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star-suh · 10 months

Text

Straight as A Line

Park Jinyoung x Male Reader

cw: homophobic top jinyoung, rough sex, dubious consent, hickeys, college au, swearing at each other, cheating, feminization, porn with a little of plot, a redemption arc for jinyoung lol…

an: lmfaoooo that redemption arc happened when my music suddenly changed to lana del rey's songs changing the whole mood, i'm so sorry if this isn't what you wanted anon 😭🙏

this was a request.

—

the university where y/n was studying was planning a trip to go camping in the mountains. it was a dream trip for y/n, he could be close to nature and breathe that pure fresh air but all that sounded too nice to be true.

"i don't know if i want to go on the trip, fuckass jinyoung is going and i don't feel like arguing with that son of a bitch" y/n tells his friend.

jinyoung is one of those rich guys who have a lot of ass-lickers behind them, they do whatever he asks just for the money, also the guy is a fucking homophobe, when he found out that y/n is gay he started to make his life miserable. throwing slurs and swearing almost everyday towards the guy…

every student had an assigned seat “are we in school or something?” mocked jinyoung, his smile slowly fading seeing that he has to sit besides y/n “what the fuck? who put this pillow muncher beside me?” he yelled, “can you just shut the fuck up? you're not that important dude no one cares where you sit stop being a manchild” responded y/n making jinyoung's blood boil in anger.

“listen here, cocksucker. i don't want people like you near me you disgust me” he spat while signaling towards y/n with one finger. “stop signaling me you weirdo. you know that usually men who make fun of someone who is gay do it to cover up their homosexuality .. like why are you mad about me sucking a dick that's not so straight from you, jinyoung..” a grimace of laughter finding its way onto y/n's face while jinyoung's was red for the anger, y/n swear he can see the steam coming out of his ears.

jinyoung quietly accepted he lost this time and sat beside y/n ‘this is not going to stay like this’ he thought, crafting his revenge towards the guy.

it was night already, all the tents are ready and everyone is going inside them, y/n was getting ready to sleep in his sleeping bag when suddenly the zipper of his tent opens “what the fu-” a big hand covering his mouth to prevent him from making any noises. “hello motherfucker” jinyoung smiled “you thought i forgot what you said on the bus dirty whore? i think someone should teach you manners and how to be a nice obedient bitch, what do you think?”.

managing to get away from the strong grip of jinyoung's hand on his mouth y/n says “what the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho, get out of my fucking tent before i start to scream”.

jinyoung's big veiny hand found its way towards y/n neck squeezing it hard “do it and what i'm gonna do next it's gonna be worse, you hear me?” scared by how menacing the words came out of his mouth y/n just nodded, “what do you want then, a public apology?. fucking asshole”.

“you see.. i was talking with my girlfriend and i got so horny-”, “and? do i look like some type of… friend to you? i don't wanna know shit about it” interrupted y/n. “anyways as i said” jinyoung continued “i'm so bricked that my dick is poking his way out of my shorts, so i was looking for a way to calm it but the rest of the bitches are sleeping and apparently you're the only one bitch awake so… i thought why not use this opportunity to help you be my obedient slut. after all you like cocks” he slapped gently y/n's cheeks. “fuck you” are the only words coming out of y/n's mouth…

“shh be quiet” whispered jinyoung while forcing his cock down y/n's throat, the gagging sounds making him more horny “you're so talented at cocksucking, truly a whore. you do it better than my girlfriend” he snickered while thrusting his thick cock.

“never thought i would see you this fucked up” jinyoung was stroking his cock while y/n was laying down panting, trying to catch his breath, with spit and cum covering his face “talking about dirty whores when you can't keep that thing inside your pants. coming here like a needy bitch looking for a hole to fuck”.

jinyoung just stared at y/n with a smirk on his face “i'm not done with you slut, look at this” he pokes his rock hard cock making it bounce a little “i'm gonna wreck your boypussy. come here” his hand snaking around y/n's shorts and discarding them quickly, along with the underwear. “leave me alone whore” y/n tried to push jinyoung with his feet but the bastard was so strong… and sexy.

jinyoung spat on his fingers and rub it on y/n's rim the cold fluid sending shivers up his spine “hngh.. stop it manwhore…” the pleasure clouding his thinking. jinyoung slap his fuckmeat on the rim and slowly introduce it, drawing a loud moan grom y/n due to the stretching “shush be quiet. you don't want someone to find us right? or is that what you want? woah what a pervert” y/n just ignored the comment and sucked on jinyoung's fingers.

“is that all you got, fragile masculinity slut?. not gonna be surprised if your girlfriend kicks you, you suck at fucki-” a slap landed on y/n's cheek. “stop being a loud motherfucker and let me fuck your pussy” his anger being canalized into fucking y/n “i don't give a fuck if you like it or not” he growls “i’m only here to use you like you let other men do”.

“fuck i love the sight of your gaping pussy. after being passed around the whole university is still so tight… even more than my girlfriend's”. “can you stop mentioning her you asshole?. she deserves a better man than you” y/n says, accommodating himself to ride jinyoung “let's get this over with, i want you gone”.

everytime he goes down y/n makes sure to do it hard causing jinyoung to moan very loudly, “look who's the loud bitch now. you call yourself a man and can't even handle me”. jinyoung laughed quickly grabbing y/n by his ankles pulling them towards him folding y/n in the process, his dick going in and out. y/n squirmed, his eyes rolled back and mouth agape, feeling that cock reaching so deep inside him, no other cock has made him feel like that.

“what happened pillow muncher.. too much to handle?” he starts sucking hickeys in the back of y/n's neck. “i'm gonna breed this pussy and after this you're gonna be mine you hear me?” he whispered while flipping y/n a fuck him while he leans on his back “no… i don't belong to.. to anyone not even to a loser like you” the older just ignored it and continued looking for his pleasure.

“guess you're not that straight macho after all” y/n murmured drawing jinyoung's attention, “just because i'm stretching your boypussy and about to cream it right now doesn't make me a homo… i'm straight as a line..”. y/n with his hooded eyes make eye contact with the top, smiled and caressed his cheek “even the straightest line can be curved dumbass” he then kisses his forehead “c'mon cream this fucking pussy… isn't this what you want hurry up before someone wakes up” fucking himself in jinyoung's dick y/n also searched for his pleasure his cock splurting with cum minutes later landing on jinyoung's chest and abs, while that happened he squeezed so hard that jinyoung came without realizing it, emptying his balls in the insatiable hole of y/n.

jinyoung tried to catch his breath resting his head on y/n's chest falling asleep, followed by y/n minutes later.

the ride back to university was surprisingly quiet, jinyoung didn't say a word about sitting next to y/n, everyone was surprised. one by one they got off the bus with jinyoung and y/n being the last, the tall one grabbed the shorter one by the hand so that he wouldn't come down yet. "i'm going to break up with my girlfriend... what i’m doing with her is not right." "wow, at least there's some empathy inside that empty skull" y/n responded. jinyoung just laughed looking at y/n with a fond smile "sigh... i'm so sorry for what i’ve put you through all these years... i know that's not going to change the damage i've already done but i want to start being a good person… wanna go eat lunch? it's on me".

surprised by the sudden change y/n wondered what happened with him last night “are you okay? did you eat something strange this morning?”. “no fucking asshole i just… i just wanted to change my behaviour… you know if the straightest line can be curved that means that we can change and it's never too late to do it” y/n just stared at him dumbfounded “are you being serious right now? are you philosophizing over a silly phrase i just made up…ugh fucking corny anyways is free food and i can't say no to that so text me where is it and see you there. i guess..” y/n was about to get off but turned around, stood up and pet jinyoung's head, a slight blush covering his cheeks. jinyoung just stood there watching y/n get off the bus with a smile slowly forming in his face.

#jinyoung x male reader #park jinyoung x male reader #jinyoung x male reader smut #park jinyoung x male reader smut #got7 x male reader #got7 jinyoung #male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop x male reader smut #smut #male reader smut

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canisalbus · 8 months

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why does Machete dislike confession duty?

I talked about it a bit earlier but for I'm just copying it all here to save you a click:

I'm under the impression that he'd hate doing confession duty and would probably avoid it whenever possible. He doesn't like being confined in a little box, away from the spaces he deems safe and familiar, with nothing productive to do but to sit and marinate in his thoughts. He doesn't like talking to strangers, especially one-to-one and about topics that are this delicate and personal, and he certainly doesn't like trying to come up with a fitting penance or words of sage advice. Even in the rare occasions when he gives it a honest try he feels like fish out of water. He'd be very formal and impersonal to deal with and penitents would probably find him mildly unnerving in his emotionlessness, but at least he'd be quick about it. He'd be even more tight-lipped if the topic of homosexuality came up, maybe he'd have some kind of tired pre-rehearsed set of lines prepared for those situations, nothing too condemning but also sufficiently in line with the church's standings. And then he'd go home feeling like the most spineless hypocrite.

He's much happier with his stacks of letters and treaties and formal meetings that don't go into personal details. Every now and then someone would confess him something actually grisly and upsetting and he'd feel physically dirty just from hearing it. And I can't imagine him being a very open and honest penitent himself either. He'd do it because you're supposed to but weasel his way out of revealing anyone anything actually significant.

#answered #anonymous #he'd want to LEAVE the whole time

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transform4u · 3 days

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I have this huge crush on this straight guy on my campus and he just invited me to hang out!! I'm so excited to spend time with him, he said he wanted to "snap" me but I have no idea what that means! It doesn't matter, I have such a huge crush on him, I'd do anything he asks just to be closer with him!

As you step over the threshold of the frat house, a wave of pungent odors hits you—stale beer, damp gym socks, and an overpowering cloud of Axe body spray. Your nose flares in response, the smell so intense that it almost feels like it’s rewiring your brain. There's a sudden, sharp snaaaaaaaaapppp in your head, like a mental jolt, and your memories start to dissolve. The boy you had a crush on, the Channing Tatum poster on your wall—these memories blur and fade away, replaced by a torrent of new sensations.

Your mind is hazy as you inhale deeply, your senses overwhelmed by the distinct essence of frat life. The memories that take their place are a montage of keg stands, raucous parties, and the roar of college football games. A strange pressure begins to build in your chest, radiating outward. You can feel your body transforming, your pecs swelling into thick, pillow-like mounds. Your abs, once soft and undefined, solidify into a set of firm, sculpted muscles. Ballooning biceps and triceps inflate beneath your skin, while your quads and bubble butt expand, shaping your physique into that of a stereotypical frat bro.

A dull ache lingers in your head, a reminder of the cognitive changes happening within you. As your more nuanced, empathetic thoughts begin to dissolve, so do your skills in writing and math. The once-clear, intellectual part of your mind feels foggy and distant. A thick, dumb chuckle bubbles up from your throat, your laugh coming out as a guffaw that’s tinged with a thick southern drawl as thick stench radiates from your body, you let out an obnoxiously loud farrrrrrrpppphhhhttt.

You find yourself sinking onto a ratty couch, surrounded by the clutter and chaos of frat life. Your bro, with a grin as wide as his shoulders hands you a cold can of beer. You take it in your hands, feeling the chill through the metal, your grip now a part of your newly muscular frame. You stare blankly at him, your expression slack but content, and your mind is a whirlwind of simple pleasures and throbbing bass from the party tunes. Your chuckle deepens into a full-bore laugh, and you accept your new reality with a sense of easygoing acceptance. Your bro calls out cheerfully, "Yo Zack, come check what the boys and I got for you, bro" Curious, you follow his gaze to see your bros holding court with a shy-looking freshman girl. She's dressed skimpier than most of the party girls, with a barely-there crop top revealing her midriff and a scandalously short pleated skirt. Her clothes look expensive and well-tailored, hinting at money beyond the means of most frat rats.

Your bro chuckles and slaps your back. "See? She's just waitin' for a strapping jock like yourself to sweep her off her feet," he says, egging you on. You feel an undeniable twitch in your boxers, your cock stiffening as your bros taunts you. Those sick, perverted images in your head of dumb faggots making out start melting away, replaced by an overwhelming lust for red-blooded American women. Gals like this sorority chick, with no IQ, just tits and tight pussies. Suddenly, every dirty fantasy, every vile urge, feels justified. Every nasty gay thought you were having about your bro gets purged from your drunk brain. Homosexuality is the furthest thing from your horny mind these days. All you care about is getting your cock wet with the hottest college chicks you can find, preferably ones who are only too eager to please an upperclassman like you. You want to see that little skank bounced on your lap while frat brothers cheer you on as you pound her into submission.

But then he looks over at you knowingly and smirks, clearly enjoying the look on your face. You should be outraged at his scheming, but instead a rush of blood goes to your groin. The slutty little number in front of you looks even more delectable up close. Those big tits in that tiny top beg for attention. That tight little skirt hugs her hips just right.

Your frat bro grins devilishly. "I'll leave the two of you alone and let you get acquainted properly. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He winks salaciously before sauntering off with his entourage. Your jaw clenches as you watch him walk away, feeling both irritated and aroused by his actions. But the anger doesn't last long before desire overtakes it.

She looks up at you innocently, blue eyes sparkling with mischief behind her thick glasses frames. "Hello Zack," she says demurely, standing awkwardly next to the armchair you're occupying. "I'm Amy."

"Amy" you repeat, reaching out to gently take her hand in yours. Her skin is soft and feverishly warm. "It's a pleasure to meet you…"

You take Amy by the hand and lead her over to the couch across from you. She plops down and crosses her legs primly, arms folded over her chest to emphasize her budding breasts. You can't help staring at them, imagining squeezing and kneading those ripe young mounds.

You can practically smell her arousal from here as she squirms in discomfort beneath your penetrating gaze and crude innuendo-laced comments. The look in her eyes says 'Please stop talking', but the tent in your jeans says 'Fuck yes I will keep talking'.

To make matters worse, the other frat boys seem to have taken your lead now too. A few stand up to make room near the bar while others hover around to listen in for any juicy details of Amy's sexual misadventures with you. Some even have the balls to openly leer at her chest and ass. You lick your lips as a cruel smirk spreads across your face. These losers have no idea what they're missing out on.

#gay to straight #male tf #transformation #dumber #ask #nerd to jock tf #short snap #short tf

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randomfoggytiger · 1 month

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React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Founder's Mutation), Part II

This is gonna be quick and dirty because my keyboard’s acting up--

IT’S A CONTINUATION FROM MY STRUGGLE I?????????? NO WHY NO, PLEASE NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

WHY do those glasses not fit anymore?? If Mulder lifts his eyebrows, they don’t even touch his cheekbones. But they were fine last episode, what happened.

Mulder reminding us about William in yet another opening monologue. I may have the memory of a goldfish, Mulder, but I don’t have brain damage.

I’m already so tired.

Narration, narration, sudden voice change and drop, “Bringing Scully and I back together”-- okay, that’s straight-up David's voice.

Oh, good. A bloody eyeball. How marvelous.

If this is the brain Morse Code episode, I will throw hands.

I’m Dr. Sanjay. We’re both too tired.

WHAT’S WITH THE SHAKY CAM AS DR. SANJAY DETERIORATES.

I’m not gonna be nit-picky… okay, I am.

The X-Files has a certain style, aesthetically. Because of that, one has to operate inside the rules in order to cleverly bend them. Shaky cam AND close-up break two rules back-to-back.

This "modernization" isn’t a limbered stretch so much as a spinal dislocation.

Ghost in the Machine and Blood 2.0, I see. But worse.

The “Sanjay losing control” scene is… not too different from similar 90s ones.

But that’s the problem-- the visuals have updated, but not the method. And that leaves us with the impression that the director or screenwriter or both are either amateur or outdated.

It’s also incredibly cluttered and confusing. Not confusing in a way that would expertly translate the meltdown in Sanjay’s brain, but confusing in a way that bombards us, the audience, with compounding “lost in translation” errors.

Okay, welp, he’s dead.

WHY do Mulder and Scully sound so old? Was it absolutely necessary to suck the life force out of the actors every time they walked on set? For Pete’s sake, I’ve heard more life in David’s voice while reading a Lexus ad.

Okay, DD’s picking up a bit, and GA’s compensating with her expressions but none of this is engaging.

Minor nitpick-- and I know both actors complained about wardrobe later-- but the second Mulder gets pants that fit him and Scully remembers to finish buttoning up her top, the sooner I’ll get a glimpse of the old show. Just sayin’.

His pants will eventually swing to the opposite tragedy, copping a feel while forcing him to do a little Marilyn Monroe shimmy.

I shall call them Patriarchy Pants.

Scully knows Indian?

She really is the series’ language OC, isn’t she.

Mulder got this informant to trust him by flashing his puppy eyes. I mean… it’s always worked on Scully.

Speaking of which… where’s Scully?

I’m wracking my brain, but I thiiiiiiiiiiink it’s consistent, even pre-S9 canon, for Mulder to sneak off and fill Scully in later. So, no complaints. I think.

What is it about the comedy scene that didn’t work…?

Hm.

‘Kay, so, if this guy (Gupta, looked it up) is no longer a repressed homosexual-- like he chastises Mulder for being-- then why was he so skittish in the bar?

He didn’t know Sanjay was dead, so therefore he didn’t know he was in danger (note from the future: he isn't in danger... which explains his skittishness even less.)

So, is his jumpiness because of repressed or hidden homosexuality? But he says he's out and urges Mulder to come out, as well.

Perhaps he's saying one thing and living another, i.e. pretending to be out and proud to save face in front of Mulder.

But then... that would be the comedy in this scene-- that he would have to eat his words (ex. another guy opens the door on them and Gupta makes a big fuss trying to cover up the homosexuality of it all-- “no homo” dialed up to 11, etc.)

So, he was either scared to be on a hit list-- yet wasn’t aware he might be on one-- or scared of being outed-- yet didn't signal this in his actions or dialogue.

If this is Gupta’s only scene, it was a waste.

It was a waste of an introduction, regardless. But.

Oh, Scully’s doing an autopsy, got it.

Characters are playing by their strengths, got it.

Also, forgot to note, Mulder sensing the guys in the bar were bad news points to his years spent on the job. A great touch.

…Unless, now that I think of it, Gupta invited him to a gay or hookup bar, consequently making Mulder look like an out-of-touch old buffoon. Which… fits his characterization in My Struggle I, but I hope for better things.

I didn’t see any tension in Scully’s arms while pulling the instrument out of Sanjay’s ear, but, ya know, there weren’t perfect moments in OG canon, either.

Gupta’s still here, okay. (DD getting away with a bit of humor by having Mulder act slightly out-of-place chuggin down in a bar-- I see you.)

IT IS A GAY BAR.

MULDER’S AN IDIOT, CONFIRMED.

“He lived two lives.” Okay, that’s f-- “In two separate places.” NO, no, nonono-- get back over the unsubtle line before I whip out the broom, shooshooshooshooshoo.

Wait, why is Mulder explaining the autopsy results instead of Scully?

Even when he had a… siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Even when Mulder had a brewing theory in mind, he always let Scully explain all her results before asking pointed questions, hearing her findings, then craft a theory and run it by her.

Here, Scully says, “Broke fingers to find words on palm/instrument went into these parts of the brain” and Mulder says “It went in at that angle then turned at this angle/insert theory.”

When it SHOULD be: Scully explains fingers and cause of death, Mulder points at the pics and asks why the instrument’s angle changed, Scully says “it went in 90 degree angle then turned 60 degrees”, and Mulder concludes “Like he was hunting for something.”

The shots widen out or cut back for shock value, it seems. Sanjay’s body is shown obliquely until Scully says she “looked everywhere” for clues, which prompts the camera to cut to a wide shot and hang on his sawed-open skull. The timing’s oddly comedic, the music is light, and nothing about the scene meshes. It quickly pancakes, leaving us and the characters with dead (heh) air.

The dialogue leans “we’re gonna do this next” telling rather than natural conversation showing.

And-- I’ve gotta be frank-- I’ve not caught an ounce of chemistry from DD and GA aside from the scene where they were talk about phone stealing and Indian languages.

The car scene contributed nothing... except a kid accidentally fell over the hood. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal covert set-up, I tell ya.

Sanjay’s other apartment scene was… weird. They walk around, find pictures of experiments on kids, barely react, trip the silent alarm so the police show up--

Sorry, no, wait. The police show up ASAP, in THIS part of town? NAH. Not happening.

Okay, the scene where Mulder has a… brain… thingy WORKS because it uses just the right amount of “new trick”: closeups without disorienting lens action slapped on top. THAT’s how you integrate a modernized technique into an older show; and it fits seamlessly into The X-Files.

SO WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS FROM THE GET-GO?

Also, Scully may have had cancer, but she never had migraines. Those seem to be reserved for Mulder.

Oh, we’re in Skinner’s office now. I guess.

The clips are so poorly paced, switching or holding or integrating at the weirdest times. It even undercuts Mulder’s quips or Scully’s reactions.

On a side note, DD and GA probably had a hard time finding their characters-- as they mentioned for both IWTB and the Revival-- because all they had to work off of was plot regurgitation. ....What do you do with that?

I love the touch of Skinner playing hardball until Corporate Interest Guy leaves, then immediately switching to, “I assume you’re going to need [classified] copies, right?”

…

…..

…….

Scully really doesn’t have much to add, does she?

OH, we’re in the basement now. We're just... here. The first scene of these two back down here and they're just. Here. ...'Kay.

Mulder and Scully talking over his experience is the closest I’ve gotten to mature MSR… and it’s ruined by Scully stating the obvious, “There were no sounds. I didn’t hear anything.”

LOOK, OKAY? Mulder became CATATONIC before with these exact same symptoms and was only saved by a secret science mumbo jumbo brain surgery, WHY ISN’T SHE WORRIED. It’s equivalent to her getting a nosebleed and just wiping it away, no big deal.

“Mulder, what are you hiding?”

He’s not hiding anything, Scully, he’s telling you.

But if he were, that’d be outta character even for Beanpole Sneakybritches. By this point, he’d have a functioning theory to share with the class-- which he did, lest we forget-- or developed a taste for Hercule Poirot drama while holed up in depressed isolation, I guess. (Which you left him to, Scully, so this is your fault, tangentially.)

Which would be stupid.

(Note from the future: He was hiding something, but it didn't make sense how he leaped to that conclusion, anyway; so, logically, he has nothing to hide from her in this scene.)

But when's that stopped the show before?

“What are you hiding?”

“Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.”

WHAT.

Scully and Mulder established in the lab that Sanjay heard noises right before he died.

Mulder heard noises.

Tells Scully in the basement.

Scully: “I didn’t hear noises.” No reaction.

Scully: “What are you hiding?”

Mulder explains his frequency theory.

Scully doesn’t see how it fits.

Mulder: “What are you hiding?”

Scully: “Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.” No reaction.

PLEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE END MY SUFFERING.

16 min. in.

Been typing nearly an hour (a dying keyboard’ll do it to ya.)

“This is dangerous,” Scully says, flatly.

“When has that ever stopped us?” Mulder asks, brightly.

He is quite literally trying to pump life back into her-- WHO directed GA this way? You can tell which scenes she is given freer reign in (more natural, less muted) and which ones she is more tightly “guided” (less alive, more dead.)

How is she spry enough to be a field agent? How is Mulder? Skinner hasn’t aged a day but these two have been MOWED. DOWN. DD and GA aren’t like this in real life, so what gives?

Our Lady of Sorrows, go away.

It’s Karen Kosseff except it isn’t.

Mulder and Scully sneakily scare the daylights outta a Conservative-adjacent medical personnel with the dreaded threat of an “Obamacare” witchhunt... and at this point, the social commentary seems performative rather than intelligent.

I’m not gonna break it down by politics; but suffice to say, while Mulder and Scully were never above a little “campaign of misinformation”, but they've never stooped low enough to fearmonger-- in fact, they looked down on those who did.

CC-- he wrote this episode, too, right?-- turned them from FBI agents with ethics into Secret Agents with a dose of Krycekian immorality.

Just when I think I’ve “found” MSR, the writing snatches them back from me.

…And ANOTHER THING.

Ever since IWTB, Our Lady of Sorrows has been an awful, horrible, no-good, close-minded facility stuffed to the brim with egos and bottom-of-the-barrel intelligence. At least they’ve been upgraded from “let the kid die” psychopaths to “OBAMACARE?? INVESTIGATING OUR SAINTED, CONSERVATIVE COLLEAGUE????” Which makes them stupidly impressionable and stupendously ignorant of the law. Which they would know… because it affects their hospital.

There’s no hint (thus far) that Scully has some dirt on them and maneuvers them into compliance by hinting at certain shortcuts they wouldn’t want investigated. No. Instead, she weaponizes their faith-- calling the guy they want to interview a “godsend”-- despite sharing it, and despite taking all matters of belief very seriously; then lets Mulder slip in the Obamacare line because… Conservative medical professionals would cow in the face of that implication instead of, I don’t know, stonewalling to protect their ranks?

It’s such a silly, nonsensical line.

I just want old Mulder and Scully back, is that too much to ask for?

And the lady almost stonewalled, anyway. It was pure luck that Scully pulled the right emotional strings.

UGH.

“I’ll agree to relay a message,” Not-Karen says… then walks off before asking what that message would be. …Sure, fine, that makes sense.

Pregnant teen or young woman and….

And….

WHAT, IS THIS A CONTINUED PLOT POINT???????????

ANOTHER PREGNANCY PLOTLINE?????????? DO THE POWERS-THAT-BE NO LONGER HAVE ACCESS TO TUBES OR JARS OR WHATHAVEYOU TO GROW THEIR EXPERIMENTS, OR DID THEY ALL COPYPASTE THE EVES' AND DR. PARENTI’S VERY SPECIFIC NICHE?????

Hate the camera angles, too, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Used and abused women, dismissed young mothers, callous Catholic hospitals…. It’s so… vitriolic. And all so poorly handled.

“Desire is the devil’s pitchfork,” oh, great, the Catholic nun? lady is eeeeeeeeeeevil, who would have knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown--

WHY. DOES. MULDER. SOUND. SO. OLD.

No wonder DD and GA think the series isn’t really about happy endings, they were shuffling around like geriatric Eeyores half the time.

Scully pushing back against Mulder protecting her from the incubation theory right after he tells her the incubation theory: in a word, disjointed. She needed to confront him BEFORE he spells it out to her--

…My brain melted and I lost the thought…. Wait…. Nope, it’s gone.

“Is this what you believe happened to me, fifteen years ago? When I got pregnant, when I had my baby?” WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT.

“Mybaby”??????????? After all this time, MY BABY.

WHY ISN’T GA ACTING APPROPRIATELY, SHE’S GIVING US NOTHING DESPITE BEING THE SOLE EMOTIVE PERSON ON THIS TEAM.

IF THAT LINE IS MEANT TO IMPLY SHE’S CREATING DISTANCE WITH “MY BABY” BECAUSE SHE THINKS MULDER IS DISOWNING WILLIAM, YOU’VE NOT ESTABLISHED, AT ALL, THAT RETICENCE IS PART OF HER SELF-PRESERVATION-- NOT ONE TIME, SINCE THE REVIVAL STARTED.

AND IF THAT WERE THE CASE, SCULLY WOULD HAVE ACCUSED HIM DIFFERENTLY: NOT FLAT AND TIRED, BUT FLAT AND ANGRY. WHERE’S SCULLY’S ANGER THAT SHE’S HAD FROM DAY ONE, THAT SHE LOST RIGHT AFTER EXISTENCE SAID HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER????????

GIVE ME GUMPTION, GIVE ME SPIT, GIVE ME FIRE, GIVE ME RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!!!!

SO THEY ABANDONED THE INCUBATOR TALK TO TALK ABOUT HER REGRETS, I GUESS.

THERE WAS NO POINT A TO POINT B, WE’RE JUST HERE NOW.

I don’t mind the rehash-- Mulder and Scully both had a habit of doing that, back in the day… but I’m not getting any of MULDER or SCULLY from these two… Revival robots.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, this is the “what could have been” episode. Thanks, I’m gonna hate it.

“Do you think he could have been an experiment?”

“I don’t know,” GET OUTTA HERE, ACTUALLY GET OUTTA HERE.

MULDER’S WHOLE ARC IN ESSENCE-EXISTENCE WAS THAT HE KNEW THE MATH ADDED UP TO BEING WILLIAM’S FATHER (though the writers did their best to obfuscate that issue) BUT WAS AFRAID SCULLY’S BABY WOULD BE BORN WITH SURPRISES. INSTEAD, HE WAS A NORMAL, HEALTHY BABY; AND MULDER CALLED HIS SON A MIRACLE BECAUSE OF IT.

BEFORE SEASON 9 RETCONNED IT, ANYWAY. BUT EVEN THEN, WILLIAM WAS UNDENIABLY HIS MINI MULDER.

Even in IWTB, how many years later, Mulder still considered William theirs.

Also, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.

Pause.

Rewind.

Stop.

Mulder misses William but had to put that “behind him.”

That. has got to be. The most. antithetical statement to Mulder’s character that I have ever. Ever. heard.

You can’t have it both ways, CC: Mulder can’t be pushed by the ghosts of his past into wrecking his and Scully’s relationship, twice (IWTB and the Revival), while also putting HIS CHILD behind him.

nnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOnonononononNONONONONONONO.

THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

YOU’RE A LIAR, A LYING LIAR LIAR FACE.

THAT’S NOT MULDER.

MULDER WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

SCULLY MIGHT, BUT EVEN THEN SHE’D STILL BE LYING TO HERSELF.

Scully was shattered into a million pieces in My Struggle I, and Mulder is obliterated in this one.

How.

Absolutely.

Lovely.

Also, again, Scully isn’t emoting fear or terror for her son. At all.

NORMAL SCULLY VOICE??????????????????????????????????

NORMAL. SCULLY. VOICE????????????????????????????????????????

WHAT.

I’M, I’M, WHAT.

FOR THE FLASHBACKS, BUT NOT FOR THE SERIES????????????????????????

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The cutback from the flashback-dreamsequence-whatever to Scully just… sitting there. Not napping. Not dreaming, just. Thinking, I guess.

But the sequence was obviously a dream, so.

Can you imagine if she snapped upright from her dream, possibly at her desk? The gifs sets that could have been made mirroring this moment to Mulder’s nightmare in Paper Hearts.

THERE’S THE SAME “OPEN THE DESK DRAWER TO SEE A PHOTO” MOTIF, TOO.

...WHY IS THAT ASSISTANT WALKING LIKE SHE'S ON A CATWALK?

That actress said, “This is my big shot, I’m gonna stick out” (literally), and dressed to kill.

…Or she’s a piece of commentary on the Evil Scientist Doctor and the male gaze, or something.

Guys, no facility would have kids kept behind glass cages for their entire lifespan.

That’s dumb.

Scully tells the scientist he’s testing (trying to isolate) for alien DNA. He shows them out.

Agnes (the teen or young mother) got killed and her baby taken, of course.

At least Scully’s no longer pretending medical people aren’t stealing babies or creating mutants, I guess.

I GUESS.

Mulder had to wiggle his way over to the printer because his Patriarchy Pants (first sighting!) are too tight. (Told you his fashion swings in the opposite direction.)

Mulder said, “This is my skinny jean era”, and I think I’m traumatized.

Syndicate wanted to colonize the world with alien-human hybrids, says Mulder. And though it was unsuccessful--

(HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT)

--he doubts they stopped trying.

So, that sweeps away the Supersoldiers, I guess.

Since, y’know, the Revival said the aliens were never involved to begin with.

So it was just the government making a hoax of the government hiding aliens but pretending they weren’t but really were but weren’t.

Got it.

What did Scully’s study about all European men being traced back to three individuals in the Bronze age (that’s a reference to Shem, Ham, and Japheth, isn’t it CC?) have to do with Mulder’s point other than for her to talk about her study.

An illustrative hypothetical:

Mulder: “Everyone loves juice.”

Scully: “I read a paper last year that found the three most favored juice flavors tie back to the Whirligig tastebud genome.”

…’Kay.

I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT, LET IT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND.

Jackie (Evil Scientist Man's “insane” wife) doesn’t like cats and threw an apple at it. …Why’s there a loose cat in the “mental asylum”?

They put in the spooky track from the original show-- the tinkling symbol sound-- when she recounted her daughter breathing underwater, but I liked that bit.

Good filming, good bit.

Jackie was being used for experiments, crashed her car, was forced via the brain thingy to cut her child out, the end.

…Oh, right, this plot was supposed to be about Sanjay.

My bad.

You forgot, too, didn’t you.

…Why doesn’t Jackie like cats again?

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son? (or her daughter?) already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? (She still doesn't know this and wishes she could see him again...????????????????????????????????????????)

This is such a BAD. SCRIPT.

It has no direction, it swings wildly from topic to topic, nothing really connects together, it’s all… nonsensical garbage.

Mulder gets closeted at a gay bar, the Catholic lady hates men and thinks unwed mothers are damaged, women are made to cut babies out of their stomachs, Mulder put William behind him, Scully has a waking dream instead of a sleeping one, aaaaaaaaaaaaand… Jackie hates cats.

No, you will not get a logical explanation for any of this.

Awwww, look, Jackie’s talking about her missing boy because she thinks about him “every day” but hasn’t seen him since and so does Scully, of course, and Mulder can sense that so he, looks, too, and this case will make him cling to William’s memory again and--

One word. Riverdale.

“All my training-- everything that I know about psychology--” WHAT. Scully, you’re a medical doctor, not a psychologist. Definitely not a psychiatrist.

So Mulder can read x-rays with medical accuracy, and Scully can read Indian and diagnose someone’s psychological state.

Great.

Just peachy.

By the way, if you’re wondering why Mulder keeps getting bumped into or keeps peripherally noticing janitorial staff at each location, here’s your payoff (NO, IT WASN’T HAMFISTED, YOU JUST DIDN’T NOTICE THAT THIS WAS A PLOT POINT AT ALL, IT'S SO CLEVER):

The janitors work for a larger company that also services the hospitals. And Sanjay’s company.

….Eh? Eh? Clever isn’t it??

NOITISN’T.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so the kids are dying and inadvertently killing… off… their… parent? Or something? Or the reverse?

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son?-- or her daughter?-- already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? And she still doesn't know this, hoping to see him again someday...????????????????????????????????????????

THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY THE TEEN/YOUNG WOMAN WAS ALSO FORCED TO CUT HER BABY OUT AFTER BEING HIT BY A CAR, per the baby's instructions. Because that's what the episode says happens.

DO THESE ALIEN BABIES HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER OR WHAT????)

Guys, this is dumb.

Mulder’s stupid sunglasses.

But he looks goofy overall, so I’ll CHOOSE to be endeared rather than angry or petulant.

(IchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethis--)

Wait, why does Mulder keep getting affected by the brain thing?

More importantly.

The episode is setting up a few, blatant parallels:

These parents are having brain problems.

Their kids are experimentation kids.

William's probably an experimentation kid.

Which is stupid, but would then prove Mulder is the biological father.

They will sacrifice this parallel to the plot but also because Scully, not Mulder, ends up being the one to communicate constantly with William.

Which would prove William-Jackson is still Scully's biologically.

(Note from the future: This complete theory is debunked in about two seconds; but will be recycled later for Scully's Morse Code seizure. Wonderful.)

It’s all.

So.

Stupid.

Stupid sunglasses.

I…

I died laughing.

Guys.

I’m gonna include a clip because it’s so goofy.

Context: Mulder’s brain thingy is acting up, so Scully has to run around to find a kid-- Kyle-- so he’ll… help? her partner. Hence, we have Gillian trying to keep up her Revival smoker voice whilst running off and shouting, “KYyyYYyyyyYYLLllelleleee”:

This is The X-Files.

Weep and gnash your teeth in torment.

This is old.

Sorry, Mulder’s ears should be busted by now. Gimme fic where he now has to use hearing aids.

They grabbed Kyle and stuffed him in the car.

Ahh, this is the scene where Mulder looks back at Kyle and someone mentioned it looks like Mulder looking back at William in another, better universe (post here.)

Okay, so, this kid doesn’t mean to hurt people by communicating with his mind, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut was or wasn’t responsible for Sanjay’s death (who was helping him.)

Scully decides “LET’S PRETEND TO HAND HIM OVER TO HIS EVIL SCIENTIST DAD IN ORDER TO FIND HIS SISTER” and that sound and reasonable. As reasonable as a starving pig at a pie fair.

Wait.

The kid was a janitor.

Sanjay was helping him.

Sanjay was working for Evil Scientist dude.

Sanjay was trying to figure out where the kid's sister was, or he knew where she was but wasn't telling the kid?

The kid-- Kyle-- accidentally killed Sanjay because his... powers were outta control?

And... the kid can connect with different people's minds and that's how he hacked Mulder's brain (which retracts my biological theory... until, again, Scully's Morse Code seizure reinforces it.)

But the kid attacked Mulder when Mulder and Scully questioned his mom... didn't he already know who Mulder was?

And the kid kept pressuring Sanjay to find his sister, so much so that Sanjay hadn't been able to sleep well or function in weeks?

So, this kid's... questionable, at best.

Evil Scientist, M.D., pretended to introduce the kid to his sister, but Kyle wasn't BAMBOOZLED nor FOOLED.

Oh, btw, this kid is Jackie’s son. Looks an awful lot like William-Jackson... but anyway. (Jackson's storyline is brazenly ripped off from CC's own material, wow-- right down to the "never saw my son again" line. The writers have charming things to say about adopted families in The X-Files.)

Now he’s running around the hospital looking for Molly (the sister who scared Jackie because she can breathe underwater, etc. etc.)

Reunited with Molly.

Now the kids are throwing the adults with their minds and killing Evil Scientist Badman with the brain thing in order to stay reunited, I guess. Like the Eves. (Another rip-off recycle of their own source material.)

SO, anyway, the Evil Scientist Father died a very gruesome death.

Cut to the place swarmed with FBI.

Another guy said, “Skinner, keep your sfjfkfsdfksj behind the red tape.” I think. Can’t understand him.

Guys, this is the first Mulder-and-Scully posturing I’ve seen since the series began. Praise be, they’re not mannequins.

Here's the Mulder and William "could have been"s.

See, guys? His faith is back. He’s choosing to remember his son and reengage with his past~.

Yeah, and where did THAT come from.

To recap:

Mulder had depression sometime after 2012, so bad that it made Scully… leave, I guess (which would have been a death sentence for someone with a temperament like Mulder’s.)

But he shouldn't have had depression after 2012 because 2012 just reset the Colonization clock (according to he, himself, and his theory.)

So, he’s got "no reason" depression, then disconnects from Conspiracies and shoves away memories of William.

But he hadn’t had a breakdown or disconnect from reality before My Struggle I (which made Scully’s decision to leave even stupider.)

And Scully worries he’ll have a breakdown in My Struggle I.

And he actually didn’t leave Conspiracyville despite also leaving it and knowing things he shouldn’t and not knowing things he should.

Following?

Conspiracy guy calls up Skinner who calls up Scully who calls up Mulder; and he and she don't hesitate to investigate despite putting “that life” behind them.

There were no aliens, period, only men in government wearing suits or planting false memories or whathaveyou.

He’s still got depression but doesn’t, actually, in My Struggle I despite Scully thinking he does and worrying he’ll have a breakdown despite knowing he left Conspiracyville but not coming home, etc. etc.

Both are let into the FBI.

Still following?

He put William behind him but engages in conspiracies now (despite still engaging in them while not engaging in them-- you get it.)

Let me reiterate: Mulder. put someone that he loved. behind him.

Mulder makes peace with the thought that William’s his son regardless and daydreams about movies and rocketships.

And that’s that on all his hangups, I guess. His crops are watered and his depression is cured.

And now he and Scully are installed at the FBI... despite the unlikelihood either of them would pass the physical tests, let alone the training they'd need to requalify. To put them on the field otherwise would be very, very dangerous... right, Skinner?

The End.

Just make this easier for me next time and beat a bat over my head.

I do have another nitpick.

Mulder is too downcast in his “happier times” flashbacks, especially compared to Scully’s buoyant, sweet, upbeat persona. So, basically, he has a stunning lack of imagination, I guess.

Which, jokes aside, is an interesting thought: Mulder creating realities in his mind so convincingly mapped onto his current one that it’s even more devastating to snap out of them and face each and every unsatisfying day.

Also, both he and Scully have the same sort of nightmare....

This had BETTER be Jackson’s way of reaching out to them for help, or so help me I’m going to label these moments as narrative clickbait.

EYYYYYY, we got an actual Mulder “NO!” It sounded like him, too! FINALLY! SPIRIT! SPUNK! THE MULDER ESSENCE.

Oh, yeah, that William can get yeeted-- he doesn’t fit my headcanon, anyway.

Mulder's sitting upright, too, without having woken from a nightmare.

…So this was a deliberate choice on the filmmakers’ part.

So this is setting up for something. Like William communicating to them BOTH in waking dreams.

We all know that won’t happen, but, anyway.

CONCLUSION

YOU’RE NOT GETTING ME WITH THE HAPPY FAMILY TIMES, YOU MANIPULATORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

YOU CAN’T TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.

Also: very rarely do I like movie kitchens, but Mulder's... it's alright.

Lastly: again, I am so tired.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #React #mine #A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try #Part II #S10 #Founder's Mutation #Revival Reviler's first-time watch through #Revival #x-files #the x files #xfiles #Mulder #Scully #William #first-time watch through #thoughts #xf meta #uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

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part-time-zombie · 24 days

Text

Ok I've either reached some sort of analytical epiphany here, or I fully fried my brain and I'm no longer making sense. Either way...

seven sides = seven deadly sins.

Roman = Pride.

Easy enough, he represents the ego and pride in a most literal sense (along with passion and creativity). A wound to his ego creates literal pain, and his reputation/role as a heroic prince means everything to him since his very existence is tied to being the "good" part of imagination.

Remus = Lust.

Another easy one, but I think it's more than just the dirty jokes here. It had been suggested before that since Remus represents all forbidden/unwanted thoughts that c!thomas rejected/repressed because he thought they were bad, there likely may have been a point where he was also his closeted homosexuality in the past.

Virgil = Sloth.

Procrastination is a common practice from Virgil, one he either unintentionally prompts or openly promotes. Anytime something stressful or challenging occurs, Virgil always seems to suggest inactivity and avoidance as the solution, preferring to hide from the issue altogether instead of making any effort into fixing it.

Orange = Wrath (?)

Not much is really known here, but from what we've seen so far it's fair to assume that anger is a driving force if not a direct role for the orange side, though future videos may provide more insight.

Janus = Greed.

Greed is a desire to collect and hoard material wealth/resources, with no intention of sharing or using it. It is innately selfish (and not always in a good way) and the way I feel this translates to Janus is by him wanting c!thomas to prioritize himself above all else, even if it involves letting others down. He wants Thomas to seek out the things he wants in life (like the callback) and to take it without feeling bad about choosing his own happiness. This isn't just for goals/achievements, though, he also wants thomas to save his free time/availability for himself without giving it out carelessly. It's as he said: "it's your time and you do what you want with it". He wants Thomas to remove the blindfold and take what he wants while he still can, before the opportunity is lost again.

Patton = Envy.

This one was a little tough, but I think I made it make sense (at least to me). Patton is Thomas' morality, something instilled in him by observing and imitating those around him. As such, Patton's ideals largely come from him comparing himself and Thomas to others. Sure, Thomas is good, but is he as good as someone else? Can be be better? Can he be perfect, and what counts as perfect to begin with? Patton is constantly looking to outside influences to determine what standards to set, which is why Janus managed to help get through to him when he needed guidance in pof. In a way, Patton is envious of others for them seemingly having gotten it all figured out and being effortlessly good (which is obviously ridiculous, but Patton may have had issues with realizing that).

Logan = Gluttony.

In all seriousness, though, this is about more than just crofters. Gluttony is an obsessive overindulgence of material pleasures and consuming more than is healthy. It differs from greed in that greed focuses on amassing wealth and holding onto it, while gluttony uses up everything it can as quickly as possible. How does that relate to Logan? Well, instead of simply associating this with jam or wine, I like to think he is gluttonous of c!thomas' time. He says he experiences a "titillating, tingling sensation whenever deadlines are met" and regularly tried to direct as much of the focus onto himself and his plans as possible, and becomes frustrated without having surplus time to work. It's not like that time is wasted, though. He does quite the opposite by trying to prioritize all of the time to what he wants, even when it's at a detriment to the others/thomas. He allotted only 0.5% of the day to hopes and dreams, insisting the rest of the day be spent as he pleases. Why? Because being prioritized means he's important and respected, which for him is like the best feeling in the world. And going by how eagerly he devours crofters or chugs wine, it's clear that anything he finds enjoyable will be immediately consumed.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #analysis #does this make sense #am i onto something?#or am i overthinking it #this wouldn't leave my head #what do you think?#sanders sides theory

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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 29 days

Note

can you pretty please do more maggie greene🙏 literally anything. i am STARVING!!! FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!!!!! ROLLING AROUND IN THE STREET LIKE A RACCOON WITH RABIES!!!!!

༉‧₊˚. 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐞

— pairing: maggie greene x fem!plus size reader

— era: modern au/small southern town au

— summary: you were a normal church going girl: you graduated high school with good grades, read the bible and prayed, but that was all shattered by the time you met the brunette enigma by the name of maggie greene.

— warnings: depictions of toxic religious practices, toxic religious small towns, homophobia, internalized homophobia, the reader is lesbian coded but can be read by any wlw :], porn with feelings, sex in a hayloft, kissing, a crazy amount of dirty talk, dirty talk, vaginal fingering, teasing, maggie is a tease, bisexual maggie greene, homosexual sex.

— wc: 3384

⋆ a/n: WOW, so welcome to the 3k religious small-town au of maggie that no one asked for!!! this is deeply inspired by 'once more to see you' by mitski, and honestly i've been stewing on this idea for a while before i actually got the nerve to upload it. in no way am i slandering religious/religions of any kind, and honestly i didn't even give the reader and maggie a specific religion, everything is just kind of vague for imagination purposes.

masterlist | AO3

A small southern town, a church, a pretty girl, and a predestined bad ending.

You often recall the beginning of the rest of your life. The young woman you had a crush on was peering over at you from the pew next to yours, a playful grin threatening to take over her face when it looked like she had finally gotten your attention.

You remember your face heating, a faint blush spreading from your ears to your cheeks as you quickly looked away. Your hands that were once lightly clasped in prayer tightened, the palms of your hands pressing together with no space left between them. You had gulped nervously before looking back at her again to find that she was still looking at you, intrigue tugged at your gut.

It was temptation, and that was a sin; and yet… you couldn’t really find it within yourself to care. You held her gaze, before allowing yourself to smile at her shyly. The only word you could use to describe her was beaming. She radiated everything that was good, she encompassed the stars and moon in her eyes.

You didn’t know it then, but you’d learn to crave her intense stares, her attention, more than a normal girl in a normal female friendship would. You hated the sickening feeling of jealousy that would encompass you when she’d send that signature playful smile to, well… anyone really.

Your parents approved of her – not in the way you wanted them to – a nice church going girl that wanted to come over so you could read the bible together? Why, she was better than those heathens you called friends (the ones with dyed hairs and outspoken opinions).

In your small town, anyone who spoke out against the narrow-minded ideas of your extremely conservative community were alienated. They were wrong. Sinners. And God forgive those who others perceive as queer.

Now that was the worst sin of all.

Your throat would close up whenever your parents would bring up those “damned queers” and how they’re indoctrinating the poor, fragile minds of the growing youth.

You knew, how could you not know? You knew the way you felt and admired women was different from those around you. Other girls didn’t get the urge to kiss other girls, they didn’t feel that horrible, nasty feeling of lust whenever another woman would even show a mildly suggestive sliver of skin on TV.

Suddenly, dinner didn’t sound that good anymore.

But then there was Maggie. Sweet, beautiful, playful Maggie.

And the devil in disguise.

She wasn’t all she had made herself out to be to those around her; she wasn’t the mild mannered, polite southern girl, she was mischievous, and playful, and… and tempting kind. She was your rock, the one that kept you grounded to the earth when the gravity of your thoughts threatened to take you away to somewhere far away.

She also pulled you out of your comfort zone, daring you to do something you had never even dared to do before. One of those things being sneaking out to the Hayloft of her father’s barn.

It was a smelly old thing, humid and hot and everything wrong with Virginia, but most importantly it was your spot. Something that you shared with her. Even though you will always want more, being there with her was enough. It had to be enough.

You shivered at the warm air that entered your now opened window, which completely contrasted the cold air circulating through your house. Your parents had just gone down not even an hour before, but your mother, bless her heart, was so wine drunk that your father had to whisk her away to save her further mortification due to her drunken rambling.

In a strange way, knowing your mother had her flaws was comforting.

You split out quietly through the gap you had left, though due to the house being old, the thing was fidgety, so you shoved a book through the bottom to keep it open. It didn’t take you long to make it to that signature white wood chipped barn, butterflies swirling around in your gut at the thought of her being there.

“Howdy.” Maggie greeted from the top of the barn.

You jumped in surprise, clutching your chest over your speeding heart.

“Gosh Mags! You scared me! I wasn’t even halfway through the door yet!” You exclaimed quietly, but nevertheless made to climb up the ladder leading to the Hayloft above.

“Sorry hun, jus’ couldn’t wait.”

Ah, the nicknames.

Warm giddiness flowed through your veins as you set your backpack down, pulling out a blanket and a chip bag or two.

“How’d you get these?” Maggie questioned at the sight of the fattening food. You just shrug with a shy smile, “I bought ‘em when I offered to go get the groceries.”

The thing about being a fat girl in a small town is that your mom had to control it, you represented her after all. You were supposed to be the exact reflection of her, and she was most definitely not your size. So your weight was another thing she had to keep in line (aside from your sexual virtue of course.)

“Whew,” She blew out a whistled breath. “Yer growin’ darin’, girl, arent’cha?” You blushed, casting your gaze to the open part of the roof – a hole her father and brother hadn’t been able to patch yet.

It was a clear view of the darkened sky, the stars glaring despite the heat of the night.

“I guess I learned from the best.” You said cheekily. “Real darin’.” She bit back.

The tension was palpable between the two of you, but you could never – couldn’t – allow it to grow, to reach its peak. You looked away first, scrambling to try and act natural as you adjusted yourself on top of the blanket Maggie had already put down. You let the airy blanket you had brought drape over your jean covered crossed legs, almost acting as a barrier between you and your forbidden want.

Your heart was racing and your lungs were aching but God, nothing compared to the pang of longing that shot through you like a bullet had shattered into fragments.

Maggie had allowed you to slip away from her grasp once again, which you were grateful for.

She settled beside you, her own crossed legs bumping into yours, not a sliver of space between you. She had let you go, but not for long. The push and pull was beginning to grow shorter and shorter on her end, it was up to you to keep extending her more length. You had to.

After a beat of silence she said, “You ever dream of gettin’ outta here?”

You look at her, startled. “All the time.” You couldn’t stop yourself from saying.

If she was shocked by your confession, she didn’t say anything. “Why?” Was all she asked. “Because…” Because I always feel like my family’s constantly breathing down my neck, because I feel suffocated, because I can’t truly be who I am without being called an abomination.

Because I love you.

“Because I’ve always wanted to see the city.” You finally say with another half-hearted shrug.

“What if I could take you there?”

“What?” You breathed out in confusion, whipping your head around to look at her with furrowed brows.

“What if I could take you to the city, would you come with me?”

“I…” Yes, you want to say, I’d go anywhere with you. “It’s not good to entertain thoughts like this.” A loaded statement and you know it.

“Oh please, don’t hit me with that bullshit.” She scoffed. “I’m not, I’m being serious! We have our family to think about. We can't just… we can’t just leave. We have a life here, we can… we are growing a life here.” With each other.

“You don’t want that.” She says. It’s a statement not a question. “You don’t want that. I know it and you know it. And trust me, I don’t want whatever future you’re thinking of either.”

“Oh, yeah? And what future am I thinking of that’s so bad that even the big bad Maggie Greene can’t see a way out besides leaving?” You snapped. The question was ugly, and it was meant to hurt.

“The one where we grow old and act like we’re not in love with each other! Where we practically damn ourselves to hell everyday just by seeing each other, and yet we choose to condemn our lives to those with men and children we both would never truly love.” She takes your now trembling hand in hers.

“You’re envisioning a nightmare, and I am imagining a dream. A dream where we’re together in the city in a big, stupid penthouse that we both love, where we can both be free without some bible thumpers knocking at our door telling us that our love is wrong.”

You stare at her with glassy eyes, shined over with tears that threaten to pool over the edges like an unsealed jar.

“Maggie…” Was it a plea? A whimper? A beg? A beg to stop her from getting your hopes up.

“We… we can’t.” The devastation is clear in your voice and you try to pull your hand away but she won’t let you. Her grip tightens, her voice tight. “No, no more. Stop runnin’ away from me, from us. I know yer scared but… but we could do this. Are we not allowed to want this one thing to ourselves? Why can’t we just be a little selfish?”

Your eyelids flutter shut but she knows your resolve is crumbling bit by bit.

“We…” You sob. “We can’t.” It’s weak, even to your own ears. You don’t believe it, not anymore. She was right. Why couldn’t you be selfish? Your whole life you had just given and given and given until you were left wringing out a towel that was already dry.

“We can.” Was all she could say to counter your tears.

The Hayloft was silent, as if the world had heard the confession of two girls in love and captured it, tucking it away to remain safely under the stars, the moon the only one bearing witness to the raw and exposed emotions.

“Maggie?” You said after a short amount of time of her thumb stroking across the soft skin of your knuckles. “Yes, baby?”

“Kiss me?”

Her eyes widened at your request, but she didn’t hesitate to lean in closer, her lips brushing up against yours for a sweet moment.

“I love you.” Maybe you could blame it on being in the heat of the moment, or maybe a slip of the tongue, but no, you were tired of pushing her away, you were tired of running.

It felt like for the past two years you’ve known her all you’ve done is run; run from yourself, run from the expectations of your family, run from the church, run, run, run. You wanted to sit down and enjoy life for one detrimental moment.

“I love you too.” The confession brought a smile to both of your faces before she finally pressed your lips together.

It wasn’t magical, there weren't bells or an explosion of colors behind your eyelids. No, this was her, the warmth of her body, the silent creaking of the old wood under you as she shifted closer into your space, the sound of crickets and frogs making noise in the creek next not even a few feet away hidden by the treeline.

You created this kiss. This was yours and Maggie’s. No one else's.

It was sweet at first, the feeling of heartache being replaced by the indistinguishable emotion that was relief. Pure relief. Relief to finally have her in your arms. To feel her.

Your lips parted in a gasp in order to try and catch your breath, but traced the seam of it with her tongue. You shudder despite the heat. She was pressing against you, like she was trying to shove you back.

“Lay down fer me?” She questions softly. Your stomach twists for a moment in fear before dissipating. This was Maggie. Maggie. Maggie.

You follow her ask, the woman slipping a thigh through your legs so she can balance the other one on the outside of you. Her hand never left its cradling form on your face, the other holding herself up above you.

When the muscle of her tongue finally slipped inside your mouth, that’s when her leg twitches forward, like she was trying to swallow you whole. Her knee brushed against your pant covered heat and you whined.

“Maggie…” You whimper, your hands that are placed timidly on her shoulders tighten a bit, the dull pads of your fingers digging into her shoulder blades.

“How far do you wanna go?”

You knew what she meant.

Sex was already such a taboo subject, but homosexual sex between two women? That was enough to give any old conservative woman a heart attack. You knew you should tell her to stop, to say that kissing and planning your future together was enough, but it wasn’t. Now that you finally allowed yourself to let go, you want everything you’ve deprived yourself of.

“As far as you want.” You confess breathlessly. “No promise I have any idea of what I’m doing but I – but I want everything with you. Whatever you want. I’ll go anywhere with you.”

Her heated expression turned soft before it turned salacious.

“You don’t need to do anything sweetheart, jus’ let me do all the work, ‘kay? Gonna make you feel so good.” She all but purred. “Whatever you want.” You gasped as she placed kisses down the sensitive and unexplored part of your neck.

“Mags no marks…” You moan as she travels lower. “I know what ‘m doin’ sweet girl, stop worrying that pretty little head of yours and let go, yeah?”

You breath hitches at the feeling of her nimble, deft fingers working at the buttons of your jeans, her lips cradled at the shell of your ear. The puff of air sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah.” You agreed easily.

“Good girl.” She cooed and your cheeks bloomed a pretty heat in embarrassment.

Maggie hooks her fingers in the material at your pants and tugs them down your thick thighs, getting caught over the curve of your ass.

“Lift your hips up.” She demands softly, and you eagerly oblige.

She tugs them the rest of the way down, discarding them carelessly off to the side.

“You good?” She questions. “Yes, yeah, yes – please just… please don’t stop.” You all but beg. “I won’t honey, I got you.”

She works your panties down your legs, leaving you exposed to her hungry gaze.

“Don’t stare.” You mumble shyly. “How can I not? You look so pretty.” You huff at the teasing tone in her voice. “Shush.” You bite without any malice, closing your legs to disrupt her view of your soaking cunt.

“Aw, baby, don’t be like that.” She laughs leaning her body into your space to separate your legs with her own body. Her eyes are trained on you and you gulp. “Hi.” You breathe. “Hey yourself.” She giggles.

The tender moment continues when she leans down to join your mouths together softly. You close your eyes and lean into her, arms wrapping loosely around her neck oblivious to the wandering hand that slithers its way between the two of you.

When her fingertips brush against your wet slit you gasp, mouth falling open and inviting to assault as her tongue weaves its way into it again. Your tongues fight for a moment before you submit to hear, tiny whimpers piercing the serene and murky atmosphere.

Maggie’s finger dips into the wetness, searching along before stopping on top of your clit, which she gives an experimental rub against.

“Oh!” You cry out, your hips stuttering. “‘M sensitive.” She coos, continuing now in fast circles. They’re just two finger pads pressed against the bud, but it feels like everything. Your breath gets caught in your throat once more and your eyes flutter shut.

“That feels… so…” You can’t find the words because it feels like your brain is shutting down. “Good, amazing, fantastic?” She lists out through a shit-eating smirk. You can’t find it within yourself to chide her, not when she stops and sinks one of her fingers into your heat.

“Ah – gosh, Maggie!”

“Shh, beautiful girl. I know we're outside but you gotta lower it, alright?”

“Mhm, whatever you want.” You said dazedly. Your head fell back when her thumb began drawing figure-eights on your clit. She laughs fondly, placing a heated kiss on your lips.

“Gonna add another one, ‘kay? It’ll feel a bit weird but I swear it’ll get better.” She warns. “It’s okay, I trust you.” You reassure despite the pleasure cloud in your mind. “Good.”

A second finger slips in, and though it’s a bit uncomfortable it’s quickly overridden by the proper wrist work of her hand. Something coils in your stomach, and it’s so tight and it makes you feel so desperate, like your nerves are on fire.

“Another one.” You demand breathlessly. “I gotta – I need another one. I’m so close and I don’t know – I…”

“Sh, sh, sh. Alright, baby. Three fingers already? Wow, what a good girl, always knew you could take it.” She coos and you tremble. “You’ve thought of me like this?” You ask through pinched brows. “Uh huh. Thought of you when I was alone in my room at night with a hand shoved down my pants, thought of you when those pretty little lips of your spoke or smiled, thought of you when you wore those nice flowing skirts and those tight dresses.” She rambled.

“Could go on and on ‘bout how crazy you make me.”

Her dirty words all but shoved you to your end.

“You ever think ‘bout me?”

“Huh?” You asked intelligently. “You ever thought ‘bout getting fucked by me? Oh, better yet, you ever thought about fucking me?”

“God – Maggie! Yes, yes, I!” It all happened too fast. One moment all of the fantasies of her had crossed your mind; her bare breasts, the taste of her, how she would sound. It was all too much, and you clenched down on her fingers like a vice, but she didn’t seem to mind, only curling them fast against your g-spot, her thumb relentless on its quest to give you a mind blowing orgasm.

“That’s it, get my hand messy, uh huh…” Maggie sounded dazed herself as she watched you squirm and clench and tremble, transfixed on the space between you. Your back arched into her, your own digits tangling in her now sweat soaked hair, drips of the liquid falling on your face.

Maybe any other time you would care, but not when she was deep in you.

You came down with a sigh, back finally flattening from its twisted up position. Your thighs fell apart and her fingers left you, the woman wiping them on the blanket below.

“Holy. Fuck.” Maggie laughed and you couldn’t help but join her, your already burning lungs struggling to contract to the new emotion.

“That was… wow.”

“A little bit better than wow, but I’ll take it.” She teased, falling to lay next to you.

As you came down, you placed your hands over your full stomach, fingers interlacing together as you turned to stare at her. “What about you?” You asked. Your eyes trailed down to the spot between her legs.

“What about me? We’ve always got next time, ya know? In the big city, in a nice plush bed and ac. Maybe even with a few candles lit compared to horse shit.”

You laughed again, but your stomach didn’t curl when she mentioned going to the city together. If anything, it was filled with excitement and hope. Hope hasn’t been something you felt for a long time.

You reached over and gripped her dirty hand.

“I love you, you know?” You questioned quietly into the air.

“Yeah,” She began, lifting to bring your palm up so she could kiss the back of it before letting it fall back on your stomach carelessly.

“I know.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon

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allyricas · 1 year

Text

Moving On pt. 1

a follow up to Steve's Mixtape Part 2

includes: pining, gay steve harrington, stobin supremacy and oblivious eddie munson word count: 2,995 (whoops)

It's been two weeks since Steve made a complete and total fool of himself in front of his friend Eddie Munson. His apparently straight friend. The straight friend that Steve confessed his big, gay love for only to be rejected. The look on Eddie's face had been haunting Steve's every waking moment. Disgust. Horror.

"Man, I'm not... I'm not gay. I don't like you that way."

His mixtape was currently playing loud enough to drown out any thoughts. Steve's head dangled off the edge of his bed. He figured maybe he'd eventually pass out from the lack of oxygen and forget all about this whole ordeal. Well except for the being gay part because Steve is gay. One hundred percent homosexual.

He realizes how that must look from the outside. How could Steve 'the hair' Harrington possibly be gay? He was a bonafide ladies' man. He'd slept with plenty of girls. Hell, hadn't he been in love with Nancy Wheeler. And that's the thing, he did sleep with plenty of girls and he absolutely loved Nancy. Always would.

Note the lack of 'in love with' in that sentence because he'd realized his feelings for Nancy were all tangled up in confusion. He knew he was supposed to find a pretty girl and eventually get married. Be miserable like his parents. He truly did care for Nance. She was beautiful and smart, but she never gave him butterflies. Never made him feel like he'd die if he couldn't kiss her or touch her. He'd been performing. Funny enough, Nancy had seen through him and they broke up over spilled drinks and cruel words. Bullshit.

Hey, she was right though. It was bullshit because it wasn't girls that set him on fire. It wasn't soft curves and delicate touches that made him crazy. He was just exceptionally good at suppressing those feelings. His father would kill him for being one of those people. That was one of the nicer ways his dad liked to talk about people he didn't understand. There was so much internalized hatred that he had to work through and he was. He'd been making steps.

Robin made all the difference in the world. When she'd tearfully come out to him on that dirty mall bathroom floor, Steve felt his whole world shift. He wasn't ready to say anything about his own situation, but he knew he wasn't alone anymore. Cue the end of the world, again, and suddenly it clicks for Steve. He could have died and he'd never come out and lived an authentic life. Never accepted himself all because his dad is a bigoted dick. All because society had decided that some love is wrong. So, Steve decides then and there: fuck that. Fuck his father and fuck society. Steve was gay. And he came out to Robin in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse. All she'd said was 'I'm so proud of you dingus." and gave him a hug.

So yes, Robbie knew all about the crush. They'd sit and talk all about every little thing Eddie would say to Steve. Even Robin had been so sure that Eddie was flirting and interested. She'd encouraged Steve to go for it. Steve had been sure too. All the cutesy nicknames and the way Eddie was always in his personal space. The constant touching. Was Eddie like that with everyone and Steve was just stupid?

As Steve let himself get dizzier and dizzier and Air Supply sang about being all out of love and being lost without someone, Robin was letting herself into his house with her spare key. He figured she'd be there eventually and found he didn't have the energy to even care if she saw him this way. His hair was a mess, he'd been wearing the same pajamas for days. Takeout containers were strewn around his bedroom.

"Steven Elizabeth, I am going to burn this goddamn tape! Holy shit, you are a mess." Robin yelled; her tone was judgmental but her face was filled with pity. He hated it.

"I am wallowing. I'm a fucking mess." Steve shrugged, attempting to sit up. Robin ejected the tape, putting in her pocket. Steve made grabby hands but she quickly evaded him. "Also, my name isn't Steven Elizabeth."

"Enough of this, Steve. I know it hurts. I probably know more than anyone. It's why I never make a move on Vickie. What if it goes wrong and then she knows about me and rejects me and then I'll be a social pariah and we won't even be friends." Robin rambled as Steve glared.

"Thank you, Rob. So helpful. Rejected. Check. Pariah. Check. Lost a friend. Fucking check." Steve cries.

"Sorry, I just get it. It will be okay though. As soon as I graduate, we should get the fuck out of this town. Go somewhere else. Indy. Chicago. A city where we can somewhat live openly. We can meet other gays and fall in love and move on from our tragic straight crushes."

Steve considers her words. Leave Hawkins. The kids will be sophomores next year. Indy isn't so far away that he couldn't come back if something happens. He's been saving money for the past year and a half. He has his trust fund. He doesn't have to stay.

"We'd get a shitty apartment and a cat. Find our favorite coffee shop. I could do whatever I want. Hell, I want to go to cosmetology school. I think I'd be really good at doing hair and shit. We could breathe away from this place. There's no freedom here, is there?" Steve said it all in rush, like he couldn't believe he was admitting it all out loud.

"Let's fucking do it, Stevie. You would be amazing at that. You literally fix my hair on a regular basis. Let's go live our gay lives somewhere besides this shit hole. You can let go of Eddie and I can let go of Vickie. We can start over. No more shitty parents and closets."

"Yeah, babe. Time to start making plans!" For the first time in weeks, months even, Steve felt hope stirring inside of him. He knows it's gonna be hard to tell Dustin and the others. He's not even sure if he should tell Eddie, but he will. He wishes things were different and that he could ask Eddie to come with them. Go back to the moment before he ruined everything and just be friends again.

Maybe he could do that one day. Maybe leaving Hawkins for the city would put these feelings into perspective. The immense, overwhelming love he feels for Eddie would soften in a new setting and Steve could move on. Find a nice guy that he was compatible with and fall in love. He hopes that Eddie will at least be happy for him and Robin.

______________________________________________

He tells his parents when they stop in for the weekend. About moving, not about cosmetology or being gay. Says he's applying to a community college in Indy and is going to live with Robin. Allows his parents to make their own assumptions as does Robin when she shares that Steve is moving with her. If their parents think they're dating, it's not the worst thing. It gets his dad off his case at the very least.

He tells Dustin first. Dustin's response surprises him. Dustin tells him "It's about goddamn time you get of this town. you better call me all the time though." Steve promises to set up the phone first thing and ring him. The others react similarly. Happy for him, but sad he's going. He knows he's gonna miss them like crazy.

He's still working up to calling Eddie. It's been three weeks and he hasn't heard a word from him. What he doesn't account for is the kids telling him before he gets a chance. It’s a humid Sunday afternoon and he and Robin are lounging by the pool, a pitcher of margaritas next to them. It’s halfway gone and they’d been heavy on the tequila. They’re delightfully tipsy.

Robin graduates next week. Then their packing up the beamer and finally going to visit Indy and find an apartment and jobs, hopefully. The sun is hot on Steve’s skin as he contemplates getting in the pool to cool off when he feels a shadow over him.

“Rob, what the fuck. You’re blocking my sun.” Steve whines without even opening his eyes.

“Uh huh, you’re blocking mine dingus.” She laughs in response. Both steadily heading out of the region of tipsy.

Steve opens his eyes and Eddie Munson is standing over him. Arms crossed and his mouth in a tight line like he’s pissed. He isn’t even sure how the fuck he got into his backyard, but he is not prepared for this today. He doesn’t want to ruin the perfect vibe of this lazy Sunday afternoon with his best friend. He waits for Eddie to say something, but he just glares.

“How the fuck did you even get in here, Munson?” Robin asks. If she sounds a bit meaner than usual, that’s her prerogative. She had to watch Steve cry over this guy for weeks. And that’s not counting all the pining prior to his disastrous love confession. She’d listened to that goddamn mixtape more times than she could count.

“I rang the doorbell for like 10 minutes. I climbed the fence.” Eddie shrugs like it was a totally normal thing to do.

“Well, what do you want? Want a margarita?” Steve asks, unsure of what to say or do, not with Eddie glaring down at him like he’s a speck of dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Fuck. Eddie fucking hates him.

Eddie huffs. Steve is half expecting him to stomp his feet. It is not cute. Steve will not cave to these thoughts. Eddie Munson throwing a temper tantrum is not adorable like a puppy trying to act like a vicious dog.

“I had to find out from the gremlins that you’re fucking leaving. You and Buckley are moving to Indy, apparently soon. Were you going to tell me or just leave?” Eddie finally asks. He looks angrier than Steve has ever seen him which makes him angry. The sheer audacity of this man to sit here and yell at him after ignoring him for weeks.

“How dare you sit there and yell at him. Get out.” Robin responds. She’s visibly angry. “You have a lot of nerve to come here yelling at Steve like he did anything wrong!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong either. Harrington's the one who had to make shit awkward. I still thought we were close enough friends that you guys would tell me you're leaving. Would you have left without saying goodbye?”

“I was going to tell you, but I wasn’t sure you wanted to hear from me. You made your feelings very clear. And hey, no hard feelings. We can be friends, of course. I would have told you.” Steve felt the words spill out of him like he had no control over it. He hated to see the hurt look on Eddie’s face. He couldn’t stand being the cause of that for one second. “Can we just let it go. Pretend it never happened and go back to the way things were? Please?”

“Dude, back to before I knew you were in love with me? I don’t think I can just forget that, but I do still want to be friends.”

“I am moving on, it won’t be long before this unfortunate crush is just a shitty memory, yeah?” Steve joked despite the way his heart was breaking apart in his chest. He felt Robin squeeze his hand. God, he fucking loved her. “I’m sure I'll meet some cute guy in Indy and you won’t have to worry about a thing man.”

“Right... a shitty memory. That’s. Of course, I'm sure you will meet someone.” Eddie replied, sounding like he was about freak out again. Couldn't even acknowledge that Steve would be meeting a guy. Eddie sat down next to Robin and pulled out a joint. Lit it up without a word and took a few hits before passing it over.

Steve couldn’t take the tense energy that Eddie had brought so he plunged into the pool and let himself sink to the bottom. Be friends with Eddie like his heart didn’t ache every time he even thought about him. Be friends with the man he was head over heels in love with. He wasn’t sure he could do it. He knew it wasn’t fair to stop being friends with Eddie over this, but it hurt so much.

He finally swam up to the top and looked over at him and Robin bitching at each other lightly. She liked Eddie well enough, but never understood Steve’s infatuation. She’d made that very clear. So, she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind to him on any number of things. She was currently berating him for smoking. She’d plucked a cigarette out of his mouth and thrown it in the pool. Gross. Eddie was bemoaning the loss of his cigarette while Rob laughed and told him smoking was cancerous.

It was gross, yes, but also fucking sexy when Eddie did it. He listened and occasionally threw in a bitchy reply of his own, but could barely follow along. All he could think about was the trip to Indy. The desperate need to escape this damn town and a certain metalhead in it. It would be a lot easier to move on when he only had to see Eddie whenever he visited home. Out of sight, out of mind was the plan for Steve. He climbed out of the pool and noticed the way Eddie wouldn’t even look at him until he had his towel wrapped around him. Idiot.

“So, you’re going to University of Indiana, right Buck? What are you going to do Steve-O?” Eddie asked, honestly curious about their plans.

“Yeah, I’ve got a scholarship for band.”

“I’m going to cosmetology school. I want to do hair.” Steve replied. He was done giving a shit about what anyone thought of him or his interests. He knew people often thought ‘beauty school’ was too feminine. It was too gay. Not good enough for a Harrington boy who’d always excelled in sports. But fuck everyone, because he knows this is the right thing for him.

“Shit, really? I reckon you’ll be good at that. They called you ‘The Hair’ in school. I mean, damn you managed to have nice hair during the end of the world. Makes sense.” Eddie smiled over at him and Steve felt his heart skip a beat. Goddamnit.

“Thanks, man.” Steve replied softly. He felt embarrassed by the way Eddie was looking at him like he truly saw him. “Always thought you’d head off to the city somewhere the moment you were done with high school. You have any big plans?”

“Shit, Jeff, Gareth and I are planning on moving together. It’s tentative right now. Grant might come, might be stuck going to school closer to home. Uh, Jeff and Gar are going to U of I. So, we’ll be in Indy too. Maybe, if it all works out. I mean, I’m not sure about leaving my uncle...the old man swears he’ll be fine. Tells me to get the fuck out of this town every time the topic comes up.” Eddie was stammering, clearly nervous to share this info with Steve and Robin.

Steve felt his stomach drop but he pushed away the dread. Indianapolis was big enough that he’d probably never run into Eddie unless it was on purpose. It’d be nice to still see him occasionally. Eddie deserved to get out of this town, too. He’d never be accepted here. Always seen as the satanist, murder regardless of how many times the news and police declared him innocent of all charges. He sees the way people give Eddie dirty looks everywhere he goes. He’d even had his tires slashed and murderer written on his van in spray paint.

Yeah, it didn't matter how hard it would be for Steve to know Eddie was nearby. Eddie deserved to be free too. Robin’s quiet, simply sitting next to Steve holding his hand tightly. Her support clear, but letting Steve decide how to reply to this news. Eddie was hiding behind his hair. Not cute. Not adorable. Nope.

“That’s awesome. Your uncle is totally right. Run and don’t look back. This town is full of assholes who think the worst of you and you deserve a fresh start man. At least this way, we can still hang out sometimes, right?” Steve smiled. He pushed down all his negative feelings so that he could support his friend in this moment. Eddie smiles back at Steve and it feels like the world makes sense.

“Thanks, man. I gotta go talk to the guys. Make some plans, I guess. Figure out how to tell the kids. I’ll see you guys later.” Eddie walks over to the fence like he’s going to climb it.

“Just unlock the gate man, don’t climb the fence for fuck’s sake.” Steve laughed and Eddie flipped him off as he scrambled over the fence in protest. Idiot. Steve hates the way it feels affectionate.

Fuck.

He feels Robin’s eyes on him. Shakes his head signaling his inability to discuss it right now. He was absolutely fucked. His fresh start away from Eddie wasn’t going to be such a fresh start after all. Maybe they’d never see each other. Maybe Eddie would find some metalhead girl and make metalhead babies that listen to metal lullabies and that would be enough for Steve to move the fuck on.

For now, sitting by the pool with his best friend, knowing in a month or so, he’d be out of Hawkins and in the city. Where he might get to meet other gay guys. Might meet a guy who wants him back. It feels like enough to take a little bit of the heartache away.

#steddie #angst #oblivious eddie munson #gay steve harrington #stobin supremacy #this will have a few parts but not sure how many #i am literally writing this to soothe the itch i have for gay steve and bisexual eddie #steddie fic

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