#currently reading/playing/watching list maybe

[hirokiyuu]

i really do need to make a blog self intro for a pinned but...... honestly i might just make it an easy access for all the stuff that i personally want to reach whenever

[bbyquokka]

blow me instead?

– “Why should I blow out the candles, when you can just blow me instead?” prompt

pairing | lee felix x gender-neutral reader

genre | smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

cw | established relationship ; dom felix ; oral sex (blowjob) ; finger sucking ; cum swallowing ; deep throating

words | 2.6k ~ ( 2,693 ) + 2 fake texts !

notes | a lil smth for felix's bday. jisung's will be posted at a later date when i've finished it :( don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

m.list — wips list — you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

you forgot. you’ve forgotten the most important day of the year and you are currently kicking yourself for it. it’s felix’s birthday, the one day of the year that you look forward to every single year – but for some unknown reason, this year you forgot.

maybe it’s because you’ve both been really busy that you haven’t given it a second thought. you’re always well prepared for things like this, but this year it slipped your mind.

you knew you forgotten something but you couldn't tell what. you had that nagging feeling in the back of your mind but you pushed it to the side. “i’ll figure it out later” you always told yourself only to forget – once again.

it wasn't until the day before, did you looked at your calendar and see ‘15th sept’ circled and decorated in hearts, labelled ‘felix’s bday!!’ did you panic. that nagging feeling quickly turned into a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. worry and panic washing over you and coating your skin in a cold sweat.

it was way into the night to go to the store to pick something up. everything was closed. you thought about making him something but realised that you don't have the materials to do so. so a quick search on the web was your last resort. you hoped you could find something that would do next day delivery but alas, after several hours of searching and drawing up blanks, did you accept your fate.

you woke up the day of his birthday, feeling guilty and it's eating you alive. you don't think you'd be able to face to him without bursting into tears.

“i should at least wish him a happy birthday.” you mumble. you take your phone from the night stand and open up felix's contact. your thumb hovers over the green circle. 

you hesitate. lips pursed together. you overthink. you can hear his sullen tone of voice. you can see his facial expressions twisted into sadness. your heart aches and feels tight, like someone is gripping onto it.

“fuck. i can't.” you throw your phone onto the bed beside you, watching it bounce from impact before rubbing your face with your hands and groaning. “maybe a shower will help me. i’ll call him then!” 

you didn't call him. in fact, you spent the whole day avoiding him. you did pop to the store and buy a small box of cupcakes and some candles. you had this idea of surprising him by turning up at his place with a fancy birthday cake, thinking it's better than nothing,  but when the store only had cupcakes to offer, that idea was quick to fizzle out.

the cakes are now sitting on the counter, untouched and unopened. you're in your lounge wear on the sofa, TV on but you're not tuned into whatever show it's playing. instead, you're on your social media, looking at what felix has been up to the whole day.

pictures of felix with chan, jisung and hyunjin. birthday wishes from friends and family flood his profiles. you're glad he's had a good day but that guilt just won't go away. 

you've shamelessly avoided him the whole day because you couldn't face him. it's cowardly of you and you know it, but in a way, you just shut off.

you rush to your feet. your sock covered soles slapping against the floor as you rush to the door. you open it and come face to face with a not so pleased looking felix.

'“i see you're still alive.” you swallow. he sounds irritated. he's angry at you and you don't blame him.

“felix, i–”

“are you going to let me in or are we just going to stand out in the hallway?” he cuts you off. you look down at your feet and shuffle to the side, opening the door wider for him.

he walks in, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat as you close the door behind him. he notices the unopened cupcakes and pack of birthday candles by the side of them.

“so?” he starts as he looks at you. your chin is tucked into your chest, fingers fiddling with one another. you feel like a child about to be told off by a parent.

“i'm so sorry, felix.” you start, keeping your eyes glued to your feet. you don't want to make eye contact with him because the guilt of forgetting is eating you alive. it's making you feel incredibly nauseous.

“for?” his arms crossed against his chest as he looks down at you, brow raised. his authoritative and dominant aura seeps out from his pores and clouds you, suffocating you in the process.

“... i–uh…” you start, words lodged in your throat. felix lets out a small, irritated sigh. “I forgot about your birthday.” 

your voice is small and cracks. you furiously blink back the tears that are threatening to spill from your lower lash line.

“you forgot?” you nod slowly. “is that why you've been avoiding me?” you nod again. “why?”

“because i thought you'd be angry at me… like right now.” felix runs his fingers through his hair slowly.

“i’m not angry that you forgot. it happens. i’m angry because you avoided me on my birthday.”

“i know.. i’m sorry.” you look up at him and chew your bottom lip. the cupcakes catch the corner of your eye. you rush to then, opening them and the candles before sticking one in the middle of the cake.

felix follows you and watches you with eager eyes. his gaze suddenly feels hot. he licks his lips as he admires your body, eyes flickering up and down.

he's undressing you with his eyes. 

you turn around, holding the cupcake in your hand with the candle flame flickering. you present it in front of felix and smile.

“i got you cupcakes though. i know it's not much but i couldn't find anything on such short notice…” felix simply hums and looks at the cake, then you. “are you not going to blow it out?” you question after some seconds pass.

felix leans in close. his lips brush against the shell of your ear as his voice drops and becomes low and deep. his warm breath fans against your ear as he speaks.

“why should i blow out the candles when you can just blow me instead?” 

goosebumps ripple along your skin. your heart suddenly starts racing. his breath feels ticklish against your ear, body temperature suddenly rising

“f-felix!” you squeak as he pulls back, finding amusement at your shocked facial expression. 

“i assume you didn't get me a gift so i can consider a blowjob as one. and if you do a good job, maybe i’ll let you off the hook for avoiding me on my special day.” 

“i–” you swallow a little, the heat from the candle is radiating onto your chin, adding to the increase of your own body temperature.

felix keeps his brow raised before trailing his hand down his torso to his groin where he squeezes and groans softly.

you can't take your eyes off him. you watch his hand squeeze and palm himself through his jeans. his veins bulging from his hands and arms. 

he kicks his head back a little, lips parting and giving you a view of his outstretched neck. his adams apple bobbing with his swallows. soft moan and grunts leaving his parted lips.

“don't just stand there.” his deep voice brings you back down to reality. “blow me.”

you place the cake down on the counter (after you blow out the candle) before kneeling in front of felix. he looks down at you. his dominate aura making you feel small and vulnerable but excited.

you can feel the pit of your stomach tingle and bubble with excitement. warmth coating your groin. the tips of your fingers and toes feel electric from the surging feeling of excitement that's mixed in with hormones.

you reach up and slide your hands up and under his t-shirt. his warm skin hugs the tips of your fingers. the sturdiness of his abs flexing and tensing with his stomach moving in time with his breathing.

you feel his smooth skin, tracing his muscles with your fingers. the only thing that isn't smooth, however, is the small, yet noticeable happy trail that runs from his belly button and disappears below his jean waistband.

“mhm..” felix hums softly, your touch giving him goosebumps. you move your hands lower until they come into contact with the rough fabric of his denim jeans.

you look up at him, asking for permission with your eyes to which he gives with a nod of his head.

you unbutton and unzip his jeans slowly, revealing that he is wearing black designer boxer shorts. you notice how his bulge is slowly, but surely, getting bigger with each passing second as he anticipates and waits.

you pull his jeans down to his knees. you press the palm of your hand against his crotch, massaging him slowly. he huffs. his cock twitching against the palm of your hand.

you give him a few gentle squeezes. your touch is too gentle for his liking so he looks down again you with glossy eyes.

“harder.”

you oblige by wrapping your fingers around his clothed length and squeezing, hard. his hips buck slightly and a soft, deep moan falls from his lips.

you feel his warm hand pressing against your cheek as his fingers graze along your jawline before bumping against your bottom lip.

he slowly strokes your lip, chewing on his own. 

“look at me.” you look up at him, making eye contact. two of his fingers nudge between your lips, gently pushing past them as you part them.

“good.” he whispers as his fingers caress your tongue. your brows furrow together, lips wrapping around the two digits as you suck. your saliva coats felix's fingers thoroughly whilst he pushes them further into your mouth until they're fully encapsulated in the warmth of your mouth.

the hand that around his clothed length has slowed down and is now loosely gripping him. your groin feels hot and excited, tingles in your stomach as felix explores the inside of your mouth with his two fingers before pulling them out slowly.

he gives a satisfying ‘hm’ before instructing you to continue with the nod of his head.

you whimper a little and reach up with both hands, grabbing the waistband of his boxer shorts. your fingertips brush against his hot skin, causing felix to shiver and huff in excitement.

you slowly pull down his underwear, revealing his happy train and v-lines slowly before his erect penis is revealed, bouncing and twitching at the sudden cold air hitting his hot shaft.

felix lets out a small breath of relief. the feeling of being restrained is no longer an issue. his hips buck slightly as you wrap your hand around the base of his shaft, stroking it slowly.

you watch the man above you slowly crumble. his penis twitching, pre-cum leaking from his slit. his shaft is hot against the palm of your hand, tip red and a few veins protruding along the sides.

your hand glides up and down his penis, rotating at the top. you use the pad of your thumb to gently rub his tip, smearing the pre-cum and making his tip glisten.

the sensitivity gets to felix. his hips rocking a little in your hand against his will, thigh muscles noticeable twitching. his head flops to the side slightly, half-lidded eyes looking down at you and watching your every move.

you lean in and lick the side of his shaft a few times before pressing your tongue against his tip and swiping it several times. his salty pre-cum coats your tastes buds, making you feel more excited.

you rub your thighs together as the heat in your groin is unbearable at this point. you're desperate for some sort of friction and attention but you're too into pleasuring felix. with the way felix is right now, you know he is going to be selfish and chase his own high.

your free hand cups and caresses his balls. felix hums softly as you roll and squeeze them gently in your hand whilst kitten licking his tip.

“c’mon, baby. you know i need more than that.” 

you close your eyes as you wrap your lips around his tip. felix shudders and huffs a little, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. you gently suckle on his tip, swirling your tongue around it a few times before slowly lowering your head and pushing more of him into your mouth.

the corner of your lips feels stretched, mouth stuffed. you try to make your jaw slack but even that is a struggle with how thick and long felix is.

you struggle to put half of his length in, settling with a little under. you can feel his tip bumping the back of your throat and saliva is quick to accumulate in your mouth.

felix huffs and puffs, body shuddering and twitching. he reaches down and runs his fingers through your hair a few times. 

you start to bob your head slowly. your hand stroking what your mouth struggles to reach. the head and hand move in synch with each other, providing equally, if not more, pleasure to felix.

he feels the pleasure rushing through his veins and burning. his toes curl against the floorboards and his grip on your hair tightening with each suck as a way to keep him stable and grounded.

“...fuck … baby, m-more..” he pants.

you oblige, increasing speed and intensity. felix's moans become more intense and breathy. his body and mind failing to comprehend the intense feeling of warmth and wetness from your mouth as well as the coolness of your palm.

“... oh fuck.. yes… so fucking good…” 

this just encourages you even more. you remove your hand and place them both on his thighs for stability. you push your head further down his length until you can feel it down your throat.

you hold back your gag reflex, swallowing a few times to tighten your throat around him. felix lets out a string of incoherent moans and whispers. 

your jaw hurts. your lips hurts. your knees hurt and you can't breath but listening to felix whimper and crumble makes it all worth.

you feel him twitch in your mouth. his hips thrusting involuntarily. he's a mess and he's close.

his balls are tightening and his body is coated in a thin layer of sweat. the sensitivity of his cock head is overbearing. 

“don’t stop.. 'm close..” he struggles to say between his moaning. his strangled moans mix in with the sloppy, wet sounds of your mouth. 

he lowers his head, chin tucked into chest as he whimpers. a string of “fuck” leaves his lips as he grips onto you. it doesnt take him long. his cock twitches in your mouth, hot fluid coating your tongue and throat.

felix whimpers and whines, huffing and puffing. his body twitches and jerks. you help him ride out his orgasm before slowly pulling away. 

you look up at him, making eye contact as you swallow. felix shudders and strokes your swollen bottom lip, saliva collecting on the pad of his thumb.

“you did good, yn.” with felix's help, you rise to your feet. the numb feeling of pain on your knees becoming more noticeable now that your legs are outstretched.

“does this mean i’m forgiven?” you mumble. felix nods and strokes your hair gently.

“sorta.” you look at him slightly confused. “my birthday isn't over just yet, yn.”

“true… so, what do you want?” 

felix takes you by the hand and drags you to the bedroom. he gently throws you onto the bed, stripping himself of his clothing as you lean on your forearms and watch.

“i want so much more.” he purrs as he crawls onto the bed, towering over you and kissing the shell of your ear.

“i’m a greedy man, yn. you should know that a blowjob is not nearly enough to satisfy me.”

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Lessons in Love.

Bucky didn't believe in love at first sight. Then he met you.

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings - None

Word Count - 3615

Author's Note - hello gorgeous people, hope you're all doing well. writing this has made my heart so full, and I hope it makes you feel the same. requests are always open and more than encouraged!! currently working on a stunning jake seresin request that's just so lovely. i'm SO open to more jake requests, but also any marvel, top gun maverick, criminal minds, narcos and any others you have in mind!! just send them over, and I'll see what I can do. as always, so much love x

Masterlist. Requests.

“No way. How is that even possible?”

You look at the bewildered man in front of you and can’t help but smile.

“It’ll play anything you want it to. Anything in the world. Just ask it!” you encourage, beaming grin still plastered on your face.

“Alexa,” he says tentatively, “play Marvin Gaye.”

The first notes of Trouble Man begin to sound through your apartment, and his eyes light up. He’s looking at you like you’ve discovered something completely revolutionary.

You laugh – a real, genuine, delighted sound that flows through Bucky like a beam of light, illuminates his bones, makes his heart beat that little bit faster.

Grabbing your notebook, you delicately place a check next to Number 26 – voice-controlled devices. Number 27 is air fryers. Number 28 is Bluetooth. Number 29 is kindles and e-readers. Number 30 is Doordash. You’ve already checked off Spotify, and ATMs, and Google, and online banking, amongst many others. A list of things to better integrate Bucky into the 21st Century. A list of things to make him feel less like a man out of time. A list of things that allow you to spend all the time with him that you can.

A warm hand on your left hip and a cold one on your right pull you back into reality.

“Dance with me.” he murmurs. “Let me teach you something, for once.”

Before you can process his words, he’s gliding across the kitchen with you in his arms. Trouble Man isn’t playing anymore, instead replaced with something slower, richer. Bucky hasn’t taken his eyes off you, not even for a second. He’s watching your every move, every expression, every twitch of your lips. Reading you like a book.

You bring your hands to rest around his neck, and he relaxes into you. He’s leading, swaying you gently, occasionally twirling you like a ballerina in a music box. Perfectly effortless. He’s good at this.

The sun is setting, casting a warm orange hue across the kitchen. The light is reflecting onto your hair, making you glow, giving you a halo. Angelic, he thinks. My guardian angel.

You close the space between your bodies, wrapping your arms around his middle. Resting your head on his chest, he prays you can’t hear how his heart is working overtime. You shut your eyes, and breathe him in. He smells faintly like the Bakery, like sugar and coffee and cinnamon. The place that started it all.

　            ⋆ 　　 .  ✵　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 

When Bucky first moved into his apartment, he’d noticed the Bakery down the street immediately. The smell of cake and coffee drifted out of the lilac colored door, enticing him in. He resisted the urge, and told himself that he’d go inside tomorrow.

The next day, he stood outside of the red brick building, and read the menu on the noticeboard carefully. Then he reread it. And then read it again. Since when was coffee so complicated? And don’t even get him started on cake. He swore there was only a few types back in the forties. Now, there was at least fifty different kinds on this menu alone. He was overwhelmed. He thought he’d be able to walk into this Bakery, get some coffee, maybe something sweet, and leave content. Instead, he's stood on the sidewalk on the verge of a panic attack. Tomorrow, he thinks to himself. I’ll go in tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes. Every day, he takes a walk, and purposely passes the building that he longs to go into. But somehow, he can never find the courage. He knows he’ll just look like an idiot if he walks in. He’ll look lost, and out of place, and everyone will laugh and mutter. Look, they’ll jeer, The Winter Soldier can’t even order a coffee.

And so, he spares himself the pain. Lets his feet carry him past, only slowing down slightly when he passes the lilac door. Every day for three months, he takes the same route. Willing himself to go in, to find the courage. It’s just coffee, he tells himself. Get a grip.

Until, one day, you decided to change his life, unknowingly. Or maybe knowingly. He’s still not sure.

He takes his usual path, and just as he gets to the lilac door – you’re there. Stood, waiting, soft smile on your face. Bucky panics, and wills his feet to move faster, to take him away from this inevitably awkward situation. You stop him before he can make a run for it.

“Hi.”

Oh. You’re talking to him. You’re staring into his soul with no judgment, or fear, or trepidation. You’re staring into his soul with gentleness. Kindness. Friendship. He’s terrified.

“Uh – hi.” He rubs the back of his neck. Nervous habit.

“So, uh, I hope this isn’t weird, or anything. But, I’ve been watching you walk past every day for like three months, and, well…” you trail off. Now you look nervous. “Actually, I haven’t really thought this far ahead. I just see you, and I wanted to… invite you in, I guess? Not that you need an invite, of course not, we’re open to everyone, but… you always look like you’re going to come in, and then you never do. And I’ve been telling myself for months that I should properly invite you in, but now I’m realising this is, uh, really weird. And I’m sorry.”

You still have that gentle smile on your face, but it’s more tentative now. A dusting of pink is making its way onto your cheeks, and Bucky thinks it might be his new favourite color.

It’s now that he really starts to take you in. Your hair is blowing slightly in the breeze, and the sleeves of your sweater are pulled down over your wrists, to try and keep the New York chill at bay. You have bright, inquisitive eyes – eyes that contain hope, love, laughter. You make him feel almost peaceful. No one makes him feel like that. Damn.

You’ve stepped closer to him now, to get out of the way of the customers making their way through the door. You smell like sugar, and coffee, and optimism. He wants to breathe you in, let you settle in his lungs. A comfortable warmth spreads through his chest.

He decides to take a gamble and bear his truth to you. He’s not sure why, but he trusts you. He doesn’t trust anyone, these days. But he trusts you.

“Can I be honest with you?”, he asks, looking at you expectantly. You’re almost expecting him to laugh in your face at the absurdity of it all. You nod anyway, signalling for him to continue.

“I’ve been trying to work up the courage to come in. But every time I try, I just, uh-” he stutters, and you can tell that his mind is screaming at him, sounding alarm bells, begging him to stop with all this sudden vulnerability.

“It’s overwhelming, right?” you ask, cutting him off. Saving him. Guardian angel.

You see the relief in his body at your question. His fists unclench, the tension leaves his shoulders. He smiles bashfully. Half grateful, half embarrassed. You get it.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. You giggle, and he’s convinced that the melodious sound will circle around in his mind forever, like the Earth orbiting the Sun.

You fiddle with the strings of your mint green apron, and look at him. You’re gazing at him so earnestly that he’s worried he might spontaneously combust.

“Are you busy tonight?” you ask suddenly, and he feels so dizzy he’s concerned momentarily that he’s going to pass out.

“Uh, no. I’m not,” he replies, managing to force the words out of his mouth.

“We close at 6, so meet me here at 7.”

You still have that sparkle in your eye. He couldn’t say no to you if he tried.

“Why?” he queries. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t absolutely petrified at the turn the conversation has taken.

“I want to show you around. Maybe make you a coffee, introduce you to some of my favourite things. You won’t believe how good my raspberry and white chocolate cookies are. They’re best sellers for a reason,” you beam at him.

Beaming. He wonders how he’s lived his whole life without your light illuminating his universe. Anywhere he goes without you is going to feel so dark, he thinks. How did I ever live like this?

He manages to pull himself together to smile back at you. His first genuine grin in God knows how long. He’s forgotten what joy feels like, and he’s almost drunk on it now.

He agrees to your plan, and you turn on your heel, about to make your way back inside.

“Wait!” he yells, louder than intended. “What’s your name?”

Your lips turn up into a smirk, mischief seeping out of your pores.

“Come back at 7 and find out.” You wink at him, and he has to take a few deep breaths in order to stay conscious. With that, you leave him alone on the sidewalk, where he’s silently thanking the universe for dropping you in his lap. Finally, he thinks. The cosmic punishment is over.

He does come back at 7. In fact, he’s stood outside waiting at 6:45. He can see you mopping the floor, singing as you go. His supersoldier hearing allows him to listen to your voice, even from this far away. He’s never been more grateful for the thing he used to call a curse. He’d be cursed every damn day if it meant he got to listen to you like this.

At 6:58, you appear at the lilac door, beckoning him to follow you inside. He knows that stepping over that threshold is going to change him fundamentally. He can’t wait.

Upon entering, he’s hit with the smell of cinnamon, sugar, coffee, and you. A beautiful mix of all three. Without a second thought, he reaches out with his right hand, and gently brushes some flour from your cheekbone.

“Bucky,” he murmurs.

You can’t tear your eyes away from him. Lips slightly parted, chest heaving, it takes you a minute to register that he spoke.

“What?” you ask, dazed by the handsome stranger with the steel blue eyes.

“My name,” he speaks softly. “It’s Bucky.”

You smile knowingly, and take a deep breath. It’s overwhelming, meeting someone that you know is going to be in your life forever. You’re both feeling the same, neither of you sure just quite what to do.

You grab his left hand, sighing quietly in relief at the feeling the cool metal against your heated skin. Leading him gently, he lets you guide him through the front of the store, until you stop behind the counter. He’s convinced he’d let you lead him anywhere, as long as he gets to feel your skin, soft and warm, on his. Grounding. Comforting. Easy.

“What kind of milk do you like?” you ask, fingers still intertwined with his.

“There’s more than one kind of milk?”

Bucky looks so disorientated, that you want to kiss the confused expression off his face. You chuckle softly, and the sound bounces off the metal in the room, twinkling around him.

“We have cows’ milk, oat milk, almond milk and soy milk.” You take one look at him, and decide to change course. “Let’s start with something less complex, actually. Any allergies I should know about?”

He shakes his head, mischievous grin beginning to form on his handsome face. There he is, you think. He’s with me.

“I’m going to make you a latte. It’s milky, and not too strong or too sweet. I think you’ll like it.”

She thinks I’ll like it, he muses. And he trusts you - whether it be with his life, or just a cup of coffee.

You reluctantly let go of his hand, and begin to flit around, gathering everything you need. Bucky leans back against the counter and watches carefully. He watches the way you bite your lip when you measure out the milk. He watches the way the steam from the coffee machine blows your hair back from your face gently. He watches the way you’re trying to make everything perfect. He can’t remember the last time someone paid attention to him like this. His mind is telling him to sprint in the opposite direction, to excuse himself and never come back. He’s terrified. But he stays. I deserve this, he thinks. I deserve something good.

You pull him from his thoughts by handing him the mug of warm coffee. He takes it from you carefully, and, without breaking eye contact, takes a sip. He smiles, really smiles. That’s all the validation you needed.

“Let me show you where we bake everything,” you say quietly, as if you’re afraid to burst this bubble of warmth and trust you’ve created. You’re scared he’s going to bolt if you give him the chance. So, you don’t. You take his hand once more, and guide him through to the kitchen.

“Have you done much baking in your life, Bucky?”

No, he thinks. But I will. I’ll bake everyday for the rest of my life if it means you’ll love me. If you’ll make me coffee and smile at me like that.

Instead, he answers cautiously.

“Not really. I’d like to, though.” He adds that last part bashfully. You smile back at him earnestly.

“Well then you’re in the right place,” you wink. He has the overwhelming urge to drop to his knees. To pray at your altar. To worship you like an angel sent down just for him. He’s surprised he’s still stood on two feet.

Before he can even register what’s happening, you’re beginning to create a mixture for your infamous cookies. You direct him to stir, while you add meticulously measured ingredients into the bowl.

“Put those arms to good use,” you’d smirked, and a blush had risen up to his cheeks almost instantly.

You click the radio on, and a soft, jazzy melody begins to drift through the room. You’re humming quietly, gliding around the kitchen, and he decides that this is it for him. You’re it for him. He could watch you do this every day and die a happy man.

Cookies baking in the oven, you jump up to sit on one of the counters. Bucky moves to stand in between your legs, still being careful to keep his distance ever so slightly. He knows if he touches you, he won’t ever want to let go.

“This wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be,” he confesses.

“What, me?” you tease.

“No. Coffee. And cookies,” he chuckles.

“Are there lots of things that you haven’t done because you find them scary?” you ask genuinely. You want to know him. All of him. Fears, wants, quirks. All of it.

“Yeah, actually. The world is so different now. I don’t really know where to start. It’s all terrifying, honestly,” he laughs. You laugh with him, but you know there’s truth to his words. You want to wrap your arms around him. He may be 6 foot tall and made of solid muscle and vibranium, but you want to protect him.

“Why don’t we do it together?”

A pause. He’s confused again.

“Do what together?”

“All of it. The learning. I’ll help you. Everything is less scary if you do it with someone else.”

It’s now that he’s convinced he’s dreaming. You can’t be real. Why would you be here, offering him everything, after all that he’s done? He has to remind himself. I deserve this. I deserve something good.

You can sense his trepidation, so you keep talking.

“Why don’t we make a list? You write down the things you want to learn about. I’ll write down other things I think you should know. You’ll be an expert on the 21st Century before long, Buck.”

Buck. The nickname sounds like a gift coming from your lips.

“Okay. Yeah. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

The anxiety is coming off him in waves. He’s panicking. You grab a hold of both of his hands, and place one on each of your legs, just above your knees. He steps in closer, and takes a breath. You’re warm, and you’re soft, and you’re love personified. He’s okay.

“Of course I don’t mind. I’m excited!” you assure him. Then, quieter, “It means I get to spend more time with you.”

He aims a beaming, megawatt smile in your direction. He feels as if his nerve endings are alight. You’ve awoken something in him. He’d forgotten what it was like to feel like this. To feel alive.

You reach over and grab your notebook. In it, you simply write his name, followed by a love heart. Then, underneath, you begin to list everything you can think of that you want to teach him. You hand the list to him, and he adds his own requests. Between you, you manage to write 50 different lessons.

“Perfect. We’ll start with number one, and work our way down. Are you busy tomorrow evening?”

He chuckles at your eagerness, but secretly, he can’t wait. He knows he’ll be counting down the hours until he can see you again.

“Nope, I’m not. You are my only priority, sweetheart.”

The term of endearment seeps into your skin, settles in your ribcage. You’re convinced it’ll warm you up from the inside out. If he keeps calling you sweetheart in that Brooklyn drawl of his, you’ll never be cold again.

　            ⋆ 　　 .  ✵　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 　 ⋆ 　　 .  ✵ 

You’re not sure if you’ve been swaying in your kitchen with Bucky to Marvin Gaye for 2 minutes or 2 hours. You’re comfortably settled into him, as if the space in his arms was made especially for you. Maybe it was.

Bucky’s voice breaks through the solitude.

“You know, I’ve created my own list,” he murmurs against the top of your hair, where he’s resting his head.

You pull back, still in his arms, to look at him carefully.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Read it, and tell me what you think.”

He untangles himself from you and crosses the room, to retrieve his leather-bound notebook. He returns, and places it carefully in your awaiting hands.

You flick open the cover to reveal the first page. You recognise his handwriting instantly. It’s spiralling, and imperfect, but so Bucky. At the top of the page, you spot the title – your name, with a love heart next to it. Exactly the same as you’d done for him when you’d originally created your list together.

Underneath your name, only one thing is written.

I love you.

You look up at him, to see him watching you, holding his breath. Neither of you know what to say. You know what you want to say. You want to tell him that you hope the list never ends, so you always have an excuse to spend time with him. You want to tell him that you watched him walk past the door of the Bakery every day for 3 months because you thought he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. You want to tell him that every time he looks at you, you feel as if you’re going to pass out. You want to tell him that you can recognise him anywhere, by touch or smell alone. Instead, you say,

“You do?”

That genuine, million dollar smile is back, etched on his face. He’s glowing, light radiating from his bones.

“Yes. I do. I think I’ve loved you ever since I saw you waiting for me on the doorstep of the Bakery that day.”

You think you might be floating. Levitating above ground, fuelled by love. You laugh.

“That’s the exact moment I fell in love with you.”

He laughs with you, then. You could get drunk off the sound.

“I didn’t think love at first sight was a real thing. I thought I was going crazy,” he confesses.

He’s convinced that the two of you have discovered something, invented it even. Because he doesn’t understand. If love feels like this, so all encompassing, so consuming – how does anyone live? Every moment of every day, Bucky thinks of you. How does anyone go to work? How does anyone ever feel sad, or angry, when love like this exists?

You drop the notebook and cross the room to him. He closes the gap, and throws his arms around you, spinning you in circles, laughing with joy. He sets you back on your feet, and tilts your chin up, so you’re looking into his steel blue eyes. You could drown in the ocean of his irises if he let you.

He leans down, and presses his lips to yours. He’s giving you all of the love, the joy, the laughter – everything good that he has ever felt, because of you – through his kiss. Your knees go weak, and he holds you up by your waist, his strong arms encircling your frame. He tastes like coffee, and sugar, and promises. You’ll never want to taste anything else.

Eventually, you break away for air. You gaze up at him, and he sees sunshine in your eyes. He’s not sure what he did to earn a love like this. You seem to sense his doubts creeping in, because you say, in the most assured voice he’s ever heard –

“No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you.”

I deserve this, he thinks. I deserve something good.

[nickfowlerrr]

Bellllaaaaa hiiii:)

I’m hooked on biker/bartender bucky(even tattoo artist bucky) with fucking Tats right now and I’d totally love if you could maybe write him and chubby/plus sized reader having a flirty relationship, maybe they’re like a fling or something. She works at his bar/tattoo shop, whichever au you pick, and they’re just fucking flirty and so naughty together lol

Smut is always welcomed!!

Thank u bby in advance<3 mwahhh🥺💋

about how it started..

pairing: bartender!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. pining. flirting. smut. a little tiny hint of voyeurism/exhibitionism. if i’m missing something pls lmk!

words: 3.1k

notes: thank you, mickey, for sending this and sorry it took so long! i kind of wanted to incorporate more mention of his tattoos but i felt like i kept screwing it up so i kept it very vague - i’m sorry. but i hope you like this! i really love the idea and i’d love to do more with them in the future, too (including more of his tattoos too 🥴), so thank you, thank you, thank you!! 🥰

also this gif isn’t necessarily the bucky i was picturing but the visible tattoo feels right so whatever 😌

i hope you guys enjoy this! thank you in advance for reading and reblogging. as always, feedback and comments are always welcome and so appreciated! 🖤

You know you should be checking tables right now. You know. But goddamn if you can’t take your eyes off of the brawny, blue eyed, six foot something beauty that is Bucky Barnes.

You’re leaning against the far end of the bar, eyes fixed on him with no plans of trailing anywhere else.

He’s making another Sex on the Beach for the less than subtle, leggy, bleach blonde who’s been fawning over him since she got here. When she and the other college girls showed up, seeming to have already been pregaming, you knew tonight wouldn’t be uneventful.

You could obsess over the fact that the twenty one year old, who looked like she stepped right off a runway, was currently pushing her chest out and twirling her perfectly styled hair as she continued rambling on and on to Bucky, but his disinterest was clear to you as he kept a polite smile and entertained her as he finished the drink.

That, and because you had no right or reason to obsess over who was flirting with him and when.

Right?

You pushed the thoughts away as you admired Bucky’s profile. The way some of his hair had fallen out of his bun and hung around his perfectly sculpted face. How his brilliantly blue eyes shone still through the dark strands. And god did you envy his perfectly shaped nose. Your eyes fell to his lips as he smiled at something the girl said, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care, you were so caught up in the beauty of it. He gave her the drink before he tucked the loose hair behind his ears.

You watched as the girl held out a twenty with a sultry smile and a wink before Bucky took it with a small laugh as she sauntered off back to her friends.

He put it in the cash box and then pushed up his sleeves as he took the time to count out how much the bar had made so far tonight.

You swear your mouth went dry as his tattoos were on display now. The dark ink that told story after story lining his forearm, and though you couldn’t see them right now, led all the way up his strong arm only added to the endless list of things that made him attractive. The artwork was mesmerizing. Just like him.

“You just gonna stare at me your whole shift, sweetheart?” he says to you without looking over, a smirk playing on his lips.

You take in a breath before pushing off the bar and walk over to meet him where he stands.

“Who says I was staring at you?” you question and lean over just slightly to glance at Torres who was pouring shots at the other end of the bar.

Bucky turns to follow your gaze and gives a laugh when he sees who you’re referring to.

“You and Torres, huh?” he plays along, smirk never faltering. He finishes his count and tucks the box back under the bar before he turns fully to you, blocking your view of the younger man completely, not that you cared.

Bucky walks into you, backing you up until you’re forced into the dead corner of the bar. You nearly stop breathing when he leans into you, his cologne invading your senses, his warmth surrounding you as he keeps you trapped between him and the bar, his thick arms on either side of you. Your lips part on an inaudible gasp when his lips brush against your ear.

“He know I was guts deep inside you last night? How you were screaming my name, begging me not to pull out? So fuckin’ desperate to be full‘a me,” he reminds you as his hands find your waist and he squeezes your softness before pulling you flush against him and letting his hands slide down to your ass. “How many times did you come again? I think I lost count,” he taunts as he leans over you and gropes you shamelessly.

You can see out past his shoulder as he nearly nuzzles into your neck, your eyes growing heavy with desire as your lips stay parted in heated awe.

Your eyes meet the blonde Bucky had just served as she looks on in a bit of a stupor before blinking and turning away with a hint of a blush warming her cheeks.

“Watch it, Barnes. You’re gonna lose out on tips if you’re not careful,” you warn playfully, if not a bit breathily.

When he starts kissing your neck, your knees become unsteady as a warmth starts to grow in your tummy.. and lower. Your hands latch onto the front of his shirt in an effort to stay steady.

You’ve noticed he’s been getting more brazen every day, more teasing and touching when he knows full well people can see, and the fact that he really doesn’t seem to care sparks a bit of hope that maybe this could grow into something more than what it started as.

But as Bucky nips and then gently kisses your pulse point, all thoughts fly right out the window as your main focus is solely on not melting into a puddle right then and there.

“Don’t care,” he says against your delicate skin, placing another kiss to your neck before you push him back just slightly. “What?” he asks as a half smile adorns his face when he stands up straight again, looking down at you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish right now,” you say as you hold his smoldering gaze.

“You think I won’t fuck you right now?” he challenges, his seriousness sending a thrill up your spine.

You let out a nervous, disbelieving laugh as you push him to turn around. “I think you have some patrons waiting for your attention,” you say, ignoring the desire burning deep within at his words.

He sucks his teeth as he walks back over to the lively area of the bar, but not before eyeing you with a look that promises he isn’t done with you tonight.

You watch him back before spinning around and coming out from behind the bar to start checking tables.

—

You’re leaning over a newly emptied table close to the bar when you feel his heavy gaze on you.

The low cut scoop neck of your top already offered a generous view of your cleavage, but as you’re leaning over to wipe the table down, you’re sure he can see right down your shirt. You hide your smirk as you walk around the table and make a show of leaning over once more, your tight black skirt that hugs your tummy riding up your thick thighs as you do. You’d forgone underwear under your opaque black tights and wonder for a second how much he can see as you bend further over the table.

You don’t have much time to wonder as suddenly Bucky is right up behind you. You stand up against him, your ass brushing against his crotch. His hands are on your skirt as he adjusts it back down for you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, voice low and husky.

“Cleaning a table,” you answer innocently as you stay where you are, enjoying the feeling of his large hands on your wide hips and his solid chest at your back.

“Yeah? Cuz from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re purposely being a little tease.”

“Me?” you say in faux offense, turning to face him. “I’d never. Just doing my job, boss.”

He pushes you back against the table just slightly, “So, you’re telling me you haven’t been thinking about how hot it’d be if I came up behind you, ripped your tights open and fucked you stupid right here on this table?”

You swallow hard as you feel yourself growing wet at the scene that plays out in your mind. The bar is near empty as you’re both getting ready to close up but the idea of Bucky taking you right here and now, onlookers be damned, has heat creeping up your skin.

“Say I have. What are you gonna do about it?” you whisper wantonly, eyes swimming with lust.

A sinful growl escapes him as he presses himself closer to you. You can feel his growing bulge against you and it takes everything in you to not let out the whimper that threatens to slip past your lips.

Joaquin left twenty minutes ago after him and Bucky served last call, so it’s just you two and the lingerers who are slowly making their way out.

“What am I gonna do about it?” he repeats as his hand comes up to hold your chin. He leans down, face to face with you as he continues headily, never taking his eyes off yours, “I’m gonna fuck you stupid. Right here. On this table,” he breathes each sentence before he finally takes your lips in his. It’s gentler than you expect as your eyes flutter shut and the sound of the entrance door closing behind the last patron signals that you’re alone now.

You sigh into his mouth before you pull him closer, the kiss growing more heated with each moment that passes.

You let Bucky ruck up your skirt as your hands fumble with his belt before you start working on his button and zipper. You stop him for just a second, grabbing his hand, “You rip ‘em, you buy ‘em,” you tell him, earning a grin from him.

“Deal,” he says before easily tearing your tights and turning you around, forcing you down against the table.

“No underwear, huh?” he taunts as he rips your tights even more, his thick fingers wasting no time in playing with your wetness on full display for him.

Your legs are spread as you moan at the delightful feeling of his fingers pushing into your sex, opening you up for him as he scissors his fingers inside your tight heat before curling them the way he knows you like.

“Fuck, Bucky, please,” you whine as you clutch onto the table, pushing your hips backs and trying to fuck yourself on his hand.

“Jesus, fuck, you’re perfect,” he swears before landing a stinging slap to your ass and pulling his fingers out. He quickly tugs down his jeans and frees himself from his boxers, his erection hot, heavy, and throbbing.

“Make me so fuckin’ hard, you know that?”

You only mewl in response as he runs the head of his cock through your folds, teasing you. He doesn’t have as much patience as he normally does, though. He’s been thinking of you nonstop since you left his apartment this morning. Been wanting you close again from the second you left his bed.

He knows this was just supposed to be a fun fling, but from the first time he kissed you, he knew he was done for. He knew he’d only want more.

And he was right.

He wanted all of it with you, not just sex. He wanted to spend his days cuddling you in his bed, watching movies, talking about nothing; hell, he even had to stop himself from texting you the other day to see if you were busy when he had to go get groceries because he wanted your company.

He was hooked on you completely.

But this “fling” was your idea and he didn’t want to run you off with the idea of commitment so soon. So for now, this would have to do. And who was he to complain about the nights he got to spend flirting with you, teasing you, taking you apart only to put you back together in his arms come morning.

He’s pulled from his thoughts as the head of his cock catches along your slick entrance, a hiss emanating from him as you gasp at the feeling.

He slowly lets himself push in, deeper and deeper until his hips are flush against your ass and he’s filling you completely.

Your soft moans urge him on as he begins to fuck you, the sound of his hips slapping against your ass filling the quiet of the empty bar. As he starts to thrust harder, the squelching noises of your fucking grow louder and louder as you moan without care, your hips hitting the edge of the table over and over with his every thrust.

His hands frame your waist as he holds you tight, rutting ever deeper inside of you, his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly as you whine and gasp in pure pleasure, the coil in your belly tightening with each glide of his cock along your walls and every nudge against your g-spot. Bucky slips a hand down and finds your puffy clit, circling it as he feels you getting closer, your walls squeezing him tighter and tighter.

Your toes are curling in your shoes as your feet arch and slip against the floor when the muscles in your legs and core tighten and strain as your walls clench down on his thick cock and your orgasm hits you hard.

In the same instance, Bucky growls as the swinging of the entrance door sounds. You don’t even bother to look up as you’re lost in the euphoria of your high.

“We’re closed,” Bucky barks, his hips never faltering as he continues to fuck you while your eyes screw shut in overwhelming pleasure.

You vaguely hear a fumbling apology and the door closing once more as Bucky buries himself inside of you, leaning over your bent body and rutting into you as his groans and moans tumble heavily from his lips. With one more thrust, you sigh breathily as you feel him spill inside of you.

The weight of his body on top of yours is a comfort you can’t help but revel in as he holds you still and gets all of his release out, your velvety walls milking his cock as he fills you with his hot come.

He’s breathing heavily as he comes down from his orgasm and gently pulls his cock out of you. You instinctively press your legs together, your thick thighs making it easy. You push yourself up off the table after a moment and turn around, fixing your skirt as you do.

“Fuck,” you breathe under your breath happily. “Maybe lock the door next time?” you suggest playfully, “Or, at least turn the ‘OPEN’ light off.”

“Next time?” Bucky says with a raised brow and a smirk as he fixes his pants. “You like getting fucked in the bar that much?”

“Well, you did say something about fucking me stupid.. And not that that was bad at all, but, I’m not feeling very stupid right now.”

He licks his lips as he takes you in, taking your hands in his and tugging you close. “Why don’t you come home with me and I’ll get you there,” he says smoothly.

“That’d make it three nights in a row,” you say, a little unsure. “You sure you wanna risk it? I might not wanna leave.”

“I might not want you to,” he says, surprising you by how soft and sincere his voice is.

You meet his eye and swear you could drown in the glimmering blues as he smiles that schoolboy smile. You let out a shaky, nervous laugh.

“You fallin’ for me, Barnes?” you tease playfully - just a hint of hope laced in your tone.

He surprises you again as he takes hold of your chin, peering deep into your eyes, before he brushes his nose against your, his lips inches away from your own as you breath each other in for a second.

And then he kisses you.

Soft, yet firm and as you lose yourself in it, a deep yearning for Bucky that you’ve kept down from day one rears her head once more.

You part for a second to breathe before you crash your lips into his again, pulling him closer to you by the front of his shirt.

Your tongues glide against one another as he slips his in expertly before kissing you deeply.

He lets his forehead fall to yours as he parts from you.

You're breathless as he wears a nervous smile you’ve never seen on him before.

“Say I have. What are you gonna do about it?” he repeats your earlier taunt, trying to hide his anxiousness as he waits for you to respond.

You suck your lip as you consider him, biting back the smile threatening to take over your face.

“I’d tell you that, maybe, I’ve fallen for you, too,” you admit shyly, looking up to see his cocksure smile back in full force, just the way it always is.

“Then I’d tell you to take me back to your apartment,” you say, leaning into him for another sultry kiss. “So you can fuck me stupid,” you breathe against his lips, “as many times as you want.”

You nearly squeal as you're taken off your feet in the next second, Bucky’s strong arms holding you securely as you wrap your own around him.

“That I will happily comply with,” he says, kissing you hotly as you smile into it. You pull away just slightly to speak.

“We didn’t finish closing,” you laugh.

“Don't care,” he says, kissing you again as he easily walks to the bar, holding you with surprising ease that you aren’t sure you’ll ever get used to before he sets you down. “We can do it tomorrow,” he excuses, grabbing his keys from behind the bar and flicking the lights out. You grab your jacket and bag from the shelf you kept them on and follow behind Bucky as he locks the doors, escorting you out and to his car.

Before you get there, he turns on you, both of you stopping in your spots.

“We really doing this?” he asks, wanting to make sure this is really what you want, too.

You smile and nod.

“Yeah,” you whisper.

He lets himself smile in return.

“So I can call you mine, now?” he asks, grabbing your hand, pulling you to him.

“I’d be good with that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“You sure? Cuz once we make this official, I’m gonna let everyone know. I might never shut up about it.”

You can’t help but laugh at how excited and proud he sounds. “I think I’m okay with that,” you smile up at him, meeting his lips in another kiss before he leads you to the car and opens the door for you to get in.

You know you’re okay with that. It’s what you’d been hoping for from the first time you’d kissed, for this to lead to something real, something more. Now here you were.

He wanted to officially call you his, and Bucky was finally, truly yours.

[munsonsfairy]

I always see bbf abby but never sbf, so maybe older abby x friends little sister (of age of course, like about to graduate college) 🕺🏽 reader is visiting her sister and she sees abby type thing idk

Btw, your work is amazing 🙂‍↕️🩷

love me tender ✨🐚🤍🌸🐠

author’s note: thank you so much! i appreciate you for reading and sending in a request. i hope you enjoy! thank you for @katemartinis for proofreading. 🤍

abby wants say yes to heaven, say yes to you, and let fear she has fall away. you thought you were only a lost memory to abby until this summer. now, you’re standing in front of abby in the rain with shoes full of water staring at each other.

content: fluff with angst. summer before graduation. 18+ no smut. no specific descriptions of reader but is feminine.

word count: 2.2k

The salt air coming in from your open window cools your skin from the summer heat. You're lying on your bed watching season three of stranger things as you always do at the start of summer. Or at least you were watching it until your best friend, Jackie, came over. It's the summer before your senior year and you’re trying to soak up every bit of it before you graduate.

You and Jackie made a list of what you want to do this summer consisting of tanning to getting matching tattoos to trying out surfing. Luckily you live on an island making it easy to complete. today you wanted to check off going to the aquarium off your list. While you were going through your closet for an outfit, Jackie was talking about a boy she swears she’s in love with after knowing him for two weeks.

Finally, you found the dress you were looking for. You always felt your best while wearing it and thought your skin glowed with the color. you stood in front of the mirror in awe.

Downstairs, you hear the door slam and someone yell to your mom that they’re hungry.

It's your older sister, Sarah coming back from volleyball practice. You both might be lesbian, but someone was definitely dropped too many times as a baby. You hear your mom greet Sarah and someone else.

“Well look who it is. my favorite Anderson!”

Abby. Anderson.

She's your sister’s best friend and also plays in the same volleyball team. You've had a crush on since you laid eyes on her. The way she carries herself and listens to you always filled you with butterflies. making eye contact with her blue eyes made you dizzy. Her love for books makes you wish you didn’t get so flustered around her so you could ask her about what she’s currently reading.

There was something about Abby that had your heart wanting more. she always knew how to pull you in. Unfortunately, she was off limits. your older sister made you promise you wouldn’t complicate things and ruin her friendship, but it takes two to tango. the stolen glances and subtle touches can only last so long before Sarah gets suspicious. Neither you nor Abby have confessed any real feelings, but it was enough to raise red flags for Sarah.

You feel yourself getting nervous at the thought of seeing her again. You haven’t seen Abby since last summer since she wasn’t home for Christmas. the four of you camped out together at the beach since the weather was more tolerable compared to summer. Sarah and Jackie fell asleep, so the both of you laid down next to each other looking up at the stars. Abby was a nerd when it came to constellations. She pointed out every single one she found, then it got quiet letting you only hear the waves crashing.

You felt at peace and closed your eyes to take it all in. Abby turned her head and admired you as she always did. The next morning, you woke up to Abby holding you close to her chest; her breath tickling your neck. You look up to see the blonde deeply sleeping. Her eyes lashes so long and freckles covering her skin. Being an early bird has its perks when you wake up before your older sister sees you cuddling her best friend.

Your reminiscing is soon interrupted by your older walking into your room eating a sandwich and laying on your bed with Jackie.

Just in record time, Abby comes behind her but doesn’t go into your room. Instead, she leans against your doorway focusing on the one person.

Through your mirror your eyes made eye contact with the bluest eyes you’ve seen. her freckles covered her sun kissed skin. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest making her arms show off for you.

Abby’s eyes rake over your body, drinking in every curve before meeting your eyes again. She tried to be discreet but couldn’t help but admire you.

She thought you were glowing and couldn’t believe such beauty existed, but you always proved her wrong. She loved way your eyes crinkled with your laughed at her joke. Oh my god she thinks I’m funny. Those were one of the few times she saw your true personality.

SAY HI IDIOT. Abby’s mind screamed at her.

“Hi.”

Her voice filled with honey and softness. You feel your knees get week and feel a shiver run through your spine. Abby notices and smirks then looks away to let you breathe.

You mentally kick yourself for not evening answering. It's one word!! two letters!! stupid stupid stupid!!

Thankfully, your sister and Jackie were too busy in their own world to notice or so you thought.

“I’m sure it would be fun if Abby came with us!” you turn to Jackie with wide eyes who is smiling knowing what she’s doing.

𓆉⋆.˚ 333 °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

Since Sarah and Jackie went to the reptile exhibit, you and Abby stayed on a bench admiring the open ocean exhibit. Reptiles weren’t really your thing. The blue hues fill from the water paint the walls. It feels like the fish are moving in slow motion. You're in awe of the two stingrays swimming together it almost looks like they are dancing.

Although, the sea creatures were beautiful, Abby couldn’t focus when she felt your arm touching hers, or your hands brushing against each other when you were walking next to each other earlier. If only you knew how it took everything in her not to reach for your hand. she has been this close to you before but today felt different. The peace she was feeling was something she wouldn’t be able to put into words.

“Do you think seals have spots?” Abby asked as suddenly.

“Hm?” You missed her question when you turned to look at her. you feel a little embarrassed by how she can easily throw you off.

She laughs, “Do you think seals have spots? Owen swears up and down he saw one spotted. He says saw one and I haven’t heard the end of it. Not saying I want to prove him wrong but…” She trails off.

“Oh, definitely. Have you considered researching your question? I mean you do know how to use your phone, right or do you need assistance?” You laugh at her.

Abby playfully rolls her eyes, “You think you’re so funny, huh? I personally would love to see this seal in person.” She shrugs.

You laugh but this time Abby fully sees you. She wishes she could freeze time and just look at you forever. To make you laugh and smile every day.

“Do other people think you’re funny?”

Abby looks towards the fish tank shaking her head but still smiling, “No, they don't.”

For a moment you didn’t let your nerves hold you back, so you squeeze her bicep, “Let me be the first to tell you that you are very funny.”

You lay your hand back down to your lap, but Abby reaches for it and holds your palm up. She traces the lines on your hand and finally decides that it’s now or never.

It felt like she was on Saturn, and it was only the two of you. Nothing else mattered. All of her nerves were gone. It felt like a dream, but the warmth of your hand reminded her it was real.

“You're staring,” you whisper.

“I like looking at you,” Abby whispered back smiling.

Abby raises her hand reaching for your cheek. Her thumb gently rubbing your soft skin; scared to break you. She drags down her thumb to your lower lip sending a shiver down your spine. The world slowed down for the two of you. Abby admired every detail on your face just in case this was the last time she was this close. She could smell the coconut perfume you spayed earlier. She knew what color your eyes were, but they were so much better up close. Her eyes flickers from your lips to your eyes. Abby felt herself leaning towards you as if it was the most natural thing.

“Oh, are we interrupting something?” Jackie asked smiling.

Out of fear, Abby dropped your hand and pulled away from you. “N-no,” she stands up quickly and walks in front of you away from the group. Luckily, your sister didn’t see since she was walking a bit behind Jackie. The rest of your time at the aquarium Abby avoids looking at you after that. It's all gone.

𓆉⋆.˚ 444 °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

The car ride home was filled with tension. Abby had barely said a word to anyone. You sat in front while she drove back to your house staring at the raindrops that filled the window. Summer might be your favorite season, but hurricane season makes you wish it was over already.

You finally got the confidence to look at the blonde next to you and see nothing but an emotionless face. Her eyes aren’t the same blue you saw earlier. They look empty. Abby must have felt you staring because she sighed and made sure you heard it.

Your brain replays what happened earlier over and over like a record player. There was never a moment where Abby looked at you the way she did right now.

After what felt like hours, she drove into the driveway of your house. Your sister and Jackie quickly got out of the car leaving you alone with Abby. You felt a knot in your stomach and don’t feel words come out when you open your mouth. Out of habit you anxiously pick the skin on your fingers.

“Wanna come in? I think we’re going to order some pizza. Sarah always orders way too much food for us to finish,” you ask trying to break the tension.

Abby clears her throat, “Uh, I can’t tonight. rain check? I’m pretty tired it was a long day.” Her eyes never met yours since you were at the aquarium. You missed her blue eyes filled with love. Now you couldn’t tell what she was feeling.

“Oh sure! We have the whole-.”

“I think it’s getting late don’t you think? I’m sure they’re waiting for you,” she interrupts. You hear the irritation in her voice and almost leave, but you needed to ask her why she changed her attitude in a matter of seconds. You really thought today was the day you’d finally tell her what your heart feels. How you much you find her funny and think she deserves to have someone love her.

“What changed, Abby? I know it wasn’t only in my head what happened earlier, or did I imagine it?”

Abby sighs and looks towards her fingers, “You didn’t imagine it, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be together. We're just good friends and I don’t think it’s the best thing to do. I mean what will you sister think?”

Her heart beats for you but she could never admit it to you. She's watched you go from relationship to relationship to break up to break up. yet, she can’t get the words out to tell you.

You scoff, “Just good friends, huh? you’re so full of shit, Abigail. I mean you were there! was I the only one who felt the feeling?”

“What feeling,” Abby asked confused.

“You know! the feeling! The feeling you get before you kiss someone for the first time. The excitement, anticipation, and butterflies in your stomach. The way your heart flutters when you finally kiss the girl you love!” You were talking so fast and just ranting now that you didn’t even notice you confessed your feelings to her.

“Wait what?” Abby was shocked but knew she shouldn’t be. She was there and so were you.

“Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here explaining this to you and expecting you to understand. Just next time, don’t look into a girl’s eyes and say you like looking at her if you’re planning to be an ass.” You open the car door and start running to your front door without getting soaked by the rain.

It took Abby two seconds to finally realize the girl of her dreams is running away from her. Abby ran out of her car leaving the door open without a care.

“Do you really want to know how I feel?!” she yelled out.

“I’ve never loved anyone like you! I’ve never felt so much peace before in my life! Everything about you consumes my being it’s frightening. This love I feel for you is so beautiful yet so scary. If choosing you means that I am losing your sister as a friend, then fine!”

You felt like your heart was beating so hard as you stared at Abby trying to process everything.

“And you couldn’t say all of that in the car, Abigail!? I have water in my shoes, I’m cold, and we-.”

Abby grabs you with both of her hands and kisses you. It takes you a couple seconds to process and kiss her back. Your eyes fluttered closed and you felt everything happening all at once. Her lips are softer than you imagined and so familiar. Your hands move to her braid making her moan into the kiss and letting you slip your tongue inside. She wrapped her arm around your waist bringing you closer to her.

“Wow…” you were breathless with your eyes still closed. When you finally opened them, Abby was smiling and looking into your eyes. She leans in again and whispers, “Can I do that again?”

[noneorother]

All the music you didn’t hear: The Good Omens soundtrack is lying to you. *Part 1*

The Bonkers Meta Series part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I so rarely get a chance to misuse my experience in classical music, but here we are. When I realized on my most recent watch-through of the series that the David Arnold score was brilliant, but also really wonky in some parts and I couldn’t put my finger on why, @embracing-the-ineffable suggested I listen to the album soundtrack to compare.

And when I tell you what I found hidden in there, you’re going to need Eccles cakes...

1) The Song is the Clue

So right up top we have this banger. The 12th track on the album is the orchestral backdrop to the scene in the Job minisode where Aziraphale reveals Crowley’s crow/goats. The duration is 2:22 (the only track with multiples on the album), and if you look at the track by itself it doesn’t mean much. But the song just before it is actually from this fucking scene:

You know, the one where there’s a song that’s a clue to a mystery. Except Clue is capitalised, and Aziraphale pronounces it. I’ve seen guesses that this is a reference to the movie Clue, but I would put a lot of money on the fact that we are supposed to read the title of the song currently playing at that moment in the show *as a Clue*, which is super convenient, because the word Clue is capitalized in the track listing. 

Seems like the overlords of Good Omens have a message for us : The song is the Clue. It’s what God wants. Cool cool cool. WHAT SONG?

2) Symmetry in all things 

Before I straight up tell you, we have to go back and look at season 1.

Now I’m far from the first to notice tons of parallels between the story, details and even lines in both seasons. It got me thinking that maybe there are some fun synch-up parallels between the two season’s soundtracks, seeing as they are both 6 episodes long. Here’s the end of S1 and then S2

Oh that’s a bummer, I thought to myself. 

They don’t even add up to the same number, or playtime, and neither of them is exactly 60 tracks. But do you want to hear a secret? S2 is actually missing 3 tracks on the album. And because there are 2 discs in S2 (cute), the numbers of the tracks start over again from 1. Remember how much God likes sevens? Check out where all the weirdness is happening in disc 2 (I’ve added the missing track listings in red to add context):

After checking each track with the show and listening side by side (for reasons that will become clear in another post) I can definitively say that there is something *very weird* going on at the end of episode 4. 

First is track 7, Zombie dressing room, which seems to actually reach over two distinct scenes of the photo evidence in the dressing room and then Shax in hell even though it only has one title.

But *between* these two scenes we get an eerily silent wine date with Aziraphale & Crowley.

There’s really no music or even sound here besides the dialogue and room tone (until after the cheers), and it seems like a very intentionally silent version of a ritz date from season 1.

My best guess is that we are supposed to divide that track into two tracks of 7, before and after the date to get a second track 7. Or maybe the silent one is missing music? The third track number 7 is the weirdest one. It’s this scene here, when Nina parks her bike, and Aziraphale parks the car at the end of S2E4.

If you take a close listen to the music, it’s a jaunty little piece, with an oom-pah base in 3 ⁄ 4 time. The thing is, this music does not exist in any Good Omens album. Please feel free to correct me, but I’ve tried to find any part of any song that this could even be a reprise of, and I Shazammed it to be sure it wasn’t anything else. This song does not exist anywhere except in this scene. (It quickly morphs into a reprise of the original theme once Nina leaves Aziraphale). It’s an invisible song.

So we have 3 tracks at the end of S2E4: a long one, a silent one and an invisible one. Only one of which is numbered 7, but that all fit into that place in the track listing.

Which, when we add the two extras to the original total of fifty-nine we get... sixty-one! Hey wait a minute.

How are we going to get to 62?

3) The real missing track. 

So the real reason we had to go back to the S1 album was because it contains the missing track that God is talking about. Let’s compare the last tracks on each album.

I’ve highlighted the mismatch between the in-show music and the album in S2, which means I had to add A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square back into the S2 album because guess what, it’s not in the S2 album. Even though it plays in the show. 

You want to know how not in the album it is? Amazon had to track it in the show as a season 1 song. They had to give Tori Amos credit for her song on Good Omens in the X-ray bonus features because that’s how not in the album this song is.

So my fellow beings, if the song is the Clue, then It’s what God Wants.

And if God wants a happily ever after with Aziraphale and Crowley on their own side, then by Job, I think Neil is going to give it to her.

-----------

And there's more where that came from! Part 2 coming shortly.

[batri-jopa]

"Currently"

Since I've already been tagged by both @figuringthengsout and @notasapleasure I should finally do something about it🫡

favorite color: recently it's yellow💛💛💛 Juicy mango type of yellow the most. Often combined with black and white because I enjoy looking like an oriole:

last song: Tina Turner - GoldenEye

last movie: Mask (1994) (and maaan how I never suspected I would look at Stanley Ipkiss as a relateable character when I grow older...😅)

currently reading: Romans na receptę - another one of few books by Monika Szwaja that my mum borrowed in our local library. I like her style and it breaks my heart that she died being only 65🥺 There's always so much hope and friendliness and support in the world that she's depicting. And, fascinating enough, there's usually AroAllo woman representation somewhere and depicted in the positive way! Of course it is not called "aromantic" by a polish writer born in 1949, more likely for the main male character to call that "AroAllo" woman character a "robot" who "uses him as as a sex toy"🤭 - BUT nevertheless even the male protagonist really likes her, appreciates her skills as loyal assistant, treats her as good friend to confess his problems to and genuinely wishes her all the luck!👍 In other books you can expect other queers occasionally too (like a teenage son who turns out to have a boyfriend), but it's always in sympathetic and realistic yet bringing-back-faith-in-humanity kind of way🫠

currently watching: umm... nothing actually (I feel like a weirdo😑 Like maybe I should start watching sth finally just so I could fill in the meme next time around? I do have a lot of series on my "to watch list")

currently craving: MANAGE TO GET SHIT DONE!💪 seriously I need either only 2 working days a week instead of 3 or... better time organisation😩 (so what that I have 4 "free" days a week now when there are emails to answer and books to read, and my pictures to make into album, and family members to visit, and all the new pictures' ideas to draw, and new tumblr posts to create, and those fic-WIPs waiting for so long already, and... I wonder if scheduling everything in precize days and hours would help me to feel more organised somehow?🤔 or only feel more remourse for not being able to follow the schedule?😑)

tea or coffee: Oh, so glad you asked! Tea please, black, strong, no sugar, no milk. Lemon appreciated but not necessarily. Thank you!🫖☕️

Tagging: @zorilleerrant , @chrisoels , @swordoftheseeker , @kaiaprax , @imaginatorofthings , @parttimereptile , @corey-m13 - some of you won't play probably so I'm just saying a friendly "hi"👋

[sugarushwriting]

fratboy heeseung part 3 and he redeemed himself with you…a little too well

nsfw

not proof read

reblog, like, comment

do not repost or translate please

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

heeseung couldn’t help but watch you as you slept. in his bed.

it was a first, but the smile never faded.

it was currently 3 in the afternoon and you were still sleeping, being worn out from…earlier activities with him.

after he helped you to the bathroom, he brought you back to bed giving you 3 more orgasms. 2 by his tongue and fingers, 1 by his dick.

you literally tapped out telling him he’s redeemed himself. rightfully so.

his response? “i haven’t even had you against the kitchen counter yet. or in the shower. or in my car. or—,” he listed on and you legit groaned in anticipation at having him in so many positions.

“i thought you didn’t do seconds? let alone, thirds, fourths,”

“it’s different with you.” he stated with a shrug but didn’t offer a why or how.

a little after the third (technically 6th) orgasm, and you falling right to sleep, heeseung called jay.

jay, sunghoon, sunoo and jungwon all were out eating.

“what should i do to help a girl after i made her not able to walk?”

jay started choking on his wine, sunoo patting his back. heeseung chuckled. the phone was passed to sunghoon as sunoo tried to help jay.

“where is she?” sunghoon asked

“asleep on my bed.” heeseung replied, and sunghoon was shocked but didn’t answer to it.

“warm bath, with epson salt. pain reliever. heating pad maybe.” sunghoon listed helpfully.

“where would i get epson salt and a heating pad?”

“jay uses epson salt his knee pain sometimes. i have a heating pad i use for my shoulder sometimes.”

after the call, heeseung did promise the guys it was safe to come home. before he went back to staring at you, your phone rang and he saw it was your roommate and answered.

“jinnie! i thought you were meeting me and soph for lunch?”

“hey lara, this is heeseung. um, eunjin is kind of sleeping right now,” his neck started to redden, “i, we, um,”

“i don’t need the details.” lara stopped him mid sentence. “do i need to come get her?”

“no she’s okay. i will make sure she calls or texts you when she wakes up.”

“thanks! take care of my girl.”

after that, heeseung went on a hunt in his roommates belongings to find the heating pad and epson salt. since he had the master suite, he had a separate shower and bath that would be perfect.

just as he was in the kitchen preparing some water for you, the door opened and jake and ni-ki walked in all sweaty.

“i’m sorry.” was the first thing heeseung said. “i apologized to eunjin, and we made up. she’s no longer mad at me. i will never talk to her or any other girl that way like that ever.”

ni-ki nodded with a smile.

jake pointed, “what’s with the ibuprofen, heating pad, and epson salt?”

heeseung’s neck started to redden with embarrassment again. jake noticed and his eyes went wide.

“you—eunjin,” jake chuckled, “so that’s how you both made up.”

ni-ki was lost. “huh?”

jake patted the youngest back. “why don’t we go back to your dorm and play some games with kai.”

jake led ni-ki out of the house, and heeseung took the stuff up to his room. you were still laid out on your back, and he smiled at how you were positioned like you were the outline of tape of a dead body. you were draped in just his shirt.

while you slept, he ran a hot bath, prepared the ibuprofen by the bed and laid out the heating pad.

he didn’t want to wake you, but he did need to make sure you were okay. just as he did that, the door to the house opened and closed and he heard the voices of sunghoon and jay.

“pretty, wake up.” heeseung shook you, and you slapped him away with a frown.

“give me a few hours before next round.” you mumbled.

heeseung laughed. “pretty, no worries, i prepared something else good for you.”

your eyes fluttered opened and met heeseung’s with a smile, then you frowned and sat up quickly.

“shit! what time is it?” you panicked looking at your phone. running a hand through your hair, you looked stressed, “dammit, i told lara i would meet her for lunch around 2!”

heeseung smiled at your panicked face at how cute you looked, “no worries pretty, i let lara know you were just a bit tired and would call her back.”

you smiled shyly. “thank you.” but then you got worried. you slept. you slept in lee heeseung’s bed. how was he not mad at you right now? or maybe he’s just being nice until he kicks you out?

“pretty,” he captured your attention, “i ran you a hot bath. sunghoon said it should help with your soreness.”

oh now you were embarrassed and your face went red as you put your face in your hands. great now sunghoon, and probably the rest of his friends know how much he wrecked you.

but then your heart fluttered hearing he ran you a bath. “i also got some pain meds and water for you.” he held two pain meds in one hand with a cup of water in the other and handed them to you. “i need to check on the water, i will be back.”

so you took the meds while he went to his en-suite and quickly sent a text to lara

you: i will tell u dets later!

lara: at least u r alive! if u need me to i will come get u <3

you were so thankful for lara. you peeped the heating pad that sat on heeseung’s desk. heeseung came out from the bathroom and helped you get out of bed.

“how’re you doing?”

“still barely able to walk.” you said. you literally felt like ariana grande’s song side to side except you couldn’t even walk side to side! how in the heck were you going to walk to classes next week?

heeseung pick you up with ease walking you to the bathroom. “mind if i help?”

“i don’t think i’ll be able to get in if you don’t.”

heeseung helped you with the shirt you had on, and then lifted you into the awaiting hot water, which felt so good on your body.

“fuck that feels good.” you moaned, unaware of how it affected heeseung as his dick twitched in his pants.

not now, he scolded himself. he had you wrapped around his finger, he has time with you.

“i’ll let you soak. call out if you need anything. i’ll leave the bathroom door cracked, but my bedroom door open.”

“i won’t drown.” you teased. heeseung dropped a kiss on the top of your head, and then headed downstairs to see his friends.

jay was putting away food he and sunghoon brought back from lunch. jake had joined them.

“when did you get back?” heeseung asked jake.

“while ni-ki and i were on his way to his dorm, we ran into the guys, so ni-ki just went on with sunoo and jungwon.”

“i brought back some food for you and eunjin.” jay said holding up some sandwiches and chips.

“she must be starving.” jake said with a smirk. “you know, from the intense workout you two had.”

heeseung smirked back. “and she agreed that i’m the only one she can have that intense workout with.” heeseung was proud how he got you to agree he was the only one allowed to make you feel that way.

he was the only one allowed to make you come. not jake, not jay, not sunghoon, but him.

jake pouted, “aww man!” he complained, his thick accent shining through. heeseung knew jake was joking, but also knew there was a slight chance jake was actually upset.

jay laughed, “how are you going to steal my wife? i thought she and i were ni-ki’s parents!”

as the boys talked on, you made your way quietly and slowly down the steps. the bath helped, but just a bit. you could walk, but not with big strides.

when you reached the living room, the floor creaked and all four boys turned to you. all with knowing smiles.

your body heated up with embarrassment. how much did they know?

heeseung smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown, going unnoticed to you. you had on your jeans and shirt that you came in with. why were you dressed?

“pretty, why are you dressed?” heeseung asked.

“well, i didn’t want to come down naked.” you replied.

“i wouldn’t have minded.” jake smiled and jay smacked the back of his head.

you blushed at jake’s comment. “jake don’t say things like that!”

“you could’ve put on a shirt and boxers of mine.” heeseung replied. “actually no, go put on some clothes of mine.”

“oh.” you twirled your fingers. “i also thought maybe, um, you wanted me to leave, soon?” you pointed to the door. “i can call a cab, or have lara come get me.”

“no.” heeseung said.

“no?” you questioned back.

“i can still see you’re limping and sore. you need more rest.” he said. he was not just going to kick you out.

typically he would with other girls. but that’s because he didn’t care for the other girls like that. he’s never wrecked them so bad that they couldn’t walk straight immediately after.

“oh, ok,” you said and added, “i can sleep—,”

“in my bed. with me.” heeseung finished. “now go change into some clothes of mine.”

you and heeseung stared eye to eye.

“eunjin, are you hungry? we brought back food for you and heeseung.” jay brought up breaking the tension. “go change and then come down and eat!”

you did just so. heeseung turned to glare at jake. “paws off pretty boy.”

jake laughed. “i think that’s up to eunjin herself, don’t you think?” he asked with a smirk.

“like i said, eunjin and i are already in agreement on that” heeseung said back.

jay and sunghoon did not want to be in the middle of this interaction. luckily you came back down sooner than expected in black boxers and a black oversized shirt of heeseung’s.

“perfect.” heeseung smiled and patted his leg. “come sit and eat.”

you winced. “heeseung,”

“i’ll be gentle.” he laughed and you sat carefully down on his lap.

“again, what the fuck did you do to her?” jake asked noticing the slight discomfort on your face.

“just embedded my teeth marks in her ass.”

again, jay choked on a bottle of beer he was drinking. “man i gotta stop drinking something around you when you talk!” he complained wiping his chin.

you were extremely embarrassed but had no energy to turn around and slap heeseung.

jay put some food in front of you and heeseung.

“pretty, remember how i cornered you in the bathroom at the party? and regretfully said that you just hooked up with me to get to the other 3 guys in front of us right now?”

this time it was your turn to choke on the sandwich. “how do you remember that? i thought you were too plastered!”

heeseung had all the boys attention now, “remember how you said if you wanted an in with my brothers that you wouldn’t have fucked me first?”

oh shit. you knew where this was going. “heeseung—,”

“who eunjin?”

“what?”

“which one of the guys here would you have fucked since i wasn’t your first pick?”

you shook your head, you didn’t want to answer but heeseung placed a hand on your thigh giving a squeeze.

“answer please.” heeseung demanded. he leaned into your ear, “or else.”

you wanted to bury yourself in a cave. “uh,”

“which one? it seems you thought of it before.” heeseung was becoming impatient.

“you won’t hurt any of our feelings sweets.” jake said from across from you.

“my feelings are already hurt.” heeseung pouted and turned your head so you looked him in the eye.

you sighed. “jay.”

all boys eyes went wide.

“jay?” heeseung asked quietly.

“boring jay?” sunghoon added.

“why him?” jake also added, basically all boys speaking over one another except jay himself. he was smiling and celebrating.

“finally, a woman chose me first!” jay hand pumped the air.

“calm down lover boy,” heeseung said and turned your chin once more to him, “now pretty, what did you promise me today?” he asked.

oh he had the biggest smirk on his face. “i—i,”

“i’m pretty sure you promised if you wanted—,”

“i promised that you were the only one to fuck me!” you quickly replied, your words jamming together.

you knew you had to say that because heeseung sure enough was going to repeat, every single word said in his bed.

“exactly. now boys, fuck off.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

after eating with the boys, you all gathered to watch a movie in the living room. you made sure to let lara know you more than likely wouldn’t be coming back to the dorms.

jay sat in one of the individual chairs, jake in the other. you actually witnessed jay telling jake to sit in the other chair so he would ‘behave.’

you sat near the end of one side, so you could lay your head comfortably on the arm of the couch. heeseung sat beside you, moving your legs so they were draped over his, and sunghoon sat at the other end of the couch.

everyone had separate blankets except you and heeseung shared one giant one.

sometime during the beginning of the movie, your eyelids felt heavy and you dozed off. heeseung’s fingertips ghosted against the skin of your thighs and legs.

“you sure did suck every bit of energy from her, huh?” jake laughed.

sunghoon and jay turned their heads to look at your sleeping figure, then looked at heeseung with a chuckled each.

“just made sure that my tongue and dick was the only one she ever thought of.” heeseung smiled.

“ok, so you ruined other guys for her, now what? did she ruin other girls for you?” jake stated. “heeseung, you don’t do seconds, so of course all of us are shocked. not only that, you let her stay over, in your bed, and letting her stay longer. i mean not that we don’t mind.”

“we just don’t want her to get hurt. she’s really important to ni-ki and became important to us so quickly.” jay added.

“you don’t do relationships, you’ve said it plenty of times. and eunjin isn’t someone to casually do anything.” sunghoon ended.

heeseung sighed as the guys were right. he did want to ruin other guys for you. mainly ruin any chance of his frat brothers getting their hands on you. he wanted to prove himself to you and himself in bed.

and he did.

so now what?

was he supposed to stop sleeping with other girls just because? he—he didn’t think he wanted that. could he be with you and you only? maybe. but he’s always said he didn’t want to be tied down to one girl in college.

“why did she even have a crush on me?” heeseung asked no one in particular. but he looked at jay, thinking maybe sunoo told him.

heeseung thought correctly as jay sighed.

“from what i was told by sunoo who was told by eunjin herself, it was freshman year.”

“huh? that long?” jake said in shock. heeseung and sunghoon were shocked themselves.

“probably saw how handsome i was and fell in love at first sight.” heeseung laughed but jay shook his head.

“actually no, she told sunoo when she first met you, she thought you reminded her of a hamster, or maybe it was a deer?”

jake and sunghoon started laughing.

“her crush didn’t evolve from your looks, it was how you treated people when no one else was looking. it started with her, she had dropped her books while walking in the rain because her bag had broke. she was having the worst day, you had saw her as she kneeled to the ground and yelled profanities to the sky. you gave her your back pack with no word at all and walked off.” jay spoke.

heeseung could barely remember that interaction. it was like, 2 years ago?

jay continued, “she saw you a week later at the library, and she wanted to approach you to thank you as she recognized you. but she didn’t because some girl had pulled you behind some books for a make out session.”

jay rolled his eyes. “she then learned about your reputation from some friends of hers. she said she started to observe you more often, becoming hyper aware of your presence on campus. she wasn’t noticing your frat boy and fuck boy behavior. it was the little nice things. like smiling at birds, complimenting a girl who had just been told by a group of guys she was unlikable, things like that.”

heeseung took in jay’s words. “apparently she has an old journal of observations she made about different people.”

“she did say she was good at observing people and had her own perceptions of us.” sunghoon said.

“well damn, what did she observe about me?” jake wondered.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

the next time you awoke was back in heeseung’s bed with his arm draped across your stomach. you saw a clock on his nightstand. 3:43 am.

you’ve slept saturday away. could one man really take that much energy from you.

you stretched your limbs and realized the soreness has went away. now do you leave? pretend to stay sore? sneak out?

you turned to look at heeseung’s sleeping figure. you didn’t want to hurt him, but you also wanted to protect yourself from heartbreak.

you knew his reputation, you got yourself into this knowing the crush would always be one sided. the feelings would be one sided.

you leaned in and kissed his lips, letting it linger. when you pulled away, you found him staring at you with a smile.

“well hello.” he stated and whew his morning voice literally had you wet….already.

“didn’t mean to wake you.” you giggled.

heeseung pulled you closer to his body. “it’s fine if you always wake me up like that.”

your heart fluttered. he cannot say things like that. he just can’t.

“let’s go back to sleep.” he sighed and kissed your forehead.

the next time heeseung awoke 3 hours later, you weren’t beside him. he sat up quickly looking around his room.

the bathroom was empty. maybe you went downstairs?

he rolled over to check the time on his phone when he saw a text message from you.

eunjin: this isn’t goodbye, but see you later. i need to think, heeseung. but thank you.

here you go again with the damn thank you.

you were literally driving this man insane.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[peterparkersnose]

Jealousy, Jealousy.

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2k

warnings: angst, jealousy, fighting, partial nudity, domestic violence and toxic relationship description, drunk reader, respectful Joel with a hint of pervert Joel

a/n idk why but when i wrote this i imagined the reader having a southern accent. optional if you want to apply it but idk. i don’t have one myself, i got my midwestern accent here.

summary Joel is jealous seeing Y/N with another man across the bar

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 7 mins 15 seconds

Part 2 here

Joel felt his shoulders slump. He wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was the alcohol fueling his emotions, but he really wanted to punch the douchebag that was hanging off your face. It was embarrassing to watch, the man was so drunk that he basically just licked your lips. But just as you do, you elegantly gave a small chuckle, reached your hand up to his cheek and rested your forehead in the crook of his nose. Your smile melted into his lips. At the same time across the room, your smile almost took Joel out.

If there wasn’t live music playing and people circling him on the dance floor, you could have heard Joel Miller’s fragile heart crack.

He couldn’t believe you were with such a douchebag. Why should he care? Why should he care?

He shouldn’t. It was a stupid crush. That’s all.

He wasn’t a jealous man.

“You alright?” Tommy asked, his energy taking Joel out of his trance. Joel grunted in response. “You seem like you ‘bout to kill Bradley over there. Blowin’ him up in your mind ‘n stuff.” Tommy chuckled. Joel didn’t say anything in response. “Is it because he’s sucking on Y/N’s face?” Tommy whispered in his ear, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you back the fuck up,” Joel spit at him.

Tommy walked backwards holding his hands defensively in the air with a smirk on his face. “Quit bein’ so obvious, big brother. Do something before you loose something.”

Joel turned back to look at you, but the two barstools were now empty. He hated imagining what was currently happening between the two of you. It made him cringe even thinking about it. His face scrunched as he began to feel overwhelmed by the bar scene of the night. He slipped out the front door and on to the porch of the bar.

Fresh snow fell and left a thin sheet of snow on the streets. He wasn’t sure if a storm was coming in, but he could definitely see himself early the next morning helping shoveling the streets.

He grunted as he sat back in one of the old rocking chairs. Cold calloused hands rubbed the sides of his jeans. The light from the windows peered outside, giving small reflections of the windows on the ground. The shadows of couples dancing displaying in front of his eyes made Joel long for something he hadn’t had in over a decade.

His thoughts dissolved him as he finished his drink dreaming of what could have been. He continued to mindlessly watch the reflections of the happy couples dancing.

The dancing seemed to slow suddenly, more violent and quick movements started to show in the reflection. Joel turned and peered in the window to see what was happening.

A large brawl of people seemed to be holding someone back. Mostly the most intimidating looking men and women who were scattered thorough out the bar had come together to hold back a person he couldn’t see. He turned his head and then saw you; Your hand was sprawled over your chest trying to cover the bit of shirt you had left. Tears had stained your cheeks as you watched the scene unfolding. Dina and Maria were at your side trying to keep you modest next to the bar. Joel caught a glimpse of your purple bra just as his attention was thrown back to the middle of the dance floor.

Bradley had let loose from the people holding him back. Joel darted quickly into the bar, almost as fast as Bradley’s hands went for your throat. It wasn’t even a second thought.

Dina let out a loud gasp as Joel’s fist plummeted into Bradley’s face. He brought up his arm for another punch but Bradley had already fallen on the ground from the first one. Joel shook out his fist. He hadn’t punched anyone in a while, Jackson was making him soft.

Joel smirked as he looked down at the pathetic man on the ground. “Better get out of here before I raise hell on ‘ya,” Joel said slowly, kicking him in the side as the man whimpered. “Go on,” he yelled, pointing towards the back door. Bradley scuffled on his bottom, looking up with pure terror in his eyes. Joel would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this.

Joel turned his back on Bradley and met eyes with you.

He took off his jacket without a second thought and handed it to you. He gave you an honest smile, trying to make you feel a bit better.

“You alright?” he asked. The rest of the bar was now trying to break the defining silence and go back to the flow of the night, but now the scene was just so awkward. Joel needed to get you out.

“Mhm,” you sniffled, shaking your head. “You wanna get out of here?” he whispered in your ear, helping you zip up his jacket on yourself.

“Mhm,” you repeated yourself, wiping a tear falling from your eye.

“You got it from here Joel?” Dina asked him. “I got her,” Joel said, wrapping his arm loosely around your waist. Dina trusted Joel with you, she knew there’s no way he could ever hurt you.

“You still living on fourth street?” Joel asked, shielding you from the cold. “Yeah but…” you sighed. “I-I don’t want him coming after me. Later tonight, I just know when he sobers up he’s gonna be looking for me.”

Your voice began to shake and Joel could tell you were genuinely scared. “You could stay at my place tonight. I doubt he would be comin’ around there any time soon,”

Your eyes met his as you looked up at him. “Really?” you asked, holding on to his bare arm. “Anything for you, darlin’.”

The snow had began to pick up as he opened his creaky front door.

“Come with me,” Joel said leading you upstairs. You looked at the pictures hanging on his walls going upstairs. You didn’t take Joel for an art guy. Apart from one picture with a much younger version of himself and a young blonde girl in it, it was just old art on his wall that was in desperate need of restoration.

“These yours?” you asked him. “Nah. Was in the house when I got it. Nice to look at sometimes though,”

“And the girl?” you asked.

Joel stopped half way up the stairs.

“Old friend,” he spit out. He took a deep breathe and turned around and extended his hand to you. Gracefully, you took it.

His room was most definitely a mans room. He scrambled over to the bed and pulled up his sheets quickly in an attempt to tidy up. “I-I wasn’t expecting guests,”

You stood and looked around his room as he rummaged through his closet. A pile of unwashed clothes sat in one corner. A few rifles and a bow sat on his dresser. He carefully placed his revolver from his belt next to them.

“Here, which one?” he asked you. He held up a red flannel or a blue tee shirt. “Hmm,” you questioned. “Can I borrow the flannel? S’pose to get cold.” you asked. “Have it if you want. I barely wear it anymore.”

That was a lie. It was his favorite flannel.

“I’ll bring it back, I promise.” you smiled, zipping off his coat. You almost forgot your shirt was torn into basically two strips of fabric lying on your shoulders.

Joel’s eyes shot up to the ceiling as you peeled off what was left of your shirt. “You got a trash bin in here?” you asked, holding the straps of fabric in your hand. “Uh, in the bathroom yeah.” Joel grunted, head still glued to the ceiling as he pointed in the direction of the closed bathroom door.

“Damn shame, I really liked this shirt.” you sighed from the bathroom. His gaze fell to his mirror reflection he could see from the bedroom.

Joel kept telling himself no but he couldn’t resist. Your skin had a few scars like his. It suddenly made his insecurities about those loosen up a bit. You had a tiny blood stain under your lip he didn’t notice until now. His eyes kept moving from your face to your body to the floor, trying to keep his perversions on the low.

“You sure it’s okay if I stay here?” you ask, emerging from the bathroom in his flannel. Something about seeing you in his clothes drove him crazy. This had to be a dream, there was no way this was happening. Y/N L/N standing in front of him in his clothes, tying her hair up asking permission if it’s okay for her to stay the night. Joel had to resist the urge to pinch himself.

“Uh, yeah. Make yourself comfortable. If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs.” he said nervously, dragging himself back in to reality. He was half way down the hallway when your head poked out of the door.

“Whatcha doin’ downstairs tonight?” you curiously asked.

“Sleeping?” Joel asked confused, a slight smirk appearing on his face.

“Oh no please. Take the bed, I-I can’t do that.” you insisted. Joel sighed.

“Well I’m not letting you sleep on my couch.” he bantered, placing his hands on his hips.

“I’ll sleep on the floor. How does that sound? I used to do it all the time as a kid and I-”

“Don’t be ridiculous Y/N. C’mon.” Joel sighed, re entering his room.

He folded back his sheets once again. He prayed there wasn’t any dirty socks or crumbs left in there from late night crackers. (JOEL EATS CRACKERS IN BED???)

The thought of sleeping on the floor left your mind when you saw how comfortable his bed looked. And it was.

Your face plummeted into a pillow, the alcohol in your system making itself present. “It smells like you,” you muttered into the pillow. Joel pretended not to hear that as he pulled the sheets over you.

He grabbed the other pillow and plopped it on the floor.

“Everything smells like you. The shirt, the bed. Smells like man.” you giggled.

His heart was beating so fast in his chest.

“You comfy down there?” you asked, your eyes appearing over the bed’s edge along with two hands adjacent to your head.

“Yup,” Joel sighed, placing his hands behind his head.

“Why don’t you come up here with me? I can’t let you sleep on the floor. I mean, I gotta respect my elders.”

Joel opened one eye at you and scowled. “Joke, joke! I’m only joking. I tell bad jokes when I’m tipsy.”

“Oh your tipsy alright.” he muttered.

“Please?” you whined.

Even as much as Joel wanted to he knew he couldn’t. You were very obviously drunk and was in no way able to give consent to anything. He was a true gentleman, what could he say? Even if it was as innocent as cuddling, he didn’t want sober you to regret anything.

“Not tonight Y/N. Come back sober and we’ll talk.”

“Promise?” you asked, rolling back over in bed. He heard his old frame creek as you did.

“I promise. Get some sleep, pretty girl.”

“He called me pretty girl!” you whispered to yourself a little too loudly.

As Joel drifted off to the sounds of your soft snoring, he thought to himself.

Was Tommy right all along? Did you really have some sort of feeling towards him or were you just acting this way because he brought you home and gave you a place to stay.

I mean, how often did he really interact with you. If it wasn’t a passing Hello when you were with Ellie or you switching off on patrol and asking how his went, there wasn’t much there.

He tried not to let his intrusive thoughts linger.

The one thought that did linger though was that Y/N L/N was asleep in his bed.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

Part 2 here

[bloatedandalone04]

➪the one where ethan makes you playlist of songs that remind him of you. (requested)

Warnings: fluff, ethan being a cutie and having the biggest crush on you, non-ghostface ethan, more fluff

Word Count: 1.8k | Ethan Masterlist

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

Ethan couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this.

Well, he could as he was still young and it had only been a few years since he had been in middle school. Still, the small crushes he had back then were nothing compared to what he felt now. 

His brain felt fuzzy, his heart sped up whenever those eyes met his own, he would break out into a sweat when he felt the brush of skin on skin. He had never had it this bad before.

And you were to blame.

Your sweet smile, your kind eyes and your bright and carefree personality. How could he not instantly be drawn to you?

Ethan was developing a deep crush on you, and at a rapid pace. 

He sat in his room, his laptop playing some rock band from its place on his desk while he was across the room on his bed. His thumb was beginning to hurt from his countless hours of scrolling through Spotify, subconsciously adding random songs to a playlist - every song in which reminded him of you. 

Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny.

Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts.

Compass - The Neighbourhood. 

Someone to You - BANNERS.

The list just goes on and he only decided to stop when he saw how long it had gotten, the top of the playlist reading ‘67 songs, 4 hr 21 min’.

God, he felt like a kid again. 

His last crush was brutal. Ethan never found the courage to ask the cute girl in his homeroom out, making that story end before it ever even began. He never even spoke to her. 

Thankfully, that wasn’t the case with you. 

Not entirely, anyway. 

He talked to you almost everyday, and that in itself was an improvement from his last crush. He even went out on dates with you…sort of. Group outings with Tara, Chad, Mindy and Anika counted as dates, right?

Either way, it was another improvement. If there’s one thing high school taught him, it was that sitting around and waiting for people to come to him was borderline useless; insert the name of the crush he quickly forgot about upon meeting you.

You; the cute girl in his econ class.

You; his sister’s roommate.

You; the girl currently walking straight towards him. 

Shit.

“Hey, Ethan,” you greet in your usual cheery voice.

He smiles back, hoping that he hadn’t gotten too caught up in his thoughts to the point where he was staring at you. He hoped that you didn’t come over here to call him out on it. “Hey,” smooth.

You adjust the strap on your shoulder, tilting your head to the side as you ask, “What are you listening to?”

His brows furrowed before he realized that he still had his earbuds in. Now he knew why your voice sounded so muffled. 

Quickly pulling them out, he stuffs the wires away in his pocket as he shrugs. “Oh, um, nothing. Just a playlist I made,” he simply said, applauding himself for being able to sound so casual when his heart was beating a million miles a minute. 

You nod, looking down at the tiled floor of the hallway. “That’s cool,” you trail off, feeling like you were bothering him with your sudden presence. Maybe you were overthinking it, but the way he talked made you think you were interrupting something, whatever that something was. The last thing you wanted to do was bother him.

Unbeknownst to you, Ethan didn’t think you could ever bother him.

He sounded so closed off just because he was having a hard time coming up with words, the effect you had on him quickly beginning to take over his whole body.

“Um, well,” you murmur and back away, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment at the short lived conversation. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

Ethan’s eyes widened as he watched you turn around. He mentally kicked himself for being so monotone with you and giving you the wrong idea. Fuck, of course he’d accidentally give you the impression that he didn’t want to talk to you when it was actually the exact opposite. “Hey, wait,” he called out before he was able to fully think it through. You turned around, a small, confused smile on your lips. “I actually wanted to show you something. I made it last night.”

You raise one brow and walk back over to him. “You made it?”

He laughs awkwardly, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Yeah, I was bored,” he answered and tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered at the sound of your laugh. “Can I see your phone?”

“Um, yeah,” you grab your phone from your back pocket and hand it to him, confusion still evident on your face. “How are you going to show me what you made on my phone, though?”

He smiles to himself at your cluelessness, putting in your password - he still can’t believe you trusted him enough to give him that - and going onto the Spotify app. “It’s a playlist,” he tells you and your face heats up for the second time. 

“Oh…right,” you nod. “I knew that.”

Ethan shakes his head and hands you back your phone. “I made it for you,” he says. “It’s full of songs that remind me of you.” He hoped you wouldn’t find his words creepy or weird. What was he doing?

You take your phone, tearing your eyes away from his to look down at the screen. It showed a playlist on his account, simply titled ‘For Her’. “Oh, wow,” you say quietly, scrolling through the songs before tapping on the heart icon and saving it to your own account. “Thank you, that’s really sweet.”

His own face heats up in a blush, his eyes meeting yours once again. “No problem,” he says just as quietly. “I hope you like it.”

You smile at him. “I’m sure I will,” your eyes briefly look at his lips before you back away again. “I’m running late, but I promise I’ll listen to it later.”

“No rush,” he calls out as you give him a final smile before turning around the corner. 

It was then when he could finally breathe again. 

-

Ethan hadn’t seen you in a few days. You were busy with work and studying and he had more than a few assignments he had to catch up on. 

You stayed true to your promise and listened to the playlist. However, instead of just listening to a couple of the songs and skipping over others, you listened to every single one. Over and over again.

Thanks to the app’s friend activity being on, Ethan was able to see that you had the playlist on repeat ever since he gave it to you. 

An undeniable feeling of happiness consumed every inch of him, filling him with a sense of pride. He was happy to know that the three hours he spent putting that playlist together weren’t for nothing. 

Thank God for Spotify and it’s weird but very useful features. 

Another day or so goes by before he sees you again, a warm feeling washing over him as you give him a smile that takes up nearly your entire face. “Hey, Ethan!” You greet him like usual, but this time you catch him by surprise as your arms wrap around his shoulders in a hug. “Thanks so much for making me that playlist. Some of those songs are really good.” You wanted to say all of them were good, but also didn’t want to come off as being too forward. 

“I’m glad,” he returned the hug and had to force himself to pull away after a few seconds. “So, I take it you like it?” He knew you did but he also wanted to hear you say it as well. 

“Of course, I love it,” you reply, feeling shy all of a sudden. You weren’t dumb, you knew what 99% of the songs were about - if it wasn’t obvious enough. Each one gave you butterflies, as did the title of the list. 

For her.

You could kiss him right here and now.

 “Good, that’s good,” he says and you try to fight off your growing smile.

“There were some really romantic songs on there,” you trail off, hoping to anyone that was listening that you weren’t reading too much into things. You’d die of embarrassment if you were to confess your feelings to him and have him turn you down. You’d probably cry if he were to say he just saw you as a friend. 

Ethan leaned against the bricked wall of the university, his forearm keeping him balanced as he raised it just above his head. “Only some?” He teased, knowing damn well that all of the songs were romantic in one way or the other. 

Relief falls over you at his voice, his teasing grin only making you believe your suspicions even more. “Okay, maybe more than some,”

Ethan’s smirk turned into a boyish grin at the way your face began to tint red. “More like all of them,” he smoothly corrected you, not entirely sure where the sudden boost of confidence came from, but not wasting a second of it. “You know, I meant it when I said they reminded me of you.”

You feel your face flush at his words, tilting your head down to stop your growing grin. “Yeah, I know,”

Ethan felt like he could fall over at any given second and he was glad his arm was currently doing a very good job at keeping him up right. Still, before he could lose the courage he rarely ever felt, he inched closer to you as he says, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something,”

You don’t dare move or speak or breathe as you wait for him to continue, your eyes never leaving his. 

“We’ve been friends for a while now, and it’s been great. Really great,” he starts and waits for any indication that he should shut up before he ruins something good. When you only slowly nodded, he decided to just go for it. “But I want something more. And I want it with you.”

Your eyes flicker all over his face, butterflies begging to be set loose all over your body as you process his words. Even though you had a strong feeling that you already knew what his answer would be, you still ask, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I really like you,” the butterflies had officially been released and your face heats up in both relief and happiness, overjoyed that your feelings weren’t one sided. “Would you like to go out with me?”

You refrain from screaming out a ‘yes’ and instead look down at the concrete you were both standing on. Slowly, you nod and don’t bother to fight off the smile growing on your face. “Yes,” you say and feel your heart skip a beat at the way his tense shoulders immediately lift, a grin taking over his own face. “Yes, I would like to go out with you.”

[studentbyday]

a september packed with purpose 🏵️ (goals for the 2024-2025 academic year)

an attempt to live a meaningful life even if it's really busy.

🎓 academic goals:

stay on top of my schoolwork. not feeling like i'm running after deadlines but staying organized, calm, and methodical, even if there's a lot.

change up my study strats! turn text into diagrams! shorter focus periods followed by an active break to ease myself into the semester!

study 8h per day or less if at all possible (for official schoolwork)

👩🏻‍🔬 career goals:

finish databases courses to increase my career capital (i sped read so good they can't ignore you this summer and it was both inspiring and practical - grateful for the feeling of having a roadmap...even if it's vague.)

do everything to become so good the lab i'm interested in joining can't ignore me (i have pretty much no current affiliation with them or their university so this is gonna be an uphill climb unless maybe i seem like a perfect fit...)

🌳 lifestyle and adulting goals:

develop a can-do attitude and work on my growth mindset

continue to practice driving at least 3x per week before it snows

become a 6AM girlie (or an 8PM girlie, if you're looking at the sleeping time lol) so i have a few hours of calm, focused silence in the morning which will minimize the amount of time i need to spend studying after dinner (planning to take advantage of the jet lag and the fact that the sun sets earlier in winter, making me sleepy sooner 😠)

re-gain some level of fitness to counter my couch potato summer habits and all the sitting i'll be doing this semester

🤸🏻‍♀️ more fun goals:

apply to volunteer with my local horticultural society and hopefully start volunteering soon (hoping to work on their newsletter as that's something i miss from my high school days! something familiar will also be good for easing into my "reintegration into society" era as a previously "studying hermit". perhaps once i get so comfortable i feel like i'm plateauing, i can branch into being a volunteer gardener! i have absolutely zero successful experience with plants, so it would be really nice to have some guidance from people who've made and maintained such pretty gardens in my community 💗)

make time for piano (ideally at least 1h 3-4 days of the week, but i will be happy if i even get to touch the keys for less than 1h of practice 3-4 days a week. if i can do this, then i can more reasonably justify getting a real acoustic piano at home and maybe even take lessons again when things get less busy...and i don't have to fear not making progress or even getting worse on the digital in the meantime because my fingers and brain get re-accustomed to the acoustic feel and sound options surprisingly, happily quickly even if i only get to play on one for a few days of a year, which is already quite a privilege 🥺🙏🏻 in the meantime, i need to maintain/improve my dexterity, sight-reading skills, and theory knowledge. i don't plan to read the theory book front to back anymore, i'll just read the bits i'm most interested in and maybe eventually that will mean covering the whole book but i won't start with that intention in mind 🤷🏻‍♀️)

sOmEhOw have the energy to comprehend even 1 duolingo lesson in japanese ~daily if only to one day get to a level where i can read more japanese books (and maybe even watch some animé without subs? no pressure tho since i'm very picky about animé 😂)

💭 nice to have but not pressing:

make it a habit to read a nerdy book or academic article that isn't directly for schoolwork to help me find my research interests, learn more about labs in my physical area, and/or re-ignite my passion for/sense of wonder with STEM and STEM-related issues 🔥

each week read something from suggested/recommended course reading lists if there are any

each month read a book completely unrelated to academics, something that distracts me or that feeds my soul or both (or if i can't do that, then just 1 such book each semester, i'm just after something rather than nothing)

🐝 productivity advice from one of my role models that i want to follow religiously this semester:

prioritize rest in order to think and act fast (10 hours of sleep! downtime! meditating! gentle exercise!)

schedule down to the minute but understand that as long as you're doing what you planned to do within the hour you planned to do it, you're good (that is assuming life doesn't happen and derail the entire day's plans but most days thankfully are not like that). give yourself lots of buffer (bigger, not smaller blocks of time in the calendar!).

understand that prioritizing means that you may fall behind in the unprioritized areas from time to time and have to catch up and that's completely expected and completely fine.

be selective about what you're "perfectionistic" with (it's not really about applying perfectionism, more like being picky about where you apply extreme conscientiousness). that is also part of prioritizing.

✏️ post schedule: 1-3x a week depending on time, energy, and what that means for my mental state 😅

[bbyquokka]

1:16 pm (hhj)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | timestamp, smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | established relationship, dirty thoughts, consensual distribution of sexual pics/videos, sex toys, little bit of nipple play

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 0.8k ~ (896)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 | this won in the poll i did a few days ago! i hope you all enjoy! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

he's bored. the meeting he is currently stuck in is boring. his eyes keep drooping, threatening to close whilst the tall coffee he got from the coffee shop is failing to do its job and keep him awake.

he's been cranky since the moment he woke up at five am. hyunjin wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with the person he loves, maybe even make love to you when you woke up.

either way, everything is irritating him, no matter how small or big it seems. his collar on his white shirt feels too tight around his neck. his blazer feels that it's constricting him. his suit pants feeling more and more uncomfortable as time goes on. 

he glances at his silver watch that sits on his wrist, groaning at the fact that he has 4 more hours of his superior telling him the same old stuff that he already knows. he knows the company needs to up their sales. he knows the company had a rough month last month. he knows because he looks at the numbers and puts it all together. because he was the one that made the superiors aware of how shit the company has been doing lately.

hyunjin's mind drifts to you. it drifts to this morning where he had to leave you. it drifts to how beautiful and ethereal you looked. your face all cute and smushed together. the duvet covering your body but somehow outlining your curves. the soft snores and whimpers of his name. the way you'd roll over into a more comfortable position and just flop on your back.

he wanted to ruin you. pepper your skin in kisses and bruises. caress your skin and your curves and listen to your sweet and beautiful moans in the form of his name whilst he watches your mind slowly cloud over and fill with nothing but thoughts of him.

fuck, hyunjin wishes he didn't have to attend this stupid meeting. 

as he listens to his superior drone on and on about useless information, he feels his phone vibrate. he frowns and pulls it out of his pocket, keeping it under the desk.

a message from you. he thought it was just a simple “good morning” message but as he opens it up, his eyes widen and throat becomes dry.

you sent him a video. a video of you bouncing on your clear suction dildo. you have your back to the camera so hyunjin can see everything so perfectly. the way the dildo disappears and reappears. the way your ass ripples with each bounce. how you lean forward slightly to give hyunjin that perfect view. unfortunately, his phone is on silent so he can't hear you but he can use his imagination.

he swallows thickly, eyes glued to the screen. his body heats up as tingles shoot all over his body and lay dormant in the pit of his stomach. hyunjin shuffles in his seat slightly, readjusting himself and crossing his legs to hide the growing erection 

hyunjin [7:30]: well, good morning to me i guess 🤤

yn [7:30]: good morning, hyun! 😇

hyunjin [7:31]: my love. you can't be sending me stuff like that. im still in a meeting! 

yn [7:31]: aw :( did you not like it?

hyunjin [7:32]: quite the opposite darling. i fucking loved it which is a problem when i'm at work 🫣

yn [7:34]: great! then you wouldn't mind if i sent you more stuff 😇😚

hyunjin audibly groans which causes heads to turn. he looks up, clears his throat and shoves his phone in his pocket.

“apologies. just family stuff.” the superior gives hyunjin a disgruntled grunt before continuing on with the meeting. hyunjin rolls his eyes, his mind now wondering back to the video you sent him and the possibilities of what's to come.

his mind wanders into a daydream. it wanders back to the video you sent him and how he wishes he was behind you, a handful of your hair and his cock replacing the dildo. how he wishes he could hear your screams and pleads for more. to see your body shake with intense pleasure and glisten with sweat. to see your knees bruise from the hardwood floor.

the more he thinks, the more he throbs. he adjusts and shifts in his seat for the nth time in a row. his hand grips and pinches his thigh as an attempt to calm himself down. he feels hot and wants nothing more than to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt (maybe use said tie to bound your hands behind your back whilst he fucks you)

his phone buzzes in his pocket several times. he takes it out and unlocks it, revealing the treats you’ve sent him.

pictures and videos of you naked and in lewd positions. driving the dildo in and out of your hole, teasing your nipples and looking so perfect; too perfect for hyunjin's liking. 

hyunjin [8:49]: you're a menace..

yn [8:50]: please come home. i need you 🥺

“fuck.” he mumbles before stowing his phone back in his pocket and standing up.

“i'm terribly sorry but i have to leave. family emergency.”

and with that, hyunjin leaves the meeting room in a rush. his only goal is to get to you – even if it means getting an earful from the boss tomorrow.

[goldfades]

Also 🍀 for the sweet angel azzi

Prompt: staying up late because you wanted to eat with them

BUT, it’s over facetime cuz they’re currently not in the same state.

-🐹

evangeline's 2.5k celebration !! [open!]

─ warnings | nothing but sweet fluff and long distance, nothing too bad

"THE GAME WENT good, were you watching?" azzi's voice echoed through the speaker as she ate her dinner, her phone propped up so you could see her through the facetime call.

the hotel room was dimly lit but you could still make out her beautiful features, and of course your heart was swelling at the sight (even if it was just through a phone).

you smiled, leaning closer to the screen as if it would somehow bring you nearer to her. "of course i was watching! you were amazing out there, az. i could hardly sit still."

azzi laughed, the sound warm and familiar. "thanks, babe. it felt good to be back on the court. how was your day?"

you sighed, shifting in your seat. "it was alright. busy, as usual. but seeing you play was the highlight. i just wish i could be there in person, but you know i have classes and everything."

azzi's eyes softened, and she paused mid-bite to look at you. "i wish you were here too. it's not the same without you cheering me on from the stands but i get it, school is more important. plus, i could feel your support through the screen,"

you smiled, feeling a surge of affection. "i'm glad. i'll always be cheering for you, no matter where i am."

azzi's eyes sparkled with appreciation as she smiled. "that means a lot to me, baby."

there was a moment of silence, both of you lost in your thoughts ─ you were both exhausted but being around each other made you a little more energized. you broke it first. "so, what's the plan for the rest of the night? more celebrating?"

azzi grinned. "just dinner and then probably some sleep. we've got an early practice tomorrow. but enough about me. tell me more about your day."

you hesitated, not wanting to bore her with the mundane details, but her expectant look made you relent. you knew she enjoyed it when you talked, she liked listening to you talk about anything.

"well, let's see. class were the usual grind. but i did have a weird encounter with jasmine — i'll have to tell you about it when you get back, it's a lot. and i've been thinking about some new places we can check out once you're home."

azzi's eyes lit up as she smiled. "i can't wait. we should make a list. somewhere with good food, definitely."

"oh my god, yes. maybe a new hiking trail too? we haven't done that in a while."

"sounds perfect," she said, a contented smile spreading across her face. "i miss you, a lot."

even though it'd only been a couple of days, it was hard for both of you to be apart. you were both so intertwined with each other's schedules, it felt weird to not have each other.

you nodded, feeling a pang of longing. "i miss you too, baby. but you'll be back soon!"

"yes! and then i'll have so much time for you and we can go out to eat then go hiking in the morning so we don't feel bad," azzi smiled finished her meal and set her plate aside. "i should probably get some sleep. but i'll text you first thing tomorrow, okay?"

"okay," you frowned, not wanting to say goodbye just yet. but you knew azzi was exhausted, she deserved some sleep. "get some good sleep. i'll be thinking of you."

"and I'll be dreaming of you," she replied with a wink as you laughed and shook your head in amusement. "i love you," she drew out the love as you continued smiling, feeling giddy.

"i love you too," you copied her voice as she laughed too.

the call ended, and you stared at the blank screen for a moment, the warmth of your connection lingering despite the distance.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[midnightechoes]

So this week is going to go down as maybe the most sapphic week in animation history. It’s going to have a great case, there are so many sapphic shows or shows with prominent sapphic couples airing this week.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s a quick rundown:

Yuri Is My Job!

Premiering on Crunchyroll on April 6th.

Yuri is My Job! is based on a yuri manga of the same name. It follows high schooler Hime, who cares deeply about her image as sweet and helpful, even though she’s actually selfish. She accidentally injures the manager of a cafe, and agrees to work there to make up for it. But this is no ordinary cafe, it’s like a cafe dinner theater where all the waitresses play characters from a fictional high school and act out skits for the patrons. Hime’s character is supposed to be in love with one of the other waitresses’ character, but she starts actually falling for the girl. Only problem is, behind the scenes the other waitress seems to hate her.

Yeah, that sounds kind of bonkers! I can already see the story now, Hime starting out playing a role, and eventually having to legitimately earn the love of Mitsuki.

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls’ Story

Season 2 premiering on Crunchyroll on Friday, April 7th

Ah Birdie Wing. If you saw season one, you know just how delightful wacky this show is. It follows the stories of Eve, a golfer that plays in illegal underground golf matches for the mob, and Aoi, a golf prodigy and the new sensation of the golf world. Their lives crash into each other and the chemistry is overwhelming and immediate.

Technically Eve and Aoi aren’t canon as of the end of s1, but it’s hard to imagine that the show isn’t heading in that direction. It makes no effort to hide the fact that these two are into each other.

I’m so excited to see what season 2 has in store for these two. Birdie Wing is just a delightfully weird little show.

Princess Principal: Crown Handler Chapter 3

Premieres in theaters in Japan on Friday, April 7th

Alright, so this won’t be useful to a lot of people reading this, as this is only premiering in Japan this weekend. But I wanted to mention it because (a) it’ll come over to the US sometime this year, and (b) Princess Principal is awesome and I want to promote it when I can.

Princess Principal was a 12 episode series that aired in 2017, and Crown Handler is a six-part sequel OVA series.

In a nutshell, Princess Principal is a steampunk spy thriller set in an alternate universe European kingdom that has been divided by a wall, Berlin-style. It follows a team of spies, masquerading as high school girls, as they try to prevent the two sides from going to war.

I know, “why is this on a list of gay shit?” Well, because it is. Two of the main characters, Ange and Princess Charlotte, are big-time into each other and while the original series does the anime thing of “we’re only allowed to go so far with this”, the OG series has a lot of intimate scenes between the two and does end *SPOILERS* with the two of them sitting on the beach together while holding hands.

And perhaps Crown Handler, being made years later, can finally take their relationship farther.

RWBY Volume 9

Volume 9 episode 8 airing on Crunchyroll on Saturday, April 8th

RWBY has been ongoing, and the current volume has been airing since February, but there’ll be another episode this Saturday. Right now RWBY is in the middle of dealing with a lot of trauma, BUT, the bees are canon and dating so every episode of RWBY is now officially gay. So says me.

The Owl House: Watching and Dreaming

 Series finale airing on the Disney Channel on Saturday, April 8th

I’M NOT READY TO LOSE THIS SHOW! 😭

*ahem* The third and final season 3 special airs on Saturday, and promises to be mega emotional and super gay.

I’m grateful that this show had a chance to finish its story, something a lot of sapphic media doesn’t get to do. But I am still pissed about it getting cancelled in the first place simply because it didn’t fit their “brand” (read: this show is too gay for Disney).

But I just know that Dana and her team put together a sensational finale.

Mobile Suit Gundam: the Witch From Mercury

Season 2 premiering on Crunchyroll on Sunday, April 9th.

Affectionately called G-Witch, season 1 of this show was a revelation in the fall. It follows the story of Suletta Mercury, precious cinnamon roll and the most talented mobile suit pilot around, and Miorine Rembran, daughter of the president of the Benerit Group, a mega-corporation that has massive political power.

The show revolves around a school that’s mostly full of the children of powerful people. And then there’s Suletta, a nobody that just wants to be a normal girl and have a normal school life but through a series of events ends up in a mobile suit duel that she easily wins, earning her the title of Holder, which makes her Miroine’s groom.

At first, the two treat the arrangement as a business arrangement, both seeing practical value in this arranged engagement. But it’s obvious that Miorine is actually pretty into Suletta from the start, and we see Suletta slowly falling for Miorine too.

G-Witch is incredible. Part awesome mecha fights, part political intrigue, part romance between two useless girls who’d rather die that admit their actual feelings.

I am SO EXCITED for season 2!

LGBTQ media hasn’t had it great as of late, with a ton of frustrating cancellations and it almost feeling like Hollywood is going backwards in terms of its commitment to giving us space to tell our stories.

But animation, both in the US and in Japan, seems to be making great strides, being our light in the dark.

All five of these shows are airing episodes this week, and Crown Handler will be in theaters this week and on streaming/blu-ray later this year. RWBY has been airing for weeks and its been the gayest volume yet. the Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady just finished airing and was wonderfully sapphic. I’m In Love With the Villainess is scheduled to air sometimes this year. And just maybe we might get Arcane season 2 before the end of the year.

I’m excited for how sapphic and yuri animation is progressing, I hope it keeps going forward.

[doyouknowthischaracter]

ABOUT

This is an attempt to find Tumblr's most (and least) recognizable fictional characters. Not the best, not the worst, not even the most tragic, simply the most (and least) well-known.

Options explained:

"Yes, I know them." -> You know this character's name, where they come from, you're familiar with their source material (or at least with the part they feature in), you could list some facts about them.

"I've only heard of them." -> You’ve seen them floating around, maybe you know their name or where they come from, but you haven’t watched/read/played/etc. their source material, you're aware that they exist but couldn’t say more about them.

"No, I don't know them at all." -> Self-explanatory. You have no idea who this is or where they're from.

SUBMISSIONS

❗ SUBMISSIONS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED ❗

Send in your submissions via this form. Please make sure you read the SUBMISSION GUIDELINES before sending something in!

Full list of accepted submissions so far HERE.

SUBMISSIONS TO BE POSTED: 800+ IN QUEUE: 100+, posting 6 times a day

STATISTICS

STATS SPREADSHEET — updated!

Following the link above, you can find an overall top of all the polls that have ended so far, as well as a breakdown by categories, each sorted by percentages and number of votes separately.

Other similar poll blogs HERE.

That's all, have fun! 🐰💚

[heartofwritiing]

I looked through your masterlist (I'm about to do some late night binge reading lmaooo) but I was wondering, because you have nothing in the dadbur section, maybe Wilbur with a pregnant reader or helping reader with their child (you can choose whether they're adopted or biological, thought to make in inclusive)

I'm probably going to be a bother in the future but... Can I be 🔗 anon??

Take care of you

paring: dadbur x pregnant!reader

Authors note: I love writing pregnancy fics they are such a comfort for me. so cute and domestic. sorry this took me awhile I was kinda struggling with what to write but i hope you like it anyways! This is crazy that you requested pregnant!reader because I currently have a Dadbur x pregnant!reader featuring Tallualh in my drafts, but it will be completely different from this! and yess I've never had an anon list before so I am excited you will be the first!

warnings: pregnancy symptoms, domestic fluff, short, not proofread, unedited!

Groaning as you stretch your limbs awake, you feel a sore pain in your tailbone. The weight of your growing belly was prominent as you slowly rolled your body to the edge of the bed so you could maneuver yourself up. It was never fun waking up every day with pain in different spots of your body, but no one said growing and carrying a human would be easy.

You were twenty-six weeks pregnant; every day was a blessing yet a curse. On the one hand, you had never been so elated to be growing a family with your boyfriend Wilbur, who when you told had never been so excited and happy. Swearing up and down he would be there to take care of you.

Wilbur had been your anchor through this new chapter of your life. He constantly checked in on you, ensuring you were comfortable physically. Always tolerant of your hormones and mood swings, and treating you with the most compassion and love you had ever received.

Once you had gotten up, you went to the kitchen to make some tea. You filled the kettle and placed it on the stove so the water could heat up, the clicking sound of the burner filled the room as a sudden taste reached your tongue.

The cravings you had gotten so far hadn't been so bad. Just bizarre things you usually wouldn't eat.

You suddenly felt a strong desire for celery with peanut butter, a craving that had become quite common for you. Your stomach began to rumble, a sign that you were hungry.

Rummaging through your pantry you located the jar of peanut butter and gasped with delight. As the kettle started to boil, you placed the jar on the counter and prepared your tea. Afterward, you searched the fridge for celery.

You searched and searched for the celery but nothing. Groaning, you shut the fridge, annoyed you grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer and settle for just the peanut butter for now.

As you sipped your tea, you leaned against the kitchen counter and scrolled through Twitter. Your feed was filled with videos from Wilbur's show last night. A giggle escaped you as a clip from a fan page played on your screen. Wilbur was bouncing around on stage like a golden retriever while 'portrait of a blank slates' instrumentals played through the speakers. You never got sick of seeing your boyfriend perform live on stage.

The front door to your apartment creaked open, and you saw Wilbur enter with several grocery bags. He kicked the door shut and toed off his shoes, leaving them by the coat hanger. He grinned when he noticed you standing there.

"Darling, I thought you'd still be in bed," he says.

He gazed at you with adoring eyes, taking in your tousled bedhead and his vintage Arctic Monkeys shirt draped over your noticeable belly. At that moment, Wilbur never felt so in love.

You shrugged as you watched him swiftly place the bags on the dining room table and quickly advanced toward you to give you a morning kiss. When he pulled away his hand rested on your bump, giving light rubs.

"I was cold and realized you weren't there so I got up," you pout.

" I'll remember to put more blankets on you If i get up before you,"

"Or just stay in bed with me next time," you suggest.

"That I could do," he replies and kisses you again swiftly. "How are you feeling?" His hands trail down your arms.

"Im alright, my lower back is killing me again." you grimace.

"What have we talked about, don't put so much strain on yourself darling." he chastised. "if you're feeling sore you need to rest."

Ever since you discovered your pregnancy, Wilbur has been a constant source of support. He's been avidly gathering knowledge, buying parenting books, and engaging in countless discussions with your doctor to ensure he's well-prepared to take care of you and your child. You knew he was going to be an amazing father with the amount of effort he was putting in.

"Wil, I'm fine, I am taking it easy like the doctor said but I can't stay in bed all day. I feel miserable."

He lets out a sigh of realization, acknowledging that he was being a little overbearing. You knew he always felt anxious about sicknesses and hospitals and found it difficult to control. Not just about himself, but for those he loved.

"I know you're just trying to look out for me, but it's too much sometimes I need room to breath."

You appreciated his protective and alert nature greatly, but at times it became overwhelming. It appears that he understood what you were trying to convey, as he gave you a look of apology.

""I understand. I just want to make sure you're taken care of," he admits. He would make an effort to avoid being overly fixated on your health.

You respond with a smile and nod.

"Now," he said taking the spoon from your hand, which you whined in protest. He took you by the hands and led you to the living room. "Sit on the couch, I'm gonna make you some breakfast."

Before you could argue further he ran to the kitchen and back with your mug of tea in hand as he hushed you.

Bewildered you sat there drinking your soothing cup of tea as Wilbur rushed around the kitchen. As he dashes around like a madman, his hair bounces with every step while grabbing things from various places. You hear primarily sizzling and the low sounds of him humming different songs that popped into his head. After he finished cooking, you observed him from the couch as he plated his meal and transferred it to a dish, and brought it over to you.

Wilbur had prepared French toast for you and seemed pleased with himself as he watched you dig in and sigh with delight at the taste of cinnamon and maple syrup.

You honestly know how you could live without him. He eventually came and flopped down next to you and enjoyed his own plate, chatting cheerily with you about random topics that came to mind.

Once you finished, he took care of both plates, sat behind you, and rubbed gentle circles around your lower back. The relief of the pressure being lifted was divine.

"That feels amazing," you tell him. Wilbur felt a sense of achievement knowing that he could make you feel better with just a simple touch of his fingers. His hands moved up to your shoulders, causing you to tilt your head back on his shoulder and close your eyes.

"Thank you, Wil."

You would have to remember to express your gratitude to him in some greater way someday.

Wilbur kisses your head tenderly and pulls you further against him. His hands move around to cup under your pregnant belly and lifted so gently to relieve some of the weight.

"Of course darling."

-

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