#this one is with a solar filter which is apparently a thing

[autismserenity]

Look at this new photo of the sun!

1,000,000,000,000/10 best doggo, would pet all day, highest recommendation

[gothseparatist]

Conditions of the Ninth House

Ok I was just joking around that "It's a good thing the Ninth are the bone necros because they probably all have rickets being on Pluto" but then I wondered, would they?? how weak is their daylight?

Bunch of back of the envelope calculations and ruminations under the cut but the tl;dr is that brightest day Harrow would've experienced prior to Canaan House was darker than that of a typical grocery store interior

--

They aren't under a planetary atmosphere and I'm no physicist but I think light is light in a vacuum, some UV would reach that far just as some visible light does and due to them being partially a space station basically they are going to be under radiation we aren't.

Measurements for Solar radiation (W/m^2) on Earth are 1,413 at max and 1,321 at min. For Pluto due to its highly eccentric orbit it is much more extreme at 1.55 and 0.57. Compare this with Neptune which is 1.54 max and 1.47 min. Using the above and the value of 98,000 lux (a unit for brightness) for noon on Earth, I did some quick calculations that put noon on Pluto to vary between 114 lux to 42 lux (again due to its substantial orbital eccentricity). Putting that in comparable terms: average living room in Australia in 1998 was apparently 50 lux. Sunrise and sunset on Earth is ~400 lux. The dark limit of civil twilight (most can still read) is 3.4 lux. Night of fullmoon is 0.05-0.3 lux. Recommended office lighting is 320-500 lux.

With the above in mind, natural light reaching Drearburh at its brightest is comparable to a typical living room. And Pluto's rotation is 6.4 Earth days so the changes in natural lighting would be much more gradual than what Harrow would've experienced in Canaan house. It must have been quite the sensory overload + chaos for her!

Now for UV!

As far as UV goes, only Pluto readings I can find are in Rayleighs and I am too lazy to convert them [also yes I believe this is reflected off Pluto but it does not matter for our purposes as that is some of the light they'd be getting hit with] not many crafts have been to Pluto lol

So I'm just gonna go off a common value based on distance that Pluto receives roughly 1/1600 of the light we do. Thus, its UV will be 1/1600 of the UV on the ISS (Drearburh is under artificial atmosphere but it is unclear what filtering it does in terms of UV so I'm mostly ignoring that). Earth 's atmosphere filters out basically all UV-C (germicidal really intense one) and about 90% or more of UV-B (the sunburn one).

Unfiltered sunlight composition is about 10% UV so 10% of those earlier solar radiation measurements of 1.55 and 0.57 W/m^2 is UV. This gives us the convenient calculation to 0.155 and 0.057 W/m^2 in the UV spectrum.

For some reason it was impossible for me to find simple measurements of UV in W/m^2 lol (everything was already adjusted to different units). BUT I was able to pull up a few studies that had those as raw data for entirely different thing and most helpful was one in Kuwait where UVB was 0.25 W/m^2 or this map where it is in mW/m^2 (so 200 = 0.2).

In terms of UV, this would put the Ninth House within the range of Southern England during its perihelion and to Scandinavia during its aphelion so yes it is in fact Rickets City.

perihelion = closest to sun; aphelion= furthest

It is likely the house makes use of UV-producing lamps for its population especially given the major malnutrition issues and that the founding population included at the very least some people of Maori descent, potentially other ethnic groups with often brown skin, and people with darker skin can be more susceptible to low Vit D in low UV environments since their melanin is blocking what precious little UV they are getting. John made many oversights e.g. he's able-bodied so the houses lack automated doors, but given his background I'd imagine he'd catch onto this at least. I believe there are mentions of arc lamps in the text and these can let off some UV so there's some textual support to this idea. However, I do imagine they still rely heavily on necromancy to heal rickets just as they do other conditions. [Also normally, I'd say "realistically" after 10k years they'd likely have lost a lot of their melanin responsivity as that has happened quite quickly in humans (Cheddar Man vs modern white brits or Ashkenazi Jews vs Mizrahi ones) but the Ninth House is a much more stable environment than European history LOL, like people are provided their food and there's no war at home, etc so the "use it or lose it" selection pressure isn't as relevant as it would be for cave animals. But also "realistically" doesn't matter anyways for a bunch of reasons and the Houses clearly engage in some genetic meddling anyway (Ianthe and Coronabeth's Alexandria's Genesis asses have violet eyes).]

Lastly, the height of no-one-else-gives-a-shit-Avery, but the low light also has major implications for their crop production. "Low light" houseplants [University of Melbourne] have lux within "270 to 807". The Ninth likely has to be using either additional lights for their snowleeks and/or they are channeling a lot of light into a mirror/reflector and beaming it over the growing area. The latter makes the most sense to me.. though given how dark it is they probably should've just GMO'd some lower water column algae

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

Fandom Dive #1: Assassin's Creed

(I was going to call this 'Fandom Report' or 'Fandom Deep Dive' but really, that would be more effort than I am willing to put into things)

A short note to begin with as that could be relevant going forward: turns out Assassin's Creed is a difficult franchise for this sort of thing, as it is a franchise consisting of way too many games - we might look to go for concise series or installments in the future.

With that out of the way, let's do a quick roundup of some stats:

At time of writing, AO3 has 13042 works (although this seems like an older fandom, so one should probably look at platforms like FF.net for a better picture)

AO3 has roughly a four-way split between Gen, Teen, Mature and Explicit, with a slight uptick in T

As usual, the most popular shipping category is M/M, but there's a substantial amount of F/M and Gen as well

For most-tagged characters we've got are Ezio, Altair, Desmond and Connor (which I take to be the protagonists)

The 5 most popular ships appear to be:

Malik/Altair

Enzio/Leonardo Da Vinci

Haytham/Connor

Shaun/Desmond

Jacob Frye/Reader

Following up we've got the most common Crossover franchises:

We've got all the common story tags (Fluff, Angst, H/C, Romance), plus several NSFW tags (nothing weird, but people seem to be diligent about tagging that stuff) as well as a canon (canon for the fandom, as per the Rule of Threes that I only learned about recently) Modern AU tag

Sorting by Kudos, the top fics are either crossovers (which makes sense, more kudos from other fandoms) or rated E (also not surprising)

Filtering by bookmarks gets you mostly the same

I was somehow hoping for more cool heist and assassination fics. Granted, I only read through like the first three pages for every query, but still :(

So, let me do the thing we're actually here for: summarize the story so far:

- Ezio is the first protagonist I think, he fights the Borgia family for an apple (The Apple of Eden?) and gets to suffer quite a bit

- Desmond might be second? He fights for an eye. Used to be a bartender, be friends with a dude named Clay (Subject 16) and in the end he gets the eye in a temple and dies to stop a solar flare? People are unhappy about this. It's possibly the fault of the organisation they were working for before

- Altair I think is some sort of their ancestor but he seems pretty popular, I presume he gets to do stuff too. He apparently has a key moment in his life in a library, but other than the fact he has a friend called Malik I don't really know stuff about him

- There's a dude named Connor whose other name is inpronouncable and intypeable. No idea what he's up to

- There's several people named after Roman gods, and I refuse to believe that's a coincidencd. They are evil, but seem to have gotten along with the protagonists for a while. They have some sort of Isu Influence, or Isu Technology (possibly tying into how time travel works here). They seem connected to Abstergo, possibly the name of the organisation? They also appear connected to a place called 'The Gray'. One of their evil schemes seems to include the solar flare Desmond dies to stop

- There's an Apple, an Eye, and a Prophet - no clue at which point the prophet comes in

- There's Templar knights that seem to oppose the assassins. I presume they want the relics for religious reasons (I vaguely recall seeing a video about how they came to be because time travel pregnancies, and the girl's dad looking for the perpetrator demon, but I could be misremembering)

- Somebody might run a surveillance state in the present?

- Of course the assassins are time-travelling

- (People ship the time travellers - is that incest? I can't quite tell wether they are related or not)

- There's a Bleeding Effect people seem to really love, I'm not sure what that does exactly, but it seems to be some sort of you know what your ancestors know kinda deal. Sometimes you might literally see them. Unclear.

- I have no idea who this Jacob Frye is or why he's so popular for a Y/N ship

I'm not sure if that's good enough, or absolutely wrong? Also looking forward to formatting suggestions. Do let me know @sanguen.

Sincerely

@yami-musume

[dankusner]

Countdown to TOTALITY

Here’s what you’ll see in the hours, minutes and seconds leading up to the solar eclipse

On Monday, a total solar eclipse will sweep from Mexico to Maine, plunging rural farmland and major cities alike into a sudden daytime darkness.

The sun’s atmosphere will fan outward from behind a jet-black moon in a spectacle the majority of the Lower 48 won’t witness again until the year 2045.

NASA is estimating that 32 million Americans will be in the path of totality, which sweeps over San Antonio, Dallas, Fort Worth, Little Rock, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Buffalo and Burlington, Vt.

It comes less than seven years after a more fleeting total eclipse made a path from the Oregon coastline to South Carolina on Aug. 21, 2017.

This eclipse will be the longest-lasting of any on land since at least 2009, and arguably the most widely observed in history.

What’s more, it comes at a time of peak magnetic chaos on the sun, which should make for a more striking show during totality, assuming you have clear skies.

Here we break down what you’ll see in the hours, minutes and seconds leading up to totality.

Start of partial eclipse

Scientists refer to “first contact” as the moment that the moon nicks the solar disk — or when the partial phase of the eclipse begins.

For those along the path of totality, this will be about one to two hours before totality.

Within a minute or two of first contact, you’ll see the moon begin to encroach on the right side of the sun.

The only way you’ll notice that will be with eclipse glasses.

Be sure to look up when the partial eclipse begins at your location; note that the partial eclipse will be viewable over the entire Lower 48 states, even if only those along the roughly 115-mile-wide path from Texas to Maine will see a total eclipse.

60 to 15 minutes to totality

Unless you have eclipse glasses on, you won’t notice much at first.

But over the next 45 minutes, you’ll be able to see the moon’s blockage of the sun grow.

First it’ll be a nibble. Then a bite. Then only a crescent will remain.

15 minutes to totality

About 15 minutes from totality, changes in your surroundings will become more noticeable.

Seventy to 80% of the sun will be obscured, and the landscape will look less illuminated.

It might resemble an old western-style movie, akin to a sepia filter on your phone.

The color might seem off a bit, as if the sun is shining through a smoky pane of glass.

You may feel a general sense of unease or foreboding.

Temperatures will begin dropping.

You may also see most of the white, puffy cumulus clouds fizzling because of the loss of heat from the sun.

10 minutes to totality

You may first begin to think to yourself, “I need a vest” or “it’s getting cool.”

As totality approaches, temperatures could drop by as much as 10 to 12 degrees if the air is dry and crisp, or 5 to 8 degrees if it’s humid.

Around the same time, the shadows will be getting visibly sharper.

During a solar eclipse, the sun’s apparent size shrinks, meaning shadows are cast from a smaller source.

As a result, shadows sharpen, because the rays of light — and therefore shadows — overlap more.

You might notice small sickle-shaped projections of the mostly eclipsed sun in the shadows of leaves and trees; each small gap acts as a miniature “pinhole projector.”

Around this time, it will start to feel weird outside.

The sun will look like it’s shining high in the sky — and indeed it is — but with only 20 percent of its usual intensity.

Crickets will start chirping.

Birds may return to their roosts.

90 seconds before totality

With a minute and a half left to go, things will start happening fast — and the ambient environment will transform before your eyes.

There are a number of things to look out for:

Shadow bands

The moon will be nearly covering the whole sun, and the sun will appear to shrink to a point source of light.

This means that the last rays of sunlight we get are fully parallel and aligned, or collimated.

However, atmospheric turbulence (air pockets, differences in temperature, etc.) will bend, or refract, parallel rays at slightly different angles.

The now-misaligned rays will create a bizarre interference pattern on the ground.

If you have a white towel, sheet or piece of poster board, bring that and place it on the ground. It will make observing the shadow bands easier.

Shadow bands first appear about 90 seconds before totality, and are most noticeable between 60 seconds and 30 seconds before totality.

They also can be seen in the moments after totality.

The umbra

Look to the southwest about 90 seconds before totality.

The sky will look purple or dusky, as if a veil of darkness is being draped overhead.

The rest of the sky will look normal.

You’ll be seeing the edge of the umbra — the darkest part of the moon’s shadow — arriving at several times the speed of sound.

When the shadow crosses into Texas from Mexico, it’ll be moving at 1,600 mph.

By the time it gets to northern Maine some 68 minutes later, it’ll move at a whopping 3,000 mph.

45 seconds to totality

The sky will abruptly darken faster than you can possibly imagine.

Each time you blink, you’ll open your eyes to a different landscape.

Your eyes might struggle to adjust at first.

Stars will awaken from their midday slumber, suddenly becoming noticeable and twinkling overhead.

Jupiter will also emerge above and to the left of the sun; Venus, and perhaps Saturn and Mars, will make an appearance below to the right.

Eventually, the sky will plunge into a deep shade of royal blue that you may not have seen before. It’s difficult to describe.

Winds will slacken or abate as the air, rapidly chilled by the moon’s shadow, sinks — suppressing any breeze that had been formerly stirred up.

A change of wind direction is possible, too.

30 seconds to totality

You should still be wearing your glasses.

Be on the lookout for “Baily’s Beads” — the final pinpricks of sunlight shining through the valleys of the moon.

They’ll last about 15 seconds before totality.

Then the diamond ring — when the myriad beads all congeal into one lone, searing beacon.

TOTALITY

You can only remove your eclipse glasses during totality.

And when you do, you’ll be transported to another universe (figuratively speaking, of course).

Where the sun should be, you’ll see a black hole.

It’s the blackest black you’ll ever see.

That’s the moon blocking all incoming light.

Fanning out from behind the moon will be the sun’s wispy, diaphanous atmosphere — the corona.

Hairlike strands of magnetism will be visible radiating outward.

The horizon in all directions will be glowing a delicate shade of amber — the so-called “360-degree sunrise.”

Keep in mind that the moon’s shadow will only be between 100 and 120 miles wide, so the horizon literally depicts areas that are still experiencing daylight.

You’re in the midst of a localized nightfall that only you get to enjoy.

Savor every second of totality.

Put the phones away — they won’t capture the eclipse.

Instead, treasure every fleeting moment.

Time will seem to stand still, but the moment will be gone in an instant.

The memories, however, will last a lifetime.

[obiternihili]

opinions on random great filters because I can't sleep

False

Magnetosphere, an atmosphere can do enough

Moon itself. theia might have been an outer solar system object instead an earth lagrangian partner and might have been needed to deliver water, though

Plate tectonics, ours apparently didn't even run for like half of earth's existence (early on mantel too hot, boring billion might have been a transition point for convection that slowed it down)

Jupiter (actually drags in more bodies towards inner solar system)

nuclear self destruction

ai itself, though it may enable a stifling political regime

active galactic nuclei

Iffy

free oxygen

metallicity/age of universe

political limitations ("capitalism", "monarchism", etc)

Easy to Pass

K, G, or F type star. K is probably ideal

local stellar density

water world

water world in the goldilocks zone

earth-like mass for earth like worlds

intelligence itself. kinda think it's a punctuated equilibrium kind of thing and we've had this level of intellect since erectus. what makes humans different is industrial revolution like events.

long lives in conjunction with intelligence. these aren't correlated in terms of evolutionary advantages, which screws a lot of cephalopods, but isn't a big issue for apes, elephants, etc. this needs to be counted separately because it has a multiplicative relationship with intelligence itself

pandemic destruction

supernovae

gamma ray bursts

ecological collapse due to ecological mixing

Hard to Pass

Earth-like ocean world. Most Earth-likes are probably Venus like, ice shell worlds ok for life but halt space

Land life

Hands. Limbs are expensive and the other smart animals are like, birds, elephants, underwater

niche overspecialization

ice shell worlds and super ocean worlds have a tendency to freeze their ocean floors in high pressure ices (sometimes normal ices with i think enceladus) and block volcanic nutrients from mixing into their seas

pure ocean worlds/ice shell worlds probably have issues fixing the deleterous elements of their oceans

idem probably suffer creating nutrient cycles

language

industrial revolution like events (dependent on language)

climate self destruction

Might block space

too big of an earth and it's hard to get into space

ice shell very hard to get to space also

might need a carboneferous in order to have fossil fuels for an industrial era

why no aliens

dust is hell to hit at relativistic speeds

dust is negligible speeds too slow to bother with galactic conquest

zero g is terrible for health

no atmosphere terrible for health

other space things probably terrible for health

small populations on things like space colonies prone to collapse

life would adapt to the generational ship rendering colonization kinda pointless, and generational ship too precarious to survive long term

inward turn (e.g. sinking into vr, wireheading to apathy, becoming too self involved to care about aliens) probably real to some extent

machines smart enough to take over would choose not to because it would hang "existential threat" on them

machines dumb enough to take over fail to really expand outside their system

machines also constrained by dust and relativistic speed. not out of patience but lifespan; quantum decay becomes an issue especially for metal

there will never be a kardeshev civ because no one wants to boil their oceans with waste heat

maximum efficiency with energy limits technological complexity below ocean boiling temperatures

once we figure out physics the hard questions become too personal for aliens to be insightful - politics, biology, psychology, too different

figuring out how to communicate over light years using primitive radio technology not worth it

everyone loses interest once the first question (are we alone) is answered, pretty much.

[sylenth-l]

share the candal fics🔫🔫🔫 NOW

NOOO I'LL PROTECT THEM WITH MY LIIIIFE

Jk jk I'm happy to share 😂

I think it's pretty straightforward on AO3, you just go in the tag and read everything you're interested in. There are 4 pages total, so I don't think it requires some heavy filtering or recs to not get lost in.

BUT since we're talking about fanfiction and I LOVE it 👀✨ I'm gonna use this as an excuse to list some fics anyway, in no particular order.

UPD: added one more work (Like the Pull of the Tide to the Moon) I was so sure I already linked this one, but apparently I didn't, because I'm a dumb idiot?? Sigh

💠 Candy from Strangers - oh, it was the first candal I read, so this one has a special place in my heart. This writer is just generally so good at portraying them, I wholeheartedly recommend to read every single candal on their page, they all are perfect. There're SO MANY things I like about them, but I think the highlight is how good Exos are written and how recognizable Destiny's world in general is. Also the best nsfw content out there

(And for this fic in particular - this thing about the candy gesture is 1000% canon, and if it's not then Bungie just didn't figure it out yet, duh)

💠 Candal Collection - same author and I know I already said they're perfect, but there's no way I'm not including this Holy Bible of candal in that list. Reread every Sunday, 12/10 🔥

💠 Solar flare and Remembrance - ah yes, these two. They're quite different in the mood, but have something similar in them - both are one of those fics where at first you cry from how good, and hot, and soft, and filled with love it is and then you get to the 2nd chapter and. Just cry. 10 times harder.

💠 Lucky Pants - aww, it's the most adorable and funny thing, love it. I can imagine that scene so well. Has a continuation, don't miss it! I felt almost as disappointed as Cayde in it tho lol (I mean it in a good way ofc)

💠 Freckles and Constellations - that's some heartwarming and soulhealing fluff right there, so nice and romantic. Oh and did I mention I absolutely love it when Andal speaks Spanish?

💠 Where Do You See Yourself In The Future - now it's time for some quality angst. The utmost respect for writers who can set the mood so well you feel like sitting in a dark corner and crying even though nothing really bad happened... Yet. And you know what? IT'S THE SAME AUTHOR. They're so good at describing emotions. So you know what to do, read everything they have! (As a bonus there's also a very nice gen about Cayde, Andal and Tevis)

💠 Fool's Gold - ah, I'm a sucker for such dramatic scenes, they just. Make me feel things 🥺 Especially when done so nicely.

💠 Andal/Cayde Word Prompts - another blessed golden mine of candal content, different in mood, genre and length, but all equally amazing 🥺💙 (With occasional mentions of Shiro and Tevis as well!)

💠 live through this - I'm a sucker for such dramatic scenes [2] 🥺 I really like the idea about the gun though, it's actually quite clever and angsty in the just right amount

💠 Little Laramie - oh this, this is such a nice view on how they tried to fix whatever it was between them after the Dare, I love it. Cayde, you're such a dumb idiot (affectionate) Also it features their Ghosts as a couple! My sweet girls!! 😭💙 Once again I recommend to check out other works of this author, not all of them are shippy, but interesting nonetheless

💠 Best Laid Plans - this actually feels like a prequel to the previous fic, they seem to match well to me imo, despite being written by different people. Cayde is a dumb idiot in the exact same amount for sure, sigh This one is like the calm before the storm, the last nice days before everything changes. I just wish this fic was a liiiittle bit longer considering where it ends iykwim… 👀✨

💠 Till We Fall Apart and 最亲爱的人 are both in Chinese. Can I read Chinese? No. Does that stop me? Hell no! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ If you're not scared of Google Translate (or can read Chinese, which is obviously better and I envy you to no end) then go for it and see some other their works (read tags and warnings carefully though, just in case).

💠 Like the Pull of the Tide to the Moon - oh, this is a wonderful ust, very beautiful with both of them being idiots just in the right amount. AND with a good ending after all.

💠 Honorable mention: the rushing sea - it's actually O14 fic that I love, but it has my favorite candal cameo of all time. Thanks to it I discovered I have a kink for my otps beating each other's asses in the best Crucible activity aka Crimson Doubles 😂

And also some works I didn't see on AO3 (maybe I'm just bad at searching…), but still love them:

💠 gamble - I really like how Cayde's thoughts are portrayed here, it's exactly what he'd feel in such situation imo. Bonus points for Felwinter's mountain ✨ They have a couple of other candals as well, so! CLICK THE TAG!!

💠 You’re supposed to talk me out of this - it's filled with so many details and Cayde's feelings are so visible and bittersweet from just this it makes me go aaaahh 😭 Also CLICK THE TAG [2], there are so many quality posts about them here!.. (it's the same author as «Little Laramie» btw)

💠 #6 slow kisses - extra soft and wholesome kissing AND dis was for meee 🥺😭💙

💠 Kinktober Candal - unfairly hot 🔥hair pulling🔥, god bless this author for keeping me fed on this kink in particular. And you know what to do with the tag!

I tried to include no more than 2 fics from the same author to keep this list at a reasonable length, but I once again HIGHLY encourage you to check their profiles, since many of them have more amazing works available and of course to look through the whole tag on AO3, since I obviously didn't link everything!

[a03bkdk]

fantasy bkdk fic rec list

a certain kind of magic by eatdirt

((4590-1/1))

“Forgive me, kind witch! I—I do not wish to disturb you, but I’m afraid it's urgent!"

Katsuki will later blame his bewilderment that anyone—let alone a human boy in filthy rags—would drag themselves all the way out to his home on the outskirts of civilization, for why he stalks down the stairs and cracks open the door.

“Are you a fucking idiot?” he growls.

Or, the one where Katsuki is a witch in a weed-infested swamp and Deku won’t stop coming around.

the shrinekeeper and the harvest god by bkdkwritingsdump

((smut-30148-18/18))

Izuku keeps the shrine of the harvest god, a minor god mostly worshiped by farmers and ignored by everyone else until the yearly harvest festival. During a spring thunderstorm one year, a mysterious man named Katsuki shows up at his shrine seeking shelter from the rain, but ends up over staying his welcome by a few months. In that time, Izuku not only begins to become suspicious of his identity, but finds himself longing for something more between them.

cupid, draw back your bow by almasaga

((i dont remember if there is smut-16496-2/2))

Cupid remembers the oath he took, remembers the broken arrow, remembers the wrath of his mother and goddess, remembers his roots, remembers that he is a god.

But when he hears him he forgets it all.

“Are you there still?” Asks a voice, clear and never wrong. The only voice he wishes to hear.

“Always,” he says and it blows through his beloved.

solar by kindaopps

((smut-7037-1/1))

Here he is, a god, wanting a mortal.

deku by mirachadoodles

((smut-20852-9/9))

Neither seemed willing to look away in the tense silence that fell, drawn to one another as if by a thick and brilliant thread.

The boy viewed him thoughtfully, as though he recognized him from another life, as though he knew him.

It was odd—he felt the same way.

---

Or, shortly after Katsuki's dragon went missing, a naked man attempted to break into his family barn. Izuku had no memory of his past life, and apparently had no idea how to be human, either. He was just acting on instinct.

a cat named deku by  silentsongbird

((6662-1/1))

Bakugou begrudgingly takes in a stray cat that has been hanging around his home. He says he's motivated by the weather turning colder, but he just can't resist the little fur ball. One night, Deku decides to let him in on a little secret.

if the stars align, then for us they were meant by runawaydeviant

((smut-17485-6/6))

Katsuki and Eijirou crash land in a forest to the south of their homeland. Injured and stranded, they befriend a local nature spirit, who is much more than he first appears to be.

soulmates in steel and (p 2)mine is yours by lalazee

((3000-1/1)) (p 2(smut-2509-1/1))

Midoriya Izuku returns to a tribe long lost and forgotten to claim his rightful throne. At least, that's what King Katsuki assumes of him.

(p 2) One large, calloused hand spread sparks down Izuku’s chest, ribs, rested at his lightly bruised hip. Izuku knew fingerprints still remained from last time, and the last, and the time after that. He felt more like a dappled deer now, all those spots smattered across his thighs, ass, hips, wrists. King Katsuki was certainly a man who marked his territory.

but the entrails are the best part! by supercrunch

((15278-1/1))

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

happenstance by merrywetherweather

((78566-22/22))

When Katsuki was just a child, his mother, the King of Lucia, took him to enact diplomacy with the Midoriya's, the royal family of the neighboring country of Tayloria. After that day, his fate was sealed, his marriage arranged to the Midoriya's elusive omegan child.

At the age of twenty, he leaves for Tayloria again, this time, to finally wed his fiance and cement the allyship of the two kingdoms indefinitely. Only, his fiance turns out to be the child he had met on his very first visit, a naive, idealistic young prince who wants nothing to do with marrying the prince of Lucia.

Good thing he just assumed Katsuki was only part of his fiance's entourage.

An arranged marriage between two princes aob au where Katsuki tries to abide by Izuku's desire for a natural romance to develop without letting Izuku know his true identity.

plums by Ivillpunchyouinthethroat

((14116-3/3))

There’s a boy stealing plums from the garden below the balcony Katsuki’s lounging at for the night.

Correction.

There’s a boy stealing plums, very badly, from the garden below the balcony Katsuki’s lounging at for the night.

mermaid AU breathe In by contrarybee

((series-smut-3 works-45236 in all))

Midoryia Izuku was born in captivity. He's never known the ocean.

His human carer Yagi-san tells him they're getting a new merman in the aquarium, one that they hope Izuku might like. Having been alone since his mother's death, Izuku is beyond excited to have a new mer around, but Bakugo Katsuki might prove to be too much. Or maybe he's just right.

fishy by warschach

((smut-19417-1/1))

Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

home is where the waves crash. by tiredwrites

((4105-1/1))

Izuku thrashes in his cage, the fins that line his large tail flare with a dangerous purpose. The claws his fingers taper into slice through the water and catch the light that filters into the clear water of the aquarium tank he's in.

His gills flare in irritation as he flips around, muscled tail ramming into the three-inch glass barrier with a thundering BAM!

Bioluminescent sacs under clear scales flare and glow, flashing a brilliant toxic green. The team that had brought the merman into the tank watch the mer flail and roar, flexing the powerful jaws that can often unhinge, like a snake.

only the roses know by katyastark

((13193-5/5))

Izuku didn’t want to marry a foreigner. The person he wanted was here… somewhere. He didn’t have a face or a name to ascribe to his admirer. Only roses. For every name day and holiday since he was thirteen, he had received a perfect orange rose. He’d never seen anything so beautiful. The roses never failed to make him feel doted upon. It was their secret, and Izuku cherished it more than anything else in the world. He didn’t want to give that up for some stranger, for an alliance through a loveless marriage.

torn fur, blunt teeth by scribespirare

((smut-43013-17/17))

After eight months of being collared, Izuku is finally free. But a dark, stormy city is no place for a lonely shapeshifter on the run.

ignorance leads to bliss by nikawithspice

((smut-3941-1/1))

A brave wandering adventurer swoops in and saves a beautiful prince from danger, gets dragged to a celebratory bonfire and has a night that he could only have dreamed of!

Or, the one in which Midoriya Izuku accidentally gets married to a Dragon Prince but wouldn't have it any other way.

[blacksunscorpio]

Astro Musings No. 6

Libra Lilith

Makes one have a charm that can be deadly. The type to entice someone effortlessly. They are the types to appear innocent but have a bit of a Machiavellian ace up their sleeves. They can be subtly controlling and hard to resist. If in the 12th House, they can manipulate subconsciously and their prey

the object of their affections might not be able to see what’s going on. This can make this placement even harder to resist than a Lilith in Scorpio Jupiter square Lilith in natally or in synastry will make two people gluttons for sex. Or it will make a native a glutton for sex. Not a bad aspect but just make sure to practice safe sex and wear condoms. Worst that can happen is an STD, pregnancy if you’re not ready for it, or wearing yourself out. Your North Node

Falling into your 7th house makes one’s life direction and goal tied to their relationships. The key in this life is to care for others and be “other” oriented. If it hasn’t appeared in life [yet], you can be sure that it will manifest at some point or another.  This placement calls you to put others' needs before your own. If this happens, the key is to know that in this lifetime, your needs won’t be met until you give selflessly to another.

Advice?

Don’t rescue others. Don’t be a captain save-a-hoe. However, there’s no need to cut others off either. [Scorpios and Taureans with this placement, I know this might be difficult for you ;) ] Empower others. Listen. Help others/the ones you care for discover their own strength.

Asteroid Apollo

In astrology, is where you can take something for granted, and ignore it to your detriment. So if your Apollo is touching your Mercury for example, you can take your mind for granted. However, when you focus on it, you can become a master. in synastry, it can be the aspect that makes one enthralled with another. Kind of like Lilith or Pluto. Remember, Apollo is master of the Sun. The other person can see Apollo as this vibrant light. There can be a Luciferian light almost. Undeniably beautiful [remember the only thing that kept Lucifer from being God is the fact that he was created. Let that sink in.]  Obsessive energy with that planet/point. If harshly aspected there will be imbalance so there’s a constant need for harmony.

If One Half of Your Natal Chart is Empty... This indicates you most likely have a Bowl Chart Pattern. It typically manifests as an individual who is self-contained, has strong core values, and a strong streak of dependability. Most of their energy is within 180 degrees of their chart.

6th House Stelliums

Bring a strong focus on health and work. This house is ruled by Virgo. Indicated that there can be strong obsessive compulsions in the aforementioned subjects. If Mercury is here, this is particularly apparent. If the Sun lives here within a stellium they can be quite self-conscious. They’ll be forever working on how to be “their best selves” but won’t give themselves much grace. This particular configuration creates an excess of energy coming into the activities and affairs of this house. It generates obsessive energy. These people can throw their all into their work. The types to pull long hours and work overtime even if they don’t need the extra cash. If Mars is within said stellium, they’ll be types to binge eat but then work out for 4 hours just to burn off the calories. Trigger warning: I often see those who’ve suffered from Anorexia or Bulimia with this placement. They can have a hard time relaxing. Hypochondriacs live here as well. Advice? Take a break and get away from work and have private time. Mind your health but don’t leave it up to you alone. Seek a licensed professional to aid with recovery if you sense you might have issues that are hard to overcome. On a positive note, these individuals can become very good health gurus or at their best, be the types to excel at work and/or fitness.

Mercury Conjunct Lilith in Synastry

Indicates two people who will be intrigued or turned on by the other's mind. The Lilith person can act like Pluto [but remember synastry can go both ways] and kind of dig into the depths of Mercury’s mind. It may make Mercury feel quite uncomfortable if there are hard aspects. The Lilith person might make Mercury fantasize about some pretty illicit shit. They might obsess over them mentally. On the other hand, Lilith can find Mercury fascinating [especially in harmonious aspect] and will want to know everything about them. They can share very deep secrets with each other. Be careful about mind-games or mental manipulation. If this were to be a Tarot combination I’d see it as the Magician and the 5 of Swords 100%. Pisces Martians hate to fight and will usually be the first person to call for peace when in a quarrel. Libra Mars’ are actually the types to fight for justice and will be feistier than you think. Though Sagittarius and Gemini are Opposites... Their commonalities are their charm. Gemini’s and Sag’s can be among some of the friendliest in the zodiac. If you’re looking for the life of the party, look out for a Solar archer or twin. In addition, both can be rather detached emotionally. Sag’s are always looking outward. Think the 3 of wands in Tarot. They’re expansive. Looking for the next big adventure. Gemini’s are the social butterflies of the Zodiac, so what they’ll seek is a new friend, acquaintance, or new subject to occupy their time with. Both get bored VERY easily. They need massive amounts of mental stimulation to keep them happy. Sag’s mental stimulation has more to do with the higher mind [travel, languages, philosophy, spirituality], while Gemini’s have to do with the lower mind [numbers, words, basic intellect, etc.] Though Pisces and Virgo are Opposites... Their commonalities lie in the fact that both are introverted by nature. As mentioned above, Virgo rules the 6th house which governs work and routine. Virgos can retreat into themselves while they break things down and organize. The same with Pisceans when they get into reverie-mode. When they get into their creative trances. Pisces’ ancient ruler is Jupiter which rules the mind just like Virgo’s Ruler Mercury does. The mutable quality of their signs will allow them to jump from topic to topic, both of them staying interested in the flow and the outcome of their conversations. Sagittarius and Taurus Though fire and earth, both capitalize in the realm of indulgence. Jupiter can rule addictions just as much as Neptune and Pluto can. Venus can be hedonistic by nature as well. Both can have a tendency to overindulge. Both are quite blunt. Sag has 0 filter and Taurus is master of sarcasm and blunt statements. Both are unable to sugarcoat. Remember to be real but a little tact never hurt anyone, lol.  When You Have two signs in one house... It will also depend upon the degree of cusp both the signs make in the house. So, the energy of one sign diminishes slowly and the energy of the next sign rises slowly. For example with Leo and Virgo will play an equal part in the house and the Sun and Mercury will rule equally. If your Midheaven is in Aquarius You find satisfaction in the unordinary. There is a desire to stand out unusually. Ambition can be based in the intellectual realm since Uranus rules this sign. Uranians have the highest forms of analytical intelligence. They can excel in connecting with people. Their reputation can surprise. Many may have heard of the or speak about them. The quintessential individual whose “reputation precedes them”. They may try to shock others on purpose. However, though their public persona can be known for their charitable works they can be very opinionated and stark in their views. When under-developed they may be too stubborn to entertain other modes of thought. It’s the nature of fixed air to never change [fixed] their minds [air]. Traditional vs. non-traditional is a struggle in how they approach the world, others, and the success they wish to achieve.     1st House Venus will wear their heart on their sleeve. If Venus is in Capricorn, they may a bit slower to move in love. Perhaps take a more serious approach to things. If harmonious, it can bless some natives with life partners who may have well-established professions. Other times they show their love outwardly in practical ways. They’ll SHOW you how they love by making sure you feel secure and taken care of financially. They’ll want to leave a legacy for their children with their partner. They’ll want their kids to have generational wealth to past down. I often see this aspect with people who have a suffix in their name. Like John Doe the 3rd or someone who has a father or mother who is a Jr. People with this placement may name their children after a family member. Remember the 1st house is the house of self. If Venus is in Cancer, they may be shy in love or adversely they can be very clingy or possessive to their partner or their partner can depend on them too much-- there may be a “mommy” thing going on.

If you’re looking for “immediate attraction” in synastry...

It’s not Pluto. Surprised? People mistake that love at first sight thing for Plutonic influence, but Pluto is shy by nature. Hades minds his business. His obsession will grow though the longer he studies and spends time getting to know you. That's when he’ll start netting up the web.

Uranus is who hits you with that out of the blue. Uranus/Venus interaspects

Can make people feel that instant attraction from out of nowhere. Asteroid Cupido can inflict this on two people as well. In mythology, Cupid son of Venus; his job was to "wound" the unwary with his arrows of love; awaken a consuming affection directed towards a particular object of desire. In astrology, the asteroid Cupido itself is associated with initial enthrallment and acts of seduction performed in order to obtain the love object, not the sexual act itself. It’s the “look of love.” Examples of an overactive Cupido can include crushes, cultivating romance for the sake of the game, or putting the object of desire up on a pedestal. In the dark sense, romantic enthrallment can originate out of a love for the chase, only to abandon the prey once it is caught. That can happen with love at first sight if there aren’t stable and grounded aspects to lock two people together. Uranus also represents sudden breaks, so there can be on-again-off-again tendencies in relationships like this.

Common placements found in people who are surgeons and physicians are often:

Strong Virgo aspects or earth placements

Mercury rules the hands. Virgo is dissecting and analytical. The 6th house is also about health and service. They love to take things apart and put them back together.

Capricorn

as well is quite grounded so they often have steady hands- something a surgeon needs if they are to stand for 10 hours straight during an open heart procedure.

Plutonians

tend to be quite good with medical/surgeon/mortician occupations. Blood, the raw parts of humanity, death does not scare these people. They like to know how things work from the inside. I also see many Moon-Pluto

people with surgical prowess. This aspect I often see in gynecologists. Last but not least, Strong Mars is not afraid of gore or blood. Mars is often seen in surgeons. Mars is all about blood and broken bones. As a result, those with Mars in Aquarius is often seen in orthopedic surgeons. Mars in Cancer or Mars touching Chiron can be good rehabilitation or out-patient doctors. Physical therapists as well.

Your Elevated Planet at an Anaretic degree

[last degree in a sign] can make one feel like they have to rush to become successful. To reach the pinnacle of their dreams as soon as possible. They may feel like no matter how much success they have it is never enough. There may be constant transformation to this most elevated. The closer to the MC, the more it will display itself in public life. They may build and rebuild their reputation over and over again. Take Robert Downey Jr. whose most elevated planet is Neptune [like most actors]. It is at 29 degrees and we see him go from drug-addled Hollywood bad boy just for that reputation to die [29 degrees] and then be reborn into Sherlock Holmes and our beloved Tony Stark [RIP].

If you find yourself able to adapt to most kinds of music

Check to see if your Mercury [communication] or Venus [what you appreciate] is in a mutable sign, a water sign. Also check to see if your moon is mutable or in a water sign. Jupiter is also the ancient ruler of Pisces and he rules expansion and joy. Music is often considered a source of joy and higher thinking. Strong Jupiterian influence can make someone like different kinds of music. Uranian placements such as Sun/Moon or Venus too, it can also be processed very much by the subconscious, So look for  Strong Neptunian or 12th House influence. Strong Virgo placements too since music is technically a science. Why? Because it can be measured. 

Gemini Moons 

Especially in the 2nd house will feel most secure in an intellectual environment. They may also excel monetarily by using their minds to make money. Writing books or setting up podcasts to get their thoughts [mercury]  and voices [2nd house] out there.

Sugar Babies... Are usually the Venus in a Venus/Saturn situation, the Moon in a Saturn/Moon connections, or the Moon in a Moon/Pluto connection. Lilith in trine aspect to another planet in synastry brings out the best in Lilith... Yes, they can still be intense but you’ll see less of her “demonic” energy and more of her benevolent yet wild seductress aspect. With Venus, she’ll bring out the erotic side between both people. Borderline Hedonism in both people. She’ll make a more austere planet like Saturn open up. Make him comfortable with his depraved side instead of flogging himself like a penitent monk in private over it.

Dangerous Natal Placements Can Be:

Neptune in the 8th [rules drownings, suicides, death by mysterious means]

Gemini 8th House

[Can rule breathing issues]

Aries 8th House

[Rules violent deaths or those who can be prone to violence. Be it dishing it out or receiving it.]

Saturn square Pluto

Can make someone quite cruel.

3 or more malefic aspects to Jupiter is often found in psychopaths.

Jupiter in the chart is where we show the most benevolence. Forgiveness and Kindness. If Jupiter is having a hard time, a person may be emotionally stunted or out of touch with their spiritual side. 

Dominant Nessus

Can make someone an abuser.

Mercury in hard aspect to Uranus or Neptune

can cause mental imbalances or someone who has sudden breaks of the mind. The native will need to take care to make their mental health a priority.

Excessive malefic placements to Mercury

Can make someone a pathological liar or have a difficult time telling the truth. 

Algol in hard aspect to Pluto, Sado, Nessus, Saturn

Can also indicate cruelty but also someone who gets pleasure from it. Yikes.

Underdeveloped Leo placements:

Can make a native only focused on their ego and their ego alone which can make them into quite self-serving and as a result, they can suffer from megalomania. Same with Underdeveloped Arian/Martian placements. Hitler was an Aries and Benito Mussolini was a Leo/Apollonian. I’ll just leave that there.

5th house synastry

Makes two people have fun together. If the moon is there they will know what makes the other person “feel” good. What that person needs to make them laugh.

Your 12th House Planets

Are the Planets that are either hidden or expressed more in secret. The ones that have a harder time expressing or exposing themselves.

A 12th House Leo Planet

may only feel brave when they alone. These are the types to take part in drama or be thespians in school because they are easily able to express themselves when they feel they have the safety net of a mask.

A 12th House Cancerian

Planet will find it harder to express emotion or be a bit shyer.

12th House Plutonian Placements

may be extremely introverted and perhaps find themselves able to express themselves more online/ in secret. They can be good at covert ops or spying. They can even be quite psychic. 

12th House Venus/ Venusian people can find love to feel dreamy or even goes unexpressed. Dreamy romantics. They can be unconditional in love but sometimes they can get carried away with their fantasies OR they can love the fantasy of love more than the reality which may cause them to either project their fantasies on others or never fully commit because no one will ever live up to the fantasy they’ve created in their minds about someone else. Take care to love who you love because of who they are. Don’t force anyone to fit into a mold they’re not made for. Astro Musings No. 1 Astro Musings No. 2  Astro Musings No. 3 Astro Musings No. 4  Astro Musings No. 5 Astro Musings No. 7 Astro Musings No. 8  Astro Musings No. 9  Astro Musings No. 10

[marigoldvance]

Staying with Beorn

[drabble under cut]

Carrock is an awesome feat of nature and technology. Tunnels illuminated by solar powered light strips branch off from the main entrance, spiral down and open into a vast grotto in the belly of the mountain that houses a pool of cold, cobalt blue water. The water is filtered through a contraption Beorn built himself – a sleek setup of pipes and tubes and canisters that disappear into the rock, as if the flowerstone formed around it and not the other way around.

Kíli isn’t sure how intricate the plumping actually is, but he knows it’s somehow connected to the irrigation unit in the main chamber, as well as in the designated domestic half of the cave system where Beorn converted a moderately sized doline into a bathing room with functioning showers and, more impressively, a circular, in-ground, tiled Roman bath. For drinking and cooking, Beorn accesses the filtered water through a small well in what Kíli considers the kitchen.

The water isn’t the only thing Beorn accomplished, however. Budding from the stem of each tunnel are dozens of rooms. Though most are too shallow to use, there are plenty that have been given a purpose, both in the domestic and the not-domestic half. Kíli’s jaw was sufficiently dropped last night when he and Fíli explored the not-domestic half with Beorn’s blessing (which amounted to a less severe set to Beorn’s eyebrows and a grunt).

The rooms in the non-domestic half are fitted with pink LEDs and filled with rows of hydroponic crops: assortments of fruits, vegetables and herbs – tomatoes, potatoes, leaf lettuce and peas; cucumber, cantaloupe, strawberries.

(           “Strawberries, Fee! It’s been ages!” Kíli squeals around a large, dribbly bite, eyes closing in bliss as the flavor explodes on his tongue.

Across from him, Bilbo mildly mentions, “You ate all my strawberries the night you pillaged my pantry.”

“Yes,” Kíli agrees, “But, dear Bilbo, these strawberries are sweet and juicy!”

“Harrumph.”

At the head of the table, Beorn pinks beneath his scruff, “I also. Have honey.” He speaks in his halting manner, quietly and to his hands that are laced in his lap.

Kíli perks up, peers around Fíli’s broad back at Beorn with an expression of childlike delight, “Honey?”

Beorn nods once and clears his throat, “I keep. Bees.” He scratches his cheek, “As well.”  

           “Here we go,” Fíli chuckles just for Kíli’s ears, face broadcasting such devotion and fondness that Kíli almost forgets about honey.

Before he asks Beorn, “Can I try some?” he grabs Fíli by the hair at his nape and yanks him in for a quick, smacking kiss, “Shut up.” and then gets down to business.)

Closer to the surface, one of the tunnels is gated, the rooms within converted into pens for a retinue of farm animals the likes of which Kíli was stunned ever existed on the planet. Straw is strewn and piled for bedding, hay feeders and troughs – drained and filled by an apparatus similar to that in the grotto, however not nearly as streamlined – are mounted between the pens. Goats, rabbits, sheep and chickens are free to roam about the space as they please.

           “We could stay.” Fíli says mildly, as if it’s a fleeting thought and not something that’s been weighing on his mind. Then he adds, teasing, “Beorn could do with some regular company.”

           “You mean friends?”

           “I mean verbal.”

Kíli snorts because it’s true. When their group stumbled out of the eagles into the dry, damning land surrounding Beorn’s mountain, Beorn and his subterranean oasis were a godsend. And then Beorn opened his mouth and what fell out of it sounded closer to the tongue of beasts than Adûnaic, consonants hawked like phlegm, though apparently, Adûnaic was what he was speaking. Beorn is definitely someone who could use a normal conversation now and then.

Unfortunately, “We can’t.” Kíli murmurs reluctantly, chin dipping to his chest.

He and Fíli are ensconced in an alcove midway up the wall of the main chamber, borrowed quilts and cushions arranged in a nest around them. Moonlight cascades through the oculus, the wheat below a sea of silver as it seems to absorb the light. Sprinklers spit and whir, the mist carried into the air by the ventilation fans and cooling the hot skin of Kíli’s face and limbs nicely.

Fíli hums in response to Kíli’s statement. Their recent hesitation toward Thorin’s leadership notwithstanding, Fíli’s as aware as Kíli of their obligation to follow him to the end.

           “Fee…?”

           “Yeah?”

Kíli bites his bottom lip, unsure how to phrase his question. He settles on, “The ORCS—”

           “I know,” Fíli leans forward to knead Kíli’s bicep, “Later, baby, okay? We’ve done enough worrying for two lifetimes.”

           “But how did they find—”

            “We’re safe here.” Fíli interrupts, adamant, and it’s not a lie.

What saved them was a bloody horseshoe up their collective arse; if it weren’t for the fact that Gandalf possesses precisely the sort of ancient magic necessary to summon the eagles – magic that neither goblins nor ORCS have, Kíli, along with everyone else, would be goblin shit by now. And Kíli’s thankful for the neverending supply of divine interventions that’ve delivered them from every tight spot they’ve landed in, but eventually, he fears, something’s got to give.

Fíli sighs, always able to hear the wheels turning in Kíli’s head as if they need oiling, “Come ‘ere.”

Abruptly, he shifts, temporarily displacing Kíli as he changes his position against the wall, spreads his legs and opens his arms. Having been leaned against Fíli’s shins, Kíli topples back into the cradle of Fíli’s body, nuzzles his face into Fíli’s throat and takes Fíli by the wrists, guiding Fíli’s to embrace him around the middle.

Fíli’s right, they haven’t had a chance to relax like this since Rivendell; to simply exist in each other’s presence. At least for the moment, they aren’t driven into the shadows by fear or frustration for a rough, reassuring fuck.

A week in Beorn’s mountain is all they’re allotted, Thorin itching to return to the stars as soon as he and Gandalf finish plotting their next move. Goblin Town wasn’t really on the itinerary and now they’re dreadfully turned around. The Journey is a lost cause, probably scrapped by the goblins for whatever goblins do with parts of a ship, and the eagles were a one-way trip, the vortexes impossible to open from this side.

Whatever Thorin and Gandalf intend to do, Kíli’s certain they’ll be ready at the end of the week. Kíli closes his eyes to listen to the soft rustle of the wheatstalks. Behind him, Fíli is a lullaby, the gentle rise and fall of Fíli’s chest, Fíli’s fingers, crawled under Kíli’s thin shirt, stroke Kíli’s stomach in a soothing caress.

Maybe, when their uncle’s quest is behind them, they can come back. Of course, that’s if the ORCS don’t kill them first.

“I’ll protect you,” He thinks he hears Fíli whisper, “Swear.”

Safe and content in his brother’s arms, Kíli drifts into a dreamless sleep.

AVAILABLE ON AO3 🚀

[greenplumbboblover]

Great minds wanted! (Part 1, Interests)

It’s been a while since I posted my first post on the ‘Interests & Hobbies’ mod! But I did do some stuff behind the scenes and currently am working on interactions :) Thus! Was wondering if anyone had some amazing ideas, feedback, etc for it. 

This is what I have so far (warning, this is SUPER long :p):

Interests: 

Environment:

Can install solar panels

Debate climate change

Consider veganism

Read up on environment

Collect rainwater (Unlocks a new object)

Worry about environment (Is a social interaction)

Donate to good causes

Can consider becoming part of a different energy company

Takes bike over car

IF FASHION INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Chooses to use the recycle bin more

Can plant trees on several locations

Can start own local market (Might require the money interest)

Compost trash (Although the lovely @anitmb made one already :))

Grown own garden gives boost

Refill cup for beverages/travelers mugs (So refillable bottle :))

Walk to lot interaction (Which nraas also covers actually)

Talk about renewable energy

Chooses public transport

Food:

Gets buff after visiting restaurant

“Visit random restaurants” interaction

Gets discount for restaurants after visiting then a few times

IF INTERESTS ANIMALS: train dog to find truffles (People apparently do this! :p)

Order fresh ingredient/ this being like these ‘weekly’ food boxes

Tour restaurant’s kitchen, gain recipe from that

Create signature dish

IF ENVIRONMENT: Start herb garden. This is like a small little plant box that you can keep indoors :)

Quicker in learning how to cook

Brewing skill (?)

Nectar tasting becoming a short skill? This resulting in increasing quality?

Write cookbook!

Practise latte art? (idk :p)

Food contest getting a come back!

Keep a ‘food’ aquarium like done in TS2 on console (Sounds awful I know :p But I can also see how it can be useful :))

IF I can do that, recreate ts2′s console cooking UI 

Buy from local market

Breadbaking skill? Or Baking rather ;) Because sourdough bread needs some love too!

Actual make it that the counters can Open. But that might be too much for this mod.

Weather:

Logging the weather (on a notepad or computer, phone. So basically figuring out the weather patterns)

IF SCIENCE: research weather machine

watching clouds

Discuss weather changes

Browse about clouds

Thats all I had :p...

Culture:

Gets buff when traveling

gets buff when talking to tourism

Gets buff on learning songs

Gets buff for any tourism things

Making/viewing photo album

Viewing art is a thing they love to do

Painting gives them a boost

Browse art/craft on phone/computer

Talking about art/culture

Read about art in newspaper

Research culture/art

Edit photos/add filter

Listening to music

IF FASHION: alter clothing (no idea how :p)

Discuss difference between cultures

Fashion:

For the mean simsies: Will nag about your clothing choice

Introduce ACTUAL clothing buying? But by basically unlocking outfits after you bought them (So other EA clothing you can still get when changing a sim’s outfit through the dresser and what not)

IF ENVIRONMENT INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Start a fashion blog

Design your own outfits? (So you pick a top/bottom/body and design an outfit out of that that you can suggest to other sims?)

Catwalks!

Research fashion

Start your own clothing brand 

Start your own clothing webshop?

Money: 

Check the stocks

Donates to government and such

Starting local market

Start partnership

Owning business/property will boost this

IF owning a business: Promote business

IF owning a business: Try to gain partners for the business

IF owning a business: Get more owners

Politics:

That’s where I got a bit stuck... but here are some thoughts:

Get people to be involved for protests

Do protests

Talk about politics

Start campaign

IF that campaign gets big, then have debates at the City hall

Paranormal:

Find mediums online

Feels a need to meet all occults

Feels super good to be around other occults

Does Ouija boards, spawning ghosts

Trying to find whether they’re ‘spiritually gifted’ or not

Gems will give them boosts and might give them interactions to heal sims with particular gems?

Hunt for UFO’s

Trying to feel the room for ‘paranormal energy’.

Health:

Goes into check ups regularly

Will want to go do fitness regularly 

Aaand that’s that really :p... Might merge this with ‘sports’

Travel: 

Honestly was thinking of merging this with Culture.

Crime:

Steal all the things!...

Or return all the stolen things from other sim!

Wants to talk to the police whether everything is going well

Wants to talk to criminals to figure out how ‘the business is going’

Help the criminals to dig a hole? :p

I honestly don’t know

Sports:

Host sports watching parties!

Wants to visit the games/watch the games on tv

Going to the gym is the best thing ever for them

Show off muscles to sims

Motivate people to participate in sports

Read sports news

playing sports with VR goggles

Train at random places

Buying a smart watch (like a fitbit) and will see the stats of a sim’s fitness routine in a nice UI Screen :)

Honestly, more ‘at home’ gym related workouts.

Entertainment:

Will want a subscription to be able to watch movies at home (because c’mon EA :p)

Loving to go to the theater! :)

Might want to take drama classes?

Will love to browse the internet about their favourite characters/movies

Animals:

Wants to show cute videos of animals

Might want to consider veganism?

Enjoys doing pet related activities

Bird watching

Penguin ts2 comeback :p

Feed the pigeons

In-home dog/cat trainer? Or where you’re like a ‘cat/dog’ whisperer :)

Work:

Nooo idea

School:

Also nooo idea :p

Toys: 

Same for that one 

Sci-Fi:

Research rockets

Research robots/AIs

Try summoning UFO’s (maybe even a UFO party where everyone is trying this?)

Can put on aluminum hats 

Meeting an alien is the best thing ever for them

Interactions for all:

Talk about interest...

Read section in newspaper...

[refuge-au]

>Open the Captain's File

Xisuma: Break the News

The model in the center of the entrance hall spun slowly, the mechanical, to scale, planets orbiting the massive sun at a rate thousands of times faster than their real counterparts did. The fake sun glowed softly, it’s light dimming briefly as Jupiter crossed between it and the man viewing it. Jupiter’s moons and the metallic arms that held them above the ground created a spiderweb pattern of shadows on the ground that slowly swept across the body of the visitor as it moved.

Xisuma stood several feet away from the center of the solar system model, his eyes tracing the path of Earth as it came out from behind the sun in an almost melancholy way. His brown hair was tied back in a short ponytail, his beard freshly trimmed- although you couldn’t see it at all thanks to the respirator he was wearing. He had even gone to the trouble of putting on one of his more casual dress uniforms.

The effort hadn’t gone unnoticed by the museum staff, drawing a couple of confused looks and some whispers, but he did his best to ignore him. What he had to say wouldn’t go over well, so he might as well look nice. Get some compliments.

The door opened, and the employee greeted the group of people that walked in cheerfully. X turned around, taking a deep breath, and smiled. Show time.

An older woman, just a bit shorter than him, her hair almost completely white, was pushing the wheelchair of a man that someone might have mistaken for him, if his hair weren't as white as hers and his face covered in scars. The woman checked in at the front desk quickly, showing a pass, and then turned and saw him, her eyes crinkling in a smile.

She walked over to Xisuma, the man in the wheelchair saying something and rolling over to the other side of the model.

“Hey, mom.” He said, trying to ignore the way his bottom lip trembled when she pulled him into a hug, her respirator digging into his shoulder.

“You’re all dressed up.” She said, stepping back and putting a hand to his cheek in the way that she always had when they were little. “You look nice, honey.”

“Thank you.” He said, bringing his hand up to cover hers. “You look nice too.”

She chuckled, patting the side of his face and then putting her hand down. “Oh, stop. I didn’t realize that this was going to be a formal dress event, or I would’ve thrown on something besides my work clothes.”

“It’s not a formal dress event, I just felt like cleaning up a bit.” Xisuma shrugged, hoping that the tension in his shoulders didn’t betray the news that he was bringing. “Haven’t had the opportunity to wear this in a bit, got a discount on museum admission, you know.”

She smiled at him again, but her eyes seemed… sad. “…Xisuma, we’re very proud of you. You know that, right?”

“I know.” He replied. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just looking at him, as if she was searching for an answer to an unspoken question in his eyes. Whatever she found there didn’t seem to change her emotions, her soft smile and that strange sadness remaining as she pulled her purse to the front of her, opening it.

“You should go talk to your brother, dear. I need to go change my filter before I forget.”

“You didn’t change it before you came here? Mom…”

She waved one hand in the air as she continued to move things around in her purse with the other. “The alert came just as we got inside. A few minutes on a bad filter isn’t going to kill me.”

“…Alright. We’ll wait for you.” Xisuma said, and his mother waved him off as he headed over to the other side of the model where his twin brother was sitting, staring up at the planets in silence.

He reached his side, and stopped. Neither of them spoke for what seemed like forever.

Finally his brother spoke. “Xisuma.”

“Xenelis.” He replied, looking down to find his twin’s steely grey eyes staring up at him.

“Where are they sending you this time?” Xenelis’ voice was quiet, raspy- although he didn’t know if it was from the medical grade respirator attached to his mouth and nose or from his vocal cords being underused.

Xisuma started. “What? What do you mean?”

“You didn’t visit us at home or at the hospital, you called us out. You’re dressed up, but you didn’t tell us that this was a formal event. You’re stiffer than usual, which is saying something, and you look like you’re homesick even though you’re a fifteen minute commute away from your apartment.” Xenelis said, his voice carefully void of all emotion. “Where are they sending you?”

Xisuma looked away, breaking eyes contact and staring up at the solar system spinning above him. “Off planet.”

“Out of galaxy?”

“Yes.”

“How far?”

Xisuma didn’t respond for a moment too long, and that was all the answer that his brother needed. His sigh, heavy and full of disappointment and bitterness, hit Xisuma like a bullet to the heart.

“Of course.” Xenelis said. “Well, congratulations. You did it. You left us behind, just like you always wanted too. Good job, bro.”

“Damnit, Xen, you know that’s not-“ Xisuma rounded on his brother, hands automatically going to his hips.

“It’s not? It’s not? It sure as hell looks like it is. You’ve been leaving our whole lives, Iz- it’s just nonstop leaving and leaving and leaving- and now you finally don’t have to come back!” Xenelis snapped. “Good for you! Living your dream!”

“This mission is for the sake of the entire planet! I can’t just refuse to go on a mission that might make or break the human race-“

“Of course you can! You’re not the only high ranking officer out there! They could’ve found someone else, anyone else!”

“They came to me, specifically, asked me to pick out a crew, told me that we would save the world- how am I supposed to turn that offer down? You would’ve taken it in an instant-“

“Not if you were in my position I fucking wouldn’t’ve-!”

“Boys?” Their mom called from the other side of the model.

“Coming, mom.” They chorused automatically, shooting each other a glare. Xisuma walked around one side of the model and Xenelis rolled around the other, meeting in the middle.

Their mother smiled at both of them, apparently unaware of the argument that had been rapidly escalating until she entered the conversation. “There you are. Shall we go look at the new exhibits? I heard they had one about the Titanic.”

“Sure, mom.” Xisuma said, falling into step behind her as she led the way into the museum.

The visit was… cordial. Their mother chatted with both of them about equally, talking about this and that, whatever came to her mind. She was probably trying to fill the heavy silence that fell between the twins, Xenelis refusing to speak to Xisuma, and vice versa.

When they reached the end of their museum tour, pausing in the aquarium section before they left, Xisuma bit the bullet.

“Mom,” he said, folding his hands behind his back. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“Go ahead, dear.” She said absently, watching as a massive manta ray swam overhead.

Bathed in the blue light from the massive aquarium tank, she and Xenelis looked almost peaceful. Gods only knew how made Xen really was, however, and Xisuma knew that it was only a trick of the light. Or maybe it was a trick of the mind, him trying to convince himself that him leaving wouldn’t hurt them as much as he knew it would.

“…I’m leaving.” He said, turning to watch as the manta continued on its way. “They’re sending me on a mission to deep space.”

Her eyes closed momentary, steeling herself as she turned to him. “Deep space?”

“Past Centauri.” He said quietly. “They’re building a team of scientists and researchers to start colonizing a new planet.”

“Why so far away?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly.

“Mars can’t sustain a population like Earth’s, and after the Venus colonies failed… the galaxy isn’t suitable for life anymore. You know it’s true, mom. You’ve watched it happen. Think of how different things are now from when you were a kid.” His tone was soft, but he knew that there was a hint of pleading in there somewhere. She must understand. She wouldn’t be mad at him too, right?

“I know, I know, but… but of all people, why you?” Her voice broke, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

Xisuma’s heart sank as he stepped forward, hugging her. “They couldn’t find anyone better to do it. Mom-“

“When will you come home?” She asked, her voice thick with tears.

“I don’t know.” Maybe never. “I… don’t know.”

She cried for a while, and her sons remained in silence, one other knowing what to say, and the other not wanting to say anything.

When she finally stopped, she only had positive things to say. She was proud of him, she was sure he was going to do great, they would be able to communicate, even if it wasn’t face to face… but that sorrow in her eyes that he had noticed before was much more prevalent.

Had she expected this?

Was he really as predictable as Xen said he was?

They said their goodbyes just outside the museum. His mother hugged him tightly, told him she would see him soon.

Xenelis’ eyes crinkled in what he knew was some form of a mocking smile or sneer. “I hope you have fun, Iz.”

“I’m not leaving right away. I’ll see you again.”

“That’s what you always say.” Xen retorted sharply, turning and rolling away towards the ramp down to the street, where their mother was already waiting.

Xisuma stood at the door to the museum and watched them get into a car and fade out of sight, his heart heavy in his chest.

Computer: New Command unlocked!

Computer: Input the command Profile: [Name] to open the file associated with that person. Please note: some files or portions of files may not be available due to clearance levels.

Computer: Input Command: Show Available Files:

> Open the Pilot’s File.

> Open the Doctor’s File.

> Continue.

[justkeeponsimming]

                                        The Sims 4: Eco Living                            Game Changer Live Stream Notes

Hey, everyone! I am so glad that I can finally share information with you from a Game Changer live stream on 11th May 2020! Now that the public livestream has aired, a lot of information is already out, but I still want to share my four pages of notes! I’m sure that I’ve missed a lot! My notes are very rough, but I’ll try to categorise them as much as possible! :) Please block the tag #jks plays eco living or #eco living spoilers if you’d like to!

The World:

🌞 World is called Evergreen Harbour  🌞 Grims Quarry, Conifer Station, and Port Promise are neighbourhood names  🌞 World is a turn of the 19th century industrial town and trying to reestablish itself  🌞 15 lots in Evergreen Harbour  🌞 Animated world map  🌞 Eco level toggle on world map view to show how eco friendly a neigbhourhood is from map view - green barrier is green, white is neutral - brown is industrial CAS: 🌞 CAS items can be made from recyclables! 🌞 CAS is inspired by thrift shop style 🌞 7 female full body outfits 🌞 New jewellery and new piercings - plugs - new glasses 🌞 Children's bag hats have drawings on them. The bag hats are for toddlers too 🌞 New Aspirations - Maker - focuses on new craftables - recycling, dying items, candle making, fabrication etc. Eco Innovator - build cycles, selling surplass power etc. 🌞 Lots of new traits - Green Friend - make the world green, Recycle Disciple - organise trash - Maker - someone wants to be building and crafting - Fregan - doesn't mind where food comes from and will dumpster dive for it Build/Buy: 🌞 How you build your lot affects your eco footprint. Using concrete and metal is non-eco friendly. 🌞 Walls and floors have an eco friendly marker. Using them will contribute to your eco title. This will affect buy mode with the markers also 🌞 Marker examples include: low fire and high fire resistance, some types of flooring can spread water out more 🌞 New roof textures!! Solar shingles which generate power and have colour swatches 🌞 Off the grid lot trait gets upgrades - if you produce your own power you can use anything (non-off the grid items) until you run out of power and water. Candles and lights now properly categorised to work for Off the Grid. 🌞 Category for Off the Grid in Buy Mode now  🌞 New lot trait - reduce and recycle - you can manage your rubbish like never before.- roaches are back! 🌞 Hydro planters for auto watering and vertical planters 🌞 Windows can now be freely placed on surfaces 🌞 A ladder is base game patch 🌞 Solar panels! Roof ones and freestanding angled ones. Roof ones will angle to your roof shape. The Eco System: 🌞 UI change  - eco footprint system. Applies to all worlds including strangerville and sulani to show the eco rating. You can get smog in most worlds and the aurora. Industrial, neutral and green eco footprints 🌞 If you obtain a green footprint you get clear skies, higher quality plants, no coughing etc. 🌞 Pros and cons to either footprint. You can play either way - no particular benefits to either one 🌞 There is a community voting board in the open street in each neighbourhood where you can view neighbourhood action plans. NPCs can vote on plans and you gain influence to sway their votes. Option to turn off npc voting. 🌞 Neighbourhood Action Plans (NAPS) include examples such as: Free Love is one plan example, no jealousy and does not count as cheating, open romancing on the street. Juiced Community is another NAP example.  Modern Developments change the appearance of things etc. - phased changes/appearance changes in Evergreen Harbour only 🌞 Influence is a new currency for NAPS. You can get influence from levelling up friendships, etc.  🌞 Notifications show what has changed in the neighbourhood, takes about a sim week to show up 🌞 Knox is an Eco Master - he will come to ask about voting. neighbourhood action plans introduced. another new system that allow you to implement broad policies per neighbourhood. Community Lot Type: 🌞 Community Space - new lot type - voting is separate on community spaces. - can turn into a market, garden or makers space. Can edit in build/buy. - sub lots. Gameplay:  🌞 Ladders are brand new! single tile. function like stairs. Can build over multiple floors 🌞 Upgrading your appliances also helps the eco rating. 🌞 You can now click on bins and sort between recyclables, usual rubbish etc 🌞 You can filter the inventory!!! - favourite stuff and multiselect stuff - comes with the free update! 🌞 Eco upgrade parts needed for fabricator/to make existing appliances Off the Grid friendly. You can also buy dyes or have to make rarer ones from materials or find them by dumpster diving 🌞 New skills - Fabrication - for all of the crafting in game - candle making, fabricating etc. Juice Fizzing - for the bottled juice fizzing making etc. 🌞 New freelance career - Freelance Crafter 🌞 Bills now updated - so you have power and water bills as well as tax. If you produce more power or water than your sims use, then you can earn money from your bills rather than owing them 🌞 Grow cruelty free meat on vertical planters. You can massage and tenderise the faux meat which improves it's quality. If you let it dry out, it will turn into faux meat jerky. Can use in recipes. High enough cooking skill means you can harvest in a special way. 🌞 Death by flies 🌞 Instant go home interaction now 🌞 Americana is a new radio station 🌞 Upgrade using eco parts and non eco parts. - toilets can become composting containers. slight chance they will catch fire New NPCs: 🌞 FIREMEN - Just classic npcs - not a career. They will come automatically if you've placed a fire alarm. If you have not placed one, you can call them. You can click on flame and select “Alert fire department”. You can prank them and you'll get fined. If it's a legit fire they won't fine you if you put it out. You can have the firefighter outfit in CAS. You get a fireproof buff whilst wearing it. There’s a rare chance the firefighters will do something special if they lurk on your lot Firefighters come with the patch update. New buff - “saved by firefighters” 🌞 Repoman is a patch (and apparently all the notes that I have on them <_<)

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[anxietysroomsupport]

I feel like a liar all the time. I'm self deprecating because inside I feel so much better than Eve one else, so I push it down with "no you're not, idiot" "you're just being stupid" "stop trying to pretend you're hurting". It's gone so far that I have no idea if I'm actually hurting anymore. It's like I WANT stuff to be wrong, but I know I couldn't handle it. I WANT to hate myself, but I don't. I'm so freaking obsessed with myself that I sound like a struggling jerk whenever I (1/?)

(2/?) get a compliment or try to reassure someone because I'm that awful of a person. But actually, I'm not. Not in my opinion. I know I am, but there's still that part of my brain that's SCREAMING at me all the time. Screaming at me how I don't understand people being genderfluid, don't personally understand feeling that way, that I don't think their valid. It's like a punch to AP the stomach. I would never invalidate someone, but apparently I'll never have the barest amount of (2/?)

(3/?) empathy. Everything about me is a contradiction that boils down to secretly being cruel and obsessed with myself. I hate hate hate myself for it, but I also know I don't. I'm completely, utterly fine, and I just can't accept it. I'm just the hugest hypocrite in the world, layer upon layer. And I don't know what I truly believe anymore. Lol anyways I need therapy. (3/3)

Hi Anon,

We probably all need a little therapy at this point.  I highly recommend it.

I feel like if I just try to say outright that, no, you’re not a liar, or idiot, or pretending, or etc. you aren’t likely to believe me.  You’re in a bad head space right now, and that’s okay.  You’re allowed to be there.  Don’t worry, I’ll come to you.

Let’s just breath for a second.  Feel the temperature of the air.

Okay.

Sometimes you look around and realize you are deep in a hole, and you’re holding the shovel.  You didn’t intend to create this mindset, but, here you are.  So what can you do?

It’s really hard for people to swing all the way from self-hate to self-love.  It doesn’t feel right, earned.  It’s uncomfortable.  When you’re used to insulting yourself all the time, breaking that habit is somehow harder than not saying anything.

This article explains in more detail what I’m going to sum up here: it might feel silly, but start smaller.  Think about the most common ways you insult yourself and pick a phrase to replace it with (because just not saying anything is hard).  Practice it a few times.  

If “idiot” is your go-to, replace it with a milder version of the same thing.  The goofier the better.  Imagine you’re trying to write insults for Adventure Time.  Things like “ding dong” and “bad biscuits” are great options.  “Ya ding dong” sounds a like gentler than “You idiot”.

Next, revise your phrases.  All the forms of the word “be” are now off limits: am, are, being, etc.  You are not defined by your failings.  They are just things, separate from You.  Replace “I’m being a jerk.” with “I made a dum.”  It sounds ridiculous, I know it does, but seriously, it works.  It just takes time and practice, which means you have to actively be thinking about it and try to do it when things come up.

Third, cause three seems like enough for right now, search your mind for things you can appreciate, even just a little.  For me it was (still is) things like taking a full breath in the morning and just feeling it or looking at something colorful.  

Of course you feel like you’re better than everyone else.  No one knows what you’re like better than you, and part of you can see the things about you that are genuinely good.  You are the hero of your story.  Of course you’re selfish.  You’re the main character.  Your experience is entirely filtered through the lens of being you.  

Everyone - everyone - both is and isn’t better than everyone else.  We’re both better and worse at different things.  That’s what makes us special, and it’s also what makes humans so uniquely social, because our talents are so varied we get more done together than apart.  8 billion koalas all in communication with each other would still only eat leaves, fight, and reproduce,  8 billion humans all together create life saving medicines and calculate trajectories for satellites to visit every planet in the solar system.  

So when you notice yourself feeling superior, it’s true.  You’re appreciating your own abilities.  When you notice your flaws, those are also true.  But the thing is - the bad things don’t cancel out your good.  You can have flaws and talents at the same time.  You can be dealt a better hand at life than others and still struggle.  All these things can be true at the same time.  

You are not pretending to hurt.  You are clearly hurting.  

You are not an idiot.  You’re learning, and there’s so much you don’t know - there’s more to learn than any one person could ever learn in a lifetime.  You will never know everything.  You will never run out of things to learn.  You will always be realizing things were not quite what you thought before, and that’s how you grow.

You are not a liar.  You lie sometimes.  It’s what you’ve learned to do because it’s easier to move through life that way.  

It’s okay to not personally have a complete, partial, or even a scrap of understanding about what someone else’s experiences are like.  Understanding is not a requirement of compassion, sympathy, or empathy.  We don’t need to understand in order to be good people.  Like Stan and Token from South Park taught us, sometimes we just have to admit we don’t, and can’t, know what it’s like.  But we stand up for each other anyway.

Anyways, definitely go get therapy.  If you can.

-Miss Fay

[real-espanadrid]

Please Call Me Again

Pairings: wangxian, background xuanli, xiyao, chengqing

Tags: modern setting, college au, fluff, silly, mutual pining, no courtesy names, single dad/physics student wwx, music/literature student lwj

Summary: Lan Zhan prank calls Wei Ying pretending to be a scam caller. It’s supposed to be a one-time thing. (Spoiler alert: it isn’t.)

Author’s Note: i decided on a whim to delve into the world of cql fic-writing...here’s my first attempt! enjoy!

Lan Zhan glares at the figures of Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan blatantly laughing at him as he lifts his phone to his ear, furiously contemplating the pros and cons of committing homicide against the two people who he grudgingly accepts as his friends. While he waits for the person on the other end to pick up, he asks himself why he keeps accompanying his brother to these Lan-Jin-Nie family get-togethers when he knows Nie Huaisang always has some ridiculous scheme planned that both he and Jin Zixuan always, without fail, end up getting roped into.

This time, Nie Huaisang has apparently decided that today is a good day for prank calls. Jin Zixuan has already been dared to call Jiang Yanli using Jin Guangyao’s work phone, which Nie Huaisang had stolen while Jin Guangyao was greeting Lan Huan with the usual single-minded focus that characterizes all his interactions with Lan Zhan’s brother.

The task had been to pretend to be a volunteer with a generic charity organization, but Jiang Yanli, in a twist that wasn’t really a twist at all, considering the enormous crush she has on the man, had recognized Jin Zixuan’s voice immediately. Lan Zhan had been forced to watch Jin Zixuan stutter his way through an explanation while Jiang Yanli’s gentle laughter filtered through the phone’s speaker and Nie Huaisang smiled knowingly behind his ever-present hand-painted fan.

The intention behind the dare is obvious, in Jin Zixuan’s case, because he’s been pining after Jiang Yanli for months now and hasn’t done a thing about it, despite her equally evident interest in him. It does, however, make Lan Zhan a little concerned about whose phone number Nie Huaisang has made him dial, because for him, the end goal is less clear.

Lan Zhan isn’t given the chance to fully mull over his apprehension, though, because the phone finally stops ringing as someone picks up.

“Hello?” It’s the voice of a man, fairly young-sounding. He seems totally unfazed.

“Hello,” Lan Zhan says stiffly. “How are you today?”

“I’m great!” says the man brightly.

Lan Zhan blinks, taken aback by the unexpected enthusiasm of the reply. “...Good,” he says, unsure of what an appropriate response to that would be. “I am calling because – your IP address has been compromised.” Making up dialogue on the spot is horrible, he discovers. He fixes Nie Huaisang with a look that he hopes will haunt his friend’s dreams for the next few nights. “I will need you to – get in front of your computer so we can fix your account.” It feels unlikely, but maybe the man on the other end hasn’t noticed Lan Zhan’s hesitation as he fabricates a reason for his call.

“Okay!” the man agrees, still unsettlingly excited. Lan Zhan wonders who this man is and why Nie Huaisang thought Lan Zhan, of all people, should prank call him. “There’s one thing I’m wondering, though.”

“What?” Lan Zhan finds that he actually is somewhat curious.

The man laughs a bit. It’s a distractingly pleasant sound. “You really couldn’t think of a better lie? Like, my ‘IP address has been compromised.’ How, exactly, does an IP address become ‘compromised?’”

There’s a long pause following the question. Maybe the man is waiting for Lan Zhan to reply. If he is, he’s going to be disappointed, because Lan Zhan has no idea what to say to this. He suddenly feels a pang of sympathy for any real scam callers who have called this number before.

The man seems to realize he isn’t going to get a response because he cheerfully continues talking. “I was just wondering, that’s all!”

This is a logical point in the call to hang up. Lan Zhan has technically already carried out Nie Huaisang’s stupid dare – he’s impersonated a scam caller and spoken to this man for long enough. But for whatever reason, he hears himself speak again. “Why did you answer?”

It’s the man’s turn to fall silent. Lan Zhan lets himself feel a little smug at being able to leave this man speechless for a few moments. “What?” the man finally asks.

“If you knew this was not a legitimate call, then why did you answer?” Lan Zhan presses. He wants to know the answer, he realizes. He’s intrigued by this man, wants to know why he’s still talking to Lan Zhan despite believing he has possibly malicious intentions.

“Oh!” the man says, and he sounds a little awkward now. “I just thought I would, uh, you know, have some fun at your expense!”

Lan Zhan frowns in confusion. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan watching him with poorly-hidden amusement. “What expense? Talking is no expense to me.”

The man lets out a hum. “Well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal.”

“My goal?” Lan Zhan asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Your goal of scamming Granny,” the man says matter-of-factly, like Lan Zhan should have already been aware that the number he called is not, in fact, the man’s number – and Lan Zhan is decidedly not disappointed about that – but his grandmother’s. “You’re not accomplishing that! I’d call that an expense.”

Lan Zhan can’t help himself – he improvises a new question. “Well, can I scam you?” Jin Zixuan’s eyes widen in surprise, and Nie Huaisang looks faintly impressed.

The man is silent once again. “Did you –” he breaks off, sounding bewildered, which for some reason feels like a victory.“Did you just ask if you can scam me?”

“Yes,” Lan Zhan confirms, and then just to be clear, he asks again. “Can I scam you?”

“Uh – um, sure, you can try,” the man says, and for the first time in this call, he sounds a little flustered.

Lan Zhan can’t believe that worked. He quickly cycles back to the start of the conversation and his original request. “You need to be in front of your computer.”

The man lets out a huff of laughter. “Yeah, that’s still a problem. I didn’t sleep last night and I’m eating tater tots right now and I don’t really feel like getting up.”

“Okay,” Lan Zhan says, and he isn’t sure what makes him do it, but he continues, “I will call you tomorrow morning, then.” Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang’s jaws both drop at that.

“I...I might not answer,” the man says after a moment of hesitation. Lan Zhan wonders if he came on a little too strong. “Granny definitely won’t.”

“You answered today,” Lan Zhan points out.

“Ahaha,” the man says, his laughter coming across as slightly nervous. “Touché?”

Lan Zhan nods, before he remembers the man can’t see him. “Mn. I will call you tomorrow. Get some sleep tonight. Have a good day.” He hangs up before he can hear the man’s response.

“Lan Zhan,” Nie Huaisang says the second Lan Zhan pockets his phone. “That was insane.”

“I completed the dare as you asked,” Lan Zhan says, perfectly aware that he went way beyond what was necessary, and that both Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan know it too.

“You are way too good at scam calling,” Jin Zixuan says in a vaguely accusatory way. “Who were you even talking to, anyway?”

At that, Nie Huaisang’s smile becomes a little more amused. “Well, since Lan Zhan is going to be calling him again tomorrow morning, why doesn’t he just ask then?”

“I do not intend to call him,” Lan Zhan says, even though lying is forbidden.

Nie Huaisang gives him a look that’s somehow both sympathetic and condescending. “Sure you don’t.”

Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan eventually get back at Nie Huaisang later in the day by “accidentally” revealing to Jin Guangyao that they know where his work phone has disappeared to, but Lan Zhan doesn’t get his usual momentary satisfaction from watching Nie Huaisang unsuccessfully try to convince Nie Mingjue that he doesn’t know anything about the missing phone. Instead, his mind is stuck on a bright, cheerful voice and the sound of sweet laughter.

~~~

Wei Ying has been having a weird couple of days. On Wednesday, he experienced the high of finishing his solar spectroscopy lab two days early, which has never happened before in this entire semester. On Thursday, things quickly deteriorated when Wei Yuan threw a tantrum because he wanted to spend an extra ten minutes watching TV instead of going for his bath, and then got even worse when Wei Ying realized that in his eagerness to finish the lab early, he forgot to do his Quantum Field Theory problem set for the week and had to pull an emergency all-nighter.

Then yesterday, in his sleep-deprived state, he had a bizarre conversation with the strangest scam caller he’s ever interacted with – not that he’s interacted with many to begin with, but still – and now, here he is again, picking up Granny’s landline because somehow, the scam caller has made good on his promise to call again.

“Hello,” Mr. Scam Caller says, and his deep, calm voice is somehow even more attractive than it was yesterday.

“Mr. Scam Caller!” Wei Ying says happily, and he’s a little surprised by how genuine the emotion in his own voice is. “You called again! I wasn’t expecting you to actually do it.”

Mr. Scam Caller doesn’t say anything for a few moments. “I said I would,” he finally says.

Wei Ying can’t help laughing at that. “I guess you did.” Mr. Scam Caller is silent again, but that’s fine with Wei Ying – he can do enough talking for both of them. “I’m Wei Ying, by the way. Since you were good enough to call me back, I think you deserve my name, even though you’re trying to scam me.”

“You should not give out your name to random people,” Mr. Scam Caller says, like he doesn’t collect sensitive information from people for a living. “Especially scam callers.”

“Ah, but you’re not just any scam caller,” Wei Ying says. “You’re my scam caller. You even told me to get some sleep last night, and I did! I slept for almost five hours, aren’t you proud of me?” He wants the answer to be yes, he realizes as he asks, but he isn’t quite sure why.

“Mn,” Mr. Scam Caller says. There isn’t much inflection in his tone, but it’s clearly supposed to be a noise of agreement, and Wei Ying flushes.

“Ahahaha, Mr. Scam Caller,” he says, trying not to sound too affected by this very basic form of praise. “Don’t you think you should share your name with me too? It’s only fair since you already know mine, after all.”

Mr. Scam Caller is silent for so long that Wei Ying is about to take it back and laugh the request off, but then he speaks again. “Lan Zhan.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying repeats, testing out the name. It sounds familiar, somehow, but he can’t figure out why that is. “Lan Zhan! What a good name! I could say your name all day, Lan Zhan.”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, and Wei Ying is not prepared for hearing his name coming out of Lan Zhan’s mouth. “Do not joke.”

“I’m not joking, Lan Zhan, I promise!” Wei Ying says intently, holding up three fingers before remembering that Lan Zhan can’t see him. “Lan Zhan is a great name.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. This ”Mn,” is different from the one before, Wei Ying thinks, more noncommittal, like he’s neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

There’s a lull in the conversation, and Wei Ying is suddenly desperate to keep it going. “So, Lan Zhan,” he says. “How are you going to try to scam me today?”

“You need to be in front of your computer,” Lan Zhan says, and Wei Ying is startled by the brief flash of disappointment he feels that Lan Zhan didn’t just call simply to talk to him again. He brushes the thought away a second later – of course Lan Zhan only called because he’s a scam caller and it’s his job.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I can’t,” Wei Ying says. “A-Yuan is using it to play games right now. How can I disturb him when he’s so clearly enjoying himself?”

“A-Yuan?” Lan Zhan asks.

Wei Ying grins. “My son!” he says, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice as he talks about the little boy who stole his heart the moment they met.

Lan Zhan is quiet for several long moments. “I see,” he finally says, sounding more stiff than he had before. “I will stop imposing on you, then.”

“Huh?” Wei Ying says, his smile vanishing. “What do you mean?”

“I have been disturbing you and your family,” Lan Zhan says, his voice still cold compared to how it had sounded previously. “I apologize for intruding on your time. Goodbye, Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan, wait!” Wei Ying blurts out. He holds his breath, straining his ears to hear whether Lan Zhan is still on the other end. When he hears the steady sound of breathing, he exhales shakily. “You aren’t intruding, Lan Zhan,” he explains in a rush. “You’ve been really great all two times I’ve talked to you, you know? And you didn’t have to look out for my sleep schedule but you did, and now you’re trying to protect me and my son from yourself, and I know you’re a scam caller, but I – I mean, talking to you is...nice?”

Lan Zhan stays quiet for a long time, and Wei Ying worries that he’s scared him off. “It is nice speaking to you as well, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says after several long moments that feel like forever to Wei Ying.

“Good,” Wei Ying says, and he truly has no idea why he’s so overwhelmingly relieved. “Good, then don’t hang up on me yet, Lan Zhan. You haven’t even tried to get any sensitive information from me!”

“Do you want me to try to get sensitive information from you?” Lan Zhan asks, which is an incredibly baffling question to hear from a scammer.

“Yes,” Wei Ying says, before he considers the question more carefully. “No? I don’t know, Lan Zhan, now you’re confusing me! What kind of scam caller makes their customer confused by asking odd questions instead of going on with their scamming?”

“I apologize,” Lan Zhan says. “I will refrain from asking confusing questions and focus on scamming you in the future.”

Wei Ying bursts into laughter. “Lan Zhan!” he says delightedly. “Has anyone ever told you how funny you are?”

“No,” Lan Zhan says, and Wei Ying can’t see his face but he imagines that Lan Zhan looks a bit puzzled, which is adorable. “People generally tell me I am not particularly funny.”

“They’re all wrong,” Wei Ying declares confidently. “You’re very funny, Lan Zhan! And a great conversation partner. Even while you’re in the middle of scamming someone.” Though, he belatedly notices, there have been very few attempts on Lan Zhan’s part to actually commit any kind of scam. “You’ll have to call me every day from now on, so you can have someone to remind you how funny you are!”

It sounds like Lan Zhan says something along the lines of “Mark your words,” but Wei Yuan suddenly runs into the living room, distracting Wei Ying. “Baba, Baba!” he says, practically vibrating with enthusiasm as he launches himself into Wei Ying’s arms.

Wei Ying manages to tuck the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he sweeps Wei Yuan onto his lap. “What’s the matter, kiddo?”

Lan Zhan makes an inquisitorial noise on the other end of the phone as Wei Yuan beams up at Wei Ying proudly. “I got the best, most highest score!” Wei Yuan reveals. “All by myself!”

“The best, most highest score?” Wei Ying repeats, grinning down at Wei Yuan. “That’s extremely impressive!” He’s speaking into the phone before he can think better of it. “Lan Zhan, did you hear? A-Yuan got the best, most highest score on his game all by himself, he must be even better than me now!”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. “Congratulations, A-Yuan. You did well.” He says it so solemnly that Wei Ying can’t help laughing again.

“Lan Zhan, you’re so serious,” he says playfully, before addressing Wei Yuan again. “A-Yuan, Lan Zhan said you did well.”

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Yuan asks, peering up at Wei Ying curiously. “Who?”

Wei Ying is on the verge of offering the phone to Wei Yuan when he belatedly realizes that Wen Qing probably wouldn’t be too thrilled if he let the son he adopted from her family speak to a scam caller, no matter how sweet and pleasant to talk to said scam caller is. “He’s my, uh, my phone call buddy,” Wei Ying explains hastily.

Wei Yuan nods. “Thank you, Phone Call-gege!” he says with a toothy smile.

“You made him smile, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says, clutching his heart with the arm that isn’t keeping Wei Yuan in place on his lap. “How can you be so good? Even before meeting him, you already won him over.”

“I am glad I could make him happy,” Lan Zhan says in that unaffected voice of his. It makes Wei Ying want to do something to make him lose his composure.

“Do you want to make me happy too?” Wei Ying asks, and even though Wei Yuan is in the room, he lowers his voice enough for it to unmistakably be an attempt at flirting. “I can think of a few ways you could do that.”

Lan Zhan audibly inhales sharply, and Wei Ying mentally celebrates. “I...must go,” Lan Zhan says a second later, and Wei Ying’s mental celebration is halted in its tracks.

“Will you call tomorrow?” Wei Ying asks quickly, trying to stall him, trying to do anything he can to ensure he can talk to this strange, fascinating scam caller again. “After all, you didn’t manage to scam me yet.”

There’s a beat, before Lan Zhan speaks. “Mn,” he says, and Wei Ying can’t stop smiling. “I will call you tomorrow. Goodbye to you and A-Yuan.”

Like he did yesterday, Lan Zhan hangs up before Wei Ying has the chance to reply, but Wei Ying doesn’t care too much. He pulls Wei Yuan into a hug and sighs happily.

Wei Yuan looks at Wei Ying. “Baba is happy that Phone Call-gege will call him tomorrow?”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Wei Ying says, patting Wei Yuan’s back contentedly. “I am happy.”

~~~

Lan Zhan isn’t sure how things got to this point. He had called Wei Ying back the day after his prank call with the intention of explaining the truth – that he is not, in fact, a scam caller but simply a fourth-year music and literature student – but the conversation had gotten away from him and he missed his chance.

Now, a month later, having called Wei Ying every day since then, Lan Zhan wonders why, in all that time, he still hasn’t tried to correct Wei Ying’s perception of him. Maybe, he thinks, it has something to do with the fact that when he’s talking to Wei Ying, he’s helpless to do anything but go along with whatever conversation Wei Ying feels like having. He now knows that Wei Ying’s son, Wei Yuan, was adopted a year ago, and that Wei Ying lives with Wei Yuan’s grandmother and two cousins. He knows all about Wei Ying’s perfect sister – coincidentally, she turns out to be none other than Jiang Yanli – and his angry brother. And over the course of a month, Lan Zhan has somehow become Wei Ying’s scam caller, and the highlight of his day is always making that call.

Nie Huaisang and Jin Zixuan, traitors that they are, had decided that it would be a good idea to inform Lan Huan of Lan Zhan’s daily conversations with Wei Ying. Predictably, Lan Huan had been delighted to hear about Lan Zhan’s first real display of interest in another person, which is why Lan Zhan is currently in a coffee shop, listening to Lan Huan try to convince him for at least the tenth time to arrange a meeting in person with Wei Ying.

“Didi, you clearly like this Wei Ying quite a lot,” Lan Huan says reasonably. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to try meeting him in person. Imagine if I hadn’t gone to meet A-Yao when Mingjue-ge mentioned him for the first time.”

Lan Zhan graciously does not point out that, had Lan Huan not met Jin Guangyao, Lan Zhan would not have to wake up at odd hours to strange noises coming from the other bedroom in their shared apartment. “He has an obligation to his son,” he says instead, just like he always does every time they have this conversation. “I do not wish to pull him away from that duty by imposing my feelings.”

“You know Huaisang is friends with him,” Lan Huan points out. “Surely he would have told you by now if Wei Ying is not interested in pursuing any relationships.”

There’s nothing “sure” about anything when it comes to Nie Huaisang, Lan Zhan thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud, not wanting to be rude to his brother who, ultimately, is only pushing the matter because he has Lan Zhan’s best interests at heart. “Regardless,” Lan Zhan says, “it is unnecessary to meet Wei Ying in person.”

The barista calls out their order, and Lan Zhan gets up to retrieve their drinks before Lan Huan can say anything else. As he’s making his way back to the table, though, drinks in hand, he’s stopped in his tracks by the appearance of a small weight clinging tightly to his leg. “Gege!” says the weight. It is, Lan Zhan finds when he looks down, a small boy, no older than three or four.

“Hello,” Lan Zhan says, trying not to let his panic show. As a rule, he tries to avoid interacting with children he doesn't know when their guardians aren’t present. “Where is your caretaker?”

“Baba is sitting over there with Auntie Qing and Angry Uncle!” the boy says, pointing to a table in the far corner of the shop.

Lan Zhan looks in the direction the boy is pointing and blinks a few times. Sitting at the table are two men Lan Zhan recognizes from Nie Huaisang's alternate friend group, the one he spends time with outside of Lan-Jin-Nie gatherings, and an unfamiliar woman who bears a slight resemblance to the boy still holding Lan Zhan's leg. “You must go back to your Baba,” Lan Zhan says carefully. “He will wonder where you went, otherwise.”

“But,” the boy says, a pout forming on his face, “Baba said that you were a very pretty gege and he wished he could talk to you.”

Lan Zhan wonders what kind of parent lets their child go off to talk to random strangers they find attractive. The last thing Lan Zhan wants is for this boy to start crying, though, so he nods. “I will accompany you back to your table. You should not worry your Baba by leaving him to talk to unknown people.”

The boy’s unhappy expression vanishes instantaneously, replaced by a bright smile. “Okay, Pretty-gege!” he agrees. “Come meet my Baba!”

Lan Zhan belatedly realizes he’s still holding the two cups of tea, but it’s too late to do anything about it, because he and the boy have already reached their destination.

“Baba!” the boy exclaims happily, climbing into the lap of the man who, presumably, is his father.

“A-Yuan!” the man says, sounding equally excited, and Lan Zhan freezes, both at the voice and the name. “Where did you run off to, huh, kiddo?”

“I found Pretty-gege for Baba,” A-Yuan says seriously, and his father looks at Lan Zhan for the first time. “Now Baba can talk to him.” Then, apparently deciding that his work is finished, A-Yuan promptly unlocks his father’s phone and starts playing a game.

Lan Zhan is still unable to move as he stares into the man’s sparkling grey eyes. “Wei Ying,” he says, because it feels like the only thing he can say.

The man – Wei Ying, Lan Zhan is certain it has to be him – gapes at him, his eyes widening in shock and what can only be recognition. “Lan Zhan?” Somehow, the sound of his own name rolling off Wei Ying’s tongue is even more appealing to Lan Zhan in person than it is over the phone. “You’re Huaisang’s gorgeous friend that I’ve been begging him to introduce me to for literally years? Huaisang is friends with a scam caller?”

The man sitting next to Wei Ying slams his hand against the table. “This is your stupid scam caller boyfriend?” he demands. “You haven’t shut up about wanting to meet him for weeks, and he was easily accessible in person this entire time?”

“A-Cheng,” the woman at the table reprimands, rolling her eyes as she lays a hand on the man’s arm. She shoots a pointed look at Wei Ying as she continues, “Relax. We already knew Wei Ying is an idiot.”

“He is not,” Lan Zhan says reflexively, somewhat irritated that these people are insulting Wei Ying for no discernible reason. “Wei Ying is very intelligent.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, it’s okay,” Wei Ying says with a laugh, though his cheeks have turned a soft shade of pink. “Jiang Cheng and Qing-jie are just like that. I always say they’re the grumpiest couple in the world. It’s like they really were made for each other!”

“Shut the hell up,” Jiang Cheng says, making an aborted movement towards Wei Ying before apparently remembering the child in Wei Ying’s lap and settling for clenching his hand in a fist instead.

“Language,” Wei Ying says with a sunny smile. “A-Yuan is a growing little boy who doesn’t need to hear words like that.” He turns to Lan Zhan and his smile somehow grows even bigger. Lan Zhan is torn between looking away to avoid being blinded by its intensity and being absolutely transfixed by how lovely it looks on Wei Ying’s face. “But enough of that. Lan Zhan, I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you, and it turns out you’re actually the same person I wanted to get to know anyway!”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. “I recognized you as well, from Nie Huaisang’s friend group.”

Wei Ying looks momentarily annoyed. “I’ve been asking him to introduce you to me for so long.” The displeasure seems to pass a moment later, when Wei Ying beams up at Lan Zhan again, and Lan Zhan has to remember how to breathe. “Of course, I should have guessed that Lan Zhan would find a way to introduce himself to me first!”

“Wei Ying was the first to introduce himself,” Lan Zhan reminds him, recalling their second phone call.

“You have such a good memory, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says with an almost dreamy sigh, his eyes shining. “I bet you remember all our phone calls.”

“He’s a scam caller,” the woman Wei Ying had addressed as Qing-jie – which means she must be Wen Qing, one of Wei Yuan’s cousins – interrupts. “It’s unlikely that he remembers everyone he calls, let alone what he says when he calls them.” She narrows her eyes at Lan Zhan. “So why, exactly, have you continued to call our home?”

“I am not a scam caller,” Lan Zhan says firmly, relieved to be telling the truth at last. “I am a student of music and literature.”

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, shaking his head. “What do you mean you’re not a scam caller? The first time you called the house, you were trying to scam Granny.”

“I was not,” Lan Zhan says. “I was dared to make a prank call, and you made assumptions.”

Everyone is silent for a moment, and the only sounds come from the background chatter in the cafe. Lan Zhan is reminded of his brother, who’s still waiting for his tea, and sends a silent apology to him in his mind. “A...prank call?” Wei Ying finally asks. “So you were never really trying to steal our sensitive information?”

Lan Zhan nods. “Mn. Nie Huaisang provided the dare and the number.”

“Of course it was him,” Wei Ying mutters, seemingly to himself. “When I get my hands on him...” He trails off, before a new thought appears to strike him. “But Lan Zhan, that means he did kind of introduce us to each other after all! If it weren’t for him, then who knows if we ever would have met each other?” He pauses, his head cocked to the side. “You know, I always thought you didn’t try very hard to scam me. I thought maybe it was because we were so close, but now it all makes sense!”

“We are close,” Lan Zhan feels the need to clarify. “If I were truly a scam caller, I would not have tried to scam you after speaking with you as we have been.”

Wei Ying’s entire face flushes as Jiang Cheng snorts and Wen Qing looks simultaneously exasperated and amused. “Lan Zhan! How can you say something like that so easily?”

“Lying is forbidden,” Lan Zhan says matter-of-factly, which doesn’t quite answer the question, but reveals enough of his reasoning to have Wei Ying burying his face in his hands with a moan.

The noise must distract Wei Yuan from his game, because he looks up at Wei Ying and asks, “Baba, okay?”

“Yeah, kiddo, I’m okay,” Wei Ying says, smiling reassuringly at the boy. “Lan-gege here was just saying some very sweet things.” It’s Lan Zhan’s turn to get flustered by the sudden nickname, his ears heating up as Wei Ying grins innocently at him.

“Pretty-gege is Phone Call-gege?” Wei Yuan asks, and Lan Zhan is mildly impressed that such a young child was able to piece together a conversation he was only half listening to. He nods, and Wei Yuan claps his hands happily. “Good! Baba likes Phone Call-gege and Pretty-gege and it would be hard to pick but now those geges are the same!” He looks at Lan Zhan intently. “Gege will stay with us?”

“A-Yuan,” Wei Ying says hurriedly, “you shouldn’t – ahaha, Lan Zhan, don’t take him too seriously, I’ll explain to him later –”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan cuts him off pointedly. “A-Yuan. I must return to my brother for now.” Both father and son look visibly deflated, so Lan Zhan takes a deep breath and continues. “But I would like to see you again.”

“O-oh,” Wei Ying says, looking both hopeful and more stunned than he really should. Really, how could he possibly think that Lan Zhan wouldn’t want to see him again? “Well, of course you can see us again! Just give us a call any time, you already have our number, after all.”

“I would like your cell phone number,” Lan Zhan says before he can chicken out. “For convenience.”

“Yes, of course!” We Ying squeaks. Lan Zhan can relate – he had no idea he had it in him to be so bold. Wei Ying holds out his phone with the “New Contact” screen open, and Lan Zhan saves his name as “My Scam Caller” before sending a text to himself. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says breathlessly when he takes his phone back and sees the contact name. He stares at Lan Zhan with starry eyes. “You’re so funny. I like you so much.”

“I like you so much too,” Lan Zhan says automatically, and the corners of his mouth pull upward into a soft smile. Wei Ying gasps and smiles so radiantly that Lan Zhan doesn’t even care that they aren’t alone, that at least four sets of eyes are fixed on them right now – he’s under no illusion that his brother hasn’t been watching him this whole time.

They reluctantly say goodbye after Lan Zhan promises that he’ll meet Wei Ying and Wei Yuan tomorrow after his classes end. Lan Zhan feels light as he returns to his brother’s table, the tea in his hands completely cold by now.

Lan Huan smiles knowingly at him as he sits down. “So,” he says, “you were saying that meeting Wei Ying in person was unnecessary?”

Lan Zhan takes a sip of cold tea to avoid speaking, but he doesn’t need to – he knows that to his brother, his happiness level is at the point where he might as well be fully grinning. But he’s allowed to be this elated, he thinks. He’s allowed to not care about Nie Huaisang’s meddling or Lan Huan’s amused expression or Jiang Cheng’s attitude.

After all, he has Wei Ying’s number in his phone, a date planned for tomorrow, and a whole future together, just waiting for him to reach out and take it.

[ir-egipto-travel]

History

For 300 years the Abu Stait Mosque has been Basuna’s main mosque. It was built and rebuilt a couple of times. The latest building was completed 70 years ago, on the very same plot in the center of the village, adjacent to the village’s graveyard serving as the main Friday Mosque and the only funerary mosque in the entire village. A flash-flood and a soil subsidence caused by the construction of a neighboring building, inflicted considerable structural damage rendering the mosque unsafe, and so it had to be demolished.

Urban and Architectural

Project Concept The main concept is the mosque as the “House of God”. A physical space, a House for the One who is beyond space and time, which are nothing but His own creatures. “No human vision can encompass Him, whereas He encompasses all human vision: for He alone is unfathomable, all-aware.” [Qur’an 6:103] “[…] there is nothing like unto Him, and He alone is all-hearing, all-seeing” [Qur’an 42:11] This design is intended to look into the architectural expression of the connection between the physical and the metaphysical, the created and the Creator. The House of God houses His will, which is known to us through His books. The Revealed ‘Written’ Book Kitab Allah al-Massttur (Qur’an and Hadith) and the Created ‘Sensed’ Book, Kitab Allah alMandhur, the Cosmos. The Revealed book shows us His will through a prescribed world view and prescribed worship, while the Cosmos shows us His will through natural order and scientific laws which govern physical existence. His will is that we journey back to Him. The journey must have an Orientation. A Qibla, the point of origin and return, the archetypical House of God, which could be understood by creatures only through the Attributes of Divine Perfection, more famously known as the 99 names of God; The House of houses, represented in this project as the “Cube of Cubes”* which is the prayer niche or Mihrab. Contemplating, understanding and devoting ourselves to the ethical implications and spiritual values of the Attributes -within human capacity- is our earthly journey or Israa, which leads us to our Ascension or Miraaj in endless cycles until our earthly life is over and we carry on in another eternal form of life. These cycles of combined horizontal/earthly/physical/bodily interaction with the Vertical/Heavenly/metaphysical/spiritual creates an upward spiralling force, represented in the apparent Hajj-like counter-clock circumambulation of all four columns bearing the main dome, which is formed by 64 circumambulating blocks in each of the 35 vertical courses. The blocks represent worshippers in their attempt to escape their earthly material being, which shrinks in dimension as they leap up from one orbit to the higher orbit, until the last course of blocks vanishes and becomes one with the heavenly dome. The same force gives the minaret its form, which is also topped by the Cube of Cubes confirming the motivation and orientation. The pendentive-domes take their form and orientation from abiding by God’s will in His Cosmos; respecting the wind behaviour and the principles of solar movement to allow for the God-given breeze and light to shower the interior of the mosque while keeping away glare and heat. A prayer of nature. The first thing the worshippers encounter as they turn from the main entrance into the main prayer hall is a single vertical window overlooking the cemetery, which reminds them of the end of their journey before they turn right to the Qibla to begin their prayers; “Stand upright and pray as if it is your final prayer”.

Description

The Old Mosque:

• Prayer Hall (Men only) = 165.31 sqm , with no room for women at all.

• Structurally unsafe; structural walls cracked and mud roof severely damaged by a surprise flash-flood.

• No minaret, and not a single minaret in the entire village.

• Main Entrance to the mosque goes through the bathrooms and the Qibla axis directed towards the toilets.

The New Mosque:

The new design attempts to increase the capacity of the mosque in terms of the numbers of the worshippers, as well as in the quality of spaces and services.

A main goal was to also bring forth an element of inclusivity, by introducing praying spaces and services for female worshippers, for the first time in the entire village.

Project Statement

The location of the Al Abu Stait Mosque in the hot and arid village of Basuna, in the governorate of Suhaj, Upper Egypt, over a site amidst a noisy, dusty and densely constructed area with encroaching residential buildings, a cemetery, cattle frequently moving back and forth on the road and a weekly makeshift small market right outside the main entrance of this place of worship posed a major challenge. The new building must offer peace and tranquillity for its users and so a few requirements had to be met:

a) Climate control

b) Noise control

c) Dust and undesired odors (caused by farming animals passing in the street)

d) Urban context and aesthetics

e) Budget

f) Access during construction

Approaching every challenge separately made it impossible to arrive at a satisfactory solution. For example, if operable windows were used on the exterior to allow for cross-ventilation that would have meant a poor performance on the fronts of noise, dust and odor control. The decision was to limit openings, at or close to street level, to just the main entrance, while tackling all these challenges at the roof’s higher altitude.

Budget constraints and limited or no machine-accessibility meant that any solution had to depend mainly on manpower and simple tools.

The solution was a hybrid roof system; consisting of a concrete beam gridiron, cast in situ, forming a central square (6.0x6.0m) covered with a main dome, and 108 smaller squares (0.82 x 0.82m) partially covered using pendentive-domes, complemented with fixed and operable glass panels allowing natural filtered light and ventilation for low-cost enhanced thermal comfort.

The main dome was constructed using an Egyptian-made light block made of sand, lime and air, with a density of 0.5 ton/m3, thermal conductivity 0.136-0.132 W/m2.°K, fire rating (relative to thickness) 4-7 hours, sound insulation (dB) 37-48. The remarkable lightness of the block decreased the building’s own-weight, in turn decreasing the required dimensions of all reinforced concrete elements. Its dimensions (100x200x600 mm) were perfect for introducing an original aesthetic, serving the conceptual scheme of the mosque, through employing a special cutting list and a simple staggered tessellation. I had to devise a special steel compass to guarantee the meticulous spatial positioning of every single block regardless of a mason’s skills and accuracy.

Pendentive-domes are a known traditional element, hardly used as an independent element. Their main use is recognised within dome systems, facilitating the transition from square to octagonal plans to finally receive the circular plan of a dome.

In the Basuna Mosque, this element was reimagined as an independent unit, with innovated functions; structurally as a roof system, environmentally as a wind-catcher and skylight, and aesthetically as an independent geometrical object, appreciated both from the interior and the exterior -only from the higher buildings overlooking the mosque-.

The entrance dome is a stacked dome , referencing the historical dome of the Cordoba Grand Mosque, with minor modifications. It serves as a reminder of the rich potential of historical architecture in both the architectural discourse and construction innovations.

This project presents a hybrid roof system utilizing brick and block masonry, aiming to introduce innovative, energy efficient, economic, sustainable and aesthetically creative solutions. It is an attempt towards a new resilient and meaningful architectural paradigm, which seeks to learn from the past in order to create relevant innovations for the future.

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