#this is the worlds most dumbest thing

[time-woods]

ice king pipeline ig

[frnkiebby]

he is, once again, a fucking mood~🎃

[sapp0w0]

Guys, where the hell is this Doujin and how tf can I obtain it

[mitski-slope]

case 1 is so funny 2 me bc like . either laurent picked up a Random candy brand and thought . hey . These Ones could probably pass as drugs . haha jk unless … and just went on the assumption that cassano would never hv found out (likely) Or he went thru the trouble of personally making his own Looks Like Candy Is Candy But Also Acts As Fake Contraband product for the sake of the con (less likely but infinitely funnier)

[pepprs]

currently.

[hypermania]

favorite reaction i get from anybody ever is when i say something to my roommate that he thinks he should find upsetting/appalling/exasperating/etc but really he just finds it funny because his face goes blank for half a second and then immediately becomes tight as he tries not to laugh/smile and then he puts his head in his hands and i know i've won

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

I read a lot of ur vent/original posts and wish I could reply with comfort/advice but I don’t wanna impede too much

hey i’m just talking to the void but if the void talks back sometimes, i won’t complain

[cowboyishbabe]

😭😭😭

[erythristicbones]

thinking about the lizard-variant naga i made for one of my stories(bastard man <3) and becoming so fucking overwhelmed with the urge to design two more that are just my leopard geckos. i don't even know where i'd be able to stick them story-wise but i think it's v important my dumb children get to be immortalized as OCs

[wosoamazing]

Your Love Story

Summary: The lead up to proposing to your girlfriend

Warnings: None?

You came up behind her, and wrapped your hands around her waist before you rested your chin on her shoulder. She was talking to Leah, who was getting some things prepared before the rest of the team came over. You knew Leah quite well considering her and Lia had such a close friendship, you remember the night you asked Leah if she knew whether Lia was interested in marriage or not, she didn’t say yes, instead what she said was “You make her happy Y/N, like really happy, you have both been through a lot in the 2 years you have been together but not once have you butted heads. I watched you support her through her ankle injury and comforted her when she thought she might miss out on the world cup. God, you even comforted me when I found out I couldn't go to the world cup. And between you and me she has said she doesn’t think she has ever loved someone the way she loves you, and has never felt the way you make her feel. So if you ask, she will say yes.” Ever since that night, you started looking at engagement rings, showing Leah ones every now and then, until the day you found the perfect one and went with Leah to buy it, it was sitting in a hiding place at Leah’s house so Lia didn’t find out, you had asked her parents if it was okay if you could ask her the question and they were both ecstatic. The last step was to meet the team, and ask if they were okay with it. Leah told you it wasn’t necessary you knew that but wanted to ask as they were a family and if you married Lia you would become part of their family. Leah didn’t tell you, but she knew after hearing that the girls would absolutely say yes. It wasn’t hard to meet the girls, Lia had been asking you to come to team bonding nights for some time now, but you always had something on, she was delighted to hear you say yes, when she asked about this one.

____

Beth and Viv were the first to arrive, Lia went to open the door, whilst you helped Leah with the charcuterie board, her layout was offending you, so you fixed it. 

“Woah, Lia, you never told us your girl was a model.” Beth said as she walked into the kitchen.

You looked up at her smiling kindly before saying “Not the model, just the designer.”

You were Stella McCartney assistant, that’s how you met Lia, at the Arsenal WFC x Stella McCartney Kit Shoot, you had just said hello and were making small talk, discussing the new kit design with her, when Stella came over, you had somewhere to be, so you said bye. You then DMed Lia on instagram and you started talking, one thing turned into another and now you were preparing yourself to marry her. You didn’t want to tell the girls too much about your work however you wondered if any of them might realise who you are, as Stella had recently done an interview where she was asked what made her company run so successfully and smoothly and she said you.

____

“Finally letting us meet your girl, are ya now Lia” Katie, your girlfriend's teammate, teased, as she found a seat on the couch.

“Would anyone like a drink?” Leah asked, many of the girls said yes so you went to help Leah, you could hear the girls talking to Lia but you couldn't actually here what they were saying, but it was safe to say it was about you, as when you and Leah reappeared with drinks handing them to everyone the chatter stopped.

Lia  was sitting crossed legged on the couch, body angled slightly sideways, you walked over to her handing her a drink, placing a kiss on her lips,  before sitting down in her lap, she wrapped her free hand around your body to keep you close. All the girls kept looking over at you and Lia, you just kept ignoring them.

Someone had decided to turn on the Arsenal Men’s premier league match which had resulted in a heated discussion on tactics, and you decided to just sit back and listen, however that changed when Katie suggested the most dumbest idea, and you quickly spoke up. An action you immediately regretted, as the team fell into a heavy silence, and remained like that for a lengthy period of time, thankfully it was eventually broken by Katie “Lia, your girl isn’t just pretty to look at” you blushed at her comment, not only did she just say you were pretty but she had complimented your tactical view.

“What can I say, she really is perfect,” you cringed at her sickly sweet comment, however deep down you really appreciated it.

____

You were in bed one night with Lia, she laid behind you, with you resting on her arm, whilst playing with the rings on her fingers, you couldn't fall asleep.

“Baby, are you okay?” she asked, wondering why you were playing with her rings, it was something you did only when you were nervous.

You turned around to face her, “do you want to have kids one day?” you looked into her soft eyes, asking the question that had been playing on your mind ever since you visited your sister and her family the other day.

“With you, absolutely” she replied back warmly, before moving a piece of hair out of your face and pulling you in for a soft kiss, you were happy with her response, so you turned back around, you both fell asleep in the same position every night, and you were the little spoon, even though you were taller.

“Love you,” You whispered before snuggling up and drifting off to sleep.

____

You’d gone back to Switzerland with Lia to see her parents, after a week Leah was going to join you both for a girls  trip, little did your girlfriend know that you were going to propose to her.

During your week with the Wälti’s you had managed to convince Lia to get a manicure for some self care, you both also got your hair done, it was an early Christmas present from her parents, who had ‘accidentally’ booked appointments for you both and not bought you gift vouchers, meaning after your nails you had to get your hair done.

It was the second day into your girls trip when you all ‘opted’ for a hike in the mounts, you somehow managed to convince Lia to wear a cute outfit for your so called hike

Lia was wearing a pair of black jeans, with a white t-shirt half tucked, and a light tan puffer jacket, over the top. Your outfit was similar, you too had a pair of jeans on, a white t-shirt and a puffer jacket, however your jeans were light blue and your puffer jacket was a cropped black one.

You stopped off at a seemingly random spot, to have a drink of water, putting your bags down as you admired your scenery, you stood behind your girlfriend, chin rested on her shoulder as you pulled the small box out of your pocket, you turned your head around to look at Leah who nodded, this was the moment, you stepped next to your girlfriend, “Li,” she turned to looked at you, her jaw dropped, “Will you marry me?”

“No” “No?” you asked slightly confused but also saddened.

“No, yes, yes, of course I’ll marry you, you’re perfect, literally, you are the best girl in the world. The girls kept telling me I needed to put a ring on it before someone else took you, but you beat me to it.”

You started crying, “I love you Li, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you too,” you both pulled each other in, it felt as though sparks were flying as your lips connected.

Leah stood there grinning as she took photos and videos.

“Wait you knew,” Lia said as she looked at her best friend, “yes,” “for how long?”

“Since before I met the girls, I’ve had the ring before then too” You chime in.

“What. So this was never just a girls trip.” “No baby, of course not, I love you, I wasn’t going to wait any longer”

[business-as-usual-bats]

Tim: I have never read a book in its entirety. I refuse. If I never read the ending then I can create my own ending however I see fit. It's the closest I'll come to godhood

Jason: that's the dumbest-

Dick: wait I think he's onto something. Imagine giving a every book you read a happy ending

Tim: happy? Interesting I've never considered that option

Damian: so you don't know how anything ends? That explains all your poor planning

Duke: What about textbooks?

Tim: if it was important they'd tell me in the earlier chapters

Jason: so what you're saying is-

Tim: I do not know how to change the batmobile tire that was in the very back of the manual

Jason: do tell how you decided that one ended

Tim: I called the people I trusted most in the world to come help me and like a true loving family they did

Dick: awww, of course we'll help-

Damian: absolutely not. Consider this a lesson in finishing what you started

Tim: I'm not above bribery. Pick an animal. Any animal. I'll have it in the manor by sunset tomorrow

Duke: I'm actually with Damian on this one- you should learn from this

Jason: also the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me

Tim, with a monotone voice: in my version they all died

Dick, Damian, Duke, Jason: ...

Damian: *tt* I expect a giraffe in the lobby by daylight

Jason: fine I'll help too but I'm stealing the hub caps

Duke: I'll come up with a believable cover story

Dick: some things never change❤️

[darlingbabyboo]

"Baby, you're my whore!"

♡ Tokyo Revengers characters and their bimbo girlfriends ♡

Ken Ryuguji (Draken)

It has been said before and I will be one of the people to say it again

Definition of dress slutty: I can fight

Growing up in a brothel (with women that made sure that he was drinking his respect women juice everyday) he lets you dress however you please

Your skirt might be too short for his comfort, but as long as you feel comfortable and satiated, he's gonna bite his tongue

Who is he, to mess with what the love of his life wants?

On your stupidity

He's been hanging out with dumbasses all his life, if his baby happens to be a bit of a dumb fuck, he won't say a thing

He also thinks that you're absolutely adorable when you look at him with question in your eyes and say the most idiotic things known to man

A bit exasperating

But moreso adorable

"Kenny." He hums to show you that he's listening and continues fixing up his motorcycle. "What's the matter angel?"

"Why doesn't hair grow at the side of your head." He blinks and looks back at you, genuine wonder in your eyes. He sighs, and presses his forehead against the cool of his bike.

"Kenny, are you okay!?" He feels your arms wrap around his shoulders and your weight begin to press against him. You're ridiculous, but he loves you so much it hurts. He couldn't imagine a life without you around.

"'s nothing angel, don't worry your pretty head about it."

Takemichi Hanagaki (Takemitchy)

He's weak to you okay, he loves your short skirts that barely cover up your panties and your tight shirts that show off your lace bra's (if you even wear one some days)

You can say the dumbest shit or do the stupidest things and he'll be nodding along like a little puppy dog

Is it so wrong to be completely in love with your girlfriend? He worships you like a god and how dare anyone have the nerve to blame him?

You see the world in a way that he could never imagine, and you open his eyes to a world of possibilities

He just believes that he's lucky that you two are even together, you're beautiful and kind and even if there's not a lot going on in your head, you're the best girl that he's ever known

He just wants to be with you forever

You jump into his open arms, your arms wrapping around his neck and his automatically enclose around your waist. "Sweetie, I got a 40% on my test?" You say, cheerfully.

"W-what? I'm sorry. I know you studied hard for that."

"What?" You crock your head to the side and look at him with confusion in your eyes, "no, all I need is another 40% and then I'll be at an 80% average!"

Takemichi opens his mouth to say something, mainly, what in the world would make you think that, and how the hell do you think averages work? Instead, he shakes his head and gives a soft smile. He loves how you see the world, no matter how ridiculous it is, though he's going to need to talk to you about how grades work. He squeezes your waist, "I believe in you Sweetheart."

Takashi Mitsuya

He supports your endeavours, he even encourages them!

You want to wear a skirt that shows off your panties, sure! Just let him make a few adjustments and- while we're at it, why doesn't he just bedazzle that top too!

He wants the best for his darling, which means that you're going to be wearing things fit for a queen

It's in his nature to spoil his girl, so don't worry your pretty little head about any of the gorgeous clothes that you want, he's already on it

Though, there's not a lot going in your pretty little head, which he doesn't necessarily mind

He doesn't care if you stay the stupidest shit imaginable

You look at him with so much love and admiration in your eyes that he can't find it in him to worry too much about you

"Taka! This is so cute!" You spin around in your skirt, which raises above the lace panties that he also handmade for you. "Too bad about the people living in olden times." You pout.

Mitsuya walks up to you with a raised brow at your words. He wraps his hands around your waist, trying to think about what you could possibly mean. "Why, my love?" He finally bites.

You go on your tiptoes and press a kiss on his cheek, leaving behind a glittery mark. "They had to live in black and couldn't see all these pretty colours, like the clothes you make for me!"

Mitsuya nods along to your words, smile already pulling up at your words. He presses a kiss on your forehead. "That's not how it works my love."

You look at him with so much love and admiration in your eyes, expecting him to explain everything to you. He smiles, brushing his thumb against your cheek. He's so hopelessly in love with you.

Keisuke Baji

He adores harlots, whores, and anything else of the variety!

He loves the dumb, hazy look in your eyes when you come across something "complicated" (first time he's the smart one in a relationship)

Loves the things you dress up, encourages you to dress however you want, you know what, get even sluttier! He wants your skirt to be so short that your panties show when you stretch the tiniest bit, shirts so tight that you can't wear a bra

He loves his babygirl, and everyone's free to take a look at you

As long as they remember that you belong to him

"Babe, what's wrong?" You question as Baji grips his hands around yours and growls. You press a kiss to his lips as you try to calm him down. Greedily, he bites your bottom lip and deepens the kiss, hands on your ass.

"Asshole was flirting with my pretty girl. Hate when people try to touch what's mine."

You start to tear up, thinking he's angry with you, "sorry baby, I didn't know!"

"Nonono," He presses his lips against you harder, adoring the way that your red lipstick will leave behind marks on his lips, "not your fault- never your fault. Jus' means we gotta set his car on fire." You nod in understanding, not thinking twice of his act of violence. He gives you a wide, toothy grin, he doesn't think that he could love someone more.

Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)

Definition of a tease

He doesn't care how you dress (one of the people that really adores how you dress and would appreciate you to get even sluttier). You could wear a bra and a thong outside and he wouldn't bat an eye.

He just loves making fun for how naïve you can be.

"C'mon, one kiss!"

"No!" You huff, crossing your arms and facing your back to him, "'m 100% loyal to 'hoya."

He restrains his laugh, biting down on his lip. "Baby, I am Nahoya!" He manages to force out (though some giggles slip his lips).

"No! You said you were Souya! 'm not gonna fall for your tricks!"

You already are he desperately wants to say, but he's having too much fun messing with you. "Well, now I'm saying I'm Nahoya."

He doesn't need to look your way to know that your brows have furrowed deeper, trying to run through things in your small little head. "No! I'm not a cheater."

He sucks his teeth. His stomach's gonna hurt with how much he's gonna be laughing later. He turns you around and presses a quick kiss against your lips, you giving an indignant gasp at the action. You'll probably be whining about this later, when he explains what's going on, but this was worth it. God, you're a keeper.

Yasuhiro Muto (Mucho)

Not someone who loves the way you dress, wouldn't disapprove of it completely, he would never tell you how to do things or what clothes to wear, but he subtly encourages you to wear something else

It doesn't come from a bad place, he's just protective of you and doesn't want you to get harassed (he's also a bit traditional)

If you're determined to wear what you want, then he'll bend to your will. He would never let you be uncomfortable

He'll get used to things, just for you

Your intelligence, though...

He loves you through and through but he's always on the look-out around you. He has to make sure that no one is taking advantage of your innocence

"What's going on here?" The guys crowding you stutter away, looking at him with wide eyes. You don't notice the fear that has blanketed them and beam at him, running to wrap your arms around his waist.

"'hiro. These guys are asking if I want to hang out with them in, do you want to come with us?"

He purses his lips, yet another group of guys preying on your naivety. "No darling, I think we're going to go, I'm sure that these guys understand." He narrows his eyes at them so that they understand the consequences if they try to stay around you. They get the message, scurrying away like rats they are. You look at them with a pout on your lips, not aware of their dark intentions. He cups the side of your face and turns you towards him, "darling, why don't we see a movie at home." Your frown quickly disappears, a wide smile replacing it.

"That sounds great 'hiro!"

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 3

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: three

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

brightness

we have training tomorrow

just a reminder

the REAL karate kid

ughh

kie

what's the bet leah and georgia

are gonna be a show off

while niamh's gonna be off in her own world

neev

hey! no need to call me out like that

i do focus

stairway

i am not a show off

willybum

me neither!

door knob

you guys need proof?

the imposter

damn

you guys got that athletic build 💪

the REAL karate kid

......

willybum

.......

stairway

.......

elton

.......

earpsy

.......

brightness

.......

neev

.......

lotte

.......

maya

.......

daily

.......

the imposter

YO

HOW MANY OF YOU ARE ON THIS CHAT??

elton

i think the rest are asleep

the imposter

are you guys all part of some cult omg

and why do you guys have like

group training together?

that's kinda sus

the REAL karate kid

honestly it's kinda fun and chaotic

lotte

are we all gonna ignore the fact that

nobbs has photos of georgia's and leah's muscles?

door knob

are we just gonna keep referring

the imposter as imposter?

or if anyone's gonna ask her name?

the imposter

your name's nobbs??

LMAO THE DOOR KNOB MAKES SO

MUCH MORE SENSE NOW 😭💀

also

my name's y/n

neev

that is such a pretty name

the imposter

thank you!

elton

you know

you never really answered

lotte's question nobbs ....

willybum

it's because i'm her favourite duh

stairway

um it's actually me

hence why she sent a photo of mine first

meado

and here we go again

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

elton

oi

hello

@everyone

why is everyone so dead right now

earpsy

maybe it's the fact that we just finished training

the REAL karate kid

and because we actually have lives

elton

that's a lie and we all know it

the imposter

how was training?

neev

tiring

feeling quite dead rn

willybum

funny actually

lessi slipped and slammed

face first into the training mat

elton

that was the highlight of my day

the REAL karate kid

glad to know my misery

causes you guys happiness

rusty metal

guys

i stumbled upon the best photo ever

my eyes have been blessed

stairway

omg

bronzy in her active era??

daily

ooh do show

lotte

it's intrigued my interest now too

rusty metal

neev

LMAO

willybum

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS

the REAL karate kid

CRYING RN 😭💀

elton

STOP 😭

this is a masterpiece

i'm saving this

stairway

she's a barbie gurl 💅

earpsy

PLS 💀

willybum

i'm blocking yall

stairway

your eyes just can't handle this much art

the imposter

hello friends of y/n!

i was trying to take photos of y/n

and accidentally clicked into here

neev

hello friend of y/n

the imposter

WHAT IS THAT PHOTO OF LEAH WILLIAMSON 😭

is this some kind of football fan cult??

some of your usernames are familiar in a strange way

idk why i can't seem to place it

elton

hmm quite strange

don't you all agree?

stairway

hmm very strange indeed

brightness

yes

daily

indeed

willybum

very

the REAL karate kid

where's y/n?

the imposter

standing in front of me

has no clue i'm on this chat

i'll send a photo

hang on

(lets just pretend they can see your face in the photo)

now she wants her phone back

goodbye strange strangers

elton

......

stairway

......

willybum

......

the REAL karate kid

......

neev

......

rusty metal

......

brightness

......

daily

......

doorknobs

......

meado

......

kie

......

earpsy

......

maya

......

lotte

......

lauren 1

......

stairway

the whole chat rn:

elton

i was not expecting this today-

the REAL karate kid

toone, this is literally the best

most dumbest thing you've done-

neev

honestly

lotte

my eyes have been blessed twice today

willybum

wow

the REAL karate kid

you can get my number wrong

anytime toone

part four here

[rainbluealoekitten]

when even the fake taxes make you want to commit fraud and run away

[not-wholly-unheroic]

50 Random Character Asks:

1. Canon I outright reject

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

3. Obscure headcanon

4. Favorite line

5. Best personality trait

6. Worst personality trait

7. Age/height/weight headcanon

8. Unpopular opinion about them

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

11. Faceclaim for the role

12. Crack headcanon

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

14. Most heroic moment

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

19. Vices/bad habits

20. Scars

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

22. Best physical feature

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

24. Most annoying habit

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

26. What they would do if stuck in an elevator with [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

27. Their guilty pleasure

28. How they feel about [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

29. Eating habits

30. Sleeping habits

31. If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

34. How they react when they are feeling X emotion (sad, angry, excited, scared, etc.—can specify as many as you like)

35. Their idea of a perfect day

36. Their favorite season

37. What they really think about themselves

38. Favorite holiday

39. Favorite game

40. Favorite book

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

42. 3 comfort items

43. 3 favorite foods and 3 they despise

44. Their happiest memory

45. Their favorite celebrity

46. The person they most admire

47. Their dream job

48. Scariest moment of their life

49. Favorite toy as a child

50. A memory they’ve blocked out