#though my energy on this specific idea has dwindled

[serennes-art]

couple weeks ago i deep-dived a star trek tng au for jayvik so here is almost everything i've done for that

one borgmillion sketches + drafts under the cut for the interested viewer

[kings-highway]

Out of captain squad and captains’ long-suffering boyfriends squad, who’d survive the hunger games?

okay first off to clear the air if I was going to write a hunger games au it would NOT look like this. It's incredibly easy to spin almost any character into a victor if you give them the main character treatment, so please do not think this below is my, like, die-hard AU idea of how it would go. if I WAS to write a hunger games au, I would probably focus significantly more on support staff characters, mentors and stylists surrounding the games and put a lot less of my main characters into the games specifically, and would probably go for a successful rule breaking arena with more than one survivor, as I don't tend to want to bloodbath my characters HOWEVER in service of answering this specific question, I'm going to try and do justice to the way the hunger games are written (mercilessly) and not break any "rules"

assuming all the captains and their applicable boyfriends are reaped from the same districts, I think a reasonable story fitting with the pattern of the hunger game books would be as follows:

right off the bat, Daichi, Iwaizumi, Kuroo and Ushijima are dead in the cornucopia battle. That is because these are the characters that would have taken on the role of trying to get weapons and supplies from the thick of it to give themselves a leg up. Ushijima might be able to brute force his way out of this battle, but he wouldn't escape uninjured, and would probably die the next day in a combat being unable to sufficiently defend himself.

Bokuto and Akaashi, as well as Aran and Kita, both decided to skip the cornucopia entirely. Akaashi deduces quickly where the rest of the teams are going to focus their energy, and they head in the opposite direction giving them space and distance on their half of the arena, but almost no supplies.

Suga would also get out of the cornucopia battle unscathed, but without any supplies.

Suga would end up in Bo and Akaashi's half of the arena trying to survive for however long he could without real supplies. He'd be able to find water but wouldn't be able to sleep at night over fear of getting snuck up on. Exhaustion and hunger would pick at him, and after surviving a good few days would run into Bo and Akaashi and be forced to cooperate with them to share resources and not starve to death. While this is a safe alliance for him, the next time there is trouble, either other tributes or mutts or an arena ploy, Bo and Akaashi would protect each other first and Suga would go down.

Kenma would make it far and fast but he would be alone, and actually do quite well for himself. Clever and quiet he finds a place far towards the edge of the arena and sort of just sets up shop. The problem is that he doesn't have the initiative needed to try and hunt or kill other tributes on his own. Kenma has the potential to win the games if freak accidents took everyone out, because he would remain entirely unknown and invisible for the majority of the time. Kenma would probably make it to last 10, minimum.

He would have a much higher chance of winning the games in an arena like the 75th, where the mechanics require him to constantly be thinking and moving, but in a standard wilderness arena, he would grow a little complacent with it, and eventually succumb to something like tracker jackers or the butterflies, or a mist/flood. Something that can warm him and he can't outsmart.

Aran and Kita end up in a bigger alliance for a little bit, but as numbers in the arena dwindle their alliance does too, and the more bloodthirsy among them turn on them. I imagine they'd die in a slaughter with like 6 other people, trying to fight back. Probably the second biggest since the cornucopia. They might end up spilling some blood themselves though. Good for them. Not easy to take down.

Oikawa would be one of the only contestants actively trying to fight back, and spending his time not looking for resources but other people to try and take down. Not that I'm trying to imply that Oikawa could or would want to kill people, but I think he's the most likely to go "well they all have to die for me to leave this arena so the sooner that happens the better"

This would, ultimately, probably, result in his death in a 1-on-1 fight that he simply underestimated. It would be very dramatic and people in the capitol would love it. People would talk about him like "god he should have won he would have been a perfect victor" and then just smile and continue with their complicity.

Bokuto and Akaashi would be ""boring"" contestants and as a result the gamemakers would be constantly trying to force them closer to the other tributes, using various mutts and arena mechanics (probably resulting in the situation that kills Suga) realizing that these two aren't going to turn on each other or seek out others, and to prevent the audience from getting bored they would eventually release a massive pack of something nightmarish on them and let nature take care of the rest. They'd probably die without seeing a single tribute that wasn't Suga after several days on their side of the arena - they'd probably also be top 10.

Which brings me to my actual answer to this question, which is that coming out on top with a mix of clever predictive abilities and mild sociopathic tendencies, would be Tendou. Now I don't know if he played the games looking to win, in a very murdery way, or if he simply managed to avoid everything that killed everyone else, and was too difficult to catch, but either way I can absolutely see Tendou being the last one standing when the games close HOWEVER I also think he would immediately kill himself as a fuck you to the capitol. Not in the Katniss-Peeta "oh we're gonna do this together to call their bluff" no, no, Dude hears the bells go off and the cannons signifying the end of the games, realies he's won, and the moment he sees that plane coming in to take him out he has consumed more poison than any body could ever handle. I just think he would like ruining their games by not letting them have a victor. Also he was barely hanging on to his sanity in his normal life he is too mentally ill to handle this much additional trauma. so. out. on national television while everyone is watching. bye bye.

Anyway that's all folks hope you enjoyed the games.

[zoniteillusion-pyritedreams]

May you do reading on Enhypen Sunghoon current lovelife and his ideal type please 🙇‍♀️

"Sunghoon’s Love Life? | A Little Divine Gossip with Nyx & Aphrodite"

What’s going on in his heartspace?

Okay, so here’s the tea: Sunghoon’s love life isn’t giving “I’m single and thriving” or “deep in a honeymoon phase.” It’s giving “I’m healing from something that still lingers in my bones.”

He’s not emotionally empty but he’s not emotionally free either.

There’s someone maybe past, maybe present who cracked open a side of him he rarely shows. And now? That energy is still echoing.

Is he single or seeing someone?

He might be single… but emotionally not alone.

He’s got someone in his thoughts (or maybe dreams Cupid showed up, after all). There’s longing, nostalgia, maybe even a bit of guilt.

If he is seeing someone:

It feels slow, cautious, and deeply private. Think soft smiles behind closed doors. No chaos, no games just slow blooming and protection from the outside world. Aphrodite whispered: "It’s being built with care.”

Is he open to love or just flirting with the idea?

Yes, he’s open but on his terms.

Boundaries are big right now. He’s protecting his heart while it softens again. He doesn’t want a fling. He wants something real, stable, and aligned—but only when it feels safe.

He’s not chasing love, but if it finds him? He won’t run… not this time.

Overall Vibe:

He’s in his “healing prince turned soft romantic” arc.

There’s a tender ache of the past, a heart slowly reopening, and divine timing wrapping it all in velvet.

Sunghoon isn’t just waiting for love he’s becoming ready for the kind that lasts.

Sunghoon’s love life is quiet, private, and pulsing with slow magic.

He’s thinking about someone. He’s healing from something.

And he’s not about the drama he’s about the depth.

Not a situationship. Not a flirt-for-fun era.

It’s the "if you’re coming, come correct" phase.

Because Sunghoon? He’s starting to believe in love again.

(Again I'm pretty sure all of the 4th / 5th gen boy group Idols are pretty darn traumatized. And I do think part of it stems from the way companies have conditioned them and their fans. I also feel like with this reading that part of him is just scared to fall in love I feel like he might have at one point but because of the way that the company prioritizes the fans and has genuinely made him along with other artists believe that they have to cater to them and be their objects of affection or else they're going to lose that community. Their popularity will dwindle or disappear and that they will basically become nothing. I do think it makes it a bit harder to have lasting relationships so any relationships that may come or possibly happen will always end in some form of regret because their partner is going to feel neglected and as if they are not being taken care of or seen as a priority because honestly they're not the fans are always going to be top priority especially depending on what companies you're talking about.)

As I stated I have thoughts on Bang PD & HYBE Corporation and they're not very nice ones or good ones but I am not going to get into it on these types of readings. Even though I do 100% think that a part of the reason why their Idols specifically are so fucking traumatized is because of their dumbasses but again that will be for a different ranting post some other day.

This is going to be my last post until Sunday so I'll see you guys on sunday.

[iheartkreuz]

I made another Mashimaverse AU

I haven’t thought it out throughly yet, but here’s Minerva.

Inspired by “One Piece,” and “Dead Rock” Ish.

Basically, The God of Life and Death was the only thing that lived throughout the entirety of time. Throughout every period he would gather 12 guards/subordinates that represented different races and territories.

There’s was different ways this was picked, for Dragons it was the ruler of Dragons who’d become the next subordinate. They usually roamed near the eastern region which would one day become “The Kingdom of Dragnof.”

Demons lived among humans in the neighboring kingdom, and instead of the next king of demons ruling. The rulers would pass down “Gods favorite angel” E.N.D.

(I’m not sure about the other 10 but i imagine it’d be revealed within the story or else this would just be Oc insert)

The point is I changed the magic system and made it rooted in lore. I’m not gonna explain too much but changes to remember are-

-Erza has Belserion sealed inside, and her father is acnologia. Which technically makes her Queen of Dragons.

-Wendy is also the child or Irene and Anologia. Making her their second child.

-Not a change, but yeah Natsu still END.

-The god of Life and Death died 400 years ago during the war with Irene and the dragon kingdom. (Well he’s just not alive atm)

————

-The magic system has three different types of magic users. Those who have genetic mutations (Inherited Magic) ,

Those who are taught a “maker magic” (A type of magic that cover regular magic energy into a specific type of magic while casting) Anyone can learn.

Or “Holder Magic” Those who use magic Items that already have lacrimas that create their own magic. Anyone can get.

———

Minerva’s name is associated with the Roman godess of wisdom, who’s commonly associated with owls, not as commonly with snakes. I was think about Erza and Minerva fighting together what would take Fairy Tails Magic system to One piece level. And ofcourse that would be an “awakening” of some sorts. So I took the Idea of snakes and ran with it.

Guildarts was in an entirely different league than the entire main cast at the beginning of FairyTail. But why if (by fairy tails magic system) anyone can learn the same magic. So I’m my scenario Guildarts has a genetic magic, Cana learned the holders magic from a young age since she never knew she could have Guildarts magic. Her awakening would be Guildarts magic since you can’t awaken and holders magic. Another example is Mira using satan soul and transformation magic which would mean that you can learn more than one type of magic in Fairy Tail which doesn’t make sense cause what’s stopping everyone from being zeref?

With Minerva I thought what if her history had anything to do with snakes. I decided her ancestors (on her moms side) would be snake charmers, much like the dragon charmers that existed before Irene became dragon queen. Though they used to play flutes to charm dragons it was actually just a ritual of swine sort and the instruments weren’t needed. This was lost when Minerva’s mom passed away while she was too young to learn.

Durring the battle with Erza I imagine somehow she’s presented with the opportunity to meet a Dragon Snake (idk a name yet). It sounded far fetched until I found out about the Dragon snake Xenodermus Javanicus. A nonvonmous serpent that assists Erza and Minerva in battle due to being under both of their titles.

(Basically character building for storyline)

In reality these snakes usually pass away in captivity, are small and only live for a few years.

I’d imagine this snake would be around 400+ years old, and survived the “war” 400 years prior along side some other creatures and dragon variants like the water dragons (that remained secluded under water). Because Dragon snakes don’t have as long of a life span as water dragons, the the serpents dwindled down to a few, while water dragons are still plenty in numbers.

Minerva can’t preserve the serpent in her pocket dimension. (Which is good for throwing enemies in every once in a while). Ofcourse the serpent can fly, that why it was recognized as a dragon in the fairy tail world. Because the snake has dragon ancestors it would’ve been recognized as one because the addition of flight that other snakes didn’t have. (Debatable weather or not Erik’s snake Cubellios is one aswell).

Storyline wise, what connection the Dragon Snakes has with Minerva or her ancestors, why Minerva’s mom was the last one with the magic, and all is really up to a story to tell. I don’t want this to sound fanfic-Ish but more the and actual au that takes a different turn in story. It would also explain why Minerva dad was really trying to exploit her, thought there’s no excuse for dv, and dv can start without cause or reason. Just an anime explanation type of thing.

I also have Ideas for Jellals “Tattoo/birthmark”, the Tower of Heaven, Sho’s “Tattoo”. Kagura and Ikaguras swords. And more. Even some Ideas about old Fairy Tail, and characters from before the 400 year skip. Like Anna and Acnologia.

[nahdpencil]

First track from my new EP, "IKE"

Song description under "read more" below.

XM-000416 “IKE”

XMs (“Experimental Models”) were among the first models produced by RAS under the AAW program. During the period when XMs were being designed, RAS was still a small-scale private military company that only dealt with human security contractors. As such, XMs were only ever officially designated for use in non-combat support roles, even though there were reports of XMs being sighted on the frontlines.

When later combat models were officially released, many XMs were scrapped for raw material. It remains unclear why IKE was not scrapped.

As one of the only remaining XMs of its kind, IKE is also one of the few known models to exhibit “mirroring” behavior, which AAW had been experimenting with before transitioning to its more common “self-learning” algorithms seen on later models.

Remaining information about IKE, or other similar XMs, is hard to come by, as RAS heavily safeguards most of its documentation regarding experimental models.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IKE is a four-track instrumental EP that I wrote during the summer of 2024. I had been interested in the idea of writing solely instrumental tracks for at least a few years, both because I grew up listening to the instrumental rock duo Ratatat, as well as suggestions from my father to release the instrumentals for some of my vocal-focused tracks (which I plan on doing one day in the future). When the summer of 2024 came, I realized it was way too hot for me to try recording vocals in the garage like I normally did for my other songs, which made it a great time to commit to writing an instrumental EP.

Regarding the subject matter of the EP itself, “IKE” is a story that I began brainstorming back in 2022 as a way for me to explore subject matters beyond the typical anthro-focused narratives I am used to writing. More specifically, “IKE” is a story I came up with that centers around four humanoid robot soldiers, known as “Models”, who exist in a post-apocalyptic world which was torn apart by nuclear war. It is heavily inspired by video games like Battlefield 4 and the Metro series, and the short stories I would write about the characters (which I only ever shared with my friends) are written in pseudo-computer-terminal language, reflecting the fact that the four main characters are robots who cannot communicate with each other in typical human ways.

Each of the four tracks from this EP were written to represent each of the four main models in the story: IKE (an original, experimental model and the primary protagonist of the storyline), TUKS (a model originally designed for factory work that was later reassigned as a machine gunner), ZAGHAZ (a frontline soldier model riddled with programming issues), and ETO (an advanced sniper/reconnaissance model whom is the de-facto leader of the group).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“IKE” was the first song I wrote for the titular IKE EP, and given IKE is the main character of this storyline, it made sense to me that this track should also be the theme song for the storyline as a whole. As such, I wanted this track to cover all the bases I would expect to have for this kind of post-apocalyptic storyline: the acoustic chord progression during the verses conveys an overall dreary feeling, reflecting the monotony which comes with having to scavenge for supplies throughout the wasteland; the distorted chorus chord progression has more major chords, reflecting a hopeful feeling that someone might get every so often when things seem to be getting better; and finally, the song features a bridge which slowly builds up anxious energy, reflecting the firefights that the models sometimes find themselves in when they encounter mutated wasteland creatures or other models who are willing to fight over dwindling supplies.

[self-loving-vampire]

You didn't say the lords didn't profit, but it was kind of implied by this:

"i would rather spend my day spinning yarn at my own pace while telling stories with my family than standing on a factory line making cheap goods for someone else's profit."

The truth is that a lot of your work would be for the profit of some kind of upper class douchebag in either case, as opposed to that being a modern thing.

"Even if im spinning all day I am spinning at my own pace and not the pace of some clock set by someone trying to extract all the labor value from my time. Additionally for alot of housework the line between labor and leisure become muddied. If i am making a summertime dress for my daughter is that labor or leisure? If im spinning yarn while watching my sheep is that double labor? is it leisure because im sitting down? If im forming a shoe while listening to my son tell me a dream he had is that labor or leisure?"

A couple of things about this:

One is that you are still expending time, attention, and energy doing the thing for the sake of staying clothed. That is absolutely labor even if you multitask it.

Multitasking like that is also still a thing with "modern" work. My husband works a very physical job and still reads manga and listens to youtube videos at the same time. If the argument is that labor sometimes stops being labor because you can also do other stuff at the same time then that's not really something that has gone away.

The most important point, however, is that even if you're not "on the clock" for some kind of manager, you're still not really free to just do as you please in a subsistence farming situation. Farming was intense work and if you don't do it (or even if you do it and just get unlucky) you or your family may die. You may be literally or practically a slave, even, and the labor relations involved were not exactly egalitarian in the best of cases.

The idea that "if I'm doing something fun while working" means it doesn't count as work is also one factor that leads to the "pre-industrial people worked less" misinformation. The other is simply ignoring all the tasks that were technically not "your job" but that still needed doing despite being very labor-intensive compared to the equivalent maintenance tasks today.

For example, there may not be an employer telling you to get firewood for the winter but you kinda have to do it to avoid having a bad time, don't you? Washing the dishes and cleaning the house every now and then is nothing compared to the work needed to do something like making all of your own clothes even if you don't need to give that 100% of your attention at all times.

The subsistence aspect of the labor is also why arguments based on how many holidays there were don't really work. These people are not wage laborers. They are tied to a food supply that dwindles throughout the year, and their metabolism doesn't really care if it's a holiday or not. All the exhausting chores still need to be done.

If you're not working for your lord, you're using your free time to produce for yourself, not to just chill.

Also you have to keep in mind the lords did not give these peasants food and time off out of the kindness of their heart. They did it because if they didnt have a choice. Peasant revolts and peasant strikes were more than common and were almost always a threat.

It sounds kind of like this was not a pleasant or stable system, right? What kinds of abuses do you think led to all of these rebellions and what do they say about the power dynamics at play?

Additionally, we were not talking about agricultural slaves. That was not the scope of this discussion. Additionally, we did not talk about the commons that most people worked on (vs being serfs) at their own leisure because it was not the scope of the discussion.

Quoting Devereaux:

Nearly every pre-modern complex agrarian society had some form of non-free labor, though the specifics of those systems varied significantly from place to place. Slavery of some form tends to be the rule, rather than the exception for these pre-modern agrarian societies. Two of the largest categories of note here are chattel slavery and debt bondage (also called ‘debt-peonage’), which in some cases could also shade into each other, but were often considered separate (many ancient societies abolished debt bondage but not chattel slavery for instance and debt-bondsmen often couldn’t be freely sold, unlike chattel slaves).

Talking about pre-industrial farming but overlooking the slavery seems really strange to me, especially with the above-mentioned serfs not being entirely free and lacking social mobility. Many of the rights we would consider basic (such as the right to move away or to marry) were withheld from serfs.

I don't know about you but I find the sheer amount of different, complex, and tiring tasks that needed to be done then kind of daunting compared to a salaried modern job (although I'm too disabled for either myself). I do consider such things to be labor rather than leisure too.

HALT!✋😐

did you remember to express gratitude for not having to subsistence farm today?

[beevean]

Metroid 2 ratings

Story: 9/10. M2 is famous for its surprisingly subtle and poignant storytelling, even if it’s the only game in the series to not give you a shred of context at the beginning of the game. It takes a relatively simple concept (“kill all Metroids to proceed”) and does interesting things with it, like showing you how dangerous these creatures are via the dwindling number of creatures, and showing Samus’ soft side with her sparing a newborn. This game is pretty much the catalyst of the entire story arc that ended with Dread, even more so than M1.

Graphics: 7/10. This game is pretty for being on a Game Boy, but it’s still on a Game Boy. The sprites and tiles are detailed, and the color limitations clearly pushed the artists to focus more on the environment - not to mention the whole story of how the Varia Suit came to have its iconic appearance. However, the monochrome really hurts the game nonetheless because it’s very hard to remember the specific phases, especially if you haven’t played AM2R. I played on a GBA emulator, which makes all sprites red and all terrain blue... it’s a nice look, but still not enough.

Music: 6/10. Look. There are some tracks that I genuinely love: Surface of SR-388, Omega Metroid Territory, the Queen theme, the Baby Metroid Theme. I don’t even mind the Chozo Temple theme, which almost everyone hates, and the title theme can compete with the original (stick around for the 0:50 mark). But not only the Game Boy soundfont is harsher on the ears than the NES’ (AM2R and SR show how interesting of a tune the Temple theme is when it’s not scratching your eardrums)... this game has barely any music. It helps the isolating atmosphere, but there’s not much to judge here.

Controls: 6/10. They’re mostly fine: the jump is still floaty but it gave me trouble only a few times, Samus can now crouch and aim down which is a blessing (no diagonal aiming, though, which the Alpha Metroids are happy to exploit), and while I hated the Space Jump on my first try, on the second try (with the only difference being that I found the Hi-Jump Boots) I found it much less finicky... it still is, but it was SM levels of frustrating, not “i want to set everything on fire” levels of frustrating. The Spider Ball is also very janky, but it’s an example of having patience and trusting the game: when you stop moving, let go of the buttons for a second and try again, and 99% you will move around (at a snail’s pace). My only other serious problem is the annoying knockback and pitifully shot mercy invincibility that can lead you to getting juggled by enemies. Overall, manageable, but it takes practice.

Difficulty: 7/10. Not a hard game, just one that takes some practice to master, mostly because of the controls and the hard-to-memorize map. The Zetas and Omegas are the biggest difficulty spike, and even then they both have a secret way to dispatch them - if you know it, even the hardest area in the game, Phase 9, is not too bad.

Navigation: 6/10. Lack of a map yet again, plus very obvious screen crunch that makes getting an idea of where you’re going harder than it could have been. The linearity helps matters a little, but due to the abundance of walls you can walk through without any hint that you can, it’s easy to not only miss useful items, but also to go in circles to find that last Metroid.

Backtracking: 5/10. Aside from one very odd moment where you have to go back and forth to kill one Metroid at a time, this game is famous for not having backtracking in mind: once you’re done with an area, there’s no incentive to visit it again, unless you think you forgot to collect an item. You can go back to your ship to completely refill (not save), but by the end of the game it’s not worth it. Speaking of end game, if you’re not good with the Omegas in Phase 9 or you didn’t collect enough Energy/Missile Tanks, you may be forced to backtrack to Phase 6, where the last Refills are. This is so annoying that a better strategy is to just get good with the Omegas.

Length: 7/10. A very short game, fitting for a handheld title. It took me 2:35 on my second try, and I’m positive that with some practice I could <2h it. Not a bad thing, especially considering its structure, but still.

Bosses: 4/10. The 15 Alphas are utterly pathetic, the 16 Gammas only take a few seconds more, the 3 Zetas have an easily exploitable AI, the 4 Omegas are little more than damage sponges if you fight them the easy way and a game of AI manipulation if you fight them the secret way, the 9 larvaes are not that scary compared to other games, the Queen has a simple pattern (although defeating her with bombs is gruesome and iconic), and Arachnus is so random that if it wasn’t for Fusion it’d be the most forgettable boss in the series.

Replayability value: 6/10. The only thing that might push you to come back is the amount of items hidden in obtuse places. Otherwise, if you don’t get bored when fighting 38 Metroids you could come back to get better times and get immersed once again in the creepy atmosphere of SR-388... but if you did find figthing with the Metroids boring, there’s no much incentive. I personally like SR-388, but it’s no Zebes.

The Baby: AWW IT’S A CUTIE <3/10

[bonvoyagenoona]

how do you keep track of so many wips and decide how to work on them? what’s your planning process like? you’re so prolific and seem so organized and i’m perpetually curious about how you manage it all!

Aww, thanks! It's good to know I seem prolific and organized 😅 I talked a little bit here about how I got started and where ideas come from and here about consistency(?), structure, and time.

Actually, would y'all be interested in vlogs about writing? I've noticed that I've gotten quite a few of these questions, and the questions that are out there generally have me thinking as well. I've been chatting with fellow writers all week about process, actually. I've also been wanting to experiment with video. My PTD trip video hasn't materialized and probably won't for at least a while, if ever, so I'm still looking for an excuse to play!

Aaaaanyway, refocusing on the present ask! I put together some resources and screenshots for planning and organization, as well as some notes on execution. Read on after the jump if you're into that sort of thing! You can also follow my #how i write tag, check out my BTS case conceptualizations project and follow the #bts case conceptualizations tag, and keep letting me know what kind of writer-y stuff you might be interested in! You know me, I'm always happy to take a closer look!

Intro

Do you love puzzles? I love puzzles. Words, numbers, shapes, patterns. I just really love puzzles. I like having a set structure and frameworks to play within, but near-infinite ways of going about solving things that eventually dwindle down into a clear solution.

I don't know how popular of a sentiment this is, but I think of all writing as solving a puzzle. This is a conversation that @mochilatae / Roomie and I have all the time! For me, thinking about it this way makes my intentions and goals clear. I then have a set structure that I follow, though the way that I move through that structure changes from fic to fic, or even word to word. This might feel and seem a little formulaic, but that's because it is, by design! Maybe this is why people feel I'm organized/consistent?

Some background context: a lot of my methods come from the basics of script writing and academic writing. There was a period of time when all I did was write plays and spec scripts (you can read some here!). There was also a time when all I wrote were APA manuscripts for academic publication. The things that both of these worlds have in common is that there are set rules and structures that help guide writers and readers alike. There's a shared language and a universal understanding, which translates into clear expectations and more objective ways of identifying if something is "successful" or not. Following a set style guide doesn't work for all types of writing, but if it happens to be your bag, I highly suggest checking out these frameworks!

Planning

I do a lot of world-building and fantasizing to start. Sometimes, it happens in a very compressed amount of time, like writing all of Like Butter in my head in the 20 seconds of Yoongi's Butter concept video. Sometimes, it happens across time, like the years of experiences I had in academia that informed Office Hours.

I don't use a specific process for this. The planning comes and goes in waves. I don't chase the energy; I follow it. I don't pressure myself to write when I don't feel like it, and I clear my schedule as much as I can if I notice that I'm in a groove. I recognize that that is a privilege that not many people have, but it admittedly has allowed me to adapt to moments when my muse is most fickle.

Organization

I think of organization in two categories: organization of a fic, and organization of all of my fics.

One fic: The way I organize a fic is very similar to the conventional ways scripts are laid out. I start with characterization, always. I assign clear and central themes and motivations to each character, and the process that helps support that are my case conceptualization tools.

I also outline before I start creatively writing, especially when I'm writing a novel-length fic with multiple chapters. I do this is by deciding on chapters titles upfront. I like using gimmicky chapter titles because 1) they're super fun, and 2) they help me stay focused on the theme of the story, thus helping with consistency and tone. You could say that I use each chapter title as a main thesis statement, or a heading, and each of the plot points underneath that as subheadings. This provides my work with a skeleton.

I also apply TV and play script-writing techniques: I identify my A, B, and C plots, and I go through and make sure that the characters who will support these plots are fully-fleshed out before beginning the story. I don't use specific screenwriting or other kinds of tools to help me manage this information because I often find that I get lost in learning or using these fancy-schmancy tools rather than focusing on the writing. Good ol' Google Docs is my go-to. If I take notes in notebooks or using apps, I always bring them into comments in the Google Doc for the fic. Centralizing everything in one, broad, flexible platform helps me move these little ideas and fragments around into the right places as I write the fic, and it helps me from forgetting anything.

Multiple fics: When it comes to juggling multiple fics, I find that having this set structure to start cuts down on planning time. I can simply copy and paste my template and start getting my ideas on the page. This also helps me jump from fic to fic; the worlds are built out and the structure is set, so I don’t have a huge cognitive load to deal with when context switching -- i.e., moving from one work to another feels easier. I simply save all my fics in a folder on Google Drive and jump around as my muse directs.

Execution

Many of you have generously said that I am prolific, which, wow, high praise, and I'll gladly take it, thanks! Your questions have also helped me reflect on my process, as well as try to dig into what you we might mean by “prolific”, “consistent”, “organized”, etc. The things I’ve mentioned above are related to the upfront work. Here are some notes on the actual writing. I’ve shared thoughts on this before, but here’s what I think has helped me get my stories out of my brain and into yours:

Playing a musical instrument has, I think, cemented a strong and particular type of expressive connection between my brain and my hands, helping me not only type quickly but also cut down the amount of time it takes for me to translate ideas into words (I wanna do a cognitive study of this too, wish I still had an attachment to my labs).

Using keyboard shortcuts also helps! Honestly, typing feels like playing the piano to me.

Front-loading the brainwork in planning and organizing (i.e., what I talked about above) according to a set structure that is easy to templatize helps me chunk and manage tons of information and multiple storylines (see links to another post and my carrd below for more details).

Slipping into something more comfortable, lol, literally! I was talking with the fantastic Shenee from Grown Ass Fandom about this. I like setting the mood for myself. Minimal distractions. Music and lighting to vibe to and, frankly, eventually ignore. The perfect snackies (hot cocoa is a fave). Most of all, oodles and oodles of time. If I’m going to write an angry scene, I make myself a little uncomfortable or listen to something irritable. If I’m going to write a sexy scene, I wear something that turns me on. Sometimes, I put on a full face, like I’m getting ready to see whoever I’m writing about. Costumes help!

Editing in parallel has helped me a ton! It took me years to develop this skill, but because I weirdly enjoyed learning about US English composition and APA style to what some would say a disturbing amount, I’ve internalized many basic writing conventions, which helps cut down time spent on the editing process. For better or worse, I also happen not to work with beta readers, though I am enjoying the feel of opening up my process to others through projects like AMOMK!

Writing literally all! the! time! Lots and lots of writing! It’s all I do! To the point where, in my deepest writing grooves, I won’t say a word to another human all day! I’ve been writing as a hobby since I was a kid. My research background also helps, in that I am accustomed to researching in parallel, too. My time in grad school was full of writing and editing case conceptualizations, as well as writing and editing academic papers based on my experiment data, on top of teaching classes and editing students’ papers, while also working on a thesis, and then a whole-ass dissertation. Throughout that time, I was also writing grants for lab funding. And, my early user experience research job required me to churn out research reports quickly and thoroughly (like I’m talking a weekly basis) in a way that tells an overarching, easy-to-follow narrative. It isn’t all fiction, but I write a LOT. Practice really is the best learning tool. Remember: writing anything will help with anything you write!

If you're interested in a deeper breakdown of my writing, check out this post, or my carrd! I made some fun little infographics about my process. I’m always super interested in chatting about writing, so let me know what other writing questions you have!

[cherrywoes]

dark sun. (ryoumen sukuna x f!reader x oc)

ii. ukiyo.

— living in the moment, detached from the bothers of life.

rating: mature for mentions of graphic violence and gore.

warnings: mentions of violence, gore, murder.

THE COLLEGE WAS not what you recalled it being. While the campus was still remotely similar, picking at familiar memories that you could only faintly recall from your childhood years, it was virtually empty besides a few staff members milling about. There were several sorcerers who appeared to be low class and unable to even be ranked properly. Ama-no-Kagaseo revealed to you as much with what little of his power you had access to. You weren’t totally oblivious to the dwindling number of sorcerers in the world, but you hadn’t exactly been kept in the loop at just how few of them there actually were.

“There are so few of you left here,” you noted quietly to Sayaka. She walked beside you at a leisurely pace, toting your bag for you—that had been a hard one to talk Ama-no-Kagaseo into solely because his cursed jewelry was in it—and allowing you to take in your first taste of freedom in over ten years. “Is the Kyoto campus any different?”

“Not to my knowledge.” Sayaka’s green eyes glinted in the sunlight, so different from when she was indoors under artificial lighting. She looked almost ethereal this way. “But it’s been a long time coming, so to speak. Irony has a weird way of intertwining with fate.”

You didn’t understand what exactly she was getting at, but nodded along as if you did and turned your attention to the male walking slightly behind you to your right. Inumaki Toge. His Curse ability obviously hinted at something verbally restrictive; Ama-no-Kagaseo wouldn’t give you much more than he wasn’t very fond of the ability in general. You were relying on context clues and looking too hard into things that might not be there, but it was the only choice you had—no one was volunteering any information to you, so you had to figure it out yourself.

“Who is that?” you inquired, eyes catching on a head of dusty pale pink hair in the distance. He was speaking with Gojo animatedly and appeared to be asking questions, as if he was as new to the experience as you were, and even wore a uniform with a customized hood. He and Gojo were the only ones you had seen so far, at least around the campus; everyone else either seemed to be hiding or doing something entirely away from socialization.

Sayaka appeared almost nervous to tell you. She looked at you from the corner of her eyes, specifically at Ama-no-Kagaseo’s dormant body in your arms, and then away, back towards the boy and Gojo. “That’s Sukuna’s vessel.”

You realized your mistake almost immediately. Ama-no-Kagaseo’s Curse energy, which usually enveloped you like a snug, warm blanket, grew frigid and cold and withdrew inside you. It felt like an ice pick to the chest, chilling you inside out, and for a moment, you wondered if he was going to take over. A quick brush of wind over your hair set you straight: he would not compromise your newfound freedom over Ryoumen Sukuna just yet. You weren’t sure what to feel about that—the eventuality that he would, someday, ruin your peace just for a shot at another Curse. And though the energy of Sukuna’s vessel made him furious, he did not allow it to creep into you and inadvertently flood your system with his power. There was only so much your human body could take before you became something more. 

“Shiraishi-san?” Sayaka called to you, her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. She had felt the sudden vanishing of Ama-no-Kagaseo’s curse energy like the absence of the sun in winter. To have such suffocating power blink out of existence within a second had given her whiplash, dizzying her before she realized what it had been. “Are you still present?”

You had the idea to scare her and act like Ama-no-Kagaseo. But that was unnecessarily cruel and not becoming of a Shiraishi vessel. Ama-no-Kagaseo may encourage your antics in private, but your life was on the line for every social faux pas and mistake you made. You couldn’t afford to play like that.

“I’m here,” you said, reassuring her with a small but strained smile. “Sukuna’s vessel, you said? What is his name?”

Like with all things, Sayaka did not want to tell you. You could see it in her face. But with Gojou dragging him over to introduce the three of you, Inumaki Toge somehow having vanished in the brief moments you had been absorbed into your thoughts, it was inevitable you would find out. She just had the choice to tell you outright or prove she was as untrustworthy as Ama-no-Kagaseo thought she was. And it would hurt to know that your Curse was right.

She sighed. “His name is Itadori Yuuji. He’s stubborn and bullheaded, but he has a good heart.”

None of that meant anything to you. Words were just words and you didn’t trust words. You trusted actions. And with Ryoumen Sukuna, Ama-no-Kagaseo didn’t trust a word or action from him. You would have to do the same—but what about Itadori Yuuji? The human boy? You would have to wait and see.

“Sayaka-chan, Shiraishi-san!” Gojou’s unusual politeness with the use of your name made Itadori’s eyebrows raise slightly. His white hair seemed perpetually frozen as he cocked his head back to regard you with covered eyes. “So, how is freedom treating you, Shiraishi-san?”

“It’s been well.” Your eyes drifted to Itadori Yuuji for a moment, lingering on the lines underneath his eyes, and then back to Gojou. “For now. I plan for it to be quiet a little longer before I disrupt it with chaos.”

Sayaka stiffened beside you. You almost hadn’t noticed it, the way Ama-no-Kagaseo’s words slipped into your mouth, the easy way you said it almost shocking to you. You didn’t allow your face to show it, but your mind was conflicted.

“I see.” Gojou hummed. You could at least trust him not to go to the higher ups; his hatred had at least one good outcome to it. You wondered how easily he would allow Ama-no-Kagaseo to murder all of them in cold blood. “Well, chaos aside, this is Itadori Yuuji! Itadori-san, meet Fujiwara, Sayaka—she’s a real bitch, so don’t go messing with her—and Shiraishi, [Name], the magnificent and glorious vessel of Ama-no-Kagaseo.”

“Gojou,” Sayaka growled in warning, but it was too late.

Faster than you could blink, a sharp line cut a path over the sorcerer’s cheek, right through his Infinity. Blood streaked down his jaw in a crimson river and you idly watched a droplet fall to the ground and seep between the cracks in the stone.

“Testy, isn’t he?” Gojou wiped his cheek with the sleeve of his uniform. His jolly mood seemed to have faded and now he felt grim, speculative, eyeing you even behind the blindfold. “His temper sure has gotten shorter.”

“I apologize,” you began softly,”for—”

“Eh, it’s fine,” the sorcerer waved his hand dismissively. Your mouth pulled into a displeased line at the dismissal and for that he earned another cut to his knuckles, splitting them open to expose bone. “Ah, well, maybe not.”

Sayaka said nothing through the whole interaction. It wasn’t as if she could do anything to stop him. While the higher ups lauded her as the best executioner among the sorcerers, she was nothing in the face of Ama-no-Kagaseo and she knew it. One wrong move would have her beheaded, or worse, disemboweled, both tame options compared to what the Curse actually wanted to do to her, which you tried not to think about.

Itadori Yuuji was quiet as well, but for different reasons. He was staring at you in awe and surprise, with Sukuna painfully oblivious to how close his mortal enemy was standing to him. If Ama-no-Kagaseo didn’t want him to know he was there, then he wouldn’t know until he wanted him to. But by verbatim, he would figure it out eventually the next time he took over Yuuji, or even probed through his memories a bit.

“Let’s go, Yuuji,” Gojou said, finally, and with a renewed air, dragged him away towards the practice grounds.

You didn’t look back. Ama-no-Kagaseo did.

                                     < back | masterlist | next >

                                     taglist: @picturethosesmiles​ (lmk if you want to be added.) 

[kittae]

Under The Missiletoe [1]

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Genre: Sci-fi, fantasy, Fluff, a lil bit of comedy,... we’ll see what else!

words: 5k

summary: Yoongi is an extraterrestrial scout, sent by his superiors from his home planet BT21, to gauge the chances of successfully usurping planet Earth. When his ship lands, it’s December 24th. Yoongi is tasked with observing the strange behavior of Earth’s inhabitants to get a good idea of whether or not they would pose a threat. Satisfied with what he finds, he prepares to go back home. His ship seems to have become defect in the meantime, leaving him stranded on Earth. He strolls into a convenience store (he needed to gather some evidence to present to his superiors anyway) and finds a lonely girl, one who’s not smiling. His curiosity gets the best of him.

Author’s note: The first part of this fic, because I got too many ideas while writing and it escalated (as expected)! This will have a second installment soon! I really enjoy writing this, so I hope you’ll have fun reading it! (please excuse errors, I used up all my juice to finish this so editing is for another day!)

Warning: only a liiiittle bit of violence and some swearing for now!

→ Part of the stranded for christmas Collab!

“This is ISV Aeron, reporting to home base, do you copy?”

“This is BT21 home base, Avalon station, I copy.”

“Requesting permission to disclose travel log.”

“Permission granted.”

“Approaching destination Earth, ready to enter atmosphere. Vehicle deficiency tests all negative. Landing coordinates approximately 41° 52' 54.5952'' N and 87° 37' 23.4372'' W.”

“Any abnormal observations so far?”

“Negative.”

“Proceed with landing process and notify us after arrival. Keep defensive appliances close for your own safety. In case of hostile activity, proceed as seen in training and return to home base immediately. Good luck, captain Min.”

“Copy that, sir.”

A single tap on the earpiece ends the conversation immediately. This is, hopefully, the last time he’d hear a familiar voice for a while. Aside from notifying them of a successful landing, he’s only supposed to initiate contact with his home base in case of emergency or at take-off. So far, though, everything has gone surprisingly smooth.

The cosmic ball of life, encircled by a radiant, blue light, grows rapidly in size as he approaches its atmosphere. Years of training and simulations prepared him for the intense turbulence and other kinds of impact he puts his small but agile ship through, once he breaks through the barrier and gravity takes over. The vehicle soars through the mesosphere like a rocket, small droplets of sweat dampening the hair underneath his helmet when the ship externally catches fire. He doesn’t panic, knowing the material has been designed for this mission –and all that comes with it– specifically. This is Yoongi’s cue to start braking, drastically decreasing the velocity with which he’s rocketing towards the surface.

Despite having gone through countless simulations, the real thing proves to be more challenging than anticipated. He holds his breath as he keeps a tight grip on the steering element, controlling the ship to the best of his abilities. He already knows it’s going to be a rough landing, but nothing he can’t handle. It requires incredible amounts of focus and precision, considering he’ll be landing near a densely populated area and wants to remain unnoticed. For now.

There’s an open field behind the woods, large enough for him to land safely and secluded enough to hide his ship from curious humans. This is his target. With the speed he’s still going, though, it’ll be tough to land precisely where he wants. Good thing there’s no better pilot than him.

Only a few more seconds before he’ll reach the ground, when Yoongi stays calm and collected as he swiftly creates the necessary combinations from the impressive control panel. He easily knows his way around the countless buttons and gears, lights and wheels. The high technology of the ship is like a second home to him. One he’ll leave for something entirely unknown, soon.

As expected, the ship lands neatly in the field, with space to spare. However, as Yoongi predicted, it’s a rather rough landing. The ship was still going slightly too fast for a smooth one, but he needed the speed as not to land in the trees instead. The vehicle shocks and shakes when it hits the ground, grating off the grass and several layers of earth as it digs itself into the soil for a couple more meters until it comes to a full stop. The body of the ship, made from extremely valuable metals from his home planet, still smoulders when the door automatically opens.

The night has already fallen, it seems. There aren’t many stars visible in the sky, their light compromised by the artificial illumination coming from the city. Yoongi feels the icy breeze fan over his cheeks when he steps outside. He remembers learning about a phenomenon on Earth, called ‘seasons’. Because of the planet’s tilted axis, throughout the year, different parts of Earth receive the Sun’s most direct rays. Having studied this planet until he knew its mannerisms and workings inside and out, Yoongi came prepared.

His team has arranged a collection of garments for him to wear, to blend in with the humans and stay protected against this planet’s unpredictable atmospheric conditions. Something to place on his head, and around his hands. It still feels odd and unnatural, but he doesn’t feel like returning home with some strange human disease, caused by his own carelessness. He can’t risk putting his own kind in danger by causing an epidemic. If there’s one thing he’s learned about humans, it’s that they’re walking disease mills. The best thing he can do for himself is to keep himself at a safe distance, and not let his own immune system dwindle under any circumstances.

With that thought in mind, he wraps a long and thick piece of fabric around his neck and throat. It instantly adds warmth and comfort. Better safe than sorry. Adjusting to this planet might not be such a challenge after all. He’s sure he’s got quite the hang of it already.

Another tap on the earpiece reconnects him with the station. “This is ISV Avalon, here to notify BT21 homebase of safe landing with exact coordinates 41° 52' 54.5952'' N and 87° 37' 23.4372'' W. No threats so far, presumably because of the wild vegetative environment. Will now explore the field closer to the subjects, after ensuring the vehicle’s preservation. This was captain Min, ISV Avalon, going offline until further notice.” His hot breath creates a cloud of steam, evaporating in the cold air, when he heaves a slightly tense sigh. Getting the ship to land safely was the easy part. Now comes the hard part: observing the subjects.

Fishing a tiny remote the size of a fingernail out of the pocket of his jacket, it only takes one click to hide the ship entirely by activating the invisibility shield. This way, no snooping humans will find it. His snooping, however, has yet to begin.

Fairly confident in his knowledge and training, he starts walking towards the forest. It’s not long until he finds the city, bare before him underneath a tall hill. Despite his usually unwavering professionalism, he can’t keep his heart from beating faster the closer he gets to the streets. After all, he’s worked towards this moment his entire life. The moment he gets to see planet Earth and its inhabitants with his own two eyes. He’s always been fascinated by this project and finally, after hundreds of years, he’s the one who gets to play the most important role of all.

Only one other has stood where he stands. Well, not precisely in this spot, but he came to Earth with the same objective. Unfortunately, he never made it back to BT21. As it so appeared, he got caught in the middle of a warfare waged amongst the humans, at the time. As such, the first attempt of accomplishing this mission had failed. Now, over seventy years later –although time means little to his kind, since it’s a human construct– the honour has fallen upon him. Bringing this mission to a successful end would mean great progress for his people. The beginning of a new era. The failed attempt of his predecessor was not in vain, however, as it provided them with loads of valuable information. Information he could now use, to be better prepared.

Turning his wrist to face the sky, the minuscule chip underneath his skin starts glowing. It creates a holographic screen, showing his reflection and ready to record.

“Captain’s log, day one, shortly after arrival on planet Earth. It is night time as I approach the city, and I can hear strange sounds coming from the streets. Despite it being dark, it doesn’t seem to stop the humans from going outside. We believed they tend to rest when night falls, yet there seem to be a significant amount of people, conscious and busy. This is my first observation, and already they prove to be rather interesting. I’m going to take a closer look, yet keep my weapons close to me, should they make an attempt to attack.”

The screen is gone as quickly as it came and his wrist stops glowing, making him appear completely normal again. Another big benefit, is that his kind and humans have no apparent physical differences, at first glance. He looks just like one, which makes it so much easier to explore their planet. Scientists back home believe their kind must have evolved from humans, a long, long time ago. Although it’s clear that the ones on Earth are much more primitive, still, he doesn’t classify himself as human. There are too many differences if one looks past outer appearance.

Even though he feels excitement, walking into the busy streets filled with music and vibrating with lively energy, he remains cautious. Some people are already looking at him in a strange way, but he feels it’s innocent curiosity seeing as they smile and laugh. A positive indicator.

“Why is he dressed like that?” He hears a male utter to his female companion as they walk by.

“Shhh, not so loud! Some people are just really into vintage fashion, Connor. I think it’s cool.” She replies.

Yoongi instantly catches their short exchange of words, despite their lousy attempt to keep it quiet. It makes him think. He has no clue what ‘vintage’ or ‘cool’ means, but he figures it’s the clothes, drawing too much attention to him. Now he’s really looking around, he realises no one is wearing garments even remotely resembling his. He needs to find a way to fix this. He’s not blending in as well as he’d expected.

His first challenge here on Earth comes sooner than he would’ve liked, but he knew it was inevitable. Still, he keeps his calm and reminds himself of the extensive lessons in Humanology. Walking into one of the large buildings, showcasing garments behind tall windows, he acts indifferent, mimicking the behaviour of the people around him. He observes some racks, faintly recognizing the clothes as those for female humans. Women, he believes they’re called here. He shouldn’t dwell here for much longer, or people will notice something’s off about him. On to the male garment section!

These look more like the ones the males on the street are wearing, and he knows he’s in the right place.

“Hello, sir. Can I be of any help?” A voice sounds from behind him, startling him so badly he instinctively reaches for his laser gun. He stops himself just in time when he realises the human most likely means no harm in this context. He appears to be submissive, and asks to assist. This might be easy after all!

Yoongi clears his throat before he speaks to a human for the first time. “Indeed. I need garments, young male.”

The young man blinks a few times, confusion showing on his face for a split second, before he collects himself again, putting his thoroughly practiced customer service smile back on. “Of course, sir. What are you looking for, exactly?”

Yoongi thinks about that question for a second. “Not...vintage. Or cool. None of those concepts.”

The store clerk enthusiastically claps his hands, making Yoongi flinch. “Ah! A man with taste, I see! You’ve come to the perfect place, sir. We pride ourselves in our eye for highly stylish and qualitative fashion without following short-lived hype. You know how it is with kids these days, one moment they’re all crazy about the newest designs and the next it’s something totally different. Apparently, now, it’s vintage. Those second-hand stores are even getting popular because of it. The older the better, can you believe it?”

The clerk eyes Yoongi up and down and visibly regrets his words after realising what he’s wearing, oblivious to the fact Yoongi didn’t understand a single thing of his rambling, anyway. Still, he nods as if he did and lets the young man lead the way.

“This is part of our new collection.” The man adds when he stops in front of a rich

black, cashmere turtleneck sweater. “Now, I admit, it is a bit pricier but you’ll find the material to be divine. It’s also perfect to wear with the holidays–”

“I will purchase this item.” Yoongi nods curtly, approving of this simple garment. The colour is attractive and it looks warm.

“Wonderful!” The clerk’s face lights up with joy and Yoongi wonders what he did to make this human so happy. “This turtleneck is also great in combination with these trousers, shoes and coat.”

Yoongi carefully examines the other items, which the assistant mistakes as doubt.

“I’ll bring these to the fitting room so you can try them on, sir. You will see how well they’ll fit you once you wear them.”

Not sure what a fitting room is, Yoongi follows the man nevertheless. The garments are being neatly hung on hooks on the wall, as the clerk gestures for Yoongi to go inside the cabin. He decides to trust this friendly human, but remains suspicious when the curtain closes behind him. He guesses that he’s supposed to switch his old garments for the new ones in here.

Fortunately, he’s had some experience with these types of clothing and manages to put them on correctly. It looks completely different, but in a good way. He’s sure he won’t draw any unwanted attention like this.

Making use of the privacy he’d obtained inside this cabin, he takes the chance to record another short log.

“Captain’s log, day one, shortly after the first one. I have come to the conclusion that the garments prepared for me by my team are not sufficient. Apparently, time is very important here on Earth. A lot of things change in short periods. My garments caused me to draw too much attention, so I went into a Garment Building to purchase modern ones. I am currently inside something they call a ‘fitting room’, which is a cabin they close with a piece of cloth to ensure physical privacy. Remember, humans detest public nudity. This is why I manage to create this log, undisturbed.”

He lowers his wrist to showcase his new outfit. “These are the garments I will be purchasing. I think they are far more visually pleasing than the ones prepared for me. It is possible that these humans have evolved in this short period of time, which amazes me. I am most inquisitive about what other changes I will discover. These humans seem tame in comparison to the ones my predecessor, Minho, has described. This would mean great success in regards to this mission. I will now continue my exploration.”

When he comes out of the fitting room, fully changed into his new attire, the store clerk stands there, waiting for him dutifully. Even if he heard Yoongi talk to himself in there, he doesn’t make a comment on it. He just assumes he’s some kind of popular, new influencer doing vlogs, especially with the weird way he speaks. When he sees Yoongi, a dramatic gasp tears from his lips.

“You look stunning, sir! Absolutely ravishing!” He places a hand on his chest to steady himself. “I have never seen a more perfect picture than you, standing here before me!”

Yoongi assumes the young male is complimenting him, although it makes him feel a little bit uneasy. It’s human custom to return the kindness, however. “...Thank you. You look very...stunning...too.”

This makes the young man blush. “Why, sir, you’re quite the charmer, aren’t you? I’m sure you have people lining up to date you.”

“Date?” Yoongi murmurs, confused. Isn’t that some kind of combat technique? “Ah, yes! Many people would like to… date me, but they have never succeeded!” He announces proudly.

“As expected.” The clerk winks and Yoongi flinches again. What an odd gesture. Still, Yoongi feels reassured now that this complete stranger recognizes his exceptional combat skills.

“Are you taking all of these, sir? Or are there some things you aren’t completely sure of?” He asks Yoongi, gesturing at the clothes he’s wearing.

“I approve of all of these items. I would like to purchase the set.” Yoongi lets him know as he takes out the pocket with currency, also provided for him by his team.

“Excellent decision! Would you like to change back into your other clothes or would you prefer to keep this outfit on?”

“I have no use for the garments I came here with. These fresh ones will remain on my body.”

“Perfect! Then, please follow me to the cash desk, sir.”

Yoongi complies, emptying the pocket on the desk in front of the cheerful shopping assistant. He doesn’t even get fazed at Yoongi’s strange behaviour anymore. Remarkable adaptation abilities, these humans!

“Is this enough currency to purchase?” Yoongi asks.

The young man behind the desk throws a brief, hesitant look at the pile of cash money, but quickly answers with a syrupy sweet smile. “Let me count that for you, sir.”

To Yoongi’s relief, the assistant manages to collect the correct amount of money after counting for a few minutes.

“You may want to invest in a credit card, sir. It would certainly make a lot of things much easier...for you, of course.”

“Ah, yes. Certainly.” Yoongi smiles while putting the surplus of cash back in his pocket. He has no idea what a ‘credit card’ could be.

When he exits the building, it is with a newfound confidence and era-appropriate outfit. The human who assisted him didn’t suspect a thing! Yoongi always knew he’d be quite competent for the job, but if he had known it would only take this much effort for him to blend in? He wouldn’t have had all those sleepless nights back home, perfecting his imitations. Well, maybe it’s because he stayed up late, studying human behaviour, that got him so far. Yet it seems like all it really took was a change of garments.

He roams the streets with a calmer heart now, feeling safe enough to observe more details. The more he learns, the better they can prepare themselves for the next installment of the plan. Everywhere, music plays. Different melodies are flowing into each other as they come out of the stores. There’s one in particular Yoongi keeps hearing until he starts to recognize the words.

“...Make my wish come true. All I want for christmas, is you.” He quietly sings along under his breath, cheeks flushed either from the cold or the embarrassment, wondering what his peers back home would think of such behaviour. Still, he comforts himself with the thought that no one can hear him unless he contacts them himself. Enjoying human music will be his little secret to keep from his time on Earth.

Christmas. The word keeps popping up, everywhere he looks and in everything he hears. It must be something very important.

As he continues to ponder over what this ‘Christmas’ could be, he follows the brightly illuminated decorations, hanging at the top of the buildings and over the streets. He’s so deep in thought, he doesn’t even notice how he’s walking away from the city centre and into a dark neighborhood. There are no festive lights, no music or vibrant crowds. When Yoongi notices the sudden silence, he also perceives the sound of footsteps, matching his own.

Upon turning around, he finds a strange man wielding a blade of some sort. Yoongi understands he’s finally being threatened, and slowly reaches for his laser gun.

“You look like some posh fucker. Walking around this part of town in those nice clothes, huh? Bet you got money to spare.” The assailant hisses, moving closer as he speaks.

Yoongi stays quiet and doesn’t move an inch as he lets the thug come closer. He just needs to be patient.

“What, cat got your tongue? Those fancy clothes didn’t come with a witty answer? You rich fucks are usually good at that, no?” The foul man is now within arm’s length, the blade dangerously close to Yoongi’s abdomen. This is his time to strike.

Faster than the blink of an eye, Yoongi overpowers the unsuspecting male with few but extremely precise moves. The man is now subjected to his mercy, his shoulder in a painful angle and with a strange weapon in his face.

“What is your objective?” Yoongi calmly asks.

“My...my what?!” The thug squeaks in between pain-induced hisses.

“Your objective. What is the reason for your attack?”

The man stares at him in disbelief. “Wh- isn’t that obvious?! Your money, man! I wanted your money!”

“Money?” Yoongi muses. “You would harm one of your own, for currency?”

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Is the criminal’s response. “Please, let me go… I’ll leave you alone, I promise!”

“Hm, not much persistence, I see.” Yoongi tuts, a tad bit disappointed. “I expected your kind to be more violent.”

The other says nothing, opting to go cross-eyed looking at Yoongi’s weapon instead.

“Tell me something.” Yoongi demands.

“Anything. Anything if you let me live. Please…”

“What is this...Christmas? What does it mean?”

Confusion is written all over the thug’s face. “Ch-christmas? Y-you don’t know what Christmas is?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, briefly losing his composure. He doesn’t appreciate his intelligence being questioned by a lowly human like this.  “Since I am asking something like you to enlighten me, you may assume that I am not yet informed about this concept.”

The man nods fervently. “Ch-christmas is… You know, it’s… It’s a popular holiday. People buy each other gifts. There’s Santa Claus–”

“Santa Claus?” Yoongi frowns.

“Yeah, he’s like, uh, a fat Finnish dude with a white beard and red clothes and he gives presents to children.”

“Why is that?”

“I- I don’t know, he… Just does? It’s not real, anyway, people just dress up like him at the mall to earn a few extra bucks.”

Yoongi has a really hard time understanding the language this male is speaking, but his curiosity has not yet been satisfied.

“So, this… Santa Claus. He gives human offspring gifts? That’s what christmas is?”

“Well, no… Not really–”

“You dare lie to me, human?” Yoongi growls, pushing the tip of his weapon into the man’s cheek.

“No! Of course not!” He squeaks, “I just meant that it’s not the most important thing about Christmas! Christmas is about… It’s about family. Spending time with your family, exchanging gifts with each other. The Santa Claus thing is all marketing but people come together on Christmas.”

“Why?” He asks again.

“Because they love each other.” The man’s tone of voice suddenly changes. He sounds...saddened. “They spend time with each other, eat food, play games… It’s a time for families and friends to come together and enjoy each other’s company.”

That confuses Yoongi. “But you’re alone. If it is Christmas, why are you roaming the streets, attacking people for currency? Why are you not with your family to do Christmas?”

The thug lets his head hang, no longer even afraid of Yoongi’s weapon. “Because I have no one to spend it with.”

A strange feeling stirs inside Yoongi’s chest. He can’t really place it, and it makes him uncomfortable. Time to end this interrogation.

“I much appreciate your cooperation. I will spare your life.” He decides, reaching for another device, stored in his pocket, and aiming it at the strange man.

“Wait– you said you’d spare me!” The other panics, but it’s too late.

One simple flick of Yoongi’s thumb activates the device, sending sonic waves into the direction of his target. The man loses consciousness almost instantly, only to fall asleep on the cold concrete of the street.

“You are a pitiful being.” Yoongi murmurs before he drags the limp, unconscious body of the thug into a more secluded alley. He leaves him there, but not before zipping up his garments to its full capacity and putting some currency in his pockets. He’s not quite sure why he did that.

He needs to confirm this male’s theory. If what he said is true, then Yoongi’s job here is done.

On his way back, he shamelessly peers through the windows and into people’s houses to observe their activities. And just as the thug explained, he sees humans from varying ages gathered in their houses. Smiling, eating, laughing. Giving each other wrapped objects, which he assumes are the ‘presents’. They seem completely harmless. Defenseless, even. He could wipe out this entire city on his own, and with ease.

Not once, aside from the incident with the pitiful male earlier, has he encountered armed humans like his predecessor had described. The time for warfare on Earth appears to have passed, and with it, people have become comfortable in their little bubble of safety. They let their guard down, making it all too easy for a foreign civilisation to usurp their whole planet. Home after home, he finds the same scene of happy, carefree humans, enjoying sustenance and each other’s presence. This is not even the challenge he’d secretly hoped for. It almost feels...wrong.

He can’t let himself dwell on useless emotions like this, however. His kind has evolved too far to attach any importance to things like feelings. This is good news. He needs to return to BT21 immediately. His stay has been far shorter than he’d expected and, granted, he’d like to extend his knowledge about humans further, yet he feels relieved to go home.

Yoongi turns his back on the streets that fascinated him only shortly before, to make his way through the forest once again. As he reaches the open field, harbouring his hidden ship, he presses the tiny remote to lift the shield. Nothing happens.

Frowning, he tries again. Still no luck. When the tiny remote starts to glow a pulsing red, he knows what the problem is. His ship is still in time-out, needing at least twenty-four hours to repair itself and recuperate from the rough landing. This to ensure a safe trip back home. For at least twenty-four hours, the ship will be in sleep mode, and there is nothing Yoongi can do to activate it sooner. Meaning, the radio connection is also down at the moment. He can’t even notify the home base of his discovery.

This might not be so bad after all. At least now, he has an excuse to keep exploring just a little bit more. The curiosity tickles and the city beckons him to return.

Of all days, you hadn’t thought your boss would make you work on freaking Christmas Eve. So what, your family lived abroad and neither of you could afford plane tickets so you’d be alone anyways, but is that a reason to make anyone work the night shift during the holidays?! Ridiculous.

It’s almost midnight and only a handful of people have passed through the convenience store this evening. Which isn’t surprising, considering most people are cozying up at home with their families, drinking good wine and eating good food. Giving each other presents. You know your mom sent you a gift, but it hasn’t been delivered yet. You expect it to arrive somewhere this week, though.

It’s stupid. It’s stupid you have to work on what’s supposed to be a magical night, to keep a store open for only a couple of customers. He could’ve easily decided to just close for tonight.

You sigh, defeated, before you stretch your arms above your head and leave your counter to get some fresh air. If you’d smoke, you would have something to do. You’re bored and miserable and you want to go home and make yourself a carb fest while binging your favorite Netflix series. But you need the money. College tuitions don’t pay themselves.

Only a minute after you’d sat back down behind your counter, sneakily watching some episodes on your phones, a new customer walks in. You pause Netflix to greet them, albeit a bit half-heartedly. Most people coming in at this our need cigarettes or booze. When you look up, though, you don’t see your typical after-midnight customer. You’re facing one of the prettiest men you’ve ever seen in your life. And he’s holding a black cat?

“Ah… greetings. I found this creature,” he holds the cat up in a rather clumsy manner, “It vibrates.”

What in the…?

[anistarrose]

If The Sky Comes Falling Down (GF One-Shot)

Summary: Stan’s (and Ford’s) birthdays throughout the years.

Word Count: ~2300

Warnings: none

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226707

Happy June 15th! (Title is from Hey Brother by Avicii!)

***

Stan and Ford are ten years old, and every one of their birthdays has been shared.

Every year, from the second the final school bell rings and onwards, the twins’ number one priority is planning the best birthday ever — what type of cake they want, which comic issues each of them should beg their parents for in order to maximize their combined yield, how they want to spend the day in order to make it the best day of the whole year.

Other kids at school seem to feel sorry for them, like having to share your birthday ruins all the fun of it, but to Stan and Ford, sharing has always been the whole point. With a twin, you’ve always got someone just as dedicated as you are to making your birthday perfect.

They’d never want it any other way.

Stan and Ford are seventeen years old, ready for their final year of high school, and as always they spend their birthday together. Today, they’re using the morning to work on the boat.

Freedom is tantalizingly close — just one more year of school, one more year of putting up with Dad. It feels just barely out of reach, just barely over the horizon.

If they time this thing right, and put in enough work, they might be able to complete the repairs just in time to sail out of town on the very day they turn eighteen. It’ll be a poetic and dramatic exit, as they journey onwards to clearer waters and grander adventures.

Just the two of them, going wherever they want to go. Stan can’t wait.

Stan (and Ford) are eighteen years old, and they aren’t spending their birthday together this year.

Ford is probably with his family — or maybe he’s already headed out to college and made new friends replacements there, for all Stan knows…

No, don’t waste time thinking about that, it won’t end well. The only thing Stan knows is that for the first time in his life, he’s spending his birthday alone, and he doesn’t have any idea what to do. Birthdays without Ford are a foreign concept to him, like an entirely new holiday that he’s never celebrated before, and he just feels empty.

Eventually, he settles on going to the nearest comic store and blowing his dwindling supplies of cash on the installments he’s missed over the past few months. He ends up not even having enough money to both get fully caught up and eat tomorrow, so he only buys a few issues — but it’s still enough to put a smile on his face that evening, even if that smile is only brought about by indulging in denial, by pretending he’s back home and everything with Ford is just as it’s always been.

Stan (and Ford) are twenty, twenty-five, thirty years old, and Stan still treats himself for his birthday however he can most years — if not the fifteenth, then the eighteenth, or even the twenty-eighth if it takes him that long to get ahold of a few spare dollars. And many years, he enjoys himself, but on others it just isn’t worth the painful memories that always tend to surface.

He’s realizing that sharing your date of birth with someone isn’t so fun after all, if you’re not sharing the celebration too.

Stan is thirty-one years old, and he doesn’t know if Ford is too because he doesn’t know if Ford’s even alive.

Summer is peak tourist season, so he has plenty of cash to spare, but he doesn’t do anything to celebrate when his birthday rolls around. He briefly has the notion that he should buy a cake and bring it downstairs to the portal room, but he discards the idea just as quickly. It just hurts to much to acknowledge.

Stan is fifty-two years old, and has been for nearly a month now as he gives Soos a reassuring pat on the back. The kid’s tears slow down a little, but not enough.

“Hey now, what’s the matter? Do you need to go home, ‘cause… well, it pains me to say this, but you haven’t missed a day of work since I’ve hired you, and I guess I could give you one day off with full pay…”

Soos shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. I — I don’t wanna be at home today.”

“Uh…” That surprises Stan, because as far as he knows Soos has a pretty idyllic home life with a grandmother who does nothing but dote on him — but if Stan has to curse out an old lady for reducing Soos to a bawling wreck, then he’ll do it, damn it. He’s cursed out stranger characters before.

There’s a sharp rap on the door — specifically the door to the private side of the Mystery Shack, not the side that’s open to tourists.

“Shoot, I gotta get this. Be right back,” Stan tells Soos, tossing him a box of tissues on the way out. Soos makes no effort to catch them, and the box bounces off his shoulder with a thwack as Stan cringes internally and hurries to the back porch.

And speak of the devil, it’s Soos’s Abuelita who’s waiting for him there, anxiously fidgeting with the straps of her apron.

“Has Soos come into work today?” she asks. “He said he would take the day off for his birthday party this afternoon, but he is not at home!”

Oh. So it’s a birthday thing.

“Yeah, I think I saw him swing by today,” Stan answers slowly. “I’ll go find him for you.”

“Thank you! I was so worried…”

Stan heads back inside, and sits down on the ground next to Soos even though his back protests against him with a burst of pain.

“Hey, kid. Your Abuelita’s looking for you.”

Soos buries his head in his hands, and mumbles something incomprehensible.

“Not a fan of birthday parties, huh? It’s okay… I’m not either.”

Soos looks up. “Really?”

Stan looks away. “Yeah, they’re just… not my thing.”

“My dad always promises he’d come visit on my birthday,” Soos mumbles. “But then he never does…”

“Oh, kid. I’m so sorry about that.” Stan pauses, and then throws an arm over Soos’s shoulder.

“I get it,” he whispers. “When it’s supposed to be the greatest day of the year for you, but then the people you care about — or the people you want to care about you — aren’t there, year after year, then it… it really wears you down.”

“Does your family never visit you on your birthday, Mr. Pines?”

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, something like that.”

Soos wraps his arms around Stan’s chest, trapping him in a surprisingly tight hug.

“I thought I was the only one who hated my birthday,” he whispers. “I’m sorry your family’s like that, Mr. Pines, but… I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Stan is sixty-one years old, and he’s perfected the art of doing nice things for himself in early June and then lying to himself about it.

The party’s just a moneymaking scheme, nothing more. Getting to dance all night and eat marshmallows and other junk food? Those are just bonuses, and the timing? Falling exactly on the fifteenth of June? Well, that’s definitely just a coincidence.

Mabel is a whirlwind of energy and excitement on the dance floor, having apparently made some new friends, and Dipper is who-knows-where, probably off shirking his responsibilities and making trouble. They’re both good kids — their weirdness and stubbornness and just general twin-ness is a comforting kind of familiar on some days, and a worrying kind of familiar on others, but that’s not their fault. They don’t know.

Something about the presence of the younger twins tells Stan that it’s this summer that everything will finally change, though. That this is the last birthday that he’ll spend alone, unable to share.

Stan and Ford are both sixty-one, and all of those years have only led up to this. To the sky being ripped apart, and a demon burning the town to the ground.

“We used to be like Dipper and Mabel,” Ford says. “The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it?”

“Easy, they’re kids,” Stan tells him. “They don’t know any better.”

Ford stands up, a determined but wistful look in his eyes.

“Whoa, where you going?”

“I'm going to play the only card we have left — let Bill into my mind,” Ford explains. “He'll be able to take over the galaxy, and maybe even worse… but at least he might let the kids free.”

“What? Are you kidding me?! Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!”

“Bill's only weak in the mindspace. If I didn't have this darn plate in my head —” Ford makes a fist and hits the side of his skull for emphasis, producing a metallic clang. “— we could just erase him with the memory gun when he steps inside my mind.”

“What if he goes into my mind? My brain isn’t good for anything.”

Ford chuckles sadly. “There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me. We need to take his deal, it's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.”

“Do you really think he’s gonna make good on that deal?”

Ford sighs. “What other choice do we have?”

“You could… holy shit, Ford, quick! Put on my clothes!”

“Excuse me?!”

Stan takes off his fez and slaps it on Ford’s head. “If we switch places, Bill can go in my mind and then you can erase him! If it fooled all our teachers, why can’t it fool a demon?”

Ford throws the fez to the ground and grabs him by the shoulders, and Stan braces himself for a reply of you idiot, that’ll never work, don’t you think I would have thought of that myself if it would? — but he’s left completely unprepared for the words that actually come out of Ford’s mouth, quiet and slow and afraid in a way Stan hasn’t heard in decades:

“Stanley, that won’t just erase Bill. It’ll erase you.”

“But will it work?” Stan doesn’t even need to ask — Ford has a certain gleam in his eyes, a certain look of awe upon his face that only appears when he’s truly blown away by a revelation that never occurred to him, but makes all the sense in the world. It’s a look that’s partially obscured behind an expression of fear, of guilt, of desperation — but it’s definitely there.

“It will work,” Ford whispers, “but I don’t want to lose you.”

“It’s either erasing one idiot’s memories or letting a lot of people die, Ford! We’re — we’re running out of time, damn it!”

Ford stares at the ground as he begins to pull off his trenchcoat. “I’m so sorry, Stan.”

“I am too, Ford.”

A man wakes up in a clearing and remembers nothing, least of all his age.

Strangers approach him, cry over him, call him a hero and hug him uncomfortably tight, and he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say.

Ford, the older man, tells him that his name is Stanley, and that the two of them are brothers, that they’re twins, but something about the realization rings hollow. Any connection Stan might’ve once had with this man has since been severed, leaving them to share a face, a birthday, and nothing more.

…Or at least, that’s what one would think, because surely a disoriented and confused shell of a man with ill-fitting clothes and no memories can’t be a brother to anyone, not in any of the ways that truly matter — but when Stan looks at Ford and sees him staring off into the distance with a defeated frown on his face, looks at any of these strangers and sees them in anguish… his heart feels like it’s about to be torn in two. So maybe, just maybe, some fragment of a connection has persisted.

He tries to lighten the mood, to no avail, and tries to remember the scenes in the scrapbook the girl shows him — and when words start spilling out of his mouth on instinct, he’s relieved not for himself, but for the others. (For his family.)

He’s relieved when he sees them start to smile, to hope, and finally thinks Yeah, these faces look familiar.

Stan and Ford are sixty-two years old, and they blow out the candles on their birthday cake together as Dipper takes pictures and Mabel showers both of them in confetti.

“Mabel, sweetie, that’s kind of a fire hazard,” Stan warns her. “You know, with the candles and all —”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Ford cuts in. “We all know where the fire extinguisher is, don’t we?”

“Yeah, because you’ve already come seconds away from blowing us into the stratosphere twice this summer!”

They laugh, and then Stan and Ford argue over who gets to cut the cake, but there’s no malice behind the words. It’s just the usual sibling banter — one of the many little things that Stan and Ford have found themselves appreciating more than ever this past year, after having gone so long without it.

Everyone is stuffed except for Stan, who’s cleaning out the last few spoonfuls from a tub of ice cream, when Ford pours one last glass of milk and raises it towards Stan like one would for a toast.

“Here’s to more birthdays together,” he says, and Stan hastily picks up his own cups to clink it against Ford’s. It’s not a very satisfying clink, since both cups are plastic, but it’s good enough. It’s the sentiment that really makes the toast, after all.

“To more birthdays together,” Stan echoes.

***

Endnotes:

Thanks for reading, feedback and reblogs are appreciated as always! I realize Stan acted in Blendin’s Game like he didn’t know what caused Soos to hate his birthday, but I feel like it’s plausible he wouldn’t have wanted to share something so personal with the others if Soos clearly didn’t want to talk about it (and also I wrote that scene before realizing this potential continuity issue and just really wanted to keep that dialogue).

Anyways, I could go on and on about how much these two stubborn old men mean to me, but to keep it brief, thinking and writing about them has helped me through a bunch of rough patches, so I felt like it was about time to write something for their birthday (which I’d hoped to do last year, but writer’s block was a bitch). I’m so proud of this whole dumb fictional family, and I had the biggest smile imaginable on my face while I was writing that scene of pure fluff at the end :’)

[almasexya]

Carnivorous Plants and the Things I Know About Them

I've been kicking around the idea of making a post like this and I figured it was of enough general interest to folks on Tumblr to go for it.

So

One of the things I do is grow carnivorous plants, like these

From top left to bottom right we have a Venus Flytrap, a North American Pitcher Plant, a Sundew, and a Butterwort. All of these are pictures I've taken of plants during the growing season.

Now if you look at these weird looking plants you probably wouldn't expect them to be native to North America, but they are. You can find pitcher plants all over the southeast up to the northeast into Canada, flytraps in the Carolinas, and butterworts and sundews all over the continent.

These plants are a lot of fun and easy to grow once you understand their requirements, but before we get into that, I want to take a moment and explain how they came to be in the first place.

To keep it short, carnivorous plants are carnivorous because they grow in soils that are lacking in the nutrients plants need to put out new growth. Because of this, they evolved to find their nutrients a different way - by luring, trapping, and digesting insects. While these plants still photosynthesize, they supplement this with the nutrients they absorb from insects.

Now that we've got that out of the way, I'm going to go into the basics of growing them, point by point. A short disclaimer - I'm specifically talking about temperate North American plants, since they're what I have experience growing. I can provide basic info on how to take care of tropical plants like the southeast asian pitcher plants, but as of this post I don't have experience with them yet.

Soil: For carnivorous plants, a good soil mixture is a must. These plants grow in nutrient-poor marshes, and the soil they call home is constantly wet. The main ingredient in basically any carnivorous plant soil mix is sphagnum peat moss, which is slightly acidic. The second part of the mixture is often perlite or horticultural sand. Some nurseries use a mix of equal parts peat and perlite while others use 80% peat and 20% perlite, but I've had success with both. The most important thing to ensure is that your soil doesn't have any fertilizer added to it. Because carnivores grow in low nutrient soil, any kind of medium that contains fertilizer can actually kill them.

Water: The other vitally important part of the equation (and the one that kills lots of plants when incorrectly applied) is water. Generally, unless your tap water is soft, water carnivores with distilled or reverse osmosis water. The minerals in tap water or even bottled drinking water can eventually build up and kill your plant in the same way fertilized soil does. Carnivores love waterlogged soil, and some even get flooded in nature. To approximate this, set your plant in a tray of water no more than an inch or two high. This ensures your soil stays wet without having to constantly water it.

Containers: Plastic pots are your friend. Avoid terra cotta clay pots, since they can leech minerals into the soil and also tend to dry out your substrate faster. Glazed clay containers can also work. If you're using the tray system, make sure to buy pots with drainage holes, so the water can get in. Also, a trick that lets the water in but keeps the soil from escaping is to line the bottom of the pot with long-fibered sphagnum moss. If you go with an undrained container, make sure to keep the soil wet at all times, but allow some of the water to evaporate in order to keep the water table fluctuating.

Sunlight: Since carnivores evolved their leaves to catch insects, they're pretty poor at photosynthesis. As a result, these plants love sun - the more the better. Many a store bought flytrap has perished as a houseplant due to lack of sun, so if you can, put these plants outside, in the sunniest spot you can. Generally, it's good to give most carnivores around 6 hours of sunlight per day. Many can get by with 4, but they don't often thrive with that amount of light.

Dormancy: Plants that grow in temperate or warm temperate climates tend to buckle down and hibernate during the late fall and winter months, conserving energy until spring. Generally speaking, the large traps die off, or in some cases the plant dies down to the roots, or forms a small bud that rests on the ground. Plants grown outside respond to colder temperatures and shorter photoperiods, while plants grown inside usually need some help. If you're growing your plants on a windowsill or in a terrarium, move them somewhere cold or cut down on their heating, and also diminish the amount of daily light they receive. You can also slow down on watering, though they still need some water to get by.

Temperature: Temperate and warm temperate carnivores can tolerate a wide range of temperatures, despite what you might think. My pots survived the freak snowstorm the Pacific Northwest got this February without a single dead plant. Most species can tolerate temperatures up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit and down to 20 degrees, though not for prolonged periods of time. If you see long spells of hot or cold weather coming, try and move your plants to a protected area until they pass.

Feeding and Fertilizing: Now I know what you're thinking. Fertilizer? He just told us that stuff was death! And it often is, but there are ways to fertilize your plants. Generally, a fertilizer made for acid-loving plants can be diluted and applied to the leaves during the growing season. I use Maxsea 16-16-16 on plants that are too young to easily catch prey (diluted down to a half teaspoon per gallon) and haven't had issues. Try not to spray the soil unless you frequently water your plants from overhead, as the dreaded mineral buildup can still occur. That said, if your plants are outside, they'll fertilize themselves. You can also "feed" your plants insects using tongs - keep in mind that some plants require their prey to be alive in order to secrete digestive enzymes. I'll get into prey in more detail in other posts about specific types of plants.

Flowering and Propagation: For a lot of carnivorous plants, flowering is an exhausting effort that tends to deplete the energy they would use creating traps. As a general rule, if you're not interested in seed, clip the flower stalks off. Many plants can be propagated through leaf or root cuttings, which produce genetically identical plants. Some plants also clump and form their own divisions over time, meaning all you need to do to get more is wait for a year or so, depending on the age of the plant.

Pests: Carnivores can be targeted by various pests. For insecticides, I've seen neem oil recommended, as its generally less harmful to the plant and the environment. I haven't had to make much use of these yet, so my information on insecticides is a bit of a blind spot. Generally, try and stay away from soap insecticides and aerosols, and stick to less concentrated varieties. If you're dealing with squirrels or rodents digging up your plants, I found a generous sprinkling of cayenne pepper around the plants works wonders, and does no harm to the plants.

This is a basic rundown of carnivorous plants and how to take care of some of them. I must stress there's a ton of information out there - this post is geared more towards starter plants that are fairly forgiving and simple to grow.

So why grow carnivorous plants when you can just go out and buy some petunias?

They're active: Carnivores are showy, unique plants that can move on their own through some incredibly unique and complex evolutions. Watching a Venus Flytrap snap shut or a Sundew curl around an insect is a truly special thing to see.

They're a conversation piece: The relative rarity of carnivores in cultivation means the average person doesn't know much about them, despite maybe having heard of a Venus Flytrap before. A 12" pot of flytraps, sundews, and pitchers is a surefire way to grab attention.

They can control certain pests: Carnivorous plants can act as natural pest controllers. North American Pitcher Plants gorge themselves on flies and wasps, and considering some pitchers can grow over two feet tall, they can hold plenty of them. Sundews and butterworts specialize in catching smaller prey, such as fungus gnats, fruit flies, and even fleas. These plants can work as limited, natural pest controllers, though they won't eradicate a yellow jacket nest for you.

They're endangered in the wild: The wet, marshy habitats carnivores call home are rapidly dwindling due to improper land management and development. Some are nearly extinct in their home ranges, kept going through dedicated nurseries and attempts to naturalize them in other locations. By caring for carnivorous plants, you're raising awareness of these unique, underappreciated organisms and aiding in their conservation by keeping them alive.

Phew, I realize this was a lot, but I hope it was a fun read! Let me know what you think about carnivorous plants, or if you have any questions about them. I'm going to try and go into more detail on specific plants later, but for now, I wanted to bang out the basics.

If you're looking for more information, Flytrapcare.com is a great forum, and the r/savagegarden subreddit is very helpful as well. For books on the subject, the Savage Garden by Peter D'Amato is the go to source. Nurseries I've used and can vouch for are Sarracenia Northwest (located in Oregon) and California Carnivores (located in California).

[goldenhour-goldenboy]

A - Z Fluff Alphabet (Benny Miller)

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Benny is in love with legs. Legs and thighs can cause his instant undoing and you defiantly have used this for your advantage in the past. Whenever there’s a slip of leg showing, and it truly doesn’t have to be much, it doesn’t take long for Ben to find a way to have his has on you. Wether it be a subtly touch of his knuckles brushing over it, his fingers tracing your skin ever so lightly or maybe even having him grab your thighs with his hands, fingers digging deep into your flesh is hinging only on the situation you’re currently in. But rest assured, if there’s a slip Ben can get his hands on, he absolutely can and will find a way to do so, no matter the audience. 

x also this x  

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/ Why not?)

Yes. Benny wants kids 100% percent. Not only is he very vocal about it, it’s also evident to everyone who’s ever watched him with or around kids for more than 10 minutes. Having a partner that’s not set on starting a family would be a serious complication for the relationship and I honestly don’t see Benny with a partner that doesn’t want kids as much as he does. He’s giddy about babies to a point where you sometimes have to dial him back a bit and explain to him calmly, that although you love him, 5 kids is not going to happen.

x x x    x tagging @miller-benny‘s work here because I simply love her response to it and I couldn’t have said it better.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Benny’s a ... stubborn cuddler. It doesn’t matter where you are currently sitting (or laying), if Ben wants to cuddle he’s determined to make it work - though this gets you into the weirdest positions at times. Wether he ends up laying flat on top of you, have you wrapped around him or simply have your legs intertwined as you face each other in bed, he treasures every opportunity he gets to get close to you. There’s no position that he requests in particular, though the more skin on skin contact he gets with you the better. He loves to snuggle his face in the crook of your neck, giving you good access to run your fingers through his hair and him close enough to place soft kisses on your neck whenever he feels like it.

x x x x x x x x

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Funny. And a bit chaotic, to be honest. Dates with Ben Miller happen on accident - or on very short notice. Both of you are usually too busy to plan something big and by the time both your schedules free up for the same day (it usually takes a sacrifice on a blue moon and at least the blessing of three priests to make that happen) neither of you feel like doing something big. The definition of ‘date’ therefore shifted over the years, turning a trip to the supermarket into a date by not going to your usual store but drive an hour across town to visit that one shop that just opened up with exquisite shipments from all over the world. It’s quick lunch dates you take while one of you has to walk your dog in your break time from work, sitting down for 30 minutes at the park and taking the time to rant about your coworkers. One time Benny picked you up from a birthday party you didn’t even want to go in the first place but felt inclined to attend nonetheless and instead of driving home you stranded at a bar, him convinced that you looked “too good to end the evening just yet.”

E = Everything (You are my ___ (e.g my life, my world…))

You are the one thing I keep coming back to. You are my constant in this chaotic life.

In general Benny is someone who’s always moving, running from one place to another, getting sent on another tour and home for a long time has been his duffle bag and the old hat on his head. Apart from his brother you’ve slowly become the other person in his life that he can count on. It’s a comforting thought to have someone waiting for him, someone who cares whether he had a good or a bad day, what happened to hime while he was gone. The definition of home, Benny realized, had changed ever since he met you.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were falling in love?)

It caught Benny more off guard than it should’ve, really. He’s not stranger to a casual fling but what started out without strings attached slowly crept up on him and dug claws into his heart before he knew it. The thing with you and Benny worked because neither of you were looking for something serious that time. It was the easiness that drew you back to each other, how the two of you seemed to just click. Ben’s thoughts usually drifted back to you in the evening, giving you a quick call or texts to let you know exactly how you crossed his mind that time and you were more than happy to hop over to his place. However, it was once he started to think about you more and more throughout his day that he had to step back and sit down. It wasn’t just about that itching down his pants that flashed an image of you through his mind. He found himself in the shampoo isle, wondering if he should start to buy a bottle for you, considering all the showers you were taking at his place recently. It was the subconscious way he started to leave out broccoli whenever he was cooking and you were over because he knew that you hate the taste of it. It was getting worried if you took longer than usual to text him back and the gnawing feeling of slow jealousy creeping up inside him whenever you had to decline an offer from him to come over. There wasn’t a specific moment Benny fell in love with you, it happened over time but the moment he realized was when you had to leave his apartment one afternoon and Ben caught himself thinking that he’d wish to know when he would be seeing you again and that he’d like for you to not leave at all. 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Considering the fact that Ben Miller earns a good amount of his income by knocking other people out with his bare hands and the fact that he’s a trained special operative, Ben has the gentlest heart. There’s a deeply rooted sense of protectiveness for his loved ones not only presenting itself in rage and aggression as one might think but as well in the way he picks up on other people’s emotions. In a sense Ben’s an empath that doesn’t really know it -  all he knows if someone’s hurting, his heart clenches as well and he’ll try his hardest to mend the broken pieces. He reacts to the people around him that he holds close to his heart, caring for you wether you’re his current partner or just a friend in desperate need of another friend. Ben’s often hushed words, soothing strokes and tight hugs, trying to figure out what he can do to make you feel better and repeating reassuring words until he is sure they get through to you, only stopping once he sees a smile on your face again. 

H = Hand/ Hold (How do they like to hold? How do they like to hold hands?)

Ben uses his hands to communicate. If you are in close distance of each other there’s an unspoken promise radiating off of him that his hands will be with your’s in a few seconds, just you wait. Sometimes he’s gently playing with them, fingers dancing over your knuckles and brushing against the back of your hand, sometimes he’s more rough, grabbing them much more dominant and pressing them to his lips. And though Ben can’t keep his hands off of you whenever you are in public, he doesn’t necessarily has to hold your hands at all times. In fact he prefers to have his arm around you and his hand resting on your hip much more. It’s something about the fact that he has to keep moving, constantly, even if it just means having his hands running up and down your jeans clad thigh or playing with a piece of your hair. Lacing your fingers together often only happens on accident, fingers already playing together and they slip out from between each other shortly after to move on to other body parts.

x x x x

I = Impression (First Impressions/s)

The first impression one gets of Ben are usually the following, in no particular order and more than often all of them at once: Flirt, fighter and sadly, fuckboy. You’re almost certain the first time you lay eyes on him that getting involved with Ben Miller is the worst idea you might’ve had in years. Ben radiate so much confident energy that can easily be confused with cockiness, you have a hard time at first seeing past his loud and proud self.

J = Joker (Are they into pranks?)

Yes. Beware Ben Miller, current champion in the long running series of pranks between either him and his significant other or him and his brother. Sometimes there you even form unlikely alliances between each other, you and Will’s S/O teaming up against the boys or you and Will deciding “enough is enough” and planning out the perfect retaliation for Ben, combining your shared knowledge about him for the ultimate knockdown. It’s not uncommon for pranks to go on for a longer period of time, sometimes slowly dwindling down and seemingly ending until one tries to get revenge one last time and the whole thing starts all over again. 

x x

K = Kisses (How do they kiss?)

There’s a million ways Ben’s able to kiss but all his kisses hold meaning to them and that’s the thing: Ben uses kisses to expresses emotions. One of his trademarks while kissing is to pull you closer, wether it be by a hand twisting your hair in the back of your neck or grabbing your hips. Ben seeks to feel your body almost every time of the day. And whenever he kisses you, he likes to kiss hard. He’s never harsh or hurting you but every time he presses his lips to yours, wether it be a short goodbye kiss or a longer, more intimate one, there’s always a certain meaning to it that he solemnly transports by his lips. And his lips are soft, plump in a way that you simply have to sink your teeth into them, sometimes teasingly, sometimes lovingly pulling on his lower lip, getting a small moan out of him.

x x x

L = Little Things (What little things do they love/ notice.)

Benny picks up on a lot of things in his day to day life and he used to learn how to blend out most of them because they tend to distract him but whenever he’s with you, he likes to open up all his senses. It’s not uncommon for you to do something mundane like brushing your teeth or folding laundry and feel a pair of eyes on you, only to look up and catch Benny glancing your way. By now he’s picked up almost all of your habits, sometimes even the one’s your not aware of yourself. It’s like a mental list of habits he keeps in his mind, adding to it whenever possible and though he doesn’t love all of them of course, he certainly knows about them.

M = Memory (Their favorite moment together.)

There’s one moment Ben’s sure to never forget: the day you agreed to be his wife. It’s sappy, he knows that. But the moment you turned around when he knelt on the ground in front of you, when he saw realization dawn on your face he swears his heart stopped. The second stretched out endlessly in front of him and by the time you finally managed to say “yes” (because of course, you said yes) he’s sure his lips have turned blue by him holding his breath for long. The rush of pure happiness through his body hearing you say this little word that holds so much meaning in that moment easily beats every high from a fight he’s ever experienced. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Though Benny likes everything nice and shiny, it’s usually not in his budget to go after everything he likes - or more importantly, everything you like. Ben would like to be the guy that just has to snap his fingers whenever he sees your eyes light up at something but for now, he has to settle for less materialistic ways of spoiling. Ben’s absolutely set on the idea to make the most of his current situation, buying you your favorite kind of snacks whenever he’s the one doing grocery shopping, getting you flowers every now and again or trying to take chores off your hand whenever you are stressed. Ben, really, spoils you with the little things, the way he pays attention to almost everything you do and using that to make your life a little lighter and a little more comfortable. 

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

It changes over the years. At first it was blue, simply because you were standing in front of a blue wall the first time he saw you, truly, saw you. You were with a group of friends and you spoke up for the first time, voicing your opinion on a topic and Benny couldn’t believe that someone so smart has kept to themselves for the entire evening until now.

It changed to red because of the bracelet he played with while you two were lying in bed together one lazy morning and Benny thought his chest might explode with the love he felt for you that moment. It was, inevitably, the first time he said “I love you” and though you didn’t say it back right away you still smiled at him, the image forever imprinted in his memory.

It’s settled on a light pinkish color now, the color of your favorite flowers. Ben remembers this color vividly because he pushes himself to do so, causing him to never miss a flower shop and buy you a bunch for you. There’s not a week that goes by without you having a fresh set of flowers in your home and though all your friends think it’s you trying to maintain a comfortable and stylish living atmosphere it’s actually Benny who’s the one responsible for that lovely little detail. 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Ben’s not a fan of overly romantic or sweet pet names. He’ll only use those if he wants to annoy you or tease you (which happens often enough) but most of the time he’ll call you simple stuff like ‘Babe’ or ‘Sweetheart’. You mostly do the same but you like to use his name most of the time, either calling out “Ben” or “Benny” when you want something from him. If he’s in trouble, he’ll know immediately, since you change it up to “Benjamin Miller” and that’s enough to send chills down his spine - and him running in the other direction. 

x x

Q = Questions (What are the questions they’re always asking?)

“Hey, did you eat my ____?” OR “Do we still have leftovers from ____?” OR “You hungry too?” basically anything food related because Benny’s metabolism is just that insanely high.

R = Remember (Their favorite memory of each other.)

There’s one memory that embedded itself in Ben’s brain. It was at the beginning of your relationship, a time of a lot of firsts, where everything you did was still new and exciting and he remembers the first time he had people over to celebrate a win from a match he had a couple of days ago. It was the first win he celebrated with you by his side and the moment of calmness he felt rushing over him, watching friends and family chat and laugh together with a beer in his hand and you in his arm, the sun just about to set is something he’ll carry in his heart forever. It was the naturalness of it all that draws him back to that moment, how easy it was for him to sit back and relax, how you just fitted so perfectly under his arm, body leaning slightly back and against him that had him convinced that wonder’s do exist  - and they might even exist for him as well.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/ each other up.)

It’s rare that Ben feels sad to a point where it stops him from functioning. He’s always been someone who’s in touch with his feelings, all of them, including the unpleasant once so him being upset is one thing. Of course there are the usual things that bring him down - a stressful week, loosing a fight he was sure he was going to win, getting into an argument with his brother (or worse, you) but Ben feels his feelings. He talks about them, he lets them flow inside of him until he’s vented enough or run far enough or even cried enough. But he doesn’t wallow in them. There are rarely times when you have to step up and take action but of course, it does happen. One specific moment was Tom’s death. Grief mixed with guilt created a trap for Ben he couldn’t get out of himself, the emotions seemingly drowning him and for once he wasn’t able to get on top of them on his own. It was a challenging time for both of you but it helped to talk the event through with him over and over again, the routine of reliving it easing the tight knot in his stomach. Ben’s not sure how it helped him, he just knows that telling himself over and over again that this was not his fault and he couldn’t have seen that coming gets implemented in his brain at one point, only because he forces himself to.

T = Talking (What do they love to talk about?)

Here’s a very unusual fact about Ben Miller: He loves to gossip. It’s not only him, it’s both Miller brothers to be honest and there’s nothing they both enjoy more than sitting down and discussing the news they’ve just heard about their mates from their time in service or who’s hooking up with whom from Ben’s gym. William has constructed a lot of carefully drawn together pieces of information that he likes to present at some point, almost ashamed at first but very eager to explain how he came to this or that conclusion in the end. It’s not even in a judgmental way, well, not always, but more that both of them genuinely enjoy to be best informed about everyone’s personal matters at all time. One would think that Pope would play a much bigger role in all of this but since his interest can only be activated by informations about missions and he seems to be oblivious about the people around him, he’s been banned from the weekly gossip sessions at your house. 

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Physical activities are Ben’s go to whenever he needs to clear his head. It’s usually a run first and if that fails, a quick session at the gym where his punching bag gets all the emotional damage he tries to get out of his system. Whenever Ben seeks your help in getting the thoughts in his head sorted out, it’s more than often by just having someone there to listen to him rant, rather than try to give him advise. So you let him rant, go on and on until there’s not a single thing left sitting on his chest because you know if you stop him before he’s done, it’ll only result in him getting upset again a few days later. 

*pro tip: It may sound dumb but whenever all the running and the ranting is done, what gets Ben back to being his normal relaxed self is your pretty lips wrapped around him for a couple of minutes. But only after he’s done ranting.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Ben absolutely loves to show you off. Whenever he thinks you look good or did something amazing, he almost feels like it’s his duty to share this with the world. Very loud. More than often you get embarrassed by him bringing up the topic of your latest performance at work when you’re out with the guys, simply because he thinks you just did such an amazing job. He, truly, is your number one fan and you can’t help but crack a smile (as do the rest of the boys) whenever he tries to explain as to what you did exactly (and missing half of it), eyes glowing with pride because his girl did that! And though the other boys like to tease him about the fact that, even if you’re not present, he won’t stop talking about you (”Still, after all those years!”) they think it’s a little bit cute. 

It also happens in a more subtle way, his eyes following you as you enter the room, pressing a kiss to your lips as you meet up with him in a crowded place and maybe taking a bit longer than normally, just so everyone around him can see: Yes, you’re his. 

W = Why (Reasons why they love each other.)

You love Benny for the fact that he loves unconditionally. Once he sets his heart on you, there really isn’t much that can change his mind and he’ll be by your side, whatever it takes, until the end of the line. It’s his stubbornness mixed with his stupidly big heart that has him proving to you, over and over again, that he is here to stay. That’s another thing you love about him: How he cares for other people with that big heart of his, sometimes even to a point where he puts their priorities in front of his own. It doesn’t happen often and he’s particular who gets that kind of grand gesture but whenever he’s chosen you to be part of his closer circle, you can be damn sure that Ben Miller will do everything humanly possible to help you. And lastly, you love how open he is about his emotions and how he’s not afraid to show them. Whenever he feels something he lets those feelings flow freely and you admire the strength behind that.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus - It played on the radio the first time he drove you home to your place and you ended up belting out the lyrics.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

He does! For Ben it ties in with the image of having kids, it’s how he always pictured himself in life later on. Especially seeing his own parents so happy truly set it in stone for him, that he wanted something like that later on in life. Meeting you set a whole whirl of emotions into play and though Ben’s usually someone that acts on impulse, he took his time with this decision. This means something to him and he wants to do it right.

x

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?)

Ben’s has an undying love for dogs. It’s simply boils down to the fact that he gets to do something with them, that he prefers them over any other animal. And though the decision what kind of dog he should get doesn’t come easy once he’s at a shelter (”I think my heart just stopped ... Look at them!”), he knows what he’s looking for. He knows exactly what he’s looking for. It’s almost like he’s describing his perfect partner to the woman who greets him at the front desk, going into great deal what he has in mind and you take a step back to let your man ramble on and on for minutes. He wants an active one (”He needs to go on runs with me. Or she. They need to be able to keep up with me.”) and one that’s smart (”I wanna teach them how to do that thing - Babe, you remember that thing that one dog did I showed you the other day? With the mailman and the newspaper?”) and one that’s good with kids (”Can’t kick the kids out because they don’t like them.” - “Ben!” - “Just kidding, Babe. Ow, I was kidding!”). 

x 

A/N: So I absoultely love how this turned out but I had a hard time at first bc I realized I answered most of the questions already in my “come talk to me about benny” tag/blurbs and I tried to still come up with little fun and new ideas. I linked them just in case anyone wants to read more and holy smokes, there were so many hahahah 

[ficstogo]

Christmas With You

Pairing: John x Reader

Summary: You spend your first christmas with John.

Word Count: 2875

Warnings: None

A/N: What was suppose to be a fic at first I turned this headcannon to what you see here now. Sorry for the mix up! I need to learn how to read things over.

Exams were Exams. You were on your last one for the day and you were happy it was the easiest one you’ve taken before your holiday break officially began. You didn’t care much for the holidays all too much, the older you got the less magic it had. You didn’t hate it but you didn’t care for it either. You were mainly looking forward to spring and the warm weather to come back. That and the end of the semester. Happy that you were on the last question, you smiled at your freedom. Walking out the door, you see John waiting with his books in his hand and all snuggled up in a winter coat. It made him look cute, like a small child.

“Hi.” You said as you give him a peck on his lips.

“Hi.” Walking out, holding your hand with a smile, he asks, “How’d you think you did?”

“Pretty sure I passed. It wasn’t too hard of an exam.” You said with a smile to return.

“Well how about we get some coffee to celebrate.” He responded back as you gave a nod. Even if there was nothing to celebrate, it was a ritual to go to the coffee shop whenever the both of you got done with classes. It was your guys thing even before you two started dating about a month ago.

As relaxed as two people can be, you and John spent the time conversing with each other about whatever came to the top of your heads, no matter how ridiculous. The conversation then turned to the reason why everyone was out for classes. Christmas.

“So what are you up to for Krimble?” John asks as he takes a cautious sip of his refill.

“Uh, nothing really. Sleep in and all. My parents are actually away on holiday now that I’m in school so, no plans really.” You explained to him. Although you would like to spend the holidays with them, you were actually happy that they finally had some time to spend together alone.

John looked at you with a bit of concern. He didn’t like the idea that you would spend the holidays on your own but he was going to be visiting his parents also. “Oh, well I’m going to be with my parents to help them set up a small christmas party but I’d really like it if you’d come along to it, if you want.”

You only smiled at his kindness as you went to hold his hand. “I’m sure it’d be a fun time if I went.” You didn’t think too much of it. You already met his parents beforehand but as a friend. This would be the first time you would see them as his girlfriend but it didn’t worry you that much. They did like you, which you appreciated and they were always so kind to you, a second family you could say.

During the days leading up to the party, You spent your time doing the usual errands and going to work while John did the same coming in and out of your apartment to spend time or have dinner with you. There was that day you hadn’t seen John. He rang you up a little late since he went to help his parents. He sounded so tired but he wanted to talk to you before he went to bed for you him to go out tomorrow.

“I really wish I brought you along today, really. There was a street fair happening and there were so many knick knacks and paintings and just so many things I wish you’d seen…” He sighed out in content. You could only imagine his sweet smile as he was telling you about his day. You could honestly fall asleep to the sound of his voice, always so soft in your ears. Gentle as though he’s never shouted a day in his life.

As he went on about his day while you listened to his sweet voice, he brought up the plan for tomorrow. “So I was thinking maybe we’d stop and have lunch and then go round my parents house to help them set up. Julia should be there a little later.”

“And what do you suppose we should have for lunch then, love?” You smirked as you asked.

“Of course the usual! A great big lobster with some oysters! Maybe even snails! Fancy enough for you, dove?”

“Oh very!” You laughed. His sarcasm and sense of humor is what made you swoon over him, even when you first met him. After the laughter has subsided, you then ask “What time should I expect you dear?”

“Sometime around noon. We’re not expected at a specific time, so we’ll just goof around beforehand.”

After things were settled and planned, morning seemed to come by in a flash. You were up and ready to take on the day. The day of christmas eve seemed so busy as you and John walked around town noticing all the last minute shoppers. The two of you only enjoyed your time together before heading over to the Deacon household, where there was a whirlwind of activity going on in there, and being the good samaritans that you are, helped with these chores.

Soon evening came around, you helped Julia and her mom with making dinner while tidying everything up. John went out with his father to finish up some errands and making sure the guests found their way to their residence.

The night was filled with laughter, stories, family, friends, and of course, some alcohol. Although it was a fun time for you all, you only found yourself speaking to either Julia or their parents as all the other guests were unfamiliar faces. John on the other hand, had to be the good son and speak with all the guests, such as his uncles and cousins as well as some work friends and neighbors. It was a bit hectic to say the least but fun over all. At times you find yourself talking to John in the kitchen before he gets dragged out to see another aunt from a far away land, but as the night dwindled down, you found yourselves to each other once more as you huddled up against his side while his arm was slung around your shoulder, his fingers playing at the tips of your hair.

You realized the time and how the both of you were beginning to be in the state of fatigue. Everyone else seemed to still have some energy as they kept at talking to each other, eating, and drinking. Lifting John up by his arm, he was ready to fall asleep. “It’s about that time we get home now, don’t you think so love?” He only nodded his head as his eyes were trying to keep open. You went to go find John’s family to let them know you both were heading out, giving them your thanks and goodbyes, you both found yourselves out in the cold. Walking a couple blocks with the both of you looking as if you were connected to the hip, you headed to the direction where most of the taxis would drive by.

The feeling of his hand holding on to yours while his head rested on top of yours as a temporary pillow only made you smile. Your poor boy was tipsy and tired and he only wanted to sleep. It was your mission now to get you both home and tuck him in for a good night’s rest.

You were happy that there was at least one taxi out this late at night for this time of the month because you didn’t know how long you were able to hold to John. You only relished on to the feeling of John snuggled up so close to you with his head still on top of yours as you rode all the way to his apartment. These little moments were what you really liked to think about and to live in.

Once you both arrived to John’s apartment, you fished for his keys in his pockets as he chuckles, saying, “Getting a little handsy there bean?”

“Come off it John, you know that’s for tomorrow morning.” You replied with a wink, unlocking his apartment door. He mainly spent time at your place as it was a little more spacious than his, at least by a few units. He also felt more at home there with you then he ever felt here by himself. And he’s lived in his apartment for a good amount of time. The thought crossed his mind to express that feeling but he thought that that should be saved for the morning as well.

The last time you were at John’s apartment was right before he asked you out. Both studying in his small living area as he left all the necessities to do so at home. A fond memory it is as it was out of the blue yet it was bound to come up at some point. Everything was the same since then. Neat, orderly, clean yet bare. There was nothing there to really indicate that there was actually someone living here. What made you chuckle though was the small plastic christmas tree that was on the coffee table with lights twinkling around it. It was cute in the sense that that was definitely a John thing to do. It was small gesture yet it showed how he was very much into the christmas spirit.

You two once again dropped yourselves on his couch, a comfortable silence taking over as your heads leaned against each other. You only had a smile on your face as you made sure to save this to memory bank. Taking a peek at John, you see that his eyes are closed. You leaned in to kiss his cheek and asked, “Got any hot chocolate?”

“Yes. In the cabinet left of the sink.”

“Would you like a cuppa?”

“Yes please, love.” He says in a small polite demeanor, as if he were a child.

Getting up, you took a second to look at John again, brushing his hair to the side of his forehead while he smiled at the touch. In the cabinets were packets of hot chocolate as you had the kettle going on the stove. With your back against the counter and arms crossed, you looked at the sight before you. All small and dimlitted, quiet and peaceful. For some reason you wanted to save this particular memory in your storage system as well. Nothing was going on but you could only assume that you wanted to save the atmosphere, the way everything felt in this exact moment.

Heading to John, you nudge him a bit as he was close to being knocked out and passed him his hot chocolate. Sitting up straight, he takes the mug from you and asks, “I hope you had a good time. I prayed that nothing embarrassing happened while you were there. Julie told me nothing did but, you know…” He chuckled.

You smiled at him taking your spot next to him. It was cute how he still worried about his family embarrassing him even though many of those occurrences have already happened. Baby pictures, 11 year old girlfriends from grade school, and so on. What else could possibly embarrass him that you hadn’t already witnessed? “No, I had a good time. I just didn’t know most of the guests there.”

“Neither did I and the funny thing is that the majority of them are family.” he chuckled taking a sip from his mug. You two talked about the events of today until you finished your mugs of hot chocolate. Looking up at the clock that faced you both, you knew you two were going to sleep in later than usual as it was nearing 1:30 in the morning.

The night ends with his arms wrapped around you and your head against his chest. His breathing soothes you into a deeper sleep while his head rests on top of yours once again, loving the feeling of someone holding onto him throughout the night.

Before you know it, morning takes over and you find yourself staring at one of the walls at your side of the bed. You blink a few times as you try to recollect the events from last night as well as what today is. You were excited about today as you quietly got off the bed and headed into the living you room where you left your bag to retrieve John’s present. Before you could even take it out, you hear John calling out your name in his raspy and groggy voice. “I’ll be right in!” you say in a tired yet happy tone.

Slipping back in the room, you see John with his back facing you while he stretched out his limbs. Taking a seat next to him, he raises an eyebrow at the package you have in your hands. You have a wide smile as you landed the package right on his lap, only for him to look down, realizing what the box is. “Seems that father Christmas has left me a gift!”

You scoff at his comment and say, “Ppff, father Christmas, it’s me you should be thanking!”

“Oh, I’m sorry love! Of course!” He says as he leans in to kiss your cheek. He then looks back down at your gift and starts to unravel what’s inside. His eyes go wide as he sees the gift that you got him. He’s in shock to see that you got him a brand new camera, obviously a replacement for his broken one. “Jesus! Y/N, this must of cost you all your savings! You didn’t have to get me this!”

“Deaky! Of course I had to get it! This was the one thing I was really looking forward to and I wanted to get the best for you. You deserve it.” John could feel his heart constraint a bit. He sees how the devotion and care in your eyes and it only made him question how lucky he is to find someone like you. You were too sweet to him and terribly caring. He knew from there how thoughtful you were and attentive you are to his needs. He only wished that he could be up to par with you as you deserved much more than him.

John leans in to give you a peck on your lips as he looks back down to his camera with heated cheeks. “Thank you love. I think it’s perfect, especially for what’s coming next.” He then gets up to his dresser that’s nearby and pulls out a dark blue velvet box and starts handing it to you but when you reach for it, he pulls away. You look up to him in confusion when he explains, “Now I don’t want to hear any “you shouldn’t have”s because if we’re being honest, your gift might’ve costed a lot more than mines.” He then hands you back the box as you look at him in wonderment. Inside contained a beautifully crafted wired necklace where it wraps around a crystal of your favorite color. You’re taken back at the fact that he had gotten you such a wonderful gift.

He takes back his seat as he looks down at the necklace in your hand. “Remember how I went to my parents to help them with some errands while there was also a street fair going on? Well I might’ve asked this nice lady to make a gift for my special girl and, well, I think she did a right job, don’t you?” You turn to look at him, feeling some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his neck while burying your head into his neck. You were so happy in that moment, knowing that out of all the men that you have dated or would have possibly dated, he was the one that made you the absolute happiest. If anything, he was far better than any gift you had ever received and you never wanted to lose him. His face heats up once more as he feels you kiss his neck and ask him to put it on you. You blink away the small amount of tears that were piling up in your eyes and hand John the necklace. Sweeping your hair to the side to clasp your necklace, he kisses your shoulder while rubbing them as well and then lays his chin on top.

“Merry christmas dear.I hope there are many more to come…”

You turn to wrap your arms around him again saying “I’ll bet money on that. I can’t possibly imagine that this is the last christmas I’ll spend with you.” John gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen as he plants a passionate kiss to your lips. His heart swelled at hearing you say that. He loves where his relationship with you is and where it’s going and the fact that you felt this wouldn’t be the last of you two not only eased his mind, but made him think of future with you.

[dragaoel]

 Jun'ichirō, aka Jun (- Silverdell)

the volume of the radio slowly dwindles down and only static noise is left to be heard

"those are dangerous words"

"not for him " Anja replies, her head laying on her outstretched arm that's on the table , her whole posture the embodiment of laziness. "loved ones always have it easier here"

"Not always" Jun says grimly and glances out of the window" it's because he's an outsider that he's allowed more freedom than any of us"

"aren't you a loved one too?"

Jun sighs deeply and turns towards the albino girl. For a second ,pain , frustration and a hint of panic can be seen in his eyes before it vanishes. He lets out a bitter laugh.

"and you saw where that lead me to,half dead in a ditch"

INTRODUCTION JUN : 

half japanese half black

has waist long black thick hair and brown skin 

has a ‘’prince in anguish’’ aura but masks it with him being over the top ridiculous and dramatic

is 5′11

born 12th october (libra)

‘‘the risk i took was calculated, but man, am i bad at math’‘

Jun is my favourite character, i made him on a whim as a side character in a old story and then i started using him more and more as a background character until i realized the potential he had. He's also one of the character whom i put into a lot of  different aus, the most favourite one was where he was a vampire who loved laying in the garden and eat roses all day

Rukiya (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘i have dreams about them’‘ Rukiya says and plucks a string on her bass. The deep note rumbles through the room and her short curls moves along as she drops her head lower 

‘‘i'm high in the sky, looking down onto a land that seems oh so familiar, with people screaming at me asking me to help them’‘

‘’do you understand them? ‘’ a band member asks

‘‘weirdly i do’‘ Rukiya answers ‘‘ it seems to be in my native language but also not, as if it was way before everything happened, you know, the ancient time’‘ 

INTRODUCTION RUKIYA :

Out of the both of them Rukiya is the older twin by 4 minutes

she’s also the artsy one than her sister whos into sports

wears black literally 24/7 and has dark circles despite sleeping enough

is 5′9

is black (kenyan) 

mole on the left side of her cheek

fluent in her native tongue kiswahili 

Majors in Film

loves anything that has to do with space nd aliens

born 24th january (aquarius)

has a sweet tooth

*cocks gun* ‘’basements haunted’’

i like the idea of twins that are completely the opposite of each other. Rukiya just like Imara have a big chunk of my personality in them, it's just that i lean more towards Rukiya than Imara. 

Akiho (-Though the god’s have left)

Kneeling down, she cocks her head to the side, her eyes cold and her lips pressed into a thin line ‘’ dont think your actions won't have consequences’’ she sneers ‘’ the next time i see you harassing another girl again i'll make you wish you were never born’’ 

Akiho dusts herself , picks up the bat , glances one last time at the boy laying on the floor and walks away, the echoes of her shoes the only noise to be heard

INTRODUCTION AKIHO :

is 5′4

majors in theater

her fashion style is y2k

is the other one of the dumbass duo

has freckles on her nose

is japanese

doesn't like sweet things usually eats traditional sweets made by her mom or things that are sour/bitter, but salty food has to be spicy asf

born, 14th april (aries)

her side teeth are really pointy

has long peach colored straight hair

‘‘I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip’‘

Akiho comes from a family of 3, she's the youngest sibling and she has that energy. She likes to play with her oldest brother children, doesn't want any on her own though. will fight anyone who is disrespectful, esp towards women 

Hyunjin (-Though the god’s have left)

The tall girl slumps her body onto her girlfriend shoulder, watching her fry the fish in the pan into charcoal. Hyunjin wrinkles her nose in a attempt to push the glasses up without having to actually touch them, before she sighs deeply. 

‘‘Just-’‘ she starts and softly takes ‘‘let me do it, otherwise you'll burn the kitchen down like last time’‘

Praveena puffs her cheeks up ‘’that actually wasn't my fault, it was the gasherd-’’

‘‘i know i know’‘ Hyunjin chuckles and kisses her cheek ‘‘but i have a exam tomorrow and i would like not not have an indigestion’‘ she frowns and flips the fish over and sighs. It seems the fish can’t be saved anymore. 

INTRODUCTION HYUNJIN :

korean

has short dyed blue hair, but the back part is longer than the front part.

is ‘5′10

majors in engineering technology

born 14th may (taurus)

has literally no sense of style and wears glasses cause she has a slight astigmatism that you can't really see

has a mole next to her right eye

‘‘a financially unstable mess but at the liquor store they call me ma’am’‘

honestly out of all the characters i draw hyunjin the most. In the beginning  she  had shoulder length but then i shortened it because i liked it more. She's an only child and her mother runs a bakery while her father works in a office. She's the calm type that's constantly tired because she never sleeps 

Praveena  (-Though the god’s have left)

She shuffles the cards and lays them out on the table. The customers sees the fool, the moon and the star. Praveena touches them with her fingertips ‘’ you seem to be either at the beginning or at the end of a new journey ’’ she pauses and thinks ‘’but either way you're prepared for what is to come’’

The customers nods ‘’i'm soon moving away from this city’’

‘‘I see’‘ Praveena counters and points at the next card ‘‘the moon indicates that you’re hesitant  and fearful in your decision, there might be something from the past that is holding you back and influencing you in the present and possibly the future

the customer tenses up, her eyes fixed on the card and her lips tight

‘‘though’‘ Praveena continues ‘‘at the end you’ll be at peace and glad that you pushed through all the turbulences 

INTRODUCTION PRAVEENA : 

tamil ,dark skin with long wavy violet dyed hair

Hyunjin’s girlfriend

has calm energy but is also very erratic 

loves astrology & tarot

majors in psychology

5′5

born 20 july (cancer)

has droopy eyes

‘‘god cant help you now’‘

i made praveena cause i wanted a harmonious wlw couple, that have that ‘’old married pair’’ plus out of all the ocs those two are the ones that i drew first. Praveena has the tendency to blow things up how though is a mystery and hyunjin always has to clean up everything. 

Imara (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘no listen, it doesn't make sense why would you wear a bra and some tight ass pants knowing you’re about to fight people who have knives and GUNS?’’ Imara asks perturbed.

‘‘Cause men are horny’‘ Rukiya retorts and raises an eyebrow

‘‘still doesn't make sense like wow!, some fucking boobs, like really? really? is that what gets you going? just some breast pressed up in a bra that is too damn tight and a flat stomach on a skinny ass girl that has absolute no muscles despite the training she went through?

Rukiya sighs ‘’ is this about-’’

‘‘lara croft yes’‘ Imara interrupts and slams her finger on the table ‘‘and im going to die on this hill that men shouldn't be allowed to create games!’‘

INTRODUCTION  IMARA:

plays games a lot, esp the loz series

has curly dyed blonde hair that's mostly tied in a ponytail  or a bun because she cant be bothered with it, though rukiya helps her all the time cause she never really learned how to deal with curly hair. 

Is on a baseball sponsorship because she's that good (she's a pitcher)

is totally tone deaf unlike her twin

isnt good with crows ie: strangers crowding around her after her team won a game

is kenyan

5′9

has a mole next to her upper lips on the left side

loves 90's rnb & hip hop music

‘‘he proclaimed his undying love and asked me to do the same, i had to overcome my desire to laugh’‘

Imara does have a slight complex about being a twin because she feels like Rukiya is the cooler one despite people loving her too. She's loud and boisterous basically a chad, but better. She's dorky and literally spends her free time gaming but she doesn't just play any game shes v specific when it comes to that. Her mom always has a headache because of her but thats okay but in the end her mom loves her to death.

Ava (-Though the god’s have left)

‘’do you you know how much it's sucks that at the end of all of this , i'm the one waiting for them?’’ Ava exclaims ‘’that i'm the one who will have to watch them go through the door to be evaluated? that i'm ultimately the end?

‘‘you’re not all alone-’‘

‘‘you don't understand’’ Ava interrupts, as she points at the short girl ‘’ i will have to watch my mom, my family that raised me go through that door and know that that will be the last time i will see them in that body!’’

INTRODUCTION  AVA:

She’s haitian 

keeps her hair in a short chin length dark blue bob

majors in sociology 

she and akiho are the ‘’comedy duo’’ of the group

is 5′6

born 4th november (scorpio)

‘‘my only crime was that i was down to clown’‘ 

When i make akiho i felt like she needed a companion so i made ava, both of them were inspired by the early 2000 shows characters. Although Ava likes to goof around she's also very studious and serious about her future. She comes from a family of 6 and she’s the second oldest. She and her older sister fight constantly 

Nïrnaya (Dawn over the horizon)

‘‘Magic’‘ the elf stars, her tall stature hunched over the herbs ‘’ is in the nature we’re surrounded in, in the mountains that stand high and the rivers that flow into the deep sea’’

she straightens up and walks over to Nïrnaya ‘’ we might lose everything.’’ She pokes the girl on the forehead ‘’but magic will forever stay with you because its the core of your being‘’ 

INTRODUCTION NÏRNAYA :

shes a mischievous 15 year old 

 has black curly long hair that are mostly braided

does not want to do this whole adventure thing because of how it reminds her too much of the ‘’chosen one trope’’ and thats too much responsibilities

born during the year of the earth dragon

‘‘snacking between meals is the least, but tastiest, of my problems’‘ 

i came up with this story and character because i wanted a book where a black girl for once was the main character, where she could experience the same thing as other mc (ie eragon etc) basically i wanted black representation in a medieval-esque world but with my own spin because the world itself is not very western like

[magicalgirlsofshoujo]

Hello Everyone

Hello everyone, after a very long time, this is Fuyu again.

To begin with, some apologies. I am sorry for disappearing without any notice. It was especially unfair to the people I was bringing on to help with the blog. I am sorry for thinking no one would really notice and letting my own self doubt and shame take the wheel.

I am also sorry that I somehow simultaneously missed a Cardcaptor Sakura revival and yet no real new magical girls of shoujo wtf.

Back on a serious note, I have some explanations. In my classic, "definitely could have said this in about half the words and with no proofreading whatsoever."

Oh gosh, this really does make me feel nostalgic.

I don't believe people have to share their personal lives if it harms them. So, don't let anything I say guilt you or your specific circumstance. Escapism is a wonderful part about fandom and the internet. Because the world is doodoo and we're all knee deep in it lately.

However, the fact that I had to run away and hide has as much to do with the nature of feel good escapism and fandom as it does with my own personal issues. What does a person do when the things they enjoy no longer make them happy?

For me the answer was to keep trying for a long time, because I felt robbed of what I love. Also, to some extent I felt I was prioritising trying to regain that feeling over confronting what was going on inside me. I did try a little bit to just take a step back. I reached out for more people to help with the blog when I started feeling the weight on me. But then getting helpers on board ended up becoming an effort in itself and my dwindling social energy just went into negative numbers.

That's why I just stood up and walked away. I had altogether too much to deal with in my brain and saying a proper goodbye somehow felt like another monumental effort.

That's also why feel an explanation of what I went through can be beneficial, because that is far from unknown in an anime fandom where otaku culture and its issues of toxicity are well known.

I do like to think I had a more wholesome attitude about it though. Teehee~

And since I was convinced no one would really care (brains are dumb) and was proven wrong upon my return even after all this time, I feel like an explanation for anyone who wanted one was warranted. Even if it's in classic Fuyu word vomit style.

I know I have always felt better when I've read stories similar to my own struggles. The feeling of, "I'm not alone!" is one that can't be underestimated. In addition, even in small areas like my little corner here, I think normalizing mental illness is a worthy cause. Everyone knows someone suffering whether they know it or not and such.

So, the short explanation is it turns out I've been living with undiagnosed ADHD. This was becoming a problem right around the time of my disappearance. For whatever reason the mechanisms I set up to deal with what I thought was laziness (primarily mainlining caffeine and forcing myself into deadlines to motivate myself) no longer worked and I would stare at computer screens where words would once come easily. This was a problem for the area of study that I loved and enjoyed so much. In my case it was also a big problem for the fandom I loved and enjoyed.

My words are all over this blog and I haven't written anything since I left.

Currently I am still exactly one course away from my undergrad degree, same as when this all started. This is at least partially because I was only diagnosed very recently.

Because I couldn't do these things I panicked and then would become extremely depressed. This was the incredibly visible problem and so when I got help I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. All are definitely true, but now we believe we diagnosed the surface symptoms and missed the underlying cause of adhd.

Instead of my anxiety, panic, and depression cycle coming from nowhere it was usually triggered directly by my lack of focus and motivation. So, years of focusing efforts on my, admittedly unbearable, moods ultimately always came up short because as soon as I felt well enough to try again, I would eventually hit the same wall in my brain and panic all over again.

The main reason I wanted to share this story is because of this difficulty in diagnosing. I don't want to get into the politics and economics of healthcare in the US that affected my care (suffice to say there were large gaps in treatment) because there's an element here that's a little more in my wheelhouse: gender.

I think the idea of gender bias in the medical community is fairly well-known, but essentially women's accounts of their symptoms are discounted by their own doctors.

This can be an issue with women and girls who suffer from ADHD because we do not match the visible checklist. Specificallyn regarding the "hyperactivity" part of ADHD. One explanation behind this, once I subscribe to, is that it's because girls are socialized differently and have different expectations.

Once upon a time, I fit the understood criteria. I would fidget all over my desk and talk to all my classmates instead of doing my work. Generally being a minor nuisance. The fidgeting issue was focused on the fact that I liked to wear skirts and that was unladylike. Going back through old report cards sees me labelled "chatty." I eventually learned to be quiet through social shame.

Honestly the gender bias regarding ADHD can be harmful for boys as well. My brother was tested at a similar age because he was disruptive and had a short temper. Nothing. They didn't acknowledge that boys being boys in the classroom might have been bullying.

I think these problems of both over-diagnosing and under-diagnosing have lowered since the nineties, but I know it hasn't gone away. There are many areas where it might have even gotten worse, especially with opioid epidemics making people suspicious of anyone who might use a medication that can be abused.

Naturally it should be said all of this is just my perspective on an ongoing journey, but I feel it's still a little worth putting out there. It's good to share our stories, because I didn't even realize I might have ADHD until someone else's little anecdote that "coffee calms me down because it makes my brain quieter." And there I was being miserable without caffeine because it's bad for anxiety.

They had even taken away my tea! DX

I feel like ADHD and similar stuff is even less uncommon in our circles too. Fandoms welcome those who feel left out by society and it's the perfect fit for those of us with intense devotion.

I'm still working my way through all this. I've been optimistic before and then fallen back into even worse holes than the one I was in when I left. But every climb out is an experience that makes the next one easier. It's an unfair to have to do at all, but it's worth doing rather than doing nothing.

As for what I'm actually going to do as FuyuMaiden and with this blog now, I don't know. This is the most I've written in a very long time and while it wasn't too difficult it was also very introspective. Stuff I have a lot of practice in dealing with my own mental health.

I'm definitely not going to force myself into anything. Especially since I haven't been keeping up with much. Like I look at cast lists for anime and I'm like "I don't recognize any of these seiyuu anymore!!! Am I old!?" Tentatively reblogging should be back up soon? Hopefully?

I think I'm going to make a discord for Magical Girls of Shoujo. Evey social media platform and phenomena is fragile, so it's good for us to have a backup. Plus I have faith in the stalwart eternity of gaming's need to talk shit. Discord will be around a while.

But I've been out of the loop so if there's any new places where fandom roams that I can also expand my ideals of magical cute stuff let me know.

And again, I am sorry for worry I caused. I love all of you and missed you very much.