#this is very fun i will not last one term tho. fun.

[vonlipvig]

ok i'm actually really enjoying suzerain so far. i was a bit wary about the management aspect of it, but it's not a timed game which is usually what makes me anxious, it's completely text-based and you get all the time you need to make your decisions. basically read and decide, and i can do those just fine.

sure, maybe the decisions i'm making are the worst decisions you could probably make and i'm dooming this country little by little, but hey! i'm having fun so that's all that matters, yippee!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

damn... kinda mad i didn't die in my dream last night... could've added another method to the list

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[depresseddepot]

finally FINALLY finished watching the legend of korra. it only took me LITERALLY ten years

[gothwizardmagic]

btw mutuals if you would like to contribute an art to my cool art hallway feel free to send me something & ill do my best to replicate it! (you can see the one flags sent in the last slide of my whare highlight on insta)

[spud-works]

I fucking hate Destiny 2, it's my favorite game

[desparaic]

Imagine Rengoku's son traveling to the past pt.2

Rengoku X Fem! Reader

Also in the future, there’s a long pause after red light arc. Hence tengen already retired in Future Son’s timeline. and [spoiler alert] yes we will absolutely ignore the mark curse

read part 1 here.

“Oh, what breathing technique do you use?”

You ask your…. son? kid? dang you never thought you would be able to say that to a teenager this early in your life, especially when you’re not long into the marriage

“Flame breathing!” He says with a proud grin (why this kid so cute you wanna coddle him to death)

“Following your father’s footstep, I see! Did he teach you personally?” You smile, thinking about your husband teaching your son swordsmanship. Ugh the thought of it makes your heart melt.

“Nope. From Grandfather!”

h

huh?

tafa???

Grandfather??? Like Rengoku’s father??? Your father in law???? The man who can’t even get up and do something else other than drinking and yelling at other people?????

He taught your son flame breathing?????

You are confusion

You ask why didn’t his father teach him instead

“… Anyway! Do you want to spar?”

This kid—

okay, well, clearly he doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he’s on bad terms with his father???

But you can’t imagine Kyojuro being a bad father or someone who has a tense relationship with his kids. The last thing he wants to be is to be like his father. You know that. He himself told you that before.

So maybe he’s just in the middle of an argument with his father??? Like… a really long one…

yeah that could be it

So you decide to spar with him (you don’t have anything else to do anyway other than walking around the nearby village)

you kick his butt

It feels refreshing and fun. not because you’re beating your future child.

You never have this feeling sparring with anyone before. It’s cute. You’re experiencing a mother-son time except…. you ain’t a mother yet… but you are— will??? idk

In the middle of sparring (how many rounds has it been??), Kyojuro appears with a big grin, before it fades and he tilts his head confusedly.

“MY LOVE! WHO IS THIS PERSON??”

Hooo boy

Both of you whip your head to see him

“HE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME! HAHAHA!”

Bless your husband, he isn’t even phased that there’s a rando lookin like he’s his clone

BUT YOU HECKAAA EXCITED, about to tell Kyojuro that he’s—

You see your (future) son’s conflicted face contorted to anger, then calm. “Ah. I’ll take my leave right now. I’m thirsty.”

He leaves just like that.

You’re confused

has future you ever taught him manners

Is… Was the argument that bad????

Poor Kyojuro is so confused, looking at the boy leaving.

“Who was that young fellow?”

You explain that that’s his son

His face shows a split second of surprise before it immediately switches to excitement

(he doesn’t even ask how that’s possible like ok)

“HE’S MY SON??? OH WHAT JOY! S/O. THAT IS OUR SON!”

Yes, yes you just told him that of course you know lol

But you’re so confused as to why your son would just leave like that. You honestly expect him to be just as excited to see his dad like he did with you

and so

the chaos and conflicts and confusion and everything related ensues

Practically everyone knows your future son is here

They’re dying to meet him

Uzui is proud of what he has become. Man’s flamboyant. can even take a hard pat on his back! (he nearly died)

Mitsuri is so excited!!! She keeps giving him sakura mochi and all other snacks and talks to him a lot!!! Sees him as her lil bro ngl (tho technically it should be nephew)

Shinobu too is very sweet towards him and tells him he’s welcome anytime to the Butterfly Estate to just have tea and chat (every time they interact your son’s face turns tomato red. does he have a school boy crush????)

Tomioka is just happy the boy talks to him often

its cute. you can tell he admires the water hashira a lot

Sanemi scoffs and thinks he still has a long way until he is strong

like who tf think does this kid think he is

but he supposes the kid has potential

Obanai acknowledges him and greets him even though he scares your son sometimes

Gyomei. Cats. lots of pats. lots of fluff. nuff said

Muichiro always forgets his name

Tanjiro is super shocked but is happy to get along with Rengoku’s future son!! Nezuko takes a liking to him immediately and warms up to him (Zenitsu seething rn)

surprisingly inosuke oddly silent around him at first…. before he inevitably challenges him to a fight

The son ofc know who they all are (he still does not like young Zenitsu)

Also, he nearly spilled Tanjiro and Kanao’s future relationship oops ig at the present they aint tgt yet 🤷‍♂️

They all think he’s great!

But… there is one thing for sure

And what confuses them the most

is that he absolutely hates the mention of his father

Whenever someone brings up the fact he looks just like Rengoku or they compare the father and son, boy gets real upset and angry

Like??? huh???

You’d thinking a kid would be proud to have someone like Rengoku as their father

Apparently not

Kyojuro catches on to this.

I mean, its hard not to tell that every time he approaches the boy, he just pretends the hashira never exist

Kyojuro kinda concerned and worried

And frankly, he’s kinda sad too.

He wants to spend his time with his future son before who knows when he’ll return back to his time!

Eventually, Rengoku catches him a place where the kid can’t escape easily

He asks the kid what is wrong and what is really going on

Dang… it really hurt seeing your own kid (even though technically not yet) glaring at you like that

The kid only grumbles excuses and that’s it

Kyojuro gently tries to push him to open up

Really wants to know what’s going on poor man please give him a break

“I can tell you don’t like to converse with me… why is that? I would love to get to know my own son!”

Rengoku Kyojuro would never expect that sentence would completely make his own future kid snap.

“Son??? Hah. Sure.”

???????????

The??? Audacity???

My man Kyojuro isn’t even phased (again, bless his patient heart) he’s just confused

What does that mean?

“Did… I do something…?”

“Something???? Something…?????” the boy clenched his jaw, “Don’t act like you care.”

… But he does tho.

At this point the flame hashira just wants to know what he did wrong to make him so mad

“Oh, you really wanna know what you did?” He says in such a bitter tone. Whatever Kyojuro did, he musta pissed him reeaaal off.

“Y…Yes…?”

“… Fine. Not like it’ll change anyway considering how easily you threw us away.”

p-

pardon?

“You hurt Mother. You left her when she needed you the most. You left us! Because you think your job is better than this little family!”

….huh?

“I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t und-“

“When she needed you the most, you just up and left her! Just like that! What do you think I’ll feel about that, huh?”

Kyojuro… did that? He can’t even fathom leaving you for a split second! What was future him thinking?

“You left Mother! When I was still… When she was still pregnant and needed you… You chose to go on a mission instead of being there for her!”

“Do you know how much my mother begged you not to go? How she endlessly express her worries and concerns, even though she never doubted you before??”

“Do you know how much it hurt her when you promised her nothing will happen, only for some crow to announce that you died in a fight with an Upper Moon, a fight you could’ve avoided! A FIGHT THAT YOU SO SELFISHLY WENT ON AND JUST DIED?!”

…

Hold on…

Hang on—

What?

—————————

I was supposed to finish this all in one post, but I reached the limit… Gonna post part 3 soon

[dear-ao3]

Heyy totally weird question and having never experienced a long term relationship before this is really coming just from a place of curiosity, I'm deeply sorry if I'm stepping over a line. Did your ex boyfriend change as a person as time went by, because I remember loving your posts about him, and everything seemed wonderful and adorable about your dynamic, thinking that even if these complete strangers to me break up one day it will be full of mutual respect and understanding. Can a person really change up like that? Like were there ever any signs that he is a douchebag capable of breaking things of over a text and anything else that he's done or was he never actually like that and a "change" happend over night?

I am not at all probing into your life, please don't think that, nor am I asking for some kind of explanation no, just curious about someone turn up to be a complete douchebag at the end

i mean yea there were signs, generally when youre dating someone in the beginning things seem fine and dandy and then it all falls apart later. most of the problems stemmed from the fact that he broke a lot of bad habits and then gained them back. we were also pretty young and in that weird limbo stage of life where youre figuring out what the fuck you want to do and when youre in that area of life (college) things can change very quickly and you can very quickly realize that you are not as perfect for someone as you once thought.

actually though we were decently mature towards the end of it and knew it was falling apart and were like okay when the time comes we will be respectful and this will be mutual and likely we will remain friends (cause we did get along pretty well, there were just a lot of logistics that were not working) and then he decided to dump me over text (which he didnt really realize he was doing? he thought it was a break he was proposing but he worded it so badly that i was like um no this is a breakup. goodbye. then he tried to be like oh no no no we are still good for eachother! so even though he definitely started it i finished it) and all respect was lost

tho despite all that crap i dont regret it, there was a lot of fun, learned a lot about myself and most importantly learned what it does feel like to be in love. its not my fault it didnt work out, there was a lot of stuff that i was aware of at the beginning that would make it challenging and i knew it wasnt going to last forever, but while it was good it was definitely good.

[maleyanderecafe]

May I recommend Deep obsession on itchio? It's 18+ tho, so heed the warnings.

Man... that sure is a r18+ game that I just played. That being said, there are some pretty interesting things after a lot of the smut parts were done. You can play the game here if you are interested. This is a game submitted to the Stained Red Yandere Jam which I will not only be participating in but also do recommendations from.

The story starts out with Hex on the news learning about how five reporters went missing after trying to go after a snuff streamer. Hex doesn't believe the news at first but becomes curious, searching into it. After some searching and getting a link, they log into one of the streams to see of course, a snuff stream. While horrified by the death of the lady on stream, Hex becomes entranced with their voice, something that they try to fight the urge to look to again. The next day, they go to the mall to get some snacks and hang out, only to have someone tap on their shoulder when resting. They find a chocolate in their pocket and presumably get their keys stolen (though they don't seem to realize this, believing they lost their keys) before going to sleep after the neighbors help them get in. After a restless night of what they presume to be sleep paralysis of being touched and watched, they get the morbid feeling of wanting to watch the snuff streamer again, to which they do. After jacking off and promptly falling asleep watching the stream, they wake up with a jolt, only to be kidnapped. Upon waking up, they find that they are indeed, captures by the person who they've been watching streaming. Hex actually gets quite into this, not only deepthroating but straight up asking the streamer to bite their thighs. They have various sexy times, with Hex seemingly into it.

If Hex is more or less chilled out, they will freak out when the streamer ends it stating that they will kill Hex. This turns out to be a lie, as the streamer actually keeps them alive as they like Hex. They reveal that their name is Victor. The last scene has Victor seemingly fighting his conscious as a mysterious person talks about how this will not last, how they are the same as the others, before he wakes up and coddles Hex to sleep.

If Hex screams, they will again freak out when the streamer states that he will kill them, though they reassure them that he will not. He also pretty much gets shot at, with the mysterious person, whose name is Simon, essentially recruiting Hex afterwards for something.

So far, it is a pretty interesting premise seeing Hex actually be into more of the snuff streaming things, considering how into Victor's voice they seem to be. I do like the kind of concepts where the MC is pretty messed up at least to this degree. We don't really get to know that much about Simon or Victor though. We know that Victor has been stalking Hex for a bit, considering I don't think it was sleep paralysis that was groping and watching them. And they seemingly know where Hex lives and even seems to know their name and probably gave them the chocolate while they were at the mall. Still, again, other than knowing that Victor is a snuff streamer, has no problems with killing people and likes Hex, we really know very little to nothing about him. Same with the Simon person who apparently hires us. I think it would be a cool twist that in the end Hex ends up being a snuff streamer as well, following in the twisted footsteps of Victor. The art style mostly consists of blacks and whites which is always a fun thing to see in terms of stylization. I'm not really into that kind of dark smut as much as other people (I'm more on the side of wanting to torture someone, but I know most people don't tend ot share that sentiment in the yandere community, so that's alright), but I think it can be appealing to those who are interested in that.

Overall, a short but dark story. Considering this is likely a demo, I am really hoping that they will flesh out more of the story for Victor and Simon since the start of it does seem to leave a lot of interesting pathways that might be nice to follow.

[bloo-the-dragon]

I've been seeing some people express concern for Bloodmoon on this post SO i'm going to throw in some extra context and Bloodmoon lore to clear some things up

Honestly i probably should have done this a long time ago BUT ANYWAYS-

The sudden change for them was very.. shocking to put it kindly. A very drastic change but after the initial shock Bloodmoon is very euphoric - Just happy and whimsical and freed because they're in a new form that just feels right even if they havn't fully come to terms as to why yet.

But existential crisis still boils under the surface and it's not til sometime later that it breaks out.

This is Bloodmoon shortly after the transformation -

- cheery, silly, happy. Sun and Moon arnt worried for too long because they seem happy (and in a way they're kind of flattered that their fae friend decided to take a form similar to their own - they've met many kids who dressed up like/wanted to be like the glamrocks afterall so this isnt too odd for them)

This is when the existential crisis/questioning moment really hits home

(happens while they are out too which only quickened it what with anxiety being around people and all)

Now the reason they changed in the first was because they realised they had fallen in love (platonically) with Sun and Moon. Their shapeshifting specifically is very emotional based and will trigger usually when high emotion is felt. This is the biggest physical change they have ever had however, and the most impactful.

And why did they turn red like the Bloodmoon you might wonder? Well 1. Lunar Eclipse, or Eclipse vibes specifically and 2. Have you ever heard of the red string? ~

But yeah right after the change they would be too caught up in the euphoria of feeling whole and comfortable in a new body and identity to really acknowledge the panic beneath the surface. And the crisis kicks in over time because they had been very much the non-partnering type before and never saw theirself ever truly falling for anyone (again even in a platonic sense)

They would talk to Sun and Moon after this, and while feelings would not be outright admitted there would absolutely be understanding there and acceptance which is all they really need. They become qpp's over time after that.

Also i mentioned in the tags of my last post that this is basically irreversable and thats because the only way it could be reversed is if they stopped loving Sun and Moon (which ofc they could never)

They loved them enough to make them part of theirself - and in a way Sun and Moon do the same when they get tails installed to match (I'm a sentimental sap and tails are fun)

They're robots too so one thing that they have in common with a fae is they can also alter their forms to an extent ;D tho in this case they just wanted to have tails so they could be more like Bloodmoon.

Both parties adopting pieces of each other into their respective selves/identities out of love shared for each other.

The sillies

[whole-circus]

hi! since your requests are open, could I ask for some room hdc?? with characters of your choice 🧎‍♀️

please take care of yourself and take your time!!

Creepypastas room headcanons!

➥ Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned, Clockwork and Hobo Heart

Oh hi and thank you!! Here you go sweetie! If you wanted someone more then feel free to uptade!! :33

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Jeff the Killer

What a stinky men. Im sorry but his room is messy for sure and you can't convince me otherwise! Dirty clothes, empty cans, leftovers, stains..man, hire him a maid or something. Some dead plants and messy grafitties, stolen traffic signs and construction boards! Propably never in his life made bed, and his sheets aren't changed often.

Definitely has many band posters on his walls too! Maybe some vinyls too?? Mostly the black, red and grey colours can be seen. Hates the big light, so usually sits in dark or with small lamp. His drapes 24/7 covered. He is emo and plays loud music.

Smells like cigarettes and like room that hadn't been aired for long time.

☆ Homicidal Liu

Pretty, clean and organized room! The only 'messy' thing could be mugs he forgot to clean (same tho). Im sure he has gramophone and listen some of this old, silly, romantic songs! Also - a lot of plants, maybe even lego flowers? Couple of this aesthetic posters, some gobelins, small paintings. Photos with his friends, S/O! His bed is almost always well made. He have many books, and an easel (what an art hoe of him).

Mostly green, brown and beige colours. He loves natural light and candles, and if the weather is nice then his windows are open.

His room smells like cleaning detergents, soil and candles (usually the flower ones).

☆ Eyeless Jack

Soo..his room is not as clean, but its caused by his wild side. On his walls and furnitures are many straches from his hands (or even teeth!). Otherwise? You don't have to worry about surviving visiting his room, you have high chance to not caught anything! I would say his room is pretty dark, only becasue his walls are in gloomy colours - maybe not black, but gray, green or navy blue (all in dark shades).

Let's pretend that he actually was into medicine before all his tragic events..pls? Propably has some decorations, like skeleton, anatomy-related posters! Also likes to keep his blinds shut, he is pretty hypersensitive in terms to hearing, sight, smell. And maybe..he would have this small, funny fridge in his room, you know - to keep his..food..fresh!

About the smell..maybe a bit of blood? And something rotten? But its not that strong tho!

☆ Ben Drowned

Musty, dusty and rusty room, but we still love him! He would clean once in a while, and he do that very solid..but that doesn't last long - his room gets messy very easly. When he isnt gaming then he is sleeping..pretty productive, huh? Bed is never made, lots of junk food wrappers, empty (or not) cans..

LED lights 25/8! His room is pretty dark, propably never seen the sun. On his walls are posters from movies, anime and games. Has pretty professional gaming set when it comes to computer (I would describe it but i only know that computer need screen and keybord lol). High chance of having some psp gaming corner! Like bean bag pouffe, TV and stuff. Also! Collects figures like funko pops, anime figures, nendoroids. Ben have pretty nice Lego collection too!

His room smells like sweat and energy drinks.

☆ Clockwork

A bit messy, but in this aesthetic way - in other way, chaos under control! You know, some clothes at the floor or on chair..some dirty mugs..and her trash can is a bit too full..but as I said - everything looks pretty planed..! She has many blankets and plushies (she would never admit to that tho) on her bed.

In her room dominates mostly shades of dark green and white! Has many fun stuff in her room - rocks, animal skulls..sorry fellow animal lovers, promise they were found! But also a guitar! Full jewelry holder - and they are all well made! Thats why they are a bit too messy.. And she keeps many fake plants, she sucks at taking care of them. Clockwork has many string lights in various shapes!

Dunno, but I cant really assign smell of her room! Maybe something like dust and coffee?

☆ Hobo Heart

Ahh I miss this pretty boy to be honest! His room is clean, end of the sentence, thats it. I also think that he would have some pet in terrarium or aquarium - lizard, frog or just some fishes. Even if they are small, he treat them with proper respect and like the family members!

Has white walls with paintings and photos of his friends/SO, but most of the decorations are in shade of red. Also vinyls as decorations and posters of his favorite singers/bands (m sorry but he totally looks like somoene listening to Lana Del Ray vibes T^T) - all in this 'aesthetic way'! Simple light bed sheets, and when his bed is made (which is pretty often) he put pillows that have this silly shapes. Like to keep his room natural lightened and loves candles!

His room smells pretty like vanilia, but its not a strong scent.

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Best BLs on iQIYI

Love For Love's Sake

Korea 2024

This isekai KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. While I found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, this is certainly much better than early KBL in terms of consistency of tone, script, and immersion. Highly rewatchable and charming, which counts for a lot.

Blueming

Korea 2022

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL, but if you want your mind ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, this is a great BL.

Laws of Attraction

Thai 2023

This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character in all BL. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. There are several "singing incidents" and this pair is a little weak in the chemistry arena, but it's tons of fun. All the triggers tho.

Love Tractor

Korea 2023

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, just all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. But (and you knew there was a “but” coming) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different and too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

Unintentional Love Story

Korea 2023

A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya).

Bon Appetit

Korea 2023

Romance between an office worker the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd.

My Only 12%

Thai 2022

Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) and strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still I recommend it for the killer softly domestic couple chemistry.

A Breeze of Love

Korea 2023

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it.

Between Us

Thai 2023

Featuring the hugely popular side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again, WinTeam, adaptation of the y-novel Hemp Rope. It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series. That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities. It’s fine.

Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul

Thai 2022

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than it’s ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that aired on iQIYI (or was taken off the platform) after that date. Some stuff on iQIYI is also on other platforms and if I loved it, I listed it there not here.

This is part of a series continued here:

[thegaybluejay]

Just for fun, here are my rapid fire rambling thoughts on the ATLA ships and platonic dynamics hehe (please don’t go full ship wars tho - these are just my opinions as a chill multishipper!)

My Favorite Ships:

• Zukka - My current brainrot and main ship!! I know they aren’t canon but I really love them and their potential okay😭I just feel like their personalities would work so well! Sokka would call Zuko on his shit and Zuko would be good at grounding Sokka when he needs it. Plus I have seen some absolutely breathtaking AUs with this ship! And fire-and-ice vibes except gay! Them <3

• Kataang - Cutiessss!! I love them! They may not be the ship I think about most often, but when I do think about them, they’re adorable! Aang is such a “my wife” guy and Katara absolutely adores him back! Also the last airbender x last southern waterbender dynamic goes HARD! I like that these two are canon!

• Yuetara - Listen I know they barely interacted but THEY’VE ACTUALLY GROWN ON ME SO MUCH LATELY AND I VERY HIGH KEY SHIP THEM! Something about like, Katara thinking about Yue when she bends is so😭Their story would be heartbreaking in the best way!! Sapphic noncanon blorbos <3

• Mailee - These two are SO cute and have so much potential rahhh!! Again, love some noncanon sapphics <3

• Batkoda - Super SUPER cute and silly and fun! The dads fr <3 Bato is either Katara and Sokka’s adopted uncle or their stepdad and I love it for them hehe! This usually pairs well with a “Hakoda adopts Zuko” AU lmao!

Other Canon/Relatively Popular Ships:

• Zutara - A good ship! I see the potential and tbh it’s very very fun to think about sometimes!!! However, some of y’all toxic Zutara stans need to leave my boy Aang alone lmao. Those who are chill tho, I rock with y’all!! Overall, I’m not opposed if it’s done well and I do sometimes seek out Zutara content! I personally do prefer writing them as found siblings tho, especially with the Azula and Katara parallels!!

• Sukka - Canon cuties!! I really like them! Suki my BELOVED <3 She’s so underrated!

• Yukka - Also canon cuties! They make me sad tho ahhhhh😭😭😭

• Maiko - Also ALSO canon cuties!! They have an interesting dynamic that I can really appreciate! And gotta love Mai <3

• Jinko - Jin my beloved! These two had a super cute dynamic during the one episode they had together lmaoooo, tho I don’t think about this ship too too often.

• Tokka - I don’t mind it if it’s them getting together as adults! But tbh I personally don’t prefer shipping them as teens and I think Toph’s crush was just a typical young girl crush on someone slightly older lol. Definitely not horrible and most Tokka shippers are relatively chill! I like to think Sokka sees Toph as a little sister tho.

Now For Some Of The Crackship-y/Less Popular Ships (based on ships I’ve actually seen):

• Zukki (Zuko/Sokka/Suki) - Power throuple fr and I love some polyamory!! While I mostly lean plain Zukka, this is extremely fun to think about and would be a great dynamic!

• Mai/Ty Lee/Suki - Saw this in a Zukka fic once and it was adorableeeeee! I may not have plans to actively write this or anything, but it’s cute! Another power throuple!

• Jetko - I don’t think they would be compatible long term, but by god they are very very fun to think about in a “Jet flirts with Zuko and Zuko is completely oblivious and they share one kiss before everything goes to shit” way lmao!

• Taang - I can respect it!! I will always love them as chaos siblings personally, but it’s a totally valid and chill ship!

• Katoph - Not a bad ship at all! I’ve only come across like one post tho lmao. Also I do think I heavily prefer them as found sisters, but that’s just me personally! Again, totally a valid and chill ship!

• Azutara - I’m very neutral on this lmao. I don’t despise it at all and it could be pretty interesting?? But tbh really not something I plan to seek out.

• Azulaang - I mean?? I’m also pretty neutral on this one. Aang would be kind to her if she was trying to get help but…idk lmao.

• Tyzula - I see the potential, but I personally think Mai and Ty Lee had a healthier and more interesting and more realistic dynamic. Just my preference tho!

(I think I just want Azula to be in therapy before I reallyyyyy ship her lmao, but NOT THE KIND OF “THERAPY” SHE WAS GIVEN IN THE COMICS)

• Zukaang - I don’t love this as a ship honestly. The canon age gap as teens is sketchy for my personal taste, tho I’ve seen people ship them in “Aang was 16 when he got frozen” AUs and that’s…better and I can get behind it a little! It would be interesting! But I think Roku being Zuko’s great-grandpa just still throws me off of this ship. I don’t have any beef with the shippers tho! I’m very “live and let live” and I have seen so much worse lol.

Can’t Forget My Fav Platonic Dynamics!

• Sokka and Aang - Two found brothers who share one idiot braincell when they interact LMAO! Love them always <3

• Sokka and Katara - The siblings ever!!

• Zuko and Aang - Enemies to found brothers!! Canon besties! I love their friendship and their parallels SO MUCH!!

• Toph and Katara - Absolutely ADORABLE as found sisters!!!! Love them!

• Zuko and Katara - I really like their development in a platonic sense and I think they’re very very fun and lovely found siblings by the end!!!! Zuko is 100% the brother that just “yeah my sister can and will whoop your ass” LMAO!

• Zuko and Toph - Also very found siblings in my head!! Only have a handful of solo interactions in canon but I DON’T CARE! I WILL FOUND FAMILY THEM ANYWAY! I’m a “Toph seeks out Zuko for sibling hugs/cuddles when she’s cold because he’s basically a space heater” truther.

• Uncle Iroh and the Gaang - Zuko needs to learn to share because that is ALL OF THEIR Uncle!!!

• Hakoda and Zuko - I thrive in this section of the fandom!! They have exactly one (1) frame together in canon, but I ADORE Dadkoda adopting Zuko! Something about it is just so wholesome and cute!!! My very very fav ATLA fics are this trope!!#LetHakodaBitchSlapOzaiAndAdoptZuko2024

• Uncle Iroh and Zuko - God they make me so ALSNDKSNXNCNSNSNXNX, y’know?

• The Gaang as a whole - Obvious I know, but I really do love them😭They all bonded sm and I adore their little family!! I eat up fanart of the Gaang cuddling like CANDY omg. And yes Suki is included in the Gaang because WHY WOULDN’T SHE BE!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk. If you made it to the end, you get a big platonic kiss on the forehead MWAH!

[acheronist]

actually can you say more things about the octopus in detroit I have never understood it ._.

come here nonnie... let me spin u a yarn.... IMAGINE: the year is 1952 and these are our boys. noteable skaters include terry sawchuk (perhaps the nhl's most bonkers ass off the shits goalie of all time) as well as one of the most famous scoring player combinations, The Production Line (gordie howe / sid abel / ted lindsay)

nhl playoffs were two best-of-seven games series to win the cup, so the red wings needed to win eight games to win the cup (spoiler: they do win) but to support the team, and to represent the eight games necessary to win, two fans (who were brothers & also business owners in eastern market-- detroit's largest outdoors farmer's and grocer's market--) brought a dead octopus into the arena and tossed it onto the ice of olympia arena (which has since been demolished. rip.) for good luck with the series.

and, somehow, either by magic or coincidence or sheer ferocious dedication to their sport, the red wings end up completely shutting out the montreal canadiens during the second 4 game series and winning the cup. (2 games were shutouts, and 2 games only allowed one goal, which in and of itself was record breaking stuff for the league at the time). and then they also won the stanley cup again in the next year as well.

SO SINCE then, the tradition has evolved and grown and the octopus has become an unofficial mascot for the team, while also acting as a good luck token, and also as a martyred sacrifice to invoke the hockey gods' will to change the fate of the red wings when things look dismal, or we need a wholehearted change.

in the late 1990s when the team was a fucking dynasty of unbeatable freaks, the head zamboni driver was in charge of going out onto the ice and collecting the octopi corpses, and in a hyping-up-the-crowd move, he invented the Octopus Twirl wherein he would pick it up and twirl it over his head in a circle, which is objectively very gross and kinda eehhh :-/ by todays standards, but was cool and very fun at the time. so the nhl had to shut it down because there would be little bits of octopi corpse debris scattered and schlopped around the ice and it was technically a danger for the skaters. anyways people loved this bit though and so the unofficial octopus mascot was thusly named Al, after the zamboni driver, and we had this fucking thang ⬇️ that descended down from the ceilings during playoffs just so nobody ever forgot THIS IS FUCKING HOCKEYTOWN BABEEEEYYYYYY

also notably, when the joe louis arena (the team's long term arena after the olympia had been demolished) was next on the chopping block after decades of being the latest winning roster's home away from home, 35 octopi were tossed onto the ice during the last game as a farewell but also a promise that better things would come for the team. since the JLA was demolished tho, the teams luck tanked a lot and we have not been even remotely good for quite a few years due to UM, A LOT OF THINGS, WHICH IS ANOTHER ESSAY I CAN WRITE FOR YOU, but finally the team is getting genuinely competitive and fun to watch again. but regardless of this flop era behavior, there have still definitely been octopi getting tossed onto the ice because well... we love the team despite it all and always want the best for them !

🥅🏒🐙

hope this helps mwah mwah mwah

[pestorik]

you said something about some ships in the AT au, so now you're being interrogated. What ships do you like/what ships are canon for the AT au besides epeljack?

people are allowed to ignore whatever ships they want or see them as platonic but the ones i see as canon in the au:

treycater: they are exes but i imagine them eventually getting back together after a lot of character and plot development on both their parts, they have a lot of growing to do individually. there would be lots of antics in which they are forced to spend time together and Talk It Out.

jamikali: this one has a lot of flexibility in terms of whether you want to see them platonically or romantically, i actually enjoy the potential for both. i think kalim would set jamil free like at the beginning of the very last season and throughout that season we woud see what their lives are like without the other and they would both realize they want to be together (jamil ideally stops wanting to subjugate the human race). it would be heavily implied that they are dating in the last episode.

epeljack: at the series finale, when jacks curse is broken (or maybe he comes to peace with being a wolf), they travel the world together. definitely wouldnt happen until after the end of the show tho

rookvil: they are kind of a joke ship bc i think vil mostly sees rook as an annoying pawn (im deeply attached to vil remaining cartoonishly evil for the whole show sry) but maybe he eventually agrees to ONE date and they have a fun night ruining peoples lives. after epel leaves vil probably allows rook to stay over more often bc hes no longer used to living alone. so they are kind of in a relationship in which vil is more tolerant of (perhaps even enjoys, sometimes returns) rooks deranged love. rook is a huge masochist and 100% believes he has found his sadist soulmate in vil (he's right)

silbek: you can take or leave this one but regardless they are definitely life partners, platonic or otherwise. the dragon kingdom is very ancient and isolated, they have little contact with other cultures bc of their location in the mountains (it's hard to get to if youre not a dragon). silver and sebek would gradually start leaving the kingdom more often throughout the show and show more interest in the outside world. in the final episodes malleus and lilia give them their blessing to leave the kingdom and travel the world (ofc they are always welcome back). having learned of his own origins, silver wants to search for surviving humans, sebek agrees to stay by his side (protect the squishy human).

leovil: im honestly not even a huge shipper of this and dont really consider it canon to this au but i just LOVE a dynamic in which they act like a divorced couple that hate each other. maybe they have romantic history, maybe they dont, but they hate each other ❤️

jeiazu: they are sweethearts in crime, forever evil. notes from original post: their version of a happy ending is just them being evil together and constantly making up and breaking up for eternity. I'm very into that kind of dynamic lol where they are constantly bickering but are both so fucked up that no one else could ever understand them so they always come back to each other.

adeuce: nobody can tell if they are dating or not bc they are both so stupid, and i think it will remain that way for their entire lives.

not canon but i like to think about it as a little treat: mallekei (maybe they go on a feeew dates, trey is NOT upset about it), azurid, mallerid, idiazu, deurid, leoruggie, idikei, lilidia