#this post brought to you by my brother’s high school performance of it

[comfymoth]

and what is stopping me from making a bagi & cellbit frozen au. What is stopping me

[thelastairsimblr]

Family Pack #3

I’m happy to share some sims with you all today! In this post, you’ll find 10 households (40 sims total), each with their own stories and biographies. All of these sims have additional Everyday outfits, skills, bonus traits, Likes and Dislikes, sexual orientations, pronouns, family dynamics, and Lifestyles. You can find them all on the gallery under my Origin ID: TheLastAirSimmer or in the tray files linked under the cut! As always, feel free to tag me if you end up using them.

Guillroy-Jeong

Some families don’t survive a divorce. That wasn’t the case for the Guillory’s; in fact, it only brought Aston and Déon closer. Déon had never considered that the fisherman was experiencing a midlife crisis until he married Willow, a joyful artist half his age. Things were tense initially, but seeing how happy she made Aston was enough to diffuse the tension until Uriel arrived. Déon wants to support this new dynamic, but a needy toddler in the mix might force them to branch out of their bubble.

Carbone

For better or worse, Greta has always been one to stand by her choices. She’s had a song in her heart from a young age, but put her dreams of being a pianist to the side once Albie was born. She works as a teacher to support her family, but hopes one day to play again. However, it would be good enough to see Albie fulfill his own dreams of becoming a professional dancer, temperamental though he may be. Like her mother and brother, Beatrice too is unapologetically developing musical aspirations.

Duggal

When Bikram and Mia wed, they agreed their careers would come first before starting a family. Their first pregnancy surprised them, but Bikram pivoted to adjust to the new circumstances. Mia, however, was eager to get back to work after the birth. As a doctor, she provided enough for Bikram to cut back at the restaurant and care for Parker. There was a cost, though; today, Parker resents Mia. Wanting to avoid repeating that mistake, Mia is keen on loving her boys, the nerdy Antwan and wary Levi.

Salamé

Being raised by Adeline had a profoundly different effect on her kids. Dasia, the eldest, often butted heads with the stubborn matriarch and found comfort in her high school sweetheart Imman. Baqil, the obvious favorite, stayed on the set path and wants to make her proud (coffee is his best friend when it comes to staying on top of his classes). Having married and had kids too young, Dasia and Imman reluctantly moved in and Adeline has since been keen on taking control of the girls’ rearing.

Lavigne-Jarrah

Falling for an artist was not at all what Rahim had planned. As an engineer, he values structure and practicality, but Gabrielle offers him a new lens to see the world through. This interior designer also takes note from her husband and has adopted his attention to detail in her own work. Their daughter Francesca has her moms’ creative spirit and shows promise (even if she focuses more on boys in her class than her painting skills) and Xavier is more interested in gaming than being book smart.

Newkirk

Landon had made many futile attempts to woo his high school crush Johanna, but it wasn’t until he sang a song for her on his guitar that she noticed him. They remain together today, accepting of the others’ quirks. Johanna can often fly off the handle, but Landon is always there to ease her mind. They try to do their part to save the world and instill ecofriendly values in their kids; lessons that young Averie has taken in good spirits. The unpredictable Reagan, however, is a different story.

Tillman

Not long ago, Siobhan was living her dream; traveling and performing music with her friends. But creative differences led to a massive falling out and the band split up. Now directionless, she moved in with her older sister Bianca, who was happy to reconnect after years apart (and maybe get some help with her two boys) but Siobhan may as well be a third child. Desmond and Cale love having their aunt around though, and it’s nice at times to get a reprieve so Bianca can focus on her meditation.

Oertel

A woman of science with a lot of love to give, Sandra knew early on that she wanted to have a child and give them the warm upbringing that she never had. Despite not having a partner, she decided to undergo in-vitro fertilization. She certainly did a good job of instilling Jonas with a high level of confidence (almost to a point of arrogance) and even as a grown man, he has Sandra wrapped around his finger. He doesn’t take his studies seriously, but has a passion for all things outdoors.

Kwame-Zhang

Lily and Daphanie were ready to take on San Myshuno and on their way to becoming a power couple. Or so Lily thought, until Daphanie changed course. After adopting the girls, Daphanie drove a hard bargain on moving to a quieter part of town. She was able to adjust as a fashion designer, sending off submissions from the comfort of her home. Lily however finds herself commuting to the city, unwilling to forfeit her spot as an up-and-coming food critic, despite missing quality time with her family.

Silva-Ortiz

Gustavo takes his values seriously and expects others to do the same. Quite a negotiator, his wife Flavia is able to use her husbands’ political network to pass her green initiatives around town. Though cohesive as a pair, they differed in their parenting styles; Flavia always trusted her sons’ judgement while Gustavo often quarreled with their eldest Robbie, who only wants to party. Averse to conflict, Paolo does as he’s told, even forgoing his own wants to throw himself fully into his studies.

[idonotwanttogrowupbitch]

Rodrick dating his opposite (i'm obsessed with this man, this isn't sane anymore)

Under the same context of the best friends to lovers post, you met because a teacher brought you together to do a project and then Rodrick hated you with his soul, you were too tidy, too responsible and too strict and he hated that, so he kindly decided to go on the road to bother you and make your life miserable for the rest of elementary school.

In high school when you were about 13 he played a joke on you that got a little (too) out of hand, he decided it was a good idea to start a rumor that you had touched that stinky cheese that was in the corner of the basketball court (yes he threw it and passed it around questionable places to make it even more disgusting) and then everyone started to reject you and it got to you, you knew Rodrick had done it so you reported him to your parents, you went to the principal and there the principal told you that from now on you had to get along (she had seen you since you were 5 fighting and she was fed up) and actually it worked.

At the beginning the interaction was a bit forced but you discovered that in spite of being opposite personalities and styles you had things in common and with time you became good friends, even inseparable, the director was very proud and susan was more than happy.

You learned to overcome your personalities, actually you both liked a lot of things that coincided, amusement parks, video games and all that, you really stayed together a lot but after a while you forced Rodrick to do his homework and even though he made a bad face he had made a deal with you.

He started to like you, a lot, when he spent so much time with you he realized that you were great and that he wanted you to be his girlfriend in the future, he actually said with a smile "I'll marry her when I grow up" every time you did him a favor or made him feel good, and even though you saw it as a game Rodrick started to like you without you realizing it.

Once you kissed (an awkward, short and uncomfortable kiss) just to taste the world of grown-ups and in the end you both ended up giving each other a good blow, first legendary kiss. "have you ever kissed anyone?" "no Rodrick, that's disgusting" "haha dummie.. …. do you want to try?" "yuck……okey"

As you got older you liked each other more and more, and then one day you told Rodrick how you felt about it and after a long silence he rushed up to you and kissed you (awkwardly of course, but romantic in Rodrick's way).

Greg loves you, this kid got attached to you like gum as soon as you became friends with his brother, always trying to get you to play video games with him, it's not like he likes you or anything but he really sees you as just another friend.

Rodrick is surprisingly corny, but only when you're in private. He loves cuddling with you he really loves it, once he hugs you you know you won't come out of there for at least 2 hours, he gives you kisses and cuddles up to you and puts his head in the crook of your neck, it's really cute when he gets all soft and whispers really nice things (I live for this Rodrick headcanon I created myself) he has written songs for you, or tried to, and plans one day to perform them with the band for you

i know i promise the best friends to lovers pt 2 but this come to my mind and i HAVE to write it down

[vizthedatum]

CW: self-immolation is a sacred testament that cannot be silenced (Free Palestine)

During my current spiritual awakening as a scientist, healthcare data scientist, writer, and varied-trauma survivor, not only am I growing into myself, I am growing into what it means to truly be a citizen of the world.

I grew up Hindu, and I only really connected with it spiritually to my core after a series of traumatic events I faced in this lifetime, including events I brought on myself.

Being spiritual has brought me so much peace. However, I am still living in a world, where there is so much turbulence, where there is so much suffering.

In so many religions and spiritual practices, the concept of worldly suffering is heavily discussed. Everyone has their own justifications and their own way of mitigating (or propagating) suffering.

In this post, I will be addressing the genocide of human life in the Gaza Strip, along with the various other genocides that have plagued my lifetime, including the Rohingya genocide. The following topics will be mentioned as well: the constructs of hierarchy that somehow lesson some people's lives and elevate others, self-immolation as a spiritually grounded form of protest when your soul cannot find another way, suicide and attempted suicide, complicit-ness, and generational and worldly abuse/trauma.

--

When Aaron Bushnell self-immolated on February 25, 2024, I avoided the news even more than before.

I fully understood why he did it, but it also brought back memories of the time when my brother, in his teenage years, went behind his high school to self-immolate. He failed and went to the hospital with burns. This suicide attempt was one of several that he would face for most of his life.

Aaron did it out of protest to Free Palestine. My brother did it out of an intention to commit suicide because not only did he not want to live, he did not feel wanted in this world.

What makes a person not wanted? What compels whole swaths of people to either protest or support mass murder?

These are some of life's big questions, huh?

Spiritually, I consider self-immolation an act from the soul. My belief stems from my worship of the matriarchal depiction of godly being from Hinduism. She is known by so many names: Mahadevi, Devi, Shakti, Ma, Mahamaya, etc.

One of her forms is Sati. Later, "sati" became the name of the self-immolation practice that widows perform on the pyre of their husband's body, during his funeral.

The term, "sati," stands for nobility and truth in Sanskrit. It's not literally about self-immolation - it's about standing up for what you think is right and being very clear about what is suffocating you to the point of your soul being burned alive.

In short, Sati's story is about her protest of her husband, Shiva, not being respected by her family. She marries Shiva - her godly companion through every reincarnation of the Mahadevi - and her father doesn't like it.

Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu are the male counterparts of the "holy trinity of Hinduism" - they're considered *the supreme Gods.*

Her father prepared a ritual sacrifice event (a yajna) and did not invite his son-in-law. There are so many details to this - including that her father was human (well this is contested since he was a part of Brahma) and had devoted himself to Brahma, that all these figures were among the early humans (and gods) in Hindu mythological lore, and that despite factuality the stories are metaphors and descriptions of the layered nature of humanity.

Sati wanted Shiva to come, but he refused since he wasn't invited. Sati instead went to the yajna and she was humiliated by her entire family. Her husband's name was also tarnished.

She couldn't take it - not only was Shiva in the same class of deitic prolificness as Brahma, Shiva was her husband.

She threw herself in the fire of the yajna and self-immolated. She sacrificed her life's energy to go back into the universe or higher power, because she could not stand for this injustice.

Shiva became so stricken with grief and anger, he destroyed the yajna (later the yajna was restored) and threatened his father-in-law's life.

He took his wife's body and wandered around. 51 pieces of Sati's body fell to the earth and became what is known as the Shakti Pithas.

These 51 sites are in South Asia, and people still pay pilgrimage and worship at these sites.

I've personally only been to one - the one in Kalighat where my maternal family line lives. I'm a strong worshipper of Kali Ma, and I believe she spoke to me there, amongst the crowds, when I was 25.

The number, 51, is contested of course - but that's not the point.

The reason why Hindus make pilgrimage to these sites is because of her great sacrifice. It was a test of divinity.

She recognized what was important to her and that Shiva was indeed a supreme deity - and then she sacrificed her own supremeness to both defend him and herself.

--

In South Asia, self-immolation is spiritually considered a noble act of protest due to this story (and so many other stories).

Unfortunately, it becomes a problem when people are FORCED to self-immolate (as in the case of the sati practice where it's rooted in misogyny and patriarchy) or when people are COMPELLED to self-immolate due to lack of community and mental health resources (such as in the case of my brother).

I don't think it becomes noble or truthful in those instances, even if there are hints of the truth underlying these issues.

I think back to Sylvia Plath in these cases sometimes - she committed suicide by suffocating herself in her oven. Her poetry and words will probably inspire generations upon generations. But I understand why she did it - I am of the opinion that she was surely abused by her husband and traumatized by the lack of support from her community. In short, I believe her husband (whose second wife died from the same method of suicide) was abusing her in the form of narcissistic, sociopathic, or psychopathic abuse to the point where she felt suffocated. Since she could not bring herself to break free, she suffocated herself.

And in the case of mass genocide where a person who has dedicated his life for the protection of humanity (Aaron was a serviceman of the United States Air Force) - I can see why he had to stand up for what he believed to be noble and true.

--

It's hard to look away when someone so young gives up his life for a cause. I think that was precisely the point. He knew he had power as a young, white man serving a militaristic force in America.

There are so many people who are doing nothing in the face of all of these mass genocides in the world. I don't think it is fair to leave the concept of human suffering up to the higher power.

It is not the higher power's job to fix this for us. I believe that to my core.

Being silent about human suffering is being complicit in it.

I know that many people are not able - or they don't even know - to have an impact on the lessening of suffering. But we must do what we can. A quote I often quote on many, many occasions is by Angela Davis: she says: “Sometimes we have to do the work even though we don't yet see a glimmer on the horizon that it's actually going to be possible.” Do something, take inspired action - don't be silent. You don't have to self-immolate, but please consider the sacrifice and the severity of the situation.

[binniesoob]

— THE STORYLINE 2: ATEEZ STORY (canon, until The World 1)

I recommend listening to the playlists below for the full experience while reading! (links to the music videos are going to be included in this post though)

Spotify

Youtube

⚠️ some songs included in the playlists are headcanon and I'm going to talk about them later in another post, so I recommend you to skip them while reading this part if they are not mentioned :)

LET'S START OUR LONG JOURNEY, SHALL WE?

We start our story in the Universe A. Through the Zero: Fever Part. 1 'Diary Film' (paired with the diary entries from the Fever 1 album), we see the struggles that each member has been dealing with, how the group was born, and how being part of it helped with overcoming them.

TW: mentions of depression and death.

Hongjoong is ignored by his family members that are all scattered around. He is lonely and fears being forgotten as if he never existed. He's desperate for something to capture his family attention, hopefully resulting in reuniting it. When the group is formed, the group actually becomes his new real family. They all make music together in their hideout, an abandoned shed.

Yunho had a brother that was passionate about music, he was involved in an accident that costed him his life. When the group is formed, Yunho finds an opportunity to continue his brother's dream, but he also find a person similar to his brother, someone he can seek support and comfort in: Hongjoong.

Seonghwa sees a girl dancing freely with her earphones on: the world and its rules didn't have power over her in that moment, and that made something click inside him. Since then, music never sounded the same again. When the group is formed, he finds his way of being free.

Wooyoung is passionate about dancing but gets anxious when he has to perform in front of others. He meets Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yunho at a street performance. When he danced with them, he wasn’t self-conscious and was able to deliver his best. They support him and help him overcome his stage fright.

San had to move several times and was never been able to establish stable friendships. When he moves to the city where the other members live, he meets them and finally finds real friends he can confide in. Moreover, thanks to Wooyoung, he improves his dancing skills.

Mingi seems to be suffering from depression. In his diary entry from Fever Ep1 he says:

"Music was my heaven, my escape, my one and only relief. When I felt like dying, I would listen to music. I wasn’t afraid of death! People who never lived in poverty would never understand this feeling. People around me looked at me as if I were an alien from another planet, laughing at an immature high school student wanting to die. I guess it is uncommon for someone my age to feel that way."

He didn't have any friends, but he was in the same class as Wooyoung through elementary to high school. Wooyoung approached him, they became friends, and finally brought him to the hideout where he met the others.

Jongho was a basketball player but injured his ankle, resulting in the impossibility to continue on with this path. He had everything planned and lost himself after losing his dream. When the group is formed, he finds a new purpose.

Yeosang is the last one to join the group. His parents had everything planned for him, all he had to do was met their expectations. To escape routine, he stars dismantling and reassembling instruments. One day, while he is outside, he's attracted by the music coming from the hideout: he enters and meets the members and they ask him if he knows how to work a drone. He starts hanging out with them, dancing and making music together, and he feels alive for the first time.

The backgrounds of the members are also hinted through the intro 'Dear Diary: 2016.07.29', lyrics:

Dear Diary transitions into Fever (click for english lyrics). The boys, now a group, start hanging out at their hideout. They dance and make music, and through it they express and talk about their struggles. As Hongjoong himself said, Fever 1 focuses on these events.

We can connect Fever with another scene seen in the Diary Film (minute 12:33) and explained in Fever Ep1 diary entries: Jongho and Mingi have a fight because of Mingi's fear of them not being able to make their dream come true. After, they all divide to go back home. Yeosang backs out and, as it is then revealed in his diary entry in the form of a letter to his father in Fever 2 (read here), his father disapproved of Yeosang's new dream and closed the hideout.

In another scene from the Diary Film (minute 4:37), we see Wooyoung participating in a dance battle. He is able to perform and fight his stage fright thanks to what the other members said to him to encourage him. This is where Good Little Boy and To The Beat (that can be heard during the clip) fit.

After the dance battle, Wooyoung comes back to the hideout only to find it closed.

All the members are discouraged and separated again. The groups scatters, as Hongjoong explains in the Fever Ep1 diary outro.

How are the members going to reunite?

As it can be seen in the beginning and in the ending of the Diary Film, Hongjoong is alone in the hideout, where he managed to enter again, and he dreams a man in a black fedora who gives him the Cromer:

The man in the black fedora, whose eyes you could only see through his mask, a somehow familiar, but tired eyes. “You lost your dream not because of the tough reality, but because you guys decided to. Get rid of the idea that the world you see is everything. There are many dimensions and many realities in this world. The world I am in, the world you are in, are all real. I want to tell you everything, but I don’t have much time right now.”

“What is this?”

“The Cromer. The key to connecting the world.” He had a shining hourglass in his hand.

This little hourglass was the key to connecting the world? I carefully picked up the Cromer. At that moment, the man went back a few steps and spat out his last words. “Follow your heart, the map is there.”

When I looked back up from the Cromer, the man was already gone.

When Hongjoong wakes up, the Cromer is in front of him. He turns it and then he hears steps, all the other members appear at the same time in the hideout: Hongjoong teleported them there using the Cromer.

Now, the first title track that we can finally talk about it's INCEPTION

Through the music video, we see the members dancing together and open up about their struggles.

We see Hongjoong in the hideout (the members became his family), Yunho in his brother room, Seonghwa in the place where he saw the girl, Wooyoung in the place where the dance battle happened, San that had to constantly move, Mingi isolated, Jongho who had to give up his basketball dream, Yeosang surrounded by feathers.

In particular, the symbolism of the birds associated with Yeosang is going to be seen often. The first time it was included in a scene of the Diary Film (minute 7:16) where Yeosang is surrounded by white birds in cages. It clearly represents Yeosang being like a bird in a cage because of his parents expectations. In Inception the feathers are free and flying around: it represents Yeosang now free to choose his path.

At the end of the mv we see Hongjoong running at the copy of himself laying on the bed, only to end up in another room while waking up the others. This is what we explained earlier with the Diary Film, it's just done through symbolism: Hongjoong is asleep dreaming the man in the black fedora, when he wakes up he has the Cromer and the other members are suddenly with him again.

Next we have Thanxx: Ateez start to rebel, to refuse to just obey adults instead of finding out their path on their own (click on the title to read english lyrics). At the end of the music video we have a parade with a ship and whales in the sky: the group is about to start their jouney as pirates.

Whales are commonly associated with inner truth, physical and emotional healing, importance of family and community, emotional rebirth, communication: "As a totem, the whale teaches you about listening to your inner voice, understanding the impact your emotions have on your everyday life, and following your own truth. When the whale enters your life, it may be time to closely examine where you are, the actions and emotions that have brought you to this point, and what you can do to alleviate existing drama and unrest and find peace. Those who have the whale as their animal totem are in touch with true reality. They are nurturers and go-getters who understand there is more to this life than meets the eye." (source)

Connects pretty well with Thanxx and Fever Ep1 in general, right?

Now, in the last clip we see the ship that sailed with the intro of Fireworks (I'm the One) in the background 👀 why is that? To explain we need to add some extras not included in mvs!

At the end of 2021 Ateez had an online concert to close the Fever era, called XR Show Fever: the eXtended edition, where lore scenes were included. From now on, we are going to mention the concert a few times.

In this scene at minute 1:42 of the concert clips, we can see the members reunited in the hideout joking around and dancing together.

Plot hole: they are singing and dancing to Eternal Sunshine, so my first thought was "this is where it fits!", and you might have too, but, considering its lyrics and music video, I don't think so, I think it actually fits later in the storyline. They might have started writing it at this point of the storyline though. Anyway, I'm going to talk about it later on in the post dedicated to headcanons.

Now, back to the canon storyline.

They turn the Cromer (minute 3:55) and they have a dream about being in a desert dressed in black fedoras: they dream of being Halateez, that they still don't know, so this is a premonition. What are Halateez doing there?

The boys are once again in the hideout and, as it is also narrated in the diaries from Fever 2, the members are interrupted by the attack of a man dressed in white who wants the Cromer. Hongjoong throws a bottle to distract him and the members use the Cromer for the first time to move through universes.

We now enter Universe Z !!

Ateez find themselves in Universe Z: they are still not aware of it but, since the surroundings are similar to those of their universe, they are able to move around. Men dressed in white like the one in the hideout attack them in the woods and succeed in taking the Cromer, Ateez are rescued by two siblings who call themselves Grimm. The boy explains that the girl can't speak because the white men took away her voice. He also explains that this world is called Strictland because the government established a stable policy that puts the blame on human emotions for causing crimes and terrorism. Consequentially, they banned arts and music.

Here things start to get twisted because it's where Ateez and Halateez stories intertwine. I'm going to try my best to explain things the easiest way possible based on what info we need now, and later we are gonna go back and connect the dots, trust me 🤓

The siblings continue their narration: one day, men in black fedoras started to appear. They sung and performed in the streets to awaken emotions in people once again: other rebels started to appear and they formed a resistance, calling themselves the Black Pirates. Yes, this refers to Hala Hala!

Now, in terms of chronological order of the storyline, since Hala Hala is in the Halateez past but we are following the Ateez chronological order of the storyline, as Hongjoong said himself, it doesn’t fit here (yet). Same thing with the next song I'm gonna mention.

The government repeatedly failed to arrest the Black Pirates due to them being able to teleport using the Cromer. That's why they created the Android Guardians - the white men who attacked Ateez and took the Cromer - and thanks to them, they succeeded in capturing the men in black fedoras.

Remember when before Ateez dreamed themselves in black fedoras in the desert? Desire is the song that talks about Halateez being in the grip of illusions (we are going to explain in a second what are they caused by) and captured, as it is shown in the Desire performance at the XR Show Fever: the eXtended edition.

So, to go back to Universe A, our boys need the Cromer: the siblings reveal that the Android Guardians probably took it to their bunker, but the only person who knows where its position is is Left Eye, the manager of the Strictland dump. 

Ateez go to the dump where trash is continuously being burned, producing a yellow smoke that causes hallucinations - yup, the illusions that affect Halateez in Desire! The group decides to divide: one subunit is going to look for the Grimms girl's voice to thank the siblings, while the other one is going to talk to Left Eye and try to locate the Android Guardians bunker.

Fires, yellow smoke, dump... anything familiar? It's the Fireworks (I'm The One) music video of course!

The girl voice is hidden in a cave, Jongho wears a gas mask to protect himself from the smoke but something goes wrong and he has an hallucination, a deja-vu of him playing basketball. Yeosang understands something is wrong and enters the cave saving him.

Meanwhile, the others have a confrontation with Left Eye, who lost his daughter because of the new order of the society, and hasn't been able to grief because of the hallucinations. Yunho is the one confronting and helping him: since he lost his brother he can empathise with him. They take Left Eye to a place where the smoke is thin and he comes to his senses.

Now that Left Eye is able to explain himself, he reveals that the Android Guardians bunker is in an island. The group reunite, the Grimm girl has her voice again, Left Eye procures a ship: it is now...

...Intro: Long Journey, Pirate King and Treasure o'clock 😌. Ateez sailed for their first journey in search of their first treasure: the Cromer. In the music videos we see them in the abandoned island where the bunker is:

Left Eye and the siblings wait in the ship while Ateez enter the bunker. It's in fact an old gallery, full of art pieces and artifacts that were banned from the city. They go towards the exhibition, where they find the men in the black fedoras, Halateez, in glass prisons. Hongjoong's gets close to one and... (From the Fever 3 diaries)

I threw myself to the glass wall. It did not move. I bumped into it again. The man finally heard the noise and saw me. “Finally, you are here.” He said, and he barely took off his mask. As I saw his face, I was in shock. He was me. The man had exactly the same face as mine.

“Listen, we called you here.” In the midst of these strange incidents, I could only shake my head. “We are captured here, and somebody has to do our work. You may have noticed it. This world needs a change.”

“Why does it have to be us? Why do we share the same face?” I kept questioning him and tried to break the glass wall between us. But not even a small crack.

“I don’t have enough time to tell you the whole story. We are going to be seen by the guardians when the smoke fades. Do what I do.” The man put his hand on the glass wall and told us to copy him. So we put our hands like he did. “We all face walls. Sometimes we think that our lives would be happier without walls but that is not true. If we earn things easily, we could lose them easily.”

The man and I faced each other, and I felt some indescribable energy swirling near us, regardless of this unbelievable reality - the men with the same faces as us, endless questions about this world and everything. Soon after, we were wearing their black suits without even noticing.

Halateez explain that what the Android Guardians actually burn are memories of people, that's why the yellow smoke produces hallucinations related to memories, like we saw with Jongho incident before at the dump. San tries to save some of the memories and Seonghwa shouts that he can't see Yeosang anymore: he found the Cromer and the Android Guardians are running after him.

He runs to the members but gets captured, so he throws the Cromer to Hongjoong. Initially, the group thinks of exchanging Yeosang with the Cromer, but they have no guarantee that the Android Guardians are not going to capture them, so Yeosang begs the members to leave him behind and escape with the Cromer. The members don't want to, so they throw the sandglass back at the Androids. Yeosang is the one that catches it though: he turns it and breaks it to make sure that the Guardians are not able to follow Ateez. Hongjoong reaches for Yeosang hand but he doesn’t succeed in taking him away with them.

Familiar? All of this can be seen in the Say My Name and Deja-vu music videos!

(Contrary to Hala Hala & Desire, Say my name does fit here because we see Ateez meeting Halateez, and not just Halateez.)

NB: Deja vu also has some scenes that still don't fit the storyline, as you'll probably recognise once you rewatch it after reading this.

The plot hole in between Deja-vu and the next songs is now filled once again by the diaries (Fever Epilogue).

Ateez are feeling discouraged and hopeless after leaving Yeosang behind. They are back in the hideout and realise that they didn't return to their present time Universe A, but in the past, before Yunho’s brother incident. They don't know how to go back to Universe Z to save Yeosang, until Seonghwa sees the Cromer in a picture of an article featuring the attempted robbery of the Mayan relic exhibited at the National Museum of Korea, ‘The Hourglass that Captures the Lunar Movement’.

This attempted robbery was the work of three believers of Sciensalvar, a religion established in 1999 by a scientist named Henry Jo, who frequently mentioned a Mayan relic, an hourglass whose energy condensed inside of it imitates the moon’s movement: the Cromer uses the moon to travel through Universes.

Hongjoong proposes to steal the Cromer and use it to go save Yeosang. The members, after giving some thought, one by one start to agree with the plan. Not Yunho though, who wanted to stay and reunite with his brother and not lose him again. They respect his decision and leave for the museum.

Yunho is together with his brother when the two see the members being held hostage by Henry Jo on the tv news: Yunho takes his old motorcycle and orders his brother to stay inside, no matter what.

Ateez and Henry Jo's confrontation is interrupted by Yunho’s arrival: thanks to the confusion created by his group of motorcycle friends, Ateez is able to take the cromer away from Henry Jo and escape with the riders. But the scientist follows them with a car, provoking an incident where Yunho’s brother, who was was heading towards the museum after seeing Yunho’s motorcycle on the news, dies. The past couldn't be changed.

Ateez use the Cromer once again.

Yeosang is in the Guardians bunker, imprisoned in a glass cell like Halateez were, and he's not the only one: members of the resistance, supporters of the Black Pirates, were stolen of their biological energy and covered with a black veil when not alive anymore. Among them there are the Grimm siblings.

Suddenly, the door of the bunker is thrown open: Ateez, dressed up as Halateez, are fighting the Android Guardians. Seonghwa's voice calls Yeosang.

Yeosang's rescue can be seen in the Kingdom performance of Answer: Ode to Joy, track included in the Fever Epilogue album.

Once Ateez come back to the Strictland Black Pirates hideout, they discuss with Left Eye and decide to start working in Halateez's place by attacking and getting students out of a school where they are brainwashed by the Strictland government. This can be seen in The World Movement official trailers (2 and 1) and the Guerrila mv. Other songs referencing to it are Sector 1 and the intro Propaganda.

According to the lyrics, Cyberpunk talks about Strictland and its lies, The Ring is about the guerrillas (fights) between Ateez and the Strictland government, and finally New World sees Ateez singing and talking to people that are no more under the government brainwashing.

And this where the canon stops, for now ☝👀

To recap, the canon song order at the moment is:

Dear Diary: 2016.07.29

Fever

To The Beat

Good Little Boy

Inception

Thanxx

Fireworks (I'm The One)

Intro: Long Journey

Pirate King

Treasure

Say My Name

Deja vu

Answer: Ode to Joy

Cyberpunk

Sector 1

Propaganda

Guerrilla

The Ring

New World

—

> MASTERLIST

[1016anon]

Title: Four Tulips Author: 1016anon Fandom: Bridgerton Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma Summary/Intro: Debate moderator: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Anthony: Yes.

Kate: It depends.

Debate moderator: …

Anthony: The falling tree makes a sound because sound is a well defined physical phenomenon wherein vibrations are propagated through some medium such as air or water. It exists independently of human observation.

Kate: You presuppose that such a medium exists in this hypothetical forest with hypothetical falling trees. If the tree falls in space, it would not make a sound as there is no medium through which an acoustic wave could travel.

Anthony: Must you always?!

--

A/N - Hi you-know-who-you-are. I wrote this thing. Maybe it will be finished. Maybe it won't. But I hope you enjoy its ridiculousness! (Lol also for those of you who like chess, no offense intended. It's my own inside joke thing.)

"I cannot stand her!"

Simon rolled his eyes. He decided to take the high road and refrained from saying here we go again.

"I don't see why Kate shouldn't be captain of the debate team," Daphne said, well aware she was riling her brother up but also determined to make a point. "She was the one who carried the team to victory for the semifinals."

"Only because she got a topic on post-colonial influence in the world! She's practically written a dissertation on the topic!"

"That sounds like a good thing, Anthony," Francesca-- who could normally be relied upon to support her brother, replied. "You certainly wouldn't have won that debate."

Anthony huffed.

"I'll have you know, Kate has argued with me on the subject so many times, I anticipated every point she brought up."

"And you would have taken all the credit, given none of it to Kate, and decided you were a subject matter expert from that point forward," Eloise retorted. "God save us from the mansplainers."

He hated it when the triplets ganged up on him. El always argued against him; Daph was, as the eldest triplet by fourteen minutes, always determined to keep the peace; but it was Fran's betrayal that cut to the quick.

Yes, he was dramatic. Benedict often suggested he should have taken up theatre instead. Anthony had frowned at him and asked what could possibly be enjoyable about auditioning for The Crucible, which was one of the most depressing things he'd read in a while. Besides, who would he argue with? Mrs. Featherington considered herself something of a dramaturg.

Anthony had read those scripts Colin brought home. Every year, Mrs. Featherington insisted they put on a performance of her latest play, which was usually some overwrought period drama. Anthony would rather join those obnoxious pricks in the chess team-- they all considered themselves geniuses-- than find out how Mrs. Featherington was going to butcher The Crucible.

Benedict, who worked designing set pieces and drawing the very attractive, enticing posters promoting the school plays (Anthony always felt like he ought to report his brother to a consumer protection bureau for deceptive advertising), shrugged and said at least they could recycle the costumes. He was more than happy to relinquish costuming duties to a new girl-- Sophie something-or-other.

Simon was suppressing a smile. No one knew it, but Anthony did. That's what happened when you were attached at the hip since preschool. Simon was the triple threat: captain of the mathletes (led the team to fourth place-- the first time the school had ever gotten that far in the rankings), winner at state's in cross-country last year, and handsome to boot.

It was unfair, because Simon admitted that when he was running, he was usually thinking about some difficult math problem; by some stroke of nefarious magic, it would almost always solve itself towards the end of the race and he would put in a burst of extra speed because he needed to write the solution it down.

Then again, Anthony fenced. And excelled at fencing, because he was usually thinking of all the counterarguments he would have made against Kate during practice the other day.

The point was, Simon was suppressing a smile. Which meant he thought Anthony was being deliberately obtuse.

Come to think of it, Simon had been suppressing his smile often these days.

Anthony chewed very noisily and viciously on baby carrots and slurped his juice box. Yes, he liked juice boxes. They came in the format of boxes, which meant he could organize his lunch bag in an optimal configuration. Anthony watched youtube videos of Japanese people creating bento boxes, wishing he had such organizational and culinary talent.

The only talent he really had was arguing (his inner Fran came to his rescue and told him to stop feeling sorry for himself, he had many skills, one of which was to look pretty). But it had served him very well. They had an unusual family and had been subjected to many remarks, to put it politely, over the years. Anthony's natural protective instincts reared its handsome head and just... stayed there, like a sea monster who decided the view was better above the surface.

He didn't have the full story of how CDEF came into his life, but part of it was that his father was very wealthy and his grandparents, as a condition of accessing the trust fund, required Edmund (and his siblings) to engage in at least twenty hours of community service.

It was how he met Violet, a social worker who found his idealism and good intentions charming (most would have, and had, found it off-putting; Edmund was given several harsh lessons about privilege and that this job was not a hobby to make rich white men feel better about themselves. Edmund took those lectures to heart, but was of the sort of disposition who always looked for the glass of orange juice, never mind half empty or half full).

Something something (Anthony didn't care about the details of his parents' dating), they got married, had Anthony-- a difficult pregnancy-- then Violet's birth control failed and they had Benedict shortly afterwards-- another extremely difficult pregnancy. They decided to have Edmund get a vasectomy.

Violet and Edmund knew they could not save every child in the system. They knew the system failed so many children, and it often felt like a a hopeless battle. But they somehow managed to draw healthy boundaries between their job and their home life-- a lot of it probably had to do with the individual and couples therapy they went to, the support Edmund's siblings gave, and the fact they had two young children of their own.

But then--

But then-- Anthony was twelve, Benedict ten--

Col was ten, Daph, El, and Fran were nine. All from the same family. A horrifying story involving gangs, drug wars, DEA stings, sealed court records-- CDEF had their names changed for their own safety-- things Anthony still didn't know. Violet and Edmund volunteered to keep the children in protective custody. When the dust settled, CDEF's parents were dead, their closest relations were in prison or deported to an unnamed country in Central/South America (those records were also sealed). The chances that CDEF would all be adopted together were slim to none.

In the meantime, four Latino children thrown into a new neighborhood, all of them with a history of severe neglect and conditioned to endure the abuse-- they were easy pickings for the school playground.

Anthony and Simon started a lot of fistfights, which Colin, taking his cues from Anthony, soon joined. (Sometimes Benedict joined. Mostly he went to get the teachers before it devolved into Anthony and Simon holding a kid down to make him eat his own socks.)

Thus began the many, many sessions of therapy for anger management (for all the boys) and lectures on "Use your words, Anthony," which led to Anthony yelling and insulting and generally using words too large for other children (or himself, to be honest) to understand. But something about facing off Anthony Bridgerton's ferocious temper (Simon and Benedict standing menacingly behind him) and his history of stuffing a kid's nose with their own non-toxic Crayola markers seemed to get a point across.

What that point was aside from "you bully my siblings, I'll make you choke on wood chips," no one would know. Anthony's first forays into "debate" were rather one-sided.

Violet and Edmund decided to adopt Col, Daph, El, and Fran. Simon, Ant, and Ben were essentially siblings by the end of the two years the children had been in their protective custody. The children had settled into the neighborhood, did well at school, had friends-- ripping them away from that was cruel. It would be... a lot... to adopt four children, but Violet and Edmund couldn't in good conscience abandon them.

So, Anthony's siblings-- who had, in his mind, been his siblings the moment he threw his first punch on their behalf-- became his siblings legally. (Simon was another story. It could be summarized as: they lived in the same neighborhood; Simon's dad was a POS; Simon pushed Anthony in the mud when Anthony had made fun of his stutter; they became best friends. Children were mysterious.)

And now here he was, betrayed by his best friend and his sisters. The only reason why Col and Ben hadn't joined in the razzing was because they had a different lunch period.

No doubt Anthony's grousing would reach the ears of Edwina also. She and Eloise were dating. It was liking living with a spy.

He exaggerated. El didn't care enough about Anthony's debate team woes to talk about them with Eddie. They had much more important things to do, like reading Simone de Beauvoir.

Which brought him to Kate. Sharma. Kathani Sharma.

The absolute bane of his existence ever since seventh grade.

--

The rivalry began, as all great rivalries did, with a complete misunderstanding which was relatively easy to clear up, and subsequently had been cleared up because their friends were annoyed by their complaints, but by then it was too late.

The hatred was entrenched.

It was rooted deep. Nothing short of a drill designed to extract ice cores from the Antarctic could resolve it now. They were sworn enemies.

They both didn't remember what the misunderstanding was, but it was the principle of it, Siena, don't you understand? I don't care if he's cute, no, please, go ahead and date him as long as you don't bring him to our movie nights-- Siena! Siena!!!!

The misunderstanding was that Anthony was blessed with the worst (best) sense of timing when it came to Kate. She always seemed to hear the tail end of a joke which was not sexist, it had been approved by Eloise, for god's sakes, why don't you ever listen to what I'm actually saying?!

The point was, no one remembered the misunderstanding (except Simon. Simon had a terrifyingly sharp memory, one he liberally used against Anthony when his friend was being a prick. But Simon wasn't going to rehash that entire sordid history because since Anthony and Kate didn't remember their own misunderstanding, they argued about who had the correct understanding of the misunderstanding, which was Simon's cue to silently leave them in an empty classroom. Alone. Unfortunately, that plan never seemed to work. But one must make do with what one has).

Kate's own history with debate was because she had immigrated to the States when she was in elementary school and had been mercilessly teased for her accent. She worked extremely hard to iron it out but found that even when she had, the children found other things to pick on her about.

Using her newly found voice, Kate discovered she had a talent for delivering vicious tongue-lashings which left the children paralyzed like shrimp tangled in a jellyfish; not know why they were stuck with fear in their hearts yet knowing they were going to be eaten alive all the same.

She used her talents to defend (and subsequently befriend) Siena, who was beautiful but not the right kind of beautiful, and therefore the target of taunts by other girls. Siena was scrappy and could fight on her own but that was the problem; she fought, physically. Kate volleyed insults that no one quite understood until three days later, when the lightbulb moment happened and they realized what "face that would turn a Gorgon to stone" actually meant.

The first year of middle school, neither Kate nor Anthony had any classes together. They passed each other in the halls constantly and traded insults.

"Congratulations on your math test, Bridgerton. Who knew you were so square that even a cube root left you rational?"

Simon nearly spit out his water, coughing because it went down the wrong pipe.

Anthony was tempted to thank her because he heard the word rational so surely it couldn't be that bad, but given Simon's reaction, it probably really was that bad.

"What?"

"Ant, she's saying you're so stupid you don't even have the brains to realize it."

"What?!"

"I can tutor you. 64 is really dismal-- it's just algebra."

"What does rationality have to do with it? Shouldn't it be irrational?"

"You're kind of proving my point here."

"There is no point!"

"She said you're square-- the only other squares you can get greater than 64 are 81 and 100, which if you take the cube root, are both irrational numbers."

"I'm talking about the wordplay."

"Oh. Well, she's saying you should be pissed off for doing so poorly which-- she has a point-- but you're not, so that means you're either complacent or you know you can't do better."

"That is the most convoluted insult I have ever heard!"

"I thought it was kind of clever."

"Whose side are you on?"

But the real games began when the following year, in eighth grade, they joined the Model UN team. It was a disaster, in the best sense of the word. No matter if the countries were close allies or the topic uncontroversial-- Kate and Anthony invented ways to make it controversial and adversarial.

They had their own points system: ad hominem attacks were prohibited; so was historical mud-slinging, unless the topic in question was a direct consequence of a country impinging on the sovereignty of another; hyperbole was considered poor form; deviation from the country's actual policy in favor of their individual opinions was also prohibited, since the whole point of Model UN was to represent a country's policies.

It was the last rule which they both chafed against. Having their options for arguments hamstrung by a real country's declared position felt not only limiting, but insincere. They couldn't pour themselves into an argument they didn't believe.

Anthony and Kate had two classes together: geometry (as it turned out, Anthony was pretty good at writing proofs. He especially relished drawing the little square at the end to signify quod erat demonstrandum), and English. Unfortunately, there were no debates in English class, just lively discussions on the degree to which 1984 was still relevant in the internet age.

What they were to each other was something only understandable in the complex prison hierarchy of the modern teenager's sociological expression of tiktok.

They weren't friends-- aside from the short-lived (one) date Siena went on with Anthony (characterized by awkwardness, pizza, and a kiss which tasted like buttered popcorn kernels), her circles did not intersect with his. They weren't enemies-- they no longer insulted each other in halls, reserving that mental energy for class or Model UN.

Anthony didn't take up a disproportionate amount of Kate's CPU, nor did she his. The misunderstanding had caused enough of a rift that they weren't interested in being friends, just interested in besting each other, but it wasn't personal (yet). If someone else had been the best, Kate and Anthony would have transferred their attentions accordingly.

Unfortunately, this "someone else" never materialized. So for all of eighth grade, they were just fellow students floating like rigatoni noodles in the broth of bubbling hormones; they somehow remained above it all, but it was only a matter of time before they passed al dente and sank to the depths of soggy despair.

In other words, they had not yet been hit by the pheromone bath bomb which completely disorients the teenager's brain and leads them to conflate all sorts of emotions and signals with their opposites, agonizing over the placement of the word "you" in a sentence and wondering if there's a greater meaning to the fact they kept spending time together and looking at each other.

But it was only a matter of time. In many ways, it was a foregone conclusion. Kate and Anthony were cursed with the kind of dynamic which resulted in them constantly challenging each other, making each other try harder, do better; unbeknownst to them, they were condemning them to a positive feedback loop which would spill over into all other aspects of their lives.

Forever stuck in a race where they were always neck and neck and obsessed with how to gain the advantage, they sealed their fates.

Soon, they too would be stewing in an explosion of sexual dimorphism and social media, all of which led to volatile brain cells sparking and misfiring as neural pathways were laid down, ripped out, laid down slightly to the right, &tc., until all roads led to Kate and Anthony, fucking against a tree (k-i-s-s-i-n-g!).

Which brought them to ninth grade: high school.

By mutual agreement via trash talk, they signed up for the debate team.

The rest, as they say, is a mystery.

[qnewsau]

Taylor Swift's drag double recreates Eras Tour in Melbourne

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/taylor-swifts-drag-double-recreates-eras-tour-in-melbourne/

Taylor Swift's drag double recreates Eras Tour in Melbourne

Filipino drag queen Taylor Sheesh has recreated Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour in Melbourne and performed a free gig for thousands of Swifties who couldn’t get tickets to the real thing.

It all started last year. Diehard Swifties in the Philippines waited to find out if Taylor would bring the Eras tour there.

She didn’t, so a local fan group organised their own. They booked a shopping centre and asked drag queen Taylor Sheesh, who has been impersonating Swift since 2017, to fill in.

Thousands packed the shopping centre to watch Taylor Sheesh perform the 90-minute Eras Tour recreation. The concert was complete with backup dancers and incredible costume recreations.

The drag queen made and wore a copy of Taylor’s blue bodysuit for Midnights, her flowing gown for Speak Now, and the Red two-piece.

Soon, Taylor Sheesh was drawing thousands to larger outdoor venues as her free concerts, now dubbed the Errors Tour, continued.

Taylor Sheesh performs free concert in Melbourne

On Friday, Taylor Sheesh came to Australia and performed one of her concerts here for the first time.

It was hosted by All the Queens Men producer Tristan Meecham, who brought the Filipino drag queen to Melbourne to lip sync the show for a cheering crowd of thousands at Fed Square.

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Aussie fans in the crowd cheered for Sheesh and waved signs with her name on them.

The drag queen from the Philippines said she is still “in shock and awe” at the popularity of her lip-synced tribute shows.

“We didn’t expect all the recognition we’ve received internationally,” Sheesh told JOY Media.

“We made it into Rolling Stone, we didn’t expect that… Everything that’s happened still hasn’t sunk into my mind. We’re forever grateful to my fans and fellow Swifties.”

The drag queen is, naturally, a lifelong fan of Taylor Swift. While in Melbourne, Sheesh saw Swift perform at her final Melbourne concert on Sunday night (February 18).

“I’m a fan since 2009, when I was in high school. I love her,” Sheesh said.

“For every situation there’s a Taylor Swift song. Not just relationships, but when you have self-doubt and need to boost your confidence.”

The drag performer declared her favourite Taylor Swift songs are Love Story and You Belong With Me.

“Those songs are very old but forever gold,” she said.

@makayla.smartTaylor sheesh in melbourne♬ original sound – Makayla Smart

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[we-arent-married]

They Wish They Were Us: Book Review

Me and my partner both read his book and we want to share out joy with y'all! (I was forced to read it by Ice, and I still liked it.)

So, if you haven't read the book/are still reading it, stop reading this post if you do not want spoilers! Besides that, let's begin!

Alright so They Wish They Were Us (or TWTWU for simplicities sake) is a book about teenager Jill Newman who is entering her senior year of high school. She is part of an elite group called the players. They party hard, have all the answer sheets, and a brutal induction process.

About a year before the book starts Jill's friend and fellow player Shalia was murdered and all the blame is on her boyfriend Graham but Jill starts getting messages from Grahams's sister pledging his innocence.

The book also has heavy mentions and examples of sex, drinking, vaping, drugs, and hazing. Consider these things before reading further in this review or picking the book up for yourself. [Especially if you can't handle subjects like these.]

So! *Handclap* that was the summary from my partner, now. Let's talk about what we thought of the book. I'll go first!

So, as a person who doesn't really read, I was recommended the book by my partner when she was reading it in class. (I do this a lot) So, when I went to Indigo! to pick a copy up and read it. I must say, I would recommend it too!

Jessica Goodman's writing style is legible and has a bit of a lower reading level. But it makes the flow of the book smoother, so audiences can follow along better.

I can doubly agree! Even as someone who often times prefers books written for an older audience, this book continued to engage me with it's twists and turns. Even though I was never part of an elite high school group, I felt like I was truly there with Jill and experiencing the chaos for myself.

One of my favourite parts of the book is seeing Jill slowly realize that the players aren't that great. One way this is done is by showing flashbacks of Jill and Shalia's induction process where they were pressured into drinking, smoking, undressing. Another way this is shown is when Jill's brother Jared is joining the players and Jill see's how it changes him for the worse.

The book also shows that as much as Jill disagrees with what the players do, she feels like she can't leave because of her scholarship. She needs to keep her grades up to stay in the school and the players give her an answer sheet so she can't fail.

Besides that! What about the flaws? Not all books are perfect after all!

They Wish They Were Us, besides the long title. There are a LOT of flashbacks. Not bad, but sometimes they get in the way of the last 30 pages of the book. Although they are usually really important to the plot and the storyline. Also, I understand that the Players were a huge group in the book, but it felt like there were too many characters to remember, and I sometimes get them mixed up. Also, just generally if you accidentally stop paying attention to the page [Especially earlier and later in the book.] you get confused. Then you have to re-read that paragraph. (Not sure if it's just me though.)

And, the Paper-back edition of the book has worse durability than a McDonalds' play-place trampoline. So, if you tend to bend, chip or peel up the covers of your book, take the hardcover... Even if it has a weird slide-off cover. j us t t a ke the ha rd c ov er. (I had the paperback, and my partner had the hardcover.)

Last thing to mention on my half, THE BOOK IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND IN STORES HALF OF THE TIME, MY COPY WAS THE LAST COPY IN THE ENTIRE INDIGO! Other than that,

amazing job Jessica Goodman! you got me into reading again :D

I mean my biggest issue with the book was a plot line that got brought up then completely dropped. After an issue that leads Jill to not having answer sheets anymore, teachers start noticing her declining performance. Jill meets with her principal who kinda sorta threatens the safety of her scholarship. This never comes up after the chapter ends. Most of the issues that Air had didn't really apply to me but I'm just a weirdo who remembers like everything I read so *shrugs*.

But let's stop focusing on the negatives and talk about favourite scenes! One of my favs is when Jill takes part in the Road Rally. It's basically a giant scavenger hunt used as a way to weed out the pussies. With challenges like vaping with teachers and stealing, it places character morals in jeopardy.

Another one of my favourites was a flashback (sorry Air) [Awe come on man :( ] where Shalia takes a bullet for Jill and chugs some QuEsTiOnAbLe Alcohol. It shows both the irresponsibility of the players and how good of a friend Shalia is! Okay, my turn to talk about my favourite bits of the book.

My favourite scenes is whenever Nikki is in it, doing something crazy. Same with on the last few chapters of the book. Jill fighting Adam. Although it wasn't intense, it was still interesting either way. Same with the final scene, when everything about The Players goes up in flames. I JUST REALLY LIKED THEM, NO REASON, I LI K E D TH E M.

So, what have we learned? TWTWU was a phenomenal book (though does have a few issues plot wise, as all books do!)

I hope you enjoyed reading our humble review and maybe consider adding They Wish They Were Us to your personal reading list! That's all folks! Hope you have a great rest of your day! And... Happy Reading!

[absurdepresso]

my tc coming back makes me really really reevaluate what's been happening the last 5 years (?) of me having crush on him

ok i guess when i start the eight grade, that's when my relationship with my father becoming distant. he got promoted to the higher position. which...yea we had a lot of privilege, but he became distant from me...physically and emotionally. idk...i think i was kinda close to him when i was a little kid, after 5 grade (and because of puberty idk idk) i become kiiiinda uncomfortable with men in general. but i still close to my dad.

the eight grade came, and he came to our school. and i like him. i have a silly little crush on him, which is embarrassing. i really tried my best to study more about politics and performing well at school so i get good grades...for him to see me even though he would never see me because i was eight grade, and he teach only ninth grade up to twelve grade.

the reason behind my success academically are because of him.

OK SO WHY I EVEN BROUGHT TOPIC ABT MY DAD HERE...THAT'S BECAUSE...

my tc has a daughter. he loves his daughter v much and he often showed it to his students and teachers. and it's cute! when he got promoted to be a diplomat, he still loves and cared about his daughter. he even brought his daughter to kazakh to live with him while his wife works in my country.

he often posted about his relationship with his daughter and boy...i told you...it was so sweet. i kinda wish my father do that to me.

but this isn't eight grade anymore, i guess my emo angry phases are done. i can say that....i am close to my dad....finally. and the reason behind that is because my mom has cancer so i have to be strong with my dad and brother.

that moment makes me close to my dad. when my mom first diagnosed, im crying at my dad's shoulder and now i can feel his sadness.

and that also makes me understand him more. he talked to me about his problems and the fact that he hates his works because it makes him distant from me and im glad he acknowledged that because not so many parents can admit their mistakes...is that a mistake? idk...

so ig it's cool for it to happens. y know, my tc finally give me compliments, im closer to my dad and we try to understand each other.

when my tc came and gave us some lectures, what i feel is purely admiration. that is who i wanted to be, he is the one person that makes me believe that i will meet another amazing person like him in the future.

we made a little journal for him, but i can't write my personal feelings for him because im scared he will find me weird, but he IS my inspiration...real life people that i really look up to. i hope one day i can make you proud to ever teaching me back in middle school and high school.

i know i was embarrassing back then, but maybe now im a lil bit different???? more mature, i guess. i know you're fucking twice my age and already have a family and i would never NEVER gonna break into that. you are a good man for staying faithful with your wife and i hope you will always be by her side bcs what i see is an amazing woman being in love with an amazing man.

i just can't believe all of my little dreams came true, man.

[lets-steal-an-archive]

As I noted in a previous post I did some clean-up rewrites based on location, but there are only two scenes I personally take any credit for in this episode. First, the hidden lab […] The second scene was the one immediately following, where Eliot talks Hardison down. The scene had some serious emotional context for the show sure, as it was nice to finally say in text what we felt that relationship had become -- brothers. But it had a second layer. A very dear friend of mine was in Air Force Combat Search and Rescue right out of high school. When we were younger, and I was freaking out or insecure or nervous about something, he'd pep talk me. He'd do that neck grab and tuck my head in, because touching helmets like that, that's as close as you can get in a combat situation. "Fucking relax. Smartest guy I know," he'd say, often impatiently.

Well, that friend passed, not long before I wrote that scene. So I was writing him in that scene. Writing one of the four or so guys who became my brothers, who lived in my house, ate at my mom's table, sat around bullshitting in the Burger King parking lot for hours every night, who kept me from being a nervous, shy physics geek who never wrote, never performed, never joked.

When I explained that context to Christian and Aldis and Beth, I have to admit I teared up. And then -- and this is why I love them -- they dug in on that scene. They'd already rehearsed and committed to it, but then they really brought something extra. Kane in particular, knew he was playing my brother, and ran over after every take to make sure he was landing it. So know that for every time I say "Fucking Oklahoma..." because of some bone-headed stunt bullshit he did, understand I'll always love him, and Aldis and Beth, for how they acted that day.

pk_sullivan | jonrog1 | pk_sullivan | jonrog1 | "The Rundown Job" Post-Game (10 Jan. 2013)

[bitch-for-bo]

"Worried I'll Replace You?", "No." (Ushijima Wakatoshi x chubby reader)

TAKES PLACE POST- TIMESKIP 

Despite the fact that you and Ushijima have been dating for years, he still doesn't want to introduce you to the team. You find out that it isn't because he's embarrassed, it's for selfish reasons of his own.

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY

When you had told Wakatoshi that you were going to be attending the Japan National team’s practice later that day, you didn’t expect him to react. Why would you? Toshi rarely reacted to anything you said in explicit ways, he was a stoic man. Sure, he was a stoic man that you happened to love, but a stoic man nonetheless.

You had been curling your hair in the bathroom mirror as Wakatoshi took his morning shower when you brought the fact that you’d be attending his practice up.

“I’m going to be there with Kuroo-san planning some advertising strategies.”

“Do you have to be with Kuroo?” Wakatoshi’s deep voice rumbled from behind the shower curtain.

“Why?” you asked, leaning against the counter and looking at the shower curtain through the mirror, seeing Toshi’s large outline through the light material.

“I don’t appreciate the way that Kuroo speaks to you. He isn’t your boyfriend, I am.” He replied before ducking his head beneath the showerhead to rinse the shampoo from his hair.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Wakatoshi’s blunt statement. No matter how many times you told him that Kuroo was only kidding when he teased you, Toshi was still unnecessarily possessive of you.

Not that you minded. It was nice to feel protected by the powerful ace, even if that meant having to almost hold him back when he saw Kuroo playfully ‘flirting’ with you.

The shower turned off and the curtain was slung back, revealing a fully nude Wakatoshi. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist as your eyes followed him lustfully in the mirror, admiring how the beads of water ran down his broad, tanned back as the muscles flexed and relaxed with his movement.

“I also don’t want my teammates meeting you.” He said, walking up behind you beside you to the counter to continue his morning hygiene routine.

You scoffed lightly at that. You knew that his words held no ill intent or malice, but if Ushi would have said that sort of thing in public, and someone overheard the conversation, they would’ve thought that Ushijima was embarrassed by you. So much so that he didn’t want his team meeting you. Again, deep down you knew this wasn’t the case, but that didn’t stop the small ball of dread from making its way into your heart as you began to question if Toshi really was embarrassed by you. You knew that the only way to find out what he meant was to ask, or else you would be upset the rest of the day and lord only knows that Wakatoshi was too bad at verbal communication to ask you why you were mad at him.

“Why?” You teased, grinning at your boyfriend in the mirror despite the small pang of hurt in your chest. “Scared I’ll find someone more attractive to replace you with?”

“Why would a be scared of that? I am the most capable partner for you on the team.” He replied, turning to look at you in the eyes with an expression of slight confusion.

You couldn’t help but giggle at your big dumb boyfriend.

“Awful confident about that aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

You just laughed more, stepping towards him and craning your neck to place a small kiss on his jaw. It was mean to bully Toshi like that, especially since he took every word you said so literally, but it was too fun not to.

“How about this,” you offered, wrapping your arms around his bare hips and encouraging him to do the same to you, forming a loose hug between the two of you as you stood in the doorway of the bathroom. “I’ll go do my job with Kuroo, but you don’t have to tell the team I’m your girlfriend. We can both pretend we’re strangers.”

You weren’t gonna lie, you really wanted Wakatoshi to introduce you as his significant other to his friends, after all, you’d been dating for almost 5 years, but you understood that PDA made him uncomfortable so you could deal with your own butthurt feelings if it meant that he was more comfortable.

“Are you sure?” Wakatoshi asked, his eyes looking down at yours, seemingly into your soul.

“Yes.” You smiled, kissing his chin, “Who knows,” you added, “it might make for some hot foreplay too…”

Wakatoshi chuckled and kissed your forehead, letting his lips rest against the skin for a couple of seconds before pulling away and detaching the two of you from your ‘loose hug’.

“When do you have to go?” You asked, glancing at the bedside clock that read 5:50 AM.

“I have to be there by 6:30.” He responded. You groaned in reply, turning back to your own routine as he moved out of the bathroom to get dressed so he could go to practice.

You absolutely hated the days where Toshi had to go to practice early in the morning. He would wake up at almost 4 AM to go on his jog. And of course, being the huge oaf that he is, he’d always wake you up with him as he tried to maneuver his bulky frame out of bed. It wasn’t too much trouble though, because usually, you would just go back to sleep. The best part was when Ushijima got back from his jog and joined you in the shower for some pre-practice ‘endurance training’.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t happened today. You had to be a work kind of early too, so you had already taken your shower and done your makeup by the time Wakatoshi was back.

You were almost finished curling your hair when Wakatoshi came to wish you goodbye, wrapping his large arms around your waist as he pulled you into one of his kisses that never failed to take your breath away and leave you weak in the knees.

After he had gone, you finished getting ready in the bathroom and went to decide on something to wear.

You wanted to wear something nicer than usual to make a good impression on the team, even if Ushi wasn’t going to introduce you as his girlfriend. It was rare for Wakatoshi to see you in your work clothes, so you also wanted to wear something that would get his attention, and if you were lucky occupy his mind all day until he could rush home and fuck you.

You settled on a black lace blouse tucked into a pair of red slacks. Kuroo had told you that the two of you would get ‘bonus points’ with the bosses if your clothes matched the team’s colors. Plus you knew that Wakatoshi loved the way that the outfit looked on you. The top displayed an appropriate yet sexy amount of skin with its black velvet bodice and long lace sleeves and the high waisted slacks hugged your curvy hips and made your ass and legs look amazing.

You looked in the mirror, admiring your ability to look professional and badass at the same time. If only your highschool self could see you now. Highschool You wouldn’t have been able to see the way that the outfit complemented your plush form. She would’ve been focused on the small yet noticeable bump of your stomach underneath the slacks, or the way that the light hit the stretch marks on your arms, making them visible despite being covered in black lace.

It had taken a long time to love yourself, you’d gone through the first twenty years of your life despising how you looked. Finally, you learned to accept who you were and with the help of your friends and family, you learned that you were worth more than what YOU saw in the mirror.

You remembered the first couple of times you went out with friends after gaining your confidence. They convinced you to accompany them to a small sports bar. You remembered that night fairly clearly, you had worn a flowy maroon blouse with a pair of high waisted black jeans and a pair of 3-inch nude heels. It was one of the first times that you had looked in the mirror and liked what you saw.

You and your friends drank and watched the games on the TVs that were situated around the bar, a different sport playing on almost every one of them. You remembered that you were attracted to a volleyball game that was one. You had played volleyball a lot with your brothers when you were young and over the years, the fondness towards the sport never died. You took a seat in front of the television, sitting next to a tall, slender red-head who was nursing what smelt like a vodka cherry limeade. Your eyes were fixed on the TV, smiling as the players volleyed back and forth, admiring the strength and power it must take to perform like that.

“It’s impressive isn’t it.” The redhead next to you spoke, looking at you with wide, analytic eyes. You nodded, your eyes barely leaving the screen to give him a quick ‘hello’ smile.

“You like volleyball?” You asked, giggling a little as the man tilted his head at you.

“I used to……” He said wistfully, taking a long sip of his limeade that he happened to be drinking through a straw. “I played in high school. I quit cuz I knew that I’d never be serious enough to play like them.” He waved towards the players on the TV before continuing, “My buddy is still obsessed with it though. He’s in the bathroom right now.”

You nodded, you weren’t sure why the stranger was telling you so much, you figured that it was kind of due to the alcohol so you let him speak, plus you were enjoying the conversation.

“That’s cool.” You smiled, bringing your own drinks up to your lips as the two of you continued to watch the game in silence for a couple of seconds. Suddenly, he looked over.

“Listen,” He said, “my friend that I mentioned, the one in the bathroom…”

You nodded.

“He’s had his eyes on you the whole night.”

As soon as he said those words, your face lit up with the biggest blush you had ever had. Your mouth formed an ‘o’ before opening and closing like a fish. No one had ever looked, let alone stared! at you (to your knowledge). You had no idea how to react seeing as this was your first time anyone was so brash with you.

“I-I’m sorry- are you sure that it’s me and not one of my friends?” You asked, still in disbelief that anyone could find you attractive enough to stare.

“Of course I’m sure!” the redhead confirmed, his eyes scrunching as he looked back at you in just as much confusion as you looked at him.

He wondered if you were completely oblivious to all of the attention you’d been getting from the inhabitants of the bar. You looked gorgeous with your long legs, your thick thighs…..hell he would’ve approached you if it hadn’t been for his best friend expressing his interest in you first.

“It’s actually kind of a miracle that you sat here.” The redhead continued, “Wakatoshi isn’t very good at talking to people. Unless it’s about volleyball, which you also like!”

The blush on your face was unrelenting at the thought of a guy approaching you. A guy that you didn’t even know if they really existed. This guy you were talking to might have been a complete crazy who had gotten a little too much to drink.

“Well, I-” You started, only to be interrupted by possibly the deepest voice you’d ever heard, coming from behind you.

“Tendou, who is this in my seat?”

That’s how it all started. In those first couple of minutes, you were terrified of Ushijima. His face was so serious. Handsome, yes, but also very serious. Tendou had acted as a buffer that first night, giving you a smooth transition and kind of teaching you how to talk to Wakatoshi.

Over the next couple of months, you and Ushijima went on dates. Every week on Friday. He would pick you up at 7 pm sharp without fail. He never talked much, he much preferred to listen to you, always watching your face closely as you spoke. He made you feel safe and listened to and before long, five years had passed and the two of you were living in domestic bliss.

The sound of the phone broke you out of your little daydream, Kuroo’s caller ID flashing across the screen.

“Hello?”

“Where are you, Kitten? I’m at the gym. I see your super ace boyfriend here, but not you.”

“I’m coming” you replied, pulling a pair of black block heels on as you walked out the front door, “Also, I promised Wakatoshi that no one would tell the team that I’m his girlfriend so please behave!”

**********************

“Waaaah?? Girlfriend??” Hinata Shoyou exclaimed, leaning closer towards Bokuto who had just gathered the team while Ushijima was in the bathroom to tell them all what he had overheard from Kuroo’s phone call.

“She’ll be here today!” The owl-like hitter whisper shouted, excitement practically seeping out of his pores.

“I can’t believe Mr. Stone Solid has a girlfriend and I don’t” Miya Atsumu groaned, hiding his face in shame. As the team started to speculate about what she would look like.

“I bet she’s really pretty”

“Dumbass Hinata! Of course, she’ll be pretty! Why would Ushijima date her if she wasn’t!!” “The real question is, why would she choose Mr. no-emotion. He has the emotional range of a crayon!”

They all nodded at Atsusmu’s statement, even Iwaizumi, and Aran, who had been silent in the conversation regarding Ushiwaka’s mystery girl.

They all flinched at the sound of the gym door opening and sprang away from the huddle as they heard Ushijima coming into the gym. They all had quickly gone back to practicing as if they hadn’t just been gossiping like middle schoolers, and Ushijima being the oblivious idiot that he is, noticed nothing as he picked up a volleyball, wondering when his girlfriend would be arriving with her work partner.

Not even ten minutes later the gym doors opened again and in walked the coach, Kuroo, and you.

“Holy shit!” Atsumu whispered to Hinata, imaginary blood bursting out of his nose as he took in your figure.

The team was enraptured with you from the start, even Kageyama had stopped setting to look at you. They couldn’t stop looking at you, eyes drinking you in disbelief as to why you were with someone with Ushijima. And while you didn’t notice all of the male attention since you were currently talking to Kuroo and the coach, Wakatoshi did and a mix of possessiveness and jealousy burst into his chest.

His eyes roamed your body, fists clenching at how devilishly perfect you looked in your outfit. And even though Ushijima wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box, he could figure out that you’d worn the outfit just to make him feel like this.

He looked across the faces of his teammates, even the athletic trainer’s eyes were on your body as you made your way towards the court, your heels clicking lightly on the glossy wooden floor.

No one was really listening to the coach’s words as he introduced you and Kuroo to the team. They hadn’t even heard the coach ask them to introduce themselves until Ushijima began to speak.

“Ushijima Wakatoshi.” He said, shaking Kuroo’s outstretched hand and then yours, staring deep into your eyes.

‘Just wait till tonight’ his dark eyes read, making something in you keen in arousal.

“Well you all know me, this is my associate, Y/N,” Kuroo said, causing you to break Wakatoshi’s gaze. It jarred the others out of their dazes as well.

“Hello.” You said brightly, smiling. You and Kuroo then went down the line of them, shaking all of their hands and learning their names.

“Are you a model?” Hinata asked, his eyes wide as you towered over him in your heels. You almost looked like a goddess to the short spiker.

“No, but thank you Hinata.” You laughed, shaking his hand gently. You shook your head in amusement and moved to the man standing next to him. A dark-haired man with a blush dancing across his cheeks and his mouth turned down in an attempted frown.

“Y-you are tall,” Kageyama mumbled, holding out his hand to shake. You merely nodded and responded with an ‘it’s mostly the heels. It’s nice to meet you’

You continued to greet them one by one, feeling extremely awkward as they one by one stumbled over introducing themselves. You wondered what was wrong with them, painfully ignorant of the fact that they were all in awe of you.

‘I kind of see why he didn’t want me meeting them’ you thought.

“Aright!” Kuroo exclaimed as soon as the two of you had given all of them handshakes and introductions were finished. “Y/N and I will just be casually monitoring the practice and thinking of advertising strategies. Anything to add?” He asked, looking at you expectantly.

“Sorry for the intrusion!” You said, smiling at all of them once again, “Please play like normal and do your best!”

Ushijima scowled, he could pretty much hear all of his teammates’ brains exploding.

***************

It was a long but successful day, you thought, sliding your key into the front door of your apartment. Wakatoshi was home, the team was let out at 2:30 but you and Kuroo had headed back to the office for a couple of more hours before you came home.

“Toshi?” you called out into the seemingly empty apartment. There was no smell of dinner being cooked or sounds of the shower or sink running. You wondered where he had gone. Tendou wasn’t back in town, so unless Ushijima was out with the team you hadn’t the slightest idea where he was.

You flicked on the lights.

“AHH!” You screamed, hurling your messenger bag at the figure sitting in your living room. Your hands coming up to search for something else to protect yourself with. As your eyes adjusted to the light, you sighed. “Wakatoshi what the fuck? You scared me!”

Wakatoshi said nothing, a frown painting his face while his eyebrows were angrily scrunched towards the midline of his face.

“Toshi?”

“That is why I didn’t want you to meet my team,” he said, taking you completely by surprise.

“What?” you asked, confusion prominent on your face.

“I didn’t want them looking at you like that. You’re mine.”

“Woah, Woah, Woah. Toshi, they were just being nice to me. That’s all” you replied sweetly. A small smile worming its way onto your face at your boyfriend’s childish jealousy.

“You are mine.” He repeated, a bit more assertively this time, getting up and walking towards you.

“I know Toshi.” You whispered soothingly, your arms opening up and accepting his huge form into a tight hug. He buried his face in your neck, inhaling your perfume as he sighed in content at your affection.

“I felt jealous as they looked at you. Why did you wear those clothes?”

“I wore them for you Toshi…” You whispered in his ear.

“Oh. I see.” He said, his hands slowly beginning to draw firm circles in your lower back.

“Why were you jealous Toshi?” You whispered sweetly, you couldn’t stop the sly smile from gracing your face. As mean as it was, you loved it when Wakatoshi got all possessive like this.

“They looked at you.”

“People are allowed to look at me Toshi, how would they talk to me if they weren’t?”

“They’re not allowed to look at you the way they did. Only I can. Only I own you.”

You felt your stomach twist with arousal at Toshi’s deep voice, whispering into your neck. You knew that he didn’t realize the effect that he had on you when he talked like that, but you couldn’t help the want from building in your core as your thighs pressed together.

“Show me Toshi.” You breathed out, your arms tightly wrapping around his neck, pulling his face even closer to your body, “Show me you own me.” Wakatoshi obliged, groaning lowly as his mouth began pressing bruising kisses to your neck. You tilted your head back, giving his rough lips wider access as you let him guide you into the bedroom, pressing you up against a wall.

His hands were gripping your soft hips, pulling you closer to him as his hips rolled against you. You could feel the hard outline of his cock through the thin sweatpants he had on, making your mouth water.

“Shit Toshi…” you moaned, your arms trying desperately to pull his body against you. You reached down between the two of you to feel him through his sweats. As you pressed your palm to it, his hands came down and caught both of your wrists before bringing them above your head.

“Did I say you could touch me?” He growled, his tone changing from the usually even, calm tone, to one of domination.

“Please Toshi….” You keened, a light whine of frustration slipping out of your lips.

Wakastoshi didn’t move, his eyes roaming down your body, taking in your heaving chest practically begging to be bitten and sucked, your thighs pressed together around his muscular leg that had forced its way between your soft ones. He couldn’t’ stop the surge of incredible pride that swelled in his chest as he looked down at you, hunger evident in his eyes. Your pupils were wide and blown out, lips parted and gasping for breath.

‘All mine’ he thought, slowly and firmly taking your mouth with his, demanding that you submit to him. He loved how pliant and submissive your body was beneath him. He loved how you trusted him with your pleasure. He knew he wouldn’t disappoint.

“Fuck!” you gasped as he pulled off of you, allowing your lungs to breathe in deeply, relishing at the feeling of air. Your panties were sopping wet, and you were afraid that if you didn’t take them off soon, your slacks would be in the same boat.

“Please……” You begged, your hips bucking pitifully against Wakatoshi’s firm grip. You needed relief, your brain was beyond clouded with want and the only end in sight was Wakatoshi fucking you hard and deep against the wall.

“What do you want Love?” He asked, his baritone voice invading your brain, making you involuntarily arch your back towards him, a breathy plea slipping from your lips.

“Fuck me Toshi…”

Without a word, Wakatoshi tore your blouse down the front. A small surprised shriek leaving your mouth.

“Toshi! Yo-”

“I will buy you a new one. Their filthy eyes ruined this one.” He growled before reaching down and doing the same to your slacks. You couldn’t even be mad at the incredibly hot strength of your boyfriend. Your shredded clothing fell to the floor as the super ace yanked down your soaked panties, his fingers sliding through the wet folds as he groaned softly against your ear.

“Open your legs.” He commanded, gently yet firmly grasping your thighs as he guided them apart. His fingers glided over the outside of your pussy, dipping in and pressing against your clit while his other hand fondled your breasts, pinching at the nipples.

“Toshi….” you whimpered, yearning for the feeling of his thick fingers inside of you and his mouth on your chest. He seemingly understood your pleas as his fingers slowly thrust into you, stretching you out with two straight of the bat.

“Fuck!” you squeaked, not expecting the brutally fast pace that followed.

“I will not be gentle tonight. When you see the team tomorrow, they will know you belong to me.” He growled, mercilessly finger fucking you with two fingers, using a third to draw small circles around your clit.

You were gasping for air as your head tossed back against the wall. There were no words to express how you felt, even if there were you wouldn’t be able to say them with how Wakatoshi was fucking every breath out of your body.

He didn’t let up, not until you were almost to climax, your nails digging into the meat of his bare shoulders. One of your legs was wrapped around his waist as three of his fingers pressed in and out of your g-spot at lightning speed. You could feel both of your thighs shaking under your body weight, and you weren’t sure how much longer you’d be able to hold your one thigh up around him.

“Wakatoshi....please….” you cried, raking your fingers down his shoulder blades, reveling in the way that they flexed against your grip. “I’m so close!”

“Do you want me to fuck you now?” he asked, taking his fingers out of you and turning you around before pushing your top half down against your vanity in the corner of the room. You could feel your dripping pussy exposed at a new angle as Wakatoshi quickly kicked off his own pants, stroking his thick cock in his hand before stepping up behind you and rubbing it against your slit, wetting it with your juices.

“Yes, please!. Pleasepleaseplease!” you babbled, the feeling of the head of his cock rubbing up and down your pussy becoming too much to bear.

With a single thrust, Wakatoshi was completely inside of you, ripping a scream from your lungs as his cock split you in half. Usually, he took his time, but you could tell that tonight he wanted to show you that you truly belonged to him.

“Fuck.” He groaned, thrusting his hips into you at an intermediate pace. He wanted to teach you who you belonged to, but he didn’t want to hospitalize you by going full speed right away.

“Mmmm….” you moaned, “love the feeling of your cock baby.” you tried to bring your hips back to meet his thrusts but were immediately stopped by his big hands pressing them into the wood of the vanity.

He continued his onslaught, snapping his hips and thrusting in and out of you, quickly building up to a seemingly inhuman pace. He wove his finger through your hair and pulled your head up to look at him through the mirror of the vanity.

“Tell me who you belong to.” He demanded. You opened your mouth in a silent moan as your eyes were met with the sight of him fucking you into the piece of furniture. Your face was red with exertion, your hair sticking with sweat. It wasn’t a superficially erotic sight (at least in your opinion) but the fucked out expression on your face was a dead give-away of how badly you enjoyed Wakatoshi dominating you like this.

Wakatoshi groaned, the feeling of his cock pushing in and out of your tight hole as he brutally fucked you was glorious. His eyes never left your form in the mirror as he stared at the way your pretty tits and stomach bounced with each push of his hips.

Fucking you in the mirror was his favorite was to take you, the ability to watch your face, your tits/stomach, and your ass/thighs all at the same time was quite possibly his favorite thing in the world. He felt himself getting close as his eyes continued to watch your blissed-out face through the glass.

One of his hands reached down and his fingers began to circle your clit again, making your eyes, that you hadn’t even realized were closed, spring open and another cry slip from your lips.

“Ooooooh…. Toshi…:” you panted. “I’m close…”

“Tell me who you belong to.” He growled, his free hand coming up and wrapping around your neck as his lips pressed against your rapid pulse. You could feel yourself beginning to lose yourself, you were so close to orgasm that tears began to run down your face.

“You! Toshi- only you!”

“Are you sure?” he asked meanly, flicking his thumb out maliciously over the oversensitive bud of your clit.

“F-fuck YES! Fuck yes Toshi….. p-please....let me cum!”

“Cum.”

Your body began to practically convulse as your orgasm ripped through your body, leaving your vision white as you shook with pleasure, you could feel yourself clenching around Wakatoshi’s cock as he moaned deeply and began to cum inside of you, letting himself be milked by your walls.

You cried as you came down from your high, your legs feeling like jelly as Ushijima’s strong arms wrapped around your body, supporting you and making sure you didn’t drop to the floor from exhaustion.

He gently pulled out of you and carried you to the bathroom. He set you down on the counter as he went to turn on the shower, the sight of his broad back covered in scratch marks making you bask in the glow of your orgasm even more.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked guiltily, concerned eyes sweeping your body worriedly. You let out a half giggle/ half hiccup and shook your head.

“I love you Toshi.” You whispered, opening your arms so he could pick you up and carry you to the shower with him, which he contently did, his thick biceps flexing against your back as he held your body against him under the hot stream of water.

“I love you too. You are mine.” He said as he lathered shampoo into your hair. You smiled, shivering at the feeling of his fingers against your scalp and his words of love in your mind.

“I’m yours.” You said sweetly, before turning in his grasp to return the favor.

[therealvinelle]

do you think carlisle wanted to be a dad or was dadhood thrust upon him

The latter.

He never shows any particular longing for children. When Rosalie speaks of her childlessness, she brings up Esme as one who wanted kids and is making do with the Cullens, not Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle doesn’t go full Father the way Esme does Mother, either, the parent-child dynamic that we see between Billy and Jacob or Charlie and Bella isn’t there. He treats his children like cherished and respected adults who sometimes need guidance, not quite kids. (More on this below.)

He doesn’t seem particularly drawn to kids, either, he lived in Volterra for decades yet his relationship with Alec and Jane is nonexistent, and whenever he meets up with Siobhan and Maggie (Maggie being 15) it’s Siobhan he focuses on.

Plus, and I know no one will be with me on this, but he just doesn’t have the vibe.

To backtrack a bit, how did Carlisle become the father figure in the Cullen family in the first place?

He never set out to become Edward’s father. He turned Edward because he’d grown attached to Elizabeth Masen, and she asked him to turn her son. After that, Carlisle looked at Edward as a potential vampire, and saw all the things Edward could be - a friend, a brother, or a son. He was willing to be a father, but brother or partner would have worked just fine by him as well. Edward got to choose which it would be, or rather Edward decided upon waking up: he took one look at Carlisle and said “yup, that’s my Heavenly Father”.

Then we have Rosalie, she could have been his sister, niece-but-not-daughter-figure, or friend-of-the-family-who’s-part-of-the-coven. Point being, she didn’t have to become his daughter, and yet she did. I can only assume that, like Edward, she chose it. As she found her place in the family, sister and daughter was what felt right for Rosalie in relation to Edward, Carlisle, and Esme.

Then Emmett entered the family, he was Rosalie’s husband, so son to Carlisle and Esme and brother to Edward it is. Alice and Jasper arrive, alright, guess we’re playing house! The coven leader and his mate are mother and father now.

Now, I don’t think the Cullens are secretly not a family, that the whole thing is a front brought on by contrivances. They make it clear again and again that they see each other as family, and they prove several times they’ll go to bat for Edward. And since this is a post about Carlisle I’ll stress that he even refers to newcomer Bella as being like a daughter to him.

The coven has its dysfunctions, yes, anyone who follows my blog knows that I think it’ll break up sooner or later, but that doesn’t delegitimize what they do have.

I think Carlisle is the father figure because that’s what the Cullens need him to be.

Edward was orphaned and alone in a brave new world, and immediately latched on to Carlisle. This isn’t the post to get into their relationship, suffice to say that he needs Carlisle to be his father and would not cope well with Carlisle saying “Fatherhood, huh, woof. Yeahh about that, kid...”

Of course, Carlisle thought of him as a potential son before turning him, but all the same this turned out to be what Edward needed.

Rosalie and Carlisle's relationship is also best reserved for a post of its own, but in a nutshell her parents were social climbers who viewed her beauty as their ticket up the social ladder:

“It was my mother’s job to keep our house — and myself and my two younger brothers — in spotless order. It was clear that I was both her first priority and her favorite. I didn’t fully understand at the time, but I was always vaguely aware that my parents weren’t satisfied with what they had, even if it was so much more than most. They wanted more. They had social aspirations — social climbers, I suppose you could call them. My beauty was like a gift to them. They saw so much more potential in it than I did. 

 (...) 

[I was] happy that my mother was proud of me and that my father liked to buy me pretty dresses. (Eclipse, page 90)

Enter then Carlisle Cullen, who has no interest in her beauty, no ambition on her behalf. He gave her this life she never wanted, yes, but in doing so he also saw something in Rosalie Hale that was worth it all, that he wanted to keep around for eternity.

Rosalie was very happy with her life, but even when reminiscing about how amazing it all was she is able to recognize that her parents loved her beauty, not so much Rosalie herself. Did she want that affection, of course, what child wouldn’t. But, I find the fact that she let Carlisle become her father telling.

I think he’s the father she wished Mr. Hale had been.

Alice is... complicated, but a big part of what she gets from being with the Cullens, from the high school routine and all the clothes, is personhood. She’s an inhuman entity with no memory of being human, and her visions make her even less connected to the physical world than other vampires are. How do you carve out a sense of self around that?

To her, performative humanity as a Cullen is just that, it’s her getting to be a person.

In that regard, having Carlisle around as a person to relate to, a father figure to give Alice Cullen the person substance, is precious.

Jasper doesn’t need a father, but he is in need of guidance and a confidante. Carlisle is implied to be this to him in Midnight Sun, when Jasper needs to be talked down from doing something rash and Alice’s response is to put him in Carlisle’s office and wait for Carlisle to come home and talk sense into him. Carlisle just smiles wryly and trots up the stairs to do what is apparently the not unheard of Jasper wrangling. I can see why the father/son thing comes naturally to them.

I think Renesmée to an extent will also fall under the umbrella of Cullens who act like baby birds around Carlisle, as explained in this post.

Emmett and Bella have no such void being filled by Carlisle. Do they see each other as family, sure, Emmett especially considering how many years they’ve been together. 

(Also, yes I’m aware I didn’t include Esme’s relationship with the kids in this post, that’s not to dismiss her but because anon didn’t ask.)

[mah-gah-lee]

What a weird family reunion Reggie x  Reader (xLuke)

gif originally posted by @jatpsource​

Word Count: 3515 words

 Summary: You’re Reggie’s little sister. You were 3 when he died. You’re now a ghost for a decade. One night, you recognize your brother and jumped into him to an unexpected family reunion. How is it going to happen? Will Reggie believe you? In a mysterious way, that’s Luke who help you to convinced Reggie.

 Warnings: cuss (language), mention of death, mention of divorce, mention of drugs

 A/N: This is my first fic about jatp characters. Hope you’ll enjoy! keep in mind that french is my first language, so i’m so sorry if there’s some mistakes in my fic

 disclaimer: It takes place during episodes 6 and 7. I do not take into account the possibility of a Juke. The chemistry while they sing is there but no romantic feelings.

 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ 

 _______

Losing a child is the worst thing a parent could live, losing two is unimaginable. It’s seems being 17 years old was a new malediction in Peters family.

 You were 3 when your older brother, Reginald, died in a weird hot dog accident. At that point, your parents were literally a fight away from a divorce but never did it because of you. You were too young to be in a divided family, according to them. But Reggie's death separated them for good. Yet they really tried to support each other, to overcome that and give you all the attention you needed. But your mother overprotected you and made you live in the shadow of your late brother. Your dad couldn't stand it. And when they finally divorce, moving out from reggie’s childhood house, you went to live with your dad.

 Even though you were too young to form a strong bond with your brother, in a way you missed him. Your mother’s house was full of pictures of him, some of his clothes were still in a room, dedicated to him. When you visited your mother, you didn’t understand why you always found yourself in this room. You were drawn like a magnet to the comforting room. Reggie’s presence in this new house brought you such a sense of security that your mother had repeatedly found you asleep on a pile of your brother’s T-shirts.

 And then you died in 2009. Kanye West had interrupted Taylor Swift's speech at the VMAs, Miley Cyrus hadn't gone crazy yet and One Direction didn't exist yet. What an era! You didn't know why the great light didn't come looking for you but you were there, as a ghost in 2009. And the time has passed ... You've had your best concerts, the best parties. A forever teenager who couldn't eat, drink or sleep.

 And then 2020 came.

 …

 You were tired of always doing the same thing for over a decade, but you couldn't help but go to every open scene that came up in your beautiful city. It was as if an inexplicable force was pushing you to go there.

 This evening was no exception to the rule and you were in a very hip little bar in the city center. You wore one of those sleeveless, gray crop tops with high waisted pants, your leather jacket draped over your shoulders. Your eyes were directly drawn to a group of girls in colorful costumes. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It's been 10 years since you died and it seemed to you that these girls looked like the same plagues that ruined the lives of so many teenagers in your time. You put on an expression of disgust when they all took the stage, but when the music started you couldn't help but admit it was pretty catchy. However, you didn't expect a ghost to appear in the middle of the stage, improvising a choreography. Was that part of the show?

 But looking at the audience's non-reaction, you knew it wasn't. The ghost disappeared for the first time, and your gaze sought directly the distinctive light source of another apparition in the room. Your gaze lingered on a small group of three boys - the blond boy included - and two girls. You have wrinkled your eyes to better distinguish the teenagers, and your face expressed confusion.

 “Reggie? “

 You wanted to go see him so badly. You were pretty sure it was your brother but it all came too fast. The moment you decided to walk towards them, the organizer announced a new band.

 “Okay, looks like we're close the night out with one more group…Julie and the fat ones.”

 What was that for a name? Your attention had been diverted and when you looked back at the group, the boys had disappeared as one of the young girls took the stage. Your heart was beating so fast. You couldn't go wrong; you had seen so many pictures at your mother's house that it was impossible that this boy was not your brother. But you missed your chance…

 Julie started to sing and your eyes were captivated, as much as your ears were. This kid was so talented! When she sang a rather high note, the tension in the room charged into electricity. The next second, the young singer was joined by the group of boys you had seen in her company. Appearing distinctly as the ghosts did. On drums there was the blond boy you had seen dancing a few moments earlier, on the electric guitar, a boy with tousled brown hair who seemed slightly familiar to you ... and on bass, with a flannel shirt, there was your brother ... Reggie was there, identical to the photos you had admired so much.

 The bar was on fire as Julie and The Phantoms performed. What a sick name for a group made up of two-thirds of ghosts! The song was so catchy that your heart beat to the sound of the music. But your eyes did not leave your brother, you were unable to move, frozen in place. What should you do ? Will you introduce yourself after the performance? And, what would you say? "Hey hi Reggie, I'm your sister, I died ten years ago and you twenty-five years ago. Unbelievable, right?! Nice to see you again" And once again, before you knew it, the song was over and the boys were gone again, leaving Julie alone on stage in the bewilderment of the many people in the facility.

 “for God's sake, where are they?”

 You didn't want to miss it anymore. Even though the whole situation was strange, you wanted to see your brother again.

 Your eyes flew over the room before seeing the scene play out before your eyes. Julie seemed petrified in front of a man. The boys watched in amazement and as Julie left with what appeared to be her father, you rushed over to the group of three musicians before they disappeared again.

 “omg please don't poof out again.” You said almost out of breath

 The boys looked at you like you were crazy before the guitarist jumped off the bar counter, bursting with energy.

 "Wait, you can see us?"

 “as much as when mister "all eyes on me" made his performance”, you were pointing your head at the blond boy.

 The group looked at each other in puzzlement and Reggie finally spoke, his blue eyes full of mischief.

 “So…hi there cutie, how can we help you?”

 Your face expressed disgust and you stuck your tongue out mimicking vomiting.

Luke gave Alex an amused smile, seeing Reggie flirting and your spontaneous reaction. The bassist couldn't help but charm the pretty ladies.

 “Wow Reggie, that's gross ... you're my brother.”

  Reggie burst out laughing at your response, not noticing that you called him by his first name when he hadn't even introduced himself to you yet.

 “Yeah right, for sure. You just could tell me you weren’t interested. But I’m charming...”

 It was the first time he had been given such an excuse but you looked so serious that he stopped dead in his tracks as Luke and Alex watched you. They always knew Reggie had a sister. But the scene unfolding before their eyes seemed impossible. (Y / N) was so young when they died and now must have been around 28, something like that. But the girl in front of them was a teenager, their age. How was this possible?

 You didn't want to drop the information like that. It was worse than anything you could have imagined. But it had escaped you. Now he didn't take you seriously. Your eyes were wet with tears. It was scary to find you in front of your brother for the first time as a ghost teenager. Luke looked panicked when he noticed your eyes, squeezing Reggie's shoulder as you seemed to beg.

 “Can I ... can I meet you in a quieter time please, Reginald?”

 Your brother's eyes widened as Luke's hug on his shoulder tightened a bit. The eagerness and desperation in your voice had made both boys react, Alex was just looking at all of you like all of this wasn't real. The use of Reggie's name made him tense, surprised. Few called him Reginald. In fact, only his family, and the boys when they wanted to annoy him, called him that way. And although his nickname is obvious enough to deduce his

full first name, he deeply felt that you weren't just anyone.

  He seemed a little panicked and looked around for his friends to support him. As if the solution would fall by itself just by the presence of Luke and Alex.

 “Okay, but I want Luke and Alex’s there! What about tomorrow? I’ll give you the address!”

 Wow, that was quick.

 “hm, yeah, yeah sure, as you want”

 You nodded and Reggie silently slipped a note to the drummer. Alex took a pen, write something on a paper towel and gave it to you. You weren’t surprise, you also can make some tricks. And you just had the time to thanks them before they poofted again.

 …

 The next day, you landed in front of Julie's garage. Lucky she's at school because you shouldn't be explaining your presence, so she managed to see you the way she saw boys.

 Before entering, you peeked out the window and frowned. There seemed to be only Luke so far. He was leaning over the piano, his head in a notebook. Your body went through part of the garage door and you cleared your throat.

 “hmm, hi ... i came to see Reggie ..”

 Luke instantly raised his head and you caught his attention.

 “oh uh, hi! He should be here soon, come in.….”

 Silence felt as Luke motioned for you to sit on the couch. It was a rather pleasant studio; the plants gave a warm atmosphere to the room and the music set sent you good vibes.

 "Does your girlfriend mind that I'm here? I mean, that seems to be your HQ"

 "girlfriend?"

 "The girl you sing with" I simply said.

 "Julie? Um, yeah, she's not my girlfriend. She-sh-she’s great and we have this powerful connection but…not, not in a romantic way. Music tied us. Music and friendship "

 Luke chuckled lightly as he scratched his head. You were surprised they weren't dating. Yesterday the tension was intense. He seemed authentic when he had continued his momentum. You let out a smile amused by so much overflow.

 “It's okay, I don't need to know your full relationship statute or your social security number.”

 The guitarist gave you a frank smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement. For a ghost, his gaze was really alive.

 “ I’m Luke, by the way”

 "Y / N… Re .."

 "Reggie's little sister… I-I remember you a little."

 "You look familiar to me. Maybe I saw you in a few pictures with Reggie."

 Silence fell and you started to feel anxious. Maybe it was a bad idea? You had grown up since Reggie died ... were you still his little sister after all? Luke seemed to notice your dismay and put a comforting hand on your knee.

 “hey, is something bothering you?”

 “What if he doesn't believe me ... if he definitely thinks I'm not his sister.”

 “Let's be honest, it's a little hard to believe. The last time I saw you, you were three years old.”

 It was as if the memories flooded into your mind and let you carried away in your words.

 “Yeah, you gave me this teddy bear with a guitar and told Reggie you wanted to be my favorite.”

 Luke chuckled slightly before staring at you, speechless. He seemed dazed. This anecdote dates back to twenty-five years anyway. He himself had a hard time remembering it until you said it a few seconds earlier.

 “what was the smell of the stuffed animal?” he asked, confused about that funny fact

 “sorry, what?”

 “the plush, what did it smell like?”

 “hot waffle, why?”

 “okay ... maybe you are his sister ... tell me more about what you remember”

 You looked at him with a puzzled expression. Everything had been so natural before he stopped in all the movements. And now, it was hard to think about for the memories you had of Reggie on demand. The teddy bear given by Luke story had slipped out of your mind without you realizing it. As your brain seemed to boil, the fog of your thoughts cleared.

 “can I use your guitar?”

 “hell no ... why?” Luke exclaimed with far too much anticipation

 “I have this lullaby stuck inside of my head ... I think Reggie sang it to me when I was a child”

 Your pleading and desperate gaze fell on Luke who categorically refused to let you take his guitar. He ends up grabbing his six acoustic strings, terminated. There was something about you that made him weak.

 “Maybe you can teach me but ... my guitar is my guitar, nobody touches it.”

 You nodded and the lead singer moved closer to you. You were stunned by its smell, like a distant memory. Luke had definitely been a part of your life before he died, you were sure of that. You leaned over her shoulder, humming the lullaby that was left in your head. It didn't take long for him to find the right chords. Luke continued several times before you stopped singing, looking at him intently.

 “that's exactly it ... this lullaby”

 You both looked at each other, an indecipherable expression in your eyes. You both jumped at the sound of the garage door. Reggie appeared with Alex.

 "Ready to compose hellish songs! oh did I interrupt something?”

 "No, no I was there to see you. I guess you have a lot of questions."

 "hell yeah, can we start from the beginning?"

  You smiled to approve his request. The boys settled down on the sofa, while you sat down on one of the single armchairs. And the flow of questions began

  “When are you born?”

 “(your birthday date) 1992” you simply answered.

 “What’s your name?”

 (y/n) (y/m/n) Peters

 It’s seemed to convinced a little Reggie but doubt was all over his face.  It was information you could easily get on the internet nowadays.

 “What’s my favorite food?”

 “Pizza, mom said your favorite was the extra cheese with pepperoni”

 “And what was my favorite toy?”

 “I freaking don’t know, how can I suppose to known that?”

 “ah ah!” he pointed the finger at you, as if that answer was proof that you were lying. It broke your heart but you didn't show it.

Instead, you rolled your eyes and Reggie kept going to ask you some question. Of course, you would have liked to have answered his questions correctly. Your mother told you some anecdotes about him but not to the point of knowing all the details.

 “What’s the most terrible thing I said to my mom?”

 “Omg I don’t fucking know! I was 3 when you’re died, asshole!”

 Luke smiled when you exploded. Reggie was Reggie, as weird as possible. Now you were angry and desperate. Your brother didn’t believe you and he kept dragging you into this miserable feeling that you were never going to get your brother back. You had spent your short life living with a faint memory of him. Your blankie was one of his t-shirts, his voice reasoned in your head when you couldn’t sleep.

But then, in front of him, you were a stranger to him. Your heart was bruised from not being able to hug him and to finally meet this brother who had left far too soon.

 “Okay, okay… So, how can you proof me you’re really my sister?! “

 In the room’s corner, Luke looked at you, you looked desperate, about to cry again. He grabbed his guitar and cleared his throat. Reggie turned to him as the guitarist still had his eyes on you, a heartwarming smile hanging across his face. You had managed to convince him in a few minutes. He felt connected to you and the things you told him were disturbing. You could only be Reggie's sister; it was impossible otherwise.

 "Hey…What about the song you told me earlier." he said with a soft and comfort voice

 Your eyes caught his gaze, grateful for the initiative. You nodded and Luke started playing the few notes you had taught him a few minutes earlier. It was so different from all the songs the brunette could play before. It was a lullaby, such easy children's music with just a few notes.   Of course, the band wasn’t supposed to play when Julie wasn’t in the room but, Luke had thought it was the best thing to do to encourage you to keep going. He didn’t know why, but he wanted Reggie to believe you. Luke believed you, hard as nails. There only had to look at your eyes to understand this reality, and Luke had noticed that. You had the same blue eyes as your brother. How could Reggie still doubt that? You started to sing

 You're so sleepy

Very much sleepy

You want to go to the fairyland

You close your eyes

And jump into your dream.

When you'll wake up

I’ll still be on your team.

 The instant Reggie heard the first notes, he knew. But hearing you sing the lullaby he had invented for you when you didn't want to sleep as a child, was a magical moment. You were his baby sister. He gave you that sad little puppy face, so overwhelmed. Reggie opened his arms and you jumped into a hug, so glad he finally accepted the fact that you were his sister.

You felt oddly safe again, like taking a nap in Reggie's pile of old t-shirts. You were so happy to find your brother and to be able to live your non-life by his side. Nothing would be as boring as it used to be. Reggie pushed you away with a concerned look

 "but wait ... how did you die?"

 "Yeah ... I don't really know ... I was at a really, really good rock concert and I bought this drink ... and I think I got drugged up there and ... I guess I'm dead? tadaa " you tried to tell him in a light tone.

He had just learned that he had a little sister. He didn't have to know that she was sneaking out at rock concerts and drinking alcohol before she was old enough. Right? Alex looked at Luke and Reggie with his half amused half confused smile. As for Luke, he fidgeted from foot to foot at the discovery. Y / N was as much rock and roll as they all were. Rebellion had to be his middle name

You loosened Reggie's embrace and lowered your head, pursing your lips so as not to show your embarrassment. He asked if you wanted snacks and you nodded. There was a slight silence. You didn't notice the urgent look Luke gave Alex but the next moment the blond jumped up to accompany the bassist, leaving you alone in the garage with the lead singer.

 The silences were a little longer until Luke cautiously approached you. You could feel the awkwardness from miles away.

 “ Sooo, you made this.”

 “ yeah ...” you answered in a shy voice

 It was the moment you had to thank him but your words seemed frozen. You mustered all the courage to plant your gaze in Luke's eyes.

 “Thank you ... for helping me earlier.”

 “oh it was nothing”.

 “I ... yes, yes it was. You can't imagine how important seeing Reggie again is to me. Thanks for ... for helping me open his eyes.”

 A slight smile caught his lips and he reached for your cheek before stopping his gesture. Instead of stroking your skin, he simply put a section of your hair back behind your ear.

 “I would do anything for my best friends.”

 And Reggie was definitely one of Luke’s best friend. You hardly swallowed, your stomach contorting under the effect that the guitarist made you. Time had seemed to fly at an incredible speed as the moment was interrupted by Reggie and Alex coming back to you.

 “OMG LUKE DON’T FLIRT WITH MY SISTER, SHE’S 3!”

 You cleared your throat and stepped aside to pull yourself away from Luke as far as possible. Your gaze fell on your brother and you raised an eyebrow at the last remark. 3 years old, really? You were 3 years old twenty-five years ago ... now you were eternally a teenager

 “I’m seventeen.”

 “Listen, i'm your big brother, you’re three, end of discussion.”

 Your face wanted to laugh and you pursed your lips to keep from succumbing. But your eyes… Your eyes met Luke's in a complicity that slowly settled. Could you fall in love with your big brother's best friend? Definitely yes...

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Misread Details, Part Two

CW: Described death of whumper, BBU, implications of pet whump, references to noncon, dehumanization, sadistic whumper

Part One: Nanda | Part Two: Brute | Part Three: Robert

The Unsolved Murder of Henry “Brute” Hanlon and the Box Boy Killer

r/LetsTalkTrueCrime

•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee

2 weeks ago

I’m back, r/LetsTalkTrueCrime! I really appreciated the questions and discussion under my last write-up, and a few of you really encouraged me to keep working to provide a part two to my Serial Killer Box Boy series, so here it is!

In Part One, we looked at the mysterious death of Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson, who died of cardiac arrest due to an undiagnosed heart defect (and likely head trauma played a part) and was found at the bottom of the stairs inside his California home. The only valuable possession missing from his property was his legally-purchased Box Boy, who fled the city wearing Nathaniel Benson’s shoes and using his money to buy a bus and then train ticket. 

The last confirmed sighting of the runaway Box Boy (and Benson’s possible killer?) was in Red Hills, California, a large-ish city a couple hours south of Benson’s house by train. 

Questions remain around Benson’s death: did he suffer cardiac arrest and fall down the stairs? Did the Box Boy push him, with the shock of the trauma and injury leading to the heart attack that killed him?

Is the Box Boy merely a witness to a tragic but natural death, or the prime murder suspect?

And most importantly: If he wasn’t guilty, why did he run?

Less than a full calendar year after Benson’s death, the question of where the Boxie went after Benson died was answered… but even that answer only opened up more questions, and the sudden death of a second man places even more uncertainty into the story of a Boxie who might simply be an innocent victim - or who could be a serial killer whose makes a victim out of those who give him shelter.

Which leads us to the story of Henry James Hanlon, known to nearly everyone - including his wife - as “Brute”.

Henry Hanlon was born in a small town in Texas, but moved to Red Hills, California after finishing a stint in the Air Force. 

His parents, James Hanlon and Estella Hanlon, maiden name Brickers, had had their first child, Henry’s older brother William “Bill”, right out of high school, born six months after their wedding day. Henry came three years later, and his sister Roberta “Bobbie” one year after that.

Henry was a perfectly normal, cheerful little boy, always toddling after his older brother and trying to join in the games of the older kids in town. His parents recalled him as the quintessential “middle child”, always resolving disputes and quietly getting things done. He received his nickname of “Brute” in fifth grade, when a classroom bully was harassing a female friend of Henry’s and Henry decided to take action. The only information I could really hunt down on this was some old school records that I found on a message board, and I can’t really verify if they’re real, but they suggest that the bully was sent home injured and Henry received a three-day suspension.

After that, it seems, anyone and everyone - even teachers - called Henry Hanlon “Brute”, and he never seemed to mind.

He received perfectly average grades, enlisted in the Air Force, served without distinction but without any significant incidents, and afterwards he moved out to California, where he settled into Red Hills (then a city with a thriving industrial district that was slowly beginning its slide into something rougher) and took a job with a manufacturing company, working in their warehouse.

“Brute” dated around a bit, but it wasn’t until three years after his move that he met the woman he would marry, Ellen Patricia Barry. She was a few years younger than him, and they met at a local bar that both were known to frequent. One of Brute’s former coworkers told police that Brute was big into pool and poker, both of which he would engage in when he went to the bar, and that he met Ellen during one of the poker nights, and that Brute stated that how easily she beat him was one of the reasons he was interested in her romantically.

Ellen claims they first spoke while playing pool, not poker, and also claims she’s never played poker in her life. Why Brute would have told his coworkers a different story is unclear. 

They dated for about a year before they wed at Grace Baptist Church on a sunny summer day in 20XX. Ellen’s father gave her away while Brute’s little sister was the maid of honor. A year later, Brute’s daughter Elizabeth was born, and a couple years after that, their son Daniel.

The Hanlons lived a charmed life - they owned a cute three-bedroom cottage home (bought and given to them by Ellen’s parents as a wedding gift) in a good part of town with a little white fence around the property and a yard big enough for the children and dog to play in. Ellen was part of the local PTA and active in her church, and Brute himself had the appearance of a man totally content with everything he had.

But Brute Hanlon had a secret.

Ellen continued to believe he was employed by the manufacturing company, but he actually left his employment there years before his death. Instead, he seems to have transitioned into making his money “under the table”. Ellen wouldn’t discover any of this until after his body was located… in a secret house he’d never told her about, in one of the roughest parts of Red Hills.

Without her knowledge, Brute purchased a two-bedroom home with cash directly from its previous owner that was badly in need of repair in the Pauls Mill neighborhood. Once a “company town” from the 1930’s - 1950’s that was absorbed into Red Hills as it grew in the 60’s, Pauls Mill today is the kind of neighborhood where everyone knows if you belong there, or don’t, and it’s best if you belong.

Brute performed a few very cursory repairs to keep it livable, laid down some new carpet, and then used it as a kind of secret base for the unsavory activities he didn’t want Ellen or the children to know about.

While his family believed he was at work at the factory, Hanlon was in fact hosting poker games, selling illicit narcotics and unlicensed firearms, and generally making quite a bit more money than he had with legal employment entirely under-the-table. He would spend his day making connections (and money) through these activities, then go home right at 5 pm sharp to his loving family, eat dinner at 6 pm, help his kids with their homework and hear about their day, and settle in for an evening playing the loving husband and doting dad.

Somewhere during this time period, Brute told Ellen he was setting up a “poker night” with his friends again, now that the kids were school-aged. 

What he did instead was drive down to the corner of Holt and McCormick streets, known to all locals as the Red Hills “red light district”, and pick up prostitutes, usually simply meeting with them in his car, but occasionally taking them to a nearby motel.

After his body was found, police showed his picture around to a variety of the individuals who make their living at Holt and McCormick, and more than a dozen locals immediately recognized him. 

Some described him as a regular customer who wasn’t particularly special or notable beyond the simple fact that he never tried to renege on payment and could be relied on to always be looking for someone on a particular night of the week… but others, almost entirely male, said he could be violent. A few described being injured enough that they had to seek medical treatment after meeting him. The same individuals stated that he insisted on using dehumanizing and insulting language to speak to them during these encounters, and that he was often unable to perform unless he did so.

One individual, who gave his name as “Mix”, mentioned that the last few times Brute had engaged his services, he had brought along a collar and insisted Mix pretend to be a Box Boy. 

During this time period, Brute continued to be an active, involved, and loving parent. 

He was home right on time every night except “poker night”, attended his chlidrens’ recitals and baseball games on the weekends. He often took them to the Red Hills Zoo, local parks, and even did a weekend trip to Berras to see the Berras Aquarium, stay overnight in a hotel as a family, and then visit a redwoods park before returning home.

Six months before his death, Brute’s visits to the red light district abruptly stopped. Instead, he apparently met with a local prostitute, engaged his services, and took him home… for good. 

The best record we have is that one woman, Needie Brandt, remembered seeing Brute leading a shorter, angular young man to his car one night, and described the young man as “one of those runaway Boxies, collar and all. Poor thing was half-starved”. 

Runaways, especially Romantics, are picked up by police from time to time in Red Hills. Most Romantics don’t really know any other way to survive, so prostitution is a common way to make ends meet. Needie said the young man had been seen around the area for a couple of weeks, right alongside the rest of the working people in the red light district, and that after this one night she saw Brute Hanlon lead him into the car, she didn’t see him again.

Asked if she remembered a name, Needie only shrugged and said that even if she did, it wouldn’t be a real one. Which is probably a good point. 

Somewhere in here, Brute began to date outside of his marriage while his family believed he was out with friends playing poker. He took dancing lessons with one Susan Krieger, had a serious relationship with a Lucy Graham, and was apparently occasionally taking a Natalie Dorn out for dinner.

Ellen was never informed about these out-of-wedlock interests. 

Brute’s family knew nothing. When his eldest son went to state with marching band his freshman year of high school, Brute Hanlon was right there cheering him on.

Then, just two days later, he presumably went right back to brutalizing the Box Boy he was keeping in his secret second home.

We don’t have a record of what exactly transpired within the house after Brute took the runaway Box Boy in. What we do know is what the police found later on.

On October 18th, 20XX, around midnight, Ellen Hanlon called police to report her husband missing after he did not return from his regular poker night. His car was located in the parking lot of an abandoned FoodMart, but a friend of Brute’s came forward to say he often parked there and carpooled with friends when going out.

None of Brute’s possessions were inside, and it didn’t appear the car had been touched by anyone but Brute himself when it was dusted for fingerprints or signs of DNA. Brute’s friends who knew about his secret activities weren’t telling, and Ellen and the children didn’t know anything about their seemingly loving husband and father’s double-life. 

At first, the trail seemed like it would go cold, and investigators were frustrated that they had so little to go on.

Then, on October 29th, 20XX, Brute’s neighbor (who apparently asked that his name not be given) called the police department complaining about how the small two-bedroom house next door had begun to smell “like something died in there”, and that he hadn’t seen his neighbor leave or return in days, which was very unusual.

When police arrived, the front door was unlocked. Officer William Keys, the first one inside, later described the smell as “unmistakable. I knew exactly what we’d find the second we walked in that door.”

He was right.

What they found was the bloodied and decomposing body of Henry “Brute” Hanlon, lying on his back in the middle of a small unremarkable living room, on a dirty and stained carpet. He had been viciously stabbed more than fifty times. One even went so far into Brute that there was an exit wound through his back. Medical examiners would later state that at least seven of his wounds would have been directly fatal, but that he had died within the first few and most of the wounds were technically post-mortem.

The murder had been committed by someone who had a very personal reason for the killing. Investigators believe this individual was “absolutely enraged”.  

Next to his body was the murder weapon, along with a set of buckles and strips of leather that mystified the officers. These were eventually identified as modified leg braces, but rather than straightening bent or injured legs, they forced the wearer to keep their legs at nearly right angles, which would ensure they had to crawl rather than walk. They appeared to be homemade.

Bloodied smears and footprints led the officers down a hallway and to the bathroom, where there was evidence someone had showered, changed clothes, and then left.

The same neighbor who informed police about the smell also remembered seeing, on October 16th or 17th (later determined that it was likely the 17th, the day that Brute did not return home from “work”), a young man wearing an oversized coat, sweatpants, and a too-large t-shirt walk out of Hanlon’s house and down the street. The young man was on the short side, the neighbor said, had an angular face, and a visible scar at the corner of his mouth and another along the side of his face. He had the collar of the coat flipped up, and the neighbor doesn’t recall if he wore a collar or not.

He had dark eyes, and short but shaggy dark hair that seemed to have been cut hurriedly and unevenly, and he waved at Hanlon’s neighbor without pausing or speaking as he walked past.

Tests on fingerprints and DNA located within Brute Hanlon’s secret second home would reveal that the Box Boy who once ran from Nathaniel Benson after his death was the exact same one who ran from Brute Hanlon after murdering him. The Boxie’s fingerprints were all over the murder weapon… and everywhere else, too.

Within Brute’s home, more knives were found, along with what looked like a badly-crafted homemade whip and some other supplies. A few of the things investigators found appeared to be essentially identical to what was found in Nathaniel Benson’s home. Other things were different (“animalization” was mentioned in some of the reports, but what I’ve been able to find is seriously vague for some reason). 

Possibly related, a series of dog leashes purchased from a local pet-supply store were found throughout the home, but there was no evidence of an actual dog. In the home’s main bedroom was a perfectly normal queen-sized bed that was clearly Brute’s, with a small side table, a large dresser, and an attached bathroom. 

There was absolutely nothing outwardly out of the ordinary, besides the room being very plain and impersonal. Makes sense, since Brute almost never slept there. 

In the second bedroom, however, there was army-style cot with a thin blanket and sheet, three folded shirts on the floor, two sets of bloody metal handcuffs hanging off the cot’s frame at the top and bottom, and a bucket next to the bed. Two metal bowls, clearly of a style meant to be a dog’s food and water bowls, were next to the door. One still had water in it. The window was painted and nailed shut, and bars had been installed over the windows.

Investigators determined the bars were on the house when Brute Hanlon purchased it and had been installed by the previous owner. No reason for that installation was ever given.

Investigation revealed trace amounts of evidence of blood, but nothing much. However, the living room and dining area both showed poorly-cleaned bloodstains that were much older than Hanlon’s murder, including discolored patches on the walls.

A contract for a 24/7 “master/slave” style relationship was found in the top drawer of the dresser, signed ‘Pet’ at the bottom, and with Brute’s name alongside it. However, both signatures match Hanlon’s handwriting, and the Boxie is not believed to have actively signed it, as he would be illiterate at best. Plus, Box Boys are not legally allowed to enter into any contract, anyway, since they can’t understand obligations at that level, so even if he had signed it, it wouldn’t have been considered remotely valid.

I mean, not that those contracts are legal, but... you get my point.

Also located in that drawer were more than one hundred photographs showing the Boxie in a variety of compromising situations and positions. Several of these photos had Brute himself clearly visible in them, and a few had other individuals who have since been identified as Brute’s associates in his more illicit activities.

Interrogations of those associates led to more than seven further arrests for illegal gambling, the production and sale of illicit drugs, and illegal weapons sales. Those interrogations are also how we know about what Brute Hanlon was up to in-between Little League games and Girl Scout meetings.

Those associates claim that Brute kept a “secondhand Box Boy”, muzzled him so he couldn’t speak whenever guests were over, and that often ‘poker night’ simply turned into a game where the assorted guests and Brute himself repeatedly assaulted the Boxie. The associates claimed they thought the entire thing was consensual, but frankly… given the overwhelming evidence that the Boxie had to be kept restrained and was often seriously injured by these assaults... that’s doubtful.

Ellen and her children, who had previously been very visible and spoke often to local news stations about Henry’s disappearance, withdrew after his body was found and his second, secret life revealed - and have never given a single public statement or made a public appearance since. 

Ellen moved her children out of Red Hills, moving back in with her own parents, briefly, in northern California. Where they went after that is unknown, but they appear to have left the state and Ellen may have changed her surname. Investigators are firm in their belief that Ellen knew nothing about her husband’s secret life.

I would give my right arm to know what his son and daughter think about it, and if they ever suspected what their devoted dad was up to when he wasn’t at home.

So, what happened to the Boxie after he left the house and disappeared down the block from the witness who saw him?

In short… no one knows for sure.

After murdering Brute Hanlon and cleaning off the evidence that must have been all over him, the Boxie simply fades away. He could have been anywhere, doing anything at all. There is a brief sighting of him on CCTV footage at the local bus station, where he is in line to buy a ticket… and then abruptly looks up, apparently noticing the camera and looking directly into it, then turns and walks quickly away.

The footage is grainy, but the Boxie does appear to be wearing his collar.

He isn’t seen in Red Hills again.

Instead, he reappears one more time before his final murder and disappearance… more than a year later, in a little town right along the border with Nevada.

Part 3 will go into how the investigation into the death of a quiet little oddball named Robert Weber reveals a basement full of skeletal bodies. But our Boxie isn’t the cause.

Instead, Robert Weber’s murder solves a series of related murders police had been stymied by for more than a decade, and a Box Boy who may have been meant to be Weber’s next victim instead turned accidental vigilante with a final killing of his own.

Or maybe I should say, his final killing so far.

-

@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @eatyourdamnpears @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @outofangband @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @oops-its-whump @endless-whump @cubeswhump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @whumpiary 

[intjpersephone]

🧠Since memorizing everything is some hard shit, allow me... 🧠

Science has my entire back on this one...

Now, I'm gonna be talking about three techniques, two of them are gonna help if you have a test really soon the other one is in for a long run.

"The Generation Effect"

being tested is supposed to help others evaluate your progress, but it turns out that testing isn't a very good evaluation tool.

It actually functions better as a learning tool but only if used properly. This may seem Counter-Intuitive but first, you should test yourself before you even know the material. For example, start with the practice test even before you started studying it. You'll get answers wrong, But your brain is forced to generate answers, you'll be creative, panicked and end up priming your neurology to learn the correct new answers. This technique works on "The Hypercorrection Effect": when you make a mistake on some type of general information and later find out you're wrong, you're much more likely to remember the correct answer. For example, you're certain the capital city of India is Mumbai but later find out it is in fact New Delhi, you are much more likely to remember that forever compared to somebody who was just simply told the answer New Delhi.

Your brain Hypercorrects. One theory behind this states that surprise and embarrassment play a role, That's why you probably remember everything embarrassing thing that happened to you so far 😂(😥)

Now My Personal Experience: On this one, in April, I had a 20 marks test every week and so my teachers would ask us questions related to the test during classes and I used to get most of them wrong, and after the embarrassment, the test came I actually did better than my classmates.

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

"Spacing"

This one is the one for the long run now...

For spacing, you're gonna wanna practice and then almost forget the material and then practice again.

One particular study had students learning Spanish, each group had eight hours to study. The first group studied intensively for eight hours in one day while the second group studied for four hours one day and then one month later studied for another four hours and an entire month later.

So both groups had the same amount of study time just distributed differently. After only getting 8 hours of practice they tested them 8 years later.

Both groups were tested on their Spanish vocabulary and by now you probably guessed the group that spaced their studying over a month gap performed 250% better. Remember this is 8 years later that they're being tested.

My Personal Experience On This: So, in 4/5th grade, I used to jump from learning greek to french to Spanish and so on, so last year staying inside I picked french again, remember this is 4/5 years later, and remembered all the basics very well! I was surprised but now it makes sense!

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

"Interleaving"

So, what studies have found is that instead of studying the same thing over and over again, if you mix up or vary the challenge the benefits are huge. At the moment this process might be a lot more frustrating and you may even think that you are learning more slowly but that's why it's so counterintuitive.

Let's take a look at some examples that could apply to your life. All of which have come from a wonderful book called "Range" by David Epison. if you have any interest in high performance and improving skills, this books will change your perspective so I highly recommend it.

First, we are gonna talk about motor skills like piano, so a particularly tricky thing to do is jump "A", big inter violin-piano really quickly so say starting at "C" and then jumping 20 keys really quickly, it takes a lot of coordination and muscle memories to do that quickly without thinking about it without accidentally hitting other keys along the way.

So this study had one group practised the 20 keys jump over and over and they have gone relatively good at it pretty quickly. But the second group had practised not only the 20 key jumps but also mixing a 15 key jump and 10 key jumps

So, ultimately they had to practise but the 20 key jumps but had interleaved or mixed practised by using a bunch of different intervals obviously it would have been a lot more frustrating to be learning multiple intervals at once the 20 key, the 15 key, the 10 key but when they brought the groups back what they found was that the group that practised interleaved or mixed practised was better every single interval including the 20 key jumps. Even though they technically had less practice with it the same has been shown in mathematics. Rather than practising one type of problem over and over, mixing different kinds of problems in between makes the process harder but develops stronger skills.

It's very shocking how bigger difference this type of interleaving makes.

Looked at math skills in grade 7 students. Those that used interleaving or mixed practice saw an effect size of approving someone's from the 50% of skill to the 80%, that is like being an average student to being someone who is definitely something brown parents will dig, which is an ultimate math god.

If you're using cue cards makes sure you're mixing up different themes within those cue cards.

My Personal Experience On This: Now, I have never really tried this before, so that's why I tried my best to elaborate on it as much as I could. But while researching on this, so far this one deeply impressed me, and my mom was a mathematics teacher before my brother was born (she also taught commerce but that's irrelevant) so, she was a middle and high school teacher and she ALWAYS keeps suggesting me, but hey, there's a reason I say relatable to a meme which is about being a disappointment 😐, anyway, I do really look forward to trying this one.

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

All this research is incredibly significant because of evidence-based solutions especially in space like education.

And the idea for today's post was suggested by my wonderful girl, @agents-of-shield-fan

and if you want me to make my next post on something you have in my mind, tell me!

Now go ahead and ✨ S H I N E ✨ babe 🤗🌿💕

[paralleljulieverse]

‘Gentlemen like you are few...’: A Supercentenary Tribute to Irwin Kostal

1 October 2021 marks the 110th anniversary of the birth of Irwin Kostal, the musical arranger, orchestrator and conductor whose work helped shape the sound of the post-war American stage and screen musical. In this post we look back at the career of this remarkable 'music man’ with a particular focus on his collaborations with the equally remarkable Julie Andrews -- who, as it happens, shares the same birthday, so this post is doing double birthday honours.

A gentle, unassuming man, Kostal or ‘Irv’ as he was known by associates, was not one for the limelight. It’s possibly why he gravitated to the ‘behind-the-scenes’ art of musical arranging. Unlike composers, performers, or even conductors, arrangers seldom loom large in public perceptions of professional musicianship. They are, for the most part, the ‘invisible artists’ of the music industry: their contributions to the sound and experience of music are immense, but they remain largely ‘uncredited in records, liner notes or books or records’ (Niles 2104, p. 4). That Irwin Kostal would ultimately prove a rare exception to this tradition of thankless anonymity -- becoming sufficiently well-known to have his own name not only included on recordings, but emblazoned on the front cover alongside those of the ‘star’ vocalists with whom he worked -- is a testament to the singularity of his talents. 

Born the son of first generation immigrant parents in Chicago in 1911, Kostal claimed he was instantly ‘smitten’ by music when he saw a piano at the age of two-and-a-half, but his family was too poor to afford such luxuries. Moreover, his father -- a hard-drinking Czech with a fiery temper -- was ‘rigidly opposed’ to his interests in music and ‘could see no future in it’ (’Irwin’ 1962, p. 70). So Kostal initially had to content himself with listening and absorbing as much musical knowledge as he could indirectly. When he was eleven, his father finally brought home a broken player piano salvaged from a removals job and it provided the young Kostal with the launch pad he needed. 

Kostal devoted himself to his musical education with single-minded zeal. His formal training was intermittent -- enabled by a supportive mother who ‘surreptitiously managed to save money from her weekly allowance for my musical instruction’ (’Irwin’ 1962, p. 70) -- but he was a passionate autodidact who would spend countless hours studying and practising on his own. By age 15, he was already playing professionally with local touring bands, while also offering his own services as a piano teacher with, at one point, more than 40 pupils (ibid.).

When he wasn’t playing, Kostal would be found in the local library poring over musical scores and reading about the greats of the classical canon. He was particularly intrigued by orchestration and the possibilities it offered for varying the sound and feel of music. He recalls how he would take orchestral scores home and study all the parts learning ‘about musical instruments I never knew existed’ (Suskin 2009, p. 56).  He progressively worked his way through the music of the masters, going alphabetically: 

‘Bach...Beethoven, Brahms, Debussy, Elgar, Frank, Gounod, on and on through the alphabet...I tried to absorb everything. By the time I came to Ravel, Tchaikovsky and Wagner, I knew quite a lot about music in a jumbled way’ (Suskin 2009, p. 57).

While still in his teens, Kostal started to experiment with arrangements of his own, scoring a high school production of Uncle Tom’s Cabin with multiple variations on the American folk melody ‘Way Down upon the Swanee River’. ‘By taking away the rhythmic aspects and playing it in a minor key,’ he recounts, ‘I found lots of ways to play this song, making it fit the dramatics of the half-hour long story’ (ibid., p. 56). Thus, Irwin Kostal the arranger was born.

Throughout the 1930s and early-40s, Kostal honed his talents in a professional capacity, working with various big bands, before finally landing a job as a resident arranger for an NBC radio affiliate in Chicago. Following the war, Kostal moved to New York where, after a rocky start, he secured regular work as conductor and arranger on a number of long-running radio and TV variety shows including Your Show of Shows (1950-54), Max Liebman Presents (1954-56), and The Garry Moore Show (1959-63). It was demanding, fast-paced work with Kostal having to arrange and orchestrate hundreds of score pages a week, but it consolidated his musical versatility and capacity to work across a wide range of styles and forms (Suskin 2009, pp. 57-60).

Throughout this period, Kostal was also orchestrating for Broadway shows, racking up over 52 credits on theatre productions big and small (Allen 1995, p. 18). Many of these assignments were done in a ‘ghost-writer’ capacity including contributing work to such classic musicals as Wonderful Town (1953), The Pajama Game (1953) and Silk Stockings (1955). A major breakthrough came when Kostal was contracted to work in a credited capacity as co-orchestrator on the original Broadway production of West Side Story (1958) -- collaborating with Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim and Sid Ramin. It earned him his first Grammy Award and a subsequent invitation to arrange and orchestrate a string of other big Broadway musicals including Fiorello! (1959), Sail Away (1961) and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1962).

The success of West Side Story also saw Kostal do repeat honours on the film version (1961) which would, in turn, earn him an Academy Award and kickstart a hugely successful Hollywood career. In 1963, Kostal was invited by none other than Walt Disney to take on the major job of arranging the songs for Mary Poppins (1964) which had been written by the in-house Disney composing team of Richard M. and Robert B. Sherman. The Sherman Brothers claim to have suggested Kostal because they were fans of his Broadway work and they wanted a bright theatrical sound for the score. However, Walt Disney demurred. He reasoned it was a period film and they needed someone who could write music for any style or era, suggesting they get the musical director from The Garry Moore Show instead. Cue mutual delight when it was discovered they were all referring to the same man, Irwin Kostal (Sherman & Sherman 1998; Suskin 2009, p. 65).

Kostal’s work on Mary Poppins catapulted him to new heights of mainstream success. It not only secured him another Academy Award nomination -- he lost to Andre Previn for his work on My Fair Lady -- but it also brought him a tidy fortune in royalties from the film’s best-selling soundtrack album (’Kostal’s’ $65,000′, 57). His fame -- and fortune -- skyrocketed even further the following year when Kostal was contracted to arrange the score for The Sound of Music (1965). His dazzling efforts on this box-office blockbuster confirmed Kostal’s status as Hollywood’s presiding musical wonder-boy and saw him walk home with his second Oscar. A string of other big screen musicals followed including Half a Sixpence (1967), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971). 

Many of these films were repeat collaborations because Kostal favoured working with people he knew and with whom he clicked personally and creatively. He would for example continue as the de facto ‘house’ arranger for Disney well into the 1980s, working on various assignments for the studio including Pete’s Dragon (1978), Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983) and the controversial re-recorded 1982 release of Fantasia (1940/1982) (Tietyan 1990). Kostal would also maintain a long association with the Sherman Brothers, acting as musical arranger for all their big screen musicals including the aforementioned Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971), as well as Tom Sawyer (1973); Charlotte’s Web (1973); and The Magic of Lassie (1978) (Sherman & Sherman 1998).

The other great collaboration of Kostal’s career was of course with Julie Andrews. Perhaps it was the fact that the pair shared the same birthday but Kostal had an extraordinarily sympathetic relationship with Julie and he would work with her more than any other vocalist. Long before they teamed on Poppins and The Sound of Music, Julie and ‘Irv’ were making musical magic together. Kostal was the arranger and conductor for Julie’s first two solo albums for RCA: The Lass with the Delicate Air (1957) and Julie Andrews Sings (1958) where his sensitive facility with a wide range of musical idioms from English classical to Broadway and Tin Pan Alley came to the fore. Reviewing the first of these albums at the time of its original release, one music critic lauded it as ‘a record to charm every member of the family...[with] a combination of sincerity and simplicity and wholesome sweetness...Thank goodness arranger and conductor Irwin Kostal met the challenge and set the ballads winningly without overpowering Miss Andrews’ light pure tones’ (RRS 1958, p. 5A). In a similar vein, another reviewer praised the second album for ‘its charming unforced version of standards, well known and almost forgotten...Miss Andrews still sings naturally and purely [and] the deft accompaniments played by an orchestra under Irwin Kostal are agreeably restrained’ (Masters 1959, p. 11).

In this early period Kostal also worked with Julie as guest star on several episodes of The Garry Moore Show, where he was resident musical director. In this context, Kostal was pivotal in helping establish the legendary teaming of Julie and Carol Burnett which came out of the Garry Moore appearances. He would go on to act as musical director for their breakout 1962 TV special Julie and Carol at Carnegie Hall which would earn Kostal his first Emmy (Taraborelli 1988, pp. 172-79). He would secure his second Emmy a few years later working with Julie again on the 1965 variety special, The Julie Andrews Show (1965) where, among other highlights, Kostal scored a series of stellar song-and-dance medleys for Julie and guest star Gene Kelly. The same year, Kostal teamed up with Julie on yet another recording with the 1965 edition of the annual Firestone Christmas albums. 

It was however their combined work on the two big musical mega-hits, Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music, that secured the Kostal-Andrews partnership a place in the history books. A cultural phenomenon of the highest order, the soundtrack recordings for these two films remain among the most successful albums of all time. Mary Poppins held the #1 spot on the US national music charts for 14 consecutive weeks in 1964, beating out Elvis Presley and The Beatles (Hollis and Erhbar 2006, pp.72ff). The album for The Sound of Music sold over 9 million copies in its first four years of release alone, remaining in the Billboard Top 100 for an unbelievable five-and-a-half years, and becoming the highest selling LP of all-time in the US up to that date (Murrells, 1978)  The Sound of Music continued its record-breaking run abroad, dominating the international charts and holding the #1 spot for 75 weeks in Australia, 73 weeks in Norway and 70 weeks in the UK, becoming in the process the single biggest selling album worldwide of the 1960s (Harker, 1992, pp. 189-91).

Commentators have frequently singled out the combination of Julie Andrews’ soaring vocals and Kostal’s dynamic arrangements as instrumental to the phenomenal success of these two albums. ‘Miss Andrews glows--positively glows--right through the record groove, vinyl disc, amplifiers, speakers, and all other mechanical barriers,’ enthused one contemporary reviewer of the Mary Poppins soundtrack, noting how the ‘songs that Richard M. and Robert B. Sherman have written’ and ‘the handsome arrangements by Irwin Kostal have the perfect balance ‘of lilt and flair to provide Miss Andrews with an effective working basis’ (Wilson 1965, p. 109). Apropos The Sound of Music, another critic pronounced it ‘as good a reproduction of a score as has ever been made’, noting how it ‘presents Julie in a most appealing role and given the splendid musical direction of Irwin Kostal, her talent comes shining through...as a treat beyond measure’ (Moore 1965, p. B6). 

In total, Julie Andrews and Irwin Kostal would work together on six recordings, two musical motion pictures, two television specials, and a host of other TV appearances representing some of the very best of Julie’s musical work during her heyday of the 1960s. Considered alongside the wealth of Kostal’s other work across film, stage, television and recording, it’s hard not to concur with Disney’s Nelson Meecham who, on the occasion of Kostal’s passing in 1994, eulogised: ‘He brought the joy of music to more people than it is possible to count’ (Allen, p. 19).

Sources:

Allen, John F 1995. ‘Remembering a Music Man: On the life and work of Irwin Kostal.’ Boxoffice. August: pp. 18-19.

Harker, Dave 1992. ‘Still Crazy After All These Years: What was popular music in the 1960s?” Cultural Revolution? The challenge of the arts in the 1960s. Bart Moore-Gilbert and John Seed, eds. Routledge, London and New York: pp. 186-200.

Hollis, Tim and Erhbar, Greg 2006. Mouse Tracks: The Story of Walt Disney Records. Jackson: University Press of Mississippi.

‘Irwin Kostal: Music in all its many forms is his life.’ (1962). The Province. 2 June: p. 70.

’Kostal’s’ $65,000 Poppins Score’ 1965. Variety. 10 March: p. 57

Levy, Charles 1964. Mary Poppins: About the stars and photo-story features [Press kit]. Buena Vista Distribution, New York. 

Masters, John 1959. ‘Off the Record: Enchanting Music.’ The Age. 7 January: p. 11.

Moore, Robert 1965. ‘Record Turntable: Julie Andrews out in front again in film album of”Sound of Music”.’ The Arizona Daily Star. 7 March: p. B6.

Murrells, Joseph, ed. 1978. Book of Golden Discs: Records that sold a million. Barrie & Jenkins, New York.

Niles, Richard 2014. The Invisible Artist: Arrangers in popular music (1950-2000). BMI, London.

Oliver, Myrna. 1994. ‘Obituaries: Irwin Kostal; Film, TV Orchestrator.’ The Los Angeles Times. 1 December: P. B8.

RRS 1958. ‘On the Record: ‘Lass with the Delicate Air.’ Bristol Herald Courier. 9 February: p. 5A.

Sherman, Robert B &  Sherman, Richard M 1998. Walt's Time: From before to beyond. Camphor Tree, Santa Clarita, CA.

Suskin, Steven 2009. The Sound of Broadway Music: A book of orchestrators and orchestrations, Oxford University Press, New York.

Taraborelli, J. Randy 1988. Laughing Till It Hurts: The complete life and career of Carol Burnett. William Morrow & Co, New York.

Tietyan, David 1990. The Musical World of Walt Disney. H. Leonard, Milwaukee, Wis. 

Wilson, John S. 1965. ‘The Lighter Side’. High Fidelity Magazine. 15: 4: pp. 107-111.

© 2021, Brett Farmer. All Rights Reserved.