Tumgik
#this is so unbelievably hilarious to me
hangryhana · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
5 sauce🥫
91 notes · View notes
dazesanddoodles · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
the vibe we bring to the function
65 notes · View notes
lucyvaleheart · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
im being fucking roasted in my discord server help me
54 notes · View notes
hopeinthebox · 2 months
Text
tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH
#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist#but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time#Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall#End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF#Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands#especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter#so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good#This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth#Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album#Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will#Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently#because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me#shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her#(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool#so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen#tag#receiptify
20 notes · View notes
silveryinkystar · 3 months
Text
i am CRYING the metanarrative of this episode was so fucking funny
31 notes · View notes
ferahntics · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
Let Puar say fuck
Tumblr media
42 notes · View notes
thatgirlonstage · 3 months
Text
Yeah yeah “show don’t tell” get mis-explained and misinterpreted as writing advice a lot and yeah sometimes you SHOULD be telling the reader things however I am unwilling to discard this particular phrase given the number of stories I have encountered that make me want to slap the author across the face with it
#tal reads#this post brought to you by my current audiobook#telling me. REPEATEDLY. in conversation and internal narration#that the mc is this incredible rebel who never follows the rules and who everyone knows likes to live on the edge man#meanwhile in terms of his actual ACTIONS in the story#the most exciting thing this man has done is buy a coffee shop without his family’s approval#(there’s a LITTLE more weight behind this than I’m making it sound bc his family is politically important. but not much.)#there’s this whole conversation he has with one guy#to whom the mc mentions his family wanted him to take religious orders#and the next like. ten lines of dialogue#are all just the guy repeating how UTTERLY UNBELIEVABLE this is and how NO ONE is less suited to that than the mc#and I’m just sitting there like. this guy is neither a serial killer nor afaik a political atheist so like calm the fuck down perhaps#it’s not a bad book overall!!!#but the reputation the author wanted her mc to have is HILARIOUSLY out of step with the character she actually wanted to write him being#if it was all internal narration I might call it a brilliant bit of unreliable narrator of the self-aggrandizing flavor#and take it as an artistic choice#but it’s clear other people think of the mc how he thinks of himself#just with…zero justification in the actual story lmao#every time he gets close to actually doing something seriously risky he’s like ‘but I’m not stupid so I didn’t’#me: WHY DO YOU HAVE A REPUTATION FOR DOING STUPIDLY RISKY THINGS THEN???#anyway if you have to TELL your audience what kind of person your character is#rather than letting their actions speak for themselves#then it’s time to reassess if that character actually is the kind of person you’re describing
7 notes · View notes
upwards-descent · 8 months
Text
Yo I already felt Bugsnax looked like a decent game but watching Ray Narvaez's highlight reel of the game has cemented it as an incredible experience to me, I'm so tempted to play it and have my bf watch
8 notes · View notes
evilyaoi · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
tempted to watch this entire awful show just so i can make this purple haired twink my pfp because Fucking look at him
2 notes · View notes
Text
It’s an unbelievably tragic concept that is wrapped up in so much trauma for Harumi and Lloyd both but also it will never stop being funny to me that Harumi literally stole Lloyd’s dad. like literally that is exactly what happened she saw garmadon was dead and was like oh? free real estate? and then she stole him.
13 notes · View notes
ftm-shitposts · 1 year
Text
My friend and I talked about how having high testosterone Ievels can make you aggressive (like when taking steroids) and she deadass said to me "god gave you a women's body cause you'd be too powerful as an angry man in a man's body" and I was like. Too stunned to speak
4 notes · View notes
three-o-clock-things · 3 months
Text
an doing the ready steady dance in heels during the evolve live... girl what how even
0 notes
forgwater · 2 months
Text
"Ah, yes. Me, my beloved Prefect and my lookalike tsum from another dimension."
Twst Boys and their reactions to you cuddling their tsum instead of them Headcanons
part 1 part 2 part 3
Riddle Rosehearts
He's baffled.
There has to be a rule about this somewhere!
Yes. The Headmage said he must look after the tsum until it can get back to where it came from and he will, but this is too much.
Does this creature have no manners?!
It must know the two of you are dating. It might even have its own version of you waiting for him to return!
And yet.
Here it is, hogging all your attention as you hold it close to yourself.
You're not even facing him!
And no. He is not crossing his arms and pouting.
Cater Diamond
He thought the tsum was pretty nice at first.
He's been forced to reconsider.
Cater would love to take a picture of you with his tsum. For his eyes only so don't you worry~
You must look so cute snuggled with the plush!
And it looks like him!
It really would be adorable!
If only you weren't facing away from him, your face presumably buried in the soft tummy of his lookalike.
.......
This is not fair. You should be cuddling him! He's your boyfriend! Not that overgrown bean.
He secretly hopes the tsum falls off the bed in the middle of the night.
Leona Kingscholar
What do you mean you prefer that stupid plush??? He's right here!
Very much not happy. No matter how cute you look with his tsum in your arms.
He tries to pull the tsum out of your arms.
Tsum Leona is not letting go.
They lock eyes.
You're pretty sure they're glaring at each other.
.....
Fine. He'll let the tsum have this. He's not gonna risk an accident just because that bean is unwilling to let you go.
You're gonna have his tail on you tho.
Jack Howl
Why are you hugging his tsum like that?
Why is his tsum looking like a puppy getting affection?
He's getting second hand embarrassment.
It's not because he would like to be held like that by you. It's because....
Uh. Because...
I mean! He's a wolf! His tsum is a wolf! It should be a little more... dignified.
He's not needy like that!
And he didn't agree to this. The tsum has not business being in his space like this. Cuddling with his s/o....
He keeps looking over to you and his tsum. He's snatching that bean out of your arms at first light. They're gonna go for a run.
Floyd Leech
So this could go one of two ways:
Either he's annoyed and tries to snatch the offending plush from you, which will end up in a fight between the two.
Or
He thinks it's hilarious and that you look cute like that.
He still wants his cuddles tho.
What's Floyd to do in this situation?
He just plops himself over you and the tsum. He's letting all of his weight crush you.
Lucky(?) for you it's only his torso crushing you.
Good luck.
Epel Felmier
He's finally allowed to have a sleepover and this happens!
You've got to be kidding him.
Please tell him this is a joke. He's glaring daggers at the tsum.
I mean.... He's a strong and independent man! He doesn't need those cuddles.
Yes. Yes he does.
He's fine!
He keeps glaring at the happy tsum in your arms.
It's mocking him.
There's no way it's not.
He tries to snatch it out of your arms, but makes the mistake of going for the head.
He gets bitten by his tsum.
Sebek Zigvolt
First Malleus-sama, now this!
This creature must be taught respect!
HOW DARE IT JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS SO SHAMELESSLY!!!!
WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?!
A KNIGHT TO MALLEUS SHOULD NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY!
UNBELIEVABLE!
Sebek gets into a one-sided screaming match with his tsum.
By the end of it he's almost in tears. How dare this glorified plush bean steal your affections away from him!
Tsum Sebek ignores all of this. It is far too preoccupied with enjoying your pets and hugs.
You attempt to console Sebek by promising it's only for tonight.
He does not look consoled.
3K notes · View notes
Text
Nice to see this place hasn't changed a bit since I was gone 🫠
0 notes
isaacathom · 1 year
Text
oftentimes we end up sitting in a voice chat just rambling aimlessly about the characters in our dnd campaign, and it has REGULARLY come up that the leader, Commodore Vandervest, sincerely trusts Naielle and thinks she has always done her duty.
To the point that, last night, when I said that 'Every [player character] has a stain on their record', he said 'Naielle doesn't'
0 notes
rebelfell · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
multiples.
eddie munson x fem!reader
“Multiple? Multiple what?”
cw: smut blurb about eddie making sure you arrive properly. ref to period pain, fingering, oral (m & f receiving)
2.7k 18+ MDNI
Tumblr media
Eddie has a problem.
No, no, no—not a problem. That makes it sound like there was some issue he had to resolve or a task he had to complete. This is more delicate than that. A conundrum, maybe? A dilemma? Whatever he called it, it had consumed him for weeks now. And it boiled down to one thing:
He was pretty sure you weren’t coming.
At first, it was difficult to put a finger on what exactly was throwing him off. 
When the two of you got together, he was thrilled. Like, running through the streets naked, jumping on top of moving cars, Wilhelm screaming, over the goddamn moon kind of thrilled. He’d been into you since forever and had always felt totally comfortable around you. You were hilarious and cool and probably definitely the smartest person he knew, easy—not that the rest of his friends were like Rhodes scholars or anything.
Still, it kind of blew him away that someone like you was actually interested in him.
The longer you saw one another and the closer you got, he only liked you more and more. Then you guys started doing stuff and he sort of kind of lost his fucking mind. He’d never been with a person that felt so much like home; someone he felt like he could spend forever with, if you’d only have him. And the sex was…unbelievable.
You let your bodies have long, in-depth conversations that lasted into the night and then picked right back up again in the early morning. He hadn’t ruined this many sets of sheets since he was a snot-nosed pre-teen first discovering the loving embrace of his own fist. But as the fog of your initial sex haze dissipated, he couldn’t shake this one thought that kept coming back.
He didn’t want to toot his own horn or anything, but Eddie had it on pretty good authority he was above average when it came to making girls arrive. And with you…
Well, it was just different.
You were pretty quiet, for one. Which was kind of odd, considering how brash and brazen you could be normally. Eddie thought maybe you were just more subdued during sex. Sometimes it was the quietest, most mousy-looking girls who rattled his trailer roof the hardest. So maybe the reverse was also true? And there was nothing wrong with that, if it was. Just because he was vocal in bed, it certainly didn’t mean he expected you to be.
But when you came—or rather, when you said you were—it just didn’t quite feel like he expected.
He was no expert, mind you. But after having dealt so much in theatricality and role play, he’d developed quite an ear for insincerity. And you are anything but insincere.
When he had you pinned underneath him, his hips snapping as he drove you into the mattress, the way you squirmed and writhed and squeezed around him was pure fucking bliss. But then, just when he thought he was getting you going, you would be wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in close so he could hear your heated whisper.
“Gonna come for me, beautiful?” he’d ask, his hand dipping between your bodies to rub at your clit. You’d nod, almost too blissed out to speak.
“I did, I did,” you told him, more breath than words. “I came already—I wanna feel you.”
And, well, when you say it like that…it’s all he can do not to blow his load on the spot. 
It’s not that he doesn’t believe you. He just thinks maybe you don’t know what it feels like to really come. So it’s not that you’re faking—something is definitely happening down there—it’s just not an orgasm. At least not a decent one.
At least not one he wants to claim.
Considering the guys you’d dated, he’s not all that surprised. They all sounded like losers who worried about themselves first and only. Dumb jerks who thought their dicks were magic wands that made girls come as soon as they set foot in the lobby. He didn’t want to be like them.
He wanted to take you to the fucking penthouse.
But it’s tricky. He can’t just bring up something like this, can he? He doesn’t want to offend you. He doesn’t want you thinking he’s saying there’s something wrong with you. Because of course there isn’t. And he doesn’t want to keep going without you knowing what he’s trying to do.
Like he said…it’s delicate.
So the next time he had you over, he let you lead. He made no move to change your course as you kissed down his bare inked chest, over the sparse patch of hair that swirled just beneath his navel, and pulled him hot and leaking from behind his blue checkered shield. And even as his instincts screamed in protest, he let you take him into the warmth of your mouth and bob on his cock until he came—a shuddering, whining, blubbering mess as he filled your throat.
All part of the plan. All part of the plan.
It took a bit of time for him to recover and he spent every second of it loving on you—each graze of his fingers and lips leisurely, but thorough. He kissed all the parts of you he thought might have been left unattended too long: the undersides of your breasts marked by the indentations of your bra; the soft span of skin that ran along the inside of your forearm to the crease of your elbow; the sides of your ribcage that quivered at the tickle of his warm breath.
And he watched your face every step of the way, studying you until you dropped fully into that deeply relaxed state. He let his hand drift down between your legs, skimming them over the sensitive skin there, making you tremble all over in anticipation. Alright, this was it.
“Hey, baby,” he murmured, a low rumble between kisses along your collarbone.
“Yeah?”
You hummed out your reply, looking down at him with heavy lidded eyes, half gone already. It made Eddie grin, his smile all teeth.
Oh, this was gonna be fun.
“I was wondering if you’ve ever had a multiple?”
The question made your brow wrinkle and you frowned slightly. “Multiple? Multiple what?”
“Multiple orgasms,” he said with a light chuckle. “Like if I fingered you until you came and then went down on you until you came again. Made you come over, and over, and over…”
You gasped as his tongue traced the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your body.
“Can that…does that happen?” you asked with a breathy sigh. He just smiled at the adorably incredulous look on your face and nodded.
“Of course,” he said. “I think that’s like the main thing you guys have going for you in this arena. Something to make up for all the annoying shit you have to put up with from your body.”
Another chuckle makes his chest shake as he rubs a hand over your lower belly, remembering how you’d asked him once just to press on it with his strong, warm palm and offer some relief from your cramps that were particularly bad one night.
“Oh. I mean…I’ve heard that, I guess. I kind of always thought it was a joke.”
“Well, I might not get you there,” Eddie said, giving you a smile he hopes is reassuring. “And if it doesn’t feel good or it hurts or anything, just tell me and we’ll stop. No harm, no foul.”
You pinched the edge of his comforter between your fingers and tugged at it, twisting it into a little peak at your side. “That sounds…really good,” you told him quietly.
“So, I can try?” he asked, brow lifting. “It’s okay?”
“I mean, yeah…” You chewed your lip, still a little hesitant. “But what about you?”
Eddie smirked, all sly and wily as he brushed the backs of his fingers along the softness of your cheek. “We did me already,” he reminded you.
Your cheeks heated at the memory, the taste of his come still sitting warm on your tongue as you swallowed thickly. Admittedly, you’d been kind of surprised when he let you go down on him first and actually finished in your mouth. Normally he was tugging you off him as soon as he felt himself losing it, grunting out something about not wanting to go too quickly.
“Okay,” you said with a small smile. “It just seems a little unfair”
“How’s it unfair if it’s what I want?” he murmured, voice dropping back to that low rumble.
Hard to argue with that, you supposed. 
A beaming smile spread across your face and you twisted your fingers in the ball chain necklace that dangled around his neck to pull him closer. You answered his question with the press of your lips against his own, inhaling a shaky breath when you pulled away. Eddie’s nose nudged against yours, mashing into the softness of your cheek to resume the kiss. His hand came up to cradle your jaw and his mouth moved in that slow, sensuous way that made your insides dance and leap and spin like an entire company of ballerinas.
The kiss itself is so dizzying, you almost forgot about Eddie’s initial intentions until you felt his fingers begin to gently glide through your soaking folds. He swallowed your little mewl of relief as two of them finally sank inside your warmth while his thumb brushed teasingly light over your clit. It doesn’t take long at all for your arousal to coat his fingers, for your body to gush for him.
“Ed, I’m…I’m coming,” you breathed out, tingling with that initial burst of pleasure.
“Thats it, baby,” Eddie nodded, going along with it one last time. “You’re doing so good for me.”
He drew a single, high moan out of you—more like a gasp of relief as your body fully relaxed and all the stiffness in your shoulders and tension in your limbs melted away. You let your head loll to the side and smiled, almost dazed with the feeling. Pride surged in his chest from the way you looked at him sometimes—so perfectly content and elated because he was all yours. 
The look he gave you was rapturous as he licked his lips and started to make his way down, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake that dotted across your chest, between the valley of your breasts, down your sternum and the soft pudge of your tummy. You propped yourself up to watch him as his mop of dark curls dipped between your thighs, fingers still sitting snug inside your warm, wet walls. Your chest rose and fell with each deep breath and he could only imagine how hard your heart must be pounding for you to try and slow it like you are.
“I’m gonna try for another, okay?” he soothed. “Stay relaxed for me, beautiful.”
You nodded back and let your head drop down, sinking deep into the embrace of your pillow.
Eddie pumped his fingers a few more times, faster now and crooking them upwards in search of that spot inside you that had eluded him far too long. The deftness of his touch coupled with the eager swipes of his tongue had your body heaving now as he traced a maddening pattern, swirling side to side and weaving it through your center.
Eyes suddenly fluttering open and closed, you whined softly and squirmed in his grasp as his tongue decisively swerved away from where you needed him most. The anticipation made your hips rock into his face, chasing more of the feeling as he teased you relentlessly.
His free arm promptly wrapped around your thigh, his hand gripping at the soft flesh to keep your legs spread apart. He was deeply thorough in his exploration, nose occasionally brushing against your clit that was practically crying out for his attention. His hot breath fanned along your inner thighs and he moaned deeply with each lick so you could feel the vibrations in your core.
You lost track of how long he was down there, allowing yourself to be swept away with the riot of sensations, realizing just a little too late your body was working towards something new. 
The feeling creeps up on you, trickling through your muscles, causing all of them to twitch and spasm, tensing and releasing in waves. Little whines and pants of pleasure start to spill out of your mouth, the desperate little sounds like the most beautiful music to Eddie’s ears.
It makes him grind down into the bed, desperate to hear more.
“Feel good?” he asked, brow lifting behind sweaty bangs as round doe eyes look up at you.
“So g-good,” you panted, the sound almost pained with pleasure. “So sensitive…”
“You taste like heaven, you know that?” he murmurs to your cunt. “I could do this forever.”
He genuinely could, but it seems he won’t have to. You’re getting close now. He can feel it in the way your thighs start to tremble against his ears; the way another gush of you floods across his tongue. His eyes darted sideways to where your hand rests on the blanket, flexing with the need to grab onto something. Anything.
One last time, he squeezed at the meat of your thigh and then unwrapped his arm from around it to reach out instead and thread his fingers with yours. Your grip is bone crushing and only makes him hold on tighter as he points the tip of his tongue to increase its pressure.
“E-Eddie, it feels…something feels different…”
“It’s okay, baby,” he said, the pace of his fingers never faltering. “I’ve got you, just let go.”
He wished he could bottle the look on your face. Eyes scrunched up, brow furrowed as though you were deep in concentration. Lips parted in a wanton gasp as your chest swelled. His mouth came back to your clit, resuming the motions that had you clenching around his fingers.
“Oh…ohhh my…oh, fuck…”
When he feels you starting to unravel, feels that band coiled tight in your core start to snap, it takes everything he has in him to stay the course—especially when the hand of yours he’s not holding winds into his hair and you grasp desperately at his curls. The groan it elicits from him is deep and guttural, the sound of it radiating in the room. And finally he feels it happening—your pussy spasming around his fingers, threatening to snap them clean off you’re clenching so tight; hips bucking and stomach quivering with the effort of drawing breath.
“Fuck, Eddie, don’t stop!” you cried out. “That feels so good, holy fucking shit—”
So much for being quiet, Eddie thought mischievously.
Your head is pushing back into the pillow now, back arching under you, lifting you off the bed. He’s clamped tight against you though, his lips sealed around your clit and sucking like his life depends on it. In a way, it feels like it does.
“I’m gon…I’m gonna…I’m co—”
The words dissolve into a moan, the sound of it higher and louder than anything else Eddie has drawn out of you before. Pride explodes in his chest as he finally feels what he’s been waiting for—that exquisite vice around his fingers as he continues to stroke that sacred spot.
Your body floods with the feeling, waves of it surging through you, seeing white behind your eyes that are still pinched shut. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before—every synapse firing at once, every molecule in your body exploding like a tiny firework.
Distantly, you register his voice coaxing you through it as you reluctantly return to earth. Yes, baby, that’s it, thaaaat’s it—fuck me, you’re so fucking hot when you come, Jesus fucking Christ…
You opened your eyes, blinking through bleary vision as the world came back into focus.
Eddie grinned, smile almost wolfish when he lifted himself from between your legs. Triumph flashed in his dark eyes, his gaze roving all over as he began a slow crawl up your body, his cock now standing at attention with its vigor renewed.
“Okay,” he panted, dragging his hand across his mouth and chin that were slick with your spend as he leaned in to kiss you. “That’s one.”
1K notes · View notes