#drunk text

[brewed-pangolin]

Drunk Text

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x Fem Reader

18+ MDNI: Sexual themes.

Synopsis: You send Johnny a drunk text. It ends with a cop at your front door. (I'm teasing you all before the smut hits the literal fan). Unedited because I'm having way too much fun.

"You up?"

You press 'send'. Thumbs leisurely fumbling over the screen as your vision blurs and mind spins in a concoction of intoxicants.

You were sluggishly writing another message when he responds.

"Aye.

"Where are you?"

You question his inquiry for a moment. Eyes glazed and glancing up at the time on the screen.

2:36am.

Dammit.

"O'Reilly's."

He doesn't respond right away. But you can hear his deep brogue in your mind. Most definitely a stunned yet slightly intrigued 'Steamin' Jesus' escaping his lips.

"Need a ride?"

He's such a gentleman. Always has been. Yet with the sweet ethanol coursing through your veins and clouding your judgement, you couldn't help but give into your fiery and animalistic needs.

"You gonna be my saddle?

Again. No response.

After a few drowned out and muffled moments, his caller ID image popped up on the screen. Your lips curled into a devilish smile, swiping without hesitation to answer the call.

"Hi, Johnny.." You answer. Words slightly slurred. Languidly meandering together and your voice husky with an aire of whiskey fueled confidence.

"Yer a dirty little minx, y'know that?"

"What? You offered me a ride."

"Aye. I did."

There was a slight pause in your thoughts. Overtaken by the cacophony of sounds around you as your mind spiraled into a realm of provocative images.

"Well? Can I get a ride?"

He responded immediately with a rumbling growl. Even with the music blaring and sea of voices behind you, your ears easily picked up the subtle arousal bubbling within his throaty timbre.

"Be there in ten minutes."

You chase your victory with another shot. Hanging up with a triumphant slam of the glass on the bar as you close out your tab and walk out to wait for your drunken trophy at the front of the bar.

Two hours later, you were standing in the doorway of your apartment. Repeatedly apologizing to the officer in the hall and reassuring him there was most certainly not an altercation going on.

"I am so sorry, officer. Believe me, there's nothing going on."

You wrap the knitted blanket tightly around your chest and underneath your arms. Shielding your apparent nudity while the officer looks at you with a slightly gregarious grin.

"Just keep it down, ma'am."

"Yes, sir."

You both turn and part ways. He disappearing down the hall as you close the door and immediately march back into your bedroom.

And you can't help the sly grin curling into your lips as your eyes take in his overly confident expression. His hands resting behind his head, his muscular torso expanding as he takes in the sight of you.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, Johnny." You tease. The blanket around you effortlessly falling to the floor as your eyes lock into his dark and hungry gaze.

"Mmm. I'm countin' on it, bonnie."

If there was one thing that rang true that night, it was that your neighbors wouldn't get a moments rest. Because you were too busy riding a Scotsman like a whiskey possessed cowgirl.

The rodeo had definitely come into town.

(Omg, this last line is so stupid. But I had to.)

Part 2?

Drabbles Masterlist

@deadbranch @d3athtr4psworld @punishmepunisher @sofasoap @jynxmirage @homicidal-slvt @obligatoryghoststare @glitterypirateduck @kkaaaagt @mykneeshurt @shotmrmiller @astraluminaaa @macravishedbymactavish @haurasha

[4am-enha]

Enha when: you low-key confess (but you’re drunk).

description/tags: small text screenshots with each member, their reactions, you went out partying, you’re drunk, you lowkey (maybe high key actually) confess romantic feelings to your friends over text, you’ll regret that in the morning.

warnings: swearing, intoxicated reader, purposely bad spelling and typos.

note: another text format for you guys! <3 all notes are appreciated!

˚ ₊‧ ୨ ꙳⸌♡⸍꙳ ୧ ‧₊˚  

[creatingnikki]

you tell me you don't like poetry. that you prefer a messy text with bad grammar but authentic emotion. and I smile and tell you that my poetry is a lot like that, a list of drunk texts at 2 am I never sent the person I wrote them for. minus the bad grammar. but authentic emotion? but words that aren't pompous? expression that's human? that's what my poetry is. and now at close to 2 am, I want to send you some texts. authentic emotion. lower caps. lacking punctuation perhaps. but what would I say? I'm not drunk. and I'm not in love. maybe one day you will read my poetry and wonder if in another universe we would know each other better and how wonderfully authentic that would be, how spectacularly human.

[upwards-descent]

Please reblog to expand sample size!

[historynerd1945]

Made a comic based on that one meme

[jeoncanis]

5th December: I wish, I was who you drunk texted at midnight

[stardestroyerss]

Drunk Text by DragonWulf out now

[too-much-imagination]

I want love. I just want to be in love. I want to love. I want to be loved. I just want love in my life so badly. I can’t stand anymore days without an affection. I want pure love. Give me that. Please. I beg you. I don’t need anything else. I have everything but love. Please…

[thissquirrelgirl]

❝ text me when you get home safe. ❞ [I know she beat up Doctor Doom but that's not the point D: ]

Doreen had never really been out drinking before, as she had never been very interested in alcohol, nor had she been of legal drinking age for very long, so the experience of being tipsy (maybe even a little drunk) was new to her.

Tess had insisted on walking her home, but Doreen argued that Tess's home was completely in the opposite direction and she could handle herself during the four-block walk it took to get her and Nancy's apartment on the -- she had kicked Doom's butt (for the third time!) last month and had *just* given Mr. Sinister a piece of her mind three days ago. A few cocktails in her stomach wasn't going to change that.

But Doreen felt terrible about it long after she and Tess parted ways for the evening -- the woman was just showing her that she cared, but tipsy Doreen was more headstrong than sober Doreen.

So, after fumbling with the keys to her front door and kicking her shoes off, she stopped and pulled out her phone to text Tess about her safe return and to thank her.

{Made it back... thanks Tess, you're the G.O.A.T!"}

It wasn't until the next morning that Doreen realized how tipsy she had been actually been when she had checked the message she had sent Tess the night before:

{Made it back,,,thanks Tess, you're a goat!"}

[sportsandlaughs]

[piggypiggyya]

. 𝗂𝗇⠀ 𝟏𝟕𝟗𝟖.⠀ 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖽⠀ 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍⠀ ﹠⠀ 𝗈𝗅𝖽⠀ 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗌⠀ .

. . 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁⠀ なた⠀ 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋⠀ ! . .

[spidercookie18]

I had the best wet dream last night ❤️‍🔥

I was play fighting with [insert name] and I ended up getting pinned, then he made me straddle him infront of a lot of people. He started bullying me and saying mean horny things to me. He started grabbing and spanking my ass, and he spread my ass and made me bend over for everyone to see how wet I was getting. He moved my shorts and my clit started rubbing on the seam of my jeans. He saw how flustered I was getting and he started making me grind on his cock. His tip was rubbing so hard against my clit and I started cumming.. he made me keep cumming until I was crying into his shoulder and then finally when I was a sobbing, trembling mess he made me choke on his cock.

Ahhhhh best dream 🤤

[musicforlyrics]

[upwards-descent]

I drew top surgery scars and a shitty tboy stache on our box of Little Caesars and my partner keeps cringing over it

[cryptid-corpse]

Sick of pretending I care about things that aren't sleeping, fucking or eating a cheese pizza like?? Everything else is just horrible to deal with

[ashthewaterghoul]

*Marlene drunk texting Dorcas*

Marlene: You’re the best girlfriend ever.

Dorcas: I’m your wife.

Marlene: Omg, that’s awesome!