#thought about giving this a background for a long time but nothing worked. deserves to be posted alone tho :3

[mogwaei]

Ouroboros, Agent of Fen’Harel. A nobody witch and failed knight. And a wee bit Void-touched. [fic]

[vampqueen777]

Summary: After a stressful week, you and Chan decide on a relaxing movie night, which turns into something more.

Chan x virgin!Reader

TW: afab reader, oral and fingering (f receiving), implied creampie, loss of virginity, slight choking, rough sex, reader is shy

It’s been a long week. Work has been running you ragged. From deadlines to meetings to presentations, you’ve barely been able to take the time to care for yourself. Something that your boyfriend, Chan, wasn’t too fond of.

Luckily, you were off the rest of the weekend, and Chan decided it was a perfect time to pamper and spoil you. Tonight, the plan is simple, order in and watch a movie. You both decided to re-watch the Deadpool movies since the new one will be out soon.

Since you cuddled up with Chan for your movie date night, he has been running his hand back and forth on the skin of your lower back, below your shirt. It makes it so hard to focus on the movie, and you find yourself fidgeting to get some friction where you needed it most.

You were a virgin and nervous as all hell. You’ve been in this position with Chan before, but you haven’t gone any further. You want to, but your nerves keep getting the best of you. What if you mess up? What if you don’t make him cum? How do you even bring it up?

Your brain is all over the place. The movie has pretty much become background noise for your thoughts.

By now, the food has been devoured, and the two of you are halfway through the second Deadpool movie. Chan can tell you aren’t fully paying attention to the movie, most likely still thinking about work. Little did he know that work was the last thing on your mind at the moment.

Chan really just wanted you to have a relaxing weekend after the week you’ve had. Luckily, he knows a few more ways to get you to relax.

He began letting his hands wander a bit more. Kneading and massaging your thigh, trying to get you to relax, but when he feels you tense even more, he begins to think he's made you uncomfortable.

“Baby? Are you okay? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

You can’t find it in you to answer, so you give a quick shake of your head. This causes Chan to raise his eyebrow, looking at you questioningly. He reaches for the remote and pauses the movie, sitting up to look at you properly.

“What’s going on? And don’t say nothing.” Chan pushes.

At that point, your cheeks are burning with embarrassment at getting caught in your dirty thoughts. You find yourself burying your face in his chest in an attempt to hide. This only worries Chan more. You're aren’t the type to hide things from him, so when you hesitate to tell him what was wrong, his mind thought of the worst-case scenario.

“Baby? You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something? If so I’m sorry, and I can fix it. I just need-” Chan rabbled. Hearing the worry and panic in his voice has you snapping your eyes to meet his, and you’re quick to reassure him.

"No! No, baby. It’s not you. I promise. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you have nothing to apologize for.” You say, quickly. Chan lets out the breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. Just relieved that he hadn’t upset you.

“Whew, good. But is there still something on your mind, right?” Chan asks.

Damn. You’ve been caught. Quickly, you try to think of a way out of this without embarrassing yourself. Chan, being as observant as always, notices this.

“Babygirl, you know you can tell me anything. If something is going on, I deserve to know so we can work through it.” Chan says softly. You know he’s right, but you still have no idea how to bring up the topic of sex. In that moment, your brain decided that the best way to tell Chan what had been plaguing your mind was to just blurt it out.

“I think I'm ready to have sex with you.” The words coming out so fast that you weren’t sure Chan even heard you. But he did. And he froze. Did he hear you right? Were you sure? What if he hurt you? His mind was racing just like yours moments ago.

You take Chan’s silence as apprehension and try to mend the awkward moment. “I-I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry if I made-” Your words have Chan snapping out of his daze, and he is quick to stop your rambling.

“No, baby girl. Don’t apologize. I was just shocked, that's all. I mean, are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured or like we have to rush into anything. I'm okay with waiting.” Chan reassures you.

“I’m sure. I’ve been thinking of it for a while now, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.” You inform him. Chan stares at you, trying to find any hint of apprehension, but he finds none. After a brief moment, Chan leans in to kiss you. You welcome it, opening your mouth to allow Chan’s tongue to snake in.

Before long, the kiss turns passionate, and clothes are strewn across the apartment as you both make your way into the bedroom.

Chan has you pinned to the bed, peppering kisses down your body before settling between your legs.

“Can I taste you, baby?” Chan asks, looking up at you. You shyly nod your head. Your nerves are high. You worried you don’t taste good or you’ll mess up.

Chan could read your worries easily. Taking your hands in his and interlocking your fingers, he silently reassures you. You take a deep breath and nod your head again, telling him you're ready.

That was all the confirmation Chan needed to start eating you out like a mad man. He couldn’t get enough. You were so sweet. So perfect and the noises you were making were nearly enough to make him cum immediately.

It felt so fucking good. You could feel your high quickly approaching, pleasure drowning out your nerves. Your finger snake their way into Chan’s hair, trying pulling him even closer but resulting in a deep groan coming from Chan. That was enough to throw you over the edge.

Once Chan is pleased with how he’s prepped you, he pulls away and removes his fingers. He watches your pussy clench around nothing over and over before he gently rolls you onto your stomach.

Chan settles behind you, resting on the back of your thighs. "Ready, baby?" He asks. You give him a shy nod. "Okay. Deep breaths. Relax." He says calming as he starts to push in, slowly.

The stretch is painful, and you struggle to stay calm and relaxed. When Chan feels you tense up, he stops. "Shhhh, you're okay. Just relax." He says, soothing you.

He gives you a moment. Once he feels you relax again, he starts pushing in again. You put all of your energy into focusing on your breathing and trying to stay relaxed, but as the burn intensifies, you find yourself tensing again. Chan is quick to notice and pauses again. "Easy baby. You can take it. You just have to go slow. We're halfway there." He says calmly as he massages the tense muscles in your back.

Soon, you find yourself totally relaxed again. It's like his praises have put you under some sort of spell. You barely even notice that he's pushing in again. It isn't long before Chan finds himself buried to the hilt in your heat. You're so tight and warm around him. All he can do is groan as he tries to remain still. You, on the other hand, are completely overwhelmed by the fullness you feel.

It takes you a while to adjust, but Chan, being the gentleman he is, waits patiently. He just continues to massage away all your tension while whispering soft praises.

"See, I told you you'd be able to take it." He says, peppering light kisses down your neck and shoulder.

You move slightly, trying to get more comfortable and find yourself whimpering at the pain.

"It hurts." You whine to Chan. "I know, baby. It's okay. It's normal for it to hurt a little your first time. You're okay, I've got you." Chan says as he continues to layer kisses over your skin, trying to soothe you as well as ground himself. It's all he could do to not pound into you like a mad man.

After a short while, the pain begins to fizzle out. "Okay, I think you can move." You tell Chan, once again relaxing your body.

Slowly, Chan pulls out, and you find yourself hissing into the pillow. Chan just shooshes you as he slowly pushes back in. He repeats the motion, leaning over to take one of your hands in his as his other hand rests on your waist.

Once he feels you relax more underneath him and he hears your whimpers morph into moans, Chan picks up his pace a little.Pleasure begins to spark like electricity all over your body, but there is still a tinge of pain.

"How does it feel, baby?" Chan groans out. He is doing absolutely everything he can to keep a slow, steady pace for you, but he's slipping.

"It still hurts a little, but it's starting to feel good." You tell him honestly through whimpers and moans you fail to hide. He hates how you try to stay quiet but knows you're shy, and it's your first time, so he will let it slide for now. Chan leans in close, trailing kisses up your neck and to the sweet spot behind your ears. He lets out a deep groan as he feels you clench around him.

"Want me to make it feel even better?" He whispers in your ear. You fail to stop the moan that spills out of you as you eagerly nod your head, leaving a cocky smirk on Chan's face.

"Lift your hips a little." He demands, and you're quick to comply. The hand that was resting on your waist snakes its way down between your thighs and plays with your wetness, gently strumming your clit, leaving you gasping.

That did it. That broke him. He couldn't hold back anymore. "Say red if you want me to stop, okay." Chan says, clenching his jaw. You quickly nod, letting out a faint yes. Chan tucks his knees closer to your body before he begins bucking wildly into you.

The room is filled with the rapid sound of Chan's body connecting with yours and your louds moans that can no longer be contained. Chan was right. This feels amazing. You don't even know why you were so nervous to do this anymore.

Chan chants praises and groans, and he pounds you into the mattress. He keeps a constant and steady rhythm on your clit. It isn't long before he feels you clamping down on him with a scream of his name. It takes everything in him not to cum on the spot. He wants more, he needs you to come again.

He quickly pulls out, making you hiss, before flipping you on your back. He's back inside you, pounding away, before you even have a chance to comprehend the position change. Your eyes roll back in pleasure as you hook your feet around Chan's waist, trying to pull him deeper.

Chan lets out a growl as he snakes his hand up to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly. Your eyes widen as they meet his, grabbing hold of his wrist. He's watching you so intently, looking for any sign of discomfort. Instead, he's met with a look of total bliss on your face as you clench so hard you nearly push him out.

You're quickly approaching another high and Chan has no intention of slowing down until you cum again. Chan is close too, trying desperately to hold off, to finish with you. He's a babbling mess of praises and groans. You're so close to the edge, just needing another push to send you over. You use your other hand to cover your mouth as you feel like you want to scream in please. This pissed Chan off. He ripped your hand away and held it above your head.

"Don't do that. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel." Chan grunts. You comply, and you're sure there will be a noise complaint in the morning.

"F- Fuck, baby. You feel so good. You're gonna make me cum! Please, please baby. Cum with me. Cum." Chan babbles. That's all you needed to hurtle into a mind-numbing orgasm, taking Chan with you.

For a few minutes, the room is filled with the sound of your combined panting as you both can down from your highs. Chan slumps forward, releasing your throat and wrists and supports his weight on his elbows.

"Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you?" Chan asks, loving tucking some hair behind your ear. You look at him with a tired smile. "No, baby. That was perfect. Thank you." Chan giggles."My pleasure, baby. Let's get you cleaned up, then we can cuddle."

He slowly pulls out you, and you both wince with the overstimulation. Chan tells you to stay put as he gets off the bed and heads into the bathroom. You hear the water running and wonder what he's doing.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you try to calm your rapid heartbeat and slow your breathing. You suddenly feel something warm and wet touch your inner thigh, making you jump. You open your eyes to find Chan wiping up the mess you've both made between your thighs with a warm cloth. Still so sensitive and now growing sore, you whimper in discomfort. Chan soothes you. "I know, baby, look at this mess. You did so well for me." Soon, you're all cleaned up. Chan throws the cloth in the hamper before tucking you under the blanket and crawling in next to you.

"I love you, Channie." You say tiredly. Chan can't help but giggle at how cute you are.

"I love you too, baby. Always."

[h0ney-mochi]

HELLO BEEN A LONG TIME AAAA

So, may i request Wanderer being a little shit as usual and the reader getting pissed off so they overstim him and make him beg-

Wanderer x gn!reader ;; readers pronouns not mentioned

SMUT/[N]SFW CONTENT (sub!Wanderer, dom!reader, overstimulation, begging

Summary: Wanderer being an ass to you as usual, but it really starts irritating you one day and so you.. bite him back, so to speak.

A/n: welcome back Esther <3 been a long time indeed. Sorry for the wait on ur requests.. actually, sorry for disappearing in general. mmh. I know I already apologized, but... okay. I'll talk about that later. I hope you enjoy. <3

"What's the fun in doing the same thing as yesterday? Nothing better to do?"

"Psh. It's really entertaining seeing you get mad over something so little like that—"

"Another day, another reminder to me that you're stupid."

"Huh. Can't look me in the eye now? Amusing."

That's only few of the things you've been forced to listen to today. You know you can't change his personality and his words, but sometimes it really does annoy you. Infuriate you. As if he has the upper hand in everything, as if he's all knowing.

Today's just another day. Usually you could handle his attitude, but today certainly wasn't the day. While Wanderer's throwing another sassy remark at you, you're trying to calm yourself down. Not the best time to be pissed off at him! You've got better things to do!

"Ohh, can't respond now? Did my words made you go silent?" His voice rings in the background as you lift your gaze to stare at him. Your met with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Oh dear, oh dear, someone sure looks rather upset, huh?" Wanderer speaks, chuckling at the end.

You swallow. Oh he's not gonna do this shIt. He better not.

He doesn't move under your gaze, simply staring back. He taps his fingers against the table, "Are you trying to intimidate me? Because you just look funny. Did I struck something, hmm?"

Right.

It's Wanderer.

Being a little shIt as usual. Except today's not your day.

You get up and walk in the direction to your room. He's quick to follow, using some of his anemo power to quickly catch up to you.

"Hey, don't you think it's rude to leave your friend while he's talking to you?" He speaks, floating to your side. When his feet are back on the ground, you take this chance to push him against the wall. A noise of surprise escapes his mouth as you work quick, flipping him over so his chest is against the wall.

Your hand held his wrists together behind his back while you rested your head into his shoulder. You breathe in deep before exhaling. You lift your head and see that Wanderer has turned his head to the side so he could see you. His lips are also moving- oh wait, he's saying something. Right.

"Let go-! What the fuck!" He exclaims, wriggling his arms to get out of your hand, but you only push you body against him, tightening your grip as well. He breathes in hard, glaring. "Did you not hear me? Have you gone deaf? I said let GO-"

"With the way you've been treating me today, I honestly could care less about listening to you."

Your voice was way too calm. Not a hint of annoyance, even though you were pissed at him. That made the man feel weird. Rather concerned, actually. Yet he knows he'll be able to turn the tables. He always can!

"Oh, is that it, huh? I really hit a spot?" Wanderer does a half smirk, "That's funny, you really got worked up over all that?" A chuckle escapes at the end of his sentence and you feel yourself freeze up. Just how far is he pushing you right now?

You lean into his ear to speak, "You sure do love running that mouth. Maybe I should give it some other use other than that? Should do that actually, it's what you deserve after all."

He swallows, a sudden thought popping into mind. And now he's.. not that bothered by you holding him against the wall, restricting his movements. Wait, no, he should resist-

"Hm? Gone quiet now? Ran out of useless shit to say?" You go down to a whisper, blowing air on his skin. Wanderer focuses his eyes on one spot on the wall, thinking of what to say and trying to ignore how hot your breath is—

"Let's go," you suddenly lean away, moving your hand to one of his wrists. You quickly start walking, leaving no time to answer Wanderer as he tries to speak.

...

"Fuck— fuck, I'm so close-" He moans, his dick pulsing in your hands. You don't say anything, you just stare at his facial expression. Eyes screwed shut, mouth slightly agape, breathy moans escaping.

You've already noticed that he's lifting his hips up, trying to match your pace. You've also noticed him still trying to move his hands out of the rope behind his back.

Another, much louder, moan comes after a moment of silence. "Ah— Mmh, fuck, come on, come on I'm gonna— I'm—! Haah—" Wanderer interrupts his own sentence, coming all over your hands and parts of his stomach. You don't slow down, continuing to do your work, making Wanderer twitch violently.

"That— That's enough, stop- [Name], that's- haah- that's enough- fuck-!" He moans out, his hands gripping the sheets under him, trying to get away.

"Enough? Are you fucking serious right now?"

Wanderer felt something he didn't feel before. The way you said that sentence, the.. anger in your voice..? Were you mad? Usually that would make him laugh, show his tongue at you, but all it did now was make his cheeks redder and make him weirdly needy for you. Needy? You're jerking him off, what else can he ask for??

"If you think I'm going to stop just because you told me to, you're beyond stupid. You've been a bitchg to me all fucking day, you think I care? Do you really?" You put a hand on his jaw, staring right into his eyes, "It's my turn to have my fun now. I'm not letting you go."

You were surprised to feel his dick get hard in your hand again.

© h0ney-mochi 2024 / Please don't copy or repost my work and writings! <3

[queer-little-demigod]

you’re so very special - clarisse la rue

summary she realises the mistake she made, but have you already slipped through her fingers?

fic type angst/fluff

pairing clarisse la rue x fem!hades!reader

word count 1k

warnings grovelling clarisse, angst, fluff

masterlist i wish i were special (pt.1)

For the next few weeks, she noticed you. You stood out in every crowd, even in your Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, even in the same clothes you wore every day, you stood out like a splash of red on a white canvas.

Gods, it killed her inside.

She replayed it in her head–the way your eyes had emptied of all emotion. Those eyes which were the darkest brown, devoid of colour yet so vivid with feeling, had simply become flat. She thought of how your face fell when she told you that glory mattered more than you did. How could she ever say that? How did it even cross her mind?

How could she give in to the heartlessness of her godly parent so easily?

Glory was transient. It was finite, it wasn't permanent. It was the way youth vanishes from one's body, the way buildings crumble with time, and the way swords dull with use.

You were intransient, a constant, infinite. You were the intransience of the sea, the permanence of the sun rising in the east, the infinite expanse of the universe. You weren't glory, you were love, you were kindness, you were everything.

When did that change?

She sat in the amphitheatre, talking to her friends. Their chatter faded to the background, everything vanished for her as her eyes landed on you–sitting alone with your eyes trained on nothing in particular. She felt her annoyance increase as she saw a group of people right beside you, forming such a close knit that they physically barred you from inclusion.

Why did you slip from her priority?

She wanted to stand and march over to you, throw an arm over your shoulder and talk to you the whole night. She wanted to hold your hand and listen to your eager voice as you explained something new to her. She wanted you.

Your shoulders were slumped–were they always like that? You didn't move, you simply observed–was that normal for you? She hated herself for not knowing. She hated that she had neglected you for so long, so blinded by her thirst for glory, that she never saw how truly lonely you were.

To be lonely is to be in a crowded room with no one to talk to, but to be alone is to not be in a crowded room at all.

She was about to move to sit beside you, warring against her internal conflict between two choices–leave you be because of shame, or leave you be because she couldn't move with the dept of her regret. She had only just turned around to stand when another girl sat beside you.

She told you that glory mattered more, why did it hurt when she saw she wasn't the one beside you?

Her heart ached–no, it burned when she saw your eyes light up. She used to make you look like that. You only used to look at her that way–as if she was the moon and you were an astronomer, ever in love with her.

Jealousy. An ugly emotion which didn't want to be felt, but demanded to be.

The girl said something, you laughed. Your eyes scrunched up, you clutched your stomach, entire body alive with mirth. How could you express so easily? How could you express with your whole body?

Why did she call you names? You deserved better. Gods, you deserved the world. You deserved to be looked at like you were a masterpiece, and the artist was marvelling at their work.

She hated it. She hated how her guilt, regret, and pain clawed at her from inside. She hated how she knew that no amount of screaming could ease this feeling. She hated how it was constant. A constant which reminded her of her blunder.

She turned away, unable to bear the sight of you talking animatedly to that girl. You always used your hands to speak, you spoke with your whole body, your eyes conveyed every emotion so clearly that you were an open book.

An open book that few tried to read. An open book that kept being shut and put in the corner of the bookshelf–forgotten.

Days bled into weeks, weeks into a month. That girl, who Clarisse found out was a child of Hecate by the name Zara, had gotten far closer to you than Clarisse would've liked.

Where she once had your time in the training grounds, Zara was there–showing you how to use her bow and arrow. Where once you both sat at the bonfire with your head on Clarisse's shoulder, Zara was there, resting her head atop yours as you talked.

Where Clarisse once loved you, Zara seemed to do it better.

All this pain, all this hurt, all this ugly, horrid jealousy, because she simply couldn't get out of the haze of glory she was in.

'You said I was special,' your words rang in her ears as she stabbed the dummy again and again.

You were so very special. You were the one thing that kept her from becoming the rage-filled monster that everyone thought she was. You were the calm that helped her crazy, the water that put out the fire of constant anger within her.

You were special.

Nobody had held her the way you did, nobody spoke to her the way you did. Nobody even so much as looked at her the way you did–with pure love and adoration.

Glory, glory, glory-- A persistent chant in her mind that she had used to try and quell her thoughts about you. A mantra that she repeated to try and get you out of her head.

She found herself approaching you one evening, as Zara had left you be to turn in for bed.

"Y/n–" She began, but the words caught in her throat.

Your eyes did it again. They lit up for a fraction of a second, but immediately dulled at the sight of her.

She was the reason why that happened. Her cutting words and insults and thirst for glory had consumed whatever little happiness she used to offer you.

"What do you want, Clarisse?" You asked, annoyed. You didn't want to see her, you hated how she made you feel now.

Or did you?

"Please, let me--"

"No, I won't!"

She recoiled. She deserved that.

"I just want a moment of your time, please, Y/n," she pleaded.

"Fine," you conceded. "I'm giving you a minute."

She breathed deeply, and exhaled to prepare herself.

War begging for death's forgiveness. An ever-present trope.

"I have been...thinking for the last few weeks," she said. "I--I realise how shitty I was to you, when you were nothing but patient, kind, and loving. You stayed when I didn't, you waited even though I didn't give you the time of day, and I am so sorry because I didn't realise how much it meant to me, your time that is, when I didn't have it.

"You are an amazing person, Y/n. And gods, you're so very special to me," she said, holding back tears.

"Didn't seem like it when you called me clingy and attention-seeking," you deadpanned. Part of you wanted to forgive her there, but the sensible side told you to wait till she completed.

"I know," she said, fisting her hands in her hair. "I know I haven’t been doing the things I committed to you, but I know now that glory isn’t everything. It’s taken me time to realise it, and in that time I lost you.

“You don’t have to forgive me, Y/n, but—but I swear on the river Styx that I will never, ever make you not feel special. Because gods, Y/n, you’re so so special to me, you’re everything, and I only—I only realised it when I became nothing to you,”

You contemplated. You thought. Clarisse’s heart fell—it felt like rejection.

But oh how her heart soared when you wrapped your arms around her neck to bring her into a loving hug.

“You never were nothing to me,” you whispered, pulling back to wipe away her tears which she never realised were falling steadily from her eyes.

How had she fumbled this? How had she prioritised a flag on a stick over those beautiful brown eyes of yours? Over you?

She smiled, her heart fluttering and racing so much that she feared she may drop dead of a heart attack.

“Let’s start over, hm?” You asked, smiling.

There it was. The smile. The smile that made the corners of your eyes crinkle and made your dark irises sparkle even in the darkness of the evening.

The smile she knew was reserved for her.

“Let’s start over,”

She vowed never to make you not feel special again.

Because you were oh so special to her.

Hi! It’s me, Lea! I hope you liked this imagine, feel free to request <3

[jedi-hawkins]

Raining Flowers

The Clones all deserve flowers! Or maybe they think you deserve flowers 😉 Either way, love is in bloom this week for the Clone Flowers Fic Event!

Throughout this week, May 20th-25th, certain participants will be posting their own fics of Clones and different flower themes that were selected! The participants as well as the Clones and flowers they will be writing for are listed below and links to each fic will be added as they are posted! 💐 Follow the tag #cloneflowerficevent to see them all as they come!!

Event Masterlist

@arctrooper69 - Tup, Rex, Gregor @photogirl894 - Hunter, Wrecker, Fives @nahoney22 - Fox, Tech @totallyunidentified - 99, Cody @dragonrider9905 - Hardcase @l-lend - Wolffe @moonstrider9904 - Howzer @eyecandyeoz - Waxer

Make sure to go check out their entries too, we'll be posting throughout the week!

Pairing: Echo x fem Jedi!reader

Chosen Flower: Cherry Blossoms

Word count: 3.7k

Rating: PG-13

Warnings/Notes: Mentions of death, mourning, disordered eating/recovery, nightmares, all canon trauma related to Echo's Techno Union arc, suggestive fluff, some swearing, reader has hair, friends (idiots) to lovers, mutual pining, a bit of angst

Beta-read by @photogirl894

As a Jedi Master you’re always being run hither and yon throughout the galaxy. Your most recent assignment has you on Naboo as head of security for a symposium of senators. Your squad of support troopers is set to arrive later today. 

You have to admit, you’re a little nervous. The squad that’s being sent is Clone Force 99. You’ve worked with them before and get along with them well enough, but the thought of their newest member is what’s making your stomach churn.

Echo. You knew him before the mission that killed him, before he was even recruited for the 501st. He was your closest friend and confidant. After his valiant efforts on the Rishi Moon Outpost he was stationed on your Venator. You quickly recognized his skill for strategy and recruited him as your personal tactics advisor along with his twin, Fives. No matter how bad of a day you had, dinner and a walk with Echo always lifted your spirits. 

Then Rex had to steal your Domino twins from you. You were so proud of them and you knew Anakin was gaining two of the best soldiers you’d ever seen, but you were still sad to see them go. You still kept in touch with Echo, you could always count on at least one holocall a week. You’d just fill each other in on the happenings in your lives, brainstorm war issues that were giving you trouble, talk about everything and nothing all at once. You were able to see him a couple times when you were sent to work with the 501st and it was always like no time had passed.

Then the Citadel happened.

You didn’t let anyone see you cry for him. A Jedi mourning a single clone? It felt like not many would understand, and the war was still raging. You had to move on with your head held high, and yet you were numb for months.

Fives kept in touch with you, you offered your condolences, but held it together for him. The two of you would share a holocall every month or so to catch up and reminisce in memories of Echo but it still wasn’t quite the same. Even though your best friend was gone, you found yourself talking to him under your breath about your day, just like those weekly holocalls. 

Eventually the pain faded to just a dull ache in the background. Then Fives went rogue and was ‘decommissioned’ as the report put it. The last tie you had to Echo was gone. The Chancellor held that report under lock and key, so once again you mourned one of your Domino Twins with little comfort. 

The numbness took over again, but this time it didn’t linger for quite as long. Just when you got to the point that memories of Echo and Fives  brought happy tears, you got the comm from Anakin. They found Echo. 

The guilt nearly swallowed you whole. Echo had been alive this whole time and you didn’t know. They mounted a rescue for him and you weren’t told. His recovery happened and you weren’t there. Today would be the first time you’d seen or spoken to him since your last holocall before the Citadel. You couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Why hadn’t he reached out to you before now?’ 

You had kept to yourself partly because you were being run into the ground by the Council, but also because you wanted to give him space. You weren’t sure he even remembered you. Would he still be your Echo? 

Rex knew what Echo had meant to you and commed directly after they rescued him to fill you in more than Anakin had. He didn’t reveal much more, but he had let you know that the Techno Union did things to him. That he looked different, that he was found with a lot of integrated mechanics. That was months ago, and you hadn’t heard much since. 

So here you were, anxiously wringing your hands awaiting the arrival of Squad 99. 

You recognize their ship as they land, thankfully they scrubbed their nose art off before this mission. Probably with some convincing from Anakin. The ramp lowers and Sergeant Hunter disembarks to meet you. 

You quickly run him through the plan for today. The symposium isn’t until tomorrow, but it is up to you to survey the venue to note ‘problem areas’ and make sure nothing is compromised. 

Hunter suggests that Wrecker and Crosshair pair off and that he’ll go with Tech. He gives you an all-knowing look when you do the math of who’s left. You’d mentioned Echo in passing before to Hunter while on missions. When he commed to debrief about this mission, he asked how you were and suddenly you were spilling nearly everything about your history with Echo. Hunter had assured you his squad was taking care of him and that your worries would stay between the two of you. 

“You two need the time to talk.” Hunter muttered, squeezing your shoulder and calling to his brothers. 

You’re left waiting at the bottom of the ramp for a few more minutes before a figure appears in the Marauder’s door. Your stomach drops at the sight of him. 

He looks so different. New metal legs shine in the sunlight, and a scomp link is where his right hand used to be. ‘No more double wielding,’  you think to yourself. His new armor is red and black, Batch colors. Your heart does warm at the sight of the kama he’s wearing, at least he hasn’t forgotten that he’s still an ARC. His new helmet is tucked under his scomp arm. 

His eyes brighten when he sees you. Mechanical studs for Maker knows what dot his scalp, but even though his skin is much paler and his face is sunken in, those are still the same amber eyes that you’ve sought comfort in so many times. 

Your voice is shaky at first. “E-Echo?”

Some color spreads across the bridge of his nose as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, d-different I know. You look good though.” 

You smile at his compliment and lead the way to the side of the venue you two will be surveying. At first you walk in silence, neither of you really sure how to bridge the gap between you. You want to ask him how he’s been, how his recovery went, explain how sorry you are for not being there, but the words keep getting stuck in your throat. 

You open your mouth to say something, but Echo beats you to it. “Do you still like roast bantha?” 

“Y-yeah?” You respond, a little taken aback by his odd question. “Why?”

He shrugs “Because I had some the other week and it was the first real meal I enjoyed since returning.” 

“It was my favorite, still is.” 

“I remember.” Echo gives you a sideways glance. “You can ask, I know you want to.” 

Of course he knew what you were thinking. You go back to wringing your hands. “I- I want to apologize first. I didn’t even know a rescue was happening, I should have been there but no one told me. I was off the grid on Taris.” 

Once the words start, they don’t stop. “Anakin commed me after they got you out but they didn’t let me see you on Coruscant. Then you were reassigned and I didn’t know where you were. I’m sorry I should have reached out, but I wanted to give you space. I didn’t know if you remembered me...” 

Echo stops you by resting his hand on your shoulder.. “It’s okay, really. You don’t need to apologize. I had a whole army of people fussing over me. I should have reached out, that was on me. I just didn’t know how you’d feel about all… this” He says gesturing to himself. 

“Oh Echo, no. I don’t care about that. I was just so worried, I just wanted you to be okay.” You say hurriedly. “Are you- are you okay?”

He nods, turning to start walking again. “I am, there’s been some adjustments but I’m getting used to it.” 

You tilt your head curiously, “Tell me about it. If you feel comfortable.” 

“Of course I feel comf-'' His words are cut off when he stumbles on the stone path beneath your feet. “Well that’s one thing. These damn legs. The Techno Union gave me some rudimentary ones, but these are much more complex. They’re heavier and made me a couple inches taller too. I probably looked like a newborn fathier for the first couple weeks.” 

You stifle a snicker and Echo notices. 

“You can laugh, really.” He reassures you. “I missed that laugh of yours. You always shared my sense of humor.” 

“Did they hurt?” You wonder aloud, glancing down at his metal thigh. 

He shrugs, “Nah, not really. They’re wired up so that I can feel some sensation of moving but I can’t really register touch, it’s more of a dull pressure. Sometimes I’ll get some weird feelings, like an ache or an itch in my leg that’s not there, Tech called it ‘phantom pains.’ The most annoying thing is that I always feel warm now from the mechanics in me.” 

Echo can see the curiosity glinting in your eyes. “Here.” He says, halting and propping his foot up on a nearby garden wall. He moves his kama out of the way before he gently takes your hand and presses your hand to his left thigh. 

You can feel the warmth under your palm. It’s not quite like the warmth from human skin, but it’s not like the warmth from a databank either. It reminds you of the warmth of your lightsaber, you can still feel Echo’s life force pulsing under your touch. 

“Incredible.” You mutter as he readjusts himself. “I remember you were always freezing before.” 

He chuckles. “Yeah, I suppose I was. I would always steal Fives’ blankets.”

Your heart pangs at the mention of Echo’s twin. “Rex told you, I assume?” 

“Yeah. He did.” Echo sighs. “Said something in his and Tup’s heads malfunctioned but couldn’t tell me much else. We had a little memorial for them.” 

“That’s nice. I wasn’t there when it happened, he and I talked about you a lot.” 

“I know he definitely would have had a few jokes about this.” Echo says waving his scomp link, trying to lighten the mood. 

Your brow scrunches. “I’m surprised Anakin didn’t offer to make you a hand like his.” 

“He did, I just thought I’d keep the scomp. Means we don’t have to lug around an astromec to get into places. I don’t mind it, it’s all right.” A sly smirk spreads across his face.

You groan at him. “Was that a kriffing joke?” You say, fully laughing at him. “You’re terrible. Fives would be proud.”

Echo’s laughter joins yours. “Yeah, he would’ve nearly pissed himself watching me figure this thing out. One morning I nearly took my eye out trying to rub it with this.” 

You cover your mouth and groan at the thought as Echo continues. 

“Another time I was enjoying some morning caf and leaned on the counter, only I forgot I didn’t have a hand anymore and the scomp slipped. Fell flat on my face and I smelled like caf all day.” 

Again, your laughter starts back up at the mental image. “The Batch, are they treating you well?” You ask between giggles. 

“They are.” Echo says with a nod. “They’ve really helped me through some of the rough parts.” 

“Oh?”

“Well of course Tech has helped me figure out the kinks of my new mechanics.” Echo shrugs. “But he also really helped me with speech. For a while my mind was a bit jumbled. My thoughts were broken with old battle strategies, the data Techno Union kept pulling. I would lose the word for something right before I said it, use the wrong word, misunderstand what someone was saying. Tech helped me realize that my brain had literally been damaged, rewired, and that it would take time to come back from that. When I didn’t have the words, he had them for me. Others may find his tendency to finish peoples’ sentences a bit annoying, but I was thankful for it. Saved me a lot of frustration when I was trying to communicate early on.” 

“I’ve always found that trait of his endearing.” You reply, not wanting to stunt Echo’s sharing. 

“And Hunter’s great too. It’s been kind of nice having someone else in charge. He talked to me about it, acknowledged that I had more wartime experience than him, but he knew I needed to take a step back and heal, not be the one with all the answers.”

You smile at his mention of the Sergeant’s intentions. “Hunter has a big heart, he sees a lot more than you’d think.” 

Echo nods. “He helped me with other things too. I sometimes get these electronic migraines. Tech thinks they happen when the mechanics in my head overstimulate the electrical activity of my brain but he couldn’t really figure out a solution. Hunter did though, since he gets migraines himself. Showed me his whole care routine to shorten them and ride it out.” 

Memories of the time you witnessed one of Hunter’s migraines make you wince. “I hope they’re not too bad.” 

“No, not with their help. The hardest thing to figure out was how to gain weight again.” 

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed, I mean you look…” Your words are lost as you gesture to him. 

He gives you a sly look, but continues without comment. “Yeah. Food just wasn’t the same for me when I woke up. I don’t really understand the science behind it, but I wasn’t fed in Purkoll. They must have been giving me something but when I woke up I was emaciated and, I just didn’t have an interest in food. The appetite came back pretty quick as I started being more active, but I just couldn’t find stuff that made me want to eat. I mentioned the Bantha roast, that was Wrecker’s idea since he remembered you making it one time on mission. He’s been a big help in finding things I like. He also has this way of packing an insane amount of calories and protein into a meal. He was also pretty big in helping me regain muscle mass. Surprisingly, or maybe not, he was always the one to check in on me, make sure I wasn’t being pushed too hard.” 

You smile. “Wrecker is a sweetheart, and he does have a way with food. He can make those GAR ration packs taste better than anyone. He has a way with people too.” 

“His workouts are intense, though.” Echo jokes.

“Tell me about it.” You shake your head. “I hope Crosshair hasn’t given you too much trouble. He can be intense in a different way.” 

“Crosshair?” Echo repeats. “Nah, he’s okay. He gives me shit like he does everyone else. He was a nice change from all the doctors fussing over me. He didn’t look at me like I was fragile. He didn’t treat me like I was going to break at any second, even when he…” Echo trails off, but you can sense his thoughts. 

“You have nightmares don’t you.” You state gently. 

Echo nods. “One of the first nights I was with them I had this dream. I was back there in that city being taken apart and pieced back together again; having my mind played with. I’m pretty sure I was talking in my sleep, yelling more likely. When I woke up I saw Crosshair was on watch, but he had his back turned to me. He didn’t say anything the next day and neither did the others. I don’t know if they heard me because they’re all heavy sleepers, or if Crosshair told them not to say anything. I don’t know if he’s been doing it on purpose, but he always takes watch when it’s my turn to sleep. Whenever I’m napping too, he’s always there with his back to me. It helped with the dreams, knowing I had someone watching for me.” 

“Echo…” You mutter, unsure of what to say. You want to comfort him, but what could you do for him that his squad hasn’t already? He’s healing without you.

A breeze picks up before you find the words causing soft pink flowers to start raining down on the two of you from the trees above. You move to brush them out of your hair, but Echo’s hand wraps around your wrist to stop you. 

“No, leave them.” He says, “They’re pretty.” 

You bow your face to try to hide the warmth rising in your cheeks as Echo guides you to a nearby bench. 

“Sit with me for a moment?” His voice is timid.

“Of course.”

“You helped me too, you know.” Echo says, tracing his fingers over your palm. 

“How could I possibly have helped you?” You sigh, trying and failing at hiding the sadness in your voice. “I wasn’t there, haven’t been there.”

“But you have.” Echo insists. “It’s hard to explain, but in Purkoll I had these moments where it was almost like I was myself again. It was probably in the lulls when the Separatists weren’t accessing my memories. In those moments I talked to you, like we used to. I talked about my days, reminisced about the good times, funny memories. I think it’s what kept me from losing myself entirely. And when I woke up… I sort of kept doing it. The Batch is great, but they didn’t know me before, you know? They’ve never known me as anything other than this.” 

Echo gestures to himself with his scomp before continuing. “And Rex, he did, but staying with him felt like it would’ve been a step backwards. I needed to move on, but I didn’t want to forget who I was, you knew me better than anyone, even Fives. There were days when it felt like I would never recover, never be the elite soldier I once was. Those were the days I talked to you the most, imagined what you’d say back to me. In my mind you’d let me have my pity party, then tell me to get my ass in gear. I should’ve just commed you for the real conversation, but I was a coward. I was afraid that you’d look at me like I was broken, so I kept you in my head. I hope that’s not weird…”  He trails off.

You don’t even know what to say as your chest fills with awe. All this time, he’s been talking to you? 

Echo gently tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “These flowers suit you.” He says gently, filling the silence.

You glance up at the tree above you and hum to yourself. “They’re cherry blossoms. Fitting.” 

“How so?”

“They’re a symbol of rebirth and new beginnings.” You explain. “Echo, it’s not weird or cowardly that you’ve been talking to me. I’ve been doing the same actually. I thought about comming you every day after Anakin and Rex told me they found you, but I was so terrified you wouldn’t remember me.”

He gently grasps your chin with his thumb and forefinger to raise your eyes to his. “I could never forget you. You were the tether that kept me, me. I wish we hadn’t wasted time getting back in touch.” 

A light laugh passes through your nose. “Another lesson of the cherry blossoms. They bloom for only few days and remind us that life is fleeting.” 

“If life is fleeting, then I guess I should go ahead and do this.” Echo mutters before leaning towards you. 

He’s timid at first when your lips connect, but grows more bold as the seconds melt into minutes. You can feel his scomp arm pull you closer as his hand tousles in your hair. There’s a tiny voice in the back of your head chastising you, ‘Jedi cannot have selfish attachments.’ You immediately push it aside. 

This, the love you have for Echo is no selfish attachment. You already lost him once, you mourned him and never turned from the light. He was your light. Your confidence builds as his tongue begins to explore yours, the garden around you fading away. The feelings you both harbored for each other all these years are finally confessed without a single word being spoken. It’s just you.

You don’t even know how long you two have been tangled in each other when you can hear a faint beeping coming from Echo’s bracer. He must have heard it too because he breaks away from you with a grumble before answering the comm.

“Echo, go.” He answers.

‘Echo, it’s Hunter. We’ve all finished our surveillance and are back at the Marauder, what’s your status?” 

Echo’s eyes flit to you with your hand pressed over your mouth trying to keep from laughing. “We-uhhh got dis- duh… sah-sidetracked. Something suspicious we had to investigate.” 

From the tiny snicker Hunter lets slip you can tell he doesn’t buy it. ‘Alright, we’ll keep your rations warm. Will the General be joining us?’

“Sure Hunter, I’d love to.” You call before Echo can answer. 

‘Sounds like a plan. Don’t take too long or you’ll kiss- I mean miss dinner.’ 

“Womp-rat bastard.” Echo grumbles when Hunter ends the call. 

You nearly keel over with laughter at Hunter’s comment and the expression Echo has on his face. 

“I’m glad you find this amusing. How in Sith’s Hells did he even know?” He says, obviously trying to keep a straight face.

“Oh please.” You say, grinning. “Hunter’s literally enhanced to sense everything, he got us good. Come on,” you say, standing up. “Let’s finish our round so we can go eat.” 

Echo stands shaking his head, but he takes your hand and gestures further down the path. “After you, ner sarad.”

“That’s mando, I recognize it.” You say over your shoulder. “What does it mean?”

Echo smiles at you, his eyes, those same old eyes lighting up. “I'll tell you all about it.

[pinkaditty]

Idia Shroud Thoughts (Twisted Wonderland)

summary: a small collection of thoughts about Idia Shroud to cure my endless brainrot. some nsfw, some sfw. either way, 18+.

a/n: okok i promise I AM WORKING ON THE OBEY ME PERV THING ok i am i swear i promise <3. I just recently started playing Twisted Wonderland again after having uninstalled it like, a year or so ago and i immediately reentered my Idia Shroud brainrot bc he's my fav! more for the other of age characters will be coming soon. silent readers won't be blocked but psa that i do love it when you leave comments, likes, and asks!

PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL NOT WRITE ANYTHING 18+ FOR CHARACTERS THAT ARE CANONICALLY UNDER 18, AND THAT INCLUDES THE CHARACTERS IN TWST, EVEN IF THEY ARE IN COLLEGE. I WILL NOT AGE THEM UP FOR SEXUALIZATION PURPOSES EITHER. IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE. PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARY. thank you! :)

cw: uwaaa as per usual! some smut implication, gn!reader though mention of underwear is present, sub!idia, annnnd i think that's it. please lmk if i missed anything triggering!

also as per usual! MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI. DNI DNI DNI!!! PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARY. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

Idia Shroud who is...

Idia Shroud who is nervous.

He wasn’t the one to first approach. He was perfectly fine with watching you from afar, daydreams of you placating his intense yearning, and fantasies of you fueling his wet dreams and satisfying his libido. He was fine just being a background character until you grew closer. His nerves ate him alive whenever you approached, and he almost resorted to his old habit of talking through a tablet. But he managed, and you became friends. Every time you were close, he knew it would never be enough. Even when you got close enough to give the occasional hug or playfully punch him in the shoulder after a crushing video game loss, he knew these touches would only make it worse. But he couldn’t stop. He wanted to milk you dry of all the affection you were willing to give him, because it made him thrive, and only made his pining worse. Helping you with classwork, showing you his favorite video games, and inviting you over to do nothing together… It got worse and worse and worse for him until he was at rock bottom, believing his degeneracy could not get any worse. The dreams, the pretending, the yearning… It had taken its toll. Until you confessed. 

Idia Shroud who is possessive.

Not too possessive, but enough. His insecurities fuel his possessiveness, especially when he sees you talking to popular heartthrob Leona or sly tease Trey. His jealousy rises quickly and he can feel the roots of his hair blaze, turning orange before quickly fading back to blue. He cannot afford to lose his temper. It is times like these when he starts thinking about how you deserve someone better than a shut in, but he cannot bring himself to not cling to you. He simply must. Demonstrate that you love and want him and he’ll be happy. He cannot say that the occasional haunting thought of keeping you all to himself is not attractive, though.

Idia Shroud who is inexperienced. 

He’d had the occasional kindergarten or juvenile “relationship”, in which all it took to get a partner was sharing your snacks and offering a flower during recess. He was more innocent then, and less of a recluse. But over the years, he only found more and more reasons to shut himself in, and continued to find them until he didn’t need excuses anymore. The most he’s ever done is hold hands and hug, but even that was with family or when he was five years old. 

When you so much as lean on his shoulder he short circuits and stiffens, unsure of what he should do. When you grab his hand he freezes in place, wide eyed like a deer in headlights. When you kiss his cheek he jumps, shrinking in on himself and looking at you questioningly. It takes him a long time to even blush at these interactions, realizing that they come from a place of fondness and not emotionlessness or malicious intent. When he’s finally comfortable, doing these things in public will spook him immensely, but doing it in private is just fine. He’ll melt into your touches like he’s never been loved before. The thumping of your heart will be enough to soothe him to rest and a twitch of your fingers will be enough for him to grab yours, intertwining his fingers with them. He will breathe and you will be there and that will be enough. 

Don’t kiss him yet, though. You’d have to wait a few months to do that with him. 

Idia Shroud who is a pervert.

He simply cannot get enough of your smell. He doesn’t even mind if it's strong. It doesn’t matter. He will bury his face in your neck when you two are in private, and will do far worse when he’s alone. He often nicks your dirty clothes when he comes by your dorm. He usually takes worn shirts, hoodies, and bras (if you wear them), but will occasionally take a pair of your intimates. What he does with all those is obvious. He often sleeps with them, holding your clothes close to his face and inhaling your scent, pretending he was brave enough to convince you to stay over. And when a growing need makes itself known in his abdomen and his head starts to spin, he’ll wait til he’s alone before pulling out your intimates and shamefully pressing his face into them, wrapping a hand around his length. 

Idia Shroud who is submissive.

Well yes, he knows what sex is, he’s an adult. What he doesn’t know is all the particulars, how fond and loving it could be, how intense and overstimulating it could be, and just how many breaks he’d need to take. Before being with you, all he’d known was that watching hentai was enough to get him off. He knew what he liked in theory, all the twisted hentai fantasies locked under several layers of encryption on his laptop. But he didn’t know what he actually liked. He had never had anyone truly touch him before. When your fingers run down his arm or press into his thigh, he doesn’t know how to react. And when you touch bare skin, it’s even worse. It took you a long time to even kiss him, and it’ll take far longer to initiate and maintain any sort of extensive physical intimacy. But when he’s finally comfortable, you start out slow. You go no further than his torso for a few months, touching him carefully, paying attention to every hitched breath, gasp, and mumble that came from him, memorizing what he liked. When he says it’s alright, you’ll touch his thighs, and if he’s feeling brave, he’ll let you squeeze them and ghost your fingers close to his groin. With your permission, he’ll press his hands to your chest and hold you by your waist, and if he’s brave enough, he’ll squeeze your hips, too. When he finally lets you see his length, the two of you are limited to mutual masturbation for a while, foreheads pressed together and pleasured sighs mixing together. In the passing months, when he’s ready for more, you’ll start touching him, and he’ll start touching you, getting each other off instead of mutual masturbation. And finally, when he decides he’s truly ready, he’ll tell you, and he’ll let you take the lead and pin him to the nearest piece of furniture. 

Idia Shroud who is insatiable.

You’ve had him once, and you’ll have him again, and again, and again. After the first time, you worked together to see what felt and worked right for both of you, and once it was perfected, it just kept happening. He couldn’t get enough. He loved your touch, your taste, and all the sounds you’d make, and he loved how you made him feel. Each time he finished, whether he was inside or outside of you, under you or over you, taking what you had or doing the work, he always felt overwhelmingly yours. And he wanted to be yours over and over and over again, and he wanted you to remind him that he belonged to you each and every time. After taking control of things his whole life, it is immeasurably pleasurable to leave all the decisions to someone else. To be purely at their mercy, knowing he is safe in their arms. He cannot get enough of that feeling, and it’s all the better that it’s with you.

Idia Shroud who is in love with you.

a/n: screams and yells and kicks my feet i love him sm!! anyways i really really hope u guys like this one bc i actually really like this one. i think i did an exceptionally good job this time. again more will be coming for the other 18+ characs, like Trey and Cater and Vil and Rook and possibly Leona. I'll do the profs if asked, maybe, but the reader WILL NOT be a student. again i do appreciate likes, comments, reblogs, and asks!! thank you all so much!

[wittyno]

My thoughts on seasons one and two of the x-files.

Background: I knew nothing about the plot of the x-files before starting the show. I knew I would like it because I love Delta Green, which is just the x-files as a TTRPG and I knew Joel McHale loves it and proposed to his wife while watching it. I watched the first season about six or so months ago. I really liked it but life got busy and I wanted to give it the attention it deserves. I just watched season 2. yay

Here are some random thoughts

- that pilot is fire. It’s so fucking good. It hooks you in right away. It feels like a classic of the genre. The I lost time idea is done so well and not in a over the top way.

- this show is way more visceral than I thought it would be. Maybe because I’ve seen so much current cop-focused shows but this show grips you way better than any of the current copaganda on the market. It’s an actual drama not just pretending to be one.

- Season 1 is 24 episodes and season 2 is 25 episodes long. That’s an insane schedule. Not just by today‘s standard but just in general. I watched most of it on Freevee, which gives you little trivia about each episode, which is fun. It also means I know the horrifying fact that only two weeks after giving birth Gillian Anderson went back to work on this show. That’s probably just the tip of the iceberg.

- even for TV Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are very good looking. The choice to cast Boy Scout looking ass David Duchovny as the primary believer in the supernatural is so smart. Anyone else and he might come off as scary. The reason „am I spooky?“ is so funny is because the obvious answer is „no, not even a little“.

- because this show is so good. I can absolutely see how people who are already conspiracy-minded individual could take this show and really run with it. That’s not a criticism or a reason to not watch the show. It’s also not the fault of the creators nor a call to not make this type of art. I don’t even think this is a American History X type blunder. It’s just a warning. If you start believing in stuff like this to maybe take a break.

- the genetic memory episode is stupid. Also Phineas Gage lived a pretty normal life after his accident. He didn’t become violent. That’s not how the brain works.

- Scully gets kidnapped at least three times in season 2, which is too many. Even in a season with 25 episodes that’s too many. I know, the first one was because Gillian Anderson was pregnant but come on.

- while it is still copaganda and has some of those traits (choking suspects), it feels less like it because it pitches our FBI Heroes against impossible things and overwhelming forces (both human and extraterrestrial).

- it does a good job of balancing its insane runtime without overstaying its welcome. The middle of the season doesn’t sag or stagnate because they put mid-season finale.

- I like how often Mulder and Scully loose. Usually the military comes and covers it up or the evidence disappears and I like that. It gives the show a weight most cop show is don’t. Most cop shows, they either find, convict, or kill the suspect. It usually ends „well“, at least according to the rules of the show. Some of that happens here but more often than not. More innocent people get hurt. I like it because it shows the true overwhelming nature of what a job fighting the occult and extraterrestrial would look like.

- as for the political stuff. I think it’s important to remember that this show started airing in 1992 so you have to balance any sort of unsavory remarks or storylines against the age of the show. On the whole it actually does a pretty good job so far. As far as I can tell, at least.

- additionally you have to remember that in this world aliens are real and already among us. Spirits and other occult and extraterrestrials exist. The way you handle that is going to be different than we would in the real world. Especially with episodes like Calusari.

- the tech. So many examples on how old this show is. The big ones are the cars obviously, any sort of use or lack of use of the internet, and anything to do with phones. No texts, the prominent use of answering machines, hell I haven’t heard anyone talking about screening calls in over a decade. but the one I hadn’t thought of was flashlights. Flashlights have come a long way in the last 30-odd years.

- scully is a doctor of everything. Pathologist? Yes! Immunologist? Yes! She just keeps calling herself a medical doctor, which is technically true but is insane. Her knowledge base is just as wide as the writers need it to be and just as inaccurate to fit the plot. Honestly? Good for her! Woman in STEM.

- it’s also nice to see double breasted suits again. I feel like they are due for a come back. Though not some of those hairstyles. The only reason Dana looks good in hers is because she’s played by Gillian Anderson.

- that intro is doing the most. I love it so much. We don’t do intro like that anymore. It explains the entire premise of the show. With visuals and everything.

- yes, of course I ship them.

[keisurou]

greedy | jean kirstein x f!chubby reader

warnings: literally just.. masturbation. mention of public sex, and oral (m! and f!receiving)

Jean, if anything, is the epitome of a gentleman.

You can ask anyone, and they’ll all give you the same sort of answer. Oh, he’s such a great guy! Jean? You’ve got yourself a keeper with that one. He’s the absolute sweetest—and so responsible. Interestingly enough, that last one was always said with a particularly dreamy sigh.

And he never disappoints; his moral compass is unwavering. Or at least, it was.

It’s been three hours since he’s dropped you off at home, but with every passing hour it’s become harder to concentrate on anything besides you. Even back at home with the nature documentary droning on the TV in the background, you come to mind with the red dress you had on merely hours ago. It was a very nice dress; gave him the perfect view of your tits every time you shifted closer to kiss his cheek and when he was graced with the opportunity to walk behind you, he could see just how well it stretched snugly around the swell of your ass.

If he’s being honest with himself, you probably weren’t even wearing any panties. It’s something he had pushed to the back of his mind during the date because it’s a dangerous, dangerous thought and one he wasn’t ready to entertain in front of you or in public. But there was no way you had anything on underneath; he knows, he’s stared at your ass long enough, at the wide expanse of your hips with your cute love handles demanding to be seen. If he had splayed a hand across it, squeezing and lifting the weight of you, what would he have felt?

What would you have done?

He likes to think of you squealing a little before glaring up at him from under your lashes. You wouldn’t lose your composure in public—never. But behind closed doors? In the dark?

It’s all fair game.

His pants are uncomfortable tight now and he hisses as the material grazes against his cock when he lifts his hips to remove it. It's nothing new, but after months of dealing with such a.. hard issue, he’s more sensitive now. It’s fun to edge, of course, but he’d rather have you pressed up against the bathroom wall with your tits hanging out while you’re clawing at his back, begging him to fuck you harder.

His cock is standing at attention now, heavy and throbbing, and the chill of the night feel nice but your hands would feel much nicer. They’d be so soft and gentle, nothing like his own and he likes to think that you’d use both your hands; you always did give him all your attention.

He feels a little guilty if he’s being honest, thinking about how you’d lick him at the tip, kissing it softly before taking him into your mouth and struggling as you try to work in more and more of him inside you. You’d probably tear up a little from all the work; cry about how your jaw hurts and that’d be okay because he would end up making you cry out on his cock later on anyways. But he definitely feels much less guilty now than he did two months ago; at least now he can talk to you right after and act like he hadn’t just thought about how good you’d look after being fucked dumb on his cock.

But what he really wants is for you to sit on him. On his face so he can worship you the way you deserve, feel your thighs tremble and have you pull his hair when your squirt while he sucks on your clit. And then he wants to watch you make your way to his cock on trembling legs and sink down, inch by inch. Have your thighs spread wide for him so he can reach over and flick your clit every time you sink back down with the bounce of your tits and the jiggle of your stomach. He’s fisting his cock now, firm strokes up and down in tandem to the rhythm of how you’d take control. You’d go slow, you like to savour the moment and occasionally lean forward for a kiss. It’d be the change in angle that does it for him, the way he’d palm at your ass to bring you even closer, the delicious friction of your nipples against his chest that would make you whine out his name so he can fuck up into you even harder.

He finishes with a choked cry, fingers lazily still pumping up and down the length of him as the cum dribbles down over and over his knuckles until there’s none left. A while later he reaches for the tissues; it’s been long enough for him to feel uncomfortable, and he can’t help but wistful at the knowledge that if you were here, you wouldn’t have wasted a single drop.

[theragethatisdesire]

hiiiiiii 🥰💗

i would love to hear what you think eren and jean’s kinks are 🙊 plz&ty

omg tiff....i have successfully packed so u submitted at the best time. pls allow me to answer this as well as i can without drooling.

nsfw below the cut minors dni!

Eren

eren is super into overstimulation. like wants to have you a sobbing mess before he even puts it in. loves when you beg him to stop (dw u have a safe word so he knows ur fine) but you wanted this? grinding on my leg while i was trying to work? you deserve this

very much a brat tamer. doesn't like an extremely submissive partner, he wants you to have some teeth with him, push back a little. it just makes it that much more fun to break you

i cannot stress how many photos/videos this man takes of you. HUGE diy porn guy. if he holds down on his phone background, it's a picture of you with his dick down your throat. look so pretty like this, with my cum all over your face. just one more picture, okay? now smile for me

dacryphilia. 2000% sure that he's into dacryphilia. again it goes hand in hand with the overstimulation thing. he just wants to mentally break you

marking fs. like you have bruises and hickeys all over you after every time you sleep together. literally even if it's just a one night stand, eren has to let people know you were his, even if it was just for the night

breedingkinkbreedingkinkbreedingkink. that's all i'll say about that.

absolutely develops a lactation kink once you're pregnant. everything about your pregnant body fascinates him

would totally let you dom him, just once or twice to get a feel for it. it's a little entertaining to him, how you try and hold him down, but you end up bringing him close to tears and he escapes the ropes you've tied him up in, and now you're really in for it

Jean

orgasm denial. look, out of the two, eren's actually the softer dom if you look into it, because he gives you what you want to an excess.

not jean. he loves to set little rules for you (no panties when you're out at dinner, no masturbating while he's gone on a long trip unless he asks you for a video) and secretly, he loves when you fall short.

just something about bringing you right up to the edge over and over again and then listening to you cry and whine when he takes it back from you really does it for him

also a dacryphilia guy, but the opposite side of the coin from eren. he wants you crying for him, begging him to help you because you're so strung out after the fifth time he's edged you

i actually see jean being into the rougher stuff more than eren- choking, impact play, etc. he loves to push you to your limits and see how much you can take

DEGRADATION. jean strikes me as such a degradation guy. bc you're his little princess, sure, but once the bedroom door shuts, what gets him hard is how you beg for him, reduced to nothing but a needy, whiny little thing after only a few minutes of teasing. "wow, you're that desperate for me? fucking pitiful, thought i taught you better. you can have it down your throat, or not at all. what sounds better?"

also really heavy on the breeding kink, but almost in a freaky, possessive way tbh. tells you he wants to knock you up so everyone knows that he takes you home and fucks you. 10/10 recommend.

cockwarming. jean is such a cockwarming guy and i will literally never argue this point. he's all about having all of you for himself, loves to cum in you and just snuggle after, not pulling out or anything.

also uses it to deny you. will make you sit in his lap, nestled deep inside of you, and like, read him a book or tell him about your day while you whimper and whine and try to move your hips

free use. again, one of those things i don't feel like i need to elaborate on.

this made me sweat. like panting in my bed. thank u tiff u have really fucked us all up with this one!!!!!

[t0jisd0ll]

11:11

genre: angst (no comfort)

pairing: gojo x gn! reader

warnings: cheating, crying, basically sad stuff (also crap writing skjs), gojo is his own warning lol.

word count: 1.3k

Your whole life was starting to come undone.

Even though you had only realized this when Gojo had thrown his engagement ring at your face and had left you standing alone in your apartment, the problems had started way before.

It would have been a month or two so to say?  Gojo had started to behave strangely at home. It was unlike his normal cheerful personality, especially when he was around you. You didn't take it to heart though, it was probably just from the stress of work, right?

That’s where you were wrong.

Earlier that day, one of Gojo’s coworkers, who was also your close friend, told you that Gojo was leaving the office a couple of times, with a pretty lady in his arms. From what your friend could tell, they seemed pretty intimate.

You felt your heart shatter.

After what felt like hours and hours of thinking and crying, you decided to call Gojo and ask him when he was getting home. He replied curtly that he would get home in a bit and hung up. Before he did, you could swear that you heard some female voice call out his name in the background.

Gojo came an hour after you had made the call. So much for coming in a bit, you thought to yourself. It had been a good time for you to think about whether you wanted to ask him about this or not.

But after seeing him walk in casually with slightly ruffled hair, a faint scent of flowery perfume and a not-so-well-hidden lipstick stain on the collar of his shirt, you knew you had to.

“Where have you been? You asked calmly, trying to not give into the urge of slapping the man right across the face.

“A business meeting.” He replied shortly, without even meeting you in the eyes. “Then would you care to explain that stain on your collar?” You questioned, finally turning around to face him properly, right in time to see him still and his expression turned to dread.

“Ah, it’s nothing like that, don’t– ” 

“Nanami already told me everything about you and this woman.” You interrupted, the anger rising within you.

“What about it then? I have nothing to hide now.” He replied nonchalantly. 

You have to admit, you were quite surprised at how quickly his demeanour shifted. 

“How can you say that so casually? You were cheating on me!” You screamed looking at him right in the eyes. 

“Won't you look at that, you finally figured it out?” Gojo exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

“But… why?” You asked, feeling the tears build up for what could have been the umpteenth time that day. 

“Well it's quite simple really, you got quite boring and she was much more fun. It’s pretty obvious if you would even try to think with that dumb little brain of yours. ” Gojo stated. Each word of his felt like a needle piercing your heart in the slowest, most excruciating way possible, making you numb.

“Then why on Earth would you propose to me? Why would you tell me that you loved me so many times? Just to do this? Where was the man I truly wanted? Who loved me and cared for me?” You screamed, feeling hot tears flow down your cheeks.

“That man is long gone. Not everyone gets what they want after all.” He replied.

Gojo Saturo, the man who was supposed to be the love of your life, to stay with you for all eternity, then proceeded to take off his engagement ring and toss it at your face and walked out of the apartment you shared.

This entire ordeal is what brought you to your current predicament.

Your knees felt weak as you slid onto the floor, sobbing hard.

This wasn’t the man you knew and loved. Gojo was right, he was long gone. You sadly stared at the ring lying on the floor next to you. Maybe the both of you were never meant to be. You just didn’t think that it would have to end like this.

You looked at the clock. It was 11:11 PM. You sighed to yourself and lifted yourself. You didn’t deserve this, you thought to yourself

You had to move on, as he did with so much ease.

Packing a few essentials into a small duffel bag, you wrote a note for Gojo, and placed it on the kitchen counter, along with the ring he had thrown at you. Taking a deep breath, you took the ring on your finger off and placed it next to his.

Picking up your duffel bag, you left that apartment once and for all.

Gojo has a nagging feeling that something was wrong. He had been going at a speed of 90 kilometres per hour on a highway road in the middle of the night. Surely that couldn’t be too dangerous, right?

He should have watched where he was going.

If he had, he would have noticed that a huge van was coming at a high speed right in front of him.

Do you know those moments when your life flashed in front of your eyes? That is exactly what happened to Gojo. It felt like a really old movie.

Almost all of the slides were memories of you. 

With some reflex and luck, he had managed to turn his car with just a large scratch. He recollected his thoughts while the van driver swore at him.

What has he done?

Completely ignoring the near-death situation he was in, Gojo took a U-turn and drove even faster back to his apartment. 

When he reached, the door was left ajar. He called out your name to no avail and searched all the rooms in vain.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw a note on the tabletop, beneath two rings. He picked up the note, and it read–

‘Dear Gojo,

After a lot of thinking, I’ve decided that you are right. You are no longer the man I once knew and loved. I’ve decided to come to terms with that fact, which is why I have written this letter. I highly doubt that we’ll ever meet again.

I hope you live a good life henceforth.’

Tears started to fall from his eyes as the paper crumpled in his hands.

He won’t be able to fix this. Not anymore.

Five years later…

Gojo certainly wasn’t doing well. His business was slowly starting to fall apart and it turns out that the chick he was with was only there for the money.

Every day had become a monotonous routine. There was no one else at home to bring joy to his life. Not since you had left. A single day hadn’t gone by when he didn’t regret his actions. It was slowly eating him apart, bit by bit.

He was at the local grocery store, getting some supplies, when he heard a familiar voice.

No, it couldn’t be.

He turned around to see none other than his former lover and fiance, you. You hadn’t seen him yet though, you were happily chatting with another person. 

You looked the same as the day you left him, albeit you were so much happier with that woman. He saw that the both of you were holding hands. Then, a small boy of about three or four years came running up happily to you.

Oh.

That was when your eyes met.

To say that your heart stopped for a hot second was an understatement.

Gojo looked so disheveled and undone that you could barely tell that it was him at first glance. You found yourself to be able to give him nothing more than a tight-lipped smile, as you walked away with your partner and child in your arms.

Gojo just stood there, processing everything he just saw.

It looked like people did get what they wanted after all.

You had your dream, and he was left alone.

With his broken heart.

© t0jisd0ll on tumblr. Please do not steal my work as I spend time and and I take genuine effort to do them.

[corrodedcoughin]

it's been a long day, hell it's be a long week, long month, long life. Steve is driving home from work and somebody pulls out in front of him, making him break suddenly and leading the other driver to honking their horn at him.

For some unknown reason, this is the thing that breaks Steve Harrington. He's had a swirl of background thoughts going through his brain for weeks, they aren't anything new. Nothing he hasn't heard or thought before, but they just get so loud, so overwhelmingly loud and overbearing.

Before he knows it the tears are trailing down his face as he drives, he doesn't wipe them away, know there's no point when they aren't going to stop. Suddenly all the thoughts and feelings he's pushed down are right in front of him and he feels like he's drowning. Steve lets himself wallow, lets himself be swallowed by his emotions.

Truthfully, he loves looking after people, feels like if he can't do anything else, he can make sure the people around him feel cared for. He puts immense effort into everything he does for them, checks in with them, always goes the extra mile to makes birthdays and Christmas gifts absolutely perfect. He wants everyone to feel like they are listened to but the thing is, Steve has never experienced that feeling himself.

He bends over backwards to run around giving lifts, fitting his schedule around other and caring so, so much. And he doesn't mean to sound so selfish, but the thing is it hurts, it hurts more than he can possibly explain, he feels hollowed out and so inexplicably lonely. He's in this small town and he doesn't really think he wants to move but what else is he going to do with his life? Everyone else is going to leave and he's going to be left behind, he's never going to find love in this place and that's one thing he is desperate for. He wants to feel loved, he wants to feel like he is a priority to someone, like he matters, like he's special. God he's so heartbreakingly lonely.

The tears are streaming thick and fast, he has to pull over to let the body wracking sob rip through him. He's never going to tell anyone he feels this way, can't let his friends know about the emptiness he feels inside, that he loves them fiercely in hopes that it will fill this deep and dark void. He loves that he can make his friends happy, it's the one thing that keeps him going through it all, the only thing that makes him think this is all worthwhile.

He just aches so intensely, right in his bones, in his soul. He knows his friends love him but he can't internalise it, he's heard people say he matters but he doesn't know how to assimilate the statement into his being. He feels disgusting for thinking these thoughts, bad and mean and self-centered and greedy for something he doesn't deserve but he can't stop himself which only perpetuates the cycle. He hates himself so intensely in that moment, stronger than usual, hates himself so overwhelmingly he feels like he can't breathe.

But he catches the time on the dashboard as he leans his head back against the headrest, sees that it's close to pick up time for Dustin, Lucas and Erika. He wipes his face, takes a deep lungful of air, flips the car indicator up and gets ready to be Steve Harrington again.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Oh, Edmundo, you enigma.

Edmundo Diaz's love life has left 911 viewers, or at least some, scratching their heads for six seasons.

If Buck and Natalia began seeing each other before Eddie even asked Marisol on a date, and it seems Buck and Natalia were not a long-term couple based on the Eddie's verbiage and snarkiness after Buck admits they broke up then just how long was Eddie dating Marisol before he asked that woman to move in?

Bobby called Buck out for finding himself in relationships without knowing how he got there. I think Bobby needs to give Eddie the same speech. Let's look at the history:

Shannon hits on him. He accepts. She gets pregnant. They marry. I am still not convinced Eddie was in love with her. I think he loved her in some way, but not that way. After they had Christopher, he loved her as the mother of his child. That's it.

He introduced Ana to Christopher quickly. Remember, she took care of Christopher during the blackout. So, we know Eddie has a history of pushing women into the role of partner/parent much too soon.

Marisol was helping him supervise Christopher's dates and being asked to move in within what may be a few months? Why? Based on canon, it is obvious Eddie knew next to nothing about Marisol other than she would babysit Christopher and when Christopher was away they could play.

We all talk about Buck's issues, but Eddie's romantic history puts the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Everything we know about Eddie's romantic history is one giant crimson flag. He has never pursued a woman for normal reasons, such as thinking she is pretty, liking her personality, or just plain attraction. The woman either pursued him or made it clear they were interested if he wanted them. (They were thirsty. Remember that parent-teacher conference with Ana?) Even before he met his blind dates he knew it wouldn't work out. How do you know the person isn't your type before you ever meet them? When he reached the point of moving from casual to focused with Ana and Marisol, he found a reason to run. Every time. He even admits he used the military to escape his wife and son.

Eddie's behavior is not that of the usual heterosexual, allosexual man in his teens, twenties, and thirties that you encounter. The man NEVER looks at women and he is surrounded by beautiful women. He only pays attention when a woman blatantly hits on him, or someone tells him he should be pursuing a woman. We've seen Chimney, Buck, and Bobby turn their heads for a woman and flirt, but never Eddie.

I think there are only a few possible reasons Eddie's behavior is odd.

He's demisexual. He only experiences true attraction once an emotional bond has been created. That may explain why his "attraction" to Shannon endured, even in the face of all of the evidence that they were terrible together. They were friends first. Personally, I think she was his comfort zone. He knew her and being with her would give Christopher the family he thought his son deserved.

He's asexual. I don't think that is the case. I think he enjoys intimacy, but getting to the point of genuine enjoyment and connection is not happening with the women he dates.

He's not into women but doesn't know or doesn't want to know. This is a very real possibility. Eddie may not realize being into men is an option. His background may have prevented it from being an option in the past. When you consider where he was raised, the doctrine of his faith back then, his career path, etc., being gay may never have been an option. So, he forced himself to find women he could make an attempt to build a life with, he actively repressed his real attraction, or he just didn't know he was into men. It would explain why he feels he is "performing" on dates with women and how he knew before the date they weren't his type.

Eddie is not the stable guy who has his stuff together. Eddie and Buck bonded because they are both messes. Buck is just open with how messed up he is. Eddie hides it.

(I have numerous allosexual, heterosexual male figures in my life and have had them in my life forever. Please believe me when I tell you I know more about how they behave and think than I ever wanted to. Sometimes, when they were sharing way more than I wanted to hear, I was hoping the neuralizer from MIB would suddenly become real.)

[papastarion]

Papastarion Headcanons Pt. 3

Uh-oh! She’s at it again! (But you’re here, too, so what does that say about you, hm? 😂) This one feels very long and just as indulgent as all the others, so strap in.

•Their kids as a collective are affectionately known as “the Brood.”

•In my canon, they have four boys and one girl by the time they’re finished having children, on top of their two adopted daughters. So far, I’ve named three of the boys. In order: Nero, Eldritch (“El”), and Apolinary (“Arry”), Their last biological child is their third daughter: Phaedra (“Phae.”) I’ve got one more boy left to name, but I’m being indecisive. :)

•Naming the kids is a group effort. They’ll take input from literally anyone. Astarion even asked Petras once. (Never again.) They didn’t think they’d make it this far, they didn’t discuss baby names or dream them up before there were babies to be named. Thea’s wanted kids her whole life, assumed she would never get the chance, and never once had a single name ready to go just in case. She thought it would come to her when the time came. (Spoilers, babe: it did not.)

•Gale is not allowed participating in any naming discussions after suggesting Telemachus for their first child. He considers this a fair point in hindsight. He gets to keep his uncle privileges, though, and he loves all his honorary nieces and nephews just as much as the other members of their little troupe do.

•Karlach (once her engine’s fixed) thinks they should all be named Karlach. When it seems impossible to agree on a name or come up with one at all, it is very tempting.

•Astarion and Thea didn’t expect it to be possible to have any biological children, but once they adopt the girls, and then when Nero comes along, they both discuss what they would like their family to look like. Astarion strikes me as an only child, and Thea came from a very messed up family dynamic (Bhaal aside), and they mutually agree they wouldn’t mind having a bigger family, if it works out. (“Your eyes? My hair? Our genetics would be lethal, love.”)

•For all the hassle, they always manage to land on the perfect name, in Astarion’s very unhumble opinion. And for all the hassle, too, he wouldn’t trade those nights where Thea can’t sleep because she’s thinking too much or can’t get comfortable where they’ll nestle up together and talk over their options while feeling this poor person they can’t name move around.

•They didn’t want to name their kids after anyone, either. There are precious few people between them who deserve that honor, and they mutually agree it feels right to give their children names unencumbered by any legacy.

•Astarion’s parents are very much alive in my mind. For personal context: his father is a high elf and his mother is a wood elf, bit of a star-crossed thing going on with their backgrounds. His father is a highly-esteemed magistrate named Gildersleeve but he goes by Sly, his mother is a woman named Orianna who loves nothing more than playing high society while the nobility of Baldur’s Gate are scandalized by her. After Astarion’s death, they both became very withdrawn from social activity, though Sly continued his council duties. They never thought they would know what happened to their son after his murder, let alone that he would come home to them again, married, and that they would be grandparents in the not too distant future.

•They dote on their grandchildren, adopted and blood alike. There’s no difference to them. More than once, Sly has walked into a day of legal work with a six month old dhampir on his hips because Thea and Astarion needed a babysitter, and what’s he going to do? Not spend time with one of his grandkids? Not Gildersleeve.

•Astarion has learned how to do hair over the course of his life and unlife. He would do his sisters’ after Cazador’s torment left their hands shaking and unable to properly finesse their braids back into place before entertaining a new guest. He picked up even more styles from Thea and their first adopted daughter along their little tadpole adventure. So, of course, he helps take care of his kiddos hair, too. There are full on (affectionate) fights about who can do it the best.

•Obviously not one for rules or social standards, Astarion is absolutely there for each labor and delivery. He doesn’t like seeing Thea in pain (anymore), but her discomfort outweighs his own. He and Thea are partners, equals in all things. The very least he can do for her is be by her side, if she wants him there (and she absolutely does), and the rest of the world can be damned. It’s a stupid “rule,” in his opinion, anyway.

•He watches all five kids come into this world he had a small hand in saving, and he’s grateful everyday that some trick of fate found him deserving of such an honor. He’ll always have his scars and his nightmares, but every last night spend under Cazador’s thumb is a little more distant any time he holds little Nero, and when he gets to teach El how to read, and when Mina laughs, when Thea asks for his hand so he can feel one kick. They’re all priceless to him, worth every terrible night.

•On a lighter note to end this one: Astarion is the one who patches up any clothes that get torn in the throes of playing (or teething.) He likes to put little inscriptions in hems for the kids to find, because he’s turned into a sentimental and mushy fool, and he doesn’t mind a bit.

[wanderersbell]

under the mistletoe

wanderer x gn!reader

genre: fluff, modern!au

warnings: none

word count: 1467

a/n: merry christmas eve everyone! this is my early present for u (´,,•ω•,,)♡ i know this has already been done before but i couldn't resist - also wanderer goes by kuni in this and he deserves a million kisses. enjoy!

for somebody who swears they don’t even like christmas that much, kuni cannot help but feel appalled by the amount of ‘holiday cheer’ you’ve let loose in the apartment today. 

just watching you run around the place for hours stringing up lights and setting out other various decorations has begun to make him feel tired, and all he’s had to do so far is help out with handing you thumbtacks and holding you steady on the step ladder a few times. 

tinsel, a wreath, and even two stockings for each of you hang from the walls that were plain just this morning, and the faint sound of christmas music from the tv has been going for so long that kuni swears he’s heard the playlist repeat twice already. every time he offers to help, you shoo him away and insist you need to do it a certain way, so he stopped trying a while ago and has since been standing back and slowly but surely losing his patience with nothing to do. 

his hands are itching with the desire to help with something while you hang tiny ornaments on the miniature tree that sits at the kitchen counter, and it’s not long before he loses the internal battle to his restlessness. 

“those ornaments are hideous.” kuni comments dryly from behind you. leaning back into his chest until his chin is resting over your shoulder, you snort lightly at his words and start tugging a broken hook out of an ornament. 

“do you need something to do?” you ask teasingly. he can feel your shoulders shaking with silent laughter against him and hums noncommittally, wrapping his arms around your waist while you try to work a new hook through the tiny glass ball. 

“do you want to check the box in the closet for my christmas candles then? i thought i had them under the sink but they weren’t-“ before you can even finish explaining, kuni detaches himself from your back and briskly strides down the hallway, ready to be the best damn candle-finder there ever was. he can hear you chuckling under your breath as he goes but pays no mind to it as he yanks open the closet door. 

the candles are indeed tucked nicely away in a box buried under a pile of coats, so he takes his time carefully hanging them all back up on the rack before tucking the heavy jars into his arms to bring back to you. they rattle as he walk in time with the bells in the background music and kuni can already hear the joke you’re about to make in his head before he rounds the corner. 

“no way, it’s the real santa in the flesh!” you jokingly gush, exactly the way he expected you would, and he has to fight the urge to smile. 

“ho ho ho,” he drawls in a bland tone while depositing them on the counter in front of you. yet your attention is still on the small tree, and kuni can’t help but feel slightly irked by its existence at the moment. 

your brows are drawn together in concentration while you continue trying to fix the stubborn hook and try as he might, kuni only lasts 30 grueling seconds before he scoffs and outstretches his hand. 

“let me do it.” 

with a tiny defeated pout that absolutely does not make his stomach flutter, you give him the ornament and lean over the counter with your chin in your hands to watch him effortlessly bend the hook into place and secure it. 

kuni can’t help but smile smugly at the equal parts irritated and impressed look on your face, but nearly regrets it a moment later when you slide the rest of the balls over to him and stand up. 

“will you do the rest of them? please?” you ask, so sweetly that it nearly gives him a cavity. heaving a dramatic sigh but inwardly relieved to have something to do finally, kuni picks up the next one and starts working on it. “fine, i guess.” 

he can see you reach over to pull out a stool from the corner of his eye, but you pause midway and retract your hand. “actually,” you start, a thoughtful look passing over your face. “i forgot something else, i’ll be right back.” 

making a small sound of acknowledgement in response, too focused on the task at hand, kuni gets a total of ten ornaments done before he eventually realizes you still haven’t come back, and a suspicious feeling creeps over him at the complete silence from down the hall where you disappeared. 

you’re certainly not quiet when you look for things, and he hasn’t heard the sound of anything breaking or the bathroom door being closed, so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you’re up to something. 

hesitantly, he puts the glass ball down and exits the kitchen to investigate your whereabouts. the door is cracked open when he approaches your shared bedroom, and he nearly jumps in surprise when he finds you standing off to the side of the threshold with a mischievous look plastered all over your face. 

“jesus-“ kuni gasps, giving you a half-assed glare. you say nothing, only continuing to stare at him, and it pulls an almost alarmed frown out of him. 

“what were you doing, why are you looking at me like that?” he asks cautiously. 

still you remain silent, but your eyes momentarily flick somewhere above him before going back to his indigo ones and he’s quick to tilt his head back and follow your line of sight.  

there, taped haphazardly above the door frame, hangs a single mistletoe with a red ribbon tied around the stem. there’s a tiny silver bell hot-glued to the side that he remembers seeing you pull off an ornament and hide in your pocket earlier, which he had chosen to ignore. 

when he snaps his head back down he’s met with your breathtaking dreadful smile and a hot white flash of embarrassment rushes from his ears all the way to his feet, painting his cheeks with a soft flush that only deepens when you close the small distance and bring your hand up to cup the side of his face.

“this is what you forgot?” kuni mumbles, hands instinctively finding their way to your sides where they rest firmly. you giggle quietly and nod, bringing your other hand up until you’re cradling his face so tenderly that his heart skips a few beats. your eyelashes flutter softly with anticipation, and he feels entranced by your meaningful lidded gaze. 

“mhm. and just like i predicted, you came looking for me and got caught in my trap.” your eyes crinkle with mirth when you say this and kuni swears he almost forgets how to speak for a moment. 

“you don’t need such a lame excuse to kiss me.” he huffs, unintentionally leaning into your touch. 

“no, i don’t.” you agree airily. “but i’d never pass up the perfect opportunity to do so.”

unable to handle the weight of your caring eyes any longer, kuni leans forward and catches your lips in a gentle kiss. he’s hyper aware of the way your thumbs brush over his cheekbones and the feeling of your body pressed against his. every nerve in his body lights up all at once where you’re connected as your lips slide together in an adoring dance. 

you’re so warm and grounding against him that he never wants it to end, prolonging the kiss as much as he can until you finally have to pull away for air. your warm breath fans across his face as you catch your breath, faces still so close together that your noses brush. 

when his eyes meet yours, they give away everything he feels in that moment, overflowing with reverence and awe. your left hand slowly trails up the side of his face until you’re running your fingers through his hair, brushing his dark bangs out of his eyes and behind his ear. he hums contentedly at the feeling of your nails against his scalp and isn’t even thinking when he turns his head to the side to press a searing kiss against your palm. 

this time, you’re the one who’s blushing, and the fondness bleeding through your gaze burns itself into his memory for years to come. 

“i have a few more,” you whisper against his lips after pressing another soft peck against them. “wanna help me put them up?”

the intention behind your question doesn’t get lost on him, and kuni has to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths to keep himself from melting into a love struck puddle on the spot. 

he definitely won’t be letting you forget the mistletoe next year.

[girl-next-door-writes]

I Wish I Had That

Characters: Steven Grant x reader. Marc Spector x reader

Summary: Marc has found himself a girlfriend, and Steven is happy for him, he really is. Problem is, Steven wishes he’d met her first.

Word Count: 1083 words

Prompt: Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield

A/N: This is my last one for the amazingly wonderful @caplanbuckybarnes and the fabulous #cappys decades challenge. I’ve had so much fun writing these and I hope you’ve enjoyed them just as much.

Life is rarely simple or easy. This is especially true when there’s three of you sharing one body, but it seemed to be working. There were the occasional hiccups, but generally, the three of them were now in a routine and it worked for them. That was right up to the point where it didn’t.

Steven felt positively awful. He and Marc were close, like brothers, they had gone through so much together and although there were times he wished he was brave like Marc, or strong like him, he had never felt jealous. Now that was all he felt, and it was eating him up. Lately, something had changed between them, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. Marc had met you, wonderful, stunning, brilliant you, and Steven wished he’d met you first.

He tried his best to hold back these feelings, the jealousy, the anger, the frustration, and for the most part he managed just fine. Steven was happy for Marc. Yeah, he really was. Marc deserved to be loved, to have someone in his life who understood him and helped push back all the darkness. So, Steven played along with the charade, lurking in the background whenever the two of you were together. At first he claimed it was to make sure you were suitable for Marc, that you weren’t going to hurt him. It certainly wasn’t because he wanted to see you, to imagine you laughing at his jokes rather than Marc’s.

The sparkle in your eyes when you looked up at Marc, the softness in your smile, the way the two of you found pet names for each other, all sent Steven into a tailspin. You were so adorably cute together and Steven felt a little grubby listening in. Even more so when your relationship progressed and the sweet nothings now included incredibly graphic descriptions of what you wanted to do to each other. Those moments, when you whispered into Marc’s ear, sent a shiver of desire through Steven, and it took everything he had not to push himself to front and confess his undying love and devotion to you. That was something he could never do. Suddenly appearing like that would definitely scare you off, and then he would never see you again. No, it was best to love you from this distance than lose you forever.  

Steven stared at Marc from the bathroom mirror, his heart was pounding, and he felt exposed in some way. “Wh- what do you mean, mate?” He asked, hoping he sounded nonchalant and not terrified.

“I mean, I’ve told her about you both, and she wants to meet you. Look, I get it if you don’t want to do this, but, I really like her. I’ve not felt like this in a long time and-“

“We will do this for you.” Jake huffed, not wanting to listen to all the smushy feelings.

“Steven?”

“Yeah. Yeah, course.” He nodded, giving Marc a tight smile.

“Great. Okay, so she’s coming over and I thought it might be best if she hung out with Steven first. No offence Jake, but you can be a little intense.”

So, it was decided. Steven was going to spend the evening with you. Oh god, he was going to spend the evening with you! Panic washed over him and if he had been in charge of the body he’d have been in the throes of a panic attack. How the hell was he going to be that close to you, be able to touch you, and not give in to his feelings? He had to hold it together, for all their sakes. This was his chance to impress you, his one and only shot.

Things got off to a rocky start. Marc had failed to tell you that Steven would be the one greeting you, and so when he opened the door, you had kissed him. Your lips were warm and soft against his, and Steven’s heart began to race. His eyes fluttered closed, and his hands had come to rest on your hips, itching to pull you closer, to drag you into the apartment and push you up against the door and… You pulled back from him, one eyebrow raised and a confused look on your face. You had been able to tell something was different, you had known he wasn’t Marc, and he gave you a sheepish smile.

“Hi, love. Guess you weren’t expectin’ me. I’m Steven. Steven with a v. Pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Fuck. Shit. Sorry. Damn it. I am so sorry, Steven.” You held your hands up as you stepped back from him, worried that you’d offended him when nothing could have been further from the truth.

“’s ok. Quite a nice way to say hello. Can see why Marc likes it.” You had chuckled at that and a sense of pride bloomed in his chest. He had been responsible for your smile, not Marc, that one was for him. 

The rest of the evening went well. The two of you had eaten and watched a documentary on Ancient Egypt. Steven had only corrected the details a handful of times, and every time he did, you had turned to look at him, giving him your full attention. Each time you did that it caused a heat to rise up the back of his neck and over his face.

There was a nervous energy between the two of you, but Steven found spending time in your company so easy and familiar. That was possibly because he’d spied on so many moments between you and Marc, but he wanted to believe that it was because you liked him. If he had met you first then it would be him that you loved, not Marc. It would have been Marc sitting here wishing he could make a move and Steven knowing he was the one taking you to bed that evening. But you’d met Marc first and there was no changing that, no matter how much Steven wanted you.

In the early hours of the morning as you lay asleep next to Marc, Steven slipped in, fronting for a few minutes to just admire you. Brushing his fingertips lightly over your cheek, he leaned down and ghosted his lips over yours, remembering the mistaken kiss earlier. Maybe Marc would be willing to share you. Maybe you would be willing to be shared. Right now though, you were Marc’s girl and Steven could only wish he had something like that.

[the-jesus-pill]

i was never religious, but i find myself struggling with obsessive feelings of guilt anyway. this is an issue i know is common among people raised christian, especially catholics, so i was wondering if you might have any resources to help unlearn that kind of thing!

It's really sad how guilt is such a common thing. I think everyone has it, religious or not and it's a problem that lies deep in society. You're right, a lot of it is due to religion and in many, many cultures, religion shape society as well.

Obsessive guilt, especially when it's without cause, can often stem from anxiety. We're taught that feeling guilty is supposed to teach us something, to show us where we fucked up and that can make the anxiety worse because if we're feeling guilty then we must've done something, right?

But a good practice when you're feeling overwhelmed is asking yourself, who is this helping?

Is it motivating you to fix anything? Or is it crippling you? Does anyone benefit from you feeling guilty right now? Usually the answer is no. You are not making the world a better place by feeling like shit.

And you can tell yourself its okay to let go of these feelings or ignore them. They're not helpful, they're not protecting you and you have permission to distract yourself until they go away. Nothing bad will happen when you do.

Even if you're feeling guilty over things you DID do, something that happened a long time ago or something you already apologized/made up for. It's in the past and it's likely the other person has already moved on and/or forgiven you. Again, not useful guilt, it's only hurting you and you can move on with your life.

Anxious thoughts are often like intrusive thoughts, they get stuck and the more attention you give them the stronger they can get.

Here's what has helped me

Saying out loud "stop" or "I'm not going to be thinking about that" when I start to spiral. It takes the situation out of your head. Same with a clap or a snap or just a loud exhale. Bring yourself back into your body, aka ground yourself when you feel like you're spiraling into an anxiety or guilt fueled episode.

Talking it out with myself. Why do I feel guilty? Is this reasonable? Can I fix anything? What do I expect myself to do? Am I trying to punish myself? Who is this helping?

Distracting myself. I recommend media that will actively engage you instead of media that you put on for background noise.

Standing up for yourself. Tell yourself you're trying your best and you need to get off your case about it. Tell your guilt to stop being an asshole, like what does it want you to do? You're human and you can't do everything right.

Journaling - a cliché but hear me out. When you have obsessive thoughts, it helps to get them out of your head and put them somewhere else. This is why people recommend talking to friends or a therapist, for example. But that's not always possible so you can take a pen and you dont have to do anything fancy. You dont have to make it pretty, you can just write, "I'm feeling guilty/I can't stop thinking about x/I have these thoughts and they make me feel x" and then close the journal and do something else.

You are not morally obligated to feel guilty for the rest of your life and it will not make the world a better place or you a better person. You can just let it go.

It's easier said than done but with practice it really works.

I hope some of this advice helped you! Good luck! You deserve to have a happy and carefree life and it IS possible! You're strong enough to unlearn what hurts you.