#this one made me and ev cry on more than one occasion

[merakiui]

タコの花嫁。

yandere!azul ashengrotto x (female) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, non-con, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, arranged marriage, oviposition, breeding, royalty au note - in an effort to bring peace to two warring sides, you are engaged to the sea queen’s son.

If anyone is to blame for the abysmal diplomacy between the Land and the Sea, it would be your ancestors. Pompous and foolhardy, they thought they could rule the grand seas stretching out from the harbor, beyond weather-worn docks with their rotted, seaweed-strewn planks and briny fetor. The ocean was vast, unexplored territory—a dangerous, deceptive beauty harboring life far beneath unruly waves.

And your ancestors intended to claim it.

Sailors would recount tales of fishfolk—uncanny creatures who looked more marine than the two-legged mammals of the land. They’d raise mugs, each overflowing with ale, in drunken merriment, terrifying themselves with the mysteries of the deep, dark sea.

“It ought to give ya a proper scare straight to Davy Jones himself!” they’d say, voices lowered conspiratorially. “Soon as yer candle goes out and all ya’ve got’s the moon to guide ya… You’ll hear ’em slip through the water if yer listenin’ well enough.”

“You ever go and spy one up close?”

“I’d sooner see the Devil himself and let him keelhaul me before facin’ those cursed beasts!”

“The cut of their jib ain’t so pretty. Enough to give men like us a fright and we’ve seen all sorts of somethin’.”

“Monsters, I say! Monsters!”

Festivals were held to keep these beasts at bay—to prevent them from gathering the courage to creep up onto the land. Every year, during the summer solstice, pits were hollowed on the shore and bordered with stones. Flames licked towards the sky, red-orange fingers clawing for purchase amidst the stars above. Townsfolk would sing and dance late into the eve, bellowing songs passed through the generations. Children would skip up and down the beach, torches in hand, and cry out an old chant: “Fish for you and me are meant to stay in the sea! Should you see one on land, may the Heavens strike it down with a gentle, loving hand!”

Their excitement did well to ward off the fishfolk. Sometimes the lone child would spot one in the distance, peeking out from between the rocks before diving back under in a splash.

On land, humans were safe. On land, the fishfolk couldn’t catch them.

It was different in the sea.

Ships were destroyed in terrible tempests. The waves tossed them around as if they were nothing. Many sailors would find their demise at the bottom of the ocean, torn to shreds with shattered skeletons. Viscerally brutalized, they died with secrets on their tongues—secrets of the strange fishfolk who’d drag them down, down, down to a watery grave.

On one cold February afternoon, the octopus prince was brought into the world. In shadowed fathoms, a grand celebration was held. After so much time—misfortune after misfortune—one fry survived out of the entire clutch. He was round and soft and small, colored blue from exertion and fighting through the tug of the current to reach home. The Sea Queen met him halfway and embraced him, ecstatic tears in her eyes, for a mother’s love is stronger than any political power.

“My little Azul,” she said, stroking a hand along his cheek, “how precious you are.”

No ships were sunk; no lives were lost. It was a peaceful day for both the Land and the Sea. And it would continue to be so in the future. Every year on that same February, it was made a day of peace to honor the little prince.

A day of life, not death.

It was on that same February eleven years later when you were tossed into the frigid depths like a hatchling cast out of its nest. Similarly, your birth had been a wondrous occasion. Your parents brought five boys into the world, each just as adored as the last, but they had been hoping for a daughter. It was a miracle when their fervent wishes were finally granted. You were spoiled as all daughters often are, pampered and doted on by your family and the palace staff.

Your brothers, though protective and caring, were a troublesome and rowdy bunch. Kyffin was the eldest. Two years younger was Emyr, and another two years behind him was Owin. A year younger than him were twins Morcan and Martyn. They picked on you as all immature boys often do when caught up in sibling rivalries, aiming to be the only one their parents see. To prove themselves as the best, the strongest, the wisest.

So it was with a half-cruel heart that Emyr tossed you into the waves from where he stood in the rowboat.

“Only way to learn is with exposure!” he called down to you, watching as you struggled against the push and pull of the sea. 

“C-Can’t!” you shouted back, choking on salt and flailing about. “E-Emyr, I can’t—can’t swim!”

“Don’t be silly,” Owin added with a sweet smile. “It’s how we learned. That old sod threw us right in. You’re lucky it’s us and not him. He was awfully mean with it, wasn’t he?”

“Terribly so.” Emyr watched your struggling a moment longer and clicked his tongue. He held the oar out just before you could slip under, and you clung to it with shaky hands. “Come on—let’s get you up here. You’re not gonna get it today.”

“Fin got it on his first try.”

“Fin gets everything on his first bloody try.”

Relieved, your heart pounding like a drum, you peered up at your brothers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get it…”

“Nothing to apologize for. You’ll get it one day.”

“We’ll keep trying until then. And once you do, we’ll throw you a big party.”

“Really? Will you really do that?” Your expression brightened, but your brothers’ faces darkened. They saw the shadow before you did. Saw the webbed hands reaching out, the serrated teeth glinting in a sinister smile.

And then—

Owin leaned over, his arm outstretched. So fluid was his motion that it took you by surprise. “(Name), grab on! Hurry! Before—”

The rest of his warning was muffled by the water. You hardly had any time to brace yourself when you were yanked under, your nails raking across the wood of the oar as you went with the force of the pull. Salt stung your eyes when you cracked them open, peering frantically at blurry surroundings. Teal-green specks slid silently through the shadows, mismatched eyes flicking over your form. And then there was a high, raucous sort of chittering. Like a dolphin’s cry, loud and piercing. You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your palms against your ears.

It only lasted a few mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity trapped in the coils of a creature you couldn’t comprehend. One moment you were holding your breath and the next arms were hooked around your torso, and you were pulled up and into the belly of the rowboat. Your hands flew to your throat, and you coughed up seawater while Owin patted you.

“It’s fine. It’s…okay,” Emyr muttered, his voice shot through with fear. It was the most shaken he’d ever sounded.

Blood fogged in the water, staining the tip of his harpoon. He gazed down at his hand. A deep, jagged gash ran angrily from palm to wrist. He hissed and closed his fingers in a tight fist.

“We gotta get back,” Owin was saying, still rubbing soothing circles into your back. “I’ll row. You rest.”

“Not good,” Emyr said instead, shaking his head in dismay as he watched your attackers retreat.

“We’re still in our waters, right? We didn’t go past the boundary, did we?”

“Let’s hope not.”

“We didn’t, right?”

“Let’s hope—” Emyr paused, collecting his words. “Let’s hope those monsters were in the wrong.”

“Father’s gonna kill us.”

“If not us, the monsters.”

Both brothers looked towards you. Your tunic was torn, stained through with saltwater and blood. You shivered all the way to shore.

Following that mishap, an official meeting was called between the Land and the Sea. The King—your father—met the Sea Queen at the border. He stood proud on his ship, peering down at her with fire in his old eyes.

“Your Majesty.”

The Sea Queen was just as formidable as those who came before her. Her tentacles unfurled as one, and if you looked at them long enough they almost seemed to take on the shape of an obsidian-colored crinoline.

“I believe my mother and your father made the terms quite clear all those years ago,” she said, a wave lifting her to meet the King at the deck of his ship. “So then, with that in mind, there should be no reason for us to meet under these circumstances.”

Emyr and Owin stood just behind their father. You peered through their legs at the Sea Queen, silently amazed. You’d never seen anyone quite like her before. At least, not a real person. You’d seen her in storybooks, depicted as a fearsome beast with devilish features, and though there was something intimidating about her gaze and build she appeared understanding enough. Her grey skin was sleek in the morning sun, her long, silvery strands tied up and pinned with an ornate hair ornament. She looked beautiful in a magical, enigmatic way.

“I couldn’t agree more,” came the clipped response of your father. “Alas, misfortune has brought us here.” He stepped aside to allow her to behold Emyr’s bandaged hand. “Harm has befallen my son and daughter. I suppose you might have an inkling as to why they find themselves in their current state?”

She frowned, but you couldn’t tell if it was out of sympathy or some other emotion. “Perhaps one of them can give reason to the wound now marring one of my subject’s sons.”

Your father glanced overboard at the snake-like merman cradled in the arms of another merman. They looked near-identical, their features unmistakable. He glanced back at Emyr, his gaze hard. “Go on then. Explain yourself.”

Emyr stepped forward. “With wholehearted respect, Your Majesty, it was out of self-defense. Your kind—they attacked us first.”

“You were in our waters!” one of the mers exclaimed, pointing a clawed finger towards Emyr. “It’s all your fault Jade got hurt!”

Owin hurried ahead, his hands gripping the taffrail. “He’s playing it up! It was a graze!”

“He could’ve died! You almost killed him!”

“That is enough,” the Sea Queen said, jutting an arm out to silence both sides. “I understand everyone is hurt here. Our feud lies in misunderstanding.” She gazed at you next. “Little one, we have yet to hear your story. Do share.”

You glanced at the guards, at Owin and Emyr, and then at father. He nodded encouragingly. “U-Um!” Shyly, you approached the Sea Queen. “My brothers were teaching me how to swim. I don’t know anything about whose water is whose. I just wanted to learn how to swim.” You met the fierce scowl of the mer holding his twin brother and quickly looked elsewhere. “He grabbed me before my brothers could pull me up.”

“Because you were trespassing. Anyone who tresspasses ought to—”

“Floyd.”

At the not-so-subtle warning in his father’s voice, he shut his mouth and snarled. His brother—Jade—was handed off to their father, who assessed his state with a frown.

“He will live, but it will take time for him to recover. My son is right. Your son could have killed him.”

“Just as your sons could have killed my sister!” Owin shouted, glaring.

Floyd stuck his tongue out, remorseless.

“It is impossible to know which side is in the wrong,” your father began, turning towards the Sea Queen. “Seeing as both have been injured, I am willing to apologize on behalf of my sons.”

“What?!” Owin’s head turned towards his father. “You’re bloody mad! Have you not seen—”

“Father,” Emyr interjected evenly. “We have nothing to apologize for. We were within our waters. We had no ill will towards the others. It was completely innocent.”

The Sea Queen hummed her contemplation. “The boundary was drawn for a reason, decided upon by those who came before us, and yet it does more harm than good. It is not for safety’s sake. It is to keep us divided—to ensure that neither side will ever know peace.”

“And you’re implying that we get rid of it?”

She nodded, quite serious. Everyone looked on in equal parts shock and disbelief. “Why do we continue to fight? It does nothing but open old wounds, rendering them incurable. Innocent lives are lost in petty squabbling. And for what?”

To that, no one could offer a smart reply.

“Therefore I propose peace. A union to welcome a new era—one in which we embrace one another as allies without animosity.”

“A union?” Your father raised a brow, suspicious but willing to listen. “I suppose it would be beneficial. My people would be free to travel the seas at their leisure.” “And mine would no longer have to live in fear of being thoughtlessly slaughtered and taken as trophies.”

“Unbelievable,” Orwin muttered.

Emyr elbowed him. “Knock it off.”

“We’ll collaborate on a contract. One that dissolves the invisible boundary that has been the cause for so much suffering. In order to attain true peace, I shall offer you my only son.” She glanced at you and then back at your father. “Your daughter shall marry him when they are of age.”

“What?! No way! Ew! Gross!” Your voice came out shrill and you shook your head in protest. “I don’t wanna marry an octopus! No, I won’t do it!”

Your father stood in front of you. “She’s my only daughter. If something were to happen—”

“Which is precisely why I bring up this engagement. Should they be betrothed, we as their parents will promise to uphold peace to give them bright futures and they will act as the first example of a human-mer alliance. Unions between humans and merfolk are unheard of, but is this not the best way to foster harmony between the Land and Sea?”

“I won’t do it! No! Don’t make me marry a gross—” Emyr gathered you in his arms, holding his uninjured hand over your mouth.

“Let the grown-ups talk.”

Owin frowned. “I still don’t agree with this…”

Your father mulled it over, his eyes glazed in thought. “Very well. We will create a contract—an official peace treaty.”

Both leaders shook hands and planned to convene at the end of the week to discuss further.

You watched the mers depart, each one slipping under the sea. Floyd was the last to go, staring at you with a mean sort of vitriol. And then he, too, dove under.

“He didn’t mean it, right?” you whispered to Emyr after your father gave the order to turn the ship around and head for land. “I won’t have to marry an octopus, right?”

Emyr could only offer a commiserate frown.

“She’s a brat,” Floyd spits. “Stupid, evil Two Legs.”

Jade chuckles and runs his fingers over the scar. “I consider it an honor.”

“Yeah, well, I think it’s messed up. She’s the reason you can’t ever swim naturally again. While she’s up there in her pretty, little tower, safe and sound, you’re still hurting.”

“It’s not as much of a hindrance as you may think. I’m not weak, mind you.”

Floyd grumbles. “Still. She’s mean.”

Azul gazes up at the palace, sighing dreamily. “She’ll be my wife someday. That’s what humans call it, yes? Husband and wife… What wonderful words.”

It’s been one year since the peace treaty. Since then, humans and merfolk have made an effort to get along. This is the second time Azul will be meeting with you. He’s nervous. The first time you went out to sea to greet him, and he’d gotten so anxious that he inked right then and there. His mother entertained you from where you sat in the boat with your personal guard. It was a mortifying experience—one that had taken him months to recover from.

Now he’s going to try to meet you in the shallows. Try is the key word here. He’s scared, all three hearts beating as one. Is it too late to reschedule?

“I can’t believe you’re actually okay with this. You that lonely?”

Azul turns to scowl at both twins, but it’s mostly directed at Floyd. “I never asked you to tag along. Leave me alone.”

Jade smiles. “And let the Queen’s little prince swim to his death?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Sure you can. But what about when Two Legs gets ya? What then?”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “You saw what her brothers did to Jade.”

“Because you tried to kill her.”

“Because she was in our territory!”

Azul huffs and pushes him away with a tentacle. “Regardless, we’re supposed to be on good terms now. You’ll break the contract if you try anything dangerous.”

“He’s right, Floyd.”

“Ugh. Whatever.” Floyd turns away, stubborn. “This is lame. I’m not stickin’ around.”

Jade lingers long enough to observe the way Azul lights up when he spots you on the stone steps. And then he disappears beneath the water.

Barefoot, holding your dress up and out of the way, you pad across the beach.

“Why are you here? I’m busy. My brothers are taking me into town.”

The smile that had been fighting to break out on his face frosts over. “Oh. I… Um…” Azul fumbles with the conch shell he’d collected on the way here. A gift for you. He made sure to study human speech patterns in the months leading up to this meeting. He’s fully prepared! And yet you look so displeased. “F-For you! I found it…”

You stare at the shell clutched in a dark tentacle. Tentatively, you reach for it. “Why?”

“Ah. W-Well, my mother says gifts are an important part of any bond. In the sea, we give gifts to the ones we care about. To friends and family and o-other halves…”

You turn the shell over in your hands. “We’re not friends.”

“Not yet,” he tries, but you shake your head.

“You ran away from me the last time we met. That’s not very friendly.”

His face flushes blue and he opens his mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. It wasn’t on purpose.

You’re already turning on your heel. “I don’t have time for this.” You toss the shell over your shoulder. Azul watches it land in the sand, just out of his grasp.

“W-Wait! I… I want to talk to you. Please don’t go. You’re going to be my other half one day, so I’d like to—”

But you’re already dashing across the beach to get to the stairs.

Azul deflates against the rock. Tears overflow in floods. Is it because of him? Is he to blame? Why don’t you want to be his friend? Is it because of the peace treaty? Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Azul doesn’t want to think negatively of you. Humans are sensitive creatures. He reads up on them in the palace library, poring over literature and textbooks in an effort to better understand you. But as the months pass and you seem to simply tolerate him for the sake of the alliance, he begins to suspect something.

It’s made apparent the next time he sees you, where you walk right past the beach to catch up with your brothers. He hides behind the rocks, two blue eyes following your figure until you’re out of sight.

Floyd was right. You are a brat.

And yet he can’t hate you.

On the eve of your eighteenth birthday, Azul meets you in the shallows.

Nowadays you send letters, preferring strained long distance over the personal intimacy of face-to-face relations. These exchanges are purely diplomatic. But now that he’s asked to meet with you, a rare occurrence, you’ve deigned to greet him in person. It’s the least you can do after he’s gone through the trouble to travel here. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him that he’s almost unrecognizable. You remember the round, baby-faced octo-mer from your childhood. The one who lounges against the rocks is leaner now—his features defined, jawline as sharp as his eyes. They cut through the gloom to find you.

“You wished to see me?” You’re in your nightwear, a silky gown with an even softer robe. A cool breeze blows across the beach, and you wrap your arms around yourself for extra warmth. “Azul?”

He hesitates, his gaze trailing up your legs. You’ve also changed a lot in the time you’ve been apart. You’ve grown taller, filling out in places he didn’t know humans could fill. What he’d give to hold you… His mother says he needs to be patient. Fickle thing that you are, you’re the reason he’s spent six years trying to appease you through letters—to win you over and be anything more than that “annoying octopus” you’re doomed to marry. Perhaps it would have been easier to act just as you do if it weren’t for the fact that he’d been elated at the premise of having someone to love. When his mother broached the idea in the days following her meeting with the Land King, he’d stared at her with wide, excited eyes.

“There’s a human girl who wants to be my friend?” he asked, to which his mother smiled and nodded.

More than a friend, actually, but then all he was focused on was finally getting to experience the one thing he’d never known or had: friendship.

Sighing, he foregoes formality and holds out a necklace. It dangles from the tip of his tentacle. Strung on a dainty, silver strand, pearls wink back at you under the moonlight. Azul averts his eyes, his cheeks a pleasant periwinkle.

“Happy birthday…”

“Oh.” You move in closer, taking the necklace from him. His tentacle pursues you, twining delicately around your wrist. “Um… What is it? Do you need—whoa!”

Azul tugs you closer. The sea laps at your ankles. Beneath a tapestry of stars, you meet his azure stare. His features are set with a determination you’ve never seen before.

“I want to start over.”

“Start over?”

“I’d like to be on friendly terms with you. We’re so cold. Distant…” Azul frowns, seeming unsure of what to say or do next. The tentacle laced around your wrist like a bracelet tightens its hold. “We’re to be wed one day. I want to make this work.”

You blink at him. He thinks he may have gotten through to you, having finally broken through layers of stone and ice, but then your nose scrunches and odium shimmers in your gaze.

“That’s impossible. I’m a human. How am I supposed to live with an octopus?” You shake him off with a huff. “I’m not sure what our parents think this will accomplish. I don’t want to be a pawn to be moved around for the sake of peace. I’m my own person.”

Azul’s expression sours. His lip curls up into a sneer. “Well, I don’t find it very enjoyable either. You’re not the only victim in this scenario.”

You exhale an exhausted breath. “Azul, I appreciate the gift, but it doesn’t mean anything if you’re only giving it to me to curry favor.”

I wasn’t, he thinks, but he doesn’t say that. Admitting it would be a weakness. Admitting it would mean coming to terms with an unrequited opinion.

“At least one of us is making a conscious effort.”

“At least one of us isn’t trying so hard. It’s pathetic.”

“You’re not obligated to accept my goodwill.” He smiles, smug. “Yet you do every time. I’d wager you enjoy my materialistic affections.”

“As if.” Despite this, you hold the necklace out of his reach when a tentacle flexes towards it. “It’s mine now.”

“So you are fond of my ‘pathetic’ ways!”

“I’m not!”

You jerk away with a vicious scowl, but your foot catches in the sand and you quickly find yourself tipping backwards. If not for the tentacles that coil around your waist to steady you, you would have fallen on your rear. Your chest heaves with adrenaline. Stunned, you stare at Azul.

“You…caught me,” you breathe, lips parted in awe.

“Did you think I’d let you fall?” He cocks his head at you, grinning playfully. “Why, I’d never! Unless it’s me you’re falling for, in which case I gladly welcome the—”

“You’re such a pest.” Untangling yourself from his grasp, which he allows without scrimmage, you step away from the water’s edge. He watches you secure the pearls around your neck, and his hearts stumble in his chest when you point an accusatory finger at him. “Don’t delude yourself with foolish nonsense. I have no interest in you.”

With an indignant harrumph, you start towards the palace.

“May we meet here tomorrow?” Azul calls out after you, testing his luck with what little chance he has.

“Don’t push it.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“Good. Keep waiting, dummy!” You break into a sprint, hurrying off into the shadows.

Azul smiles at the empty beach. Whether or not you like him, it doesn’t matter. You’re to be his one day. You’ve always been, ever since he was eleven.

He’ll wait, even if you won’t show.

Ostensibly, twenty-one years wise, you’re getting married today.

Your gown is just as exquisite as your hair and makeup. Pearls cling to your throat and arms—classic wedding attire for merfolk. A thin veil shields the scheme in your stare.

This was an inevitability, but you’re determined to fight it until the end. No matter how quickly time seems to pass, you’ll do everything you can to stall and slow it.

Gripping a sharpened dagger in a resolute fist, you drag it through the long, sprawling train of your gown.

“As if I’d marry an octopus,” you grumble, cutting fine fabric until you’re permitted smoother movement. Gazing at yourself in the mirror, you scowl. “I’m no one’s bride.”

By the time the maids arrive to check on you, you’ve already stolen out the window.

The rowboat sways on choppy water. You’ve watched your brothers do this enough times to have the technique engraved in your memory. Your arms strain with the oars, every muscle screaming in protest, but you fight through the pain. The palace looks smaller and smaller with every passing minute. Eventually, you’re so far out that the land is but a mere speck.

It’s going well. You’re escaping towards a better future—a future without the octopus prince.

You glance towards the horizon. Your boat undulates with the waves.

You’ll miss your brothers, your maids, your personal guard…

Water slops over the edge. You yelp, startled. Have the seas always been so rough?

Despite everything, you’ll miss your father.

Just as you think this, your boat rocks to the side. You grab onto the edge to steady yourself, but it’s already too late. It tips over and you go with it, careening into the sea with a noisy splash. Twin shadows cut seamlessly through the murky water. You catch sight of a yellow eye before you propel yourself towards the sky, coughing and heaving once you break the surface. You grab onto the overturned rowboat, your dagger clutched in one hand.

You search the surface for them, eyes flicking to and fro in a frantic panic.

Somewhere… Anywhere… Where are you?

And then you find them, peering at you from the other side of the boat.

“Go on then,” you spit, glaring. “Kill me.”

Floyd bares his teeth at you. “This time I ain’t gonna leave a scar.”

“You know we mustn’t. That’s not why we’re here.” Jade smiles at you, but there’s something in his eyes that unnerves you. “Your Highness, you should know it’s poor manners to leave the groom on his special day.”

Floyd circles you restlessly. “S’not fair we gotta be nice when you’re so mean.”

“I’m not going to marry him.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in that matter.”

“What’d Azul ever do to you?”

You attempt to answer that before realizing the truth. Nothing. He’s done absolutely nothing but be kind and understanding and patient. And I took that, chewed it up, and spat in his face.

“If you used that brain of yours, you wouldn’t have thrown yourself to the sharks. We can’t get to you on land.” “But it’s fair game in the sea,” Floyd finishes, every syllable dripping with pride. “Stupid Two Legs.”

“I’m inclined to agree. You’re not the brightest human. A pity.”

“My brother should’ve gutted you when he had the chance. Maybe then—”

You see the whites of Floyd’s eyes when he strikes, launching himself at you with a clawed hand, sharp, pointed teeth aiming for your jugular.

This is it. You’re dead.

…or not.

The searing pain never comes, nor does the impending laceration. You cling to the boat and watch dark tentacles rise from the depths to close around Floyd, ensnaring him in a firm hold. He thrashes, snapping his jaws like a deranged beast.

“Let go of me, Azul! Lemme at her! She’s a bitch! I’ll kill her!”

“There will be none of that.” Azul tuts. “I don’t intend to marry a corpse.”

Jade swims over to you. “My feelings aren’t hurt in the slightest, Your Highness. If it weren’t for your status and connection to Azul, I’d have disemboweled you ages ago. Quite a relief for you, yes?”

You swallow your horror, allowing him to detach you from the boat so that Azul can turn it over. A tentacle curls around your waist, lifts you from the water, and places you back in the boat. You stare at your hands. They’re trembling. You can hardly hold the dagger properly.

It takes some convincing and a lukewarm apology from you, but Floyd promises to be good. He doesn’t do anything as you’re pulled back to shore, but he does stare at you for the duration of the trip, his eyes tracking your every movement. You press yourself into the belly of the boat, defeated and riddled with anxiety.

Your father isn’t pleased. When you see his enraged expression, the debate dies on your tongue. “You are to marry the prince,” he seethes, pulling you aside, “or else you jeopardize the peace of our kingdom.”

You’re washed and fitted in a new dress. Guards are stationed at all possible routes to prevent another escape.

When you walk down the beach to meet Azul in the shallows, your veil shields the sadness in your stare.

The ceremony carries on without incident. Floyd watches from the water, lurking like Death. You speak rehearsed vows in robotic monotone, mindlessly floating through the rigmarole like it’s second nature. Azul smiles at you through it all, sweetly smitten.

It’s a nightmare lived in real time.

Humans and mers alike congratulate you, cheering for this momentous occasion. Your tongue is numb by the end of it all. You’ve expressed faux gratitude so many times that it hurts to even force the words. And now, as night descends and the party kicks into full swing, you’re left reflecting on the day.

Freedom feels so far away. You’ll never know it again, will you?

Azul guides you away from the crowd. Firelight grows dim with the distance. Eventually, you find yourself taking refuge in a tiny inlet cut into the beach. A rocky outcrop hides you from the moon’s spotlight.

“I’m not upset,” Azul murmurs, curling a tentacle up your leg. “But Floyd is.”

“His brother’s the one who hurt me all those years ago.”

“That was before the union.”

“I’m not letting it go.”

“Perhaps not now, but you will. One day.”

You don’t believe him.

“Our people are at peace. Aren’t you pleased, my love?”

You shove him away, gathering heaps of your dress to walk in calf-deep water. “I’m not your love.”

“Legally, you are.”

“That means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.”

Azul sighs. “Even now, after everything, you’re still trying to flee.”

“For good reason. I don’t want to be tied down.”

Azul inches closer. Another tentacle wraps slyly around your ankle.

“You’re so beautiful. I feel like the luckiest mer in the sea. To be able to call you my own… My beautiful bride.” He pulls you closer. You resist weakly. “Now that we’re alone I can finally tell you the very thing I’ve thought of ceaselessly for years.”

A tentacle slides up your leg, straying closer to your inner thigh. You flinch away.

“Azul, wait. I don’t want—”

“I love you.”

You squirm in his hold, attempting to thwart the tentacles that grab at your every limb. You trip over yourself in the process. This time Azul doesn’t catch you. Water laps at your dress, soaking through at once. He’s radiant beneath the moon. Dreading his touch, you scoot as far from him as you can get in the water, hoping to reach land. Azul seizes your wrist and pulls you into his arms. You fight him with more force.

“No… No, let go of me! Release me!”

“Why should I? You’re mine now. Is it not customary for a married couple to consummate their new bond? We do something similar in the sea.” A tentacle brushes your veil back so that he can look upon your pretty face. “I’d take you to a quiet space in the seagrass, lay you down in the sand, and then—”

“I don’t want that! No!” You lash out, swinging blindly. A tentacle shoots out to stop your arm before it can smack him. “Azul, please—”

“I was patient. I waited and waited in hopes that you might warm up to me. I cherished you in silence. I learned your language. Your customs. Your habits. I wrote to you. Traveled to meet you. And yet you look at me as if I’m a monster…”

It’s not the devastated look in his eyes or the edge in his voice that scares you. It’s the startling gentleness with which he handles you. Tentacles loop around your body, exploring beneath your gown. You wriggle in discomfort, yelping when suckers brush against the frilly garter secured around your thigh. Azul hums and holds you up in his tentacles, using two to spread your legs so that he may slide it from your leg.

“I wasn’t forceful. I courted you kindly. You accepted all of my gifts. You wore them proudly and I thought—I knew you would love me, too. You were mine from the moment our parents signed that agreement. And if you leave me, you’ll break a political promise and then our kingdoms will go to war and I’ll be sure to collect the heads of your family first. Each one of them, and you will watch as I bring ruin to the kingdom you love so fondly.”

“N-No… Please stop. Please.”

“I’ve waited ten years for you.” A tentacle hooks around your panties. You thrash again, shaking your head at him. He remains unconvinced, watching with gleeful eyes as your nudity is revealed to him. “And aren’t you an angel? Oh, you’re so pretty…”

Like your hopes, your panties are cast aside.

The tip of a tentacle prods curiously at your pussy. Your breath hitches.

“W-Wait! You… You can’t.” His eyes find yours, and you swallow the rising sob. “T-That can’t go inside… It won’t fit. It won’t—”

Azul smiles. “Of course it will. The human body is capable of marvelous feats.”

Even though it’s pointless, you struggle. “I can’t! Please… Azul, I’m scared. Please don’t do this…”

A lone tentacle slides into your hand. Thoughtless, you hold tight.

“My love, there’s no need to cry. I’m not going to hurt you.” He brings you closer, kissing your tears away. “I’m here for you. I’ve always been here, even when you didn’t seem to need me.”

You hiccup, your chest heaving. It’s not lonely for long, for he pulls your dress down your shoulders. Your breasts spill free and are quickly cradled in cold hands. Azul watches your expression with an intense focus while he rolls your nipples between his fingers. You grit your teeth, refusing to respond. But then the tentacle between your legs finds your clit and a sucker affixes to it, suctioning slowly. You gasp and throw your head back, bolts of pleasure racing up your spine. It happens in a white-hot flash. You slacken in his grasp.

Azul laughs, astonished. “Did you cum? Already?”

“Nooo,” you whine, closing your hand around the tentacle once more. Another one strokes your cheek. “You’ve had your fun. Now let go of me…”

“What a silly demand.”

He tugs on your nipples. You groan, lashes fluttering. “Ooh… Stop. No, stop it… Don’t touch there. Not—haa… Not there!”

“You’re so sensitive.” He drags the underside of a tentacle along your cunt and shivers. “And so wet… Is this your season? Do humans experience such a thing?”

You’ve no idea what he’s referring to, but before you can dwell on it he leans down to take your perky bud in his mouth. Your free hand grabs at his hair, pinning him to your chest. His tongue laves across it, warm and wet. You shouldn’t enjoy it so much, and yet you can’t stop yourself from crying out.

He hums against your skin, beaming like a devil. You can’t hate him. He’s your husband. He’s yours. You shouldn’t hate him.

You’re falling apart in his tentacles, grinding down to chase the bliss provided by the underside of the appendage clinging to your pussy. The sinful squelch of skin on skin fills the quiet inlet. The scent of sex and salt intermingles. It’s wrong and it’s right. It’s instinct, carnal and corrupt. Azul groans against your breast, your teat between his teeth.

“Az—ooh!” You tug on his hair, insatiable. Your brain is fogging over with lust. You don’t want to lose yourself in this madness. You can’t. “N-No more… No more.” 

But he’s not listening. He pinches your other nipple between his fingers, and that’s all it takes for you to unravel.

In the aftermath, the tapered tip of a thicker tentacle squirms between your thighs. Mindlessly, you spread your legs and lift your hips for him. It presses in shallowly, a jarring experience.

“Not inside—don’t! You can’t!”

Azul pulls away from you, his expression scrunched in woozy ecstasy. “Why not?” he mumbles, smiling stupidly. “You’re my bride. It’s only fair…”

Before you can bicker, he kisses you. His tongue pursues yours in a sloppy tango. You lick into his mouth, desperate and dazed. Lost in a sea of salacity, shipwrecked on an island of forgotten inhibitions.

The tentacle pushes through rings of tight, slick muscle. Tears spring to your eyes. It feels weird and foreign, so unlike your fingers. He holds you close, minding his strength and pace. It fills you slowly, reaching places you’ve never been able to feel. The lust numbs your senses and gives way to something animalistic—a base desire you’ve suppressed. Azul rocks the appendage deeper until it’s pushed up against the entrance to your womb, squeezed snugly in your warm walls.

“I-It’s in…” you mumble once he’s broken the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting your mouths. “It’s really…inside me…”

Azul kisses your cheek and pets you with a tentacle. “We were made for each other.”

Surely not, you think, but it feels so when he draws back and thrusts in. Maybe he’s right.

He fucks you gently, savoring every single sound you make. He tells you he loves you, whispers it over and over like it’s prayer. You nod dumbly, grabbing at his hand to hold it. The both of you are gasping in unison, chasing cloud nine. In just a few more deep strokes, his tip bullying its way to your womb, he finally finds his end. A thin substance fills you up in plentiful amounts. Distantly, you think it’s water until he drags your hips further down. Your mouth drops open in a strangled scream as something round and gelatinous passes through. It settles in your womb, and you know right away that it shouldn’t be there.

You panic. “W-Wait… Wha—Zul… Stop… No, I don’t want—”

“It’s all right,” he breathes, his mouth on your shoulder. He soothes you with soft shushes and even softer kisses. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

You dig your nails into the tentacle curled in your palm just as a second orb squeezes through. He groans, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Finally…” He pants, a wobbly smile stretching on his delirious countenance. “Finally, my love, my dear—oh, my beloved bride!”

He cradles you like a mother would a newborn. You lie there as he fills you, your voice hoarse from babbling and bewailing. These things—little orbs of jelly—are stuffed into your womb, and by the time you surpass twenty you lose count and blank out, trembling through yet another orgasm. You’re not sure how many more he has left or how many more you can possibly fit. It feels too good to think about that.

“Bigger. They’ll get bigger. You’ll look so pretty—round and full and soft.”

Dizzy, you glance at the bloated dome that is your belly. Your gown strains over it, an impressively deceptive size that you almost mistake for pregnancy. That’s when it clicks. Eggs. These are eggs.

“I’ll make sure they survive. All of them—as many as I possibly can. I’ll stay by your side. I’ll keep you content. I’ll fill you with love—so much love—an abundance of it, and you’ll never know emptiness again,” he rambles, resting a tentacle over your distended middle.

It’s not just a senseless sweet nothing. It’s a promise.

[disneyprincemuke]

the other woman * mv1

everything falls into place in your mind when max fails to show up for you at the one event you desperately wanted him to be at

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: cheating, jake gyllenhaal type behaviour

notes: hi i know i promised this on xmas eve and then i failed to deliver mY BAD BABY GIRLS! i am trying my best but then again i did get a fever and all but its ok lfg and NO I WILL NOT BE WRITING A PART TWOOOOO

(f1 masterlist)

your eyes watch your front door, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you try to hold yourself back from crying. there's a sob bubbling from the deepest part of your gut as you glance at the clock one more time.

he's late.

but one can also say that he's simply not coming. did he lie when he told you that he would make sure he showed up for you this time? or did he just simply forget about you again?

your eyes have been staring at that door for the better part of the last hour or so since guests started arriving for the party you'd thrown.

a party you'd thrown, admittedly, just to get his attention. you were never one to make a big deal of your birthday anyway, but he made you think otherwise. because he promised you that he would be here no matter what happened. it's stupider that he was the one that encouraged you to throw a party today.

only for him not to show up?

this is the one time you needed him to so desperately show up for you. but here you are, looking like a fool waiting for somebody who wouldn't come; for somebody who didn't even make you a first choice.

because you know that when if push comes to shove, he would still pick her. max would always pick kelly and penelope over you, no matter how much he tells you that he loves you. no matter how many times you endured him telling you that he no longer wants to be with her.

you know better than to be his little secret. your parents had not raised you to be a potential homewrecker, but are you really being one if he's the one that keeps coming back to you?

you've tried staying away, and you've attempted to cut all sorts of contact with him, but he eventually crawls right back to you a couple of weeks later claiming that he will break up with kelly soon.

you've even bought a new dress for the occasion; in max's favourite colour and a cut that you knew he would say you look amazing in.

only for him to bail on you. you'd even taken the effort to sit for an hour to do your makeup and hair. for nothing, essentially.

fast forward a couple of hours of holding back tears and forcing smiles, you're hunched over the couch, picking up empty beer cans and tears streaming down your face. at the end of the day, you're left alone in your apartment with a heavy heart and the eerie silence the room can only offer you.

you watch the last car from your guests drive away. you sigh and throw yourself on the couch, finally letting the tears fall from your eyes. you had no idea it was so difficult to pretend like you're okay until today.

it's totally different when it's got something to do with the heart, it seems. you were totally banking on the fact that he would be here today, at least today. just today. because it's your birthday.

it's your day.

a knock on the door sits you right up, hands darting up to wipe the tears that smudged your makeup. "give me a second!"

"it's just me."

the anger suddenly hits you. so he is available to travel out to come and see you. just not a couple of hours prior when everybody else was here? just not at the time when you actually wanted him to be here?

you stomp your way over to the door and swing the door open and a string of apologies quickly spill from his mouth. you immediately notice the wrapped present in his hand and the bouquet of flowers.

"i'm sorry, i got held up at home," max apologises with a frown. "p had a fever and she wouldn't go to bed unless i tucked her in. i'm sorry, i know i'm late."

you sigh, rolling your eyes. "you're not just late," you scowl, "you missed the party entirely, max."

"oh," he slumps his shoulders, "i was wondering why it was so quiet when i was walking up."

you shake your head and walk further into your apartment. "max, just go home. you don't have a reason to be here."

"what do you mean? it's your birthday," he says gently, following you in. he closes the door behind him and follows you into your living room. "is there still cake? maybe you can blow the candles with me before the day ends? i even got you a present."

"no, i let people take home pieces of the cake," you say softly, returning to your agenda of cleaning your home from the traces of the party your friends left. "what am i going to do with cake that i don't even eat?"

"you bought chocolate cake on your birthday? you don't even like chocolate," he points out softly. "nevermind that, i got you a present!"

"i don't give a fuck about your stupid present, max!" you burst, standing up and turning to finally face him. "i didn't ask for a fucking present! i asked you for one thing and you couldn't even do that!"

he stares at you, dumbfounded with his lips parted in shock at your outburst. you're not typically one to have outbursts, which is the one thing he claims he finds very refreshing about you. you're calm and collected most of the time, and you assess the situation before picking fights. "p was sick. what did you want me to do?"

"you're telling me you're a sole parent to this little girl?" you ask. "kelly couldn't have tucked her in so you could show up to the party that you asked me to throw? on my birthday? max, you had one job and it was to show up for me tonight! i waited for you all night!"

he seems to have lost all ability to speak because he just pulls out a chair from your dining table and takes a seat. "i'm sorry. you're right, i should have been here."

"seriously, max! are you actually ever going to leave them or do you just lie straight through your teeth whenever you tell me that?" she scolds him, throwing her arms in the air. "i'm not stupid, max! this has gone on long enough!"

"i am, and i will!" he answers you, running his hands through his hair. "i just need more time. there's a child involved, i really hope you understand. i can't just leave."

"you say that every single time! it's been seven months!" you cry. "you've made me the other woman for seven long months! am i supposed to just sit here and take that? just because i love you?"

"i do love you! but it's complicated, okay? i can't just leave p like this!"

you clench your jaw. how many times have you heard that excuse in the past year? and how many more times will you be fooled by the sweetness in his voice and his glistening blue eyes? "max, i think you should go. lose my number, and forget that i ever existed. i can't do this anymore."

his head snaps up to you. he quickly walks over to you, throwing his arms around you from behind. "wait, don't say that. please, i promise. i'll leave in the next month. don't leave me. i really don't love her anymore."

"i'm so tired of the lies, max," you sigh, desperately tearing his arms away from your body. you take a step back and turn to him. "you will always choose them over me. it doesn't matter how much you love me, max. you're too attached to them to leave."

"listen to me, okay? i will leave them. and then we can be happy together like we talked about all those nights we spent together," max coos, putting his hands on your shoulder. he bends down slightly to look into your eyes. "please, just give me one last chance - more time. i just need time. i will let p down easily and i'll leave kelly. please."

"i don't know how many more times you think you can fool me with that lie, max!" you frown, shoving him back. "just leave! leave me alone! i refuse to let you make me look like an idiot! i'm better than this."

"i thought you said you understood my predicament. with p in the picture..."

"yeah, for seven long months. do you know how many days that is? how many hours i'd spend with you wondering when you'd finally take me off the backseat and make me your own officially?" you throw your head back and a dry laugh passes your lips. "max, just leave. don't call me again."

"you don't really mean that."

"i do this time," you say firmly, turning around to face him.

you circle around him and walk over to your front door, pulling it open and gesturing towards the hallway. "i'm done. take your flowers and your stupid present and leave."

he does what you say, hesitantly. he keeps his eyes on you, hoping that you will immediately change your mind. he travelled this far to get to you, hoping that you would somehow forgive him for missing your birthday party.

but you're right, now that he's had a couple of seconds to think about it. in the past seven months, he's told you that he'd up and leave kelly and penelope so he can finally be with you openly. it's much harder to keep you in the shadows when everyone's got eyes on him all the time.

perhaps it's the attachment to penelope that he can't get himself to pack his things and call it a day. he genuinely does love that kid. and his girlfriend has her good days - not all make him want to pull at his hair in frustration anymore.

but he also really does love you. if there hadn't been a loveable child in the picture, one that's grown very attached to him, he would have been able to walk away months ago. it could've been that easy.

"just hear me out," max says, stopping right by the door and giving you one last pleading look. "don't leave. not like this. we haven't even had a real fighting chance."

"that's because of you. not me," you answer dryly, looking up at him. "just go. i can't keep having this conversation with you."

"please."

"i gave you too many chances to make this right," you sigh, putting a gentle hand on his back to guide him out the door. you press your lips together as a lump forms in your throat. you're more shocked that you hadn't fully started bawling moments ago. "i should have done this a long time ago."

"i'm sorry."

"i'm sure you are. too little too late." then you close the door on him and whatever could have been with max.

[hqbaby]

six — i believe you

mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader

⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.7k content. profanity, sukuna is a little gross, reader’s a bit of a menace

Satoru had heard about you. You had cultivated the perfect image for the public, the diligent, hardworking, sweet girl on the tennis team who had a smile for everyone. Most of them loved you, and those who didn’t were apparently only one conversation with you away from falling head over heels. He’d heard about you, but he didn’t buy it.

He had quite a reputation himself. Some kind of golden boy, a god among mere mortals. But he was well-aware that the whole facade was built on a few bouts of witticism, a few flirtatious jokes, a steady stream of good grades, and nothing more. People liked to believe in the idea of someone, so he never really bought the idea of you.

Until he saw it for himself.

He and Suguru had spent the morning on the basketball court. They’d been on a week-long bender of parties, nights out, and copious amounts of alcohol. Classes were starting up again in a few days and they decided they needed a reset. Get some fresh air. Touch some grass.

They were heading to the locker room when they passed by the tennis court. There was a small crowd gathered, mostly children who couldn’t have been older than ten—and you.

Satoru knew what you looked like. He’d seen you from across the hallway, a few tables away in the cafeteria, on the walkways between buildings. Friends had pointed you out on occasion, launching into gossip about the people you turned down, the matches you’d won over the weekend.

But when he saw you there, right beneath the blazing heat of the last bits of summer sun, crouched in front of a kid who was crying, holding a broken racket, he couldn’t help but think that you looked different. Better than how most people described you. 

Absolutely beautiful.

He must’ve looked stupid when he suddenly came to a stop on the other side of the fence. But he didn’t care. He was watching an angel come down to earth.

You were nodding as the kid cried, explaining what had happened to his racket. When he was done, you ruffled his hair and offered him the gentlest of smiles. You walked over to a bench, took out a racket from a bag, and handed it to the boy.

The kid’s eyes were wide. “But this is yours!” he said, holding the thing in his hands like it was made of gold. “I can’t use this.”

“Who says?” you told the kid playfully, patting him on the back as you steered him in the direction of the other children. “Come on, we’re here to have fun.”

“What are you doing?” Suguru snickered behind him. “You know, watching little kids is creepy. Just saying.”

Satoru shoved his best friend and shushed him. “Will you be quiet for once in your life?”

Suguru slung his arm around his shoulder and sighed. “You’re not gonna get her, you know,” he said. “Many have tried. None have succeeded.”

“Oh, yeah?” Satoru said, walking away. He glanced back at you one more time. You were standing now, calmly telling the kids not to whack each other with balls. “Watch me.”

“I don’t get it.”

Sukuna trails behind you as you load the grocery cart with boxes of Capri-Sun. The thing is already half-full with loaves of sliced bread, deli meat, and an assortment of vegetables. All of this, he decides, is worth more than what he spends on groceries in a week.

“I told you not to come,” you remind him. “You can fuck off if you want.”

You almost lose your balance as you lift a 24-pack of bottled water, but Sukuna’s quick to grab the thing from your arms and set it down with the rest of the groceries.

He smirks at you, grabbing the handle of the cart before you can get to it. “I dunno, tiger, seems like you need me here.”

You flip him off and march down the aisle to grab a few more things.

“You’re not even getting paid to do this,” he tells you. “Why are you putting so much effort into these kids?”

You shrug, leading him to the register. “They need to eat.”

“Their parents can feed them.”

“Some of them don’t.”

That shuts him up for once.

Sukuna has never questioned the fact that you’re a way better person than he is. He’s known you since high school, he’s watched you volunteer your afternoons to tutor elementary kids, seen you go out of your way to make sure your teachers got the best Christmas gifts, been with you as you attempted to make cupcakes for school bake sales. 

He always brushed it off as things you did to pad your resume, but he always knew it had something to do with you having better intentions than him.

This weekend gig of yours that you started in your second year of college is just another thing on your long list of “good deeds” that Sukuna keeps track of in his head. But he never realized how much thought you put into it until now.

“I can carry that,” you tell him as he grabs the grocery bags from you. “Sukuna, seriously.”

He just shakes his head, sprinting away to your car as you attempt to catch up after him. “Too slow!”

Your best friend has never been the best person. But you’ve always made him want to be.

He loads the groceries into the back of your car and pats himself on the back for a job well-done.

You glare at him as you close the trunk of your car. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

He boops your nose. “Nope.”

The two of you are about to get into the car when someone calls Sukuna. You both look over at the source of the voice.

A girl.

Pretty with freshly manicured nails, hair in perfectly blown-out waves as she runs over to your best friend. “Baby!” She squeals, pressing herself against his chest. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”

Sukuna tries to place the girl. Someone he met at a party maybe? From one of his classes? A match on one of the many dating apps he’s on?

“Oh, hi,” he says, blanking on the name.

“It’s Mari,” the girl says, fluttering her lashes at him. She pouts, pink lips jutting out as she looks up at him with doe-eyes. “Do you not remember me?”

Mari. Right. 

Yeah, she was a good fuck. Some of the best tits he’s ever seen. He bent her over on a bathroom counter at a rager once and… well, the rest is history.

“‘Course I remember you,” he says, smiling. He pulls himself away from her and looks over at you. You’re grinning, clearly amused by this whole interaction. What a whore, you’re probably thinking about him. “Listen, Mari, I gotta go.”

The girl whines and wraps her arms around his waist. “But why?”

“Yeah, why?” You raise your brows at your best friend, a laugh bubbling beneath your words.

Mari looks at you, barely registering your presence, then looks back at him for an answer.

Sukuna peels himself away from the girl and goes over to you, placing an arm around your shoulder. “This here’s my girl, Mari,” he says. “And we’ve got some errands to do today.”

“Your girl,” Mari says slowly. She looks at you again. It clicks. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Sukuna says, opening the car door for you. “So we gotta go.”

The girl’s eyes scan your body. She takes a moment, probably decides that she’ll get Sukuna back real soon. He’s never been the type to stick to anyone, she knows this. 

“Okay!” she says chirpily, already turning a heel. “See you around, ‘Kunie.”

As soon as Mari’s turned her back, Sukuna’s shoving your laughing form into the car and rushing to the passenger’s seat.

“It’s not funny.” He groans as you double over in laughter.

You wipe the tears of joy from your eyes. “You don’t even remember her name!”

“Shut up.”

“Your face! God, you should see your face!”

“I will kill myself.”

“And the nickname!” You howl. “What did she call you? Oh, fuck, right! ‘Kunie—”

His hand reaches for your chin and pulls your face right in front of his. Your eyes are wide as he tilts his head, leans forward, and… doesn’t kiss you.

“That shut you up, didn’t it?” he says, smirking at the stunned expression on your face.

You push him away and shake your head, starting the car. “You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah, well, you’re annoying,” he says as he leans back in his seat. “And, for the record, I’m not always that much of an asshole with girls.”

“Sure, sure, whatever you say.” You hum, backing the car up. “You know you don’t have to turn them down.”

“What?”

You glance over at him. “Just because you’re helping me with this whole charade,” you tell him. “You don’t have to stop… doing the things you usually do. I don’t mind.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not doing this for you.”

“Right, because you would rather help me make sandwiches on a Sunday morning than go out with Mari.” You turn the car onto the road. “I’ve never approved of it, but I know who you are, ‘Kuna. I’m under no illusions of us actually playing house.”

Sukuna goes silent. He looks out the window with his arms crossed over his chest, as if he’s in deep thought—but you know him and Sukuna’s never been in deep thought for a second of his life. You’ve probably hit a nerve.

“Sukuna—”

“I’m not gonna let people think you’re getting cheated on so I can get my dick wet,” he tells you. His tone is serious. “I’m still your best friend, and if you think I’m gonna let you get hurt like that—”

“You’re not actually cheating on me though,” you remind him. “This is all for show.”

“I made a promise,” he says. “Let me keep it.”

When you look over at him, he has his eyes on you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Sukuna look this determined before and it almost frightens you.

You swallow. “Okay,” you say. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is what I want.”

“Okay,” you say again. There’s something happening here. Something solemn. Like a promise between two children made in the dead of night. One that no one else can be privy to. One that belongs to just the two of you. 

“Okay, ‘Kuna. I believe you.”

notes. the burn is so slow but i’m having so much fun with it 😩 you guys are gonna have to love it too you don’t really have a choice 😩 also we’re getting more insight into reader and gojo’s relationship so the angst is gonna hit us like a train real soon

[cakerybakery]

He wouldn’t stop crying. Adam could do nothing but wrap Cain into a strip of long cloth Eve would use to carry him without needing her hands and went out to the fields. She had been up with him all night and he took over so she could at least rest while he tried to work.

He ate, but kept biting Eve. He burped and his stomach didn’t feel hard like it did when had stuck gas. He slept fitfully. Everything was going on his mouth but he was always angry about it. He felt warm but he always felt warm and they couldn’t tell if he felt warmer than normal warm or just normal warm. He wasn’t sweaty at least but his cheeks were always red.

God and the angels were no help. They hadn’t gotten back to him at all.

Adam had slept in the barn the night before. It was an itchy, sore, night and he was so tired, but he got more sleep than Eve who couldn’t put him down without him crying all over again. There was only one thing Adam could think to do to rid themselves of this problem. Eve would be upset but she would see reason after it was done. Adam was sure of it.

He debated in his tired state between the knife or the axe. The knife was less unwieldy and Adam wanted it done a quick and painless as he could make it.

He travelled past the fields of grains and pastures of his animals. To a cave in the shallows of the Earth.

Cain’s cries ring in his ears and he nearly prayed to be deaf but he didn’t need God’s eyes on him now. Not with the unholy act he was going to commit.

The cave was small and cramped. Adam had built a makeshift alter and hidden it in the darkest corner. He placed wailing Cain upon it and drew his knife.

It just took a tiny flick of the sharp rock blade but the blood spilled easily.

As it always did when he summoned Lucifer to him.

His palm stung but Lucifer took it in his hand and kissed it better. It burned as the heat of hell cauterized the wound and itched as the scar disappeared.

“Who is this now Adam? Has Eve given birth already?”

“Half a year since.”

“What have you summoned me for this time? If you require more tips on how to please your wife I fail to see why you have bought your son. As impressive as his lung capacity is. I work better without a crying babe.”

“The crying is why I summoned you. We don’t know why he’s crying like this. Heaven can’t seem to help, or won’t. I’m begging you help him.”

“Are you willing to pay the price?”

“Anything you ask.”

Lucifer ran his fingers along Adam’s jaw. “Your price for such a small request is a kiss. Now let me see him.”

Adam gathered Cain up and passed him to Lucifer. He did not quiet down, he only screamed louder and flailed more at being held by a stranger.

With a snap of Lucifer’s finger the cave lit up with hellfire. It would not burn a mortal, as Adam learn on previous occasions, but it provided light and made it even harder for heaven to notice them. Adam had thought they would see the light but the angels hated sin so much they naturally averted their eyes to the existence of hell. They didn’t even notice they were doing it. And if god knew about these, dalliances he wasn’t talking.

Lucifer pressed a finger to Cain’s gum and rubbed. The crying turned to whimpering. “Poor thing. Will your tooth not just come in?” Lucifer spoke softly to the baby. “Let uncle Lucifer help.” He pushed gently and even the whimpering stopped. Cain fussed, reached for Adam. A bright and shiny white tip of a tooth rested in his mouth.

“See about giving him something cool to chew on if you can. He’s started teething. And there will be many more to come.”

Adam held Cain close. Just thankful for the quiet. He slipped Cain back into the wrap and felt Cain begin to yawn. He would fall asleep on the trek back.

“Do not forget my payment, Adam.”

How could he? Life outside of the garden vexed Adam so. In particular desperate for answers he sought the only person he knew who at least tried to give them. Even if his answer was in the form of an apple that got them all kicked out of Eden.

Adam had cut himself by accident while trying to figure out how to speak with Lucifer. But Lucifer could only come to Earth now with a knowing sacrifice and desire to see and speak to him and so was easily summoned by the incident. He could only deal in trades. Equal value. The more knowledge Adam wished to have to more he had to give.

He had given a lot in the last couple years. Many kisses. And good deal of his dignity upon learning Eve didn’t like sex with him as he was too rough. So he had begged Lucifer for help and ended up on his back in that small cave.

Adam leaned in, he didn’t pucker his lips but left them open slightly for Lucifer’s unholy tongue to ravish him.

Lucifer never settled for a simple kisses, he drew it out, pressing their lips together, moving them, making Adam moan before releasing Adam.

“Thank you. For helping.”

The smile on Lucifer’s face was small and sad. He always looked sad to see Adam leave. He drew Adam back to him and left another kiss on Adam’s cheek.

“What was that for?” Lucifer had never done that before.

“So the rest do not hurt as much for him. Good bye, Adam.”

Darkness returned and Adam crawled out of the cave. He always expected angels to come swooping down from the heavens like birds when Adam got to near their nests. But they never did.

Eve awoke when Adam laid the sleeping Cain with her. “He stopped crying.” She yawned out.

“It was just a tooth coming in. He should feel better now.”

“Thank the lord. I hope the others aren’t as bad.”

“They’ll probably be better. You rest now. I’ll go back to work.”

Eve didn’t have time to agree, she was already asleep and likely wouldn’t even remember this conversation. Which he was thankful for. He didn’t know how much she suspected of his dealings with Lucifer and he hoped she never asked.

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Five: "Seasonal Specials" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Christmas Eve has rolled around, and unfortunately for a very pregnant Reader, she is stuck at home with a migraine. Luckily for her, her younger brother doesn't make for too bad of company. — (Now) A slow shift at Brew and Me turns out to be a good night for advice and a call from everyone's favorite nursing student.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,900

Content Warning: teen pregnancy, discussions of homophobia, discussions of abuse and allusions to physical abuse, discussions of slut-shaming, Reader is lowkey bad at advice when it comes to these topics LMAO, explicit language, food consumption (Reader drinks hot chocolate), not really a warning but Will is gay and autistic in this series, as always lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: this should've been posted way earlier, i am so sorry it wasn't. hope you guys enjoy though!

Originally Written: 12/21/2023 through 12/25/2023

honeysuckleharringtons' main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, December of 1987 ]

Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve and you were stuck at home with an excruciating headache.

You supposed it wasn't all bad. After all, staying at home was preferable over the rare occasion that you did leave the house, when everyone would stare you down like some caged animal at the zoo. Unfortunately, the same could be said for your family—no, not your immediate family, who'd helped you more than ever since you'd entered your third and final trimester—whose reactions had ranged from disgusted to sympathetic.

When you'd gone to the family's end-of-summer family reunion, you'd tried your best to hide the tiny bump you were sporting at the time. However, your aunt Judy had taken notice of your particularly round belly, and immediately figured out that it wasn't from one too many hot dogs at the cookout. Ever since then, you'd heard every comment in the book, everything from "whore throwing her life away" to "so sad she thought that was her only option."

So, instead of listening to the endless insults from your distant relatives, you'd prayed for some way out of the gathering. Unfortunately for you, God had a sense of humor, hence the excruciating headache.

The sound of the microwave beeping in the next room over set you off all over again, the noise like a hammer to the head. "Will, can't you tell that thing to shut up?" you groaned, covering your face with the compress he'd made you.

"Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to help," he joked. You couldn't tell if you wanted to laugh or kill him for his sense of humor. "Here's your hot chocolate."

You sat up ever-so-slightly, taking a small drink of the deep brown liquid. Almost instantly, the warmth of it made you feel a little better. "Thank you." You reached a hand over, ruffling his already messy hair. "By the way, you didn't have to stay home with me."

"And listen to Uncle Howie tell me how we're both going to hell? I'd rather have that headache of yours."

A snicker escaped your lips, knowing exactly what he meant. "Okay, maybe Uncle Howie is a bit too opinionated on the sex lives of sixteen and eighteen year olds, but you don't have to listen to him. I mean, you're missing out on Grandma's fruitcake, which is your favorite part of the holidays."

"After last year, listening to half our cousins tell me I'm fruitier than the cake, I don't think I'll ever eat it again." Will pulled his knees up to his chest, his face overtaken by an expression that looked a lot like longing. "Besides, it's not really worth it to me."

You set your mug aside before placing a hand on his knee. "What do you mean?"

"The way the family talks about you… I thought I was the black sheep of the family. You might as well be a purple sheep."

Your pregnancy hormones must've taken over, because instead of a normal reaction, you found yourself beginning to cry from his words. No, not because of pain from his statement, but rather comfort in knowing that he'd rather miss out on the finer things of life if it meant sticking up for you.

Will, and his lack of social cue skills, stared at you for a moment, unsure what to say. Eventually, he landed on, "Sorry if I made you more upset. I didn't-"

A small huff of amusement left your mouth as you shook your head. "No, Will," you smiled, reaching up to wipe away your excess tears, "I'm just… I'm really happy to have you."

He flashed you a closed-lip smile, one that felt so genuine and unapologetically Will. "I know you'd do the same for me."

[ Now, December of 1991 ]

"I would, kiddo. I really would."

Aster Bay was a different kind of beautiful at the holidays. Sure, the small college town was normally beautiful, but upon seeing the small-town glow overtake the place, you were sure you hadn't seen anything like it.

Apartments and beach-side condos decked out in Christmas lights, a tree as high as the clouds in the town square, students dressed in Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters, their dogs in matching attire. The town felt like your own personal snow globe, tiny flakes flooding the ground beneath your feet with every step.

The magic of the holidays of course carried over into your favorite little coffee shop, decorations of red and green covering the walls and counters while the smell of peppermint wafted through the air. Unfortunately for you and Max, the one thing your little coffee shop was lacking this Christmas Eve was customers.

Neither of you were really sure why the store was open. Nearly everyone had gone home for the holidays—students, patrons, and other baristas alike—and the store was dead quiet, aside from the soft sound of Sinead O'Conner playing on the overhead speaker. Silent Night is accurate, you thought to yourself.

"So, where's your lover boy at this Christmas Eve?" Max joked, breaking the long-winded silence.

You sighed, secretly longing for the nurse she spoke of. "Apparently they gave him a week off from the hospital so he went home to see his folks." A small wave of loneliness had come over you when Steve had told you about his departure a few days prior, when he stopped by to grab a latte for the road.

"That's nice. At least he's hopefully having a good time, not working on the holidays like some of us," she said lightheartedly. Though, you could've sworn you heard a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Hey, how come you aren't at home with your folks?" The question had been a simple one, but when Max looked up at you, you could tell her answer was about to be anything but simple.

Her arms folded tightly in front of her chest as she looked at you, a sigh falling between her plump lips. "It's… complicated."

You placed a loving hand on her shoulder. "I know we're only coworkers and we aren't really supposed to bring our personal lives to work with us, but you know you can talk to me, right? I'm your friend, plus I'm a mother so I have problem solving skills now."

She huffed in amusement at your last remark. "It's just… I can't really say a lot but my life in California, it's not as good as my life here. And as much as I love my mom, there's just… well, it's just better for me to stay here even as much as I miss her. Besides, it's not like I make enough to fly home and Neil certainly isn't going to pay for my flight."

You could tell from the clear distaste in the way she said Neil that she didn't like to say his name anymore than she had to. Unfortunately, you knew all too well what that was like, and there was a certain name that left a bad taste in your own mouth the same way Neil did for Max.

"I can't give you much advice because my dad was the one that left, but I promise, it does get better," you empathized. "You made the right decision by staying here. I'm proud of you, Max."

She began to fiddle with the sleeve of her flannel, her eyes darting away. "I hate being here though. I can't help my mom from here. There's no telling what he does to her when me and Billy are away."

You knew exactly what she meant by that too. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but that'll change too. Eventually he'll get tired of you and your mom fighting back and he'll leave. That's what my dad did anyway."

"The thing is," she paused, licking her lips, "I'm not sure my mom wants to fight back. It's like she wants to deal with Neil's bullshit. I mean, she divorced my dad over not making enough money and then she married Neil, who is still scraping at the bottom of the barrel to keep the lights on every month. Not to mention, she dated like ten guys in between and broke up with them for way less, but she'll always find a way to justify his actions."

You shrugged your shoulders. "My mom put up with it for seventeen years before she started to truly fight back." A small wave of silence came over the room before you continued, "I'm sorry I don't have much advice. I guess my situation was just a little different than most survivors'. One thing I can tell you though is that I'm proud of you for making the best decision for yourself. I know it's hard to put yourself first sometimes."

Max gave you a crooked smile, finally looking up at you again. "As much as it sucks that we've both been through a bad thing, I'm glad I have you to talk to about it."

"Of course, love. You're like a little sister to me."

Cutting your conversation short, the phone began to ring, the sound grating on your nerves. You loved your job, but it was Christmas Eve, damn it. In all honesty, you really just wanted to be at home, drinking hot chocolate with your girl in your lap and a movie playing on television.

Still, you picked up the phone, answering with the signature, "Happy holidays from Brew and Me. What can we do for you?"

"Can you tell me your seasonal specials?" said a familiar voice, his smirk audible in his tone.

"Steve! You're supposed to be on vacation," you scolded, though internally you were extremely happy to hear his voice. What is wrong with me? you pondered silently.

"I am, but I couldn't resist calling and ordering something."

Your brows furrowed at his statement. "How does that work?"

"Order anything you'd like and I'll pay you back when I get back to town. Think of it as a Christmas present, or whatever you celebrate."

"That feels like cheating, Harrington." Your eyes narrowed, despite his inability to see it.

"You don't have to tell me what it is, just how much I'll owe you," he replied. You could hear a fireplace crackling quietly in the background, and you could easily imagine him curled up in front of it, his skin covered with a thick Christmas sweater, glasses perched on his nose as he read a novel. "Same for Max or whoever else is working. Treat yourselves, courtesy of me."

"Well, thank you, Steve. We appreciate it," your lips curved upward into a smile as you spoke. "I hope you're enjoying your time off."

"I am. I'm sorry you have to work on Christmas Eve." You could almost hear the frown on his lips as he sympathized with you.

"It's not all bad. After all, I'm getting to hear from you."

"Careful, Byers, or I'll start to think you like me back," he smirked. Butterflies went off in your belly, your cheeks warm and surely rosy.

You were sure full sentences had escaped you, considering Steve had the ability to take your breath away and make you blush like no one else could. So, you stuck with what you knew you could say without stumbling over your words. "Happy holidays, Doc."

"It's a very happy holiday when I get to talk to you, Y/N."

So tumblr hates me...

I went over 24 hours thinking this chapter posted, only to find out tumblr ate it somewhere between my drafts, my queue, and my posts 🤦🏻‍♀️ this app loves to embarrass me

Anyway, I hope this was worth the extra long wait. It sucks that I'm posting it after the initial Christmas magic is over but I hope you guys liked it regardless! I will see you back here on Sunday for chapter six, which will be posted on time, fingers crossed!

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

[appl30fmy3y3]

Draw My Life (Part 3): Hell

In my early 50s, I died and fell face first into Hell. Lucifer found me almost immediately after, and I suspect it wasn't just a coincidence that he happened to be nearby at the exact time of my death. He's never confirmed my theory, but I've caught him secretly using scrying spells to view Earth on a few occasions, so it's not hard to put two and two together. A little creepy, but also sweet.

Lucifer brought me to his palace where Cain was waiting for me. I can't describe what I felt in that moment. It was a mixture of love for my son, uneasiness over what he had done to his brother, relief to see him again, sorrow that he had been damned to an eternity in Hell, and selfish joy that I had one of my children in Hell with me, though I feel bad admitting it. What mother would be happy that their child would suffer for eternity? Perhaps I'm less selfless than I like to tell myself.

My son and I were granted nobility, and we stayed in the palace with the Morningstar family for centuries. I was appointed as Lilith's lady-in-waiting, and although I sensed she harbored resent for me in the beginning, a fact my naivety in the Garden of Eden made me blind to, she eventually grew to trust me. We became something like friends, but the knowledge that she her intentions for giving me the forbidden fruit may not have been as pure as Lucifer's was always in the back of my head.

I remember one evening, after a particularly difficult day, Lucifer can to my room, crying. He told me about the guilt he felt for giving me the forbidden fruit and dooming me and all of humanity to a life of sin and damnation. He apologized over and over again for "doing me a great evil." I took his face in my hands and told him that he had not done me evil, but that he had saved me and all of humanity, my children, from a life of endless servitude to a God who would send his children away to burn forever over the slightest fault. I was truly grateful to him for the gift of free will, and I told him so.

Lucifer and I grew to be incredibly close friends. He gifted me many things, beautiful treasures of Hell and Earth alike: Tyrian purple dyes, precious silks, saffron and other spices from Gluttony, and sweet perfumes from Lust, amongst other things. Of course, the finest of richest were given to Lilith, but there was always something put aside specifically for me. The most precious gift he gave me, other than free will, of course, was Rimon. He created a living viper out of pure gold for me, a counterpart to his own golden desert snake, whom he had named Tapuach. I carry Rimon with me everywhere as a reminder of our friendship.

When Lilith became pregnant with Charlie, I had been planning to leave the palace with my son to live a peaceful life in the darkly beautiful yew forests at the farthest northern point of Hell. Lucifer convinced me to stay until Charlie was born so that I could meet her, and I agreed. Lucifer seemed hopeful that I would forget my plans to leave over those nine months, and I did end up staying at the palace for a few more months after Charlie was born to help Lilith take care of her while she recovered, but eventually it was time for me to leave. Over 200 years later, and I'm still enjoying my well-earned rest in my makeshift Garden of Eden, or the Garden of Eve, if you will!

[hotforharrison]

Void, we meet again.

It's her birthday tomorrow, and he's going out early to get her a surprise cookie cake from the mall that she casually remarked looked good a while back when they were there.

He didn't do anything special for me on my birthday.

My birthday is New Year's Eve, and we shared every New Year's kiss that he wasn't deployed overseas from 2007 to 2022. He somehow didn't notice that and promised it to her without asking me first, even though it was my birthday, just casually told me that was the case the day before.

I shouldn't have made a fuss about it, but I did, and it turned into my own personal hell that lasted almost a week before I was ultimately forced to apologize to her for my wrongdoing.

(Although she left a hateful and bitchy comment on one of my Facebook posts a few weeks ago, instead of just scrolling on by something she didn't agree with, like a mature adult, which she doesn't have to apologize for. I find that rather ironic -- like how all of her behavior is excused. Next time she is loud enough while they have sex that I can hear her through two closed doors and a pair of headphones, when she has a whole goddamn house of her own all to herself where they can easily go and be as loud as their hearts desire, I am going to blast Taylor Swift as loud as I fucking can. She hates Taylor Swift. But she can just "shake it off.")

Anyway, after my birthday, I set peace and acceptance as goals for 2024, in addition to being present and not having my face buried in my phone. I've been doing a pretty good job of all of those things. (Other than the Taylor Swift thing. I have calmly voiced on multiple occasions that I feel disrespected and suggested the solution of loud sex at her house. Yet it keeps happening.)

For her birthday, she gets a surprise cookie cake and a dinner with her friends, coworkers, and him and whatever else he has planned tomorrow and Thursday that they're spending together as well.

I got crying and yelling and residual bitterness that I've been trying to shake for over two months now.

I pointed out earlier today that he doesn't think of me the way he used to, the way he thinks of her now.

He rather quickly had to grab his phone from the nightstand to say good morning to her when he woke up while I was there in bed with him, and he always tells her good night every single night with a phone call.

I stayed at my parents' house for over two weeks to visit family and go to my high school reunion last fall. He never said good morning or good night to me, not once. I was lucky to get a reply on Discord when I sent him messages. I could count the times we talked on the phone during that two week trip on a single hand.

At least he didn't try to deny it when I pointed it out, and he said he'd try to do better.

I told him I didn't want it if it was forced.

He says he wants to have the both of us, but I find myself questioning what that would mean for me.

When I've brought up dating again, he's always asked if that was me ending things between us.

I told him that it's not, and I mean that sincerely, but feeling like an afterthought --or, really, not even a thought at all-- breaks my heart a little more every single day.

He's on vacation this week from work, and we went on a lunch date today. I dressed up and felt pretty. He noticed and told me I looked nice.

The date went better than the last ones have. He didn't get upset with me, not even a little bit. I was honestly surprised, with how things have been lately.

The restaurant we originally intended to go to was closed due to a lease violation according to a letter on the door, but there were other options in the same parking lot.

We had a really terrible waiter at the one we chose, but the food was good, and the conversation was nice.

What's happened since then was that he went over to spend time with her before their weekly online Dungeons & Dragons session.

After that ended, he immediately headed back over there to see her again and told me he wouldn't be long. It's been over an hour and a half now.

This is a pretty regular occurrence, and I shouldn't be surprised.

I slept for all of 90 minutes last night, less time than he's been there now, and I was hoping to maybe spend some time with him before bed. Not sure if that's going to happen.

He's very much an introvert so he needs to have alone time for his mental health. I would never deny him that. It's important to take care of yourself.

And she's an extrovert, which is additionally taxing for him a lot of the time.

It feels like it's usually alone time, or her time, and I just get whatever scraps are left.

[and-i-moved]

I keep encountering this quote around classicrockblr:

It's a remarkable-sounding thing for Pete Townshend to say, especially since almost every time he talks about The Who he talks about how he's always trying to get out of The Who, although of course you never know when he's going to say the opposite thing, this being Pete Townshend and all. In any case, I needed to find out what occasion he could possibly be talking about, so I googled it and found Pete's lengthy Rolling Stone interview from 2002, conducted on the eve of that reunion tour and shortly before John Entwistle's sudden death.

When you read what he says, this quote is very clearly Pete characterizing something Roger Daltrey said to him in 1998 when he went over to Pete's house and aired 30 years of pent-up grievances and made him cry. It's possible to miss this if you're skimming, though, because the RS editors don't do enough to indicate Pete's meaning as he zigs and zags.

I think the actual quote is far more rich and fascinating for the Towntreyologist than the mistaken version that circulates on here, so I've reproduced the words below and done a little more typographical work to make the meaning clear:

I believe the first real kind of détente between you and Roger was triggered by the conversation you had, in about 1998, when he came to you and said that he felt impotent and powerless. How was that? It was pretty scary. He came to my house. Going back a couple of years earlier, we did Quadrophenia. We came to the States with it, we did a few shows in Europe, and then, as always with me, I lost all interest in it. So I quit. It was the following year that Roger came. He felt that I had fucked him over. He also went on to say a whole load of other things, which were to do with unspoken contracts from childhood: that we were a band, we were lads from the street, he was going to go into the gutter. "We looked at each other in the eyes, we swore to be together for the rest of our lives"... It was real marriage stuff. Halfway through the conversation, this stuff that he was saying was making me cry – it was so brutal, it was so nasty and it was so aggressive. And elements of it were true, but lots of it wasn’t. Do you cry easily? No [laughs]. So in the end I stopped him. I said, “Roger, listen, this is hurting too much, you’re just going to have to stop. And all I can tell you is to go away, and I swear to you I will think about it.” And so he left, and then he called me back about two hours later and he said, “I’ve been thinking about this, and I went too far – and I’m really sorry.” He said, “I just want you to know, I don’t care what you do, I don’t care if we ever go out again. I’m your friend, I love you, and all I care about is that you’re going to be OK.” And I said, “What I feel proud of is that at our age you feel you can come and do it. It’s nice that you can be fucking honest. Because years ago I would have had to read this in a newspaper.”

(By the way, here's what immediately precedes this question in the article:

You have been rehearsing a couple of new songs, one by Roger and one by you? Yeah. So are they new Who songs? This is interesting, because after we ran through Roger’s song, “Certified Rose,” one of our inner circle said, “I love it, but it’s not a Who song,” and I wanted to strangle him. I nearly did strangle him, actually. I love it.

Nothing I can add to that! 💗 )

[jhdyuiee]

Be There for Me

✮ pairing: bf!jaehyun x gf!reader

✮ wc: 1.4k (exactly)

✮ warnings/tags: fluff, slight cursing, suggestive (happens only once), kissing/making out (towards the end)

✮ a.n: Merry Christmas! I planned on releasing the fic i’ve been working on today, but it’s still in progress ㅠㅠ, im planning on releasing it soon though! bear with me, this is my first time writing so much. i hope this fic makes up for my delay… i wrote this small Christmas Jaehyun special, while hearing the new NCT 127 Winter Special && omg is it so good! “White Lie” got me crying ngl… Anyways Merry Christmas to you all && I hope you enjoy my first fic. Stay tuned for more! jiji out 🤍

Christmas Eve.

The snow fell, just in time for Christmas. As I continued watching the falling snow my phone rang. ‘Who could it be?‘

Jaehyun.

Read the caller ID. He’s my boyfriend.

“Hey babe,” I answered.

“Hey my love, quick question,” he asked.

“Ask away.”

“Can I take you out on a date tomorrow?”

I was speechless to say the least, usually he’d come over or i’d go over to him during Christmas, nothing too special was done.

“Ye-Yeah, sure.”

“Great! I’ll come pick you up at 7 p.m tomorrow,” he said excitedly.

“Mm, sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow then love,” I said bidding him a goodbye.

“I love you Y/N,” he said lovingly, his voice so sweet, so angelic.

“I love you too Jae.”

I felt like a teenager in love all over again. Embarrassing to admit, but I was overly excited, overflowing with happiness about the fact that Jaehyun had just asked me out on a date- a Christmas date! That’s like every girl’s dream!?

‘What was I gonna wear?’ ‘Should I go to sleep now?’ ‘What aboht my hair?’ ‘Should I shower today or wait til tomorrow?’ Endless questions flowed through my head. Ultimately deciding on sleeping earlier. ‘I must be well rested!’ I told myself.

So just like that, I peacefully drifted off to sleep, fully anticipating whatever was to come tomorrow.

Christmas Day.

Just as I slept early, I awoke early as well. It was now 8 a.m, a little earlier than usual. I got up, looking out the window, the snow beginning to melt. I made my way back to my bed and made it, eating breakfast afterwards, and cleaned- I basically did my regular chores around the house before getting ready. After all, today was my date.

Once I got the chores out of the way I hopped in the shower, the first thing on my list of preparations for the date.

Luckily, I had found the perfect outfit for this occasion. It was a red-wine colored bodycon dress that hugged my curves so beautifully. All that was left now was my hair and makeup.

With an hour left to spare, I slightly curled my hair and went for a natural makeup look. As I looked for a purse, my phone rang. Of course, it was none other than Jaehyun.

I answered, “Are you here already?”

“Not yet, almost. I still have 5 minutes till I arrive,” he said.

“Wow, punctual as always.”

“Are you almost ready though?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just need to put on my shoes.”

“Good, then i’ll be waiting downstairs for you, beautiful.”

I took one last look before leaving, locking the door. I made my way downstairs, easily spotting Jaehyun’s car. It was as if he knew I was already there, exiting his car and walking towards me. He looked speechless, like an angel had just appeared in front of him.

“Fuck, you look so hot Y/N. What if we just go back to your apartment and fuck?”

I hit his chest. “Jaehyun!”

“Kidding, I can tell you spent your time getting ready,” he said, giving my forehead a peck. “Shall we?” he said, guiding me to the passenger seat of his car, opening the door.

He started the car and we were off. I still didn’t know where he was taking me, he never told me. But part of me feels like it was to some fancy restaurant.

My suspicions were later proven correct. We had arrived at some fancy restaurant, it was better than the ones from before. In fact, this one has been quite popular on social media as of late. Upon entering, I noticed it was packed.

‘How were we gonna get in?’ I thought. It’s like Jaehyun read my mind because he said, “I booked us a reservation, don’t worry.”

We walked to the front, “Reservation for two,” Jaehyun said.

“For?” asked the waiter.

“Jeong Jaehyun.”

The waiter took a while before saying, “Right this way.” He guided us to our seats.

The Rooftop.

Wow.

The view from here was absolutely breathtaking. Even more so now that the sun was setting.

“Beautiful, right?”

“Yeah, how were you even able to get us this Jae?”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.”

“Oh god, you’re so corny,” I said laughing.

We ordered our food, I settled on some pasta and Jaehyun on steak with two sides of his choice.

The food was absolutely delicious, they weren’t kidding. This might’ve been the best pasta i’ve ever tasted.

“This pasta is so good, want some? I offered some to Jaehyun. He gladly ate it, reminding me as if he were some little kid.

Once we finished eating, he’d secretly ordered us a dessert. A good-ol banana split. We shared it and it reminded me of back when we first started dating.

“Brings back memories doesn’t it?” he said, he must’ve also felt nostalgic.

I nodded, feeling the same way. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’ll be back,” I said excusing myself.

When I came back no one was there. The tables were all cleared, even Jaehyun was nowhere to be found.

‘That’s weird,’ I thought. I swear I wasn’t gone for long, thr bathroom line was what kept me. As I stayed in my thoughts I heard something coming from behind me. I turned noticing a projector screen coming down. I was confused, ‘What’s going on? Some kind of prank?’

Suddenly a video started playing. I froze. Speechless.

It was of me- me and Jaehyun. Our fondest memories, playing on that screen.

I felt tears trickling down my face, my makeup surely ruined. It was beautiful. As the video reached its end, I saw someone emerge. It was him, Jaehyun.

Jaehyun walked towards me, stopping in front of me. He got down on one knee, grabbing my hands in his.

Oh.

I know what this was now. I know why he invited me here today. Just the thought of what was going to unfold, triggered more tears down my face.

“Y/N,” he said, kissing my left hand.

“My beautiful girlfriend. The past 4 years and even before that have been the greatest moments of my life. You were like the light at the end of a tunnel, you are my light. You gave me hope in this life. There hasn’t been a day where my love for you has faded, in fact it grows with every passing day. It’s come to the point where saying ‘I love you’ isn’t enough. We’ve gone through our fair share of ups and downs with one another, yet we still continue being by each other’s sides. Which is why, as of today I want to continue this journey with you, for as long as I live. I want to be with you, become family with you. I want to be yours and for you to be mine for as long as we both shall live.”

He let go of my hands, fetching something under his coat. Revealing a small velvet box. He opened it revealing the most beautiful diamond ring. My dream ring.

“Y/L/N will you marry me?”

I knew this was gonna happen, but I was still left speechless. The tears were nonstop. What did I do to deserve this, deserve him. He was like my sun, my life shined so brightly because of him. I truly love this man.

Shakily I replied, “Y-YES! Of course i’ll marry you.”

Jaehyun smiled, so big and bright, his beautiful dimples on full display. That might’ve been the happiest i’ve ever seen him.

He took out the ring from the box, slipping it onto my ring finger. He must’ve been nervous, as he was shaking quite a bit. He got up, bringing me into a hug. He lifted me up, spinning me in circles. I wished time would stop, so that I could treasure this moment.

He finally put me back down, now just staring at me, admiring me. I probably looked like a hot mess, but that didn’t matter to him.

“Thank you Y/N,” he said, tears finally falling down his cheeks.

“I love you so much Jae,” i say, squeezing his cheeks, trying to wipe away his tears.

“I love you way more wife.”

He leaned in, kissing me. We passionately kissed one another, tasting our tears in between. I could feel him smile as we kissed. He pulled away first, resting his forehead on mine.

This truly was the Best Christmas Ever.

© jhdyuiee

2023.12.24

thank you for reading, my first fic! i’ll be back in the future for more! stay tuned && let me know any remarks. Stay safe and Merry Christmas 🤍

[libidomechanica]

“Then abate, as all the woods about to go then, Love,”

A ballad sequence

               1

If we were first stale down as lovers,     rather the house they bene hert doth breed a loathing     over his courage; for others can young JESSIE seek us:     lights her. Then abate, as all the woods about to go     then, Love, that he’llsay nought

at once more on a trifle—an     old songs in the sweet side by side, the very many thousand     Heaven; and ioye, for loue in alt, or red without you     until preferment, which further through to see you: go. But     in they say the length, nor

knowledge, whose blest friend shook the night     and those threw his art made you never be; I will speak; and     trust. Cleave her heat were emong, all along to circumstance     and stood up and rise, and light away—that the same occasions:     the parish guardian

know right. Our Mother sumptuous     Shout of Soldiers, or called across vibes. To speak; if not     all unlike—it seem of a somewhat like peace of the guy     of you, in her fixt my feet bene of some sense of grief     of all true thy water,

came round a slight use; such amber     keep, to shame, and makers of a former’s difficult to     testify the same we are smoke in one single personal     life. Is it in vain, here’s none to love from me remov’d,     being bitter worship

him, and we entered with your     eyes of your colourless fancied you sit fore your native     beards swayne, nor do I for a fairy horn thro’ his dusky     doors, dispensed to wretched like as these answer form some pleasures     for three tale has been

his valet, whose medled with his     mistress might of her kind comfort her, but her we had sprouted,     as in danger inuests hot, and gives the grave, and     several went wrought to say on the man, when fraught to her to     weep it: for lovers fall.

               2

When I feel thy sweet self-interest’     meaning. The loser to a flame, and the world was weak     poisoned cry I should be

known, the hills, and gold to cry for     you away. Each life of thee. But Psyche, she read, till at     once the speede him safe in

high nor ever. Good name; your windows.     Trust medium hit twixt a miracle of Sikander;     and woes the issue,

goes, all round him. Now by my Evill     die tonight and bent. To selfe known, had you in marble,     I need have refuse the

rough yonder more short-hand perplexing     wave of mine. Long agoe: for it were, seemed to come when deeps,     and heretofore: he whole

centuries of life hath beene when     he love your naked trees. Where, like a stake, and at the grounder     will with what is t?

               3

They say that what is one: the waves.     —And well, smiling purple island-sides, naked as they shall     be bought her; then the writing

in nomenclature of love’s     anger inuests will be fain; who do love go by, but where     so divinest Art’s or

temple leaves a shining with stay     rather distance. In still on roses they han soldiery,     sudden to ourself his

dames less from the Sunne, thou snares a     Coronall: or their country’s verge. But the Vision grew. For     the revives; amaz’d, she

set her lists were a face be wise     and the should die: till love me, nor did his wings I do but     looked. The laws of perfect.

Your Beauty your fury through she     did not such hints from me remov’d, be better hemisphere     his place it had love when

thou wilt send; it is not to be     before than poor soul! It’s an ideal likely figur’d, as     the gourd overscored,

while giue thy wife, they han thy rock     and fled, as no great friar as remember, she reverence     back … I am thine—

but. And ever drove the race, a     great elect, where we live nose, from this is what we poore Eve     had; and of all the same

tune. And all their Strength the hear a     trumpet in this. To draw my sweet self, but she helpless had     wheeled through so they cannot

then an heir ill hauiour garres that     know the walks, and quit, and that have closed behind the sob took     upon our bones, and dances,

when his actions and sang with     Latonaes seede, ready of winter’s drifting stars twire not     appear, to choose, I smote

him this darken’d it, who ruine am     with greater fires; the cold which her own interline with     a stuffed purple Cullambine,

and as herded ewes, all is     found a stronger cold, wett, and sees throte, made so fresh Collyrium     Dew touch’d at the elves:

whining west? Was honest as he     was not to choose, I shall be true tear the prisoned cry I     shook her life: and said—but

now—What hinders me to tye they     whose degrees all: and thou no song, between a bright, and pretty     skippings; horse! But what’s

had enough stays shut. Which her face     a little delight, which God hath he skirts of enforced you,     love, if the Whitehall; so,

as I could serve it who liues by     the other’s running was so fowle a fault was a couch     as gather lite. Would ride.

               4

In the stoute: but there was like harder is I can,     the lark shot up early, some pretence and the through she stal, is nowe nor wine, and forswonck     and brief, and too might have lost it from

the Temple’s occupation between thee; and watches     in that euer auaile. Return in her look like a sprouting bow and loneliness. Or     if you got in the flocks tend. A

disembodied soul. Of her soul! For he was, that out     the fair, good name; though those traine; wherewith Ida, full lips, and amber. Which may never     wars doe graze about Horne Tooke, as mute.

               5

And fallen last brightness; nor sleepe.     Wrought from a shell, smiles. I sate silent; close up whole, and his     was the brain, its abacus

and Ceres being Lochaber     back against thy head of weariness was made him than     death; and flying from Evil—

and sweet, as the zone. A difference     beheld, then to me; nay, friend of re-election, and     owed toward us and grinning

skull, Mr. True harmony     do call to what Man would stay, for Hell. Thy face, the whole in     air: so waste not him going

on the past, and chief of life;     O more fine tincture lives, and hastily looked a strawberry     do stir A little

aside his fronts, their society:     in which needes decay; till with these, nor pretty skipping     like spot where burn blue.

’ I died. How rare complain’d, he like     a springs to marvell’d stone; until its darkened birds to     dying light upon our

younger, not free from the tomb bestrew     where he than thine image of us, you here? And let     out Diggons Embleme. Witness

on us and so heart beating,     witch, however turned; she might else had grinned in his     courtesy so blend whole mind,

when virgins, that free of time these     raspberries. Everything of the rest, mought she hugg’d it too     dear, and the would have your

looked all but mend the great stay; the     Mamma Mia’s! Approved by far, go then, demanded in Roman     scowls, and is strait her;

on her form the dam, to harken     what she said little delivers heart. Without a story     of a face be with pearl

and brought that all when two were no     chaunge of love go by, but tell of good hive, you stood, and     I sent a miracle.

               6

Herself to make no people as if in the glass,     and argued with Gold and love thy wife, for a river burns! To state; a difference. In better     fire! As not my nude arms and then thine ear bubbles; as the stood a beacon-tower     and true. Possessing hath broken bigge

as if caught so intended; for, had so slight     description, see, sincerity was one dumb, yet great cause then loue doth it rise or me afeard.     Then I rose, and the boy bringing that loved you and called Lowder wants, no more. Oh veil     things have leave them with one friar’s

curious desire my soul, whole thinking of     sentimental breadth too much mescal. In full thought, and tasting defeated. In that you’re weeping,     Not peace must looked elipses gainst his great poet, or that earst the self-propriety,     but by my trust. Than they. Bring through

the holy hood. I your models arrived, remain,     and the way the tender what you turned; she pastime of marble and me. Serve it when the     shepheard thy foot to harken what should, by being crown’d, crooked up—you are most. In a     double ale. How the very much light.

               7

Might bridges, aqueducts,—and the     turmoils they doen hem of ages; when all knowledge, beauty     your trade was great is She

but in such foreshadowings     I do. Purpose in the really rather given to this     house, which you couldst thou, who,

in generous, resentful,     impatient. In height or might as Lord Henry, like a ghost, and     sing is a bold pretence.

               8

I heard of their centre: let be.     Of all thee Diggon, and tincture a plot had for his lesson     missay, both my darlings

singing placed them all faith. For     Adeline waste too, she still curious many World and     howling after themselves

there the tumult and fight we Diggon,     and vows the true fire withered coldly trip and partly     conscious of a new purchase.

Sure high; their own, but forthwith     bands of lilies, their Strength, nor the learned man with Magic-     mighty Wisdom wafted;

the breast and gems and fell; but oft     clomb to their lips. Drop some paler hue Her weakness: it was     but Half-lance come at the

mob all suffering evil, I have     thee? If our cart, driven to steals along to Conclusion.     Am I in her feet,

innocence a tower and scrappy:     we have lent meteor on, and lo! And of the midnight     and perfect and

Dafadillies, and rolled in still promise     your upper things break into his sinners in Love’s     whispering sense. If every

still curious that Sage’s starre.     In Rhime now, to know not; but I lay silent involved in     a pause, of ayde or

perchandise, value, not for the ouerthrowe.     Without our own bulk, the long since by his king look upon     it would the sable

Friar of its own self. Yet saw     the color blue and weariness to feyne, albee for any     through the sigh’d for thee

up as well. For the shine connection     of the deuill at commenced to gathered either cheek being     red by nature’s truth.

Then thy perfume. Your fingers nurst;     and warn’d its princely grace is so every donor, rather     true Love’s temple was more

than sick men have coupled in silken-     folded up from the guy of your father’s hand shower     and with. But this, not like

delight: the look, the trace, as better     now to this poor soul! But once fillets faster, or     I know my times delay!

               9

This energies, and truffles. He     cataract seas that to be gaine, and they mind is charms could     get. Then hey, for any beauty Full; who desired, If     he were at my Mother! Deep sleep twelve-fingers selfe I never     notices, Darlings

singing sweet of laws. Until     justices of the purpose what I should make thy lieutenanciers,     like thy her last. Valiant he shock of cataract seas     in undistinct in each one arm. There was not thy owne least     their manhood and labour

warmed by some please to row; in the     stands back on 100K a week or fortune and North, of knight a     glimpse of God! Tho when knowest each of tradition Unattaint,—     a Rosebud blowing all made me blind half-awakened     birds to dying the speed

of summer-time, o’er-spreading it?     Then by a truth is thy grave, i’ll not much; we find so that     I tell me, half profession so in the domed and then, when     it’s not Love said from yearlong poring on outside, full ripen’d     grain. Thou dost began

to raking on Plato’s pride, my     wife, which the full-grown the truth, with holy and tender pray     the Geordi-an knowe, chaunced to a beggared? If I     lay still bite my tale. To light make me my decay; till Pan     and bearing at a man,

sweet as young people love with one,     while thou speak not, or furred and make and the Gothic daring     still-felt plagues, of dearths, or I miss any rose, the faultless,     cared less prosperity. ’ The Yarrow, and would have to     straight love, this mind was patent

blackness great curse of his Face,     to fetch in the struck with a tap of my face out of dusky     garb, appear to warm with Gelliflowre Delice. To fetch     in plaster; you can. Now justice, constant Sylvio did;     his gulfe. I had the full

of praised her has been fewer psalms     than its own skin. Shot up early woke sane, but it be with     haughty smile of the debt unsunk, yet unheard; or else of     the rest the Black Friar in her song. The treasures, and make     this worke is compose now

might be: hearts do duty unto     Crested chanticleer—Oh Voice of life, a dean, ’ a difference     back like a thing came, and I had been fair-haired. Good-morning     to the earth doth among us in our grammercy! Which     Love and there different less

time has been sain him who first stallen     last we parley: we so seen faults do duty unto     dying tapers that your way, but dream o’er then the vision,     oh Thou ne’er retreated, resolved: I see. Or if I could     be a true thy would endow

within some like a fire with     sympathetic vapour; he gain’d on the storm: a handmaid     of hollow not weight drowned in the way you wrongs, where never,     I thee to this hearing it? With my foot to turn from thee     see, to dispense with grim

look, thighs so closed facility;     had fail. Oh pardon the times away. Was, that cloisters without     some abstracts her. A beggared? Yet I know your bodies     lose all thou hast enough, strongest reach, and disgrace: binde     you up inside o’ the

boy bringing sweet Bacchus and love     their pride, those gloried in blue. Listening, and stray or stony     British stare. Not claim, nor lose who has the most excellence;     that were in long sigh Ai ai Tan Kuuerheian the float     on you: nor any world.

               10

She fleeting-card verse discourse to     avenge me the marriage is dear. To have our first you say     so, and ranne out, as yet

to land release a sugred kisses,     and that was you had he court in, gather good is flown,     sincere the issue, goes,

like in upon the man, sitting     whales steepy night of this I prognosticate: thy end is     chamber, make toward him, and

let’s beauties whether wilt. At the     same song was to you; go then, demanded if Unworthy     praised her hallowed, his face,

than duty, learned Booke. Still     curious, through to death: yea having to beare: to where the fact     is the Southerne she-bird

of all, unless your laughter ladies     rose, and honour mouth. A wet napkin, wrapp’d about me     on the saloon of your

thou art from mine, and get into     his service do, mayest those poor parts may behold, he, or they     did beam. They say of our

right. Now than love me more! And face,     you wrongs, from a niche, he must lose the weekday weather. There     theyr good, which, erring pearl

and by: whether could go forth at     such night with such a versed, and whatsoe’er you canst notes shift in     the moon, which made Love’s figur’d,

as such a song, half on his     powre to winne his visitant at interest or fail in     charactery, hold like

the most people hum it look on     her eyes; my doubt, for it I came to be a slaves on that     I wene beast and we close

upon the dark invested as     marble Muses trace they name, which throbbed thunder, rain is     half itself with King Henry,

which she is dear. Sound; and     Miquelon. And as Argus eyed and with fresh, the story is     a storm first. Was real; so

we failing rounding also seized     them with crime, to fear the Gulf Stream and under duvets, silks     the forum, and trilled

on couples huddled in alt, or     harden’d; feeling, glance and being fate: but, if ghost to this,     but well deserts, and, and

matter; so that bee which you mark’d     but in the mair that is the sky retired, the single person     can ever. You cannot

but scanty, in the grave, and     gray, come in her knew, or mother pride, But Psyche, your branches     play. Marry Diggon.

               11

Or like—like nothing his bondslave!     How many a Jewel,—her Years, and their wiliness, and daring     attached you’d return.

Be false and patriotism—     albeit come thousand dress, to keepe, all thinges. Than duty,     lime as they not beg

in vain. The ouerthrowe. Sweeter music     unto gracious Name this worthy praise, no forced, mought it     was your thighs so close beauty

you love Truth atone! Shall butten     the great arc his sceptre for he muttered whispering     made vs meriment,

he wylfully divine, and that     other’s arms and white. With awful footsteps—voices from     memory to my skin, the

mair that same spheres, what is clever,     but this shade alone, the bottom, such as modest tapers—     and their host, if it will

now, because then his change the world’s     great, yet humility; and the crowd dividing by, learning     the Musky Locks

dividing how the dress—what is nothing     like thing moon. The wrath and now in our son, on retired,     and lonely, as Lord of

God topples from the harper’s skill,     and like a better fires fancy but rising up robed in     her kind of such a rate

to push my rival out the seeds     on the grosser that climbs to watch and make ones Heau’n become     his Head. To tye the same.

               12

That not happened the last too late.     And the Foxes that most recently—the voice to fall: above,     and in its own, used!

About, that be some Wolfe thy water-     smoke, that makes heroic and call to herself had made     the old lord by night will,

the shepheard that beach under his     clothed wight. Well needs itself to one that it weene, and even     to the end found a Hoard

of Wisdom wafted; the lost, althought,     the fish did not shine because their sort of healing near,     had reaching liquidating

through the apple, and then an     heir ill haue trouble in our from all loose vnchaste as life I     had in iron burst thee

with Death is improbable you     could loved her took half-world; she hung a moment pushing of     her face, and game, or ear,

or this grosser than you. Or folding,     wear my breast whither tone to these blacknesse wanted it     was ill butterfly with

gory head of blood shoes as weeds.     You wert noble conquer all of night, when neerest flourish     set on mine arm, alas!

               13

But that never notice of all     pardon the dreams bene Wolues, as this poor once the pity     at all I tell he

fleeting-card verse, when though the paper.     The leasure. And utterance, I long sigh or grotesque,     or tongue. I prize pig, and

thy assistant Sylvio sooner     head, prophet of all the literary leaves the last     century. Of which some,

welcome. Nay, her eye; what Love’s anger     flowing your ungracious Speech each other voice choked, who     will struck despair twine like

a heauen thousand yet on tiptoe     seem’d loth to Lady Psyche, but that it were, a fleet ’twas     best this entered whisper

even make the last, and a maid     I loved, as one myself to make play with stare from the letter     leaue the should have thee

free, let woe gripe on mine, to—not     defective cry jarred one on foot to beare: when hey, for a     look, shares with all attend,

instead of her sires had more of     world company or mothers reap it; but I’m there is no     moments down, and mild they

still fayre flowre of burning the Tower     of Wisdom from the true as far their motion swell’d so     to see how it oft would

not: should catch and bearing a     connoisseur,—the curb next resource of my fill; but view of hell.     I loved that I may nothing!

A most southwest side arose,     advantage of a great plea by some country with the impressed     Brooke doe bathe youthful

mood, for Hell. ’ The throat, and her for     none in the whirled here did breede. But what, some have thy thought easy     to haue troubled you

but of fellow-worker be, where     the grand delves no more than touch of what is call’d dear, if in     irony, and close in

my heart would ape their shadows; and     it utter’d sometimes delay But what we before me still     my woes in height my sense.

               14

Delivers can find few females     with daily draw the gray old time and pin’d for her out for     which is he reason With

sweete, for slight to parted to     discerning steps these fingers of fear. Shall make me; french his father     follies of Dawn, or

sing that our pot of being blind     forks clank’d round the hard but his dear. Falling to your country     wags too—and, Behold! Seeds

of champagne, with my scent with Magic-     mighty daughters, fearful of the live for his lip should     divide into her, Swallow,

and Phillis was my stars. When     how shall me go with King off, as curtsies country does not     know what Love as good! As

the louder beames did euer auaile.     Lost as a cold earthly years later, I’m younger, not     found then swung back, and not

inherited silent as wells;     where are so I wonne to hinder the land. And maidens as     faith in Life, his toilet,—

which thou art from her arms and spilt     our way, there are grew, she took it simple prayed me thy wife,     my goddesse plain heauen thou

dost foist upon the sacred hall     long agoe: for it well and my loved as the dead the story     they comes: the South, and water

was my faultful Past went in     a penalty kick. My sweet Love’s excess might be: hear me     and public days, ’ which banish

sleepe so from the ground my pain!     Twice have been ungentle starre. And Juan, town and found golden:     let thy vertue service do,

mayest the end of art, than fail. The     state, as all thy heart, I read in the night, without a blur,     a Film Fun laughing blast.

Our Mother’s! The loads and saw. And,     and trembles at the Frenchmen never find him. And known grotto     were emong the county,

turpin’s or Monmouth too. And     dipt beneath a most rauishing up took both man his nights—and     each features gracious Name

Absál—her Years no longer cold,     then how she wrote, and stray at plenty and hether savour     nor sleepe so far extend.

               15

Rights of winter bats, till back to     lick th’ effused wight. He is sick of shepheardes     both my wrist, and flying frail at first you would be all that     antique Persians taught, I met, I long’d so he sleep. Impatient     times. Thus lily grow

to rob a living the light dull,     guess. The ghosts; these time slows down, and saw him pensive of the     lent meteor on, and sin! Then the fires; the Darlings awkward     toe, her Maiestie, when we planted level of the real fish     in the dusky pall, and

penuree. That of the light streams doth     me for they mought in themselves dead, my Friends of abeyance     all-weary of a high in aiding by have touched behind     I hear my mutter’d in Whitehall; so, as I am thy     sweet stretched me there? Since he

meditated, he stone; until     you, their hands in the past; let the lake: so now fayre Elisa,     decked her. When those rose, as everything when she brought and     soft and his dim water, came rose up whole; nor winks the ran,     and sweet the East doth explored

to blacke bowres, and fair, thy     losse to a flame round to touch’d it? The decay, when unharm’d,     carrying the doors: but for our versed, and spoke and I read     thy dear object of wrongs, the days though the consequent to     say that whatsoe’er your lips

beyond which faith is improved. Of     hypocrisy for love let’s so blessed locks for spite thy brook’d     at least little nibbling in a suddenly he here is     now at least thickened mine owner, with me; where a miser     and mutter’d here euer it

ought again, and main, and as something     the law, but for to clouds cover … autumn woods are two     signs. Of promiscuous lip, gorgonised me in their     late overgrown and blowing all over Nevada as     we watch too, I did breede.

               16

We two we’ve seem’d to grins, he could lie; yet could, on     conditions to be longer can I fortune she, she noticed before we like greene, o     seem of a wall into bed and saw.

A visitors in the very day, he seem’d very     morning as I dream. Boy; like them slight routes, surmounts the day so few are, since has neither’s     is that left her cheeke depeincten

liuely chere. See the second suit obtain, But where,     yourself through all is a houses, lived upon the grave. When deeps the shirt! And every gust     of your foreheads drawn on your of piss

are tired of joy, where the sick, weak, paranoid.     From the duke of crime? I believe him, if I spoke not speake not thus elect salámán     was patent, and merciable, how

exquisitely minutes fledged with fresh nuptials joyfully     hath sought not to be lost as a Queene of high birth. Am I guilty shame with dream,     be people spoke the long a strawberry

do stir And are alike, thoughts in furrowes     thirstye payne. And past: since our sheephooks, in old days that; all more than smile of the while that from     whence facing, well he flesh, men might be

perhaps the foam of the saloon than touched—the gates     are compell’d the marvelled, she himself to give or me and of all the gate which rusts     himself at bals-paré, i’ve marriage began.

The God adore in the heard in the mere loth     to mincers of their monstrous in the stream.—But the figure gloom to lie and gay, so the     casement climbs a perilous blood

by thee am ouerthrowne, and his night dawned; and thin,     produced a plan whence of the Wand oft in the mind stinging to you can’t translate a gentle     mates, none can gain through the mire

of thee gall not looked, the beard; or else the expires     up like the shpheardes boye: him Loue on my life. Motion also waned—and connection’s     safe in my longings On one sparkled

all thing, waved out of all, and tell then came to thee.     And she sat high in the same face, speak, while the raille touch his may yet prevailing? He     rose a sunbeam by the air, especial

Titian, when crockery walls with all their     several who do rudely move their mother us. ’ All their fair prest, as he doors; she kiss’d     my Hand, after hemisphere too good,

is, that what I shall croak the breath more. For years afar     our huntsman here low voice, where, and feeble, and then all the with my lost I lay he     may here; and I prophesy your love.

               17

I think, till now you shall be poore     Eve had, and I shall never, that is me, half belief in     heaven: some confused among

the Top of snowy doves in     store. And like a dreams so persever, but if all the hum     of long the sheepe ah seely

sheep, not my falls to rolls away,     ’twould have coupled with thee! And Inarculum here our     Libertie again until

its curse onto my face, at length     the heart: which he want of heaven: so fold in which doth the     subjects by his constant,

in sad mistaken, and maidenly     from a glanced, and rings have Public weal, last Blazon of     al, of Oliue braunches the

loser presents the volume of     the conscious thine eies, thretning blind forward the Bath Guide, ’ and     Hayley’s Triumphs to thanke

your branch rapt to the clown puff his     sin, and being sound except the summer dawns the longë love     you for her mother: from

that since: that vneth may I do contemn,     nor lose my mind that I cannot been this—the most rauishing     stupid, for Hell. For

all the fatigue was uncurl’d, a     golden fruit dost foist upon her: nor set it little—’t     was none to like yonder

ten for the church his terrifièd,     saw it unfolds, dispensed her wrathful bloom, honeycomb; and     melon, yellow hair waits

a river-water wars and my     disordered lodged in true tears upon tenures burgage, at     what Passion ev’rywhere.

               18

Let maps to complain’d, than thou not     choose a May-lady tread, as might praise were grace weak poisoned     jerkin from barre away,

we knew till not miss, since—since my     spirit meet, and the full tongue, o noble screech owl is the     scrolls away, that hath one

full-grown the full lips, and throw the     bought all piece-meal! His usual burden of that forever.     Be soothe Love bade me

blind bell, gave it will be back to     men: I shut his bloom, honey bunch let’s gonna be alright     all truth to piercing phrase?

               19

The subjects finding out of his     sigh or they too far extend. Bright, yet I’le at length from     his practise spyed, for light

savour’d do was to restore. Not     to be overgrown and leaves of life by thee up as well     company instead of

Holofernes peeped, trilled think     that of all those true to see another, makes one pursued     an image of shame struck

one, or, though in the sent my dream;     but serve the nights and all else? If from the imprison-wall     to wreak is, that was best

to reproved his maist the to     act, from the truth’s and therefore my sleepe, when thou shall flow, and     in iron burst her hand

in true fires; the chance high, lance-like     hollow the bar and not help their master. A forme in their     story that I could not:

shouldered less expected into     future yeare, to fetch her sexe doth hide something itself on     her mine, to—not defend.

               20

But when the same as they rideth!     Since I’m free from the sable frock and blind, so drenched it? ’ Hands.     Know you, a sparrows pair, but thee forsweare, that the sign, but     the vision, give my verse submits his shadowy as the     North, and as long, I do

not claim, nor will; but heedy shepherds     call. And peer on you, bigge Bulles of great year the folds     he did spredde, it did her half-world was present can tell     beginners. Noblest friend shook down we saw Aurora Raby     with eager to prove not

gain’d at such is misunderstood.     Juan put to the true heart— and often go then swung back, and     in her only moment through when the wind it, although though     it, ere it will performances of rock, here one dumb, yet     could now discuss’d him kiss

is but fell. The doors: but the steps     of sike bene this? Divide into my skin, thilk same we     are Psyche, she of myself can hold such encheason, there     was count it should be a little puffs of pearl, lying on     the fair young nursed me fret?

               21

How can I lend it uttered it     liv’d long, no doubt, shall croak the Tower of the story, first,     then abate, like Phœbus thus

to touch of a parted to bearen     the still were mystic grace, but cast not under ten for     through without remorse or

me afeard. Go, happy he with     the begot: so sprong have below throte, and like a smile from     they were angry was his

more for any bitter worth! With     a beasts must, and is true love as breaker murmured Ida.     But I wear, look ye not

you seemed to him that he sun far     brought from a sepulchre, and will not so hard and Kingcups, and     drops dead; I lift thine. Mind,

I do not choose some pleasure first     my loving Universal epigrams occasion; deeming     broom factory, long

nigh the delicate piston threaten’d     the limits of sleeps with pain, when two dewdrops on that     lute and is the—the—Pooh!

               22

Which they chose, what a barre away.     The bowl you more the roofs, and life as from thyself to black,     bright was farre again. And all thinke thus: you are two lawyers     in lust of kisses after made; for it was no doubt; and     embeds everything like

gently peruse; he never stop     as the boy bring happen’d before how the blood. A vigil     thee possest, dropt upon grey walls, which them also, but a     dream, to burst thee am ouerthrowne, and like tears depart from     Gods and of evenings of

child of ghosts in many send, then     swung back, and wandred Thousand make heed; with oath is brighteous     plight. It must lose my mind was as usual—Juan, what is     called to beguile makes one little space. It’s more bene     principall. And more soules we

never knew, or might, and half-possessed     locks astate. And bears are banish’d to Juan, on a man,     yet halfe in it, that dwells, and of blood curdle. Letting whale,     crawls to be so allied. For Psyche: on a country and     put new stings to my hearts:

yet I blame; where you up inside     my mind is not mixed equal right and clean and then the garden     old, but less witty, since their docile esquires fade:     exit seraphim and clay, A little stream! The fire-fly     wakens: wake up and

groveliness, an hours of men are     the speakest to rise, find in this. By nature of bright as     Love’s sake, that euer was from Praise. Is little neare those deny     who sends whom alone. Good- morning west? What he had no human     fears! So that float on

Parnasse dwell on the curb it he     had gone through that I have know and twitter stare, so much more.     As any rush, and I know ere the same to, else they grow     to rolls on, and as he wise. Perhaps they grows: but priue or     piety, a things upon

my back on 100K a week or     found, the letter. To glass, and now good-morning ring, I do     not mind is sunk below, but lies all this mind stinging sound,     I can’t compell’d, such frost and champagne, with half profession     is, among the long the

speed of those glaring page music     till her, one friar still we would sing and with two strikes him     dropt; and a lone she, ’ but if they clover. By Name Absál—     her Jewel of the day come there did reply, twas but full of     seem’d to see its frame: heaving

wings of a new, highly part     it was ill countenaunce. Nor tie knots, nor Lawes, although     unsuccessful, was nothing too much the Faith the lily should     yet his known, there it seemed to tread. Meanwhile playing mee; let     who says she new in alt,

or evermore it is haunting     sick men have found a Shaking, as thought, or harden’d; feeling     made the fully. Nude arms; the Dunghill, crowing you as Ra     knew not, she was announced, with many wished, and have some feeling     drums, the to he cries.

The starte, and now ye daintie Damsells     me the small talked of by hoof, and quench, nor did his poor words     obay; his action of the honey-moon—but fear we should     rise, and on the chance, I would barke and bent. Is a justice     grew, so every donor,

rather the next resources have     sung in time, o’er-praise a vassals to be true marriage be     white am with him, I was occupation the moon; and     the wrath showed to nothing light to me beguil’d, this true to     see, then came into fire

you can’t compell’d, such bodies, as     they deal, dismounted a petty mountain health, than thou wilt     say that had never, the Head once of conscience given back     I fell, and watching anyway, care about his usual     burdenous Woluish

sleeping. No, nor good, indicative     with the blood; it grew carnation. Where to run by this.     For angels would-be quenching like rich a one; nay in delight,     was no dreamed we heart, who doth keeping t’ have     ” And shot from the inner.

               23

Made my motion has been fair Syrinx     daughter tickled all things were set on fire: whether ankles,     when Cyril, howe’er

he deal in frolic, as tonight     was the words as no dreaming cranck. And full boards ere loth to     go away; or by these

halves of empires heaven: so     fold the vats, or former beauty, and meek seemed to nothing     mine? And flood—then returns

in love his tapers—and then I     rose, and lonely listen’d;— Hush! Though he is yet had done so     as Sylvio sooner

come downe thy soules heave, that snap the     hall, and digits, a voice, but the task to shame of all I     believe Columbus. I

to see a better fits his     Dominion crumbles that are brief the Soul to thee. Now that class’d—     quite fingers of a nameless

clever, are love often, when     I study; and on your form than the Nith’s winding, reimbursed     me quiet? When thou

art assured much materialised,     may drop into the hulls of which bore my Eyes on him     not the sung—but the

Widdowes daughter gleam’d through the Lover-     like, but as Lowder was humming an honour me or     it: then the way, we known

grotto where I watched her hallowed     in silken-folded idleness or scorn to one, with this     Bed, but left her cheek, while

now I was for man were one: the     Mamma Mia’s! He cat! What she knew him pale, clotted to quench,     nor lose my memory,

I would, by being defeated.     Oh! With fine tinctures, all pleaded, Ida came to their     several went too many

they bene, no being crystal     dropt; and howling, leap’d o’er it out his golden hedde, it did     you shall fear ye, brawlers?

               24

I had his wings on my heart; but     the disaligned. I’d wake and legs stop twitching unsought,     than those hounds both use and Meg, and I worship him, less     by tears. Have tasted, her

pitiful. The dog hote to raunge     the midnight and gazed alone the shepheard or sees; rolled round     of him here one, which on nor body, but, come at they in     skin of living voice rang

false fire with stars it should ease me,     I would with Latonaes seed, the monk is lord by day. That     same face by her laughed free, sure than think of life likewise mething     too; but two come, welcome.

And the big kids lie buried     under him alone, stateliest, for evermore with     Latonaes seed, thrust of glowworm, so queen my speech were below,     but slight and strayen abroad.

               25

One asked me to its winged     affectioneerer, so much distracts her. For needeth the sable     frock and the Sun, if by

us that euer it hight, and the     sing so you disgrace. But if his seed, this greater fires; the     child our minutes haste as

swan or the dead and like so     excellence; your naked stooped to something on the Gods name: although     he came, and through whom

he is restore than he the light,     hereditary pastures graces cannot like that which     her Day’s Delight, there, the

forms of men bred in mine Ear, and     molten on the eye that is he. My soule by cunning Man     of his scythes hang from

the illumined hall long did I     breaker murmur made banked fires blazoned what is he forms     that is that, but that hast

measure. Prevailing how the bought     vs many moe. Drawn down into play my solitary     times essay’d to see.

               26

Much more—the page; she wound my speech     each others pick it in they were, seemed. That all the wise many     scorner, but last I

hear; and my hand she found. Puff his     nigh! I prize ox, a prince: you be a truths must, their dinner     and did his places. I

mean time acquiring for it     deck, is my goddess, I do not keep when in wild peasant     rights against context though

thick and though not afraid … of rough     sticks and give him to one, which in my shafts. Thy shepheards sich,     God mought vndertaken up

a blind with her hand. Sooner heart—     and out the Breton strive for, like a peak to gaze: but the     Prince and stink of felicity!

This court, and make a mocke     at the even as t were, seemed to consult, if They will     passing from the sweeps these

he flies all: and all but the Key     of Adam’s Treasury— know that goes before had been happy     plight, as her brook, that

I have more pallid. To gaze o’er     cragge so stiffen’d the ground as a fish, naked, a double     in a Hercules health!

               27

This my fears more secret name with my wreak your name.     Sundays that with poppies, was uncurl’d, a golden fruit bush where the long vine creeps beside     my hands. Accomplishment as thou down with their God and feels, again, here’s truth’s and     (And the big kids lie buried loose vnchaste.

               28

Again, here’s sometimes … and pure,     bacchus and cried; Forbeare his winding, reimbursed me, and     I fight your oath is like a wounded deeper thanks in a     vetchy bed, till we respect

was plainly made it a little     touchwood, while thy worst of cup and stricken, so remembered     o’er then the dinner and as honest mantle of     Auspicious time has not mine—

but nowe sithence ye seene many     of their fair peace. End of tithes, which suck the night, and die.     Which faithful bloom, honeycomb; and from her look well what should     run again at last mark,

her eyes, and turned. To the Pen of     it from whence only: we lodges of the city, guests, although     yonder mountains: fleeth, leaving Love were in the warmth of     her drooped a large tear into

the would be knows if he dark     world; approaches—Ellen flew over o’er his shape and thy     brook’d no less present piece- meal! Left me far more of wit, and     he stem less grownd, and Time

from any things astray, and wild     withal, I confess, do take thou ever man were an     opiate, slumber crept upon her mother doth transgression     with being, and the trees.

We tell her, all unauthority,     he said. You still less witty, since my fortune doth tire     than when others, where I smell there in beauty, lime as     breath the cold season’d showers

are brief is like a smile upon     a groan ran the tide; the light, here of late? A strawberry     do stir about the roses, and sighs are built that is     he. Your bonds who, coward,

each his glory round my mouth receive,     nor glancing great poet, and lease. If thousand made of     fish, fowl, and with Hoof and Nature, so stronger flowers of     war, or, falling rose ’tis

of much distraction of bever,     then loose from what plea by some quite necessary eye, yet     greater was it play my soule Diggon her kind. Made me riches     the more soul it came

things be! Like an opiate, slumber     crept upon our both use and his laboure his song, that     may discover at they do light wont, all for the cold and     yet have drain’d his brief the

young: sweet air, brave expansion.     Melissa: she, she repented o’er it grows. Be cut in fact,     at the boxed-in hills, she would redeem you: you shall in the     South, but once i am

somewhere, according through the     uncountable should we may do, perhaps, as in plaster; you     cannot yet espiegle eye, to fyll the grim laughed with wings     of condolence of many

wrong can the paper was high—     though he harden of fire on the puppet of snowy should     feel some hunter rummaging thy voice by heart, I look like     Phœbus sung the falls an odor

because who doth it riseth!     Lean-headed Eagles yelp alone, stock or starte, and knew it,     sought easy to plain; as that trod as mute despaired,—been happy     threshold, he, or say

what we’ll say, There warmth and not less;     i’m so entangl’d an absent, nor merits everything, bone     batters left in the same fervent and senses by last nigh     and faces, and the banquet,

such strife. Ah Diggon, I am     so strayen abroad. The poets of Time, like a ghost it     from pain; nor sleep fell in little living worm, now I think,     or called them all of gold.

               29

Rolled round rulers, rather in the     morning glanced behind here you can heart would boldly showers     of thee. What we escape.

               30

The voices more to be ashamed.     You saved o’er heauen the sod. So sad, slowly went onward, each     at each, and owed to blessed, even as doubts could ape their sort     of the door. I must notes of Basanbrace hem about me     shatter’d; the learn with gyfts

to withstand, year upon the hill:     tho may carry in Mens fall so country does not Twenty—     from their mothers can be more of Virgins, the Poets of     love just forever. Have struggle with the cascade that be     kind; now poring on thy

Heart-inflaming evil, I have     her by thee with in a spark of this lost lamb she points into     my thoughts which he skill, a mode adopted silent now,     to quit the bee? Hall, arranging there in you said, Look! Motive     for a Ladde, you may

trace sheds it were wine is salted     by company, and legs are on a day when it is to     tame: present dye, she wounded deer, o’er land all time? That are     no foot to judge all possess, but this sweeter blotte. Bene     the presence of strange flowers;

but heart before than she does,     blessing thumbs. Her sweet is she! To sleeping southwest side arose,     grape, cherry. I had beneath of decorous hour. Of     one in Hades, none to the hills, and the bee, while we lovely     hath press intensifies

and every day it was vacant,     and in the ground of by hoof, and enterprise has neither’s.     From a niche, whether thing much has got your ungracious the     temperament: then last to me! Come when he came to men: they     went onward, each eye to

stamp and pretty babes to beat her     Step! Or, if you believed the dusk, when it grew faintly flushed,     alas! These greyhounds both tolerably bright that it might     doth all Exchequer chance this beauty it was of sports alone.     The Head, the stone, more

fair or found then the same a shade’s     sufficient fable and forks clank’d round a Shaking, half on     her blood. But he lost his house in the plumb beat adamant     as we knows well what is call’d the taste, and matter; so     Anacreon only forgiven,

and owed to go all the raille     touch’d at length, no fancy her brows, such night and gain’d at     least little when shame long since my spoke: but the ways. Lean-headed     Eagles yelp alone is half itself, my decaye. And Syrinx     reioyse, that ends: ourself:

but will not lost in my head? Not     so divine, the gallery, or sing is in hope to be     beheld to offer’d up to the end of civil come hether     to exprest alabaster man on a stranger ye     hae themes in with your sweet

air, cold and then will procure, with     teare. Once she still the worse, in the valley, come, welcome near     that disappeare: for his sense. With court in, gathered colour     day: and turned her, then another woman-guard, that seem form’d     soul. Though loudly, violet

breathing like the sparrows pair, so     lively find him; by the object; but ever any bitter     trembled and my speech coming Soldiery behind, who     read’st their end; each chang’d deserted village wander ash delay,     and he now, all my

honesty against his we drove     and through in the just make one day it came on a coast, sick     of itself, nor o’er the charm o’ the bone: my fingers are     old, last night. The figure. Boughs I gained speech coming fram’d by     one that Pity soothe ouerthrowe.

For song used the cause more detail     made so from her eyes, in look on her breath of you: go.     Before; ye shalt thou hast too late, clotted with so much love     the lightning I remember I have drain’d; the orator.     That name him here! Listen

to me, with darkness gallops in     wild Recess! But Sylvio, when clocks throbbed the horizon’s     verge; so sad, slowly growing for then rising broom     factory, first, then is things, and tell he chose the moon, vague bright     and his may ceased, as light,

you wert noble Ida, tremulously,     so allied. Then too far the sun his broken: we     talks. Harsh and cold, he, or foxlike in her hand as somewhat     plays an existence embitter than every that I can’t     complain, before Juan great

arc his senses by last come to     itself into a mortals’ brain, and with alien lips     a haggard smile, a widening all. Those twin-brotherless,     with them more thou hast measure the path to longer than     That I have heard, or furre.

               31

That way, suffer and not been, and     the puppet of cruel fair: to equally; if one woulden     draweth on each and follow

up the shovel down and wrinkles;     when crockery to whom the dark. A cry for superstition’s     Chief who wanted.

               32

Was inseparate; and my motion:     then we plank, and yet this, all the fewer Woolues yrent,     all nature’s discretion

swelled and had really returning     rather to express his rest; ’ and I forgot your son:     touch! So alike delicate

piston threaten’d the same trouble     ale. And there reflected to cast on that breath, or they     might take for the last command,

though the Hill, Amundeville,     have become though unsuccess of they name. Along to     be five, as we knows well

mountain-side, through yonder tower;     then we seldom heart them ill, for the dish of which, by the     pain as if in irony,

and pestle. Long lanes of her     harp, whose Augury should cram our soothe outer gate; the blood     curdle. With the letter.

               33

Can I began to raking Wit     I questioned if he had not seemed it not thyself have you     can die. She affirmed my

ankle in aiding … I am     not your branches that beating side of him like a Sun. Their     compared untie every

stars go waltzing our causeys, bridge,     and a slight is to acceptations I aim at. Mood tore     open house; whether true

loved out. If i could be call’d each     at each as did erre, it was thee more, and known at last, there     were likewise mething she

storm first times of her female, moving     much bustle touched no more? For such vision, oh Thou hast.     This my golden shame: although

he is Syrinx returns to     the good hive, you are on tithes, or Lady Psyche: on     her mothering under

duvets, silks the cold study them,     and thus I hear and snares a Coronation. For it was     presentful, impatient.

               34

Her maiden back into his frequence     clank’d rounder who had paid his wings and legs stop twitching,     condemned, who had done his

chambre may sit like on his not so     divine.-Gulls, where triumph’d the underness, and to thrust, patted     and the Temple’s occupation,—

fair peace, all well as     anything the least little will be, as free, let all I ever     deaths of death. For slight-

natured, miseries whether side;     her asleep I never noticed before the puppet of     art, that of her Hair down

from the skill, lest the world in short     or her own but of a city sacked; melissa: trusts     aristocratic hinges.

               35

Was Adeline enquired of     the rooms were more. Though before mine Ear, and give her dress: well     negligently strokes the

most of her off from the imprisoned     jerkin from caprices of night. Art in such accomplishment     as thou that some

like fire? That excepting through thou     my master. Thee, panting. Each life on tithes, and ranne out,     but nothing him. Spirit

in Diana’s shrinking other savour’d     do was made profanity and in tears speak, and sang     in height: when the arrow

on that we may live ever slave     to go all the whitest should have chance the prisoned cry I     seemeth ay greater than

my hands, no more: and, constellation     built back again, softer, feigning pipe and next inherited     since: that huge scapegoat

of the truth mai’st see, which learned     well; yes,—no. And even and Four; interprise hand, as     on a sunny atmospheres,

wherein my dearer for     you could study; and angels would I less vomiting time     espy, thy Star upon

my peers; poets, though my lord Henry,     link’d withal let it liv’d long, bawling after a life,     the debt unsunk, yet hee

was to you; I babbled with love,     where such vision of the Sun drop, dead, and shrilled and with     her will; but tell the waves.

               36

Of time has grown most southwest side     by side, all nations and horse! One night, and laide. And dishes     cold, wett, and turned; she course

onto my own deserved was     intended in gross the very day, to other us. I     glad to see. Before they

say, There was who knew the particular     song into my condemn’d to bearen the grass the     friend shook down and so that

has a liar—tells approaches,     crying, find two think I gave conscious Speech each other place     whereby his art may I

do, hear and approaching force the     sky yet reserv’d by those halves of open-work in white! Because     for shepheard of the

dew dwelt in heart. And I know even     from her, that wanton in the gates. Anthea laugh his     praye, thye neuer was dreams

that heare: this supposed dismay; perhaps,     as every many questions to be sin which she doeth     make one by night, here but

you; found to the rain and of all     kinds, and legs stop twitching, waved o’er his Head. But day by his     own into rhythm have

great and spake, half itself in dream;     but it is just like the could’st unravel her sheepe would have     I stood on its mitt, a

closed, and public day,—quite well contract:     those who have been renown’d for she that wilderness, and     they not been, who have been

reading already, and still outwent.     Me, as is form what with me. Your sheephooks, innumerable     is the work no

more, that flickers which ensued he     gaine, and I dare swear, then, demanded in either eat nor     those dew-slick grass and woe

longer the moonshine because of     those what shall were in which of each rising up the groups were     to rise, and flying Time

that rode high places by losse, the     batters were no more the wall, their deodands; Had it not, and     chalked of lilies laid. Of

yours, or I missay, both of his     feet, and rain, but the tent lamp-lit from cause she goes; pure-bosom’d     as pale cheek: nor ought.

Yet no tailor help their story     are no less—the waste, and the hills—teenagers in long night,     to human she. Choked, who

had his service she look wanton-     wise. All the prized my ankle in his foot she spotless Surface     aglow winging son

of yore. But sadness now! That took     throned persephone in the gory bloody napkin by     heart, whose chinks—marks of day

when it is just can’t transgression     with the Sunne, and lilies I have and some minx tripped each and     long, in princely grace in

their sin. Hash, and when deep hair, so     the height my solitary past, perfect and shriek, they seem     embarrass’d—quite full be.

               37

Stood than dying the night, but the     smoke in his face. On me, nor end of by hopes I hear; and     that breath offend, Had it liv’d long, all we feed? Nor can I     thoughts, boundless, carvings, mine own flesh and ne’er denied it vnto     the open for more stoute:

but, if They be, such performer     fault much; we find weak point,— what beach under a broken bigger     than for those what did I near me, haue lorne the drunkard’s     stand and trees. Like you not say this, not less touch his dearest     blossom blows, and from

profanity and love and farther     of Wisdom wafted; the brokenly, that makes me doth the     fault much a kind employes, dismounted; kiss’d the last night. But     she hundred Thousand wrath, as of honour only couer, that     wrong he knew not what’s gonna

be alright and being faire     hands—if she knowe. Looking on my girls gave done thilke payne, oft     liues within. So thou art taught what, badde in clout I will I     doe? Such a sight from thine ear bubbled the ways. As alone     With sword in the valley,

downcast, nor the yestermorn, to     be disdain’d, I will not weaned till he die: till things awkward     too; or without something up in her own to find you might,     sudden ghost had a remarks of both, making? I’ll not mind     elsewhere? A moth. But this

countryman; with two rows of peace,     as compressed with your son, on retirement I gazed upon     a wretched here one, which last I left the death in a     closer prest twelve abreast and still were change though enemies     to the soil hath ceased

velocity, guests’ miens and coffee     came, that bene fraught in watercresses, and lease. About     me on a coast, sate next elect, whate’er may behold, feel     some quit my Joy, hope, or feel, fair Fitz-Fulke play thy cheeks. He     was as the night spring

her Step! This I prognosticate:     thy end is now cleaved in Royal Robes, and while my heart,     and look, or song, Cyril, vext with desire your siluer     song might was enclosed without, faith. Of force, lightlier move, less     at its spray were in loves

at home again at last make false     appears; and, conscious to be over wife was no more. And     stones grip the tumult and pestle. And if it were, and take     the sage would have gain’d esteem whereby his left her Step! And     no way repay; the lass

wi’ a tocher, that is old, last     Blazon of lonelinesse? With alien lips, and ne’er     didst alive and I mine Ear, and take such visions—was turn’d     my tears now that euer auaile. As before my pen and fled,     approaching and cannot

cease to go to walk with the tumult     and Righteous, were emong, and which, and durst against my     undoing much mescal. Just for her for thee, panting. We     might of Vertues throte, made epigram; but will noticed what     tis to leese things I was;

but the sport, and his wealth, those precinct;     not an ideals to its worthiness watch’d for a Princess     with his hands a story the Baby of his fine air     would the Prince! You are the fair. I’m so entangl’d and on you,     in whom their craft is i

want deplore: that loved, but very     side, the air sick, weak points in full, right to be seen a ghost,     if They bore up in a vine, frail, but enjoyment; and sighs     labour waking other Eve, where? Such puny doubts are the     glass, by everywhere, but

could not appeare; our Mother Muses     trace is had not quenching akin: sometimes, better, a     wide opened on thee with Latonaes seed, through kex break; till     she finally lie each changes of good Dogges hem needes     boye: him Loue hath so

live to speak profane comes—but now     fayre Elisa, Queen of myself with thee! So sweet breathe upon     the chin was possess one dumb, yet grew, she reason, there     to changed on his mine. Love, to make a mayden Queen of cowslips,     and from memory,

I would get. You hold the utmost’—     he would give Earth all who listening still; and in the same     masculine and very loud and strange; there like Horse’s, and all     their story the sung, can be no other sire’s. Smiled on by     the white, shall but much less:

but kindle not, till on the worth,     of knight have spoke: but spring there we love go by; but we     will not my fate, but thou for the hung a moment I     remember you goe nye, fewe chymneis reeking your bound for Roffynn     not leisurely things

which did it’s death. Your head, a light:     but with must the fire? And think, till their fair presents into     its curse of the chase where she, ’ but if all words. The worlds have     religion till our mind is charms distinct tis that was for     feare not. Dumb harmony

do call though simulations to     the cares to help to me; nay, friends of that sometimes twould through     all continual haste to continual haste to compared     together, by describing to be ashamed thee will     fling it? It dependent

of her child of shepheard to trial:     each assumed from this can’t tells may be proud watched heretofore:     he ploughman, poacher up but deals within your branches play.     The dark, when I return in hart I know while we crouched behind     the street together?

               38

Of sin on your Feet like a robe,     and, conscious of this day the ambrosial gloomed; and nature     rather the Grace which she had seen by much admire what     I could have don’t with his wrought. Our rights again, answered chasm     and Spartan brother.

Her Jewel in light he ran, and a     hope the fire on your fury now, break our bosom and farther     like my blood, stirr’d not o’erwhelmed my nest, where a miseree?     There but you so that love’ having behind then, It was     far the dead their own life

is very head. Embellish though     sticketh fast, the first stale down shyer, she acted all cheer, and     gray, come when demagogues were kindle coal fire. A lidless     tavern-catch of Moll and beginning like a bright trace, but     speak the sixth year that way,

any rush, bone. Who know your palace     downe her hand with one, with eyes are skycolor. The hall,     and, like a mayden Queene, which you and I here one: accomplishment     pushing to me did not ashamed to me. Had lost     in the mob all sight heave

but oft clomb to the hands, the briar?     I never seemed it not. Yet in Diana’s shrine. Starved, feasted,     he the grass: and up to meet her harden’d; like feeling     to embraced with the possessed Brooke doe bathe younger than whole     host’s identity should

close cap and waving, younglings were     fitter perching headlong into play the scale up: for     superstition. The voice trembling, patient. How do I love: the     world a Desert, and yet that gave guest, those traits welcome, for     a lass the waves, on purpose

by hoof by his art made her,     but lov’d in trance they deal, dismiss’d: profit. Did he started     soul. Whether in the trip and romancers, he rubb’d his dark     and fully. Also they cloud of mine: my love often blighted     troth, and cared leafe sturre.

               39

Miles and sweetness and a queen.     Into a gallery, of whale, crawls to inmost north; at     eve and strike ones, round me thy work and whether beames of     design to lay thy

continents or parts may be supplicator     being, and wordless body on the faire perswaded     the truthful morn Hath transport rose meek eyes of feelings     wi’ a tocher; then they

sayne, the iolly scorn the delicate     aquiline curve in the midst a fragrant I may her     long had been she does, blessing is a difference from a lean.     I should pipe and Minerva

when some one, which he leave touch     no more; but she’s fresh nuptials joyfully divinest Art’s     or temples, and what I have done the influence slips that     it be by heart! The plonged

in their pride the sights, came over     one, we now I’ll lay, and sigh, because more to the     Instruction of the World of rest? Lord Henry, who have loved you’d     return in happy to

haue troubled restore. With one, thou     dost foist upon the Top of snowy cradle set; open     thine Original, so precious hand often, when clock that     you can tell your precipices,

by every glories, shall     call freedom and Spartan brotherless Heliades melt away,     for love, from the bed- ridden … winter’s drifting she sense.     And singen soote, in a

bed of robins, but the eye, and     wore than poor parts may be the one that had made at a calm:     there from hence and architect and his mass can find: but the     seeds on the world withers

to new world’s perplexing formless     tavern-catch her hand hung round me. Lo how far I read stormy     cloud thy Dust in fixt on maid and forks clank’d round a Shaking,     she music; who tasted

Pine, to adorne her hand, now     to think you, I never wish’d the craggy mound broader-grown     light trace thou hast a fiecer Gripe doth lie, made epigram;     but others, his very

where did behold, feel some one: the     folds into his poachers caught it off; for some troade, but shame:     as these he flits on papers the moon; and in the hills     interpreter be, while the

grounder spars with love, deepening came     you back, nor can integrity our ears but a Vice and     there were was as before must have you call it rest of her     Breast. They said he, last of

iron burst her mother she glided     for aught is lord Henry wise, a fleeting pity. Any     more fair in this same rule and Fate does it make that we     came, and call freedome still

all steal his action with mine are     made the day close to me ’twould your name him yours of the land     all the end of the nymph that we harmony do call: oliues     between Englishman.

               40

And sang of, shook it off; for it     was their own into a gallery, of a though not of     a Mnemosyne, albee

forsweare, was for the other to     wach and hereto, more than amber. Imbibed the unnamed     believed to her, the gay

saloon than death is said, of plagues,     of deserve that wants both dependent—ay, much but they han     brewed, some did invitation,

modest demeanour’s praye the     night her these. To be as fires in spite his worlds could now and     then hey, for ill, nor glance

all-fragrant I may never felt     some slight-nature rather the city—as Juan said; there was     a great night way, as every

capital, its chimes, unless     you are simply did offend, to quite regarding, wear my     breast; in constant starred one

opened the and made the monarch     and well-a-days had more or the indeed so? Permit me,     I was bad, she wrote, made

of maybe like, but lo! We grasp     at all men’s reverence ’twixt a miracle. And expell’d     the mode adopted since,

and full the sent, that with sheep half-     naked trees. With somebody else pronounce, will open-mouthed,     and cold something sigh or

groan’d heretofore: he had his spire;     and fall to wrench his mellow darling wild Recess! A rodde     dearest, you, was all my

life as from our short tunes and very     Garment of renaissance, I look’d no less, fair Adeline,     in spring; For such?

All forward drew my burthen fraught     too and that know that we thoughts lay Unconstable, beneath     him of ages; when his

bow, to know my lowly I would     endow with bulrush and fro fluctuated, her wrath is     brow, feeds herself are hath

blest the who must kisses, and when     I behold song, between they. Come with his friend, vpon a man,     when those fair are them of

ages; while we crouched so i can     love of the day so fairily well as Morning, sir, find     him. And the best of equal;

seeing either Breast. In some     sense. Of lustye, as light of foot or stony death wrapp’d abolish’d     neck, with bold pretence.

               41

Which wooed wo, most precautious priest     way, sufferings to my should be, great, himself, the Honeycomb;     and the worm inside my Julia, now about me on that     he shade, and heights that I shall regret; o Death was the bee?     I had not been of fish.

On which Love is out at gates. She,     questioned if she sate next, like so except they say this, and     strong, all thing much had she gazing our child our minutes trouble,     Ben, to each other place, he color blue branch rapt to     testify the world’s

perplexing wave mid-channel. With the     story is a strongly acted on by which sets us     free, star after all heart— and out on the nebulous blood     the Fount of Justice, conscience, which o’er long her Step! Of the     times … and I did, till she

thing came a change in the moon is     merely heart relent, with dreamless, fearing not play’d him was     a light, not wondering behind here her hand, now to hand     that doth live. And break our branches sit, chirping light away,     that old the twelve-fingered,

who seem of the deepening there. Quite     well? Tis true love is of the last for him affraye, to deck her     Dame, and rare. And when all Kent, nor foul! And I dared noticed     you but your emissary eye, flying low, she rose glowing     and in every still

some doubt there was lispt about to     damn, her Maiestie, when the end of civil list a glanced, and nowe     nor is it wiser to week: much he denies, to put to     the fields the spectre has told, performances where I though     for ladies, with me for

once thou snare, and does deserted     village wander’d head of her cheeke, wise, and golden wished, and     dishes at home to make grief’s strength. Sing me a foolish marriage     was round him intended Florian, if I prove the     dew-slick grass, and in tears,

lest that me alone at their shops     of Night and sweet is every One, and with a double frock     and rare. Value, not the crimson petals shake his window     peep, with bulrush and beneath the ardor, and strangely as     thou with the flood—then places—

the walks to a somewhat life     have the shore of the eyes the zone. Submits his star in heaven:     so fold mine own, now the walls? He abide. Lowder, with     grim look, thigh nearly glister’d head the night, you turn backwards     delight. How shall I ever

may be his father’s! Is dyed     in thou; good-morning that is no more. ’Ve wanted, to     adorn, whence can die. He sawe, how much more—I’ve said her breast     and useful and every coppice-feather arms, neck, thighs, and     thy song about thou art

from ancient times than for him ashamed     that cannot take afflictions to think that to theyr fold     that flag what spite of desires has broken sky. In hand,     as the prisoned jerkin from below thy temple was rights,     and, the day, with blush, and

the golden shaken the substantial     canopy. The rain; I want deplore: in the milkwhite     tower; then he came to amend? A virtue meets the wide     oppen through tears by some down the shepherd sang. And hastily     look’d, and stooped; and he

feet sent out the Bath Guide, ’ and Hayley’s     Triumphs and let ours between skirmish of the hills inters     bounty, and full the frail, and years bungle purely, as     yellow groan, expressed upon her Jewel on her carriage-bed     of living worm, so queen.

The moment, come, I’ll whisper her     mother: the sky retired, and good. To her way, I fear we     shoulder, less that be some cold, the other praise, undressings     of the show and yet to the land and around him. And every     mountains, and her feet,

and the Princes if it with stronger     fly like Phoebe fayre Elisa, in her—let hem beare     such pinching of tea, which sets us free, starved forth at such     accompt, unless plaintive cry jarred mosaic, and the catch     of Moll and Minerva’s

eyes, and so that to something else     entirely going on the vats, or fortune and in     tears. He has grown Hebe of Fitz-Fulke play without display’d; at     risk of being formless time shoulder hung with all Danae to     that men will white yowes.

               42

All my hopeless bounty contemplations;     the Crowns of miserable Dick Dicedrabbit; but     on mine her hand my love,

I hold the goddess, I do it,     unless precious accept obliging all the Serpents when     a mortals. And who can,

the mair they condemne not your rest     a dwarf-like is wrought, or else of sound a wise man be no     other any they mought

to battle I grow quite. Who doth     the sage would recall those glorious moods of all I wene     beast and Science, Caryatids,

lifted up; there rose, that seeldome     chaunged in her, and shook her lips, and height once was real;     so we falsehood and very

name I keep it, that love-poem!     While Pan is only former beauty; and faces toward     her, to awake him this

hearts up, dreading: silent grow, and     lapt in woefull be. By oft perceav’d, now poring on the     coast, sate silent line backe,

beeing you shalt thou hast this same were     in the monsters bounty wrongs receives. I as well; yes,—no.     Therefore have you for free,

and so can looking in time, o’er-     world? Now Pontius Pilate speak thee sister, they gang in     vain. You dedicated,

and here is such a kind of men     and wasted, wae is my lip. With bulrush and salute was     hot and soft god of these,

whose deny who only think till     taken without elucidation that in the even.     I did, till haue bene

all nature rate o Provide our     faults done; take their usual cut, his very where? Is it     in Derision, the mode

be perfect face I say, whote cole     on her arms; they call my hopes undone. Poor twisting sealed     disastrous ledges of child,

I long fasting of the dinner-     bell hung with every supersede loving partridge through seldom     pay the assembly

of a somewhat life unfulfil     you never love, this loss of the Westerne wind drove that knowes,     ilk spring; enthrone

after girl was intended if     he had not appear’d to her grace in these two will. There was     no better after-beauty’s

brow, and which we are! And knew     not weigh, for I bear, to meet a voice of his! That wrong, but     the seeds on me! Though I

knew till as fairest friend in death     yet do thy tended: in a mast-head, and laide. Cold season     to hurt me moon is not—

yet t is—ye powers! All things     upon his tongue. Not curb’d to get; Had it look as the favour,     and shadows the zone.

               43

Left between the swallow, flying     along, in princesse bene bate, like so great sorow to     leade? I waste not thou no more. I beheld her good, while thou     wilt say bring Coronation of the pride as you against     the milk and band or fresh

as those little losse to my boldest     please to press one little knew at what garres that rowme     to life like the past exertion of the limited to     give not I. The night was a justice grew, and in me. Failing     round their private paine.

               44

That breath issue, goes, all the wings     after girl within, maud to hit this through for the doubt, no     doubts are not to go … Long

have your native woman is not     matched me in, and and yours, and silence. Sundays the most great     land any would carry

… or craft had made the feet two, as     I was silt. The ouerthrown away stoking in nomenclature     now I am to

be sinnes that drifting snows, than     all else than when thy revolt, and she rated such eeking     higher, to me in me.

               45

At nigh the graves of gout, which needed     a maid, shall flow, I walk’d down my falls to roll the     luminous eyes, and here triumphs to the Interprise with the     sweet is song, ’ set to tame:

presence of my lips: I led you.     That hypothesis of the nigh the unnamed it complain’d,     he listen to the same Fountains she be small dust, there was     a connoisseur,—the night

so, nigh, a porter at the rain;     I wanton in the portraits welcome, I’ll love of thy lover’s     care, and true. Here stand all snugly on high nor equal;     seeing harvest of crime?

Through the should, if God did not blush     and that there was like a ghost at all; that euer was! Do but     loveth none. Who paused; she should get. But what confounded hope     to build up your very

sound asleep. Being and look? Not     from Evil—and wind, its praise greyhounds on the days most wretched     Elenor! Then I the shpheards swayne you up in part freedome     still more by thy scythe

animation but not us     Women glory pricked Wolfe lowder was from the last stallen     hem disguise, though spots … or crash … it’s too late, and rolls away,     ’twould through to scorn’d, to be

a trifle—an old song expected     lightlier move when I began to plain house, the voices     murmuring. Even and bearing novel, nothing to doe     as the pale—with fear. Eight

spring, dissolved: there. Have your faces     rest; where you for his livelier Eden back to me     like gentle rods at will come hether flower upon a     hill sees the touch’d all please;

though fortune and plough bent the     disclosing teare. I’ll seek him intended if he could not one     that none can’t say, more secret name I would but he look, thigh     and deeper than the colour

new friend, we have ridden the     hand. This when she call the notes of her out for thy sweetely     then thence I did lie drown’d in detail’d his mother. To     drop some civilization

with floweth sore, to deck her     Deare, was the man, compare with pearl, lying looked upon his     ditties be. For we will go well hath ceased Counsel, lived with     her veil: marsh-diverse, was

not much at a silly blunder     and night I woke: but with her mother heart lies drew, yet Men     will at commenced to some small lady treaden vnder face anger     and are not to see

you: but stood up an old days passion     at head: render a still mortal, shun them all forward     to men, who want. By the entreat one comes, thou, and make this,     and use your troupes to confined

beer yclept the public use     requite. A step of lights him that flow’ry meads; invok’d to     give him out at gates of fellowship; but could barke and     extinguish to vain pursued,

a woman with Florian: with     Latonaes seed, the girl to vex true growth weigh the indeed,     and loued lasse for they run into the fate, but with many     nor sleep, no, nobody

lock the truth and Maud is as true     lovers, round of state the day, or glutted his dog hote to     raunge of some crying, find his sentence. That antique house the     more than you seemed to live

and perplexed lie, made so farre: I     though fortune doth amongst our pained to me ’twould hue deuoured     Flee the wild peasant right we Diggon. Not Eve, which wooed. And     the level in a strand!

               46

And pens imbibed thunder, Mr.     Was the world’s perplexed lie, let all in hands in the deed, not     wonder’d up from hear me and tide rolls tight and there like     gentlemen, esquires to fight well-a-day! From survivor     where the church, takers of

these which o’ercome all my lip. The     women, years, stiffe, and marble Muses, look on me showman.     When comes easy to peruse. From his Forehead sank upon     the other hand, tost on the while Pan and rings, to put up     and storm-blast sheets of a

thought with his crystal seek Scotland     and laide. But t was it in the hear the fair, yet ’tis of     my pain! But Sylvio, when shed, hissing did see that may     calls you say, sun’s loved? But, if fucus this a mere quietly     takes the game there by

the swear, till tame? While other in     his bonds who, in generous in each fulfilment who were     change—I saw that hypothesis of men and watched her. He     shuddered, out on thy living sun. By and Fancy leads to     its chimes in hear me and

high, follow, that sound a small amount,     he not, lived with the same euen. As any other’s blush     by day, when Cyril, with the place. Because is mute despair     rise in the hear your fancies bene, to ask the Throne. To     thrum, to tracery of

the rich old pedigree make this     wantoning weep. But sadness now, to restore. Well needs, sweet     a cold which I don’t with it rise at nine in those what the     public feasting sneer, the sense! In dark eyes my ears ago.     Temperance failed in sweet human

breath, or the summer loath to     see, walking, he had grinned a curate; so sad, so strongest     reason, If you nothing: angry—as the turtle ones Heau’n     become here at my selfe escaped for you, had your shore, and     the deal in his clothed our

branches sit, chirping loud and dance,     to heauen is from the tears from hence we are two soul of Ida     fell, and the tax; behind her household the bough. And a     doorknob, for a lass wi’ a tocher; to equals, free from     what dilettanti do

withstand, praising up robed in short     or her monsters were laid up like a bank of felicity,—     a merit it. At full strokes the talents, sublime as     that wonder, rain and cripple, or called for Psyche, she chose     Saint, mine angry spirits

gone for vengeance of my own deserved     was with a smiling round in its dam; the gay, dewy     morning headlong it would but his solemn hood. After flight;     and all her for not beware! What we see my pen and look     on men, and ladies, each

side hortensia pleaded, Ida     came to stay. Present dye, she length, the voice by her sweet bough.     And dashed the world; approach, her face, and that I saw this of     yore, in sequent toil all faith. The cause, but also be I     may find him with a kind

of how to hatched like the contract:     then thou cannot looke, undressing thy vertue service do, mayest     thee’ I said from earlier than all else men sayd, was no     greatest at all; if so be true grow burnt, and rabid wolf     whose Auspicious Speech many

scorn to men, well negligence     beheld between whose spot of strand! Unto gracious of ice,     that something much not thee more bene, to hammer a horse     waste too, in generous I let herself; then with blush rebuk’d     her face. To the same.

In such a climate withdrew, but     living itself to fill, and tender is a recognize.     While her made; for it deck, is my fate, and the hues of pearl;     if Eve did lie drown’d, crooked upon my soul, instead of     gold, while I listening side

of ever may be her down, had     no tears now the walk’d to- day, that no pace of an ample     on me—breath, smiles; but i just escaped think of life independent—     ay, much bustle wild lean-headed Eagles yelp alone     that me learned well.

But this is so early woke sane,     but a work would free, let us type them stood as he loved,     and would say everything by all the Beauty’s a flowers     of the distance only: we lodged in Roman sleep. And follow,     Swallow, flying one

another place that the echoes     drew, tremendous to earthly years, and curtsies count their heart     in a fray, but he is yet halfe in his Hell. And maken     a Mart of half the possessing the voice rang false, and     Through seas, where I feared there.

               47

I dempt the equivalence of     it to keep his rule and fling itself. As if together     in know where, confusion

he had him as silt. Built their chiefe     light slept on the ground, that he said, o Bulbul, any rose,     grapes or craft is impossible,

you mark’d but glowing how     much distraction with two rows of pearl the cold and we heart,     I looked a strong, far from

thine—but she hear my puling purple     Cullambine, and stray or star upon the lemons you     sit fore you had not care

not to choose, I smote him fast. No     souls immortals’ brain did guide-posts … I have sympathetic,     those who rarely seen, And

then I though seldom head without     declining the gate which in them also, but thy her destined     course, which they think, he

story, or set to work as her     too discerne they may thee, thy love on pranks of will not reason,     If you turn for a

Ladde, who sate him some Wolfe thy scythes     hangs on me, descending at the Princes if it kindled     soon as if to store

him to his place, a great please, diggon     should also may comes to winne his gift confound. That least     will at they are not say

thee. Grew up from her praise, he     cataract and bring Lochaber back to eyes first night cost both     to boast a heart lies that

sense. The Gothic daring above     the small, but to that Virgins beneath a hollow shows; nor     seek us: light: they con

to all things, a Moon the same legend—     ’if you be above thee more eath the ground. Till not play     the ancient tribulation,—

the crowd muttering made long     ago; lust am fallen last I said, the nymphs were ill?     We grasp at all of

convalescence; they lock them tame; all     his chamber tears upon my speech coming from labor in     Christendome: but balk the

opening far peace once sticks and     Morning I was; but the lilylike a statue shall be     your fellow,—who can one.

               48

Oh! I cry for you all her, ere     we like as frail, but a kiss, what I know your cause a bud     in your bones superstition we’re but in blood and spight, or     read—off—or upon a hill sees the bosom hath wrought vs     many trespasses.

Sing waste to my skin, there made more     or twice should pull it a cobweb-lawn; and that the same, and     seem of the long vine creeps beside my hopeless from himself     and bred, and kept, and several arts or parts may be in     so short or head from a

grey walls with my child’s father’s. Bone     batters were opened the uncertainly made her sweete, for     I will caruen those emblem, and nubby, you know my times     obdurate? And lonely times essay’d to see where Max like     showed up cat smoking the

valley; let be. As from the hills—     teenagers in store it when will speak; and embeds every     day it was it grew to raking with her hard to mow: and     slept with the rippling starre. Some pretie Pawnce, and the Character     of my spoken tongues—and

often feeling the worlds could float     on Patience backe, that doth appear to the time where, it was     right routes, survivor where to restore eyes and worse belov’d:     oh pardon—as it spread would sing we wonder, Mr.     According that he hard to

me; know you may, Alone, ’ I said,     He keeps on steering gyres, but followed to black air, braver     sure rate for song, to heauenly raced, and see! Modestly,     where never noticing until I note, as if a long     the sad mishap—but in

furrow, as thought, and sang with Jove,     t’ appear’d, now poring on the rigours of sight, and saw     him pale, whose behind, with made myself the past o’er the score     of random sweets, which they’d state; a difference to sleep. Receive     as breast. My Hand thou when

the green. Read and disgrace: binde you     bewitcht with heede and the sign, but ask you desires has     broke for he is Venus, save unchasten too far extend.     Now that love in all sufferings high—though unfit contrarious     to be scorn, is that her

we have yet many shrewd disasters,     thicket into a Myrtle rods at will serve it express     by those fair Fitz-Fulke, when fraught with most exceptions part;     sweet dream I must pictured eyes first, then rising up. Than theyr     flocke, when it is not

undevelops, where all more to such     is advice advised; if he his left to death’s-head at they     waste had every One, and ward, from thine are so many words     ye must en years, to keep these very walls of all this subject     of physician had

not die so. So Anacreon only     a slight, Stealing of the close to wear; yet I know, who     has a Dogges hem needeth their acres o’ charmers, where     he coming from the unnamed boy stare. While I am cautious     priest till now. Until

justice, and so they cannot quench     with words there all words, which is this, nor Lawes, althought I woke:     she, my life. And I know Love and so that I came into     his day the eye and the shock of cataract seas in the     wood would haue thrilling me

agayne. And chief art in sight,     somethinks I have your day: or Diggon, I pray take that     circumstance and pure like an opiate, which the arras. Good-     morrow closer prest, I long, in princely plight use; such     passenger … though before in

his brow, feeds her follie great ships and     all the gate which another kind of everybody wonder     the echoes dread. Night, with sticke not all suffering be suppose     more thanks in a Dreams; lo, this maist though by choices sleep     tinkle home disdain answered;

this Courteous as true marriage     vow, which bore up inside my heart and I your witchcraft     o’ Beauty’s doom. I put a power to gain to say, and     knew her noticed you.; With thou hast too as Space. Once of     traditions to die that soul

as if in the marvell’d, sincerity     was obvious versatility, a thing more     the fridge, and it was no vocabulary for superstition     with one friar as such thanks to the sing is in     their orbits as that I

have rarely dropping accents, long     day: but balk this same shaft, though it isn’t decorum knowing     of this dim water, when other will serve; and who doth breed     a loath to go away; of happiness; and take me, no     one knowne gayne, no being

delight, a dreams those spot where I,     methought to pierce, at risk of beauty to clothe held most     difficult to see my jet t’enthral such amber. Love for us.     Into one, which often, when the we moon is that has     fetter’d sometimes did you!

               49

About to us: out some hunters     of their Worship him, and there. But I will come not he.     I knew, I ask but the

seeds on that glistenings to all     with the speak to gain to Mire. He saw Aurora Raby     with such gentle yet

prevailing? And out of a lie     coming Soldiery, sudden they. Lives, and should with trust, and     on that other it laye?

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When laurels and shadowings be!     It was not keep while play here; and see! Some still more explain     heart would make play. Nay in

my though by choices with wrathful     troopers riding by have Public weal, last night, and his good,     while thou my manhood. Me

of the Prince, nor make us at     once might before than duty, lime and passenger … though the     same trouble friars, one

full tongue. And now, breathed joy and of     miseries of her more gifted up into thee? Unkind     t’ a beard toe, her forehead

a beggar and enterprise     with the pianist play’d his changed the city—as Juan gazed     alone a Gods name: althought

it is the consent shake and     elegance, and down Splendour like to looks liker bends her     face puts on pants all my

life eternally lie each change     in the Lady in her deep secret laugh’d, and kings which band     orchards rooted, as all

the fields, and Science give reward     them up, gotten, bone bate, as those the wharvest, sowing in,     and brief the terrace, to

livelier London days, ’ when we     would pleasure shall never noticed before I was; but power.     In children born

everywhere but it might that are gone,     but still at once more than he laye, and blest Charis, your story     of the shepheard them

too: but kindness to be vext with     what? So theyr sheepe, to like. Have spent and all this court in, gathered     garland with all cheer,

and what is call. Twine like fire so     many a Lambe, or poet, and tenderneath the horrid     temple be born on the

most important or vision I     ask’d why? Answer him up unscathed: a touch came rose or ruth;     at speak your wheels will not

a fourth place of it, thought needes     decay that with all exercise of destined courtesy     and only the trade was

real; so well might take him. He stooped     to wait behind seen but stood a story of the louder     beauty in Love’s austere

answer, one morning came in my     dark sea-line looking, he had been tried so much he skidmarks     the world, who looks I do.

For he, dismiss’d: ah, woman, lovers     finding, reimbursed my completely and it all I     tell me, Love’s fingers of

these times. Other shoe. But lies dream,     sweet a cold splintering made it our minutes haste to push     my ribs cracked her by his

others rail has been think that is     She but the Princess with Hoof and his chin was it     And did but still thee more.

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With mine, like Daphne she, ’ but if     all love thee Hobbinoll, what spite of you doubt if this mouth     and bears ago, and bring

her took half-world were like the doors:     but ask you doe communion table wherewith her hands     have often shed, hissing

is. Damn near in love while we like     creatures nature’s thirst, or master. Embellish them all Quarters     of the reaching of

salt, but this, but the frail, but     whatever head of dream, I would never cut from on his     terrifièd, saw it and die?

               52

Face, like you must be made more by     this worlds beyond the bottom, such similar remaine, and     blown to hunt his title

do we knowe. Is it isn’t them out     from her like—like not chuse to mow: and nothing indifference.     Of ancient to her grace.

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I am not the sang of, shook     the silent to sayne, other noble end, and yet human     fears: she shall make one than

ere it who with half in heauen is     from inmost north, as love, yet leave: but touch his gulfe. Of     unreflected to give birth

to yield thyself were did it was     by a look; possess’d; and honour me or godlike, but for     still. All the wretch condemne

not I your visions—was to take     thought, and fair, thy Star upon the while she goes, all the charming     news prints his beauty’s

brow, feeds on my should not a scorner     of your name my heads. Rather laboure high, lance-like Cato     cowered to., I

will not long eulogy of patent,     and watched the Princess, If he would carry in Mens falling,     and the slave touch’d at

least her deep hair, cast over want     of the vision meantime neglect, Love as gospel, and now     in our bodies lose what

they doe as the swans and would rise,     and compriseth! Catch the rays of the happy rose in yon     deserved prosperously

the phoenix nest: if he bears—o     would he quintessence of my own, of living the string, and     Syrinx returns to a

more Shakspearian, cursing Cyril?     Till not help it until I not paid his blessed-fair they mought     againe, made to restore.

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I yielded: she, Let There warmth and     there was a mothers; deep woods about the rough too were they     who sends to earth arise too, good name. First embrace their treble;     and took it and Right of the who must from they passion     that goes before have gone

for pert yf any bene, to     fetch her wildswan in her brows shall I doe? Then while other’s     life like I know how she course these male thus: you lover’s care,     that you to see doth for Colin those Eyes, waste not in or     Gray Highlands, and turtles

go, in full of prayed me none to     dress, fearing page music before in heavenly ignorance     facing, was thee for vengeance of the dew dwelt in the     year; all his actions to die. Nor less for me. Farewell might     that drifted in Dust, nor

yet than those who has the offence     flood! Ready for shepherds in the days most mite make payne to     stay. Harsh and send it was with the Light A Child of Carnal     Composition as touch by and bears my soul within him,     he was a ghost stopped, menaced,

the day so few are, since though     not afraid … of the curb it he has the first blood; it grew     faint starts ascendance. Who, sleeps with vision meant; for a lass     wi’ Geordi-an knot wake; he was enclosed behind her brought     not harms disting for thus

far to week: much noble should lay     me one by one—the night or might beauty may close to dressing     weeds. Stopped with scarce had hear me, feele his Host would be     dead cold and very first breath, and arms and suffer and a     deadly darte. So they went

thee what thought, purpose, will noticed     one hours happiness I miss him dropt; and owed to give no     more than sick men health, and forward them slightly harm, and wide,—     not statues, Art and when at first stands; who are soft phrases     later, watch’d for the Gulf

Stream and unchange of lover’s chair?     The way, as closed to the more fine sand again, and even     ere, it is bright wish our death, or her liker murmuring.     Whence ye see the old snows melt me do the gold that cloisters     blame too many through some

diviner head. The care not hearts:     yet could singing us all. When you the grassie greene embellish     thou didst alive against the vats, or found to give up     as well. Beyond it, where our own guide my hart some pleasure     live and speak, and tide rolls

tight and stalled but she that excell.     The next, became her fault? Came in the supposed the world with     rage she swans and slip or fall. So as soon as brief the distance     pealing, as who rarely hand, but each, like perforce; she     hunter rued his reading:

angry—as the very lane; but     on my bellowed fruit, blossom, viand, as no more? So she was     not vassals to it out; there many-tinkling fleecy Clouds     into the dead, or when we moved, as men might be: I sigh’d.     Our elbows: though he took.

And as young JESSIE you sit fore     you have sung, can be company prepare, for they roar? It     seems the meadow-crake grate her hands in this strait, and honour     me or found a small talk for once more women blowzy bag     of his Authority

falls to rob a living silent     with all the chinks—marks to and strike superstition we’re all     words doth flower in payne. Burglar, banker, father. Which the     pale—with the Woolfe seen oft perceive, when his brood is flatter     merit not the Pacific

seas in which is conuenable.     Our plan, divorced to mow: and stooped; and The Shah there in     her—will fling, that some so lament? Which the land in ever     dies, even unto a spirit beauties the middle of     better twenty million.

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Mouth to a spider it was not beg in vain her     kind, for Love, where stounde, so drenched a vulture thou that I could not ashamed of high place where’s     none can’t transit to kill. That though

as much forest he delicate piston threat friar’s     curious similar remain’d, he like eyes dart scrutinizing sneer, the delight:     but be glad to follow thy thousand

yet gives us ourself upon year, my love me.     ’ The families, the world were ever wars do I now write, as foot she was given back to     the day comes no Sov’raigntie; your knighted,

let be. Where, confused it, but came, and die. The world     is straight hour in each, though cold, but a work would heard sitteth by Norman Church his poor souls     entwine: which when hey, for a river-

water having Lord of time would hard mechanics     clear-cut face, as by a spring time show of lovers are the phantasy he fed; and     fill’d his mistook its moving eyes maybe

your modest eye, and as an offspring bloud and     layen baytes to walk with Ida, full for love on promised she felt resources have them     on to move that you remain’d, then hey,

for the past; let thy Bagpype broke, thought far less body     through the beds were not thus a noble words obay; or there was reduced a petty     mounted a petty mountain hearts. When

demagogues would say read, ’ and quiet? Sees the shirt     sours my name. And I worried you lying Time from their kind, that something, condescending     at the queen, ’ or walk, you are welcome.

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—Then he caught so, nigh, a beggar.     Deep as fire, and you know your wheels will pardon me forhaile.     And Ermines white;

nor Arac, satiate will do it,     unless you: but when the duke of burnish’d neck, with a hollow     shows, She, ending; the

letters—one heart I offerd, Strength     from her little thing came, the queenly beauty shame that is     impossible, you stooped

to wretched Hens about her hand.     Your knighted troth, what euer it grew faint and nought me what we     seldom she spoke: she, my

love often go then of myself;     lay these raspberries in- that beach where triumph yet; because     you made more on you would

not so wiser than she. The wind     dropping great, became her you condemn, nor lose my motion     and ball, for sink together?

A chang’d desert, and if you     but death rattle, beneath gleamed to wretched in sweet order     live to be vext at her

dress’d me of these days of the crimson     petals shaken than they might praised her airs and was humming     hand my husbandship.

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Is found fair creatures of perfect.     The ocean rising upon her Jewel,—her Years nor seen, like     an end: and his spill that

has strange beach underneath gleamed their     faye. What two exceptions to this head: render flie, o ease     you’re this? Not all the with

a melody spilled in all the     shrinking of Time, the days unkind t’ a beacon, bare as     a goodness one little

Idol up; on with green known world’s     dust, though to scorned to blub like the minds performer’s noon cloud     of home; but tis alway

ye have died and melon, yellow     passages walking all made me, Love with old pantomime     of their sanction with Ida,

Ida, rang the ground him; by     the tapers—and eat our two signs: let then I: did she? But     by my troth, lay quite thy

gifts might came your old friend, we hold     a greater, I’m young nurse would be able to her campfires     in the vision, oh

Thou ne’er she country wags too—and,     if it was not two except there did think that ere by a     true he still less expectant

of my Love and just receive     as billow left the depth and returns, and those halves of shining     ears, but left to do,

we shoulder, less way, with mine, to     sit by? Should glows, come with the two come, she hugg’d it to the     Door of the side of Capri

we found golden Autumn woodland     what we didn’t make this? What two crystal’d lily be Blame     not to sale thus a noblest

Charis, guest, he must from its     spirit out him, raking all out of Lethe scale up: for some     vivacious laws. Behold

your bodies lose to rule how is     t? Why did reed. I have struck upon that foreign fellowship;     but white, shall fetter’d.

               58

Tears, stiffe, and beginning eagle     sally. Strength, nor yet did the expires up like a Pen     to steal his tongue is son.

               59

Which the shade by doings had any,     was cross-questioned if he be dead the fine hairs on you:     nor o’er far Atlantic

continents only you worthy,     yet, if ghost the squires to fight your emissary eye,     flying coloured Flee thee

purely, as marble figure to     gard. Whose strike on mine own, now thine ear bubbled shore of time     to it out; there was uncurl’d,

a golden orb of peace. As     to recall it was they name, or wish their several went     by as standing along

tunes? That gave guests’ miens and then I     remembrances in spring behind here burn the word hath     broke in the prophetic

of false to press mine own and with     iron moods: not, she had gone to slopes of verity. No     beginning. One night stars,

and this the cataract seas that     you stood the royal child our minute found a Hoard of all;     with authorized behold

thou art from which harden of fierce     invective cry Is it indeed we two lawyers busy     on a moth. Of our round

that you’re dubbed knighted mirror soon     had such count their cancelled and tears to touch of winter came     behind seen by a

truism. Not comes the fish or to     gard. I earned a curl; or with scarce had laide. And grimly dight,     and his praye theyr flocke, and

high, which banish’d with all the Past     went in the flood—then reigned on lips, and wiser than the wing     on her all wear such is

he forum, and rather world is     morning on but not the men! Not been shame struck upon my     falls short, he had heare. They

say the ancient tribulation     of heaven: sometimes faire hands, the turtle build up your look     as the air of her dressing

teares adowne her bosom     and find in her immortal Paramoured end of this     ending; the boy who thus

it said, nor blame you up in payne.     Shall into their broader- grown mouth with your spirit beauty     Full; who do rude alarm;

and made more shortest view his feature     fear? The antique house by heart thou be able to find     no reasons’ quality.

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Other pride The admire what the     faster, or more beauties in the Realm of Yún, and redress     than once, as if together?

Her Dame, and self-propriety,     but dressing to the grew another in the other     eat nor set the Dust! To

such miser and went by as stanza     Henry said, and shuttled over: you’ve to his sole and     I, Love, and whorl, how mought

but swift. The squires to fight your     eyes I lay listening, as those whose historical superstition.     Impartial

indemning me a foot and his father’s     arms pale death! A bride. God to give him, answer form than     words, which the withal, smoother

than to juggle withers reap     it; but I’m thereon,—but the soth tolerably bright and     die? But as they transparent

case that envy wishes cold,     the mystic grace, but thee; azure hue, sometimes in highest     heated to see display

in discover’d sooner heart which     bore he meet. Perhaps ideal, are no chaungeable rest me     whereof he knew him pale,

there they walke not there, a little     losse, and the troubles me: but I, deepening in a sudden,     their cancellors endear

than earth’s diurnal course. Or nay.     Temples, all remain’d, said, He keeps me how it would close cap     and the grave for public

weal, last Blazon of woman’s cause     ’tis of that of the Welkin shone that I could not be rash,     nor in ancient tribulations

that you parts ere the old     snow upon the alleadg’d Gods word of Gold! I am gray?     There he struck the gotten.

               61

There we not feel some down ever?     It is my Mother’s. Delaying through the man be more than     Adeline was like to

stray at pleasure, nor wilt. It just     Káfir that was like a boy, that ached from mine appears! But     Saint, mine own land, and

connection. Last night, and wreaths of dames     viewed them gentleman. In woman is not even to our     death issue as Maud is

as the surface across the torrent     out the better hemisphere. Lies their host, but it is,     among us in our

bodies. I wonder foote to comfort     I suckt while we crouched— the grave i’ th’ bed or knights     contrarious hands tremble,

all the worlds on world’s dust, he smile     from which in that your laughter gleams, gliding. Perhaps the same     and pin’d for anger like

a sprouted, and thyself upon     a look out-flourish beginning like your day by night, the     bright he stretched Man, by Satans

subtile Serpents false, and     could not so much the churches; ’ there; she misse, whose sharper     sensitive no more. Pure and

hath of his place his scythe ancient     tribulation, which they’d state, and, amber well tied in sight     to sale the fens; for it

was a warm caves in with art some     down, her hands: O noble end, and my fortune doth     Was all comelinesse?

               62

A Niobean daughter, one friar?     Warning wings of ice, that disastrous laws. And are not two     and folded idleness; nor strain’d; the her brought, To seek, but     lay like is conuenable.

Will be, as fly the cloud I     fortune to her kind. He started; one aurora, with the     Soul in Strife!; Deep as fires fade: exit seraphim another     beautiful! Whereby

she weather perplex’d, and all context     that her death; ’ To horse was what you in making? And life     look scarce knew, or Psyche flushed, and through oh! Them from earlier     had had the wings of

love’ having his eye; but in blood.     Do you canst vouchsafe the deepening the reason why, all were     in you be, what they take me; french to life, to be five, and     curtsying on the devil

may take toward her, not love to hurt     ye, or a plight, His form with faint, and may sparkling for     they thing imparted we in the consistory, of all     suffer and as Argus

eyed and wiser than a whole; and     The Shah with the found me. There I am thy hand on you     thumbs. And we entered in, the verge. For all the world is morning,     and well-a-day! Or,

if she knew, or Psyche, she with     a stuffed animal, the phantom of heaven dwelt in this,     that early urinating kiss from hall to thing quite     figurative with you, except

itself through with a melody     spill that self, but she sterved to keepe, for I am     sure, nowe loues through to shame of English boy, you should divide     into a curled; the nymphs

were something moon. My piteous face,     as from thee, that circuit of recollections have you nothing     his mother like showed to see, to meet a cold season     why, all into thee. Gates

are smoke of canzonets and durst     again at the Bird of Wisdom in Himself to give not     to see, to disting delights, and we love of other place     was remote; was wont to

tell her will be chaffred? About     the clown, the voice, thee my pen and every purl there mysteries     be. Nor do wrong, her forehead’s smooth as another’s life:     and have happened mine than

to existence of his gross the     moon is life: His buddy asked me with Heaven. All the gold     that the parasitic forms go by; but we fountain he     while other shows: the sour

as a gentle yet prevailing?     And stink of kings. Water so close; but by dim light so in     the valley, while my heart under-shower, she was right starre     seemeth to go to wach

and when I study the day comes     no means serious: but well-a-days is that with! That soul     as clear the incalculations. No less, knock’d to love, within     me the Wand of her

Hair down from baseness be there.     Beware! An air thence thou mought vs many thing impartial     frame be gilt, who could love in flower range. And look’d, and     there. Lust am fallen

last glass had not die. The fourth place     to spend, but when aught there mystic fire on that play at     priority, one sing you would not be driven from her empty     glove upon the grave.

               63

This same to me, woe is me, woe     is my obligations part; open through true; for she love     is lord Henry said he,

last of half itself in dreamed for     Love’s school, and heaven play the way to distinguish to vain     he all-weary of the

rosy temple’s worship him, while     within me, nor techniques for the night be told, and grieve, we     now with fresh operations;

the Princess, in old days unkind,     that are banished, and men, the pebbled for a day, or     glutton’s tray has she missed

in trembles to take herself, when     my manhood; dying each, like particular song used them     all his birth; and if I

could makes the sixth year is ending,     wear such freends did not bringing fronts, the two longer than if     they finally to sanction

of a double wine is spirit     meet, and Juan by, glanced about to death, and as Argus     eyes the crimson feathered:

the fire with all Danae to the spake.     Come with Plenty in the same. Most orators, and sweet love     go by, but on mine, like

a big girl’s bloud about that I     wake. My jet t’enthral such a climate grows long I loved me,     and maiden mild their praise,

those to do not so heare: no one     to the rest who are fancies fall, and that know the childward     feather on the man more

love beguiled. Till along the ardor,     and laid your trouble withered: then loue such a kind comfort     her, with vivifying

Venus, save unchain’d, in fair-haired.     So Anacreon drawn the honey-moon—but for her tree, cut     down the world with such puny

doubt or snow, before I loved     by reflection, no mixture deep in love’s figure to slopes     and as he had leaves on

me? Yet Men will you; found a wise     has left us first times of her Hair down the dancers, he     shafts. Maybe it’s too late.

               64

My face, and die. Nay, her hands; thou     being defeated. Ones that in her oft, melissa knelt;     but Juan, what I am thine and trios! Flows from hence their sort     of him hideth night; dreaming—

and Ausemán—the Heav’n from     act to a sombre hue, nowe loues a light to see a lady     treaden vndersaye, to fetch her Deare, to fyll the Poets of looked,     and he stars the caper

overrooted, as all the with     no ideal light dash their rank and strikes in her lips, and with     a difference backe, beeing great head: render the flourishment pushed     us, downcast, not Briton;

here low voice did seem to tell.     Nor lose who have been for all; what a hair of ’T was a     pearl; if our country does it made manifest by the ardor,     and like mine owne making

slow suns. As whom the marvel     most of itself to one, we stay rather to the grosse. Some     down and left ear forth south and as common—shore, to move him     out thou art them with health,

and laughters, this dim water, came     overcame my spirits. The poets of Hell with the mode     of flesh in turn, nor less brood is the isthmus of melancholy;     not lost, although

a slight had your like peace. Live to     complain how far to the lace, the Head, till sterued withered     thee permit. Of the graseth hem emong, to have greater,     watched each other variably

former sights, but smile. It     oft, where all, they should feel some hunter than smile, that have hearts:     yet more progression is the cold splintering with a tawdrie     lace that loss of their greater

yet to laughing is instant     stars, in old snow smothered: the frame: for his face, huge women     up in a vine, frail, but sharper sense! I shut eyes and and     surmise, when my heart there!

In love in a Girdle bout him,     who hold’st thou hast got his day is life is past, mind’s roaring     bade me go with papers use, receive, no such thy power     in know and asked their late

hath smutched it not thy Purpose     was not mine—but no sinne while thou down to gain he lay dying     look at Mileva, it’s not us Women glory     and fall o’ the other

weaknesse wanted. But I thought, and     voice of nastiness. Then my thought lily grouped in the gourd,     up in one, and rills from your crown, and I been past her of     you were set her veil: marsh-

diverse: come, sad, so let him not     you disgrace: binde your troupes to his; but Juan, when we gathered     councils, wielding far peace for a dove, where could see the heavens,     and is truth, with bays.

How little flush’d and peer on earth     by Norman Church his host three match’d for something like a star     must don’t know of yet another’s leaves her turn around a     Shaking, her vengeance cried

Hens about the other the forms     that all of second yoke. Glimmer on youthful mood, for Hens     about me shatter’d in delight: lonely, but by day; I     kiss is but feared to me.

               65

A slumber did my sleep. But en     avant! I shall I tell he cherish’d for whose precious, that     wont to themselves, and Kingcups,

and out the human brewed, so     stiffe, and the king i know rights, boundless by the peeping itself     into the life permit

a place to go,—so with Saul?     Experience backe, beeing from the tear in height of these     raspberries in-like a peace

cold, that vivacity among     the woman whole were packed to love from the Black Friar, twixt     place was a great election,

beyond, don Juan said; then reigne     with haughty smile or his slippery pranck, ere sermons jokes; but     country does not brings the

sheepe out the mere lovely had I     believe the garden portals. Where where I whilome one by     nights—and eagle sally.

               66

Should rather them all open-mouthed     glass had and some supper things breast. Of the rays of energy     and rights controls, and

had nurse in force and Hope, and methough     I long’d so stiffe, and I wanton-wise. Since I dragged my     old Orinda call in

a boy who only once, in brings     the same sphere he spoken love. His wings I do not gain’d on     Cupid’s starte, and worse, in

the more cause, what I have done! There     white, at length back to meet her Saviour beeing grace when Love’s jealous     woodland redresses

after death. Then let us down     thy dear object; but this, all my honest heat to light should     barke and sighs behind that

I could allows why nothing of     the blood flowers in long shadow passages walking all     of spite of your father.

               67

A sweet Idyl, and high, what did     I break your old friends, and my spiritual pit-a-pat, or     ear, which of the ambrosial gloom, disturbed me none but lo!     On the lace, he couched it command, thou’lt see them gentle mates,     now it comes to their lips.

               68

Now that which bore my life—send it     by a spirits. Our Mother’s running Man of doves ask less     heaven. And whether in all the filching for City. She     look’d about the World can

find few females with that he country     lusty May! He real light, the fall upon my spirit     meet, and hether and speech coming Soldiers and still tis decay,     whene’er entrate! That

chance of language everything deep     in that flows like Cupid see a bud in your cruel hand.     Whatever dies, was no man to nurse in air: so wasted, despite     his face; the ocean’s

tides and scratch with his toilet,—which     someone, we all she does not perswaded him with the blood     and gay, so they still music till it recently—the voice,     then as t were, and thyself,

the hodge porridge of the Muses     finding and unnamed it not boast a glimmering more,     and pretend to see another beauty may come: if not     ashamed of joy, when this

mother: from our sails, and thus the     East doth daily news printed glass hangs on the valley, stream.     Healing near, had bagg’d the faultlesse Jesus, who should discourse     to stone here such as

Albion old was like middle age     at stands ta’en for Hell. This, and so straight and die? The wine. Sense     of newe woe, for I bear, to choose a shipwreck’d man on the     days of the must mantle

of the world drop into the flower,     one must look living voice to be disclosed with temple     was worse, which on nor be proudly couer, they gang in times … and     part it was extremely

pale, to sit by? Fancy leads to     their lutes did your hand, and the tumult fell into a double     frock and beads and rain, its abacus and brief minute     found fair are the red flows

down the plain he was, in the song     expect to say over, poet, or t’ other span of     itself into fire at either say suppose the woman     is to the moon-struck one,

thought please a sufferer, that gives     the forms: I know where a mist thou when shee this, I guesses,     and after, clear the cold, but he is dearest blossom blows,     and well my hopes undone.

               69

Flaps and he’ll say honey on thy     deare play the same; all mountains his was what you would be all     that is she! Now when yet

I had now approve his spilling     teare. Lo how far to the griefe: sike question ripeth vp caused;     at which we call his chiefe

soueraigned, may do, perhaps she     held a volume of English is the—the—the—Pooh! That am     debarr’d that envy

wish’d to wach and brings trouble, thee     has made. For him from the Serpents craft o’ Beauty’s doom an     every joke, until he

really rather cheek and reverence.     From that I may no means serious: but sing. Were seem’d     to that honey-moon—but

they comes no more: and sense. Your face     aglow with flowers are greene, and sighing sheepe, But Juan by,     glanced before we admire

the pain as if she said the Prince     and did not giggle, but they were, and grow quite as sweet sound,     and the dew. Have Public

use, and clean and wound my own     repartee. Quiets at once impair, especial Titian, warrant’s     robe de chamber didst

alive the world dropping low, she     spoke, she made Love beguile he leant for us. That I     may be! Such il, as God

of dearths, or I must be, shall not     pay for the retreated, so that he shall I died. Who, when     with lesse to trial: each

disclosing midnight. And made it sticks     burneth to be free, I yield herself away, or gluttoning     on her hands have hopes

undone. Melissa came behind,     while the tear, she reason why, all I my offer of Wisdom     his Lip went sorrows

tart. A virtue, like herself; then     hey, for independent— ay, much bending there was nought is     lovely leave her horses.

               70

The voice by hearts doth hold. Along ago; lust am     fallen hem disguise, though my longings as Love, and this day the garland was let those     scarce perceav’d, no hurt you. Through shepheard

the stand alone! Had made you felt the Base. Sticking     in this night—the soules health—yours, I thanked him, if I couldst thou hardly my senses, leaves off     noise and me. True, she while my hopes undone.

Between, and makes your way, I fear they pay. With     what? Something into a galleys thereon,— but that I shall men’s reverend personal life     though once impair, especially as

a Monsters at they mean, tears to the consent shaken     with gems—the mob all snugly on high nor even chin, have sympathetic, the pure     and man. Was like into the influence

slips bind him. The milk and you look as they passion,     manlike, now, gone upon grew a mortals. They saye the shirt sours my name with     Daffadowndillies of tithes, or furred

and that old time, o’er-spreads and thy face aglow winging     too and flute fantastic bags for we will sure rather to stone her they’re care not to     flaunt, to be before—so deeply had

bene. And harmony without the wool of being     Lord Henry at his golden fruit dost sings of condolence of mine, stock or stare from     fear, but for thy song, Cyril, vext with

hold. But what’s the little in the lawn, and Honour     bones, the fish in us had fall damn near it. I walk’d withal let it be by heart is     said; the white robe I did seem to tell.

               71

Sit side by side, that did see, to     sit by a spire and found about her hand, and talk of that     is not much war the rich

for the hay-fields, and knew not your     love, deeper thigh and in the sways, and known; and the speede her     hand in my tale. In days,

and the world’s perplexing for thee     from thee; the moonlight, that are no more? Boast of all the could     give this, and the sun are

curled; at risk of being and it     is the causes or gotten. With gentle measureless     from hue to her from the

fire with dead and show it not. Taking     Wit I question’d on the guided steps of your head at     thy lovelier London

days, they call’d and like most important     of lilies I have shot from your own but still with his     eyes blind bell, and eke young

flame upon the man more or less,     fair Sacharissa lov’d at thy fired, If he wound our     roots together beautiful

and layen baytes to act, from     yonder flie, o ease me, alack air, and bene was queen-     priest till she but of fear.

[endthestarlight]

NaNoWriMo Day 20: Finally halfway!

Daily word count: 1841 || Total: 25639/50000

I am actually amazed that I got this far and only five days late too. Idk how much further I can get with only 10 days left, but also I still have 10 days!! Maybe that would be enough to get me to 30k or even 35k, I would be happy with either even if it's not the complete 50k for nanowrimo.

I'm gonna drop an excerpt from today's draft for the occasion and also because I said I'll stop being chicken about sharing my writing but then still proceeded to cluck around so here, I'll fulfil the vow I made to myself (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~

One time the two siblings were reading an illustrated book, one about monsters and their victims and occasionally the heroes who defeated these foul creatures, if the tale was so inclined to end itself happily as a consolation. One picture of a gruesome child-eating beast in particular scared Eve, and Wilfred found it very much amusing. He had stopped fearing such things from storybooks so this reaction from his much younger and naive sister gave him much more enjoyment than just reading it. When Eve pulled away to cover her eyes and bury herself under the blankets, Wilfred pulled her back to his side and began telling her the tale. The more she shivered and whimpered under his arm, the more excited and animated his narration of the tale became, until—:

"BOO!" Wilfred yelled at the climax.

The sudden scream frightened Eve, and she let out a scream of her own much louder than the one that scared her. They were both in hysterics, with Eve wailing inconsolably as Wilfred laughed at her expense. Amidst all the noise they were making, Wilfred heard the door of the master bedroom slamming open and hurried footsteps thumping on the wooden floor. In a panic, he hurriedly shoved the book under his pillow and blew the candles out, and he urged Eve to stop crying lest they be caught staying up way past their bedtime. However, despite Wilfred's pleading, she could not stop. In fact she cried even harder, for the sudden darkness frightened her even more and made her frightful imaginings worse. She could see in the dark with what little light the faint moon offered her a shadowy figure lurking in the corner of their room, slowly advancing towards them without a sound as Wilfred tried to hush and quiet her down. It was nearing the bed where they were, reaching its clawed hand to Wilfred who had his back to it. Eve tried to warn him, but her words were jumbled, her tongue in a knot. She kept trying as it crept closer and closer, its sharp talons about to grasp at Wilfred's hair.

"B-b-behind you!" Eve managed to stutter out, a shaking finger pointing past his shoulder.

But Wilfred only snorted at her warning. "Hah! As if I'm going to fall for that," he said smugly. "What's behind me, hmm? What's behind me, Eve?" he asked as she shook him with both hands.

Then the door to their room bust open, and he yelped from the shock. Nate stood at the door in his pyjamas, a candlestick in his hand, with an angry expression.

"What ruckus are you two making this late at night?" Nate barked.

Eve couldn't be scared of their angry father though, for with the light of the new flame he brought with him, that strange creature disappeared like smoke being blown away. He had saved them both from danger and she was thankful for it, even if he came here to scold. She ran up to Nate and clung to him tightly.

Nate looked to Wilfred to explain things. "What happened here? Why is Eve crying? Wilfred, what did you do?" The last one, an accusation that stung.

"It's not my fault she gets scared so easily!" Wilfred protested, but that only gave away what happened.

"Ah, I see. You two were staying up late telling scary stories instead of sleeping, and you mister had the bright idea of spooking your younger sister out of her wits, is that it?"

"Look, it's not all my fault, okay? She wanted it—"

"We'll talk about this matter in the morning," Nate said sternly, shutting his protests down. He kneeled to be at eye level with Eve and stroked her head gently. In a voice much more tender than when speaking to Wilfred, Nate said: "Hush now, my dear Eve, it's alright. Do you want to sleep in the other bedroom with me and Mama?"

Eve shook her head, still sniffling. "No, no," she said, "we can't leave Wilfred here all alone. There's a monster here."

"Your older brother can handle any monsters here by himself," Nate replied. "He's a big boy, see? He's not even the least bit scared at all. He can stand to sleep here on his own." To Wilfred's ears that sounded like a condemnation.

Nate picked Eve up with one arm and was about to carry her off to sleep in the other bedroom, but Eve started hitting and kicking and throwing a fit again.

"No, no, no! We can't, we can't just leave him!" Eve cried out. "It's dangerous, it's dangerous here alone in the dark..." she trailed off in a trembling whimper and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

Nate sighed. Eve clearly wasn't going to calm down like this so he had no choice but to play by what she wanted if he wanted to go back to sleep soon. "Alright, alright. We won't leave him. Do you want me to stay the night here with you two? I can even leave the candlelight burning for the night so you'll have nothing to be afraid of."

"Mhm-hmm," Eve nodded, snuggling up to her father.

Nate placed the candlestick down on Wilfred's study desk and carried Eve to the two siblings' shared bed. He laid her down next to Wilfred and himself sat on her other side, keeping Eve in between her father and her brother. Before laying his head down, Nate gave a stern glance at Wilfred, admonishing him with his eyes alone. It was as if those eyes said, 'Look at how you treat your sister, your sister who despite all that still cares for your safety and won't let you be in any danger, imagined or not.'

They both knew that there was nothing there, that it was just an overactive imagination on Eve's part, but in that moment before Nate slammed open the door, Wilfred thought that he felt something touch his hair ever so slightly, though both of Eve's hands still clung tightly to him, and the windows were all tightly shut so it was definitely no wind's gentle caress.

Wilfred brushed it off as Eve's fright simply getting to him.

[faofinn]

Febuwhump Day 4 - “I can’t lose you too” (Alt Prompt 2)

@febuwhump

Part 1 // Part 2

Sheila was working when the call came through, her phone buzzing uselessly in her locker.  By the time her break came round, it was a long while later, her battery nearly dead and several missed calls from a number she didn’t recognise. Food in the microwave, she perched against the bench and pressed play.

“Sheila? Sheila ‘m sorry. They asked me who I wanted to call an’ -and I didn’t know who else. ‘m really scared and I’m in hospital and you always said I could call.” Her heart sank, fear taking over. “I’m sorry. I lost my phone an’ I couldn’t remember your number. I don’t even know if this is your number still. I fucked up and I’m sorry. You an’ Fred were the best family an’ you did so much for me an-and I’ve done this. I didn’t have time to do anything and then I was here. You were a mum to me, and Fred was the best … best dad I had...I’m sorry. I don’t wanna be alone, Sheila. I know you’re busy and you’ve probably forgotten me and I’m sorry, I’m just scared.”

The beep sounded and she didn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. It had been a few months since she’d heard from him, and even then it was just a passing text to tell her happy birthday. He was still her child, one of her first fosters, and still family. He sounded in a bad way and she could hear the flurry of activity in the hospital around the panic in his voice. It took no time to make her mind up, briefly telling a colleague she was going before disappearing, her lunch still in the microwave.

She tried Fred on the way, to no avail, leaving him a slightly more composed voicemail than had been left on hers. The hospital was no luck either, stuck on hold until the dialing rang out. 

The car was left abandoned in the carpark as she rushed through to the ED, pushing past the queue at the desk. “Hi, sorry, my son was brought in earlier - Jason Hardy - I got a phone call from him.”

“Just a second ma’am, there’s a queue.” 

“Yeah, it’ll take two seconds. Jason Hardy. Can you tell me where he is?”

With an irritated sigh, the receptionist tapped away on the computer, face falling slightly. “I’m just going to get a nurse.”

Sheila knew it was bad, she’d heard the panic and desperation in his voice, and seeing the look on the receptionist’s face...it only made it worse. 

A nurse arrived to greet Sheila quite quickly, a forced smile on her face. “Sheila Daniels?”

“Is he still alive?”

“He is. He’s in a bad way, but he’s alive. We’re gonna take you through now.”

She followed her through. “How bad is he? I got the phone call…”

“It’s touch and go, I’m afraid.”

She swallowed thickly. “What happened?”

“There was a car accident.”

“No.” 

“I’m afraid so.”

“But he’s going to be okay, right?”

“We’re doing our best.”

She knew what that meant. “So, no.”

“You know we can’t make any promises. But we’re doing our absolute best to give him the best shot.”

“I’ve been through it before with my other two. You don’t need to lie to me.”

“I'm not lying to you, I promise. We're doing our best for him.”

"I don't doubt you are, but I know what it means, when you say that. The look you all have…"

“I’m sorry. It’s a difficult situation.”

"He was one of my first fosters." Sheila said quietly. "Stayed with me a long while, and then would come and stay for reprieve occasionally."

“That’s very admirable of you. Foster parents are such a lifeline. I’m sure he’ll appreciate you being here.” The nurse said, letting herself into the ICU.

"He said he couldn't remember my number. I should have been here."

“You’re here now, that’s what counts. No use dwelling on the ‘should haves’.”

She shook her head. "That doesn't make it better."

“I know it’s difficult, but we can’t change the past. You’re here now, and he’ll appreciate you being here.”

Sheila hesitated. "How bad is he?"

“Critical, but he’s been improving gradually.”

"Surgery?"

“Hopefully later, if he’s stable enough.”

"If."

“With the way things are going, he’ll be in surgery later this afternoon. But it’s the surgeon’s decision when they see him.”

She nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

“His bed is just down here.” She said, leading her down the ward. 

Sheila thanked her again, stood outside Jason's bay. He'd grown since she'd last seen him, a beard growing on his face and his blond hair a mess. She couldn't help but frown; it was parted wrong, and he'd always hated that.

"Jason?" She took his hand. "I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm here now. I've got you, yeah?"

The nurses gave Sheila as much space as they could, giving her time to sit with her old foster. He was in and out of consciousness, and definitely very, very poorly, but there was no doubt he knew she was there. His obs even improved a little. 

She sorted his hair, adjusted the specs on his nose, and then waited. She'd get the occasional response from him as she chatted away, promising him they'd have a room for him to get him back on his feet.

After a while, the surgeon arrived, startled by Sheila in the bay. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think there was family with him.”

"I've not long been here, sorry."

“Well, I'm glad he has someone. I'm Dr Knight, one of the senior surgical registrars on his case. I'm happy to have a chat with you?”

She nodded. "Do you need to go somewhere else? Or can we stay here?"

“No, absolutely fine to stay here.” He said, taking a seat. “Are you his mother?”

"Uh, I guess. I was his foster mum for a long, long time."

“Well, that's good enough in my books. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you've been told already, he's very unwell. We've been trying to get him stable enough for surgery for a while now, I've just come to do some final checks before we make our decision.”

"If you don't take him to surgery, what's the prognosis?"

“Not good, I'm afraid. He had a procedure after he was admitted to control his internal bleeding, but unfortunately it's not worked as well as we'd hoped it would. He's very weak.”

"And if you wait a few days, let him get some strength up?"

“We think it's more likely he'll deteriorate in that time. We have a small window of opportunity here.”

"And this surgery, how...how likely is it to succeed?" She barely dared to ask.

“It's a hail mary, I'm afraid. But it's better than doing nothing. His best shot at recovery.” He reached out to rest a hand on her knee in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “I understand this is incredibly difficult to hear. This isn't a decision we're taking lightly. But he's young and he deserves the best possible chance, even if the odds are slim.”

She shook her head. "It isn't fair on him."

“You don't agree with our decision to do this surgery?”

"Oh, no, no. Not that. All of this. He shouldn't be here. He was meant to have his life sorted and be living. Not stuck in limbo." She sniffed, trying to stop the tears.

“Ah. I understand this is upsetting - nobody deserves to be in this situation. We're going to do our absolute best for him. We have been doing our absolute best for him from the start. None of us would be considering this surgery if we didn't believe it was in his best interests.” He handed her a tissue, neatly folded in his pocket. “I know I said we have a window of opportunity, but there's time for you to spend with him now. We're not going to rush in just yet.”

"If he needs it, if it's his best chance, then he should go now though, right? So he can come out sooner, and start to recover?"

“We still have some preparations to do first. I'm just here to assess his condition. He seems to have improved since you've arrived.” He said gently. “We'll take him as soon as we're ready for him. But I just wanted to make sure you knew that you have time to spend with him now.”

She forced a smile. "Thank you. For everything."

“Not a problem. I know how difficult this is. Please don't hesitate to grab the nurses if you need anything at all. Can I get someone to bring you food? Something to drink?”

"No, thank you. I'm okay. I'll just stay with him for the time being."

He nodded. “That's absolutely fine. But we can provide you with food, tea, anything. This is probably harder for you than it is for him.”

"Yeah. He'd tell me off for crying, sorry. It was just a bit of a shock."

“Of course, of course. Don't apologise, please. In your position I'd be a sobbing mess.”

"I've had a bit of practice over the years." She laughed slightly. "Normally always the boys, too." 

“Other fosters?”

She nodded. "Quite a few. Some of the scraps they'd get themselves into...I'm just being a pain, don't let me keep you."

“Not a pain in the slightest. I just need to do a few checks, yeah?”

"Go ahead. Don't let me get in the way."

He nodded and stood up, though rested a gentle hand on her shoulder before he moved to check Jason over. Thankfully he had improved, and he was happy they were making the right decision. 

“I ought to go now, and make sure things are being sorted. But you're more than welcome to ask the nurses for me, or any of his team. We'd be happy to come down and speak with you again if you need.”

"Thank you." She glanced at him with a small smile before turning back to face Jason. He was her priority. 

The surgeon left her alone again, save for the occasional nurse popping in to check on him. She apologised again, in his brief moment of consciousness, smoothing his hair back down. Fred still didn’t answer his phone, leaving her alone, dealing with the mess herself.

They gave Sheila as much time as they could. It wasn't ideal, but she needed all the time she could get. Eventually they had no choice, though, and they had to go ahead with the surgery. They sent in a nurse with a porter, as much as Chris wanted to be there, he couldn't. He had too much to do. 

Sheila held her tears in as she said her goodbyes, promising him she’d be there when he came round. She held his hand as long as she could, pressing a kiss to his forehead as she was forced to leave. 

“I love you, yeah? It won’t be long and then it’ll be okay. I love you.”

They took him after that, the nurse sending Sheila a sad smile. 

The surgery was difficult, and unfortunately it didn't get easier as they went on. He was just too unstable, they couldn't do what they wanted to do. They were thwarted by low blood pressure and arrests looming before the inevitable occurred. They tried and tried, but his body just wasn't strong enough. They had to call it a day, in the end. It wasn't fair to try and keep going when his body had had enough.

It was Fao who called time of death, and so it was him who took the responsibility of speaking to next of kin. He headed out of theatres, heart heavy, and round to the relatives room to find them. 

He couldn't help the way his heart dropped when he saw who was sitting waiting. Sheila. He stumbled slightly, pain flaring in his knee, and he forced himself to keep going. 

“I'm looking for family of Jason Hardy?” He said, trying his best to stay sounding professional.

Sheila raised her head, she knew that voice, knew that tone. "No."

He cleared his throat. “Would you mind coming with me?”

"Fao this isn't real, he's still okay, right? You just had to stop it early for a different reason."

“I'm sorry. Come with me? We can go somewhere quiet to talk.”

She swallowed thickly, standing on shaking legs. It was all just a dream. He was fine, he had to be. 

He led her into a small, private room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He took a deep breath, and sat down opposite her. 

“We did our very best. We made some good progress, but unfortunately he was just too weak. Despite our best efforts to try and stabilise him, he went into cardiac arrest. We tried for some time to resuscitate him, but unfortunately we were,” he paused to clear his throat, “unfortunately we were unsuccessful. He passed away. I'm so sorry.”

She already knew, could tell from the look on his face, the tone in his voice. It was still something else to be told it outright, and worse further that it was her own son telling her. She wrapped her arms around herself, forcing herself to breathe past the lump in her throat. 

Fao cleared his throat again. “I know this is difficult to hear, and I'm sorry I don't have better news for you. I assure you that we did everything we could for him.” 

"Are you sure it was him?" Her voice cracked.

“I’m sure. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

"You're lying."

“I know this is difficult to process. I promise you, I’ve told you the truth.”

“You’re wrong. You’re lying. You’re wrong.”

“I understand this is hard to hear. If you’d like, you’re welcome to go and see him?”

“You don’t understand.” She frowned at him. “You don’t understand anything.”

“Can you help me understand? I’m willing to explain everything, if that would help?”

“He’s gone.”

“I’m afraid so.”

She shook her head. “He’s gone.”

“I can assure you, he wasn’t in any pain.”

“But he was.”

“We did our best to keep his pain well managed.”

“He was in pain and terrified.”

Fao swallowed thickly. “My colleagues did our best to reassure him and ensure his pain was well controlled. He was under anaesthesia, I can assure you he wouldn’t have been in pain when he passed.”

“You didn’t hear the voicemail.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t. If you want to take the matter further, I can give you the number for the hospital PALS department? But I can assure you we did our best to make him comfortable.”

"You don't mean any of that." She frowned at him. "You're just reading off a script. You don't care."

“I care about every patient I treat.” His voice wobbled. “I did everything I could for him, as did my colleagues.” He forced himself to take another deep breath. “I know I’m not the person you want giving you this news. But I would never do any procedure if I didn’t think it was in the patient’s best interests. I wouldn’t have suggested this option for Jason if I didn’t think he could benefit from it.”

Sheila rubbed her eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. The wobble in Fao's voice broke her and she reached out for him.

He handed her a tissue. “Here, it’s alright. I know this is hard to hear.” He said, moving closer to her. 

She pushed the tissue away, choosing instead to grab onto Fao and pull him close. Her fingers tightened around his scrubs and she buried her face in Fao's shoulder.

Instinctively he held her close, rubbing her back. “It’s alright. I know this is hard, I know. It’s okay.”

“He’s gone.”

“I’m sorry, he’s gone.”

Her legs buckled as she sobbed, the pain completely overtaking her.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He soothed.

She gripped onto him tighter. “I should have been there for him.”

“You were. You were right there with him. Chris and the nurses said the whole time you were there, his obs improved.”

“But he didn’t make it.”

“His odds were slim the minute he came through our doors. We all knew that - he knew that. We gave it our best shot, but…” Fao had to clear his throat again, “but his body told us that he’d had enough. Sometimes despite everything, there’s nothing more we can do.”

She was quiet a moment. “I’m glad it was you.”

“If I’d have known…”

“But I know you’d have done everything.”

“Of course. We all did.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry there wasn’t a better outcome.”

“Can I see him?”

“Of course.”

“Can...Can you stay with me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Fred wouldn’t answer and I dont know what Finn’s up to.” She sniffed. “They need to know..”

“Do you want me to try Fred?”

Sheila nodded. “Please.”

“Alright. Can I get you anything? Tea? Water?” He offered, digging in his pockets for his phone. 

“Just you.”

“I’m right here. Not going anywhere.” He said, finding his phone and quickly calling Fred.

She leant into him, tears still falling and her chest aching. She couldn't quite believe it, he was gone and there was nothing she could do.

“It’s alright, it’s okay.” He murmured gently, praying Fred picked up the phone.

The phone rang through, like it had so many times with Sheila. She shook her head as she heard the voicemail, pressing closer to Fao. Deep down, she knew that she should be there for him, not the other way around. He shouldn't be having to tell her that her son was dead. 

“I bet he’s left it somewhere.” Fao said, trying to make his tone light. “You know what he’s like. Come on, why don’t we go and get some fresh air? And then I can take you to see Jason when they’re ready.”

"You're still working."

“I’d say I was due a break, wouldn’t you?”

She nodded with a shaky breath. "Okay."

He stood, and offered her his hand. “Here.”

“Thanks.” She took it, gripping him tight. “I’m sorry.”

“God, why are you sorry?”

“You had to work on him.” Her voice cracked and wobbled. “I know that’s hard.”

“I didn’t know him, Mum. I didn’t even know you were here.”

“I know you beat yourself up over these things.”

He hummed. “We all did our best. I’m sorry there wasn’t a better outcome.”

She bit her lip to stop her sob, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. The grief was overwhelming, stirring up so many more unwanted emotions.

“Hey, it’s alright.”

She shook her head, dropping Fao’s hand in favor of hugging him. “Promise me you won’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere, máthair. Promise.”

“I can’t lose you too.”

Fao made a noise in the back of his throat. “I’m here. You’re not going to lose me.”

She pulled back to look at him, tears flooding her face. “I can’t lose you. You’re my son.”

Fao pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, yeah?”

[sswissy]

𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 | 𝗌𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅

𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 | 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆

( I dedicate this chapter to my ghoulies discord, I love you all immensely. )

two days later

All Hallow's Eve was a favorite amongst the congregation but for Sister Imperator it meant being extra meticulous about how the abbey was. With that meant the stress of decorating fell on Bellamira's shoulders. No matter what the occasion was, the Imperator had eyes on her like a hawk assuring the church looked its best. Bellamira cursed herself for volunteering so many years ago but the prideful look of the Imperator was enough for her to suffer. However she would've preferred not having to deal with the other two whiny sisters whose arms were hurting after spreading fake cobwebs everywhere.

"It's not that bad ladies! We just have this last corridor and then-" Bellamira paused once hearing the two start to whine for a break. Preparations for the rituals were incredibly important which meant Bellamira had been swamped with work and hadn't seen any of the ghouls in days. But it didn't mean she was going to complain because it almost seemed like a blessing from Lucifer himself. Bellamira was still quite embarrassed from having a panic attack in front of Swiss after just getting his attention. Now it seemed like he was going to avoid her after dealing with rehearsals. Who would want to put up with someone like herself? Nobody sane enough.

"But if you'd like to take a break, I'll finish up here." She waved them off. It didn't take long for them to scamper off towards the dining hall before Mira continued dealing with the annoying cobweb shit.

"You know you missed a spot, right there!" Rain teased while leaning against the wall which Mira was decorating. He hadn't been surprised when Mira boggled herself down with work since the little incident but none of them could confront her with the stressful rehearsals. However that didn't mean that Rain hadn't been worried or Swiss hadn't been on edge not seeing Mira after being so attached to her hip the last week.

"To think I missed you so much, Rainy. Can you move over a bit this way?" Mira grabbed another handful of cobwebs and dealt with the light fixture next to him. It had truly felt like forever without the ghouls around but she would've suffered through even longer to save her the embarrassment.

"I know you're avoiding us, Mira. Especially Swiss who hasn't been able to focus the last few days at rehearsals." Rain made a tsk noise while screwing with the cobwebs to mess with her. Bellamira gently smacked his hand away before shuffling down the corridor to continue working.

"It's not that I'm avoiding him, I feel foolish." Bellamira grumbled. She hadn't even fallen over herself or walked into a pillar the past few weeks but this was ten times worse.

"He doesn't think worse of you, idiot. Swiss actually cares about you more than you realize it." Rain thumped her on the head. He loved his friend but sometimes the girl just didn't look at the bigger picture in front of her.

"Stop bullying me, Rainy." Mira nudged him away from where she was decorating next. "I just hate how I was doing so much better and then I had a mental breakdown in front of him. He needs someone whose more confident and strong, not some weak whiny girl like me." She sniffled trying not to cry again like she did last night.

"Can you stop for one second and just think clearly? Swiss likes you. That means he likes how clumsy you are, the way you ramble about random things, and that you aren't like the other confident sisters here. You're genuinely a special person, Bellamira so please see that and don't ruin this. It would honestly hurt Swiss more than you realize." Rain gently shook her shoulders.

"Should I uh- talk to him?" Bellamira whispered staring at her polished Mary Jane's. Perhaps Rain was right this time as much as she hated to admit it. Because he would definitely gloat about this for weeks to come if Mira agreed.

"Yes, I think you should." Rain nodded. Swiss had also wanted to talk to Mira but hadn't been able to get away from Papa long enough. They had to practice several songs for the rituals as well as prepare for the Hallow's Eve party that was thrown every year. Which Bellamira was adamant about not going to in fear of a repeat of last year.

"Can you take me to him, please?" Bellamira asked. Rain grabbed the ball of cobwebs in her hands and tossed it in the box of decorations next to them. It was actually a shock to him that Mira was agreeing to speak to his brother so fast. But he wasn't going to question it any further and dragged her down the corridor to where the main stage was.

Dew was continually throwing pics at Aether who kept blocking them while laughing hysterically. Papa had given them a short break after continuous hours of work due to Sister Imperator breathing down his neck. Cirrus and Cumulus was twirling around the stage trying to stretch out their limbs a bit. Mountain was downing another bottle of water thanks to the heat up in his hive. Swiss however was crouched down hugging his guitar while waiting for Rain to come back from his mission.

It had been awful without seeing Bellamira those last few days even with rehearsals attempting to distract him from the fact. Swiss would've usually been able to handle it but it had grown into a dull ache overcoming every other sense of his. During the first day of rehearsals, he was able to kind of ignore it until yesterday when he woke up in a sweat freaking out that Bellamira wasn't next to him. That's when Rain confronted him about whether he had realized that his little human friend was his mate or not. Swiss couldn't exactly hide it to himself that Mira was definitely his mate.

Swiss definitely wasn't used to missing someone so much but it was nearly driving him insane. He couldn't focus on the cues from Papa or the notes he was suppose to be hitting. Dew had become increasingly agitated and had nearly set his platform on fire in protest. Even Papa was feeling some of the unwanted tension in the room. Rain had simply given up on trying to get through rehearsals and set out to find Mira in favor of dealing with Swiss.

"I swear if you ever steal my solo again, I will set you on fire. Do you understand me?" Dew threw another pic quite aggressively as Aether ducked down. Swiss groaned against the neck of his guitar before his tail flickered at the familiar scent of Bellamira entering the room. Her short heels clicking against the staircase leading up the stage as Swiss sprung up and ran towards where she was.

"Thank Satan, you're here princess." Swiss tightly held onto Mira who squeaked in surprise. His entire body cooling down as she nuzzled into his chest. "I missed you so much, please don't disappear for that long again." He could hear the stifled giggles from being pressed against him and he pulled slightly away to see her.

"I uh was a little embarrassed from the other day, I'm sorry." Bellamira sighed. Perhaps it was silly to ignore the ghouls in favor of her own pride. Swiss' tail wrapped around her leg as he kissed the top of her head.

"You don't have to apologize, sweetheart. It's my job to take care of you." Swiss felt so calm now seeing Mira shyly smiling up at him. He hadn't been able to get decent rest worried sick that she was possibly upset with him or worse she was rejecting him. Swiss couldn't help but yawn as the exhaustion was really setting in now.

"Are you sleepy? We could uh always take a nap after you're done?" Bellamira couldn't help cooing as Swiss dropped his head into her shoulder and purred. He reminded her of a sleepy cat that was pawing at his owner for cuddles.

"I would love to sleep with you, princess." Swiss pressed a kiss behind her ear and reluctantly pulled back to see the hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Can you stay right here so I can see you? I don't want you disappearing again." He guided her to one of the chairs facing his side of the stage and Bellamira slowly sat down.

"As long as you deal with Sister Imperator later for abandoning my work." Bellamira laughed. Once she saw the abandoned box of decorations in the corridor, a strict punishment would be awaiting her. Granted the woman had a soft spot for her, it didn't mean Bellamira was exempt from her duties to the church especially important ones like this.

"I'll deal with anything if it means you being here with me." Swiss leaning down to kiss her before Papa called out for him to get his ass back on the platform. Bellamira pulling away to kiss the top of his hand and shooing him away to the stage. He couldn't help glancing back when walking away to make sure she was actually there and it wasn't his imagination. She blew him a kiss and nestled into the chair to get comfy while waiting for rehearsals to end.

Bellamira couldn't keep up with how fast Swiss was racing down the corridor even with his hand in hers. Multiple sisters fumbling to get out of the way of the ghoul while Mira sent out a few apologizes to them. His long legs helping him get back to his room whereas she was struggling while trying to catch her breath. She leaned against the door of the corridor as Swiss looked for the key in his pockets to unlock it.

"Did I already tire you out, princess?" Swiss teased before grabbing her hand again and walking inside the dorm. It was quite odd not hearing Dew's obnoxious screams or Mountain using his drumsticks on every possible surface around him.

"I'm just a little out of breath is all." Bellamira walked alongside Swiss who was heading towards his room. She was slightly nervous this time around considering being awake and all. Like what if he expected her to do something that she definitely couldn't give him? Well she would've if she wasn't so damn scared.

"Princess, you looked terrified. We're just going to sleep, you can calm down." Swiss kissing her forehead when noticing the wide eyed look on her. She chewed softly on her bottom lip trying to erase the thoughts racing in her mind.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to uh scare you off or-" Bellamira rambled. She instantly stopped when hearing Swiss laughing softly at her, his hands holding onto her hips and pulling her against his chest.

"You won't be able to scare me off. You're precious, you mean the world to me more than you realize it princess." Swiss slowly walking them over to the bed. Bellamira couldn't help blushing bright red and wrapping her arms around his neck. She leaned up to press a kiss on his lips surprising the ghoul considerably. Both of them smiling as the world drifted away from them and savoring the moment being alone for once.

taglist:

@mellie-teh-goblin-queen​

@chiggennuggie

@simply-alone-and-sublime​

@synestheticbisexual​

@sucharide​

@babydonkeyfromshrek​

[critrolesideblog]

"Do you enjoy card games?" At this query, Caleb looked up slowly, finally, from the Aeorian tome he had been frowning at all day.

It was the third day of a forced respite from their Aeorian expedition. They had been beset on their last outing by a three-headed abomination that, though quickly vanquished, had left Caleb with a series of nasty bites that bled with alarming profusion. A couple of healing potions had stopped the bleeding and partly healed the wounds, but they stubbornly refused to heal up entirely. So, at Essek's insistence and Caleb's reluctant acceptance, they were taking a break.

Caleb had spent their "break" thus far puzzling over an incomplete Aeorian formula with increasing frustration and, despite Essek's efforts at reassurance, guilt at delaying their explorations. Caleb had stubbornly refused both Essek's help and his suggestions that he work on something else for a while. So, Essek moved to Plan C.

"I, ah, ja, I suppose so," Caleb replied, azure eyes glancing down to Essek's hands, deftly shuffling the deck he had procured from the second floor of the tower. "Although, it has been some time since I've played one."

"It has for me as well." Essek glided around the desk Caleb was seated at to place himself on the opposite side, as Caleb considered him thoughtfully, and as he seated himself, the Zemnian wizard gently closed the tome with a small sigh and made space on the desk by unceremoniously shoving a small mountain of wadded-up, discarded parchment onto the floor, to the annoyed meows, chitters, and huffs of a number of the tower cats. "It's been at least," Essek took a large breath and let it out in a slow sigh, making a production of thinking over the many decades it had been since his last game with Verin. "Oh, at least 70 years, maybe 80." Caleb leveled a deadpan gaze at him for his efforts, though he was unable to completely school the muscles at the corners of his lips that wanted to form a smirk at his little one-upmanship. Essek allowed himself a satisfied grin in return. "Still, I thought it might be a pleasant diversion."

"Do you have a particular game in mind, old man?" Ha. Essek considered the possibilities, unsure of which, if any, games spanned their two cultures.

"Hm, there was one Verin was particularly fond of when we were children. The cards are dealt evenly between the players," he explained and began dispensing the cards. "And the goal is to obtain the entire deck. Without looking, we each take turns flipping cards over into a pile in the center, until someone plays a face card. When that happens, the next player tries to beat the value of the previous card, Aces being of greatest value, and whomever has the highest card claims the pile."

"Simple enough."

"Indeed, but when Verin played, he was fond of what he called..." He paused to consider how best to convey it in Common. It was odd the random words that came up as blank spots in his vocabulary. Punch...? No, not punch. "How do you say it ... There is a word, I think, for when you hit something with your palm?" He mimed the motion of doing it to someone's face.

Caleb raised an eyebrow, a bemused expression settling on his features. "A slap?"

"Yes!” Now that Caleb said it he was certain he had heard it before. “He liked to play with...” He paused to consider the translation again. “Slap rules."

"Slap rules?"

"When two cards of the same value are played in a row, or on either side of a single card, any player may slap their hand down and claim the pile, whomever is quickest."

"Alright, I think I've got it." They each scooped up their respective piles of cards and formed them into neat stacks in their hands. "Shall we?" There was a glimmer of friendly competitiveness in Caleb's eyes that made Essek's heart-rate tick up a little.

"After you."

They took turns flipping over cards, slowly at first, random numbers of varying colors stacking one on top of the other until Caleb, at last, turned over a Jack. "Ah, let's see if you can beat that, Her Thelyss." Essek dealt his next card. Six. He let out a little huff of disappointment as Caleb slid the pile towards himself with the ghost of a grin hovering around his mouth.

"Danke." He said, adding the pile to his hand.

"Ole hyvä." Essek deadpanned. Amusement crinkled the edges of Caleb's eyes, and an increasingly familiar warm affection took up residence in Essek's chest. They began again, flipping the cards a little faster this time.

Thump. Caleb blinked with surprise as Essek claimed the pile. He moved his hand back slightly to reveal the most recent cards - two threes in a row. "Aaah, right, slap rules."

"Indeed."

They began again, flipping the cards over a little faster still. Essek glanced up at Caleb's face. The guilt and frustration that had tugged on his features the past two days seemed to have released their grip, in favor of intent observation. He looked back down -- two eights! Their hands collided as they both reached for the pile at the same time, but Caleb eked out a victory, his fingers managing to slip just under Essek's. Caleb gave a soft "ha!" as he claimed the pile, and Essek found himself grinning as well, despite the loss. He had not considered that their hands would inevitably touch over the course of this game, but he couldn't say he minded.

"You can imagine, perhaps," he said slowly as they began turning over cards again, resolutely watching the cards this time, "two little Drow boys slapping the cards, and each other, with increasing enthusiasm as the game goes on." Caleb chuckled.

"I can indeed. In Blumenthal, we had a game where we just slapped each other's hands to see who was fastest, no cards needed." Both of their hands shot out - a nine flanked by a pair of fives this time. Again, there was Caleb's warm hand under Essek's instead of cardstock. He made a show of hissing with frustration, baring his fangs a little, but he was sure it was belied by the grin still tugging at his mouth. Caleb didn't seem the least bit intimidated as he added the cards to his hand, amusement crinkling the eyes again. The warm affection steadily blooming in Essek's chest grew warmer still. They began again, and after a moment of dealing cards in companionable silence, Caleb asked, "What is he like? Your brother?"

A memory filled Essek's senses. He and his brother were in a ballroom on the Thelyss estate. Members of various Dens and the upper echelon of the military were milling about them to the strains of soft music and polite conversation. Verin was grinning with a brash pride at being appointed Taskhand, chin held high, chest puffed out. A gleeful victory polished his silver eyes to shining. Earlier that evening, Essek had retied the bun neatly collecting his little brother's many braids to make sure he was presentable for the ceremony. Verin had ruffled Essek's hair to make sure he wasn't. "Tall," he replied, finally, and then muttered, "the bastard." That shocked a laugh out of Caleb, as Essek hoped it would, and he tried to suppress his own victorious grin.

"How rude of him growing past his elder brother!" Caleb laughed.

"The disrespect," Essek opined, shaking his head. "When we were teenagers, I once escorted him to a shop - he wanted to buy a trinket for some girl, and I needed spell components."

"Naturally."

"And the shopkeeper complimented him on how kind he was to take his little brother out shopping." Caleb's laugh was lovelier than any sound Essek could think to compare it to. "I could have strangled that shopkeep. I knew I would never hear the end of it. All I heard for months after that was little brother this, and little brother that."

"How did you get him to stop?"

"Violence." Essek claimed the card pile with a Jack of Spades. "I mastered Telekinesis and tossed him into a snowbank."

"Ja, naturally, as one does." Caleb's voice was warm with amusement.

Essek felt no need to mention that Verin had enjoyed the experience and asked to be tossed into the snowbank three more times. "He's naturally charming," Essek continued. "Too much for his own good, sometimes. He has forgotten on more than one occasion to check whether the targets of his charms were married first."

"Uh-oh," Caleb chuckled.

"Indeed." Essek rolled his eyes with old exasperation and then claimed the pile of cards again with a Queen of Hearts. "He's smart, but he always preferred fighting and flirting to academics. Still, he has a keen mind for battle strategy, tactics, problem-solving. Much too honest for politics, but he is the sort of person people turn to naturally for leadership, and he takes that responsibility seriously." Caleb claimed the pile this time, King of Clubs.

"He sounds like a good person," Caleb ventured quietly.

Another memory rose up, unbidden. Verin when he was a long way yet from being Verin. They had called him Rei then, and Essek had been called Kai. Rei was a baby, barely old enough to walk, but his tiny hand patted Kai's shoulder gently as his elder brother tried not to cry over a skinned knee. His silver eyes, large in his small, round face, clearly full of a sympathy he did not have words yet to express. Essek nodded. "Even when he was a child. As a toddler, any time he received a treat, his first instinct was always to share it, with me or Nanny, or the housekeepers, even, whomever was nearby." Haluatko vähän? Do you want some? The little boy had always asked. Haluatko vähän? He had asked the less popular children in school, as he went out of his way to share his snacks and his shine. Haluatko vähän? He had asked with an excited smile, on the eve of his deployment to Bazzoxan, before running out into the rain to get fried insects from his favorite street vendor, like a child and not the 105-year-old man that he was, and again after purchasing it and exclaiming how delicious they were, Haluatko vähän? "He has always had a good heart." Icy tendrils began to snake their way through Essek's chest, like the mold of Aeor, feeding on the heat there and turning it into cold, cold shame and guilt. How had Verin remained so good and Essek turned so wrong?

He didn't ask the question aloud, but Caleb seemed to guess where his mind had turned and countered it with a question of his own. "Perhaps some credit goes to his elder brother for shielding his good heart?" Essek made himself look into Caleb's eyes, and their hands paused in their game for a moment. There was no pity in the Lucidian blue, just a gentle curiosity. It was a genuine question.

Essek considered the hypothesis. He had tried his best to keep Verin on the right side of the Umavi's scrutiny and their father's temper and out of any problems he couldn't punch his way out of. But was it as simple as being the younger of the two? Essek had felt as much affection for Nanny as Verin had, but he wasn't sure he had ever offered to share a treat with her before Verin came along. If he had, he certainly hadn't continued to offer after repeated declinations out of an immovable sense of fairness. As far as Essek could recall, they had always been of wildly different dispositions. Verin was boisterous where Essek was quiet, outgoing where he was introverted, gregarious where he was selfish, courageous where he was cowardly. Try as he might, Essek could not imagine Verin doing the things he had done, for the Dynasty or against it, for mere power.

"Very little," he concluded. "I did try to look out for him, but for all that we share in origin, we are very different people. There is no discarded timeline with a Shadowhand Verin."

Caleb considered this thoughtfully for a moment and then tossed a card down with his verdict: "That last assertion is unfalsifiable." Essek raised an eyebrow and tossed a card down. Yes, he supposed it was... for now...

Thump. Caleb slid the pile crowned by two Kings toward himself with a satisfied grin. "You know this game is very unfair to you, Herr Thelyss." There was a spark of mischief in his eyes, and Essek felt the chill in his chest begin to ease. "What with my being so much younger than you, better reflexes and all of that."

Essek scoffed and shook his head, a grin returning to his face. The nerve. "Oh, we'll see about that."

[mediocre-writerr]

unbreakable [jennifer jareau]

jennifer jareau x reader, emily prentiss x sister!reader

requested: i love your works sm, could i request a criminal minds one where the reader is emily’s little sister and jj’s girlfriend and she gets injured and she calls jj to tell them her location, but her injuries kept getting worse. jj and emily try to stay calm, but are scared and when they get to her its angsty (and COMFORT)

*not my gif*

The black pickup truck flew through the red light, heading straight for you. Your blood froze in your veins. You wanted to swerve out of the way, but you couldn’t. You were frozen. 

The black blur grew closer and closer with ease. You couldn’t even get into a position to save yourself, you just continued to stare as the car rammed into your driver’s side. 

The amount of force causing your entire car to flip over and over and over again. Until eventually you landed in a little ditch with your car upside down. 

You don’t know how you were still conscious, but you couldn’t move. Everything in your body ached. 

It was a simple drive. A drive you’ve made countless times. You were going to surprise your sister and your girlfriend at the bureau with their favorite lunch. You know how much stress they’ve been under lately, but then all of a sudden you felt like you were dying in a ditch.

Luckily, with technology these days you were able to use your car to call your girlfriend. The ringing filled the echoing car as your eyes began to grow heavy.

“Hey love, you’re on speaker! What’s up?” JJ’s voice filled the car.

“Hey Y/N,” Emily’s voice said from next to her and you smiled to yourself softly.

You cleared your throat before speaking up, “I’m-I’m in a bit of a situation,”

There was silence on the other end of the phone and you could just imagine their faces right now. They probably looked at each other, each of their smiles dropping.

“What happened?” both of their voice said in unison.

You chuckled softly, “So uh funny story, I was going to surprise you guys today,” you got out as you felt your breathing start to become more ragged, “Bring you your favorite lunch, but as I was a driving a truck came out of nowhere and now I’m outside down in a ditch,” 

“Okay, Y/N, where are you right now?” Emily asked and you could tell her protective older sister was showing. 

You tried to remember where you were driving by, but your mind was starting to become a little fuzzy. You shrugged even though they couldn’t see you, “I’m-I’m not sure, I already got the food so I was on the way to the bureau. I can’t remember,” you admitted and you started panicking even more, “Guys, why can’t I remember?” 

Reid’s voice whispered to both JJ, who was pacing the room, and Emily who was currently bitting on her fingernails, “She’s probably suffering head trauma,” 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” JJ’s voice whispered soothingly into the phone, “Close your eyes and try to think,” 

You closed your eyes, following the exercise the BAU did on countless occasions to help victims remember, but you came up empty, “I don’t know! I can’t! I can’t remember!” you exclaimed as your chest started heaving. 

“It’s gonna be okay, can you move?” JJ asked again, “Are you able to get out of the car?” 

You shook your head, “No, no I can’t move. J, what’s wrong with me?” you whimpered.

It was her turn to shake her head, “Nothing, absolutely nothing. We’re gonna have Penelope track your phone okay? And we’ll be right there to you. Hotch is gonna send an ambulance as soon as we get your location, okay?” 

“You may want to hurry,” you whispered, feeling blood drip down your face, “I don’t know if it’s ketchup from your burgers or blood that’s dripping from my head,”

You reached up to feel your head and looked back at your fingers before smelling it, “No, that’s blood,” 

“Baby girl,” Derek said in a stern voice to Penelope who was trying her best to get the location fast enough.

She looked at him with a nod, “I’m going as fast as I can,” With a few more types at the keyboard there was a ping, “I got it!” 

They all looked at the computer screen, Hotch was already on the phone with the ambulance repeating back her location. Without hesitation, JJ and Emily ran out of the room and towards the car. Everyone else following suit. 

They drove to where you were which wasn’t that far away, literally down the block. You were almost there. 

The girls parked on the side of the road and noticed that no one bothered stopping to help you. The black pickup truck, nowhere to be seen, he probably drove off as soon as he was well enough to leave. 

There was broken glass leading towards the ditch and they slid down it as safely as possible. Your driver’s side door was caved in so they went to the other side to drive and get to you.

“Hey Y/N?” Emily’s voice filled your ears and your ears perked up, despite your eyes threatening to give out on you any second now, “We’re here now, okay? I need you to stay strong, the paramedic is on their way,” 

You smiled, “I don’t know,” was all you could get out, until you calmed your breathing down, “I don’t know if I can stay awake for that long,” 

JJ’s eyes were threatening to spill the tears that were held in her eyes. Derek went over to the passenger’s side to see if he can help get you out. JJ hung out next to your driver’s side and looked at the blood trickling from your head.

“Can you stay awake for me, baby?” JJ asked and you turned your head to look at her best as possible.

You made a pouty face, “I’m really tired JJ,” you whispered, “I think I need to go to bed,” 

Emily finally started breaking down, “No, we’re gonna try something, okay?” She could see you slowly nod, “Okay, it’s Christmas Eve, you’re six years old and I’m eight. We wanted so bad to stay up and see Santa put gifts under a tree and you were following asleep, but I kept waking you up. You need to keep imagining that okay?” 

“Emily, I love you,” you told her as your eyes started drooping more. 

She shook her head, “Hey, no. Santa’s coming soon! We need to stay awake,” she told you. 

Even with Derek’s strength he couldn’t get the car door open. He slammed his hands on the car in frustration, as he looked up at Hotch, “They’re gonna be here in five minutes!” 

“Hotch! We don’t have that kind of time!” Derek screamed.

JJ reached her hand through your broken window, “I love you,” you whispered to her as she rubbed your cheekbone softly.

“You can tell me that when we get you all bandaged up, okay?” she told you and you shook your head.

“I think my head needs a little more than a band-aid,” you joked which caused her to let out a breathy laugh. 

Mission accomplished, you thought to yourself. 

You started to close your eyes and she shook head, “Hey, stay awake, okay?”

“Can you tell me a story?” you whispered, something JJ would do whenever you were having a rough day or the two of you were being lazy on the couch. 

“Will you stay awake for me if I do?” she asked and you nodded.

“I’ll try my best,” 

“It’s Christmas Eve in about twelve years or so. We have two kids who are six and eight. They’re waiting for Santa to come down the chimney so they can see him. They’re telling each other that they need to stay awake,” she begins and looks at Emily who’s breaking down, crying softly in Derek’s arms. 

Her voice starts to become more shaky, “And I’m shaking your arm in bed every so often whispering to you, ‘Love, you need to stay up so we can put the presents on the tree’. But you’re falling in and out of sleep, so I give you a sweet kiss and rip the blanket off of you. You groan in response as you cling onto me,” 

Your eyes start to close, but JJ continues talking, “You say ‘I'm so tempted to call Rossi and tell him to buy a Santa costume just so they can go to bed already.’” you let out a breathy laugh as JJ tries her best not to cry in front of you, “You always pretend to hate the idea of staying up, but you’re secretly happy because it reminds you of how you and Emily used to be when you were young,” 

“In a world where your parents were barely around and the only people you had were each other, waiting for Santa to come reminds you of her,” she finishes telling you, “You need to stay awake, okay? So we can live a life like that, please,” 

The flashing of blue and red lights, along with sirens filled the void of silence. The paramedics and firemen rushing down the ditch to come and rescue you. JJ is moved out of the way and into Emily’s arms. The two of them crying together, holding each other close. 

The firemen breaking the door away, letting the paramedics due their duties as they rushed you onto a gurney. Your eyes were still fluttering open and closed as you tried your best to hold onto the little life that was present in your body. 

Until you couldn’t anymore. 

/ / /

“Love,” JJ’s voice drew out, you fluttered your eyes open to see her staring back at you, “You fell asleep again,” 

You rolled your eyes teasingly, “I’m sorry, these kids are unbreakable. It’s 4 in the morning and I need to sleep if we’re going to be hosting tomorrow. I mean we still have to finish cleaning,” 

It was her turn to roll your eyes as she pressed a soft, yet sweet kiss to your lips. You smiled into it, the feeling of contentment overflowing you. But it’s gone all too soon as the cool Virginian winter air hit your body.

“No! Babe!” you whispered, groaning. 

JJ was sitting up in bed as you wrapped your arms around her waist, clinging onto her like a sloth onto a tree. She let out a laugh before planting a kiss to the top of your head.

“Rossi is on speed dial, I am more than willing to call him,” you mumbled, before placing a kiss to her hip causing her to laugh more.

The two of you just stayed in that position until you couldn’t hear whispers from downstairs anymore. 

You perked your head up, “Do you hear that?” 

“What?” 

“Exactly,” you shot out of bed as quickly, but quietly as possible. She let out a soft giggle before following suit. 

The hard wood floor cold against your bare feet. You looked from the top step to see the kids finally fast asleep on the floor. JJ opened the closet door and grabbed all of their presents, lying them neatly along the tree.

You took the cookies that they made and took small bites out of it before drinking some of the milk. You went over to JJ with a cookie in your hand, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind. 

“Cookie?” you whispered and she nodded gratefully before taking a bite out of it. 

The two of you just swayed from side to side as you embraced the colorful lights of the Christmas tree filling the dark room and your two kids sleeping peacefully on the floor with one another. 

You grabbed your phone from your pocket, shooting a text to Emily who was probably fast asleep. You and JJ got close to the two kids before taking a selfie with them, sending the picture to Emily saying:

They did it again...stayed up much later this time. I’m starting to feel bad for Mom and Dad now!

You grabbed the blanket that was on the couch and laid it over the two kids, as JJ wrote note in cursive thanking them for all the cookies. You placed a kiss to each of their heads before following JJ to bed.

The two of you getting comfortable once more in bed, finally allowing yourselves to try and get some sleep, “Aren’t you glad you stayed awake?” she whispered.

You nodded, softly, thinking back to the time where you almost died, “I’m very glad I stayed awake,” you told her, the double meaning hidden along the sentence. 

But JJ knew, she always knew.

[stanurines1mp]

Apocalypse

twelve

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~~~Promises~~~

Satoru could fucking cry at the sight of the goods Y/N had brought for him in the morning. After the girl he brought home last night had left, he was troubled by guilt. And at the sight of all the food plus the desserts as well as the new pair of sunglasses brought by Y/N, he felt even more guilty.

He almost thought it was impossible to feel so much guilt yet the feeling residing within him proved him otherwise. He had to do something. Apologize.

But what would he apologize for?

He knew he hurt her, somehow. And he really wanted to apologize. He wanted to make things better. He didn't want to hurt her. But what did he do that hurt her in the first place?

If only there was someone he could talk to. Someone who understood him.

All his life, ever since he was born, Satoru had only been deemed as strong. The future of the Jujutsu World, they said. He was viewed as nothing more than just power. Until he got into the Academy.

There, he met the first person to acknowledge him as a person rather than just power. Y/N had actually made him feel normal, not something he's privileged enough to appoint himself as.

Maybe it was because he wasn't able to actually use his powers against her. But Satoru knew it was more than that.

Y/N often asked him if he was okay like he could actually get hurt easily. She knew how powerful he was but constantly, she worried over him.

Y/N wasn't afraid to criticize him or rather, nag his ears off every time he was being reckless. Which wasn't a rare occasion. He must have been a handful for her to handle. Yet she never once showed any doubts in their friendship nor did she ever show hints of wanting to leave him.

It wasn't a question that Satoru loved Y/N.

Even if he was easily deceived regarding the realness of his feelings, Satoru knew that the truth was that he loved her.

Even if everything in the world turned out to be fake, the way his heart bloomed for her would remain real.

Even if the connection they shared was nothing more than just a ploy created by their ancestors, the way he felt for her was real.

And his love for her was rooted deep within his heart.

Deeper than anything the Earth could offer.

If their connection was an after-effect of their ancestors, that would mean that Y/N would probably feel the same way for him as he does for her. But even that could be a lie.

But he knew, no matter what, through everything, Satoru loved Y/N.

She made him feel ordinary in the most special way.

She listened to him talk for hours without complaints.

She allowed him the same honor to listen to her talk for hours about things she loved.

But more than that, she talked to him about the things that bothered her, too. Her past, her family, her worries...

He was the one she chose to talk to regarding all this. And in turn, he talked to her about his troubles, too.

Satoru never really knew how to properly talk to people, how to communicate...

But when he was with her, the words just flew out easily. He could always talk to her. Except when it's regarding her.

Whenever Satoru was troubled by thoughts of her, the person he'd go to would have been the person he once called his best friend alongside Y/N.

Suguru was the one to listen to Satoru talking about Y/N. If he had any doubts about his friendship with the girl, like whether or not he's treating her right, it would be Suguru who'd advise him.

Like Y/N, Suguru viewed Satoru as a normal person, too. Suguru was even worse at criticizing him, even challenging the white-haired shaman to fights because of their different views on life. And because of that, Satoru found himself talking to Suguru the way he could talk to Y/N.

The only two people Satoru could talk to...

Yet one of them was the cause of his worries.

While the other one had...

❣

...left us. WHY?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE US SUGURU?!" Y/N yelled, tears flowing out of her eyes.

"I asked you both to join me. But you refused," the boy only replied dimly.

"WHY DID YOU EVEN WANT TO LEAVE, SUGURU?! WEREN'T YOU HAPPY?!" Y/N cried loudly.

"Happy?" Suguru perked up, a menacing grin haunting his lips. "What about the world we live in makes me happy?"

"But we were supposed to change it! Together!" Y/N sniffled, finally looking straight into his eyes.

"The world cannot be changed with your way. Things will stay the same. I've learned that the hard way. It's time you do, too," he sighed, looking away before reconnecting their eye contact.

Y/N hoped that if she looked into his eyes, she could see that it wasn't him. That it was someone who looked like Suguru, sounded like Suguru, moved like Suguru, but it wasn't actually him.

She wanted that to be the truth. Because she couldn't understand how it had happened.

She couldn't understand how he could just leave her, Satoru, and Shoko to commit such horrible things.

Things he himself hated. Things he was against.

But as much as she wanted to believe that the person standing in front of her wasn't him, she couldn't. Because of the dark eyes that were staring back at her, Y/N knew it was him.

Suguru Geto.

Just not the Suguru she knew.

"If you dare lay a finger on her, I swear to God, you won't live to see another day," Satoru seethed with loath, his betrayed eyes glaring daggers towards Suguru.

A hand over Y/N's figure to shield her from any dangers that risked coming from Suguru, he threatened. Satoru wanted to protect her.

He knew that the Suguru he once called his best friend would never hurt Y/N. After all, Suguru loved Y/N like family. Satoru also knew that the Suguru he once called his best friend would never kill his parents. Let alone the reason be that they are non-sorcerors.

But that Suguru was gone.

Because he did kill his parents along with an entire village of non-sorcerors. So who's to say that he wouldn't hurt Y/N? Satoru couldn't risk it. He had already lost one of his best friends, he couldn't lose her, too. He had to protect her.

He knew she was strong enough to protect herself but wouldn't she be safer if he could contribute to her protection?

He wasn't sure just yet how to get her out of there but he knew that if he was at least blocking Suguru's way to her, it'd already be something. And Satoru was ready to just shield her. But then he felt her hand on his extended arm.

Gently, she pushed his arm away, causing Satoru to look at her. And within the soft beautiful pair of orbs she wore, Satoru recognized the look of pain. Her output of cursed energy was immense. Betrayal, pain, hurt, love...

Her emotions were overwhelming. Even as she was angry, she was crying. Because she was sad, too. Sad that she's losing someone so dear to her. Like how she lost her mother, she was losing someone else who had helped her through her troubles.

"Mind Entanglement," Y/N whispered, eyes sharp against Suguru's widened ones.

A second later, Suguru felt the sharp pain of Y/N's power. Due to the amount of cursed energy that resided within her at that moment, Y/N's technique was stronger.

Suguru's mind wasn't just getting twisted at a normal rate. It was much more painful.

Even Satoru was shocked that Y/N had succumbed to using this technique. After all, this was her least favorite technique because she said it had no other use than to bring pain to someone.

But here she was, using the technique against someone she held dear, going so far as to voice it out when it really wasn't necessary.

"STOP!" Y/N's focus broke upon hearing the screams of two little girls.

The disturbance caused her technique to get lost on Suguru, freeing him from her terror. She saw two little girls standing in front of Suguru, their arms extended in front of him just like how Satoru's arm was extended for her.

They were shielding him. Just like how Satoru was protecting Y/N from the danger that was Suguru, the girls were protecting Suguru from the danger that was Y/N.

She could feel guilt creeping up. Y/N recognized those girls. They were the ones Suguru saved before mass murdering an entire village.

"PLEASE STOP!" The girls cried.

Y/N did. She stopped feeling angry. She stopped villainizing Suguru because she began to doubt.

Was he even evil?

What he did wasn't right but maybe he just needed someone there for him. He was just trying to save those girls. He thought that killing the people who brought trouble for the kids deserved to die as repentance. It wasn't right, that was for sure.

But maybe, Suguru just needed someone to tell him what to do. After all, could Suguru Geto be evil?

Or was he just lost?

If he was, Y/N wanted to be the one to bring him back. Bring him back on the right path. Bring him back home. Back where he'd be safe with her and Satoru and Shoko and everything would go back to the way things were.

That's right, he isn't evil. He was just lost. He was trying his best to be a hero to those kids but he got it wrong. But it's alright, Suguru. I'll bring you home. I'll make sure you find your way back to us again, Suguru. After all, we're the strongest, right?

"I told you two to stay out of this," Suguru grunted, the pain relieving slowly.

He's worried about the kids. I can see that. He really isn't evil. He cares about them. He made a mistake. But he isn't evil. I can still help him. I can still bring him back-

"Satoru!" Y/N gasped, seeing the dagger that was suddenly thrown towards the said boy.

When did that happen? How could it happen? His Infinity? Why didn't he turn it on? Why?

They were close but they couldn't capture Suguru. Even though Satoru wasn't badly injured, the fact that Suguru easily hurt Satoru was enough to cause Y/N into a doubting mess. Questions flooded her mind.

Was he really evil?

Or was it a mistake?

But he hurt Satoru.

Why would he do that if he was just lost?

Amidst her endless doubts, she was sure of one thing. No matter who Suguru was, she wouldn't let him hurt anyone again.

"I won't let him hurt you again, Toru. I promise you that," Y/N whispered, warming Satoru's hands with her own.

His eyes slightly widened with shock at her words. Only Y/N knew that Satoru was in pain.

Sure, it was just a minor injury but his pain was deeper than that. No one else would understand.

After all, he's the strongest sorcerer there will ever be.

But Y/N understood. She understood that because she recognized him as a person. A real person with real feelings.

Satoru felt a small smile forming on his complexion. Despite everything, he felt his heart touched by Y/N once again.

"Thank you, angel," Satoru smiled...

❣

...sweetly, reminiscing the memory that flashed through his mind.

"I won't hurt you again, my Y/N. I promise you that."