#this makes me especially unhinged i can’t explain it it’s the fucking desperation of it all the sheer helplessness and hopelessness

[daisynik7]

cw: established relationship, smut - car sex (cowgirl), cunnilingus, creampie, spit used as lube

Author's Note: Been a minute since I wrote a smutty Nanami drabble and I thought of this today while in heat LOL. Enjoy! MDNI divider by @/cafekitsune.

Thinking about you and Nanami sneaking off during your company holiday party to fuck each other silly in the car. 

He’s your plus one tonight, dressed to the nines in his signature suit and tie, looking as dashing as ever. You’re in the new dress he bought you, the perfect fit, matching subtlety with him. He hasn’t been able to take his hands off you, one always draped over your shoulders, behind your back, or around your waist. He squeezes you gently whenever one of your wacky coworkers says something inappropriate or unhinged, even firmer if it’s your boss saying it. When you’re both sat at the table, waiting for dinner to be served, he places his hand on your knee, holding you because he just can’t stop touching you, especially in this dress. 

Dinner and two glasses of wine in, you warn him that it’s almost time for the speeches, which are notoriously long and boring. Feeling frisky, he stands up, pulling you with him, briefly explaining to the others at your table that you have to excuse yourselves for whatever reason. They don’t bat an eye, too immersed in their own drinking and merriment to even care where you two run off to. 

Nanami opens the car door for you, like a true gentlemen, beckoning you into the backseat. And unlike a gentleman, he slaps your ass on the way in, chuckling to himself as you playfully yell at him. He follows, locking the car from the inside, already shedding his blazer off. You do the same with your dress, but he stops you, a wild look in his eyes. “Keep this on. I want to fuck you in it.”

You fold the fabric up your thighs until it’s bunched around your waist, allowing you to spread your legs wide enough to display your cunt to him. Of course you aren’t wearing underwear. In fact, he told you not to, intending to do this to you from the very start. If there’s anything you’ve learned about your husband in the last year or two, it’s that he’s recently developed a kink for spontaneous car sex. Not that you’re complaining. 

He dives in, spreading his tongue and smearing his spit all over your aching clit. He’s quick and vicious with it, desperate for your orgasm so he can feel it all around him when he eventually slides his cock inside you. It doesn’t take long for you to give it to him, and once you do, he hoists you onto his lap, kissing you sloppily with his cum-coated lips. You straddle him, grinding against him, your wetness leaking onto his slacks. He pulls out his cock, throbbing in his fist, staring at you with a hazy expression. “Spit on it.” 

You give him a smile and a smooch before dribbling a thick wad of your saliva straight onto his shaft. He shudders, coating his entire length with it, stroking it fast in his grip. He circles the wetted tip around your swollen clit before sliding inside you, letting out a guttural moan as soon as he bottoms out. “Fuck,” he grunts, pressing a delicate kiss to your forehead, cupping your cheek softly in the palm of his hand. 

You nuzzle into his touch, rocking yourself back and forth on him. “Fuck me, Kento. And don’t hold back.”

And he doesn’t, fucking you hard and rough, making you temporarily forget about that silly holiday party still happening inside. They have no clue that you’re getting fucked stupid in the backseat of your car by your husband. That he’s tearing this pussy up with every brutal thrusts he pounds into you, his thumb massaging deep into your core, greedy for your orgasms. 

Neither of you care what a mess you’re making, his hair matted on his sweaty forehead, your dress wrinkled and ruined, his slacks splotched with damp spots from your slick leaking out. It gets even messier when he comes inside you, unable to stop some of his creamy load from seeping into the fabric of his pants.  

Without much of an effort, the two of your pull yourselves together enough to head back to the party. Nanami wraps his jacket around his waist, looking ridiculous, and you ignore the curious stares of your coworkers as they eye the suspicious winkles on your dress. 

It doesn’t matter anyways; you only return in time to collect your bonus. Once it’s in your hands, you thank your boss and excuse yourselves for the rest of the night, ready for round two, three, and four in the comfort of your own home. 

[i-sveikata]

I’m re-reading the last chapter and I’ve just got to say I really like how you write Vegas’ character. Forgive me if I don’t explain this correctly but I believe the original character of Vegas (and the Vegas portrayed in most ff) is very much only interested in being in control and a Dom when it comes to sex with Pete. (Maybe I’m wrong and this is just the Vegas portrayal I tend to see). But in yours he is very into the idea of Pete taking on that role and whilst I’m sure he would love to do do the same to Pete he knows that’s not really an option atm because of their past. But what I love with your writing of Vegas is that you haven’t changed his whole personality because of this. Idk if it makes sense but soooo often when I read a ff of the characters switching this dynamic it’s like their whole personality changes with it! But no, your Vegas is still absolutely mad and I love it😂

I hope that makes sense but if not all you need to know is I love your writing and I looooove how you write Vegas’ and Pete’s personalities and the reasons why they act the way they do!

Hey anon!! Thank you!! Ohhh that’s really interesting!! Tbh I’ve only read a handful of fic about them and I’ve never actually read the original book so mostly all of the decisions I’ve made have been tv show vibes ✨ that I’ve interpreted from the characters.

I didn’t really think that I was doing something that different for him character wise lol I mean took one look at that man being an absolute loser causing problems for everyone else on purpose and just thought hmm that’s someone who is absolutely desperate for love and would be fiercely insane unhinged about it and here we are!!! Lol

Also just comparitively between him and Pete in the show- Pete has a distinct steadiness/ confidence to him that Vegas doesn’t appear to have imo. Or at least Vegas displays it like a game, wears a mask of confidence but defs comes across as emotionally and mentally insecure in a way that Pete doesnt. He strikes me as the one who needs love wayyyyy more than Pete to the point that he’s absolutely feral about it and these kind of character traits seemed to lend very easily (at least to me) towards Vegas being at Pete’s mercy in a lot of ways and Pete being the steady one who wants to take care of him. So yes that comes across in their sexual dynamic too.

But tbh I guess I also just love the concept of Vegas completely ignoring Pete in the beginning/ kind of writing him off as a non entity when he was trying to get Porsches attention only to absolutely lose his mind over him now. To not even be able to exist without Pete after he first dismissed him. I just especially think that turnabout is neat ahahahha.

Especially because it’s a lot more fun turning the typical class differential/power dynamic between them completely on its head then playing into what felt to me at times like the very one dimensional character Vegas was acting as. Like it’s very easy to write him off as a psychopath little raincoat murder boy who is willing to go to any lengths to get what he wants because he’s the villain of the story.

It’s 100% more interesting to me that he fucked around and found out and is now entirely swept up in his feelings and desire for Pete as a consequence of that and now he’s fully prepared to submit to Pete instead. To now be willing to do anything in order to keep him. So showing Vegas as a much more complex person and actually a painfully insecure and fucked up one who can’t believe that Pete might actually genuinely like him just came very naturally in this story. That kind of dynamic is much more spicy to me than it would be if it was simply Vegas sleeping with an adjacent subordinate and domming Pete because he likes to be in control. It feels more like a subversion of the serial killer/psychopath/mafia boss tropes to play around with Vegas’ submission to Pete than it would the other way around.

And tbh I think if it was the other way around I’m not sure I would find their dynamic so interesting esp because Pete starts off in such a powerless place in this story- so for him to still be in that position or dynamic obviously wouldn’t be good for Pete re his trauma- but it also allows for less of a shifting/ growing sexual dynamic that’s also running parallel to their own advancing relationship and growing feelings for each other too.

But yes I do hope I haven’t strayed too far from his personality in playing all of this out and I’m glad that you like what I’ve come up with!! It’s not about putting a character in a position where they do something that doesn’t make sense or reflect their personality or actions it’s about twisting the characters thoughts and feelings etc and their circumstances so there’s no other justifiable way for them to behave that really makes writing complex characters fun!

No you totally make sense! And it’s really great to hear peoples different perspectives and their experiences in the same fandom because we’re not all going to think the same about all of these things. It’s all such a wild ride! And truly fascinating to me how people interpret characters differently!!

[billdenbrough]

Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately RICHIE WAS DOWN ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES STARING AT HIM DESPERATELY i am simply losing my mind

[simstationdance]

i loooove your drawings please drop that tristan legend analysis you mentioned im crazy over the handheld spinoffs <3

omg 💕 i Love talking about Tristan Legend so i’m really happy you asked... (all of my friends can attest to this i literally never shut the fuck up about him)

real talk, when i played the sims 2 gba the first time, i don't know why my brain decided to latch onto This Guy:

but it did. and so, uh... here we are sdfjhdsjfsh

this answer kinda got... long... I really hope it's good 😭

--

note: not sure how much this matters but im gonna mention it anyway - i've mostly just played the GBA game and have seen only a small portion of the DS game. thus almost all of my thoughts about tristan are derived from things he says/does in ts2 gba, more than ts2 ds. if I say something about him and it somehow turns out to be wildly incorrect bc of some obscure piece of dialogue from ts2 ds.... uhh that's why. i know he apparently used to be the uhh, the rat man. but other than that idk much of what he says in that game, if he says anything really important at all.

--

Here's my analysis / headcanon(?) / theory / whatever you wanna call it about Tristan Legend:

Tristan's bio describes him as "more handsome, more charismatic, and more talented" than anyone else on earth. That's a pretty big claim to make, and I'm not sure how much I believe him.

Don't get me wrong, I do think he's very skilled and very smart. He'd have to be, honestly, to pull off the things he does. Building entire hotel rooms in a matter of hours, and creating Optimum Alfred (and oh man do I have A Lot to say about Alfred, but this post would be too long if I included all of that here), among other things, are tasks that require a great level of skill and intelligence.

However, I get kind of a... weird vibe off of him? A vibe of ‘local man just met you, a random stranger, but he really really wants you to think he’s cool and for you to tell him so.’ He seems like the kind of person who genuinely can’t stand being considered ‘average’ or ‘ordinary,’ and would rather others see him for his feats of strength and skill more than anything else.

As a result, he’s resorted to going to extremes in an effort to prove something to himself and/or other people. To prove to others that he really is ‘more handsome, more charismatic, and more talented than anyone else on earth,’ that he’s... well, a Legend. Because otherwise, who is he and what is he really worth?

I'm not sure how to explain what I mean any better than that, but I'll try.

So, in the episode 'What Digs Beneath,' when you encounter Tristan in the saloon, he says this and nothing else:

“Sometimes when I see a tornado or a big sand storm, I just walk right up to it and stand in the center. That’s what I call the “Zen Zone.” It eases my mind.”

In the episode 'Aliens Arrived', the next time you see him (in the barn), he says this, once again followed by nothing else:

"Sometimes I volunteer for scientific experiments for a little extra cash... especially when it involves an explosion. Those pay extra.”

In these first few episodes, you're still technically new in town, and so - rather than introduce himself, or even say hello to you when you come to talk to him - the very first (real) impression that Tristan seems determined to make on you is that he's this Super Cool Guy who performs wild-sounding stunts like meditating in sandstorms, and that he does impressive things like volunteering for scientific experiments ~with explosions~.

All things considered, I actually do believe him when he says he's done these things - because I feel like Tristan is determined and unhinged enough to actually do all of that, or at least try. You know, just to prove that he can. Just to have something to talk about. To show to others and be like, ‘Isn’t that neat? Am I cool now?’

--

I feel like his desperate urge to impress people comes out in full force in the episode ‘The New Scent.’ Understandably so, I suppose, because he wants to impress a woman, Kayleigh Wintercrest (because her perfume is driving the boys wild... uh, literally).

But Tristan Legend is not one for half measures, and Kayleigh is notoriously difficult to win over. So he decides the best option is a romantic horseback ride. And he decides “I’ll impress her by telling her I tamed them myself,” so he goes out and... actually tames some wild horses.

“All women like horses, that’s a fact.” Hmmmm.

I don’t know about you but this sounds, to me, less like he’s stating a fact, and more like he’s been reading articles in magazines about generalized dating advice, just hoping he’s gonna get this right.

In this same episode, the player is tasked with sabotaging the efforts of all the other men trying to woo Kayleigh by the mayor, who also wants to woo Kayleigh. In this case, Giuseppi is cleaning manure out of a barn so that Tristan can keep the horses somewhere before the date. The player sabotages this by filling the barn with even more shit than before. uh... yeah.

Tristan’s reaction to sight of this sent me into orbit and still lives in my brain to this day.

”You won’t believe your eyes, Mr. Legend. I cleaned up the place real good! Spotless, every nook and cranny.” ”I told you it was fun, didn’t I?” ”You sure did, Mr.--” [Tristan and Giuseppi find the barn filled with manure again.] ”GAH! W-what happened here! This place is a mess! It’s awful!” ”...You seem to have lied to me, Giuseppi.” ”N-no, Mr. Legend... good grief, I KNOW I cleaned this place!” ”I don’t think there’s any time left to clean it before Kayleigh arrives.” ”Aw geez, I am so sorry Mr. Legend. I feel so bad.” “But there IS time to throw you from a moving train. C’mon. Let’s go. It’ll be even more fun.” “Oh thank you for this opportunity Mr. Legend. Really, I mean it.” [Tristan and Giuseppi walk off screen]

His reaction to losing his chance with Kayleigh Wintercrest is to talk about throwing a guy off of a moving train with a big smile on his face. This, uh, feels like a... mild... overreaction.

This man has problems.

--

Anyway. So, the rest of his bio ("Not much is known about the infamous Tristan Legend...") implies that he doesn't talk much - and not just to you, but to anybody - about other areas of his life that don't directly pertain to his outrageous stunts and interesting hobbies.

And this appears to be true, as every chance the player has to speak to him during the game (from what I can remember / have seen, at least), he doesn't have very much to say, and doesn't seem especially interested in telling you too much about himself. Which is valid, considering you kinda just showed up, but it’s more the fact that no one in Strangetown seems to know very much about him to the point where it becomes a feature of his in-game biography that piques my interest.

In the final episode, 'It All Came to An End', the most information he gives about his past in this case is the fact that he built Optimum Alfred when he was five years old. And he doesn’t seem very interested in talking about that. His attitude towards Alfred’s existence in general feels like... “yeah I built a highly advanced robot when I was five, so what? Who cares about that? Wanna hear about how I base jumped off of an erupting volcano instead?” or whatever.

(The word 'infamous' in his bio would also imply that he's known for having done something Bad, but even to this day, people have a tendency to think 'infamous' is synonymous with 'famous' when it isn't. I don’t know what Tristan could possibly have done to become ‘infamous’, so I'm going to let that slide.)

When he appears in episodes where he isn't plot-relevant, he says similar things to what he says in the second and third S1 episodes, or things that have something to do with the plot of the episode itself, and otherwise just hangs around.

--

Or, in one earlier case, he talks about killing giant scorpions. Because, in the sims 2 DS, it’s revealed that they took off with his girlfriend. This is one of the few personal things he tells you about himself in that game, to my knowledge.

“If you see any giant scorpions out here, let me know. I think I killed all of them, but I can’t be certain.”

This is the first, and only, thing he says to you in the episode ‘Buried By The Mob’. You can just walk up to him and he’ll say That, and if it wasn’t for the relationships menu you probably wouldn’t even know who he is.

(I have heard that people are unsure(?) whether the sims 2 ds is a prequel or a sequel to the sims 2 gba. I honestly don’t know either way. If ds is a prequel, then this line becomes deeply upsetting. If ds a sequel, then this line becomes deeply upsetting in a... slightly different way.)

--

So, tl;dr:

In my eyes, Tristan Legend really seems like the kind of person who - while genuinely very cool all on his own, and surprisingly good at just about anything he tries - feels like just being 'cool' on its' own isn’t enough. He can't just settle for that and call it a day, he wants to be Number One.

So, he will go to any lengths to achieve the ideal of being The Coolest Person On Earth, keeping everything else of a more personal nature to himself, left mostly up to the imagination. He’d rather be defined by his Risky Achievements and his Impeccable Talents than anything else.

(He also does not seem to take ‘losing’ very well at all.)

But that's just the vibes he gives off to me. I definitely have more to say about the man the myth the (tristan) legend, but this post is long enough as it is i think. I also tried to keep it to just analysis of what’s presented in the game, i didn’t want to go too far into wild speculation and headcanon territory bc i was worried it would seem... weird...? i literally have terminal 7 brain rot over this obscure pixel man help

[gwenhwyvach]

thoughts on the green knight (2021)

i have a lot of Thoughts that i was originally going to post to my main but this is what the sideblog is for. tl;dr under the cut

tl:dr: i think overall the themes were well-represented, but i couldn't figure out WHY they changed the things they changed - some examples i was looking for were things like making it more accessible to a modern audience, or fitting into the allotted time, but those weren't really there. it was largely incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't have intimate knowledge of the poem; i think that inaccessibility like that is a MAJOR flaw in a movie (again at the bottom) things i am docking points for, in chronological order:

christmas day: this isn't like important to the plot but it's super annoying to me personally when people think the date for the beheading is christmas day when it's actually new year's day. we've all heard 12 days of christmas it's not that big of a stretch to figure out they're still celebrating it on new year's

morgan being gawain's mother: this is a big one! arthuriana has so few female characters, and erasing morgause removes a major one and messes up a lot of stuff by moving her to the beginning. more on this later.

sub-bullet of that actually: why is arthur so old when morgan is not. what is UP with that

other sub-bullet of morgan in the beginning: her giving gawain the belt and it getting taken by the kids who mugged him. i can see it representing loss of innocence and his mother not being able to protect him anymore, but then its role switches to being a lot more symbolic later (to match its role in the poem) in a way that is confusing for the audience. more on this later as well.

re: the kids mugging him in the forest: i GUESS this symbolizes loss of innocence? maybe? but it just makes gawain look like an idiot and lengthens this part of the movie so i'm docking points.

the fox: i literally do not get the point of this from a metaphorical standpoint. literally as his guide it made sense up until the end. trying to convince him NOT to go to the chapel seemed...counterpoint to its motives up until then?

the exchanging of winnings: this is a big one because it's so crucial to the poem and like. how do you mess it up this bad while still including it. first of all lady bertilak gave him the book before the exchange was even called so to the audience it looks ridiculous. and don't even get me started on the weird camera-esque portrait!

then like. she gives him the belt on the FIRST DAY. completely fucking up the timeline here. why would you do that.

and THEN she doesn't even kiss him! she fucks gawain completely without kissing him,, so when lord bertilak kisses him it makes literally no sense from an audience standpoint. if you're gonna make it an exchange of winnings it should be an even exchange so it. makes sense? (this is where 'it makes no sense! compels me though.' applies.)

the belt fucking scene: would've been fine except lady bertilak said 'you're no knight.' this (clearly modern) interpretation of the text wasn't there at all. in the poem, the problem wasn't gawain kissing her; it was him failing to give all the winnings to lord bertilak. /that/ is what made him fail. this is actually my biggest beef with the movie's adaptation for a modern audience.

the old woman in the bertilak's castle: SO stupid. just there to make gawain (and the audience) uncomfortable. since morgan has been removed piecemeal and dropped at camelot, this old woman is useless and confusing, especially without the juxtaposition between the poet's description of her and their description of lady bertilak.

the end of the beheading game: first of all, gawain getting there early is dumb and renders the knight's three swings narratively useless

the dream sequence: narratively does a decent amount to contextualize the meaning of the green belt, but ONLY if you know where it's going. if you know that the belt is supposed to symbolize gawain's failure to complete the quest and hold his oath, it makes sense! otherwise it just seems like a belt he had sex for one time and now refuses to take off. confusing.

also i hate it as a device. wasn't good when twilight did it, isn't good here. (i don't actually remember any other movies that did this off the top of my head)

the actual end: terrible! you cut out like, the most important part of the poem: when the green knight actually explains everything, including who he is, the fact that morgan's involved and her motivations, the point of the exchange of winnings. this is further confused by the movie green knight stroking gawain's face and calling him 'his brave knight.' if you don't know that that's the guy who kissed him ten minutes ago you're even more confused now

not to mention we don't see if the green knight actually decapitates him. like i get that you're going for ambiguity here but. why.

speaking of ambiguity, it's nearly impossible to decode what's going on if you don't know the poem really well. i touched on this in the other points but. i want to call it out explicitly

things that i liked but are not worth any points:

this being Gawain's Big Break: i actually thought this fit VERY well thematically, however there were too many scenes where he was like. Suddenly Famous and Well-Regarded. the worst was at the bertilaks' castle, because in the poem they're not supposed to know about the beheading game. also this takes away the Essential Medieval Romance Trope of the knight attempting to hide their identity

gawain being just a lil bit slutty: not executed well. see the belt thing above.

the giants. they were cool but served no purpose. also why were they all hairless with boobs what was that about

the fact that gawain and lord bertilak did in fact kiss: i so desperately want to give points for this but it felt again like our modern view of sexuality speaking over the text. gawain should have given kisses freely and as part of the exchange of winnings but it felt like he Couldn't do that as the hero which was disappointing. it felt like a Big Deal when it isn't presented as such in the text.

things i am bestowing points for:

the winifred scene: unhinged and unnecessary subplot of helping a random maiden in the woods COMPLETE with a barb about how you can't ask for anything in return? talented. brilliant. incredible. amazing. showstopping. spectacular. i have no complaints about this addition.

the pronunciation of gawain's name: in college i had a professor who told us she pronounced it ga-wen when it was without the e and guh-wayne when it had the e. so props for matching that i guess

gawain's yellow cloak. i want one.

the camera shots were beautiful

the dialogue felt SO good. when it started in verse i was super excited and. throughout it really wasn't distracting? very good

costumes were not accurate even with my limited knowledge but they slapped so i don't care

I ALMOST FORGOT THE ACTING which shows how good it was. very very

tl:dr: i think overall the themes were there and it was very pretty, but i couldn't figure out WHY they changed the things they changed. also, it was largely incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't have intimate knowledge of the poem; i think that inaccessibility is a MAJOR flaw in any movie

[discotreque]

Disco 3.09: Terra Firma (Part 1)

That scene of [spoiler] flat on the ground getting just systematically pummeled by [spoiler]—punch after punch after punch after punch—was a perfect metaphor for what the themes this season have been doing to me emotionally. It’s been a pleasant, if occasionally heart-wrenching, surprise to feel something about this show besides “whoa, cool CGI!” or bone-chilling dread—but hopefully Season 4 won’t feel quite so much like it’s being aired directly at me.

So I went zero for two on last week’s predictions in the first goddamn scene, lmao. Turns out the post-TNG combadge on Vor’s early-TNG uniform was just a VFX mixup in the trailer, since he’s seen with the correct oval-backed delta in the actual episode—so that’s neither a meaningful plot element nor a cute inside joke about historical accuracy over the centuries, shame. Still got to see Gersha Phillips’s take on a spandex front-zip, though—that piping! *chef’s kiss*

I also thought Georgiou’s condition was “obviously” something engineered by David Cronenberg’s character (subtitles say his name is Kovich). Apparently he didn’t cause what’s happening to her; he’s just here to explain it. Now if only he’d explain what the fuck is up with his tie...

Speaking of the unfortunate Lt. Cmdr. Yor—he was from the fucking Kelvin timeline??? I wasn’t sure they’d ever acknowledge that in prime canon—and I don’t think the mainline Trek universe has ever been called “the prime universe” diagetically until now, either. (“Why not The Mongooses? That’s a good team name! The Fighting Mongooses.”) I especially love what a small connection it is: one guy crossed over from there, a long time ago, in what was apparently a one-off incident. (He also arrived a year before Lower Decks S1 is set—will we see an animated Vor on the Cerritos next year?)

Tilly: *aggressively eats lunch with you*

You can see how the hope and idealism of Discovery’s crew has softened Admiral Vance—his conversation with Captain Saru was so mentorly and almost tender that it gave me the terrible, terrible feeling that his character growth, and especially his soft “See you when you get back,” mean that he’s definitely going to be killed by Ossyra before they actually get back :(

Likewise, Georgiou’s goodbye scene with Saru and Tilly was a transparent attempt to manipulate my emotions, and guess what? I was successfully manipulated 😭😭😭

As a “computer person” myself, I found Adira forgetting to un-pause their descrambling program—then thinking, since it wasn’t running, it had broken—almost painfully relatable 😩 Also in that scene, Stamets sticks up for Gray’s presumable intentions in (sorry for this...) ghosting Adira (...it was right there!), and Adira says, correctly, “but he doesn’t get to decide what’s good for me”—and speaking of painfully relatable moments, I loved Stamets’s reaction there.

When you’re an adult of a certain age and you’re talking to someone a fair bit younger, you’re sometimes confronted with the uncomfortable reality that wisdom rarely comes from quantity of experience alone. To grow wise, you have to experience things that teach you important lessons, and you have to be willing to learn from those things. That can happen at 16 or 46, and realizing it’s more about luck than time when you’re closer to 46 than 16 can give you a little existential vertigo. It’s a lovely grace note in Stamets and Adira’s relationship (and Anthony and Blu’s performances!) that Paul doesn’t always have the high ground when it comes to emotional intelligence.

SPEAKING OF PERFORMANCES, just drive a truck full of Emmy statues up to the Martin-Green household and dump it out on the lawn. Every one of Prime Michael’s pangs of hurt and confusion and desperate affection for Phillipa comes through loud and clear—and Mirror Michael is just unhinged. Sonequa Martin-Green is one of the greatest acting talents any Star Trek production has ever had, she’s clearly having the time of her life sinking her teeth into this role, and it’s a genuine fucking privilege to watch her work every week. I can’t decide whether I want Evil Michael Burnham to have a SUPERLATIVELY AWESOME death scene or show up again down the line as a recurring villain—but this is Star Trek, so you never know, we could easily get both.

David Ajada shows up to collect a paycheque, ask Saru if there’s room in the A-plot yet for Book (not this week, sadly), and walk around looking like the goddamn Wikipedia entry for "compulsory heterosexuality" in yet another long black sweater from H&M’s 2019 "Gender? I don’t know her" collection. (Face it: there’s no man more attractive than a fictional one written by a lesbian.)

I guessed last week (privately; no points) that the barren planet we saw them on in the trailers was going to have some kind of Guardian of Forever situation, but I didn’t expect Paul Guilfoyle to be there, and I did not expect Carl—who, sort of like how Book has a Star Wars vibe, feels right out of Doctor Who.

(The only other headline in Carl’s newspaper that I could make out, by the way, besides the big one about the emperor, was about the USS Jenolan having gone missing—the ship that crashed into the Dyson Sphere with Scotty in its transporter buffer, as seen in TNG’s “Relics.” Easter egg? Or plot point???)

Michelle Yeoh has been so great in so many ways on this show, but she outdoes herself in this episode, in every single scene. Just like Michael Burnham, Georgiou was conceived as a one-season character—she wasn’t designed to have room to grow—and Season 2 didn’t really do anything to write her out of that corner. Season 3, though, has done a really compelling job of giving her interesting things to do and interesting ways to change.

And sending her back to the motherfucking Mirror Universe is possibly the most interesting way to show just how much she has changed, holy shit. (I guess Carl didn’t read about the Interdimensional Displacement Restrictions in that newspaper of his.)

There are two legitimate reasons for sending characters to an AU with extremely out-of-character doppelgangers: to highlight something about our regulars through contrast, and/or to let the actors vamp. The MU arc in Season 1 was grim and almost entirely joyless, and didn’t really shine a light on anything in the prime universe—it was just a generic escalation of stakes for our heroes. The Klingon War was the frying pan, and the MU was the fire.

This time we actually learn things about these people: Georgiou, of course, but also that the “real” Captain Killy has a lot more of Prime Tilly’s trademark nervous disposition than Prime Tilly pretending to be Captain Killy. (Too bad Killy’s destined to get blown up by Klingons with the ISS Disco in the Prime Universe.) It was also a ton of fun to see Rhys and Owo as deadly rivals, Rekha Sharma as Evil(...er?) Landry again, and Bryce throwing knives in the mess hall—at, please correct me if I’m wrong, a brunette Hannah Cheeseman as an un-augmented Airiam?????

Also, I don’t know why they got Mirror Stamets of all people (inventor of the evil spore drive—not, as far as we know, also an evil slam poet) for that dramatic recital at the evil ribbon dance, except I know exactly why: he’s played by Anthony Rapp, who’s a goddamn treasure. And Georgiou changed the timeline here—Mirror Stamets was still alive to get phasered by Mirror Lorca in S1—but I hope we come back to the MU in Season 5 and Stamets is somehow, inexplicably, still around—only to get killed in a hilariously blasé way again, because—again—he genuinely sucks at like, the logistics of betraying people.

Finally, those adorable little DOT-7 drones... but make them eeeeeeeevil.

Next week: We must leave behind all of that which destroys us. A mood for 2021 if ever I’ve heard one. (Plus, Mirror Saru grabs a dude—either Mirror Culber or someone else in medical red—and bodyslams said dude into the ceiling, which... is also a mood for 2021, tbh.)

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Catra’s refusal to admit mistakes

Something that seems to baffle much of the SPOP fandom is why Catra can’t just admit her mistakes and try to do better instead of continuing to dig herself a deeper and deeper hole. To be fair, the situation is very baffling. It’s complex. There are a ton of psychological issues in play, and when they interact things can get very messy. I’m going to do my best to explain Catra’s thought processes and hang ups and hopefully not write a fucking novel in the process. (But if you do want a novel that analyzes these concepts in a lot of depth, go check out my fanfic Demons. Shameless self-promotion, whaaaaat?)

I have already gone into how Catra’s external locus of control comes into play, so I’m not going to break it down in as much detail here. To sum it up, though, Catra has an internalized belief that she can’t really control anything and isn’t responsible for her behavior since it’s not her fault she was put in a shitty situation in the first place. She doesn’t believe she had any choice but to be the villain. This is deeply rooted in her fearful and abusive upbringing where she had little to no control over what happened to her. A large part of that is how consequences didn’t match behavior, i.e. she wasn’t rewarded for being good and her punishments were overly harsh as well as inconsistent, affected by external factors.

There’s also the sunk cost fallacy to consider. That’s the idea that you have to get something out of your investments (of time, money, effort, etc.), even if the costs keep piling up. (In terms of money, think of people who gamble larger and larger sums of money out of determination to win back their initial bet.) For Catra, this fallacy has convinced her that if she changes course and gives up on her goals, then everything she suffered in the Horde and all the effort she put into moving up in the ranks would be for nothing. She thinks getting to the top and proving her worth/winning respect would be the ulitmate triumph. Of course, we see her struggle with disillusionment over this in season 4, which helps set the table for what we hope will be a redemption arc.

These are only two examples of the ways Catra’s abusive upbringing affected her ability to admit her mistakes. The effects of abuse (especially in one’s childhood) are pervasive, affecting your thought processes and perception of the world in a million little ways that are hard to undo. I’m going to dig deeper now into some of the other reasons Catra struggles with this. They include an authoritarian environment, scapegoating, toxic leadership, poor behavioral modelling, an exaggerated fear of punishment, and the resentment of injustice.

(Please note: in this meta I’m not trying to make excuses for Catra and say she should not have to accept responsibility for her mistakes because she was abused. My aim here is to explain why it’s so difficult for her to shoulder blame in hopes that people will better understand her.)

Also under the cut, I’m going to finish this meta by examining how Angella and Glimmer are foils to Shadow Weaver and Catra, how Glimmer had a better example set for her and has now set an example for Catra.

Authoritarianism, injustice, and fear

It’s important to understand that Catra was raised to believe that apologizing or changing course makes someone a weak person or, worse, a bad leader. As Adora says, displays of weakness are strongly discouraged in the Horde. And in an authoritarian, militarized environment like the Horde, admitting mistakes is seen as a sign of weakness. You will very rarely, if ever, see authority figures admit they were wrong, let alone try to make amends for it. And since rank/pecking order is so important in these environments, that behavior filters down because no one wants to be at the bottom.

Fact is, no one who was raised in the Horde is good at admitting they were wrong (except maybe Scorpia, but she’s Scorpia). Even Adora is bad at this. She takes on responsibility for everything and blames herself when things go wrong, but that self-flaggellating catastrophizing is not the same as critically evaluating one’s actions and their effects on other people. That in particular is something she struggles with.

This may be a problem in the Horde at large, but it’s even harder for Catra to admit her mistakes because she has been blamed for a lot of things unjustly, as well as bullied by her peers and abused by her superiors. Accepting blame for anything feels unfair because she has already suffered the consequences of many things she did not do. In her mind, hasn’t the world punished her enough already without humiliating her over the mistakes she has made? Her defensiveness makes sense, in this regard.

Not only do abuse survivors tend to be defensive and angry at the world for the unfair lot it gave us, we have a very hard time being vulnerable with anyone. Because what if they hurt us too? Admitting mistakes and accepting their consequences puts you in a very vulnerable position, and when you are used to being punished unnecessarily harshly and/or undeservingly, submitting yourself to someone else’s judgment is terrifying. These experiences (especially when they occur at a young age) wire people a certain way, make you constantly afraid even when there is no need.

Toxic leadership and poor behavioral modelling

Returning to the environment factor, where do you think Catra learned this behavior of shirking responsibility for her actions? Fact is, Catra never had anyone model to her how to say, “I was wrong, I’m sorry, and I will try to fix it.” Militarized environment or not, Shadow Weaver and Hordak aren’t the type of people who are willing to admit their own mistakes and failures. They come up with excuses or pass the blame off to other people, usually Catra. Whenever something goes wrong, Hordak blames it on Catra and all her “failings.” Whenever Adora disappointed, Shadow Weaver assumed it was because Catra was holding her back. Catra is their scapegoat. They do not apologize to her, acknowledge any harm they’ve done to her, or make any attempt to fix it.

This is especially true of Shadow Weaver, who raised Catra and was the main adult in her life throughout her childhood. Even when confronted with the damage she has done to Catra, she refuses to accept responsibility or acknowledge any wrongdoing. We have seen this in literally every season in which they interact. Catra is rightfully salty about her unjust treatment but Shadow Weaver brushes off her anger, making excuses or sidestepping the accusations.

In 1x10, Catra throws Shadow Weaver a bit of shade while comforting her after Hordak gives her a scathing lecture. Shadow Weaver immediately deflects with an insult before acknowledging her own behavior but not its detrimental effects or her responsibility for it.

Catra: Don’t worry about that thing with Hordak. I've got loads of experience being yelled at. Mostly by you, actually. You get used to it.

SW: I will not get used to mediocrity like you, and I certainly don’t need your pity! ...I was hard on you, I won't deny it, and I won't apologize. I just wanted to prepare you for the world. I wanted you to be strong.

In 2x06, Catra flat out confronts her about it, and she offers a justification for her behavior, still refusing to show any remorse. When Catra persists, she sidesteps it by responding to another part of her outburst.

Catra: Why did you treat me the way you did? Why was I never good enough for you? Really, I wanna know.

SW: Because you remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me, either. I wasn’t born to power like Adora and... others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?

Catra: I was a child when you took me in! What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me? I am nothing like you! You are old, and bitter, and weak!

SW: Ah, but you are like me. And just like me, you’re losing your position with Hordak, I can see that even from my cell.

In 3x04, Catra has all but lost hope, throwing shade and heavy accusations at Shadow Weaver. But she does make one last desperate plea for acknowledgment of the harm done to her, right before she’s hit by the crushing realization that she has once again been pushed aside for Adora. Here, Shadow Weaver doesn’t even react to the emotional content of Catra’s statement.

SW: Catra, there’s no need for us to be enemies. I can help you. I can offer you a way out.

Catra: So, what? You’re on the side of good now? You made me this way, and you get to be the good guy? Do you know what happened to me after you escaped? Do you even care? You couldn’t wait to get away from here, from me! ...But you came back for Adora.

SW: I came back to stop Hordak. I will make sure he’s destroyed. Don’t make me destroy you too.

Saying she came back to stop Hordak is sort of an excuse, but Shadow Weaver doesn’t say it like she’s trying to appeal to Catra, unlike the two earlier conversations. Once Catra rejects her offer (which we know is disengenuous, to boot) she doesn’t even bother pretending to care. Catra’s resisting her manipulation and is no longer someone she can use, so why bother?

Notably, this is right before Catra learns about the dangers of the portal (i.e. that she made a mistake when she resolved to open it) and tasers Entrapta for trying to stop her, then immediately doubles down on that mistake by sending her to Beast Island. She got one more example of refusing to acknowledge her mistakes or accept accountability right before she does it herself. The statement “Adora was right” definitely gets to her too, but she was already in an unhinged state after being tortured by Shadow Weaver, once again with no apologies. Just something to consider.

So, Catra came from this environment where she got blamed unfairly all the time yet never got any sign of remorse from the people who hurt her. As I alluded to above, in this kind of situation it’s really easy to slip into the mindset of “why should I apologize when no one ever apologized to me?” (Especially if you’ve been through a lot of forced apologies, which are always humiliating, but particularly so when you are being unfairly blamed.) This is not an easy cycle to break. When you have this constant sense of injustice weighing on you, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the world owes you something as payback and therefore you shouldn’t have to try to better yourself or move past it.

This also ties into Catra’s obsession with getting a win when she is someone who seems fated to always lose, no matter what she does. It’s not just about getting back at Adora, it’s about settling her score with an unjust universe that has always given her the short end of the stick. It’s pride and indignation and pain all mixed up in one toxic soup that pollutes the minds of the abused, and it is not easy to get over. Watching Catra hopefully start to do that in the final 13 episodes is going to be incredibly cathartic.

Glimmer and Angella as foils and examples

Full disclosure, I am writing this meta partly in response to people shitting on Catra and acting like Glimmer is so much better than her after I made a gifset contrasting their reactions to realizing their mistakes. So, I want to finish by comparing all of these observations about Catra’s upbringing with Glimmer’s upbringing. Angella is by no means a perfect parent, but she loves her daughter and tries to do what’s best for her. Most relevant to this discussion, she’s willing to admit her mistakes or change her mind when presented with new information.

For instance, Angella flips at Glimmer over the invasion by the Horde soldier in 1x03, but once she learns said soldier is She-Ra she listens and puts faith in Glimmer’s judgment, despite her misgivings. In 1x10 (in a great parallel scene to the Catra/SW one mentioned above), Angella surprises Glimmer by caring more about her well-being than her mistakes, and she admits some of her own: she ordered the battle that got Micah ‘killed’, and she gave up on the first alliance. She literally says, “I am the one who failed.” And in 3x06, she sacrifices herself in an attempt to make up for all the times she failed to act and protect people she loves.

Angella has enough humility to admit her own flaws and consider other viewpoints, and she’s not afraid to change her mind or say she’s sorry. That set a much better example for Glimmer growing up than Shadow Weaver did for Catra and Adora. And now, Glimmer has set an example for Catra. When Catra is at her lowest in 4x13, drowning in her mistakes and self-hatred and wanting to die, Glimmer shows her that she too can change course and try to correct her mistakes.

Like, did you all see the look on Catra’s face when Glimmer says she can’t use the weapon and needs to try and stop it? When Glimmer gets up Catra follows her, because this is such a compelling sight to her, something she’s never seen before. It was almost like she was thinking, “Wait, you can do that? You don’t have to double down on your mistakes?”

This is something Catra has to see, not only for its novelty but because it could give her guidance, and hope. If Glimmer can change course and atone, maybe she can too.

[bleachanimefan1]

Oblitus Ch.25

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

42 days left until Extermination...

"Hello, Charlotte," Charlie's ex boyfriend said, as he stood in front of the group as they walked inside the hotel's lobby. 

"S-Seviathian?" Charlie questioned still in shock to see him. "Why are you here?"

 Seviathan advanced closer only to be stopped by Vaggie, who continued pointing her spear at him. "I saw the radio demon's little show, as did everybody." He answered. "You're still doing this ridiculous redemption nonsense?" 

Charlie frowned, looking at him. "It's not nonsense! I believe that it can really happen!" and pointed at Niffty. "She proves it!"

"One sinner is not enough to prove anything,"

"Well, how about these two!?" The princess gestured towards Angel and Husk. "They're still a work in progress but they're getting there! Pretty soon they'll be redeemed like Niffty!" Seviathan laughed.

"I see that you haven't changed a bit," Charlie said with arms crossed. "You're still the same egotistical, pompous jerk!"

Seviathan stopped as he tried to catch his breath. He smiled. "And your still the same sweet, naive, daddy's little apple," However, the prince paused for a moment, thinking about something then he looked back towards Charlie.  "Charlie, please, come back to me. I'm sorry-" 

 "Don't!" Charlie immediately cut the prince off. She glared as she narrowed her eyes at Seviathian. "You made it perfectly clear that you never wanted to be with me." She hissed. "Even your sister said so and she doesn't even like me. Besides, I'm already with someone." Her eyes began to grow into slits, growling. "Now, I want you to leave." Seviathan down and picked up the bouquet of flowers holding it out towards her. 

 "At the very least think it over-" Charlie grabbed them from him and was now pushing the prince out of the lobby then shoved him out the door.

"It's over, Seviathan." She replied then slammed the door hard right in his face.

40 days left until Extermination...

Two days have passed since the incident with Niffy's and Charlie's ex. In the bathroom, Anna was standing in front of the mirror brushing her teeth. However, a strange pain made her stop. She looked into the mirror and opened her mouth only for a tooth to fall out as it landed into the sink. Her eyes widened in shock as she covered her mouth then looked back into the mirror. In place of one of her tooth was a sharp razor like tooth like most demons she had seen. Great, now she's losing her teeth! What more is she going to lose?! 

Anna sighed and walked out of the bathroom heading down to the lobby seeing Charlie and Vaggie. Maybe it was just her imagination, but Anna had noticed that Charlie has been acting strangely, well stranger than normally.

"Uh, hun? I thought you were going to throw those flowers away?" Vaggie asked. Right in the lobby, there was the bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase that was placed on a stand.

 "Well, I thought they would help liven up the room a little!" Charlie explained. She had a strange look in her eyes.  "It was very thoughtful of Seviathan to do. I'll have to thank him later. Better yet, I'll call him now, and met him in person!"

Soon after, Alastor, Baxter and Niffty walked over towards the group. 

"How's it going ladies!" Alastor greeted them. 

"Okay, I guess?" Anna answered unsure. 

"What do you mean?" Niffty asked.

Anna glanced over at the princess seeing her now humming as Veggie tried to talk to her to get her attention, but it wasn't working. Anna whispered gesturing over to the princess.

"Charlie's freaking me out. She's acting weird, well weirder than she usually is! She's ignoring Vaggie!"

Niffty, Baxter and Alastor looked over to the two, confirming what Anna had just told them. Baxter walked over to the the two 

"Uh, may I see those flowers?" He asked. Charlie smiled taking the bouquet out showing it to the scientist. 

"I'd love to! Don't you think it was very sweet of Seviathan to do?!" Baxter carefully looked at the flowers, examining them.

"These roses are laced with an aphrodisiac." He replied.

"What?!" Everyone exclaimed. 

"It defiantly explains why she is acting like this." Alastor replied, laughing, a little amused.

"This isn't funny!" the moth demon shouted angrily

"She must have inhaled some of it." Baxter answered. 

"Well, can't you come up with an antidote?!" Vaggie shouted.

"I can but it'll take some time. In the meantime, keep her locked up in her room, for everyone's safety." Baxter replied.

"I'll take her to her room." Alastor said.

"I'm coming too."

"Oh, Vagatha, do you trust me so little?" Alastor teased, batting his eyes over-dramatically.

"Yes," Vaggie replied.

As the two carried Charlie up to her room, the princess started to get a little handsy with Alastor, much to his displeasure. As she hate to admit it, Vaggie was enjoying the show, watching the two, especially seeing Alastor trying to keep the princess hands from touching him. As he plopped her on the bed, Charlie was trying to pull on the belt of Alastor's pants trying to get it off. Alastor pushed them away. Veggie laughed. Alastor turned to her with a strained grin on his face.

"Well, I'm glad your enjoying the show. How about a little help if don't mind?!" 

"OOh, Alastor.~"

The two tensed as they heard Charlie moaned and turned back to see Charlie began to slowly strip out of of her clothes revealing a black laced bra and underwear. Alastor stood in place with a frozen smile on his face. Vaggie was now laughing on the floor while she gripped the frame of the door.

"That's it! I'm out!" Alastor shouted, quickly running out of the room. 

"Okay, I'll watch over her until Baxter comes up with an antidote." Vaggie called out.

Soon after, the scientist had managed to make the antidote and gave it to Charlie. As it began to take effect, everyone gathered around, waiting.

Charlie blinked, confused, looking around. "What happened?"

"Your ex basically gave you an lust induced bouquet trying to make you fall back in love with him." Anna explained.

Charlie blinked in shock trying to process what she had heard.  She couldn't believe that her ex would stoop this low. "Not cool." 

"Well, at least we got it fixed before you did any serious damage," Baxter said. 

Vaggie laughed. "Yeah, like trying to have sex with the radio demon." Anna's eyes widen while Alastor narrowed his eyes and glared dangerously at the moth demon.

Charlie eyes widened looking horrified at Alastor. "I did what?!" She exclaimed. "Al, I'm so sorry! You know that I would never to anything like that, especially touch you without your permission!"

"Just keep six feet away from me." Alastor replied. 

In Lucifer's office, the fallen angel was sitting up in the bed as he began to straighten his shirt and was now fixing his tie. Lilith was lying beside him. He turned to her with a lustful look in his eyes while she did the same. Lilith stretched getting more comfortable as the sheets fell off her revealing herself. She rolled and laid on her side.

"Luci, last night, you were...unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon, you frightened me." She smiled seductively. "Do it again." Lucifer wanted so much to take of his clothes and pounce on the bed and take her again, right then and there, his phone ringed.

"I'd love to, but, duty calls." He replied. He opened his phone thinking that it was one of his business partners only to see a photo of Niffty that Charlie had sent to him with the rest above it saying in big hold letters and rainbow colors "IT WORKS! WE DID IT!"

Lucifer frowned. This was not good, not good at all. Lilith leaned over him resting her chin on his shoulder. 

"It that from Charlotte?" She asked as she smiled.

"Yes, apparently her silly redemption plan worked. One of her clients has redeemed themselves."

"That's...wonderful? But, you don't look happy." Lilith answered seeing her husband's frown. "Our daughter's finally found her place and following her dreams." 

"Of course I'm not! She's meddling in things she shouldn't! It's a matter of time before HE finds out, if he hadn't already! Then we're all going to be in great danger!" Then Anna appeared in the fallen angel's mind as he grew angrier. This was all her fault!

Lucifer began to leave.

"Where are you going, darling?" Lilith called out.

"I'm going to handle this. Just get some rest." 

"Okay, just don't do anything drastic." Lilith replied.

Not too far off in the city, there was a big office building that said I.M.P. Inside were three imps, two males and one female, and a girl hellhound who was messing and scrolling through her phone.

An imp with with long curved horns, called Blitzo, saw a white limo pull into the parking lot, parking it, and Lucifer stepped out.

"Holy shit! It's the king!" He exclaimed. "Everyone don't fuck this up!"

"The king?" the imp with hair, known as Moxie, pondered, confused. "Why is he here?"

"Who fucking cares?" The hellhound, who was called loona, answered still looking at her phone, leaning back in the chair.

"Hello boys!" Lucifer called out walking into the office.

"What brings you I.M.P.?" The imp known as Millie, asked.

"I have a job for you guys. I would like to hire your services," Lucifer said.

Blitzo slammed his hands on the desk. "Done!" He shouted.  "So who's the loser that we have to kill?"

Lucifer pulled out a photo of Anna in his coat pocket showing it to them. "This one, here," he said. "She is staying at my daughter's hotel."

"I hate to break to ya. But, we only kill living clients from the living world, not some random sinner." Blitzo answered.

Lucifer laughed. "That is where you are wrong. She is still alive." 

"What?" All four exclaimed.

"Are you kidding me? That bitch won't last five seconds!" Blitzo declared.

Lucifer made a wicked smile. "So, i assume that we have an agreement, hmm?"

 "It's a done deal!" Blitzo answered shaking the king's hand. "Now about our payment?"

 "Here you go," Lucifer dropped a wad of cash into the imp's hands. "You'll get the other half once you finished the job. "

[iredreamer]

Hey just wondering if you could please analyze the reunion scene? I know there is a lot to unpack in that scene. Mainly in distance/consent how AL keeps her distance from AW at first and it’s almost as if AW is holding her breath until AL says she missed her. Then AW breathes a sigh of almost relief & moves closer. Almost taking it as consent to touch AL for the 1st time. It almost parallels their first kiss in regards to consent. Except it’s AW who is waiting for consent from AL. Thank you!

anonymous asked: Hiya, did you already talk about the scene in 01x08, on the top of the hill? I wanted to know your thoughts, especially when Anne says “don’t hurt me”, because this gave me FEELS OH MY

I already wrote something about the beginning of the reunion scene, when Ann Walker arrives, and how I think Anne Lister thought she was having some kind of heavenly vision when she saw her beautiful future wife right there with her. 

Now about the whole scene, as you said anon1 there’s a lot A LOT to unpack and the scene is very very long (something I love about GJ is that it has very long scenes by the way) so I’m gonna mainly focus on what you pointed out (the distance/consent thing), the “don’t hurt me” moment and some moments that are my favorites (while I was writing this whole thing I realized that basically every single moment is my favorite so lol).

1. I love how AW walks closer to AL. I love it, I love it because we see how it is Ann Walker this time that “controls” the situation, she’s not waiting for AL to make a move, and she’s not expecting her to because she knows it’s up to her now to show AL that she wants her and loves her. So, she takes those steps forward and only stops because she sees Anne taking a couple of steps back.

AL can’t let AW come closer. At this point Anne Lister wants a serious commitment and that’s why she keeps her distance, she takes that step back to protect herself from disappointment. It’s a reflex. She’s scared that if she lets Ann come close without having talked things through and without knowing, for sure this time, if Ann has finally made up her mind about their union, they’re just gonna fall back to what they had before. And as much as she wants Ann (and that’s what makes her take that step back, she has to take that step back because: ”Whenever I see the girl, she always manages to unhinge me”) she can’t allow herself to go back to that kind of relationship. Ann Walker understands this and she stops right away, giving AL the space she needs.

2. Ann talking about her sister & the letter. – “I don’t think she’s very happily married, Elizabeth. I think she’s frightened of him. I don’t think he’s very nice. I think he destroyed the letter, and I didn’t think this, not at the time, but I think he just married her for her money, and I think that she’s miserable.” – Oh god! AW is talking about her sister but really she’s just talking about herself. She’s explaining (in her usual quite confused and rushed way) what she realized during those months apart. I love AL’s confused face while AW is talking, I love how she’s trying to make sense of why AW is talking about her sister lol

But what AW is really saying to AL is: “I saw what my life would be like without you and I don’t want it. I don’t want to be miserable like my sister, I don’t want to marry a man because that’s what everyone wants, I don’t want to have children and be a mother. I don’t want all those things that I thought were ‘right’, because they’re not right for me.” And this is, finally, Ann saying what she doesn’t want (and, later in the scene, she will also say what is it that she wants – “You know, if you asked me to marry you again, I wouldn’t say no.” – ).

3. – “A good friendship is better than a marriage” – I just wanna say… POOR ANNE LISTER. Like, I love AW because she just rumbles in the wrong order sometimes, meaning that she doesn’t explain why she says some things, she just says them, and I love her for this because it says a lot about how eager she is to get to the point of things. But AL doesn’t have the whole picture so, she does need an explanation to actually get the meaning of what AW is trying to say. AW’s way of explaining things is just starting to talk about them in medias res without context and poor AL is always left kinda confused. After that line AL is thinking the worst, she’s like “Oh fuck no, not again, I don’t want to hear this, I can’t, I’m gonna cry.” Is AW saying that she thinks a friendship with AL is better than a marriage with AL? Or is she saying that what everyone will think is a “good friendship” with AL is better than a marriage with a man? Of course we know it’s the second one.

4. – “Are you alright?” – This little line, this line right here is so important. We’ve seen before other people (Booth and Marian) ask Anne Lister if she’s alright, and her answer has always been – “I’m always alright” – She lies to not show how vulnerable and hurt she can be. With AW she doesn’t lie, with AW she doesn’t hide. She can’t. She says the truth, she says what happened, she shows AW that she’s not alright (this is also a parallel to episode 3, when AW shows the letter to AL and asks her “Are you alright?” and AL doesn’t say she is. Again, she just can’t lie to AW). This is so important because a) it shows us that Ann Walker can read Anne Lister so well, she knows that AL is not as strong as she wants to appear, and b) Anne Lister feels safe enough to be vulnerable in front of Ann.

5. – “We’re not alive are we? If we’re not taking the odd risk, now and again.” – “No. No, we’re not” – We see Ann Walker take a few steps forward. She tries to get closer to Anne. What I love about this is how sweet and reassuring AW looks. Her smile, the sweetness in her voice, how she takes a couple of steps forward basically saying “I’m here. I’m taking the odd risk right now. I want to be here, I’m happy to be here, with you, and I’m trying to show you how much I love you.” Every time she gets closer she tries to reassure AL more and more, and every step forward is like a declaration of love.

AW looks relaxed and calm but, what is going through her mind? Is Anne gonna be mad? Does Anne still want her after all that happened? Has she missed her? Did Anne think about her during the time they spent apart? Does Anne still want to marry her? I imagine this is what is going through her mind. And this is why she is holding her breath, she is scared, she is waiting for Anne to just say something or do something that can answer all the questions and doubts she has. She has made her move, now it’s Anne Lister’s turn.

And finally Anne shows her that nothing has changed. – “Oh God, I’ve missed you.” – She finally says it. She can’t keep it in anymore. She looks at AW, she sees the gondola brooch there, pinned on Ann’s dress like always, and she finally says what she feels and how much she missed her. And that’s all AW needs to take those last steps forward, to touch Anne, take her hand, feel her close. She has missed her too. So much. And the deep breath of relief Ann lets out before saying – “Have you?” – Oh god…it breaks me because it’s in that moment that you realize that Ann Walker had been feeling nervous and unsure for their whole exchange but kept it all in trying not to show it. I think she learned from AL how to be reassuring and supportive even when that’s not what she herself is feeling. At this point I’m convinced that they wanted to kiss. Look at this nice zoom in.

They’re doing a little dance and I love it. Ann Walker looks at Anne’s lips and then waits, as always, for Anne to initiate the kiss. Anne Lister starts to pull Ann closer, but then she stops. There are still too many things that need answers. But she can’t hold back and so she kisses her hand.

6. The parallel with the chaumiere scene is probably my second favorite parallel (my absolute favorite is the shot of AW entering Shibden in episode 8 just like AL did in episode 1). This time, as you said, is AW who takes Anne’s hand but it’s still Anne that initiates a more intimate contact. I love how it parallels perfectly to the chaumiere scene but at the same time I love how different it is. Anne is not as delicate and gentle, she presses her lips firmly on the back of Ann’s hand, and she lingers there, feeling her skin. She turns Ann’s hand almost as a reflex, like she’s done that gesture millions of times before. And this time it’s not just a way to show AW that she’s safe, like it was in the chaumiere scene, this time it’s about Anne Lister’s desperate need of feeling Ann Walker closer.

** I’m not gonna talk about AL seeing the scar and that part of the plot because I did not like the choice they made with AW and her suicide attempt. And I’ve already said what I think about that and analyzed Ann Walker’s “I just couldn’t stand it anymore”. **

7. – “I don’t think one hour passed where I didn’t think of you.” – And this right here is the Anne Lister’s “I love you”. I’m convinced. That line for me was the equivalent of an “I love you”. The way Anne Lister takes her time before saying it, the way she makes sure to have Ann Walker’s attention with the “Do you know?”, the way she kinda prepares herself before saying it, taking a step back but not letting go of Ann’s hand, getting her hair out of her face. 

She even wets her lips before speaking, this is not easy for her, showing her feelings, especially when nothing final has been said yet. But she’s gonna take the risk. – “I don’t think one hour passed where I didn’t think of you. I tried not to, but every time I closed my eyes, there you were.” –

• And then we have the Queen of Denmark scene. And I love how Ann looks at her beautiful future wife in that very special and personal way full of love, affection, admiration and devotion.

• Special mention to the “Perhaps I could come with you”. This is AW’s way of saying little by little what she wants. She started with the cryptic “A good friendship is better than a marriage” then moved to “Perhaps I could come with you” and finally “If you asked me to marry you again, I wouldn’t say no” + “I love you” at the end. And this kinda reminds me of their last scene in episode two, where AW says all those little things (“I’d love to paint you” – “I’ll miss you” – “I wish you could come with us”) to let AL know that she does have feelings for her. 

8. – “If you asked me to marry you again, I wouldn’t say no” – (by the way I love how this line is a parallel to Vere’s – “Donald’s asked me to marry him. I shan’t say no.” – of episode one)… Well, well, well. AW takes a step forward while saying this line, and then it’s Anne Lister who starts to get closer and closer, almost impossibly closer to AW.

– “But would you say yes?” – “Yes.” – It’s a sort of dance, but it also looks like a “challenge” from AL’s part. – “Would you? And stick to it, and mean it?” – AL wants everything and she asks AW if she is ready for everything. And AW doesn’t move, not even a little bit, her steadiness in stance reflects her firmness in the decision she’s making. – “Yes” – She wants to marry Anne Lister and she’s sure about it and her posture, her smile, her calm, the peacefulness she’s radiating reflect that.

Ann Walker is ready, and Anne Lister just needed a simple answer, she just needed to hear that “Yes”. There’s no need for anything else. They love each other, they want each other. – “Take the sacrament with me, in church and mean that too.” – I love how Ann Walker smiles at this point, she knows she will do all that, take the sacrament and everything, she could keep saying “Yes” forever. This is the very first time AW is completely sure about something and she’ll do anything to show AL how sure she is about her decision. She finally touches Anne’s face, reassuring her with her gestures as well and not just with words. And, you know, I think she really can’t stay away from Anne for any longer, she has her right there in front of her and she just wants to have her close.

This is the sweetest, most gentle thing I’ve ever seen. This time is Anne Lister the one who needs comfort and reassurance, and Ann knows it. At the end Ann Walker says the one thing that’s the answer to all the other questions and doubts that AL might have…

9. – “I love you, Anne. I’m in love with you. I always have been” – I love how many times Ann Walker says she loves Anne Lister during the show, I love the fact that she never has doubts about it and I love the fact that she’s always been in love with Anne. It’s so romantic. My heart is full when I watch this scene and when I hear Ann Walker say that she’s always been in love with Anne Lister, since the first time she saw her. YES. YES. That is the kind of content I want. And Anne’s smile after this line!!! Oh GOD! She’s just so happy. Someone who truly loves her is all she ever wanted – “I thoroughly intend to spend my evening hour with someone who loves me, someone who is there all of the time, to share everything with” – 

10. – “Don’t hurt me” – Oh, here we are. What can I say? Anne Lister’s journey to happiness is through pain, and she herself told us so in episode 3: – “Sometimes, if we want to be happy, we have to risk getting hurt.” – And she did get hurt. We’re constantly watching her getting hurt, physically and emotionally, especially during the last three episodes. She gets beaten up, AW refuses her again and again (before finally saying yes), Mariana makes her relive one of the hardest moments of her past and she’s on the verge of loosing Shibden. When she’s on that hill, with AW, she’s been hurt in every way possible. We see her being vulnerable maybe for the first time, and I guess this is also given from the fact that she’s been through so much and doesn’t have the strength anymore to even try to hide it (“I’m not as strong as you think”). What she asks Ann, to not hurt her, is very powerful and it’s another declaration of love. It means that Ann Walker has the power to hurt her, it means that Ann Walker’s mood, behaviour, decisions affect Anne Lister as well. And I love the little smile of Ann when AL says “Well I am obviously, but…” I love it because it’s clear that AW already knows that AL is not as strong as she wants others to believe.

Ann Walker wipes away AL’s single tear (oh how the roles are reversed) and then they kiss. And, oh god, that kiss is just perfect. Ann Walker looking at Anne’s lips and waiting for her to make the first move, Anne Lister opening her eyes because she can’t believe that Ann is finally there, real in front of her. She opens her eyes because she doesn’t have to close them anymore to see her, Ann Walker is real, she’s kissing her right in that moment, she said “yes” and she’s gonna be her wife.

There’s one specific thing that I love about this kiss and I don’t know if I’ll be good at explaining it but I’m gonna try. Ann Walker almost doesn’t move, she’s there and she’s letting AL taking control of the situation, she’s letting AL set the pace. I know that it’s their dynamic but I feel like here, in this specific moment, Anne Walker acts like that because she knows AL needs her more than ever before. It’s her way of saying “I’m here Anne, and I’m real, and I mean everything I just said, kiss me, I am yours”.

Anyway, this whole scene is just perfect. I love how they’re almost doing a dance the whole time, they’re dancing towards each other, one getting closer, the other stepping back, the other getting closer again and then finally both of them getting closer to each other like two magnets.

I’m sure there are many more things and details that I didn’t mention and that could be interesting to analyze, but this is already super long, anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading it and sorry if it took me a little while to answer to you :)

this show

is

amazing

[kob131]

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBYcritics/comments/dl1jsm/cj_black0s_rewrite/

So who wants to see another shitty rewrite?

Okay, let's start with the big change of v6 first, Adam's ending. I'm scratching him dying here as I have bigger plans for him for Atlas. But what I change exactly is what occurs in his battle against Yang & Blake upon Yang entering the fray & how it would alter things.

Instead of Yang barely reacting to finally coming face to face with the man that ran through & broke her, there's an actual mental reaction here, but it's not fear...but absolute rage. Her fear of Adam is gone, but in its place is an inferno of hatred towards the man before her.

So Yang didn’t learn her lesson from her dad about controlling her anger and we don’t have the payoff for the numerous times Yangs temper fucked her over.

He broke the show IN THE EXACT SAME WAY he bitches the creators do...and this is suppose to be better. *slow claps*.

She no longer panics or fears the thought of him, but trembles at the thought of doing even worse to him than he committed to her & Blake, & with him here now & attacking Blake once again, Yang slips & goes full berserker on Adam.

So now Yang’s being sadistic. Out of fucking nowhere as she hasn’t even displayed this kind of behavior before this and the build up is about her being SCARED. So we have an OOC moment serving nothing for the character, in fact COMPRIMISING her character as Yang never showed this aspect of herself and it paints her in a negative light. For...what? ‘My self insert survives’? 

Cool, tell me about how Blake and Yang fight the patriarchy next since we’re doing cringy fanfiction bullshit.

But though she is fighting with incredible ferocity, speed & timing, she's not thinking or planning at all.

‘timing’

‘not thinking or planning at all.’

So CJ bitches the show retconned Aura by being technical about the word ‘passive’ and yet technically you need to THINK or PLAN to have good timing like that.

She's acting like a wild unhinged animal & both Adam & Blake notices this as Adam uses it to his advantage to slowly start tipping the fight in his favor as he blocks Yang's hits & sends the power right back to her.

Again, acting like the thing she was suppose to have GOTTEN OVER. In fact, worse because Yang never acted like an animal and now she is? When her build up was suppose to be about keeping her cool?

Hm, I believe the man you parrot Vexed Viewer has something for this. What was it...? Oh yeah- Stupid for the sake of the plot.

All the while, Blake is trying desperately to get Yang to stop & listen to her & calm down, but nothing gets through to Yang which eventually results in Blake barely managing to move Yang out of a fatal attack & then finally get through to her as she takes her hand & tells her to please stop & calm down as she doesn't want to lose anyone that she cares about, especially to Adam & that she'll always be here for Yang & will always have her back until the end no matter what & even starts crying.

Still fucking stupid while also being technically as shippy as the original fight so far. You know, that thing you screech about all the time.

Also why isn’t Blake helping Yang? All she did was try to calm Yang down and not try to fight with her? You never said that Yang was fighting in a way that prevented Blake from helping and she knows that Adam won’t stop so playing disruption to disable Adam is the logical choice.

And also- Why is Adam allowing this to happen? Critics bitch the villains do stupid shit and yet you CJ, someone who groups himself in with them, seem to be ignoring that. There was talking in the original but A. This would take more time than anything else in the fight to say and B. it was still bitched out.

Hearing & seeing this finally gets through to Yang as she sends a few shots at the feet of an approaching Adam & now with a clear mind, thanks Blake & tells her she'll always be there for her too from here on out. And from there the fight continues as it does in the show & the 2 win in the end.

So instead of the struggle coming from Adam’s own power and skill, along with displaying how far Yang had come from her last encounter with Adam by showing her more defensive style in the fight and ending with Adam’s own anger and rashness getting the better of him- We get something that you could uber pandering to Bumbleby shippers while proclaiming ‘POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!’.

Nice standards you have CJ ‘Hypocrite’ Black.

However, just when Adam's about to make that final struggle, Atlas personnel arrive on the scene(also on the Mech's location) to provide backup & arrest everyone. However upon seeing Adam, they all immediately panic & try to apprehend the dangerous terrorist but in their rush, provide Adam with a hostage & enough time to escape into the woods & later outside of Argus which is later swarmed by Grimm, better helping his escape. Now having been defeated twice (both in mission & combat) by Blake & her friends, Adam is utterly spouting with rage & hate...so much so that he's sensed by Cinder.

So Yang and Blake do nothing to stop him. Congrats *slow claps.*

Also, Adam is by your own admission spouting with rage and hate...THE SHIT GRIMM ARE ATTRACTED TO. How the FUCK are the Grimm of things helping him escape and not giving everyone a living trail to follow as they logically rush after him? What, did you ACTUALLY retcon the Grimm or just ignore it for your plot?

Also how the hell would Cinder sense him? She’d be in an airship and he’d be on the ground. Unless Adam just so happens to be seen out of all the shit on the ground by Cinder (while displaying CLEAR mental instability)- She’d miss him. 

Seeing the woman who pulled him into all this in the first place, Adam lashes out at Cinder. But with him being tired, without aura & injured, the maiden easily swats him away. She brings up how the 2 are planning on following Ruby to Atlas to kill her & this piques Adam's interest as he asks to accompany them as he explains he too wants to kill someone in RWBY & with him knowing a guy in Atlas who could help them make all their goals easier, it's a win-win.

So Adam just cares solely about Blake here. He’s perfectly fine with teaming up with a human that YOU BELIEVE he hates with a passion. 

Effectively, you MADE Adam the same thing you say he was turned into.

So stealing an airship from Argus & using Neo & Adam to act as soldiers delivering the dangerous criminal Adam Taurus to face justice in Atlas, the 3 make their way into the kingdom. As part of the plan, once Adam gets transferred to other soldiers, he quickly disposes of them & escapes as he then reveals their newest ally, leader of the WF Atlas branch...Banesaw.

Who immediately shoots him dead hearing about how he tried to blow up his own men and would be IMMENSELY disgusted with the man for his own personal vendetta endangering his cause...even though Adam wouldn’t care since you NEVER built him up as returning to the WF and the show definitively displayed that part of him was over now.

Also, how the fuck wouldn’t they just see through this shit?

With this loyal & powerful man of Adam Taurus who now leads the most dangerous branch of the WF on their side along with Watts & Tyrian eventually coming into contact with the Atlas branch & Cinder & deciding to work together, team CABN (pronounced Cain or Cabin) is ready...

Where Watts and Tyrian kill everyone because Cinder is a traitor out for her own ends (hence why she AVOIDED them in the actual show) and Adam’s long since dead because to think that a leader of the WF wouldn’t have heard about Haven is to make me believe he’s an idiot. 

Also can’t fit into Volume 7 because you can’t cut anything due to everything being important to the build up of the plot.

Also left out Watts and Tyrian out of the team name. You added them in despite not FITTING IN.

Also you didn’t build up Banesaw so by your standards with Blake’s parents and Illa, he’s a retcon.

Also if this branch is so dangerous why wasn’t THE HIGH LEADER OF THE WHITE FANG STATIONED THERE? You know, Sienna being stationed in Mistral would imply that’s the most fortified place there is for the WF to protect their leader?

Gee, it’s almost like CJ Black doesn’t CARE about good writing and is just pissy his fanfiction didn’t become real.

‘B-but this is from 9 months ago-’

And as previous posts about him will show- CJ hasn’t changed.

NO ONE doing these rewrites care about good writing. Because THAT’D require actually paying attention to the damn show thus seeing what stuff built up to. Not, you know, making up delusions about the show to fit their narrative.

Mark my words, his RWBY0 rewrite will tank and burn. 

[stevesnailbat]

for the first time: part two | steve harrington

summary: A series of events through Steve’s relationship with the love of his life.

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, jealousy, underage drinking

word count: 4.2K

a/n: READ PART ONE HERE, but here’s part two! Hope you all enjoy :)

She woke up in her bed next to an empty bottle of wine and a necklace that had been broken at the clasp when ripped off of her neck, presumably from her own doing. Her alarm clock was blaring and her mom knocked on her door loudly, telling her that she would be late if she didn’t get up now.

“Shit.” she mumbled under her breath as she stuffed the empty wine bottle deep into her closet after springing up from her bed.

As she ran around to get ready for school, Y/N desperately tried to remember what had happened the night before. When she eventually remembered, tears pricked her eyes as she tried to brush off the thought. She had caught Steve, who she thought was the love of her life, making out with and feeling up another girl, getting ready to take her clothes off.

They had gone to a party at Carol’s house and Steve got too drunk for his own good. She couldn’t keep track of him and eventually gave up, thinking he would just be hanging out with the boys, as usual. Turns out she was wrong and he was just looking for another girl to hook up with, and he had the audacity to do it when she was there. He had become distant a few weeks back, but she brushed it off as him being in a bad mood because of his dad pressuring him to do something after high school ended in a few months.

She was a sobbing mess in the corner of Carol’s living room afterwards and Steve nor anybody else there even said anything to her. Although she was in a crowded room filled with people, she had never felt so alone in her life. It seemed as though nobody cared about her when she wasn’t with Steve now, since her reputation had been slightly tainted. Nancy and Jonathan saw her curled up on the couch with tear stained cheeks and a bottle of wine on their way out. They dragged her out of the party and helped her get home, but couldn’t stay to help her through the night. That was when she finished the bottle and ripped the necklace off her neck.

The worst part about the whole situation was that everyone would already know about it at school, since it happened at a party. So, she had to show up to school and be talked about all day. They were going to talk if she wasn’t there or not, so she decided she would show up and be strong. She would try to hold herself together and not show everyone how her heart was breaking more and more every second.

Y/N quickly finished getting ready and grabbed her backpack before rushing downstairs. She said a short goodbye to her parents at the kitchen table before running out the door, for the sake of them not seeing her puffy, tired eyes. She drove to school in record time, making it there 5 minutes before classes started. That gave her enough time to go straight to her first period of the day, English, without having to talk to anybody on the way. Plenty of people stared and whispered as she passed quickly, but she ignored them all with her typical fake confidence.

English, chemistry, calculus and biology seemed to take an eternity to pass, but she made it through without talking to anybody about the situation. She had made it to lunch without seeing Steve, too. She knew his schedule by heart, so she avoided the halls he took and the hall by his locker at all costs. But, she knew lunch would be the time that could ruin everything. Nancy and Jonathan found her as she was getting her lunch from her locker, remorseful looks spread across their faces.

“How are you feeling?” Nancy questioned as the sat down in the lunch room.

“I’m fine. Just a little hungover, that’s all. I did finish that bottle I was clinging to when I got home.” Y/N chuckled, trying to joke to ease the awkward situation.

Jonathan looked at her with a furrowed brow before pointing at her neck curiously. “What happened?” he implored.

She reached to her neck and realized the tenderness of it when her fingers grazed where her necklace once rested. “I was mad...So I broke my necklace that he gave me a while ago. I don’t want to wear his name around my neck if he can’t even respect me enough to leave me instead of cheating.” she says smugly and the two nod, agreeing which her justification.

“He really is an idiot. Especially to do something so stupid that would make you, his dream girl, leave him. I never thought he would break your heart.” Nancy says curtly, shaking her head in disapproval.

After that, they sit in silence for a while, eating their lunches. Y/N didn’t really know what to say in reply to Nancy, since she implied that she thought she would be the one to break Steve’s heart. Lunch ended soon after and she was off to her locker alone for the first time all day. She had avoided stopping there by keeping her books with her, but it was getting too heavy. To her dismay, the person she least wanted to see was waiting for her there.

Steve looked at her with hurt and some hope left in his eyes but was met with her empty and broken eyes when he looked at her. She looked done with the conversation before it even started. He stood to the side of her locker as she did her combination and opened it. The whole time she stood there, she ignored him.

“Y/N-“ Steve started but was cut off when she put her hand up in annoyance.

“I don’t want to hear it, Steve. I don’t want to hear excuses. I get it. You were bored with me and wanted something different. But did you really have to do it at a party that I was also at and before breaking up with me? That’s fucking low, asshole.” she says spitefully, her words dripping with hatred as she stares up at him sharply.

He wanted to explain everything, how he was too drunk to realize that it wasn’t her, how she kissed him first and called him the same nickname Y/N called him, how she pulled him into that bedroom. He didn’t even remember seeing her after getting to the party, let alone seeing her come into the room they were in. But, Steve knew she was hurt and there wouldn’t be anything that he could say to help that hurt. She wouldn’t believe him if he said it wasn’t his fault, she was too far gone at that point.

His eyes fall to her neck to see his necklace missing and a large scraping bruise along both sides of it. She had said to him once that she wouldn’t take it off as long as he still loved her, and Steve had promised her that would be forever. Obviously it didn’t seem like he loved her anymore to her, so she ripped it off with no remorse.

Even if she was coming off as strong-willed and confident in a hard situation, he could see right through it. She was hurting so much. He heard the way her voice cracked when she cut him off, he saw the remnants of smudged mascara underneath her eyes from last night, he saw her digging her nails into her palms, reminding herself to stay strong. He knew he had fucked up, he was at a loss for words.

“I’ll be over at seven tonight to drop anything I have of yours off. Leave what’s mine on the front porch. I won’t be talking to you when I come, Harrington.” she said strongly, keeping herself together surprisingly well despite feeling nauseous at the thought of letting go of everything that they had built together. With that, she walked away from him and slammed her locker shut, leaving him with his jaw unhinged, words left on the tip of his tongue that he would never get to say to her.

Seven rolls around and Steve hears Y/N pull into his driveway and get out of her car while he sits in the living room quietly. He wants to go to his porch so badly, but he can’t do it to her. She wasn’t holding herself together like she had been at school, and Steve could see that from the window when she came to the front porch. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, she had changed into sweats, and she didn’t care that her hair was a mess. It was like she was trying to make Steve’s heart break more than it already had, but she really didn’t know he was watching in the window.

She sets the box of Steve’s things on the welcome mat in front of the door, which included some sweatshirts, a pair of boxers, two t-shirts, a teddy bear, pictures that Jonathan had taken of them, the broken necklace, and a letter she wrote to him. Her letter to him was her closure, her way of telling him that he broke her heart and that she would try to move on, no matter how much she still loved him. Tears freely flow from her eyes as she looks over at the box next to the door he had left.

Her box was smaller, since it seemed she always stole his things instead of the other way around. In her box was a set of red lingerie she had worn for him at the beginning of the month for Valentine’s day, a pair of slippers she had left there because she hated walking on cold tile, the maroon turtleneck she had worn the night of their first time, some pictures of her and the two of them that he had taken poorly with his polaroid camera, and a letter to her. His letter to her explained what happened that night, how he deserved to get his heart broken by her, and how he would still love her, even if she did move on. Before she can become too upset, Y/N grabs her box hastily and moves back towards her car. On her way back, she sees five kids pull up on bikes through her teary eyes, the party.

“Y/N!” Max calls out from the yard where they sat their bikes down.

She wipes her tears away quickly and waves back at Max and the gang, putting on a fake smile. “Hi guys! I can’t stay, I have to go.” Y/N says in return and the group frowns almost in unison. “See you guys later!”

Dustin goes to say something but is cut off by the sound of her car door shutting and the engine starting up. The party is confused, but doesn’t question it until they get up to Steve’s front door, to be faced with the box labeled ‘Steve’ along the side. “Holy shit.” Dustin mumbles as the door swings open. Steve lets out a sigh when he sees the party at the door, but grabs the box and lets them into his house. He knew he would have to eventually tell them the story, so he might as well do it while they’re here.

Y/N pulled out of the driveway with teary eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t be around the party much after that last terrible interaction. Steve would tell them what happened, but she didn’t know if he would twist it to make her look bad or not. She drove home in somewhat of a daze, her sniffles being the only noise to fill the quiet air. She knew that somehow she would have to get over him, she couldn’t let him ruin her like this. She was going to seem unbothered by this in public, even if it broke her. She didn’t want him to see her weakness anymore, that side of her was closed off to him from now on.

—

It had been a month since Y/N and Steve had broken up and neither of them had really moved on. Steve was single and not looking to find anyone new, but Y/N had set out to break his heart like he broke hers. She started to flirt with the one person she knew would drive Steve up the wall with rage, Billy Hargrove. Billy happily obliged to fucking with Harrington when she began reciprocating his flirtatious jokes. He knew exactly what she was doing, and he was loving it. On their first date, Y/N made it very clear what she was doing. She wasn’t capable of anything more than a lustful relationship at the moment and wanted to make Steve hurt; she knew Billy was a pretty heartless person, so he was perfect for the job.

It started out as a strictly sexual relationship, but they quickly grew closer. Billy and Y/N would spend day and night together, laughing, crying, telling each other everything. She poured her heart out to him and he actually listened, which shocked her. He was different behind closed doors and it was starting to grow on her.

“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” Billy questioned one night, laying in his bed with Y/N after one of their late night encounters.

The two of them had been laughing and talking for about an hour when he brought Steve up, which made her go mute. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Billy.” she said timidly, avoiding his eyes as she spoke. It hurt too much to admit what she actually felt. It was as if every time she admitted her feelings about anything, it would all blow up in her face, so she never spoke anything to existence.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. I can tell what this is. I can see the way you look at him in the hallway at school, I see the way you act when you remember things about him that made you happy or that make you miss him. As much as I hate the kid, I can’t deny that I can see how in love you are still. I’d have to be a complete idiot to say that you were anywhere near falling for me.” Billy said, his hands combing through her hair as he spoke.

She didn’t say anything in reply, but the tears that fell onto his bare chest as they laid there in silence said everything he needed to know. He knew she wouldn’t admit it, it hurt her too much to talk about it. She felt comforted by the fact that Billy didn’t question her too much, that he cared enough to be there for her when she cried but not enough to be overbearing. She liked being with him, the way he laughed with her and pulled her close, or kissed her deeply when they were alone made her feel somewhat normal again.

He was different in bed than Steve ever was, too. Billy was rougher, more controlling, and dominated over her at all times. She seemed to enjoy it, though; he had done things to her that she had never experienced before. He would always make sure she was taken care of afterwards though, never leaving her feeling neglected after being rough with her. There was no love in their relationship, though. No butterflies came to her stomach when she would go to his house, she wouldn’t get excited every time they would kiss like she did with Steve. He realized that she wasn’t emotionally with him and respected it. Even if neither of them were in love or falling in love, they sure as hell acted like it in public.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Steve groaned when he saw her with Billy in the parking lot before school for the first time.

“Holy shit.” Dustin said from his passenger seat, leaning over to press his face against the window and get a better look. “Well that’s a couple that I never expected to see together.”

“Shut up, Dustin. You don’t have to rub it in my face.” Steve sneers, shooting him a quick glare before turning his attention back to the couple standing in the parking lot.

Jealousy grew inside of Steve as she stood in front of Billy, who leaned against his blue Camaro coolly. She stood on her toes and grinned up at Billy as if to ask for a kiss and he happily reciprocates, leaning down to her lips as his hands snake around her waist. Billy and Y/N both knew Steve was watching, so they put on a show for him. Billy's possessive hands stayed somewhere on her waist or back every time they were together, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.

Steve was hurt, confused and broken. But he knew that he was the reason she was doing what she was. She was trying to remind him of the broken promises and empty apologies he had left her with after they broke up. Was he just selfish? Maybe. But he wanted her and didn’t want her to be with anybody else. His heart broke every time he saw them together, every time Billy touched her skin or kissed her lips when he was around. It should have been Steve doing that, and she knew it all too well. As much as it hurt her to be kissing someone else in front of him, Y/N wanted Steve to feel remorse for his stupidity.

In reality, she was waiting for him to come crawling back to her. She had too much pride to make any first move towards getting back together with him. If that meant she had to wait months for him, she would. Billy and Y/N planned on breaking up after a few weeks to test Steve. She wanted him to do something, say anything about her, even give her a sympathetic or sad look in the hallway. And so she waited, trying to see what Steve would do after hearing of her and Billy breaking off whatever they had. She cried into her pillow every night, hoping that maybe Steve would come to her window to talk to her. She sat in the living room to do her homework after school, hoping that maybe Steve would come to the front door to apologize to her. She hoped and wished, but it seemed like nothing was going to happen. In reality, she just missed everything that they had together.

—

Two weeks after Billy and Y/N broke up, Steve began to see what she had been doing all along. She was trying to make him feel the way she did when she saw him with another girl. Deep down, he kept telling himself that she really did believe his letter from the box of her things. He was right, too. She was waiting for him to come to her, her pride wouldn’t let her come crawling back to Steve.

And Steve did exactly what she needed him to do; she knew him all too well. He waited until the time was right before trying anything, though. He could tell she was struggling when April came around, since graduation was right around the corner. She wasn’t graduating, but Steve was and that stressed her out more than going into her senior year did. She thought their time had run out and that he would leave for somewhere bigger and better. Little did she know, Steve wasn’t leaving Hawkins any time soon and wanted her to be on his side.

Steve waited until halfway through April to even attempt to talk to her again. The first time he tried to go to her locker, he was stopped by Jonathan on the way; he needed help with some pictures. The second time, he got caught up in the sea of people in the school hallway and didn’t want to be late to his English class again. The third time, he chickened out before he made it to her locker. After those three times, he promised himself that he would do something about it outside of school. The hallway seemed too public for him to even talk to her.

One day in late April, Steve finally mustered up enough courage to talk to her. Unfortunately, the day he planned on talking to her in the parking lot after class was a day that it poured rain, and he hadn’t brought an umbrella or worn a hooded jacket. Nevertheless, he had enough strength to talk to her and he was going to do it either way. He tried to get her attention in the front hallway before she walked out the front doors, but he failed miserably. He grabbed for her shoulder, but missed and almost face planted in front of the whole school.

He looked like a stalker, following her to the car in the rain, but he didn’t care. She had an umbrella covering her head as she ran towards her car in the pouring rain. Y/N was caught off guard when she saw a sopping wet boy out of the corner of her eye as she fumbled with her keys. She looked over at him with wide and curious eyes as Steve stood there, the rain pulling his hair down in front of his eyes.

“Can we talk?” Steve called out, trying to speak loud enough for her to hear him over the roaring rain.

“I don’t know, Steve. What in God’s name would you even want to talk to me about?” she questions from under the umbrella, trying to keep her typically brave facade up.

“Oh give it a rest, Y/N! You know exactly why I want to talk to you. Please.” he practically begs as everything on his person becomes drenched with rain.

She can’t tell for sure, but she could have sworn that she saw a tear in the corner of his eye; it was either that or a rogue raindrop that hit his eye. Her gaze softens when she realizes how serious he was being, his tone filled with pain. She nods hesitantly and quickly unlocks her car door, reaching to unlock the passenger side also. Steve hurries to the door and slides in, letting some rain in as he does.

“Before you say anything or cut me off. Just let me say that I’m sorry, I really am. You never gave me a chance to say that in person, and I understand why. But I’m fucking sorry, Y/N. And I love you, still.” Steve says quickly, staring over at her hopefully.

Almost immediately her eyes well up with tears and she tries to blink them away, but it doesn’t work. That’s what she had needed the whole time, just a simple apology. And he had never tried to give it to her. “You’ve had two months to say that, Steve.” she says calmly, staring down at the keys that sat in her lap. “I’ve been waiting for that for two damn months, you asshole.” she says with an exasperated laugh.

“What? That’s all I needed to do? Was say sorry? What the fu-“

“I was going to give you a chance to explain yourself if you apologized to me that night. You didn’t even realize I had seen it. You didn’t run after me or even acknowledge me when you came out of that bedroom and saw me crying on the couch as I slammed back my second bottle of wine by myself. But I guess that damn letter explained everything I needed to know. I didn’t want to believe that you would purposefully do that to me in the first place. I knew you loved me and that something had happened but I was too hurt to think about it, Steve. I didn’t even see you smoking weed with that girl, but obviously whatever you both had was not good and you need a new dealer.” Y/N says, shaking her head again as tears fell from her cheeks and onto her lap.

“Y/N, like I said...I’m so fucking sorry. I know I hurt you so bad. I deserve everything you’ve done to make me hurt back in the past two months. I didn’t deserve to get you back right away. But I love you more than you know, and I don’t know if I could handle you being with another guy again. Even if it wasn’t a real relationship.” Steve said, his lips curving into a tiny smile when he mentions her fake relationship with Billy.

She rolls her eyes and a small laugh escapes her lips at his words. Finally, she makes eye contact with him and sees that she was right; his eyes were teary and his nose red. Without saying another word, she reached across the console of her car and cupped his cheeks softly. The only noise to be heard in the car was the sound of the rain dripping down on the roof. She gazed into his tired, glassy eyes for a moment before kissing him softly.

“I love you too, Steve.”

[lifblogs]

It’s Time We Had the Talk

ACT FOUR Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel Pairing: Destiel Summary: While Dean is dealing with the Mark of Cain, and Sam with his own trauma, they are drawn to a hunt in Elkins, West Virginia, where they join up with Castiel in solving the deaths of two partially eaten college students. DLSV TEASER | ACT ONE | ACT TWO | ACT THREE A/N: Get ready for HBO-level shit.

ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Lightning STRIKES, alighting the motel room. The broken furniture, the obvious struggle, the bit of blood. Rain POUNDS, soaking Dean and Castiel.

Dean starts pacing, getting worked up into a stupor.

CASTIEL Dean, we can get him back.

Dean KICKS a chair so hard it FALLS over.

DEAN Fuck!

Castiel's face falls, etched with pain and upset. Going over to Dean, he grabs him by the jacket, and then grips his jaw, making him face him.

Angered, afraid for his brother, Dean struggles.

Castiel holds him tight.

CASTIEL Dean, we will save Sam.

DEAN How?

Castiel and Dean "eye-fuck," sharing their desperation.

FADE TO:

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Occasional flashes of lightning burst across the dark basement Emily, and now Sam, are being held in. Thunder BOOMS. Rain POURS in through the grate, flooding the cold stone floor in an inch of water.

Emily stands in the corner. The wound on her arm has been wrapped with the bottom part of her shirt.

Sam -- bleeding from multiple wounds on his face, jaw and temple swelling, neck red -- wakes as the Fertility Goddess finishes CHAINING him.

He struggles, GASPS, GRUNTS. Bare feet KICK at the water on the floor. Sam quickly takes in his surroundings. Though weakened from the beating, a fight still resides in him.

The Fertility Goddess smiles. She PATS his chest, making him flinch.

She turns to leave.

SAM Since I'm your prisoner, can I at least get your name?

Beat.

FERTILITY GODDESS Fawn.

FAWN (Fertility Goddess) leaves.

Beat. Emily builds up the courage to approach Sam.

EMILY She got you good.

SAM I've had worse. (nodding at wound) What'd she do to you?

Emily frowns, blushing.

EMILY Cut something out of me. Cauterized it. I bandaged my arm so the burn wouldn't get infected.

SAM Smart.

Sam puts two and two together.

SAM You had an implant. Birth control, right?

Emily hugs her arms to herself, looking down.

EMILY Yeah.

SAM Fuck. (beat) I'm Sam, by the way.

EMILY Emily. So why'd she take you?

SAM I don't know.

Emily tears a strip from her shirt. Sam is perplexed.

EMILY Might as well clean you up.

She's dipping the strip in the water.

EMILY Probably as clean as it'll get.

She approaches, wet cloth in hand. Sam tries to pull away.

SAM No, I'm fine.

Emily hesitantly cleans the wound on his brow. Sam WINCES. He pulls back, shying away, chains CLANKING as she reaches for his lip.

SAM Maybe you shouldn't be touching me.

EMILY Why not?

Sam gapes, unable to come up with an answer. Emily reaches out to him again.

SAM Look, it doesn’t matter. If we don’t do what Fawn says, she’ll kill us. She’s not human.

EMILY How do you know all this?

SAM I’m a hunter.

EMILY I do not need to think of Bambi's mother getting shot right now. Thanks.

SAM No. No!  (beat) Emily, there are things in this world that can't be explained. Things that most people think aren't real. Vampires, werewolves... Monsters. Supernatural creatures. (beat) Me and my brother, we hunt those things.

Emily, unhinged, LAUGHS, throwing down the strip of her shirt.

She strolls about the room, water SLOSHING.

EMILY Great. I didn't just get captured by some psycho killer. I got captured by a monster.

(to herself)

Way to go, Emily!

SAM Look, it happens. It doesn't matter how prepared you are, how smart you are, if you know how to fight... Being in this situation -- you can't blame yourself for it.

Emily, somber, leans against the wall beside Sam.

EMILY So what does she want?

Beat.

SAM I don’t know. (beat) Do you have a hairpin on you?

Emily searches her pockets.

EMILY I have a paperclip.

FADE TO:

INT. IMPALA - NIGHT

Rain PATTERS against the windows. Dean and Castiel sit in the front seats of the Impala, going through Sam's notes.

DEAN You'd think Brian 'The Brain' would've left something useful.

CASTIEL He did, just not anything on how to track her.

DEAN Can we summon her?

Castiel flips through the old annotated book bulging with papers and covered in Sam's handwriting on his lap.

CASTIEL Possibly.

DEAN Then let's do it!

CASTIEL If we kill her, we won't find Sam.

DEAN We'll torture it out of her!

Dean's sleeves are rolled up. Castiel eyes the Mark. Dean follows his gaze, and then looks at his arm.

HEARTBEATS.

Dean locks eyes with Castiel.

DEAN I'll be okay.

CASTIEL No, you won't. I won't let you do this.

Dean grabs the book from Castiel.

DEAN I'm not asking permission.

He flips through the pages; angry, desperate.

DEAN And god damn it, can't you track her, or something? You found her before.

Castiel's face falls. He is failing his family.

CASTIEL She was using her powers then. Now she's -- well, she's quiet.

Dean tosses the book aside.

DEAN Well, we won't get anywhere without some wooden stakes. What's say you and I go get ourselves a Christmas Tree?

CASTIEL Merry Christmas.

Dean turns, GUNNING the engine. The Impala PURRS. He CLAPS Castiel on the shoulder, face grim, jaw tight; eyes hard, and focused.

DEAN That's the spirit.

He backs out of the motel parking lot, and turns the wheel fast, heading for the road.

FADE TO:

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Emily's legs are wrapped around Sam. She has climbed up him to reach the padlock. He's uncomfortable. Emily focuses on what she's doing, now-bent paperclip shoved into the lock.

SAM Jiggle it a bit. No! Not too much.

EMILY Stop backseat driving.

She slips on him, and falls. SPLASH. CRY.

Emily GROWLS, frustrated. She gets back up, and jumps on Sam, making him GRUNT at the weight. She climbs up him.

EMILY Sorry.

SAM Don’t worry, just--

FOOTSTEPS. Fawn approaches. Emily extricates herself from Sam and hides behind him as Fawn enters. She glares.

SAM You don’t have to do this.

FAWN Oh, I don’t, boy? As if you could understand.

SAM I do. You want power, But that’s gotten hard, hasn’t it? What with birth control and all. That’s why you cut it out of them.

EMILY (whispering) Sam, I don’t like this.

Fawn glides over to him. Ignoring Emily, she grabs Sam’s face, and runs her other hand over his chest. She slides it underneath his shirt.

Sam GROANS, and refuses to look at her.

FAWN I felt you. In that motel room. Filled to the brim with lust, body so eager to let go. And yet, even locked in here with a pretty thing like her you haven't convinced her to sit on that cock of yours.

Beneath his shirt, Fawn tweaks one of his nipples. Sam WINCES. She withdraws her hand and PATS his chest.

EMILY Sam, what’s she talking about?

FAWN Sex, dear. Intercourse. Love. Fucking.

With a SNAP of her fingers, the chains release. CLICK.

Fawn begins to beat Sam before he can get his bearings. Trying to fight back proves futile, especially once she pulls a knife on him. Straddling him, she slices into him a few times. He SCREAMS. The bloodied knife rests against his throat now.

Sam’s chest heaves, nostrils flaring.

SAM Go ahead. Good luck getting what you want with me dead.

FAWN I could just... (dragging the knife lower) ...eat you.

She grinds against him now.

SAM If that’s all you wanted you would’ve done it by now. You need me.

FAWN I hate when they’re clever. Fine.

She reaches out a hand, and Emily flies across the room, SCREAMING. Fawn holds her over Sam, grip tight in her hair, knife against her throat. SOB.

FAWN Do as I say, or I kill her.

SAM No. No! You don’t have to do this.

The knife presses in, drawing blood. Emily WHIMPERS.

LUCIFER (V.O.) You're my little bitch...

SAM Fine! Fine! All right! I’ll do it. But you let this girl go after. You can keep me. Use me.

LUCIFER (V.O.) ...in every sense of the term.

Fawn sees the upset and determination on Sam's face. She releases them.

Tears are in Sam’s eyes, jaw clenched, he sits up. Emily falls into his arms. Sam BREATHES heavy. Disgusted. Yet he rubs Emily's back, trying to soothe.

SAM It’s okay.

He pulls Emily's face towards him. Terrified, wanting to live, she kisses him. Sam strains, but then he KISSES back.

He pulls Emily into his lap, and takes his shirt off. Hers comes off before he undoes the clasp on her bra.

Emily shivers.

Their kisses are desperate, violent, LOUD, and wet.

Unconsciously, Emily grinds against Sam. He GROANS, hard now.

By the door, Fawn smiles.

FADE TO:

INT. IMPALA - NIGHT - TRAVELING

Dean drives fast, wooden stakes in the back seat, Castiel beside him.

Suddenly, Castiel winces, putting a hand to his head.

DEAN Cass?

CASTIEL Go back! Turn around.

DEAN But that’ll take us to the college.

CASTIEL Sam’s there!

Dean makes a U-turn and speeds down the wet road.

FADE TO:

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sam and Emily BREATHE heavy. Their pants are off. Sam shields her from Fawn.

SAM I’m sorry.

EMILY (tearful) Just save me, Sam.

Sam kisses her, and his fingers go in between her legs. She GASPS. MOANS.

Sam tries to pull away from Emily, but a flick of Fawn's finger has a deep slice CUTTING into his back.

Sam SCREAMS, arching into Emily. His hand has paused. Emily grinds against it, kissing his face.

EMILY (murmuring) It’s okay, Sam. It’s okay.

Sam squeezes his eyes shut, and he CRIES. Emily is stronger than him.

She slips Sam’s boxers down, and firmly grasps him.

Sam MOANS, trembling.

Emily's arm moves up and down.

SAM No!

He shoves her off of him, and puts himself away, charging at Fawn. She slices and slices, knife not even needed. Sam writhes. SCREAMS. Emily rushes over and holds him, CRYING.

EMILY Stop! Stop! Please!

FAWN Do you want to be next, girl?

Emily trembles. Sam GASPS. Blood soaks into the water.

FADE TO:

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - NIGHT

The rain has stopped. Dean and Castiel walk past education buildings, wooden stakes in hand.

CASTIEL This way.

He leads Dean down an obscure path.

FADE TO:

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Fawn slices into Sam at his sensitive inner thigh.

FADE TO:

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - NIGHT

Sam’s SCREAM rends the air.

Beat.

DEAN AND CASTIEL

they rush to the sound

Castiel spots the grate. Peers in.

SCREAM.

DEAN (O.S.) Over here!

ON Dean. He’s found the way in.

Dean BANGS against the door.

It won’t budge.

Castiel shoves him aside.

CASTIEL Let me.

Hand glowing, he has the door flying off its hinges.

DEAN AND CASTIEL

they descend the steps

FADE TO:

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Emily desperately strokes Sam’s hair, tears falling onto him.

EMILY Stop! Stop! Stop! Please!

Racing FOOTSTEPS.

SAM’S P.O.V. - DEAN AND CASTIEL

vision blurred with pain, heart POUNDING, Dean and Castiel rush in.

BACK TO SCENE.

Dean GROWLS, immediately going after Fawn.

Castiel is over by Emily and Sam. He gives Emily his coat to cover herself.

SAM Cass?

Castiel puts a hand to his head, hoping to soothe him.

Dean easily gets the upper hand with Fawn. Heart BEATS as the Mark of Cain burns on his arm.

The brutal fight lasts minutes. Eventually, Fawn falls to the floor. Dean CRIES out, and STABS her through the stomach with the stake.

She lets out a STRANGLED cry.

Dean STABS her again.

Again.

SCREAMING.

Castiel rushes over, holding Dean, pulling him back. Dean SCREAMS, struggling.

CASTIEL It’s over, Dean. It’s over.

Sam sits up. Emily clings to him. Looking at his brother, Sam sees the demon lurking inside.

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT FOUR

[meta-squash]

[Three old connected posts about Richey from like 2016 that I’m just going to put into one post because I’m very lazy.]

okay see the most annoying thing i’ve found so far about this book and also a fair amount of articles i’ve read that rehash richey’s disappearance is that they a) don’t seem to use common sense or think like someone who is trying to be anonymous and b) can’t seem to put themselves in the shoes of someone who is severely depressed and think the way mental illness makes you think. like this book is asking all these questions like “oh well richey was seen newport by a fan and we know he had friends in the city but no one he knew saw him so where was he sleeping the past few nights?” in his car, probably, dumbass. like someone trying to stay anonymous and/or trying not to spend too much money and/or not even thinking about things like hotels would. “why did he take cash out of the bank?” a) he was planning on buying an epensive desk b) he was going to america for 3 weeks c) even if his initial disappearance was mostly unplanned, things like running away, or suicide, or whatever, become sort of escapist fantasies when you’re in a bad mental place and when someone gets even more overwhelmed and starts seeing the fantasy more and more as an actual possibility, they start preparing for it whether or not they genuinely intend to go through with it or not. “why did he leave his passport etc in plain view? was it a clue or to throw people off?” well probably neither cuz when you’re in any sort of state of distress or just want to get out of a situation you don’t usually think about tiny details like where you’re putting the things you’ve taken out of your pockets. and when you’re dealing with severe depression/anxiety and/or a mental breakdown certain things are bound to be even less thought-out, or more erratic, or just generally like impulsive and desperate. and don’t even get me started on the “what if he had an accomplice” conspiracy theories.

okay fuck it i’m making the other post too. there’s all this speculation about like did richey kill himself or didn’t he blah blah. and again it’s just a failure on the part of the people writing to actually think like a someone going through that shit or to use common sense. like the biggest thing people talk about is the car; it was ticketed after he’d been missing nearly two weeks. but like there’s so much common sense that could explain any of that. first of all aust is/was a rest stop, meaning people come and go odd hours and stay for random amounts of time. if richey was staying there and sleeping in his car for some amount of time, it probably wouldn’t have been ticketed, since he was still physically inside the car. second the decision to disappear or kill oneself is a fucking big one. and for someone like richey who loves to think about things, it was probably important to get it all sorted in his head first, which would mean space and silence (again, sleeping in one’s car is a thing, driving around is a thing). and if he had an actual mental breakdown, then maybe his actions and decisions were even more random and erratic and then who knows, he could have just been going from place to place arbitrarily while trying to figure what to do. but making the decision takes time and thought, and his car was probably ticketed only after he’d made the final decision and walked away and had been gone a few days. in terms of no note, well if you were wanting to disappear why the hell would you leave a note? but this book and others talk about richey’s documented obsession with suicide notes. but as someone else who is personally interested in suicide notes, what i’ve noticed (which means richey probably did too) is that they never seem adequate to the living. there’s still a million ‘why’s left, and things are still unclear, they’re there for the living but if the person who would be writing has nothing to say, or feels they can’t adequately express their reasons, or feels they are a burden of some sort, or whatever, then what’s the point in writing a note? and honestly, if he killed himself, he probably wasn’t planning on his body disappearing. there was probably no thought process of “yes i’m going to jump off this bridge and the current is going to make my body disappear.” the other thing that is not mentioned in this book but the other two talk about it is that one interview where richey says he wouldn’t ever commit suicide. and like on one hand yes, that could absolutely be the truth. but on the other hand, do you really think richey (or anyone for that matter) would say in front of his friends and also a journalist “yeah, i’d commit suicide” especially only weeks after getting out of hospital? even if he was suicidal, i doubt he’d have admitted it at the time, and he’d have said no in order to keep his friends happy (especially because both he and the rest of the band noted that around that time richey’s primary goal was to be well enough to tour and to keep his friends from worrying etc). i dunno where this was going i’m just rambling i’m just annoyed at these journalists’ lack of ability to think like a person who had already been suicidal or at least severely depressed before, who had already had a breakdown before, who was under immense pressure, and who was dealing with grief on top of addiction on top of artistic pressures on top of his mental health on top of the prospect of going to a country he actively despised etc etc.

this is a continuation of my annoyance that was expressed in these two posts but i was just thinking about it again

like the people writing articles and books and stuff are freaking out about richey leaving his medication behind but like meds don’t always work. the first meds you’re on don’t always work. and it’s been proven that prozac is one of the least effective antidepressants especially for severe depression and if richey had other mental illnesses as well then who knows. but idk one of the books said something along the lines of ‘without his medication, who knows what he’d have done in his unhinged mental state’ but like if his meds weren’t really doing anything, his leaving them behind wouldn’t have made much of a difference. idk just like every interview and every record of his behavior after getting out of the hospital seems less to me like someone on working meds with adequate therapy and more like someone trying really really hard to make the people he loves happy but also cope without the coping mechanisms that everyone says are harmful to him and without adequate support to replace them. idk like whether or not richey had an actual breakdown when he disappeared, i doubt his lack of medication would have made much of a difference. and anyway, it’s also proven that severely depressed people are more likely to commit suicide just after getting on medication, because the meds finally give them enough energy to get up and go through with it. so, like, it wouldn’t have necessarily helped had he been on them. idk it’s just annoying that they just assume that everything was worse because he left his meds behind. but like, maybe they weren’t working, or maybe they gave him the energy to do what he needed to do, or maybe he’d stopped taking them long before then, or whatever.

[alexanderlightweight]

Serendipity

(Part of the Roswell New Mexico Week 2019)

Prompt: If I could do it all over again 

His ship isn’t alive, not quite.  It’s not completely sentient or at least he doesn’t think it is.  Michael’s not sure about anything at this point, least of all the console that hums like music in his head.  Entropy and quiet until all he can hear is a voice that sounds like a song asking him, “would you live twice, the same life but different?”

“If I could do it all over again, could I change things?”  Michael asked, too tired to bother hiding the desperation in his voice.  “Could I fix things?  Could I save the people I love?”  His voice trailed off but his eyes begged, the question ‘could I make it so the people I loved stayed with me?’

“You could,” the voice replied.  “Anything is possible, the power I wield, the power we would use together.  It can both form and destroy worlds.”

“Then yes,” Michael said.  Something close to hope forming in his chest, “I would do it again, as many times as I had to.  Anything to make it different, to make it better.”  

The console remained silent but he could still feel the steady echo of it in his mind, “you wouldn’t have to go alone.  Together we have enough energy.  I will not be the same then, too fragmented and alone for too long.  Until we meet again, you could have help.  I can send two back.”

Michael’s whole body lit up, mind weaving scenarios as he grappled with who to take.  Who did he trust to do what needed to be done, who actually had the skills to have his back, to…. His mind blanked, his thoughts at war with each other.  

“How far back can we go?”

“A decade of these human years, possibly a little more but that is as far as my energy will go right now.”  

A decade, god but he wanted to take Isobel, he desperately needed her to be the one to have his back.  She couldn’t be though, the time they’d be going back too would be at the height of Noah messing with her brain and Noah was strong, strong enough that he’d notice her brain changing and strengthening.  They couldn’t afford to tip him off without a plan and Isobel would also want to tell Max everything, a Max who he was still close to but a Max who made the rules and hadn’t matured enough to realize they needed to work together.

Isobel also lacked the skills he needed most, skills that only one person he knew had.  The one person he’d desperately wanted a clean slate, a new beginning to which they could start over with.  

Michael cursed under his breath and his hand reached out, a bottle of acetone flying to him and he swallowed it greedily.  He needed to numb himself, to tear away the emotional side of him that begged to take Isobel or Liz, anyone but Alex.  

This could destroy him.  The possibility of having everything he wanted with Alex was being dangled in front of him and he couldn’t take it.  It would be selfish, to take that hope and make it a reality.  He needed Captain Manes.  He needed the Alex Manes who could hack into domestic and foreign military and government servers the way other people played solitaire.  

He needed an Alex Manes who could look Jesse Manes and feel nothing but disgust.  Most of all, Michael needed an Alex who knew how to make sure the Caulfield massacre never happened again.  He was too selfish and selfless to pick anyone else.  

Once again life screwed them over, ensuring that he and Alex couldn’t have each other, no matter how badly they wanted to.

“Can you safely send a human back?”  Michael asked, knowing he sounded unhinged and beyond caring.  “Can you swear to me on who and what I am to you,” -he still didn’t know why he was so important- “that it won’t harm Alex.  That sending him back will be safe for him?”

“Yes.”

“I need to talk to him then,” Michael reached for his phone, “I’ll have him come over.  He will if it’s important.”  Michael tried not to think about the fact that they’d barely spoken about anything other than work and saving Max and hunting down other possible branches of Project Shepherd in months.  

“I can reach him from here.  He is who you are most connected to on this planet, in all of the universe.  You bond will protect him.  There is no need to ask questions to which you are unsure of the answer.”

“I can’t just tear him apart from this time and this world without asking!”  Michael froze, suddenly realizing what he was doing.  He and Isobel had sworn to each other after Max had died, he couldn’t break that promise. They had promised not to make choices for each other, or do anything drastic without letting the other know.

“I will take that burden on myself.  I merely needed to know your willingness and who to send with you.  You will be protected now, this new world will be better.  You will make it so.”

The peace in his mind vanished and he shook his head, mouth forming the words ‘wait’ even as the console flashed and it was as though every star in the galaxy imploded.  A stunning ethereal light before it faded into darkness, flashes of memories flitting through his brain like pulses of electricity.

He remembered a ship, moving through space, being cradled by warm arms and then the comforting embrace of his pod.

Then, he woke up.

-

His first thought was one of confusion.  The air was dry and dusty, his tongue numb with a lingering hint of acetone at the back of his throat and his eyes heavy with an exhaustion that didn’t quite make sense.  He rolled over on his bed, uncomfortable and strangely hard only to hit his head again metal.  

Michael started up with a fit of flailing arms, panic making his breath come in and out in short heaving little gasps as he looked around.  He was in the middle of the desert, parked under a rising sun and curled in the back of his truck.  A lumpy pillow and blankets the bed and home he’d made for himself when he’d had nothing else, remnants of a life he hadn’t lived in almost he hadn’t slept on in almost a decade.  

“Fuck,” he muttered and brought his hands up to scrub at an unscruffed and soft cheek, “oh fuck.”  His hands, both completely intact and even the one that Max had healed -the one that had ached with pain and that would seize up unexpectedly as though it were still injured- it felt whole again.  Complete in a way that Max’s healing could never have made it.  

His hand shook.  

“I’m going to have very strong words with my ship when they’re rebuilt,” he muttered under his breath and if he weren’t already an alien, he might have thought this whole experience was an acetone induced nightmare.  As he rubbed at the muscles in his left hand, his mind wandered to Alex.  If he was already awake.  How he was dealing with this and if the ship had been true in it’s promise that Alex would be safe.  As he stretched out the joints in each of his unbroken fingers, he idly wondered how Alex was handling having his leg back.

The world crashed around him and Michael froze.

Despite the unfamilitary of a body a decade too young, Michael tore out of his truck-bed, ignoring the need for shoes and slammed the hatch before hauling himself into the cab.  In an instant he was driving, a manic gleam to his eyes and his heart beating a terrified staccato in his chest.

While the ship might have been honest in it’s promise not to harm Alex, even the ship couldn’t control how Alex handled the shock of both time travel and waking up with a limb he’d only just gotten used to missing.  Especially since Alex would have had no warning prior to waking up in his childhood- Michael swore, fervently.  Almost worse than either of those, he suddenly realized that not only would Alex be unprepared for either of the two events but that he was also waking up in his father’s house.  The thought of Alex, stuck under Jesse Mane’s roof in a body completely different to the one he’d had a decade down the road, made him press harder on the gas pedal.  

He just had to hope that at the end of the day, after he found Alex and explained to him what had happened, that Alex would still help him out.  Even if nothing else came of this new chance, he knew that he couldn't fix the future without Alex on his side.  

[migleefulmoments]

Abby is the 1 who needs a reading comprehension lesson. An anonymous person said 'You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.' Abby's reply was 'Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring.' Am I crazy or is that totally 2 different things? Sometimes Abby is so blind it makes me crazy. Also, if u could do a follow up to her blatherings re her post it would be great. I'm just gobsmacked over it.

I see you wrote another post clarifying it was Cassie who made the comments you quoted but the entire coven’s comments after Cassie just get more ridiculous- “fact” after “fact” of lies and nonsense comparisons.  It’s batty that they believe any of the lies- but they believe them all! 

Anonymous asked: My grandpa doesn't wear his wedding ring because he used to work as an AC/heating repair man (he even taught college courses on fixing heaters at one point) and then was just not in the habit when he retired. That doesn't make his and grandma's marriage less valid. Rings are a symbolic thing that most cultures don't even do. You're a narrow-minded fool if you actually put any stock in whether or not a married man is wearing his ring.

cassie1022 answered: Oh yay, fun. (Cassie -always so charming)  My dear Nonnie, once again, reading comprehension eludes someone that believes in the Miarren myth. Never once did I or anyone I know say that a married person has to wear a ring (and yet Abby pops in below to claim the same but then argue that it IS the ring coming and going that looks suspicious. Let’s pretend that cc rings were real- he didn’t wear them every day regardless of what Abby claims.). Some people don’t wear them because they work with their hands, like your grandpa, and some just don’t feel comfortable wearing them. Let’s be real though. D has never shown an aversion to wearing rings. He’s worn them quite often, even while playing a show (yes, but he also took them off.  It’s his prerogative.  Until he says he’s getting divorced, it’s none of our business). There was a time when the only time he DIDN’T have a ring on was while he was in character (so what? He has had his wedding ring on most times we’ve seen him. You are counting individual photos as entire days and that isn’t accurate)

That being said, let’s examine. When was the last time you think D fixed a car, operated heavy machinery, or, like your grandpa, fixed an AC unit or heater?  (You have no idea what he does in his spare time.  This is a gross comment-some people do things with their hands -build things- because they enjoy it)  (Maybe if he could do that, people wouldn’t be making their own sweat gravy when they go to TSG.)(So now we start with the lies and mischaracterizations. FUN. There are two comments from TSG claiming A/C was broken. Since likely Mia doesn’t own the building, she has no control over the A/C being broken). 

As I’ve already said, rings aren’t for everyone, but I’ve also pointed out that D has been an avid ring wearer most of his life, and there is more than enough photographic evidence to support this. Also, most couples that exchange rings don’t usually stop wearing them in the first year of marriage.(And he hasn’t stopped wearing his now has he?) That’s when it’s usually a point of pride and you want the world to know you are someone’s spouse. (Does Darren seem like the kind of person who is worried about “the world knowing he’s someone’s spouse”? He’s pretty open about his relationship and taking his ring off for an hour or two isn’t indicative of anything).

You know what DOES make a marriage less valid? No legitimate officiant.(LIE)  There are only a handful of states where you can officiate your own marriage, and guess what? Louisiana isn’t one of them.(He didn’t, Joe did)  You need an ordained minister and in addition to that, the minister must register in the parish where the marriage is taking place.

So, if this makes me a “narrow-minded fool,” so be it. I’ve been called worse. (It definitely does).  

ajw720 I needed to laugh this morning, thank you nonnie.(I would imagine you need to laugh a hell of a lot more than you do Abby)  You people really don’t get it (Oh lord).  Also, it isn’t JUST the ring (which is very suspicious especially as he deliberately takes it off at random times, there one minute gone the next) (Here abby argues it isn’t the ring.... except it is the ring) , it is as @cassie1022 pointed out, no officiant (LIE) , weird wedding algorithm (the fact that Abby truly believes there was a guest algorithm says everything there is to say about Abby’s judgment and the cc nonsense)  is FAMILY HONEYMOON (a joke)  constant babysitters (LIE) d’s complete lack of enthusiasm (he practically said he was bored and realized at the last moment that that was bad) (Desperate Abby, you're so desperate) , talked about pooping exes as opposed to how life changed with his bride (and you don’t get that this is was keep from speaking about his personal life? How long have you been a fan? Joking about something to distract from having to answer something private is spot-on Darren), speaks more passionately about his jacket then his wedding (we done got hitched) (This means nothing Abby...NOTHING. He wrote a boring post about his jacket and you’ve been losing your shit over it ever since. IT meant nothing...it was a coat he wore to an event. You only like it because he was boring and serious. It was the farthest thing from Darren I’ve ever read.), announced the engagement using a reference to the wrong freaking franchise (I can’t...this is one of your dumbest arguments out of a lot of arguments. It was a JOKE Abby, a joke.  He used the franchise that made the joke funny. Darren doesnt’ own a franchise)   , FIVE FUCKING encagement rings (LIE), the last of which is an advertisement that she is paid to wear and they haven’t even tried to hide this fact (LIE), utter lack of chemistry (again desperate Abby) , the weirdness with his non-relationship but clear friendship of sorts with his ex co-star (It’s not “weirdness” it’s a nonrelationship-you said it yourself). , the way she is promoted that is beyond excessive for someone who isn’t famous (This entire rant is unhinged. Nobody is promoting her, he’s living his life with her.  Like we expect he would with his wife. There is nothing untoward with their behavior together.  The fact that you have to label it “promotion” says that it worries you a lot). the fact that the sold their entire wedding to about 100 sponsors )(LIE) (I am sure there are more than we even realize), the clear references to fandom at the sham mockery (OMG Abby, give it up. Nobody cares about you), and that this allegedly private couple also released 85% of their wedding for public consumption (They released 27 photos. That is HARDLY 85% of their wedding. You saw a lot of the same photos posted by their friends and it upset you but they didn’t release 85% of their wedding. It was a 4-day event and the wedding events started at around 3 pm and lasted until after midnight -27 is not 85% of 10-ish hours of celebration).  

If it was ONLY that he randomly took his ring off depending on how the wind is blowing, fine, that is evidence alone of nothing.  All of these things, and hundred and hundreds of other facts (which are ALL LIES). (inconsistent timelines (Darren doesn’t owe you a “consistent timeline” that’s asinine)   they don’t know where they met each other RC handshakes (You know that isn’t a handshake- they were photographed together right before the “handshake’ you won’t let go of and he’s heard introducing her as his girlfriend ), D running from her every moment he can, etc, etc)(Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night), are clear evidence it is fake that is beyond a reasonable doubt (Bwahahahahaha you are conning yourself Abby) .  Him kissing her in her bar is his job.  I suggest nonnie you pay attention to the details (Which ones- your lies or the real details?) And please pay attention to the captain, he hasn’t even been subtle lately, he has been fairly blatant (Le sigh, he isn’t the captain.  He’s a dude who loves his boyfriend Will and writes children’s books that are not cc Bibles) .

Happy Thanksgiving Nonnie!  I hope you can tear yourself away from reading blogs you disagree with long enough to enjoy your friends and family! Cheers!

notes-from-nowhere What love are you talking about, anon? M doesn’t love D and she makes this clear every chance she get (LIE- there is nothing that suggests MIa isn’t in love with Darren). Do I have to remind you how she denied to D’s mom one red carpet to celebrate her son? (LIE Abby fabricated)  Or to D’s dad to be honored for his military past?(another LIE Abby fabricated)  But why listing all of her actions when you know very well this is only the surface.

Btw, I still have to know a singer/actor lost a finger because of a wedding band. Anon, try again, this attempt failed. (SMH)

leka-1998 You know what I like about this instance in particular? Apart from the fact that the ring isn’t off the whole time, he’s still wearing the other one here.

After 284719 years, she should also know what the language D’s mom speaks is called. Seems she doesn’t care enough. (Another LIE that Abby fabricated) 

Also, former platonic roomie says hello. (LIE) 

ajw720

They still can’t explain away B/enny, the man D just praised for his new album yet D hasn’t even mentioned his brother’s (I can’t explain it but it has nothing to do with Darren and Mia.  You’re the one making it a problem) .  The man that mocked fandom on his IG by referring to M/oulin R/ouge when posting about the fraud in NOLA (Nobody-especially Ben Hudson- gives a shit about fandom Abby. You’re a nobody)  The man who seemingly officiated the wedding (Again a LIE)  And the one who appears to have a dog (yes he does, he lives with his girlfriend, Joanna, and their two dogs) . Hey remember just a few weeks ago when PBB dropped her teeth in the dog’s bowl? Funny as we know she and D don’t have a dog (Nope, they clearly don’t- stop trying so hard).…

[dragonindigo245]

Project [REDACTED]

Heyo!!! This is a WIP story I'm doing with the amazing @pawton-meowity ! Hope you enjoy! The odd numbered chapters will be posted on their Tumblr while the even ones will be on mine. Feel free to request to be added to the tag list for updates! Thanks! 💜🖤💜

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Chapter 2: P.O.V. Of Logan

The probability of me having the knowledge of three people coming was as Patton put it, astronomical. I saw them approach the edge of the crater and then they were gone only to have them fade away and the scene play out once more. I simply shook this aside however because the three didn't look like the type who had come to 'chill'. The one with a green and purple eye looked between all of us before loudly asking, "What the hell?!?"

I moved from my spot next to the meteorite and placed myself firmly in front of Patton. Roman however was one step ahead figuratively.

"Problem, Casper the Dreary Ghost?"

The figure in the black ruffled shirt shoved the 'edgier' one aside, as if that was how he got a chance to speak.

"Ooo! Someone with pop culture references! I want that one! Can I, can I, can I, Dee? Pleeeeeease?"

The supposed 'Dee' slapped a gloved hand over the energetic one.

"No. Shut up. We're totally here for the- ARE YOU EATING MY GLOVE?" Dee pulled his hand away in pure disgust. Clearly the one with the ruffles was a little bit unhinged.

The only one who even seemed to acknowledge us anymore was the heterochromatic one. He sighed and slid down the crater like Roman had done so elegantly. Our group was still a little uneasy of him but didn't bother to say anything about him entering the hole. Wait... doesn't that mean he's stuck down-

"Hey nerd, who were the first two that touched this?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked to see the heterochromatic one sitting on the meteorite casually.

"Pardon? Why is that necessary information?"

"Cause it's important, idiot."

"I beg to differ. I am one of the leading students in my major. An idiot would be-"

"It's just a saying now PLEASE just answer the question."

Patton cut in with both of his hands between us despite the noticeable distance we had from each other.

"Guys! Fighting isn't gonna do anything! Let's just be reasonable, introduce ourselves, and talk it out. Okay?" Normally I would object to this seeing as how I did not wish to make acquaintances with this foreboding figure however Patton seemed more than a little uneasy. Instead of denying his request I simply sighed and mumbled an apology.

"Virgil. Now can you please answer my question?"

"Virgil?" I asked curiously him. "Is that your name then?"

He nodded and motioned to Patton. "He said for us to introduce ourselves and I don't particularly care to learn your guys names soooo... can you answer my question or are you going to dodge around it more?"

Patton spoke up quickly, ignoring Virgil's sour attitude and as Roman would call it: Edgy personality.

"Well I'm Patton! This is Logan or who you called a uh... nerd... and the one with the red hoodie is Roman! To answer your question you desperately want the answer to well Logan and I were the first two. Why do you ask?"

Virgil massaged his nose and mumbled something nobody was close enough to hear. He glanced at Roman who was more interested in the other two people and back to us.

"Do you know how much trouble you have gotten yourselves into? Why would you even touch a giant unknown object that was designed to look steam- OH SHIT I said too much." He hopped down from the meteor and jumped up part of the crater. With ease he scaled it with precise placement of his feet and made it to the top in almost no time.

The rest of his group stopped talking and took one glance at him and seemed to take some hint I couldn't see. The ruffly one bowed to us with a large grin.

"Well you've been a wonderful audience but we're gonna go now! Enjoy the rest of your pathetic lives! Especially you Roman, hope nobody clobbers you over the head with a mace!" Dee pulled him with them and angrily shouted:

"Let's go Remus! You'll get to talk to them later! Less talking and more running!"

Finally the last piece of the set as I believe the saying goes. Wait... Running? They must be running from the people coming from the opposite end of the crater... wait how did I know that? That can't be possible for me to know.

"Roman, Patton, I think they have the right idea. We should go back and swiftly. Something isn't right."

Patton nodded and whispered: "You're right, it's left." before going to the area Virgil climbed. "How do we even climb this? It seems... risky..."

Roman came up to Patton and assessed the wall. "Maybe one of us could stay here while the others climb to catch them if they fall... then the last one just attempt it head on? We could vote or something..."

Roman and I looked at each other and in unison said: "Patton is going up first."

Patton opened his mouth to protest but quickly decided against it when we glared at him, or rather I did at least. I couldn't see Roman's face at the time after all.

I took Patton's hand into my own and helped him onto the first little ledge. I wanted to make sure he could be safe for as long as possible before he was out of my grip. The first step up was alright, second step, third, at the fourth I had to let go which made it worse for my nerves. Fifth, siiiiiiix... that one was almost bad. Seven... one more, ni-

"PATTON!" I screamed as he fell from the very top. I knew where and when he would land somehow and I was very grateful for that. I caught a shaking Patton in my arms and tried to soothe him as much as I could. He got out of my arms slowly and lay down on the ground as if it would help him regain his breath. We didn't have time for this but if we did I would have continued to help him.

"I'll go first this time, Roman. You help Patton climb up as much as you can then I'll make sure he doesn't fall again." Roman nodded seriously (for a change) and I took one last glance at Patton to make sure he was okay. He still was, thankfully, and with that I picked myself up to the first ledge.

Each step up was steeper and steeper. I could see why Patton fell. By the fifth step I was barely still holding on. The sixth one was quite a reach.

Well, if all else fails I end up with a broken bone and mild concussion. No time to ponder now though, we have taken too much valuable escape time already.

The steps were hard but I got to the final one eventually and used all my strength to make it up and out of the crater. Roman watched me the whole way and when I got to the top he helped Patton stand up. Patton was obviously uneasy about this but tried again anyways. He climbed up carefully yet quickly, Roman watched each movement of Patton's but I don't think anyone could watch as carefully as I was.

Patton made it to arms reach and reached for me slowly. I put my arm out to him and he took it gratefully. Roman started his way up while I pulled Patton up. He quickly got away from the edge without another word as I began to help Roman up just as we began to hear voices in the distance.

We didn't need to tell each other to run before we took off into the forest. This time Roman and I were both careful to not leave Patton behind. These people could be life threatening and we were not going to risk Patton's life, not if I had anything to say about it at least.

The pines thick branches covered in needles did not help our circumstances and only made things far worse for each of us. We constantly had to dodge away mid run so we wouldn't tri- Something came at us from below and tripped all three of us. A loud hiss came from a snake as it rose up in front of us. Its species was highly abnormal for a forest in Florida. We do not get false cobras anywhere near here seeing as how they are native to the Middle East. This one however was meer inches away from our faces.

Two people leaped out of the nearby brambles: Virgil and Remus from our earlier encounter. They both helped us up as if the cobra was an everyday thing. It must have actually been because Remus crouched down to pick the cobra up who didn't so much as flinch.

"Come on Dee! Into the bush!" The lunatic threw the cobra into the brambles. He THREW the cobra INTO the bush. Why in the world would he even throw a living creature?

The snake hissed in annoyance and most likely in some slight discomfort. From the bush rose Dee, the other member of their trio.

"Remus! What the fuck?!? That didn't hurt!" Didn't hurt? That was a lie. Did the snake bite him? If so he should probably get that looked at. Remus simply stuck his tongue out in response. Virgil pushed Remus into a bush and sighed, annoyed.

"Asshole... anyways you three made it out of the hole so I recommend you hide out here rather than keep running. The school will be the first place they check for any abnormalities." Roman pushed past Patton and I to loom over Virgil.

"Uh excUSE me? If you don't remember, Emoyore, you abandoned us in that pit to rot! You're lucky you are able to be graced with my precious face because we almost didn't make it! You should start explaining yourself or Zeus help me I will make you!" Virgil sighed and shrugged him off.

"Yeah yeah Princey, I'll explain later. If you value your freedom and don't want to end up like the Waluigi of us then I recommend hiding. Also here's a tip, work on your threats, tough guy."

Remus popped up from the ground with a big smile. "You called me Waluigi?!? I love it! I'm gonna start calling you Wario!" Virgil groaned.

"Please don't. Just everyone get into a hiding place and shut the hell up. Is nobody going to take an actual dangerous situation seriously?" Dee raised his hand.

"Uh I am?" Virgil shooed him off.

"Shut up, you got thrown in a bush. I'm exempting you." Wait they threw him in a bush before we got here? ...And then they threw a snake on him? Something didn't seem to add up but my thoughts didn't have time to make coherent sense of this situation before-

The voices came again and everyone immediately became silent. It felt strange after all the pointless arguing however they thankfully knew when to stop. Dee shrank down in his spot and Remus jumped in with him. A singular bush shouldn't be able to hold two adults but here we are.

Virgil on the other hand pulled his hood from his hoodie up and simply... vanished. Incredible, but certainly not the time to be in awe. Roman looked around for maybe two seconds before pointing up to the trees. That works.

Each of us picked a tree and climbed up it briskly. I was not used to having to use so much upper body strength in a short amount of time however when one is filled with adrenaline they are often capable of going beyond their limit. I had definitely reached mine already but I kept pushing forward.

When I got up as high as I could reach I tried to angle myself to sit on a branch but ended up more of kneeling on one while holding myself up with the trunk. The height was an advantage for us but hope quickly turned to fear (not much fear because I don't have emotions) when I saw an array of soldiers dressed like a SWAT team. They clearly weren't any of the government's employees, however, something told me that. Logically, I couldn't have known that but the human mind works in strange ways I suppose. Patton would know more about it than- move away from the branch. I quickly jumped to another branch as a bullet appeared from seemingly nowhere and struck the original position I was in.

Oh great, they're trying to kill us.

"Shoot em down! Careful not to hit his head or any vital organs!"

Okay they're not trying to kill us but this is probably worse.

I leaped behind the trunk as I heard two more guns release their bullets. Quick... think of a way out. Duck. I threw my body down on my current branch as a few bullets made holes in the unfortunate tree.

"You idiots! I said NOT THE ORGANS! We need him alive!"

Whoever that was is saving my life, giving me vital information, and definitely trying to capture me. It's a weird mix for sure. Are you going to get out of there or what? Okay I'm beginning to think that's not my own voice. Of course not, now get the fuck out of that tree and scram.

Another well timed jump and I made the mistake of stranding myself on a branch that would only take me downward to the unknown aggressors. Oh well good job. Hang on a mo, I'll get Virge. What? How? Okay, okay, okay, this is getting to my head. Just think, Logan.

A bullet grazed my arm, snapping me back into the moment. I took the risk and jumped downward where they could shoot me easier. It was a lot harder to move to where the bullets weren't going to be. By some miracle I kept up, however, knowing exactly where they would shoot next. I must have picked up on their behaviors or something.

The aggressors suddenly stopped firing at me and started shooting at some unseen object. From my angle it was just flora as far as I could see. This was no time to observe though. This was perfect timing to escape.

I jumped down the tree swiftly and once my feet hit the ground I jumped into a bush. They would be more likely to find me here, however this was the best I could guarantee for the time being.

Suddenly the guns stopped firing as each armored fighter looked at each other. In one second they coordinated their movements and shot each other down. I had never heard of anything like it. Everyone turning on each other for no reason and yet doing so in unison? Needless to say the attack on themselves was successful and every last one of them dropped dead.

Roman and Patton got down from their trees and stared at the scene, just as baffled as I surely. I joined their side, as did- wait when did Virgil get here? Never mind.

Speaking of Virgil, he was smiling. That is a rather odd reaction to dead bodies. "Well Remus you did quite a number on them. Thanks for getting me out of that. Anyways, what are we gonna do with the bodies?" Roman and Patton looked to Virgil in a strange mix of shock and confusion while I kept my emotions shoved down because this certainly was not the time for them. That being said I did cast him an interested glance. This explanation is going to be interesting.