten?Though you do seem quite adventurous, and an expert at hunting. They do not always seem to appreciate this. They do seem to have some funny ideas, mine seem to get cross when I get on the table. It is such a good place to see will is going on, and I can even see out of the window if I face that way. She sometimes sprays me with water which I think is unnecessary, unkind. Funny things humans. Purrrrrrs to you and my aunty Muffin, and Arya, Quintus 

Dearapurrr Quintus I iz understanding yous – this one had a shock last nights (purr purr purr miaowwwwwwwwwww!! So funny) I had posted a toad through the slightly blocked cat flap (I has got Muffin to type – much faster & I am licking her ears) but my hooman didn’t know until she came to lock up last night. She was squealing (I don’t think it was with delight though 😦  ) as she had to pick it up & put it out of the flap – I was watching & it kepts leaping all over the place she got it onto the cat flap door but as she tried to put it out it jumped at her – she said some words I don’t hear very often – Muffs sez it’s shwairing – it took hooman over 5 mins to get toady out the hole! I waz giggling inside so much I fellz over n my legs were in the air!

Poor you being shqirted wiv water – not nice ats all! My hooman makes a noise like a snake which I knows is bad so I always try to gets as flats as possibles as snakes are naszty thhngs . sometimes I has to run away, but so far no sprayz wiz water. I got my hooman up today at 8am (so she sez) its waz urlier az dem birdiez wer teasing me so muches.

I is off to getz more birdz I thinks – I don’ts knows waz the problemz iz about it coming ins the house to be eats – after all my others foods are INDOORS – silly hooman! Purrs n no fleas (I don’t like havings that stuff on my neck but the bittings has stopped so I gez its a goods things reeelys) Speaks soon Elgar xx *purrrrrr*

On 27 Nov 2017

Miaowy greetings Uncle Quintus 

I is finally able to get my paws on hooman’s computery thing. Thank you for your writings. My hooman has been very poorly mother says & I am supposed to be keeping her warm, buts this is difficults at times as she moves me off, or says “Feet” – I knows I is meant to sits on her feet as they get cold (I never has cold feets have you?) but they are bony & she wriggles so I need to pounce, then she gets cross with me.

I sometimes worry about this thing of my hooman getting cross. Yesterday she smacked my nose! I was not happy at all with this, and the only reason was I was trying to clean out her breakfast bowl before she had finished – I don’t think I was unreasonable as she had taken HOURS to eat it…

Last night Aunty Muffin boxed my ears – I was just supporting her in keeping our hooman warm, I can’t help it if I am a bit bigger than Aunty Muffin – she needs to let ME have some room so I can be comfy shouldn’t she?

Hooman have me a deep groom this morning – she has taken her time over it! I like them every other day – but at least I has had one now. I stretched out for her, but something happened & I forgots – I puts my teeth & claws into my hooman. She put the furminator away & left the bedroom where we was. I got lonely & I still wanted my belly tickled! Such unreasonable behaviour from her at the moment.

She is also very smelly now, & has a REALLY noisy thing that she uses which makes her look like a dragon smoking (I has heard of these mystical creatures – I would like to grow up & be a dragon I think, does you know how I grows up to be a dragon?) she also coughs really loudly at times – so much so I have fallen off her legs – how is I supposed to do my “job” as foot warmer if she kicks me off?

I is in a mess here I thinks. nothing is going the way it should be. I is not worshipped – although my hooman does get me excellent food I suppose. So far she hasn’t sprayed me with the wet stuff deliberately – how bad is your hooman!?! That’s such an insult (unless you wanted some water – we does not have a table as far as I knows.

Right I has better sends this to yous before she comes back from the little room. Aunty Muffin is now sitting where I WANT TO SIT. It is just NOT FAIR! I is the biggest, bestest & only boy cat – surely they should treats me the bests? I is still only a baby in age.

I found a small squeaky thing outside – but it had a pointed nose – my hooman says its a shrew – & that it wouldn’t make good eatings – she knows about stuff like that so I left it on the mat in the kitchen for her. She didn’t say thank you. it’s all too confoosing for me.

Am I at the worst home ever?

sadly love Elgar xXx

28th Nove 2017 Purrrs Elgar, That was a good piece you sent. I will try to answer your questions First I don’t think your home is bad. There are many worse I understand, where you are not fed well and can be shut out when you want to go in. Humans are funny strange animals. They do odd things like getting wet all over in a thing called a bath, but seem to be almost afraid of rain. I don’t like rain much myself but it is natural.

My human tortured me the other day and said it was for my own good. First I was wound up in a towel, and held by the other human in my house, but I got free, cos I’m strong, but it was no use for the door and window was shut so they got me again. So undignified, I think I deserve more respect. Some fur was cut on my neck and some horrible stinging stuff put on. I got out as soon as the window was opened after I had given her a killing look, and almost decided not to go back but I got hungry.

I am training her, I just look at the food in my dish  but I will only eat it if she adds some of my treats, this way I get a few extra, which is good. She says I will get too fat and already looking fatter. It’s only my winter fur is thick, I don’t have to put on funny clothes and she puts on on lots if it is cold then SHE is fat. I guess your human is in a funny mood because she is not well. I would not leave until she is better, if she is still odd then you could visit me, I hope things improve soon. Purrrs , Quintus 

On 29 November 2017 Dear Elgar,Your message was very kind, but really my humans are not really that bad, and I am still training them. I have always plenty of dry food available, and water to drink, though I prefer the water that is outside. I too get treats every evening, and have trained her to give me extra sometimes.

I don’t usually sleep on my humans bed, but do sometimes. I prefer to be where I can roam as she keeps her door shut at night. At the moment my favourite place is a chair half way up the stairs. I can keep an eye on what is happening, though this cold weather makes me sleepy. Today I only went out for short times.

I have not heard about this dreadful monster but maybe I will stay in, especially she says it will be freezing tonight. Even with my thick fur I can not like that much cold. I am glad your human is a bit better.  I think you are all looking after her very nicely. Just remember not to wake her up.  Many purrrrrs to you, Quintus.

2nd December 2017 Dear Elgar, You send very good letters. Thanks. Presents are things that you give or receive. The food you sent me was a present, sometimes to make things complicated it is called a gift. Humans seem to like having different words for the same thing. Very odd. I still have a little of your special food for it is given to r almost like a great, though more than a great. It sounds fun that you search for yours. Mine are put in a special little dish. The special ones for cleaning my teeth are put there too, but at a different time. Yes, it is too cold.  I usually go out lots, but I suppose staying on my chair much of the time. I think I will go out and do, but come in again very soon. I am intrigued , what is a furminator? I think you must be cleaver to hold it. I have you are kind to warm your humans bed, but I guess it is a comfortable place for you too. My human has a cold but she thinks it is almost better, so maybe she will see you on Monday. Purrrr from Quintus, and to Aunty. Muffin and your mother too.

6th December 2017 Purrs Elgar, I am sorry your human is unhappy. I hope she is feeling better today. I nudged my human and she weighed me. She says I am 12lbs, but our scales are not as good as yours. We will try again. My last letter was a bit funny. Maybe the cold does not suit me! I know I have been indoors much more than usual. Fresh air is good for my thinking. (But not too cold).I hope Aunty Muffin is more happy . I s she sick too or just worried about your human. My human says yours has got pneumonia. Perhaps it’s called that because it makes them feel moany. Is yours moany or just sad? Please give Aunty Muffin a nose rub from me, and of course to you. Lots of purrs, Quintus

Oooh Elgar, what do you think of this white stuff they call snow? When I was a kitten I liked to play in it, but this morning I only stayed out briefly, It is still snowing and the trees look as if they are dressed in white, though I am going to curl up on my chair soon. A time called Christmas will be here soon I think. Maybe you will get a present then. I was given a funny mouse like thing but it was not alive, but it had a wonderful scent, which made me play with it as if it was alive. The humans have more things but I liked the paper and ribbon best, and there can be a useful box. They do odd things like put a tree inside and then hang things on it. I thought these were for playing with, but my human says NO! She  was very cross when I tried to claim the . (But that was when I was a kitten). I still play with the hanging things when there is no-one there, though usually they shut the door. I don’t think you should try to climb the indoor tree if you have one as I think you would be too heavy for it. I look forward to hearing your you. Purrrrrrs to Aunty Muffin and your mother, and a nose rub to you. Quintus.

10th December 2017 Dear Uncle Quintus Thank yous got your letter. It is very cold outside isn’t it? Mother, Aunty Muffin & I stayed with our hooman for a Very long time – she didn’t go to sleep very early – not su/purrre why, but she’s kept us all up until about birdie time – but I waz on her lap downstairs whilst she was awake so I go so many cuddles that I ignored the birds & we all slept in until this afternoon. Hooman is cross with herself for not sleeping at what she thinks are the right times to sleep – I don’t understand this as any time is a good time for 40winks! I has been better behaved & have been rewarded for it – so until it becomes boring I will carry on – last night I was chasing treats all around her bedroom! The girls were boring on the bed eating their pile so delicately! Pooh girls are silly! I think it is much more fun to chase my bits of treats – sometimes I miss a bit & find it later!

Hooman wants to know how much of my special food you have left? She said something about presents – which I am confused about a bit – but I think you will get some for your present. I tried to help her do some drawing yesterday – but it seems my paws are just a bit too wide to hold a pencil – I can hold the furminator and it remove some loose fur around my face – I is very clever to do this – neither of the girls can do it! I’m off upstairs to preheat the bed – hee hee what she doesn’t see she can’t worry about! miaory purrs  – Keep Warm Elgar XXX

Dear Elgar,

I think you are too young to realise that humans are not as well adapted as we felines. They do not seem to have our ability to just let go and curl up and sleep. They mainly seem to sleep when it is dark. Poor things, I think it’s because their eyes are not as good as ours.

You must be aware that if you want her to go on serving you let her have a good night’s sleep.

I speak from experience.

Purrs from Quintus

These are letters from Quintus son of Tinto, sister of Muffin. Q is the 5th kit in her litter. He chose to reply to a kitten called Elgar(son of Arya) who was very confused about Humans (hoomans). Their letters span several years 2017 - 2018 On 12 October 2017 Dear Elgar, I think you are too young to realise that humans are not as well adapted as we felines.

[tbzhours]

would you kiss me?

juyeon x you, best friends to lovers au, fluff 

[summary] juyeon gets to be your ‘plus one’ for a wedding, the only problem is that he doesn’t know about it  [words] 2.5k  [a/n] who doesn’t want a bestie to lover like juyeon? :( hope you like this ♡

It’s summer and that means it’s wedding season! You were always excited to dress up for this occasion, whether it was a family member’s or a friend’s wedding. You especially love going out to shop with your best friend since middle school, Juyeon, to spice up the show. Just kidding but this time, it was one of your uncles that was getting married. Since Juyeon was always invited to your family’s events because he used to live next door to you (it’s only been a few months since he moved away and he can’t stand your “i miss you” texts), so that means he’s automatically going. You were actually nervous about this invitation though. The wedding would be on a cruise and to your soon-to-be aunt-in-law, it meant the world to her. 

You recalled your aunt’s words the night of her pre-wedding party: “A wedding on a cruise means more than a typical one. If you bring your plus one, I expect that to be serious because I’m the one paying for every single person on that boat.” 

You didn’t tell Juyeon because if he’s going then, does that mean he’s your plus one? You both always go to places together but somehow, you convinced yourself that it shouldn’t matter because he’s already like family to you. 

That ‘plus one’ thing never came to you anymore as you woke up on the morning of the wedding, hitting your alarm off at 8AM. You turned to your side and sighed into the sweet sun shining through your room. Your lips curved before you got up to wash up for a little breakfast eat out with Juyeon. 

You heard his car honking when you were fixing your shoes. You rolled your eyes when he honked again, feeling playful teases when you opened the door and ran to him. You opened the passenger door and sat beside him, a mad jump before you glared at him. 

“Was that necessary?” 

“Yes because we’re late.” He was smiling when he saw you fix your seatbelt on. You met his eyes when you turned his way. 

“You’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood up.” 

He leaned closer to you and pointed his finger, almost bopping your nose. “All because of you.” 

You leaned in to bite it but he was too fast. A giggle slipped from his lips as you crossed your arms. You guessed he could keep teasing you because he chose to take you out for some waffles before the wedding anyway. 

What you loved about this cafe was that it was felt very antique. Most of the tables and seats were laminated in wood and the walls were like a shady white. I loved the old frames around the room and the stools the most as you twisted, sitting on one to face Juyeon, who was grinning at you playing with the seat. 

“Have you ever been on a cruise?” You asked, your eyes shimmering from the crystal-lights behind the grilling counter in front of you. 

“Yes but have you ever been on a cruise for a wedding?” 

“First time today.” You played along as your laughs filled your ears. You sighed, leaning on your palm with your elbow resting on the counter. “I’m so excited. Everything sounds so romantic already.” 

“Not as romantic as eating waffles in the morning.” He was humming into a savory sound. His eyes looked away, imagining all of his words becoming true. “With a side of fruits and creamy chocolate, topped with whipped cream and syrup, that’s the taste of love.” 

“You should write a book about that.” Your eyes widened to the side, quite surprised because you only knew about how much you both love coming here. He didn’t comment about the food in details before other than it being good. And how funny, the food came right up. 

Juyeon took a bite of his food and he turned to you with those dreamy lips. He was still chewing, obviously having no words about it right now. You giggled, shaking your palm at him as you tried not to let any food slip from your mouth. 

“Don’t tell me anything. Just eat.” 

Juyeon giggled at your instinct about what he was going to do next. He took a sip of his drink before he turned to you with the smartest question in mind, “Do you think they will have waffles on the cruise?” 

You shook your head with your judging eyes at him. “No? Food will be served for dinner, not breakfast.” 

He leaned closer to you and with his witty look, he whispered with a hand covering his cheek, “I’ll just sneak in some.” 

You both arrived right on time. Actually, it was more like ten minutes before the cruise gets off the shore. You could almost blame Juyeon for getting to your place so late so he could drive you there. It was all because he forgot how to tie a tie. No matter how many times you taught him, he still purposely mess it up so you could fix it for him. Once he parked his car, your magic hands did its work. 

You sighed, patting it before you looked up at Juyeon. He looked very good tonight, you thought. It must be that suit he’s wearing. You smiled; at least you got one thing off your mind because now it’s time to enjoy the night for your uncle and new aunt-in-law. 

Everything went on smoothly as you both entered the cruise, amazed at how beautiful each floor was set up. You had a thought that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have your wedding on a cruise. Well, that was if you were going to get married in the future. 

You and Juyeon were suddenly met by the bride and groom at the third floor where the dance floor was. Above it was where the walk was going to take place. It had a nice opening view of the ocean where you couldn’t wait to go up there again.��

Your aunt was surprised to see Juyeon, who she hadn’t met as much as your uncle. After all of the explanation about him and welcoming greetings, you sensed that it was already time to head up. As you walked away with Juyeon, you thought you heard your aunt asking if Juyeon was your significant other, to which your uncle replied, “Only they would know.” 

That was how the plus one thing came back to you, making your heart rush throughout the whole time in that boat. 

Juyeon was having a good time there, you noticed from afar, seeing him talking with some of your relatives and friends. You really hoped to not bump into the newly weds until the party was over. 

After the ceremony, bouquet toss, and dinner, it was time for entertainment. The third floor was filled with music and people dancing. Juyeon was nodding along to the music, smiling at the sight of people having fun until he realized you weren’t at his side. He looked around the room, trying to look for you. He stood up, walking up to the top floor where he found you all alone, sitting on one of the empty tables near the edges of the boat. 

Up there was quite romantic if Juyeon had a say about it. There was a line of fairy lights coming from the tip of the boat to the back windows of the mechanics. There were also lights coming from the far city side of the beach and the sound of the ocean waves collected into the cool air along with the upbeat song that was playing from below. 

Seeing your soft profile, he walked up to you with a smile peeking from his lips. 

“Why are you up here and not dancing down there?” You turned to the sound of his voice, your face lighting up at the sight of him. You beamed a smile, turning back to the ocean. 

“I love looking at the ocean. It calms me down.” You confessed. Juyeon didn’t remember if you ever told him that but he nodded, writing this fact down in his brain before he walked up to you. As surprised as you should be, he kneeled on one leg so he could face you. You had a thought that he was going to propose to you, your mind went: not at this wedding! 

Maybe he could read it on your face, like something was bothering you when he softly blinked at you with that little smile. “What’s on your mind?” 

He always asked that when you try to avoid him. This time for you, it was something different. You couldn’t seem to make up what you wanted to tell him when you smiled back at him, assuring him. “Nothing really.” 

You were rubbing your curled fingers into your palms as he waited for you to continue. Suddenly, the song you requested came on from the dance floor. Your eyes jotted up at him, your lips opened in shock. 

“Oh my gosh, they’re playing my song?” You almost shouted, covering your mouth after. Juyeon had a confused look on his face, wondering what was going on. You removed your hand and you were ready to tell him what you meant. “My aunt asked for a few songs to play at her wedding and I suggested this song and wow, I didn’t expect it to be played at all.” 

He giggled, finding you a little cute tonight. That was when he stood up, taking a hand out in front of you. He wondered why you chose such a sweet slow song when your eyes looked up at his, shimmering again against the moon in the night sky. “Would you take this dance then?” 

It took you three seconds, staring at how romantic Juyeon really was before you slowly took his hand. His hand tightened quick, pulling you up as you followed his steps to the center of the floor, right under the fairy lights. In position with your hands finding the right places and your feet beginning to move to the slow beat of the song, you almost giggled. 

“This feels funny.” 

“Why do you think that?” He tilted his head with his voice softly asking. 

“Because we haven’t danced together before.. But I like it.” You smiled, a soft stuffy sound coming through your nose before he hummed, wondering what you meant. You sighed quietly as you continued, hearing the ocean waves through the song. “Being with you makes me calm, like this whole day was supposed to be fun, relaxed… I don’t know why I keep feeling nervous.” 

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” There Juyeon went again. You really had to tell him now. Taking a deep breath after seeing his concerning eyes, you finally told him. 

“Well, my aunt-in-law was saying how whoever I bring to this ‘special’ wedding cruise, I had to be in a serious relationship with them.” 

His hand tightened with yours as he smiled, trying to make it obvious that he enjoyed hearing you say that. “Are we not?” 

“We’re not.” You sighed, not knowing how he would feel about you. Your eyes wandered at your dancing feet as you didn’t have a thought that he might feel the same. 

“Should we be now?” Juyeon asked, hiding a happy smile when he looked back at you. Thinking back about how beautiful you looked when you came out of your house, he was reminded of how you started to shine in his eyes. Shyly in a sweet tone, he confessed, “Honestly, I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I just didn’t know how to tell you about it.” 

“Hey, so it was secret?” It was a fact that you both never keep secrets from each other though you never knew such secret could make your lips tremble. 

He pouted, making a point as he leaned a little closer. “You kept this ‘plus one’ thing a secret too.” 

“Fine.” You pouted away. It was this obvious that you both were falling for each other. You just realized it now, but you wondered if it would change anything. Your lips were hesitating about it working the way you want. 

“If you don’t want to change lanes, I’ll be cool with that.” Juyeon shrugged and you never thought he would be such a good slow dancer with that shoulder inclusion. 

“What are we? Cars?” You chuckled before he smirked at you, an annoyed look at your lame joke. You sighed one more time, maybe feeling like you should confess right now too. “I won’t. I mean, the fact that I brought you over to this “special” wedding, you didn’t guess how I felt about you?” 

“I didn’t know how special it was until you told me just now?” His eyes were siding to you as you hid your lips. 

“You’re right.” You shook your head to yourself with your eyes closing at how dumb you were. No more hiding secrets then. You were starting to feel like your relationship with him was going rock bottom at your no-secret promises. 

As if Juyeon was waiting for you to open your eyes, you glanced up at him as he requested. “Then can I kiss you?” 

Your eyebrows moved higher to your forehead, surprised at the appeal. He didn’t give you time when he slowly moved closer to your nose, his eyes never leaving your lips. You stayed still, closing your eyes with his until your lips touched. You adored how his hand at your waist pulled you to him, locking your bodies together and the other tickling your palm, still out in the air at your sides. To feel him so close, you felt like you were in a dream, a dream where things like this would only appear in your head. With your song still playing, you thought this moment was too perfect that you almost lost your breath when he moved back. 

“So we serious now?” You whispered, your breath touching his lips for the second time. He had a thinking look, his lips slightly stretched before they were at ease. He nodded once, making your heart race faster than when your lips brushed. “Shit, I’m getting nervous again.” 

Juyeon hugged you, wrapping both arms around your back with his head resting on your shoulder. You could feel his smile as your cheeks head up against his chest. 

“I guess I don’t need to explain to my aunt about us then.” You mumbled then you sighed, “And I’m so glad I didn’t catch that bouquet.” 

Juyeon laughed at your tone. “We didn’t need that to prove your love for me.” 

“I didn’t mean that.” Your face flushed in red even more when you got off his chest. Meeting sweet smile under his shining eyes, you wished he would stop making you blush. 

“Then let me.” Juyeon kissed you one more time under the moonlight as you could hear the cheers from the floor below when the song ended. It felt as if they were waiting for you to finally confess to him, almost like exchanging vows. You didn’t want to think about that just yet when you kissed him back. He could feel your smile peeking against his lips and knew how much you had wanted to change lanes with him. Of course, putting jokes aside for real this time. 

[39hystericalqueens]

It’s A Hard Life (Brian May x Reader) Chapter 1

This series was written alongside a companion playlist. Each song on the playlist is related to a certain scene or moment within the story and while this fic can 100% be read without the playlist, it adds so much to the story to listen along as you read. Throughout this series, you will see numbers in parentheses within the text. Each number corresponds to a track on the playlist. For example, if you saw: (1), this would mean play the first track on the playlist before continuing on reading. Some of the songs serve to set the mood, some correspond with a song that is actually playing in the story, and some tell part of the story better than I can and so they help to drive the plot. I will say again that you don’t need the playlist to understand and enjoy this fic but I strongly recommend at least checking it out. 

MASTERLIST

Chapter 1

Warnings: Some swearing

A/N: It’s finally here! The first chapter of my Brian May x Reader fic, It’s A Hard Life. I worked really hard on this so I hope you all enjoy! Additionally, I don’t have a taglist yet so if you like what you read please message me and I’ll be sure to tag you in all future installments. 

Word Count: 4.8k (she’s a long first chapter)

October 1969

*beep beep beep*

*beep beep beep*

It never ceased to amaze you how jarring the sound of your alarm clock could be. Loud and unrelenting, it was especially obnoxious this morning because it signaled one thing: the beginning of the week. Grudgingly, you rolled over to check the time. 

6:45 AM

Ugh. In an hour you’d have to be in class, and not just any class. Professor Wesham’s Intermediate Music Theory course was taught at 8am sharp every morning five days a week. Professor Wesham was a rather vile man with a love for discipline, trick questions, and embarrassing his students in front of the rest of the class. He had no interest in being a professor and mentioned that at any moment he saw fit. Rather, he believed that music theory was a subject that very few could teach correctly, and so it was his duty as a musician to impart those teachings upon young students, no matter how much he hated it. If you could have you would have dropped his class after the first week, but for a degree in music performance, all levels of theory were required.

You looked over at the clock again. 

7:02 AM

C’mon Y/N, gonna have to get up sooner or later. 

With quite a bit of effort, you finally pulled yourself up and out of bed and into the first pair of jeans you saw lying on the floor. 

(1)

____

“...so when we’re looking to find a mode of a scale we can look to the intervals for the answers. Each mode has its own unique combination of whole tones and semitones, so if you know the patterns you can accurately alter the scale…”

As expected, class that morning was hellish. A thirty-minute lecture on the basics of modes followed by another twenty minutes of history and you found yourself slowly drifting back to sleep. Your thoughts were soon taken over by memories of being curled up in bed this morning and fantasies of what you would be eating for lunch in a few hours. 

Maybe spaghetti? Or soup? I could really go for soup today. With luck they’ll have that creamy tomato one that I love down at the cafe...

“Miss Y/L/N?!” Professor Wesham’s voice rang out through the lecture hall  

Shit.

“Miss Y/L/N I asked you a question, but it appears as though you can’t be bothered to pay attention to what I’m saying this morning. Have you heard a word of what I’ve said?” 

You opened your mouth to protest, but nothing came out. 

“That’s what I thought. Can anyone else answer my question? Anyone at all? Or are you all just going to sit there and stare at me like a bunch of deadbeats?!” 

Silence filled the hall and for a moment it seemed as though he was about to give up and move on when suddenly he yelled,

“Susie! What is the C Mixolydian scale?”

From the back of the hall, a faint voice answered, 

“It’s the 5th mode of the F major scale, it follows the Mixolydian interval pattern of whole whole semi whole whole semi whole, and the notes are C D E F G A and B flat.” 

“Correct.”

And with that, he moved on forward with the lesson. 

I could have answered that, you thought to yourself, all the bastard needed to do was repeat himself.

You sighed and silently took notes for the rest of the period. 

When class let out you made a beeline for the door, hurrying out of the building and down towards the green commons in front. You didn’t stop walking until you saw the sign for The Cafe. Located right in the center of the music department, The Cafe was your go-to spot. Coffee and pastries in the mornings, sandwiches and soup for lunch, and full-on dinner seven nights a week. Although technically open to the general public, the music students at Ealing had claimed the place for themselves long ago, and you had never seen it empty in your entire time at the college. Today was no exception. You pushed your way in and headed straight for the counter to order. 

“One creamy tomato soup please,” you said to the woman at the counter, and with your table number in hand, you found a small booth in the corner and collapsed into it. 

It had been a particularly difficult week for you. The new term just started a few weeks ago and already your professors were piling on work. Theory worksheets, composition assignments, and three new solos had all been handed to you in the past few weeks, and it wouldn’t have been so bad if you didn’t also have a job that demanded long shifts late at night. You worked at Selmer’s, the music store in town and, due to your schedule, almost exclusively worked the night shifts from  6 until closing at midnight. It wasn’t a bad gig by any means, in fact you really liked working there. You never knew who would walk through the door. One moment it would be a broke uni student popping in to buy new guitar strings and the next it could be a famous musician like Pete Townshend. Okay so maybe not Pete Townshend, but you had once sold Jim McCarty a set of drumsticks. It was your one claim to fame. 

As you ate your soup you enjoyably became lost in your own thoughts, so much so that you didn’t notice when someone sat down across from you. 

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” 

The voice of your best friend Freddie interrupted your quiet contemplation. You loved him to death but sometimes he really had the worst timing. 

The story of how you two met was actually quite funny. It was back in September of last year, the beginning of your first year of uni. The night before classes were set to start you had gone to a party and somehow ended up right in the middle of a game of truth or dare, only the rules had been altered slightly so that anyone who chose truth also had to take a shot. Being the relatively shy person that you were, you hadn’t taken many dares and as a result found yourself to be rather drunk. 

“Alright c’mon Y/N,” said a guy named Greg (he was in your year and studying music as well) “you can’t pick truth forever.”

“Ok fine, dare”

“I dare you,” Greg continued, “to make out with Freddie.” He gestured to a man who appeared to be just as drunk as you were sitting across the circle. He laughed and said, 

“Whenever you’re ready darling, I’ll just be over here waiting.” With a roll of your eyes toward Greg, you had crawled your way across the circle, straddled Freddie’s lap, and started to viciously make out with him to the best of your abilities in your drunken state. 

The next morning you had woken up wickedly hungover and as you walked down the street to find something for breakfast you had bumped into none other than Freddie from the night before. He had laughed at the state of both of you (“we need to make sure that neither one of us ever drinks that much again!”) and offered to take you out to breakfast and the rest was history. It was definitely an odd way to start a friendship, but you two found that you just clicked together. His outspoken nature balanced out your tendencies to sink back into the shadows, and your level-headedness counteracted his love of making decisions on a whim. It really was, at least you two thought so, the perfect friendship. 

“Hello? Y/N? Is anyone home in there?” Freddie continued as you looked up from your food. 

“Hey Fred,” you said, coming to terms with the fact that your time for quiet contemplation was over. “What brings you down here? I thought you had a class way at the other end of campus this morning.” 

“I did. And then I decided that I was feeling a bit peckish and could go for a bowl of The Cafe’s famous tomato soup, even if it is all the way on the other side of school. But this worked out perfectly, me running into you here, because I have something important to tell you!” 

He dramatically reached his hands out and motioned for you to take them in yours. 

“You know I have been following this band called Smile around for ages.” 

You nodded.

“And you know I’ve been begging you to come out and see one of their shows with me” 

Once again you nodded. At least once a month (if not more) Freddie would try and drag you along to one of their shows despite your efforts to tell him that rock concerts really weren’t your thing. 

“Well recently I’ve started to hang around with them properly, them being the band, and we’ve become rather close. You and I both know Tim of course but it’s the other band members that I’ve really started to click with. We’re even talking about getting a flat together. They still won’t let me sing in the band, but that’s an issue for another day. What I need to tell you is that they’re playing a free gig tomorrow night right here at Ealing and you and I are both going!”

You opened your mouth to protest but Freddie kept talking. 

“And don’t even try to get out of this one. I know for a fact that on Tuesdays you only work until 7, and I also know that you don’t have plans afterward because yesterday on the phone you expressed to me just how boring your week was going to be. So unless within the last 24 hours you have made plans to go out late on a Tuesday night after work, you have no excuse not to go with me to this.” 

You stared back at him in disbelief. 

“Alright Fred, you got me fair and square. I will go with you tomorrow,”

“Excellent!” he exclaimed, “I’ll be at Selmer’s to pick you up from work at 7 PM sharp tomorrow. Oh, this is going to be so fun!” 

“Sounds like a plan,” and then you added, “And just because I’m going this time it doesn’t mean you’ll get me to go next time.” 

“Fair enough,” Freddie said, “but you’re going to have so much fun tomorrow night that I won’t even have to ask you to go with me again.” 

And with that he sprung up and made his way over to the counter to order some food, leaving you alone to wonder what on earth you had gotten yourself into. 

——

The store was surprisingly slow for a Tuesday evening. Two hours into your shift and only three people had come in, and all within ten minutes of each other. To kill time you had started reorganizing the reed display, but quickly lost interest and for the past hour and a half you had simply been sitting behind the counter, listening to the old rock n roll music that played in the background, and thinking about nothing in particular. 

(2) 

🎵Without her I will be in misery (oh oh oh)

In misery (ooh ooh ooh)

My misery (la la la la la la) 🎵 

As the song came to a close you heard the bell over the door jingle, alerting you that someone had just walked through the door. You craned your neck around the counter to see a guy with long dirty blond hair looking around frantically as though he had lost something. 

“Hi,” you said, “Welcome to Selmer’s, can I help you find anyth-“

“Guitar strings!” he nearly shouted, “I need guitar strings!” 

“Okay,” you said slowly, “do you have any idea as to which type of strings?” 

“Oh shit...uh, I don’t know. The normal kind I guess? I just need strings!” he once again looked around frantically, eyes finally settling on the clock on the wall behind you. “Shit! I’m so going to be late!” 

“Ok slow down a second,” you said calmly, “what’s all the hurry about? What, are you about to go onstage any second now?” You had meant it as a joke but to your surprise, he screamed, 

“Yes!” 

“Oh shit sorry I didn’t actually think you were- ok, um, so you don’t know the type of string but do you know what model the guitar is?”

“It’s uh...oh dammit I don’t know.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but what kind of guitarist doesn’t know the kind of guitar they play?” 

“I’m not the guitarist,” he said, “I’m the drummer. Our guitarist broke a string like ten minutes ago so I ran out to grab him more while he helped the rest of our band keep setting up.”

“Ah, I see,” you said. “Well since you don’t know which kinds of strings he uses I’ll just give you some Fender 12 gauges. They’re pretty standard, I’ve got a lot of people who use them so hopefully that should be ok.” 

“Yeah, those should be alright.”

You rang up the package and handed it to him. 

“Thank you so much, you just saved our show.”

“My pleasure,” you said as you handed him the strings, “I hope these will work out for you guys tonight, and if not, well then you didn’t buy them here.” 

He laughed at your comment. 

“You’re funny,” he said. “Normally I would stay around and chat, maybe ask for your number, but I do kind of have to be going or else my bandmates will have my head on a spike. But it was great to meet you…uh….”

“Y/N,” you answered his unspoken question. 

“Great to meet you Y/N, I’m Roger.” Is all he said before turning on his heel and sauntering out through the doorway. You could tell he was trying to maintain a cool, laid back composure despite having burst through your door in a panic not ten minutes prior. You laughed to yourself, wondering if you would ever see him again. 

Looking at the clock you saw that it was eight till 7. Freddie would be here any minute. You got right to work closing up the store for the night. You were right in the middle of locking the window display cases when once again you heard the bell over the door ring. 

“Hello darling I hope you’re ready for a concert!” Freddie’s melodious voice sang out. 

“Hey Fred, just give me two more minutes and I’ll be ready to go,” you replied. 

“I have been absolutely restless all day today thinking about tonight,” Freddie continued, “We are going to have so much fun!” 

He made his way over to the counter and leaned against it, facing your back. “I really think you’re going to like their music,” he continued, “they’ve got a very real sound, none of that formulaic clean-cut bullshit.”

“I told you, Freddie,” you said, turning around to face him, “I make no promises as to whether or not I’ll like them. But they do sound quite lovely from the way you describe them.” 

With that, you shut off all the lights, lock up the doors, and the two of you were on your way. 

____

The concert was being held in the student center at Ealing, right in the middle of the campus. On a normal day the large open room was typically used for fundraisers, game nights, and a variety of other student-run activities, but every now and then the school would allow bands to put on shows. As you walked through the door you were immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people packed into the room. All the tables and chairs had been pushed to the sides making it so it was barely possible to sit down, though there were a few people who had managed to squeeze themselves into a seat. You were about to follow their lead, your eyes fixed on an empty table close to the back, but Freddie grabbed you by the arm and pulled you both up to the very front. 

“Do we really have to be this close, Fred? I can hear just as well from back there,” you said, gesturing towards the table you had so lovingly had your eye on. 

“Darling we’re seeing a rock concert, not the symphony, it’s not just about being able to hear them. Watching them play and being right up in the middle of things is all part of the experience.” 

You looked at him rather quizzically. 

“Alright, but if I get my ears blown out tonight it’s your fault.”

“That’s the spirit! Now I’m going to go and get us both something to drink. I’ll be right back.” 

As you watched your friend disappear into the crowd of students you turned to focus your attention on the stage in front of you.  They had taken the small stage that permanently stayed in the back of the student center and never usually saw anything more exciting than experimental theater pieces put on by the drama students, and had completely transformed it into something out of a whimsical fever dream. Brightly colored metallic fabrics had been draped over the dingy, dust-filled curtain that hung behind the stage. In the center of the stage sat a drum kit with a giant red-lipped smile on the bass drum. To the side, there were two guitars on stands, a pretty standard bass guitar, which you recognized as Tim’s, and a guitar which you had never seen the likes of before. It was a bright cherry red color with a black pickguard and it was oddly round in shape. You had been working at a well-stocked music store for nearly two years now and had never seen any guitar that remotely resembled it before. To top it all off you saw that they had covered the lights facing the stage with different colored translucent films, further adding to the whimsical ambiance. 

You know, this actually seems like it’s going to be a lot of fun. Dammit, Fred, why’d you have to be right. 

You shook your head to yourself and began to look around to see if you could see Freddie anywhere when suddenly everyone started clapping. 

The band was making its way onstage. On bass, there was Tim Staffell. He went to Ealing, studying graphic design, and was a good friend of Freddie’s. The three of you often went out together for drinks. You then looked over to see the man behind the drum kit and couldn’t believe what you saw. Sitting there was Roger, the guy you had sold guitar strings to mere hours ago. 

“Ha!” You said aloud.

“What’s so funny?” Interjected Freddie, who had just appeared next to you holding two beers. 

“I know the drummer,” you said. 

“You know Roger?”

“Yeah,” you continue, chuckling, “I sold him guitar strings a few hours ago. He was in a right panic about it. Apparently, their guitarist broke one earlier and didn’t have any extras on hand.”

“Brian didn’t have any extra strings on him? That must have really caused a panic, I don’t think Brian has ever forgotten anything in his entire life.” 

“I’m assuming Brian is the guitarist?”

“Yeah, and he’s bloody brilliant at it. There he is right there.” Freddie pointed to the man standing on the right of the stage. He was incredibly tall and lanky, with a head full of unruly curly brown hair and deep brown eyes. He was wearing black pinstriped trousers and a white top which he had accessorized with the most interesting looking fuzzy vest. He exuded the most peculiar combination of confidence and recluse, and as he stood there fiddling with his guitar you couldn’t help but think he was the most beautiful person you had ever seen. 

You turned to say something to Freddie, but before you could get any words out Tim had started talking into the microphone. 

“Hello Ealing!” He shouted. He was met with a resounding chorus of cheers and whoops from the crowd. “We are Smile!” More cheers. “You all know me, I’m Tim Staffell, over there on guitar we have Brian May, and back there on the drums is Roger Taylor. We’ve got a good set for you tonight, all originals except for a few, and we’re going to start with a song called Step On Me.” 

At once they struck up an upbeat tune and it didn’t take long for the audience to start dancing and singing along with them. 

(3)

🎵Know what I said when I saw you crying

Hang on that’s folly

I was weak in the head out to meet your lying

You’re just a bad memory 

My life was going to be better

My why did I never ever see she’d step on me🎵

As you listened to them sing you couldn’t help but nod and dance along with the rest of the audience. Fred was right again, they really did have a sound the likes of which you had never heard before. Not only were their harmonies perfectly in tune, but they had an almost angelic quality to them that pulled you in, wanting to hear more. 

“Well now look who’s actually having a good time,” Freddie said to you as they finished their first song. I knew you would like them. 

“They really are something else,” you said, “although I would probably like them even more if I weren’t surrounded by so many people right now.” 

Freddie laughed. 

“I guess I’ll have to talk to Tim about getting you a private show then.”  

They went from song to song, each one more enjoyable than the last, and while you tried to keep your attention from wavering, you kept finding yourself drawn to Brian the guitarist. Freddie hadn’t been lying when he said that Brian was bloody brilliant at what he did. You watched him easily play his way through several guitar solos, making them sound effortless, though with your musical knowledge (and by the look on his face) you could tell that they were anything but that. He played with a look of concentration on his face, never wavering except for the few times he looked up and out into the crowd. It was then, you noticed, that a small smile would cross his face. 

All too soon Tim was at the microphone again, announcing that this would be their last song. You felt as if you could continue to listen to their music for hours and wished to yourself that the show wasn’t over yet. 

“You all have been such a great crowd tonight,” Tim went on, “and so to finish we’re going to be bringing you everyone’s favorite: Doing Alright!” 

If you thought you had liked the songs they had played the rest of the night, then you loved this one. It started out with a slow ballad, complete with more complex guitar work, but as it went on it morphed into hard rock with grit and feeling. You thought the juxtaposition of the two styles was a daring choice seeing as it would be easy to mess up, but they did it with such grace and style so that it completely worked. When the song finally came to a close and the band took their bows you joined in with the thunderous applause and cheering. 

“Fred, I’ve got to say it: I really did enjoy myself tonight. It was a little loud and crowded for my liking but I think the music and the show were able to make up for it, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll come with you again.”

“Oh that’s wonderful darling! I knew tonight was going to be a success. But it’s not quite over yet.”

“No?”

“Of course not! You didn’t think you were going to get away without meeting the band, also known as my new friends. C’mon, they’re probably around somewhere outside packing up.”

You and Freddie fought your way through the crowds of students to get to the door and out into the night air. As Freddie had said, you found Tim and Roger sitting on the back of a van which you could see was full up of their equipment. Brian was nowhere in sight. 

“Freddie! So glad you could make it!” Exclaimed Roger, standing up. “And,” he turned to you, “I don’t believe it. Y/N from the music store, why on earth didn’t you tell me you were coming to the show tonight?” 

“Mostly because I had no idea this was your band,” you replied, laughing. “Freddie here has been after me to see and meet you guys for ages.” 

“And,” said Roger, “what do you think?”

“Coming from someone who doesn’t tend to enjoy rock concerts, I thought you guys were wonderful. I did not expect to enjoy myself tonight as much as I did. I think you’ve really got something special here.”

“You flatter us too much,” said Tim, “if you keep talking like that we’re all gonna get big heads. And Roger’s is big enough as is.”

“Hey!” said Roger, but he smiled. 

“So,” you continue, “Freddie said you guys are thinking about getting a flat together?”

“Yeah, Brian and I found this place up the road a little, Brian’s our guitarist by the way,” said Roger. 

At the mention of his name, you could feel your heart flutter slightly in your chest.

“Freddie mentioned him,” you said, “Did the strings end up working out for him?”

“I thought they were fine, but Bri gets particular about these things. I guess they were the wrong brand or gauge or something like that. He kept going on about how he was going to sound awful tonight and his sound was going to be too abrasive.”

“Well yes, different strings are going to give you different sounds and I don’t know what he usually uses, but you guys sounded just great to me.”

Part of you desperately wanted to ask where he was right now, but you decided against it. 

Against your better judgment, you had let Freddie convince you to stay around and talk with him, Tim, and Roger for a while longer. In that time you learned that Roger was studying to be a dentist at London Hospital Medical School, and Brian was over at the Imperial College studying, as Roger put it, “some sort of space physics.” 

“He’s real into all that,” Roger continued, “but I can’t say the same for myself. I get good marks and all that, professors think I have a lot of ‘promise’, whatever that means, but a dentist for the rest of my life? I’m not sure I could handle that. Nah, I’m hoping to stay in rock n roll for as long as I can. What about you? You’re over at Ealing with Fred and Tim, right? Are you another graphic design nerd like these guys?”

“No, music actually. Nothing like what you guys do,” you added, seeing Roger’s face light up, “classical repertoire mostly. I play the flute.”

“You any good?”

“I suppose that’s a matter of opinion. Personally, I tend to think I’m shit, but you ask any music student and they’ll tell you the same thing.”

“Oh don’t be like that, Y/N,” interjected Freddie, “she’s bloody marvelous. She can play you Bach like you’ve never heard before, although Roger I don’t think you have ever heard it before.”

“Oh come off it, I’ve heard my fair share of the classical stuff.”

“Yes, next time you go to the symphony be sure to refer to it as ‘the classical stuff’ I’m sure you won’t get any funny looks at all.”

You and Tim howled with laughter at Freddie’s comment while Roger gave him a good punch in the shoulder. 

“Dear god, look at the time,” you said a moment later after having glanced at your watch. “Is it really two thirty in the morning?!”

“I suppose it is,” said Tim, “sure hasn’t felt that long.”

“I’ve really got to be going then,” you said.

“Aw c’mon stay out for a little longer with us,” said Tim, “Fred and I hardly get to see you anymore.”

“I know, and I wish that I could, but I’ve got class at 8 tomorrow morning and I should at least try to get some sleep.”

“Oh alright go on, we know you’re right,” said Freddie, “I should probably be going myself, I am quite exhausted.”

“See ya later Fred,” said Roger, “great to see you again, Y/N. You should come round to the flat once we get it, we’d all love to see you again and you can meet Brian as well.”

The flutter was back. 

“I definitely will,” you replied before giving them all a wave and starting back to your own flat. 

[loridrabbles]

Imprisoned | Dogma x Reader (Part 5)

Dogma convinces the reader to care for her painful wounds and illness. They bond over a game of checkers until they are interrupted by a concerning request.

     The lesions on (y/n)'s body hadn't gotten much better in the passing days. What hadn't scabbed up had turned brown and yellow and began to drip. They were running out of cloth and more weren't supposed to be given to them for a few more days.

     "Look, (y/n). I know it hurts, but you have to clean them. Plus, you're still dirty from the dusty yard. I promise you'll feel better" Dogma pleaded with her. 

     "Fine." She said. She closed her eyes and groaned. As he turned on the warm water in the refresher to fill the iron tub, she took off her jumper. Her grey t shirt underneath had brown blotches and stains on it where it was now stuck to her wounds. She struggled to pull it up over her head.

     "Here." Dogma said grabbing the hem. He tugged on it, stopping when he heard her cry in discomfort. Fibers from the shirt were sticking to her wounds, some of them ingrained into the flesh from sleeping on them. With each tug, the fabric was pulled from her body, painfully ripping from the flesh.

     "I'm sorry." He said kissing the back of her head. "But it's off now."

     She lowered herself into the lukewarm water breathing a sigh of relief when it made contact with her burning, itchy wounds. Dogma knelt next to th tub and handed her a soapy cloth to clean her wounds with. It didn't sting as badly as she expected, but the dried blood that had crusted up was washed away.

     "You were right. It does feel better." She said closing her eyes and taking a deep, contented breath.

     "Let me see your shoulder." He said, moving closer, taking the cloth. Gently, he patted at the unreachable cut, clearing it of dirt and dust. "Is that ok?"

     "Yeah. It hurts a little, but not bad." She said as she played with the water at her fingertips.

     "Your face is red." He said when she turned back to face him. "Are you running a fever? That one wound on your shoulder *does* look infected."

     "Maybe." She answered. "I'm exhausted."

     "Let me feel." He said. He took her head in his hands and pressed his lips to her forehead. She was burning up. "Definitely. Do you feel ok?"

     "I don't know."

     "We need to get rid of this fever." He said reaching his hand into the water and pulling the drain plug. Once the tub was empty, he turned the faucet back on, filling the tub with cold water. 

     "Dogmaaa." She complained. "Its freezing."

     "I know. But you have to get rid of that fever and the infection. Sit in here for a half hour or so." He said standing up. He turned to leave the room, but (y/n) stopped him.

     "Wait." She said leaning on the edge of the tub reaching up on arm making grabby hands at him. "You need a bath too."

     "I'm not taking a cold bath." He laughed at her.

     "If I have to do it, you do to." She said.

     "No. I can wait." He rolled his eyes humorously.

     "Pleeeease." She begged.

     "You're not gonna stop until I do are you?"

     "Nope." She said. He sighed, pulling off his shirt along with the rest of his clothing and stepped into the freezing water with her.

     "Uhg. I did make it freezing on you didn't I?"

     "Mmhm." She hummed, readying a cloth with soap. 

     She pressed it against his back, spreading the smooth lather around his skin. He leaned into her touch and she noticed faint pink scars left over from when he had a run in with the same guards, or perhaps some of them were from war. When her hand trailed around to his chest, he leaned her head on his back. He turned around taking the cloth from her and set it on the edge of the tub. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned back against the edge of the basin. Laying down, he grabbed her hands, intertwining his fingers with hers.

     Even though she asked him to join her, it wasn't awkward like she had anticipated. She was hoping the closeness they shared to break the tension left between them. After a while, Dogma heard the slot on the bottom of the door open then close, so he left the refresher to see what they had been given. He toweled off, got dressed and left the room, telling her to stay put for a little longer.

     Twenty minutes later, she was done with her bath and she stood in the refresher wrapped in a clean towel Dogma had handed to her when he heard her getting out of the water. She put on her undergarments and went to grab her shirt, but Dogma had it in his hands. He dunked it under the running water in the sink.

     "What are you doing?" She asked, confused.

     "You need to keep those cuts moist. Also, this should help keep it from sticking again." He said, wringing out the excess water. "If you get too cold you can have my shirt instead. They didn't give us new clothing today."

      He gave it to her and she put it on over her head. It was freezing, but felt good. She skipped her pinafore and sat on the bench on the tshirt.

     "Any idea what time it is?" She asked.

     "Well they slid breakfast under the door so...maybe 8am." He said picking up the two trays. For prison, the food could be worse. For breakfast they were usually given bread and juice. Sure it was dry, but better than rotten or pureed. They sat and picked at their food, when (y/n) noticed a cloth bag on the shelf behind him. She picked it up and inside of it was a checked cloth and rubber game pieces.

     "What is it?" He asked peeling open a carton of juice.

     "Checkers. You ever play?" She asked, sitting back down and spreading out the burlap game board

    "Rarely. Sometimes there were games like that at 79's we would bet on."

     "Rules. Each turn we have to ask eachother a question and we have to answer honestly. And. Mandatory jumping."

     "You're on." He said. The game started amd soon after, they were really getting into it.

     "Ok. Jeez I can't think of a question." She said, moving her next piece. "Crap." She said, realizing she moved where she would be jumped no matter what.

     Forgetting their attempt at a conversation, they both became infatuated with the game. Back and forth under their own rule of mandatory jumping when possible. Shortly after (y/n) won in a landslide.

     "Are you letting me win or do you actually suck at this?" She asked laughing.

     "Ehh. A little bit of both." He said resetting the board.

     "Ok. This time we have to play right. In between each move we have to ask a question."

     "Ok. I'll ask first." He said sarcastically as he moved a piece on the board. "So. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done. At least during the war."

     "Oh man. There's just so many." She said, making Dogma laugh so hard his sides hurt. "I can't think of one that's funny. I mean a lot of things embarrass me but other people wouldn't find them embarrassing at all. Ok. I feel like this happens to everyone, but when you're talking to someone really important, like I was talking to Anakin and had something in my teeth."

     "Yes that's definitely happened to me."

     "But I had something black right between my front teeth and in the same conversation kept stumbling over my words over and over again."

     "Ok that is pretty bad."

     "Your turn. What's your most embarrassing moment?"

     "Calling Captain Rex, Commander Rex." He admitted, shaking his head.

     "Ouch." She said sucking air through her teeth.

     "Not only the mixup of words, but rubbing it in that he's not a commander."

     "Ahg. I'm embarrassed for you." She laughed.

     "Ok. Top 3 things on your bucket list?" He asked, jumping her.

     "Hmm. 1 Travel the galaxy and experience all the different cultures. 2 Have kids and start a family. 3 Get out of jail free." She said. They both erupted in laughter. 

     "Your turn."

     "Ok well-" She started to think of a question when suddenly, the lights went out leaving them in complete darkness. Moments later a red light turned on over the door to the cell and slowly flashed on and off, on and off. A blaring voice sounded over a speaker.

     "(Y/n)(L/n). Please stand at the door."

[diary-ni-graxia-blog]

LEVEL 24 // September 9, 2019

this is my birthday gift to myself. a blog. where i can write my thoughts, my dreams. i should’ve done this the traditional way, a diary but my handwriting is fugly.

i don’t think anyone will ever read this except me so i’ll pour my heart into this blog. also my english is not that good, so this blog is for my eyes only heh

so, what happened on my birthday?

my birthday celebration is not that awesome, easily forgotten, very simple, and it is just a normal day...

the night before my birthday, i was chatting with my boyfriend. i thought he’s gonna greet me at 12am but he fell asleep. it’s ok though, i understand. he was tired that day because he went for a ride. he can still greet me the next day, and he’ll be riding 4-5 hours to see me and celebrate my birthday. ♥

i woke up around 8am, my family greeted me. my mom prepared breakfast, and we ate, just like we always do every day. (sometimes i prepare our breakfast)

i logged in on facebook, i actually hide my birthday there so no one would be notified that it is my birthday. i also disabled my friends on posting on my timeline, i just dont want them greeting me haha. its not that weird, i just dont want too much attention just because it my birthday. 

BUT my two bestfriends in the whole wide world posted their birthday greetings on their timeline and tagged me. their greetings was actually funny and made me smile and my mom mad haha. they said in their posts that they really love me and wished a happy birthday, and they really wanted me to get married married soon (next year) so they can go home here to attend my wedding (elija is in canada. kristel is in macau. long distance besties). below is the screen shot of their greetings:

...moving on

my boyfriend arrived here around 11am. i was in my bed, jamming to afterglow by taylor swift. i didn’t noticed him because i was really jamming so hard to taylor. and there he was, my magnetic force of a man, in my feet smiling and greeted me a happy birthday. ♥

we hung out there in my bed, cuddling ♥ and more cuddling hehe. he loveeees to cuddle.

at around 1pm, we went to the market to fetch some food for my celebration, some cake. payat, our dog, who always always with us whenever we go to market (market is just walking distance, maybe 100-200 steps from our house), he went with us and HE GOT HIT BY A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE!!!! my heart went racing so hard. he got out of the motorcycle and run home. we didnt go after him, i just texted my mom about what happened and that she should check up payat. she said payat is ok and that we should not worry too much. this is payat:

...moving on,

we ate barbecues, we drank milk tea (i like milk tea but not that much, i didnt even finished my drink). then we went to get malabon, and went home.

we dropped the malabon, and the milk tea at home and went again to buy cake (we are now riding the motor). we saw sheena, a friend of mine, my bf and i didnt know what to do haha, we were shocked, i shouldve invited her when we saw her but everything happened so fast. so i just chatted her to come to our house to celebrate..

 more cuddling in the house with my love...

fast forward...

sheena came together with kim, we drank some cockatails (HAHA its just a gin+gatorade+sprite+dalandan juice), we got tipsy, we ate, we laugh, we danced, we tell stories. it was FUN.

IT WAS LOWKEY A GOOD BIRTHDAY. HAPPY 24 TO ME. ♥

 the end. lovelots ♥ g

[wanna1things]

College! Hwang Minhyun

Genre;; fluff + college au!!

Warnings;; none unless you don’t like ducklings and a certain mr hwang

Pairing;; Hwang Minhyun x reader

Requested;; NO i just found this in the notes on my phone and i NEED to post this

Summary;; Minhyun is very… mysterious. Until you catch him with some ducks...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1400

masterlist • request rules • request something

I DONT KNOW WHY I NEVER POSTED THIS i just found it and started cryinf it’s such a cute au bye i- also omg i’m posting this so much earlier than usually sdfjdshf oops

mr hwang minhyun is a mystery in your college

everyone knows of him but not many people KNOW him,, he has a very close knit group of friends

which you’re… not a part of at least not right now

but what you do know is that he majors in education because well,, he really likes working with children,, and minors in music,,

and everyone is convinced it’s the other way around because well… hwang minhyun has a godly voice and well he also plays piano amazingly??

most people know him as the guy who always seems a little cold unless you spot him with,, his amigos aron minki dongho and jonghyun

and honestly you’ve seen his smile before when he’s around them and its really cute ;; even if he does look like he has no emotions whatsoever the rest of the time

he’s in a couple of your classes for music composition so… you’ve heard him sing and ok no spoilers but BIG CRUSH

his voice is honestly?? one of the most beautiful you’ve heard?? you literally couldn’t help but fall for him

it also helped that he’s BEAUTIFUL

but he’s one of those lifesavers,,

once there was a test and almost everyone forgot about it until the day before

but he photocopied and handed out his basic notes without even,, complaining,,

tbh you suspect jonghyun was behind it but

anyway

Minhyun is always The Most Invested In Class

sometimes you look over at him and he’s furiously making notes and you’re just like,,, wow…. the motivation… while you’re trying not to fall asleep

and after class he always runs off somewhere super fast like

even if you wanted to catch him nope!! he’s off! tight schedule!!

don’t tell anyone he’s actually just going to hang out with his bros at the science lab

anywayyyyy

one day it’s raining suuuuuuper hard and you’re on the way back to your dorm when you hear some… quacks…

so you stopped walking and looked around for the source of this suspicious duck noise

when you hear this soft voice whisper

“please stop following me i’m not your mum”

so of course you go in search of the owner of this whispery and strangely familiar voice and… the ducks

and as you turn the corner there... is minhyun

THE hwang minhyun you’ve never spoken to from you music class,,

followed by a trail of baby ducks??

he looks up and spots you and looks you right in the eyes

and he is PLEADING for your help like

the poor guy does not know what to do with these cute little ducklings

so you approach him,,

“where did you get all these ducklings from??”

he sighs and looks down at his feet

which are surrounded by little duckies

“I was helping out Minki in biology…”

minki? Ducks? This is new

“He made them think i’m their mother…”

you almost fall on the floor laughing and minhyun just looks so,, dejected

“seriously!! what do I do with these ducks, y/n?!”

woah okay?? since when did he know your name?? you’ve never even spoken before?? THE hwang minhyun knows your name??

and he picked up all the ducks in his hands and omg

you have to admit it was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

so of course you help him out and invite him back to your room

and you give him a couple boxes with blankets to put the ducklings in

and then… they start to QUACK (kwak haha sorry i’ll show myself out)

his face lights up because they’re really cute and oh my god minhyun you’re even cuTER

but then something clicks in his head and he looks you straight in the eye uh oh

“can you keep them… my roommate will murder me if i bring back baby ducklings…”

and you’re just like

“what? and you think mine won’t?”

but of course you take them because it’s minhyun… nobody could say no even if they tried he’d pull a fake sad face

so you put them down on your bedside table and turn to face minhyun again

and now,, awkward silence

seriously why hasn’t he left yet you took the ducks what is he doing??

suddenly he sits down on your bed next to you and takes hold of your hand

heaRT RACING PEOPLE!!

and he looks deeeeeeep into your eyes and you’re like gosh minhyun I only spoke to you for the first time today what’s happening??

nothing’s happening

he just smiles that smile you’ve only seen towards his friends

“thank you so much for helping me i’ll come back for them tomorrow!”

and then out of the door he goes

your roommate comes in almost as soon as he leaves and is like

“why was thE HWANG MINHYUN here with you?? what’s going on”

and you just point at the ducks like “blame minki goodnight”

nexT DAY!!

at literally 8am someone is frantically knocking on your door,, and you’re not even awake yet

you look around the room and notice your roommate is gone so you go to the door thinking its them

“come ON it’s 8am why can’t you open the door with the keys why are you making me get up-”

it’s not your roommate

It’s hwang minhyun

you let him in apologising profusely and almost falling over yourself

but he just laughs that “ha ha ha” laugh and picks up the ducks

while you’re just like wait… what was so funny??

he starts to walk out the door but just before he leaves he turns around

“i like your pyjamas!”

and zoom he’s out the door

but oh no you’re not letting him pull that and go???

so out into the corridor you go and in the loudest voice you can make at 8am

you shout

“Hwang Minhyun get back here!!!”

he turns around faster than sonic

“what’s wrong did I leave a duck?? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to leave a duck let me come in and take him back-”

“no... you have all the ducks… but they’re my kids too now so I want to take them back with you”

so he shrugs in agreement and leaves you to get dressed and ready

and when you walk about minhyun is a little surprised

like he’d never really noticed you before,, not properly,, but you were actually really cute

and you were a parent with him? Amazing

so you two walk to the biology rooms to go and fight minki over this

but when you’re halfway there minhyun takes hold of your hand and whispers in your ear

“We’re parents now!!”

he does the haha laugh again and you blush, looking up at him

and he has a mATCHING BLUSH

so you continue holding hands the whole way there

and when you get there, minki is already there working on some new experiment who knows what honestly i’m a bit scared

but he notices you as soon as he sees your shadows in the doorway

“Ooh, new couple?”

minhyun rolls his eyes at minki’s comment and sighs

“Dude the ducks weren’t funny they literally followed me all the way home”

but minki still thinks this is totally hilarious

and honestly? so do you

but you notice minhyun start to pout and uh no we don’t want dramatic minhyun today

so you let go of minhyun’s hand and pass the ducks back to minki

“Aww they had such great parents overnight!!”

and you and minhyun are blushing umm

that’s when you notice the clock in the corner of the room and okay you have class with minhyun in 15 minutes and you don’t want to be running across campus because of minki and his ducks

so you and minhyun bid farewell to the master prankster and get out before the ducks can follow you again

but as soon as you step out of the classroom minhyun turns to you

and his cheeks are bright pink bless

“We should, uhh… hang out sometime…. Without the ducks though”

“But i liked the ducks? They were like our children??”

Minhyun accidentally takes this as rejection and his face starts to fall

“I mean but yeah we can totally hang out, as long as you don’t bring a spider or anything,, I’m not into that”

so now,, thanks to minki and a few ducklings a new romance is blossoming!

according to notes i wrote this in december 2016 and well... i still love it

[thejokersenigma]

Loki Laufeyson x Reader x Joker - OneShot Request - Two Guys

Ok, this is a request given to me by another lovely anon:

Can I request for a oneshot where both loki and joker loves the reader and fight for her. I love them both equally so I am leaving up to you whom the reader will choose because honestly I can’t decide.

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to do this request! I’ve been a bit busy, and it’s rather long! haha

I probably did this slightly differently to what you probably meant, instead of the two guys actually confronting each other, I kind of went for a more fluffy version - if you want me to do something more confrontational I can give it a go - I just wasn’t in the right mind when I went to write this!

If you don’t like the idea of combining these characters, you can probably get away with just reading the part with character you like in it! They don’t really cross over much!

Hope you like it anyway!

(4941 words!)

If you want to be tagged in anything, let me know

REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

MASTERLIST

“Two guys?” Cathy demanded.

You nodded guiltily. “Yep. And I have no idea which one to choose.”

“Oh, what a shame, two guys fawning over you…” Your friend teased you as your sipped your coffee.

“They are not fawning over me.” You scowled. “They’re just two really amazing guys – and they’re complete opposites of each other as well - It makes it even harder to choose.”

“What do ya mean?” Cathy asked, eager for the gossip.

“Well… one’s just really funny, and out there, the other is a bit more reserved, but is really witty.” You tried to explain.

Cathy nodded along to this, then frowned, “But surely you prefer one over the other?” She pushed.

“Well, sometimes, I think I do, but then the other one does something really sweet and it just confuses me even more!”

“Oh! Isn’t life unfair?” Cathy teased, grinning over the rim of her mug at you/

You scowled at her again, but you couldn’t help your lips turning up into a smirk. She was right, this was a ridiculous problem to have, especially when, previous to this, you’d never even been in a serious relationship. “Just shut up and eat your muffin.” You ordered with a half smirk.

“Alright, alright,” Cathy grinned, holding her hands up in surrender, “But seriously, what are you gonna to do? You can’t keep seeing both of them. Well…actually….” She hinted shooting you a cheeky look.

“No, no.” You said firmly, “I wouldn’t, and you’re right, I do need to decide, it’s just soooo hard when they’re both perfect!” You whined.

“Do they know about each other?” Cathy asked

“Not that I know of…” You said, taking another drink.

“Ok, well, how about you have a little fun…” She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at you mischievously.

“What do you mean…?” You asked warily.

“Tell them both the situation – that you’re also seeing another guy – yeah? Then explain that you wanna go on one more date with each of ‘em, and then base your decision on that!”

“Ya know I do actually want to keep one of these guys, right?” You asked her with a raise eyebrow. “The goal is not for both of them to hate me at the end of this.”

“I’m not saying explain it exactly like that, but if they truly care about you, then they’ll wanna fight for you!” Cathy exclaimed, “And plus you’ll get two great dates out of it!”

“You’ve got quite an evil little mind; do you know that?” You said smirking at her.

She grinned proudly, “That might be so, but so do you, because I know you’ll do it.” She winked, then glanced at her watch. “Ok, I’ve gotta go,” She said, pushing her chair back, “but we’re going to meet here same time next week, and you are going to tell me exactly what happens.”

“Yes, Captain.” You muttered sarcastically, shooting her a smirk as she stood up, wrapping her still-uneaten muffin in a napkin and then storing it away in her handbag for later.

“Good girl.” Cathy praised, patting you on the head as she left.

You sighed heavily at the task you had been given, turning your attention back on your coffee.

 And so, a week later, you were back at the same table, with the same coffee order, with Cathy sat across from you with her usual hot chocolate and a piece of carrot cake this time.

Cathy hadn’t touched her drink or the cake yet, instead watching you with excited eyes. When you finally sat down she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“So?! Come on! I’ve been waiting all week for this!” She exclaimed. “It’s the only thing that’s been getting me through the stacks of paperwork!”

You laughed at her desperation.

“Come one! Spill!” Cathy insisted.

“Alright, relax!” You cried, widening your eyes at the eagerness of your friend.

“Ok, I’m good, I’m calm…” She reassured, you, taking a breath, “But I won’t be if you don’t spill the details soon.” She warned, staring you down. “So, who did you go out with first?”

“J. I went out with J first.” You told her, sipping your coffee.

“And…” She pushed.

You rolled your eyes at her impatience, but you couldn’t help grinning as you thought of everything you had to tell her about.

When you finally told the two guys about each other you didn’t mention any details like names – you didn’t see the need – and you honestly breathed a sigh of relief when neither of them had dumped you on the spot.

You had worried about Loki - he had looked hurt at the idea of you guys not be exclusive, even though you’d only been on a few dates, but the look had only lasted for a moment before his eyes had filled with a fierce fighting determination that might have scared you if you didn’t know the man.

J had taken it better, but he had still suddenly become overly protective, clearly not liking the idea of another man touching you. You had reassured him that it had only been a few dates and nothing intimate had happened, but it only seemed to slightly sooth him, still keeping his hands on you for the rest of the evening. He seemed determined to erase the ‘other guy’s’ touches on you.

You hadn’t told Cathy any particulars about the guys - you hardly felt you could considering who they were – ‘J’ being the insane murderous criminal the Joker, and Loki being the ‘God of Mischief’ from a completely different realm.

Yes, you attracted the odd ones.

But despite their rather questionable pasts and presents, it didn’t stop them being the best guys you’d ever dated, and the first people you could actually see you having something of a future with. It did, however, mean that you had to get them to promise not to do anything unlawful or murderous to the ‘other guy’ in an order to get ahead in this small competition you had somehow set up.

They had both reluctantly agreed.

 Your first date had been with J and it had been arranged for 3 days after meeting with Cathy.

You had been confused at first, when a black 4x4 had pulled up outside your building early that morning. You didn’t pay it too much mind until your flat was buzzed, and J’s voice came over the speaker. You were already dressed for work which you had to leave for in about half an hour, and you wondered if he had just stopped by to cancel the date that evening for some reason – probably some heist that couldn’t wait an evening or something. You hurried down the stairs to the pavement outside where you found J in his usual purple overcoat and a matching hat pulled low over his face.

You saw his grin appear from under the brim of his hat when he caught sight of you. “Hiya, doll.” He called “Ready for our little date?”

“Right now?” You asked in surprise.

“Why else would I be here, princess?” He asked with a raised eyebrow

“But its 8am! I have work in half an hour!”

“That’s why you’ve called in sick for the day.” J grinned mischievously.

“What?!” Your frowned, you hadn’t called in sick.

“Don’t over think it, doll.” He purred, stepping towards you, his hands on your hips and his eyes roving over you. “But you are a bit over dressed for where we’re going, kitten…” He observed, changing the subject before you could protest any further.

A few moments later, you had changed into more practical clothes and were now in the car next to J being driven to wherever it was he had planned.

What he had planned, it turned out, was a day at the carnival.

Except it wasn’t your usual carnival bustling with children, parents and circus folk, instead it was completely deserted. You had to momentarily wonder if it was abandoned, but everything was in relatively good shape, no extra rust or disrepair then would be expected from an in-use carnival. J must have either rented it for the day with the millions you knew he must have from his ‘work’ or had just threatened the owner until he complied.

You didn’t have long to dwell on which of these was correct, as J was already dragging you into the middle of the fair.

You had never been the biggest fan of things like carnivals, all previous experiences not being the best thanks to the noise, mud and sheer number of people that came with them, but, like this, with no queues, no ridiculously loud screaming children and no sharp bruising elbows shoving you away, it was actually quite fun.

You ran from ride to ride with J by your side, willing to give anything a go, though you drew the line at the haunted house attraction – not putting it past J to pull a cruel trick on you in the dark -  then feasted on popcorn and candyfloss that J told you to help yourself to from the abandoned food stalls, telling you it was all taken care of when you tried to protest.

You weren’t sure how much you believed him, but you did it anyway, J encouraging your more rebellious side.

You then moved onto the game stalls, J easily beating you on all of them – though even if he didn’t, you had a feeling he’d still walk away with the biggest prize. You, however, refused to take anything more than the prize you had officially won – usually the smallest one.

The final game you played was a simple balloon pop – throwing darts at pinned partially inflated balloons stuck to a wooden board. J’s aim was, of course, brilliant, and he even threw several darts with his hand over his eyes - though you wouldn’t have put it past him to have been peeking through his fingers. He won a huge cuddly clown that he gave to you with a grin, and, in return, you won a small plastic water pistol which you gave to him with an equally large cheeky smile.

The two of you nearly the whole day at the carnival, finally ending up Ferris wheel as the sun began to sink below the tarpaulin tents. You almost felt like you were in a movie.

When you finally decided to call it a day, you were exhausted and presumed the date was now over. J clearly didn’t though. Instead of the 4x4 you had arrived in waiting for you, J’s flashy sports car sat by the curb, the paint shining in the sunset.

Before you knew it, you were sat in one of the pristine leather seats, hurtling down the streets of Gotham back towards the city centre and in the opposite direction to your flat.

“Where are we going now?” You asked with a laugh, watching the city blur past your window.

“Well, doll, if this night is all I have to prove you’re my girl, then I’m pulling out all the stops.” J grinned with a knowing twinkle in his eye. His smile was infectious, and you soon found yourself grinning back in excitement.

After a brief ride, J pulled up outside the largest and flashiest casino you had ever seen. You’d heard about its grand opening on the news a few weeks ago, but you would never consider going to it – you didn’t know how to play, and it wasn’t like you had the money to waste on gambling.

J handed the keys to a smartly dressed valet, then led you into the building. This time, the place wasn’t empty, instead J seemed to want to show you off to as many people as possible.

He kept his hand on the small of your back, directing you through the luxury hallways to the back where he had a change of outfit waiting you. It was a beautiful dress, but far more revealing then you had ever worn, or would ever have chosen to wear. You were nervous when you had to finally leave the room you’d locked yourself in to change -  stepping out gingerly on the high heels you had been handed - but you soon found J waiting just down the hallway, and the way his eyes darkened as he took you in made you forget most things.

J led you back to the main halls, keeping a firm grip on you the whole time. He let you choose where to go first, and he seemed to have very little problem with you wasting his money on the various games as he murmured how to play in your ear – occasionally dropping in a few comments that made you giggle and blush.

You had initially tried to assure him you’d use your own money, but you had quite quickly lost the small amount of your budget that you could afford to waste on the night, and after that he had insisted on paying despite the fact that you continued to lose nearly all the chips as soon as you had been given them.

You felt embarrassed at all the money you had lost, but J continued to push chips into your hands, preferring to watch you play and mutter things to you as you lost, then to play himself and win most times.

There was a point when you managed a string of wins and finally earnt back some of your loses, and after this you decided to call it a night for you, happy to hand around J’s shoulders with a fancy fruity cocktail as J made back everything you had lost and more.

It was as your head began to droop onto J’s shoulders, that it was finally deemed time to call it a night.

The period in which you were conscious seemed to blur together and you didn’t remember making it to the car, but somehow you did, and the engine soon lulled you to sleep until you awoke in J’s arms whilst he carried you up the stairs to your flat.

You vaguely thought about how he must have gone through your bag to find your keys, but you never finished the thought, too out of it. You tried to get him to put you down, but J refused, not sure how steady you would be on your feet, and content to keep you in his arms for as long as possible as he carried you the rest of the way.

You resigned yourself to his stubbornness and snuggled deeper into his chest, closing your eyes again, not seeing any problem with this in your drunken state.

You remembered hearing the click of the keys in your front door and J then J was laying you down on your bed, dropping your handbag by your bedside table. You found it hard to keep your eyes open, despite how much you wanted to, seeing J lingering for a moment by your side. He then bent down and lightly brushed his lips against yours before you must have been lost to sleep.

 “You past out on the man?!” Cathy demanded.

You nodded embarrassed, “In my defence, it was like 4am and I had drunk a lot!”

“And the next date?” Cathy pressed, already eager for more.

“Alright, give me a chance!” You cried, taking a gulp of your quickly cooling coffee.

 You had arranged to see Loki on the Friday night, two days after your previous date. It had taken you almost the whole of the previous day to recover from the night with J and work had no trouble believing you had been ill the day before.

You spent Friday both nervous and excited for that evening. You weren’t sure how Loki could top the extravagance of your night out with J – not that you were sure you could handle another night like that this soon – but you were still just looking forward to seeing him again.

 Loki could have magicked himself into your building, or even into the flat, but instead, at exactly 7pm, your buzzer sounded, and Loki’s smooth voice came over the speaker.

You couldn’t help but smile in excitement.

“I’ll be down in 2 minutes!” You called, and then ran around shoving things into your bag before rushing down to the pavement outside where Loki stood patiently in a sharp Midgardian suit, staring out into the darkened street - looking rather intimidating if you hadn’t known better.

He turned to face you when you opened the door, his face softening at the sight of you, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Heya.” You greeted, unable to help yourself smiling back.

“Hello.”

“Look, I’m really sorry about this whole situation – “

“No, its fine.” He dismissed, “I welcome the challenge to prove myself to you.”

You smirked at this. “And how do you plan to do that?”

Loki grinned mischievously. “Let me show you.” He said slyly, holding out his hand for you to take.

You knew what would happen the minute you took it, but that didn’t stop you, and sure enough, the minute you touched him a green and gold mist began to surround you.

Loki had teleported you several times in the short while you had known him, but you still couldn’t help closing your eyes at the air rushing against you and the weird feeling that you weighed nothing.

When the air around you seemed to calm again, and the heaviness returned to your body, you opened your eyes, now finding yourself on a street lined with darkened shops. They were all long closed for the night, except the one you stood directly in front of, the light from the windows pooling out onto the pavement at your feet.

You titled your head up to read the sign over the door, seeing it was a bookshop.

Loki stood by your side, watching your face, your hand still in his.

“Why are we here?” You asked, now dropping your head and peering through the large front window at the rows of bookshelves.

“Is it not obvious?” He asked, and you could hear the slightly smirk in his voice.

“The shop?” You asked, glancing across at him, still confused.

He nodded, stepping forward and pulling you after him as he led you into the store.

You weren’t sure how he’d managed to get the shop to stay open this late - and you were pretty sure you didn’t want to know - instead you just let him lead you into the narrow store. You immediately lost yourself in the smell of the paper and almost closed your eyes to breathe it in. The lighting initially had seemed bright compared to the darkness of night, but now you realised it was actually quite dim, that, coupled with the red carpet and dark wood, created a warm and cosy atmosphere.

Most people might have thought that wandering in an empty bookshop at night was a weird date, but, as Loki pulled you deeper into the store - which surprisingly went much further back then you had thought - you soon found that becoming lost amongst the maze of bookshelves, with Loki close beside you, or drifting silently down the rows nearby, felt surprisingly intimate.

You spent what felt like hours first perusing the books, then finding the hidden cubby holes in the store, soon finding yourself becoming more playful and starting to creep down the aisles of shelves, trying to peer at Loki through the books without being caught. You were rarely successful with your sneaking though, most times his eyes flashing to meet yours before you could duck out of sight and having to bite your lip in an attempt to not laugh.

Loki soon joined in on your game and, of course, was so much better at it then you were, moving so silently that, unless you somehow managed to catch a glimpse of him, you had no hope of knowing where he was.

Finally, Loki snuck up behind you and wrapped his arms around your chest, making you squeal and squirm in surprise. He pulled you back against his chest, feeling the vibrations of his chuckles and watching as the green and gold glow returned and the bookshop faded from view again.

When you felt able to open your eyes again, you found you were now stood in complete darkness, only knowing you must be in a room because you couldn’t feel the cold breeze of the night. Loki’s arms remained around you as the room slowly lit up – almost like someone was turning a dimming switch – to reveal a completely empty ballroom.

“Where are we now?” You asked, slightly out of breath from your giggles and playful struggling.

Loki didn’t say anything, instead spinning you around so that you faced him, never letting you out of his arms, your chest now almost touching his as one of his hands moved to your waist, the other taking one of your hands. He then began to spin you slowly around the hall.

You couldn’t help grinning, and it felt like your heart had swelled to twice its size. “You know there’s no music, right?” You teased, trying not to sound as knocked off your feet as you were.

He raised an eyebrow at you, and a symphony suddenly began playing out of nowhere. You couldn’t help letting out a burst of laughter, hanging your head at how ridiculous this was, Loki continuing to spin you endlessly around.

You had never really danced like this before – the younger generations of Midgardians having long forgotten this form of dancing, but Loki led you confidently, keeping the steps simple, and you soon got the general gist, only missing a few steps every now and then.

For a while the music was relatively energetic and fast, but just as you began to feel quite out of breath, the tune effortlessly turned softer and slower, the pace of your dance altering to fit the beautiful melody that now played. The two of you barely moved from one spot, merely just swaying now and Loki bowed his head to look at you.

You suddenly became incredibly shy and found yourself unable to meet his gaze, instead keeping your head down, staring at his buttons on his back suit.

Loki tugged you closer, your chests meeting now, and you looked up, his eyes dark in the shadows cast on his face from the dim lighting.

You blushed and looked away again, his stare making you feel all sorts of things.

He didn’t force you to look at him again, content for the two of you to just be close and sway.

Eventually he leant his head down to your ear. “Are you hungry?” He asked gently.

“Uh, sure.” You murmured, glancing up at him in surprise at the sudden change in topic, but now he mentioned it, you were starving.

He must have read that in your face because he gave you a small smirk and you suddenly found yourself stood in the hallway outside your flat.

“Oh.” You murmured to yourself, was the date over? Was him asking if you were hungry a way of asking if you wanted to finish the date?

You didn’t look at Loki, your heart having plummeted to the floor. You were being silly. Just because the date was over didn’t mean he didn’t like you, why did you feel so sad then? You fumbled for the key in your bag, pulling it out and opening the door to your apartment. You then finally turned to Loki to wish him goodnight - if that’s what he wanted - but faltered when you noticed he was now holding what looked to be a picnic basket.

“Wh-?” You started.

He lifted the basket. “Dinner.” He explained. You felt your cheeks heat up at your mistake and the sweetness of the gesture - thankful for the darkness of the corridor.

When you didn’t move, Loki leant past you, pushing the door open, and gently pushing you into your apartment with a hand on your back.

Except, it didn’t look like your apartment anymore.

You don’t know how he couldn’t possibly have had the time to do it, but candles sat on every available surface, emitting a soft glow in the darkness and the furniture in your living room area had been pushed to one side, leaving a large empty space of floor that had been filled with a pile of comfy looking cushions and a blanket.

“I thought it would be a bit different.” Loki shrugged when you looked to him for an explanation. You couldn’t help grinning, happily taking the basket off his arm and heading to the cushions.

“So?! What happened?!” Demanded Cathy.

You shrugged, desperately fighting the urge to grin uncontrollably. “Just your usual evening meal.” You said taking a sip out of your now stone-cold coffee.

“Sure…” Cathy muttered, clearly unconvinced. “So, you had the two dates, which guy ya going pick?”

You raised an eyebrow at her, straight to the point as always for Cathy, no hanging around.

She continued to just look at you, not at all fazed by your unimpressed look. “Well?!”

You rolled your eyes. “Well… I guess… uh…”

“Do you not know?!” Cathy exclaimed, “I told you, you needed to decide by today!”

“I know you did! But you’ve just made it even harder by telling me to set up this stupid competition between them!” I grumbled, “They’re both great guys, and they were both great dates!”

“Yes,” Cathy drawled, “But you must have felt more for one than the other.”

You rolled your heck in exasperation. “I don’t know.” You groaned.

“Well, you need to.” Cathy said firmly, “Look, hun, you can’t just keep stringing them both along like this,” She said, her voice becoming gentler, a look of pity on her face. “Think about this really carefully.” She insisted, “There must be a difference between them, and you gotta like one more than the other.”

You tilted your head back, closing your eyes as you thought about it. “Ok…” You sighed after a short while. “I guess J… he’s - I dunno – he changes me a bit. I feel like I’m – like I’m a different person around him, ya know?” I asked, Cathy just watched me, waiting for me to continue. “He’s not – not forcing me to change, but I’m just more outgoing - more daring – when I’m with him – I mean, I’ve never called in sick to work before when I haven’t actually been sick.”

“Oooo, so daring!” Cathy teased, and dropped your head down to look at her, rolling your eyes at her sarcasm. “And the other guy?” She pushed.

“But Loki,” You sighed heavily again, now looking out the window on your right, staring without seeing at the people wandering down the street. “I – I don’t change around him – and I don’t feel like I have to either.” You admitted. “He just seems to know me – like the bookshop, the floor picnic, the lack of people…”

Cathy raised her eyebrows at you but didn’t interrupt.

“I love how J brings me out of my shell,” You confessed, more to yourself now then Cathy, “But – and maybe it’s just me playing it safe – I think I prefer how Loki just naturally fits to my personality…”

You trailed off, turning back to Cathy again only to see her grinning widely at you.

“What?” You asked.

“Sounds like you know exactly who you’re choosin’” She beamed.

You rolled your eyes again, but you couldn’t help the smile that forced itself onto your face as you blushed. “Maybe…” You mumbled, dropping your head to hide your face and staring into the remnants of the coffee in your mug.

“Oooo.” Cathy giggled, “I’m so happy for you! When are you going to tell him?!”

You looked back up, “Oh no, I have to tell J!” You grimaced.

“Don’t focus on that right now!” Cathy reassured you, “Focus on being able to tell this Loki guy that you love him!” She grinned with a wink at you.

“Love him?” You questioned wide eyed.

“Of course,” She insisted, “Oh it’s so easy it see, hun!”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. You love ‘em both, but when you talk about him your eyes light up just that little bit more.” Cathy told you with a mischievous knowing smile of hers.

“If you knew that, then why didn’t you tell me a week ago?!” You demanded.

“I couldn’t exactly be sure.” She shrugged, with another wink, “And you can hardy say you didn’t enjoy those dates.” She grinned.

“You’re unbelievable.” You muttered.

“Maybe.” She smirked.

You rolled your eyes again, then glanced at your watch. “Right, well I need to go.”

“Oh, where are you off to?” Cathy asked, intrigued.

“I have a date.” You said simply. “With Loki.”

Her jaw dropped. “You’d already made your decision before you came here, hadn’t you?” She gasped. You shrugged with a gleam in your eye. “You’ve already broken up with that J fella…” You nodded smugly. “You already told Loki…”

“Actually, no.” You admitted, “I’m off to do that now.”

“You are unbelievable.” She told me with a wide grin.

“Maybe.” You smirked, standing up and unhooking your jacket from the back of your chair. “Same time next week?” You asked pleasantly.

Cathy nodded, “Oh, one last thing.” She said as you went to turn away. “Does that mean this J guy is available?” She asked teasingly.

You simply rolled your eyes and left to meet Loki.

 tags: @white-chocolate-mocha-fan

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

[pbandjesse]

I am very cozy in bed tonight. It was a really nice day. I am just tired. But honestly what else is new. I am trying not to take melatonin all the time anymore because I think its making me tired in the day time after the fact. This is night 2 with no sleep help.

I did feel pretty good in general today. And I slept okay last night. Though James woke me up a few times and I got scared by loud noises. I slept in until 9 and laid in bed until 930. I felt alright. James seemed low and I got him some cough drops and tried to cheer him up. I hate seeing him sick.

He left for work and I had like 2 hours before I had to leave. I was mostly just sitting. I was just cold and it was hard to want to do anything. Then I noticed James forgot his phone on the coffee table. Ugh oh.

It motivated me to get up at least. I would take him the phone later. But for now I finished signing up for healthcare and dental for next year. I cleaned out the fridge and loaded the dishwasher. So while I didnt work on art like I wanted, I did get some stuff accomplished.

I went to take James his phone. Got a hug. And went to catch the bus. An old man yelled from the window near where I lock my bike that he sees my bike everyday but it was the first time he's seen me! I laughed that I parked it there because of the security camera. What am I gonna do park it ob Saratoga??? No thank you! Got a good laugh out of him.

Work was good. I made my example for my kids. Did some cleaning. Hung out. Was slightly nervous because we were having someone observe our class. But I had high hopes.

And today was a really good day. We had small issues. But in general it was great. I got upset with recess issues. Birthday was solved fast enough. Art time was good! I had to retrace a few kids but I'm pretty good at it now so it was fast.

And i think our observation went well. I threatened the kids so now we can have a pizza party next week. Okay fine we were gonna do that anyway. But still!!

We also had a visit from the big boss, Marshall, at the end of the day. And he got to see my kids leading their vocab game. And I was so proud.

We finished up the day. I had to wait with Damien cause mom was late. He completely lost his voice today. So talking with him was funny. But mom came and I went to catch the bus.

Someone from the school tried to offer me a ride but I wssn1t 100 who they were. Because it was dark. So I said I would be okay! And I was. The bus came soon enough and got to my bike and had a nice ride home.

I beat James home. I was really hungry so I hsd peanutbutter crackers while I waited for him. And when he got back here we had pizza.

Now hes working on some photos. And I'm resting. I had ice cream and upset my belly a little. But I'm mostly looking forward to sleep.

Tomorrow's a long day. I have to be at the museum at 8am. And I am so salty about it. But I really hope it's just good and I sleep easy and I get my hash browns for breakfast and I dont feel sad.

So wish me luck. Sleep well. Be safe. Take care of yourself.

[cuteandtwisted]

hi wiss! not a prompt but i just read your birthday fic for Even and I found it so touching how you treat his MI with so much care. i don't mean to intrude but do you have an MI? it sometimes sounds like you speak from experience. Do you or someone close to you have a mental illness? and what did Even teach YOU?

Hmm. That’s an interesting question. Interesting because I don’t really know., because I’m not sure I’m articulate enough to answer it. Also it’s 8am and I still haven’t slept/been stranded in airports after 3 flights. And I’m typing this on my phone. It’s funny how I always leak and ramble about myself when I’m exhausted.

Long story short: I’ve never seen a therapist and my mental state is based on what I think I know/things I read. It’s all in my head pretty much, which I realize is the same as assessing yourself physically without going to an actual Doctor. Mental illness was always so taboo in my culture growing up. It was considered a curse, an impairment, a sign of weakness of character or of bad karma. And it didn’t only speak for you and your deeds. It also spoke for your entire family. Mental illness was something we only heard about but never got to live through. It was that thing that happened to others or to that one obscure/distant family member. It wasn’t exactly real and it wasn’t nuanced either. It was a death sentence so to speak. It was an ending in and of itself.

My first direct exposure to someone with a mental illness was to my uncle. He’s my father’s youngest brother and we’re barely 10 years apart. What’s most vivid about him in my childhood memories are his height, his silky hair, his talent for drawing, although he’s never had any training, and his tendency to smoke too many cigarettes and drink too many cups of black coffee. He also happened to be schizophrenic and delirious. His symptoms started around the time his parents got a divorce and his father (aka my grandpa) got married to one of his students (i know. Wtf). He got misdiagnosed and his meds fucked with his mind a lot. He never got to finish school or pursue his dream to be an artist. I’m always sad when I think of him because he is the perfect example of someone who could have been helped but who was cursed, not by his pained mind, but by society’s stigma. He always kisses my forehead when he sees me and it always breaks my heart when I remember how scared I used to be of him when I was younger. It wasn’t my fault, I later realized. Everyone around me kept telling me that i was to feel afraid. I often hear about him ending up at the police station and at the hospital, and I often heard my grandmother complain about how he ruined her life with his sickness. Terrifying, isn’t it? It doesn’t encourage anyone who might be feeling inadequate to ever speak up.

I personally started to feel /weird/ when I reached the age of 13/14. My parents said I read books I wasn’t supposed to have read when I was younger and that it messed with my thoughts and my mind. I loved philosophy, still do. Questioning my own existence became a thing I practiced religiously. At one point I was convinced I had superpowers and that I could escape reality whenever I wished to. Sometimes, it was pleasant but not really. Like being tickled. It makes you laugh but you don’t necessarily enjoy the loss of control. I thought I could control it, but then I realized that it was controlling me. Sometimes it was terrifying because I didn’t know what was wrong with me and Google wasn’t extremely helpful either. Later I realized that I was experiencing depersonalization/derealization and that I wasn’t that special. Recoiling into one’s mind to the point of no longer being able to perceive reality was something many others experienced. I was almost disappointed to learn that I wasn’t special.

I went through some terrible experiences around that time and my moods started fluctuating. I would go from elated to extremely down, never leaving my room. My parents were constantly traveling so they didn’t really notice. It didn’t help that I was an extremely proud, reserved, contrary, and cunning teenager. My mind was my best asset and I used to my advantage. Another thing that duped most was my ability to pretend that I was fine all the time. I could be crippled with sorrow and still have a smile plastered across my face. I could entertain groups of 10 for hours then go home and cry until sleep found me. I was proud, stubborn, ‘strong’. And strong people didn’t admit to feeling weak and needing to just sleep it off sometimes.

At one point, I convinced myself that I was bipolar. I even wrote it in my diary and my anonymous blogs back then. I didn’t know much about it. I just knew that my mood swings and my depersonalization episodes had to be attributed to something. Again, i never saw a therapist, so it was all BS. I also never splurged to the point of mania. (However, I do spend money recklessly sometimes. I do jump on flights at the last moment, buy the most stupid shit just for the heck of it, shove my tongue down strangers’ throats just to feel something, drink until I’m blind and throwing up against walls. I do feel larger than life sometimes, slightly invincible, convinced I’m special and have some insight into human nature, convinced i can see right through people and read their minds. I have my moments. But don’t we all?

I also do feel down sometimes to the point of not leaving my bed for days, ignoring everyone’s calls and messages, and just curling around myself in the dark. I do. I do. But don’t we all?

Control and pride are all I have, however. So you won’t find me whining about my feelings or my mood swings in real life.)

I kept entertaining my self-diagnosis and remained convinced I was bipolar until I first met a diagnosed bipolar person at the age of 17. I didn’t know he was bipolar back then, just that people called him ‘crazy’ and a ‘fucking liar’. I knew him as my boyfriend’s best friend/neighbor. I thought he hated me for the longest time. I even imagined that he was secretly gay and in love with my boyfriend. But he wasn’t. I asked him point blank why he hated me one day and he replied with “i don’t. I’m actually in love with you.” I still remember that day so vividly. My boyfriend and I thought he was joking. He wasn’t.

My bf and I eventually broke up, after which he got shipped to another city, but I maintained my weird friendship with his best friend/neighbor. He transferred to my school when we were juniors and I took it upon myself to introduce him to people and show him around. He walked me home on Friday afternoons and made me playlists which we listened to on his iPod. We shared his earphones as we walked to my house. He started writing me poems and posting them on facebook. He called me his 'colombe’ which translates to 'his dove’ and he became fixated on me to the point of following me in the streets when I was out with friends. I remember the night he stood outside of a McDonalds with a cigarette between his lips staring at me through the window. I started feeling scared. I rejected his advances and his poems were dark and accusatory now.

He came to school with a bandaged wrist once and i was afraid of asking him what happened. My english teacher pulled me aside at the end of class that day and asked me if it was true that I had pushed him down the stairs and caused his wrist injury. I denied it because it wasn’t and i started feeling slightly terrified. The guy left a note in my bag that day and stopped me during recess to ask me to not open it until i got home.

I opened it as soon as I finished an exam early and went outside waiting for everyone else to come out. It was dark and chilly. It was November. The note he wrote me was another poem and it was written in ?blood? I was shocked and I questioned it as much as I could. It could have been red nail polish. It could have been anything. But why do this to me? Why? I didn’t understand. He came out of the school and i snapped and it was just the two of us in the dark. He had followed me outside but i was so angry and confused that i failed to see that it was just us two now. I asked him what the hell was going on and he said that he cut himself because of me and of how i treated him and that he wrote me a poem with his blood. I think i might have called him crazy. I don’t remember. I was experiencing shock in its purest form so I don’t remember everything I said.

And then he hit me. He shoved me hard against the wall and he hit me across the face, then he said that he loved me and that I didn’t understand. I still remember how the blow felt like nothing. The worst had already happened. I internalized that hit so much, and perhaps I still do. I was tiny compared to him. I can fight people, but I was shocked by how utterly powerless I was at that moment. My limbs had just stopped functioning. And to this day I still find it hard to let my guards down around men or anyone physically capable of overpowering me. Biology, and all. My best friend came out of nowhere and a fight broke because he had me pressed against a wall. Then we all went home. I never told anyone that he hit me that night. I was too proud. I still can’t believe that it’s something that happened to me.

I cut my bangs to the side that night to hide my bruise, and thankfully I have brown complexion so it wasn’t that bad. I avoided him like the plague after that, even when he crawled back to me begging for forgiveness. He later sent me long messages explaining his diagnosis and his bipolar and how he had developed an ‘obsession’ with me, how it wasn’t really him doing those things. But I couldn’t find it in me to forgive him. Being mentally ill doesn’t condone shitty behavior, it doesn’t condone physically assaulting someone. I don’t know. He traumatized me.

I developed some sort of stigma after that. I was kind of like S3 Isak (which is why i think the show changed me so fucking much) I 'chose’ to stay away from 'mentally ill people’ to 'protect myself’.

The guy in question did continue being a shitty person until everyone around town knew to avoid him. He played girls and called them sluts and lied about everything and everyone and he was just pretty horrible. And it took me some time to understand that it wasn’t because he was bipolar. It was simply because he was an asshole.

I did develop empathy for him later on when I stopped being so angry and blaming myself for everything all the time. I guess I realized that some have it harder than others? Maybe his shitty behavior was a byproduct of how he had been treated so far? Maybe it was his only outlet, his only way of lashing out against the world for 'inconveniencing’ him with an imbalanced brain? I don’t know. But i forgive him now. Because I’m sure he wasn’t always terrible. I’m sure he has lived through his fair share of horrible things. I’m sure those weeks he spent in bed were daunting. I’m sure people weren’t always gentle with him. I forgive him but i will never forget. Because some people go through hell and still choose to be kind. Because what he did, using his bipolar to justify his awful actions, is selfish and only perpetuates the stigma around bipolar.

I guess this is why SKAM changed my life so drastically? The only depiction of bipolar i had been exposed to was from this guy who traumatized me and all the crap on TV that either romanticized it or simply turned it into a trope and showed people who suffer from it as helpless and completely delirious with no chance of ever leading a normal life. I’m grateful for SKAM because not only did it erase my previous biased and erroneous views which were influenced by a rather unfortunate event, but it also made me do research and read about it and learn more. I fell in love with Even and his mind and his kindness and all the love he has in him. Life can throw crap at you, but you can still choose to be kind. And that’s what Even and his story taught me. Mental illness is not a death sentence and you can still be loved and happy

Back to your question, I guess, I still haven’t paid a visit to a therapist lol. I’m scared i might find out something about myself that i won’t like. I’m scared of being called out on my bullshit. I’m scared of leaking like a broken faucet. I get dizzy thinking about some of the crap I went through and I sometimes think it’s better left in pandora’s box, that it’s better to keep the lid on. I don’t know. Sometimes my life feels like some really badly written CW show. But I’m still happy with where I am today. Always. One day i’ll organize my thoughts and write something meaningful about the storms in my mind. But until then, i’ll borrow the voice of fictional characters to work through some of my personal experiences.

Sorry about the rambling. I’m SO angry at Delta airlines right now. I had to channel that anger into something else haha.