#this might've been done already but i'd like to see peoples opinions

[amystarrstuff]

so, this is something i've noticed in fandom spaces and want to see how people ~generally~ feel regarding genderbends & genderswaps, especially if they are transgender themselves!

if there's a reason for why you like/dislike genderbends please share in the tags, this is something that genuinely interests me

[arlh0e]

Now that it’s done

Rating: we’ll call it PG-13 for explicit language

Warnings: Hozier x fem!Reader, angst, post-break-up, anger, lots of feelings, explicit language, francesca by Hozier, I might make you cry

Summary: you and andrew had been broken up for almost a year. Everything had been perfect in your relationship for years, but while he was touring for his second album, there was a lot of stress put on your relationship. Stress that unfortunately bubbled up into something which at the time couldn’t be fixed. So you left him. His newest album, ‘unreal unearth’ has been out for a few months and though you were a fan of his music, you hadnt been able to bring yourself to listen to it until now.

Everything about this felt wrong.

Though, you knew that Andrew released his music to the public for everyone to listen to, you still felt weird. He had written music about you before and you had listened to that but this was different. Anything from the new album would be about your break up.

It felt like an invasion of privacy considering the two of you hadn’t spoken since you left him.

You really didn’t know what to expect.

You weren’t sure how you’d feel is you listened and heard him singing about another girl. You were even less sure how you’d feel if you heard him singing about you.

You decided to say fuck it and just scroll through the whole album and pick the first song that caught your eye. A song titled ‘Francesca’ your heart dropped. What if thats the name of the girl he’s seeing? He never dropped your name publicly. Ever.

You click on it and immediately you’re met with the softest guitar melody. It made you think of the melodies he used to write when the two of you first started dating. One of the melodies he had said sounded like falling in love with you.

The memories brought tears to your eyes. The thought that he could have been writing about someone else so soon made you livid.

It had only been a year and while you were still just trying to pick up the pieces from having to leave the person who you thought you’d spend your life with, who you thought you would marry and bear his children, he was already writing love songs about other people. How dare he.

You waited a bit longer until you started hearing words though to form a concrete opinion.

‘Do you think I'd give up

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?’

Your mouth hung slightly agape. So he was seeing someone else. Someone who maybe had their doubts about him and he wrote this as a letter of convincing.

The confirmation that he was over you felt similar to him twisting the knife that was still in your chest (although you were the one who put it there, but it still hurt.)

‘Now that it's done

There's not one thing that I would change

My life was a storm, since I was born

How could I fear any hurricane?’

Oh.

And suddenly you were back in the mindset that you should not be listening to this.

He was pouring his heart out to you. Publicly of course, but you still shouldn’t be listening. This was private. It felt like you were reading a diary entry of his and once you started you couldn’t stop.

‘If someone asked me at the end

I'll tell them put me back in it

Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah

If I could hold you for a minute

Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah

I would still be surprised I could find you, darling

In any life

If I could hold you for a minute

Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah’

Everything inside of you wanted to break down and sob.

How long had he been thinking about this? More importantly did he still feel this way? Was he still sitting there wishing you had given him another chance?

You stared blankly at the wall for the as you listened to the rest. Everything he had to say was so perfect. It was a comfort to know that through all of the pain you felt leaving him, of wishing you hadn’t, but rationalizing your actions through blaming it on your loneliness.

You had broken up with him because of how hard him touring and constantly being away had been on you. Every single moment was agony, and after doing this with him twice through two albums and then with him constantly being in the US for interviews and to work with new bandmates, you broke. You left him. You had moved into your parent’s house and out of the house he had bought for the two of you in Ireland before he had even gotten home from his most recent trip. You left him with nothing but a note (a rather long one at that, all things considered, but a note nonetheless) explaining everything. You knew you couldn’t break up with him face to face. You would have pussied out and stayed.

If you had known, fully understood the utter devotion he felt toward you, even now, even after the way you had left, you never would have done so.

And just when you thought you would get through the entirety of this song unscathed, with just a few tears shed but no real damage done.

‘Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I.’

And that was all it took.

You weren’t even really in control of your own body as you stood and went to gather your things.

It was a 30 minute drive to the house you weren’t even sure he would be at.

As you walked to the car, you pondered for a moment giving him a call to ask if he was home, but thought better of it knowing he would ask about why you wanted to talk so suddenly. This was a conversation which needed to be had in person. You couldn’t’t let him talk you into having it over the phone. You wouldn’t let yourself be persuaded into taking the easy way out of an important conversation with him again. This was too important.

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. Even as you were driving, you couldn’t stop. This had broken every ounce of strength and pride left in you that had kept you away from him.

Only now were you realizing just how much energy this last year had taken out of you. You knew it would be hard even before you made the decision to leave, but you never imagined the toll it would take on you after you had done it.

Every once of free time you had was taken up by thoughts of him. If you weren’t working, you had been looking for every distraction you could. Whether it be spending time with your friends and family or going to a bar to meet a new boy who you’d take home, talk to for a few days, but ultimately never met for a second time.

Your friends had even gone as far as to start calling them your “flavor of the week”, a name which, while fitting for what you had been doing, still didn’t hurt any less.

You wondered in passing if any of your friends had told him about the volume of your personal conquests. He wouldn’t have cared of course, you knew all too well that he wasn’t above a few one night stands in order to get over a break up. He’d probably slept with his fair share of people over the course of the last year as well, but you still didn’t want him to know.

Your thoughts were going a mile a minute as you drove the familiar route to your former lovers house. Your former house.

The thought of seeing even the front of the house made you feel ill. You hadn’t been back since you left and you weren’t ever planning on it.

You felt the need to throw up as you turned into the dirt road that led to the house. You remembered going to visit this house with him when you first started tossing around the idea of you moving into a house with him. You remember knowing that it was perfect from the moment you saw it. You remember how you went around the house describing the life you pictured the two of you living in that house. You remember all the remodeling the two of you did to make sure that your home would be perfect. You remember the extra room upstairs, which you thought you’d be turning into a nursery at some point.

Your stomach lurched the closer and closer you came to the driveway.

There was nothing else out here, and even from a ways out you could see that the lights were on inside that house.

So he is home.

Your breath became shaky as you pulled into the drive next to his car.

The walk up to the door felt like it took ages. Your shaking hand reached to ring the doorbell.

Silence.

You frantically wiped away your tears which were still falling. You thought for a moment about what he would think looking at you after all this time, crying on his porch, sopping wet from the rain, shivering from the cold and the anxiety that racked your entire body.

You thought for a moment about ringing the bell again, or maybe knocking this time. You were utterly impatient, you needed him to answer the door before you turned and ran.

You reached out and opened the screen door, quickly attempting to knock on the interior door at the same time that it swings open.

“Oh um… hey.” You blurt out. You mentally give yourself the beating of a lifetime for how awkward you’re being.

Looking up at him, you can see that his hair is a lot longer, and his beard, while still the same length is a lot fuller. You briefly remember what it was like to run your fingers across the stubbly skin of his face.

His eyes are full of concern as he looks down at you, noticing the tears and how absolutely sopping wet you are from the rain. “Hey, are you okay? Come inside, Jesus.”

He grabs your arm gently and guides you inside. You’re sobbing still and tremors are wracking through your body while you look up at him. “I just- I uh-“

“Hey, it’s alright.” He laughs a little bit “let’s get you calmed down first, do you want some tea or anything? I still have a box of that jasmine tea you like.” You sniffle a bit and nod, looking down and making eye contact only with your feet. This was ridiculously embarrassing. “With honey still?” You started crying a bit harder as he recalls how you like your tea. After a year he still remembers how you like your fucking tea.

You follow behind him, still shaking and take a seat at the kitchen island while he starts the water and hands you a mug. Your favorite mug.

Fuck.

You took a moment to calm yourself down while he stood across from you, pouring the water, wrapping the string of the tea bag around the handle, squeezing just the right amount of honey into the mug and then handing it to you with a smile.

By the time he’s done, you’ve managed to calm down enough to talk to him.

“I just wanted to talk I guess.” You cant look up from your tea. You’re still crying but it’s slowed to a steady trickle now as opposed to violent sobs.

“About what?” He sounded genuinely interested. Or concerned. Or both.

“I uh…” You take a deep breath in to calm yourself. “I listened to Francesca…” your voice was small, quiet enough that you weren’t sure he would hear you.

“Oh. Thats what all this is about?” He moves from his position leaning against the counter and walks around the island to sit next to you.

You felt as if the whole world was spinning and suddenly you went from not being able to say anything at all to everything coming out at once.

“I don’t know, Andrew, if I had known I would’ve at least called. I would’ve tried to figure it out, I-” I pull my hand up over my mouth like it would help hold in the tears and choked sobs that had returned. “I left because I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I dint know, I didn’t think it would matter, especially not now I just…” you let out a deep sigh. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He lets out a small chuckle and reaches over to pat my shoulder. “It’s okay. I did always joke around with Alex that if you ever left me it would be because I got stupid and probably deserved it.” He gets up and goes back to the kitchen with my mug to wash it. “I’m really happy to see you though. I missed having you around if nothing else.”

“Yeah, I miss you too…” you were still just barely whispering. You did miss him. You wanted to come back. You wanted him to let you come back. “I really fucking did it this time didn’t I?” I laughed through your tears.

“I don’t think so.” He shrugged and moved back over to you. “I think you did what you needed to do so that you could be happy.” He shrugged. “I could never be upset with you for that. I never was. Not even for a moment.” You look up to see him smiling down at you. It’s sad, you can almost see the memories of the two of you flashing through his eyes as they turn glassy.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you had.” You shrug. It was true. Nothing about this situation was okay, and it was all because you hadn’t seen how he felt about you while you had him.

“Well, apology accepted. You don’t need to feel bad. And for the record that song wasn’t meant to guilt trip you.” He laughs.

“I never thought that it was.” I sigh. Of course he thought you were just here because you felt bad. “I fucking hate this. I hate not talking to you, Ive been fucking torturing myself not calling you or showing up here. I can’t fucking do this shit anymore.” You sigh. This was a stupid idea. Of course he thought you were just here to apologize how fucking idiotic were you to think that you could come in here, apologize and everything would be okay again.

“I um… I should go. I shouldn’t’t have come it’s late I’m really sorry to bother you.” You shake your head and quickly stand to make a quick exit. His hand flies up to your wrist to stop you.

“Please stay.” His eyes are gentle and he’s standing so close. “I meant every word that I said. I’m not upset. I never was.” He pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

You didn’t think you were capable of crying this much in one night. Being so close to him brought it all out again, sobs were racking through your entire body. He still smelled exactly as you remembered. He was so comforting and yet this was the least comfortable experience you had ever been through. “I just want to come back.” You were back to whispering again. You almost hoped he hadn’t heard you.

“Then come back.” You froze. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting, but you’re sure it wasn’t that.

You think about it for a moment. The thought is tempting of course, every fiber of your being wants to tell him yes. But then the thought passes through your mind that with the new album you knew he’d be leaving again soon. The thought made you visibly tense.

“The option is always there. No matter how much time passes, I’ll always want you here.” He places a small kiss onto the top of your head.

“You’re leaving again.” You sigh, but you don’t pull away.

“Yes. In a few weeks.” You can hear the way his mood shifts and all hope you had given him leaves again. “But I swear I’ll figure it out though. I’ll come home more, I’ll call more, fuck you can come with us, I’ll make up some bull shit position you can have on the team so I have an excuse to pay you so you don’t have to worry about your job if you want, I swear it’ll be different this time.” He’s not even trying to hide the panic in his voice.

“Yeah, okay.” You relax into his arms and take a few deep breaths. You’re still crying a bit but you’re more calm now, with everything settled.

You’re not sure where to go from here. Do you just start over from scratch, or do you pick up where you left off? You pull away from him a little bit to look up at him. You cant remember the last time you saw him look at you with such adoration. His smile was small, barely noticeable, but still the same goofy smile you remembered.

“Your hair is a lot longer now.” You giggle a bit and reach up to run your fingers through the ends of his curls. “I like it.” You smile.

“Yeah? I honestly just stopped wanting to put in the effort to get it cut.” He laughs, his hand coming to hold the side of your face. You lean into his touch and close your eyes.

“Yeah, thats sounds about right.” You giggle and open your eyes. “And your beard is more full now too.” You reach up with both hands to feel the sides of his face.

You really missed this. Everything about him was just so comforting. You felt at peace, at home for the first time since you had left.

“Do you wanna stay here tonight?” He asks quietly. “You can borrow some of my clothes, it’s just raining really hard, and you’re too upset to be driving in weather like that.” He smiles down at you.

You laugh a bit “We’ve been back together for all of five minutes and you’re already asking me to stay over Andrew, what would your mother think?” You tsk at him and smile. He already knows the answer is yes of course.

“Oh please. You of all people know that my mother would be ecstatic to know that you were sleeping over again.”

So anyways, I had a lot of fun writing this, even though it was a little sad. I love this man, enjoy <3

[kyotakumrau]

2022.06 PHY vol.21 - Kyo interview

text: Higuchi Yasuyuki

translation: kyotaku

please buy the magazine if you're able to! cdjapan ・ amazon.jp ・ hmv

let me know if you notice any typos and other mistakes; (my comments)

-- What kind of album do you think it is?

京   One where you get it's DIR EN GREY just by listening to the intro, a strong one.

-- I had this unwavering feeling that as long as it's these five people any sound will be DIR EN GREY.

京   I think whichever song you listen to, you will soon be able to get that this is DIR EN GREY. But it was hard to find the final compromise [for us]. Compared to before it was different, we couldn't play shows, it took more time than before to record, even as we had many songs we didn't see the final goal for a long time. Moreover, we don't really talk [with each other].

-- That's true.

京    We were moving forward without having talks like 'let's do that with this'. That's why I think it was difficult to find a place where all 5 of us were overlapping as everyone was searching like 'which way?'

-- Did you have a specific vision like 'next I want to do this'?

京   Personally I had. I already said this earlier, but something rich which makes you realize it's DIR EN GREY already on a short listen. Previously, the album had very intense melodies/tunes, so with more emphasis on the worldview I wanted to express better the curent DIR EN GREY. Moreover there are already some albums with worldviews, so something not similar.

-- I already felt from the first song 'this is different from the previous works'. Was that your aim from the beginning?

京   It wasn't my aim, but I remember that I said 'I want a long song(s)'. It's the lowest number of tracks we had on the album so far. There's also no SE, but I think it ended up as something with a richness we haven't had before.

-- I think each of your past works don't belong/connect to each other, but this time it's an album that seems to extracts up to now DIR EN GREY's strong points. Yet, I feel like you didn't make it this way with this in mind, it became like this naturally.

京   Naturally... well it might've been like that, but that worries me in a way.

-- Worries? Why?

京    When something that only that person has comes out naturally I think it's really wonderful. But in my case, I can't be satisfied with that, the another me says 'you're not this kind of amazing person'. Like 'don't coddle yourself'.

-- Your usual pessimistic (I'm trash) ideology.

京   Yup. That's why this time I tried out different things when singing.

-- I really noticed that. That you tried some styles you haven't done before.

京   Being in a band for this long, 'Kyo from DIR EN GREY' is established, I feel that everyone would be fine if I just rehashed the things I've done before, but I wouldn't. I can't stand it if I don't pursuit yet newer ways of expressions. Actually, I'd prefer it if I didn't have to do it. It would be easier.

-- Like, it'd be fine to do that.

京    I would really be okay with that, but the other me wouldn't allow that. That's why I want to test myself more.

-- Your singing this time left the impression of becoming this album's personality/identifying element. For example the way you used falsetto in '13' is very distinctive.

京    But if you just listen to the voice itself it's really strange, there's a part that sounds like a joke. 'Mouai ni shosu' and 'Otogi' were like that, it involved a lot of trial and error to not let them sound like that (like a joke) and allow them to fit well.

-- A quick listen left a dark and heavy impression, but in a way it's an album of songs (as opposed to instrumental pieces). So it's easy to enter the album's worldview.

京   Ah, the sound is maniac/fiend, but I guess it's easy to listen to.

-- But in fact, I feel like I received/interpreted something positive from your songs.

京   That's... an unusual opinion.

-- Really?

京    Well, I can't really put myself in the audience' shoes, so I don't know. I just want to say that the thing I was shouting stopped feeling fesh or interesting. For example in the case of the 1st song 'Schadenfreude', until now I'd be shouting in the heavy parts of the song, but this time I'm attacking with the melody. In 'Perfume of Sins' as well, in the part where usually would be singing there's none. Changing things with things like that, naturally the amount of shouting decreased. You get a positive feeling from those things, right?

-- There's also lyrics. For example in your previous lyrics, there were many songs where the singing directs the anger and hatred towards oneself, but this time I think there's also connection with the different singing stance or direction.

京   That's true. This time it's... more of a panoramic/holistic feel.

-- It is. Before you were writing lyrics with questions to oneself or hurting oneself, but it's not like that this time.

京   It's not, right? If I had to say it's more like 'actually everyone has feelings like those right? Usually everyone hides them but everyone has them, right?'

-- So in other words, there's a nuance of trying to find a camaraderie. This might be why it gives you positive feeling.

京   But it wasn't done on purpose at all. I don't want to share feelings with someone like in 'I want everyone to think like this'. That's not what I'm hoping for.

-- It felt like singing to someone who was a lot like yourself. If someone like that heard the song it'd feel like you were saved.

京   Well... if there was a person like that it'd be nice, but I don't have feelings like 'it's for that person' or 'there must be someone who thinks the same'. I'm not holding any expectations towards other people or should I say I'm not asking for anything.

-- What do you mean by not asking for anything?

京   For example fans would say things like 'I'll follow you for my whole life!', right? In the past I was someone who took that very seriously. But, then in some point of that whole life they leave. And with people who said 'I'll be writing a letter everyday!' after a month there's no more letters coming. That's why... I don't want to have any expectations towards people, like 'that's how it is'. I was the wrong one asking too much of other people. So it's something I'm doing out of self-centeredness (thinking of myself).

-- So you're saying you're now living your life without taking a glimpse of how other people are feeling.

京   But, just a little bit somewhere, I might be having just a tiny 1mm of expectations.

-- I think that's natural. It's simply a human nature to keep asking and expecting even if you have been disappointed or have given up somewhere.

京   But I'm trying not to think like that. I want to be more self-centered.

-- This part of not wanting to hold any expectations towards people, it's like this loneliness-like thing is breeding through in some places. I feel like this kind of feeling is also on the album.

京   I guess that's what a band is all about. For example, even as we had a huge show in Budokan, when I get back home and eat by myself, I feel 'what was all of that?'. I think 'was all of what just happened a dream?'

-- The loneliness gets born there. A bit like, even as there were so many people there for me, now I'm all alone.

京   For fans the feeling is probably similar. After the show ends and they are pulled back into reality, it feels like '...huh?'. It's probably the same.

-- That's true.

京   There might be some connection through that part I guess. Depending on the person, for some the 'we've played at Budokan!' or 'we've sold this many CDs' kind of achievements might give them confidence, but I'm not like that. I really would like to be.

-- But I think those are lyrics of someone who cannot become like that (laughing).

京   Hahahahaha. But, that's kinda why I'm doing things thinking about myself. Be it the new music or shows.

-- Even if you do things thinking about yourself, why do you think you're able to continue the band for 25 years and release new music?

京   Uhm... often I'm envied by people like my kouhai (younger colleagues/musicians). They say 'it's great you can do things you enjoy'. But it's just that I've been lucky. I've been blessed with a good timing/period, band members, label, just that, the rest is the same with everyone else. It's not like I'm someone great, there's no reason to be envious of me.

-- I understand what your kouhai say. From the third person's perspective, you're someone who knows properly what you want to do and pushes to get it. And because of that there's a chance people around you might be bothered by it, that they might think it's troublesome or selfish. Even so there are still people around you because you're better than that.

京   Is that what people think?

-- At least that's what I think (laughing).

京   That's... well, I'm happy.

-- I thought why it is easy to enter the album's worldview is because you can express yourself without any pretending.

京   Ah... that's true. One thing I can say, no matter if it's Kyo in DIR EN GREY or Kyo in sukekiyo, I can only let out my real self. The truth is, I'd love to be able to have an on and off button and express in front of people a completely made up self, but I can't.

-- No matter what, the you who is the root/foundation will end up coming out.

京    The only way I can do it is to express myself by cutting off the part of myself and throwing it. Moreover, for the musician me and everyday me to be as close as possible is really hard, and with that it's also hard to deal/interact with people. Even if I lay myself bare doesn't necessarily mean other people will respond. That's how I've always been feeling.

-- I think it's not only you, everyone is like that in this band. You're the kind of people who are just not able to make music that would lie to the current you even if you wanted to.

京   That's true.

-- It's a good point of this band. At last, let me ask you how did you end up with the album title PHALARIS.

京   We're thinking about the title when the songs are all together, and this one fitted the image the best. I researched various torture tools and this is the one I wouldn't want to experience the most.

-- It was apparently made by a man named Phalaris.

京   In those days tortures were carried out in front of the people. They treated this tragic event as something to throw a revelry/loud celebrations for. When I was reminded about a scene like this I thought that a lot of distasteful bits people usually hide will come out there.

-- It's good to ask/hear story like this one from the person who chose to use such a terrible thing as an album title (laughing).

京   ......is that so?

[sanrielle]

I see a lot of chatter in fandom spaces about how Toph would never have become a cop and I have OPINIONS about it, so please allow me to scream them into the void.

Firstly, her reasons for becoming a cop might've been similar to the ones that led her to join the war:

-Avoiding boredom. Toph needs to be doing something important. She loves being important. And she would love chasing bad guys through the city with metal cables. She would love the hunt, the detective work, and the interrogation with her truth sense. She would LOVE being the boss and telling her underlings what to do, and she would love being the authority who gets to enforce the laws (you know, whatever they are...).

-Strong sense of justice. At no point during her time with the Gaang in AtLA did she give any indication that she wasn't fully invested in bringing peace back to the world. She'd want the same thing when living in crime-infested Cranefish Town/Republic City.

-Stickin' it to her parents. I have no doubt that Toph ran away at least partly because she knew it would piss her parents off, and I also have no doubt that she knew that they would be horrified by the thought of her working as a police officer. I think it's safe to say she might've gotten some satisfaction from that, regardless of her age.

Which brings me to my second point: People aren't the exact same person they were when they were twelve. "But she has that episode where she does a bunch of illegal things!" Yeah, and when I was fifteen, I wanted to marry Legolas. What's your point?

Finally, the request to start a metalbending police force would likely have come from either Aang, Sokka, or both. Let's be real: she probably would've done anything Sokka asked her to do. And they would've said 'If you don't do it, someone else will.'

How would our girl have reacted to the idea of someone else stealing her thunder? Any guesses?

All that said, I fully believe she would've grown to hate the job more often than not, especially when it came down to bureaucratic BS that she didn't care about.

I'd be willing to bet that, after Lin was born, Toph was raring to do something, anything besides be pregnant and take care of a newborn 24/7. And she probably didn't have a clue how to be a mother, so it's very likely she would've hired a nanny to do it for her so she could go back to what she already knew she was good at (her job).

Now, I'm firmly in the 'Toph loved her daughters to absolute bits' camp. I just think she didn't know how to be an effective parent and communicate well. Then when Lin started to get older and Su came along, resentment began to grow and Toph retreated to the familiarity of her job where the rules were clear and everything made sense.

But eventually, the strain became too much and she was faced with choosing between the job and her daughter's entire future. And maybe she made the wrong choice. Maybe she didn't. Maybe her whole life felt a little like that, where every decision she made felt wrong but it was the best she knew and she accepted whatever consequences they brought.

[mayrarcjas]

Mayra x Zack

located in the Community Center kitchen.

Zack Astor

-he walks into the kitchen, looking to drop off some venison he and David just caught; as he walks in, he catches sight of Mayra- Hey, you know where they store the meat?

mayra.

-without looking up from her work station, mayra nodded toward the back of the kitchen- There's a big chest freezer in the back you could fit it in. -finally she looked up to see zack. from years of experience, mayra managed to keep her composure.-

Zack Astor

Alright. -makes his way into the back to deposit the meat into the freezer-

mayra.

-from her peripheral, mayra watched zack haul the meat toward the back to the freezer. quietly she moved the cleaver closer, just in case. she'd seen the damage he'd done to isaac - mayra wasn't sure if he was above putting hands on a woman as well.- Thanks for the catch. -her voice stayed firm with the same gratefulness she threw to david and jake whenever they'd bring back hunted game.-

Zack Astor

You're welcome. -he responds, closing the freezer before making his way out from the back; as he steps out, he directs his glance at her- By the way. Just remembering - did the council talk to you yet?

mayra.

-she knew it was coming; zack seemed like the kind of person to try to poke any wound or sensitive topic whenever he damn well pleased. like a mean girl from high school wanting to stir shit up for the hell of it.- They did. -mayra kept her words clipped with ike's words spinning in her head to not confront zack. but if he confronted her ... that might've been a loophole-

Zack Astor

Oh really. What did they say? Humor me, Mayra.

mayra.

-finally she looked up at him, her disgust for the man clearly written in her expression.- I don't think I will.

Zack Astor

Ah. -he grins slightly- Must suck for the real world to hit you, huh? When you've been nothing but spoiled by everyone.

mayra.

-she nods at him, a sarcastic smirk growing- Sure.

Zack Astor

-he considers her for a moment before chuckling- Good. Now, I got places to be, princess. Tell Ike hi for me, will you?

mayra.

-she grips onto the cleaver handle, feeling her rage shake within her core.- On that note. -she threw the cleaver toward him, purposefully missing him but it piercing the dry wall.- If you have an issue with me, come take it up with me. Ike didn't deserve what you did to him. -she pulled the drawer open, pulling out another knife in case zack thought to get near her-

Zack Astor

he turns around, stepping to the side instinctively as she flings her knife; he raises an eyebrow at her- Eh, debatable. And I doubt I would've gotten through that thick skull of yours myself. -he grins- You don't seem like the type who understand that she's being a fucking dumbass.

mayra.

That goes to know you don't know shit.

Zack Astor

Oh really? Well I'll be damned. Guess sometimes you get the wrong impression of people. -he puts his hands in his pockets as he regards her- Do you regret any of it?

mayra.

Of course I do. -she answered truthfully, keeping the knife handle tightly fisted- I know I put this place at risk all because I was selfish. And I'll spend the rest of my time here trying to make it up to everyone whether they know about it or not. But hurting others because of my selfishness doesn't make sense. -mayra sighed- I know the answer to this already, but I'll ask anyway: If you have an issue with me, take it up with me, okay? Don't go beating on others to prove a point or whatever reason you had for beating the shit out of Ike. Despite whatever opinion you have of me, I'm not a porcelain doll. I can take it.

Zack Astor

Are you sure? Because when I was talking to Ike, he couldn't even be sure whether you were sorry or not. -he stares at her- Oh princess, don't get me wrong. I'd beat the fucking shit out of you if I thought it'd get me anywhere. This wasn't an act of consideration or something. I truly didn't think anything would get through to you. Considering how you didn't even have the damn balls to own up to anything. And Ike just took it, too. Whatever's going on between you - sounds like it fucking sucks.

mayra.

We didn't exactly have a lot of time to talk about it. -mayra scoffed, thankful she listened to her instincts in grabbing another knife- For the record, Ike told me to keep quiet. And maybe I was stupid to listen to him, but I did. But now the people who need to know, know. Now, can we move on from this? Or this something that you'll hold over my head? I promise I don't need a chaperone ... unless you're volunteering.

Zack Astor

That was pretty fucking stupid. -he scoffs- Of course he's gonna tell you to keep quiet. And that just so happens to be the one time you listen to him, isn't it? When not listening would have negative consequences for you. -he grins, tilting his head- He's babying you. They all are. I'm the one who's not.

mayra.

Fine. I'm spoiled - that's okay for you to think that. Just be the one to not baby me, to me, and leave others out of it.

Zack Astor

I'll do what I damn want. -he shrugs- If you regret it, work for it.

mayra.

Yeah, we both know that. -mayra rolled her eyes, letting out a soft breath. she said her peace and quickly grew tired of the conversation.- I'm going to continue preparing the town's soup. If you want to take first shift of chaperoning, you're welcome to help me. If not, you know where the door is. -she used the knife to point towards it.- Good talk.

Zack Astor

Watch your damn mouth. -he makes his way over to the cupboard to take out some peanut butter- Last time I checked, this wasn't your kitchen. So I'll take my time and make myself some food. Good talk.

mayra.

-mayra bit down the urge to say 'make me', knowing it would probably prompt something she promised to not get into. watching him grab the peanut better, she used the knife to point to the opposite counter.- There's freshly made bread over there if you want something with that. -there was no way mayra was going to have her back to zack and instead moved to the other side of her workstation, leaving the long table to separate them. she carefully placed the knife next to her, keeping it at an easy reach.-

Zack Astor

-he notices her switch in position and chuckles to himself before he casts a glance at the bread- Who made that?

mayra.

Ember and I had hands in it. Making bread is a bit of a process. -mayra ping ponged her gaze between zack and the potatoes she began to cut-

Zack Astor

-he looks at the bread before shaking his head- Nah. I don't trust your ass enough to not do something dumb and try to poison me. -he puts the peanut butter back and instead pulls out a can of canned goulash- You're into that witch crap, seems on brand for you.

mayra.

-she smiles at his comment, taking slight pride, and snickers- Please. -she stopped her movements, giving him a pointed looked- If I wanted to poison you, you’d be poisoned already. Something so obvious like me pointing out bread is a little on the nose. -she resumes her potato cutting-

Zack Astor

-he huffs, slightly amused- Yeah right. Look, when Nicki tells me that I'd be dead if she wanted, I'm gonna take that seriously. When you do it? Not so much. You probably haven't even killed a walker in your lifetime.

mayra.

You can believe whatever picture you’ve painted of me. I’m not going to stop you.

Zack Astor

I will, thank you. I usually found I'm a damn good judge of character. -he opens up the can, takes a spoon and begins eating his meal, deliberately taking his time-

mayra.

Mmm -she said nothing else but made a ‘sure, jan’ face- So, I take it you were military? Marines, maybe?

Zack Astor

I was. -despite his delibaretly slow pace, he's already halfway through the can; He looks up and narrows his eyes- Why do you wanna know?

mayra.

-she kept her gaze on the task at hand and shrugged- Genuinely curious. I heard you and Ermano go back. Is that true?

Zack Astor

We served together. -he seems a little bit weary of her questions- Until he joined the Black Ops at least.

mayra.

-her brows rose, not knowing that tid-bit of information about ermano- Black Ops? That's intense. -mayra placed her knife down, gathering the cut pieces of potato and placed them in the large metal bowl next to her- You didn't want to go with him or what that too much for you?

Zack Astor

-his eyes narrow and he puts the can down; he pushes himself away from the counter taking a few steps towards Mayra- What did I say about watching your mouth?

mayra.

-quickly the woman picked up the knife, holding it in front of herself- And people say I'm touchy. It was a simple question, there's no need to be defensive when I meant no malice. -mayra watched him carefully, narrowing her eyes at him- Why is that? Why are you so quick to be defensive? Again, a simple question meant with no ill intent behind it.

Zack Astor

-he grins, slightly amused- You're the who got the knife, princess. -he tilts his head slightly, returning her gaze, unwavering- You ain't my people, princess. Don't talk to me like you are. Now, can I get some damn salt for my food from the cupboard behind you, or are you gonna stab me for that?

mayra.

The knife is insurance. I saw Ike. You, yourself, said you had no problem beating my ass. If that happens, I'd like to at least go down swinging. -she lowered the knife and turned to get the salt from the cupboard. she placed it on the table between them- And I'm not talking to you like you're 'my people', I'm talking to you like you're a person.

Zack Astor

Is that how you talk to Ike too? -he chuckles- Damn, you must be the best fuck in the world or something, because I have no idea why else he's putting up with you.

mayra.

Not at all. -she shook her head, pinching her tongue between her teeth- Guess we'll never figure it out, huh. -mayra leans back against the counter behind her, arms folding across her chest and, yes, still holding the knife.-

Zack Astor

-he shrugs- Guess we won't. -he grabs the salt and returns to his food- If you wanna find out more about Ermano, go talk to him. Not me.

mayra.

I wasn't asking about Ermano, I was asking about you. -she stays where she was- Question was, why didn't you transfer with him to Black Ops? And then I asked if they were too much for you which prompted you to threaten me. -mayra shrugs- If you didn't want to answer, you could've just said so. -pushing off from the counter, mayra moved to the bowl, putting the remainder of the cut potatoes in it-

Zack Astor

No reason for you to know anything more, princess. And even less reason for me to tell you any more. -he goes back to eating, seemingly unbothered-

mayra.

So is this really you chaperoning me?

Zack Astor

Nope. Just eating my food. -he finishes it and leaves the empty can on the counter, alongside his dirty silverware as he makes for the exit- Good talk, princess. Seems like you haven't changed a bit. I was really hoping you might.

mayra.-she scoffed, following behind Zack, keeping a distance- You're lying to yourself if you think you're a good judge of character. But you do you, think whatever you wanna think. Have the day you deserve. -she flashed one more smile before slamming the door in his face, quickly locking it- Fucking dickhead.

@zackastor

[bearpillowmonster]

She-Hulk Episode 1

Just call it She-Hulk, we already know she's an attorney. I've waited for She-Hulk's appearance for a long time because I myself am a She-Hulk fan. I liked the Hulk as a kid but felt that more recent iterations of him are very bland and not what I look for in Hulk media, it's hard to get right in a live action format but I felt like She-Hulk might've been a little easier to swallow.

So this one had a bad reputation before release, from people judging it without seeing it, people spoiling it without seeing it, people who clearly have no idea who She-Hulk is but are criticizing it anyway, behind the scenes drama and just all around bad vibes, just look at some of this.

So apparently we need to be inclusive...about CGI...wtf. But because of this and the kind of poor trailers and overselling and rebranding, I've felt like this was doomed to fail but I was onboard regardless despite low expectations.

Anyways, the actual episode, it's not that bad. It's short, probably the shortest of any MCU show intro with only 35 minutes (actually only around 30 because the credits take so long with D+)

But it's setting itself up to be a Monster of the Week show and I'm perfectly okay with that, I want an episode to episode basis to do with Hulk. This episode is indeed Hulk. It's cool to see how he dealt with being Smart Hulk and the Blip and losing Tony and all that jazz.

Now the origin is a bit odd because originally she needed an emergency blood transfusion and Bruce had to be the donor (comics). I could see a lot done with that plot, with Bruce trying to wrestle with the idea with making Jen a freak like himself but saving her life and saving lives is what he does since he's a hero. But they take that, shoot it out the window and turn it into "While driving with Bruce, a spaceship came down and caused Jen to pull off the road and flip the car down a hill. She's alright, she just as a few scratches but Bruce gets hurt and some of his blood drips into her wound." Which is really dumb. That spaceship is later said to be a courier ship with a message that they never mention or bother to investigate. It will probably become relevant at some point but let's be honest, it probably won't be until the end of the show or an after credits scene which is even dumber.

The fourth wall breaks are...interesting, it makes me feel like I'm watching a stupid modern sitcom, I just feel like they can be much better. Rather than her commentating and say "Here's the story of my life." I'd rather her be in the middle of a battle and quip or something. I know these comics and this story are practically know for fourth wall breaks so by all means, let's have them but I still can't shake that sitcom vibe.

The CGI for this episode specifically wasn't bad in my opinion, a lot of recent Marvel CGI has been poor but this is only the first episode, I'm sure we have more to come but I'm hoping due to backlash they've fixed it.

You already knew it was going to do a feminist take, I didn't need to tell you that and you didn't need to act surprised so there are a few scenes where she gets catcalled or talks about getting catcalled but it was within a tolerable range for me, I think they made them just shove that in there to appease the masses so it's just whatever. I'm not against making her a feminist but there are far more interesting ways to do it, the way its done here is just a trope at this point but again, I expected it so I'm not going to complain.

All in all, not too bad though, hopefully it keeps at least this good despite a few fumbles within the plot and just random things taking place.

[onewholivesinloops]

ask meme. will go for someone off centre from the obvious ones and say: shinji

Thank you for the ask my mutual who I totally don't talk to everyday on Discord dot com. First impression

Okay this is probably really stupid but my first impression of Shinji is that guy everyone rags on for "refusing to get into the robot", then I watched the first episode and... well... surprise, surprise he actually got into the robot! Sure he was coerced by his dad who threatened to make an injured Rei do it in his place, but what matters is that he eventually did. He might've been reluctant at first but that's nothing if not a realistic and justified reaction for a 14 year old boy with so much baggage (and even if he were the healthiest mentally I imagine he'd still be scared and I wouldn't blame him). When I see people ranting about fandom demonizing child or teenage characters with realistic trauma responses I'm always like "yeah Shinji is definitely one of the biggest example" and the first episode was more than enough to prove this to me?

Impression now

Uhhh... Shinji is good! Shinji is great! Definitely up there in terms of the most solid protagonists from all anime I've seen! Woo! Yeah! Time to pack this one up--okay I know I'm supposed to say actual meaningful words here, but I'm struggling because there's no way there's anything I can say that hasn't been said by other people who know the series way better than I do. I guess if there's anything I appreciate about Shinji, it's the fact that he's such a realistic representation for depression and how it can lead people down a rabbit-hole of wallowing in their own self-hatred and isolation instead of wanting to form relationships with other people? I feel like anyone who's experienced depression can relate to that to an extent, so I can definitely understand why so many people connect with him even if I'm not a Shinnie (<- if anyone takes this out of context to say something like "sounds like something a Shinnie would say" I'm beating them up). He definitely has some of Gendo's traits like the stubborness, self-centeredness, and single-minded pursuit of anything that protects his worldview from any criticism, but he's nowhere near as bad as his father and he's not a bad person even if he does some questionable or even downright terrible things sometimes. If anything he's really selfless unlike Gendo and a huge part of why he's chronically depressed is because he keeps worrying about other people's wants and needs instead of his own.

Favorite moment

The one where Gendo orders him to destroy Unit-03 and Shinji refuses because the fourth child (aka Touji) is inside, but Gendo overrides him and does it is one of the scenes that hit that hardest for me. Also every interaction with Kaworu because I really want him to be happy after everything he's gone through.

Idea for a story

I don't really have any in particular, but I feel like he's suffered enough in the original series, manga and rebuild so if I had the choice I'd just give him a slice of life series where he gets to live a normal life for once.

Unpopular opinion

I don't know how much of unpopular opinion this one is, but I've seen plenty of people go "Shinji is such a great character! What, the hospital scene? Yeah we don't talk about this one because it's unnecessary and it sucks" aaaaaaand... I really disagree? Like don't get me wrong, I hate this scene as much as the next person and what I hate even more is the memes people make about it, but I think it still served a purpose in terms of plot progression and showing the absolutely miserable state Shinji was in at the time after everything that happened in the original series. It's one of the very rare moments where Shinji willingly made a decision without anyone there telling him what he's supposed to do, and it's the single worst thing he's ever done, which causes him to spiral downwards further and confirms to himself his already negative view of himself. I don't think his behavior throughout EoE would've made as much sense without it and maybe they could've conveyed this point through something less gross, but it's not treated lightly so from a writing standpoint I don't really mind it?

Favorite relationship

Shinji has plenty of interesting character dynamics so it's hard to choose just one, but in terms of romance Kawoshin is the only one I'd gun for ngl. They're both in love and are at their happiest with each other, need I say more? I could go into more depth, but they both provide each other with what they need most. Kaworu provides Shinji with the love and affection he's never received, while Shinji provides the Kaworu who's been isolated from the world with the personal connection that gives meaning to his life (then he let Shinji live so he can have the chance to find happiness instead of himself and I cried). Their relationship is built on genuine love and interest in such a way that's really refreshing because Shinji's relationship with the women in his life is so, uh, complicated? This isn't me calling their relationship shallow or anything and they both still have some flaws that they need to overcome before their relationship can be considered "healthy". It's just that Shinji is more compatible with Kaworu than he is with any of the others. It might've been short-lived but it still managed to elicit a strong emotional and intimate connection imo and they get more time with each other in rebuilds, mainly in 3.0 and a little bit in 3.0+1.0.

Favorite headcanon

I'm not good at those so I'm just gonna say I'd like to believe Asuka punched him after the credits of EoE because of what he did.

[xoteajays]

Oh! Before I forget.. I found pictures of the logos for the gangs in H&L since I know you're trying to make your own logos for your characters so that might help you. And really be knowledgeable about the logos.

So I will definitely send those pictures to you after I send my message in case you might want to see the logos. If you're curious about that...

~

So I can imagine the fighting and even killing situation because every black widow character is like that. But the hostess club.. That is really different. Or maybe not. All black widow women seduce before killing their target, in most media, as the typical stereotype to the character.

That wouldn't be too far off with that concept. But that concept really does remind me off Black Sails.. There's a brothel. The prostitutes are seducing, manipulation, information from the customers to sell those informations for money. But as a black widow, they could possibly kill those men (or women) if they become too problematic in some ways.

The Black Widow Spiders Vs The White Wolves.. Since the wolf would be the Rascal's animal motif. That seems like an interesting concept.

And if I am being honest.. I have felt that way when the White Rascals were first introduced. Maybe the slight feminism in me but I am not a feminist in any way though. Like I do respect Rocky's traditional value of wanting to protect women (or whoever else) for being that helpless person who would need help. But, at the same time, as a woman that also happens to be smaller than average women.. a short woman... I'd say that I do get annoyed that people are protective of me whenever I met someone bigger than me, "I don't need protecting." And, not only me, but most women are like that too. But depending on the women.

So I was so conflicted over Rocky's reasons of protecting women. But that was when he was first introduced into the show. Until the reason he protects women was.. Because he witnessed his mother and sister commit suicide because of his father. So I can not blame him for that.

Stop trying to give me ideas about this concept.

~

Yeah. If they didn't already ruin the car accident, motorcycle accident and any vehicle accident.. Then you could have done that. But now I'd feel like it would be overly used too much. That's my opinion though.

~

I'm not saying they would have sex in front of people! Not at all. But if there's situations where the girlfriends tried initiating sex with them... That could possibly lead to some scenarios. And maybe because I do read and watch this plot way too many times to count. But I think the whole situation where someone accidently walks in on you being very intimate with someone, I do think it would be the funny and awkward scenarios for those characters. Obviously people never have to read it either. I just think that it could be funny if someone interrupted them.

And I know Rocky would find ways to make it up to her.. Even if she is the one trying to initiate those actions. Though if there is actually just a rare situation where they did have sex in public, then it would be the backroom of Club Heaven while the music is playing or they might be quieter about it. But if that did happen, she might've been persuasive about it to have happened. Hopefully Rocky does think with his head, and not his dick like other guys do. He'll just have to make it up to her.

Obviously Hyuga's the complete opposite in this situation though. His the type of man who doesn't care either way, if someone does walk in on them or not. But his girlfriend might feel different about it though.

That might be the same with Murayama. And as for Cobra, that really depends on who walks in on him. But that would be a funny situation.

And, when it comes to Rude Boys, hopefully they are lucky enough to be in their secret places so they wouldn't get caught by anyone else.

~

Oh. That's... Yeah. Every country uses temperatures differently. But I'll have to say that it's so confusing. And kind of. I was confused at first.. Because you said that you didn't have winter there but it was only 27° C. Until I realized your temperatures are probably different. But I think we use both? Like.. C for the colder temperatures, but F for the hotter temperatures. That's what I have always done. I don't even know why.

~

I never had any interest in reality shows, or reality competition shows, or any of those shows. If you like cooking competition shows.. I would have to tell you to watch Food Wars!. The cooking competition anime makes me so hungry every time I watch it. And pretty characters too.

Anyway.

And I was going to mention Physical:100 to you.. But that was mostly because of the women. I've seen the scenes with women most times. In the trailers. I haven't watched the show. And I doubt that I will even watch the show. But I do keep seeing the show on Netflix though.

So if it wasn't already bad enough that Squid Games season two's not an actual season, but a competition show. But now... The whole show is not even from the original country that it was actually created in. I'll have to say that is the stupidest thing I heard. A false advertisement.

I'm definitely judging everyone who watch Digimon growing up since, y'know, everyone of you people even need therapy from watching the show. And the creators need therapy for creating it. Everyone's weird.

I never watch Orphan? Orphen? But I think that I had cousins who did play the video games though. So I don't know much about the series.

Exactly. That's why I am very torn. I'm strict about loyalty. I hate when people cheat on their lover (whatever the relationship is, like dating or marriage). But mafia boss might be in prison, or maybe even killed by the end of the story. He already ruined his own life so just ruin it more then.. I don't know might happen. You only have a few episodes left to see what happens. So who knows if he'll live or die, or even in prison.

If he's so smart, if he's so intelligent, then why ruin his chance just so he could stalk a woman that doesn't actually care about him. She's so manipulating him. And he's letting her. He already ruined his own life.

- 💋

i didn’t want to directly copy a night club like club heaven, so i thought a hostess club was a good switch-up. plus they staff mainly women and cater to men - and it’s not uncommon that the men can get inappropriate with the staff. so. fitting for the black widow idea.

i respect rocky wanting to protect women, but i also think it’s an interesting concept for him to face some push-back from a woman who has the opposite opinion and thinks women can protect themselves or should be taught how to.

~

and the running theme with vehicular accidents in h&l is a coma, not loss of limbs. so. hinami losing her leg in a car accident doesn’t exactly fit with that theme.

i’ll figure something out. at some point. probably.

~

i assume rocky is more careful about it, when or if he does do it in semi-public spaces. it’s probably not his first rodeo. still probably finds some way to make it up to the girl if they do end up getting caught tho.

hyuga would have sex in his car. or anywhere else. he really doesn’t care who sees.

murayama and cobra are more careful but also. not really. oya high’s got a lotta empty rooms and empty roofs. and cobra knows all kinds of places around sannoh.

and i’ve mentioned the idea of the rude boys having hideaway places around nameless. takeshi and hinami especially.

~

i started watching food wars when it was still on netflix. i got up to ep17. very ….. weirdly horny. not a show you can really watch around other people.

orphen. with an e. it’s an older anime, from the late 90s. i don’t remember much about it myself.

he didn’t stalk her! he went to places they used to frequent when they were kids hoping to see her again, but he thinks meeting her again as an adult was a coincidence! he’s smart in business!! and being blatantly manipulated because the wife knows how he cares about her! but who wouldn’t be manipulated by the one thing they’ve ever truly wanted? even if it seems too good to be true? it’s human nature to want!

~

ep9 ep9 ep9!!!

the starting fight is fucking brutal!!!!!!! the wife’s standing there shocked, watching her man literally murder! he’s completely covered in blood!!!!! peak brutality just hacking a man to bits!! bossman also killed for her, stabby stabby. the wife cut her hand while grabbing a knife someone was trying to stab her with and boss wrapped it up for her and i’m. soft. he’s so good. i love him idc if he’s lil dumb ‘cause he follows his heart. they both look hella good covered blood. hottest a man can look is when he’s blood splattered.

the cop sliced a man’s achilles!!!!!!!!!

the boss and the cop are having a sleepover at the boss’ family home~~~~ because their place got fucking trashed in the fight.

bossman’s pushing his luck with the japanese associates, but to be fair, they did try to have him killed.

the cop is propositioning the chinese associate to go over the boss’ head. the betrayal’s already starting and the cop’s digging himself into a hole going in deeper into this drug business.

THE COP WAS GOING TO CUT OFF HIS PINKY TO GET IN WITH THE JAPANESE!! he only got out of it because the japanese associate’s people betrayed him and stabbed him to death.

AND THE COP JUST SHOWED HIS FUCKING PLAYING HAND. THE JAPANESE UNDERLING HAD ALREADY MADE A DEAL WITH THE BOSS BEFORE THE COP TRIED TO WIGGLE HIS WAY IN. SO NOW THE BOSS KNOWS THAT THE COP’S BEEN SNEAKING AROUND WITH THE CHINESE ASSOCIATE BEHIND HIS BACK. BOY, YOU FUCKED UP!!!!

[id-throw-my-pie-for-you]

I sensed from some of your posts you would have an understanding of the agony I endure. I'm sorry if I've scratched at your past wounds...

For thinking about her and our lives nearly constantly, there's still so much I just, cant figure out? Can't express? I don't know.

You see, I don't have a decade of loving memories with her. I have a lifetime of wondering where she is and if she's happy. I have years of daydreaming of running into her at a coffee shop and clicking just like that like we always do. I have a beautiful made up life for her in my head, where she has everything she ever dreamed of and is happy and healthy with her cat in her dream home.

I have these things, littered with memories of when I did have her close, a handful of months here and there of the deepest connection I have ever experienced. Of her presence, her understanding and compassion, being caught on every syllable she'd speak, lost in the galaxies in her eyes, and accompanied by the blackest of holes when she would leave...

I go through waves. Especially lately.

Life events have me living near our old stomping grounds. She's close, within zip codes reach...and I feel this tug. Like the force you feel when holding magnets that want to connect apart.

Everything in me wants to run to her. Tell her I can't live another second without her in my life. But something in me won't allow it... Something in me won't let me hold my heart in my hand and tell her it's been hers all along.

She had always walked out and it would tare me apart, and it shattered me to walk away from her.. I don't think I'd survive rejection or the loss of her again... I've been hanging by a thread already..

I'm sorry for taking so long to reply to this. Honestly, something you said made me think I might've known who you were and I wasn't sure of what to say, but some things have happened since then that made me realize I'm just a fucking idiot and I was completely wrong. Which is probably a good thing.

Like I said before, its difficult giving advice about situations like this to anyone because its often things that I should have told myself before, or should have done myself, and chose not to. It's just so hypocritical of me.

So I won't give advice, just my opinion. That yearning that you are feeling is very likely shared by her as well. The saddest story of all would include two people in love, wanting to reach out to eachother, but no one takes that first step. I think not knowing is worse than the rejection that you are afraid of. What do you think is the something in you that won't allow yourself to reach out?

[diddle-riddle]

I know Steph and Ed having any kind of relationship might not be that common (and I think most of the works I've read with them are yours), but in that case, shouldn't we all credit to everyone who created the first tag for every relationship? For example, (correct me if I'm wrong, I don't read the comics) but a while ago I saw someone's post about how funny it was that we ship Jon and Ed even though in comics they barely have any interaction (again, I don't know if this is true, I don't read comics), so shouldn't we credit to whoever wrote the first Scriddler comic?

But also, it is still kinda difficult to know who created something, you might've been the person who created the tag in AO3, but that's not the only ff site, someone could've done it first in FF.net, Wattpad, Tumblr or some other site, or maybe even someone that wrote something but never published it.

And, like you, who saw their interactions in the comics and had the idea of making them a family or Ed taking care of her, someone else, that hasn't read your fics, could have the same idea (excluding calling him her 'imaginary friend' because that is very specific, or for example, your 'Water Lilies' fic plot) and write a fic.

In instances where you could ask for credits is when you create an oc or something that doesn't exist in the original work, for example, there's this Harry Potter fic where the author created something called 'Climagia' (some women could control the earth elements) and in that case, you could ask for credit because it's something that does not exist in the books, but Steph and Ed already exist in the comics (like you said, you didn't create them) and making them be friends/siblings/family is not something so specific as to claim any credit, in my opinion.

And I completely agree to saying that creating fanart of any kind is a full-time, important activity!! As a ff writter, I've also created some uncommon pairings, but I don't expect anyone to give me credit for them because the characters are already there, I just took them and put them together, something that someone else can do.

I'm not writing this as to fight with you or anything, or change your mind, I just read what you wrote and wanted to give my opinion, and mention a few things as to why some people might not give credits.

First of all, thank you for reading my works! I’m very happy to count you as a reader :)

[in that case, shouldn't we all credit to everyone who created the first tag for every relationship?] - Ideally, yes. Now, there are relationships that became so popular and so widely spread, no one knows where the idea comes from anymore (if it's one or multiple people, a story, a fanart or a podcast or whatever else that started it). For some characters it's increased by their proximity in canon, what fully explains Superbat, StephCass or other ships between characters who share a complicity. I consider Riddlebat fully fits in this category. I don't know who invented Scriddler, but it became a widely spread ship while Jonathan and Edward never shared anything more that a couple of positive interactions in the source material. Someone likely launched the idea by a story or a piece of art, and the fandom took hold of it. That person has the right to feel bad when seeing something they created became so popular and so re-invented by everyone else, nobody remembers them anymore. Personally, I find that a bit sad, to think someone created something so cherished in the fandom and nobody knows them. I would be profoundly afflicted if the same happened with the Stephanie & Edward friendship / family bond. Sure, I would be happy to see it grow popular, but not at the price to be completely forgotten as the person who launched it in the fandom. If that were the case, I'd be hurt and I would feel like all my work gets... entirely wasted.

When I say I made my researches, I mean it. Not only on AO3. I guarantee there are no stories featuring Edward adopting Stephanie Brown, no matter the verse, before I made this very trope a thing in my AU 'Safe & Sound' first. Sure thing, I can't verify works that were never posted, and that's why I personally consider I made their family a thing since I first posted, *not* since I first thought of it. Believe me, I've been thinking about them being brother-sister / father-daughter / soul siblings for much longer than I write this very same topic. Still, I consider it doesn't count in the fandom archives since my older drafts featuring them are written in notebooks and were never published. I agree that someone might have picked on their similarities without reading my stories, but I want to say that it's part of the deal: if someone had the idea of them as family, how could they pass checking THE most popular fanfiction site to see if this has been translated into a fanfic on AO3 already? Actually, I would love to receive a comment like "I had this idea since I read about Riddler and Stephanie, I'm so glad someone agrees with me!" and then see this person do their own story, while knowing they may have thought about it, they haven't launched the trend and they acknowledge it. I take that example because I received similar comments for a recurrent topic in my fics, being that my Edward was a teenager when he begun his Riddler career. Placing him under eighteen when he first suited up his costume is the headcanon field, and it pleases me to see others enjoy to see this portrayal in my stories. Thank you for giving your opinion. On my side, I consider that making Edward adopt a young Stephanie *is* specific enough to ask for credit. Not the same as portraying them as friends, but making Eddie her father or her big brother, and making them each other's most important person in their world, the person they would choose above anything and anyone else including themselves *is* something I can ask credit for, since it existed nowhere before I brought it to life. If anything, I find your reference a bit sad there, and I am sincerely sorry you created relationships that became popular without you being acknowledged for it, is that what you are saying? Because if you were the first and exclusive author of said relationships, for which you likely got very involved, then it's a shame it became used and re-used without people remembering you started the trend. You deserved your recognition in the fandom world, because being fanfiction writers and fanart artists should always mean we are supportive of each other, as we all share this same passion. Again, it would make me feel like I wasted my time, while I engage in my writing with all my heart, if I don't get the minimum of recognition being that people remember Edward being Steph's parent, brother or best-friend-ready-to-do-anything-for-her comes from my stories.

Worry not lol, actually I love to hear divergent opinions, it's always interesting! Thank you for sharing your point and by doing so, giving me an occasion to develop mine!

[dont-play-with-me-choices]

So I Played The Royal Finale Chapter 3...

What the fuck. What the fuck was that. What WAS that?!?

Well, let's start with the elephant in the room.

So, light-hearted first things first: the reveal of Liam's sister might accidentally be the funniest thing I've ever seen in this app. Why did they show us her face first like we were gonna know who the fuck she is. I was sitting there confused as shit like I might've forgotten someone. Idk why but that got me adjcb;kjda

But real talk, this was a extremely disappointing development, and I'd be lying if I said it was gonna negatively color my opinion for the foreseeable chapters. I was actually really excited to find out who was under the mask. An interesting new character is exactly was this seventh installment of a series needs to push to the finish line...

Keyword? Interesting, pixelberry!!! We've done the evil family member development 3 times at least. The most recent one was the whole plot of the last fucking book. Come ON now. And Liam's family... we've pushed and pulled every fucking Rys family member we could already. But ugh, whatever, bitching won't change that, here we are with... Lena.

I'm really hating how flippant the MC was this chapter, as well. For the first two chapters it felt like it was understood that we (the player AND the main cast) have been through too much bullshit to even pretend to have faith in any Via Imperii nonsense. But suddenly we get Liam's surprise sister in a murderous mercenary army, and MC tries the "let's be besties" route??? Are you kidding me??? We're teasing her???? I want answers! Where were the options to treat her like an enemy!

And speaking of enemies turned besties....

WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING TO OLIVIA

Why, why, oh fucking why are we forced to box her out like this. This is almost insultingly stupid. How is this supposed to protect her? And from what! The Via Imperii already know who she is! I wanted to scream when I saw this, and if this comes back around to where we suspect Olivia for anything, only for it to be her working on the sidelines (bc we BOXED HER OUT) I'm gonna scream for real. I swear on a giant hat. My playchoices peeps on the east coast will hear it.

I do not like this Lena development. The fact that the former queen died with child was powerful. It made Liam's pain in the previous storylines a little more heartbreaking. So that's been royally fucked up, and for what? What good does it do that we've got yet another friend in the group grappling with "difficult family emotions" AGAIN? Fuck, everyone's getting a little bit of that in the finale! Hana and her mom (actually... did we just forget about that? Hana romancers, lemme know if there was any more talk for you guys, cuz I got bupkus), Drake and Bastien got beef, this now with Liam, Maxwell... well, he already got his, actually. But you get the point.

I do not see this becoming an interesting story anytime soon. I might be a bit bitter, but we've been playing the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" game for fucking EVER. From what we've got so far, PB has set up a finale of cheap "gotcha" plot twists, "surprise" betrayals to spice things up but will only upend previous story lines, and dumbed down MC worse than ever before to make it all fit together.

Onwards to chapter 4, I suppose.

Bonus thoughts and memes:

I'm a Maxwell romancer, and I planned on restarting the series once TRF ended to romance Liam properly. And right now I find it hilarious that because of this mess, I am doomed to deal with "evil super surprise family member" no matter where I go. Hello Liam. Welcome to the club!

My "Straight Danger" senses are tingling between Drake and Lena. I can't help it. It's probably nothing! But PB loves enemies to lovers as much as they suck at writing them, and bringing in a badass female Liam "parallel" when people have been pointing out how close and important the guys are to each other since this story fucking started, in order to say that's just as good??? Look me in the eyes and say that's not a textbook PB move.

THAT BEING SAID. If they pull a fucking hail mary in the final book and finally let me hook up Drake, who's literally chomping at the bit to protect Liam this chapter, and our resident King Oblivious...

I am weak and spineless. I will forgive all sins. This will be the best book on the planet. yes i know they wont do that let me DREAM lol

I didn't realize that I had this screenshot from chapter 2 when Lena first shows up. The pic file is titled "umm.jpg" on my computer, which I think is pretty funny.

Goes to show how shocked I was to see such a striking get-up in the royal finale. Her faceless, nameless grunt dialogue kinda gave me endless summer vibes w/ Lundgren's men. Guess I was dealing with some high hopes....

Those old family traditions were to attempt a coup, and continued by honor, pride, and self-improvement! Put some respect on my besties name, Linda!

If you want my crazy thought? I think Lena's role should've been Liam's brother (Leo? Lysanderoth? I didn't even romance him in RoE 16 thousand years ago, so I don't even remember) Leo could've been tricked into joining the Via Imperii as a young impulsive prince. They don't fuck with him, but he got older and realized that he's given an in to Cordonia that could doom them all. That's why he fucks around in the Mediterranean by RoE- he's staying away for his family's safety. It's barely even be a retcon, since all he actually says in RoE is that he hated the pressure! Maybe that pressure was the royal murder cult! We could've had some spice here! But... we've got Lena. So let's see where this goes.

(final note: I think this is how i'll be formatting all my chapter notes for all future releases, so eventually I'll pin a master post to this blog as a directory. When I write up my thoughts about the first two chapters of this, I'll update this post with a link!)

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Hello my favourite Chestervelle shipper!

Taylor Swift songs (or some specific lyrics) that SCREAM Dean and Jo

If you tell me you don't listen to tswift I'm done with you 😭☺️

Not really cause I love you and all but I'm not kidding

Hey!!! 🥰 If it isn't my favorite Chestervelle fan!!! Me??? Your FAVORITE?? Thank you so much!!! I love you too!!!

Half my writing (aka chestervelle) playlist is Taylor lmao!

Okay here's a quick legend: ; semicolons are used to differentiate combined lyrics separated by commas / forward slashes are to separate lyrics from different parts of the song. Now let's get to it!!

Lyrics that SCREAM Chestervelle as they are in canon, The "What Might've Been" Collection

the 1:

(this one is my #1, no pun intended, if you couldn't tell by my header and title already lmao. This song makes me YEARN)

you know the greatest films of all time were never made / I guess you never know, you never know; and if you wanted me, you really should've showed / but we were something, don't you think so? / and if my wishes came true, it would've been you / but if would've been fun, if you would've been the one / persist and resist the temptation to ask you; if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? / rosé flowing with your chosen family; and it would've been sweet, if it could've been me /

gold rush:

(this song is very season 2 Jo vibes)

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush, I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch; everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; walk past, quick brush; I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush, I don't like that falling feels like flying til the bone crush; everybody wants you, but I don't like a gold rush / and the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it, and then it fades into the gray of my day old tea, cause it could never be / my mind turns your life into folklore, I can't dare to dream about you anymore / and the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it, cause it fades into the gray of my day old tea, cause it will never be

'tis the damn season:

(this one hurts bro... I'm yearning... you know when Jo's ghost puts her hand on his cheek and he leans into it Like That... that's what the first lyric listed here makes me think of)

there's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me / now I'm missin' your smile, hear me out; we could just ride around / and the road not taken looks real good now / and wonder about the only soul who knows which smiles I'm faking

peace:

(This song is just Dean's inner monologue in my opinion)

I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near; and it's just around the corner, darlin' cause it lives in me; no, I could never give you peace / but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues come / all these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret / would it be enough if I could never give you peace? / but you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches; give you my wild, give you a child; give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other; family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother / give you my sunshine, give you my best; but the rain is always gonna come, if you're standin' with me

cardigan:

(Hdgjfhkdfjdhk all of these make me emotional)

you drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin' / tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy / but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, leave me standin' in my what if's

The lyrics that SCREAM Chestervelle in the ideal fanon universe, The "Daydreaming" Collection:

You Are In Love:

(Literally this ENTIRE song except the line about his office downtown but hey, works for au still. This song is my #1 fanon song hhkhkfgifhk but these lyrics are my absolute favorite AAAAHH)

Morning, his place; burnt toast, Sunday; you keep, his shirt; he keeps, his word; and for once, you let go; of your fears, and your ghosts; one step, not much; but it said, enough / you kiss on sidewalks; you fight, then you talk / one night, he wakes; strange look, on his face; pauses, then says; "You're my best friend"; and you knew, what it was; he is in love

Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran):

(this song makes me !!!!!!!!!)

and all I've seen since eighteen hours ago, is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like; I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now / cause all I know is we said "hello", and your eyes look like comin' home; all I know is a simple name, and everything has changed / and all my walls stood tall painted blue; but I'll take em down, take em down and open up the door for you; 

and all I feel in my stomach in butterflies the beautiful kind, makin' up for lost time, making me feel like; I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now

State Of Grace:

(It's about "mosaic broken hearts" for me... did someone say "don't you think I'm a little twisted too?")

And I never (never) saw you comin', and I'll never (never) be the same / you come around and the armor falls, piercing the room like a cannonball / we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts; but this love is great and wild

Lover:

(It's about "my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue")

There's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear / have I known you twenty seconds, or twenty years? / My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue; all's well that ends well to end up with you

ME! (Feat. Brendon Urie):

(This song is just a fun time and Brendon Urie is my BOY!! This whole song is good but these lyrics in particular have always made me think of them)

I know I never think before I jump; and you're the kind of guy the ladies want / I know you never get just what you see; but I will never bore you, baby

[argueably-pretty-rad]

My Opinion: Feminism

Now, before anyone takes a good hard look at this post, know that I am a girl. I am not speaking about people I don't understand. If you take offense to this, that's perfectly fine; block me and leave my page forever, I really don't care. I'm just voicing my thoughts in a nonviolent way, and don't need any negative feedback. With that said, read if you'd like.

I got the idea to make this post when I watched a YouTube video a little while ago. Many have probably seen it as it came out back in 2016. I'd watched the video before, but seeing it again made me so mad that I just had to talk about it. It's called "36 Stupid Feminist Questions Answered," and it's by the user Dr Shaym. If you haven't seen it already, I suggest you do so now.

Now, I already hate BuzzFeed with a burning passion, but this is their worst video yet. They really give feminists such a bad name. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a feminist. In fact, I used to hate feminists, mainly because people like the women in the video are the ones who get talked about the most. Now they are truly feminists. They seem to want nothing more than to be above men. They generalize constantly, looking at a few bad people that happen to have dicks, and decide that everybody that ever had a dick except maybe their dad or a gay best friend is a shitface. All men are assholes, men think they're so much better than us, my boyfriend doesn't understand me, blah blah blah.

No, I consider myself to be a gender equalist. Anybody can do anything, whether that's good or bad. A girl can beat the shit out of a guy and force him to have sex with her, just the same as a guy can be understanding of women and love rom-coms. You've gotta understand that, while it may not be as likely, things go both ways.

Let me bring up a scenario that shows how many holes and contradictions are in those feminists' questions in the video. A few of the sexist questions these women brought up were along the lines of:

Why do men feel like they can't show their emotions?

Why do you feel the need to prove your masculinity to women?

Why are women seen as the weaker sex?

Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who claim to have been raped?

Now, before I build this scenario, let me bring up a great point that Dr Shaym brought up:

"Men are socially conditioned from the day we learn to talk to not express our feelings. We are brought up constantly being told to man up and that boys don't cry. We don't have the privilege of showing our emotions because if we do, it is seen as a sign of weakness. To put it simply, us men are programmed to believe our own feelings are invalid, and so we hide them and we lie about them. We are raised to expect that if we tell you our feelings, you will shoot them down. You will tell us we're wrong for feeling the way we do, and even if you don't, we still don't want to tell you our feelings because we fear you will use them against us."

Now imagine this: You, as a boy, are forced to do something sexual with a girl you don't want to be with. You cry about it, as anyone would, alone and afraid. When you try to tell someone, perhaps your best friend, you're laughed at. "Dude, how did you let a girl pin you down? How weak can you be?" You, believing you should conform with your friends like every other person, decide to "man up" and swallow all of your feelings. The girl, seeing that she hasn't suffered any repercussions, goes after you again. You, being scared and frustrated, attempt to push her off. When she doesn't relent, you have no choice but to use self defense. She's angry and has a bruise on her face, and now has very good evidence that you have raped her and hit her in the process. She accuses you as such, and you are sent to prison. Your friends and family are disgusted, no one believes you, you have charges for things you never did. Your rapist roams free, likely doing the same to other men. You cry, as anyone would when their life is ruined.

Now tell me what you've learned from this scenario, because we all know for a fact that the women in that video would've supported the rapist without question. No one questioned that this girl might've done wrong. There was evidence, but no one tried to rearrange the story to fit it properly. This scenario, or something very similar to it, has likely happened already. If it hasn't, then it surely will soon.

The next order of business is one of the most popular things I've heard come out of a feminist's mouth, and every time I hear it I absolutely want to strangle whoever said it: WhY Do MEn tHinK ThEy'RE tHe StRoNGeR GeNDeR?

Because lady, whether you like it or not, men scientifically are proven to be stronger than women. Please take a good hard look at these statistics and educate yourself.

In case you didn't have common sense like the feminists in the video, muscle is what gives you strength. There are obviously exceptions, but ON AVERAGE, men are stronger than women, and that goes for every section on that table.

Onto the very much talked about wages gap. As mentioned in the video, it's not as though the gap doesn't exist. The thing is though, it's technically woman's fault it exists. Allow me the bring up another very valid quote from Dr Shaym:

"The observed wage Gap is based on comparing the average income of men to the average income of women without considering any variables. Sometimes when the wage Gap is brought up they add in that women get paid less for the same jobs, but that's horseshit. Asking why women get paid less than men is like asking why why men are more likely to die in the workplace than women: it's because men and women tend to work different jobs, and just like some jobs are more dangerous than others, some jobs pay more than others, and since men tend to work higher-paying jobs, such as those in STEM fields, men tend to make more money. And even when you are comparing men and women working the same jobs, there are things which factor into why men get paid more such as the fact that men are more likely to work overtime, are more likely to ask for raises or promotions, are less likely to take time off, are more competitive, are more likely to take risks, prioritize earnings more than women, retire at a later age, and all these other things which studies have found."

Dr Shaym goes on to make more reasonable points as to why the wage gap exists, but this excerpt from the video is more than enough to prove that this point that many feminists bring up is unreasonable and uneducated.

Final thoughts: I'm all for equal rights and such, but the way feminists antagonize men is not okay, and I wanted to voice that. I know this is a pretty controversial rant for a first post, but I just wrote what came to me.

Anyway, I'm pretty positive you can gauge my views on feminism by now, and I think I've done well enough for the post. I highly recommend watching Dr Shaym's video, and thank you for reading if you've gotten this far. I mean no harm in this post, and only wish to state an opinion.

[citycfangels]

text: raquel ⇄  charlie

Raquel: BABE! So I should let you know that I had them put "requests constant coffee" in my contract as a forewarning so I'm still buzzed off that but.... I might've found my new favorite place in the world.

Charlie: well done, babe. it wouldn't be you if that wasn't in your contract

Charlie: and here i thought that was my bed. how is it going?

Raquel: well I'm glad I'm not surprising you with anything shocking here.

Raquel: that's actually my third favorite place. It's going great. We started the drive scenes which just means me riding around in the passenger seat and letting my hair tangle in the wind and my costar is actually pretty cool.

Charlie: it doesn't because a world in which you don't have coffee is an awful world.

Charlie: which one is the second?

Charlie: i'm glad it's going well. i'm so happy for you, Quel. you deserve this and more.

Raquel: and a world where I act like I'm possessed by a demon.

Raquel: disneyland, duh. No, I'm kidding. It's actually the house I grew up in.

Raquel: Thanks Babe. Soon enough it's going to be your turn to conquer the world too.

Charlie: and i don't wish anyone to see that. i've been there.

Charlie: well, i'll settle with the third position

Charlie: thanks, but i don't know how. well, unless i become the best bartender in the world famous for my cocktail combinations or my coffee blendings

Raquel: I wasn't that bad was I?

Raquel: maybe I should just take you to my number one place and you can try to convince mewhy it should be your bed instead.

Raquel: or you could open up your own place. Cafe in the morning and then close for a few hours and make it a bar. The drinks you come up with can be your own menu. You have the experience for it. You'd be great at it.

Charlie: are you kidding me? you were the worst

Charlie: that sounds like a plan to me

Charlie: it's ambitious, but it sounds good. you really think i should do it? that i'm that good to do that?

Raquel: I was not.

Raquel: okay maybe I was and I'm sorry about anything I said when I had zero caffeine in me

Raquel: then I guess we're going to Pismo beach sometime soon.

Raquel: it might be but I believe in you even when you think it might be ambitious. You're smart and great so I think you can do anything.

Charlie: you're welcome for the coffees

Charlie: let me know when and we'll take days off

Charlie: you believe too much in me, but as long as you're my #1 client and give me enough publicity, it could be a project i might be interested in.

Raquel: thank you 😘

Raquel: well I just took those five days off so we can wait a bit and then we can go since Emeven if I want to become a huge actress, I still don't want to lose my job.

Raquel: no, I believe in you just the right amount I'l be you #1 client, cheerleader, spokesperson. Always.

Charlie: that sounds fair, just let me know and we'll go. i could use a break from this, you know

Charlie: well, thank you. it sounds hard but who knows what will happen from here to five years, for example? we'll never know, we could be successful then

Raquel: and a break with me on the beach would be the best break you can get.

Raquel: well successful in five years is the plan. Successful and happy that's all I want.

Charlie: and if it ends with sex every night i can die happily

Charlie: ambitious but approachable, i like your plans

Raquel: and if it doesn't end in sex every night?

Raquel: I like that you like my plans because you're somehow wrapped in them.

Charlie: i'll be sad because i will probably end up with a boner from seeing you all day in a bikini, but i will survive without having sex

Charlie: i have to say you know how to sell it, babe

Raquel: well... I can't stand you being sad so I guess that just leaves us with the option of sex every night.

Raquel: I haven't even told you the best part yet. Your name out front on something that is completely yours.

Raquel: I could have gone all game show host-y and said A BRAND NEW CAR

Charlie: i like that option very much. for how long should we be away? a week?

Charlie: oh fuck, i'd love that.

Charlie: you'd be a good game show host. a hot one.

Raquel: you want to take me away for a whole week? If we both can get that much time away then yes. I want a week with you.

Raquel: I knew you would. Just thinking of properties in West Hollywood or Santa Monica or even Hollywood

Raquel: well I'd be better than all the guys that host them.

Charlie: well, getting away from this forever would be unrealistic, but a week is enough for me

Charlie: oh, are you already thinking of places that'd be good for this? awww

Charlie: anyone could be better than them, tbh

Raquel: well us getting away forever wouldn't work either

Raquel: duh, you're lucky I'm not looking at real estate agents yet.

Raquel: true.

Charlie: we wouldn't get the money we need, we're poor.

Charlie: i don't even have the money for it, we should wait a bit. well, i should wait a bit

Raquel: we would become poor but in the meantime I could totally be your sugar mama

Raquel: babe. I believe in you. We don't have to wait.

Charlie: my sugar mama. my hot and sexy sugar mama, that sounds kinda good

Charlie: why not? you shouldn't pay for everything, babe, and there are a lot of things i need to figure out

Raquel: I'm not even sure why I like the thought of that too.

Raquel: I wouldn't be paying for everything. It would be yours. I just don't want you to think that money is something that should stop you. Them we figure things out and make sure it happens.

Charlie: because you'd be taking care of me economically and sexually, and we both know how much do you like to take care of me in that sense ;)

Charlie: it's not only that, it's just that it's not that easy to start a new business. i know you're eager to make it happen and i appreciate it, but let's do this the right way

Raquel: well when you put it like that... I do love taking care of you sexually. I was actually just thinking about it.

Raquel: And I know that. New businesses are the ones most likely to fail. You mean with business managers, real estate agents, multiple business Offers and income projections?

Charlie: really? what were you thinking about?

Charlie: all of that and all those things i have yet to find out. i should read a book about it or something before doing anything

Raquel: about howmy mouth can take care out you. How I want to trail kisses down your entire body until you beg me to stop.

Raquel: okay. Well you can read the books and I could always just watch you read or set up meetings. Anything you need.

Charlie: oh, i love how your mouth can take care of me, you know you can do that anytime, babe. until it's time to put that mouth to work somewhere else

Raquel: after the long days without me I just want my mouth to take care of you until your toes curl. Your hands in my hair. With you all the way to the back of my throat.

Charlie: i'll be there for sure all my way to the back to your throat. i want to make your eyes water as i deepthroat you. i want to scratch the back of your throat as i fuck your mouth

Raquel: i know you love it when my eyes water while I look up at you. I need you so bad. I need you inside me. In my mouth. In my pussy.

Charlie: it's a fucking turn on, babe. i love seeing you enjoy that, especially when there are a lot of girls that don't like giving head, but you... you love it

Charlie: you're so eager to have me inside you, but all i want to do is tease you. have your tits in my mouth, tease your pussy and finger you just enough to make you wet before i eat you out so good you would probably forget your name for a minute

Raquel: well when you taste so good and make those faces how am I not supposed to love it?

Raquel: taste me while I tug on your hair. Make me forget the rest of the world.

Raquel: you are such a tease. Get here NOW.

Charlie: gladly so. i love looking up to you and seeing those faces of pleasure, moaning my name, seeing your chest wave as i drive you crazy

Charlie: i wish, but you're miles away and i can't exactly focus on driving when i have such a tent in my boxers

Raquel: me biting my lip. biting into my arm while you play with my clit.

Raquel: So you're saying I have to stop playing with myself long enough to drive over to you? But I'm already waiting for you baby.

Charlie: so do you want me to drive all the way to Santa Monica to fuck you?

Charlie: are you wearing anything at all?

Raquel: No, I want you to drive to my house and fuck me on every surface.

Raquel: nothing at all. How can I when I'm thinking about you?

Charlie: i will try to get there, but i won't promise i'll be there soon because you know, traffic

Charlie: until then, try to not touch yourself and keep all those orgasms for me because i'm going to give you multiple orgasms

Raquel: I hate traffic can't you just like fly over.

Raquel: I know you'll come through with that promise even if it'll be hard not to touch myself while I'm thinking about you. I just have to find ways to keep myself entertained.

Charlie: if that was possible i would be already there

Charlie: good, because we're having a fuckfest tonight

Raquel: people should really get on the whole flying cars thing just for the sake of our sex life.

Raquel: best way to end the day.

Charlie: that would be a good solution whenever we have needs

Charlie: is there another way better than hot and wild sex?

Raquel: it would be the best thing ever. Either that or teleportation

Raquel: hot and wild sex and falling asleep in your arms

Charlie: that would be hella useful

Charlie: that's also a very nice part, if you want my opinion

Raquel: and not just to us.

Raquel: I always want your opinion but the falling asleep thing wasn't up for much of a debate.

Charlie: well, it's not like we get any sleep when we're naked in the same bed, and neither of us can't complain

Raquel: I'm not complaining at all but I have a meeting in the morning and I could use some sleep and coffee in the morning so that's why I would really be asking you to stay :P

Charlie: oh, you only want me there for the coffee? i'm hurt

Charlie: but okay, i'll let you sleep and you'll have your coffee ready in the morning

Raquel: just for coffee and your body, duh

Raquel: you're the best.

Charlie: for my body too, huh? anything else to say about it?

Charlie: i know, babe ;)

Raquel: just that I appreciate the abs and the face that's attached to that body.

Raquel: don't get smug or else I'll have to take back my compliment.

Charlie: i appreciate your appreciation, especially when your fingers and mouth are involved

Charlie: :(

Raquel: fingers, hands, lips, they're all going to be used tonight

Raquel: okay that's a lie. There's a no take back policy on compliments but still.

Charlie: i like the sounds of that

Charlie: you're the best

Raquel: well now you're just buttering me up, but I'm only the best for you. See you soon😘

Charlie: see you and your naked body soon, hopefully in less than an hour

Raquel: definitely less than an hour. If you take an hour I'm definitely starting without you and then I'll just make you watch until I finish.

Charlie: not that i wouldn't love seeing that, but i prefer getting you off than seeing you touch yourself

Raquel: then I guess you've got to hurry.

Charlie: let's hope traffic isn't my enemy tonight

Raquel: let's hope. It'll be both of our enemies tonight.