#but yeah all his implants pretty much were forced on him and he has a very BAD relationship with his body in terms of | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

braineater444 · 5 months

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To Be a Princess

Chapter 4

Last/Next

fem!reader x kokonoi/bonten

TW: Disordered eating, Mass murder, Depersonalization, Poor proofreading

A/N: This is pretty heavy because I've been in a rough place recently. Read with discretion.

The last two months have effectively blurred into each other. It’s been all the same. You wake up, Hajime dresses you, and you go nowhere. He leaves and if you’re lucky, Haruchiyo is forced to watch you. If you’re unlucky, you’re cuffed to the bed and stuck in your room all day.

“Eat this and we can go.” Hajime slides you a decently sized pork cutlet sandwich and you get to work on it without a second thought.

It hurts your stomach to eat so much after such a long time of eating so little. Your throat is even rejecting it a little. It takes more energy to chew and swallow than you’d anticipated. You definitely should be taking it slower, but you need to get out of this place. You’ve been going stir-crazy.

At least it’s a really good sandwich. Even if it pains you to eat and give him what he wants, you can appreciate a good piece of meat.

When you’re done, you slide the plate to him, and he kisses your forehead.

“Thank you.” He smiles.

✮✮✮

It’s good that Hajime is letting you tag along today because you’ve started to eat the stuffing in your pillow. Not a lot. Maybe a fistful. A decent fistful every day for about a week. He hasn’t noticed, or if he has, he’s kept his mouth shut. But you try your best to hide it. You re-fluff the pillow you keep pulling down out of and flip it, so the torn side isn’t showing. If you eat any more feathers, you might get sick though, and that’s not ideal. You should be sick, right? If you are, you haven’t noticed.

“So, do you like Haruchiyo?” Hajime asks, not taking his eyes off of the road.

“He’s alright. Weird. But he smells good. I think his teeth are fake.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” It’s a lot to explain. You realized it once when the Haitanis were over. Rindou has charmingly, somewhat crooked teeth and Ran’s teeth are perfect. Sanzu’s teeth are good at passing for real when you don’t look too hard or have anything to compare them to.

“Not all of them are fake.” Hajime says matter-of-factly.

“How do you know?” You rest your head against the window.

“I took him to go get the implants.”

“What? What happened?”

“Ran knocked three of them out. All in the front of his mouth.”

“That doesn’t make sense. What do you mean?”

“He does a lot of drugs. His teeth were on their way out, anyway.” Hajime smiles at the thought. “I didn’t want to see him missing so many teeth, though, so I took him to start getting them fixed the next day.”

“Yeah, but why did Ran hit him?”

Hajime shrugs. “There could be several reasons. I think he needed it either way.” He thinks for a second. “I just remember that Haruchiyo came to me with his teeth in his hand and he told me Ran did it. There was so much blood, he kept choking on it when he cried.”

Hajime seems amused by recalling it. He tries to suppress smiles and keep seriousness in his tone, but here and there it sounds like he’s telling you a pleasant dream he had.

“Why don’t you like him?” You prod. It’s not your business, but in the past months you’ve developed quite the attachment to Haru and while you can see tons of reasons for someone not to like him, Hajime seems deeper than the surface level.

He goes quiet in thought and then starts.

“He’s a jackass. I know I’m far from being a good person myself, but he takes it to a whole different level. His personality is grating. He doesn’t listen. And while he’s second in charge, it’s only for show. His bullshit falls on me all the time and I’m stuck with work I don’t want.” He clenches his jaw, and his hands tighten around the steering wheel. He seethes, “If being second in command was as simple as sucking Mikey’s dick, anyone could do it.”

“Wow.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’d be easier to not hate him if he was incompetent. Okay? But he’s not. He’s very smart, and that’s what gets on my nerves. It’s like he does dumb shit on purpose, and I always have to fix it.”

“Must suck.”

“It does, but it’s fine. I’m going to outlive him.”

✮✮✮

A black-haired man slides up to your open window and starts talking before you can process who he is or what he’s saying.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Oh, uh, they’re in his glove box. The cigarettes. I just need one.” He’s a very polite man. Very handsome too. Even with the scar marking a solid quarter of his face.

You’ve met him before, right? At the club? Had to be.

“Here.” You hand him the cigarette.

He starts to walk away but stops in his tracks. “You don’t want to get out?”

He’s opening your door and offering you his hand before you can think about it. You take it. How could you not?

“It’s weird that he left you in the car when it’s so hot.” He guides you to where a group of people are standing and talking.

For the first time in the fifteen minutes that you’ve been here, you realize that you’re in the middle of an empty shipping yard.

You look around at all the faces and then turn around to take in the entire scene. A bunch of well-dressed men in an empty shipping yard? What the fuck is going on?

“Calm down.” A friendly voice cuts through all the noise.

Rin. Why?

He checks his phone. “Kakucho, Mikey needs you. Keep your phone on you.” He says to the man that guided you here.

Kakucho walks away.

Something’s not right. Where’s Koko? Why are you here?

“Rin, I want to go home.”

He looks at you as if he’s considering helping you. Your eyes dart around, and you see Takeomi laughing with a man who has severe eyebrows and a goatee. You’ve seen him before. Other men are laughing too, but you’re not acquainted. You should leave.

“Let’s go over here,” Rindou says as he leads you to the side of his SUV where no one can see you.

“What is going on?” You ask plainly. “Why are we here?”

He scratches his head. “We have to kill a couple of people.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

The sun feels hotter. Your palms feel sweatier even through your sheer black gloves. You want to run, but you can’t in these heels, so you walk. Or so you start to walk. Rindou grabs your arm and pushes you right back against the door.

“I can’t. I can’t. Please.” Your nose tingles at the onset of tears.

“You will be fine.”

“No. I won’t. Rin. Please.”

“Stop fucking crying.” He forces out, irritated. “Do you want something to make you calm down a little? I might be able to find a pill.”

You shake your head.

“Then calm down.”

You try. Your hands smooth over the cotton fabric of your minidress. Once. Twice. Three times. Again, and again and again. But the tears don’t stop. Your head falls to your chest.

“Fuck.” He grunts. There is a split second where he’s all but throwing you into the backseat. You can feel your dress ride up and you know you flash him and when you’re situated, he looks at his watch as says, “You have about fifteen minutes to cry and then you have to be out there.” Before slamming the door.

You beat at the headrest in front of you and sob. He stands with his back to the door as if nothing is happening. This is why Hajime didn’t put any makeup on you. He saw this coming.

You scream into your hands and the fabric of those sheer polyester gloves burns when it rubs against your eyes.

You’d give everything not to be you.

The rest of the tears are silent. You lay your head back and just let them fall with the occasional hiccup here and there. There’s no more relief in screaming after it starts to hurt and it never got you anywhere, anyway.

✮✮✮

It’s more people than you’d expected. You count all the way up to twenty-five. Twenty-two grown men in their underwear, heads bowed in shame and their knees pressed to the shipping yard dirt and gravel. One woman and her two kids are in the same position but wearing the clothes they’d go about their daily lives in. Elementary school uniforms and nursing scrubs.

The two kids cry. They’ve done nothing wrong, and they can’t understand what’s going on.

At least one hundred people are standing around watching this, and you are the only one who seems to feel anything. Rindou has his arm resting over your shoulders and when you look at his face, it’s blank. Ran’s too.

Kakucho brings in a last man. He’s been beaten. Some of his nails are missing. He limps when he walks. Rindou and his brother titter. Of course they find this is funny. How long has it been since they’ve been full people?

The man bows to the detained before turning his back to them and getting on his knees. There’s a moment of breathlessness before the kids run to be at his side, hugging his half-naked body. They’re screaming and crying and begging their dad to tell them what’s happening. He stays silent. Everyone does.

Twenty-six people in total will die.

Mikey, Haruchiyo and Hajime appear. You can hear every one of their footsteps.

“Apologize to the team you let down.” Hajime isn’t yelling, yet his voice is strikingly clear.

The man yells. “I’m sorry for steering you all wrong and now you have to die because of my mistakes.” He’s shaking. Despite his confident voice, every inch of him is wrought with fear. There’s no denying it.

“Now apologize to them individually,” Hajime commands. The warm wind lifts his hair, and he almost looks like God. Mikey stands silently beside him and Sanzu stalks back and forth between the rows of men with a gun in his hand. You can tell he’s eager to do this. He’s more dressed up than you’ve ever seen him. Everyone is.

“Nakamura Touma!” There’s a loud wail at the sound of the name. “I’m sorry!”

Haruchiyo is quick. There’s the sound of a gun being fired, the woman’s scream, and grown men crying.

It’s real. You see the brain matter splatter on to the people nearest to Touma. You watch everyone flinch at the sound. The kids cower into their father. The woman folds in on herself to sob.

You stand in shock.

“Maekawa Yuichi! I’m sorry!”

It’s nothing for Haruchiyo to kill again. It’s just as fast as the last time. He executes the man with a smile. There are no second thoughts or regrets. He just lines his gun up and pulls the trigger.

This time, you’re not frozen in fear. You turn away at the sound of another namel. You’re faced with Ran’s chest and there’s a scuffle between you and both brothers. They force you to turn around.

It’s just in time for Haruchiyo to locate the man and put him to death.

“Don’t you ever turn your back. It’s bad manners.” Rindou jeers into your ear.

Your head falls as you start to cry again. Rindou’s hand comes to your hair to force your head back up. You’re met with an unreadable glance from Hajime.

The bodies fall name after name. Some men pee on themself before being done away with. It’s too cruel for you. You’ve never wanted to live in a world like this.

The numbers whittle down until the man is left with his wife and kids.

“Say sorry to your family.” Hajime sounds actually angry. The man doesn’t speak. It seems like the impact comes before the actual kick to the head Hajime delivers. The kids scurry away as Koko yells.

“Tell your wife you’re sorry!” He leans into the man’s ear. “Are you deaf?”

“Emiko!” He projects over the shrill screams of his children. “I’m sorry. Our financial troubles are my fault and I should have told you what was going on. I did this behind your back and it’s my fault—“

The sound of Sanzu’s gun going off is its own sick timer. He’s killed the wife before her husband can fully apologize.

Hajime is stoic. Unbothered. The kids’ screaming explodes into something worse. Something indescribable. They’re the type of screeches that claw at your insides and assure you’ll never be well again.

“Dead or orphaned?” Sanzu shouts to the man. It’s a question that’s impossible to answer.

✮✮✮

The screams have died. Non-executive members clear out. The Haitanis stay right next to you. Your feet are cemented into the earth. They gather around you as if you’re leading them.

Mikey speaks.

“Mochi, find someone to clean this up by tonight.” His voice is low, the wind is louder. He speaks calmly and precisely. “Rindou. Ran. Find the oldest son and ex wife. Kill them.”

They don’t object. They just nod.

“I’m going home.” Is the last thing he says before turning away. Haruchiyo trails after him.

They all disperse like nothing happened

Ran pets your head before heading to his car. Rindou bumps you with his elbow before leaving, too.

It’s like nothing happened.

Blood, piss, the salt of your tears, cologne. You can smell it in the air as you’re dragged back into the car.

Your stomach churns and your mouth feels like it’s full of slime. There’s spit filling your mouth and in place of crying, you vomit.

It’s stomach acid and that sandwich. You cough and then more stomach acid comes up. Hajime rubs your back as you lean over. All stomach acid comes up the next time.

You hyperventilate, trying to catch your breath. Spit drips off of your lips. You start to shake and you’re finally able to make a noise for the first time in minutes.

You let out a caterwaul. It rips itself through your vocal cords and punches out all the air in your body.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Hajime helps you into the passenger seat as you howl. It’s agony.

When he takes his seat you try to speak, but all you can do is let out tortured noises.

Your hands reach out to grab him and you bawl into his chest. When his hands come up in an effort to comfort you, something snaps.

You’re swinging without thought, and you don’t stop. You hit everything, but you know you mean to hit him. You punch and slap him over and over. Even the steering wheel is a victim of your fury.

For a moment, Hajime is letting you have this. Then there’s a switch where he’s on top of you with his hands around your neck and your heeled feet flailing to kick him.

It’s cramped, and every sound feels as loud as Haruchiyo’s gun.

“Stop.” He speaks gently as he strangles you.

You manage a sound resembling “why?” but you don’t know what you’re asking it for.

What?

His hair drapes like a beautiful curtain around you. You’re running out of air and your fingers are gripping at his wrists. Your dress is up your back. You can’t calm down.

“I said stop.”

You quit flailing. He lets you go. You hack and sit up as he returns to the driver’s seat.

You sob the entire way home.

✮✮✮

“There’s vomit on your dress.” He speaks softly as he unzips you and drops the new dress to the floor.

He slides your gloves off and takes a chance to feel at each of your hands. Next, your bra. He gropes your breasts with fervor. He hasn’t been this rough before a bath, ever.

You can only let it happen. You can see yourself from above as it happens. Your hair is messed up and you’re slouched over like a broken animatronic. You don’t move.

From above, you see him drop to his knees and kiss your stomach. You hear his voice like it’s being played on a shitty speaker.

“I couldn’t think of another way of showing you how well I protect you.”

You see yourself nod.

“You’ve been difficult lately, and I wanted to- I don’t know.” His hands grip at your hips. He puts his forehead against your stomach. “There’s people like that man that would’ve killed you.” He says, muffled.

He looks back up at you with teary eyes. “I’m just trying to keep you safe and I want to take care of you, but—” He searches for the words. “I don’t know how to show you that you’re better here with me.”

Your body nods.

“Please forgive me. I’m sorry.”

He hugs your waist with his face to your stomach.

You stand frozen as you return to your body.

#lived this kinda #kidding but this is what the abuse felt like a lot of the time #haven't felt happiness in like two weeks lmao #tw: abuse #tokyo rev x reader #bonten x reader #tw: violence

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curdled-blood · 9 months

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I would like to know your headcanons for Splendor and Fen 👀 Basic stuff like personality and hobbies. I have my own versions of them that I’m in love with, but I love seeing other people’s stuff too. -🎀

OMG I HAVE MY OWN VERSIONS TOO!!! I'm so happy you asked because Fen is one of my favs ever !!!

To start things off it is my version of them used to be humans that died and came back, same with the rest of their family!! I'm not quiet exactly sure how Splendor but I know that Fen's death was a murder that happened due to a series of unfortunate events that happened in his life.. Don't make deals with a man claiming to be the devil, kids.

Personality:

Splendor - to be honest his personality is about what you'd expect. Very much up beat and happy go lucky optimist type deal that has definitely been influenced by past traumas in his life 😃 He's especially peppy around kids and REFUSES to swear cuz yk... but around other adults he kindaaa loosens up a bit but he can still be a bit uptight. Even then, he still has a chaotic side that RARLEY peeks out. Sometimes he gets so wound up that he just eventually breaks down and starts freaking out but he usually finds a way to survive 👍🏻 fighting the urge to call him a prude cuz thats mean but its so truuuuuuuuuue

Offender - Okay so like imagine if Deadpool was more cut off and distant. Flirty, witty, kind of a prick but secretly has a heart of...silver. If you wanna get to know him, and I mean REALLY get to know him, it's pretty much impossible unless you were quite literally hand picked and/or forced upon him (i.e. his proxies *wearing a t-shirt that says ask about my fen proxy ocs*) Bro doesn't even trust his own fucking family, so he tends to be stand-off-ish if that makes sense 😭

I should see what personality types they have 🤔

Hobbies:

Splendor -

Cooking - OKAY BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN WOULD NOT MAKE THEEEE BEST COMFORT FOOD YOU'VE EVER FUCKING TASTED. You eat one of his dishes and suddenly you have fat puppy syndrome. Fat, full, and tired. I like to think him and his family was from Germany and that he specializes in German dishes :D

Baking - Same with cooking, you CANNOT disagree that he'd make the most delicious goodies. He also definitely makes weed brownies, though he may deny it.

Music - Splendorman may not play an instrument like some of his other family members, but boy does he love listening to music. Him and Trenderman both LOOOVE to collect vinyls together <3. Splendor definitely has a record player that he uses RELIGIOUSLY and a phonograph somewhere around his big ass cottage teehee

Tea - OH yeah, ya boys a tea conisour. He has like every tea you can think of AND THEN SOME. he probably has an entire room just for storing all that damn tea.

Offender -

Gardening - Since Fen was a kid he's been absolutely in love with nature, especially flowers specifically. Sometimes he'll spend hours, even entire days, messing around out front of his broken down mansion and about his forest, tending to the flowers and other floura.

Violin - Another hobby Offender has had since he was a small lad!! Over the many years of his existence he has had plenty of time to master the craft of violin playing. Though since his death he stopped playing as often as he used to but he still does every now and then!!

Singing - Fen may not sing often but when he does, he has the voice of an arch fucking angel. He likes singing just fine but if he's being completely honest with himself, he enjoys playing the violin more. Though he does occasionally use his hypnotic voice to lure people in so he can steal their souls but that's business, not a hobby.

Painting - Yet another activity Fen is incredibly skilled in, but does not often indulge in. But since Fen has access to so many different flowers with many varying colors, sometimes he'll make paint to make something insanely beautiful.

Random Fun Fen Fact: After his death, Fen has this snake tattoo implanted on him by the devil that is slowly moving and slithering around his body!!

#curdled headcanons #OMG FIRST ANON???/j?#🎀#I'm so happy you asked me about my vers of Fen I almost puked./hj #offenderman #splendorman #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #slender family headcanons #slender family #Did I talk to much????

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introvertbard · 2 years

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Yet more Anakin musings

I accidentally deleted my near-finished draft about this, and now I have to type it back up, so a lot of my original parallels will be missing, ugh. Content warning for slavery and especially the lack of autonomy that comes with it.

So it’s no secret that Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé gets stronger every time a humanoid male so much as blinks in her direction, and he overreacts so damn much. I was just wondering how the powerlessness of his secret marriage, where he is Padmé’s husband but cannot ACT LIKE IT in public, is yet another way that he might consider the Jedi to be slave-owners under a different name.

Anakin grew up as a slave on Tatooine, and I wonder just how FRAGILE the idea of marriage would be for the poor folks there, and especially the slaves.

All sorts of shit can happen--a raid or a gangster fight in Mos Espa will kill one of you while you’re just doing your business, and then the survivor has a VERY high likelihood of going from “free” to “slave” by the next morning. But even if you both survive, there is no guarantee that your impending new master wants two new mouths to feed, and there’s a small chance that you can go rescue your spouse.

You could be injured; you could have relatives and children to feed at home; you could just NOT HAVE much more than a blaster and a speeder, compared to the Hutts who have DOZENS of people at the palace alone.

Cliegg Lars tried to rescue Shmi from the Tusken Raiders with a posse of thirty moisture-farmers. They came back with FOUR, and Cliegg was missing a leg. I’m pretty sure that the reason he felt like he could do that was because 1) Owen is grown already, and 2) he’s got a girlfriend for support. A newly disabled man would NOT be able to get enough help on a farm from a young child, especially one who is ALSO traumatized from losing his stepmother to raiders.

Meanwhile, on the lesser end of the scale, some merchant might be doing business with you, a moisture-farmer, and they end up taking a shine to you or your spouse or another HOPEFULLY GROWN relative, so they offer to spend the night in exchange for [buying less water] / [paying more money]. And it’s like, very few people WANT a relative and especially a spouse to be prostituted if they can help it, but the merchant has more money, more rank, and at least a COUPLE of trained guards around to take care of their cargo. There is also a very high risk that refusing to sleep with them means they’ll stop doing business with you entirely, so can you AFFORD to say no?

So here’s Anakin Skywalker, who grew up enslaved with a single mother on the ass end of the universe. Nine-year-old Anakin couldn’t protect his mother or himself from their masters, because nine-year-olds are tiny and they’re not supposed to take on adult responsibilities--but even if he was older and bigger and stronger, he would NOT BE ALLOWED to protect her.

He knows this because Shmi wasn’t allowed to protect him. Watto’s got a gambling habit and he forces Ani to enter in podracing as a child. It’s dangerous as fuck, and humans are ill-suited for it. Shmi is terrified for his safety, but she is not allowed to tell Watto to stop endangering her child, because he is legally Watto’s property. Anakin is not allowed to refuse running in Space-Nascar.

“But he’s GOOD AT IT, and he’s got THE FORCE to help him!” Yeah, but Anakin’s pilot skills and Force-sensitivity really only amount to letting him survive long enough for Watto to... what? Keep fucking gambling with him?

Talented slaves are still SLAVES, they’re just more exciting than regular ones.

Shmi and Anakin have tracking chips on their bodies that their masters could detonate if they get too “difficult,” or try to escape.

Anakin and Shmi and other slaves who got implants don’t know where the chips are on them. Anakin is trying to make a scanner to locate them, under Watto’s nose. The slaves were most likely sedated, implanted with it during some other medical procedure, or they were just too young to remember.

Even without the chip, Watto could “just” beat her, or Anakin, or BOTH OF THEM, for protesting. He hasn’t done it (in canon?), but their former masters or other slaves’ masters do, and this threat hangs over Anakin and Shmi all the time. He hasn’t beaten them, but other people beat their slaves.

Ten years later, Anakin is grown up and married to Padmé--but he’s not supposed to be married as a Jedi, or he will be expelled, and her own reputation is definitely at stake if people know she's “corrupted” a high-profile space-monk, so he’s now forced to watch men hit on her or try to ask her out for dates. Are you really “married” if you can’t ACT like a husband and wife in public?

Can you get married if you’re a slave? What does that MEAN for them? Their spouses would be pimped out to their masters’ clients, or be forced to have sex with the masters themselves. Poor people would get solicited by rich folks, and forced to weigh their emotions versus money/resources. Or they just wouldn’t be able to protect their loved ones from assault by people with more social status, more money, more blasters, just more of everything, and you have to DEAL WITH IT and pick up the pieces as best you can.

And in real life, marriage between slaves could be seen as a “positive” in that “YAY, YOU GET MORE SLAVES!” Or “look, I’m not THAT bad--I let you have RELATIONSHIPS!”

It could be seen as a neutral because you can’t micromanage EVERY SINGLE PART of your slaves’ lives, so what’s the harm if they keep doing their jobs?

It could also be a “negative” because now the master has more mouths to feed, and humans take a long time to grow up, or their once-obedient slave starts acting up when their spouse/relative gets pimped out or forced into dangerous jobs, and now you have to sell one off (or THREATEN to sell one of them off) to keep them quiet.

And with Anakin growing up to be Stonking Hot Hayden Christensen, who was already solicited/lusted-after by multiple women as a forbidden-fruit Jedi, I can only imagine how much WORSE that would be on Tatooine if he had still been a slave and at the mercy of whoever wants him.

Adult slaves would almost certainly be compartmentalizing “non-coerced sex,” with no power or resources attached, compared to: “sex for money,” “sex for physical safety,” “getting barked at by their master to sleep with someone,” and all the other ways that they cannot control their sexual relationships.

It reminds me of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s dialogue before their final battle in Revenge of the Sith--everyone knows he has a hard time taking responsibility for himself, but I also find it telling that he doesn’t blame Padmé either, at least not for long.

When Obi-Wan gets out of the ship, Anakin at first calls Padmé a liar and force-chokes her in a rage, but he gets this horribly confused look on his face and THEN he starts screaming at Obi-Wan:

“YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!”

She said she loved him thirty seconds ago. She didn’t WANT to turn against him, she didn’t WANT TO lie, she didn’t WANT Obi-Wan to kill him--but he made her do it, because slaves don’t get choices.

“YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!”

Obi-Wan wants Padmé or their child or both. She wants to stay with Anakin. She’s carrying Anakin’s child. But Obi-Wan will take her anyway, because slaves don't get to pick who they want.

OBI-WAN MADE HER DO THINGS SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DO! THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME ON TATOOINE! This totally makes sense to Anakin’s formerly-enslaved and Sith-fueled brain!

Shmi could not protect her son, and Padmé cannot protect her husband, and Anakin couldn’t protect his mother, and now Anakin cannot protect Padmé or Baby Skywalker, and he’s seething like a cornered animal.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is clearly having an entirely different conversation, because he thinks Anakin is 1) an equal and 2) in his right mind.

Like, the man just kept telling Anakin to “LET GO OF HER!!!” With words. After rewatching the scene years later, I just keep thinking “OBI-WAN, SHE CAN'T BREATHE! YOU GOTTA FUCKING TACKLE HIM! OR PUNCH HIM! USE THE FORCE! DO IT NOW!”

But that’s also me 1) watching this from my safe living room, and 2) being a fairly normal person, who was not indoctrinated by warrior-priests to chant away your hard emotions.

So Obi-Wan didn’t know, or didn’t realize, or didn’t want to admit, that Anakin is going off the rails, and in times like these, you need to fucking MAKE HIM stop choking Padmé. But now she’s unconscious and Anakin’s screaming at Obi-Wan and he’s IGNITING HIS LIGHTSABER.

Canonically, the novel of ROTS says Obi-Wan left Anakin on Mustafar because he couldn’t bring himself to properly kill him, so it is also very likely that Obi-Wan was fucking shocked out of his mind and couldn’t bring himself to HIT Anakin, his padawan and brother-figure, not even to make him stop choking Padmé.

Musings on Anakin’s Mental Damage Loop:

So Anakin calls Padmé his wife and he calls himself her husband, but they are publicly not-married because the Jedi can’t get married. He cannot protect her from men who think she’s single, like his mother couldn’t protect him from being a living gambling chip, like he couldn’t protect his mother from Tusken Raiders.

And he calls himself free, but he can’t bear to leave the Jedi Order because that is all he knows, and he thinks he owes them something, and he believes them when they say he’s Special, and he is always hurt when The Masters Do Not Love Him.

He wants to free the slaves when he’s nine years old, but ten years later, he wants to be a master of the Galaxy. He says he will be a Good Master, because he once lived in terror of Bad Masters, and he knows what they do and he knows that he Will Not Do That. He doesn’t realize that he shouldn’t want to be a master, that he’s just going in circles with who gets to be in chains this time, BECAUSE THERE’S NO THERAPY IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY.

And he calls himself An Adult, but he runs off against orders, he flies too fast and lands too hard, he sulks or throws tantrums at twenty years old, because he has learned that Bad Kids Get ACKNOWLEDGED, even if it hurts and he hates being treated like a child, because he’s acting like a child.

He keeps saying things he does are not his fault, because Slaves Don't Get Choices. He WANTS TO be a person, he WANTS TO make choices, but he doesn’t realize he already is a person and he’s made choices, lots of them. That’s almost certainly a part of why he’s so reckless--because at his core, regardless of what he says or believes, maybe Anakin’s still not used to the idea that his actions matter to people, because slaves don’t matter to people.

Anakin hasn't broken out of his conditioning because the Jedi unknowingly ENFORCE it, both with their hierarchy and with their mishandling of him as an individual. They’re barely equipped to deal with REGULAR children, let alone a damaged kid that was freed from slavery last week, so ten years later, they think he’s just acting up like regular people do, and they dress him down for being foolhardy and tell him to SHUT UP AND LISTEN. They don’t know why this makes him MORE mad, why he won’t control himself and acts foolhardy again, and rinse and repeat.

Because what kind of CONTROL has this man known? Not when he was born into slavery, not when Another Master bought him and his mother, and not when Another Master gambled him off WITHOUT his mother. And he is not able to control when Qui-Gon dies, when he’s taken from Shmi, when he gets a crush on the very first pretty girl he sees, because he’s not used to dealing with death or loss or affection as a Person Who Experiences Things, instead of a Slave That Things Happen To, and so the emotional tidal waves of PRETTY GIRL IS NICE TO ME and MOM ISN’T COMING ON THE SHIP and QUI-GON JINN IS DEAD and OBI-WAN IS MY NEW MASTER overwhelm the poor kid, like they’re forces of nature.

He wasn't in control when someone drafted him into a war and told him to go on this mission or that mission, or that one and that one and that one, for three fucking years.

He cannot control Padmé Amidala, or Shmi Skywalker, or Ahsoka Tano, or Obi-Wan Kenobi, or anyone else he loves in his too-hard-and-too-fast manner, and he clutches them in his vice-grip because he knows they soothe the frothing pain in his soul, but he thinks he needs other people to make the pain stop, because he thinks he can't control himself.

#anakin skywalker #star wars #content warning #slavery

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twinhood-2dot0 · 2 years

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Psychology of Superheroes

Good evening Alex , I forgor and now i'm pressed for time and have no idea what to write :(. Luckily, I've been reading the New 52 Batgirl series so that gave me this idea. So, people have this weird thing where they think comics are for kids. Sure, they may have started off as a kids' thing, but the comics nowadays are much, much more mature, and I'm a DC fan, who're called the darker franchise, which I get, but more so because of the Zack Snyder movies (which I love, but WHY THE HELL IS MAN OF STEEL SO DARK??? SUPERMAN IS THE BEACON OF HOPE AND THE CHEERY GUY ON THE JUSTICE LEAGUE although Henry Cavill slays the role, okay, back to the topic) and TDK trilogy, and DC has, like, so many R-rated movies and series, but DC does have it's comedy, like Shazam!, The Suicide Squad, Harley Quinn and such, anyways, on to the psychology of the comic book characters.

Batgirl

As my favourite character, I'm gonna be talking about her first. Barbara Gordon had a relatively mild childhood, uncharacteristic of a Bat, but, she did have a psychopathic brother and her mother left early on because of him. Being the daughter of the commissioner has it's drawbacks as showcased in the highly controversial graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke. One of the issues people have with the comic is the crippling (and much more I really don't want to talk about) of Babs by the Joker just to further Batman's character. She did not let it get the best of here though, and took the role of Oracle, an information broker to the Batfam and the Justice League. She also mentored Cassandra Cain, the new Batgirl, which I also loved, relationships in comics just hit different for me.

Come New 52, DC's reboot of the whole franchise in 2011, controversially, gave Barb the use of her legs back with a neural implant. She was an icon for the differently-abled community, and fans were understandably upset at DC for backpedaling on it. However I think Gail Simone handled it pretty well as she did not just erase her history, she's shown with survivor's guilt for being able to walk again, and doubting herself as Batgirl again, but, that's just my two cents, I'm not the best person to comment on it. The comic was relaunched in 2014 however, which I'm not a big fan of, so far, I've only read 4 issues though, but I don't know, it just didn't feel like a Barbara Gordon storyline to me, here's to hoping it gets better. Also, in the Rebirth relaunch, she's Batgirl for a while, before going back to the role of Oracle and mentor to the new Batgirls, Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain (yeah, after New 52, Cassie was never Batgirl, so she's the new Batgirl, again. If you think this is confusing, oh boy, DC's timeline is just plain broken). Funny story, fans of Steph sent waffles to DC HQ to get them to bring her back.

The rest of the Batfam

Everyone and their grandparents know Bruce Wayne's backstory, so I won't be getting into that. Dick Grayson, I've talked about before, but a few events I haven't talked about: Batman's (apparent) death in Final Crisis and the dilemma of the Batman legacy, Damian Wayne's death, who he saw as a brother, Jason Todd's death, also brotherly, Barbara's crippling, his on-again-off-again girlfriend and 2nd best couple in all of comics, his identity being revealed to the world in the Forever Evil storyline which I absolutely loved, one of the first comics I ever read and never understood anything then revisited recently and makes a ton more sense now. Oops, sorry, I'm bad at staying on topic. After Forever Evil he was forced to pretend to be dead and go undercover in Spyral, a, you guessed it, spy agency. Not really undercover, since everyone knew who he was, but he was there to report back to Batman. Also, don't ask me how no one connected the dots and wondered who Batman could be when the identity of Nightwing, frequent collaborator of Batman, and whose adoption lined up with his appearance as Robin, was revealed.

Jason Todd was a juvenile delinquent who was unfortunate enough to stumble upon Batman when he was depressed after Dick left. He also uh, died and was brought back to life, and resented Batman for not killing Joker and avenge him.

Tim Drake's parents were deadbeat and his father and girlfriend ended up dying. I'm really sorry, I've read like 3 comics featuring him lmao, I know very little about him. Even DC seems to forget him sometimes, and his secret identity is a mess. He was Robin, then he became Red Robin when Batman died and Damian became Robin, and, I'm not kidding, Drake. Yep, master detective, shown to be smarter than Batman, chose the secret identity of Drake. Sure, that's a bird name, BUT THAT'S ALSO YOUR LAST NAME YOU DOLT!

Damian Wayne was raised by an assassin to be an assassin and his dad dies very soon after he met him, and he also dies. Strong correlation between Robins and death.

Stephanie Brown's father is Cluemaster, a C-list supervillain who spent most of his life in jail, so, deadbeat and villainous dad.

Cassandra Cain's father was David Cain, master assassin, who raised her to be an assassin, poor girl can't even talk because her speech center is a body language center so she can react to moves before it's made.

Kate Kane was in the army, kicked out for being lesbian, idk anything else about her except she has a complicated relationship with Batman.

The Flash

Barry Allen's mother was murdered by Reverse Flash who swore to ruin Barry's life for being The Flash, and his father was sent to jail for her murder because the police can't arrest a time traveling speedster from the future. Barry grew up to become a CSI to absolve his father when one day he was struck by lightning and doused in chemicals which made him lightning fast. Eobard Thawne was obsessed with The Flash and tried to live up to his legacy when he got superspeed but failed and decided to ruin his life instead. So Eobard caused Barry to become The Flash which caused Eobard to become the Reverse Flash and so on.

Wally West is my favourite flash WHO DC HATES FOR SOME REASON. Wally had abusive parents, got his speed when visiting Barry's lab in the same exact way. After Barry's death in Crisis on Infinite Earths, he had to take up the mantle and deal with his grief and settling into his role. Okay, now for the sad part. In 2011, DC rebooted everything ,as stated before. Wally was one of the casualties of the reboot. He was replaced with another character, whose name was, Wallace/Wally West. Not joking. He's pretty much exactly the same person, but biracial and less fun, for diversity reasons I guess??? I'm all for diversity but come on, don't do it by erasing a much beloved character. He's brought back 5 years later in the Rebirth relaunch, and Wallace's story is retconned. Wally is the only one who returned and his wife and twins are erased, but he still remembers them, and his wife exists, but their history never happened, so Wally has to deal with the loss of his wife and kids. His friends in the Titans also forgot that he existed, but remember him after uh, shock therapy. And then, Heroes In Crises happened. God, how I hate this story. This is the only story I've ever read concurrently and the wait was painful and each issue got more and more controversial. I won't go much into it, but in brief, Wally accidentally kills a bunch of heroes from overload of emotions from the trauma he experienced and he tries to cover it up. First of all, Wally is the last person who'd do something like this, given all that he's experienced, and second goddammit I hate how the story treats him. He's sent off to Iron Heights Penitentiary at the end of the story. He does get his wife and kids back later on, but this is where I'm at now. I have to read the New 52 batfam because Dick dies and I need to know his whole story and also Barbara's story, and then I need to catch up on Rebirth Batfam and Rebirth Flash, I read most of Rebirth Flash, but I'll need to re-read. Okay, that's it from me today, catch you later. - Alia

#dc comics #batgirl #barbara gordon #batman #batfam #batfamily #red hood #dick grayson #the flash #barry allen #wallywest

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musclesandhammering · 3 years

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On Loki’s “Adoption”

It’s great that the majority of Loki fans agree that Odin was a dick, but it also pains me that so many of them don’t seem to grasp how much of a dick he was.

People always talk about Loki finding out about his heritage in terms like “He was raised to hate the frost giants so when he found out he was one, it fucked him up. Odin should’ve told him he was adopted and stopped the anti-jotun propaganda.” Which?… Ok, yeah. Definitely. But that whole statement is just hugely sugar-coated. Allow me to explain.

First of all, he wasn’t “adopted”. No matter what Odin’s motivations were, Loki’s biological parents weren’t there at the exact moment Odin found him, so there’s no way Odin could’ve known without a doubt that Loki had been abandoned. So here’s a child whose parents are still alive, are still in the same realm, and haven’t directly stated that they don’t want him… and Odin took him anyway. Just… based on his own assumptions, without consulting the baby’s literal parents who are literally right there, Odin just grabs a baby and runs. ..That’s called kidnapping, good sir. It’s a war crime. You know, like all the other war crimes he’d just got done committing like 10 minutes prior. Loki was not a child adopted from another realm, he was a spoil of war. “Another stolen relic” indeed.

Now, let’s move on from that. We know damn well Odin did not take Loki because he felt compassion for him. Even Loki knew that was bs as soon as he heard it, and Odin even admitted that he had ulterior motives. After all, after murdering a large chunk of their population, Loki couldn’t possibly have been the first child left in dire conditions that Odin came across. So why, out of all those poor jotun babies, did Odin only choose to help the king’s son? What a coinky-dink. No, Odin had a scheme going on, and if there’s any truth to what he said in the Vault, his intention was to use Loki to force a permanent alliance between Asgard and Jotunheim. Considering that I don’t think Odin’s demented enough to try to make Loki marry one of his biological family members, that leaves only a few options. Either 1.) he was going to implant Loki on the throne of Jotunheim as a puppet king 2.) he was simply going to announce to Loki and the jotuns alike that he was one of them and try to use that as leverage to forge ties 3.) he was going to use young!Loki as a hostage to broker peace with Laufey. I personally think option 1 is the most likely, but all of them have a few things in common: they’re gross, colonialist schemes that manipulate and abuse both the jotuns in Jotunheim and the jotun in Asgard by grooming him to hate his own kind and then eventually using that hatred to convince him to act as Odin’s tool toward finally conquering them in full. Pure malicious manipulation intended to cripple both the frost giants and Loki himself, all so that Odin could expand his empire and get back at an old enemy that had the gall to resist him.

All of this is not even to mention the practical disadvantage Odin put Loki at just by bringing him into Asgard. He’s not just a different race, he is a different species. First off, Odin violated his bodily autonomy hugely by changing his skin as an infant. Even with him doing that, though, it’s highly likely that at least some of Loki’s natural biological differences would’ve come into play, like, eventually. Asgard is way warmer than Jotunheim- and we know jotuns are fundamentally creatures of ice anyway- so how uncomfortable could the Asgardian climate have been for Loki? Jotuns probably have vastly different diets than Asgardians- the fact that Laufey had sharp teeth in Thor 1 makes me think they probably eat a lot more meat- so did Odin cater to a Loki’s dietary needs specifically? I doubt it. We know Loki never got much bigger, but what if he had? Did Odin have a plan at all for how to deal with that? Not to mention just the shear level of otherness Loki would’ve felt, even if just subconsciously.

So, on top of finding out that he is the thing he was taught to hate and that his parents aren’t his biological parents and that said adoptive parents have in fact been lying to him his entire life… he also has to deal with the fact that he was kidnapped as a war trophy, and that the man he’s been calling father actually decimated his home world and his native people before taking him, and that he has a family out there that he knew nothing about (they might’ve discarded him as Odin said or maybe Odin lied and they loved him, how is Loki supposed to know?), and that his family allowed him to be exposed to all the anti-jotun sentiments intentionally when he was growing up possibly to further indoctrinate him against his own race, and that he was never even in the running for the asgardian throne but his dad told him he was anyway to goad him into competing with Thor, and that he was being groomed his entire life to be used as a weapon by his “father” against his real father, and that his entire place in the Odinson family and in Asgard hinged on his usefulness in further dominating and destroying his birth family and birth realm, and that no matter what he did a large chunk of the people around him were always going to hate him simply because of natural differences that were due to his fundamental being… it’s just- it’s so much more than adoption revelations and bad parenting. What Odin and Frigga did to Loki was illegal and extremely morally wrong and, quite frankly, just despicable.

Side note: this kinda reminds me of the movie Tangled, actually. Rapunzel’s story is eerily similar to Loki’s- taken as a child by a greedy and narcissistic yet powerful figure, raised as said figure’s own child just so the figure could exploit her for their own selfish gain, taught all her life to fear her actual family/people just to keep her loyal to her “parent”, parental figure turns to aggression and gaslighting anytime she gives any pushback… That’s actually pretty uplifting, though, because it further validates his place as a Disney Prince/Princess 😌.

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horsesarecreatures · 2 years

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Had a long talk today with one of my former trainers. She is an exercise rider that also takes her own ottbs and student’s ottbs to the Retired Racehorse Project every year and has been pretty successful. What she told me about Unbridled’s Song is this: his offspring did have a low durability ranking, but a large part of that probably had to do with the fact that he was huge at 17 hands, passed on his size, huge horses mature more slowly, and they were almost all raced at only 2 years old. When the trainers did wait a bit longer, the horses did a lot better, and this includes Cannoli’s 17.3 hand sire Graydar, who had 5 wins in 6 starts, always placed, and didn't race until 3. Side note, I was told that Cannoli was 15.3 hands, but I think he’s actually in the 16 hand range. Chip was 15.3 and he looks taller to me than Chip. He’s not quite as tall as Indy who is 16.3 hands, though, so I’m guessing he’s 16 hands.

All in all, her experience was that while the young Unbridled’s Song descendants are injury prone, once they mature it’s not an inherent chronic issue, and she’s known the majority to be sound riding horses once they retired. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean anything for Cannoli since even though he is getting the absorbable implant surgery with a much better outcome than the screw insertion surgery, the findings on his radiographs were deemed to be abnormal by my vet and the UPenn vet, so it’s harder to predict if it will be successful on him as well. But I’m feeling more hopeful that he can at least attain pasture soundness.

The situation is stressing me out, though. The problem is that the nuclear scintigraphy + ct scan + bone cyst surgery + hauling are obviously quite expensive. There is money in the estate account that I am entitled to that would cover it, but I still can't settle the estate and get that money until the estate income taxes are paid, and they are not. What happened was that after pervy Rob the accountant made the bizarre remark to me, I did decide to switch accountants. It sounds awful, but I regret it because this new guy started but is not motivated to finish. The estate has been on hold for literally months now. I check up on it every week and the guy is just like, “Oh yeah, yeah, I’m on it” when he isn’t. But what am I going to do. Unfortunately, due to the labor shortage, there are a lot people getting away with absolute laziness because they know they have no replacements. It’s a problem that I’ve also had with the probate lawyers and building contractors. Never would I have predicted that after 3 years the estate still would not be settled. I may have the time and motivation to get things done, but unfortunately it’s not one person job, and I can't force others to work on the same timeline as me.

I don’t regret getting Cannoli as rescuing a horse was on my horse-related bucket list anyway as well as starting a project horse, and while I didn't initially consider him a real rescue, in light of what has been learned about Another Spin I now do consider him “rescued from the rescue,” even though that was not my original intention. It just would have been a lot better if this had happened in three more years. But, he is my buddy now, and I am learning a ton about thoroughbred rehab lol.

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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The Bad Batch: A Crosshair Analysis

Hello, Star Wars fandom! I have just completed watching—and loving—The Bad Batch, which you know means I now need to dump all my thoughts about the first season into the tumblr void. Specifically, thoughts on the complicated drama that is Crosshair. I have no doubt that the majority of what I’m about to say will be old news to anyone who watched the show when it came out (I’m slow...), but I’m writing it all out anyway. Largely for my own sanity enjoyment :D

I want to preface all of this by saying that the above is not an exaggeration. I love the show and I love the entire cast. My enjoyment in each of the characters is directly connected to my enjoyment of the season as a whole, which I say because I’m about to get pretty critical towards some of the characters’ choices and, to a lesser extent, the writing choices that surround those. Does this mean I secretly hate The Bad Batch? Quite the opposite. I’m invested, which is presumably just what Filoni wants. I’m just hoping that investment pays off.

But enough of the disclaimers. Let’s start with the matter of the inhibitor chip. I’ve seen fans take some pretty hard stances on both sides: Crosshair is completely innocent because he’s definitely been under the chip’s control this whole time, no matter what he might say. Crosshair is completely guilty because he said the chip was removed a long time ago and he chose to do all this, no moral wiggle room allowed. However, the reality is that we don’t know enough to make a clear call either way. The audience, simply put, does not have all the necessary information. What we have instead is a couple of facts combined with claims that may or may not be reliable. Let’s lay them out:

Crosshair was definitely under the chip’s control at the start of the series.

He was able to resist it to a certain extent, resulting in a pressure to obey orders coupled with a primary loyalty to his squad. See: telling Hunter to follow the Empire’s commands—which includes killing kid Padawans—but not turning his team in as traitors when they did not. It’s an in-between space.

Crosshair’s chip was then amplified to an unknown extent. I’m never going to claim I’m a Star Wars aficionado—I’m a casual fan, friends. Please don’t yell at me over obscure lore lol—but within TBB’s canon, no one else is undergoing that experimentation. The effects of this are entirely unknown, which includes Crosshair’s free will, or lack thereof.

Crosshair then becomes a clear tool of the Empire, hunting down innocents, killing on a whim, the whole, evil shebang.

In “Reunion” he’s caught by the engine and suffers severe burns to his face. One leaves a scar that covers precisely the place where the chip would have been extracted.

Removing the chip leaves its own scar behind. If Crosshair’s was removed, we can’t see that scar due to the burn.

After these events Crosshair seems to mellow a bit. He does horrible things under the Empire’s orders—like shooting the senator—but is still loyal to his squad—killing his non-clone teammates to give TBB a chance, saving AZ and Omega, etc.

Crosshair claims that his chip has already been removed. However, Crosshair is arguably an unreliable source if he’s been lied to or if the chip is still there, encouraging him to manipulate the team.

Crosshair claims it was removed a long time ago, which is incredibly imprecise. As we can see from just some of the events listed above, precisely when the chip came out—if it came out—makes a huge difference.

Hunter realizes this and presses for clarification, but Crosshair dodges giving it. Again, a legitimate belief that it doesn’t matter, or evidence that he can’t say because something else is going on? We don’t know.

Hunter checks Crosshair’s head and finds the burn scar which proves… nothing. As stated above, they wouldn’t be able to see the surgery scar one way or another: its existence or its absence. It’s useless data, as Tech might say. I’ve seen a few fans claim that Hunter was also feeling for the chip with his enhanced senses, but 1. I didn’t catch any evidence of that in the scene and 2. Even if we assume Hunter did that anyway, the chips are notoriously hard to spot. Fives and AZ couldn’t find the chip at first when examining Tup. Ahsoka had to use the force to find it in Rex. TBB themselves couldn’t find it at first in Wrecker. If machinery consistently fails to find the chip on the first couple of tries—it’s meant to be a hidden implant, after all—why would we believe Hunter’s senses could pick it up instantly? Maybe he missed it, or maybe it wasn’t there at all.

Crosshair appears to be struggling with a headache in the finale, just as he was at the beginning of the season and just like Wrecker was for the first half.

The point of listing all this out is to emphasize how ambiguous this whole situation is. I don’t want to use this post to argue one way or another about whether Crosshair’s chip is really out. I have my preferred theory (the chip’s still in, but only partially functional), but at the end of the day none of this is conclusive. The writing takes us in what I hope is deliberate circles. Crosshair says the chip is out? Crosshair is not a reliable source of information until we know if the chip is out. What other evidence is there that the chip is gone? A scar? We can’t see if there’s a scar. Hunter’s abilities? He only checked once for a canonically hard to find implant—if he actually checked at all. And why would the Empire want the chip out? Well, maybe it has to do with that push towards willing soldiers, but if that were the case, why leave Crosshair behind and have the “clones die together”? By that point he was one of the most willing, chip or not. Did they have to take it out because of the engine accident? Pure speculation. We just don’t know and THAT is the point I want to make.

Because it means the rest of the Bad Batch didn’t know either.

The core issue I have here is not whether the chip is in or out, or even how long it may have been in if it is out now. The issue is that TBB spent 99% of the first season believing that Crosshair was under the chip’s influence… and they didn’t try to do anything about that. They abandoned him. They left a man behind. Does this make them all horrible monsters? Of course not! This shit is complicated as hell, but I do think they made a very large mistake and that Crosshair has every right to be furious about it.

“But, Clyde, they couldn’t have gone back. It was too dangerous! Hunter had a duty to his whole team, not just Crosshair.” True enough and I’d buy this argument 100% if Hunter hadn’t spent the entire season throwing his team into dangerous, seemingly impossible situations to save other people. Crosshair became the exception, not a hard rule of something they had to avoid. They went back to Kamino for Omega, a kid they’d only had one lunch with, despite knowing how dangerous the Empire was. They went into the heart of an occupied planet to rescue not just a stranger, but one belonging to the Separatist government. They helped Sid when she asked and there was plenty of compassion for the criminal trying to take her place. Most significantly, there wasn’t the slightest hesitation to go rescue Hunter when he was under the Empire’s control, in precisely the same place. Every explanation I’ve seen fans come up with—Kamino is too fortified, they don’t know where Crosshair is, they can’t risk Omega being captured, etc.—also holds true for Hunter, yet there wasn’t a second of doubt about needing to at least try to help him. And his rescue was arguably far more dangerous given that TBB knew they were walking into a trap. Going after Crosshair would have at least had some element of surprise.

I think the problem with these justifications is most easily seen in “Rescue on Ryloth” and, later, “War-Mantle.” In the former, we do watch Hunter decide that going on a rescue mission is too much of a risk, only for Omega to talk him into considering it.

Hunter: “It’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.”

Omega: “Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?”

Hunter: “It’s not worth the risk.”

Omega: “She’s trying to save her family, Hunter. I’d do the same for you.”

The arguments that sway him are ‘Soldiers should help people’ and ‘Soldiers should specifically help their family.’ So… what does that say about their feelings for Crosshair? They’re willing to put themselves on the line for the parents of a girl they met once at a drop site, but not their own brother? That’s the message the writing sends. “But, Clyde, the difference is that they had an advantage here. Hera’s knowledge of her home planet tipped the odds in their favor.” Yeah… and Crosshair is stationed on TBB’s home planet. Even more than them collectively having the same knowledge that Hera does, “Return to Kamino” reveals that Omega always had additional, insider knowledge of the base: she has access to a secret landing pad and the tunnels leading up into the city. That knowledge was given and used the second Hunter’s freedom was on the line, but it never once came up to use for Crosshair’s benefit.

“War-Mantle’s” mission puts this problem in even sharper relief. Another claim I’ve seen a lot is that TBB only took risky rescue missions because they needed to be paid. The guys have got to eat after all. Yet Tech makes it clear that going after Gregor will lose them money. They’re meant to be on a mission for Sid and deviating for that won’t result in a payment. He explicitly says that if they decide to do this, they won’t eat. They do it anyway. No money, no intel, a huge risk “on a clone we don’t even know.” But that’s not what’s important, the show says. All that matters is that a brother is in trouble. This time it’s Echo pushing that message instead of Omega. When Hunter realizes that they’re about to try and infiltrate an entire facility and they don’t even know if this clone is still alive, Echo points out that they took that risk once before: for him. “If there’s a chance that trooper is being held against his will, we have to try and get him out.”

Yes! Exactly right! So why doesn’t that apply to Crosshair?

“Because he tried to kill them, Clyde!” No, that’s the easy, dismissive answer. A chipped Crosshair tried to kill them. AKA, a Crosshair entirely under the Empire’s control. The only difference between his enslavement and Gregor’s is that Gregor’s chains were physical while Crosshair’s were mental. And again, the point of everything at the start of this post is to show that no one knows when or even if that chip was removed. TBB definitely didn’t have any reason to suspect that Crosshair was working under his own power until Crosshair himself said as much. We might have been able to make that case at the start of the season, but “Battle Scars” removes any possible confusion. The entire team watched Rex reach for his blaster when he learned their chips were still in. The entire team watched Wrecker become a totally different person and attack them, just like Crosshair did. The entire team forgave him instantly and had their own chips removed. So why in the world didn’t anyone go, “Wow, Crosshair has a chip too. He was no more responsible for attacking us than Wrecker was. We need to try to get him out, no matter how hard that might be, just like we had to try for all these other people we’ve helped.”

But they didn’t. No one even considered rescuing Crosshair. They only went back for Hunter and, when they realized Crosshair was there too, they didn’t change their plans to try and rescue him as well. He’s treated as a particularly threatening inconvenience, not another team member in need of their help.

The problem I have with how this all went down is that the team treated Crosshair like an enemy despite all evidence to the contrary. Despite Omega outright saying that this isn’t his fault, it’s the chip, the group seems to decide that he’s gone crazy or something and that there’s nothing they can do. “It’s fine,” I thought. “They don’t really get what the chip is like yet. They don’t understand how thoroughly it controls someone.” But then “Battle Scars” arrives and Wrecker is treated with such compassion (which he deserves!) only for the group to continue acting like Crosshair is somehow different. It’s easy to say, “But Crosshair shot Wrecker” and ignore the easy pushback of, “and Wrecker nearly shot Omega.” Up until Crosshair’s own accusations and Omega’s ignored comments, TBB’s understanding of the chip’s influence and the lack of responsibility that accompanies mysteriously disappears when the show’s antagonist becomes the subject of conversation. This is seen most clearly in how Hunter tries to frame things during his talk with Crosshair:

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.”

“Can’t you see that they’re using you? It’s that inhibitor chip in your head.”

“You really don’t get who we are, do you?”

Hunter mentions the chip, but he acts as if it’s Crosshair’s responsibility to overcome it: “Can’t you see…” Of course he can’t see, that’s the entire point of the chip, the thing he currently believes Crosshair still has stuck in his head. But Hunter and the others—with Omega as a wonderful exception—never seem to have accepted this like they did for Wrecker. When Crosshair “tried to kill us” it’s seen as a deliberate act that he chose, not something forced on him like with Wrecker. When Hunter talks about their ethics, he subconsciously separates the team from Crosshair: “You really don’t get who we are, do you?”, revealing a pretty ingrained divide between them. Even Wrecker gets in on the action, the one brother who truly understands how much the chip controls someone: “All that time, you didn’t even try to come back.” What part of he couldn’t try is not hitting home here? Again, for the purposes of this conversation it doesn’t matter whether Crosshair was chipped this whole time or not. The point is that TBB believed he was chipped… and yet still expected him to somehow, magically overcome that programming, writing him off when he failed to do that. He’s consistently held responsible for actions that they were told (and, through Wrecker, saw) were completely outside of his control. Even when we factor in his claim that the chip was removed, TBB has ignored all the evidence I listed at the start. No one, not even Omega, challenges this super vague and strange claim, or seeks out proof because they don’t want to believe that their brother could willingly do this. There’s just this... acceptance that of course Crosshair went bad. Why? Because he was an asshole sometimes? Taking it all as written, it doesn’t feel like the batch considered him a true part of the team. Certainly not like Wrecker or Hunter. As shown, the batch will go out of their way, risk anything, forgive anything, for them. They have a level of faith that was never shown to Crosshair.

“Severe and unyielding,” Tech says and he’s absolutely right, but I’d seriously challenge this idea that any of the others would have automatically done better if the situations were reversed. It stood out to me that each batch member has a moment of doubt throughout the series, a brief glimpse into how they think the Empire isn’t that bad, at least when it comes to this particular thing. Basically, a moment that could lead to a very dangerous line of thinking without others to stomp it down. Wrecker announces that he’s happy working for whoever, provided they give him food and let him blow things up. Tech finds the chain codes to be an ingenious strategy and is clearly fascinated with their development. Hunter initially wants Omega to stay on Kamino, despite knowing that this Empire has already, systematically killed an entire group of people: the Jedi. Doesn’t matter. She’s still (supposedly) safer there than she would be running with the likes of them.

There’s absolutely no doubt that those three made the correct choice in defying the Empire, but I believe that their ability to make that choice is largely dependent on them having each other. They survive together, not apart, and it’s their unity that allows them to make the really hard calls, like setting out on their own and opposing such a formidable force. But if Tech’s chip had activated and he’d been left behind, would he have muscled through to escape somehow...or would he have gotten caught up in all the new technology the Empire offered him, succumbing to both his chip and the inevitability that if his squad no longer wanted him, why not stay? Would Wrecker have escaped, or been easily manipulated into a new life of exploding things? Would Hunter have been able to push through without his brothers, or would he have become devoted to a new team to lead? Obviously there’s no way to ever know, but it’s always easier to make the right decisions when you have support in doing so. Crosshair had no support. His team left him and yes, they had to in that specific moment, but the point is that they never came back. As far as we saw throughout the season, they never planned to come back. They all talk about loving the Crosshair who existed when life was easier, but they weren’t willing to fight for the Crosshair that most needed their help. When he says “You weren’t loyal to me,” he’s absolutely right. The same episode, “Return to Kamino,” gives Omega two powerful lines that the group rallies behind:

Omega: “[The danger] doesn’t matter. Saving Hunter is what matters.”

AZ: “You must leave.”

Omega: “Not without Hunter.”

The key word there is “Hunter.” Danger, stakes, risk, probability… none of that matters when Hunter needs help. Crosshair did not receive that same level of devotion.

Which creates a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. The group is upset that Crosshair isn’t rejoining them, but they fail to realize that he has no reason to trust them anymore. He’s not joining the Empire because he’s inherently evil and that’s that, end of discussion. He’s joining it because above all Crosshair wants a place to belong… and TBB has made it clear—unintentionally—that he does not belong with them. The horrible actions that Crosshair took under his own free will (theoretically) came after he realized that doing bad things while under the Empire’s control was, apparently, unforgivable. If it wasn’t, his team would have come back to rescue him. They could have at least tried. But they didn’t, so Crosshair is left with the conclusion that either what he did under the Empire’s control is something the group can’t forgive him for, or they can forgive that (like with Wrecker) and he’s the problem here. He’s the one not worth that effort.

“The Empire will be fazing out clones next,” Hunter says. To which Crosshair responds, “Not the ones that matter.”

He wants to matter to someone and events show he no longer matters to his brothers. So why not stay with the Empire? I mean, we as the audience ABSOLUTELY know why not. Self-doubt and feelings of isolation aren’t excuses for joining the Super Evil Organization. Crosshair, if he is under his own control, is still 100% in the wrong for supporting them, no matter his reasons. So it’s not an excuse, but rather an explanation of that very human, flawed, fallible thinking. He needs to be useful. He needs to be wanted. Crosshair is an absolute dick to the regs and I have no doubt that a lot of that stems from the harassment TBB has experienced from them (with a side of his inflated ego), but I’d bet it’s also due to Crosshair’s intense desire to be valuable to someone. He keeps pointing out the regs’ supposed deficiencies because it highlights his own usefulness. When Crosshair fails to find Hera, the Admiral says that soon he’ll get someone who can, looking straight at Howzer at the door. It makes Crosshair seethe because his entire identity is based on being useful, yet no one seems to need him anymore. TBB seems to no longer want him. The Empire no longer wants clones. Now even regs are considered a better option than him, the “superior” soldier. Everywhere Crosshair turns he’s getting the message that he’s not wanted, but he’ll keep fighting to at least be needed in some capacity, no matter how small. Even if that means overlooking all the horrors the Empire commits.

“All you’ll ever be to [the Empire] is a number,” Hunter says and he’s absolutely right. But to TBB recently, Crosshair hasn’t even been that. He’s been nothing. Nobody worth coming back for. To his mind, at least being a number is something.

I hope that all of this resolves itself into a conclusion that is kind to each side (preferably without a Vader-style death redemption), especially given the still ambiguous state of the chip, but from a writing standpoint I’m admittedly a bit wary. We’re obviously meant to believe that the batch all love each other, but as established throughout this entirely too long post, this season did a terrible job imo of proving that they love Crosshair. Or, at least, proving that they love him as much as the others. If this was really meant to be just a matter of miscommunication, with Crosshair making terrible life choices because he only thinks he was abandoned, then we as the audience would have seen the batch trying and failing to get him out. Or at least establishing a very good reason why they couldn’t take that risk, hopefully with entirely different side-missions so the audience isn’t constantly going, “So you can risk everything for Gregor... but not Crosshair?” I’m VERY glad that Crosshair was allowed to air his grievances to the extent he did, but the end result of that—Hunter continually denying this, Omega walking away from him in their rooms, neither Tech nor Wrecker actually sticking up for him and acknowledging the chip’s influence during at least some of all this—is making things feel rather one-sided. It’s like we’re meant to take Crosshair at his word and accept that he’s this garden-variety antagonist who joins the Empire because yay being on the winning side… despite all these complications that clearly have a huge impact on how we read the situation. It doesn’t help that the show has already embraced an inconsistent manner of portraying chipped-clones. We know every clone has one, we know only a couple clones are aware of the chip’s existence (and can thus try to get it out), we know they enter a “Good soldiers follow orders” mindlessness once activated… yet towards the end we see a lot of side character clones thinking for themselves. Howzer decides that he’s no longer loyal to the Empire, giving a speech where a couple other clones throw down their weapons too. Gregor was arrested because he likewise realized how wrong this all was. But how is that possible? Do the chips completely control the clones, or not? Are these clones somehow exceptions? Are the chips beginning to fail? All of that has a bearing on how we read Crosshair—what were his own decisions, how much he was capable of overcoming the chip, whether that changed at all during certain points—but right now that remains really unclear.

It’s details like that which make me wonder if all these other questions will be answered. Will the story resolve all those ambiguous moments surrounding the chip, or brush them off with the belief that we should have just taken Crosshair at his equally ambiguous word? Will the story acknowledge Crosshair’s points through someone other than Crosshair, allowing it to exist as a legitimate criticism, rather than the presumed excuses of an antagonist? I’m… not sure. On the whole I’m very happy with TBB’s writing—despite what all this might imply lol. Until my brain picks over the season and discovers something else, my only other gripe is not allowing Omega to form a solid bond with Tech and Echo, instead putting all the focus on big brother!Wrecker and dad!Hunter. I think it’s a solid show that does a lot right, but I’m worried that, unless there’s a brilliant answer to all these questions and an intent to unpack both sides of the Hunter vs. Crosshair debate with respect—not just falling back on, “Well, Crosshair is with the Empire so everything he says is automatically bad and wrong” take—we’ve just gotten the setup for a somewhat messy, ethical story. For anyone here who also reads my RWBY metas, I’m pretty sure you’re not at all surprised that I’m invested in going, “Hey, you had one of the heroes suddenly become/join a dictatorship and do a lot of horrific things, but within a pretty complicated context. Can we please work through that carefully and with an acknowledgement of the nuance here, rather than throwing the ‘evil’ character to the proverbial wolves?”

God knows TBB is leagues ahead of RWBY, but I hope things continue on in not just a good direction, but one that tackles the aspects of this situation that many fans—and Crosshair—have already pointed out. As much as I adore the cast—and I really, really do—it was discomforting to watch a found family show where 4/5th of that family so completely wrote off one of the members and crucially have, at least so far, refused to acknowledge that. I want complicated, flawed characters, but that’s only compelling when the storytelling admits to and grapples with those flaws. We have quite firmly established Crosshair’s flaws in Season One. I hope Season Two delves into the rest of the team’s too.

Aaaand with that meta-dump out of my system, I’m off to write TBB fic. Thanks for reading! :D

#The Bad Batch #TBB #Crosshair #Star Wars #SW #mymetas #do I take my life in my hands #by posting SW meta?#probably lol

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cottoncandyjester · 4 years

Note

How would all your yandere oc be like as monsters? Because this is for the monsterfucker here.

As a fellow monsterfucker...I got you

Also damn now I wanna write a shit ton of stories with the ocs as monsters

This story contains: smut, monster fucking, talk of tentacles and big 🍆

Theodore:

He definitely would probably be an elegant fox demon

Has all nine tails

You formed a pact with him so he works as your servant

Is mischievous in his own way

Likes to play sweet

But when it comes to doing the do he loves using his magic

Will tease you for hours

You're such a fragile human so it's only natural for him to tease

Loves rubbing one of his tails against your most sensitive areas

If you use your pact against him he will wreck you

Like force him to do something he doesn't want to do and he's sneaking into your room and fingering you until your sobbing

It's only proper punishment

Hikaru

Vampire

Strong as hell

Big dick as always

Tsundere as always

"can't believe I fell for a lowly human"

God forbid you get hurt though

Will rip someone's head clean off

Drinks your blood daily

Drinking your blood makes him submissive..so he tries not to too much

Can and has gotten drunk off your blood

Turns into a whiny bitch

Like peg his ass and play with his nipples

Call him a dirty little bloodsucker

Make him eat you out do it all

Cause when he sobers up he's going to wreck you as payback

Sees himself as a royal so knock him down a peg a few times

God forbid you call him strong he will never let it go

"of course I'm strong I'm a pureblooded vampire! We are rare nowadays"

Rocket

Guys, gals, and non binary pals..

Wolfman

Prepare for a thick cock with a knot at the end

Like you will get stuffed every damn night

He will use you during his heat like a fleshlight

This dumb dog of course loves to cuddle up to you..but he can't stop humping you to death

His cock is literally thicker than your arm

You might die..but it would be worth it

When he hasn't fucked in a few days his cum is thick

Like you will get a stack bulge just from his cum

It spills all out when he pulls out

Prepare to be covered in bite marks and stuff cause he has to mark you

Yuki

Our beautiful naga boy

Would wrap you up with his lower half

Sex with him is downright dangerous

His venom is an aphrodisiac

You will be stretched out for sure

I usually picture nagas with the ability to implant eggs inside their darling instead of a normal birth...so good luck with that

On the bright side, good naps for you.

Axis

Harpy boy

Bird baby

He is so damn clingy it's insane

Sex in the sky

Yup

Also implants an egg into his darling so once again... good luck with that

Omg wait what if he got pregnant

That's probably will happen if he is with a male y/n

If you touch his wings he is gonna flip out

Like he can't handle it

Yuuji and yuuta

Octopus boys

Tentacles for DAYS

You would suffer their wrath

Every hole stuffed over and over with thick tentacles

There is no escape

They would definitely argue over who has what hole

Yuuta is more gentle but his tentacles tend to be a lot more slippery and lubed up

He likes to hit that spot that makes you just ahegao

His tentacles are better as far as going in deep

Yuuji... his tentacles are thick as fuck

Big boy

He wants you to choke

He has legit almost killed you many times from shoving all his tentacles inside you at once

His tentacles has more shorter but thicker

He can stretch you out soooo good.

Salem

Shark boy shark boy shark boy

Do you know what this means people?!

TWO DICKS

TWO HUGE DICKS

for some good double penetration action

He likes biting your shoulder and just leaving a huge shark bite

I'm not talking mermaid shark no I mean like legend of zelda Zora style

Incase you all were confused

He likes to dig his claws into you whole you fuck

Underwater sex.. yes

Will drag you under and fuck the shit out of you

Touch his gills and he is going to snap

If he smells some of your blood he's pouncing

Aka period sex is a go

Forgets that humans can't breathe underwater..soo you've almost died a few times

Touch his fin..please touch his fin-

He absolutely likes showing off his sharp teeth

Just likes to open his mouth and feel you touch them

Have I mentioned two dicks cause um..yeah

Can you tell I wanna fuck prince sidon is that clear yet?

Wants a bunch of babies with you

Like a lot of babies

Scarlett

I was just gonna say futa and call it a day

Is a witch a monster? No? Oh.

I'm gonna say fairy cause that fits

I'm not talking sweet fairy no she is evil as hell

Has a big 🍆 though soo there's that

Male, female, non binary you will get fucked if you enter her forest

Touch her wings I dare you do it and you will be punished

Wears skimpy clothes to entice you and it works

Uses her magic on you for sure

No matter which if you is pregnant she will still fuck

On the bright side she gifts you adorable gifts after courting you

Flower crowns, magical items, and all

Comes across as sweet and gentle...nope

Will wreck your shit

You have to be strong as hell if you wanna dom her

She will ride you til your hips break

Dangerous all around might wanna stay away.

Prince

Incubus of course

Give him that good sex baby

Will slip into your room every night and fuck you HARD

You can't resist him

It's impossible

Pull his tail though and he's nutting

He sees himself as this cool badass incubus but honestly..he's kinda a bitch

Like yeah he can fuck you all day but if you even press your tongue against his nipples he's weak

Also blowjobs are the death of him

The more times you fuck the stronger he gets so watch out for that

Rin

All I can think about is a slime boy

Like usually he's pretty solid but imagine..slime tentacles

Him riding you/ being fucked by you and it's like a votex

Sucking you so perfectly

On the other side of that spectrum getting fucked by him will be intense

He will absolutely wreck your shit

His entire body is made of slime

Aka he use his fingers and make them dicks

He would probably be flavored..not sure what flavor but it will be yummy

Super sticky if you would want that

Would make you a dildo from his slime

Use it and no matter where he is he would feel it and be able to control it

Slime boy rin is dangerous...he will fuck you dry.

#yandere imagines #yandere #yandere ocs #tw monsterfucking

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shreddedparchment · 4 years

Text

A World of Our Own Pt.09

Paradise Lost

10/09/2020

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 5,013

Warnings: fluff, depression, anxiety, implied sex

A/N: Hopefully this isn’t too much of a mess. Life got me busy and I didn’t get to put this out when I wanted to. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

“Hello? Yes, how can I help you?” Her voice is still a bit on the nasal side, her hair an ice blonde. Her eyes are emerald green and her lips as red as a ruby.

She doesn’t seem to remember you one bit. It has been ten months and you’d only met her once.

“I’m Y/N? I have a meeting with Mr. Swan?” You muster up all your courage after that initial hesitation, intent on completing your mission.

“Oh, right. The no-show.” She gets up and gestures for you to follow.

Quickly you hurry to catch up, watching the way she swings her hips as she walks, the movement exaggerated by the tight gray pencil skirt she wears.

She’s surprisingly fast on her six-inch heels and you’re dumbfounded by the skill.

Stopping at the end of a long modern hallway with black marble walls, the secretary knocks on the pale wooden office door, waiting a moment for response.

“Come in, Kay.” A surprisingly young male voice speaks.

Kay steps in, stopping with her back against the open door as she leans her weight on the doorknob.

“The no-show is here for you.” Kay says, voice casual and relaxed despite the fact that she’s speaking to A.I.M.’s CEO.

“Oh? Hi!” He greets as you cross into view.

He’s most definitely young. Mid to late twenties. No way he’s older than thirty, with short and carefully styled brown hair, brown eyes, and browned peach skin. His chin is blanketed in rough stubble and two dimples crease his cheeks as he moves towards you with his hand extended.

“Y/N, right?” He asks and you quickly take his hand and shake it.

“Yes.” You agree. “Nice to meet you.”

“That’ll be all, Kay. Can you order my lunch for two o’clock?” He asks, releasing your hand but gesturing the red modern armchair in front of his long glass desk.

“Will do.” Kay agrees and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

Mr. Swan rounds his desk, long and lithe, moving to sit in his chair and takes a moment to breathe in and release it slowly, as if it’s the first time he’s sat down today. When he’s settled, he gives you a smile and places his hands on his lap.

“So, you’ve been out of town for ten months?” He wastes no time getting to his point. “Unfortunately, Y/N, I don’t have a position open for you. We’ve just filled all the open positions in marketing and taken on all the interns we could use.

“If you wanted the job, you should have shown up. You were hired. I can’t save your spot just because you decided to take an extended vacation.”

“I-” Your heart is pounding, your blood boiling. There’s a buzzing in your head because you know you can’t say what you want to. You can’t tell him that you were stranded on an island with Bucky because it’s a secret. Not that he was stranded, but that you were there.

“I’m sorry to waste your time. Really. If you’d like to reapply, we’ll keep your application on file and should a spot open up, we’ll keep you in mind.” Mr. Swan assures you.

“Mr. Swan,” You begin, forcing yourself to give him a smile. Tight and humorless, it’s more a desperate gesture than anything else. “I didn’t extend my vacation, there were problems with my passport and travel visas. I was stuck in an airport for several weeks before they put me up in a hotel until they could figure out what the problem was.

“I-I’m not asking you to give me the same position. I know that I’ve lost the chance for that, but if you could give me a job anywhere in your company, I can research my butt off.” You say rashly. “I’m not an idiot. Research and Development would be a good fit too, or maybe consumer research?”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, “I don’t have anything for you. Begging for a job won’t get you one.”

“Mr. Swan-”

“Look, I have a lot of work to do. A company to run. And I’ve given you my answer.” Mr. Swan rises, reaching to refasten the button on his suit jacket. “If you don’t mind? I humored you because Pepper gave me a call to hear you out, but I’ll have to be more wary granting favors for friends. If you’ll excuse me?”

You don’t even have the chance to get up before he’s moving around to the door. He opens it up and leaves, disappearing to the right.

A moment later, Kay moves in and stops when she sees you.

“Oh, you’re still here? You should leave before he comes back. He’s an asshole but that was him being nice.” She explains, moving to his desk to drop off a thick yellow notebook.

When she turns, she stops by the end of the desk, looking at you pointedly.

You get up without word, moving out of the office feeling like there’s fire in your veins.

Loading the elevator, you turn and press the ground floor button. The cold air that blows from the ceiling sends a chill down your spine and it’s the push you need to knock you out of your daze.

As the doors shut and Kay takes her seat behind her desk, your rage overflows into one loud exclamation of, “Fuck!”

~~~~~~~~~~

“How long is this gonna take?” Bucky wonders, turning to Sam who sits beside him, relaxed as he lounges in his seat.

Bucky isn’t so unconcerned, sitting straight with one hand on his bouncing leg and the other balled into a fist on the table.

“I’m sorry, Sergeant Barnes, do you have somewhere else you need to be?” Fury asks, strutting towards them before stopping at the head of the table.

“Yes.” Bucky says, no fear or regret in his voice. “Y/N had a meeting with the head of A.I.M. today, to see if she could possibly get her job back.”

“Guess the money in her bank isn’t enough incentive to stop working?” Sam guesses.

Bucky shakes his head. “She wants to get back to normal if she can. We both do. But she’s having a harder time than I am. This means a lot to her.”

“Unfortunately for you and Miss Y/L/N, I’m afraid Augustus Swan is a grade A asshole. I don’t think she’s going to come away from that meeting happy.” Fury says, pulling out his own chair to sit.

“Then we need to make this quick.” Bucky nods, leaning both elbows on the table.

“I’ll dictate how long this debriefing will run, Sergeant Barnes. Rush me and I’ll keep you here all night.” Fury threatens.

As Bucky frowns, ready to argue, Sam meets his eyes and as he swings his chair around to face him, he shakes his head to calm him and then swings it back to face Fury.

“What do you wanna know?” Bucky sighs, leaning back once again, defeated by Fury’s iron stare.

“Well, for starters, when did you notice that things weren’t exactly right on that plane?”

~~~~~~~~~~

“You were lucky.” Sam admits, walking beside Bucky at a casual pace despite Bucky’s desire to be with you already. “If that stewardess hadn’t moved you and your Mrs. to the front of the plane, you’d both be dead.”

“Yeah.” Bucky agrees, wringing his hands with anxiety. “Were you able to find him? The stewardess’s husband and son?”

“In Texas. They were in contact with the airline but even the airline didn’t know what happened so, Ross filled in the blanks without actually owning up to the responsibility of it. Blamed it on malfunctioning engines.

“They didn’t take it so well. They’ve been paid off, but that hardly makes up for the years that kid is going to live without his mother.” Sam grieves, feeling for the family.

“I’m glad they at least know.” Bucky admits. “Y/N will be glad to know they’re able to mourn her properly. She won’t be happy but at least her heart will ache a little less.”

“She’s a good woman, Bucky.” Sam reaches over, clapping his partner once on the shoulder. “But she’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”

Bucky’s mouth turns into a small hesitant smile, shaking his head.

“Like, she’s got you whipped, dude. Whipped!”

As Sam laughs, Bucky follows, relaxing a little and grateful for the levity.

“You say that like it’s bad thing.” Bucky throws at him, but Sam takes his hand back and gestures his denial animatedly.

“No, I never said that. Honestly, anyone who says being whipped is a bad thing obviously never got it right.” Sam shrugs.

“You sound like you know what you’re talking about.” Bucky pretends to be thoughtful. “How’s that possible when you’re single as hell?”

Sam stops walking, fixing Bucky with a glare before he nods, looking betrayed.

“Alright, I see how it is. Don’t forget I owe you a tracking chip, Barnes. I will literally implant one in your ass.” Sam threatens, but Bucky can only laugh as he stops to look back at him.

Sam smiles, and for a moment Bucky can swear he looks almost grateful to have him back. Although he’s opted to take a break, a long one so that he can build a life with you before he goes back to work, he suddenly feels eager to return and really get to know his new partner.

“Will you come over for dinner next week? Once we’ve had a chance to settle in?” Bucky takes a step towards the three-story townhouse, a lovely pale sandstone exterior with dark gray highlights around the windows and teal front door.

You’d chosen the color specifically and though you didn’t explain it, he knows you’d picked it because it reminded you of the waters around the island.

You had loved your morning swims. It’s only natural that you miss the water if not the isolation. And yet, now that you’ve both been back, he sees you timidity as you walk out into the world and it makes his heart ache.

“Depends.” Sam quips, “You cookin’? I don’t wanna get food poisoning.”

Bucky shakes his head, smiling. “No. Y/N will be cooking. She’s got it all planned and the menu all thought up. She’s pretty excited about having you over actually.”

“Then I’ll definitely be there. Tell her I’m looking forward to it and I hope things are okay with A.I.M.” Sam’s well wishes give Bucky a warm feeling in his chest.

His two worlds are one in this moment and he appreciates the generosity that Sam has had welcoming you into their group.

Bucky wants to keep you as far away from the danger as possible but seeing as you’ve already been blown up on a plane because of him, he’s grown accustomed to the idea that he can’t ever keep you one hundred percent safe. He’ll have to take it day by day.

“Thanks, Sam. That means a lot. I’ll tell her. Hey and uh…maybe you should ask Sharon to come? Y’know…”

Sam quirks an eyebrow, his face full of wonder at Bucky’s audacity.

“…as your date?” He finishes, an amused smile overtaking his handsome face as he turns up and takes the steps two at a time.

“That’s not funny, Barnes!”

“It wasn’t supposed to be!” Bucky calls back then wiggles his eyebrows at Sam as he shuts the door.

Eager to find you, he drops his keys on the unpacked boxes by the door, stripping off his coat slowly as his ears listen intently to the sounds of the house.

The inside is simple, a dark gray concrete floor makes up the foyer that then shifts into stunning dark oak hardwood flooring. The windows are large with thin frames made of black steel. Immediately after the foyer to the right is the living room, two bright red sofas—one full and one loveseat—are pushed against the far wall, an unassembled coffee table half pulled from its box. A rolled up decorative rug lays on top of the larger sofa.

An open concept, the dining room follows the first floor with a decently sized dining table lighter than the floors with mid-century dining chairs in pale peach. Two of them are still wrapped in plastic.

On the other side of the dining table, is the black concrete kitchen island with maple cabinets. A black stainless-steel fridge and matching chef grade six burner stove are already hooked up an in use, a small pot of what smells like alfredo sauce burning and emitting the first puffs of black smoke.

Bucky drops his jacket and races for it, pulling the pot away from the flame then shutting it off.

“Shit…” He sighs, taking the pot to the sink then freezing when he sees cold noodles, all mushed and sticky and obviously overcooked thrown in what he can clearly see is a small fit of frustration from you.

He takes a deep breath, exhaling through his nose as he thinks about what he’ll possibly be able to say to make this day better for you. There has to be something that he can do.

As he waters down the sauce and begins to dump it, he makes up his mind.

He cleans the dishes first, then makes for the fridge to see what else you’ve bought to cook.

He finds the chicken that would have been for the pasta you were making and takes that out along with a few tomatoes, sharp cheddar, and beautiful red and yellow peppers.

Dinner is quick work, and though Bucky isn’t sure what he’s making will be very appetizing, he pours his heart and soul into this meal hoping that it’ll heal a bit of the darkness this day has obviously brought.

He sets the table and as he places the down two wine glasses, he suddenly hears a swell of music upstairs.

It’s beautiful, this melody, and it reminds him of a song that he knows he must have heard. There’s a full string orchestra, woodwinds, and a deep bass below. It all sounds beautiful, something he can’t quite put his finger on, but it’s melancholic and he can only imagine the state you’re in.

Deciding to get you down here before he pulls the wine from the fridge, he heads up the stairs.

The second floor has three bedrooms two on the left and the master on the right with a master bath and the second full bath sharing the same wall.

Although the inner walls of the house are made up of insulated and soundproofed drywall, the walls of each room on the outside are exposed sandstone brick, slightly darker than that of the exterior.

Bucky makes his way to the last door on the right, listening for a moment but the music is coming from the third-floor attic space.

Attic is used as a loose term. The space is actually completely open, nothing within it yet save for the large radio system that you brought from your place. The high-tech turntable is plugged into sturdy speakers that almost make it sound as if the orchestra is in the attic with you.

Bucky steps up onto the landing and spots you standing at the far end staring up at the large skylight as the sky grows darker with dusk’s quick approach. You have your arms wrapped around yourself as if you’re cold, the large sweater you’re wrapped in making you look soft and huggable.

You take his breath away, every time he sees you like this. You’ve always been beautiful but seeing you in clean clothing that isn’t torn or saturated in sea salt makes his heart skip a beat. He likes you looking cared for. You’ve gained a healthy amount of weight since you left the hospital and there is nothing sexier than how you look now.

The stretchy tights you wear underneath your sweater hug your curves tight, thick woolen socks on your feet.

If you hear him come in, you don’t show it. Your hands are clasped around the sleeves of your sweater, clinging tightly as you struggle with whatever you’re thinking.

Bucky needs to know what he can do, but he’s afraid to make it worse.

The only thing he can think of is to hold you, so that’s what he does.

He moves up behind you, waiting a moment before he places his hands on your shoulders then traces them down along the length of your arms. The way you have them crossed also brings his arms around your body.

As you melt against him, Bucky exhales the breath he’d been holding, kissing the side of your head as you shut your eyes and sigh.

“One of the things I hadn’t realized I’d missed being stranded on that island was music.” You tell him, voice conversational despite the grief you seem to still be processing.

“Me too.” Bucky admits, listening to the swell of music with new ears.

It gives him goosebumps.

“I guess things didn’t go well at A.I.M.?” Bucky probes gently, his lips pressed against your head as you continue to watch the sky through the skylight.

“I can’t exactly tell them that I was stranded on an island after my plane blew up.” You shrug. “Honestly, the guy was a pretty big jerk but, he’s right. They couldn’t exactly hold my position for me.”

Bucky sighs deeply, hating the disappointment in your voice. “You’ll find something, kitten. I’ll help you look.”

You shake your head. “I think maybe I should just take some time.”

“I think that’s a very good idea.” Bucky admits, his lips once again pressed to your head. He can’t seem to help himself. He wants to kiss you better, but he knows it’ll only do so much.

Both of you are aware just how much you’re struggling to get used to being back home.

You fall into silence, Bucky’s arms content to hold you.

Oh, shit. Dinner.

“I made you something to eat.” Bucky whispers, then drops his arms as you turn to look at him.

“Shit, the sauce!” You exclaim, fear making your eyes dilate.

“It’s okay, kitten. I took care of it.”

“I’m so sorry, Bucky. I’m so stupid.” You whimper.

“Hey, baby, it’s okay. Alright? Nothing to worry about.” He pulls your hand up to his lips and kisses your knuckles before lacing his fingers through yours to pull you from the room. “What do you think we should do with this space?”

He hopes you can’t see through his attempt to distract you.

“I don’t know.” You admit, looking back up at the space as he pull you down the stairs.

Bucky waits as you think, letting you lead the pace of conversation.

“We could just make it a multipurpose room.” You brainstorm. “You’ll need a gym? And I could use a space for reading.”

Bucky smiles, glad you’ve gotten your mind off your lost A.I.M. job, even if it is for a few moments.

“That sounds like a great idea. I’ll have to get you a nice lounge chair and some bookshelves.” Bucky nods eagerly.

As he pulls you through into the dining room, he lets your hand go to pull out your chair.

“This looks so good, babe.” You gasp, eyeing the cheesy chicken on your plate, laden with tomatoes and peppers. “Thank you so much.”

Bucky watches you sit down, your voice breaking as you thank him and then you’re shoving your hands over your face as you sob.

He doesn’t need you to say anything and there’s nothing he can say to make it better. All he can do is drop to his knees and pull you into his arms, holding you tight as you let the stresses of the day spill out.

You bury your face against his neck, clinging to his shirt tight, somehow making Bucky feel more needed here than you ever did on the island.

“I’ve got you, kitten.” He whispers, squeezing you tight. “I’ve got you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you going to do today?” Bucky whispers, eyes still shut.

He gives you a fright, making you jump with his sudden question and you turn to hide your face in your pillow as you laugh lightly.

“Holy fuck, Bucky!” You shout into your pillow and feel him shift beside you, his hand moving across your lower back. His hand over the sheets you’re using to cover yourself.

You turn to look at him, biting your bottom lip with playful anger.

“I’m sorry.” He laughs silently, puffs of air as he blinks slowly, like cat. Telling you he loves you without saying anything. “Serves you right for watching me sleep.”

“You’re so pretty though.” You tell him, reaching out to trace his nose from bridge to tip.

“Me?!” He asks, astonished by the news before he throws himself over you, grabbing your wrist as he goes to pin it up above your head.

Settling his weight on you, he breathes in and out heavily, enjoying the feel of you beneath him. With your wrist in his metal grip and his flesh hand squeezing your hip, you chuckle happily, licking your lips.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“If I’m beautiful, what does that make you?”

“Normal?” You wonder, knowing he’ll refute any disparities you make in your self-assessment. He’s biased. He loves you.

“Perfection.” He whispers, and you shake your head because you knew it had been coming.

“Nobody’s perfect, Bucky.”

“You’re perfect for me.” He clarifies, and leans down to kiss your lips slowly, just a peck.

He holds it, staring into your eyes.

“Perfect with me.” He continues.

You smile, perfectly at peace.

“You never answered my question.” Bucky tells you, throwing himself onto his left side, keeping his right arm around your waist.

“What question?” You wonder, reaching over to stroke his hair.

“What are you gonna do today?”

“Oh.” You sigh. “You’re going in today, finally?”

“Just for the day. Getting acquainted with the new headquarters. No missions yet. But soon.” Bucky nods.

“I’m gonna have to get used to being here without you.” You turn onto your side and scoot in close, pressing your nose right up to the tip of his, shutting your eyes in subdued lamentation.

“I’m gonna have to learn to leave you behind too.” Bucky points out. “I’ve gotten used to having you nearby, kitty cat.”

You laugh. Reaching up to stroke his cheek. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”

“Remember when you woke up on the beach? Right after the plane crashed?” Bucky’s brow puckers, a little crease between his steel and ice eyes.

“I remember you yelling at me to move.”

“I didn’t yell.”

“You might as well have.”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Yes you do.”

“Fuck. You’re right, I do.” He chuckles.

“Stop hurting my feelings, Barnes.” You pout.

He laughs, pulling you close again to kiss you.

“Mmm.” He mumbles, “Baby?”

“Yeah?” You pull back, catching your breath and pulling back to look at him.

“Why is it so damn hot in here?”

“I was cold.” You force a smile, too tight, too toothy. A downright look of guilt if ever Bucky saw one. “Too hot?”

“Not yet.” Bucky mutters, crawling over you again, his hands trailing down; one pushes your white long-sleeved shirt up to expose your tummy while his other hand slides down past the waistband of your sleep shorts. “But we can fix that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky’s exhausted. He didn’t know how much energy it would take to get back into the swing of things.

As he trudges along down the sidewalk, he passes a few people and they kindly look up and smile at him, waving when they recognize him.

His interview after his rescue seems to have changed the mind of most people in the city. He’s no longer the Winter Soldier, but Sergeant Barnes.

“Hi Sergeant Barnes. Nice night?” A lilting voice asks.

He looks up in search of its owner and finds a young brunette walking by him. Dressed in a tight silver cocktail dress with sparkling sequins along the bottom hem of the skirt and a black coat much thinner than she should need in tonight’s cold.

The flirtatious tilt of her head and the sparkle in her eyes leaves him in no doubt of her aim.

“It’ll be much better once I get back home to my girl.” Bucky tells her, turning to walk backwards a few steps as he waves her goodbye.

“Lucky lady.” She tells him, pulling her bag up higher on her shoulder.

“I’m the lucky one. Have a good night, Miss.” Bucky gives her a nod and turns to be on his way.

He’s not sure if it’s wrong that he feels it necessary to mention you whenever a woman pays him this kind of attention. There are plenty who have wished him a good night without the flirting that he carries on conversations with and manages not to bring you up.

It’s almost like he uses you as a shield.

As he reaches the steps of the house, he climbs them quickly and then waits by the door with his hand pressed over his heart.

That girl really made him anxious. He doesn’t like being seen like that. It’s invasive.

When his heart is steadier, he pulls out his keys and lets himself in.

There’s a rush of hot air that chokes him. He coughs, pulling at his collar as he reluctantly shuts the door and its influx of arid air.

He sheds as much of his outer clothes as he can. Blue jacket and the gray sweater beneath it leaving him in a plain red t-shirt.

“What the hell?” He gasps, dropping his outerwear on the floor before locking the door and venturing up the stairs.

The entire first floor is empty. Dark. The smell of whatever you had for lunch still filling the house. Grilled cheese?

“Y/N?” He calls, moving for the bedroom but he finds it empty. “Baby?”

There’s a sudden rush of wind, a flash of lightning from the third-floor stairs, followed by a loud clap of thunder.

It pulls his gaze up and he follows his instinct taking the stairs two at a time.

Since moving in, after spending each day taking care of one room of the house at a time, the attic is no longer empty.

As he reaches the landing, to his left is a small home gym. Each piece picked out by him, a punching bag, mats, weights, treadmill for you if you ever decide to use it. Bucky prefers to run outside.

On the right side of the room, your reading corner. Six shelves at least seven feet tall with a step ladder to reach the higher shelves. There’s a tea table, two comfortable padded chairs, and another deep enough that you could curl into it and sit all day reading without needing to get up.

There’s a reading lamp and a colorful carpet to make the space cozier and on across a small coffee table a lounging sofa for Bucky to lay on when you’re reading and he just wants to be by you.

On the far side of the room, directly under the skylight, he spots you on a platform bed you’d had set up for what Bucky had thought was sky-watching. He can see that he was right.

Your eyes are trained on the sky above, thunder clouds flashing and echoing around the house.

Around the bed you’ve set up what looks like a semi-circle of potted trees. A mixture of four-foot palms and Cycas, all surrounding the head of the bed.

Without a word Bucky makes his way towards you, stripping down to his briefs as he goes. When he reaches the bed, he finds you also in your underwear, sheets tossed aside as you lay with your head against the pillows and your eyes trained on the window.

He crawls in, stopping over you for just a moment to smile down at you and lean down to kiss your lips.

Your hands come up to caress his ears, then up to the back of his head.

“You cut your hair.” You observe, a glint in your eye that tells him you like what you see.

He lays beside you, looking up to see what you see, and he finds a strange sense of calm fall over him.

Placing his hands on his chest, he relaxes and then reaches down to take one of yours.

“So, this is what you’ve been up to with the trees?”

“Something didn’t feel right.” You admit. “I think I found the answer.”

The heat, the sound of thunder, the lightning overhead, and now with the jade leaves of these trees filling his line of sight, bucky can almost see himself back on the island. Back when it was just them and no one in the world could hurt either of you. Where life was much simpler. Wilder. And just a bit quieter.

Even though things have gotten better, this feels like the world of two where your love was born and nurtured.

“This is amazing.” Bucky admires, giving your hand a squeeze. “I think we should get married.”

You turn to look at him, eyes wide.

“Too soon?” He checks, turning to look at you too. “Marry me, kitten.”

Bucky watches you turn onto your side. He mirrors you, wrapping his arm around you.

“Whadya say?” He waits, heart pounding despite his calm exterior.

He feels your hand trail down his side, tracing the side of his thigh before you bring it around to his butt then without warning give his left cheek a nice squeeze.

“Not the left side!” He yelps.

“I will!” You agree, giddy and the happiest Bucky has ever seen you.

Somewhere past the burn of the spot where Sam had pierced him with that implant gun, past the pain and the throbbing, Bucky realizes you’ve just agreed to be his wife.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #castaway au #a world of our own #bucky x reader fanfiction #bucky x reader fanfic #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes x reader fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader fic #bucky barnes x reader fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #awooo #a world of our own pt09

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jgvfhl · 3 years

Text

Help I can't stop--

--writing little fics that all involve saving Fives and sometimes other people and then just having Domino hugs at the end. so. yeah. This one has Tup in it! And an Ao3 link~

no warnings ^_^ about 6400 words, very fluffy by the end

Tup liked the busier nights at work, which he hadn’t quite expected. Bartending was a lot more pressure than working behind the scenes--washing dishes or prepping food before the night started--but Tup honestly liked it. Maybe it was his military training rising to the constant stream of orders and people and voices, or maybe he just liked the other bartenders better than the kitchen staff. Whatever it was, tonight was looking to be one of the busiest that week, and Tup only found happy anticipation to meet it.

Maybe a part of it was bartending meant he didn’t have Fives constantly over his shoulder, watching his every move to make sure he didn’t blow their cover or something. After over eight months here, eight months of considerable safety, he still hadn’t relaxed. The only reason Tup was “allowed” behind the bar in front of the customers was the cantina’s owner, Mira. She was the only reason either of them were alive after literally washing up on her doorstep during flood season, so she held some sway. She’d given them beds, meals, she’d never once threatened to turn them in for desertion--all for the requirement they help the aging weequay with her business, the Mirage cantina and inn. They would be fools to refuse, and if that meant Tup was up front, he went up front.

He still worried, naturally. Not so much about the GAR finding them anymore, not so much about the Jedi coming after him, not so much about how each day would end, those fears had largely subsided. Mostly, he worried about his brothers. Fives had explained the chips to him, as much as he knew. It had been a chilling revelation, and it still gnawed at both of their minds, despite having theirs removed. It was constant knowledge that each of his brothers had a ticking time bomb stowed in the back of their brain, just waiting to turn them all against the very people they were built to serve. Fives had sent an encrypted comm to the first person he thought might know how to help: Kix. Hopefully the medic would be prudent with the little knowledge Fives had sent, and hopefully he would know to keep it a damn secret until something concrete could be done about it.

Despite this--despite all of this--Tup had to leave it be. This little riverside town in the far outer rim rarely got news of the war unless battles approached, and just about no mention of Corusanti or Republic politics at all. He had no way to know what was happening. He had no way to affect what was happening. He had to leave it be. Tonight was busy enough without adding the small chaos of his own inner thoughts.

Fives had yet to accept this. Fives… Tup had been serving with Fives for almost a year now. He’d been through plenty of battles with him, hell, he’d survived Umbara with Fives. Fives had a way of… condensing his personality on the field, a way of putting the softer and more vulnerable parts of himself carefully away into some safebox behind walls to protect it from whatever he saw or did in the heat of war. But, afterwards, the old jokes and friendly punches came back in full force, usually helping everyone relax after the battle.

Fives hadn’t taken that safebox out yet.

In fact, Tup wasn’t sure Fives had escaped Ringo Vinda yet. He still saw the same guarded expressions, the same sharp, scrutinizing stare from the field. Maybe it was Tup’s “youth” showing. Shininess. But it had been over eight months since they’d escaped Kamino, and well over six since they’d faced any real danger. Fives couldn’t keep those walls up forever, could he?

Tup couldn’t really remember the last time he’d heard him laugh.

“You got everything you need over there?”

Tup pulled his mind back to his job. “Yeah, thanks, Dan,” he turned to his co-worker over his shoulder. Danula was Mira’s granddaughter, and definitely Tup’s favorite to work with out of the other bartenders. They got along famously--the first nattie friend he’d ever had.

“Looked a little lost in thought,” she replied. “Can’t have that on a busy night, you know?”

“Yeah, ‘course not,” Tup nodded, already moving to refill a pair of glasses. Service with a smile. Wasn’t that one of General Fisto’s mottos? He could have sworn he’d heard it from one of Commander Monnk’s men. Maybe in the same conversation about eating raw seafood like it was okay (which it wasn’t, it was disgusting). At least on a drier planet, he didn’t have that to bother him.

Tup caught sight of one of the regulars making his way through the crowded cantina. He glanced over his shoulder again at Dan, who was now at the other side of the circular bar. She’d be happy to see him.

“Hey, Carreth, good to see you,” Tup greeted the weequay who had arrived.

“Minnow--” Tup’s cover name, part of the precautions of desertion-- “a busy night, I see,” he smiled, craning his neck to catch a glance at Dan behind Tup. Mira and everyone who worked at the cantina knew about Carreth’s crush on Dan. Mira was fine with it, Dan’s parents were fine with it. Dan… had literally only figured it out last week. She was warming quickly to it, though. Carreth was nice, and frankly, too far gone to do anything stupid.

“Yeah, Mirage is a popular place this week,” Tup answered. “I’ll grab Dan for you.”

“Ah--I should tell you,” Carreth said, raising a hand and leaning in. “I noticed a group of your ah… family in town. They might make an appearance.”

Brothers. Tup paused, putting down the bottle of rum he’d pulled for Carreth. “How many? Can you tell me the color of their armor?”

“Kind of… black and red?” Carreth answered, tapping a finger on his chin between two horns. “Only five of them.”

Black and red? Odd. But he just nodded, casting an eye towards the doors. “Thanks for the heads up.” He filled a glass of Carreth’s preferred Corellian rum and left the bottle, then turned to get Dan.

He nearly bowled her over instead, only catching himself with half a second to spare. “Whoa! Hey, sorry--”

“Clones--at the door,” she said at the same time.

He looked. Well. He’d be hard-pressed to miss the guy who looked more Alpha-class than CT, which was more than a little worrying. But he didn’t recognize the armor at all. It didn’t even look regulation. Who were these guys?

“Okay, okay, yeah,” he said, seeing the new arrivals had put Dan on edge almost more than they had him. “Carreth just told me, he’s over there.”

“He did--wait, when--oh.” He turned her around and gave her a gentle push towards her admirer.

“Don’t worry about me, okay?” Force, he was happy Fives had the night off. He would have dragged Tup out of the bar and upstairs to their room before Carreth had finished the warning.

Tup stood his ground, now switched places with Dan on the bar. He kept an eye on the squad of five, watching carefully as they found a table on the edge of the room, then even more carefully as two of them made their way up to the bar in the center of the room.

Dan--Maker bless her--nearly gave up Carreth’s winning smiles to take their orders, but Tup wanted to find out exactly what they were doing here. He waved his hand at her, urging her back to her station.

The two men did stop and stare when he faced them over the bar. “What can I do for you?”

He used their pause to get a better look at them. The one on the left had long dark curls held out of his face by a red bandana with a small skull visible on one side of it. Speaking of skulls, it must have been their squad symbol, because half a skull was tattooed in black over the left side of his face, and the design was replicated in white on the helmet under his arm. The other, Tup had to do a double take, only because he’d never seen a clone with… studs? Ports? Metal… things implanted into his head, clearly visible because of his close haircut. Another quick glance caught the glint of cybernetic metal for a right hand. This guy had seen some things.

“Hi,” the first clone said, a little hesitant.

“This is a surprise,” the other said, a bit more confident. “Pleasant one, I guess.”

Tup shrugged. “As long as you’re not gonna get me in trouble, there won’t be any unpleasant ones.”

The second clone smiled and nodded. “I think some drinks and credits are all that need to change hands here.”

Tup liked this guy. Or at least respected him. “I can do that.”

The tattooed clone rattled off the orders in a way that said these were regular drink requests from the squad.

As he busied himself pulling out five glasses for them, the second clone asked, “Is that a tattoo there?”

Tup looked up to see his head tilted curiously, left hand pointing under his own right eye. “Uh… yeah.” He’d used to keep the teardrop tattoo covered, either a bandage or makeup when Dan could help him, but he’d been leaving it bare lately. Abruptly, Tup was aware that his looks hadn’t changed that much since Ringo Vinda. His hair was still long enough to keep in a bun, and the only difference was the shaved right side of his head where the chip had been removed. He hadn’t wanted to shave his whole head to start over, and he kind of liked the new look. But he still looked a lot like… well. Himself.

“I served with a brother with a mark like that, just looks familiar,” the clone said.

Small talk, clone style. Tup could do this. “Yeah, what was he like? Or is like.”

The other shrugged. “Kinda quiet, pretty nice kid. Didn’t know him for that long before…” He rubbed his head. “Well. Before a few incidents.” Tup could only imagine. “Never found out what happened to him, though. Guess he ran off before I got out.”

His squadmate turned a raised brow on him. “This the one your batcher dragged off about the…” He glanced at Tup. “The thing?”

Tup tried not to stare too pointedly as he finished off the third drink and moved on to the last two--the more complicated orders of the group. That sounded an awful lot like Fives talking about the chips.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Tup.”

He was rather proud of himself for not losing focus and completely ruining the cocktail by adding about three times the vodka needed by freezing up while pouring. But also who the ever-loving kriff were these guys? He started running through what the bandana-ed clone had just said. Unfortunately, he was stopped mid-review by the other one interrupting his thoughts.

“Hey, that reminds me. Can I ask something?”

Tup carefully finished the drink at hand and nodded, now kind of wishing he’d let Dan handle this. “Sure.”

“You haven’t seen any other clones since you… left, have you?”

“No, don’t think so.” Technically not a lie. He and Fives hadn’t seen any others since deserting. But, he could no longer avoid the obvious question of his own. “Can I--um… what do I call you?”

“Echo.”

Well. Tup was pretty sure there would only be one Echo who knew his name and might even be looking for him. There was only, of course, the small hurdle of his supposed death about… a year and, what--five months ago? But that might be the “incidents” he had mentioned earlier, and of course, it would explain his mention of the batchmate Tup had disappeared with.

Fives.

“Give me a minute,” he said, and hurried over to Dan across the way.

She must have been hyper-aware of the little conversation, because she had turned around before he made it to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing, I promise,” he said. “I just need you to fill in for a few minutes, there’s something I need to take care of, then I’ll be right back, okay?”

“What?”

“Just--” He floundered a moment, debating how much to tell her. “I know one of them. He’s Blue’s best friend--like best best friend--they haven’t seen each other in a year, longer than that.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Please, they need to talk to each other, I just need to bring him upstairs, okay? Nothing’s wrong.”

Her eyes narrowed at him, her already lined skin gaining more furrows. But, eventually, she nodded, shooing him away with her hands. “Fine, but I’m not finishing this shift on my own.”

“I’ll be back,” he promised again, moving to the little door in the circular bar. He weaved his way around customers to Echo. “Hi, I’ll start over,” he began, speaking just loud enough to be heard over the music. “I’m Tup, Fives is upstairs, I’m taking you to him, okay? Cool.”

Without waiting for an answer (because it had to be yes), he grabbed Echo’s wrist and began tugging him through the throngs of people and around tables towards the “Employees Only” door that led upstairs. Echo didn’t protest. In fact, he didn’t even say much except to add to Tup’s many “excuse mes” and “thank yous” as they pushed through people to get to the stairs.

But once the door had swung back shut again, he pulled Tup up.

“What?”

Echo breathed a quiet laugh. “Hello to you too, Tup. Take a breath.”

Tup released his wrist and let him climb the stairs at his own pace. In doing so, he finally noticed Echo’s boots didn’t look quite right, and it took him several seconds to realize this was because there were no feet attached. The more he looked, he recognized cybernetics from at least the knees down on both legs. “Oh, sorry.” He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for dragging Echo away or for not realizing what had changed.

“It’s okay.” He put a hand on Tup’s shoulder as they climbed. “How are you both? You and Fives.”

“I’m pretty good,” he answered, silently agonizing over the slower pace Echo had set. “Fives is uh…” He paused, trying to find words that wouldn’t alarm Echo too much. “He’s… been better?”

Echo raised a brow at him, hesitating a step before continuing at a slightly faster pace. “What do you mean?”

Tup sighed. “He’s… I dunno. It’s like he’s…” Words failed him again, and now they had reached the landing on the second floor. The room he and Fives shared was only five doors down. “It’s like he’s hollow, but he’s too full of too much at the same time. It’s why I didn’t want to wait for him to see you.”

Echo nodded, gesturing for Tup to lead on. “I understand. Probably wouldn’t have wanted to wait even if he was okay.”

A knot of anticipation was slowly tightening in Tup’s chest as they approached the door and Tup knocked. He knew Fives was here, and it was technically Tup’s room too, but Fives didn’t like surprises. Anymore, at least. This had to work. If there was anyone in the galaxy who could get Fives out of this person hell he’d put himself in, it was Echo, right? That was how it worked: Echo and Fives, Fives and Echo, the Domino twins, always. Tup wasn’t sure what he’d do if this didn’t work.

______

The first thing that struck Echo about the room was the clear division of lived-in disorder and absent organisation. The room itself was clearly meant for customers and had simply been repurposed to allow Fives and Tup to live there semi-permanently. There were two beds, a connected ‘fresher near the door, a table with two lamps between the beds--all the trappings of a typical (if low-end) motel. But the bed farthest from the door remained impeccably made up in military fashion, there were no personal belongings out that weren’t currently in use, not even a stray sock. It was a CO’s dream, sure, but…

He looked at the other bed--Tup’s bed. It was made, but not impeccably so. There were stray clothes in one corner, a datapad thrown on the covers, little knickknacks on the table beside it. It looked lived in. Tup had claimed this space, a while ago, from the looks of it. Echo remembered the state Fives’ bunk had been in sometimes, the utter chaos happening below his own bunk. What had happened?

“Fives?” Tup stopped where the room widened out to their sleeping area, and Echo stopped behind him.

His batchmate was sitting cross-legged on his bed with a mouse droid in front of him in carefully disassembled pieces, next to a soldering kit and a datapad. He looked a bit like Tech at the moment, except for the distinct lack of goggles and the tank top and shorts.

But it was definitely Fives. Same little tattoo on his temple, same stupid goatee on his chin.

“What’s wrong?” Fives asked, not looking up from the mouse droid’s guts. Echo frowned a little. Tup hadn’t been exaggerating. He sounded… flat.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Tup answered. “There’s someone you should see, is all.”

That made Fives look up, and his reaction was instantaneous. He shoved the soldering iron into its holder with one hand while the other found a blaster pistol that had been hidden behind his body on the bed and raised it at Echo. “Who the hell is that?” he growled in a voice Echo had only ever associated with battle. The voice alone was enough to set him on edge, like Fives had just given a warning of enemy incoming and hadn’t just pointed his blaster at him.

“It’s Echo!” Tup shot back, stepping more fully in front of him--between him and the blaster. “Fives, it’s Echo. Maker’s sake, put the blaster down.”

“Echo’s dead, and people lie,” Fives replied in the same stern voice as he rose from the bed to stand at its foot. “Get away from him.” The pistol never wavered, true to ARC standards.

Echo knew he was unrecognizable. When he’d arrived at the RMB on Anaxes after being rescued from Skako Minor, it had been painfully obvious just how much he didn’t look like himself from the way that Jesse and Kix and Hardcase and the others had reacted. Now, with a different haircut, and metal limbs, and no handprint of any kind on his armor, it wasn’t exactly a surprise that Fives didn’t believe it was him. But it still hurt like something vital had just crumpled inside his chest.

“Fives!” There was a note of desperation in Tup’s voice now. How long had they been living like this? Echo remembered the urgency with which Tup had dragged him up here, not even bothering to find out what they were doing here, or if they were a threat to their safety. A while, then.

“Get. Away.”

“No! This is ridiculous!”

“You can scan my wrist if you want,” Echo cut in, holding up his remaining arm. “ID tattoo.” The subdermal pattern of invisible ink would pull up his public military record on any device, displaying his designation and current and previous stations.

This made Fives pause, actually thinking about it.

“Please, Fives?” Tup asked.

After a tense moment, Fives exhaled sharply through his nose, which meant he had relented. He pointed towards a dresser with his free hand. “Fine, grab the scanner.”

Tup took a step forward, then paused to ask, “You’re not gonna shoot him, right?”

A muscle in Fives’ jaw flexed. “I’m not gonna shoot him.”

Tup still moved cautiously, keeping a close eye on Fives as he left his position between Echo and the blaster aimed at him. For his part, Echo slowly moved to take off his vambrace and glove on his left hand, then pulling up the sleeve of his blacks a few inches. Tup stood in front of the dresser between them, fiddling with the handheld scanner.

“Do you wanna do this?” he said to Fives, sounding… tired. Poor kid.

Fives shook his head. “You do it.” It was the gentlest his voice had sounded since they’d walked in. It gave Echo some hope. If Fives could still care this much about keeping Tup safe, the rest of him was still in there. It was just a little buried.

Tup walked over and he held out his wrist for him. The scanner sort of… tickled a bit, after being part of a computer for several months with the Techno Union. It seemed whatever they did to him had made him a bit more sensitive to the electromagnetic spectrum. The stripes of the ID tattoo lit up blue briefly as the device picked them up, and there was a soft beep when it finished.

“Sorry about this,” Tup murmured while the device was processing.

“Don’t, it’s not your fault,” Echo replied with a small smile.

He returned to Fives, holding out the device as a hologram display appeared from it:

ARC-1409

Formerly 501 Legion, Torrent Co

MIA: [unavailable]

POW retrieved from [unavailable] by Gen. Anakin Skywalker, CT-7567, CF99

Reassigned to CF99

It was different than the one Echo had seen, because the GAR devices and droids could pull up his full record, dates included, but it had the important stuff. Echo skimmed the short document, then watched Fives read it through. He saw his batchmate’s eyes hover on the picture in the upper left corner, taken about a month after his rescue. He looked much better now than in that picture. Fives read it through twice, and after the second time through, he reached out and took the device from Tup. The arm holding the pistol lowered its aim from Echo’s head to his feet.

“I have a shift to finish,” Tup said, stepping away once the scanner was out of his hands. “Don’t kill each other while I’m gone.”

Fives didn’t respond, just watched Tup turn and leave.

And that left the two of them alone.

For a moment or two, they didn’t move. Fives seemed lost in thought after reading the document, and Echo didn’t want to startle him. Eventually, he clicked the device off and set it down on top of the dresser, the arm with the blaster now hanging loose at his side.

“How did you find us?” he asked quietly, still facing the dresser. His voice was still unreadable to the inexperienced ear, but Echo could hear a difference. He was still wary. But he wasn’t actively threatening him, and that was a distinct improvement.

“Accident,” Echo replied truthfully. “We needed to stop for fuel after a mission, and the boys wanted a drink, so…” He figured the rest of the story was self-explanatory. When Fives didn’t follow with another question, he added, “Do you believe it’s me now?”

Fives’ empty hand slowly curled into a fist on top of the dresser, then slowly relaxed. “I think so,” he answered.

“Can I ask you to put the blaster down?”

His batchmate looked down at the weapon, like he’d only just noticed it. After another moment of thought, he set it down beside the scanner, then finally looked up at Echo. “What happened to you?”

He shrugged. He was used to people staring at him by now, with all his machinery, and even more used to that question. “An explosion and a few mad scientists.” He took a step towards Fives, encouraged when he made no move for the blaster in response. “The Seppies handed me over to the Techno Union after they pulled me out of The Citadel.” He gestured to his legs and head with his prosthetic hand. “They did all this.”

“Why?”

Echo took another step towards him, scrutinizing his face for the tells and signs he had grown up learning. Even ARC training couldn’t hide it all from him, so despite the emotionless front Fives had put up--and had had on since Echo had walked in, he could tell a few things. Most glaringly, he was exhausted. Beyond exhausted, in some aspects. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping well, if at all, for days at a time, if the shadows under his eyes were anything to go by.

“To get the strategic algorithm,” he answered, keeping his voice soft and even, giving no signs he could see how bad Fives looked. “The one I made with Rex. I guess they were using it on Anaxes about two and a half months after you and Tup left. Rex recognized it, and that’s how they found me.” Fives nodded. He looked numb behind the exhaustion. He rubbed his face roughly, and Echo took another couple steps forward. “No one’s coming after you, Fives.”

He watched his shoulders tense, hands still over his face.

“I mean it. The stuff you sent to Kix about the chips--you did the right thing. We’ve figured a lot of it out, we know Tup wasn’t in control of himself on Ringo Vinda. We know someone set this whole thing up. No one is coming after you, I promise.”

Slowly, Fives’ hands lowered from his face, and Echo’s heart leapt. Finally, he could see something in his eyes. They were no longer forcefully void of emotion, guarded by walls built during ARC training. It would have made Echo smile, if what he saw hadn’t been such overwhelming loneliness. It made sense now that Tup had described a kind of hollowness. If he’d seen something like it before Citadel, he would have wasted no time dragging his brother into a hug and not letting go until he felt the stress ease from his muscles. But then was not now. Fives was hurting, yes. But Echo had to be patient.

He stayed put as Fives moved again, this time over to the foot of the bed to sit on the floor, leaning back against the bedframe. Drained. “Is Tup mad at me?”

Echo did smile then, a small smile, and a little sad. “Oh, Fives,” he sighed.

Fives, always loyal to his brothers first, and the Republic second. Fives, who had always hated being left alone for any amount of time, no matter how brief. Fives, who had always spent extra time with the shinies after their first battles to make sure they took care of themselves. Fives, who had sensed the chips ran deeper than first thought, and risked his life gathering what he could to save his brothers. Fives, who had suddenly found himself without anyone, except Tup, and had done everything in his power to keep his little brother safe, no matter what it would do to him.

“No, I don’t think he’s mad at you,” he finally said, walking the few steps over until he was standing to Fives’ left. “A little frustrated you did this to yourself, maybe. But not angry.” He gestured to the floor next to his brother. “Can I sit?”

Fives nodded, barely a dip of the chin. “I just wanted to keep him safe,” he said in a very small voice.

“You did,” Echo told him as he sat down next to him, but facing towards him. “You did a great job. No one even thought to look here, no one had any idea where you two had gone.” He set down his glove and his vambrace that he’d been carrying since taking them off. Then he started taking off the rest of the armor on his arm, setting it all in a pile off to his far side.

Fives watched him, curious, but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he wanted to know, “What did you find out about the chips?”

Echo frowned as he unclipped the sides of his chest plate and pulled the whole thing over his head. He wanted Fives to relax, to let go of the stress he’d been carrying. Talking about what they’d discovered, and what they had yet to figure out, would just get him thinking again. “Do I have to tell you now?” When Fives’ only response was dropping his gaze to the floor between his feet with a minuscule shrug, Echo elaborated. “Fives, as your batchmate, let me say this: you are dead tired. You look like you’ve been running on fumes--mentally and emotionally, if not physically--for about two weeks. Kix would scrape the medic symbol off his shoulder bell if he let you go anywhere in this state. I would rather wait until tomorrow, so I can make sure you get a good night’s rest and some breakfast, and then I will tell you and Tup everything. Okay?”

Fives knew he was right. Echo knew that he knew he was right. He drew his knees up to his chest and rubbed his face again. “Okay,” he sighed, but he didn’t look happy about it.

Echo smiled again. “You know you missed my nagging,” he said, holding out his hand.

To his utter delight, the corners of Fives’ mouth pulled up ever so slightly. He put out his hand, hesitated a little, but finally let it land in Echo’s. “Yeah, I did,” he agreed, linking their thumbs and holding tight. He let his head fall back against the mattress behind him, avoiding his brother’s gaze, but Echo’s trained eye saw the muscles in his neck constrict, saw the small stutter in his breathing, and he already knew.

“Looks like rain, huh?” he said quietly, squeezing his brother’s hand. It was an old code from Domino’s cadet days. They had all been so damn stubborn, none of them had wanted to admit when they needed a good cry. So, they had used Kamino’s weather as a cover. Fives and Echo had kept it up, even when it no longer made sense on a ship in the middle of hyperspace, for example.

Fives shut his eyes tightly and nodded, squeezing his hand in return.

“C’mere.”

He uncurled from where he sat against the bed and let Echo gather him up in his arms, holding him against his unarmored chest--because he had been pretty sure it would end up like this. Fives pressed his face into his left shoulder immediately, wrapping both arms around his torso and digging his fingers into his blacks. Echo rested his chin on his brother’s hair and put his hand on the back of his neck, holding him there while he unraveled.

How long had it been since he had seen his last batchmate? Something approaching two years at this point. Echo hugged tighter upon remembering that, and upon remembering what it had been like trying to put his life back together after the Techno Union without him. He was determined to keep Fives from going through anything like it now, even if this reunion was far from what he might have imagined.

After some time Echo didn’t bother to track, he felt Fives settle in his arms and heard his breathing descend to a more normal pace. He pressed a kiss to his head and ruffled his hair. As much as he hated hearing Fives cry, this was light years better than the calculating and emotionless man who’d had a blaster pointed at him a few minutes ago. It hurt, yes, but it was human. If it made Echo’s heart twinge a little, it was worth it to know this was normal.

“Feel better?” he murmured. Fives nodded silently, loosening his death-grip on his brother’s blacks. “Can we get off the floor now? My knees aren’t what they used to be.”

The noise Fives made was somewhere between a sob and a cough as he sat up from where he’d been slumped against Echo’s chest. But he was smiling, weakly, so it must have been a laugh. “Yeah, okay.”

Echo helped him wipe away a few stray tears. “You’re a kriffing mess, brother,” he smirked. “Maybe you can get some sleep until Tup’s shift ends, hm?”

“You’re staying, yeah?”

“Of course I’m staying,” he assured him, a little affronted he would think otherwise. Fives nodded, letting his head fall forward until their foreheads touched. Echo leaned in and felt a shaky breath of relief leave his lips.

“I really need a drink.”

Echo sat up with a smile. “You and me both, but I think sleep will be better for you.”

______

It was a little after midnight by the time Tup had finished his shift and he was climbing the stairs to his room again, this time with three beers in his hands, because he felt bad about whisking Echo off without filling his order. Echo’s new squad was still downstairs. He’d explained what had happened to them, and they had all been surprisingly accepting of it. Echo must have told them about Fives.

He hesitated in front of his door, one hand on the handle. He couldn’t hear anything from inside, which… was probably good, right? They’d had over two hours to themselves. Either they’d settled things, or they’d stunned each other. Well. He pushed the door open, knocking on it lightly as he did so.

“Hey, guys, I’m back.” He walked softly until he was in the main part of the room, then he smiled.

Echo and Fives were laid out on Fives’ bed, the latter tucked safely under his batchmate’s arm. It was the first time Tup had actually seen Fives asleep in weeks. Usually, he was still up when Tup went to bed, and awake before Tup got up. It was also the first time in months Fives had willingly put himself in contact with another person. He noticed Echo’s full kit was piled at the foot of the bed, along… along with his legs, yes. He was still getting used to that.

Echo was blinking sleepily when Tup walked in. “Hey, Tup,” he smiled. “Those for us?”

Tup held up the three bottles. “Yeah. I… felt kinda bad you didn’t get your drink earlier.”

Echo nodded. “Oh, it’s alright. But, I will certainly take that drink now, as soon as I get this lump off my arm.” He waved the hand attached to the arm Fives had pinned down.

Tup walked over and sat down on the end of the bed where Echo’s feet weren’t. “I’m glad he’s asleep.”

“Yeah, me too,” his older brother agreed, rubbing Fives’ shoulder. “But, I said I’d wake him up when you came back.” He patted Fives’ shoulder a bit more aggressively. “Come on, brother.”

It took a while, but it worked eventually. Fives grumbled quietly, at first shoving his face deeper into the pillows before Echo dragged his arm out from under him, then he hauled himself upright. Echo similarly pushed himself up, leaning against his brother.

“Hey, Fives,” Tup said, still a little uncertain.

Fives rubbed his eyes, then blinked groggily at him. Echo ruffled his hair roughly to help him wake up, and a tiny smile appeared on his face. A real one, too, not one of the tight, professional smiles Tup had seen him use in the past. “Hey, Tup.”

A huge smile lit up Tup’s face. Echo had done it. “That’s more like it,” he said triumphantly.

“Yeah, I know,” Fives said, looking a bit sheepish, which was awesome, because Tup hadn’t seen many emotions out of him other than a range of unhappy in way too long. “Sorry about… everything.”

Tup’s smile softened a bit. “Thank you. It’s okay--I mean, I’m glad you’re okay.”

He nodded back. “Yeah, well… we’re getting there.” His eyes landed on the drinks in Tup’s hand. Tup had picked out one he knew was a favorite. “Those aren’t being saved for any special occasion, are they?” he asked, gesturing to them.

Tup smirked and held them up. “Just this one,” he answered, and handed them out.

He was about to get up to get a bottle opener, then watched as Echo’s cybernetic hand plucked off the cap like it was nothing. Fives blinked at his batchmate’s open bottle, then held out his to open as well. Echo rolled his eyes, but obliged. Fives smiled again, clinking their bottles together before taking a swig.

Echo held out his hand to Tup, whose bottle remained unopened. “It’s the most hand-like thing this thing can do, please,” he urged, so Tup held out his bottle and let him open it.

Then Fives scooched back to sit against the headboard and gestured Tup over as well. “C’mere,” he said, “I’ve been a dick to you, I should start making it up.”

Tup gave another huge grin and got up to get on the other side of the bed. “Good to have you back,” he said, maybe a little smug, as he kicked off his shoes and carefully climbed in so he didn’t spill his drink.

“Glad to be here,” Fives said, putting an arm around Tup’s neck and tapping their foreheads together lightly. “Good on you for bringing in the heavy artillery,” he added, gesturing with his bottle to Echo on his other side.

Tup could only give a nonverbal sound in reply as he took a drink. Then he sighed contentedly and relaxed against Fives’ side. He hadn’t quite realized how much stress he had been carrying because of Fives, and it was all leaving him in a rush, like he’d just taken off his kit after a twelve-hour march. He felt light, and happy, and safe. And hopefully, it wouldn’t be too long before they could really go home, and he could see the rest of his brothers. The thought made him smile as he listened absently to Fives and Echo chat about nothing in particular. Yeah. This was good.

#looks long huh #my writing #my fanfic #tcw fanfic #i write things sometimes #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #clone trooper tup #fix it fic #domino twins #*cries in loving domino squad*#this au brought to you by:#EVERYONE IS FINE #userblossom

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jackarychaoti · 3 years

Text

DWC2021-15 - Memory/Chase

TW: Blood | Body Horror | Disturbing Images

-[ MUSIC ] -

Insanity.

In Azeroth, it was known as The Madness, The Darkening, the Dragon’s Sickness... The Nightmare. In many worlds, in millions of languages, it had endless names but it always meant the same thing. A corruption, often brought on by nightmarish feelings or situations, that ate the being alive, twisting it into something else entirely. Dragons fell particularly hard to such a toxic curse, especially.

This was no exception.

“DO NOT LET HIM GET INTO THE FOREST, WE’LL FUCKING LOSE HIM FOREVER!!”

Lokitan screamed as a mere handful of the Heran army raced upon war-bred Granondo, a clove-hooved type horse with coiled horns, best used to ram incoming enemies. Terrifyingly fast creatures that feared nothing in the heat of battle and yet they could not quite keep up with the terror streaking through the rotting fields of a dying wasteland and seemed even less inclined to get anywhere near it.

The target they hunted was a slithering creature running on all fours, bones twisted and inhuman with long tendrils of muddied hair, making the thing look even more sickly in the way that it hung over the face. Now and then, piercing silver eyes would dart back to see just how much closer its pursuers had come in the wild hunt, noting the way the warriors had begun to flank it. If only it could reach the edge of the forest, the beast would have a far better tactical advantage and a speed increase, let alone an easier time to attack those that hunted it.

“Loki!” A voice called out and soon a female rider pushed her steed up to the Dread Prince himself, eyes narrowed, glancing over in his direction. Fire blazed all around her, the snowy locks of her hair wild and free as a hellish set of crimson eyes flitted to the dark-haired rogue. “What do we do if it gets to the forest before we can reach him?!”

“You pray to your mother that we take him down before that.”

Chaos.

It was absolute chaos and he had just told her to pray to the deity that created it.

Inch after inch, Lokitan pressed forward, signaling the General’s finest men to continue flanking the beast, heels dug in harder into his skeletal Granondo to push onward and finally close in the distance of the skittering cretin running on all fours. Once close enough, the agile Prince pushed himself to crouch atop the saddle; he lunged, flickering through the very shadows to reappear right on top of the nightmarish beast. He dared not draw a weapon.

Not against this one.

The clashing form was greeted by the muddied, anemic animal twisting itself to bite hard at its would-be attacker, using the momentum to kick Lokitan right off and send him flying. That mere few seconds to protect itself was costing its safety to get into the forest. A loud shrieking cry pierced through the veil of carnage, knowing the chase was quickly coming to an end. Claws grabbed at the deep red mud below, years of war and corpses all around, the thick blood of countless soldiers meshed together with protected soils and painful, bitter rain. The slick surface had the creature try another attempt to break free, slipping the first few steps.

It was so close… The forest was but a hundred yards away.

Lokitan rolled through the slimy fighting ground, catching himself to snag at the beast’s ankle, yanking it back to throw it in the other direction. He was doing all he could to buy the warriors more time to position themselves and close in on the fighting pair.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Jack.”

Melted silver raised from under the long strands of hair while the beast hunched itself further, a deep snarl and razored fangs revealed themselves in a warning. The aggressive display had Loki push himself to stand and raise his clawed hands, exposing that he was as unarmed as he could possibly be. He stared down at the nightmare-fueled version of his cousin, his best friend who he knew was in so much pain that he had allowed the darkness to consume his heart.

“Look at me, Jackary… I don’t want to hurt you, hn..?”

There was a brief pause and for a moment, the world stood still. Even the droplets of sweat and foul mud froze in place for a fraction of a second while the thing Lokitan referred to as ‘Jackary’ mulled over its choices. Heavy breaths of air pushed out, bellowed in smoke pouring from its twisted jaw that was filled with acidic drool that flopped to the ground in large globs - a clear sign of the beast’s stress.

“Let’s get you home… Let’s get cleaned up…” A leather-clad hand dared to reach for the unholy creation but within a blink of an eye, time sped back up. Teeth snapped at the grasp, claws raised to full-on attack the one being that kept the beast from the forest it was trying to get to.

“FUCKING--!” Loki found himself head to head with the writhing mass of acid-spitting, half-transformed wyrm, a Beast of Insanity that wore a Prince’s crown and who was upsetting the balance of life and death. Without one, there couldn’t truly be another. Every snap of the jowls and swipe of talons was blocked or barely dodged, up until Lokitan lost his footing.

Slipping, he found himself under those wild jaws, hands clasped the wide-open maw above him that threatened to clamp down on his face and bite his skull clean in half. Muscles ached, his posture shook from trying to push what was once his peaceful, loving cousin off him. It wasn’t until another bubbling mixture of acid was seen dripping from under the beast’s tongue that the rogue knew he was in deep trouble… He was going to have to hurt the beast or die.

One hand released the mouth and in a split-second decision, the palm shoved up hard to strike at the creature’s jawline, his intensely sharp claws sliced the beast’s right jaw, stunning and pushing it away, jarred in surprise. It left Lokitan with just the smallest leeway to raise his hand up in the air, giving a hidden signal.

The Insanity-addled creature hissed loudly but before it could turn to lunge the last few steps to disappear into the forest and become a haunting ghost, a slough of chains and ropes fell atop it, blanketing the wild creature. The engineered nets implanted themselves into the dirt below, radiating pulsations of electrical charges to stun the captured beast into a horrifying submission. The haunting screams of agony, half-human, half-dragon rang out in a near ear-shattering volume.

Only when it stopped struggling to even stand did the shocking currents of energy cease their barbaric, but effective, handling.

“Are you hurt?” The woman from earlier charged forward, sliding down from her fiery warsteed to help Lokitan up from the wet earth.

“No,” Lokitan spat out, snagging the hand to be hoisted up, wincing when it indeed hurt to put any sort of weight on one of his legs. Glancing down at it, he was sure there was likely a fracture somewhere... But now wasn’t the time to dawdle.

“Well, you’re not dead, dear brother, so…” Musing, she helped at least support the Dark Prince, glancing down at the wheezing, now bleeding beast. “This isn’t curable, you know. When someone falls to the Insanity, they don’t come back.”

“Untrue,” Loki quipped, hobbling over with his sister’s help until he was able to ease down and sit next to the captured animal. A gloved hand reached forward, pushing the black hair from its face to indeed reveal a half transformed Jackary, the silver spiral of his eyes a dead giveaway at the corruption. “There was a Priest once who fought it and contained it. Rumour has it he wanders around with a single spiral eye, hn? Fucked up shit.”

The woman sighed, almost huffing while a hand motioned down to what remained of Jack. “Look at him, Lokitan. Half transformed, his brain isn’t fucking in there anymore. Put the thing out of its misery and let the avatar of Life be passed down elsewhere. It’ll rebirth by tomorrow, save your own ass.”

“No.” Lokitan took a moment to grip the skull before him, pinning the dragon further as a small crimson glow overtook his eyes. “He was never meant to hurt anyone, it was her that drove him to this.”

“Yeah, well, she’s pretty fucking dead, now isn’t she?”

A hand waved the antsy woman off, freeing Lokitan to simply focus on the inner workings of the beast before him. It was a rare trick the Rogue had up his sleeve and normally it was used to delve into someone’s memories, to unlock what terrifies them the most to use it against them… But what if, he thought, what if he could use it in reverse?

Time ticked by, allowing the dark, shadowy tendrils of his own essence to seep into Jackary’s form, filtering through and plucking every little bit of the corruption to neatly gather it within. A simple box was made at first, deep inside the dragon’s brain. Soon it was locked away and chained relentlessly to his psyche. A personality that he could never escape from, one that in time, would briefly show a fraction of itself and be referred to as…

Naga.

“M’sorry…” Loki whispered while he worked, remolding and melding Jackary’s very essence and memories to pull him from an otherwise impossible return. It was an attempt to do this or be forced to kill him and Lokitan wasn’t sure he inwardly had the power to do that. “You were designed to never forget.. But if you always remember, there is no saving you from the corruption that has been planted within you.”

Lokitan frowned, rubbing his thumb slowly, sweetly along Jackary’s forehead, the beast had long since stopped trying to fight back. It was lethargic.

“I am taking this from you, Jackary. This thing that turned you into something you aren’t.” Lokitan cooed, almost fondly at his twisted cousin as each memory leading up to a certain event was plucked and stolen away and yet what Lokitan hadn’t realized was that in making such a small hole in Jack’s memory, it served as an endless void. A slow-drip leak that would cause him to forever forget things after a while. A blessing and a curse in the future, but at that moment, when Lokitan gazed down and saw the beginnings of Peridot return to those eyes, he knew it was the best decision he could have made.

---

Darnath quietly clamped the journal closed with a small squeeze to the spine, the entry had been written in a far different font and form which made him think that perhaps Lokitan had written it instead. But... Where the memory that had been stolen was placed was beyond the Dragonsworn.

Stormy grey pools glanced at the snoozing blond curled against his side. Jack, in an elven form, had been cozying up for a small nap while his Knight read, blissfully unaware of what haunting stories Darnath had been refamiliarizing himself with once more. The Champion glanced to the spine of the journal, noting the number upon it, and raised his vision upward. The book he was really looking for must have been the one right before this… Maybe that one held the answer he was looking for.

| - @daily-writing-challenge - |

#DWC2021 #DWC 15 #Jack Facts #A memory long since pased #in the beginning #lokitan #Darnath #Dragonsworn #TW: BLOOD #TW: DISTURBING IMAGES #TW: BODY HORROR

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luvskywalker · 4 years

Text

tis the damn season- peter parker x reader

word count- 3.6k

warnings- mentions of injury, language, insecurity

a/n: the timeline is kinda weird, peter + reader are about 19, but civil war and endgame never happened, the avengers defeated thanos in infinity war, so there is no blip. it kinda makes sense, i explain it a little, but the main focus is the relationship! i hope you all enjoy this one, it took me a while because i didn’t know just how i wanted to bring peter and the reader together. feel free to request something or leave feedback!!💞

god, you had missed new york. especially the cold that always fogged up your window glass and that forced you into wearing socks to sleep like a heathen, and the wind chill that made you want nothing more than a warm drink and a nice movie.

you had missed upstate the most, the clearer and less crowded air, the serenity that can only be found there, and most importantly your family.

it had been a year since you’d left for los angeles, going on a mission to bring down a branch of HYDRA that had been implanted in the golden state itself. the job wasn’t easy, but no one could keep you away from taking it. you missed your family. it put a heartache in you, and it also gave a certain brunette boy one too.

peter parker had liked you since the day he met you. it was his freshman year, and you were in his study hall. you barely even spoke to him, yet he had swiftly become captivated by the perfume you wore, the way you parted your hair, every single quirk that made you who you were. you’d like his posts on instagram or even text him (though that was quite rare, you’d probably texted him once in the four years he’d known you), and he swore his heart bursted every time you did. when he found out you left for california, he couldn’t help the heartache that followed. he spent each day hoping and wishing to every star for your safety, and they were all answered when you pulled up to the avengers compound on a cold december day.

you swiftly pulled the black audi in front of the cabin that was the closest thing to a home you’d get. it was where tony had raised you since he had adopted you, where you came to be a normal family for.. well... whenever you had the time. he knew you were there, he always seemed to know things before they even happened, claiming he had a “sixth sense” though you were sure it was just friday.

you got out of the car with the brightest grin on

your face, noticing his presence on the porch of the home.

“is that my dad or is that a woodland creature? cant seem to tell the difference!”

you were, in every way but blood, his daughter.

he rolled his eyes but you didn’t miss the small smile as he rushed you into the house, and you could tell he was in his mother hen mode.

“what about my bags?”

“get them later, there’s someone i want you to meet.”

you were now curious, who could have him in this much of a rush?

he lead you into the large living room of the home, just for you to see peter parker sitting quite uncomfortably on the couch.

“peter?” you tilted your head to the side, confused as to how your dad knew peter.

guess i missed a lot, you thought.

“wait” your dad paused, looking between you and peter accusingly “how do you two know eachother?”

you knew what he was assuming and peter just looked confused.

“NO not like that, dad” you started frantically, because no you did not know peter like that.

peter joined the conversation suddenly,

“he’s your dad?” he said quietly at the same time you spoke, surprise and confusion evident.

“so how do you two know eachother?”

your dad ended the chaos of the conversation, and peter explained for you.

“we used to go to school together, until she graduated early.”

you nodded along with his quick explanation and your dad let out a sigh of relief.

you had graduated high school three years early, and though you didn’t have many friends, you kept in touch with peter over the years. it baffled you that he never seemed to put the pieces together, i mean (y/n) starr wasn’t exactly the most incognito cover name, and your face was plastered over at least one magazine a week for both your hero persona inferno and your civilian self.

“for a second i was worried.. nevermind.” tony said, waving his hand at the now ridiculous thought.

you knew what he thought and you laughed at his small outburst.

“so why is peter parker here?”

“he’s spider-man.”

oh.

“what? peter parker is spider-man??”

the boy in question looked at you now, offended that you were acting like him being spider-man was the most ridiculous thing you had ever heard.

tony simply rolled his eyes, used to your theatrics because well, you got them from him.

“just told you he was, kid. you’re going to train him as long as you’re over here, the team figured you’re the best suited because of your age.”

great.

you had said peter parker was your friend, and that much was at least sort of true, but you came to new york for a break. you’ve been working nonstop for the better part of a year. however, you brushed off your disappointment because at least you didn’t have to train with natasha.

“sounds good. want to head over there now peter?”

he glanced up from the carpet he seemed to find very interesting.

“yeah, that sounds fine.” he said, nodding quite eagerly.

“see you kids later. glad you’re home, mini me.”

you gave your father one last hug and a smile before taking the bag by the door that you know has most of your gear in.

peter followed you into the audi, marvelling at the interior that you had customized yourself. you were such a stark, peter noted in his head, unbeknownst to you.

“so what are your powers?”

you could feel him look at you, almost confused as to why you were asking. haven’t you heard of spider-man?

“i like to hear coming from you, rather than just assuming.” you said, glancing away from the road just briefly to offer him a smile.

“no one has ever really asked before, they all seem to know already.” he returned your smile, and you felt for him. you knew what it was like- when you had first displayed your powers everyone seemed to know more about you than you yourself did.

“well i’m asking” you said, smile still present, “what can you do, spider-boy?”

you watched him run his hands down the leg of his jeans nervously.

why was he so nervous?

“um,” he started, still fidgeting with the leg of his jeans, “i have super strength, and i can shoot webs out of my hands?”

that much you knew, but it still piqued your interest.

“have you ever tested how strong the webs are?”

his head tilted slightly and he reminded you of a puppy when it did.

“no, but i think they’re pretty strong, i mean i did the thing with the ferry a couple years ago.”

you almost forgot about that. almost.

“what’s your favorite part about all this? it can be a little overwhelming and weird, but it’s still fun most of the time.”

he nodded at that, agreeing with you.

“i don’t know, really. i started out being a friendly neighborhood spider-man, i refused the avengers offer mr. stark gave me, and then the stuff in space happened and now i’m here.”

you nodded along with his explanation.

“i’m so glad i was in wakanda instead of up there.”

you had been allowed to visit wakanda on both an invite from king t’challa and stark industries business, and during your extended stay you also had to defeat an ugly and angry grape guy.

“wait, you went to wakanda? what was it like?” his nervousness was slowly fading away as you got him to open up a little more.

you spent the rest of the drive to the facility geeking out about wakandan technology and the things shuri has created.

you parked in your personal spot, making a note that steve’s car was parked in his own spot, meaning both he and bucky were here, and nat’s motorcycle was here as well.

“looks like you’ll get to meet some of the team too!” you said, eager to say hi to natasha and america’s favorite duo.

“as long as they’re as nice as you i’ll be fine.” he told you with a smile that you thought shone brighter than the sun and you ignored the way your heart fluttered at the comment.

you lead him into the facility, running into steve and bucky along the way, introducing the three, and after the introduction the fossils adopted the nickname queens for peter.

“they’re so boring.” you spoke, fighting to suppress a smile. you didn’t actually think that, you were really close to steve and bucky, you just liked to make fun of them.

he looked at you questioningly.

“do you not like them?”

he then noticed you trying not to laugh and realized you were only joking.

you showed peter around the facility, as well as showing him everyone’s rooms, stopping outside each door for him to see without invading the privacy of your fellow avengers.

natasha strutted out of her room down the hall, like the drama queen she is.

“hey kid, welcome back sparkles.” she sent you a smirk, and then walked by just as quickly as she came.

you turned to look at peter.

“hi natasha” you said, rolling your eyes at her nickname of choice.

“why did she call you sparkles?” he asked through a small laugh. he didn’t know? it was kind of obvious.

“i’ll show you later, let me show you my room!”

you loved your room in the facility, and you grabbed peter’s hand to eagerly lead him down the hall to your room.

it was then that both you and peter decided you both liked the feeling you got when you had grabbed his hand.

you showed him into your room and he looked around curiously.

“you have a cat?”

the little white cat sat atop a plethora of pillows at the top of your bed and blinked at you.

“no, that’s bucky’s little monster, alpine. she’s not supposed to be in here.”

peter just smiled at the cat, stroking her fur softly.

“i like your room, it’s super ni-“ he cut himself off, “hey is that a star wars poster?”

you could feel yourself flush with the warmth of embarrassment.

“the empire strikes back is my favorite movie!”

you breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t going to make fun of you.

“it’s mine too!” you said, a big smile on your face. “the poster is signed!”

you both shared your excitement at your signed empire strikes back poster, and you even offered to get him one.

“i could never accept that, (y/n).” he said, shaking his head.

“good thing i’m not giving you a choice” you replied, smirking at him.

and that was the kickstart of an even closer friendship with you and the brunette hero.

you bounced back from los angeles and new york quite frequently the past eleven months. because of your success with the HYDRA mission given by SHIELD, and wanted you in their west coast division more often. you went away to california at least twice a month.

now, however, you sat in a nice apartment in queens, a popcorn bag popping between the warmth of your hands. you still remember the day peter found out about your powers.

“look.” you had said, and then your finger lit up, just like a candle.

“how did you do that?” he asked you, not even considering the fact that those were your powers.

“i can set things on fire, with my mind and with...” you paused, and then your whole hand started to glow red. “myself.”

“like a super-arsonist?”

“i mean, i guess you could say that.”

“wait! you’re inferno???”

when the popcorn was done popping, you passed it to peter before getting up from the couch quickly. peter grasped your forearm and you thought your heart would bust out of your chest because of the contact.

“what’s up?” he asked with a small head tilt and a furrow of his brow.

“i just have to go get something, pete” you reassured him with a smile, before walking over to his room to get your bag, trying to calm yourself down because he could probably hear your heart pounding.

inside was a tiny little cylindrical package wrapped in paper with your superhero self all over it.

you grabbed the mini item and sized it back up using a disc you’d borrowed from scott. you took a deep breath before walking back to the living area and your movie.

“merry christmas peter!” you said, a huge smile on your face.

“what is this?” he was surprised, you could tell.

“open it!!” you slid back onto the couch next to him and handed him the wrapped box.

when your hand touched his, peter willed himself to relax because you’re his best friend but also you’re so pretty and you smell like literally everything nice ever created in the universe. he snapped himself out of it, blushing a little at his inner monologue before grabbing the gifts from you.

“you know christmas isn’t for two weeks right?” you could hear the nervousness in his voice and you wondered why. why was he so nervous?

“tis the damn season, i say.” you said with an over the top arm swing, he just rolled his eyes at your antics.

“just open it already, before i” you raised your voice now, because may was in her room down the hall, “tell may about the time you-“

“okay i’ll open it!” he rushed out, covering your mouth with his hand before you could finish because he did not need aunt may knowing about that.

your chest heaved a little at the touch, and his hand was pulled away quickly. you noticed his face flush red and his breathing become a little quick, but brushed it off as him being worried you’d tell may.

“i like the wrapping paper by the way.” he commented, giving you a smirk that made your body swarm with butterflies.

when he opened it, an empire strikes back poster was revealed, complete with signatures from all the actors.

you saw his face light up and his mouth part in shock, and you’d give the world to see him that happy every single day.

but you didn’t need to, because for peter, just having you was all he needed.

“no way” he gasped, shaking his head a little with a smile of disbelief on his face.

“(y/n), you didn’t!”

you just smiled. it was then that peter swept you up into his arms, giving you a hug that made both of your hearts race.

but, good moments never last forever.

the next day, you were sent to athens on a mission with natasha and steve, one that might not let you be back for christmas.

you had completed the mission in time, done the day before christmas eve, but that doesn’t mean you finished it well.

it went messy, and both you and natasha sported a few gashes, but steve took the worst of it, always the gentleman. it also took a toll on you, being gone for two weeks was nothing abnormal, but it was what was said over those weeks that bothered you.

“oh little stark, you’ll never be their real family. you aren’t even a real avenger!”

it wasn’t true. you were one of the more original avengers, being taken on the team despite your dads worries, and you were their real family. but it still hurt you, it still stuck with you, replaying over and over in your mind as you tried not to let the words tear you apart.

you flew the quinjet the fastest it’s ever been flown, and debriefed with fury at SHIELD, letting steve and natasha go to the lab for some patching up.

when you got back to the compound, peter was the first person you saw. you walked over to him, and he brought you into his arms. it made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, something you needed after the mission.

peter could see how down you looked and he hated it, so did all he knew how to do.

he held onto you tight, not saying anything to you, just providing the support you needed.

you knew the insecurities you had were a little silly, but you also knew that it was okay to feel like this, because even the strongest avengers have bad days. it made you feel more human, even though it also made you feel a little sad.

peter brought you comfort in this moment, whispering things that made your heart soar even if you knew they were just him being a good friend.

“you’re the best friend i could ever ask for.”

you smiled into his chest, and pulled yourself away, albeit reluctantly, from his hold.

“thanks peter” you said, more soothed now.

“i needed that. you really are an amazing person.”

he put his arm around your shoulders, giving you a little side hug.

“only for you.” he said, giving you a wink, one that you rolled your eyes at.

the day flew by, as it always seems to after a mission. the three of you sent off healed up quickly, just in time for the gift exchange you always forced everyone into on christmas eve.

after the exchange, you took your newly keychain-filled keys (thanks to nat, clint, sam, and bucky) and drove home. peter had left early, hitching a ride from your dad, which was a little odd to you but you brushed it off.

when you got home, all you saw was pepper on the couch with an excited smile on her face and a wave in greeting, and then you heard tony but lost your sight due to a black cloth being wrapped around your eyes.

“mom, what is he doing to me?”

you heard her laugh at your comment.

“just let him lead you, honey.”

you wished she and tony could see you roll your eyes.

he guided you up the stairs, telling you when to step so you wouldn’t fall, and you were quickly ushered into your room.

“why do i need this thing anyway?” you inquired, but the question was dropped when you felt someone new untie the blindfold.

peter.

you blinked your eyes a couple times, adjusting again to the environment of the room.

“is peter supposed to be a surprise? should i act surprised?”

the situation was a little confusing, no one was surprising you with a gift; tony and pep always waited until christmas, and you and peter exchanged gifts at the compound.

so what was going on?

“peter is not the surprise.”

and with that, tony left the room. if your back wasn’t to him you would’ve saw him wink at peter, but you did see peter’s face start to flush.

weird, because tony never left the room for surprises. little did you know, tony has been desperately waiting for one of you to make a move on the other after watching you pine within your friendship, and when peter mentioned giving you a necklace and confessing his feelings he nearly jumped for joy.

“i’m not the surprise, but i have a surprise for you.”

he looked a little nervous, compared to his usual comfort around you, and his hands started to fidget with his pockets.

“what is it?” you questioned, looking up at him and realizing suddenly that he was really close, which made your heart start to beat a little faster.

you saw him reach into his pocket and suck in a breath.

“titanic was the first movie you watched with me, i remember you insisted on it because it was your favorite at the time,”

you were a little confused, so you just nodded, albeit a little dumbly.

“i also remember how you said you’d kill for a necklace like the one rose wore, and you talked about the history of what it was modeled after for a good ten minutes”

you laughed, but you didn’t know what he was leading up to.

“and i knew that you could talk to me about anything, for however long you’d want, and i’d listen, because i got to see that look on your face when you were excited about something”

he was smiling at you as he reached into his pocket.

“peter parker i swear to god if you pull out a replica of that necklace i will kill you. or kiss you. or both.”

he laughed, and held out the palm of his hand, which lie a necklace that looked exactly like the blue hope diamond, and your mouth parted in shock.

“holy shit.”

“i, uh, wanted to give you something special, to show how special you are to me.”

you felt your eyes well up with tears at his words, and you smiled as he clasped the necklace around your neck.

recalling your words from moments ago, you took in a breath for confidence.

“i think i owe you a kiss.” you said, still smiling.

“as long as you don’t kill me after.”

and with that you pressed your lips against his, feeling your body ignite but not like when you were using your powers. this was a warmth in your heart.

peter kissed you and he swore it was the happiest moment of your life.

you kissed him with everything you had, bringing your hands around his neck.

it was like you fit together perfectly, and one would even say two hearts became one in that moment, but for you that was far too cliche.

you separated reluctantly, and you both smiled at each other. the smile you shared was worth a million words.

“tis the damn season, i guess.” you heard tony and pepper giggle like children outside the door that was half open, and the four of you laughed.

—

“peter, how did you even afford that necklace?”

he looked at you with a cheeky grin.

“turns out inferno is celine dion’s favorite superhero.”

your jaw dropped.

“kid, you’ll catch flies.”

“thanks for the warning dad.”

#marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel #spiderman #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #tony stark is a good dad #x reader #imagine #peter parker #peter is adorable #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #i am very proud of this.#taylor swift #tis the damn season #christmas feels even thought it’s march

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daily-dose-of-imagines · 4 years

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ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ɴᴏᴛ | ᴋᴀɪ ᴄʜɪꜱᴀᴋɪ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱʜᴏᴛ

Y’all thought it was oVER? lolol Blame Admin T--- I asked her who I should write for BNHA and she said this SO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As always, thank you all so much for the love and support for this blog~! I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did with writing it~!

I do apologize if I don’t capture his character the best ;;”

I won’t lie, I was listening to Might U as I was writing this.

» » Admin Ko

Tedious. At least, that’s what it should’ve been. Yet instead of feeling the normal bouts of irritation at the lack of control he had over the situation at hand, he felt...unnerved. The imaginary seed that was implanted in his stomach all those months ago seemed to only gain in mass.

“...Who are you?”

He shouldn’t have allowed himself to grow these...feelings. Not only did he feel contaminated and utterly sick to his stomach, but the strange ache in his chest did nothing to help soothe his frazzled nerves as those curious yet dim (e/c) hues peered into his sorrowful golden ones.

“...My name is Chisaki Kai...”

“Oh! Hello Chisaki.”

A bout of coughing and another grimace as the pain in his chest amplified tenfold at the horrifying sound. It disgusted him. It truly did, yet instead of feeling the need to get away, he wanted to get closer to her. To comfort her-- hell to shake some common sense into her. Even if it meant he would break out, he just had to do something.

“I...apologize if this seems rude...”

“What is it?”

“...what happened to your arms?”

“...I lost them because I was careless. This...I suppose, is my punishment.”

Her curious stare continued to wash over him as he felt the prickle of goosebumps rise on his shoulders. Turning away, he kept his gaze on the vacant wall of the hospital ward. This was torturous. She was torturous.

Yet still she managed to worm her way into his heart, and he didn’t know whether or not if he wanted to ask for cardiac surgery or to embrace this newfound emotion.

All he really knew was that if he had only been smarter-- hell maybe even faster at coming up with the quirk-destroying drug he could’ve prevented this. He could’ve gotten rid of the parasite that lurked in her veins.

➽───────────────❥

6 Months Ago

“Patient name: (y/n) (l/n). Quirk: Amnesiac.”

Trudging down the corridor, the man once known as Overhaul, walked in step alongside his parole officer / attending doctor. It hadn’t been too long since his arrest and...amputation. In all honesty, he wondered why he was being granted this rare privilege.

An assistant for a patient. That’s all they had told him. Of course Kai had to scoff. How on earth was he supposed to help? With the lack of usable limbs and knowledge limited to that of basic medical needs he didn’t really find a real necessity in this patient’s apparent ‘recovery’.

“...Amnesiac?”

“As it’s name implies, it’s a quirk that deals the user amnesia--- yet in our patient’s case it not only forces her to lose her memories, but practically breaks down her body’s physical state.”

“...In simpler terms?”

“In short every time she loses her memory her body deteriorates along with it. It’s as if her body is, in a sense...rewinding itself forward to make up for the fact that she lost those memories.”

A grimace. If he could, he would’ve spat out that he had been right in his assumption that quirks were just an infestation to the world, this patient clearly being a poor victim of it.

“...And what is my purpose of ‘assisting’ you?”

“As far as I’m aware, you’re pretty damn heartless and selfish. So it should be easy for you to not catch feelings for her whilst being a constant in her life right?”

“A...constant.”

“Yeah, just someone who she sees everyday until well...”

“She passes.”

“I mean...yeah. Damn you really are heartless.”

“Tch. This is a waste of my time is what this is.”

“Hey, you’re helping me whether you want to or not man. It’s just a visit everyday for like, an hour or two at most.”

Another grimace was given as Kai felt a shiver run down his spine. Despite the place he would be in was a hospital, it still brought the ex-yakuza boss a sense of dread. Especially with the amount of infested bodies that littered the place.

“...how long?”

“Holy shit dude, I get that you don’t want to do this but seriously---”

“How long until she loses her memory you dumbass.”

“..Oh. Well, from what we gather they can last from a day, to a couple of months. Though the longer she stays in a...well, let’s call it a session, the more it harms her body.”

“So say she forgets me tomorrow.”

“Then her body moves forward a day.”

“....After a month?”

“She lurches forward a month.”

“Thus leading to a quick progression in her deteriorating health.”

“...Exactly.”

It was, to say the least, unsettling to hear. Never had he heard of such a sickening twist for a quirk. No matter, the deal was simple. If he was lucky, this would last a year-- as fucked up as it sounded, the sooner she passed the less she would suffer in the long run.

As they neared the door, the clear unease that settled on his features was one that his parole doctor could see from a mile away.

“Chill dude, it’ll be fine.”

With that, the door cracked open, and there seated quietly whilst reading a book was a woman. By any standards she was normal, average, easy on the eyes with a slight fae-like feel. Though really it was most likely the early evening glow that cascaded into her room the moment they entered.

All Kai really knew was that it was the moment when gold met glittering (e/c) hues that a seed lodged it’s way into his stomach.

➽───────────────❥

It had started off easy-- well in Kai’s opinion it had. Every other day seemed to be a new start to the ritual that was re-introducing himself to her and making small talk.

In all honesty, he wouldn’t admit it, but the simplicity of being able to have a normal conversation with someone brought a sense of peace in him. Of course this didn’t mean his usual snark and calculating ways-- or so he says.

For Kai, this change in routine was oddly enough, welcomed. With everything he had gone and the collogues he had imprisoned god knows where, the opportunity to engage in small talk was to say the least, enlightening. It had surprised him. As someone who sought out tactical moves in reading his opponents, he found himself at ease with the simplicity of where he was at.

Granted it was albeit dull in comparison to the interrogations he goes through, it was still a part of his routine that he refused to change. Not when he’s been so invested in it.

That changes when the day he enters her room to find that instead of having to reintroduce himself to her, she remembers him. She flashes him a gentle smile with an endearing, “How are you?” and that in itself has the former yakuza leader lose his breath as he can only comically blink at her before forcing himself to adjust to this strange change.

No later did another change occur that brought a wave of new emotions in him. She had touched him. A caress to his cheek, and unsurprisingly in that moment he broke out in hives. His sight blurring as panic shot through his system at the abundance of thoughts that struck his head as the irritation from the hives had him reeling away from her.

He didn’t see her distressed face. Nor did he see the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she desperately sought out someone to help him. Instead, he awoke to his room laying down with his hives treated.

He felt violated. Disgusted, yet still. Even with that he found himself at her door a week later. Prepared to start a new with her and a possible replay of what had happened a week prior. Instead, he found her bowed deeply at the waist as she tightly clutched at the thin fabric of her hospital gown.

“I’m so sorry Chisaki! I didn’t know...I deeply apologize for what had happened!”

“...You...remembered?”

“Of course! You’re someone I can never forget.”

The pit in his stomach grew tenfold as his feet began to walk towards the awaiting lounge chair. Golden hues met truthful (e/c) ones as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat before once again bowing.

“I really am sorry...I shouldn’t have reached out to you like that...”

“...just be more aware next time.”

And like that, the pit in his stomach continued to grow. With each passing day she retained her memories, the more the pit swelled in size, and the more she began to work her way into his heart.

➽───────────────❥

Present Day

He didn’t know why he felt an overwhelming pressure in his gut. The lack of food he ate was odd enough, but to actively avoid something out of his daily routine? It was unheard of. He even made that stupid request to ask his parole doctor to grab (y/n) that stupid drink she liked.

Mentally shaking his head, Kai lightly tapped his shoe against the door before sliding it open.

The sight bestowed upon him though was one that could’ve brought him to his knees as the pang in his chest seemed to duly ache as he dragged his feet into the room.

“...(y/n)?”

It was quiet. The warm beams of the spring sun settled on her pale features as dim (e/c) orbs glimmered at the sight of him. He should’ve seen this coming. Especially after she had remembered him the day it set everything out of pattern. Instead, he turned a blind eye. Out of pure ignorance? He wasn’t remotely sure anymore. All he knew was that she shouldn’t be like this.

She should be her stupid lively self, cracking jokes and sharing her stupid stories with him. Not laying there like a corpse.

“Ah...Chi-- Kai, sorry you caught me waking up from a nap. I’m sorry I don’t look more presentable...”

“Nonsense. Now, tell me what you’ve done today.”

“Straight to the point huh? Sometimes I wonder how you’d ever date anyone.”

Though weak, the teasing tone she held in her voice was one that added more weight to his chest as he seated himself in what she declared the ‘(y/n)’s best friend’s chair’. A stupid name if you asked him, but he wouldn’t tell her that.

And like that, she spoke of her day, simple tasks and duties she’s done during her stay at the hospital while Kai listened to her as the best friend she claimed he was.

As for the new name basis, Kai couldn’t tell anyone when it picked up. All he knew was that it didn’t piss him off as much as it should’ve.

As the time neared for him to leave, she stopped him. A look of hesitance on her face as irritation seemed to grow on his own.

“What is it?”

“....Can I hold your face?”

“What?!”

“With gloves on!”

The statement caught him by surprise. Already he felt the disgusting voices in the back of his head whisper at him yet instead of acting on those voices he found himself mutely staring at her as she fumbled over her words.

All he could really pick out was the light blush that was on her cheeks. The spark of color that brought his feet towards her bedside as she stared up at him with shock in those (e/c) eyes.

“Tch. What are you waiting for?”

Caught off guard, she could only stare at him for a moment before giddily shifting herself to get off the bed. A noise of distaste left his throat at her motion as she merely rolled her eyes and shushed him as she went to fervently clean her hands before snapping on the gloves.

Yet as she did this he couldn’t help but feel the ache in his chest grow even more at the sight of her frail hands and the subtle appearance of a bruise around her wrist at her careless motion of snapping the gloves on. This was immediately forgone as she walked up to him, mindful to keep a distance before she hesitantly held her hands out in a flower cup motion.

At first, Kai had no idea what she was doing, but as he grew to analyze the situation-- as well as remember the odd videos and photos she decided to show him as she sought a sort of relationship herself-- he carefully put his chin into her hands. The hesitancy of her fingers brushing his cheeks pulled a new sort of fondness in his chest as he finally relaxed his cheek against her shy hand.

Golden eyes peered deeply into glimmering (e/c) as he watched her face light up with the most color he had see on her that day. Satisfied, he waited until she finally let go.

“...Thank you, Kai.”

“No problem.”

“No really...thank you...for everything.”

Unease quickly overtook the fondness in his heart as he straightened himself out. Confusion was clearly matted onto his features as he stared down at her.

“...Why are you saying that?”

“What? I can’t say what I want for once? You let me all the time so just let me say this too!”

Finding the whole situation uncomfortable, Kai made his way to the door once more. Though before he left he motioned with his head for her to get back into bed. In response, he got her usual snark as she stuck her tongue out before carefully getting back into bed.

“If you’re on good behavior tomorrow, I’ll have your doctor bring you that drink of yours.”

The light in her eyes was enough to satisfy him and his worries as she nodded quickly before giving him a mock salute as she excitedly got herself comfy in the bed.

“Alright, you promised Kai~!”

➽───────────────❥

“Who are you?”

It should’ve have hurt him as much as it did, but after 6 fucking months. 6 months of her being a daily part of his life where she did not forget him for a single moment came crashing down. The tremble that clutched tightly to his words as he re-introduced himself went unnoticed as he slowly made his way towards the lounge chair that was once considered to be (y/n)’s best friend’s chair.

“...My name is Chisaki Kai.”

“Oh! Hello Chisaki.”

He could tell she was straining with keeping up a happy front. Her appearance was frail. So delicate that he feared anyone who touched her would be the cause of her disappearing before his eyes. The drink he had requested for her sat innocently on the bedside table as she gave him a reassuring smile.

“It’s going to be okay...”

“...what?”

“You look...distressed, I wanted to just reassure you things will be okay.”

No they won’t. He wanted to scream it at her, that the rasp in her voice was punching holes into his gut. That the frail breathing she had was worse than his quirk being taken away from him.

And in that moment, they stayed in silence. Merely watching one another with mixed emotions before he broke back into the routine he once thought would be meaningless.

“...What did you do today?”

Her words, though slow, told him of a peaceful day. One with little adventures and many simple moments that he’s come to slowly appreciate in his own life.

Though as the hour of his leave came, he found it hard to get up from the chair. His feet staying practically cemented to the floor as he watched her peer out the window as the warm rays of the early evening sun cascaded over her. Much like it had that day he first saw her.

Forcefully pushing himself up from the chair, he made his way towards the door. Yet each step he took towards it the more the aching feeling in his chest grew as the fear of his last day in that room came to it’s due date.

“...Kai? Can you turn around for me...just once?”

The words caught him completely off guard as he turned to face her. Those eyes no longer were filed with guarded walls. Instead he was met with the face of (y/n). The woman he came to slowly adore within the past 6 months.

He didn’t even think. Instead he surged forward, practically bruising his legs at the force he decided to stop himself with. Though he didn’t care. The bruises be damned, she remembered him.

“...Can I hold your face? One more time? I promise I won’t ask again. I’ll even wear gloves!”

“...No need.”

The aching in his chest grew tenfold as he found it hard to speak. The overwhelming emotions that sat in his chest were ready to burst out of him. Though he wasn’t sure how. Instead he bent down slightly, finding her confused face even more endearing before he rolled his eyes.

“Well?”

“B-But...the hives---”

“I don’t care. Hurry the fuck up.”

Like that, the confusion vanished as she gently put her hands together in that familiar flower cup motion. Worry was clearly evident in her eyes as she looked at him, but before she could even question again he placed his chin into her awaiting hands. Already the prickly sensation of the hives began to pool as he could feel them form across his skin.

“K-Kai--”

“It’s fine. Shut up. You said you won’t ask again.”

“T-That’s true...”

“Tch. You can make it up to me by getting better so I can show you the world.”

“...when you’re not in prison anymore, right?”

“Right...”

It was hard to speak now. The lump that once was in his stomach had traveled to his throat as he watched her warm (e/c) glisten with unshed tears as she gently caressed his cheeks, ever so mindful of his hives as she tried to at least move her hands. Instead, the male pressed himself further into her touch as the tears began to fall. If anyone noticed the strain in his voice, they didn’t mention it.

“...If you’re gonna be greedy that do what you’ve been wanting to do you romantic obsessed moron.”

With that, she shifted forward before pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead as the tears came down harder. The lump in his throat making it almost unbearable to talk.

“...Thank you Kai...thank you so much for these six months...”

“.....”

“Don’t forget me...okay?”

“Idiot...as if I could even forget the one dumbass that made me breakout after my imprisonment.”

A weak laugh was given as she finally pulled away. With her eyes rimmed red, she shifted to make a call for a nurse, though that was cut short as Kai surprisingly climbed into her bed. No words were exchanged as she reluctantly shifted herself down into the bed-- though it did take time, she managed to curl herself in a way where she left distance between them.

“...aren’t you supposed to go?”

Featherlike and faint, he strained to hear her as he shifted himself down to properly face her as he melted in her (e/c) gaze. The slow dimming of life in her eyes was enough to tell him that it was time. However, he refused to believe it. If anything he’d find her awake the next day with that silly smile on her face. Yet even as he thought about this, the tears that he once thought were impossible for him, slowly began to stream down his cheeks as he nestled himself closer to her.

“....one day won’t kill them.”

“...mmm...”

“....go to sleep angel, I’ll be right here...”

“...and...you’ll be next to me?”

“...always.”

➽───────────────❥

Patient Name: (y/n) (l/n) Chisaki Quirk: Amnesiac

Time of Death: 6:05PM

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #overhaul x reader #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #chisaki x reader #mha scenarios #bnha scenarios #mha imagines #bnha imagines #chisaki angst #we about to drop more angst in this bish #i know i should be working on wips and requests but i can't help it ksksksk

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