#to convince myself to continue. i mean. i Will continue. i don’t dislike any of ms charles’s work that i’ve read

[chickentenderx]

too late (William Turner x reader)

570 word count

reader was Will’s best friend since childhood, they grew up with him and watched him fall in love with Elizabeth. They of course also loved him. They went on pirate crusades together, eventually reader left bc they couldn’t deal with it anymore and distance helped the pain. eventually they moved on, got married, had kids. Will comes back after a couple years to find them after he realized his feelings once Elizabeth married the commodore. He tries to convince reader to come away with him but realizes it’s too late for them.

prompt:

unrequited love from a childhood friend, distance, the other realizing their feelings too late

-“I just came to see how you were doing” “and now it’s time for you to leave”

-“I’ll always need you, I love you” “it’s too late”

warnings: ANGST, no uses of y/n, reader is called mama and wears a skirt, la la land esk ending. This feels very rushed and I wrote it with a migraine so leave me alone if it absolutely sucks

“Will?” the man I once knew all those years ago, the man I once loved, is walking towards me through the mist. For a moment I think it’s just my eyes playing tricks.

“surprised to see me?” he stands at his full height, he’s tanned over the years. His face has matured but still has his boyish charm. Donning pirate attire, he holds an aura of confidence he much lacked in his younger years.

“what are you doing here?” disdain evident in my voice although not intentional.

Although taken aback by my curtness, he continues, “I just came to see how you were doing” I can’t help but notice the hopeful glint in his eyes, the strain in his voice as if he’s trying to find the right words.

“and now it’s time for you to leave” I’m not sure where my sudden irritation came from, perhaps it was the years of waiting, the years of wanting and nothing being returned.

Laughing dryly he quirks his brow as a silent question. “what do you mean? I just got here”

“why are you here Will?” his hopeful expression falls, replaced with something I can’t quite place.

“come away with me, like you did once before,” grabbing my hands he pulls me closer to him. “I need you” Pulling away I take a step away from him and let out a strained laugh. His dislike of my reaction clear on his face.

“no you don’t, you’ve never needed me.” Searching his face I try to find any indication of where he’s going with this.

“I’ll always need you, I love you” oh how long my heart had ached for those words. He tries to step closer but for every step closer he takes, I take a step back. I put my hand up between us to stop him.

The ache in my chest starts to burn with feelings I buried many years ago. “you don’t mean that, and anyways it’s too late now”

“no it’s not, just run away with me. Travel with me, live on the sea” the eagerness in his eyes almost makes me want to but…

“Will…” I’m cut off when his eyes flicker over to my home behind me. The sound of small feet pattering on stone comes close till my son comes up hiding behind my skirt looking at Will skeptically,

“who’s that mama?” the small voice of my young son cuts through the silence between us. Turning to his slightly I whisper with a bittersweet smile,

“no one sweetie, go on back inside.” Gently I pull my son from my leg while gesturing towards our house. “I’ll be there in a minute”

“I- I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I’ll go” before he can turn away I take his hands in mine, still rough from those years of blacksmithing and life at sea,

“a part of my heart will always belong to you, and it always has. But I’ve made a life for myself here, one day I hope the same for you” I can’t bring myself to look into his teary eyes so slowly I bring his knuckles to my mouth, kissing them gently before letting him go. He turns his back and only then do I lift my head up. That was the last time I’d see William Turner, walking away into the morning fog. Only a single tear fell upon the sand that day.

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @lapsthings

Your match is...

— Seishiro Nagi

✦ (Yes, A Clockwork Orange is my favorite movie. I read the book too and, in French, they did a wonderful translation. Burgess invented a language inspired by Russian, and it's very impactful. There's some words that I still remember even though it's been almost 7 years since I read the book.) (I could speak of this masterpiece for hours! I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed your reading.) (Did you know that it's also Shidou's favorite movie?)

✦ (ANYWAY.)

✦ I had this sleepy genius boy in mind all along while reading your bio, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to match him with you.

✦ At the same time, how could I not? He appears way too many times in your words for me not to think of him.

✦ But I kept asking myself: "If I pair her with Nagi, she'll never go out again."

✦ "Is this really what we want, Suo?"

✦ Heh, I don't make the rules.

✦ Or, maybe I do.

✦ Well, welcome to your best sleeping partner, I guess.

✦ I think as long as he's with someone who's not boring or too loud, he's cool.

✦ Nagi... is always cool.

✦ "I don’t have any siblings." You're like his twin sister, lost somewhere before the start of the show, you know? Nagi's the brother you wish you had, somehow.

✦ "Whenever I go to a convention or an anime store, I spend a good 30 minutes deciding which figure to buy, but since I’m indecisive, I end up getting both of them. I also buy or help pay for my friends more often than not, so I’m always broke. They even came up with a motto: 'Buy now, regret later.'" You know the best thing I find in this description is the fact that you're actually going out. Even Nagi struggles with that.

✦ Good point: you convince him to put his shoes on since he might be interested in the merchandise you buy.

✦ I can see some lazy dates outside, mainly for playing at the arcades or buying trinkets and anime goodies. From the outside, you two look like brother and sister.

✦ That's the core of your relationship, a bit.

✦ I can't see Nagi in any relationship, but I can totally picture him always calling the same person to do non-boring activities. It's normally Reo's role, but Reo isn't always around.

✦ And Reo hasn't always been in Nagi's life.

✦ "I struggle to continue conversations, so I’d say I’m not that good at talking either. I may come across as indifferent or uninterested, which is why I also kind of struggle to make friends." Nagi looks uninterested, and most of the time, he is.

✦ "When giving opinions, I try to be honest, though I do sugarcoat it sometimes." Here, Nagi doesn't.

✦ In fact, the two of you remind me of two baby pandas, a bit lost, always in their beds.

✦ But you are very similar and at the same time, very different. Like black and white merging.

✦ The possibility that you met each other in an online game is huge, I won't lie.

✦ "Dislike: lack/bad communication." This is the biggest pet peeve with Nagi—the lack of communication. This is what led him and Reo to separate, with Reo thinking Nagi had abandoned their dream while Nagi was actually doing his best to reach their common goal.

✦ You can't expect anything from Nagi, but he may expect some things from you.

✦ Yes, that's unfair.

✦ Yes, that's Nagi.

✦ Yes, I chose this match.

✦ (Hahahahaha)

✦ (I regret nothing.)

✦ He never forces you to do anything, though. You're still free to go, doing your own thing while he does his.

✦ In my opinion, the best balance someone can have with Nagi is to play with him occasionally and then say, "Bye bye, see you next time."

✦ Nagi's like his cactus, Choki, after all. Never feed him too much, or he'll die.

✦ You know what I mean since you have YOU'VE HAD your own Choki too.

✦ He finds it cool that you can play instruments.

✦ He also "gently" asks you to play in another room because you make too much noise.

✦ The moments when Nagi is the sweetest are when he wants to try a new game but doesn't want to play alone. Reo isn't interested, so Nagi calls you instead.

✦ I can totally hear him calling you "buddy" or "man."

✦ He reads mangas on his phone too. I think he's the best at knowing the top websites to read tons of scans, so when your favorite site is taken down, Nagi sends you a copy-paste list on Discord.

✦ You two are totally the type to live under the same roof but communicate with each other via texts or weird, unfinished voice messages. It's too boring to speak out loud to someone who's in the room next door.

✦ "Giving: Acts of Service, Gift giving." Let's be honest, he's totally in sync with your love languages.

✦ Always asking you to carry him from one room to another.

✦ He's surprisingly not that heavy.

✦ But 190 cm doesn't lie.

✦ Long silences may occur between you. From the outside, people might even think the house is empty.

✦ The best part about that? You love these moments where no one is talking. You feel comfortable because this is how you like being around others.

✦ So he treasures the fact that you don't talk too much.

✦ Sometimes you forget that you're not alone in the house.

✦ It may give you a fright when you hear a door open.

✦ Or when it's 3am, you're in your pajamas, nose buried in your phone, and you go downstairs only to bump into each other.

✦ "Oh my god. You were there all along???"

✦ "Yeah. You too?"

✦ Actually, it's like you're sharing a flat.

A word about your match: When I read a Nagi-like bio, I usually think of pairing with an opposite character to create a balanced relationship. But your words and facts convinced me to go all the way and choose the laziest soccer player the world has ever seen.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[polyamorousmood]

Hey there, both myself and my friend/love are polyam and I’ve been having some difficulty with one particular aspect of things. My love is very big on community (which I love about them) and like to have all of their loves (myself included) know/get along with each other. The thing is that it often comes off as a “you have to be friends with and care about all of these people”. I’ve discussed it with them on numerous occasions and they’ve basically said that they need everyone to care about and support each other. If that’s not something I can do then I’ll either be less likely to have any time with them or just won’t be welcome in their life. I take great issue with feeling like I’m being forced to be friends/care about people that I don’t think I would really be around/bother with if it wasn’t for our shared love of the one person. I find that a lot of the care that these other people try to extend to me comes off as disingenuous and forced. I’m not entirely sure what to do about things. I’ve been friends with my love for over three years (longer than any of the other people in their life) and I don’t wish to lose them over this.

I've rewritten this a couple times now. I have mixed feelings and I'm having a hard time making them coherent, so bear with me.

Because. Even if it is unfair, do you really expect to change your love's mind on this one? Do you really want to argue to your love that you never want to see all the people they love?

Even if you do convince them they shouldn't ask that of you, how do you expect them to feel about all that? How do YOU think you'll feel about it? What is your partner supposed to tell your metamours after all this time of having them be friends, and suddenly apparently that's negotiable?

I'm not siding with your partner here. Its a complicated issue and I see both sides! Their love for you shouldn't be contingent on your love (platonic) for someone else! That's weird! You can't force a friendship if you genuinely dislike these people anyway, so what do they want you to do, fake it?

But they want a life full of connections, they want the people they care about to get along. That doesn't sound so evil! I think part of it is even pragmatism, in that if you don't get along, you love has to divide their life 3 or 4 or however many different ways, which sounds exhausting and unsatisfying! For everyone! Its basically the same thing as wanting your partner to get along with your family, anyway, right?

So like. Every path I can conceive of for you to tread here:

You can ask for minimums. Maybe they're really only wanting "oh my gosh its your birthday, happy birthday!!" and not "I planned you a surprise party for your birthday!". Maybe you can work out something. Ask specifics about what the minimal acceptable threshold is for your partner.

You can turn him down wholesale. You're not going to be friends with them and they can't make you! You already know what this means.

If your biggest problem really is it feeling forced, you can try to push through that awkward phase. Pick a favorite metamour and schedule a hangout. Bond with them. Be genuine friends with at least a couple so it seems more natural. You both love the same person, so you already have something in common! I'm sure you could find more. Have you given it an honest go?

You can continue to suffer through it without changing anything, I guess.

Or I mean, you could call your partner a coercive asshole and break up with them in dramatic fashion. It'd be cathartic, at least, I suppose. Not very nice though.

There's always the "just be friends" option

You can pick the one that sounds best to you. No judgement if you can't handle befriending your metamours. No judgement to your love if they can't manage having you hate the other most important people in their life.🤷

[wildernessuntothemselves]

You make a really interesting point actually.

I’ve always been aware that not every member was going to be equally talented in certain categories and sometimes they weren’t even that talented and were added just for their looks (which I don’t believe is right considering the overwhelming amount of talented people that could’ve been in their place, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them any less). But I feel like I saw people always being kinda mean about it so I tried to defend them and sometimes try and delude myself into believing they had more talent than they really did. I just wanted to be more positive if I’m being honest, but hindsight is 20/20 and I’ve realized that them being mean wasn’t always the case, they were just stating the facts lol. I’ve also grown since then. Idols like that still exist and I don’t hate on them for it. But I also don’t try and convince myself or anyone else that they’re something they’re not. I have hopes that they’ll continue to improve though!

As for demanding equal lines, I admit that I am one of those people, or I at least just complain about it to myself or my friends. But I’ve recently realized that more often than not, it’s for a good reason. They might not get many lines in singing or rap, but they can be a stellar dancer and show their talent through that. I’ve never quite considered that to be a possibility.

I do remember times though where I noticed a member got little to no lines, but were constantly center or at the front during the dance or got lots of screen time during the music video. I’d like to think that the reason why that is is because the company wants the members to present themselves and perform in the best way possible that is effective to their strengths and weakness and not because they like or dislike a member more than the others (which is also a possibility that I keep in mind).

The thing with all-rounders is interesting as well. I personally do think that some idols are all-rounders, they’re just the strongest in one category and that’s usually the one that they present as the most. But I agree that most idols aren’t all-rounders when their fans consider them so. I wonder if that’s just because they want to think the best about them even when it’s not completely true. I personally do base my “favorite singer in the group” or “favorite rapper in the group” off of my personal tastes, but I’ll always say that when stating my opinion because I know it’s not a universal thing.

The Kpop fandom as a whole is soooo… I don’t even know.

Anyways! I’m sorry for the long paragraph and opinion that literally no one asked for 🥲, I’m just having all of these epiphanies😅

I hope you’re doing well! Love youuuuu🫶🫶🫶

I guess in kpop it makes sense some are added for their looks. Kpop isn't just about vocals. In fact it mainly isn't and the visuals are the stan attractors but they at least should carry a tune and there should be a proper main vocalist.

Yeah there is being mean and there is stating a fact. Like i said some are my own faves and even i can admit they're not good lmao but they shine somewhere else

Oh i used to be one of the equal lines demanders and i used to resent jungkook because he got the most lines in bts songs lol but now i get it. He is by far the most stable live and the most in control over his own vocals. My own fave at the time V had and still has very poor technique that despite his pleasant tone of voice makes him hard to listen to for long.

Yup while there are cases of idols with good vocals not getting their due lines (liz from ive is the most recent example) sometimes they make the idol shine in something else like momo in twice. Ofc at the same time they should still get a couple of lines so they're not completely removed from the song because that's just cruel.

Yeah there are all rounders but they're very rare. Like txt for example, yeonjun is the only all rounder. The rest aren't and it's dishonest to say they are but companies wanna claim their idols are all all rounders to not do the work of finding standout talent over just visuals. Like newjeans, ive, lesserafim, all groups I adore but where is the main vocalist? Main dancer? Main rapper?

Yeah the kpop fandom is made up of younger kids so of course they'd be passionate about defending their faves. I was when i was their age.

[circular-bircular]

Clearing The Air About Sophie

I mean, since she posted something, and since I still get regular asks about her, and since we’ve had a whole grudge and personal feud thing going on for (months? years? time is an illusion to those of us with trauma based amnesia), I do kind of want to respond. Going to put it under a cut for all those uninterested in Sophiecourse.

Side note: This isn’t for Sophie. Like she says on her post, this isn’t an olive branch. It’s just… Getting thoughts and feelings out.

TL;DR: I actually agree with what she said about my personality flaws, I know them and work on them in therapy! I don’t hate Sophie, and I don’t really hate anyone else for that matter. I believe everyone needs chances to grow and change – transphobic, fakeclaiming assholes too. I’m tired of people punching at the mods of SAS who try their best and are pro-endo. I’m tired of people lumping me in with anti-endos when I really do not hang out that much with them. I’m tired of hearing the term “hate-group” thrown around because it has a very different definition than what’s being used and also I am white and privileged I should not be the voice on this! I’m tired of people yelling about SN when I’m not even in that server any longer. And, most of all, I’m tired of people dragging this drama on continuously in the public eye. Let it fucking rest, and please let this be the final essay I have to write about the topic.

Firstly, I want to address: A lot of what Sophie says is absolutely correct. I am loyal to a fault. I have allowed myself to get into a lot of situations that are incredibly fucking harmful, all in the name of being loyal to either a cause or a friendship.

This has led to me being set so far back in my recover lately that I’ve flinched at my partner touching me, split a new part in August of this year, and started obsessively stalking blogs again in the desperate need to know everything, just to appease anyone who might be curious.

I also agree that I mean… I really don’t hate Sophie. I hate a lot of her actions, and a lot of her takes, but I don’t hate her. I simply don’t hate people. It isn’t in my nature. I have a very intense dislike for her, but as she said – coke and mentos. I would likely go “oil and water,” but I think coke and mentos fits more, given my propensity for exploding. Trauma does shake one up.

Secondly: I want to address some of the negatives she’s said that I disagree with, or I feel her personal grudges might be impacting too much.

That’s how I see SAS, who will adopt labels like “syscourse enraged” or “pro syscourse conversation” on Tumblr, while their partner heads over to r/systemscringe to tell the anti-endos that SAS is “100% anti-endo” so they can get that sweet r/systemscringe demographic. SAS’s stance is whatever they think will convince the most people to listen to them.

I would greatly appreciate if people were to stop lumping SAS under that anti-endo label as well, as me and the person they’re actually referring to (Dude) agree on many things (and yes, disagree as well, as is only healthy in a fucking friendship). People so frequently ignore the things SAS has posted about endogenic systems that acknowledges their existence, while simultaneously condemning the entire mod team for the actions of… [checks] a singlet on reddit?

I would not be friends with the mods of SAS if their beliefs fundamentally opposed mine. If any of them were regularly fakeclaimers, harassers, or doxxers, I would be blasting them on each of my blogs that I could, with screenshotted proof (as I tend to do). The fact is, none of them are anti-endo. The one I would say fits closest to that label is Mod Signal, who’s opinions on endos seems to simply be, “god, I don’t want to fucking talk about that, can I PLEASE talk about the etymology of the word dissociative and the intersection of POC and medical spaces?” (Signal, you can correct me if I’m wrong on that, I just feel that’s the vibes).

The fact of the matter is, SAS – every mod there – is a traumatized individual who has made countless mistakes. I disagree with a lot of what Mod Dude has done and said, but not in such a way that it makes me ignore the words being said. He genuinely wants people to live their best lives and recover, while also groaning and laughing at the frankly ridiculous ableism in the world. And he calls that out, and points it out, and tries to clarify.

I don’t find that bad. There’s a reason why we’re friends.

Say, for instance, your friend is under fire for fakeclaiming and transphobia, and your response is to come up with a list of things the victim said to deserve it.

Sigh.

I am no longer a moderator at the Survivor’s Network. At the time of the post Sophie is referring to here, where the user fakeclaimed her with vicious transphobia, I wasn’t online, nor active in the server – I was busy that day, and couldn’t be attentive. I’ve raked myself over the coals endlessly about not being present 24/7 to discuss every last take coming from individuals in that server due to this obsession tumblr has had that any take from SN was clearly supported by everyone there.

It wasn’t.

I nearly left that day, and only stuck around because (as Sophie herself said) I am intensely loyal. And the individual took a step back, and when they came back, some new fire needed putting out. They had lost all memory of the post in question – and I had as well. It’s unfortunate.

When the post resurfaced, the user in question was guilt stricken and absolutely mortified that they had done that. This does not excuse the behavior. They could identify which part had gotten triggered enough to say that, and what led to them being triggered from her blog. This does not excuse the behavior. They wrote an apology to the server, as their actions now (somehow, someway) reflected on every individual in the server, and (more importantly, and accurately) apologized for how their actions might be making the server members feel unsafe. This does not excuse the behavior.

The “making excuses” she lists is the list of things I wrote out while in an incredibly triggered state where I tried to provide context for what could make an individual state such heinous, disgusting things about another person. Because I do not hate others. Not even transphobic, fakeclaiming assholes. They are all simply people, and I understood why this happened. I did not defend the action, but I defended the person. He didn’t deserve hatred; he deserved the chance to redeem himself.

Perhaps I’m too kind. But I believe everyone deserves chances to change. And given that he immediately privated the post (but not deleted, so that if people had questions, he still had the post to show them so he could prove his transgressions), stepped back massively from syscourse, and started discussing more about the self care he was doing to become a less hateful person, I believed he was making that change.

When the place this individual made alongside my friends came under fire for things that were complete fabrications and lies, I included that list in the document detailing each and every allegation. For transparency. Just like the document stated. I also wrote that piece while, once again, triggered and dissociated out of my mind. I was fully in my headspace, as a new part who did not even know her name, and having just abandoned everyone I knew and loved from Survivor’s Network.

I am no longer friends with that individual. Please do not lump me in with that space any longer, as they deserve better than syscourse drama in a space that is dedicated to growth and healing.

I will say this again, for those who did not hear: I do not, and never will, condone transphobia or fakeclaiming of others, regardless of your beliefs about them. Everyone deserves a baseline of respect. No matter their beliefs about anyone else, they deserve basic respect.

I have been harassed endlessly for that belief. It genuinely hurts the amount of times I’ve been accused now of defending transphobia, bullying, harassment, and fakeclaiming (not just from Sophie, but from various hate anons I’ve blocked or the countless plural servers I am no longer allowed to venture into due to being banned for “my actions” when they weren’t mine to begin with). I am not that person, and I’m so tired of being painted that way due to my desire to give people second chances.

Ugh. Anyways.

(Again though, this is only my opinion as an outside observer. And there could very likely be private conversations about their friends’ conduct I don’t see because it would be handled in DMs.)

This is fully accurate, and I wanted to highlight this for everyone in syscourse.

The majority of my syscourse takes place on discord. I’m always hovering between around 7 and 12 system servers that I’m present in at any given time. I’ve always used online spaces as a dissociative crutch to try and help myself focus on something while also dissociating, without losing myself entirely. According to my phone, while I get the most notifications from Tumblr (825 daily, on average), I spend around an hour a day on Discord at least. (Fun Fact: Since leaving SN, I now spend an average of 4 hours on my phone, which is down from 5-7 hours daily! Progress!) Discord is also the first thing I open each day, and I read through all of the servers I usually check for.

I conduct a lot of conversation in private. I don’t feel that the majority of this sort of… business… should be on a public forum like Tumblr. Honestly, I’ve frequently lamented about the fact that Sophie isn’t on Discord much (I’ve been in servers where she was banned due to inactivity) because I feel like I have such better communication there. There’s more time to have a back and forth, rather than these essay long posts that drain my energy and take me days to write (usually).

I do call people out in DMs. I have ticketed a lot of spaces I’m in to discuss with mods the actions of other users, to clarify for myself if I am being triggered, if I’m squicked out, or if I am in the right and they are acting inappropriately. I have blocked many individuals on Discord.

What you see on Tumblr is one of two things: carefully filtered, but edited for passion and attempting to sound as clear as possible, or not filtered in the slightest while highly charged. This post is one of the latter ones, believe it or not. The length of the post doesn’t change the feeling behind it!

The fact is, I can only really call out pro-endos… here. Because I am banned from so many pro-endo spaces… for… calling out. Pro-endos. And discussing their posts in servers that are condemned (wrongfully) of being collections of people in hate groups. Therefore supporting hate groups.

See the issue? It’s a never ending cycle.

I’m trying to join more endogenic oriented spaces currently, but… we’ll see. I find them incredibly stressful for my system, due to past experiences and the increasing need of people to find the “label” that fits others, but. We’ll see.

I’ll still use scare quotes when mentioning their syscourse alignment because I find them to often be out of touch with the endogenic community and our interests.

See above. It’s incredibly difficult to view and understand the endogenic community when each one immediately declares you a fakeclaiming bigot who supports hate groups…

I think because of their friendship with anti-endos, they still want to try to appease both sides as much as possible.

I want to write more about this at the end of the post, but believe it or not… I’m really not friends with many anti-endos. I think I can name 2 off the top of my head who actually do not believe in endogenic systems. And of those two, I only share a server with one.

I don’t believe there’s a world where endogenic systems and anti-endos can both find total acceptance

Hmm.

You know?

I don’t really disagree with this point as much as some may believe.

I actually do want the entire world, one day (or at least, the relevant people in the world) to agree that endogenic systems exist. I fully want anti-endo, as a label, to go away, and I want people to open their eyes and fucking understand what endogenic systems are actually about.

I do not believe there will be a world where anti-endos will continue to be a norm, and I think those who insist on crying about how there’s “people faking having a disorder” need to actually… you know… look. At the evidence we have so far (which is not much, I will admit, but is still there) and at the experiences people are having (which is far more telling and vast). I do not believe that there will be a world where anti-endos and endos can fully co-exist with everyone feeling safe and happy together.

I also do not think that is bad.

There is no such thing as a completely safe, tolerant space. Regardless of someone’s wishes or beliefs, we cannot all be together. We cannot all believe the same things. My heavy Christian upbringing has led to even my own system being at odds with its spiritual beliefs; I am a demonic protector who regularly talks to an angelic part, who both keep an eye on our demonic persecutor, and all three of us have different religious beliefs.

We cannot believe the same things. We will disagree.

That does not mean we cannot work together, cooperate, and exist in the same spaces. I think we need to learn how to, actually, in order for the more ideal “no more anti-endos” future to come to be. If anti-endos are not accepted as people, are not welcomed in by kind endogenic or pro-endos (like I was), then how would they ever learn?

Not that people need to risk their safety like that. I would never want that. But for those individuals who can handle that burden… I feel it is needed.

But this is all beside the point. That’s a good syscourse post for another day.

Circ doesn’t like me calling anti-endos a hate group because, in my (again, outside) opinion, they’re friends with anti-endos and don’t see how the people they’re friends with could possibly be part of a hate group.

I do not like people referring to anti-endos as a hate group due to them not fitting the definition of a hate group. I don’t like it because my POC friends (both neutral, pro-endo, and unaligned) have felt spoken over by others who insist that the actions of anti-endos are somehow comparable to the actions of groups like Nazis and the KKK.

Just a quick google search:

Anti-endos are not a cohesive organization or group, and does not have equal goals across the board. I believe extremist anti-endos could potentially fall under the label of having a goal, but they are disorganized. “The group itself must have some hate-based purpose.” Most anti-endos I have had both the pleasure and displeasure of knowing… just want to be left alone. And for those who do not want that, I call them out regularly on tumblr.

What leaders? What official statements? Again, this is vastly different from groups with an actual creed or motto, groups who are a real crisis in today’s life. Some asshole on tumblr who is rambling about “The People Faking A Disorder!!1!!” is not systematically oppressing endogenic systems. They are not killing them in the streets, or dragging them behind cars via rope (an event I will not be forgetting soon as a queer individual).

Okay, if we use this definition, I could see it. I could see someone calling anti-endos a social group that practices hostility. But that is assuming that every individual who uses the label anti-endo agrees with everyone else in that social group. Which is not the case.

There’s three options, all of which, I could only loosely tie to the term hate-group.

Regardless: It is not my fucking place. I am so incredibly privileged. While I live in fear to hold my partner’s hand in public, queer rights have come leaps and bounds from where they used to be, particularly in the incredibly democratic state I live in. There are individuals who are being killed daily for their race, gender, sexuality, religion, nationality, ethnicity – any element of identity – and I do not have that same sort of fear. It is not nearly as much of a reality for me as it is for others.

That’s why I uplift and repeat those calls that POC around me say. Those POC, again, are not anti-endos. They are pro-endo, predominately. I’ve also had many “endo uninterested” friends, to quote a few.

I do not like calling anti-endos a hate group because I do not believe they are one.

(Not saying this is the only reason they dislike me, obviously. I’m certain they can find lots of other reasons. But it does seem a recurrent theme that these are the topics that make them the most heated.)

There are many more reasons, you are correct! I do believe that there are some that make me far more heated. I just also don’t think saying them here would be any benefit. I’ve already aired out my issues with you on my completely privated side blog, which nobody can see.

That doesn’t need to be public, and hopefully never will be.

And of course, the SN document which included many outright lies or just massively twisted my past statements.

I tried to display everything I saw from Sophie’s blog as I saw it at the time, based on how the individual who fakeclaimed her read them. This is how they were viewed. That isn’t a lie – that’s how they were interpreted.

Also – I was not the only person who wrote that document. I abandoned that document before finishing it, tossing it to the very few current moderators who were left after working on it for a straight week. I cannot, at this point in time, recall what I wrote on it. For all I know, they bastardized what was written and changed every last word.

(They wouldn’t do that. They cared about getting the truth out as clearly as possible. Everything that was on that document should be the fullest, clearest interpretation of events from our perspectives. Nonetheless – I have no recollection of the details that were written anymore, beyond I think some of the section titles, and the allegations that were directed directly toward me).

I’m so tired of people saying I’m lying about what I read. I’m sorry, now, that I didn’t go back through again while on my vacation in August to link to each and every claim I made, to provide the context of the posts. I’m also glad I prioritized my mental health.

Particularly: if I read things that badly, it’s very clear I was far too triggered to be handling those topics in the first place.

And good lord, yes, everything you said at the end, though I’ll address the reverse as I know I have a wider anti-endo audience on my blog:

Do not fucking send hatred to Sophie. Do not go rallying against her. This is what I said on my callout post about her over a year ago, now. Do not interact with Sophie.

That isn’t about her. It’s about you. (At the time, it might have been about her – I abandoned MotCR for a reason. I was a dick back then, and while I stand by the call to action, I actually don’t necessarily stand by that post any longer. But I very rarely delete posts, so people can hold me accountable).

Sophie’s content often triggers those of us with trauma related to many topics – endogenic systems, tulpamancy, racism, spirituality, hallucinations, religion, and many other topics. She discusses those topics in conjunction with endogenic systems.

Someone who triggers you by talking about something that triggers you is not worthy of harassment. Nobody is worthy of harassment.

Someone you feel is spreading misinformation is not worthy of harassment. Nobody is worthy of harassment.

Stop fucking bringing me up to her! Stop bringing her up to me! I’ve said it so many times! I’ve begged her not to post asks about me in the past, but it’s just. Unavoidable when we share the same spaces, at this point, for us not to see each other’s posts. And when I see things, I address them, because that’s the point of a discourse space.

But you all are only harming everyone by trying to “defend” those you care about. Including those you care about! Have faith that the individuals you are trying to support can support themselves. Dragging my name into people’s inboxes to try and support me only continues drama that I would rather be left well enough alone, buried deep in the amnesic recesses of my mind.

Normalizing hatred toward Sophie will normalize pro-endos sending hate to those they view as Not One Of Them. This has happened before and will happen again if it becomes the norm. Pro-endos have been harassed to deletion and even death. Anti-endos have experienced the same.

Stop fucking doing it.

…

And for the last point, as an aside at the end, I have a genuine question.

How many anti-endo friends do you people think I actually have?

When I mention my anti-endo friends, I typically mean… like… 5. Max. And that number has severely dwindled, both due to the fact that I’ve made a lot more people open to endogenic plurality, and due to the fact that I’ve cut many individuals off.

I do not have many anti-endo friends. And of those friends I have, we don’t really discuss any syscourse. I have, I believe, one anti-endo friend at this point whom I share a server with. We discuss very little as we are both fairly inactive in that server. I believe the most recent discussion was “is it morally okay to steal from a big super market” (yes) and “what should I get for christmas this year” (thanks for the suggestion on the diamond painting, I’m kinda looking forward to it if I get it!)

The majority of anti-endos don’t like me. They don’t interact with me. Those that do often find themselves no longer identifying as anti-endo, or already didn’t blast their syscourse stance everywhere in the first place.

The anti-endos I do associate with are the kind that simply want a space away from Endogenic systems. They admit endos exist. They simply don’t want endos around them, and find that the anti-endo label is a quick and easy way to get endos to stay far away. (Huh, it all circles back to that “we should be more accepting of others, regardless of label” idea…)

Look. At the end of the day, one thing remains true: me and Sophie do not need to get along. She will continue arguing against the takes I make that she disagrees with, and I will continue arguing against hers. Honestly, that is far, far healthier than what was happening when I was trying desperately to avoid mentioning her at all. I feel now that I can actually engage in the discussions happening. There’s a lot of reasons for that -- the biggest I think being that I really could not give a rats ass about this topic anymore. I don’t care about what she posts.

The majority of what she posts nowadays are either vagueposts or takes about plurality, which I think is fine and dandy. It’s not my territory, and if I have problems or thoughts, I’ll typically post them on my own. Which I have been! Remarkably, our takes can often exist in conjunction.

Me and Sophie are not at war with each other. It’s more “you stay in your corner and I’ll stay in mine.”

Please let us keep it that way?

[bria-doublen-a]

Book Review: Heir of Fire

Non Spoiler Section

If you thought the first two books in this series were amazing, prepare to pick your jaw up off of the floor after this one because Sarah J Maas has been holding back. She demonstrates her immaculate skill in character development here, leaving you itching for more scenes with our favorite gang.

Now, this story does introduce some new characters and we jump around between three different perspectives all throughout the book. If anyone loves Celaena as much as I do, I’m sure you’re going to have periods where you’re feeling impatient and dying to get back to her. But let me warn you now: you’re going to have to learn how to share your time. Give these newbies a chance to surprise you.

In Heir of Fire, now that we know Celaena is really Aelin Galathynius, we get to watch her as she navigates a new land (at least new to us) in Wendlyn. All while she grieves the death of her friend Nehemia, and the loss of a great love with Chaol. And the way grief is described in this book is so beautifully painful. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I definitely had to pace myself with this book. It has a bit of a slower start, which means there’s a lot of time for Celaena to process and feel her emotions. This book is where she is at her lowest, so prepare to feel the secondhand depression. Definitely not for the faint of heart, but it only makes the comeback that much more rewarding!

So, what are you waiting for? Go pick up at that book and read!

Spoiler Section

Y’all this one was the best one yet!!!

I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical in the beginning when Sarah introduced Manon. Well, not skeptical, per se, just kind of...I don’t know, annoyed? I didn’t mind switching POVs from Celaena to Chaol or Dorian, but whenever I had to sit and read scenes with Manon, it just felt like a commercial break in between the scenes of a movie or TV show.

I didn’t understand what her purpose was and I didn’t know why I was supposed to like her or root for her. Do we have any gamers here? Has anyone ever played The Last of Us Part II? (spoilers incoming btw) Introducing Manon kind of had the same reaction I had when I first had to play as Abby, which annoyed the hell out of me because it just felt like it was just to get me to build some kind of relationship with her, only to rip out the rug from under me when Maas tries to surprise us with the reveal that she’s actually a villain.

Obviously, that’s not what happened and obviously, I did end up LOVING HER. Honestly, I don’t know why I expected anything less from SJM! She continues to crash through the barriers of my expectations with her depiction of relatable and complex characters.

That scene where Manon falls in the pit with Titus and the bait dragon and realizes that size and brutality isn’t what matters—it’s the inner strength...*chef’s kiss* That was the moment that I realized that Manon was more than just a murdering psycho without a heart, regardless of how many times she tries to convince us of this. I don’t know about you all, but I’m getting major Zuko vibes from ATLA.  Honestly, I’m so excited to see what’s awaiting for her in the next book.

And Chaol—ugh. I never realized how hard I was leaning on Dorian and Celaena to help carry me through scenes with him until I was forced to watch him do his own thing without them. I’m trying really hard to like him, but he makes it increasingly difficult. Once again, I find myself wanting to know what happened before he came to the castle. What made him leave his family in Anielle? I know there’s a story there and I’m so desperate to know it, because I want to feel more than this bland dislike for him.

I know that Chaol sent Celaena to Wendlyn to protect her and I know that he has intentions of staying here in the castle to help keep Dorian safe as well, but I have problems with the way he explains his thought process here. He still so obviously views Celaena’s heritage and Dorian’s magic as bad things. Things he wishes he could change about them, things he wishes he didn’t know. But Dorian and Celaena aren’t the problem, dude! It’s you!

Dorian even says as much in an argument with Chaol, and I was so thrilled by this scene, because I really thought that maybe I’m being too harsh on him. Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion, but no! Dorian calls Chaol out on his shit, saying, “you only accept the parts of us you want to accept.” And good for Dorian, because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Speaking of Dorian, can we talk about how he keeps getting the shit end of the stick? My poor, sweet, Dorian! First, he gets dumped by Celaena (I’m still angry about this), then he has to watch his ex and his best friend get all cuddly (grrrr!), while learning he has freaking magic!!. He’s feeling alone and isolated and like his friends have completely shut him out (because they did) and then finally—FINALLY—we think he’s getting a break when we meet Sorscha. 

The amount of adoration I had for this girl is unreal. She was quiet and shy and kind and just everything that Dorian deserved...and she was killed by the king. Killed. The king freaking decapitated her. Was that really necessary?

Y’all. I was so stupid mad. If anything, Chaol should’ve been the one to die in that scene. A sacrifice like that would’ve been enough for me to forgive him and help me realize that he at least understands the problems in his choices and their consequences. But no. Chaol’s let off scot-free. Once again. *sigh*

Am I being too hard on him?

But let’s talk about Celaena and Rowan. First of all, I was not expecting to like this guy. He was rude and obnoxious and seemed to only want to hurt Celaena. I was never much of a enemies-to-lovers trope kind of gal, but I immediately caught that vibe when we first met him. Still, I found myself excited to see where it was going, because it was clear that Maeve had led Rowan to believe that Celaena grew up like a princess, never having to do a single thing herself. I can’t blame Rowan’s perception of her given what he thinks he knows and what Celaena refuses to open up about.

Aaaaaand, I was right.

I absolutely loved watching Rowan and Celaena grow closer. Even more, I loved the interractions she had with Emrys and Luca too. Every single character, small or large—even the villiains—had such drastic impressions on Celaena and forced her to address each dark corner of her past she tried to ignore.

The scene where she’s having her burnout while trying to protect the ward around the Mistward, where she’s trapped in her mind and the version of herself that uses Aelin as her name comes to her was absolutely amazing. I loved that this was Celaena’s turning point. I was almost expecting Maas to stop calling Celaena Celaena and move on to addressing her as Aelin. 

It was set up perfectly when Aelin came to Celaena, holding her hand out, encouraging her to fight back. The death of Celaena and the rise of Aelin. But I can also understand how confusing that would be. Though, at this point, she already has three names. Aelin, Celaena and Elentiya. I feel like anyone who tried hard enough could keep up.Plus, it would really accentuate the change in her mental state. Celaena never wanted to be queen. Aelin strives to reclaim her land. Meh. Oh, well. Either way, I am incredibly happy with how this book turned out.

All in all, this gets 5/5 stars from me.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

💬

Oho another anonymous! And another snippet from Hiraeth, because apparently that's the story I'm sharing bits of today :P

Okay so this section was terribly hard to write, for reasons that ought to be obvious, but in the end I'm unexpectedly proud of how it came out - I mean - well, I hope you know what I mean. This is the bit that continued from the previously shared snippet, that I decided not to share then, but here it is now. The 'she' referred to is Aelwen's mother, and 'he' is her father.

“Please.” She took an involuntary step forward, desperation in her voice. “Please, please, come back with us, even just once, I beg you—try it again, or talk to me—to us—” He lifted his head and glanced at her, looking older than his years. There were shadows on his face, still largely covered by his capable hands. “Don’t bother me with it,” he replied tiredly. “I’m not coming. I’ve had all the years to try, and I tried, I tried to believe, and I just couldn’t. Don’t try and pretend that it’s a thing that I can just will into being.” He leaned his head on his hands again and added, “I wish it were the case, but faith is harder than that, and I simply don’t believe any more. This is the harder way out. If I’d been any weaker, I would have stayed, kept on going with you, but it would be hypocritical of me to do that, don’t you think? As it was, it was terribly hard to convince myself to come clean to you all and tell you about it.” It was as if, Aelwen realised as she stood there, very still and horrified, he had finally snapped and decided to tell them everything that he had not revealed before, no matter how much it may hurt them in the process. “If God was real,” he continued, in an impassioned voice, “I’d know about it. Goodness knows I’ve been searching for years and years, and not found any evidence. I just didn’t want to bother you with it, but eventually, it became too much. I dislike to live a lie,” her father said, biting off each word precisely. “I have been a hypocrite for far too long throughout my life, and it changed when I finally told my family how I truly felt. I am not intending to go back and become one of those sheep again, following a system of belief just because it seems convenient, easy or what you grew up in.” “Believing the Bible in truth is not the easy path,” said her mother, sounding like she was scarcely holding back tears. He ignored her. “I’m not coming. Please don’t ask me again. If I ever decide that I will come back, whether to stay or just to confirm that I’ve made the right decision….” There was an unnecessary jab, put in because he was angry and upset. Aelwen could recognise it far too easily: he wanted to hurt them, maybe because he still wanted his faith back. “…I will. But don’t try and push me. If you do, you’re liable to get results that you didn’t actually want.” “Such as?” Her voice trembled even more. “Trust me. You don’t want to know.” He got up, abruptly, and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

If from the point of view of the other side this interpretation of his emotions doesn't really make sense, don't forget that all this is from Aelwen's POV - she may or may not be interpreting his reasons correctly. She still holds her faith, and doesn't understand how he can not, even though at times she is slipping into despair.

I would love feedback on this. (excerpt #4 for today)

[twilightguardian]

The hiatus was so nice, I got a lot of things done. I couldn’t wait for the next episode, and it seems neither could Lilith, because even after a month holiday she’s right back to watching with the rest of us! Honestly, you’d think she would get tired of doing this and just not bother but her posts bitching about Fixing RWBY get more traction than she ever got talking about Glints Saga. So since she’s of the ilk that’s convinced people only have popularity riding on RWBY’s coattails, it must be her acting out that mentality, right? lol

Putting under a readmore because some anonymous complainer who has a broken tumblr that doesn’t have the Expand function whined at me. I’d say fix your tumblr but since this one also looks to be fairly long, I’ll comply anyway. It’s no skin off my back.

Yep. Lovely example of Lilith either not knowing or purposefully ignoring social context. Gotta love it.

 Because people can refer to people, or in this case cartoon characters, as ‘bitch’ in an affectionate or otherwise joking way. Jinn isn’t real, kiddo, she doesn’t have feelings to hurt even if it was meant to be the insulting term. “The bitch should wear some clothes” isn’t seriously calling her a bitch, and Lilith fully knows that. She gave the bitch some clothes. Bitches love clothes.

Gonna step on Lilith to get up on my soap box. We all know she doesn’t understand the concept of critique. But there is a difference between fun hate and not fun hate. Hate out of love and passion is frustration because something you like is doing something that you don’t like. Apparently not shutting up, turning your brain off and drooling all over yourself as you consume product is a bad thing. How dare people have opinions that isn’t consume more product.

There’s a show appealing to someone and not appealing to someone. And within that there is aspects of a show appealing to someone and not appealing to someone. If you get past the first set of appeal, congrats, you’re a fan. If aspects don’t appeal to you, then those aspects don’t appeal to you, but others do. After all, that’s why you got past the first round of appeal in the first place.

I do have a friend who we’ve encouraged to stop watching RWBY because he was no longer having fun with the show, whether talking about it or shitting on it. It was making him frustrated, angry and upset and we could tell from his voice that he was no longer enjoying himself. At that point there is little benefit to continuing to watch a show. Because love it or hate it, if you’re enjoying the thing, if you have passion for it, that’s a valid way to watch it. You’re analyzing the show just as much as anyone else who is passionate enough to dig deep into analytics. But if you’re genuinely feeling miserable watching the show because you hate it that much, it becomes unhealthy. It’s no longer hating that something you thought was cool ended up being so flawed and you enjoy talking about it.

 Even well loved shows have its critics who have aspects of the show they dislike and no one complains. Most fandoms outside of the RWBY fandom understand that just because you have beef with some part of the show it doesn’t mean you are a ‘hater’. People are entitled to their opinions, people are entitled to be frustrated with elements of a story because no story is going to be perfect for everyone. If someone is a genuine ‘hater’ of a show, they don’t watch it of their own volition.

I hated the show. From a technical standpoint as a student of animation, and from a writing perspective as a writer, I saw nothing but rushed animation and overly cliche writing. Passion has nothing to do with it, frankly, it’s about pride in your work. If I have pride in something, I’d want it to be my best foot forward and I wouldn’t want to put anything out that looked like early RWBY even if I decided I wanted to make an indie thing myself. And if I wanted to watch a generic story about fantasy high school, I’d watch any of the other better written, better animated shows out there in the world. I ended up watching past volume 1 because I was told to by a fan because he didn’t like that I was talking about my negative experience with the show. So, if he says I can’t criticize the show unless I watch it, then I did. But only because the opportunity presented itself, because honestly that’s such a stupid argument. No one has to watch the entire show of something they aren’t enjoying in order to be “worthy” of critiquing it. That’s only true if they talk about things outside of the scope of their direct knowledge and experience about the show.

It’s embarrassing to me that Lilith is a writer and doesn’t know how writing works. But she’s just one of many these days that don’t.

So, there are three different categories of characters that are allowed to drive the plot forward:

The protagonists

The antagonists

Arc relevant characters

The protagonists, if they are active characters, will or should drive the plot forward at least half the time. Lilith is interesting in that she complains that Fixing RWBY doesn’t allow the female protagonists to drive their own stories forward, yet is silent when the show doesn’t. The thing about being a protagonist that drives the story forward is that the actions you perform will have consequences, and the viewers get to hold the protagonist responsible for that if they feel the action taken was poor. But Lilith complains whenever people talk about Team RWBY’s involvement in the Atlas Arc, saying that because they are girls that they shouldn’t have to be criticized for their involvement. Infantilizing the girls, because they’re women, saying that they should be exempt from criticism when they are active in their own show because of the fact that they’re girls. Well, I’m sorry, but that’s not how any of this works. If Team RWBY wants to wear the Protagonist Pants, they get treated no differently than any other character who also wears them. They are in the spotlight, they’ll get the most attention, they’ll get the most criticism.

Antagonists are usually the ones who drive the plot forward, more often than the protagonists even. Without the antagonists, there wouldn’t be much conflict in our story about ‘saving the world from evil’ now would there? Salem, quite frankly, is a poor excuse of an villain. Rather, she’s the Rita Repulsa, or more accurately, the Fire Lord Ozai of RWBY. Rita rarely ever directly got herself involved in the battles with the Power Rangers, preferring to send wave after wave of ineffective henchmen after them to get destroyed in the monster of the week-style format. Her main saving grace is that it’s a show for very small children and her over the top antics are amusing. Plus the Green Ranger Arc is still great to this day, something that she was directly the cause of. Even though she doesn’t appear herself, she still physically has to throw her staff down into the earth to grow her monster into a kaijuu. Rita Repulsa drives the plot forward in her show. Ozai on the other hand is mostly covered in shadow during the few, scant moments we do see him in the show before the very end. He’s intimidating while on screen, especially when looking through the perspective of Zuko. But he doesn’t directly drive the plot forward. He’s a vague, wishy-washy threat far off in the distance and we see Sozen’s Comet more as the looming threat than Ozai is. It can be one of the weaknesses of Avatar if it weren’t for the fact that, like Rita, he has minions (his own children) to throw at the Gaang to be direct threats. Zuko, and then Azula, and then smaller antagonists just as General Zhao. They aren’t constant threats, though. Ozai’s threat as a villain is reduced to something that isn’t all that big until the second half of the final season. Salem is much more like Ozai. A threat way off in the distance, and one that we didn’t even know of until the end of the third volume. But she sits and waits in her spoopy castle, allowing her minions to do as they please. Cinder is the antagonist for volumes 2-3 and half of 5. Tyrian is an antagonist for about 3 episodes. Hazel at the climax of volume 5 and Watts is ever in the background being a little tech goblin. Roman + White Fang was the main antagonist for V1, not part of Salem’s crew (which is fine, it’s the start of the show, we can build up to it). Cinder is indirectly the mastermind behind V2, though it’s mostly done by Roman still using White Fang. Cinder is directly involved in V3, joined by Roman and White Fang. V4 it’s all about the Nucklavee and White Fang. V5 it’s Raven and Cinder oh and Adam reminds us he exists. V6-8 is Atlas with Adam as a footnote and finally for V8, Salem gets up off her ass and directly does an action. V9 is looking to not have anything to do with Salem at all.

Arc Relevant characters are the final piece to the puzzle, usually having a big hand in whatever needs to be done. They’re usually considered temporary, but they are needed in some way for the plot to move forward.

While two different elements of these three can work simultaneously, out of the seven configurations possible, a protagonist only needs to be active in only four of them. Protagonists do not need to be the driving force all the time, but nor do they need to sit on the sidelines for an entire plot just because they aren’t the main driving plot.

Adam is an antagonist, and is being set up as the main obstacle for the heroes this volume. Antagonists drive the plot, sometimes much more than the protagonists do, so why is it a problem that the antagonist does their job? It shows a lack of knowledge and skill on Lilith’s part when she doesn’t know or understand fundamental aspects of storytelling.

So Lilith actively lies now. I know she and her little friend Xelian don’t understand the concept of lying, but she’s definitely not telling the truth here, being manipulative and obscuring the truth with muddy language enough to give a false impression by, funnily enough, ignoring any time one of our main protagonist does anything to focus on Roman, Qrow and Neo. Then again, for someone who bitches and whines and throws a tantrum that Raymond is such a sexist pig, she sure treats the female protags like garbage and focuses on the male characters, important or not. It’s almost like Lilith has some serious projection going on.

 The sequence of the train crashing follows like this:

Yang and Blake are stable and able to save themselves so far

Weiss and Roman are secured on a train car

Roman rescues Neo

Qrow is trapped within the train car and struggles to get out

Ruby is secured at the top of the train cars

Blake is attacked by a manticore and is saved by Weiss

Yang loses grip and falls and is saved by Weiss

Manticore goes after Weiss, who is saved by Ruby

Ruby falls, Yang saves Blake from a bridge beam

Neo goes to save Yang when she falls from destroying the beam

Roman slams into Weiss, who protects him

Ruby saves Weiss from another manticore

Qrow saves Roman and they both land, Blake lands on her own

Ruby breaks her leg and is helped by Weiss to get off the breaking ice

Neo and Yang both crash into the water and Neo is pinned

Yang tries to save Neo but runs out of air

Blake and everyone else saves Neo from drowning

Wow it looks like it’s the main team that do the majority of the saving here. Like I said, Lilith ignores what’s inconvenient to her toxic narrative by saying characters that barely did anything get to be the focus of the scene. Team RWBY got to shine in this scene and displayed both strong amounts of teamwork and care for each other. Weiss is MVP.

Also Lilith tries to act like titling the episode after a non Team RWBY member is somehow wrong. Because that’s totally a sane and logical thing to do. Seriously, she has to REACH really hard to the point where she nearly pulls something to come up with these complaints. As nitpicky as the Antis accuse anyone they hate of being, I don’t think anyone has seriously complained about the title of the episode being related to a character as an issue. Lilith is no better than the people she dislikes because she is the people she dislikes in thought and action, and then some.

“Oh my god how dare the guy who has the brain parasite inside his mind be affected by the brain parasite?!”

That’s how stupid Lilith sounds. I’m sure she’s fine with Oscar not having his own agency in the canon scene, considering how much she hates men. That’s why she focuses on them so much. She says over and over and over how much she doesn’t hate men, and I guess she’s right. Based on her actions with the cast in Fixing, I have to say she hates all the characters, the female characters and male characters alike. She hates the whole cast of RWBY. She bitches about the male characters twitching an eyebrow or breathing the wrong way. She completely ignores the main female characters. She bitches about the female non-main cast members. Lilith is someone who has a sickness and is perpetually unhappy and clings to her hatred while projecting her insecurities, failings and flaws onto other people.

Lilith whines and complains that the RWBY girls don’t have a childish temper tantrum, with Yang bitching about how they’ve picked up a useless old woman because she’s upset they got left behind. Then she goes on the attack at Ozpin out of the blue. Ozpin gives them the information readily that it’s the relic that causes it, though it honestly seems like the girls already knew the answer and just wanted confirmation. Like they read the script.

In Fixing, everyone makes a fire and huddle around it for warmth while they figure out what went wrong. They try to use their brains to figure out why things happened the way they did. Adam is brought up but the idea of him attracting the grimm is dismissed by Yang and Weiss. But Blake, having known him and how deep his hatred and rage goes, says he can.

Roman is the one who brings up the relic. He’s Ozpin’s host, and thus slowly merging with him, so he has access to Ozpin’s memories. He’s the one who shifts the focus. Ozpin, unlike canon, is not willing to give up any information at all and fights Roman on it, causing Roman to fight back and give Ruby the information she’d need to get them all answers.

It’s almost exhausting to see just how stupid Lilith is. If not outright stupid, than ignorant to her own detriment. “Stans” of RWBY always complain that no one who critiques it pays attention to RWBY, but at least they watch the content even if they ultimately disagree with the “stans”. Lilith can’t even be bothered to do that, so it really makes me wonder why she even bothers focusing so much on Fixing RWBY in the first place.

Raymond has said multiple times that he doesn’t think the story overall for RWBY is bad. It is unpolished and rough. His goal is trying to refine it a little bit. Not make it a perfect diamond, but making it so that it doesn’t look like it just came up out of the dirt. If someone can’t comprehend that, they are a moron. If someone ignores that because they want to call Raymond a hater, they are a liar. Lilith is both. Anyone who thinks the way Lilith does, be it Seeker, Xelian, or any of their friends, are no better.

This is a really stupid leap in logic. Lilith is aiming for the olympics with this stretch. We saw in canon that Brunswick farms had a tool shed. Holy shit Lilith can’t even be bothered to remember details from the show she claims to like and defend. But par for the course, since she specifically came into the fandom to be a troll because no one cares about her in the Magical Girl community anymore because she’s terrible and that’s a sore spot for her.

Legit dumbass take that it’ll automatically be Roman or Neo to drive for no reason other than the fact that she wants it to be that way. Are you secretly a Roman and Neo fan, Lilith? Is that why you focus so much on them? Secretly, desperately, she wants Raymond to focus so much more on them and that’s why SHE focuses so much on them! lolol

She doesn’t care about RWBY because she likes the show, she cares about RWBY because it has a strong enough fanbase with critical individuals that she gets to bully people. The majority of her posts about RWBY are digs at RWDE or “haters”. She’s a grifter.

Giving Adam a bike doesn’t take away Yang’s ability to use a bike, and if anyone honestly thinks this, they’re an idiot. Motorcycles are vehicles that anyone can pick up and use if they care to. This is such a stupid take I can’t even fathom the kind of nonsense that goes through her twisted mind to come up with such bullshit.

Says the hack writer who wrote the boring ass beginning of Glints Saga without any knowledge of the basic fundamental idea of hooking your audience. I don’t even think Glints is a bad concept, but holy man does the beginning of the story not grab you at all and that’s an audience retention killer. She wants to talk about Raymond being a bad writer. At least he knows the fundamentals.

[palettepainter]

WARNING: There will be spoilers to MHA manga chapters 362 and 365

Before I begin, I want to stress that I do not mean any hate to the creator, this post is simply to share my thoughts and hopefully hear some of yours. My opinion may change later down the line when more manga chapters come out or when I read some of your thoughts if you want to share

So I know I’ve said before that generally I’m not a Bakugo lover, but in all seriousness, it’s never been a deep rooted hatred. Generally I’m just a bit iffy with bully characters and Bakugo right from the start did not have a good first impression. Ontop of him literally telling Deku to take a swan dive and the multiple attempts to attack Deku in training (note the time he tried to attack Deku during the baseball training exercise and the exercise where Bakugo and Iida played villians and Deku and Uraraka where heroes): overall I just don’t like him and find myself frustrated with his character

But to those of you who have seen the more recent chapters in the manga, you’ll know that Bakugo isn’t doing so hot - and when chapter 362 came out, I didn’t feel anything towards Bakugo’s death. I dislike him sure but it’s never been a “Gah I hate this character so much I wish they would get killed off” hate. When chapter 362 I was convinced that unless they threw Eri into the fray, Bakugo was dead and he wasn’t coming back. I thought this could be a genuinely interesting and good idea for the story, especially concerning Deku. (I know Deku continuing to be Bakugo’s friend is all about him being a perfect hero to weild OFA but at the same time, come on Deku get a better bestie Todoroki and Iida are RIGHT THERE-)

And for the briefest of moments I was actually happy that Bakugo was dead, because I thought hey, this could lead to some really interesting conflicts in Deku’s actions and emotions concerning whether he saves or kills Shigaraki

And then chapter 365 came out.

I’m conflicted on how to feel about this. And I have three reasons

1) I know this isn’t a “fake out death” because Bakugo is quite literally dead/dying, but to suddenly have one of the heroes show up and have a solution to save him, it just feels a little...too convenient? I’m not sure if convenient is the right word to use, but it’s the best thing that comes to mind - and I hate having to use this word to describe this anime. MHA was the first anime I ever started watching and I DO think it’s a very good series! Calling it convenient just feels insulting so I really hate that I think this sudden move from Edgeshot is a bit too good to be true

2) Now this is a point I may be wrong on as I can’t look back through the entire manga for any appearances of Edgeshot, but to my knowledge, overall, we haven’t had a great deal of screentime with Edgeshot throughout the series. (Please note I do not read the vigilantes comic so I don’t know how much Edgeshot appeared in that series if he appeared at all) I feel nothing towards Edgeshot potentially sacrificing himself to save Bakugo, and that’s because - for me personally - I’ve not gotten attatched to his character. We’ve had nothing really impactful with Edgeshot (to my knowledge) that would make this death particularly impactful. Think back to chapter 285 - one of my only moments in the manga I actually like with Bakugo 

Even though personally I don’t like Bakugo that much, even I can hold my hands up and admit that him taking the hit for Deku, both genuinely caught me off and guard actually had me feeling some sympathy and worry for him. Remember how impactful this moment was?? I remember seeing it everywhere under the chapter tag on Twitter. What about the Touya Todoroki reveal?? Remember when that out-trended the election on Twitter because the mystery of Touya had been built up for so long? 

I just don’t think Edgeshot’s sacrifice is gonna get the same amount of hype because we just haven’t had a great deal of screentime with Edgeshot enough to feel shocked or sad for his (possible) sacrifice. 

3) Generally, from a story stand point, I think Bakugo dying would be really interesting. Though I personally don’t think Deku should put up with the constant yelling, threats and more yelling Bakugo throws at him that’s not what Deku’s character is, Deku wants to be the best hero ever, he doesn’t use his quirk to get back at Bakugo for the sake of revenge, but he isn’t as easy to push around anymore (note the fight him and Bakugo had after All Might’s retirement). I’m not really sure what their bond is - again, not a big fan of Bakugo and not really Deku either (nothing against Deku I’ve just always liked side/backgrounds characters) - but based on how Deku reacted when he saw Bakugo get hurt in chapter 285, it’s clear Deku cares for him still, even after everything Bakugo put him through. I respect that about his character, but even so - imagine the emotional conflict Deku would have to face if Bakugo stays dead? If Edgeshot couldn’t save him: I think watching that emotional reaction and explosion afterwards as Deku battles with his emotions and his idea of wanting to save Shigaraki would be AWESOME

And yeah, I know we might be getting that in the next few chapters of the manga, but I still think Bakugo dying would be a really good plot point for this series. Watching Deku grow up into a hero, who despite having lost someone like Bakugo to a villain, continues to want to save villains rather then destroy them - putting his wants to get revenge behind him so he can continue his dream of saving people with a smile. That would be AWESOME (also generally seeing Deku go batshit with his quirk is awesome in generally, look at how far he’s come)

Now all these points aside I just want to say that if Bakugo DOES end up surviving, I’m not gonna be mad. Like I said this anime was the first anime I ever started watching so it’ll always hold a special place in my heart for the people it’s introduced me to, and the wonderful fan works I’ve been able to see. 

What are your guys’s thoughts on this?? I’m genuinely willing to discuss opinions and ideas as long as it’s all constructive

[fingertipsmp3]

Have accidentally ended up reading 6 books at once. How did this happen. We’re smarter than this

[yesimwriting]

Corridor Moments

A/n this is a request from @mariannagris for a fic with the Darkling x Sun Summoner! reader where they're having a cute moment and then Zoya walks in and sees that they're together and gets jealous.

I'm working on a longer fic that should be up this weekend!! I'm working through a bunch of requests/updates rn I promise lol

--

He's no longer guiding me, but he hasn't moved his hands away--one on my waist, one on my shoulder.

"Aleksander," I try to keep my tone casual, only hinting at a warning.

There's no way he misses it, but he still allows the hand on my shoulder to ghost across my collar before setting his palm on my cheek. "Yes, my sun?"

Before I can roll my eyes, he brushes his thumb across my cheek softly. His touch has started to become more casual, but I'm not sure the comfort it brings me will ever lose its novelty. I tilt my head slightly, leaning into his touch.

"We're not alone." The reminder is more for me than him. All of his actions are intentional, he knows the risks of his sudden bout of affection. "We may be in an empty hallway now, but we're not alone."

Aleksander leans forward slightly, forcing me to press my back into the wall to avoid melting into him. I don't miss his half-smile, a confident smirk breaking across his features. He knows what he's doing. "And what would we need to be alone for?"

The slightest hint of annoyance bubbles in my chest. For someone so determined, he enjoys playing coy more than he should. My lips part, prepared to call him out for his teasing, but Aleksander senses my hesitance like always. He leans forward again, this time pulling my chin up slightly so that our lips could brush together if I just inclined my head slightly.

The closer we get, the more I feel our distance. His eyes flicker downwards, focusing on the slight part of my lips. Aleksander angles his head downwards, allowing our lips to meet fully. Now that the barrier's been broken, I have no choice but to reciprocate with full force, my hands leaving his chest and finding their way into his hair. Aleksander's hands grab the collar of my kefta. He pulls me towards him sharply, as desperate as I am to eliminate space.

And then he pulls me away. I'm left pouting on instinct, lips slightly swollen and breathing a little uneven. "Easy," he chides, "We can't afford to get distracted."

I wrinkle my nose at him. He started this, pulling me out of the meeting under the ruse of important, private conversation. "And who's the one doing the distracting?"

Aleksander smiles fully. A real grin, the kind of grin that rivals any amount of sun I could ever produce. "You," he breathes, leaning in again and brushing his lips against my cheek, "Considering you won't leave my thoughts."

I let myself grin back, his unexpected softness an arrow that pierces through whatever's left of my composure. "You're awfully sentimental today."

He straightens slightly, expression still light. "Is that a bad thing?"

Squeezing the hand that he's placed on my waist, I beam at him. "Not bad at all--just different."

He's still looking at me with a fierceness that sometimes frightens me due to its wholeness, but something ancient and dark is settled behind his eyes. Something haunting that he won't let me help him with. I haven’t known him that long, but I’ve figured out that his affection is often a secret plea, a silent attempt to rid himself of darkness. What's the point of being able to summon the sun if you cannot banish the darkness that haunts those you care about? I raise his hand to my mouth, kissing each of his knuckles deliberately. He exhales at the contact, some sort of tension coiling in him at the chaste contact. 

I like us better when we’re alone. When he lets things like this slip from him as he tries to let my light in him. I could stay in this corridor forever with him. I could hold him by his hand to make sure he can’t slip away from me. 

Reality does not allow me to coddle my dreams. If I lose focus, he’ll be able to convince me to do anything--to forget my own name even. I drop my gaze to the hand I’m still holding, running my thumb along his knuckles. “We can’t--we can’t stay.” Not the truest sentiment--he can do whatever he wants. “I can’t stay.” The correction leaves me bitter. “Not for long.” The addition only softens the harsh edge of reality slightly. “People are already starting to think you’re extending favoritism towards me.” 

Aleksander lifts the hand I’m holding, taking my hand with him. He turns my hand over before placing a kiss on my palm. The contact is warm and fleeting and I’m powerless against the sentiment it stirs. “And this isn’t favoritism?” 

I roll my eyes, his warm breath is still against my skin. “That depends--am I your favorite?” 

His hold on my hand tightens slightly. “You already know the answer.” I let the corner of my mouth twitch upwards. Aleksander has already offered me more than I expected today, but it’d still be nice to hear him say it. “You, my darling, my sun, will always be my favorite.” 

I beam a little easier, warmth expanding in my chest. Still, the feeling isn’t enough to burn through all of my reluctance. His affection stems from the fact that he believes me to be his salvation. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me. How else could i have won his affections? 

“It’s easy to favor a Sun Summoner,” the response is soft, a bit of forced teasing edging my words. 

His eyebrows draw together as his hold on my hand tightens, turning from a gentle squeeze to a desperate grab. “Sun Summoner or not, no one else has ever held my favor the way you do.” Aleksander leans towards me again, the comforting heat of his breath on my cheek. “And no one ever will.” 

I’m reduced to nothing more than happy neediness, letting him cup my face and pulling me towards him. His lips meet mine with a desperate understanding that’s both bruising and coddling. Aleksander’s teeth graze my bottom lip, testing waters that are unfamiliar between us. I reciprocate, pushing even closer to him. He pushes us backwards, pressing me against the wall as he moves his attention away from my lips and down my jaw, leaving a trail of hot skin wherever his lips brush. 

“Aleksander,” I breathe, placing a hand on his chest, “Meeting--we need to--” 

He pulls away just enough to let me feel his grin, “That can wait.” 

“They’ll think things,” Despite my warning, Aleksander doesn’t pull away, his fingertips brushing against my collar. “They’re waiting,” he sighs against my hair, still careless, “Alina--she’s waiting...” He continues to touch me like I’m an illusion of the light. “And--” He smiles at my waning resolve, attempting to move forward to silence the last of my protests with a kiss. 

I turn my head, suppressing a reluctant laugh at his carelessness. Aleksander is not discouraged, pressing a kiss against my cheek. Shifting my gaze while placing my hand on his chest to make it easier to push him off fo me, I freeze. He must feel my new stiffness, because Aleksander pauses against me.  

Zoya. She’s standing at the entrance of the corridor, watching us--watching me--with such a sharp look of ill-defined displeasure I’m surprised I’m not physically withered by it. Awkwardness and something akin to guilt leave me blind as I try to create space between me and the unbudging General. Does he not see her? 

“Yes?” His voice leaves goosebumps against my skin--not an ounce of shame, but not a drop of that easy-going softness either. He’s General Kirigan again--sharp and incapable of shame or regret. He’s in complete control, all the power in the world is at the fingertips that are still on my skin. 

Zoya’s expression does not waver, eyes still locked on me. “Those in the meeting were beginning to worry, but I see that you’re occupied.” I was wrong. She’s not staring at me, she’s staring through me--like I’m nothing more than a thin curtain on a cloudless day during high noon. “I’ll inform the others.” 

“You’ll inform them of nothing I don’t approve of.” He’s fierce, the threat of venom apparent in each syllable. “And it’d do you well to meet the Sun Summoner’s gaze with a little more respect.” 

I’m quick to grab his forearm, desperate to articulate how much I’d rather him not pick this fight--not when most can barely stand me, not when the more I think of Zoya’s look I realize any bitterness towards me is something else. Not hatred, no--resentment. The kind of resentment that’s only ever a byproduct of something else. If I was bolder, I’d assume it a look of jealousy--maybe not over the man, but the attention and praise received for being nothing more than new and shiny. Her eyebrows knit together as Aleksander’s hold on me adjusts slightly. Okay, maybe the fact that I’m with Aleksander has something to do with it--but it has to be more than that. Her dislike of me, her constant myriad of comments and looks all points to a jealousy much more bitter than that of someone love sick. 

If something in her has been broken over time here, time around Kirigan and his pension for manipulating that I am not blind to and my presence and joy is a reminder of that, than I can bear her hatred. “She was looking at me normally.” Before he can challenge me, I move his hands off of me gently and slip away from between him and the wall. 

I guess that’s what it takes for him to understand that I mean it, Aleksander straightens and takes a step forward. His eyes linger on me as he walks forward. I stay a few steps behind him, a pathetic attempt to cling to any kind of properness I can manage. 

“If I were you, I’d at least comb your hair with your fingers before entering that room again unless you’d like to announce yourself as a form of entertainment.” 

Being a decent person is nauseating sometimes. “And take the fun out of it for you?” 

I don’t wait for her reply, moving down the hall to catch up with Aleksander. Still, when I’m no longer next to Zoya I brush my fingers through my hair in hopes of correcting any damage she’s created. Maybe I should be more worried. Maybe I should care about the opinions of others more. But every reason to stay away from Aleksander entirely feels so small. I’m not naive enough to fall blindly, but the thing about being a Sun Summoner is that you can bring light with you, no matter how dark the path you chose is. 

I watch Aleksander as he places a hand on the door to the room. He offers me one last, genuine smile. His path isn’t as dark as he wants it to seem, and even if it is, I don’t care. 

[miyagihawk]

“idfc; blackbear (again it’s so easily related to hawk vibes, maybe he’s afraid to open up again for a relationship after moon so he acts like he doesn’t care about the reader but the mfs actually so in love😩✋🏻)” - @hawkwhore

ugh i love this sm and blackbear 😛 ty for the request as always <3

idfc | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

warnings: just cursing?

summary: based on idfc by blackbear :) hawk doesn’t like you and you don’t know why

a/n: soooo i kinda strayed from the song LOL sorry but this is kinda more cutesy and less angsty than the song. i actually like it though :)

You don’t know why he seemed to hate you.

Ever since you walked into the dojo for the first time, it was like you couldn’t escape his death stare.

Eventually, you got closer to Miguel, his best friend, so you two started going to the same parties and hanging out more often. But he never seemed to warm up to you.

Miguel said Hawk was just intimidated by you because you always beat him when Sensei calls you both to spar. So you let him win one time, but he seemed to hate you even more after.

Which is why you started Operation Get Hawk To Like Me.

It seemed like a fun challenge to get the broody boy to enjoy your company, but you also sincerely wanted to be friends with him. When he would laugh with Miguel and he smiled like the sun, it made you sad that he was so cold towards you but so warm towards others. You wanted the sun.

You decided that the first part of O.G.H.T.L.M was to subtlety be nicer; you didn’t want to be desperately kind out of nowhere and make him dislike you even more.

“Hey!” you called after the red haired boy who was about to open the door to the dojo.

Hawk turned around slowly at the sound of your voice, and you winced at the annoyed look on his face.

“I- uh, I got this for you,” you held out a blueberry smoothie. When everyone hung out at Golf N Stuff, you saw that he got that flavor and took a mental note.

The boy stood in front of you with a twisted face, not reaching out to take the drink. “Why?” he asked.

You shifted awkwardly, feeling nervous under his stare. Was this too forward? “Um... I accidentally got an extra one?” you made the excuse lamely. “Just take it.”

“Give it to Miguel,” Hawk turned around and sauntered into the dojo, leaving you with a frown. But you wiped off any trace of your disappointed expression and walked into practice too.

-

You tried everything.

You waved at him every time you passed each other in the halls. You got him drinks at parties and you even offered to be the designated driver so that he could get wasted with Miguel.

When you two sparred, you lost on purpose each time. Sensei even pulled you aside to ask if something was wrong. “Hawk is getting better,” was all you said, but he didn’t seem convinced.

The list of things you were trying to do for Operation Get Hawk To Like Me seemed endless and you were totally kissing his ass. His feelings about you weren’t budging, and it seemed like this was just a hopeless mission.

“I just don’t get why he hates me so much. I’m trying so hard,” you groaned.

“Maybe that’s why. You’re trying too hard,” Miguel said across from you with a mouthful of fries.

“Well I don’t know what to do then. I want him to know I’m trying.”

“He knows,” your best friend nodded his head nonchalantly.

Your face scrunched up in confusion, causing Miguel to give you an amused look. “Then why doesn’t he care? I’m starting to think there’s just something wrong with me,” you huffed, crossing your arms.

“You should just talk to him if it’s bothering you so much,” Miguel shrugged.

“I guess I should,” you slumped, feeling intimidated by the thought of confronting Hawk. Was it even worth it? If he didn’t want to be your friend now, then what would change if you talked to him? If he would even agree to talk.

-

Tonight. The final step that would determine if you were going to give up on Hawk.

The truth is, it really hurt your feelings how little he cared about you. And it hurt even more when you went out of your way to get him to even acknowledge you as an acquaintance.

You don’t know why it affected you so badly; maybe you’ve always had a teensy crush on him. And maybe this little plan you formulated was actually motivated by your subconscious desire to really get to know him, even though you passed it off as wanting to simply be his friend.

So tonight, at the party you were all going to, you were going to talk to him. And get the truth on why he was so persistent in shoving you away.

“Woah, slow down Y/N. Miss lightweight,” Miguel eyed you cautiously when you downed another cup of beer.

“I just need some liquid courage to face Hawk,” you licked your lips, already feeling the effect of the alcohol clouding your mind. You started to sway without noticing, making Miguel laugh at you amusingly.

“Well good luck with that. But that’s enough, or you won’t even get any words out,” he took the cup from you and you pouted. Miguel subtly motioned behind you, and you turned around to look.

It was the red haired boy you’ve been avoiding all night; the one who made your palms sweat when you thought about the conversation you were planning to have.

But with the alcohol giving you a rush of confidence, you walked up to him with no anxiety. His eyes widened when he saw you rushing forward, and he almost looked afraid.

“Can I talk to you?” you said solidly, feeling braver than you usually are. Hawk looked at you, confused, but nodded to his friends before following you to go somewhere quieter.

He traced behind you as you opened the door to go outside, where there were less people and the music wasn’t so loud.

“Um... is something wrong?” Hawk stood awkwardly in front of you, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“Of course there’s something wrong,” you replied in a meaner tone than you intended, but you brushed off the guilt.

“Well what is it?” he asked in his usual annoyed tone that he used only when he needed to speak to you.

You felt your cheeks heat up with frustration. “Why don’t you like me?” you blurted out, and the expression on his face told you that he wasn’t prepared for it at all.

“W-What?” Hawk stuttered, his previously composed persona was gone.

“Why don’t you like me?” you repeated, more forcefully. “I am so nice to you. But you just hate me and I have no idea why! And you’re just best buds with everyone else, so I know you aren’t incapable of having friends. Do you know how shitty that feels? Especially when I try so hard to just get you to treat me decently!” your mouth ran on and on and words were coming out without you thinking.

Your blurred vision from your anger cleared after you caught your breath, and you focused on his shocked expression. It was the most expression he’s ever shown you.

“I-I-” Hawk stammered, but you cut him off.

“Look, I’ll leave you alone if you just tell me to. But tell me why, so I can give up. I’m sorry, okay? For whatever I’ve done that makes you not even want to be near me. And I don’t even know why I feel like I need you to like me, I just-”

This time he was the one to interrupt you. “I do like you.”

You blinked in confusion, taken aback by his words.

Hawk licked his lips anxiously, taking a breath in before speaking, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a dick. The truth is... I’ve been... um... catching feelings for you. And I guess I was trying to protect myself by pushing you away.”

Your mouth dropped open at his confession. Out of all the responses you were expecting when you were overthinking about the conversation, this one was one you could have never seen coming. But surprisingly, it made your stomach turn and your heartbeat accelerate.

He continued, this time looking into your eyes with his blue ones. “I don’t hate you at all. I just... I just felt like last time I caught feelings for someone I just got hurt. And I was all in, but they weren’t. That’s why I keep myself from getting close to you. I’m sorry Y/N,” Hawk confessed his whole heart, leaving you speechless.

After barely getting a few words out of him everyday, his confession of feelings was overwhelming. But you finally understood him. You knew about his relationship with Moon and how it went down from all the school gossip, but for some reason you never pieced together that it was why his guard was up so high.

“I don’t really know what to say,” you admitted, still feeling woozy from both the alcohol and his speech. You weren’t sure about your feelings and you didn’t want to say something you didn’t mean. Yes, you had feelings for him too, but everything was going so fast.

Hawk gave you a smile that calmed you from your worry. “It’s okay, sorry. It was a lot. But if you still want we can be friends.” He reached out his hand for you to shake and confirm your partnership.

Instead of taking it, you took him by surprise by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He melted into the hug after a few seconds, and you smiled from behind his view. “Friends,” you pulled away and he beamed at you warmly.

You finally got the sun.

a/n: omg bye this was not like the song at all SORRY there wasn’t that much action it was just fluffy IVE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH MIRACULOUS LADYBUG like they r so soft and u can see the influence of it on my writing lmaoo anyways hope u enjoyed!! :)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Azusa Maniac [05]

ー The scene starts on the balcony at the Sakamaki Castle

Yui: Haah...I can’t sleep for some reason...

( I didn’t think we’d end up coming to the Demon World... )

( Right now there might not be too much to worry about since I’m together with everyone, with Azusa-kun...But still. )

I hope we can go back to our old lifestyle soon...

ー Azusa approaches her

Azusa: Yui-san...

Yui: ...Azusa-kun. What brings you here?

( I was convinced he was asleep...Did I wake him up, perhaps? )

Azusa: ...I heard the sound of you leaving the room, so I followed you here. 

Yui: Do you need me for anything? 

Azusa: No, that’s not it. I just don’t want to be away from you, not even for a single second...

Yui: ...Eh?

Azusa: I’m anxious.

Yui: Anxious...? What is making you so scared...?

Azusa: ...I don’t know. But right now, I don’t want us to be separated. 

If we’re even the slightest bit apart, it feels as if my heart is being crushed underneath these feelings of uncertainty...

Yui: ( We haven’t had to worry about our pursuers as of late, nor have there been any arguments with the Sakamaki’s, so it’s been rather peaceful. )

( I wonder why...? I feel as if Azusa-kun is growing more unstable with each passing day. )

Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. 

I’ll be with you forever. Didn’t I tell you that before?

So please, trust me? 

Azusa: ...But...

ー He pins her down

*Thud*

Yui: Kyahーー!!

Azusa: Seems like I just can’t.

I want to have faith in you. ...But when all I have is a spoken promise, I’m afraid my trust will be betrayed.

Eve, I’m begging you. Please don’t see anyone but me...

Make me feel at least a little more relieved by doing so...?

Yui: I-I can’t do that...

Azusa: Why...? How come...?

Yui: I mean, there’s a bunch of other Vampires living at this castle besides us. 

There’s Ruki-kun, Kou-kun and Yuma-kun, as well as the Sakamaki brothers...

Azusa: ...Why!?

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...Stop...!

( What has gotten into you, Azusa-kun!? He won’t listen to me at all... )

( He won’t trust me on my word... )

( This isn’t the Azusa-kun I know and love... )

...Uu...

Azusa: ーー ! Eve, are you crying...?

Yui: I’m...not...

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( ...! He stepped back... )

Azusa: I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...

I don’t want to cause you distress. ...Yet.

I end up trying to bind you to me against your will by doing these kinds of things...

Even though I know that’ll only make you dislike me even more...

Yui: ...Azusa-kun...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( His hand holding onto my clothes...It’s shaking like crazy. )

( I wish I could take away his worries, even if just for now... )

Selection

→ Hold his hand (M)

Yui: ...Hey, Azusa-kun. If you want to hold onto something, why not this instead of my clothes? 

Azusa: Eh? ...Your hand? 

*Rustle*

Yui: ...What do you say? Doesn’t this put you at ease more? 

Azusa: ...Yeah, it does. Your hand is warm...and also very soft.

→ What should I do...? (S)

Yui: ( I wonder what I could do to distract him from his worries? )

Azusa: ...I’m sorry. Seems like I made you scared as well. 

Yui: That’s not true. 

*Rustle*

Yui: See? My hand isn’t shaking.

Azusa: ...Yeah.

Your hand is so very warm. Thank you...Eve.

Yui: ...Don’t worry. Everything will be okay, Azusa-kun.

*Rustle*

Azusa: Yui-san...

Yui: While I can’t only ever spend time with you,

I can hold your hand like this until those feelings of uncertainty melt away.

I won’t let go, until you calm down, okay? 

Azusa: Thank you...

*Rustle*

Azusa: ...When we’re like this, I feel a little more peaceful inside. 

I can tell myself that my existence is validated...It’s fine for me to be here, right? 

I can be yours, right...?

Yui: Exactly. You are mine, and I am yours. 

Even if someone were to shun me for it, it’d be the one time...I refuse to yield. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Maniac 04 ] [ Maniac 06 ] ->

[writingsoftheghost]

Oblivious

Analogince get together story

Logan and Roman had been together for awhile, and they loved their relationship. But...when Virgil started joining the group more and more, the pair couldn’t help but let their attention wander.

It’s not that they loved each other any less, they just...both liked Virgil too. Roman felt bad about it, that is until Logan brought it up.

“I’m sorry!” Roman cries, “I didn’t mean to-”

Logan holds up a hand, “I’m not angry, Roman. Quite the opposite, actually, I’ve also found myself”-he coughs slightly, a red tint dusting across his cheeks- “Captivated by Virgil.”

Roman grins, “Really?”

“Yes, I have to say I find him quite endearing. Do you think it’s at all possible for him to engage in a romantic relationship with us?” He cocks his head to the side, a thoughtful scowl on his face.

Roman nods excitedly, “Oh, I think it’s possible.”

***

Virgil was sitting on the couch, when Roman decided to strike first.

“Hey, Hot Topic.” Roman plops down next to Virgil on the couch, closer than he’d ever sat before.

Virgil looks up from his phone for a second rolling his eyes slightly, “Aw, you think I’m hot.” 

“Mm-hmm,” Roman nods. Virgil nearly chokes. “What are you up to?” The prince continues smoothly.

“I...um-nothing?” The anxious side answers. 

“Well, that doesn’t sound very fun,” Roman purses his lips in a half pout, “What do you say we watch a movie?

Virgil shrugs, beginning to regain his composure, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Roman nods, he looks at Virgil for way too long and the anxious side can feel his face heating up again, “Why don’t you choose a movie?”

Virgil shrugs, “You can pick, we should invite Logan, though.” He’s hoping he doesn’t come across as desperate as he actually is. He knows bringing the prince’s boyfriend into the mix would take most attention away from him.

“That’s a lovely idea, I’m sure he’d love to join us.” Roman disappears for a brief period of time, returning with a smiling Logan.

“Hello, Virgil. How are you?” He smiles at Virgil warmly. 

“Good. Do you want to pick the movie?”

Logan hums, “Roman and I would rather have you pick.”

Virgil looks at them both strangely, but he picks out a movie, nonetheless.

Twenty minutes into the movie, Virgil notices both Roman and Logan glancing over at him periodically.

He tugs at his sleeves anxiously, had he done something wrong? They were acting weird. 

He wanted to leave the room now, it felt too tense and it was making it hard to focus on the movie.

He makes a small show out of glancing at the clock, “Oh, I should probably get to bed...” He glances at them, hoping he sounds convincing. His heart drops when he sees Logan’s brow furrow.

“You don’t usually go to bed this early, is everything alright?

Virgil tries to mask the massive breath he sucks in, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t sleep great last night. I’m gonna try to make up for it tonight.”

Logan’s frown deepens and Roman’s face falls too, nevertheless they let him go.

“Goodnight, Vee,” Roman calls up the stairs, “See you tomorrow.”

The couple turn to each other as soon as they hear the door to Virgil’s room shut.

Time for plan B.

*****

Logan packs a simple lunch pack, he smiles as he makes Virgil’s favorite finger foods. This plan was much more practical, he told himself.

Roman has left to ask Virgil to “hang out” for the day, Logan hopes he’d be able to convince him, he seemed uneasy the other night during their movie. Roman and Logan spent the last day coming up with this plan, as simple as it was, they thought it would work, Virgil preferred things to be simple after all. He and Logan were alike in that regard.

Logan smiles softly at the thought, however, he was quickly pulled back to reality by the sound of Virgil and Roman approaching.

“Im sure you and Logan would have more fun without me,” Virgil was saying.

“Nonsense, Logan and I both wish for you to join us.”

“Unless you really don’t want to,” Logan interrupts the pair as he steps into the living room.

“I...” Virgil’s eyes fall on the basket of food, “What did you two have planned?”

“We were just gonna go have a quiet lunch in the imagination,” Logan explains.

“And you two,” Virgil looks between the couple, confused, “Want me to come with you?”

Logan nods, “We would greatly appreciate your company.”

Virgil takes a deep breath, “Okay, I guess, as long as you’re both sure.” He glances at both of them, searching for any hint of malice or dislike, he felt bad about ruining their alone time, why would they want him to join them?

Roman smiles at him softly, “It’ll be fun, Virgil. The fresh air will be good for you.”

Virgil shrugs, “I don’t need fresh air, Princey.”

Logan grabs their lunch and Roman’s hand, “Are you both ready to go?”

Roman nods enthusiastically, “Been ready for hours! You take forever to make food!”

Logan rolls his eyes, “I like things to be done well, Roman, sometimes that takes a little extra time.”

Roman huffs, “You need anything before we leave, Virge?”

Virgil shrugs, “I don’t know, do I need to bring anything?”

“I wouldn’t think so, I’ve packed and prepared for just about everything that we’d need,” Logan assures.

“Okay,” Virgil mumbles, “‘Guess Im ready.”

“Wonderful!” Before Logan can stop him Roman reaches out and grabs Virgil’s hand.

Virgil flinches, but doesn’t pull away fully, he tries not to let Roman see the look of shock and confusion on his face.

Roman loosens his grip on Virgil’s hand slightly, worried he may have upset him, but then Virgil gives a soft squeeze and then, just like that, they’re holding hands, and Roman is leading the way to the imagination with the biggest smile he thinks he’s ever had.

Logan and Roman had already scouted the area they were going to eat at, a nice open field, perfect for easing a certain side’s parano-vigilance. The field contained a total of six trees, so it wasn’t like there could be anything lurking in the shadows.

Logan laid out a soft blanket, one with a texture that they knew Virgil liked, under the biggest tree.

Virgil sat himself on the edge of the blanket furthest from Logan and Roman. It was a big enough blanket for the distance to be noticeable, it made Logan worry that Virgil didn’t want to be there with them.

He had expected Virgil to be a little suspicious, even a little distant, at least at first, Logan knew this would be strange to him, he doubted the socially distant trait had ever been courted before.

“Virgil?” He asks in a calm tone, “Would you like some juice?” He’d been careful to avoid caffeine, knowing it could potentially highten Virgil’s anxiety.

Virgil shrugs, “I guess.”

Logan takes out the bottle of grape juice and the glasses he’d packed carefully earlier that day. When he offers Virgil a glass, he realizes that either he will have to move, or Virgil will have to move, go bridge the distance across the blanket.

Virgil makes the decision rather quickly, darting over and taking the glass from Logan, “Thank you.” He starts to shuffle back to his corner when Roman stops him.

“Why don’t you sit in the middle, Vee? That way you can reach the food?”

Virgil looks to the ground, “Didn’t want to invade your space.”

Logan frowns when he notices the hesitancy in the other’s voice, as if he isn’t sure he’s wanted. Which Logan couldn’t help but groan internally at, they’d invited him and he still feels like an intruder, anxiety truly was devoid of any logic.

“Virgil,” he holds out his hand towards the other in invitation, “You know we want you here, don’t you?”

Virgil won’t look at him, Logan sighs, “You’re more than welcome, here. We invited you, why would we invite you if we wanted you to just sit by yourself quietly? Hm?”

Virgil shrugs, “Dunno,” he mumbles.

“Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable, stormcloud?” Roman interjects in a gentle tone, he’s aware of the tension in the way Virgil’s sitting now.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says shakily, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s alright,” Roman whispers, “You wanna go back? I’m sorry we pressured you to come.”

Virgil shakes his head firmly, “I wanna stay, I just…don’t want to be in the way. It kinda feels like I’m intruding on a date, why was I the only person you invited? You know Patton loves outdoor lunches.”

“We know, Virgil, we just…” Logan looks at Roman, Roman gives a small head shake and Logan sighs, “We just wanted to spend time with you. We didn’t mean to make you feel awkward, we’re sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, I don’t know why I’m being so weird about it, but,” and he slowly slides his hand into Logan’s open one on the blanket, “I think I’ll be okay, now.”

“Are you sure? It really isn’t a problem if you want to go home?” Roman assures.

Virgil nods his head, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Logan smiles and squeezes his hand softly, they all know Virgil likes physical reassurance sometimes, and they’re glad he’s started accepting, and even asking for it on occasion. Patton has to remind himself constantly that Virgil has to be the one to initiate it, however.

Roman pulls out plates and food from the pack, Virgil tries to give Logan back his hand, but he’s quickly stopped, “Please don’t let go until you’re ready, okay?” Logan smiles at him, “My right hand is fully capable of doing this alone, I promise.”

Roman hands him a plate and asks Virgil what he’d like.

They eat comfortably, Virgil relaxes enough to let go of Logan’s hand, but moves closer to him and Roman anyway. Virgil talks about Halloween coming up and Logan tells him that he’s already put horror movies into the schedule for that month.

When they finish their food they continue to sit there and talk quietly. A soft breeze blowing through the field making the place even more peaceful. They were all enjoying a moment of quiet when…

Hic!

Roman sits up and stares at a blushing Virgil in shock.

The emo side ducks his head, “Shut up, Pri-hic!-ncey,” he says in an attempt at a growl.

Roman smirks, “Is there a problem, Virgil? You seem to be having a bit of trouble.”

Logan giggles, “You don’t need to be embarrassed about the hiccups, Virgil. Everyone gets them.”

“I don’t—hic—have the hiccups!” He grumbles.

Roman laughs and Logan laughs, Virgil glares at them both for a moment, but he can’t hold it for very long before he’s laughing too.

“Stop laughing at me!” He shouts between giggles.

“I don’t think,” Roman wheezes, “I’ve ever seen you hiccup before.”

“Shut—hic—up!” Virgil shoves him off the blanket with a laugh.

Roman sits back on the blanket, “Gosh, you’re adorable.”

Virgil and Logan both freeze, Virgil glancing nervously at Logan, Logan and Roman both looking at him, horrified at the thought that they’d just blown it.

“I—uh—”Virgil is still staring at Logan, a look of fear in his voice. Virgil looks at him, the face of logic not giving him any ideas as to what he’s supposed to do. He shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says softly.

Roman sucks in a harsh breath, understanding the apology as a gentle rejection.

They sit in awkward silence for an eternity.

“Perhaps it’s…time we head back?” Logan suggests in a quiet tone.

Virgil’s heart drops as he decidedly believes Logan hates him now. “Yeah-Yeah, sure.”

They walk back in silence. Virgil stuffs his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking. Roman and Logan keep glancing at him, both taking his silence as a sign of discomfort.

They allow him to go to his room, wincing at the sound of his door shutting softly, not even a slam.

“I ruined it,” Roman whispers sadly.

Logan shakes his head, “We still have a chance, Love.”

Roman shakes his head, “He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“He couldn’t stop looking to me,” Logan whispers back, “I didn’t know what to say, I chose a cowards way out. I fled.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Roman places a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I messed this up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up,” Logan wraps his arms around Roman’s neck and kisses a tear sliding down his cheek. “We should give him some space, we can check back in tomorrow.”

Roman nods and allows Logan to lead him to bed, not really believing any of the logical side’s attempts to reassure him.

*****

Virgil stays in his room through breakfast. Roman liked him. He should be happy! He likes Roman! But…he likes Logan too, and he’d never wanted to get between them like this.

Logan told him it was alright, Virgil took that to mean that he didn’t really blame him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset. He can only imagine the fight he and Roman probably had last night.

Virgil’s heart skips a beat when he thinks about the two of them breaking up.

He didn’t know what he did to ever catch Creativity’s attention but he wished he hadn’t done it. He felt truly awful for doing this to them.

“Kiddo,” there’s a knock at his bedroom door, “You need to eat lunch, it’s almost 1:30.” Patton sounds worried, Virgil hasn’t locked himself in his room like this since he ducked out.

“I’m not hungry, Pat. I’ll eat later.”

Patton frowns, “Virge?” He asks hesitantly. “Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me if you need to?”

“I’m fine, Pops.”

Patton isn’t convinced, “Hey…you don’t have to talk about it, but if you don’t want to be by yourself you can come to my room? Might help to be somewhere else for awhile?”

Virgil sighs, “you sure?”

“Of course.”

Virgil opens the door and Patton gives him a sad smile, “come on, I’ll get you something to eat and some tea.”

Virgil nods, “Thank you.”

Patton sits down on his bed next to Virgil, passing him a sandwich and some chips.

“I messed up,” Virgil whispers as he takes a chip.

Patton looks at him in surprise, “What did you mess up, Virge?”

“Logan and Roman, I messed up their relationship. They’re fighting and it’s all my fault.”

Patton scoots closer, “I didn’t know they were fighting. How is it your fault, honey?”

“I just…I don’t know why, they invited me out to lunch with them, and it…it was weird! But then it wasn’t, and it was nice, but…Roman called me adorable and I…I like him, but he’s Logan’s boyfriend and I never wanted to hurt Logan because I like him too and I just… Logan probably hates me now, and Roman and Logan might break up and it’ll be all my fault and there’s no way I can ever make it up to him!” Virgil’s breathless when he finishes. He doesn’t know when he started crying.

Patton shakes his head, he remembers when Logan and Roman told him they liked Virgil. When Logan had asked him what Virgil’s favorite foods were. How Patton made them both promise they would be patient and gentle with Virgil’s already shot nerves.

He can’t help but be a little upset with them for letting Virgil wallow in this all day. He pushes that feeling aside, and decides to help his three hopeless friends out.

“Virge, I can assure you, Roman and Lo are gonna be just fine. But I think you should go talk to them about this. I think there might’ve been a bit of a mix up.”

Virgil cocks his head, “What do you mean?”

Patton shakes his head again, “They’re not fighting, kiddo. I promise, just go talk to them.”

“But I—”

“Trust me.”

And with that Patton is nudging him towards the door and Virgil’s in the hall.

He glances worriedly back at the father figure.

“They’re in Logan’s room last I saw.” Patton shuts the door.

Virgil feels a slight sting of betrayal at having been abandoned to face the pair alone, but he approaches the door anyway.

He stands there for two and a half minutes before knocking.

“What is it?” Logan calls through the door.

“It’s—um—it’s me, I think maybe I need to—”

The door swings open, “Virgil?”

The logical side looks as if he hasn’t slept well, Roman is standing behind him in a similar state. Virgil can just barely see the whiteboard on the back wall covered in incomprehensible diagrams and cluster graphs.

“Hey…” he gives a weird little half wave for some reason he doesn’t understand.

“Are you…alright?” Roman asks hesitantly.

“Me?” Virgil asks in confusion, “Are you two okay?”

Logan nods, “We’re dreadfully sorry, we didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that, we—”

“I got carried away, Virgil. I’m sorry,” Roman cuts Logan off.

“You couldn’t help yourself, I shouldn’t have chosen such an intimate activity for us,” Logan defends his boyfriend.

“No, this is my fault. I’m the one that put the pressure on him.”

“Love, I should’ve planned for this. I know you can’t help yourself when it comes to your feelings.”

“You can’t plan for everything. I should’ve—”

“Hold on a second!” Virgil interrupts, “Did I miss something? What are you two arguing over?”

“It doesn’t matter, Virgil,” Logan composes himself, “We both apologize for making you uncomfortable. It was not our intention, regardless, we understand if you do not wish to go on anymore dates with us”

Virgil stares at him in complete in total confusion. “Dates?”

Roman’s eyes widen, “Surely you’re aware of what we’ve been doing. We took you to a romantic lunch! We’ve been flirting with you constantly! What did you think was happening?”

Virgil looks at Logan, the logical side gives a small smile and a nod. “I thought,” Virgil starts, “I don’t know, I guess I just thought we were hanging out, and then I guess I thought Roman was hitting on me. I didn’t realize Logan was.”

“So that’s why you acted so upset,” Roman mumbles.

“Ah, I see. My advances are less…direct,” Logan explains sheepishly.

Virgil nods, “Yeah I got that now, but I thought…that I’d ruined your relationship! That I’d broken you up or something! Oh my god I hardly slept at all last night!”

Logan winces sympathetically, “We didn’t either, but we’re very sorry for distressing you.”

“It’s fine,” Virgil shrugs it off. “But you guys…both of you…want to date me?”

“Of course, if you’d allow us,” Logan smiles, “We both find you quite endearing. Would you be willing to let us continue to romance you?”

“Logan, you make it sound so formal,” roman laughs, but he has an excited gleam in his eye, “You wanna date us, Virgil? You can say no, it’s okay, but if the answer is yes we’d both be delighted to have you as our boyfriend.”

Virgil can’t help it, he’s skeptical, this feels too much like something he’d dream up, he looks both of them in the face, hunting for any sign of a joke or a lie. There isn’t any, just encouraging smiles.

“Yeah, I’d…I’d like that a whole lot.”

He’s quickly wrapped in two pairs of arms, happy laughter filling his ears.

—————

@idont-freaking-know @aceawkwardunicorn @cute-and-angsty-princess @emo--nightmaree @a-yeet-bop-bop-boom @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @katlikethesword @tranquil-space-ninja @book-limerence

[dolliedarlin]

Hi I’m one of the anons who’s obsessing over the P.A series!!!!! For some reason my brain has been full w diff things that could happen IDKKK! Hope u don’t mind if I dump a few....

TW: this is A bunch of rambling and some grammar errors LMAO sorry

Idk y I c y/n having a stalker💀 this prob sounds rlly weird but hear me out. (To add drama, also I Lowkey wanna c Mina,Sero and kiri get mad idk y-)

Since we all know y/n is the baddest most sophisticated b*tch (sorry idk if I’m allowed to cuss or not LMAO) her Ex lover is still obsessed w her and thinks that they are soulmate even tho they obv aren’t. I feel like y/n knows he stalks her but she ignores it until it gets worst. Like he found out where she lives. (He finds out where she lives while she’s sick which is now loll)

Anyways I feel like Mina would be over at y/ns place and since she’s getting better they are In her living room talking abt who knows what and y/n gets a knock on her door she goes to open it and admittedly closes it looking shocked. Mina being a pro hero is  supposed to be able to read body language. Mina ask her if everything is Alr and y/n OFC (stupid a**) says yes. Mina didn’t want to keep pressing the issue so she dropped it until it became a reoccurring thing with y/n and it’s not just her that noticed. She (y/n) is extremely hesitant to open the door and when she does she opens it a little bit. (And then idk her EX does crazy like breaks into her apt and scares the sh** outa y/n) THIS IS WHERE MY BIG IDEA STOPS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 that was a lotta rambling my apologies

Have a great day dollie!

oh no! please don’t feel bad, it’s always fun for me seeing what you dolls would want to happen next

although i don’t plan on bringing any psycho exes into ‘the p.a’ series, as a writer and an avid daydreamer, i can’t help but play around with this idea 

warning: there are brief mentions of violence ; this is not a part of ‘the p.a’ series but is just a little thought that i just couldn’t help but try my own hand at also ; i didn’t edit this either 😂 so kindly forgive any grammatical/spelling mistakes 

continuing on from your idea...

⏤mina, having the sneaking suspicion that something bad might happen to you that night, notifies the rest of the group later on that day

⏤usually, bakugou was in charge of you during the night and always sat in a chair beside your bed on high alert, ready to serve your every need...

⏤BUT!

⏤now that mina told them about your suspicious behaviour, all of them were put on high alert. 

⏤they all agreed to keep you unaware of their intentions by having bakugou take care of you like usual but they made sure that when on the night patrol, they were close by with their radios on and constantly being hyper aware of the shortest route to your residence from wherever they were situated - just in case of an emergency 

⏤naturally, they trusted bakugou with keeping you safe but that didn’t mean that they had no worries for you at all 

⏤seeing as you usually feel asleep before bakugou switched with the sero, who took care of you in the late evening, you were under the impression that you were alone at home 

⏤your current condition disallowed you from comfortably staying awake so you were constantly tossing and turning in bed, brows furrowed and sweating more than usual

⏤”what is she dreaming about?” bakugou utters in frustration as he continues to wipe away the vastly accumulating sweat rom your wrinkled brows

⏤he wasn’t frustrated at you no no, he was annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t make you comfortable no matter how many wet towels he uses to cook your forehead or wipe your sweat clean off your skin 

⏤as the night progresses, you eventually fall into a dreamless sleep, far too exhausted to continue stressing over your ex with the added burden of your fever on your body

⏤nevertheless, bakugou continues being on high alert at all times except for when he momentarily leaves to room so as to go to the toilet 

⏤this was the perfect opportunity for your crazy ex to sneak into your room via the window bakugou left ajar so as to help cool you down better 

⏤your ex was a creepy and disgusting man - someone that you had grown to dislike the more you got to know him and naturally left as quickly as you were able to 

⏤what followed was harassment to the highest degree, thankfully you were able to protect yourself due to your self defence training and quirk, however, it didn’t take away the shuddering feeling of being watched constantly

⏤you grew paranoid and extremely fidgety over time and eventually filled for a restraining order. unfortunately, that didn’t work and left you to deal with the situation yourself

⏤you were naive enough to think that you had shaken him after a particularly horrible beating he took from you in self defence. he had come at you with a knife but you were able to disarm him and send him limping home with a dislocated arm, a black eye and a bruised ribcage 

⏤over time, you got busy with work and slowly forgot about him, it wasn’t until today that you were reminded of his crazy obsession with you and were thrown into a panic 

⏤believing that you were alone at night and in your most vulnerable state, you didn’t feel safe and sought to deal with the situation however you could, even in your dreams

⏤all attempts were in vain, however

⏤bakugou, returning from his momentary break to the toilet came back just in time to see your creepy ex hovering over your sleeping figure. as if you sensed the unpleasant existence stalking you, your body stiffened under the blankets and you began to breathe uncomfortably, beginning to sweat bucket-fulls once more

⏤not wanting to disturb your sleep as rest was the top priority for you, bakugou crept up from behind the unknown figure and instantly went for his neck, choking him into silence as he dragged his thrashing figure outside, far away from you all the while sending a emergency signal to the rest of the squad 

⏤in no time at all, the rest of the squad arrived and had your crazy ex cornered. at this time he had already been tied up by bakugou and was ready for a quick chat 

⏤”what the hell were you doing with our yn?” kirishima began, sharp teeth grinding together as he clenched his jaw 

⏤silence 

⏤”speak up, we can’t fucking hear you,” bakugou spat as the others glared on from beside him, their eyes piercing through the moonlight and darkness of the night 

⏤”y-yn isn’t yours - that’s the first thing,” your ex finally cracked, giggling creepily in between 

⏤”you’re right,” sero began, “yn doesn’t belong to anyone so why were did you break into her house,” it took everything in sero not to lash out but they needed answers

⏤”wrong again!” your ex sang, “she doesn’t belong to you, she belongs to me! i’m her boyfriend!”

⏤”yn doesn’t have a boyfriend,” kaminari spoke up

⏤”that’s right! and if she did, we would have known,” mina agreed

⏤“that’s because she doesn’t know it yet, we broke up but we’ll get back together again soon” the tied up man giggled to himself, “it’s only a matter of time before she realises her mistake and she comes back to me,” 

⏤the team of heroes didn’t know what to say, they were so shocked and appalled at what they were seeing and hearing that they couldn’t bring themselves to utter a single word of response, they only listened further

⏤”i hoped she’d come back soon, anyway...but i was getting impatient so i had to try and convince her a little more. she’s been ignoring my love for her all this time, she can’t continue rejecting me for long...” he laughs, “i bet she misses it”

⏤“miss what...?” bakugou didn’t want to know but it had to be said

⏤”i bet she misses being with me. she’s so beautiful and so soft to the touch, she always smells good too and she has such a lovely voice - i want her all to myself, she doesn’t deserve to be anybody else’s”

⏤it was then that the team of heroes just about lost their minds. the creep before them didn’t say anything explicit but the madness in his eyes and the harrowing smile he was displaying was off putting. they dread to imagine what a lowlife nasty sob like him put you through but they saw flashes of unforgivable scenes that sent all of them into insanity 

⏤someone so precious to them didn’t deserve any such treatment. you may not have disclosed anything to them strict on being professional but if this man was willing to break into your house...they were fearful to think about what else he was capable of

⏤he deserved a beating from that act alone, actually, and a beating he got

⏤they could’ve killed the guy - they were more than tempted to and it would have been so easy...but he deserved to suffer in jail for his crimes against you so they held back no matter how painful that was for them 

⏤the very next day, under their authority and recommendation, the man was locked up for as many years as they could tally up and seeing as they were heroes, they were able to look into his past documentations and found you had filed a restraining order for him under harassment, assault and a number of other things they grew all the more furious at the more the read

⏤they would prefer it if you didn’t realise what they did that night but the media couldn’t let the story of 5 high class pro heroes sending a singular, beaten man to jail for life

⏤your creepy ex’s battered photos were all over the news and you were so incredibly grateful  

[nuclearforest]

12, 13, 16, 23 and 30 for the ask? (Only if you feel like answering them all. It's a lot but I am curious lol)

Rotten I am a slut for rambling on and on and if you (or anybody else who wants to chat) ask i will alWAYs answer. So thank you lmao.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

tbh this one was like, a long time coming but long ago I used to hate the idea of mary sue/gary stu. mostly because i was concerned about being too carefree and wanting to be far too serious/anti-cringe as i am a wee bean terrified of scorn (i didn't actually share ANY fic until One Dog Night). (and this is like, a years long thing. i used to hate it, spent a long time not caring, and now i encourage it lol).

anyway the fuckin minute i started working on getting over myself and just enjoying stuff because it's made? honestly helped. so go and make whatever OC you want overpowered because you can have a convincing story even with a perfect character. sometimes you just gotta have fun and the perfect character is the way to do it.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

this one's hard. the things that i like i don't tend to let go of easily (surprise, surprise?). i promise i'm sitting here thinking and trying, but i will have to get back to you on this one if i can even think of it lmao. it's like the time you asked for my fav ships and i sat there agonizing like "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT" because i'm a filthy casual and appreciate a wide variety of things without selling my soul to them. (and yeah i am still scratching my head at that one, too).

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

ok other than the "office predators working on their home planet in mundanity" AU that we briefly discussed today, i kinda love slapping really intense characters into like. slice of life settings (and sometimes the reverse can be pretty damn funny, too. i probably just like the whiplash tbh). so Hellsing, for example, would see the big three being rivals at the local remote town's firehall's bingo night or something. (anybody wanna take that idea and run?)

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

i know i write a lot for my beloved stinky wolfman but i keep stumbling on the idea of how Doc made Schrodinger (I wanna know what experiments he ran) and desperately want to use all my knowledge for the dumbest purposes just to write about Doc giving people acute radiation syndrome in the pursuit of creating a supersoldier. and then failing. many times. atomic science was running wild in the early 40s.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

so i don't know if i'm out here writing too much of the same shit or if my comfort zone is just hella broad, but i can't think of much that i've written outside (i mean, i doubt i'll ever touch something like noncon which sits outside my writing comfort zone). i mean, closest to answer your question was the two male reader inserts because i don't know if i could give a good fic experience with them! and i got some warm reception and don't feel like i did awful, so i am interested in continuing to try it out as time and inspiration allow.