#this one took me a couple of hours to form out my thoughts while editing in examples ngl

[xuune]

Hii first of all, I FUCKIN LOVE YOUR ART! ITS GORGEOUS AND IM SURE EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU REALLY GIVE YOUR SOUL INTO THAT🤧 Your color palette looks so good, What do you pay attention to when painting? (Like when do you think its better to use multiply or something like that and etc.)

first off, I'M HAPPY YOU CAN TELL THAT I PUT MY SOUL INTO MY ART!!! im genuinely in love with drawing and am always finding ways to make creating art enjoyable and impress myself with what i can achieve and learn :D

second, thanks for asking your question!! i dont mind answering it, but my response is quite long. here's my thinking process:

(you specified layer modes like multiply, so im gonna gear my answer towards that a bit) 1. REFERENCE SEARCHING IS KING. color is actually extremely hard for me, so i search around for artworks with palettes i'd like to use and study how an artist uses it. some situations i have a clear idea of what i want, but usually the images in my head are extremely vague, so i borrow palettes from various other artworks that fit the vibe of what i want. an example is this one. my main palette reference were from these artworks. im looking at this artist's use of high saturates and how drawings are overlayed on top of each other. while looking at references, im asking myself how is this artist using warm/cools, where are these warm/cools placed, if their illustration used any form of texturing (like halftones, hatching), how do they use their palette to render form/shape/gradient, when/where do they saturate/desaturate their colors. those questions inform my decisions when using colors too.

2. USING LAYER MODES WHEN NECESSARY. i used to be reliant on multiply for everything, which atp i dont do since i can definitely push colors more first before using layer modes. only when i feel like my current colors are lacking do i start tinkering with tone curves and/or brightness/contrast/hue/saturation/luminosity settings. and if that doesn't work, then i start using layer modes. using layer modes do help with achieving certain effects, color corrections, or when i want to fuck around and find out. i think having a better understanding of what these modes can do makes you more decisive on how you can properly utilize them and to achieve a particular look (like using multiply for a cel shaded style). here's an example:

this leads into my next point:

3. BALANCING OUT VALUES. big thing that makes an illustration hard to read is if values blend together which affects the hues and contrast. i check for what elements need to be distinguished from one another and if it can be read clearly. using layer modes can either help with this or not help at all. it's very dependent on the type of layer mode. here's this example where i applied pin light:

back to #2, there are various instances where i'm using layer modes for quick color corrections and/or to help with readability:

other times, i start off having my entire subject in gray and to figure out main shadow/lights (similar to the multiply cel shaded process i linked ealier). im thinking about what this should look like if i only used 2 value tones:

when in doubt though, i check my artwork in grayscale to ensure values aren't overly blended into each other, especially if i didnt start with grayscale like this one:

painting for me takes into consideration a lot of different aspects. im thinking about how colors should interact, where/when to give contrast, checking/balancing out values, etc, but im also making it a time to study off of how other artists use their colors through the references i collected.

hope this answered your question! lmk if there's more :]

[bereft-of-frogs]

🎉 the return of the friday list

hey remember when I used to do this every week for a bit and then I stopped? well, doing it again because this is my blog and no one can stop me

📚 reading/watching/listening to:

🤖 [ audiobook ] Rogue Protocol - Martha Wells: I am having violent thoughts about everyone who ever hurt Murderbot. We're unpacking so much trauma in this book lol. Got less than an hour left, will probably finish it this afternoon. Someone get this robot a warm blanket and a new season of Sanctuary Moon STAT!!

☄️ [ book ] Catalyst - James Luceno: I've had this on my to read list for a long time and thought I'd be ironic. It's ok so far, about a third in. I remain underwhelmed by Luceno's writing of women but it turns out he's not the only one so. Eh. More things not to mention on Reddit (my most downvoted posts have been ones where I’m critical of Luceno, the fanboys LOVE him.)

🌌 [ tv ] The Expanse: I've been annoying enough Expanse-posting every damn day so y'all know where I'm at already and probably more of my feelings than you want. I'm about midway through season 2, everyone is still just a little too mean to each other and bad at their jobs for my tastes, but I'll always have the book versions lol. I think my problem is I just really like it when people communicate and are also good at their jobs, and TV production tends to like when people don't communicate and are bad at their jobs, because it makes for more drama. But idk I personally think that having someone generally competent make a bad decision is better drama but that’s just me. Effects remain unmatched and there are a lot of good things, I just miss my married trauma-bonded ducklings

🛸 [ tv ] The X-Files: Finished season 5! A return to form. I liked season 5 a lot more than 4, I think it took itself more seriously. Onto the first movie tonight. I'm a little nervous about how it will hold up because it is such a trash favorite. I loved this movie when I was a kid, but all I remember about it are bees????

🤖 [ tv ] Murderbot: Watched the first episode last night, will watch the second tonight. Ok so far! Definitely an intro, in that it was just dropping little hints of the deeper plot while remaining relatively shallow in tone. I didn't have as many fears as some fans because I'm not as emotionally attached to the books yet, but it did manage to land on my only one, which was that I felt Sanctuary Moon was just a bit to heavy-handed with the parody. I did feel a tiny bit made fun of. I'm not sure why that is, especially when you compare it to stuff like the fake show in Avenue 5, which I found hilarious, but it was just a tiny bit over the top.

🌿 weekend to dos:

long run + grocery store! (one of my new favorite running trails is right outside the grocery store, it's so convenient)

watch many things including: the first X-Files film (I think they call it 'Fight the Future' now, but when I first watched it, it was just 'The X-Files') -> the new TLOU episode I neglected on Sunday -> second episode that's out of Murderbot -> next up in my Expanse marathon

rainy weekend again so I have some writing things to do including rewriting the last action section that really needs a second pass, a few more edits, and getting this 85k fic at least partially formatted to post. hoping to start posting next Friday, because by the chapter count that will take me to the end of August and that feels very neat. the first couple chapters are ready to go, honestly, it's just chapter 4 that has two lengthy action sequences that are a hot mess right now. short fic rough drafts only after I finish all that. as a treat.

emotionally prepare for ✨ 'corporate team building week'✨ aka do nothing and talk to no one because I'm going to spend 3 days having to talk to a LOT of people and going from 'data entry hermit who doesn't talk to anyone and just listens to audiobooks every day' to 'meet a bunch of strangers and pretend to care about my job' is a bit draining. it is pretty fun though and then everyone scatters back to their various wfh setups and I can return to my audiobooks. I also might go to the good thrift store to find some corporate cosplay lol

🌻 have a good weekend!

[ujimoo]

SMITTEN - Part Six

summary | Jisung never knew the best thing that could happen to him would come from annoying his best friends.

pairing | han jisung x reader

a.n | sorry there isn’t a read more section. i’m on my phone and unable to add one! will try and add one when i can. Also a big thanks again to @awooghan for being my go to for edits/running ideas by and all round bestie!<3

a.a.n | not completely edited, sorry for any silly mistakes!

—

You stare at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the outfit you had just put on. When your eye catches the several other discarded clothes tossed onto your bed, you let out a deep sigh.

You’re blaming the weather for your multiple outfit changes. It’s hard to look cute when you don’t know if it’ll rain today. This has nothing at all to do with your date– fake date with Jisung.

Why would you be worried? He’s just a client, not to mention Hyunjin and Felix’s best friend. And it wasn’t like that was the weirdest way someone has asked to schedule a date…

Shivering at the thought, you slip on your trainers and grab your bag before heading out into the hallway.

The door to the living room is wide open with Lily and Rose lounging across the couch. Hearing the voice of a familiar actor, you stand at the doorway and gasp offendedly when you see what they’re watching.

“What the hell?!”

Both Lily and Rose look over and shrug.

A pout forms on your lips and you cross your arms across your chest. “We’re meant to be watching this together, assholes.”

“Thirst waits for no woman,” Lily laughs to herself, sinking further down into the sofa.

“Then get a drink,” you retort, rolling your eyes.

“Shh.” Rose holds a finger up to you. “Don’t you have a date to get to?”

“He’s a client.”

“One that you should be getting to, you’re going to be late.”

Quickly checking your watch, you curse to yourself before rushing to the door.

“Have fun!” Lily and Rose call out.

Before closing it completely, you stick your head back through the small gap, yelling out, “Don’t you dare watch more without me!”

—

Jisung stares at his shoes as he waits for you to show up. He digs one foot into the grass, twisting it back and forth until he realises he’s just making his shoe dirty. The pure white sole of his Converse would be tainted, and render the thirty minutes he took scrubbing them the other day useless. And these are his good pair, too! He can’t have you catching him dead in dirty shoes, especially his favourite ones.

He instead opts to bounce his leg up and down as he watches a couple snuggle under a tree. Maybe he shouldn’t have come twenty minutes early, but he’s just too excited. How can he not when he has your undivided attention for almost two hours? Maybe you two could be cuddling somewhere— Jisung stops his thoughts short. He can’t jump too far ahead, after all. It’s only the first date— fake date.

Looking down at his outfit, he sighs. He told you when you messaged him yesterday to keep it casual. However, looking at himself now, maybe he went a completely different direction. A white buttoned-up shirt, dark skinny jeans and a pair of sunglasses on his head? He felt like a 70s biker guy straight from Grease… and a foolish one, at that.

He didn’t change that many times. It was no more than three, if you don’t count the number of times he changed just the pants alone. It’s just nothing felt impressive enough, it was your first date– fake date of four. Jisung was on a time limit, he had to woo you and he’s willing to do what it takes.

He looks up when he hears footsteps rushing towards him. You have your bag thrown over your shoulder and your hair is blowing behind you as you run to him.

Jisung can’t help it when his face turns red, a small dopey smile taking control of his lips.

When you stop in front of him, you’re basically dry-heaving for air. Leaning forward, one hand resting on your knee and holding the other up. While at the same time trying not to mentally curse yourself out for how un-cute you feel at that moment.

“Gimme,” you gasp. “One second.”

Chuckling, Jisung nods, and the dopey smile stays on his lips. “It’s fine, don’t worry, take your time.”

You run a hand through your hair to try and tame it. You stand back up straight, matching Jisung’s smile when you notice it.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I promise next time I won’t be.”

“You’re fine,” Jisung affirms. “You’re right on time.”

You don’t need to say anything else, but the look in your eyes is enough for Jisung to tell that you’re thankful. It was only a simple response, but it was enough to bring comfort to you.

“So…” you begin, mindlessly fiddling at the strap on your shoulder. “Where are we going?”

Motioning you to walk, you both begin to slowly wander from the courtyard and out of campus.

“I thought that sometimes the simpler things work well.”

You tilt your head at him, not really understanding what he means and when he notices, he continues.

“We should get to know each other right?” He asks and you nod silently. “So we’ll walk, talk, get to know each other’s deepest and darkest secrets and get some ice cream whilst we do.”

“Deepest and darkest secrets?” You laugh.

Jisung pushes his lips into a line, nodding his head slowly.

“Yes, but you can only find them out after we’ve gotten ice cream.”

“So, where do we begin? If we have to wait for ice cream.”

You watch Jisung as he laughs to himself and you have to tell your heart to keep calm as you notice the way his face lights up as he does so.

You turn your head to look away and clear your throat. When you look back at him, he’s already gazing at you.

He’s smiling lightly and you’re not sure how, but his eyes look like they’re sparkling. “Tell me about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything, everything.” His smile somehow grows.

“Well,” you hum, thinking to yourself. “Where do I begin?”

“I know you work with my best friends,” Jisung comments.

“True, I do and they’re great friends and co-workers.” You smile, “which means if you’re friends with them, it must mean you’re pretty great too.”

Jisung is sure his cheeks are red when your words grace his ears.

You don’t know it, but you’re just adding more reasons to the list of why Jisung is so drawn to you. Because, sure, maybe he can’t pinpoint a single reason, but he sure could give you an essay full.

“Well, we all work together, obviously, my one friend was the one to come up with the idea of the business.”

“So why do you work there?” Jisung asks, causing you to look at him.

“I mean, even though it was my friend’s idea, we all helped to bring it to what it is today. I work there 'cause it’s fun, you meet so many people you know?”

“You do seem a lot more outgoing than I am,” Jisung hums in amusement.

Shrugging your shoulders in response, you look at him with a smile. “You seem plenty outgoing, to me at least.”

“Nah, not really, I just pretend to be you know? But in actual fact, people can be scary.”

“That is very much true.”

Before you knew it, you were both standing outside the ice cream shop. Jisung holds the door open for you and you both seem to sigh happily at the a/c cooling you down.

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth in thought as your eyes scan the menu. Jisung watches you silently with a small smile on his lips. You’re so focused on going over the menu, it’s like you can’t sense the world around you.

He leans closer to you. “What’ya going to get?”

You practically jump out of your skin causing Jisung to burst into laughter as a result. Pushing him away lightly, you turn away from him, wishing for the a/c to cool your face down.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung tries to speak, but he can barely get the words out as he continues to laugh.

“Sure,” you mumble sarcastically.

“I am, I am, I promise.”

You’re not sure how he can smile so widely for so long, but at the same time, you didn’t want him to stop. “To prove it, you can ask whatever you want.”

Your eyes widen, a giggle escaping your lips.

“Your deepest and darkest secret.”

He clicks his fingers and points at you. The brightest smile you had ever seen on his face. “You got it.”

“But seriously,” Jisung’s laughter calms down. “What are you going to get?”

Your lip gutters out as your eyes go back to the menu. It really was too much choice and you felt like you could take all day to choose if you were given the chance.

“Why don’t you surprise me?”

He puts his hands on your shoulders, turns you around and pushes you lightly towards the door. “Wait outside, I’ll bring you the surprise as soon as it’s done.”

—

When you’re outside, you silently wonder if Jisung would notice if you went back inside to take advantage of the store’s A/C. However, you actually wait, somewhat patiently, outside.

Moving out of the way of a couple entering the store hand in hand, you let out a small sigh. What you had told Jisung earlier was true, you did enjoy meeting new people and the scheduled dates were nice. It was rare you had a bad one, some were awkward, but they were generally alright.

But this didn’t mean you didn’t miss having actual romance in your life. You wanted to see someone just because you wanted to and to have someone hold your hand and kiss your face. Whether or not you’d actually admit it aloud was another thing, but inside, your heart was just as desperate for love as the next person.

There wasn’t long to dwell on the thought though as you notice Jisung attempting, and failing, to open the door with his hands full. It was something out of a sketch show making you laugh to yourself for a moment before giving in and actually helping him in his efforts.

He’s soon outside with you without too much fuss and he’s standing there like a child who’s been let loose in a candy store.

“Your surprise ice cream,” he giggles to himself, the ice cream in full display in front of you.

He had gone the classic route, a full ice cream sundae. However, this was not your average sundae with bananas, cherries, whipped cream and a layer of hundreds and thousands. Except, this was in Jisung’s words: “A Jisung Special.”

“There’s whipped cream with chocolate and strawberry sauce, biscuit crumbles. Actual strawberries to simulate this being healthy, all on a bed of cheesecake ice cream, strawberry ice cream and vanilla ice cream.”

You’re smiling before you even know it. Taking it from him, the cool chill from the ice cream carton makes its way through your fingertips. “Why do I feel like this is something you get a lot.”

Jisung shrugs, as he shoves the mini plastic spoon into his own ice cream sundae and brings it up to his mouth in one swoop.

It’s honestly adorable that as soon as he tastes the concoction of his ice cream sundae, he does a little dance in place. It’s like he’s physically holding himself back from busting out a move just from how good the ice cream is.

Taking your own spoon and copying his actions, you take your own bite of the sundae in front of you.

It’s dance-worthy, so so dance-worthy. It’s like the flavours are having their own little party in your mouth, you swore you had never thought to put these things together until now. It’s a seemly obvious choice now that it’s been made aware to you.

“This is… This is amazing!”

Jisung’s laughter fills your ears once more and you never thought you could be as content as you are now.

“See, I told you!”

Before you know it, you’re both wandering again, picking at your sundaes and talking about anything and everything that comes to mind.

“Oh!” You say suddenly, pointing your spoon in Jisung’s direction. “Your deepest and darkest secret!”

“What about it?” Jisung smiles, tilting his head at you.

“Tell me, you promised after all.”

Jisung nods his head to himself, his lips in a thin line again as he thinks to himself. You’re waiting in anticipation, wondering what words will fall from his lips.

“I got it!” Jisung hums.

He stops walking and stares at you with a look in his eyes that you can’t detect. His eyes twinkle and you’re not entirely sure if he’s tearing up.

“My deepest and darkest secret…” He glances away, sighs and nods to himself before looking back at you. “To be honest, I cry at superhero movies a lot, like a lot a lot.”

Your mouth drops slightly, unsure of how to take this news. You can’t read Jisung well enough yet to know if he’s joking or being without a doubt serious. The little crack of a smile clues you into his joke.

Raising an eyebrow, you look at him. “Crying at superhero movies?”

Jisung nods.

“No one ever asks how they’re doing, they’re always expected to be strong.”

“I guess that makes sense…” You mumble to yourself. “So no other deeper darker secret?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jisung nods again, “Cross my fingers.”

You blink at him in confusion.

“That’s not the saying?”

“Are you sure?” He smiles again before holding his hand up to form a finger heart.

You break into a smile, unable to stop the laughter escaping you. Jisung looks at you contently as he watches you laugh to yourself. His heart skips a beat, confirming more to himself how if he could be the one to make you laugh like this forever, he’d take it and then some.

With all of your walking and talking, it’s gotten later in the day and when your laughter starts to calm down, you hold up your hand to block the sunlight from getting into your eyes.

He’s swift about it, you don’t even realise it’s happening until it’s happened when Jisung removes his sunglasses from the top of his head and delicately slides them onto your face.

If anyone were to ask, you’d blame your heated cheeks on the sun sending its rays directly at you. You’d ignore the way your heart picks up the pace as you feel the heat emanating from his fingers and how you miss it when he pulls them away.

“Is that better?” Jisung asks, his voice so soft that you barely hear it.

You’re unable to talk, not trusting your voice as you nod. His smile makes you lightheaded and you’re honestly not sure how you’re going to cope.

—

masterlist | next

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[genyawritesshizz]

Roaring Muscles

Summary: Toshinori meets someone at the gym.

Takes place while he's studying abroad.

Silly little oneshot that I literally wrote in the span of a couple hours. No editing soooo yeah if you see grammatical errors my bad.

I've been wanting to write something for this OC I've had stuck in my head for ages sooo maybe I'll write more with her in it should this be received well and or I find time to do so. We'll see.

2500-word count

Due to the devastating loss of Nana, the looming threat of all for one resurfacing and the inexperience of wielding one for all Gran Torino had sent the freshly UA graduated Toshinori to America. Studying abroad would hopefully buy the aspiring symbol of peace enough time to become what he so desperately wanted to be.

So far, life in America had been every bit of excitement as Yagi had imagined, the initial first month had been the toughest. Adjusting to western culture, no matter how well versed he thought he was, still took getting used to. No western nor action thriller could have properly prepared him for the hustle and bustle of California, yet with his first semester of college on the horizon he pushed himself to do his best.

“Do you want to hit the gym with me?” Looking up from his textbook David, Yagi’s roommate, smiled but inevitably looked back at the words.

“Can’t, got an exam coming up.”

“Already? But the semester just started.”

“Ha, you’re telling me? Unfortunately, Finite Element Analysis waits for no one.” David gave a piteous chuckle and shook his head “Go on ahead without me”

Wishing his friend the best of luck with his studies, Toshinori grabbed his water bottle and headed out, jogging the short distance from his dorm to the gym. The first section of the gym had been dedicated to more normal, everyday gym equipment, for the average human. However, the back half had been optimized for students with stronger, strength-based quirks. Racks that could support thousands of pounds as opposed to hundreds, and plates stacked high into the tons. Toshinori’s bread and butter.

Approaching the open locker area he placed his keys inside, however the clinking of another locker opening beside him guided his gaze over. From the corners of his vision his heart leapt into the back of his throat. 

A woman stood before him, depositing her purse into the locker. Her striking slitted amber eyes focused on the phone held within her hands. Thin eyebrows scrunching as nimble fingers tapped at the screen.

‘She’s bea-’

As the thought entered his mind the slamming of the locker derailed it. Walking away, the woman ventured out, lost to the field of equipment. Fixing his gaze back into the chipped gray paint of his own locker and taking a sip from his water bottle the now flustered hero snapped back to reality. 

Entering his domain he took notice of the already hard at work patrons, eyes scanning for any available racks. Spotting a seemingly unoccupied station he set to work on loading the bar. Laying down on the cooled leather of the bench and adjusting his grip for proper form he began his first set. However, as he racked the weight for a brief rest between sets his eyes caught onto the person in front of him at the squat rack. 

The same woman from the lockers loaded up her own rack. Yagis watched as she carried plate after plate to the lowered bar, eyes widening as he mentally tallied up the weight.

He had only been attending this gym for a few weeks and already he had seen his fair share of overzealous gym rats try their luck at pushing far too heavy of weights, normal civilians trying to show off and inevitably failing. Yagi feared if he had not been there to pick up the slack they would have sustained possible life threatening injuries. Crushed spines, skulls and knees were no laughing matter.

Sitting up from his bench, ready to launch himself over to assist with bated breath, he watched as the woman clipped the bar off and stood before the whopping two thousand pound load. Bending down, keeping her legs spread but firm for a solid base, and placing both hands firmly on the bar she lifted it with ease.

‘She's…she’s reaping it?!’

Slowly with arms straight and back flat she pulled the bar up eight times in a deadlift before letting the bar down with a solid thunk at the end of her first set. 

Now in awe Yagi took a better look at the shocking woman before him. Though facing away he could still map out some distinguishing features. 

First off, she was tall. Far taller than any woman he had seen to date. A ponytail of thick burnt orange curls clipped haphazardly over a long sleeved shirt that hung loosely off her frame. Yet what caught his attention was the tail that sprouted out from her baggy sweatpants. The fuzzy furred appendage swayed to and from, its distinctive black stripes clued the mesmerized man as to what her quirk would be.

“Hey man, are you done with this bench?”

His head whipped around, knocked from his daze, Yagi looked up. A man glared down at him; annoyance written within furrowed brows. 

“Uh yeah let me just finish my set.” Laying back down he quickly reaped out the remaining sets, once again flustered by this mysteriously strong woman.

Moving onto his next exercise he grabbed two dumbbells, taking a seat that faced a mirrored wall and began shoulder pressing the weight.

However, once again curious eyes wondered, looking behind himself through the mirror he spied the woman again. Laying down onto the leg press, weight again loaded far higher than he anticipated she too began the exercise. Now with a clear view of her face he again took note. High cheekbones lined down to a strong jawline, and full expressive lips parted with deep breaths after each push. 

‘She’s truly beautiful… and those ey-’

A solid ‘thunk’ against his head shot his attention back to his own work. He had accidentally brought the dumbbell down too close to his noggin, resulting in a now aching spot.

‘Focus’

Grinding out the remainder of his arm workout, sweat soaked and in need of water Yagi retreated back to his locker. The mysterious woman had vanished, the locker she once occupied left open and empty. A small pit of sadness wailed at the bottom of his stomach, he had hoped to at least say hello. 

The jog back to his dorm filled with thoughts of the woman.

‘What type of animal has a tail like that? A lion? Panther? No, no, not those. Tiger? Yes! A tiger that's it. Tiger quirk. Hm, so she must have enhanced strength. What other abilities does she possess? Maybe she’d fast too?’ Even as he entered the shared space his mind still caught within its curiosity. 

“How was the gym?” David stood within the small kitchenette.

“Hm? oh, It was fine.”  

Nodding and somewhat puzzled at his usually talkative roommate's sudden reluctance, David retreated back to his desk.

The following days every time Toshinori had returned to the gym he searched for her, never intending to be creepy, as in he never sought her out, though his eyes would always wander.  

Walking toward the edges of the room in search of a cable attachment his eyebrows furrowed as the sounds of something being slammed filter into his ears. 

Following the commotion to a closed off room labeled ‘Martial Arts’ he cracked the door open, peeking inside. The brutal slams ricocheted off the small rooms walls. 

‘It’s her.’ 

Repeatedly, faster than Yagis curious eyes could keep up with skin met leather in brutal kicks.

Like a predator to its prey, her gaze held steadfast to the swinging bag. Uncaring to the blond protruding on her hunting grounds.

‘She seems busy. Maybe next time. Yes, next time I’ll talk to her’ 

Once again back at the dorm with his mind full David eyed him skeptically.

“What's with the face?”

“What face?” Finally looking at his roommate Yagi could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks, threatening to leak over to his ears. “That! You’ve got this flustered look on your face. Did something happen at the gym?” 

“No! Nothing happened.” Squinting behind thick rimmed glasses the engineer peered up to bashful roommate. The wavering smile stretched across his chiseled features did little to back his dismissal.  

“Did you meet someone?”

“I mean- No! No i didn’t” 

“You’re a damn bad liar Toshi. Who was it?” Sighing with slumped shoulders he gave up his attempt to hide.

“Fine. Yes, I did see someone there, but I have no idea who they were.”

“You didn’t try to talk to them?”

“No I didn’t.” His bottom lip kicked out just a tad in defeat.   

“I’m surprised, you don’t seem like the shy type.”

“I’m not! But, she looked focused and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Mhm sure.” Teasingly drawing out the last word a smirk spread across the side of David lips. “What did she look like?”

‘Beautiful.’

“Uh she has an animal quirk, a tiger I think and she was in the martial arts room today. Oh and she’s really tall and strong and…” Trailing off the blush finally creeped over at his blatant admiration.

“Oh! I wonder if it was Ellie.”

“You know her?” David could not help but laugh at his friend's excitement, Toshi’s vibrant cerulean eyes widening and beaming into him as if he had just spilled the nation's top secrets.

“She’s also in the hero course, though I think she’s in the other class. My friend Sarah was assigned to make her gear this semester. Like how I’ve been assigned to make yours. I’ve talked to her a bit.”

“I see…” Trailing off with a nod of his head Toshinori felt unsure as to what to say next. Would it have been impolite to ask David to introduce them? Was that the coward's way out? Yagi was no coward.

“Yeah, she seems pretty chill.”

“Chill?” 

‘She’s cold? Is that from her quirk?’ American slang was still something he had to get accustomed to.

“Relaxed, easygoing. You should try talking to her next time.”

“I will!” Determined, his once wavering smile returned to its bold and boisterous shine. Yagi is no coward! He will talk to her!

“I'm going to the gym, do you want to go?”

“Nah, Sarah’s supposed to come over in a bit to study.”Nodding at his dismissal he grabbed his keys and water bottle, ready to head out however just as he turned to leave David yelled back to him. 

“Don’t forget, talk to her!” Giving a seldom thumbs up he began his jog to the gym.

‘She might not even be there, but if she is…’

Entering the designated area he attempted to focus solely on his own leg workout. 

‘If I see her I'll talk to her I-’ The words of encouragement came to a screeching halt as he racked the weight he was squatting and finally gazed out into the spacious gym. 

Laying flat on the bench he had occupied days prior pressing weights there she was, tail flicking and back slightly arched. 

Awaiting for her to finish, so as to not interrupt, he uneasily approached.

‘Just talk to her, afterall David said she was..cold? No that's not the word… Chill! She’s chill!’

“Hi, I-” Before the words could even leave his mouth she got up from the bench and walked away. Stunned at her disregard, yet catching her side profile he quickly zeroed in on the earbuds placed in her small cat-like ears.

‘She can’t hear me…Maybe I shou- NO! I’m going to talk to her!’

Throughout his remaining time at the gym Toshinori had tried to steel his nerves and face his hesitation head on just to simply introduce himself, yet each time he approached she always seemed to slip out of his grasp. 

Defeated once again he settled for a short sprint of the treadmill as a cool down. As his thunderous footsteps pounded away and his thoughts reflected the whirling of the machine next to him shifted his focus.

There she was, pace increasing and vibrant curls bouncing with each step. She moved so agile, gliding into the movements, arms held by her sides moving in tandem.

‘She’s so-’

 His stomach plummeted as his foot caught against the other, the world rapidly turning vertical. Pushing his arms out in an attempt to catch himself only resulted in the poor skin of his wrist to grind against the speeding belt. His hulking body was sent flying off in a colossal heap.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Regaining his senses his eyes opened, right before him she stood, hand outstretched, slitted eyes finally locked onto him. 

The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks, he just fell… in front of her. The first time she’s ever taken notice of him and it's of him embarrassing himself. Just as his mind began its nuclear meltdown the gleam of concern glinting into her eyes shook him away.

“Y-yes, yes, I’m alright.” However, as his own hand reached out to grasp hers a hiss slithered through his clenched teeth.

“Looks like you skinned your arm pretty bad, I’ve got some spray that’ll help with that in my purse, common.”   

Before he could object she heaved Toshinori back to his feet with a single pull and ushered him over to the locker area. 

Standing before the lockers she rummaged through her purse, before bringing out a small bottle wound wash.

“Why do you carry that in your purse?” laughing she bent her wrist to show her tattered knuckles, the skin red and purple.

“Martial arts.”

Silently nodding he watched as she removed the cap, retaking his hand into hers and angled the spray.

“This might sting a bit.”

Indeed it did, yet Yagi’s mind was simply too enraptured to care. Up close he could see the faint stripes racing up her arms, the streaks of auburn in her hair, the golden flakes in her slitted eyes. She was even more ethereal up close.

Unbeknownst to him, she had taken notice of his love drunken expression, not that it was hidden. 

Truth be told she had noticed him here plenty of other times. It was pretty hard to miss someone who managed to be both taller and stronger than her. The way he carried himself screamed power and confidence, yet here within her touch he seemed no better than a pubescent school boy. 

After a few spritz and fanning, she turned back to riffle through her purse once more.

“Wha-”

Cut off by the cool gel of ink gliding against the unmarred side of his arm, Toshinori gazed down at her penmanship. 

He could not believe his eyes.

‘Ellie Brooks xxx-xxx-xxxx Call me.’

‘She... she gave me her number?’

Recapping the pen and depositing it back into her purse she slung the bag over her arm, heading towards the exit.

“YES!” The booming thunderous praise caused her to turn around, finding the man she had just given her number to shocked and reddened at his own outburst. She could not help but laugh.

‘He’s cute.’

[rococospade]

Have some Letho attempts, in oil paints(!)

Art, life and cat updates under the cut.

Art update:

I’ve opened commissions again for the next two months (October-November 2023). The last one in my queue is nearly finished, and I’m excited to share it — though I’ll have to crop the tumblr version substantially. I’ve also been working on tutorial content for digital painting. Monie’s been poking me for years to do one on sheer fabric, and I’m trying to edit that between other tasks. I’ve thought about doing one for scars as well — is there anything you struggle with that you’d be interested to see a tutorial or tip-sheet for?

In terms of personal work I’ve struggled to connect with my digital painting in the last few months, so I’ve been working more with traditional mediums. I love watercolour, I’ve been fiddling with my oil pastels since I don’t want them to go bad (they keep for about 3 years past opening, apparently) and I’ve wanted to try oil painting for years. Last week I finally took the leap and bought some water soluble oil paints: pictured above is my first attempt with them.

Oil paints are slippery little bastards — I had a teacher tell me “it’s like painting with colourful mud” over a decade ago when discussing them, and that sort of prepared me. I finally get it. They move constantly, even if it looks dry it’s likely not, I have no idea what I’m doing, disposal is a pain, I am wrong at every step, and I love them. Oil painting looks so cool! It’s so much easier to rework than acrylics! This is not always a good thing! I’m having a great time :)

Naturally, upon getting a new and notoriously difficult medium, I dispensed with looking up guides (surely things I watched or read months and years ago are sufficient for right now?) and sat down to screw around with the paints a few evenings ago. This resulted in a muddy mess even with a limited palette, but I’m a toxic goblin who doesn’t learn, so I shrugged and started working with the muddy tones to try and fix it.

@silverscalestudios was kind enough to give me a quick and dirty explanation on workflow when they found out what I was doing. Thank you again for that! I spent a while last night reading about various forms of underpainting because of you, and will give brunaille a try. I knew underpaintings were a thing but I didn’t know *why* or how important they really are — it didn’t occur to me the oil colours would be so transparent. Hopefully the next picture will be a little bit neater as a result of your intervention — thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me about it!

I found some useful videos on YouTube as well, but I’m struggling with colour temperature shifts. Some studies might be in order.

As usual I’m not satisfied with anything I do for long. My current goals are to learn more of the body’s simplified muscle groups, simplify my compositions more, and make more illustrations with character interaction as the focus. Also, I guess, to gain some competence with the mediums I’m playing with — but that’s a bonus more than a goal. Oil pastels especially are just so pleasant to work with that even if I hate the result, the process is too enjoyable to complain. And failure is how we learn.

Potentially useful tip, buried for anyone who read this far: assign yourself studies for the projects you’re currently working on. This took me far too long to learn, but if you struggle with doing general studies for the sake of them, do them to prep for a specific painting instead. If you suspect something will be difficult (the hand gesture, the colour scheme, lighting, expression, whatever) grab or make some ref and doing a couple of studies, so you can fail quickly and make ugly versions. It’s a huge timesaver when it comes to the final piece. My big, detailed paintings usually take 10-20 hours, so I’d like to get any difficult elements sorted before I start whenever possible.

For an example of studies for a painting: the four roughly scribbled Letho’s in coloured pencil on this post — those were done after I had my composition sketched onto the canvas, to figure out what I wanted to do for colours. And I’m glad I did! I tried the analogous scheme on a whim, and if I hadn’t done this study, I’d have played it safe and gone with a mostly neutral palette. Next time I’ll also do some lighting studies so I have a detailed plan for those before I start painting. Traditional media in general involves a lot more concrete planning than digital, and working with it is underscoring how many bad habits I have — especially with massively reworking paintings mid-process.

I did have a photo reference I was using for this painting (one of the images from the rogue warrior reference pack by Noah Bradley) with the lighting and hair modified to try to resemble something I’d seen another digital artist do, and by awkwardly tilting an asaro head in my kitchen to figure out how the lighting would work. There’s a relatively common lighting scheme in anime-esque art where just the tip of the nose is lit. It’s cute, but playing with the asaro head, I found that the top half of the area around the mouth should also catch at least a bit of light. The lighting ended up being repainted into something more standard for this, but you can see the triangle of light on the upper mouth area in the wips.

Life update:

Well, it was a nice run, but spouse and I finally caught corona last month >< that was horrible. I got lucky, in that I only had for a week or so and it was a mild case. Now I’ve mostly recovered except for a cough. “Mild” is still probably the sickest I’ve been in my life. Do not recommend. Will be going for the booster as soon as I’m able to, I do not want that shit ever again.

I’ve been doing a bunch of new things like sashiko (satisfying), trying to make pie crust (hard! But delicious, and the ingredients are cheap enough that I don’t cry over failure. Please give making pie crust a try, if you haven’t, it’s really not that complicated — the recipe I’m using only calls for 3-4 ingredients, and it’s so versatile. We’ve had like four quiches in the last week and a half) and trying to cook more. Adulting is hard. I’m also considering more decorative embroidery attempts, because I’m reentering my goth phase and want to customise my clothes with little mushrooms and skulls :) it would be cute.

About the cats:

Cloud is cancer-free! She has to get rechecks every three months, but the little monster made it. She celebrates by trying to sleep with her butthole on my face, which is terrible. I love her dearly. I wish she would stop with the butthole thing though.

Sheik is currently taking her turn as the cat with medical problems. She couldn’t eat for a few days and the vet rushed us in when we called. The vet came in and informed me that she wasn’t eating… because she had gas. It’s in her small intestine, which isn’t supposed to have gas in it for cats? Good job, you little weirdo. She’s getting further checks or it this month.

We also adopted an adolescent cat. He’s bonded very well with Tez, whom our other cats — well, they don’t hate him, but they’re a bit aloof. Tez is very big and a bit like a bowling ball with teeth, and most of our cats are old (or Jetta, who is full of bitter hate) and do not appreciate being tackled by said bowling ball. The kitten loves him, and Tez seems much happier for the company. He’s more gentle with kittens than adults. Not all of the cats are thrilled, but our oldest queens have accepted the kitten, so it should be smoother sailing from here. Unfortunately they like to play at 8am, so I am suddenly on an adult sleep schedule for the first time since working from home. Nothing like a teenage cat launching himself onto your abdomen to get the day started :) They were yelling at each other as I typed this, but now he’s laying beside me like a prince. … and attacking my cardigan. Nevermind.

Currently trying to find more ways to install cat climbs and enrichment, since we’re running out of corners for cat trees. Debating the merits of a cat run — we have very tall walls, which is neat but also I don’t trust these guys not to fall off. If we could spring for a modular system that would be neat.

If you’re getting two cats, pro tip: get two with similar coat patterns but different sizes. You will hate yourself. It’s very funny, and you can disorient any house guests!

[k00299795]

MOVEMENT

I’ve been working on this piece for a while now. A couple weeks ago, before I fell asleep, I had this “vision” of 4x4 of pages laid out in a grid, with little pen drawings in each with tons of empty space. I also got bored that day while I was working so I started using the chipper bags to draw on. So I took this down in my notes app.

I stole a load of these brown bags from work and over the next couple weeks I started doing these fragmented life drawings on the bags and in my sketchbook as I moved through my days, mostly on nights out. The bags became crinkled and folded and ripped but I think this just added to the piece. I think my artistic brain works best when I’m in a chaotic environment an I decide to take myself out of it to capture a moment. Metaphors and thoughts and creativity seem to flow easier in this state. Then it all comes together in a studio with my headphones on, it’s like editing.

I plan to work with photography in the future but I’m enjoying the limitations of not having a camera, because it is pushing me in these different directions to try and capture a moment.

There’s quite a bit more than what’s below but the photo limit is 10 on tumblr, and I kept giving away these drawings as gifts because I was usually on itttttt. I kept some and took a photo of one that i gave away that I felt was special. I also wrote quite of bit of poetry and lyrics with these life drawings that I included in the final piece.

The amount of art and music I’ve engaged with recently has been the burning fire of this piece. My concept for movement, put into a sentence, could be “How being moved by art inspires me to create.” I don’t really like how I have to confine this piece into a word, but I will explain that thoroughly in another post.

I did Eoins painting workshop last week, and this really pushed me to begin putting all of this together. The life drawing was perfect for me because I love quickly trying to capture a moment with just a pen and paper. I decided to meld my two ideas together and have this grid work as a base for these paper drawings.

I spent the week adding and removing and rearranging and until it felt finished to me, it had taken many forms through the week, and especially the last day. I took hours walking around and contemplating about the composition and colours, and adding little details and textures.

(Big shoutout to Johnny McMahon, a huge inspiration for how I used paint and looseness in this piece, I used him for artist research last semester but he deserves the mention again.)

Once I really felt satisfied with the work I hung it up in the hallway (out by the 1st year computer room) and I got a camera from Bob and photographed it.

Superstars being dragged through golden leaves with the whoosh and silence of war.

The rattling begins, rain breaks through the trees and hits the ground floor.

Here comes the morse code of higher powers, telling tales of clowns and paving the way for more.

[joongernaut]

hands to yourself

⇢ pairing(s): johnny suh x reader

⇢ genres: SMUT, established relationship, porn w/o plot basically

⇢ warnings: brief alcohol consumption (reader is not drunk though, everything in this is consensual!), d/s themes, public sex-ish (they don't get caught), vague humiliation kink, some crying, vague brat taming, light degradation, physical restraint, vaginal fingering, oral sex, mouth/throat fucking, dry humping, cumshot

⇢ word count: 3690

⇢ author's note: omg it's been a while since i've wrote for johnny, my beloved. i've actually been sitting on this until i had enough time to re-read and edit and finally wrote out the ending and i like how it came out!🫰🏾 (the way it was supposed to be less than 3k words but whatever moving on-) btw the title is based off the song "hands to yourself" by kyle dion!

✧

The sight in front of you could be described in many ways. But your personal favorite collection of words (you thought it up as you watched your boyfriend get dressed) would have to be ‘temptation on legs’.

You were meeting up with a couple of friends at a casual bar and dance club for the evening and to say that Johnny looked as good as sin would be an absolute understatement.

He always looked good. Johnny was a very handsome man after all, and kept himself properly groomed. But seeing him right now, dressed down in a simple black t-shirt and dark blue jeans with his hair slicked back and his face bare of any makeup, you really couldn't help but marvel at how he could make such a simple style look so put-together and sexy.

Of course, your staring didn't go unnoticed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Johnny questioned, peeking at you from the corner of his eye as he adjusted and tightened the belt around his waist.

He could feel the heat of your gaze on him as he moved around his bedroom to make sure he was ready for tonight. And when he turned his head towards you as you sat atop your shared bed, there you were with a smirk on your face as you blatantly checked him out.

“Like what?” You asked, one leg crossing over the other as you tilted your head to the side innocently. The movement was minuscule, your dress already being on the shorter side so it couldn't have gone up much more, but Johnny’s eyes flickered down at the exposed skin nonetheless before meeting your stare again.

The smirk on your face only widened.

“Like you’re plotting on me.” Johnny replied with a chuckle, turning his attention away from you (much to your dismay) so he could slip his shoes on.

You hummed in response, your lips forming a pout as you looked up towards the ceiling in thought. “And If I said I was…?” Your leg bounced a bit, your eyes looking back down to roam the expanse of Johnny’s broad back and shoulders as he knelt down to tie his shoe laces.

It’s a sight you're used to seeing in a far more intimate state and your thoughts began to wander a bit.

Only a few hours ago, you were clutching onto those same shoulders to keep yourself grounded as Johnny’s lips grazed the most sensitive parts of your body. Your nails dug into the skin of his back as he held you close to his bare chest, almost gently. It was a major contrast from the way his hips met your own, pistoning in and out of your clenching hole to get you to your peak as fast as he could.

Needless to say, it was probably one of your quickest ‘quickie-before-we-leave-the-house’ to date.

“C’mon, I already know what you’re thinking and no,” Johnny spoke up, snapping you out of your thoughts and you finally noticed his presence standing by the bed now, “We gotta go. You can wait until we get back.” He added, cupping the side of your face as his thumb brushed along the apple of your cheek softly.

You narrowed your eyes at him with a pout, hating how he could tell exactly what you were thinking, and he scoffed at the expression before leaning down to kiss it off of your face. “Behave.”

✧

You definitely did not heed Johnny’s warning (not that you took it seriously to begin with) but it was all a part of your plan.

It first started when you had both got into the car.

Johnny was more than okay with being the designated driver between you two for the night so he got into the driver’s seat and made his way to the location of the bar that Mark had sent through text. Only a 13 minute drive, less if there wasn't any traffic or road construction to prolong it.

The first couple of minutes of the car ride went by with the sound of music filling the space as Johnny gave you full reign of the aux cord. Usually you would take this privilege very seriously and curate a particular vibe with your song selections but, with something else in mind, you decided to go with the first random playlist you saw.

Johnny thought nothing of the groovy, sensual song playing at the moment as he hummed along to it. He didn't mind the way your hand had gingerly placed itself on his knee as he steered the wheel. He didn't even budge when you gave the area a small squeeze, an action he would do in your place as well with no sexual undertone to it.

Except your intentions rang clear once your hand slowly traveled upward from Johnny's knee to the inside of his thigh before settling between his legs.

Johnny shot you an almost incredulous look before averting his eyes back to the road quickly. “Didn't I tell you to behave?” He questioned as he adjusted his hold on the wheel. His grip seemed to tighten as he felt your fingertips lightly graze the crotch of his jeans, playing with the zipper idly.

“Yeah, you did but…” You trailed off as you attempted to tug the zipper down, feeling the slight strain of Johnny’s dick against the fabric of his jeans as he started to get a little hard. “Technically, I never agreed to anything.” You watched as his jaw slightly slackened then clenched a second later as you started to drag the zipper down.

You could tell from the action that he was conflicted, thinking about whether to let you continue or not and you almost thought you had won when Johnny allowed you to bring his zipper all the way down.

Before you could make it to the button of his jeans to undo it, however, you were stopped from going any further as he wrapped a hand around your wrist gently and placed it over your lap. “You’re insatiable,” Johnny huffed out with a shake of his head, fixing his pants with one hand before averting his attention back to the road, “Patience, Y/N. Or else.”

You let out a huff of your own before turning your attention back to your phone, swallowing down the taste of defeat yet again.

✧

That had technically been your second warning.

You relented your advances in the car (not without a bratty remark here and there that only amused Johnny further) and made it to the bar without any other incident. You were ‘good’ for the remainder of the drive there.

Now inside of the club was a different story.

Finding Mark was rather easy despite his horrible directions and clear lack of knowledge of the layout of the club, quickly being spotted at the end of the bar on the other side of the room with the rest of the guys. Already having a few shots waiting for you two to arrive you decided to catch up with a couple of your own before attaching yourself to Johnny’s arm.

“I wanna dance.” You said into his ear over the booming music after 30 minutes or so of conversation. Some of the other guys had the same idea as they started to disperse into the crowd with plans of meeting back up within the hour.

“Lead the way, baby.” Johnny said as he looked down at you with a smile, allowing you to tug him by the bicep to the dance floor where the real fun would start.

As soon as you got within the mix of people crowding the dance floor, you turned until your back was pressed flush against Johnny’s chest as he placed his hands gingerly onto your hips.

Nothing out of the ordinary, plenty of the other club-goers were dancing in similar positions and moving along to the music all seemingly in their own little worlds.

It wasn't lost on Johnny that you would be more bold with your touchiness, taking into consideration the nature of your dancing. So, when your arms came up behind you so you could place your hands on the back of his neck as you pressed your ass against him firmly, he simply tightened his hold on your hips and began to sway with your movements.

You circled your hips, he followed. You bent over slightly with an arch in your back, he followed. You ground against him, he ground back. At this point, you were only riling yourself up more the longer you two danced and teased each other. But at least you weren't the only one affected by it.

“Keep it up, baby,” Johnny whispered, his voice going down an octave as he breathed into your ear huskily, “And I promise we won’t make it home.”

A shiver went down your spine at the implication of his words. And then you realized, with satisfaction, that you had him right where you wanted him.

You detached your hands from the back of Johnny’s neck before going to his hands that were still situated on your hips, grasping them as you guided his touch from your sides to the front of your skirt.

Almost in slow motion, you moved his hands down until they reached the bottom of the material where the skirt stopped and your supple thighs began. You crooked your neck back and to the side to get a good look at your boyfriend, meeting his intense stare as you shot him a lazy smirk. “Promise?” You purred, leading his hands between your legs while causing the skirt to inch higher up the closer he got to your center.

Johnny’s eyes flickered around the two of you. This section of the dance floor, much like the rest of the club, had been rather dark despite the dim strobe lights overhead. You were pretty much surrounded by people but they were still unaware of your existence or at least didn't care enough to pay attention to what you were doing.

Yet the mere thought of you so willing and ready to nearly expose yourself, the possibility of people nearby catching you just so Johnny would touch you and feel just how needy you were, made him seethe in anger while simultaneously stirring his cock awake.

It only took a matter of seconds for Johnny to free his hands from you, turning you around to face him with a familiar glint in his eye. “We’re leaving.” He said plainly, the underlying tone in his voice leaving no room for discussion or argument.

That didn't mean you wouldn't retort back, though.

“But we literally just got here,” You pointed out, trying to bite back a smile as Johnny’s eyes narrowed down at you dangerously. “Oh, what? You can't wait?” You taunted him further, knowingly provoking him to react the way you wanted him to.

“Do you really wanna do that? Because I can tell you right now that as soon as we step out of this club, you're gonna get it.” Johnny said, taking a step closer to stare down at you and the action made you a bit nervous as he now towered over you. It reminded you of how easy it was for him to slip into that intimidating role and you couldn't help but feel turned on by it.

“Then let's go.”

✧

Safe to say, no more warnings were going to be given to you. Johnny made it clear that you were to behave yourself and you would get what you wanted, exactly how you wanted it when you got home at the end of the night.

But you didn't listen. And now you were being punished.

The muscles in your arms started to burn the longer Johnny held them above your head with one of his hands, a tight grip around both of your wrists pressing them into the brick wall of the alleyway outside of the club’s back exit. People rarely used it in favor of the front exit or the one at the side and, thankfully, no security was out and about since they were needed more at the entrance and inside of the actual club.

Johnny’s other hand had been between your legs, two fingers deep inside of your pussy at a complete standstill as his thumb idly played with your clit. Every pass over the sensitive bud made you clench around him and squirm, straining against the hold he had on you. It had been well over 20 minutes by now that he had you in this position and you didn't know what ached more, your arms or your core.

“John-Johnny, please–” You tried to speak, only to earn a harsh press against your clit as he cruelly curled his fingers. Johnny found your sweet spot with ease and you gasped at the amount of pressure he applied to it as his thumb began to move over your clit at a quick pace. “Johnny, please what?” He said mockingly, leaning into your face to brush his lips against yours but not enough to kiss you. You whined when he pulled away, chuckling darkly as his fingers started to pump into you unexpectedly fast.

You couldn't help the involuntary movement of your hips as you attempted to fuck yourself on his fingers despite feeling like you wanted to move away with how on edge and overstimulated you were. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening fast from being edged so slowly up until this point. As your orgasm approached closer, you started to babble incoherently.

“You’re gonna make me cum, you’re gonna make me cum! Please, please– fuck!” You nearly screamed out loud when Johnny abruptly took his fingers out of you leaving you empty and your hole clenching around nothing. Your body shook at being edged so close to release once again, the feeling of your orgasm starting to fizzle out enough to make your eyes tear up.

“You didn't listen to me. Why should I listen to you?” Johnny questioned with a quirk of his eyebrow. Your chest heaved slightly as you attempted to slow your breathing, inhaling shakily as Johnny’s fingers slid through your soaked folds with a featherlight touch. It simply wasn't enough.

“M’sorry, okay? Sorry! P-please, I’ll do a-anything!” You pleaded, a few tears slipping from the corners of your eyes. Johnny cooed at this as he wiped away the thin, wet streaks off your cheeks with his thumbs before wiping the saltiness on his tongue. “Anything?” Johnny hummed, looking down at you in mild curiosity.

Without thinking, and much to Johnny’s surprise, you started to lower yourself as much as you could with his hold still locked around your wrists. Your back slid against layers of the brick wall until you were crouched down at an angle that would surely leave your knees feeling some type of way tomorrow.

“Y/N, you really don't have to–”

“I want to. I want it. Please.”

And despite his hesitance at first, paired with the reminder that you hadn't really drank enough to get drunk and were at most a little bit tipsy, Johnny was quick to cave in.

He went to let go of both of your wrists briefly so he could undo his pants until you reached out to stop him. “Can we… stay in the position we were in before?” You mumbled softly, face warming up as he stared down at you. “Ah,” Johnny mused out as he carefully looked over your face before a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth, “You want me to use your mouth, baby? I can do that.”

You let out a small whimper at his words and he re-pinned your wrists with one hand this time as his other started to undo the button of his jeans and unzip them. Johnny pushed them down along with his boxers enough to free his dick from its confines, the articles of clothing bunching up around his taut upper thighs and cupping his balls.

Your thighs squeezed together as your eyes flickered from the sight in front of you up to Johnny as he used his free hand to stroke himself a few times. “Tap me if you need to breathe or need me to stop.” He grunted, bringing his leaking tip to your lips as he lightly smacked your bottom lip with it to get your mouth to open up.

Immediately, your jaw slackened as your tongue lolled out and Johnny wasted no time in sliding himself in. With the slight force of his thrust, the back of your head was now pressed against the brick wall rendering you nearly immobile as Johnny began to fuck your mouth earnestly. “You always get what you want in the end, huh? Little brat.” He laughed breathlessly then groaned out when you moaned around him, sending vibrations through his cock.

Every part of your body felt tense and like it was on fire. From your arms being held up for so long and the crouched position you were in to the stretch of your mouth from the girth of Johnny being stuffed inside of your mouth, your body felt as if it were being pushed to its limit (even though that wasn't entirely the case).

But it felt so good. The deeper he lodged himself, almost hitting the back of your throat and making you gag slightly, the fuzzier your head got. You tried to widen your mouth a bit to fit more of Johnny inside as you mindlessly started to lick the underside of his cock. The shaky breath he let out only fueled you further and you started to bob your head along with his thrusts despite the gagging.

“Fuck, that’s good. You’re doing so good for me.” Johnny praised earning another moan from you, muffled by his ministrations. You wanted to rub your thighs together to alleviate some of the aching between your legs but with the position you were in it was almost impossible to do it by yourself.

Johnny seemed to notice your predicament, feeling your whimpers around him as your thighs shifted to get any angle that would help. He moved his leg forward until it was lodged between your thighs, up under your slightly raised skirt, and pressed right up against your core making you jolt.

“I shouldn't even be doing this since this should be a punishment,” Johnny huffed, the feeling of your panties damp under your skirt against his leg and more than likely sticking to your lower lips making his cock twitch, “But if you’re gonna get off, this is the only way I’ll allow you to do it.”

A surge of heat ran throughout your entire body, a twinge of embarrassment at essentially being told to grind against the man’s leg like some kind of dog in heat. But more than anything, you felt increasingly turned on by the degrading treatment. It was something you would store in the back of your mind to talk to Johnny about later.

As for right now, you adjusted yourself to get a good angle for your clit to get the right amount of friction before moving your hips forward at an unsteady yet decent pace. Johnny started to thrust into your mouth again at the same time as you began to hump his leg with more vigor.

“That’s it, baby, make yourself feel good.” Johnny moaned lowly, the sight below him only bringing him closer to his release as his thrusts became sloppier. Your jaw was a little more than aching now but you wanted to power through it, bobbing your head again while the movement of your hips grew faster.

“Almost there. God, fuck, your mouth… I’m close,” Johnny’s grip around your wrists tightened as a particularly hard thrust made you gag, constricting your throat around him briefly. It was enough to send him over the edge though as he pulled out of your mouth quickly before jerking himself off, only a few tugs of his cock being needed before white ropes covered the lower half of your face and chin.

You shuddered as your own orgasm ripped through you, thighs clamping around Johnny’s leg to ride the rest of your high out for a few seconds until you were sure you’d go into the painful side of overstimulation.

You would have slumped forward onto your knees from the overexertion of your muscles if it weren't for Johnny standing in front of you. He had let go of your wrists finally, rubbing them gently as he helped you up from your position against the wall on wobbly legs. “You alright?” He questioned as he watched you stretch your arms and legs, cracking a few bones, before nodding with a lop-sided smile.

Johnny smiled back lovingly, cupping your cheeks as he looked into your eyes and then scanned over your face taking in the mess he had made. His finger ran through and wiped the remnants of his cum off of your skin, collecting it all before pressing the digit to your lips. You opened your mouth to allow him to press it down onto your tongue before sucking it clean and as you were about to swallow, he pressed his lips against yours and snaked his tongue inside for a messy kiss.

“We’re still going home, right?” You asked with a wiggle of your eyebrow once he detached from your lips, earning a sigh from the man as he adjusted his pants and fixed himself. “Yes, we’re still going home, I’ll text Mark and let him know,” Johnny said as his arm wrapped around your waist, preparing mentally for the complaints that he’d get once the message would be sent. “I need to invest in some handcuffs for you, I swear. These hands get you in trouble more often than not.”

A wide grin spread across your face as you leaned into Johnny’s side, leading the two of you down and out of the alleyway. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

[midnightsnyx]

what if i told you (i love you) part 2 - joel miller

pairing: joel miller!fem reader

chapter summary: when joel and ellie's stay turns out to be longer than expected, you have to figure out how you're going to deal with having him around. word count: 1.9k warnings: insinuated smut, angst, mentions of death, mentions of abortion, little bit of fluff(?), and ellie being a cool big sister! let me know if i missed anything please. also this isn't edited lol sorry authors note: GUYS!!!! WHAT THE HECK! thank you all so so so much from the very bottom of my heart for all the love on the story. comments, reblogs, and likes feed my angsty writing soul <3 y'all are the best! please take caution to the warnings for this chapter and read safely <3 if anyone wants to send thoughts, suggestions ect, here is my ask box. and lastly, if you want to be added to my tag list please fill out this super short form here <3 oh one more thing! I know last chapter was in past tense but I hate writing that unless I’m doing flashbacks so from now on, it’s all present tense unless I do a flashback

masterlist what i write series masterpost

Boston 2018

The first time you could blame it on the bad liquor. The second time, you could say it was the adrenaline from nearly getting killed by a pack of clickers but the third time you found yourself underneath Joel Miller, there was nobody to blame but yourself. You’d been working with him and Tess for a couple years and always thought the two of them were together. However, while on a supply run with just Tess about a year after you met them, you discovered that while there was an initial attraction, things were strictly business between them. You really had no plans to deal with the man further than supply runs and trades but after you had a taste of what could be, you didn’t want to go without. 

You knew that things weren’t exclusive and never would be. It was simply a way for the both of you to blow off steam in this shitty world so after you missed your period not once, but twice, you realized that things might be more complicated than you had planned. Approaching Joel about the situation was not something you were looking forward to so you confided in Tess, who after scolding you, said you had two options. She knew a person who “took care of these problems” and could get your situation resolved with little to no damage or you could do what she thought was unfair, and bring a new life into the world that had become so cruel, most didn’t want to live anyway. You weighed your options for about a week, avoiding Joel whenever he tried to get you alone because all you wanted to do was blurt out that you were pregnant to get it off your chest but somehow, you knew how he would react. 

Everybody had lost someone during the outbreak and although it was never confirmed by Joel, you knew he’d lost a child. Somewhere inside you, there was a small hope that maybe this tiny little life inside you could help fill some of the void but it was smashed when you eventually told him.

His cold expression and cold words were hurtful but not unexpected. 

“How could you be so careless?” 

You’d argued with him for over an hour, the whole “it takes two to tangle” argument but eventually you had enough and told him if he wanted nothing to do with it, this was the time because you weren’t going to wait around forever. So when his last words to you were “leave”, you decided then and there that you were done with Joel Miller. You’d waited a few weeks after Tess asked you to even though you knew that he wouldn’t come around. The day you left, you said goodbye to Tess, telling her where you planned to go and told her if Joel asked about you, not to tell him anything. If you could help it, you planned to never see Joel again.

Jackson, Wyoming 2023

Much to your dismay, Joel is at the dining hall the next morning. He’s sitting with Tommy and Ellie but you can feel his eyes on you while you watch Jack eat his breakfast. It’s like a repeat of yesterday, only this time you’re worried that Hazel may have actually poisned his food. She grumbled when he walked in the doors but didn’t say much. 

Ellie eventually makes her way over to where you and Jack are sitting, shyly asking if she can sit with you and play with Jack. You hesitate but Jack gives you puppy eyes and you can never say no to him. Some of his facial expressions always reminded you of Joel but with the man actually being here now, you’re noticing it much more. You look over at him and his eyes are locked on the three of you sitting together so you look back at Ellie.

“So…” you begin, waiting for her to look up at you and when she does, you can see the mischievous look in her eyes. 

“You’re gonna ask me about Joel,” she grins, “y’know, he was talking to Tommy about you last night. They thought I was asleep but there was a lot of yelling.” 

“What exactly were they saying?” you ask, and she looks back at Jack, taking the piece of food he offers her. 

“I dunno, Joel was grumpy that Tommy didn’t tell him that you were here but Tommy told Joel that you didn’t want him to know,” she says, “he’s always grumpy though, so that’s nothing new.” 

You weren’t planning on asking her but you’re dying to know how exactly Joel ended up dragging a teenager all the way to Wyoming. 

“What’s the deal with you and Joel?” you ask, “not a long lost kid, are you?” 

She just laughs and shakes her head, “nah, I mean he acts like a dad but he’s just fulfilling a request from someone. I’m just cargo.” 

She says it non-chalantly but something in her expression changes, so small you barely notice. It’s there though but before you can question her further, she turns the tables back to you.

“What the deal with you and Joel? I mean, clearly the kid is his… did he-”

“Ellie,” a voice cuts in and you both jump, not noticing that Joel somehow snuck up on the both of you. Before either of you can answer, a little voice speaks up.

“Hi,” Jack says, waving at Joel who once again, looks shocked that there’s a child there. The boy offers him a handful of mushed up fruit and you watch as Joel hesitantly accepts it. 

You’ve watched Joel take down countless clickers and raiders so it amuses you that a toddler scares him. 

Jack takes a loud slurp of his water and tries to hand it to Joel before you take it from him, rolling your eyes. Ellie is watching the interaction with amusement and you can even see Tommy from across the hall, watching closely. 

“Who’re you?” Jack asks, trying to pass Joel more food. You take his plate, ignoring his grumbling. Another thing that Jack does that reminds you of Joel are his mood swings. Some days he is a chatterbox and others, you can barely get a peep out of him. Those days, he reminds you of Joel. 

When Joel looks at you, this time with panic written across his face, you shrug. You’re beginning to find this amusing because who knew all it would take is a toddler to break the big Joel Miller.

“Ellie, I have to go with Tommy for a bit. Don’t leave the four walls of this town,” he points at her when she raises her hands in defense, “I told Maria to keep an eye on you.”

“Don’t worry old man, I think I’ll hang out with these two,” she tells him but then shyly looks at you, “if that's alright.” 

You nod and watch as her face lights up. She goes back to talking to the little boy sitting next to her and you look at Joel who is shifting uncomfortably. 

“Uh, thanks,” he mumbles without looking at you before quickly walking back to Tommy. You watch the two of them leave, the older man casting one more glance you way before his brother pats him on the back firmly.

“He’s got it bad for you,” Ellie says absently, “like real bad. Were you two like, together?”

You stare at her for a solid minute, wondering where the hell this kid came from. Was she this blunt before? Or has Joel corrupted her?

“It’s complicated, and a long story.”

“Is it longer than a week? ‘Cause I think that’s how long we’re staying,” she says and you hide a frown. You’re still trying to find out exactly why they’re here and now you find out they’re only staying a week? You can’t decide if you are relieved or disappointed. 

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” You offer, wanting to get out of this conversation because talking about your non existent relationship with Joel to a 14 year old is at the bottom of your to-do list. “Jack likes seeing the sheep and horses.”

Ellie grins and you can’t help but smile when she offers her hand to Jack who accepts it eagerly. You can tell she’s trying to fill a void and you’re beginning not to mind.

. . .

Later that night after Jack is long asleep, you sit outside on your porch wrapped up in a winter jacket and blanket. It’s cold but you need some fresh air to try and get your thoughts straightened out. Ellie tried to bring up yours and Joel’s history multiple times but eventually gave up on it once she realized you weren’t going to say anything. You haven’t seen Joel since this morning, spending the day with Ellie and Jack, then eating dinner and dropping the girl off at the house she and Joel are staying at before going back to your own and putting your kid to bed.

Joel showing up out of the blue is bringing back too many memories, some good but some bad. 

Suddenly, a voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you curse Joel Miller again for sneaking up on you. Being in Jackson so long is making you let your guard down too much.

“Hey,” he says, standing at the bottom of your porch steps awkwardly, “the kid gone to bed?” 

Small talk. He is trying to make small talk. 

“What do you want, Joel?” You ask shortly, half wanting to leave before he says anything else but if he is seeking you out, you want to know what he is looking for from you.

“I, uh, I wanted to say thanks,” he says stumbling over his words, “for entertaining Ellie today. She was real pleased-”

“I didn’t do it for you,” you snap, “she’s a good kid.”

He just nods, staring at the ground and scuffing his boots on the dirt. You watch as he clears his throat and looks up at you, a sadness in his eyes that you’re not sure you’ve ever seen.

“Tess is gone,” he says, and even though you had your suspicions since she’s not with him and he travelling all the way here, his words feel like a punch in the stomach. 

“How?” 

“She got bit on our way here,” he tells you and you just nod, swallowing back tears. Six years ago, you might’ve let him comfort you but all you want now is to yell or scream at him. Ellie wouldn’t tell you why they were here or why she was with Joel and you know you won’t get anything out of him. You know the only reason for his late night visit is to break the news about Tess.

When you stand up, his mouth opens to protest but he just offers you the closest thing he has to a smile. It’s pitiful. 

You turn to walk inside but his voice stops you. Refusing to look at him, you pause but stay facing the door.

“He seems like a good kid,” he says quietly and you know he’s referring to Jack.

There’s a million things you can say to him, you can turn around and yell or scream at him. You could ask him why? Why did you push me away when I needed you? Why didn’t you want Jack? What hurt you so bad, that you couldn’t accept him?

Instead, you walk inside your house and close the door behind you.

. . .  

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[hldailyupdate]

Yes, you read that correctly. The former One Direction star has put on his very own festival – and it's a guitar bonanza in Málaga with Hinds and The Vaccines on the bill. Rhian Daly finds out why

“I was 16 when I went to my first festival,” Louis Tomlinson recalls towards the end of his headlining set in Málaga on Saturday night (August 28). Beneath his usual stage swagger, there’s a healthy dose of awe coursing through his voice as he looks out over the 15,500 people gathered at Marenostrum Music Castle Park, the beach-side venue that is playing host to this year’s edition of Away From Home Festival. “Never did I think I’d be involved in something like this.”

Tonight, Tomlinson isn’t just headlining a festival on the Costa del Sol – he’s put the whole party together. It’s the second run of the event, which he founded in 2021, and this year has moved to a location far more exotic than its original base of Crystal Palace Bowl in south London.

“It’s always been a dream of mine to create something like this,” the star explains to NME backstage hours earlier. “But it’s always been exactly that – a dream.” As was the case for many people over the last couple of years, the forced halt of normal life in lockdown gave him an opportunity to start thinking about how to turn his festival organiser fantasies into reality. “Around that time, it came back to my mind and I thought it might be a nice thing to do.” The first Away From Home took the form of a free one-dayer intended to “celebrate live music being back” after the pandemic ripped away opportunities for bands to perform.

Think of Tomlinson and your brain probably doesn’t immediately jump to indie music. The 30-year-old solo artist famously got his start after auditioning for The X Factor in 2010 and being put into world-conquering boyband One Direction. Tell anyone outside of his fandom you’re going to a Louis-cruated festival that features the likes of The Vaccines, Hinds and – until a scheduling conflict scuppers his appearance – a DJ set by The Libertines’ Carl Barat, and you’ll be met with reactions of complete bewilderment.

For The Vaccines’ Justin Young, that element of the unexpected was part of the appeal of accepting the invitation to perform. “I was so up for it [when I first heard Louis wanted us to play,” he says. “Probably 90 per cent of festivals are all the exact same line-up these days and I think one of the reasons we really wanted to do this was because it’s really fun playing to audiences that you would never normally play to and, they in turn, will never hear you. You’re sort of this blank canvas and you’re reminded of just how many people are out there that love music, but aren’t necessarily exposed to different corners of the scene.”

23-year-old punter Adriana, who bought her ticket to Away From Home just to see Tomlinson, backs this up: “I hadn’t heard any of the other bands before today.” Like most of the crowd today, she came to the festival early and watched every act. “It’s like getting recommendations from Louis, so I wanted to see what he likes. I really liked all of the artists – I’d probably go see them again at their own shows.”

Speak to Tomlinson and you can easily see his passion for the bands on the bill and beyond. As a kid growing up in Doncaster, the first band he fell in love with was Oasis (you can feel the Gallagher influence in his show, sound and style), while’s quietly been building a reputation as someone willing to give new bands a leg-up.

He describes himself as someone who is, when he has the time, “actively trying to look for new things” to excite him and gushes about Liverpool’s Stone, whom he’s particularly excited to see play at Away From Home today. “My best mate showed me them about four or five months ago and from the first time listening to them, it’s just really, really interesting,” he says. “Watching the live show – which I’ve only seen on YouTube – it looks like fucking chaos. Their lead singer’s an amazing performer. I’m honoured that they agreed to do it.”

Last year, it was reported that Tomlinson made another show of support to Manchester band Muraja, donating £4000 to the group after they had their gear stolen. For Away From Home 2022, he started a competition to find a new act to open the festival. “I’ve always been really interested in the development stage of band’s careers – I think they’re some of the most exciting times,” he explains. “So, you know, any way where I can help benefit [new bands] like that has always been really important to me.”

The festival is, he says, a chance for him to not only showcase rising acts, but also – as Adriana noted – to show his fans the bands that he loves and spends his time listening to. The latest band to be added to that list are Glaswegian four-piece Voodoos, who entered the contest to perform but had no expectations that they would be chosen. After whittling down all the entries, Tomlinson decided they would be the best fit. “We got some great entries, to be fair, but Voodoos just felt the most appropriate with the line-up and again, going off what I love listening to,” he explains.

After the band have performed, singer Piero Marcuccilli tells NME: “It was only one or two days ago that we got an email saying, ‘Do you still want to do this?’” He’s clearly still somewhat surprised to be there. The crowd – as is the case for every band on the day – greeted them warmly and wildly, despite their late addition to the line-up. “I wasn’t sure it was going to be Louis’ fans’ style of music, but they were screaming when we came on stage.”

Voodoos are no strangers to big support slots – they joined DMA’S on their Scottish dates last night and opened for Stereophonics in Dundee this summer – but a slot at Away From Home has given them a valuable opportunity that is getting harder to come by for new bands. “This is the first time we’ve played outside of the UK,” notes drummer Marco Conte. “Louis’s giving bands a leg up and that’s amazing that he can do that.”

The Scots aren’t the only less familiar band on the line-up today. San Diego surf-rockers Sunroom – who previously joined Tomlinson for the North and South American legs of his world tour earlier this year – have made the trip over from the US. “This is definitely the biggest crowd we’ve played to in our whole lives,” frontman Luke Asgian marvels during their set. Moments later, a group of girls at the back of the crowd scream along to every word of the band’s final song.

“It’s been monumentally valuable,” Asgian later tells NME backstage. “It’s definitely put us in front of a ton of people that we never would have been put in front of. It’s super-cool that he’s taken us under his wing.”

Guitarist Ashton Minnich adds: “I think it’s really cool how Louis uses his influence in music to help support smaller bands that he’s interested in.”

Tomlinson is far from the only artist to hold their own festival. There’s been a big rise in events curated by musicians themselves in recent years in all genres, be that Tyler, The Creator’s Camp Flog Gnaw, Justin Vernon and Aaron Dessner’s Eaux Claires or Courtney Barnett’s touring festival Here Or There. The fact that more and more artists are taking control over their own events, says Young, could be down to them “having more control than they’ve ever had before”.

The Vaccines frontman continues: “I think social media has created this kind of democratised way that we consume. All of sudden, you’ve cut out press or labels or management – whatever it may be – and people can speak directly to the artists they love and the fans that follow them. So I think there’s this empowerment of fandom and artists that comes with that.”

For much of the day at Away From Home 2022, the focus might be on other artists, but when it comes to the headline set, all eyes are on Tomlinson. He delivers a performance that wouldn’t feel out of place on the main stages of Reading & Leeds Festival, the guitar-driven sounds of his debut album ‘Walls’ mixing with amped-up versions of One Direction tracks ‘Drag Me Down’ and ‘Little Black Dress’. He throws in a handful of covers into the setlist that share another glimpse into his playlists too – first, a rendition of Catfish And The Bottlemen’s ‘7’, followed later by his take on Kings Of Leon’s ‘Beautiful War’.

In between it all, he airs two new songs – ‘Changes’, which sets lyrical reflection to a sweeping, slow indie sound in the same vein as one of Oasis’ softer moments, and ‘Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy’, on which he ramps up from plaintive verses to a stomping chorus. They’re two hints at where his imminent second album will take him. Although Tomlinson is far from a new artist, he sees his solo journey so far as not too dissimilar to the early days of some of the smaller acts on the festival’s line-up, saying the period around his first album had “an element of me going through my own development stage, but doing it in the public eye”. What’s about to come next will, he adds, “define me better as an artist”.

He grins: “I’m really excited about this next chapter. My first record, I’m immensely proud of it, but it was hard to work out where I stood in the industry coming out of a band the size of One Direction and exactly what One Direction were. Where I’ve got to on this record, I feel really, really proud of.”

“Any way I can help benefit new bands has always been really important to me” – Louis Tomlinson

For this next album, Tomlinson has looked to DMA’S’ last album ‘The Glow’, emboldened by the Australian trio’s open-minded approach to their songwriting. “With my first record, I think I’d been a bit close-minded in the sounds that I wanted to produce,” he says. “There’s a lot of interesting, dance-y elements that they brought into that record with [famed producer] Stuart Price and it just showed me that you can bring in these trendier sounds, but do them in a really authentic way.”

As Tomlinson promises to “follow my heart musically” in the future, he also has grand designs for the future of Away From Home. The plan is for the festival to move to a different location each year, while he says his “biggest dream” for 2023 is to expand the event to two days. Suggest stretching it to something even bigger – three days, multiple stages – and he can’t keep a broad grin from spreading across his face.

“Three days, camping… Yeah, that’d be good,” he beams. “I see it as a long-term thing. We’ve already doubled in size from the first year, so I’m just gonna keep chipping away at it. As long as I can do it, I’ll do it.”

[thefanficmonster]

Power Couple

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing 

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Summary: Sean, Felix, Dave, and Joel welcome Corpse’s girlfriend to a game of Party Animals. It’s her first time playing and she has to deal with a lot more than just the controls and objectives - her boyfriend being a cute, cuddly sweetheart with ulterior motives to his clinginess.

Requested by @susceptible-but-siriusexual. Thank you so much for your request! Hope I captured what you wanted and how you wanted. Feel free to send any other requests you may have XOXO

It’s been one hell of a day. Had to correct twice as many documents as I was originally supposed to at work; found my car with a flat tire in the parking lot as I was about to go home; argued with my boss over the phone while stuck in a traffic jam. It’s been a rough twelve hours, but it has led me here and that’s what I’d rather think about.

By ‘here’ I mean I’m sitting on the couch in Corpse’s recording room, my computer in my lap, my screen displaying the screen to the game Party Animals. The suggestion was Corpse’s. He immediately picked up on my below par mood and wasted no time finding a solution to bright up the remainder of the day, shadowing the shitty portion of it. I am not what you would call a gamer. Sure I’ve played Among Us with Corpse and his friends a few times. Even that I struggle to do because I’m internally fangirling over all the people in the lobby. Yeah, dating a youtuber doesn’t mean you automatically stop gushing over the many content creators on the platform you’ve been watching for quite some time now. Corpse knows how nervous I get so he’s always near me when we play with Sean, Felix and the other. All he has to do is give me that encouraging smile and wink of his and I’m good to go. Side note: massive props to him for going easy on me in Among Us, getting teasingly called ‘simp’ by his friends in the process.

“You’ll love it.“ He promised me over and over again as the game was downloading on my computer.

“I don’t doubt that, Corpse. But I am going in completely blind and I seriously don’t wanna embarrass myself.“ I mumble a quick ‘nor you‘ under my breath, hoping he doesn’t catch it because I’m in for a pep talk if he does. 

To my dismay, he does, “Listen here, you couldn’t embarrass me even if you actively tried to do something outrageous. Most likely scenario, I’d join you in the act.” He ducks in front of the couch so we’re at eye level, his hand coming up to cup my cheek in the sweetest, most comforting gesture ever. “We’ll show em who’s the boss at stealing candy.”

I can’t help but laugh, feeling unable to express just how much this man means to me. Words can’t do the feeling justice.

“Y/N!“

“Y/N!!“

“Corpse Wife has arrived!“

Hearing all the greetings lights a flame in my chest, the warmth spreading all the way to my neck and cheeks. “Hi guys! Missed playing with you!”

“We missed you too!“ Dave, the only one of the gaming gang I’ve actually met in person, replies to me, his words along with all the others’ wrapping around me like a comfort blanket. Despite them knowing I’m a fan of theirs, they’ve always made me feel welcomed, comfortable, nothing less than them.

“You know anything about this game?“ Felix asks me.

I shake my head, almost forgetting he can’t see me, “Corpse told me it’s funny and cute. It sounds like the perfect game for me.” 

“Oh no, this is a game of survival. Survival of the fittest!“ Sean shouts excitedly, a bang following his shout I can only assume was him hitting his desk.

“I’d like to think I’m pretty fit.“ I shrug my shoulders, laughing along with the guys.

“This is the only way to find out if you actually are.“ Joel’s voice comes through my headphones in the form of a tease.

Sean mumbles quietly to himself as he’s deciding how to separate us in two teams. “Guys, a little help here. We all suck at this game, it doesn’t really matter who’s in which team.”

“Actually...“ Felix trails off, “Corpse and Y/N are the ultimate power couple in Among Us. Chances are they will be in this as well. So, the only logical move would be to...“

“I’m taking Y/N, you take Corpse.“ Sean declares. “Joel, Dave, who do you guys wanna be with?“

And the game starts. Sean, Joel and I are the Meowfia while Corpse, Felix and Dave are yet to choose a team name. We throw around snarky, cocky comments at each other, taunting the opposite team as we struggle to take the candy to our respective sides of the map.

“Don’t you dare pull that lever, Dave!“ I launch at Dave, knocking his cute avatar away from the lever, buying Joel and Sean some time to steal back the gummy bear Corpse and Felix took from us.

“Y/N! Joel is out! Help me!“ Sean is freaking out now. I ditch Dave’s unconscious body and run to Sean’s aid. 

As I’m helping him push it towards out area a member from the opposite team latches onto my avatar, weighing me down and hindering me from doing anything.

“Hug!“ Corpse laughs as he has literally turned into a koala, holding onto my avatar.

“Corpse, you know you are actually supposed to hinder Y/N, not hug her. It’s cute though, don’t get me wrong.“ Felix laughs as him and Sean continue to struggle over the gummy bear.

“Nah, his tactic’s great. I can’t do shit.“ I desperately try and shake him off, “Babe, this is unfair. I can’t even be mad at you!“ I whine, staring to panic now that Dave is back to life and Joel is nowhere to be seen.

The round is won by Felix, Dave and Corpse who, if I might add, didn’t let go of me for the rest of the game.

We switch maps, now every man for himself. We’re on the submarine, recreating the Hunger Games with cute fuzzy animals. The thought passes through my mind, causing me to giggle.

“Y/N, you sound exactly like I’d imagine your avatar to sound. You’re so cute.“ Sean’s avatar circles mine a few times as he laughs.

He’s not wrong, my pale blue puppy is indeed cute. Apparently immortal as well.

“How is Y/N still alive?! Holy shit, her and Corpse really are a power couple.“ Dave shrieks when he sees me pick up the freeze gun. “NOOO!“ He shouts, devastated by the fact I shot him, sending him straight to his death.

“Chill, Dave. It’s all cool. Nothing personal.“ I struggle to hide my laughter, “No hard feelings, right?“

“Of course not, love.“ I can tell he grits the sentence through clenched teeth.

“Aw Dave, you are such an ice guy.“ I giggle, now shooting Joel with the gun.

“Someone take that gun from her!“ Sean cries as him and Felix race up the submarine.

Suddenly, the avatar of my boyfriend again wraps itself around mine. I hadn’t seen him in a while, considering Sean knocked him into the ocean earlier in the round. 

“How are you still alive?!“ I try to spin my puppy to get him to let go but he holds on tightly. “Babe, I swear, you are cute and I love you, but this is ridiculous. How and why are you alive?”

“That’s his superpower! He never fucking dies.“ Felix laughs, letting out a yelp when he briefly slips while climbing.

“Immortals!!! Immortals!!!“ Sean breaks out into a song, a song I really like, breaking the restraints I had on my laughter.

“Drop the gun or we’re dying together.“ He says almost seriously. Even though I can only see the back of his head I know he’s grinning.

“A Titanic/Romeo and Juliet mashup? Why not? I can live with dying a double historical death.“ Even though I appear accepting of his offer, I’m still trying to set myself free.

In the end, Sean claims his first win of the game and the rest of us are dead at the bottom of the ocean. Corpse and I did indeed die a Romeo and Juliet/Titanic death, getting everyone in their feels. We make a deal to get together and play again as soon as possible and we all go our separate ways, exiting the Discord call.

*Later that night* 

After a dinner consisting of takeout and two thirds of a shitty romantic comedies, Corpse shifts from next to me, starting to get up from the couch. I am surprised to feel jolted out of a half sleep as the room is now completely silent, the TV being turned off.

“Hey where’re you going?“ I ask groggily, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

“I have some editing to do. Don’t worry, I won’t stay up too late.“ He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

Just as he’s about to walk away, I wrap my arms around his legs. He laughs, catching onto what I’m insinuating. His chuckle brings a smile to my face and butterflies in my belly. No matter how long we date for or how much time we spend together, some things never change. 

“Payback, huh?“ He asks, the smile audible in the question. I keep my eyes shut but nod, my arms still around his legs. “Alright, you koala. You’re coming with me.”

In his recording room, he settles in his chair placing me in his lap in a way that my legs dangling off to the side, my side leaning against his chest, my face hidden in the crook of his neck. We’re both comfortable, content and relaxed.

I don’t know when exactly it happens, but all my mind has registered is a quiet ‘I love you’ and the soft touch of Corpse’s lips on my temple. I manage to reply with an ‘I love you too’ before my sleepiness consumes me, my body completely relaxing against his, the warmth of his body, his scent, the sound of his breathing making me feel safe and loved: the two feelings I want him to feel with the same intensity when I’m in his arms.

Something tells me he does.

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[proserpina-magnus]

☘️peter pettigrew

Hii! Like my other nsfw alphabets, this is a bit choppy and horribly edited. I hope you enjoy, mwah.

Peter Pettigrew Nsfw Alphabet

Reader: tried to make it nb as much as possible

Warning: pure smut and no editing.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Super sweet and gentle, definitely encourages you to take a nap and he'll bring you a snack or get you some water. He’ll rub your back and kiss your hot skin to cool you off. He definitely loves giving you praises and he’s spoil you rotten with his words.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hands, for some odd reason he just finds them so cute whenever you grip his hand for support as you climax or hold his cock.

His favourite body part on himself delphiers between days, but he’s usually very fond of his eyes. He’s very fortunate that he can look at you in such a lewd manner.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He usually always cums in a condom, but he loves cream pies. He, not so surprisingly, likes giving you oral for the exact reason he can taste you, he actually thinks he’s addicted to it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s ashamed to admit, but once he was talking to James about a certain time when he fucked you in the library and James got a hard on. He swore he wouldn’t tell and it’ll be their secret, but he always felt guilty for sexualizing you like that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s okay, he knew some of the terminology due to the other Marauders but with actual hands on experience; he had no idea. He felt a bit nervous during your first time but he didn’t need much help, he’d just pay attention to your reactions and get a clear view of what you’d like and focus on that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes when you ride him, he likes to hold your hips and just let you use him for your heart's desire. If he had to choose another, doggy would be his favourite.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Peter doesn’t know he’s being funny until you have to stop and laugh, he’ll be confused on what he’d say and get a goofy smile on his lips while watching you laugh. Sometimes just the first awkward start of sex and the small giggles feel better than the serious times, but Peter can be really gentle and intimate if he wanted to be.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s somewhat groomed, he doesn’t necessarily care for your hair down there or his own. It’s a bit darker than his head hair, but he trims it sometimes just to keep it neat.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Lots of neck kisses, he needs to constant “I love you’s” during sex even if it’s rough. He’s actually pretty gentle during some moments and cares about your pleasure over his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He actually never liked it, he likes your mouth a lot more even if it was just for cock warming. He’d enjoy your hands better than his, but he also has a somewhat size kink and seeing your much smaller hands take his cock please him a lot more.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

There isn’t necessarily a set number of kinks, he’d love to try anything that isn’t too “weird” as he would call it. He never really likes to stick to one kink, more like spreading them out depending on his mood. One day he’d want to tie you up and the other he’d let you do whatever you wanted. He adores pillow prince(ss) though.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, he’d fuck you in honey dukes, the three break sticks, closets, near the black lake, behind trees and bushes, his bed, your bed, his friends bed, shower, desks, professors desks, anywhere anytime.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Feminine clothing, something about it makes his head spin and he just loves fucking you in dresses. He also has a clothes kink, he’d love to fuck you in his clothes. Don’t even get him started on if you ever decide to wear sexual clothing, it’ll drive him crazy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Major dom and sub roles (like day to day life style) feels him out, he can’t distribute or give out rules, he doesn’t like that type of control over someone or giving someone that control of him. He likes some parts of d/s and he’d definitely be comfortable with some aspects, but not full on life changing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers receiving oral sometimes, but he doesn’t expect it everytime. He loves giving, since he feels like it’s the only thing he’s good at. He’ll run his tongue and suck your sensitive flesh until he’s satisfied, giving you oral is more of a pleasure for himself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Peter’s sex is soft yet rough, sometimes he just takes his time with dragging his cock deep inside of you and pulling it out. Others he just likes to bend you over and fuck you till your dumb. Sometimes he lacks compassion for how you’d take his cock, yet after he’s careful to check you over and soothe out any aches.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Only thing he looks forward to on school days. He’s already emotionally tired but getting a good fuck in a empty classroom or a bathroom stall always helps him get through the day, especially if you tell him you’d wait for him in his dorm later that night.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

It depends what the risk is, Peter likes to fuck you all over the place if he can. He definitely been given warnings by prefects way to many times.James and Sirius always say his animagi should be a bunny with all the fucking they catch you guys doing. Greatest risk he ever took was fucking you during a quidditch game behind the bleachers.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for a couple of rounds, depending if it’s just oral or penetration. He can spend hours just focusing on you, exploring your body and roping out orgasm after orgasm.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely likes using a vibrator, dildos aren’t really his thing. He does have a few anal plugs, but he doesn’t use them as much as he would like too. He usually uses them for your pleasure, but he wouldn’t be opposed to having a cock ring on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s actually a huge tease, he likes to place his hand on your thigh during class and just mindlessly rub his thumb right near your goods. He gives a dumb look like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but his smirk whenever he catches your heavy breaths are apparent he knows exactly what he’s doing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The whimpers are the best part, he rarely moans, just mumble’s of “oh fuck” and heavy breaths. Especially the early morning sex, because his sensitivity is heightened and he’s just making gurgled whined and deep groans.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Honestly, he’d probably want to fuck you infront of his friends. Especially the days when they flirt or tease you, he’d just get this immediate thought to show them that he isn’t sharing you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’d estimate a good 7-9 inches, the exact number isn’t known but all I can say is the girth is the best part.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s in and out, most months it’s normal for a teenage boy but other months he can go days without it, sometimes even weeks. But on the months he’s active, sex is a pretty regular thing everyday to day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Peter is nocturnal, so it rarely depends on what time of day you guys had sex. If it’s on the weekends during midday, he probably will take a nap until dinner. If it’s in the morning… I don’t even think he could stay awake long enough to finish. But late at night it’s a whole new thing, he would probably cuddle you for a few moments until he knew you were asleep and work on his assignments and homework.

--

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[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

[itslottiehere]

hello beautiful people 🤍 long time no see! how are you? i hope you’re all doing well, i missed you so much <3

sooo, in the rest of this post i’m going to explain a little the reason why i needed this break and i think it may be a bit long! so if you want to skip it, totally fine! just don’t click the “read more” thingy <3 

first of all, hello beautiful people! it’s been a couple of weeks, how are you all doing?

so, the main reason why i took this break is the fact that we were at the height of all the drama with dwd and all the news circulating about it, and i just about had it. not only my social media dashboards, but also my mind was filled with incessant news about harry and i couldn’t deal with them anymore. i did a bit of a cleanse, i deleted twitter (which is where most of the toxicity lies in my opinion) and stopped looking for news about harry.

in all honesty, it was just great. i don’t know if this resonates with someone, but personally i felt like my brain finally had time to breathe: for once in over i don’t even know how long since i’ve started following him, i didn’t have news about harry all over my phone and mostly on my mind.

i’ve just started my third year at uni, and while it’s very hard and very difficult to juggle life while going back and forth everyday (with a commute that’s almost of two hours), i’ve been feeling very good about everything. and i’ve not really missed “missing out” on harry.

and you’re probably thinking why the hell i’m telling you this, or perhaps what’s going to happen this blog.

truth is, for both of these, i don’t really know. i don’t know what’s happening really, i know i missed interacting with you because i think of you all as my friends, and as people i would hang out with if we lived closer to each other.

as for harry? i don’t really know. the whole dwd situation left me with a weird taste in my mouth, as i’ve stated in the past. but i’m going to say again and i stand by this: the people a person associates with tell a lot about that person.

and every time i thought it was a good time to come back, another thing happens and i’m back at square one. as of right now, the last news i’ve seen is the palestinian flag he picked up and threw on the ground. (edit: right now it’s a fucking salad dressing. how is this my life.) i don’t know if i have any palestinian followers on here, but if there are, just remember that whatever you decide to do is okay. i’ve seen some people deciding to stop supporting him or writing about him, and i find that choice absolutely right. even if harry is just a face claim, it’s still targeted for a specific audience and it is somewhat a way to support him. over the last few weeks, it’s something i’ve found myself wondering about a lot as well, to be honest.

i pride myself in supporting people — friends, singers, actors, whoever — who share my same values, who fight for those values and who are what i would call good people. please, don’t take this as me saying i don’t think harry isn’t a good person, because i’m not saying that. what i am saying is that there are things i’m not 100% supportive of, and then there are things that are just plain weird and something i wouldn’t do to my fan base if i were a famous person. or just in general to any other human being.

i’m not pretending to know harry personally and i know i’m definitely going to be accused of forming a parasocial relationship with him, and while i can keep trying to tell you all this isn’t true, i know people will be talking all the same.

i’m not a moral judge, and i’m no one to harry and probably to anyone who ends up reading this, so my opinion doesn’t have to mean anything. but if it does, if somehow you resonate with what i’ve been saying, i’m just asking you to make yourself really think about who you’re supporting. it can be so easy to get caught up in appearances, and watching a person you admire under a new light is often a cold shower. but it’s needed at some point.

the talented writers of this fandom — and of the 1d fandom as well ofc — have done an amazing work of creating a version of harry that we all know and love, but that’s just a character, and that has nothing to do with the harry that actually exists and that has responsibility of his own actions. i strongly believe the perception we have of harry most times has more to do with the thousands of stories that we have been exposed to ever since we were kids, than who he really is. or i may just be talking for myself, i don’t know. 

so yeah :) this has literally been all i’ve thought about the sporadic times i’ve thought about harry this last few weeks. i think you can understand why it’s been so hard to come to a decision on what to do from now on: am i still going to write stuff to post on here? am i still going to run this blog?

the answer is shitty but very much real: i really don’t have a clue, i’m just going with the flow.

what i do know is that i missed interacting with you beautiful people, and that i’m going to answer every ask and message i’ve received from you all as soon as this post is up <3 i already want to thank you all so much for leaving me such sweet words, you are all the best people. i love you 🤍

[sky-drgn]

Falling Asleep With You - Chuuya x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1,460 Enjoy~ Edited, but there still might be spelling grammar mistakes

As the day dragged on nothing exciting happened in Yokohama. Chuuya Nakahara was pleased with this fact. It meant all he had to do was paperwork. No going out on missions. No killing or possibly getting killed. Chuuya simply had to fill out reports in his office. The red-haired male would be able to leave his office before the sun starts to fall.

On the other hand, Chuuya's significant other was not having an easy day. The redhead had been receiving text messages from her at least once an hour since the workday started. The day had started off well. (Y/N) had started off saying how she was excited to see Chuuya later in the day for dinner. She had planned to make their favorite food. His lover said she was looking forward to the meal almost as much as she was looking forward to seeing him. However, by the end of the day, (Y/N) had said to just bring over take-out. Too exhausted and annoyed from the day's work to bother cooking. So, knowing how much his girlfriend was looking forward to the night's dinner, he decided to cook and have dinner at his penthouse. Seeing his love’s happy face after a long day at work would be worth it all.

Chuuya was never one for cooking. It was always just himself, so making anything fancy after a long day of work was too much effort. However, seeing the way his love's eyes lit up was worth the effort and then some. He would do anything to see a smile on her face.

With dinner over the couple ended up on the couch to watch whatever was good on TV. Hours passed since they originally moved to the couch and some random movie played. Chuuya laid on his back with (Y/N) laying on his chest, her head comfortably tucked under his chin. The girl in question lay on her stomach as Chuuya's arms wrapped around her securely. The red-haired male was barely paying attention to the movie playing, he was really just enjoying the sweet moment with his girlfriend. Moments like this were rare and he wanted to savor it. He couldn't help but wonder if she was paying attention to the TV. So when he tuned back into reality and focused on his girlfriend, he got his answer in the form of a gentle snore. (Y/N) is fast asleep.

Chuuya couldn't help but tense at the realization that his girlfriend fell asleep so deeply on top of him. They'd been dating for about eight months but they'd never slept over the others' home, nor had they had sex. The Port Mafia executive had known going into the relationship that (Y/N) had never slept with anyone, and he never thought much of it. Not until they were both naked from the waist up a month a half into dating. (Y/N) had reminded him of her virginity and suddenly he couldn’t bring himself to take her innocence. To soil her with his dirty blood-stained hands. The male found himself lucky that his girlfriend didn’t mind stopping since his head wasn’t in it anymore. The pure understanding in her eyes when she reassured him that it was all okay made Chuuya feel like the luckiest man in the world. Now, four months short of a year, Chuuya hasn’t been able to wrap his mind around the idea of soiling his girlfriend. As if there was a small part of him that didn’t trust her- didn’t trust himself. Even with how accepting she had been with discovering his job and all that he’s done. (Y/N) accepts the red-haired male for who he is. The good, the bad, and the in-between. And with all that, she can find it in herself to let all her walls down and fall asleep so innocently on top of him? If the Port Mafia executive so desired, he could do some cruel things while she slept so peacefully. So why? Why is (Y/N) able to let her guard down so easily around him?

The answer is a simple one. One that Chuuya knows. (Y/N) loves him. Chuuya knew this, of course, he knew this. He saw it in everything they’ve done together. The sleeping girl reminds him of this fact often as well. And of course, he loves her back. Chuuya would do anything to make (Y/N) happy. Just as he did early in the evening. Laying with her like this, with (Y/N) fast asleep in his arms, his heart felt so full. It was never a secret that Chuuya loves (Y/N). He’d admit it to anyone that asked. He just never realized just how much he loves her and how much he’s loved in return. If Chuuya didn’t know before, he definitely knew now, (Y/N) is the one. He will marry her one day. No matter what.

While the executive would love to fall asleep right here and now, he wasn’t exactly comfortable. He couldn’t help but wonder how long (Y/N) would be able to stay comfortable. She was in her day clothes after all. While he didn’t have any of her clothes here, he did have a large t-shirt she could wear. And for pants? Well, they are the same height, surely he could find something. He didn’t own many sweat pants, but he was sure he could find a pair somewhere. But first, he had to find an extra toothbrush. Chuuya refused to let his love go to sleep for the night without at least brushing her teeth. So as reluctant as he was to get up, he knew had to. Luckily he was able to do so without waking her.

“Hey, Princess,” Chuuya said gently, shaking his lover awake.

“Hmm... Chuu?”

“I put a spare toothbrush for you in the master bathroom for you. Go brush your teeth then meet me in my room. And no asking questions.”

The sleepy girl did as her boyfriend said, too tired to think much otherwise. The boy in question smiled at his girlfriend walking into the bathroom. All he could think about was how cute she looked and how much he loved her. Though he quickly snapped back to reality and went to his room to look for clothes she could wear to sleep.

“What time is it?” Chuuya heard (Y/N) ask just as he finished putting his own sleepwear on.

“Late, love. I put a shirt for you on the bed. You can change into that to sleep. I’m still looking for sweatpants.”

“Help me change.” (Y/N) yawned.

It took a second for Chuuya to register what his lover said. And when he finally did he turned back to look at her, cheeks dusted pink. “Why can’t you change yourself?”

“Too tired.” And sure enough, (Y/N) looked like she was about to fall asleep sitting up on Chuuya’s bed.

With a sigh, Chuuya walked over to (Y/N) and helped her take off her shirt. The female had gone to take her bra off herself but was failing miserably. Chuuya couldn’t help but laugh as he took the article of clothing off for her.

“Thanks, Chuu.” (Y/N) hummed sleepily. The female putting the oversized t-shirt on herself. Chuuya would never tell, but he got it for an unexpected sleepover like today. He slept in a few times himself though because it was comfortable.

“Yeah yeah. Take your jeans off while I try to find sweatpants again.” Chuuya said with a light laugh.

Chuuya had just about reached his dresser when he heard his girlfriend wine for him to finish taking her pants off. "Don' need pants. This fine. Never sleep in pants anyway 's hot and uncomfy. Shorts better." (Y/N) added after. She also yawned, Chuuya saw it out of the corner of his eye and thought it was adorable.

"Fine, but I don't want to hear it in the morning." The tired redhead went back over even more tired lover. Carefully he removed his pants before stripping down his undershirt and boxers. Collecting all of the worn clothes, he put them in the hamper and then joined his lover in bed.

As soon as Chuuya was in bed, Y/N was cuddled up to his side. The redhead couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute his lover is. Though he cuddled her right back, arms wrapping around his girlfriend keeping her safe there. Chuuya watched as (Y/N) slept. Her even breaths of a deep sleep calming his mind more than anything else could. And sooner than he thought, he found himself falling asleep.

Chuuya got the best sleep he’s had in years that night.

[dystopiandilfs]

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

[crackheadgeminibby]

better for you

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, angst, language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform

not my picture

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.

You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.

As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.

You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.

You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.

Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.

You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.

But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.

You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??

It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.

So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.

A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.

Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?

You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,

“Hello?”

You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”

You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”

“Have you watched the news today?”

You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”

Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”

You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?

“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”

You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.

You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.

chris💙, 11:01pm:

Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍

You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.

You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.

You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.

When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.

You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.

When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.

You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.

5 missed calls

12 messages

You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.

You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.

will, 7:31am:

When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?

you, 7:32am:

i didn’t

yet

will, 7:32am:

You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?

You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.

you, 7:33am:

as you should(:

You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.

chris💙, 5:22am:

Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.

I’m so sorry

Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.

You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.

As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.

You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.

You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.

chris💙, 6:15pm:

I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.

Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?

You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.

you, 6:17pm:

i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning

As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.

chris💙, 6:17pm:

Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?

Can I call you?

You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.

you, 6:18pm:

i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry

chris💙, 6:18pm:

Okay, I’m sorry

Good night

You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.

You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.

You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.

You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.

You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.

You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.

As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.

When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.

As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”

Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”

“Ow… What the fuck?”

You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.

“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”

You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,

“So, London seemed to be very fun.”

Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”

Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”

You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”

“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”

Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”

You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”

Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.

“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”

Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”

“What way?”

You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”

Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”

Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”

Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”

He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”

You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”

“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”

You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”

“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”

You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

“And, baby, I’m sorry.”

You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”

Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”

Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,

“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”

Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”