#thor: OR WE DO ANGST AND SADNESS

[thorfromwork]

⚡ @fortitudina liked for a starter

Thor had failed before on a fairly grand scale. Just look at the fact that Asgard as a planet no longer existed--and yes, he could argue all he wanted that it was a people, not a place, but that didn't erase the fact that the place itself was gone because he'd failed to protect it. That was almost trivial compared to his failure to defeat Thanos. He could still taste it in his mouth, bitter and burning, even months after the fact. If he'd thought chopping that ugly purple head off would make him feel better, he was mistaken. There was little satisfaction in it, and it didn't change anything. All those people were still gone.

It would never be an easy decision to leave his people, but at heart, Thor was a warrior more than a king. Brunnhilde was better suited to it, and he knew she would be a fair and just ruler. He couldn't sit in one place and let the guilt shrivel him from the inside out. The universe might be down half its population, but there were still going to be people who needed help. He sometimes joined the Guardians of the Galaxy, sometimes went solo, and now he found himself alongside Captain Marvel. They should have been celebrating another success, but try as he might, the mood never stayed with him long. He'd stepped away from the revelry for some fresh air, the clouds rumbling distantly with his mood.

[agreeewrites]

Hit Me Where It Hurts The Most p.4 | S.B.

feat. Sirius Black x Rowle!reader

SUMMARY: You attend the Lestrange Gala on Rabastan's arm, finally making your family proud. But all things must come to the light, and with time running out, a decision must be made.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut, pure blood ideology, manipulative and abusive families, angst angst angst, protective!Sirius, hurt/comfort, HEA

AN: wow! this is long! but ahhh! can't believe we've reached the final part of the series!! but don't worry, I'm not done with this one quite yet...

series navigation | part one | part two | part three | masterlist

You tried to focus on the book in your lap, but the words were swimming on the page, taking the shape of your argument with Sirius.

He's lying to you.

You don't understand.

Please don't leave.

He'd been so passionate, so single-minded in his desire for you—it scared the shit out of you. His words were pretty, his intentions righteous, but was that enough?

For so long, the story of your life has been drilled into your head. Over and over and over again. A wealthy man's wife, the jewel of his crown, the mother of his children, keeper of the bloodline.

What were you beyond that? Who were you, if not obedient?

The train rolled loudly beneath you, the Scottish country side a blur of green and gray. It was a long weekend, and it seemed loads of students were taking advantage.

Before boarding, you caught a glimpse of James and Sirius with some bags waiting in a patch of sunshine. Of course James Potter would use a free weekend to visit his parents.

Sirius was puffing on a cigarette, staring down at the tracks while James talked animatedly about something you couldn't hear. He looked…sad. And you turned away, following your brother onto the back of the train.

You were in a compartment with Thorfinn, his long legs stretched out and resting on the cushion beside you, his head lolled against the window. But you knew he wasn't sleeping, because his snores would rattle the windows more than the train.

He was oddly quiet, though, and the threat of danger buzzed like a gnat around your head. You wished you'd insisted on sharing at compartment with Rab, but Thorfinn dragged you away before you could open your mouth.

“What are you staring at?” He gruffed, peaking open one of his eyes to peer at you.

You hurriedly looked down at your book, but it was too late. He pushed himself up, cracking his thick neck before bracing his elbows on his knees and leaning towards you.

“We need to talk.”

You closed your book, setting it aside with trembling fingers. “What about?”

He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. A bizarrely human gesture of discomfort. “Father wrote two weeks ago, the—the business is not going well.”

Your stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”

It looked like it genuinely pained him to be telling you this, and your addled mind couldn't begin to decipher it. “We're running out of money, y/n. Rapidly. If things continue, we may lose…” he trailed off, staring down at his fine leather shoes. “We may lose everything.”

“Why are you just telling me this now?” You asked, voice tight with fear. Was there anything secure in your life anymore? At every turn, if seemed danger and uncertainty lurked.

All you ever wanted was safety, and that seemed more impossible by the day.

“I didn't want it to affect—” he waved vaguely towards the closed compartment door. Towards Rabastan. “I didn't want it to be a factor. Father told me to keep it from you, but sister—” he reached for your hand, the bandage removed by Madame Pomfry that morning, and it took every ounce of willpower you'd built to not pull away. “You may be our last hope.”

You shook your head, tears springing to your eyes. “I can't, Thor—”

“You already are,” he said. “With the Lestrange's on our side, Father can turn this around. Save our family.”

You held his icy gaze, shocked by what was transpiring. Thor hadn't spoken to you like this in…Merlin, years? He'd become so tight-lipped, so hostile, you'd forgotten that there was man inside that brutal, glacial exterior.

But…was he a man you trusted?

“I should go to him now, then,” you said, the compartment suddenly stifling. “Have some quiet time before the party.”

Thorfinn nodded. “I'm not supposed to allow unsupervised meetings, but…this once I can let it slide.”

“Thank you, brother.” You leaned forward to kiss his cheek, surprising him, before slipping out of the compartment before he changed his mind.

You slumped against the wall, catching your breath and wiping tears from your cheeks. How had this all ended up on your shoulders? Your family, your future, your feelings, Sirius’ feelings—it was too much.

All you ever wanted was safety. Security.

For a moment of delirious hope you thought about tracing down Sirius’ compartment, begging him to take you to the Potter Manor with him. Let yourself want him as recklessly as he did you. But what Sirius offered was a pipedream, a fantasy, and you'd always been a practical girl.

You could only see one reality laid before you. Unrolled like a red carpet at your feet.

No matter how you felt about Sirius, how much you felt for him, could you risk everything for a shot at something as fickle as love?

What happened when he got tired of you in six months? When the novelty wore off? When the heat of an illicit affair turned tepid and stale?

Sirius would resent you. You would resent him. It could only end in heartbreak for the both you. Could only end in pain.

You raped a knuckle on the door of Rabastan's compartment.

“Come in,” he called, sounding a bit distracted.

You slid open the door, peaking your head in. “Am I disturbing you?”

He closed the book in his lap, setting aside the quill in his hand for notes. Dressed in luxurious clothes, even for a train ride he thought he'd be spending alone. “Never, darling. Are you alright?”

You sat on the cushion beside him, his dark eyes sweeping over you, tangible as a caress. “Thorfinn is snoring too loud for me to think straight,” you lied. “And I thought maybe we could spend some time together, before tonight?”

He smiled, turning so his back was braced against the train window and he was facing you, one leg propped up on the seat. It was a casual position, spread out and languid, and your cheeks flushed with heat at the near indecency of it.

Rabastan never did anything by mistake, and this was no exception. His perceptive eyes watched your reaction, and something sinful flickered to life in them as the blush stained your skin.

“Your brother was under strict orders to prevent unsupervised interactions,” Rab pointed out, tilting his head slightly.

“We'll be in London by the time he wakes up, he won't even notice,” you replied.

He made a soft, contemplative sound in his throat. “I didn't take you for the rebellious type, little doe.” He pushed his dark hair back from his face, revealing every sharp angle and curve, a face carved by the Goddess Aphrodite herself. Flawless.

You'd make beautiful, perfectly pureblood children, that was for sure. Not that you cared much for that, beauty or blood status, and you hadn't ever really contemplated whether you wanted children. It was just what was done.

“I'm not, usually,” you said. “I'm not sure what's come over me.” At least that wasn't entirely a lie.

“You always have this lost look in your eye,” he murmured. “Beautiful, fuck, you're beautiful. But sad, aren't you?”

His words struck a chord, tears brimming once more, weighing down the buoyancy of his praise.

You were so tired of being sad all the time, afraid. You just wanted to forget for awhile, and just be.

Rab shifted, setting his feet on the ground and moving closer to you. His hand came up to cup your cheek, turning your face towards him. “Darling, I could make you so happy.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, achingly tender, and a sob wrenched itself from your chest. “Sh, sh, my love, it's alright now.” He swiped away your tears with his thumbs. “You're safe with me. You'll never know hardship or pain again, if you just let me take care of you.”

You looked up at him with watery eyes, his expression painfully sincere. And you knew he meant it, knew that he would never let harm come to his wife. If you were his, you were as secure as gold in Gringott's. Untouchable.

“Just tell me what you need from me, and it's yours,” he whispered, eyes shimmering with promise.

Right now, all you wanted was to forget. To feel something other than gnawing, consuming fear.

“Don't want to think anymore,” you breathed. “I'm so tired of thinking.”

The corner of his mouth lifted, sharp as a dagger and twice as dangerous. “I think I can manage that.” He dragged you towards him, molding his lips to yours. You leaned into him, letting his mouth guide yours through the lush, toe-curling kiss. His tongue glided over your lower lip, tasting you, and you parted for him, moaning as his tongue twined with yours.

Rab felt so good, so assured and deliberate. It was easy to give in to him, to let him take the lead.

One of his arms looped around your waist, hauling you up and into his lap, straddling him. His hand on your face slid into your hair, gentle but firm as he deepened the kiss. Your heart beat wildly in your chest, heat spilling into your lower belly. You gave a tentative roll of your hips, desperate for more than a kiss, and you felt him smile against your mouth.

“Eager, darling?” He purred, kissing down your neck. “As tempting as you are, little doe, there will be none of that until you're mine.”

“Rab,” you whined, digging your fingers into his muscular shoulders, head tipping back to give him more access.

“Fuck, you sound so pretty.” His arms wrapped around you, pulling you flush to his chest as he thrust his hips up, making you gasp. “Go on, sweetheart. Show me what a perfect little wife you'll be.”

His words send a terrifying, exhilarating thrill through your body, a visceral reaction beyond rationality. It was a like a drunk being passed a handle of whiskey, everything you ever wanted at your fingertips.

Pretty little wife.

A path. A plan. A purpose.

You rocked your hips against him again, crying out when the thick bulge of his cock grazed your clit. Yes, yes, yes. Fuck, it felt so good, losing yourself in him. Letting the world slip free from your shoulders like the moans slipping from your lips.

Rab chuckled low in his throat, his hand skimming down your stomach, dipping beneath your skirt and panties to feel your dripping pussy, leaking obediently into his hand as his middle finger swirled your entrance. “You're a vision, darling. Absolute perfection,” he praised, the words hot and breathy against your skin. “Being so good.” His finger slipped inside of you, curling against your gooey walls, and you keened, aching thighs working you even faster against his palm.

“Mmph—Rab, m’so close,” you whimpered, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

“Go on, let go for me. There's my precious girl, that's it—” his whispered encouragement sent you over the edge, muffling your cry into his neck as pleasure seized you, hips bucking erratically as you rode out your high.

“Fuck, fuck,” you gasped, heart pounding in your ears, between your legs, as you slowly returned to earth, melting into his sturdy embrace.

Rabastan slid his fingers from you, taking a small taste of you for himself before feeding the digit between your lips. “Well done, love. Came so pretty for me.” He kissed along your temple, your cheek while you sucked yourself off of his finger.

He withdrew his finger, patting your cheek like you would an obedient dog, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

Suddenly, what you were doing hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd crawled into his lap like a bitch in heat, desperate and lonely, and so pathetic—your whole body stiffened in his arms, fighting the urge to recoil from him.

How could you have done this? Walked into his trap so willingly after everything? Betrayed Sirius’ open-heart so completely?

It took everything in you to swallow the tears forcing their way up your throat.

The train whistled, long and ear-splitting, and you jumped off his lap, so relieved your knees nearly gave out beneath you.

“Thor is going to wake up, I have to go.” You righted yourself, willfully ignoring the wet spot you left on his designer trousers, the raging hard on still tenting in his lap. “I'll see you tonight?”

“Run along, little doe. I'll see you tonight.” He waved you away.

You hurried back into the hall, nearly tipping over your feet when the train started to slow as it approached the station.

Thor wrenched open the compartment door, blue eyes landing on you. You have him a stiff nod, knowing what he wanted from you, and he grinned, jagged as the spikes of a bear trap.

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The emerald gown Rab selected for you was exquisite, tailored to perfection from its halter neckline to the slit reaching towards your hip. It looked like it had been poured onto you, hugging every curve. You should feel beautiful, but instead you felt deeply vulnerable. Like you may as well walk out there naked. All your secrets from the last month written across your skin.

After departing from the train, you and Thorfinn met up with your parents for tea, and you endured their endless questions and backhanded praise, leaving you feeling battered and even more ashamed than you already had.

It all felt so…hopeless.

Your eye wandered to your trunk, where the invisibility cloak was hidden away. A final sliver of hope. You didn't think you were brave enough to use it, if this morning was any indication. But you'd brought it anyways, knowing it was what Sirius wanted.

Your mind tugged one way, your heart another. Without this marriage your family could be left destitute. Your future a compete mystery.

And clearly, the allure of Rabastan's security and power was more formidable than you'd bargained for. The slightest push, and you'd folded. Fear making you desperate, foolish, cowardly.

And maybe that's what you were. Maybe Sirius was wrong about you.

The door to your suite creaked open, your mother sticking her head through the crack. “Are you finished yet?”

“Yes, mother,” you replied, rising from your makeup table and smoothing your dress. “I'm ready.”

You walked arm and arm with your mother down to the party, tuning out her endless instructions on how you should act and heave, who you should speak to, who you should ignore.

But as soon as you stepped into the ballroom, she fell silent in awe. It was stunningly lavish, every table dripping in velvet and diamonds,the glittering chandeliers overhead extravagant enough to compete with Gringotts. The marble floor clicked under your heels, the sound swallowed up by the band on the stage and the mingling voices floating on the air.

You knew the Lestrange's were wealthy, but this…

“Ah! There are my beautiful girls!” Your father appeared, Reinhard Lestrange on his left, Rabastan and Rodolpus flanking him like sentinels. “Don't you look lovely, darling.” Your father took your hands, bringing your knuckles to his lips, and you had to fight to control your expression. Your father never showed affection

Unconsciously, you glanced up at Rabastan. His eyes were trained on you, a pleased gleam lighting up his face, and you flushed. Reinhard seemed to notice the exchange, and looked at you with more interest.

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you,” he drawled, his voice having the same smooth cadence as his younger son. “Reinhard Lestrange.” He offered a hand, and you placed your fingers in his, and he brushed a kiss to your knuckles.

“It's an honor, sir,” you cooed despite your heart beating wildly in your chest, curtsying low.

A small smile ghosted his mouth, an echo of Rabastan's. “No wonder my son is so besotted, it's rare to meet such a competent young lady. Let alone one as striking as you.”

Besotted. You caught Rodolpus and Rabastan exchange a look, Rodolpus a teasing smirk, Rabastan a half-hearted glare.

“I only have my parents to thank for my nature, sir,” you said, and your parents beamed.

Reinhard chuckled. “So, what went wrong with your brother then?” Reinhard teased, surprising you with his sense of humor.

“Well, there's always one,” you shrugged, glancing at Rodolpus, and Reinhard burst out laughing.

Rabastan gave you a proud wink, and you bit your lip to stop from grinning. Rodolpus chuckled too, elbowing his brother, and you exhaled in relief. Maybe you could do this.

“Quite right, darling. Lucky Bella didn't hear that though, she's rip those pretty eyes right out.” Reinhard clapped Rodolpus on the shoulder. “Come, dinners about to begin.”

Rabastan swooped in as your party began to move, looping your arm through his. He looked wonderful, like one of those American movies stars, so dapper in his perfectly pressed black suit.

He leaned down towards you, keeping you close as you navigated the crowd. “Masterfully done, darling. I haven't seen my father laugh in weeks.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, waving at Evan and Regulus as you walked past them, their jaws a bit slack as they stared at you.

Rab cast them a warning glare, and they snapped their heads back to one another. “You look beautiful, though I doubt it needs to be said considering the trail of broken necks.”

“It's the dress, Rab. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever worn,” you said, looking up at him through dark lashes. “I'm so grateful.”

He leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “You'll have a closet full of the finest things, little doe.”

You reached the table and he pulled a chair out for you. You sat down, letting him slide you closer to he table before taking his seat beside you, to the right of his brother. Thorfinn sat beside your father, who was at Reinhards left. Your brother cast you an appraising glance, but turned his attention back to your father with barely an acknowledgement. Your heart deflated a bit.

Rabastan shook his head, frowning at the hurt tugging down the corners of your mouth. “And I thought my brother was an arse.”

“I resent that,” Rodolpus muttered, taking a sip of champagne. His wild-haired wife sat beside him, curled around his arm like a snake, her eyes meandering over your face.

Bellatrix Lestrange, once a Black. You could see the Black genes written all over her, from the bone structure to the haunting gray eyes. A jilted pang made you wince down at your plate.

How badly you wished Sirius was here. And he would be, you supposed, if Walburga and Orion Black weren't despicable wastes of oxygen.

You glanced down the table, finding them sitting with Regulus' between them, his eyes cast down at his plate while his parents talked over his head. From the movement of Walburgas mouth, you knew what they were talking about: Sirius.

Regulus felt your gaze and looked up, his eyes connecting with yours. His jaw feathered with tension, and thread of connection in spooling between you. He must see the hurt reflected in your eyes well.

You looked away.

Dinner dragged down for what felt like eons, tiny plate after tiny plate of priceless, exotic food, and endless flutes of champagne.

After dessert, Rabastan coaxed you out onto the dancefloor, where you waltzed and turned for another hour or so. But you couldn't get Regulus' expression out of your mind, couldn't shake the harrowing feeling it left behind.

We aren't supposed to be here, it screamed.

You'd never particularly enjoyed these parties, volleying with Sirius had always been your favorite part even if you'd never admit it. You felt his absence like a missing rib.

Had you ever missed Rabastan like that? Felt a moment was lacking, a meal was tasteless, a song was hollow, because Rabastan wasn't there to enjoy it with you?

The answer came with dizzying clarity: not even once.

But you felt it constantly with Sirius. Even at the wretched party, you so wished he could hear the sonorous band, or got to taste the bizarrely sweet squid patté just so you could exchange the same disgusted glance.

Everything felt brighter, lighter with Sirius.

But, the toll of the Lestrange clocktower sounded like a death knell. There was no going back.

You heart fractured, sending a wave of despair so intense, you stumbled over Rabastan’s foot.

He hauled you closer to his chest, steadying you. “Are you alright, darling?” He murmured, gently brushing your hair from your forehead. “Ready to sit for a spell?”

You nodded, allowing him to escort you towards a set of chairs in a quieter corner of the party. He flagged down a waiter to bring you a glass of water, and procured a fan from another.

“I have some business to discuss with my father, will you be alright on your own for a bit?” He asked, petting the top of your head.

“I'm alright, thank you, Rab,” you replied, taking a sip of water to try and force down the knot of emotion in your throat.

He kissed your cheek before disappearing into the crowd. You noticed your brother peel off from his place at the bar with some girl to follow him, and alarm bells sounded in the back of your mind.

You had a terrible, bone-deep feeling that the business they were discussing was you.

When you looked around, no one was paying you any mind. Your parents were nowhere to be seen, and neither were the male Lestrange's.

This might be your only chance to find out what they had in store for you.

As quickly as you could without drawing attention, you made your way out of the party and up to your room, fanning yourself and hoping anyone that noticed you would simply think you were poorly and retiring to your room.

You ditched your heels and grabbed the invisibility cloak, wrapping around yourself. You watched yourself disappear in the mirror, and a thrill of excitement shot up your spine. Sirius' cologne still lingered on the fabric, and it brought you a bit of comfort.

After stuffing some pillows under your duvet, you slipped out of the room, invisible as a wraith, a closed the door softly behind you. You hurried down the halls of the massive manor, wracking your brain to remember the brief tour their house Rabastan gave you upon arrival. You turned down the hall you remembered him skipping over, the walls decorated with art too fine to be unimportant like he'd implied.

A few feet down the hall, you could hear your father's voice floating through a crack in the door.

“This is my daughter we're talking about, Lestrange,” he bit.

“What you're proposing is absurd, Rowle,” Reinhard replied, sounding almost bored. “Especially considering it seems she'd marry my son of her own volition.”

“Not without our permission, she wouldn't. And she will have no such blessing until the amount is paid in full.”

Your throat dried. What amount?

Rabastan chuckled, the sound low and patronizing. “You think she cares what you think, Thorfinn?”

“Of course she does,” your father snapped. “Don't pretend you know her, or care about her.”

Silence echoed around the hall, drawn to a razors edge. You shifted to peer into the room, finding Rabastan leaning against his father's desk, eyes dark with rage.

Thorfinn stepped between Rabastan and your father, and Rodolpus moved to stand beside his younger brother, looking decidedly more casual than the rest of them.

Rodolpus alone could mop the floor with your family, and they knew it.

“Care about her?” Rabastan growled. “Have you not come to my house to sell her like merchandise?”

“Rabastan,” Reinhard warned.

Rabastan pushed off the desk, prowling closer. “Merchandise, which, I feel inclined to mention, you damaged?”

Your stomach dropped, and Thorfinn blanched.

“What?” Your father hissed, turning to Thorfinn.

“Damaged how?” Reinhard asked, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder.

Rabastan went quiet, letting Thorfinn sweat, before he shook his head. “Damaged metaphorically, of course,” he said, leaning back against the desk and Thorfinn sagged a bit in relief.

“Regardless, you ask too much, Rowle,” Reinhard continued, casting a warning glare at Rabastan.

“How much would a daughter of your own be worth, Reinhard?” Your mother asked, and you gasped. Your mother was never one to speak out of turn.

Reinhard’s expression darkened. “That's the difference between us, witch. I would never put a price on my child's head,” he snarled. “I've only agreed to be a part of this because my son insisted.”

You braced a hand on the wall, shock rocking through you. Not only were they trying to sell you, Rabastan wanted to buy you?

“Father—”

“Enough. I know you're soft on the girl, but—”

“Fine,” your father interrupted, making Reinhard grit his teeth. “Make it 15,000 galleons.”

You felt like you might be sick. How could you family do this to you? Thorfinn's words earlier echoed in your mind. The business is not going well. You may be our last hope.

You didn't realize he meant it so literally.

Reinhard looked at Rabastan. “Is she worth it, son?”

You couldn't stick around for his answer. You took off down the hall, bare feet slapping on the marble, tears streaming down your face.

An arranged marriage, one of mutual gain, was one thing, but to be sold? It made you sick. How could Rabastan agree to that? How could he touch you, kiss you, knowing that he was purchasing you like livestock? Had you ever had a choice? Would they drag you down the aisle in shackles?

You pushed your way through the party and out the grand front doors, flying down the steps. The ground was frigid and rough beneath your bare feet, but you ran anyways, leaving the shadow of Lestrange Manor far behind you.

You couldn't get back Hogwarts without the train, and there was only one other place you could think of to go.

In a sickening whirl of color, the spell spit you out on the stone steps of candlelit porch, framed with enchanted flowers that bloomed brightly despite the winter chill: Potter Manor.

You stared up at the front door, heart racing so fast you could barely breathe. There was no turning back from this.

You reached a hand up and knocked three times.

A few moments later, James pulled open the door, dressed like he was about to go to sleep. Fuck, you hadn't even considered how late it was.

“Y/n?” He asked, adjusting his glasses.

“I'm sorry, I—”

“Y/n?” Sirius pushed in front of James, eyes wide. He was shirtless, flannel sweatpants slung low. His smattering of archaic ink a stark contrast to his fair skin, and for a second you forgot what you were doing here. “Are you okay?” Sirius asked, ushering you into the foyer and closing the door. “Are you hurt?” He pushed the cloak from your shoulders, revealing the gown you were wearing, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“No, no. I—” a sob welled up, choking off your voice.

“Oh, darling, come here.” He bundled you into his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around your body while you cried into the curve of his neck, fists balled up against his abdomen. “Sh, sh, it's alright, love. I've got you,” he murmured into your hair, pressing kisses into the side of your head. “I've got you now.”

He held you a bit tighter, lifting you into a bridal holding, making you cry harder.

“What's going on?” You heard an unfamiliar man ask, and you clung tighter to Sirius, fear streaking through you.

“Shh, it's James' father. You're safe,” he whispered, carrying you across the house and depositing you onto a chaise in a sitting room.

Distantly, you could hear James explaining who you were in a hushed voice.

“I didn't know where else you go,” you sniffled, taking a stuttering inhale. “I'm sorry for barging in.”

“Nonsense,” he shushed you, crouching down in front of you and offering a handkerchief. “You're right where your meant to be.”

You dabbed your eyes and nose, smearing mascara all over the clean fabric and cringed.

“Can you tell me what happened, love?” He asked, brows furrowed with concern.

“They—he—” your voice splintered, another wave of panic and sobs dragging you under.

“Okay, you don't have to say anything.” He shifted to sit on the couch and pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as you trembled. You buried your face into his neck and let yourself cry, and cry, and cry.

All the stress and fear of the last few weeks bubbled up and poured out of you until you were gasping, hollowed out and raw.

Something shuffled in the room, and you suddenly remembered you were not alone. Sirius appeared to have the same realization, glancing over his shoulder at his friend and his parents.

You braced yourself for the barrage of questions, but instead you heard James’ mother murmur, “Would she like some tea?”

“Love?” Sirius asked, turning to you. “Do you need anything?”

You shook your head, embarrassment scorching your cheeks. “M'okay, thank you Mrs. Potter,” you mumbled.

“Chamomile tea would be great, mama, thank you,” Sirius answered for you, a twinge of exasperated affection in his voice.

“’Course. Be back in a bit,” she said, her voice so gentle it brought tears to your eyes once again, and you heard three sets of slippers shuffle out.

“Look at me,” Sirius murmured, cradling your face and lifting your head from the crook of his shoulder. “I need to apologize for yesterday. I let my own feelings cloud my judgement and I—I’m so sorry if I frightened you.”

“It frightened me because it was true.” You barely recognized your own voice, hoarse and small. “Because I wasn't ready to face it.”

“And now?” His gray eyes welled with something dangerously close to hope, and your heart gave a silly little flip.

For the first time, you didn't try to fight it. You just let the feeling bloom in your chest, warm and glittery, and you nodded into his neck, wrapping an arm around his middle.

“Now I know that I was building my life, myself, around a lie. None of it was real—” tears threatened to choke you again, but you fought them down. “How I feel about you is the only thing I know isn't stained by their lies. I know that it comes from me, the real me. And that’s why it scared me so much. They taught me not to trust myself…”

Sirius was quiet, eyes glossy with unshed tears, his thumb catching a stray tear as it rolled down your cheek.

You weren't sure if you were ready to give voice to what you heard, but you wanted to offer some kind of explanation for your sudden appearance. “I overheard something, and my instincts were screaming at me, and I just…I listened.”

“That's good, love. That was the right thing to do,” he murmured, rubbing soothing circles around your back. “And I'm glad you came here.”

James sauntered into the sitting room, tray in hand. “I was wondering where the cloak went,” he said, crouching down in front of you and handing you a mug of tea. “You alright, mate?”

Mate. The word made your broken heart glow.

“I thought you ran it by him?” You asked, quirking a brow at Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. “James is a loud mouth.”

“Hey!”

“I heard you tried to go toe to toe with my brother,” you said, providing further proof of Sirius' accusation.

“And I'd do it again,” James huffed. “I'll do it now, if you want. Where is he?”

“Not Thorfinn, unfortunately. But you can tangle with me, if you'd like.” A low voice filled the room, startling the three of you to your feet. Rabastan stood leaned against the doorway, twirling his wand in his fingers. “Trusting sort, the Potters. Let me right in.”

James bolted out of the room in search of his parents and Sirius withdrew his wand, tugging you behind him.

“What did you do?” Sirius growled, and Rab rolled his eyes.

“Nothing, cousin. Now, get your hands off of my girl.” Rab straightened to his full height, but Sirius didn't falter.

Fuck this. “I heard you,” you snapped, stepping out from behind Sirius and raising your own wand as you stalked towards him. “I heard you talking with my parents. You fucking bought me?”

Rabastan's smug smile dropped. “No, I--”

“What am I worth, Rabastan? 15,000 galleons? Twenty?” you hissed, jabbing your wand under his chin.

“You didn't stick around for my answer, darling?” He countered, taking a step forward, closing the gap between you. “I said you were worth the trip to Azkaban after I gutted your brother like a fucking fish.”

You blinked. “What—”

“We were never going to buy you,” he admitted, his voice softening. “Or at least, I wasn't. I would only have you if you wanted me in return.” His fingers came up to caress your cheek, and you flinched away, taking a step back. “I thought you wanted me too,” he whispered, hurt straining the edges of his voice.

“You've been lying to me,” you said, taking another step back. “I can't trust you, or any of them.”

Rab's jaw flexed, his chin dropping to his chest in shame. “I'm sorry, little doe—”

“Don't fucking call me that.”

He turned his head like you’d slapped him, his hand flexing around his wand, eyes squeezing shut. A part of your heart ached with guilt, but you couldn’t forgive him. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

James returned, wand raised. “You need to get out, Lestrange. Now,” he ordered.

“James, wait,” Sirius said, stepping forward and placing a steady hand on your shoulder. “So, you didn't go through with it?” The question was directed at Rab, who lifted his head to meet Sirius’ eyes.

“That’s why I came,” he said, looking back at you. “I called it off. All of it. But I need you to understand, you...you can’t go home.”

“What?” Panic closed like a fist around your throat.

“I’m sorry, darl—y/n.” He took a tentative step towards you, pocketing his wand. “When we discovered that you ran, your father—he disowned you.”

You sagged to the side, Sirius catching you around the waist. They disowned you. Cast you side like damaged goods. Like you were worthless to them now. “W-what?”

The room tilted around you again, your vision tunneling to a pinprick--

“Easy, love.” Sirius eased you back onto the chaise, cupping your face in an effort to keep you tethered to consciousness. “Take a breath for me, in—good girl—now breath out. Nice and long, that’s it.”

You followed his instructions, taking big, deep breaths until the darkness at the edge of your vision receded, your heart rate starting to slow.

“All they’ve done is set you free, doll,” Sirius said, smoothing your hair from your face. “You’re going to be alright.”

“Where will I go?” You sniffed, clutching at Sirius’ shirt. Over his shoulder, you saw pain flicker across Rabastan’s face, but he looked away, towards James.

“If I provide a stipend, would your family be able to house her? Since you Potter’s like stray’s so much?” He gestured to Sirius.

“It’s up to her,” Sirius interrupted, throwing his cousin a glare. “She can go where she wants.”

“You’re more than welcome,” James said, looking past the others towards you. “We’ve got plenty of room, no stipend required.” The last bit was directed at Rab, his voice turning barbed.

“The semester’s almost over,” Sirius added. “Could stay for the summer, than get your own place in London. If that's what you want to do.”

“And we’ll keep your brother far away, if needed,” Rabastan added. “I meant what I said. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Despite yourself, some of your resentment towards him loosened. He’d done the right thing in the end, and perhaps it wasn’t all a lie. This world had chewed you all up, one way or another, how much could you fault him for baring the scars of the monster that made him?

Those same scars nearly cost you everything. Everything being the man on his knees in front of you, the sincerest and most loyal person you'd ever known. The only person you ever trusted unconditionally and without restraint. He was everything you'd ever wanted, you'd just been to blinded by fear to see it.

“Thank you, Rab,” you murmured, and he dipped his chin. “And thank you, James,” you said, and he gave you two thumbs up. You took Sirius’ chin, turning his face to yours. “And you, Sirius, there aren’t enough ‘thank you’s’ in the world,” you whispered, and the smile he gave you was so lovesick, it nearly brought tears to your eyes.

“Don’t you dare thank me,” he said, taking your hand from his face and placing it over his heart, beating rhythmically in the center of his bare chest. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, love. I’ll maim Lestrange’s pretty face right now if you want—”

“Fuck off, mutt—”

“That won’t be necessary,” you chuckled, leaning in to peck Sirius’ lips. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I suppose that’s my cue,” Rabastan said, adjusting his cuffs and looking everywhere but you and Sirius. “I’ll see you around the common room, then?”

“We’ll see—”

“Of course,” you placed a hand over Sirius’ mouth, silencing his attitude. He nibbled your palm in retaliation.

Rabastan dipped his chin in farewell and took his leave, glancing back at you a final time before stepping out into the quiet night.

You lowered your hand from Sirius’ mouth, giving him a phony scowl, and he bared his teeth, teasing you back.

“I’ll talk to my parents,” James said, rubbing the back of his head. “Sirius can show you to the empty guest room, though I suppose you won’t be using it—oi!” Sirius launched a pillow at James’ head, and he scampered away, disappearing down the hall.

Sirius turned his attention back to you, expression softening. “Are you alright, love?” He asked, holding your hands in his.

You nodded. “I’m okay…afraid, I suppose. But in a different way.” You traced the web of your fingers with your eyes, and brought your joined hands up to kiss across his scarred knuckles. “But Sirius, I’m not sure we should jump into anything quite yet.”

Sirius nodded, his eyes lingering on your lips. “We’ll go at your pace, whatever you want—so long as I can kiss you every six hours.”

You grinned, affection blooming like a burst of sunlight in your chest. “I think we can arrange that.” You leaned forward, pressing your tear-dampened lips to his, and for the first time, it didn’t hit you where it hurts the most, in your battered, bruised heart. It touched your soul instead, somewhere deeper, uncharted.

Somewhere new.

Thank you so much to everyone that read and supported this series! I'm so proud of it, and it was a joy to scream about it with you all 🫶

But don't worry, you haven't seen the last of Rabastan 😉

taglist: @lovelykat001, @carmenschemtrails, @lolalleins, @fangirl-swagg, @batboysanonymous, @watchmerora, @iheartnostalgia, @simars3, @elizabethblood9, @unstable-cucumber, @holholliday, @itisjustwhatitis

© agreeeeeeeeeee 2025. do not copy, translate or claim my writing as your own.

[wandascrush]

Let the light in

Summary: The Avengers are separated after being hunted down and forced to live life on the low, causing a painful break up with the love of your life. What happens when she finds you again? Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

A/N: Based off of this request pt. 2

Warnings: Angst, violence, loneliness, blood, breakup, team separated, depression, kissing, comfort

Song: Let the light in- Lana Del Rey

The team sat around the dark living room, the familiar voice of one of New York's most famous news anchors echoing in through the air, “Good evening New Yorkers, today we open our headline with some shocking news:  Former Stark enterprise building, located on the upper east side, exploded earlier today by a missile attack on the Avengers. Sources say Tony Stark was currently using it to house new plans for an updated Avengers training arena and larger compound.  Two architects, three investors, and one security manager was injured. Two of the victims later succumbed to their injuries after the explosion. Reports confirming the source of the violence are still unknown, however the Avengers were believed to have been inside the building at the time- hence the attack. The founding members of the Avengers Initiative such as Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Thor Odinson, Y/N L/N, and Clint Barton have yet to speak out. This marks the second targeted attack on our world’s heroes in nearly a month since the Maximoff twins incident in Barbados, where Pietro Maximoff was nearly assassinated. It raises the question for us all: Are our heroes being hunted?” 

The screen went black, bye bye news lady. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. “What’re we gonna do Tony?” You got no answer. 

 “Cap?”  

For the first time in the decade you’d known the team, (except for the Maximoffs & Peter) you saw uncertainty in all of their eyes. Tony threw his classic sunglasses on the couch, squeezing the middle of his nose in a useless attempt to massage an oncoming headache away, “Fury… thought it’d be wise if we split up for awhile-,” he was quickly shut up with protests from the group.

“It’s too dangerous. This isn't easy for me, but we're facing a threat that's beyond anything we've encountered before. I've crunched the numbers, run simulations – the Avengers need to disband temporarily. We scatter, go off the grid, and regroup when the dust settles.”

“This is bullshit, Tony. You know it is. This is exactly what they want-” 

“Tasha,” your gentle touch on her back always softened her heart, but not today. She didn’t even look at you. 

“It’s not the end, Nat. It’s like a strategic retreat. We're ensuring we'll live to fight another day. For once, I’m with Stark on this. We play it safe, keep low profiles, and spread out,” Steve sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and taking a hard look at everyone, “we’re family, we keep each other safe. And this is how we do it.” 

As much as the idea made your stomach churn, he was right. He always was. This was your family. Every holiday, happy memory, laugh and cry and battle and bruise was all with them. This team is how you met the love of your life. You loved each other, and if this is what needed to happen, then you’d do it. 

But that didn’t sit well with your girlfriend. 

“No, end of story. We’re not separating.”

“You know I don’t think it’s just you’re choice, Natasha. I mean we have to decide this together,” your fingers lightly brushed the edge of the bed, nervously playing with the soft sheets you had just bought.

“Exactly, and I. Said. No.” She was acting like a stubborn toddler that didn’t want to eat her veggies, crossing her arms and raising her voice an octave.

It was then when you saw something different in her eyes, those beautiful green orbs that held so much sadness and joy at the same time. But today they were cloudy, like a storm was brewing in her mind. You gently slipped off of the bed and stood in front of her, pressing your forehead to hers, “You know it’s going to be okay, right?” soft palms caressed the side of her cheek, immediately feeling her sigh into your touch. “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.” You wish your words were true. 

    Two months later the Avengers were spreading out all across the U.S., saying choked up goodbyes and packing your things. It was agreed upon that there’d be a team meeting once a month, every month, for the next year until you could figure out who the threat was, and how to eliminate them. You thought San Francisco sounded nice, fresh, and a little more peaceful than the hustle and bustle of New York. And it was, for a time. You got a haircut, dyed your gorgeous h/c locks to a rich h/c shade. You bought a sweet little home with a bay window over looking the Golden Gate Bridge, started building an in home gym and library, and kept an extremely low profile. You finished file work and other Avengers paperwork at home, with a high security grade laptop. Natasha on the other hand, refused to dye her hair, or keep a low profile. She didn’t want to admit that she was depressed, but it was glaringly oblivious. Being thrown out of her comforting routine put a wrench in Natasha’s life that not even you, her beautiful girl, could fix. All day she would do her paperwork, workout, and just keep to herself. It was like you weren’t even girlfriends anymore. Finally, in the fifth month of living “undercover,” she finally agreed to go on a low key date with you to a small, cozy bar on the outskirts of the city. You got dressed up for the first time in what felt like forever, did your makeup real pretty, and even did braids on Natasha’s silky hair. She looked happy, finally. Adorning a brown leather jacket, dark blue jeans, and a low cut green top- her classic silver arrow necklace sitting pretty on her chest- your girlfriend looked like her old self again...absolutely perfect. 

“You look gorgeous, baby,” swift arms swept you into a gentle kiss, smirking against your lips and pulling you close to her waist. 

You thought that night would be perfect, but by 11 pm you two were home and icing her bloody knuckles, static tv voices echoing in the background. You felt hot tears rising to the surface, but you never let them fall. It’s not like you were just mad or angry or disappointed…no this was something more. You were embarrassed. Embarrassed by Natasha. You thought you’d never say that sentence, but then there you were, apologizing to the bartender for your girlfriend's rowdy behavior, and throwing $20 to the guy she completely knocked out before nearly carrying her out of the bar and into a cab. Within the next two weeks she packed her bags, and your home was changing once again, now empty. 

  8 months later 

    The team said that you’d only be separated for a year, or less, but you were coming up on a year pretty soon and none of you were any closer to figuring out who the threat is. But you, you moved on, strived forward, and kept going. Your breakup with Nat had been one of the most painful moments of your life, but you didn’t let it stop you. These days you hardly cried over her at all, never even thought of the old days. Well, except for last Tuesday, when you saw one of her old sweaters and lied in bed for the rest of the day, or on Thursday when you heard her favorite song and- well, never mind that. You were at the top of your fucking game. 

  Ms. Romanoff, on the other hand, had moved out of San Francisco completely and settled in Washington D.C. from the last you heard. She attended the monthly zooms, same as you, but you two never addressed one another. Natasha pushed all of the heartbreak she harbored deep, deep down until she would lie down for bed and reach out next to her…but you were never there. 

[jakesangel]

unrequited love w jake - 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 event request

preview : he is always putting you first, why can't he be his girlfriend. allas, you're only his childhood best friend

word count + genre : angst ( i tried to ) . 3.1k ( word vomit so it's not proofread

warning : dorm roommate, childhood best friends, confession, rejection, happy ending, reader gets in her head easily but never cries, jake is a sweetheart

having jake as a bestfriend is the best thing possible in the world. the sweet australian boy who always help you for your physic exams or who's being his dog layla when you're on your period. but it's also the worst thing because of random girls asking you for his number or being hugged by him because you're his cute little sister. it's even worse because no boys are hitting on you, being too scared of to hit on the leader soccer team's favorite girl. so you're jsut left to watch your love story inexist, daydreams of kissing jake the only thing you can do.

baby y/nie ? are you listening to me ? he said with a pout when he realized you werent listening to his usual lego rants while doing lego. sorry jaeyunie, i just keep thinking about our last exam, but i'm here now, you say as you try to convince him tho the pet name made you sadder than what your thoughts did. y/n ? youre okay ? his worry overtaking his body, dropping the lego piece comming closer to you, you know im here for you hm ? his round eyes searching yours. yes, i promise yunie ! im sorry for worrying you, please tell me about that star wars lego set ? to pretedn to the fullest youre acrually okay, you finish your sentence with your hand on his cheek, smiling softly at him but it wssbt needed as hearinf the wors star wards and lego set together pearked his imaginary puppy ears. he goes back on the set, talking about how excited he is for the pieces to arrive tomorrow, indirectly asking you to do them with him tomorrow . i'm studying tomorrow yunie, i’m not done yet with the last chapter, you reply with some sadness filling your voice, not believing of what you gonna say next, but you could do it with emma ? he gives you a confused expression that can only warms your heart, emma ? why would i do lego with her ? its our thing baby y/nie, he answers nonchalently, as he places the last piece on his now finishes thor hammer. finally ! its looks so good isnt it ! he shows you the piece finally done, come on we need to put it up, it's the best one we've ever done ! he excitedly said, jumping on his feet to go to his bedroom. you followed smiling to his puppiness but also from his unasked reasurance. wouldn't it be better in the living room ? i want to see it too, you say w round eyes too, genuinely wanting to see you guys work everyday. which he is more than happy to comply, his love for your happiness alwaya taking over when it fomes to you. omg yes ! always having good ideas, y/nie !, kissing your cheek as he goes to tje round tbale in the center of the kivinf room.

it comes to a shock, coming back from classes to see the said emma on the sofa, checking the lego pieces done just a day before. oh hi y/n, i didn't hear you coming, she said staying on the sofa, just turning around, not even greeting you properly. she has that arrogant smile of hers, paired w her high knee boots and mini skirt. you smile back, going straight to your room, studies waiting or you, you know i should thank you for talking about me to jake but it would be hypeocite of me to do so. we all really really hate you, so please, once jake is mine, stop bothering me hm ? she warned me before turning around to reapply your lipgloss. you can't even defend yourself as jake comes back from his room, smiling at you. baby y/nie ? how was your day ? he asked as he comes for a hug. just classes, you know how it is. you ? you hug him tighter to piss emma even more. as much as he will never date you, he is still your jake and everyone knows it, that she likes it or not. dont wait for me tonight, im having dinner with emma. but i made you your usually study snack and ive made a study plan waiting for you on ur desk. please use it well hm ? he softly says, detaching from you, see you later baby y/nie, domt stuyd too late! he says, coming closer to her, not even looking at her but taking the girls hands, making her proudly smile at you, winning the mental battle you both had. he doesnt even see it as he waits for you to bid him goodbye, which you gladly do, not forgetting to add the baby innfromt of his name, makimg him giggle and getting a frown from her. finally gone, you enter your bedroom, plopping on your bed, softly sighing, taking in everything that had happened. why would she hate me ? ive never ever talked to her, but when she asked me his phone number. and who is we ? are the girls threatened by you ? do they think i have a chance with jake ? or even the boys ? that would explain why none of thek ask me out ? but what about him ? is emma even his type ? she is pretty and seems smart but she is also so arrogant and entitle ? cant he see it ? or is it actually what he likes ?

trying to study is useless, your thoughts belonging to jake, you can only take a shower and pray for the best tomorrow. but even as you shampoo your hair, you can't help but think about emma's reaction. was she really scared of you or is it just her usual self ? so you've been standing there, the water hitting your scalp, for 30 minutes, trying to figure out what you should do. if she was really scared of you that means you can actually have a future with jake as your boyfriend. all the baby y/nie or little gesture will come out as romantic and not as his little sister anymore. as you realized you have a chance, you finish your day in peace, eating the snack jake made you, his infamous ramen, heating it up before going the watch a movie on the sofa. it's only mid movie in, you hear the keys in the door, announcing jake's arrival. i'm in living room ! you whisper yell, letting him know of your presence. y/nie ? why are you still awake at this time bby, he say wrapping his arms around your neck, are you done studying, he finally whisper in your ear, making you all fuzzy. not really, but i saw your study plan, i'll read it before sleeping. join me ? the movie is almost done. you offer, your head titling so you can look at him, i also want to cuddle with you and you can tell me about your date ? you ask cutely, knowing jake wouldn't never say no to cuddles with you. anything you want bby, he says with a kiss before detaching himself from your back. he would smile as he lay on your belly, indirectly asking you to play with his hair, which isn't even needed to be asked. he rubs his face on you, almost cat like, and hums finally getting comfortable. did you have a bad day yunie ? you seemed okay earlier. you softly ask, still brushing hair hair. yeah, it's just emma. she isn't how i thought she was and she talked bad about you so im just disappointed. i could never date someone who doesn't like you bye y/nie, you mean to much for me he says, his head finally lift up, looking right at you. besides she is too much of a diva, i prefer someone like you. someone who wouldnt judge me for playing legos or playing with my hair without needing to be asked to, he smiles at you. i'm really lucky to know you y/nie, he finishes, his head finally going back on the rubbing, acting as if those words were normal to be told, but you know jake is someone really vocal, specially to you, but you can't help but hear something else. like he wants you. and more than just friends. me too yunie, im really really happy to have you by my side. besides who wouldn't want to play with your soft hair, i love them so much. you say making the both of you giggle. and it's like that, the day ends, jake laying on you and you playing with his hair, comfort filling the living room.

omg jake wake up ! we're gonna be late for the exam ! is how up you started your day. but you're now, here, almost tearing where you were soothing jake yesterday who is now the one comforting you, which is something you hate the most. i'm okay jake, we don't have to talk about it, let's just order pizza please. jake knows you aren't the type to talk about your feelings, specially when you feel like crying but for some reason today he can't stop pressuring you, come on y/nie baby, we can talk about it. im sure u didn't do that bad, you'll do better next time, he tried to reassure you, his hand coming to your hair, stroking it. jake, you said, going back, leaving a inch between the two of you, i do not want to talk about it. are you gonna order them or should i do it, you reply almost too coldly. y/n please, i know you, you don't have to keep it in. i'm sorry you feel disappoint- if you know me you'd know i don't want to talk about it nor do i enjoy being in this position right now, jake, you cut him off leaving the living room to go in your bed room, leaving a sad puppy by himself. you feel awful for snapping at him, but you couldn't help it as your nerves are already hanging w a thin thread because of that exam. and having jake all over you, interrogate you with question over your feelings is too much.

you didn't realized you zoned out, right here, sitting up on the edge of your bed, until you hear jake's knock on your door, y/n ? can you open the door please ? you hear a scared jake on the other side of the door, yeah come in, making him enter your bedroom. he never looked this sad, your best friend never wanted to make you sad or be the cause of your distress. ive ordered the pizzas do you want some ? he softly ask, slowly coming towards you, scared to do the wrong thing. it's in the kitchen if you do want it. he is finally in front of you, kneeling up to see your face. i'm sorry if i pressured you, y/nie, i know you don't like being vulnerable. i don't know why i pressured you. he softly tells, his finger lifting your chin to look at him. my apologize baby. he finishes with his eyes asking for forgiveness. i'm so sorry too, i shouldn't have lashed out on you, you say as you throw your arms around you. you're always so so nice to me, i shouldn't have snapped at you. i'm sorry jake, you really dont deserve it, as your arms thigthens around his neck. hearing you, only made his heart sadden, he picks you up by your thighs, to make you more comfy in the bed w a come on baby,let's get you comfy. you can only giggle to that making his heart and mind happy again. once settled, your head on his chest, his on your pillow, a comfortable silence falls upon the both of you. his arms encircling you and his thumbs softly stroking your skin, his soft scent filling up your nose, made you feel such at peace. cuddling with jake is always so calming and comforting and it's somehow making you fearless to tell him your true feelings. jaeyunie ? you say looking up to him, asking for his attention. hm ? he just replies , already looking at you. always looking at you. i feel really good with you. i love being in your arms or playing with your hair. you're confident jake likes you back, he wouldn't be here if he didn't right ? me too y/nie baby, me too, he softly chuckled, happy that you arent mad at him anymore. no jake i mean it, i love it all. youre so nice, and smart and i just can't help but want to be more than your best friend. you expected to see a jake smiling at you, but you're faced with a jake with a confused furrowed brows. what ? as he detach himself from you, to actually look at you, looking for any joke in your face. i hate it when you go on dates with others girl or when you call me baby because im a year younger than you, i want to be the one holding your arm on friday nights or being called baby because you like me as your gf, you explain yourself, the end of the your phrase said in a whisper. and the once comfortable silence became anxious to you, jake processing your tirade. do you not feel the same way ? you asked scared of his verdict, but that only made him leave the room, shock overtaking him.

since then jake been avoiding you. the once nights fulled of braiding jake's hair and legos are now replaced with the living room empty, the light always turned off. jake spent his time either at practice or in his room, even avoided you in the kitchen, going in when you leave or leaving you when you go in. you on the other hand, is busying yourself with studies trying to do your best for the next final but it's mostly to stay in denial of your current situation. you've lost your best friend, and every time you come out of your room, the thor hammer keeps reminding you of it. he even stopped offering his help for any studies, or prepared you any study snacks. he stopped looking at you or mentioning you. the girls also stopped coming to you for his number, sensing the shift of your dynamic with him, but going straight to him. it even more painful now to see so many dolled up girls all over him, all of them knowing you aren't in the picture anymore. so here you are, spending a friday night by yourself after the long week full of studying n repressing your feelings. you know jake isn't going to be here tonight, surely in one of many dates he has, so you snuggle yourself on the couch along with snack you bought yourself earlier. but it came to a surprise, to see jake arriving at 7pm. he stops when he sees the tv light on, not knowing if he should greet you or not. he simply stay frozen, the both of you staring at each other, but like a week ago, he leaves you alone, going into his bedroom. and you thought all of this didnt affected you that much, but as you have nothing to focus on anymore, you can only cry, right there, in front of the movie you picked earlier, for the first time in a long time.

the tears keep failling down as the movie goes by, the tv light the only thing linking your mind and reality together, you can't even hear how loud you are. your sobs doesn't go unnoticed by jake, coming out of his room. you don't even hear his first y/n ? your back the only thing he can see. he never saw you nor hear you crying, and the scene in front of you is way too funny to make you cry. so he calls again, louder, with no answers but the slightest from the movie. he tries one last time, with a hand touching your shoulder, making you leave that weird trance you were in. jake ? you say as you wipe your tears. wha- what do you want ? you ask, failing to pretend that you are okay. he doesn't reply right away, coming to sit next to you. he opens his arm, a sign of an invitation not sure if you're okay with it or not, but still wanting to offer. you on the other hand were craving his touch, so you juts crawl on his lap, hand clenching on his hoodie, tears automatically coming back.

he lets you cry for a while, still trying to soothe you with hair strocks and shhh, even rocking you side to side but as he seems your tears don't fade away, his hands leaves your hair to hold gently the both side of your face, y/nie look at me please, he whisper. but as you can't even dare to look at him, a mix of shame and sadness filling your body, he'd just start kissing your tears. come on y/nie,as he keeps on pecking your face, i want to tell you something but i need you to look at me first, the long time per names finally coming back. you slowly turn your eyes to his, only to see adoration on his, speaking silently to you. i am so sorry of how i reacted this entire week. i was so shock when you told me you liked me, i genuinely saw you like my little sister, my long time bestfriend i've always had. i couldn't possibly imagine myself dating you. but i should have told you that instead of being a dumb ass. and then i felt so so ashame, i couldn't even face you in the kitchen. how i could i make the most important person in my life,so sad and, he stops, a hand coming to his hair, trying to find his words, i just couldn't bear it anymore. that time away from you made me realize that i in fact like you too y/nie. i cant live without you baby. who will i do my legos with ? or go home to, to have my hair played with ? or eat my not so good ramen whne i make them, he says between chuckles, making you laugh too. what i wanna say is that, i dont want any of those activites to be done with anyone else. i just want you y/n.

notes : hai anon, i've never written any fic before, n im not even gonna talk about the angst, i hope it feeds you well tho > < i actually didn't want to write it as i don't write anything fictional but i somehow liked ur request so here it is <3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🍓୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ tag list : @dreamiestay @jakesprincess1

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[lokisgoodgirl]

Home Truths: The Lakes [Loki x Reader]

The Lakes Masterlist / Regular Masterlist Summary: (4) Loki is given a shake, and the four of you hit up the local supermarket. Warnings: Minors DNI. Ex-Loki. Major Satchelage. Humour. Brotherly/ Domestic fluff. Smut references. Mild angst. Pining. (w/c 4.5k) Recommended Folklore Track: Hoax

The rain hadn’t stopped. You’d spent the next few hours limping between rooms, keeping busy, stealing glances out the droplet-streaked windows where you could.

Where was he?

The kiss had lingered on your lips. The taste of Loki absorbing into cracks of delicate skin like water in thirsty soil. Nobody knew where the god had disappeared to in the early hours, allegedly.

What's more, they didn't seem surprised.

It had been another two hours before Loki returned holding a string of thoroughly deceased rabbits.

He stalked through the front door, turning abruptly into the kitchen and lowering them to the dining table with a macabre series of thumps.

“Holy Moses-” Steve scoffed disapprovingly, folding his arms.

The kettle began to whistle on the stove as Loki paraded to the cupboard. He pulled out a mug sporting a large yellow bear with an eyepatch.

“I saw no reason why our ‘education’ need be stifled by a mild weather-tantrum” he drawled, gesturing to the window before plucking a teabag from the tin. He glanced back to you as you leant against the kitchen doorframe. His eyes narrowed. There was no hint there of what had passed between you only hours before. It made you sad. But not surprised. “Don’t you agree, Agent?” he purred. Thor emerged by your shoulder.

“What the-?” his eyes fell on the limp pile of fur adorning the plastic tablecloth; gasping sharply. “Hodorekorn, brother?” His excitement was electric. Loki shook his head. “Alas, no brother. Rabbits. But much the same to ensnare.” The god tilted his head as he poured from the kettle, throwing Steve a wink. “See, Rogers?” he smirked. “I am not completely useless.”

Thor’s arm stretched above your head, pressing his hand against the frame. “It took you four hours to capture five hodorekorn?” He chuckled wrly. “Rusty indeed, brother.” “Rabbits.” Loki corrected, stirring his tea.

Steve swallowed, eyeing the bundle. “What are we supposed to do with ‘em?” he said, regretting the words as soon as they were spoken. “Skin them, and cook them of course!” Thor’s boom filled the tiny kitchen.

Steve gagged.

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread. Loki’s eyes met yours, giving the smallest nod. “Yeah, we can do that” you said, “good thinking Thor. Steve? How about you take the first one? Dealer’s choice.”

Steve clapped a hand to his mouth, pushing Thor into you in a hasty sprint to the bathroom. Dry wretches followed as the three remaining Avengers descended into laughter.

Tears streamed down Thor’s face while you doubled over, clinging to his forearm. Even Loki’s demure overtures of mirth rumbled across the linoleum, although you were certain that it was the sight of you and his brother that was the cause rather than the captain’s overdramatic heaves. Just like the old days, you thought with a pang. Thor wiped his face, catching his breath while there was a pause in the theatrics from the bathroom. For a moment, silence. And then... ‘Heuuuuuurgh-’

You and Thor looked at each other with simultaneous disbelief, the following whoop of laughter utterly uncontrollable. Loki took a sip of tea before placing it down, walking silently to the table. He tilted the chin of a rabbit towards him, frowning.

“We really should skin these brother,” he said sharply, “they will lose succulence otherwise.” You looked up through misty eyes, the release making you forget everything else. Loki had bristled, his mood altered somehow. Thor caught his breath beside you, panting heavily. “I- I can show you how,” you gasped as you wiped a trail from your eyes. Loki waved a dismissive hand. “No need. My brother and I are not quite as incapable as Rogers would have you believe.” Thor’s brow furrowed, shaking his head lightly in your direction. Don’t mind him, it said. “Outside or inside?” you asked, reaching for your jacket on the hall hook. It was still wet. “Outside,” Loki said with finality. His eyes flew to your hand, resting on the anorak. “Your presence is not required, Agent. My brother and I are perfectly capable, as I said.” He shot a piercing glance to Thor. The blonde swallowed.

“Uhhh...yes. Indeed, yes – brother, lead the way.” Loki breezed between you, stooping gently at the door-frame as a slick waxed Barbour unfurled over his lithe body. It hung to his thighs, the taut curve of his muscled ass shifting. The ghost of his knuckles grazed your palm as he passed. Accidentally, you were sure.

Thor lingered by the coat-hooks, shoving an arm brutishly through the sleeve of a particularly beaten-looking yellow raincoat. The material creaked menacingly as he hoisted it up his biceps.

There’s no way that is zipping closing, you thought – half watching the outline of Loki pacing towards the small hut at the edge of the cottage boundary.

Thor threw a look over his shoulder, checking Loki was out of earshot. He tugged the sides of the raincoat down. The edges lined perfectly with his nipples. Rain fell vertically outside the open door, a gush from the awning gutter pooling around the doorstep.

“He probably wishes to recount his version of what happened last night,” Thor said in hushed tones. Hushed for him, anyway. “What do you-” Thor waved a hand, eyes closed to your protestation. “Sister, please – the neighbours over yonder valley likely heard the commotion my brother’s intransigence provoked. Rogers and I heard everything.” The strap of your backpack hanging on the rack suddenly became very interesting.

“I’m not your sister, not anymore. Never was – technically” you heard yourself say, avoiding his inquiring eyes.

Pursing your lips, you scratched a nail down the strap’s weave. Thor squeaked as he shuffled closer, constrained arms wrapping around your shoulders with difficulty.

Breath heaved from your lungs as he pulled you tight. “You’ll always be my sister, sister” he smiled, resting his chin on your hair.

“If these last decades taught me anything, it is that blood relation is the least important quality.” He placed a kiss on top of your head. “Now, I must depart, and entertain my brother’s lukewarm justification for his boorishness.”

He turned, throwing a ridiculous pointed yellow hood up with a flourish.

“And skin some rabbits, of course” he projected loudly, throwing you a calculated wink. From behind the bathroom door, Steve wretched again.

Loki flung the rabbits on the small bench squeezed in the corner of the hut. A ragged door hung from its hinges. If he wasn’t sure it would disintegrate, he would have slammed it. He didn’t know what to think.

Growth, he surmised, was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

He pushed his hair back from his face, the wet slick that met his hand more familiar now than he would like.

“That was rude, Loki” Thor rumbled, shaking himself like a dog in the doorway. “Hardly,” Loki snapped, casting a disparaging look in the speaker’s direction. He felt a snarl curl at the corners of his mouth at the sight of his brother spilling from the tiny yellow raincoat. “And you look ridiculous.” Loki sat abruptly on the bench, turning his attention to the rabbits. He divided them out. Three for himself, two for Thor. His brother was slower. Always had been. “It was rude,” Thor repeated, squeezing himself to the bench on the other side of the sad bundle. Loki slid a small hunting knife over in silence. Hadn’t used them in years, he realised.

Not years, Loki thought. Centuries.

Perhaps more. The shuffle of fur coming skilfully away from muscle rustled the air.

“You’ll never win her back being like that, you know” Thor murmured, drawing the knife respectfully around the rabbit’s hindquarters. Loki scoffed in spite of himself.

“Who says I wish to win her back?” he huffed, laying the first completed rabbit on a clean cloth by his side. Despite stoic intent, he found himself looking up to meet his brother’s incredulous stare.

“What?” Loki said sharply.

Thor released a theatrical shrug, rabbit swinging. “Oh I don’t know brother-” he started, laden with sarcasm.

“Something about your perpetual hangdog expression, insufferable lovelorn mooning and thwarted midnight attempts at seduction led me to believe there could perhaps be something more at play.” He tapped the half-skinned rabbit against his temple. “Not just a helmet-hold, brother” he drawled.

“It was barely ten pm,” Loki muttered petulantly, busying his hands. They continued in silence, before Thor cleared his throat. “What did you wish to speak to me about, if not that?” “It was that, you cretin. But I wish not to discuss it anymore.” “Your feelings for her?” “They have never been in question, brother. You know that.” “Yes.” “Well.” Loki snapped with finality. “Well?” “Her feelings towards me. Her concerns, the ones that broke us...she was, right.” He faltered, grateful for the pause Thor held while he gathered his thoughts. “She told me I was hurting her, and I cared not. And I know not why. At the time, her protestations seemed unreasonable.”

The confession hung around his neck like a ceremonial amulet. Heavy, powerful. “And now?” his brother probed quietly, concentrating on his work.

“Who am I, Thor?” Loki whispered, peeling the fur back from the delicate soul in his hands before stopping. “Who am I if not who I have been for centuries? Millennia?”

“People change, Loki” Thor said quietly, reaching for his brother’s hand. Loki looked up, brows peaked softly.

“But brother, we are not ‘people’. Are we?” Thor was silent. Sympathy swam in the depths of his eyes, darkened by the gloom of the cabin. Rain hit the roof. Loki was glad of it, filling the empty silence. “I’m trying,” was all Loki could muster.

“I’ve noticed,” Thor replied cautiously. “As has she, I suspect. But the palace of Asgard was not built in a day.” “She kissed me,” Loki hummed quietly, staring at the bundle in his lap. “This morning.” “Ah,” his brother hummed mysteriously.

The blonde drew his hand away from where it sat atop Loki’s. He flipped the knife, inspecting the ornate handle. “Do you remember when father gave us these?” he said thoughtfully, a smile stretching across his face. Loki frowned, gazing at his own knife. “The summer with the-” “- Haugan sisters.” They both paused, sighing simultaneously at the wall. Thor shook his head, waving nostalgia from the air. “Father said that they symbolised our transition to maturity. Protection, sustenance, a connection to our roots Loki.” Loki closed his eyes, summoning the memory. The grass was long that endless summer, a log cabin with a stone chimney that dwarfed the exterior. A cabin that had no right to be where it was – and yet, “Loki?” He opened his eyes, meeting his brother’s. In that moment, they could have been three-hundred again.

The blonde god flipped the knife back to position. “Your problem, brother, is that you spend too much time worrying about what you think you should be, rather than what you are.” “And what am I, brother?” Loki bristled, laying his second rabbit down by the side.

“Someone who’s afraid to be loved” Thor said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He pulled the final tug of fur from his charge. “Ah-Ha!” he smiled, turning. “Thank you,” Loki said quietly, cradling the offering and placing it with the others.

“All she wants,” Thor murmured, his concentration fixed on the second rabbit in his lap, “is you. The real you. The one that I know. But maybe one who listens better. And not the mural version, or the lore from battle tales...” He paused, before a sly grin stretched his lips. “Well, perhaps sometimes...if you catch my drift.”

"What if he is not enough?" Loki whispered. He wasn't sure if Thor heard him.

His brother's face had become serious again. He was on a roll. “To feel that your lover sees himself as superior to you in every way? Takes any opportunity to remind one of that? To never try to adapt to a reasonable request? I can see how it can become tiresome.” He shook his head, frowning. “Mother would never have put up with that nonsense. Why should she?”

“Indeed,” Loki muttered softly. He placed his third rabbit to the side as a sigh rattled his chest. His brother was making far too much sense for his liking these days. “Fear not, brother” Thor rumbled as he leant over, a conspiratorial glint in his eye. “I have a cunning plan. A kiss this morning is most welcome news.” “It was a strange situation. She knew not what she did- it would not have ended well, it-”

Loki’s eyes widened in horror, realisation blossoming. “A cunning what-?” There was a knock on the hut door.

Suddenly, Loki realised that the rain had stopped. Your face popped around the corner. Loki straightened, wiping his hands on his Barbour.

“Steve and I are driving into town” you said, casting glances between the gods sitting hunched on the rotten bench. “Want to come?” Thor propped his fists beneath his chin, smiling obscenely. “Oh, please, brother!?” Loki thought about rolling his eyes, before stopping himself. He pursed his lips instead. “Certainly. Although I am surprised considering-” “We’ll be ‘undercover’, obviously” you cut with air-quotes, glancing backwards. “Apparently Steve needs something from the shops. He seems a bit flustered. The nearest one is pretty small but…” Your head disappeared again, only delicate fingers remaining curled around the door’s ragged edge. He had the sudden urge to protect them from rogue splinters. Loki frowned, noting an impish smile had worryingly taken up residence on his brother's face. “-Yes, I’ll...yes I’ll tell them.” Loki and Thor looked to each other warily, before you appeared again. “Steve says wash your hands,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “And lose the yellow slicker” you nodded to Thor.

From the assortment of abandoned jackets hanging bushel-like in the hallway, they had managed to find one for Thor that wasn’t quite as conspicuous. The 3XL puffer jacket spread around him like a navy cloud.

Steve turned abruptly, eyeing Thor and Loki in the back of the Fiat. A hiss squeezed from the puffer every time Thor fidgeted. “Where am I supposed to put my legs?” Loki muttered scathingly. “This thing has gotten smaller since the drive here.” Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Speaking of magic-” he said, taking his time. “It seems that some of my personal items have gone missing.” Loki glanced at his brother, brows peaked as Steve continued. Thor’s gaze wandered out the window, following a passing bird. “We need to pick up some supplies, like bacon – that’s the cover with her,” he thumbed backwards, “since someone ate the whole week's ration.” Steve’s judgemental gaze swung towards a distracted Thor.

“But on the sly, keep your peepers open for some…” he cast a wary glance out the front windscreen, seeing you locking up the cottage. “-Unmentionables.” “Condoms?” Loki quipped factitiously. Steve flushed. “No, Laufeyson” he hissed, tone frantic as you crunched towards the car. “Rogers underwear has mysteriously vanished, brother” Thor chuckled. “One minute they were lined up in the suitcase, all thirty-six pairs. The next-” he made a whooshing gesture. “Thirty-six?” Loki mouthed incredulously. “Christ, Rogers. Did you intend on soiling yourself thrice daily?” The god twisted towards his smirking brother. “What did you do to them?” “Me? Tis not I who suspicion has fallen on, brother” Thor gasped, pressing his fingers innocently to his chest. Loki rolled his eyes, and this time – he meant it. “Well it wasn’t me.” Loki huffed, folding his arms as Steve’s stare pinballed between them. “I have better things to do. And besides, what fetid joy would I gain from such a waste of-”

You pulled the car handle with a jerk, noting all three men inside bristle and straighten in a way that could be considered nothing short of suspicious.

“Everything okay?” you murmured, settling into the driver’s seat. They nodded in silence.

Thor’s jacket hissed.

“That better not be a parp, Odinson” Steve muttered, followed by the low buzz of a lowering window. You adjusted the mirror, meeting Loki’s eyes and quickly looking away. “Okay,” you sighed to yourself. “Let’s do this.”

The comforting Tesco Express sign glowed in mid-afternoon gloom.

It was barely three, and yet it may as well be sundown. Clouds still smothered the sky, hanging low and ominous over the town’s uneven rooftops. You pulled into a parking spot outside, thanking the powers that be it was quiet. Steve cleared his throat, digging into the breast of his raincoat. He produced four mismatched caps, jamming one low on his brow before handing out the rest. “I don’t think I need to remind you to exercise caution. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t draw attention to yourself, and if anyone asks – we’re just four pals from out of town here for some good ol’ fashioned cottaging.” You wrinkled your nose. “That doesn’t mean what you-” “May we begin this expedition so that it might end sooner?” Loki drawled. With no warning, Thor farted.

The captain’s eyes widened. “Get out...get out!” he gagged. It was the fastest evacuation of a hatchback you had ever witnessed. Thor was last, his cheeks pink. “All the bacon,” he explained sheepishly while pushing the seat forward. You took Thor’s arm, letting the puff of his jacket warm your chilled fingers. While the god’s wide eyes inspected the snack chiller inside the door, you saw a non-nonchalant Loki meander straight to the checkout followed by a jumpy Steve.

The captain hung back, picking up a packet of gingerbread men and inspecting it over a pair of sunglasses.

Loki drummed his fingers on the counter, smiling wryly as a member of staff appeared from the back. “Hi, with you in one second-” they said, holding up a finger before disappearing again. Loki murmured pleasantries, adjusting the cap holding the stuff of his hair. “What are you doing?!” Steve hissed. Loki caught a musty waft of his own waxed jacket as he turned, shooting Rogers a perishing glare.

“You’re the one that has us looking as though we intend to rob the place. Hush,” Loki hissed back. Steve snapped back to the nutritional information as the Tesco worker re-surfaced. “Sorry about that,” they said.

Loki released a dazzling forced smile. “Do you happen to have any mens undergarments in this” he raised his palms, searching for an accurate descriptor, “place?” The man on the other side of the counter frowned. “Like, underwear? No...you’d need to go to one of the bigger stores for that kind of thing.” Loki stared at him. “There’s one in Millom?” the man added nervously, making the sides of Loki’s eyes crinkle before his features softened. “I see,” he purred, tilting his head. “How unfortunate.” “Anything else I can help with?” the mortal asked. Loki sighed thoughtfully, rocking on his heels.

“One package of,” he squinted at the shelf behind the counter. “Durex Extra Safe, if you would.” The heat from Steve’s cheeks radiated the short distance from the bakery display. There was the squeak of a shoe, the telling crack of biscuit as the captain’s sensibilities floundered. Behind the counter, the man turned without a second thought, reaching up before glancing back. “Pack of three or pack of twelve?” he asked.

Loki smirked. “Pack of three or pack of twelve, darling?” he crooned to Steve, whose face had flushed an alarming shade of beetroot. He turned back to face the cashier. “Pack of twelve.” Loki winked.

You couldn’t hear what what transpiring at the check-out, but the shade of Steve’s skin gave the distinct impression it wasn’t on script. The oblivious shop worker reached up, bringing down a box and handing it to Loki who parted with a crisp twenty pound note. Where did he get cash, you thought; before realising what the box was. Are those...

“Agent, look-” Thor exclaimed beside you as he held out an oblong package. “Party Rings,” he said smugly, “If ever there was a snack made for I, tis this – surely.” You muttered a quick uh-huh, stalking down the aisle to where blustery Steve was busying himself picking up a random assortment of foodstuffs piled high in his arms. “Steve?” you said warily as you removed three packets of bacon and a tub of yoghurt. It revealed his face, still flushed and sweaty.

“Laufeyson bought...prophylactics,” Steve rasped as his eyes darted around the empty aisle.

“I saw,” you responded sympathetically while the captain shook his head. “In broad daylight too” he added, narrowing his eyes over your shoulder.

The increasingly erotic scent of waxed Barbour jacket filled your nostrils. “Got everything?” your ex quipped. Steve’s lips flapped, forming words that didn’t come. He released a goose-like hiss instead. You quickly unloaded the rest of the groceries from his hands, spilling them into Thor’s basket just as he parked himself beside you. “What’s happening?” Thor said. Crumbs from a ravaged pack of Party Rings clung to his beard. Loki continued, unperturbed.

“I’m sorry they didn’t have your unmentionables, Rogers. But nevermind – not a totally wasted trip.” He tossed the box of condoms to Steve who caught them out of instinct. “Oh, Extra Safe – excellent choice,” Thor rumbled far too loudly. “And a necessity, for my brother and I – nothing else seems to hold the force of our seed without making quite the mess-” he cast a knowing glance to you. “She knows,” he winked. Steve looked between the gods, aghast. Thor produced a chicken drumstick from his pocket, taking a casual bite. “Are you the same, Rogers?” he said, chewing thoughtfully. “I imagine you must be with all that super-whatjit-serum business.” There was silence. “Oh, right” Thor laughed awkwardly. “Well, you never know...this trip might be the one.” He slapped Steve on the back, chortling.

“Stop calling me Rogers…” Rogers whispered. He looked like he was in shock, staring at the pack of twelve condoms in his hands. “Someone might…” Steve’s face paled as catastrophic images fell into place inside his head. A picture of him on the homepage of every gossip site there was, holding a box of French Letters in Tesco Express like a pervert. He stuffed them in his pocket.

“Let’s pay for this stuff and go.” he said firmly.

“Excuse me?” a voice creaked from further up the aisle. The four of you broke your huddle, battle-stances activated.

An old man shuffled closer, the tap of his walking stick echoing on the polished floor. “What should we do, Agent?” Thor muttered out the corner of his mouth. Your face softened, looking the geriatric up and down. “He’s clean, just an old dude,” you said. Steve tutted beside you. “Could be a disguise.” “A disguise?!” you hissed. “Excuse me, are you-” the old man started, before stopping in a haze of coughing. You began to step towards him, but Steve’s arm flew out to stop you. Four sets of eyes watched the man pick up pace, rubber end of his cane tap tap tapping on the floor as his crinkled gaze widened. It swept between the tall figures before him. Recognition. “Code Amber. Breach. Do something normal,” Steve whispered in panic. Without missing a beat, Thor lifted a sandwich carton from the basket and held in front of his face.

You turned, colliding with Loki’s chest. “Follow my lead,” he growled as he yanked you around the end of the aisle.

Before you could protest, he had you caged against a row of toilet paper. Matt plastic packaging cushioned the back of your head while Loki’s forearm pressed against the face of a sweet looking puppy. “This is normal... isn’t it?” Loki breathed, eyes flickering nervously from your shocked expression to where Steve was checking the expiry date on milk.

You stared up at him, fighting the urge to inhale deeply against the hollow of his neck with all your strength. Pine and smoked cedarwood and that fucking wax jacket. Loki's throat bobbed, working anxiously as the elderly gentleman bypassed the strange man holding a sandwich in front of his eyes. He was gaining on Steve. He's actually worried, you realised. “Move, Rogers” Loki grit, frowning as the intruder finally tapped an undercover captain on the shoulder. The god's eyes widened earnestly. It made you want to sink onto your knees.

The bow of Loki’s jawline was strained, veins tight and pulsing like they did when he was about to cum down your throat; his eyes pleading and needy, mouth open and- You swallowed. Letting your fingers clasp around the rough material of his open jacket, you tugged it gently. “It’s just an old man,” you whispered. Loki tilted his head, seemingly just realising the position he had manoeuvred you into. A gulp made his throat stiffen, then relax.

“Two old men,” he hummed, mirth warming his eyes. You smiled, and so did he.

Loki shuffled closer, his breath mingling with yours. He glanced towards the scene unfolding one aisle over, wetted lips hovering dangerously close to your own.

“Update,” he purred playfully, “the decrepit man has asked Rogers to get something from a high shelf. He has obliged.”

You pursed your lips with an approving nod, hoping Loki couldn’t smell the adrenaline seeping through your pores. “And my brother is still the village madman.”

A giggle escaped you, before the pad of Loki’s index finger smothered it gently. He leant close, your foreheads touching conspiratorially as silent laughter made his chest shake. His mouth creased in a soft smile, rolling the bottom lip beneath the top. “Shhh, you’ll get us in trouble,” he murmured in a way that made your soul leave your body. You wondered if he was hardening beneath his trousers right now. He would have, before. Maybe – if last night was anything to go by. But your awkward kiss this morning flashed back with frightening clarity, the hard look in his eyes as he said the only word that ever seemed to matter. Go. Don't be an idiot, you thought bitterly. Your hands slipped from their rest on his jacket, catching briefly on his belt. Loki watched them fall.

“Me in trouble,” he corrected, face stiffening. You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Thor’s face peered around the corner, a half eaten ploughman’s sandwich in his grasp. “Time to leave before Rogers goes into cardiac arrest,” he chuckled, nudging his head towards Steve loitering jerkily by the door.

“Can you pay for these?” Thor said, holding out the basket. Empty packets lay nestled amongst the survivors. “You’re the least famous.” You rolled your eyes, nodding up towards Loki. “That sounds like something he would say,” you quipped without thinking. Loki’s brow furrowed. He let the protective arm resting above your head fall without a second glance, striding the long way around towards the exit. Thor took another bite of sandwich. He shrugged, before following his brother. But he didn’t, you thought with a stab of guilt as the three of them disappeared into the street.

The glow of the Fiat’s lock lights flashed. He didn’t.

--> Continued in Chapter Five, A Cunning Plan

Tags

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[cinnabunwanda]

I CANT HELP BUT LOVE YOU OKAY? ˗ˏˋ꒰ WANDA . MAXIMOFF꒱

content warning — Angst, Jealousy, Unwanted kiss

pairing — Fem reader x Wanda Maximoff

summary — Maria and Natasha argue over past relationships, while Natasha shares her feelings for Maria and advises Nat, a spy, to give it a chance. Natasha admits she needs Maria, while Bucky shares his first love experience.

word count — 1k

Maria and I are lounging on the plush couch in the main room, bathed in the soft glow of Netflix playing on the television. But our peaceful afternoon is quickly interrupted as Maria begins angrily chiding me for purposely trying to annoy her. It's not like I have anything better to do with my day since Wanda is out on a date with the robot.

"Y/n, can't you just go bother someone else?" Maria groans into the cushions of the couch.

"Why would I do that when I can just annoy you?" I giggle mischievously.

She retaliates by throwing a pillow at my head, causing me to dramatically fall off the couch and onto the floor. Maria bursts into a fit of laughter, finding humor in my clumsy theatrics.

"Ria, seriously!" I groan in mock pain.

"I wish I got that on video!" Maria continues to cackle.

I dust myself off and stand up, rolling my eyes at her. I plop down on the opposite couch from her, huffing in annoyance.

"What are you two up to?" Natasha saunters into the room, her signature smirk playing on her lips.

"Maria is abusing me, that's what!" I tattle on Maria.

Natasha's smile widens as she playfully leans over towards Maria. I can tell Maria is getting flustered by Natasha's flirtatious demeanor, and I find it absolutely adorable.

"Is this true, Hill?" Natasha asks with a tilt of her head.

"No- I mean yes, it is true, Romanoff," Maria stumbles over her words, trying to play it cool under Natasha's gaze.

As tensions rise between them, I nonchalantly interrupt their exchange with a question out of the blue.

"Have you two ever hooked up?"

Both women snap their heads towards me as if I had just shot them. Maria's eyes bulge out of her head while Natasha sports a cheeky grin.

"NO, GOD NO! Y/N, WE ARE JUST COLLEAGUES!" Maria blurts out in a panic.

Natasha's smile fades and she removes herself from the couch, adjusting her posture.

"Yeah, um, we haven't, no. As Maria said, we are just... colleagues," Natasha responds with a hint of sadness in her voice.

She turns and walks away, leaving me and Maria alone once again. This time, it's me tossing the pillow at Maria's head.

"Ow! What was that for?" She whines.

"What was that for? Are you kidding me? You just completely offended Nat! Colleagues, Ria? Not even friends? She had a huge smile on her face and then you say that!" I scold her.

Maria falls silent and looks towards the hallway where Natasha exited. She covers her face with her hands and groans before quickly getting up from the couch and running down the hallway, presumably to find Natasha.

"I am the Goddess of Love, I swear!" I mutter to myself as I rise from the couch and make my way over to the kitchen island.

"Well, I can't argue with that," Sam chuckles as he enters with Thor and Bucky trailing behind him.

"Lady Y/n isn't the Goddess of Love? Are you Lady Y/n?" Thor asks me as he takes a seat on one of the chairs in front of the counter.

"No, Thor, of course she is. She set up Tony and Pepper, Peter and MJ. Oh, and my personal favorite - she found her own soulmate with a robot!" Bucky adds sarcastically.

My eyes widen at the mention of Wanda. I hit Bucky's arm but end up hitting his metal one instead.

"Oops...wrong arm," I mutter, my thoughts drifting towards Wanda and the happiness she has found with Vision.

The word "Fuck" slipped out of my mouth, escaping on a groan under my breath.

"You know what you and Wanda should be doing? But instead, you blew that up. Just like the hard drive, just like the robot you set Wanda up with," Sam's voice cut in, filled with frustration and annoyance.

I winced as I held my hand in pain from where I had slammed it against the wall. "Can you guys please keep it down? I don't need Wanda overhearing this," I groaned.

But Thor's booming voice couldn't be contained. "Wait, so Lady Y/n likes Miss Witchy?" he asked incredulously.

I rolled my eyes, feeling exasperated. These guys are practically begging for Wanda to hear our conversation. Bucky simply nodded in agreement.

"What are you going to do about it, Lady Y/n?" Thor prodded as he casually picked up an apple.

"There's nothing I can do, Thor. She loves Vision and not me," I sighed dejectedly.

Suddenly, Natasha walked into the room, breaking the tension. I gave everyone a look that clearly said "don't say anything." Natasha scanned the room with her sharp eyes, but no one spoke. She was a spy after all - she could probably figure out we were hiding something. She opened her mouth to speak but I quickly interjected.

"Oh hey Nat, did you know Maria was looking for you?" I said with a forced smile.

Natasha didn't miss a beat. "Oh really? That's nice," she replied with a hint of sadness in her voice.

I knew she wanted to say something more, but before she could speak again I stopped her. "Hey listen, Nat. I'm going to give you some advice and you can take it or leave it. But trust me, it's coming from someone who knows what it's like to have a crush on someone who ends up with someone else. Don't make the same mistake I did and keep denying your feelings for Maria. She loves you, more than she loves me even. And I know I have feelings for you too, but not in the same way. Just give it a chance, what's the worst that can happen? You fall in love? You build a relationship together? Just go for it, or at least admit how you feel because I'm tired of watching you both deny your true feelings," I said firmly, my hand making a small bang as it hit the table.

Natasha was silent for a moment before she walked over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back and she whispered into my ear, "Thank you Y/n/n. I love you too."

I squeezed her a little tighter before letting go. Sam and Thor left to help Natasha find Maria while Bucky stayed with me in the main room.

"You're a good person, Y/n. If Wanda can't see that, then it's her loss. You don't need her," Bucky tried to comfort me.

"But that's where you're wrong, Buck. I do need her. I'm addicted to her like a drug. She just doesn't love me back in the same way. But that's okay, I can love her from a distance," I explained, my voice filled with sadness.

"It's hard to get over your first love, always is," Bucky placed his hand on my shoulder in understanding.

I let out a heavy sigh and leaned into him, allowing myself to release some of the weight off my shoulders. He wrapped his arm around me in a comforting side hug.

"How did you get over yours?" I asked him curiously, hoping he could give me some advice.

Bucky hesitated before responding softly, "I don't think I ever really did."

Bucky's warm breath tickled my ear as he spoke, his deep voice fading into the night air. I could feel his heartache and understanding in his embrace. "I only got over mine recently and I am very old Y/n, you just have to move on and live your life the way you want to without them," he sighed, sending shivers down my spine.

"It was Steve right? Your first?" I looked up at him with a knowing gaze.

"Yes, it was. Actually, how did you know?" He asked, his blue eyes searching mine.

"Then you didn't get over him. I know you're trying to comfort me, but no need to lie to me Bucky. You love him and you and I both know that," I explained gently.

He unwrapped himself from our embrace and gave me a look that begged for understanding. But instead of showing sympathy, I sent him my famous smirk.

"I am not in love with Steve anymore, Y/n," Bucky insisted, standing his ground.

"Mmmhh hmmm, like I believe that," I giggled, looking up at him with a teasing glint in my eye.

"I'm serious! I can prove it," he replied quickly, determination set in his features.

"There's no point, Bucky. I know you-" Before I could finish my sentence, Bucky cut me off with a kiss.

For a moment, I was in shock and didn't respond. When realization hit me, I pulled away and wiped my lips in shock.

"I told you I didn't love Steve anymore," Bucky whispered, breathless from our brief kiss.

"Bucky, why would you kiss me? You know I love someone else. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression," I said in shock.

"Come on Y/n, we would be great together! We make each other laugh, we understand each other, we both went through Hydra. Wanda has someone else, let me be your someone else," Bucky pleaded, grabbing both of my hands in his.

"I can't, Bucky. I'm sorry-" I started to walk away, but Bucky grabbed my wrist.

"Y/n, I CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE YOU OKAY?" He screamed in my face, his frustration and desperation evident in his voice.

I stood there frozen in fear for a moment, never having seen Bucky so angry before. I pulled myself away from his grip and he immediately began apologizing.

"I am so, so sorry. I-I didn't mean to yell," he stammered, trying to apologize and follow me.

"No, stop Bucky. Leave me alone," I pushed him away, tears welling up in my eyes. "HEY, BACK OFF!" Wanda's voice echoed through the room.

She ran over and placed herself between me and Bucky, her powers already at work as red wisps formed around her fingers. Her eyes glowed with anger as she faced off against Bucky.

"Please stop, Wanda. I'm fine, just go cool off," I told Bucky firmly as Wanda guarded me from him.

"I'm sorry," Bucky muttered before walking out of the compound to cool down.

I wrapped my arms around Wanda and hugged her tightly, grateful for her protection. She was a little surprised by the sudden embrace but hugged me back without hesitation.

"Thank you, thank you," I whispered gratefully into her shoulder.

"Honey, are you okay?" Wanda asked, ignoring my thanks and wanting to make sure I was okay.

"I am now, Wands," I sighed into her touch, feeling calmer with every passing moment. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I began to relax under her comforting presence. Her hands played with my hair as I rested my head on her shoulder, taking in her familiar scent.

"Wanda, I have been called to do some lab duty, so I'm going to have to cancel our date," Vision's voice broke through the moment as he walked through the wall.

I started to pull away from Wanda, not wanting to cause any trouble for her and her boyfriend, but Wanda's grip on me tightened.

"Of course you do. You know what, Vision? Don't even bother trying to make up the last four cancelled dates at this point," Wanda said without even looking at him.

"Fine, I won't bother doing anything nice for us again," Vision stormed off back into the wall, leaving Wanda and I alone once more.

Wanda let out a weary sigh as I pulled away from her embrace. Looking into her eyes, I could see the sadness and disappointment etched in her features. She had always adored the robotic man who seemed to have no time for her anymore.

"Hey, what were you two supposed to do?" I asked the witch, trying to distract her from her thoughts.

"We were supposed to go to a restaurant, but it's fine," Wanda replied with a forced smile.

I stood there for a moment, unsure of how to comfort her. Then an idea struck me - why not take her out for the night? As I looked at Wanda, I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she looked. She had clearly dressed up for this date that never happened.

"Stay here, I'll be back with a plan," I smiled at her before quickly running down the hallway to my room.

In a matter of minutes, I changed into an outfit and fixed my hair. Knowing Wanda's love for sitcoms, I decided to take her to an old American 50's diner. It might cheer her up and I've been wanting to take her there on a date for a while now.

As I walked out of my room with paper flowers in hand, I couldn't contain my excitement. Making my way down the hallway, I found Wanda waiting for me in the kitchen. She turned around and our eyes met.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" I asked with a big smile on my face.

"I-um yes, I am," she stumbled over her words, making me laugh.

"You okay, witchy?" I asked affectionately. "You look really pretty."

"Thank you. I was going to say the same earlier before the whole Bucky thing," she replied with a warm smile.

Her words made my heart skip a beat. And then I remembered the paper flowers in my hand.

"I know you've had a rough couple of weeks, so I made these for you a while ago. And I think now is the perfect time to give them to you," I nervously handed her the paper flowers.

Her smile widened as she took the flowers from my hands. I could see tears welling up in her eyes, and she looked like she had just been given a million dollars.

"You made these? For me?" She asked, looking up at me with adoration.

"Of course. Who else would I make them for, Wands?" I gazed into her beautiful eyes.

"For someone who deserves them, like Natasha or Bruce," she explained.

"Or you, Maximoff. You deserve them too. You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else," I placed a reassuring arm on her shoulder.

She took the flowers and carefully examined them before setting them down on the table. Then, she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Thank you. Nobody has ever said that to me," she mumbled against my neck.

I could feel myself blushing and couldn't help but smile uncontrollably.

"Well, they should, Wands," I pulled away from our embrace with a grin.

We walked side by side out of the compound, talking the entire way to my car. Wanda's laughter filled the garage as we playfully debated over our favorite team members.

As we drove to the diner, Wanda's mood seemed to have lifted, and for once, there was no trace of sadness or disappointment in her eyes. It felt good to bring a smile to her face and make her feel appreciated and loved. And that's exactly what she deserved - happiness and love from those around her.

With a sarcastic smirk, I unlocked my car with my keys and gestured for her to enter. "That's a secret that I shall forever know and you shall not," I teased as she climbed into the passenger seat. "Oh honey, you forgot I can read minds," she fake pouted, her powers already at work.

I laughed, knowing full well that I could block her powers whenever I wanted to. "Awww, and you forgot I can block your powers," I replied with a fake pout of my own.

She rolled her eyes playfully, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach. Stop it, Y/n, just stop. She's taken and this is just a friendly outing to cheer her up. It's not a date.

"After you, madam," I opened her car door and bowed playfully, earning a smile from her sokovian-accented lips.

"Why thank you," she said with a slight slip into her accent.

I couldn't help but smile at the sound of it as she looked down at the car floor. Closing her door, I made my way over to the driver's side and got behind the wheel. Starting the engine, we exited the garage and headed towards the city.

"So where are we going?" She glanced over at me with curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"That's a secret," I kept my eyes on the road ahead.

"Come onnnn, give me one hint," she whined playfully.

"Nope, I'm not telling you. Just enjoy the drive and let the road take us," I chuckled.

"You sound like... what do you guys call it... Oh yes, a hippie," she teased cheekily.

Using autopilot for the car, I turned to look at her, trying to suppress my own smirk as she struggled to hide hers.

"I am not a hippie," I defended myself with a smile.

"Mmmhhh, okay, whatever helps you sleep at night," she shrugged with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Wanda Maximoff, I am not a hippie," I huffed, crossing my arms slightly.

"Okay, okay, you're not a hippie... You're a... hopeless romantic," she giggled.

I went to say something but paused for a moment. She was right. I am a hopeless romantic. But everyone knows that.

"Shut up, witchy," I playfully retorted, trying not to let her see how much her words affected me.

She burst out laughing, and it was contagious. I couldn't help but join in. God, I love her laugh and how her smile can light up an entire room without even trying.

"You will arrive at your destination in 5 minutes," the car's computerized voice announced.

Wanda had a huge smile on her face, and I could tell just how excited she was by the way her eyes sparkled with anticipation. Suddenly, she rested her head on my shoulder and entwined our hands together.

"What's this for?" I whispered to her, feeling my heart swell with affection.

"For you making a shitty day into a good one like you always do," she replied softly, causing my heart to flutter even more.

I smiled at her words and lightly kissed her forehead before turning back to the road ahead. We stayed like that for the rest of the car ride until we finally reached our destination: a huge diner with bright neon lights flashing "50s Diner!"

"Oh my god, is this- no, it can't be- is this really a 50s diner?!" Wanda practically jumped in her seat with excitement.

"Yes, it is! I found it awhile ago and have been wanting to take you here for some time now," I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"Oh, Y/n, I can't even believe you remembered how much I love sitcoms and would think to bring me here! Thank you! Thank you!" She hugged me tightly, her excitement bubbling over.

I hadn't seen her this happy since Vision asked her out on a date (or rather, when I convinced him to ask her out and planned the whole thing). "It's nothing. Now come on, we don't want to miss out on all the fun!" I laughed as she pulled away, her eyes shining with pure joy.

Gently, I assisted Wanda out of the car, opening her door and taking her hand in mine. The warmth of her skin against mine sent shivers down my spine. Together, we walked into the quaint diner, where a friendly waitress promptly seated us at a cozy table. As we perused the menus, we chatted about our day.

"What are you going to order?" The waitress asked Wanda, breaking my gaze from the menu.

"I think I'll have the cheeseburger combo with a strawberry milkshake. How about you?" Wanda looked up at me with a smile.

"I'm thinking I'll get the chicken tender combo and a vanilla shake." I smiled back, setting my menu down.

The waitress took our orders and menus before walking away with a smile directed solely at me. I couldn't help but feel confused by the attention, but quickly refocused on Wanda.

"Looks like someone was checking you out," Wanda teased playfully.

"Well, that's too bad for her because I have my eyes set on somebody else," I replied with a smirk.

Wanda's expression faltered for a moment before she readjusted herself and continued smiling. "And who might this lucky person be?" She leaned in closer.

"Who said it was a person? Can't it be a lady?" I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

"Of course it can... So you must really like her if you won't even flirt with the pretty blonde waitress," she prodded curiously.

"Oh trust me, she's not my type at all. My girl would always win," I said confidently.

"Your girl? Huh," Wanda's tone held a hint of disappointment, though she tried to hide it with a smile.

"Yeah, my girl. She wins every time. Best laugh, best personality, prettiest girl, most trustworthy, kind-hearted, and most importantly, the best listener," I explained, caught in a trance as I thought of her.

"She sounds amazing. When do I get to meet this girl?" Wanda asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, you won't. She's in love with someone else, but that's okay because I can love her from afar. She's worth it," I said sadly.

"Well, this girl must be blind not to see what an incredible person you are," Wanda placed her hand over mine briefly.

I couldn't help but think to myself, 'Yeah, she's bloody blind. I clearly love you, idiot.'

Wanda's POV

As Y/n spoke, my mind raced trying to figure out who she was talking about so I could give them a piece of my mind. Anyone would be lucky to have Y/n as their girlfriend. Then it hit me - why was I even thinking about another person? My heart belonged to Y/n, and it had for the past month. I needed to break things off with Vision as soon as we got back to the compound.

I couldn't contain my excitement as I discreetly read Y/n's thoughts. 'Yeah, she's bloody blind. I clearly love you, idiot.' My heart felt like it was going to burst with joy. Y/n loved me? It was almost too good to be true.

I made a decision right then and there - I would end things with Vision and tell Y/n how I truly felt about her. Our love deserved a chance, even if it wasn't meant to be with me.

Your POV

The room seemed to spin for a moment, making me feel fuzzy and unsteady. I could see Wanda's concerned expression as she caught me before I stumbled. A few seconds later, our food and drinks were brought out by a friendly waitress. I smiled at her and thanked her, but I could already sense the premonition of trouble brewing between Wanda and the waitress.

"What's with the death glares?" I nudged Wanda, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Well, you said you didn't like her so I'm just making it clear," Wanda replied with a scowl still fixed on the woman.

I couldn't help but laugh at their little staring contest. Wanda was not one to hold back her feelings, especially when it came to someone she saw as a threat to me. But I knew this wasn't going to make for a relaxing dinner.

"Please, Wanda, can we just try to have a good time? I promise not to even look in her direction if that's what it takes," I pleaded, sipping my creamy vanilla milkshake.

Wanda's scowl softened at my request and she finally turned away from the waitress. "Fine, fine. But don't think I won't be keeping an eye on her."

I couldn't help but smile at how fiercely protective Wanda was of me. She may have been flirty and carefree most of the time, but when it came down to it, she was always looking out for me.

As we chatted and laughed over our meal, I couldn't imagine having a better time with anyone else. We reminisced about old missions and shared stories about our favorite things to do. And despite my initial doubts about revisiting this restaurant where Wanda had confessed her feelings for me years ago, I was now grateful for the memories we were creating together.

Suddenly, the waitress interrupted our conversation with a smile. "Sorry to break it up, ladies, but we're closing for the night."

I couldn't believe it. "What? It can't be that late..." I trailed off as I looked at my phone and saw that it was already 1 am.

Wanda let out a gasp of surprise as she peeked out the window to see the darkness outside. "Wow, time really flew by when I was with you."

As we left the restaurant and walked back to our cars, I couldn't help but feel grateful for Wanda's presence in my life. She had a way of making even the most mundane moments into memorable ones, and I was lucky to have her by my side.

After our meal, I paid the bill and left a generous tip for our waitress. As Wanda sat lost in her thoughts, I admired her from across the table. Her dark hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall and her brown eyes sparkled in the dim light of the restaurant.

"Did your mother ever tell you it's rude to stare?" Wanda teased me, breaking me out of my reverie.

"I think your mother never told you that either after the glare you gave the waitress earlier," I teased back with a smirk.

We both got up from our booth, stretching our tired limbs. I waited for Wanda to get up before walking out with her.

"Where are you going?" she asked me as we made our way towards the exit.

"Wanda, they're closing. We have to go home now. I'm sure Vis is worried about you not being home yet," I reminded her gently.

"Oh, right...yeah, we should get going," she shook her head slightly to clear it.

I helped her out of the booth and we walked side by side to her car. She rested her head on my shoulder as we walked, and I couldn't help but feel content in this moment.

"Here we go," I said as I opened her car door for her.

"Thank you," she yawned sleepily as she climbed into the car.

I smiled at her before closing her door and making my way around to the driver's seat. Deciding to use autopilot, I leaned back in my seat and let out a tired sigh.

"Thanks for accompanying me tonight. I would love to do it again sometime if you'd like?" I asked, glancing over at Wanda.

But she didn't respond. When I turned to look at her, I saw that she had fallen asleep, letting out soft breaths as she slumped against the window. I couldn't help but admire her peaceful expression and the way her hair fell gently across her face.

As we arrived back at the compound, the AI's voice woke Wanda up. She looked too peaceful to wake, so I decided to carry her up to her room instead of waking her.

"Hey, where have you been? We were about to send out a missing person report as you both have been gone for so long!" Natasha exclaimed as she ran towards us with open arms. But then she stopped when she saw Wanda sleeping in my arms.

"Oh my god, it was perfect. She is perfect...I'll tell you all about it later, but for now, I just need to put her to bed," I smiled down at Wanda before turning to walk towards the stairs.

"Wait, what?!" Nat and Maria said simultaneously, their voices filled with excitement.

"Shhh, Lady Y/n is asleep. Miss Maximoff, let me take her to bed," Thor offered in a hushed tone.

"Are you sure? I don't mind taking her," I whispered to him.

"I'm sure," he reassured me before taking Wanda from my arms and carrying her upstairs.

I kissed her forehead and whispered a goodnight before watching them disappear down the hallway. Nat and Maria dragged me into their room and sat me on their bed, eager to hear about our night together.

Maria's eyes lit up with excitement as she eagerly encouraged me to share my story. I couldn't stop grinning as I started, "It was just AMAZING! Y/n took me to this 50s themed diner and said she knew how much I loved sitcoms and had to take me there. It was like she could read my mind." Natasha joined us, closing the bedroom door behind her and jumping onto the bed with a loud thud. "Don't start without me!!!!" she exclaimed, joining in on our conversation.

"We just talked for hours. But it wasn't boring at all, it was like we were in perfect sync. You know that 'perfect night' everyone talks about? Where you can talk for hours and never run out of things to say? That's what it was like," I gushed, reliving the memory.

Natasha's eyes narrowed playfully as she asked, "So do you like her Wanda? Because this is the first time you've talked about Y/n this way."

Blushing, I replied, "I've thought about her like this for a while now, but it feels good to finally say it out loud to someone else. She's practically my best friend but I think I want her to be more than that. I just realized that I don't want to sleep in the same bed as Vision anymore. Our relationship has become more like coworkers than lovers. We haven't gone out on a date in over two months and I can't even remember the last time we talked as boyfriend and girlfriend instead of colleagues. But with Y/n, everything just feels balanced and easy. And I know she'll always listen and help me with anything."

Maria chimed in, "Wanda, I really think you should go for it with Y/n. What's holding you back?"

I hesitated before admitting, "Well...I may have read her mind. I know, I shouldn't have, but she was talking about this mysterious girl she likes who apparently doesn't like her back because they're with someone else. And it all started because I told Y/n to ask the waitress out, but then she just gushed about her crush and how they would always win no matter what."

Natasha squealed with excitement, "Stop it! She said that?"

"If you break her heart, I will break you," Natasha warned me protectively.

"I love you Wanda, but if you hurt Y/n, I will ruin you," Maria chimed in sternly.

I held out my pinky and promised, "I promise I would never dream of hurting her. Ever."

Natasha interlocked her pinky with mine and pulled me in for a hug. Maria joined in as well before we finally parted ways to get some rest. As I lay in bed, thoughts of breaking up with Vision and asking Y/n out filled my mind. It couldn't be that hard...right?

© CINABUNWANDA ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Chapter 23 - The Old Gods and The New

A Firefight or A Viper's Nest | Loki x Reader

Loki misses us and more threats descend on Tønsberg.

Warnings: continued angst from Loki, threats to the village and references to battles and war.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and @reveriesources

Series Masterlist | Loki Masterlist | Masterlist

It took a long while for the shock of Jane’s revelation to set in, the small court just stared at her for a while, a strange breeze that came from nowhere seemed to drift through her hair so that it floated around her face in artistic waves. 

“Well.” Brunnhilde said, shocked, “that’s quite the party trick, Jane.” Her lip quirked up into a smile as she looked her friend up and down before turning to Thor. “And you were going to share this information, when? I assume you must know?” 

Thor opened and then closed his mouth, at a loss. 

“Thor, she has your hammer.” Korg looked more confused than anyone. “I thought that was your magical hammer?”

“It is,” Thor grunted, looking more than a little betrayed. I still have Stormbreaker though, I am still as mighty and powerful as ever, do not worry about me.” He attempted a casual laugh but it came out as a weak cough. 

“I’m sure that’ll come in very useful,” Brunnhilde didn’t move her gaze from Jane until she’d put the hammer down, the armour, hair and magical wind vanishing as quickly as it’d appeared. 

“All this to say, Estrid, I’d be happy to come with you to save Loki. He saved my life, once, I thought he’d sacrificed his own life for mine and Thor’s. I feel like I owe him, even if he is still alive.” 

You’d yet to hear this story, but you were even more determined to hear it with Loki present. There was still so much you didn’t know about each other, and the loss of him was still so keen, so painful. You needed him back, so you could discover everything there was to know and relish in everything you already knew him to be. 

“Thank you, Jane, you’re a good friend.” 

Jane reached out and squeezed your hand. “I suppose we have a rescue mission to plan then.” And you smiled for the first time since Loki had been taken because, for the first time, you thought there might actually be some hope of seeing him again. 

Brunnhilde called a recess on your, admittedly, very casual court and strode into her back office, slamming the door. You weren’t sure if it was Jane’s admission that she too held powers similar to Thors, or that Carol wouldn’t be joining Asgard any time soon, that had led to her unusually emotional outburst. You’d known Brunnhilde only a short time, but she was always collected, snarky almost, releasing her emotions carefully out of sight of her court and her people. 

You took a step, aiming to follow her. It must be very, very, lonely to have to keep a brave face all the time. Your own had been woefully unsuccessful, but you could at least offer her your support. 

Thor touched your shoulder, tightening his fingers and drawing you back with his gentle strength. 

“Leave her, Trouble, she just needs some time to - process.” He looked sad, tired, and for the first time you thought about what a toll this must be taking on everyone. 

Korg slid a pint sized mug towards you, liquid sloshing over the sides, “it helps.” He offered. 

You took the mug gratefully, lifting it to your lips and sipping expecting tea or coffee - spluttering you sat the mug down and looked at the smiling Kronan. 

“This is mead,” you coughed. 

“Yes, it helps.” And you allowed a rare smile to creep to sneak onto your face. 

Loki had been alone before. He had fallen through space, probably time as well if he really thought about it, he had been cast aside by his family, made poor choices and been equally as punished by his father as he had Thanos. He had been alone and rebuilt his life on Sakar. But he had never felt the crushing weight of this loneliness as he did now, staring at his own gaunt reflection in the reinforced glass of his prison. 

He had never before remembered your touch, his home had never had another dwelling in it that he felt such an affinity for and he hoped that you were still there, still safe. 

Loki’s thoughts drifted constantly, even when he was with strangers at least he could talk to them. He had created quite the social circle alongside Thanos and in Sakar, though he did rather regret aligning himself with both rulers. Here no one spoke to him, no one even looked at him. 

He remembered being alone on Asgard as a young boy, how thrilled he’d been when his mother had told him that her friend was bringing her own child. Someone of a similar age and disposition, who liked to read, who was learning magic, who enjoyed games. Loki had imagined someone like himself, a tall boy who he could hunt and fight with. He had been shocked when a girl had peaked around her mother’s skirts at him. 

“Estrid, you  very welcome here in Asgard. May I present my son, Loki. He has similar talents. Perhaps he could show you the palace.” 

He had peaked between his mother’s skirts to look at you, hidden inside your own mother’s cloak. Loki had bowed, just as he’d been taught and looked back at Frigga for confirmation that he’d done so correctly. In return you’d stepped forwards, holding your dress and curtseying. 

He had missed you dearly for many years and not even known that the ache in his chest was you. How had he let you out of his sight for even a moment. 

You, who had brought him everything he’d been looking for, a go-between to soften the often difficult relationship with his older brother, a playmate that was on his side and, eventually, someone who saw him as he truly was. Loki closed his eyes, unable to look at his own sullen face a moment longer, and reached out to you again. 

I miss you, my darling, and, though I would hate to ever be the cause of your distress, I hope that you miss me too. 

Watching the waves in the harbour you felt a surge of magic, as if it had wound about your heart and tugged you. Looking back at your door the lantern light that, since Loki had vanished, you couldn’t bare to turn off, flickered and danced. The artificial light stayed where it was, but something more flared and jumped, slithering towards you. The fiery snake moved swiftly and your own calf appeared from behind you defensively. But you knew it wouldn’t harm you. With a smile you waved the calf to the side and allowed the snake to coil around your ankle and slink its way up your leg. Reaching down it coiled into your cupped hands and you held it close, allowing its warmth to sink into your chest. 

“I miss you too, Loki.” You whispered to the waves, hoping they’d take your message back to him somehow. 

The council didn’t pick up again when you returned to the Long Hall the next day. A walk along the wharf had cleared your head and a glimpse of Loki, even just his sedir, had given you the courage you needed to keep going instead of just staying at home and crying as you wanted to. 

He was right, you were a Goddess, a Princess and you would act like one. Wiping a few tears from your cheeks you stepped back into the hall to be met with a familiar face. 

The man was sat with Brunnhilde, the King in her throne, a worried look on her face. The older women were cooing and fussing, filling a trestle table with tea, mead, beer, biscuits, half a fruit cake, anything they could get their hands on. His blonde curls formed a halo around him, even in the harsh fluorescent light. His spear was propped against the table casually and, hanging up your own coat, you noticed his green cape on a hook. 

Lugh. 

He had found you then and, after all you’d heard about his friendship with your mother, you were unsure how to proceed. Embarrassed that you had argued with him so fiercely when he had cared so deeply for your family. 

“Estrid.” Brunnhilde looked up, beckoning you closer, “I think it’s time we all talked.” 

Lugh stood, offering you his chair, which you cautiously accepted. 

“Thank you for not running, Princess, I believe you listened to the prophecy?” 

Lugh took a chair opposite you, folding one leg neatly over the other and lacing his fingers together. 

“Yes,” you said, warily. This was the first time you’d met without the panicking variables of your previous encounters. There were no Avengers or Gods to distract you. This was the Long Hall, Brunnhilde had been talking to him just moments before, and yet you couldn’t let yourself settle. 

“So you see how this simple prophecy, possibly even just a dream, has caused so much…chaos.” He smiled slightly on the last word, taking a sip from his cup.

“You think it’s about me?” 

“I know other people think it’s about you.”

Lugh’s casual demeanour was making your blood boil, fire danced between your fingers and your calf was back, nuzzling into your leg. 

“And I also know what I believe, knowing your family and your history. I saw your raw talents as a mere babe.” 

You stared at him, everyone did, waiting for him to go on. But he remained silent, waiting for your request. When you said nothing he raised a single eyebrow and sipped from his cup again. With a sigh, you gave in. 

“Please, tell me.” Your teeth were gritted, fingernails digging into your palms. The last time Lugh had been given free reign to talk to you, it had ended with you storming off and, this time, there was no Loki around to cool your fire. You could still feel his cold touch in your memories, the way he surrounded you and doused you. 

“Your gift,” Lugh pointed at the flames that sat above your skin, “you have been able to do that since I first saw you, swaddled as you were in your mother’s arms. It never burnt you, or her, but it kept others away.” 

“Bres?” 

Lugh nodded, “yes, Bres was already jealous, knowing you were not his, but he is not entirely cruel and had wanted to try for your mother’s sake. No one could get close until Brigid and Frigga tamed the flames. Bres believed you to be a Goddess of Fire,” at this Lugh rolled his eyes, “he always was so literal, such a bore. But the idea stuck, not just for him but with the Vanir as well. They wanted you to bring fire and chaos and Ragnarok so that they could seize power. So, naturally, Bres made a deal.” 

“The betrothal.” 

“Exactly.” 

“But, when he came for me, he said I would be the Goddess of Lust.” Your brow furrowed, “there’s nothing in the prophecy about that.” 

“You are correct, that was his intention. But he did not know you well, he believes he can control these things simply by being a King, forgetting that the universe has its own path, that gods forge their own way. Bres believed you to be a goddess of Lust because he wanted you to be, and then you seduced Loki -” 

“I didn’t seduce him I -” 

Lugh held up his hand, “child, do not fret on these details. You were but youths, you cared for one another.” 

You mused on this idea for a while and Lugh allowed you the quiet of your own thoughts. 

“If I’m not the Goddess of Lust, then what am I?”

“I can only answer for myself, child, for you have yet to ascend and truly come into your powers. But I believe you are the Spring, the way you forge through the darkness and bring new hope and life to those around you. It can be nothing else.”

Spring? You settled into the thought, it was kinder than Lust, yet, there was something wrong, something missing. It didn’t spark your magic the way Loki described enjoying mischief, it left you feeling hollow and empty. For a moment you considered arguing with Lugh, but he’d been so patient and kind it didn’t seem fair to push him away again. 

“And now, child, we must think about the future and not the past. Bres resides on the cliffs of your home, on the very limit of Asgardian territory, and one of your court is missing. I must request that you come with me for protection while the warriors deal with this threat.” Lugh said, matter of fact, standing and brushing the tiny wrinkles from his fine clothes. 

“Absolutely not.” You ground out, your blood cold at the thought of running again. 

As if from a shadow Thor approached again, having left the two of you to talk privately. “Trouble, I really think it would be best if -” 

“Thor, don’t, I know you just want to keep me safe -” 

“We all want to keep you safe, Estrid. Come with me and we can wait for this to be over.” 

“I won’t leave my people, I won’t leave my court, I am a sworn warrior of the Asgardian court and my place is here.” 

“There will be no court if Bres unleashes hell upon you!” Lugh shouted, it was the first time he’d truly raised his voice in anger towards you and it made you shrink back, fire tingling at your fingertips. 

“If you really don’t want me here, let me leave to rescue Loki. If you really want me safe, help me.” 

Lugh cast a withering glance back at Thor, who shrugged his shoulders and looked over at you with a half amused, half indulgent, look on his face. 

“Ah Trouble, you always know just how to twist things.” Thor reached over as if to pinch your cheek, but you batted his hand away, holding it out for Lugh instead, “do we have a deal?” 

Lugh sighed heavily, “is this the only way you will leave? To go from one firefight straight to a viper’s nest?” 

“It is, either stay here and fight Bres with me, or go with me to rescue Loki.” 

“Then I shall accompany you to rescue the mischief maker,” he agreed, holding his hand out, “after all, this village will need all the heroes it can find.” 

You had barely made contact with Lugh’s palm before an enormous bang rocked you from your feet, Thor caught you quickly, righting you as his armour manifested. With a half a thought, yours did too, the velvet and metal a reassuring squeeze against the echoing screams of the people outside. 

Brunnhilde ran in from the kitchen followed by Jane, both in their armour, swords drawn, Mjolnir and Stormbreaker hovering near. 

“What on Earth was that?” Jane shouted over the continuing rumble of noise. Clouds of brick dust billowed from under the doors and misted the windows. 

The largest windows faced out onto the harbour and village square, where snow sludged over the edges of the quay into the freezing waves beneath. Now sepia toned from the stone dust the harbour was at least intact. Brunnhilde marched into the back kitchen where high thin windows looked into the alleyway behind but, with the right angle, she tilted her head up and peered at the cliff above the village. 

“Fucking Bres.” She growled, storming from the kitchen, across the hall and out into the melee. 

Thor was close behind with Jane on his heels, Mjolnir in hand. 

The village was in disarray, rocks and mud sliding down the cliff edge had settled on the rooftops, an entire house had crumbled, its occupants thankfully free of the debris but sobbing in front of the ruins of their home and, from every corner, shadows and soldiers swarmed. 

The cliff seemed to be covered in them, all carrying Bres’ or the Vanir banner, headed by Bres himself, flanked by a cruel looking man at his side, his eyes narrowed and a smirk curling the corners of his lips. 

“I warned you,” Bres sneered, “I told you to come with me, welp, or you would suffer the consequences, I told you to know your place, or I would put you back there.” 

“My place is here,” you shouted back over the chaos unfolding around you, “this is where I belong, these are my people and you will leave them.” 

“Or what?” The Vanir beside him laughed, “I shall enjoy breaking you.” He leered, unsheathing his sword, and lept from the jutting rocks to the fallen debris below, getting closer and closer with each lurching stride. 

You wanted to fall back, wanted your stomach to stop churning, but you held your ground, spear aloft and bursting with flames as he charged. 

On signal from Bres the soldiers gathered closer and closer, the villagers backing up into the square where Thor and Jane corralled them into a circle behind them. 

He was getting closer, so close, and you missed Loki so much, missed his reassuring touch, missed the feel of him beside you, ready to face any challenge, missed knowing he believed in you…but that belief, that knowledge, it didn’t reside with him. Your left hand unfurled, fire whipping from your fingers and curling at your feet, a wall of heat rising before you. He had told you enough times that you believed him, whether he was with you or not. 

“Or, you disgusting pig, I’ll show you your place.” With a speed you didn’t realise you had, your left hand moved forward sending the flame snapping towards him like a bull whip. It cracked on the ground, cutting into the front of his leather boots. 

“You little bitch,” he parried forwards again, pushing through the shield of heated air you’d created, his skin crackling and his sword clashing with your spear. 

“Your argument is with me, leave the people alone.” You snarled, using your spear to push his sword back towards him.

From across the square you could hear Bres cackling maniacally, his own magic flashing as reflections in the windows, you could hear Mjolnir zipping past you and Brunnhilde’s battle cry as she pushed the soldiers back, towards the cliffs. Time seemed to slow, the sun hot on the back of your neck despite the grey clouds and biting wind. 

He stepped closer, pushing through the shield despite the pain until he was nose to nose, flecks of spittle settling on his chin in his fury. 

“I was promised a beautiful, lustful, bride and I have had to chase you across the universe and through the centuries just to discover that you are a wilful, disrespectful harlot.” 

“So fuck off.” Your jaw hurt from gritting your teeth, but you refused to back down, stepping toe to toe. 

“Like I said, I endured all that, and now I get to break you down too and I will savour every -” he pushed you backwards, “single -” his sword raised again, - “moment-” 

Everything went black, the dull roar of fighting in your ears and the startled whites of his eyes as the darkness took over and then blinding light. 

He had fallen back onto cobblestones, but there was no longer a Long Hall behind him, just more empty space, fields and trees, stones and even alpine flowers forcing their heads through the depth of the fresh snow fall. 

“Where the fuck have you taken me?” He jumped back to his feet, sword out. Behind you Thor and Jane backed the last of the soldiers over the harbour wall with a splash before turning to see the empty countryside. 

Beside you, Lugh placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, “you did it,”  He smiled softly, “you summoned her cloak.” 

The Vanir fled towards Bres, vanishing with a crack. 

Loki felt a tremor deep inside, a stirring of a preternatural sense, something deep seated and startling. He had felt it only once before, although it had been very recent, when Hela had brought down the palace of Asgard and he had helped the people flee onto a rescue ship bound for gods know where. 

It made him sick, roiled in his stomach and he marched for the windows, banging with all his strength. 

“You must release me, Asgard requires my help. Release me! I must go and protect my people! Let me lose!” 

There was no answer, only the subtle dimming of the lights and the echo of his own pleas. 

<<Chapter 22

Chapter 24>>

[thereoncewasagirlnamedjane]

MORE THAN WORDS (7).

PAIRING — writer!steve rogers x librarian f!reader

CONTENTS — miniseries; alternate universe—modern setting/library/small town; second chances at love; angst with happy ending [*tw: grief, mourning, illness, character deaths]; eventual fluff; book spine poetry (kind of).

SERIES SUMMARY — It’s been five years and he’s lost his way. Steve Rogers has taken a hiatus from his writing career and moves to the small town of Westview to escape the memories of a love lost. He unexpectedly finds a kindred spirit in the local librarian, and something compels him to begin communicating with you using the only way he knows how—by using the spines of your books.

WORD COUNT — 6.5k

NOTES — please note that this is me posting some of my old work, and also, i’m not playing around with those warnings. i wrote this as a response to my own experience with grief, and it’s not always pretty. if you are experiencing the same thing, as we all inevitably do, please know you are not alone. reach out to your loved ones; tomorrow is never guaranteed, after all. take care <3

✩ series masterlist ✩ masterlist ✩ library blog

Once you figure out what matters, you’ll figure out how to be brave. —EMILY X. R. PAN, “The Astonishing Color of After” 

You wake, as always, to the shrill ringing of your alarm. For a moment, for one glorious moment, you forget. 

You forget that your heartache had been temporarily brushed aside by anticipation and butterflies. You forget that you had rummaged through your closet for your best dress to have dinner with Steve at his apartment. You forget that he kissed you at the end of the night. You forget that you kissed him back. 

You forget that you liked it. You forget the immense guilt you had felt afterwards almost the second you got home, and the fact that you had cried yourself to sleep that night. 

You forget that it’s been nearly a month since Steve left Westview, with no word from him whatsoever since. 

But, as you know, time doesn’t—won’t—stop for you, no matter how much you try begging for mercy. So, as always, you throw your covers off to the side to haul yourself out of bed. It is nearing the time of the year when students flock to your library in droves, trying to cram in some extra studying before midterms and research papers are due. At the very least, you can try to busy yourself with work. 

You aren’t, however, looking forward to the sad glances Wanda and Pietro will give you when you arrive. Wanda had tried to broach the subject with you only days after Steve had gone back to New York, after she got word from Thor that his apartment now stood empty. You didn’t want to talk about it. 

You are determined to go about your day in your usual manner, like nothing’s happened. You pull a sweater out of your closet without even looking, looping your arms lazily through the sleeves and tugging it over your head. You lift a pair of jeans off the floor, not caring that they’re slightly wrinkled and probably need a good washing first. 

Ollie is at your feet, tail curling around your leg affectionately. Your heart thaws slightly when his yellow eyes meet yours. 

In a rare show of docility, he allows you to pick him up off the floor. You sling him over your shoulders like a sack of potatoes, and he deigns to just hang there as if he knows you need it this morning. His little body vibrates against you as he purrs, turning his head every now and then to nuzzle it against the back of yours. 

Your cat lays there as you go about your morning routine, but things come to a standstill when you see shreds of the blue dress you had worn to Steve’s apartment sticking out from the garbage can. 

The day you had gotten his farewell message, the moment you reached the safety and solitude of your apartment, you burst into tears. Ollie had approached you with concern and curiosity, but kept his distance when you suddenly stomped to your closet and pulled out the dress. 

Much like your heart, you never expected to use it again. You never thought you’d ever feel beautiful again, never thought you’d want to dress up for anyone else. You thought romance would never visit anymore, knowing that fate had already stolen love from you once before. 

In a moment of vulnerability and anger, you grabbed a pair of scissors and proceeded to cut it to shreds before throwing it in the trash. 

Seeing it now, you feel nothing but sadness. You find yourself too exhausted to be angry for any real length of time, despite how indignant you had been that first day. 

After all, you had also felt the twists of guilt after your dinner, and you had just gone through a similarly tiring journey to mend your friendship with Thor over almost the same thing. 

Did you really want to do it again? 

Could you? 

Also, given how long it’s been without any word, who’s to say you would even see Steve ever again? Who’s to say that there would be anything left to mend, at the end of the day? 

Despite your attempts to rationalize everything, your chest still tightens at the thought of never seeing him again. His warm blue eyes, the way they crinkled at the edges on the rare occasions he laughed. His strong but gentle arms, the way he had curled them around you as if to protect you from the world. 

The way he’d done the impossible and made you feel alive again. 

You turn away from the ribbons of fabric, lifting Ollie off your shoulder to set him back down on the floor. He tilts his head, watching you closely as you continue getting ready for work. 

It’s as if he knows as he trots back and forth after you, and you take a minute to squeeze him in a tight hug and give him extra pats before you finally leave the apartment. 

When you arrive at the library, it is Pietro who approaches you first. He looks a little hesitant as he hands you a stack of papers, and when you quickly leaf through them, you realize with a start that it’s a stack of resumes. 

Your heart sinks and Pietro squeezes your hand tight when your eyes go from confused to stricken. You bite down on the inside of your cheek to try and keep your emotions in check. 

You had known the time would come. You need to fill the position that Loki’s death had left vacant. You and the Maximoffs couldn’t manage the library alone; you had barely made it through the last few months. Another set of hands would be really helpful, especially with the upcoming busy season. 

“I’m sorry,” Pietro says, even though none of the fault lies with him. 

“I’ll look at them today,” you promise, even though you aren’t sure that you can. You bring them back to your office and leave them at the corner of your desk, staring at them like they’ve personally offended you somehow. You can barely concentrate on work, their presence seeming to mock you silently. 

You are given a respite when Thor arrives, knocking gently at your door, presenting you with a small smile and a small bottle of champagne. Despite yourself, you manage to grin back at him. 

“I have good news,” he says, stepping into your office and closing the door behind him. 

“Ah, do you now?” You reach into the bottom drawer of your desk, where you keep your own stash of alcohol for particularly bad days and a few clean glasses. 

“I think we’re long overdue, don’t you?” 

“Amen,” you say, placing two glasses down onto the surface of your desk. Thor efficiently pops the cork off the bottle, pouring you both a drink despite the early hour. What is it they say? It’s 4pm somewhere. “What’s your news, Thor?” 

“They’ve lifted my sabbatical; I’m going back to work in a few weeks,” and for the first time in a while, your heart soars. Thor’s job at the college means so much to him. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you,” you clink glasses together, taking a big gulp and relishing the feel of the bubbles on your tongue. It’s been a long time since you had cause for celebration. 

“Yes, apparently Bruce led a revolution of sorts.” Thor laughs. Bruce is Professor Banner, a science professor at the college. He and Thor have been longtime friends, and apparently he didn’t take it lightly when the administration forced Thor to go on leave. 

He didn’t have to search too far for people willing to support his cause to have Thor reinstated; students and their parents stepped forward in droves, writing letters, signing petitions, with some of the more wealthy threatening to withdraw their children—and their dollars—from classes. 

“Why a few weeks and not now?” You ask, changing the subject a little when you notice the way Thor’s chin quivers slightly with emotion. It doesn’t go quite as planned, however, when he looks down into his lap, wringing his hands a little awkwardly. 

“I’m waiting for my certification to come in,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Certification?” 

“To be a counselor,” a few beats of silence go by before you arch an eyebrow in confusion. 

“And you’re being weird about that, why? That sounds like a really good thing.” 

“You don’t think it’s a bit… presumptuous? A bit hypocritical? Given how I… well, freaked the hell out.” 

“You’re the one who’s going to be a counselor,” you tell him with a wry smile. “Is there a roadmap for how these things should typically go? We all do what we need to do. You’re back now , and you’re doing your best to help struggling kids.” You pick up the bottle and refill his glass. “You’re going to be doing amazing things, so take the win. Okay?” 

Thor nods, clearing his throat to get rid of the lump that’s formed there, and the two of you finish off the rest of the champagne in a few more moments of silence. He glances at the open door that connects your office with Loki’s old one, getting a wistful look in his eye. 

“There’s a book signing event in New York tomorrow,” he says, breaking the silence before reaching into his jacket and pulling out his phone. He opens up Facebook and shows you an event page. You barely finish reading what’s on the screen before you sigh and look away. 

So, this is what he really came here for; his good news was secondary. 

“You should go,” he says. 

“Thor…” you sigh, slightly annoyed. 

“You’re just going to sit here and mope, then?” 

“Wow, that is so—” 

“You know you’re doing it again, right?” Thor points out, but not unkindly. Still, you get up from your desk, exasperated, taking the now empty glasses with you to the break room. He follows, unrelenting. “The only difference here is that Steve is still alive. If there’s something between you—”

“There’s nothing, okay? Absolutely nothing!” You snap, whirling around after slamming the glasses down onto the counter next to the sink. 

“Stop being stubborn. What happened that night?” 

“We—nothing.” You groan, biting back the words you were going to say. You turn back towards the sink and start scrubbing furiously at the glasses. 

“You, what?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Tell me.” 

“He left. Okay, Thor? He got up and left. There’s been no word from him—not one call, not one text, not even a fucking Tweet. It’s been an entire month now, so he obviously doesn’t miss me, alright?” 

And there it is. The truth you hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone: you miss him. 

How was it possible that one man, someone you’d only known for a few months, could do so much damage? You had been just fine before he came along. 

You would have gotten by just fine without him. But now you had known what it was like to be his friend, to be in his silent but reassuring company, to hear him laugh, to hear him speak about things he loved, things he believed in, to teeter over the line between friendship and something more. 

And you couldn’t go back. 

Thor places a hand on your back as you hunch over the sink, trying your hardest not to weep. Steve had gone back to his old life in New York, went back to work, and is now holding book signing events in a city you know nothing about. 

The idea that it was so easy for Steve to just pick up and leave you behind, to wipe your existence from his life with such astonishing efficiency, hurt more than anything. 

“It obviously didn’t mean as much to him…” you say in a wobbly voice. “Not as much as it did to me. And what? I’m supposed to go running after him anyway? No. I won’t do it.” 

You realize how petty it all sounds, that you’re letting your wounded pride get in the way of finding answers. Even if you went to New York and he said he wanted nothing to do with you, so what? 

You could come back to Westview, dissolve into Wanda’s loving arms, and then pick yourself back up again. 

You had done it before. You could, in theory, do it again! 

Couldn’t you? 

Suddenly, the sound of Thor’s phone fills the break room. He quickly checks it, only for his brows to come together in slight confusion. He turns his screen towards you. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, showing you a notification from Twitter. 

@WestviewPL is trending! See what people are saying. 

You frown when you see the words, wiping your wet hands onto your jeans before reaching into your pockets for your own phone.

Your hashtag #MoreThanWords is trending! ✨ See what people are saying. 

Your hashtag? But you don’t tweet. In fact, you automatically swipe away the app’s notifications whenever they show up. You handed responsibility over the library’s Twitter page to Wanda ages ago, trusting her completely to handle it for you. 

“You guys?” As if on cue, Wanda’s voice floats into the break room, quiet and hesitant. You and Thor both look up at her, and her eyes are wide and frantic. She’s heard everything you said, and she is partly at fault for what you’re feeling. 

Because she knows it isn’t true that Steve doesn’t care. It isn’t true that he had gone back to New York and moved on with his life. 

Because he had come back. A few times, for that matter. 

“What’s going on?” You ask. Your friend nods at your phone, silently telling you to open the app. You do, and to your surprise, you see the photos she’s been tweeting. 

All the recent ones are of your book exchanges with Steve, each message immortalized in pixels on the web. People have been commenting and retweeting, a slew of heart emojis and gifs flashing across your screen. 

“There’s more,” Wanda says, showing you the camera roll on her own phone. There are pictures of book compilations you haven’t seen before. 

Wanda looks sheepish. She initially didn’t know why she bothered to take them, let alone keep them, when she could have easily just gotten rid of the books and that would have been that. Nobody would have been the wiser. 

But she supposes a part of her knew that things would come to this, that one day you would be ready to forgive him. 

Actually, that’s not quite right either. If Wanda were really being honest with herself, she would say that one day, she would be ready to forgive him. 

She had been there the day Steve decided to say goodbye and disappear. She saw the books with his farewell message at the corner of the checkout desk and his retreating back, her heart sinking. She begged him not to go. 

Steve turned to look at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen, looking like he hadn’t slept a wink, looking like a dead man walking. 

“Please, you can’t do this to her,” Wanda pleaded, thinking about how his leaving could possibly destroy you. Steve just muttered apologies, over and over again, before disappearing out the door. 

Wanda was immensely disappointed, not just at Steve, but at herself. 

She had been the one to encourage you and him, the one who thought she saw something special. In the end, it had only hurt you more. 

It would take a few more days for her to realize she had, indeed, been right. 

Steve somehow managed to come back without anyone seeing him, sneaking in and out like a thief in the night. However, Wanda would come back to her desk to see a new stack of books, knowing full well that you weren’t the one who left them. 

Wanda watches as your eyes widen, staring speechlessly at the photos that are timestamped from weeks ago, just days after Steve left Westview. 

I Hope This Finds You Well by Kate Baer Let’s Talk by Art Rios Take a Chance on Me by Jill Mansell With Love from the Inside by Angela Pisel

A few days later:

I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb I Found You by Lisa Jewell I Let You Go by Clare Mackintosh My Biggest Mistake by Leddy Harper My Darling by Amanda Robson Believe Me by Tony Strong I Regret Nothing by Jen Lancaster About That Kiss by Harper Bliss

Steve had evidently been back. Multiple times.

Atonement by Ian McEwan A Season for Second Chances by Jenny Bayliss Can You Ever Forgive Me? by Lee Israel Dreadful Sorry by Kathryn Reiss It Wasn’t Your Fault by Beverly Engel Only Mine by Susan Mallery

Each time hoping to be forgiven. Each time asking for a second chance. Each time pleading, only to receive what he perceived to be your silence in response.

"I was so mad at him," Wanda confesses, her large green eyes shining with tears. "I told him not to go. I told him what it would do to you and he left anyway! So, when he came back a few days later, I just... I don't know. I thought I was protecting you."

You look up at your best friend, the one who's been there for you for as long as you can remember. Now, for the very first time, you see the helplessness, the frustration in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I was so tired of seeing you hurt. I was so tired of not being able to do anything about it. So, I thought if this was the only way I could protect you, then I'd do it." She approaches you and takes your free hand. "I'm sorry."

She lifts a hand to swipe at the screen of her phone, showing you there's more.

Tell Me Your Dreams by Sidney Sheldon Because by Mo Willems & Amber Ren You’d Be Mine by Erin Hahn

"So, you're wrong." Wanda says. "He does miss you. And all of it meant more to him than you know."

"I guess you know that that means, then," Thor quips.

"What?" You breathe, unable to look away from all the messages Steve had unrelentingly left for you, all the hope in the world evident in each word.

"It means you're going to New York."

It's a flurry of activity as Thor ushers you out of the breakroom, calling for Pietro who is at the front desk and asking that he call you a taxi. 

Wanda rushes to your office to grab your coat. In a split second decision, you quickly rummage through the shelves for a final message of your own. 

You bundle the books under your arm as your friends don't give you any chance to protest while they're practically dressing you, wrapping your scarf a little too tightly around your neck and pulling a hat over your head.

Wanda takes your face in her hands and kisses your forehead, a good luck ritual she's always done for you, ever since you told her your mother used to do it when she was alive.

"Call me when you get there?" She asks of you, her eyes shining bright. You can see her real question simmering underneath the surface, will you forgive me?

Instead, you tell her something else.

"I love you, Wan.” 

It occurs to you then that you've never said it to her during the entire course of your friendship. 

You kiss her cheek, promising yourself to never let your declarations of love go unsaid ever again. You had done it pretty much all your life. Well, no more. 

And Wanda, your precious Wanda, of all people, deserves at least that much.

"I love you, too, sweetie." One more hug, and she's sending you on your way. Your friends watch you climb into the taxi, the one waiting to take you full speed towards the towering skyscrapers along the New York city skyline. Pietro smiles as he blows you a kiss.

"Now, go get him!"

I can’t go on. I’ll go on. —PAUL KALANITHI, “When Breath Becomes Air”

Bucky looks up from his phone to see a woman standing outside, peering into the window of the bookshop. He thinks nothing of it, at first, but every time he looks up, the woman is still there, as if gathering courage to come inside.

The woman goes from staring through the window at Steve, who is sitting at a table with several stacks of his books piled high, to taking a few steps back to pace nervously on the sidewalk.

Steve continues to smile at each approaching fan, scrawling his autograph onto the inside covers, not noticing he's being watched. He looks good here in his element, and Bucky had taken it as a good sign that he wanted to get back into the writing world again—to be Steve Rogers the writer again, as the world knew him.

But he also knows that it isn't what Steve needs.

Bucky sighs. Steve is so content to do what he believes to be “the right thing”, even if it hurts him. Bucky is glad to see him back in New York, hadn't known he missed it until Steve came back. But he wonders if there's anything he can say to convince Steve to go back, without sounding like he's trying to chase him away.

Bucky is pulled out of his thoughts when Sharon approaches the table with a smile. 

"Hey, you. What are you doing here?" He asks, stepping around for a hug.

"Thought I'd surprise you both," Sharon says after pulling back, placing a book down onto the table for Steve to sign. He shakes his head at her with mirth, before hastily drawing his signature on the inside cover. "I'm such a big fan. I'd like a message, please." 

She says in a silly falsetto voice, cheekily tapping at the page once he's done. 

"Heartfelt and sweet, made out to 'kind, smart, and beautiful Sharon'."

"So demanding," Steve mutters, but he acquiesces anyhow. Bucky smiles as he watches over his two friends. He isn't sure exactly what happened between them, and while he could hazard a guess, he deigns to let things slide. 

The two are finally talking again after years of silence, and he figures he doesn't need to know the reason why.

His attention, however, keeps going back to the woman in the window. He doesn't know why, but he tells Steve and Sharon he needs to go outside for a smoke.

"You need to stop it with those things," Sharon teases, half-joking but also half-serious. "You're better than that, James."

"She's right."

"Gimme a break, you two." Bucky rolls his eyes with a smile, knowing they're both right. Nevertheless, he makes his way outside and pulls a pack of cigarettes out from his jacket pocket. 

The theory he'd developed in the back of his mind is further solidified when the woman's eyes go wide when he emerges from the shop, as if she knows him.

The guardian of books, the woman who had unknowingly managed to pull his friend back from the abyss, is finally here. Seeing you now, Bucky knows that, while Steve is physically here, his heart has always remained in Westview, with you.

"James," you say, even though, until now, he had always just been a person in a photo on a phone screen. He had been a character featured in the many stories Steve would tell you about his childhood, but his blue eyes are comfortingly familiar. They remind you so much of Steve's, just as warm, just as kind. They may as well be brothers.

"Bucky," he corrects you. "My friends call me Bucky."

"Right."

"Don't be shy, that includes you." You smile when he says this, because you had almost forgotten that, according to Steve, Bucky could charm the pants off practically anyone. You see a bit of that now in Bucky's slightly mischievous smile. "So, what are you waiting for?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just nervous." You look back into the window. You've had nervous butterflies before, but these ones seem to have razor-sharp wings as they flutter in your stomach. 

Bucky follows your gaze back to his best friend in the shop, thinking that he knows exactly what you mean. He thinks about Sam, about all the years he had let go down the drain because he's been nervous, too. He hears you take a deep breath of the cold winter air. 

"But I guess it's the things we don't say that we regret the most... isn't it?"

Especially when that thing is love.

"Go inside, doll. I promise you, he's been waiting for you a long time." 

You glance over at Bucky, who gives you a small encouraging smile. You hope it's not presumptuous to take it the way you think he might mean it—that Steve had been waiting for you long before the two of you even met. 

That, perhaps, this whole time, while you were prepared to waste away into a sad existence full of grief and regret, that all you needed was each other.

Bucky holds his hand out for you to shake in a friendly gesture. You wrinkle your nose and shake your head, causing him to flush a bright shade of pink. Before he can pull away, however, you hold your arms open and slowly take a step forward. 

Suddenly understanding your meaning, Bucky chuckles lowly to himself as he steps into your embrace.

You wonder how it's possible that Steve, once again just one man , is capable of bringing you so much joy, so many good things. Does he even know what kind of effect he's had on your life?

When the two of you separate, you give Bucky a grateful smile before he opens the door to the shop for you. He watches as you go inside hesitantly, but you grow bolder with each step forward.

Bucky would tell you, one day, that he had gone home that night smiling to himself. Steve really did know how to pick 'em. Bucky has only met you once, and, already, you've changed not only Steve's life, but his as well.

Because that night, he doesn't head back to his apartment as he had planned. Instead, he takes a different route, one that he's taken a hundred times before, the end result always the same. But not tonight. Tonight, finally, Bucky makes his way to Sam's apartment with the intention of changing things for good.

"Do you still want that dinner?" Bucky asks the moment Sam opens the door, with no preamble. It's been five whole years. He's fully expecting a rejection, maybe even a punch in the face. He'd deserve it. 

Who in their right mind would wait five years for a man who couldn't even admit to what he wanted?

"No," Sam says, but he doesn't slam the door in Bucky's face, like he should. Instead, Sam grabs onto the lapels of Bucky's jacket and yanks him into the apartment. 

"You're a pain in my ass, you know that? You're a real piece of work." Bucky is confused as hell, because the words are harsh, but Sam's tone is soft, desperate, loving.

"Sam, I'm—" Bucky has no time to formulate any kind of response, because Sam is kissing him right then and there. It takes him a few moments to find his bearings, warm tears pricking at the corners of his eyes because this is so much more than he deserves. 

He's spent so long behaving like an idiot, knowing that he's kept the love of his life on the backburner... and for what? He could have had this the entire time.

But I guess it's the things we don't say that we regret the most... isn't it?

Sam pulls back, his dark brown eyes both defiant and affectionate at the same time, and Bucky swears he'll spend the rest of his days earning it.

But right now, right in this moment, he watches through the glass as you approach Steve's table, laying your books out for him.

I’ll Tell You in Person by Chloe Caldwell Matters of Great Importance by Louise Philippa Lenard I Hope You’re Listening by Tom Ryan

Steve's smile drops when he sees you standing in front of him, like he can't quite believe you're there. Sharon looks back and forth between the two of you with curious eyes, but she meets Bucky's through the shop's front window and understands. She discreetly slinks back and disappears between the shelves, smiling to herself— finally.

Steve can't quite manage to return your small smile, too ashamed of himself to do it. Instead, he just looks at you like he's quite content for you to be the last thing he'll ever see.

"Hi Steve," you say. He wants to weep, then. He didn't think he would ever hear your voice again. Not wanting you to see the tears in his eyes, because if anyone deserved to be shedding tears, it should be you. He looks away from you then, but you're determined to make it the very last time he does so.

You’ve decided it’s time. It’s time to let go of the things that had always held you back, the things that left you with nothing but regret. What had living in fear gotten you, after all? Finally, you take courage.

You take the final step to grasp at the chance for happiness, to grasp at a future—one that rests in Steve Rogers' very own two hands.

One month later…

"You sure about this, Stevie?" Bucky asks, not to give him second thoughts, but to make sure this is really what Steve wants.

"I'm sure," Steve says, smiling a little as Sam straightens after taping up one last box. The Brooklyn apartment now sits totally empty, all traces of Peggy—and Steve, for that matter—gone. 

The three men take a moment to soak it all in. They all have so many memories here. 

Sam and Peggy would often sit on that fire escape, watching the sun set, rolling their eyes when Steve and Bucky got into needlessly heated arguments while watching football.

Peggy had taught Bucky how to cook in this kitchen. Well, she tried to. He didn't prove to be a very good student, having been unable to really pick up any of the skills. 

It became tradition, however, that she would call him over whenever she wanted to try a new recipe. He would be her taste-tester and also her mixing arm, to "put those muscles to good use" as she had put it.

Steve had lived an entire beautiful life within these walls. He can still hear the echoes of Peggy's laughter, can still see her sitting on the windowsill as she read, can still picture her smiling at him as she danced in the kitchen to music blaring from an old record player.

But it is time. The apartment itself means nothing without her.

Peggy is no longer here, after all. Steve and their friends will keep her alive, will keep her present, in the memories they keep close to their hearts. Sam and Bucky pick up a box, getting ready to bring it downstairs to load it up in the moving truck they rented for the day.

"Ready?" Sam asks, pausing in the doorway. Steve takes one last look around. He doesn't want to think of it as leaving his past behind. He wants to think of it, instead, as bringing it with him to somewhere he can also have a future.

"Ready."

Wanda and Pietro watch bittersweetly as the maintenance person takes down Loki's name from the door to his former office. Once the final letter has been removed, they stop him for a minute to just stare into the empty room.

You and Thor had finally rummaged through all the boxes for things really worth keeping. Thor chose a family photo that Loki kept at the corner of his desk at all times. 

Pietro would tell Thor that Loki would pick it up and look at it often—while he spoke on the phone, while he leaned back in his chair in deep contemplation, sometimes even while he ate—even when he probably wasn't conscious of it.

You took the one of Loki on his trip to the UK from before he came back to Westview, the one where he's smiling brightly at the camera, hand lifted in a friendly wave. You also took the mug you had bought him for his birthday so many years ago, the one that said, "my weekend is booked". 

Wanda recalls the way he laughed out loud when he saw it, leaning forward to kiss you on the cheek as thanks, and the way he had used it every day since.

Occasionally, when Wanda visits your apartment, she sees both items you took resting on your fireplace mantle, right next to the one of your parents. The mug is always filled with freshly cut flowers.

The two of you asked the Maximoffs to go through the boxes, too. Wanda ended up taking a little snake ornament he had lying around, hanging it off the corner of her computer screen so she could see it every day. He used to say that snakes were his favourite, much to Wanda's amusement. 

Pietro took a monogrammed keychain, keeping it chained to his copy of the key to the library's front door. It was then time, you all decided together, to let the rest of it all go.

Wanda takes a deep breath, then glances over at her brother, who meets her eye and nods. He takes her hand, which gives her the courage to turn back to the maintenance guy to allow him to finish his job.

The new library technician starts today, a woman by the name of Virginia Potts. The twins watch as the new name is slowly put up onto the door.

All physical traces of Loki Laufeyson are gone, but they can still feel his presence in the walls, up and down the aisles, and laced into the books on the shelves.

Gone indeed, but never ever forgotten.

A knock on your door indicates it's time to leave. You gather up your things, slinging the strap of your purse over your shoulder and picking up your keys from the coffee table. When you pause at your door to put your shoes on, you take one last look into your apartment, taking in the small signs of change.

A book lays on the surface of the wood, freshly printed, newly published. Bucky had sent you an advanced copy in the mail, along with a postcard from him and Sam on their recent trip to Louisiana (the words see you soon! printed in Bucky's scratchy handwriting), a polaroid of the two of them taped to the front. It is attached to the door of your fridge by the palm tree magnet they bought you as a souvenir.

You had been a little surprised when Sam, who you had yet to meet, sent you a separate postcard. 

It couldn't be better over here, but I keep wondering if you know just how much you've changed everything. Can't wait to meet you one day, Book Girl. —Sam

The book on your coffee table tugs at your heartstrings once again, and seeing the name of the author still leaves you a little bit breathless. You had asked Steve if it was possible to find a publisher for a small collection of poems. Luckily for you, Bucky worked for the same publishing company that printed a lot of his work. 

You had reeled back in mild shock, to which Steve had laughed and asked, "Didn't it occur to you that that's why he was at the book signing?"

It hadn't occurred to you, no. Bucky still teases you for it.

You smile down at the light green cover, quickly picking it up to proudly display it on your bookshelf.

Fifty Words for Love by Loki Laufeyson

You turn your attention back to the door when you hear another series of knocks. You open it, smiling when you see Steve standing on the other side.

"Hey," he says, bright blue eyes soft and kind, as always.

"Hey back," you say.

"Ready to go?" He asks, holding out his arm. Thor just finished his first day back at work and all of you are going to meet him at his office for a small celebration.

You take Steve's arm as you step into the hallway and close your door behind you, locking it. He walks you down the hallway towards the stairs, still keeping a respectable distance. 

The two of you had decided to take things slow. After all, the love you hold for those dearly departed doesn't go away simply because they're gone. And they can never be replaced. 

But as long as you're alive, as long as you keep the memories of those you love close to your heart, as long as you keep those sentiments in mind, you have an opportunity to make the most of what remains.

It hasn't been all that long since his return to Westview, and you find yourself saying, "I've missed you." 

They are just three simple words, but Steve hears so much more in them: longing, affection, forgiveness. 

"Days without you felt so long," you confess, voice trembling. 

He pauses on the landing between the first and second floors of the building, forcing you to come to a stop on the last step of the stairs. You watch with bated breath as Steve's eyes meet yours, as he lifts a hand to gently cup your cheek.

The two of you had decided to take things slow, yes. But suddenly the idea seems so silly, because Steve has three words for you, too, and he wants nothing more than to say them with his lips pressed gently to yours.

So, he throws caution to the wind.

He leans forward to close the distance between you, but he remembers what happened the last time he kissed you. He stops just before you two can touch, and you think you see tears in his eyes before he closes them. 

You press a hand against the curve of his jaw, running your fingers gently through the soft hairs of his beard. Steve tilts his head just enough so that he's almost resting in your hand.

You hear him say the words, his lips grazing the skin at the edge of your palm as he whispers them out loud. You smile, thinking that, perhaps, now, your life can finally continue again.

Because this time?

This time, you say them back.

Just live well. Just live. —JOJO MOYES, “Me Before You” 

FIN.

© 2025 by thereoncewasagirlnamedjane. do not repost, translate, or copy to third party sites. no part of this work may be fed into any AI software or websites. minors are asked not to interact with my blog; you are responsible for your own media consumption. blank/ageless blogs will be blocked.

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

Thor, Shiva, Poseidon, and Hades meeting their child, but they are created by humans using splices of their DNA during battle. Would they kill their child, or surrender the fight for their child?

💜 Anon <3

Thank you for the request! I ate this up like a fucking gourmet meal. I had a bit of a hard time on Hades part deciding, and like you asked in pms I didn't add in Shiva. Thank you for requesting!

Warnings: reader death, gn reader swearing, angst, Poseidon being Poseidon, wounds, ooc characters.

Request: Yes.

Words: 3,064.

Thor

Humans were distasteful, obnoxious and utterly shameless creatures. That was known to the gods as soon as they chose to pave their own paths and religions. And destroy the land granted to them by doing so. Ragnarok was a pointless arena full of boisterous clowns who’d assumed they had a chance. Thor was going to shatter those hopes.

The arena was deathly quiet as Thor was introduced as the first God up, Zeus’ plan to crush the hopes and dreams of fellow humans. On the god’s side of the arena, Goddesses, demi-gods, nymphs and others alike cheered at his arrival, despite his silent annoyance. 

Heimdal cleared his throat, speaking into the mic to introduce Thor’s opponent. “And on the human side we have a guest made specifically to mimic the humans creators. Using the DNA of the righteous Thor. A man-made god. Child against Father. Introducing (Y/n)!” 

It was a shushed silence of horror between man and god, a tense silence and a deadly aura. Zeus was shocked, though a look of slight interest was on his face. Aphrodite and Hermes had their hands over their mouths. And as expected Ares was yelling out a string of curses against the humans who dared defile godly presence. 

Brunhilde, ever the calm, had her arms crossed over her chest whilst Goll couldn't even bring herself to speak. A man-made god? It sounded distasteful and shockingly sad. 

The humans all had different reactions as well, Qin was overly interested, Adam was disappointed, Sasaki could only voice his thoughts in bitterness. “Their whole creation.. For a fight? How pitiful.” 

Of course, the norse gods were to be affected the most out of this. The room's atmosphere seemed to darken, Odin’s nails digging into the chair and crumbling it under his strength. Pesky humans, making a child out of Thor’s dna? The thought alone caused his blood to boil, soaking the others in his rage as the aura of the room grew dark. Of course he couldn't leave it to those human pests to play fair, rather to stoop low enough to challenge their pride.

Loki’s smile shaped across his face big enough to threaten to tear the skin at his cheeks, his fingers grasping at his cheeks and dragging them down his face, tongue snaking out as his eyes trend towards that damned Valkyrie. What an interesting specimen indeed. 

Thor had a straight face, though underneath that facade was a brewing storm. How.. Interesting. Facing what would be his child in a battle to the death. A kin he’d never met before, a kin he had no share of memories with. A kin he didn't even know he existed. Mjollnir felt heavier in his grasp for a moment. And he didn't quite understand why. You resemble him quite a bit. But was that something he should be proud of, as a person he’d never known existed. 

Then, why was he so hesitant? Even the birds flying ahead seemed to quiet right down, joining the silence in the stadium. 

“What is your name?”

“(Y/n).”

You had his quiet atmosphere too. How intriguing. Or perhaps you were stripped of those emotions a long while ago? He would have those human heads on a rope after he finished this fight.

“Ready yourself. Show me what a child of thunder can possess.” 

Grabbing his hammer from its place next to him, he readied himself, and the clash between child and father began. You used no weapon, only the condensed electricity you created from fingertips. What an interesting being. No. How interesting his child was. You had complete control of lighting, redirecting his own power and using it back against him. You were quite fast too. Was this a branch of the power you controlled in that tiny body of yours, (Y/n)? 

The insane grin that nabbed at Thor’s face while he fought felt like parental bonding. If only for a fleeting moment. He wondered, did you enjoy fighting as much as he did? The adrenaline, the pain, the excitement? But nothing showed through those unperturbed serious eyes of yours. 

He of course noticed your changes. Your body couldn't handle the surplus of power. You were deteriorating. Such was the curse of a god being produced by a human. Your mortality would be your demise. So why did he want to stop despite all of the emotion of the fight running through his veins like smoldering lava? 

Stopping wasn't a possibility though. In this tournament of power it was kill or be killed, slay or be slain.

Somewhere deep down, Thor knew you knew this was it. The final remnants of battle. Your finishing move skewered the sky apart in a flurry of blinding light, The loud crackle of lightning hitting the ground had everyone but him closing their eyes and turning away as dust blew through the stadium. He felt it though. The pain you felt in your attack. Against your creators, your family, against him. Against the world. The bloodthirsty need for revenge.

As it died down hitched gasps of shock and whispers of sweet ignorance rang through the air. Thor could feel that damned Valkyries eyes cutting through him like razor blades. 

Falling to the ground, You broke apart into gorgeous green crystals that blew through the stadium in a soft wind. Through chill, glazing over eyes you saw Thor standing above you, nodding his head in proud approval. And what a wonderful emotion that was, flooding through your systems. The tears that filled your vision blurred out the world, hand outstretching in a final attempt to reach towards him but falling short. Your body stiffened, deteriorating. 

Maybe in another time, things would have been different. Things would've been happier. Maybe you would've survived. Maybe in a different universe you and him were close, maybe you knew each other. The world was full of unfilled and empty maybes. Like a tapestry of lies. 

“Rest, dear child of mine. I will seek the revenge your soul deserves.” 

Poseidon

This whole thing was an annoyance to Poseidon. A Valkyrie thinks humanity deserves a chance and the gods agreed? What petty foolishness. They should have wiped the floor with those pesky vermin without a second glance. Yet here he stood, with half the stadium full of them and the other half full of slightly smarter idiots.

Only one person here deserved any glaces; and that was his elder brother and Hades alone. 

After giving the obnoxious audience some time to calm down, Heimdal began to speak, “And for our humans side, produced from splices of the sea gods dna himself, I present to you, (Y/n!)”

The stadium went utterly silent. As if everyone was afraid to move a muscle, despite (Y/n) herself, walking up through the water with ease. The aura in the stadium was changing, darkening down in the belly of anger. Loki was ferocious, but amused all the while, hands coming up to cup his face as insane laughter echoed through from his place on one of the other thrones. Were these humans crazy or just stupid? Making a man-made god from one of the most feared to walk the mortal realm and Valhalla itself? Why of course they had to be, no one in their right minds would do such a desperate thing to win. Aphrodite and Shiva were in a silent state of shock and anger, while from a different room, Thor lifted his head in interest.

Brunhilde held a grin that showed her pearly whites, loving the gods' reactions. Did they truly think she wouldn't pull the strings as tight as they could go? “Sis.. That's.. That's terrible!” Goll was in a state of denial shock, looking down at the arena where the two fighters stood. 

 Sasaki’s hand rose to rub his chin in thought. “What matching auras those two have. I wonder, do they have the same mind, or were they carved into indifference differently?” Raiden laughed, one of borderline disbelief. “That poor kid. Made just for the fight huh?” The emotions ranged differently. Tesla wanted to know through what where you produced? How many failures were there before you? Science. 

Zeus’ aura threatened his temper, his muscles bulking up and his hand raising to stroke his beard in interest. Through what thought process did those humans thought they would get away with something like this? Hades was in a silence, deep in thought and emotions indecipherable. Ares was in an uproar and Hermes was sipping tea in amused interest.

Poseidon himself had no thoughts or words despite what he came here to do. It didn’t matter if you were made from his Dna or from his skin alone. Standing in front of him was another being unworthy of his time and his precense. Though, you both did look alike and share the same steely resolve. 

“Insolent pest.” You both shared a mirrored scowl, your head tilting to the side in mocking defiance. 

“Lily-livered snot sniffer.” 

Zeus let out a laugh of pure amusement. eyebrows shooting up, whilst a smirk curled up on Hades face. 

Poseidon faced what seemed to be a mirror image of himself. And that was not something he took kindly to. Especially not your attitude either. With a burst of speed Poseidon was on top of you, Trident already thrusting directly at your face. Although, you weren't his child for no reason at all. 

Poseidon narrowed his eyes ever so slightly as you parried his attack with water. That was his domain. Though it seemed now it ran through the blood relation you both had. How interesting it was, such an inadequate person could control such a sliver of water with a few twitches of fingertips. Blood splattered across the floor or the arena before anyone could muster up a gasp, eyes widening. 

“Th-There seems to have been blood dropped already! (Y/n) has sliced the Great Poseidon straight across the chest!” Heimdal screamed out, much to both of your annoyances. So this, this beast of a man was your father? No wonder you acted like a snob. The both of you disappeared from sight again, after images fleeting across the arena as you both taught toe to toe. Like a dance. Poseidon was almost impressed. But his copy was just a copy and the original was always the better of the options. 

He spun around his Trident, dripping with the blood from your cheek and shot forwards, releasing a barrage of attacks. Amphitrite. Though you weren't so slow not to catch up, even shooting past some of his attacks enough to make him back up. More blood splattered across the floor of the arena. The both of you now suffering wounds. 

You manipulated water with ease, he had picked up on, making weapons out of it and shields. Even waves to try and knock him around. Though you weren't the only one that could control water. Your movements were filled with underlying anger, he'd noted. Anger towards what? He didn't know and he didn't bother to ask either. He didn't come here for a sob story. 

You pierced him through the side with a spear of water, and he did the same to you, the both of you twisting around. You were beginning to get dizzy, blood loss affecting you. He'd noticed the rings on your hands seemed to be your divine weapon. Though you could likely control water just fine without it too. 

The fight ended three minutes after it started, his Trident plowing through your stomach. He let your body slide down towards him, your hands gripping onto the poke of the Trident. “Not bad.” He said bluntly, eyes widening as you raised a hand, severing his arm from his shoulder in a lasting rage before breaking apart into the air in a flurry of green. 

He moved off the arena with silence, leaving you to disperse into the rest of the air. Good enough to be his child, no. But.. A worthy opponent indeed. You'd even managed to take off his arm. 

“Not bad at all..”

Hades

Hades was here for one reason. To avenge his dear brother. He didn't bat an eye at the disputing differences between humans and the other gods, his eyes held a calmness as he was introduced into the arena. The crowd sounded excited to some extent, he'd noted. Yet again, it wasn't everyday you got to see the god of the underworld come up for a fight. He had business to attend to yes, but this was much a more important matter to handle. 

“Created by humans in the image of Hades, I present to you, (Y/n)! Representing humanity for this round of Ragnarok! Don't let them surprise you, made from Hades Dna, they're expected to pack a punch.” Heimdal introduced you to the field, much to his interest and the gods' anger. 

What did they mean, a human made god? What bullshit. Shiva laughed at the thought of it, hiding a bout of anger under it all. How annoying. Those humans really thought they could create a god of all things. Why, it was just laughable. Buddha's eyebrows shot up in keen interest, a smirk taking up on his lips. “Well well.. Looky here. Brunhilde, you sly Valkyrie, using Hades' love of family against him.” Loki and Aphrodite's mouths were slightly slack as they stared down at you. “Well.. Aren't they just gorgeous?” Aphrodite murmured. 

Brunhilde held a wicked grin as her and Hades shared eye contact, her smile only widening in amusement. Ah, the looks on their faces. It was something she could lounge in for days. 

The humans were filled with interest, Adam sitting up a bit against Eve's lap. “A man made god? But how?” Technology wasn't his thing, suffice to say the least. Qin was quite amused, leaning forwards to view the arena better. And Jack hummed. “I sense quite the amount of anger in that young one's veins.” “Anger?” Adam questioned, frowning. “Why of course, good sir.” Jack poured some tea, “Hoe would you like, being created simply for the purpose of war? A shame it would be, yes?” 

Zeus and Adamas stared down into the arena, eyes wide in utter shock. “What do those filthy pests think they're doing!? Using my brother's DNA to make.. Make a pawn!” Adamas bellowed out, making his anger known to the group. “Calm now, dear brother. Humans can stoop quite low when they feel threatened. I expected no less.” Zeus rasped, clearing his throat. “You're just okay with this!?” Ares choked out, “Why no, I'm quite.. Pissed, Ares.” Zeus responded, steam rolling into the air from his small noodle body. 

Hades held an expression nothing less of surprise, though it calmed almost immediately. So, this could be considered his child? Why, they both did look strikingly similar. From the nose to the eyes down to the tips of their toes. How interesting. He took a step towards, though not a threatening one, holding his weapon with a firm hand. “I am here to avenge my brother. My apologies, little one.” 

“I am here.. Because I have to be.” That didn't seem a reason that involved importance. Rather more than force. But could he really do this? Yes, his brother was family but this.. Spawn was as well. Hades wore he would protect his family to the best of his ability, wasn't that going against his words? 

He launched forwards, and you dodged him with ease, slicing your skin open with the iron claw-like ring you wore on your finger. And the blood transformed. How interesting. He dodged the incoming weapon, made from straight blood and twisted around to stab at your side, catching the skin of your shirt only. Well aren't you just a quick one on your feet?

That was something he could respect. You seemed well trained. Despite the blows dealt between the both of you, Hades could tell there was an underlying rage. Towards humans? He'd wondered. Well, that would make sense. You've been used from the day you were born. How much of that could you take though. 

He sent you flying back into the wall with a timed attack, watching you crawl back to your feet. “Not bad, for someone not trained by a god's hand.” 

“Not bad for a dead man.” Your words were blunt as you charged forwards, and Hades' side stepped, at this point just toying with you a bit. This was a hard decision. And Zeus and Adams were on their toes about what his answer would be. 

The fighting lasted for a good long while, the both of you covered in blood. You staggered forwards after a long while. Honestly, he was impressed. Hades never knew someone could withstand blood loss as long as he could. Perhaps it ran in the genes. His opponents' defenses were open. 

The tip of his bidet tore into your skin, and he watched you prepare through the ending blow. Pulling away his bidet with a drawn out hesitant breath, Hades knelt down, and brushed some hair from your eyes, before extending his hand. 

“Come on, (Y/n). Let's go home.” 

The series of words were weird and (Y/n) wasn't used to them. No, you weren't used to them at all. But his eyes held the gentleness of a warm bath after a long tiring day. He supported your weight as you both stood up, surrendering the fight to the humans. 

“I won't let you fall into their hands again, kid. We have a lot to learn about each other. You are angry. And you deserve to be angry. And you deserve to process.” 

Hades wondered what Poseidon would have thought of this? Would he think of him as a coward? That didn't matter now. He had a child to introduce to the family. His head raised, looking into the wide eyes of a stunned audience as the both of you walked on out of the torn apart stadium. 

[tmpestuous]

moth to a flame - eight

series masterlist

summary: bucky barnes was the love of your life, and you were his. there was no denying it. but after two years of dating, you found yourselves on different paths and decided it was best to go your separate ways. the only problem was how drawn you’d always be to him even after moving on.

pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

warnings: smut (mutual masturbation, 18+), angst, toxic relationships, emotional torture/abuse, kidnapping, physical torture, physical injury

word count: 6.4k

a/n: this is where everything gets juicy… already working on the next chapter as we speak. last bucky pov chapter! (:

“I genuinely think I want him dead,” Natasha said, a lot more angry than confused or sad. 

“I just cannot believe you didn’t tell us anything,” Wanda interjected. “I yelled at her in that hospital, I called her a traitor, she moved out.”

“I could not tell anyone without knowing what I wanted to do,” Pietro explained. “Bucky has only known about it for 4 days.”

“So what is it that you plan to do?” Sam asked. “You said yourself Sharon is gonna tell Atlas. What does that mean for Y/N?”

“Buck?” Steve spoke up next, noticing Bucky’s silence.

The brunette had been staring off into space, flipping his phone in his hands. 

Steve knew his head was running at a million miles a minute; he was worried that if anything happened to you, it’d be on him. Bucky may have not been in love with Sharon, but he trusted her. He told her they were all worried about you, and she was feeding it back to the last person he’d expected her to talk to.

He should’ve known. She was so adamant on him being at that party. Pietro got hurt that night, she must have known what was planned. She must have known that you were on edge. She must have known that him finding out about Pietro and your knowledge of it would ruin your life, your friendships. Leaving you isolated, what else did you have besides Atlas? She knew the entire time.

Bucky hated himself for letting his guard down. He didn’t even want to move on in the first place but he thought it was what was best for him, for you, for your friendship. 

“Bucky,” Steve said again, interrupting Wanda’s ramble about getting into danger and prompting Bucky to look at him. 

“What?” Bucky said, no attitude in his tone, in which Steve gave him a look in response that Bucky fully understood. “The only way we can help her is if we play into his hand.”

“You can’t seriously put yourself in danger,” Natasha said as she sat up, staring at Bucky with tears in her eyes. “We saw what happened to Pietro and he only had a piece of information on Atlas. Just imagine what he’s going to do to you, Bucky.”

“It’s the only way, Nat,” Bucky’s tone was completely monotonous, void of any emotion. “Y/N won’t like it either but it’s how we trap him.”

“So I ask again,” Sam came from the kitchen with a bottle of water and sat back on the couch. “What’s the plan?”

“Like Bucky said, we play into Atlas’s hand,” Pietro leaned forward on his knees. “They have their party in two days, so we have two days to get what we need. Bucky has to provoke them any way that he can. Talking to Y/N in public, testing their patience, whatever it takes. But we also need Atlas to admit on a recording to what he’s done to her.”

“So we have to tell her,” Steve concluded.

“I’m seeing her tonight,” Bucky spoke up, though if everyone wasn’t sitting together, there’s no saying who could’ve heard him. “I’ll tell her.”

“I’ll go with you,” Steve offered, with Sam adding a ‘me too’ immediately after. “If Atlas is there, you’ll have backup. Pietro and Thor will stay with Wanda and Nat.”

“I don’t need backup,” Bucky assured. “I just have to get there before he does.”

After a 2-minute back-and-forth with Steve about protection and safety, Steve gave in. Everyone then decided to get some rest while Bucky planned to head out.

Bucky honestly wasn’t in the mood. The usual frown that adorned his face when he was irritated made a reappearance, the stare Sam would always tease him for before they got close.

Between Atlas basically keeping you hostage in a relationship, Sharon playing him like a card game, and his friends all of a sudden having everything to say about the situation, Bucky was tired. He was annoyed. He was in a mood that he knew only you could fix.

He approached the building carefully, keeping an eye out for the one guy whose face he wanted to punch in. He decided against texting you, not wanting you to get in any kind of trouble if Atlas was there. His idea to have Nat text you also fell short given the possibility of Atlas knowing about what transpired at dinner.

Luckily for him, as he pulled into his usual space in the parking lot, Bucky spotted Atlas getting into his car, thankfully oblivious to Bucky’s presence. He looked irritated, letting Bucky know that he definitely knew what had happened. Once he got in his car and left, Bucky made his way into the building, greeting the overnight security and heading up to the office.

The building you both worked in was always fascinating to Bucky; the fact that you could access it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week helped you have an escape. It was good for you, he recognized. Amidst the chaos, the solitude, the hurt, you had your work. At any time you wanted, any time you needed. All Bucky hoped was that it wasn’t just tainted for you.

Scanning into the office, Bucky saw you with your head in your hands from the couch in the office. You immediately looked up when he walked in, Bucky noticing the tears in your eyes and streaming down your face as you held a startled then softened expression. He attributed it to you realizing that it was him and not the person who had just left not too long ago.

“Bucky,” you said softly.

“Hey,” Bucky responded as he closed the door behind him.

“Is it- is it true?” You asked, your voice shaky. “Please tell me it isn’t true.”

Staring at you with an expression of hurt in his eyes, Bucky obviously knew he couldn’t lie to you. He never intended to, even if he had gotten here before Atlas, especially with the plan at hand. But as you approached him with so much fear in your eyes, Bucky could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could muster.

You let out a broken sob, rubbing your face with both of your hands with so many emotions—frustration, anguish, fear. Bucky pulled you into his arms as you finally let everything out, whispering the same apology repetitively as you clung onto him for dear life. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said before kissing the top of your head, but then you shook it and pulled away.

“It’s bad enough that you know but now he knows that you know and I— Bucky, I can’t and I won’t be able to look you in the face if he hurts you.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about, prinţesă,” Bucky assured you. “We’re going to fix this. We knew he was going to find out.”

“How?”

Bucky sighed, rocking on his heels with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He hadn’t even changed before leaving the apartment, wanting nothing more than to be with you and decompress.

“He’s been seeing Sharon,” he admitted, still not looking you in the face. When you didn’t say anything, unshockingly, he continued. “That’s what Pietro knew. That’s why they took him. Pietro told us everything right in front of her, so we assumed she’d run off and tell him.”

“Buck…”

“It’s okay,” he looked at you, an unreadable expression on your face. “I don’t love her, I didn’t love her. I love you.”

Sighing and wiping your tears, you made your way back to Bucky, embracing him with all of the energy you had left that he returned with no hesitation.

“I love you too,” you said, not letting up on your grasp. “I’ve never stopped loving you, I will never stop loving you, Bucky, but–”

“But?” Bucky grabbed your face in hands, making you look at him.

“You have to promise me you won’t provoke him.”

Scoffing, Bucky shook his head. “Baby, I can’t promise that.”

“You have to,” you said with a sniffle, your tears making a return. “If something happens to you—”

“I will be okay,” he interrupted, planting a chaste kiss on your lips. “We have a plan, it’s going to work.”

“Does this plan involve you giving Atlas what he wants?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Bucky stared at you. “How did you know that?”

“I know you, Bucky. And I’m telling you that it cannot happen,” you lifted a hand to wipe your tears away. “You don’t get it. If they were just planning to mess with you a bit and let you go like they did to Pietro, then maybe you could convince me to let you go through with this. But they’re not going to just give you a black eye, bloody nose, and a concussion, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, his gaze moving away. “What makes you so sure?”

“Because he’s talked about it, detailed every single thing he wants to do to get you to leave me alone.”

“Funny,” Bucky looked back at you. “Nat insinuated the same thing.”

“I’m serious.”

Sighing once more, Bucky knew you wanted nothing more but to protect him. Hell, you had done it for the past few weeks. But if there was anyone in this world that he’d risk it for, other than his family, it was you. He wanted you safe, even if he didn’t end up with you at the end of the day. 

“I need you to listen to me,” Bucky started verbalizing his string of thoughts, shaking his head at you as you began to protest. “Please, okay? I knew you wouldn’t like this, and I can’t blame you. If I was in your position, I’d feel the same way. But… if I’m being honest, I am in your position. From the opposite side of the aisle. I have watched you destroy yourself for this guy; you have let him threaten your work, ruin your friendships, take your free will from you. I can’t sit by and watch it continue to happen and I won’t. So just trust me on this, please.”

After a few moments of looking into his pretty blue eyes, filled with sincerity and as much fear as you held on your own, you leaned into the touch of his hands still on your face.

“Okay,” you said in a whisper with a single nod. “But you have to tell me the entire plan so I’m not out of the loop.”

“Of course, prinţesă,” Bucky kissed your lips softly again. “It involves you actually… let’s sit down.” 

Bucky led you back to the couch he found you sitting on when he first walked in. Pulling you into his lap, Bucky wrapped his arms around you. You could’ve melted into his touch, it having been so long since you’d just been held with so much care. Bucky could tell you were trying not to cry again, rubbing small circles on your back, pressing a few kisses to your temple.

“We need you to record Atlas admitting to what he’s doing to you,” Bucky said as you got comfortable, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

“Task of the century,” you joked, planting a kiss on Bucky’s neck.

“Kiss my neck again and we will christen this office,” Bucky joked back, eliciting a giggle from you. “Think you can get it done?”

“I already have.”

“What?”

Fiddling with the collar of Bucky’s shirt, you shrugged. “Guess I was a few steps ahead of you guys. I’ve been recording almost everything, usually when I’m at his place. All the threats, every single one. I don’t really know what I planned to do with them, but they’re there.”

“Keep recording them, especially now that he’s on high alert with you and us,” Bucky moved a piece of hair away from your face. Once Bucky had detailed the rest of the plan, regurgitated in similar words to Pietro’s speech in the living room to everyone else, you nodded without a word. Bucky noted your silence, which didn’t seem solemn. “What are you thinking about?”

“You smell really good,” you answered with no hesitation, placing a few more kisses on Bucky’s neck before sitting up to look up at him. “And you look really good.”

Bucky’s tongue darted across his bottom lip as he stared between your lips and eyes, your faces mere centimeters from each other. “You always told me I clean up nice.”

“Mm, you do,” your tone was a bit more sensual, your hands moving up and down over his torso. “You always leave the top two buttons undone.”

Moving his hands to grip your waist, Bucky leaned his face a bit closer to you, his lips brushing against yours. “Are you gonna undo the rest of them?”

Closing the rest of the gap, you pressed your lips against Bucky’s, his grasp pushing you to straddle his lap. You were both moaning into each other’s mouths, tongues tangled together. Your hips grinding down on Bucky’s crotch was encouraged by his grip on your waist guiding you back and forth, pulling away from your kiss to lean his head back with his eyes closed, a groaned ‘fuck’ from his lips only making the heat between your legs that much hotter.

Bucky moved his hands to start unbuttoning your pants, your gaze making its way down to his current task at hand though your hip movements didn’t falter. As soon as your button was undone and the zipper was down, Bucky laid you down on the couch, hovering over you as one of his hands made its way into your pants and underwear, fingers sliding smoothly through your folds before he rubbed circles on your clit. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden pleasure, almost forgetting what it even felt like.

“Holy fuck,” you said, your voice a lot more breathy than he anticipated.

“Mm, you’re so fucking wet, prinţesă,” Bucky’s voice was low, his hand movements picking up before he slid a finger past your entrance. “So fucking tight, my pretty baby’s been neglected.”

He was definitely talking about your pussy in third person, only making you want to melt under him even more.

Shoving a second, then a third, finger inside you, Bucky didn’t let up fucking you on his hand, only as much as you started fucking yourself on his hand, his thumb expertly still rubbing circles on your clit. It was all so overstimulating, but it felt so good.

Somehow, even amidst how good Bucky was making you feel, you needed to make sure he felt good too. You made a way of undoing his slacks, ignoring his pleas of only making you feel good, which quickly fell short as soon as your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him the way you knew he liked.

He was groaning so loud in your ear, you could fucking cum just from the noises he was making. You stroked him faster as he picked up the pace of his own hand, your climax just around the corner.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, baby, fuck,” Bucky’s jaw hung open and his face was contorted in so much bliss, it was like he hadn’t been touched in ages. “Cum all over my fingers so I can taste you, sweetheart.”

“Fucking hell,” was all you could say as your orgasm creeped up so quickly, the most intense you’ve ever felt. 

You kept stroking Bucky even as he left his fingers inside of you, slowly pumping them in and out as you rode out your orgasm. By the look on his face, you could tell he was close.

“Cum for me, Bucky,” you said, your tone soft and sultry to send him over the edge. Stroking as fast as you could through the confines of his boxers, Bucky was moaning so hard as he kissed and sucked all over your neck, making your own moans hard to control. “Cum for me, please.”

“Fuck, baby,” Bucky said, groaning again as he fucked your hand, his orgasm catching up to him shortly after as he lazily thrusted into nothing while you caught his release in your palm, pulling your hand out of his boxers afterward. “Jesus Christ.”

“That mouth of yours is a sin,” you said after he collapsed on top of you, making him chuckle as he pulled his hand out of your underwear, being obnoxiously obvious as he licked every single finger that was just inside of you.

“Come home with me,” he said, looking down at you with so much love and lust in his eyes, though your gaze showed a bit more hesitancy.

“Bucky…”

“Everyone regrets what they did and chances are they’re all asleep anyway,” he tried his best to convince you. “I don’t want you staying here or being alone at your place. Come home with me, baby, please.”

You always gave in to Bucky when he begged for you, something Steve and Sam would never let him live down but he always did it especially for you. But Bucky could tell you weren’t going to give in this time.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see everyone yet,” you said, running a hand through his hair. “And Atlas has my location anyway, so that’d get cut short really fast.”

Bucky sighed. “Okay.”

“What if you stayed with me instead?” You asked, Bucky’s eyes softening at the thought of you not wanting him to go. “I don’t have any roommates and the place is all mine, we’d be all alone.”

“Trying to let me christen your new place too?”

Giggling, you shook your head. “You are so horny.”

“Weren’t complaining about that when I made you cum on my fingers two seconds ago.”

You rolled your eyes. “Are you in or not, Barnes?”

He smiled at you, making you admire his gorgeous face, the one you missed so much. “Let’s go home, baby.”

Once you both washed up a bit in the bathroom and Bucky helped gather all of your things, you both shrugged your jackets on and shut off the lights in the office. Making your way to the elevator that led straight to the parking garage, Bucky could tell you were stuck in your own thoughts again.

Everything about this situation overwhelmed Bucky, so he couldn’t imagine how much it was overwhelming you. He’d hoped he could ease your mind, but the fact of the matter was that you did not agree with the plan in place. It was dangerous, and above all, it threatened Bucky’s wellbeing.

Bucky has never shied away from a challenge, including those where he might end up hurt in the process. It didn’t come as a result of a big ego or too much pride, but rather always wanting to do what was best for everyone involved in a situation. 

He’d do anything for you and for your happiness. He once traveled for 3 hours to get a cake you’d been craving from a bakery in downtown Manhattan with a looming snowstorm about to hit New York City. You’d scolded him for two whole days about it, even though he knew you were grateful. He also once nearly got into a fight at a party for a guy who got too rough with you, calling you a bitch and nearly pushing you to the ground. You said he was being dramatic but he didn’t think so. He’d do anything for you, and anyone who threatened your happiness and wellbeing was a threat to him.

He’d always felt the same about Atlas. There was something wrong with that guy from the start, but seeming like the brooding, jealous ex-boyfriend wasn’t really Bucky’s goal. That didn’t cease his ill feeling about Atlas and his constant possessive nature over you when he didn’t care to actually love you. 

Bucky had no issue challenging the blonde, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the slightest bit anxious. From what you described as “being beaten ten times worse than Pietro was” to Atlas’s eager state to hold leverage over him, Bucky was nervous. He could hold his own and put up a fight against the guy, but he knew that wouldn’t be the case. Pietro essentially was jumped by these guys and even that was gruesome. Anything ‘ten times worse’ than that meant Bucky was indeed facing the possibility of looking worse for wear.

“Maybe we should take my car,” you said as the elevator reached the parking garage, Bucky holding your bag. “I don’t really want to have to face the wrath of you-know-who if he decides to surprisingly swing by my apartment at any point tonight or tomorrow.”

Bucky scoffed. “He’s that ridiculous?”

“Probably worse,” you said as you unlocked your car with your key fob.

Bucky put your bag in the backseat before getting in the passenger seat while you were putting your seatbelt on. After his seatbelt was fastened, you pulled out of the parking spot, assuring Bucky that his car wouldn’t get a ticket for being parked overnight.

The drive to your apartment was fairly quick. It kept you at a decent distance from both work and school, though you were really only at home to sleep. You technically only worked 4 days out of the week, but you were analyzing data every day. You had classes 3 days out of the week, which let up on you a bit, though your schedule was more than hectic those days. You got extra money submitting your class notes to the tutoring center, along with the clubs you were involved in on campus. 

The picture-perfect model student. Model person. Bucky honestly didn’t know how you did it. But it was evident that your enjoyment in a lot of these things was taken from you. Your mind was always focused on trying not to piss off the man who claimed to be your boyfriend. 

When Bucky advised you to give Atlas another chance after missing one of the biggest moments of your college career, he genuinely believed Atlas cared about you. It was one mistake and none of us were perfect. But as you described Atlas’s incessant disdain for him, Bucky realized he was just too insecure to truly love you beyond his doubts.

You two would always have history, but you never intended to make Atlas jealous. You honestly never even intended to leave him for Bucky. But you would always gravitate towards each other. Your breakup was mutual, a rough decision made in the middle of figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives. With opposite schedules, grasping for gaps to spend time with each other, then often failing, it was what was best.

It hurt, but there was no indication that you were done for good. 

Making it to your apartment after a quick 10-minute drive, one you attributed to the lack of traffic, Bucky finally saw where you called home for a short while.

Taking it all in after taking his shoes off in the doorway, it was very… you. You didn’t shy from displaying the pictures of the gang, even having a polaroid on your refrigerator door of you and Bucky at Sam’s birthday last year where you both had cake on your nose. Thanks, Nat. 

It made Bucky happy that you were finding some peace amidst chaos. He knew how resilient you always were, but it was great that you didn’t shy away from finding the good in a bad situation.

“It’s not much but it is all mine,” you said, Bucky’s attention now on you and away from the pictures and notes all over your fridge. You stifled a yawn, Bucky helping you take your jacket off and mentioning that you should get some sleep.

You nodded, grabbing Bucky’s hand and leading him to your bedroom. It was cozy, not as decorated as your living room but just enough. It smelled like you had let a candle burn before you left, the scent of your favorite candle still looming in the air. An en-suite bathroom was the coolest part to Bucky, especially in the heart of New York.

You pulled out an old t-shirt that Bucky gave to you, hidden away in one of your drawers, handing it to him. 

“I’m gonna shower,” you said after grabbing the pajamas you were gonna wear. “I don’t know if you want to shower but you can. Or we could shower together. I don’t really know how to do this anymore.”

Chuckling at your rambles, Bucky moved towards you and kissed your cheek. “Come on, let’s shower.”

After a warm, peaceful, and much needed shower, you and Bucky were both longing for how domestic you always used to be in your relationship. Of course, there were far more intimate showers, but there was nothing lustful about this. Just two people who loved each other getting ready to hit the hay.

After you were both dressed, Bucky previously stifling a laugh about a pair of boxers of his that you once used as shorts still living in your drawer which you now gave back to him, you settled into bed. 

Your head took its usual place on Bucky’s chest, his arms wrapped around you with a comforting pressure. 

“I missed you,” you said softly. “I missed us. I’ve thought about you every single day since we broke up. Sometimes I think to myself why we didn’t just let things run its course, save ourselves from all the heartache, you know?” Bucky graced his fingers from one of his hands up and down your back as you spoke. “I think we would’ve been okay in the end. We would’ve worked everything out and been okay. I kind of regret it now given everything.”

“Hey,” Bucky cut you off gently. “I get you, sometimes I regret it too, but we will still be okay. Everything’s going to be okay. We’re going to fix this, I promise.”

You nodded, not wanting to protest again, knowing Bucky was set in his decision on catching Atlas red handed. You had to admit it wasn’t a bad plan, but you wished it didn’t involve Bucky risking his health, his well being.

Soon enough, Bucky’s soft breaths as he slid into slumber helped you fall asleep too.

The morning came all too fast, neither of you wanting to get up to face the day. You didn’t have class which technically meant you were on Thanksgiving break, and after the day you had yesterday, work was a distant thought.

You woke up a few minutes before Bucky, getting to savor his most peaceful state for a bit before he caught you staring.

“I could easily get used to waking up to you every day again.” Looking away with a blush, you tried to sit up before Bucky encased you in his embrace again, kissing all over your face and neck. “Stay with me.”

“As much as I would love to do that, I should head to campus,” you said, trying not to giggle as Bucky continued to pepper kisses down your throat. 

“For what?” He said, resting his head back on the pillow to look at you. 

“I have a few things to do before break.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “I’ll come with you.”

“And risk you getting caught by Atlas’s minions?” 

Bucky sighed. “We talked about this, prinţesă.”

“I know, and I’ve somewhat made peace with this plan you have in place,” you moved to straddle him, Bucky placing his hands on your hips. “But chances are they’re already plotting how they’re going to snatch you off campus like they did to Pietro. I don’t want to make it worse by them finding out that you and I are close again outside of work.”

Bucky nodded, knowing you were right. He fought his urge to keep an eye on you since Atlas left you so shaken up last night, but he trusted you. You’d made a life outside of the one you missed more than he probably would ever know, and you’d been surviving. That was the most important part.

As you leaned down and gave him a kiss filled with more understanding than any words could describe, everything was right again. When you pulled away, you smiled at him.

“We still have our little bubble,” you promised, pecking his lips one more. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Bucky whispered against your lips. “I should head back to my place anyway, I’m sure they’re wondering what’s happened.”

You nodded, quickly smiling as Bucky gave you yet another kiss, one of his hands gravitating to the back of your head. 

Walking into his apartment, Bucky saw Steve and Natasha watching TV in the living room. Sam was making his sister’s famous tea yet again, and everyone else seemed to be out.

You and Bucky had headed to the lab so he could get his car, though he hated the idea of leaving you at all. He stole a kiss from you before you got into your car, stopping him before it turned into you two making out in the garage. 

Natasha noticed Bucky entering the apartment first, her attention moving elsewhere making Steve look in the direction of his best friend as well.

“You could’ve said you didn’t want us to tag along because you weren’t coming home last night,” Steve teased.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Why are you guys leaving Sam in the kitchen again?”

“Shut up and tell us everything already,” Natasha sat up. “I’ve been sitting in anticipation for over twelve hours.

Bucky put his jacket on the back of one of the lounge chairs in the living room before sitting down. “It’s a go.”

“She agreed,” Steve stated, though clearly a question.

“Not necessarily,” Bucky leaned forward on his knees. “But she knows it needs to happen. She already has proof of Atlas admitting to everything, I told her to still get as much as she could, and she agreed to that. She’s more worried about what’s gonna happen to me.”

“See?” Natasha exclaimed. “I told you so.”

“Whatever happens will happen,” Bucky accepted the possibility. “She says they’re probably already looking for me, so I think we get a start on this today.”

“We don’t even have the location of where this is happening,” Steve added. “I don’t think they’re going to keep it at their usual place.”

“We’re running out of time, Steve. He already knows that we know. Maybe Nat can scare some information out of Sharon.”

“I can do a lot more than just scare the bitch,” Nat crossed her arms as Steve gave her a look. “What? She’s a weirdo.”

Steve shook his head. “We have to work fast then.”

And that they did. 

After dropping all of the news in the group chat, Bucky was everywhere on campus. He could tell Atlas’s frat brothers were keeping their eye on him whenever they were in the same room as him. Bucky invited it. He talked with a few other people, getting random gossip from Maria Hill, asking T’Challa about how his little sister was doing with college applications, and having an awkward conversation with Tony about the Stark Internship. 

Bucky’s favorite part of his campus escapades, however, was when he saw you. You had just bought food from the dining hall, making your way to what he presumed to be the tutoring center or some club meeting.

Catching up to you, Bucky pulled you behind a building, out of sight from anyone walking on campus unless they were a faculty member using the parking lot behind said building.

“What are you doing?” You exclaimed, looking him up and down. “I told you I don’t want you to get caught up, Bucky, and I was very serious about that.”

“I know,” Bucky nodded, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “We’re out of sight, prinţesă, don’t worry.”

“I have to worry, it is literally my job to worry.”

“They’re already onto me, I’m just provoking them a bit, but I would never put you in harm’s way, okay?”

Giving in as always, you said a soft ‘okay’ before Bucky told you everything he’s experienced all day. Nat’s working on Sharon, the boys are figuring out a location on a new house Atlas’s frat somehow got ahold of and are rumored to host their next party at.

“I know that house, it isn’t new,” you interjected. “Unless there’s some other house they’ve managed to acquire in a week but I can just text you the address of the one I’ve been told the party's at.” You pulled out your phone, quickly sending Bucky the address that he forwarded to everyone else.

“Will you be there?” He asked as you put your phone back in your pocket.

You shrugged. “I want to be there to help you but–”

“I know,” Bucky interrupted. “I wouldn’t want you to see that either.”

“Please promise me they’ll try and find you quickly.”

“They will,” he assured. “The plan is to use your recordings, Pietro’s injuries, and the address of the party to catch them in the middle of the act. We’ll move fast tomorrow, I promise.” You nodded. “We still have our bubble, prinţesă. It’s not going anywhere.”

“Meet me at our spot by the lake later? We can get dinner after and then stay at my place again. I just want another night with you before tomorrow.”

Bucky nodded. “Of course. How’s 6 sound?”

“See you at 6 then,” you looked around before kissing Bucky on the cheek, leaving him behind the building. 

Much to Bucky’s demise however, he was quickly grabbed and thrown into the back of a van only a few minutes after you left him.

If Bucky had ever imagined getting kidnapped and/or jumped, he’d assume the guys holding him hostage were a bit smarter.

His head was killing him, no thanks to all the fucking punches they decided to give him with a bag over his head. But as soon as they were taking all their breaks, they dropped every single detail possible.

Bucky quickly learned he was the “star of the show” for this party tomorrow and they needed to rough him up enough, but as little as possible. Atlas’s orders.

The idea of Atlas giving orders was hilarious to Bucky, even more hilarious that these brutes even listened to him. He knew he was in for a beating but he guessed Atlas wanted Bucky all to himself.

After what seemed like a few hours, Bucky was tied to some dingy chair with that same bag over his head. His nose was starting to bleed again and his migraine had gotten worse. He’d been kicked in the ribs, punched in the face and had his face slammed into the floor a few times. Nothing he couldn’t handle. Or so he thought.

“Bucky fucking Barnes,” he heard Atlas speak, the grin on his face evident just from the tone of his voice.

He ripped the bag off Bucky’s head, Bucky’s eyes adjusting to the light of the room he was in. It wasn’t a basement or a shed, but just an empty bedroom in the house that clearly seemed out of use. It was dirty, some of Bucky’s blood from his nose dropping on the floor as he avoided Atlas’s smug stare.

“You know, it’s like you wanted to get caught today,” Atlas chuckled. “I could see you testing my brothers. Staring at them with a look that said ‘try me’ and I honestly almost told them to let it go. I was going to have them take you tomorrow, but then I found out the missing piece of the story I heard from our bitch yesterday.” Bucky looked at him, a glare in his eyes. “Oh, don’t worry, it’s not her. I mean Sharon. Of course she didn’t know you already had Y/N back in your hands, I mean—you wouldn’t want her to know you were cheating on her. Saved yourself that she was doing the same thing. Now we’ve shared two cunts.”

“You’re talking too much,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “If you’re gonna fucking hit me, then do it. We both know that’s what you came here for.”

Bucky became even more irritated at the tsk, tsk, tsk coming from Atlas as he picked up a metal baseball bat from the corner of the room. Both of the men knew just how bad this was gonna hurt, though their feelings about the situation were on completely opposite sides of a spectrum.

“I was gonna ease you into it,” Atlas said with a smirk, “but here goes nothing.”

Atlas swung the aluminum bat on Bucky’s left arm with so much force that Bucky swore he could hear the bones in his forearm fracturing. He repeated a few times, reveling in the screams of pain coming from the back of Bucky’s throat, kicking the chair so the brunette was suddenly on the floor, writhing in pain. The tears he was trying to hold back brought Atlas the most satisfaction he had in weeks. He was about to swing again when the door swung open, Bucky trying to mentally count his blessings to distract him from the throbbing of his arm.

“What the fuck do you want, Beck?” Atlas snarled.

“Your girl’s here.”

Both Atlas and Bucky froze.

“Why is she here?”

“Said you told her to come over.”

“Yeah, later,” Atlas sucked his teeth in frustration, throwing the aluminum bat on the floor, making Bucky flinch. 

Then Bucky was alone in the room, focusing on your frantic voice outside the door, wishing he could ease your pain. That you could ease his. 

He stared at the wall, his heart pounding in his chest. The pain from his migraine translating to his arm. His wrist being tied only made the pain worse, Bucky realizing he shouldn’t try and move it. 

He’d only been here a few hours and his arm was already fucking broken. All he could do was try to relax, knowing it was only downhill from here.

After about a half hour, Atlas came back into the room, the two guys who threw him in the back of the van following behind.

“Ready for some more fun, Barnes?” Atlas said, picking up the bat again.

It was gonna be a long fucking night.

[romancomicsblog]

Movie Redo: Fixing Marvel's Thunderbolts*

Marvel's Thunderbolts* recently came out with a stellar trailer, watching some of our favorite MCU anti-heroes going through the motions while uncovering a mystery and becoming a team.

While many have praised the trailer for its style, action and tone, I have had some problems with the movie from the beginning. For one, the group Thunderbolts* tends to be villains pretending to be heroes as opposed to morally gray characters.

The movie tackles the spirit of this by having several characters fill in classic roles of the MCU Avengers: Yelena as Black Widow, U.S. Agent as Captain America, etc. But this stops at about half the team.

For example, we have three different variations of Captain America. Each are not Steve Rogers, morally gray super soldiers. The main difference is their range of comedic quips.

We also have two different variations of (basically) Black Widow.

This makes the lineup a bit stale power wise, and makes most of the lineup side Black Widow and Captain America characters.

While it makes entering the film easier, this doesn't give us the same feeling of "assembling" characters from the MCU like the Avengers did. The characters should come from many different projects as opposed to 2.

Finally, the team is made up of 7/8 white people. So in so many ways, this movie is suffering from a lack of diversity.

My goal is to liven up the team with characters across the MCU, villains and antiheroes alike. I'd like this team to:

Fill roles of the classic Avengers

Have a wide range of abilities

Reward long time MCU fans for watching along

Lets get started with an obvious question:

Who Stays & Who Goes?

While this group is full of some great MCU characters, too many unfortunately are redundant.

We will be saving 4 Characters, starting with:

1. Yelena Belova - White Widow (Black Widow / Hawkeye)

One of the smartest moves made by this movie is having Yelena be the lead. I love Florence Pugh, and one thing that can differentiate this team from The Avengers is having White Widow be the leader.

She is the clear and funnest Black Widow stand-in, so I will be choosing her over Taskmaster.

2. John Walker - U.S. Agent (Falcon & The Winter Soldier)

Of the Captain America knock offs, U.S. Agent is by far the most interesting.

No hate to Red Guardian's jokes or Winter Soldier's angst, but having a sad, broken not as good Captain America who is not a good man but a perfect soldier, there's so many ways you can go with it. He can be a traitor to the group, the eventual villain or just the guy who thinks he's the leader.

He is also the character we've seen least of the 3, and deserves his time on the big screen.

3. Ava Starr - Ghost (Ant-Man & The Wasp)

One of the most underrated characters in the MCU, Ghost was a highlight for me in the Ant-Man trilogy. With a tragic backstory, skills to match the Winter Soldier and an actual interesting power, I'm really excited to see where they go with this character.

Plus I love her new suit.

4. Bob - The Sentry (Thunderbolts*)

Lewis Pullman is playing "Bob" who is most likely Robert Reynolds AKA The Sentry, a Superman like superhero who struggles with memory loss, and has the power of "a million suns".

Due to the S in the trailer and his general confusion, Sentry will likely join the team, and his archenemy The Void will may even be the main antagonist.

As a powerful longhaired hero, he fills the role of a Thor for our Avengers, which is a definite need.

The mystery behind Bob as well as the inclusion of a new Superman like character is very fun. I do think a need for every MCU movie is an addition of a new interesting character, so Bob must stay.

Now that we have our 4 stays, let's make some fun additions.

5. Agent Dex Poindexter - Bullseye (Daredevil Season 3)

Agent Poindexter fills a couple of significant roles from the Avengers and from the Thunderbolts* who we took off the list.

Like Taskmaster, Bullseye is an assassin, who worked for a puppet master who is still very much alive and around in the MCU. But unlike many of the other killers on this list, he enjoys killing. As the teams resident sociopath, he can be the devil on their shoulder, egging the team on to go further than they have before.

He also nicely fills the teams role as their Hawkeye. The both have perfect aim, have taken on new identities to commit atrocities, and started off as law men.

It also gives all viewers great homework, because everyone should watch Daredevil.

6. Aaron Davis - The Prowler (Spider-Man Homecoming / Across the Spider-Verse)

The Spider side of the MCU has very much stayed in its place due to Sony. One character who has appeared in both Sony and Marvel, portrayed by the same actor I might add, is Aaron Davis.

Aaron Davis first appeared in Spider-Man Homecoming, and if we believe him to portray the same character in Across the Spider-Verse, has evolved into his role as Prowler now.

Prowler with his tech, claws, skills, and general goofy vibe, could fill the role of a Black Panther or Spider-Man for our group, and much like Spider-Man, be the ground level criminal entering this world of Assassins and Gods.

You can also view him as more of a thief than anything else. Like Aladdin or Star-Lord, fitting him into this team but definitely bringing a different perspective as opposed to Bullseye.

I see Prowler as a secondary lead character, one who has Yelena's back over some of the others, and hopefully makes it out of this mission alive.

7. Titania (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law)

Where there are Avengers, there is need for muscle.

Titania is one the secondary villains from Marvel's She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, notably played by Good Place actress Jameela Jamil.

Titania fills the role of a Hulk / Captain Marvel to the group as our resident strong woman, but also takes up Red Guardians role as comedic relief.

As a social media influencer and fashion icon, she'll bring a very different energy than our other two heroines. She also has the tendency to back whoever to keep herself alive, meaning she may team up with the worst of our titular team if there is a coup.

Plus I'd like her to dawn her wrestler outfit.

8. Justin Hammer - MACH-1 (Iron Man 2)

With many of the Avengers roles filled, all we need is left is a billionaire genius playboy.

Since his debut in Iron Man 2, Sam Rockwell fans have been clamoring for the actor to return as Justin Hammer. While we have inklings of him in All Hail to to King & What If, having Justin as comedic relief and the teams resident tech expert can add a different flavor to the team.

While Justin Hammer doesn't have an alter ego in the comics, he could take on the role of Titanium Man like he does in the animated show, Iron Man Armored Adventures.

My only gripe is the name is a little too close to Titania, so I recommend he takes on the name Mach-1, the alter ego of the Beetle when he joined the Thunderbolts.

While he is not The Beetle, he is still a villain pretending to be a hero, and several have taken on the name of Mach-1, so I think it'll be fine.

With just a few notable changes, my MCU team is now complete.

We now have heroes and villains from across the MCU, all with unique skills, powers, tools and motivations.

And once they all suit up...

They'll make one hell of a team.

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider following, and check out my socials and other sites here! And let me know: Who do you think should be on the Thunderbolts*?

[loki-cees-all]

For the celebration, what would Loki do if he realized your birthday was coming up but you were sad about getting older? Or being alone on that day?

The Distraction {Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / Cee and K's Glorious Birthday Bash Celebration Prompt List / AO3 Link

Pairing : (hints of) Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader

Summary : Another year, another birthday. All you want to do is not think about it too much, so Loki comes up with a helpful distraction.

W/c : 1.5k words

Content/Warnings : Fluff, a smidgeon of angst, Loki & reader friendship, hints that it could be something more

Author's Note : Apologies this took so long, @queen-paladin. Hope you enjoy it! <3

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

“So, what are your plans for this evening?” 

Bruce’s question had caught you off guard. Zoning out a while ago, you were only brought back to the reality of the Avengers conference room once you felt everyone’s gaze upon you. The meeting hadn’t started yet, and apparently the conversation had shifted to the subject of your birthday during the wait, much to your own chagrin. 

“Climbing a mountain? Wrangling a wild lion? Threesome? Stop me when I’m getting warm,” Tony offered without looking up from his cell phone; even while not paying attention, he still needed to make the most entertaining guess possible.

Clint laughed as he twirled a pen between his fingers. “Angling for an invite?”

“Well, surely she’ll be reflecting on her triumphs and accomplishments over the past year. Isn’t that what mortals do on their birthdays?” Thor mumbled through a mouthful of several donuts. His question was a genuine one, and so was his smile; and he meant no harm, but it still made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. 

“Only if Lady Gaga is the third,” Tony replied to Clint with a smirk. The conversation was already spiraling wildly out of control, and your throat was starting to dry up. 

“Leave her be,” Natasha interrupted, sensing your discomfort from across the table. “You guys aren’t cool enough to hear about her birthday plans anyway…” 

As you brought the coffee cup to your lips, Natasha shot you a wink, and you were grateful for the save. Truthfully, you hated your birthday and therefore had nothing on the agenda…other than your definitely exciting plans of catching some much-needed shut-eye and trying not to think too much about anything. 

“Whatever her plans are, she’s definitely earned it. And we all wish you the happiest of birthdays,” Steve smiled reassuringly before clearing his throat to begin the meeting. 

As he went on and on about intel reports and reminders about the importance of collateral damage mitigation, one pair of eyes continued to linger on you - soft, thoughtful, curious. He hadn’t said much during the previous conversation, but then again, he never did. 

Instead, Loki preferred to study and listen, to learn whatever he could in the silence of everything left unsaid. And once the meeting finally adjourned, you silently retreated to your private quarters, eager for the silence where no one would expect you to say anything. 

The evening snow had cocooned the city in a blanket of chilled warmth, cozy and elegant and quiet. There were no sirens and emergencies that night; it was so cold outside that even villains and criminals couldn’t be bothered to stir up trouble. 

Snuggled up tight in your bed inside Stark Tower with your phone on silent mode, you drifted in and out of consciousness - thinking about everything that had passed you by, dreaming about what you’d never be able to accomplish. You had made it to the Avengers Team, an impressive feat to be sure, but how long would that last?

Would you ever feel like you’d made it in a building surrounded by Gods and geniuses, miracles and champions? Would you ever find love? Did Avengers ever get a happy ending? Probably not…

The knuckles of a careful hand tapped on your door, rousing you from your thoughts. It was late - almost midnight, minutes away from not having to think about your birthday for another year. 

Begrudgingly, you extracted yourself from the warm blankets and trudged to the door of your private quarters. The air was frigid and sharp, and you shivered as you brushed the hair out of your eyes and looked through the peephole. 

Loki waited on the other side of the door, standing tall and regal, yet casual and sincere, all at the same time. And despite the late hour, or maybe even because of it, he looked even more beautiful than usual. 

You had no idea why he was here; you hadn’t spent much time with him outside the confines of missions, but you always wished that was different. When he did speak up, he was clever and funny, and he seemed to be at least somewhat amused by you too. But he preferred seclusion, and so did you. 

Swallowing hard, you scrambled to smooth out your wrinkled pajamas and comb your fingers through your messy hair, trying to appear at least somewhat put together as you pulled open the door. 

“Apologies for the late intrusion, but…could I have a moment of your time?” he greeted, smiling an infuriating combination of charm and consideration. 

You nodded and tried to ignore the butterflies in your belly as you stepped aside to let him in. “Yeah, of course. Sorry, I just got back from the, um…” 

Loki followed you inside, his hands placed casually in his pockets as he looked curiously around your room. But his gaze returned to you as your voice trailed off, waiting patiently for you to continue. 

“From the, um…place with the…” you trailed off again, trying to come up with an interesting thing you had done that night. Loki arched an eyebrow and an amused smile crept across his face as he watched you try to come up with a believable lie. 

Sighing heavily and resigning to admit the truth, you collapsed down on the couch. “I didn’t go anywhere tonight. I really hate my birthday.” 

Loki chuckled and sat down carefully next to you. “Yes, I’d gathered as much. It seems like birthdays are a mixed bag for humans…” 

“Yeah, they really are…” you replied quietly, staring at your fingers as they pressed and fidgeted with one another. “Is it the same way with Asgardian birthdays?” 

Loki shifted on the couch to lean back and cross his legs. “Well, we don’t really have a concept of birthdays where I’m from. After the first thousand or so, I’d imagine that they’d probably become incredibly…tedious,” he answered thoughtfully. 

“Yeah, that makes sense…” 

Silence descended upon you both, and you realized it was the first time you’d ever been alone with him. He smelled like an ancient forest and the spices of a distant land. It was comforting, and suddenly you couldn’t remember why you’d never invited him over before. 

“So what is it about your special day that’s left you so melancholy?” 

You laughed and shook your head as you leaned back too, staring up at the ceiling overhead. “You’re the God of Lies, and from what I’ve gathered, a quick study on humanity. So why don’t you tell me?” 

“Well, from my thorough interrogations of other humans…” Loki smiled teasingly before letting out a deep breath. “I’d wager it has to do with the passage of time. The reminder of your own mortality. The pressures that society places on you to have the best day ever. When in reality, it’s just…another day one needs to make it through.” 

You turned to look at him, and he met your gaze. His green eyes were beautiful, sparkling even in the low light of your quarters. “Mmm. You really are a quick study…” 

“Well, I do what I can…” Loki hummed in response. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something else, and your breath hitched; but instead, he turned his head to look out the window. 

Returning your attention to your hands, you tried not to think about what he was going to say, or what it meant that he was here. That you were alone together. That he was…trying to comfort you, in his own way. 

“It’s a pity to waste all that…” he murmured absentmindedly as he pulled the curtains aside. 

The snow was starting to pile up outside, and the sky was filled with fluttering sheets of crisp white, effortlessly dimming the lights of the city and making you feel like you two were the only ones left in the world. “Shall we go and have what you humans call a snowball fight?” 

You laughed incredulously. “The God of Mischief wants to spend the last few minutes of my birthday having a snowball fight?” 

Loki turned back to you with a playful grin on his face. It was intoxicating and delightful. “Why not? You seem like you could use a distraction. And what is mischief if not a distraction?” 

You couldn’t help but smile, the biggest one you’d had all day. Loki returned your smile in earnest as he stood up, ready to go. He held his hand out for you to take it, and you couldn’t believe the blessing he was offering. 

“Okay - but no magic. I am just a weak mortal, and it is still technically my birthday…” you teased, accepting his helping hand. 

Loki laughed with a warm smile. “Agreed, I won’t use any magic. Wouldn’t want to humiliate you on your birthday, now would I?”

You really didn’t care whether you won or lost the upcoming fight. All that mattered was that you had a distraction - and Loki was the perfect one. 

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ──  ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅  ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

[imtryingbuck]

Come back

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 3,919

Warnings: Angst. Sad times. Swearing. A grave gets dug up. Brock Rumlow. 

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

  In Loving Memory Of Y/n L/n

    Killed In Action Saving 5 Innocent Children

    Dedicated Agent

    Friend To Everyone

 10/05/1990 - 10/05/2017

“Pass me a donut will ya”

Everyday since the plaque went up 5 years ago, Bucky always reads it. Everyday a small chuckle will leave his lips when reading the quote Tony made sure was engraved in the marble. ‘She always said it and she did tell me once that when she died to have it on the plaque they HAD to give her’ Tony repeated that conversation when they deciding what would be put on the plaque. It was true, did she always say it. He can hear her voice saying the words he reads every day. 

Putting his two fingers to his lips he lightly kisses them, the gently places his fingers on her photo. Her ID photo took 8 tries to take because she wouldn’t sit still or she wouldn’t keep a straight face. In the end they settled on the final one, her with a huge smile on her face. She told Bucky once when he had asked-

‘why are you smiling in your photo?’

‘Because a smile a day keeps the dentist at bay’ 

‘That’s not an expression’

‘Well it should be’

He missed her more and more every day. Today however left a bitter taste in his mouth, today was the anniversary of her death. 

Every year since they watched their friend die, the team makes sure they don’t have missions just so they can celebrated her death as well as her birthday.

Every year on that painful day they gather in the common room and watch all of her favourite films and play all the board games she went crazy over, they would order and/or cook her favourite food. Then they would each blow out a candle on the large donut Tony had specially made for her birthday. 

He remembers that day when Tony surprised her with it a few years before her death. Her squeals made everyone laugh, she made everyone blow out one candle ‘it’s my birthday and I want everyone to get a wish’ and as the years passed they still did it.

They were halfway through the third film when director Fury walked in.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but you guys need to hear this”

“What is it?” Tony asks sitting up from where he was slouching.

“Earlier today there was an attack at SHIELD headquarters”

“How many are dead?” Steve asks. 

“The real question you need to ask is how many are alive Rogers”

“Well?” Natasha speaks up from where she sits next to Wanda.

“None. 28 people are in critical condition” each member of the team murmur their different abbreviations of ‘oh god’.

“Who was it do you know?” Steve questions. 

Walking around the sofa and sitting down on the lone chair Fury sighs “There’s was only one person. With a symbol on their back, take a wild guess which one”

“Hydra” They all speak at the same time.

“Yep. Now heres the reason why I’m here. The computers were tampered with, the IT department has managed to find out what was deleted”

“Go on” Tony says when Fury trails off.

“The file.. the only file to be downloaded and deleted was Y/n’s.”

The teams reaction was different from one another’s however Bucky, Bucky’s heart stopped, he’d gone cold and clammy at the same time, so many questions circled his mind. Why hers? Why now? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? Why her of all agents?

It was as if Steve could read his mind because it was him that asked “Why hers? She’s been dead for 6 years now. Why would Hydra want her file?”

“We-I don’t know. Now here’s the part you guys are not going to like. Ross wants Y/n’s body to be dug up”

Before anyone get say anything “Absolutely fucking not! You touch her grave I’ll kill you myself!” Bucky shouts.

“Then I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again” booms Thor.

“Listen to me, I don’t want to do this! Ro-“

“I don’t care what Ross wants. It’s bad enough her headstone needs to be replaced every two months because of arseholes keep wanting a piece of it, now you want to dig her up? It nearly killed all of us watching her coffin go into that hole now you want us to watch it come back up?” Bucky’s left hand is balled tight in a fist as he paces back and forth.

“You don’t have to watch and you need to watch your tone” Fury shot back.

“What are you going to do with her?” Wanda asks before Bucky can say anything.

“We’ll put her somewhere different- safer. It’s just a precaution and we have no idea what they want with her file. We don’t know why they picked her out of all active agents and Barnes I don’t like this anymore than you do, Y/n was” taking in a deep breath “I miss her too. I’m sorry but I’m going to give Ross the go ahead on this. You guys don’t have to to be there when it happens and when we find out what’s going on we’ll bury her again. I promise”

For a full 20 minutes after Fury left they were sitting in complete silence each trying to wrap their heads around the information they were just given. SHIELD headquarters had been attacked by Hydra - using just one person to assassinate so many agents. Out of all the Agents of SHIELD alive or dead they pick their friends file, their friend who they loved and adored the same friend who always had a smile on her face no matter what, the one person who could light up a room just by walking inside of it. A person who was so full of happiness and sunshine yet deadly and damn right terrifying when she needed to be. 

Now said friend who they have grieved for, for the past 6 years was about to have her resting place disturbed. Like Bucky had said to Fury, it nearly killed each and everyone of the Avengers and the Guardians - who came to Earth just to attend her funeral - they knew that the probability of dying on the job was high, of course they did, they just never expected it to happen to her, they had to watch as their friend, confidant, colleague, the better half to all of them lay in a box surrounded with 4 camera crews broadcasting their every move just so the whole world could watch them in their most vulnerable moment. They watched as her coffin was gently placed into the ground, knowing that it was going to be the last time they would ever see her after the soil would cover her.

They broke. Plain and simple, they broke. Worst part of it was is that the world lapped it up, the images of Natasha more famously known as the Black Widow standing at the grave of her best friend in bright colour clothing crying, was every where - people joked about how the deadly assassin was crying, saying she wasn’t as strong as everyone made her out to be because she cried. Y/n was undoubtedly the only person Nat felt comfortable with, the one person who saw Natasha as Natasha, not the Black Widow but her friend Natty. She was actually the first person in a very long time to see Nat cry, it was when the goldfish - that Y/n had brought her after she found out that Nat had always wanted one - had died, she felt so unbelievably stupid for crying over it but all Y/n did was hold her, told her to stop being silly for calling herself stupid. They buried it near the lake, just the two of them. Y/n even had bagpipes playing on her phone which made the redhead chuckle.

Wanda was called a crybaby because guess what? She was crying, she was crying because she was burying her best friend! The first person other than Steve to treat her like a human being. The first person to show her that not all people were bad, the one person who wasn’t scared of her that time when Wanda had lost control of her powers making people run in fear, not Y/n though nope she was the one who managed to help Wanda ground herself.

Steve was also mocked for crying for the loss of his friend, ‘Captain America weeps at funeral’, ‘Captain America is weak’, ‘Steve Rogers needs to give up the shield’. Y/n was the one who taught him how to use technology, showed him how the modern world worked and operated. She was the first person on his side when he wanted to track Bucky down. He loved her, not romantically, but he loved her so much. She made him feel normal, she never treat him like he was nearing a 100 years old who was missing 70 years of his life, like he actually was.

Sam just like the rest was called weak for crying at his friends funeral. The two of them drove the whole team insane when they were together (which was pretty much all the time) Like Steve he loved Y/n, she was his sister, his angel as he always called her. She was his best friend, favourite person in the world. The photo of Sam falling to his knees at the side of his angels grave was blasted all over the internet.

The photos of Tony clinging on to his now wife Pepper made front pages as well. ‘Billionaire Tony Stark cries at funeral of dead agent’. ‘Billionaire Tony Stark has to be held up by woman at funeral’. He saw Y/n as his daughter - shit she called him dad and he introduced her to anyone as his daughter. She didn’t see him as a bank, nope she hated it when he would give her money, one time she had to ask him if she could borrow money from him doing it with tears in her eyes because she felt ashamed of herself for asking. A few weeks later she gave him the money back with interest, when he told her to stop being silly and for her to keep it they argued for nearly 3 hours. She managed to slip the money into his pocket without him even realising it. Tony loved her so deeply, when he and Pepper found out they was having a baby girl they already had her name picked out - Morgan, Y/n’s middle name.

‘God of Thunder Thor spotted crying at funeral’ Like everyone else of course he was crying he lost his friend, she made him laugh, she made confused - once she convinced him that she was invisible and that he was the only person who could see or hear her, for 3 weeks he was absolutely convinced he was the only person on planet Earth who could see her. It wasn’t until Sam got back from a mission that the whole jig was up. He was truly captivated by her but even more so especially after she was able to lift Mjölnir higher up than Steve was able to, waved his hammer around like it weighed nothing. He, like Bucky, blamed himself for her death, he thought no believed it was his fault she was no longer with them. So yes of course he cried.

Bruce wasn’t allowed to attend his friends funeral because when she died he couldn’t control the big green beefy fella - as Y/n called him - from coming out. Fury and Ross said it would be bad and take the attention away from Y/n if the Hulk was there. He agreed. Y/n loved Hulk like she loved Bruce, she wasn’t afraid of the Hulk - Christ she once tried to have an arm wrestle with him! She didn’t once make Bruce feel like he was a freak or a dangerous monster as small minded people called him. No she treat him with respect and kindness. It took 2 months for him to go from being Hulk to being Bruce again.

Clint turned his hearing aids off for months after her death, he remembered her asking him to teach her how to sign language just so he didn’t have to always wear them. That was an interesting experience to say the very least. Clint adored her, adored the spark she carried around, adored the warmth and tranquillity she oozed. Her strength, willpower and willingness that no one could dream of having been one of the many things he loved about her, and what he misses. The day after she died he went home, home to his wife and children where he collapsed in Laura’s arms and cried himself to sleep that night. He too was mocked for being weak.

Then there was the photos of Bucky who was struggling to stand strong. ‘The world’s deadliest assassin cries’ was the headline on magazine’s for weeks or his personal favourite one ‘Winter Soldier more like Weak Soldier’ Like Nat he too was mocked because he wasn’t wearing all black but bright colours - hell they all were, it was what she wanted and whatever Y/n wanted, she got. Her death hit him the hardest. He loved her. He still loves her after 6 years of her being gone. ‘True love is what them two idiots have’ Tony would say. He blamed himself for what had happened to her, he had just turned his back for a second to hand a child to an agent when the whole building came down trapping her inside, he should of done more he always tells himself. Other than Steve she was his best friend, the one person who wasn’t afraid off his arm, the only person who could calm him down after a nightmare. She was the first person he opened up to and not once did she judge him or called him names, after he finished telling her all the things he remembered she got up and walked over to him and pulled him in for a hug, crying her heart out and apologising over and over again. The worst part for Bucky other than losing her was that he never got to tell her how madly in love he was with her. 

“It doesn’t make sense” Steve was the one who broke the silence.

“Which part?” Tony asks.

“Everything. The attack, Y/n’s file, Ross wanting her to be dug up. Nothing makes sense”

“We need to figure this out. We can’t let them do this to her” Sam shakes his head, whilst trying to keep the tears he was fighting back at bay.

“Fury let me into his thoughts. They think they’re trying to find out how to recreate her genes.” Wanda finally speaks.

Once again the room went quiet. Y/n back story was still a bit of a mystery to the team. It was just something she never spoke about, they knew of the scars that covered the majority of her body and they did know of her mutant gene and that was it. 

Y/n was exactly like Logan, better known as Wolverine. Though Logan’s a Beta level mutant whereas Y/n was an Alpha level, the only one of her kind. She had complete control over her abilities, her fighting skills were untouchable and unmatched. She was a part of the Weapon X program, when she was a young child she was taken from the orphanage she was placed at as a baby - and unknown to the team she was subjected to the worst abuse imaginable at the hands of The Facility. Unlike Logan though her Adamantium claws weren’t poisonous.

And what made Y/n even stronger was just like Wanda she had telekinesis abilities, though Y/n was a bit stronger than the other woman.

They didn’t know that Logan had found her when she was 16, with a chain wrapped around her neck that was connected to the wall, in a dark room that only had a toilet - nothing else. Logan had managed to get her out, which wasn’t easy considering she didn’t trust him and he wasn’t her handler. Logan kept her with him for roughly three years, moving around place to place, keeping each other safe. He was growing weak and unable to keep his promise to her, promise being he’d keep her safe. With a heavy heart he took her to Fury, begging the other man to take care of her. And since then she was a highly respected SHIELD agent and member of the Avengers.

They knew if Hydra were trying to recreate her genes they would have an army that would be unstoppable.

“But why dig her up? Hydra has her file so therefore they… they…”

“Tony? You okay?”

“Other than finding out my daughters grave will be disturbed, I’m fine”. He gets up and walks away.

One by one they follow his lead, leaving Bucky and Thor to blow out the candles - making the same wish as the previous years.

For her to come back.

The very next day they all gather at the cemetery and watched with a heavy heart as her grave gets dug up.

Three days later Fury gets a phone call “Fury you need to come to the Pentagon as soon as you can and don’t tell anyone”

“On my way”.

As soon as he got there he meets with Ross. “What’s all this about?”

“It’s not her”

“What are you talking about Ross?”

“Y/n… it’s not her in the coffin.”

“Hold on, you fucking lied to me you told me you wasn’t going to touch her!”

“Fury we brought a dead agent to the Pentagon for a reason”.

“A dead agent? Remember that dead agent saved you life how many times? Oh yeah six. Six fucking times she saved your arse Ross.” The anger coming off Fury made everyone in the room shift foot to foot.

“Sorry, we brought Y/n to the Pentagon for a reason”

“Why?”

“Simple. We wanted to make sure that they hadn’t gotten to her so we checked, and it’s not her. If-if you just look to your left Nick you’ll see the body that was in her coffin”

Fury stood there for a few minutes just staring at Ross before he looked over to where he had pointed. 

There laid the decaying body of a woman, that was most definitely not Y/n.

“H-how is this possible?”

“We don’t know. It’s a possibility that Hydra got her body first, but it doesn’t explain why they would put this person in her place”

“Or she could be alive?” Fury asked hopefully.

“She’s not” Ross puts a hand to Fury’s shoulder “I checked the footage of the attack and it’s not her, I asked some of the agents that could talk if the person had claws and they all said no” Ross hated himself for calling her ‘a dead agent’ even if she was just that, but like Fury had said, she saved his life more times than one. When Y/n was introduced to him, he had to admit he was intimidated by her. But as time went on they gained each others trust and respect.

“Fury you can’t tell the Winter Soldier about this”

“James. His name is James and you honestly expect me not to say anything to the team?”

“We have no idea how any of them will react, especially him and Thor”

He hated to admit that Ross did have a point, there was no idea how the two men who blamed themselves for her death, would react.

Sighing “What are we going to do?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s just hope and pray that they don’t have her I guess”.

The screams of pure terror coming from civilians were muffled by the gunfire and explosions, the bodies of civilians and SHIELD agents scattered amongst the wreckage. Hydra made another attack on the Capital.

The Avengers were able to stop Hydra agents from pushing further forwards. But when the ground started to shake they all looked at each other.

Both Steve and Bucky gulped at the sight of the Uber Tank, memories of seeing it during the war flashed through their minds.

“What the fuck is that!” Tony questioned.

“T-that’s Hydras Tank - I thought I destroyed it” Steve answers.

The rain pour of gunfire came to a stop on both sides, agents of Hydra smirked, agents of SHIELD looked terrified. The rumbling stopped, the only sound that could be heard was rubble still falling in the background.

When the hatch came open they waited with bated breath. Rumlow.

Brock Rumlow climbed up and out of the tank, standing on top with a megaphone.

“Do you like her? She’s a real beauty isn’t she? Took us longer than I care to admit to rebuild her but here she is!” He laughs “Hey so the attack the other week on your headquarters, sorry about that. We just needed something, take a wild guess what” Not receiving an answer he sighs and tilts his head to the side “It was to get your friends file! Jesus do I have to do all the work around here?”

“I’ve got a clean shot” Voiced Clint from where ever he was at.

“Not yet” Steve says.

“Truth to be told guys we didn’t need her file, we just wanted to give you a heads up to what was going to come” Waving his arms towards to chaos “I knew if we took her file it would get your attention, and it did didn’t it. I also know that her coffin was taken to the Pentagon, and I also know that Fury’s been keeping a secret from the almighty Avengers”

“What are you talking about?” Steve shouted.

Rumlow chuckles “It’s about time you spoke Captain America, the secret is… how about I just show you huh?” Stomping three times on the Uber Tank “Little bird why don’t you come out so you can play”

The hatch comes open again, a figure all in black - very similar outfit that the Winter Soldier use to wear - emerged and moving their way to stand next to Rumlow.

“Our little bird here is even stronger than she once was. We gave her the serum and it just enhanced her strength.” Moving closer to the person he whispers something none of them could hear. “Look I’ve gotta go, don’t worry I’ll be taking this beauty with me so no need to cry. I’ll let little bird have all the fun, she deserves it” Placing a kiss to the side of the woman’s head, he pushes her off. “Good luck everyone, you’re gonna need it” Climbing back into the tank, the tracks started to rumble once again before leaving the same way it came.

Nobody moved even long after Rumlow and the Uber Tank had gone. That was until some Hydra agents started to drop to the floor with foam spilling from their mouths.

Little bird as Rumlow called her took one step in front of the other until she was roughly 100 feet on the Avengers.

Her hand slowly came up to her face, removing the bottom half of her mask then the glasses.

They couldn’t believe it.

They didn’t want to believe it.

“Y/n?”

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Through The Years

Jotun!King!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Æsir!Queen!Reader

Summary: This story takes you and Loki on a journey through the twins life. From their first steps all the way to their first time falling in love.

Warnings for this Chapter: bit angst? sad/slightly desperate Loki, drama, yelling? fluff

Word Count: 3k

a/n: This chapter is a very important one, I'd say. After all, we are going to find out who is going to be the heir to the throne! 👀

Also, I thought I post this today, because it's Tomathy's birthday! 🥳🥰

Tags: @eleniblue @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jaidenhawke @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @multifandom-worlds @huntedmusicgardenn @lokiforever @captain-camille @lokisgoodgirl @smolvenger @hisredheadedgoddess28 @glitchquake @chennqingg @icytrickster17 @princess-ofthe-pages @crimson25 @buttercupcookies-blog @elegantcheesecakecrown @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @loz-3 @herdetectivetheorist @simping-for-marvel @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @jennyggggrrr @lady-rose-moon @salvinaa @lovingchoices14 @irishhappiness @sheris532 @princessdragon23 @xxannyxx

❄️ Chapter Three ❄️ Chapter Five ❄️

Ice Flower AU Masterlist ❄ Loki Masterlist ❄ Masterlist

Chapter Four - The Crown Prince

"What bothers you, my king?" You asked your husband in a soft, hushed voice - not to startle him. He was standing on the big balcony of your shared chambers, gazing into distance. Loki and the landscape to his feet were bathed in bright, soft blue moonlight; illuminating the dark. Summers on Jotunheim were beautiful, you learned. Some might would not expect this, but it was true. It wasn't super warm though, unlike on Asgard. Warm enough to grow crops and such, but that was it. Certainly not warm enough to run around naked - at least for you. While Loki stood there in nothing but his sleep loincloth, you were tightly wrapped up in your Asgardian dressing gown - plus some warm fur slippers. The nights were colder anyway.

"Is it what I think it is?" You questioned him further; now wrapping your hands around his strong torso; hugging him from behind. "The announcement?" You felt how Loki took a deep breath and sighed, "Yes, my queen." before he put his big hands on your smaller ones. "I... I am afraid I made the wrong decision and..." You ran your thumb in a caressing manner over the bulging muscles of his abs. "And?" He swallowed. "I never wanted to choose. I knew from the moment they were born that I had to one day, but... I never wanted to carry this burden. Why cannot decide someone else? The people? Or our advisors?" You sighed as well, knowing how bad he felt. "I know, my love, I know, but... Unfortunately, it's the king's decision. It always was; always will be." He scoffed, clearly affected by all this. "I remember that day... Clearly. Father chose Thor. Being the first born was to his advantage, but... Nevertheless, Odin would've chosen my brother. He believed he was the better king. Wiser. More mature. I accepted it - and in the end, I'm glad he didn't choose me. Because if he had, who knows if our paths ever crossed? I doubt it." The king squeezed your hands gently; loving - bathing in your embrace. "Well, I am glad, too, love. I am lucky to call you my queen now - and wife. I wouldn't want any other princess. Just you. Always you..." He muttered, pausing. "But this is different... Our boys are twins. No first born. No one of them has an advantage. By the norns, I wouldn't even want that... We always treated them equally - how it should be and now... Now I am forced to favour one of them. As a father, this is cruel."

Your heart broke at his words. You knew very well how he must feel. It wasn't fair - but that was a burden of being alive... Sometimes it was just not fair. "I know, my love, I know," you whispered and pressed a lingering kiss on the soft skin of his bare back. "I find this just as cruel as you do. Parents shouldn't have to ever put one child over the others and it's just not fair, but... Life unfortunately isn't fair..." You spoke the words on your mind, but stopped to press another reassuring kiss on his skin. "You need to remind yourself that this is a decision you make as a king. Not as a father." You could hear your husband swallowing again, before he turned in your embrace and lowered his upper body, in order to press his forehead against yours. "Should I mirror your words in front of them? Tell Áki and Váli that I'd never make this decision as a father, but have to as a king?" You nodded. "Yes. I think it would be important for them to know." Another deep sigh left your husband's lips. "I hope they'll understand... I don't know what to do if they don't."

You loosened your grip around his torso and lifted your hands to cup his cheeks; giving Loki a soft smile. "They'll understand. I know they will." The king nodded, squeezed his eyes shut and held you even closer. You let him, of course, enjoyed the tight embrace you were in.

"Let's go to bed, my king, shall we?" "Yes." You led Loki back to your marital bed then, sunk together with him in the sheets and held him close. It was just what he needed that night. The undying, unshakeable love and support of his wife.

Nevertheless, didn't have Loki a restful night. He tossed and turned from time to time; thoughts running wild inside his head. That was the reason why he was up quite early; watching the sun rise over Jotunheim.

You woke up with the sun as well; sleepy eyes searching for your husband. "Loki?" "Over here, my love." Your eyes followed his voice. He was sitting on the settee in front of the empty fireplace; gaze settled on you. "Good morning, darling." You smiled sleepy; stretching your limbs. "Good morning." You could feel his beautiful ruby eyes on you; watching you with an overwhelming amount of love and gentleness. But when your gaze met his, you could also see how troubled he was. Still. Your expression softened. "C'mere, my love." Reaching out your hand towards him, you waited for him to take it.

It only took him a few seconds to bridge the distance between the settee and bed; eagerly taking your hand into his and intertwining your fingers. You pulled him gently closer, until his legs hit the edge of the bed and he had no other choice but to lean down. With a soft, loving smile, you caught his lips with yours; kissing him lazily. Loki's eyes fluttered shut; heart beating faster. He'd never get tired of kissing you. Never.

"Have you decided yet?" Your sweet voice urged to his ears; pulling the king down on the harsh reality. Perhaps he got lost in your eyes for a few moments... With a deep sigh he nodded, "I have, yes." and told you this important decision.

"What do you think of it? Do I... Do I make the right choice, my queen?" Loki was so uncertain and troubled. You'd even go as far and say that he was afraid. So, you tried your best to comfort him. Just like you did last night. "I'd say you do, yes." You said honestly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "He'll make a great further king. I am convinced by that."

Mere hours later, the king of Jotunheim was in his throne room, sitting upon his throne. His leg bounced nervously up and down; he definitely felt the burden of the upcoming event on his shoulders, weighing him down. Like hypnotized, he stared on the big doors, waiting for them to open - which they did only a few minutes later, revealing two guards and his twin sons. The guards let them in, took a bow and closed the doors again, leaving the three men alone.

"You wanted to see us, dad?" Áki was the first one to talk; being definitely the braver twin. Puberty changed the young men, of course, but not their characters. Áki was brave and talkative, while Váli was shyer and more reserved. Not that Váli didn't have braveness within him, but not as much as his brother.

Loki nodded, took a deep breath. "How to begin with?" He muttered to himself, before standing up and stepped closer to his sons. "I have to talk with you both about something important. But not here. Let's take a walk, shall we?" Said and done. Father and sons left the palace only minutes later. "Do we have to be afraid of what you need to tell us?" Váli asked, eyeing Loki with a slightly worried gaze. "No, it's... It's..." The king took another breath. "You are now 20 years old. You've grown into big, strong and wise men - without a doubt. And I couldn't be prouder of you. I really am - and so is your mother." The twin brothers exchanged a sceptical look. Not that they never heard those words from their father before, no - quite the opposite, but... Something in Loki's voice was different. Áki and Váli could tell. "You learned so much in all those years. About Jotunheim, about your heritage, about how to act as princes - and you're doing it to perfection." Loki paused. "It is time for me to make a decision. I avoided it for a long time; tried to escape it, but... I can't do it much longer. Our people, the advisors - yes, the whole kingdom expects from me to finally decide. And I have. I had to."

Váli frowned at his father, while Áki already had a guess. "What is this all about, dad?" Loki sighed. "The throne. My successor." Váli was definitely more surprised than his brother. "T-The throne? You are telling us who the crown prince is going to be?" "Exactly, my son." Áki just nodded. "We're ready for it. I am ready for it." Loki smiled at his sons. "I know you both are. I just don't know if I am ready. Well, I guess I'll never be - but that doesn't matter." The king swallowed hard. "But before I am going to tell you this, I want you both to know that it wasn't an easy decision for me. I thought long about this. Mostly even at night. I want you to know, that I made this decision as a king - not as a father. I never would. My love for you is equally strong. It always was and it always will be. I love you more than life itself, my sons." Áki smiled, just like his brother. "We love you, too." Váli agreed. "We do - and we know that you'd never favour one of us above the other as a father, but have to as a king."

Those words meant a lot to Loki; helping to ease his fear and worries a bit. He stopped and turned to place a hand on a shoulder of each twin. "This means a lot to me. I'm glad you understand. Now that that's settled..." Loki swallowed hard. "Váli, Áki... Each of you is perfectly qualified for the throne, but... I'd like you to be the future king of Asgard, Váli." The young man's eyes widened. He absolutely hadn't seen that coming. He always had expected his brother to be the future king. Áki was stronger, braver - a warrior and a true Jotun, while Váli was... Just himself. A bit dreamy, quiet and had his nose always buried in a book. Despite that, he looked like his mother - an Æsir. Not Jotun. Was that really what his father wanted? What the people wanted?

"W-What? M-Me?" Loki nodded. "Yes, you, Váli." "B-But... Why?" The king smiled softly. "Because you are smart, wise and kind. You always make the right decisions. You are well-read and know how to rule." Váli was literally speechless. His lips moved, but now words left his mouth. "And I am not?!" The angry, clearly jealous voice of Áki cut through the air. Loki quickly redirected his attention, looked his other son in the eyes. "I never said that, Áki. You are smart and wise. You have a lot of kindness in you as well, but-" "But what?!" The furious prince literally spat. "You're a bit hot-headed. You have so much passion and energy flowing through your veins. You, my son, are the greatest warrior I have ever seen. Even greater than I am - which is why I believe, that it would be better for you to defend our home. Make sure it's safe. I want you to stand at your brother's side as his first advisor and leader of our army."

Unlike his brother, Áki rather had expected to be crowned future king. He always found himself perfect for this. Worthy of becoming a king. He didn't want to be jealous of his brother. He really didn't, because he loved Váli dearly. But the heat of the moment and his slightly hot-headed nature blinded him.

Áki answered nothing to his father's almost desperate try to explanation. He just scoffed and stormed off, leaving a distraught Loki behind. This certainly didn't go as planned. That was exactly what Loki always wanted to prevent... What he was fleeing from...

It was already quite late, when Loki decided to approach his son again, in order to talk to him. The king knew, that he couldn't spend the night in peace without having talked to Áki. You told Loki to give him some space, which he understood - but he couldn't wait any longer. He had to talk to him. So, Loki went to his chambers, but found them empty. Áki wasn't there. It didn't stop the king, though. He had a guess, knew exactly where he would most likely find the prince. While Váli preferred to escape into the secret room in the library, whenever he needs to be alone, his brother fled to the training grounds. That's where Loki went next - and he was successful. Áki was there, letting out all his anger and frustration on a Jotun sized target. His sword beat down on it, over and over again; abusing the wooden surface and causing it to splinter. Loki took a deep breath, feeling his nerves again.

"Son..." Áki immediately stopped at the sound of his father's voice. Breathing heavily, with his chest rising and falling quickly, he turned around to face Loki. "What do you want?" "I want to talk with you." Áki released a breathless, derisive chuckle. "Didn't we already talk enough?" Another deep sigh left Loki's lips; desperation crawling up in him once again. "Please, Áki. I know this frustrates you, but-" "No!" The young prince cuts him off. "I don't understand your motives, father! We both know I'd be the better king!" Áki insisted; fury ruby eyes meeting his father's identical ones. "I never denied that! I know you'd be a great king!" "Then why I won't get to be king?!" Loki inhaled sharply and closed his eyes for a moment. "Because of your temper and hot-headed nature. Those aren't exceptionally bad characteristics - and you know that, but-" "But what?!" The prince spat. "Let me finish my sentence, young man, and you'll hear!" Loki had a short fuse sometimes as well. Like father, like son... Áki clapped his mouth shut at Loki's small outburst and took a submissive step back; turned into a little boy again within seconds. "A-Apologies, father." Loki gave him an intense look and crossed his arms over his chest. "I believe that you can use those... abilities of yours way better in being the leader of our army. You fit perfectly in this role. You were always destined to be a warrior. Just like I am. Just like your mother was." The king's anger deflagrated quickly again, when he saw the hurt and sorrowful look in his son's eyes. A little boy once again, indeed.

Loki sighed and stepped closer to his son; placed a hand on his bare shoulder. "Look, I... That is exactly what I always wanted to prevent. What I always was afraid of - since yours and your brother's birth. I knew I had to choose someday - and it scared me to death. Because of that. Because I had to disappoint one of you. I am sorry, son. I truly am. I... I hoped I would be able to compensate your loss of the throne with the position as the leader of our warriors and first advisor, ruling at your brother's side and supporting him like nobody else could..." Loki swallowed, "But I'm afraid, I failed." and shook his head. "But my decision stands. My offer stands." He sighed. "Again, I am truly sorry, Áki. I hope that one day you can wrap your head around this and forgive me - and perhaps accept my gift for you. You can be angry. You have every right to be angry, but please... Don't blame your brother for this. Don't let him feel your wrath." With those words Loki let go of Áki and stepped back in order to leave. "And please... Don't let me lose my son. I couldn't bear it." The king knew when he lost - and that was the case, so he turned around and walked away.

What he didn't expect, though, was Áki's voice, holding him back. "Dad, wait!" He almost yelled, before adding in a quiet voice: "Please..." Loki stopped dead in his tracks. "I... I didn't mean to react the way I did. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It was... inappropriate." Loki swallowed and turned around slowly to face Áki again. "You're right. I have a temper... And I am hot-headed as well. It took over. I got lost in the heat of the moment. I should be grateful for what you're giving me... Not angry." Loki's words hit the young prince; cleared his foggy brain. He could see straight again. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me. Please forgive me, dad." Áki lowered his head in shame and regret.

The king couldn't believe his ears. His son's opinion changed within seconds. His heart skipped undeniably a beat; hoping for an immediate reconciliation with his son.

Loki stepped closer again - and once more found his hand the young warrior's shoulder. This gesture caused him to lift his head again; looking straight in his father's eyes. All Loki could see now in those pools of red was regret and pure honesty. He smiled softly. "Apology accepted." Áki's eyes widened. "W-What? Really?" Loki nodded. "Yes. Like I said... You had every right to be angry. I often acted the same way when I was your age." "Really?" "Really." "S-So... You're forgiving me?" Another smile grazed Loki's cerulean lips. "Of course, son. You're forgiven - but... Apologise to your brother as well. He's blaming himself already the whole day... He even thought about refusing the throne, handing it over to you and learning to fight...." Áki's eyes widened. "By the norns... Of course, I am going to apologise!"

[missymysticc]

The lowly gardener

Pairing: loki x reader

Summary: a gardener of frigga and loki fall in love. Loki is about to have an arranged marriage. They're love is forbidden.

Warning: just angst, fluff, and no smut. No use of y/n. Forbidden romance

A/n: i uploaded the wrong thing the first time. This is a reupload. I accidentally posted half of the first draft.

"Meet me at our spot "

I read the note Loki slipped into my basket. It's risky, I know, we've been sneaking to meet each other for the past 2 years now. It's a miracle we haven't gotten caught.

I am just a gardener. The queen Frigga's gardener to be exact. I tend to the gardens of this palace. While Loki, he's the prince of asgard. no one in my status should even ever be talking to someone like him without permission. But the day he spoke to me, something I never expected, soon became the best moment of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years ago~

"You missed a spot" I look to the left where a small branch or leaves peaked out.

"Oh, apologies, your highness. I didn't notice"

I notice he smells of strong asgardian ale. It lingers, the scent, it's so him. Whenever I walk past Loki after parties he always smells of liquor. I don't mind it, the smell always tells me he is approaching.

"I'm going to ask you something. As someone who isn't close with Thor, what do you think of him?" He asks. This feels like a set up. He has always been jealous of Thor, the ladies he slept with, his status, and most of all, how the allfather favors him. It doesn't take someone near to him to notice.

"I don't think I should answer that question"

"Come on, it's not like anyone's here. It'll be our secret." He winks. I look around making sure no one else is here.

"He's... respectful, he's polite. Oh, and he once picked up the fire lillies I so carelessly dropped. So I guess he's nice” I give a tight lipped smile.

"But...?" Almost as if he read my mind. No wonder he's the God of lies.

"I guess...Look, if you're trying to get validation off of a lowly gardener, trust me, my opinion doesn't matter."

"It matters to me" he steps closer. He looked at me in a shifted demeanor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present day~

I walk quietly into the garden. To the part of the garden where it's covered. Our spot. The vine covered dome; the lilies, who's scent can cure sadness; the tulips, my personal favorite; but none of it matters since my eyes land on the gentleman standing at the corner.

"You came" he seemed surprised.

"Was there a time where I didn't?" I chuckle at his doubtfulness.

"You were hesitant the first few times we met."

“Yet, I still met you every single time you asked”

I took a few steps closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He leans his head on mine. I feel comfort in his arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I lift his head up by his chin. He never looked this upset. I've seen him at his worst, his expression shows a different type of devastation.

"I'm getting married. Father arranged me to marry some princess I have never even met. Like I even bothered to learn her name. I-I can't be married! Not if it's not with you!"

"Love, we knew that we can't be together from the start. We knew that getting into this. I know it's difficult, but all of this was meant to end in due time." I search his face for some sort of clarity. Instead, he pushes me back with confusion written all over his face.

"Do you love me?"

"What are you even asking me?"

"Just answer" my hand cups his cheek wiping of the tears dropping of his eyes.

"Of course I do!"

"Please say it. I just need to hear you say it."

His voice cracks as he looks to the side, then back to me.

"I love you, I'll come back to you more times than the number of all the stars combined. I have loved you ever since the night you asked me such a ridiculous question, and I will love you till the very last sentence you could ever mutter. I love you, and only you." His doubt of my love has always been there. His insecurities that he masks with his so-called self pride, I see through it, I see through it all. It has always been prevalent for me.

"Then why are you alright with me getting married off? You are fine with me with another woman beside me in bed?"

"Of course not! I'm just saying you need to face reality. We were never meant to be together. What reality do you think a mere servant gardener and the all mighty prince of Asgard can be together peacefully?"

He pauses for a minute searching my eyes for something. He sighs, anger surfaces to his face, pushing me back further. He storms off.

The very next day, at sunrise. Someone knocks on the door of my chambers.

“Tyra, I'll be ready in a few-”

My chamber doors open and it isn't Tyra.

“Love.” Loki calls out to me.

“Hey you” I smiled at him. He approaches me and holds both of my hands nearing them to his lips and kisses them.

“You shouldn't be here”qzd

“Would you rather I leave?”

I chuckle

“No, I'd much rather you stay here.”

“I want to apologize. I know I acted irrationally last night. Sometimes I just doubt how anyone as lovely as you could ever want me”

“That's ridiculous! I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have been so unbothered about your arranged marriage. You were upset and instead of comforting you, I made it worse.”

“I really tried to convince my father not to marry me off. He wouldn't budge”

“I know, while you're not married, let's just enjoy each other's company. Not worrying about the future. Just you and me. What do you say?”

He kisses me gently. His lips lingered onto mine longer than usual. No words needed to be said.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Thor: The Dark World (Part One)

Pairing: Loki x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon violence and angst

MCU Rewrite Masterlist

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Long before the birth of light, there was darkness, and from that darkness came the Dark Elves. Millennia ago, the most ruthless of their kind, Malekith, sought to transform the universe back into one of eternal night. Such evil was possible through the power of the Aether, an ancient force of infinite destruction. The noble armies of Asgard, led by Odin's father, King Bor, waged a mighty war against these creatures.

As the Nine Worlds converged above him, Malekith could at last unleash the Aether, but Asgard ripped the weapon from his grasp. Without it, the Dark Elves fell. With the battle all but lost, Malekith sacrificed his own people in a desperate attempt to lay waste to Asgard's army.

Malekith was vanquished, and the Aether was no more... or so they were led to believe.

Loki is put into chains to keep from escaping as he is escorted back into the castle to face sentencing. The muzzle is off his mouth, but he doesn't say a word. Odin, Frigga, and Sif and the Warrior's Three are waiting in the ballroom with a plethora of guards inside. You guess his parents don't want to underestimate him. Loki has magic and can do anything at any time. You don't think he will do anything, but they don't want to take the chance.

You're about to enter the ballroom when one of the guards stops you.

"Let her through. She's a witness and a noble warrior. I trust her," Thor says.

The guard nods and allows you to go through. Thor makes his way to the front, but you don't follow him. You've fought well next to Thor but you don't think Odin would appreciate you standing at the front with the royal family. Instead, you stand off to the side where Loki can still see you.

"Loki," Frigga sighs.

"Hello, mother. Have I made you proud?"

"Please, don't make this worse."

"Define worse."

"Enough!" Odin's voice booms off the walls.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about," Loki laughs.

"Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go, there is war, ruin, and death."

"I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent God. Just like you."

Loki doesn't see the errors of his ways. He's confused, misguided, and full of rage meant for his father. It breaks your heart to see him this way.

"We are not Gods. We are born, we live, and we die. Just as humans do."

"Give or take five thousand years."

Odin decides to change tactics because talking to Loki about what he's done isn't going to get him anywhere.

"All this because Loki desires a throne."

"It is my birthright!"

"Your birthright was to die! Cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me."

"If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just ... I don't love them."

"Frigga is the only reason you are still alive, and you will never see her again. You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons."

Loki looks to his mother who stares at him. He looks at his brother who looks sad for him. He can barely look at you.

"What of Thor? You'll make that witless oaf king while I rot in chains?"

"Thor must strive to undo the damage you have done. He will bring order to the nine realms, and then, yes. He will be king."

Loki is taken down to the dungeons while the rest mutter amongst themselves about the circumstances. You don't wait to hear what they have to say because you're already leaving the ballroom. Thor looks to the right and sees your hair right before the big doors are closed. He knows exactly where you're going, but he doesn't know if you're capable of helping Loki, not after all this time.

The guards place Loki in an empty cell and put up golden glimmering walls that not even Loki can escape from. There is already some furniture inside of it so he's not in a completely barren room but he pays no mind to it. He paces the entire length of the cell in thought while you wait for the guards to leave. There are other prisoners stashed in their own cells, prisoners who have been here for a long time.

They sneer as you walk past them but you don't pay a single lick of attention to them. Loki's back is turned to you when you walk up the steps to his cell. It takes him a second to recognize that you're there based on how his body freezes. He slowly turns to look at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

"That's twice you've snuck up on me." You take a seat on the ledge by the golden wall and Loki follows in your footsteps. There is a small step on the inside of the cell that can fit a person if they decide to sit on it. The only thing separating you and Loki is a thin shimmering gold wall. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to be with you."

"Why? After everything I've done to you, why would you want to stay with me?"

Loki can be so dense sometimes.

"You want to know what you've done to me? You gave me a home when I needed it. You showed me kindness when everyone else gave me pain. You weaseled your way into my heart when I didn't think I had one. What kind of person would I be if I gave up on you after you've done so much for me?"

Loki sighs and looks down at his attire, and he picks a loose piece of thread from it.

"That was a long time ago. You're living in a fantasy." Loki looks into your eyes. "What we had is in the past. It's not real anymore."

"Well, I'm not leaving," you shrug.

"Darling, I'm not a good person," Loki sighs.

"You think I am? Do you really think you're the only one who has done bad shit in their life? Try as much as you want but you're not getting rid of me that easily."

Loki needs to push you away. He needs to get you as far away from his heart as you can. He doesn't know how to deal with someone who loves him despite everything he's done. You scare him. You're everything he doesn't think he deserves.

"Look at where I am!" He's raising his voice to scare you but you're not backing down. "I've killed thousands of humans in one day! How can you sit there and look at me?"

"Like this."

You lean your head on the pillar and stare at him with love in your eyes. He has to look away before he breaks down in tears. Though, if you look hard enough, you can see a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Stop looking at me."

"I can't help it. You have such beautiful eyes. I'm a sucker for blue eyes." This time, he can't stop the blush. "Do you want anything? To eat or read, maybe?" He stays silent. "I know what you like. I'll be right back."

Loki watches you walk off with a sigh. What is he going to do with you?

As Loki was wreaking havoc on Earth, other battles were happening all across the Nine Realms. He aided where he could and put order back into the Nine Realms faster than you've seen anyone do. He certainly got praise from his family which is why they wanted to have a big celebration for him. They kept putting off the big celebration due to what happened with Loki but they couldn't wait anymore.

If Asgard and the royal family know how to do anything right, it's how to throw a huge fucking party.

It didn't take them long to get everything set up since servants were pouring out their ears, apparently. You're not interested in partying with them if the one person you want to be there can't. You'd gladly take this celebration down to the dungeons and spend it with the one you love.

You reach the main hallway right next to the dungeon and see a bunch of servants with trays of food in their hands rushing down the hallway to the main banquet hall. Man, they don't waste any time. Asgardians are fast-moving people. They don't take time to slow down.

You walk into the banquet hall to see so many people already inside with plates of food and smiles on their faces. It pisses you off to see them so relaxed after putting one of their own in the dungeon. Not only one of them but one of the Princes. None of them are loyal to anyone but themselves and it shows.

You go to the table of food and grab two plates, one for you and one for Loki. Thor and Odin are off to the side talking near the table, and you transform your ear into that of a bat to eavesdrop on them. You shouldn't do that since it's an invasion of privacy but Odin has that look about it. Call it the protector in you. Thor might be stronger than you in some ways, but you'll still want to protect him in any way you can.

"Is Vanaheim secure?" Odin asks.

"As are Nornheim and Ria. Though our work would have gone more quickly with you at the fore."

"You must think I'm a piece of bread that needs to be buttered so heavily."

"That was not my intent," Thor chuckles.

"For the first time since the Bifrost was destroyed, the Nine Realms are at peace. They're well reminded of our strength, and you have earned their respect and my gratitude."

"Thank you."

You look at Thor to see him look around the room with distraction in his eyes. He's thinking of her.

"Nothing out of order except your confused and distracted heart."

"This isn't about Jane Foster, Father."

"Human lives are fleeting; they are nothing. You'd be better served by what lies in front of you." You follow Odin's gaze to Sif who is on the balcony. It hurts to hear him say humans mean nothing. There are humans ten times better than Odin will ever be. "I'm telling you this not as the all-father but as your father. You are ready. The time has come for you to take the throne. Embrace and celebrate what you've won. Join your warriors. Eat and drink. Revel in their celebration. At least pretend to enjoy yourself."

Odin leaves his son, and Thor thinks about his words. You finish gathering enough food for you and Loki before heading in the direction of the library. Thor sees you and perks up. He waves you down and joins your side.

"I hear congratulations are in order."

Thor sees your ear turn from a bat to your normal one. He isn't mad you eavesdropped. He's actually relieved to know someone understands his struggles with his father.

"Eavesdropping, are we?"

"I can't help it. I'm protective of my friends. I don't quite agree with Odin's parenting styles."

"I'd like to think of you more than a friend. You're my teammate. A trusted ally."

"Yeah, same to you, Thor. I have to go. Excuse me."

Thor sees two trays of food in your hands but before you can escape, he speaks.

"Do you really think Loki is the same man from when you knew him all those years ago?"

"I believe it to be."

"Only you would truly know," he nods. "Loki is confused and misguided. He has the potential to be good if only he were given an opportunity to do so."

"I'm giving it to him."

"Then I wish you luck."

Thor departs and heads over to Sif who smiles at his presence. She looks over at where he once was and locks eyes with you. She gives a small wave and you smile in return. You quickly make your way to the main door and quietly curse when Frigga steps out of the shadows to confront you.

"I know where you're going."

"Am I in trouble?"

She shakes her head with a smile. "You are good for him. He deserves someone like you."

"I wish he would see it that way," you sigh.

"He will, given time." She looks at your plate and reaches for something on the table near her. It's a small bowl of Asgardian fruit. She places it onto one of the plates. "It's Loki's favorite."

"Thank you," you smile.

x

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