#this was a bitch and a half to edit so if this post flops I WILL cry

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

I watched Gummy cooks ramen and thought 'this got Valerie Adapting to Being Poor vibes'

so of course I had to do this

[blkkizzat]

⋆༺𓆩𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙅𝙅𝙆 𝙈𝙚𝙣 𓆪༻⋆

18+ Only - Minors DNI Kinks: Boob job, Riding, Edging, Sadism/Darcryphilla, Overstimulation, Double Penetration/Cockwarming A/N: So I am a flop and I went out this weekend and now I have homework to do so I couldn't finish my first Kinktober fic on time but hopefully by this Weds! I did want to post SOMETHING for the 1st day of Kinktober so I hope this suffices! This isn't officially apart of my Kinktober Thrilling Ghouls & Smooth Criminals but will add this to the bottom of the list as a bonus! WK: 2.1k Song Inspo: Monster - Lady Gaga (slightly) Slightly black fem coded but no descriptors

Edit - 11/1: The Trick or Treat Anthology or Halloween Fluff with JJK men is now up as a part 2!

Enjoy!

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Gojo: Tittyfucking

He might be one of the most powerful sorcerers ever and fight curses more terrifying than anything a Hollywood writer can imagine but that doesn’t mean he still isn’t going to scream like a bitch at the tinniest jump scare.  

You watch horror movies with your boyfriend Gojo so he can comfort you but you end up being the one holding on to him.

You suspect at times though he plays it up a bit, just so he can lay his head on your soft tits and rub his face in between them when a “scary part” comes on.

Your suspicions are confirmed when his hands slip up your shirt and pushes up your bra to cup your tits.

“Aw come, on babe let me just play with them a little– they’re like stress balls.” This always results in him somehow convincing you to let him straddle you. Gojo is placing his already-dripping-and-hard cock between your tits even before half the movie is over. “Aw, come on pretty girl, I’m so close! Open up that tight little mouth for me wide like you scream when a scary part comes on.” He groans out as he fucks himself between your soft tiddies. “You mean the way you scream Satoru!?” you retort rolling your eyes.  Clearly you haven't learned much Gojo thinks. Your slick mouth gets you into trouble frequently with him and you are quickly silenced when he reaches back and shoves 3 long fingers in your dripping cunt. Your pussy tightens as his fingers continue to bully themselves deeper thrusting in time with his hips into your breasts. AHHH! SHIIIIIIIT TORU, F-FUCK! “No sweet girl, I mean the way you screamed just now.” Gojo says smugly taking advantage of your scream to bust ropes of his hot seed on your tongue.

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Nanami: Riding

Nanami loves to do things you like to do to make you happy. He even will sit through one of your trashy horror movies without complaint.  

Although he might end up reading a novel or the paper after 15-20 minutes, he will never miss a chance to give you reassuring kisses to the temple or a rub on your lower back whenever you get scared. 

However you can’t watch horror movies with him because you are actually the one always distracted by him.

The way his handsome face looks utterly uninterested in the movie other than an arched brow on occasion but still is still sitting here for you and even makes sure to take care of you is too sexy to you.

So sexy you slowly become less interested in whatever the hell you were watching and more needy for him to pay attention to you. 

This always results with you bouncing in his lap midway through. “What about your monster movie Y/N?” Nanami questions you amused. His voice has an air teasing concern. Your mouth goes slack as drool and moans spill from your lips, you can’t form a reply. You just lean to bury your head into his neck wrapping your arms around him holding on. When you tire yourself like this, Nanami assists in you riding him as his hands grip your soft waist. He brings you up to his tip almost pulling out of you completely before he forcibly drives you further back down onto his dick. You bottom out on him every time your hips come down on his lap, you’re practically screaming at this point. “Nothing more monstrous than Daddy’s cock stretching this tight cunt full, isn't that right doll?” Nanami coos in your ear.

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Toji: Edging 

Yeah you’ve just gotten to the point where you don’t even put on a movie to watch when Toji is over. 

His attention span for it is zero as nothing scares his ass ever so the opening credits aren’t even over before he already has his hand down your pants.

Toji lazily plays with your clit and teases your pussy with his fingers while you try and fail miserably to ignore him enough to watch your movie. 

You pouted at him as you really wanted to watch your favorite horror movie tonight!

However by the 20 minute mark you are now begging him to let you come.  

“Nah, baby see this is the good part.” Toji says, smirking into the back of your neck. Toji has not a single fucking clue what’s happening in the movie he just wants to teach you a lesson.  He sucks on the back of your neck hard enough to leave a mark, making you moan. However, you are still left unsatisfied. Just when you think the burning between your legs will consume you he resumes digging his thick fingers into your guts. Toji knows your insides so well he knows how your pussy feels the moment before your body will release sweet toe-curling-bliss and his hands come to a complete stop again. “Daddy, Puh-leaseee!” You beg with tears in your eyes as you lean your head back to pout at him. You grab the hand in your cunt to try to force him to move again to no avail. “Not a chance, brat. You wanted to watch this shitty ass movie so bad. So we are going to watch the entire fucking thing before I let you come Y/N.” "What are we even watching– " Toji grabs the remote and the overlay pops up. "Oh Alien? Yeah, you picked a long one this time slut, buckle up."

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Choso: Overstimulation

Choso’s edgy emo ass is more than happy to watch horror movies with you. 

However due to his curse abilities, Choso is constantly pointing out the technical feasibility of the movie so much it ruins it for you. 

Don't let it be a slasher movie as Choso is non-stop critiquing “That blood spray pattern isn’t realistic” and “Did you know you could lose up to 40% of your blood?” 

You end up being so annoyed with your forensic encyclopedia boyfriend you grab his face to kiss him in order to stop his ranting.

Choso ends up repentant as the death painter comes to the realization he forgot himself again and ends up spoiling yet another scary movie for you.

Choso hates upsetting his princess so he always ends up trying to make it up to you. Truly, just shutting the hell up and watching the movie would be enough for you. Yet that wasn’t good enough repentance for Choso and as a result you ended up face down on the sofa while he ate you out from the back.  A true munch to the core this man was a messy eater. Tongue, lips, nose all up in your cunt. Slurping, lapping, nibbling– Choso kept his face in your pussy gobbling up your juices like he hadn’t consumed any liquid in days. He once remarked your pussy tasted more refreshing than water. You would wonder when the man even took time for a breath if he didn’t have you squirting to the point of mind numbing overstimulation, your legs shaking and chest heaving. “Keep those hips up Y/N baby, I’m not done apologizing.”   He slaps your ass and is so transfixed by how your pussy dribbles out a lil more squirt he does it again, returning his mouth to your cunt to suck out more fluids.  “FuckFuck I- F-uck… I f-forgive you C-Choso damnit -OH!,” you babbled and came on his tongue again for the umpteenth time that night.  "That's it baby, keep being messy on my face yeah? Let me show that nasty lil slit how sorry I am, 'kay?" Completely pussy drunk Choso sounded deranged. This man was going to completely dehydrate you before the night was over. 

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Geto: Sadism/Darcryphilla 

Geto is probably the easiest one to watch horror movies with by far. He actually is amused by them and how bad they all are.

He will let you lay reclined on him and run his fingers through your hair absentmindedly giving you a scalp massage.

The big problem here though is that your squeals and yelps of fear make his dick throb.

Even better if you get so scared there's tears that start falling. He wont be able to stop his hard dick from straining against the fabric of his pants.

Geto loves to hear you cry out so much that if the movie isn’t scary enough he had been so inclined on occasion to release a relatively harmless, yet gruesome looking, curse to pop up behind the TV. He would wait for a suspenseful part to really give you a fright and start the waterworks.

Although as much as he loves the sound of your cries there’s a sound he loves even more.

“F-Fuck, you hear her princess?” Geto is ruthless when he is pussydrunk and he makes you hold your legs wider for better access as he roughly splits open your cunt in a mating press.  Your pussy is a gooey mess as you cream around him from what has to be the 5th time that night. In your own cockdrunk stupor you wonder how long he has been pumping into you and filling you up now.  Is the movie over?  But you can’t see anything as his long hair and dark robes dangle open around you. You also can’t hear anything except for the obscene squelch of fluids gushing out of your cunt. All you can do is hold your legs and take Geto’s assault on your body until he had his fill of you. “Sugu–” you sobbed in protest but he cut you off. “Shhh, Y/N quiet while she’s talking to me–” He reaches down grabbing your soaked and discarded panties before balling them up. Geto pushed them into your mouth, muffling your cries as thick tears seeped down your face.  “Awe, baby I love you… but I only want to hear from her right now. Shit, this filthy pussy is a real scream queen.”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Sukuna: Double Penetration/Cockwarming

Yeah he is straight up the worst to watch with. 

He will most definitely ridicule you and make you feel like an idiot when you ask him to watch a scary movie of all things with you. 

“Oh my ditzy lil’ slut wants to see something scary?” No, you remind him you do NOT want to find some random sorcerers just to see just how quickly and in how many different ways his Malevolent Shrine domain could kill someone.

If you pout enough though he eventually relent. On his terms.

Sukuna lets you know if you get what you want, he gets what he wants too.

What does Sukuna want? He wants you double stuffed and dumb on his cocks, of course. Your cunt and your ass are both stretched to their limits from his huge twin cocks in his True Form. Sukuna tells you mockingly long as you kept sitting nice ‘n pretty for him, he would watch the movie with you. “Hmmmrghhhh”, you moan as your eyes roll back into your head and your body trembles. It’s hard to even breathe when you are this full of him. You feel as if his dicks are reaching up into your throat as you choke for air. Winded from just sitting on him, the gravity alone had you cockdrunk on him almost instantly as you felt his four hands everywhere along your body. You gasp out loud when you hear him laugh and the hardy vibrations from his chest travel straight into your pussy. You clench and cream around his cocks. Not even his huge cocks could plug you up enough to keep from dripping a big giant wet spot onto your sofa that he definitely wont be helping you clean up later. “HA! Brat, you see that fucking loser who cried ‘I’ll never leave you’ then his head flew off two seconds later? What a dumbfuck.”  Scary movies were like comedies to The King of Curses.  He slaps your thigh for emphasis. Sukuna is both equally entertained by how stupid the movies humans called 'horror' are as well as you trying to keep from blacking out on his cocks. An hour in, you were doing so well he smirked. “Brat!” Sukuna growled when you didn’t answer him. You were supposed to be watching the fucking movie.  “Come on slut, pay attention" he taps your cheek (lighter than you expect) as you gurgle back in response, completely gone. "Don't cry so hard for me to watch next time brat if y'er gonna tap out like this just from sitting on some cocks.”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

A/N: Reblog or comment and tell me which JJK man you'd watch with. Likes are appreciated as well!

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Millie Bright x Reader

Part One - It’s the Shirt, Isn’t It?

Posted: 08/04/23, Edited: 23/09/23

With Millie still living at Rachel’s house after moving out of a toxic relationship and you barely at your own home since becoming Rachel’s girlfriend, the three of you were constantly together - it wasn’t just Millie and Rachel anymore; it was Millie, Rachel and (y/n). You worked from home and in between went to both of their games, your friends visited every other weekend and all your families came last week for a BBQ. The last few weeks had been so full on for the girls with Champions League, FA Cup, regular league games and the impending England camp. There had been injuries in both squads making the players that weren’t injured work even harder and the girls were exhausted. Today was a rest day and with nothing planned you all snuggled up on the sofa to binge watch murder documentaries on Netflix.

Realising you didn’t have a clean shirt to wear to Rachel’s Villa game tomorrow you started to load the washing machine before flicking the kettle on to make the teas, swanning around the kitchen gracefully someone couldn’t help but feel envious.

“Yknow, nobody but my parents have worn my shirt in the stands, Levi never did” Millie started to daydream, “that’s because he’s a jerk” Rachel scoffed as you asked why from the kitchen. You couldn’t imagine a good enough reason for anyone dating a sports person not to wear their partner’s shirt. “He said it wasn’t masculine to wear it” Millie rolled her eyes as you screwed up your face in disbelief of the answer she gave. You offered to wear her shirt at the next game but that wasn’t good enough for the blonde who now had a face like thunder thinking about Levi again. “That doesn’t really count though does it, it’s not someone that loves me and wants to be seen supporting me” she said sadly, this time you were the one scoffing at her! “Excuse you bitch?! I love you! You’re my girlfriend’s best friend, you’re one of my best friends now too and you’re the defender of absolute dreams! Why wouldn’t you want me supporting you?” you acted dramatically heartbroken. Rachel over exaggerated her surprise at your statement like you’d forgotten she’s also a defender when she wants to be, noticing her heightened facial expression before adding “I think you can manage a night without me wearing shirt babe” flirtingly. “You underestimate me” she chuckled under her breath, “you’re not jealous are you?” you asked kinda loving the fact she’s territorial over you. “I’m joking!” she burst through the torture of being tickled by you, “I think it would be really cute, I love that you two love each other as much I love you both” wrapping her arms around you and squeezing her favourite people into her. “When it’s your next Chelsea game we’ll both wear your name on our shirts” Rachel added. “You guys are the best, your relationship is adorable I wanna be a part of it” she slumped back, happy that she has the cutest friends yet still sad that she’s single again. Her statement made you and Rach look at each other confused, “girl, you practically are!” shouting at her in unison making you all laugh.

The next week you went to the Chelsea game, Rach had training but met you at half time and watched as the blues bought home the win. Arriving home you slipped your jeans off at the door and went to put the kettle on knowing this household runs on tea. You usually walked around with no trousers on so this wasn’t anything new and nothing out of the ordinary for you regardless of who was home. The other two flopped onto the sofa where they were talking quietly.

“I see why you like her wearing your shirt so much Rach” Millie said candidly as they both gazed at you tiptoeing to try and reach the top shelf for the sugar. Rach watched as your shirt rose up exposing the tattoo on your hip “she’s so hot in’t she, even with your shirt on” she smiled.. but hearing Millie hum in agreement made Rachel turn to look her suddenly. “Do you fancy my girlfriend Mills?” she questioned her bestie, “I think.. I might…” Millie said honestly but quietly questioning what was happening inside her stomach as it fluttered uncontrollably. “I always knew there was a bit of gay in you!” Rachel said sitting up excitedly. “I’m not gay! (Y/n) is the only girl I’ve ever felt attracted to!” the conversation started going in a completely different direction to what Rachel expected. “That’s how it starts” she said cheekily, “you definitely chose a good’un for once Rach, you’re so perfect together” still both their eyes were firmly set on the back of you - admiring the way you’d gotten distracted and was now cleaning the kitchen. “She’s beautiful, hilarious, she’s our biggest cheerleader, makes the best tea in the world and her arse in those pants man” Rachel continued listing the things she loves about you while biting her knuckle in admiration for the woman she calls hers. “If you wanted to.. yknow.. do anything with her, I think she’d be up for it” your girlfriend was now becoming your pimp. “I can’t do that Rach she’s your girlfriend!” Mills voice raised slightly but you were none the wiser in your own little world, “mate, I know how much you both love me, if you’re questioning I’d rather you do it with someone you’re comfortable with. You’re part of our relationship regardless.” The conversation suddenly went silent as you finally made your way over with the teas, plopping yourself in the corner and draping your legs over Rachel. Noticing the silence you asked what they were talking about but Millie looked away, raising your suspicions. Rachel’s hand glided up your leg “Millie fancies you” she said bluntly which took you by surprise, your eyes jumping from both of their faces waiting for the punchline, “how do you feel about that?” your girlfriend sounded genuinely intrigued. “It’s the shirt isn’t it?” your head tilted towards Millie who’s cheeks had now turned a bright shade of red. “You footballers are all the same! If I knew this is how you get a girlfriend I would have done it years ago!” you laughed, still not believing what conversation you’d walked in on. “There’s just something about a woman wearing your name, it’s fucking hot!” Rach squeezed your thigh, “yeah you don’t let me forget it babe” holding under her chin kissing her cheeky smile. “So.. how did that conversation go?” inquisitive as to why Millie still hasn’t said a word or even looked at you which was highly peculiar. “I said you’d probably be down if she wanted to” Rachel shrugged seemingly unbothered by the entire situation. “Well.. you’re not wrong” you said honestly which made Millie’s head lift a little like she was listening intently. “How would you feel about that though?” you asked your girlfriend with furrowed brows, still unsure if she was being serious or not. “I suggested it! How do you feel about that?” she threw the question straight back at you. You questioned how to respond thus not to jeopardise your relationship with Rachel and before answering you asked for them both to explain the conversation they had and how they both feel about it so you could tailor your response appropriately. Of course you would jump Millie in a heartbeat but you didn’t want it to ruin your relationship or their friendship. Rachel insisted she was okay with it and Millie seemed serious about kissing not just any girl but you in particular.

You were ready to give them your answer after you made everyone pinky promise that it wouldn’t change anything. “Okay so the day I met you Rach you know that my phone wallpaper was the both of you, which is weird cause now it’s all three of us” smiling as you lit up your phone to show them what they already knew. “I fancied you both so much! I never thought I’d meet any of you let alone having you fall in love with me” touching Rachel’s face as you said this. “Millie, you’re fucking hot and I fancy the pants off you so if you’re sure you both wanna do this then I’m down for anything” the penny dropped the second those words left your mouth. “See I told ya! There’s not much my girl wouldn’t do. As long as you don’t start a secret relationship behind my back!” she laughed pointing her index finger at you both threateningly. “You two are the best” the taller blonde pouted, “I wish I had a relationship like yours, not many people would let me experiment with their girlfriend. I probably won’t even feel anything but I need to figure out what my brain is doing. It’s all so confusing” Millie said as her forehead met the palm of her hand. “We all go through this Mill, we’re practically already a throuple anyway so kissing me isn’t gonna change anything” you let out a light hearted chuckle. “That is true though, we do everything together, you’re literally already part of our relationship” Rach leant over squeezing her thigh as you took her hand. “Millie Bright, will you go on a date with me?” you blushed as she nodded gently in agreement.

You said goodnight to each other and snuggled down in your beds giving you a chance to talk to Rachel alone about what the hell had just happened. What if it’s not just a kiss, would she kiss Millie, she’s always wanted a threesome, but with her best friend? You were now overthinking everything but reminded yourself that most girls kiss their friends, you’ve kissed your besties and know that your sister has talked about kissing hers too so it’s not really that weird… is it?

Part Two - Three Isn’t a Crowd 🔞

[prynnehesters]

drag race s15 is too much for me. there's too many queens and like, they're eliminating them, but like, im not feeling it?

there's 16 people that we have to focus on and legit like

they make you think that it's a split premiere but it's not and they make all 16 of them work together and then it's chaos

and the opening number they did was like, too many people on one stage

more than half the people did "lip sync performance to their own track"

then like, 4 people did lip sync + dance to song that isn't theirs

the other 3, one was a comedy ballet performance (worked), then one did live singing (flopped), and then irene did a comedy routine which is hilarious is person but rupaul didn't think it was funny. but then again, i feel like they don't want a "weird/alt" queen to win the season, considering willow won last season. but like, i love irene so much lmao. she did have a good showing despite being there for 1 episode

next episode seems to be a improv/queens make the script challenge so hopefully it's good?

they're also gonna do a 14 person snatch game like...10 people is already too much. i'd say 6 is too few, the sweet spot is 7-9 people

anyways, my thots currently TM:

i would not say social media queens are "bedroom queens" but like, the way they treat social media queens is weird because some are more detached from reality than others. but idk, everyone has different skill sets

the first lip sync was fine

idk in general i feel like there's too many people to keep up w and too many personalities and i just idk

im not a fan of the talent shows being on both all stars and regular seasons as the first challenge. i want it to be changed up. i'd rather them do something else be it a sewing challenge or a write/choreo challenge. variety is key

i also want more variety in talent shows cuz 3 bitch tracks in a row gets old

yeah um, idk. i'll post what i think the edit will give people now:

princess poppy- the show doesn't seem to be interested in her yet. she might be the next out

amethyst- might shine next week or will continuously fight for her life

malaysia- i like her, but she might be "too quiet" so they'll get rid of her. her entrance look was cute

sasha colby- too good for this show, will 100% make it to the finale

mistress isabelle brooks- i love her, i feel like she knows who she is and i respect her. out of drag she looks like hoagie from day of the tentacle

anetra- quieter queen but like, she is sharp. i feel like she'll make it past the halfway point

marcia x3- im not feeling her yet but like, she's either going to do well and not be praised (no wins) or be overlooked or be criticised for her clothing choices

aura mayari- they will probably make her a lip sync assassin

jax- the way she performs is NUTS. idk if they will throw her in the bottom if they need a good time

luxx noir london- delusional but she's young so. idk i followed her during the pandemy and she's fun online and she's a good performer. i hope she gets a fun edit

loosy laduca- peak mom energy. idk if she'll pick up or be out soon. she gives me early out energy

sugar and spice- feel like a unit but i feel like they'll make them lip sync against each other. i feel like spice will make it farther.

robin fierce- she's attractive in drag but she feels like a non entity here. i feel like she will go soon

salina estitties- will probably be a confessional queen. probably will make it halfway

i feel like currently the top 4 will be sasha colby, jax, mistress isabelle brooks, and luxx noir london. the next to go will either be robin fierce or princess poppy. watch me be totally wrong

[k3rm1e]

hi love,

what about a short reader, like really short (i’m 5’0 lol) meeting ranboo irl for the first time. they get kinda intimidated by the height difference and their love language is physical touch so once they do feel better standing near ranboo it’s like the exact opposite, so now they’re all over him as if he was monkey bars.

also if you do end up using this could you tag me? i really wanna read it as soon as it comes out♥️

playground

hi love,

what about a short reader, like really short (i’m 5’0 lol) meeting ranboo irl for the first time. they get kinda intimidated by the height difference and their love language is physical touch so once they do feel better standing near ranboo it’s like the exact opposite, so now they’re all over him as if he was monkey bars.

also if you do end up using this could you tag me? i really wanna read it as soon as it comes out♥️

hi!! sorry this has taken a while, i am shit at scheduling (like really bad lmao) but i hope you like it anyways!!

cw: cursing 

playground:

  sitting in the airport, you waited for ranboo and his parent’s to pick you up. the california heat was absolutely miserable, burning you up. everyone in the airport seemed miserable, covered in the slick of sticky sweat. leaning your head over the back of your chair, you stared at the fluorescent lights.

  seeing someone shouting your name you picked your head up, only to flop it back down. how fucking tall was that kid…? would he crush you? stomp on you like a large goblin man? take you with his long arms and kidnap you, like slenderman? seriously, what the fuck were his parents feeding that kid????

  after a few more seconds of indulging your strange thoughts of the possible cryptids ranboo may be related to ((mothman possibly??) please?), he walked over and stuck his head over yours.

  “hello!” he stared at you from above, your brain racing with ‘tall man… tall man scary. but tall man friend…? confuse brain: ACTIVATE’ .

  “uh, hello ranboo.” you went to pick your head up from over the back of your chair, clashing skulls with ranboo. tall man = threat. 

  sitting on the floor you held your head, wishing you could simply evaporate in the sky and then be rained down on the earth. maybe droplet-you would land somewhere colder, like greenland. or alaska. knowing your luck, you’d probably enter the fiery pits of a volcano. maybe a desert. life is a misery of pain cursing you to feel the heat radiating of the sun. your existence was the explosion of one of the endless stars occupying outer space.

  “uh, you okay there? you’ve been sitting there for a few minutes now.” when you didn’t respond, ranboo made a confused noise. “i didn’t concuss you, did i?”.

  “no, no you did not.” finally coming back to earth, you looked at ranboo. sure, you had known he was 6’6'' but the knowledge of his height was not the same as seeing him in person. you would just barely reach his height if you sat on the shoulders of a small child. even then, you would still be shorter, as the small child would be flailing around. heh. small children are funny.

  standing up, you walked next to ranboo. with any other person you would be running to hug them. you had finally met one of your best friends, why weren’t you bursting at the seems. the simplest explanation for that is that he is so much taller when your next to him. thought he could crunch you like goblin earlier? wrong. you are jack and he is the beanstalk.

  while he moved his arms for a hug, you patted his arms in a way that felt cryptic. ranboo, already accepting your strangeness, patted you back. after the arm-patting-friendship-initiation ceremony,  you walked to the car. time to leave the stuffy airport.

  throughout the entire car ride, you sat as far from ranboo as you could. when he slid closer to you to show you something funny, whether it was on tiktok or twitter, you tried to press yourself into the car door. yeah, you might’ve been over reacting but who cares? he was a foot and a half taller than you, were you supposed to welcome him with open arms? if anything, it's good you were afraid. it means your survival systems were still (somehow) intact and working properly.

  once you arrived at the house, ranboo gave you your very own tour. within this tour, a pool was shown. a pool that would become your very new home. it was already decently late, which caused the enforcement of sleep. while you each went to your own rooms, you snuck out. pool time, as an escape from the blistering heat.

  in the dark of the night, you jumped in the pool, ignoring the noise you made. finally, a reprieve from the merciless, miserable heat. “finally, sweet, sweet, cool water.” you let our a pleased sigh, reclining in the pool, floating on the surface and lightly kicking your feet.

  with a quick end to your relaxation period, ranboo put his head through his window. “why are you in the pool?? its like two in the morning??” he stared down at you and you stared back. subconsciously, you moved further away from the house.

  “... hot. i wanted a reprieve from the rise of hell.”

  ranboo laughed and yelled back to you. “yeah, i expected that. i’ll be down soon.”

  you yelled back a “wha-!” but he had already moved away from the window. he was coming down there to what? join you in the pool with his tall-ness?

  you heard the back door slide open and out came ranboo. it seemed he also did not have the energy to change, both of you in normal clothing. Running torwars the pool, he jumped in, covering you in water.

  “oh my god! jesus! why is it so cold?!?” his head popped up and he was trying to push all his hair out his face. while he swan towards you, you backed away. he paused. “look, i don’t know if you’re playing some prank on me or whatever, but why are you acting so scared of me? seriously, i was super excited to meet you and i understand if you’re tired, but what’s your deal right now?”.

  you stared at him in silence. breaking the awkward silence, ranboo sighed and went to leave the pool. “... you’re too tall.” you muttered.

  “what?” ranboo turned around and stared at you.

  you sighed, accepting your fate. “you’re too tall. you’re like, a whole foot taller than me.”.

  he stared at you before breaking into laughter. “are you kidding me? seriously? that is NO reason to be scared i’m not gonna hurt you.”.

  you threw your head back. “i knowwww.”.

  ranboo started dying laughing, and soon enough you joined him. breaking out in a coughing fit, you stared at him. “i know, i’m an idiot.” you moved from the corner of the pool and moved near ranboo.

  “yeah, yeah, you are.” ranboo stared laughing at you and you could see him scheming.

  “no. no. nonononononono.” ranboo picked you up and through you into the water as hard as he could. swimming up as fast as you could, you saw him grinning like a fox. “you bitch!”.

  this started a disaster, of splashing each other and throwing people in the water. grabbing pool floaties, you both fell asleep in the water.

  the next morning your behaviors were a bit different.  “ranbooooo. i’m bored. hang out with me.” laying on his floor under an air conditioner, you looked at ranboo as he was editing a new video. from the corner of your eye, you could see a phone pointing at you. he better not post anything on tiktok.

  “i’m editing.” he smiled and kept looking at the screen, ignoring you.

  “like i give a shit. let’s go out. get ice cream.”

  knowing you would never shut up, ranboo gave in to your idiocy. “alright…”.

  quickly getting up, you forced him to take you to the ice cream shop, holding his hand all the way. arriving at the shop, ranboo was forced to pay for both cones.

  smiling, you chuckled. “gold digger…” you heard him mutter.

  sitting at the benches, you leaned your head on his shoulder. “so, what caused this change in personality?” ranboo leaned his head over to look at you.

  “nghhhhh;;;;;;; no.” you laughed at him, knowing you were frustrating him.

  “so you just magically decided i could be a replacement for a playground?”

  “i just got an idea! let’s go to the park! we can play on the playground.” ranboo sighed. you were the embodiment of :3, and definitely a handful.

finally this is out!! i hope you liked this, even though its late. very late… yes! But i hope you enjoyed this. side question - what’s everyone’s favorite ice cream flavor? personally, i always get superman from ice cream shops but strawberry from cartons.

tagged ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@feverish-dove

[kzuhadovey]

i love you

character: miya atsumu x reader

type: angst

warnings: fuckboy!atsumu, no happy ending

song recommendation: i love you - billie eilish

this may seem like a happy lovey dovey fanfic but i think it’ll stab you in the guts aha- anyways sorry if this is too long, i got in the zone <3

edit: so someone requested for a part 2 to this story, so i wrote it! to read it, click here.

You were undeniably, so deeply in love. With who, you may ask? Miya Atsumu, of course. He was Inarizaki’s playboy- more like a cheaper version of Oikawa.  He was deemed Japan’s best high school setter, and many girls confessed their love to him daily. You and Atsumu were close friends- you were the manager for their volleyball team so you were surely close to all of them. But there was something about him that made you realize- you were so utterly in love. The way you would laugh a bit too hard at his jokes, and the way you stared too long at him, and the way your heart would pinch at the sight of him with other people. You hated that you felt this way- it would ruin everything if you confessed. So you suppressed these feelings, even if you knew they would all spill out eventually. 

You yawned as you walked into the Inarizaki Volleyball room, they were just about to start practice. “Good morning Y/N.” A familiar voice says, slinging their arm over your shoulder. “Good morning to you too… Atsumu.” You mutter back, zipping up your backpack. “Sorry we made you attend this early, Nationals are coming up,” Kita says. You nod and try to ignore the loud thumping of your heart as Atsumu attaches himself closer to you. “We should start practice. I’ll get your bottles ready.” You say, trying to wretch Atsumu’s arm from your shoulder. “Go practice, Tsumu. Don’t get distracted.” You manage to mutter out quickly before walking away. You can just feel the stare that Atsumu’s giving you- you’ve been ignoring him for the past week or so- a mere attempt at hiding your feelings. 

“Oi, Y/N. What are you gonna do about Atsumu?” Osamu asked nonchalantly as you stuffed a pile of celery down your throat. “What do you mean by that?” You ask, your cheeks warming up by the second. “Well shit Y/N. You blind or something?” Osamu asks, rolling his eyes. “He has an obvious crush on you.” You almost choke on your food as you process what he just said. “Crush? Me? Pfft- how?” You ask, a bit embarrassed. It wasn’t possible… or was it? “He’s touchy, he talks about you a lot, and-” “And what Osamu? He’s touchy with everyone. I bet he only says that I’m kind and all that bullshit but he doesn’t actually like me because he’s Miya Atsumu.” You snap and Osamu chuckles. “Okay geez- don’t have to get defensive,” Osamu says, a smug smile plastered on his face. “You’re so mean.” You say, a small pout on your face as you start eating your food again. Was it really that impossible for Atsumu to like you? 

atsumuu~ oi y/n. psst. y/n :0 huh what atsumuu~ you wanna sneak out? rn? y/n :0 -_- it’s like 2 am atsumuu~ yet you’re still not asleep my dear come on I’ll meet you at the park if you wanna y/n :0 you crazy bitch.

You sighed heavily- you couldn’t help but comply to Atsumu- it was something that happened every time he asked you for something. You blew softly at your cold hands as you made your way to a famous park you and the team liked to go to. The night air stabbed through your lungs as you took a deep breath and jumped over the gates, hoping that no one you knew was there. “Y/N!~” Atsumu’s voice was heard from across the small garden section, and you squinted your eyes. He looked half-asleep, but his eyes still shone as bright as ever. “Tsumu. Hey.” You said, shooting him a small smile as you made your way to him. “Look! We can sit on the swings- it looks especially pretty at night.” Atsumu said excitedly as he pointed to a pair of swings. You chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Alright then.”

You were sat on the swings, thoughts quietly running through your head as Atsumu rambled on and on about volleyball. “Y/N. Oi. Are you paying attention?” Atsumu asks, a sharp tone in his voice. You shrug away from your thoughts and smile sheepishly at Atsumu. “Sorry. I was daydreaming.” You say fixing your sitting position quickly. “Oh? Daydreaming about what, my darling?” Atsumu asks, leaning in closer. Your breath hitches at that nickname- he’s dangerously close to you- you’re pretty sure you’re about to faint at the proximity he’s in. “Nothing in particular.” You decide to mutter out, a feeling of warmth creeping in your cheeks. “Are you sure?” Atsumu asks again, and this time, his face is right above yours. You can smell him- he smelled like honeycakes and cologne. His breath is warm against yours, and if you lean in a bit more, you’re kissing. “Getting nervous, Y/N?” Atsumu chuckles lightly before pulling away, making you sigh in relief. “Shut up.”

y/n :0 tsumu tsumu tsumu are you ignoring me YOU’RE ONLINE ON IG BRO tsumuu read 

You huff angrily at your phone. So he was on Instagram and clearly texting in the team group chat but he’s ignoring you? Piece of shit, you think to yourself as you head over on Instagram in an attempt to contact him again. You’re about to click on the DM icon when something catches your eye. Atsumu posted something new. A girl clinging on his shoulder. They’re… kissing. 

“me and my girl ^__^“

Your heart nearly stops as you read over the caption again. Me and my girl. He surely meant as a friend right?- wait, they were kissing. Was this some kind of dream? Was this a joke? You choose not to like the picture and you shoved your phone away from you. Was he just playing with you? Was this all a sick, stupid game to him? You hiss quietly as you feel tears prick your eyes. You surely remembered having a connection- that night at the park. Was that nothing too?

You managed to get a bit of sleep last night- but you were still sleepy as fuck. It felt as if someone was stabbing your head over and over and the walls were closing in on you. Your eyes were still slightly red and puffy and splotches of foundation on your under-eyes were a shitty attempt at you covering up your dark eye bags. You tried your best to make it through class- it took almost all your willpower to not just flop asleep right then and there. Worse, you had volleyball practice with the boys. Today was the worst day to have volleyball practice, considering your… situation. You walked into the room with a heavy sigh and immediately sat down on one of the bleachers. Maybe Coach Kurosu could let you catch a wink of sleep. “H- Woah Y/N you look like the nun!” Osamu says once he’s seen you. You sigh, a hint of annoyance in your voice. “Just- warm-up or whatever. I’m okay.” You mutter, leaning back and snuggling into your backpack. 

“Y/N~ You look ghostly my dear.”

Your eyes shoot open at that voice. The one that’s caused you pain, agony, and the voice that made you reconsider whether you were worth anything or not. “Hey. Hello.” Atsumu called out again, waving his hand in front of your face, trying to catch your attention. “Atsumu.” You could barely speak- all of the memories were rushing to your head, and you were definitely pissed off. “Come, let’s get you some water-” “Stop, Atsumu.” He was definitely surprised at the sharp tone of your voice. “Woah- what’s got your ass today?” Atsumu asks, chuckling. “Just stop it. I’m not a game for you to play- do I look like fucking Jumanji to you?” You say, standing up. You’re fuming- an indescribable feeling coursing through your veins. “Huh? What did Osamu do to you, heh-” Atsumu reaches out to touch your shoulder but you flinch. “Stop it. Why are you doing this? Acting like you care for me and shit.” You said, packing up your bags. “But Y/N, I do care for-” “No you don't! You flirt with me all the fucking time but you don’t actually make a move on me. And don’t you think I know about your little- girlfriend?” You snapped, glaring at him. “I’m so tired of this shit.” You say, tears finally pricking your eyes. “Y/N- I- I didn’t mean it like that,” Atsumu says, panic settling in his eyes.

“No, because you meant it like that. You wanted to flirt with me, to try and confuse me, and it’s so fucking tiring because I love you!” Atsumu freezes, and the whole team’s attention is diverted to you. “It’s so tiring, trying to love you because I know you won’t love me back. Instead, you play these stupid games with me and I fucking hate it!” You shout, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks. “I love you, and I don’t want to.” You say quietly. Atsumu is baffled- he has no idea of your feelings. “Y/N-” “Please, Atsumu. Don’t talk to me anymore.” You say, heartbroken.

In the end, he complied. You’ve seen him around in the halls, and once in a while, he would glance at you. You, of course, have moved on. He wasn’t important anyway, right? You’ve seen him stare at you- for an abnormally long time, and sometimes, you’ve seen him laugh more at your jokes. He’s in love with you. But he knows, because of a simple mistake, he’ll never have you. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up together in another life.

[warrior-cats-rants-galore]

Do you have any rants and rambles on Bluestar?

BLUESTAR

Absolutely! There's so much about her that it's hard to condense into one post. Overall, I liked her to a degree.

I wished her development with Oakheart was better and that it wasn't just a one night stand. If their relationship was more fleshed out, it would better help Bluestar understand the mental anguish she went through when dumping Oakheart and her kits.

I don't blame or hate on Bluestar for not loving Thrushpelt back. It's hard to choose who you love, and you can't force someone to reciprocate feelings. I dislike when the fandom shits on her for this.

I do not think that Bluestar's actions in her super-edition were necessary. I think there could've been a way around it, such as explaining to Sunstar of the omens surrounding Thistleclaw. Sunstar was a reasonable leader, and I'm sure he'd understand. Though, I also understand why Bluestar did what she did. She was under tremendous pressure, and she felt like it was the only way.

One issue I have with Bluestar, and this is definitely the writers' fault, is her trust in Tigerclaw. It doesn't seem believable that she'd trust Thistleclaw's former apprentice who literally beat the shit out of a kitten. The writing in Bluestar's Prophecy could've portrayed Bluestar doing something to intervene. Additionally, we had Goosefeather yelling about a kitten being evil. Bluestar seemed to have some form of trust in her uncle, so why would she respect this supposedly damned kit? That's just bad writing on the Erins part, not her as a character.

If her and Tigerclaw's relationship was written better, her mental decline could've had a bigger impact. Nonetheless, I really like her downfall and its portrayal. She is angry at StarClan, but her actions to "get back at StarClan" only hurt her Clan. She didn't name Brightpaw 'Lostface' just to be an asshole. She was upset and grieving. It was something about how her name would be a reminder of StarClan's failures. I don't remember exactly, but it was lowkey sad. I also understand why she refused to give warrior names to some of the apprentices. Longtail, Darkstripe, and co. were often associated with Tigerclaw, so it's reasonable that she'd connect those dots. Unfortunately, it was at the expense of others.

Later on, she suffers character assassination like many StarClan characters. There's a prologue where she bitches about Feathertail being chosen for the journey. Why would she be concerned when Feathertail was literally trained by one of her kits?

I give her character points for AT FIRST supporting Leafpool, but then it flops in Squirrelflight's Hope. If I remember correctly, she condemns Leafpool and Squirrelflight for doing what StarClan told them to. It was the most disappointing show of hypocrisy in the books. Like, Bluestar, you had half-Clan kits, and you gave them up for your Clan. In a sense, you had Oakheart lie for you. I wish she would've argued for Leafpool and Squirrelflight rather than argue against them.

I have mixed feelings for Bluestar. She's usually a hot topic in the fandom, and I cannot pick a side.

If I missed or mixed up anything, feel free to mention/correct it! I don't mind. I haven't read the earlier books in a while, so my memory is definitely fuzzy :')

[thatringboy]

All of my other TWST HCs

Because my Twisted Wonderland Headcanons have been my most popular posts, here I am giving the mob what they want! An almost complete list of Headcanons I have about every character and house!

This is by far my longest post and it took me three days to type, so I hope you guys get a laugh out of it!

WARNING: THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS ABOUT EACH CHARACTER. IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ONE, PLEASE DON’T ATTACK ME OR OTHERS WHO SUPPORT MY HCS. JUST DON’T BE A DICK.

Heartslabyul

The word “Queen” is gender neutral

Frequently allows students from other houses to study with them

Recently expanded into two buildings dedicated just for dorms to house all of the students

Actually lots of words are gender neutral

Riddle

Does rebellious things with Trey sometimes

Actually struggled with gender for a while because of his mother and responds to all pronouns (he/she/they), but identifies as male

Sometimes uses the label “Androgynous Male”

Is attracted to Trey, but he can’t tell if it’s because of his childhood or because he genuinely likes his Vice DH

Has Tea Time TM with Vil

Abolished gender roles in NRC despite it being an all guys school

During Summer Vacation he wears jean shorts and mint green tank tops with red flip flops

Has a pet crab that is red and named “Queen” despite Riddle not knowing Queen’s gender

Queen is the mascot for Heartslabyul despite being a sea creature

We stan Queen the Crab in this house.

Trey

Enjoys breaking the rules with Riddle, even if it’s not very often

He dyed his hair green as a joke with Cater during his first year, but decided to keep it 

Has fallen for Riddle. Hard.

But between his dignity, his position and him not knowing if Riddle likes men, he won’t say anything that could ruin the friendship

Rook found out by accident and actually helps Trey try to work up the courage to ask Riddle out, but Trey always backs down

Invented a type of Tea that soaks clover leaves and it tastes like vanilla mixed with mint

Cater

#SELFIE

Not really a drama queen, but will egg on fights for views

Sometimes his clones will develop different accents and that’s how you tell them apart

Has a pansexual flag in his room

Spends more time partying in Scarabia than in Heartslabyul

Is close friends with Kalim and actually crushed on him for a bit, but got over it once he noticed the way he looks at Jamil

Actually gives good relationship advice

Deuce

Was Bi-Curious during his Pre-NRC days and actually tried to put it behind him like everything else

However, like, everyone at NRC is some flavor of gay

So he gave up on his internalized homophobia and now lives his full authentic life!

Still uses the labels Bi-Curious and Questioning and often goes to Cater for advice

But his buddies love and support him no matter what

Is a huge feminist

Cater fully believes that Deuce likes Ace, but he actually doesn’t

Deuce admits when men are attractive, no matter if it makes them uncomfortable or not

Didn’t go over well with Jack

But the two are cool now

Ace

Probably one of the straightest guys you’ll ever meet besides Rook

Actually learned what the different teas smell like so that he never messed up again

Enjoys his fights with Grim, even if Grim is a little shit

Like seriously Grim is a little flying rat shit turd fuck but that’s just my opinion

Almost never learns from his mistakes and always pays the price

Chaotic Good.

Loves going on adventures with the Prefect and Grim!

Has never gone back to the Mostro Lounge without Jack or the Prefect

Also got really into Mermaid culture and regularly goes back to the Atlantica Memorial Museum to talk with that one guard

Has memorized the script from the Little Mermaid

Can sing You Pour, Unfortunate Soul in a perfect baritone vibrato despite his high voice

Also takes singing lessons from Azul, but only if someone else is in the room with them

Savanaclaw

Throws pool parties regularly

Octavinelle is almost always invited

Magift between the two houses is insane

Leona

Raging Bisexual, need I say more?

Goes to great lengths to find loopholes and just be lazy

Also goes to great lengths to help Ruggie

Hates his brother, but loves Cheka and his sister-in-law

Can’t properly digest seafood, but eats in in front of Azul and the Leech twins just to be a bitch

Is kinda clingy

Even if he doesn’t want to, he goes to all of the Savanaclaw vs Octavinelle vs Pomfiore karaoke battles

Can’t sing for shit, but likes to watch Ruggie and Jack duet and destroy everyone

Constantly reminds Malleus about the time they swapped robes

Actually swaps clothing with Malleus quite often on purpose to see how they feel

Ruggie

A good singer

But kinda self conscious about it??

Also a Raging Bisexual

Play flirts a lot with Leona, even though they don’t like one another like that

Is FtM Transgender, fully transitioned, and wears his scarf to cover the fact that he doesn’t have much chest hair and his scars

Only Leona and Crowley know

Gets a little dysphoria because his voice is still so high and because he’s shorter than everyone in Savanaclaw, but takes one look at Riddle, Lila and Ace and forgets about it

Jack suspects, but the two make a killer duo during karaoke!

Jack

Is straight, but won’t get in your face about it

Actually learned how to become a fast swimmer just to flex on Jade and Floyd

Has memorized almost all of Heartslabyul’s rules just because he didn’t want to be disrespectful

Arm wrestles with Floyd often

Helps out in the Mostro Lounge pretty often when he’s bored

His karaoke skills are out of this world!

Also has memorized the layout for Ramshackle Dorm just so he wouldn’t get lost in there

Tsundere? Maybe.....

Knows something’s different about Ruggie, but can’t figure it out

Respects privacy like crazy

Just a cool guy to be around

Octavinelle

Hosts the karaoke battles

Now pays their employees in the Mostro Lounge

Gives free singing lessons

Azul

Choir Gay TM

Aromantic Homosexual

Constantly has Boss Bitch by Doja Cat in his head

Actually has shit handwriting and it made his Golden Contracts all the much more powerful

His handwriting is beautiful underwater, though

When he’s feeling lazy, Azul transforms into his Merman form and uses his 8 extra arms to do things for him

Has a single picture from his childhood that he has not edited (or tried to edit)

It’s of him, Jade and Floyd graduating Junior High

All three of them are linking arms and smiling brightly

It sits on his nightstand in a golden frame

Gives most of the singing lessons

But doesn’t participate in the karaoke battles

“I’ll join if Leona joins.”

Petty about the karaoke

Jade

Once swapped clothing styles with Floyd for an entire day and was just chaotic towards everyone

Does this more often now just to relieve stress

Only the Prefect could ever tell them apart

Not even Azul knew they had swapped

Is Pansexual and liked Azul during Junior High, but got over it once they started at NRC

Can scare someone so badly that they tell the truth regardless of Jade using his magic

50 students were asked who they’d rather have to fight, 42 of them said “Floyd all the way! No way am I fighting Jade!”

Was actually popular in Junior High, but turned down opportunities to be more popular to spend time with Floyd and Azul

Can cuss in 8 languages

Floyd

When he swapped clothing with Jade, he actually enjoyed being calm and responsible

Loves to do things like that for Jade

Raging Homosexual, need I say more?

His Bakugou impression is on point

There are several videos of him just standing at the end of a dark hallway laughing and whispering “Die, Deku!”

Also really likes Volleyball despite being on the Basketball team

Takes Bean Day a lot farther than it needs to be

Flirts with Riddle a lot, knowing it upsets Trey

But doesn’t know that Trey actually likes Riddle

Has sea related nicknames for everyone

Scarabia

Everyone has to help take care of Snake

Monthly competitions where Kalim hands out free vacations

The competitions involve taking care of Snake

Who is Snake? You’ll see.

Kalim

When he learned what Pansexual was, he went around Scarabia clapping pans together to come out

Cater was the one who explained it to him

Loves to party and flirt with Jamil, but can be serious if needed

Sometimes holds group therapy for his dorm residents

But also PARTY 24/7 IF IT HAS ALCOHOL WE CHUGGIN’ TONIGHT!

PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT

Named his magic carpet “Jamil Jr.”

Flexes on Azul with Jamil Jr.

Is open about his attraction to Jamil, but also respects Jamil’s personal space

He and Lila sneak out at night to mess with people

Jamil

Has a pet snake that he never named

Just calls the snake “Snake”.

When Jamil’s busy, other residents take turns taking care of Snake

There is an entire chore chart and half of the chores involve Snake

Snake isn’t even the dorm mascot, he’s just Jamil’s pet

Tsundere TM

The only reason he doesn’t accept Kalim’s professions of love is because of his family obligations to serve the Al-Asim family

Takes family and traditions very seriously

Internalized homophobia? Maybe....

Petty as well

Has poured sand into people’s shoes and hidden scorpions in beds

Pomfiore

Usually wins the karaoke battles

Unless Ruggie + Jack join

Make up tips

Vil

I’ve said most of my HCs about him

But I’ll retype them

Wine Mom TM

Musical Theatre Gay TM

Tea Time TM

Fashion Police TM

NRC James Charles

But also respective of people’s sexualities

Has poured water into people’s makeup

Has attempted to give Rook a make over, but Rook is more acrobatic then he looks

Has never actually sung in public

Likes to keep people guessing over his singing voice

Has a cherry apple tree in the school garden that he spends time every day taking care of

Runs NRC’s GSA

Rook

Heterosexual TM

Wears Doc Martens sandals with beige cargo shorts and white polo shirts when not in uniform

Can be seen back-flipping away in this outfit while Vil chases him around the dorm

Is allergic to strawberries

Epel’s bodyguard

Throws rotten fruit at people and calls it a prank

His bangs were by accident

But decided to keep them

Pretends to hunt, but can’t shoot for shit

However does go on fishing trips

Has to have some Heterosexual Hobbies TM

Epel

Is an actual Prince

Like owns land

Everyone in the dorm protects him

Is actually like Honey Senpai

Will put you in your place.

Like fr is a top.

Despite being so small

I don’t know what his sexuality would be

Probably Bisexual

Can lower is voice a lot if needed

Ignihyde

There’s magic inside of the dorm that turns all fire blue, but the fire turns back to normal once outside the dorm

Doesn’t apply to Ortho’s hair, though

Has the most LGBT residents - even more than Pomfiore surprisingly

Actually, not surprising - have you seen Disney’s Hades????

Iida

Cat-sits for Professer Trein

Everyone believes he can set his hair on fire, but he actually can’t

His hair is naturally that fire-y color

Loves to prank people, but never in person

Social Anxiety? Personified.

Before he rebuilt Ortho, Iida had a robot he controlled from his room that went to class for him

The robot was named “Meg”

Now he just uses his screens

Owns a crop top that has a cat face on it that Ortho made for him

Actually wears it a lot, but nobody ever sees below his shoulders on his screens

Oh yeah, also constantly questioning his sexuality

Currently likes guys, but that might just be because he goes to an all-guys school

Ortho

Has tons of cat plushies in his room despite not needing to sleep

Also has a mini library in his room, but he memorized all of the books

Burns things with his hair

Also sews a lot

Spills tea about the dorm residents with Trey, Jamil and Lilia

Has a couple pictures from before he became a robot, but doesn’t remember taking them

Has a bulletin board where he hangs pictures of his friends and family

Actually takes photography classes from Cater

Doesn’t focus on sexuality, so he just goes with “Queer”

People assume he’s scared of water because of his fire hair, but he loves playing in pools

Once cosplayed as Alphonse Elric and Iida was Edward from FML

Has pictures of that as well

Diasomnia

Basically one big family

Even more-so than other dorms like Ignihyde

Has a vault of hard liquor that has been sitting there for centuries

Malleus

Responds to Tsunotaro

Smuggles hard liquor into Scarabia despite not being a drinker

Has a YouTube account where he visits old buildings

Floyd ruined his Ramshackle Dorm video by standing at the end of a hallway and laughing

Can turn into a Dragon

His horns aren’t sensitive

Lilia once hung Christmas lights from them and Malleus didn’t notice for the entire day

Sometimes Lilia jumps and pulls on Malleus’ horns when he’s being dumb

Polysexual, but leans towards men

When he looks surprised by something - he genuinely is surprised, not faking it for someone else

Doesn’t believe in hiding emotions

Is actually like 300 years old, but was frozen for a good amount of it

Also immortal and is stuck at being physically 18

Damn Fairy magic

Oh and he didn’t mind wearing Leona’s ceremonial robes that one time

They were comfy

Enjoys swapping clothes with Leona a lot

Also had a crown made of thorns that is uncomfortable to wear

He burned it, but hasn’t told anyone yet

Takes the term “mom friend” to another level

Just ask Silver

Lilia

Only calls Malleus “old man” to be a prick

Is like 500 years old

Has gone through high school many times

Can undo stitches in people’s clothing without them knowing until their clothing falls apart

Asexual Homoromantic

“Who needs sex when you can be a bitch?” - Lilia Vanrouge, 2020

Is Malleus’ royal advisor

Spills tea like crazy

Has catfished people

Is the cool dad

Sebek

Is a Malleus fanboy???

He named his horse Draco

I don’t have many Headcanons about Sebek actually

Probably drinks tea with Riddle sometimes

Oh and definitely a bottom

Is he Bi? Poly? Pan? No one knows

But he’s a power bottom

Silver

Doesn’t have a last name because he was raised by Lilia and Malleus

Is indebted to Malleus because of this

and Lilia too, but like I said, Lilia is the cool dad

(he is actually indebted to Malleus in canon, but idk if it’s for this reason or not)

just let him have two platonically gay dads that go to school with him

Once in a Diasomnia/Savanaclaw sleepover, he and Leona passed out on each other’s shoulders while Ruggie and Lilia took photos

The photos haven’t been seen in a while, but are still around somewhere

Actually has several photos of him falling asleep with his head in Lilia’s lap

His bed stretches across his entire wall, forming a bench almost

Owns a suit of armor

It has a sword

He can use the sword if needed

Can he just get a nap????

Because of his relationship with Malleus, seeing fireflies calms him down

Is this guy wholesome? Yes.

Is he a Bisexual top? Also yes.

Can’t make everything wholesome

Holy fuck my fingers hate me. If you managed to read this far, I hope you enjoyed my headcanons for Twisted Wonderland students and houses! I don’t know enough about the teachers to make headcanons for each them, but I do have one for the staff:

Sam and Dire Crowley

Married

This is the only reason Sam runs the school store

Sam is not qualified for anything else

But Dire loves him too much to fire him

Forget the wholesomeness between the Dorm heads and their Vices

This is the most wholesome pair

Okay seriously - I need to stop making these headcanons it’s midnight at my house. I’ve spent probably close to 13 hours (give or take with a lot of breaks) writing these down and doing research on characters just so that my headcanons don’t seem completely out of the blue. Also, don’t be afraid to post your own headcanons, even if canon doesn’t always support them. That’s the thing about fictional characters - they’re open to interpretation!

And now to the long list of tags....

[piss-bread]

I posted 383 times in 2021

174 posts created (45%)

209 posts reblogged (55%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.2 posts.

I added 33 tags in 2021

#dsmp au - 6 posts

#dsmp - 5 posts

#breadsmp - 5 posts

#dream smp au - 4 posts

#thenormalau - 3 posts

#minecraft - 2 posts

#bread smp - 2 posts

#open smp - 2 posts

#smp - 2 posts

#spirit is game theory - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#blonde bitches see technoblade and go ''i have to befriend this guy''

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Y'know the character arcs I want?

I want another musical to be added to the list. Sure, we got Hamilton, we got the Heathers, yada yada, but you know what I really want?

I want Jack Manifold or Beeduo to have a Dr. Horrible arc. Neil Patrick Harris is my favorite actor and that musical needs so much more love.

For Jack, there's no romantic aspect, he's fighting Tommy for the Hotel, and in the end it gets blown up. Jack is Dr. Horrible. I want Jack to have a villain arc where he's the one who stole one of Tubbo's nukes. I want Carl to be Bad Horse. Jack names a spider he found "Moist".

For Beeduo? Easy. Tubbo is Dr. Horrible. Who's the Hammer guy? Wilbur. Wilbur wants Ranboo to work at Ranburger and Tubbo does not. Las Nevadas is Australia. Carl is still Bad Horse. Michael is Moist.

19 notes • Posted 2021-09-02 23:31:54 GMT

#4

Explanation time oof- basically, this is based on how well these things seem to be known! I had to add VV, blu, and mismatch they're important to the community

And VVcantwrite asked to see it when I finished it so @vvcantwrite

28 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 02:07:37 GMT

#3

Officially calling this AU: The Normal AU

This post will be edited!

Completion level:

Red = not started, Orange = Ideas hashed out, Green = Half-finished, Blue = mostly done, Purple = Done

Original Concept by: @vvcantwrite

Original Post: Here

Part 1 : Let's get this over with.

[Unfinished]

School sucks absolute ass so I'm not going to write about it so let's cut to the chase.

Tommy's walking on the sidewalk and Purpled comes up to him, asking if he can film him on his skateboard. Tommy agrees and Purpled decides to teleport backwards to see if Tommy notices. After Tommy's done filming, he shows Purpled and laughs, saying his camera glitched out. Purpled stares at him for a second before Tommy sends him the video. He thanks him and skates away.

Tommy continues walking, meeting up with Tubbo.

"Tubbo, why's that skateboard kid so weird?"

"He's just like that."

The two walk for a bit. About a block away from Tubbo's house, they cross an alleyway.

Bad cuts the two off, yelling at Skeppy, who is chasing him. Skeppy is throwing large, damp woodchips at him. Tubbo buries his face in his hands in second-hand disappointment.

Tommy looks up to see Jack on top of a building, filming the two and egging Skeppy on.

They make it back to Tubbo's place. Tommy flops on the couch while Tubbo walks into the kitchen, grabbing some lunchables from the fridge. Ranboo comes in, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

"Y'know, for such a tall guy you are good at just appearing places." Tommy says.

"I litteraly came through the front door-"

Tubbo comes back from the kitchen, holding 3 lunchables, and says "We are dining like kings tonight!" Tommy and Ranboo cheer.

After they eat, Tommy grabs his bag. He decided to stay over. He heads off to bed, but decides to stay awake to eavesdrop when he hears Tubbo and Ranboo talking.

"You didn't come through the front door?"

"I- yeah I did?"

"I have security cameras Ranboo. You never came through the door. Or a window for that matter."

"I'll- explain later. Tommy might still be awake."

Tommy goes to sleep, bummed that he didn't get to hear what happened.

He wakes up in the morning to an alarm. It's Friday. He gets up and says hello to Tubbo and Ranboo.

"What were you two talking about last night?"

Ranboo jumps in his seat, but Tubbo just says "my security cameras goofed or something."

Tommy sighs. He grabs a bowl of cereal and eats before grabbing his bag and heading to school.

He gets to class with Ranboo.

"You're both late. What took so long?"

"Who are you?" Ranboo asks.

"I'm the substitute. Your teacher had some issues or something. I don't care. Get to your seats. I'm doing roll."

few names on the way.

Part 2: There's a new Kid in town

[Unfinished]

Part 3: Why?

[Unfinished]

Part 4: Finally

[Unfinished]

Some of the group is at a lake one day to swim. Jack, Tubbo, and Nikki are at the shore. Tommy and Wilbur are swimming. Ranboo is hanging around as a seagull, watching them.

Tommy's angrily impressed by how long Wilbur can hold his breath underwater (he isn't even holding his breath lol) so he grabs some bread crumbs and throws them at Wilbur. Wilbur flips him off, and Tommy asks "Dude what the hell is up with your hands?"

Ranboo falls off of the dead tree he was sitting on because of how hard he was laughing, turning back into a human before he hits the ground. Tommy takes a moment to process what he just saw as Wilbur, Tubbo, and Nikki start laughing. Tubbo looks at Jack and says "You owe us so much money because of his stupidity."

On the way home, Tommy asks Wilbur and Tubbo a mountain of questions. They answer them while trying to stifle their laughter. The three leave the car and say goodbye to everyone but Ranboo, who comes with them.

Philza sees the four entering the house. Tommy is still trying to work through what just happened. The other three are laughing at him. Phil asks "What did it take for him to find out?"

"Me falling out of a tree and Wilbur flipping him off." Ranboo says.

Phil looks concerned for a minute then says "Surprised it took that little. It's been years. No offense Tommy, but you're fucking stupid."

Tommy yells "Well I'm sorry that I thought I was living on a normal fucking planet Phil."

30 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 07:08:04 GMT

#2

Y'all I've been unconscious for days what happened in lore while I was gone

48 notes • Posted 2021-09-16 18:09:43 GMT

#1

So. I've taken a liking to editing deer photos

705 notes • Posted 2021-09-05 18:29:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[lesbianlovelanguage]

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.” 

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze. 

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself. 

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other. 

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse. 

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock. 

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure. 

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February. 

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit. 

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert. 

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide. 

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?” 

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers. 

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.” 

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2. 

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question. 

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh. 

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin. 

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s. 

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it. 

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.” 

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor. 

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face. 

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?” 

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted. 

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?” 

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?” 

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?” 

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.” 

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate. 

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action. 

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it. 

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their 

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it? 

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle. 

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room. 

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him. 

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?” 

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 4

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3580

Warnings: still a crazy ass bih lol. I can’t stop with the drama sorryyy

Summary: Y/n starts noticing how weird Tom is being and decides to confront him.

A/N: I think I’m going to post two days in a row then have one day off, but like a sis is nearing the end of her school year so let’s hope I stick with it haha. Please lmk if you’re enjoying this/ have any constructive criticism. ALSO I need help like ded ass don’t know if I’m stupid or if it’s tumblr’s fault, but when I tag people some of the tags don’t work :/ BUT don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the tag list :) 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

+++

*week and a half before lock down*

You opened the door to the flat exhausted after a long day of filming and walked into the living room to see Tom busy on his laptop. He looked up, 

“Oh hi, y/n.” He shut his laptop and stood up, you gave him a strange look.

“Leaving already? Do I smell or something?” You joked and flopped on the couch. Tom has been acting really strange with you after the dinner with his family. Lately he’s been leaving you alone whenever one of the boys got up to leave as well. ‘Was he feeling awkward about being friends?’ you thought to yourself. 

“Oh no no you don’t smell. You always smell nice,” He blushed because he said too much, “Just need to work on this script, Harry’s been on my ass about it.” He said and began to walk away before you could reply.

“What? Not even gonna ask how my day was... you know like a friend?” You teased and Tom sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and turned around

“How was your day, y/n?”

“It was long, tiring, and someone was really rude to me on the set.” You sighed and waited for him to sit back down so he could listen, but he never did, “Ok then… how about your day, Tom?” This was starting to get awkward, 

“Didn’t really do anything, just ate and worked on the first act of the movie, which still isn’t done so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to my room now.” He said quickly, turning around again walking away.

“How rude. ‘Ya let’s be friends, y/n, it’ll be fun.’” You grumbled and mimicked him in an annoyed voice. Tom heard and felt really bad to pretend he didn’t.

-

You were now sitting on Harry’s bed watching him edit his short film and eating ice cream, he listened to how your day went,

“And oh my god one of the stunt fighter guys was being a straight up asshole,” You rolled your eyes eating another spoonful of ice cream,

“How so?” Harry asked

“Well I kept messing up this one stunt where I was in heels and we ended up filming it 7 times. I mean I felt bad for wasting time, but that was until the dickhead said, ‘I don’t even know why they casted you, it’s a simple stunt just get this shit down already so we can move on!’” You said in a deep voice mimicking the guy, “I was so embarrassed, but thankfully Ryan stood up for me. Still ruined my day though.”

“What the hell? What kinda asshole-,” He got up from his spot on the bed all riled up, “Who is this guy? I’m gonna end him. Does he even realize how damn hard it is to do a stunt in heels?” You laughed at Harry’s protectiveness, “Tom literally took half a day to film one stunt and he wasn’t in heels!” You shrugged.

“Sit your ass back down. Thanks for trying to protect me, but everything will be fine, I’m strong. It’s business gotta suck it up.” He rolled his eyes and jumped on you with a bear hug. You laughed and tried to push him off of you, but he was too heavy. 

“Harry, you bitch, I can’t breathe.”

“I just want to protect my best friend.” He said before letting you go and going back to editing.

“Speaking of Tom, have you noticed that he’s avoiding me?” You asked quickly.

“Huh? I haven’t noticed anything of the sort. I mean you guys are both really busy right now aren’t you?” You nodded and rested your head on Harry’s shoulder,

“I mean I guess, but haven’t you noticed like yesterday when you left the kitchen Tom rushed a bit to leave also?” 

“Oh yeah I forgot about that, it was quite strange now that I think about it.” 

“Yeah Tom’s been doing that to me ever since we left your parents’ house. And when I got home today I tried to talk to him about my day, because you know I thought he’s my friend, and he just said he really needed to work on the script and left to his room!”

“Hmm, I did tell him to finish the first act by tomorrow, but he’s been working in the living room all day. Said something about his room being more of a distraction. Also it’s not like Tom to leave without hearing someone out. He always listens.” You just sighed,

“I guess he thinks it’s still weird to be friends. I tried, sorry, Harry.”

“Please don’t give up just yet, y/n, maybe he’s just stressed or something. You know I wouldn’t want to pick sides.” You nodded and started to drift off to sleep and felt Harry remove the bowl from your lap.

-

“Y/n, love, wake up.” you were being shaken by Harry.

“Huh? Oh sorry, did I fall asleep?” You asked groggily and he laughed,

“Yeah and I finished editing the short film!” You jumped up no longer tired anymore.

“Oh my god yay, Harry! Can I see it now pleaseeee?” You jumped up and down on the bed.

“Tomorrow, love, it’s 1 am now and I want to show everyone in the house at the same time.” You pouted and he laughed.

“Fine then be like that. But I’m proud of you.” You hugged him, “Good night, Harry, can’t wait to see the finished product!” 

“Night, love.” He chuckled and you walked out with your empty dish.

You pulled out your phone and opened the Instagram app to see that Tom posted something on his story about 30 minutes ago. It was a picture of the script and his foot captioned, “Working on something big, like my big toe.” You giggled a bit and muttered, “Idiot.” The next story post was from Tuwaine, it was a picture you all took together after breakfast when Tom burnt himself. You were laying across the boys’ laps and Tom was happily looking down at your smiling face. It was captioned, “If lock down happens, it’ll be a real party with these people.” You smiled and reposted it to your story.

As soon as you reached the kitchen you saw Tom sitting at the counter and typing away on his laptop.

“Hey, Tom, still working?” Tom jumped at the sound of your voice.

“Jesus, don’t scare me like that. And yes I couldn’t sleep, b-but I think I’m getting tired now.” He was about to close his laptop and leave, but you stopped him. 

“Oh my god… I’m just gonna put my dish in the sink and leave.” His frazzled expression turned to a relaxed one and he sat back down typing again, refusing to look at you. You began to walk away then felt the urge to ask,

“Tom, a-are you avoiding me?” It came out quieter than you thought, you felt vulnerable. He stopped typing for a brief moment when you asked.

“No, definitely not. Why’d you think that?” You walked back to the counter and stood across him leaning on the surface.

“I’ve been noticing that you're in a rush to leave the room when we’re alone…” Tom continued to type, but incorrectly because of his nerves. 

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, love, didn’t mean for you to think that. I’m just busy is all, I promise.” He said and pointed at the laptop.

“Too busy to hear your friend rant about her day?” You asked and he sighed. His heart dropped when you called yourself his friend.

“I’m afraid so, love. Now why don’t you go sleep don’t you have to film tom-” You cut him off getting tired of the excuses,

“Tom cut the shit, I know you’re avoiding me and I don’t get why.” Tom sighed as you rambled and he put his laptop to the side because he wasn’t getting anything done, “I really appreciate you letting me stay here, but shouldn’t we at least talk a little bit? I mean I was ready to be friends with you for Harry’s sake and then we talked at the dinner and then I was genuinely ready to start off on a new foot. I’ve been trying so hard to reach out to you and you’re literally avoiding me now. Like are you even trying at all? Because I don’t-” Your eyes began to water. Tom got too frustrated and cut you off,

“Y/n I can’t talk about this right now. Please, it’d be better if we discussed this another time.”

“What the hell? Are you being serious? You were a dick when we broke up, you were a dick when I tried to reach out to you, and now you’re being a dick for putting our so called ‘friendship’ on ho-”

“Y/n, stop! Ok? I get it. You can call me a dick and an asshole whatever you want, but this is all for you! Everything I do is for you or because of you! So just leave me the fuck alone, please.” His voice cracked when he said the last sentence. 

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you doing for me?” You stared at him confused.

“I can’t say anything, it’s for the best. Just drop it.” You looked at one another, tears threatening to fall out of Tom’s eyes, you hadn’t noticed you were already crying.

“No. I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what’s going on, Tom. I care for you and I want to be here for you, just tell me what’s going on please.” He looked at you and furrowed his brows making tears stream down his cheeks, it hurt to see you so sad especially since he caused it. He turned around in distress and brushed his hands through his hair before turning back to you. He looked into your eyes and sighed knowing there was no way out of this situation.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I told Allana you’re my ex.” 

“Ok and what’s so ba-”

“Let me finish, y/n, please.” You apologized softly.

“I told her not to tell anyone because I didn’t want to break the promise of letting the world know that we dated. A-and she threatened to spill the secret if I didn’t stay away from you. She said if I ever told anyone about what she said or if she ever saw me close to you again she’d expose us right away. I-I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship because I decided to be honest to my two-faced girlfriend.” All this information hit you like a train.

“Wow, what. a. fucking. Bitch.” You said stunned, Tom scoffed.

“I feel like an idiot for not listening to the boys and not seeing the red flags.” He sat back down and put his head in his hands. 

“Hey don’t worry, I didn’t notice anything either. Hell I tried to help her. Maybe we’re too gullible…” What you said didn’t really help so Tom began to sob a bit. You walked over to his side and put a hand on his forearm so that he could look at you. His heart was racing at your touch.

“Look, I know Allana is bat shit crazy, but…” You paused thinking if this was a good thing to tell him, “I uh I don’t think I can have you avoiding me all the time, I want you in my life,” He looked up at you surprised, “a-as a friend.” His heart dropped, was that all you were ever going to see him as? A damn friend? 

“Ok, but Allana will tell everyone, and I know how much you care about your privacy.” He said with a stuffy nose, you grabbed a tissue for yourself and Tom.

“I know, but we’ll figure out a way. We were clever enough to hide a 6 month relationship.” You smiled, but you both felt sad when you mentioned your past. He got up and wrapped you in his arms tightly. You swayed back and forth as you felt wet droplets fall on the top of your head, and you soaked Tom’s white t-shirt. You both weren’t crying only because of what just happened, but because you missed one another in a way that words can’t explain. You let out the tears you didn’t cry from when Tom didn’t respond to you and remembered the nights you’d go through old pictures of you and him alone. Tom was crying out all the tears he wanted to let out when he saw that picture of you and Gavin and from the nights that he craved your touch. He tightened his arms around you like it was the last time he’d ever see you. 

“Allana might be watching from outside the window, I’m gonna let you go now.” You said and Tom chuckled sadly letting you go, “We’ll talk about what we can do about this situation in the morning or another time.” You smiled kindly at Tom and he nodded. Tom grabbed your hand softly before you could walk away and pulled you close. You gulped because of how close you were to him,

“Thanks for being so kind, sleep well. Goodnight, y/n.” You smiled and replied,

“Thanks for being more kind to me. Goodnight.” You gave him one last hug and walked away feeling relieved while Tom still felt guilty despite what you said. He still felt like he needed to do more.

-

You woke up at 8 AM feeling a lot happier for some reason. Maybe it was because you cleared things up with Tom last night or because you were going to film a really exciting scene today with some new people. 

You walked into the kitchen, “Goodmorning boys!” You said enthusiastically walking up behind where Harry was seated and gave him a hug from behind.

“Ew why’re you happy?” Harry asked, still tired. 

“Morning, y/n!!” Tuwaine and Haz said in unison. You grabbed a bowl and poured yourself a bowl of cereal.

“Harry, when are we gonna watch your film, I can’t wait any longer.” You complained.

“Maybe when you come back from set, I want to go back to sleep after I eat.”

“Ugh you’re so lazy.” You joked, “where’s Tom, isn’t he usually up by now?”

Tuwaine looked at the other boys then at you apologetically, “He uh left around 5 this morning.”

“Oh for an early workout or something?” You asked, taking a bite of cereal.

“No,” Tuwaine cleared his throat, “to Berlin, Germany.” You choked on your cereal. 

“Wait what, you’re joking I thought he leaves in 3 days.” 

“I don’t know exactly why he left, something about needing a few days for himself before filming. Which I understand because he’s been working hard.” Haz said and you furrowed your brows, was it because of what happened last night? Harry noticed your concern.

“Y/n, do you know exactly why he left?” You wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t. If the boys found out what Allana said they’d definitely do something about it and you couldn’t let that happen. You shook your head,

“Nope, I’m just as confused as you are.” You said coolly.

-

“Are you sure you don’t know what was making Tom stressed?” Harry asked as he pulled up in front of the studio.

“Ya, I’m sure. He’s avoiding me, remember?” It pained you to lie to Harry like that, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to let the world know you and Tom dated. Harry looked like he didn’t believe you, but he let it go.

“Ok then… Text or call when you need me to pick you up.” You thanked him again for dropping you off and walked to the set. You saw Lana and walked with her,

“Hey, babes, did you see the text from Melissa?” You shook your head no. Melissa was in charge of scheduling which scenes would be filmed every day, “She said everyone needed to meet at crafty’s before going to sound stage 32.” 

“Really? Why?” 

“Not quite sure, but there’s been rumors that filming will be postponed.” Lana said sadly.

“Wait, you’re joking.” She shrugged and shook her head as you guys entered the food tent, everyone already looking disappointed.

“Hi everyone, as many of you know Covid-19 was just announced as a world wide pandemic and we’ve just been shut down from shooting anymore scenes at least for two weeks.” Melissa said everyone groaning, “Yes I know this sucks, but please stay safe and healthy while we’re shut down. If you have a trailer here please make sure you clear all your things out because there will be a cleaning team here in two days to…” You drowned Melissa’s voice out

“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…” You sighed and dropped your head on Lana’s shoulder and she patted your head.

“Lastly make sure you all stay in the same shape you are in now, so nothing looks different when we resume shooting.” Melissa hopped off the table and everyone began to clear out to get their things. You called Harry telling him the sad news. 

-

“I’m so upset, Harry, today sucks.” He patted your thigh as he made a right turn.

“It’ll be ok, love. I’m sure you will go back to filming in no time and you’ll actually miss having a break.” You just leaned your head on the window wondering if Tom at least made it safely to Berlin, and in that exact moment your phone pinged. 

Tom: Hi, y/n, I assume the boys have already told you that I left for Berlin. I just landed. I’m really sorry for not giving a warning, but the space is for the best. I hope you can understand xx

You were upset with everything and everyone at this point and Tom’s text just ruined your mood more. How does he know what’s best for you? Mad and feeling petty you texted back,

You: k.

Tom: Please, trust me, y/n. This will help out our situation.

You: Last time I checked running away from your problems never helps the situation.

You threw your phone back into your purse annoyed.

“Oh shit, what the fuck is she doing here?” Harry asked, displeased. You looked up to see Allana pulling into the driveway just before you and Harry did. 

“Great. Just fucking great. Harry, I think I’m gonna scream.”

“I think I will too. Can we just drive around until she’s gone?”

“That would be nice, but I think she already spotted us and won’t leave.” You pointed at her going to sit down on the porch. Harry groaned and pulled into the driveway. As soon as you and Harry stepped out the car she stood up and barked,

“Where the hell is Tom? He hasn’t texted me since yesterday afternoon, today is our 5 month anniversary.” Well that makes things more complicated. Harry looked at you with wide eyes, “What? Why’re you looking at her like that? Did you have something to fucking do with this, y/n?” She said giving you the dirtiest look ever. ‘Bitch I hope it wasn’t because of me.’ You thought. Harry got closer to you in protective mode.

“No no I swear. We were all surprised to see Tom gone this morning.”

“Gone? Where the hell is he?” 

“He went to Berlin early. Now if you’ll excuse us we’d like to relax in our home.” Harry said not letting you talk, almost standing in front of you now. You both began to walk past her, but she squeezed your arm tight and yanked you back. You winced in pain.

“You bitch what did you do? Don’t even think about fucking lying to me.” Her eyes burned into your soul.

“Allana, what the fuck you’re crazy! back off!” Harry said, pulling you back behind him, “I suggest you leave now before things get more ugly.” He said in the most intimidating way possible.

“Ok, but the only thing ugly about this is whatever y/n did with Tom. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re a stupid whore. I saw that photo of you laying on him last night, and I’ve seen how you flirt with Tom you sk-”

“Allana that’s enough, go now!” Harry yelled and she looked surprised. She glared at you before stepping back, “Stay the fuck away from Tom he doesn’t need your ugly ass all over him.” “Allana, sweetie, we live in the same house. Quite dumb of you to think we can really stay away from one another.” You laughed darkly as tears of anger welled up in your eyes.

“Ok then, cunt. Go near him, I dare you. You have no idea what I’m capab-”

“Allana, I said fucking leave!” Harry was tired of this shit. Allana scoffed and finally drove away.

Harry turned to you cradling you in his arms as you let tears fall down your face, “I hate today…” you hiccuped, “a lot.” 

“I know, I know.” He cooed. You looked up at him, “I know something is up, y/n. You need to tell me why my brother really left so I can help you.” You sighed and nodded.

“Ok let’s get you cleaned up.” He kept you close to his side and you both walked in. Tom was so wrong thinking him leaving would solve anything.

+++

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts​ @thollandx​ @mrsjeffwittek​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @racewife2004​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @witchything​ @wheelertozier​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @rafficorn @jessirosebud​ @peterspideyy​ @superstarchick​ @jackiehollanderr​  @astridcommings @mineymak712 @hollands-osterfield​ @inhumanwithpowers​

[bbrandy2002]

Something Flubbed:

Consequences of A Bad Reblog

Part 1

Wacky Drabble #15: It could be worse.

Liam and Riley

Word count: 1102

Summary: This is a continuation of a drabble I did several weeks ago, Riley's Secret Life.

A/N: So much for hiatus 😯 Im feeling better though and thanks to everyone who reached out with love, support and encouragement.

Thanks Burnsy for pre-reading and helping to tweak a certain paragraph or two.

Warning: Lot and Lots of bad language. Riley is not holding back in this; Im almost embarrassed for her...almost.

**I will not deny, nor, confirm this is loosely autobiographical**

Sorry, my read more is not working again.

'Haha, Drake's hogtied naked on Liam's jet', Riley chuckled to herself as she read, careful to not awaken a sleeping Liam to her antics. Oh yeah, he still doesn’t know Riley reads and writes fanfic about their life on tumblr like an obsessive tool. Would he care? she has no idea, nor, does she ever intend to find out.

He starts to stir in their oversized bed, a light snore escapes him as he grumbles something about pootang. Riley hits the panic app on her laptap, bringing up the Cordonian Fall expenses report. She was supposed to look over the numbers weeks ago, but, since her ass belongs to Tumblr now, the only numbers she cares about are followers and notes.

She remains perfectly still, holding her breath, as he rolls over, his back towards her, and with a quick scratch to his balls, he blissfully resumes his slumber. Riley exhales in relief and with a little snort she returns back to her tumblring, eagerly typing out a DM, to share the newest Liamism.

Notthequeenofcordonia: Burnsy, you there? This mofo is playing with his balls again 🤣

@burnsoslow LMFAO!!

@burnsoslow Alyssa is gonna get a mouthful of Drake's balls in Chapter 394 of Heavier Things: The Nursing Home Years

Notthequeenofcordonia: At least her new dentures will make it easier. Don't need her choking and having heart palpatations again...Drakey Baby's got that new hip, should probably take it easy on him for a while.

@burnsoslow BUT I WANT THEM TO FUCK SO BAD!!!!!!!

After arguing with Burnsy for 10 minutes that at 102 years old, HT Drake's colossus is shriveled and no longer working, she returns to reading. Riley hits the little heart and begins her well crafted, 500 word reblog with five-on point gifs-to accessorize it. As she prepares to post her reblog, a light knock on the bedroom alerts her to their 5 year old, Nikolas, who does not wait for an invitation to enter.

“Mommy?”, he wearily asks, being just a small silhouette in the doorway of the surrounding darkness.

Riley huffs, lowering her laptop and shushes him, glaring over at Liam to ensure he hasn’t been disturbed before drawing her attention back to her son. “What is it kiddo?”, she cautiously whispers.

He rubs his heavy eyes with one tiny hand and holds on tightly to his blue, stuffed dragon in the other. “I had a nightmare momma, I’m really scared”, he replies softly with a sniffle.

Riley stared at the small boy, who was the perfect mixture of she and Liam, the proof of their love….then she looked at the pending reblog that kept calling out for her to finish, the other proof of her love.

“Um, Nikolas”, she bit her fingernail as she contemplated the terrible example she was about to set as a mother, “go sleep with Grandma Regina”.

Nikolas’ eyes widened in disgust as he slumped in frustration, “But momma”, he cried, “she pisses the bed and blames me for it”.

"It could be worse", Riley grumbled, wishing Regina would just have her vaginal mesh surgery already. As Liam began to toss again, rolling over this time to face her side and muttering, little cockblocker, Riley decided to help her son find comfort back in his own room. She eased up from the bed, placing the laptop by her pillow and threw her pink cottony, mom robe over her pajamas.

"I'm coming Nik, just have to do...something", she trailed, reaching back over for her laptop. She typed out one last sentence before hitting, post.

Riley tapped at the keys, squinting her eyes at those words.....

Something flubbed. Try again.

Her breathing became a little more heavier, her heart starting to race. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, knowing that if she believed hard enough, her massive reblog would suddenly reappear.

All of time and space froze in existence as she continued to hit the 'retry' option again and again and again and again....nothing...it was gone.

"YOU SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING WHORE, COCKSUCKING, BILLY JOE DICKWAFFLE, SHIT EATING, HONKY TONK PECKERWOOD, SKANKASSED, DICKHEADED, JIZZSTAINED, CUMWIPED, TINY NUTSACKED, BITCH!!!!!!!!!! The laptop flew across the room.

It really was like something out of a horror flick, a creepy ass Stephen King novel, a Dateline NBC story. King Fabian's large naked portait shook vigorously at the reverberations before bouncing off the wall and crashing to the marbled floor.

"Mommy!", Nikolas yelled in a panic as he ran away to seek refuge.

Liam's eyes shot open, not completely awake but ready to pounce whatever the hell was torturing his wife. His body weaved back and forth in attack mode, demonstrating his highly skilled martial arts moves, kicks and spins, slashes and puches. Unbeknowest to him, his dick was poking through the hole in his boxers, bouncing and flopping with each technique, causing Riley to burst into a fit of laughter.

"What the hell happened! Are you okay?", he asked breathless and confused, his dick still poking through.

Riley covered her mouth, attempting to stifle her laughs, still baffled that he didn't realize his dick and now half a ball had escaped their confines. "I'm fine...I'm fine....but, g'day mate, permission to come upboard captain", she squeeled, saluting in gest to his manhood.

Liam looked down, a slight growl escaping as he tucked his jewels back in its place. "I heard screams....why is Fabian's portrait busted...and.. stop fucking laughing, it's over."

"I'm trying, but...oh god...I cant", she cackled, "I have to go check on Nikolas, he had a nightmare", she scurried past him and out of the room before he could ask any further questions.

If he wasnt pissed before, he was about to be. Just as he turned to head towards the bathroom, his foot stepped on the opened laptop Riley threw, sliding him forward before he corrected himself and skid backwards with a thud.

"Goddamit!", he howled, twisting and contorting his back, wallowing from the bruising pain. As he laid there, trying to catch his breath, he glanced over at the object that has caused his affliction in more ways than one. His head popped up, pulling the laptop closer to him, completely shocked by its contents, his blood boiling the more he read and saw. DRAKES COLOSSUS DICK...RIDING DRAKE IS MY CHOICE, EDITS OF LIAM AND RILEY WITH CREEPY KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE DRAKE........DRAKE, DRAKE, FUCKING DRAKE.....

"I finally got him back to sleep with some Nyquil and a shot of whiskey....", Riley stopped talking as she entered their bedroom again moments later and realized, Liam knew.

"Uhhh, I..I can explain".

__________________

Wacky Drabbler tags: @emceesynonymroll @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @jessiembruno @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pedudley @romanticatheart-posts @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @theroyalromancexx

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Clary Fray Gets Married. (My First Story On Wattpad) My Reaction After 3 Years.

So This story is going to be deleted from Wattpad on 12/18/2020. Due to how messy the story is. But I don’t reccomend reading it. So if you want to read the mess before then here is the link:

Clary Fray Gets Married

Masterlist

One paragraph is a single chapter

So Maia just got killed and Sebastian is back. That's a cheesy line. How would they be able to invite you to the wedding if they thought you were dead. Not that they would anyway. Clary is sacrificing herself for everyone. All these misspellings though, well it was my first story on here and I never edited it and I wrote it on my phone. That was short af. Well my original word count was 500 but later in the story I am pretty sure I switched it to my current 2000.

The incest plotline though, *throws up* I was trying to continue the idea of Sebastian thinking that the bloodline had to be pure. And Clary's pregnant. Jace's pov, the language was the worst in this story. Clary pov. Sebastian wants to make another demon child. Trama. Sebastian is a vampire but a new breed. Mark of Cain?

So we are starting this chapter with Trama warnings. Jace is blood thirsty and I don't blame him. This is the cringest this I've ever written and that's saying a lot. Clary made a run to hurt him. It can't be that easy.

Sebastian told Jace that was pregnant. Jace just cut of his head and he's still alive? These 500 word chapter get annoying fast.

Threatening Alec for Magnus to put up wards. That's one way to do it ig. You want the Infernal Cup too? Now he only wants Jace and Clary there.

Not much happened in this chapter but Sebastian raided Clary's closet from the Insitute.

A protective Jocelyn tho. This language is not how I would write this today.

It's like every other word is F*ck. This is so cringey. This is supposed to be first person pov not whatever you wanna call that. So much flopping back and forth between povs and I didn't make the pov change very noticeable either.

Really you're taking his head off again? Well it gave you time to get away ig.

This conversation feels forced. It doesn't flow right.

Clary is insisting on getting married before Sebastian can screw it up any more.

Magnus calling Simon by his actual name??? How did Jace just pop up like that?

What the hell was going on it that small pov with Sebastian and Lilith? "...revealing his father in a new form." Valentine? Wtf? Yeah it is Valentine and he hates what his son did.

Jace and Clary are finally getting married.

Valentine it pissed at Sebastian. Clary thinks it's halirious that he's a downworlder now. Karma is a bitch. Clary really just stabbed him in throat after he offered to help you kill your brother and Lilith?

Now why is Sebastian so worked up over a missing necklace? And Jocelyn just found out about Valentine and she shookth.

Jace has a half sister? And Luke has a niece? I don't remember this plotline but this story was all over the place.

Who is Lilith gonna bring back now? Carmen Herondale, Jace's sister.

Sebastian and Carmen reunited.

Sebastian never wanted this for Carmen? She's made at him but not for the reason you think. He was going to propose to her the night she was killed? Valentine is the reason she's dead? Clary just killed him.

Carmen is a murderer? And she got away.

I didn't even realize Simon didn't go.

Carmen you touch Alex or Max I will kill you.

He gave her the wrong spell thankfully.

Tessa is dead? The author's note was not it.

Even in a shitty fanfic Max is adorable.

Carmen's adoptive mundane father was a gang leader in Paris? What kind of crack was I smoking while writing this?

Simon compared her to Assassin's Creed. Why did Clary just pass out?

So the kid is basically going to be a full blown angel. Interesting. And the last thing she remembers is taking the pregnancy test?

That is some Twilight shit right there.

Aww Alec wants to propose to Magnus.

Her pregnancy is getting intense.

That line is so cringey wtf. Sebastian is back?

So I kinda remember the person who originally raised Lilith but tbh I regret writing Carmen's charcther because the next few chapter don't make any sense.

Clary's eyes changed colors. I really don't remember writing half of this because I was going through some stuff at the time.

The unnecessary pov switch tho. Clary just made a new Rune.

Magnus may have found a way to make Shadowhunters immortal?

Why would you try a rune on a trash can?

So everyone one agreed to going immortal. That would suck. And there was a rune made with the oil based paint Clary used. This is confusing af. I am sorry to anyone who has ever read this.

Max calls Clary, Aunt Clary. Wtf does he have to be so cute?

More Max being adorable.

Alec and Magnus are engaged. This makes me happy. Sebastian projected himself into the Insitute?

New Character is introduced: Emily Starkweather. Hodge's daughter and Lydia Blackwell's half sister and she hates her.

I made Lydia Blackwell very homophobic because I made Emily bi sexual and that's why they hate each other. Emily is traitor. Sebastian loves her? And is cheating on Carmen with her. This is very confusing. Emily is gonna teach Izzy how to cook.

Raphael got her addicted to Yin Fen. I really mixed The show and the book together. This bitch is lying her ass off to them.

Sebastian and Emily are planning to get rid of Carmen.

She's planning on killing so many people and pinning it on them.

Emily has some Trama TM

She is going to kill her mother.

Lowkey think Jace is getting sus of her. Carmen is dead.

They just found out she's a traitor.

Joyce, Luke, Myrse and Robert are all dead wtf and the baby is coming.

Emily has a good reason to trust Sebastian tho. He did save her life.

Lilith thought she was dead? Who do u think rose you from Edom?

They don't know Carmen id dead yet? Alec ripped into Lydia. Compared her to Valentine. Big ope. Emily is the 3rd Angel experiment.

Emily and Sebastian  are planning on kidnapping Lydia. Emily's angel blood is Lucifer's wtf? Emily called her sister a Stupid Ass Bitch and I'm living for it. And she's been kidnapped.

Sebastian just turned her? Ew. The left-handed joke. They summoned Lucifer for some reason.

Emily is absolutely crazy.

So she did kill her mother... I didn't make that very clear. Jace and Alec want them to make Amends so that she doesn't murder Shadowhunters. Sweetie I think it's far too late for that. Lydia is officially dead. How could she be preggers if she's a vampire? And now her mother is still alive? Jocelyn, Luke, Maryse and Robert are alive still too? Emily's mom admitted to everything. I also started going to 2000 word chapters.

Lilith is acting like a bitch, kinda. They are attacking the clave. Lilith summoned a shit ton of demons. The end of the chapter is kinda intense tho.

Raphael? Wtf are you doing here? Hodge?  They are testing by mortal sword. This is kinda confusing. Why was this the most read story on my wattpad before Avenging Riverdale?

Flashback scene to when they first met.

Then there was a short chapter. About a prochey

Time skip. The baby is coming. A blue and a black eye? Sebastian's eyes flickered green? Magnus wants to figure how to bring out the Johnathan in him.

Emily plans on making Sebastian stays Sebastian.

That was a shitty chapter.

And I forgot I discountinted it... Sorry about that.

Overall I am happy I discountinted you. It is a horrible book and I am embarrassed by it to be honest. This is my first book on wattpad so I think it's pretty normal but it wasn't my first piece of fanfic. My first work was on Fanfic.net but has since been deleted by the website. I don't know why it wasn't bad at all it was more fluff than anything. But I have decided that I am going to post this and then I'm going to take down the story in a month. I failed to put trigger warnings, failed to edit (to be fair that was back when I did all of my writing on my phone before I had am actual laptop). But I did have some good ideas when it came to the traitor part and Sebastian finding love and I deem this story on crack. So my final rating is a 2/10.

[prblynvr]

hey hey hey hey so like..... “great. perfect. nice. Fuck this” for the 5 word prompts??? eldonado preferably???? I loved ur last fic and like.......... angst please 💛💛

dretfgyui okay so i totally failed at angst, but have a kind of broken down version of this prompt! i wanted to try an exercise in recognizing jealousy in different ways and i sorta maybe did it? idk, but i hope you enjoy! read it here on ao3

feel free to send me more 5 word prompts!

It wasn’t very often- and there was usually a catalyst- but Sam realized that sometimes Peter was incredibly selfish.

It was never in an obvious ‘hoards wealth and resources from the less fortunate’ way, but rather in a utterly human and teenage way. And Sam knows he’s shouldn’t be one to scorn others- lest he become a complete hypocrite- but Peter has always been an oddball. So naturally, the ways his selfishness showed up wouldn’t be that of a Typical Teenager.

The first thing Sam noticed was that Peter was selfish with his time. He would turn down Sam for an after school hang out because he had a test the next day he needed to study for and No, Sam. You’ll just distract me so you can’t help me study. Even if he knew Sam had actually understood Macbeth, he still wouldn’t let him help.

He would spend time on what he wanted, feeding his drive to be successful at video making by losing countless hours of sleep over edits that don’t need to be done for days. He knew that he had to manage himself, and a lot of the time Sam felt like Peter was isolating himself because of it.

Next Sam noticed how selfish Peter was with his belongings- especially with others. He was selfish with his electronics- rarely letting people touch his laptop, phone, or camera. Sam was one of the few who had an all access pass to Peter’s stuff. Maybe it was part of the Gen Z/Millenial need for privacy in an extremely public era, but Peter seemed to take it up a notch. Sometimes, he would get huffy if Sam so much as turned the volume up when they were editing together, reaching around Peter to touch the keyboard himself.

Most important of all, Sam realized Peter was selfish with his feelings. His resting bitch face was widely known and those that interacted with him on a daily basis knew that Peter was not one to emote in blatant ways. Sure, he was defensive of his insecurities and could be provoked by outside sources, but his robot-esque exterior was hard to crack if the response wasn’t anger or rage. Peter hoarded his emotions and bottled them up tight, waiting for a day he could explode and blame it on something that happened, rather than deep seated repression and the hormonal imbalances of a 16 year old body.

It was one particular afternoon that Sam realized jealousy in Peter could be monstrous. In that moment, Sam thought Peter was being extremely unfair. He knew better than most what mood Peter was in at every given moment- it comes with the best friend territory- but he had rarely seen Peter like this, and never directed at Sam. There were targets of this sort of passive-aggression in the past, but Sam has never been on the receiving end. It seemed insane to Sam once he finally figured out what new emotion he was picking up  from Peter.

What would drive someone into an almost manic state, enough so that he would make an exposé on his best friend? Of course Sam understood the principle of the situation- evaluating your own bias- but why did he have to bring Gabi into this? Why did he have to act so smug when presenting the video, like he had placed the final piece of the puzzle that was Sam? Why did he have to smirk at Sam while he presented it, driving Sam up a wall in absolute frustration?

He’s jealous, Sam thought later that night. Not ‘he’s just jealous’- writing the interaction off as a petty emotion, but rather a full statement of truth. Sam had come to realize that something in Peter was deeply bothered by his friendship with Gabi. And now it was in the doc- for all to see and assume from.

And the kicker of it all was that Sam wasn’t in love with Gabi, not at all. He was in love with Peter.

Great.

—-

Eventually- meaning several days later after Peter reached the end of his rope and made a breakthrough on the video from Nana’s party- Sam and Peter were talking again. They were talking to each other about the case. About the dicks. And that was it. There was only one aborted apology between the two which helped ease them back into casual conversation, but the thrill of the mystery was a good jumping off point.

Then the mystery was over. The case had been finished, albeit not completely solved. Dylan had still proven to be an idiot, even though his friendly and sweet nature had grown on Sam, just not as much as it had grown on Peter. Netflix had swooped in and suddenly Peter and Sam were expected to be actual professionals who do things for their productions, rather than pass out after finally finishing edits at 3 A.M. and just posting the damn thing.

The Netflix party was swanky, if Sam’s standards were anything to go by. Sam had always assumed his first suit would have been for prom, yet here he was, summer between Sophomore and Junior year, decked out in formal wear. Peter was fidgeting next to him looking unfairly good. His suit wasn’t as fashionable as Sam’s, but it didn’t matter. Sam was attracted to Peter when he was awake in the middle of the night, decked in sweatpants and a whole day’s worth of face grease. So when Peter put in the effort, Sam’s heart beat just a little bit faster.

Peter kept biting his lip and it was driving Sam kind of crazy. His hair wasn’t flopping in his face like usual, courtesy of a small bit of product, his eyebrows were actually contained and his stupid long-

“…eyelashes.”

“Sorry, what?” Peter asked leaning into Sam’s space and asking loudly in his ear.

“What?” Sam replied.

Did I really say that outloud?

“You just said something but I missed it.”

“Oh, yeah I- just uhhh said…. uh…. there’s a lot of flashes.”

Good save.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of cameras here tonight.” Peter commented, leaning further into Sam. He slipped his arm over Sam’s shoulder as they continued their circuit around the room. “Are you okay? Not too nervous?”

“Oh, my dude,” Sam said jostling back into Peter, “I am living it up! Look at what we’ve created!”

“It’s crazy to think that 27 dicks could have done this.”

Sam laughed, leaning into Peter further.

Even if I can’t tell him, at least I still have this.

Although Sam was an extrovert who enjoyed meeting new people and being around many at once, tonight felt different. This wasn’t just a party, it was a professional party- one that seemed to drain him with every passing minute instead of fill him with excitement.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” Sam said slipping out of Peter’s arm. “Want anything?”

“No, I’m good. I’ll find you in a bit.”

Sam walked away, shooting Peter a set of finger guns accompanied by a grin before scooting towards the bar. The line wasn’t too long, but all he wanted at that moment was some water and a place to sit down. Sam was taking stock of the three people in front of him in line, patiently waiting to get refreshments as well, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me? Are you Sam Ecklund?” A voice from behind him asked.

He turned his head and shoulders just enough to see a blonde, vaguely familiar girl. She was dressed as if she had a reason to be at the party and maybe she did. Sam only really knew Peter and a handful of the Netflix representatives there. Besides that, he had no idea what the guest list was.

“Oh, uh- yeah that’s me.” He said, finding her eyes. In a split second he schooled himself into standing up straighter and faking a little enthusiasm. The night had been incredibly long so far, but he and Peter had stayed up later.

Just half an hour, he promised himself, half an hour then you can probably convince Peter to leave.

“Oh, awesome! I just wanted to tell you how much I loved your work on the doc. Like Peter was always so serious but you really stole the show with the comedy aspect!”

“Yeah he seems that way, but Peter’s really just a big jokester too.” Sam said, feeling a little hurt that she would think insulting Peter would gain her favor with him.

“Hah okay, I mean sure, but you really did a great job. Like, without you I don’t think Peter would have ever solved the case.”

Some part of Sam agreed with her- he and Peter were a partnership. But there was something about the way she just kept dismissing Peter that almost pushed Sam over the edge. If he were in a cartoon, you would see his eye twitching in annoyance as this girl continued to talk.

“Nah, Pete’s brilliant. He could have gotten it himself- eventually.”

The girl laughed loudly and brightly, like Sam had said some hysterical joke rather than just a plain comment. Her hand came to rest on his elbow as she continued to giggle. His insides were suddenly knotting up as his eyes flit around the room. Finally, they landed on Peter, who was milling about on his own.

“You’re too funny Sam. Guys with humor are so attractive. Like, there’s just something about you that’s drawing me in. Y’know?”

Peter still wasn’t looking at him so Sam looked back at the girl. The line moved and Sam was able to politely shrug off her hand as he stepped forward. Instead of taking the hint, she simply stepped closer.

“Uh…,” he said, eyes moving and finally connecting with Peter. He widened his eyes and put on a nervous smile. He hoped Peter would come over and interrupt the conversation with some emergency so he could make a quick get away, or at least text him a meme to cheer him up. The line moved again, causing him to have to look away from Peter for a moment

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the night,” she pressed. He stepped further away. “Any cool after party or fun events a girl looking for a good time should know about?”

Saying ‘falling asleep in the same room as my best friend/crush’ probably wasn’t the best way to respond to her question and Sam was a bit stuck.

“Well-”

“Hey Sammy! Thanks for holding our spot.” Suddenly Peter was right next to him, sliding into the space between this girl and Sam.

“Perfect timing.” Sam hoped Peter could feel the waves of gratitude he was trying to beam straight into his psyche.

“Yeah, I forgot to ask for a water before you left. I don’t think I should be having anymore caffeine tonight.” He joked. Sam took a moment to study Peter’s face as a smile carefully graced his lips. It was a publicity smile, one Sam knew he practiced in the mirror as to not look like a murderer when he was in the press. It was one Peter used when trying to be polite without offending anyone.

But, his eyes were crinkled just slightly- something Peter’s public smile never had. That was a private smile, one reserved for his mother or for when he discovered a clue he had been trying to track for days. It was a movement that happened only in the close vicinity to those he trusted. It was just another thing Sam loved about Peter.

“Hi.” A voice cut in- and just like that, Sam’s internal monologue that was about to categorize everything about Peter that drove him crazy was cut short.

“Oh sorry,” Peter said, extending his hand to the girl, “Peter Maldonado.”

“Pleasure,” she said, quickly shaking his hand before stepping back. Sam slung his arm around Peter’s shoulder as he dropped her hand.

“My friend here was just asking about if I knew of any good after parties.” Sam said. “I didn’t quite know how to tell her our boring plans for the night.���

“Well, you are the stars of the show tonight,” she laughed, “And my name is Allison. Allison Keller. But you can call me Alli.” She scooted away from Peter and seemed to gravitate back towards Sam.

“Well Allison, we’d love to help you,” Peter said. Sam watched Allison’s face flit through a range of emotions before landing on a passive smile. “But Sam and I have to get ready for an early flight tomorrow so we’re going to head out soon anyway.”

Suddenly it was their turn at the bar. Peter turned them around enough to ask for two waters before slipping his arm around Sam’s waist and whispering in Sam’s ear, “You okay to leave now?”

Please don’t be blushing right now. Please don’t be blushing right now. Please don’t be blushing right now.

Sam grabbed the two water bottles before turning back to Allison to say, “It was great talking to you but we’re going to head out. Enjoy the rest of your night!”

They walked away without waiting for a response. Sam dropped his arm from Peter’s shoulder, but Peter’s stayed put around his waist until they were near the door. Once they were clear of the room, Peter finally dropped his arm. They chatted a bit about the party as they left and made their way back to their hotel for the night, but not about Allison. Sam wasn’t sure if Peter wanted to avoid the topic all together and didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.

Peter’s mom was in the adjoining room to theirs as they made their way in.

“Hi boys, how was the rest of the event?”

“It was great, Mom,” Peter said, poking his head through the door to her room.

“Yeah, it was crazy how many people were there,” Sam added, shucking off his tie and jacket as he moved into the room.

“Any crazy things happen after I left?”

“No-”

“Sammy got hit on by some girl.”

“Hey! Why is that so crazy?” Sam responded as he heard Ms. Maldonado’s laughter coming from the other room.

“Not crazy that it happened, Sam,” she said, “Peter, be nice.”

“Yeah Pete, be nice,” Sam joked knocking Peter through the doorway. “I’m a catch, dontcha know?”

Peter laughed small but bright. His polite public smile was shed for a real one, lips slightly turned up as he giggled. His eyes were locked with Sam’s as they stood in the doorway, each leaning against the opposite jam. Peter’s nose crinkled for a second as he used it to move his glasses up his face. Sam’s traitorous heart began beating way too fast.

“Well, I think I’m going to turn in. I am beat! Night, Ms. Maldonado.” He finally turned away from Peter to look at his mother. He waved at her as she said “Good night!”

Sam bumped Peter again on his way back into their room, the contact sending a spark through his shoulder. Peter walked all the way into his mom’s room as Sam went about changing into his pajamas. By the time Sam was ready for bed and back out into the room, Peter had changed and was lounging on his bed. The door between the two rooms was shut, leaving Peter and Sam alone again. Sam turned off the lights flopped down on his own bed. The TV softly hummed in the background, casting Peter in soft light as he turned and faced Peter.

“Thanks for doing that, by the way,” Sam said, “That girl was driving me up the wall.”

“Yeah, of course dude.”

Sam laughed. “Like usually I’m okay with talking to girls, but she was just terrible! I didn’t expect you to get so… possessive though. She probably thinks we’re like dating now.” Sam’s brain to mouth filter had apparently taken an eternal holiday, since it would have never let him actually turn his honest to god feelings into the butt of his own joke. An intense sense of dread sent a rock to the bottom of his stomach as he clenched his jaw.

Luckily, Peter just laughed. “Yeah, well, she was getting a little too friendly with you.” The end of his sentence was more of a mumble than anything.

Sam hadn’t missed it, but being one never to let Peter off the hook he said, “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

Peter huffed before he spoke, “I mean, she was touching your arm and being all… I don’t know. It’s dumb.” He rolled back over facing away from Sam.

“Dude, it’s not dumb. She wasn’t even being very nice about you so I don’t know why you’d be nice about her.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was all, ‘Oh Sam, you’re so funny. You’re way better than Peter!’” He could feel Peter rolling his eyes from across the room.

“Yeah, okay whatever, I get it. You didn’t need me.” Peter pulled the blanket more over himself and turned onto his back.

“Hey,” Sam called out, “I’m serious. She tried to compliment me by insulting you. Like, what kind of plan is that? You’re my best friend. Bros before hoes, dude.”

“Aww, dude.”

“And I thanked you for your help. I was too tired to come up with an excuse. So like, if you were jealous of her you have no reason to be.”

Just the thought of Peter being jealous over some girl drove Sam a bit wild. But Peter just hummed in response and the conversation was over. It hadn’t gone perfectly, but things rarely did with Peter. Sam had said his piece, and maybe Peter believed him, maybe he didn’t. But Sam knew that Peter had been jealous. He knew that even if Peter didn’t reciprocate his exact feelings, he was still feeling strongly enough to react so fiercely. He even pulled out his press smile just to help Sam out of a sticky situation.

So it wasn’t perfect, but Sam thought it was nice.

Perfect. Nice. What’s the difference?

—

Sam had been content to let it sit. He had been fine with Peter and him living out their lives as film partners/best friends until they retired rich and powerful. All throughout their second season, living with Peter was driving him wild. They weren’t just some weird sort of hometown heroes anymore, they were certifiable documentarians, and with that came a very different sense of self.

They had been out of practice for almost 2 years. The schedule and filming and equipment were different, but when they lights went out, it was just Peter, Sam, and their subject. Watching Peter light up the room and run down an interview like it was a sneaky interrogation drove a spike in Sam’s resolve. It had been a long time since he realized his feelings for Peter. It had been a long time since he realized that maybe- just maybe- there was a chance Peter liked him back. So why was he so scared?

It all came to a head one night when planning for the next day’s shoot. They were going to return to St. Bernardine’s the next day to do some more interviews of the students there and finish out the afternoon by returning to Kevin’s. It was going to be a typical shooting day, nothing out of the ordinary - if you think documenting poop crimes wasn’t out of the ordinary.

They had mapped out their route, let the crew know of the plan, then gotten ready to eat. So far, they had mostly made it on pre-cooked meals or take out, but tonight was different. Tonight, Peter Maldonado decided he was going to cook dinner. For Sam. (Well, for them both, but it was only them.)

Oh fuck.

Sam caught a glimpse of him in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove as he listened to a podcast playing from his phone. He had told Sam he was going to cook, which recently meant either Ramen, Kraft Mac & Cheese, or frozen chicken nuggets, but tonight meant some pasta dish that wasn’t recognizable. Peter was cooking chicken in one pan while boiling pasta in a pot.

“What’s this?” Sam asked from where he was lurking in the doorway.

Peter jumped a bit before turning to meet Sam’s eye, “I was tired of the packaged stuff and asked my mom for some suggestions.”

Sam smiled at him before asking, “Need any help?” He was quickly swept up in Peter’s instructions to cut up some vegetables to be cooked after the chicken. They carefully moved around each other as they prepared the meal, commenting on the podcast playing as they went, and in what felt like no time at all, they were done. Sam moved to plate the pasta and set it on the counter by Peter who then added the sauce, chicken, and vegetables. It was all extremely domestic, and far too much for Sam’s traitorous brain to handle.

‘What if-’s began flooding his mind with unplanned scenarios of a life he didn’t feel like could ever truly be his. Lives unattainable, yet so powerful to him, he was jealous over his fictional self for living them.

What if we were already dating and I could grab his hand right now as we ate? What if we lived together and cooked dinner together every night? What if the documentary never happened? What if I never talked to him that first day in middle school?

With every question he would imagine a scenario with the same ending. He and Peter would still be together, still a dynamic duo that could accomplish anything. They would spend as much time together and were dedicated to each other. The journey would be different, but the ending the same.

What if I told him?

The last one stuck with Sam the most. In all seriousness, he wasn’t sure the answer to the question, and he couldn’t exactly predict what Peter’s response would be, but he was falling deeper down the rabbit hole trying to be realistic. All through dinner, Sam’s mind kept wandering to how that night could go. How maybe he could just grab Peter’s hand and tell him. Maybe he could. Maybe.

They finished up and began cleaning- back to domestic chores. Peter collected the dishes as Sam rolled up his sleeves to get to work scrubbing the pots and pans used. As he finished, Peter moved to taking them from Sam and drying them off. Sam had two more pots to go and his heart was beating- hungry for some sort of emotional resolution.

Fuck this.

“Hey Pete?”

He hummed a response.

“I…” Sam lost his resolve. He had been so ready to finally come clean, but this wasn’t a fantasy. This was real life and once he said his piece, there was no going back.

Then Peter’s eyes met his and he asked, “What’s up, Sammy?”

“I like you, Peter. Like, in a more than friends way- and not a ‘bro, I like you, no homo’ like- I mean- a full homo- a full homo way.” The words tumbled out of his mouth and he watched as Peter’s expression turned from something soft and open, to something charged.

His eyes squinted just a bit as his mouth opened ever so slightly. Sam waited for Peter to respond, to say something- anything - but he didn’t. All Peter did was set down the pot he was drying off, wipe his hands on his jeans, push his glasses up his face, and kiss Sam in one swift movement.

Wait - what?

He had missed slightly, lips landing closer to the corner of Sam’s mouth rather than square on, but with his mouth came his hands. They cradled Sam’s face, adjusting the angle so that they met perfectly this time. Sam’s brain finally caught up to the situation, causing him to drop the pan into the sink and splash them both with soapy water.

His hands clutched at Peter’s waist as he responded in full. They pulled back a second later, wet and soapy. Peter’s shirt has wet splotches and wrinkles where Sam’s hands had been, as well as an assortment of other spots resulting from Sam’s poor reflexes.

“So… like…do you-”

“I full homo you too, Sammy.” Peter said, laughing his way through the end.

Sam just smiled back and pulled him in again - wet shirt and dished be damned.

[honeycomq]

        why , hello hello !  the  name’s  simba  and  i’m  vvv  much  excited  for  this  !!!  i’m  getting  this  out  late  because  people  kept  bothering  me  &  i  couldn’t  get  on  as  much  as  i  wanted  to.  i’m  not  new  to  rp  but  i  did  take  a  little  leave  on  it.  i’m  eighteen  cisfem,  and  is  a  huge  soft  dumbass.  i’m  making  a  discord  as  this  is  being  posted  so  i’ll  edit  this  with  it  afterwards.  this  into  is  for  :  YOLANDA  CHAVEZ,  my  used  to  be  delta  nu  lady  until  she  realized  that  she  supported  it,  but  it  wasn’t  her.

        *   ☆  ◞  SOFIA CARSON. CISFEM. SHE/HER.  ◟  wait, wasn’t that YOLANDA CHAVEZ? they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old JUNIOR, hailing from SEATTLE, WASHINGTON. i heard they’ve chosen to study ANIMATION / CINEMATOGRAPHY while living at PALLIDIUM HALL (UNIT 205). word around campus is that they’re INDUSTRIOUS & CONVIVIAL but also quite ARROGANT & IMPETUOUS. if you happen to see them walking to class with their earbuds in, they’re probably listening to BAD LUCK by KHALID. ( simba, 18, cst, she/her. )

delta  nu  &  zeta  theta  zeta  had  a  baby . and  it’s  THIS  beautiful  bitch  right  here .

she  was  the  outcome  of  a  romantic  honeymoon  in  hawaii , and  was  cherished  since .  sadly  was  the  only  child  -  in  her  mother’s  eyes  at  least .  possible wanted connection

their  financial  status  was  quite  moderate  as  her  mom  had  a  job  working  in  real  estate  &  her  dad  was  a  camera  guy  for  tv  shows.  it  wasn’t  until  her  dad  filmed  a  top  notch  that  really  put  them  on  the  map  and  bumped  them  up  into  somewhat  upperclass .

they  moved  to  seattle  when  yoyo ( don’t  call  her  this  unless  you  no  longer  want  to  live  )  was  just  eleven .  her  grandmother  on  her  mother’s  side  had  just  passed  and  they  inherited  the  house  she  lived  in  as  well  as  that  money  she  always  told  them  never  existed .  BOY  was  granny  a  liar .

to  say  the  extra  cash  got  to  her  mother’s  head  would  be  an  understatement  as  this  is  what  made  her  become  the  major  pain  in  the  ass  yolanda  has  to  deal  with  now .

honestly ??  she  was  always  a  daddy’s  girl  to  begin  with  so  it  didn’t  come  as  a  shock  to  realize  that  at  some  point  if  her  mother  were  to  get  hit  by  a  bus , she’d  be  driving  that  bus .

was  told  that  she  was  too  nice  growing  up  .  i  mean , the  girl  watched  winnie  the  pooh  and  dragon  tales  when  in  middle  school  so  i  see  why  .  BUT  her  mother  was  just  saying  that  because  she  assumed  half  of  her  daughter’s  friends ???  were  just  using  her  for  money  .

which  wasn’t  true  but  nevermind  on  that .

had  good  intentions  and  was  basically  a  sweet  person  up  until  her  senior  year .

it  was  now  time  to  determine  what  college  to  attend  to  .  she  applied  to  any  &  all  universities  that  she  could  -  which  was  easy  thanks  to  her  27  on  the  act  .  *coughs*  how  i  dream  *coughs*

at  first  she  didn’t  spare  nyu  a  second  glance  since  her  parents  went  there  .  but  she  saw  that  they  had  a  pretty  good  department  for  her  chosen  secret  majors  so  hey  ,  why  tf  not  .

here’s  why  the  fuck  not  :  her  MOTHER  .

yolanda  felt  like  she  was  hit  with  a  cement  truck  after  all  the  pestering  her  mother  did  about  it  .  dad  was  just  like  :  that’s  coolio  .

was  taken  on  a  tour  of  nyu  by  both  of  them  and  man  ,  had  she  wished  the  administration  would’ve  changed  since  then  .  they  were  all  over  her  parents  ,  and  damn  near  praised  the  path  they  had  walked  on  .  turns  out  that  momma  and  papa  were  some  well - known  students  .  which  led  to  the  president  of  the  delta  nu  house  at  the  time  to  convince  her  to  follow  in  her  mother’s  footsteps  .

to  be  real  ???  she  only  did  it  as  it  gained  her  friends  much  faster  .  plus  the  house  was  pretty  as  fuck  .

after  getting  accepted  ,  she  thought  everything  was  peaches  and  cream  .  what  a  LIE  !!!

her  freshman  year  was  hell  on  earth  -  it  was  so  bad  she  barely  passed  .  she  got  on  academic  probation  twice  and  had  her  nudes  leaked  .  til  this  day  she  still  has  no  fucks  to  give  to  the  person  who  sent  them  out  .  be  aware

sophomore  year  was  okay  .  she  fucked  up  a couple  times  but  it  was  okay  .  it  wasn’t  until  her  second  semester  when  she  realized :  wait  ...  what  the  hell  happened  to  me  ?!?!?!?!

went  on  a  self  discovery  journey  in  february  and  finally  made  the  decision  to  make  herself  happy  .  this  led  to  the  leaving  of  the  delta  nu  house  .  plus  ,  she  got  into  an  argument  with  a  girl  who  really  opened  her  eyes  so  she  quickly  YEETED  out  there  asap  .

after  coming  to  the  realization  that  so  much  shit  happened  because  of  who  she  tried  to  be  ,  this  was  when  yolanda  decided  to  step  the  fucK  up  &  try  to  change  things  .  

this  wasn’t  easy  as  her  mother  was  informed  of  her  leave  and  was  simply  outraged  .  not  only  did  her  daughter  take  up  useless  majors  (  did  i  mention  that  mother  dearest  wished  she  had  gone  into  law  or  pre - med  ???  )  but  she  left ??  behind  ??  a  ??  LEGACY ?????????

almost  got  cut  off  but  her  dad  didn’t  allow  it  as  he  found  her  self  discovery  to  be  inspiring  .

in  conclusion  :  yolanda  knew  she  was  a  bitch  but  turned  into  a  bigger  one  trying  to  fit  into  her  mother’s  legacy  .  soon  noticed  it  wasn’t  someone  she  liked  so  now  she’s  fixing  everything  that  she  can.

FUN  FACTS  !!!!!

she’s  a  cancer  sun ,  aries  moon  .

very  straight forward  (  sometimes  )   but  honest  .  can  be  a  bit  arrogant  but  it’s  extremely  rare  .

day  drinker  .  only  certain  people  and  maybe  1 - 2  girls  at  delta  nu  know  this  .

eASILY  stressed  !!!

cares  about  the  environment  and  will  fuck  a  bitch  up  if  they  dare  litter  .

on  the  swim  and  soccer  team  .  used  to  do  volleyball  but  after  getting  a  spike  to  the  face  she’s  retired .

apart  of  the  earth  matters  &  photography  club  .  wants  to  start  a  film  club  where  they  discuss  movies  (  like  in  scream  2  )  but  is  afraid  to  flop  .

drunk  texter  .  will  avoid  you  in  the  morning  if  she  does  this  .

compulsive  shopper  !!!  even  for  people  she  barely  talks  to  ,  she  WILL  purchase  that  sweater  in  their  size  in  case  they  need  it  .

says  sorry  a  lot  but  it’s  hard  detecting  if  she  means  it  or  not  .

adding  on  to  above  ,  yolanda  would  go  out  of  way  if  she  generally  is  apologetic.

still  parties  with  the  zetas  but  lowkey  ??  can’t  stand  them  POVGIUEWBJNK  .  also  they  remind  her  too  much  of  her  father  .

[celticheartedfangirl]

25 Fucking Stupid Writing Choices OUAT Made

This post is a snarky response to Adam and Eddy’s little humble brag article that came out today:

http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/14/once-upon-time-crazy-storylines/

This is meant to be snarky and critical and if you don’t like that -- don’t read it.  (MY post, not the link above.)  

Look, I am a OUAT fan an there are many things I love about the show.  But there are many I just DON’T LOVE and I think they’re worth discussing.  If you don’t like criticism, you won’t like this post.  That’s fine.  

Thank you for all the suggestions!  I think I got quite a bit crammed in here.  

Under the cut for length and so as not to upset those who only want to ‘think lovely thoughts’ . . . . . 

25. Here’s a magic doohickey thingy we’ve never heard of before but NOW we’re using this thing.

Look, I’m not gonna list all the MacGuffins this show has used, I’d be here all day and there are worse things they’ve done, and this IS a show about magic after all.  

But there’s also such a thing as overkill.  And there was too much MacGuffin use that we didn’t know about before in this show. It was far too convenient and usually used as a cop out in lieu of – you know – actual STORY TELLING. THAT is my MacGuffin issue.  Don’t use it to replace character development.  We’re not here for that.  

24.  The Lost Boys/The Untold Stories and Other Dropped Plots

So the Lost Boys -- Did they get homes? Did they grow up?  I don’t know!  Do you?  Of course not – we’ll never know!

What about all those Untold Stories folks?  Weren’t there a bunch of them?  Are they still meandering around in Storybrooke?

Edited to add:  Maleficent and Lily.  SO SORRY I forgot to initially include you in this one.  My bad.  You are missed, ladies!  

Edited once more to add:  Poor Gideon.  Both parents dead and his extended family doesn’t give a shit about him.  Or at least I assume so because we don’t know where he is.  The child of Beauty and the Beast -- treated like a disposable plot device.  Nice.

OUAT is great with creating and LOUSY with follow through.  I know there are many others.  But there shouldn’t be.  There shouldn’t be that many dropped plots on this show.  If you’re not going to follow through with a story line, why add the characters AT ALL?  Speaking of that . . .

23.  JFC, how many new characters do we NEED on this show???

Especially since you still haven’t figured out what to do with some of the ones that are CONTRACT PLAYERS on your show!  Hey, didn’t Archie and Ruby used to be those?  (Waves hi to Belle!  Also the Charmings post S4.  More on that later.)

22.  You know – Rumple is Henry’s GRANDFATHER

He is!  Really!  

You’d never fucking KNOW IT, would you?  The erasure of any sort of familial relationship with Henry/Rumple was a damned shame.  And much of that, I believe, was because if they acknowledged THAT, they’d have to mention the character they want us to forget.  More on that later.

21.  The Shattered Sight Hype

Remember what a BIG DEAL the whole Shattered Sight thing was gonna be in S4?  OMG people say what they REALLY FEEL about each other!  It’s gonna be EPIC!!!

And then it – wasn’t. We basically got some Snowing/Evil Queen snark, Henry bitching at Hook, and Belle – well, Belle was asleep – what else is new?  

I think of all the things that were PROMOTED as something amazing for this show – this is the one that was a big old dud and a whole lot of NOTHING.

20.  Belle’s mom/Belle is written out of her own storyline in S6

In Family Business we met Belle’s Mom for about two minutes.  Then she was dead.  And Belle didn’t remember what happened.  And then – we never heard about it again.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to know what happened there.  Why didn’t Belle remember?  Did Moe get a roofie magic thingy from Arthur?  Did Belle’s mom turn into an ogre and she killed her and blocked it out?

SO MANY possibilities there. But hey – it’s just Belle.  Why write a story for HER?  

In the same regard -- whatever your thoughts are on Rumbelle in S6 (MHO – it was garbage and an OOC shit fest, but that’s just me) – what happened with Gideon – Belle’s SON – was because of HER CHOICE.  Choices have consequences.  And in GOOD WRITING – the person that MADE the choice that caused the mess is supposed to be the person to help CLEAN IT UP.

But apparently – it was a better thing for ZELENA of all people to be the one to do that.  And Emma and Hook too.  Because why the hell not, right?  That makes all the sense.  

Yes, Rumple played his part too in the whole Gideon mess.  And he did get to take part in the resolution.  But that was something they should have done TOGETHER (what a concept!), and overall Belle was just – not part of it.  Even in the last two minutes they sidelined her with a sprained ankle.  Absolutely ridiculous.    Which leads me to . . . .

19.  Belle being sidelined since Season Two.

OUAT brought the lovely Emilie de Ravin onto the show as a regular cast member in Season Two, and had no fucking idea what to do with her character.  So she gets fridged.  She gets stuck in the hospital, left behind while the rest go to Neverland, she’s very fond of naps, she’s forgotten about in Camelot, not cared about while in a sleeping curse because the “heroes” care more about “stopping” her “evil” hubby (see #17) and written out of her own damn storyline in 6B (see #20) – and then she’s dead. (More on that later.)

I love Belle.  I love Rumbelle.  And I will forever be resentful that for the bulk of her time on the show, the character of Belle, one of my fictional heroes, was written as nothing but a plot device.  She deserved so much better.  

18.  The Musical Episode

I mean – if this nonsense (and it WAS nonsense) had moved the story forward, I could maybe – MAYBE – let this one slide.  But it didn’t.  It just rehashed the same shit that we had been talking about for 6 seasons.  And then Hook married Emma and her Stepford Wife conversion therapy was complete.  (More on that later.)  This episode WILL NOT HOLD UP in the future.  Future generations will be “WTF-ing” all over the place with this one, mark my words.  

17.  Rumple is a Hero – no he’s a Villain – No wait he’s a hero, nope a villain, make up your DAMN MIND WRITERS!!!!!

I got whiplash trying to follow the trajectory of Rumple’s story, as many times as they changed his characterization.  He’s a villain – then in 3A he’s a hero.  Then he’s the victim of a molester and kidnapper and show doesn’t address that AT ALL. Oops he’s evil again.  Except now he’s not – his heart is PURE!  He pulled Excalibur out of the rock, he’s a HERO! Nah – he’s dark again.  Bad Rumple!  Oooh now he’s REALLY DARK and his fetus with no brain stem hates him and his wife is living on a boat with his sworn ENEMY while pregnant, so he traps here there (!!!!!) and he’s macking on the Evil Queen . . . come ON.  Enough already.

Rumple is a complex character.  You can’t just flip/flop willy nilly with a complex character.  You have to know how to write them as nuanced, and CONSISTENLY complex but never falling fully into one camp or the other of ‘good’ or ‘evil.’

Rumple is played by Robert Carlyle, one of the best actors around.  And the ONLY saving grace from the horrible writing of this character over the years is the fact that Bobby knew how to play him most of the time – even when the writers didn’t know how to WRITE HIM.  Which was almost ALL the time.  

16.  Hook is a Dark One/Resurrecting Dead Hook/Hook the Gary Stu

I toyed with ranking the dark one higher on the list and as its own thing because really, this reveal caused the biggest MID EPISODE ratings drop in the history of the show up to that point.  Nobody liked it.  Nobody wanted it. And it ended up being a setup to the ‘Save Hook’ trajectory because of COURSE of all the characters in the history of the show, HE was the one that deserved saving THE MOST.  But I think all of these things tie together.  

What this moment did was solidify the fact that Hook was officially a “Stu” character.  He definitely had Gary Stu tendencies up to this point, and was basically an irritant to anyone but CS/Hook fans, but from here on?  That’s pretty much all he was and all he’d ever be until he was replaced (or should I say upgraded?) by his doppelganger.  

I combined the DO/Save Hook/Stu thing because it was in the Underworld that Hook’s full Stu-pification took place.  There wasn’t a line of people he had murdered wanting a word with him – as there SHOULD HAVE BEEN.  

And Hook still got to keep all his murder trinkets when he got resurrected and made out with his girlfriend over Robin’s grave.  What a guy.

15.  Regina/The Evil Queen Stay Split

I’m just saying – wouldn’t it have been better character growth for Regina to have to live with her ‘evil’ half than to split it off?  And no, the ‘heart mixing’ thing doesn’t count.  I get that the whole thing was really fan service to the Outlaw Queen fandom.  But that doesn’t make it good writing.  

14.  The Wish Realm

Oh, I could write a whole post about this (and I may do that at some point) but there are so many damn holes in the whole Wish Realm mess I wouldn’t even know where to start.  But so many things about it just DO NOT line up in a sensible way.  And even if you find one that DOES, it’ll create three things that DON’T line up.  

I’d have bought a ‘parallel universe’ over the ‘wish realm’ stuff.  They could have gone with that and it would have made much more sense. But you know – they wanted dead Belle, dead Baelfire, dead Snowing, no Emma and old Hook so – Wish realm it was. I just got to a point where I didn’t care anymore.  But that doesn’t negate the stupid.  

13.  The Timeline

The timeline in OUAT made sense – and then it didn’t.  And then they just stopped trying.  And I stopped caring.  But for paid, professional writers – just not cool.  DO YOUR JOB!!!!!

12.  Will Scarlett

Do I really need to say any more here?  No? Didn’t think so.  Moving on.  

11.  Neal’s Apartment in New York City

Have you ever been to NYC? Places of residence are at a premium there.  There is no way in hell that an abandoned apartment wouldn’t have been emptied and taken over by a new resident in that much time.  And I’m sorry, but odds are Neal did NOT pre-pay his rent for TWO YEARS out.  

10.  Belle and Hook – Best Friends Forever!*

You know – no woman with a brain in her head would befriend a man who straight up tried to murder her FOUR TIMES.  So, either Belle doesn’t have a brain in her head, or that’s some crap writing right there. (My vote is with the latter if you’re wondering.)

It was bad enough when Belle was just handing over the dagger to “Hook” in S4 (yes, I know it was Rumple but details shmetails, Belle didn’t know that), but a PREGNANT BELLE going to live on a boat with Hook to be ‘safe’ – come on. Who does that?  I get that Adam and Eddy wanted to wave the middle finger at the Rumbelle fandom, but they could have found a way to do that without making Belle look STUPID.  

*Honorable mention to Belle/Zelena being friends which was equally as stupid

9.  Zelena is Marian

Come ON – they pulled that one out of their asses halfway through S4 because they wanted to find a way to bring back Bex.  There was NO INDICATION of that until the reveal.  Because it didn’t EXIST until the reveal.  Ridiculous.  

8.  Making the Charmings Supporting Players

Starting with S4, Snow and David basically became secondary characters.  They had MOMENTS, but overall they were on the backburner and if they left the show at any point – would it have made a difference to ANY of the trajectory they were playing out?  I’d say no.  

I mean – how the hell did that happen?  How do you run out of ideas with the couple that you touted as THE ‘main couple’ after only three seasons?  I don’t get it.  

7.  Golden Queen

Just no.  There was never anything romantic between these two characters.  It was stupid and out of character for both of them.  No.  

6.  Queer baiting 101

If you gender-swapped either Emma or Regina – made one of them a man – they’d be banging by S2 and by the end of the series they’d be married with at least two more kids and three break-ups/reunions between them.  (Hey, I watch soaps, I know how this shit works.)

The chemistry between the actors is there.  They share a kid.  But they’re both women.  And you know – family show -- #nohomo and all.   Sure.  

The writers KNEW that Swan Queen was popular.  Now okay – if ABC didn’t want to go there, fine.  I don’t agree with that, but fine.

But don’t keep freaking queer baiting your fans every chance you get!  It never stopped.  In fact, it got progressively WORSE as the show went on!  That’s just bullshit right there.  Either do it or drop it.  Because what OUAT did with Emma and Regina and the baiting of their fans was just flat out shitty.  

And if that weren’t bad enough, we got the whole queer baiting with Mulan/Aurora, and THEN in S5 we’re handed Dorothy/Ruby as a token olive branch to the LGBT community and then – we never see them again!  

Okay, in S7 they got on the right track with Alice and Robin.  I will give them that.  But after six years of baiting, it kind of rang hollow for many, and rightly so.

5.  Hey, Here’s a Person of Color – Let’s Kill Them!

One of the first warnings I give to any new OUAT is ‘don’t get attached to any POC’ and with good reason. They don’t last long on OUAT.

Now I don’t want to assume or accuse any of the OUAT writers of flat out racism but . . .. . you’ve gotta admit – they don’t have the best track record there.  

It’s especially obvious when they bring on a character that is compelling and portrayed by a charismatic actor that the audience enjoys.  Lancelot, Merlin, and Facilier are the three best examples of that. Okay, so Lance was resurrected but – where’d he go?  Is he still trying to undo dead-Arthur’s roofie on Guinevere?  

And then we have an amazing hero and a compelling villain in Merlin and Facilier, respectively.  Both of these characters – and their actors – were bright spots in the show.  So naturally – they needed to die.  Without their storylines resolved.  

But it was just a coincidence that they weren’t white.  Of course it was.  

4.  The Death of Belle

Yeah, yeah, I know, Beauty was a beautifully written episode and Bobby and Emilie loved it and we got some great moments, blah blah blah . . . . . . but was it NECESSARY?  Did they REALLY NEED to kill off Belle?  You’re telling me that there’s absolutely, positively, not one plausible scenario for S7 wherein Belle is in Hyperion Heights and Rumple can find a way to rid himself of the darkness WITH HER THERE???? Really?  They couldn’t write even one lousy full season of Rumbelle (hello BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) happy and in love with struggles but still beating the darkness in the end?  Really??? There weren’t any options for that scenario AT ALL????  Give me a break.  

3.  The Stepford Swan

Over the course of seven years, many of the OUAT characters suffered with out- of-character moments. It’s not uncommon and I would even venture to say that this happens on occasion on MOST television shows.  But on OUAT, it was a common occurrence from Season Four onward.  And NONE of the characters experienced as much of an out of character de-evolution as Emma Swan.

When we first met Emma Swan she was a badass, intelligent, independent woman.  Yes, she had her issues and her inner demons and we saw her work past those as the series progressed.  

And then . . . . she got a boyfriend.  And he became the center of her universe.  And Emma – changed.  The writers (and Jennifer Morrison) will swear up and down that it was an ‘evolution’ but I’m sorry – a character that starts OUT like this:

Does not END UP like this:

That’s not evolution. That’s a shell of a woman dependent on a man for her self-worth.  That’s NOT who Emma Swan is.  This was THE worst character assassination on the show, and I’d say it’d be up (down?) there in the top 10 (er, bottom 10?) of worst character assassinations in all of television. What a shame.  

2.  Rapists – rapists everywhere!

Once Upon a Time has always been marketed as a family show.  For a family show – there’s sure a heck of a lot of rape in it.  

The first CANON rapist we have is Regina and her 28+ year imprisonment and repeated sexual assault of Graham.  Regina came a long way as a character in the show’s 7-year run – but it would have done great service to her if this had been addressed somehow.  Now, I know that Jamie Dornan is all famous and off making money playing Christian Grey but – you know, in this particular case – I’d have been good with either a recast or at the VERY least an apologetic mention.  But we never got that.

And that’s the problem with every rapey issue on this show – it’s never addressed for what it is. In fact – it’s really not addressed at all.  Hook’s rape jokes in S2 are treated like ‘playful banter’ by the writers, cast, and viewers alike.  Zelena’s ‘Hester the Molester’ stuff with Rumple in S3 doesn’t even warrant a discussion. Hook’s rapey innuendo in the CS movie is also waved off.  Then we have Zelena raping Robin in S4, Arthur magic roofie-ing Guinevere and probably raping her in S5 (Is she still roofied?  Who knows!), and Mother Gothel raping Nook in S7.

That’s a hell of a lot of rape for a “family show.”  And aside from the off-handed comment from Robin about lack of consent with Zelena, none of it is addressed for what it is – RAPE.  

1.  The Death of Baelfire/Neal Cassidy

In Season One there were three main story line arcs driving the series:  Regina’s war with Snow White, Emma as The Savior, and Rumpelstiltskin’s quest to reunite with his son, Baelfire.  All three stories intertwined, and it only made sense that the trajectory of the show would be that in the end, all of these characters would somehow come together, as they all were tied to one character:  Henry.

Unfortunately, the writers made the foolish decision in Season Three to execute one of the main (if not THE main) driving forces on the show.  Baelfire/Neal was connected to all of the aforementioned people, and his loss was a blow to everyone.  At least it should have been. But that’s not what we saw.

Not only was Neal/Baelfire killed off – he was flat out ERASED from the show.  His name from the point of his death on was rarely brought up. We didn’t get to see anyone truly mourn or grieve him.  (Okay Rumple, but BARELY – and anyone who has lost a child understands that it’s quite possibly the deepest type of grief imaginable.  I’m told you never get over it.)  As the show moved forward, you could literally spot the times when the writers made deliberate dialogue choices to avoid saying the name Neal/Baelfire in places where it not only made sense, it was WARRANTED.  

Let’s be REAL here – we all know the “reason” Bae/Neal was written off the show.  I don’t care what the writers say.  I’m not an idiot and neither are you.  And I’m sorry, but if the ONLY WAY you can think of to make a “romance” happen on a show is to kill off a character that would be forever “in the way” of said romance – you’re not a skilled enough writer to be writing a television show for a major network.  I mean – it works in spiteful fanfic (which I am more than guilty of writing).  But for a television show?  The viewers deserve better than that.  NEAL/BAELFIRE and every character that ever loved him deserved better than that.  

I know I probably missed a bunch but I really did try to hit the highlights and put them in the order they deserved.

Thoughts?  Comments?  If you think I’m missing a tag for this (I’m doing my best) let me know and I’ll add it.