#this was actually very very fun and I did while watching serenity and that also made me happy

[comicaurora]

If you still have Sailor Moon on the brain, did watching it at all give you any options you wish to share about other magical girl esk media you wish existed or your own take on how you would create a story in that media space?

If not, then maybe, if you're inclined to, recount some interesting findings about the connections that exist between shojo and shonen media?

(If neither then please disregard, sorry for imposing)

It was interesting! I was surprised at how much it had in common with shonen action anime. Half the boss battles get resolved with a beam clash and the only difference between Super Saiyan and Neo Queen Serenity is whether the hair or the outfit changes.

The one part I found myself sliding off of - due to personal writing preference - is how Usagi is the defacto center of the universe and everyone else is very explicitly playing support. That's part of why I liked the Outer Senshi so much - because they've all got their own ludicrously OP stuff going on, they feel more like equals to Usagi than glorified bodyguards. The inner planet senshi get their own character arcs, which is excellent, but after a while it's pretty clear that none of them can ever finish a fight without Sailor Moon. And that's fine, that's the pretense of the story - their jobs are very explicitly to protect the turbopowerful demigoddess moon princess while she gets her act together enough to remember she can win - but I prefer writing an ensemble cast where everyone feels like the hero of their own story, not the support in someone else's, and that's pretty much antithetical to the core premise of the show.

It also has a lot of the hallmarks of a soft magic system that I personally struggle with - the old "you win by believing in yourself" thing basically means "you win when the plot demands it would be most interesting for you to win" - but again, they can get away with a lot by letting the actual core premise of the universe's power system be stuff like "a pure heart gives you strength" and "the power of love will legitimately make you more powerful." And I respect that the show doesn't just give people powerups whenever - one of the parts I found most emotionally impactful was in the finale of season 3, when Sailor Saturn is going to fight the big bad all by herself and will 100% definitely die in the process, and because Sailor Moon has sacrificed the season's macguffin, she can no longer transform into her powered-up form to help - which doesn't stop her from screaming the transformation phrase over and over, because she is desperate to save Sailor Saturn even if she's been told it can't possibly work. When she gets her The Most Purest Heart Ever powerup at the last possible second, that feels excellent because it's a profoundly impactful character moment that's being supported by the plot with a tangible powerup. It's pretty telling that we don't even see the final bossfight; it's not about the spectacle or the beam clash, it's about the character arcs that surround them. I think that's a really interesting way to handle it and to add depth to an otherwise basic "whose number is bigger" style struggle.

I'm also deeply fond of paragons, and as the seasons go on I really like how Usagi's ultimately kind personality drives her to constantly help, no matter the personal cost or how aggressively people try to dissuade her - and I like that she gets angry and frustrated and even says or does harsh things sometimes, but will ultimately always do what she thinks is right. It makes her feel like a real human being, and the "weaknesses" and flaws in her character - aka the parts that make her something more complicated than a perfectly stoic problem-solving machine - are a lot of fun to watch.

Personal preference, I'd like to see more magical girl stuff where the central pillar of the plot is not a constant will-they-won't-they het romance - but I also like how Sailor Moon as a series is legitimately aware that this is not actually the de facto most important relationship for everyone. Surprising multitude of gay characters aside, I recently caught a season 2 episode where Makoto donates blood to save a close friend, and explains to Usagi that she isn't in love with him, but they have an incredibly profound friendship that's more important to her than any boyfriend, a concept with startles and confuses Usagi. It seems to be a case where the heroine has a Foundational Romantic Subplot that defines the course of her life and the plot, but the rest of the characters get to have more complicated dynamics where their life goals aren't "omg boys", and I liked that a lot!

When comparing and contrasting it to shonen action anime, I think the magical girl genre manages to integrate the lower-stakes slice of life elements significantly more smoothly, and to great effect - the 90% of the show that's silly and ridiculous makes the 10% of it that's extremely serious and gutwrenching much more impactful. That's something that a lot of shonen series struggle with, where the tone goes from "moderately serious with the occasional goof" to "extremely serious with major character deaths." The magical girl genre going from "the dumbest episode premise you've ever heard" to "extremely serious with major character deaths" is a much more precipitous plunge into icy water, as it were.

When I think about how I would write a magical girl story, I basically just smack into the premise of Exalted. Its worldbuilding has exactly what I want - an interesting system of powerset-reincarnation into worthy hosts that allows for complex interpersonal dynamics through varying levels of memory preservation, several different flavors of magical transforming person including Evil Versions, and the one thing I prioritize in my own writing - a world that feels like it can have a lot of main characters and heroes of their own story. Everyone in Exalted has their own shit going on and their own past-life drama, including former friend groups/adventuring parties, soulmates (both regular and evil versions), and anyone who might've previously killed them. Most importantly for my preferences, there's no default main character of the universe. If I were to make an urban fantasy magical girl setting, I'd probably use an extremely similar premise because I find the ramifications of it unbelievably interesting in a way the system itself is not designed to explore.

[davinashifts333]

WHAT DATING DAMON SALVATORE IS LIKE (DAMONXWITCH!S/O):

⚫️summary; Dating Damon as a Witch!S/O. Reader is a very powerful witch who met Damon & Stefan in 1864 & has been close with them ever since.

⚠️warnings; angst, emotional, horny!Damon, some swearing, if you’re not 18+ go away, smutish topics, blood ofc, etc.

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-knowing the Salvatore brothers was like knowing heaven & hell but mainly… hell…they fought & fought & fought, well you catch my drift & for the stupidest reasons too. Knowing they cared for each other just wasn’t enough. Y/n Y/L/n had to come along to literally rip them apart when they would get physical.

-dating Damon however was insane, if he wasn’t attached at your hip, it’d be his hips rutting into yours… if he wasn’t feeling you near him as much as possible he’d be clinging to you whenever he could…

-his smile? your favorite thing.

-his eyes though? they made you feel like you would ascend at any second.

-you? his drug.

-he made sure to always be romantic & loving when no one saw & even if they did? he’d do so much more just to sicken them.

-dating Damon was full of chaos & getting hurt both physically & emotionally. but overall it was like your 100+ years of friendship actually meant something.

-he knew you like the back of his hand & when he saw your eyes flicker in the same color of your powers? he knew danger was close. as in you being the danger.

-he would try his best to keep you calm but would ultimately fail & watch you slaughter the enemy alongside Bonnie whom you had taught as well.

-he loved watching your anger take over. really? he just loved watching you give into your emotions, knowing you had taken years to let the fear of what you could do go.

-dating Damon was like fire and ice, fighting for domination until one let the other win.

-it was like an eternal spark was lit when you both admitted your feelings while watching your best friend/his brother fall in love.

-“you know, the way he looks at Elena, is how I imagine I look at you.” Damon would accidentally say as your legs laid in his lap & a glass of bourbon in both of your guys’ hands.

-“really? I would say the same but I know i’d do a lot more damage if someone hurt

you. I would probably go on a rampage.” you would reply as his hand ran up your leg, squeezing the flesh slightly as he heard those words leave your lips.

-it would soon turn to broken glass on the floor as he had you pinned to the wall while his lips attacked yours passionately.

-the intense confession became a night of entangled bodies and “i’ve loved you for so long” being repeated over & over.

-from there he’d never let a single hair

on your head get hurt.

-throwing his leather jacket over your shoulder when he saw your cold.

-eyes always looking for you in a room to make sure you were okay.

-PROTECTIVE! BOYFRIEND!

-if he even suspected someone wanted to hurt you, he’d go after them.

-would love to watch you train with Bonnie & Caroline.

-always trying to be the best he can be for you.

-“You know, you look pretty fucking gorgeous when you slam someone into the ground like that. Never knew telekinesis could be so hot.” Damon would say in the middle of a big ass fight.

-“Oh really? One second— Well get used to it tough guy.” You would say between blasting another hybrid into pieces.

-training with Damon & Alaric for fun but also to get their endurance to

magic up.

-being his serenity.

-him being yours but also your chaos.

-Stefan reminding you both that no matter how different you both were you still mended so perfectly together & it only made your heart flutter even more.

-dating Damon Francesco Salvatore is like being protected, loved, needed, desired, cared for, & worshipped all in one.

-but it was also making sure he felt the same love he gave because god knows that man desires that so much.

-he would melt in your touch & would be on his knees for you if you wanted.

-of course with his head between your knees if you wanted too.

-Damon Salvatore, your eternal

soulmate, the one you’d give your life for, the one who’d know exactly what you needed at your worst & the one you’d rip the world apart to protect. Your Forever.

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A/N:

ITS BEEN A WHILE BUT IM BACK & SO READY TO SHARE MY NEW DESIRED REALITIES WITH YALL & MY NEW CONTENT!! HOPE YALL ENJOY!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[lovries]

AQUARIUM DATE

featuring. the dateables (diavolo, barbatos, simeon, solomon).

summary. going on an aquarium date!

warnings. gn! reader.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── DIAVOLO

Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, Diavolo rents out the entirety of the Devildom Aquarium. After a question about Devildom sea creatures earlier in the week, Diavolo made sure to finish up his work by Saturday so he could take you out on a cute little date!

Diavolo also made sure to learn a bunch of facts about the sea creatures native to the Devildom to further impress you, although he won't tell you about how much he studied during his breaks of paperwork. He was excited to show off his knowledge, taking your hand and enthusiastically pulling you through each exhibit.

"Ah, what about this one, Dia?" You say, stopping in front of a large tank that held red-and-black striped fish with two large golden horns on either side of its head. Diavolo hummed, deep in thought as he racked his brain for information on this specific fish.

"That one can poison other fishes with the horns on it head." He informed you, "but they're actually pretty friendly nonetheless." You let out a small 'oh' as you watch the fishes swim around. "Do you like these ones?" He asked, tilting his head in confusion. There were much cuter fishes, much less deadly ones too, but these ones seemed to capture your attention the most.

"I do," You say, glancing between Diavolo and the fish. You can't help but chuckle to yourself, thinking that they kind of look similar. "I think these ones are my favorite." Diavolo only furrows his brows in confusion at your laughter, but seeing you happy puts a smile on his face.

"Well, we have plenty of time to see the other fishes, lets stay here for a little while longer," He says, whilst squeezing your hand firmly. You nod, and continue to watch the fishes whilst he watches you.

(A few days later, you get a delivery— Diavolo sent you a tank along with those fishes you liked so much!?)

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── BARBATOS

Barbatos specifically requested a day off to spend with you, the entire day so you two could go out on a cute little date— and after some research, Barbatos found that aquariums are suitable spots for such activities, so that's where he decided to take you.

"Oh, look!" You gasp nearly as soon as you two enter the building, "Penguins are this way!" You grin, grasping his hand in yours and pulling him along. He freely follows you around, because your amusement is his. "Aw, they're so cute!"

"Very cute indeed," Barbatos agrees, watching as the penguins do a little trick for a fish. You two continue on, going deeper into the aquarium when an announcement through the P.A. System informed everyone that a dolphin show would be beginning soon, and quickly the hallways emptied out. You went to follow the flow of people, but Barbatos gently grabbed your hip and pulled you towards him, until you two were the only people left in the area.

With the dim lights, a gentle glow from the bioluminescent creatures casting amongst you two, you couldn't help but find the atmosphere become incredibly serene. Taking a step closer to Barbatos, you can't help but give him a pointed look.

"Did you see this happening?" You tease, but when he looks off, seeming a little bashful, you can't help but chuckle. Ah, so he did take a little peak in to the future. Well, you can't blame him: The mood was very romantic now. "Well?" You hum, grabbing his attention away from the glowing jellyfishes, "Aren't you going to kiss me?"

Barbatos lets out a soft, breathy chuckle, before pulling you closer and kissing you. As if the fish could understand, they reacted in the most beautiful way— lighting up, dancing like stars in the sky, amongst the water.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── SIMEON

It was fun showing off human realm fish to Simeon, taking him to the aquarium and reading off the plaques to him, or spouting off your own knowledge of certain sea creatures. Simeon was particularly fascinated with the sea horses.

Hand-in-hand, you knew you two would soon be coming towards the last exhibit, as well as the gift shop. Simeon noticed a small spark in your eyes, something mischievous that had his stomach churning in a good way. "What do you have planned?" He asked, brows furrowed.

"Hm? Oh, nothing, nothing." You stop near the gift shop, "Just... Wait here for a few minutes, okay? I'll be right back!" He nods, a bit shocked at your sudden withdrawal.

"Oh, okay- Uhm..." He watches as your figure disappears. He awkwardly stands against the wall, waiting for you, when you suddenly appear with a giant grin and your hands behind your back. He narrows his eyes, "What do you have?"

"Ta-da!" You say, holding up matching sea horse keychains. "One for you, and one for me!" You hand him one, whilst you clasp the keychain on to your bag. "Do you like it?"

Simeon stares at the sea horse keychain in his hands, a soft smile on his lips. His eyes are filled with admiration— you got him a gift? You really didn't have to! Simeon looks up at you, his smile growing. "I love it, thank you."

Simeon makes a silent promise to forever cherish the keychain you gifted him. The fond memories he'll have whenever he looks at it is just much too great for him to not absolutely adore it!

꒰ ♡ ꒱ ─── SOLOMON

You can't help but laugh at Solomon, he has been taking your picture with just about every fish that was at the aquarium. Despite his hatred for big bodies of water, he doesn't seem to mind fish too much. "Ah, look at me!" He calls for you again, taking his phone out and snapping another picture.

You scoff, taking his phone from him. "Enough, let me take some pictures of you now." The following few fishes you take some pictures of Solomon. Damn, he looked adorable, now you understood his obsession...

Clearing your throat, you state you want to take a picture together with him and the fishes. You two find someone willing, and whilst you aren't looking, Solomon mutters a few words and flicks his wrist and-

Upon receiving the phone back, you look at it with a big smile before noticing something very odd— why were the fishes forming a heart around you two? You look over at Solomon, clearly amazed, when he smirks and takes the phone from you.

"I think this is the best one yet." He tells you as you sets it to his lockscreen. He then makes a show of turning off his phone and then turning it back on just to show you his new lockscreen.

You look back at the fish, they've all swam away now. Honestly, you're impressed Solomon got the fish to do such a task, and he's right, that photo is the best one.

"Hmm... Will you send that to me," You ask, and he pretends to think about it before holding his phone out of reach.

"No, I think I'll keep it all to myself." He teases, enjoying the way you frown in annoyance. However he knows better than to test your patience, he promises send you the photo later, along with the several hundred other he took.

﹙ thank you for reading! have a wonderful day! ﹚

[dissociativepouter]

i know it's over. eddie munson

fem!reader, fluff, sfw

warnings: swearing, mention of cigarettes, mention of m*rrissey, first kisses, very slight suggestiveness?, literally just fluff, eddie being stubborn, eddie being a nervous loser (as per usual)

synopsis: rainy days at your friend's house are always fun. it's a shame your stupid feelings have to get in the way.

word count: 639

a/n: thank yall so much for all the likes/reblogs on family video!!!! i loooove attention very much it is always appreciated but anyways i know yall wanted a part 2. but i decided not to continue it because i wanted to make other stuff. i kinda wrote this to make up for it (although it honestly could serve as a part 2 if you wanna look at it that way). ALSO QUICK DISCLAIMER i despise morrissey with every fiber of my being and i hope he rots. just clarifying that i dont support him lolz ok have fun reading

you started to sway as the song began. “oh, mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head.” you sung along quietly. he watched with a dorky smile.

“come on, dance with me!” you extended your hands.

it took what felt like a year to convince him to let you put on the song you were obsessed with, i know it’s over by the smiths. he hated the band, calling morrissey’s voice whiny. you didn’t necessarily disagree, but you fought him on it anyway. you didn’t mind the arguing, and evidently, neither did he. you two were crazy about each other, but refused to admit such feelings.

but still, you stood in his bedroom, swaying loosely to the musings of the band while his cassette player faintly rumbled with the bass, accompanied by rain pattering on the tin roof of his trailer on a chilly april night.

he shook his head, folding his arms.

“i’m not dancing to this shit.”

“yes you are. come on.” you stepped towards him and took his hands from his side.

he rolled his eyes and, feigning annoyance, let you guide him towards you.

you pulled eddie in closer, swaying slightly, letting him get used to the rhythm. a blanket of calm and serenity washed over the room, over the both of you. you felt like you were the only people in the world.

you wrapped your arms around his neck. he wrapped his arms, hesitantly, around your waist. you could tell he was nervous.

“don’t be scared.” you smiled up at him half-mockingly.

“i’m not.” he defended.

you rested your head on eddie’s chest, just savoring his touch, feeling the music around you. you could hear him humming. you could hear his heartbeat quickening. your hand found a lock of his hair at the back of his neck and mindlessly curled it in your fingers. then you felt the vibration of him clearing his throat, then his voice as he spoke.

“i’m glad i met you.”

you closed your eyes, smiling to yourself at his confession.

“me too.” you responded, just above a whisper.

“...you’re glad you met you?” that playful, teasing tone arose in his voice again.

you lightly smacked the back of his head, lifting your face to look at him again.

“you know what i mean.”

“no, i’m not sure i do, actually. could you elaborate for me?” he said with that infamous smile.

you moved your hand inwards to rest on the side of his face, your other arm still wrapped around his neck. his face relaxed a bit, just barely leaning into your touch, a half-confused, half-nervous expression on him.

you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and quickly let it go as you angled your face to the left and gathered all of your courage to stand on your tiptoes, shut your eyes, and press your lips to his.

it was over seconds later than it started, both of you startled, pulling back just a few inches from each other. his eyes were still closed for a second, his face red and warm to the touch. you felt a pang of guilt.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean– i can–”

you began an apology but were quickly cut off by his lips pushing back into yours, his hands running up to hold your face. you gasped softly before falling back into the kiss, a dizzying happiness overwhelming you. you moved your hands down to rest on his chest, pulling him in by the collar of his worn out ozzy osbourne shirt. you were surrounded by him. his smell. his touch. his taste, mint and menthol cigarettes.

you stumbled a bit, giggling, before pulling back, eddie resting his head on your forehead.

“you know what i mean now?”

he smiled, eyes glossy. “yeah. yeah, i think so.”

[marengogo]

5: Marengo & The Rainbow Avengers

Take Two - by BTS  

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

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I meant to post this yesterday, in honour of their birthday, but, 24 hours never seem to be quite enough do they? So, here it is, the SUPER-LONG-DETAIL story of how Marengo was unexpectedly saved by 7 Rainbow Avengers, also known as BTS.

CHAPTER 1: MY HEART WAS BROKEN

The date was January 27; 2019. ARASHI japanese boy band that debuted in 1999 got together and in front of a well organised, and somewhat serene, press setting, televised to their fans all over the world including myself, announced that they would go on an indefinite hiatus starting January 1, 2021. Not sure why I wasn't expecting this. This was the first time they every did something like this, and the tell-tell signs had been plenty, but still, had I been ready, it still would have hit as hard as it did.

I remember silently crying, as Ohno their leader and my bias, who is the one in the middle of the above picture spoke and told us how, basically. he was tired and just wanted to spend his time on his boat fishing his days away. Fishing had always been his passion, but he also always dreamed of becoming the captain of his own ship Monkey D. Luffy watch out!. ARASHI had quite a few of their own shows and in one of them (Arashi Ni Shiayagare) we the fans, and the other members, got to cheer him on as he studied to get a licence to drive a boat. He succeeded, got his boat and for the rest of that year’s show he’d take us on adventures with his boat, fishing with famous Japanese celebrities as guests it was still a show after all. Every time he was on his boat he looked so fucking happy. So when he finally made the announcement, yes, I was shocked, yes, I was distraught, but ultimately I was happy for him. Just a whole STORM arashi means storm of emotions really. 

You need to understand, at that point, I had been their fan since 2009. If my Japanese is at the level it is right now, 1/10 of it is definitely thanks to them, since I used to regularly translate all their songs, dramas, shows, etc. To imagine I only started listening to them as a fun way to help me study Japanese … Anyways, back on track … their announcement happened on my 10 year anniversary (their 20th) and I remember the following day coming back from work, with their music in my ears, stopping at a traffic light wanting to cry as I kept thinking about them and right in that moment, I looked up at the big screen and so the following ad:

That evening was the first time I actually EVER seen the boys. Before that evening I had only  heard about them, A LOT,  and now in hindsight I know why. The first time had been some time in 2017, while I was looking for japanese articles to translate, I happened upon one that was about ARASHI, obviously, I got super excited and decided to read it. Only to find out how this journalist was basically describing why according to him ARASHI stood no comparison against this 7 boy band sensation “called BTS”. I was so irritated by that article I didn’t even bother to read their country of origin and for the longest time I decided they were Chinese 🤡. Mind you, I never once thought of BTS even after reading that article, my mind was ARASHI ARASHI ARASHI FOR DREAM! but that evening when I saw that ad I hated them. So I walked away, sad and angry O THE DRAMA! 🤡 but just like the first time I heard of them, I never thought of them again.

2020 rolled in, and just right before COVID, I started exploring new things on the internet amongst which I discovered a certain at the time budding actor and become a big fan not about to give myself out, so I won’t tell you who 😜, Let's call them X. What does a fan with extensive editing knowledge do? Why fan-edits of course! So I started making edits of X, and one day, as I was helping make X trend on Twitter for an event they were attending, on my timeline a particular video kept reappearing. So I clicked:

CHAPTER 2: I WAS LITERALLY SPEECHLESS AND MESMERIZED

Within ARASHI, only Ohno could actually dance, but these boys ... these boys could ALL dance and apparently they also sang, some holding one hell of a tune, and that beat, ooh the entire production…: JUST WOW. I must have watched the video another 10 times at least and all the while it never got old, in fact it only got better with every listen; so I then ended up adding ON to my playlist.

This day was February 25, 2020 and this is the date I unknowingly became ARMY and also the day I celebrate my anniversary on. Now you need to understand, my COVID days were mostly making edits of X, supporting X, trending for X on twitter so at this point I didn’t have the thoughts of wanting to find more about BTS. In my head, I found a song I liked, and thought "cool, I guess I don't necessesarily have to hate them ..." I quickly looked up JUNGKOOK because you don't belt a not like that and act like it didn't happened and kept it moving. 

Couple of days later, I’d start working on my first edit of X which blow up. This edit was was made using this one song I heard on a compilation which was circulating on twitter, it had a “certain dancer named Jimin” doing high kicks. The background song they used was named; UGH!. Sure, the dancer was hella skilled … but that song, I couldn’t stop playing the clip and though it was probably because of Jimin, my brain decided that it was the song can’t believe I found the exact edit!!! 👇🏾

Did I realise that UGH! which took me forever to find as I didn’t understand it was the name of the song at first 😂😂😂 was sung by BTS; as in THE SAME BTS I apparently didn’t hate so much anymore? NOPE. It didn’t even occurred to me because THAT BTS was a 7 member boy band not a hardcore 3 member rap group 😬😬😬. Anyways, I became obsessed with UGH! And as one does when in confinement, I started looking for people who would share my same enthusiasm, and since I had already fallen into the world of reactions on youtube for TV series THANKS A LOT COVID 🙃I thought I’d look to see if there was anyone who would react to songs, in this case, UGH! By the rapper group named BTS still to this point I had NO CLUE that they were the same people… I had to download an mp4 version from the internet in order to do the edit, so I didn't even know if it came from an album or where else and what I found was:

They were hella excited and I really could relate with that because that song always made me wanna turn the fuck up, but most of all, they were black people interested in something asian, and that for me was something I could heavily appreciated. Everyday I kept coming back to watch that reaction because it just made me so happy, and gave me so much energy, so I decided to see if they had any more songs from this rapper group. The first video that came up was their reaction to ON KINETIC MANIFESTO. THE AMOUNT OF DOTS THAT STARTED CONNECTING IN MY HEAD WERE SO MANY YOU’D THINK I DISCOVERED THE THREE LAWS OF EINSTEIN!

You should have seen my face when I discovered that UGH! was on the same album as ON: 🤡. This also made me want to look up the one member whose features really appealed to me the most, not gonna lie to y'all, it was love at first sight: RM. Wanting to know who he was I went on wikipedia, typed BTS and kept clicking every members name until I found him wikipedia has them ordered by age. I started reading about him and chuckled when I found out he was the leader what can I say, i seem to have had a type! aaaand he thought himself english and that made him even sexier in my eyes. When I tell you I spent a couple of days being obsessed with Namjoon 😬😬😬 ...

Anyways, I think a part of me wanted to start being invested, thus, before continuing watching more reactions with FoSquad I decided I wanted to listen to MOTS7, in its entirety, by myself and aside from ON and UGH! The only other song that I absolutely adored was Filter. AND SO began my search for the uncredited female singer that sang Filter, whom I couldn't find anywhere, NOT A SINGLE GOOGLE PAGE HAD THE NAME OF THE FEMALE SINGER THAT SANG FILTER ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR. For a couple of days this is what my google search looked like “What is the name of the female singer that sings Filter with BTS”. … 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

CHAPTER 3: A THREE MONTHS BLINK

Not finding an answer with regards to the mysterious Filter Singer and also concluding that the internet was still so lacking on proper representation of Asian artists, rather than me being the one who was dumb AF, I went continued my supporting X life, while constantly listening to ON, UGH! and Filter. Eventually, it was time to make another X edit, meaning I needed to search for new songs and since X was obsessed with BlackPink I decided to give them a chance and at the time the most recent song was SOUR CANDY feat. Lady Gaga. It was very Gagaish I just so happen to really like Gaga and the beat was perfect for editing, so I used it. On top of that, I joined X's I don't remember how many days countdown to the premiere of “How You Like That”. As I said, X was obsessed with BlackPink, hence, I became a Blink for 3 months.

The day How You Like That dropped I was just as excited as X and at the time I was staying with my directors at their place and they became my "covid bubble". The 3 of us were trying to save our company during COVID inactivity, which meant that during the mornings it was an incessant string of calls with lawyers, with rightfully desperate landlords chasing for money we didn’t have, third parties also needed money we didn't have ... basically, just a whole lot of heavy grinding. But in the evening, we'd cook dinner and we’d all watch a movie once we had quickly gone through the most recent Queer Eye season, even Queer Eye in Japan! and after they’d go to bed, I’d step up, talking with my X Twitter GC, while watching other shows and right before going to bed I'd watch How You Like That to get my spirits ready for the next day.

This was my routine at their house, every day from the release of that song, for a good 2 months. When August rolled around I decided to go back home, as the situation with the company seemed at least a bit stable. So it was back to self-distancing by myself and to my own surprise I didn’t feel the urge to listen to BlackPink at all. X was all that really mattered after all, and they had stopped talking about them, for the time being. So one early ass morning on August 21, 2020 I just so happened to be awake and twitter was buzzing with people waiting for a new BTS song to drop. As I was already awake and had another hour waiting for X to appear at their interview event, I decided to silently wait with ARMY; I did like ON after all. Thus, came Dynamite

CHAPTER 4: LIKE AN ECHO IN THE FOREST

It was nothing like ON. So at first I was a bit confused and didn't know what to think, as it was clear that I hadn't understood their genre. Yet, somehow, that boy winking at me at the end of the MV kept making me want to replay the song and before I knew it I was “shining through the city with a little funk and so-oul!”. Eventually, I looked him up and found out that the cute boxy smile boy with the light blue outfit’s name was V. Just as easy a name to remember as RM. By all means, he wasn’t RM, but that smile just was the cheekiest thing I had seen in a while.

But there was another person that was also FINALLY "introduced" to me through this video, the one who was my mysterious female voice and "UGH! dancer": JIMIN. Not sure why it didn’t connect with ON but the second I heard his voice in Dynamite DOTS WERE CONNECTING LEFT AND RIGHT, AND IT WAS FINALLY CLEAR IN MY MIND THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY A HE, WHO WAS PRETTIER THAN A SHE AND SANG & DANCED LIKE AN ANGEL 🤯🤯🤯. ... Basically Dynamite introduced me to VMIN. 

It goes without saying, my queer-senses were all over the place with Jimin. So, as i usually do, not at all knowledgeable of the South Korean culture, I dove into the internet to ask and see if JM was part of the community: nothing came up. In fact, it was full of people going to a great length to explain why there was NO WAY IN HELL THAT JM WAS QUEER. Funnily enough, as I kept trying to look for connections between JM and the community, all that came up with connections between RM and V and the community (as they had made posts and connected with queer people, music, etc). The strong denying of any sort of connection between JM and Rainbow nation did discourage me a little, NGL. I had spent a year trying to not fall for queerbaiting and I didn’t want it to happen again. However, as I didn’t want to jump the gun since I didn’t quite know them at all, I decided that even though he wasn't a Fred Mercury he perhaps was a Bowie or a Prince. I was okay with that and decided to close that rainbow chapter at that AT THE TIME, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHERE I STAND NOW 🤡. 

The weeks following Dynamite things around X’s management start to look very dodgy and fishy. As a fan you want to be positive, hope for the best, but as more and more evidence was brought forth I had to start to at least dissociate X from their company. This really made me and my X-friends incredibly sad and pretty disenchanted I will admit. Day by day we tried to look at the bright side but, it kept looking rather grim and right about that time somehow I was exposed to STAY GOLD and LIFE GOES ON. Thought Stay Gold wss the one in Japanese, the one that stuck with me was Life Goes On. I remember walking around the still empty studio we hadn’t been able to reinstated none of my colleagues with Life Goes On playing rather loudly. The comfort that song provided me in that moment I will never be able to explain. Is probably the same feeling older ARMY have with Spring Day. Life Goes On came to me in a moment when I really needed to hear those words, gently and promising, like an echo in the forest. 

As it started to become clearer that X was just as cowardly as their company I took a break from my Twitter page, which also just so happened to fall around Xmas time, so I got to actually have a real break with my sibling away from all that nonsense and into a different more secure looking world.

CHAPTER 5: WHO IS BTS?

I spent a good deal of my xmas break watching people's reaction to BTS, their story, their struggles, their MV. Through these reactors and “BTS experts” I was introduced to SOPE. In my baby ARMY experience they came as a set, Ying&Yang, one the opposite of the other, at least this was how majority of the old BTS edits and explaining videos would portray them luckily we now have many updated and more extensive videos out there. While watching all these compilations I also eventually learned all their names and started watching RUN BTS from episode 1 when I figured out tha utmost of the edits were from there I thought “Let’s go straight to the source, if I want to learn really what they are like”. 

The first thing that became pretty clear to me was that for example HOBI and YOONGI weren’t quite exactly like the compilations had been describing them all of them in fact. And it wasn’t like all the boys tried to act reserved or hide certain parts of themselves, they seemed so open that if people paid even just the smallest amount of attention they would know. So for the first time in a long time I found a group that wasn’t giving me doubts, worries … I really didn’t have to think too much but at the same time I knew that if I ever fell back into being depressed from my post-COVIDic environment, they’d also be able to find me down there, because they didn’t seem to shy away from those situations either. 

Going back to RUN BTS real quick, the one thing that it did for me, was introducing me to none other than KIM SEOKJIN. Before I knew it I always found myself following jin on the screen, waiting for him to talk and say a pun or dad joke, or just wanted to see and hear him laugh … I developed a crush for Jin and a small pointy edge every time someone would leave comments on youtube like “why is jin even in this band”, “ there is a reason why Jin dances in the back”. “Jin is not even handsome”. GURL/BOI/ENBY. Taking a break from X meant I would stay well away from Twitter, so I had no idea about BTS proper solos, antis, etc and like a moth to a flame, I’d fall for any troll and start defending Jin against the world. MFers … how dare they disrespected him like that! AND IN FRONT OF ME!

That being said a person called me a Jin-solo in a comment and the second that happened I was about to reply that "Yes I love Jin-" the implications of being a solo, COMPLETELY lost on my Baby ARMY ass but the second i started typing I immediately thought of Namjoon, and then Jungkook, and Jimin ... eventually I thought of all members and realised that I liked each member for different reasons and I couldn't choose one. Further research would eventually teach me that meant I was 0T7.

On my way back from my Xmas break I decided that I would stop associating with X and just move on with life. On my journey back home we were told we had to be Lockdown again, which really depressed me, but as if it was second nature, I played Life Goes On and tried to think of any positive thing. So I got back home wanting to watch more BTS reactions, while listening to BTS and wondering what Jin was doing. And from that moment on for a good month I’d go into my still empty office but this time knowing we could start calling back at least 2 of my colleagues, which made me so ecstatic sit down with my coffee and say “Alexa, play BTS” and Alexa would reply “Shuffling songs from BTS” and ALWAYS the playlist would start with a familiar whistle …

And the rest is history 😜.

So who is BTS? They are the 7 boys that came to my rescue when I felt heartbroken. The 7 boys that had so much skill and love to share with the world and wanted for me to join and not be left out. They are the boys that never pressured me into needing to like them, but somehow were always there when I unknowingly needed them. They are the 7 boys who reminded me that it was okay to not be okay and just go with the flow of things, even if it is against the flow of all. They are the 7 boys that keep trusting us with their everything and all they ask in return, if possible, is to be there, at end of this gigantic rainbow. And that is exactly where I plan to be. I am so grateful for all 7 of you and words could never describe how much I love you.

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY MY RAINBOW AVENGERS.

Always incredible respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[fairygeek777]

Today's batch 31-35 was fun. Because I started with this

And I ended with this

Wow! I got really into episodes 33-35 oh my gosh.

First, Venus is here! She's not a decoy princess but she still uses Crescent beam 🤷‍♀️

Second, for a guy who throws roses and fights with a cane Tuxedo Mask is actually kinda badass in this anime. Which is not a word I would use to describe manga Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru still didn't know that Sailor Moon's identity was Usagi. But he was cursing the fact he couldn't protect her. After getting stabbed by Zoisite who acted as a fake Sailor Moon he was still gonna try and save her. He didn't try and treat the wound at all which is totally on him. He definitely had time. But maybe he didn't know how. Idk

ANYWAY things get really fun when Usagi follows Mamoru to the tower where he's meeting Zoisite. Because neither knows they are Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask so Mamoru is all "ill give you the crystals just let the girl go" and Usagi's all "why does Mamoru want the crystals" But the whole time she's starting to suspect that he is Tuxedo Mask. And Mamoru is being really protective of Usagi which warms my heart 🥰 Then they get lured into a long elevator ride and this is where Mamoru reveals that he has no memories. I was very happy because the panels from the manga showing his accident and him as a child were perfectly adapted. And then we get a cute moment between them 🥰

THEN Kunzite is a little douche and throws a fire ball down the elevator forcing Usagi to transform IN FRONT of Mamoru who then discovers her identity. Then the two confront Zoisite and Usagi's all like "What do you mean? Where's Tuxedo Mask?" And then Mamoru is like "Here" and then we see him pull out a rose from his jacket

WHICH IS THE PERFECT REVEAL AHHHHH Love it love it love iiiitt. Anyway Mamoru gives Zoisite the crystals and then Zoisite proceeds to try and literally stab Usagi in the back. But Mamoru jumps in to take the hit instead of her 😭😭

Then things proceed similar to act 9, Usagi's tears become the Silver Crystal, Mamoru regains his memories, Usagi transforms into Princess Serenity. They don't really show that much about the Silver Millenium at all but I'm sure I'll see more later. I did notice that they made Queen Serenity blonde. she's not in the little glimpse we got of her. As Mamoru is taken away Usagi faints after using the moon rod and silver Crystal and is out for a good while.

Usagi is way less focused on Mamoru in this instance compared to how she reacts to his death in the manga. Also Rei gets mad at Usagi for denying her identity as a princess and slaps her. She still likes Mamoru that much is clear. He was technically still her boyfriend I guess.

Anyway 35 leaves off with Usagi accepting her role as princess and Mamoru taken captive by Queen Beryl. But he's still alive so thats good!

While watching I was getting all giddy and excited because this is all new for me. I'm really enjoying this version of the story. Its slower pace gives more room for an interesting dynamic between all the characters. Some are completely changed (Rei) and some are getting development they never had (Naru) So yea this is a fun experience.

[thebonerpit]

Idk if anyone follows my posts enough to even notice this but you may have seen me talking about a lot of new things I've watched so far this year, both tv and film. I kind of made a mini resolution to do this because I found, especially at the end of 2023, that I was stuck in a rut of either rewatching old things or mindlessly flipping through YouTube videos I had little to no interest in. There's so much media out there I'm interested in and now I feel almost reinvigorated to go through it and I've been having a blast.

Most of the time I'll probably just reblog a gifset or two with thoughts in the tags but I finally watched the Interview with the Vampire tv show and I have FEELINGS (mostly good)! Spoilers for season one and I do talk about book things that eventually happen so beware in case you don't know and want to continue the show completely blind...

So I kinda put off watching this at first because the Vampire Chronicles books are some of my favourites, and while it did have its own issues, the 1994 film holds a special place in my heart. I was like... do we really need anything else? But I'm glad I gave it a chance because the show was able to go so much further in so many aspects and also now we have a chance to actually see even more of the book events take place!

I'm gonna say up front that almost every character felt very different from how they are in the book except for Lestat. Lestat was actual perfection and I cannot BELIEVE someone did a (dare I say) even better job than Tom Cruise who gave the performance of his life in the film. Sam Reid's Lestat is unhinged and dramatic and terrifying and sad and cringe and yet also loveable and it was a masterpiece of acting. For the majority of the other characters I really didn't mind the differences and in some instances I thought they were actually improved. Daniel Molloy, for example, who is basically Anthony Bourdain? Perfection. Louis who is yes kind of pathetic and dramatic like the book, but also is volatile and complicated which Lestat is drawn to right from the beginning instead of only after having his little breakdown caused by his brother's death? Excellent. Armand who is older and looks nothing like the Armand described in the books but I can see without any problem how Marius fell madly deeply insanely in love with him because he's GORGEOUS and has this unsettling serenity about him? Give. Me. MORE.

The only issue I really had was with Claudia. I see people praising her all over the place so I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I hated that they aged her up so much. The most compelling thing about Claudia as a character is that she is an adult woman trapped in the body of a literal CHILD. A pre-pubescent child. Not a teenager. It's absolutely horrifying and it should be horrifying. Now, I will say, I saw an article where they talked about part of the reason behind this choice being that they needed the actor to work longer hours and it was impossible for a kid to do that, plus the very intense material, and I fully FULLY support any protections for child actors because the industry is insane. But it does make me sad and I wish there was some way they could have worked around it. I get what they tried to do with teenage Claudia but it just fell flat for me. And also the actress really looks her age (I think she's 20?) so like the few times where people were making fun of her for "playing dress up" or whatever I'm like... she fully looks like an older teen at LEAST what are you talking about lol. Also I thought her accent was kind of bad.

But honestly, that was really the only problem I had with the whole series. I absolutely loved how they went full-on explicit with the Lestat/Louis romance and the chemistry between the two of them was... WOOF. I was actually really interested in the modern portions too, mostly because Anthony Bour-- I mean Daniel Molloy was so entertaining lol. I loved how he pushed and pushed at Louis and their whole back and forth was brilliant. Although putting on my archivist's hat for a second to be outraged at Daniel consenting to wearing the cotton gloves to handle the diaries but then eating a fucking sandwich right beside the book???? Absolutely not lol. It was so much fun to see the Armand reveal (which I was spoiled for somehow but that's ok) especially knowing that Armand eventually turns Daniel and boy oh boy I hope they go long enough to get to that. I loved the continued references to Lestat's love of music which makes me hope they're planting seeds to make rock star Lestat a little more believable lol (god can you even imagine?? And we don't talk about the Queen of the Damned movie ok).

As for S2, I'm so excited for Paris and the Théâtre des Vampires and HELLO Ben Daniels as Santiago!!! Omg so hype for that. And it's going to be so interesting to see the Armand/Louis relationship as well because I mean it's always going to be Lestat/Louis and Armand/Marius for me so Louis being like "he's the love of my life"... girl. (And speaking of Armand/Marius please GOD give us some flashbacks because they are my Vampire Chronicles OTP and I need to see that whole story including my girl Bianca thank youuuuu).

Yeah so overall I'm quite positive about the whole thing and sincerely hope that they get many more seasons because there's so many interesting stories in those books and we've only ever gotten a TINY portion on screen.

[pixie-skull]

10 characters in 10 fandoms tag :D thank you @airasora for tagging me. =D

So I did do a VERY similar post a few days ago, but screw it more shout-outs fandoms I like. >:D

UPDATED ON NOVEMBER 23, 2023

10. Diablo vide games:

One of my first favorite video games and favorite character is Deckard Cain.

9. Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

The comedy group Monty Python needs more fans I feel. XD Favorite character of this movie is Tim.

8. Futurama:

I feel like a fool I did not think of this particular fantastic show. Besides being one of few science fiction I can enjoy so much, the stories, running gags, animation, and especially the characters are so great. Favorite character is so hard as younger me adored Leela, but as I get older it is a tie of her and Kif. I just like show reversed certain expected traits for characters. Leela to muscle while Kif the temped heart. That being said Zoidberg and Nibbler as I oddly relate to. 🤷‍♂️

7. Scooby Doo:

If from the original, to the movies (Witch’s Ghost and Alien Invaders), to newer shows, and a few video games. :D Favorite character is Scooby tied with Shaggy.

6. Non-Disney:

Now this kinda cheating but I adore animated movies, especially hand-drawn movies. I mean dang I am so grateful that certain animated movies gems that I have seen, that it made and I happily if could consider voice acting for a career. However I am also cheating to say a favorite character as he is a comfort character, Thief from The Thief and the Cobbler. This also why this middle of my list as so vague.

5. Allan Moore’s work fandom:

Okay a tie, between a graphic novel and a movie. I am aware Allan Moore well known to despise his work be adapted to film. Graphic novel (even though the movie is a guilty pleasure of mine) is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Movie is V for Vendetta, plus favorite character a three-way tie of Deirich + Evey + Finnich. Yes I meant it alphabetically order. XP

4. Firefly+Serenity:

I am sure this does not surprise anybody? XD Favorite character is hard but it is Inara with Sharped in close second place.

3. The Tenth Kingdom:

I rarely hear anyone talk about this miniseries which is a shame as such a fun show. @airasora I for some reason can see the character Wolf being your favorite character. :D In regards my favorite character, it has to be Virginia.

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Yay one of the FEW shows I have actually watched all 7 seasons of (plan to rewatch the movie). XD I am honestly torn between two characters I really like. Especially as both are relatable in info dumping on legends/folklore, plus the few times they work together it is a fun team=Willow and Giles

1. Sense8:

I can not articulate enough how this show deserves more attention and needed more time/episodes. Favorite character has to be my crush Kala. However she is also a favorite character along, Lito x Hernado (I am aware both are cis gay men, but as a bi trans man they are one of few men love men relationships I have felt so relatable to).

0. Mythology:

If I had pick what particular creature that pop culture has used it is obviously the Unicorn. Funny enough I have not watched any of the My Little Pony shows+movies. I just feel too weary it be hard to not be bothered by the fact they are “horses with horns and cute”.

[moldy-mold]

Hi I LOVE the Yugioh swap au stuff you're doing, it's so much fun and with both posts you've made I've gone over the pictures over and over trying to get every detail avhsbshd

Marik and Ishizu switching places?? Beautiful, fantastic, glorious- but also Where Is Odion and Is He Okay

Thief Queen Mai can send me to the shadow realm as much as she wants and I would thank her tbh-

I have Many Questions about Joey and Tea in the newest one- it seemed that before, Joey was still friends with the main gang? Or at least friends with Seto, so I have to wonder if they aren't as close as they seem or if Something Else went down (also I hope you know that, for me at least, this au has inspired puppyshipping galore every time I think about it sjdbjs)

And Tea getting Timaeus, the card that Yugi originally used and I would have expected Seto to use? Facinating, I'd love to know if anything in particular led to that decision or if it was just for shits and giggles

Serenity?? With the eye?? I am intrigued, is she evil, how much pain has she caused Joey, what's the story there I Must Know

And f i n a l l y , our main two, our lovely rivals, the tallest and shortest people on the show-

Did Yugi and Seto go through a whole life swap? It seems that way, with Mutoland (also it's hilarious that Mokuba wants to go with Yami Seto, thanks for that) and generally How Yugi Is Dressed in the pictures we've seen, so does that mean Seto actually goes to school and he and Mokuba run a game shop?? Because that's a fantastic mental image ngl- and would that mean that Yugi kidnapped Mokuba, if the 'first episode' went the same direction as canon?

And does this mean that, in the past, roles were swapped as well? Seto being the Pharaoh while Atem is his priest? Or is that as usual and they have to tell Yugi he's the reincarnation of an ancient Pharaoh ahdbjsbd

Are the favored cards swapped around? Is Dark Magician more powerful/more rare than Blue Eyes? Is Yugi still the same height as Mokuba that's the real question here-

DOES YUGI BELIEVE IN MAGIC OR IS HE AS STUBBORN AS CANON SETO NOW THAT'S THE REAL QUESTION-

So many questions and (probably) so few answers- but whether you answer this or not, I enjoy your au Greatly and I'm Very Excited for whatever comes next!!

HEY!! THANK YOU SM!! Glad y’all are having fun with it!! It was a real mind-bending journey to draw and think about.

I’ll answer these questions carefully. I don’t want to give everything away so if I skip over it, I probably have plans for it that I’ll hopefully get to drawing!

Odion, as far as I know, has the same role as he did originally. I would like to draw him in the future. 8)

I have such a bias for Mai, I love her the most and would like for her to be more important in DM, personally.

Joey is friends with the gang but he’s closer to Seto than Yugi. Seto and Joey are on first-name basis! Isn’t that crazy??!! I think businessman Yugi is too busy these days. :( The main reason Orichalcos Joey happened was because he was tired of Yami Seto always defending him when he wants to be able to take care of himself. I’m still very surprised at the fact that in the anime, Atem succumbed the power of the Orichalcos and yet, Joey did not. The hot-headed gambling delinquent boy Joey did not???!

I gave Timaeus to Tea because I want to make her more important to the Orichalcos lore since she doesn’t quite have a place in the ancient Egypt lore. I haven’t decided who her two partners would be.

Many plans for Serenity…

Yugi and Seto do have a life swap, but not a personality swap. So yea, Yugi and his Grandpa run Muto Corp and the Kaibas run a game store LOL! Seto probably did something to Big Boss Grandpa and episode 1 happens all over again.

I’ma be honest and say I haven’t watched the Egypt final arc yet so I don’t know what happens in there. I will watch it soon! But for now, because I like having Atem’s personality inside Seto’s body (that just makes it really really funny for me), that’s Pharaoh Atem we’re seeing. Seto hates it. :)

YES Dark Magician is more rare than Blue Eyes. PERSONAL BIAS. I love Dark Magician lmaooo.

Yugi believes in magic yet he does NOT have any of the millennium items!!!! Right now he’s just thinking “oh it’s better someone else keeps them since they’re dangerous.” And that’s that. Seto is STILL STUBBORN and doesn’t believe in ancient Egyptian magic despite what is happening to him!! He has a feeling Atem is important but doesn’t really believe the weird power of the god cards and the millennium items.

Thank you for your questions! It truly is fun to talk about this!

[icedmetaltea]

i can't help myself. i see a friend reblog an ask game and i start RUNNING-

but uuuh how about #9, #13/14, and/or #10! Maybe #19 and #20 but i'm already asking you a lot so feel free to answer whatever one!

Never too many questions! I love to answer them and talk ya'lls ear off🥰 Thanks so much!

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else? -

I... I hate to say this, such a boring answer, but I feel pretty neutral about them?? Like, how do I explain this, like when I was a tiny kid I wasn't freaked out by clowns or creepyass robots like ppl my age were (I still remember going to a circus once and being completely serene while my siblings fuckin bawled their eyes out when they saw clowns gitrogjvorejgiro). In a way I suppose I also just find their designs appealing. They aren't pretty (well at least not traditionally so~), they have flaws, and that makes them so interesting.

But give canon sun like, normal black pupils and oh my god THEN I'm scared gjeurogujeiguierjiogjfsd

13/14. thoughts on pre-glitch sun/moon? -

I love seeing all the different takes on them! The funny thing is I find a lot of the time I write fics (stares at my trunk full of drafts) I tend to just straight-up ignore canon, like the virus never existed to begin with. That's partially cause I dislike heavy angst and partially cause it's fun to imagine they could act irrationally without any glitch (like a virus-free Sun who gradually becomes unhinged all on his own?? *chefs kiss*)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had? -

I will hyperfixate on shit for ages regardless of how much actual content there is. I find fan content is almost always much more thought-provoking than the source material since you get all these amazing artists/writers pouring their hearts into stuff. That's what keeps me around (plus the ideas that keep plaguing my head that need an OUTLET)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl? -

To be honest I probably wouldn't meet them irl since I'm mega socially anxious and would never wanna be in a big pizzaplex, let alone around loudass kids. Buuuut hypothetically if it did happen... they'd most likely think I'm unfriendly since I naturally act uninterested/standoffish around ppl I have a crush on cause they make me so nervous, so they'd prolly just ignore me tbh ; - ; Then I always start feeling inferior and unlovable and hide in my lil shell till I go hide in a bathroom #Feelsbadman (that's the beauty of fictional husbands amirite)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind! - I'm watching the Sandman rn and it's rlly good imo, the visuals are stunning

[in-my-feels-probably]

HEEYYY! CONGRATS ON 800 LOVE<3 How are you?

It sounded too fun for me to not join your celebration so here it is! i wanna say grishaverse like any character from both book series and i don't have a gender preference and ofc romantically cause i have no romance in my life.

Next year i'm going to study english literature in uni as a second language and i have always wanted to be a writer so studying literature is something i'm really exited about. I'm an enfp! My best friend once said my personality is like Elizabeth bennet's and i never forget that cause it's such an honor. i usually hyperfixate on reading or i binge watch and in the end i burn out for a few days. I LOVE drawing but i can't draw so it's always so funny when i try. I love harry potter's opening music(?) It's SO comforting. i don't use any social media very actively because i get overwhelmed by it really easy. And i apparently love oversharing on the internet.

Im sorry this is long i got carried away. Thank you for existing and please don't forget to drink water and eat, have really great day/night, love you<3

hi!

thank you for participating :)

i’m good btw, thanks for asking. i hope you’re good too. first of all, taste. i adore james potter. you and me sound very similar actually, i bet you’re really fun to hang out with.

anyways, i ship you with nikolai!

being a prince, he’s probably done his fair share of reading. i don’t think he reads in his free time, but i do think he’d appreciate a good book or quote. so while he might not read, maybe he’d ask you to read it him or tell him what the book you’re reading is about. and if you were writing, he’d be happy to bounce ideas off you so he could help. might as well put that high education to good use. and i think he loves music. “its enough to make a grown man cry,” is definitely something he’d say to you when he found a piece that he really loved.

i think he’d get along well with an enfp. elizabeth bennet is probably one of his ideal personalities that he’d want in a partner, so if you’re like that, he’d count himself lucky. someone who’s outgoing enough to keep a conversation going, but also someone content to just be calm and serene with him. he’d definitely love witty banter, but he’d also love some peace and quiet too, except i don’t think he likes being alone. so being with someone who’s happy to just be in his presence, and be there if he needs someone to talk to, he’d really value that.

i think he really understand burnout. he constantly has a million things running through his head, and tons of ideas, and there’s just no time to execute them all. once he did have time for his ideas, he’d get really frustrated when he couldn’t execute them well. he’d need some kind distraction, and you’d be more than happy to provide one.

he’d hear you coming, immediately relaxing when you took a seat beside him. “hello, darling.”

“are you alright?” you’d ask, frowning when he rested his head on your shoulder and sighed. “bad day?”

“very long day,” he’d answer, reaching for one of your hands. “waste of time, too.”

he’d show you his sketches he drew up when trying to create the flying ship, and you’d smile, taking a piece of parchment and a quill from him.

“i’ve got this,” you’d grin, immediately sketching away. you knew it would be terrible, but the smile on his face would be worth it.

he’d laugh so hard that he’d nearly make himself sick, settling himself into your arms. he’d consider getting you lessons, but he knew you didn’t draw because you wanted to be a great artist. it was purely for fun, and it made you smile, just like you made him smile.

“it’s terrible, darling,” he’d say, wrapping one arm around you while holding the parchment in the other. “i love it!”

[kotonoba]

ISYT (Jushiro/Fem!Reader) Ch. 31.5

I just found out why my boyfriend absolutely despises Jushiro, it's because I may actually love this man more than I love my own boyfriend, and he probably found out. So uh, (: It's fine honestly.

-------------------------------------------------------------

He never doubted her genuinity, and she was kind beyond words, so much so that she had stayed with him while he was so sick and bedridden with a fever. Happiness struck him so far down when she agreed to his marriage proposal. Despite him being so ill, she still decided. Jushiro couldn’t ask for someone better, to be able to look past his ailments and diseases, to just love him as the person he represents, instead of the pity he can tell his family and colleagues gives him, or some of his subordinates gives him to make sure he doesn’t get sick more. She at least treats him like an equal. 

His fever for once healed too fast for his comfort; the least he wanted to do was for it to last a little longer so he could enjoy some alone time with her. Watching her read over his writing was somewhat lovely scenery. Many wouldn’t agree with him. But he found serenity in watching her enjoy his writing; a part of him wants to write more just to watch her read it. 

Sharing breakfast with her was nice, but she had to hurry off for work which left Jushiro in his Ugendo all alone. On the one hand, he could work on his paperwork, but he does have a lieutenant now, and Kaien could deal with it well enough. Instead of paperwork, he found himself asking Kaien to help him plan the wedding, he’s been to many, but he’s never been in the spotlight of one. Who better to ask than someone in his division who’s already married to someone lovely? 

Jushiro found himself talking about Y/N more than he would like; he was supposed to be planning for the wedding, not talk about the love of his life to no end to someone who was simply trying to help. Although he was teased for being so in love with it, he couldn’t help but crack a gentle smile at the teasing. Even if they were teasing, they were genuine, and they were very accurate since he couldn’t stop himself from going on a tangent about how wonderful Y/N was. It was so repetitive that, at this point, Kaien could recite what he was going to say before he even breathed a word about it. Just how he looked gave away what he wanted to say about Y/N; it was that bad. 

The entire day, they were visited by Shunsui on and off, primarily because he was avoiding work; who would have known? Shunsui was a known slacker. Although Jushiro isn’t one to stop his best friend from joining him from time to time, he always wondered how his division functioned, knowing how much paperwork Kaien goes through in a day; and whenever – on the free day when Kaien is sick, he has to work on the paperwork himself. He knew how big of a workload that was. How did the Eighth Division function with a captain like his best friend? 

The day went on faster than expected, and time does fly when you’re having fun. Before Kaien dismissed himself since Jushiro had long rejected him, he just wanted to stay and help; Kaien turned towards Jushiro, which caught his attention while admiring his set of clothes for the big day, “what is it, Kaien?” 

“Captain, you know, you’re going to have to tell Y/N to find a day off to plan with her, too, right? Yes, it’s your big day, but it’s also hers. I don’t think you should plan something without asking for her opinion. I don’t know what she prefers; I know that Miyako didn’t mind a big wedding, but we kept it decently sized since her side of the family wasn’t that big anyways.” Kaien said did earn an acknowledging nod from Jushiro.

“I was planning to ask her when she was home today, you know? To relieve stress and think about us instead, thank you for reminding me, Kaien,” Kaien didn’t say much. He just nodded and went on his merry way. 

Jushiro waited for a bit before seeing Y/N wander home, but the way she walked and the way her eyes just gazed at a distance showed him that her mind wasn’t where she was, “Y/N!” no answer, she kept walking, from the trajectory of her path, she was headed into his koi pond. On the one hand, he could be childish and let her walk in, but he didn’t want to risk her getting sick since he knew how much of a burden being sick was, and he didn’t want her to feel like a burden to him, even though he doesn’t view her as one, and wants to care for her for when she’s sick. But she takes care of herself very well, “Y/N!” still no answer. The silver-haired captain quickly got up and out of his seat to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her figure close to his body, “hey, are you okay, Y/N?” 

Hearing her voice was music to his ears. When she said she’s just had a busy day, he chuckled a little, and it couldn’t be busier than what Kaien does daily or what they did for the entire day just for Jushiro to anxiously but excitedly prepare for the big day, “yeah? Want to tell me about it over some dinner?” 

She nodded “gladly,” what he wasn’t expecting was for her to twist her body around and embrace him tightly, “I missed you today.” 

“I missed you too. Come on, let’s go in before you catch a cold.” 

“You too. Just because you were sick before doesn’t mean you can’t get sick again. It’s just that the likelihood of that happening is very slim, is all,” hearing her get all technical with him was very endearing; it showed that she learned a significant amount while in the world of the living, but it also revealed that she cared about him a lot. 

“I know; thank you for worrying about me too, Y/N.”

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Although, what can I say? Who doesn't love him? He doesn't have a problem with Aizen or Madara (from Naruto). Unfortunately, I love Jushiro too much to not write for him primarily.

Cloudy's AO3

[bookwyrminspiration]

Haven't read much of the wings au but Keefe and Fitz and Dex should just suck it up and embrass the birds already. This meaning Fitz stands ominously at the highest point of a building or in a corner to observe the whole room with and sometimes he preens himself with his mouth and has his own select area that No One But Me can go into and watches people with stiff and jerky head movements and suddenly has much sharper eyesight and is now an accomplished swimmer and has a habit of breaking branches and has gained a new taste for fish, he could be more hot headed as well and always prepared for a fight

Keefe (You said Angel on the Art of his wings) should have a Major Moral Compass and very ready to help and sends his time serenely watching the sky and is very humbled and to himself but ominous and somehow wise

I don't remember what bird Dex was so I've decided he should be a crow because they're crafty little fuckers that hold a grudge like it's nobodies business and they're intelligent to boot. Dex should embrace his new found communication skills so he can actually describe his ideas in a way other people can understand and remembers faces exceptionally well and spends most of his time alone in his own little hut. He should enjoy his newfound power of hopping around with a little flapping of his wings to aid him in his movements because crows are simply too small to walk meaningful distance so he'd get that behaviour and would join Fitz in the preening and the jerky movements, except Dex is now more prone to flying away. Dex is also now very prone to causing general mischief around the place. He also has his own little space that he defends and screeches over when people enter without permission. More than once you'll see Fitz being run out of Dex's "nest" (The gnome hut) while rapidly scolding him. Dex is often seen being growled at and circled by Fitz because he forgot about the territory as well.

Anyway, they all have to deal with Mr. Crafty grudge man and Mr. Predator refined eagle man

How did I forget about this ask I love wings au asks! You know what you probably sent it later in the day and I went "oh I'll answer that tomorrow" except by the time tomorrow happened I'd forgotten until I scrolled past it now

(saving space with a cut!)

You know what Nonsie you're so right, they should all lean into it more. I was trying to find a balance between the inhuman aspects of their wings and the elves they are where they're not quite the same as they were before but still recognizable as themselves, but this would be way funnier. I know you said you haven't read much but this just means I get to inform you that Maruca gets to be part of this squad as well as her wings are starling wings!

I will be entirely honest though the main reason that Fitz's house in the village has two stories, something no other house has, is specifically so he can have a vantage point like what you're describing. He gets to be higher than everyone because I thought it would be fun. Oh! I just referenced my original notes for the wings au and under Fitz's characteristics I literally was brainstorming "nesting, cocking head, staring" so we are on the same wavelength. I swear I made a note about preening somewhere as well let me see if I can find it. I found it!! I made a note saying that Keefe likes to preen, though that isn't a trait I've brought as much into the au. For the swimming thing, they haven't needed to swim yet but I will keep that in mind, Nonsie

Also thanks for the reminder on keefe's wings thing! I forgotten I'd written that, but angel was more of a filler word because he has wings specific to a creature within the au (often referred to as "the being") because I didn't want to bring angels or their relations into that. Since in the au having a type of wing indicates that that creature exists and I don't want to get into the complexities of angels, but honestly I don't think it's too much of a stretch to still call Keefe a bird. The being is this whole confusion amalgamation of existence, whose to say there isn't bird in there? But the serene/ominous/somehow wise combination you described would fit with his vibe almost perfectly...you are giving me ideas this is very fun

Dex was an owl! I might've specified which kind but I can't remember what it was at the moment given that it's not super important because his wings went haywire while developing and he built himself wings instead. But all of your crow descriptions are apt as well and would work really well for him! "crafty little fucker" is him in a nutshell, and he totally should join Fitz in the Extreme Bird Club. When Keefe complained that all his friends were turning into birds he actually just meant them specifically and denies that he has any association with birds. You know there was a scene recently where Dex was knocking on Sophie's door except it was slightly open and it swung open unexpectedly and he closed it so he could knock and enter the correct way, which could fit with a particular understanding of spaces like you're describing!

Fitz and Dex having territory fights is so beautiful I might have to add something like that very soon. Sophie, Biana, and Linh are off Underground finding out Lady Gisela is dead but back home Dex and Fitz are squabbling for their lives.

Here I was focusing on Maruca and Marella and Linh and dragons and monsters when the bird boys were right there! Maruca is one of the bird boys actually she gets access to both groups.

Anyway my point is I love every single part of this ask and have read it like three times now and can't believe I forgot about it! The wings au my beloved <3

[mqdilen]

⭒ .๋ ࣭ ⊹ ˖ 「𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭.」

fandom.: bungou stray dogs (contains !spoilers! concering the beast manga + stage play)

synopsis.: chuuya visits dazai in the hospital after going on a rampage, and the two of them "chat"

pairing.: [beast au] port mafia leader chuuya x dazai \ soukoku

cw.: toxic relationship, hurt / no comfort, angst (?), reversed roles (chuuya kinda acts like dazai and dazai kinda acts like chuuya)

genre.: one-shot, no second part

word count.: 2.7k (approximate reading time; nine minutes)

note.: so this has kind of taking longer than i expected and i was severely struggling in the beginning, but anyway!! i still hope you enjoy the story! also, please mind the tags! + this story is heavily inspired by a twitter post from @Atarayo33 and i simply created their idea / drawing into a longer fanfiction due to a tiktok! (so credits and much kudos to them! link to the post) should i cross-post this on ao3...?

☪︎

dazai’s eyes fluttered open as he finally regained consciousness, his expression seeming bleak but at the same time devoid of any emotion. it was his usual expression. the one he gave to everyone who passed him on the street or watched him while he waited for his coffee he ordered in that small café nearby. just an ordinary expression. nothing special that would ever captivate anyone if it weren’t for the charm he held.

dazai had yet to figure out where he was, and as if to make it even more difficult to pinpoint his current location, his vision is rather blurry, and one of his eyes is obscured by a somewhat rough material that he presumes to be his bandages. although his bandages didn’t bother him too much. he’s used to them by now after all. what bothered him more was the fact that all his memories were somehow a big mess.

yet, he clearly remembered jumping off the port mafia building, in fact, he remembered everything that involved that jump. from atsushi’s strident voice ringing in his ears, to the thrilling sensation of the adrenaline surging through his veins, to his insides feeling like they’re climbing up his torso. a wisp of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he dwelled in the memories and stared ahead, seeing nothing yet but a strong beam of light.

the bright light seemed heavenly to him, but it also had something unusual about it. it hurt him, making his eyes water. dazai’s mind began to wander, his once visible smile now tinged with a faint despondency. disappointment settled in, casting a melancholic shadow over his thoughts as he expected a more serene scene after his death. then again, no one ever said heaven was a fun or prepossessing experience, did they? heaven... what a stupid thing to believe in. and how stupid of him to actually think that the blackest of blood, port mafia blood, could ever belong to a place like that. perhaps that was why, as if he were standing too close to a flame, the light burned his eyes, completely absorbing the darkness in them. after all, everyone knew that he was and will never go to heaven, but to hell. his own personal hell. the universe he created.

dazai blinked, able to make out some of the things in his room now, like a white ceiling and a large window, the sun facing him as it slowly disappeared behind the horizon. a sense of dread settled over him as he realized that it wasn’t the sunlight alone that sent a rush of agony through his body, or the thought of being in hell, but rather the fact that he was indeed still alive. his body ached and the comforting warmth he once felt from the hospital bed swiftly gave way to an icy chill that pierced through his very soul—much more fitting to an individual like him.

dazai raised his trembling hand as he meticulously counted each of his fingers, desperately wanting to confirm that he wasn’t alive and that this was just an overly realistic dream. he had once heard that dreams were full of anomalies such as having an extra finger, so the possibility that his head was just playing a trick on him was an option that had to be considered; that gave him hope. however, the pain coursing through his body and the pungent smell of alcohol mixed with the undertones of artificial fragrance were enough of a hint for dazai to know that his suicide attempt had failed again – as usual.

he clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, wondering how he managed to keep surviving. he thought this would be the one. the one and only universe where he could die in peace, knowing that he is still alive. but it seemed that this universe was just as cruel to him, forcing him to live with the burden of knowing that the only person he ever considered a friend despised him.

the faint sound of footsteps approaching his hospital bed could be heard, pulling dazai out of his thoughts. he couldn’t determine to whom they belonged. something about the footsteps felt amiss. they didn’t belong to atsushi, as dazai initially suspected, given his desperate plea not to take that fateful leap. nor were they the menacing strides of akutagawa, who probably harbored a somewhat deep desire for revenge after the torment inflicted upon his sister.

he sat up, slowly, as his neck brace would not allow him to move properly. his eyes widened slightly as he distinguished the head of a familiar person peeking out from behind a bouquet of flowers – red roses to be exact. the rich, smoky yet soothing scent that trailed behind the small figure, drowning out the antiseptic one, made dazai feel slightly light-headed. “chuuya…” dazai whispered absent-mindedly, his voice barely audible. “i see you’ve finally woken up.” a tender smile adorned chuuya’s lips as he carefully set the roses aside only to stare at them for a moment.

dazai’s throat tightened as he took in chuuya’s appearance, noticing the black coat he supposedly inherited after his ‘death’. “chuuya... why- how am I still alive?” dazai inquired, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. he seemed puzzled. the ginger eventually lifted his head up, gazing at him with a hint of affection in his eyes. “what do you mean? you’re alive because i saved you, silly.” dazai’s eyes sank slightly and he looked away for a split second, feeling conflicted. was it so sinful to wish to die? was there really no universe where he was allowed to die? chuuya, on the other hand, seemed amused, his smile never faltering. “what, did you really think i wouldn’t find out that you were trying to kill yourself all along? did you really think you could fool me? your partner?” he drew out the last syllable, emphasizing it as a dark shadow fell across his face, rendering him somewhat colder.

dazai’s lips parted slightly as he felt oddly compelled to answer him, yet the words seemed to die on his tongue and he remained silent instead. eventually, he lowered his head and stared at his trembling hands, as if he could find a pleasing answer in them. chuuya’s smile seemed to waver a little upon dazai’s reaction.

at some point, he took a step closer and clasped his hands behind his back. “i also cleaned up the mess you left behind. you know... i killed them. all of them. i killed again and again and again and again…” he said with a faint tremor in his voice, tightening the grip on his hands. dazai’s body tensed and his eyes widened in disbelief. he knew quite well to what extent chuuya’s abilities reached, what he was capable of and what not. yet, an inexplicable sense of unease slithered up dazai’s spine, causing a slight shudder within him. “i killed your friend, too.” chuuya added in a mellow tone, gawking at his expression. “w-what?” dazai’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked at chuuya as if he didn’t understand a single of the words he uttered. though chuuya only tilted his head, a grin still plastered across his lips as he observed dazai.

dazai’s heartbeat gradually picked up its pace as he repeated the words in his head, refusing to believe them. his head was spinning and his mind was flooded with memories of oda and him together. they were beautiful moments, each of them unique in its own way. he recalled oda eating curry, his favorite food, or playing with sakura, one of the orphans he took care of. he remembered their first meeting, how he treated his wounds after yet another failed suicide attempt. though at that time, he was glad he didn’t die. after all, oda had become one of his closest friends; his only friend. but those memories felt misplaced in this universe, just like dazai himself.

eventually, he found his composure and exhaled shakily as he felt the mattress sink in. chuuya was now sitting beside him, his smile seeming more sinister than anything else at the moment. “you’re lying. i made sure that all connections to us were cut, so he has absolutely nothing to do with me. we’re not even friends!” chuuya’s eye twitched slightly as he listened to dazai’s words, knowing that he was blatantly lying to him. “oh, really?” his expression shifted a little as he gently took dazai’s hand before squeezing it, slowly applying more pressure. it didn’t take long before dazai winced in pain and slapped his hand away. however, chuuya hardly felt anything considering that dazai had little to no strength at the moment. then again, dazai knew that chuuya wouldn’t hurt him seriously. after all, he had picked up on the signs quite quickly.

“don’t touch me.” dazai raised his voice, glaring at the redhead who was drawing closer to his face. a hint of disgust swept over him as he could practically feel chuuya’s breath fanning across his cold skin. eventually, dazai twisted his head away and sank deeper into the pillow, trying to escape chuuya’s intense gaze. chuuya had other plans, however, as he cautiously brought one of his hands closer to dazai’s face, gently caressing his cheek before tilting his head back. dazai’s body stiffened at the ghostly touch and he stared into chuuya’s eyes, which seem to convey an unusual degree of fondness. something he has rarely expressed for anything ever since their first encounter.

at some point, dazai turned his face away again and tried to slap him across the face. but chuuya grabbed his hand at the right moment and instead intertwined his fingers with dazai’s, pushing him further into the mattress as he leaned over him, his hands on either side of his head as he pinned him down. dazai’s teeth grinded together, his throat constricting with a heavy gulp as the gravity of the situation became painfully clear. somehow the weight of his actions, leaving his partner - betraying him even - like everyone else did in the past, beared down on him. it seemed as if none of the two of them would ever be granted a happy ending. not even when they are together.

“why did you do it?” dazai snapped, causing chuuya to blink a few times, catching him off guard for the briefest of moments. “ah, i’m glad you asked. i’ll tell you. to put it simply... i was jealous. jealous that you would care about someone who hates you so much. who can’t even look at you properly without being repulsed. it’s a shame, truly. i just wish you would look at me the same way you look at him... but now that he and all the others are gone, i won’t have to worry about that.” a crooked smile graced chuuya’s lips as he averted his eyes in embarrassment and pulled away, a faint blush ormenanting his usually pale cheeks.

dazai lowered his head, clenching his jaw as his fingernails dug into his skin, drawing some blood. he had never been good at tempering his emotions whenever oda is mentioned. “did you really kill odasaku just for that?” dazai murmured, his voice sounding colder than usual. “oh, that’s such a nice nickname. do i have one too?” chuuya dodged the question, unimpressed by dazai’s frustration. he expected it. tears welled up in dazai’s eyes as he scraped the bandages from his face, breathing heavily. “you’re lying! you’re just messing with me! he’s still alive! he has to be!.. you... i will kill you, chuuya! you had no right to take him from me! to take him from the only universe where he is alive–” chuuya listened carefully to dazai’s words, his expression oddly hard to read as he conveyed no emotion whatsoever. a barely audible sigh escaped his lips before dazai’s fit of rage was momentarily silenced as chuuya grabbed his chin and kissed him. dazai’s eyes widened in shock and he seemed stunned for once in his life.

chuuya’s lips were awfully soft, sending dazai into a delirious frenzy as he was distracted by the sweet taste. the corners of chuuya’s mouth curved into a faint smirk, and he seemed pleased with dazai’s reaction as he closed his eyes. eventually, he tightened his grip on dazai’s chin to hold him in place and deepened the kiss. dazai’s shock lingered, yet he couldn’t ignore the suffocating warmth welling up in his chest or the quickening of his heartbeat. still, he could never forgive chuuya for what he’s done, which is why he tried so hard to break away from the sudden kiss. in the end, he managed to wriggle his hands free and tried futility to push him away, accidentally knocking over his iv bag and ripping out the tubes that were connected to his veins. with a sharp and unpleasant sting, the needle forcefully exited his skin and he writhed in pain, his lips parting ever so slightly. the expected scream, however, is abruptly stifled as chuuya’s tongue sensually slided into dazai’s mouth, eliciting a low moan from him. chuuya’s grin widened at the sound of dazai’s voice, while dazai’s cheeks seemed to flare.

with his mind barely functioning, he clinged to chuuya, his eyes slowly falling shut. a single tear traced its path down his cheek as a profound sense of self-disgust washed over him. though he found solace in chuuya’s touch, oda’s face haunted every corner of dazai’s thoughts, leaving him no room to fully enjoy the sensation chuuya was giving him. not that he would allow himself to actually crave another human being’s warmth anyway. dazai was far too stubborn for that. no matter how much he longed for someone to finally fill the heart-shaped void in his chest, he knew that no one would be naive enough to actually try and navigate through the darkness that engulfed him, especially now that the only person who had ever been capable of soothing some of his agony was dead. and chuuya certainly wouldn't replace the last bit of him left in his heart.

chuuya didn’t seem to be thinking straight anymore as he put more force into the kiss and grew more and more desperate. to him, this was all he ever wanted. in a moment of weakness, he bit dazai’s lower lip, breaking the delicate skin. it darkened rather quickly, leaving behind a visible bruise and a smear of crimson at the corner of dazai’s mouth. chuuya pulled back after needing to catch his own breath for a moment. he held up dazai’s chin, seemingly engrossed in the way his tears mingled with the small amount of blood, while dazai barely reacted to the stinging sensation the salty wetness caused. “oh, how beautiful. you really are the best…” chuuya cooed, his voice dripping with affection as he admired how gorgeous dazai looked. his dazai. a wide smile adorned chuuya’s lips as his pupils dilated at the pure sight of him.

dazai on the other hand was left speechless. he didn’t know what to say, nor what to feel or what to look at. he was completely overwhelmed and all he wanted to do was scream. scream at the world for being so full of injustice, scream at himself for being so useless, scream until his burning throat dulled all the other painful sensations, and scream until he had no oxygen left in his lungs. his eyes darted across chuuya’s face, unable to settle on a single place as he tried to drown out his terribly tranquillizing voice. everything felt so wrong, so surreal. his heart was throbbing with an indescribable amount of pain, and he felt like he'd grow manic if he had to look at chuuya any second longer. while he was once dazai’s sole reason not to end his miserable life, he is now the only reason why he doesn’t want to wake up ever again.

↪thanks for reading! reblogs are appreciated! MLIST

copyright © mqdilen 2024 all rights reserved.

[sirenrena]

spring spring spring

[contemplativepancakes]

sunsets for somebody else

Daphne runs into her long lost husband arguing with another man in the grocery store. Things start to take a turn when she realizes they're married.

The bottle of bleach drops from Daphne’s hand into her cart, landing with a sloshing thud as she takes in the scene in front of her, frozen in her tracks. Emmanuel is standing right in front of her, arguing with another man about cleaning supplies.

Wearing a beige trench coat for some inexplicable reason—it’s almost 90 degrees outside—Emmanuel listens to a man who’s explaining in minute detail how to clean an oven. They’re both wearing wedding rings, and Daphne’s heart swells for a moment before she realizes it’s a different ring from the one she gave Emmanuel all those years ago.

“Dean, I don’t think this is safe for Jack. This is going to create noxious fumes,” Emmanuel says, squinting at the ingredients of the cleaner apparently-Dean had thrust at him.

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, and Daphne squeezes the handle of her shopping cart harder, feeling faint. It’s not every day you come across your long lost husband at the Stop N’ Shop.

“I think the kid can take some fumes,” Dean says, plucking the bottle out of Emmanuel’s hands and putting it in the cart. “We wouldn’t even have to worry about this if someone didn’t let the pizza fall onto the bottom of the oven.”

“The directions said to put it directly on the middle rack!” Emmanuel protests, and Dean rubs a hand down Emmanuel’s back in a familiar way that makes Daphne’s stomach roil.

She’s not jealous, she’s not. She was just helping Emmanuel when she found him, after all. Their marriage was simply one of…convenience for Emmanuel. It’s not like he had a birth certificate with him, or a social security number. What did Daphne get out of all this? Well. Daphne looks at his cheek bones wistfully, her gaze dipping down to his strong forearms his trench coat is rolled up to reveal.

Dean rolls his eyes fondly, and then he tugs Emmanuel into his side, kissing him on the temple. Daphne jerks her stare away for a moment before returning it, noticing now that their wedding rings match.

“Emmanuel?” she chokes out, against her better judgment.

For a long second, she doesn’t think Emmanuel heard her, but he turns around. “Daphne?”

Daphne nods, her words forsaking her. She doesn’t miss the way Dean clutches possessively at Emmanuel’s hip.

“I…thought you were dead,” she finally says. “I filed a missing person report.”

Dean squints at her, before something like recognition passes over her face, and now that she thinks about it, Daphne recognizes him, too. He’s the one who showed up right before everything went to shit. Horror stories of Stockholm syndrome flash through her mind.

“Emmanuel, are you…happy?” she settles on.

Emmanuel gives her a smile, leaning harder into Dean. “I am.”

“Good. That’s. Good,” she says, a strangled look on her face, she’s sure. “Would you want to catch up some time?” she asks before she fully registers what’s coming out of her mouth.

Emmanuel gives her a warm smile. “I’d love that.”

As they set up a time to get coffee, Daphne tries to ignore the glare Dean levels at her throughout the whole conversation. He insists that their meeting be tomorrow, since apparently they won’t be in the area for long. Daphne tries to ignore the warning bells in her mind that tell her she’s about to get murdered and takes solace in the fact that at least they’re meeting in a public place.

Besides, even if Emmanuel’s husband is a serial killer, surely Emmanuel won’t let him murder her, right?

-

The next day, Daphne hems and haws as she debates what to wear. Whatever this is, it’s the exact opposite of a date, anyway. She knocks on the door of her foster child, Alex, to wake them up before she goes into the bathroom to do her hair and makeup. Really, she’s just doing it for herself. She’s allowed to want to look nice!

When she finally deems herself as ready as she’s going to get, she goes back to Alex’s room to make sure they’re actually up. To her pleasant surprise, they’re sitting on the edge of their bed putting on their socks and almost ready. “Excited for school today?” she asks.

Alex makes a face at her. “Never,” they say, but their voice at least has the edge of a smile to it.

They’ve come a long way since they were first placed with her, and even though Daphne knows she shouldn’t be getting overly attached, she can’t help it. She walks down the steps and into the kitchen, deliberating for a moment on breakfast before putting frozen waffles into the toaster. If she’s about to get murdered while Alex is at school, she can at least make sure the last thing she made for them wasn’t cereal.

Alex tromps down the steps, dragging their bookbag behind them, and Daphne hides her smile behind her glass of orange juice. Alex lights up at the sight of the waffles, disturbingly easy to please, as always. They inhale them, as teenagers do, before putting their dishes in the sink. Daphne cracks open her laptop as they wait for the bus, attempting to get some of her work done for the day since she’ll be taking a break later for the coffee. She really hopes her boss doesn’t try and call her while she’s out.

Or, maybe she does. She’s not sure she’s prepared for the level of awkwardness that she’s about to go through, but maybe it won’t be as bad as she thinks. She really wants to know what Emmanuel has been up to for all of this time. She’s still…embarrassingly hung up on him, and it would be nice to get some closure.

The bus pulling up in front of the house jerks her out of her thoughts, and she gives Alex a wave before they race off to get on. She watches them settle into a seat with one of their friends, and smiles at the fact that they even have friends now.

In the end, Daphne doesn’t manage to get much work done before she clambers into her car and drives to the coffee shop they agreed on. She doesn’t really think she needs caffeine with the way her leg is bouncing already.

Emmanuel and Dean are already there when she walks in, Emmanuel with a cup of black coffee he’s dumping sugar packets into and Dean with something with whipped cream and chocolate syrup drizzled on top. She gives them a tentative wave before ordering hot chocolate for herself, settling herself delicately in the seat across from them.

“So,” Dean says. “You were Cas’s wife?”

She squints. “Cas?”

Emmanuel speaks up. “After I regained my memories, I remembered that was my name.”

“Oh.” Smiling weakly, she tries to reconcile that. “You have them all back now?”

Emman—Cas nods.

“Just forgot about me, though?” she tries to ask lightly, but it comes out a little garbled.

“You took advantage of him!” Dean explodes from the other side of the table, making Daphne flinch. “Who the fuck finds someone naked with no memories and marries them?”

“Dean,” Cas chastises, his arm shifting like he’s putting his hand on Dean’s thigh under the table.

“I was helping him,” Daphne says hotly. “Would you have just wanted me to leave him there?”

Cutting Dean off before he can say anything else, Cas looks at Daphne and smiles in a way that makes her heart flutter. “I’m very grateful. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to let you know I was alright.”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair, taking a sip of his sugar monstrosity. He comes away with a whipped cream mustache, and it’s hard not to laugh as he wipes it away in total seriousness.

“So,” Daphne says. “You two have a kid? Jack?”

Scowling, which seems to be Dean’s automatic reflex, he exchanges a glance with Cas before softening. “Yeah, we have a kid. He’s four.”

Daphne thinks maybe Dean should have been a little bit more concerned about the fumes of cleaning chemicals if they have a four year old, but she keeps her judgments to herself. Cas beams. “He’s very bright.”

Returning the smile tentatively, Daphne asks, “How long have you two been married?”

“It’s almost our one year anniversary,” Dean says gruffly.

Daphne tries not to let it affect her, even if that’s more time than she ever got with Cas. “Practically newly weds, then!”

“It’s been an adventure; that’s certain,” Cas says, smiling serenely even as Dean elbows his ribs. “Tell us about you, Daphne. What have you been doing?”

Daphne shrugs a shoulder. “Oh, not too much.” Mourning the man I pulled out of the woods and saved and married, she doesn’t say. She knows Emmanuel never felt the same way about her that she did him. “I got approved to be a foster parent, so I’ve had a few kids come through.”

“Helping people has always been your calling,” Cas says softly.

Daphne takes a few minutes to gush about Alex, and her previous kids before them, before she notices Dean’s not actively glaring at her anymore.

“That’s…nice,” he begrudges when she finishes.

“What do you do, Dean?”

Looking like he just dropped something on his foot, he stammers before he hastily says, “I work construction.”

Daphne squints at him. She has the feeling he’s lying to her, but she has no idea why he would be.

“And what about you, Cas?”

“Oh, I mostly just take care of Jack.”

“You’re a stay at home dad?” she asks, the thought making her stomach twist into knots and heat rise to her face.

“Of a sorts,” Cas agrees.

God, they’re making it impossible to carry on a conversation with them. Daphne keeps a smile pasted to her face. “What do you two do for fun?”

“I’m convinced Dean thinks fun is superfluous,” Cas confides, even as Dean splutters at him. “But I like to drag him to thrift stores with me. Dean likes to bake, also.”

“I work on cars, too,” Dean says, and Daphne can feel his desperation to maintain his facade.

She tries not to quirk a smile at his discomfort. They chat for a while longer, Dean getting increasingly dodgy about the questions she asks before she finally excuses herself to go to the bathroom. She shuts the door behind her and looks down at the dank floor. Is she getting what she wanted out of this? She has no idea what she even imagined happening when she asked to catch up. Emmanuel running away with her? Maybe in her wildest fantasies. Taking a deep breath to ground herself, she looks in the mirror and checks her makeup, rubbing at her under eye circles before walking back out of the bathroom.

Cas is at the counter ordering another drink, for Dean, by the sound of the sugar content, and she walks over to him. Hesitating before she bites the bullet, she asks, “You’re not…like, being held against your will, right? That Dean seems,” she pauses, “interesting.”

Cas laughs warmly, putting a hand over Daphne’s. “No, nothing like that. This is a choice of my own free will, believe it or not. Dean is much more caring than he lets on.”

Well, Daphne’s not sure she believes it, but. At least he’s happy, and in the end, that’s all she’s ever wanted for him.