#three hours. i was so annoyed. i was like ‘do you regret setting off this early now’ he has the audacity to say no

[fingertipsmp3]

People who get annoyed with me for always wanting to be on time & being anxious about being late to stuff would not last two seconds with my family tbh

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[thehusbandoden]

You Flinch During an Argument -Kirishima Eijiro

A/n: this took me way too long, so sorry for the wait 🥺🥺

Holy crap this is long.. hope you enjoy this madness <33

General info:

Genre: angst to fluff/comfort // WC: 2,516

Warnings!: Arguing, one sided argument, mean reader, insecurity, self hate, slight self harm (grabbing at hair), mention of bullies, crying, flinching, and a lot of apologizing. Please let me know if I miss any! <3

Dabi | Hawks | Todoroki Shoto | Bakugo Katsuki | Midoriya Izuku | Shigaraki Tomura | Aizawa Shota | Amajiki Tamaki | Kirishima Eijiro | Shinso Hitoshi

(it took forever to find this specific gif 💔)

"Y/n- I said that I was sorrry!"

"And I said I don't care anymore!"

"Y/n, please! You're being unreasonable!"

"I'm being unreasonable?! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ALMOST THREE MONTHS - YOU ARE SUCH A-"

"Y/n, calm down, you don’t want to say something you'll regret."

"You suck. You're a pig headed, selfish, work obsessed, slobby, jerk."

Kirishima was silent as you insulted him, part of him feeling like he deserved it all.

"Okay, y/n, I understand that I screwed up. And I know that I can't make it all better overnight, but please. You can not drive right now."

"And why not? It's not like I'm under any influence."

"Y/n, it's dark and rainy. That, plus your anger- is a sure way to kill both of us. I can not live without you, Pebble."

"Do not call me that." You seethe, glaring up at your redheaded husband.

Heart aching, Kirishima desperately thought of a way to keep you here with him, not knowing how he would cope if he lost you due to some stupid argument about cleaning.

"J-just stay here tonight. You can sleep in our bed, and I'll sleep downstairs. I won't talk to you, and if you still want to go in the morning, I won't stop you. If you're still angry, Ochako can come pick you up."

Considering the idea, you huff as you cross your arms, glaring at Kiri.

"Fine.. but I have a few conditions. On top of not talking to me, you will not touch, nor look at me. Deal?"

"If you hand me your keys, deal."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Or at least put them somewhere visible."

"Fine, deal."

"Deal." Kiri agreed, shaking your outstretched hand.

~

After you walked in Kiri waited a minute or so before following pursuit, closing and locking the front door with a relieved sigh- simply happy that you agreed on staying here for tonight.

After picking up the living room and washing the dishes, Kirishima deemed it okay to go upstairs to swiftly get ready for bed.

As Eijiro thought about your side of the argument his heart started weighing him down with guilt.

He truly didn't mean to be such a jerk. He didn't think about how overworked and exhausted you were.

In his head, he was going above and beyond picking up after himself, doing the dishes every other day, taking out the trash, folding both his clothes and the fitted sheets, and cooking breakfast almost every morning. He didn't think about the other household chores, how much work caring for the house took, nor how long and hard you worked on top of the house.

You worked shorter hours then he did, that's true, but you still worked hard and desperately tried to be patient with him. For over a month you've been gently asking him to help out more or do this and that for you.

When you asked him to do a specific thing he truly did try his best to get it done as soon as possible. Pausing his game to take out the trash, setting reminders to switch the laundry on his days off, scrubbing pots and pans late at night, and watering the plants most every morning before work.

But he didn't understand when you asked him to 'do more', he thought that he was doing a lot more than average, totally forgetting to consider that you work too and he's not the sole provider.

You had gotten really annoyed with how much you did in the house and how little he did in comparison, and confronted him once again after he got home from work.

He was quite confused and defended himself, not really seeing your side of things. It took ten minutes of arguing back and forth to actually understand your side of things, realizing that due to you both providing you both needed to tend to the house.

Guilt consumed him as he attempted to apologize again and again yet you wouldn't let him talk. After twenty minutes of this one sidedness you got angry and stormed out, telling him that you were going to Ochako's house.

Even though Kiri felt extremely guilty, he was mostly relieved that you didn't leave in these conditions, knowing that he wouldn't be able to function if he lost you for good.

Kiri was snapped out of his thoughts due to the tingling feelings of his hands going numb due to the cold water pouring onto them.

Sighing, Kiri turned off the water before sneakily grabbing a spare blanket, his pillow, and a pair of pajama bottoms from your shared bedroom, refusing to look at you as he hurried out of the dark room.

After changing and settling on the couch Kiri simply stared at the ceiling, going over your side of things and realising how much he screwed up and what he could do to change and start to make it up to you.

~~

You jolted awake as a large crashing sound came from downstairs, hurrying out of bed, you readied your quirk in case of a villain.

"Ei..? Is that you?" You call, poking your head out into the kitchen.

"Yeah- sorry for waking you up."

"It's okay.. but what happene-" you froze as you saw Kirishima on the floor, shattered dishware surrounding him.

"Eijiro what the heck!" You exclaim, reaching out your arm to try and help the pro hero.

"I- I was trying to clean.. I'm sorry.."

At the word 'clean' memories of last night flooded your mind, causing you to drop your hand to your side, irritation flooding your senses.

"Oh, so now you're trying to make three months of neglectness and excuses better in one night?"

"N-no! Not at all! I just wanted to start helping out more!"

"It's three months too late for that Eijiro."

"You're being unreasonable-"

"No! What's unreasonable is you and your selfish laziness!"

"I'm trying! We're both new to living together and I didn't understand before!"

"Whatever. Just get up and go. I'll have to clean up and stop by the store before work."

"What- no! I'll clean it up!" Kiri exclaimed, jumping up from the ground, hardening his skin so he wouldn't get cut.

Shards of glass bounced off of Kiri's hardened skin, flying everywhere. Luckily, you were a pro hero, and had the amazing reflexes that came from that line of work. You dived down, avoiding the injury you would've received.

"Y-y/n! Are you okay?!" Kirishima exclaimed, rushing to your side.

Seeing the sudden movement you flinched, body still under alert.

After realizing what happened your heart dropped.

Oh no.

Kirishima was a gentle soul. He cared for you deeply and was always looking for ways to make your life easier and more enjoyable. There is no way he would take this lightly. He would definitely paint a wor-

You were snapped out of your thought process at the sound of a door closing. Panicking, you realized that Kirishima was xgonex.

"Ei!?" You call, hurrying to check for him in the living room, quickly realising that he left. Panicking, you hurry to slip on some slippers before making your way out the door, rushing to Kirishima's truck before he could pull out.

"Ei wait!" You exclaim, putting one hand on the handle of the truck and the other on his window. After looking down at you, he bit his lip before slightly opening the window so he could hear you.

"Go back in the house Pebble.." Kiri whispered, causing your heart to ache in dismay.

"Eijiro- what's wrong? I wasn't scared of you it was a reaction from the-"

"I don't care y/n. You flinched because of me- I- I need some time."

You could feel tears stinging your eyes as you stepped back, biting your lip as you watched Kirishima put the truck in reverse and slowly back out of the driveway, face heavy with hurt.

As soon as the red truck disappeared from sight you broke, running into the house before falling onto the couch, sobbing into a pillow.

The angered words you spat at your sweet, loving Eijiro flashed through your mind as you cried, guilt weighing you down as you remembered Kiri's heart broken face. Your mind started playing against you, shouting at you for your selfish, idiotic words and how you hurt the one person you cared most about.

'He didn't do anything!'

'You stupid little- he was doing his best! He apologized! And yet you treated him so- so horribly due to a few mistakes!'

'He really doesn't derseve you. He deserves someone as patient and loving as he is.'

'He was so heartbroken! You idiot!'

'I bet he's going to find somone better then you. I would't blaim him either.'

Tears rolled down your face as you sat up to stare at a picture of Eijiro on your wedding day. His red eyes were sparkling as he grinned at the camera, feeling nothing but joy and such love for you.

You two met in elementary school. You saved him from some bullies yada yada and instantly became friends. He was in third grade, you were in second. Your grade difference meant that you didn't get to play much, and so you thought of him as one of your temporary friends. The kind that you met at a park, played once, and then forgot about one another the next day.

But he was.. special. There was something about how the older boy's eyes shone when he looked at you, or how strong he seemed even though he was in tears frequently. You quickly found out that he was special. Even compared to your best friend, Sakura Mei.

You admired him for many reasons. For trying to be so strong even though the bullies' mean words brought him to tears, for how kind he wa -giving up his hard earned treat to a little toddler who wanted it at pick-up, sharing his lunch with a kid that was too late to get his own, having shorter turns so the next kid would get it sooner, and helping his teacher whenever and however possible.

You two became best friends and played with each other after school, causing your parents to create a long lasting friendship as well. For years you thought of him as your best friend, but a crush started to form in middle school, causing you to get confused.

Even when Kiri started to get self conscious and have a lot of self doubt, he was always by your side. Scolding you for having any of those thoughts, no matter how small. And so in return you helped him. Helping with training, bringing him food and water, reassuring him when he needed it, and even holding him as he cried. You were the reason he was able to recover so quickly, and afterwards he got into UA highschool, and you followed pursuit the next year.

After eight months of high school he confessed, and that was it. After you graduated he was there to cheer you on the loudest, and seven months later he proposed. The day of your wedding was full of joy, laughter, tears, smiles, and love. A love that made your chest ache in happiness, causing you to smile a little wider, kiss him a little harder, and fall in love a little harder.

Thinking back about it now, your tears came faster as an aching cold spread through your chest, causing the tears to fall faster.

"Eijiro.." you whimper, hugging onto the shark pillow Eijiro insisted on getting for your newly bought home.

It was crazy expensive, but he told you not to worry about it, and that it was "for our future famly".

"Ei.. I'm so sorry!" You cry, grasping your hair in your hands, tugging lightly but knowing not to hurt yourself or Kiri would be upest and worried.

Pawing for your phone, you unlocked the device before calling the contact "Bakubeast".

"What do you need." Bakugo huffed, causing you to whimper softly, catching the hot head's attention.

"Woah woah- do not cry. Crappy hair would kill me."

"I- I- E- Eijiro-" you rasp, having difficulty breathing and getting your point across.

"Hey hey- y/n calm down." Bakugo panicked, his softer tone helpig you calm down.

He was a good friend of both you and Eijiro, so him being kind to you really did help.

"Y/n/n, breathe."

Gasping for air you try to control your breathing, taking one deep breathe after another.

"Atta girl. Keep on breathing for m- for Eijiro."

Calm washed over you as you exhaled, sighing shakily.

"T-thank you." You whisper, causing Bakugo to scoff.

"Yeah yeah- now why are ya crying? Do I need to kicks some a-"

"No. It's me, not him. I'm wondering, is Ei over there? H-he left and I'm worried about him."

"No he hasn't. When did he leave? You do know that I'm like twenty minutes away, right?"

"That's true.. it's only been around ten.."

"I'll call you if he pulls up. But if you don't mind me asking.. what happened?"

"I'm sure Ei will explain.. I really don't wanna talk about it right now.."

"Okay.. well hang in there and call me if you need."

"Yeah.. okay."

"Have a better night, talk to ya later."

"Mhm.. bye.."

~~Kiri's pov~~

Kirishima felt like screaming.

Even though he knew that you weren't scared of him and it was just a reaction from the glass but it still hurt.

After pulling into his best friend's drive way, Eijiro quickly made his way to the door and knocked, wanting the hot head's opinion and seeking comfort.

"What happened to you?" Bakugo scoffed, opening his door as an invitation to come in.

"Can we.. talk?"

"If you make things right between you and your Cry Baby afterwards- then yes."

~~Your pov~~

You sniffled as you clung to Kirishima's pillow, eyes dry and puffy.

It's been an hour since Bakugo texted him that Kirishima was at his place, and you've been waiting for him to return or at least an update.

Your heart ached and you wanted nothing more than to be in Eijiro's arms and forget all about this horrid arugment. What if he didn't want you anymore.. what if-

You jumped out of bed as soon as you heard the door open, sprinting down the stairs to meet your Eijiro.

"Baby!" You exclaim, jumping into Eijiro's arms. Wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, you attacked his shoulders, neck, cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips with kisses.

"I am so sorry! I- I said so many mean things to you and- and-"

"Woah woah Baby- calm down." Eijiro cooed, catching your lips in a kiss to distract you from your worries. "I know.. and I forgive you, so.. could you forgive me?"

"Yes! Yes- I am so sorry for-"

Catching your lips in another kiss, Kiri sat on the couch, holding you in his lap as he kissed you, stealing both his and your complete attention.

Reblogs help spread and support my work therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated<33

Series' masterlist | Kiri's masterlist | Main masterlist | Navigation

Tips <3

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

Sorry again for how late this was.. I hope it wasn't too long :(

[stop-talking]

Win for me <3

Josh Futturman x gender-neutral reader

2.3k words

Tags: 18+ Josh x g!n reader, smut, no use of y/n, slight angst, pre-established relationship, reader is called "babe", porn with (slight) plot, pre-show, handjob & oral (josh recieving), unprotected sex, vague penetration (reader receiving), Josh is a sub, reader is a little whiny & needy as well

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

You wake up to an empty bed. Again.

Squinting, you check the time on the digital clock sitting on your boyfriend's nightstand.

Nearly 2am. Three hours past the time he promised to come to sleep.

You huff in annoyance and throw the blankets off, heading to the door. It's no secret where he is, or what he's doing right now. What he's always doing.

Josh sits on the couch, laughing and chatting with his stupid little internet friends. He hasn't heard you sneak up behind him, not with his headphones on.

For a few moments, you just stand behind the couch, fuming and watching him play whatever game he's been obsessing over lately.

This is, what? The THIRD time in a row? You'd only been dating him around half a year, sure, but damn. When he invites you to sleep over, is it really so crazy to expect him to actually sleep with you?

"Forget about me again?" You finally speak up, placing a hand on his shoulder and startling him so bad he nearly drops his controller.

"Fuck, BABE, don't do that." He cries out, shooting you a quick look of shock and anger while he adjusts his headset.

Seriously? He's just going to leave one ear hanging out and turn right back to his stupid game?

You bite your tongue and take a few breaths to prevent yourself from saying anything you'll regret, but as you stare down at him... you're struck with an idea.

"I know I'm up a little late, sorry." He mumbles, only half paying attention to you as you make your way around the couch.

"It's just- my friends needed me for this raid, thought it would be quick..."

"It's okay." You lie, taking a seat next to him on the couch and trying to keep up a warm demeaner you aren't really feeling.

Josh visibly relaxes at your words, melting back into the couch and leaning against you slightly as he plays his game.

"I figured, if you aren't going to come to bed, I'll just come hang out with you."

He flashes you a quick smile, but it immediately fades as one of his friends shouts something over the line, and he turns back to the TV.

You can only vaguely make out what they're saying to him. Usually it's insults, screaming, or some kind of cry for help. So annoying. Can't he see you need him more?

Josh's eyes go wide as your hand suddenly squeezes his thigh.

"Babe?" He gasps, reaching up to turn off his mic. "What are you doing?"

God, he's so cute when he squirms like that. You move your hand a little higher, giving his inner thigh another solid squeeze.

"Shh, baby. Focus on your game." As you whisper in his ear, you let your hand wander further, brushing against the growing bulge in his pants. Aww, he's so sensitive.

He hesitates for a moment, clearly torn between wanting to play his game and wanting more of... whatever you're about to do to him.

His friends make the decision for him, yelling something through the headset that makes him snap his attention back to the TV.

"Y-yeah, I'm here. Right behind you guys."

You smirk and slide off the couch, settling down on your knees in front of him.

He glances down at you nervously as you spread his legs, trying and failing to maintain composure with his friends on the line.

So fucking cute. You start to grope him through his pants, feeling up and down his hardening cock. His squirming makes it all worth it. Josh Futturman isn't a bad boyfriend, not really. He's just... easily distracted.

Speaking of which... it seems he's finally giving in to your little distraction, because he sets the controller down and reaches to take off his headphones.

"Don't." You grab his wrist firmly, stopping him.

"Keep playing. That's what you want, right? To win your little game?"

He bites his lip as you start aggressively palming his bulge, desperately trying to hold back his usual slew of whimpers and moans.

"I... I don't..."

You shush him, and guide his hand back to the controller.

"You've been playing for hours. No sense in giving up now. Win for me. Can you do that?"

Nodding, he picks up the controller and sinks back onto the couch. His eyes nervously flicker down to look at you, but his attention is still torn between you and his game.

"Your friends still on the line?" You ask, unzipping his jeans and starting to tug them down.

Another nod. He lifts his hips, eager to be undressed.

"Better be quiet then."

"Can't I just-" He reaches up and wraps his hand around the mic, effectively muting himself. "-do this?"

Before you can tell him no, his friends yell something over the line, and his eyes snap back to the TV, absorbed in his game once more.

"I-I got it." He stammers, clearly stressing. A couple beads of sweat drip down his face, and his hair is sticking to his forehead.

"Just play your game... and try not to be too loud."

This is going better than you imagined. His dick is practically jumping in his boxers as you grope him, and all his words are short and clipped as he struggles to maintain composure.

You wait until he's in the middle of a sentence, then lean down and gently bite at his clothed cock. He reacts exactly as you'd hoped, letting out a short yelp that turns into a moan.

"S-sorry. Stubbed my toe..." He mumbles lamely into the mic, giving you a glare that immediately melts away when you rub circles onto his tip.

There's a wet spot beginning to form in his boxers from how much he's leaking. This must be torture for him. Too bad you aren't even close to finished with him yet.

You peel down his boxers, letting his cock spring free. In turn, he slumps a little lower onto the couch, letting out a sharp breath as it slaps against his stomach.

"Just be quiet for me." You whisper, wrapping a hand around his base and taking the tip in your mouth.

As you look up at him through your eyelashes, he meets your gaze, completely frozen. He nearly loses it when you swirl your tongue around his tip, squirming and biting his lip to keep quiet.

It's almost sad that he has to hold back. You've always loved the pathetic little sounds he makes when he's inside you. Oh well, this is what he gets for ignoring you all the damn time.

Fueled by a little bit of anger and more than a little lust, you start to bob your head, lips meeting the top of your fist.

He lets out a shaky breath, placing a hand on the back of your head in a desperate attempt to pull you down further.

That's not right. He should be playing his game. You pull off of his dick slowly, making a lewd popping sound.

"Have you won for me yet?" You tease, meeting his eyes and moving your hand up and down his spit-covered length.

That's it. That little comment seems to break him, because he sets down the controller and rips his headset off, tossing it aside.

"Don't care - FUCK - don't care about the game right now..." He groans, unable to get out a complete sentence without cursing or whimpering.

"Oh? You sure? Because I can leave you be and let you focus..."

He whines when you stop moving your hand, bucking his hips up into it.

"Please don't go."

His discarded headphones suddenly roar with noise, his friends screaming about something in the game. You pick them up and smirk at Josh as you speak into the mic.

"Sorry boys, he's busy."

You flick them off, then toss them aside again as Josh sputters.

"W-why'd you have to say that? That's fucking embarrassing."

"No, what's embarrassing is how many times I've actually believed you when you say you'll go to bed with me." You snap back, pouting and climbing up onto his lap.

As you straddle him, he finally seems to give you his full attention. He clears his throat, noticing your outfit for the first time. A t-shirt and underwear. More specifically, his t-shirt.

"I've missed you, Josh."

He immediately melts under your touch, letting go of whatever anger had built up.

"I'm sorry."

Looking into his eyes, you can tell he really means it. You cup his face and lean in in close, pressing your forehead to his.

"I'm still mad at you." You whisper, absolutely lying.

"I'm really sorry." He tries again, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

"Still don't forgive you."

Josh whines as you start to pepper kisses down his neck. At this point, he can probably tell you're just toying with him, but he's too damn horny to care.

"Really really sorry?" He mumbles, throwing his head back to allow you better access to his neck.

"It's not that easy." You tease, giving his neck a solid bite and starting to softly grind on his lap.

He just whines in response, mind too clouded with lust to think straight at this point.

"Need you to fuck the forgiveness out of me. Can you do that?"

Josh nods, moaning as you suck circles into his neck. He's already lost this fight, giving in to you completely. As he should.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You lie impatiently on his bed, already naked and ready for him. He seems to be taking his sweet time undressing, so you urge him on.

"I need you." You whine, squirming on the bed.

That's all he needs to hear. In seconds, he's on top of you, trailing kisses down your neck.

You wrap your arms tightly around him, sliding a hand up into his hair and gently tugging on it. He takes the hint, bringing his face up to yours and kissing your lips.

He's so eager to taste you. His tongue is in your mouth before you can even kiss him back. Not that you mind. It's endearing.

"Fuck, Josh." You pant as he finally pulls away to catch his breath.

"If you don't put it in me right this second, I'm never going to forgive you."

He lets out a breathless laugh as you tug at his hips, but doesn't waste any time. After lining himself up with your entrance, he slides it in with ease.

"You feel amazing." He stares down at you with those lovesick puppy eyes of his, completely losing himself inside you.

Now that he's finally giving you the attention you've been craving, you're starting to lose it as well.

"Faster." You choke out, gasping from the sensation of being filled. He's usually so sweet and gentle, but tonight you need all of him. Everything he can offer.

His brow furrows in concentration as he goes ever-so-slightly faster.

"Josh." You cup a hand on his cheek, looking up at him with pure desperation in your eyes.

"Fuck me stupid. If I can still walk after this, you're not forgiven."

That makes him blush deeply. It's silly honestly, how he can be so nervous about his performance when he's all you've ever wanted. All you've ever needed.

"A-are you sure?"

"Fuck. Me. Harder."

He complies, moaning and jutting his hips a little more roughly. You cry out with pleasure and grip his hips, pulling him into you further with every thrust.

Once he sees how much you're enjoying it, he goes even harder, making the bed creak and the headboard slap against the wall. You almost can't even hear it, though, over the sound of your own moans.

The way you call out his name only encourages him further, and soon tears are dripping from your eyes.

"Fuck... I'm close..." You whine, tightening your grip on him.

Your admission makes him nearly lose it, hips stuttering as he lets out a sharp moan.

"Please cum with me. Please." He begs breathlessly.

You do so almost immediately, trembling and crying out his name as he pumps hot ropes of cum into you.

"Fuck... missed that so much... missed you so much." He mumbles, collapsing on top of you and panting.

You feel him nuzzle into your neck and you card your fingers through his hair for a minute while you regain composure. Your heart is still racing, and you can feel his cum leaking out of you. Thank god you're making a mess of his bed and not yours.

"You could have fucked me like this at any time." You remind him, a hint of bitterness in your tone. Yes, this was supposed to be apology sex, but it also served as a reminder of what you had been missing out on.

"Damnit. Can you still walk? Do I need to try again so you'll forgive me?" He laughs softly, playfully nipping at your neck and squeezing you tight.

"Mmm... yeah... It's been, what? Three weeks since we last did this?" You muse, humming happily at his touch. It's so hard to stay mad at him.

"So I think I deserve three weeks worth of make-up sex."

Josh nearly chokes at that.

"Three weeks? How much stamina do you think I have?" He laughs again and starts to pepper your face with affectionate kisses.

"We'll have to see, wont we?" You tease, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him back down against you.

"You're going to be the death of me."

"Hey, It'll be a fun death."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Josh never ended up giving up his late night gaming sessions. And you never expected him to, not really. But now you have an ace up your sleeve.

Sometimes, on nights when you really need him, you place a hand on his thigh while he's gaming. It's a small gesture that he's learned means "turn the game off RIGHT NOW or I will make you regret it."

He never regrets what happens afterwards.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

Author's note: RAHH thanks so much for 100 followers!! I wanted to write a quick little smut piece to celebrate, but this ended up taking all day. Oops.

(Totally worth it because I love Futturman)

This was my first attempt at a gender neutral reader, and I think I executed it pretty well. Please shoot me a message/comment/ask if I missed something.

[njdevilsdarling]

the ‘costume thing’ | jack hughes x reader

*pairing: jack hughes x gn!reader

*summary: a simple misunderstanding between you and jack turns into a full-blown argument

*word count: 896

*tags: angst, miscommunication, happy ending

*a/n: goodness gracious, this was supposed to be fluff but it grew into this angsty monster. i hope you enjoy !

happy halloween !!

you’ve been trying to convince jack since september to wear matching costumes this year. jack didn’t agree to do it last halloween so maybe this time, it’d be different, but nope. he still shot down every suggestion. it’s starting to get on your nerves. you’d never force him to do it but it’s hard not to feel jealous seeing all of your friends dressing up with their partners.

and you thought you’d had some pretty good ideas, too. your best friend straight up cackled over facetime when you told them your favorite (the angel and devil thing is so overdone but jack has always looked good in white).

now, it’s two weeks before the 31st and he still hasn’t said anything. he doesn’t even pay attention anymore and you suspect that he isn’t listening whenever you bring it up. it fucking sucks.

at first, it was just annoying- something that was just aggravating enough to get under your skin- but now, it’s starting to hurt.

it’s beyond just a costume. it’s about him ignoring you and not even taking your opinion into consideration.

fine. if he wants to play that way, so can you.

“c’mon, just talk to me.”

you cross your arms and stare at him, shaking your head. oh, now he wants to talk, got it.

“did i like, forget to do something or make you upset?” jack says, sounding genuinely concerned. it’s nice to know he cares but you’ve been paying attention to how long it would take for him to approach you. three days is shitty.

you stand there in silence while he fidgets awkwardly, clearly frustrated by your lack of a response.

“can you please say something?”

you sigh, rolling your eyes. the low simmer of irritation and hurt that’s been under your skin finally boils over and you can’t stop yourself from lashing out at him. “it doesn’t feel very good to be ignored, does it?”

immediate regret sets in as you watch the look in his eyes shift rapidly from sadness to sharply annoyed. “is this still about that costume thing?”

“are you serious?” you scoff, full on glaring at him, “you think that’s why i’m upset?”

“yeah, i guess. i don’t know.”

“i’m upset because you’re not listening to me. every time i try to talk to you, you just brush me off, and that’s if you even care enough to respond,” you snap at him. you feel your eyes begin to burn and it only serves to make you more upset. you’d never considered yourself someone who tries to hide your emotions but fuck, crying over this in front of him is embarrassing. “it’s like you don’t even want to hear what i have to say. and i feel ignored.”

it’s quiet but the silence between the two of you is thunderous. jack opens and closes his mouth, struggling to find what to say. you sniffle, using the back of your hand to dry your eyes. it isn’t fair for you to spill everything you’ve been feeling lately out to him and to him to stay still and speechless. it feels like hours before he finally says anything.

“i’m sorry,” jack mumbles, and it’s so genuine that it’s almost like you have to look up at him. “i should have listened to you.”

you laugh wetly, wrapping your arms around your body. “yeah, you should have. you never even told me why you didn’t want to like, dress up with me.”

“i don’t know why.” he shrugs. at least he looks bashful. “that’s a shitty answer, isn’t it?”

he’s right. it’s a horrible answer but he says it in such a way that makes you giggle, hiding it behind your hand. hearing you laugh causes him to smile.

“i didn’t know you felt like that. i wish i would’ve, though.” jack bites his lip, his hands in his pockets. it sucks, seeing him so dejected, but part of you is glad that he’s taking this so seriously. it’s such a contrast from before; he’s actually, really, listening to you now and it’s damn satisfying. “i don’t like seeing you upset.”

you take a deep breath, nodding slowly. he’s trying. one conversation isn’t going to make everything okay but it’s a start.

“just… i need you to talk to me. fighting like this is stupid. i don’t wanna spend most of our time together arguing,” you say quietly, the last of your tears drying on your face.

jack pulls you into a crushing hug and for a moment, you stand still, before hugging him back just as tightly.

“me too.”

he’s got such a way with words.

jack flicks his headband with a frown and you watch the little halo attached to it wobble.

“quit messing with it,” you hiss, elbowing his arm when he goes to hit it again, “you’re going to break it.”

he pouts, rolling his shoulders back. maybe the wings were a little too much, but he just looks so cute in them. “and why am i the angel again?”

“because,” you say simply, flashing him a grin, “you’re always a devil. it’s my turn now.”

you quickly pull your phone out, using the camera to check if your horns are still on straight. in the top left corner, jack readjusts the wings you ‘forced’ him to wear.

you can’t fucking wait for tonight.

[actiniumwrites]

NOTHING LEFT TO SAY

synopsis: after an argument with albedo in his lab, you storm off while albedo is left with regret over the words he said to you. wanting nothing more than to take back what he said, albedo sets out to apologize to you. unfortunately, it seems as though everything is getting in the way of him doing so

or, in other words, the three times albedo tried to apologize to you, and the one time he actually did

based on this request!

characters: albedo x gn!reader

wc: 4.7k

warnings: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, arguments, a tiny bit of swearing, descriptions of injuries and blood (not caused during the argument), established relationships, albedo is probably a bit ooc at times

notes: to the anon that sent this request to me, i am so sorry it took me around 5 months to actually write this request! i never meant for it to take this long, but i swore i would write it and i made sure i did. honestly i just wanted to make sure it was out before the year was over because i really liked the idea and didn’t want you to have to wait any longer. i hope you enjoy this <3

“I need another beaker,” Albedo said in his ever so monotonous voice.

Your eyes glanced hurriedly around the lab, “Albedo? We’re out of beakers. You used all of them.”

An annoyed sigh left Albedo’s lips for what had felt like the millionth time that afternoon. Coincidentally, it was also the first time he had looked at you all afternoon. You weren’t sure what was bothering him, but it was clear it was not something he wanted to talk about. Unless, of course, it was just one of those days where everything seems to piss him off. It could’ve been either of the two, and it was impossible to know which.

Albedo’s eyes left yours as he turned to look through his cabinets. A slight slamming sounded out after he shut each one with a little more pressure than usual. Frustration was running through his veins. It was just as you said, there really were no beakers left.

“Albedo? Are you alright?” you asked hesitantly, “You know if you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

Albedo sighed again, “No, I’m fine. Let’s just continue working.”

“No, Albedo, I —” the crashing of glass rung out through the air, cutting you off from speaking. In your attempt at finding out what was wrong, your hands had begun moving with your words and soon enough they knocked a beaker full of chemicals onto the floor. Silence was what remained.

It had been nearly a full minute before either of you spoke again. You were too shocked and Albedo was far too calm looking for you to tell what he had been thinking. Soon enough, you realized that the chemicals that were now puddling on the floor were ones imported from Natlan. It had taken him an entire six months to obtain them.

“Get out.” Albedo said calmly.

“Wait, Albedo- I’m sorry! I know those took you forever to get, but I’ll fix it. I swear. Archons, I’m so sorry!”

Albedo’s icy blue eyes finally met yours for the second time that afternoon, “What don’t you understand? I said get out. I don’t need someone like you hanging around me if all you’re going to do is ruin my experiments.”

“Someone like…me? Albedo, I’m your lover. I’m not just— just some random person or your assistant or your intern or whatever! You don’t get to treat me like that,” you angrily spoke, “If you want me gone, then fine. I’m leaving. Don’t bother trying to find me — If you even care, that is.”

Those were the last words you had said to him before you stormed off. Albedo didn’t feel human emotions like every one else, but he was sure what he was feeling right about now was regret. He didn’t mean what he said to you. Dammit, he loved you — Albedo was sure of that. Now all he had done was ruin that too.

Apology Attempt #1: One Day After The Argument

Albedo sighed as he fiddled with the pen in his hand. Staring down at his papers for hours hadn’t been what he intended to do today, but he just couldn’t focus. It was cold in his lab, just as it always was. But today was different. The air felt different. Albedo was used to the cold, but not in the way it was when you were gone.

It was hard for him to admit it, but Albedo just isn’t the same when you’re not around. The way you encourage him makes him feel all warm inside — a feeling he doesn’t quite understand, but welcomes regardless. He feels more like himself, more at home.

So why did he have to go and ruin it?

Albedo’s eyes shut tightly and he let his head slump dramatically against his desk, disrupting the papers among the top of it. Normally, he’d get upset at such disorganized actions, but today he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he was able to get any work done anyway.

“Albedo!” a high pitched voice run out in his lab following the sound of the door opening. Albedo begrudgingly spun his chair and opened his eyes, a fake smile on his face.

“Hi, Klee,” he spoke softly. Although he didn’t have the energy to deal with her today, the alchemist couldn’t possibly push her away.

“Oh…where’s Y/n?”

Albedo fought the urge to wince at your name, forgetting that Klee was unaware of his regrettable argument with you, “They aren’t here right now, Klee. Is there something you needed them for?”

“No, but you’re always with Y/n. It’s weird that they aren’t here.” Albedo’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the little elf’s words. Was he really around you that much?

“It’s complicated right now, Klee. You see, I said something I never should have said and I hurt their feelings. I’m just trying to figure out a way to fix it and then they’ll be back, okay?”

“Oh! Oh! I know! You should get them flowers! Y/n loves flowers!” Klee said as she jumped up and down excitedly. A small smile cracked onto Albedo’s face at her excitement.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try. Thank you, Klee.”

Klee was gone soon after with Jean pulling her away. Albedo had taken that as his chance to go out to pick some flowers for you up on Starsnatch cliff. The wind had blown them around, but the Cecilia’s he had picked were as beautiful as ever. They were your favorite flowers, one of his favorite facts about you — mostly because they were his favorite flowers too, something you had bonded over when the two of you had first met. Albedo smiled to himself when he remembered the bouqet he had gotten for you on your first date and the way you smiled when you saw them in his hand. The painting he had done of you later that night still remained in his lab up on Dragonspine. It was a moment he never wanted to forget.

Truthfully, Albedo wasn’t much of a flowers guy, but he would make an exception for you. Only now, he hoped the flowers would hold the same amount of love in them even when they were followed by an apology.

When he had returned to Mondstadt’s gates, flowers in hand and apology replaying throughout his head, Albedo set out to find you.

Luckily for him, it hadn’t taken long at all. As soon as he had walked toward Good Hunter, he had spotted you sitting at a table. Sitting around you were some of your guys’ coworkers and friends, Eula and Amber. There was plenty of food at the table, Amber was talking excitedly while Eula had an unusually bright smile on her face, and your eyes were creased as boisterous laughter fell from your lips.

The fondness in the alchemist’s eyes seemed to slip away as they made their way back to the neatly tied bouquet of Cecilia’s in his hand. Albedo looked to you again before looking back to his flowers. His hands clenched around them tightly as his mind fought back and forth.

Dammit, he thought. Truthfully, Albedo wasn’t sure what your reaction to seeing him would be and there was no way he was going to ruin your outing.

Albedo’s eyes were glued to the floor as he dreadfully turned and walked away from you, flowers still in hand and hung loosely by his side. At any moment, he felt they would slip and fall from his grip.

And by the time he got back to the Knights’ headquarters, the sunset faded into darkness and the clouds had moved in to cover the night’s moon. As he walked in, he was immediately met with the sight of Klee waiting in the corridor with her backpack all packed up for the day.

“Albedo!” She cheered when she saw him.

“Hi, Klee,” he spoke tiredly, “Is Jean about to take you home?”

“Yep!” Klee said happily before her eyes wandered to the flowers in his hands, “Are those for, Y/n?”

Albedo looked to the flowers in his hands before kneeling down in front of Klee, “They were, but uh — Y/n couldn’t take them today.”

“Awww, so Klee’s idea didn’t work?” Klee frowned.

Albedo sighed as he thought of what to say to cheer her up. The small fake smile he had shown to her earlier returned to his face once more, “No, but that’s okay. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if I gave them to you.”

“Really? Thank you, brother!” Klee jumped as she hugged him. Albedo laughed softly as he returned the hug. At least he was able to make someone happy today.

Apology Attempt #2: Three Days After The Argument

Day after day, everything was beginning to feel the same. An endless blur of work and experiments. Albedo just wanted you back and it had only been three days. It wasn’t that you were ignoring him, really. It just seemed like the circumstances never seemed to line up for the two of you. The fact that you guys didn’t live together certainly didn’t help.

Albedo glanced at his clock again for the first time in hours. It was nearly five in the afternoon now and Albedo had been so concentrated on finishing his experiment papers that he hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten.

Staring down at his papers, Albedo studied their contents. He wasn’t usually one to look at his work and think, “Good enough,” but tonight it would just have to do. The words on them looked rushed, scribbles almost. The lines between words seemed to blur together like watercolor, rendering them barely legible. But even so, Albedo grouped them together carefully into their assigned folder and set them aside for tomorrow.

The bag the young alchemist usually carried to work was hung by his side once again as he exited the door to his office. Turning behind him, he locked it haphazardly. To be honest, he wasn’t sure he completely locked it, but he wasn’t in the mood to care either. It was incredibly unlikely anyone would try to break into a Knight’s office anyway.

Albedo tried to tune out those in the corridor around him on his way out, but it was just no use. Why was it so busy tonight anyway? He certainly did not know and it wasn’t like he cared either. It didn’t look important so he had no use to bother with it. Keeping his eyes turned to the floor, Albedo carefully pushed around a few people before he got to the door. But before he could even reach for the door handle, a hand was placed on his shoulder followed by the sound of his name.

“Albedo?” the familiar voice of the librarian spoke, “I thought that was you. How come you’re leaving so early? I was hoping to catch you a little later if I’m being honest. Didn’t expect you to be on your way out so soon.”

Albedo huffed before turning around, “Hello, Lisa. I’ve been working all day and I’ve got some other stuff to do anyway. You know, preparing for a Dragonspine experiment that’s coming up in a week. I’m still missing some materials for it.” His excuse was as good as any other, and it wasn’t like Lisa would question him on it seeing as it lined up with all of his other work. And if she had noticed, she certainly didn’t say anything. He could only assume Klee had babbled about his current predicament to her and Jean. Hell, all of the Knights probably knew about it by now.

Yet, the smile Lisa had greeted him with still remained as bright as ever, “Oh, it’s no worry, sweetheart. But I did have to ask, have you completed the paperwork for that last Dragonspine expedition Jean asked you to do? You know, the one with the Liyue detectives? I know it’s a lot of work, especially since it deals with foreign affairs, but Jean really needs it done by next week and you know how stressed she gets…”

Lisa seemed to trail on forever sometimes, it was one of Albedo’s least favorite things about her. Admittedly, he had stopped listening to her about half way through her little rant. Of course he knew about the papers, they had been sitting on the edge of his desk for about a week collecting dust. And how could he forget about them when they stuck out so abnormally, they were clear as day not part of his experiment. But even still, they would have to wait. It wasn’t that important, especially seeing as the investigation led to absolutely nothing and he had far more important things to worry about right now.

Albedo continued to absent-mindedly nod along as the librarian spoke. Sometimes he would chime in with an mhm or a really? Not that Lisa seemed to care he wasn’t really paying attention. A glimpse of a certain uniform seemed to catch his eye though, and as quickly as he had become bored, he had snapped out of it.

Once he registered it was you, Albedo instantly began nodding faster. Dammit, why couldn’t Lisa just stop talking right now? Couldn’t she see he had places to be?

Albedo’s eyes continued to glance back and forth between Lisa’s face and the back of your head, following your movements whenever he could so he wouldn’t lose you in the crowd of Knights. He had to fix this, he had to.

“Anyway, Albedo,” Albedo’s eyes snapped back onto Lisa’s at the mention of his name, “Just make sure you get that file to Jean. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Uh, yes, of course,” he hurriedly said, “See you tomorrow.”

As Lisa walked away with her goodbyes, Albedo felt his legs move on their own. A string of sorry ‘s and excuse me ‘s fell from his lips as he pushed his way through the corridor and around all of the people. His eyes were locked on you — until they weren’t. Panic set into his bones as he hurriedly glanced around only to not be able to find you.

If only Lisa had just finished talking sooner — no, if only she didn’t talk to him at all. Maybe he could’ve gotten to you, said he was sorry and restored your relationship. Maybe he could’ve held you in his arms tonight like he always does. Maybe he could’ve said he loved you as you fell asleep. And maybe, he could’ve kissed good morning you when you woke up tomorrow. Maybe he could’ve had you back.

Now you were gone and he had to wait even longer. Albedo bit his lip in frustration, hands forming into fists at his sides. A gentle sigh escaped him as he pushed the doors open to the Knight’s headquarters and slipped out silently.

If only he had noticed you standing by the door on his way out.

Apology Attempt #3: Five Days After The Argument

It was March Fourteenth now. The sky was dark and a little overcast, but not enough to cover the stars or the moon. Loud chatter and excited laughter could be heard from outside of Angel’s Share. Albedo stood silently outside of the door, dusting his outfit off. A little gift bag with a few colorful balloons printed on the side of it sat gently in his right hand. It was Jean’s birthday and everyone had been invited to celebrate at Diluc’s bar.

Hesitantly lifting his hand up to the handle, Albedo opened the door. A small smile made its way to his face as he gave a small wave to everyone inside. It would seem he was the last one to arrive.

Before his eyes even had the chance to look for you, Sucrose and Kaeya were in front of him. “Albedo, welcome!” Sucrose had warmly greet him. Kaeya smiled and took the small bag from him and placed it on a table where all the other gifts were. Soon enough, even Timaeus had joined them and walked the group over to the bar where Diluc had been bar tending

“Albedo, good to see you,” Diluc spoke. Albedo nodded and returned his welcoming words. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Water is fine. Thank you.”

The atmosphere was nice, Albedo noted. It was warm and no one was being overly talkative with him. The food was good and his water was a little too cold for his liking, but he hadn’t minded too much. A breath of air silently left his lips as he fiddled with the cup in his hands. Truthfully, Albedo had no intention of actually showing up tonight. A birthday party wasn’t really his scene, but if there was even the slightest chance he could finally see and talk to you again, he’d take it.

“Looking for Y/n?” Diluc’s voice rung out, interrupting Albedo’s thoughts.

“Oh, uh — yeah. How did you know?”

Diluc smiled knowingly, “You just look a little lost. Everyone knows how much you love them, so it’s a little odd to see you without them. They’re talking to Rosaria over there.”

Albedo’s eyes followed the direction Diluc pointed in, only to see you looking right back at him. You gave him a small, yet, sad smile before averting your eyes and turning back to talk to Rosaria again. Albedo knew it was impolite, but perhaps now was a good time to pull you away. Besides, Rosaria wouldn’t care if he interrupted — at least, he hoped she wouldn’t.

But before Albedo could even get up to talk to you, a small hand had wrapped itself around his own. His eyes snapped down to find Klee smiling at him. “Brother! It’s time to cut the cake and give Master Jean her presents. C’mon, c’mon!”

Klee continued to tug at his hand until he got up. Setting his glass down at the bar, Diluc gave him a pitiful look. At least he was saved from the rest of that conversation, Albedo thought. It was getting far too personal for his liking. Seriously, did everyone in Mondstadt know about your argument?

On his way over to the table, Albedo felt someone watching him. When he glanced up, he found your eyes on him again. Although, this time, an amused smile was on your face as you watched Klee drag him to the table. It was rather comedic, he could at least admit that. If anything, he was just glad to not see you look so saddened by the sight of him — even if he was a little embarrassed.

As soon as the “Happy Birthday” song had been sung, everyone cheered around the table. One by one, Jean opened each and every gift with a smile and a thank you following suite. It was a comfortable little gathering, seriously, it was. But, Albedo couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. His eyes wandered around to everyone at the table. Everyone was radiating with happiness and cheer — even Rosaria, who always looked like she was on the verge of murdering someone.

It didn’t feel right.

The alchemist stared down at his feet. He couldn’t help but think he didn’t deserve to be having a good time right now, not when he was aching over the words he had said to you a few days ago. Until he could apologize to you and make things right again, how was he supposed to live with himself? And even if could find the time to apologize to you tonight, he knew he couldn’t do it anyway.

Although he nearly took his chances earlier, Albedo knew it would bring down the mood of the party — regardless of whether everyone would witness it or not. For the most part, you had looked happy tonight and Albedo didn’t want to ruin that, nor did he want to spoil Jean’s birthday.

Albedo breathed deeply in and out quietly to himself. Normally, in times like these, you would be walking right up to him, realizing he was feeling out of place again and offering to leave with him. It was one of the things he loved most about you; the way you always cared so much for him and still loved him regardless of his struggles with his social life…it never left his gratitude. Albedo stepped back from the group who was still cheering and eagerly watching Jean open her gifts from everyone. She had already opened his gift, so it would make it a lot easier to just slip out unnoticed.

Quietly, he headed toward the door without a word. Not even Klee — who always had a knack for finding him — had noticed his absence. Albedo grabbed his coat and slipped it on quickly before heading toward the door. And for the final time that night, Albedo’s eyes met with yours.

The look in each of your eyes was the same — longing, sad, and yet so full of love. This time it would seem as though it wasn’t the Gods who had gotten in the way of his apology, but rather Albedo himself. His eyes hesistantly, and rather shamefully, pulled themselves away from your own. And with that, he opened the door and left without a word.

Apology Attempt #4: Six Days After The Argument

The day after Jean’s party, Albedo felt even more miserable — if that was even possible. He never slept much anyway, but last night was horrible. Running on practically nothing, he felt awful. Not to mention, all of his social battery had ran out from the party. And all he could think about now was how much he regretted going.

Albedo didn’t mind the cold, but last night his house was unbearably frosty, making his night even worse. Not being able to handle being at home anymore, Albedo made his way to his lab at the Knight’s of Favonius at an ungodly hour. The sun hadn’t even risen and there wasn’t a single person outside except for him by the time he had arrived.

Hours had passed until more people started filing in. Noelle was among the first to arrive, cleaning up and preparing everything for the day. When she had found Albedo, her eyes went wide and she flooded him with questions to make sure he was alright. The young maid had even pointed out the dark circles under his eyes, something Albedo hadn’t even known was possible for him.

Soon, everyone had arrived and the building became a lot louder. Albedo had groaned as his head fell to his arms on his desk. Couldn’t it just be a little more quiet around here? Albedo hadn’t even drank any alcohol last night, yet it practically felt like he had a hangover with the headache he had.

The sound of the door opening and then shutting quickly alerted Albedo as his head shot up to see who walked in. He knew it wasn’t Klee because she always had the ever so annoying habit of slamming the door open. It certainly wasn’t Sucrose because she had been assisting Timaeus today. The flash of a white lab coat and clipboard in hand allowed the air in the back of Albedo’s throat to get stuck.

Shit, he didn’t know you were coming back today.

You hadn’t spoken a word to him as you walked passed. You didn’t even look at him. Though, it wasn’t like Albedo was expecting you to. You had every right to still be mad at him and knew that well enough. Today would be the day he would apologize. he swore it to himself. There was no way he would let a full week pass before he got the chance to apologize to you. Celestia would not get in his way today.

Though it seemed as though it would have to wait. It was too early and Albedo hadn’t even thought of what to say. He’d had his original apology of course, but now it had been days and that surely wouldn’t be enough to explain why he couldn’t utter an I’m sorry to you. He needed something better, something more heartfelt. Albedo had been miserable without you over the past few days and he hadn’t even known he had the capability of feeling that way for someone else until now.

Crash!

Fear washed over Albedo’s body once he heard the sound. He had been so lost in thought that he’d barely noticed it at first. But with only a tiny hallway separating the labs between you, it was inevitable that he’d have heard it eventually. Rushing out of his seat, Albedo had hurried down the hall where he heard you hiss to yourself.

In the room, he’d found glass shattered all over the floor and chemicals pooling together. It had almost looked like the scene at which your argument happened. Albedo’s eyes widened once he saw your hand, which was cut and completely covered in blood. His legs carried him over to you in an instant before he knelt down in front of you.

Albedo’s hands gently cupped themselves around yours. Your blood had even began to drip along his own hands. You knew Albedo had been rather particular about that, always blabbering about the lack of sanitation of it. Yet, it didn’t seemed like he cared much as he continued to hold them. His eyes darted around your lab, urgently looking for a sink and some medical supplies. When he spotted it, he gently placed one arm around yours while the other remained under your cut hand while carefully walking you over to it.

The medical supplies were out in an instant as Albedo began to work on your hand while you sat on the counter. The cut wasn’t too bad, if anything, it was the chemicals that had gotten into it that made it worse. No words were exchanged between the two of you during the time. You were sure it would have been painfully awkward if it wasn’t for the fact that Albedo had been incredibly concentrated on fixing your hand up.

The ticking of the clock wasn’t helping. It was quite literally the only sound in the lab — save for your occasional hisses and winces from the pain. And, soon enough, an entire hour had passed before Albedo had finished cleaning and bandaging your hand. You studied the bright white bandages that adorned your dominant hand as Albedo began cleaning up the various bandages and other supplies.

As soon as he had put the medical kit away, you had hopped off of the counter and stood right in front of him. Albedo hadn’t moved and instead was gazing into your eyes. Throughout all the time you had known him, you had never seen so much emotion mixed deep within them.

Say something.

Anything.

Please.

Albedo’s mouth opened and shut again and again. No words could make their way out, it seemed. Eventually, he just shut it for good and sighed to himself. One step forward and then another and then another. A sad and tired smile graced Albedo’s face as he collapsed against you, pulling you into a warm embrace. As if on instinct, your arms locked around his abdomen and your head rest against his chest.

“I have so much to say. But let me just start with saying, I am so sorry”

“Shhh,” you cooed. An entire week without each other. Miserable as he was, you were unfathomably worse. You could talk for hours later if you wanted, days even. You didn’t care about his formal apology right now, because all you wanted right now, was to be with him. It was clear he wanted the same.

There was nothing stuck between the two of you now. Albedo wasn’t much for believing in the idea of Gods, but he was glad they hadn’t gotten in the way once more. And as he held you tightly in your lab, he knew everything would be alright.

[absurdthirst]

Cracking the Case {Tim Rockford x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Flirting, mentions of crime scene photos, misuse of handcuffs, bondage, rough sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cream pie

Comments: Staying late with your boss, Detective Tim Rockford, turns into some sexy times at his desk, making him crack the case while he's buried inside you.

A/N: Did we write a fic about a damn Merge Mansion commercial? Yes we did. Do we have any regrets? Not a damn one! 🤡🤡🤡 Based off how sexy that damn stupid game commercial is and this NSFW GIF.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Tim Rockford MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

He’s been at his desk all day, gun holster still on his shoulders and you bite your lip, eying the cups lined up on his desk. “Tim.” You say and he barely tears his eyes away from the photos he’s been studying on his desk. “Tim.” You repeat, knowing he will be there all night if left to his own devices. 

“Yes?” He asks, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the photo of the fatal wound to look into your concerned eyes. 

“You need to eat.” You huff, knowing you could use something too but your boss has spent three days studying the evidence, sleeping in the office and maybe managing to drag himself back to his apartment for a quick shower. “I’ll get you something.” You stand up, making your way out of the police department to head down to the 24 hour diner you frequent when his case keeps you both tethered to work.

Tossing his pen down, Tim rocks back in his chair and sighs, closing his eyes as he presses the pads of his fingers to them. Staring at the crime scene photos for so long that he feels like they are blurring together. He’s missing something, he can feel it. It’s right in front of him but he just seem can’t find it. It’s times like these that he longs for the days where a bottle of bourbon is in the bottom cabinet of his desk drawer and a pack of Marlboro Reds sit right next to his hand. He’s given that up, trying to be the ‘new image’ of the police force but it’s damn hard when you’re trying to solve a case like this. The chair creaks as he rocks back, finally aware of the growling in his stomach that you’ve insisted on taking care of for him. He’d be lost without you.

You return with the food, a burger and fries for Tim, knowing he will be annoyed if you get him something healthier and you just want him to eat something and not just chain smoke until the light bulb goes off. He’s got his face in his hands and you set the take out bag down. “Betty says hello.” You tease, knowing he is aware of the older waitress having a crush on the ‘hunky police detective’. “She even threw in a slice of apple pie for you.”

Tim snorts and shakes his head, reaching for the bag. “Someday soon I’m gonna have to go back in there and flirt with her a bit.” He tells you, knowing that the woman is probably ten years too old for him, but he shoots you a grin. “Keep the pie slices rollin’.” The mouthwatering scent of the hot burger makes him groan as he opens the styrofoam contain and he looks at you. “You not get anything for yourself? Or you plannin’ on going home?” He wouldn’t blame you if you did leave, it’s far past the hours that you were expected to answer the phones, the Desk Sergeant already taking over for the night. You aren’t a police officer, but as the department’s secretary, you were a damn vital part of keeping this place running.

He takes a bite of the burger and you hold up your own bag, “figured I’d get something to eat before I head home. Keep you company before you retreat into your mind again.” You tease and sit down on the other side of his desk, gathering up the photos and keeping them in order so he can concentrate on his food. “I know you want to solve this case but punishing yourself by not eating and sleeping won’t get you any closer to solving this.” You warn him, having watched him and the others try to be superhuman and it always leads to mistakes. “You should go home, eat, shower, get laid. Will help you take your mind off of the case and you’ll come in with a fresh perspective.”

Tim scoffs as he picks up a fry and bites into it. “Gotta go out to get laid unless I call up some of the working girls.” He jokes. “And the captain would have my ass if I got busted by vice like Johnson did a few months ago.” Tim was a bachelor, probably always would be one after his fiancée jilted him a few months before the wedding years ago. Claiming that he worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with her. It was probably true, so he hadn’t really tried after that, figuring it just wasn’t in the cards for him.

“You could easily go out and get laid. You’re a handsome guy. Smart, funny. Just flash the handcuffs and say you know how to use them.” You home and bite into your own sandwich, watching him chew with satisfaction that he’s eating. “Too bad you’re always in this damn office. You’d be popular at the bar down the street from me. Lot of girls like a cop with handcuffs.”

His brow arches up at your comment, wondering briefly if you were one of those girls before he tries to push the thought away. You are off limits. Plenty of detectives had tried it with you only to be shot down and he enjoys the rapport you have, not willing to risk it. “Lots of girls, huh?” He asks, taking another bite of his burger. “Too bad I’m chained to my desk.”

You chuckle, “some women would like that.” You joke and continue eating. The silence is comforting, both of you enjoying a hard earned meal after a long day of trying to solve this case. You watch him as he eats, mustache getting a little wild after concentrating on this case and his hair all over the place yet he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. His dark eyes meet yours and you smile, setting your sandwich down. “You know…I’m one of those girls…who like a man with handcuffs.”

Tim’s brow shoots up and for a moment he’s speechless. Clearing his throat for a moment and nearly choking on his own spit. “I- you are?” His cock twitches in his pants as he imagines putting his cuffs on you. Bending you over and pressing you up against this desk as you moan softly.

You bite your lip, enjoying the clueless look on his face like you haven’t been subtly flirting with him for God knows how long. The lines on his forehead become more pronounced and you decide to take the risk. You can’t keep imagining him between your thighs every night while you rub your clit. This is either going to be the best or worst decision of your life. You push your sandwich aside and stand up, walking around the desk until you’re beside him, and you look into those dark eyes, wide with shock, while you slowly pull your skirt up and over your hips to expose your panties. “Yes. I am.” You say softly, voice taking on a seductive lilt.

“Shit.” The way his eyes shift between your exposed panties and your face would be comical if he wasn’t trying to make sure you aren’t teasing him. His mouth runs dry and Tim quickly stands, abandoning his meal to press close to you. “Are you- fuck, are you sure?” He demands, needing to hear you say the words.

You chuckle nervously, reaching up tentatively to wrap your arms around his neck so you can press closer to him. “Yes baby. I am sure. I want you to fuck me. Always have. Since the day I started working here.” You confess, keeping your eyes on his.

Tim hisses, unable to believe this is happening and he lunges forward to press his lips to yours. Blindly striking out behind you at his desk to clear a space for you to sit while he frantically slides his tongue into your mouth. Needy and desperate for you, it’s been so long since he’s touched a woman and he’s often thought of you with his hand around his cock in the shower.

You moan into his mouth, pulling him even closer as his hands slide down to squeeze your ass. You can feel the pent up need inside of him, similar to your own, and you whimper into his mouth while his tongue slides against yours. “Fuck Tim.” You pant, tilting your head when he kisses down your neck and presses you up against his desk so you can feel his hardening cock.

“Yeah?” He groans against your flesh and sucks at your pulse. His hands sliding down your thighs, squeezing them and then he presses two fingers against your clothed clit. “You want me to use my cuffs on you?” He asks as he rubs the damp fabric. “Or just turn you around and fuck you?”

“Oh God. Cuffs. Please use the cuffs.” You beg, having imagined it too many times. “Please baby. I- I just need you to touch me.” You reach down to squeeze him through his dress pants, wanting to make him moan.

His hands reluctantly pull away, fumbling behind his back to pull his cuffs out of the small pouch he has on his belt. Grabbing your wrist to slap the cold steel around it as he pushes your arm behind your back. “Jesus Christ baby, you drive me insane.” He groans, eager to give you what you want.

You gasp at the cold metal encircling your wrists and you love the way he bends you over his desk once you are cuffed up. “Tim.” You whine when he grinds against you, making your cunt clench around nothing. “Please baby. I need you to fuck me.” You beg, aching for him after so long of wondering what it would be like.

Chuckling, Tim kisses you again, “I’m going to baby, I promise.” His fingers find the edge of your panties and he starts to strip them down your thighs. Dropping them at your feet on top of your heels. “Step out of them and turn around. Spread your legs.” He orders roughly.

You struggle but manage to kick the panties off of your shoes, letting them land wherever, and you spin around, spreading your legs for the handsome detective. “Fuck me. Please.” You aren’t above begging, wanting your dreams to come true.

There’s so much he would do to you if he wasn’t in his office. Surrounded by the case details and photos, sure that someone could walk in. That makes it even thrilling, even though the lights are off outside and most everyone else has gone home. He reaches out and slaps your ass as he unbuckles his belt with one hand. “Fuck, your gagging for it, aren’t you? Bet you're soaking wet, eager for my cock.”

God, hearing him speak like that, husky and deep, has you dripping. “Ye-yes Detective. I- I want your cock. Please. I need you.” You pant, not above begging at this point. You feel his cock push against your ass cheek and you gasp, unable to believe how big he feels. “Fuck, Tim.” You whine, grinding back against him, fingers flexing behind your back.

He decides that he’s not going to spit in his hand, wanting it to sting a bit as he stretches you out. Needing a good fuck to smooth his rough edges and maybe help him focus on the case. Taking his cock in hand, he nudges along your slit, feeling how wet you are. “Dirty fucking girl, you’re soaked.” He groans. “Let’s see how well you take my cock.” He nestles the head against your entrance and snaps his hips forward, pinning you to the desk as he drives his cock deep.

You collapse forward, head coming down to rest near the take out bag and your mouth falls open into a moan as he pushes deep inside of you. He’s thick, stretching you out, and your nails dig into your palms, unable to believe how good he feels already. “Oh fuck.” You choke, eyes squeezed shut as his hands grip your hips.

Once he’s buried to the hilt, it’s like a switch has been flipped. Clenching his jaw, Tim draws his hips back to start a frantic, devastating pace. Nearly immediately breathless from how hard he is pounding into you, groaning and grunting as he feels your soaked walls clench around him.

“Shit! Shit!” You cry out, breath knocked out of you from his harsh pace, making you moan his name, and you can’t do anything but let him fuck you, use your body for his own pleasure. “Baby. Oh fuck, Tim. Yes. Yes!” You moan.

“Quiet.” He hisses, not slowing down. “Can-can’t let everyone hear how- how much of a dirty girl you are.” He groans, closing his eyes and enjoying the squelch of your cunt as he drills into you. Slippery and hot, perfect for him. “Fuck, baby. It’s- it’s like heaven.” He groans, opening his eyes and his gaze falls on the strewn photos on his desk.

You don’t know he’s eying the photos on his desk as he pounds into you. You love how his hands come to grip your handcuffed wrists, using you as leverage to push harder and deeper. “So good.” You whimper, “so fucking good, sir.” You are used to addressing him as sir or detective and that slips into your dirty little fantasies.

“Shit.” Tim’s eyes widen and his pace stutters for a moment and the pieces click together. “That’s it.” He groans, gripping your hips tighter and pushing into you faster as he realizes he’s just solved the case. “Fuck that’s it!”

You don’t realize he’s just solved the case, you think he’s close to cumming and you’re a little disappointed that you aren’t going to cum but it’s still been nice to have him inside of you. “I’m on birth control. You can cum inside of me.” You sigh, closing your eyes and waiting for the warmth of his seed to fill you up.

Tim growls, flattening himself against your back and slides his hand around your hip to find your clit. “Fucking hell,” he moans into your ear. “Gonna- fuck, gonna fill you up. So fucking perfect.” He pants. “Helped me solve the case, fucking solved it buried in your cunt.” He presses two fingers to your clit and rubs frantically, wanting you to cum on his cock.

Your eyes open in shock and you grin, glad he’s solved the case. “Gl-glad I could help.” You chuckle breathlessly before you moan when his fingers rub your clit. Hard and fast as he pushes deep inside of you. “Oh fuck.” You pant, loving the way he kisses along your neck. “Shit. Tim. I’m gonna - I’m gonna cum.” You whine, walls fluttering around his cock and he pushes towards your orgasm. You cry out a few thrusts later, clamping down on his length and soaking him as your mouth opens in a silent scream.

He feels it. The hot, wet gush of your cunt right before you tighten so much that he moans. The grip on his cock almost makes him unable to move as he grinds deep. He’s right behind you, poised on the edge and burying his cock deep, moaning your name as he fills you with hot spurts of his seed. Painting your walls as he chants your name breathlessly.

You pant, relaxing on his desk as your body buzzes with the aftermath of your orgasm. You feel giddy and you smile against the surface of his desk as he leans over you, catching his breath. “I was not expecting that to happen today.” You chuckle, knees wobbly and you’re grateful you’re on his desk.

Tim huffs in agreement, pulling out of you gently so he can watch your cunt flutter and try to push out his cum. “Didn’t expect to solve the case while fucking you.” He jokes, caressing your hip before he grabs the photos that had caught his eye.

“Glad I could help. You wanna finish your dinner and then you can call it in?” You suggest, looking over your shoulder at him. He nods and you watch him eye the photo that has helped him solve the case. “Could you uncuff me first, babe?” You joke, wiggling your fingers.

“Right. Shit.” Tim hisses, immediately dropping the photos and pulling up his pants that have dropped to mid thigh so he can pull his keys out. “Sorry.” He huffs, quickly unlocking the cuffs and taking them off of you, gently massaging your wrists for a second before he lets go of you and steps to the side.

You groan softly as you stand up straight, grabbing the napkins from the diner to clean yourself up before his cum drips onto the floor. Once you’re cleaned up as much as possible, you shove the napkins into the empty take out bag and find your panties to put them on, adjusting your skirt. “Glad you solved the case.” You kiss his cheek and shift to step away from his desk.

Tim stares at the pictures in amazement, unable to believe that he had missed this. It’s so obvious now. He shoves a hand through his hair and mumbles, “thanks,” as he thinks about the way to present this to the DA. You shuffle off to the side and it jars him out of his thinking. “Hey-“ he clears his throat. “You wanna get a drink?” He asks, suddenly awkward even if he had just railed you over his desk. “I mean, like a date?”

You offer him a soft smile, stepping closer so you can kiss his cheek. “Yeah. I’d like that.” You say and step back. “Go solve the case and be the best detective on the force and then we can go get that drink.” You promise, reaching down to squeeze his hand.

Tim smiles at you, nodding quickly. “Give me ten minutes and then we’ll talk about what we can do in the interrogation room over a drink.” He winks and quickly buttons up his pants so he can grab the phone to call the DA and get an arrest warrant issued. He managed to solve the case after all, all thanks to you. Maybe he needed to fuck you during every case from now on, just to make sure justice is served.

[leupagus]

Working title is "Aziraphale is going to get a good grade in sex, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve"

"So!" Aziraphale said, plopping himself down in the chair opposite. "Urophilia."

Crowley glowered at him from behind the safety of his third-best sunglasses and his mug.* He hadn't slept last night — he rarely wanted to, these days — yet it was somehow still too early for this. "No," he attempted.

"I know we neither of us go in for the more, er, granular human bodily functions," said Aziraphale, without even the slightest hint of listening. Crowley took a certain amount of comfort in the fact that he still found this annoying as — well, his former employer's residence. He'd worried, in a vague sort of way, that if Aziraphale came back and they worked things out, became a proper us, that he'd start thinking everything Aziraphale did was wonderful. But even true love had its limits, thank — well, his other former employer's residence. "Did I ever tell you, I tried defecating once? Terribly awkward business, I had to make an anus and everything. But Cicero was very obliging in teaching me about the stick."**

Conversations with Aziraphale tended to fall into one of three categories. Either he was humming away in his default cheeriness, in which case he'd burble happily along with whatever Crowley said for hours on end; or he was in a pet about something, in which case he'd be drier than the desert outside Eden and Crowley'd be lucky to escape without injury to his pride or person. Or he was like this, in which case Crowley's participation was purely decorative.

Still, they were getting some stares. Nina hadn't started tutting yet, but she would do soon. "I'm not pissing on you," he said, firm. "And vice versa."

"Oh, all right," Aziraphale huffed, pulling out his spectacles and wrapping the temple tips fussily around his ears. He peered down at the magazine he'd apparently brought with him; even from here, Crowley could see some illustrations. They were… illustrative.

"What," he said with the conviction that he would regret it, "Is that?"

"It's 'Kinks and Fetishes: An A to Z Guide,'" Aziraphale said, handing it over with all the glee of a dog showing off a rotted tennis ball it had found in the back garden. "I've been doing more research, you see. Apparently, there's all sorts of sex we could be getting up to. I truly had no idea there were so many—" he waved his other hand around vaguely. "Configurations."

"Does Glamour have a print edition anymore?" Crowley asked, thumbing through the pages. There were a lot of illustrations.

"Not as such," Aziraphale admitted. "But Muriel found it for me on the World Wide Web—"

"Don't call it that," Crowley sighed.

"—and you know how I dislike reading off of those… screens," he continued, making a moue of distaste. "So I made my own proof copy, as it were."

Under "Tentacles," there was a stern reminder that you shouldn't have sex with octopuses.*** "Angel," he started, then paused. "Vicarphilia?"

"I thought it was something to do with priests and things, but apparently not," Aziraphale said, leaning over the table to point out the next one. "What about whipping?"

"No fetishes that I could've done professionally," Crowley decided firmly, shutting the magazine. He waved it away, out to the Tadfield Library where Anathama would probably find it and laugh for a week, then try at least a half-dozen of them out on poor Newt.

* Nina had set one aside for him after a while, since he didn't mind the permanent stains that had developed along the inside. "Pretty sure those are scorchmarks, actually," she'd complained. "On the outside. What did you do to it?"

** Roman public toilets were aptly named — men would gather to have a bowel movement and a chat, cleaning themselves off with a sponge on the end of a length of wood. Hence the phrase, "Getting the wrong end of the stick," something decidedly less pleasant when taken out of its metaphor.

*** Accompanied by a picture of a young woman doing exactly that.

[lovekz]

eight years

syn -> you don’t expect to run into your high school sweetheart after eight years. it seems your heart still yearns for the man.

taiju shiba x reader

nothing to beware of..

~

‘no more online dating for me,’ you thought to yourself, sighing as you cleared your plate.

this was the second time you’ve been stood up on a date your friend’s helped you set up, and it was getting annoying.

you sat there for two or three hours, sipping on some wine.

your glass had been refiled about three times before you decided to just buy the rest of the bottle.

you only decided to order your food after you confirmed your date just wasn’t going to come. again.

you wiped your lips clean of your food and balled up the tissue, before tossing it onto the empty plate.

leaning back, you regretted your life choices.

at the age of 26, you were using a dating app to go on dates and getting shitted on or disgusted.

or in this case, stood up.

what the hell were you even doing anymore?

before you could raise your hand for the bill, a male walked up to you. was this your date?

no.

he was holding a tray of desert, wearing a suit the man you were supposed to go out with probably couldn’t afford.

“never thought i’d see the day where i would meet you again.” the male spoke confidently, smiling down at you.

you raised your eyebrow. as good as he looked, you were praying he wasn’t going say some cheesy ass pick up line.

“do i know you?” you questioned, tilting your head to see if he had looked even the slightest familiar.

this man definitely did, but where would you know a waiter from your favorite restaurant from?

you’ve never met him before, and you’ve met almost everyone here.

‘must be new.’ you thought quietly, before adjusting yourself in your seat.

“you do. does taiju shiba ring a bell?” he questioned, taking a seat in front of you while placing the plate of desert in front of you.

taiju shiba? as in your high school sweetheart taiju shiba?

“no way.” you said in shock, finally taking in the male- no. taiju shiba’s newer and bigger appearance.

he shot you his little boyish smile and slid the plate of desert closer to you.

“looks like you’ve had a shit day. eat up.” taiju suggested, pointing at the plate with his chin.

and eat you did.

you ate the desert of the plate, still in shock of seeing taiju shiba in the flesh in front of you.

“i didn’t know you were a waiter or something. your dad work here?” you questioned, looking up at him from the plate.

taiju shook his head, chuckling quietly. “i own the restaurant, pretty girl.” taiju said proudly.

your eyes widened as you looked around. no way he owned a restaurant at the age of twenty six.

you looked at the ring on his finger, and suppressed a wince.

it seemed to be a wedding band.

so not only was he successful, but he had a wife. probably a kid somewhere too.

taiju was doing so much better than you were.

“is that from uhm- you know.” you questioned quietly, pointing to the wedding band on his finger.

he knew who you were talking about.

after graduation, the two of you had broken up because you were going in two different directions quite literally.

the two of you stayed friends for about two to three years while being in college. you were the one that stopped speaking to him.

when he made it to college, you still loved him. but you didn’t want him to know that. he was the one that suggested the idea.

one day you ended up seeing him on another girl’s post, seeming happier than the two of you ever were.

it was how you two fell off. you stopped texting and unfollowed him on every social media you had him on.

it was finally time for you to move on.

taiju looked at the ring on his finger and chuckled, shaking his head.

“nah. we didn’t last long honestly. seems like i’m still stuck in the past.” taiju explained, leaning back in the seat.

you finished your desert and nodded, silently agreeing with him.

you yourself still held onto everything in the past, almost as if you didn’t want to move forward with your life.

taiju looked at you, before holding back a small snicker. you squinted at him in confusion.

“what’s so funny?” you questioned lightly, smiling at him.

taiju leaned forward and wiped your cheek, showing you a piece of whipped cream before sucking it off his finger.

now you felt flustered.

“how about we step outside? the night sky feels good on the balcony.” taiju suggested, pointing behind him.

there was a balcony here? and you didn’t know?!

~

turns out, the balcony was at the back of the entire restaurant.

to get there, you would have to go upstairs and go into the hallway of taiju’s office and turn a few times.

eventually, you would make it to a beautiful balcony where you could see the night sky and the city of roppongi.

it was gorgeous, just like taiju described on the way to the balcony.

“you okay with me smoking?” taiju asked, gesturing to his pack of cigarettes.

you waved him off, walking over to the edge and placing your hands on the bars as you leaned over.

you felt taiju approach you quietly, resting his forearms onto the railing next to you.

a smile graced your face as you looked at him. “how’s life treating you?” you asked, resting your head on your hands.

taiju smiled, before looking up at the sky. “pretty good. i’m an uncle, if that says anything.” taiju stated.

he pulled out his phone and showed you his lock screen.

it was a picture of a young boy who looked almost exactly like him, but with blue eyes and his younger brother’s eyebrows.

you could tell that it was hakkai’s son.

the two of them were in the picture with smiles on their faces, holding a big scissors as they cut a big blue ribbon in front of the restaurant.

“he’s adorable.” you cooed, growing a smile on your face.

taiju nodded, before closing his phone and stuffing it in his pocket once more.

“how about you? still in school?” taiju asked, looking at you with sudden interest.

you nodded, smiling at him. “last year.” you explained, feeling proud of yourself when you had said it.

taiju clapped lightly, shooting you his boyish grin once more. he always knew you would do well in school.

making him proud was what pushed you to pursue your dreams.

“you’d better invite me to the after party.” taiju joked, looking at you with this soft look in his eyes.

one you hadn’t seen in a long time.

“please. you’re invited to the graduation if you bring the pretty boy.” you shot back, watching him tilt his head back and let out a throaty laugh.

“you wound me.” taiju said, calming down and pressing a big rough hand to his chest.

you rub over his hand playfully, sharing another laugh with your high school sweetheart.

it grew silent once more, save for the sounds of the busy city before you.

“it’s getting late. do you need a ride home?” taiju questioned, looking at you.

you nodded with a smile. “if it isn’t too much?” you asked.

~

riding with taiju felt like you were in high school again.

he now drove a deep blue audi a8 to call his own, instead of his fathers shining white honda civic.

he let the sunroof open for you, and even made sure the car was cool enough for you to enjoy the ride.

 the two of you blasted your old favorite songs, and even shared some new ones with each other.

it was just like when you would sneak out in high school.

by time you pulled up in front of your apartment, you stopped and looked at taiju.

taiju was already looking back at you, with a knowing smile.

if anyone knew you better than yourself, it would definitely be the man that sat in front of you today.

“wanna come up? it’s late already.” you suggested, pointing to the building in front of you.

taiju chuckled, before nodding in agreement.

he drove into the parking lot and parked his car, helping you out of the car with a smile.

before you could walk off, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his warm embrace.

you wrapped your arms around him, smiling gratefully at him.

“stay with me here. just until the last star disappears.” taiju whispered.

you nodded, repeating the words he had said to you quietly.

that night, the two of you spoke about anything and everything that happened while you were separated from each other.

until the last star disappeared...<3

[sleepyfan-blog]

Author’s Note: this is the second part of mer-Joth’s fic!

Previous.

Next

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel

Warnings: magical ritual, imprisonment, ask me to tag something if it bothers you

Summary: Joth wakes up post deamon-stabbing. Things go… Strangely from there.

Joth woke up to the sound of smug sorcerer chanting, and the worst headache he's had in over three hundred years. The Thousand Son who made off with Joth's own rightful sacrifice has tied him upside down to some sort of stone. Fucker left his mouth unbound, so the irritated World Eater planned on making it the damned blue badtard's problem. “HEY FUCKER! LET ME OUT OF THIS AND GIVE ME BACK MY SACRIFICE!” He also starTed to struggle against the chains binding him in place, hoping that either the links in the chain or the stone to which he'd been pinned to would give way, thrashing as much as his bindings would allow him to.

“Hmm… No. I had been stalking after that rare specimen for months in preparation for this Ritual. Then you showed up at the last moment and messily ripped it apart. Luckily for me, you kept intact the organs and bones I required for this. I and dozens of my brothers are collaborating together on this Great Work, and should we succeed, it will allow those of us who are blessed by Chaos to work with the Warp much more similarly like it is back home, rather than the ash-fired clay effort it takes to do anything more than minor tricks here and now.” The Thousand son sniffed, glaring naughtily down at Joth for a couple of moments before returning to his chanting.

The World Eater thought about that for several seconds - the greater blessings of Khorne he had earned couldn't be used in this time, on Ancient Terra for reasons Joth could only begin to guess at. The ability to go on sustained Rampages… To ensure the Blood Flowing and the collected Skulls given to the Throne…

It was almost enough to get him to purr and settle into his bonds. “... and if I promise not to interfere with your… Ritual? Will you let me free then?” He could respect another's irritation at a kill being stolen from him. Stuffy blue fuck could have led with that hours ago and saved them both the trouble. But no, stubborn bastard sorcerers refused to communicate in more than smug smirks and annoying as fuck riddles a good ninety percent of the time, trying to prove that they were so much smarter than everyone else.

At least his Primarch survived the Heresy, and had led them to greater powers, as well as the endless glory of fighting for Khorne. Away from the false light and moneyed lies of the corpse-Emperor and his throne of lies and two-faced duplicity.

The thousand son continued to chant for several minutes, the brilliant blue glow of Warpcraft steadily shining through the other's eyes, mouth and hands as he continued the task he had set himself. Fucker didn't even look in his direction in order to acknowledge that Joth had spoken.

One of his oldest and most familiar companions - Wrath - charged to the forefront of his mind, made his dual hearts sing for the preparation of battle, in spite of the deamon-poison stings that caused his body to ache fiercely all over. Joth struggled against his bindings again, feeling some of the metal begin to stretch and give way beneath his bulk and strength.

The thousand son continued to ignore him completely, his chanting in the partially air-filled cave bouncing off of the walls, creating an echo that made it seem as if dozens or even hundreds of fellow Sorcerers were chanting with him, just a beat or two off of his own chanting. The blue of warp use continued to intensity- and started to color and light the water where the other Mer sat tall, hands weaving complicated symbols over the sacrificial bones and meat laid out on the altar the fucker was sitting in front of.

The bones and meat had begun to glow as well. Moments after that, they began to move, slowly at first before gaining speed. They started to spin around and around the room, with each revolution getting faster and faster. Along with the chanting, Joth could swear that he could hear the last pained and frightened calls that the large aquatic mammal had made - had they been a warning call, to chase others away, or a desperate plea for help?

As the glowing and chanting continued to intensify, one of the larger organs suddenly splattered against a sharp rock, causing the color of the warp-crafted light to change from blue to magenta.

Oh fuck no.

Whichever of the dark powers the thousand son had been seeking to strengthen, the plea had just shifted to another, and Joth was not going to participate in a Slaaneshi ritual while tied to a big, fuck-off boulder. He could be interpreted as part of the sacrifice and that was not happening.

Joth continued to thrash and struggle against his binings, feeling the Metal continue to give way…

But the warp-light was intensifying, and the distinctive crunch of bone on stone intensified the magenta hue, prompting the Khornate Chaos Marine to triple his efforts in an attempt to escape.

The light, chanting and spinning of flesh and bone continued to intensify, weĺl-past blinking and deafening to Joth at this point, even as he'd shut his eyes, to try and preserve them.

The sound of his chains breaking was the sweetest down Joth could ever remember hearing, and he shot out of the water - feeling the electrifying buzz of active warp-energy coating his scales… Which may or may not have consequences he'll need to deal with and/or adjust to. But that was Later Joth's problem. Right now he needed to get the fuck out of here before the ritual either ended successfully.

Or… Considering this was a project led and done by The Thousand Sons… Blow up spectacularly horribly in their faces, leading to a widespread and devastating curse affliction them. But Joth had no interest in Being Cursed by an overconfident sorcerer coven.

He swum as swiftly as the twisting tunnels and partially filled watery caverns would allow him, following the scent of fresh air.

About half-way through he battled into something small, soft and warm. His deepest instincts howled Mine! Protect! Defend! As different kinds of chains began to wind around his soul, leading into your small and delicate psychic fingertips.

Having no desire nor time to explain what he was fleeing, Joth scoops you, his newly bonded human up and continues to swim at his top speed, keeping you tucked into his chest, both so that you’re as safe as he can make you be at the moment, and so that you don’t slow him down.

He does not stop when he carries you up and out of the underwater cave system that you’d been exploring. Nor does he slow down as you flail and scream - nor heed much to the confused yelling of your friends.

But since those yelling humans are important to you, they are also picked up as he continues swimming through the air as fast as he can. He air-swims for hours before gently setting you and your friends down on the soft candy beach. He curls around you protectively as a wave of magenta-tinted exhaustion hits him “Danger… in the caves.. Do not return… Little Bonded…” He croon, making sure to use the same language that you and your friends have been yelling at him the most in, his eyes closing, even as he keeps curled protectively around you.

[hopelessdelusional]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You slam your phone down, annoyed at your friends persistence. Normally you’d be enjoying Shoto and Hitoshi’s bickering, it would even take your mind off your problems, but instead you’re being expected to act like an adult. How unfair was that?

“Are you okay y/n?”

The voice of Bakugou’s Agent quickly brought you back to reality. You had decided to have your break in the studio, wanting to have some peace and quiet before having to deal with Bakugou’s weird passive aggression.

You ran a hand down your face, rubbing your tired eyes gently. You didn’t want to make a scene, nor want to worry anyone. Today was the last day of the shoot, it was already a huge success. Multiple magazines and companies lined up waiting to buy and order these prints, and your résum�� was forwarded to a lot of companies. This was a dream come true for you, you’ve worked your ass off for opportunities like this. If this was such a big success, why did you feel like shit? Why was your accomplishment being overshadowed by a…guy?

“Yeah, just a little tired.”

You let out a sigh, feeling your chest get tight.

Allison had slowly become a friend of yours. You had found yourself texting her causally and even made plans to go to lunch this weekend in order to celebrate the success of this shoot.

She sat down in the chair next to you, staring at the empty set in front of you.

Being able to direct and shoot was exhilarating. People turned to you for help, for guidance. It made you feel like all those shit jobs being disrespected and abused were all worth it. You were finally able to realize that you had made it, and things were going to finally start changing. For the better.

“I just have to say, it’s been an absolute pleasure to work with you.”

She wasn’t looking your way when you turned to face her, taking a moment to examine her face. She looked calm, and content. Allison finally faced you, now making eye contact.

“Yeah, it’s been great. I’m lucky to have had such an amazing experience after my break.”

She smiled at you, and you broke eye contact in order to take in the studio one last time. It was almost three, which meant you only had three more hours until this project was over. You could retire the binder you made, and the many slideshows and docs were going to be soon long forgotten in your computer.

“So why do you look so depressed?”

Her words were serious, but a part of you felt as if she knew the answer to that. Anyone who knew both you and Bakugou had to see that there was tension between the two of you, the chemistry that was once there now long gone.

You sighed, finding yourself in a mix of emotions. You were annoyed, but not at your friends, but at yourself. Maybe they were right? Maybe the brash and confident blond was falling for you.

“I think-no. No, I know Bakugou is upset with me right now. I said something that I didn’t think would affect him, but I was mistaken.”

It felt good to get that off your chest, finally being self aware and conscious of the problem in front of you, so you continued.

“I know if I leave the job without trying to talk it out with him I’ll regret it and hate myself for it. I just-God! Why is it so hard to be an adult?”

You were now face first into your hands, Allison’s hand quickly making its way to rub gentle circles on your back. You knew you sounded childish and immature, but it was truly what you felt like.

“Katsuki has always been a bit of a hassle to communicate too, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t kind hearted. He can be petty and a little immature, but when he cares about something and wants that something, he does everything he can in order to get it. He will listen to you, and he will talk it out with you. Bakugou Katsuki is many things, but he’s not a quitter.”

The air felt still when Allison was done speaking. It seemed as if all the noises and hustling ceased to exist. Your mind was scattered with thoughts and ideas, and you finally sat up. You looked at Allison, hoping that the look you gave her was words enough, for you couldn’t find anything to say back.

However, you were surprised to see the staff come in earlier than when the break ended. Everyone settled in and you gave Allison one last smile. She smiled in return, and jumped to her feet. She held out her hand to you, and you took it. With your hand in hers, she took the opportunity to pull you into a bear hug, making you laugh in surprise. She gave you one last squeeze before letting you go. You watched Bakugou out of the corner of your eye, watching the makeup artist fix up his black eye makeup. Allison gave you a quick wink before running off to the blond, filling him in for the rest of the day.

Okay. You got this, it wasn’t going to be easy, but you got this.

The clean up for today went a lot smoother today.

You’ve been able to pick up a good rhythm with the people you’ve been working with for almost a month now. There was music playing, hugs and numbers being exchanged, and plenty of inside jokes being recited. You honestly don’t remember the last time you had this much fun in a work environment, it was magical.

You sat on the floor after everything was cleaned up. Next to you was your equipment, and you allowed yourself to really think of everything, especially Bakugou.

You scan the room to find him, pleasantly surprised to see him leaned against a wall staring at you. When the two of you made eye contact he was the first to break away. He was walking out of the studio in an instant, and without thinking, you jumped up grabbing your supplies and chased him.

You felt like a literal maniac chasing this man to the door. He had made it pretty far considering you had to gather your supplies and make quick goodbyes to your coworkers. Sure, it may have come off as rude, but with Allison there she was able to get you out of there in order to catch Bakugou before he left.

“Yo! Pretty boy!”

You started to pick up your pace after opening the door to leave the building. The model wasn’t very far, but you knew you needed to get his attention in order to stop him from getting farther.

Bakugou jolted, obviously hearing you but not very sure it was you he wanted.

You smiled, and continued.

“Yes you Bakugou,” you couldn’t help it as a laugh emitted from your lips. Bakugou turned around as soon as name was spoken, his face disturbingly neutral.

He stopped, which you were over the moon grateful for. You honestly didn’t know what you would have if he didn’t stop and allow you to talk to him.

Probably throw your shoe at him.

He stood patiently with his hands in his expensive pants as you jogged in his direction some more. God were you grateful Izuku got you going to the gym with him. It would have been painfully embarrassing for you to be panting like a dog by the time you caught up with the very obviously in-shape man.

“You didn’t even say goodbye.”

The two of you stood in front of the community garden. It was blooming with so many vibrant flowers, different blues, pinks, reds, and greens. The sky was still light, cloud littering your world. It felt all too much like a scene in movie, especially the way he was looking at you.

You could understand why everyone thought you liked you romantically. He looked at you with such passion in his eyes, like he put all of his thoughts aside in order to focus on you. The lowering sunlight hit his eyes just right, they lit up in such an unfamiliar way and you couldn’t help but wish you could look at him in this lighting more often. He had changed back into a hoodie and sweatpants, and yet he still looked like he deserved to be in an art museum, every piece of him was perfect. You honestly had to fight the urge to whip out your camera right then and there in order to capture this perfect moment.

“They all said goodbye to me when we were in the break room. You just weren’t there.”

You knew the words were supposed to be passive aggressive, but all you could think about was the fact that he noticed you weren’t there.

Suddenly you felt your heartbeat quicken, feeling like a child back in high school when talking to their crush.

Shit.

Bakugou observed you, shifting back and forth on his feet. You were annoyed at how good he was at hiding his emotions. Meanwhile you were certain he could read you like a damn book, being able to read your emotions just by looking at your posture.

You honestly didn’t know what to say to him, or how to start this conversation. He probably has places to be, maybe another job, or just wants to get home. You need to be clear and to the point, thoughtful and sound smart. Don’t just blurt something out because of the awkward tension-

“You’re avoiding me because of what I said.”

…Or you could just say that.

Immediately you flinched at the stupidity of your words as Bakugou also physically reacted. He too was definitely shocked at your boldness and you couldn’t say you blamed him. He quickly recovered though, but he broke eye contact giving you a breathtaking view of his jawline.

“I guess.”

Fuck. You didn’t know what else to say. He was now avoiding eye contact, which was something that he had never really done with you. You felt that anticipation rise up from your stomach and into your throat. You couldn’t keep standing here in silence, you needed to talk to him.

No. You needed to apologize to him.

“Look Bakugou I’m so sorry-“

“You have nothing to be sorry for y/n.”

Your mouth clamped shut in an instant. His red eyes were looking back into your eyes. You didn’t realize how much you missed the eye contact until it was back, and it almost knocked the breath out of you.

Bakugou must have noticed how abrupt his words were, so he closed his eyes momentarily then cleared his throat.

“I’ve never been in a…situation like this before.”

The wind started to pick up, adding to how beautiful he looked. There was an adorable blush that painted his cheeks, but he stood tall. Unfortunately you couldn’t really say the same for yourself. You were still hunched over squeezing your bag which contained the camera you had to fight every cell in your body in order not to pull out and snap a picture of the God of a man standing in front of you.

“I should have talked to you sooner, I know. I was acting like a dumbass and when I realized, I guess I felt like a text wasn’t enough. I tried to summon up the courage to talk to you but I think I was just…”

His head dropped, and that confidence you knew him so well of having had vanished.

Hesitantly, you took a step forward, being careful to place your bag down before doing so. With your left hand, you slowly and gently cupped his right hand. Bakugou’s head whipped up, eyes full of uncertainty and anxiety.

“This is quit an unique situation we got ourselves into, Bakugou. Words are hard, but, I really care about you and I want you in my life.”

Suddenly feeling confident, you took another step further. Bakugou didn’t move away, in fact you saw his shoulders relax and felt his hand get closer to yours.

“Katsuki is my name.”

His voice was soft, but stern. In fact, he said it so bluntly, it caught you completely off guard. That was truthfully the last thing you thought he would respond with. You slowly recovered, watching how Katsuki’s confidence returned to him. Despite that, his eyes were softer than before, more trusting, which made you understand his comment more.

“I forgive you, and I’m sorry Katsuki. I never meant to hurt you.”

That’s when it happened, Bakugou Katsuki pulled you into a hug.

He was warmer than you expected, and the hoodie he was wearing was much softer than it looked. His arms were now wrapped around your shoulders, but you were more hesitant to cuddle into him. He delicately set his head down on your shoulder, and that’s when you decided to sink into his touch, completely nuzzling your head into his neck.

This was crazy. This was crazy, wasn’t it? You were fully hugging Bakugou Katsuki. After the first day of shooting you took the liberty of looking him up and read up about him as well as stalking looking into his social media. The only words you could find to describe him was a cold hearted bitch. Now? You were cuddling with him. In public.

What the fuck was your life.

He was the one to pull away first. You were a little lost in your swarming thoughts so you really didn’t know how long you were standing there. That beautiful blush was still very apparent on his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but give him a teasing smile.

“You’ve been hanging around Allison too much.”

You bent over to get your bags, so you didn’t have the pleasure of watching his face morph at your comment.

“Tch, tell me about it.”

You laughed, butterflies dancing around in your stomach. You didn’t want to think about how much you enjoyed that, how much you wanted to stay in his arms forever. You didn’t want to dwell on the fact that the more you think about him, the more you start to remember how soft his lips were during that drunken kiss. But you certainly didn’t want to think about how mature he is. How kind, funny, and talented Katsuki is. He is a literal dream, and you didn’t want to think too hard about how damn happy he made you.

“Walk me to my car?”

Katsuki smiled at you, a beautiful, real, genuine smile.

“I guess.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

if this was a movie

(i’m gonna pretend like i didn’t post this literal SECONDS before the day is over)

this was so dramatic oh my LAWRD HAHAHA

i was living writing this (not rlly) and i bet y’all thought there would be a kiss HA (soon my loves, soon)

also i don’t wanna sound like a bitch but it’s pride month so i can say whatever i want-why the hell are my notes going down like with every post ESPECIALLY with my last post when tumblr marked it mature??? you best believe i sent a stingy ass note on they ass bc mama i am NOT gonna let that slide

anyways i love u guys thank u for all the love and support, i wanna post more stuff other than just bkg so PPPLLEEEAASREEE give me requests or even ask me questions!!! since i can’t reply to comments i wanna talk to u guys more so hit me up!! i promise i’m not an actual bitch (kinda)

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- i miss doing fun facts :(

- Allison is a sweetie pie and i kinda wanna do like a little thingy of how i picture her so you guys can picture her as well

- zu was like seconds away from texting bkg being like “u whore i want u to listen to y/n and get ur shit together”

- speaking of: they still text a lot like keeping each other updated on their lives bc I SAID SO

- y/n and bkg sat in his car for like 20-30 minutes just talking and i’m sobbing now bc i’m SO FUCKING SINGLE HESUS

- literally felt sick to my stomach while writing the hug scene hello???

- bkg is so sassy i love him

- kaminari and hitoshi were talking abt someone from high school getting married and toshi got distracted and forgor to reply LMFAO (he’s just like me fr)

- zu ALWAYS texts y/n when they post smth sus on their priv twitter

- the original title for this episode was illicit affairs but then i wrote the line “it felt like a movie” or sum shit and a light bulb popped up

- also the way i’m ADDICTED to the little strikethru and that indented shit like UGH live, werk

←Prev┊˚✧ ┊Season Two? →

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates every wednesday and sunday! happy wildest dreams wednesday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST IS OPEN just message or comment: @iiilovemilfs @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @bakugoukatsukiwifiu @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy @chuugarettes

[theconstellationprincess]

House and Home:

Chapter 3: Meals and Deals

tw// angst, regression repression (lmk if I need to add anymore)

-

After an hour had passed, far too quickly in Pix’s opinion, everyone was rounded up and shuffled downstairs to the dining room. It was extravagant, large arches and windows creating a wide, open feeling space. Pix was one of the first to enter the room, a fact he quickly regretted when he realized he’d have to pick a spot. There were no assigned seats, something he was a little disappointed about, as it would have made his life easier.

Fwhip sat down first, with Gem and Sausage following. The table was set up in the same way as the House Blossom Alliance meetings, and the three of them followed that seating plan. Pix followed suit, taking a spot that mirrored his position in meetings.

His knee bounced, so he held it down with his hands in his lap, which had the added benefit of preventing him from fidgeting with his fingers are anything on the table.

As everyone sat, he was amused to note that everyone else had also followed the pattern, Katherine included. He looked across the faces of his friends and wondered, truly, how had things gotten so terrible between them all? His eyes caught on Fwhip, breath catching in his chest as he found his gaze returned.

Fwhip stared at Pix, unblinkingly, until the food was brought out. Fwhip knew Pix far better than the others, and he was privy to a fact that, to his knowledge, only he and Pix knew. Fwhip was aware that Pix was a regressor, though he was certain Pix didn’t know he knew. The poor king went to great lengths to hide it, going so far as to lock himself in his bedroom. It made Fwhip a little sad, but truly he often felt a similar way, so he did not judge.

He was concerned, about Pix. He had been so busy lately, large bags prominent under his eyes, and Fwhip had noticed that one of the bags that Pix had brought seemed to be filled with paperwork.

When Pix made eye contact with him, he tilted his head slightly, trying to convey ‘are you alright?’, though based on Pix’s increasingly confused and anxious expression, he was failing.

When lunch arrived, he had to make an effort to not scrunch up his nose. He was familiar with the food of other empires, of course, and he didn’t expect Katherine to cater to his… specific diet, but it was still a bit annoying to be given a salad that was entirely vegetables, no protein in sight.

But alas, he was trying to make an effort here, so he shoved the leafs into his mouth, actively avoiding grimacing. He noticed a couple of the others picking at their food, and Scott looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

To Scott’s credit, he was doing a wonderful job pushing the salad around on its plate, just not so much at taking it off the plate and into his mouth. He looked stressed, though Fwhip couldn’t blame him. He’d had a rough go at it lately.

See, look at him empathizing with the elf! He was winning at Katherine’s little game for sure.

Scott was not winning Katherine’s game. Since leaving the sanctuary of his assigned room, he’d quickly come to the conclusion that he would never be able to rest in this house. Everything was far too noisy for his sensitive ears, and he felt like he was going to puke from a mixture of anxiety and sensory overload.

Katherine was prattling on about something to the group, but Scott was being focused on trying not to cry and wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t his fault that Katherine had hired an army of servants that were constantly moving and making sounds that felt like a hammer hitting Scott’s skull. He dug his nails into his palms, careful to avoid reopening the half-moon scars that had been left behind after a life time of too sharp nails on too soft skin.

He observed the room, grateful that Katherine’s chatter had at least silenced most of the group around the table. Pixlriffs was writing furiously in a book (where had he pulled that from?), but the soft pencil scratching was far more soothing than distressing. He focused on the repetitive noise, slowly unclenching his hands. It would be a nice sound to fall asleep too, but alas, Scott trusts most of the people around him as far as he could throw them, which is admittedly, not particularly far, unless he was flying...

Regardless, his eyes stayed firmly open. He drifted his gaze towards the Cod Father Alliance, Joel and Jimmy were whispering furiously to one another, while Lizzie was exasperatedly trying to get them to quiet down. Scott narrowed his eyes, were they regressed?

The Cod Father Alliance all did, he knew that. It was a well known fact, he'd taken care of Lizzie a few times, and Joel, and once had a regressed Jimmy foisted upon him by a panicked Lizzie and taken care of him. They were easier to talk to, when regressed. Or perhaps it was because his biases towards them were far less strong when they were kids, after all he wasn't going to be mean to kids.

Joel stuck his tongue out at him, Scott smirked and did it back, but quickly looked away when Joel started tugging on Lizzie's arm to get her attention. Her resulting sigh almost made him laugh.

Katherine continued to talk, and then she stopped and everyone started standing up. Scott stared at his uneaten salad and shrugged, following suit with the others. He'd have to find someone to ask what Katherine was talking about, perhaps Pix. They'd never been close, but they weren't enemies either.

Pix, on his part, had been paying close attention to what Katherine was saying. It was a schedule, and he would not be caught unprepared for any activity! He flicked through the notes he had taken, there was a surprising amount of games of hide and seek scheduled throughout the week. He wondered, briefly, if Katherine had perhaps allowed her small side to dictate parts of the schedule.

To Pix's knowledge, almost every emperor regressed, himself included. Sausage didn't, or if he did Pix didn't know, but everyone else did, at least occasionally. Some were rarer than others, his own included. He was almost always a caregiver, and had watched over almost every empire's ruler at this point.

Pix nearly walked straight into his door, face buried in his book, but stopped himself at the last minute. He quietly shut the door behind him, Scott appeared to be feeling under the weather and he didn't want to cause the elf any pain. He set the notebook down on the desk, grateful that the rest of today was pencilled in as a break. Katherine had mentioned that they would all be sharing lunch with each other, but no other meals would be mandatory to be shared amongst them.

Pix rolled out of bed and started pacing. The doors did not have locks. That was... unfortunate. He eyed the closet. It was spacious, inside, and had its own light source, and lots of shelves for candles... Pix determinedly pulled his well-loved box out of it's hiding space, and then froze.

What on earth was he doing? He couldn't regress, what if someone needed him? Scott might be getting sick, and Pix knew from experience that being sick enhanced regression tenfold. He knew Scott was wary of almost everyone here, too, but seemed to be okay with Pix. He shook his head. He ignored how his hands shook and how tears pricked in the corner of his eyes and how much he was already regressed and just not letting himself admit it and shoved the box back into it's hiding place.

He wasn't regressed. He wasn't. He was big! He needed to be big, just in case.

Pix swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut and climbing into the bed, pulling the covers over his head. He was a neighbour to an elf with sensitive hearing, he would need to be very quiet if he didn't want Scott to find out about his current... emotional upset. Because then he might be asked questions, one's that he could not answer.

The darkness under the blankets was far from comforting, but the sound muffling was necessary as Pix tried his best to not cry. What was with him? Honestly, he was behaving like a child.

A few tears dripped down his face, and he was quick to wipe them away. Crying because he didn't get his way? Crocodile tears, clearly. He was just crying for attention, ignoring the fact he was entirely alone.

More tears fell until Pix gave up on wiping them away and let himself cry. He wasn't small, he couldn't be. A soft knock sounded on his door.

Pix froze.

Then it was a scramble of actions. He pulled himself out of his blanket cocoon and furiously wiped at his face and combed his hair with his hands. He hoped his red eyes looked more sleep than tear induced.

Scott stood at his door. He opened his mouth at the same time Pix did.

"Hello! What can I do for you?" Pix asked cheerily, faking a yawn and stretching his arms. "Sorry," He said after yawning, really amping up the tiredness.

"Pixlriffs," Scott greated tensely. He looked nervous, but tossed on a smile as he leaned in and quietly explained, "I'm rather afraid I missed what Katherine was talking about earlier. Could you, perhaps, explain to me what it was she was talking about?"

Pix grinned, opening his door to allow Scott inside while he approached the desk, pulling up the notebook. He turned around to see Scott staring, wide-eyed, at the several candles he had set up along the nightstands and dressers. Pix winced.

"Here-" He cleared his throat, "Katherine was talking about a schedule for the next week, it's all written down here." He offered the book to Scott with a nervous smile, getting one in return. "They're not for, um, death. Pixandria uses candles for many practices, including celebration and friendships-" Pix babbled, cutting himself when Scott's face contorted into something different. He was terrible at reading facial expressions, he couldn't tell if Scott was interested or annoyed. He swallowed, allowing Scott to leave with the book without more conversation.

His traitorous eyes locked onto the hiding space of the box. But he was feeling leagues better already, having shoved all his emotions inside a deep part of his brain so that he could act normally for Scott.

He approached his bed again, genuine exhaustion clinging to his bones as he burried himself under the blankets, though not covering his head.

It was still light, which meant he needn't light any candles if he went to bed now, since he would avoid all the darkness.

Nothing bad would come of heading to be early, he was certain.

-

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! @little-froglight

[morningsunandnightsky]

Forever only | Jung Jaehyun

Pairing: jaehyun x reader

Warnings: death, attempted suicide, mention of blood (nothing major)

Word count: 1.3k

Genre: angst

Sypnopsis: Jaehyun was the one for you. In a thousand of lifetimes, in a hundred of ways, he would always be. But to him, you were never even an option.

Taglist: @thelilyshope, @donkey-hyuck, @gangsta-dragon

An: While none of the warnings I mentioned are explicitly described, I advise you not to read this if any of them trigger you. I’d love to know what you think! I hope you enjoy.

The faint sound of your ringtone stirs you awake. Aside from the small lamp on your bedside table, it’s completely dark in your room. The sound becomes clearer as you fully wake up. You don’t even have to look at your phone to know who is calling you. Because the song that is playing in your room is still the same one you set all those years ago. When you first started to have feelings for your best friend, Jaehyun.  

He had once questioned you about it, but you shrugged it off by explaining that you could decline his calls without even having to look at the screen. Since he calls you so frequently that it annoys you. But reality couldn’t be further away from that statement considering the fact that every time you spoke to him, your heart would begin to race. 

Your feelings started to change so gradually that you didn’t even notice at first. He had always been the first one you went to when things got hard or the first one, you’d tell good news to. He was the one person that could turn the worst day into the best. And the one that would cause you to stumble over your words when there was no need to. He was the one that meant everything to you. 

To him, however, you weren't. 

You were merely his closest friend. Because he had her. She was the one that held his heart. Even after she left. 

-

Nearly two years have passed since her death. It was the final day of summer before you left for college. All day long there had been storms, as if to foreshadow what was about to occur. 

Every time you close your eyes, you can still hear Jaehyun's shattered voice. You had never heard anything more devastating than that. 

Because he couldn't even get out of bed, he was forced to skip the first semester entirely. He was utterly broken. And you hated to see him like that, to hear him blame himself time and time again.  

She had never told him that she was ill. Somehow, she managed to hide it till her very last breath. You blamed her for that since he could have been ready if she had told him. He could have done all the things he wasn’t able to before, told her the things he regrets not saying. He could have endured less suffering... 

You can still see him struggle every day after all this time. In the way his smile fades away whenever he is reminded of her, or in the manner that, despite his best efforts to conceal them from you, his puffy eyes in the morning. indicating that he had been crying all night. He thinks you don't know, yet you are fully aware of everything. You see how he plays around while making it clear that he has no interest in anyone, or how he pushes himself to begin something. Only to come up with excuses that don’t even exist just to get out of the relationship.  

You keep telling yourself that better days are coming and that you’ll both be able to go back to the days you were happy. Maybe one day everything will be fine... 

-

Before answering the phone, you hastily glance at the clock.  

03:00 am.  

Despite the fact that he woke you up at three in the morning, you can't help but smile as you wonder why he called you at such a late hour. The smile, however, vanishes as soon as you hear his voice, and you feel a drop in your stomach. Just like the day he called to tell you that she was gone. You recognise the exact tone in his voice that you had hoped to never hear again. You leap from your bed in alarm. Panic washes over your body, and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

“I’m sorry y/n, but I can’t do this anymore...” you hear him say in between sobs.  

“Jaehyun what do you mean? What are you doing? Where are you?” you keep asking but he doesn’t answer. 

“Thank you for being by my side all this time...let’s meet again someday, somewhere. Goodbye y/n.” 

Your eyes are tearing up as you shout at him incoherently, but all you can hear is the sound of the call disconnecting. Immediately after it comes a piercing silence so heavy it consumes you whole.  

Without even thinking about putting on shoes or a jacket, you dash out of your apartment. You can only imagine one location, the same location from which his voice was being echoed by the waves. 

You step on something hard, and your foot immediately begins to hurt. Your sock is getting soaked as the blood drains out. But since he occupies every thought in your body, you hardly realise it. The chilly air starts to burn your lungs, making each stride seem like an eternity. It hurts as much as if someone were suffocating you, yet it still doesn't feel as bad as the ache your heart is feeling. 

You sprint up to the cliff and can now see the bottomless sea. You scan the area quickly to see if you can find him anywhere. But everything is hidden from your view by the darkness of the night. Your face is covered in tears, which only makes it harder for you to see. 

You yell for him as you sprint down to the shore. Only the roaring of the sea, though, reacts to you. 

You eventually locate him after running the entire length of the beach. He emerges from the sea as you watch him. His hair is getting in his eyes, and his clothes are sticking to him. He just makes it onto the sand before collapsing. Just before he is about to fall down, you hurry over to him and grab him. Not for a second caring about getting wet or about how you are shivering so hard that you can feel it in your bones.  

Your lips let out a shaky breath that you had been keeping in the entire time. 

Jaehyun is sobbing uncontrollably while shaking in your arms. You cling to him so firmly as you close your eyes and cry alongside him. afraid that if you let go, he would disappear. 

 His raspy voice finally reaches your ears through the chilly air after what feels like ages. 

 "Y/n, I-I don't deserve her. I don’t even have the courage to go to her.” 

The more he speaks, the more it hurts. to the point of being unbearable. 

You want to yell at him, tell him you don't care, and then leave. 

But you are unable to, as if you are frozen. Because you couldn't hurt him back, no matter how painful it was. So, you simply keep him close to you in the hopes and dreams that his physical presence will lessen the suffering. 

You wish you could shower him with all of your love. to completely fill his heart, leaving no room for anything else. You only want to relieve him of all his sorrow and give him everything he craves. 

But a strange feeling comes over you as you glance down and see the brokenness in his eyes. It has a calm or understanding touch to it. Perhaps it’s letting go...or maybe your heart has just reached its full capacity because the pain has become so deep that you feel numb.  

His eyes, that never even once looked at you even in this very moment. Tell you you’ll never, ever be what he needs. That there never will be a place for you in his heart. And that you’ll never mean as much as he means to you.  

Because you will never be her, his forever only. 

[cat3ch1sm]

requests are back therefore iiii am baaaaccckk!!!

i have decided i would like a lil sum sum both angst/hurt but obviously ending happy because i am weak without it 🤪snarky bamf girlfriend has gone missing how very dare she. she begged to leave to go shopping because she love’s watari she does but he can’t….shop bless his heart (and she enjoys nature as well cause ya know fresh air takes away sadness at least that’s what my therapist said 😌☝️) L is freaking out but not but is cause he does have feelings and is like “i regret being in a relationship” only because he’s worried to all hell. if you do like during task force don’t wanna tell you how to write cause duh but i would not mind if it’s more like a character study of L as each member interacts with him (insert tries~~ to) and help with the ongoing situation. i dunno i kinda see obviously golden retriever himbo matsuda being the one uncomfortable with the fact that L is still so stoic. would L lash out? i dunno sure. you’re probably wondering whomst would take snarky girlfriend and howst did they know about her? just a random dude and i think that’s what pisses L off its not anyone with a vendetta just some random sicko. she comes back obviously and once again you can decide that part because i did not think that far 😌😊. anywhoooooooo welcome back literally take a sabbatical if needed. with that being said take as long as you want with this request cause yes ✨tdlrrrr: girlfriend gone, L freaking out, task force struggling to help, girlfriend come back, literally cannot go anywhere ever again and tbh can’t leave L’s sight 🫡 God bless bestie soldier

🐸| hey girl queen pussy boss glad to see u in my reqs again😏

Why did he even let you leave?

L had never let you go out without someone keeping tabs on you at all times- usually him. Of course, nobody on the outside knew he was L, but it was just to be on the safe side. Regardless. You'd been gone for over five hours with no follow-up.

Hell. He knew he should have just stuck that tracking chip on your shoelace when he had the chance.

He really shouldn't have cared. There were far more important things to tend to, obviously. L was in the middle of the Kira investigation, for god's sake, working with just six other people, one of which he was almost completely sure was the internationally feared murderer himself. That was what should have been on his mind. And anyways, you were an adult. You were intelligent and resourceful and every bit as capable as he. If harm befell you, L had very little doubt that you wouldn't be able to make your way out. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself that what was going on around him was significantly more pressing, something in him just wouldn't accept that. There was an annoying nagging in the back of his mind reminding him that you still weren't back.

L really couldn't stand you leaving to begin with. What did you need to go shopping for Watari for, anyway? The man looked just fine in his professional attire, L thought. But you had insisted that Watari needed more up-to-date clothing and a wider selection of outfits in general, and L, knowing it would be useless to argue with you, had simply let you leave. But it couldn't possibly take that long to buy clothes for a man three times your age, right? Then again, L wouldn't know. He'd never even set foot in a shopping center- his trusty white shirt and blue jeans had served him just fine for years. Why had he even gotten in a relationship to begin with? If he had never met you, he wouldn't have to feel this way. That would have been much more preferable.

Oh, please. He didn't mean a word of that and it was impossible to convince himself that he did. L knew he was really starting to panic if he was thinking like this.

The members of the task force themselves also seemed to notice your absence despite them not knowing you very well. The loss of the atmosphere of arrogance and lack of sarcastic remarks was not missed by anyone- which prompted the most eager (and the most tone-deaf) member of the group, Matsuda, to ask about your extended absence.

"Hey, L- I mean, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda carefully stepped towards the detective, whose blank expression was beginning to falter. "You know, Y/N's been gone a while... do you think everything's okay?"

So even Matsuda had noticed, L realized. That didn't seem good- but he was determined to keep it together, and he definitely didn't feel like talking about it with Matsuda.

"She's fine," L replied, a little too sharply, and Matsuda backed up a bit. "That's unimportant right now. How close are we to formulating a plan to infiltrate Yotsuba directly?"

"Oh- yeah. My bad." Matsuda scurried away, leaving L to mull over your whereabouts. Assuming shopping wasn't supposed to take this long as he'd suspected, there were several possibilities. Perhaps you'd been taken was one he was a bit concerned about- you didn't look very strong at first glance, and of course most people would consider you quite attractive. But L more doubted this than didn't- you weren't an inexperienced fighter, and you were more than capable of fighting off anyone that approached you the wrong way.

Next thought- maybe there had been a situation at the shop you'd gone to? Maybe someone had burst through the door with a gun and held everyone hostage- but L didn't think that was likely, either. Japan was so strict about who could have a gun that it was almost impossible for a regular citizen to obtain one- and definitely not someone crazy enough to hold a bunch of people hostage. Third scenario.

Okay, removing all ideas of foul play- there were lots of potential reasons why you weren't back yet that didn't involve you getting kidnapped or killed. Maybe you just ran into a friend at the store and stuck around with them to catch up. Maybe traffic was just bad- it had been drizzling all day, anyway. He knew you had a penchant for things like trees and birds- perhaps you had just stopped at a nearby park or something.

Wait- what if you'd run into someone else? A new person? Someone who wasn't so... reclusive. Quirky. Reserved. Odd. L wouldn't be surprised if you had just found someone you fancied more- someone like you had tons of options, more than L cared to admit at the moment. Maybe you'd wanted to get away from him for once and accepted a date request from this other person. Maybe you'd found them fun, fascinating, attractive. Someone like that would probably be much appreciated by you when all you did was spend time with L and his... personality.

L decided to stop himself there. He was going to worry himself into a frenzy if he kept that up. No, next.

Maybe Watari's wardrobe actually did need updating- and badly, for you to be gone this long. When was the last time L had seen the elderly man out of that stately suit and hat, anyway...?

"Ryuzaki?"

L snapped out of his thoughts and slowly spun around in his chair to face Detective Yagami, who was eyeing L with a furrowed brow. "Is everything alright? You seem to be in a bit of a trance..."

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." L averted his eyes and waved his hand dismissively, turning back around before Soichiro saw his normally calm visage waver. Unfortunately, Soichiro's son stood right beside his father; L could feel Light's eyes burning into the back of his head.

"Dad's right; you seem a little off," Light added, stepping around L's chair so that he could see L's face. "We're making pretty good progress with Yotsuba, if that's what you're worried about- we've got a couple of leads-"

"That's good." L interrupted, and Light cocked his head at the detective, a little put off. "Keep it up."

Light turned around and began to wander back over to the rest of the task force, watching L's back from the corner of his eye. When he was face-to-face with his colleagues again, he brought up L's unusual demeanor, lowering his voice. "I know this might not be a great time, but have you all noticed anything a little odd about Ryuzaki today?"

Soichiro nodded in agreement. "Yes, I have... he seems a bit- dare I say- distracted." He kept his voice barely audible as to not attract the attention of the enigmatic detective just a few feet away from where the group was huddled.

"I noticed it too; it's unlike him," Aizawa added in a businesslike tone. "Although I'd rather stay on task than discuss Ryuzaki, it's honestly unsettling..."

"He must be very much so if we can tell," Light decided. "I mean, Ryuzaki obviously hides a lot under the surface- so if we can see it, something must be really bothering him."

"I know, right?" Matsuda exhaled, seeming relieved that he hadn't been the only one that had noticed L's unusual behavior. "I even went and asked him about it."

"Straight out?" Soichiro looked startled. "Matsuda, good grief."

"No, no- not straight straight out," Matsuda hurriedly amended, shaking his head wildly. "I just asked him about Y/N, and he kind of snapped at me and I came back over here," he explained quickly.

Light snapped his fingers, coming to a realization. "Of course- Y/N is what's worrying him. Have you noticed how long it's been since we've heard from her? Ryuzaki must be fretting over her whereabouts."

Soichiro turned to Light, an understanding expression on his face as he thought over this. "Right. We already know the two of them have... a relationship of sorts, so it's only natural for someone to be concerned- especially someone like Ryuzaki."

"I can't imagine why he'd be very worried about her," Aizawa scoffed. "Y/N seems more than capable to me."

"Still, he's worried. Normal human emotions!" Matsuda announced triumphantly, throwing his arms into the air.

The other three men collectively facepalmed.

Matsuda dropped his arms, puzzled. "Wha-?" Confusedly, he turned around- and was met with the startling sight of Ryuzaki's wide eyes staring right back at him.

"Agh!" Matsuda instantly whirled back around and squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment as the other task force members glared at him, annoyed.

"Again- good grief, Matsuda," Soichiro snapped under his breath, and Matsuda dared to open his eyes a smidge to give the older man a sheepish smile.

"My bad, Chief..."

Luckily for the group, Ryuzaki didn't budge from his chair, instead having turned back around to fidget aimlessly with the mouse of his computer. Of course, the lack of reprimand for the group being off task was not lost on the men, who goggled in shock at Ryuzaki and then Matsuda, who seemed just as appalled as everyone else.

"Uh- why didn't he get mad again?" Aizawa asked, brow furrowed.

"Beats me..." Matsuda glanced one more time at Ryuzaki before turning to face the others with wide eyes. "Okay, he's totally freaking out about Y/N, right? He has to be."

"I guess that's the only conclusion," Light agreed, looking uncertain. "But if the guy running this whole operation is distracted, what are we supposed to do to help?"

"Ah, you're right- that may be a problem," Soichiro affirmed nervously. "But this is Ryuzaki- I'm really at a loss for what to do here."

The group stood in thoughtful silence for a couple of minutes, wondering how to fix this problem.

Matsuda suddenly snapped his head up. "Hey, let's cheer him up!" he suggested gleefully, making sure to keep his voice hushed this time.

The rest of the task force reacted accordingly to this idea.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, come on- you heard me," Matsuda enthused, his expression brightening. "If we can make him feel better, he won't be distracted, and we can get things going again!"

"Sounds like a pipe dream," Aizawa jutted in scornfully.

"Not if we pull it off."

"And the chance of that is...?" Light prompted sarcastically before folding his arms across his chest and letting out an exasperated breath. "I really think we ought to just leave him be. Y/N will be back soon, more than likely, and he'll be just fine."

"Still," Matsuda insisted. "We're just being nice! And it's super weird seeing Ryuzaki like this, anyway... so why not?"

"And how would you suggest we go about that, Matsuda?" Soichiro queried, his tone skeptical as well.

Matsuda eyed both Yagamis curiously. "You've never cheered anybody up before when they're down? Just tell him that there's nothing to worry about- but in a lot more words than that."

"Okay, Matsuda, quick reminder that this is Ryuzaki." Aizawa arched a brow dubiously.

"Yeah, well, Ryuzaki or not, he's still a human being."

"But do we know that for sure?" Now both eyebrows were raised.

"Okay, okay." Light held up two hands, silencing the two men. "You know what, Matsuda? We'll try it, just to humor you. But if this doesn't go as planned..."

"Thanks, Light! Don't worry, it'll be fine- come on, guys!" Matsuda, apparently having no qualms at all, began strolling right towards Ryuzaki, leaving the other men no choice but to follow him.

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Soichiro murmured beneath his breath.

"With Matsuda? It's kind of a gamble," Light told his father as the group approached L, who turned around upon hearing the men behind him. Seeming a little caught off guard, L cocked his head at them, eyeing each in turn. "Is something the matter?"

Light, Soichiro, and Aizawa all awkwardly mumbled different things in unison, the general idea being that Matsuda was the one who forced them over here. Matsuda, however, paid no mind to the others and flashed a somewhat pitiful smile at L, who blinked in confusion.

"Actually- we were wondering-"

"You were wondering," Aizawa interjected sharply.

Matsuda huffed. "Okay, I was mostly wondering- but they were too- if you were doing okay?"

L continued to look confused. "Doing okay?"

"Like, uh, we were wondering if you were feeling alright. If something was wrong?" Matsuda sputtered, chuckling awkwardly after every few words, the task force behind him grimacing as L glanced towards them.

"I am alright. Thank you for asking. Now wh-"

"But are you really, though?" Matsuda cut him off abruptly, wringing his hands nervously. "I- what I mean is-"

Finally, Light, seeing that if they allowed Matsuda to go on he would say the wrong thing, interrupted Matsuda himself. "To be honest, we've noticed that your behavior has been a little out of the ordinary since Y/N left a while ago. To put it simply, we're curious as to if she is the reason for this."

Matsuda sent Light a grateful look as Light stepped back slightly with a wince. Meanwhile, L just watched the group, apparently waiting for the next person to talk.

"Of course, we don't mean to be invasive," Soichiro clarified, deciding to help the pair that had just spoken. "We'd just like to know if you need us to do anything." Aizawa, not knowing how to add on, just affirmed Soichiro's words with a firm nod.

L sighed, seeming exasperated, and the entire task force collectively cringed, hoping their words hadn't come off the wrong way.

"If you must know..." L finally spun around, his gaze not meeting anyone else's. "I am a bit concerned as to where Y/N may be right now. There's no need to walk on eggshells- you all are already aware that we have a bit of a relationship, so please, don't look so nervous."

Nobody relaxed.

"I appreciate your concern, but really, it's unnecessary," L insisted. "I'm just a little worried. Everything is fine."

"Can't be if we can tell something's wrong," Matsuda countered, and L's probing gaze instantly shot up to look at him. Matsuda faltered some before continuing on. "Well, I mean, you never show any emotions ever, so... I mean..."

L arched a brow, but his response wasn't what Matsuda expected. "Excellent deduction."

"Well, I'm sure she'll be back soon," Light chimed in, a little weirded out by the whole situation, but trying to be reassuring anyway. "Y/N certainly isn't helpless- I'm not suspecting any foul play, so I hope that's not what you're worried about."

The words sounded strange coming from Light's mouth- Ryuzaki, worried about someone? His thoughts on humanity as a whole were pretty straightforward: trust nobody, they're only "cunning monsters," so forth. But it seemed L didn't feel that way about everyone.

"I agree," Soichiro added, sounding tentative. "It's probably traffic or something similar that's keeping her. I'm sure there isn't any need to worry."

L didn't reply to either Yagami, only looking up at them with just a hint of uncertainty on his face. "Mm... do you think so?"

"To be honest, you never know with women." Aizawa shrugged flippantly, trying to lighten the mood some. "They say they'll be back in an hour and you don't see them for five, they say 'fine' when they actually want you dead, all of that. Y/N's probably still... what was she doing?... shopping or something. Wouldn't be surprised if she just wanted to 'look around' a little more- and apparently, that's not a slow process with them."

Now L actually looked lost. Meanwhile, the other task force members slowly lifted their gazes towards Aizawa, equally questioning expressions on their faces.

"Uh... thanks for the information... I guess?" Matsuda squinted at his coworker, bewildered.

Aizawa pursed his lips unapologetically. "I tried."

Matsuda blinked before turning back to L. "Okay- so why exactly are you so worried? What do you think might have happened?" He spun around to face Light. "Hey, Light, you have a girlfriend- what would you be worried about besides for foul play?"

Light's expression dulled at the mention of Misa Amane. "Can't say I'd be worried," he answered listlessly. "When she isn't with me and she's out in public, she has a couple of bodyguards with her a lot of the time."

Matsuda coughed awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, right. Uh- well, if you don't mind, Light, if Misa-Misa was my girlfriend, I'd be worried that she'd find somebody else to be with!" He laughed nervously, putting a hand behind his head. "I mean, it would just seem like she had a bunch of other, way better options for a boyfriend." He looked back down at Ryuzaki, who blinked up at Matsuda with an odd expression. "Maybe you're worried about something similar? That she ran off with a random guy or something?"

L was silent for a few seconds before responding. "...maybe. But if that were true, I'd be more worried about foul play than Y/N deciding to leave with no warning. That would be out of character."

"Huh- I guess you're right; that would be kinda weird." Matsuda stuck out his lower lip in thought.

Now Soichiro spoke up. "Forgive me if this is offensive, but... knowing you, I'd expect you had something like a tracking device on her- honesty, I'm a little bit surprised you don't."

"Yes, I know, and normally I would," L sighed. "However, I was specifically asked not to, so I refrained..."

"It's okay," Aizawa offered. "I mean, it's a lot better than you doing it anyway and her finding out later."

L nodded halfheartedly.

"If you're really concerned, Ryuzaki, you could let us go out and try to look for her," Matsuda suggested helpfully. "Especially since we're sort of way off task already..."

"A search? Now?" Light queried, eyeing Matsuda skeptically.

"Yeah? Why not? It's not like we'll be able to focus now, anyway." Matsuda shrugged casually.

"Now isn't the best time," Soichiro interjected, siding with his son as usual. "Of course, this is still the Kira investigation..."

"Actually, I'm with Matsuda on this one- for once," Aizawa cut in. "We won't be able to really do our best work if Y/N's on our minds. It'd be best if we just went out and got her already."

"Didn't we establish that Y/N is perfectly capable of handling herself?" Light countered. "She'll come back when she comes back. There's more important things at hand."

"My son is right," Soichiro affirmed. "Matsuda- please think twice before dragging us all somewhere next time..."

"But, chief- you guys agreed to help cheer up Ryuzaki so we could get back on task!" Matsuda protested. "Of course, sir, no disrespect."

"Cheer me up?" L glanced up at Matsuda questioningly.

"Yeah, this was a team decision," Aizawa challenged. "If we hadn't come over here, we would have just spent the whole time wondering about Ryuzaki."

"You could have just asked me-" L tried to cut in.

"Are my father and I the only ones capable of focusing on the task at hand?" Light demanded, his tone growing agitated and the atmosphere tense. "Why are we worrying about an issue that will just resolve itself?"

"What if- but what if it didn't?" Matsuda sputtered, a little caught off guard at the change in Light's normally cool demeanor. "There's always the risk that-"

"Again," Soichiro interrupted, his voice still calm, "Y/N can tend to herself. We've already eliminated the possibility of these 'risks.'"

The discussion quickly began to devolve into chaos, the task force members at odds and L unable to get in a single word.

"But there's still a chance-"

"Y/N can take care of herself!"

"There's nothing wrong with making sure."

"It isn't like we're gonna get anything done at this point!"

"You realize this isn't an everyday investigation, right?"

"Everyone, please-"

"You're doing nothing but drowning everybody out at this point!"

"I don't see why you're so against this idea!"

"I could say the same for you!"

"Please-"

"Hey."

Everyone stopped in their tracks, the room suddenly silent as your voice echoed through the room. Casually, you made your way towards the others, arms full of shopping bags and oblivious to the chaos that had just ceased.

"Hello, everyone- what did I miss?" You looked around the room, your eyes coming to a stop at the task force still in their arguing stances, your boyfriend shrouded by their silhouettes.

You arched a brow. "Okay, why is everyone looking at me like that?'

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Reaching For The Cloud Layer

Series: A Study In Spite || Part Two

Word Count: 10,500 (I aimed for 5,000 and missed.)

Summary: Kol Mikaelson takes you on a coffee date and it's nothing like you could have expected... But maybe that's not such a bad thing. || Kol x reader || Here lies my Masterlist

Warnings: More disrespect for parents??? Oh, also Kol being Kol. But mostly just fluffy fluff!

A/N: Sorry guys, part two of the Elijah fic is taking longer than expected. There was an error with the document so that just sucks. (Forgive me, I'm working with a 2013 laptop I got for free at a junk sale.)

☕STORY BEGINS BELOW ☕

Your alarm went off at seven thirty in the morning - an atrocity as far as you were concerned, seeing as you had already graduated high school, thus ridding yourself of any reason to get up before ten. Though, why anyone else would bother to set your alarm clock was beyond you so you must have been the one to orchestrate such a crime. 

What in the blue cheese had you been thinking? 

Eh, you’d figure it out later - after another four hours of sleep at the very least. Though you wouldn’t be able to get any of those hours if that awful alarm kept up its racket. 

The sheer willpower it took to fling your arm over and smack the annoying thing was rather awe-inspiring. Unfortunately for you, however; it tumbled off the nightstand and rolled across the floor, continuing its obnoxious screeching. Now, you actually had to get up in order to silence the infernal device. You did so with a groan, rolling your only partially animated corpse out of bed only to land face-first on the floor with an unceremonious thump. 

Life sucks. 

Crawling over to where the alarm clock had rolled to a stop, you smacked the dismiss button and sighed in relief at the blessed silence that followed. Then you collapsed to the floor with every intention to pass out right on the spot. Why had you ever set an alarm for yourself in the first place? What a stupid-

Oh, yeah…

That’s right.

You had a date.

A coffee date with the psychotic prince of hell. How frickin’ outstanding. So, the better question was not why you had set the alarm, but rather why you had agreed to such an outing in the first place. You definitely won the World's Biggest Idiot award for the day.

Well, at least it was only a coffee date, you assured yourself as you scraped your useless heap of limbs off the floor and redirected them into the bathroom. You had showered the night before - thank heaven - so you just needed to change and arrange your face into something that looked remotely human. As you did that, you thought over your survival strategy.

After having arranged the aforementioned coffee date - and regretting it almost immediately - you had spent the better part of your night knee-deep in research. If you were going to do something stupid then it was probably better to be informed about it, right? So, you had scoured both your ancestor's journals for any information you could find about the bloodthirsty demon who would be buying your cup of joe. 

In the end, you had come up with distressingly little. There wasn't too much anyone actually knew about the silver-tongued monster you had agreed to spend your morning with, but you did know three things for certain. 

You could not, under any circumstance, depend on Kol Mikaelson to do anything. Namely, to refrain from murdering you.

If he chose to end your life, there would be nothing you could do to stop him.

At the very least - and that is to say, only when push comes to absolute shove - Kol Mikaelson was a man of his word. Which really only meant he was insanely good at exploitation.

You cringed, shivering as you realized just how close to the Twilight premise your internal monologue had just come. Disgusting. 

Anyway, you were - in the words of the t-shirt you had decided to wear beneath your sweater - Shitte Kneedeep Inn and sinking quickly. As you got ready, you debated in your mind any possible strategies you could use to get out of your commitment. (You had a feeling that telling him you had changed your mind might not go over too well. He would probably convince you to go with him anyway.) 

After about fifteen minutes, you had successfully applied enough make-up to look less dead and had narrowed down your options to simply ending the date as fast as possible, when your younger brother stumbled into the bathroom to get ready for school. Mystic Falls Middle started at nine - lucky kid. Yet, he was still dead on his feet, much like you.

You turned to him. “Hey, my dude. Welcome to the land of the living. Quick, what would happen if I straight chugged a cup of coffee fresh outta the machine with no regard for my fragile mortality?” You quizzed, watching him expectantly. 

He stared at you for a moment, trying to remember how to replicate the speech of a fully functional human being. “Uh, pretty sure it’d get you dead,” He said. You made a somewhat rude noise and went back to braiding your hair. After a few more minutes spent trying to wake up, your brother seemed to notice that you were there instead of in bed where you normally were at such a time during the week. “Wait, where’re you goin’, stupid-sauce?” He yawned, blinking at the offensive light of the bathroom vanity. 

You grimaced. “I’ve got a date.”

“Mom an’ dad are letting you go on dates now?” The kid tilted his head. “Since when?”

“Since never,” You mumbled.

“Are you sneaking out?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna pretend to go to a friend’s house?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna sneak him in here?” Y/B/N asked, brows raised in confusion that bordered on being impressed.

You gawked at him. “Wha- No!” You shook your head and sighed. “He’s taking me out for coffee and I’m going to make sure mom and dad see it. They need to start acknowledging my life choices.” 

Even if those life choices are positively dunce-cap worthy, you thought.

“Ooohhhhhh, Y/N/N’s in loooooooove,” He mocked in a high-pitched voice, waggling his eyebrows at you. “Who is he?”

“Just some guy,” You muttered, shrugging. Your brother didn’t know about the supernatural yet, and you intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. You hated lying to him though. 

“Well, is he hot?”

Your cheeks reddened against your will. It wasn’t your fault! For a blood-sucking leach, Kol was pretty freaking gorgeous. “Kinda.”

"Hey, HEY!" He sobered in an instant. “Mom and dad are gonna kill you, ya’ know,” He said as he flicked off the lights and followed you downstairs.

“I know.” 

“Five bucks says they’re waiting for you in the kitchen.”

“Oh, undoubtedly.”

He was quick to position himself behind you as you sauntered into the kitchen. The two of you had been right. Sitting at the kitchen table with breakfast set out in front of them while they awaited your arrival, were your mother and father. You slapped a very fake smile onto your face and pulled out your chair. 

“I just wanna say that I have no association with this woman whatsoever,” Your younger brother announced, moving to sit as well.

“We’re not mad at your sister, sweetie. We just want to have a little talk, is all,” Your mother said, patting his arm. You rolled your eyes but then she turned her attention to you. “Now, Y/N. I know you feel like your father and I have been really hard on you recently, but that’s only because we love and care about you so much. We just want you to have the best life you possibly can.”

“You mean the life you want me to live - the one where I do everything you want me to and nothing else,” You surmised, nodding. “Yeah that sounds like a lot of bull-crap.”

“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Your father warned. “We’re not trying to argue with you.”

“O’course not.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm. “Yeah, you just want me to give up and roll over, right?"

“That's not true, we-”

“Oh, yeah!” You pretended as though you suddenly remembered something. “You do want me to fight! You want me to fight so I can live up to your le-” You hesitated, catching your near slip up before something very bad happened. “Er, dreams because you think you can’t.”

Your mother frowned, reaching for your hand but you drew it away. “Y/N…” She entreated. “We understand that you want to make your own choices. But you have responsibilities to consider and we just want you to be safe.”

“Wow.” You blinked slowly. “Man, y’all make it sound like I’m trying to get sexually active or something.” Yeah, that’s right. You had graduated high school without ever having done the devil’s tango with some underage jock with no respect for you or your body. 

Your little brother pretended to gag.

“This is not how we raised our children to talk,” Your father said. You just rolled your eyes, though he didn’t take very kindly to that. “Oh, really? You wanna roll your eyes at me? That’s fine! You’re grounded for the rest of the day!”

You opened your mouth just as the doorbell rang. 

He was here. Suddenly that didn’t seem like such a bad thing. 

You smirked. “Try telling that to the guy at the door.”

Watching the color drain from your parent’s faces as their heads turned towards the door brought you more joy than it should have. Your mother composed herself first, which was quite a surprise seeing as she was usually the skittish one in your family.

“Y/N… please tell me that’s not what I think it is.” She strained to keep her voice calm, though you couldn’t help but notice that she still said what instead of who - even in front of your little brother. Y/B/N didn’t notice however, he was too busy devouring his pancakes. 

“Do you want to go get it or should I?” You asked, leaning forward with the same smugly challenging smile you had seen Kol use on your parents at his family’s ball. The one that dared them to break the status quo. You held the withering glares of both your parents for what felt like ten minutes but was probably only one. It wasn’t that you liked disobeying them - they just needed to acknowledge that you weren’t a child anymore. A sharp rapping, that of a fist on wood came from the door. “Better decide quick.” You leaned back in your seat. “I don’t think he’s gonna knock again.”

“What’s he gonna do?” Your little brother wondered, looking up from his pancakes curiously. 

“Hard to say,” You answered, somewhat honestly. “The bastard’s committed.”

The squeal of your father’s chair against the kitchen tile just made your smirk widen as he got up and moved for the hall closet where he kept his shotgun. The thing had been loaded ever since the council had gotten confirmation that vampires had returned to Mystic Falls.

“Really?” You scoffed. “That’s what you’re gonna do about this? Man, you guys are  more committed to your egos than I thought.”

You stood to follow after your father, shaking off your mother’s hand when she reached out to stop you. Your father cocked the shotgun and pulled the front door open, quick to point the barrel straight into the face of the boy standing on the step. 

Kol Mikaelson grinned, but it didn’t look like an expression of happiness in any form. It looked like a threat, like the bared teeth of a vicious predator about to tear out the throat of a lesser, puny, scurrying, little lamb.

“Good morning,” He greeted. His tone was perfectly polite - friendly even - it didn’t match his expression as he pushed the barrel of your father’s gun out of his face with one finger. You could see your father’s muscles straining. He was a deputy on the police force of Mystic falls and he was exerting all his might to fight back, but he was no match and Kol clearly wasn’t even trying. He acted as though this were perfectly normal and your parents had no idea what he was. “I don’t know if your daughter told you, but I’m supposed to be taking her for coffee… right about now actually. Is she ready?" He grinned boyishly. "If not, you can always invite me in to wait.”

“You’re not taking her anywhere,” Your father growled, teeth grinding.

Kol leaned forward, lowering his voice. Your brother in the kitchen wouldn’t hear. 

“Yes, I am.”

His lips twisted into that smug smile. The one you’d learned from him. 

Your mother caught your shoulder, whirling you around to face her. The expression on her face bordered on hysterical, her eyes as wide as saucers. “So this is where you were yesterday?” She hissed. “You were with that thing?”

“Yes, she was, Mrs. L/N,” Kol replied for you. He turned his head to stare directly at your mother, bearing his teeth. “We had quite the lovely afternoon. Didn’t we, darling?” His eyes flicked to you and he made no effort to hide the lust in his eyes as he raked them up and down your body. You curled your lip in utter disgust until he sent you two quick winks. Then you caught on.

You shrugged, playing along. "I mean, if you pestering me for two hours straight is what you consider fun, then yeah."

He chuckled, shrugging innocently. "Fair enough, love. Are you ready to go?"

"More than ready," You replied, moving towards the door. Your father blocked your path, glaring daggers at you.

"You are not leaving this house."

You stared him down. "Outta my way… dad." He'd stopped being your dad as soon as he'd started seeing you as his soldier.

"No." He spat. "No, you're not going with this lunatic."

"Oh, yeah?" You sneered, gesturing towards Kol. "Well, l'll invite this lunatic inside right now if you don't move.”

His complexion paled. Then his mouth pressed into a thin line and he stepped out of your way. You had been positive he would put up more of a fight. 

Your foot crossed the threshold of the door and you heard your mother gasp as you moved to stand next to Kol. Turning back to your parents, you met your father’s icy expression with a thin smile.

Your father nodded. "I hope you're happy with where that choice leaves you.”

“I’m sure she will be,” Kol chimed in, grinning as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and drew you in against his side. He twisted a lock of your hair around his finger and you did your best not to flinch as the boy - no, not boy, vampire - leaned in close and traced his lips along your cheek in the lightest, sweetest, kiss possible. To your surprise… it wasn’t actually that bad. You couldn’t help the blush that stained your cheeks. Kol’s lips were really soft and warmer than you thought those of a reanimated corpse should have been. You almost wanted him to do it again… almost. “You look exquisite this morning, darling,” He murmured into your ear. The smirk that adorned his lips was downright sinful as he pulled away from you, inhaling deeply and squeezing your shoulders with a voracious hum. “And you smell like a treat,” He added, just loud enough for your parents to hear.

You tried your best to play along, withholding the grimace that wanted to make its way onto your face. Every time you started to like him just the smallest fraction, he went and did something like that. You knew he was acting to infuriate your parents but was it all just acting, or was there some truth to his words?

You rolled your eyes. “Yes the first and thanks to the second, but it’s gonna have to be a hard no on that last one,” You said, passing him a very fake smile. 

He grinned. “Three pints says I can make it a yes by the end of the day.”

You were going to brush him off but something stopped you. Honestly, if you were going down the warpath of stupid for the day, why not travel the whole way down it? Even if you lost the bet, it wasn’t like losing three pints of blood would kill you.

“You know what? I think I’ll take that bet,” You decided, meeting his eyes. “You’re on, Mikaelson.”

For a split second, you caught his genuine reaction. Surprise mainly… but there was a hint of excitement buried beneath it that reminded you once again of just how little you could trust him.

“Well, aren’t you just full of surprises.” Then he covered that all back up with his cheeky, dangerous smirk, turning back to your parents whose expressions held nothing but disgust. “Anyway, we’ll just be getting out of your hair now - after all,  I’d hate to overstay my welcome. But don’t worry, I’ll have her back here…” Kol pretended to debate it with himself, and shrugged. “Eh, sometime later. I’m not sure yet, we’ll see what happens. Though, I’m sure that when I bring her back, you will receive your daughter with open arms, yes?”

“Keep her for all I care,” Your father snorted, shaking his head. “She’s no daughter of mine. Not anymore.”

Kol hissed. “Sorry, mate - wrong answer.” He leaned forward again, lowering his voice to a mutter. “Why don’t you try again, and this time remember that these walls you live in are brilliantly flammable under the right conditions.”

“You’re despicable.” Your mother’s voice trembled but Kol just shrugged happily. 

“Aren’t I just?” He turned his eyes back on your father, the dangerous gleam in them never fading for a second. “I do hope your answer changes by the time we get back, otherwise I’d advise fleeing the state.” 

Then he turned away, urging you to move with him as he descended the steps of your front porch. Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, he could barely contain the smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. As soon as the door slammed shut behind you, Kol threw his head back and laughed. His arm around your shoulders tightened some and you went along with it because you knew your parents were still watching from the windows.

Reluctantly, you admitted, Kol had a nice laugh. It was one of those laughs that are just so genuine, that you simply can’t help but join in. A grin tempted your lips and you let yourself succumb to it, basking in the election that flooded your soul as you realized that you could do whatever you wanted now. You could do anything. You were free! So, you laughed.

“Did you see their faces?” Kol exclaimed. His hand moved down your arm and back up in a familiarly affectionate motion. You didn’t stop him because you sort of liked it. “Your father especially, his was priceless! Bloody hell, now I wish I had a picture.”

You huffed a laugh, nodding your agreement.

It was the oddest thing -  just how quickly his entire demeanor changed as soon as it was only you who could see him. It made you wonder which side of him was the act. Perhaps they both were.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to take one for you when I get back,” You chuckled. “So are we walking to get coffee, or…”

“Nah.” Kol tilted his head, gesturing towards the road. You glanced in said direction and the laughter died in your throat. 

Of course, he rode to your house on a motorcycle.

You turned back to him. “I’m not getting on that thing.”

“Relax, darling!” He grinned. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Not as far as I could chuck your corpse,” You deadpanned. "Which isn't very far, all things considered." 

"How gracious of you."

"You're welcome."

Kol rolled his eyes. "It's just for show, love. I parked my car about a kilometer away. Besides, I can hear your mother ranting about it already, just let your parents see you get on."

You pulled away to evaluate him. "You really are a pro at this, aren't you?"

“We all have our hobbies.” He shrugged. From off the back of the bike, he picked up a helmet and offered it to you. “My lady?”

You huffed a laugh and took the helmet from him, pulling it on over your head. The visor, you noted after flicking it down, was tinted Y/F/C and the outside was mirrored. You sent the boy a thumbs up and he grinned. Watching Kol climb onto the bike really shouldn’t have been as hot as it was but once he was on there you realized that the seat was much smaller than you had thought. You would be sitting really close.

“Any day now, darling,” He drawled.

Rolling your eyes, you straddled the bike, keeping yourself as far away from him as possible. Heat rushed to your face but you did your best to ignore it.

 “Okay, I’m on,” You huffed. 

“You might want to hold onto something,” The boy advised without looking back. You could hear the smirk in his voice. Bastard. You delicately placed your hands on his shoulders. It was frustrating because all your brain could seem to think about was how he had looked at you earlier - the sensation of his lips ghosting over your skin. Kol glanced at you over his shoulder, raising a brow pointedly at the feather-light grip you kept. “That is an excellent way to fall off.”

He didn’t say anything else. No, that passive-aggressive bastard just kicked up the stand and started adjusting the mirrors.

You clenched your jaw, sighing heavily. You were going to have to do it, weren’t you? The very thing you had been dreading. You were going to have to do it.

Despite every single neuron in your brain screaming that you shouldn’t, you leaned forward and wound your arms around his waist. His reflection in the mirrors bit back a smirk.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking it.” 

He just laughed, shaking his head. “Whatever you say, darling.” It startled you just how human the expression on his face seemed.

“You’re just loving this, aren’t you?” You grumbled.

“Little bit, yeah.”

He released the clutch, revved the throttle, and the bike launched forward. You had to squeeze his waist to avoid being thrown off and you knew that the high pitch scream of sheer unadulterated terror that sprung from you would only supply him more ammo with which to mock you later. 

Stirred into tiny tornadoes by the bike's crisp wake, hundreds of autumn leaves danced around you in the air. The helmet shielded your face from the wind as it whipped around you, attacking your clothes and hair with a ferociousness that, combined with the insane and dangerous, yet ever-increasing velocity at which you were tearing down the quiet, deserted streets of Mystic Falls, ignited something within you. A spark - a passion for life you hadn't felt for far too long - bloomed inside your chest, pushing outward and demanding freedom. The scream in your throat morphed into a laugh, equal parts thrilled and hysterical. Something bright and spectacular flooded your veins and you sat up a little straighter, letting the tension you'd felt brewing in your bones for so long finally find its release in the holler of glee that burst out of you as the sun bathed your skin and the crisp air of a fading summer pushed through your lungs.

Then came the turn.

Kol put up no pretenses of hitting the brakes before rounding a corner; he took it at full speed, leaning into the turn with all the caution of a daredevil. You shrieked, clutching onto him tighter than you would have ever thought yourself capable of, though he didn't exactly seem to mind. Despite the rush of the wind in your ears, you could still catch the laughter that escaped his lips.

The bike’s sudden halt when he applied the brakes was only slightly less jarring than a collision with a brick wall. It tossed you into Kol’s back, though that couldn’t exactly do much seeing as your entire body was already wrapped around him as tight as was humanly possible. Your heart pounded against your rib cage, your blood buzzed like soda in your veins, and you could feel every muscle trembling. Yet, for the first time in over a year, that twisting in your gut didn’t feel like fear. It felt like elation and you felt powerful. Life finally felt worth paying attention to.

“We’ve stopped moving,” Kol informed you gently. You felt him place his hand over yours which were still clutching onto him for dear life. He ran that hand up and down your forearm comfortingly, trailing his fingertips along your skin and the air around you wasn’t cold enough to be the culprit of the tingling flesh they left behind. “Darling?” 

The concern in his tone sounded genuine. Something about it made the grin on your cheeks split wider, knowing he couldn’t see. Because it sounded so real and human and somehow that idea didn’t seem so impossible anymore. Nothing did.

“Yeah, yeah, I know… I’m good!” You assured him with a laugh. “Jus’need’a… Just need a second. Just need to-to catch my breath.”

“Are you sure?” He laughed along with you and your cheeks blazed a shade warmer as you felt him tangle his fingers with yours. Kol was a vampire -  you struggled to remember that - and you shouldn’t have liked what he was doing. The way he touched you shouldn’t have been as thrilling as your first time riding a motorcycle, but it was. You shouldn’t have liked it, but you did.

Kol’s touch was like mentos and soda.

Fizzy, sweet, ill-considered fun.

“I honestly cannot move my limbs right now,” You cackled, gloriously, brilliantly mad with excitement.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Kol groaned teasingly. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those clingy girlfriends.”

You grinned and finally managed to detach one arm from around his midsection so you could smack him on the shoulder. “Oh, gimme a break! It’s my first time on one of these crazy death contraptions,” You said as you climbed off the bike, walking around it to lean against the hood of a convertible that had to be his. Kol followed, somehow managing to keep his grip on your hand as he did. He held your hand so gently, almost as if he hoped you would forget he had it and just maybe, you thought, it might be okay for him to keep it for a little longer. “And don’t act like you didn’t love every second of that.”

He shrugged, smirking. “I do love listening to your heart race.” The smile he offered you was astoundingly youthful - flirtatious, but not the least bit sinister. "Coffee?"

You rolled your eyes. "Alright, weirdo."

Once you were in the car, driving with the top down, you were quick to notice the direction he was taking you. He missed every turn that would lead him to one of Mystic Falls' less than stellar coffee shops and rather took the road out of town, onto the freeway. Not exactly a good notion to start the day off with but you didn't feel like being outrageously paranoid just yet. 

"The closest coffee shops were back there," You pointed out. The wind roared in your ears and you had to shout to be heard over it. "Ya missed 'em."

He smirked. "I know."

You laughed dryly. "You are kidnapping me, aren’t you? I knew it."

"Come now, darling," The boy drawled, flashing you a smile. "Have a little faith in me."

"Mmmm… nah."

Some other people might have found the need to shout over the wind annoying, but you simply enjoyed it. People had been berating you to be quiet your whole life, and though you knew Kol would have been able to hear you regardless of the wind, he never told you off. He just shouted along with you.

After an hour of driving, he pulled up to the window of a quaint little coffee shop in a town even smaller than yours. Despite not knowing the town by name, you knew where you were. Surrounding you was the epic grandeur of the Shenandoah mountain range. The town was one of a few much like it, located at the foot of the mountains, just outside the national park.

After getting your coffee and two muffins, Kol continued on the main road and turned off at the gate to the park. He actually paid to get in which surprised you, though you said nothing of it. As he took the turn onto the famous Skyline Drive, you couldn’t help the creepings of suspicion that began to overtake you. Checking your phone, the flashing symbol that warned of your lack of signal seemed to glare almost mockingly. 

“You’re not taking me all the way up here to kill me right?” You asked, attempting to keep the nerves out of your voice by sheer force of will. “I mean, I know you keep asking me to trust you and all… but I’m having kind of a hard time here.”

“Why is that?” He hummed. 

Despite your efforts, your nervous laugh did not escape his attention. “We’re out in the middle of nowhere, Kol. There’s no cell phone service out here. Great way to make sure I can’t call for help.”

The boy paused for a moment, blinking. “Alright, I’m going to be completely honest - I hadn’t thought about that until you brought it up.”

You huffed. “Right.”

“No, really,” He claimed, holding his hands up defensively. Then he frowned, seeming somewhat confused. “You can’t make calls from here?”

“Nope,” You said, flashing him a view of your phone’s screen and the warning displayed thereon. “No cell service, no calls.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty simple.”

The boy just shrugged. “I don’t know how cell phones work,” He admitted with an innocent expression that you tried to be annoyed by. You weren’t though. He was just… cute. Just cute.

“Well, how do I know that?” You wondered, though your tone was more playful than it had been.

Kol scoffed. “Now, now. I don’t think you’re being entirely fair here, darling.”

“I’m being completely fair!” You countered. “It’s not my fault that literally everything you’ve done this morning has been completely sketchy.”

“Sketchy?” His nose crinkled up and you couldn’t help noticing how cute it was. “What about this is sketchy?” The car slowed and he pulled it into a parking space at an overlook just off the Drive, motioning for you to get out. 

“Uh, everything?” 

“Ah! Not good enough!,” He insisted. “I want examples.” You went to grab the drinks and muffins but he took them from your hands, shrugging when you sent him a questioning look. “You’re going to want to have your hands free,” He explained.

You raised a brow incredulously but shook your head a moment later. Smirking, you started counting off on your fingers. “Well, there’s that, first of all. I mean, how is that not sketchy?”

“Wha- Because it’s not!” 

“Uh, huh… Let’s see then…” You pretended to think as you followed him towards a picnic table in the main overlook area.  “You took me on a motorcycle - actual stereotype sketchy move.”

“That was for show and therefore invalid,” He interrupted. “Continue.”

“You took me out of town without anybody knowing, including me.”

“That’s called a surprise, love!” He claimed, rolling his eyes. “Bloody hell, woman. Have you never had a birthday?”

“No, I’ve had them. I just don’t like surprises,” You claimed, placing your hands on your hips.

He shot you a very smug, very knowing look. “You’re a liar.” 

“No, I’m not,” You said. Having reached the picnic table, you aimed to take a seat but Kol placed a hand on your elbow. His touch couldn’t have been more gentle - it was the lightning it sent racing over your skin that caused you to jump. Instantly, he forced a smile and pulled his hand away. Yet, you felt yourself missing it. 

“We’re, um, we’re not stopping here.” He pressed his lips together and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder.

Kol was a vampire - you shouldn’t have wanted him to touch you. But when he looked at you with that twinge of disappointment in his eyes, there was a feeling in your stomach and it wasn’t the churning sensation of disgust. With that gentle touch and youthful charm, he was someone you could see yourself caring about if only he were human. But he wasn’t. 

Kol was a vampire - a despicable, soulless monster. You repeated that to yourself. Yet every time you struggled to remember it, you found yourself believing it a little less. Honestly, you didn’t want to. You didn’t want your worst fears about the boy next to you to be confirmed. Part of you did because that would be easy. It would be easy to write him off as nothing more than a monster. But what if he wasn’t? What if he really could make you happy?

“Oh…” You followed him over to a tiny footpath. The thing was hardly a foot and a half wide and it was steep, with rocks as pseudo steps, some of which dropped two feet, only adding to the decline. The end was made invisible by the thick foliage that encompassed it. You blinked and flicked your eyes from the path to Kol, to the path, and back, before fixing on the path. You pointed. “That looks like an excellent way to die.”

Kol laughed. “I assure you, darling, it’s perfectly safe.”

“Perfectly safe?” You questioned, crossing your arms. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to kill me.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you know better then, eh?” He grinned cheekily. 

You frowned. “By if I didn’t know better, I meant I do not, in fact, know better.”

“I would argue otherwise,” The boy said with a subtle smirk.

“I bet you would.”

He just shrugged, spreading his hands. “Seeing as all your points against me have thus far been proven invalid, the way I see it, you have no reason not to trust me.”

“First of all, Mr. Mikaelson, that’s a subjective statement,” You pointed out. “Second, I do my research, and none of it faired to your credibility. Third, if this right here isn’t the sketchiest thing ever, then I don’t know what is.”

He nodded, smirking in amusement as he leaned back on his heels. Something about it made the butterflies in your stomach take off. “Well, Miss. L/N, to your first point, somewhere deep, deep down, everybody likes surprises and that’s a fact. Second, biased research of biased accounts does not a fact make - and yes, I am aware of just how spectacularly that statement backfired as I said it. Lastly, I can think of much sketchier things than a hiking trail.”

“Well… okay.” You had to bite your tongue to withhold the snicker that threatened to escape. 

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m an original,” He warned, playfully nudging your shoulder.

“I’m definitely not laughing.”

“Really?” Kol rubbed his lip, doing his best to fight a smile as well. You felt warmer at the sight. “Do explain your point then,” He said.

“You really expect me to go down there with no safety railing, no clue what's waiting for me at the bottom, and not but your word that you won’t shove me to my death and claim it was an accident?” You surmised, raising a brow. “You can’t be serious.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Safety railings are for the incompetent, we die like lemmings and for your information, there’s a rocky outcropping - a cliff if you will - waiting at the bottom. Though, if I were to push you off it, I wouldn’t need to make it look like an accident.” Taking a couple of steps down the path, he smirked smugly and offered you his hand - the one that wasn’t holding the coffee and muffins. “I’ll say it again, darling. If I were going to kill you, that’s not how I would do it.”

You eyed his hand with no small measure of distrust. “You’re playing at something.” You narrowed your eyes and backed away. “What are you-”

“I’ll catch you.” He said. There was nothing but honesty in his eyes. Openhearted honesty. “Take my hand and if you trip, I’ll catch you. I would have offered as such from the beginning, but you seem to have an aversion to being touched by me.”

You bit your lip, hesitating. He just watched you and waited. It took a moment but you made your decision. You leveled a finger at him. “If you so much as-”

“I won’t let you fall,” Kol promised. His openness could only last so long, you supposed because a cheeky smile overtook his expression a moment later. “Well, unless it’s for me.”

You did your best to roll your eyes and ignore the bush that crept into your cheeks. Taking his hand, he gripped yours firmly and you took that first step. A pleasant fire spread up your arm with his touch. His hands seemed so soft and though you knew they were scarred with murder and deeds to evil to name, you couldn’t seem to find those scars as his thumb skimmed over the back of your hand and he whispered soft encouragements with each step you took. The ground was slightly slick from rain the previous night and as such, you slipped a few steps into the walk. Yet, Kol caught you and he kept his word. He didn’t let you fall. 

When you reached the trail’s end, only one word escaped your lips. 

“Wow…”

It was like something out of a movie. Layer after layer of mountains stretched off as far as the eye could see, one right after the other in an imperfect symmetry that was somehow just right. The vibrant colors of the trees made the valley in front of you seem as though it were on fire. Your vision was colored crimson and gold. Breathtaking isn’t a word strong enough to describe the view. You weren’t sure there was a word strong enough but you couldn’t think of one regardless, far too entranced by the exquisite majesty of the mountain range. You walked yourself to the edge of the cliff, not caring that there was nothing below you but a deadly fall. You just stood there, enamored by it all.

You didn’t hear Kol approach just behind you; yet, you didn’t jump when you felt his fingers begin delicately carding through your hair. He was close - too close - but somehow you didn’t mind. He must have set the drinks down somewhere because his other hand came to rest tentatively on your hip. You felt his breath on your neck - warmer than a dead boy’s should have been - but you didn’t flinch. Maybe you’d never quite understand why.

“Look up, darling,” Kol muttered softly. You did as you were told and gasped.

What had always been so far above you - so fascinating yet unattainable - was now just overhead. The ghostly wisps of the cloud layer skimmed over the mountain’s peaks, cascading down with the weight of the water they held. It was one of those half-rainy sorts of days. A little dreary, but that made it all the more beautiful. Those clouds drifted mere inches above you, swirling lazily in the cool breeze of fall. It was a scene out of your most wondrous daydream. What was it about today and making impossibilities a reality?

“They’re magnificent, aren’t they?” He whispered. You knew he must have felt it when you shuddered. “Would you like to touch them?” 

Speaking felt wrong. If you spoke, you would surely break this spell. You would remember that Kol was a vampire and that he probably wanted to kill you and that this went against everything you had ever been told. But for once you didn’t want to care about any of that. For once, all you wanted was this moment and this boy to care about you like no one else ever had. So you didn’t speak. You just nodded. 

His hand brushed over your shoulder and tugged on your sleeve just a little. There were butterflies taking off all throughout your body, even though there shouldn’t have been. You let out a shaking breath as his fingers skimmed leisurely down your arm - he took his sweet time as if to ensure you were forced to acknowledge every spark as he drew them from your skin. Tenderly, he wrapped his hand around your wrist and then guided you to reach high over your head. You came just inches from breaking the smooth white mist.

“I’m too short,” You mused, a little disappointed. "I don't think I can do it."

“I think you can,” Kol breathed against the shell of your ear. The boy’s grip on your wrist tightened just a fraction and the fingertips of his other hand followed, pressing into your hip just right. Your breathing hitched and your heart sped like a rabbit's. "Reach higher."

Stretching upward as much as you possibly could, you stood on your toes and fought the voice in your head that told you to go no further. As you did your fingers dipped into the swirling cloud and you just giggled. What kid doesn’t dream of touching the clouds? Now, that was a dream come true.

It wasn’t impossible. Maybe nothing was.

You grinned and your heart was racing. With your hand in a cloud and Kol's hands on you, the two of you just stood there for a bit. For whatever reason, you didn't mind his touch as much as you had before. It simply didn't feel as threatening. Perhaps it never had been. Maybe he wasn't lying. Maybe he really did want you.

Oh yeah, he wanted you all right… for lunch.

Your racing heartbeat stuttered in your chest a little as you remembered that little bet you had made earlier that morning and that look in his eyes as you had agreed to it. He'd looked so excited, so eager to rip into your throat. 

Just like that, the spell was broken. 

You yanked your hand from the cloud layer and fell back onto your heels. Whirling around, you faced him, wide-eyed and blinking rapidly. He seemed to realize that his time was up. There was another forced smile as he took his hands off you and backed away. You pushed past him wordlessly, bowing your head. Meeting his eyes seemed impossible with how hot your cheeks burned.

A smooth, flat rock that bore a remarkable resemblance to a bench stood a few feet away from the cliff's edge and you made a beeline towards it. That was where Kol had placed the drinks and muffins so you grabbed yours, letting them warm your hands as you took a deep breath. 

Why had you let that boy - vampire - touch you like that? Why did you let him talk you into things that were so clearly stupid? You were wearing vervain, so logically you knew he couldn't be influencing your mind. But what other explanation was there? This wasn't like you. This wasn't normal! 

Slowly and carefully so as not to startle you, Kol moved to sit by your side. You watched him like a hawk, clutching that cup in your hands as though it contained the cure to cancer and the CIA was hunting you down.

"Y/N," He called your name softly, but you just shook your head. Kol reached out and took your hand, brushing his thumb over your knuckles and you felt those sparks crackle and jump. You didn't want him to take his hand away but you couldn't understand why. "Y/N, I didn't mean to frighten you."

Why did you believe him?

"I know." You nodded and watched him carefully for a moment. “Can you do something for me?” You asked, near silently. You may have felt free and open to both new experiences and ideas, but that didn’t mean you were ready to be hurt.

Kol’s face fell and that genuine concern melted back into his eyes but it was a fake smile that made its way onto his lips. "If you want me to take you home, then I will. I won't make you stay with me if that isn't what you want.”

“No.” You shook your head. Your answer surprised him as much as it did you. “No, it’s not you, it’s just… This - what I’m doing right now - it’s crazy and it’s pretty stupid if I’m being honest and I’m very much aware of that…"

"I'd be concerned if you weren't," He said with a wry smile. The corners of your lips twitched up and you played with the soft strings of your sweater. His eyes flicked downward, distracted by the movement. 

You couldn't believe you were about to say this. You opened your mouth.

"Kol, I-" The words got lodged in your throat. If you said them, you would be admitting something that would give him a dangerous amount of power over you. "I-I wan-"

He tucked a finger under your chin and lifted your head to look you in the eyes. "You can tell me what it is that you want, Y/N." He smiled and this time it wasn't forced but it was a little sad. "I will respect your wishes no matter how they may pain me."

That statement. That was important. 

He shouldn't have been able to claim a thing like that. He wasn't supposed to be capable of decency, or morality.

So why was that more decent, more kind, and more moral than anything you'd ever heard out of the mouths of any of the so-called 'respectable' founder boys your parents had tried to set you up with? Tyler Lockwood certainly hadn't had that much respect for you - and you'd never even dated him! Kol was supposed to be evil so why wasn't he evil to you?

Why did you want to see how good he could be?

"I-I want to see what’s gonna happen," You admitted. "But I can’t just trust you on a whim. So before I go anywhere with you, I need you to promise me a couple things… and I need to know that you’ll keep those promises.”

The boy sighed. “Can’t blame you for being reasonable, can I?” He held your eyes for a moment, thinking. Then he tilted his head and his eyes gleamed with something mischievous as he leaned forward as if to tell you a secret. “Tell you what, I’ll promise you any three things you like if you’ll swear to me something in return for each one.”

"Three?"

He nodded. "Three."

If you did that, then you might have to open yourself up to thoughts you knew you shouldn’t.

“Okay,” You agreed.

Kol grinned. “Then name your terms, my lady.”

You didn't have to think about those for very long.

“Promise me your complete honesty.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Simple, really.” You took a breath, though it did nothing to calm your racing heart. “I want your complete transparent honesty all the time. I want you to tell me what you’re thinking and what your intentions are even if you think something might scare me off. I don’t want to be left guessing as to what, if any of this is real.”

“Fair enough.” The boy held your eyes. “You have my word if you’ll give me yours. I want the same. I want you to be honest even about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. I don’t want you hiding anything.”

You nodded. “I can do that. Promise me you’ll never hurt my little brother - that you’ll never try to manipulate him or compel someone else to harm him in any way.”

“Promise me you’ll do your best to put aside your prejudices and allow me a fair chance." 

"To do what?"

"To earn a second date."

“Done.”

“Done.” No hesitation. 

You pursed your lips and swallowed thickly, feeling a little lightheaded as you leaned away from him but not out of fear. Your voice dropped lower. “Promise me you’ll never hurt me.”

He nodded, tilting his head slightly as he watched you with eyes as soft and warm as autumn leaves. “I can’t promise that I’ll never say or do anything that hurts you, darling. However, I can promise that I’ll never try to cause you pain.” Your hair whipped around your face a bit due to the wind and the boy lifted a hand to sweep it back behind your shoulder. His touch was gentle and your cheeks reddened against your will. Resting it against the side of your neck, he brushed his thumb over your jaw as he studied you, his eyes flicking over your features. “Now, promise me that if the time ever arises when you trust me with your life, you won’t consider this promise broken should I want for something that scares you.”

You inhaled sharply. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I am,” He said, smiling dryly. “You asked for my honesty. I can’t promise you’ll always like it.” Slowly, Kol brought the hand he was holding to his lips and you tensed as he pressed a kiss against the pulse at the inside of your wrist. He met your eyes again and you got the point. “Although I may crave your blood, that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you. There's a difference. Promise me you’ll do your best to keep that in mind?”

He'd promised he wouldn't lie. So what reason was there for you not to believe the plea in his eyes?

You couldn’t come up with a single reason why he might possibly care about you beyond his predatory nature. Everything you had ever been taught claimed that vampires were nothing more than animals driven by their instincts and desire to kill - that they had no capability for emotional complexity of any kind. But you knew now, from that look in his eyes that those claims had to be wrong and it wasn’t just some act or a trick of the light. It was right in front of you and you couldn’t deny it.

Your heart stuttered again, but your fear wasn't going to stop you.

“Deal.”

"Excellent." He looked really happy.

"So, now what?"

It didn't take long for the two of you to figure out an activity. Although after three consecutive losses in Never Have I Ever minus the alcohol, Kol gave up. By that time it was about noon. You could hardly believe it when you checked your watch that you had spent three hours on the side of a cliff with an original vampire. Though, it grew harder for you to think of the boy that way the longer you spent with him. He wasn't scary when it was like this - just the two of you swapping funny stories on the side of a mountain. He was sincere just as he'd promised to be. 

It was nice.

You didn't want it to end, so you told him that because you had promised to be honest as well. Kol's solution was to find the nearest movie theater and watch whatever was playing which just so happened to be The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. After that, you proceed to introduce him to the world of modern fantasy and Baskin Robbins simultaneously, the latter of which he paid for. Watching a one thousand-year-old being sample no less than thirty-six flavors of ice cream (rainbow sherbet included) while he asked you various in-depth questions about a famous children's book was the most entertaining thing you had ever experienced.

By the time all that was done, the sun had set and you knew it was probably time to get heading home. You still didn't want to go home, but this was the first date and you weren't going to stay overnight in a hotel with any person you'd only been on one date with regardless of whether they were human or not. You weren't that trusting. 

The ride back to Mystic Falls was pleasant enough. You laughed and joked and listened to the radio. The only point when you felt uncomfortable was when he reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a bag labeled O-negative. You tried to remain unfazed but seeing him actually drink the stuff made you jumpy. That bet you'd made that morning wouldn't leave your thoughts.

"You wanted my honesty," The boy hummed, aiming for nonchalance though he missed by a hairsbreadth.

"Yeah, I know." You nodded. "So, is that like your favorite?" You asked in a feeble attempt to dispel the awkwardness. 

"I don't know if I really have a favorite," Kol admitted, shrugging. He flashed you a grin. "We'll have to see if that changes when I try yours."

He said when. Not if but when. 

You swallowed thickly and faced forward, biting your lip with a slight hum to acknowledge his comment. Kol turned his head and frowned.

"I did it again, didn't I?" He sighed. "I didn't mean it, love. I was being facetious just like I was about that bet this morning."

He wasn't serious?

"That's not what I saw." 

He huffed a laugh. "Don't get me wrong, darling. As much as I would absolutely love a taste from one of your pretty little veins, I'd rather wait until you offer me one."

The statement was, by no means, comforting. It was the genuine confidence in his tone that disturbed you the most. He spoke with the same surety that one uses when speaking of a morning’s sunrise. At the very least, his words assured you that he would keep his earlier promise. 

You exhaled slowly, trying to calm your mind. One date with him didn’t mean anything. 

“I am never going to do that, Kol.” Your voice was quiet but firm, cold and hard like steel. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him turn his head to watch you. Even in the blackness of the night, his eyes weren’t as dark or as cold as you had thought just the day before. They were dark chocolate - not obsidian.

“With all due respect, darling - which is more than I think you’re used to being shown -” His voice was quiet too but in a different way. It sounded more like coffee and warm muffins. “- I wouldn’t recommend making a vow like that. Never isn’t quite as long as you think it might be.”

You nodded, rolling your eyes. “Is this your way of winning yourself that bet? ‘Cuz I hate to break it to you but, uh… it won’t work.” 

“I can have my fantasies,” He said, shrugging innocently. 

“And I can crush them,” You fired back.

The awkward atmosphere cleared shortly after that and the rest of the ride back to your house was comfortable and fun. When the two of you arrived in Mystic Falls, he parked his car where he’d left the motorcycle that morning, and this time you climbed on without a second thought. The experience was just as enjoyable after dark. All too soon, however, you found yourself parked on the curb in front of your house. Climbing off the bike, you pulled off the helmet he’d given you to borrow and placed it on the back. Kol stopped you.

“Why don’t you keep that,” He said with a knowing smirk. “I have a feeling you’ll need it again.”

You shrugged. “Won’t say no to free stuff.”

He just smiled at you and you had to look away. You were blushing but you hopped it was too dark for him to tell. Kol walked you to the door, like any real gentleman should.

“Well, I suppose this is goodbye,” He said. “For now, at least.”

You could have left; yet, you chose to linger.

You shook your head. “No, it isn’t.”

The boy’s brows snapped together and you could practically see the wheels in his head turning. “I’m sorry?” 

“You’re trying to weasel your way out of it, but I won’t let you.”

“You’ve lost me, darling.”

You gestured to the silver crescent moon hanging on the ink-black backdrop above you. “It’s the end of the night. I have officially won the bet,” You announced. “Now, pay up, loser.”

“Wha- No!” He laughed and shook his head. “I’ll admit to losing, but I already paid.”

“How?”

“I bought the ice cream.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I’m pretty sure the agreement was three pints worth,” You said.

“Was it?”

“Yeah…”

He hissed. “Guess you’ll just have to go on another two dates with me then, won’t you?”

“Guess I will.” You played at reluctance but you really didn’t mind all that much. You’d had fun with him. That wasn’t a bad thing.

“Your parents are going to kill you,” He predicted with a satisfied smirk.

“Ya’ think?” You mockingly gasped. “Wow! You know, you should feel ashamed for being such a bad influence on me.” 

He snapped his fingers. “I should be ashamed, damn it! Your parents are really going to hate me now.” The boy leaned forward and a mischievous grin danced in his eyes as he bowed his head, looking up at you through a curtain of lashes. “Shall we make it worse?” He whispered conspiratorially. 

Your grin matched his. “Hell yeah.”

With a breathy laugh that turned to mist in the chilly evening air of mid-autumn, he reached up and trailed his hand up to your shoulder. You only really noticed how cold it was when he tugged on the sleeve of your sweater, dragging the material away from your neck and off your shoulder. Butterflies and paranoia gripped your insides and you eyed him wearily. He glanced back up to meet your eyes and smiled as he took a step closer to you. 

“Relax, darling.” The boy wrapped both arms around your waist. “Promise I won’t do anything bad,” He assured you, taking another step closer. He rested his forehead against yours for just a moment before leaning down. You felt his breath ghost over your neck and you stiffened. 

What he did wasn’t quite a kiss - not exactly. Kol started at the curve of your jaw and smoothed his lips down the column of your throat with hardly the pressure of an autumn leaf drifting to the ground. He finished at your shoulder, leaving an achingly soft kiss on the spot. His lips were gentle and sweet, like rain through a mountaintop forest. Your eyes fluttered closed and your heart raced. It was like a dream and you wanted more even though you knew you shouldn’t. Butterflies flitted through your soul as he dragged his perfectly soft lips to the base of your throat and back up. The boy hesitated for a moment before he nipped just lightly at your jaw. Then again at your pulse. Your racing heart skipped a beat and he paused. 

“I’ll stop if you want me to,” He whispered. 

You couldn’t comprehend why you said: “Don’t.”

Kol leaned down and nipped at your pulse again. You shuddered and he did it once more, a little slower. Then his arms around your waist tightened and Kol pressed your whole body against his own, holding you as close as he could. For a split second, you could feel him smile. His lips pressed gently at your throat, trailing along your jugular. He was gentle and sweet but there was a greediness and a hunger to each kiss that he couldn’t seem to hide. You could say for certain that nothing had ever felt quite as gratifying as Kol's mouth. Even though it shouldn't have. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself that much closer to him, tangling your fingers in his hair. The boy hummed quietly, though it was a more innocent sound than you’d heard from him that morning - like he couldn’t help it. His mouth trailed lower, to the base of your throat.

When he kissed you again, Kol was rougher. You drew in a quick breath as he kissed and bit at your skin with blunt teeth.  It was still sweet somehow; not as lustful as you would expect. Those teeth had killed - had ripped flesh apart, but for your life, you could not bring yourself to care. Because with you, this monster was sweet - so effortlessly sweet and kind. Kol kept his promise. He didn't hurt you. He only bit hard enough to bruise - just hard enough to leave a mark your parents would see. His mouth slowed and he took a breath. You could tell he wanted to kiss you like that again but you really weren't ready for anything more so you appreciated that he didn't. When he was done leaving his mark on you, he skimmed his lips over it and pressed one last tender kiss on your jaw. 

The boy didn't pull away just yet, however. He lingered, hungry for more as if he just couldn't find the strength to drag himself away from you. That one last kiss turned into four or five more but you weren't complaining. He let go of your waist first, moving his hands to your shoulders. 

"Sorry about that," He laughed quietly. "I might have gotten a little carried away."

You nodded, struggling to speak. "A little bit, yeah."

"In my defense, both your parents were watching through the windows behind me and I think your mother might have fainted."

"Wait, really?" That would be entertaining if nothing else.

"That's what it sounded like," He replied. Kol finally pulled away from you, smiling just a little bit. "Does this mean I get another date?"

Did he really even need to ask?

"I think I can live with that." You nodded, smirking. "Though it needs to involve ice cream of some variety."

"We already did a movie," He mused.

"True…"

"And just yesterday you turned me down on dinner."

"Also true…"

He pushed a strand of hair away from your face and his lips twitched up into a teasing smile. "Please suggest something, love. I don't think I can survive another one of my sister's modern culture education sessions," He said.

"Oh, I dunno. Can you play mini-golf?"

***

Tagging: @yn-ymn-yln @r13mar @rootbeerfaygo @iiskittles16ii @fandomrulesall-blog @dark-night-sky-99 @railingsofsorrow @apolloroid @thatweirdoleigh @misswe03 @eat-cake @felinegrate @trikigirl271 Hey there, people of the internet! If you want on or off the tag list for this series and/or all my other works, just send me a DM to let me know! And if Tumblr won't let me tag you, I'll just send you a friendly DM reminder at your request. Thanks for reading!

[borathae]

Chapter 27

oof i feel like a kid getting into living room while dad is having a meeting

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

Some of his fellow Rippers and Gluttons snicker upon seeing their almighty Creator so flustered by a human. xd

you stop talking when you hear just how silent the room became. thats more than enough for my voice to go shaky and crackly, and start doing spoonerism

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh"

“You’ll regret this”, you press out. for real

“Of course you don’t, not at all.” “Shut up.” ofc yoognles

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

“I grew hungry all of a sudden" wut 👀 “Stay away from her." KOOK I LOVE U “I will go hunting of course.” oh scared me for a second haha

“Oh”, Seokjin laughs in relief, “that sounds logical yeah.” MOOD

You have studied him and watched his every move and habits. He never takes his keys with him when he is hunting in fear that he might lose them. DAMN LOVE FUCK UR HOT WOOO but they are vampires, they dont need soo much sleep and is quiet, be more careful

FUCK BUSTED KNEW IT, WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

“Ha! You’re so easy to mess with!” SHE IS SO ANNOYING I- I LOVE HER MARRY ME

oh we going on a tresure hunt mission

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

Cold and dark corridors, always broody and never smiling. He is such a stereotype. XD exposed lol

“I’m literally going to die of a heart attack here”, you murmur. would be the funniest death tho, heart attack while searching for keys 😭😭

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

OMG WHAT DID HE DO AAH I CANT IM STRESSED FUCK

ok now can we let tae out or at least visit him???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN

preferably you hope he pisses off altogether. To the other side of the world. mood

“Hobi seriously, if this is another one of your sad stories only for it to then end in you getting edged during a blowjob I’m gonna scream” 😭😭 did he bore her with his story already wow

An hour later I am speeding down a mountain at three hundred miles per hour whilst screeching like an idiot.” yeah i can hear his screams perfectly (run bts, thank you)

My lower spine was shattered, my legs dead and Annelise had to carry me down the mountain like a sack of potatoes before my spine finally healed again.” wow HEKC YEAH I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE HOBI TURN ME AND YOONGI TRAIN ME THEN I CAN DO RECKLESS SHIT

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

FUCK OFF KOOK DONT TALK TO ME OR MY SON OR MY SONS SON OR MY SONS SONS SON

“I thought that he is like me.A, a Ripper or a Glutton a-and I wanted to make him feel how it feels like to lose control.” yeah cuz thats not torture at all

kook ur cute but thats it go away stop tempting me u evil potato FUCK I CANT EVEN CURSE AT U NOODLE no NOODLE IS GOOD UM FUCK U GARLIC YEAH THAT WORKS

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

“Oh my god”, you exclaim, giving him a quick glance, “read the room, will you?” i feel soo bad for him BUT NO I SHANT FALL FOR HIS TRICKS, HEAR THAT YOU BITTER GOURD??

CUZ SHE IS TIRED OF GIVING FUCKS SHES OUT OF FUCKS CUZ I AM FUCK A TAE FUCK A KOOK FUCK A YOONGLES BYE IM GOING TO ANGRILY STOMP AROUND THE ROOM 3 TIMES AND GO BACK TO SIMPING (u didnt hear that u tomato)

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

i'm actually very sad :( he just wants people to like him :(

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

interesting theory about her being a witch I LOVE WHEN you guys just have theories 👀

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

like he's just secretly a big softie confirmed

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh

SHE IS THE CUTEST!!! i love her so much

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

ME TOO gaaaah *bites him*

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

he is so BAD at pretending ahhhaha

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

BUT DID HE LIE????

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

lmaoaooa

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

HAHAHHHAHAHHA this is the best reactionhahahahah

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

mhhhhhhhhhm

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

No but this is actually so sad :(

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

lmoaoa the fact that she is ALWAYS busted when she does stupid shit fajdsjf

My lower spine was shattered, my legs dead and Annelise had to carry me down the mountain like a sack of potatoes before my spine finally healed again.” wow HEKC YEAH I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE HOBI TURN ME AND YOONGI TRAIN ME THEN I CAN DO RECKLESS SHIT

no but me for real. I'd probably end up hurting myself once and then never doing it again cause I can't handle the pain lmaoaoa

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

lmaoaoaoo

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

bahahhaha "onion" jfasdjf I have to remember this for a fluffy oneshot