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#though i revised them before posting
translyricalmabi · 4 months
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The Portrait Glassred Drew (グラスレッドの肖像) - English Translyrics
Original song by mothy
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“If only… you didn't have to change.”
Running my paintbrush
Across another canvas
I came to depict
A picture of him
In a little space
Within my memory, lies his face
But it is one I'll never see
Again
At what point it was that everything changed
Is something that I still ask, to this day
All the same, I think perhaps if you just remained
The way you were, this could’ve ended up different
So I say, but I know it's too late
For the you within the picture will never return
By no means would I say
That I was all that fond of your face
Yet again and again
I painted it, without end
And by the time I realized
The room was overflowing with
Your resemblance
Your face was by no means
What it was I wanted to see
I had rathered you be
The you I knew you to be
But in the end
It was both of us who were being foolish then
For we could not realize this
Crumbling away
Watching the portrait burn, you coldly say
To me how you hate
The face that I paint
But you could not see
That what had truly been ugly
Was not your face, this I can say
Surely
Thinking quickly, but not at all clearly
All I did was hurt and mock you, really
And somehow, by the next time we met, it seemed
You were nothing at all like before
Yes, just as if you were the man I knew no more
And the you within the picture will never return
Even so, I believed
Even if I could no longer see
The person in my memories
As long as you were happy
Then just maybe, no matter
What happened or was done to me
I could let it be
By no means would I say
That it's bad for people to change
Only that it isn’t
The thing that’s most important
What’s needed is to
Be able to be contented with the current you
But you could not realize this
So like this, I will keep you alive
By painting out my memories of you, day and night
Even if the appearance in the portrait isn't quite
The one you wanted to be remembered by
And I’ll admit, on that fateful day
The final words you were desperately trying to say
I believe that I could tell what they were, in a way
Since forever ago, I had known
I suppose I could say
That I just might have loved you the same
So again and again
I painted you, without end
And by the time I realized
The room was overflowing with
Your reminiscence
Your face was by no means
What it was I wanted to see
I had rathered you be
The you I knew you to be
But in the end
It was both of us who were being foolish then
For we could not realize this
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y'all i've been upset about nanowrimo's shenanigans since last year, when kids weren't safe, and now there's this AI shitshow, and i want to cry about it again, because nano has been SO IMPORTANT to me since 2008--it helped me hack my writing process and make a bunch of cool shit, and i've written so many stories i love using it as a jumping off point. but. we gotta protect kids, and we gotta get the fuck out of here with AI bullshit.
so. the decision i have come to is that i will still be participating in nano. but now it stands for "now a's [that's me] novel writing month." i'm still going to write a book in november, and i'm still going to shoot for the 1,667 words/day (even though my finished projects wind up way longer than that, invariably), because i've structured my creative life around this routine, but i won't be using their site any more.
i will also not be tagging my november project posts as nanowrimo, but i WILL still be tagging them as "nano[YEAR]" (because that's been my tagging system for untitled projects for uh. years.). and it's now a's novel writing month :)
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layzeal · 2 years
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gotta appreciate how mxtx really doesn't care at all at how people interpret her characters, and doesn't change her writing or alienate her readers to convince them of a certain interpretation (unless theyre actively putting words in her mouth)
she really just wanted to write her words and create a work she is proud of, and not letting the audience response to affect the final product
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katsu28 · 3 months
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slow down, be here
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: after a long, frustrating day of training, a night in with you is just what lando needs to leave it all in his rearview mirror (2.4k)
warnings: teensy but of swearing, reader is in university but major is unspecified, lando being a certified menace
a/n: i was gonna post this sometime next week but the lando girlies (aka me) need some comfort after today's shitshow. may or may not have been entirely inspired by that video of lando in the white singlet. that look (however fleeting) did things to me okay
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You’re sitting at the kitchen counter when you hear Lando’s key in the door, one leg drawn up towards your chest, the other swinging aimlessly as you revise your notes last minute. 
Well, more specifically, when you hear him drop his keys on the floor in search of the correct one right before he inserts it into the lock. You’ve loved him and lived with him long enough to know it’s something he does everyday without fail. Whether it’s because he’s got clumsy hands or he’s Pavloved himself into dropping them at the same spot, you don’t think too much about it. The key drop signals that Lando is home. 
What also signals that he’s home is the way he lets out the strangest sound you’ve ever heard as he lets the door swing shut behind him after he’s let himself in—something between a sigh and a whine mixed with a guttural groan. 
“In here!” You call, taking the cap of your pen out from between your teeth. It only takes a few seconds until Lando emerges from the hallway, socked feet dragging himself towards where you’re sitting with a soft smile aimed at his rumpled state. “Hi, love.” 
He plops down on the stool next to you unceremoniously, hooking his foot under the bar of yours to tug you as close as possible to him on instinct. His chin finds the dip between your neck and shoulder to nestle into, and the deflating sigh he lets out once he’s situated himself to his liking sends a shiver through you. “Hi.” He mumbles, voice muffled. 
“Heard you’ve had quite a day.” You stroke a hand over his curls, smoothing them away from his forehead gently. Oscar had shot you a heads up text a little bit before Lando had arrived, saying that Lando might seem a bit put out when he got home. Something about a handful of tests not going the way they wanted, strategies not working out the way they planned. It sounds like enough to drive anyone crazy, but Lando is the type of person to take things especially hard. 
Lando lets out a vague sound of acknowledgement. You can tell he’s exhausted and frustrated, and you know exactly what he needs to wind down after days like these. “I’ll order takeaway for dinner. You go shower. It’ll probably be here by the time you finish up.” 
He gives a more content sigh this time, pressing a kiss to your pulse point. The tips of his hair tickle your cheek as he does so. “You’re a gem, darling.” 
“Tell me something I don’t know.” You tease, pushing him away playfully. He’s smiling big at you when you meet his gaze, something beyond fondness behind his eyes despite the tiredness as he does. “What?” 
“I love you.” 
“Love you too, stinky. Now go. Wash up before I make an executive decision and order sushi.” 
That gets your boyfriend scrambling to his feet fast, aiming a horrified look your way as he books it down the hallway. “You monster!” 
You chuckle quietly, busying yourself with finding Lando’s favorite Italian spot on your delivery app. Soon enough, the food is ordered and all you have to do now is wait.  
Lando reemerges from the bedroom just as you pull open the front door to grab the food from the delivery person. He figures you’ve got it handled by the way you’re chatting nicely with them, so he busies himself with drinks. 
There’s a bottle on top of the fridge that looks vaguely fancy, and though Lando doesn’t know much about wine, Charles had gifted him the bottle a while ago for his birthday. He trusts Charles’ taste. 
He does his best to sound out the French on the label and shrugs, snagging two wine glasses to go along with it. By the time he finishes pouring a generous amount in each glass, you’ve just closed the door, joining him in the kitchen with a massive bag of food. His brows fly into his hairline at the sight. 
You twist your lips to the side in thought, wrinkling your nose as you study the bulging paper bag. “I might’ve ordered too much.” 
“Good thing I always rise to the occasion.” 
You glance up at him, setting it down on the counter in favor of sidling over to where he is, not even fighting the smitten grin stretching your lips as you maneuver yourself between him and the marble. 
His curls are damp, messily towel ruffled and starting to frizz as they air dry. He already looks more at ease, comfier than ever in a pair of loose black sweatpants and a white singlet. You make a mental note to remind him to wear white more. It makes his tan skin glow, and it makes you not want to take your eyes off him. 
Your fingers skate along the exposed skin of his chest, stopping once to push into those dimples in his cheeks that you love so much before moving up to link around the back of his neck. His hands find their way to your waist at the same time, sliding coyly under the hem of your shirt to rest on your bare skin. 
In one fell swoop, you’re up on the counter, Lando nudging his way between your knees. He kisses you languidly, like he has all the time in the world to explore your mouth; long, slow kisses mixed in with brief pecks until you’re all but melting against him. He’s familiar and solid under your touch, all flexing muscle and warm skin as your hands run along his arms. 
After a while, Lando’s focus shifts to trailing open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck. On instinct, you tilt your head to give him more space to work and he takes it gladly, focusing on that one spot just below your ear that he knows for a fact works on you every time. 
You sigh appreciatively at the pressure of his lips against your skin, the way his teeth nip at that sweet spot but his tongue sneaks out to soothe the sting just as quick. 
Your fingers dig into his biceps as he continues his venture, but when he starts kissing along your shoulder, you squeeze a little harder. As much as you want to continue this, you remember you’ve got food waiting for both of you. He stops immediately, perfect lips pouted, eyes wide when he comes back up to gauge your reaction. 
“Eat first, kiss later.” You explain, peeling him off you (albeit a bit reluctantly) before hopping off the countertop. He whines something unintelligible as you unload the food, but as soon as you push a container of his favorite pasta towards him, he seems to forget his disappointment. 
The silence as you eat is comfortable, both of you seemingly more hungry than you thought you were as the food and wine begin to disappear. All the while, the space between the two of you grows smaller and smaller, until your elbows start to bump each other with each bite you take. 
You’ve mastered the art of enjoying each other’s company without having to say a word. 
“Were you revising earlier? When I came home?” He asks after a while, jabbing his fork in the direction of your notes. A few strands of pasta splatter onto the counter with the action and you tsk, nudging him with your foot. The last thing you want is sauce all over your papers. 
“Yeah, I was. Just some final practicing, see if anything needs tweaking before I have to present my thesis.” 
“I’m sure it’s perfect. You’ve been working on it for ages.” 
You spear a chunk of tomato with your fork, dragging it around in the sauce aimlessly. “I dunno. Everything is there, but it still feels like something’s missing.” 
“Present it to me.” 
“What?” 
“Pretend I’m the university board, or whatever, and present it to me. Maybe you’ll figure out what’s missing if you act like it’s the real thing.” 
“Really? You’d do that for me?” 
Lando scoffs, looking offended. “Baby, I’d do anything for you. Go on, do your little scholar thing for me. I’ll be the best fake board you’ve ever seen.” You gnaw on your lip, unsure. The idea seems silly, but it’ll probably work. “C’mon, bub. You’ve got a genius brain up there in that pretty head of yours, let me see it in action.” 
“Okay. Okay, fine, but you can’t be mean! You have to be nice, ‘cause I’m already freaking the fuck out about having to present next week and I don’t think I can deal with—” 
“First of all, I’m never mean to you. Second of all, get the fuck up there before I take my offer back.” 
You stick your tongue out at Lando whilst you grab your papers at the other end of the counter, feigning swatting him with them as he bounces his way over to the couch. He settles in right smack dab on the middle cushion, grabbing a pillow to hug while you do a quick once over of everything. Then you’re ready. 
You stumble through your introduction a little bit, but the words start flowing a few sentences into the body of your research—days, weeks, months of work having burned them straight into your brain. The longer you talk, the more comfortable you become, which gives you the confidence to set aside your notes for once. Part of you feels like you’re about to clam up and forget everything any second now, but you don’t. You forge on like you were born to. 
All that comes to a halt when you hasten a glance over at Lando, who’s staring at you without a thought behind those gorgeous eyes of his, smiling goofily at you. 
“Lando!” You whine, pouting. “Have you even heard a word I’ve said?” 
Lando blinks a few times like he’s coming back down to Earth, letting a sheepish grin creep its way across his face. “Not really.” 
“Seriously?” 
“I’m sorry! You just look really pretty when you talk about things you’re passionate about. It’s hard to focus on words when I look at you.” 
Well, you can’t exactly be mad at him when he’s sweet like that. Besides, you didn’t think he’d understand half of what you were saying anyways, and you’ve found the answer to your problems. Nothing was missing. Lando was right, you’re fully prepared for your thesis presentation. You just needed to get your nerves out of the way. 
“Worst fake board ever.” You huff. 
“But I just said you look pretty!” 
You prop a hand on your hip. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Norris.” 
“Oh yeah? Nowhere, really?” He rises from his seat, creeping towards you with that glint in his eyes you know far too well. You know what he’s about to do, and you’re about ready to make a run for it. 
He bridges the gap between the two of you faster than you think possible, catching you around the waist right before you can make your great escape down the hallway, hoisting you off your feet with ease despite your wriggling around like a fish out of water, and hauling you over to the couch. He tosses you over the back of it just as easily, following suit before you can scramble away. 
Realistically, you should've anticipated the whip fast reflexes of a professional racing driver. Having a faster reaction time than the average person is part of the job description. 
“Lando, no!!!” You squeal, already breaking into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. 
“Maybe flattery won’t get me anywhere, but I know what might!” He pins you down against the cushions with your knees clamped between his own as he digs his fingers into your sides viciously, ignoring your pleas in favor of grinning wickedly. 
“I give up! I give up, please—” You gasp, squirming under his relentless torture. One of his hands comes up to pin both your wrists down easily, probably so you don't punch him in the face trying to escape. (You’ve done it once before, purely by accident, but Lando’s never let you forget it.) 
“Say that you love me.” 
“You already know I do!” 
“Wanna hear you say it.” He insists, jabbing you in the side threateningly. 
You shake your head frantically. You’re near tears at this point, stomach hurting from laughing so much. There’s no point in dragging it out any longer, especially when sweet, sweet freedom is as easy as telling the love of your life that you love him. “I love you!” 
“What was that?” He tilts his head, brows raising expectantly. 
“I love you, Lando Norris.” You repeat, as steady as you can despite your breathlessness. That seems to satisfy him. 
He gives it up entirely, wedging himself between you and the back of the couch, making himself comfortable as you try to catch your breath. You roll over onto your side so you’re facing him, allowing him more space to nuzzle against you. “You’re a dickhead.” 
“I’m your dickhead, and you love me.” He replies smugly, burying his face into the crook of your neck. His arms worm their way underneath you and link up behind your back, legs tangling with yours. At this point, you’re not sure where you end and he begins, which is just the way Lando always likes it. 
“Against my better nature, I do.” You sigh, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. He hums sleepily, exhaling in deep comfort. “I’m sorry you had a rough go of it today.”
“S’fine. Nothing you’ve got to be sorry about. You’ve already made it better.” He mumbles. He already sounds like he's about to drift off.
“D’you want to talk about it?” 
Lando lifts his head to look up at you, blinking slowly. He offers you a small smile. “Not really. Just wanna lay here with you and forget about it all.” 
“Okay.” You say softly. 
You might not be able to help him with everything in life, but this, you can do. You thread one hand through his hair, smoothing through his curls in that one way you know he loves. Your other hand comes up around his back, fingers scratching a gentle path up and down his spine. 
If Lando was a cat, he’d be purring right now. 
Instead he opts for an appreciative groan, pushing his nose back into the warm nook he’d created. His lips press against your skin—once, twice, a third time for good measure. “Thank you.” 
Whether he’s thanking you for scratching his back or for just being here for him on the days he feels like he’s not at his best, you’re not sure, but either way you give him a tight squeeze and another kiss in lieu of a response. 
You’ll do anything if it means making sure he knows you’ve always got him. 
follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post a new fic :)
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AITA for telling my friend that I did not care it made her upset about some of the things I did with my OCs?
I (18F) made OCs with my friends: Kayla (18F), Bell (18F), and Kia (18F). Kayla said that she had a system that had fictives in it. I didn't really understand what she meant by that, but I wasn't going to judge. At least for a little while. We added a discord bot that would help Kayla be able to talk through her different identities in the server. But it got weird.
One day I saw her talking as if she was one of my ocs (I'll dub Chi for this post) and I felt weirded out by that. Kayla then announced that Chi was part of her system. She goes on about how Chi had suddenly appeared in her system and it took 2 days before her other identities accepted her as part of them.
I said that it was weird that Kayla put one of my ocs in her system, but she insisted she wasn't doing it on purpose. Bell and Kia asked me to just knock it off and respect Kayla because "people with systems can't control it when their system changes." I said that I don't like that she has Chi in her system and that Chi was my OC. This felt like someone was stealing my OC from me. Kayla got upset about that and said "you're upsetting everyone in my system by saying Chi doesn't belong there. We have all accepted her and hearing you reject her makes us all upset. Please apologize."
I refused to. Then I remembered that I had shared all of Chi's info in my own personal channel. The others can view it, but they can't type in it. So I deleted everything about Chi in there and left a note that Chi was being revised. That sent Kayla into a panic. "Stop! You can't!" She kept saying and "What did you do?" over and over again. I simply said that I was making changes to Chi. Kayla freaked out more over that and said that it was making her system distressed and that I needed to stop. I told her that I already set my mind to it.
Later I reposted Chi's info with some changes. Changed her from being a kind and caring person to cruel and dismissive. I also made it so that she had a criminal history and had murdered people before. She has trouble making friends and thinks everyone is constantly out to get her. To be honest, I like this version of her more than her previous incarnation.
Kayla did not like this and had a meltdown. She started screaming "what did you do?! What did you do?! What did you do to Chi?!" In the voice call we were having with Bell and Kia. She started begging me to change her back because Chi stopped responding in her system and has vanished. And the rest of her identities were in a panic now. She said "Murderer. You killed her. You killed Chi. For us, this feels like someone just died. A part of us is missing. We feel incomplete now. Please fix this. BRING HER BACK! CHANGE HER BACK! MURDERER! MURDERER! YOU'RE A MURDERER!"
I told her that I refused to change her back and this was the new Chi. This would be how Chi will be from now on no matter what people said because "My OC, my rules."
Kayla logged off of discord after calling me an asshole. Even Bell and Kia are siding with her saying that I took it too far. They also said I was an asshole for murdering a part of Kayla's like that. I said that Chi was not Kayla's to control, and that only I should get a say in what is done with Chi. They called me an asshole for not considering Kayla and her system's feelings right now because they were all mourning.
I don't think I did anything wrong, but maybe I should apologize. I would still refuse to change Chi back to what she was before though. So it would just be a half apology just to make her happy.
AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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luludeluluramblings · 2 months
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Bruce Wayne’s Obsession with Smalltown!Reader (Alfred included)
A/N: So I just thought I’d throw this out there. Speak it into existence. Everything is liable to future editing, just a heads up. But, I’ll probably do this after each character falls into obsession. Help with writer’s block when it strikes or when motivation leaves.
Link to Revised Version
Warning(s): Yandere themes, Obsessive behavior
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Bruce is already obsessed with Reader.
That was his baby. He knew about them first and only gave them up because he couldn’t be Batman with a newborn.
Plus, Momma wasn’t one of the worst women he dated.
Yes, she was petty, keeping Reader selfishly and never sharing Reader with Bruce. But, she loved Reader, was mentally stable, and she was not some uptight socialite.
(Bruce considered proposing to her after he found out about Reader, but tossed that idea to the side once he realized that wasn’t rational.)
Bruce is mostly struggling with his jealously over a dead man.
Daddy.
Bruce wants what he had with Reader. Wants that bond so desperately.
That unconditional love and respect a child has for their parent.
Totally missing the fact that he avoids Reader because he can’t stand the thought of Batman tainting them, therefore neglecting that bond he desperately craves.
In fact, when Jason died, Reader was part of the reason he kept being Batman.
He deluded himself into thinking he was making Gotham safer for Reader. (Gotham is too dangerous. And, after Jason ‘died’, Bruce couldn’t stand the thought of Reader suffering the same fate.)
Bruce would indulge in his obsession, occasionally out of paranoia.
Once a year, specifically on Reader’s birthday, he would go full throttle detective stalker mode on Reader’s life.
Every social media post, search history, school records, medical records, etc.
For one day a year he would hunt everything digital or printed desperate to know his child and make sure they were safe.
And after, he’d delete everything from the hardware on the BatComputer.
He wouldn’t save anything out of fear that someone could discover something about Reader.
Someone could hack his computers. There could be no links that would connect Reader to him, and especially not to Batman.
Alfred would encourage this occasionally indulgence. Bruce would verbally share and show Alfred everything before erasing it.
Alfred cares deeply for Reader.
To him, Reader is the part of his family that heals the old wounds and the loss. Seeing them thrive, even at a distance, fills him with hope and relief.
Now, when Reader’s parents died Bruce’s (and Alfred’s) first thought was not that he finally had a chance to have Reader to himself.
It definitely was the second, though.
Bruce feels even more connected to Reader, because they both lost loving parents.
But, Bruce is so damn jealous of one of those dead parents.
Bruce also is trying to help Reader fit in with the Gotham elite, since it seems like Reader wants that based off of their Gotham Academy friends.
Buying couture designer clothing, a fancy car, and other little things.
Don’t worry though, he realizes that’s not how it works.
It’s not like Reader’s going to have those friends for much longer anyway.
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dedalvs · 13 days
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When will humankind learn the lesson of its hubris and begin to heal itself? Also can you recommend any undergraduate or graduate level resources (textbooks etc.) for learning about fiction? I already read Writing Fiction by Burroway. Thanks in advance
January 14, 3182. Make a note of the date and return to this post when it comes.
To your second question, I've never read anything on writing fiction, only writing in general. I've found something valuable in every book on writing, even if there were things in the book I found less valuable. For example, I read Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg, and while there was much of it I didn't care for, there are some passags that have stuck with me 22 years later. When it comes to writing guides, I think the best thing to do is read what interests you while understand that what you are really doing is building your own writing guide inside you. You're absorbing what you find personally meaningful and using it to create your own personal styleguide that, like it or not, you'll be following for the rest of your life. Rather than rejecting that, and trying to decide which text will be the text that tells you how to write, embrace it, realize that you are going to do what you're going to do, and then try to work within that framework. That is, if that's what's happening, how will you approach a styleguide? What will it mean to you to read a very didactic text (i.e. "All serious writers must do x; no serious writer every does y") vs. a loosey-goosey one (e.g. "Dance naked in the garden of your creativity and allow your flowers to bloom!")? What are you looking for in these texts and what will you do with information or strategies that you find valuable?
Returning to Writing Down the Bones, I have to say I found the book to be mostly woo. It was more a kind of self-help/empowerment book than a book on writing, in my opinion. But there is something in there that I'm sure I'd heard before but which finally resonated with me. Specifically, it was the way she articulated that it really, truly doesn't matter what you put on the page when you're drafting. Drafting is not the time to reject. Even some idea comes to you that you find absurd, illogical, thematically inappropriate—whatever. It's not the time to push it away. Indeed, it's wasted effort. Editing and revising is the time to question. If you're writing, you shouldn't let anything stop you—even your own brain.
Why it took till then for this idea to take root, I don't know. It could be how she worded it. It could be that it came at the right time. Perhaps I was more open to new ideas when I was reading this book. It may also have something to do with a transition that had taken place for me in writing. After all, when I started high school, I was not regularly using a computer (we'd only just gotten a computer that stayed at home). When I started writing, I wrote by hand—on paper. It's a much, much different thing to edit and revise when you're writing on paper than it is on when you're working on a computer! I mean, digital real estate is cheap. When you're writing by hand, it can literally hurt to write seven or eight pages—and then to discard them in editing! Right now I'm working on a novel draft where I've decided an entire section needs to come out. If I'd written that by hand?! I can't even imagine.
I guess the tl;dr of it is I don't have a specific text to recommend. Rather, I encourage you to look around and grab anything that interests you. In doing so, though, I encourage you to approach it differently, focusing on what in it you find valuable, without either wholly rejecting it or feeling you have to follow it to the letter like an Ikea manual. I even found something valuable in C. S. Lewis's The Abolition of Man, which I honestly can't believe I read.
If you'd like some fiction advice that may be generally useful no matter what you're writing, this is what I can offer:
A valuable skill to hone is being able to read your work as if you have no other knowledge of it. In other words, you need to be able to read your work like a reader. One of the most difficult things to do with fiction is to cut. You usually have a lot more characterization, a lot more plot points, a lot more detail, etc. than end up on the page. The important question is if you cut something, will the reader notice? Will it actually feel like something's miss it, or will a reader never notice? Mind, I'm not saying that as a writer you can't tell if something is superfluous, or that anything you cut will be superfluous. I'm saying sometimes even if you cut something important a reader will still get the impression that what they are reading is whole and unedited. That isn't a good thing or a bad thing: it's a neutral thing. The question you'll have to answer is what is this whole that the reader is getting, and is that whole something you're satisfied with?
Get multiple rounds of feedback from many different readers. I say this not because it's vital, because beta readers are important, because you have to have multiple perspectives on your work, etc. None of that. Getting feedback from many different readers is a form of self-care on the part of the writer. I was deathly afraid of feedback as a young writer. I welcomed praise, sure, but anything else felt too painful to bear. This changed when I took a short fiction class at Berkeley. Suddenly a short story of mine wasn't getting one round of feedback: it was getting fourteen. And not just from the professor, but from fellow students. This was a minor revolution for me in terms of accepting feedback. If I were to take, say, one round of feedback, certainly there would be some praise, but there would also be notes like "awkward phrasing", "why did x character do y?", "this is unclear", "too much description", etc. These things would burn me. I would seethe reading them, and it would hurt so deeply. But! Imagine that one of them circles a paragraph and writes "too much description" and then the other thirteen readers say absolutely nothing at all about that paragraph—maybe one even puts a smiley face next to it. THAT puts the criticism in its proper context. Maybe your writing isn't too bad! Maybe there isn't too much description. Maybe that particular reader just wasn't vibing with it, and maybe that's okay. And then let's look at it from the other perspective. Say thirteen out of fourteen papers have a sentence marked and all of them say things like "huh?", "what's this mean?", "confusing", etc. Guess what? The sentence is probably confusing. And for some reason if everyone's saying the same thing it hurts a lot less. It means, yeah, you probably made a little mistake, and that's okay. It's not one person singling you out, and it's not the case that they don't know what they're talking about. I can't emphasize enough how freeing it is to look at reviews of your work if you have a handful or more to draw from rather than just a single good friend.
It's okay to write the fun part first. You may have a plot device you're really excited about, but to get there, you have to introduce your characters, have them get together, have them go to a place, meet someone else, etc. And it may take time and energy to write all that. You may feel pressured to get through that before you get to the part you really want to write. You certainly can, but you do not have to. I don't know if younger writers can appreciate exactly what it means to have a computer. You can write a little bit now and literally copy and paste it into some other document later. Try doing that with a typewriter! You can write something like "Insert paragraphs later of characters traveling to x location". You can even drop a variable in there so it's easy to find with the search function later (e.g. "ZZZZZ insert scene description here"—now you just need to search for "ZZZZZ"). You can put it in a different color on the screen so it's easy to find when scrolling. You can paste a freaking photo into your document! It's extraordinary what you can do with a computer that you couldn't do in years past. You've got a ton of options. But most importanly, when your work is done, no one will know what order you wrote it in.
In fiction, nothing has to happen. Villains don't have to be punished; heroes don't have to win; characters don't have to have a specific arc that comes to some conclusion. Honestly, one of the tropes (if you can even call it a trope) that I find most frustrating in sequels for movie franchises is after the characters are introduced, they take a few character and assign to them the major story conflict, and then for the rest, they give them a mini arc. It's like, "Mondo 2: Exploding the Mondoverse sees our hero Larjo Biggins take on new villain the Krunge as the very core of the Mondoverse is threatened with destruction! Also, Siddles Nuli learns its okay to be left out sometimes and she shouldn't get her feelings hurt, and Old Mucko learns that even though technology is advancing, sometimes good old fashioned common sense is just what the doctor ordered!" If you get to the end of your story, and you feel it's done, you don't have to panic if you suddenly realize we don't know whether Hupsi ever made it to Bumbus 7. It's okay if Story A is resolved but Story B is not.
I don't care if you used Trope A in your new story even though you used Trope A in your past seven stories and neither should you. Seriously, you think anyone was complaining when Agatha Christie put out another mystery novel? "Oh. Mystery again, huh? Gee, we were all hoping you'd write a book about the struggles traditional fishing villages are facing in the wake of industrial modernization." No we fucking weren't!
I hope you find some of this useful. Whether you did or not, though, be sure you enjoy what you're doing. If you are, you're doing the right thing.
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charmedreincarnation · 9 months
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Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.
Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!
A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!
Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.
I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.
So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.
Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.
The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.
Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.
I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.
There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”
Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.
Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.
Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.
During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.
Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.
Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.
As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.
Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.
Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭
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Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.
Read this post.
This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes
“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.
And I was successful!
This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.
Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.
Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.
Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.
Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!
I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”
Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.
Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.
And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.
The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.
I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.
Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.
I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭
I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.
But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??
Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)
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c4qwp · 8 months
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felix catton x fem!reader
| he falls hard for you
📎 tags : fluff, female reader, felix being older than you by a year, fanon of felix bc i’m such a bad writer guys, bad orthography, (my first post…), felix being a fucking cutie patootie, (y/n) not mentioned
📎 words count : oof idk but not a lot 💀🔥🔥🔥😜😜😜
📎 author's note : this is my first post (so first story), don’t hesitate to comment to help me to progress! english isn’t my first language, idk if felix is fanon but i tried my best to write him like i how i see him
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felix was a charming, flirty, wealthy and captivating man. everyone loved him. everyone wanted to be around him. it exhausted him. people just wouldn't leave him alone. especially the girls. but he didn’t care about them, you were the exception.
you've only known felix for 6 months, but that hasn't stopped you from liking each other's personalities —and physiques. you're a new student from california studying at oxford, and the handsome british guy hasn't stopped coming to see you to find out more about you.
it all started with a laugh he heard in the hallway. a cute one he thought. and that's how he first saw you.
"hello?" you called loudly when you noticed eyes on you.
the sunlight illuminated felix perfectly as he met your gaze. you were just too cute. your doe eyes watching him while scanning him up and down due to his height.
"hey sorry- ive never seen you here before, are you new?" he asked.
as you were telling your friend to wait for you, an other guy appeared besides the stranger.
"felix where the fuck have you been mate??" a man with curly hair said.
"dude i’m busy let’s talk later" felix replied.
"hey sor-"
and you were gone.
felix didn’t even catch your name and it disappointed him. he likes to meet new people, even more when they’re cute like you.
a month passed after this rather short meeting. as you were revising in the library, a voice called out to you.
"oh hey arent you the new student?"
felix. you heard about him, only good thingd though. you’ve met him but his — pretty face, made you speechless. you felt shy in front of him. now there you are, sitting like an idiot and saying nothing. gosh.
"oh — uhmm hey!" you relied a bit nervously.
"hey! sorry i think we'd met before but hadn't talked more" he said.
"yes i remember." you introduced yourself and smiled.
"i’m felix catton nice to meet you as well" he smiled in turn.
"yeahh i heard about you, felix" you smirked and closed your book.
"oh yeah? i hope you've heard good things about me haha" he said.
"mmhh who knows?" you teased him.
while there was a small blank, he glimpsed your book.
"wait aint no way you’re reading harry potter?!" he said, trying to whisper as much as possible so as not to disturb the other students.
"way. i really like reading books. they're better than movies. and this is not the first time that i’m reading it." you replied.
"it’s my favorite book and it feels good to meet someone who thinks the same about it." he said with a big smile on his face.
it was getting late and you had to get back to your dorm to phone your best friend, who unfortunately wasn't at the same university as you. you exchanged phone numbers and then left.
one day.
one fucking day.
you two were apart for only a day. he sent you the first message and you answered them. he couldn't stop thinking about your smile, your eyes and your voice. it was the same for you.
even though you'd only been messaging each other for 2 weeks, he asked you if you wanted to go out somewhere. of course, you agreed and offered to go for a coffee to take a break from studying.
you put on a beautiful white summer dress that showed off your body.
‘i hope i’m not overdoing it...’ you thought.
03:17PM
"i’m so sorry for being late—…" you whispered to the man with a glass of soda against his lips, letting him know you were tired and done with the conversation. your eyes sparkling with joy, your lips curling up into a gleeful smile when you locked eyes with the person you had been craving to see all evening. he hadn't missed one night, not a single one. he was right on time. right there to stay with you, make you feel comfortable, talk to you all night.
you'd laugh, he'd watch.
he'd talk, you'd listen.
"no no don’t wo—" as he turned to answer you, he was stunned by your beauty.
his eyes wandered up and down your face. you noticed him and smiled at him.
‘i hate the way you make me feel — my chest begin to tighten when my eyes lock onto yours, yet i find it merely impossible to look away.’
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potatomountain · 3 months
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Reassure Me Birthday Boy
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💜 Pairing: Choi San x afab reader
💜 Au: Idol au
💜 Genre: light fluff, light angst, and smut.
💜 Rating: M for 18+ content
💜 Word Count: 2.9k
💜 Warnings/tags: established relationship, oral (fem receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms. use of condoms.
💜 Synopsis: You just wanted to see your idol boyfriend for his birthday.
💜 A/N: So I technically wrote this back for San's birthday around Guerilla promotions and have revised it for San's birthday this time [I lowkey can't believe I wrote his gift like that 2 years before aniteez came out too] - So Happy Birthday to the man who technically inspired my username 🥰💜
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It was a bit disappointing that your boyfriend was so busy on his birthday, too busy to send you much of a text. While you understood, and it wasn’t like your relationship was public, it was still a bit disappointing. Just on the off chance you might see him though, you had gone shopping that morning for a birthday gift for him, spent an hour wrapping it up and getting tape somehow in your hair. It was a messy process but his gift was wrapped up and set on your small coffee table in your equally small apartment.
The rest of the day was spent first turning in the rest of your documents for work and then laying in bed on social media, post after post wishing him a happy birthday. That’s what happens when you are secretly dating an Idol.
Choi San of Ateez, the visual dancer with beautiful vocals and striking features. You were lucky to go from fan to friend to lover over a year ago, but there were times you wished you had stayed friends. Today might’ve been one of those days.
Working alongside Idols regularly you knew how it was, and you accepted that this was how it had to be; but it was his birthday, you at least wanted to see him.
Shutting the apps on your phone down you checked your messages once more, the last one you sent had been over three hours ago and left on read which was after his live. You watched it, wished him happy birthday again, got a quick response and then zoned out so as not to pay attention to the thousands of comments from other fans. Were you being sulky? Yes, and you felt horrible for it.
You checked your phone one more time, rereading your last messages once again.
Still no reply.
Baby Girl:
(20:12) If you get a chance I have a gift for you. 
(20:13) [attachment sent]
Setting the phone on the charger you got up to start your nightly routine. Shower, skin care, brushing your teeth, etc. By the time you left the bathroom in your robe you were tired, and more than mentally exhausted. You barely took a few steps into your bedroom before jumping and letting out a squeal. “Fudge, don't scare me like that!”
San, your beautiful boyfriend in all his glory, was sitting on your bed holding the gift box you had tirelessly wrapped, grinning despite how tired he looked. “I thought you would be happy to see me.”
Of course you were, more than you wanted to admit to him. He was so kind, if he knew  how upset you had been earlier he would blame himself, and you didn’t want that. Smiling, you made your way over and sat down next to him, resting your head on his shoulder. “I missed you a lot, I always do. How was your birthday?”
“Good. Can I open this?” He shook the box with childlike excitement, hearing nothing shake inside.
You nodded, smiling up at him. “Go ahead. Be careful with the wrap, I slaved away for that.” You huffed out, then pointed to your hair. “The tape assaulted me, not fun.”
“My beautiful girlfriend worked hard for me? I am the luckiest.” Despite his obvious excitement he was careful with the wrap, but you really didn’t care. Even after being together for months his compliments still had your cheeks burning in seconds. After all, who wouldn’t feel special when such an amazing man called them beautiful? It was no surprise you had fallen so hard for him so fast, even if you spent most of your time here in your apartment when you were actually together; the whole reason you had given him a spare key.
He had a few bits of his things in a drawer, and would drop by at all kinds of different hours between his schedule. Sometimes he would practice here and you’d cheer him on, or he would just rest while you were at work. Those moments meant the world to you, but were proof that not even his groupmates or his company knew about you.
The jolt of despair that shot through you was quickly covered up by happiness as San opened the box to reveal the large purple cat plush you had gotten him. He was clearly happy, even more so by the chocolate and new game you had rigorously taped to the back of the box so that they wouldn’t move when he shook it like earlier.
Seeing him happy, knowing you put that smile on his face, made this all worth it. Right?
San’s expression fell when he looked at you, panic etched into his eyes as he set the plush down and turned to cup your now wet cheeks. “Hey hey, why are you crying?”
It wasn’t worth it. “I missed you. So much. San, does no one know you are here? No one at all? Your manager or your members? Am I really just a well kept secret?” You knew you were being selfish, wanting more than you could have of him.  This is what it’s like dating an idol, you knew that.
“Of course not- How do you think I got here? Manager drives? And the others? I don’t want you to meet them.” He gently wiped away your tears, keeping your head cradled in his hands. 
“Why not? Aren’t they the biggest part of your life right now?” You grabbed his wrists to push him away, guilt twisting your stomach further with the other plethora of emotions swirling about. You weren’t being fair to him, you should really stop-
But this was important to you, and it would be unhealthy not to communicate it- even if it does hurt.
Even if it hurts him, which you could see it was. “B-Because I don’t want to share you with them. You’re my special person, baby girl. I know that’s selfish but I want you all to myself.”
You huffed out, flattered but peeved by his words. “I have to share you with them and the entirety of the fandom, how do you think that makes me feel?  S-sometimes I don’t even get to talk with you for long, w-we just fuck, a-and that doesn’t feel okay to me. So much of my life revolves around you already Sannie, I want to be in yours a bit more.”
Seeing the way your words rattled him had you feeling even shittier, sobbing out as you pushed his hands away. “I don’t want them to come here.”
“They don’t have to.” You argued back, sniffling.
He thought for a minute, mulling over your words before offering up: “Group chat?”
“It’s a start.” You nodded, instantly feeling a bit better. “I-I don’t want you to think you need to go public for me San, I know how this industry works and I don’t want that. B-but your members, your manager, I at least want to know them, to know about our relationship.”
“They do! Woo teases me all the time when I get sulky because I miss you.” He took my hands in his, leaning closer as he groaned. “They are going to tell you so many embarrassing stories. Why am I agreeing to this?”
“Because you love me?” It was a joke you offered, the tears slowing to a stop as he had rambled. The idea of the others teasing him because he was missing you sounded so cute.
“Of course I love you.” Your train of thought died at his low, and serious, admission. “I don’t want to make a mistake that costs me you, so I’ll do anything I can. Even putting up with their teasing. But if they tease you, tell me and I will make them regret bullying my baby girl.”
Your heart swelled at the pet name, cheeks flushing. “You are the only one allowed to bully me San.” Removing your hands from his as you climbed onto his lap and wrapped your body around his. “I love you too, you big idiot. I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you and your closest friends.”
“Next year we can definitely do that. Maybe I can convince them to let me bring you on tour sometime.” His arms wrapped around your waist as he held you tight against him, placing soft kisses against the nape of your neck.
You giggled, turning your head to nibble softly on his ear as payback. “That would be nice but you don’t have to. J-just include me a bit more? A-and reassure me when I’m sad that you love me. D-definitely that bit.”
He had hissed under his breath at your teasing, his hands moving lower down your back to rub your bum. “Can I reassure you this way?”
You pulled your head back to meet his gaze, blushing at the heat just beneath the love in his eyes. “Choi San was this your intention all along?”
“Nooo-” pouting, he moved his hands back up. “I just wanted to see my beautiful girlfriend but it just so happens she has confessed her undying love to me in nothing but a bathrobe, on my birthday no doubt. I want to shower her with my love in every way I possibly can tonight, do I have her permission?”
Your lips curled up into a sly smile, hands grabbing his wrists to push his grip back down to your rear while you spread your legs a bit wider. “When you put it that way- show me what you got baby boy.”
“Baby boy?” he repeated the words with a purr before flipping you over so you laid flat on your back beneath him. He always took your breath away when you were beneath him like this, making you feel small with his wide shoulders but also protected- safe. “Is that a challenge?” Even when he teased.
“Do you want it to be?” You smirked, glancing down to watch him undo the tie around your robe and push the fabric open. You glanced back up to see the subtle change in his features, the set of his jaw and desire burning in his eyes that scoped down your body.
San had a way of making you feel so absolutely beautiful and perfect, with just a glance or a smile or a few words. Why would you want the rest of the world to know about these moments? To even think about them between you? The intimacy you shared, and now the love, was only yours. Thinking about it that way filled you with a sudden intense need for him, just him. “San-” You reached up, gripped the back of his neck, and pulled him down to crash your lips against his in a heated kiss.
A fire ignited between you, and a sudden urgency that had his hands undoing his pants and pushing them down. Even if he freed himself, you knew there was no intention to get the deed done so fast even if you felt such an urgency for the other. 
Your hands gripped the hair on the back of his neck, back arching to press your chest against his only to have him push you back down and tear his lips from yours. Before you could sulk or protest he captured one peak between his lips, swirling and flicking his tongue the way he knew you liked it. San had figured out your ticks and kinks faster than you had, and he enjoyed using them to torture and tease you endlessly. 
Your heart was already racing, breathing heavier just from that one kiss and the ministrations of his tongue on your breasts. From one peak to the other, his hands running down your sides to hook your knees around his shoulders. You blushed, a small whimper escaping as you knew where this was headed. 
Gentle kisses down your abdomen and over your navel, holding you still by the hips when you shivered at the touch. You glanced down only to meet his gaze through his lashes, heating up your face. San had a way with expressions, with his eyes, and that had been apparent when you had just been a fan; they were much hotter in the bedroom, especially with his face inches from your center, hot breath cascading over the skin that grew slicker by the second.
You opened your mouth to speak, either beg or plea, when all sounds died in your throat the moment his tongue flicked your clit. He made a sound much like a purr before pressing his lips and tongue closer, working a moan out of you rather quickly. He would usually take his time, each flick and twist of his tongue deliberate and tortuous, made specifically to drive you as close to a climax as he could just to stop when you were shaking and pleading. This time he seemed to have other ideas, or perhaps was simply too impatient.
There was an urgency to his movements that was just hot, which you would’ve commented on if you weren't gasping and pulling at the sheets from the added pleasure of not one- but two fingers curling inside you. “S-shit San! I-” He had gone right for your sweet spot, fingers rubbing  and spreading you wide, preparing you for what was to come. The added bonus on slicking those fingers with your own cum seconds later was also nice.
Your body was still shaking as he pulled out and away, making eye contact as he licked those two fingers clean. Even in your dazed state the effect was still what he wanted- San really knew how to drive you crazy. Not wanting to let you have a second of repreve, his thumb rubbed your swollen nub while he reached over into the night stand for one of the condoms you kept there. Skillfully he kept up his work while pulling the condom on, showing off his cock in the process. You hadn’t touched him, and he was already so hard for you: that alone was such a big compliment and show of his desire for you.
After kicking off his pants you reached for him, watching him climb back onto the bed and push your legs up and wide so your body was on display for him. Not that you minded, in fact you loved it. He claimed you as his with a glance, lips parted as he rubbed himself against your wet folds to both tease you and lube himself up, all for proper preparation. Even in his impatience, he took his time to do each thing right, to make sure every second was as enjoyable as it should be, leaving no room for discomfort. 
“San-” Breathing his name you motioned for him with your fingers, only to gasp out as he slid in. First an inch, then the whole thing. Your hand dropped and head fell back to revel at the pleasure that one thrust had caused.
“I want to watch you baby girl, and I want to hear you.” His fingers gripped the back of your knees, holding your legs open and beginning his relentless thrusts not even a breath later. Thankfully you had a nice enough apartment so the sounds wouldn’t be heard by your neighbors; you indulged his request and didn’t try to hide a single sound. Which, you quickly realized would have been impossible anyways with the way he was fucking you.
Every thrust hit deep, and he wasn’t pulling any punches. Hard and fast, the bed shook with each movement adding to the erotic orchestra of your moans and skin slapping skin.The hottest sounds were his little grunts and groans, the pants you both let out, and his little words of encouragement as he pushed you over the edge and had you coming once more. He shifted, straightening both of your legs to dangle your feet over his right shoulder, hugging your thighs tight together. The subtle change in position hit different, hit harder, on your already sensitive cunt.
“I love you.” He pushed your legs forward to capture your moaning mouth with his in a sloppy, needy kiss. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, keeping him there as you were quickly approaching another high. Sweat glistened off both of you, soaking his shirt and your robe, your lungs working to keep up with your strenuous and pleasurable activity; your nails dug into his back to hold him there, head falling to the side to let out a string of moans and breathless sounds.
“I love you- I love you Choi San! I- aahh!” Your cries cut off as waves of ecstasy coursed through you, body tensing around him and holding him tighter. He moaned against your ear, pumping his hips a few more times as he shook out the last of his own climax into the condom. 
That moment was more precious than any other time you held each other in this embrace, shaking from your own ecstasy. Precious enough he waited a moment before pulling himself off to dispose of the condom and grab a clean towel for you both while you laid there attempting to find your breath and a normal heart rate once more.
Moments later you were curled in each other's arms, naked under the sheet with your foreheads pressed together. You stared at each other wearing goofy grins and hearts in our eyes. These moments it was just you two, the rest of the world gone. He was just Choi San, your boyfriend and love of your life; and you were his.
He snuggled his head under your chin and held you close, humming softly.  “Definitely the best birthday ever.”
Taglist (Form): @candypop1611 | @vannabanana1995  | @piratequeen-queenofgames | @starstruckforyou
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| @minheeskitten | @sousydive | @alextheweeb7 | @thesafecafe | @euphoricem
| @meepsters-world | @mysticfire0435 | @yejisuu | @apriecotte | @amphiroxx 
| @cloudysannie | @sugarnspice630 | @isiloiale | @plutoneu | @venn-ie
| @therealcuppicake | @lavishloving | @pearltinyy | @vampiregirl215
| @heihaneul | @gugggu6gvai | @oddinaryxfever | @smally97 | @pandagirl-016
| @hecateslittlewitchling | @arinyyy | @lovelgirl22 | @stayatinykatsy | @noone356097 |
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thelilypit · 13 days
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"The screenshot of the She-Ra artbook", you say? This screenshot that you've thrown about before? This screenshot of a highly blurry page with no context or authorial credits?
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That's really funny, because... She-Ra and the Princess of Power never had an official artbook. Certainly none written or compiled by N.D. Stevenson. There were plans to assemble an unofficial artbook at one point - I don't believe this ever went to print, but you can tell that the design style is nothing like the above
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So... where does the "Catradora are sisters" image come from then? I did a touch of digging and found this:
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(Image links to tumblr post that goes into a little more detail) So this was a picture in a New York Times article (link to an archived version, which unfortunately doesn't include said image although you can see where it would go). Rather than an artbook, these are... pieces of paper on a wall? Oh! This is from a media day that predates the airing of the first season. It has nothing to do with an artbook, and we have no idea who in the She-Ra staff would have written these blurbs or assembled these pages. We certainly cannot say that it was written by N.D. Stevenson, She-Ra's creator. You know what we do have, though? Direct from the creator? An interview with N.D. Stevenson about this very subject, featuring special guest star Rebecca Sugar, even!
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(Deadname revised in screenshot) Maybe you should stop calling them sisters, Lily, that's kind of lesbophobic of you. Also, stop lying Lily.
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igotlovestruck · 1 year
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LIPS OF AN ANGEL | MM19
↳ TYPE: ig au (written scenario will follow!)
↳ PAIRING: mason mount x fem! wolff! reader
↳ DETAILS AND WARNINGS: angst (more to be added on the main fic!)
↳ AUTHOR’S NOTE: here you go! 😵‍💫 after months omg, i’ve finally had the energy to do this after several revisions n all hahahaha pls wait for the main fic as i’m still writing it, but here’s a lil preview! enjoy <3
↳ TAGGED: @i83andrew @pleasantducktimetravel
—.
fcgossips
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liked by user1, user2, user3 and others
fcgossips [sent anonymously]
mason mount spotted with model lia mendes last night in london!
it seems as though mason mount has found himself back to the dating game amidst the breakup rumors with toto wolff’s daughter, y/n wolff. it was reported that the pair has separated ways 4 months ago after y/n deleted all posts and unfollowed the football star; although there was no confirmation happened between the two parties.
we wish mason and his current partner the best 💗
view all 492 comments
user4 that looks so much like y/n lol
user5 i went y/n DOOP as soon as i saw her lmao
user6 *she cuz she’s a freaking PERSON and no she doesn’t look anything like y/n!
user7 seems like mason has a type 🤭
user8 convincing myself that l*a is his getaway car
user9 leave them alone, pretty sure mason wouldn’t appreciate the things yall call her gf
user10 lmao i was thinking the same thing!
masonmount
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liked by cmpulisic, declanrice, liamendes and others
masonmount recents.
view all 2,829 comments
liamendes meu amor 💗
— ❤️ by masonmount
masonmount 💗
user11 omg no way (i mean this in a very nice and genuine way)
user12 ... so it’s really over with y/n huh?
user13 y/n dupe
ynwolff
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liked by yourbffsig, susie_wolff, yourmomsig and others
ynwolff life lately
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yourbffsig girl i miss u get tf up 😮‍💨
ynwolff lmao visit me at my new place <3
yourbffsig omw 🏃🏻‍♀️
ynwolff come fast before i go back to work this week !?
yourmomsig my beautiful daughter ❤️ all you do is sleep, sweetie 😂
ynwolff been sleeping a lot lately to avoid reality and recent news, ma 🤭 miss you <3
susie_wolff glad you’ve adjusted to the new place, that bed looks comfortable! enjoy 😍
ynwolff thank you for helping me move in, susie 😙 (and jackie too, pls tell him to sleepover sometimes!)
user14 not y/n posting minutes after mason confirmed his relationship 😭
user15 she’s unbothered lmao
user16 stop associating him with her, they’re over ffs
user17 user16 no, yall should stop associating him with her <3
user18 some girls are mourning over y/n and mason’s breakup and here she is sleeping most of the time 😂 welcome back to ig luv 💞
user19 ofc u announce ur return to ig by posting pics of u sleeping 😭 missed u here queen :)
ynwolff it’s all i’ve been doing the past few months <3 jk hahaha
user20 will we be seeing you back in the paddock? 😭
ynwolff hmm maybe 😉
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moodymisty · 2 months
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[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]
Author's note: Inspired by this post here. I only did one quick revise, so forgive any mistakes
Relationships: One sided Horus/Fem!Reader, Implied Lorgar/Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFW, Slightly yandere, Pregnancy kink, Tokophobia, Is this... is this kidnapping? Horus took you to punish Lorgar on Kor Phaeron's (and probably emps lol) advice, Male masturbation, Horus jacking it to you being his lover instead of Lorgar's because he is ~normal~, Very thinly veiled breeding kink, A very vague comment about reader being 'well fed'
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So I beg of you, Warmaster Horus, help me right Lorgar before he goes further down this path. I truly believe you are one of the only men who can help him before he is truly lost. - Captain Kor Phaeron of the Word Bearers
A Luna Wolf captain stands having given Horus this letter- hand written. A odd act considering the ease of vox or other forms of Imperium communication, but perhaps the context of the letter gave the choice more sense.
“May I ask what the letter entails, Warmaster? The Word Bearer was quite insistent it be delivered with the upmost haste.”
Horus understands why. This is indeed something that needs fixing. Lorgar has gone down a path that is in opposition of their crusade. Things are corrupting his mind, and they need to be cut out like a malignancy before they take over him completely.
“...It is about Primarch Lorgar.”
The Luna wolf nods. He accepts that is all Horus will tell him, though if the Astartes says anything else, it is lost on Horus. He leaves moments after, hearing the sound of the door open and close. He doesn't look up to see, as his eyes focus on the material Kor Phaeron send with this handwritten letter.
The picts are small between his fingers, but the image is as clear as can be.
You are beautiful.
You are very pregnant.
As Lorgar’s beloved your dress is ornate and intricate, and does nothing to hide the swell of your massive belly. If anything it almost seems to compliment it- gold filigree dances around the edges of the fabric sewn to give way to your ever growing belly.
To see that they- the Primarchs - can have children is… It struck something in him that he can’t explain.
To have a child, an actual child; his own creation and not a spliced together genetic abomination related to him by science only. He can see why Lorgar has lost his way, and this needs to be corrected.
He’ll do this deed for Kor Phaeron; For The Emperor who is already concerned about Lorgar's lack of progress. But he's not doing it for them, not for the Word Bearers. It's because Horus wants to be selfish. He wants you.
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On Terra it rains, droplets streaking down every bit of glass and metal. It pitter patters like music, covering the droll humming of machinery and shaking of pipes. You remain completely dry however, protected by the golden walls and ceilings of the Terran palace.
You've only just arrived, escorted to him from a Luna Wolf dropship. The trip was long are arduous, and he's thankful you survived it unharmed.
You look even more striking that you had in the picts Kor Phaeron and sent to him. The first sight he has of you, face to face, is enough to make him feel something in his chest.
Your skin is healthy and glowing, eyes bright. Lorgar has clearly been feeding you quite well, your hips are full and round.
Horus comes closer intent to greet you and watches the way you don't make eye contact with him, shaking and holding your hands together tightly. His guards he had requested to escort you have since left on his orders, leaving you both to have a moment of privacy.
“Do you need anything?” He says with a smile and a gentle tilt to his voice, warm and inviting.
And yet the look you give him when you glance up is absolutely fear stricken. He softly smiles, trying to blunt his edges.
"Perhaps I should've started with a proper introduction, instead of putting you on a pedestal so quickly. I am Horus Lupercal. Warmaster." His head tilts downward slightly, smile gentle. The pelt wrapped around his shoulders shifts.
"I believe you already know my brother, and quite well."
He takes a knee to stand at level with you, and he can see a marginal amount of fear leave you as he enters an area closer to your own headspace. He supposes it's understandable. You've only known Lorgar- he has made very sure the other primarchs were unaware of you - and in your current state, he can see why this would all be so overwhelming. Primarchs are not just anyone, they can overwhelm even the most stalwart of humans.
You aren't just a normal human however, as you've so easily demonstrated already.
“I apologize for, all of this. But Lorgar needs to calm down and be spoken to without distractions. I’m afraid your condition has blinded him to his own duties.” Horus smiles at you.
“You are a smart woman, I know you are. You know that Lorgar has things he needs to do for the sake of this Imperium you live in.”
You look away from him for a moment, left hand wrapping over your right wrist as they rest on your belly.
"I didn't know he was shirking his duties to you, if I did I would've..." You hesitate, conflicted.
Horus sighs.
Lorgar put so much on such a young, beautiful human, and now you has to deal with the consequences of his own mistakes. Even if you aren't the one who is being punished, reprimanded, warned, you- and your unborn child - are still affected by all of this.
Ever so gently he takes a risk, reaching a hand forward to cup your arm. You don’t wilt away and so he’s pleased, feeling the warmth of your skin.
“Please do not think you are a prisoner here. I merely wish to make sure you are the safest you can be while you are not with Lorgar."
You nod at him, giving him just the slightest smile as he pulls his hand away. But only partly, as it hovers in the air between the both of your bodies.
“May I?” That smile fades as you look at him confused, before realizing what he's asking.
“Oh, sure. I think they're asleep though, so you might not be able to feel anything.”
With your approval gained he puts his hand to your belly, and watches his palm cover so much of it. It takes a moment, before he can feel it. Even if your child is asleep, he can feel what a normal human cannot.
The soft movement against his palm, the shifting of your baby. The gentle thrum of it's heartbeat.
Something pulls at Horus from deep within himself, keeping his hand welded to your stomach until your eyes move from watching his hand on your belly, and he has to pull away to save face. He places the same hand on his thigh as he kneels, and gives you a wide, warm smile.
“Please, do not be afraid to tell me any of your needs. Myself, my Luna Wolves, and the serfs of the palace are here for you.” The declaration shocks you, a reaction he hadn’t entirely expected. He just gave you so much ability, and he barely knows you.
“Warmaster that is-“ “Horus, is fine.”
You purse your lips for a moment. You're so overwhelmed by this all he can tell. With time you'll settle though, he's sure of it. You're just tired and nervous from your long trip, and being so, so far away from Lorgar.
“I, I thank you for your support, I am forever in your debt.” Horus laughs.
Would you let him feel your belly again? Could he get away with asking to put his ear to it, to hear the heartbeat of a half primarch so closely?
“Nonsense, you are the beloved of one my dear brothers; I only wish to make your time here as comfortable as I am able.”
You let show an actual, real smile- your face glows. Horus sees what Lorgar has been distracted by; Horus would find himself having trouble as well.
Suddenly however you grimace, letting out a whimper and holding your belly. Horus becomes alight with worry, instinctively reaching a hand out to you that grasps your arm once again.
“Are you ok?!” He says, as you soon gather yourself and nod.
“Yes, sorry sometimes they just kick really hard.”
Horus recovers from the startle and laughs. He dares to lean closer, and returns a gentle hand to your belly. He does a few soothing, circling motions. You seem much less unnerved by him now, you smile a bit as he soothes your belly and speaks to it.
“You should be careful in there, little one. You are stronger than your mother, you might just hurt her.” Horus then soon tears himself away, and rises to his feet.
“I have other business to attend to; But please, don’t be afraid to ask the serfs for anything you need.”
Horus takes a brisk pace away, walking down the hall towards his own chambers. He doesn't make a single stop or even look in the direction of another soul, opening the massive door to his most private chambers. The door shuts behind him with a slam, and Horus lets out a breath now that he’s truly alone.
A part of him regrets agreeing to be the one to punish Lorgar; To take you from him and become the villain in this story. Another part of him is glad to, if not only to feel a part of his soul stir to life.
The buttons on the front of his trousers are easy to undo, and he can feel the outline of his own cock straining desperately against the fabric. It had irritated him the entire way here, no matter how hard he tried to ignore the way he ached against his thigh.
Once he manages to free himself, he takes a seat at the massive desk made custom for him and wraps a hand around his cock, feeling himself twitch against his palm at even the slightest touch. Precum leaks from the tip of his cock as he slides his hand against his shaft, groaning and using his other hand to grip the edge of the table.
You were so much more perfect than he imagined. Now he understands why Lorgar was so intent on keeping you hidden from them.
A selfish man, a shame he got to you first. Horus would make sure you got to see the world, meet all of his brothers and show them just how lucky he was. How beautiful and smart you were.
How you were so able to handle him, a primarch. Out of all of them, only Lorgar was the one to find love.
He can feel the the stickiness of his own precum leak on his fingers, slicking his cock. It's not enough though, and so he pulls his palm away to give an undignified, uncharacteristic spit into his palm before wrapping his hand back around his throbbing cock.
Lorgar! A selfish, whiny brat of a man who cares about paltry religions and gods rather than The Emperor's orders. How, out of all of them, was he the one to find someone that was able to handle being around a primarch?
His palm now slicker he groans at the way his hand much more smoothly rubs against his own shaft, toes curling his boots.
Horus isn’t jealous, he’s angry, he thinks. Angry that it turned out this way. If Lorgar hadn’t been a lying, secretive little snake, perhaps you would’ve had the chance to consider... better options. Horus would've been quick to charm you, to wow you with all the things he could give you and how he could make you feel.
He’s the Warmaster; he could give you anything you ever wanted, and you’d never be safer. On Colchis, he was able to pluck you from your beloved with one stern talking to.
Horus groans as his lower body tightens, cock leaking all over his hand. He's so close, he just needs a bit more.
Thankfully it was him to take you. Not someone like Russ, or Konrad.
Horus can keep you safe, until Lorgar does what needs to be done without all of these distractions. If you were his, it would be a wonder if he wasn’t always thinking about that perfect, round belly of yours.
He fists his cock faster with each second, grip tighter. He chases the high- his thighs tensed- so close. His breathing is heavier, deeper, harsh breathes through his nose.
He doubts Lorgar will ever fix his problems, however.
That would mean you would stay with him permanently; He would have no issues with that, he can make the preparations. For the short and the long term. You're surely due to have that child any day now, he'll make sure not a thing goes wrong.
Horus can hear the table top crack underneath his grip, the cords of his neck tight as he finally cums. He keeps pumping himself in his hand through it, milking himself until he's groaning and gritting his teeth. It's been so long, he's never felt the need for this until now. The feeling of satisfaction is unlike anything else, as he lets out a few breaths of air through his mouth.
He'll love his little niece or nephew like his own in the absence of Lorgar of course. They don't deserve to be punished for the sins of their father. But when you're fully healed, he would love nothing more than to on day fill that space with something of his own.
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space-matt · 6 months
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right person, wro- ight time
matt.sturniolo x fem.reader
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summary: lifelong best friends, but with hidden feelings.
Can one night change everything?
request: yes -> anon
cw: use of y/n, angst, fluff (?), mention of sex
author’s note: hello everyone!!! Here I am back after a long time, but I wanted to take a break from writing.
At the moment some of my stories like ''Breaking promises'' are archived because I'm revising them and changing some things, if you want you can take a look here -> masterlist
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺
English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺
As you watch Matt and his girlfriend engage in a passionate display of affection on the couch, you can't help but feel a mix of emotions. Jealousy and anger course through your veins as you long to be the one in his arms. The scene before you seems like a cruel reminder of what you can't have.
You have known Matt, and his brothers Nick and Chris, for as long as you can remember. Your mom's close friendship brought the four of you together, and you've been inseparable ever since.
You've shared countless memories together, from taking warm baths as toddlers to navigating the ups and downs of adolescence.
Your feelings for Matt first emerged when you were just eight years old. While his siblings ran around and teased each other, he was the only one who pushed you on the swing, making you feel safe and cared for. 
Or how that time in middle school he was next to you when coming out of the bathroom, he noticed a red spot on your butt and promptly gave you his sweatshirt to cover you up.
Over the years, your attachment to him only grew stronger, even as you had flings with other boys. You never acted on your feelings, though, afraid of ruining the strong bond you had built with him over the years.
Now, as you watch him with his girlfriend, you can't help but wonder what could have been if you had been brave enough to take a chance on love.
As you sit on a cushioned chair in the cozy kitchen, you turn towards the stove and place your phone on the wooden table, emitting a snort of frustration. Chris, who is equally exhausted by the ongoing show, rises from the couch and comes to hug you from behind, enveloping you in his strong arms.
"God, I can't stand them anymore," he whispers softly in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.
"Don't tell me" you reply, your eyes still fixated on the screen of your phone, as you use one hand to scroll through social media and the other to caress Chris's hand, which is resting on your chest.
At times, you find yourself wondering why your heart chose Matt over Chris, especially given that Nick is off-limits. Chris is so caring, kind, and affectionate with you that you have thought several times that he actually has feelings for you.
However, you try to suppress this thought because if it were true, you would disappoint his heart by telling him that the person you love is his brother.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • 
As you lay on Nick's bed, you stare up at the ceiling, taking in the intricate patterns of the plasterwork. The guy sitting beside you is completely absorbed in editing the video that they plan to post later on that evening, with their headphones on and their eyes fixed on the computer screen. 
Suddenly, a loud and jarring sound reverberates throughout the house, causing you to raise your eyebrows in confusion. You listen carefully, and a few seconds later, another door slams shut, confirming your suspicions that something is definitely wrong.
Your heart racing, you get up from the bed and begin to move cautiously towards the stairs, your senses heightened and your mind racing. As you make your way down to the living room, you can feel the tension in the air, and you can see that Chris is lying on the couch, his face contorted with concern.
You approach him and ask in a hushed voice, "Was that Matt making all that noise?"
He nods his head, his eyes meeting yours with surprise. "Yeah...apparently Perrie dumped him" he replies.
Your voice drops to a whisper as you consider this news, and you say, "Uhm...I'll go check on him..." You walk towards his room, feeling a sense of trepidation in the pit of your stomach. As you approach the door, you can hear the sound of muffled sobs coming from within, and you know that you need to go in and try to help him through this.
You stand outside Matt's door, knocking a few times, but receive no response. You call out to him, "Matt...it's me, please open up" and lean your forehead against the door. Only when you hear the lock click do you lower the handle and enter the darkened room.
As you step inside, the scene before you breaks your heart. Matt is lying on his stomach on the bed, his sobs echoing throughout the room. Without a second thought, you move to his side and embrace him, whispering "Shh...don't cry please, she doesn't deserve you" while gently caressing his back.
Through his tears, Matt manages to speak, "She...she's everything to me." A beam of moonlight enters the room, illuminating the bed you are sitting on, and you can't help but notice how red his otherwise clear eyes have become.
A spontaneous gesture starts from you as you take your sweatshirt sleeve to wipe away his tears. "Do you want to talk about it?" you ask, tilting your head to the side and taking his hand, offering your support and patience.
You couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain as you saw your close friend Matt in such a vulnerable state. His head was bowed, and his eyes were shut tight as he let out a deep sigh. You knew that he was going through a tough time in his relationship, and your heart went out to him.
Despite your sympathy for his situation, you found yourself thinking selfishly at that moment. Perhaps, you could finally have a chance with him. You pushed that thought aside, knowing that your emotions were taking over your rational side.
Matt looked up at you, and you could see the sadness in his eyes. He began to speak, but his words trailed off as he struggled to find the right ones. You squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.
"She says she wants to take some time to think, and... she doesn't know if she loves me like before" he finally managed to say, his voice trailing off again.
‘’Ow Matt.. I’m sorry’’ you reached out to him, stroking his cheek as he rested his head against yours. At that moment, time seemed to stand still as you gazed into each other's eyes. You could see the pain etched on his face, and it broke your heart.
As you sat together on the bed, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, your mind began to race with a million different scenarios. You wondered what the future held for you and him. As if in response to your thoughts, you saw Matt's figure approaching you, his gaze fixed on your lips.
''Matt what are you doing?’’ You ask when you find yourself an inch from his lips feeling your breaths grow heavier; 
With a gesture, his lips rest on yours and you can't help but think how soft they are and how long you've been waiting for that moment.
The rest comes on its own: removed all distance remains you, lying on his bed sharing what to you was perfection, Love. To him, it was pure distraction, Sex.
At least that was what he thought at that particular instant.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • 
You wake up to the sound of birds chirping and a few rays of sunshine coming in through the window, casting a warm glow on the room. As you turn your head to the other side of the bed, you notice that the mattress beside you is empty, and a sense of loneliness washes over you. Wrapped naked in the brown sheets, you feel a deep longing for the person who was lying next to you just a few hours ago.
You look around the room and see your clothes scattered on the floor, which reminds you of the events that took place the night before. You recall how you finally confessed your feelings for him, and you think he reciprocated them. It was like a turning point in your relationship, and you couldn't be more thrilled.
However, you don't want to arouse suspicion, so you quickly put on your clothes and quietly walk out the door. As you step into the open space, you notice his figure sitting with his head in his hands. You wonder if he's feeling the same as you. 
You glance around and realize that the other two boys are still sleeping in their rooms, completely unaware of what happened between you and him last night.
As he senses someone's presence, he turns to see who it is. It's you, and you’re standing there motionless. You ask him what's going on, but he remains silent and instead, keeps looking at you. You remain in your position, unsure of what to do next.
Finally, he breaks the silence, "Y/n, we need to talk," his voice is low and serious. You understand that this is not going to be a simple conversation, and you head towards the sofa to sit down. He follows suit.
He stares at you for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. Finally, he says, "What happened between us can never happen again... it was a mistake." His words hit you hard and you feel like someone has just stabbed you in the heart.
The words < It was a mistake > echo in your head, and you can't believe what you're hearing. Your mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings.
Mistake
Mistake
Mistake
You feel tears welling up in your eyes, your nose burning, and your mouth becoming dry. It's as if a flood of emotions has suddenly been unleashed, and you can't control it. You try to hold yourself together, but it's too late, and you break down in tears.
You look at him with a mix of confusion and hope as you try to decipher what he is trying to say. "I thought that...I thought that you finally reciprocated my feelings and that...we were making love" you stammer, your heart sinking as you realize the truth.
He looks down, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, y/n. I was confused, and you were there to comfort me. I didn't understand anything anymore" he says, his words heavy with regret. "I'm not in love with you, y/n, but with Perrie"
You feel like the ground has opened up beneath you. It's like the world has stopped spinning and you are trapped in an endless moment of pain. You want to disappear, to run away from this unbearable situation, but you are frozen in place.
You sit there on his couch, tears streaming down your face, as the anger slowly grows more and more. How could he lead you on like this? How could he use you like that?
"How can you say that to me now? Tonight, you didn't think that way when you were inside me, huh?" you say with all the hatred your body could muster at that moment. You get up without waiting for his answer, your mind racing with a million thoughts.
You go towards the front door, slipping on your shoes, and taking your jacket from the coat hanger. The spring breeze kicks in, causing you to clench the fabric covering your shoulders. You slip your hand into your pocket, pulling out your car keys, which you shortly use to lead you toward your home, pulling up with your nose.
You feel lost and confused, your heart shattered into a million pieces. All you can do is cry and wonder how you will ever be able to trust anyone again.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • 
Since that fateful night, two weeks have passed and that feeling of having been just an afterthought only invades your body, and it becomes even heavier when sitting on the couch eating ice cream, you get a notification after days of silence
| Chris: | Wassup ‘ma!! Where have you been? Nick and I miss you :(
As you read his message, it felt like the weight of the world had come crashing down on you. You were slowly sinking into an almost hysterical cry. It was because you had decided to completely cut off all relations with Matt. And, as a result, you had also cut off your two best friends since they lived with him.
You had thought about meeting them outside, but your appearance would have aroused several questions, and declaring that you had sex with their brother would have definitely not been the response you wanted to give.
You lowered your gaze to your belly and started caressing it while tears streamed down your face. The worst thing was when you realized that you were five days late for your period. You panicked and ran to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test, and it came back positive.
| You: | Hi, sorry I've been busy with several things... I miss you too <3
A few minutes later your phone lights up again
| Chris: | Did you hear?
A confused expression appears on your face at his question
| You: | Heard what?
Those seconds seem to last minutes, those minutes hours as your anxiety surges.
| Chris: | That moron of Matt got back together with Perrie
Crack
That's what your heart does for the umpteenth time as more tears are released from your eyes that have now turned red.
Out of frustration, you throw the phone across the couch, but it bounces causing it to fall to the floor.
C r a c k
''Fuck'' you pronounce as you stand up to see the distasteful accomplishment. You pick up the phone and see that the screen is half shattered but still working ''Fuck'' you whisper thinking how life is so unfair to you.
| Chris: | Are you still there?
You try to recover by taking a deep breath
| You: | Yeah... sorry but I'm tired, I'm going to go to sleep. I love you.
You cut the conversation short not wanting to know further details
| Chris: | goodnight Love yaa 2
You sit on the couch, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. You close your eyes, trying to control the tears that are forming in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the feeling in your chest only intensifies. You can't take it anymore, and you know what you have to do. It's something you've done before and something that comes naturally to you - you leave.
You get up from the couch, with a heavy heart, and head to your room. You grab your computer, returning to your comfortable seat, and immediately type into the search engine < flight from LAX to Boston >. You skim through the options, and click on the first website you see, noting that the earliest flight is the next morning. Without thinking about it, you buy a one-way ticket and book the cab that would pick you up.
Immediately after making the transition, you get up and return to your room. You take a deep breath and look around. You know you have a lot to do before you leave. You walk towards your closet and take out your huge suitcase. You begin to stuff all your clothes inside, carefully folding them and making sure everything fits.
You know that this is not going to be easy, but you're determined to leave everything behind and start fresh.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • 
Over the past two months, you have received numerous messages and phone calls that you haven't responded to. Even Matt has tried to get in touch with you, but you decided to change your phone number to avoid any contact. 
When you arrived your parents were somewhat surprised but very happy to see you. You always had a beautiful relationship with them, especially with your mom, your best friend. Although with some fear, you explained the whole situation to her including that you were pregnant with Matt.
The decision to keep him/her is not yet final but you know you have two shoulders to count on and that no matter what, they are there for you.
Slowly your belly begins to become more noticeable, and with the arrival of summer, it is almost inevitable to miss it.
''Darling are you ready? MaryLou and Jimmy are waiting for us'' you hear your mother calling you from downstairs.
You look at yourself in the mirror trying to fix your shirt as best as you can, and to hide the small bump ''Yeah I'm coming'' you reply picking up your bag and then going down the stairs and closing the door behind you heading for the car ''Here I am'' you announce to your parents sitting in the front seats.
The Fourth of July has always been celebrated with the Sturniolo family, between barbeques, swimming in the pool, laughter, and the company of little dog Trevor you have only good memories in your mind.
This year you accepted only because you heard that the three boys would not be there due to several setbacks.
The drive between your homes is fortunately short because nausea begins to set in, and even more so when after stepping out of the car you are invaded by a very strong smell of barbeque.
Immediately having hugged MaryLou and Jimmy, you notice how the house is decorated from top to bottom ''Wow MaryLou you did a great job this year'' you tell her smiling ''Oh don't thank me but those three in the garden, rather go to them, we'll take care of this'' she replies pointing outside
< Are they here? All three of them? Weren't they supposed to be on the other side of the United States? What do I do? Do I run away? Do I stay here? What the fuck do I do? >
Your conscience does nothing but have question after question. You look at your mother for help but she is so busy helping her friend that you see yourself forced to give a big sigh and head for the garden followed by Trev.
''Oh my gosh y/n where the fuck have you been?'' Nick exclaims as he gets up from his chair coming toward you wrapping his arms around you ''Why did you fucking disappear? Literally no fucking messages or fucking calls'' he pulls away looking you in the eye concerned but all you do is stand silent.
Matt and Chris are also standing but neither of them seems to have any idea of moving from their position. Matt still regrets how he behaved while Chris is disappointed and angry at you.
He still doesn't understand how out of all the people you could erase from your life you chose to add him; 
And it is true, in the last few years a wonderful friendship has grown between you where Chris sees you as a reference point when his brothers become too annoying, you were and, despite everything, you are his rock.
''Sorry'' is the only thing you can utter looking away so as not to meet their gazes.
''Only sorry can you say? You are so selfish! You thought only of yourself abandoning everyone, you abandoned me'' Chris pronounces in a harsh tone approaching you, doing nothing but bringing tears to your eyes
''Say something, speak the fuck up. What do you have to say for yourself?'' Chris continues waving his arms in different directions leading you to take a step back ''Chris please you're scaring her'' Nick says hitting him on the arm ''I don't fucking care, I want to know why'' the smaller one replies to him always looking at you.
The tension in the air is palpable, and you feel a sense of helplessness wash over you as you try to explain your actions.
At that point Matt couldn't stand that situation anymore ''It's me'' he exclaims making everyone turn their gazes in his direction ''What you?'' Chris asks confused ''I'm the reason she ran away'' he says lowering his gaze ''And what about you? What the fuck happened?’’ Nick asks as he sits waiting for someone to speak, but silence reigns among you as you hear your parents' voices in the distance.
''Me and y/n had sex the day Perrie dumped me'' Matt pronounces in a whisper, almost not making himself heard ''Speak up motherfucker'' Chris says putting even more agitation on you ''Oh Jesus Christ me and Matt had sex, but it was just a one-night stand for him, which it wasn't for me since I'm madly in love with him. I thought by getting away from him and consequently from you, I wouldn't suffer but I feel like shit about it and even more since I found out I'm preg- '' you say all in one breath freezing as you realize you've told your little secret.
The silence between you and your friends seems to last forever, as you try to process what just came out of your mouth. "Are you pregnant?" Matt asks, approaching you. You nod, almost instinctively, bringing your hand to your belly. 
"Why did you keep it to yourself, y/n? You know we'll always be there for you" Chris says, his tone softening, almost as if your revelation made him forget the months that passed without any interaction from you.
You try to explain, "I don't know...I was scared and I still am now. Besides, knowing that Matt was back with Perrie made me feel bad, so I did the only thing I could do: go back home." You sit down next to Nick, feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable.
Matt then reveals that he and Perrie are no longer together, and Nick and Chris decide to leave the two of you alone. Matt takes a chair and places it in front of you, his tone calm but agitated at the same time. "I know what I told you that morning and what I'm about to tell you sounds like nonsense, but..." He takes a deep breath before continuing, "After you left that morning, I felt like shit. I shouldn't have treated you that way and I shouldn't have made you feel like just a spare tire."
He pauses for a moment before continuing, "That night kept resonating in my mind, and I thought that getting back with Perrie would make me my old self again, but I couldn't. And I can't get your name out of my mind. I feel that these feelings I've always had I tried to bury and deny myself...but fuck y/n, I'm in love with you." His words enter your brain like a hypnotic spell, leaving you stunned and speechless.
''I was really hurt about it Matt...all these years hoping that one day you would look at me with different eyes but you only had them for other girls, to you I was just your best friend...'' you confess looking into his eyes 
‘' I'm really sorry, if I could go back I would tell the me of 14 years to go to you and not to be afraid to say how I feel'' he says taking your hand in his while with the other he caresses your cheek 
''I hate myself for making you feel this way all these years'' Matt says in a whisper, shifting his gaze from your eyes to your mouth.
''A little bit too but I love you so much'' you say making your lips meet in a passionate embrace, a rush of emotions floods over both of you. The weight of past regrets and missed opportunities seems to dissipate in that single moment. The tenderness in Matt's touch and the sincerity in his words have touched a deep part of your heart. 
With your hands still intertwined, you take a deep breath, ready to embrace the future together, knowing that your love is strong enough to overcome any obstacles that may come your way.
--------------------------------------------------------
Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07 @blackhorses-posts
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months
Note
OMGOMGOMG YOU WRITE FOR HAZBIN. I was actually waiting for you to do it, I'm so happy!
Could I request Adam and Lute (separately) x a male Angel reader who cares for them a lot and is always kind to them? (Btw it's okay if you don't want to, no pressure at all)
-🍄
Adam and Lute x angel!kind!reader
WOOOO first multi character hazbin post!! Writing this super late at night and on mobile, though I'm saving this for the queue so maybe I'll revise it before it's set to post... if I remember
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ADAM:
At first he thinks it makes you a pushover or a baby. It's a little mean, but hey, its Adam. But what if you're not what he first assumes? Honestly he kind of respects it, plus he loves the attention you give him. Maybe you even rub off on him.. he starts being nice in his own way, albeit still a bit douchey
You make him
Think and consider others around him, at least a tiny bit
I do think he would try to make you grow a pair if you extend your kindness a little too far for a little too long before finally deciding when someone's crossed a line
LUTE:
Your softness and her... harshness? Is that the right word? clash a little. Shes so fiercely independent, shes a fighter. She was made to rid hell of its sinners. Being domestic and soft wasnt exactly something she was.. used to. Definitely takes her some time to get used to your sweetness, and she might even try to figure out what your whole deal is. Overtime she does develop a sweeter side that's more appreciative of your kindness, though its very private and reserved only for you
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imagines--galore · 6 months
Note
HELLO HELLO I SAW YOUR LITTLE JIM HAWKINS POST AND I GOTTA ADMIT! I LOVE THE BOY TOO!
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was wondering if could request a little jim x reader who meet at the academy and have a little rivalry before becoming lovers? thanks! remember to take care, drink lots of water and stay safe!
Summary: Jim Hawkins & Y/n Y/l/n. Two of the most promising candidates to arrive at the Interstellar Academy in years. From academics to knowing their way around a ship, the both of them were on equal footing. Too bad they see the other as a rival. Then again, perhaps it was a good thing. For if they were to team up, they could conquer the entire galaxy if they wanted to. But when did that rivalry changed into something more? Pairing: Jim Hawkins x Reader Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. None. A/N: I mean who doesn't love the boy :3 Ok so the song I decided to pick is Téir Abhaile 'Riú by Celtic Woman. And I borrowed some elements from Kingdom Dance from Tangled because I love that scene. :3 And this got a little longer then I intended it to be.......I added too much detail to everything. Woops? Had a lot of fun with your request though!
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You pursed your lips as you observed your reflection in the full length mirror. To say Emmy had been insistent about you donning a pretty outfit for the occasion would be an understatement. Your roommate had practically threatened you with it, saying she would no longer speak to you if you did not dress up. Honestly the female Canid didn't need to threaten you, no one could say no to her. Not even you.
So when she had dug through your closet and taken out the articles of clothing she deemed worthy for the event, you had put them on with no complain. A blouse and a corset with a skirt paired with shoes. The latter you had picked out yourself, having no desire to wear anything impractical should you need to kick someone in the nuts.
"You look gorgeous, Y/n." Parla your third roommate trained one of her several eyes in your direction, while simultaneously applying some black goo to the eyelashes of her remaining eye. "By human standards." Quel barely glanced up from where she was oiling her arms. You were thankful she was, your android roommate had a tendency to squeak when her joints would run out of oil. Emmy grinned proudly as she put the final touches to your hair and stepped away to appraise her work.
"Maybe you'll catch a sailor's eye while in town y/n." She giggled, prompting you to roll your eyes at her. "I doubt I'll have the time." You crossed your arms over your chest. "Since I will be making sure you don't run off half-drunk, Parla doesn't get in trouble because of her wandering eye and avoid Quel being stripped for parts by some con-person."
You had grown to be protective of your roommates over the years you had lived together. Emmy cooed as she reached out to embrace you sweetly. "You don't have to worry about us, honey! We've all excelled at our combat classes. Not to mention we'll have dates who can protect us." Both you and Quel glared at Emmy who only gave a nervous laugh. "Did you have to rope us all into dates?" The android asked, her mechanical voice somehow sounding annoyed. "Its best to go in a large group." Parla came to Emmy's rescue. "My grandmother says there might be some pirates or thieves in the crowd. And given the number of people that have come for the Ball, its best to find strength in numbers."
Emmy nodded enthusiastically. "Perhaps it is best to accept our fate and simply go along with the situation." Quel spoke as she stood and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. You sighed, closing your eyes briefly before shrugging and allowing a smile to play on your lips. You weren't about to be a spoilsport and ruin everyone's fun. After the month all of you had had, with the exams and revisions and tests and selecting the courses you would be majoring in, you all deserved a break.
A bright smile pulled at your lips and Emmy very early squealed at the sight. "Here's to having a night none of us will ever forget!" You stated with conviction, opening the door and leading your friends out of your shared room.
Little did you know how true those words would be for you.
                                          ————————–
The town of Aonadh enjoyed a rather prestigious position. On one hand it was the closest to the reputable Interstellar Academy. An Institute that had been thriving for years and housed the future generation of sailors for the Queen's Armada. Many living in town had relatives who went there, or had some other form of relation with the Academy.
On the other hand, the town served as a harbor for many ships. From merchant vessels carrying riches and trading goods, to the crafts bringing new hopefuls to begin the next phase of their journey. The port of Aonadh was always bustling, always busy. There was never a quiet moment. Every other hour would bring a new ship in. Either to relieve itself of its cargo, have repairs done, or pick up people who wished to travel.
Really town was a small word for Aonadh, but the people refused to call it a city. Their ancestors started as humble farmers before the location of the Academy changed their status to something more. They were proud of what they had accomplished over the years as well as their status so a town it remained. One could find almost every life form residing in town, Arcturians, Aquanogs, Canids, Centaurous, Cragorians, Densadrons, Felinids, Geeories, Humans, Macriki, Mantavors, Minotarous, Optocs, Roboticas, Sirenius, Tuskrus, Zirrelians and a hundred more. No one could remember the first specie that lived in Aonadh and no one cared. Everyone was treated on an equal footing and the town had a huge council that had a member from every specie living in Aonadh.
There were several attractions that beckoned the young Cadets at the Academy to spend their time off in town. From pubs that never ran out of ale, to shopping markets that overflowed with the finest wares. Not to mention the massive library that housed more then a million scrolls, books, hoverstories and maps. To say nothing of the lavish streets and squares where something was always happening.
Of course the ports were the most exciting place to be. One could meet new people, learn about shipping from seasoned sailors, or even catch a tour of one if a Cadet was so lucky.
At present the excitement going about had something to do with several large ships that had docked not a day ago. Ships carrying Cadets who had passed out over the years and were coming back for their annual party of sorts. The Annual Ball it was called. Held every ten years. A huge affair. One of the biggest ones to ever occur in the entire galaxy. Guests of honor and other people of importance were sent invitations, while the rest of them simply showed up. Unless they were on duty or had anything of importance to attend to everyone came.
                                          ————————–
It was certainly the busiest Jim Hawkins had seen it. In the years he had attended the Academy there had been several festivals he had attended with his friends, but not one of them came close to the excitement of today.
However that excitement had died down to be replaced by a burning annoyance at the sight of the only other human in his year. The very human who was now sitting at the same table as him, both of you sipping from your drinks.
It wasn't that you had anything against being set up for a blind date, it was the boy you had been set up with.
What existed between you and Jim was something of an anomaly. The both of you were the best in your batch, and quite frankly, some Professors seemed to be of the notion that you were both the best Cadets they had seen in years.
If only the two of you got along.
A bitter rivalry had formed between the both of you. Neither of you remembered who had taken the first shot, but all you knew was that you had to one up the other. And that was how it had been your entire career at the Academy.
Spiteful comments thrown at one another. Hateful glances whenever the other would be praised. Childish pranks just to annoy the other. Goading and baiting that resulted in either one or both of you getting into trouble.
The list was endless.
Honestly, if it wasn't so entertaining the Academy would've had taken action years ago. You often wandered if perhaps you and Jim had a betting pool going around in the Academy. Parla had dropped hints here and there, but you weren't quite sure.
Well, whatever existed between you and Jim, it was destroying your evening. As soon as it became clear who your date was, Parla and Quel had made themselves scarce, having the intelligence to stay clear of the obvious Supernova that was about to erupt given yours and Jim's expressions. Emmy had quickly taken you aside, begging you to go along with it, and explaining how Lyon, her crush for a good year and a half, had said he didn't want to ditch his friend while he had fun.
So Emmy had offered a solution.
Correction.
Emmy had offered you as a lamb up for slaughter.
And being the soft-hearted idiot that you were, you had relented, agreeing to going along with Emmy's plan. Only because you knew she was half in love with Lyon, and maybe this night he would work up the courage to tell her of his feelings as well.
And as you sat there, watching your best friend sway in the arms of the half-felinid and half-human male, you couldn't help but give a small smile at the happiness that seemed to radiate from the both of them.
"There must be a Supernova freezing somewhere." Stars, even his voice was annoying.
You turned your head back to look at him, that annoyed frown returning. "And what makes you say that."
He smirked, hands behind his head as he rested against the back of the booth. "You were actually smiling. I thought she-demons never smiled. Something about bursting into flames and the world coming to an end, that sort of thing."
"I smile plenty Hawkins." You responded, pursing your lips. "I just don't happen to smile at maggots such as yourself." The insult, if it were called that, seemed to bristle him enough to warrant an eye roll, though he didn't respond.
Seemingly taking his silence as a win, you returned your attention to the dancing couples. The music was lively and there would certainly be more people coming in soon. Sighing, you wished you could join in the dancing. Of course there was no chance of that happening.
You had no desire to ask a stranger, for fear they would try something untoward. And there was no way in the entire galaxy you were about to ask Jim Hawkins to dance with you.
Glancing at your empty glass of drink, you stood and stretched, completely missing Jim watching you out of the corner of his eye. "If I am to tolerate your company for the rest of this evening I'm gonna get another drink." He rolled his eyes, prompting you to give him a glare that had one too many cadets backing off in fear.
But not Jim. Jim was used to your glares and stares and returned them at an equal footing.
Walking toward the bar, you waved at the many tentacled bartender who was quick to give you your drink. The glass was a little too full, prompting you to walk carefully back to your table.
Perhaps it should've been better that you kept your attention on the people around you rather then the drink you were trying not to spill.
A boisterous group of sailors jostled you, propelling you forward and causing your drink to spill.
Nearly emptying the entire contents of it down the front of one of the sailors who had bumped into you.
"What the hell!? Watch it!" He cried out, swiping at the front of his uniform in an effort to wipe away the liquid. Of course, that didn't help.
Angry at loosing your drink, you glared at the male. "You were the one too drunk to walk properly, how am I to blame for your incompetence?" Maybe it wasn't the wisest of decisions to be picking a fight with someone who looked like he had some Densadron blood in him, but you didn't care.
You were already having a horrible evening, so why not make it worse.
Your words only served to make the male, and his group of friends angry. Pursing your lips, your hand slipped to the hidden slit of your skirt where you kept a taser knife for safety reasons. Your fingers itched, ready to pull it out when suddenly the stare down between you and the male was broken by a very familiar voice.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you."
Astonished, you pivoted on your feet, just in time to see Hawkins drape an arm around your waist and pull you to his side. That wasn't what shocked you.
What shocked you the most was the smile he wore. One that was directed at you.
"Making friends I see." He continued while your brain tried it's best to compute the situation that was going on. "I'm sorry about that, my girlfriend gets a little light-footed when shes had one too many."
Girlfriend?!?!?
The group of sailors seemed to be calming down somewhat. Jim had that effect on people whenever he stepped in to stop a would-be squabble.
Ironic considering the numerous fights he had started in his younger days.
"How about she pay for the damage to my uniform, and I let her go." The male grunted, scowling down at the both of them. Suddenly his eyes zeroed in on you the way they hadn't before. A lecherous smile formed on his lips, one that had you scowling in disgust. "She can either pay money or show me a good time. I don't mind either." The rest of his group laughed boisterously, elbowing one another, wearing the same smile as their friend was.
His words seemed to snap you out of wherever your mind was. Pushing aside Jim's previous words, and trying hard not to comprehend where his arm still rested around her waist you opened your mouth to tell the disgusting male where he could shove something where the sun don't shine.
A firm but light pressure around your waist had you stopping. You watched, astonished, as Jim moved to stand in front of you, his stance protective, and an anger in his eyes that had you blinking in surprise.
"Or maybe I should have you reported for showing such disrespect to a future Captain of the Royal Armada."
It was then that the group realized who they were speaking to. Their gazes flitted to the pin you had proudly stuck to the right side of your chest. A coat of arms that assigned your rank, despite having not even graduated yet. Jim had the same pin, though his was hidden by the jacket he wore. Though he made no effort to hide it as he pushed aside the front of his garment to reveal it to the buffoons.
Being Captain meant you had authority and power that no lowly sailor had. It didn't matter what age you were, so long as you were a rank above, you held power.
And at that moment you wanted nothing more then to throw the idiot in jail for daring to make such a proposition to you.
The group began to retreat, taking their friend with them. The danger past, Jim turned his attention to you.
"You okay?" He asked, his eyes roving over your frame, as if looking for some sign of injury.
You nodded. "I'm fine." Despite there having been no physical altercation, you were still a little shaken. "You didn't need to step in. I had it handled." You finally said, still clutching your half full glass. Jim rolled his eyes.
"Not from where I was standing."
You scowled. "I was ready to fight him if I needed to."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "And get expelled so close to graduating? You're reckless Y/n, but I know you're not that reckless."
"And why should you care? Wouldn't you prefer to graduate top of the class all by yourself? Not share your spotlight with anyone."
He nodded. "I would." He paused before a teasing smile pulled at his lips. "But then who would be my rival when I make Captain?"
You waved your hand. "I'm sure you would find someone else to piss off."
"I doubt they would be as beautiful as you."
You gaped at him, had barely voiced your astonishment when his eyes widened in realization of what he had just said.
A bright blush overcame his cheeks, one that had him gulping nervously, raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck.
"Y-you think I'm.............beautiful?" You could barely believe the words coming out of your mouth. An awkward shrug was his only response.
Normally you would've teased him mercilessly about revealing something so intimate. But right then? Having just been saved by him, and watching him stand there, unable to meet your gaze, you couldn't help but smile.
"Don't tell me its because of my beauty that you've been a pain in my ass all these years." Your tone was light, teasing, compelling him to respond in his usual sarcastic way.
"That and you're annoying." He stated, a smile pulling at his lips as his blush began to recede. You hummed. "I didn't take you as the romantic type Hawkins."
He leaned closer. "Theres a lot of things you don't know about me y/l/n. Though one thing I can tell about you, is that you've been wanting to dance the entire night but have been too stubborn to ask me." Now, it was your turn to blush as you glared at him. Had you been that obvious? But Jim wasn't deterred.
"Shall we?" He held out a hand, indicating that you take it if you wanted to fulfill your wish to dance.
You pursed your lips, your previous annoyance for him rising to the forefront. You would never call what you felt for Jim hatred, but you wouldn't call it affection either.
But right then, you mused as you took his hand and he led you the dance floor, maybe you could label your feelings for Jim as undetermined.
For the time being.
The dance floor had lost a few dancers as the musicians in the corner prepared to play yet another song. You looked around, feeling a little nervous. It had been awhile since you had danced, and while you had no doubt in your dancing skills, you didn't trust your partner fully.
"You're not going to drop me during a dip or something like that are you?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Jim laughed before shaking his head. "No, I promise I won't."
You frowned, leaning up to press the back of your hand against his forehead. "You're not running a fever are you?" You inquired, feeling your own forehead to compare the temperatures. He flushed at the sensation of her touch against his skin.
"No, why would you ask that?" His questions prompted you to shrug. "Well you're being nice to me, and neither of us have thrown an insult at the other in the last five minutes.
Jim nodded, looking impressed. "Must be a new record for us." He commented to which you laughed softly. "And I'm nice to you because I am a nice guy Y/n." He stated, to which you let out a very unlady-like sound. "Oh please, you've been anything but nice to me since we first met Jim."
Alright so it was strange to call him by his first name, but he had used your first name. And when he had? You had felt a sliver of warmth flicker in your heart. Maybe he would feel the same sensation you did?
Well you were right. At least about the warmth part. And though Jim felt that warmth in his heart, same as you, he also felt it steal across his cheeks.
God! He had never blushed so much in such a short span of time his entire life.
"Well you didn't make it easy now did you? You just had to be a smartass." You smirked. "Better a smartass then an idiot." Jim rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his toned chest. "I don't know, we've both done some pretty idiotic stuff over the years."
The musicians were still tuning and drinking. Apparently it was their break, and while there were several other couples standing around waiting for the dance to begin, your and Jim seemed to be encapsulated in your own little world.
"True, but they've been fun years. Memorable." You stated with a nostalgic smile, thinking back on all the times you had gotten into trouble playing pranks on your rival. "Ones neither of us will be forgetting for a long time." He agreed, matching your smile with his.
Your eyes met his, and you suddenly realized just how much Jim had changed over the years. He had been a little reckless and rebellious in the start, but those traits had toned down over the years. They would never be gone completely, but he had matured, no doubt about that. And not just personality wise, you mused, eyes roving his face, as if you were seeing him for the first time.
He had grown a lot taller the past few years. Taller then you at least, since he was a good head taller then you. And he was handsome, there was no denying that, and kind, given how he had just helped you out of what could've been an ugly situation. Not to mention he was extremely loyal, a trait you had always admired in him despite your rivalry.
Little did you know Jim was thinking along the same criteria. Remembering the day he had met you, and how annoying he had thought you were. With your perfect hair, perfect uniform and perfect scores. Then again his scores had always been perfect too, but he made up for it by being messy and a little rebellious.
You? You were always the picture of perfection. Even so close to graduation, every aspect of your life seemed perfect. From your scores, to your attendance record. Your gorgeous face, and expressive eyes to your hair that always looked so soft that he had to fight the urge to touch it at times.
Though today, he didn't hold back. Raising his hand, he brushed a loose tendril behind your ear, and if his hand lingered a little longer then necessary, and if it brushed against your ear, causing a gentle shudder to race through your body.
Your eyes never wavered, and it looked like he was about to say something.
Just then the music started.
Jim cursed, prompting you to raise an eyebrow at him. "Its a fast jig. I'm not really good with those." You smiled and shook your head. "Thats alright, I can teach you. Its easy."
So saying you quickly placed his hands in the appropriate places, one at your waist, the other holding your own aloft, fingers intertwining togther. As soon as you started moving, Jim cast his eyes downwards, trying his best not to step on your feet.
"Hey!" Your voice compelled him to look up, nearly catching your foot but you gave him a reassuring smile. "Eyes on me. You gotta dance right. Don't worry about my toes, they're made of steel."
He gave a dry laugh, but did as you asked him to. Neither of you looked away from the other, allowing the music from the minstrels and the voices of the singers to overtake all your senses.
You would sometimes tease him for a misstep, he would comment about your being a talented dancer who hid their talent, but there was no malice in your voices. Only playfulness, and dare you think, affection.
The jig began to pick up speed, the footwork getting a little complicated, but the steps were ones that kept repeating over and over, and Jim had always been a fast learner, and he had seen many people dance to this particular song over the years.
So when the part came where he had to twirl you away from him before bringing you back, the move was so effortless and fluid that it looked like you had rehearsed it. Your hair and skirt flew about you as you twirled back into him, your back against his chest, his arms around your body, hands clasped, keeping you close.
You tilted your head, breathless from the dance, your gaze meeting his. Suddenly all that playfulness became charged, and your eyes glimmered with a passion you had never felt before. His lips were so close to your own. To him your lips looked so inviting.
But then the dance continued, and you straightened in his embrace. This time though, this time neither of you spoke. Neither of you looked away as you continued to dance. Hearts beating faster, steps picking up speed, your movements becoming wilder more impassioned.
You twirled away from him, holding one side of your skirt aloft. The song was coming to a close. The last verse had begun, where you would dance around your partner, slow and playful, never breaking eye contact.
And the final chorus? That was the main attraction. Knowing what was to come, Jim braced himself. You took a running start, jumping a little as you neared him to give yourself enough momentum to fly upwards, only to have Jim catch you around your waist, spinning in a fast circle.
A laugh fell from your lips, your arms held aloft at your sides, enjoying the sensation of flying through the air. As Jim began to lower you, your head tilted to look at him once more. Your arms dropped to wrap around his broad shoulders, while his rested around your waist.
The song had ended, the both of you were breathing heavily, twin smiles of jubilation stretching your mouths as the crowd around you roared. It seemed both your dancing had attracted quite the crowd.
And the cheering doubled tenfold when Jim suddenly closed whatever distance was left between the both of you and fused his lips with yours. A moment of disbelief, where your eyes widened almost comically, before closing shut, lips moving as you kissed him back.
It was blissfully sinful, the way he kissed you. You sighed almost dreamily against his lips, allowing your fingers to play with his hair. Jim was no better, he was doing his best not to let his hands explore too much. You were still in public after all.
"What in the furthest reaches of the galaxy is happening here?"
The shrieking voice tore your apart. Extremely reluctantly, you might add as you both turned to glare at Emmy and Lyon in annoyance. Emmy looked like she was about to faint, while Lyon looked utterly bemused.
"We weren't disturbing you while you locked lips, so why're you disturbing us?" You asked, your arms still around Jim's shoulders. Then again his hands still rested on your back, keeping you close.
"Weren't the two of you just at each other's throats?" Lyon asked, blinking stupidly at the two of them. Jim smirked. "Well I can get to her throat again if you prefer. Though not in the same way as before." His words had Emmy squeaking, Lyon gaping, and you rolling your eyes and smacking the back of his head. "Lets not ruin their innocence Jim." You grinned.
"Maybe we should take this someplace private?" You whispered, gesturing between the both of you. "Away from prying eyes." Jim needed no further prompting.
Grasping your hand, he began to lead you out of the tavern. "Don't wait up!" He called out to your two best friends.
"What did I just say about ruining their innocence Hawkins?"
"What? We can always say we just played a game of battleship?"
"Really? That's the euphemism you're using?"
"So long as it clarifies that I'm gonna beat you at whatever we'll be doing."
"What makes you think you're gonna win?"
"I always win."
"Oh, we'll see about that!"
Emmy and Lyon stood blinking in disbelief as you and Jim walked out of the tavern, continuing your arguing.
"Were they talking about having sex, or actually playing Battleship?" Emmy asked, sounding just as bewildered as she looked. Lyon made a face.
"Knowing them, they were actually talking about the latter before moving on to the former."
Emmy shook her head. "Oh, there was nothing in the betting pool for this." She giggled. "Everyone is gonna be so angry."
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