#this ship is so funny

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[thoodleoo]

hey um so i slowly started replacing all of your boyfriend's parts with indistinguishable, identical parts and now he's not sure he's your boyfriend anymore. sorry about that

[jazzkolart]

This is how their meeting would look like, right?

I can't wait to put them into the same team with no synergy between them whatsover, just because of their aesthetics.

[yugiohz]

this is so funny

[ca-3]

twitter is distracting cause i keep saving tweets to draw... anyway, this is MakoHaru to me 🤭

(Bonus: big sis is here to help....?)

[hamletthedane]

my brother just called me late at night, barely able to get two words out because he was laughing so hard. Finally, through the wheezing, he told me “go google the new Gollum game. Please”

So I did. And now I just spent half an hour on the phone nearly dying. We just kept sending eachother pictures of Gollum from the game and LOSING IT all over again. I haven’t laughed this hard in YEARS.

[izzyliker]

i’m not like an incest shipper (although like yeah me and 10k other people shipped wincest in 2013) but the more i see people absolutely losing their minds over the concept of fictional incest the more i laugh like come the fuck on now like this trope is quite literally hundreds of years old and we’re acting like it was invented by fanfiction writers. “richard siken condones incest” “ethel cain condones incest” you mean the artists who write about the rotten and the wretched and the unhealthy and the abusive enjoy digging into fictional relationships that are just that. have you lost your goddamned minds. do you ever read anything except for steven universe fanfiction. like could you handle a 12th grade english lit module on the god of small things.

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

[seawaveleo]

i'm he's -> <- he'm i's

[katnissandpeetamellark]

More random Incorrect quotes 🫶

[taptrial2]

WHY WERENT THEY ENDGAME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[pseudophan]

nobody knows their audience better than dan and phil

[tenowls]

teacher getou au...... wauh

[pigdemonart]

Theres just some stuff you’re more comfortable telling your friends about than your own family ya know 👀 some stuff is-a private!

Anyways, finally drew my sweet Daisy. Also finally colored a comic. And i can’t wait to never do that again fjfnfnf

Like my art? Please consider tipping!

[temeyes]

LT's quite the romantic, isn't he?

[ao3-crack]

(x)