#this turned out looking so aggressively 90s my god

[kyngsnake]

butch lesbians love his fashion taste

[br7ght]

Little Slut millie bright

summary: Your on-pitch rivalry with Millie Bright turns into a night you'll never forget

warnings: dom!millie, sub!reader, hate sex, gagging, degradation, praise kink (shocker), fingering, spanking, cunnilingus, and an embarrassingly large amount of dirty talk.

pairing: millie bright x reader

word count: 6000 [i genuinely could not stop writing and it's still going to be a two-parter ;)]

SMUT 18+

Just a simple reminder that this is fiction! If you don't like this content then simply do not read it! You have been warned

It was the third day of training camp and Sarina had you and the rest of the team playing a five-a-side game, just a friendly practice, but with Lucy and Millie playing it was never going to be anything like a friendly match. You were usually a semi-aggressive player, sliding in for tackles when you felt the match wasn’t going your way, but nothing in comparison to the other two. You were upfront, Millie Bright marking you as if you had hurt her in a previous life.

You two never really got along anyway, you both rubbed each other up the wrong way and you’d barely spent any time with her in comparison to the rest of the girls. You played for opposing teams and even fans had started to realise the tension between you two. One of you always seemed to end up on the floor when you played against each other, and Millie’s shirt was never the one covered in grass stains. She was relentless against you and by the time you’d finished the full 90 minutes you always looked like you’d been through the wars.

The ball falls to your feet for the third time in the last 15 minutes, you try desperately to dribble it around Millie but she was so much stronger and more athletic than you so you could barely more a few steps without it leaving your possession. You knew you were a good player, but she made you doubt yourself and that’s where you presumed the frustration originated. What made it worse was her smug looking smirk that she wore as she passed the ball up the pitch, turning back around and catching your eyeline. You hear Lucy shouting at you, her hard work getting it away from your goal ruined again as you just couldn’t get it by the force of Millie Bright.

The ball gets kicked out and you’re practising your teams corner kicks now, working on your positioning in the box, waiting for Greenwood to release the ball. You’re slightly leant over, trying to take up as much of the offensive line as you could. A strong hand fell against your back, the finger span reaching almost over half of your waist. You knew it was Millie even without looking. You pushed back into her, a groan leaving your lips as she holds her ground, and you swear you could hear a laugh as she can see you get more and more wound up by her behaviour.

Greenwood finally whips the ball in your direction, you go to jump for it but as your feet leave the ground, Millie shoves into you with her shoulder making you lose your balance in the air and you slam against the floor, knocking all the air out of your lungs as you grasp your ankle in pain. Millie offers you a hand, but you’d reached your limit of Bright today, batting her hand away and jumping up in response. You feel your anger bubble out of you, bravely getting in her face and shoving her hard. She looks taken aback by you as she stumbles backwards but it was no way strong enough to actually push her over, you don’t think you’d ever seen anyone successfully shove her to the floor.

“What the fuck was that?” Millie growled; you could hear the anger in her voice as she gets equally up in your face. However, she towers over you, she had a good extra 6 inches of height against you but you don’t see yourself backing down.

“What was what? I’m just throwing my weight around like you have to me this entire fucking game.” The anger was rising uncontrollably now, both of you in a stand-off against each other, both of your cheeks glowing red.

“God, Don’t be so fucking precious.” There was a suspicious smirk plastered across her face as her dark glaze caught you off guard. You were convinced you hated her, but now you weren’t so sure as you felt a gulp choke you in the back of your throat at her words.

“Oh fuck off Millie you’re doing my fucking head in.” The words left your mouth, and it was too late to take it back. By this point the rest of the team had noticed what was going on, all of them just watching as you stood in each other’s faces. It all got too much in your head and you started to walk away from her, but you were stopped by a strong grip on your arm spinning you straight back into it.

“No what is your fucking problem?” She demanded an answer, giving you a quick effortless shove and you could feel your body begin to burn as you stumble backwards, the combination of absolute rage but now also the confused arousal at her physical dominance over you. Your fists clenched and before you knew it, you’d been grabbed by someone, guiding you away for the situation, gripping hold of your shoulders. You could barely think straight, completely embarrassed of the altercation that you’d started, but she just made you so angry you couldn’t help it.

Lucy continued to guide you off the pitch, throwing her hand up to Sarina who just looked sick and tired of the team drama that always unfolded at training camp. As soon as you reached the tunnel you felt your anger build and build again.

“What on earth do you think you were doing, why start something with Bright when you’re that short.” Lucy joked, but also wanting you to answer her question. She was easily your favourite person in the group, despite you and her being the youngest and oldest in the starting XI.

“She just winds me up Luce, that fucking smugness on the pitch it’s so exhausting playing against her.” You admit, stopping in the middle of the tunnel as you knew Lucy had to make it back to training while you calmed down.

“I bet it winds you up, what all that dominance.”

“Not like that, fucking hell get your mind out of the gutter Bronzey.” You were even beginning to get agitated with her now. She shrugs in response to you, knowing in her head that she was right, but she didn’t want to be on the wrong side of you either.

“All I’m gonna say is you wanna sort this out.” She advised truthfully, “The one person you don’t want to start a physical rivalry with is Millie Bright, especially when she is twice the fucking size of you shorty.” With that she patted your back and ran back onto the pitch. You were seeing red at this point, storming off and finding your way back to your room to sort the mess in your head out once and for all.

-

You were sat in your room about an hour later and your brain hadn’t stopped spinning since you were dragged off the pitch. You never shared a room at camp, thanking yourself as you laid back on the bed, finally feeling some level of calm. Still, you kept switching your phone on and off, flicking onto millies contact number before talking yourself out of it. You don’t know why you felt the need to apologise, but something Lucy had said had found its way deep into your brain and you couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt. Yet as soon as the guilt washed over, you were back to being reminded how she had done everything she could to push you over the edge and the frustration bubbled back up.

You didn’t remember when you’d typed her username into Instagram, but you’d found yourself shamelessly stalking the older woman. You were observing her form, her muscular frame and the tattoo sleeve that covered up her biceps. You continued scrolling and you came across a certain picture of her in a white polo, the angle of the photo from below and it sent you into overdrive. Your mouth was ajar, and you finally let the feelings of arousal pool between your legs, your thighs subconsciously squeezing together.

You were barely in control of yourself as you reached your hand into your joggers, lifting up the waistband but before you could even do anything there was a knock at your door and you jumped out of your skin, removing your hand quickly and getting up.

You rearranged your hair, unlocking the latch and opening up the door. You were greeted with Millie, still in her kit, her Captain’s armband clasping around her muscular arms, her hair up in her signature bun, hair spilling out over the sides. She was still sweating, and you presumed she’d come straight from training.

“Millie what are you doing here?” You ask, your eyes rolling, and she was already scoffing at your reaction.

“I need an answer to my question, what’s your fucking problem with me?” She stepped into your room, and you felt your back hit the wall as she towered over you. That same Millie smirk was glaring right through you.

“Oh, shut up Bright, how can you be bothered to come here to start this again.” There was a deep annoyance to your tone. You were embarrassed that you’d let yourself believe she was turning you on, you nearly touched yourself thinking about her and now you were just writhing in anger all over again.

“I want to know what I’ve done that’s wound your pretty little head up so much.” Your breath hitched at her words, and she could see how much she was messing with your emotions. You ignored your arousal at her interruption, beginning to get angry as you felt her dominance intimidating you.

“What? So, you can keep doing it?” You couldn’t help but gaze down her frame, her wide stance doubling over you.

“God do you really think that bad of me?” You felt as though she was mocking you, you couldn’t tell, Millie was so difficult to read. You couldn’t tell what her intentions even were for barging into your room like this. Her words were having a huge effect on you, but you couldn’t tell whether this was what she wanted, turning you into a desperate mess.

“You know what Millie, yes, I do, you fucking strut around on the pitch throwing your weight around. You’ve barely said anything to me since I joined, and I’m convinced that this nice girl persona is all just a-” She forces her lips against yours and you swear you could see stars as she steps into your space, backing you fully against the wall, her hand cradling your back.

You couldn’t quite believe what was happening, but you kissed her back, fighting for dominance against her mouth but losing it quickly. She was never going to give into you, she had her own plan for the evening, and it didn’t involve fighting you for control.

She pulls back, smiling at your flushed red cheeks. Her fingers tuck the strand of hair behind your ear, dragging the tips down your neck, nails grazing against your skin.

“Well, I’ve worked out how to get you to shut up now haven’t I” She grimaced down at you, her dominance announced itself to the entire room. You could barely string a sentence together, your emotions running through your head, too many to keep track.

“Millie, I- “

“I think that’s what’s been going on hm?” She finished her sentence hovering over your neck, latching onto your skin and making her mark against you.

“What?” You ask innocently, your head hitting against the wall as you felt her teeth dig into your neck, a small moan exiting your lips and her grip against your back tightened.

“You need me to fuck all this stupid talk out of you.” Her words came naturally to her, and you couldn’t even bare to admit to yourself how wet it was making you. The only thing you can do is nod at her comment, reaching for the back of her neck and pulling her close to you again. You needed her lips against yours, the burning heat between you growing as she slid her tongue against your lips pleading for entrance into your mouth.

You allowed it, her tongue swiping against yours. She gripped your thighs, making sure to squeeze your ass before lifting you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around her waist. This was effortless for her, slamming your back against the wall again making you gasp into her mouth. She used this moment to take your bottom lip between her teeth, pulling it back before letting it go again, inciting a string of breathy moans of excitement as she held you tightly.

She moved you from the wall, not once breaking your forceful, desperate kisses. You felt her grip let you go, and you fell against the bed right next to your unlocked phone that was still on Millie’s Instagram. She smirked as she looked at you unaware that she had already seen what you were looking at before she arrived.

“What’s this babe?” She questioned with fake curiosity; she knew exactly what you were doing with the picture that it was frozen on. She picked up your phone, kneeling next to your horizontal body, waving the screen in front of your face. Your face must have been a deep red colour, the blood rushing to your head and you didn’t even know what you could say to hide what you’d really thought about doing when you saw that picture. “Tell me what you were doing with this picture of me.”

“Nothing, I was just looking.” She didn’t believe you, the shaky delivery of your lie not helping disguise your shame. Millie runs her fingers over your shirt until she reaches your nipple, rolling it between her fingers and thumb, pinching lightly through your shirt.

“Tell me the truth or you’re going to regret it.” Her words were serious, but you were lost in the way your shirt was being shifted up your body, your bare breasts reacting to the cool breeze that was drafting through the room. She swaps her hand for her mouth, flicking her tongue harshly against the hardening nub.

“I wasn’t doing anything I swear.” You lied again but you couldn’t stop the aching arousal that was growing inside of you as she moved to focus on your left nipple, taking it completely into her mouth. A little sweet moan slipped from you lips as she starts sucking and licking it in a strong, relentless rhythm. Her strokes worked harder, her tongue now lashing across your sensitive nipple, her nails digging into the sides of the other.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, not when I have you moaning like this already.” With no warning, she bit her teeth down hard against your left nipple, you yelped in pain, and you knew she wasn’t going to stop until you admitted what you’d done.

“Fuck Millie fine I was going to touch myself while looking at you.” The words fell desperately from your lips, and she soothed your sensitive chest by flattening her tongue over your nipple, her saliva cooling the searing pain she’d caused a few seconds ago.

“That’s better babe, you’re learning already.” Her words were making you weak as she reaches her arm underneath your back, cradling you in her arms as she toyed with you, teasing you, working you up until you were trembling. She was placing kisses up your chest, only touching you with her fingertip, her nails leaving a tingle wherever she touches. These gentle touches just letting you know that what you had admitted was turning her on.

“Millie please just do something.” You whimper in suspense, looking up at the blonde who was domineeringly leaning over your body, her hands roaming every part of you. She untied your jogger strings, slipping them down off your legs and you watch as her cheeks flush red at the sight of your black lace lingerie.

“Mm, these are pretty baby girl, did you put these on for me?” Her tone was getting harsher, her grip on your skin getting rougher and you could feel her lust behind her fingertips. You nod and she smiles against your thigh, her hands could fit around the width of your leg and there was something incredibly seductive about the way she was spreading them open, licking her lips in anticipation. “Let’s get these off now though.” By the time her sentence was finished she had your underwear halfway off you, her movements becoming rushed and desperate herself, but she could hold herself together and she was planning on doing so.

You feel the cold air of the room hit your bare skin, the warmth of her hands not going to where you needed her the most and she knew it. She could see the desperation behind your eyes, but she wasn’t going to just give it to you. Millie had you completely naked and you suddenly became aware of her being fully dressed, now kneeling in-between your legs. You had been so distracted by her touches and teasing that this was the first time you were really watching her. The way her blonde hair was messily sat on top of her head, her captain’s armband still gripping her muscles. You were desperate to see what was underneath, but there was something so alluring about her fucking you in that kit.

She grips your head, pulling you in to an upright position, kissing your forcefully as you are readjusted to fit where she wanted you to be. “You are so fucking gorgeous, look at the way your nipples are just permanently hard when you look at me.” She teases, pinching the left with force and making you moan into her mouth. “I want you to watch yourself.”

You felt your breath leave your lungs at her words, she moved out from between your legs, fingers under your chin as she moved your gaze to the mirror that was on the wall opposite the bed. You had a perfect view of yourself, sat legs spread, dark marks all the way up your body. You watch as Millie moves to sit behind you, letting you fall back into her arms. “You are going to watch as I touch you.” It was an order and you felt yourself get all shy, hiding your face in her arm as you twist and squirm, your face bright red with embarrassment.

“I said watch. I mean it baby don’t make me angry again.” Her voice was harsh, the combination of praise and dominance doubling the arousal between your legs. Her captaincy coming out of her as she forces you back into position. She hooks her legs over yours, forcing your legs to stay wide open. You catch your own gaze back at you, watching as Millie’s hands roamed your chest again, pinching at your nipples and watching you in the mirror as your head flung back and you gasped against her neck.

Your legs were spread wide open and every time you looked forward you could see her eyes burning on you, watching as she brought her hand down to your inner thigh, tracing small circles and itching up higher and higher until she was so damn close but still not giving into you. You were entranced by the scene unfolding in front of your eyes, her tongue was on her own lips again and it was a look that you couldn’t ever recover from.

“Please Millie, I need you, I just want you to fuck me.” The urgency was clear from your voice, but she just laughs at your desperation, continuing her small circles around your thighs. “Millie please.”

She pulls your hair back hard and the gasp that came from your lips was completely involuntary. “Stop being a fucking whore, you will get what I give you.” She spat, her voice turning to a growl as she lets your hair go, her hand cupping your heat, not giving you any pressure, and not letting you grind yourself against her. “Talking of whores, you’ve made a fucking mess of yourself, haven’t you?” Her grin was so intimidating as she felt your wetness against her hand, you were a whining mess against her palm, and she was loving it.

“Millie-” You were cut off again, the same hand moving up to cover your mouth and you groan against it, hips thrusting against nothing but the air in the room, desperate for some sort of contact.

“You’re pushing your luck sweetheart.” Millie whispers, her other hand moving around your throat, cutting off your oxygen completely. She had a tight grip around your marked neck as you twist in attempt to remove yourself from her hold. You give in and she lets go of you, trailing her hands back down your body as you catch your breath. You watch everything she does to you, observing the smirk that she made in reaction to your noises when she got closer to where you needed her before moving them back up your body. She was driving you crazy on purpose, punishing you for making her so angry a few hours earlier.

“Would you like me to touch you baby?” You nod, not speaking or begging, doing everything she asked of you. The power she held over you as she had you vulnerable and trembling between her legs. “There’s a good girl.” She praises and you watch as her hand found its way back down to your aching pussy, dragging her finger through your folds, swiping gently through the wetness that she found between your legs. She brings her hand up to her mouth, making direct eye contact with your reflection as she tastes you. You moan just from watching her and your hips buck upwards involuntarily just trying to contact something as she wound you into a frustrated arousal.

She teases your entrance, pushing just the tip of her finger inside of you and you feel your head fall back to rest on her shoulder. The pleasure making it difficult for you to keep your head held. “No baby, watch as I enter you.” You do as she says, knowing you wouldn’t get what you wanted without it. Your lips pressed together as you watch her finger move fully inside of you, pumping her arm, her muscles flexing as she starts to thrust her wrist.

“Fuck Millie, I need more, please.” You beg accidentally, but she turns a blind eye, giving you what you want. She adds a second finger and your eyes slam shut, focusing on the feeling of Millies fingers curling upwards and hitting your spot every time she entered you. As soon as your eyes shut you felt her movements still, her fingers buried inside of you but not moving. You whine and when your eyes open and catch her gaze in the mirror she continues. You understood the rules and Millie was definitely going to stick to them.

“Good girls get what they want baby, so I suggest you keep looking at yourself while I fuck you if you want this to end nicely.” The words came out her mouth so casually, but it sounded so goddamn attractive, the eye contact in the mirror making it so much more intense as you watch your pussy stretch around her fingers.

“My clit, please touch me.” The frustration was building up and you could barely hear yourself speak, your mind foggy at the sight of Millie fingering you.

“God you’re a needy girl aren’t you.” She smirked, shifting her hand so she could rub small circles around your clit with her thumb and you gasped in pleasure as the built-up pressure inside of you was released. She was getting you closer and closer, the little groans she kept making in your ear combined with her little nips against your neck all adding to your building orgasm. “Look at yourself baby, look how hot you look taking my fingers.”

You could feel your legs beginning to shake, your moans growing louder as she applied a stronger pressure to your swollen clit, thrusting her fingers quicker. You were so close, and she stopped, removing her hand from you, letting you come all the way back down. You look at her with confusion, turning your head to look at her properly.

“That’s what you get for being so whiny baby girl.” You whine in response, fittingly of course. Squirming around, trying to shut your legs to gain some sort of contact but Millie’s legs were pinning them apart, not letting you get your own way. She started her teasing again and you thought your body was going to collapse at the lack of contact she was making with your body again.

“Millie, you’re driving me crazy, please just fuck me again, make me cum for you.” You felt pathetic and desperate, her small smile making you realise this was exactly how she wanted you to feel. The kisses on your neck changed when she sunk her teeth into your skin, making you cry out.

“Stop fucking begging.” Her sentences were getting shorter, her patience running dry with you. You wanted to rile her up to, there was a sense of curiosity about her growing anger and how her face was growing redder as you fought back against her dominance.

When her hand reached to your entrance again, you felt your bratty side begin to shine through. She pushed two fingers inside of you again and after a few thrusts you decided to wind her up even more. You were watching her in awe as she worshipped your body. “Fuck me harder, please I need you to fuck me properly.”

That was the last thing you remembered saying, your bratty side being broken down as she pushed you down onto the bed, switching her position so she was straddled on top of you, your arms pinned down next to your head. “You’re feeling brave hm?” She asked, you felt way more intimidated as you were forced to look at her face rather than the reflection of her behind you. You nodded your head, using up the last ounce of your bratty side. She grabs your chin, forcing your head up as she leans over making sure the only thing you could see was her face.

“You wanna be fucked like my little slut?” She growled, you nod, and she wasn’t having your silent responses anymore. She chokes you, harder than before, your head going fuzzy for a second. “You better fucking answer me, or I’ll leave you here, pathetically trembling for me.”

“Yes Millie, fuck me please.” This was all you could come up with in the heat of the moment and when she laughed at your response you knew you weren’t getting away so easily.

“Tell me what you are then.” Her patronising tone and strong grip around your throat making you squirm but her legs straddled your stomach, keeping you pinned down against the mattress.

“Your little slut.” You whisper, your voice being taken away with how nervous you were in her presence. Seeing Millie so in charge of you was a normal occurrence on the pitch, but your pleasure being in her hands was something that made you so vulnerable but so desperate for her.

“And trust me, you’ll know it.” She kisses you with such force you could barely think straight, her hand still remaining around your throat, her teeth biting down on your lip, everything about this was rough and dirty. She continues to mark your neck and you were moaning in desperation, every bite she made you knew would leave a souvenir of this night, being able to see every mark that she makes on you. You felt your core ache and each mark she made down your neck and on your chest was making you whine, and you could feel each time you pushed her buttons as her teeth sunk in harder, sucking your skin with the intention of making you feel it for hours afterwards.

“You need to stop fucking whining.” Millie sits up, her fully dressed form starting to drive you mental with curiosity of wanting to see what her clothes was underneath. She reached for her Captains armband, sliding it quickly off her arm and shoving it into your mouth. “That should keep you quiet for me.”

You couldn’t believe the position you were in, underneath your captain with her armband gagging you, stopping you from moaning when she touches you. She places your hands above your head, her eyebrow raises telling you to keep them there. Millie pulls her t-shirt off, your eyes widening at the sight of what you’d imagined a few seconds ago, her toned stomach glistening in the hotel room light. “I want you over my lap.”

You moaned into the armband, the thought of being leant over her lap making you shake with anticipation. Before you could react, she was sat on the edge of the bed, her hand in your hair pulling you onto all fours, your stomach falling flush against her closed thighs.

Without a warning you felt two fingers being pushed into you, a quick relentless pace not allowing you to get used to the stretch needed to fit around her. You were moaning unashamedly against your gag, gasping as her flat handed palm hit your ass with a sting. She kept this going until you were a trembling mess over her lap. Each spank was met with her fingers curling harshly against your g-spot, her own groans making you dizzy as she worked hard to roughly thrust her fingers in and out of your cunt. “If only everyone could see you now.” She hummed, your pants getting more laboured as you felt your orgasm building in your stomach. “Bent over my lap with my armband stopping those pathetic little noises that you’re making for me.”

You felt yourself getting closer and when her arm snaked around your body to find your throbbing clit, she barely drew three circles against it and you were crying out against the armband every time you felt her fingers slam against your sweet spot. Your thighs were shaking, and your nails were gripping into her thighs as you felt your inevitable orgasm building. With one more spank you feel your core collapse with blinding pleasure and your orgasm burns through your body, your hips jolting uncontrollably as she fucks you through it.

You were so sensitive, but Millie was still thrusting her fingers into you, adding a third finger and your muffled moans spurring her to continue fucking you, her pace getting quicker as your thighs never stopped shaking. She was not in the mood to let you have any say in how she was taking you, the addition of her third finger stretching you out more than before. Her endless circles against your clit were getting stronger as you desperately winced through the overstimulation. “Come on, give me another, I know you can do it for me.” The mix of praise as you were degraded over her lap did it for you, the last orgasm still fluttering through you as the next one came out of nowhere.

Her harsh thrusts and small circles sent you into a state of shock, this orgasm lasting twice as long as the last and your hips now pushing back against Millies fingers. “Oh baby,” She sighed, removing her fingers, your body rigid over her lap. She tugs on your hair again, forcing you up onto your knees, your legs barely able to hold your own weight up. “Look at the mess you’ve made.” She said, gesturing towards her hand dripping in your arousal. You watch as she takes a finger and places it against her tongue, sucking up every last drop. Her eyes were dark with lust as her eyes trailed down your naked body that was kneeling to the side of her, the florescent green armband the only item of clothing in sight between your teeth.

“I think this will shut you up on the pitch now hm?” She questioned, squeezing your cheeks, and taking the armband out of your mouth, the drenched fabric being thrown to the side. “Each time you see me wearing this you’ll be imagining yourself bent over my lap.” With the gag out of your mouth, your groans and gasps sounded more intense than before, and you could see the lust behind Millies eyes. With your noises now at full strength, each moan was creating a pool between her own thighs, but she was too focused on you to even notice it.  

“Come lie right here, legs spread.” She demanded, pointing to her face as she lied back on the bed. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion; you thought you were done. The throbbing sensitivity between your legs signalling that you couldn’t take any more and while the thought of riding Millie’s face was driving you crazy you didn’t think you had it in you to go again. “What’s wrong? You wanted to be fucked like my little slut so you’re going to do as you’re told and come and straddle my face. Now.”

Within seconds you found your knees spread, planted on the mattress, one on either side of her face. Her hands were holding your waist tightly, her strength keeping you stuck in place, disallowing your hips from grinding against her tongue. You were moaning into the mattress as her tongue explored your folds, swirling it around your oversensitive clit. Each time you felt the push of her tongue against your bundle of nerves you were met with a pleasurable shock that was sent right through your body. Her hands were gripping the back of your thighs before her fingers crawled towards your well fucked pussy, deciding she wasn’t finished with you just yet.

With the immediate push of three fingers into your entrance you moaned loudly, you felt your hips being lifted, allowing her to speak against your pussy. “That’s its baby, moan for me, make those pretty noises now you can. This is the only way I want to hear my name on your lips.” You gasp as her tongue instantly reconnects with your clit, swirling those same excruciating circles that were drawing your third orgasm closer.

You couldn’t control the sinful noises that were escaping your open mouth. You were being railed over Millie’s face and her thrusts were still getting stronger. Her stamina was unsurprisingly relentless, her muscular build finally being of somewhat use to you.

“Fuck Mils I’m so close.” You pant, moans interrupting your words, with her movements speeding up a fraction you took this as permission, but you couldn’t stop it either way. The orgasm that came made your knees buckle, your body unable to hold itself over Millies’s mouth, your thighs squeezing her head into place against your clit. Her tongue flicked back and forth over your nub as you rode out your orgasm, her hands no longer keeping your hips in place as you grind against her mouth. Her name, as predicted, was tumbling out of your mouth as the overwhelming waves of your prolonged orgasm continued to ripple through you. You could feel her moans vibrating through your body as you rode it out, this one was mind-blowing and your brain felt frozen in this moment for way longer than the last, which you didn’t believe was possible.

Millie was still smiling when you finally gained the strength to remove yourself from her face, you were aided by Millie’s grip that was helping you move your body down to match how she was laying. You were snuggled in her arms now and this felt strangely right as your head was hidden in the crease of her neck.

“I think you’ve learned your lesson now.” She grinned, her fingers running through your sweat drenched hair.

“If anything, I’ll be shoving you more.” This gained you a swift slap to your ass and you wince immediately, your skin still sensitive from when she had you bent over her lap. This gave you the confidence you needed, you were desperate to touch her and you had been since she kissed you in the doorway. You reached your hand down the waistband of her shorts that she was still wearing, and Millie looked at you with surprise.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She protested with her tone of voice but the way her hips rose to meet your hand was anything but resistance. It was your turn to smirk now as it seemed that Millie seemingly didn’t know you well enough to know that you’d want so desperately to return the favour.

“I want to show you that your little slut can do more than making pretty noises.”  

(hope everyone is ready for a part 2)

[xzaddyzanakinx]

I Crybaby I part three

Mean Punk/Grunge Anakin × Naive Femme Reader

18+ MDNI

Warnings: demeaning comments, crude behavior, aggression toward reader, hurt/comfort

Info: Anakin is an ass, like no joke he's really mean. Pierced and tatted Ani, he plays the drums, annoying rude neighbor, modern AU (90's), he might be mean now but I promise he is changing

Smut is coming soon! Be on the look out for the next chapter.

NOT PROOFREAD

You woke up in a panic, sulked on your drive to work, suffered through the day at the diner, and drove home with an anxiously churning stomach.

You paced the floors of your living room and kitchen, you’d already called Marie three times and had stopped yourself from sprinting to the wall phone once again. She offered to come help, but you’d refused, saying she’d already done so much for you. Besides this was something you felt like you had to do on your own, Anakin was nosy, he’d definitely take notice of a stranger visiting your house.

He had already tried to rip your shopping bag of makeup from your hands, insisting he needed to see inside. Stating that he was better at it than you anyway, you could benefit from a lesson or two. At this point you would’ve considered taking him up on the offer if you knew it wouldn’t ruin your plan.

You’d never so much as owned black eyeshadow, and Anakin did wear it often. You closed your eyes and tried to picture the way it looked in your head, then thought better of it. That would be creepy right? Copying his look?

So instead you settled on clumsily going through the motions of your transformation with the company of girls from Marie’s magazines. You’d ripped them out and hastily stuck them to your bathroom mirror with gum.

You braided your hair and looped some silver hoops in it just like one of the girls who was modeling a very painful looking choker necklace. The girls were all wearing heavy makeup, and your attempts had all turned out miserably, so you went back to the magazines and flipped through until you found the perfect reference.

A skinny boy in a fishnet shirt had on subtle and simple looking makeup, you could handle that, it should be easy… right? Digging through your grocery bag of new eyeshadows you selected a black eyeshadow palette that had a gorgeous little square of greyish sparkles.

You tried over and over again until your eyelids felt raw, with a frustrated cry you slammed the palette down onto the counter, effectively cracking the clear plastic lid.

“Great!” You huffed, “just great.” You began scraping up the fallen black powder with your bare hands, being interrupted by the phone ringing.

You screeched in surprise, the abrasive and shrill noise always startled you. The floor was slick under your fuzzy pink socks as you rushed to the kitchen wall phone. You sniffled, tears of frustration forming as you slipped and almost fell, swiping at them without thinking.

“Hello?” You croaked.

“What’re you doing?” The voice on the other line laughed.

“Anakin?” You questioned in surprise.

“Obviously.” He huffed, you could visualize his eyes rolling in annoyance. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Why do you want to know?” You shot back.

“Your bathroom window is wide open and you’ve been banging around in there for the last hour.” He grumbled.

“I’ll close it.” You huffed.

“What’re you doing?” He asked again.

“Nothing!” You said loudly, “it’s not your business.”

“Well sorry for trying to make sure you weren’t being murdered.” He retorted, starting to speak again.

“Listen. I’m busy. I’ll close the window.” You started to hang up, but stopped when you heard him shouting.

“Hey! Wait a second! God, you’re impatient.” He grumbled, “I won’t be home tonight, so if you’re going on some shitty date don’t count on me to rescue you alright?”

“Got it.” You said through gritted teeth.

With that you hung up, bringing the heels of your palms to dig into your tired eyes. Was this worth it? What was that phone call? Was he looking through your window or did he somehow hear you another way? Were you just that loud?

You groaned, dragging your hands down your face before sucking in a sharp breath. The phone was covered in black power and as you looked down you realized your hands were too.

“Shit!” You spit out, stomping to the bathroom sink and staring at yourself in the mirror.

You looked a mess, your whole face streaked with eyeshadow. Angrily your wet a towel and scrubbed off the makeup from your cheeks and nose, washing you hands and then grabbing your makeup remover for a more gentle approach on your already irritated eyes.

But when you looked back at yourself, you realized it wasn’t all that bad. It actually looked kind of good? Maybe the trick was using your fingers instead of a brush, maybe just cleaning it up around the edges would fix it. You could salvage this as long as you stayed calm… probably.

First things first though you went and shut the window, closing the curtains before returning to your task.

Thirty minutes later you had penciled eyeliner and tinted lip gloss to go along with your surprisingly nice eyeshadow. You were proud, you looked good, you - felt - good.

You headed back to the kitchen, pulling out the scissors from the knife block, it was time to cut off shirt. You slipped it on over your bralette, pinching the fabric at the spot you wanted to cut along the midriff. Snipping a tiny hole there before moving to your shoulders and repeating the process.

Once the snips were put in place you lifted the shirt up and over your head again, cutting off the places you’d marked. The sleeves were gone, along with a good portion of the fabric that would normally hug your sides, the bralette peaking out from under the shirt. The new hem hit just above your belly button, the breeze from the fan tickling your skin.

You slipped on the ripped baggy jeans complete with your homemade rips and tears before allowing yourself to slump to the floor. You had about a hour to kill, you didn’t want to be extremely late and you didn’t want to be early so you planned to arrive about fifteen minutes after start time. You wanted to be able to sneak in and find a spot among the crowd until you were comfortable enough to make your way to the front.

You heard the pop and crack of Anakin’s car starting and the tell-tale sign of him leaving could be heard as he screeched out of his driveway. Another glance at the clock showed only 5 minutes had passed. You couldn’t just idly sit there, it was excruciating to wait for something you were so anxious for.

You stood up, deciding to stop at the gas station up the road and grabbed a bottle of Pepsi before heading off to your destination. That would kill some time, the old man behind the register always talked to much, you needed gas anyway. Smiling at your new plan you rushed to grab your keys and small wallet.

You pulled in at the warehouse and saw it was absolutely packed with cars, people milling about, smoking, music playing through speakers from a CD you didn’t recognize. You jogged inside, taking in the scene. It was incredible. The people were all so different, it was interesting to see so many kinds of people all mixed together in one place, interacting as if they all knew each other.

You weaved your way in a dense spot at the tail end of crowd just as Anakin and his band walked on the makeshift stage.

You could feel your heart race as you caught sight of Anakin, his usually gelled hair was shaggy and moving with attitude as he stepped onto the stage with his bandmates. The crowd erupted with cheers, as the front man introduced them all, the excitement and anticipation from the crowd palpable in the air.

He took his seat at his drum kit, his tongue poking out in concentration while twirling his drum sticks. It shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was, it wasn’t your fault that he exuded a magnetism that was hard to ignore.

The band began to play, a heavy wave of guitar and pounding drums filling the warehouse. The low growl of the lead singer was much more intense in person than what you had heard on CD’s.

You found yourself struck with awe, your eyes locked on Anakin. The way he thrashed about, fully immersed in the music, was both powerful and mesmerizing. It was as if he had tapped into something primal, expressing his raw emotions through each beat of the drum. It was something you’d never seen from him before, he was so focused, so in his element.

In your stupor you failed to see a younger man stumble your way after shoulder checking another person. He fell into you and immediately apologized, laughing at himself. He quickly realized you weren’t laughing along with him, in fact you looked quite miffed.

"Hey! First time?" He asked and you nodded quickly with eyes wide, he laughed and pulled you into a nearby group of people. They showed you what to do, shared the unspoken rules of events such as this and it was exhilarating.

You’d never have imagined yourself enjoying something as chaotic as this, but here you were, soaking it all in with enthusiasm. Laughter and excitement filled the space as they showed you the ropes, guiding you through the chaos of the wall to wall mosh pit. It was an exhilarating experience, completely freeing and liberating. You laughed and let go, surrendering to the atmosphere that surrounded you.

As the music reverberated through the warehouse, the room alive with pulsating energy. Each beat of Anakin's drumsticks echoed in perfect synchrony with the crowd's wild enthusiasm. You couldn't tear your eyes away as he effortlessly commanded the drums, his body moving wildly with the rhythm.

After bidding farewell to your newfound friends, you found yourself gradually making your way to the front, eager to witness Anakin's performance up close. The sight of him sent bolts of anticipation shooting through your veins. You smiled widely, unable to contain the surging energy bubbling within your chest.

The song reached its crescendo, the crowd roared their approval, their cheers crashing against the walls. Anakin's drumming intensified, his body drenched in sweat, his passion tangible in every stroke. It was a breathtaking sight, even more so when you realized he was playing some parts with his eyes closed. Facial muscles twitching occasionally with the effort of keeping himself on track.

They wasted no time in jumping into another song, and another, and another. It was bewildering to see how much effort it took to play with such intensity up close. How could they all keep up? How could Anakin not be exhausted already? He was throwing his entire being into beating those drums and making it look completely effortless despite the sweat dripping from his forehead.

The show had ended but the people hadn’t dispersed as much as you would’ve liked. You maneuvered through the crowd, heart sinking at the sight of Anakin surrounded by a group of girls vying for his attention. His eyes met yours, and you felt hopeful for just a moment, before reality crashed down on you as he turned away. Jealousy twisted in your gut, and you found yourself hesitating, unsure of what to do next. Should you wait and try to speak to him, or should you walk away, heart heavy with disappointment?

Feeling a mix of frustration and defeat, you took a step back, hiding in the shadows of taller people, observing from a safe distance. Anakin seemed disinterested in the attention, his eyes scanning the crowd as if searching for something--or someone.

But the sight of those girls clinging to him, vying for a moment of his time, stirred a sense of unease within you.

As you weighed your options, a new wave of frustration washed over you. You couldn't bear to watch any longer, feeling the sting of jealousy and insecurity gnawing at your confidence. With a pout, you turned on your heel and walked away, deciding that it was probably better to leave and nurse your wounded pride in solitude.

The journey back to the car felt heavy, each step punctuated by the weight of disappointment that pressed against your chest. It was only when you felt the cool metal of the car door beneath your clammy fingertips that you finally allowed the emotions to consume you.

Tears welled up in your eyes, their droplets tracing a path down your reddened cheeks as you crumpled into an emotional wreck. Sobs wracked your body, unleashing pent-up frustrations mingling with the raw ache of rejection. It was an agonizing release, the culmination of disappointment and longing that had been building within you. In that moment of vulnerability, you allowed yourself to grieve the connection you so desperately wanted but felt slipping through your fingers.

As time ticked by, the tears slowly subsided, leaving behind a sense of exhaustion and resignation. You wiped your cheeks, the dampness lingering as a reminder of your emotional unraveling. With a heavy sigh, you started the engine and prepared to drive away. Wanting nothing more than to escape the ache that lingered in the air.

By the time you shifted into drive there were even more people leaving the venue, the parking lot getting empty. You sighed, pulling out of the parking lot and speeding home.

"Great." You rolled your eyes and sniffled, Anakin had beat you home, he was standing on his front porch smoking a cigarette, shirtless.

His shirtless form glistened under the porch light, his sweaty t-shirt hanging haphazardly over the railing. You couldn't help but feel vulnerable in his presence. You sniffled, still fighting back the remnants of tears, as you stepped out of the car and closed the door with a soft thud.

"Bad date?" Anakin shouted, snickering.

"Guess you could say that." Under the cover of darkness he couldn't see your clothes and for that you were thankful.

You knew you would have to walk quickly so you could get into the house before he saw your clothes under the porch light. So you ran up your driveway and jogged up your steps.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He barked out laughing.

He couldn't see the full outfit from this angle, just the tattered t-shirt.

"Stop it." You shouted, trying not to cry again as you fumbled with the keys.

His laugh filled the air as he witnessed you clumsily struggling in your disheveled state, the pain in his eyes masked by his laughter tinged with a touch of cruelty. Your heart sank further, emotions teetering on the edge of overwhelming you once more.

"Does baby need a hug?" He asked teasingly, hopping down from the second to last step of his porch and making his way to you.

"Stop it Anakin," You pleaded, desperation lacing your words as you dropped the keys.

You groaned, scooping them up hurriedly, desperate to get inside. But it was too late. Anakin was walking up the steps, taking in every detail of your very out of character clothes.

"What the fuck is this?” He asked pointing at the clothes with a confused expression.

"Stop. You're just gonna be mean." You said back.

Anakin's features softened, an uncharacteristic flicker of concern crossing his face. His fingers twitched as if resisting the urge to reach out and offer comfort.

You took a step back, heart pounding in your chest. You’d had seen the glimpses of his softer side, his capacity for care buried beneath layers of cynicism. But in that moment, you couldn't allow yourself to hope. His previous toxic behaviors and hurtful words echoed in your mind, urging you to protect yourself.

"Where were you?" Anakin's gaze remained fixed on you, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Where were you?" You shot back hoping that the venom in your voice would convey your disappointment.

He didn't recognize you at his gig. After you tried so hard to impress him, now he was here making fun of you for dressing this way.

You could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to piece together the puzzle before him. But when his silence stretched on, your frustration grew.

"Where were you?" You asked again sharply.

You wanted him to feel the sting of disappointment, to understand the effort you had put into the night, only to be met with ridicule. You had hoped to impress him at his gig, to have him notice you, and now he stood before you mocking the very choices you had made to catch his eye.

Anakin's brows furrowed even deeper, a hint of remorse flickering across his features. He was adept at hiding his emotions, but in that moment, you saw a glimpse of regret in his eyes.

"You were at the gig, weren't you?" His tone had lost its earlier teasing edge, replaced instead by a heavy mix of confusion and realization.

A wave of emotions washed over you-disappointment, hurt, and even a tinge of anger. You had gone out of your way to support him, to be present in a world that wasn't yours, just for him. And in return, he didn’t even recognize you.

"It's doesn't matter if I was does it?" You asked, wiping your eyes.

He leaned in closer, the subtle scent of his Marlboro cigarettes mingling with the hint of his cologne and sweat. His voice, now gentle and sincere, reached your ears like a soothing melody.

"No, it does matter," he replied, his voice laced with regret.

"It's okay. I get it, I know what you're gonna say. I look dumb, I look like I'm trying to hard, I shouldn’t have even come to your show.” You sniffled, tugging at your shirt that now felt so uncomfortable.

Anakin's face fell as he listened to your words, sensing the insecurity and self-doubt that had clouded your thoughts.

"You don't look dumb. I didn't mean to make you feel that way." He ran his hands through hair, his tongue playing with his lip piercings.

“You don’t even look like yourself babydoll.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he sounded upset.

"But-" You had finally stopped crying and then your voice broke once again. "I thought you'd like it if I dressed like I belonged there."

He let out a low sigh, his fingers absently playing with the chain on his pants as he searched for the right words.

"I get why you did it, darlin'," he said, his voice gentle yet tinged with self-reproach. "You wanted to fit in. But listen, you don't have to change who you are for anyone, especially not me."

He stepped towards you, still not looking up.

"Its not that you don't look good, you do, you always do. But I know it's not you. You only wore that because of me. I don't want that, YOU don’t want that.” He sighed and finally looked into your eyes.

"I was looking for my pretty princess in a pink dress." He whispered, his hand coming up to your cheek.

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[kitthepurplepotato]

Second season of My weird roommate, Midoriya Izuku!

Chapter 1 - Slow and Steady

Summary: … Maybe giving Y/N a tour around the agency right after getting together wasn’t the brightest idea. It’s still fun, though, but cuddling on the sofa would be better. (Izuku’s words, not mine.)

Y/N learns that Izuku is a big fan of PDA. Maybe it would have been a better idea to talk about their relationship before getting outed in front of the whole office in the first five minutes. Not like any of them cares, really.

Part 1 of the Agency Tour!

Warnings: Suggestive, swear words, tooth-rotting fluff

FIRST CHAPTER MASTER LIST

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Let’s go through the happenings of the last 24 hours together.

But before that…

Let’s close the door after ourselves.

Take a deep breath.

Now scream.

“Oh my fucking god, what’s happening right now?!”

Yes. Perfect.

Now you can grin like a lunatic for the next ten minutes while you get yourself together.

You and pro hero Deku… are a thing now. For real. Okay, you haven’t technically had the ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’ talk yet, but let’s be honest, none of you want less than that, that’s quite clear.

You are also extremely proud of yourself because finally, for once in your life, you actually took the matter into your own hands and sorted your problems out yourself instead of waiting for baby Jesus to do it for you. That’s character development, ladies and gents and everyone in between! And if that’s not enough to feel like the happiest nerd in the whole world, Izuku kissed you all night and now you are getting ready to see his agency, which was your biggest dream since Deku first showed up on the TV screen.

Actually, why the heck did you never ask him to show you around anyway?

Oh yeah, you had no balls until yesterday.

Well, technically, you still don’t have any, thank god because that would be a really messed up plot twist and this fanfiction would definitely loose 90% of its audience.

Okay, let’s calm down now and start getting ready before Izuku changes his mind about loving you after seeing how late you are for everything.

You sprint out of your bedroom after 10 minutes, panting; somehow, you managed to straighten your hair and do a light make up, which is probably thanks to the fact that you didn’t need to think about the clothes that much as Izuku let you wear the random hoodie you accidentally took out of his dresser a few minutes ago.

“Did you have a sparring session with Kacchan in that room?” Izuku looks at you fondly, tiny sparkles swimming in his beautiful, pine green eyes. Melissa is probably waiting in the car already.

“I’m way too excited.” You grin while you continue panting like a madman. Izuku snorts at that, urging you to come over; you run into his arms, embracing him tightly, tiny little butterflies fluttering their wings in your chest as he hides his face in the crook of your neck like he always does, but this time, it feels different; shiver goes down your spine as you feel his breath warming up your skin, there are goosebumps all over you as Izuku leaves a tiny kiss in the crook of your neck, mumbling vehemently about how happy he is to be able to do this now and it really takes you a lot of self-control to push the hero away gently for the sake of your own sanity.

“Are you ready to go, Sweets?” Izuku smiles and moves back into your personal space, leaving tiny kisses on your cheek while he giggles like a lovesick kid having a crush for the first time.

“Hmm… fuck yes.” You grin while you pull the hero out of the flat aggressively. As you move towards the elevator you turn around and start walking backwards, just so you can see his face, because you can’t even stand not to see him for 30 seconds.

“You’ll trip and fall.” Izuku giggles and runs towards you, pulling you up into his arms right away. He then manhandles you until you end up sitting on his shoulders. You try not to tell him how hot that was. The amount of power he has in his arms is absolutely insane and his arms aren’t even the strongest parts of his body as his main weapons are his legs. You are quite sure he could explode a watermelon with them without even flinching.

“I can break a watermelon with my thighs, yes. We tried it once when we were drunk in the forest. Iida told us we can’t use knives while we’re wasted so we had find a way to open it up.”

“How much did I say out loud?” You whimper with your eyes scrunched together. Honestly, why are you like this?

“Let’s just say I’m glad you don’t see the color of my face right now.” Izuku giggles as he steps into the elevator. When you get to his car he decides to play around for a bit; he throws you up in the air and catches you mid fall, then throws you up a few more times until you can’t help but scream, terrified. He carries you bridal style to the car and when he gets to the door he decides to flex a bit more by carrying you with one arm while he opens the door for you with his other hand.

“Was this really necessary?” You pant, still clinging to his shoulders on his left side.

“Well, you said you liked it and I love to please.” Midoriya says innocently.

Don’t say it.

Don’t say it.

Don’t…

“Honestly, you two!” Melissa giggles. “Let’s go! Also, if you don’t want everyone to know what you’ve been up to all night, I would probably tune the lovey-dovey stuff down a notch.” She winks and this time, Izuku almost drops you on the floor.

Needless to say, you are both red as a tomato as you make your way inside the car silently.

~•🥦•~

“Oh my fucking god.” You look up at the massive building in front of you. You knew that the agency is massive, but it’s honestly something else up this close. The building itself is white but on the two top corners there are three diagonal stripes in the colors of the two hero’s outfits; Katsuki’s side is orange, dark green and black, Izuku’s side is green, silver and red. In case you are still wondering which side of the agency belongs to who there are two beautiful, metallic plates with the logo of each hero on their side; the lucky people who managed to get a tour around the agency tend to use the logo as a backdrop for their Instagram photos but it’s mostly just fellow heroes who tend to use it as the agency is almost completely off the table for civilians.

“We obviously have a back entrance, but I wanted you to see the front as it’s really hard to see it from outside, thanks to the exclusive car park in front of it.” Izuku mumbles as he puts his hands on the small of your back. “May I take a picture with you in front of the sign?” Izuku says in the most flirty way possible. Damn, this guy will be the death of you.

It only takes a shy nod for him to push you towards the massive Deku logo with his phone in his hands; he gives a quick kiss on your forehead as his phone clicks and the picture is done and… well… the final result is absolutely fucking adorable. Your face is all red and shy and there is a tiny blush on Izuku’s face as well as he leans in. There is a tiny happy smile on his face and his eyes are sparkling with affection.

“If this picture gets out, you are fucked.” You giggle as you send the picture to yourself on his phone.

“Well, I’m quite sure I’m more than capable of protecting you if that ever happens.” Izuku mumbles with dark eyes. “Also, I’m not ashamed of you. I have no reason to be.”

You will never get used to the way Izuku smiles at you. You swear he’ll give you a heart attack one day. It’s also extremely hard not to kiss him when he looks at you like you are the best thing on this whole planet.

“Let’s go in before I attack you with my mouth in front of your whole agency.” You whisper under your nose with a red face. Izuku’s blush can’t get deeper at this point. He looks like a lobster and it’s adorable.

“Yeah, I would absolutely hate that.” Izuku mumbles back as he makes his way towards the entrance, clearly thinking the opposite of what he’s saying. Well, damn.

“Deku-san!” A young girl yells from the counter by the entrance but you are too busy to freak out about how absolutely badass the inside looks like; just like the outside, the inside has two different designs; behind the main counter, there is another massive logo, but this time, instead of having the two logos next to each other, it’s half Deku and half Bakugou in one single logo and it’s sick as fuck.

If that’s not enough, the massive hall is also two different colors; Dark orange walls on Dynamight’s side, with small explosions coming out of the main logo, then dark green walls on the other side with black whip coming out of the main logo, snaking around the wall like tentacles.

There are two booths in the two corners for interviews, a waiting area with massive sofas but this is as far as a person can go if they don’t work for the agency. There are two massive stairways on the left and the right side of the hall, and by the look of it, the door only opens with fingerprints.

“The glass door is actually bulletproof.” Izuku says proudly. The young girl makes a high pitched noise for some reason.

“Deku-san, please refrain from telling insider information until the lady signed the NDA.”

“I don’t think this counts as that, Kay.” Izuku smiles at her but you can see the annoyance on his pretty little face. “Also, she’s technically family for both Katsuki and me, does she really need to sign that?”

“Deku-san, I’m quite sure even your mother had to sign it.” The lady sighs.

“So what am I signing?” You look up at Izuku questioningly.

“A non-disclosure agreement. Basically, whatever I say and whatever you see here, you are not allowed to tell anyone. Not even your friends and family.” Izuku retorts with a frown on his face. Why is he so mad about this?

“Yeah, that’s fine. Don’t be so grumpy about it. It’s common sense, really.” You say softly while your hand caresses his arms soothingly. You can feel the tension leaving his body as he nods silently, a little bit ashamed of his own sassiness.

“Yeah, sorry. I just hate to do this to you.” He sighs but takes the paperwork from Kay’s hands and moves towards the sofas to sit down with you. You go through the paperwork quickly and sign it on the bottom and Izuku leads you towards the massive staircase after putting the paperwork on the counter for Kay.

Just as the glass door closes behind you and you are far away enough from the main hall to not be seen right away… Izuku decides to turn your whole world upside down by pulling you into one of the corners, your back meeting the wall with a loud thump. His hands rest on the wall, your head right between them.

You’ve never had a heart attack before but this is how you imagine it. This shit can’t be normal.

“I imagined this so many times and I hated myself every time for being so… cheeky.” Izuku mumbles, his face blushed but so-so utterly happy it breaks your heart and puts it back together, all at the same time.

“You wanted to assault someone on the staircase? That’s not too hero-like of you.” You snicker, playing dumb. Izuku’s smile fades.

“Was I too rough?” He mumbles as he tries to pull away, but you quickly change your positions; you use all your strength to push him into the wall the same way he did to you. Izuku yelps, but it sounds more like a whine to be honest and that does some things to your body. This man will be the death of you.

“Was I too rough?” You ask with your hands on his two sides; there is no way you can reach the wall next to his head when you are a size of a hobbit compared to him.

“Is it really dirty if I say that I enjoyed it?” Izuku mutters with a red face.

“Is it really dirty to say I enjoyed it too?” You giggle into his chest.

“This conversation ends here and now.” Izuku takes a few deep breaths, his fist curling into the fabric of your hoodie at the back.

“I thought you wanted to kiss me?” You smile into his shirt, full of confidence; you did this to him. You did this, and you barely had to do anything for it. Your life is a stupid fanfiction.

“I don’t think I can stop for the next two hours if I do, Sweets.” He pants. “I mean… well… you know what I mean. I think. I don’t really know what I’m talking about anymore. I really like your confidence?”

You can’t help but laugh out loudly at that. Izuku looks at you with question marks in his eyes.

“That’s a really chivalrous way to say you like to be manhandled, Izu. Also, noted.” You wink at the hero; Izuku literally gapes at you, mouth hanging dramatically as you move further and further, ready to run if it’s needed.

“You are such a shithead.” Izuku laughs while he shakes his head. If he’s trying to fake disappointment, he’s doing a really shitty job at that.

“Language.” You giggle as you both make your way up the remaining stairs.

Deku’s agency is bustling with energy; there is music coming from the speakers on the wall, staff members running around with paperwork while the heroes lounge on the sofas in one of the corners of the massive, open space. There is another radio in the middle of the coffee table that’s connected to the police radio. The whole team perks up when they see their boss smiling, sunshine coming out of his ass when he pulls you closer protectively as the staff members and fellow heroes come closer and closer to inspect the new person.

You have so many questions about this room but the words die in your throat from the sudden attention.

“Hi.” You mumble into the space, almost hiding behind Izuku like a shy 5 year old.

“This must be the famous Sweet Pea.” One of his assistant disturbs the awkward silence with a knowing smile on her face. Izuku’s hands clench on your back, like he’s surprised by the comment.

“How did you know?” Izuku mumbles shyly.

“Well, this might be awkward for you, especially in front of her, so please forgive me for my rudeness, but your eyes shine the same way they do when you talk about her. Actually, it’s even more obnoxious now, please stop. There are lonely, single people up here who would kill to have what you have.”

“Is it that obvious?” Izuku scratches the back of his head with a small blush on his pretty little face. You have no idea what they are talking about anymore.

“Yeah, hun.” The assistant answers with a tiny chuckle and she goes back to her task. The people around you start to scatter, leaving the two of you alone, finally. Everyone was really nice and friendly but this whole thing is so overwhelming already, it was getting a bit too much for your heart.

“Before you start with your questions, let me tell you the basics about this floor.” Izu straightens up, using his best tour guide voice. You can’t help but giggle. “This room is where all the paperwork happens, even though I’m quite sure you realized that already.” He giggles. “And that corner with the massive sofa and the police radio is for all the heroes who don’t want to spend their time alone in their offices. I came up with that idea after a really mentally exhausting fight. Sitting alone in my office with no background noise was absolutely terrible. Sometimes, the silence can trigger your own negative thoughts as there is nothing to focus on, just your own voice telling you about all your flaws and how you’ll never be good enough for this job.” Izuku barely whispers the last bit of the sentence. You reach out for his hand automatically and he takes it without a second thought. “After a while, everyone started to use this space to chat around until the police radio goes off with something interesting. Obviously, this radio isn’t our main source of information, we have a 24/7 team on standby further down the hall who get to sort through missions and delegate them and we also have an emergency line which is connected to the emergency speakers and it can be heard all over the agency, even in the bathrooms. Thankfully, we haven’t had to use that one for a while.” Deku gives you a sad smile, probably remembering the last time the emergency sound blasted through the office.

It’s almost impossible not to act on your desires; on the urge to stroke his cheeks soothingly until he becomes putty in your hands, until he hides his face in the crook of your neck and a massive sigh leaves his mouth, warming up your sensitive spot until it burns, knowing you don’t need to feel ashamed anymore for liking it so much. Somehow, Izuku senses what you are trying to say, feels the protectiveness and the want, senses the sudden change in the air as you stare at the man of your dreams; his eyes get dark for only a second before they melt into a fond look, soft and pliant. It’s hot, but not burning, stinging but somehow, still soothing. Someone coughs in the background; the rest of the office starts giggling; you feel left out of the joke and so is Izuku.

“What happened?” Izuku asks politely, touching his face to see if there’s something on his mouth or on his face that makes the whole room giggle. “Is it something on my face?”

“No, no! You are all good, boss!” A blue skinned office worker answers for the team with a polite smile. “I think it’s time to show your… friend your office maybe?”

More giggles erupt in the background and Izuku is still clueless.

Your face slowly becomes redder and redder as the awkward silence continues.

“I think what they’re trying to say is that it’s time for us to continue our tour. Yeah.” You giggle awkwardly, shoving the hero towards the corridor on the right side. “Oh, look! More rooms! Exciting!”

Okay, you are doing a really shitty job at pretending you two didn’t just stop in the middle of the main office to eye-fuck each other and made the whole office laugh with your shenanigans, but you are doing your best.

“That’s the toilet.” Izuku deadpans, his face scrunched into a confused, adorable look. He’s so precious, goddammit. “Let’s go this way, I want to show you the gym, then there’s the communication room, the CCTV room, the hero offices, the cafeteria…” Izuku mumbles while he pulls you towards the furthest end of the hallway, clearly in a hurry. The deeper you two go the less people you bump into; you try to stop abruptly but it doesn’t really go the way you wanted it to; instead of him jerking to a stop you almost slip as he still manages to pull you forward even with your feet strongly planted on the floor. Sometimes, you forget how strong your… roommate?… is.

“Why are you in such a hurry, Izu? Am I bothering you? Do you want me to get out as soon as I can?” You mumble with a sad face. “If this is not the right time, we can come back later or not do this at all, Izuku, it’s fine…”

No, it’s not really fine. You want to see everything, you want to spend as much time with the hero as you can, but if it’s too much for him…

“Sweet Pea, for the love of god, I just want to get to my office so I can finally kiss you before I explode.” Izuku pants, his face flushed, but somehow still neutral. Damn, that’s boss Izuku for you, ladies and gents. “I also want to get home and cuddle. Talk about… us. I want to yell from the top of my lungs and show you off like you’re the most valuable treasure I’ve ever put my hands on. These sentences do not connect to each other at all so I guess I’m rambling nonsense again. I also said too much. Fuck.”

… and now he swears. Blimey governor, this must be the end of the world.

“Izuku, I absolutely fucking love you.” You grin while tears pool in your eyes from the sudden wave of happiness. Honestly, words can’t describe this feeling, it’s so overwhelming but so good, there is a new kind of warmth in your chest you’ve never felt before, soft and fulfilling, like the world can crumble in front of your feet but even that wouldn’t be enough to ruin the giddiness in your heart. “And you know what the best part is?”

“What?” Izuku doesn’t even try to stay out of your personal space anymore, he’s right in front of you with his hands on your hips, one palm moving up and down your sides like he can’t get enough.

“That there’s no need to hurry.” You smile at him giddily. “Because we have all our lives to do all of that. I’m not going anywhere. So let’s enjoy this moment instead of running through all the good parts, yeah? Slow…” You push yourself up to leave a tiny peck on the hero’s lips. Fuck, you still can’t believe you can do that. “And steady.” You end the sentence with another kiss, deeper, but still chaste. Izuku looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time, eyes glimmering in the fake lighting of the windowless hallway. It’s the least romantic place in the world, but somehow, this moment couldn’t be more perfect. Izuku leans his forehead on yours while he takes a few, staggered breaths; he tries his best not to grin, but he fails miserably.

“I’ll never let you go.” He mumbles confidently and you can’t help but smile.

“You don’t need to. Not anymore.”

It feels so good to say this out loud, finally.

“I love you. Let’s do this tour properly now. I want you to have the best time of your life here.” Izuku embraces you so tightly it kinda hurts and it’s hard to breathe, but it feels way too nice for you to comment on it.

Needless to say, kissing this man out of the blue yesterday was the best decision of your life.

“Let’s go then, Deku.” You mumble happily as you two fell into a steady rhythm by each other’s side, shamelessly holding hands in the empty corridor.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Bloody hell, I thought I’ll never post again, dude! Life has been hectic, as you all know already. I’m still not sure how often I’ll be able to post but I’ll do my best!

- About all the suggestiveness in this chapter: I really hope I was able to show you how even the dirtiest conversations sound innocent from Deku’s mouth and there is a reason for that; he might have these cheeky thoughts but he’s actually a really sweet and calm lover, so if you are alarmed by all the suggestiveness, don’t worry. This is a sweet little story so even if thinks go further than a few kisses it will stay sweet. :D

- Yes, Deku’s agency is connected to Dynamight’s, there will be more info about that in the next chapter!

- I hope this long ass chapter was a good enough apology for you, guys! Have a lovely day 🥦

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! 🥦

TL: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @kastuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover

[fumifooms]

Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU

I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them. Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.

I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!

There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:

And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.

(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)

Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.

Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".

And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure. Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….

This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now

[l-estappen]

The Crown Jewel 🇲🇨

ii. EA Sports F1 24 'The 10 Racers'

"He won in Vegas; he wins in Monte Carlo! Charles Leclerc wins this EA Sports F1 24 'The 10 Racers' event. What a drive! Unbelievable stuff there from Charles Leclerc, taking the victory," Matt Gallagher’s voice booms through the speakers, announcing my win.

From my simulator, I spot Max in his, a playful gleam in his eye. He’s finished second, but he’s always my biggest competition and supporter. Our rivalry makes everything more exciting, constantly pushing us to be better, both on and off the track.

Naomi Schiff approaches, the studio lights reflecting off her bright smile as she holds the mic out. "Congratulations, Charles! Your first Monaco Grand Prix victory. Tell us, what emotions are you feeling right now? You're not crying as much as in qualifying."

I chuckle, recalling how my eyes had stung and teared up from the unbroken focus, a moment that had been mistaken for crying. "No, qualifying was the peak of the weekend…" I burst out laughing, "… but yeah, it was a very good race. We had a different strategy from Max. He went for soft-medium, which was aggressive and nearly worked. But his tires were done by the end, so we managed to take the win. Very special feeling today."

From the corner of my eye, I see someone hand Max a mic. Still in his simulator, mischief sparkles in his eyes. Naomi turns to him, curiosity lighting up her face. "Max, you were so close to winning. What happened?"

"You know how it is. Sometimes you take risks, and they pay off, and sometimes…" He pauses dramatically, glancing at me, "…they don't. Today, it was all about tire strategy. Charles got lucky."

"Lucky?" I interject with a laugh. "Is that what we’re calling skill these days?"

Max grins, his playful nature shining through. "We all know you had the racing sim gods on your side today. Who else could keep their tires in such good condition?"

"Or maybe I just know how to take care of my car better. It's not all about speed, you know. Sometimes, finesse wins the race."

Naomi, sensing the playful banter, smiles broadly. "So, Max, are you saying Charles' victory was purely luck? Or is there some admiration hidden in there somewhere?"

Max feigns a thoughtful expression, tapping his chin. "Let's see… I'd say 90% luck, 10% skill."

"He’s just jealous because he lost. Admit it, I’m the better driver."

Max raises an eyebrow, his grin widening. "Better driver? We’ll see about that this weekend."

Naomi laughs along with us, enjoying the light-hearted exchange. "It sounds like the rivalry is alive and well. Charles, any final words before we wrap up?"

"Just that I’m looking forward to the weekend. And thank you for having us."

As the interview wraps up and the cameras turn off, I push myself out of the simulator. Max mirrors my actions, a grin on his face as he approaches.

"Congrats, schatje," he whisper, pulling me into a tight hug. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head, his playful grin still in place.

“Merci bébé,” I counter, my voice coming out a bit breathless. The proximity, the heat of his body against mine, the way his hand lingers on my back—it’s all getting to me. Winning always gets me fired up, but winning against Max intensifies the effect.

"Remember our little agreement?"

Max's eyes widen slightly, the mischief in them flickering with curiosity. "Of course. The winner gets to choose the prize," he remarks, his voice low and playful.

"I want you to blow me," I whisper, my lips brushing his ear. "In the bathroom, right now."

Max pulls back, glancing around to ensure we're not being watched. "And who am I to deny the victor his prize?"

Without another word, we make our way to the bathroom at the back, and as the door clicks shut behind us, I grab Max, shoving him against the cool tile wall. My hands roam over his body, feeling the heat of his skin through his clothes, fingers digging into his muscles.

My lips crash onto his, the kiss searing and desperate. I nip at his lower lip, pulling it between my teeth, and he groans, the sound rough and guttural. His hands tangle in my hair, yanking me closer, his body grinding against mine.

"Fuck, Charles," he mutters, breath hot against my mouth, "what the hell's gotten into you?"

"Beating you makes me hard," I manage to reply, my tongue plunging into his mouth, tasting him, claiming him.

“Baby, someone could hear us,” he murmurs, but there’s no real protest in his voice.

“Let them,” I growl, quickly switching positions with him. My hands are already undoing my pants as I push them and my boxers down, my erection springing free. I guide Max onto his knees, my hand tangling in his hair, and he doesn’t need any more encouragement.

His hands dig into my thighs, pulling me closer as he takes me into his mouth. The wet heat of his tongue wraps around me and he works me expertly, swirling around the head of my cock, teasing me before he plunges deeper, taking me to the hilt, exactly how I like it.

“Putain, Max,” I gasp, my head falling back against the wall. The sensation of his mouth around me is overwhelming, each bob of his head sending waves of pleasure through me. I thrust my hips forward, and he takes me deeper, his throat constricting around me.

His saliva drips down, mixing with my own pre-cum, adding to the slickness. The smell of sex fills the small space, intensifying the raw, filthy nature of the moment.

My fingers tighten in his hair, guiding his movements as I sink in further, hitting the back of his throat, and his gag reflex squeezes me tighter, sending another wave of intense pleasure coursing through my body.

“Just like that, bébé,” I pant, my voice rough with need.

He hums around me, the vibration adding another layer of sensation. His hands move to my ass, pulling me closer as he takes me even deeper, his nose brushing against my pubes. I can feel the pressure building, my orgasm approaching fast.

"Gonna come, Max," I warn, my grip tightening. He doesn’t slow down, his pace quickening as he sucks harder. I can’t hold back anymore. With a final thrust, I come hard, my cock pulsing as I spill into his mouth. His throat works around me, swallowing every drop eagerly. The sight of his lips sealed around me, the way he hungrily takes it all, makes my knees weak. His tongue flicks and laps up the last of it, ensuring nothing is wasted. The warm, slick sensation of his mouth, the sound of his swallowing, and the lingering aftershocks send shivers through my body.

I slump against the wall, trying to catch my breath as he stands up, wiping the corner of his mouth with a satisfied smirk. "Did that meet your expectations?" he asks, his voice husky.

“Exceed them, as always,” I reply, drawing him into a tender kiss. The taste of myself on his lips only fuels my desire for him. “Your turn next time.”

Max leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, enveloping him in a warm embrace. “I’ll hold you to that, Schatje.”

“Count on it,” I murmur into his neck.

[iluvchoso]

Take a break… (Choso x Black! Fem Reader)

Synopsis: in which your boyfriend, Choso, wants you to take a short “break” from your school work.

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, lots of praise, soft dom choso, pet names, vaginal sex, unprotected sex.

A/N: This is my first time writing smut and I am still fairly new to making content on this app. I do hope you guys enjoy!

“Princess c’mere, why are you sitting so far away from me?” Choso asks with his voice dropping below its usual octave. He reached his arm out to pull the bottom of your chair leg closer to him. His toned arms, that were usually clad in a sweater, were exposed in all their muscular glory. As he decided it would be a good day to wear a wife beater to the study date in your dorm.

“Choso, baby, you know damn well we will not get any work done if you keep trying to find ways to close the distance between us.” You half heartedly state before getting back to the unfinished project you guys had been working on for a solid 2 hours. You knew if you gave Choso too much attention he’d start getting handsy. That just cannot happen right now, especially when you were so close to finishing the assignment that your professor made 90% of your grade.

Choso rolled his eyes at your response and sat back in his chair. “We’ve been working for hours just take a break with me, ma.” He practically begged while rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. As an attempt to coax you into taking this “break” with him. The slightly cold feeling of his metal rings sent goosebumps down your legs.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to. You were beginning to feel an overwhelming sense of stress from the project. And wanted nothing more than to get that stress fucked out of you by the love of your life. You slowly began to remove your eyes from your work and towards Choso. Who already seemed to be undressing you with his imagination. He couldn’t help it when you were sporting nothing but a tank top that accentuated your perky breasts and booty shorts. He was feigning for you at this point and not to mention you had your long box braids tied into a neat bun. Knowing that he loves your hair that way because it emphasized your beautiful features.

“Fine, but only for a little while, okay?” You stare at him with a serious look, “Still got work to do,” you mutter to yourself. Choso hums in response with a cocky grin plastered on his face.

After receiving the “okay” he wastes no time to yank you from your seat and into his lap. You yelp from his unexpected aggression. As your butt fell directly onto his boner causing him to groan in pleasure. You carefully place your glossed lips onto his chapped ones. You started off at a slow pace before Choso quickens it by slipping his tongue inside your mouth.

As the kiss deepened you find the fabric of your panties becoming more and more wet. You rutted against his lap beckoning for more friction. Choso removes his lips from yours as he notices how desperate you’re getting.

“Seems like you needed a break more than me, ma.” He chuckles before bringing his fingers into your shorts, basking in the wet sensation you created. “Look at the mess my pretty girl made. Gonna clean you up real nice, yeah?” He pulls his fingers out of your bottoms and places them in his mouth to get a taste test of tonight’s dinner.

You look at him in shock before burying your face in the crook of his neck out of embarrassment. Unable to utter any words besides a small whine. He always knew how to make you feel flustered. Thank God for you being black or you would’ve turned as red as a tomato.

“Is my baby girl embarrassed?” He softly questions while picking you up like a baby and taking the short journey to your bed. “Just wanna make you feel good,” he mumbled while pulling your body toward the end of the bed by your feet. He peppers light kisses against your ankle and makes his way up toward your thighs. Purposely missing the attention your sweet spot so rightfully deserves.

You cover your face with your hands and began to feel extremely hot and bothered by choso’s teasing. “Choso, please I need you so bad,” you whimpered out of desperation.

He looks up at you like a confused puppy before upturning half his lip into smirk. “Need you to speak up for me baby, where do you need me?” He teases you again for the umpteenth time while he pries your hands off your face. Swiftly taking both hands into his larger one and holding them above your head. His taller form overshadowed your smaller one as his gold chain dangled above your nose. Patiently waiting for you to answer his question.

You advert your eyes from his unwavering gaze and try to regulate your breathing. Your cheeks were growing hot. Although Choso is such a sweetheart, the minute you’re in the bedroom he makes you feel so nervous. You were growing wetter by the second. It was to the point that your panties were making you uncomfortable.

“Choso please, right here.” You practically moan out while lifting your hips to touch his clothed cock. He lifts an eyebrow at your needy actions before placing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Anything for you, my love,” Choso affectionately states. He then let’s go of your wrists and makes his way back down your body. Not forgetting to rid yourselves of the clothing that were restricting the both of you in the process.

Choso wastes no time in opening your legs to smell the familiar scent of your sweet sex. He places his tongue flat on you clit and immediately begins to slurp and suck like you were his last supper. Choso could’ve nutted right then and there if he didn’t have self control. The satisfying sounds of your moans, the tugging of your hands through his dark hair, and your addictive taste had his dick dripping with precum.

The pleasure was becoming too much to bear and you could feel the climax building. The shaking of your leg was proof that you were gonna orgasm any minute now. Choso halts his actions and shoots his head up from his previous position. His lips and the skin around it was covered in your slick and he was panting like a dog in heat. It was such a sinful sight to see.

“Open up for me and suck.” He demands while tapping your lips with two fingers. You obediently swirl your tongue around his calloused fingers whilst fluttering your eyelashes at him. “Shit, baby, you look so good right now.” He groans out and takes his fingers out your mouth.

You impatiently watch him slip the first finger inside of you with ease. He waits a bit to let you gets used to the feeling. Then slides the second finger into your entry.

“How are you feeling sweetheart? You ready for more?” He looks at you intently, making sure there are no signs of discomfort.

You nod your head up and down eagerly. You genuinely felt like your body would explode if he didn’t hurry and shove his dick in you. You’ve been waiting so patiently and even allowed him to continuously tease you with barely any complaints. For anything you deserve his cock as a reward.

“Use your words, baby.” He softy speaks while pushing his fingers in and out of your sopping cunt. He began to use his spare hand to rub your pebbled nippples under his finger tips. Making sure to pull and tug on each nipple for an equal amount of time.

“Please Choso, I just want your dick inside of me.”You moaned out begging for him to give you what you want. Oh, how Choso loved seeing you like this all fucked out and needy for his cock before he even gives it to you. It made him feel so special. As if he was the cure for your disease.

Choso grabbed the bottom of one of your thick thighs and hoisted it up so that your ankle was next to his ear. The feeling of your gold anklet was against the smooth skin of his neck. He looked so goddamn sexy.

He carefully lined his throbbing member with your opening and steadily slid it in. You felt the intense feeling of pain and pleasure and whined. Choso followed suit and muttered a “shit” under his breath. He was doing everything possible to keep himself from cumming at the feeling of your gummy walls tightening around him.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good. Let me know when you want me to move okay?” Choso states before softly rubbing his hand up and down your calf. He places a faint kiss against the skin of your ankle.

You wait a minute to get used to his size that seemed to grow even bigger when he was inside of you. “Choso, I’m ready for you to move.” You say before making grabby hands for him to come closer. Choso happily obliged and allows you to wrap your hands around his neck. He then places his lips on top of yours to sloppily make out with you.

You can’t help but break the kiss and moan so loud that you’re pretty sure the whole college campus could hear your mouth. All of a sudden Choso stops his pace completely causing you to emit a high pitched groan in pure disappointment.

“Just a second baby,” he reassures like he’s planning something. Then quickly pulls out and flips you onto your stomach. “Arch that back for me, mama, I wanna see that perfect ass I love so much.” He smirks as you wiggle your butt up towards him purposely hitting his aching boner. He sandwiched his cock between your butt cheeks before slamming back into your soaked cunt. This time going deeper than ever before. He smacked the fat of your butt just to hear a cry erupt from your mouth.He continues to do steady strokes, only occasionally changing his speed if he feels he’s about to cum.

“Fuck, baby, right there, just keep hitting that spot, I’m about to cum!” You scream in pleasure as choso repeatedly hit your g-spot like there was no tomorrow.

“My pretty girl is taking me so well. Gonna let you cum all over my cock as a reward” He says in a low voice while pinching your clit to maximize your release. That familiar pit in your stomach reveals itself as your legs shake. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as choso continues to talk you through your orgasm. You finish all over his pale cock as he quickly pulls out to cum on your plump ass.

You revert to your original position on your back and Choso falls next to you. The two of you are a sweaty and panting mess. Choso pulls you into his muscular arms and places soft kisses all over your face. Causing you to giggle from the contact .

“Aren’t you glad I got you to take a break?” He questions with a smile. While putting a few stray braids that fell out of your bun behind your ear.

“Yes baby, but, after we clean up we still have some more work to do.” You state a matter-of-factly before placing a quick kiss on lips . Choso tries to deepen it but you pull away giving him a warning look.

“Fine, but let’s cuddle first, okay?” He whispers in your ear and holds you in a tight grip as if you would disappear if he let go.

“Okay,” you softly reply while basking in his scent of faint cologne and sweat from your previous activity.

————————————————————————

ILUVCHOSO 2022 ©️ all rights reserved to @iluvchoso. please refrain from copying or reposting as your own.

[arcplaysgames]

This sum up should be quick.

I'm making progress on Marie, even though she is a pain in the ass to level up. She's... fine? I like her existing as a vehicle for everyone else to show up and be cute. 8)

Teddie says the other half is Teddie Fur but we all know it's omnidirectional amorousness.

WHAT MUSIC DOES KANJI LISTEN TO. I WANT TO KNOW. I hope it's important american rock he doesn't understand the words to as well as stuff like 90s Japanese singer-songwriter mellow rock that he knows every word to.

Rise please. Look at her. She marched up to Marie, looked her up and down twice, then squared off with Reverie. I'm dying.

TEN OUT OF TEN, KIDS, YOU'RE ALL EXCELLENT.

That's what makes them great, Marie, how do you not get this.

OH WAIT REWIND. ADACHI SLINK 5.

I'M SAYIN!!!!!! I AM SAYING! THIS WHOLE SLINK IS FUCKING WEIRD!!!!! It's all weirdly flirtatious and REALLY reminds me of Shuu from Hatoful Boyfriend, like for REAL. Except I'm genuinely unsure Adachi cares enough to put my head in a jar like Shuu did, that would require Adachi to give a shit.

Adachi immediately bails on tutoring Reverie and elects to help Nanako instead. When she says she has to write a book report, he IMMEDIATELY, ZERO HESITATION, explains how to cheat one. Which yeah we all KNOW that but she's six! Adachi, she's six! Let the school system grind her down into putting minimum effort on it's own, don't fast track that!

Turns out that Nanako needs to read her book and have an adult give her a mark to prove she did it.

WHAT IS THIS. he draws a flower for her and then offers me one. this slink is so fucking weird. do you all see why I am getting Ryoji vibes?????

Over in Hierophant land

Dojima is genuinely making progress. He's mature enough to see his own stagnation and that if he lets it happen, Nanako will grow up without him. And at that point, I don't know if the chasm between them can be bridged.

There is another SLink event around now as well, where Nanako needs to get her dad to attend Parent-Teacher night and she automatically assumes he won't come, and Reverie promises to help her ask him. LIKE!!!!! This is such basic shit, and it's like pushing a boulder uphill. I'm hoping, like with a boulder uphill, once we reach the peak, the whole thing will roll on at speed. Because man this is hard.

This is cute and maybe the first time I've really liked Dojima in 40 hours. He has the capacity to be the cool uncle! It's there!

He should def quit his job.

So, Rise. She had her old manager visit, wanting to talk to her about an acting gig, and she aggressively chased him off. Which, good for her.

If Rise is Lovers, I wonder if the unity and decision coming for her is not with another person per se but with Risette. Can she make a decision to join with herself, the parts of her idol persona she feels genuine connection to, and together become a new improved and more honest Rise? If this slink is good, that's what the arc would be.

ALSO DID YOU ALL KNOW THERE ARE BONUS LECTURES FROM EDOGAWA? oh my god i wish they just sprung for a fucking voice actor for him and acted all of this out. I want to hear all this shit.

LOVE THAT HE'S "GEKKOUKAN'S RENOWNED OCCULTIST." I adore him. I want him in every game.

[moonlightchess]

Please forgive the writing rant, but god, I'm about ready to give up entirely. Sent in my latest chapter block to my editor, my current WIP is a commissioned romance novella that is quickly stretching into a full work. In it, my heroine Sara, a struggling sculptor/3D artist in her early 30s, hears a knock on her door early one evening. It turns out to be a very well-mannered young British man, a butler in fact, hand-delivering an invitation to her per the instructions of his employer. His employer turns out to be a man named Julian, who has been masquerading as a woman named "Paula Germaine" on paper for several years, in the interest of purchasing many of Sara's pieces without her knowing the real identity of her most prolific benefactor.

Julian's proposal is fairly simple: he grew up in hiding, the lost prince of a tiny Franco-Germanic nation that was absorbed fully into Switzerland in the 90s after their military was all but destroyed in a war with a bordering nation. To avoid total ruin, they denounced their queen, Julian's mother, and pled allegiance to Switzerland. Julian's mother fled to America with her small son to avoid assassination, and hid her son from potential kidnappers or murderers for over a decade. He rarely left his home as a child, but grew into an adult who is fluent in nine languages, has more than one doctorate, and after the death of his mother and his reluctant emergence into public life, the Swiss government allocated to him the royal inheritance that they'd been holding as no one knew where the lost prince of Valdoria had been for decades.

Before her death, Julian's mother had married an extremely wealthy day trader in New York, further supplementing the family's income and leaving Julian well beyond a millionaire when all was said and done. Now he's approaching 40, and while he's generally awkward and reserved socially, he also laughs uncontrollably at the faces barn owls make - nearly his entire TikTok FYP is owls, for some reason. He trips over everything, is self-conscious about his glasses, and he desperately wants to take care of Sara professionally. For him, this means financial support in every way she could possibly want or need - he proves his intent by opening an unlimited credit account in her name, directly connected to his own so that she has full access to his money. He expects literally nothing in return, has been terribly alone all his life and he fell in love with Sara's work long before he saw her face. He only wants to give her the world. A dream, right? And of course they're being stalked by some unhinged murderers because everyone loves a conflict.

My editor's thoughts:

1: "Sara's too old though, if he's only 40 she should be closer to 22 - 25."

2: "You described her hair as being short, you'll need to 86 that. No one's going to buy a book about a girl with a buzz cut being romanced."

3: "Also Julian's not intimidating enough, he should throw her around a little. Make a few demands for all the money he's offering to spend on her, you know? Cut out some of the quirks too, him being physically clumsy isn't attractive."

4: "He needs to be less shy too, basically just make him more aggressive and dominant. Looking forward to the next block!"

Me, having literally taken on this project in the sole interest of doing the exact opposite of everything she requested and writing a romantic hero who is vulnerable and gentle and emotionally wounded in ways that literally do not require him to force a woman to "save" or "fix" him:

[ryuzakemo128]

Stranger Things Incorrect Quotes Part Three

Dividers Used: Link

Part one / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven

Masterlist

Mike: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Mike: *aggressively throws water bottles* Eddie: Uh... what's up with him? Marianna: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Mike: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Steve, crying: It's working.

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Steve, teaching Eddie to drive: Okay, you're driving and Marianna and Mike walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Eddie: Oh, definitely Mike. I could never hurt Marianna. Steve, massaging his temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Marianna: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip? Eddie: Yea, I could drink legally! Steve: I could hang out with the boys! Mike: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

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Mike: Which country has the most birds? Mike: Portu-geese! Marianna: That's a language. Mike: Portu-gull? Marianna: Good recovery. Eddie: I think you mean good re-dovery. Steve: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Mike: *is hugging Marianna* Steve: Hey! It's my turn to hug Marianna! Steve: *grabs Marianna* Eddie: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Mike: No, It's still my turn! Marianna: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly! Steve: But we need the moral support! Mike: And you're small! Which is cute! Eddie: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Marianna: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

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Steve: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Marianna: Fucking Eddie and Mike were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

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Marianna: I'm bored. Eddie: Wanna commit first degree murder? Marianna: Sure! Steve, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Mike down!!

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Steve, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Mike: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Marianna, visibly confused: Okay, so he decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Steve, spraying Mike: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Mike: Dude, I forgot- Steve: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Eddie: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Steve: How late were you up last night? Mike & Eddie, in tandem: Me? Steve: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. Steve, to Marianna: You.

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Steve: Made you all playlists! Steve: Mike, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Steve: Marianna, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Steve: And Eddie has the ABBA Gold album.

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Mike: This was almost a great idea. Marianna: You just described 90% of our stuff.

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Eddie: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... Marianna: Only as their rodeo clown.

Marianna: Life could be worse, Eddie. Eddie: Life could be a lot better too!

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Marianna: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Steve: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person. Marianna: You don’t have to wear… Steve: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

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Mike: I feel awful about killing you. Steve: Mike: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

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Marianna: Steve, fuck off. Marianna: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

Mike: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Marianna: ... Mike: Oh, right. The lying.

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Eddie: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind. Marianna: Thank god.

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Eddie: Marianna, my old friend! Marianna: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Eddie: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

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Mike: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies. Marianna: You’re too young to have enemies. Mike: You don’t even know.

Billy: I owe you one. Marianna: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

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Billy: Are we fighting or flirting? Marianna: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Billy: Your point?

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Billy: So you like cats? Marianna: Yeah. Billy: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

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Marianna: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Billy is? Because Billy is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Billy: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Marianna: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

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Billy: Relationships should be 50/50. Marianna cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

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Marianna: *angrily presses Billy against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Billy: ... Billy: Are we about to kiss-

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Marianna: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Billy: Wow. They sound stupid. Marianna: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Billy: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Marianna: I guess you’re right. Hey Billy, I love you. Billy: See! Just say that! Marianna: Holy fucking shit. Billy: If that flies over their head then, sorry Marianna, but they're too dumb for you. Marianna: Billy.

[passerine-writes]

Silent Sparks - Volt 89

Warnings: More therapyyyy Word count: 2994

Notes: Italics - Tsukare signing Bold italics - Family member/friend signing 'Italics with apostrophes' - Thoughts

Masterlist

Volt 88 | Volt 90

The next day classes dragged on and on, my boyfriend even short circuiting during Uncle Ecto's math class and saying 'start by carrying the yay'. Then before we left for the cafeteria, I saw Aoyama putting cheese into Midoriya's mouth.

I watched closely for a minute to make sure he wouldn't try anything else, but once I saw Iida had it under control, I went to the cafeteria. Denki saved a spot for me beside him, my brother and Kiri sat across from us, Bakugou on the other side of the red head. Sero sat on Denki's other side followed by Mina.

Where's Izuku?

He got trapped talking to Aoyama. He should be here soon if you want to sit with everyone else.

I'd rather sit with you today. Bro talk later?

Bro talk later.

Bakugou watched annoyed, glaring as he aggressively ate his food. Most of the table talked comfortably, bouncing words back and forth, but I couldn't keep up. Everything felt muddled. Denki slowly moved his hand into my thigh, his palm resting up and allowed me to fidget with his fingers.

I glanced at Kirishima and saw him blushing wildly and stammering on and off for the right words. Sero was concealing one of his smirks and Mina looked proud of herself.

Poor Kiri. He got set up.

I leaned around my boyfriend and flicked Hanta, giving him a pointed look. He gave me a guilty smile in turn, knowing he had been caught. My brother threw a grain of rice from his lunch at me.

What's going on?

I can't say anything, I promised I'd keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry.

He rolled his eyes but accepted the answer, knowing how much I took privacy seriously.

"Everything okay?" Denki mumbled into my ear and I nodded, scooching a little closer to him.

"Yeah, might have to go code yellow on one of our friends." I said jokingly, loud enough for Sero to hear and make him pale.

"Oh gods." He laughed out, oblivious to what all had happened.

"You two." I said in the commons at almost midnight, pointing at Mina and Sero. The group of us hanging out since none of us could seem to get some sleep.

"Who? Us?" Mina asked.

"Whatever for?" Sero said with just as much sarcasm, a hand splayed on his chest.

"Upstairs. Now." Sero rubbed his elbows nervously and took the walk of shame up to his room, Mina following behind him while I was in the back. They awkwardly sat down on the bed and stared at the ground. "Why would you two put him in that situation?" I asked.

"Look, it's not as bad as you thoug-"

"Cállate." I said firmly, watching Sero's eyes widen. "I will go full hispanic mother on you right now, he was extremely uncomfortable back there." I said defensively.

"Okay, so, Ei told us that he was confused about his feelings between Bakubabes and Toshibabes, so we figured a nudge in the right direction would help." Mina explained, going on for another fifteen minutes to explain her elaborate plan that she thought of.

"I'm not even going to ask what you just called my brother. The point is, is that Kirishima was so clearly uncomfortable back there. This is something he needs to figure out on his own, I understand where you both were coming from, and I know you both wanted to help, but when it's something like that you need to talk to him first." I explained.

"But we did the same thing with you and Kami." Mina pouted.

"That was different. I already knew what my feelings towards Denks was. You knew my feelings towards him. Everyone basically knew except him somehow. Kirishima is still trying to figure out his feelings and I know you like to get involved with people's love lives. I understand that, but you also need to know when to step back, or at least keep me in the loop so I can help you take a step back." I told her. She slowly nodded.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"You need to apologize to Kirishima. And you." Hanta looked at me with wide eyes and sat completely still. "Why?"

"Mina talked me into it." He said solemnly. "She just wanted to help Kiri, so I agreed and asked Shinsou to sit with us at lunch when we saw Midoriya wasn't there yet."

"And you both are very well aware that my brother likes Izuku." I said firmly, stating the clear as day fact. "You also know that my brother and I are both fairly antisocial. We have our comfort people. Yes, all of you have become my comfort people in one sense or another, but for Toshi, outside of family, his main comfort person is Izuku. And I would be willing to bet that he's going to ask me if you guys were messing with him at lunch."

"I'm sorry for not thinking things through." Hanta said softly. "And I'll make sure to apologize to Kirishima."

"Thank you. Now who the hell is blowing up my phone after midnight?" I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket, fully prepared to see a multitude of texts from my family, or Kiri and Denki texting in the group chat to figure out if this was a true code yellow or if I was bluffing earlier. Instead, I saw multiple messages from Izuku.

From Rayquaza: 911

From Rayquaza: Emergency

From Rayquaza: I'm freaking out and I need you to come to my dorm

From Rayquaza: I texted Hitoshi too

From Rayquaza: I feel like I'm going crazy

"Can one of you tell Denki I'll meet him in his room in a little while? I have to go to Izuku's room." I told them before ducking out of the room. My brother was about to step into the elevator until he saw me running towards him. "Do you know what happened?"

"No, I was hoping you would." He said, the both of us impatiently waiting for the elevator to hit floor two. We rushed to his room and let ourselves in to find him anxiously pacing with his hands in his hair.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked him softly as I turned on his All Might lamp.

I think Aoyama was on my balcony. I don't know. What if I imagined it? If it was him I don't want him listening in.

"Okay, let's go to my room. Yeah?" He nodded and followed us over one door to help ease his racing mind. "Okay, walk us through it, what happened?"

"I've been having a hard time sleeping and I heard something on my balcony. I could hear footsteps so I pretended to be sleeping just in case. A- And I opened my eyes just a little bit to look in my mirror so I could see who it was and I saw Aoyama on my balcony just staring at me. I waited for him to leave before texting you and he left a message on my balcony in cheese. It said 'I know' but I don't know what that could even be about and what if I just imagined it? What if it didn't really happen?" He rushed out and I was relieved that I turned on my light so I could read his lips.

"Breathe. If you say you saw him then we believe you." Hitoshi said slowly, trying to help ground him a little more.

"Izuku?" His head shot towards me and the panic in his eyes made my chest contract. "When was the last time you properly slept?"

"I don't know. Not since the raid." I nodded and kept my demeanor soft so he would feel more relaxed.

"Okay. Look, I believe you. Hitoshi believes you. We don't think you were imagining anything. I want you to sleep in Hitoshi's room tonight, so you're less freaked out and you get a little more sleep. I promise it'll help. It will clear your head a bit for when you think about it in the morning and run through what happened ten more times. Okay?" I asked softly.

"Okay. Yeah, yeah that makes sense. I'm not crazy."

"You're not crazy. You've always been extremely observant and tactical, it wasn't a dream, it wasn't imagined. If you say it happened, then it happened." He nodded along to my words, and I watched the weight slowly come off of his shoulders.

"It happened. I'm not crazy. He is. He was on my balcony and left a message in cheese." He mumbled, starting to relax a bit.

"It happened." Hitoshi echoed to him. "Let's go to my room." He followed with softly.

The two slowly walked out and I got changed into something that wasn't starting to mess with my sensory issues. A pair of basketball shorts and no shirt. I texted my boyfriend and waited patiently for him to respond before heading to his room. As soon as he saw me, he pulled me into a hug and not so subtly checked me out.

"Everything okay with Midoriya?" He asked, making sure he was in my line of sight.

"Yeah, he's sleeping in Hitoshi's room tonight." I told him, resting my head on his shoulder a little. One of his hands came up and combed through my hair, making my entire body relax almost immediately. He slowly guided me over to his bed and we sat down, my head laying on his shoulder still.

"Do you wanna put anything on to watch?" He asked, grabbing my attention before talking.

"Sure. Anything in particular you wanna watch?" He thought about it for a moment, but half shrugged. I slowly lifted my head and watched as he grabbed his laptop, pulling up a streaming service and let me get comfortable with him.

I laid down next to him and curled into his side a bit, trying my hardest to fight any walls my brain had reinforced in the last week. He scrolled through the different movies until we both agreed on one and he immediately clicked the subtitles button.

"Can you see?" He asked and I nodded a little. "Hey, you okay?" He asked and I nodded again. He paused the movie and looked at me. "What's going on babe?"

"It's nothing, just dumb stuff." I mumbled, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Even if you think it's dumb, I wanna hear about it." He told me earnestly. I slowly started drawing shapes on his stomach, hoping to distract my racing heart for a minute.

"Just in a depressive episode." I mumbled, not used to talking about my emotions with him.

"I had a feeling, I just didn't want to say anything and put you on the spot after everything that happened with the raid." He told gently, his eyes trailing to my hand that was still tracing shapes on his abdomen, growing visibly confused when I stopped.

"Recovery Girl also said that the raid was a major setback for me." I managed to get out and he let me take my time. "Uh, th-this is how I used to act when I was a kid."

"What do you mean?" I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, kicking myself mentally for opening my mouth.

"My Pops told you how when I was a kid, I was really quiet and stuff." He moved his hand towards mine gingerly, playing with my fingertips. "I was always scared of using my quirk cause I was told it hurt people, so I avoided talking." I explained, looking at the wall as I spoke. I looked back up at him hesitantly, not knowing how he might react.

"You're scared you're going to hurt me?" I slowly nodded against his chest. "Ryo, you won't hurt me. Especially not on purpose."

"But I already did. And I hurt Izuku. I don't want to hurt you again." I said, practically pleading with him.

"Onryo." He mumbled and I curled into him a little more.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to get past this mental block. I promise." His face softened and he placed a kiss on top of my head.

"I know you are. You don't need to apologize for struggling." I let my body relax a bit and sink into his side fully, I placed a chaste kiss to his abdomen instead of reaching up.

A few times through out the movie I let my eyes fall shut, but after a few minutes my body always jolted back awake until I gave up on sleep. I sat up a little more and gave him a kiss on the cheek, his sleep filled eyes looking at me confused.

"Can you stay?" He asked in what I could only imagine being a groggy voice.

"I'll stay. Do you wanna get comfy?" I asked him and he nodded. After a moment, he had his face buried in my stomach and his legs tangled with mine. His right hand came up and he sleepily starting tracing some of my scars and for once, I didn't let myself be scared about what he thought.

What's this one from?

He showed me what he typed on his phone before pointing to the thick on on my side just beneath my ribs.

"Those ones are from the Nomu in Hosu." I told him softly. He tapped another one and I looked at it. "That one I think was from one of my foster homes." He tapped a third one and as soon as I saw it I started laughing a little. "That one actually has a bit of a story. I tried to jump off a swing." I could almost feel the confused expression on his face. "I was about nine or ten and living with my Dad's. Toshi and I were at the play ground and I got really high on the swings, so I jumped off without thinking cause it was fun. I landed a little funny and rolled my ankle. Unbeknownst to us, one of the stakes in the wall of the platform was sticking up and pointed and I rolled right into it. My Pops was freaking out, Toshi looked like he saw a ghost and it resulted in a day trip to the hospital." He softly laughed, his eyes finally starting to flutter shut all the way. "Good night, baby." I whispered, moving my hand up to play with his hair. Eventually my phone buzzed quite some time later, and my guess was correct that it was Hitoshi texting me.

From Espeon: Bro talk?

To Espeon: Bro talk, what's going on?

From Espeon: What was that about in lunch? Were our friends messing with me or am I just not getting their humor.

To Espeon: No they weren't messing with you, it's something I can't get into because I promised I wouldn't and it's not my place to anyways, but I promise they weren't messing with you

From Espeon: You're sure?

To Espeon: I'm sure

To Espeon: What else is going on?

From Espeon: My depressions been getting worse again.

To Espeon: When did it start getting worse?

From Espeon: Technically a month ago, but more recently in the past few days and I don't think stressing about my birth family is helping. I've been thinking about talking to Dad and Pops about trying antidepressants.

To Espeon: Why didn't you say anything sooner?

From Espeon: I guess part of it is the same reason you don't say anything. Worrying about putting more on their plate. But the other part is it's not a constant. I can handle a depressive episode that lasts a week. So I just tried to ignore it and carry on with life because it's nothing new. But then it started getting worse and I'm at the point where I know I need more help and if I ignore it anymore then it'll only get worse.

To Espeon: If you think medication will help regulate it, then I say go for it. Dad and Pops are going to ask a million questions though, so just be prepared for that, and you know I'm always here if you need someone

From Espeon: You're with Kaminari a lot of the time now.

To Espeon: Shinsou Hitoshi

From Espeon: Oh shit.

To Espeon: I don't give a singular fuck. I don't care who I am with in the moment, whether it be Denki, Dad, our friends, Nedzu, whoever. If you text me saying you need me, I'm coming to wherever the fuck you are to help you. Yknow why? Because you're my brother. You're my family. I'm always gonna have your back. And if our friends or my boyfriend gets bent out of shape because I'm there for my brother, then that's a separate issue and conversation I get to have with that person.

From Espeon: Thanks man.

To Espeon: Now who the fuck do I have to beat up that made you think I wouldn't be there for you because I have a boyfriend?

From Espeon: My overthinking brain.

To Espeon: I will curb stomp that small portion of your brain so that doesn't happen anymore

From Espeon: I think that would kill me.

To Espeon: Never mind then. Antidepressants it is.

From Espeon: Is there anything I should expect with antidepressants?

To Espeon: Be prepared for one or two of them not to work and for your body to slowly build a tolerance to them once you find the one that does work

From Espeon: That sounds somewhat manageable.

To Espeon: For the most part it is, but you have to be completely honest during your med checks and you have to let someone know immediately if you're getting any bad side effects.

From Espeon: Fuck.

[oorpe]

fuck certificate mills

Jesus Fuckballs Christ is ITIL certification a grift and a half. The job wants me to get certified on this basic ITIL 4 thingy. That means I have to install the official peoplecert proctoring spyware on the company laptop. Don’t really want to install god knows what surveillance crap on there but hey, not my property so fuck it. It’s not like they haven’t already breached our entire organization with this shitty software. I wouldn’t trust it but again, not my call. I already took the training course last spring, but I’ve been putting off scheduling the exam because I can’t stand reading the intentionally confusing jargon and nested, byzantine multi-level definitions of incredibly samey-sounding concepts. But alas, now I’ve officially run out of time on the test voucher I got last year. So I had to begrudgingly schedule the exam for the level 1 or whatever it was called for next week. I had the training a year ago as stated, but I doubt I’d remember any more had it been yesterday: the lecturer was absolute dogshit. It was in it’s entirety just a 2-day slog of him reading out poorly made powerpoint slides and me dozing off and leafing through the mock exams. It was the last thing I did before going on summer vacation last year. It sucked ass.  So, as all good students do, I procrastinated until the last possible moment, and then started looking around the peoplecert website yesterday for the actual course materials. And holy fucking shit you guys, what shifty anti-user nonsense their little course book app is! It’s a characteristically clunky browser-based “ebook reader” that allows you to add bookmarks and highlights and annotations in limited capacity. It’s pretty bog-standard features-wise, but what really pissed me off about it was how it fucks with page printing in a really underhanded way. I usually print any longer reading materials out, partly because I can’t stay on task when reading off a computer screen, and partly because I just like it better that way. So I print my reading materials liberally, that’s why I bought the stupid laser printer after all. And let me tell you, this company fucking hates the fact that browsers let you print web pages out. There’s an in-app print to pdf prompt, sure. But this is actually a trap designed for maximum frustration. The in-app print option arbitrarily restricts printing to 2 pages at a time. There’s a 40-60s “progress bar” before the download starts (as expected, this is complete bullshit, it only sends a request for the pages after the timeout has elapsed.) The printed pages are unnecessarily rendered into incredibly poor quality .png with impairingly large and up-keyed incrimination-focused watermarks all across. Judging by what I gleamed from the http requests made, there’s a hidden cap on activating this “print” feature of a 100 activations, and this isn’t disclaimed, so you might spend hours trying to laboriously print out what you need to read, only for it to tell you to go eat a dick 90% through the book. In short, it’s the worst print button the world has ever known. I hate this print button with great passion. So, I figured, fuck that. I’ve used a browser before, I’ll just print from the browser prompt on every chapter (the app loads the book into view chapter by chapter) and that’s that. Well, not so fast! The browser’s print preview just shows a blank page with a shit-eating little <p>don’t you know it’s impossible to print html?!? what are you even doing you dog-brained fuckstick, now go use our awesome print feature little donkey</p> (paraphrasing only slightly) plastered on top.

Fuck me, these people really don’t want people reading their garbage book, huh.

Ok. Let’s dig a tiny bit deeper, what is it doing here?

It turns out that the app registers a few event handlers for the beforeprint event, so that when you open the browser’s print dialog, it can remove and re-add the main content iframe. That in turn displays only their little passive-aggressive message, until some logic clears it a moment later, and the actual chapter becomes visible. Of course, the browser’s print dialog tries to print the current state of the page, and only captures the single paragraph that is visible at that moment, hence the preview from before.

Well, that’s annoying and profoundly anti-user. Let’s continue. Eventually they have to give my browser workable markup in order to display this stupid thing, it’s just a matter of digging.

It turns out the chapters are rendered via two nested iframes (some other dickish obfuscation scheme I’d assume), so I grab the inner one and quickly look over the markup. Yup, fantastic, the buck stops here. I can just open the src= of the inner iframe in a new tab and use devtools to drop a few fuckery-inducing script tags and the style tag that hides the page contents initially. A presto, the chapter is suddenly entirely printable with minimal hassle! Someone really should let these people know that it’s actually not that hard to let their users print out this material. In fact it takes some pretty grifty fuckery to screw with a basic browser feature in this way! Anyway I didn’t actually read a goddamn word of the material because I was so pissed off about this comprehensively wrong-headed approach to basic accessibility. But I did manage to download and re-collate the stupid book into a single file today, which was naturally a lot more fun than reading their godawful business management wank, so all in all a decent day of “work”. At least I’ll have the materials fucking accessible for the inevitable round 2 after I botch this stupid exam.

[thera-daydreams]

PLUS ONE

》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《

[Maliksi x Reader]

📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.

📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃

(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?

》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《

Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰

Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘

There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕

The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.

"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.

Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.

"Go on."

"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"

"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.

"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."

"Uh-huh."

You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"

The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.

"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"

"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."

It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.

"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."

The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."

Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).

"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"

He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."

"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"

"Heh. Whatever you want to think."

Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?

It Was Always You by Maroon 5.

Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.

In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.

Best Friend by Rex Orange County.

Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.

"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"

Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.

"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."

》》》

"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"

If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.

When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.

He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.

"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."

"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.

Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).

You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."

"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.

"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"

"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."

You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."

"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."

You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"

"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"

"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."

"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.

"Oh my God..."

Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).

"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.

Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."

Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"

"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.

"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).

The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.

"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"

"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.

"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."

They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.

"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."

"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"

"Ge. Without question."

Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.

"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"

"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."

"Do you want kids? How many?"

"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"

"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"

Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.

"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.

"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.

He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.

"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."

With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.

The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."

Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.

Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.

"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.

"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.

"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."

Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)

》》》

"Smile for the picture!"

You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).

"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"

"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."

"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."

It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.

"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"

And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.

"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.

"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.

You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"

"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.

"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"

Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."

"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."

Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."

Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.

"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."

》》》

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.

"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"

"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.

"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."

More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.

"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"

"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?

"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.

"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."

"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."

"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."

Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.

You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."

When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.

《《《

"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."

"Good. Thanks."

"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."

"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."

The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."

》》》

Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.

《《《

"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."

"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"

"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."

The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?

"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.

"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"

Maliksi hummed, "Basta."

》》》

You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.

That someone being you. Most likely.

"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.

"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"

Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.

Ah, what a wonderful evening.

Sike!

Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.

... Wait, leaves and flowers?

Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."

What just happened?

"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"

Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.

"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."

See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.

"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.

"Ready na ready!"

"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"

"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.

"3, 2, 1, go!"

There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!

The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.

Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?

Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.

You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.

Son of a—

"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"

The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).

"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?

The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.

You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!

"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."

"What is it?"

"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???

The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?

"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.

He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?

Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.

He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.

Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.

Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.

To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.

His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!

Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.

"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.

You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.

"Higher! That's an order!"

Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.

Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.

"Higher! Higher!"

The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"

Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.

"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."

With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.

Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.

"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"

You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.

You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.

》》》

You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.

"Mal?" you finally spoke up.

"... Hmm?"

"Ano tayo?"

"Whatever you want us to be."

Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.

"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.

"Yes. I do."

"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.

"..."

Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.

Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.

"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.

You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."

"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."

"Ah." He swayed you gently.

"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"

"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."

You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."

"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.

"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."

The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"

"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"

Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"

"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"

He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.

"You're missing one more title."

"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"

"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.

The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.

All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.

Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.

Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.

Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.

Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie

[nikosheba]

Marco -> Jake????

Oh my god where do i start i'm sorry this is gonna get long

One: young teens in the 90s who joke constantly about being in love with their best friends almost never grew up to be Completely Straight (if you are a teen who jokes constantly about being attracted to, being married to, and being in love with your best friend, just gotta say, start examining that now, it'll save you time). I'm compiling a giant text doc of snippets where Marco makes Very Funny Jokes about how into Jake he is (saying he gets all tingly when Jake takes charge, pretending they're married, asking if Jake has a kiss for him, calling him, "Hey, Handsome!" my folder is actually getting huge). If you made dozens of public jokes about how extremely into your best friend you were and you are at least 30 years old and you ARE completely straight now, let me know. (only olds!!! if you're born after 1990 life is legitimately different for you!!! seriously!!!! I'm not saying queer kids now have it easy but It Was Different!!!!)

Two: Marco joins the war for Jake. Marco goes on the Rachel for Jake. Marco's entire reason for making all the biggest choices in his life that will destroy him are for Jake. He even says in #15 that his entire identity is the funny and smart one who would follow Jake anywhere without blinking. Every other character has a crisis of wondering whether they should actually follow Jake! Cassie, his girlfriend, goes against his orders when Tom grabs the morphing cube (50). Rachel goes off on her own (37). Tobias loses faith in Jake completely and sees him as a manipulator (by 33, again in 43, completely after the war). Ax disobeys and incapacitates him when he thinks he has a good reason (52). Marco never does. He'll sneak around or try to weasel out of stuff, but he never has a moment where he loses faith in Jake. Even at the end, Jake goes around asking everyone to follow him - except Marco. He already knows Marco will follow him. He even tells Cassie that he doesn't have to ask, he knows Marco will follow him. Ouch!

Three: Marco aggressively pursues girl after girl after girl but he doesn't actually care about any of them. He deliberately chooses the most un-gettable girl around ( Marci, the "prettiest girl in school," Rachel, Jeanne, etc.), and if they ever DO show interest back, he gets nervous and tanks whatever it is (falling asleep on his symphony date in #25, dropping the eagerness in MM4, immediately turning around and joking to Jake as soon as Jeanne rejects him then never mentioning it again during the months they're on the ship, as if he's done his performative part and that's over with).

Four: Just to be clear: I very much headcanon Marco as not being entirely aware of this aspect of himself during the series. I could go either way on whether he's figured it out about himself by the time they get on the Rachel. I absolutely do hc Jake as being sadly 100% straight, which is a pretty rare headcanon for me to have about anyone, fictional or nonfictional lmao. (I'm also an enormous fan of Jake/Cassie, this isn't me saying Jake/Marco is my ship, but I absolutely, completely do believe that Marco --> Jake is a thing). There's also the fact that he already dealt with a HUGE loss of status - specifically, he went from "having the perfect family" and "living almost next door to Jake" to living in an apartment in the bad part of town. He's already gone from "the same social rank as Jake" to "significantly lower," and acknowledging there's something else about him that would demote him again in the same way? That would be terrifying.

Five: I'm just going to say: Look at these two descriptions from #5:

[image ID: Two screenshots of The Predator, Animorphs #5. The first one reads: "Jake is my best friend, even though, unfortunately, he is kind of a pain sometimes. He's one of those serious-type guys. You say the word "responsibility" and he snaps to attention. He's the kind of guy who always seems like he's bigger than he actually is. That's because he has that whole "I'm in charge, and you can trust me" thing going on. He has sensible brown hair, and trustworthy brown eyes, and one of those confident chins. He also has a great sense of humor and is very smart, and I would trust him with my life any day, any time, not that I would ever tell him that." The second image reads: "Rachel is Jake's cousin, and a total babe who, unfortunately, is also totally insane. See, somehow, underneath all that perfect hair and perfect teeth, there's this lunatic Amazon warrior-queen, just fighting to get out. Here's what Rachel'll say whenever we decide to do something so dangerous it makes you want to wet yourself: "I'm in! Let's go! Let's do it!" End Image ID]

I'm just saying. Which Berenson does it sound like he's really into?

Six: I'm projecting! I was a queer kid in the 90s who was in love with my best friend and I'm completely projecting! Because it genuinely looks like Marco is going through all the same things I went through!

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz