#this is why I like to just discuss things with JUST people I know. we have differing opinions in our own circle!

[zvdvdlvr]

spencer reid has a soulmate :)

Head up, nose clean. You repeated the phrase as you stepped out of the elevator, excited for your new internship at the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico.

You were 23, intellectually gifted, and quiet as all get-out. Because of how used to being alone you were, you assumed that the scientific community’s ‘groundbreaking proof’ of soulmates was completely absurd.

Almost everyone found their soulmate at 20-21, going and and clubbing or just going shopping. You knew that part of the reason you didn’t know your soulmate (or even knew if you had one) was because you didn’t look at people. You watched their movements and body language, you just didn’t look strangers in the eye.

That’s how you knew that there were a group of people watching you as you walked up the stairs to your employer’s office.

“Agent Hotchner?” You asked, knocking gently on the door.

The tall, dark-haired man stood up. “Sit, please.” You sat in the chair he gestured too after shaking his hand. “Yet again, I have to remind you that the things we see daily are not for weak stomached people. Our presence has been requested in Wisconsin, and we’re set to have a meeting in,” Hotch looked at his watch. “Twenty seconds. I understand that this is your first day, but from what I’ve seen from you, you are more than capable of fieldwork. Are you ready?”

You nodded. “Yes sir.”

“Good. You have your concealed carry license?”

You stood up and nodded. “When I was 21.”

“Good. Let’s get you introduced to the rest of the team.”

You remembered Rossi from when he personally requested to meet you one-on-one. He had wanted to have a… pleasant conversation with you. You understood why he wanted to check your morals.

Emily Prentiss smiled brightly at you even though she was clearly taken aback at your presence. Derek Morgan shook your hand and gave you a smile. Penelope Garcia was a ball of energy who pulled you into a tight hug, fussing over you like an older sister. She had a gorgeous smile. Jennifer Jareau was as polite as ever, shaking your hand and greeting you politely but something in her gaze you figured she might be happy to have a fresh face with new ideas.

“Where’s Reid?” Derek asked, looking around the table.

Jennifer shrugged. “Late. We’ll fill him in on the plane. Anyway…” the gorgeous immediately started to inform of you the kidnapping and killings of five men. They were all shot and killed in their homes with no signs of forced entry.

About two minutes in the discussion, the door swung open. You assumed the man was ‘Reid’. He shrugged of his bag and didn’t look up at until Jennifer kept going.

“Any sign of robbery? Anything missing?” Derek asked right after J.J. finished. You opened your own file, seeing the pictures closer. You couldn’t see the color of blood, but you could tell that the crime scene was clean. The only blood stemmed from the bullet to the head.

“No. The families of the victims said that nothing looked out of place or missing.”

Emily furrowed her eyebrows. “There was no other physical harm besides the cause of death? That’s bizarre.”

J.J. nodded.

“Could be a woman. Women are known for their aversion to ‘trophies’ or items they take from their victims. Maybe a prostitute… not many men would open their doors to women unless, for, you know,” you explained.

Silence fell over the room and you looked down. Clearly you had said something. “Sorry,” you mumbled.

“No, no, you’re right,” the late areival says, thumbing through his file. “There are no signs of rage or remorse and women are known for their emotional detachment or rage killings. All victims have a history of violence and sexual assult. This ccould very well be a woman trying to exact revenge. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner,” Reid rambles, nodding as he pieces the puzzles together. “Sorry, what did you say your name wa…” he trails off, looking you in the eye.

Your mouth falls open as the world seems to erupt in the different black and grey hues of fire. Except this time you actually see the color. Your eyes are locked on Reid’s, disbelief painted all over your face.

“Y/n,” you whisper, eyes flickering to his rich brown hair, light pink lips, saucer-wide eyes, and heaving chest.

“Hello, soulmate. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being honest about what I would change about my boyfriend?

🥊🥊

I’m a cis guy (22m) and I have a boyfriend that’s transgender (20m). We’ve been together for 2 years.

My boyfriend is a very cute guy and he gets hit on a lot in queer spaces tbh. even by lesbians, and they fully see him as a guy. He’s just very sweet and approachable I guess. A lot of people tell him he’s super attractive and I agree, but there are just certain things about his body that don’t appeal to me.

We were at a friend’s birthday party. People got drunk, I was tipsy. We played this game that was like cards with questions about relationships/love/intimacy on them and the whole group would discuss.

One of the questions was something along the lines of "If you could change anything about your partner, what would it be?" Or whatever.

Now, I went first and said I’d probably make him less hairy and get rid of the dark spots in his crotch area and his acne scars. He has some discoloration around his private areas from a rash he got when he was like 13 and some faint scarring from pimples I guess. It’s not an issue, but definitely not my preference. Plus he can’t really shave clean down there because he has thick hair and it always makes him get those razor burn bumps or whatever. Fine by me, he’s hot as hell either way.

Plus, he has a lot of discoloration around his shoulders, back, chest and face from severe acne outbreaks from his puberty and then later again when he started taking testosterone. It’s calmed down a lot, but the scarring is still very prominent. It’s not an issue, just not very pretty to look at.

Please don’t get me wrong. He’s an incredibly attractive person, I just wish his skin was a little prettier. It’s a bit of a turnoff, that’s all. It never stopped me from being absolutely enamored with him.

But when I explained this, a little less explicitly than this of course, the group went dead silent. Everyone was staring at me, some of the girls even clasped their hands over their mouths etc.

When I looked at my boyfriend he was completely pale and was just blankly staring at me before getting up and saying he needs to pee. I just said okay and then gave the card to the person next to me. She very quietly said she’d take away her girlfriend’s anxiety because it hurts her to see the person she loves like that. That’s when it sort of dawned on me that I messed up and that I was way out of line for saying these things in front of our friends.

He apparently left soon after that, which I only found out through a friend. I was a little confused but figured he was just a little embarrassed. We don’t live together, so it isn’t unusual for one of us to leave before the other. But then I found out that his best friend left with him because he was sobbing and couldn’t stop.

I tried calling him and texting him for multiple hours and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries by just popping up at his home, so I gave up and eventually went home. That was two days ago and I still haven’t heard from him. He’s usually a very clingy and noisy person and always sends me small updates throughout the day, but I haven’t heard anything from him the entire time.

I’m so scared. I love this guy so much, he’s the sweetest and the single most interesting person I’ve ever met in my life. I know he has a lot of severe insecurity issues around his body, especially regarding his scarring. But it’s all gotten a lot better in recent months and he even began to love how hairy he is because it makes him feel euphoric.

Now I can’t help but feel like I took that away from him because of some stupid game. But at the same time, I don’t think it was fair for him to just up and leave without talking to me. We could’ve talked it out and I just wish he would communicate with me.

I already know I was a bit out of line for this, but I just tend to be uncomfortably honest. He knows this and loves me for it, so I’m confused why he’s THIS upset about this one. He’s never gone this long without talking to me.

Am I the asshole? I was just playing the game. I don’t think it’s fair to call me cruel for this just because other people are scared to be honest and say shit like they’d take away their partner’s mental illness. It’s so fake and that shit just pisses me off. Everyone has something they would change about their partner’s appearance.

[yaksha-lover]

I was reading through General Lilia’s card lines (woo he came home!!) and this one line really struck me because I think it contrasts well with a future dialogue he has with Malleus.

In his general days, Lilia completely dismisses the worth of NRC, because he believes with his skills and knowledge he’s already learned everything he needs to. He has a sort of arrogant approach, believing young mages or people in general couldn’t possibly have anything to teach someone like him.

In contrast, current day Lilia acts with humility and has an opposite view, which he discusses with Malleus. He loves travelling and meeting new people, and is always open to new experiences and learning new things. Lilia understands that there are certain valuable things that Malleus can never learn through books or tutors, that can only be found through connecting with people and learning to understand experiences that are different from your own.

We can see how Lilia has matured and become more open minded, because he’s able to challenge Malleus’ worldview that, despite being in a similar situation to Lilia and already having nothing to learn academically at NRC, there’s so much Malleus can learn just from having experiences with other people. Social skills, tolerance, kindness, friendship, humility, and maturity are all areas he can improve on from interacting with those different to him.

(To clarify, Malleus isn’t so much dismissing the value of these things, he’s just acting aloof because he was left out once again. So Lilia has to remind him why it’s worth it for him to have come, because he knows Malleus is searching for ‘something more’ in his life than just the knowledge/power/skills he already has).

TLDR; General Lilia parallels with current Malleus, and modern Lilia tries to help Malleus learn from his faults because he had the same attitude 😭💔

[fooled-around-and-fell]

Hey! I hope you're good! I saw that requests are open, and so I wanted to send one in. It's totally fine if you'd rather not write it, but I'll just shoot my shot xD. So I was wondering if you could write something about Gojo being the nicest guy when he falls in love with someone? I just had my heart broken by someone and it was stupid and everything so I'm just really in the need of some fluffy Satoru where he knows how to value his partner. Because he's at the age where he knows it's not time to mess around, and also because he's already lost so many people he doesn't take his partner for granted? (Could also be kind of something where he's just a little older than reader maybe, so he knows when to be more serious. Lmao ik it isn't actually Gojo if he's being serious but you get what I mean)💙

hey! I hope you're doing okay ❤️ thank you for this request and I wish you all the best, you're gonna be okay, you got this ✨

summary: gojo satoru shows you what real love is pairing: gojo satoru x female reader genre: fluff content warnings: ooc gojo satoru, fluff Masterlist

-----

Falling in love is easy.

The hard part is where you choose to stay.

You have to work on it endlessly, each and every day. For some people it's easier to walk away, while those who gets left behind don't get a say and is left to deal with what once was theirs.

It took you a minute to move on from your ex. Looking back, it seems so stupid, so careless, so meaningless, sometimes you wonder why you dated your ex in the first place.

For character development, you convince yourself. You learned some lessons from it, so hopefully in your next relationship, you'll know better.

Which is why when you first met Satoru, you felt a little scared.

A little scared because it's happening all over again. After a few dates, you realize you do like him, and you do want to have something serious with him.

It's the way he'll open doors for you, makes sure you're drinking enough water, prepares vitamins on the kitchen counter -- they all sound like tiny actions that don't matter, but it touches your heart.

It's not only that, though.

It's also how he'd return your kindness tenfold, how he makes sure to text you he's a bit busy so you won't be left waiting around all day, how he'll always book a reservation even though it's just a regular date night and not a celebration.

Sometimes you wonder what did you do to deserve someone like him, and without even asking out loud, he'll reassure you that he's with you because he wants to.

There is no other shoe.

"You feel like going out today?"

You hum, considering it. "Not really. Says it's gonna rain. You wanna stay in and cook? I can make pasta."

"You cooked yesterday, it's my turn."

"Yeah, but you got home late yesterday from work. You must be pretty tired."

Satoru looks at you like you're silly. "You got home late too! What are you talking about?"

"Well yeah, but your job is more difficult than mine-"

"No, no, no." He stops you, "We're not doing this. The agreement is that we switch every day-"

"-or every other day-"

"-if the other person is exhausted." Satoru finishes. "I'm not exhausted, so I'm cooking."

Noticing you're about to argue again, he pinches your nose. "End of discussion. Now go relax, I'm making something delicious."

Rubbing your red nose, you smile and silently follow him to the kitchen. Satoru knows that no matter what he does, you'll always try to show him how much you appreciate him -- it's been your thing since you first started dating, and Satoru has given up trying to tell you that sometimes you don't need to always return the favor. Sometimes he just wants to do something nice.

You, of course, will never listen, so he decides that he'll just have to one up you every single time.

"I'm gonna make a side salad." You say, taking out the romaine lettuce.

"Okay, then I'll make dessert."

You can only smile appreciatively and shake your head. That's Satoru for you.

Your mind suddenly travels to the past, remembering how you'd spend hours alone in the kitchen to prepare a meal for your ex boyfriend, and how he'd come home late, and turns out he had eaten. He didn't even tell you.

And you chuckle to yourself, thinking how foolish you were to have stayed that long. Look at you now, spending time with your lover who showers you with love, shows you how much you mean to him, and never needing to ask "are we okay" if you happen to have an argument.

"Why're you laughing to yourself, hmm?" Satoru nudges your hip with his.

You smile at him, "Just... Just want you to know that I'm really grateful for you, Satoru. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Satoru visibly blushes, his lips shaking, "Hey, you're being too sweet now. That's my job."

He circles his arms around your waist as you continue sprinkle some cocoa powder on the tiramisu you made together (of course you insisted on helping make the dessert).

"You're the light of my life," He says, resting his head on your shoulder. "Hope you know that I- Achoo!"

You gasp and can't help but laugh as Satoru chokes on the cocoa powder. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"F-fine-" He coughs and laughs at the same time.

You hand him a glass of water and chuckle as he downs it. "Who knew Gojo Satoru's nemesis is now cocoa powder."

"Hey, you try inhaling that, it can be dangerous." He clears his throat a few times.

Giggling, you hug him tightly and press a kiss gently on his chin. "I love you, Satoru."

"I love you too, sweets."

[lastoneout]

Making this it's own post bcs I don't want to detract from the racism discussion on the last post I reblogged(and also this is rambly as hell, sorry) but like I always find the critique that "x genre of music is only about drinking, sex, and violence" wild bcs....almost ALL music in every genre is about that?? Like with rap/hip-hop it ofc this argument ties directly back to racism but even with other genres that get shit on like country people are like "they just sing about getting beers with the boys and driving their trucks" like???? Yeah, I could grab 50 songs from other genres that are about that and beloved regardless??? Getting beers with the boys is a fucking cherished meme on this webbed site!! Or that one Ed Sheeran song people roast all the time like "how dare he write a song about finding his girl's body attractive" bro, are you new here. 99.9% of popular music is "my partner is really hot and I want to have sex with them" and that's like the ONE song of his I know of that's just about fucking like he writes about other stuff, people just ignore those bcs it doesn't fit the narrative of him being a shallow misogynist everyone here loves to drag around and beat like a dead horse.

Why is this a bad thing when people you don't like do it, but fine when the people you do like do it, huh? Hozier is one of the most popular artists out there rn, this site worships the ground he walks on, and yeah his music has a lot of layers of poetic meaning but a lot of it is just about sex and falling in love and violence and drinking. The two are not mutually exclusive!!

Which is kinda the root of it, them not being mutually exclusive, bcs imo even if a genre was entirely saturated with songs exclusively about drinking and sex(which no genre is, you just haven't gone looking for the other stuff), I just don't think that's a problem or means the music is bad or less artistically meaningful?? I genuinely don't think there's a damn thing wrong with writing a song or twelve about finding someone attractive or talking about the violence a lot of people live with every day of their lives or even just churning out a fun party anthem for people to play while they get white girl wasted at a tailgate. Who cares if the art is shallow, why does it have to be "deep" to be worthy of respect, and why does deep and worthy of respect mean "no sex, violence, or drinking", three things that have been part of the human experience since we fucking became humans!

Honestly if you really are looking down on rap and country for being about sex and drinking and violence I want you to ask yourself why you think some artists should be denied the right to write about shit everyone else is writing about all the damn time to massive critical acclaim. Why should black people and rural poor people and women(bcs this is also a critique I heard a LOT aimed at female pop stars) be denied the right to explore the full spectrum of human experience and emotion in their art. Why do they HAVE to tell stories about something else to be taken seriously when their fellow artists can churn out entire albums full of songs about sex and violence and partying and not have anyone bat a fucking eye.

And, on top of that, please ask yourself why you think that something can't be deep while being about sex, drugs, partying, and violence. Bcs that is some fucking discount moral panic bullshit that needs to get knocked out of your head before it festers and you start insisting people who like horror are weird because violence can't be art.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi,

I am very much not american so I must admit that my first impulse when seeing all the rap/racism discourse was something like "do I really need to consume more american culture, it's fucking everywhere already". Idk but to me it feels like american/english-speaking culture absolutely dominates a lot of the world, sometimes at the cost of out own cultures and languages, if something is in English it is "good", if it is in own own languages it is "bad". Musicians often start singing in English and more american-like after a while to get bigger. We value American culture and music, they mock our accents (and languages sometimes) and best case scenario see us as funny and silly.

Then I started thinking. Do you think that americans kind of see rap kind of like foreign music still? Like low-brow unexotic foreign music.

I don't know this is a really fresh thought and I'm not sure if I am explaining it very well.

hey first off I just want to say -

you are entirely correct in your reaction that people outside of America/the English-speaking world do not need more American culture thrust upon them! this discussion is extremely centered on Americans, the reception and reaction to rap within America, and excuses that white American use to avoid interacting meaningfully with Black culture, art, and ideas. while anti-Blackness as an issue obviously extends far outside of America, this particular conversation is deeply tied to American culture. I appreciate you pointing that out!

I also think you're point about rap, and by extension other Black artforms, being Othered in American pop culture. certainly in terms of language, African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is utilized by many rappers, is still heavily disputed in its validity as a "real" language, with many dismissing it as a bastardized version of "proper" English and associating it heavily with those who are lower-class and uneducated. in a similar way to many international artists having to work in English to gain wider recognition and validation, many Black Americans are proficient in "code switching," the practice of switching between AAVE that they likely grew up speaking and an English dialect that is considered more "professional."

similarly, I think your use of the term "low-brow" is very apt. Black music has always been met with distrust and disdain by white audiences. there's a reason that so many people feel the need to bring up sex, drugs, and violence when they talk about rap; to many white cultural gatekeepers that was all rap was. (and, like, we should very much talk about why that is in and of itself a bad thing, when white crime is so often glorified in pop culture. why is the Godfather a classic masterpiece but Black men making art about their own experiences with racism, violence, poverty, and survival don't deserve serious consideration?) and that didn't start with rap! in the early 20th century jazz, also a Black creation, was seen as dangerous for promoting promiscuity among nice white teens. no matter what Black people make, white cultural gatekeepers will find a way to start a moral panic about it.

the reverse also happens as well, with Black people being treated as foreigners even in music genres that they helped pioneer. Black Americans were hugely formative in the early days of country, but are met with hostility in the contemporary country scene. Lil Nas X's Old Town Road was one of the biggest songs of the year it was released and undeniably country but was largely snubbed by country music community, and Beyoncé's new country album, Cowboy Carter, is a direct response to her hostile reception at the Country Music Awards in 2016.

the point being, yes, I don't think it's off-base to say that, to many Americans, rap and Black music and art generally are like... very optional and avoidable parts of pop culture in the way that more white-dominated genres are not, similarly to a lot of international and especially non-English art.

[heretherebedork]

One of the hardest parts is knowing that I could have been Sun as a teenager. My parents were open and accepting and I had no secrets and I had no idea why anyone would have a secret from their parents. I never did out anyone, luckily, but I understand how it happens. And how it happened here. Sun is just so used to honesty and she has no reason to consider any other reaction... even though she should know better... I get why she doesn't. It's wrong and she should not have outed anyone without being certain it was okay but I see the innocence of where she comes from, that certainty that every family can be like your own if you just treat them that way.

But Ongsa's face here? That fear and that pain and that instant worry? The way Alpha had already reminded her that she would have to tell their mother someday? The knowledge that she already fears this? Oh, it hurts.

And this just hurt. But it also shows that Sun wasn't looking to Ongsa during this. She wasn't following her signals or seeing her face fall or her nerves. Nothing of the sort. Sun didn't wait for Ongsa, didn't consider what she wants or what she was ready to do... she outed three people without a second thoughts or a moment's hesitation. And as much as I want to live in a world where that's something no one has to worry about or hesitate about, we don't live in that world.

(This also shows, honestly, how little they've talked despite dating each other. That Sun doesn't know Ongsa is still in the closet to her family? That Ongsa has never told Sun about all of this? They're dating and they love each other but none of this has come up because they're young and they assume everyone thinks the way they do.)

THIS is where I get frustrated with Sun. Seriously? She is not young or innocent enough to truly believe there's no such thing as homophobic parents or people or that staying in the closet is a thing no one does. I understand her relationship with her parents has shaped her but to take this level of offense at Ongsa trying to stay in the closet when they did discuss them coming out publicly and it was always Ongsa who hesitated and didn't want to tell others? It's rough to see.

NEVER?! Never!? That's what you take from this Sun!? It has NOT been long for you to be waving around forever in her face. You've never even discussed what coming out to her parents might look like or why she's in the closet and now you're upset and outing her more thoroughly in your upset?! The agony.

Poor Ongsa. She's barely holding her together and her girlfriend is outing her to her parents and her parents are frustrated and she didn't want any of this and now she's stuck in the middle and it hurts so much to watch her.

Sun, how you can look at your girlfriend looking like this and still out her to her parents?! Come on!

Repeat after me, kids! No one deserves to be outed, no matter what you think, no matter what you believe, no matter your comfort level. No one deserves to be outed. Do not out the people you love. Do not out them even if you think it's for the best. People come out in their own time and in their own way and everyone deserves that.

(I am also very, very worried about how they're going to handle this tbh.)

[ebdaydreamer]

fuck it friday

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard

so ummmm I wrote a whole fic. here it is on ao3

tagging: @bigfootsmom @monsterrae1 @elvensorceress @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life

@spaceprincessem @bucksbiawakening

It's spec but not really spec the idea just wouldn't leave me alone enjoy:

“Well that was dramatic,” Buck said to break the awkward silence.

They had just got home from the hospital. It was a total false alarm, Eddie was fine, but whilst he was off getting every test under the sun done, his life blew up in the waiting room.

First his parents came, with Chris in tow. And everything was fine, Buck was chatting to them, everyone was just trying to remain calm. Until somehow the topic turned more sombre, and they were discussing what would happen if Eddie really was sick. And well, one thing led to another, and Eddie’s will was brought up, and Helena Diaz lost it.

Then Marisol rushed through the doors, asking them what happened.

Which was odd, because Eddie had been on a date when they all got the call that something had happened.

Then the ghost of Shannon Diaz walked in. The woman Eddie had been on a date with when he was rushed to the hospital.

All hell broke loose.

The group had marched to Eddie’s room, demanding explanations. Buck held on to Chris who was looking a little green himself. This was not his place. He could ask Eddie what the fuck he was thinking and why he didn’t talk to him later.

And this was that later.

Eddie gave a half laugh and sunk into the chair at his dining table. “That’s one word for it.” He rested his chin in his palm, but Buck could see he was shaking.

“What’s going on, Eddie?” Buck asked softly. “Talk to me, please.” He held up his hands, palms facing Eddie. “No judgement, I promise. I’m not exactly in the position to, anyway.”

Eddie shook his head. “You got drunk and kissed someone else once. I lied… to everyone I know, for weeks.”

“O-OK, but why?”

He took a deep breath, gaze pointed to the left of Buck’s head. He hadn’t looked him in the eyes since the hospital.

“I guess… I wanted to live in the delusion a little longer. That somehow I’d found Shannon again, that I had that magic back, instead-” He abruptly cut himself off.

And Buck guessed he could understand. Because cheating on his girlfriend aside, everyone would have told him what a bad idea dating Kim was. Because she wasn’t Shannon. She looked a creepy amount like her, but she acted nothing like her. And it wasn’t fair to her to just be a replacement. 

Buck wondered if that was what Eddie had been doing with every relationship since Shannon died.

“Eddie, what you had with Shannon… you’re never going to have that again.” Eddie began to protest, and Buck cut him off. “But that’s OK. It’s supposed to be different. There’s no one right way for a relationship to be. That doesn’t take away from what you had with her.”

The chair screeched against the floor, and Eddie jumped up. “It has to be! My kid needs a mom and I need a wife and-”

“OK, we both know that’s B.S.” Buck stood up, and held out his hands to Eddie’s shaking ones. Just in case he needed steadying. “That’s what has been drilled into your head as a kid-”

Eddie huffed and began walking to the living room. Buck followed.

“about what families are supposed to be, but you and I know that isn’t true!”

Eddie stopped and spun around, panic flashing in his eyes. “What other choice do I have? Because there’s what I want and what I can have. I can want Shannon, but I can’t have her. I can have someone safe and easy like Marisol, even if that’s not what I really want. Because believe me, there’s a lot I want but can't have!”

“Like Shannon? Eddie, if… if you think Shannon was it for you… then stop torturing yourself. Stop forcing things you think you need to have. And who knows? Maybe one day you will find someone you want again. But it’s not fair to the people you date or yourself to keep forcing a relationship.”

“This isn’t about Shannon!”

Buck blinked. Eddie’s chest heaved. Chris snored from down the hall.

“W- what?”

“I mean… a part of it is. A part of it always will be. But there are other…” Eddie waved his hands as he searched for the words, “things that I’ve realised I want, that I can’t have. So sue me for trying to recreate the one good relationship I was actually allowed to have.”

Buck swallowed and nodded, trying to follow along.

“Right, so there’s something else you want. Why not go for it? What’s stopping you?”

“I told you, I can’t.”

“Eddie, you deserve to be happy.” He said it softly, gently, like approaching a wounded animal, because he knew that Eddie didn’t quite believe it. “You deserve to be a little selfish, for once.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I just did the selfish thing, and I think it ruined everything in my life.”

“You screwed up. Big time. But you haven’t ruined everything. Your parents will get over the will thing. Chris will forgive you. And you’ve still got all of us. The 118.” Buck smiled at him. “You’ve still got me.”

“Do I?” Eddie snapped, finally meeting his eyes.

And Buck… Buck felt like he’d been pushed back by the force of his words.“Of- of course you have me! I’ve got your back, remember? You’ve been the one pushing me away these last few weeks. Which is what you do when you’re hiding something. Now I know and we can get back to normal.”

Eddie stepped towards him, until they were close enough that Buck had to tilt his chin down ever so slightly to fully meet his eyes. His eyes that were now storming with something Buck couldn’t recognise. “What if I don’t want to get back to normal?”

“What do you m-”

One hand on his neck. One hand in his shirt. Lips. Lips against his. Kissing. Eddie was kissing him. Why was Eddie kissing him? They don’t do this. Eddie wasn’t into men. But then again, Buck didn’t think he was into men until Tommy.

Tommy.

Buck pulled away and stepped back. “What the hell?”

“You asked what I wanted.” Eddie gestured between them. “There’s your answer.”

“Me?”

“You.”

Buck’s brain felt like static. He couldn’t even begin to process the amount of feelings and thoughts and questions bouncing around his brain. He tried to grab them as they flew past, and after a solid 30 seconds of spluttering, he managed to ask, “Since- since when?”

Eddie shrugged, lighter than before. “Not sure, really. I didn’t figure it out until I was bleeding out on that street, reaching for you. I fell. My eyes were so heavy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake. So I looked for you, and I reached for you and I realised I was in love with you.”

“You’re-”

“Yeah.” Now Eddie’s started looking at him, he can’t seem to stop. Buck felt like he was suffocating under his stare. “I couldn’t have ever dreamt you up in my wildest dreams. You’re… everything I never allowed myself to want. And the life we’ve built? Our friendship? It means so much. I couldn’t ruin what we already had. So yeah, I dated Ana and Marisol and Kim because I can’t get over you or Shannon.” Eddie made an amused noise and briefly looked away from him. “Maybe if I could get over at least one of you I could be happy with someone else.”

The silence returned. Eddie was clearly waiting for Buck’s next reaction, but he still couldn’t think properly. He tried to process the last few minutes: Eddie kissed him; Eddie was in love with him; Eddie has known this since he got shot.

“Three years ago, Eddie. Why are you telling me now? I’m with Tommy! I’m happy with Tommy!”

There had been time. Maybe not right away, when he was still with Ana, and then Buck was with Taylor. But they were both single for months. Hell, Buck died and Eddie still didn’t think it was important enough to tell him. This is the time? Not when Buck was scrambling to find the secret to happiness? When he died? When he asked Eddie about being shot? Literally any of the countless days they had spent together?

“Because! Because I’ve already blown up everything else in my life! What do I have left to lose? Besides, would it have even made a difference?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know and I can’t know because I’m with Tommy.”

Because Buck could think all he liked about the opportunities Eddie had had before now, but he couldn’t begin to wonder what would have happened if he had taken them. Because then he wouldn’t have Tommy.

Tommy, who was so hot and cool and confident.

Tommy, who made Buck feel giddy and excited.

Tommy, who made him laugh and moan and scream.

Tommy, who changed his life.

(But didn’t Eddie do that too?)

“Look I can’t…” Buck ran a hand across his face. “I have to go. I can’t do this right now, and Tommy has been asking for an update about you, because he’s worried about you, because he’s your friend and-” Buck cut himself off, knowing he was probably driving the knife a little deep. Eddie knew how badly he’d fucked up. He knew it when he’d kissed him. Buck wondered if he even cared anymore.

“I’ll text you later, I just… I gotta go.”

He turned away before he could see Eddie’s reaction and walked out the door.

It was the last time he went through that door for a while.

[classpecting-the-hoyoverse]

Veritas Ratio: The Rogue of Light

Rogue: The passive stealing class

One who steals aspect for others

Alternatively, one who shares or one who redistributes aspect with others

Light

Abstract: Knowledge, Awareness, Attention, Relevance, Fortune, Luck

Literal: Actual Light (Brightness), Vision, Eyes, the Sun, Stars

This is gonna become a series isn't it?

It is. Now let's get going on discussing everyone's favorite interstellar scholar: Dr. Veritas Ratio!!

Let's get the obvious out of the way: His aspect.

Light is more commonly known as the aspect of knowledge. But instead of talking about he’s light-bound personality wise, why don’t we shake things up a bit? We know that he's a smart and knowledgeable man, but what more can his aspect offer for us aside from that?

To fit with Ratio's Greco-Roman theming, I'll briefly discuss the World of Ideas in Plato's allegory of the Cave.

Forgive me to if I do get the allegory wrong and please feel free to correct me!

The gist of this is that ordinary people are like prisoners chained to a cave, only able to perceive reality through shadow puppets and the distorted noises that bounce off the cave walls. These prisoners were born in the cave and had been raised in the cave, not knowing anything else outside of it; ignorance. It's only when they break out of their chains do these prisoners start their path to enlightenment and they achieve it so once they see the bright sun outside of their cave; the World of Ideas.

Ratio seeks to break everyone from the chains of ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment through spreading his knowledge throughout the universe.

Ratio is the man who would forcefully break the prisoners' chains and nudge them towards the light, as much as he could anyways.

And for one specific character, he hopes it is enough.

We'll get back to him later! Next I want to talk about is Ratio and his connection to Christian Gnosticism, which likely had served as inspiration for the concept of the Light aspect in Homestuck. I will be borrowing ideas from one of optimisticDualist's essays so I highly recommend giving it a quick read before continuing onward.

According to Gnostic myth, the world was created through the desires of an aeon named Sophia, an Emanator of light. I should also note that the Greek word for wisdom is Σοφία.

Sophia longed to understand God in His entirety, but in doing so she committed treason and was thus cast out of heaven. Her desire gave birth to Yaldabaoth: a blind, violent, and ignorant god who knew nothing but himself. He created the material world that you and I perceive, shielded from the light of Sophia that birthed him. Because a blind god made the world in his image, the denizens of his earth are also blind to Sophia.

So what do banished gods have to do with the purple guy?

Well, just like Archimedes and screws, things come back around. In order to save yourself from Yaldabaoth’s world, one must be delivered a certain knowledge that is delivered by a “messenger of light” and thus gain the ability to perceive Sophia and her World of Ideas.

In other words, salvation can be sought in what Gnosticism calls a gnosis.

However, one cannot just simply be gifted a gnosis. Those who seek Sophia’s salvation must be driven to reach it, reach beyond the Demiurge’s dark and imprisoning world and into the intangible, bright world above.

Doesn’t that sound familiar?

By Gnostic definition, Ratio should be an Emanator of wisdom, helping curing others of ignorance and helping them on their way towards enlightenment. Hell, you can even say that he's a sylph with all the constant allusions to healing and helping, especially since that Ratio's a Doctor.

However, we all know that this isn't true. Within Ratio's character stories, it can be inferred that his one goal in life is to become an Emanator of the Erudition. His arduous pursuit of knowledge was likely all in hopes in attracting Nous' gaze.

Yet, despite all his efforts, Ratio was never spared a glance

Dr. Ratio is a model Emanator of wisdom by Gnostic standards, yet within his own universe his Aeon of Erudition does not acknowledge him. No matter how hard he tries, he will never reach the status of a member of the Genius society, almost as if he wasn't destined to be a part of it.

Let’s talk about his class: The rogue.

Rogues in Homestuck are the outcasts of their societies. They're loners, isolated, unable to fit in with the groups they want to identify in.

Rogue of Heart Nepeta Leijon lives alone in Alternia's wilderness far from troll society with her lusus as her only companion that is physically close to her.

She's been explicitly described as lonely, creating comics and ships of herself and her friends in order to mitigate her feelings of isolation from other trolls:

Then there's Rogue of Void Roxy Lalonde, who for her first 16 years of life was the only human within her town of carapaces, whom she provides food for. The only other human in her post-apocalyptic world is more than 1700 miles away.

Being a Void-Bound, her isolation is very much apparent, but her loneliness reaches its apex during her bad end in her Pesterquest route. Drinking herself to a stupor as the undeserving consequences of seeing her mother just once consumes her.

And then Rogue of Breath Rufioh Nitram, who was seen as a mutant for his wings and thus was avoided by his fellow trolls, which took a blow on his self-esteem.

Rogues also struggle with a surplus of their aspect and trying to cope up with that extra while it consumes them. Nepeta taking on the personas of other people through roleplaying, as well as her cave walls being covered in shipping grids. Rufioh living a literally directionless grubhood as travels with a nomadic group called the Lost Weaboos, not to mention his wings, a symbol of freedom, being the cause of why he views himself so lowly. And then there's Roxy, who feels so alone in the carapacian bastion that she fills that void with insobriety, befuddling her mind.

So what does this have to say about Dr. Ratio? All three rogues here have exhibited some type of self-worth issues and a desire to connect with others, but due to being so engulfed by their aspect, it hinders them from reaching that goal...

What if tiny Ratio exhibited such intellect at such a young age that throughout his childhood, he was told that he would be a great scholar growing up? Maybe his genius would earn him a spot within the Genius Society. He was even admitted into a university during his adolescent years.

As that is impressive as that sounds, can you imagine how isolating that can be for a child? Ratio, the only kid in class with his classmates years above him, talking about things outside of academia that he's too young to understand. Meanwhile Ratio likely doesn't interact with those his age as they couldn't provide anything to stimulate his brain. It could also be vice-versa too: Ratio trying to talk to them about topics far beyond their comprehension and they just start to distance themselves from him, unable to understand him, making an outcast out of him.

His intelligence and genius isolates him from making any genuine friendships during his formal years of life. At least, any that we know of before 2.1.

This loneliness does seem to follow him well into his adulthood as well: Becoming a celebrity comes with its own flavor of isolation: being surrounded by the limelight yet no one will truly understand you.

And let's not forget about his ambitions to become an Emanator of the Erudition, to become a member of the Genius Society, which he fell short of...

...something that he holds quite close to his chest, a betrayal of his self-perceived character. He became yet, once again, an outcast.

Another thing, I want you guys to got to Ratio's wiki real quick and see how many characters mention him.

How many people do you think were close to Ratio?

Within the team selection menu of Star Rail, Ratio has lines for when he's added to a team with Ruan Mei and Herta, yet the reverse isn't true. Both Genius scholars say nothing when added to a team with Ratio already in it, almost as if they don't acknowledge him.

There is, however, only one character who says something when added to a team with the Mundanite already in it.

Can you guess who it is?

But, as for all classes, their lives aren't meant to be miserable forever. A Rogue must find a way to overcome this loneliness; piecing through the walls of their confines made of their aspect. Instead of just keeping all their aspect for themselves like their Thief counterpart, Rogues find fulfillment through sharing their aspect, often by taking it from one source and distributing it to others. Or in some cases, exchanging something else in order to hand out.

And after all this, I dare say that Ratio joining the Genius Society would be the worst mistake he'd ever make. Stay with me, I have my reasons:

Though we never got to see much of Nepeta in action, we know that she distributes Heart through her shipping chart, arranging couples, distributing aspects of their personalities to see who would go together the best.

The amount of thought that she puts into her ships puts a Sylph of the same aspect like me to shame!

I digress.

In exchange of bringing attention to the Watterbitch that's about to destroy their game, Roxy was able to obscure the progression of her session from prying eyes, covering it in a blanket of blankness in order to keep Batterwitch from knowing what they're up to.

And then for Rufioh, his Alternian counterpart The Summoner lead a rebellion against the Condecse, using his wings to guide his fellow trolls towards freedom.

And even after his defeat, his tale lives on as Pupa Pan. While the tale of his rebellious predecessor the Signless is silenced and therefore lost to obscurity, the Summoner's story lives on, allowing the idea of freedom to flow into the mind of young trolls.

Dr. Ratio's entire character is dedicated to making education accessible for all. Though some of this does end up into his desire to cure people of idiocy, Ratio does truly believe that everyone should get a chance to attain knowledge. I'd even say that his ambition is the reason why he became a professor!

Ratio would dedicate his life towards his goal towards sharing knowledge, even if it meant forsaking Nous' attention in exchange.

His path also affirms this drive. One would expect that someone as knowledgeable as him would be following the path of Erudition, but instead Ratio follows the Hunt.

Ratio's determination to educate, his determination to spread light across the universe manifested into the path he follows. Even if he's never accepted by the Genius Society, he won't let that hinder him or dampen his drive. Ratio just simply strides forward.

The people who make up Nous' faction are described as researchers that rarely interact with each other, and even rarer are the people who are willing to share their research. Ratio would have never found fulfillment in being a member of the Genius Society, I'm almost certain that by joining it he would just be seeking out more and more knowledge, more and more light, becoming more and more isolated.

And one more thing: Rogues are fond of those who manage to get close to them. They appreciate their company and are incredibly dear to them.

For Nepeta, she has Equius.

For Roxy, she has Calliope.

Rufioh had Damara and the Summoner had the Marquise.

So who does Ratio have?

Even outside of a shipping lens, Aventurine is a very important person to Ratio. The 2.1 Penacony story quest demonstrated how much in tandem these two can be together; how much they trusted each other to pull off this huge gamble and draw attention to the death happening in the Planet of Dreams and Festivites. Luck and Knowledge, they both work in perfect harmony.

Aventurine calls him his equal during his episode in “Keeping Up with Star Rail”, claiming that Ratio’s the only one who can understand him.

Ratio and Aventurine must have something closer than just mutual respect however. Before Aventurine goes off into his grandiose self-annihilation, he checks up on him. He risks breaking their façade of disgruntled-coworkers-at-best just to make sure Aventurine can continue on.

Ratio does care for the Stoneheart. So much so that he imparts luck to quite literally the luckiest man alive in hopes that his advice will carry him out of the darkness that he’s in and back into the light. Bringing him out of the blinding Nihility and back into the World of Ideas, back into reality.

And it makes this note all the more important when Aventurine accepts Ratio’s advice, accepting his light when most would brush it off.

Ratio is a bright person, yet most cannot see past his luminosity and at the same time, he can’t shine bright enough to attract those he aspires to be. To remedy this, the Rogue of Light distributes his lights to others who needs it. He wants to cure those inflicted with ignorance and guide them towards enlightenment.

Knowledge for knowledge’s sake is not his Ratio rolls. His altruism may go against what the Genius Society believes in, but he wouldn’t change his ideals for anyone, steadfast in his determination to cure idiocy.

[bellaxgiornata]

okay this is something i’ve only ever seen one other person discuss on here so i wanna know your opinion on this: so black suit matt wears the covering over the top half of his face and that is by no means see through, so why didn’t ANYONE suspect something was up with that?? like do you think people think this dudes just showing off or that maybe he can see through it? it’s a thought that has plagued my mind many a time and i would love your thoughts on it!

I've often wondered that myself. Like he shows up with his eyes literally covered, you'd think people would eventually begin to suspect the masked man is actually blind and somehow has some way of fighting really well without his eyesight even if they don't have a way to explain it. Not to mention, Matt's favorite move is literally turning off the lights. ALL. THE. TIME. I feel like it's not that farfetched to think he can't actually see but can still fight considering the literal Avengers are part of the timeline here. People in the city know about Thor, a literal God, and there was an alien invasion in the not too distant past. It's not so crazy to think the Devil of Hell's Kitchen is a blind man with some sort of unexplainable abilities, too.

Though it's possible people might assume he can see through it. I mean, we know people often tend to think he looks ridiculous in the black suit with that mask on. So they probably assume it's something see through and just there to hide his identity because he fights so well they don't question it. And I suppose in the moment while getting your ass beat you wouldn't be paying close enough attention to see just how thick the material might actually be. Though I've often wondered why someone like Fisk doesn't stop to think about that... He hears all these stories about the masked man from his goons, sees things in the news, you'd think he'd eventually start piecing things together sooner...

That's a really good question though! Definitely had me thinking about it more myself. I guess people just see what they want to, and it seems too farfetched for them to believe the ninja-like vigilante could actually be blind and that's why he can cover his face like that and still fight so well.

[hannahssimblr]

It’s a dreary, drizzly evening that calls for streetlights earlier than usual, their light straining weakly through the thick mist off the bay, and as I glance down at Ivy with droplets of rain beading on the halo of frizz around her plaits I consider the fact that she was right, a jacket wouldn’t have been the worst idea. 

The lights are on early at Michelle’s house too, the voile netting over the netting in the living room window not giving anything away inside, just the vague shapes of whatever is on the television.

As always, the door is off the latch, and inside Jen is leaning against the counter by the toaster spinning a butter knife in her fingers. She gives me a wary look when we see each other. “She’s in the living room,” and holds her hand out to Ivy, “Hey Ives, do you wanna hang out with me for a little while? C’mere, oh, who did your hair today? Was it your brother? Yikes, okay let me have a look at this…”

I gingerly push through to the living room, where Michelle is engaged in an intense discussion with both of her parents. She’s slumped on the couch with puffy eyes while they stand with their backs to the fire, glancing at me with alarm as I enter the room wielding a bar of chocolate, which, in hindsight is a bit of a pathetic celebratory or consolation prize. 

“Hi.”

“Oh good, Jude,” Rahim beckons me over to the couch to sit with Michelle, and I take her hand, “can you tell her that this is not the end of the world?” He’s saying, voice tinged with impatience, “There are plenty of other opportunities.”

“Zero, huh?” I say gently, and she shakes her head, arm trembling as she passes the letters to me. One, two, three rejections. I read one of them briefly, from Paris. 

“‘...unimaginative and containing cliches…’ wow, that feels a bit harsh, doesn’t it? I don’t think they needed to be all like that about it.”

She breaks down in tears, “I’m a terrible artist.”

“No, you aren’t,” I skim through the one from Berlin, “Look, they’ve said here that this year’s application was their strongest in history. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“I just feel so stupid.”

“What? No, you’re the furthest thing from stupid.”

“Michelle, there are other options,” Rahim practically pleads, “Why don’t you go back to the application portal before it is too late and put down something more reasonable?”

Debra agrees, “This is what we’ve been saying, Michelle, maybe art is wrong for you. See? You shouldn’t have changed your mind in the first place. There’s a good reason you decided against it-”

“Yeah well I want to do it now, don’t I?” Michelle snarls, swatting tears away from her cheeks, “Jude and I are doing this together, it’s already decided.”

Her mother eyes me warily before deciding that I should probably hear this too, “Love, you know it’s not always a good idea to make big life decisions based on your boyfriend. Nothing lasts forever.”

“How could you say that?”

“What happened to veterinary science, hm? Wouldn’t that be a good career?”

“I wanted to be a vet when I was like, seven, what are you on about?” 

“Or she could be a doctor, like me!” Rahim attempts, but this is only met with a fresh barrage of sobs. I rub my girlfriend’s back uselessly while the chocolate softens inside its wrapper against the heat of my leg. 

Debra is looking at me empathetically as I comfort her daughter, as though she and I have some connection now, like a baton has passed through some small exclusive club for people who have held Michelle while she cries. “How did you get on with your applications?” 

“Oh, um, yeah, I got in,” I feel guilty even saying it but Michelle doesn’t really react to the news, as though she already made an assumption, but I jump in to finish quickly before she can make another. “I won’t be accepting any of them, though, I mean, obviously. I was only ever going to move away if Michelle was coming too, and, you know, unless London works out then that won’t happen.”

Michelle kneads her eye with the heel of her hand, “Did you not get the email?”

“What email?”

“From the London school.”

“Uh, no, I just saw the letters.”

Her eyes widen, “So you didn’t see the NCAD email either?”

“Since when were there emails?” 

“Oh my God,” she’s on her feet then, all of her misery forgotten in favour of urgency. “Go and look right now, what the hell?”

“Love,” Debra attempts soothingly, “it’s probably better if Jude checks his emails on his own, isn’t it? The last thing we want is for this to set you off-”

We’re already running for the stairs, her behind me prodding my back the whole way up in a way that feels like she’s forcing me to walk the plank to my untimely death in a tank of piranhas. We burst into her room and she runs to navigate to gmail while I sweat despite the temperature of her room, which is always kind of cold. 

I log in and the page loads up to two new emails sitting brazenly in my inbox.  

“There they are, click them!”

“Michelle I just want to say that-”

“Oh, come on,” she seizes the mouse and clicks for me, first the one from London, and her voice is flat, “They accepted you. No surprises.”

“It doesn’t matter though, does it? If they didn’t accept you too then I’m not going.”

“Mm.” She immediately clicks the next one, from NCAD, “It’s just points,” she mutters in explanation, “So it all depends on our leaving cert,” scrolling, she reaches the bottom of the email where my points sit, undeniable in a bold black font against stark white. 

I feel her stiffen. “One thousand?” 

“Uh, wow, is that good?”

There is a long pause. “Jude, that’s literally maximum points.”

I can’t bring myself to look at her right away, but I feel her eyes on the side of my face, searing holes through my skin. 

“I thought your interview went badly.”

“Yeah me too!”

“Well then-” she breaks off to make some noise that’s somewhere between a scoff and a sob, “then how did you get such ludicrously high points?”

“Like what I said, I suppose. They were arseholes to everyone on purpose,” I spin around to her, “What did you get?”

“Four fifty.”

So I grab hold of her hands and hold her very tightly and very still, I want to seem sure, “No matter what happens, we’ll be okay,” I promise, “Even if none of this works out for you, I’ll still be right here, do you hear me?”

She nods. 

“I’m not going anywhere without you. God, I mean, why would I even do that? You’ll get NCAD off the back of your leaving cert points, I’m one hundred percent sure. And... even if you don't, I'll stay in Dublin.” As soon as I say it I start feeling nauseated, and dizzy, a bit heady like I’ve inhaled some miscellaneous gas from the science lab, but I fight through it, “fuck all of those stupid plans for going abroad, right? I’m here.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“Okay, c’mere,” I pull her into me and hold her tightly, taking in the smell of her hair, the way her narrow shoulders, her birdlike frame softens in my arms and accept that this is the comfort I will rely on from now on. True, it’s not always easy with Michelle, but we really do love each other. Sometimes love is work, but love is rare and worth holding onto with both hands and your whole heart. All those plans I had, I think, they were misguided, a youthful mistake. Perhaps at some point in the future I can move to Amsterdam, or Paris, or Berlin, or London, and do something creative and exciting, but not now. That’s what I’ll do in ten years, when everything is different. I’ll make sure to tell Sam. 

Who did I think I was, really, trying to do all of that at eighteen? Now is for this, for Michelle. For doing something right.

“I love you,” she says, and I wonder, with her cheek resting against my chest, if she can somehow hear the way my heart tightens as though grasped by a fist, or how my breath catches in my throat when she says it. I’m surprised by the rising feeling that I might start crying, but I force it down.  

Crying over what, Jude? I sneer at myself. 

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Something stupid, as usual.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[rvb-canon-tuckington]

here are some "quick" rvb restoration thoughts before i go to bed that i may expand upon later, in no particular order:

this movie was ABOUT tucker but tucker is not in it. there is a tucker sized hole. we see tucker only a little bit more than we see donut, but tucker is still there the whole time!!! at the beginning, i was excited for the tucker whump, but does it count if not a single character reacts to the truly horrifying news that their friend has been controlled for a few months by eight or nine ais, at least two of which have tried to kill him and everyone you love before? like even if they had retconned red and blue teams being friends (which they didn't), you're telling me that we never get to see wash's reaction to this news? carolina's? two people who lost a different friend to this exact gruesome process of de-personing? no one ever tells carolina that tucker is in there and no one objects when tex goes to fucking decapitate him? like i get that caboose was the only person to see that tucker was actually still in there, and he can't really be trusted to communicate things clearly, but they could have even just included some sort of discussion where they decide that they think that tucker would rather be dead than be dragged along in this parody of life (and with the way the ais were torturing him, he probably would have agreed.)

speaking of caboose knowing that tucker is still in there - grif and simmons abandoning caboose rubbed me SO wrong. usually if a character is trying not to involve themselves, they'll "run away" to the nearest place to hide, not GET ON A SHIP TO FLY AWAY LEAVING CABOOSE TO DIE AT POSSESSED TUCKER'S HANDS. i get why they (the writers) did it, but that doesn't mean i have to like it lol

why weren't they FRIENDS ANYMORE

where was donut

what was that wash b-plot. what did the wash b-plot add?? what it did: make me feel weird about dr. grey's character, kill doc off screen, and make wash useless in the main plot. what it did not do: make sense. when did wash get injured post chorus? why is he hallucinating, period? why was he institutionalized? (and why is the room number the same as his prison number?) why did they spend so much time on it for it to have no real conclusion? they didn't need to have this weird "wash is hanging onto the past via doc" plot to have the carolina-wash-freelancer ghost heart-to-heart. (also i have never laughed so hard as when i saw the post pointing out that they left wyoming out bc neither my friend or i noticed lol) why wouldn't he know there was a manual way to activate the recovery beacon since he was LITERALLY recovery one? so many questions, no answers. what have you done to my boy, burnie.

the pacing was ATROCIOUS. nothing happened for the first half of the movie, a bunch of stuff happened in the second half, and none of it felt resolved.

where was donut

why was everyone separated at the beginning? why was no one worried about it? where was donut? where was carolina? why was no one worried about where tucker was? had caboose been the lone blue for the few months that tucker was gone and wash was hospitalized? genuinely, my friend and i thought that the reds and caboose had been mind wiped and dropped into their undisclosed locations without knowing why, and the plot was gonna be them all reuniting and piecing together what had happened and getting tucker back. alas.

it felt like it was the grif-simmons-caboose show, which was interesting because that's not a problem i feel like i've had before with this show. even if i saw less of a particular character than i wanted to. they usually have a pretty good balance of characters and this movie felt like they suddenly Realized how many characters they had and fumbled it.

i did actually really like the tex reveal that was BOSS i LOVED IT

i have more thoughts but this is far too long already so i'll save it for later lmao

[polyamorousmood]

Heya, I just wanted to stop by and say I appreciate you. I've been on a kinda weird poly journey the last year, and I love how normal your blog makes it feel. Like, I've spent some time in other pro-poly spaces (mostly Reddit unfortunately.....) and everything is always just so DRANATIC and TENSE and it makes me NERVOUS 😭 Your blog doesn't feel that way though and I appreciate it! Thank you 💕

- 🐿

heya, that's exactly why I made this blog so I'm a little -- 🥺🥹🥹 hold up☝️ I need a minute. 😭🥹

Forums and reddit seems to overwhelmingly be dominated by People Having Very Big Problems and No Good Solutions. Like:

Q: I realized I'm poly 4 yrs into a marriage and my spouse isn't okay wit it what do I do A1: you're gonna have to breakup, or repress yourself forever A2: [a lot of nuance], but ultimately, you're going to have to divorce or repress yourself forever A3: just emotionally manipulate your spouse into making concessions they don't feel comfortable with A4: couples counseling NOW and maaaaybe in 18-24 months an acceptable compromise can be reached A5: haha, yeah, you're going to have to repress yourself forever or divorce your spouse

and that being 85% of the posts was so fucking depressing and harrowing dude. Like, I think its important for those people that there be a space for that of course. But goddamn, that's all I could find 😭

So I tried to make a space that didn't suck. And not that those things never get discussed here (I know I've answered an ask like that before). But just. A place where its clear there's more to it than Suffering™️.

So I'm really glad that came across and that its providing pretty much what I wanted it to for you 💙💖🖤 I like thinking that even if I go inactive sometime, the blog will stay here as it is, and it can be a comfort 🫂then too

We do this because there is unspeakable joy in it

please stop by again, 🐿️ 💞

[misc-obeyme]

CC! You know how each of the Demon brothers represents an animal? or characteristics of mentioned animals (down below)

Lucifer = Peacock

Mammon = Crow

Leviathan = Snake

Satan = Unicorn

Asmodeus = Scorpion

Beelzebub = Fly

Belphegor = Bull/Cow (Cattle)

Makes me wonder if ALL Demons represent or have an animal counterpart. Which makes me question what kind of animal Barbatos/Diavolo/ Mephistopheles represent?

I was thinking Diavolo = Dragon and Mephistopheles = Horse. But i'm unsure about Barbatos! He gives me either Owl and/or Bat vibes but also lizard/reptile vibes because of his Tail? But then again, he could also be Snake like Leviathan. I swear Barbatos is a complete mystery. What do you think?

-Angsty Anon

Hi there, Angsty Anon!

Okay, so I've thought about this and like... way back in this blog's infancy, I had a few people tell me what they think for Dia and Barb, which was enlightening. Because I was also like... do they have animals??? I really thought they didn't!

But Dragon did seem to be the choice for Diavolo. Someone suggested Salamander for Barbatos which I can now not unsee. It's the tail, right? Like it's not quite like a snake's because it doesn't seem to have scales? But his horns are very clearly meant to be skeletal bat wings, so???

I dunno, I kinda think Diavolo could also be a Lion just because that fits his demeanor in my opinion! But if we're going by demonic appendages, then definitely he's got the Dragon vibes with those wings and horns.

I can't decide about Barb, either. I kinda like that he doesn't have one, he represents himself lol.

As for Mephisto, Horse would indeed be a good choice. We haven't seen his actual demon form yet, but I think he likely has a tail. I doubt they'd make it look like a horse's tail because how would they even do that? I also thought it might be cool if he was a Panther, especially if Dia was a Lion, you know? Like big cats for the royals/nobles.

I also thought about this a lot when it came down to my OCs. Because I was like, do I need to work out their demonic appendages based on an animal? What if I don't want to huh???

In the end, I decided that in my personal au it's only fallen angels that have an animal associated with them. I don't know why, but that's how it worked out lol. Because only one of my demon OCs is a fallen angel and before I decided this particular thing, I had given him animal appendages. Obviously the horns are kind of whatever they have to be, as with the bros.

Anyway, this is indeed a fascinating subject, especially the discussion about what Satan's tail is made out of. If he's a unicorn, why does he have a metal scaley looking tail right? Someone suggested it's bone, which I love. Especially since technically, a unicorn's horn would also be bone (I mean it can be whatever you want since they aren't real but it makes sense to me for it to be bone).

[the-somwthing]

Welcome to my little meta analysis essay called

Why do we misremember Flower Husbands as being “nicer” than it was?

Disclaimer: I’m not here to talk about whether or not FH is “toxic” or anything like that. It’s just a fact that many old fans rewatching FH POV and new fans who are watching it for the first time after seeing fan content tend to be surprised at how they actually behaved in the series compared to how everyone remembered them being back in the day. This will NOT go over whether or not I think FH is unhealthy or whatever and instead just discuss why I believe this phenomenon has happened.

So, if I try to make this a fancy well written essay, I’ll be here all day, so I’ll just get to the point. 3rd Life came out during the DSMP era of mcyt. MCRP has been around for ages, but the DSMP style of RP (which I’ll be calling “smp rp”) was pretty much popularized by DSMP, mostly towards the end of 2020. For reference, 3rd Life started early 2021, so there’s about a half a year between these two events, and DSMP kept going for years so 3rd Life was absolutely happening during the golden era of DSMP.

But what does DSMP have to do with this? Well, it sort of created this idea of “lore” and only specific things being “canon”. You can make fun of me for the way I worded that, but you know what I mean, DSMP was weird about that stuff. I don’t really blame them as it was kind of a new style of RP they accidentally spawned, but still, it was a confusing time for SMPs.

3rd Life was actually less like DSMP and more like the modern SMP RPs, where there’s no (known, lol) scripted events and the fandom itself deciphers what is or isn’t “canon” rather than it being told to them, with mostly everything being considered canon. HOWEVER, I do believe that DSMP’s style did still affect the fandom, specifically with the topic of this essay, Flower Husbands.

But why would it only really affect Flower Husbands? Now we get into a rough topic: shipping discourse. Back in those days, shipping in the mcyt fandom was heavily frowned upon. Moreso than it is today (I know it’s still around, but it was a lot worse the earlier we go lol). I’ve even seen old relics of ppl saying flower husbands should only be portrayed as platonic cuz it’s wrong to ship them, despite their team name literally being husbands. But more importantly, for A LOT of people, flower husbands was the One Ship people felt “allowed” to ship, BECAUSE it was canon. So they would allow FH and shun every other ship.

My point isn’t actually that, with it being the only “acceptable” ship everyone tried to make it more wholesome, though I suppose that could be a contributor. But my ACTUAL point is where all the things I laid out finally close in on each other:

Ships were a Dangerous territory in mcyt fandom, and ships being “canon” was something a lot of people weren’t prepared to deal with. People don’t want to get too close to RPF territory, but back in the day their ideas of c! vs cc! wasn’t as great, so they default to the DSMP Rule of “if it’s stated to be roleplay, then it’s canon to the characters, if not, it’s noncanon and just the CCs hanging out”.

You see where I’m going with this? When trying to follow this rule for a character relationship where they don’t explicitly state what is or isn’t RP, they hear “we’re married” and instantly mark that as canon to the characters since it clearly isn’t true to the CCs, and tend to block out anything else, otherwise you’re risking it not actually being true to the characters. Especially when it’s things like Scott saying something mean about Jimmy; that directly contradicts the “these characters are in love” thing, so it must not be canon, right?

But wouldn’t people still remember that these things happened, or did they actually straight up not process any of it? My answer to that is: of course everyone was paying attention, but with the context that it’s the CCs playing a video game, all of the teasing and other behavior seems WAY less serious. It just looks like average friends playing a hunger games smp together. And as I explained earlier, the fandom was ONLY processing this as a CC thing, so Scott’s treatment of Jimmy never stood out because that’s just how it is playing games.

Back to DSMP, I’m not active in that fandom anymore but I’ll see snippets sometimes, and I’ve seen the claim that beeduo was actually boring in canon and the fandom was the one that made it interesting. I feel like this is exactly what happened with FH. Nobody was actually expecting anyone to go hard into romantic roleplay, so the fans just take whichever pair says they’re getting married and fill in the blanks themselves. And that was normal back then, it wasn’t fans making stuff up for no reason, it was kind of expected of us.

So yeah, I personally believe that this whole confusion about FH is a result of its time. Whether you want to finally look at the actual substance of the relationship rather than following weird rules about what is or isn’t “canon”, or you believe that since FH was from a time where romantic RP was confusing and weird it would make the most sense to take into account the time period it came from and ignore the less appealing bits in favor of the fanon, I don’t really care honestly. But man isn’t this an interesting situation.

[tumblingxelian]

Chloe Bourgeois - Not a Typical Mean Girl

No, I am not going to sit here and talks about Chloe's family, or issues, or one writers seeming obsession with her. No!

I am here to discuss what I think is a very common misunderstanding about Chloe's character and the show in fandom that often crops up in discussion regarding her.

Namely that the thing Chloe needs most is to be chastised, rejected & punished for her mean behavior, that will sort her out!

As though that wasn't already a thing that happens?

Bear with me and I'll explain that claim first:

The school does not like punishing any students. The only reason Alya was punished for coordinating an effort to break into Chloe's locker is because Chloe threatened the principle. The only reason Marinette was almost expelled was because Lila framed her for cheating, theft & assault all in one day & she still needed to make a scene of the whole affair. There's one teacher that punishes students, but she does so unfairly, cruelly and haphazardly and in season 1, Chloe was not shown getting any special treatment from her. Special treatment from the faculty was not a thing unless we are counting later retcons.

So now that the faculty is out of the way, wat I mean is that Chloe is not a typical mean girl because she is not popular.

In stuff like Mean Girls, Heathers and so on, the usual standard is that the mean girls are mean, but they are also revered, beloved, popular in one way or another despite their horrible behavior.

This is not the case with Chloe.

Even in Season 1 where only Marinette & Nino seems to start the season disliking Chloe. (Her presence unpleasant but hardly traumatic given the Origins level bickering) Chloe was still not widely well liked by the class or school.

She had one friend in Sabrina and a second oh so briefly in Adrien, which did let her absorb some of his celebrity by proximity. But within 48 hours of having him she lost him; with Adrien becoming more distant to divorce himself from her behavior.

That's it and while one can say her haughty attitude and ego are the reason we know from season 2 she is aware everyone hates her & it upsets her.

S1-Chloe did get invited to some class events, but even then her presence was not largely welcomed with most far less prone to be patient with her than they were with others even if they exhibited similar behavior. Such as Kim bullying Ivan, or Nino expressing blatant frustration with Mylene, ETC.

By late season 2 she was pretty much entirely segregated from her peers, barring Sabrina, and her presence welcomed with shades of disinterest, disdain or outright hostility. Sometimes evoked on her part or just in general.

This is a big difference from the usual Mean Girls = Popular Girls trend but I often don't see it acknowledged in fandom discourse.

This especially feels to be the case given so often I see people arguing Chloe "needs" to be rejected, or told her behavior is bad, or that no one likes her... But she is, all the time, she is entirely aware people don't like her and unhappy about it.

The issue is not that her bad behavior is being rewarded in school. The issue is that bad behavior is what she was taught at home and what is encouraged there and what is shown to work for her parents. But it doesn't work for her and she doesn't know why, because no one really bothers to teach her why. hey just get angry and snap at her or ignore her.

& sure you can say its not her peers job to explain morality o empathy to someone who was explicitly taught by their father how to cheat at & win elections by intimidation. But the fact is no one at home is going to do so because they are modelling, encouraging & teaching the opposite up until it impacts 'them' personally.

Not sure if there's a greater point to this, but...

I often find people acting like the thing Chloe needs is for her bad behavior not to be 'rewarded' or 'indulged' by her class and to instead be 'rejected' and for her to face 'consequences'.

But she does! That's basically all she does; & When she doesn't usually an Akuma tries to murder her anyway!

So yeah, Chloe isn't a typical mean girl.

She's actually deeply unpopular among classmates and the school has a discipline issue all over, it didn't come from her.

More negativity is not going to magically make her "better".