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#tired all the time and having anxiety so bad he shakes
meltlilies · 4 months
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not everything from arasaka is a gift, y'know.
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sensitivegoblin · 17 days
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Vent
Tw: sewerslide and SH
#....i really miss being 4yrs without a care in the world and my family loved each other so purely#fuck its not fair that she does this to me#im shaking over how upset this is making me#i cant always be the one at fault thats IMPOSSIBLE and not fair#she sees it as im lazy n dont like being told to do stuff#i see it as she literally picks on me everytime her health anxiety gets to her or her fiance......i watch it happen like fuckin clockworm#but im the bad guy im the lazy emotional youngest sibling whos life was sooooooo perfect cus mom n dad treated me different#I WAS HIGHLY AUTISTIC#im sorry that you wanna feel special so you gotta pretend my life was just so great cus i got extra attention#I NEEDED EXTRA ATTENTION#Dad did his best to make us all feel equal and you know thst#i du no im jjst fucking done with the littlw comments#i read over my dads shoulder so i already knew but my sister brought up what he said to her before sending me here since the waters broke#he said “please dont say anything to her she has enough on her plate”#and she just got all snippy with me about it#....i literally came to your house with 3 big slashes on my arm when do i get a fucking break from the picking????#next time ill do both my arms maybe then shell have nice emptions for me#im literally frozen in my seat sweating cus of how upset im trying not to bw#its very rare she has a soft moment with me and she completely ignores my scars or my mental health#shes now crying in the other room......#like....i dont even know what to do abymore its not fair im always the bad guy#i shouldnt have to deal with a shitty attitude ontop of the other stuff i got going on#its like shes allowed to stab me but i even react to the pain suddenly im a horrible person#its times like these i just wanna end myself cus im tired of trying so hard and having no one to unmask with#im constantly performing for other people only to not get the same energy back im SO tired#update: i escaped#i love my sister but when shes struggling she acts bitchy towards me and thats not fair#literally did the oppisite of what my dad asked her lmao#i bet she stopped crying and is now finding any lil mistake to bitch about#now im blasting sad music into my ears in hopes of not spiraling
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tpwk-formula1 · 19 days
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It Was Obvious - LN4
Lando Norris x Fewtrell Twin reader
Summary: Lando and Y/N Fewtrell have been seeing each other since just before the season started, what happens when they all go on vacation for summer break and are forced to continue and try to hide their relationship.
TW - NOT EDITED, lowkey mad cheesy, some fluff, talks of slight anxiety, secret relationship
WC 1200+
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Y/N POV
"Lando, he's going to kill us if he catches you in here," I whisper to my boyfriend of 6 months, who is currently in my room pulling me in for another kiss.
"I'm willing to fight," Lando whispers again before kissing me again. It was a rushed make out session knowing we didn't have much time making me feel like I was back in year 10 hiding my boyfriend from my parents. But instead of my parents not knowing it's my twin brother who just so happens to be Lando's best friend.
"I love you," I whisper when he pulls away. I see the light blush crawl up his neck before settling on his cheek showing that regardless of how long we have been together we still get the giddy feelings.
"I love you too," he whispers back before slipping out of my room presumably going to his or Max's.
It's not even ten minutes later before another knock rings out through my room making me think Lando is coming back in already..
"Come in," I call out not moving from my bad. When the door opens to reveal Pietra I relax slightly knowing I don't have to worry about my twin coming in and finding out the truth had it been Lando.
"I wanna talk to you," P tells me softly making me sit up and start to feel some anxiety sink in, not knowing what she wants to talk about.
"Im not picking sides in the divorce," I joke softly making her laugh and shake her head.
"I'm not breaking up with your brother," P tells me softly making me laugh cause I knew damn well she wasn't trying to talk to me about that.
"So you and Lando?" She asks with a smirk on her face. I instantly feel all the air in the room leave making it increasingly more difficult to breathe.
"Hey, hey, hey, calm down! I'm not here to get anyone in trouble. I just wanna know more information," P tells me softly when she notices the panic starting to take over my body.
"Please don't tell anyone," I whisper out not knowing how to to trust anyone right now.
"I won't tell anyone. I think it's something you and Lando will need to do on your own time," she tells me with a smile making me relax a little bit more.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks me with a smile. I nod my head with a smile knowing I haven't been able to talk about my relationship with anyone but my mom.
"We started dating in February shortly after Max dragged you and I to that stupid golf thing. We had been talking before that but after Lando got wasted and couldn't take care of himself I went back home with him and pretty much babysat him until he went to sleep. The next morning he woke up and he set up a really cute brunch where he asked me out," I tell her with a smile making her smile with me.
"How did you figure it out?" I ask making her laugh out loud.
"Girl I love you to death but you guys are terrible at sneaking around. We've been here for for two days and everytime I can't find you, Lando just so happens to be missing as well, so I decided to spy on yall. Well kind of, I just so happened to be coming out of the bathroom when he was leaving your room and I truly wouldn't have thought anything of it but I was already suspecting you guys," she tells me making me nod.
"I think Lando and I are gonna make Max to lunch and tell him. I'm tired of lying to him and hiding my relationship," I tell her making her nod and smile.
"I think it's about time 'cause that was almost 7 months ago," she laughs out. I laughed with her happy to know she was happy for me and supported my relationship.
We're nearing the end of our trip and I have decided it was time. Keegan was already making jokes about us being together and thankfully Max was brushing them off as a joke but I'm sure he's going to start realizing the truth.
"Hey Max, I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch later?" I ask softly not wanting to give too much information and try to pass it off as twin bonding.
"Ya, we could go to that one restaurant you've been begging to since we arrived," Max says with a laugh.
"I saw it on TikTok and it looked amazing," I reply back showing my excitement.
I make sure to text Lando the plan and while I plan to tell Max just us I want Lando nearby incase he wants to talk to both of us.
We're halfway through our meal when I finally drop my fork and clear my throat.
"I have to tell you something," I tell him making him drop his fork and roll his eyes jokingly.
"I knew you didn't just want to hang out with me," he jokes making both of us laugh.
"Ya, um but you have to promise to hear me out before getting upset," I tell him suttering in stress a little making him focus on me completely.
"So, please don't be upset but, landoandiareseeingeachother," I breath out in one breath talking too fast for anyone to understand.
"Try again and breathe this time," Max says trying to stay calm at the situation.
"Lando and I are dating," I tell him refusing to look at him. When I meet his eyes I he is giving me the most disbelief look possible.
"Are you kidding me?" Max asks in pure disbelief making me grow increasingly more nervous.
"I promise he's a good one," I quickly come to defend my partner.
"You thought I didn't know?" Max rephrases his statement making it clear he already knows.
"You knew!" I announce being quite a bit louder than I had hoped.
"I've known since Miami. I mean that confirmed it but I definitely caught on before that," Max tells me slightly stunned that I didn't realize.
"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. Besides its been funny watching you and Lando try to sneak around all this time," Max tells me laughing slightly.
"So you don't care?" I ask him trying to get clarification. He just shook his head no.
"What about P?" I asked just getting curious to the situation now.
"What about her?" Max asks, clearly confused now.
"She came into my room earlier in the trip and asked me about it," I tell him, giving him some more detail about the conversation.
"Oh, no I didn't tell anyone I knew. Meaning she also caught on to your guy's terrible sneaking," Max laughs before adding, "Hell, even Keegan caught on."
I just laughed at that before sending Lando a quick text to let him know he could come in if he wanted. When he met us at the table Max explained to both of us how he caught on and when he realized we both had feelings for each other, which had been long before we started talking.
"Hey but if you break her heart I will pay Verstappen to take you out," Max tells Lando as we are walking back to the beach house we rented for the week.
That just made Lando laugh before telling him he wouldn't dare hurt me.
It was nice being able to spend the last few days of break not having to hide my relationship.
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mariclerc · 2 months
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What about Charles dreaming about the reader cheating on him? And him being all clingy about it
Thank you so much for this request, I found it so interesting and funny. I hope you like thisss 😋😋
A driver nightmare | cl16
Summary: when Charles dreams about you and it's not usually something pleasant for the both of you. Warnings: fluff, slightly possessive Charles and a little bit of angst.
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You and Charles have been dating for a couple of years, and although people sometimes say that it is suffocating to date someone for such a long time, for the two of you it is not like that since you always find something new about each other and end up falling in love over and over again. And it's a nice thing because there are quite strong feelings between the two of you.
But lately Charles has been a bit scattered, so to speak, and you have no idea why is that behavior coming...
So, one night Charles lies asleep next to you, your breathing is even and deep.
“Another night, another nightmare, great...” Charles says as he sighs softly.
He stirs in his sleep, his brow furrowed... The dream is vivid and so painful. You are there, his love, his world, his whole life, is with another man... The laughter, intimacy - things that should be reserved only for the two of you, are being shared with someone else. A cold sweat breaks out on his forehead.
He jolts awake, heart pounding. His eyes dart around the room, searching for any sign of disturbance. He finds you there sleeping peacefully, with a serene and angelic face; relief washes over him, but the lingering dread from the dream is a heavy weight on his chest.
Lately he's had a couple of nightmares about you with someone else, and no matter how much he tries to get answers about it, it's all in vain since it's just a nightmare, that's just it... The thing is, to him, everything feels so real and vivid that he actually swears you're not by his side at the moment.
He whispers. “Oh no... It's getting worse.”
He lies there, staring at the ceiling, trying to shake off the nightmare, his mind races over and over. He knows it's irrational because you would never do this to him. But the images are so real that it hurts him a lot.
***
Morning comes, a sliver of light peeking through the curtains. You stir in bed, stretch, and smile softly at him.
“Good morning, sleepyhead!” you smiled at his sleeping form. Your voice is soft and melodic, the sunlight catches your eyes, making them sparkle.
“Morning darling.” he says, his voice is rough with sleep, but he forces a smile for you.
You sigh a little bit. “You seem so tired cha. Another nightmare?” you reached out to stroke his hair.
He nodded. “Just a bit baby, but it's nothing to worry about.”
He pulls you closer, burying his face in your hair, the scent of your shampoo is comforting. For a moment, the fear and anxiety fades away.
“You know you can talk to me, right? About anything, okay?” you say softly at him.
“I know sweetheart, I know.” he sighs. “It's just... It's a little complicated.”
He squeezes your hand, trying to reassure himself as much as you.
***
The days pass and Charles continues to be plagued by nightmares at night time. He becomes increasingly withdrawn, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by a shadow of doubt.
“I’m losing my mind.” he whispered softly while grabbing his hair.
So one afternoon, as you two cuddle on the couch, you can notice the change in him.
“Charles, I know something's wrong. You’ve been distant.” You say in a whisper as you stroke his hair. “And I don't know if I've done anything wrong.”
Charles freezes, his heart pounding... You doing something bad? That is impossible for him, but he can't help but feel guilty.
“You doing something bad? Honey, that's impossible! Everything's fine, love... Just a bit stressed with work, that's all.” he says softly.
You looked at him, your eyes filled with concern for him. “You can't lie to me, Charles. I know you better than that, I know something's bothering you.” you say with a soft voice.
***
A couple of days later, the sunlight streams through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over the room. The soft clinking of utensils can be heard as you move gracefully around the kitchen, preparing breakfast.
Charles enters, his hair ruffled from sleep, for you he looks so good, and he yawns widely. He stretches, his eyes still half-closed, and then pads over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.
“Good morning, beautiful! What are you making that smells so so good?” he says while kissing your cheek.
You smile, leaning back into his warm embrace. “Morning, sleepyhead. I'm just making pancakes! Nothing serious.” you giggled.
Charles tightens his grip, his chin resting on your shoulder.
“You're the best chérie.”
He nuzzles your neck, his breath tickling your skin. You giggled, turning around to face him.
“Stop it silly, you’re going to make me spill the batter!”
Charles grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I like watching you cook. You look so... domestic and cute.” he whispered.
You rolled your eyes playfully. ”Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
He shrugs. “I guess so silly bean.”
He pulls you into a tight hug, his possessiveness momentarily surfacing.
“You’re mine, you know?”
You laugh softly, your heart melting at his affection. “I know my love, I know.”
Charles kisses your forehead, a tender gesture that speaks volumes.
Later that day, you and Charles are curled up on the couch, a comfortable silence between the two of you.
Suddenly Charles let out a long sigh. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”
You looked at him, your expression concerned. “What’s wrong, baby love?” you asked him.
Charles takes a deep breath.
“Well... I've been having these… nightmares... About you.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Nightmares? About me?” you asked again and he nodded.
“Yeah... And it's something stupid, I know. But they’ve been getting worse because I see you with someone else. And it’s... it’s horrible, it feels horrible.” he finally confesses and he looks down, his voice barely a whisper.
“Oh, Charlie...” you reached out to take his hand. “It’s just a dream, baby. It doesn’t mean anything! Look, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, okay?”
Charles looks up, searching your eyes for reassurance.
“I know, I know... But it’s been making me so crazy. I’m so sorry if I’ve been acting weird this couple of weeks.” he whispered and you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around him.
“Baby... You’re not acting weird, you’re just scared. And that’s okay! I’m here for you, always, okay?” you say while caressing his back.
Charles nods, relief washing over him.
He sighed and smiled at you. “I love you amour.”
“I love you too, more than words can say.”
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reidmarieprentiss · 2 months
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Finding Home Again: Part One
Summary: Y/N meets Spencer Reid when she is 11-years-old, her older brother, Adam, is his classmate and friend. They reconnect at Adam's wedding.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: fluff, angst, one bed trope
Warnings/Includes: mild bullying, name calling, bisexual spencer reid (it's canon to me), wedding activities, swimming in underwear, alcohol consumption, reader wears a dress, suggestive content (16+), commitment issues, emotionally unavailable parents, bad relationship with parents, confrontation
Word count: 12.4k
a/n: part two is here!!
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Spencer Reid was a terrified 8-year-old freshman in high school. As he navigated the crowded hallways, his small frame was easily overlooked, but his presence still drew strange looks and whispered comments. He felt extremely uncomfortable and out of place, his heart pounding with every step. By the end of the day, he still hadn't had a single student offer any help or kindness to him. 
His last class of the day was Algebra 2, and he felt a flicker of hope. Math had always been his sanctuary, a place where numbers and equations made sense when nothing else did. When he walked into the classroom, he noticed that there was assigned seating. Relief washed over him; at least he wouldn't have to struggle to find somewhere to sit.
As everyone got settled in, Spencer found his assigned seat next to a tall, friendly-looking boy. Before he had a chance to take out his notebook, the boy turned to him and smiled warmly.
"I'm Adam," he said, extending his hand for a handshake.
Spencer looked at the hand and then back up at Adam, feeling a wave of anxiety. "Hi, I'm Spencer, and I don't shake hands," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
Adam laughed, not in a mean way, but with genuine amusement. "Hi, Spencer who doesn't shake hands. It's nice to meet you."
Spencer felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. For the first time that day, he felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, high school wouldn't be so bad after all.
— 
Y/N had spent the past few years immersed in the bustling streets and rich culture of Paris, attending a prestigious boarding school that promised to refine her language skills and broaden her horizons. Yet, despite the allure of the City of Light, she often felt the sting of loneliness, her parents' distance echoing even across the ocean. Now, at age 11, she was returning home a month earlier than the American school year ended, her heart a mix of exhaustion and anticipation.
As the chauffeur-driven car pulled up to the grand but cold mansion in the suburbs of Las Vegas, Y/N's heart sank. She had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that her parents would be there to greet her. Instead, the familiar figure of their chauffeur, Robert, was the one to open the car door.
"Welcome home, Miss Y/N," he said with a polite smile.
She forced a smile in return, hiding her disappointment. "Thank you, Robert."
Dragging her feet along the paved path, she entered the house, its opulence doing little to warm the cold emptiness she felt. She made her way to the living room, hoping to find solace in the familiarity of home, but instead, she was met with the unexpected sight of her brother, Adam, and a group of his friends, hunched over textbooks and notebooks.
"Hey, Y/N!" Adam greeted her with a grin, looking up from his textbook. "Welcome back!"
"Hi," she replied, her voice flat. She was too tired and too upset to muster any enthusiasm. Her eyes scanned the room, seeing the familiar faces of her brother's friends that she’d seen in pictures he’d sent. When her eyes finally landed on a boy who was clearly much younger than the rest, with tousled brown hair and a slightly awkward demeanor. He looked up, meeting her gaze with a mixture of curiosity and shyness.
“Who are you?” Y/N hadn’t meant to be rude, she was just slightly shocked to see someone her own age among the older boys.
"This is Spencer," Adam introduced, gesturing to the boy. "Spencer, this is my sister, Y/N. She just got back from Paris."
"Hi," Spencer said softly, offering a small, tentative smile.
"Hi," Y/N replied, her frustration momentarily forgotten as she took in the boy who seemed as out of place in their luxurious home as she felt. "Nice to meet you."
"Sorry we're invading the living room," Adam said, noticing her weariness. "We're just cramming for finals. Spencer here is a genius when it comes to math and science, so he's been helping us out."
Y/N nodded, her exhaustion catching up with her. "It's fine. I just need to rest, so please, no screaming about fractions."
She turned to head upstairs, her feet thudding against each step as she climbed. She couldn't help but feel a pang of envy towards the study group, wishing she had that kind of camaraderie during her time in Paris. They didn’t take well to American’s, no matter how long she was there nor how fluent she spoke. But more than anything, she wished her parents had cared enough to be there when she came home.
The summer before his senior year stretched out long and hot, with the air thick with the scent of freshly cut grass and the hum of cicadas. Adam, now balancing a job cleaning pools and the pressures of preparing for SATs, ACTs, and college applications, found his days filled to the brim. He wasn't working for the money; his parents' wealth ensured he never had to worry about that. But he wanted to break free from the golden cage, to carve out a future where he wasn’t reliant on his parents.
Y/N watched from the sidelines as her brother’s schedule became increasingly packed. She missed the days when they would goof around together, but understood that Adam had his own life to lead. Meanwhile, Spencer Reid found himself spending more and more time with Adam. Spencer wasn't old enough to work yet, but his days were equally busy with preparations for the same academic hurdles.
One hot afternoon, Adam and Spencer were sitting on the back porch, textbooks and notes spread out between them. Adam was explaining a particularly tricky math problem, his hair falling into his eyes as he spoke. Spencer listened intently, his eyes occasionally flicking up to Adam's face, a subtle admiration in his gaze.
"Got it?" Adam asked, looking over at Spencer with a friendly smile.
Spencer nodded, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "Yeah, thanks. You're really good at explaining things."
Adam laughed lightly, clapping Spencer on the back. "No problem, buddy. We make a good team, huh?"
Spencer's heart skipped a beat at the casual touch, his mind racing with unspoken feelings. "Yeah, we do."
Their interactions were always like this—simple, friendly, but with an undercurrent of something more for Spencer. He couldn't help the crush that had developed, even though he knew it was impossible. Adam was older, focused on his future, and saw Spencer as a friend, maybe even a little brother.
One day, as they were packing up their study materials, Adam glanced over at Spencer. "Hey, thanks for helping me stay on track this summer. I know I’ve been busy, but it’s been cool hanging out with you."
Spencer smiled, the words warming his heart. "It's been cool for me too. I’ve learned a lot."
"You're gonna ace those tests, no doubt," Adam said with a confident grin. "And who knows, maybe we'll end up at the same college."
Spencer's eyes lit up at the thought, but he quickly tempered his excitement, not wanting to seem too eager. "Yeah, that would be great."
As Adam slung his bag over his shoulder and headed inside, Spencer lingered on the porch for a moment, watching him go. He knew his feelings for Adam would likely never be reciprocated, but he cherished these moments of closeness, however fleeting they might be.
Y/N observed all this from her bedroom window, a quiet observer to the crush Spencer clearly had on her older brother. She felt the green monster of jealousy coil up inside of her. Why doesn’t Spencer look at her like that? Is she not as smart as Adam? Not as funny? Maybe he only likes older people.
One particularly warm day, Spencer was over to help Adam revise an application essay. They were hanging out by the pool, both to Spencer's excitement and frustration. He didn't want to take his shirt off in front of Adam; he was so scrawny compared to the man Adam was becoming. He didn't even have hair under his arms yet! Spencer found himself getting worked up over the muscle Adam had put on while cleaning pools, feeling increasingly self-conscious.
"Hey, I'm going to grab some lemonade," Spencer said, trying to keep his voice steady as he got up from his lounge chair.
Adam looked up from his notes and nodded. "Sure thing, grab some for me too, will ya?"
Spencer nodded and walked briskly into the house, his thoughts a whirl of admiration and insecurity. As he poured himself a glass of lemonade, having kindly turned down the offer from one of the kitchen staff to do it for him, Y/N walked into the kitchen in a swimsuit. She knew what she was doing; she wanted to see if Spencer would look at her like he did her brother.
"Hi, Spencer," she greeted, her voice casual but her eyes searching.
Spencer almost dropped the pitcher, startled by her sudden appearance. "H-hi, Y/N..."
"How’s it going? Is it hot out there?" she asked, leaning against the counter with an air of nonchalance.
"Mhm, it's hot and, uh, yeah, good. You?" Spencer stammered, trying to keep his eyes on her face and not let them wander. Stupid hormones.
"I'm good, bored. Think I'm gonna go for a swim," Y/N replied, giving him a pointed look.
Spencer swallowed hard, feeling his face heat up. "Oh, cool. Swimming sounds nice."
Y/N nodded. "You should join me sometime. It’s a good way to cool off, especially on days like this."
"I, uh, maybe," Spencer managed, his voice cracking slightly.
She smiled at him. "Well, I'll be out there if you change your mind."
With that, she turned and walked out towards the pool, leaving Spencer standing there, his heart racing. He couldn't help but feel a confusing mix of emotions. He liked Y/N; she was kind and funny in her own way. But his feelings for Adam were something different, something he couldn't quite understand or control.
As he walked back outside with the lemonade, he caught sight of Y/N cannonballing into the pool. Adam looked up and waved Spencer over, oblivious to the tension Spencer was feeling.
"Thanks, man," Adam said, taking the glass from Spencer. "You should take a dip too. Y/N's got the right idea; it's a great way to beat the heat."
Spencer nodded, trying to smile. "Maybe later."
He sat back down, trying to focus on the essay in front of him, but his mind kept wandering. He glanced over at Y/N, who was swimming leisurely, and then at Adam, who was scribbling notes in the margin of his paper. Spencer felt like he was caught in the middle of something he didn't quite understand, struggling to find his place in the dynamics of this family that had become so important to him.
The day of Adam's graduation was filled with a whirlwind of emotions. Adam, ever the unexpected, had committed to Florida State, a decision that had shocked and horrified many. Spencer could hardly believe it when he heard the news. Florida State, a school notorious for its party culture, seemed an odd choice for someone who had always been so focused on academics. But Adam was a party boy through and through, and now, with the immense college fund his parents had set up for him, he had the freedom to choose his own path.
That night, Adam's family mansion was abuzz with a grand celebration party. The opulent rooms were filled with friends, family, and well-wishers, all toasting to Adam's future. Spencer, though trying to be happy for his friend, felt a gnawing sense of sadness and anxiety. Graduating at only 12-years-old and moving away to college meant leaving behind the only family that had ever felt like his.
As the party continued, Spencer found himself feeling more and more overwhelmed. Seeking solace, he looked around for Y/N. He found her standing by the grand staircase, looking as though she was taking a brief respite from the festivities.
"Y/N," he called softly, and she turned to him, her eyes filled with concern at his slightly panicked appearance.
"Hey, Spencer," she said gently, sensing his turmoil. "Do you want to go outside?"
Spencer nodded, grateful for her intuition. She led him out of the mansion and into the expansive garden. The night air was cool and soothing, and the garden was a haven of tranquility away from the noise of the party. They walked in silence for a while, the stars twinkling above them like scattered diamonds.
Y/N finally stopped at a secluded spot, a bench under a large oak tree. She sat down and patted the space next to her. Spencer joined her, taking a deep breath as he looked up at the sky.
"I can't believe he's going to Florida State," Spencer said, his voice tinged with disbelief and a hint of sadness.
Y/N nodded. "Yeah, it's a surprise, but it's his choice. He’s an adult now."
Spencer sighed. "I know. It's just... I'm going to miss him. And you. This place feels like home, and now I'm leaving."
Y/N placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We'll miss you too, Spencer. But you'll do amazing things, I know it. You've always been great."
He looked at her, his eyes searching hers for reassurance. "It's just... scary, you know? Moving away, being on my own. What if I don't fit in?"
Y/N smiled warmly. "You will. You always do."
They sat in comfortable silence, gazing up at the stars. The night was calm, the garden a peaceful contrast to the lively celebration inside. Spencer felt a sense of peace wash over him, comforted by Y/N's presence and her words.
"Thank you," he said softly, looking over at her. "For being here. For understanding."
Y/N squeezed his shoulder gently. "I’ll always be here for you, Spencer."
As they sat together, the weight of the impending changes felt a little lighter. The stars above seemed to shine a bit brighter, and for the first time that night, Spencer felt a glimmer of hope for the future.
24 years old now, Spencer Reid hadn't thought about Adam in years, but when the invitation arrived in the mail, it brought back a flood of memories. He held the ornate envelope in his hands, his heart pounding with a mix of nostalgia and nerves. The invitation was to Adam's wedding, an event that promised to reunite old friends and acquaintances. Spencer couldn't help but feel a sense of obligation to attend. Adam had always been kind to him during those tumultuous high school years.
Despite his apprehension, Spencer decided to go. He meticulously planned his trip, ensuring he had everything he needed to make a good impression. The journey to the wedding venue in Napa Valley, California was a blur of anxious thoughts and memories of the past. As he arrived at the grand hotel where the event was being held, he felt a knot of nerves tightening in his stomach.
Meanwhile, Y/N was also preparing for the wedding. She couldn't help but feel excitement and trepidation at the thought of seeing Spencer again, Adam informed her that he had RSVP’d yes. She had always harbored a silly little crush on him, one that had persisted through the years despite their long separation. The idea of seeing him again, older and perhaps changed, was both thrilling and nerve-wracking.
The wedding weekend began with a flurry of activities. The hotel was abuzz with guests arriving, mingling, and catching up. Spencer found himself lost in the crowd, his nerves making it difficult to relax. As he checked in at the front desk, the receptionist handed him a key card with a polite smile.
"Here you go, Dr. Reid. Room 212," she said.
Spencer thanked her and made his way to the elevator, his mind racing with thoughts of what the weekend could entail. He arrived at the door to his room and swiped the key card. As he pushed the door open, he was met with an unexpected sight.
Y/N was standing in the middle of the room, her back to him as she attempted to pull up the zipper of her dress. Upon hearing the door open, she spun around with a scream, holding the dress to her chest.
“What the fuck!” she exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock.
“I’m so sorry!” Spencer stammered, equally startled.
“Spencer?” she said, her expression shifting from surprise to recognition.
“Y/N?” he replied, still trying to process what was happening.
“What the hell are you doing?” she demanded, still clutching the dress to her chest.
“I don’t know, this is the room I was told I'm staying in. My key opened the door…” he explained, holding up the key card as if it could somehow explain everything.
“Shit. Okay. Something must have gotten messed up. I'll check it out as soon as I'm dressed,” Y/N said, her tone calming slightly.
“Okay. Yeah. I’ll just leave you be,” Spencer said, starting to back out of the room.
“Actually… Spencer, could you help me with the zipper?” Y/N asked, her voice softer and a bit embarrassed.
Spencer paused, his face flushing. “Uh, sure. Of course.”
He stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him. Y/N turned around, holding her hair up to give him access to the zipper. His hands trembled slightly as he grasped the zipper, carefully pulling it up the back of her dress.
“Thank you,” she said softly once he had finished.
“No problem,” Spencer replied, stepping back and trying to keep his eyes respectfully averted.
She sighed, shaking her head. “Well, let’s go sort this out. Maybe the front desk can figure out what happened.”
As they left the room together, Spencer couldn’t help but feel a strange mix of awkwardness and nostalgia. Despite the initial shock, there was something oddly comforting about being in Y/N’s presence again. 
"So you're saying every single room in the entire hotel is booked? How is that even possible?” Y/N asked, her frustration evident.
“Well, miss, your wedding party is not the only group staying here. It is a very popular vineyard, especially at this time of year,” the receptionist explained calmly.
“So what you’re saying is we have to share this room?” Y/N pressed, trying to find a solution.
“You could stay with someone else, but yes, there are no more rooms available,” the receptionist confirmed.
Y/N sighed deeply, rubbing between her brows. “Okay. Thank you.”
Spencer and Y/N walked away from the desk, both trying to process the situation. Spencer broke the silence with a lighthearted joke. “Hopefully this is the worst thing that will happen this weekend.”
Y/N looked at him, a mix of apology and stress in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Spencer. I didn’t mean to make you think I’d hate to share a room with you… it’s just, this weekend is already going to be stressful.”
“Hey, no, I’m sorry for teasing. It’s okay. It will be like the sleepovers we had as kids,” Spencer said, trying to reassure her.
“You mean where you and Adam slept in the game room and I stayed as far away as possible?” Y/N responded, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
“Exactly,” Spencer bubbled with laughter, the tension between them easing a bit.
They made their way back to their shared room, Spencer couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic, thinking back to those simpler times. Y/N, too, found herself feeling a bit more at ease, her initial worries about the weekend beginning to fade. 
Once they were back in the room, Y/N looked over at Spencer, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I was going to pretend to be courteous and ask what side of the bed you prefer… but I have to sleep next to the window,” she announced, a playful smile on her lips.
“Oh, well, thank you for almost considering my feelings!” Spencer laughed, his tension easing. “I don’t mind either way, but if you snore half as bad as your brother, I’m putting a pillow over your face.”
“Oh my god, that man could cut down trees with that chainsaw he keeps in his mouth!” Y/N exclaimed, her laughter filling the room.
They shared some giggles, the awkwardness between them dissolving into familiarity and warmth.
“It’s really nice to see you, Spencer,” Y/N said sincerely, her eyes softening as she looked at him.
“You too, Y/N. You look so grown up,” Spencer replied, noting the elegance and maturity in her appearance.
“Well, 12 years will do that to someone,” she said with a chuckle, her gaze lingering on him.
“Not me, I still look the same,” Spencer said, shaking his head with a wry smile.
“Yeah,” Y/N tilted her head to the side, studying his face. “You really haven’t changed at all.”
“Okay, easy now,” Spencer protested lightly, a blush creeping up his cheeks.
“Did you ever grow armpit hair?” she teased, her eyes gleaming with mischief.
“Hey!” Spencer exclaimed, trying to defend his dignity.
“Oh, come on, Spencer! Show me!” Y/N teased further, taking a playful step towards him.
“No, Y/N. Hey, get away from me!” Spencer laughed as Y/N chased him around the room, her determination to see his armpits turning into a playful game.
With a burst of energy, Y/N ended up tackling him to the bed, sitting successfully on his stomach. “Give it up, Spencer, I win.”
“Nope!” he yelled triumphantly before using all his strength to flip her, pinning her down and tickling her.
Y/N cackled and shouted, “Uncle! Uncle!” between fits of laughter.
When Spencer finally pulled back, they both noticed the precarious position they were in. Spencer was between Y/N’s thighs with his hands by her head, both of them panting in each other’s mouths. The laughter faded as they locked eyes, the weight of the years apart and the sudden closeness creating a charged moment.
“I need to get ready for the rehearsal dinner,” Y/N whispered.
Spencer took the cue and got off of Y/N and the bed. “Mhm, yup. Me too.”
“Um, I showered when I got here. So, uh, I’ll just go get ready in the bridal suite. You can have the room,” Y/N said as she gathered the things she would need to get ready.
“Y/N… you don’t have to leave, I’m sorry.”
“What? Nothing to be sorry about. Just giving you your privacy. See you later, Spencer.”
“Yeah, see—” but she had already shut the door behind her. 
Spencer ran his hands over his face, feeling a mix of embarrassment and confusion. What had he been thinking? The sudden intimacy had caught him off guard, and now he felt a pang of regret for how awkward things had become. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, and began preparing for the rehearsal dinner, hoping the rest of the evening would go more smoothly.
— 
Y/N was not a bridesmaid, but she was fine with that. She wasn't all that interested in the responsibilities and duties that came with it anyway. She was still very close with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, Elizabeth, and it was no problem for her to get ready in the bridal suite. Once she explained the mix-up with the rooms, Elizabeth was extremely apologetic and understanding.
At the rehearsal dinner, Y/N’s seat was, of course, next to Spencer’s. He had arrived before her, which meant she spotted the back of his head before she sat down, giving her time to make a run for the open bar before making her way to the table.
As she sat down, Spencer looked over and his breath caught at the sight of her. Y/N looked absolutely radiant in her rehearsal dinner attire. The outfit suited her perfectly, complementing all of her assets and making her eyes shine. Maybe he had been silly to waste all those years alongside her chasing after her brother when she was right there. Although, he figured it probably would have been difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship at 12 while he was in university.
“Hey,” Y/N greeted him, her smile warm and genuine.
“Hi,” Spencer replied, still a bit breathless. “You look... amazing.”
“Thanks,” she said, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. “You clean up pretty well yourself.”
Spencer chuckled, feeling more at ease. “Thanks. It’s nice to be here. I mean, it’s been so long.”
“Yeah, it has,” Y/N agreed, taking a sip of her drink. “It’s crazy how time flies.”
As they settled into conversation, the initial awkwardness from earlier seemed to dissipate. They talked about their lives, their work, and the memories from their youth, finding common ground and shared experiences. The laughter and joyfulness that had once defined their friendship began to resurface, making the evening feel less like a reunion of strangers and more like a gathering of old friends.
Throughout the dinner, Spencer couldn’t help but steal glances at Y/N, marveling at how she had grown into such a beautiful and confident woman. The realization that he might have missed something special by focusing so much on Adam gnawed at him, but he tried to push those thoughts aside and enjoy the present moment.
After all the speeches were given and the eating was rehearsed, the youngest and oldest of the crowd turned into their rooms for the night. The bridal party and groomsmen left as well, all needing to be up very early. This left the young to middle-aged adults to the complimentary after-dinner party. There were free drinks, a dance floor, karaoke, and dimmed lighting.
Y/N looked over at Spencer, not knowing if this was his cup of tea or not. “Do you want to stay for a bit?”
The idea of cutting the night short didn't sit well with him, especially not with how Y/N was looking at him. “No, no, I'd like to stay if you do.”
“Sure,” she smiled. “I’ll stay.”
The two walked over to the bar to get a drink. Spencer had very rarely indulged in alcohol. Gideon had tried to introduce him to scotch, which he hated. Hotch had shown him whiskey, which wasn’t as bad but still too strong. Derek ordered him a Sex on the Beach that he really liked but was too embarrassed to order on his own. So he didn't know what he was going to do when the bartender looked at him.
“What will you have, miss?” the bartender asked Y/N.
“Just an appletini, please,” she replied. The bartender nodded and turned his attention to Spencer.
Spencer could feel his palms sweat as he ran over every drink he knew of. Y/N leaned over and asked, “Do you want me to order for you?”
Spencer nodded gratefully and whispered his order in her ear. Y/N pulled away, absolutely delighted. She told the bartender his drink before looking back to Spencer and saying, “At least ask me on a date first, you men are all the same,” teasing the poor red man.
Spencer blushed furiously but couldn’t help but laugh. “Thank you,” he said, his embarrassment mingling with amusement.
The bartender soon returned with their drinks—Y/N’s appletini and Spencer’s Sex on the Beach. Y/N handed Spencer his drink, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Here you go, pervert. Enjoy.”
Spencer blushed even more, laughing despite himself. “Thanks,” he said, taking a sip and feeling the sweet, fruity flavors calm his nerves.
They moved to a small table near the dance floor, the music a pleasant background to their conversation. Y/N sipped her drink and looked around, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.
“So, Dr. Reid,” she began, her tone playful, “what’s your favorite part about weddings?”
Spencer thought for a moment, a small smile forming on his lips. “Honestly, I’ve never been to a wedding before. Have you?”
Y/N nodded, her smile softening. “Yeah. I think my favorite part is the dancing. I’ve always wanted someone to swing me around the dance floor at a wedding, it looks so romantic.”
Spencer took note of what Y/N was saying, thinking that maybe he could be the one to dance her around tomorrow at the reception. “You know, I never said thank you,” Spencer said.
“For what?” Y/N tilted her head.
“For being nice to me, you and Adam both. You never laughed at me or made me feel weird for being so young and advanced.”
“Spencer…” Y/N said with a hint of questioning in her voice. “Why would we make fun of you for being smart? Oh ha ha, look at this guy, he knows way more than us.”
Spencer chuckled. “I know, but still, thank you.”
Y/N smiled warmly, reaching across the table to give his arm a reassuring squeeze. “You’re welcome, Spencer. You’ve always been special to us.”
Spencer felt his heart grow ten sizes at her words, 'us,' and the fact that Y/N remembered his aversion for touching hands. Screw Adam and Elizabeth, he’d marry Y/N tomorrow. Now, that might be a little dramatic, but whatever.
As Spencer and Y/N continued to catch up and enjoy each other's company, they also consumed more drinks. The alcohol birthed an idea in Y/N’s pretty head, quite a good one if she says so.
“Spencer,” she leaned in, her voice playful.
“Yes, ma'am,” he responded, also leaning in until their foreheads pressed together.
Y/N giggled before sharing her idea, “We should go swimming.”
“What? Where?” Spencer asked, bewildered.
“The hotel has a pool!” she exclaimed, her excitement infectious.
“Isn’t it closed by now?” Spencer asked, skeptical but intrigued.
“Nuh-uh,” she shook her head against his, her movement causing his glasses to brush against her eyebrows. “It’s open 24/7.”
Spencer was nervous; he knew Y/N liked to swim, but he wasn’t very good at it, not having done much swimming since his last summer with Adam. But he couldn’t say no to her, it would appear.
“Okay, let’s go,” he agreed, the decision making his heart race.
Y/N squealed in delight, grabbing Spencer by his bicep and dragging him behind her. She squeezed the muscle in her hand before wiggling her eyebrows at him and saying, “Wow, doctor, did you put on some muscle?”
Spencer blushed something fierce. “I had to, I’m in the FBI.”
“Ohh good, I’m gonna need a big strong man in case we get into danger,” Y/N teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Spencer felt like he already was in danger, but a kind he was willing to face.
Once at the pool, they were both relieved to find no one else there; it was pretty late after all. As they approached the water, Spencer suddenly realized a flaw in Y/N's plan.
“Y/N, wait,” he grabbed her arm. “What about swimsuits?”
She smirked at him and pulled her arm away before grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling it off. Spencer's eyes were as wide as saucers, hilariously magnified by his frames.
“Close your mouth, doctor. Wouldn't want you to catch flies,” she teased, and with that, she jumped into the pool.
As Y/N resurfaced, Spencer noticed her makeup was impressively intact, probably some of that new waterproof stuff they make. She swam over to the edge in front of Spencer before looking up at him with a gaze not unlike a siren luring in prey.
“Come on in, Spence. The water feels amazing,” she coaxed, her voice soft and inviting.
Spencer, under the influence of something much stronger than alcohol, started shedding his clothes down to his briefs. Y/N wolf-whistled once he had his shirt off, causing a full-body flush to take over him. As soon as he was down to his last article, he jumped into the water to avoid her staring any longer.
The cool water enveloped him, a refreshing contrast to the heat he felt under Y/N's gaze. He surfaced, pushing his hair back and adjusting his glasses, which had miraculously stayed on.
“There you are,” Y/N said, swimming over to him. “Isn’t this nice?”
“Yeah,” Spencer admitted, feeling a bit more at ease now that he was in the water. “It’s actually really nice.”
“Are you ready?” Y/N asked, her voice low and taunting, getting very close to Spencer in the water, their bodies almost touching.
Spencer felt like he was going to pass out. “Re–ready for what?”
“Race ya!” she exclaimed, and with that, she was off, swimming away with powerful strokes.
Spencer blinked, momentarily stunned by the sudden challenge. Then, with a determined look, he launched himself after her, his competitive spirit kicking in despite his nerves. The cool water rushed past him as he swam, his strokes becoming more confident as he pushed himself to keep up with Y/N.
She reached the far end of the pool first, touching the wall and turning to see Spencer still making his way towards her. She laughed, the sound echoing in the quiet night air.
“You’re slow, Dr. Reid!” she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Spencer reached the wall, panting but smiling. “Not all of us are part fish, Y/N.”
“Hey, I’m not that fast,” she said with a playful pout. “You did pretty well for someone who has never won a swimming race, ever.”
“Thanks,” Spencer replied, catching his breath. “But next time, I’ll beat you.”
“Oh, is that a challenge?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Maybe,” he said, feeling bolder. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“I like when you get cocky, it suits you,” Y/N said, her voice dropping to a flirtatious purr as she swam closer to him, their bodies almost touching again.
Spencer's heart pounded in his chest. “Oh really? I didn’t know I had it in me.”
“There’s a lot you have in you, Spencer,” she replied, her eyes locking onto his with an intensity that made his breath catch. “Maybe you just need the right person to bring it out.”
“And who, um–who do you think that person is?” he asked, his voice trembling and nervous.
“Someone who,” she whispered, her lips just inches from his. “Would have se–”
“Hey! What are you two doing in here?” a security guard called out.
“Nothing!” Spencer yelped.
“Just leaving!” Y/N added quickly.
They scrambled out of the pool, grabbing their clothes and running down a hallway towards the elevators. Once they were safely inside one, they looked at each other and started laughing.
“I thought you said it was open all night!” Spencer exclaimed between breaths.
“I may have told a fib to get you to come swimming with me,” Y/N admitted, giving her best puppy dog eyes. “Are you mad at me, Spence?”
Spencer could see her hard nipples poking through the soaking wet, thin material of her bra and couldn’t find himself to be anything but aroused. “Uh, no, no. Not mad, that was fun.”
Y/N caught him looking but didn’t say anything. What man wouldn’t look at wet breasts right in his face?
“Yeah, it was,” she agreed, smiling. “Thanks for going with me.”
As Spencer looked up at the ceiling to avoid staring at Y/N’s half-naked body, she took her opportunity to glance down at his scantily concealed half hard bulge. She could see the entire outline through his wet, hot pink briefs.
“Never took you as a pink guy, doctor,” she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
Spencer blushed fiercely, trying to cover himself with his clothes. “They were a gift,” he mumbled, embarrassed but unable to keep from smiling.
“Well, I think they suit you,” she said with a wink.
The elevator dinged, and they stepped out, making their way back to their room, still dripping wet and grinning from ear to ear. Once inside, they both burst out laughing again, the adrenaline from their escapade still coursing through them.
“Here,” Y/N said, grabbing a couple of towels from the bathroom and tossing one to Spencer. “Dry off before you catch a cold.”
“Thanks,” he replied, wrapping the towel around himself. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Me neither,” she admitted, toweling off her hair. “But it was worth it.”
Spencer nodded, his heart still racing. “Yeah, it was.”
They both stood there for a moment, wrapped in towels and basking in the afterglow of their impromptu adventure. The tension between them was palpable, but so was the camaraderie and affection.
“Well,” Y/N said finally, breaking the silence. “I guess we should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Spencer agreed reluctantly, not wanting the evening to end. “Uh, do you want to shower first?”
“Thanks, Spencer,” Y/N nodded her head and grabbed her things.
The next 10 minutes were the hardest, literally, of Spencer's entire life. Knowing Y/N was naked and wet on the other side of the door was pure torture. He could hear the water running, imagine the steam filling the room, and envision her silhouette behind the shower curtain. When Y/N cracked open the bathroom door and peeked her head out, Spencer sat up faster than ever before, super not obvious at all.
“Sorry… I kind of forgot to bring any clothes in, so I need to come out in my towel. Is that okay?” she asked, her cheeks slightly flushed.
“Ye–yeah. Mhm,” he cleared his throat, trying to sound nonchalant. “That’s totally fine, no big deal. Why would I care?”
“Okay, weirdo,” Y/N looked at him skeptically, a playful glint in her eye. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
Spencer nodded and waited until Y/N was facing her suitcase to make a break for it, sprinting to the bathroom so she didn't see his very prominent boner tenting his pants. Y/N turned around quickly at the sound of the bathroom door slamming, finding his behavior odd.
In the shower, Spencer turned the water to cold and willed his erection away. The icy water was a shock to his system, but he needed it to calm down. He had not indulged much in self-pleasure and had certainly never seen as much of a woman as he saw today, let alone been touched by one. Eventually, it did go down, and he got out, only to realize he hadn't brought a towel. Of fucking course.
Spencer was now the one sticking his head out of the crack he made in the doorway, “Y/N…?”
“Yeah, Spencer, what’s up?” she called back, now sitting in the bed.
“I, um, forgot a towel,” he admitted, feeling his face heat up again.
“Oh shit, let me grab yours,” Y/N replied, getting up and walking over to his bag to retrieve the towel.
“Thanks,” he muttered, trying to make himself as small as possible behind the door.
When Y/N walked over to hand the towel to Spencer, she couldn’t help but immediately break into giggles.
“Oh, that’s what every guy wants to hear. What is it?” Spencer asked, mortified, his head barely poking out from behind the door.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped between laughs, “it’s just that I can see your butt in the mirror.”
Completely horrified, Spencer slammed the door shut and banged his head on it. “Can we please forget about this?” he groaned, his face burning with embarrassment.
“Absolutely not! You have the cutest ass I’ve ever seen!” Y/N called out, her laughter echoing through the room.
Spencer felt his face burn even more as he dried off and quickly dressed. When he emerged from the bathroom, he avoided eye contact with Y/N, who was still chuckling softly, a wide grin on her face.
“Ready for bed?” she asked, a playful glint in her eye, clearly still amused by the situation.
“Yeah,” Spencer mumbled, trying to hide his embarrassment as he climbed into his side of the bed.
They settled into their respective sides, the awkwardness from the bathroom incident lingering but slowly giving way to a more comfortable silence.
“Goodnight, Spencer,” Y/N said softly, turning off the bedside lamp and snuggling under the covers.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied, settling into his pillow and trying to calm his racing thoughts.
As he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, Spencer couldn’t help but smile. Despite the awkward moments and his own nervousness, he felt a warmth in his chest that he hadn’t felt since that last summer. This weekend, for all its surprises, was turning out to be something special. And as he drifted off to sleep, he couldn't shake the feeling that this was only the beginning.
— 
When the room’s phone began ringing with a wake-up call in the morning, both Y/N and Spencer groaned at being woken up. Y/N stuck her arm out, grabbed the phone, and hung it up to stop the sound rattling in her head. Much to her surprise and gratitude, she was not hungover, just very tired. She went to roll over to go back to sleep when she noticed her body was being restricted by multiple different body parts, none of which belonged to her.
Spencer had one arm around her waist, his other beneath his head, one leg on her hip, and the other between both of her legs. The man had wrapped himself around her like a human octopus. He was also awake, not having slept through the wake-up call, but was paralyzed out of fear or embarrassment, maybe both.
Y/N felt him tense up and his breathing grow rapid, signaling that he was awake. “Well, good morning to you too, Dr. Reid. Or is it Doc Ock?” she teased, her voice still heavy with sleep.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Spencer mumbled, his face burning with embarrassment.
“I know I am, thank you,” Y/N said, a smirk playing on her lips.
They lay in silence for a few more moments, both of them thoroughly enjoying the feeling of the other's body pressed against their own.
“So, not that I'm complaining, but were you planning on letting me go anytime soon?” Y/N asked, amusement evident in her tone.
“Oh god, yes. I'm so sorry,” Spencer said, hurriedly trying to disentangle himself. In his haste, he managed to rub his morning wood against Y/N’s ass.
“Jesus, Reid! Any of your other body parts you want to touch me with?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“No, nope. Actually, I think I'm just going to open the window and jump out. I think the 15 floors will kill me,” he said, his voice muffled from behind his hands that were hiding his extremely red face.
Y/N laughed softly, reaching out to gently pull his hands away from his face. “Hey, it’s okay. It happens,” she said, her tone reassuring. “No need to jump out the window.”
Spencer looked at her, still blushing but grateful for her understanding. “Thanks, Y/N. I’m really sorry about that.”
She shrugged, giving him a playful smile. “It’s all part of the fun, right? Besides, I’d miss having you around.”
Spencer managed a small smile, feeling a bit better. “I’d miss you too.”
They lay there for a moment longer, the initial awkwardness giving way to a comfortable silence. Until Y/N, unable to resist tormenting Spencer, said, “Did you want a hand with that?”
“What??” he half-squeaked, half-screamed.
Y/N threw her head back, laughing hard in the early morning light shining in.
“You’re so mean,” Spencer muttered, his face a deep shade of red.
“Aww, did you really want me to?” she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I’m not answering that,” he replied, trying to sound stern but failing miserably.
“All in good time, young grasshopper,” Y/N said, patting his arm playfully.
Spencer, rolling his eyes and unable to stand Y/N’s antics any longer, got out of bed to get ready for the day. He needed coffee, and maybe 50,000 shots of alcohol. What he failed to consider was that he was still hard, in loose gray sweats, and that he was sharing a room with Y/N, the worst person, ever.
“Whoa baby! I didn’t realize you were holding out on me! Get back here!” Y/N called out, patting the bed and laughing even harder.
Spencer, mortified, ran to the bathroom, his face burning with embarrassment. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, trying to calm his racing heart. The cold shower earlier had been nothing compared to the icy plunge he felt now, thanks to Y/N’s relentless teasing.
Inside the bathroom, he took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He couldn’t deny that a part of him enjoyed the playful banter, but another part of him was utterly overwhelmed by the intensity of his feelings. He needed to collect himself and face the day, starting with a much-needed cup of coffee.
Back in the room, Y/N was still chuckling to herself, thoroughly amused by Spencer's reactions. She began getting ready, her thoughts drifting to the upcoming events of the day and the unexpected pleasure of Spencer’s company. Despite her teasing, she was genuinely glad he was there.
As Spencer emerged from the bathroom, now somewhat composed, he glanced at Y/N, who was busy with her morning routine. “Truce?” he offered, a tentative smile on his lips.
“Truce,” Y/N agreed, smiling back at him. “For now.”
They both laughed, the tension easing as they continued preparing for the day ahead. The morning light filled the room, promising a day full of possibilities and perhaps, a few more moments of unexpected connection.
The morning sun cast a warm glow over the vineyard as Y/N and Spencer wandered through the charming village, the scent of grapes and fresh earth filling the air. They didn’t have much to do in preparation for the wedding, so they decided to venture out in search of coffee. The village was picturesque, with cobblestone streets, quaint shops, and inviting cafés.
As they strolled, chatting about old memories and catching up, they suddenly found themselves face-to-face with a woman Y/N recognized all too well. Christa, one of the girls who used to bully Spencer in high school, stood before them. Adam had warned Y/N about all the mean girls and boys, just in case they had any younger siblings at the school.
“Oh my god! No way! It’s the baby freak and boarding school!” Christa exclaimed, her voice dripping with mock surprise and disdain.
Spencer immediately tensed, the old nickname hitting him like a punch to the gut. He hadn’t been called that in years. Y/N, feeling a surge of protectiveness, stepped forward.
“Christa!” Y/N exclaimed with a bright, exaggerated smile, moving in for an overly enthusiastic hug that left Christa visibly uncomfortable. Christa awkwardly patted Y/N’s back, clearly thrown off by the unexpected embrace.
“Uh, hi,” Christa muttered, her confidence wavering.
“How are you? What has it been, 15 years? You don’t look a day over 40,” Y/N said cheerfully.
“I’m 30,” Christa replied, her tone icy.
“Oh… well, sunscreen is your best friend!” Y/N said, her voice dripping with false innocence.
Christa’s face twisted in offense, while Spencer struggled to hide his laughter behind a cough.
“Baby freak… you look exactly the same. Still scaring everyone away with your freaky genius powers?” Christa sneered, her eyes narrowing at Spencer.
“I–uh, no, I–” Spencer stammered, the old insecurities rushing back.
“Spencer, here,” Y/N said, emphasizing his name, “is not a baby, maybe compared to the looks of you. And he is not a freak, unless you want to talk about more private matters, but judging by the turn of your nose and the stick up your ass, I’m going to go ahead and assume you have no idea what I’m talking about. How long has it been since a real human touched you?”
Christa was speechless, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to come up with a retort. Finally, she sneered, “I bet Spencer’s never been touched by a human ever.”
Spencer looked down, his face turning red with embarrassment, feeling like the insecure 12-year-old all over again.
“Really? Like this?” Y/N said, pulling Spencer down into a kiss before Christa could say another word.
The kiss was brief but intense, and when Y/N pulled back, Spencer’s eyes were wide with surprise, his cheeks flushed. Christa stood there, stunned and utterly speechless, unable to come up with a reply.
Y/N turned back to Christa with a triumphant smile. “Awe, Christa, you look like a fish. Never speak to me or my boyfriend ever again, okay? Okay, sweetie. So good to see you!”
With that, Y/N took Spencer’s arm and led him away, leaving Christa standing in the middle of the street, fuming and defeated.
As they walked away, Spencer glanced over at Y/N, his heart still racing from the unexpected kiss. “Thank you,” he said softly.
Y/N squeezed his arm gently, a warm smile on her face. “Anytime, Spencer. You deserve better than people like her.”
They continued their walk, the tension from the encounter melting away as they enjoyed each other’s company, feeling closer than ever before. The weekend had taken another unexpected turn, but this time, it was for the better.
After grabbing their coffee, Spencer and Y/N realized they still had plenty of time before they had to start getting ready for the wedding. The charm of Napa Valley beckoned, and they decided to indulge in one of the region’s finest offerings: wine tasting. The idea seemed perfect, a way to enjoy the beautiful vineyard and create some new memories.
They made their way back to the vineyard and signed up for a tour. As they strolled through the rows of grapevines, Y/N kept her hand looped around Spencer's arm. It felt natural, a comforting closeness that neither of them felt the need to mention. The guide led them through the process of winemaking, from grape to glass, sharing interesting tidbits and answering questions.
Once the tour concluded, they were led to a private table on one of the many balconies the vineyard’s main building had to offer. The view was breathtaking, with rolling hills and endless rows of vines stretching out under the clear blue sky. A tasting flight of wine was set before them, each glass glistening with rich, inviting hues.
Y/N took a sip from the first glass, savoring the flavor before turning to Spencer. “So… about earlier,” she began, her voice soft.
Spencer nodded, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. “Yeah. That was… unexpected.”
“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Y/N said, looking at him earnestly. “I just couldn’t stand her talking to you like that.”
Spencer shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “You didn’t overstep. It was… nice. Surprising, but nice. No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.”
Y/N blushed slightly, taking another sip of her wine. “Well, you deserved it. She was horrible.”
Spencer glanced at her, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the wine. “Thank you, Y/N. For everything. It’s been a long time since I felt… protected.”
Y/N smiled, her eyes twinkling. “You’re welcome. And for what it’s worth, you could have handled it really well all on your own. I just… wanted to make sure she knew she couldn’t mess with you.”
Spencer chuckled, relaxing more as he took a sip from his glass. “You definitely made that clear.”
They continued their tasting, discussing the nuances of each wine, but the earlier conversation had brought them even closer. The view, the wine, and the company made for a perfect moment, one that felt both nostalgic and new.
As they moved through the tasting flight, they found themselves laughing and reminiscing about old times, the tension from the earlier encounter long forgotten. The vineyard, with its serene beauty, provided the perfect backdrop for reconnecting, and they both felt a sense of peace and happiness that had been missing for too long.
Y/N looked out over the balcony, her hand still resting lightly on Spencer's arm. “I’m glad we’re here,” she said softly. “I’ve missed this.”
“Me too,” Spencer replied, his voice equally soft. “It’s like coming home.”
They clinked their glasses together, a silent toast to new beginnings and cherished memories. The weekend held more surprises, but for now, they were content to simply enjoy each other’s company, letting the wine and the moment carry them away.
“Speaking of home… do you think you’d ever come back?” Y/N asked, her voice tinged with vulnerability.
“To Las Vegas?” Spencer replied, looking at her curiously.
“Yeah,” Y/N said, feeling somewhat hopeful.
Spencer took a moment, thinking it over. “I’ve never thought about it, really.”
“Oh, I guess if I left, I wouldn’t want to come back either,” Y/N said, a hint of sadness creeping into her tone.
“Y/N… it’s not that. There’s just nothing there for me anymore.”
“Yeah, nothing,” she said bitterly, sipping her wine.
“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant,” Spencer said quickly, his eyes wide with concern.
“It’s okay, Spencer. You don’t have to pretend. We haven’t talked in over a decade. I can’t blame you,” Y/N said, looking down at her glass.
“Y/N–” Spencer began, but she cut him off.
“I’m going to head back and get ready. Can you give me an hour alone, please?” she asked, her voice strained.
“Yeah, of course,” Spencer said softly, his heart sinking.
Y/N stood up, giving him a small, tight smile before walking away. Spencer watched her go, feeling a pang of regret. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, and now he felt the weight of their years apart more heavily than ever. He sat there for a moment longer, staring out at the vineyard, before deciding to take a walk to clear his mind.
The serene beauty of the vineyard provided some solace, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N. He realized how much he had missed her, how much he had missed having someone who understood him. The years had created a distance between them, but he hoped that this weekend could be a step towards bridging that gap.
As he wandered back to the room an hour later, he knocked softly on the door, giving Y/N the space she had asked for. He hoped they could find a way to reconnect, to rebuild the bond they once had. The weekend was far from over, and he was determined to make things right.
— 
By the time the ceremony rolled around, Y/N and Spencer hadn't talked yet but took their seats next to each other. Spencer tried to apologize again, but Y/N brushed him off, telling him it was okay. The ceremony was beautiful and didn't drag on too long. Y/N cried, and Spencer put his arm around her shoulders, letting her cry on him.
They took their seats for dinner after, being seated again with her parents and close family. Though her parents weren't there for the rehearsal dinner, they were now. Spencer was extremely nervous, having never gotten a good read on Y/N and Adam's parents before. All he knew was that they shipped their young children off to boarding school and then left them home with hired staff more often than not.
As the first course was being served, Y/N's mother eyed Spencer with a mix of curiosity and disapproval. “Y/N, who is this man you brought?” she asked, her tone sharp.
Y/N took a deep breath, steadying herself. “Mother, this is Spencer Reid. He grew up with us, don’t you remember?”
Her mother pursed her lips, shaking her head. “No.”
“I’m not surprised,” Y/N muttered under her breath.
Her father, catching the exchange, leaned in. “Watch your tone, that’s your mother.”
“I’m 24,” Y/N said, her voice steady but strained.
“And you’re still our child,” her father retorted.
“I’ve been financially independent since I was 18. What are you going to do? Take my salad fork?” Y/N shot back, her frustration evident.
Her parents rolled their eyes in unison. “No wonder it’s your brother getting married and not you,” her mother sneered. “You were always so bitter. Determined to hold grudges.”
Y/N’s mouth dropped open, ready to fire back, but Spencer quickly intervened. “Actually, Y/N and I have been together for what, 2 years, darling?” he said, his voice smooth and confident.
Y/N was momentarily stunned, but then a wicked smile crept across her face. “Yes, baby. And that present you gave me for our anniversary was so… sensual. I can still feel it,” she said, biting her lip for effect.
Spencer tried to contain his laughter, his eyes dancing with amusement as he looked at Y/N. 
Her mother’s face turned a deep shade of red. “Y/N L/N! You are incorrigible.”
Y/N shrugged, unfazed. “I don’t care,” she said, a defiant glint in her eye.
The table fell into an awkward silence, but Spencer felt a sense of triumph. He had managed to diffuse the situation and even brought a smile to Y/N’s face. As the dinner progressed, they exchanged knowing glances, each feeling a little more at ease despite the tension surrounding them.
As soon as people were encouraged to get up from their tables, Y/N and Spencer shot up. Their first stop was the open bar, both needing a drink after enduring a whole dinner with her parents.
“Can we get an appletini and a sex on the beach?” Spencer ordered, his voice only shaking slightly.
“Spence!” Y/N yelled, hitting his arm playfully. “I’m so proud of you!”
He smiled to himself, feeling a sense of accomplishment. They stood at the bar, sipping their drinks as they observed the crowd. The lively atmosphere was a welcome contrast to the tension they had just experienced. Y/N’s eyes were on the couples dancing, and Spencer remembered what she had said earlier about wanting someone to swing her around the dance floor.
“Do you want to dance?” Spencer asked, turning to her.
“Oh no, it’s okay. I know you don’t like to dance,” Y/N replied, her gaze lingering on the dance floor.
“Y/N… I want to dance with you. Do you want to dance with me?” Spencer asked, his eyes earnest.
“Yes, very much,” Y/N said, her face lighting up with a smile.
Spencer set his drink down and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. The music was a soft, romantic melody, perfect for a slow dance. As they found a spot, Spencer placed his hands gently on her waist, and Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck. They swayed to the music, the world around them fading as they focused on each other.
“I can’t believe I’m finally doing this,” Y/N said softly, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Me neither,” Spencer replied, his voice equally soft. “I’m glad it’s with you.”
Y/N’s eyes were shining. “You’ve always been special to me, Spencer.”
He smiled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “You too, Y/N.”
Her heart raced at his bold gesture, not expecting such a move from Spencer. They stayed on the dance floor for a few more songs, enjoying the moment and the connection that had been rekindled. Eventually, Spencer took Y/N's hand and led her away from the floor.
“Spence… you’re holding my hand,” Y/N said, glancing down at their intertwined fingers.
“I am,” Spencer replied, his voice steady.
“You don’t do that,” she pointed out, her heart still fluttering.
“I don’t,” he agreed, looking at her with a small smile.
“But you are,” she continued, her eyes searching his.
“Right again,” Spencer said, his smile widening.
“Why?” Y/N asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Because I like you,” Spencer admitted, his eyes locking onto hers with an intensity she hadn’t seen before.
Y/N felt her breath catch, her heart pounding in her chest. “You… you like me?”
Spencer nodded, his grip on her hand tightening slightly. “Yes, Y/N. I like you. I guess I was just too afraid to admit it before.”
A smile slowly spread across Y/N's face, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I like you too, Spencer. I always have, since we were kids.”
Spencer's face lit up with relief and happiness. “Really?”
“Really,” Y/N confirmed, squeezing his hand.
They stood there for a moment, the noise of the party fading into the background as they gazed at each other. The years of separation and unspoken feelings seemed to melt away, leaving only the warmth of their rekindled connection.
“Do you want to get some fresh air?” Spencer asked, his voice soft.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Y/N replied, her smile never wavering.
They walked hand in hand out to the vineyard’s garden, the night air cool and refreshing. The walk through the garden was very much reminiscent of the last time they saw each other. The path was lined with twinkling lights, casting a soft glow over the grapevines and flowers.
“Did you really not know I liked you all those years ago? I was so obvious. I did everything to get your attention,” Y/N said, breaking the comfortable silence.
“No, I really didn’t know. I just thought you were really nice!” Spencer replied, his brow furrowing in surprise.
“And you liked Adam,” Y/N stated, a hint of a teasing smile on her lips.
“I–I, what??” Spencer stammered, caught off guard.
“It’s okay, Spence, he doesn’t know,” Y/N said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
Spencer let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “You knew?”
“Of course I knew. I could see it in the way you looked at him. It’s fine, really,” Y/N said, her voice gentle.
Spencer looked at her, his eyes filled with a mix of embarrassment and relief. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things awkward back then.”
Y/N shook her head, her smile softening. “You didn’t. I just wish I had known how to tell you how I felt. I was always so nervous around you.”
Spencer smiled, feeling a warmth spread through him. “I was nervous around you too. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I guess we were both a bit clueless.”
They laughed together, the sound carrying through the quiet night. As they continued their walk, the memories of the past seemed to blend with the present, creating a sense of closure and a new beginning.
“Do you think things would have been different if we had talked about it back then?” Spencer asked, his curiosity piqued.
“Maybe,” Y/N said thoughtfully. “But we were just kids, and you had so much ahead of you.”
Spencer nodded, feeling content with her answer. They reached a bench under a large oak tree and sat down, the stars twinkling above them. Y/N leaned her head on Spencer’s shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.
“I would move back home,” Spencer said softly.
“What?” Y/N asked, her voice filled with warmth and curiosity.
“I would move back home,” Spencer repeated, his voice steady. “If it meant being with you eventually. I’d come back to Las Vegas.”
Y/N lifted her head to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise and emotion. “Spencer, you don’t have to do that for me. We aren’t even dating.”
“I know,” he said, gently cupping her cheek with his hand. “But I want to. You were always like home to me, Y/N. Being with you feels right.”
“I would never ask you to give up your job; you worked so hard to get there,” Y/N shook her head.
“But I—”
“Stop,” Y/N interrupted, pulling away from his touch. Her heart raced, and she felt a wave of panic wash over her. “This is too much, Spencer. We’ve just reconnected, and now you’re talking about uprooting your entire life for me. It’s overwhelming.”
Spencer’s face fell, his hand dropping to his side. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just wanted you to know how important you are to me.”
Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. “I appreciate that, really. But we need to take things slow. I need time to process all of this.”
Spencer nodded, though the disappointment was clear in his eyes. “Of course. I understand. We’ll take it slow.”
There was an awkward silence between them, the weight of their conversation hanging heavily in the air. Y/N felt a mix of guilt and relief, unsure of how to navigate the intense emotions swirling inside her.
After a few moments, Spencer spoke again, his voice soft. “I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you. I just care about you a lot.”
Y/N managed a small smile, her heart aching. “I care about you too, Spencer. But let’s just see where things go, okay?”
“Okay,” he agreed, though the tension between them remained palpable.
They spent the rest of the evening in a subdued silence, both lost in their thoughts. Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling of unease, and she wondered if she had made a mistake. But she also knew she needed to follow her instincts and not rush into anything that didn’t feel right.
That night, the walk back to their room was a silent torture. Each step felt heavier than the last, the air thick with unspoken words and lingering tension. Spencer desperately wanted to fix things, but he didn’t know how.
When they finally reached their room, Y/N wordlessly grabbed a pillow and placed it between their bodies on the bed, creating a physical barrier that mirrored the emotional distance between them. The gesture was small, but it felt like a chasm had opened up.
Spencer lay on his side, staring at the wall, his heart aching. He wanted to reach out, to hold her, to reassure her, but he couldn’t bring himself to cross that line. The fear of pushing her further away was paralyzing.
What was far worse, was when Spencer woke up to an empty bed and an empty hotel room. Panic set in as he called out her name, hoping she was just in the bathroom or getting breakfast. But there was no response.
The reality of the situation hit him hard. Once again, he had managed to lose one of the only people who ever felt like home. The weight of that loss settled in his chest, making it hard to breathe. He sat on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands, trying to make sense of what had gone wrong.
The silence of the room was deafening, and the loneliness was overwhelming. Spencer knew he had to find a way to make things right, but at that moment, he felt utterly lost and alone.
Downstairs, Spencer was checking out when he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned around to see Adam bounding towards him.
“Hey buddy!” Adam, as broad as ever, swept him into a hug, picking him up in his excitement.
“Whoa! Hi!” Spencer laughed, caught off guard by the enthusiastic greeting.
“How are you? Thank you so much for coming. I’m sorry it’s been so crazy, I can’t believe I almost missed you!”
“Yeah, hah. Glad I ran into you,” Spencer replied, trying to keep his composure despite the turmoil inside.
Adam, unaware of Spencer's inner turmoil, continued with a big grin, “So, I heard you had to bunk with old Petit Chou.”
“Y/N? Yeah, I did,” Spencer replied, the nickname bringing back a wave of memories.
“How was it? Was it like old times?” Adam asked, his tone cheerful and curious.
“Um, no, not really. We got along a lot better,” Spencer admitted, a small, sad smile forming on his lips.
“Oh, you dog! Did you sleep with my sister?” Adam's tone was teasing, but he looked extremely pleased.
Spencer's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. “No, no, nothing like that. We just... caught up.”
Adam laughed, clapping Spencer on the back. “Well, I’m glad you two reconnected. She always had a soft spot for you, you know.”
Spencer forced a smile, trying to push away the sadness. “Yeah, me too. She’s... she’s great.”
“Eh, I wouldn’t go that far,” Adam teased in a big brotherly fashion.
“So, I thought you’d be gone by now on your honeymoon?” Spencer asked.
“Oh no, Lizzie wanted to have some time as newlyweds in our house first. You know, get settled in, put all the presents away and such before we leave. She really thinks everything through,” Adam explained, love evident in the way he talked about Elizabeth.
“She sounds wonderful. I’m so happy for you, man,” Spencer said sincerely.
“Thank you, little dude. Are there any lucky ladies in your life? Lucky lads?” Adam asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.
“Huh, no,” Spencer replied, shaking his head.
“Dude, you should have totally made a move on Y/N! She yapped about you for years after you left. When I told her you were gonna be here, she practically threw away her suitcase and bought all new clothes, wanting to make a good impression or something,” Adam said with a grin.
“What?” Spencer choked, his eyes widening in surprise.
“Yeah, man, she had it baddd. It was kind of cute,” Adam chuckled.
“Oh, I had no idea,” Spencer said, feeling a little bit of shock and regret.
“Well, if you’re ever in Vegas, you know who to call,” Adam said, clapping Spencer on the back.
“Yeah... where are you living nowadays?” Spencer asked, trying to shift the conversation.
“Georgia! Met sweet little Lizzie at Florida State and followed her home after graduation. Never left,” Adam replied, his eyes shining with happiness.
“That’s great, Adam. I’m really happy for you,” Spencer said, genuinely pleased for his friend.
“Thanks, man. And seriously, don’t be a stranger. If you’re ever in the area, you’ve got a place to stay,” Adam said, giving Spencer another friendly hug.
As they finished checking out, Spencer’s mind raced with thoughts of Y/N. He needed to talk to her, to clear the air and understand what had gone wrong. But for now, he was grateful for the brief distraction that Adam had provided. It gave him a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could find a way to make things right.
Y/N went back home, feeling the weight of the weekend pressing heavily on her. She barely had time to sit down and process everything when her best friend and roommate, Billie, showed up at her bedroom door, armed with snacks and drinks.
“Hey, thought you could use some company,” Billie said, giving Y/N a warm hug as they entered.
“Thanks, Billie,” Y/N replied, her voice tinged with sadness.
They settled on the couch, surrounded by an array of comfort food and drinks. Billie opened a bag of chips and handed it to Y/N. “So, tell me everything.”
Y/N sighed, taking a deep breath before recounting the events of the weekend. She told Billie about reconnecting with Spencer, the intense emotions, and the difficult conversation that left her feeling lost and confused.
“I feel so silly,” Y/N said, heaving a big sigh. “Mourning something I can’t have. We live on opposite sides of the country. How would it ever work?”
Billie reached over, giving Y/N’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “It’s not silly at all. Feelings don’t follow logic. You’re allowed to feel sad, even if it seems impractical.”
“I just... I really thought maybe we could make it work,” Y/N said, her voice breaking.
“Hey, you never know what the future holds. Maybe things will change, or maybe you’ll find a way to be together despite the distance,” Billie said, their tone comforting.
“But what if we don’t? What if it’s just not meant to be?” Y/N asked, her eyes searching Billie’s for answers.
“Then it's not, you can't control what's out of your hands,” Billie said, offering a comforting smile.
Y/N nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. They spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. While the ache in Y/N’s heart didn’t completely disappear, she felt a sense of peace over the situation.
— 
Spencer wanted to reach out to Y/N, knowing he couldn't even use the excuse of not having her phone number—one of his best friends could hack the Pentagon for fun if she wanted. But he didn’t want to face the rejection he had a feeling would be coming his way. He knew it was impractical: his job was demanding, they lived nowhere near each other, and on top of that, they didn’t even know if they would work. Maybe the magic between them only existed in the air of the wedding.
They went weeks in radio silence, both resigning to move on. They had gone 12 years without each other; they could handle some more. That is until Spencer found something in one of his luggage pockets. He was repacking his go-bag after returning from a case when he opened a pocket that he did not often use, planning to put a fresh pack of gum in there.
He quickly took the note out and opened it, seeing it was in handwriting that he didn’t recognize. His heart skipped a beat as he began to read:
Spencer,
I’m sorry for leaving unannounced. I truly loved seeing you this weekend. It was wonderful to catch up after so long apart and to see that you are still the same sweet, loving guy. I hope you never change.
I left without saying goodbye because of my own issues, not because of anything you said or did. Please understand that. You mean so much to me, and I would hate to jeopardize our friendship over something silly like this.
If you’re ever in Vegas, you always have a place to stay.
Y/N
456 notes · View notes
rafeandonlyrafe · 17 days
Text
escape from isla nublar
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words: 2.6k
warnings: jurassic world alternate universe, dinosaurs, violence, brief mentions of gore (but not detailed), illusions of sex but not actually written out, established relationship, soft!rafe, death tw, proposal, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks
a/n: im having a lot of fun with writing aus, so here! take another one!
“thank you so much for bringing me here, rafe.” you coo out, getting onto your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.
rafes arm slides around your waist, keeping you tugged in close as the boat approaches the dock of the island. you squeal along with all the children gathered around impatient and ready to jump off the boat and explore.
“welcome to isla nublar!” the voice of a friendly sounding woman says over the speakers. “please disembark slowly and carefully and enjoy your stay in jurassic park!”
“baby, can i just say-” rafe begins as the crowd shuffles forward, most with bags in their hands or suitcases being wheeled behind them, but rafe has already arranged to have them brought to your room so you can get right to exploring. 
“mhm.” you hum, encouraging him to continue.
“that you've been so chill this entire trip so far. proud of you.” it might sound weird to anyone else, but you've always gotten nervous when leaving your home for too long, worried something bad would happen. rafe saw it on your first trip he took you on where you tried and very much failed to hide your anxiety.
“im so excited there's like no room for nerves.” you giggle as you walk down the gangway. “and the fact that you let me plan everything. you know how much i love a schedule.”
“we are so different.” rafe shakes his head, hand squeezing yours as you step into the concrete, turning away from the crowds heading to the resort and towards the main street and the iconic innovation center.
“opposites attract.” you state, and it couldn't be more true, but rafe loves you more than he could ever envision caring about someone.
as you round the lagoon, trying to see if you're able to catch a glimpse of the giant mosasaurs in its depths, you feel your excitement levels only elevate more.
“oh my gosh, there's the petting zoo entrance.” you turn and pout to rafe.
“isn't that mostly for kids?” he raises a singular eyebrow.
“i mean yeah, but you also get to pet baby dinosaurs. totally worth it.” you tug him towards the entrance.
--
“okay.” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips. “i guess we should slow down so we have things to do for the rest of the trip.” 
“im already exhausted.” rafe chuckles. “how about dinner then to the hotel?”
as tired as rafe is, he's certainly not going to complain about being run around isla nublar when he gets to see the gleaming smile on your face every time he looks at you.
“sounds good… we could go to winstons steak house,” you point in one direction, then the other “jurassic cafe, or the brachiosaurus restaurant.”
“how about whatever is closest.” rafe rubs his hand over his face.
“okay steak house it is.” it's your turn to take rafes hand. 
he barely manages to stay awake through dinner, and by the time you're back at the hotel, he's passed out on the bed before he can change into his pajamas.
--
“what would you like to do today?” you ask rafe. “anything but that hang gliding, you know how i feel about heights.”
“the gyrospheres look fun.” rafe shrugs and looks at the map pulled up on your phone. “or kayaking.”
“why not both.” you toss your phone to the side and cup rafes cheek, bringing your lips together in a kiss.
“you're the best boyfriend ever.”
rafe places a hand on your shoulder and pushes you down onto the mattress, laying you back.
“we can wait a little bit though, right?” the smirk on his face gives him away.
“i think that would be fine.” you giggle, pulling rafes shirt off over his head.
--
“that was actually so fun.” you hum out.
“it was when you let me drive and we could finally go fast.” rafe says. you were halfway through the gyrosphere tour when you handed the controls over to rafe, allowing him to speed through the ankylosaurus herds.
“but we will not be doing that on the kayak.” you hold your finger up.
“yes ma’am.” rafe says, slipping the attendant a $20 bill to move you to the front of the line, not wanting you to have to wait.
“life vest.” rafe says, slipping it over your head while he just grabs his and throws it into the kayak, not planning on putting it on unless something happens.
rafe helps you step down into the kayak, grabbing the paddle knowing he's going to sit in the back and do all the work.
--
“this is so beautiful.” you say, leaning back into your seat as you look at the stegosaurus and it's long neck reaching up to grab the leaves, his feet submerged in the water as you paddle past.
“this might be even better than the velociraptors.” rafe says.
“wait-” you sit up. “whats that sound? is that a radio?”
it takes a second for rafes ears to pick it up, but he can hear the frantic static of voices over a walkie talkie.
rafe continues to paddle, realizing suddenly that you've separated from all the other kayaks and can't see anyone. he brings the kayak closer to the side when he hears the radio as you reach out to pick it up from the muddy bank.
you turn the volume knob up as you try to make out what the voice is saying through the water logged speaker.
“we sent the containment unit out with nonlethal force and they're all dead! immediate evacuation, get everyone inside and back to the hotel!”
“rafe…” you turn towards him, eyes widening in fear.
“im sure it's just some kid pulling a prank.” rafe takes the radio, finding the speech button and pressing it. “what is going on?”
“who is that? this is an authorized channel.” one voice says before another cuts it out.
“whoever you are, seek shelter immediately. the indominus rex is on the loose, currently heading towards-” the radio sparks and then dies out.
“shit.” rafe hits it against his thigh, but it's clearly no use.
“rafe.” your voice is already shaking. “the indominus rex. i don't know what it is, but it doesn't sound good.”
“okay.” rafe stands up and steps out of the kayak, pulling it onto the bank before helping you out. “baby-” he places his hands on your shoulders. “i need you to stay calm. you know this island like the back of your hand. where are we?”
“we-” you take a deep, shaking breath. “we are halfway through the kayak adventure. we should head just west and find the road to the aviary.”
“okay.” rafe presses a kiss to your forehead. “let's go quickly and quietly. im sure they've already contained whatever dinosaur escaped.”
“yeah.” you nod, gulping, not so sure.
rafes steady hand stays in yours, helping you over bushes and downed trees.
“shouldn't be much farther.” you bite your lip, hoping you didn't get the direction wrong.
“hang on.” rafe whispers, placing a finger over his lips. 
before you can fully comprehend what's happening, he's tugging you down under a giant tropical plant, the leaves hiding you as you hear whatever rafe did, the pounding footsteps of dinosaurs.
“that's the stegosaurus we saw earlier.” you remember the distinct marking along its side.
“get over here.” rafe pulls you in tighter, not allowing you to see as he presses you against the stem of the large plant, covering your body with his own.
“it's okay, it's a herbivore.” you say, when you hear the second set of dinosaur footsteps following it. you tense up, and you can feel a panic attack setting in as you pick your head up to see some sort of giant rex running after it.
you both stay still and silent until it's clearly far enough away.
“rafe.” you tremble as you turn into your back, his body still hovering over yours, protecting you, willing to put himself in the line of danger if he needs to.
“it's okay.” his voice is betraying how scared he is as well, but he's going to try his best to not let you see it. “let's just get to the aviary.”
“i-i can't.” you shake your head. “im fucking terrified.” 
“me too, baby.” he says. “but we gotta get under cover somewhere before that thing catches up to the stegosaurus and comes back for us.”
you swallow deeply, eyes closing for a brief minute, gaining all your courage you possibly can.
“okay.” you're up and moving quickly, running towards the aviary. your steps are no longer balanced and cautious, moving quickly through the jungle until you make it through the trees to the grassy plane.
“the aviary!” you point at the large glass dome, just in time to see a helicopter careening into it, smashing a hole that instantly has pterodactyls flying out.
“shit!” rafe shouts, tugging you back into the treeline.
“we're gonna die.” you sob out, not able to hold back your tears as you crumple to the ground.
“no.” rafe says firmly. “i will not lose you.”
he knows he needs to move, especially as the pterodactyls come closer, and he doesn't have time to console you enough to get you ready to move.
rafe reaches down and pulls you into his arms, hugging your shaking form against his chest as he follows the same path of disturbed leaves and muddy footprints back to the river.
“i need you to paddle.” rafe says, glad your kayak is still in the same space. “i know you're scared, but you need to help me here. we need to go fast.”
you sniffle and look up at rafe, your big eyes filled with tears causing his heart to pang out in pain. “okay.”
rafe bends down, pressing your lips together in a soft and caressing kiss before climbing onto the back of the kayak.
you both immediately begin to paddle hastily, not knowing where the next meat eating dinosaur could be.
“the river goes underground then should let us off near main street.” you tell rafe, eyes briefly closing to envision the map in your head before putting your entire focus back onto paddling.
“baby, still.” rafe says softly, both of you pausing as you look upwards, seeing pterodactyls wings flapping over, thankfully not seeming to notice you under the treetops, yet you still wait until they pass over before beginning to paddle again.
“there's the cave.” you say, pointing as the river bends and you head underground, lights strung along the cave ceiling as you paddle underground, able to take a deep breath now that you're under cover.
“are there any dinosaurs in this cave?” rafe questions, helping you move back so you're leaned against him. 
“shouldn't be.” you say, eyes closing as your adrenaline drops now that you're mostly safe.
“go ahead and rest.” rafe hums as he paddles, looking down at you in relief.
--
“y/n.” rafe shakes your shoulder and you sit up with a gasp, looking around, waiting to see the indominus rex charging at you.
“it's okay.” rafe says. “we're just leaving the cave.”
“so that wasn't all just a nightmare?” you sit up, knowing you must not have been asleep that long, but already feeling majorly refreshed.
“im afraid not.” rafe sighs as you grab your paddle to help steer.
“so this let's out…”
“near the resort. we should be safe there.” you squint into the dying sunlight as the kayak leaves the caves and enters into the large man-made lake.
you both quickly steer to the side, glad to be out of the kayak and on your own two feet.
“to the resort.” you say, able to tell that there are still people running from main street in that direction.
rafe is about to toss the paddle back into the boat when a screech comes from overhead and you both look up to see a pterodactyl perched over cave entrance.
“run!” rafe yells, not turning his back from the dinosaur to see that you haven't moved an inch, not leaving him.
the pterodactyl lunges forward just as rafe swings his paddle at it, hitting it in the beak, but it only enrages the dinosaur more.
you move quickly to grab your paddle, joining rafe in hitting at it, keeping the snapping beak away from pecking at your skin.
“baby, go.” rafe grunts out.
“no! im not leaving you.” you keep slapping at its beak and head until it gets annoyed and roars before taking off to the sky.
“fuck.” rafe groans. “i hate dinosaurs. sorry baby.”
“that's okay.” you say with a slight laugh. “i don't think i like them that much anymore either.”
you take off towards the resort, keeping your oars held tightly in your hands, just in case any pterodactyls try something.
“onto the ship or into the resort?” you question, seeing people trying to get into both.
rafe opens his mouth to respond when a roar rips through the air.
he looks around quickly, pulling you into taller grass, not having any other close cover.
“some of the gates must be down.” you whisper.
“why?” rafe questions, not doubting you as his eyes search through the field before you point at the crowd of people, even more frantic as you watch from a distance.
“because there's a metriacanthosaurus.”
the name makes rafe blink harshly before he sees it, the dinosaur flinging people around as it takes advantage of the hoards of people trying to get to cover.
“oh my god.” you cover your mouth, watching as the carnivore rips someone in half.
“don't watch.” rafe pulls you further into the grass, tucking you against his chest.
you close your eyes and focus on his arm wrapped around your shoulder instead of the screams.
“i got you.” rafe whispers, free hand tapping his shorts to make sure the box is still there in his pocket.
“i know.” you press your lips into his neck. “i know.”
gunshots ring out and rafe looks out of the grass to see that the dinosaur has finally brought down and everyone is safely inside.
“okay, let's run.” rafe helps you stand, deciding to head towards the boat instead of the hotel, knowing it's just one step closer to getting you safe.
you take off in a run, entering up the gangway you went down just yesterday morning.
“inside the cabin.” one of the staff says quickly, ushering you through the glass doors into the packed hallway of people, but rafe keeps moving, tucking you into him until you're towards the front of the boat, able to move up a level and find a place to sit down.
“we're okay.” you say as you relax into the sofa. “we’re alive.”
“i love you.” rafe says, head dropping to your shoulder. “im never talking you on another vacation like this again, but i love you.”
“and i thought you were protective before.” you chuckle, breathing out heavily.
“really ruined my whole plan though.” rafe knows that you both just experienced a trauma that will no doubt need to be unpacked later, but you're just happy to be safe inside the cruise ship.
“what plan?” you lift your head up.
“not the best time but-” rafe sits up and pulls a box out of his pocket. “i planned to ask you in front of the waterfall, all romantic and sweet. but i don't want to waste a single moment longer.”
rafe flicks the top of the box up to reveal a glimmering ring. “will you marry me?”
you let out a squeal and jump into rafes arms, “yes!”
sfw tags: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0
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misc-obeyme · 3 months
Text
Sigh. Okay. Here's the Levi demon form smut. I don't think it turned out very good, but I'm tired of messing with it. And I spent time writing it, so I figure I might as well post it. I'm sorry, Levi, I swear I'll do you justice one day~
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GN!MC x Leviathan
NSFW MDNI
Warnings: penetration (reader receiving), Levi being silly and blushy and anxious, demon form, tail stuff (I'm struggling with how to label this - the tail wraps around MC, MC sucks on the end of it, and it also stimulates MC but doesn't penetrate... okay that'll have to do I guess), sexy potion (briefly mentioned and Levi drank it lol), cockwarming, biting, man I hope that's it
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Leviathan was already bright red. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, but the blush covering his face was so sweet. He was in his bathtub, back against several pillows and you in his lap. Two piles of clothes were on the floor nearby. He'd been nervous from the start, even though you had done this before. You tried to get him to relax, but it was clear that most of the things you did only made it worse.
You ran your hands over his chest as you pushed back against his erection.
You put your hand on his cheek. “Please, Levi?”
“M-MC!” he protested.
You had asked him if he would shift into demon form and the idea of it flustered him so bad he couldn’t look at you.
You kissed his warm cheeks. “I just wanna see you,” you said as you trailed your lips down his neck.
Levi shivered at the light touch, but he still couldn’t open his eyes.
You sighed and sat up a bit, so you could cup his face with both hands. You rubbed your thumbs across his skin. “Look at me, Levi.”
Obediently, Levi opened his eyes, but it was still difficult for him. He turned his face away, like he was trying to only see you in his periphery. You turned him back to face you.
"Whatever you think about yourself doesn't matter," you said. "I want to see all of you. You can do that for me, can't you?"
Something seemed to shine in Levi’s eyes. Not tears, but a confidence you knew he often didn't feel. And then he was in demon form, confirming that your words had boosted him enough to feel comfortable granting your request.
You watched as the complex horns emerged and the black and indigo coloring splayed across his neck and shoulder. You could feel the tail wrap around your waist. You shifted slightly so the scales rubbed gently across your skin.
You traced your fingertips across the pattern on his neck and the way he whined in response filled you with satisfaction. You leaned back down to press kisses along where your fingers had touched, enjoying the way he began to squirm beneath you.
You rolled your hips, grinding yourself down on his erection, making him cry out.
“A-ah!” Levi’s fingers were suddenly digging into your arms, a sensation you found you liked. His tail tightened around your waist. “MC! Please!”
You smirked and looked down at him. “Please what?”
But Levi couldn’t say it. You knew he would be too embarrassed to. He squeezed his eyes shut again, pressing his lips together and shaking his head.
You laughed a little because his reaction was so cute. You ran your hands through his hair, letting them slide gently up his horns, enjoying the way he shuddered in response. Then you kissed him, running your tongue along those tightly clamped lips in an attempt to get him to relax. It worked. He opened his mouth for you, letting out a little gasp as your tongue slipped inside.
Your kiss became sloppy fast, your hips occasionally rolling languidly downward. Every time you did this, the tail around your waist twitched and tightened just a little.
You pulled away to look down at him again and while his expression was a little more open, the anxiety was still clearly written there.
You pressed kisses across his face, pausing by his ear to whisper, “You’re safe with me. It’s okay to let go a little.”
It was like you had unlocked a secret level. Levi’s hands moved from your arms to your hips and he bucked up into you, letting out a whine that was so needy you couldn’t help but smile.
You rearranged yourself a bit, then sat snugly on his cock. You went slowly, inching down bit by bit so you could hear his noises.
As you went, Levi’s tail wrapped even more circles around you until the tip was brushing against your cheek. You smiled as it edged along your lips then opened your mouth to let it inside.
As soon as the tip of Levi’s tail was inside your mouth, you clamped your lips closed and sucked. You were rewarded by the sight of Levi’s eyes rolling back into his head as he moaned and bucked beneath you.
You steadied yourself with your hands on his chest as you moved your hips, setting a decent pace. Every time his cock was fully inside you, it sent spikes of pleasure through your gut. You moaned around his tail, but didn’t let it out of your mouth. Your tongue was too busy exploring the unusual feeling of his scales.
Levi was a mess beneath you, his hands gripping your hips so tightly you knew there’d be marks later. He couldn’t stop himself from meeting your movements and the lower part of his tail that was wrapped around you seemed to be moving you, too. You found you barely had to do any of the work yourself. You still maintained the pace and position, though, and Levi seemed to be content to let you.
Your heavy breathing filled the room along with the sound of skin smacking against skin and Levi’s soft whines. You decided you wanted to hear a little more, reaching out to pinch one of his nipples.
Levi cried out and you laughed softly around the tail in your mouth. Levi pulled his tail out as it squeezed around you even more. It was almost painful but not quite. You knew he didn’t even realize what he was doing and that made it all the more enjoyable.
“Sorry,” you said between heaving panting now that your mouth was free. “Did that hurt?”
Levi whined. “D-do it again-“
He didn’t have to ask twice. But you decided this time it would be more satisfactory to use your teeth. The tail around you slackened just a bit as you moved your body forward and bit down on the sensitive skin.
Levi was squirming hard beneath you now and you knew it was only a matter of time before he came. You increased your pace, letting your arms rest on his shoulders, pulling him into your body as you focused on your movement.
Everything around you tightened - Levi’s tail, his hands, even his eyes squeezing shut - as he came inside of you.
Levi cried out your name so beautifully as his tail went limp, falling into a heap around you.
Levi kept his eyes closed tight as your pace slackened. You were about to stop when you felt the tip of his tail, still wet from your mouth, finding its way between your legs, just barely touching your most sensitive spot.
It was so unexpected, you gasped.
Levi peeked at you, opening one eye just enough to register the look of surprise on your face. “D-don’t stop,” he said. And his hands gripped your hips hard again, keeping you moving.
“But-!” you protested. “How are you still-?”
The blush that alighted on Levi’s face made you smile. You were about to ask him how he was still hard after he came only seconds ago. There was something going on there, but you felt too good in that moment to pursue it further.
The tail between your legs seemed to have a mind of its own. It was only moments before you weren’t able to form full sentences anyway. You barely registered the look of adorable determination on Levi’s face before you felt that tightening in your gut.
You ended up leaving light scratch marks across his chest as you came, his tail continuing its ministrations as you rode out your orgasm.
You drew in some heavy breaths as you collapsed against Levi, letting your head settle in the crook of his neck. His arms moved to wrap around you, hugging you close to him, and his tail did the same, but not too tightly.
“You’re still hard,” you said, pressing light kisses to his neck.
Levi groaned. “Asmo gave me this potion…”
You laughed softly against his skin. “Oh, was it more potent than you thought it’d be?”
“D-don’t laugh, MC!” he said even as his grip on you tightened.
“I’m sorry,” you said. “Do you want me to help you out?”
Levi was quiet for a long time before he finally said. “A-actually, if you could just… stay like this…”
You were more than content to stay in Levi’s arms and cockwarm him all night if that’s what he wanted. You both fell asleep soon enough, though it would take some time for the potion to fade.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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conelluwrites · 6 months
Text
the red means i love you
Reader/Doppelgänger Francis (main focus on the doppelgänger aspect) (reader goes by she/her and is described with vaginal terms)
posted on my AO3
word count: 2.6k
title from The Red Means I Love You by Madds Buckley
Contains: monster fucking (doppelgänger fucking), headcanon design for non-disguised doppels, barbed dick, breeding, and blood drinking
You let the wrong one in, but maybe it's not as bad as it seems when you invite him back to your apartment.
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“Mmm…”  The voice sounds uncanny, too similar to Francis with the slightest hint of a purr that the tired milkman would never express, “I’m rather thankful that you let me in earlier, you know?”  His uniform is clean and tidy, well put together in a way that Francis would never be able to achieve due to his early morning risings.  His hair is just barely out of place.  Things that no one would notice-- things that make her wish that she had called Francis’ apartment to see if he was home.
“W-Wha-!”  The doorman stumbles back in fear, causing her to bump her back into the chest of the doppelgänger who all too readily wraps his arms around her waist.  One of his hands trails down her rigid arm and grabs the hand of hers that is trembling its way towards the phone.  Even if he didn’t intervene, the D.D.D. would not arrive in time to prevent any damages, he was in the safety room.  His fingertips are inhuman, too sharp but not yet undisguised, as they intertwine with her own to prevent her from dialing the number she memorized so easily.
“Shhh, shhh…  There’s no reason for you to be afraid.”  He coos, brushing his nose against the exposed flesh of her neck.  “No need to scream, no need to squirm, no need to put up a fight…”  His voice is velvety but now lacks the tiredness the real Francis carries.  It’s not surprising that he’s giving up his disguise piece by piece, she assumes that it must take some level of effort to be so near-perfectly disguised and she knows at this point she’s utterly fucked.  “I could take you away from this annoying position forever if you want.  No pesky D.D.D. agents, no more anxiety from our kind, no more living in fear.  Sounds pretty nice, hm?”  His free hand goes to hold her chin, his sharp thumb slightly digging into her jawline.
“But I gotta protect my neighbors.  My job-- sitting here and looking at everyone and their documents, it might suck at times but it keeps everyone safe.”  She says, her voice trembling.  Her throat is bone dry from fear, her chest aches from the uneven breathing leaving her slightly open lips.
“Oh, my dear, that’s such a noble sentiment.”  The doppelgänger sighs dramatically before shaking his head.  He spins her around in his grasp, the hand that was holding hers goes to her waist.  His fingers trace along her jawline, making sure to keep a gentle, but firm, grip on her so she cannot try to escape.  There’s a bright grin on his face, his teeth too white to be human.  “But how many times have they let you down?  Surely they have failed you before.  People are fickle creatures; they don’t appreciate what they have until it’s gone.  I promise to protect you, sweetheart, just let me stay with you tonight, hm?”
Her mind races, so many thoughts of her own death and the death of her neighbors.  “How do I know you won’t hurt me?”  The answer is obvious-- if the doppel were going to hurt her, he already would have.  He’s stronger than her, stronger than any human and she’s still in his grasp.  If he wanted to maim her, he would have already.  “You doppelgängers just want to kill and eat us.”
“Ah, you misunderstand me, darling!  I could never harm a hair on your lovely head.”  The doppelgänger earnestly insists.  His thumb brushes gently across her cheek, trying to so lovingly convince her.  “All I want is to hear more stories about your day and listen to those sweet little fears of yours…  And yes, perhaps indulge myself in some delicious blood as well.”  He’s whispering intimately, as if they’re a pair of lovers.  The grip on her waist tightens slightly but remains mostly gentle, it’s almost comforting despite the sharp nails against her shirt.  “C’mon… please trust me.”
“But I-”  her voice dies out the longer she allows herself to fall into the illusion of mutual trust.
“It’s okay, my love,” he murmurs understandingly, “don’t overthink things, hm?”  He kisses her temple tenderly, a perfect imitation of love between humans.  His eyes flicker towards the phone, allowing even himself to dream of a different world where he could whisk her away and keep her all to himself.  “Let’s just go for now, let’s go somewhere private where no one can bother us.”
She relents easily, tearing her gaze from his face and allowing it to travel down the white uniform before making its way back up to his face.  “My apartment is on the first floor.  We… We can go there together.  We don’t have to worry about others seeing us, everyone else is in for the night.”
Francis’ grin grows even more, his canines growing sharper than any humans can be naturally, “That sounds perfect.”  He sounds appreciative, leading him gently to the door to exit the safety room.  The walk to the apartment is short.  As the apartment door closes, the intensity changes slightly; he is watching her carefully while also taking the new space.  “Nice place.  So cozy…”
“Thank you….” She murmurs. “I figured it’s safer for you to be here than anywhere else in the complex.”
Francis’ doppelgänger hums thoughtfully before nodding in agreement.  After the brief exchange, he takes the opportunity to explore the small apartment, touching things lightly as if trying to understand their purpose and history though touch alone.  Every movement exudes confidence in his decision-making process, evaluating the potential of each object.  “You’re so brave, you know.  C’mere.”
She walks over to him hesitantly and stands there.  The doppelgänger is taller than her.  Despite it all, since he’s imitating one of her neighbors that she’s rather fond of, she feels herself relaxing.  He wraps an arm around her waist casually, pulling her close while leaning down until their hands nearly touch.  He inhales deeply, enjoying the warmth that a human being brings.  He drawings circles on his back with his free hand.  He continues to lean down slowly -- closer and closer to her neck.  Her breath hitches as his nose finally meets her neck.  Her hands meet his waist and tighten slightly, crinkling his shirt.  Adrenaline is racing through her body, making her tremble slightly but she refuses to pull away.  The way the doppelgänger rubes and nuzzles his nose into the crook of her neck is the sweetest thing she’s experienced recently.
The doppelgänger lets out a satisfied rumble, savoring the sensation of her trembling beneath his touch.  If anyone saw them now, they’d assume it was two lovers locked in passion.  His lips brush against the skin he finds lightly before he stops abruptly.  “Promise me something -- promise that you won’t run away.”
“...”  She considers his words carefully.  Every primal instinct in her is begging her to run, to get away as fast as she can.  But she hasn't and, to be honest to herself, she doesn’t want to.  She’s rather content staying like this, being in his arms with his face buried in her neck.  She know he could bite her, sink sharp teeth in her neck and finish her life in less than a second, but she finds herself trusting that he won’t.  “ I promise.”
“Good girl.”  He praises softly, finally giving into temptation and pressing his teeth gently against her neck.  Not hard enough to yet draw blood, just merely teasing her.  His arm tightens around her as the gravity of her promise fully settles between the pair.  The danger she’s in never fully dissipates but mixes well with the affection he’s showing her.  “You deserve a reward for trusting me.”
“Oh?  Like what?” She asks, her grip on him loosening as her body adapts to the unfamiliar situation.
Francis’ doppelgänger chuckles, the vibrations tickling her neck.  “Don’t fret, just something that will make us both happy.”  With a groan, he allows his disguise to slip further and further, his teeth sharpening.  They puncture her skin ever so slightly, blood trickles immediately out of the small wounds.  With a satisfied hum, he pulls away and licks his lips, allowing blood to pool.  “Just relax, enjoy this moment.”  She struggles out a broken moan; it’s not necessarily painful but it reminds her of how weak and vulnerable she is in the moment, a feeling that is intoxicating.  “Relax.” he murmurs against her skin soothingly.  There was no aggression or hunger driving him, it was just to provide nutrients for him to continue his time with her.  Slowly yet deliberately, he licks up the collected droplets while sucking lightly on the wound.  He alternates between suckling and licking the wounds, moaning.
“Y’gonna leave a hickey on me.” She sighs out, her body relaxing even further.
“Only for me to look at later.”  He promises, his breath hot on her dampened flesh.  The rhythm slows down until it stops altogether and he pulls away.  Slowly and carefully, he raises his gaze to meet hers.  “Now tell me more about those annoying D.D.D. agents.”
“I don’t know much about them, to be honest.  They don’t hang around after the cleaning procedure and they don’t talk to me aside from congratulating me on living another way.”  She says, swiping a bit of her own blood from his lips with his thumb.
“You should know more than that.”  He growls. “We could use your help some day.”
“We?  You want me to help the doppelgängers?”
“Of course.  Someone like you, someone so skilled at calling us out…  You could be helpful in our cause.”
“I don’t believe that’s such a worthy cause…” She murmurs, resting her head against his chest.  His heartbeat is inhuman, too slow to be human, but it’s relaxing.  “Though…”
“Though?  You would be safe -- you’d be part of our family.  Perhaps one day I could introduce you to some of the ones I’m closest to.”
“Mm.”  She weighs his words carefully.  In a disturbing, unacceptable way, it’s almost sweet.  “I suppose that, as long as I’m protected by you, I’d be honored to meet them.  Does that make us mates?”
“Indeed.”  Silence stretches between them for a moment.  “In our world, we share souls upon consummation.”  He stares into her eyes after the statement, gauging her reaction based on his customs.
“Ah, like marriages for humans then?  Do you want to consummate our bond?”
The doppelgänger stiffens slightly at first before relaxing.  “Yes.  But we must proceed cautiously.”
“Why’s that, my love?  Is your genitalia that different?”  She asks, leaning up to nuzzle her nose against his for a moment before pulling away and going to stroke his cheek softly.  The skin is rubbery and like ice against her fingers.
“Hm…  No, not quite.”  There’s a beat of uncomfortable silence, he allows her mind to wander with possibilities.  “Our release is also quite different, I believe.  Is that okay?”
She’s quiet for a moment, allowing herself time to fully comprehend the possibilities ahead of her. “Yes.  I want to be your mate, so please…  mate with me the way doppelgängers do.”  Francis’ doppelgänger feels a surge of triumph.  The transformation starts gradually as he allows himself to rip through his disguise.  The clothes rip and tatter, falling to the ground around him as she lets him go, allowing him to fully transform.  Glistening black scales peek through skin like moonlight reflecting off ocean waves, his fingers grow out to sharp daggers, his arms and legs elongate as his muscles tense.  His teeth barely fit in his mouth, the sharp points poking slightly over his lips.  His cock is impossibly thick and long, tiny barbs lining the sides as it oozes black pre-cum.  He lifts her effortlessly, his hands on her ass as he carries her to her bedroom and places her gently on the bed.
“Lie back.”  He commands quietly, watching every breath he takes with anticipation and hunger.  She lays back, obediently as he hovers over her patiently.  There’s no shame or hesitation in his gaze as his hand travels up her shirt to lift it over her head.  She tugs off her pants, leaving her in her bra and panties.  His gaze is full of pride.  “You’re mine now, my soulmate.”
“You’re perfect.”  She says softly, cupping his face and kissing his monstrous face lovingly.  Her lips meet his rough lips and pointed teeth.  She winces preemptively as his sharp claws make easy work of her panties, tugging on the fabric until it tears away and reveals her glistening sex.  The thick, black sludge lubricates his cock, making it ease into her cunt slowly and easily despite its grand size.  She feels the tiny barbs grow slightly, just enough to dig into her walls to prevent her from squirming away or resisting.
He hisses appreciatively at the compliment and the feeling of her heat enveloping her slowly.  “You’re tight.”  He grunts out raggedly, thrusting deep.  The sensation matches beast-like intensity, every movement echoing throughout the small bedroom.
“Hah, you’re bigger than I expected.  So fuckin’ thick.” She pants out, her cunt swallowing his cock with little resistance.  “I was scared about the bars, but shit…  your cock is so perfect for me.”  The doppelgänger lets out an animalistic moan at her declaration, his thrusts becoming more aggressive and intense.
“That’s it!  Take everything I got!”  He exclaims hoarsely, nails digging into her hips.  “Answer me, would you want children?”  He gasps urgently.  Despite the heaviness of the question he posed, he keeps pushing relentlessly -- seeking assured release.
“I-I-!  Yes!  I want to swell with your young.”  She says lovingly, moaning.
He roars at his words, bowing low to catch her lips.  The kiss is filled with dominance and ownership.  “Perfect.”  He growls into her mouth, shifting positions easily so she’s on top of him.  “Ride me until we’re done.”
She straddles him easing, wincing as the shift in positioning digs his barbs deep into her cunt.  “Fuck, baby…”  She breathes out, her hands on his chest.  Her hips raise up and down rapidly despite her legs trembling greatly.
“Let me see those pretty eyes looking into mine.”  He orders hoarsely.  He hisses as her cunt adjusts.  The pain she felt was only temporary, but served its purpose well: reminding her whose body she was riding, a dangerous creature holding immense power over her.  His own gaze burned with need and desperation, pleading silently for satisfaction.  
She looks into his eyes obediently, so full of adoration for the monster.  “I-I-...”  Her breath hitches, she can’t finish her sentence.  She’s too embarrassed to admit her love for him.  Instead, she leans down to kiss him.  Her soft lips meeting his rough, uneven ones.
“Say it.  Tell me how much we mean to each other.”  He demands huskily.  His barbs grow slightly more, haling her movements for a single second.  It’s a sign of his nearing climax that’s mirrored by her frantic movements once she adjusts to the growth.
“I love you, fuck, I love you!”  She moans loudly.  Her cunt begins to quiver and massage his cock.  “Cum in me, cum in me, cum in me.”  She whimpers as his barbs dig in even more as her tight walls convulse around him.  Suddenly she can feel a torrent of his dark, murky cum release deep into her cunt.  His cock swells greatly, making her gasp and cum around him.  Her slick dribbles down his cock and coats him.  Her body slowly relaxes as his barbs retract but he remains swollen.  She lays limp against him, breathing heavily.
He roars hoarsely, pumping several times harder with his thickened cock.  He remains still, breathing heavily with his arms tight around her as he lays on his side, holding her tight to his chest.  It’ll take several minutes for his cock to decrease in size, but it’s unlikely that either of the two will be awake.  “Our bond is sealed.”  He rasps against her ear, nuzzling gently against sensitive skin.
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
Note
sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.
and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...
SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*
Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO
Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK
Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("
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SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-
Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao
Edit Update 4/6/23:
Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol
I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-
Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first
WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3
Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???
Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming, 
but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-
Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)
It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.
I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-
It was just…wow. 🥺
You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway
She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.
After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,
Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,
“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *
…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.
…Oh no.
Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!
Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀
Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.
Then he would scribble for hours.
Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)
The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou
At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language
They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol
Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)
But even then not immediately, 
Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?
Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)
Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!
It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today
…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…
Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,
or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,
your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue
So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/
Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier
But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats
…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.
You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around
You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps
You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)
And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city
…so why not go?
It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀
You can totally handle being like the traveler too, 
You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!
So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems
(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️
And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you
So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with
Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!
...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!
When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all ���✨️💖☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-
He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol
He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands
“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...) 
But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol
Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?
She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,
His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-” 
Cyno stops and blinks.
Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.
You blink. 
Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.
The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.
Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner, 
As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch
But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.
Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face
The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic
Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,
“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?
Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine
“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,
“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”
Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,
and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too
With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…
Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!
With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands
You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after
You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow
He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away
You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)
The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-
and it fucking explodes.
Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.
The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-
You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)
Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno
Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow
…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,
and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/
Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-
“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."
… and you just 🙂? Cool!
And give a thumbs up👍LMAO
Bonus:
Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.
Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-
Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol
Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao
(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)
ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!
Bro has anyone else had this problem???
I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!
FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH
ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED 
And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:
*hint = Atbash
:> good luck!
Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭
Safe Travels,
💀♒
♡ the beloveds ♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
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rainylana · 5 months
Text
“Takin’ care of my best girl.”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: reader has a panic attack during the night.
warnings: panic attack, anxiety, tears and descriptions of anxiety symptoms, hurt/comfort, fear of allergic reaction/throat swelling.
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You’re sitting on the porch. The air is cool and breezy against your face, the moon shines a calming light on the grass in from of you, making it shimmer. There’s cats roaming in trash cans. Maybe they’re raccoons, actually. It was a beautiful night, but you weren’t really able to enjoy it.
Your heart was pounding, head aching and body trembling with fear, a fear you didn’t know what it exactly was. Your stomach was so twisted with knots and nerves you thought you’d surely pass out. It hurt to breath. You couldn’t breath. Your hands were cradling your head, holding your body tight and hoping it would pass.
It always passed. It always went away and you were always okay. They didn’t normally get this bad. You were getting so much better at handling them. For some reason tonight wasn’t the case. You debated waking Eddie up, but you hated keeping him up with you when you got this way. It wasn’t fair to him.
You had tried all the things to help you. You squeezed an ice cub in your palm, took a cold shower, tried watching to tv to distract yourself. You couldn’t stop swallowing, testing to see if your throat was closing up, which was now raw and irritated from your constant swallowing. You tried taking deep breaths, hands shaking as you placed a hand over your chest, grasping at your shirt.
Once you thought you were getting better, it would start up again. The sudden racing of your heart that made you breathless. After a few minutes, you began to pace, gripping at your chest and willing it to go away. What if there was something wrong with you? Were your lungs actually closing? Were you having an allergic reaction?
That’s what got you every time. You always thought you were dying, and you never were.
You needed to go to the hospital. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You’d been to the er many times for panic attacks, but what if it was serious this time? With trembling legs you walked back inside to your bedroom, rounding the bed and shaking Eddie urgently.
“Eddie?” Your still holding your chest. “Eddie?”
His eyes flutter open, squinting in the dark. “Hmm?”
“I’m scared.” You say, bringing up a nail to bite. “I think something might be wrong.”
Those key words had him sitting up, rubbing his eyes. He leans over and switches on the light, looking up to take you in. He knows what’s wrong immediately, lifting the blanket so he can get out of bed. “What’s going on?” His voice is tired and gruff. “You anxious about something?”
You shake your head yes, grasping at your throat. “I- I uh, I think my throat might be swelling up. Maybe I ate something.”
He nods slowly, bringing his hands up to ghost at your arms. “What brought this on? Did it just start?”
“No, I’ve been up awhile.” You say, trying to swallow again. You do, but harshly, pushing out a choked breath that has you pacing around the room. “Eddie, I’m scared.”
“You’re alright, baby.” He’s following you, grabbing your hand. “Come on, let’s go out to the living room.” He guides you out there, sitting you on the kitchen chair by the stove. “I’ll make you some tea.”
Your eyes start to well up and you shake your head. “No, I- I think we should go to the hospital, Eddie.” Your voice came out desperate.
He’d done this with you so many times, yet the urgency and fear in your voice always made him nervous, even though he knew you were completely fine. He puts the tea in the microwave, setting it for two minutes before he’s crouching in front of you. “Hey,” He’s grasping your face. “You’re alright. You know that. We just have to work through it okay? Like we always do.”
You let out a sob that makes his heart ache, a tear dropping town to his wrist. “But I’m scared.”
“I know you are.” He coos, petting your hair. “If you really want to go I’ll take you, but you’re strong enough to fight this, baby. I’m right here with you, right? We can get through this.” He leans up and kisses your forehead, then your cheek, going back to the microwave to let you think.
Your knee is bouncing quickly, your knuckles tapping at the table like you’re trying to communicate through morse code. Your breathing gets heavier and heavier, your head getting harder to keep up. You gasp, groaning loudly as you lean over.
He’s bringing the cup of tea over to you quickly, sitting it on the table to hold your back. “Just breath, sweetheart.” He’s rubbing your back, crouching beside you. “You’re alright.”
You start to sob, head between your knees as you fight to be sick. You hiccup, shoulders shaking with your cries. You reach to grip his arm. “My stomach hurts so bad.”
It wasn’t rare for you to throw up when you got worked up. He quickly brought the kitchen trashcan over to you, sitting it in front of you so you could have it at the ready.
“Keep breathing.” He instructs you, bringing the tea over to you. “Here, try and drink some of this.” He wasn’t ever sure if the tea helped, but it made him feel useful when you got to feeling poorly.
When your tea is gone, after practically gulping down the hot liquid, he’s rubbing your shaking shoulders, trying to get the knots out of muscles. He switches on the tv to gilligans island, the episode where the professor is trying to make a phone out of a coconut and a banana peel.
You keep crying through half of the episode, coiling over here and there. When you did, he rubbed the back of your neck and kissed your shoulder, telling you to breath and that you were going to get through it.
When you’re three episodes in, your tears have stopped and you’re left with nothing but embarrassment and humiliation, your face beat red as you begin to mutter an apology. “I’m sorry.” Your voice is shaky and hoarse. He’s sitting beside you now, his arm tossed around your shoulders.
“Don’t be.” He smiles, tapping your nose. “Just doing my job.”
“Your job?” You sniffle.
“Takin’ care of my best girl.” He kissed you, a quick peck on the lips as he leans over and turns off the living room light, snuggling back into the couch and pulling you into his chest.
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pomefioredove · 5 months
Note
i crave angst and hurt/comfort/fluff maybe something like that with vil? maybe reader gets hurt pretty badly or something and vil gets upset?? hehe angsty scenarios>>
on my hands and knees rn... vil... save me vil...
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summary: anger is an ugly emotion type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, angsty..... mentions of bullying/abuse etc?? very open ended you can interpret that how you please, GOD this is indulgent
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Anger is an ugly emotion.
So much is true even for Vil Schoenheit. If you asked him, there is nothing more undignified than losing your composure in front of others, especially those under your care.
No, Vil keeps such emotions to himself. If he feels the need to get a point across, or to settle a conflict, he will do so with grace and dignity. He won't even break a nail.
This is different.
This is seeing you turn away from him with tears in your eyes, and feeling as if the very world itself is crashing down around him.
He cannot stand it.
He cannot stand seeing you like this.
It shakes him to his very core. You've had bad days, evenings where you come crawling into Pomefiore looking as if the world had chewed you up and spit you back out at his feet, and he's tended to it.
He's combed your hair, cleaned the dirt out from under you nails, bandaged your paper cuts with a sort of gentleness he doesn't even reserve for himself, made you look new and whole again.
Vil can't help with this.
It drives him mad. It makes him feel like he's stuck inside his own ribcage with nothing but the sound of his beating heart, trapped in a flurry of confusion and anxiety.
He wishes you would just talk about it. It would make everything so much easier if you would let him help.
But he won't pressure you. He couldn't bring himself to. And, quite frankly, if he knew even the slightest detail about whomever had been making you feel this way, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from finding them and mincing them to shreds.
As they deserved.
But Vil is not one to rush into anything. He is patient, cordial, taking his sweet time to understand a problem from all angles before enacting a solution.
And so, he doesn't ask.
He holds your chin between his delicate fingers and dabs at the corners of your eyes, hoping to brush away your misery along with your tears.
You sniffle. It's not a pretty sight- you're certainly no graceful crier.
He couldn't care less.
The only thing that Vil can think of now is how only one measly person could be your undoing.
After everything you've been through without even breaking a sweat, all it took were a few too-familiar words to melt you into a pool of bad memories and misery at his feet.
Sevens help whichever poor fool had done this to you.
"Now, now. That's alright," he coos, wiping your cheeks just as a new barrage of tears runs down them. "Don't worry about a thing."
You just barely manage to choke out a response. "I'm sorry, this is- this is embarrassing,"
"Nonsense. You have nothing to feel bad for. I promise I won't utter a word of this to the others,"
He cups your face in his palms, giving you a moment to compose yourself.
"Deep breaths," he instructs. "Seven seconds in, hold it, for just a moment, and then seven seconds out. There. Excellent job."
It's quiet. The sound of sobs and his own heart pounding seem to fade into quiet breaths shared between the both of you.
"Good," he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. A repetitive, soothing motion. "How do you feel?"
"Guilty," you say. "I didn't mean to ruin your evening."
"You've ruined nothing. You're very important to me, you know. I would never want you to think I'm too busy for you," he offers a smile. "Now, how do you feel?"
You're quiet for a moment, likely mulling over his words. Your voice is softer when you reply. "Tired,"
"Oh... you poor thing. I can't have you dead on your feet tomorrow, now, can I?"
You shake your head.
He stands, pulling you up with him. "Come along, then. Let's get you to bed. I'll help,"
He begins guiding you away from the couch you'd spent the better half of the evening sobbing on. You respond in a quiet voice.
"Vil?"
"Mm? Yes?"
"You promise you won't say anything about this to the others?"
A look of utter softness crosses his face at your request, and he smiles again. "My lips are sealed,"
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yaksha-lover · 7 months
Text
It Will Come Back
Summary: You take in an injured fox, nursing it back to health. It keeps coming back, some times more human-like than others.
Kitsune!Malleus Draconia x Reader
cw: very minor description of blood/gore, mentioned wild animal death, minor suggestive jokes, starts out a little spooky (or so i tried) but inevitably becomes wholesome-ish, pls ignore typos i’m too tired to proof-read
The fox you find by the riverside isn’t like any you’ve seen before. His fur is so dark that it takes a moment for you to even notice the wet blood matting the left side of his rib cage.
The sight of an injured animal is all too common for you. Living far from any big towns means there’s hardly any available treatment for them. Your neighbour, the only other living person around here, always dismisses your worries about the poor creatures, telling you that it’s only the circle of life.
As much as you know he’s right, your bleeding heart insists on taking the black fox home, if only for him to have some comfort in his last moments. You know he won’t survive the journey to town; he may not have the hours necessary to get there.
He’s large for a fox, too. You consider calling your neighbour to help, but you know he’ll only roll his green eyes at your pleas. Instead, you lift him into a wheelbarrow as gently as you can, and pull him back to your small cottage.
He whimpers a little as you move him, but his eyes remain closed. When you arrive, you transport him carefully to the makeshift bed you’ve put together, piles of blankets you hope will be enough to keep him warm and comfortable.
When you come back with water and some medical supplies, the fox opens one eye. It’s strangely eerie, the way he stares at you as you approach. His lime gaze is intense and focused, almost as though he’s trying to examine you, peeling away your skin with his eyes. You shake off the feeling, knowing you’re probably overthinking things.
He’s only an animal, after all.
The fox remains silent as you clean his wounds. Thankfully, they don’t seem as bad as you initially suspected. It’s strange - there seemed to be so much blood before, the wound was practically gushing. Was it a trick of the light?
You must be tired from your long day of foraging; now you’re seeing things.
You leave him wrapped in bandages and huddled in blankets to rest for the night.
-
The next morning, you awake to a warmth at your side. It’s been getting a bit colder, but even your blankets don’t tend to run this hot. You pop an eye open and panic for a moment at the fluffy black mass curled up beside you. You giggle to yourself when you realize what’s happened.
“How’d you get up here, little fox? I thought you’d feel too ill to move.”
The fox raises his head at the noise, tilting it as you speak. You offer him your hand, and he sniffs it, before moving his head to be cupped in your extended palm.
“I’m just glad you’re okay. Make yourself at home,” you say, petting him gently between the ears. He closes his eyes and settles into your touch.
As you get up to begin your day, you expect him to stay curled up in your sheets. Instead, he hops off the bed, suddenly wide awake, and prances happily behind you into the kitchen, no sign of the injury he suffered just last night.
Questions run through your mind, unease playing in your stomach. It’s all so bizzare, but you try to settle the anxiety. Why question a good thing, no matter how strange?
-
“What should I call you, little guy? I don’t want to keep calling you ‘the fox.’”
He stares at you, green eyes narrowed softly as he takes a seat on your couch, making himself at home by cuddling into the cushions. The seating is already worn down, but either way, you wouldn’t care much about where he sat.
“Hmm, how about Tsunotarou? Your ears are so pointy, they almost look like little horns!”
He raises his head to look at you, as though he understands. You smile back at him, mooning over his cuteness and reaching a hand out to pet him. You hover your hands over his head, waiting for his go ahead.
You beam when he pushes his head up into your hand, petting enthusiastically but remaining gentle for his sake.
You’re interrupted by a knock at the door. There’s only one person who ever comes over, so it’s no surprise to hear the voice of your neighbour ring out in the silence.
“Oi, open the door, herbivore. What’s all this blood outside your home?”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s not mine,” you call from inside. You walk to the door, letting him in. “I…made another rescue attempt.”
He gives you a look that screams ‘seriously’. “Another failure then? I don’t know why you do this to yourself.”
“Actually, Leona, this one was a success. Check my couch before you doubt me so fast.”
Leona pushes you gently away from the doorway so he can come in, and peeks around the corner.
The expression on his face morphs from surprise to confusion to disappointment. Leona sighs. “You didn’t…”
“Didn’t what? Save a life? Clearly, I did. Although, I’ll admit Tsunotarou wasn’t in such bad shape, so maybe I didn’t do too much of the work. But still, you can stop calling me silly for wanting to try-”
“Tsunotarou??” Leona stares at the fox. He stares back and almost seems…amused? Strange, your fox certainly was expressive and clever. “Ugh, this is too much for me to deal with. You’re an adult, you can handle it. I’m just going to leave these here.”
Leona drops a bag of meat on the counter. It was part of your usual trade; he’d give you part of his hunt, and you’d give him part of what you grew in your garden.
“No one asked you to help deal with him? What do you mean…”
Leona ignores your questioning, heading out of your kitchen and stopping as he passes by the couch where Tsunotarou still lays, watching. He turns to face him.
“Don’t hurt them. I’ll be checking in again soon, so no tricks, or else you’ll be dealing with me.”
“Did you just threaten my rescue fox?”
He ignores you once again, only pausing briefly in the doorway to leave you with a final warning.
“Scream if you need help.” With that, Leona is off, probably back to his cottage across the field.
You’re left confused, but Leona rarely cares to let you in on what he’s thinking, so you try your best to just ignore his words. There’s a prick of fear in the back of your mind, though, because Leona is never serious, but his warning certainly seemed to be.
No, he’s just been talking nonsense. How could the sweet angel on your couch be any threat? Tsunotarou had cuddled up to you just this morning.
You finally turn back to him. He’s watching you. Again. With a slight head tilt this time, his dark ears standing straight, as though he’s curious. You approach the fox to sit beside him on the couch. Once you begin your soft pets, he places his head into your lap.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. Big bad Leona won’t hurt you. I don’t know what’s up with him today. He’s probably just spooked from all the dead animals that have been showing up around the area. I mean, what does he expect, we live in the woods.”
Tsunotarou picks himself up from the couch. You expect him to jump off, maybe even try to escape through the door. Instead, he plants himself fully in your lap, curling up into a tight little ball.
Even the overwhelming cuteness of the situation is too much for you to ignore how strange it is. As you stroke your hand across his fur once again, you wonder how this wild fox could be so tame. Was he someone’s pet once? He had no collar, but he could’ve been lost years ago.
With the warmth of the fox in your lap, it’s easy to drift off to sleep for a quick nap.
-
Tsunotarou’s gone when you wake up. At first you think he’s just gone off to explore the house, but you’ve checked every room and he’s nowhere to be found. Which would normally be fine (he is a wild animal after all, he deserves to be where he belongs) except for the fact that no doors nor windows were open or broken. Tsunotarou had disappeared with no explanation.
-
You awaken to a familiar warmth, the brush of something soft against your bare legs.
“Were you hiding somewhere Tsunotarou?” You smile, eyes still closed as you snuggle against- skin?
“Not hiding. I had some business to attend to.”
Your eyes pop open as whatever is in your bed circles its arms around you, letting out a scream as two very human eyes stare back at you. You scramble out of its hold.
“What the hell?! Who are you? Get out of my bed!”
He pouts. “You just said yourself, I’m Tsunotarou.”
“No, Tsunotarou is a-” It’s only then you take notice of the dark ears poking out of his head and the three tails swaying behind him. “How did you- never mind, just get out of my bed first! Who told you you could be there?”
He steps out from your sheets, thankfully clothed in a loose black kimono. “My apologies. Children of man have changed much since I last spoke to one. I did not realize I would alarm you with my presence in this form.”
“So what, you’re some kind of monster?”
Malleus frowns. “I prefer the term creature. Monster suggests something…wicked.”
“Alright, creature then.” You narrow your eyes. “What kind?”
He approaches you and ruffles your hair, sharp claws dragging gently against your scalp before you have the chance to pull away. “Surely you can guess by my form. Have you truly never encountered a kitsune before?”
“A kitsune? I thought they were only tales told by bored grandparents.”
“I’m a mori kitsune, so it’s understandable you’ve never seen my kind before. But it’s likely you’ve met a different kind of kitsune who prefers the more…urban spaces that children of man typically occupy.”
“You don’t like being around humans?”
He hums. “I wouldn’t say that’s true. Rather, the opposite seems to be the case. Most children of man find me…unsettling, despite my best efforts.” He makes eye contact, a small smile appearing on his face. “But not you. You took care of me.”
“When…when I thought you were a fox.”
“Technically, I am still a fox,” he says cheekily.
You glare weakly, but your ire doesn’t seem to break his good mood.
-
You’re out gathering herbs for dinner when you spot it. A trickle of deep red, so dry it almost looks brown, which builds into a streak across the ground, as though whatever left it behind was dragged as it thrashed.
Although you know you live in a forest full of wild animals, the scenes you’ve come across recently have been…odd. Brutal. As though whatever’s been killing and eating the animals has a strangely horrifying way of committing the act, leaving behind carnage, but never a body.
You force yourself to shake off the unsettling feeling and return back home once you’re done.
-
“Hello, my dear.”
You jump slightly at the voice. Tsunotarou sits on your couch when you return. You’d asked him to leave the previous day, after your long bouts of questioning left you exhausted and unable to deal with all the information. He seems to have returned to reclaim the same place he occupied as a fox. You don’t bother asking how he got in.
“Hello…Tsunotarou? It feels strange to keep calling you that made up name…do you plan to offer your own?” you ask as you put away the things you’d gathered in your cupboards.
He waits for a moment to respond, considering your words. “I suppose I can, although I do not mind your other name for me. You may call me Malleus, if you wish.”
“Malleus, huh. Why do I feel like I’ve heard your name before?”
“Perhaps in another lifetime, you spoke it often,” his smile grows as you turn around and look at him skeptically. “Just jesting, of course.”
You roll your eyes when you turn around. He’s certainly made himself comfortable with you; you can’t really say the same, considering how long you’ve known each other.
Still, you’re so unsettled by what you’ve been seeing for the past few weeks, you risk allowing him to believe you’re closer than you are to have someone to talk to about it.
“You wander out in the woods at night, right? Have you seen the blood and…things, left behind by something?”
His reply is delayed, but you barely take notice. “Yes, I have.”
“Isn’t it disturbing? I just keep thinking, what’s moved into the forest to do something like that, like it’s some kind of performance of torment instead of an animal eating to survive.”
Malleus only hums, offering you no comfort. “I never considered that.”
The two of you settle into a comfortable silence. You start on dinner, and he seems content to watch you from the couch. Since he’s already here, you offer to make a larger portion so he can have some as well.
“Thank you, but I’ve already dined today,” he replies.
It’s only once you’ve finished cooking and have settled into your kitchen table that Malleus makes his way from the couch to occupy the seat across from you.
You’re halfway through your soup when a question forms in your head.
“Malleus, how did you get hurt when I found you?” You look up at him, his green eyes finding yours.
Another pause before he answers. “It was a mere tussle with a…friend.”
“A friend did that to you? I thought you were going to die?!”
“Well, perhaps he would not consider me a friend. And while your concern is certainly endearing, I was in no true danger. Did you happen to notice how fast my wounds healed?”
“I guess I did…” Although it raises the question why he’s so insistent on clinging to you when you barely did anything to care for him, let alone save his life. “Your friend…where is he now?”
“Across the field. What children of man call ‘your neighbour’.”
“Leona? Leona did that to you? How is that even possible, I thought kitsune are infinitely stronger than humans?”
“Is that what he told you?” Malleus drawls.
“No, you’re the one who told me…what do you mean?”
He sighs in understanding. “Never mind, I suppose that is his business to tell you.”
“To tell me what?”
“Why don’t you pay your ‘friend’ a visit? It seems you have some things to discuss.”
-
Leona answers within a few seconds of your knocking, standing in the doorframe. When you stare at him without saying anything, his tail starts swishing in discomfort. Since when has he had a tail?
“You need something, herbivore? That little fox causing you trouble?”
You ignore his question. “Can I come in?”
He doesn’t reply, swinging the door open and stepping out of the way. You take off your shoes at the door and head into his living room.
“Make yourself at home, I guess,” he grumbles, following you.
You turn around to face him. “Why did you hurt Malleus? How do you even know a kitsune?”
“‘Malleus,’ is he now? What happened to Tsunotarou?”
“I didn’t know he wasn’t just a fox, okay? You didn’t tell me, but apparently you knew this whole time?”
He looks away from you. “I figured the problem would resolve itself. Kitsune aren’t exactly known for sticking around humans. Unfortunately, it seems he’s taken an interest in you.”
“And you fought him? Do you have a death wish? There’s no way a human could take on a kitsune!”
“I’m not- never mind. Let’s just say I was in an…altered state of mind. Wasn’t thinking clearly. Can we leave it at that?”
“That’s all you’re going to give me? No explanation for why you attacked him? Are you responsible for all the brutal animal killings too?”
Leona rolls his eyes. “You’re accusing me? Like you don’t already know how those happened.”
“What?”
“You can’t be serious. Are you really this obtuse?”
“Just spit it out, Leona.
“Malleus is the one who eats them, idiot. He’s a fox who likes to play with his prey”
“But- his fox form is petite? How is that possible?”
Leona rolls his eyes. “He can go from fox to human but that’s your concern? He’s magic and a trickster, so don’t believe everything your senses tell you.”
-
You think Malleus has left by the time you return from Leona’s, but he’s really made himself at home in your bedroom instead. You don’t bother addressing it yet.
“Why did you lie to me?”
His eyes look up from his book. Your book. “I have never lied to you, child of man.”
“Leona told me the truth! I know you’re the one who’s been killing those poor animals. How can I trust you, no, feel safe around you after you lied, and did…all that.”
“Your ‘neighbour’ is just the same as me. Do you no longer trust him as well?”
You sit down beside him on the bed. “Leona’s a kitsune?”
Malleus chuckles. “No. He has lied to you, though. He is not human but wolf. He hunts, just the same as I do. He just happens to be better at cleaning up his messes, I suppose.”
“I…I guess that makes sense. But that’s different. I know Leona, he’s my friend. And he doesn’t torment his prey.”
Malleus’ ears sag and he pouts. “I believed we were friends as well. We dined together. I slept in your bed.”
“When I thought you were an animal! Now you’re somebody else.”
“I am the same. It wounds me terribly that you’d change your opinion of me based on my appearance.” He sighs. “I suppose it’s only natural. Others often judge me quickly as well.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You know it’s not like that. If I’d met you like this, I wouldn’t have…”
“Wouldn’t have treated me so kindly?”
“No, I just…I don’t know how it is for you kitsune, but for humans, sharing a bed is…”
“Intimate?” he offers. “I am aware. I simply believed you were enamoured with me. ‘Love at first sight,’ isn’t that what children of man like to say?”
“You were a fox,” you deadpan.
“And now, I am human. Primarily.” His ear twitches. “I know now that changes things, but perhaps it is for the better? There’s many things I’ve yet to try in this form, and now I have my own child of man to teach me. Delightful, isn’t it?”
“Hm, I guess so. You can’t sleep with me, though.”
He tilts his head. “In what sense?”
You try to flick him on the forehead but he stops you, linking his hand with your own instead. “Do you even know how- uh-”
He laughs. “Yes, I am aware how children of man mate.”
“Never mind, we’ve gotten off track.” You glare at him. “I’m still angry with you.”
“I am aware. I find your flushed look quite compelling.”
“I wish you hadn’t lied to me.”
“Technically, I hadn’t. You never asked if it was I who killed them.” He shakes his head. “Kitsune must eat, but I would have never done so in that manner, if I had known it would be upsetting to you. I haven’t since our conversation, and I will not going forward, I promise you, dear child of man.”
“You’d do that? For me?”
“Of course. Anything for you, my darling.”
“But why? I’ve barely done anything for you?”
“You offered me kindness, which is in short supply for kitsune. And I find I quite like your abode.” He moves closer, catching your chin in his hand and turning you to face him. “I would enjoy spending more time here, if it would be permissible to you?”
“I guess that would be okay…but no funny business.”
His lips twitches. “None at all.”
-
Despite his inexperience with humans, Malleus learns how to settle into your life well. Tonight, he’s even insisted on cooking for you. He’s been practicing for a while, so you’re intrigued to finally try what he’s prepared.
As he plates the food in front of you, the smell wafts until you’re practically drooling. You catch him with a self-satisfied smile from the corner of your eye, as he watches you feast on the food he’s made for you.
“Enjoying yourself?” he asks.
“Yes, it’s very good, thank you.”
“The pleasure is all mine.”
Once the two of you finish your food, you take a seat beside one another on the couch. Malleus pulls out a small pouch. “I have something for you, my child of man.”
“A gift? You didn’t have to, Malleus.”
“I wished to. Now please, present me your hand.”
He takes your hand gently into his grip and straps on a stunning silver bracelet. It’s slim, but engraved with symbols, each segment a different kind.
“Thank you, Mal. I love it. Where did you get it, all the way out here?”
“I have had it in my possession for a very long time. Centuries, perhaps. It holds a protection spell from a strong mage. It will protect you, as you once protected me.”
You don’t know what to say, so you turn to hug him instead. You throw your arms around Malleus, squeezing him. It takes no longer than a moment for him to squeeze back.
It’s an hour later, once you’re in the middle of a game of chess, that Malleus speaks while moving his pawn.
“Do children of man desire life mates? I’ve observed, you live all by your lonesome.”
“A partner? Yeah, but not many options living out here.” You move your knight.
“Surely, there are some you might consider.” He moves another pawn.
“Nah, I’m not interested in Leona like that.”
“I did not mean the wolf. Someone a bit closer to yourself. Perhaps in this very room.”
“If you want to say something, you should say it. Humans prefer that.”
“Duly noted. Child of man, I desire to be your mate.”
-
The next time Leona comes to drop off your exchange of goods, he enters without announcing himself and accidentally gets an eyeful of you and Malleus making out on your couch.
“Leona! Knock much?!”
“Hello, Kingscholar.”
“Draconia.”
You shift your eyes between the two of them. It’s not exactly tense, but there seems to be no love lost between them.
Leona turns back to you. “So, you’re shacking up with him now?” His face scrunches up. “Do I need to prepare myself for little hybrid brats running around here sometime soon?”
“Says you, Mister I-forgot-to-mention-I’m-a-werewolf.”
Leona snickers. “I didn’t forget, I just didn’t feel like telling you. Humans can be annoying about those kinds of things.” He glances back to Malleus at your side. “Guess I didn’t have to worry about that, huh?”
“They are more kind than most humans, to be sure.”
“Right, and you’re not just saying that because you’ve been scr-”
“Leona!” you cut him off. “Thank you for bringing the meat. Your veggies and herbs are on the counter in the brown bag.”
He grabs his things and heads out the door, pausing to drop one last cheeky comment: “I guess if I hear you screaming, I shouldn’t worry this time. Maybe just for your legs.”
Malleus chuckles. “I will be gentle.”
“Hey, don’t enable him!”
-
A/N: Inspired by Hozier’s “It Will Come Back” !!!
don’t let me in with no intention to keep me / jesus christ, don’t be kind to me / honey, don’t feed me, it will come back ~
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illyrianbitch · 1 month
Text
One Summer — Part Seven
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Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: One beach house. One festival. One summer to fall in love.
Warnings: reader is being chronic overthinker, some vulnerability & deep talks about anxiety, fluff!
Word Count: 4.5k
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✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
The day had dawned with a heavy weariness.
You’d all slept in late, dragging yourselves out of bed only as the sun climbed high. The last day of Summit had truly taken everything from you, leaving you sore, hungover, and sad that it was over.  Now, sprawled by the pool of the house, the world outside felt like a distant blur.
Feyre and the boys had been in the pool for a few hours now. You and Mor remained on the lounge chairs, too hungover and sore to join in, opting to gossip with each other and go over moments you’d missed at Summit. But she’d slipped away a few minutes ago to fetch more drinks, leaving you alone with your swirling thoughts. 
Despite your exhaustion, your mind seemed relentless, turning over thoughts that had been too quiet before. You barely noticed Feyre emerging from the pool and settling on the chair beside you, her navy blue towel with star prints spreading beneath her. The weight of her gaze on you made you shift slightly. You offered her a halfhearted smile before your attention drifted back to the pool. 
“You okay?” she asked.
”Yeah,” you said. “Just tired.”
From the corner of your eye, Feyre tilted her head, narrowing her eyes on your figure. “Really?”
You turned to look at her then, swinging your legs to the side of your chair to face her properly. “Yeah.”
”You know you can talk to me, right?”
You loved Feyre. She was easy to talk to, a loyal friend to her core. But Feyre was also a nosy person at heart. She prodded and poked, dug further at things that you often did. Sometimes it led her to grand discoveries. Other times it led her to getting involved in business she didn’t necessarily understand. 
You nodded, giving her a smile. It was genuine, albeit a bit strained, but Feyre seemed to see right through it. “I know,” you said. 
”So talk to me. What’s been up with you?”
You blinked. “What? Nothing.”
”Okay, fine,” She let out a small huff. “I was waiting until you brought it up. But since you haven’t, consider this me bringing it up. What’s going on?”
Feyre meant well— she always did— but she was never one to let go of things easily. It was a losing game to continue this with her, to repeatedly deny that something was going on in your mind that warranted such cautious, caring intervention. 
“It’s complicated.” 
Complicated felt like an understatement.  Your gaze traveled to Azriel for a split second, watching as he emerged from the pool, shaking his wet hair as he laughed at something Rhys said. 
“Complicated how?” Feyre pressed.
You realized that Feyre was probably the closest you’d get to someone who could understand your situation. She had started dating Rhys pretty soon after her split from Tamlin.  
But what if she didn't get it? Feyre had gone through so much with Tamlin, but their relationship had been significantly different from yours and Eris. They were co-dependent, turned toxic by their devotion towards one another. You and Eris… well, it was fine. Eris wasn’t a bad boyfriend. He did everything right. But he wasn't the one, it never felt right. 
“When you ended things with Tamlin, did you ever feel like…like maybe you were moving on too quickly?”
Feyres brows knitted together and, for a moment, you wondered if you’d said too much. 
“I did, yeah. But I realized it wasn’t about timing, really. Just about what felt right, what made me happy.”
You nodded, letting her words settle into your mind. You wanted them to sink into your anxious gut, to wash away the twists that had formed since yesterday. You resisted the urge to take another look at Az, to let your gaze linger on his lips. How many almost-kisses could you have with someone before they needed to be addressed?
”Why do you ask?” Feyre’s voice was low, soft, but there was an edge to it that told you she’d keep asking until she got an answer that satisfied her. 
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words remained lodged in your chest for a moment. Finally, you managed a breath. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to move forward without feeling like I'm leaving things behind too soon.”
Your words extended to thoughts far beyond Azriel too— extended to the worries about your future plans and what you wanted in life. 
Feyre tilted her head, studying you. She pulled her wet hair around her shoulders. “Are you worried about what people will think?” 
Not just people—- them. Azriel. The truth was, it wasn’t only about moving on too quickly, though that certainly was an issue. You felt guilty about moving on at all, like you’d already had your chance and wasted it. Wasted not only their time, but Eris’s as well. Maybe you didn’t deserve this time with them. You were intruding on something you should have forfeited the moment you made the wrong choice. And by the end of this summer, you might be choosing something over them again. 
“Maybe.” You paused. “I just don’t want to hurt anyone. Or feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
Feyre’s expression softened. You felt a pang of envy at how easily she seemed to brush off the guilt she’d felt. But you supposed thats what anger tended to do. Feyre had mended her guilt with the anger she felt towards Tamlin. You knew she was still working through that now, finding a balance between wanting him to be happy and loathing him for the way he made her feel. But she never wanted to talk about it, so you never asked.
“You’re not.” Feyre said. “You have to follow what feels right for you. Moving forward doesn’t always mean you're forgetting the past, it just means you're choosing what’s best for you now.”
You wondered then, how did one know what was best for them? How could you differentiate the feeling of fate and intuition from anxiety and guilt? You were barely an adult. You didn’t know what was best for you. But somehow all of them, your friends, seemed to have things figured out just enough. They knew what they wanted to do, where they wanted to end up. You should’ve just agreed to the plan and wiped it from your mind— let them guide you until you could decide for yourself. You couldn’t though. It didn’t feel right. 
Nothing had felt right for a while. 
“Yeah,” you responded, but your voice felt small, quiet like a whisper. You cleared your throat, giving her a smile. “Thanks, Fey.”
She offered a gentle smile in return, her eyes searching yours for any sign of what you were holding back. Before she could open her mouth to speak more, her eyes focused on something beyond you. 
“I’m back,” Mor sang, her voice light and melodic. She gave you a smile as she sat in front of you, occupying the space next to Feyre. 
“Did I miss anything?” She handed you a cup before  turning to look at Feyre.
Feyre had yet to pull her gaze away from you. You met her blue eyes with a sense of pleading. You hoped, deep down, that she understood what you were asking wordlessly, that she would keep what you’d asked to herself— not pry, not dig deeper or ask someone else to. Feyre bliniked and then she nodded, turning to Mor with a smile. 
“Nope,” she replied. “Nothing at all.”
You let out a small, relieved sigh and smiled, turning your gaze back to the pool. Almost immediately, you caught Azriel’s eyes fixed on you from the water. He smiled, and the knots in your stomach twisted even further. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
You’d just finished brushing your teeth when your phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. Glancing down, you saw the notification light up the screen.
AzrielJoin me for a walk on the beach?
The corners of your lips twitched upwards. Another text quickly followed.
Your big muscles will scare away any nighttime threats.
It didn’t seem fair to spend as much time with Azriel when your mind was all over the place. You didn’t want to waste his time, to take him away from the rest of the group. But it was nearing midnight and you were sure the rest of the house had settled into their beds, so it wasn’t stolen time necessarily. You glanced down at your phone again, at the unopened text. Something inside you rattled, something restless that craved a moment with Az. 
You quickly pulled on a hoodie and walked downstairs.
Azriel’s face softened as you rounded the corner to the kitchen. He placed his phone in his pocket, pushing himself off of where he had leaned against the counter.
“Y/n.”
You smiled — a smile entirely too nervous to be casual— and gave him a sloppy salute. “Bodyguard reporting for duty.”
Azriel let out a small breathy laugh. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to join me.”
“And leave you defenseless?” You tsked. “I‘d never hear the end of it if something happened to you.” 
Azriel smiled, all teeth and warmth and joy. You reveled in the sight of his smile lines, in that dimple and the small, faint freckle that disappeared into it. He motioned towards the backdoor. 
“Ready?” 
You nodded, watching as he pulled a hoodie on. You tried your best not to stare at the exposed skin that showed when he lifted his arms—- truly, you did. But your eyes lingered for a moment anyway and a small blush rose to your cheeks. You’d seen Az shirtless countless times, he was practically shirtless all of today. But these intimate moments, ones where he wasn’t intending to show skin, made you flustered like a twelve year old boy searching for boobs on google. 
“Why the text? Why didn’t you just come up and grab me?”
Azriel shrugged, stepping to the side to give you space. He closed the door behind you. “I wasn’t sure if you were asleep and I didn’t want you to feel pressured to say yes. Texting you gave you the option to just… not reply and say you never saw it.”
He met your eyes and something inside you melted further than it had before, like a popsicle during midday. There was no doubt in your mind that Az didn’t think twice about his decision to text you, that he didn't realize how significant and meaningful the action really was. Even in its simplicity, it was so unbelievably caring. Words evaded you, so you gave him another smile and followed him down the path to the beach, slipping off your sandals the minute your feet met the sand. 
The beach was always quiet at night, peaceful in a way that made you feel lighter. Only a few minutes had passed since you and Azriel left the house, and now you sat side by side, sounds of the gentle lapping of waves and the occasional distant call of a seabird filling your ears. 
“Hey, uh, was everything okay earlier?”
You frowned, turning to look at Azriel as he spoke. His expression was soft, a sense of concern painted across his moonlit features.
“What do you mean?”
Az gave a half shrug. “I noticed you talking with Feyre earlier, when we were all swimming in the pool. Seemed like more than just casual conversation.”
You weren’t quite sure how to respond, whether to focus on how true his words were or the simple fact that he’d noticed. A joke slowly formed at the tip of your tongue, your eyes brightening as you opened your mouth to speak.
Azriel made a face. “Do not make some spy joke right now.”
You laughed softly and Azriel’s lips curved into a subtle smile, a knowing one. 
“Fine,” you said, jokingly exasperated. You scanned his face, taking in the way he sat on the sand, how the faint, cool, night breeze ruffled the loose curls on his head.  “You always seem to do that, y’know.”
Azriel blinked, his head cocking slightly. A small crease appeared between his furrowed brows. He was thinking— observing something that he would no doubt store for later. 
“Hmm?” 
You brought your knees to your chest, taking a moment to look out onto the dark expanse of the ocean. A wave rolled into the sand before you, foamy and glistening with reflected moonlight. You placed your arms across your knees and turned your head to look at him again.
“Read me so well,” You said. “I think with anyone else, it would drive me crazy…but not with you. It feels comforting. Like someone who knows what I’m really thinking.” 
“Not always,” Azriel said. His voice was soft, skittering across the sounds of the waves washing on shore. You watched him trace idle patterns into the sand with his fingers before he gave you a sidelong glance. “Sometimes I’m just as clueless as anyone else.”
A silence settled between you both. You traced the motions of the ocean with your eyes, following the waves that rolled onto the sand before you— they were getting closer, each one inching to where you dug your toes into the sand. But neither you or Az seemed to mind.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Az’s voice pulled you from the trace of the sea. He was already looking at you by the time you met his eyes again. There was a look in them that made your heart skip—a softness, a warmth that was almost disarming. 
You bit the inside of your cheek and then offered your hand to him, outstretched and palm up. Azriel knitted his brows, his gaze falling down to your hand. He frowned.
“Where's the penny?” You asked with a raised brow, suppressing the twitch at the corners of your lips.
Azriel’s eyes widened and a laugh left his lips, one of disbelief and amusement. It pulled a smile from him, too, and then he was sitting up straight. “Well that's not fair. I didn’t bring my wallet.”
You pursed your lips, pulling your hand back into your chest with a playful shrug. “Too bad.”
He scanned the sand around him, hands digging and shifting through the grains with focused intent. After a moment, he made a triumphant noise and looked back at you with an expectant face.
You frowned, but Az only nodded towards the hand you had pulled back into your chest. You caught his drift, placing it out once more, and he smiled— a tight, lopsided mischievous one— as he placed something in your hand. You laughed softly, the sound blending with the gentle crash of the waves as you observed the object. The seashell now in your palm was small, textured and ridged with a faint blue tint that shimmered under the moonlight. You met Az’s eyes.
“Do you ever feel like you just keep making the wrong decisions?” You toyed with the seashell in your hands, fingers running over its rough surface. “And now you don’t trust any decision you make?” 
Azriel’s expression softened. “All the time.”
“How do you deal with it?”
His gaze turned to the horizon, eyes scanning the endless expanse as if searching for his words among the open water. After a moment, he turned back to you, a small, almost sad smile on his face. “I’m not the right person to ask that.”
You nodded in understanding. In a strange way, it felt comforting to know Az wasn’t as prepared as everyone else, that his mind seemed to wander and drift the same way yours often did. You thought for a moment how comforting it might be to float with Az, to be lost with him in an open, blue sea. 
Azriel seemed to call your thoughts back even when they evaded you, yourself. 
You adjusted your position, turning to face him more directly. Sitting cross-legged, you held the seashell in your hands, now warm from your touch. “Graduation is coming up and everything seems to be shifting so fast, Az. I’m so desperate to find my footing that I think I'm just acting rashly or out of fear.”
Azriel turned to face you, shifting his position just as you had. There was something so soft about him now. You weren’t sure if it was the glow of the moon, the comfort of the sea, or the way your heart leaped whenever he laughed. But as he sat across from you, you wanted nothing more than to spill your entire mind to him, to reach forward and touch him, to wrap that curl that often fell on his forehead around your finger and tuck it back into place. 
“Maybe what you need is to find some balance,” He said. “Or, should I say a golden mean?”
There was a playful grin on his lips as he spoke. It made you smile a bit wider, though you were still confused at the tone of his voice, at the words he’d just spoken. 
“Really?” You raised a brow, your smile breaking wide open as Az’s eyes glimmered in wake of your realization. “You’re referencing Aristotle?”
Az only shrugged in response, the playful grin still on his lips. 
“And I’m the pretentious philosophy major.”
Azriel laughed and the sound resonated warmly within you, filtering through your lungs like oxygen.  
“I had to,” he said as he searched your face. His grin fell into something sweeter, something nostalgic and soft. “You gave a whole presentation on it in freshman year. About how disharmony produces difficulties, that we should strive for a desirable middle.”
A rush of emotion swept through you, settling at the very core of your being. And something blossomed in its path, something tight and giddy, electric and alive. 
“I-” You hesitated, blinking as you took in the person before you again, through a lens of even deeper admiration. “You remember that?”
Those were your exact words, too.
“Of course.” Azriel said, as if the question itself was silly to even ask. He looked back at the waves, his expression thoughtful, voice falling to a hushed tone. “I remember a lot of things from freshman year.”
Freshman year felt like a lifetime ago. You took another moment to admire Az, to trace the side of his face, the small bump on his nose, the dagger earring that hung from his ear. The Azriel before you was different in many ways— but not in the ways that mattered, you realized. Those things hadn’t changed at all. 
You weren’t sure if the same thing applied to you. You’d changed a lot since freshman year. Your mind sorted through those memories now, to Mor and Feyre, to your dorm and the roommate that you didn’t talk to anymore— the occasional instagram comment and birthday message didn’t count. One memory, however, kept resurfacing: that halloween night, that party, that stolen moment in the upstairs bedroom. What were the chances he was thinking of it too? 
“What else do you remember about freshman year?”
You waited with baited breath. This was his chance to back out, to let the conversation drift away if he wasn’t ready to revisit those memories. If he didn’t bring it up, neither would you. You’d bury it away for his comfort, let the memory sit and collect dust, only revisit it when you were alone.  
After what felt like an eternity, a small, almost wistful smile touched Azriel’s lips. He turned to you.
“I remember Halloween.”
You took a sharp inhale. “You do?”
Az nodded and that one curl bounced on his forehead as if on cue. “I do,” he said. 
“Anything specific?”
Please, you thought. Prove to me that you’ve thought about it, too. 
“We almost kissed that night.”
Gripping the seashell tighter, you took a deep breath and nodded. It was silly that a nod was all you could manage, all you could respond with as your chest constricted. A nod like he had just listed something from his grocery list rather than a memory that had shaped your feelings, a memory that lingered in your mind for years.
“Almost,” you pulled yourself to say. 
 “Almost,” he repeated quietly.
“Why didnt you?” You chewed at your bottom lip. “Why didn’t you kiss me that night?”
“What do you mean?” Azriel’s brow furrowed. “Cass walked in on us.”
You shook your head. You’d replayed the night in your head so often, had practically lived in it the months following— hadn’t been able to stop the repeat of it until you’d developed feelings for Eris. 
“No,” you said. “You hesitated before Cass even walked in.”
Azriel stilled, blinking slowly as he took a deep breath, his gaze drifting to the waves. 
“You looked so beautiful that night.” His voice was tender, his eyes locking back onto yours with sincerity. “I mean, you always do, Y/n. Always. But god, I was tripping over myself the entire night, trying to hype myself up. I wanted to kiss you so bad.”
A smile spread across your face as a nervous flutter bounced in your chest. “Then what happened?”
Azriel’s smile faltered and he swallowed hard. His gaze fell to his lap where he fidgeted with his hands. Your heart sank.
“It was so stupid.” He shook his head, his voice tinged with frustration. “So stupid. But some guy—some loser from Rhysand's frat—pulled me aside, told me my costume was great, that the scars on my hands were so ‘gnarly and gross’ they almost looked real.”
His eyes flicked back up to meet yours. The hurt in his expression was so evident that your heart ached at it. But it wasn’t just hurt Azriel bore, it was embarrassment.
 “Az…” 
He shook his head. “It was so dumb.” 
“Stop—” 
“So fucking dumb. But it got to me. And then I was with you, in that room, and when I saw my hand on your cheek... it felt wrong. I felt wrong. Then Cassian came in, drunk off his ass and sat between us. I thought it was some sign. I got so in my head that I could barely pull myself out for the rest of the semester. By the time I could face it, face you, you'd—”
You nodded, a pang of guilt settling in as you pulled your lips together. Eris had asked you out a month a half after, when that strange distance between you and Az had settled. 
“I know.” You ran your fingers over the seashell again. “I’m sorry, Az.”
“What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”
“That someone made you feel less than what you are.” You paused to take in his expression, to stare into his eyes, bask in the warmth they offered.  “And for Eris, too. I missed out on a lot of our friendship. I’m sorry for that.” 
Azriel’s expression softened as shook his head, a gentle smile forming on his lips. 
“That’s not true.” His smile widened slightly. “Even if it was, at least we’re making up for lost time now, right? Strong friendship.”
You laughed softly, but the feeling didn’t spread throughout your body. Friendship. 
Maybe too much time had passed for you and Az to be anything more than friends. The thought made you nauseous, sent a chill throughout your body.  Az’s eyes narrowed in on you as you shivered. 
“You’re cold,” he said. “We should probably head in; it’s getting pretty late anyways.”
You opened your mouth to protest but thought better of it. “Yeah, probably.”
You forced a small smile as you stood, shoving the seashell into your pocket. You avoided looking directly at Azriel. There was a pang in your chest that made it hard to breathe, disappointment mingled with an uneasy acceptance. Maybe this is what the shape of closure felt like, you thought, something akin to growth, perhaps. Uncomfortable but needed. 
With a final sigh, you turned to head inside, making slow, deliberate steps up the beach, the sand cool beneath your feet. Faintly, you became more aware of your surroundings, of the fact that the sound of the waves crashing seemed to carry a faint, hesitant call of your name. 
You paused and turned back toward the ocean. Azriel was jogging to catch up, his silhouette outlined by the moonlight. His breathing was labored as he stopped before you, eyes glimmering with something bright and searching. 
“I should’ve kissed you that night,” Az said. “And every night after.” 
He reached up and gently brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek. “I regret not telling you how I felt. It was torture watching you be with someone else, Y/n.”
You wanted to respond, but nothing seemed right—no words felt enough. You took a breath and let your shoes fall from your grip, resting a hand over his on your cheek. You reveled in the sensation of his touch, feeling the warmth of his skin and the subtle ridges of his fingers, the touch that was uniquely his. And gently, you lowered his hand, holding it with both of yours, fingers intertwining with his. A flicker of confusion passed through his face, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly.
With another breath, you closed the distance between you. 
Your lips met his with a tentative softness— a tentative brush of warmth that sent your stomach into a whirlwind of sensation. His lips were warm and inviting, moving against yours slowly, carefully, and the act of him kissing you back washed away any worry, any stress and guilt you’d felt recently. 
You drew back for a moment, breathing heavily as your eyes fluttered open. Azriel’s gaze was heavy, molten, and his lips remained parted as he took you in. Then, they curved upwards, and Az let out a breath, eyes brightening.  His smile was the last thing you saw before his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. 
Your hands found their way to the back of his neck as his mouth returned to yours, more insistent this time. This kiss was deeper, a hunger etched in every movement— a need to make up for lost time. His mouth slotted over yours, fitting perfectly in a way that felt inevitable, like you were always meant to end up here, in his arms. 
Your heart pounded in your chest, the sound of it echoing in your ears as you let yourself sink deeper into the kiss. You were sure he could feel it against him, perhaps even hear it, too. A gentle scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip made your knees weak and you wondered, for a moment, if this was what ecstasy felt like. You realized a second later that this was what right felt like. Nothing had felt right because it hadn’t been Azriel. 
When you both pulled apart, chests heaving, eyes glazed and mouths puffy, Az ran his thumb along your bottom lip. A beautiful smile graced his lips.
“I would’ve waited four more years for that,” he whispered, and then he kissed you again.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
author's note: two overthinkers who just get each other... i love them your honor. i want to sit on a beach and have someone give me a seashell :( now im excited bc theyre abt to be sooo damn cute with each other oml
also... check out the one summer graphic gallery for some hot drawings of the summer!boys and co. <3 literally foaming at the mouth theyre so attractive
as always, thank you for reading 🫶🏻 all of yalls comments n notes make me so happy.
permanent tag list 🫶🏻: 
@rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon 
@glam-targaryen @cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg
@evergreenlark @marina468 @azriels-human @panther-girl-124 @bubybubsters 
@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @feyretopia  @ninthcircleofprythian @velariscalling @azrielrot
@justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli @mrsjna @anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound @melissat1254
@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend @raginghellfire
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months
Text
i'm stayin'
for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'who did this to you?' wc: 869 rated: m cw: off-screen violence, mentioned childhood abuse (not in detail) tags: steve harrington has bad parents, established relationship, secret relationship, pre-season 4, hurt/comfort, asthmatic steve because i've made him go through everything else why not this too
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Steve's vision was blurry, his hands shaking as he tried to put his car in park in front of the trailer.
His backpack, no longer full of what he needed for school, sat in the passenger seat, half-zipped and telling the ugly truth of what he wasn't sure he could process right now: his parents had kicked him out with only the possessions he could shove into his bag.
Steve winced as he reached for his inhaler, a last second grab when his dad had decided he'd given him plenty of time to pack only three minutes into his rushed efforts.
He didn't need it at this moment, had managed to calm down on the drive to Eddie's, but knew it was only a matter of time before the anxiety would set in again. Hopefully, he'd have Eddie next to him when it did.
Wayne's truck wasn't in the yard, probably working another night shift. Eddie's new-to-him van was parked crooked by the front porch, like he'd been in a rush to get inside when he got home earlier.
Steve immediately stepped out of his car into mud.
Right. It rained earlier.
No lights were on in the trailer, but Wayne had given him a key only a few weeks before, saying something about how he should always have a place to go if he needed it.
Almost like he had a feeling about what was to come.
Steve opened the door, surprised to find Eddie passed out on the couch, blanket pulled up to his nose and the space heater turned off.
If his eye didn't hurt so bad, he'd roll them both. No matter how many times he told Eddie to just turn it on before he sat down so he would be warm, it didn't seem to sink in.
He turned it on, cursing quietly when it made a loud popping noise.
"Wayne?" Eddie asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up as he tried to wake up. "Work?"
"Not Wayne, Eds. Go back to sleep." The last thing Steve needed right now was Eddie freaking out about what he was sure was ugly proof of his father taking out his prejudices on him. "I'm gonna be in your room."
"Steve?" He sounded much more awake now, and Steve couldn't resist turning fully to look at him. "Holy shit. Who did this to you?"
Steve grimaced. He knew they couldn't ignore it, he was just hoping to patch himself up a bit before morning when Eddie would start asking questions.
"Um."
And then the damn tears started falling before Steve could give any explanation, and Eddie's arms wrapped around him carefully, like he was terrified to hurt him more. Eddie was always so careful with him, like he knew there were plenty of invisible bruises already.
He cried for so long, his entire body felt numb, and he could vaguely register that he was shivering. Eddie's hands were rubbing his back slowly, comforting him the best he could.
Eventually, Steve's tears stopped, his breathing slowed back to normal, and his chest didn't feel as heavy.
"Is that your inhaler or are you just happy to see me?" Eddie teased gently, leaving room for Steve to ignore him if he wasn't in the mood for jokes.
Steve snorted. "It's my inhaler. But I am happy to see you. Always."
Eddie's lips brushed the top of his head, so faint, Steve almost thought he imagined it.
"You wanna talk about it?" The caution in Eddie's voice was enough for Steve to pull his head away from his shoulder, flinching when he felt the pull of his split lip.
"Not now. Kinda tired." Understatement of the century. Steve felt like he could sleep for hours. "Can I sleep here?"
"Stevie, you can stay as long as you want, you know that."
Steve knew Eddie knew, and Eddie knew Steve wasn't gonna come outright and say it until he'd had time to come down from it all.
"Can we sleep in your bed?" Steve asked, resting his head back on Eddie's shoulder.
Eddie wordlessly led him down the short hallway to his bedroom, helped him get into comfier clothes, and used a washcloth to wipe any of the blood he'd missed at the gas station earlier.
They got in bed, Steve curling against Eddie's side like he'd done so many times before.
This felt different though. This felt like an end of something, a beginning of something else.
*-*-*-*-*-*
When Wayne saw him the next morning, he gave him a sad smile, a hug, and handed him a cup of coffee.
"You stayin'?" he asked, like it was simple.
Like Steve could stay.
"I-"
"I have two rules. One, you go to school. Two, you tell me if you're gonna be out too late, especially on a school night. You follow those, you stay. Sound good?" Wayne raised a brow.
If Steve hadn't spent the last six months at the Munson's trailer more than his own home, maybe he'd be intimidated.
As it stood, all he could do was give a small smile and grab a frozen bag of mixed veggies from the freezer to put on his swollen eye.
"I'm stayin'."
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unsolved-duvall · 2 years
Text
𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)
eddie munson x fem!reader
summary you and eddie broke up because you were too scared to love him. so when you need someone and he's the only person you want to run to, what are you supposed to do? (4.8k)
warnings talk of a bad home situation, mentions of abuse, references to mental health, anxiety, crying, very subtle mention of a panic attack, angst i suppose?, fluff, smut, kissing, unprotected sex (don't do this!), lots of feelings. i have probably missed something i'm so sorry <3
The downpour of rain beat down against the windows of your car and was almost loud enough to drown out the myriad of thoughts that were swirling around your mind. 
You didn’t know why you were here. 
That was a lie, you knew exactly why you were there. It was because this was the only place you could think to go. And Eddie was the only person you felt safe with. Never mind the fact that you had broken up last month. You had been the one to break up with him. 
But tonight every emotion you were feeling felt too overwhelming. The sadness and anxiety that you could normally let go of seemed to consume your every thought, washing over you like a wave until they drowned you. Of course, it didn’t help that the only sounds around to drown out your thoughts were those of a not-so-calming nature. 
Your mom and her boyfriend had been fighting constantly. Screaming, shouting and harsh words became a sort of white noise in your household. You would listen with your door cracked open in case you needed to call for help. You felt an innate need to protect her, even from herself. 
The fighting was so common that it rarely bothered you anymore, but tonight everything had gotten to be too much. It was non-stop, pushing you to the edge and causing you to get in your car and drive over here without thinking twice about it. 
And now you were sitting in your car, fiddling with the necklace that hung delicately around your neck, before slipping it back underneath your jumper, letting the ring that hung from it hit your cold skin. And tried to figure out what the fuck you were thinking? What made you think he would even want to see you? You had broken his heart, he had told you that. And those words played on repeat in your head every day, like your own personal form of torture. 
Eddie knew you didn’t have a great home life. It was why you practically lived with him and Wayne when you were still together. You had your own drawer full of clothes and your belongings were always dotted through the trailer. A book you were reading thrown on the sofa, your blanket folded over the back of a chair, or your toiletries in the bathroom next to Eddie’s. 
You never spoke about the reason you were there so often. You didn’t need to. Eddie knew all too well what it felt like to live in that sort of environment, so you never needed to explain anything to him. When you would turn up at his door at midnight, tears streaming down your face and shaking hands clenched by your sides, he didn’t need you to tell him anything else. He pulled you into him and rested his head against yours and asked what you needed him to do. 
You just needed to be with him. 
So that became a sort of routine between the two of you. Eddie would wait for you each night, and when you would ultimately turn up in the early hours of the morning, almost no words would be exchanged between the two of you. Instead, you would walk to his bedroom and fall asleep next to him. He understood. He knew you were tired and didn’t feel safe falling asleep in your own home sometimes. 
If simply letting you fall asleep curled up next to him was all you needed, he would do it until the end of time. 
Until you let the guilt overwhelm you. Eddie deserved better, he didn’t deserve to be in a relationship where he felt like he had to protect you all the time. You could look after yourself, take care of yourself, you had done it for years until you met Eddie. But there was this nagging thought in the back of your mind that you were relying on Eddie too much, and would eventually hurt him in one way or another. The break-up was quick, you barely let him get a word in before you left him standing alone in his bedroom. Confused and heartbroken. 
You left so quickly because you didn’t trust yourself not to change your mind if you looked at him any longer. 
Which is exactly why you shouldn’t be knocking on his door right now. It was exactly why you should turn around and go home, instead of being in the one place you shouldn’t be. It was- 
“Oh- hey,” Eddie stood in front of you, his hair falling in loose curls around his shoulders. He looked tired, unsurprising considering it was almost midnight, but still, it was an unnerving sight. His usual honey-thick smile was nowhere to be seen. 
There was uncertainty flickering in his doe eyes. But he didn’t tear his gaze away from you for even a second. 
“Hey um- fuck, okay I’m sorry I should-” your voice trembled as you fought to get the words out. The truth was you weren’t entirely sure what you should even say to him. 
Do you apologise? Do you tell him what’s going on at home? Do you tell him that you feel like you haven't been able to breathe since you broke up? 
You hadn’t realised how long it had been since you’d said anything, but you see Eddie raise his eyebrows, almost hidden behind his hair, and you stumble on your own feet, taking in a shaky breath and opening your mouth to say…something. 
But nothing came out. So instead, Eddie said, “Look, why don’t you- shit, at least come inside, it’s too fucking cold to be standing out here.” 
You nodded your head and he moved to the side to let you step into the warmth. You felt something heavy settle over your chest, being back here it was… it felt like home. The soft orange hue of the lamps lit up the rooms. The aroma of home-cooked food hit you and you remembered how many times Wayne would make sure there was a spare plate of food set aside for you, in case you turned up. 
The TV was playing quietly with the soft murmurs of the dialogue, from the film he had clearly been watching, echoed through the trailer. You were pulled out of your thoughts by Eddie calling you over to the couch where he had already sat down again. 
You considered telling him you had made a mistake, but your feet carried you over to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. You sat down on the other end of the couch, pulling your legs up and sitting with them crossed in front of you. Eddie watched your every move, taking in all of your little mannerisms he had missed so much. 
“Are you…are you okay? I mean you used to come here if it got- you know if it got bad.” Eddie asked you, his eyes fixed back onto the TV the minute he started speaking to you again; almost as if he was afraid of what he would say if he kept looking at you. 
“Yeah, they uh- I don’t fuckin’ know why they do this shit to themselves. They fight all the time, they’ve gotta be miserable.” you tried to sound as casual as you could, but even you could hear the distress your voice carried. 
Eddie heard it too and it made his whole body tense up. He still wanted to fix everything for you. He still wanted to pull you into him and tell you everything would be okay. 
“Yeah I know sweet-” he cut himself off before he could finish the word, but it made you feel close to tears nonetheless. Even after what had happened, he still immediately wanted to call you that. Fuck. 
Eddie cleared his throat before he carried on speaking, clearly thinking over his choice of words. “I know but- you know they’re fully grown adults, you can’t…you have to let them sort their own shit out.” 
“That’s my mom, Eddie-” 
“I know, shit I know.” You swear you could almost see the way his eyes glazed over as his memories came flooding back to him. You didn’t know everything about his past, but he had told you enough. 
“I just worry about her. He’s not a good guy, you know? But I couldn’t stay there tonight, and I know that makes me the worst fucking daughter but-” 
“Hey, no. Don’t say shit like that.” his voice was harsher than it had been before, with a kind of authority to it that sent shivers running down your spine. 
He still cared about you. Of course, he did. -
“You are not responsible for protecting your parents, that is their job. You are not a bad daughter, you’re a- shit, we’re still kids. We shouldn’t have to deal with all of that, it’s not fair.” you knew he was talking more about himself now, and that made it hurt even more. You being here, the reason you were here, brought up a lot of trauma for Eddie. But he would never outright admit that.
You turned to face Eddie, moving closer to him so your knees scraped his, and leaned against the back of the couch, resting your head on your hand. “Yeah, you’re right.” Eddie fiddled with one of his rings as he listened to you speak. You had to resist the urge to lean over and hold his hand in yours. “It’s not fair. But there’s nothing we can do, so…” 
“So…here you are.” 
“Here I am.” 
There was a beat of silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just…quiet, and relaxing. There was something unspoken exchanged between both of you. Some mutual understanding that right now wasn’t the time to talk about everything. Even though Eddie had a million questions for you, for now, he was happy enough to have you sit next to him again. Like you had done a million times before. 
You leant back again, sinking into the couch cushion beneath you and let your eyes drift back to the TV. Eddie copied you, relaxing into the couch and resting his head against the back of it as you both sat in silence. 
After ten minutes or so you couldn’t help but steal glances at Eddie every now and then. The light from the TV lit up his face, and from this close to him you could see the light freckles that dotted across his nose and underneath his eyes. His eyes were almost honey-brown in the orange hue of the room, and you could tell he had only washed his hair a few hours ago. His curls had a soft frizz to them and you missed how they felt between your fingers. 
Your gaze moved down to where his hands were resting. You didn’t realise how much you could miss someone's touch. He always used to have one of his hands on you. Whether he was holding your hand, resting it on your leg or letting it run up and down your back as you lay next to him. 
Soon enough the film ended and Eddie stood up to sort it out; you watched him and for a second you were sure he was going to ask you to leave. 
But then he stood up from where he had been kneeling down next to the TV and sighed before saying, “Come on.” 
“What- what are we doing?” you moved to sit up on the couch but didn’t stand up just yet. 
Eddie looked around the room for a second as if he was gathering his thoughts before he lifted and dropped his shoulders in contemplation and said, “What we used to do. I’m not letting you go home tonight.” 
You hesitated for a moment, “Well I can sleep on- on the couch.” 
“If that’s what you want to do then that’s okay. But you don’t have to, you can sleep in my room. No expectations, nothing. I promise.” A subtle rosy flush coloured his cheeks whilst he spoke, and you bit back a smile at how even the mention of it had him nervous. 
“No, yeah of course, um well thank- thank you.” You stood up and followed Eddie as he made his way to his room, turning off the lights as he went. 
Before you had time to ask Eddie for clothes to sleep in he was handing you one of his t-shirts and a pair of your pyjama shorts you must have left there. “You can get changed in here, I’ll go to the bathroom.” 
“Okay, thank you Eddie.” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. With Eddie out of the room, you took a second to gather yourself. You felt your heart start to race and your hands shake, a tell-tale sign that you were getting overwhelmed. Only this time you knew it would all be okay because Eddie would be back soon. 
You changed into the clothes he had given you and you sat on top of his bed waiting for him to come back. Even though you knew you would be sleeping in his bed tonight it still felt somewhat presumptuous of you to get under the comforter already. 
You heard movement from outside his room and sure enough, Eddie walked back through his bedroom door a moment later. He had a pair of boxers on and the same t-shirt he was wearing earlier. 
You knew he always sleeps in just his boxers, but you also appreciated he probably left his t-shirt on out of respect. 
The truth was you wouldn’t have minded if he didn’t leave it on. Feeling his skin pressed against yours used to ground you when nothing else could. But you supposed things couldn’t be the same anymore. Of course, they couldn’t. 
Eddie’s eyes dipped down to your neckline, you weren’t sure what had caught his attention at first, “You still wear it?” 
What- 
Oh. 
The necklace. With his ring on it. He gave it to you after he had developed a habit of slipping his rings onto yours fingers whenever he got the chance. He gave you the necklace and his favourtie ring because then there would “always be a part of him with you.” Which was exactly why you still wore it. 
“Oh um- yeah, I do. I’m sorry if that’s strange or…” 
“No. No, it’s not weird.” you saw a pained expression paint his face before he smiled and turned around, facing away from you. 
“Are you gonna get into bed or?” You could hear his signature smirk even if you couldn’t see him, his back was turned to you as he finished taking his rings off. 
“Oh- yeah, okay. ‘M sorry-“
“You need to stop saying sorry, just act normal. This can be normal, right?” Eddie walked over to his bed and threw himself down under the covers, he was all long limbs and curly hair and for a second you didn’t know why the hell you had ever left him. 
You weren’t sure what you were supposed to say in response. It felt like he was giving you a chance to explain yourself. To tell him what was going on in your head. 
“Yeah this can be normal” was you all could say. Because you did want this to be normal, but you needed to know what Eddie was thinking, so as you lay down next to him and stared up at the ceiling you said, “Do you hate me?” 
“Do I- shit, why would I hate you?” you weren’t sure if the disbelief in his voice made you feel better or worse. 
“I was an asshole.”
“You broke up with me, that doesn’t make you an asshole, that makes you a person who has her own thoughts and feelings. And makes her own decisions” Eddie’s voice didn’t carry much emotion. It was flat and monotone, and you had never heard him sound like that before. 
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be… I don’t know- annoyed with me for how I did it.” 
“What? You came over, you told me you didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and you left. What else were you meant to do? A break up’s a break-up.” you couldn’t see his face, both of your expressions shrouded in the darkness of the room. 
“I shouldn’t have… I should have explained myself to you, but I was… I wasn’t doing good, you know? And I guess-” 
“You fell out of love with me, it’s okay. It happens.” 
His words hit you like a punch to the chest and your breath got caught in his throat as you processed his words. Fallen out of love? No. No, you could never fall out of love with him. You loved him too much. You loved him so much it terrified you. A stillness took over the room, and all you could hear was the ruffling of the sheets as Eddie turned over, muttering a reluctant good night under his breath.
You didn’t want to push any boundaries he was clearly putting up between the two of you. You had hurt him and you knew he was only protecting himself. But it killed you nevertheless. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat and blinked back tears. Turning over to fall asleep, in the same bed you had done so many times, except this time you weren’t curled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. 
A few hours had passed and although you were trying, you couldn’t let yourself drift off to sleep. You lay in complete silence and let your thoughts ruin any chance of you getting a peaceful night. Eddie was asleep, you thought he was anyway. Just as you had decided to get out of bed and walk to the kitchen for a glass of water, you heard movement beside you. 
“Are you okay?” Eddie. His voice was thick with sleep, deeper and rougher than it usually sounded, but a voice you were all too familiar with. 
“Yeah ‘m fine.” 
“What’s wrong?” Eddie had turned onto his back now, waiting for an answer, and when you didn’ reply he simply said, “you only say you’re fine when you’re so far from it that it scares you.” 
“I just can’t sleep, that's all.” you lay back down and hesitated for a moment before whispering, “I never fell out of love with you.” 
You felt Eddie still next to you, and you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears and your cheeks heating up. 
“Oh.” 
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I was so scared that- that we would end up being exactly the same as everyone around us. I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t-”
“You still love me?” you could hear the pain that laced his voice as he breathed out the words. 
“Yes.” 
The words sat heavy between the two of you, the room was still dark, almost pitch black, but a lone streetlamp from outside allowed a slither of orange light to screep through the space between the blinds, allowing you to see Eddie’s face. His eyes cut to yours when he said, “Then why did you do it?” 
If your heart wasn’t already in pieces then Eddie had just made sure of it. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid of the answer. 
“Because what if we turn into our parents.” 
“Oh, sweetheart-” 
You were crying. Silent tears that fell down your face, pooled in the corner of your eyes and stained your cheeks with the reminder that you couldn’t trust yourself to love someone in fear of hurting them. Eddie didn’t cry, but that was because he had cried so much after you had ended things with him that he didn’t have the energy left to cry now; although hearing your breath hitch with every tear that fell threatened to send him over that edge with you. 
“Come here, it’s okay.” Eddie cooed, and you didn’t waste another second not being in his arms. You stretched out your arms to find his already waiting for you, pulling you into his chest and letting your head rest there, where it used to rest every night. 
You let him wrap you in his arms and you let yourself sink into him, throwing a leg over his and nuzzling your face into his chest. He whispered comforting words into the still air and you listened to him, truly believing him when he told you he loved you. 
You told him you loved him too. 
You lay like that and spoke about everything you needed to until you noticed the sun peeking in through the curtains, replacing the soft orange light of the streetlamps that had graced the room throughout the night. Eddie told you that you should both try and get some sleep, you nodded your head with the little energy you had left and let your eyes drift shut. 
You slept knowing you were back where you were always meant to be. 
By the time you woke up the room had gone dark again, and you felt a panic surge through you at just how long you must have been asleep for. Eddie was stil there, holding you. 
“What time is it?” your voice was raspy, the way it always was when you had just woken up. 
“It’s only the afternoon, you’re okay.” Eddie ran his hand over your back and pushed your hair out off your face to look at you. 
“Why is it so dark?” you aksed him, perplexed. 
“The sun got really bright, you know as the sun does,” you laughed at his words, more so you laughed at how he didn’t even realise what he said was funny. “And you started getting restless, I didn’t know if it was bothering you so I put a blanket over the window and drew the blinds again, so it would be darker.” 
He must have pulled you back against him when he got back into bed. “How did you… put a blanket… over the window?” 
“Don’t worry about it.” It scared you how sincere he could sound even when he was joking. “I’m magical what can I say.” 
“Yeah,” you agreed “you really are.” 
Eddie let out a sigh as you moved off of him, laying on your side and staring at him. Eddie mirrored your actions, moving to rest on his side so you were face to face. 
“I’m still so sorry about-” 
“What will it take to get you to stop apologizing to me?” Eddie asked you, faked annoyance in his voice. 
You smiled and your eyes flicked down to his lips. He noticed, the same way he noticed everything. “Can you kiss me?” 
“Yeah” he breathed out before he had his hand resting on your cheek and his soft lips pressing onto yours, your bottom lips between both of his. He kissed you like he had never stoped kissing you. He kissed you like it was the one thing he had been put on this earth to do. And you kissed him back like you had something to prove. But mostly you kissed as if you were kissing the life back into each other. 
The kiss stayed slow and gentle for as long as either of you could hold out for; but suddenly it all became too much and when Eddie’s tongue ran over your bottom lip you let the dam break and allowed it to consume your entire being. 
You kissed like the other could slip away at any moment. Somehow, in between desperate kisses and his tongue running over yours, Eddie had moved to rest above you, his arms caged around either side of your head, holding him up. You let your fingers get tangled in his hair and he let his lips move down to your neck, his head nustled there as he kissed over your most sensitive spot. You already knew your neck would be covered in small reminders of him by the end of this; red and purple love bites marking your neck. 
You let him kiss you and touch you and you were sure you would let him do whatever else he wanted. When his hand slipped under your pjyama shorts and you let him touch you, you knew you would have to let him do whatever he wanted later. Because right now you needed to feel him inside of you. You needed to be as close to him as the laws of the universe would grant you. 
“Eddie, fuck, please I need you to fuck me.” you had never been paticurally graceful with words, not being blessed with a way of words like Eddie was, but right now that didn’t matter because with Eddie’s lips on your neck and his hands roaming your body there wasn’t a chance in the world of you stringing together a coherent sentence, let alone sounding like Shakespeare. 
You felt Eddie‘s lips curl up into a smile against your neck before he pulled away from you, lifing his head to rest his forehead against yours. “You don’t want me to-” 
“No. No, please baby I just need you inside me” you didn’t like to beg but with the way his eyes bore into yours you knew you would beg until the end of time if you had to. Not that Eddie would let you do that. 
“Okay, okay angel. I’ve got you, gonna give you what you need, huh?” Eddie pressed a chaste kiss to your swollen lips before he pulled away from you again, pulling of his boxers whilst you desperately tried to get your shorts and panties off as quickly as you could, your shaky hands making the tast exponentially more difficult than it should have been. Eddie took over for you, pulling them down your legs and tossing them off somewhere into the darkness of the room. 
You pulled him back to you, your hand resting on the back of his neck and kissed him until you felt dizzy, and wrapping your legs around his waist.
“Sweets, I need to get a condom-” Eddie spoke between deep kisses. You knew he was right, but you were on the pill and you hadn’t slep with anyone else since Eddie so… 
“No. I need to feel all of you.” you knew your words had taken Eddie by surprise, but by the way his brows knitted together and his hips rolled against yours, you knew he was just as desperate for it as you were. 
“Are you sure?” Eddie looked right at you, watching your face for any uncertainty. But when all he was met with was a breathy yes and begging eyes he let himself do what you were asking of him. 
Shared okays and a bout of almost-nervous laughter was shared between the two of you, but was suddenly and brutally ripped away from you when Eddie sank into you and you felt the world re-align on its axis. Everything making sense again. 
“Fuck, you feel so fucking perfect sweetheart. I missed you so much, you have no idea-” 
“I missed you too.” 
Eddie let himself breathe for a minute or two before he eventually started rocking his hips gently into yours. He took it slow, wanting to savour every moment he got with you. He promised himself he would remember how your lips felt against his as he swallowed your whimpers and moans. He remembered how your nails felt scratching down his back whenever he hit that sweet spot inside of you that only he could reach. When your back arched off the back he let his arm slip underneath you, pulling you close to him and fucking you through everything you were both feeling. 
Not many words were exchanged, apart from the occasional whimper of one another’s name, because you didn’t need words to express what you were feeling right now. 
Once Eddie’s hand slipped between your bodies, you were coming undone underneath him like you had done so many times before. Only this time it felt like the start of something more. Eddie buried his head in the juncture between your neck and your shoulder as he came undone only a couple of seconds after you had. Both you of you held each other through the overwhelmingness of your highs, your hands running through his hair and his hands holding onto you like you were all he needed. 
You stayed like that for who knows how long. Sharing stolen kisses and whispered promises. Time didn’t matter when you were with Eddie. Nothing mattered when you were with him, that was the beauty of everything. You were the only people who could quieten each other’s minds.
.
.
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authors note hi loves. i wrote this tonight in just under two hours with a raging headache and the occasion cry. so, if there are spelling or grammar errors i can only apologise. it is 1am and i don't have the energy to reread it and check. i hope it wasn't too bad nonetheless <3
taglist @lunarzstarz @emmalee-01 @lma1986 @eddieshoneyy @harringtonfan4 @leelei1980 @joeschains @keirasreplies @niname92 (this means i tried to tag you but i couldn't!)
tumblr please don't delete any of this thank you love you
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captain039 · 1 month
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PART 3 Daddy’s Little Girl
Logan x reader
Warnings: Age gap (early twenties reader), swearing, first times, virgin reader, plus size reader, tension, oral f receiving, smut, daddy kink, dom! logan, Abuse (Not from Logan), anxiety, depression, mention of self-harm scars, reader has muscle issues and body pain, angst
Taglist @clairealeehelsing @dirtydianaahah
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You strip your clothes off with shaking hands and check the temperature before stepping under the water. The instant soothing you get is amazing, the heat going to your muscles and soothing them too. You can’t help but moan in relief. You’re hesitant to use his things but you didn’t get a shower last night and he did say you could however long you need. You wash your body with the spare loofa he got out and use his shampoo and conditioner. It smells just like him and you smile a bit. You wash your hair and body in a comfortable time before getting out and drying. Your bra and underwear aren't wet thankfully so you put them on before hesitating on his clothes. You glance at your body then his clothes, then yours. You ring out most of the water making a disgusted face when you put your damp clothes on. They’ll dry in front of the fire, or heater, hopefully. You walk out hearing Logan on the phone.
“Yeah we can’t go anywhere in this storm sorry boss” you hear and tense staying in the hallway.
“Yeah, yeah no worries, bye” he hangs up and you make yourself known.
“Good shower?” He turns and frowns, he’s already changed, great sweats and a grey long-sleeve shirt.
“I’ll just stand in front of the fire,” you say already shivering.
“Why didn’t you put my clothes on?” He asks confused.
“You’ll catch a cold” he adds and you flush.
“I’m fine” you mutter going over to the fireplace.
He says your name a little firm and you tense a little.
“It’s fine, really they’ll dry” you offer a smile gulping a little as he walks over.
“What’s going on?” He asks and you feel like a see-through window. It feels like a loaded question to ask someone like yourself.
“I’m ok, just a little tired I guess” You shrug avoiding his eyes as you turn your back to the fireplace. You hate how he’s looking at you, like someone who genuinely cares and isn’t just the boss's daughter.
“You don’t have to treat me with such care just cause I’m the boss's daughter” you half-heartedly joke.
“I won’t break” you add gulping when you see his frown deepen, bad joke you guess.
“I’ve known you for two years, and I see you every day, I’m not being nice just because you’re the boss's daughter” he sounds offended and you shrink a little.
“I’m sorry” you mutter.
“Do you think it’ll stop soon?” You ask referring to the storm.
“Maybe an hour, where’s your phone I’ll put it in charge” he says and you hand it to him. Working outside you had a protective waterproof case so you didn’t damage it.
Your clothes start to dry off, but your body hurts from standing here, you’re shifting on your feet every few minutes. Logan’s in the kitchen making something you think.
“You want a hot drink? Or some water?” He asks.
“No, thank you” you answer.
“You can sit down Bub” he says and you gulp a little.
“I’m not quite dry” you answer and he makes a small grunting noise heading to the bathroom. You hate making him do things.
“I don’t care if you get my couch wet, but here” he lays down a towel and you thank him quietly before sitting down. You sigh in relief as you sit down and hang your head back as Logan comes out with a hot drink in his hand. Smells like tea you think. He sits down with a small sigh on his lips as he checks his phone quickly. You feel awkward sitting here, alone with him even though you shouldn’t, all you ever wanted was to have alone time with him, tell him all your problems and see if he’d run or not. The rain doesn’t let up and the thunder and flashes make your heart race a little. Your mother always comforted you when you were younger from storms, you never grew quite out of the fear. It’s warm though now and you sigh lifting your legs onto the couch. You regret trying to hug your knees and stretch back out with a small sigh. You wish you were in bed, wrapped up with some sad romantic music and a bad romance book. You watch the fire instead of cursing yourself when a loud bang echoes and you jump.
“You ok there?” Logan teases with a small laugh and you huff softly.
“Shut up” you mumble feeling embarrassed.
“Come ‘ere” he says and you frown seeing his arm open and lifted slightly. You blink confused and shuffle a bit till your arms distance. He tugs you closer and you feel your cheeks warm hoping your clothes aren’t damp anywhere still. His arm goes around his shoulders like it’s natural for him, but you’re tenser than ever. He doesn’t know anything, not about you your life, your stupid thoughts, your lusty thoughts of him, love… Is it because you’re in a void of hurt that you cling to the first thing that shows kindness, that ticks all the imaginary boxes of a perfect partner? The comfort he gives.
“What’s got you thinking so deeply?” His voice is closer and you didn’t even realise you leaned on him. You apologise softly and sit up a little more.
“I’ve always dreamed about moments like these” you mumble before you can even comprehend what you’ve said as you feel him tense.
“Sorry, I’m sorry-“You go to get up but he’s got you securely held.
“How so?” He asks his voice deeper and huskier than normal.
“Doesn’t matter” you flush looking at your lap.
“How so” his free hand forces your chin towards him. His eyes have darkened, his face hard and you think he’s going to scold you.
“I don’t need you to scold me or you to shame me, my father does that enough he thinks I’ve slept with the whole fucking team! I’m a virgin for god's sake!” You snap and move away running your hands through your now-dry hair.
“I need to go home” you say going to where your phones plugged in hands shaking.
“Not till you tell me what’s wrong” Logan says tone firm making you scoff.
“You don’t want to know Logan, you have your portrayed picture of my family, leave it” You go for your phone but he’s quicker and quieter, turning you and pinning you against the table, hands either side of your body, face close.
You forget to breathe his face is stern and you can’t help the heat between your legs.
“You’re not going home till you tell me what’s going on, don’t bullshit me” his voice is like a low growl and you go to argue but he raises an eyebrow at you. You scoff, lean your head back and let out a fake laugh as you try to force the tears back.
“My father abuses me daily, I’m a pig of a slut, useless at my fucking job, I don’t even get paid for running the whole fucking business. I’m tired all the fucking time, I’m mentally drained all the fucking time I have scars on my body from where I’ve hurt myself to feel something other than this, I can’t even have a damned proper shower because I’m wasting water, I can’t shave my body, have a warm relaxing shower when I’m on my period or in pain, I have to buy my clothes and things I need in secret because I’m not even supposed to have a bank account, I’m hurting all the damn time I can’t go to the doctors because it’ll end in an argument, I don’t get dinner I have to wait till he’s passed out to get scraps. I’m in love with a man twice my age who is nothing but kind and caring but doesn’t want someone like me, and I am fucking tired” you say. Your body feels boneless you feel tears rolling down your cheeks.
“So please, let me go home” you mutter head hung. Logan’s knuckles are white his breathing is erratic.
“You’re not going home,” he says.
“I’m going to fucking kill him” he growls and you frown lifting your head.
“No,” you say and he snarls staring at you some wild craze in his eyes.
“You stay with me from now on,” he says tone serious.
“Did you not hear anything I said!” You yell.
“I heard it! I heard how you’re suffering and it fucking kills me to know it now and not sooner or do anything sooner. I am the same age as your so-called sad excuse of a father and I hated that I was waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat because you were there in them. I hate how every time I see you there’s an exhaustion cloud hanging over you and I couldn’t do anything without you pulling away from me. I figured you’d realise I was too old for that kind of treatment so I left it!” His words make more tears fall down your cheeks.
“And I hate myself for being selfish” he mutters making you frown briefly before there’s lips crashing to yours. A surprise noise leaves your lips before your arms clutch his shoulders and you moan into him. The storm outside feels the same on the inside, electricity building, rumbling, angry dark clouds and rain. Logan’s hands grip your hips so tightly it hurts even more and you whimper against him.
“I’m sorry” he mutters gently massaging where he held instead as he continues to kiss you. You have to pull back to breathe, heavy breaths leaving your lips as his forehead rests on yours.
“I’m gonna take care of you” he mutters and you nod silently.
You’re exhausted after everything, you stand there for a while in Logan’s arms protectively around you, breathing in his smell. You don’t want to leave even as the storm clears and the rain slows. You want to stay here locked in this embrace so you don’t have to deal with the real world. Your phones both buzz though and it’s a message from your dad to meet back at the trailer. You don’t want to go, don’t want this dream to end, but you have to wake up.
The drive back feels like an agonisingly slow build-up to what’s to come. You see everyone already there your father’s angry eyes finding yours before his mask is back on. You pull up and slowly get out of the car keeping your head down. Logan’s growling though storming out of the car right to your father.
“Logan!” You yell but it’s too late. Logan’s got your father on the muddy ground punching his face bloody. The men around him try to stop, struggling to get the male off your father.
“Logan stop!” You yell.
“You ever speak to her again I cut your fucking tongue out” Logan growls punching him one last time before he lets the team rip him off.
“The hell did you do?” Your father coughs looking at you and your heart hurts.
“She didn’t do anything you sad sack piece of shit, you won’t see your daughter again” Logan growls shrugging Graham and Jason off him. You help your father up but he pushes you away glaring at you.
“Turned my men against me you harlot?” He spits blood on the ground by your feet and you frown. Logan’s snarling again ready to throw more punches but you fist your hand instead and connect it with his nose. Your father groans and stumbles back against the trailer while you wince and hold your hand. Logan’s there instantly checking your hand for broken bones. Your hand shakes but you’re ok, you glance at the team around you you’ve known for years and gulp. Jason looks surprised Graham has a mild smirk on his lips while Thomas and Frank look stunned.
“You ok, sweetheart?” Logan mutters and you nod a bit feeling shaken.
“Let’s go home” he presses his lips to your temple before helping you back into the car giving one last look at your father before driving off.
You stare at your hand, where your father’s blood is, the redness coming in too. Logan’s knuckles look fine even with how hard he hit. The drive back is quiet and you have a million thoughts going through your head, but for the first time, you feel relief and sag into the leather seat.
Next part ->
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