#tho that sounds like a pain in the ass and also the only ppl who send me prompts late are my friends

[hirokiyuu]

i really do need to make a blog self intro for a pinned but...... honestly i might just make it an easy access for all the stuff that i personally want to reach whenever

[koolades-world]

Ok so I've randomly had this genius idea and was keeping it in my head for a month or so. And i for some reason had an urge to find someone to make this thing. And YOU got unlucky to be in my FYP with open requests! Poor you, now you are cursed with this request! (Also ur writing is cool, but im suck at giving compliments~)

Imagine being a one of the most powerful demons in entire devildom, falling from heaven, going through a war.. and you just meet a human, who is crying because of a paper scratch! That's the request!:

Brothers with Pain-sensitive MC/MC with Algophobia if you prefer.♡

Ahem🤓👆, Algophobia is a phobia of pain. No one likes getting hurt, but algophobic person is afraid of it more than normal ppl. Also Algophobia makes all pain feel even more painful because if the fear🤓👆

These two are pretty much the same, but Algophobia one has more angst potential than just "Pain-sensitive"

This thing sounds just so hilarious in my head, imagine after MC does something bad Lucifer wants to punish them, but then he remembers that this human uses cooking gloves to drink coffee because "its way to hot" and ends up with existential crisis because all of his punishments will turn Pain-sensitive MC into dust😭

I saw a lot of ppl headcanoning that demons are like "well, humans are fragile and easily will die!" and starting to think that human is dying when they broke a bone. Thats funny, but imagine what would happen if it ACTUALLY were like that. Mammon wants to get MC to the casino, but then sees how they slip and fall to their knees and the crying because "FFFFF MY KNEEEEES HURT😭😭😭" And he is just like..."Damn, bro, how u live like this" and ends up way to afraid to bring them to the casino bc of "eeevil demons that would eat them!".

Also i imagine that Levi would do something similar, but, lets agree that him asking MC to go somewhere is an impossible scenario. I think he will do a good job tho.

Satan and MC hanging out in the garden with cats and this dude, who can easily broke the entire house if he gets angry, casually watching this piece of human struggling to pet a cat bc of their shaking hands. "Come on, just pet it, u got it, MC." "but cats have claws and claws are paaaainful!!!!"

Asmo is probably the only one who will have no problem with that, lol. This dude loves saying about being gentle. Yeah, not surprising that i simp for him. But dynamic between Devildom's biggest slut and a Human, who never kissed with anyone because "well, if i am kissing someone, I can't tell if the person is not gonna get a knife a d won't stub me! and stubbing ppl is painful!" sounds hilarious.

Beel is a big cinnabun, we all can agree. But yhis cinnabun is so big, that it can easily hurt MC accidentally! Even average people often cause ain-sensitive MC pain, and someone as big and strong babyboy like Beel? Damn, poor big man and MC, who waits for hot food to cool down for 15 minutes before eating it because "hot food is painful!"

Belphegor probably will do okay.. i mean, if we ignore 16 lesson.. he is pretty gentle boy so i guess he won't do anything bad. But, i can still imagine how this dude might hurt MC in his sleep and when wakes up and sees them, ouch-ing and rubbing their cheek, because "you were asleep and accidentally hit my cheek.." while this dude was just changing his sleeping pose.

So you can make something fluffy with brothers trying to not-hurt Pain-sensitive MC accidentally, you can do it in memes, you can do some angst with Algophobia. You can do whatever you want, i give the idea, you use it if you want!~

Damn, this think came out like a whole ass post. But i hope you didn't got bored halfway, lol.

Have a nice day tho!~~~

hi! haha I didn’t get bored you understand me!! I absolutely love when someone is just as excited as me about an idea :) this is exactly what I do when I have an idea I love so much I want to squeeze it in a good way

glad you like my writing 🥺 <3 please enjoy!

Mc with Algophobia

Lucifer

he knows right off the bat because it was on your paperwork (creepy) but makes accommodations where he can (loving)

essentially baby proofs the house right after you arrive once he realizes you’re being serious including padding on every sharp corner

always has a first aid kit on hand because he’s worried about you and won’t hesitate to offer you all the time off you need

finds himself unconsciously making sure you're ok

Mammon

didn't take you seriously at first until you almost started crying upon reach into the freezer to help defrost Goldie yet again

wants to help you with your fear, and unveils all of his stupid fears to you, including his fear of public water fountains

when you're not together, he has his crows keep an eye on you for him to make sure you're ok

often opts to stay home with you if it makes you more comfortable

Levi

so so chill about it since he himself is afraid of many things, and while not paralyzing, goes out of his way to avoid all these things

lets you know the door to his room will always be open for you if you need a place to relax for the hour or day

protective of you in a way he never felt before

ready to listen to your woes and try to help resolve them for you

Satan

to some extent, he understands what it's like to be misunderstood and he goes out of his way to boost your confidence

knows some amazing professionals that might be able to help you out if you want

works on himself and his outbursts to keep you safe and unafraid <3

holds your hand as often as he gets the chance to reassure both you and himself that you won't get separated and avoid any potential problems

Asmo

100% finds many excuses to kiss your booboos

finds all sorts of fun cute ways to make sure you don't get hurt and stay happy

if you get hurt around him, he's on top of it and upset too since he hates to see you unhappy

whatever you need, he's got you covered. he carries some of you things in his handbag that he always has with him in case you need it

Beel

doesn't understand at first, but is more cautious around you

he knows humans are fragile but he severely underestimated your fear

however, he's willing to do anything that you need from him

he knows his strength and always finds himself moving slower and more protective around you

Belphie

at first, he couldn't have cared less but after he got to know you, he felt extremely guilty about what he had done

does everything to make it up to you and prevent you from getting hurt again

expect lots of gifts that include nice blankets and cute bandaids

finds his way to your room in the middle of the night often to make sure you're fine and then stays (he's totally not just sleepwalking)

[doxypsychlean]

Aegon II Targaryen x niece!Innocent!reader and her reaction to the dinner scene. Like she’s completely in love with Aegon but also that’s her family and brothers and sisters??? 🤍🤍🤍

Strong

Aegon II Targaryen x Strong!Reader

Next chapter: Strong pt.2

Warnings: Targcest, Explicit language, Some NSFW stuff but it's mild, Bit dark, Blood, Aegon gets his ass kicked -sorry, I'm in a weird mood for violence-

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

Additional info: Aegon and the reader are married, Viserys' failed attempt to make peace. Reader is Rhaenyra's and Harwin's oldest. A Stronk gworlllll✨

A/N: Wasn't sure what Anon meant by "innocent", so I'm taking it as the reader being a patient and understanding person. Till she snaps...muehehehhehe >:)

P.S. I might write a pt.2 to this one, if there's enough ppl interested in reading it. Pt2 will be closer to what Anon requested tho, so not as whatever tf this is

"Think before you speak" Alicent, his mother, told him once after her hand had collided with his face.

But in order to do so, Aegon first had to learn how to listen. He'd never liked listening to others. He saw no point in learning anything from them. Prince Aegon had his own ways of moving through life.

"If you ever wish to know what it is to be well satisfied, all you have to do is ask." The Prince said as he made his way back to his seat.

From the corner of his eye, he could see his wife's pained expression. She didn't say anything, only stared down at her hands that were resting in her lap, fingers digging in. Angry tears threatening to spill from her dark brown eyes.

The woman made no move, even when her younger brother, Jace, slammed his hands on the table as he got up. All she did was shake her head from side to side, teeth clamping down on her tongue until she could taste the blood.

Not long after, music filled the room, expelling the silence. The Princess had turned to stare at her brother and aunt who were dancing, with a sad look on her face. The things she'd give to have Aegon offer his hand to her the way Jacaerys had done to Halaena. Instead, her husband was staring down the two, taking sip after sip from his cup.

────────────

Strong. Strong. Strong.

The word echoed in her head. She turned to look at Aegon, eyes urging him to do something. Say something. Anything.

The wolfish grin on his face said enough. He wouldn't stand up for her, wouldn't protect her from his brother's harsh, cruel words.

The Princess rose to her feet, muttering excuses as she walked past her brother and out of the room.

As she reached the door, a loud bang came from behind her. The woman turned around, a shocked gasp tearing through her bloodied lips. Aegon was holding Luke by the neck, pinning him down on the table. Aemond shoved Jace, the boy falling to the ground then quickly getting back up.

She used the moment to slip past the heavy doors.

────────────

She stared down at the burning logs in the fireplace, her grip on the book she was holding turning deadly as the doors flew open.

"Oh, how did you get here before me?" Aegon giggled as he made his way over to her, feet stumbling.

He was drunk. Again.

"I left hours ago." She sighed as she closed the book.

"You did?" The Prince let out a confused sound. "When?"

"Shortly before you slammed my brother's head into the table."

Aegon came to stand before her. He took the book from her hands and placed it on the table next to her. Then, ever so slowly, he sunk down to his knees, chin coming to rest on her leg.

"Well, the little twat deserved it." His finger went under the skirts of her dress, then trailed up. "Not my fault he doesn't know his place."

The woman squeezed her thighs together before his finger could go any further. She looked away from the man.

His brows furrowed, a look of puzzlement and slight hints of anger twisting his fine features.

"Are you angry with me, wife?"

She bit down on her tongue once more, blood gushing out of the fresh wound.

"No." The word came out as a whisper. "Just disappointed..."

His hands dissappeared from under her dress. Aegon grabbed her wrists with one hand, the other reaching for her face. Nails dug down as he turned her to look him in the eyes.

"Come again?" He hissed out, thumb rubbing over her bottom lip.

The woman pushed him away, Aegon falling on his back. Then she got up, leaving him to stare up at her in shock.

"First you offer your bed to my cousin, the one that is to marry my brother." She took a step towards him, Aegon crawling away. "Then your fucking brother insults me and my family in front of everyone."

Another step. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, licking away the blood that was trailing down her chin.

"You lay your filthy hands on my brother..." His back hit the wall. "...And now on me?"

Her knee met Aegon's face, blood splattering everywhere. The Prince sobered up fast. There was no anger left in him. Just fear. And desire. And lust.

"I am strong, husband." She said as she kicked him in the ribs, the man curling in a ball. "I am a Strong."

Aegon tried to hide his face, to hide himself from her.

But there was nowhere to hide. Not now. She'd been so patient with him. So understanding. She never demanded anything. Let him run around, chasing his whores. Let him drink himself stupid, then crawl into her bed. In her.

Her fingers ran through his silver-white hair. Then the hand formed into a fist. She pulled him up.

"Harwin Breakbones' blood runs through my veins. You know it just as well as I do." Aegon hissed, hands reaching for the one that had pulled him back on his knees. "Trust me, next time you do something like that..."

Aegon's ears started ringing. She'd slapped him. Hard. Harder than anyone had ever struck him before.

"...I will..." Followed by another slap. "...break..."

Aegon groaned as she pulled him up, so he could stand on his feet. Then she slammed the same hand she'd used to pull him, against his throat. The Prince's head smacked against the wall behind him. She squeezed.

"...each and every bone in your body."

With how close she was to him, Aegon could feel her breath fanning over his neck. He choked as her grip got bruisingly strong. Small white dots appearing in front of his eyes, hiding her angry face from him.

"Strip." The woman said. "That's why you came here in the first place, right?"

Two shaking hands reached for the clasps of his doublet. Aegon undid them quickly, letting the piece fall to the ground as he tried to unbutton his undershirt.

"You wish to act like a wild, uncivilized whore..." She pushed him away, tearing through the buttons of his silk tunic and making them fly out in all directions. "So be fucking it. You'll be treated as such."

A sound came from deep inside her chest. She was laughing. A low, short laugh. Her hands dropped back to her side.

"Not my fault you don't know your place..."

Then they went back up, to Aegon's breeches.

"But you'll learn."

[daz4i]

suicide and general negativity ig

i hate that english doesn't have a good word for מיואש (filled with despair. hopeless? ig) bc this is how i'm feeling fr

there is just. nothing good. and there is so much bad - both BAD bad bc of the war but also mundane bad bc yknow, Life - that i'm getting so overwhelmed i can't handle anything

my whole month is filled with medical shit and there's probably gonna be even more bc i need more tests and they're all just. such a pain to do (it sounds whiny but genuinely i can't handle them. just thinking abt them makes me so anxious bc they all require lots of painful preparation, sometimes for a few days, and they're so gross and require being poked with needles which my medical trauma certainly isn't helping with. and even tho i did so many already they can't find shit and i'm so tired i'm so done with this body

and like. it'd be one thing if i wanted to live. if i wanted to make my life better or thought it was possible. but by now i know it's not and i know i won't so it just becomes infinitely harder. like if i compare life to being in prison, it feels like the warden decided to torture me just for fun to make it even worse

but there is nothing good there is nothing to look forward to bc everything is shit and nothing's worth it and i hate when ppl tell me to enjoy the little things bc there is nothing to enjoy about them either. i can't have most of them anyway. i wish i could. but this shitty ass body and fucked up brain won't let me

there is no future for me i know i'm never gonna amount to anything when i can't even do the most basic shit about being human, literally how am i gonna be able to fulfill my """"potential"""" when i can't even do stuff like eat or sleep normally. when i can't go outside. when i can't handle being around people. when my body crashes and burns after standing for a few minutes or walking for more than a couple hundred meters. what even IS there for me to achieve in such a state. the only win i can have is getting out of bed and it doesn't feel like a win because i don't. want. to live. i have fucking professionals, people getting paid to help me do at least some of these things, and i can't bring myself to even take the first step bc just thinking about it makes me clam up so bad i can't move or talk and everything starts hurting so much more

there's not even. mundane fun. or joy. bc no one i know has time or energy for that. bc that's just what being an adult is ig. not that there's much to do in order to have fun anyway. like i said nothing to look forward to everything is so shit and nothing actually brings me joy anyway and it's not like i can handle being around people enough to help with that

i was not meant to be alive i am not designed to exist and like at this point I'd assume my who knows how many near death experiences may have been the universe trying to correct the mistake that is my existence and for some reason not managing to pull through the final stretch

i'm so tired i'm so done with this i wish i could be killed in some certain quick way bc i can't. i can't handle any of this. this is too much

[agropuff]

tell me everything abt hicktown RIGHT NOW!!!!!

WOah calm down there friend no need to pull out the capital letters and the five (5) exclamation marks! (tysm for asking abt them they're in my head 24/7 and I'm kissing u right on ur beautiful noggin)

okay, this is really hard to explain itd be easier to show but I have ZERO (0) pages done so ur gonna have to stick with me okay pleas and thank u.

Hicktown takes place in a small town in the 80s and focuses (I'm gonna switch POVs a couple thousand times so sorry in advance) on Jacob, who has just moved into said small town to live with his stepbrother Joe and him being the amazing family man he continues his fathers legacy by leaving a child by their lonesome to go party with his friends and now Jacob's on his own so he just explores this big ass house, did I mention Joe's family is rich? Remember that.

Switch POVs we're with Joe at this random party hanging out with his girlfriend (Angie) and his BFF (Eddie) on a patio (very important detail/s). Angie fucks off to who knows where and so The Boys are alone and Eddie breaks the silence with:

"Hey, I love you man but your girlfriend is kind of a freak."

Very tactful but not tactful enough so Joe displaying a very Rare W is like "Hey man that's totally not cool what you said about someone I really care about please take that back and apologise to Angie or we won't be friends anymore." (HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY SAY THIS IT INVOLVES A LOT LESS CRITICAL THINKING) so they have a big fight Joe probably calls Eddie faggot (did I mention that Eddie's gay and has internalised homophobia running through his veins and Joe knows this and also uses this against him. Wow [I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER]) so Eddie leaves and Angie comes back.

Angie can see that he's upset so she Invites Joe to go out into the woods with her to take a breather and he Accepts.

So they go out into the woods together and they talk about anything that they can think of until Angie stops Joe. They're deep into the woods now and the only thing allowing them to see is the moonlight. It's a quiet night sans the music but even then it's been drowned out from the distance. Even the quiet chittering of wildlife is gone.

A twig snapping is what breaks Joe out of his trance.

It all happens so quickly. There's a bat cracking his skull open and white hot pain is eating him alive.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here or I'm gonna spill the entire story LOL. Sorry abt how messy and jumbled this is I'm sillay. but I gotta explain their character archetypes bc it's very important!!!

Joe's character is a spin-off of the pretty boy character he's that but awful. He's built off of being pretty, rich, privileged and WHITE (sounds silly but it fr adds to his character + I get to laugh at him)

He stops being an asshole i prommy <3333

EDDIE, my sweet boy, is the #gaybestfriend (+poc) trope

eddie loves and supports joe but also has a hard time standing up for himself and articulating how he feels to ppl and kinda just goes along with what joe does. the only reason he allows this is bc they're childhood friends (and he has a big phat crush on joe) he would not take shit from anyone else but keeping up with it is definitely wearing him down :(

things get better for all o them tho I love them too much to hurt them permanently

if you read all of this holy fuck u have my heart

[normal-thoughts-official]

you talk a lot about magnus and camille dynamic and how they started and all that great meta content that you know i love but here's a question that idk if you ever got: how long do you think they were together? bc i can't think of a specific timeline and personally i love the one you talked abt at some point how she was pretty much right after asmododo or something like that, so he went from one type of abuse into another... but how long was he there? was camille with him for 20 years? 80? 130? any theories?

ugh that's a complicated one because i don't really have an answer for that and i think about it often as well

altho i think you got confused about her being right after asmodeus, i definitely don't think she was. i mentioned it my post about the timeline to say that magnus COULDN'T have been born close to the 1800s because that would make it asmodeus and camille way too close and that can't be the case because it would imply camille is basically the only person he dated before alec doajsdoaj and we know that's not true cuz there's also other ppl like george and etc. it was more a point in favor of "early to mid 1600s" for his birth date

anyway! let's go through this. i mentioned in another post that i think he got together with camille right after george, and that i think george died around the middle of the US civil war, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. so let's say they got together around 1863. now, we have a few pieces of information:

magnus mentioned that he hadn't been with anyone for "almost a century" when talking to alec. i know i think magnus is time blind but he can't be TOO off here. that was in 2016 so that would make their breakup date be a little after 1916 if magnus remembers correctly

literally the only thing about the timeline in that time period that i can remember is that one picture there was in his file of magnus surrounded by girls at a party, which looked to be in the 20s to me. since camille was an abusive asshole probably sabotaging his every chance to meet people, that couldn't have been when they were together. so i'd say 1920 is like, the limit for when they could have broken up. it's up to you whether or not you think magnus would be jumping into his party animal role immediately after the breakup or if it would take some time for him to heal; personally i think both make sense (i think she made a huge number on him so it would make sense for him to take a while to get back to that kind of thing; on the other hand, a lot of people turn straight to being party animals after breaking up abusive relationships, especially because for so long abusers have kept them from doing anything fun. so both work imo) so it's up to you

conclusion: they broke up in 1920 at the latest, so the max you could go for is 80 years, if you go with a timeline where camille was right after george (george can't be after camille because magnus has had no relationships after camille, but there could have been a bigger gap between george and camille than i personally hc). it could still be less tho, because we literally have NO information whatsoever on what happened between 1861 and 1920. even if you go with "they broke up and magnus immediately went full party animal" (which is perfectly valid), it's also entirely possible that this happened in say, 1901 and that pic just happened to be from the 20s, years later. but i also don't think it could have been a lot earlier than 1901 because magnus said almost a century, implying less than a century between the year they broke up and 2016. and while i do think that any immortal would lose track of time after a while and mingle years and decades together, nevermind adhd time blind icon magnus bane, if they had broken up in, say, 1880, magnus would remember that over a century has passed, if anything because so much has changed since then. so i think for him to say that the breakup should have happened in the 20th century at least

so that's the analysis from what we've seen in the show. personal opinion! i think 80 years makes sense, but is a bit much. it makes sense because there does seem to be a pretty obvious gap in magnus' file from the 1860s to the 1920s and then it goes back to having many pictures of him, and that "disappearance" makes sense in the context of him being in an abusive relationship (which limits your interactions and going outs by a lot). it does seem to be a bit much because magnus is at max 400, so, if they had been together 80 years, that would have been 20% of magnus' life spent with camille. or 1/5. added with all the time with asmodeus, it seems to be... a bit much dioadsoaijd and like look i'm not judging, i know abusive relationships can last many years and decades even for mortals, nevermind immortals, but i just don't like the idea of it lasting this long personally, especially because i think it makes him getting with alec seem actually a bit soon considering how long the abusive relationship lasted, and that's ignoring asmodeus' abuse on top of it

so personally, i like it morenif its around 40-50 years. i think it makes sense. it would mean the breakup was sometime around the 1910s, and while, okay, there is a gap in his file that seems to only end in the 20s, we must not forget an important fact: shadowhunters are stupid. so i actually think it makes sense that like, magnus emerges from his abusive relationship and is still getting back on his feet, and shadowhunters just don't care. like who is that guy? oh some warlock, no one's heard of him since like the 1860s lol. whatever happened to him? who cares. anyway, we love racism

and then around a decade later it turns out that magnus is healing enough to be a pain in their ass; say, that is when he becomes HWoB, or simply that they are reminded of how powerful magnus actually is once he is back in activity, and so they go back to like, investigating him and updating his file. so the file gap could be explained in that case. it also actually makes more sense that it would take shadowhunters a while to pay attention to him again, and since magnus was healing from an abusive relationship, the time it would take for him to draw their attention might well be around a decade

and with 40-50 years of an abusive relationship that would mean magnus has spent 10-12% of his life with camille; which is a LOT of time (for comparison: my first abusive relationship lasted a little over a year and i was 16 at the time; that makes it have lasted around 6% of my life at the time, and it did a HUGE number on me, taking me almost 3 years to have a relationship again), but not quite as much as a full 20%. not just that, but him taking "almost a century" (it would actually make it be a little over a century in this timeline, but again, magnus is immortal and time blind, so give him a break) to get with anyone again makes sense. that would be around double the time he's spent with her before he heals enough to be with someone else. that tracks, because abuse fucks you up fast and unfuckening yourself up takes longer. magnus isn't even fully unfucked up (which is okay, he doesn't have to be), but for him to be ready to take such huge steps as he is taking with alec, i think around double the time he's spent with her spent on healing makes sense

(again, i'm mostly going off my own experiences here; my abusive relationship lasted almost a year and a half, my next relationship was almost three years after the breakup. so almost perfectly double the time before i was ready to have another relationship. and again, i know recovery isn't the same for everyone and a lot of factors go into this, but i just think a timeline where he's been with her for 80 years and then gets with alec less than 100 afterwards is a bit too fast)

i still think 40 years is kind of a very long time to be in an abusive relationship and like holy shit i cant even imagine, but also i mean, mortals have abusive relationships that last that long and to an immortal itd feel like less time, and it does seem to be what best fits the timeline, so

and yeah i think those are my thoughts dadsajdsa

LAST MINUTE EDIT BEFORE THIS IS PUBLISHED CUZ IM NOT REDOING THE WHOLE THING: i got an anon today saying that magnus said something about not having seen camille in 130 years (link) which i didnt/dont really remember but i trust that theyre right and im wrong because i dont remember a lot of shit from this show. 130 years before 2016 would be 1886, meaning that if they broke up at that time and got together right after george's death as i personally hc, that's a 20-year relationship. that sounds like it fits the timeline as much as any other to me, and like i said in that ask, i think it makes sense that magnus would play it down to alec by saying "almost a century" instead of how long it's really been cuz it's a bit too vulnerable, and plus, we know one of the ways he protects himself is by not letting people pinpoint exactly some important dates from his past, particularly his birthday and etc

and okay i know that 20 years together, then 130 years recovering is a huge difference, but also i think with twenty years together as opposed to my comparatively short abusive relationship the scars of abuse would deepen a lot and quicker, so maybe it makes sense that it would take a longer time to feel confident enough to get to dating again. plus, like i said, there's no real math to be had in that process, everyone is different, has their own history and recovery process and etc so it's not like there is a deadline. so actually scratch everything i said above im going with this timeline. the one thing that doesn't track with that is the gap in his file but also like i said shadowhunters are stupid, so. yeah 20 years together is probably closer to it

in the end its kind of a relief cuz i was like "holy shit 40 years is so LONG" so... yeah udndidn

[luci-cunt]

hey luci not to be an ao3 note but how does homesong end

kajsd;fljkasl;dfjkaslf;asjd I had so many plans man T-T

main points under this [VERY BIG AND BLATANT SPOILER WARNING FOR THE END OF HOMESONG] which unfortunately I doubt I will ever finish T-T

Ok first off

- Kevin and Neil are half-brothers bc Kayleigh and Mary are the same person

- Riko betrays them when they go to kill Livingstone (duh) and it backfires

- Stuart makes an appearance

Basically what was gonna happen is that 1) ppl are confused bc Neil can manifest the keys--which shouldn't be possible, and then they wanna know who his mom is/ parent--and eventually he cracks and tells them Mary and Nathan, but he doesn't give last names but he doesn't need to bc when the wolves hear Nathan they go "not Nathan Wesninski??" and he's like "Are you fucking kidding me" but then they all assume he's lying bc--

ok here's the thing about Kayleigh right?? She was a super powerful witch but she had this specific like, niche?? Brand?? where she would make Wolf-hunters infertile so they couldn't pass down their legacy at all, and Nathan Wesninski was one of the first she did this too. So everyone's like "ok but you look like a carbon copy of him tho, so you have to be his kid--but the only way you're his kid is if she lifted her curse."

Which is when Neil's like "ok well, it's not a thing bc Mary died, like--two years ago, and Kayleigh's probably still alive--"

Which is when Kevin's like-- "[Very specific date that I have not managed to find in Nora's ec or have the time to come up with myself--]??" and everyoen's like "??" but Neil is like "shit wait--how did you guess that???"

But poor Kevin is losing his fucking shit, and he very losely explains that it's the day his tether with his mother snapped--aka the day he was so distraut by not understand what was happening (bc he had no idea--he was with Riko and his tether had never snapped before) that he snapped at Riko, which pissed Riko off so much that he snapped back and broke his hand.

(aye aye it comes full circle)

anyways, then Gordo decides to stick his head in Neil's head--which Neil tentatively agrees to, and they confirm that yup--Mary is Kayleigh, which makes Neil a witch which means he really should not be able to be a wolf too, but Gordo's theory is that since he didn't know about his powers, he wasn't actively using them--which means he's gonna feel some insane pain when he does use them.

And Neil's like "yeah that checks out"

but then it's time to go hunt Livingstone down, which is a whole thing but most importantly Riko drags poor Jean along, and mans is fucked up from doing two locator spells in like one week but they all go to find Livingstone except that when they do Riko has Jean knock everyone out but Jean barely has the power for it and Neil ends up fighting it off so now it's just Riko, Neil, and Livingstone and Riko's like

"hey look! I brought you all these hoes! come work for me!" and Livingstone is like "You're an idiot" AND THEN!

Stuart!

Mans shows up bc Jean used to much power it was like a fuckin beacon and they came to investigate--cuz OOP! GUESS WHO'S A VERY OLD FAMILY OF HUNTERS!?!!?

Aeeeeyyyyeee Stuuuuu

Anyways, they manage to contain Livingstone, Riko, and Neil--but he recognizes Neil--and then he's like "wait a second" and also realizes Neil's a wolf and he gets pissed--which Livingstone uses to his advantage bc he's like "hey guess what--I know how to cure that :)" and Stuart decides to risk it, so he kills Riko, fakes Neil and Livingstones deaths (aka makes it look like Neil went supersonic to kill Livingstone and save the day) and then zips them across teh border.

Queue Livingstone and Neil trying to buy time and figure out how to escape, at least until Neil actually does manage to escape and Livingstone's like "ok now you're gonna get me out too right?" and he's like "no <3" and ditches his ass.

Then he shows up on the Bennet's front lawn in time to go "I lived bitch" and pass out an dyou know what? Good for him.

Then all the foxes and the wolves team up and threaten Stuart enough that he chills out and also kills Livingstone for them.

So yeah! alkdjfl;asdjf

I think that's all the lose ends?? Riko dies very unremarkably btw, alskjdf;laksdjf Stuart just snaps his neck when he tries to interupt him it's great.

Here's my favorite snippet from the outline doc! (it happens right after Neil gets his tether--and I mean like, right after)

Anyways, Neil can’t sleep though, all he can hear is the heartbeats of everyone in the room and every little sound outside feels like his father coming after him

Eventually he just sits up, thinking about going outside but he doesn’t want to leave everyone else inside

But Andrew’s up and dragging him into the kitchen where he makes himself a mug of cocoa and gets Neil a glass of water

They chat a bit, Neil asks why Andrew was willing to lay down his life in that moment and Andrew says it was because he knew Neil wouldn’t do anything.

Neil is DUMB and obvi goes to touch the scratches on Andrew, which Andrew says no to, so Neil just drops his hand and Andrew’s like “see--right there, that’s why.”

Neil’s like “yeah but while I’m a monster it’s different you fucking pleb” and Andrew’s like “but was it? You barely scratched me.”

He takes out the key and hands it to Andrew, explaining that he can feel how it’s the only rock in the river that is Neil now, and if it goes away or gets destroyed he’ll be swept right down with the current

And then the has the auDACITY to say ‘I want you to keep it’

Andrew gets all agro and like ‘I hate you’ but Neil’s like ‘I don’t think so bitch boy--you like me’

And then they almost kiss but Kevin interrupts them with his five am alarm and Andrew tells Neil he needs to sleep and shoves him down onto the couch. He turns on the tv and sits right by Neil’s head, with his back against the couch and sitting on the floor and Neil sleeps feeling the safest he’s ever felt in his life

The next time he wakes up Andrew’s in the same spot and it’s blindingly bright outside

They all get ushered off to the Bennett house and Neil takes Carter’s advice and decides to allow Gordo to dig around inside his head

SO yeah! Homesong! asjkdf;lkjadsfl;jk sorry this is such a long winded explaination and I'm sorry I'm never goign to finish it askdjf;laskdf;ljkasdflkj I love everyone who loved it!!!!! y'all single-handedly killed me <33

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[sunsetsover]

ideas on ballum’s first date? and does ben enjoy running his fingers through Callum’s hair just as much as callum does? p.s hope your holidays improve 💕

thank you, they weren’t so bad but i’m very glad to be home lmao 💞

ok so i went a little bit overboard w this but this is me we’re talking about, it’s to be expected lmao but i did them in bullet points for clarity !!

so ideas for the first date:

it’s awkward as hell at first lmao

ben is still in a lot of pain from his injury because he isn’t fully healed, and also he’s lowkey a nervous wreck bc he realizes this a big deal for callum!!! but also it’s a big deal for him too!!! he likes callum!! he doesn’t want to fuck it up!! for callum’s sake, and the sake of their Thing that they have going already

and callum is highkey a nervous wreck for a multitude of reasons…. mostly it’s the gay thing bc it’s all so fresh and new and he still can’t walk around the square without feeling like ppl are staring at him…. and he realizes a lot of it is paranoia but also like….. he’s just split up w whitney, and everyone around walford knows them and knows him and what’s happened and like there’s just no anonymity….. he kind of wishes they could get on a train and go somewhere else, somewhere where they can slip into the crowd where no one knows them so callum maybe won’t feel like everyone is watching them and judging him but ben can’t risk going too far away from home yet….. which is fine it really is he’d rather be safe than sorry and it’s Just A Pint anyway not a big deal……. it’s just that callum kind of wants to crawl out of his skin a little bit….. no biggie……….

(but callum still goes on the date, because of course he does. he wants to go out for a drink with ben. he does. that’s not the problem. the problem is everything else.)

so yh they go to e20 (it’s not ideal but the alternate choices are the vic, which has too many prying eyes, and the prince albert, which is too much too soon for callum) and it’s really awkward at first bc ben can sense how nervous callum is - jumping at every noise and constantly checking over his shoulder and can hardly sit still

and at first ben is a little bit put out bc he hasn’t had a problem keeping a man’s attention in a Long Ass Time but then he remembers what he was like when he was in callum’s shoes and can’t really be mad at him lmao….. he just is maybe kinda sad abt it bc this date is Weak and callum deserved better

so after a while ben asks callum if he wants to leave and callum is like ’???? wtf no’ bc he doesn’t even realize how jumpy and distracted he is

and ben is like ‘it’s ok if you do, i don’t mind, i get it’ and callum is really just sitting there like ???

so ofc bc callum isn’t saying anything ben starts rambling like 'maybe this was too soon, you have just broke up with whitney and you’re still getting your head around things, i don’t want you running into things when you’re not ready’ etc 

meanwhile in his head he’s like ben u Fuckin Idiot!! u’ve fucked it up!!!!!!! u’ve pushed him too hard this is too much u should have just waited!!!!!!!!!!!

that is until callum interrupts his rambling by Very Firmly saying 'ben, if i didn’t want to be here, i wouldn’t be here’

that shuts ben up lmao

after that callum makes a more conscious effort to relax and actually pay attention to ben and it doesn’t take long for callum to actually relax and forget where he is and everything that’s happened and enjoy ben’s company

and ben keeps having a go at cal for making him laugh bc it hurts and every single time callum gets really serious and apologetic which only makes ben laugh harder :-(

by the end of the night they’re sat practically pressed together in one of those rounded booths and neither of them know how they ended up like that bc they were on opposite sides when they sat down but neither of them really care :-)

they don’t stay out too late bc ben’s still a little out of whack from his injury, though it’s callum that insists they leave bc ben keeps being like ‘one more drink’ even tho cal can see him drooping w exhaustion :-( poor ben just doesn’t want it to be over bc tho the date started weak they have completely turned it around :-(

ben perks back up once they’re out in the fresh air and immediately starts teasing callum abt the fact that he’s walking him home

“proper gent you, ain’t ya? i can’t remember the last time someone walked me home after a date.” “you’re injured, i’m hardly gonna leave you to walk home by yourself am i? what if something happened to ya?” “what, during the five minute walk between e20 and my dad’s?” “you never know.” “just admit that you’re hoping i’ll invite you in for a nightcap.”

callum kind of freezes up at that but ben just gives him That Look and a small shove and says 'i’m joking, callum’

when they’re at the door to the mitchell’s ben turns to him with this soft smile and says 'don’t take this the wrong way, but i think we’re a bit too old for snogging on the doorstep while my dad’s probably sat in the living room’ and callum laughs and looks at the floor all shy because he doesn’t feel too old. he feels like he’s sixteen years old and he’s just been on his first proper date and this is all new and exciting to him.

(he supposes it is, in a way.)

and then ben very softly asks 'wasn’t so bad, was it?’ and callum smiles at him and shakes his head and ben smiles back and whispers 'good’ and leans over and kisses him on the cheek - it doesn’t linger quite as long as the last one, but this one feels different. warmer. like a promise of more to come. and he can’t help but grab hold of ben’s hand as he unlocks the front door and squeeze it as they say goodbye :-)

and they’re both so fucking enamoured w each other in that moment that both of them forget to ask for a second date lmao

so yeah it’s a pretty good date in the end lmao

as for hair stroking!!

he never really gets into hair stroking at first on account of the fact that callum is just So Fucking Tall and he always has his hair covered in gel so he can’t just do it absentmindedly the way callum does…… 

the few times he’s tried it’s awkward and not at all suave and natural the way callum does it, and then callum will complain about ben fucking up his hair and ben will end up with a sticky hand and like… there are more fun ways to end up in that situation….

besides it’s not like ben isn’t physically affectionate in other ways !!! it’s just that hair stroking is more callum’s thing

that is until one day callum practically passes out with his head on ben’s chest and all ben can see is the crown of his head…. his hair lookin soft as hell… smelling good bc he just had a shower…. and like what is ben gonna do? not stroke it?

and he’s glad callum is asleep tbh bc he has to like… figure out what works best…….. bc it’s not like lexi’s hair and it’s not like paul’s hair and it’s not like he has much experience with stroking anyone else’s hair…. so he’s like. Experimenting

and then he starts scratching at the shorter hair behind callum’s ear and cal makes this little sighing noise and presses closer to him and ben is just like oh ???????????????

so he keeps trying different things and callum just keeps on making these happy sounds and pressing his face more into ben’s chest and it’s just like…. game over….. he can’t believe This is what he’s been missing out on

or at least it’s game over while callum is asleep bc ben is Shy and doesn’t want to make a bigger fool out of himself in front of callum than he does already……. but like once callum’s unconscious? it’s game over

and callum has suspicions bc he keeps waking up to ben’s fingers tangled in his hair but it’s weird bc like…. why does he only do it when he’s asleep?

so, because he has learned from his other half Sneaky Bastard Ben, one day he fakes falling asleep just to see :-) and sure enough ben hands are in his hair within minutes - he starts off just gently rolling a bit of callum’s hair in between his fingers, but before long he’s full on stroking his fingers through the long part of callum’s hair

and callum pretends to be asleep for as long as he can but after a certain point he just can’t keep the smile off his face

and ben gets all huffy bc he’s embarrassed :-(

but callum just laughs and kisses ben’s chest and moves closer to him so he has easier access to his hair and ben resumes his stroking Immediately bc it’s like instinct now :-)

after that anytime they’re cuddling they basically cannot keep their hands out of each others hair

ben even takes to scratching at the hair on callum’s nape in public (when they’re sat down ofc bc callum is still So Fucking Tall) bc he can’t get to his favourite bit bc of the gel :-( so needless to say ben very quickly starts to hate the gel and tries to convince callum to abandon it but he won’t bc he thinks the slicked back hair makes him look Professional

ben pouts about it but he also kinda likes being the only one who gets to see his soft floppy hair now

anyway long story short, yes ben likes running his fingers through callum’s hair just as much as callum does, it just takes him a little while longer to catch on lmao

💖💖💖

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[satchaccuss]

SWJFO sure FEELS short at least.

This, like much of everything else I spew, is a rant. Sry.

Oh and there will be spoilers ahead for the game, so: sry.

Finished Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order yesterday (2019-12-01) and am now in the regular post-playthrough depression that always hits when finishing a game with no replay-value. Ooooh! Yeah I know some are gonna be mad at that, but it’s MY truth! The fact that the game doesn’t even have a new game or new game plus mode really drags. I bought it 2019-11-18, but because I was busy it wasn’t fully downloaded until 2019-11-22 and then I didn’t start playing until the next day and let’s say I then played maybe 3 hrs per day, let’s say everyday...then the game is around the 25 hrs mark, however: did I feel like it was time well spent? No. Did I feel satisfied with the ending? No.

Did I want to keep playing? For no reason? F*ck No! I mean I already got every secret and collectible before the final mission, so there is literally no reason to keep playing! This is the reason why dark souls has new game and new game plus modes, there is nothing to explore and do if you have already done it all! But if you get to play the game again, while keeping all outfits and weapons: you get some damn fine looking shots of your character looking awesome during boring-ass scenes you’ve already seen before! Honestly, the story was kind of meh in the end and the outfits were too few and the ponchos didn’t make any sense and the fact you don’t get to customize the colour of “you know what” until basically the end of the game just sucked all in all! Why wouldn’t you implement a “new game” mode in a game like this?! (I’m pretty sure the first one is just called “new game” and then the one after that is called “new game plus”, I think that was how dark souls did it at least, I can’t speak for the other games in the series tho it could have changed).

Seeing Cal wearing the outfit I chose and using the lightsaber I customized throughout the entire games cutscenes would be a much needed alleviation of a moderately boring story honestly... (But why can’t I change Cere’s saber piece on the other side?! I had to pick her piece for the other side too to make it look cohesive, and I didn’t like that, I didn’t want that, but it looks dumb otherwise!)

Yeah yeah, it isn’t as short as a usual indie-title, but it isn’t a Fallout game for sure, I mean I am still playing Fallout 4 every now and then because of all the shit you can do and all the different perks that can change your playstyle too... and because you can customize your character to look how you want and say kind of what you want and have it kind of matter and... *sigh*. 

Why is this Star Wars game so good but so bad at the same time?

I liked that you could change the buttons... I didn’t like that you couldn’t re-bind all things to new buttons. I mean having the shoulder button be block/parry only works in dark souls where the shield actually felt like it was there and oh it’s hard to explain, but it didn’t work for me in this game, so I re-bound it to the B-button and made dodge the Y-button. However, I didn’t know that the game f*cked itself and took away the “drop ledge”-button as well when I changed B. Luckily I, through my massive brain’s incredible problem-solving skills, managed to figure out I could manually re-bind the drop-button to my dodge-button (Y). I did google it first tho and got no useful information: instead I got a f*ck-ton of same-y sounding whining about pc-keybindings, which, for a console-user like myself: is f*cking useless! Apparently not a single other soul had had my issue! In the end, like I said, I figured it out, but still: The fact that the game didn’t warn me that I had consequently un-bound another command as well when changing the dodge-button was really shitty. Oh well. ...the game making X and B (because of my changed buttons no doubt, but still), the way to do double saber attacks was f*cking hilariously dumb tho and the fact that I couldn’t change that attack to other buttons really irked me let me tell you! I had to release the camera and steer sticks both during the fight that the game wants you to do it to push both X and B at the same time to perform the stupid attack! I literally could never do it again after because it was a hassle to let go of the left stick to awkwardly hold the controller somehow and push X and B down at the same time, my word! A useless attack since I could never do it smoothly. Not really the games fault, but still. Anyway...

...why was Cal a ginger?! You can’t have a ginger wear a red or pink outfit! It clashes! Couldn’t they at least have made his hair more of a brow-ish shade to ensure it would go with most colour-schemes. Ginger doesn’t go with red or orange because it is red-ish or orange! Then again: colour-wise most of the ponchos didn’t work with the under-outfits either so, gah! Who designed the cosmetics in this game!? It never quite looked right to me. 

...why was Anakin in it? I fail to imagine Anakin letting the empire murder children for no reason, yeah yeah: he murdered the kids in the temple that one time, but... he came back to his senses to rescue his son in the end tho right, so... Yeah ok, maybe not, but... I just don’t understand how torturing the kids make them inquisitors either, wouldn’t they just kill themselves right when they had the chance instead of actually doing the empires bidding after all they’d been through because of it? If Trilla was so angry at Cere for letting her get captured at all by giving up her potential location, why did she join and why did she stay? She could’ve killed her at practically any point, but didn’t and then she ended up dying in the end while kind of maybe kind of “forgiving” Cere anyway... I am confused as to how murdering force-users and kidnapping them and torturing them is even a viable plan at all, but then again I ain’t evil so... Sure sure, less potential jedi and all, but if one can turn to “the dark side” at any point then you can get off of it too at any point can’t ya? and if the kid was tortured to join you and stay, wouldn’t they be more likely to just f*ck off your “dark side”-shenanigans the moment you are out of earshot? Yeah, they make it sound hard, but I have no idea how this shit is supposed to work in the first place so what the heck do I know! Why is the “dark side” a thing in the first place? I thought the force was an all powerful omnipresent-kind-of-thing that moves through everyone and everything, why/how does it have a “dark side” if it is everywhere at all times? Technically, wouldn’t the ppl NOT force-sensitive and the ppl NOT using the force be the ones on the “dark side” of the force? They are the ones that don’t affiliate with it and can’t “feel” it after all... Technically the ppl on the “dark side” aren’t actually on a “side” of anything, they are just happening to use the force for evil. I can perhaps understand why the idiots in charge want something to blame, like our religious ppl inventing the devil, but the ppl that actually feel the force would know that there’s no such thing as a “dark side” of the force, right? And yet everyone, even Luke in that second new movie was all like “Oh my gawd Ray, you went immediately to the dark side, whine whine whine!” But the whole thing with you Luke was that you embraced balance, right? I mean you were all: green lightsaber but all black outfit and was so badass when ya rescued Han! It wasn’t Anakin that brought balance to the force like the prophecy Obi had had said: it was his son that managed it, right? Or was that retconned? ...anyway.

I feel like swjfo was so short and for the amount I paid for it, it sure as shit doesn’t feel worth it in the end. I mean, I was so shocked when I started up the game and was gonna load my save and saw that we were 54% or something through the game and the main story had barely picked up any pace!

This definitely felt more like a prequel to another, better, more story-rich and exploratory game. 

I hope that they are making the next installment where we as Cal explore balancing the force and get to use force-lightning! (I was so disappointed you never got to learn that in this game, it would have been cool... if the game was longer and there was more to do and more things to fight and such!) The fact that Merrin joined so late in the story was dumb, but a hope that they will make the next installment where we together with her and the other crew get a bigger cooler ship and get to explore the world to get rid of the empire together and learn about the force and such too together and maybe romance her or something too I guess, but a male option for the rest of us that don’t want to see that straight shit would be nice too of course. But if their story progresses nicely and their chemistry grows naturally, I wouldn’t necessarily mind in the end if they go steady with each other. 

Seriously tho, a warning from the game that there would be no more perks to be unlocked when I’d unlocked all of them would’ve been nice! At least an option to sink the extra points you could still get into health or force-meter or lightsaber attack strength, (kind of like in Asscreed Ori where ya could add points into increased arrow-damage or melee-damage of a small percentage indefinitely almost. I was literally expecting that to be the case with this game but nope!). Anyway, the second game should focus on us and the crew expanding our operation of defeating the empire by: gathering allies and tools and experience too I suppose and it should also focus on Cal beginning to research mastering all aspects of the force, maybe together with Merrin. Merrin herself should learn about the world and also learn it really wasn’t the jedi that were the cause of her loss and pain and grow as a person and grow closer to the og crew too. Not sure how to end that game tho.

The third and last installment should be one where we actually get to eradicate the empire and actually rebuild the world and potentially the order too. One where we get to actually find balance and get to use a red lightsaber and use force-lightning too without being evil! (That might be more of an end-game goal for the second game tho: Cal masters some of the many aspects of the force and gets to use force-lightning, but not enough to satisfy us maybe, so there’ll be a reason to play the third one or something lol). So: use a red lighsaber and more cool force powers including force-lightning and “master the force”, all the while also working to finish eradicate the empire. Maybe some world-building choices where we decide if or how the new jedi order should be and we become a council member and do council business and such. It could end with the entire world open too us, with little quests of minor significance but it’s something to do scattered around the planets and places on the planets, we get to “build bridges” with the ppl were are to protect as part of the new jedi order and heck, let me decide what should happen and then you just make the game for me yeah Respawn?

...anyway, final thoughts:

I am done with the game and have no reason to keep playing it. This makes me kind of sad, but in the end: the story was unsatisfyingly short and uninteresting and the ending left much to be desired. But! There is very minimal hope (knowing EA) that there will be more to come. Let us hope.

End of rant.

[notonthisplaneight]

What r ur thoughts on billy boy? I’ve seen a lot of the fandom say that it’s sexist and promotes toxic masculinity bc of certain scenes but I don’t think they realize that just bc a movie portrays something doesn’t mean it’s promoting it. Blake himself said in an interview that the movie was partly about portraying toxic masculinity. In miami where he grew up the expectations for boys were to act in certain ways and he wanted to explore how that type of culture can shape and affect a person.

warning, this is going to be a long post.

ok personally, i didnt like it because i was disappointed that he wrote a movie that was all about promoting man-pain created by situations that came at the expense of a female character (like the unnecessary death of Jennifer), and like you mentioned the highlighting of toxic masculinity. for the record, i was also only a little disappointed melissa was ok doing this BUT what else wud she do? not support her husband? so i get why she did it.

anyways, some of the dialogues were problematic for me esp since i dont know if he was making fun of the issue or trying to show us what douchebags those boys were…if he made it clearer i wud understand that its just a diaogue a bunch of sexist boys were having (the pubic hair dialogue. fucking mess). but he still was trying to portray them as poor boys just in the wrong situation.

i guess what im saying is i didnt like the way the movie was presented. i didnt like anyone except jennifer in the movie and even for her, he ended up giving a horrible ending. yes his character ended in jail and shit so i get that blake might not have wanted to glorify it BUT the whole movie he portrayed the character as if we are supposed to feel sorry for him and have a ton of sympathy when he was just whiny ass white boy with bad friends who kept making bad decisions.

the thing that made me have absolute no empathy for him was when didnt respect his gf enough to grant her wishes (no guns in a house full of kids. she was the only caregiver with income), and when she stands up for herself and kicks him out, he tries to gaslight/manipulate her by saying she doesnt mean it, and even tries to force his way back in. which then he ultimately got her killed. (i will say props to him for not making jennifer some weak ass victim character but im willing to bet melissa had at least some input into her character. thank god)

if he did say that he WANTED to show the toxic masculinity then i guess he gets some points for that but i wish he did make it clearer in the movie tho. there was just noone i liked except the only female character and she was treated horribly like a lot of male-oriented movies do. treat their female characters like an expendable plot device.

the bottom line, im sure he didnt intentionally try to portray problematic things and he was very young when he wrote it. but at the end of the day the movie came across wrong to a lot of ppl for given reasons. for the record, i know i have bitched a lot about blake in the past but i dont actually hate him and im glad he is doing better now and i will be watching his netflix show too. it sounds fun.

[woozi]

yza <3 im so sorry for vanishing like that 😭 my phone's not doing well so it's hard to open tumblr. all the gif posts hang my phone and kick me out of the app 😭 i missed you sm

darling is so cute i love it really, the choreo is even cuter 😭 them hips wiggling shua and woozi do it the best i'm obsessed!!

the song is nice like it's not wow kind but still very cute and enjoyabe ( AND IU'S VERSION OF IT? GOD BLESS I LOVED THAT ) how was the overall cb for you? <3

from the solo trailers till the music show promo end, i enjoyed everything. so nice to see boys perform infront of carats 🥺

the way this was everyone's era <3 all of them shined equally in performances, songs etc the nose ring. anyway- hdjfdk 💀 okay but i genuinely meant when i said this was really everyone's era 😭😭 i swear

the songs are great too! i love them (except maybe ash jdjdkd) im so so obsessed with don quixote (and wonu co-wrote it 😭)

don quixote, 'bout you, hot, if you leave me, shadow, domino, march. i liked them all but this my current ranking hddjdj

if you leave me's lyric are so 💔🥺. wish they performed it or don quixote on dingo music </3

the music video is so fking cool tho? and watching pd's (the form of therapy youtube channel's) review i got to appreciate it even more

ALSO ALSO OH MY GOD 😭💔 STILL CRYING ABOUT IT, GOT7 ALBUM OH GOD 😭 they really did that im so so happy for them and proud yza 😭 not only did they come back, they came back with a banger 🔥 hopefully ppl will stop asking them about d*sbandnent. how was the experience for you?

we're not only infjs but also birthday month twins _+$+$($) love that for us honestly!

i'm doing good except i need some new gadgets dhjdkd i hope you're doing well 🥺💚💙 i missed you so much, take care yza 🥺 thank you for hanging out with me even tho i keep vanishing, will try to not vanish 😭😭😭

mA CHERIEEEEEEE <3 HIIIIIIIIIIIIII 🥺

I MISSED U SM??????????????????? + omg no need to be sorry at all >:( also i relate sm JKHSDFJHKFDS my old ass phone crashes on every single app atp

PLEASE???????????????????? when i saw that part i just about fainted 😭 jihoon's rarely cute but when he's doing cute things... pain... REAL pain

ALSO AGREED W MY WHOLE CHEST?????????????? thats exactly how i described darling to my friends too dsjfdsjkfh she's not bad, and she has really served her purpose she's just not titty dropping yk <3 also sumn abt songs of this genre suit iu sm!!!!!! it sounds even more light when she sings it its v enjoyable. I LOOOVE what the boys have been doing, ion think i've ever been this overwhelmed with content tbh JDSFHJSDFSD but i'm not able to maximize it bc they always have cbs during finals season for me djfhsdkjfh but i can always catch up its nbd <3 how about uuu?

i was just gonna ask how u were finding this cb + ur rankings for the songs since i usually reply paragraph per paragraph without reading the whole thing yet AND I LOVE HOW U JUST MENTIONED EM DSJFHSDJKFH

AND SO TRUE???????????????? i really love how everyone had a chance to shine, esp members who dont get as much attention as the others (china line, dino). NOT THE WONWOORIDEUL JUMPING OUT???????????????????? 😭😭😭 i am surrounded by wonu girlies huh

also sOO valid of u <3 ash really isnt for everyone (esp w the amt of autotune and just… heavy semi-4th gen style in it), but she is my baby 🤩 (bc of the jihoon and ww chorus tbh) ALSO LOVE HOW BOUT YOU RANKS SO HIGH???

i bet thats another crier during cons....... its gonna make its smile flower moment tbh

AND YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! especially love the aspect ratio changes + 3d illusions that is sooo fucking hard to do and takes sm time... not to mention the transitions and illustrations on there??????? and omg so many people have been watching that vid maybe i should too 👁

AND I KNOW????????????? PLEASE, NOW EVERYONE WANTS TO PULL A GOT7 AFTER VIRTUALLY SHITTING ON THEM THEIR WHOLE CAREER 😭 it really is next to impossible and i respect them sm for even pulling it off (+ jb doing all that fucking paperwork??? mustve been literal hell) its SUUUCH a different experience too when u just love a group who u can just TELL loves e/o vm. AND I HAVENT SEEN BIRDIEBLR THAT ALIVE IN YEARS???????????????? we got more content than we have in their whole career in that 1 week tbh (also just in general after they left jype lmfao)

PLS??????????????? matchy matchy 😋

mood tbh 😭 manifesting those new gadgets for us </3 AND NOOOOOOO, i dont mind at all tbh. didnt even get a tiny bit upset bc i totally understand <3 and if its any comfort to u i have unintentionally disappeared from my friends for a month just last month JKDFHJSDFHS AND THESE ARE MY IRL CHILDHOOD BESTIES I’D RIDE OR DIE FOR 😭😭😭 also worst yza moment i disappeared on them irl for 2 years with no explanation i am the absolute WORST JKFDHJD SO PLSSSSSSS!! don’t feel bad at all i def get what u mean <3 i’m grateful u even spend time w me!! that being said ty for hanging out w me and i hope the rest of ur day/week is very sexie <3 MWAH