#this wasn't supposed to end up being this long but i'm obviously processing things in here sjhfksf im ok im okay

[vickyvicarious]

i'm catching up on my dracula daily and... wtf is up with that letter from Whitby Lucy wrote saying how much better she is doing? is she just lying to mina to not concern her during her honeymoon? because it goes against her last journal entry (where she says she's still feeling bad) and against arthur's letter from the following day asking for jack's help. like, what's up with that bit? do you think this entry was misplaced somewhere along the editing process?

Yeah, you've found the same thing that's had all the Daily readers scratching their heads. I've debated about it myself in the past, but I've landed pretty firmly on my interpretation. Short answer: it's probably just a timeline error on Stoker's part.

Long answer: As you say, it contradicts both Lucy's diary entry, and Arthur's letter on either side of this entry. For this to be the correct timing of the letter, she would have to be lying to Mina very blatantly and deliberately. While hiding her own distress so as not to worry others is very characteristic of Lucy, such blatant and extreme lying (sleeping super well! big appetite! and all those sports!) is not. It would be more typical of her to just not mention much about her own health, if it had worsened again.

Characterization aside, the letter being a lie goes against the theme throughout the book of the characters being emotionally honest with one another in the writing they share. Sure, they keep secrets and communication problems are a big theme as well (as we've already seen) but the documents themselves being trustworthy is a major element. I won't get into spoilers, but think about what we've already seen with Jonathan: he himself is uncertain about whether he was mad or not, but his journal holds the truth. Both we the audience, and the characters believe that. Jonathan tells Mina that "The secret is here, and I do not want to know it." Mina seals it shut because she chooses not to know with him on his request. But if she were to read it, she would know. Because his diary is true. As are all the other documents. They might not show a whole picture individually, but they aren't lies. That would go against the themes of the novel.

A final reason I don't think Lucy is lying here is logistical. The letter is postmarked from Whitby. But both her journal entry before it and Arthur's letter after it are from London (she's writing from her family home, Hillingham, and his letter is from Albemarle hotel in Piccadilly). So, in order for this to work, she would have to engage in much more intentional/difficult subterfuge. She'd have to either a) have someone take the letter to Whitby and mail it from there (unlikely; she doesn't seem to trust her vulnerabilities to her servants, and she doesn't like to make big asks, for just two reasons) b) write that it's from Whitby inside the letter and then send it from London and possibly expose the lie or bring up questions of why she waited until she left Whitby to send this letter without at least adding a postscript to that effect, or c) go to London, get ill, go back to Whitby, lie about being fine, then go back to London again the next day and continue being ill. Obviously that's massively unlikely. And there's no reason to even pretend to be in Whitby instead of London in the first place. Their trip wasn't ended because of Lucy's health (in fact, Dracula left Whitby on the 17th of August, and she was already doing better by the 18th/19th). It probably was the time they had planned to come back all along, and if she were lying to Mina she could just as easily lie about being happy and healthy in London as elsewhere.

I've seen it suggested that Lucy wrote the letter in Whitby but just held onto it and didn't send it until later, but that doesn't resolve the postmark. Also, her letter is a response to Mina's, with direct references to things like Mina and Jonathan being married now, and Jonathan being ill. I suppose one could argue that she was just anticipating they would be married/Jonathan would need to recover based on things Mina said before leaving Whitby, but it still feels odd.

So, with all of those reasons why Lucy can't be lying... I've got to conclude it's a simple timeline error, much like Seward's missing week (and/or three days) between 19/20 August. In fact, both of these errors being near the end of August suggests that Stoker may have had an idea of a more extended timeline around these events at first, and some lines/dates just never got edited to match the more condensed timeline we see in the book.

Lucy's letter appears as a response to Mina's (it's placed right after her wedding letter in the original book format) and while the experience in Dracula Daily is a stinging ominous contrast of Mina's joy and Lucy's alarming first diary entry which is very reminiscent to the early experience of Jonathan suffering/the ladies happily talking about summer plans... I don't think it's intended to be so direct a contrast in this case. Rather, we should be getting the brief lull on both fronts. Jonathan is alive! Mina has happily married him! Lucy is all better! Arthur has rejoined her! We get a brief moment of reunion and happiness for both couples, a small moment of relief before the pain comes rushing back in. But both of these come right after Seward's entry which ends with Renfield warning "It is coming—coming—coming!" so we know that the reprieve will be short. It's just slightly different pacing than what the daily format gives us.

(Also, the letter being true means Lucy and Arthur get to be happy together for a while before being separated again. Lucy gets to be healthy for a while before her 'mystery illness' returns. And I'm happy to let her have those things.)

In fact, speaking of original layout... Chapter 8 ends with Seward's August 19 entry. Then Chapter 9 begins like this: Mina's letter (August 24), Lucy's letter (August 30), Seward's diary (August 20), Lucy's diary (August 24), Arthur's letter (August 31). Once again we have some timeline confusion, and while the book as a whole is much less linear with the events it shows us, and definitely jumps back and forth a few days on more than one occasion, that still looks odd to me. My book has a footnote which suggests that Lucy's letter was meant to be send on the 20th instead, but of course that would mean she was writing before the letter she's ostensibly replying to. This could cause a minor cascade of other adjustments needing to be made. I've also seen it suggested here on tumblr (in this post by @thegoatsongs) that maybe Lucy's letter was received on the 30th, not sent. Her first letter (the one sent in emails on May 11) isn't actually dated, so this wouldn't be the first time dating oddness happened around her letters.

So... yeah, those are pretty much the reasons why Lucy probably is telling the truth, and Stoker/an editor who should've caught this kind of thing just messed up!

[martinsharmony]

In defense of RP Shipping and RP Fiction

I don’t normally come out and give my opinion on things like this so plainly about such controversial things. I tend to shy away from confrontational writing such as this. However this idea has been brewing in my mind for some time now so I had to write it.

I am a Real Person Shipper.

I’m seeing people talk a lot more about RP shipping (and the hate towards it) since David Tennant and Michael Sheen appeared smiling at each other in a photo after David's appearance in Macbeth.

RP Shipping is not a choice.

When I caught the shipping bug, it hit me like lightning. It occurred to me one night as I lay in bed next to the husband with which I had a deteriorating relationship: “are there stories about Dave Gahan and Martin Gore…being together??”

Dave Gahan/Martin Gore (Gahore) are in Depeche Mode. They were my 1st ship as an adult. You can read about it here. Obviously Depeche Mode is a band so there is no fictional narrative anywhere to follow. I quickly learned that RP shipping was taboo. However in my shipping community we all shipped the band so I was more or less insulated from it.

I dove in headfirst. I literally couldn’t not do it. It was something my brain needed. Sure I could have forced myself to not go look for it because of some kind of moral (?) imperative which I wasn’t even aware of at the time, but even if I stopped myself, that would not stop my brain from wanting it. Making up stories and scenarios. Finding evidence in videos, songs, interviews, etc. I shipped these two people because of what I had observed between them.

I saw love. So did my shipping friends. We all saw it. I needed to experience it. My life lacked it.

My next RP ship was Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch (FreeBatch). First I fell in love with Sherlock and John, obviously. But then as I started to follow the fandom, I started noticing the same things that others noticed. My brain just went there. I literally had no choice. It’s not as if I could tell my brain “don’t do that”. It would not listen. You can’t tell a starving person to not think about food. In fact telling them that probably makes it worse.

In my personal life, I had been through a breakup with the man I dated after I got divorced, and then I began dating a woman for the 1st time. I really started to relate what I was seeing on the screen and reading on Tumblr and in fic to my own life. I was starting to process my own bisexuality. I started to notice things about Martin and Ben that other people were noticing too. Shipping them helped me navigate that time in my life because I saw myself in it. I related to it. But it wasn't a choice. My brain just went there. Maybe I was Baader-Meinhoffing but even if I was, that doesn’t mean it’s something I didn’t need to explore, work out in my mind, and discover.

Shennant (Michael Sheen and David Tennant) is my 3rd RP ship. Yes I fell in love with Aziraphale and Crowley of course, but again, as I started to follow the fandom and David’s and Michael’s careers specifically, watching interviews, watching Staged, etc, I started noticing the same thing that many others noticed. I literally couldn’t help it. My brain, again, just went there. Also in Staged of course, they play themselves. I have to say that my RP Shipping really took off after I watched them in that. They play themselves. Their actual partners are in it. If one were to write Staged fic, is that not RPF? Where is the line between what is supposed to be okay and what is not?

Again, with this ship, I had big things going on in my personal life. Dad passed away almost a year and a half ago, and now I'm taking care of my elderly mom long distance. It's a huge emotional burden. I'm not dating anyone right now mostly because of that but also because I was in a poly relationship with the male half of a het married couple (longtime friends of mine) that ended extraordinarily painfully (so this was V or chain-style poly not group-sex poly). Since then I've been alone for more than 2 years. I'm still getting over it.

The love I see between Michael and David feels unconditional. I see adoration. If they are indeed in a healthy poly relationship, my god, how on earth did they do that? Even while navigating fame? It’s certainly a lot more difficult than my own situation. I can explore it: What kind of person feels safe to me the way I believe David feels safe with Michael? What kind of relationship can withstand the kind of obstacles they (and I) might face? What would have had to actually happened for them to be as happy as they seem to be? What discussions were had? What agreements were reached? How does one do this the right way? What does that tell me about my own relationship and what went wrong? What should have happened?

This is, in its most academic sense, a tool for my brain to heal and to discover what kind of a relationship I want. And my brain knows it. That’s why it ships. My heart doesn’t know that. It just knows I love seeing them happy together. This is the magnet that drew me.

RP Shipping helps us to work shit out in our personal lives.

I bought Spark edited by Atlin Merrick recently. One of the essays by Angela Nauss, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) really stood out to me is titled Sympathy for the Devil: Attachment Theory and FanFiction.

The article is about fanfiction authors, however I would extrapolate this to include readers and RP Shippers as well. RP Shippers are authors of narratives in their own mind, even if they are not always written down.

From the book:

“Fanfiction authors process attachment wounds using fictional characters as proxies…to process and understand the origin of the problems encountered during adolescence.”

“Some authors write fanfiction to humanize uncomfortable aspects of their identity, grieve and repair damaged relationships, and process attachment wounds…by exploring how the character would behave in adaptive relationships.”

“Fanfiction authors project their unconscious trauma onto the characters.”

“The characters gain insight into their behavior and no longer feel responsible for their childhood attachment wounds. Through their writing, the author incorporates repressed trauma and attachment wounds into their conscious experience and achieves catharsis.”

“Writing fanfiction is a valid form of therapeutic self-exploration.”

I’ve been in therapy for several years, In fact the poly relationship I was in is why I seeked out therapy in the 1st place. I know that shipping these people, exploring aspects of that, is helping me to heal attachment wounds and the trauma caused by past relationships.

As part of my healing from this poly relationship I was in, I intend to write a meta and/or a fic about David and Michael. I know it will aid in my healing. I may or may not post it.

Also, even Shakespeare wrote RPF.

I’m seeing people say that we RP Shippers are terrible, immoral, disgusting, gross people and that we want David and Michael to leave their partners. That we want to break up their families. Let me be clear that I want nothing of the sort.

There are people out there that want to "protect" them from this “immorality” by shaming us, berating us, calling us names. Even sending certain blogs directly to Georgia and Anna! This is the exact opposite of what actions like this are actually doing. This does not protect them from harm. It creates it.

There is no such thing as thought crime.

Not only is it impossible for me to choose not to ship these people, but I also get the sense that even thinking about it is supposed to be wrong. That it makes me an immoral person.

Something I keep seeing is that people are so upset that we RP Shippers are doing this. Like, why don’t we just, stop. Just look at all the other appropriate characters that are out there to ship! Or just never start in the first place. As if this was a choice we are making to consciously ship real people.

When shippers ship a couple, do they choose that couple consciously? Do they say, hmm, I'm going to ship X person and Y person because it's...logical? Or for whatever consciously thought of reason? I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for mostly all shippers and say no. Shippers ship because we see something in those 2 characters that we are drawn to like magnets, for whatever reason. Real People included. If you're on Tumblr for a fandom and read fic, you know what I'm talking about.

Male/Male relationships is a fetish, or a kink, for me. And by extension, RPS/RPF as well. I do enjoy thinking about what might be the "reality" behind the curtain that we are shown as part of their public personas. This is part of the ingredients to this fetish, or kink, for me.

Kink is defined by Wikipedia as “the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” (a “kink”) in one’s sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour.”

A fetish is defined by Wikipedia as referring “to any sexually arousing stimuli, not all of which meet the medical criteria for fetishism. This broader usage of fetish covers parts or features of the body (including obesity and body modifications), objects, situations and activities (such as smoking or BDSM).”

Generally, modern sexual health thinking seems to say “So long as your fetish doesn’t get in the way of your own well-being, the safety of others, and your partners participate enthusiastically, there is nothing wrong with it.”

It seems to be another taboo to claim gay (or bi/pansexual) men as a fetish, or a kink. There are some who claim that it’s objectifying the very real experiences of gay men. I struggle with this because I can't deny that I enjoy it but I also don't want to hurt anyone.

I am not a gay man. I will never be a gay man. I am a cis bisexual woman. I can never know what that experience is like. This is, in essence, the core of the fantasy. It can feel as good and perfect and romantic and loving as I want it to be because I don’t have the parts or experience to know it first hand. Therefore I've come to the conclusion that my thoughts in my head and anything I write down in a safe space does not hurt anyone. For me personally, it’s a way to disconnect from myself. People enjoy fic for all sorts of reasons. I shouldn’t have to prove that my reasons are "wholesome" to be allowed to enjoy it.

I don’t enjoy reading het fiction for reasons I won’t go into, however they are probably not individual to just me alone. Hoards of women like me also enjoy the same thing.

So yeah. To the surprise of absolutely no one, thinking about Michael and David, or Martin and Ben, or Dave and Martin, or men in general, kissing or having sex or a romance with each other – turns me on. That leads me to state the following:

Anti-RP Shipping and Anti-RP Fiction is kink shaming.

When I say "Anti", I'm referring to those who loudly object to it. Not those who (thankfully) say "that's not for me" and move on. Just like I would with say, Omegaverse.

Because my interpretation of these real people is in reality, “fiction” in my own head, then by definition all RP Shipping is RP Fiction. It cannot be reality because I don’t know them. Therefore any stories, speculation, comments, analysis, conclusions, art, etc, IS ALL FICTION.

Real people are characters to your brain.

Obviously I don’t know them personally, so anything that I were to believe or create in my head about them is by definition, fiction. My brain makes it up according to what I’ve seen, read, heard, observed and drew conclusions from. This creates a fictional reality for my brain to consume. It can’t be reality because I don’t know them.

Wikipedia says RPF writers are “building a fictional universe based on the supposed real-life histories of their idols. Information from interviews, documentaries, music videos, and other publicity sources are assimilated into the stories. It is also very popular to write fiction about celebrity couples. Communities of writers build collective archetypes based on the celebrities' public personas".

I would never, under any circumstances, present any RPS/RPF questions, stories, insinuations, or even mention it at all directly to the actors/musicians/personalities or their partners or even anyone associated with them. I would be beyond embarrassed to do so. Even though Michael himself seems to be accepting of it, I would never present it to him. Never. (I mean it’s not like I could really anyway but still).

I believe that 99.9% of RP Shippers would do the same. It’s the .01% that have done so (and unscrupulous “journalists” looking to shock by asking questions/showing them the RPF, and those people claiming to prevent harm by sending it directly to them “for legal action” or tattletale “look at what these terrible people are doing” and blaming the RP shippers for creating it – wow talk about projection) -that make a bad name for us all. Showing it to them and asking them about it IS a choice.

If RP Shipping is not a choice, a way to work out personal mental health issues, is fictional by definition, and a non-pathological aid to sexual excitement that hurts no one if it is contained within safe spaces such as fic sites and Tumblr, then what exactly is the harm?

Tumblr is a safe space.

Why is there such vitriol against RP Shipping and RPF? You claim to be protecting the actors or people in question, but by raising your voices so loudly in various ways, you are harming the very person you claim to be protecting. I think you have to ask what it is within yourself that makes you so aggressively hate this? Why can't we just say "that's not for me" and move on?

Don't we on Tumblr and on AO3 celebrate non-mainstream ideas such as this? Or if not celebrate, at least live and let live. The fact is that Tumblr is supposed to be a safe space. I should feel safe speaking my mind here. I know quite a few RP shippers follow me so I don't feel completely alone, but I don't feel entirely safe posting this.

My morality is not yours to police.

I strongly doubt I’ll be changing anyone’s mind with this. If you’re Anti RP shipping and Anti RPF you’re probably going to stay that way.

Don’t like, don’t read.

You can unfollow, block people, block tags, filter tags on AO3...any number of things. Think of it like a trigger. Just please don't spew hate.

[speremint]

Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

[cecedownbad]

Been on my mind for sometime (call it stupid but let me have a moment). I wrote this with Vendetta Leon in mind.

How pissed would Leon be in an isekai trope? The reader (you) opens up to him about what this world is in your original place, sure it's still Earth but not the same thing. He obviously would be stunned, beyond words would laugh at you for even saying, "we're in a...videogame....you are a videogame character....", Cause you're joking, right? A videogame? His life is a....videogame? You're fucking serious?

And that's when you try and explain to him that it isn't a lie, and he can't accept it, understandably. I would imagine he then processes it all little by little, letting it all simmer in his mind before the anger and disbelief takes a hold, "So, you, whoever the fuck you are," Uh Oh, "You don't belong to this 'world', you're from a different Earth that is normal, doesn't have any B.O.Ws, the dead stay dead, no evil corporation trying to make monsters to support the military and you somehow, with some shit luck, managed to make it to our Earth, a bit more fucked up and this Earth ends up being from a known Videogame you've played before?" He said it, phrasing the end like a question, oh but he knew he didn't need an answer to what he listed out.

"This whole place, this mess we're in, the people we lost are what? Entertainment to you? As if learning that there will always be assholes who make B.O.Ws wasn't enough, our world is nothing but a videogame to you fuckers to play around with huh?" This doesn't sit right with you, now all you feel is utter regret for even opening your mouth. You knew Leon, thought of him like a person even before this whole thing went down. He was a person in your mind like most of the characters save for a few. You couldn't say anything to him, what could you have said that made him feel better? Feel less...this?

"Why did you bother telling me all this, should have just shut up, should have told me to stop asking questions! This is.... ridiculous, you waltz in here, acting like you had amnesia, but you had an uncanny knowledge for all the B.O.Ws we've fought with in the past. Not to mention how you knew, exactly what shit I went through, how I grew up and it all boils down to us being a part of some, what? Over millions of people's entertainment?...I need you to leave."

"Wait, Leon—"

"I said leave, goddamit!"

Quietly you get up from the chair, placed by a rounded table. Walking away from all this but it never does sit right with you. Having no idea of what Leon could be thinking sends you into a panic, but that felt selfish to you. To be thinking about the toll it would take on you compared to the blow it would be on him, his whole life is a lie at that point. But you slowly felt it sit in that puddle of rotting emotions, how long would he be pissed at you for his life?

This is unfair, an agreement falls on that but what does it take for him to take your words seriously ever? Scoffing at every remark you make, every suggestion, every idea you place on the table, with all his responses being along the lines of, "Let me guess? A videogame taught you that?" Believing that all of this, was your fault?

"Leon—you know what? You were right, I really should not have told you anything—"

"Guess we're on the same page then,"

"—I'm not finished, I shouldn't have told you anything because it seems like you want to understand the situation in your own fucking terms of ignorance. I didn't make this fucking game!"

The two of you sat in silence, Leon's expression leaving a trail of bitter annoyance. "I didn't make you, I didn't do any of this, fuck, you think I wanted to be here? You think for a fucking second that hey, maybe I shouldn't put the blame on you for finally being trusting enough to open up to me about this. It's a shitty situation, you don't want to be here, well, neither do I!" It was so insanely stupid, why were you even yelling at him? What was this conversation supposed to lead to? A happy ending of accepting your differences? Holding your hands together in understanding?

This was it, maybe this is where the two part ways. Not having to see your face would make his days a little better, although the idea of all this still sits on him, at least your presence won't further the thought. This was what you needed, it was a horrible few months, being here, trapped, opening up about any of this only lead to your string of regrets making an entrance.

Without a word, you walked away. There was no call to make you stop, no rushing footsteps to hold you back, nothing.

I'm sorry, I got carried away here, got invested in my thoughts so quickly. Just an idea that I dragged on to be honest, but honestly, I would imagine this would piss all of the characters off, not only Leon. Imagine Chris? Damn.

[delladuck]

tw// discussion of postpartum depression and depression in general… this is a long post of random Della thoughts

Okay, so I've been thinking about that post I just reblogged a lot because I really the concept of Theory 4 (I know it's sad but it feels so real). I just have minor adjustments in my head. For instance, I personally don't see Della caring about the triplets father at all. Like, my guy was definitely not involved. I really see Della as a free spirit, and I can’t really see her ever wanting to be in a committed relationship… Wow, I'm sorry, I make everything about her sad. In my brain/headcanon world, every relationship she has had always crashes and burns because she doesn't like feeling tied down. She’s always running…. Anyway, about the postpartum depression, I feel like she suffered so badly from it— only not in the way where she wanted to hurt them lol. She just didn't feel bonded or connected and became depressed from that. That's why she was avoidant and would seem at times (to her family) like she wasn't being "responsible". Along with the depression, they also served as a reminder that everything is going to change. So what does she do? She runs.

I love the explanations for Donald and Scrooge under Theory 4. Head-on-the-nail for their thought process and feelings. But yeah, she finally thinks of the SOS and for the first time in months, feels something other than the nagging continuous depression. She thinks that if she can go the distance, do something as extraordinary as space travel, that it will prove things can still be the same and even potentially propel her out of her depressed state. She won't have to "settle down" as she’s constantly being reminded. I don't think it was to get away from her responsibility, I think she was completely overwhelmed and conflicted because of the effects of postpartum.

Being on the moon brings her entirely new traumas. Instead of getting help and speaking out when she was on earth, she’s now literally trapped. Her isolation is, obviously, no longer in her head. Queen, I'm so sorry (as if I'm talking to her LOL). Damn, she really was stranded on the moon by herself for a decade! Her untreated depression worsens into something entirely new (PTSD...!).

She obviously loves the triplets. I think that, relatively quickly, her time on the moon, when things went from bad to worse, her idea worked in a way? It certainly was something to knock her out of her “funk” (postpartummm). The kids are her motivation to keep fighting. She would take care of them. She would make it all up. She was committed, but how the duck was she supposed to think that anything could go wrong when Scrooge McDuck built this for her? Encouraged her to go for it? He always kept her safe and so on and on and on. She tried to free herself following his example and lost everything in her search for how things used to be (insert that Frank post about Scrooge betting it all and willing to rebuild from scratch if he looses everything).

It just seems like she was dealing with a lot— especially internally. So much was happening at once. My girl got so mentally ill. Like, being alive is so complicated… Deyla… I feel like she had a lot of highs and lows, but the lows were more often, common, and longer. One day she would feel like, “This is awesome. My kids are going to be the coolest and I can't wait to show them everything,” then the following week is unending flow of, “There’s too much to do and so many ways to screw up. Why is there so much that goes into taking care of them? They can’t really expect me to stay in the mansion for months on end right? I want to take care of them. I can’t take care of them. Donald thinks he knows everything. I'm a failure. They’re just eggs. What am I supposed to do with that? Yep, I feel soooo bonded... I’m a bad mom. Why don’t I feel the way that I should?” But of course, she’s stubborn and doesn’t tell anyone. So Donald labels her as irresponsible, and Scrooge don’t really gaf tbh because he thinks it will all smooth over and be fine as soon as they hatch. Troll goes ahead and builds SOS and the rest is history. I’m not really sure where I meant to go with this. I drew fanart the other night thinking about this, rediscovered that post I reblogged, and now here I am typing the thought process of a duck that I headcanon to have had postpartum depression. This is all just random and just what I think. I'm sure there are other posts like this but I just spent all this time typing this out so I figure, why not post? Goodnight.

[greatkittydream]

The Creature from the dungeon. 1

"thinking"

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Journal entry 1

I've kept a collection of my thoughts to keep myself from going fucking insane and that if any sentient life were to find this they may be able to decipher it Leaving the basic letters of the alphabet above obviously.

okay let's recount the day me one Jacob Augustine, I was about to attend my first year of college to become an bioengineer, I just graduated high school with steady A's and B's and was planning to become an bioengineer. One in a medical field at that.

On the week before summer ended, I was making my way down to a convenience store a block away from where I live. mostly complaining that I feel like I'm wasting my life away, thinking of what else I can do to make sure once I die, I won't die with regrets. And then bam, I end up here.

Here being some.... have no fucking idea how to describe this biome, it has the floral density of a jungle yet not nearly enough insects or Wildlife to be a jungle it's more like a collection of plants than anything else. I have met sparse few insects in this jungle? It has animals, but oddly enough, no fungus.

Which is weird given the fact that they're the backbone of most jungles for recycling dead Organic matter. Not to mention, none of these plants show characteristics of jungle plants.

There are no waxy leaves to deposit water close to the roots, nor do they extend high into the sky or grow wide enough to collect any sunlight that bleeds through the trees.

The insects I have found are not poisonous or at least don't present any of the features of poisonous. No brightly colored features or camouflage.

They do follow the basic figure though of six limbs abdomen thorax and head. But they don't follow any other similarities. I found ants if you could call them that but their jaws were aligned in the opposite direction clamping up and down rather from side to side I've seen them used to great effect against Beatles?

if you could even call it that it's the closest approximation I have for a thickly armored insect, they clamped down, piercing the armor, and then ripped the thing to pieces.

I would be in heaven researching the new Wildlife After all, what self-respecting scientist even if this isn't my Specific area of biological interest wouldn't be in love with researching new things I have found right now. If it wasn't for the fact that I somehow ended up in a place against my will that behaves unlike any other ecological system I've seen.

I will somehow have to create a section in the back of my book detailing my research I have found so far. but that is for a later date. Why was I writing this again oh yeah because the fucking sun doesn't exist or the sky.

Allow me to explain to you dear reader, if you haven't already noticed if you somehow managed to find a clearing to where you can look up to the sky you will see not the sky what a collection of bright crystals somehow.

Illuminating this several mile long area as if it were the sun and it never sets. how do I know it's only several miles long easy I can see the fuckin walls. This illogical place pisses me off on so many levels. The biome I can forgive life does strange shit but the fact that this thing has no support structure whatsoever for Miles holding up.

what I'm assuming to be crystals weighing several tons each emitting a light similar to the effect of the Sun some how? do they go through nuclear Fusion or is it some other type of light emitting process which allows life to thrive down here? And if that's the case why does it look like the wild life/Flora belongs on the surface. to some degree life follows the most, well not efficient but the closest to efficient route it can find, not what looks good.

this is taking its toll on me. I have found myself doing my ticks more than usual. Oh yes, I suppose it may be best for me to explain myself a bit more.

self-report subject Jacob Augustine date of birth July the 13th 2005 age 18 state of birth Tennessee. The subject has autism. His ticks include snapping his fingers in a rapid motion, blinking rapidly, or rubbing the sides of his head. While on the low end of the spectrum he does exhibit his own issues such as his picky diet the way certain things cannot touch him or how illogical things piss him off to a absurd. degree we will see how he fares in this illogical hellhole that does not follow principles or Reason.

Okay, these are my findings for day one. I will update my journal if anything happens.

with a quick snap shut of the book, he looks up all around him. Okay, Jacob, you can do this. You're just in some illogical ecosystem. that does not appear to support a variety of life.

you have so far not identified any viable food options. So let's run through this normally. When stranded in the middle of a forest, you tie brightly colored cloth to branches and try to draw attention to your area for rescue squads.

but seeing as I'm in some confined space with no obvious human habitation, I need to start thinking of survival. In this case, I should climb to the top of a tree and look for a large water body that can support life.

And this will more than likely have some type of fish there that I can eat and water that can be processed to drink. However given the fact that this place is not running on normal principles of biodiversity there's a chance this may go horribly wrong. there could be Birds of Prey bigger than me.

There could be crocodiles that can run on land like its long extinct ancestor. alternatively, I could start clearing out areas and hoping that it rains as unlikely as that is. While cutting down a tree without any immediately available resources for such a task is unviable, it is still feasible given the amount of granite I have found in the area.

my current tools for my survival is my backpack, what was supposed to be a study notes book now turned into personal Journal, a packet of pencils a pencil sharpener, a school water bottle a pair of black Crocs a short sleeve t-shirt and gym shorts, I'm so fucked.

Okay, there are no obvious signs of precipitation that can accumulate off the bat, and cutting down trees would take far more energy than it's worth. so while it is a viable option, it's not one that's optimal. leaving only one other option that I can think of, not like I really have much of a choice. I just hope they have some type of fish I can eat without making myself eat it.

That would will make things a lot smoother. Standing up and looking for the tallest tree he can find in his immediate area he begins to climb. The idea of venomous snakes did not concern him from what he has seen so far there's no prey big enough needed for Venom or predators meaning in all likelihood he would be relatively safe from any possible Ambush predators.

Reaching the top of the tree, he saw vast fields of forest and vegetation. Luckily for him, there was a deposit of water fairly big one at that from what he can tell North words. it looked to be about an hour's jog from where he's at as well.

He was a bit of an introvert and not wanting to go outside more than strictly necessary preferring to spend most of his time with his online friends doing research and watching fun fact videos. But he did still do cardio in order to keep his body from getting health issues that could be easily avoided. he knows for a fact that he can run for about 2 hours, which in his opinion is fairly good with this in mind an hour jog with a 10 minute break in between.

He would arrive at his destination and about 3 hours while not as quick as he would like. This is his best option. With that he got to the lowest branch and hopped off. "it's a good thing I like clothing that allows me to breathe I would be fucked if this was winter clothing was that he began to jog".

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Aafje vo eldertree pov

Big sis please don't go, you promised to spend time with me. I know what I promised, but this is a big day because the raxs just got fully healed, meaning we have our tank in the party, and we can finally enter the lower parts of the dungeon. And it's important they have their healer with them. But can't you just hold off for one more day? You promised me this you're always down in that stupid dungeon. I'll have you know that stupid dungeon is the reason why the eldertree family is as influential as it is. We are nobility based around dungeon delving. pretty soon You'll have to start going as well. Now, hush up please I'm pretty sure my party's outside.

Aafje's big sis had turned around and started making her way to the front door. Currently moping and pouting Aafje was upset her big sister went back on her word but then a devilish thought came to her head: if she was supposed to be going down there soon, what's stopping her from going now? She was a genius considering herself, and she knew his sister would never allow this, so the answer was simple.

Don't tell her to make her way to where she knew her sister kept her supplies. she looked around for the bag that her sister took with her for long trips from what she recalled.

Her sister was going to drop straight down to floor 150 today with the rest of her party through teleportation Crystal and start going to the lower levels.

Having found the bag, she knew she couldn't just take stuff out and sit inside her sister could tell immediately. but what she could do was use a bag of holding too cold the stuff inside while she took its place. And so she did just this. Hearing her big sister coming ada, she immediately went into the bag, hurling stuff into The Magic Bag.

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Ada vo eldertree pov

Yeah, my sis was pretty upset about the news, probably in her room pouting and swearing to hate me forever. Until I come back home with some new toys or cool stuff for her. A gruff voice responded to her one Aafje recognized as raxs.

I kind of feel like a dick I mean, this is supposed to be a day for you two. You think she'd forgive me if I gave her something, what do elves like? Just bring her home a new toy and some candy and she'll be right as rain with you, now hurry up we need to go And I don't want to leave your green butt behind Mr I can stop a charging boss monster.

Please stop bringing that up, It was the 60th floor boss. I thought I could stop it on my own I learned my lesson I'm not indestructible please stop bringing that up. Yeah, well we're going to start heading down to the level we're humans start spawning, and as you well know an encounter with a human may as well be a death sentence. So please keep your wits about you, and don't let your ego take over.

walking over and grabbing her bag and swinging it over her back, she never noticed how uneven it felt. She was quite nervous today her party had actually set a record by making it to the 160th floor without encountering a human.

Meeting up with the rest of her party, her raxs, Stone. and Lionheart. a party composed of an elf, an orc, a dwarf and a Dragonborn. Not the weirdest part of you can see, but certainly, an odd one, most species tend to stay with each other. Making their way outside.

They see the great tower of the dungeon 10 miles wide in any direction, going uncountable numbers deep into the Earth. This was their destination. Walking through the bustling Street filled with all manner of species and Monday activities, in the great city of Carthage, anything could be found. The dungeon attracted all walks of life.

arriving at the dungeon management agency, a government-run facility in order to maximize profit and prevent loss of life though most of the time it just ends up being a bureaucrats dream job of having to not do anything. Most people aren't stupid enough to enter the dungeon unless prepared. Making our way down the street, I noticed something. There was a group arguing with the front counter.

"I had a feeling these were rookies". So she walked up to them and introduced herself. I am ada vo eldertree. I couldn't help noticing with the clerk here, I have a feeling you're new to the dungeon. A dark elf responded. How could you tell?

You're arguing with the clerk you never argue with the clerk They hand out the most recent information regarding migrational species in the dungeon updates to terrain and all sorts of other useful stuff but they don't have to give it out don't make enemies of the clerks may I ask what you were arguing about.

Me and my compatriots here, and I wanted to go to the lower levels and fight some of the higher tear of your monsters. we were former mercenaries. After all, we've taken up the adventuring business, specifically dungeon-delivers

I see how that could become a problem. What's your level and what floor were you wanting to go to.

Level 30, and we want to go down to Floor 110.

you wouldn't make it even if you teleport down to that floor, each floor increases by one level you're going to Face Off monsters at level 110 range. not to mention, although extremely rare humans have been known to spawn there on occasion.

We are dark elves, and we come from Noble lineages. Our level 30 is not the same as a plebeians. And why should I care about some monster type they all die the same.

This Comet pissed her off. well, normally monsters are around the same level of difficulty if you could call it that per level. but humans are something completely different. There were known as raid bosses, meaning that every one of their levels is the equivalent to 10 on a regular level. so a level one human is a level 10 standard, and this is for 110, they're level 1100.

Not to mention, there are special species stats that include Mana absorption from the air. or they're insane musculature and stamina. I don't think I need to continue. Just know that if you run into one hide and run, they don't have the best sense of smell.

"Fucking idiots we're going to die if they ran into a human. there's a reason why noble families founded on dungeon dwellers were so strong through generations of survival of the fittest."

Each one of their levels was equivalent to five levels higher and the standard and even they struggled against humans they were the kings of the dungeons you don't fuck with them.

Let's just get going. We don't want to get behind besides I think we can make it to floor 199 if we're lucky we do have a month to do this after all. then they'll start sending Rescuers and that's always a pain with paperwork.

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Lord Vect pov

Who the hell is that bitch think she is talking to me like that, that high elf scum should be kissing my boots that I even talk to her.

Lord, what do you think we should do?

Isn't it obvious we're going to liberate that fine gear from them while down in the dungeonWho knows she might make find slave work, whether it be in the brothels or a whipping bitch it does not matter money can always made on suffering of others.

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Jacob pov

You know this place is actually kind of lovely. Oh God, I'm talking to myself. I'm going insane already. Egh fuck it may as well make a Wilson while I'm here. After seeing the clearing up ahead, he knew that he was getting close to the water source, deciding to jog harder. and farther, he finally made it out of the clearing, and what he saw was beautiful a ring of sand surrounded. A large lake connected into the Great Wall surrounding this place surrounding that wall was purple crystals that were different from the light blue ones up above what surprised him the most, though there are other humans.

naked shortish about 5’4 for humans. But still humans it's not insane to think of nudist culture could pop up, and with how small this area is to live in, and it makes sense that they'd be shorter natural selection dictates with less nutrients available, being smaller is more advantageous.

I just hope they're not cannibalistic or violently aggressive to foreign things. HAY, HAY over Here. Quickly jogging up to the other humans, there were about 10 of them four female six male. They turn their heads to me in a lazy way before going back to what they were doing.

Coming to a stop to the closest one, a young guy, probably about 26, with brown hair and brown eyes and pale skin. Hey, do you know where we are… Do you speak English… I know Germen Wissen Sie, wo wir sind… um shit okay um. Fuck how do you say do you know where we are in Spanish again God damn it 16-year-old Jacob you should have paid attention in Spanish class more, okay. Um I know you don't understand me but you must understand I'm trying to communicate with you so “pointing towards self” I'm Jacob “ pointing towards the guy” you are?.. not even going to find me with an answer okay. Fuck you too asshole.

Looking over to my side, I noticed something peculiar. One of those Beetle things from earlier was walking by one of the shorter guys. He proceeds to squish it flat against the sand before shoveling it into his mouth. I felt a shiver go up my spine and disgust. "Well, at least they're not poisonous." Gags.

Looking around his immediate area, he notices something. The crystals form into the shape of that similar to a great door, thinking quickly, pulling out his phon clicking on the camera featur. And zooming into 10 times, he notices it.

It is a door! victory for vegeta or Jacob in this case i Miss Dragon Ball Z abridged. Well, no time like the present. Wait, how the hell am I going to get my shit over there without it getting wet damn it.

The electronics will be fine for the most part as long as I don't turn them off while they're wet. They should operate normally if dried off .my clothes will be a pain tho.

But given the aired temperature, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, but the weight might become a problem. And I don't see any shallow Banks leaning up to it. okay, let's think this one through. I could empty out my water bottle, filling it with air and then sealing it shut. That should add buoyancy, which should counteract at least a little weight. and then refill it at the door. The main problem is my journal.

After thinking it through for a good 10 minutes, he got an idea walking over to the tree line. and taking a few sticks, he throws them into the water to see what type of wood he is working with and if it will float or not. He's in luck it does. "Hmmm, I could work with this." Arranging the sticks into a Shape where they'll stick above the water and doing that again.

with three other sets to make sure his journal does not get wet he takes off his shirt and wraps it around the bundle. making sure it sticks together, setting it gently on the water to see if it will float. Or not stay together. To his luck, it does. This also means he can just put his backpack on there and the Crocs. Looking down at himself, he lets out a sigh. Well, not exactly fat, he's not skinny, either he has a healthy Pudge, he'd say a beer gut.

Making his treck across the water, he notices a large shadow following him. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuck I forgot to think about water Predators. okay okay okay okay just don't panic you'll be fine panicking indicates you're afraid and Afraid means food. Ok, if this is a shark or um, oh, a shit God damn it why did i not go to zoology.

Just as the large shadow was approaching him at a rapid pace. Once it got into the distance to tell what the creature swimming was, it promptly turned around and swam for its life. Oh, good the things in massive pussy that or wasn't carnivorous now that i think about a creature that large being carnivorous.

And in this small body of water doesn't make much sense it could just be an abnormally large manatee. Or maybe some other new species. I wonder what type of characteristics force it to grow that size, though? maybe mating fights, but that's the case. Why didn't it get aggressive unless it's not as mating season and it was just curious? Questions for later.

Upon reaching the massive door, he knows the shallow sand pit, allowing him to walk up to the staircase, pulling his makeshift raft along with him. and promptly laying flat on his back onto the sand, letting out a sigh of relief despite that not being a predator.

There are so many things that could have gone wrong in that instance he could have lost all his supplies. It could have been aggressive.There could have been something else parasites bacteria, and lord knows what else lives down in the water. Now that I think about it this was a fucking stupid idea.

oh well, all is well and ends well. After waiting for his clothes to dry off enough to wear and putting them on, he walks up to the great door and pushing it open. surprisingly light for something that looked like it would weigh so much more, and what he saw was an expansive hallway stepping through the hallway he immediately felt better for some reason.

He started to jog down the hallway , and he noticed that he wasn't running out breath as quickly as he would normally. attributing it to the room just simply having more oxygen for some reason, allowing for cellular respiration to happen more, therefore slowing fatigue. He paid it no mind upon reaching the end of the hallway he noticed something a plaque above it reading 199 whatever the hell that meant taking in a deep breath and pushing open the door he saw a cave? lined with purple crystals.

\[Next\]

hey writer here I'm new to this so I have no idea how to link it next chapter which when it comes out I will also say sorry if the writing is bad I'm trying to write it from the perspective of what would you do if you were in this situation if you have any writing tips or World building you think would make a good fit to it feel free to private message me or comment it I'll see if I can include it.

[12romy]

Thanks so much and so happy that you guys doing lewis/miles fics 🤩

Came up with the prompts “night” & ”light” ~

Thank you for the prompt❤️❤️

This is absolutely self-indulging and kinda cliché, but I hope you'll like it!

Enjoy~

'Blinding Lights' is playing in the background, Lewis bobbing his head in rhythm and humming along.

He's scrolling distractingly on his phone, and doesn't see Miles' eyes fixed on him.

It's a quiet afternoon. A small gathering with a few friends in a nice villa with a swimming pool, some good food, good alcohol, and good weed.

Miles can tell Lewis is high. He's lacking his usual energy, and is happy to lay around lazily when there's a swimming pool two feet away from him. Miles didn't smoke - he tries not to, when Lewis is around, because it only makes him want to kiss him.

The urge would be even worse than usual, since Lewis is currently only wearing swimshorts, droplets of water drying on his abs and his tattoos. That might be why Miles can't stop staring, he has to admit.

Spinz shows up suddenly, sitting next to him, smirking.

"Still haven't made a move?" he asks, and Miles want to punch that smile off his face.

"Obviously not," he whispers back furiously, his cheeks heating.

"You're not being very subtle, is all, bruv," Spinz shrugs. "He's head over heels for you, by the way, you should go for it."

"Please, we both know that's not true," he snorts. "It's Lewis we're talking about. He's not into guys. Besides, I'm happy just being his friend."

"Whatever you say, man."

"What are you guys plotting about?" Lewis asks suddenly, having lifted his head from his phone. His eyes are half-closed and he looks sleepy.

"Nothing much, don't worry," Miles dismisses quickly. "Hey, how about we go get some food inside? I'm hungry."

It's the right thing to say, he can always count on Lewis' cravings when he's high.

Lewis shots up from his seat, and rushes inside, barely waiting for Miles.

Before leaving, Miles makes sure to glare at Spinz threateningly.

*****

Night has fallen already.

Lewis can't move. It's not that he can't, exactly, but rather that he doesn't want to. He'd risk to wake Miles up, and he's pretty content to sit here and enjoy the contact.

They've ended up putting a movie, after dinner, and Miles started to dose off. He ended up slumped against Lewis, somehow, then he laid down properly and rested his head on Lewis' lap.

His hair is short so Lewis can't exactly tangle his hand in it, but he still pets it. The feeling of the short hair against his hand is nice.

"So, when are you going to tell him?" Spinz asks him, and he immediately scowls at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says with detachment.

"Yeah, of course," his friends mocks. "So we'll pretend you weren't making poetry about how hot he was and how you loved him last time we drank together."

"I was drunk," Lewis protests.

"You were drinking your damn tequilla, we both know there's not a drop of alcohol inside."

Feeling called out, Lewis doesn't bother to answer. He can feel Miles stir, however, and is terrified that he's heard.

Miles slowly sits up, and he looks way too awake for someone who were supposed to be napping.

"That's my cue to leave," Spinz declares, and promptly walks out before Lewis can kill him as he intended to.

There's a long, awkward silence, and Lewis tries to muster the courage to say something.

"So uh-" Miles starts, hesitant. "I wasn't really sleeping."

"Yeah, I figured," Lewis says. He wants to crawl under the surface of earth and never come out.

"Actually I was pretending to sleep the whole time," Miles continues. "Because I like having my head on your lap. And your hand in my hair. Because I'm craving any physical touch I can have with you."

"Wh-what are you saying?" Lewis stutters, trying to process the meaning of the words, and already blushing like a fool.

"It's not just physical," Miles continues. "I just want to be with you, all the time. Do everything with you, talk to you, or just hang out and do nothing. I think about you a lot, also, and I miss you horribly when you're not around."

"I- feel the same," Lewis blurts out before he can help it.

"You're my best friend, man," he says finally, and Lewis feels his heart sink. Did he missread the whole situation? "But you're so much more than that."

Lewis can breathe again after Miles' confession.

They drifted closer while he was talking, and their mouth are only a few inches apart, now. Lewis is the one to close the gap between them. When they pull apart from what was the best kiss of his life, he's also the one to say "I love you".

Miles doesn't lose a second to return the feeling.

[maya-matlin]

Hi!! I saw you've been reblogging OTH and remembered that I have so many UOs about that show! I was hoping to confess them to you and would obviously love to hear yours as well if you're comfortable sharing! A few: I hate Leyton, don't think they have any chemistry and they bring out the worst, most unhappy sides of each other - i like ships who have similarities but these two are alike in the worst ways that just bring out each other's flaws. And the attempt to show Leyton being more playful and carefree once they were together just felt so forced and unnatural that it was cringey. I LOVED Jeyton and think that ship brings out by far the happiest and best Peyton and love how Peyton makes carefree goofy Jake deeper - they're perfect for each other. I love Brucas despite not liking the love triangle or really Lucas in general with anyone other than Brooke. Despite season 2 being Naley's worst season, I really love it -mostly because of Brooke's growth, Jeyton, Brucas developing such a deep friendship etc. And finally even though I really wanted to love Brulian I just don't - something about the writing and acting for Julian doesn't work for me AT ALL, he came off like such a sleazy, slick jerk initially and then they tried too hard to make him endearingly dorky and neither persona felt authentic, and he and Brooke just felt so forced to me. We all want to see Brooke get the happily ever after she deserved but it just feels so unearned and unnatural to me and I swear I'm not saying that just because I love Brucas's dynamic! Also regarding Clay and Quinn---the Clay forgetting he had a son thing was insane even for this show and just has me genuinely worried for his stability going forward and Quinn kind of came off like a vapid moron to me not gonna lie lol. Okay, thank you SOOOOO much for letting me vent these to you - it was the OTH-themed therapy I couldn't afford! And despite all this I still love the show and may even start a blog about it lol. You're the best :)

LOL thank you for feeling comfortable sharing all of that with me!

First of all, I pretty much agree about Leyton. They're one of my least favorite ships of all time for a reason. I could understand the appeal back in season 1 and even think they had a smidgen of chemistry back then. But later, absolutely not. The narrative deviated too far away from the idea that Lucas and Peyton were supposed to end up together. Lucas had a big crush on Peyton and was very into the idea of her. But after deciding he wanted to become a better guy and getting to know both girls as a friend, he realized he was in love with Brooke. It's never made ANY sense to me in universe that Lucas would decide to go for the much more difficult option of winning back Brooke over trying again with Peyton if his heart wasn't 100% with Brooke. So by the time the story started to change in season 4, it felt abrupt and unbelievable for Lucas to be "in denial" about his true feelings. Even worse, they played out the exact same story beats in season 5 when the triangle was between Peyton and Lindsey. So, does breaking up with Peyton result in Lucas becoming so distraught that his feelings for her go in the proverbial vault where he genuinely believes they're not there anymore, only for them to come out at just the right, convenient moment? Or does Lucas use Peyton as his easy, backup plan and only passively return to "true love always" when he has no other option and feels she's waited long enough? Anyways, I completely agree about Lucas and Peyton bringing out each other's worst qualities. I strongly feel that they become the worst, most selfish versions of themselves when they're together. They are incapable of getting their shit together without emotionally devastating other people in the process. And by late season 3, Peyton is such a lesser version of who she used to be in service of her being the ideal person for Lucas. Like, the idea that Brooke is becoming more independent and maybe not relying as much on Lucas's physical presence is supposed to signal alarm bells ringing that she doesn't love him enough? But Peyton's love is true because the writers constantly stick her into situations where the prince has to save the damsel in distress? It really does Peyton a disservice. It's okay to desire love and to want someone who will care for you and have your back when you need them, but Peyton's life always takes such a depressing turn right around the time she decides she wants Lucas. Ex: attempted rape, Ellie's death, school shooting, not being successful in LA. The problem with LP is that they were such an angsty couple to begin with. That's where they thrived. Whenever their relationship became more happy and cheesy, the chemistry was completely off. Whatever the opposite of natural chemistry is, that's what they had.

I don't have much to add about Brucas and Jeyton, but I feel the same way. I feel like their love stories were well written during seasons 2 and 3 and even parts of season 1. The chemistry between both was undeniable, and Brooke and Jake brought out much more likable, more selfless sides of Lucas and Peyton.

YES. I'm a big fan of season 2. While not every aspect of it was the best, the highs outweighed the lows for me. Almost all of the episodes are watchable and have great moments in them that don't detract from them. In my opinion, season 4, in contrast, is actively more bad than good up until 409, and overall has a much different tone from the first three seasons. Both Brooke and Peyton suffer from awful writing, and Haley is pushed into the background during her own pregnancy to focus almost exclusively on Nathan.

I get what you mean. I haven't gotten to the Julian years on my current rewatch, but they never grabbed me the way Brucas did. The chemistry was just.. lesser. It's no one's fault. You can't predict which actors are going to pop on screen. It makes sense that Brooke's chemistry and relationship with Julian would feel more comfortable and sweet rather than passionate and intense. But at the same time, I don't root for them as much as I'd like to for those exact reasons. I feel like when Brucas was at their best, none of Brooke's other relationships could come close. Julian's writing was odd. He's actively a different character in season 6 compared to seasons 8 and 9. I really wish he hadn't been introduced as Peyton's former love interest. That wasn't needed.

As for Clay and Quinn, I'm mostly neutral on Quinn as a character and their relationship. But I agree that Clay forgetting he had a child was A LOT. They could have easily adopted a child together, but instead they decided Clay needed a long lost child with his dead wife. The only reason they halfway got away with that is because Logan was by far the cutest kid alive.

You should definitely start an OTH blog! I'd follow you. <3

Unpopular opinions:

I could never hate or resent Haley for the tour. I think the writing surrounding all of that was incredibly sexist and kind of manipulative so that it would be in Nathan's favor rather than Haley's. We spent so much time on his perspective and his depression over the whole thing, but pretty much no screen time was devoted to Haley's time on the tour or what her conflicting feelings were re: Nathan and her marriage until she came home at the end of the season. There were different ideas offered up in regards to Haley/Chris. One was that she was simply envious of his freedom to pursue his dreams. Another is that Haley had genuine romantic feelings for Chris and was lying to herself for obvious reasons. I don't feel like any of that was given any closure.

I actively ignore the Brooke/Nathan sex tape. It was painfully clear the retcon was only added in to let Peyton (and Lucas) off the hook for betraying Brooke a second time and to conveniently "even the score" while making it appear Brooke had been a hypocrite all along.

Peyton confessing to Brooke that she still had feelings for Lucas wasn't noble, and her behavior after Brooke became hurt and angry to the point of asking Brooke whether or not she loved Lucas makes it clear that at least subconsciously, Peyton wasn't saying what she said solely to be honest and clear the air.

I shipped Haley and Chris a little bit. I'm so happy they never got together because it would have ruined everything, but there were vibes there.

I liked Alex better than Mia.

I love Rachel and think the writers did her SO dirty.

Deb was cringy after season 1. She still had good moments and I know that professionally, Barbara preferred her work as later Deb, but I always preferred the Deb that somewhat had her shit together. Later on, it felt like she was turned into too much of an anti Karen.

Anna was a good character. She was just awkwardly paired with Lucas and attached to Felix - who was the WORST.

So I guess my unpopular opinions are that I love most of the female characters? Even Peyton, even though it probably didn't come across that way LOL

[thedorkdionysia]

alright. I gotta rant about something.

so I'm sure you all probably know by now that David Tennant has made a return as the Doctor in Doctor Who after like 12 years since the end of his run and almost 10 years since the last time he was in the show at all. even if you don't watch the show, you probably know by now on account of how many people are losing their minds over it.

and apparently people are somehow thinking it's racist that this is happening. because Ncuti Gatwa, a black actor, was announced as the casting choice for the next major incarnation of the Doctor a few months before the centenary special Power of the Doctor aired, only for Tennant to show up at the end of POTD after 13 regenerated, leaving many people wondering where the new Doctor was, before we were only treated to a short teaser of the upcoming special that included the briefest glimpse of Ncuti at the end... aaaand then the announcement that the show would be on hiatus again for another 13 months until the 60th anniversary special in November 2023.

now, I understand that it's definitely a bad look for them to sort of bait and switch people like that, I was watching with friends and we were all expecting to see Ncuti after the special and then we were all losing it when we saw David instead. but there are people who are claiming that not just RTD, but also David Tennant himself, are doing this out of intentional, malicious racism against Ncuti and are basically just making things even worse than they were in the chibnall era (somehow).

but that honestly just... makes no fucking sense. literally what would be the reason for RTD and the BBC to cast a black man as the doctor, make a big deal out of it on social media, and then not put him in the show at all just because he's being maliciously racist? I think it would have pretty much the same effect for RTD to cast another white man to play the newest incarnation of the doctor, intentionally turning Ncuti down in the process, and then just rolling with him instead.

so even though I get why it could definitely be taken kind of racist, I don't think that it was intentionally done that way. but then you might be wondering, "well if it wasn't malicious, then why cast DT and announce HIM as the 14th doctor when it should have been Ncuti??" well, it's more complicated than any of how the people angrily ranting about it are explaining it, but I think this video explains it well:

basically the way this video explains it is this: RTD came back to the show at kind of a weird time. the last episode they had written, filmed, and planned to air was POTD, which wrapped production not long after RTD was announced to take the reins again in October 2021. also, coming up on the horizon not long after POTD was supposed to air was the 60th anniversary, which would obviously be a big deal for the show-- as the longest running sci-fi TV series in the world, every major anniversary is a huge milestone.

the only problem is that this kinda left RTD with a logistical nightmare. he didn't have a new doctor yet, and even if he were able to get one the day after taking over the show, there just wasn't enough time to write, film, edit, and air a whole season of the show before the 60th. and RTD wouldn't really want to introduce the new doctor during the anniversary either: the anniversary has brought back older doctors since the show's 10th anniversary, and no matter who he cast, they would most likely get overshadowed by the nostalgic figureheads alongside them even if their performance was absolutely top notch.

and there was also another problem: when RTD DID finally cast Ncuti as the new doctor, he was busy filming the new season of sex education as well as the Barbie movie with Margot Robbie. which left him with another conundrum: should he wait for the actor who really, REALLY won him over in his audition to be available for the show, or should he tell him that he did amazing but they need someone more readily available?

ultimately, RTD chose the former, and I think it was the right decision. but that still left a gap in the anniversary special that RTD had to fill before Ncuti would be able to commit to the show full time. so, in the interest of the nostalgia that comes with anniversary specials and the part of the doctor still needing someone to bridge the gap between Jodie and Ncuti, he turned to a fan favorite: David Tennant. and that's pretty much where we are today. Tennant isn't REPLACING Ncuti, and he's really not replacing Jodie either. he's a placeholder, a way to get things from point A to point B.

and people are saying that DT is overshadowing Ncuti just by... existing and being part of the show again, but the thing is, they are actively trying to give Ncuti the spotlight. RTD and the show's official social media accounts both announced Ncuti's casting a week BEFORE even mentioning the fact that David Tennant and Catherine Tate would be coming back for the 60th. RTD has made numerous posts about Ncuti and how absolutely thrilled they both are for this new upcoming era, and he's barely even mentioned DT since his original announcement. (not because of some kind of estrangement between the two, if that wasn't obvious: he's just acknowledging that this isn't David's era that we're about to see.) even David Tennant himself has spoken in interviews about how legitimately AMAZING Ncuti is as the doctor and now excited he is for him as well. at this point the only ones who are actually focusing more on David and less on Ncuti ARE THE ONES COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW RTD AND DAVID ARE TRYING TO OVERSHADOW NCUTI. (and also all the media outlets trying to bank on David's return to make money selling stories, which is a whole new post.)

by trying to make such a big moral dilemma out of David Tennant being back for no more than three episodes a year from now, people on the internet are basically becoming the exact type of person they're trying to be mad at: they're focusing more on the guy who's coming back temporarily to help things transition forward, and less on the fact that things are going to have such a bright future ahead with the new guy, we just have to actually get there first.

and like I said: I don't know if it was the best choice either, and from what I've seen, POTD was originally supposed to end by cutting off before we actually saw the end result of 13's regeneration, which I would have been okay with, but the point is that RTD was in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation and ultimately tried to do his best to give Ncuti the chance to shine without getting overpowered by the major event of the 60th anniversary in his first ever appearance on the show, and I think he's doing his best with that. and as far as the numbering issue, I'm not thrilled about tenthree/tenteen/retro-ten or whatever you want to call him being referred to as the "fourteenth doctor" either, but since the numbering system was pretty much meaningless after Moffat's whole "well actually eleven is actually thirteen because something something war doctor something something tentoo something something vanity" thing, and is now even more meaningless thanks to chibnall and the timeless child, I honestly wouldn't split too many hairs over it. most of the official announcements from the show's social media didn't even give Ncuti a number to begin with anyway, and the only primary source I found that actually called him "the fourteenth doctor" right after the announcement was a BBC news article that wasn't even written by someone affiliated with the show anyway, so the whole thing is probably a misunderstanding that's spiralled out of control anyway. either way, it's just a number, it's not like the doctor even refers to themselves by their number in the show anyway.

TL;DR: David Tennant is only playing the Doctor again temporarily to help transition the show into Ncuti's run to help relieve him from the onus of trying to carry the 60th anniversary as the main Doctor in his first appearance as the Doctor, and we should all be focusing less on him and more on what we have to look forward to from Ncuti.

[theimaginatrix27]

I woke up from a dream that referenced a book I listened to in audio form eighteen years ago and Google keeps failing me when I try to find it

I hope the author didn't turn out to be a bad person. The last time I brought up an author I'd been reading for years and enjoying the works of since 2010-ish, I found out something really dark about their history, and it wasn't the first time that had happened either. It seems about half the authors of speculative fiction are fucked-up in some way.

But this book was like, a middle-grade Sci-fi novel that I suppose was a coming-of-age/finding-your-own-identity/being-comfortable-in-your-own-skin sort of story, and I don't remember all the details.

But basically it's about a kid who finds out he's second generation alien. His parents and a bunch of others crashlanded in this town in the US (it's always the US that the cool shit happens to) and some of the aliens died in the accident, and some of the townspeople died in this accident. But the aliens had this technology/bioscience stuff that meant they could take DNA from humans and use it to disguise themselves as humans. (In hindsight this sounds weird and possibly questionable but also I didn't know the possible connotations back then and I'm not done.) The alien parents also used this science on their kids when they had them, so they'd not be found out or whatever, but some plot reason I can't remember means they have to alter the injections so the kids slowly turn back into their true alien forms. This means they can no longer go to school and stuff, and there's this normal non-alien girl the MC is interested in, but now he's finding out he's not human and this is upsetting obviously. The parents are good, they just feel super guilty for killing so many people/losing their shipmates and stuff. I don't remember all the details.

What I do remember is that the MC finds out his friend who he thought was dead actually isn't, and was the first kid who had to be reverse-disguised, so he gets to see what he'll look like when the process is over, and these aliens are gorgeous okay. They're described as having skin the colour of peach marble and being taller/more muscular than humans and having hair that grows from their shoulders as well as their heads and that shimmers like it's made of diamond. And they have blue or green eyes. God, the more I write the more worried I get that there's a creepy backstory about this book.

But long story short, kid nearly runs into the elderly parent of his genetic donor, freaks out, injects himself with the dna one of his friends uses, and his body freaks out and he almost dies. He wakes up to find that he's had to resume alien form completely rather than gradually, and also his girlfriend who he was keeping this secret from now knows the truth (something something she had to bring him to someone who could help or something, again, details, can't remember).

And at the end of the book there's this whole thing where the aliens send a diplomatic rep to the White House, and it's MC kid, and he's untangled his identity crisis, and the last words in the book stayed with me forever.

"I know exactly who I am. My name is Jason Jonathan Miller, and I am human."

And I can't find this book on Google and I don't know where else to turn. And I'm scared this has like racist routes or some shit but it was a lovely story to me at the time with a simple poignant message and I want to at least find it.

Vision Australia doesn't have records of the books I got way back when, and this was when I was getting stuff from them on tape, so ...

[slimeywooper]

Labmas AU - Unintended Consequences

Chapter 7 - Work: Notes

It's best to read the story first before reading these as there's definitely going to be spoilers.

Some other notes first:

This was originally going to be a short chapter, but ended up much longer. I don't plan on subsequent chapters being this long. Sorry to anyone who likes the longer format. It took a lot more time than anticipated to set up. On another note, I'm trying to fill out the notes at the bottom to give better context to the interactions between the characters or my thought process behind certain scenes. I like to do this because when I was in college I took an introduction to literature course. We read a book and got to ask the author questions afterwards which gave me a better understanding and appreciation for the story. I sometimes have trouble comprehending different aspects or motivations of characters on the surface, so it really helped me out. I hope if I don't describe things adequately in the story, or if they're not that important to mention, I can give them context in the notes.

Now to the notes for the chapter:

This chapter has the first mention of the Subway Bosses. We don't know yet why Colress doesn't like them. The reason he used their DNA was purely out of spite. Though I don't have an exact scene in my head, I imagine Colress had been trying to modify Pokemon in some way, and in one of his terrible moods, decided to maliciously splice Ingo and Emmet's DNA with that of their Pokemon's species. Probably after many failures to produce any kind of valid results. Obviously he wasn't expecting something meant as an inside joke to succeed. He only makes up that excuse for Reader because he doesn't want to admit he created the hybrids from a childish, passive-aggressive whim.

Colress uses the terms "Pokemon" and "specimen" interchangeably, as that's how he views them. We see an incredibly selfish side of him when he tells Reader not to go near Kudari's door because it would be "one more thing (he has) to deal with." Not bothering to take into account Kudari becoming upset. Reader is thoroughly spooked by all the things Colress has said about Kudari. For the hybrid's rooms, Kudari is more likely to be restless, so to prevent having to hear him complain, Colress would preemptively expand his room when he thought Kudari might become bothersome. Nobori being the selfless person he is, never made any demands of Colress. So he never got anything more than the small room he's had since adolescence.

When Reader runs into Frank, he doesn't dislike them, he just doesn't want to be bothered by anyone, for anything. He only offers to help them if he gets something in return. Similar to Kudari, Colress likes to get a rise out of people sometimes. Reader is the current target of his teasing because they have yet to prove their worth as an asset to Team Plasma. He does enjoy some light banter. Reader is starting to test the waters with their interactions with Colress in that regard. The autopsy room is set up similar to the observation rooms. It's a large room with a glass window in the center and a door leading to the other side where the table is located. There is a another door connected to this side which leads to a freezer where the bodies of the specimens are kept.

As mentioned in the top notes, this chapter was supposed to be short, but it kept getting drawn out. I had initially planned it to be a transitional chapter. Then I was going to cut it in half to make two chapters, but I wanted to end it on a cliff hanger of sorts. So I kept it all in one chapter.

[lava-bros]

How are you guys?

Probably not the answer you're expecting but I feel like there's probably some form of closure I should give this blog. I definitely went very ambitious with the development I wanted to do with these characters, at the time obviously I had the energy and desire to make the stories so I'm not faulting myself for doing it. It was fun at the time and that's what these blogs are about!

So here's some fun story bits that were in the works before I moved on to other creative things. If you DO end up reading this, be prepared it's pretty lengthy. There's some old thumbnails of updates that I never got to finish, along with a few designs of story elements.

As well as a few trigger warnings, there's some talk about death, loss, substance abuse(in a magical sense), a lot of fire, emotional trauma. I think that covers it, so if you're fine with that continue on!

Sol was made to be this sort of slimy two faced asshole that used people for his thirst for knowledge without care of what happened to the people he left behind in the process. He pushes the limits of his relationships until they either break or start to bend to him whim. There was a long time he wasn't a good person, and his friends suffered for it.

BEFORE THAT THOUGH, we're going to time skip backwards a bit before he was introduced to the blogs. Sol used to be a slimy single faced asshole that actually had friends. He was on top of the world, gave no shits about who knew him, who liked him, who hated him. He'd escaped from the lab he was created from and he wanted to experience life to the fullest because this man honest to god believed NOTHING could hurt him. He ended up forming a crew, they got up to some hijinks, they had a great time doing it, and they were a big family. This was supposed to be explored with the "Remember your sins" meme, but lost the drive pretty quick after starting. I did some digging around and I found some of the old thumbnails

Essentially it filled in some of the missing pieces of Sol getting backstabbed by one of his crew members and learning that he's not as invincible as he thought. This was also where the explanation of the White and Black Cores come in. Black cores I was able to finish with the explaination, white cores I unfortunately never got around to. I'm sure there's some roughs floating around or at least on paper. But basically white cores plays in the opposite of the black cores. Black cores are too much magic, so white is not enough. So Sol witnessed having his core broken into and he lost an huge amount of his magic which threatened his existence. His body went into panic mode, and he went absolutely nuts and killed his family(or so he thought). He set the whole place on fire, and definitely Skip died because when he finally came too he just sort of stuck around her corpse and spired into a depression. He went through some stuff it wasn't a good year(or decade I can't remember) for him.

Skip ahead to his next phase, rebuild. So after all that shit, he picked himself back up, made a new identity, tried to rebuild his empire. Got mixed up with some not so good relationships(the not so good being on his end), finding himself unable to trust again because of obvious previous shit. He still didn't know who it was that betrayed him, and so he gave up that shit to be a new brand of asshole. The kind that DOESN'T actually want to make friends anymore.

That's where we jump to Sol adopting kids and it's the worst idea. This plot point I honestly kinda wished I did so differently. It was such a missed opportunity for Boom and Pom to have a parental figure, regardless if he was so bad at being on. Whenever I make AUs with these three now, their dynamic is so different, Piper(Pom) adores Sol regardless if he sucks at taking care of any sort of organic creature. That's all I really have to say about that. Boom sees him more like a boss and Pom hates him but slowly builds into being okay with him later on in the blogs.

So now I'll get into the present/future stuff. A big part of what the blog was going towards was this project called "the interviews" and man I wish I had all the thumbs for it, but I think a lot of it was on paper. Here's just some of the beginning ones:

Shout out to Simon's very obvious in check emotions.

Anyways, so this was going to be a series of updates in regards to looking for new hires. Along the way it would cut back and forth between Bob and Sol, Bob who's trying to move forward while Sol who's still held back by the past and can't move on. The above section was basically going to be what Bob was going through.

Meanwhile with Sol, he would meet Skip who's been haunting the warehouse as a Boo, unable to move on because of her ties of anger and regret for what Sol had done. She'd go on talking about how she'd been there since she died, hating Sol quietly and learning her new powers to find a way to get revenge. But as she watched him grovel for nearly a decade over her body, she decided that he'd done a better job torturing himself over and over enough times that she didn't need to do anything. But she reconciles with him, telling her friend that it's time for him to move on. Sol argues that he's unable to, how could he after what he's done, and wishing it hadn't happen. He goes on mentioning that he couldn't control himself, he wouldn't have done that even if she betrayed him by breaking his core. That's when Skip reveals that it wasn't her, it was Po, the snowpokey of their team.

Learning this, Sol is furious, but keeps his cool for the time being. Him and Skip have a bit of a bonding moment, reminiscing about the past, then Sol offers Skip one of the jobs. She reluctantly agrees, since she's stuck there anyways, and she becomes the new security. Sol brings her to Bob, and he has an emotional moment with her too, seeing that one of his friends did in fact pass away at the incident.

That was as much as I had solid plans for, at least with Sol's arc. Rough ideas was Sol going to confront Po on his own, and turns out Po's resented him for years. They fight and as Po looks about to win Bob comes in and shows off his own frustrations that he'd been keeping. He loses it and beats Po to an inch of his life sort of deal, Sol stops him, and he offers Po an opportunity to change, which he declines. Maybe later on he changes his mind, unsure. Didn't get that far into it. But yeah that was pretty much Sol's whole arc. Pretty long. A lot of bummer city stuff, but becomes pretty chill at the end.

NOW SIMON. Honestly his was a lot tamer in the sense of just his own self discovery. His arc is essentially feeling abandoned by Sol when he escaped whatever vague lab they were from. He's always felt Sol could connect with people a lot easier than he could. Sol was full of a lot of sympathy where as Simon was empathy. He couldn't exactly relate to a lot of what people felt. Unlike Sol, that you could argue was created with a lot of emotion, Simon was made with very little. It made him desperate to feel what others did, and from that it made him feel empty. So to fill that void, he filled it with the only thing he knew he could. Magic. Thus it lead to him consuming magic constantly, and furiously.

Simon developed these 'black core' symptoms very early on, where he has a constant hunger to consume magic and it's completely messed up his way of thinking because of it. Though his ultimate goal had always been to basically combine with Sol, because in his eyes, Sol is everything he wants to be. So ultimately at one point, he does. It's right during the big arc where Boom loses his arm in the fight. They lose and Simon and Sol combine to make this guy.

It was during the time I unfortunately pretty burnt out on trying to produce all this content on my spare time. So doing huge updates and big arcs were getting harder and harder to do. I missed just having a funny blog to draw silly answers for, so I skipped over all this, and instead just planned on it all being talked about in past tense. That's when Bob and Scotty suddenly came in.

As for the rest of Simon's arc, part of it was shown on the blog. Scotty helped separate the two after combining, and turns out everything he thought would fix him came crashing down. It didn't work, he didn't feel how he wanted to, and he hit a low point in just having no idea what to do anymore. His thoughts consumed by this hunger that can't be satisfied, and he can't grasp the concept of love or what it is to love.

He slowly comes back to with Scotty's help, showing him compassion and forgiveness for his actions. Teaching him that there is nothing wrong with not understanding. There is nothing wrong with not having those feelings. It takes time and experience to understand and find yourself. So she helps him rebuild, helping him do the things he enjoys that doesn't, you know, hurt others with an ending violent hunger for power. He officially gets his weird uncle status badge. Hooray!

Now a character I didn't get much opportunity to explore, Scotty. She doesn't exactly have "end game" planned, because she's definitely more of a supporting cast for these two. So she was created in the same facility, you know the vague unnamed one, after Sol left. She was given a little less magic so she didn't, you know, go nuts like Simon, and perhaps a little less emotional than Sol. She was supposed to be the in between but basically the "better" version of them. And then Simon lost it and destroyed the vague unnamed facility and broke her core. That's what the grabby hands represented in this post

But with still a little magic left, she wasn't gone. There was a vague concept of either Bob or Sol returning to the facility and finding her core. Probably Bob if I think about it now, to look for some answers about what Sol is and how to get him to be less... uh... fire. And sort of repairs Scotty while he's there and just sort of leaves her to figure out her thing. Then upon Simon and Sol combining, Scotty arrives, using her ability to separate them through means. I honestly cannot remember how.

But that's it! Those are the arcs that I had planned for this blog that I never got to, and honestly never will get to. I do still love these characters deeply, I use them all the time in AUs I will sometimes post on my main art blog. They're my self indulgent characters, and I love them dearly.

They've grown a lot since this blog began, or heck, even before this blog began. Sol was made to be a throw away character, made just to be Boom's really terrible abusive boss in his early years. Christ look at this absolute piece of shit. My whole design concept was literally "sleazey car salesman"

And Simon was literally a joke. I misspelled Splorch once, and he was created from it. He was meant to be the opposite of Sol in every way, and he honestly still is.

What a lovely walk down memory lane. Thanks for sticking around for those that got this far. I honestly enjoyed the time I had with these blogs, they were truly a lot of fun. I met some great people from them, and it's lead to some really great friendships. Aside from that shit though, gave me these characters, and they're going to stick with me for a long time.

Thanks for all the support that this obscure blog received over the years. This one hit so much different than BoomPom did. I felt like this one was more of my own, and less tied to the popularity of other much bigger blogs. It honestly shocks me that people sent asks here, and people took interest in these characters. Means a lot to me if you did and for all the asks this blog received in it's life span.

I hope you have a pleasant day, you deserve it.

[wordsandrobots]

You mentioned a while ago a Gundam Eligos. I’d love to hear about your… process I suppose (how did you go about thinking it up, what influenced you decision to make it the Eligos, to arm it as you did etc.).

I mention it because I suddenly remembered a little while ago the existence of these two fake Ibo Gundam’s (I think that became popular around the second season) and I got curious on what your perspective would be on them, if any.

I apologise if you already mention this in one of your fanfics. I’m afraid Iron Blooded Orphans just isn’t really the sort of series I seek out fan fiction of (though if that ever changes, your stuff’ll be top of the list).

Oh, yeah, I quite like that fan-art (original links are these, I believe https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/60410296, https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/58286615?), though I feel the aesthetic skews away from IBO's baseline. Halphas in particular doesn't look right to me and I think that's because it's aping UC or 00 style 'suits too closely.

Anyway - no need to apologise; I get having things you don't seek fan fic out for, I'm the same. I'll note for the record that what I'm going to say contains spoilers but with one (highlighted) exception, they're broadly unimportant.

In total, I made up two Gundams, four pseudo-Gundams, and one adjacent 'new' mobile suit for Wishing on Space Hardware. If you'll indulge me, I'll go through the logic behind each of them in order of appearance.

The first Gundam is little more than a placeholder. I literally needed something to fit between Barbatos and Gusion in a line-up of frames for two characters to walk past. Due to misreading a wiki page, I originally labelled this Seere, which obviously is a Gundam that already exists, at the other end of the number sequence. But then I found this list which is easier to follow and renamed it Paimon (ASW-G-09). I described it as a scout model, slender and winged, which doesn't quite fit with the description of Paimon the demon. However, since that demon's rank is King, like Bael, describing it as similar sort of works. Clearly, my thought process on this one wasn't especially deep! The background I gave Paimon was that it had been in a private collector's war museum in a non-operational state. Some rich guy bought it from salvagers and put it on display. This seemed like a reasonable fate for a Gundam frame to have suffered and I used it later to bulk-out a list of extant frames.

The psuedo-Gundams are all copies of Flauros. Very easy! The idea behind them is that following The Incident, Gjallarhorn authorised an attempt to reproduce the Gundam frame with a view to better controlling the technology. A recovered Flauros was used as the template owing to the transformation mechanism, the Dainsleifs, and the fact that Shino very nearly killed Rustal Elion with it, which created a lot of shock-waves (it's a thread in my fics that this has as many long-term consequences as Barbatos' final rampage, while everyone kind of forgets about Gusion).

I hand-waved the difficulty of building new Gundam frames on the notion that 1) nobody ever tried before, 2) the problem of running two reactors in parallel gets solved over the course of the fics, and 3) the resulting 'Flauri' are technically inferior anyway, being less powerful and less resilient compared to a real Gundam frame (a fact that, as of writing, is about to become extremely important). All this said, the chief reason for making them Flauros-copies is thematic: this is a story where Shino narrowly survives and is taken prisoner. It's a big part of his arc that Gjallarhon takes everything uniquely 'his' and twists it for their own ends.

The Flauri start out as unpainted copies of Flauros' short cannon form, using Gjallarhorn railguns. F-4 remains more or less in this configuration throughout; F-3 switches out its guns for a laser cannon and an electro-harpoon weapon designed to disable enemy 'suits; F-2 is given the full original Flauros weaponry; and F-1 is refitted for melee combat with a set chainsaw/claw weapons in place of the stabiliser feet on the arms. Then, as the story progresses, F-2 gets outfitted the same as F-1, which in turn...well, that actually is a spoiler I don't want to share just yet! Point is, Gundam Flauros has a nicely 'neutral' design compared to a lot of the IBO 'suits, so it was very easy to picture how different weaponry would be bolted on. (Also, while Flauros becomes the template for the completed 'suits, development of the frame was based on an impounded Dantalion, so the idea of switchable equipment is there from the start.)

The long and short of this segment: I started with the thematic idea and thought about how far I could stretch it, following the logic I'd established in the story.

The 'new' mobile suit is another output of the above project: a Reginlaze-like frame that incorporates Flauros' transformation gimmick. The Leopard (named for Flauros the demon's common form) is basically an IBO equivalent of a Guncannon and sort of a joke that swings around to being serious. They were rolled out quickly as a way to shore up Gjallarhorn's relationships with the Earth blocs and Mars when there was a risk that the above Gundam-replication might be publicly exposed. As such, they've got a massively sub-par performance compared to actual Reginlazes. However, this doesn't stop a couple being stolen by terrorists and used for long-range sniping operations, or Gjallarhorn deploying their own, higher-spec models as fusiliers. The high-brow justification for this is as an illustration of more consequences of Tekkadan's actions, but honestly? I just thought mashing Flauros' design elements into a Reginlaze would work nicely.

And finally - to address your actual question! - Gundam Eligos.

OK, so, context: Eligos is not actually called Eligos for the majority of the story. It goes under the pseudonym 'Skoll', as in 'Hati and Skoll', the wolves who chase the sun and moon in Norse mythology. Being a 'moon-chaser' is a loaded double-meaning given that its pilot is one of the Tekkadan survivors. Likewise, due to who it is fighting for (a different terrorist group, apparently headed by a new 'Montag'), its modern appearance is patterned on the Grimgerde: red armour, swept-back fins, shields on its arms. That is principally why it has the armaments it does: shorter versions of the rare-metal blades built into the shields (which themselves flip around to reveal guns are the other end, because seriously, how many of those rifles did Mackie throw away?). It's also fitted with a booster pack for the majority of its appearances: big, triangular wings loaded with additional reactors to allow it to move incredibly fast compared even to normal Gundams. This thing is built for hit-and-run, designed to cut through enemy lines as swiftly as possible, because for a long time it's functionally the only mobile weapon this group has at their disposal. While it is later joined by 'Hati' (a Schwalbe Graze variant), that 'suit serves a very different purpose.

[To whit: Hati is equipped with the combination of a Dainsleif launcher with a beam-weapon, intended to negate the resistance effects of nano-laminate. The javelins it fires are hollow and filled with reflectors, creating a path for the beam. As you might imagine, this is a precision weapon to a frankly ridiculous degree, so Hati is functionally static while in operation. Ergo, Skoll has to handle any mobile suits in play while Hati targets enemy ships.]

The reason I'm starting with all this is because it's what came first. I made Skoll up before I picked which Gundam frame it was built around. I wanted a Grimgerde/Gundam hybrid that ran with Tekkadan's 'one man commando unit' concept. I decided it had been recovered with very little of its original armour intact, so its original identity was irrelevant in terms of what it could actually do.

However, obviously I couldn't leave it there! So: which to use?

I wanted a relatively low number, because the backstory I settled on was that this Gundam had been involved in the battle that left Barbatos (ASW-G-08) abandoned on Mars. Strictly, there was no reason to focus on the low-end of the sequence since I roped Flauros (ASW-G-64) into the same scenario, but it was a way to narrow things down. Another thing I used was association with the colour red (because Skoll is very much the 'rival' machine for these fics).

This led me to the page on that same roleplaying wiki I linked above for Eligos. Which is absolutely not an academically rigorous source. I spent a good fifteen minutes just now tracing the source for describing this demon as wearing a red coat (apparently it's from 'The Red Book of Appin' though I don't have the energy this morning to confirm the exact quote). Fortunately, it doesn't really matter because Crowley's edition of the Ars Goetia is sufficient to explain my final reasoning:

ELIGOS — The Fifteenth Spirit in Order is Eligos, a Great Duke, and appeareth in the form of a goodly Knight, carrying a Lance, an Ensign, and a Serpent. He discovereth hidden things, and knoweth things to come; and of Wars, and how the Soldiers will or shall meet. He causeth the Love of Lords and Great Persons. He governeth 60 Legions of Spirits. His Seal is this, etc.

I'm not wedded to the idea that the demonic descriptions need to be a one-to-one match for the machines or the pilots, but there's some fitting stuff here. First, it's 'goodly' as in 'handsome', which is beautifully ironic for a variety of reasons. Second, the lance. As I fleshed out what had happened to this frame, I realised I needed to have it use a spear or lance, because while I'd decided the katana was Barbatos's original weapon, the circumstances I was inventing required it to wield a longer weapon at a dramatic juncture. Therefore, that needed to come from another Gundam. And third, there were the references to knowing the future and matters pertaining to wars.

(Due diligence note: slightly more major spoilers for the fic follow)

.

.

.

This is what solidified the pick. You see, something I omitted from my description of Gjallarhorn's Gundam replication project is that the frames are only part of it. They also wanted the means to reproduce the piloting abilities Tekkadan showed. This led to the creation of the 'Alaya-Vijnana Type Zero', an AI model fed on battle data from people (Shino) who used the A-V. This enables the creation of new Type E systems sans the necessity of wiring dead people's brains into a mobile suit. As a concept, this met with mixed success but it's relevant here because the group operating Skoll got their hands on a copy of the specs and incorporated it into their Gundam alongside a standard A-V. This ramps up the information processing capacities of the system so it can very precisely identify incoming threats and respond accordingly, allowing someone with only a single whisker to operate at the level of someone with two or three. It becomes a 'sixth sense' for the pilot, which fits Eligos' realm of knowledge perfectly.

(And to confirm the obvious: yes, it's a Gundam Wing reference.)

With this established, I back-filled what Gundam Eligos (ASW-G-15) had been like. In appearance, it takes cues from 00's Gundam Zabanya, having an articulated 'cloak' of shield panels used to deflect incoming attacks and let it muscle in close to its target. Its primary weapon was designed for skewering and it would probably have had beefed-up thrusters to enable this mode of combat. For its original incarnation, the connection to 'knowledge of wars' is that its pilot was strategist for Gjallarhorn's Mars contingent.

To summarise the finalised backstory: Barbatos, Eligos and Flauros were deployed to the Chryse Planitia to combat a squadron of Hashmals, but the mobile armours split up, forcing the Gundams to do the same. Flauros ended up using its Dainsleifs at very close range, burying itself along with the Hashmal that would later reactivate thanks to Iok. Barbatos and Eligos fought the remainder but were overwhelmed. In a last-ditch effort, Barbatos used Eligos' abandoned lance to puncture the Ahab reactors on one of the Hashmals. The resulting gravitational upset blew Barbatos into the middle of the desert and ripped the armours to bits. Eligos was caught in the blast and crushed by the wreckage, the frame left repairable but its equipment written off.

And to summarise the answer to your question: there you have it. A mix of ideas that I then matched to the entry in the Ars Goetia I felt fitted best with where I was going. I'm both a 'what would be cool' or a 'what serves the plot best' writer when it comes to creating stuff for fanfic/fanart, but I do like to work through a justification for whatever I invent, even if it doesn't get much focus.

Thanks for asking! I know I've rambled on a lot, but that's simply because it was fun to collate my reasoning in one place.

[Addendum: There is one additional 'new; 'suit I included (past obvious things like Shidens using the two-horned alternate mask from the options set and that one random Hloekk with forklifts for arms), which is the J-class Reginlaze, a high-mobility variant that's basically a normal Reginlaze with Julia-style wing-thrusters on its shoulders. This is mainly by 'rule of cool' logic: overall, I have been trying to resist throwing in new 'suits at every opportunity because I really enjoy IBO not doing that. But sometimes, the urge to be self-indulgent is hard to fight!]

[superfluouskeys]

omg i just realised you're in law school?? can i ask what prompted you to pursue a (i presume) 2nd degree? i am nearing 30 and considering going for a 2nd degree as well but i'm super reluctant haha, would you mind sharing something about your experience? are you doing like a master's, did you choose it to get a specific job you are aiming for?

Ah, I would be happy to talk about my questionable life choices lol! For law school in the US if you want to actually practice you get what's called a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, which is a professional degree, and you have to have completed a Bachelor's to pursue it. People who want to like, specialize in something will sometimes get an LLM (Master of Law), but generally do that after the JD, even though a JD is technically "higher" than a Master's. Absurdly long story of my Journey TM under the cut lol

I tell people law school was a response to the pandemic even though that's not really true bc I don't want to get into the years-long insane series of thought processes that led me here lol. I only have a Bachelor's degree (in German/Music) and never intended to pursue anything beyond that. I'm naturally intelligent and did very well in school without trying, but I never had any particular interest in pursuing a higher education and pretty much just did it because that's what you're supposed to do. Looking back I feel quite embarrassed that I didn't fully appreciate the value of my education, even though I obviously wasn't doing it on purpose LOL. I got a lot of value out of college in general but it's frankly amazing that I did fine in my classes given my general self at the time. Fortunately I went to one of those schools where ppl hear the name and go oooOoooo woOOooOOow and don't generally care about my mediocre GPA.

I never really had a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't feel I'm one of those people who has a Calling TM. I'm good at and enjoy a variety of things, and I have a hard time being happy doing the same thing for a long period of time. I worked as a professional actor/singer when I graduated, and even within that field I became unhappy when I did too much of the same kind of work. Ultimately, as I grew into myself, I became frustrated and disillusioned with the industry in general, and with how I was being forced to live my life. I so rarely got to do anything I genuinely enjoyed, the work that paid best was utterly soul-sucking, and the general attitudes of the people around me esp. towards maintaining one's appearance were very unhealthy for me. They're unhealthy for everyone of course, but I was trying to recover from viewing my body in a negative light, and being around ppl with these attitudes made it pretty much impossible.

So I was already sort of looking for a new path of some sort a few years ago, but what I didn't realize at the time was that I had completely lost faith in myself and my abilities, and was selling myself incredibly short. I tried to do a bunch of dumb shit which obviously wouldn't be fulfilling in any way, tried to reshape my life into something bearable, and failed miserably several times. I was in fact halfway through discarding another failed attempt and taking up a new one when the pandemic hit. I ended up having to move back in with my mother, and what we all hoped would be a couple of months turned into Whatever This Is. So I found myself with a lot of time to think lol. And while it was a very difficult experience, I kept telling myself, whatever you do, no matter how bad it is, you need to actually think ahead for five fucking seconds and try to do something that will actually work, you know lol, because otherwise you're just going to end up in the same place again.

Law school started as a whim like any other; I was having lunch with my mom, and she mentioned offhand that she thought I should go to law school (she didn't go but she has a lot of lawyer friends). And I was feeling just insane enough that day that I was like yeah idk maybe I should. So I went home and was like okay how does one go to law school. I looked up a practice LSAT, took it knowing absolutely nothing about the LSAT, and did EXTREMELY well. So I thought, well. Huh. I need something to do w my life so I stop wanting to eat drywall, why not study for the LSAT lol, can't hurt.

And it just sort of kept going from there. Practicing for the LSAT gave me a sense of purpose, applying to law schools gave me a sense of purpose, and that sense of purpose enabled me to start slowly improving the horrible circumstances I was in. I didn't know how anything would shake out and to be honest I didn't particularly care at that point. Looking back I think I really had no hope for the future, and I was pretty crazy and didn't really feel like I'd be able to live very much longer. I didn't envision myself as a lawyer really, more as a law student lol. Schools have a lot of free resources and people who want to help you, and even as crazy as I was I felt I was in a much better place to take full advantage of those things than I had been in undergrad, in order to achieve SOMETHING. I wasn't really worried about what that might be.

So, I vowed to myself that whatever happened, I would really try, not just in school but to build a better future for myself. I did not arrive here in a good mental state, to say the least lol. And going back to school brought back a LOT of painful memories from my previous time in school when, as I mentioned, I was infinitely crazier. As just a couple of random examples, I was sort of toying with the idea of trying to learn a new language, and realized that I was still holding onto this intense guilt about the mental breakdown I had while taking a Russian class in college. One of my professors told me that I was an amazing writer, and I realized no teacher had ever told me that before. I had these insane moments sitting in class where I would get emotional because I was just so happy to be there, in spite of absolutely everything. I stopped regretting all of my past mistakes, because I genuinely think, no matter what horrible things I've done, I would do them all again if they would bring me here. My favorite professor literally saved my life, and is probably the only person in the world who could have successfully convinced me to go to therapy. I can't really even wish I'd done any of this sooner, because I know without a doubt that I wouldn't have been ready.

There are definitely some challenges to being back in school after so long. I remember feeling especially when I was around my friends who were in grad school that if I had to, like, write a long-ass paper or something, I just wouldn't be able to do it lol, like I'd just be so pissed that I had to do some arbitrary assignment. But it should be noted that I, like, despise philosophy-type subjects and things with no practical application, and always felt like I was bullshitting my assignments to make them longer. Not only do I love law school assignments because they are about applying the law to a set of facts (which may be made up but still have real-world relevance), but I always have a LOT to say, and am always struggling to make my papers SHORT enough rather than dragging out my dumbass takes to meet the minimum lol. It's a lot of work, but generally it's work I actually WANT to do, which makes all the difference.

I definitely also feel a bit of a disconnect from most of my fellow students. I think this is partially an age thing and partially a life experience thing. Like, for example, I had a series of hilarious conversations with ppl a few weeks back bc one of my classmates was like "where do you go?? you leave class so fast?" and i was like ?????? when class is over you get to leave that's the deal??????

And I was talking to my fave professor about this and she was like yeah that's definitely a difference of being a little older, you're probably just not in the same mindset that they are. Which is definitely true, and worth keeping in mind. It's not a big deal really but it can be very isolating if you don't feel like you can relate to your classmates on that level. I sometimes get a little :( because I don't usually have a hard time talking to people but I'll just have the most insane interactions w some of my classmates and have to talk myself down like it's okay it wasn't you the other person was the one acting weird LOL. Also, for me at least, I definitely have a little bit of a 'you can't tell me what to fucking do' attitude sometimes LOL, and will get really irritated when professors keep us over time or make us do something pointless. That may just be my sweet personality, but I think in general having been out of school for awhile and also being a bit older, I'm MUCH less tolerant of trifling bullshit than when i was younger LOL. Generally I think there's a lot LESS trifling bullshit to deal with in law school bc there's just so much that's genuinely important to learn? But something to keep in mind.

But god there are SO many benefits! Like, as I mentioned, I'm a naturally intelligent person, but it's actually terrifying how much my mind had slowed down over the past few years. I've had SO many moments here where I was like oh my god, I'm stupid, I'm just stupid and I can't understand this-- and then I was like okay sweaty :) have you considered taking a nap and maybe you'll calm down :) lol but you get my point. Learning new things in a structured environment where you literally have to do the work I think is so beneficial especially at this particular age, since most people get pretty settled into their ways around 30, and personally I don't particularly like being set in my ways and want to always be growing and improving and pushing myself. Every aspect of my life has improved noticeably since I've been here, my physical and emotional and mental health, my memory, my writing, my personal relationships--everything.

BUT that is a direct result of all the work I've put in, because I did this at the right time for myself, and at a point in my life when I'm able to truly appreciate the value of a good education and all the benefits and resources that come with that. So, I would say that if you're in the right mindset to go back to school, it's absolutely 1000% worth it. But if you feel like, 'I don't want to do this, this is a waste of time and will make me miserable,' then I'd say wait it out a little more. There might come a day when you're like, wow, I'm so ready. Or you might think, I can't believe I was gonna go to grad school for That TM that would have been insane, and want to go for something else lol. I think we're so conditioned not to listen to our intuition that we don't realize a lot of the time our gut instinct will tell us whether something is the right move or not!

Wow this was long lol, thank you so much for reaching out, friend, and I hope some of this was mildly helpful or entertaining! I wish you the best in your ventures, and of course I'm always happy to talk more!

[charcoal-ghost]

thinking about gender I guess

the idea of being a man or nonbinary means literally nothing to me, I don't think of much at all when I think of it. and being a woman means something that I don't feel like I have. I keep thinking back to that time my friend asked me to braid her hair and I did a shit job because I'd literally never done that before and I don't know why? Even back when I had long hair, it was just there. My mom never braided it, I never braided it, no one else did either. Paige did Tamia's hair easily when we were at that prom night nail party, and it wasn't like she was particularly interested in hair styling. It was just a skill everyone at the table had except for me. I never think about makeup outside of art. Even when I wear dresses and skirts, it makes me feel pretty, but I think something about it is off.

And obviously that's not what being woman even is, wanting makeup and cute hair and stuff. There's something else there that I don't have. I feel like there's all these experiences I just never cared enough to seek out. I feel like I've never even really lived in my body at all?? It was always just a thing that was there.

I'm thinking about how to phrase feeling like a beast in a stranger's skin, but I wonder if that's a different issue altogether. It's not like I ever wanted any of those things and just pushed them away, except I probably did exactly that since I didn't want to bother my mom by expecting her to do my hair or bother anyone by having styled hair. Why did the idea of styling my hair feel so exhausting?? Like the effort I put in wasn't going to be worth it because it would still just be me with my hair twisted up all wrong, and the idea of someone seeing it and having to go through the process of having a reaction was like secondhand exhaustion. Nothing felt like anything. Why was I so far removed from the things I was supposed to want? Was it because I genuinely didn't want it or because I'd already been trying to make myself smaller?? I don't how I'm supposed to tell difference or if the difference even matters in the end. Like why does it matter why I feel the way I feel about my gender if it all leads to the same result of me not really feeling like anything at all?

[usefulstuffmouzon]

Incised Band Signs

I've been working on an incised band sign workflow for over 5 years. There's no better sign type for a classical institutional building than one that is incised into the frieze. It's a great idea for institutional buildings because they tend to be used for the same thing for decades or even centuries, like the US Supreme Court, which is unlikely to be used for anything else in any foreseeable future. A Main Street or High Street business sign, at the other extreme, will change as soon as the business fails or moves to greener pastures.

Hoefler Text is an excellent and authoritative font with serious gravitas. I've used it for years but took on the task back in 2019 of modeling an incised version in SketchUp. If anyone wants that workflow let me know, but it's too long for here, filled with painstaking processes. Here's Hoefler:

Once I finished the exhausting task of incising Hoefler I put it away and didn't really figure out how to use it best. The last several days, I've been working on a project that richly deserves an incised band sign so I decided to develop a better workflow and document it this time. Here it is:

Set a scale. 2019's Hoefler had no particular scale; capitals (depending on where you measured them) were between 55.59" and 55.64" tall. So I picked the I, which had two points perfectly vertically arranged and scaled the alphabet to 12" tall. Obviously, that can scale to anything.

The next task was to get the center, which was easy: it's the midpoint of the line that connected the two points above and below each other in the I. Given that, I drew a horizontal, then copied it 12" upward and 12" downward in which the letters were centered. I repeated this on the lowercase and numerals, which worked out perfect at 20" tall instead of the 24" for uppercase.

At this point, the font file was complete. The next task was to figure out how to get the sign text on the frieze. Because Adobe Illustrator is world-class at text, I started there. I created an artboard slightly smaller than the frieze and laid out horizontal & vertical guides centered on the dartboard. To do this, just drag a horizontal & vertical guide out of the rulers, then select them and set their precise locations.

Next, create a text box and set the font. Because 1" of paper is (supposedly, more on this later) 72 points digital, a 12" letter should be 12 x 72 = 864 points. Except it wasn't. I'm not sure whether Hoefler is different from most fonts or not, but what was supposed to be 12" tall was something like 8.35" tall. So I scaled it up and it was really close. So I laid out the sign and adjusted the tracking so it read well but didn't crowd the ends.

At this point, I was ready to Export As a DWG file, but for some reason that option wasn't available. It could be a scale problem, with the artboard being nearly 57 feet wide. After a lot of googling I went to plan B. If not absolutely precise, there were a lot of ways things could fail if I tried to drop the letters right into the DWG-turned-SketchUp profiles. So I just saved a PDF from Illustrator and imported it into SketchUp.

I then had to explode the PDF in SketchUp to make it usable, but the letters themselves were just pixellated images, but that should still work if I didn't insist on perfection. So I centered the PDF over the slightly-smaller-than-frieze-size rectangle and centered the Hoefler alphabet vertically just to the right of the frieze rectangle.

The next step was to drag-copy the letters from the alphabet to the right, snap-sliding along the bottom of the frieze rectangle so nothing would ride up or down. I eyeballed it as best I could, knowing inaccuracies would abound.

Some were really close. Others were not, like this one. For each letter, I drew a line upward from the alphabet letter and then slid line & letter whichever way it needed to go.

Once the letters were all in place, I exploded them and set their material (SketchUpSpeak for color) to the color of the frieze. I'm now about to put the frieze into the building. It has been over three hours of work to get to this point, but it's this sort of thing that really sets a rendering off.