#though i do think it would have been nice if his character was welsh in this film!

[poetryincamelot]

All right, Merlin fans, where is the discussion happening on our beloved Vlavla being in a romcom with Lindsay Lohan?

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Hi I’m a big fan of your blog , your a talented writer and I love how write the characters 💗

I was wondering; what do you think the turtles would name their children if their had kids ? (If that’s to many turtles ; maybe 2012 , rise and 2003 version )

I personally like the idea of rise mikey calling one of his kids Ozzy or name them after famous chiefs like Ramsay for an example. Love to hear your thoughts 💗

What Would They Name Their Children? (Headcanons)

2003!Turtles

A/N: I’ve decided to split this up into three, as I think that will be easier for me to keep track of. With that being said, the information about these names was some that I found on the internet. Meanings might change depending on culture, language and country. So this time we start with 2003💚

Warnings: None💚

Leonardo:

Gif by @isitdonproof

Leo would like names that are more traditional, yet with a historical reasoning behind it. Though Leo isn’t superstitious he does understand that giving your child a certain name can have an impact on their life. There he would want to name them after people that history remembered as strong with a lot of power.

For Boys:

Alexander, after Alexander the Great.

Caesar, after Julius Caesar and the many other Roman leaders that would take on the name caesar.

William, both after William Shakespeare and William the Conqueror.

For Girls:

Victoria, after Queen Victoria, the grandmother of Europe.

Elizabeth, both after Queen Elizabeth the I and II.

Catherine, after Catherine the Great.

Raphael:

Raph would like to give his children names that reminded people of strength and bravery. If his partner is from another country, he would love to give them a name from that culture. However, Raph does like names that are somewhat short. He thinks it looks nice when written down, along with having a certain presence when spoken.

For Boys:

Rex, meaning king in Latin.

Storm, a somewhat common name in Scandinavia meaning what it sounds like - storm.

Lev, meaning “lion” in Russian, and “heart” in Hebrew. Little Lionheart.

For Girls:

Lola, meaning “strong woman” in Spanish.

Carla, meaning “one who is strong” is Teutonic.

Binsa, with a Nepali origin meaning “a woman who is fearless”.

Donatello:

Donnie is a smart guy that loves history and mythology. Having not just been all over the world but several places in the universe, and having jumped back and forth in time. Donnie will have a great appreciation of old human history and mythology, and would love to name his children after that, especially after a culture that his partner is from. Examples could be:

For Boys:

Atlas, after the famous Titan from Greek mythology, that carried the sky on his shoulders, keeping it from falling upon the earth.

Achilles, after the famous Greek hero.

Amon, after the Egyptian God/Gods.

For Girls:

Freya, after the Norse Goddess of beauty.

Embla, after the first human woman according to Norse mythology.

Bastet, after the Egyptian Goddess of protection and good health.

Michelangelo:

Gif by @isitdonproof

Mikey will want to name his children in a way that shows just how much he loved them. And what better way is there to show love for your child, by giving them names that literally mean love, or something just as sweet. Mikey also has a love for “special” names - aka, names that are not very common in his hometown of New York City.

For Boys:

Kaipo, is a Hawaiian unisex name meaning “the sweetheart”.

Caerwyn, meaning “love”, “fair” and “blessed” in Welsh.

Oratilwe, meaning “loved one” in African.

For Girls:

Nayeli, meaning “I love you” in the Native American language, Zapotecs.

Settarra, meaning “beloved” in French.

Maitea, meaning “love” in Spanish.

[ladykailitha]

Corroded Coffin Headcanons!

Why yes, I am procrastinating. Why do you ask?

I've good all week and want to take a little break and descend into madness, so I'm allowed, okay?

As always, you can headcanon whatever the hell you want, just like I can, so please no hate. Good?

Good.

This mostly about the members of CC and not necessarily about the band as a whole.

I'm going to do Eddie last because we know the most about him.

The Unnamed Freak- And as far as I've heard around, this dude STILL doesn't have a name. I've seen all sorts of names for him: Frank, because it sounds like freak; Grant, because that's the actor's name; Archie, is another I've seen crop up a lot; and of course a smattering of others. In all of my fics, he's Brian. All the other members of the band had epic names: Gareth, a knight of King Arthur's Round Table, Edward, the name of several of England's kings, and even Geoffrey has a lot of famous people of that name. So he gets named Brian. Usually his last name is Martin.

He met Eddie because they were seated next to each other due to their last names in band. Eddie got him into metal music and the subculture.

Bassist for the band he began learning at an early age, early enough that he was and is the band's only bassist.

He is the oldest of four kids having three younger siblings. Two brothers and a sister. He tries to get out of babysitting as often as he can.

He's ace but not aro. When I age him up in stories, he's often in a romantic relationship, but never a sexual one. He's not sex repulsed but it's not for him.

He was held back in kindergarten and understands what Eddie is going through as far as being older than his peers.

He's a year younger than Eddie, and if he hadn't been held back would have graduated with Steve.

Jeff- Everyone thinks his given name is Geoffrey, but nope. It's Jeffrey. It's because his mom thought it would be easier for him. Nope! He has one older sister who is away at college. His last name is Lawrence mainly because I love that name and I think Jeff Lawrence just has a nice ring to it.

He is the grade he's suppose to be in, the same grade as well...literally every other older teen in the series except Steve and Eddie. In fact he's super smart, but doesn't have the patience to help Eddie with his school work. He gets frustrated too easily.

His mom hopes he gives up the idea of super stardom soon because she thinks he's smart enough to be a doctor.

In my fics where I age them up, he has a white girlfriend and understands Eddie's fear of going public with a guy, because in the 80s, black boy and white girl is just as bad as being gay. Still is in some places, sadly.

Jeff is Eddie's best friend, mainly because they both play guitar. Jeff is rhythm guitar, though because Eddie is far and away the better player.

Jeff is bisexual. Yes, he is with a girl most of the time and his relationship with his girlfriend is a lot like a couple friends of mine, where they are both bisexual, but dating an opposite member from their sex. Still experiences attraction to the same sex, though.

Gareth- this might shock some people but Emerson is a fanon not a canon last name for the character. And because I headcanon him as second generation American, his grandparents migrated over to America from Wales and his dad is first generation, their last name is Hughes. His dad knows Welsh, but Gareth and Gethin his twin brother don't.

The main reason I think this is because Gareth is a very Welsh first name. As is the name Gethin, in case you were wondering. It's why I picked Gethin as the name of his twin.

I think Gareth is a twin because there is a character in the first episode taking pictures at the basketball game that looks a lot like Gareth, almost uncannily so. You can even see Nancy talking to him for a moment.

Gareth is gay and Gethin is straight. Gethin is everything his parents would want from a kid, straight, smart, into photography, preppy. Everything Gareth isn't. He's gay, struggles in school, drums for a metal band, and is a metalhead.

That's not to say his parents aren't supportive, because they are. They let Corroded Coffin play in their garage, after all. But Gareth still feels like a disappointment anyway.

He's a junior in high school and absolutely wants to drop out when his bandmates graduate, but he's afraid his mom will kill him.

Eddie- Look, I know I've used Edward as his full name a lot, but sometimes Edmond is just the superior name. And I use them interchangeably, but yeah it's probably Edward considering he grew up poor.

Wayne is a Catholic (you see a calendar of the saints in the trailer) and Eddie grew up around Catholicism, but the more he realized he was gay and moved further into the metal subculture the less he liked the religion.

Yes he does know the patch on the side of his denim vest is the church of Satan. :D

Wayne bought him his first guitar after his mother died and taught him how to play as way of coping with the grief.

Eddie was one of those students that coasted in school until his senior year where suddenly the difficulty was ramped up to eleven.

He promised his mom that he would graduate from high school though, because she didn't. She got pregnant with him.

I think he was 11 or 12 when he went to go live with Wayne, just barely starting middle school. He's been around Wayne long enough that he knows he's loved by him, but old enough to have been influenced a little by his dad's life style.

In fact, it was his dad that got him into dealing drugs for Reefer Rick.

His dad keeps coming into town and dragging Eddie back down with him and leaving Wayne to pick up the pieces.

I've written him bisexual in the past, and probably will again, but there is just something about Eddie being gay that hits a sweet spot. An extra box to tick in the freak department (not that being gay is bad, it's just how Eddie would see it).

The Munson Doctrine is a serious things he's picked up over the years from his dad and uncle but also his experiences with life as whole.

Did NOT get bullied by Steve. Especially since for most of Steve's high school career Eddie was the grade above him. He just dealt at enough parties to "know" rich+good looking+popular with girls=douchebag. But he hasn't had any direct experience with Steve outside of the odd class they had together his second senior year.

Is the president of the Hellfire Club in practice, but on paper it's usually someone else. Someone more liked by the principal. And is billed as a gaming club on the school records so that it doesn't get banned. Everyone knows it's DND.

Corroded Coffin- Just a little headcanon here. Gareth is the second drummer but everyone else were original members that played at that Talent Show (Gareth would have been in fifth grade). They picked up Gareth after their original drummer moved away.

So there you go, just some of my headcanons for the CC boys.

[pigeonwit]

heya pidge!! 5, 6, 21, 22 for the askssss

5: rare headcanons you love?

y'know i've never really quantified headcanons into 'rare' or 'common'? i suppose 'rare' would be 'not often seen in fanon' but,,, idk it's hard for me to think of them like that. i think one i'm quite attached to that i've never seen before is davey being an avid video game enjoyer. people tend to categorize davey as this 'academic' type character who'd be very bookish and nerdy which somehow disqualifies him rfom liking video games, but speaking as a very bookish nerdy boy myself, i love video games and i know davey does too, but exclusively very plot driven games with strong narratives and lots of room for fan theories, like stray, little nightmares and the last guardian. not farming sims, though. his autistic ass cannot do farming sims or he'll forget to eat. i also personally believe that crutchie is welsh and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

6: common headcanons you love?

jack being a romantic, probably. i know the musical tries to set him up like a flirt but i just do not see it at all; i think he falls in love very easily and tries to pass it off as flirting, but that does not a player make. hcs of both jack and davey being multilingual i like, and also jack being a multimedia artist, like doing photography as well as painting - i like the idea that he can channel inspiration through a lot of different things, not just one.

21. are you writing/drawing/creating anything outside of fanfiction/fan comics? Do you have any original works?

oh davey i am so glad you asked this question - yes, i am! i have to write a creative portfolio piece twice a year for classes, and i have three working ideas (one: the Real Life manhattan, west virginia (which would preferably be a graphic novel) two: a currently untitled story about a robot built for the impending apocalypse which then malfunctions, misses the apocalypse and now has to function in a world that doesn't fit into what it was designed for (which would preferably be a television show) and three: another currently untitled story about a factory worker in victorian england whose brother tragically dies in an accident that he believes was supernatural in nature and now dedicates his life to solving (which would preferably be a novel). and GUESS WHAT i actually sent a few of the things i've written to an animation festival as part of an application process and i've since been offered a place in their creative industries and development programme!!! i'm still kind of reeling at the idea that people actually liked my story concepts so fingers crossed for me!!!

22. what is your favourite topic to write about?

in fanfiction? domesticity. i love big complex plot-heavy fics and i do have ideas for some, but i think i've built a nice nest for myself in writing slice of life fics that allow the character to get to know themselves better and allow others to know them better, too. in my original works? the opposite. i love speculative fiction, i love exploring my experiences through absurdity, i love saying 'what if this happened' and following that allllll the way through, it's the best. yes i AM a little robot who wasn't built for this world, thank you. yes i AM a little victorian boy convincing myself monsters are real so i don't have to grapple with the impending knowledge that death is not just or villainous in any way, it simply Is, WHAT is your problem? hm? hm?

[frostbite-merun]

Well Known Knights of the Round Table Ranked

King Arthur: ???/10 So he's weird because his whole deal is that he's a Good King. The interpretation of what that is varies from person to person so he's wildly different across pretty much everything. Is he a noble and somber figure doing his best? Is he a kind of dumb but well meaning golden retriever of a man? Is he a mighty warrior and shrewd politician? Depending on the person, yes. And while that's really cool, it means I can't really rate the character because there's a million different versions of him. There's also interpretations where he's the antagonist to Lancelot and Guinevere's Whole Deal because I guess it's easier to excuse cheating by twisting the cheated-on character into a jackass. Just make it polyamorous you COWARDS

Sir Lancelot: 9/10 Fundamentally changed the entire canon and story. He's been awarded with the 'Most Accidental Teamkills' award and was voted 'Biggest Drama Queen in Camelot' 7 years running. He's inherently funny as a concept as the world's most popular OC do not steal, doubly funny taking into account that he also caused what I suspect to be the first instance of Vriscourse-esque fandom drama. Legendary. Also he's bisexual and if you give me like a week in The Hole I think that I can find pre-internet sources for this.

Sir Kay: 9/10 Unfortunately overlooked in later works considering he's A) King Arthur's adopted brother B) Funnie and C) A good foil to a lot of the other characters. He's a hothead, bully, braggart, and a jokey kind of guy with more pride than sense that's usually there to get his shit kicked in a bit. A good chunk of knights also have him talking shit at them as their entire motivation for going off on a grand quest. They can't put him in gritty reimaginings because he'd make them too much fun to read/watch. Though I DO admit that he has the potential to be very, very annoying if written poorly. I'd also like to note that he's avoided being made into a perfect-pure-special-Christian-boy-who-does-the-chivalry for over 2000 years and has maintained his shithead status. King.

The G Boys (Gawain, Gareth, aGravaine, and Gaheris): 6/10 I wish people would stop forgetting that Gaheris and Agravaine exist and/or mashing all four of these men into One Guy. I understand the irony of me giving them a shared entry but this is a long post and they're all brothers. It's nice that Gawain got some love recently with the 2021 movie Green Knight. And by love I mean good lord people were horny for Dev Patel. Also Gareth is canonically Baby. He is the ultimate Little Brother.

Sir Mordred: 10/10 MORGAN LE FAY IS NOT HIS MOM. Shoulders the whole final act of the legend as the antagonist. Let's be honest, he'd be a Tumblr sexyman if more people knew about him. He ticks all the boxes: Misunderstood, pale, dark hair, a bit evil, tragic backstory (incest), rebellious... Personally I'd love to see him break containment and take the Sexyman Crown he so rightfully deserves. Duck from Thomas the Tank Engine managed it, so I don't see why he can't.

Sir Bedivere (Bedwyr if you're a REAL gamer): 10/10 I do not CARE if I am biased. This man is my BLORBO. He HAS BEEN since I was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. And I am VERY UPSET that the most common spelling of his name is borderline un-google-able because of the Fate Series. I am ASSAULTED by mildly horny images of anime men that I wasn't looking for. I was LOOKING for scraggly Welshmen. It's like accidentally taking a sip of someone else's drink. I wanted COKE not TEA dammit. At least they remembered that he has a prosthetic hand. He and Arthur possess the only braincell in Camelot.

Sir Griflet: 10/10 This guy is functionally a different character from who he initially was. Who did he used to be, you ask? Nothing big, nothing important just a minor welsh faerie deity. I don't know how he got added to the canon but I'm glad he did. Now he's Bedivere and Lucan's cousin and sometimes trades places with Bedivere as the last survivor of the final battle who chucks Excalibur into the lake. I like to think of him as a faerie who just showed up, convinced Bedivere and Lucan that he's their cousin, and hangs around Camelot because he finds it all interesting. Lastly: He has like... a hundred different names.

Sir Tristan: 6/10 Look his whole deal is that he's sad. Not sad as in like... pathetic but experiencing the emotion of sadness. That is what he's known for. His name is SYNONYMOUS with being sad. The ORIGINAL Sadboy. He would have an emo cut with those weird checkerboard streaks if he lived in 2007.

Sir Galahad: 0/10 The most inherently funny character in the canon. He was invented as a middle finger to Lancelot. He EXISTS because people were mad at Lancelot. He is THE purest HOLIEST mostest special boy. We're talking 'angels come down to take him away to Heaven' special. The only reason that he's a 0/10 is because I am mad that he steals Percival's role in a lot of stuff or gets mashed with him to form a Dragon Ball Fusion.

Sir Percival: 9/10 To be perfectly honest I only like this guy as much as I do because he has the coolest name out of all the knights. He's a pretty generic 'super cool and special and handsome and chivalrous' sort of knight... But I do not care. He has a cool name and I vibe with the aesthetic it conjures in my brain whenever I read it. I'm not alone in this based on all the adventures he was given until they got given to Galahad which sort of implies that he's the blueprint for the 'godly and virtuous knight who does chivalry'.

Sir Dagonet: 10/10 This guy is great and I'm pretty sure he was almost a meme a few years back??? I just remember getting blindsided by seeing a bunch of tumblr posts about him a few years back. He started his existence as just an asshole braggart who existed to make some of the other knights look better, then a violent, bloodthirsty crazy guy, and now he's a beloved jester who got knighted. I'm a fan of the jester interpretation myself because good lord there's enough 'violent man accidentally murders people' guys running around and Kay covers the 'braggart asshole foil' role in a less obnoxious way. I imagine him with silly little jester bells tied to his armor whenever he goes out on quests.

[ramblingromance]

A Reckless Match: Book Review

A family that's been at odds for centuries, secret caves, and a smugglers' plot! There's all this and more in A Reckless Match by Kate Bateman, so read along for some of my thoughts, feelings, and rambles on...

Meet the Davies and Montgomery families - two households locked in an ancient feud, destined to be on opposing sides forever. Until now... CAN LIFELONG HATE Madeline Montgomery grew up despising––and secretly loving––the roguish Gryffud “Gryff” Davies. Their families have been bitter rivals for hundreds of years, but even if her feelings once crossed the line between love and hate, she’s certain Gryff never felt the same. Now, she’s too busy saving her family from ruin to think about Gryff and the other “devilish” Davies siblings. Since he’s off being scandalous in London, it’s not like she’ll ever see him again... TURN TO TRUE LOVE As the new Earl of Powys, Gryff Davies planned on spending his post-war life enjoying the pleasures of London. But when an illegal duel forces him to retreat to his family’s Welsh castle, he realizes the only exciting thing in the dull countryside will be seeing the fiery Maddie Montgomery. Thoughts of his nemesis sustained Gryff throughout the war; but the girl he loved to tease has grown into a gorgeous, headstrong woman – who loathes him just as much as she ever did. Will secret tunnels, dangerous smugglers, and meddling from their feuding families be enough to make Maddie and Gryff realize that their animosity is really attraction...and maybe even love.

_________________________________________________

If you're looking for an enemies to lovers in the same vein as Darcy and Elizabeth, you'll probably find that this isn't quite an exact match. There's definitely witty teasing to be found, but despite the fact that Maddie and Gryff's families have been at odds for centuries, they don't exactly hold any real disdain for each other. Think of it more along the lines of the boy that tugged the pigtails of the girl that he liked.

In a way I was relieved by this, because I almost feared it was going to take on a melodramatic Romeo and Juliet sort of feel, but it never delves much past its initial genre: romantic comedy.

Thankfully this isn't a tragedy, and while I knew that there would be a happily ever after waiting for me at the end, I still worried that the melodrama of two feuding families might be a bit too much for me.

No, if anything, this family feud is much more like the Hatfields and McCoys (although certainly not quite as bloody, especially during the regency era where this is all taking place), all the way down to a supposed stolen pig which started the feud all those years ago.

This novel is charming, and takes on a tone reminiscent of Tessa Dare, I would say. There's nothing too serious about it, which is nice when you're not looking for anything that's particularly dramatic or angsty. The characters are fun, and I'm certainly interested to see what other adventures this family takes in the future. I think the second installment in the series is already out, which I'm sure I'll get to in the future.

I think a few of my only complaints would be in, one, the odd chapter lengths. They were incredibly short, usually only ranging five pages long. This in itself isn't a major issue, but it just sort of made the story feel a little disjointed at times when you're expecting a new scene in a new chapter or a different POV. With the chapters being so short, it left me wondering why some of them weren't just combined to make one longer chapter, but that's just a nitpick on my part.

And two... I know I said I didn't want anything super melodramatic, but I do wish our main characters had been fleshed out just a tiny bit more. It felt as if I was missing something about them, though I'm not sure what. I think maybe it as the fact that there was never really a moment where the focus was on any sort of past traumas or insecurities. Gryff reflects a bit about his time in the war, and the guilt he feels about leaving his friends behind when he suddenly became the new earl. Still, the surface was only just scratched there, and there wasn't even too much talk on the grief he felt about losing his father. On Maddie's part, she talks a bit about her near death experience and the literal scars that were left behind, but again, we only get a light scratch here.

Aside from that, this novel gets a few extra points for featuring a sex in one of the more unique places: a cave!

Thanks for reading this far! I've noticed that with Twitter going up in flames, a resurgence seems to be happening here on tumblr. I never left, but I did start to miss how active the romance novel community had once been on here. Let's hope we can bring it back to its heyday! Until then, happy reading!

____________________________________________________

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of death, war, and violence. Attempted blackmail, Claustrophobia (there's a cave trapped scene).

Heat Level: 3/5

[foxounderscorecube]

Crime - Irvine Welsh

4½ ⭐

CW: mentions of csa, very brief mention of substance abuse

I have read this at least once before. I think I read it when I was 18? maybe another time also? But I hadn't re-read it for some time. The first time I read it, it was in two sittings, and I had no clue if it would hold up to how much it gripped me back then.

It is, indeed, very compelling. If you've read a lot of Irvine Welsh, then it certainly isn't the most… Irvine Welsh book. A lot of his other books are a bit more playful in their narrative techniques, I think - my personal favourite being the tapeworm in Filth, probably. The parallels of Ray's history and the stuff happening in the present is well done, though.

This is also probably one of the more sanitised Welsh books that I've read, myself (which I know sounds awful given the subject matter - I just mean it's less graphic and nasty comparatively speaking). This feels like Welsh trying to write a more "normal" piece of crime fiction/thriller. That said, it's probably a mercy given that it's about, you know, child abuse. It still has his hallmarks, though - Scottish protagonist from a working-class background; drug and alcohol abuse; some light left-wing political commentary; lots of moral ambiguity.

Even if it isn't totally perfect, I am giving it a high rating anyway, because it's fantastic! It's horrible and so hard to read but it's hard to stop reading, too. I think the way that Ray, Tianna, and Les (the latter in less detail) are shown to respond to their history of CSA is fantastically portrayed. They all react differently and go different routes to deal with what happened to them. I kind of wish we saw more of Robyn because I do really like her: she is mostly used (successfully, I'd say) as an example of how somebody being abused can leave them more open to abuse later on in life.

It does seem that Welsh tried to approach the subject matter as delicately as he could, but the gentleness that's pretty uncharacteristic of his writing doesn't obscure the sheer nastiness of it all, which I really do think is admirable.

One little detail I do like is Ray's tendency to assume, in his head, that most people around him are nonces. I do think that it is, firstly, a call-out of how common it is for paedophilia to be brushed under the rug (famous examples come up sometimes, like Elvis marrying Priscilla when she was 14), but it also is to the point that even Ray acknowledges it goes to the extent of paranoia. I have a similar habit, so it just stands out to me.

I do think Trudi could have been a bit more important a character, but then a lot of her interactions with Ray are a lot more focused on how Ray is struggling to communicate properly with her and so she remains clueless as to how bad things are. She does really love him, but for a lot of the book she's a bit overly vapid, and it seems a little unfair - even if I do think some of it is a deliberate way of characterising her as easily dismissed as far more shallow than she is. Maybe I'm giving too much benefit of the doubt, but there're a few little bits of Trudi lore scattered here and there that led me to think that.

The best thing about the book is the surprisingly heartwarming relationship of Ray and Tianna as he panics and tries to get her to safety with a family friend of hers. Tianna is understandably wary, and Ray's thinking "oh god oh fuck this is a ridiculous idea this is a random child but I can't live with myself knowing more shit could happen to her" and that builds to a really lovely familial dynamic. He's Uncle Ray from Skatlin :)

Welsh books often don't come to nice happy ends, but this one does, and honestly, I'm glad. I sometimes find it kind of unsatisfying when an end is too neat, but after everything that happens? nah, Ray and Tianna and their respective friends and family need a fucking break.

This is probably one of my favourite books by one of my favourite authors. I'm glad that it held up to my recent re-read.

[sineala]

Tony Stark and Arthuriana

Coming to you by special request, a very long post about 616 Tony's interest in Arthuriana, with a focus on all of Tony's run-ins with Morgan le Fay!

I feel like I should disclaim the extent of my knowledge here, which is that I still haven't managed to read anywhere near every issue of Iron Man -- at least, not yet, anyway -- so I'm just going by the things I know I've read, and Morgan le Fay's Marvel wiki entry is frustratingly under-cited, so it's very possible I've missed something relevant, but I'm pretty sure I've got the big stuff down. My other disclaimer here is that I'm not as big an Arthurian nerd as Tony is, which is to say that most of my familiarity comes from modern retellings -- T. H. White's The Once and Future King, Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, Mary Stewart's The Crystal Cave, Rosemary Sutcliff's Sword at Sunset -- and not so much the usual classic sources on the Matter of Britain, though I've read bits and pieces of them.

(This is because I wanted to read versions of them that were as close to the original as possible but so far have not ended up finishing any of them because, well, that's hard. So I've never read the Mabinogion because I do not know Welsh. I've got the Norton Critical Edition of Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, which is probably the best student edition if you're looking for something without modernized spellings, as I was. I've also got -- well, okay, it's my wife's but I'm borrowing it -- a relatively recent Boydell & Brewer edition (ed. Reeve, tr. Wright) of Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae (History of the Kings of Britain), which is, you guessed it, in Latin with a facing English translation. I haven't gotten very far in it because, in case you didn't know this about Latin texts, the beginning is pretty much always the hardest, so I gave up and read some Plautus adaptations instead. Anyway, if for some reason you too want to read Geoffrey of Monmouth in the original Latin I'd recommend that one, but I can't recommend any particular English translations because I've never read one by itself. I bet you didn't think you'd be getting Latin prose recommendations in this post. I mean, maybe you did; it is me, after all.)

Okay. Right. King Arthur. Here we go.

We've got:

Flashbacks to Tony's childhood in late Iron Man volume 1

A brief discussion of Morgan's origin story and Avengers #187

Iron Man vol 1 #149-150: Doomquest

What If vol 1 #33: What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?

Iron Man vol 1 #249-250: Recurring Knightmare

Iron Man: Legacy of Doom #1-4

Avengers vol 3 #1-4: The Morgan Conquest

Civil War: The Confession

Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11: Time Is On No One's Side

In terms of universe-internal chronology, we know from Iron Man #287, from 1992, that Tony has been a fan of King Arthur since childhood. This is an issue of a fandom-favorite arc which features Tony having a lot of childhood flashbacks, including the famous "Stark men are made of iron" line (in #286) that for some reason MCU fandom decided it loved; I mean, seriously, I've seen that quoted in way more MCU fic than 616 fic. But slightly later, in #287, we get an entire page devoted to Tony's love of King Arthur.

The narration reads: "Over the next few years, I learned as my father intended. Discipline of body. Strength of character. But in what free time I was allowed, I worked my way through the school's library. At thirteen, I discovered Mallory [sic], who showed me a whole new world. A world of dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Of chivalry and honor. And the fantastic deeds -- of armored heroes."

The art shows Tony as a child sitting under a tree, reading a book labeled Mort D'Arthur by Mallory [sic] -- no, don't ask me why nobody at Marvel checked how to spell either the name of the book or its author -- and daydreaming of King Arthur, the Sword in the Stone, knights, et cetera. Just in case you somehow missed the extremely blatant hint that we are meant to understand that Tony's knight obsession heavily influenced him becoming Iron Man as an adult, we see one of his armors mixed in with all the drawings of knights. So, yes, canonically Tony is Iron Man at least partly because he's a giant King Arthur nerd, which I think is so very sweet. I love him. He's such a dork!

(This issue is currently in print in the Iron Man Epic Collection War Machine, should you need your own copy.)

This isn't actually the only reference to Tony as a King Arthur fanboy in this era of canon, either; a little later, in IM #298, we see that one of Tony's passwords is actually "Mallory." (Yeah, no, they still couldn't spell. But it's cute.)

But in terms of actual publication order, this is definitely not the first time we have seen in canon that Tony is into Arthuriana, as I'm sure you all know. I would assume, in fact, that giving Tony a childhood interest in Arthuriana is because Doomquest is one of the most beloved Iron Man story arcs of all time, and that all started at least a decade before IM #287 here was published.

The villain of Doomquest -- the one who isn't Doctor Doom, at least -- is Morgan le Fay. Yes, that Morgan le Fay. Yes, Arthur's evil half-sister Morgan le Fay. Yes, all of this King Arthur stuff is canonically real history on Earth-616. Morgan's first appearance in Marvel, per the wiki, was in Black Knight #1 (1955), which I have not read, and judging by the summary I feel like this is probably just supposed to be a straight-up comic retelling of Arthurian legends for kids; I don't think Marvel really had the whole Marvel Universe in mind as a concept in 1955, so I'm not sure this was meant to connect to anything else. I feel like this is another one of those instances of Marvel discovering that they can write comics about characters in the public domain for free -- like, I'm pretty sure that's how we also ended up with, like, Norse, Greek, and Roman mythology wedged into 616.

As far as I can tell from the wiki, the first time Morgan tangled with the Avengers (or indeed the larger 616 universe) in any way actually predated Doomquest -- it was in an early arc in Spider-Woman (#2-6) and then Avengers #187, which came out in 1979, actually right when Demon in a Bottle was happening over in Iron Man comics. If you read #187, Iron Man is not in it because he's off the team due to his drinking problem and also his accidentally murdering the Carnelian ambassador problem. So Wonder Man's filling in instead. This issue is part of Michelinie's rather sporadic Avengers run, which makes sense, I guess, considering where we see Morgan next.

Anyway, Avengers #187 is the classic issue where Wanda is possessed by Chthon, but what you may not remember from Chthon's backstory (I sure didn't!) is that he was summoned by Morgan le Fay because she was the first person who tried to wield the Darkhold to summon him. As you can imagine, this did not work out especially well for her and her followers and they had to seal Chthon away in Wundagore Mountain, which was where Wanda found him. (The Spider-Woman stuff is only slightly earlier and also appears to be about Morgan and the Darkhold; the Darkhold is not one of the areas of 616 canon I am especially conversant with, alas. It's on my to-read list.)

Doomquest, as you probably know, was a classic Iron Man two-parter in Layton & Michelinie's first Iron Man run that set up Tony and Doom as rivals; Doomquest itself was IM #149-150, in 1981, and then in their second IM run they came back and did a sequel in 1989, Recurring Knightmare (IM #249-250), and then the much later four-part sequel to that was the 2008 miniseries Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, which was also by Layton & Michelinie but generally does not seem to be as popular as the first two parts. They've all been reprinted, if you're looking for copies; I have a Doomquest hardcover that collects the first four issues and then a separate Legacy of Doom hardcover. Currently in the Iron Man Epic Collection line there's a volume called Doom, which confusingly only collects the 249-250 part of the storyline (as well as surrounding issues), because for some reason the first Layton & Michelinie run isn't in Epics yet but the second one is. So the beginning of Doomquest isn't currently in print, as far as I can tell. I'm sure you can find it anyway.

So what's Doomquest about? Okay, so you remember how Doctor Doom's mother's soul is stuck in hell for all eternity? Well, Doom's obviously interested in getting her back, and the strategy he has embarked on is to try to team up with other powerful magicians who can help him out, and he thinks Morgan le Fay would be a good choice, for, uh, his quest. Doom's quest. A Doomquest, if you will. (If you've ever read Doctor Strange & Doctor Doom: Triumph & Torment, you're familiar with the part where he later ends up waylaying Strange for this and they go to hell together. And if you haven't read Triumph & Torment, you really should, because it's amazing.)

So Doom is off to his time machine to go team up with Morgan le Fay and Tony thinks Doom is up to something -- Doom has been stealing components for his time machine from a lot of people, including Tony -- and he follows him and it turns out one of Doom's lackeys has a grudge and wants to trap Doom in the past forever, and Tony gets caught up in it. Now they're both in Camelot. Surprise! #149 is actually all setup; they don't get to Camelot until #150.

IM #150 begins with Doom and Tony thrown back into the past; there's a fandom-famous splash page of them locked in combat, only to realize that they have found themselves in Camelot.

They are then discovered by knights; Doom would very much like to attack them, but Tony, who naturally would be happy to LARP Camelot forever, persuades him to play nice. Also Doom thinks Iron Man is only Tony's bodyguard so he keeps referring to him as "lackey," much to Tony's annoyance. Somehow everyone thinks they're sorcerers. Can't imagine why. The knights take them to meet King Arthur himself, and Tony has clearly had his introduction all ready to go, as he introduces himself in a timeline-appropriate manner, says he's here to apprehend Doom, and demonstrates his "magic" by levitating Arthur's throne. Doom's response is essentially "I'm the king of Latveria," which is, y'know, also valid. So they're guests at Camelot for the night while Arthur figures out what to do with them.

We then have a page devoted to Tony alone in his room, musing sadly about how alien he feels, how he doesn't know if he'll ever get home, how he could never fit in here without his beloved technology. Then a Sexy Lady shows up to keep him company for the night, and he decides maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, Marvel. I guess they can't all be winners.

Doom is using his evening much more productively; he compels one of the servants to tell him where Morgan's castle is, because he's still interested in having that team-up. Then he jets off. Literally. He has a jetpack.

The next morning Arthur's like "one of you is still here and one of you has punched a hole through the castle wall and flown off to join Morgan so I guess I know which of you is more trustworthy." He then explains to Tony who Morgan is, because Tony professes ignorance, because clearly we had not yet retconned in Tony's love of Arthuriana. Tony offers to go fight Doom and Morgan with Arthur; meanwhile, Morgan and Doom have teamed up and Morgan has offered to help get Doom's mother out of hell if he commands her undead armies against Arthur because for Reasons she can't command them herself anymore. So that's a thing that happens.

So, yes, it's Tony and Arthur versus Doom and Morgan. Fight fight fight!

Tony tries Doom first but then decides to hunt Morgan down, and in the ensuing fight we get what I think is Tony's first ever "I hate magic," a complaint that we all know he still makes even to this day.

Anyway, Tony freezes a dragon with Freon (mmm, technology) and Morgan gets upset and disappears, so the battle comes to an end, and of course Doom is extremely mad at Tony because he blames Tony for Morgan not sticking around to save Doom's mom, because I guess Doom trusted her to keep her word? Weird. (Like I said, for the next chapter of Doom saving his mother, go read Triumph & Torment.)

Doom says if he and Tony work together, the components in both of their armors can send them both home. So Tony has to trust Doom. Which he does, because he really has no other choice. They build a time machine and Tony makes Doom agree to a 24-hour truce when they get back, so they can both get home. So it all works out okay, and they end up in the present, and Doom tells him, ominously, that they will meet again. Okay, then. That concludes the original Doomquest. It's fun! You can see why fandom likes it.

So that's all well and good, but you might have noticed that Tony's ability to get home hinged on Doom actually being trustworthy. And Doom was. But what if Doom hadn't been? What if he'd just stranded Tony in Camelot forever As you may have surmised from the form of that question, that is in fact a question Marvel asked themselves, because, yes, there's a What If about this! What If v1 #33 is "What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?"

The divergence point from canon, as you can probably guess, is the very end of Doomquest. Instead of Doom bringing Tony home, he deceives him and leaves him in Camelot. And since Tony cannibalized a lot of the tech from his armor to make the time machine, he doesn't have a way to go home.

This is not a story where Tony comes up with a way to go home after all. He really doesn't get to go home. But instead of drowning his sorrows in mead -- because, remember, Demon in a Bottle has already happened and Tony is sober now -- he decides he might as well just play the hand he's dealt. So with what's left of his armor, he defeats some enemies that Morgan rounds up to send against Camelot. And for his services, he's knighted. He is now Sir Anthony.

Tony acknowledges that he is both living the dream and would also like very, very much to go home.

He does end up having some fun in Camelot; it's not all miserable. But he obviously doesn't want to be there.

So if you're at all familiar with King Arthur, you know how this goes, right? Arthur fights Mordred and Mordred kills him. And that does happen in this version. Except Tony is right there, and with his dying words, Arthur asks Tony to rule Camelot... and Tony agrees.

So, yes, Tony Stark becomes king of the Britons after Arthur's death and he never goes home again. The end. Man, I love What Ifs.

Heading back to main 616 continuity, there is still more of this arc to go. The original Doomquest was only two issues, yes, but it was popular enough that Layton & Michelinie did a sequel a hundred issues later, in their second run of Iron Man, and that's Iron Man #249-250, Recurring Knightmare. (In the intervening issues were Denny O'Neil's IM run, specifically the second drinking arc (#160-200), and then Layton & Michelinie came back and most famously gave us Armor Wars (#225-232). I would have to say that Armor Wars is definitely the standout fandom-favorite arc of their second IM run; for their first one, I think a lot of people would have a hard time choosing between Doomquest and Demon.) But anyway, yes. Recurring Knightmare.

Recurring Knightmare is... well, the best way I can describe it is "a trip." It is definitely a sequel to Doomquest, and it is also definitely not a sequel you  would ever have expected to see for Doomquest.

Much like #149, #249 is pretty much just setup. Fun setup, but the big action is in the next issue. We open with Doom in Latveria, on his throne, pondering which of his servants he should have disintegrated. Anyway, he's just hanging out there when a mysterious object appears. In California, Tony is suited up and entertaining the crowd at a mall opening when the same object also appears! He takes it to his lab. Please note that this is after the Kathy Dare incident, so Tony is still recovering and is walking with a cane. Doom sees on the news that Iron Man has found the same object, which cannot be carbon-dated, and he shows up at Tony's house. He criticizes Tony's taste in art.

Anyway, Doom basically orders Tony to work with him. Tony refuses, and then Doom sends some robots to attempt to steal Tony's version of the object because he thinks if he has them both he will be powerful. Doom manages to steal it, and when he puts the pieces together, both he and Tony disappear.

So where do they go, you might ask? Camelot?

Not exactly. The future! There is a great callback to the Doomquest splash page.

It turns out they are in London in 2093. Merlin brought them there. Tony still hates magic. And in the future, King Arthur is still there, except he is now a child, because he has been reborn. But he does remember Tony from Doomquest, at which point Tony kneels. Doom, of course, is not impressed. He asks why they have been brought to the future.

The answer is that things are going wrong in the future. If you do not personally remember United States politics in the 1980s, I need you to google the words "Strategic Defense Initiative" right now. I'll wait.

Back with me? Okay, so this is a future where Reagan's Star Wars program actually happened the way he wanted it to, and the satellites are still hanging around the Earth in the future and messing everything up, and Arthur and Merlin need Tony and Doom's help to stop them. Doom once again flies away with his jetpack, of course.

Tony is game to help, but he's not in an armor that can stay in space for long. This is when Merlin takes him and Arthur to the mall and Tony manages to get everything to upgrade his armor at Radio Shack. You see what I meant about this issue being weird.

Tony is out in space trying to disarm the SDI platform, which is where he runs into his future descendant, Andros Stark, who is in armor you will probably recognize from Iron Man 2020. He is referred to as "the resurrected spawn of Iron Man 2020" so I assume he's actually directly related to Arno rather than a direct descendant of Tony; Wiki confirms that Arno is his grandfather. This is all from way before Arno was contemporaneous with Tony in canon. Anyway, he's fighting Tony.

Oh, by the way, Future Doom exists. Future Doom would like to rule this future Earth and for some reason Andros would like to help him. Meanwhile, Present Doom finds out from Merlin that he can't leave except by magic and he can't leave without Tony, so he is reluctantly on Tony's side.

They need help from the Lady of the Lake, except the lake has been paved over and is now a parking lot. Merlin makes the lake come back and then of course they get Excalibur. Arthur is a kid, so he can't wield a longsword; Doom assumes he's going to take it because he is basically a king, and he's pretty grumpy when the sword picks Tony. Tony then uses Excalibur to destroy the space lasers, and I bet that is a sentence you never thought you would read. It's pretty cool. Tony concludes that magic has its good points. Tony stops Andros and Doom stops, uh, himself, and the world is saved and they get to go home. Also, Doom finds out Tony is Iron Man, but when Merlin sends them back he conveniently erases their memories, so neither of them remember anything about this and Tony's secret is still safe. And that's the sequel to Doomquest.

And if you think that's weird, wait until you see Legacy of Doom.

Iron Man: Legacy of Doom is a four-issue miniseries from 2008, also by Layton and Michelinie. Even though it's from 2008, it's set during a much more classic time in Iron Man, continuing on from where we left off in this Doomquest saga. We start with a framing story in 2008. Tony, who has Extremis now, is busy scrapping some of his older armors and reviewing his logs when he suddenly remembers that there was a whole thing with Doom that happened that he seems to have forgotten about until right now. So the whole thing is narrated by Tony in flashback.

Tony's in space fixing a satellite when a hologram of Doom shows up and summons him to Latveria. It's not really clear why Doom needs Tony's help in particular here, but Doom tells Tony that he's discovered that Mephisto would like to bring about the end of the world, which Doom finds, and I quote, "presumptive." So Doom has his Time Cube, and with it he takes Tony to hell.

(Yes, I promise this is relevant to Doomquest. There will be some Arthuriana shortly.)

Doom brings Tony to Mephisto, and it turns out it's a setup! Doom trades Tony for an item he wants from Mephisto, leaves, and Tony's going to be trapped in hell forever! Oh no! (I mean, he's not. But it's quite a cliffhanger.)

At the beginning of issue #2, we find out what the Arthurian connection is, which is that we learned that after the events of Doomquest, Morgan had been granted sanctuary by Mephisto in exchange for a shard of Excalibur that she had somehow stolen. Doom still wants Morgan's help with some magic -- he doesn't mention what it is here, but he says he needs someone of Pendragon blood, and that'd be her -- so he traded Tony to Mephisto in exchange for, I'm guessing, Morgan and the Excalibur shard.

I have probably mentioned this elsewhere, but Legacy of Doom #2 is one of my favorite issues of Iron Man ever, solely because of the next scene. We return to Tony in hell. Howard Stark is also in hell, and he is now a demon, and Tony has to fight him. Mephisto brings popcorn and watches. This is the one time in canon when Tony actually confronts his father, and okay, yes, it's a fistfight in hell and Howard is a demon, but that's comics for you. Howard spends several pages insulting Tony -- specifically insulting his masculinity, but that's a whole other essay -- until he finally insults Maria too, and that's when Tony fights back, because his mother taught him to be good. Honestly if you're a Tony fan I'd recommend this issue just for that scene.

Anyway, we go back to the Doom and Morgan plot, and Morgan casts the spell Doom wanted, which was fusing the Excalibur shard with Doom's armor. Then Doom sends her back to Camelot rather than hell, because he's still mad that she never helped him get his mom out of hell like she said she would.

Tony freezes Howard with Freon -- yes, the same trick he pulled on the dragon back in Doomquest -- and tells him, "You're no father of mine." It is immensely satisfying.

(I had been going to mention that I thought it was a shame that neither canon nor fandom seems to have really engaged with this confrontation, and I know canon never believes in narrative closure but fandom sure does -- and then, anyway, it occurred to me that since the framing story of Tony remembering this is set when Tony has Extremis, there's a very good chance that he no longer remembers remembering it. Goddammit, Marvel.)

(If I got to retcon one canon thing about Tony, I think "the entirety of World's Most Wanted" is up there. I mean, okay, a lot of things are up there, but WMW is definitely on the shortlist.)

Okay. Tony has now engineered his way out of hell, and he's back with Doom in Latveria. Doom has Excalibur. Doom would very much like to fight him. While wielding Excalibur. You get the sense that this is going to be bad. Another cliffhanger!

Legacy of Doom #3 opens with Tony destroying Doom's lab to buy time and running away from Doom and Excalibur. I should probably mention that Doom still doesn't know Tony is Iron Man (anymore), so he thinks he is dealing only with Iron Man, Tony Stark's lackey. Meanwhile, some scientists at SI think there's something weird going on with space. Meanwhile meanwhile, Tony is in a forest taking a breather when a mysterious old man walks up to him.

It's Merlin! Surprise! Merlin wants Tony's help to stop Doom from doing whatever he's doing with Excalibur. The sword makes you invincible and the scabbard makes you invulnerable, so Merlin sends Tony to Scotland on a fetch quest for the scabbard. Doom has now magically sent the sword in search of the scabbard, so the sword flies away to meet it and Doom follows. Turns out the thing that's wrong with space is a thing that's going to hit Earth at the exact place Tony and Doom are. What a coincidence! So Tony and Doom get trapped in a stone circle and fight some stone warriors and then Tony ends up with the scabbard. And by "ends up with," I mean it fuses to his armor. Next issue!

Legacy of Doom #4 is when things really, really get weird. A giant demon made of eyes (???) appears, and this demon is apparently what Doom had been preparing to fight (because it's mad that Doom stole one of its spellbooks), and now he can't, because the sword and the scabbard aren't together. Thanks, Shellhead.

That's when Merlin shows up and says all is not lost. They can defeat the demon... if they put the sword into the scabbard.

"But I'm the scabbard now!" Tony says, uncomprehending.

"Yes," Merlin says. "You are."

Then Tony gets it.

So, yes, Doom has to, um, penetrate Tony. With Excalibur. I love comics. I love comics so much.

So that's a thing that happens.

And then Tony flies off and, I guess, resolves to never, ever think about any of this again.

We head back to the framing story, in which Tony, now having remembered all of this, flies to Britain, buys the land the lake is on, and paves it over, presumably so it will be there for Merlin to bring back in Iron Man #250. The end.

Whew.

Okay, yeah, I know I didn't have to summarize the whole thing, but Legacy of Doom here really is one of my favorite Iron Man miniseries. And I just want to share the love. Please read it. It's great.

But the Arthuriana fun doesn't end there! In fact, now we get an Arthurian-themed arc that actually isn't in Iron Man comics. It's in Avengers! Iron Man is involved, though.

(There is also apparently a Morgan arc in Avengers #240. I actually haven't read it. It seems to be yet another Spider-Woman arc. I get the impression that this isn't really Arthuriana other than having Morgan in it fighting Jess, though, so it doesn't seem quite as relevant. Morgan also apparently has some appearances in FF, Journey into Mystery, and Marvel Team-Up, but those seem like more of just basic villainy. Also, probably not involving Tony.)

Kurt Busiek's 1998 Avengers run, volume 3, is in large part the kind of Avengers run that is a nostalgic love letter to older comics. Heroes are heroes and villains are villains and good triumphs over evil. The Avengers all live in the mansion and are BFFs. I love it. It does assume that you are already a fan of the Avengers, because it starts out by summoning pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger and is available to the mansion, and that is... a lot of people. Thirty-nine, by my count. Also, when the entire team is magically whisked away, we are treated to the following narration, as Steve disappears: "And Captain America's last thought, as the world goes white around him, and he with it -- is that Iron Man would hate this."

The narration doesn't tell you why Iron Man would hate this, or how Captain America would know that Iron Man hates this. This is not explained later on. But if you have read comics -- or if you have read the above summary of Doomquest -- you know that Tony is absolutely, one hundred percent, thinking, "I hate magic." And Steve knows it.

The reference is not relevant to the plot; if you don't get it, you'll be fine. But that's what I mean when I say this is a nostalgia run. There are definitely Easter eggs for people who have read a bunch of comics. Busiek does this a whole lot in his work -- there's a reason you can buy an annotated edition of Marvels -- and, yeah, it happens here too. Just know that there will be references you're not getting, if you're new to comics.

Anyway. So Busiek's run actually starts out with an Arthurian arc, #1-4, "The Morgan Conquest." The name is a dead giveaway. Yes, Morgan le Fay is back. Again. For once, Doom is not involved.

The Avengers are all back from their sojourn on Counter-Earth after fighting Onslaught -- don't worry about it -- and mysterious things are happening. There are a lot of monster attacks. So pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger is summoned to the mansion, at which point we learn from Thor about some mystical artifacts that are being stolen. (They are the Norn Stones and also the Twilight Sword. That sounds like something from a Zelda game, doesn't it?) The Avengers go to try to stop this, end up in Tintagel, and then they run into Mordred. He wants to capture Wanda, presumably for Magic Reasons. Morgan le Fay casts a spell on all of them, reshaping reality. Yes, all of them. Surprise!

So now all the Avengers are living in a medieval castle and/or town; Morgan is their queen, and thanks to the power of mind-control they are all basically living in Ye Olden Times. The Avengers are all some variety of knight, except for Wanda, who is chained up in the dungeon so Morgan can steal her magic and use it to fuel all this reality-warping.

Wanda calls for help, and that snaps Steve (Yeoman America!) out of the mind control (or altered reality or whatever you want to call it) pretty fast, because Steve's always been very good at resisting mind control, and then Steve promptly goes and snaps Clint out of it, because I guess Steve is also good at inspiring people to snap out of mind control. "Oh, man!" Clint says. "Not another alternate reality! Not again!" (I assume he's referring to Counter-Earth? Maybe?)

So Steve and Clint go around reassembling the Avengers and orienting them as to reality. They get Jan and Monica easily, but then Steve insists on trying to get Tony because, I guess, he likes Tony and would really like to hang around Tony, who is half-naked and asleep in his bedroom, and certainly I am reading nothing whatsoever into this. Clint tells Steve it's not going to work. Tony has historically been fairly susceptible to mind control; it was only pretty recently at this point that he'd been doing Kang's bidding in The Crossing. But the more serious impediment is that this is Tony Stark and he would obviously like to LARP being a knight forever and ever. Tony, therefore, does not believe Steve, and throws him and Clint out of his bedroom and into the barracks.

"Iron Man's a good guy, normally," Clint says. "But he's waaay too into his whole nobleman/lord of the manor trip. That spell musta hit him right where he lives!"

Clint speaks the truth, clearly.

Anyway, they go around and manage to make pretty much every Avenger in the room other than Tony snap out, and attempt to rebel against Morgan while Tony is stil fighting them because he is Still A Knight. There's a lot of punching, because some of the Avengers still aren't free; they weren't ones Steve found.

The day is saved when Wanda manages to channel Wonder Man and break free. This gives the Avengers a fighting chance against Morgan and the Avengers are all lending Wanda their power when Tony finally snaps out of it and is on the side of good. 

Then they take Morgan down, go home, and attempt to figure out which of these thirty-nine people should be on the active Avengers team. Hooray.

But that's not the end of Morgan le Fay showing up to screw around with Tony's life! There's more to come! Not much, but there is one that I know of, and at least one more memorable reference. 

(I haven't read all her appearances or anything, but one of them definitely involves Tony; I can't swear that he doesn't appear in any of the other books Morgan shows up in, but it'd be a cameo for him, because I only know of one more arc that she's in in a book that Tony stars in.)

In a few more years, we have now entered the part of Marvel Comics history where Brian Michael Bendis writes all the Avengers books at the same time for, like, seven years running. It was sure A Time. There were a lot of word bubbles.

And the thing about Bendis is, Bendis looooooves Doomquest. If you're familiar with the very end of his tenure at Marvel where he made Doom be Iron Man after Tony got knocked into a coma in Civil War II, you have probably figured out already that he likes Doom. But he also likes Doomquest, specifically.

I mean, if nothing else, the giant splash page in The Confession where Maleev redrew the climactic Doomquest fight while Bendis had Tony talk about how deeply meaningful to his understanding of the world this all was -- and how it allowed him to predict Civil War -- was probably a big clue, right?

As far as I am aware, Morgan le Fay makes exactly one more appearance in Tony's life. And that's in Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11. Only one of those issues is named, so I'm going to assume the arc is named after it: Time Is On No One's Side.

You remember Mighty Avengers, right? The deal with the Avengers books at the time was that after Bendis exploded the mansion and made the team disband in Avengers Disassembled, the main Avengers book was no longer called just Avengers. Instead, the main Avengers book was New Avengers, and that was the only Avengers book. Then Civil War happened, Steve got killed, and New Avengers became the book about what was left of the SHRA resistance (i.e., Steve's side) after the war. So about halfway through New Avengers, Mighty Avengers starts up, and Mighty Avengers is about an extremely fucked-up and grief-stricken Tony Stark trying to run the official government-sanctioned Avengers team, with Carol's help. This is the comic with the arc where Tony turned into naked girl Ultron. You remember.

So, anyway, there's this Mighty Avengers arc where Doom is Up To Something (there are symbiotes and a satellite involved) and somehow Tony and the Avengers end up in Latveria, punching Doom. Also, by the way, Doom is visiting Morgan in the past because he likes her. The Avengers attacking his castle made him have to come back to the present, so he's kind of cranky. And he fights Tony, and in the course of the fight, his time platform explodes and sends Doom and Tony and also the Sentry to... the past.

This is one of those times where you should definitely look up the comics if possible because the way the past is visually indicated here is that it's colored with halftone dots the way you would expect old comics to be colored, although they have modern shading and color palettes. It's very charmingly retro.

So the three of them are stuck in New York in the past, and naturally they would like to leave. There's one person in this time who has a time machine and it is, of course, Reed Richards. Doom and Tony have a lot of banter in this arc; I think it's entertaining.

Sentry has to be the one to break them all into the Baxter Building because of that power he has where no one will remember him. So they do that, travel forward in time, and end up in Latveria in the present again except Doom is gone and also things are currently exploding where they are.

Doom, of course, has made a side trip to visit Morgan again and he asks her to help him build an army, because I guess this is what their relationship is like. So the rest of the Avengers are captured by what look to me like Mindless Ones and are in a cave in magic bondage, because comics. Jess comments that at least they aren't naked, because she too is remembering that memorable New Avengers trip to the Savage Land. Doom threatens Carol in some creepy sexist ways and eventually it turns out that Tony and the Sentry are fine and everyone kicks Doom's ass. Business as usual.

And the last page of the arc is Morgan alone, wondering where Doom is. So technically Morgan and Tony don't come face to face here, but I think she counts as being at least partially responsible for ruining Tony's day here. And then Secret Invasion happens and Tony has a very, very bad day.

There are a few more Morgan appearances after this, but, as I said, I don't think any of them involve Tony. She shows up in Dark Avengers, apparently, which was one of the post-Civil War Avengers titles I didn't read, and I know that recently, on the X-Men side of things, she's been in Tini Howard's Excalibur one, which I have only read a little of. No Tony there. Just a lot of Morgan and Betsy Braddock and Brian Braddock and the Otherworld.

If you are interested in Morgan's other appearances, you might like this Marvel listicle that is Morgan le Fay's six most malicious acts. I pulled some of the Darkhold backstory from their discussion, but it's not really focused on Morgan and Tony.

So there you have it! That's everything I know about Tony's love for King Arthur and every run-in I know about that he's had with Morgan le Fay! One of two terrible people in Tony's life named Morgan! Actually, I don't think we've seen Morgan Stark in a while. I wonder if he's alive. There should be a Morgan & Morgan team-up. I should probably stop typing and post this.

The tl;dr point is that you should all read Doomquest and its sequels, especially Legacy of Doom. They're great!

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Beyond Our Dreams | Remus Lupin x Reader Soulmate AU

Warnings: None

Time/Era: Marauders Era, Aged 19

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Remus Lupin finally gets to meet his American soulmate, Y/N, after seeing eachother every night in their dreamscape. 

Request: can you do a remus lupin x gender neutral reader soulmate au where they see each other in their dreams

A/N: I adore Remus so much. He’s such a special character to me. So, thank you for the request! Enjoy! I also attached my Remus Lupin playlist, which is full of songs that remind me of this perfect boi :) Check it out if you want! 

masterlist | my remus lupin playlist | read on ao3

The apartment they chose to meet at was always the same; it was a small room with a comfy, forest green couch, a cozy bed, a small kitchenette, and a door that led to a bathroom. It was rather plain as well, with dark red walls and a plush carpet below their feet. On one of the walls, there was a large window that overlooked a calm city. The normal hustle and bustle of city life was extinguished by a heavy downpour. 

While most people made their dreamscapes extravagant and complicated, as it is their mind after all, Remus and Y/N found comfort in the simplicity. The pair just needed a comfortable spot to talk and get to know eachother. 

“And then Lily just sort of dropped the bomb,” Remus stated, sitting on the couch opposite of Y/N. His long fingers wrapped around a white mug and he held his tea close to his body. 

“I can’t believe she’s pregnant!” Y/N had her legs crossed and a plate of chocolate chip cookies situated in her lap. “We haven’t even met yet, but people our age are already having kids.” 

Remus heartily chuckled, raising his mug to his lips and taking a sip. “It’ll happen in due time, darling. Besides, it’s nice to have you to myself without outside influences,” He coughs. “My friends skewing your views on me.” 

“I know your friends are lovely, based on how you speak so fondly of them.” Y/N took a big bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies. It was chewy and gooey, making it absolutely delicious. “Why are dream cookies so good? Like, seriously, these things are to die for.” 

“Because they’re a figment of your imagination. They can be as yummy or as disgusting as you make them to be.” Remus pulled at the collar of his gray t-shirt, making the seams rip. “Do you ever wish I was more, I don’t know, exciting?” 

“What do you mean?” Chocolate smudged on the corners of her mouth.

Remus grinned and licked his thumb, rubbing it over her delicate skin to clean her face. “I mean, our dream world is a one-bedroom apartment and all we ever do is talk. I don’t know, I hear Sirius has a rollercoaster in his dreamscape. I fell dull in comparison.” 

Y/N fondly smiled at her soulmate, moving so she was sitting directly next to him. “Rollercoasters are overrated. I like the comfort our little apartment gives us, it’s nice and warm in here and I have you next to me.” She set the cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch. “We don’t need to go on extravagant adventures, you seem to have enough of those when you’re awake.” 

“You deserve better, though. Not a guy in his late teens that is constantly tired and would rather sit on a couch drinking tea than going on a rollercoaster.” 

“I deserve you, and you are more than enough for me.” Y/N sighed, moving Remus’ hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t feel her physically, but it was still a nice gesture. “I’m not exactly itching to go on grand adventures. That’s what meeting you is for.” 

“You’re only 5,437 miles away, anyway.” Remus’ mouth twitched into a sad smile. “That’s nothing.” 

“Hey, it’s better than 5,438 miles.” 

“You got me there.” 

~

“What would you do if I came to London and surprised you?” Y/N laid her head on Remus’ thigh while he moved his hand through her hair, trying to imagine what it felt like. 

“I’d probably get rather quiet and not know what to do if I’m being honest,” Remus observed how Y/N’s locks flowed through his fingers like water and how it contrasted against the forest green upholstery of the couch. 

“Maybe let out a few cuss words?” 

“Why are you so obsessed with me cussing?” 

“Your accent is hot, especially when you say ‘fuck.’ I like to hear it.” Y/N smiled cheekily and watched Remus’ pupils dilate. 

“Fuck,” The words fall off his tongue with his Welsh accent. Much of the Welsh had faded, due to living at Hogwarts and now London, but it was still very apparent in his speech.  Y/N giggled and squirmed. 

“Yeah, like that. Sometimes you just slip it into casual conversations and I have to compose myself.” 

“Americans are weird, it’s just an accent.” 

“No, it’s not just an accent. It’s your accent so I like to hear it. Sue me!” Y/N threw her hands up in false anguish, lightly bumping Remus’ stomach. 

“You’re so dramatic, love.” 

“I am not dramatic! Just every time I compliment my favorite person in the world he says I’m weird! Maybe you’re the weird one, Lupin!” 

“Fine, I’m the weird one. Does that make you happy?” His voice sounded exasperated, but he was staring down at her with the fondest expression.

“Extremely.” 

~

“Do you think Sirius, James, and Peter would like me?” Y/N sat on the counter of the dream kitchenette. 

“They already do like you, dear.” Remus stood between her legs with his hands resting on her thighs. With her sitting so high, they were almost the same height. “Why?” 

“Well they’re important to you, and you’re important to me, so I want them to like me. It would suck if your friends hated me.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. They even have a nickname for you,” Remus looked away, his cheeks turned slightly red. This piqued Y/N’s attention. 

“A nickname? What is it?”

“Button.” Remus’ cheeks were dusted a light rose color and his ears were bright red. 

“Button? Why Button?” 

“Well, a few years ago we were all going around and describing our soulmates. I said that you were as cute as a button and I guess the name stuck.” 

Butterflies erupted in Y/N’s stomach and she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Why can’t I just apparate to you again?” 

“We talked about this, love. You’ve never been here and I’ve never been there so you can’t apparate straight here. And the plane ride between us is almost 11 hours.” 

“Fucking hell.” Y/N sighed in frustration. 

“Fucking hell, indeed.” 

~

“I did something, and you have to promise not to be mad at me.” Y/N paced around the kitchenette while Remus lounged on the couch. His head shot up at her words. 

“What did you do?” His mind raced a mile a minute and he prepared himself for the worst. Y/N probably found someone better than him and wanted to cut off contact. 

“It’s nothing bad, relax.” 

“Well if it’s not bad, why would I be mad?” Y/N sighed and sat next to him on the couch. 

“Well, in the real world I’m sort of on a plane to London right now.” 

Remus’ eyes bulged and he jumped off the couch. “You’re coming? Here? Really? Now?” 

“Well, I’ll be there in about four hours.” Remus was now pacing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! Mine and Sirius’ flat is a wreck!” 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to back out for a silly reason like a messy apartment.” Y/N stood and reached for her boy. “I love you and I couldn’t wait any longer.” 

“Four hours?” 

“Yes, four hours.And I need a ride from the airport.” 

~

Y/N stood atop the escalator and looked at the crowd below, scanning all the faces for her love. Her face crinkled when she didn’t see Remus but two young men holding a piece of cardboard with her name written in black marker on it. She realized that the two were, in fact, James Potter and Sirius Black. 

“Sirius and James?” She said walking up, suitcase in hand. Both were much taller than Y/N and extremely handsome, making her feel slightly uncomfortable under their gaze. Both young men grinned down at her. 

“Ah, you must be Button. Nice to know Remus talks about us enough for you to recognize our handsome faces,” Sirius exclaims, putting the cardboard under his arm and nudging James. “You’re even prettier than Rem described.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Well, you aren’t exactly hard to miss. Long hair, leather jacket, combat boots, overly flirty,” Y/N turns to James. “Glasses, The Beatles shirt, tired expression. Obviously, you’re James Potter and Sirius Black.” She smiles and pulls her hair behind her ear. “Congrats on the baby, by the way.” 

James beams, “Thanks! Kinda crazy considering the circumstances, but you know how it goes.” He takes Y/N’s luggage and starts walking towards the exit. “You threw Moony into quite a panic, you know. It was one of the best things I’ve seen in a while.” 

“It had to be done, he’s been putting it off for years. Something about not wanting me to be disappointed, whatever that means.” 

“Ah, classic moons. Glad you came though, really shakes up our daily schedule.” Sirius responds. The three make their way to a Volkswagon Beetle and James pops the trunk to put Y/N’s luggage inside. 

“Why didn’t he come and get me? Not that I mind the company, of course.” Sirius crawls into the back middle seat, leaving Y/N to sit shotgun with James driving. “Woah, I forgot it’s on the wrong side.”

“He pussied out, I’m sure you know how nervous he gets,” James pulled out onto the street and down the road. “And what’s on the wrong side?” 

“Your car and the road, James. It’s on the wrong side.” 

“It’s not on the wrong side, maybe you’re on the wrong side. Ever think of that?” He turned his head to look at her, the thick frame glasses on his face sliding down his nose. 

“See! You agree! I am currently on the wrong side!” Y/N giggled and hugged her backpack to her chest. 

Sirius also lets out a loud, bellowing laugh. Y/N felt as though she had known these two her entire life; in a way, she had. 

The three pulled into a parking structure and she exited the beetle. (The car, she had come to discover, was named Lennon, after John Lennon himself.) She hadn’t been nervous up until this moment, staring at the apartment door. James patted her shoulder and smiled. 

“It’ll be okay. He’s the same Remus you’ve been talking to for the past however many years.” 

“Yeah, if you even get him to talk,” Sirius pushes his way between the two and towards the door, lugging Y/N’s bag into the flat. He drops the luggage in the middle of the living room and flops onto the couch. “Oh, Moonbear, your lover is here! Get your fine ass out of your room, before I take it out here myself!” 

Y/N cautiously pads into the house, taking in the atmosphere of the home. It was very similar to their dreamscape, very small and sparsely decorated. However, the flat seemed to have 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, as well as a few closets. The livingroom had various framed band posters hanging on the walls, as well as a big framed picture of the entire friend group. Y/N could point out who was who easily as she observed it. 

“Lily is so pretty,” She said aloud and pointed between two blondes. “Which one is Marlene and which one is Mary?” 

Sirius and James look at eachother and share a laugh. “Merlin, he really does talk about us.” James points at the girl with the big, poofy hair. “That one’s Marls, the other is Mary.” 

“Makes sense, since I’m assuming that’s Dorcas?” Y/N’s gaze moves from the blonde to a pretty brunette next to her. 

“Oi, Moons, I didn’t realize you spoke about us so much,” James says, making Y/N turn around. In all his glory, Remus Lupin stood in the living room, decked out in jeans, and a The Smiths shirt. He was perfectly imperfect, and Y/N’s entire body warmed. His gaze didn’t leave Y/N as James spoke but he allowed his jaw to grow slightly slack and his hands to pull his shirt down. 

“You’re even more beautiful in person, how is that possible?” His voice was breathy and light as if he was in complete awe. The light from the windows highlighted his cheekbones and made his features look unbelievably sharp, creating shadows that danced down his neck. He looked heavenly in absolutely every way possible, and this moment made her entire travel day worth it. Y/N blushed and stepped towards him. 

“Nice shirt, missed you at the airport, though.” 

Remus rolls his eyes and pulls his girl close to him. “Sorry ‘bout that, sunshine.” 

Y/N nestled her face into his chest, taking deep breaths of his cologne. He was even better than she expected, all the way down to the wool socks he wore. Remus’ hand came to gently stroke her hair before looking up to see his friends. Unsurprisingly, though, the living room was now empty and Sirius’ bedroom door was closed. 

“You smell so good, is that weird to say?” Y/N mumbles into the fabric of his shirt. “Like pine, and candy. I don’t know how to describe it.” She felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” 

“Had’ta be sneaky, catch you off guard.” Y/N looked up into his eyes and glanced down to his lips. 

The soft look of admiration she had seen so many times crossed his features as he leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. 

[rosella-writes]

writing tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @noire-pandora, @kittynomsdeplume, @melisusthewee and @emerald-amidst-gold <3

Whoooo boy, here we go.

How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but quite a few are just one-shots. I only have a couple long-fics, mostly because my poor ADHD brain is cruel to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

190,052, but if I hadn't orphaned my old (and embarrassing) Skyrim and Sherlock fanfics it'd probably be closer to 300,000.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

honey just put your sweet lips on my lips - 579

i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted - 56

a fuller feeling (a brighter burst) - 54

Eunoia - 40

i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you (fuel the pyre of your enemies) - 39

(And to be perfectly honest, my most popular fic is by far my worst. I spend so much more time carefully crafting for Eunoia than I do anything else, but the little following it's picked up has made it worth more to me than all the kudos and comments on "honey.")

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I used to be terrible about it, mostly because the vast majority of comments I once got was hate (I wrote for a weirdly unpopular wlw pairing). Now I make it a point to respond to every single one when I can, even the short ones, to thank them for taking the time. It means so much.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It was a drabble for the r/dragonage writing thread, actually! The premise was a font in the Black Emporium that would show your OC the outcome of a decision made differently. I wrote Eliana Lavellan from Eunoia discovering what would have happened if she'd fought with Solas in Crestwood until he told her the truth... and its outcome was worse than the timeline where he left her and kept his secret. You can read it here (it's about 1200 words, nice and short).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My various Solavellan pairings don't get happy endings. Evelyn Lavellan was more of a narrative tool to explore Solas with, so her ending was cut short. Eliana doesn't have her ending yet, but it will be bitter and painful. My happiest ending was for my Bella/Rosalie pairing for Twilight - Bella became a vampire and lived happily ever after with her wife.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, unfortunately! Since my days on tumblr and FFNet, S*perWh*L*ck left a terrible taste in my mouth when it came to crossovers. I'd be open to it one day if I can find fandoms chill enough.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

As I previously mentioned, yes. In my Bella/Rosalie fic, I made it a point for Rosalie to love all the parts of Bella that weren't conventionally beautiful. My Bella is also a dark-skinned black woman, and the intersection of racism, colorism, and misogyny where it concerns attractiveness was something I thought worth including because I didn't see enough of it in fic. I wanted to highlight all the things that don't get enough attention or are actively reviled, like hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, natural hair, soft bellies, areolas and vulvas that aren't perfectly symmetrical or small, pubic hair and armpit hair and little hairs around nipples - things that I love about AFAB people! I got a lot of comments on my smut chapters calling Bella disgusting, or me nasty for choosing to include those traits. I deleted every single one.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So much. I love exploring pairings or power dynamics that people wouldn't necessarily consider, like a strong female warrior Lavellan domming Solas, or Solas topping Blackwall. I wanted to show a black woman in an interracial relationship with a white woman where she got to be soft and loved gently, where she got to be quiet, bookish, and looked after instead of expected to be the loud, strong stereotype that we pin black women into. I wanted to show the power of masculinity in an elven mage who loves a warrior woman (Solas/Cass), or the nurturing side of domming in a relationship between a pan giant and a bisexual elf (Iron Bull/Solas).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, tbh. I turn up to fandoms a decade late, so usually by the time I get any traction the fic-stealers have done their dirty work and leave me alone.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't! I hope to one day write a fic in Greek for my best friend, though. They deserve to read about Solas in their mother-tongue.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but have done some plotting with aforesaid Greek friend.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, absolutely. Any variation, honestly - I've loved m!Solavellan, f!Solavellan, as well as any variation including nonbinary, trans, or other interpretation of the relationship. Solas sees and loves the spirit, and I love the idea that its vessel doesn't matter so much to him. I headcanon him as a he/him agender bisexual, for what it's worth.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've technically marked i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted as complete, but it cuts off right before Adamant and was intended to be a full Solavellan story. However, I just didn't care for my rogue f!Lavellan OC very much, and didn't think she matched Solas well. I developed an OC that I enjoyed writing much better and rolled with it. So, I'm sorry Evelyn Lavellan, but your story is frozen with the two of you happy in bed. Solas will never break up with her so long as I don't write that part, right?

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue and crafting character voices! Getting a comment that I've managed to portray a favorite character so well that they can hear their voice in their head as they read? Priceless.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition vs description. I want to show instead of tell, but developing the right environment for a scene can be tough for me. It's so much easier to write that the characters are cold and the ground is wet than to wax poetic about dripping leaves and frosty air. But I'm working on it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm obsessed with it. I love little bits sprinkled through that make sense with context, and culturally speaking it would feel wrong not to sometimes! I'm also the type of person that's always been obsessed with languages, and instead of becoming fluent in one I've learned a smattering of a whole lot. So any opportunity to sneak in some French, Welsh, German when it makes sense? I'm taking it. And don't even get me started on Elvhen or Qunlat because I will sprinkle that shit like biodegradable glitter.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Okay I'm gonna flout this question and just write my fandoms in order:

Sherlock (circa 2010 - 2014)

Skyrim (2016)

Twilight (obsessed from 2005 - 2010 but didn't write for it until 2019 or 2020 when Midnight Sun released)

Dragon Age (March 2021 and easily the most fanfic I've ever written ever)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite one to write was probably i'd wanna be felled by you, but my favorite to reread is Eunoia. It's most likely the most honest, least presumptuous thing I've ever written, and it's easily the longest thing I've ever attempted. I'm very proud of it.

As far as tagging goes, I've been very rude lately with it by tagging people late in the day, or tagging folks that I haven't tagged before, and am still refiguring out tumblr etiquette (since I haven't been here since the days of the skeleton war and the Mishapocalypse lmao), so presume if you see this you're tagged to participate. With no expectations nor pressure, though, I'll tag @dreadfutures, @varric-tethras-editor and @blarfkey if they'd like. <3

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T. Shelby Imagine Ch. 13

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 5,851

WARNINGS: ANGST, HEAVY ANGST, Alcohol Consumption, Cursing, Recreational Drug Use, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, Mentions of SMUT (doesn’t concern any of the main characters)

Summary: Aliena Welsh hasn’t gotten any better. Her mental health is in the dumps and she’s coping with alcohol and drugs. How will she recover?

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 14

A/N: THERE IS A SCENE OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. YOU READ ALL OF HER THOUGHTS LEADING UP TO THIS POINT & I DO BELIEVE IT TO BE VERY TRIGGERING!! THERE WILL BE BLACK LINE BREAKS TO START THE SCENE. Not a whole lot of Tommy in this one.

That night on me birthday, I blacked out. Couldn’t remember a thing, but I do remember feeling like shit the next morning. Not just from the raging hangover, but emotionally as well. I’ve never truly understood how fuckin’ shitty it is to wake up with no fuckin’ memories of the night before.

But now I did!

The days after I attempted to cut down me drinking as suggested by Polly. I kept to it as much as I could, but I just turned to other vices when we went out. Instead of drinking, I was getting high. Same effect really except I was more affectionate than ever and wasn’t getting weepy. 

Problem with weed? It made me sexually aroused a.k.a. horny. I started dancing with strangers. Men and women. I was truly not giving one flying fuck. 

And it was scaring me.

I managed to get past the whole debacle of me assaulting that woman at the Garrison. Talked to Polly abar it, ya know, some of me troubles. Really made some headway. She started wanting me to work in the shop more. 

Couldn’t tell ya why, though.

I didn’t mind, it kept me busy for a while. That was ‘til Polly told me she didn’t need me in the shop for sometime. So, now— I was stuck collecting money every fortnight, cleaning the house, cooking, and be an all-round delivery girl. 

Have you ever heard of the saying, “High highs are followed by low lows.” Let me tell you abar the low blow I was dealt. I caught Tommy banging Lizzie. 

Drop the mic!

Yeah! I caught the first love of me life having sex with a prostitute. Not knocking her down, a girl has to earn her coin somehow. It was the fact that Tom was paying for sex that got me. He would rather pay than use me. 

Let me tell you the number that did on me self-esteem. I didn't want to make it matter, but it did. It was irrational, in a way. I knew that. It was just that I was so hung up on him and I couldn't find it in meself to let go of him, yet. It was absolutely pathetic. I realize that, but I was also used to it. Used to the ones that I want not wanting me.

Oh well! I mean I wasn’t obsessing over it, but it did hurt me heart, is all. It also served as a turning point for me. Now, I wasn’t just dancing with random fellas— I was making out with them too. 

Kissing didn’t matter to me anymore. Ever since me first kiss was stolen by that bastard two years ago, or so.

I didn’t let it go any further. I was just making out with them. Men and women. Anyone who would have me. 

I was laying in me bed. I didn’t feel like leaving it. So, I didn’t. I kept me eyes shut and was getting lost in me own world. I fantasized abar being back with me family. That I had woken up in de’ ozzy from a coma ‘n I made all of this up.

“Aliena, love. You need to get up now.” Polly whispered as she shook me gently.

I opened me eyes and blinked. I faked waking up for the first time today. I hummed. 

“Come on, love.” She urged while uncovering me and taking me hand.

With our hands joined, I turned ‘round and rose to me feet. She took me head in her grasp before using the back of the head to check me temperature.

She tutted. “You don’t have a fever. Do you feel sick, Ali?”

I nodded, lying. She sighed and pulled me into her chest. I hugged her tightly while whimpering. It was better this way.

We stayed that way for a while before she pulled away. Me face in her hands again. “How ‘bout I make ya some soup? You go on back to bed and I call you when it’s done. Yeah?”

I nodded with a small smile. She led me back to me bed and tucked me in. I said nothing as the tears streamed down me face. When she left, I closed me eyes again. 

I’m so tired.

When the soup was ready, she got me up as promised and helped me down. I was acting and not at the same time. I was just showing how I really felt. I knew tomorrow I would have to bottle it all up again. 

It was just that I already used up all me rest days just laying around, so this was a better cover. 

She sat with me as I slowly nibbled away at the soup she made me. I didn’t care for it. I wanted me ma’s chicken soup. We made small chat ‘til I was done and I was sent back to bed afterward. 

I laid there doing nothing ‘til I felt like I was going stir crazy. I leaped from me bed and pulled out me journal that was full of me writings. Only once I had the pen in me hand, I couldn’t think of anything.

I threw it down and ran me hands over me face. I began doin’ some heavy breathing before I took a deep breath and just suppressed it. I just suppressed it ‘cause I felt like I was being overdramatic.

I do so much complaining. I should be grateful. I should be grateful for what I have. Why was I so miserable? 

Because I wasn’t in a relationship with Tommy, don’t make me laugh! He’s just one man.

 Is it because I’m not with me family? Come on, after all that wishing to experience something more exciting in me life!

 Fucking kinel! I was lucky enough to be found by Jeremiah and not be chucked into some mental asylum or in a prison cell for being suspicious. For not having to sell me own body in order to make ends meet. No, nothing has changed. I’m still that sheltered little girl who is just so ungrateful.

I inhaled sharply and gripped me hair tightly. 

Just so greedy. Just so lustful. So fuckin’ ungrateful.

“No!” I shouted before I slapped meself. The stinging sensation overwhelmed me and balanced me. I swallowed harshly before racking me head for a song. 

I sang ‘Empty’ by Olivia O’Brien to meself. I sang a million of other depressing songs ‘til me head ached. Then, I sat there. Just sat there. Letting the stories that ran through me mind play out there since I couldn’t write them.

But even they weren’t bringing me joy. Awful scenarios triumphed the love stories I was trying to conjure. They would just turn sour with infidelity, broken promises, and death. 

I placed me bent elbows on me desk and used me hands to support me head. I closed me eyes as a way to fight the burning in me eyes. 

As soon as I woke up, I choked down a sigh. I just turned on me back and ran a hand threw me hair. After a second or two, I got up and began getting ready for the day. For the past couple of days, I’ve been waking up with anxiety. I haven’t felt this way since being in school. 

College was different. I had more freedoms, but years six through eleven— they were absolute hell for me. It just triggered me anxiety disorders, especially me agoraphobia. 

I looked at meself in the mirror and saw a dead woman. I placed me fingers under me eyes, tugged down, and then let go. I took a sharp breath before I opened the door and walked out.

I was finding it harder to breathe these days. Like if me asthma was back, or gotten worse. Which would be totally plausible since I have been smoking ciggies now. Still pace meself, though. 

I had me hair in a bun, some hairs framing me face. I was wearing a light purple button up shirt with a darker purple, high-waisted midi skirt. 

I walked down and cut me two slices of bread. I was gonna eat me regular bread and jam. I sat down ‘n ate it. When I was done, I began to clean up again. The same old routine. Sweep, dust, fold, sew, shine, or wash.

I was in the middle of fixing one of Finn’s shirts when he walked in, panting. His lips smacked before he spoke. “Tom-Tommy wants to see you.”

“What is it, Finn?” I asked while rising to me feet. What the fuck’s happened? “What’s happened?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was out with Isaiah, came in and he told me he wanted me to get you.”

I let out a sigh of relief before annoyance took over me. I shoved his head away from me. “Dear lord, Finn. I thought something bad happened! Ugh!” I walked past him and into the shop.

The chatter of men overwhelmed me senses. I marched over to Tommy’s office and knocked before going in. 

“Finn said you needed me.” I stood up straight with me shoulder rolled back. Me fingers were interlocked and resting at me waist.

Thomas nodded as he took a drag from his ciggie. “I need you to deliver this to Moss.” He looked up as he held up the package for me to take. 

It was probably hush money to distribute, or his own allowance to keep him quiet, or something else.

I blinked furiously as I stepped forward and attempted to take the package from his hand. 

Okay, the fuck is happening?

Tommy kept looking at me up and down and wouldn’t let go of the package. I cleared me throat and he let go instantly. 

“Right. I need you to give that to him as soon as possible. So, it’s best if you go now.” He looked away from me and back down at his paperwork.

“Right.” I repeated softly before turning ‘round. As I stood in the doorway, I held onto the wall and snapped me head to Tommy.

“Tommy.” 

He looked up, his eyes wide. “Yeah?”

I thought abar it. I wanted to ask what that was all abar. I cleared me throat before gulping and shake me head. “Nevermind. Have a good rest of your day, Tom.” 

I didn’t wait to hear a response. I practically ran out of there. I got me coat and then out the door. The cold air stung me face, but I welcomed it. After all, that interaction got me all warm inside. 

I didn’t want to think abar it too hard. I had negative and positive thoughts. Maybe he thought I looked nice, but at the same time— maybe he saw what I’ve been hiding too. I remembered abar that promise we made on December 3rd. Abar how I would go to him if me depression was getting bad, but—! I didn’t sit right with me. How could I complain abar all of me problems when he was unknowingly one of them?

I sighed and clutched the package tighter. Men and women alike greeted me as I passed. After the bar “fight,” some stares and greetings changed. I didn’t care.

Why should I? They probably bunched me in with the rest of the Blinders, now. Might call me a devil too, now.

I huffed. Well, as long as they kept their thoughts to themselves. A bizzy held open the door for me, so I flashed them a nod ‘n smile. I walked through the building ‘n ignored the stares. I walked over to Moss’s office and knocked. 

“Come in.” He shouted.

 I opened the door and walked in. Moss, instantly, sat up straight.

“Ms. Welsh.” He began. “What can I do for ya?”

With the package still in one hand, I thrusted it forward, bouncing it a little. “Mr. Shelby has a delivery for you.”

He ah-ed, rose from his seat, and took it. “Thank you. Miss. My wife was just saying the other day how she missed your company. She’d be very pleased if you visited her soon.”

I smiled and nodded. “Oh, well, I’ll make sure to stop by soon. Good afternoon, Sergeant Moss.” I nodded again and turned ‘round.

I felt the stares and heard the whispers as I walked. As walked out of the station, as I walked home. 

I shook me head as I raised me fingers to me head. Whispers, gossip, chisme. It was all so fucking annoying. Me days were blending together. Day in and day out, I was just lethargic. Having to force meself to do all this stuff was so tiring. 

But what else am I going to do? I’m so useless.

I was letting the music in me head envelope me. With me hands, I moved me hair to the side as I danced. I was hot. Like feverishly hot, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t thinking abar anything but dancing. 

I felt someone take their hands in mine, so I opened me eyes. Cassie was in front of me.

“Dance with me.” She yelled before she started doing the Charleston. 

I giggled and then began to do it with her. For this type of dancing, I had to tune in on the club music. The club we were at right now was owned by Sabini. Luckily, no one knew me face. Otherwise, we might have been kicked out or worse. 

Well, actually, since there was no bad blood yet… I might’ve just been used as a tool for some sort of deal. Ya know, a messenger or something.

When I felt tired, I gulped for air and stopped dancing. As did Cassie. We walked into each other. Why do we fucking wear heels all the damn time? I want me trainers back!

“Let’s go back to the table, yeah.” I announced more than asked. I led Cassie back to the table where Angie and Tina were sitting with men.

I rolled me eyes. Here we fuckin’ go. “Angie!” I shouted. “We’re back. You can hit the floor if ya want.” Angie’s eyes snapped to Tina, excitement all over her face. Tina’s facial expression spoke volumes, “She didn’t want to leave the table.” But she gave a sheepish smile, and nodded instead.

“Thanks, Ali.” She said to me before looking down at her new friend. “You want to dance with me?” She asked him to which he happily took her hand. Then, the four of them were gone.

I let out a sigh of relief and sat down with me legs open. 

Cassie snorted. “You’re so ungraceful.”

I tsked while waving her off. “Do one. I’m tired.” I reached for me glass of water. I wasn’t gonna be drinking alcohol for a while. However, I did reach into me bag and took out a rolled joint along with me lighter.

I lit it up and took a puff. I held it for as long as I could before exhaling. This wasn’t wise. I’ve already smoke so much, but I didn’t want to come down from me high— so, I was lightin’ up again. 

“You got cards?” I asked before exhaling another puff. 

Cassie shook two fingers as she replied. “Yeah, in my purse.” 

I passed her the joint. Probably shouldn’t have since she was drinking too, but fuck it! She was a grown woman.

I sniffed and wiped me nose. Cassie took out the cards with one hand before getting frustrated since she couldn’t get them open. She passed me back the joint before taking one last puff. I took it as a chance to take another drag.

Cassie got the cards out and began to shuffle them. “So, what game are we playing?” 

I shrugged. “Want to play Go Fish?”

Cassie chuckled while meeting me gaze. “That’s your favorite game, isn’t it.”

I shrugged again, exhaling while stubbing out the joint. “Easiest to play. That’s all.” So, that’s what we did ‘til I found meself getting more ‘n more sluggish. I felt the imaginary hand squeeze me heart as much as it was racing. That sense of dread better known as a cold sweat. 

Before I knew it, I passed out. 

When I came too, I felt a cold towel on me forehead. Slowly, I reached for it and dragged it off me face. I moaned as I sat up straight in me chair. I looked to me right to see Cassie chatting up some guy. 

My moan caught her attention. 

“Oh, good, you woke up, Ali. You smoked too much weed again. I got you a towel from the bar while you were passed out. Just stay there for a while. This is Henry.” Cassie motioned to Harry who greeted me.

Through squinted eyes, I nodded at him and gave him a little wave. I turned me attention back on the wet towel. I placed it back on me forehead and just looked ‘round. People were dancing, sitting and having a chat, and others were just drinking. Well, okay. I didn’t want to pay attention to it, but there were people having sex ‘n doing a whole bunch of exhibitionist acts.

I stifled a laugh at meself while covering me mouth. I swear this place is always a madhouse, but it was very freeing too. People were just free here. It made me feel like I fit in. 

The bad thing abar sitting down by yourself when you’re high, for me, is that I start thinking. Thinking while high isn’t good. ‘Cause what you find out is that you don’t feel pain all that much. If you catch my drift.

I sighed. The same thoughts that’s been haunting me kept repeating in me head. The same stuff as always. 

Why was I here? What was my purpose? What was I going to do with my life now? ‘Cause honestly, I was a 22-year-old Hispanic English-American, who was working on her first book as well as beginning the process of having a baby. I was going to have a baby.

And now, I’m here. Getting high and drinking meself ‘til I blacked out. I was having anxiety attacks under the same roof of the man I’ve been obsessing over since 2013!

My whole life plan was fucked. I’m stuck in the 1920s where Women’s rights are not the highest priority. Fuck, my children are probably gonna be put through the second world war.

I sighed loudly as I pinched me nose and started bouncing me leg. I let the towel fall off me head and onto the table. I picked up back up and started wiping me neck with it.

I miss my family and friends. I want the comfort of being in my own home back. The feeling of security. I knew that no matter what my family would be there for me always. But here, here everything was conditional. Everything came at a price. 

Doesn’t it? 

I mean, yeah, it does. 

I stopped wiping and got up. Me chair scraped loudly against the floor. I got up too quickly. Me vision went black and I had to sit down again. I stifled the moans that wanted to escape me mouth out of embarrassment and pride. 

When me vision cleared, I got up again. Slower this time. Then, I began to make my way over to the bar. 

“Oi!” I shouted. The bartender looked toward my direction. I raised the towel and he walked over to me. “I wanted to give this back. Don’t need it anymore. Thanks.”

He took it from me hand while nodding. “No problem, miss.”

I nodded while taping the bar top rhythmically before turning ‘round and walked back to the table. 

I have no idea what time it is. I don’t care. I fucked up. I groaned and doubled over. 

“Get the fuck up, Ali.” Cassie slurred. 

“Do one, slag.” I replied while trying to push her away.

She tsked. “You fuckin’ first. We’re almost at your stupid house.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Bitch.”

“No you.”

We glared at each other before busting out laughing. I started kicking me feet.

“I’m gonna piss meself!” I shouted. “I’m gonna-! I’m gonna piss meself!”

Cassie cackled even harder while clutching me arm with a death grip. I said “ow,” very childishly as I tried to pry her grip off me.

Anyway, I drank. I stupidly drank and was also high. I can’t describe the feeling except that I am extremely tired and numb. 

I slumped to the side and tried holding me head up, but failed. I groaned loudly as me head slipped from me hand. I shot back up and held my stomach. I felt like I was gonna be sick.

I pried open the window and stuck out me head.

“Get in, you dummy.” Cassie shouted as she tried to claw me back inside. Her nails only leaving a little bit of sting. It was enough for me to register that she was doing it.

I breathed slowly and deeply. I tried making the cold wind sober me up. But then the clawing got annoying, so I shook off the heel of my left foot and used it to push her away.

I could faintly hear her groan. Should’ve known that wouldn’t have stopped her. She started pulling on me leg. I rolled me eyes and got back into the car.

“I was trying to feel better, Cass!” I shouted in face. 

She pouted angrily, like a child, before burying her face in me breasts. I sighed and started stroking her hair. I did it for so long that I didn’t even realize we had made it to me house. 

“Ms. Welsh, we’ve arrived.” Simmons repeated. 

“Huh? Oh, okay.” I looked ‘round the car ‘n saw that everyone was passed out. I loudly stifled me laughter. “Simmons, they, uh.”

“I know, Ms. Welsh. I can take care of it.” He smiled at me through the rear-view mirror. 

I trusted him as much as Cassie trusted him. He came with her and her father from America. He’s been with their family for a long time. 

So, I nodded and slipped out from under Cassie slowly. I opened the car door with the same pace and then stumbled out. I was flailing abar like fucking Bambi! I gasped when I was able to balance meself. I took a deep breath and then tapped on the hood of the car.

“Thank you, Simmons.” 

“You’re welcome, Ms. Welsh. Goodnight.”

“You too.” I said before giving him a salute and turning ‘round. I trudged over to the door and shifted through me purse for the keys. I groaned impatiently when I couldn’t find them right away.

Once I did, I cheered and unlocked the door. I stumbled through, me heels clacking against the floor. As I was taking off me coat, I noticed a coat that’s not often there. Along with a very familiar shoulder holster. 

A whisper escaped my lips as me fingertips carefully touched the items. “Tommy.” 

I slowly walked into the living room and saw that there was a fire lit along with a glass on the table. I walked even slower toward the couch, me heart in me throat. I looked over it and sure enough, he was sleeping on the couch.

I smiled with scoff. I, immediately, turned ‘round and slowly went upstairs. I didn’t want to disturb his sleep. Hardly gets any as it is.

As I closed my door, I let out a sigh of relief. I looked down and cured. “Fuck! I forgot to hang up me coat.” I tsked and ripped it off me. I threw it on me chair. I crossed me arms and took off my dress. I had to fight with it a little, though. I left it on the floor and walked to my closet.

I took out my matching white nightgown and robe. I put them both on. I tied the robe tightly around me stomach and then began taking the pins out of me hair. I trudged over to my desk and threw them on there.

I shook out me hair and finally looked at meself in the mirror. I smiled at meself softly. If there was something I was absolutely confident abar meself, it was me hair. I smiled again before looking down and getting the stuff I needed to take off all this makeup. 

Once I was done, I walked over to me bed and sat down on it. I wasn’t tired anymore. So, I just sat there. I shuffled over the window and just looked. I would strain me eyes so much that black dots would appear and I would frighten meself.

What am I doing here? Why am I here? How is ma and papa doing? Are they grieving over me? How abar me friends? Did they know I was gone? Did anyone? Was this real? This is real, right?

Calm down, Aliena. That’s not your name. I took a deep breath. That’s not your name! You are not 18-years-old. Why is your body like this? Why can I do things that I couldn’t do before?

I raised me hand to me head.

What am I doing? How long am I going to wait for Tommy to look at me? How long am I going to stay with this family? Should I just move in with Cassie? No, no that’s wrong.

No, this is wrong.

Stop being so irrational. You’re just feeling depressed, right now. You’ll get over this soon. You’re overreacting. 

But what if I’m not?

When Grace comes back, will Tommy still sleep with her? Does he love her as intensely as he did on the show? 

Why would you think anything else? Well, we used to be close. Used to be! He made it clear many nights ago that you were to be married to someone else. He doesn’t like you like that!

I whimpered and gripped me head tighter. Me feet going back and forth on the bed, messing up my blankets.

Even if he did, you’re too insecure. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you’d be worried. Worried every time he left that door. Every time he had a far off thought. “Are you thinking of her?” You’d think. “Did you cheat on me?” You ask. “If you ever cheat on me, I’ll kill you.” You’d threaten.

Toxic, toxic, toxic.

Should I try to go back?

My eyes shot open and I gasped. 

Should I try to go back? Maybe this is all a very complicated dream. If I die, then maybe I’ll wake up in my room at home. I see me ma’ sitting in the living room with her dogs. Papa would be in his room working or with her in the living room. I’d see my baby niece. 

I gulped. I put down me hands and noticed they were shaking.

Things here aren’t that great. I’m not close to Tommy anymore. I’m depressed and I can’t recall most days. I’m drinking meself half to death. I should just…

I looked at the door with wide eyes. I felt tears sting me eyes. I took a shuddering breath and slowly, me feet touched the floor. I gasped and a tear fell from me eye. I walked toward me door and slowly opened it.

I savored every creak of the door. When I deemed that I opened it enough to slip through, I stopped and did just that. I twirled ‘round and closed it with just as much care. I walked past Tommy’s door with ease since he was downstairs. 

I was at the top of the stairs when it hit me.

Should I leave a note?

I raised me hand to my mouth and nibbled on my fingernail. I shook me head, deciding against it. 

I went down the stairs, one step at a time. Each more daunting than the last. I didn’t want to risk waking up Thomas. When I got to the last step, I let out a shuddering sigh of relief.

I tiptoed across the room all the way to the door. I went to get me coat and mentally cursed meself.

I left it upstairs. 

I looked back at the stairs. My face contorted in discomfort. I looked back at the rack and stared at Tommy’s coat and shoulder holster. I then shifted my gaze to the couch where he laid.

I took a deep breathe and raised me hands at a snail’s pace. I took the holster into me hands and carefully lifted it up. I put it on with little difficulty. I thought I would have trouble since I saw Tommy having some from time to time. 

The holster was empty. I knew it would be. I took a deep breath and tip-toed over to where Tommy laid. There on the little table was the gun. I held me breath as I walked closer. 

I was in front of him now. I couldn’t stare. He would feel it. ‘Cause of the war. I reach down and quickly snatched the gun. I didn’t waste a second as I quickly walked back to his coat. With the gun clenched tightly in me hand, I exhaled as silently as I could. Me mouth opened wide as I slowly let the breath out.

When I didn’t see his head pop up, I swallowed me worries. I placed the gun in the holster and then hurriedly put on the coat. 

It was so big on me. Me hands were lost in the sleeves and it reached me mid-thigh. 

I could admire it later. I blinked and made my way to the door. I gripped the handle with a strength I didn’t know I had. Me hands shook as I slowly unlocked the door. Then, I opened it with just as much care. 

Just like I’d done earlier, I slipped through the sliver. Once the door was shut, I let go an audible exhale. I looked ‘round me and instantly felt paranoid. I walked fast and looked at no one. 

I brought the sleeves to me face. I took in the scent. 

Cigarettes. It smelt of cigarettes and his cologne. I used to associate the smell of ciggie with me gran, but now— I was surrounded by smokers. The scent, I would think, would evade my nose since it was so common. I just adapted to it. 

I took in the sights as I walked past them.

This maybe the very last time I walk these cobblestone steps. This last time I set eyes on these houses. No more gossips, no more whispers. 

I took another gasp for air and quickened my pace. 

I kept feeling like someone was chasing me.

There was this burn in me legs. They were begging for me to stop, but I was used to it. It reminded me of the times I would feel this burn in me legs when I walked to and from school. 

So, I marched on all the way ‘til I reached my special place. When my parents’ headstones were in sight, it got very real. I was going to attempt committing suicide again. It was like white noise filled me head as I walked up to them. 

I dropped to me knees when I stood in front of their headstones. Me hands instinctively began to trace their names. 

Memories of them began to flash in me head. From when I was little to just, what, two years ago now. I have a feeling the childhood memories were fabricated, though. I hardly have any positive memories of that time. I lost them to my depression. 

I sucked in breath and exhaled, shakily with my cheeks puffed. 

I just kept thinking abar their faces. How much I missed them. That brought on longing for me friends. I met them in high school ‘n they meant everything to me. I thought they would see my babies. They wanted to be there for me ‘n now…

I let out a curt laugh to meself as I bent me head, in shame. Slowly, I got off me knees and sat on me bum. I brought me trembling hand to where the gun was. It was cold in me grasp. 

I took it out. The holster made a noise as I did so. I held it with both hands. 

My breathing got quicker and I felt more and more fear. 

I was going to die. What if I die? What if I die and don’t wake up? What if I don’t see my parents’ again after all and I just threw away my life? 

Isn’t that what you wanted! I mean you’re depressed, aren’t you! 

Yes, but no. I had things I wanted to do before I died.

So, why are you doing this?

“Because I’m so fucking tired.” I sobbed as I raised my forearms to hide me face. I brought my knees to me chest as well. 

I let out an “oooh” before blowing the rest of the exhale out. 

Well, then what abar the Shelbys’? How will they react when they find my body? Will they weep? Will they hold a funeral? Will I change things? 

I choked on a sob. Then, it hit me. Like a fucking revelation an idea struck me.

Let’s leave this to a high power. I don’t care who. God, Fortuna, Tyche, or just the laws that controlled fucking chance. 

I opened up the cylinder, spread me legs, and emptied out the chamber. I let the bullets fall on me dress. I took the bullets and set them aside one by one. I held that sixth bullet in me palm. I rolled it ‘round in me palm. 

This very bullet will decide my fate. It completely holds the fate of my life. This little thing. 

I slid it back into a chamber, closed me eyes, spun the cylinder, and then snapped it closed. I opened me eyes ‘n a tear fell out.

When debating suicide, I only accepted two ways. Overdosing on sleeping pills and a bullet to the head, no pain. Peaceful. 

I laid down between the headstones of my parents and looked up at the sky. Tree branches were slightly in the way, but it made for a beautiful picture. Tears were falling out of me eyes more now. Blurred me vision, but I didn’t care. I liked the way me tears rolled down me face. 

Slowly, I raised the gun to me temple. I inhaled sharply and held it as cocked the gun. A sob wracked my body. 

I placed me finger on the trigger gently. Thoughts in me head were racing a hundred miles per hour. 

I kept apologizing to everyone that ever mattered to me. The Shelbys, my friends here, my family, and my friends there. 

I licked my lips, threw my head back against the ground, and gasped. I closed my eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “Tommy,” was left unsaid.

Then, I pulled the trigger.

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​

[luciehercndale]

Lose my breath // Blackdale

Hey! I know I have a few requests in my inbox for other ships and characters, but I felt like writing Blackdale once again this week. This is a *sorta* Halloween-themed fanfic. 

Couple/Characters: Blackdale, Jesse Blackthorn and Lucie Herondale Rating: T

Halloween. Yet another mundane holiday that shadowhunters celebrated. It was Matthew who had insisted, saying that he read on a newspaper that it was fun to throw parties and dress as witches, zombies, or vampires. Or ghosts. Lucie wasn’t against the idea of celebrating it, but the truth was that this day reminded her too much of someone. And now, as she sipped orange juice by the fire of the ballroom of the Institute, she regretted coming. Everyone seemed to be having fun, at least. Some were dancing, others were drinking light stuff. There weren’t just the youngest shadowhunters, but also their parents, which were treating the event as a simple break from every day activities and had no clue what they were celebrating.

Lucie was bored. She believed this event would have provided her with new inspiration for her story, but she had been wrong. She saw Cordelia dancing with James, and she kind of envied the couple. Even if their engagement was just a sham and James turned into a shadow sometimes, he was alive. Cordelia could still hold his hand or touch his hair.

Lucie put the empty glass on a table nearby. She was fed up with the party, and she needed a break. She didn’t want to go to her room. It would mean that she was completely done with the celebration, and she intended to go back in after a few minutes. She needed somewhere else. She thought about the drawing room, but it was on a different floor. Right, the music room, she decided in the end.

No one really went to that room besides her father. Lucie couldn’t play any instrument, but she had to admit that this place was perfect to brainstorm new ideas and to hide from people. Not that she wanted to hide from anybody, in her own house, but…

Her eyes caught the violin case sitting on a table on a velvet cloth. It would be nice if she knew how to play something, but maybe not the violin. No, it seemed too hard, and she didn’t have the time. Plus, her neck was already tight because of the hours spent on her writing machine. She glanced at the grand piano, and walked towards it. Her brother James had learnt how to play it, even though he didn’t touch it anymore. Perhaps he could teach her.

Despite not being used, the piano wasn’t dusty. Lucie touched the black polished wood, then her fingers pressed two keys. She laughed, because she knew she couldn’t play anything, but decided to sit down on the soft bench in front of the piano anyway. She cleared her voice and then started intoning a typical Welsh song. It was the first song that came to her mind when she started pressing her fingers on the keys.

Lucie knew how to sing, at least. Or that was what her father often said when they sang Welsh songs together. But who cared, anyway? She was alone, completely and utterly alone. She stopped touching the piano at some point, but kept singing until the song was over. And then someone clapped.

She gasped, and turned towards the door to see who was the intruder. “Jesse?”

He smiled. “Good evening, Lucie.”

He walked towards the piano, but he didn’t get too close. Lucie craved for his presence while in the ballroom, and she didn’t mind he was keeping his distance. She already appreciated his presence. But she hoped he would cut the distance and she would be able to stare in his green eyes directly. She gazed up at him.

“There is something wrong with you, tonight,” she declared, frowning. She tilted her head and observed him from head to toe. She hoped she didn’t look weird, but she thought she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Jesse shrugged, as if he didn’t know what to say or was bored. “That’s a nice way to greet me,” he snorted.

“I don’t think I’ve offended you,” her nose crinkled, and she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t think you were the touchy type.”

“I didn’t think you as the performer type either,” he countered, advancing until he was a few feet from her.

“You don’t know many things about me. I’m a great singer, and I’ve received a lot of compliments when I once sang in front of a crowd.”

“Your parents and your brother?” he retorted, crossing his arms on his chest.

Her mouth set in a hard line. He didn’t offend her, because it was the truth. “If it’s more than one person it’s a crowd,” she replied with bitterness.

“You weren’t tone-deaf, at least.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Your voice was silvery, Lucie.”

Lucie tried to keep her face neutral, but she wanted to smile. “See, it doesn’t cost much to be nice,” she said, pressing her lips together.

She heard Jesse’s footsteps, and he sat down next to her on the bench before she could object. He hadn’t asked if he could do it, but she didn’t mind. They were alone, and she also believed they were comfortable around each other. Why was she thinking about all of this now? Jesse was sitting by her side! She stared at him. He was staring at the piano before them.

“You may have a nice voice,” he began, turning his head to focus on her, “but you don’t know how to play.”

There it was again. The snark. “Can you refrain from commenting on my skills for five minutes?”

“It’s not about your skills. It’s facts.”

She sighed and scowled at him. “I may not know how to play an instrument, but the question is: do you?”

“Of course, I do,” he replied with a smirk. “I may not have lived much time, but I definitely know how to play.”

Lucie rolled her eyes. “I’m glad for you,” her lips drew back in a snarl, and she looked away.

“Want me to teach you a simple song?”

“What?” she didn’t mean to be loud, but her voice rose an octave when she uttered the question. She covered her mouth quickly, and glanced at him. He was grinning. “Okay,” she agreed.

He seemed satisfied of her answer. “Put your hands on these keys,” he pointed at them, and Lucie obeyed. “Now press this and then this for five times.”

She didn’t know if she would do it right, but she tried. He explained her which keys she should press, and how much, for how many times. After a few minutes of practice, she could finally hear some progress. It wasn’t perfect, but it was there. There was just a point where she always mistook the keys. “I never get this right,” she lamented with a pout.

“Want to do it with me?” he asked her, and she nodded, believing that they would do it on their own side of the keyboard. So, when Jesse put his hands on hers, she shivered. Her heart started racing as he adjusted his bigger hands on her dainty ones. Strangely, they were warm. They tried the melody once, twice, and she kept on making the same mistake. She didn’t know if he knew that she was on edge because he was almost holding her hands. He had been nothing but patient with her, and had tried to give her good advice on how to avoid the mistakes she was making.

The third time they tried, something went wrong. As they moved their hands on the keys, someone decided it was time to come and watch the performance.

“By the angel!” Lucie screamed, and grabbed Jesse’s arm as a small spider came out of one of the keys.

Once it went away, she glanced at her hand clutched on his white shirt. He was staring at her, with an unreadable expression on his face. She didn’t know what expression she was displaying, but she thought she must seem scared.

“Lucie,” he murmured.

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

She instantly sobered up. She knew the answer to that question, yet she waited a few seconds before nodding her head and accepting his request.

Jesse placed his hand behind her neck and guided her face towards his, until their lips met. Lucie didn’t know what to do, since she had never been kissed, and she let him guide her through it all, until she understood what to do. He wasn’t imposing. On the other hand, he was gentle, and he was giving her time to adjust. Lucie thought his lips were soft, and she would have kept on tasting them if she hadn’t been out of air.

She panted for a moment, and sighed. He was panting as well – but wasn’t he dead?!

Her head shot up and she started at him, obviously astonished. Her eyes went wide as saucers, and she stilled. She had just kissed Jesse. How? Although the light in the music room wasn’t splendid, she realized what was different about him tonight. His sleeves weren’t rolled up at the elbow.

Impossible.

“Jesse, but, you –“

“I thought you’d never notice, Lucie.”

“How? How are you… how can I touch you? I thought that you…”

“I have no idea. And I don’t know how long it will last,” he said, as the clock on the wall struck midnight.

Lucie jumped at the sudden sound, and glared at the grandfather clock for having interrupted their moment. Once he turned to Jesse, her jaw dropped. “Jesse, you –“ she pointed at him, or what was left of him.

He looked at himself then. His face didn’t change, but Lucie saw his lip quiver before he schooled his expression back to his melancholic self. “Guess we have our answer.”

“I’m sorry, Jesse,” Lucie replied, and she was truly touched.

He stood up from the bench, or better, he went through it. Lucie stood as well. “I reckon it is time for me to leave.”

“You can stay if you want,” she offered, but she could see the defeat in his eyes. He wanted to go.

He managed a smile. “You have to go back to your celebration.”

“I don’t have to go back to anything.”

“Well, I had a long day. Goodnight, Lucie,” Jesse said, and she didn’t understand what he meant with that. She was about to ask him, but he had already disappeared into thin air, leaving her alone with herself once again.

She had taken a long break from the party, but she didn’t wish to go back to the ballroom. So, she went back to the bench and practiced the song he taught her until she got it right.

She hoped he had listened.

[spacetrashpile]

Trying To Analyze All The References/Connections To Arthurian Mythos in HNOC (that I can catch)

So I’m a fucking nerd who knows a lot about King Arthur and his knights so HNOC made me go absolutely feral because of these references, so I’m gonna try to dissect them all. (under the cut cause this got LONG)

I’m going to try and go in order here, so let’s start with The Tower and Gunfight at Dolorous Guard. 

1. Dolorous Guard is a fort that Lancelot comes across before becoming one of Arthur’s knights. While there, he frees it from a curse and an evil king and renames it Joyus Guard. He also learns of his identity as a lost French prince, and that is where he is later buried. After his affair with Guinevere is discovered by Arthur, they run off to Joyus Guard and the name changes back. 

2. Arthur’s gun is a “Clarent 10 caliber railgun” and the 10 Caliber is supposed to sound like “Excalibur”, Arthur’s legendary sword.

3. Arthur pulls the star off of Sheriff Stone, a reference to the Sword In The Stone story that marks Arthur as the true king, or in this case, sheriff (also Excalibur is a different sword most of the time)

Strength and Empty Trail

1. Annwn, where the corpses go and where the ghouls live, is the “Otherworld” in Welsh mythology. There is an old poem in which Arthur goes to Annwn, and Morgan Le Fay, a prominent character in Arthurian legend, is also thought to have been drawn from Welsh mythology. Sometimes Morgan is Arthur’s older sister, sometimes she’s Mordred’s mother, sometimes both (gross).

2. Gawain is one of the more well known of Arthur’s knights, even though he doesn’t do... a lot. He’s a relatively normal dude, but notably, he’s usually Mordred’s brother, and always a close friend of Lancelot. When Lancelot comes back for Guinevere after the scandal is uncovered, he is nearly captured, and kills Gawain’s brothers and sons to escape. Gawain is so angry about this that he drags Arthur into war with Lancelot, which allows Mordred to usurp the throne. He forgive Lancelot on his death bed and begs him to come back and defeat Mordred. Basically, the characterization of “being a bit too angry gets everyone killed” tracks.

Death and The Hanged Man Rusts

1. Mordred. Oh boy Mordred. Morgause is sometimes Mordred’s mother, and also Arthur’s half sister (gross), so that’s why that’s Mordred’s dead name. It’s always a thing that Arthur doesn’t know Mordred is his son for whatever reason, and Mordred always overthrows Arthur (though with more malicious intent than he does in HNOC).

2. Galahad! Galahad is Lancelot’s son with Elaine of Corbenic, who tricks him into thinking she’s Guinevere so he’ll sleep with her. Galahad kinda replaced Lancelot as the Grail Knight, because people didn’t really like an adulterer being the chosen one. Galahad is basically Lancelot but better so that they can have a more pure guy as the Grail Knight. 

The Hieorphant and Hellfire

1. The seat that Galahad sits in that drives him mad is a thing from his version of the Grail Quest. The seat is meant for the Grail Knight, and if you sat in it and weren’t the Grail Knight, it would kill you, as shown. Galahad is new to the Round Table when he sits in it, and when it doesn’t kill him, he becomes the designated Grail Knight. Yay!

2. Avalon, the name of the star, is also the name of Morgan Le Fay’s home, and where she takes Arthur to try and save his life after his final battle with Mordred.

3. Fort Galfridian is a reference to the two “eras” of Arthurian myth, pre-galfridian and post-galfridian. Post-galfridian defines weather or not a piece of King Arthur literature is influenced by the writer Geoffrey of Monmouth’s work.

The Lovers and Blood and Whiskey

1. There’s not really much here which is nice, but as I mentioned, Guinevere is married to Arthur from the beginning, but when Lancelot gets introduced, he also starts an affair with Guinevere that is either very good or very bad depending on the writer. The Mechanisms said fuck that shit what if they just talked it out and were poly. Good for them. They also mention Joyus Guard here.

The Fool and Skin and Bone

1. King Arthur is a very British hero. When Britain was in its VERY early days, they had two main enemies, the Anglo-Saxons and the Gaels. So that’s why the ghouls/Saxons are called that. Saxon being a name derived from their seax knives is also just where the word comes from so that’s cool.

2. Mordred being the son of Arthur but raised in an outside place also goes with his mother sometimes being Morgan Le Fay, as she was a faerie or witch in most myths, and as such an outcast from British society in general.

The Hermit and Holder of the Grail

1. The other two knights that are killed in The Hermit are Bors and Percival. Percival was the Grail Knight before Lancelot was introduced. Bors and Percival also both go on the Grail Quest with Lancelot and Galahad, and Galahad, Percival, and Bors, all get to see the Grail while Lancelot usually doesn’t. I guess dying from the turrets is how you see the Grail.

2. Joseph Robert Mathea, the captain, can also be refereed to as Joseph R Mathea. Joseph of Arimathea (pronounced the same) is the man who supposedly brought the grail to Britain. Nice. (someone else pointed this out first but I can’t for the life of me remember who someone help).

Judgement and Peacemaker

1. Camelot is refereed to as being in the “Camlann wastes”. Camlann is Arthur’s final battle against Mordred, where he is fatally wounded.

2. Mordred refers to Gawain as “brother” which, as I said, is usually a part of their backstories.

Justice and Once and Future King

1. Mordred always fatally wounds Arthur in the Battle of Camlann. Mordred dies, as does Arthur. While Arthur doesn’t die in HNOC, Mordred CERTAINLY DOES.

2. Arthur and Merlin/Drumbot Brian are the only two people who survive High Noon Over Camelot. Arthur and Merlin also both fall into the King Under the Mountain trope. This is a trope where a big important hero is buried/entombed somewhere and promises to come back in their land’s greatest hour of need. So in this case, Living is what ends out classifying them as Kings Under the Mountain.

3. Once and Future King is also the title of a book series that is based on Le Morte D’Arthur! I have never read those books though so idk if that’s where the similarities end or not

[hardcorehardigan]

[Cover: GREG WILLIAMS/AUGUST IMAGES]

Tom Hardy interview and exclusive David Bailey shot

Tom Hardy interview and exclusive David Bailey shot

By DANIELLE DE WOLFE

02 September 2015

ShortList meets the British actor who took on the Kray twins and won. Plus an exclusive image of the actor taken by the inimitable David Bailey.

Interviewing Tom Hardy is not like interviewing other film stars. From the moment he arrives – alone, dressed down in hiking trousers and black T-shirt, puffing away on a complex-looking digital e-cigarette – it is immediately clear this is not someone who will be exhibiting any kind of on-promotional-duties polish. He is very, very nice (I get a hug at the end of the interview), but there is unmistakably a wired edginess about him. When we sit down, it starts like this:

Me: I’m going to start with an obvious question, which is… Hardy: Have you seen the film? Me: Yes. I… Hardy: Right, well that’s the first question, then. The second one is, “What did you think?” I tell him I loved it, and why, and he is pleased (“That’s a f*cking result!”). When we move on to me asking him questions, his answers – again, in contrast to other film stars, with whom the game is to get them to veer slightly away from prepared, succinct monologues – are smart and eloquent, but long, drawn-out and enjoyably all over the place, veering off into tangents prompted by thoughts that have clearly just formulated. At the end of our allotted time, we are told to wind it up not once but twice, and even then he is still going, launching into theories about American versus British gangster films and life and humanity and such things (“Sorry man, I can talk for f*cking ever!” he laughs). He will be talking with a seriousness and sincerity (“All the risk was taken by [writer and director] Brian [Helgeland], to be fair…”), then will switch without warning into a piercing, mock-hysterical falsetto (“…letting me PLAY BOTH F*CKING ROLES, MAN!”).

In fact, briefly, while we’re on the subject of the way he speaks…

Tom Hardy’s normal speaking voice is not something we have been privy to onscreen. Since he delivered – whatever your opinion of it – the most imitated cinematic voice of the decade in The Dark Knight Rises, we haven’t come close. That thick Welsh accent in Locke, The Drop’s quiet Brooklyn drawl, the Russian twang in Child 44: we just never hear it. And this might be because it doesn’t exist. It’s five years ago, but if you watch his Jonathan Ross appearance in 2010, where he is very well spoken, he confesses he “sometimes picks up accents, and sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to sound until I start speaking”. If you then watch another video of a feature on GMTV, dated just a month previous, while addressing some young people from troubled backgrounds as part of his charity work with the Prince’s Trust, he is speaking to them in a south London street kid drawl. Today, in the flesh, he is about halfway between these two.

A natural-born chameleon.

Tom Hardy shot by David Bailey for ShortList

BEING DOUBLE

The role we are here to discuss today does not, by Tom Hardy’s own standards at least, involve a huge stretch accent-wise. But it is “the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, technically”. This is because, as mentioned, he plays not one role, but two. In the same film. You will likely have seen the posters for Legend by now, depicting Hardy as both of the Kray twins. Which seems an ambitious, almost foolhardy undertaking.

Hardy agrees. “It is one of them situations,” he says. “You get an actor to play two characters, and immediately, it’s pony. It’s gonna be rubbish. Just: no. It’s a bad idea.”

This particular “bad idea” came to him when he first met writer and director Brian Helgeland (who had previously written screenplays for – no biggie – LA Confidential and Mystic River) for dinner. Brian wanted Hardy to play Reggie (the hetero, alpha male, more-straight-down-the-line Kray). Hardy, though, had read the script, and of course, being Tom Hardy, was drawn to the more complex character. “I was like, ‘Well, I feel Ronnie,’” he says. “So which actor am I gonna give up Ronnie to, if I play Reggie? Errrrrggh…. I can’t have that. ’Cos that’s all the fun there! And Reggie’s so straight! But there was a moment when I could have come away just playing Reggie. We could have gone and found a superlative character actor to play Ronnie, and that would have been the best of everything."

But Helgeland sensed the dissatisfaction in his potential leading man. “I’m sitting there thinking, ‘Oh, he wants to play Ron,’” he tells me. “And the paraphrased version is that by the end of the dinner, I said, ‘I’ll give you Ron if you give me Reg.’”

And so began their quest to turn a risky, potentially disastrous idea into something special (as Brian puts it to me, “the movie’s either gone right or gone wrong before anyone even starts working on it”). Hardy found some comfort in Sam Rockwell’s two-interacting-characters performance in Moon. “I’m a big fan of Sam,” he says.

“And Moon gave me reason to go, ‘I know it’s possible to hustle with self, to create a genuine dialogue with self.’ So then it’s the technical minefield: can you authentically create two characters within a piece at all? So that the audience can look past that and engage in the film? It is what it is: it’s two characters played by the same actor. But I think we got to a point where people forget that and are genuinely watching the story."

This was the ‘why I liked the film’ reasoning I gave to him at the beginning of the interview. And it is a remarkable performance, or pair of performances, or triumph of technical direction. The opening shot features both Tom Hardy Krays sitting in the back of a car, and feels strange, but very quickly, within about 10 or 15 minutes, you settle into it, and forget that it is actually the same guy. This was made possible, in part, by Hardy’s stunt double from Mad Max: a New Zealander named Jacob Tomuri.

“He inherited the hardest job of my career,” Hardy grins. “I put on a pair of glasses, played every scene with Ron, then took ’em off and played Reg. And we went through every scene in the film, recording it on the iPhone. So he’s got every scene of me doing both characters, on his iPhone. He actually played both brothers, had to learn all of the lines. He was paying attention twice as hard to keep up. But he superseded that, and was eventually ad-libbing. There’s a line that ended up in the film, where Ronnie goes, ‘I bent him up like a pretzel, I hurt him really f*cking badly.’” “Where did that come from?!” Hardy shrieks, in that falsetto again. “It came from New Zealand."

The wife’s tale

The other big potential pitfall, as Hardy sees it, was contributing to the ongoing glamorisation and eulogising of two brothers who were, to say the least, not very nice. Somehow they have become almost as iconic a piece of the Sixties puzzle as the Beatles or the Stones. But this was not something that Legend would be setting out to reinforce. “One has to approach these things thinking about the families of the victims who were involved in the other end of it,” he says. “Before you find the heart to like somebody, you’ve gotta look at their track record as best as possible: the people who’ve been hurt, the bodies, the suffering, people who were bullied, who lived in terror, who lost significant parts of their lives in the wake of these two men. There’s a lot of sh*t to wade through. And a lot of people who do not, quite rightly, want to see anything to do with these two men. And if I were them, I wouldn’t want to be involved myself, but there’s also part of me that wants to know. That wants to get under the skin.”

So how do you go about doing that? About humanising, to any extent, such people?

“I think the first port of call is, ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to do and say whatever you wanted to do and say in the world, regardless of the ramifications and the consequences?’ Ultimately, when I – we – go to the cinema or read a book or we go to escape, we respond to certain types of characters that go, ‘F*ck it: I’m gonna do whatever I want.'

And that’s because we can’t. Because most people would feel a responsibility.”

The answer to how Legend would do this came in the shape of a person who did feel some responsibility, namely Frances Shea: the troubled wife of Reggie, who died in 1967. Played by Emily Browning, she became the centre of the film when Helgeland met Krays associate Chris Lambrianou, who told him that “Frances was the reason we all went to prison”.

“We could have put more of the carnage and the crimes in that film,” says Hardy. “Not to say that it is not there, but what you do see, really, is Reggie, Ronnie and Frances. That’s the dynamic we focused on, that space, which hasn’t been seen before. What was that dynamic like? I don’t know if we came anywhere near the truth, because we weren’t there. But that was the playing field, if you like: Frances Shea, future ahead of her, caught up in something, and no one with her, the suicide. That sits with me in a way as the lead. She’s who we forgot. Ronnie, Reggie, they’ve done their bit. Frances was forgotten. And that kind of all ties it together for me."

FUTURE LEGENDS

The initial praise for Legend has been plentiful, but the mindset of Tom Hardy right now is such that he does not have the time to bask in it. There are other quite ludicrously challenging projects to be pressing ahead with. Coming in autumn is The Revenant, starring his good friend Leonardo DiCaprio and directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu of Birdman fame. Its trailer, as well as doing the not-going-anywhere trend for big beards no harm whatsoever, suggests that it will also match Mad Max in terms of an unrelenting barrage of intensity. Further into the future there’s the Elton John biopic Rocketman (initial challenge? Hardy “can’t sing”) and another foray into comic-book adaptation with 100 Bullets (news of which broke just after our interview).

And right now, as in this week, he’s working on a BBC series called Taboo, which is set in 1813 and stars Hardy as an adventurer who comes back from Africa and builds a shipping empire. The story has been developed by his production company Hardy Son & Baker (formed with his father, Chips) and has been written and directed by Locke/Peaky Blinders creator Steven Knight, with Ridley Scott also exec producing.

“We’re sat on something really awesome,” says Hardy. “And it’s trying to piece it together. I’ve never produced anything before, so I basically don’t know what I’m doing. But I’ve got some options and solutions: if you say something is not working, you better come up with at least four other options. But it’s good. It’s just different.”

Another day, another big challenge. Another chance to do something different. It isn’t an easy life being Tom Hardy. But neither will it ever a boring one, and that’s good news for us.

Legend is at cinemas from 9 September

Words: Hamish MacBain. Images: David Bailey, Studio Canal

You can also read the Hardy interview in this week's ShortList Magazine. It'd be a crime to miss it.

Source: https://www.shortlist.com/news/tom-hardy-interview-and-exclusive-david-bailey-shot

[starbuck]

All of Armitage’s Looks: Rated

Well, this was inevitable, wasn’t it? Being someone who very readily admits to having Armitage’s entire wardrobe memorized (and who will not apologize for how weird that is), I feel that I’m the perfect person to make this post, although perhaps not the most objective...

So, without further ado, allow me to present to you: every single one of Armitage’s Looks in chronological order: Rated.

#1 - Enjoying The Birthday -- 11/10

Unlike most named characters, Armitage does not appear until episode 4 but oh what an entrance it is... Look at that smile!!!! Actually, take an extra good look because you’ll never see it again. 

Outfit-wise, this is just his normal steward uniform but I like those boots. Probably not unique to him but they’re very nice and remind me of a pair I own. 

Bonus points for being the second person on the tackle-pile, following Tozer. 

(You could accuse me of rating too high right off the bat, but look at his smiling face again and tell me I’m wrong.)

#2 - “Mr. Armitage, what do you report?” -- 8/10

And thus we are introduced to Armitage by name. Appropriately, he is partaking in his most consistent character-defining activity: protecting Tozer from harm (which, in this case, is the Not-Bear which has just come out of nowhere and ripped part of Heather’s skull off).

I’m gonna be honest: I don’t like how this style of coat looks when it’s fully buttoned-up. I think it’s awkward and boxy (see Gibson’s coat in the mutiny-planning scene at the beginning of ep 7 for a better idea of what I mean) and this is before Armitage figured out the belt trick that corrects the problem so I’m deducting points for the coat.

Luckily for him though, his hat is of my favorite variety in the show so I’m delighted to see it despite it just being his uniform. Also loving our first look at his blue sweater (peeking out beyond his coat-sleeves) and his gray gloves.

Further points added for this being the first of many scenes where he carries a gun, endlessly confusing the fandom at large about what the hell his job is. 

#3 - tfw You’re Responsible For This -- 5/10

So I’m just gonna come right out and say that this is one of my favorite images of him in the entire show but, just as Look #1 was rated higher due to the context of the scene despite the outfit itself being average, this one’s rating, in turn, must suffer. 

Things I love about this: the hat (obviously), the fact that the coat looks worlds better just because it’s slightly unbuttoned, the delicate dusting of snow, the way his face looks at this angle.

Things I don’t love about this: literally Everything Else.

Aiding in the racist kidnapping of an innocent woman and then not owning up to it twenty minutes after your introduction is not a good look, no matter how emotionally conflicted about it you are.

#4 - Who the Fuck is This Guy? -- 6/10

October 20th, 2019 was not the day that my obsession with Armitage began, but it was the day that I took a screenshot of this exact moment because I had no idea who this man was or why we were getting a close-up of him. It would take me two more months to figure his identity out.

But, to the point, not much to say here since it’s just his normal uniform again except that this is our first proper look at his hair which I absolutely adore. Also loving the little anchor buttons on his jacket - very cute!

Once again, points deducted for the unfortunate context.

#5 - Slops! -- 7/10

This look is noteworthy for a few reasons. First of all, we see his tan slops for the first time! Slops just sort of look horrible by default unfortunately but I’m enjoying the hat + slops combo here... it works for him. Secondly, Armitage disappears for the entirety of episode 5 so this is the first time we’ve seen the man since the lashing scene. I guess it was so traumatic to witness that he had to take a break. 

He has a gun again though, so things can’t be all bad.

#6 - Big Carnivale Hours -- 8/10

I have given up on trying to figure out what the hell is going on with the marines and their costume theme. Are they knights.... with crowns? That’s all I’ve been able to figure. Who’s idea was this? (Despite having no evidence, I blame Pilkington.) So what does that make Armitage? Is he a squire? Or a knight that just doesn’t have a crown like the others because they ran out of them? Whatever the case, he’s clearly a part of their theme despite not being a marine himself which I think is adorable regardless.

Speaking of adorable, let’s just forget everything that happens for the rest of this episode and appreciate how he’s hanging out with Tozer and Heather. Isn’t that nice? God I’m distressed.

Taking a look at the costume itself, you’ll see that it’s essentially a cut-up burlap sack and a sheet over his regular uniform but realism is not the goal here and the DIY vibe is actually quite nice imo.

#7 - Enter: The Belt -- 10/10

The belt has arrived on the scene! Note its success in not only making the coat itself more appealing but making the coat + slops combo work against all odds.

We really get it all here: belt, (unbuttoned) coat, hat, welsh wig, gloves, and slops! What more could I possibly ask for in an outfit? It’s both stylish and practical.

And plus, I like his attitude in this scene - optimistic-leaning realism about the dangers ahead. I can get behind that.

Overall, no complaints from me - this is a perfect look.

#8 - tfw You Allowed This -- 7/10

This is a Significant Look mostly because we see his hair again, for the first time since episode 4! It’s a bit longer and more unkempt but still maintains a pleasing shape overall. Honestly, I think it looks good this way and its a pity we didn’t get to see it more in the transition stages (assuming it was steadily growing out since ep 4 like most people’s). Additionally, there’s a bit of stubble going on here which I respect.

Rated lower than it might be simply because, as has been established, slops on their own are just kinda ugly. I don’t have a lot to work with here outfit-wise. His face is lovely but this screenshot is a sepia-toned nightmare.

A bonus point for his desperate “please explain this clearly illegal thing we’re doing in a way that makes sense to Little” glance at Tozer, who is already on it.

#9 - Agony -- 8/10

It took me awhile, even after becoming aware of who Armitage was, to appreciate how truly miserable he looks in this scene. And I mean, why wouldn’t he be miserable? Tozer, a man who Armitage risked his own life to drag to safety at Carnivale, is about to be executed for something that’s arguably just as much Armitage’s fault and there’s not a thing he can do about it.

So... that’s depressing.

But, looking at the outfit itself, we see that it’s pretty similar to some past Looks. In fact, it’s identical to what he was wearing when the Tuunbaq attacked Heather with the exception of the belt which is, of course, a new addition since then! And look at the difference a belt can make... You almost don’t notice that the coat is buttoned up all the way.

#10 - The Same Outfit But Now He’s Saving Tozer So Its Cooler -- 9/10

Y’all ever think about the fact that, when things went to shit, Armitage’s first instinct was to grab a gun, find Tozer, and rescue him? I mean you probably don’t but I do. Constantly. 

Obviously I love this part and the outfit is still solid (note how well the belt shows off his figure!) but it loses out on being a perfect 10/10 because he must have dropped his hat while picking up the gun so we never see it again. A necessary sacrifice but one that I mourn nonetheless. 

RIP Armitage’s cool hat, ??-1848.

#11 - The Blue Sweater -- 8/10

It’s warming up so that means we finally get a look at the lovely layers that have been hiding under Armitage’s coat. It’s important to me to bring special attention to the sweater because, although (as I’ve mentioned) he has it on all the way back in ep 4, this is one of only two scenes in the entire show where we get a proper look at it. 

Further, not only is he wearing the blue sweater, but he also has a blue vest on over it! Now, I’ll admit, these aren’t exactly complimentary shades of blue but it still works for me. 

Note also that the belt he had around his coat has been repurposed to aid in holding up his slops-pants over his normal pants (which are held up by the suspenders). Does this man’s resourcefulness ever cease?

As much as I’d love to give a higher rating for the blue sweater, I can’t ignore the new beard which is... it isn’t... it’s Not Great. I don’t have as much animosity towards it as I used to but I can’t pretend that I love it.

#12 - Let Us Fly These Deadly Waters! -- 9/10

I’m not sure why but I’ve always found this outfit very appealing. The tan slops-pants go nicely with the white shirt and blue vest. It’s a solid look - I’d wear this irl honestly. 

And bonus points for his trying to convince Tozer to leave Hickey, even though he was ultimately unsuccessful. 

(P.S. - yes, the title for this one is a Moby-Dick reference... Did you really think I would make it through this entire post without one?) 

...and now, last but not least, I present to you my absolute favorite Armitage Look™... all the other times I said some other outfit was my favorite, I was lying because what I am about to show you is truly the cream of the crop. Without further ado:

#13 - Kidnapping is Bad So At Least Look Good Doing It -- 12/10

Are y’all seeing this? Are you SEEING this????? It is episode fucking 10!! Everyone is dying!!! And yet here’s Armitage waltzing up in his best outfit of the entire show. What the fuck!!!!!!! 

Do I even need to explain why this is exceptional? Just look at it! Look at how the vest is buttoned up and tucked into his slops-pants! Look at the suspenders over top which match the slops-pants in color! Look at the gun and keyring that look like they were made to accessorize this outfit specifically! Heck, even his hair and beard look much better from this angle.

Now, I’m not trying to discount the fact that Armitage was absolutely miserable throughout this entire episode, and understandably so, but, even with that in mind, I can’t bring myself to rate this look any lower. It’s just That Perfect.

If one must inevitably die horribly in the arctic, this is an excellent outfit to die in.

__ 

Well, that’s that! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this! I’m glad that my ridiculous opinions about Armitage’s wardrobe finally came in handy for something other than my own amusement. 

[upslapmeal]

Spyfall Pt. 1

BANGER OF AN OPENER ok let’s get into them reactions

cold open!

I missed cold opens in s11

why have the fam been missing for periods of time back at home when they literally time travel

the Doctor still having bad memories of trying to get Rose back to the exact moment she left?

is this the first time we’ve seen the doctor fiddling with the internal bits of the TARDIS from the outside like this?

water slides! rainforest floor!

‘in 5 seconds: die’ I mean that’s just another day with a satnav

‘I’d be a great spy, I’d just blend in’ ah but Graham what about the other key spy components: running away from explosions and smoothly ordering cocktails

Stephen Fry!

'you actually do exist’ cue Graham starting to doubt the possibility of his own existence

'they’re not toys Graham’ 'no they’re not and if you say other wise I will shoot you with my laser shoe’ ACTUAL CHILDREN lmao

so uh. VOR is Google right? or Amazon?

is this ep trying to seek forgiveness for Kerblam

(which I did enjoy but is a bit yikes when you start to think about it)

‘UNIT! even Torchwood!’ 

the emphasis on even since somehow that welsh disaster gang managed to get stuff done occasionally

also RIP UNIT and Torchwood I mean after London’s many alien invasions you’d have thought they’d have at least kept someone keeping an eye on the whole alien thing

does Thirteen have 2 phones? or was she just borrowing Yaz’s iphone?

well RIP Stephen Fry

the entire time the Aussie agents were searching outside the house all I could think was why did the Doctor land the TARDIS so far from the house!! it’s just out there! how will they get away if they have to!

'I’d be a great brother in law' 

Yaz!! she’s been light alien absorbed!

love how genuinely tense this ep is

and I love the design of that weird forest-y place Yaz was sent

alien and terrifyingly isolated

'I thought I was dead’ 'I’m never gonna let that happen to you’ uh. this will be their second series as companions so let’s hope that’s not some nice early foreshadowing :)))

'we’ve tried to ask but she just changes the subject’ ok glad it’s looking as though the Doctor’s purposely been hiding her past

ooh that tantalising shelf of info

O seems very familiar and I can’t remember if the time he met the Doctor was in the show

WAIT no he was Waris Hussein in An Adventure In Space And Time that’s where I know him from

'there’s no match’ Doc why are you using a laptop to do this surely the TARDIS will get jealous

love the bond-esque score, nice work Akinola

'blend in’ your time has come Graham bc that’s something the Doctor has never been good at

Thirteen being threatening yess

imagine Thirteen getting shot and full on regenerating mid chase

I mean it would be useful in terms of being undercover and not being recognised

…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!! WHATT!!!!!!!! W H A T

it’s the Master?????? 

did we have any idea this was coming???? I feel as though they’ve kept this very well hidden since I’ve not seen anyone mention the Master may be back this series

BETRAYED BY WARIS HUSSEIN

shrunken O in the matchbox is very The Faceless Ones

especially combined with them being on a plane

now I just want to know how long the Master just had to pretend to be an agent

I mean they’ve done the long term thing back when they were Harold Saxon but still

and yeah ok people are saying this ruins Missy’s arc but guys

it’s the Master

this character is 90% pure evil schemes did we really expect that arc to stick?

my one complaint about the ep? A SEVERE LACK OF SCRONCH

glad we don’t have to wait a full week for Spyfall 2 Electric Boogaloo, are we thinking those 4 morse code beeps in the trailer = the Master’s drum beats?