#to make me genuinely care about the actual christian devil himself

[kai-keda]

So uh...

Hi, hello, I am very Catholic.

And Hazbin Hotel has me calling Lucifer "My Poor Little Meow Meow"

I think I like this show

[softkuna]

Sukuna || Concert || Fic

Part 2 (oc) Part 2 (reader)

Content   ║  Sukuna x Reader 

His vocals held that pompous cockiness he was renowned for. It dripped down with the sweat along his neck and chest. His bandmates followed yet were lost in their own worlds. They let the instruments take control of them. You would never admit that you liked the music, either. It was that 90’s punk-grunge Christian parents thought lead to devil worship. The screams weren’t for the devil, no. They worshipped The King of Curses. Now you understood why.

Count      ║ 1,664 words.

Consider ║ Cursing. Sukuna being kind of being a dick. Female reader. Grammar issues most likely ^^”

Creator   ║ So uh…. I saw a photo of Rockstar Sukuna and this happened. Enjoy my self indulgence. Also… Song for Reference.

Ryoumen Sukuna positioned himself on stage. The sea of people were glued to every motion he made. You were one of those people in the front. Dead center. Your editor paid a lot of money for that spot, too, but you still wanted nothing to do with it. Sure, you needed a big story to get out of that damn plateau but this was not what you had in mind. You focused on fashion, not punk boys with eyeliner.

  His face turned to the stage, knees rocking his body to the beginning of a simple, yet effective beat. Broad, muscled shoulder curled forward, securing his zone. But then the guitar came in. A near feral grin ricocheted onto his features as it did. In an explosive leap, his feet left the ground only for the scuffed Doc Martens to slam into the stage at the second beat. Right hand whipped the mic’s wire out of his way, left arm jostled as he started to sing.

  Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can rock

Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can rhyme

Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can fuck

  Docs crashed with every step, their synchronicity with the band behind. One hand kept on the mic, the other whipped its wire out of his way. It wasn’t that he was energetic, no. He was captivating, calculated in every step, yet casual. His control over his body and the crowd… immaculate. It was a precarious balancing act that he pulled off with little to no effort at all. Steps were to the beat, his entire torso being thrown into the movements.

  He wore a white tank top with a breast pocket. The branding of it was recognizable simply by the pristine floral embroidery along the bottom and hems. It hung past the hem of black leather pants. A custom-made silver necklace beat against his chest with each toss of his built physique. You snapped a photo.

  His prowess was obvious, even for someone like yourself who knew not a single lick of rock culture. Even with the vulgar and energetic lyrics, the whirling stop-start slow-fast tempo, Sukuna perfected the music as though he were at one with it. Embodied and embraced it. The sharp smile he threw to the collage of faces before him was the only thing you needed to know that he was in his element.

  His vocals held that pompous cockiness he was renowned for. It dripped down with the sweat along his neck and chest. His bandmates followed yet were lost in their own worlds. They let the instruments take control of them. You would never admit that you liked the music, either. It was that 90’s punk-grunge Christian parents thought lead to devil worship. The screams weren’t for the devil, no. They worshipped The King of Curses. Now you understood why.

The song was strong, heady even. It buzzed throughout your mind and swung at your heart like a right hook. Each punch of the drums was exhilarating. Every kick of the bass left you wanting more. As alive as Sukuna was on stage, you were there feeling it with him.

  The concert went on, moving through each piece like a surging smooth river. It was hard to tell when one song began and the other ended. Whenever you could, you’d snap a photo. There were some good shots in there. Some of his imposing form dangling at the edge of the stage, arms wide out displaying his designer bracelets. Others when he’d toss his entire spine back. The best, though, were when he’d come face to face with the guitarist, his brother, in a beck and call. In their wardrobe, they were a delicate balance of blacks, whites, and coral.

  A certain thrill came about you as you realized the wardrobe of each member reflected their position. They weren’t to outshine him, but they all had a theme. Everything must have been custom ordered and hand tailored. Their entire image was just as important to the show as music. Every photo was set up to illustrated the complementing lights and darks they had set up on stage, a living and breathing portrait of youth.

  You couldn’t help but notice how every time you’d point the camera at him, he’d lock those brilliant eyes onto yours. He recognized you before. How could he not? Out of everyone in the front row, you were the only one wearing some preppy knit dress. He never would have expected to see a face like yours in his crowd. Some rising reporter with a side blog. He never cared about press, but you’ve been making a name for yourself due to your precise analysis of social culture and clothes. He actually thought your last article on street fashion was interesting and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t gawk at your Instagram after. All in all, he kept his glances for your camera instead.

  The stage lighting shifted, illuminating the beads of sweat sparkling along his tatted skin like diamonds. The unnatural redness in his eyes blew an intense gaze across the still crowd. They came to a complete stop. Unease settled into your stomach. This was your cue to go. You knew what would happen next and you weren’t ready for when it did.

  His foot tapped. The guitar started. A mosh pit rioted.

  It was a concert tradition according to the fan page you looked at moments before walking through the door. ‘If you don’t leave with a black eye, did you even go to a Two Faced concert?’ they’d ask.

  Your frame was shoved against the rail, knocking the wind out of you. Bodies collided behind and you felt trapped. Your lungs squeezed and your hands scrambled for your bag. Inhaler. Inhaler. Tightness inflamed your chest as a particularly bulky man squeezed you into the rail. Your hands clasped to inhaler, but before you could press it to your lips, another body collided into you. It clattered a few feet over the rail, hitting the stage. Fuck.

  From the corner of his eyes, he saw it happen. Panic painted across your face as you hauled your torso over the rail. Your arm reached for what was dropped before it immediately covered a coughing fit. What idiot would come to his concert an, his domain, and expect to just come out unscathed? It was your own damn fault if you got the wind knocked out of you, but he had to give you credit for trying. Just as he was about to look away, someone grabbed the back collar of your dress.

  Sukuna wasn’t one of those artists who genuinely cared about their fanbase or paparazzi. That was for the other members to do. It was well known, too. He didn’t indulge in pictures if he didn’t want to or wasn’t on stage. He didn’t sign anything without a check. No one knew music like he did. No one performed like he did. No one mattered like he did. Whatever it was that overtook him then, he wasn’t sure, but he dropped the mic. A sharp blare washed over the P.E. system. All eyes turned to him. Bandmates faltered for only a moment.

  Two steps back. Sprint. The tips of his shoes left the edge of the stage. Ryoumen Sukuna took flight. Arm reached for him, stopping his prized body from colliding with the harsh concrete below. The hand on you left, desperate to make contact with The King of Curses. The band went on, the crowd’s scream piercing the air as they swayed the singers body this way and that. You clambered over to grab the inhaler, took a hit, and dove for an exit.

  That’s how you found yourself where you were now, in a backstage hallway, staring directly into the fierce gaze of the lead singer. He smelled of sweat and cedar. A brow rose, hands stuffed into unimaginably tight pockets. Confidence wasn’t lost through Sukuna’s stature; shoulders back, weight slightly on one leg more than the other. What was lost, however, was the excitement. In fact, you felt like studied specimen, eyes scanning your limbs and stopping on your ribs. The bruise forming under your dress seemed to flare in response. His tongue clicked disapprovingly.

  “What do you want? You’re not some rabid fan.” His voice was smooth as a sip of whiskey. He already knew the answer. For a moment you wondered why he didn’t just call for guards. He wondered the same thing. Just as he wondered why he leapt off the stage. Not that he regretted the act seeing as it got him trending for the umpteenth time.

  Sukuna had become accustomed to certain responses. Some offered him their bodies in exchange for a few moments of his time. Shit like that was beneath him. If he wanted a quick fuck and a column, he’d find it himself. His free time was his and that was non-negotiable. So, he almost always cut them down to size. It didn’t matter to him if he made them cry or threatened their careers, he’d always say no. Pictures? No. Signature? No. Coffee? Get the fuck out of his face. Attention and fame may have been his drug of choice, but desperation and disrespect were one in the same and you do not disrespect the King.

  “No. I didn’t even know who you were until 12 hours ago,” you admitted with a shallow breath. You stroked his ego like velvet rubbed the wrong way. He opened his mouth, ready to toss you out then and there. The look in your eyes was enough to shut him up. Hunger. And he was your dish of opportunity. “However, I do want an interview, maybe even film you for an expose,” Your hand reached for his.

  His mouth pulled into a beautiful predatory grin. This one had ambition.

  “I’ll allow it.”

[tainted-wine]

Evil Demonic Music

Priest!Reader X Demon!Present Mic

Hizashi has a large and filling feast on every Halloween night. He’s been doing it since before you were born. Yet here you are crashing his party while smelling like fresh meat in a den of wolves. It’s entirely your fault for throwing off his groove.

Disclaimer: Reader is more reminiscent of an action priest in a gothic action movie or anime. There’s little to no accuracy here. Lightning will most likely strike me the next time I venture outside.

Words: 7.9k

Warnings: Noncon/Dubcon, Christian Themes, Possession/Mind Control, Orgy, Public Sex, Sorta Corruption, Downer Ending

🎃👻🎃HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!🎃👻🎃

------------x------------

Yuuei Club Presents “Dance With The Devil” Halloween Event LIVE Music by Present Mic Costumes Encouraged // Doors Open at 8 p.m.

It looked innocent enough; a graphical poster on the door of a building surrounded by smaller businesses in the outlet. It masked itself well in the daytime with its plain exterior, devoid of any attractive decorations save for the club’s name that glowed in hypnotizing neon when night falls. All of its temptations were contained inside, dormant until it was filled with careless souls seeking unholy pleasures.

You didn’t hate them for it. The temptation to sin is strong. It’s how evil thrives, and the average person lacks the strength to resist. It’s your duty to protect all people, even the faithless, from evil’s many devices. 

Like this nightclub.

Party locations like these were an uncommon feeding ground, although now that you think about it, the muddled and vulnerable minds residing within should make for easy meals. The loud and nonsensical “music” and absolute lack of restraint that the people displayed was baffling, but your task is to guard souls, not convert and guide them back to Heaven’s path. One demon in particular, however, favored ‘party animals’ more than any other creature from the vile depths.

“Easy there! You glare at this place any harder and it might combust!”

To the average human, the monster that appears beside you is nothing more than a tall blonde man with an inviting smile, but he can’t hide himself from the blessed and perceptive. Beneath the guise of spice and incense, he reeks of smoke and brimstone.

Hizashi, as he called himself, will never fool you.

“Stay back,” spit nearly flies from how harshly you say the words. You know that he can’t harm you, not while you wear your cross around your neck and calmly hold thoughts of your Lord in your mind. Still, you warn the dangerous fiend to keep his distance.

He obeys and innocently raises his hands. “Hey hey, you know I’m not out to hurt you, and you’re not gonna pull anything with that crafty little weapon there, right?”

No, you weren’t going to take a stab at him with the blade hidden in your holy necklace. You tried it before, an attempt to drive it into his back when he wasn’t looking. His hand caught your wrist at a speed you couldn’t comprehend – you were certain that you didn’t blink, yet you didn’t even see him move at all. His friendly smile didn’t waver, not a hint of anger visible on his face.

“Careful, baby priest! Don’t mean to sound cocky, but I’m way out of your league.” The warning wasn’t in his words, but in the heat of Hell itself that briefly washed over you, a sensation so powerful and real that you feared you were being dragged down that very instant. But the unseen flames died off the second he released your hand, eyes flashing a bloody red before returning to their usual emerald hues.

That was the first and only time you tried to banish him.

“I don’t trust you, but I’m not stupid,” was your answer, making sure not to let your hatred and disgust cloud your mind. He might take hold of that.

It was a satisfactory response, going by his bright beam of a smile. So friendly and inviting.

Months had passed when you finally accepted that he was a demon who genuinely enjoyed living alongside humans. He never spoke ill of your fellow men and commended them for their many ways of enjoying their short lives. Most demons you’ve dealt with favor negative emotions. Fear, sorrow, anger… those cold and bitter feelings attracted hellbeasts like flies to honey. 

But this one? He fed on mortals that were as cheerful and carefree as him. All of this still wasn’t enough to convince you that he is truly gentle, however.

Hizashi stayed where he was, staring at his own promotional poster. The urge to leave was almost overwhelming, but you couldn’t let him know how much he unnerved you with just his presence alone. Instead, you shuffle awkwardly and try not to utter prayers of protection. Whether or not that will anger him is something you don’t want to find out.

He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Are you pumped for the best night of the year? Man, Halloween never gets old for me, especially in this day and age. Everyone dancing while dressed like a bunch of monsters...it’s almost like I’m at home! Humans sure know how to party like tomorrow is The Cleansing.”

“Yes, and it’s shameful,” you humor him. “I have no interest in debauchery.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s called having a good time, babe. Put the tome down and loosen up every once in a while.”

Put down the tome?

Loosen up?

Babe?

How dare he make you even entertain the thought of abandoning your teachings. You just know he’s trying to rile you up, to make you lose control. You won’t let him have his way. “I have my good times in moderation, on days when I praise God with my brothers and sisters with a glass of wine. There is discipline in everything, even celebration. Heathens simply get drunk and lose themselves in the madness.”

The demon chuckled as he ran his fingers through long golden locks. Just the beautiful sheen of his hair could probably attract the greedy. “Yep. Times sure do change, don’t they?”

“They don’t just change, they’re desecrated. What was once a day to ward off evil spirits now does the exact opposite. They’re too busy with their consumerism, candy, haunted houses…”

“Oh yeah, those haunted attractions are wild. So many of my buddies gorge themselves there. Free fear for the taking, ya dig?”

Despicable.

“And you don’t?” You test him. He was a conversationalist; a few probing questions won’t bother him, surely.

He withdraws his phone, scrolling through the screen for something. “Come on, you know me by now, don’t you? That sour stuff isn’t for me.”

“Forgive me for still struggling to trust you.” Sarcasm felt too risky, actually. You won’t use it again.

“Heh, no offense taken! You priests know just how cruel we can be sometimes. Mortals learned from the best, after all.”

Your lips twitch. His curve into a more wicked grin.

Every single passerby can’t seem to resist giving you odd looks. You can feel the eyes behind you as people make their way around the shops. Your garb wasn’t that strange; they’re acting like they’ve never seen a person in a robe and wearing several divine artifacts before. They would too if they knew what Hizashi was, who has yet to garner a single look of suspicion.

Ridiculous, his casual getup is actually fooling them. Perhaps the silly villainous mustache wasn’t big enough to give him away.

“Ah, here it is!” You nearly jumped from his voice and how quickly he leaned in, a video playing on his phone. “Just tap on the screen to play it an-”

“I know how to use a phone,” You hiss, taking the device from his hand and shooting him a glance every few seconds in case he tried something. 

The video was chaos, an unsteady view of flashing lights and thumping heavy beats. Whoever held it was smack dab in the middle of an energetic crowd that sang and danced like barbaric animals. It was an orgy of overindulgence. Too much drinking with their comically shaped cups and bottles, too much lust in their crude excuse of a dance, and synthetic drums that dragged on for so damn long, even the beat sounded drunk. It’s not the first time you heard the horrid noise; it unfortunately appears to be popular among the masses. 

God help these poor souls.

“Last year’s party.” Hizashi’s words cut through your thoughts. “Pretty hype, huh? Nothing gets my listeners goin’ like a hard trap beat!”

Oh? So he’s fully admitting it now? “So you’re calling it what it is, are you? Trapping them with your satanic melodies?”

The confusion on his face was very convincing, but you knew better. “What? No, that’s what the music is called.” 

You couldn’t help but snort. “Please, demon. What do you think sounds more believable: A genre of music with such a simplistic and misleading name, or evil tunes that your kind uses to ensnare unassuming mortals that don’t know any better?”

“....um…”

“I thought so.” To think that he’d slip up so easily. He wasn’t as clever as he thought. “Tell me what happened to the people in this video. Are they alive? Or did you drain them until they were nothing more than lifeless husks?”

There was a snicker behind you. Both you and Hizashi turned around to see a young man holding his phone up with an amused smile, giving a little wave after being noticed. “Sorry,” he didn’t sound sorry at all. “I really like your costume, miss. Your acting is awesome, too.” With that, he put away his phone and whatever images he now has of you and continued on his merry way.

Impertinent juveniles.

“Anyway, they’re all fine,” Hizashi said, eyes returning to the door while tapping his feet to a beat you can’t hear. “I know how to feed without causing any serious harm. Even if I do go a little overboard, they’ll just brush it off as having too much to drink.”

“It doesn’t matter how good you are at controlling yourself. You’re an evil entity invading human minds.” It takes every bit of strength to not flinch when he looks at you. Again, there’s no anger – there’s never anger with him – and it makes you all the more uneasy. Maybe a being as ancient and influential as him doesn’t find a novice exorcisor like you worth getting angry or even annoyed over. “Your stench will remain on those people forever, attracting more of your kind to them unless someone like me finds and cleanses them.”

He shrugs and rubs at the back of his neck. “Come on, your boy is doing his best here. What do you want me to do? Starve?” He considers what he just said for a moment before laughing. “Nevermind, don’t answer that. Look, I ain’t leaving the stage, little priest. I’m addicted. The noise, the energy, the way everyone just loses themselves in all of it.”

The way his tongue peeks out to swipe over his upper lip has every hair on your skin sticking up.

“Man, I wish they knew just how sweet their own essence is when they’re caught up in the lights and music. Sweeter than any candy the kids will be bringing home tonight.”

He compares consuming pieces of a soul to children’s treats. “You’re really not helping your case,” you remark.

Another shrug. “C’mon, you say that like I actually have a chance at winning with you! I won’t hurt anyone in there. You have my word.”

You scoffed. “A demon’s word is-”

“Worthless, I know. See what I mean?” He withdrew a ring of keys out of his pocket. “Welp, I think we’ve stood here and stared at the door long enough. I gotta prep for the big night. Thanks for the company!” A few more seconds pass when he finds the right key and opens the entrance to the club. 

You didn’t follow him inside. That would be careless.

Now it’s only you observing the building that will soon hold a giant living feast for the hungry monster. After another passing compliment about your “cool and authentic costume”, you figured you’ve stood around long enough. It was time to head home.

And find a way to keep everyone safe.

He was right; you have no way of getting rid of him yourself. That doesn’t mean you’ll stand by while knowing what danger these people will be walking into when night arrives. You’re not afraid to put your life on the line if it means protecting His children from the many evils on earth. When the first step of your plan takes root in your head, you change routes and make your way to the nearest costume shop.

Hizashi won’t be having his fill tonight.

---------------------------------------------------------------

8:30 p.m.

You weren’t expecting to encounter two demons tonight.

Well, perhaps that term isn’t appropriate. There is no sort of aura attached to the dark-haired man that you can trace back to the pits of Hell, but he is undoubtedly a creature of evil. One that was birthed from the shadows, living for eternity by lurking in darkness and drinking the blood of any unfortunate mortal that catches his eye.

“I knew it. I knew someone so close to Hizashi couldn’t be human.”

The vampire at the lively club’s entrance didn’t seem fazed by your accusation. He wasn’t even hiding himself. The sly bloodsucker knows that his crimson irises and enlarged fangs will be mistaken for prosthetics. Very convincing prosthetics.

“Nice to see you too,” he deadpans. 

You’re getting a little tired of these beasts brushing you off. “So what’s your feeding plan here? Waiting to find an innocent maiden who wishes to see the sinful wonders inside, then take her to the back and drain her dry?”

“Like you?” The smirk doesn’t reveal any teeth, but his predatory eyes are enough to make you step back and grip the cross that still hangs around your neck. Your reaction makes him chuckle darkly before he returns to his regular disinterested self. “I already ate.” That monster. “I’m here because Hizashi thought I’d make for good security.”

“So you intend to drink from anyone that steps out of line?”

“No.”

“Lies. Look here, vampire…”

“My name is Shouta.”

“...You and your friend won’t be preying on these naive humans for much longer. He told me about his trap music, but I won’t let his songs bewitch anyone tonight.”

He stared at you, one eyebrow quirked high up. “Alright...can you give me your hand already? There’s a line growing behind you.”

You look over your shoulder, and there is indeed a line of disgruntled people dressed as various monsters and characters. You have to admit that their costumes look to be of higher quality than the angel outfit you hastily bought in the store’s clearance section. The fuzzy headband for your halo was itchy and your flimsy wings were on the verge of falling off with every sudden movement.

With a glare that messaged him not to try anything, you cautiously extended your arm. He took your hand in his – deathly cold – and wrapped a thin paper tag around your wrist. “Have fun.” 

You always hate it when you can’t read their smiles.

The suffocating darkness around him was lifted when you made your way to the same doors you were looking at with so much contempt this morning. Glancing back, you saw others happily complimenting his ‘spooky’ appearance, to which he responded with either a quick thanks or a grunt. None of them seemed to notice his chilling aura or ice-cold touch.

Why must they be so blind to the evils that walk beside them everyday?

When you stepped in, the music nearly blasted you back outside. So loud, but not like the angelic choirs during gospel. You didn’t feel lifted, you just felt bombarded by pure noise. A repetitive tempo made the entire building pulse like a heartbeat. This didn’t sound like the music Hizashi supposedly used to put the crowd under a spell. It just repeated the same forsaken beat over and over again. Perhaps the repetition is meant to ease the victim’s mind and lure them in a false sense of security, then those long rolling beats will come in next, ensnaring them when their guard is down. Clever, but not clever enough.

You passed the lounge and bar area, paying no mind to the lecherous behavior around you. Boisterous laughs, alcohol being carelessly chugged…

“Hey there, angel.” A man dressed as a superhero nearly tripped over his own cape in his attempt to approach you. “You as innocent as you look? I can introduce you to the boUUUURP.” The sudden belch burned your poor eyes with the stinging smell of rum.

Lord have mercy on both you and these savages.

“No thank you,” you said through gritted teeth and brushed past him. The lights and colors are disorienting. Strobe lights, spotlights whizzing across the walls and floor, and vibrant ever-changing shapes on every surface. The intoxicated folk probably welcomed the flashing chaos. When you drink at the church, your sips stay modest and controlled, ensuring to never reach the stage of drunkenness. If you were feeling ‘buzzed’, as they would say, this musical and optical discourse would likely feel pleasant, like entering a world devoid of rules and consequences.

Also known as a world of sin.

A huge mass of bouncing bodies covered the dancefloor, and there on an elevated platform, acting as an advanced musical throne, was the evil orchestrator of the chaos.

And those long curved obsidian horns were most definitely real.

Even as he tampered with the many buttons and dials before him, Hizashi moved as wildly as his prey, too caught up in his own infernal electronic hymns to even notice your presence. Surely your chaste energy sticks out among these wrongdoers like a dove in a pit of serpents.

You need to activate your blessing before he eats. Good thing the vampire didn’t bother to inspect your costume for any natural evil repellents that you happened to be carrying.

Your self-made pockets were filled with sage and rosemary, common herbs used to drive away demons and spirits. You sprinkle them onto the floor as you continue to make your way to the center, where your power will work most efficiently.  Hopefully their scent will not be overpowered by the sweaty bodies and breaths laced with alcohol of all kinds.

Pushing through the dancing crowd was an arduous task. The music had since switched to something faster and more aggressive. The hectic sounds in this one was making you miss the boring but calmer tunes from before. You never considered what the sound of a robot vomiting would sound like, but it would probably sound similar to the cacophony of ‘whirs’ and ‘wubs’ that were assaulting your ears.

The mass was pushing and tossing you every which way. The variety of masks and makeup beneath the constant moving lights was rather frightening. Of course, you’ve dealt with plenty of real monsters, but it disturbed you to see your fellow man acting in such a frenzied matter in such a perplexing setting. You can see why Hizashi adored this environment. You couldn’t tell the difference between man and beast.

Straightening your halo, you decide that this spot will fare well enough.

Now it was time to apply holy water around your feet. Just a few drops of the blessed fluid will be enough to protect everyone here.

You close your eyes, ignore the many bodies bumping against you, and pray.

O Lord, protect me from temptation.

The water trickles out before you.

O Lord, forgive those who have been led astray.

“WOOOO SHIT! THIS IS MY JAM!”

The nearby exclamation makes your eyebrow twitch.

For we know that your power is greater than any evil.

The song is deafening, but you keep going.

Grant, O Lord, the protection fro-

Someone violently collides into you, knocking the bottle right out of your hands and rolling away to disappear behind the wall of stomping shoes.

Shit! Forgive my language, Father!

You elbow the fools blocking your way, ignoring the occasional “hey” or “watch it” during your desperate search for the most important tool against evil influences.

You didn’t even finish your prayer. You need to at least do that first, before it’s too late. Clapping your hands together, you shut your eyes again and moved your lips rapidly.

OLordprotectmefromtemptationOLordforgivetosewhohavebeenledastrayforweknowthatyourpowerisgreaterthanany-

“HERE COMES THE DROP!”

The rhythm and bass changed drastically, and with it came a powerful wave of raw exhilaration.

It’s like a force was injecting every positive chemical directly into your bloodstream. The abundance of newfound energy needed to be released, just like the tension that was released from that beat drop.

Your hips are swaying in a way you’ve never moved them before, and you can’t make them stop.

Stop! Stop, please! This is his doing!

“How are my listeners doin’ tonight?!”

The demon’s voice booms through the speakers, seeping into your ears and filling you with so much excitement that you can’t help but cheer with everyone else. Your senses feel simultaneously enhanced and dulled. The humans around you were out of focus, but the diabolical DJ up ahead was so clear, it’s like you were right in front of him. The hunger in his currently red eyes struck fear in you even as you danced.

“Woo, I’m lovin’ this energy! Thanks for coming by this Halloween, ya little monsters! Now...bring this house down!”

Your heart accelerates from the rush and you begin to jump in sync with the possessed crowd. Even the people standing by or sitting at the bars couldn’t resist, joining the growing horde on the dancefloor to jump in unison. 

It was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Not a care in the world. No customs, no praise. It didn’t give you that warm feeling of ascension. Instead you just felt...liberated.

No!

Struggling in the demon’s grip, you cleared your thoughts just enough to try to calm yourself and regain control.

Utter a prayer. Hurry. Focus. You need His protection.

‘Baby priest? Is that you?’

That is not the mighty entity you wanted to hear. The voice echoes in your head, impossible to escape. When your eyes open, you see that above the vast sea of faces, Hizashi is staring right at you. 

‘I thought the dancefloor smelled a little weird! I was so busy feelin’ the beat that I almost missed you!’  You watched him laugh as he continued to violate your mind. Damn him. Wasn’t possessing you cruel enough? ‘Please, no prayers when I’m about to dig in. That’s gonna leave a bad taste in my mouth. Just keep groovin’ like everyone else!”

Your limbs obeyed without your consent and followed the rhythm. This didn’t even sound like the music you heard in the video. Were you just foolish in thinking that he only used one specific sound to trap his victims?

With another change in the bassline, a heavier weight invaded, reaching right into the depths of your heart and tugging at your very soul. You know that fear will only make you more defenseless, but there was no fighting the terror that overtook you.

Not when a demon was feeding from you.

Your brain clashed with itself. You had to keep fighting, even as he stole a fragment of what your gracious Heavenly Father had gifted you and every human, but the cheerful voices implanted in your mind begged you to stop worrying and just give in already.

There was no stopping your movements or the unending rush that surged as strongly as the music. Only now, as he completely ignored your holy safety measures and tainted your soul as easily as the oblivious heathens surrounding you, did you fully understand just how great the differences in power between him and you were.

‘Whoa...holy shit.’

The breathless moan in your head made you shudder. 

‘I haven’t tasted a human as pure as you in ages.’ 

“Please! You’ve already fed from me!” You scream out loud as the mob revels in the thrilling sensation of having a part of them sucked away. Your voice is drowned out by the music and shouts, yet you know that the horrid fiend can hear you loud and clear. “Just get out of my head!”

The dancing stops.

The music stops.

Everything stops.

It’s relieving to finally let your body rest from the forced celebration. The lights still flash and move in the dead silence. Every single person in all of their costumed glory turns and pins you with a sharp glare. Their eyes were unfocused and glazed over, consciousness elsewhere. Hizashi was in full control of all of them.

The demon himself looked down at you, no longer wearing his usual friendly and carefree smile. He was now showing the more twisted happiness you were used to seeing on his kind.

Crazed and eager to devour.

He spoke into the microphone on his headset, voice low and eerily calm. “Angel, you can’t just give me a sample of a five-star meal and expect me to not want more.”

The dread threatens to make you faint.

“Hey, none of that!” He laughs and switches back to his cheery tone. “I told you the negative emotions aren’t for me. I mean, a lady as sweet as you is gonna taste delicious either way. Why don’t you come on up here?”

You didn’t want to. You wanted to flee from this entire situation that you foolishly believed you were ready for. You thought you could sneak into this age-old creature’s gathering and force him to go hungry for the night.

Cockiness treads horribly close to pride, and pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

You clearly didn’t have a say in the matter, what with your feet moving forward on their own. Every individual in front of you stepped aside to create a clear path from you to Hizashi’s platform. Their eyes never left, heads slowly turning as they watched you slowly climb the steps with legs that trembled from your resistance.

As he stood tall clad in leather behind the large mixer table, you noticed along with his sturdy horns, he also sported a black pointed tail that lazily swayed behind him. And his stench...the foul smell that would often make you crinkle your nose was replaced with a pleasing fragrance, like a sweet and fruity beverage. It was undoubtedly the work of his spell; everything about him has suddenly become tempting.

At this point you were wishing for the music to return so that you couldn’t hear your thunderous heartbeat as you stopped right in front of him. His hellish eyes observed you from head to toe, holding his chin between his fingers before shaking his head and smirking.

“Ya really couldn’t find a better costume?” He snickered as he got closer and fiddled with your cheaply-made gown. You avoided looking directly into his eyes, afraid of falling into the blood-red depths and never finding your way back out.  “Or do you priests work on a budget?” He pauses when he notices the contents in your pockets. “Oh?” A hand is shoved inside and pulls out a handful of herbs.

“Aww gross! Sneakin’ herbs into the joint?” He winces from the smell before tossing them aside, leaving them to scatter into the unmoving group below.

How? His reaction should have been much stronger…

“Not that this stuff really works when I’m vibin’ in my element, but I’m hurt! I thought we had some trust!” He pinches your cheek, knowing that you’re unable to pull away. “And I thought you knew that I was way out of your league. You’re gonna need the big guns if you plan on keeping me away from my food.” The breath blowing into your face is abnormally hot.

There’s a layer of something otherworldly hidden in his tone whenever he emphasizes his words, like a filter poorly attempting to cover up a monster’s true guttural voice. 

But once again, he switches back to normal, which does nothing to calm you. “But I’m not gonna get mad at some rookie that doesn’t know better, especially one as tasty as you!” Twirling around, he pushes a few buttons on the table that you didn’t even know where to begin to figure out. 

“Sorry about the interruption, listeners!” He says to the crowd, cruelly acting like they have any ability to respond. They continue to stare blankly. “I hope you don’t mind if I switch things up a bit. Your boy is gonna be a little preoccupied during the next few tracks.”

The deafening silence is lifted with the start of a new song, and the people suddenly spring back to life, completely unaware of the mindless state they were in. Their only goal was to keep partying.

Your body was moving again as well, this time bobbing gently to the double and triple beats and low frequencies that vibrate through the floor and up your spine.

This...this was the type of melody you feared, and yet it didn’t affect you any more than the other songs. All of them were traps.

The only way you can think of fighting back is by filling your head with songs of praise. Keep your Lord in your thoughts. He will protect you.

“Tsk...angel, that stuff doesn’t work when I, ya know, already ate a piece of you.” His face tightened from hearing just a few seconds of the holy song in your head. “I told you, ya gotta loosen up a bit. You’re already dancing better than I thought you would!”

He paid no attention to his other prey, instead admiring your simple but energetic movements.

Then he began to move as well, shoulders doing a slow shimmy and following each of your steps with his own, moving closer and closer until he was able to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you in.

He’s warm. Not burning or emitting an aura of terrifying darkness. The music suddenly feels softer, easing your fears. Like an intimate embrace. 

“There, it’s not so bad, is it?” He says lowly, lips almost touching your face. “Quit thinking about your big daddy for once.”

You want to protest against the disrespectful nickname for your God, but he predicts your reaction and tightens his hold on your spirit.

“You taste so damn incredible right now, don’t mess it up,” he groans and savors you. With every part of you that is consumed, it becomes harder to resist. It would be so easy to just hold onto him and keep swaying like this, rocking back and forth as his hips press against yours, grinding into you.

The unfamiliar sensation startles you, but Hizashi shuts down your panic with a growl. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten.” he murmurs into your shoulder, breathing deeply to take in your scent. “I’ve been so hooked on the party life that I forgot just how heavenly innocents like you taste. To think that I’d have an actual priest dancing with me, tasting that revelry from such a pure source...pardon my blasphemy, but goddamn.”

You’re swimming through the fiery haze clouding your mind, clawing against it in a desperate search for an opening. But with every beat, the haze thickens and you sink further in.

You couldn’t find the light. No salvation.

More sinful feelings assault you from the friction of his groin against yours, a growing bulge rubbing on your most sacred area. It sends a foreign tingle down there.

“Ooooh, don’t think I can’t feel that, baby” he rasps, holding you so closely in a dance fitting for two lovers. “I can sense everything now that you’ve let me in.”

That angers you enough to find your voice again, just barely. “I didn’t let you in...” You tense from another hard grind. “Foul...beast.”

“Are you sure? You’re giving in pretty easily. It’s nothin’ to feel bad about, I promise. Humans aren’t built to resist life’s basic needs, so I don’t know why the big man in the clouds gets so wound up about it all the time.” 

How dare he.

“Damned snake!” You force your hands to beat against him and push him off. “You will not corrupt me with the Devil’s words!”

He’s actually shocked for a moment, even to your own surprise, but he laughs it off. “Geez, my bad! I guess you are pretty persistent. Must be…” He grabs the cross around your neck, ignoring your horrified gasp. “...this.”

With a sharp yank and a pinch at the back of your neck, your one remaining object of holy protection is removed.

And with its loss, his influence completely overpowers you. The clearness of your senses switches on and off.

The music is muffled. It’s too loud.

The roaming lights are blurry. Too bright.

Are you still moving? Or is your body too heavy?

“It stings a bit, but that little thing can’t do much when the wearer’s already under my control.” An unfocused image of the demon tossing your precious necklace over his shoulder, the necklace you’ve held close to you since the day you first stepped into the cathedral and accepted your role as a righteous defender of man.

Your essence is now being stolen so quickly that it makes you shiver. He shouldn’t be taking this much.

“Mmm, I can’t get enough of this,” Teeth that are too sharp brush against your neck, threatening to pierce your skin. “I’m an old guy, ya know. I’ve done a lot of experimenting over the centuries, to see what I’m into.”

There’s a rip, and your gown is being pulled down along with your wings. It only relieves you from the growing heat of your surroundings.

“Y’see, our daddy isn’t a helicopter parent. He brings us into the world and just...lets us decide what to do. So no, my words ain’t the Devil’s words. They’re just mine, honey. I live for myself.”

Tilting your head, he presses his lips against your throat, making your breath hitch. No, your body is sacred. Don’t let him do this to you.

You don’t even know when the music had changed, but you’ve noticed the club was filled with a synthetic ambiance, the colors switching to magenta and cyan. 

The party demon is so captivated by you that he doesn’t even acknowledge the change in tune. “I used to stalk the depressed. Wasn’t worth it, they were too bland.” He peppers kisses down to your collarbone. “I tormented scared paranoid folk. Fun, but it loses its flavor fast.”

Your bra is removed to expose your breasts to him and the entire populace within the building. Your heart races, but the synths don’t stop seeping into your ears, the bliss wrestling with your fear. 

“Shh, don’t freak out. I’ll make sure everyone forgets everything that happened tonight.” He attempts to reassure you while massaging your newly revealed mounds. “So time went on as I treated my palate to different tastes. Wasn’t long before I realized my favorite vibes were the good ones. Festivals, games, a few buddies hangin’ out,” he lowered himself and flicked your nipple with his tongue. “Or a couple fucking, I ate all of it up. And after a while I decided that I just liked people in general.”

The pleasure felt when your breast is engulfed by the heat of his mouth is shameful. Hizashi moaned at your taste, though you weren’t sure if it was the taste of your flesh or your lust that was exciting him.

“I liked it when humans were having good times, so I figured out how to join in on the fun and damn, how do you guys keep finding new ways to rock out? The prudes keep droning on about how my favorite type of people have lost their way, but I think they’re the ones who found paradise, and they’re not even dead yet!” After nursing on both of your breasts, he rises and grabs your face to turn it toward the crowd. “I mean, just look at how these guys – oh.”

‘Oh’ indeed.

The people were no longer dancing. They were grabbing at each other, at men and women they probably didn’t even know, tearing apart clothes in a vicious urge to fornicate right there on the dancefloor. Some of them were already completely nude. You avert your eyes to stare at your feet instead.

Hizashi cleared his throat. “Whoops. Look what ya made me do, angel. My lust got the best of me!” He held you close while watching the horrid act before him. You’re trying to move your heavy arms to cover your bare body. “No wonder I’m feeling so horny. Think I should make them stop?”

It takes effort to nod your head.

His lip sticks out in an exaggerated pout before going, “Nah. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an orgy. I bet this is a first for you.”

Something tickles your hips, your eyes wandering over to see the arrow-like point of his tail curling around your white panties, tugging them down.

Part of you already knows that Hizashi is allowing you to struggle for his own amusement. With all of your protection gone, he can easily stop you from swatting at the flexible limb as it brings your final article of clothing down to your ankles.

Wearing nothing but the small strap around your wrist, you want so badly to curl up and hide yourself. You were completely bare on a stage with a demon quietly taking in your form. The contrasting feelings of anxiety and calm threaten to tear your psyche in half.

“Given how anal you guys are about chastity, I think it’s safe to say no one’s ever touched you before?” The way you tense tells him enough. “Alright alright, relax. I’m gonna make this easy for you.”

‘How? By letting me leave?’ You want to say, but your vocal chords aren’t cooperating.

He grinned from ear to ear. “Well, no. I told ya I know everything goin’ on in that head.” He grabs you by the shoulders and places you right in front of his mixer.

There were many suggestive sounds amongst the pile of writhing bodies before you. It was the most depraved sight that you’ve ever witnessed. These people may have been sinners for their immoral pursuits, but they were still victims of a wicked creature’s influence. You wish you could apologize to all of them for failing to protect them.

Slender fingers massaged your shoulders. “Ain’t it beautiful?” He whispers hotly into your ear. “I’m not that crazy about lust, but I can’t resist when it’s coming from someone like you.”

His aura has you shackled on the spot, unable to move or even tear your eyes away from all of the sex. His voice meshes with the increasingly sensual tunes, both him and the music putting you in a deep trance that leaves every nerve in your body extra sensitive.

You’re gently pushed to lean forward until your hands are supporting yourself on the table. The leather of his clothes pressed against your back is irritating, but easily overshadowed by the hands trailing down your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“One of my favorite hobbies was hunting down faithful maidens like you. All demons love doing it, really. You can’t top raw innocence, it’s always a delicacy. It’s the closest most of us will ever get to fucking an actual angel. I managed to fuck an angel, and lemme tell ya, it’s a once in an eternity experience.”

He reaches your mound. There is still fear and an urge to pray, though it’s drowned out by the electronic harmony and all of the hot sex.

“Now she’s a fallen one that hangs out with me. Pretty little devil’s obsessed with sex now. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll give you a visit in your sleep at midnight.”

His fingers reach your untouched folds, making you gasp. You’ve never felt so much lubrication down there before. Was that normal?

“I was really good at the whole corruption thing, so good that I caught the attention of the big holy boys. They were toughies, gotta hand it to 'em. I decided to lay low after that little showdown. That was all a preeetty long time ago.”

The demon’s voice is background noise as you watch deplorable acts that you didn’t even know existed. One woman was taking a cock into her mouth while another man pounded into her from behind. A new male approached and grabbed her free hand, wrapping her fingers around him and encouraging her to stroke him.

Three men pleasuring themselves with the same woman. They were probably complete strangers.

The repulsive sight makes you wetter.

They sure were having fun.

Hizashi hums at your arousal, sinking a digit into your folds. 

“Ah,” you choke on your own voice. His other hand plays with your breast again while you’re being penetrated for the first time. Some sort of flame was growing within you, burning and pleasing at the same time.

“I thought I’ve found my place. Going place to place and bringing in crowds who just want to forget their troubles for a day and groove.”

The finger pushes through your tightly clenched walls, or at least they try to.

“Fuck, relax a bit, babe,” he groans.

You do exactly that, giving him enough leeway to push in and out at a steady pace. You don’t think about the violation, only the strange friction that has no right to feel as good as it does. 

“And then you come along,” An unexpected sharp thrust causes his finger to brush against a spot that fills your vision with even more blinding lights. “It’s not like I was after you or anything. You’re a solid negative ten on the threat scale, but ya just wouldn’t leave me alone!” He relentlessly hits the spot again, and again, until you’re crying out and your legs are shaking. “Then you waltz in here and try to ruin my favorite night of the year?

He’s able to hide his anger as he speaks, but fails to keep it from entering his possessed victims. The orgy becomes more violent, all of the people looking no more civil than savages in torn rags as they try to dominate and fuck each other senseless.

It affects you as well, going by how annoyed you’re getting by his rambling. Can’t he just focus on pleasing you?

His finger leaves you too soon, your cunt already missing the brand new sensations. “Sorry, babe,” he says when he releases you and begins to undo his pants. “Normally I’d spend more time warming up, but I gotta join in on the raunchiness now before I go nuts. Just...do me a favor.”

You whined, wiggling your hips and rubbing your ass against his freed cock. He only chuckles at your impatience.

“Slow your roll, I’ll get started as soon as you push that button riiiight there.”

You push one of the many glowing buttons, and stock phrases are shouted out of the speakers.

“No, the one next to it.”

You press it, and another song begins.

Hizashi hums in approval. “I usually do a smooth transition between songs, but…”

A hard impact knocks you forward with the overwhelming feeling of being completely filled all at once. The stretch and pressure has your mouth hanging open in a silent scream.

“....Yeah, I just wanted to do that. And-” He yanks the halo off your head and drops it at your feet. “-I always loved the symbolism in that.”

He wastes no time building up. You’re being pounded as hard and consistently as the energetic beat. It should hurt, but the euphoric state of your mind dulls any pain and discomfort. 

With the demon inside both your head and your womanhood, there was no saving yourself. Your prayers wouldn’t even be heard through this thick depraved fog.

“Oh fuck yeah,” He growls loudly with his wild thrusts, hands gripping your hips tightly enough to bruise. “I’ve been missing out. So hooked on the party life that I don’t even remember how it feels to eat up a modest little soul like this.”

Was he still devouring you? You can’t even tell, not while you’re trapped in this melodic dreamworld as his cock rams you.

“Ya mind if we do this again sometime?” He angled himself to ensure he was hitting that sweet spot with each rhythmic pump. Despite his aggression, his hips moved with musical purpose. “Not like you’re much of a priest anymore. You’re fuckin’ a demon, sweetheart. I think the pearly gates have closed for you.”

That sounds sad and all, but God does he feel good. The entire moment was feeling like a hallucination. Your world was saturated with fuzzy images and muffled bass as your virgin pussy was ravaged. The tightened heat in your core was growing hotter by the second.

Hizashi just wouldn’t stop talking even as he became short of breath. “Ah, don’t worry, my doors are always open to misfits!” His rhythm falters a bit when you give him an especially tight squeeze. “Ya like that? I can always wipe your memory of tonight along with everyone else’s, and you can head back home. I just don’t think your next visit to the house of God is gonna end well.”

How does he expect you to care with the way he’s plowing into you?

His arms wrap around you in an embrace. “No pressure, angel. You can decide later. For now, just enjoy the show.”

And finally, he shut up and focused on fucking your divine lights out.

With his pelvis flush against your ass, Hizashi humps with newfound vigor, his thrusts rapid yet precise enough to keep stimulating your most sensitive areas.

The blinding stars in your eyes make it impossible to even make out what’s happening in front of you. A shame, because you want to know if you’re being dicked down as good and hard as the whores on the dancefloor.

The demon may not be talking anymore, but he was still being very vocal about his pleasure with feral moans and growls right into your ear. 

An extra hard slam forces you to nearly topple onto the controls, hands scrambling to keep you upright and hitting several buttons in the process. 

A series of sounds and distortion effects are added to the song.

It unexpectedly riles him up. “Shit, that wasn’t a bad mix, angel. I might have a junior DJ in the making,” he praises.

The tempo changes - different speed and new layers - and Hizashi follows suit by switching his quick bucks into deep thrusts.

The fire inside was close to doing...something. You weren’t sure what it was or what exactly will happen if this lasts any longer, but part of you knows that it’s about to feel very good.

With the head of his dick striking you nice and deep, you quickly learn that you were right.

The explosion of spasms was too pleasurable to even comprehend, each contraction tearing filthy screams from your throat. Hizashi bursts soon afterwards and fills you up with a cry even more lewd than yours.

Just like that, your mind is freed and the weight of his aura is lifted...and you feel gravely tired.

A coldness sweeps over you and saps every ounce of your strength. You find yourself dropping to your knees and falling over as a distant voice expresses genuine worry.

“Oh.......I overfed.” Though it doesn’t sound as panicked as it should.

You don’t want to close your eyes. You fear that something terrible might happen if you do, but your eyelids are quickly becoming too heavy to fight.

“Really sorry, little priest! I didn’t mean to! Look at the bright side - my friends are gonna love ya down there! Home isn’t half as bad as those books make it out to be!”

Each word sounds fainter than the last, but you still catch each one.

Home?

Your eyes shut. 

And the remains of your soul become stained with ash and black before heading downwards into the demonic realm.

Welcome home.

[randomikemendegen]

“Hah? If there’s nothing you need, then scram. I’ve got no time for pointless small-talk.”

Name: Leviotan Genov

Dorm: Octavinelle

Year: 3rd

Like/s:

Gambling

Musical instruments

Fairness and keeping to your word

Word puzzles and chess

Dislike/s:

Meaningless things/conversations

Debts and being indebted

Needless spending

Spicy foods

Twisted from: No one (he’s based on a Killer Whale/Orca)

Short Description:

A 3rd-year from the Octavinelle dormitory, and Viviane’s “older brother”. He appears to do as he pleases and minds his own business, to which he expects others to do the same. Despite his conscious distancing, he at times follows Azul’s orders and genuinely cares about one person; his little sister.

Personality:

He’s aloof and prefers to not bother intruding on other people’s business unless it benefits him, his sister, or his benefactors. That’s not to say Levio has no social skills at all, he’s actually quite pleasant to talk to…. if and when he actually talks to you. He’s also very observant and actually pays attention to what is going on in his surroundings, keeping information within his head until he can later use it on the perfect or right time. Also, due to being raised in a household that respects and highly values women in a positive light, Levi’s naturally inclined to be nice and courteous to women, even offering to assist any female that look like they need help— he’s actually kind that way, though he doesn’t regard himself as such and just considers it as a circumstantial attitude due to how and what type of environment he was raised in. Also, despite his rather gruff and tough appearance, he can actually be rather formal and patient, though he mostly reserves this side to gatherings or important parties and stuff.

Believe it or not, but he’s actually an instrumental genius. What that actually means is, he can pretty much play any musical instrument very easily even though he’s never used it in the past. It’s to the point that he only needs to hear a piece of music ONCE, and he can already replicate it to near-perfection. Despite looking and acting so seriously most of the time, Levio’s actually pretty playful and a bit of a snarky tease, since he whenever he’s in a good mood or around people he even REMOTELY is close with, then he’ll poke fun at them over small things on occasion like; say if that person’s crush is nearby, then he’ll do his absolute best to make his “friend” turn absolutely red from embarrassment. Though at random times, he will choose a random person and then try to push their berserk buttons for the fun of it. Levi genuinely cares about Viviane and would do absolutely anything and everything to make her happy and to stay that way; he’s almost worried about her due to her lackadaisical attitude and the fact that because she got so used to seeing sketchy-looking guys back at home, she has absolutely zero fear in approaching literally anyone.

With all that being said…. it will not be denied that Leviotan has a rather sadistic side. He also has a bit of a bad habit in gambling away anything— he more often than not ups the stakes and even often bets his life mostly for the thrills, though he quite easily crushes the opposition on that note since that’s his “finale”. Additionally, Levio may not look like it, but he is the type of person who WILL mess with and up your entire life and psyche just for the fun of it. Sure with his domineering size, he’s 198cm by the way, he could just easily beat anyone up, but he much prefers the way of “breaking them by talking”…. though he isn’t against in using both. Levi’s also not ashamed of actually using his “ties” and “connections” behind the scenes if he gets genuinely pissed off, or if one of his benefactors needs something done about it, or, god forbid, if you’ve done something bad to Vivi in which case, pray to whatever god out there that Lev himself does NOT deal with you; trust me, you’d rather wish you were dead than deal with an angry Leviotan.

Relationships/s:

[Will be edited in the future]

Trivia:

His first name, [Leviotan], is actually derived from [Leviathan] and [Lotan]; both are sea serpents/dragons with the former being from Jewish/Christian belief, while the latter is from the Canaanites— although the name also came to be used as a term for “great whale”.

His last name, [Genov], comes from the infamous Genovese mafia— the oldest and largest of the “Five Families”, and was originally known as the “Luciano (crime family)”.

He and Viviane may be siblings, but the latter is actually his adoptive younger sister-- meaning they share no blood relations. Still, he treats Viv as if she was actually his younger sister.

Viviane was also supposed to end up becoming the heir to the Genov family name due to their succession law of having a female lead the family. Though because of her adoptive status, and the fact that she vehemently rejected it(since it felt too “restraining” for her), Leviotan was chosen instead despite being a male. Both of them don’t really mind or care about this outcome in the slightest.

[supermassive-blue-tint]

Midnight Sun Thoughts: Chapters 1-5

I am five chapters into Midnight Sun and I have SOME THOUGHTS. This is going to be a very long post in which I stream of consciousness type everything that comes to mind. Also I am very much enjoying the book, but I am also going to be critical of it too!

Possible spoilers below!

Let’s start with the positive things!

Getting a look into the minds of the Cullens/Hales makes me love them even more! Emmett is such a bro, so easy going, never anxious about anything (I mean we knew this already, but it’s just so much more pronounced!) I LOVE how Rosalie’s mind is portrayed because it’s so damn honest. She is selfish and vain. As someone who is currently learning that I don’t have to put every single person in the world before me, a little look into her mind is reassuring and refreshing. She only cares about protecting herself and yet Emmett still loves her... she’s still worth something even though she isn’t ‘good’ like Bella or Esme. Seeing the way Alice’s visions work is also amazing. Like the way she can search through thousands of decisions and the way things blur when someone is undecided. I also found it very interested that right from the beginning Alice already knew that Bella was either going to end up dead or a vampire. Kind of makes a little more sense now as to why Edward tried to keep Bella human for so long... he hated being confined within only two futures.

Another thing I thought was a great touch was the way Charlie’s mind is a little more wordless than the usual mind. Edward can tell what he’s thinking, but can’t hear the actual words. I wonder if Renee has some kind of gift too? I haven’t read to the end so no spoilers if this is true! Also interesting to think about how Charlie’s gift might have manifested if he had become a vampire.

It’s interesting how in Twilight the readers can never fully comprehend the horror and repulsion that the Cullens/Hales cause in humans, because we’re reading it from Bella’s perspective and she seems to be immune to this. It’s great to get a look into how most other humans do have some kind of subconscious understanding that something isn’t right and that the Cullens/Hales are a danger to them.

I also love the way Bella is described. It’s not how I imagined her in Twilight at all, which indicates she doesn’t see herself clearly.

Let’s get into some things I didn’t like...

Firstly, school being described as purgatory and then later hell, is so obviously Mormon/Christian. Please note I may get damn salty about this as I have actual religious trauma that often manifests as me picking apart Christian religion. Trust me I have nothing against you if you are Christian... I’m just traumatised by Christian religion and I think I have the right to be critical of something that harmed me. Anyway, the blatant Christian imagery is rife in the most stereotypical way. The angel and devil on the shoulder are mentioned as well. There are so many more nuanced Christian ideas that could be used... but instead it’s really obvious imagery. I also noted the mention of ‘atonement for sins.’ Not terrible, but really rubs me the wrong way as that’s the sort of rhetoric that distorts the view of the self and makes one think they are ‘bad.’

The most accurately Christian thing about this (and I feel I need to stress here that I’m about to talk about something that happens when Christianity is done WRONG. If you’re not doing it wrong then I’m not having a go at you) is the way Edward perceives his nature as monstrous. I cannot fully describe to you the parallels this draws to my own experience of feeling like a monster for being gay (/maybe demisexual or grey asexual, idk). Edward’s self hate, the seeing of himself as a sinner, as contaminated and not good enough for anyone else are very real and common results of Christianity gone wrong.

Another thing (not related to Christianity at all) that made me really uncomfortable was the way that Edward waited for an outright ‘no’ from Bella when he decided to talk to her again after the first night visiting her room. Obviously as we have already read this from Bella’s point of view, we know that she likes him too. But he doesn’t know. So when he hears things from her like ‘leave me alone’ and decides that’s not enough of a rejection and he should keep pursuing her it brings up this horrible idea that only no means no. Which is not the case, obviously body language and other words can indicate a lack of consent. Of course he does wait for her to eventually say yes, which is good... but he ignores so many implied ‘nos’ before that.

I also don’t like how Esme is reduced to the loving mother archetype. There is nothing wrong with this archetype, but it eclipses all the rest of her personality. There is an important place for loving mothers in the world, but not because it’s what women are ‘designed’ for, and not at the expense of a woman’s individuality and uniqueness. In a similar vein I hate it how Bella is perfectly ‘good’ and selfless. It’s such an unrealistic idea that perfection even exists. But it’s what Christian churches (particularly more traditional or strict churches) ask of their followers. It’s a ‘be perfect or you’re going to hell’ vibe.

I’d also like to point out that I don’t necessarily think Smeyer would intentionally go and put all this Christian stuff in Midnight Sun or any Twilight saga book. I think it’s more likely that she is so involved in it all that this is genuinely how she sees fit to explain the world. I remember reading Twilight as a 12/13 year old and never ever noticing any of the thinly veiled traditional Christianity hidden in it because I myself was so much a part of it that I didn’t know there were other ways to see the world.

Okay, end rant. Tune in next time for Lissa reviews Midnight Sun but then accidentally addresses her religious trauma.

[simptasia]

lost characters based solely on how i portray them in my text post memes

jack: constantly crying and/or screaming. no emotional stability. no social skills. terrible bedside manner. endearingly bland. into powerful women. loves the red sox... a lot. daddy issues. doesn’t believe in himself. has shitty tattoos. being crushed under the weight of everybody’s expectations. more or less hot. he is not cool at all. repressed attraction to guys. chronic hero syndrome. adorably embarrassing as a dad. passionately and violently overreacts to the mere concept of people believing in things. mansplains but in a non malicious way because he is literally that oblivious. gets into fights a lot. dissociates in mirrors. gets injured a lot but doesn’t wanna make a fuss. thinking about caves

kate: desperate need to protect women. bi. is frustrated by jack and sawyer’s personalities but wants to fuck them oh so much. rowdy. feminist. biceps. will call you out. is love with claire and jack and sun and- she has a lot of love to give. she can be ur angel or ur devil. exasperated. doesn’t understand astrology but she’s trying. she’s the slytherin friend every hufflepuff needs. uses guns. doesn’t know how to cook. go to relationship advice is “dump him” or “suck his dick”.  just because you put things in her vagina doesn’t mean you know her. gemini

hurley: sad clown. haha laughter! hiding real pain! has debilitating mental illness. he’s doing his best to stay positive. virgin. genuinely kind soul. overwhelmed by food. awkward around girls he likes. much smarter and wiser than anybody thinks, including himself. a special boy who we all love. says dude a lot. the only valid rich person ever. doesn’t like himself. sees dead people. kinda silly. also he’s fat (but i don’t joke about it in a cruel way)

sawyer: compulsive need to nickname people. from the south. bewildered by charlie’s english slang. covering up vulnerability with jokes and being mean. loves juliet. is an asshole but a loveable asshole (this varies, mostly he’s an asshole). conventionally attractive to the point of boring. got a Thing going on with miles. can’t stand daniel being smart around him. babies freak him out. treats animals poorly

locke: very supportive and new agey type. i’ve made two jokes about him encouraging people to jack off, that wasn’t on purpose but Okay. he doesn’t know what its like to have friends. he says Deep Sounding but odd things. he’s super duper into nature. he suffers. he’s very forgiving of ben to the point of absurdity and he desperately wants ben to love and fuck him. or maybe they are fucking. Who Knows. he loves knifes

sayid: sexy, suffering shannon fucker. he doesn’t respect boone. his life is an endless parade of misery culminating in going on autopilot. respects women

jin: he has no idea what’s going on and his life revolves around sun

sun: beautiful. perfect. very passionate about gardening

claire: bi. frequently ignored. cutesy and sweet. super into astrology and new age stuff. her cheery demeanour can only hold on so long before she loses it. kinda dumb. has baby. vanilla, at least for now. loves charlie but is kinda frustrated by him. goes feral and “kitten thinks of murder all day” sums it up

charlie: that he needs attention and validation to survive would be a gross understatement. bi. trans. punk. stupid. english. really horny and slutty. adores music more than anything. drug addict (again, i refuse to be cruel). severe jealousy issues. inferiority superiority complex. hates himself but will get offended if you hate him. can’t take any form of criticism. is bewildered by sawyer’s american-isms. bit of a madonna whore complex. smol but will go the fuck off like a terrier nipping at ya heels. catholic and riddled with catholic guilt. goofy and obnoxious and he knows it. passive aggressive. terrified of bees. nice ass. mood swings. did i mention he’s short? anyway here’s wonderwall

ben: ugly. just plain terrible. beaten and bruised. seething with rage and pain on the inside. virgin. liar. just causes problems on purpose. resembles a lemur or rat, rodents in general. loves bunnies. doesn’t think sex is real. just a really bad idea for him to be around juliet. has no friends. doesn’t care about other people. says creepy shit just because. he knows he’s a terrible person. killed people. the friend nobody likes and a general nuisance to the other characters

(also my literal first text post meme about ben was a joke about him eating his parents??? 2014 sapphire, i wanna talk...)

juliet: mom friend. seems very calm but she’s screaming on the inside. basically she’s the This Is Fine meme. depressed. has big tits. low-key kinky. feminist in a very gentle way. has no ill will towards kate and will only fight her for fun. concerned for daniel’s well being. has no chemistry with jack. loves sawyer. flat measured calm way of speaking. she’s breaking apart at the seams but will offer you a nice glass of water :)))

michael: has a son..... uh...... enjoys minecraft?

(i’m sorry)

desmond: scottish. drinks. easily and constantly confused. magic psychic time powers, like visions and electromagnetic dimensional stuff. easily angered. fucked off by the concept of time and destiny in general. hhhhhhhot

smokey: Hello Fellow Humans I Promise This Is My Own Skin Haha

miles: bi. aro. loves money (trying to fill the hole in his heart with money and things). emo/punk. pretends not to care but he really does care. thinks emotions and romance are dumb but of course is emotional... and kinda wants love. but not that he LIKES you or anything. exasperated. thinks everybody else is weird. kinda slutty or at least trying to be. masochist and into BDSM. mean to daniel for no reason. daddy issues. resting bitch face. jaded, bitter and salty. responds to romantic things dan or char say with vulgar or mocking comments. grew up poor. can hear dead people. trying too hard to be edgy. deadpan snarker. Fuck Off I’m Not Sad Don’t Look At Me [cries only around the audience and his mom]

walt: becoming older than 10 was when things went downhill for him

shannon: seems vapid but is more than that. deeply insecure. feels she can’t do anything right. constantly put down as worthless by other people. yeah she’s sad but she Looks Great. wants sayid to pound her (mood)

(gee, that was dark)

richard: very old and ageless. sees ben as a son figure. really not holding it together. seems smart but he has no fucking idea whats going on. cult mindset. quips curtly back at miles’ vulgar jokes. in love with miles based on very little interaction. misses his dead wife. has a cute giggle. is also hot. overwhelmed and just wants to go into the jungle and scream

frank: doesn’t understand what anybody is talking about. the only normal person here. doesn’t understand these kids today with their weird kinks. just wants to sleep. pilot. bit of a conspiracy theorist

boone: bi. stupid. soaked in blood a lot.  (L I T E R A L L Y all of my boone jokes are about him being dumb and bi and horribly injured and combos of those. i haven’t even made any incest jokes! what the actual fuck)

ana lucia: “[with tears in her eyes] DO U WANNA FIGHT??”. highly volatile. lesbian. bros with jack but will roast him. angery, sad and underloved

daniel: bi, agender, neurodivergent, just, just especially brain weird. The Scientist trope but kind of a shitty scientist. smart. in love with charlotte. in love with desmond. likes rats a lot. talks weird and soft spoken. withdrawn and polite but with bursts of bitterness. his mom won’t let him live the live he wants to live. time travel weirdness. loves music. gifted kid burn out. has a mental and emotional collapse. thinks a hydrogen bomb will solve all his problems. skinny. touches people a lot. he’s not okay. romantic. overwhelmed. memory problems. his lack of life experience and softness is used to contrast miles. takes some statements literally. pretty vanilla (for now) and doesn’t know what certain kinks are. likes that charlotte is Tough & Rowdy. doesn’t swear much. bad hair. was unhinged in college. has radiation poisoning

libby: neurodivergent and in love with hurley

eko: yeah... i’ve legit only used him for jokes where charlie says something EXTREMELY vulgar and eko says “go to church”

charlotte: bi, loud, passionate, beautiful, angery, knows All The Languages, huge nerd, loves daniel and thinks he’s a Snack, outspoken feminist, archaeologist/anthropologist and wants to explore some fucking ruins, The Lost Lenore trope, loves chocolate, exasperated, great smile, subtly insecure, doesn’t get that she could just tell daniel how she feels, has had many indiana jones like adventures (off screen, of course), for example: crashing her dirtbike into all 7 wonders of the world

danielle: french and unhinged, has seen some shit

alex: just a young lady with no chill

jacob: suffers from terminal apathy. has little understand of human behaviour. doesn’t care about people. he just plain sucks. has no endearing qualities. causes many problems. beats the shit outta richard. doesn’t like technology. so removed from humanity that he’s a touch uncanny valley

christian, eloise, charles and anthony jokes each have their own kind of flavours but fuck it, i’ll sum them all up as: contemptuous cunts who deserve to die

aaron: just a baby boy. does baby things. has like 5 parents

vincent: a dog. a good boy. does he know more than he lets on? is he mysterious? no, he is just a dog

[qqueenofhades]

“I’ll take care of you.” “It’s rotten work.” “Not to me. Not if it’s you.” Pretty please for All Souls Gabriel and Garcia?

Nantes, BrittanyOctober 25, 1440

The scaffold stands nearby, looming in the darkness, the hangman’s noose clutching a gasp of empty air where tomorrow morning at nine o’clock, it will clutch Gilles de Rais’ wretched neck. Dry kindling has been stacked, awaiting the burning, and most townsfolk have kept well away from it, only to spit and cross themselves if they must pass. Nobody wants this to be a spectacle, grievous and awful as the accused’s crimes are. He was a war hero ten years ago, the close companion of Joan of Orléans, marching against the English invaders, heroically beating them back, and now this. Ordinarily he should have been sent to Paris for trial, but the courts do not want the English getting wind of the fact of Gilles de Rais’ crimes. Some details are so heinous they have been stricken from the court record. The sorcery and sodomy and murder, the unnatural usage of children before they were killed, the torture and the occult experimentations, the dabbling in black magic. It would be too convenient.

Gabriel de Clermont stands in the shadows of the far side, regarding the courtyard, the pacing guards, the knowledge that this square will be flooded with the folk of Nantes and the surrounding countryside by sunup tomorrow, all eager to see Rais burn. He stole their children, he was the monster that they welcomed into their homes and hung with laurels, he was the one they believed in, and it began almost the moment he returned home from Joan’s campaigns, after they burned her in Rouen. Gabriel knew the Maid of Orléans only briefly. He customarily finds religious zealots unpalatable and inflexible, but he had something of a soft spot for her, this tiny nut-brown peasant girl whose rural French sounded half like Occitan, spitting furious and full of righteousness, who was questioned for days and never broke, who put on armor and did what this entire godforsaken country has failed to do itself in beating the English. Gabriel is, after all, and has been for many centuries, French himself. And yet –

We should have done more, he thinks. We could have done more. They had to step back and let Joan burn, and then for eight years, even when appeals were sent to the Knights of Lazarus as knowledge of Gilles de Rais’ crimes began to seep out across the countryside like poison, his lord father has refused to take a hand. We do not fight the humans’ wars. We are not their judge and jury. Gabriel could recite the speech in his sleep. He knows, he knows, that it’s not that Asher de Clermont does nothing. Asher has protected the mortal world from threats they have never even imagined, has fought monsters beyond all comparison, has trained his sons to do the same, and the world itself made it through the last few hundred years, beset with its human problems even as it was, because the Knights of Lazarus were there. And yet, to stand here and look at this scaffold, soaked in eight years’ worth of children’s blood, because Asher did not deem it noble enough to interfere in humans’ business –

Gabriel breaks off and starts to walk, angry, burning, restless. He knows the arguments. We are too strong for them. We cannot appoint themselves their gods, their judge and jury. We cannot let them rely on us to do what they must do for themselves. No wonder the de Clermonts’ rivals jeer that Asher is too soft and too principled and too honorable to ever make a proper leader for their kind, even if they would not dare say that to the Grandmaster’s face. The humans are weak, they have been for years. Plague, famine, war, unrest, economic and religious and political upheaval. They tear themselves apart easily, they die like flies, in their hundreds and their thousands. The creatures, witches and vampires and daemons alike, could emerge from the shadows and strike, kill all the humans easily, make this their world, and it is only Asher’s restraint and power that stops them. Gabriel loves his father, adores him and admires him beyond all words, knows that they must make sacrifices, but at the same time –

You could have let us stop Gilles de Rais, he thinks. Just this once. Just as if you could have let us save Richard, and you did not.

Gabriel comes to a halt, leans against the wall of a wattle-and-daub inn, and then almost jumps out of his skin, fangs flashing out and eyes going black as he hisses, as someone’s hand touches his shoulder from behind. It takes only an instant after that for him to land rather sheepishly. “Ah,” he says breezily, feigning his usual devil-may-care demeanor. “Hello, darling.”

Garcia eyes him, unconvinced by this bravura performance. (He is the only one, Gabriel thinks poignantly, who would even know that it is one.) “What are you doing skulking out here?” his brother asks. “It’s getting late, and – ”

“They only intend to burn one monster tomorrow, so far as I am aware.” Nonetheless, Gabriel grudgingly consents to turn away from the square and the waiting scaffold. They walk down the lane, pass a tiny church, and Garcia absently crosses himself. He is Catholic in a way Gabriel is not, born to it just as the first missionaries were reaching the pagan Slavs of Ragusa, whereas Gabriel was born before the Romans nailed that Jewish carpenter to a tree and has duly converted with the rest of the family. As they emerge on the far side, Gabriel bursts out, “We could have stopped this, you know.”

Garcia pauses, a look of pain on his face. He takes a moment to answer. Finally he says, “You know that Papa – ”

“Yes,” Gabriel snaps, “yes, I know what Papa. Eight years. Eight years of – you’ve heard what that bastard Gilles has been doing, and if it was my child – if someone had laid a hand on Christian like that, torn him to pieces and used him vilely, and there was someone who could have stopped it happening to any other son, and did nothing because of principle – ”

Too late he wonders if he should be lashing out about their father to Garcia, as Garcia fears too much that Asher might not count him his own son enough to openly criticize him, but Garcia reaches out, grips Gabriel’s arms, and holds on hard. “Shh,” he says, a little roughly. “Shh, moje srce, we’ll make it right.”

“How?” Gabriel demands, the word raw on his tongue. This whole spectacle is doing nothing for his cherished reputation of never giving a fuck about anything, but it’s too late. “Turn back time? Bring those dead boys back to life? Apologize to the mothers and fathers for being able to do something, but deciding that our father just would not stand for it, so very sorry? If they marched on Sept-Tours with pitchforks and decided to avenge it, they would be entirely – ”

“Shh,” Garcia says again, more forcefully, and this time, Gabriel is forced reluctantly to listen. “We will watch Gilles de Rais burn tomorrow. We will do what we came to do, and we will see justice done. It’s not your ill. It’s not your sin. There are other battles to fight, where we can make more of a difference, stop much greater evils. All right?”

Gabriel doesn’t answer, chewing over it, not wanting to argue, still not entirely agreeing. Finally when he still doesn’t speak, Garcia says awkwardly, “Do you – do you want to find a brothel?”

“What?” That startles a disbelieving whoop of laughter out of Gabriel, despite his dark mood. “Did you just – you hate brothels!”

“Yes, well.” Garcia shrugs defensively. Vampires can’t flush, but he’s trying anyway. “I thought it would cheer you up.”

Gabriel isn’t sure how to respond to that. He looks at Garcia, still trying so hard to pretend that this is actually how he wants to spend his evening in any remote measure, sitting stiffly while the whores flirt with him and Gabriel goes upstairs with an armful and must be turfed out the next morning. “No, darling,” Gabriel says at last, with genuine regret that he loves Garcia too much to make him endure that – at least tonight, as both of them know full well there will be many others. “Come on, let’s find supper. Though if you propose to keep my company, be warned it’s much less scintillating than usual.”

Garcia shakes his head. “Not to me,” he says. “Not if it’s you.”

So they start to run, breaking into supernatural speed away from the village, bounding across the dark countryside in pursuit of stags to catch and drain, and sit together beneath the stars, and on that night, terrible as the weight of the injustice may be, Gabriel de Clermont does not mind his own sins so much.

(september prompt list)

[magaprima]

Part 2 Episode 5 Thoughts (1 out of 2)

Okay, before I begin my usual rambly analysis, just wanna say that first scene with Lilith and it focus on that cabinet...I’m sure I have that, or something very similar. But anyway, onwards

Can’t help but notice that when Lilith is sat in the chair, chatting to Stolas, swigging an enticing glass of whiskey, with the lighting and the way the fire is glowing in the hearth and casting her shadow all around the room, this not only creates the illusion of hell, reminding us of where exactly Lilith truly lives, that for all her time spent living in this cottage, her true home is in Pandemonium, but it also has very old-movie vibes when portraying a ‘devil woman’, all hellish colours and shadows, and we can also go onto the whole ‘shadow self’ idea, and how Lilith’s shadow is larger than her physical body, thus implying she’s much more powerful and ‘larger than life’ than she appears while pretending to be Ms Wardwell.

Also she is talking about this prophecy really openly and loudly with Stolas, fully aware that Adam is in the next room. I get the feeling she’s either totally forgotten about him being there, or her time at Baxter High and in Greendale has convinced her that humans never realise what’s really going on even if it bit them on the nose, so she’s just not being careful at all. 

‘Just as Sabrina performed an exorcism and a resurrection in perversion of the Nazarene’s miracles, she must now bring down the temple’ Some nice exposition there. And that is exactly what it feels like. It might as well be an aside in Macbeth for the way this was written. 

Also, Stolas, why are you asking which temple? What other temple is there besides the Church of Night? Get with the program, dude. But then when Lilith says about setting the bricks tumbling and Stolas replies, she genuinely laughs and I would love to know the sassy back and forth that went on between those two....before we discovered he was a spy for Lilith and so even her own familiar couldn’t be trusted. 

“I do so love stirring the cauldron”

I think this is one of the truest things about Lilith. She likes stirring things for the sake of stirring them sometimes, with no ulterior motive, she just enjoys seeing the chaos and chain reaction a simple stir can cause. And she genuinely has fun with these sorts of things, where she sets things in motion with a word or a look or an dea. I kind feel this goes back to the beginning, and how she essentially ‘stirred the cauldron’ in question God and Adam and defying him, and so comes from her desire to overturn the status quo which is quite intrinsic to who she is. No doubt, within reason, she stirs shit up in Hell too, and it wouldn’t take much for those court members to turn on each other. 

When Adam comes in and says ‘Mary’, Lilith stops mid drink and keeps her glass at her mouth as she looks at him, which I think does slightly imply she had forgotten just a little bit that he was in the next room. She’s gotten used to monologuing in privacy but now there’s someone there. A mortal someone. Also the fact she’s pretending to be someone called ‘Mary’, a Christian name, stands out even more when a moment ago she was all ‘bring down the temple’ and talking about the Nazarene etc. 

“I thought I heard you talking to someone” Yeah ‘thought’. 

Lilith throws him her usual polite Principal Wardwell smile she throws everyone when they’re asking questions she wants them to forget about, but the way she says ‘No, Adam, dear, go back to bed, I’ll be in shortly’, shows us how since the night of the Sweethearts Dance, she has definitely decided to keep him around. The risk of him interrupting her or causing to have to be ‘on’ with her Mary persona more often is worth his company apparently, which is very revealing. There’s no romance here, and they’re obviously not sleeping together (confirmed by his jammies being full buttoned plus the info we learned in Part 3 about his relationship with the actual Mary) but there’s already an odd...comfortability, which I don’t think Lilith has even realised, and most likely is telling herself it’s for convenience so people won’t come looking for him, but that hasn’t stopped her before with the pizza boy, the jock, Hawthorne...so how come Adam gets special treatment? 

Also he smiles so cutely  and nods at the way she says ‘I’ll be in shortly’ and he doesn’t ask her how long, doesn’t ask what she’s doing, he simply accepts that she wants to stay up a little longer on her own. He’s very respectful of her choices and of giving her distance when she wants it, and I think this is a large part about why Lilith didn’t kill him off even before she started to fall for him. 

She does roll her eyes a little once he’s gone, and it just makes me think that with him there she has to be Mary all the time. And she’s being the Mary he expects her to be; sweet, polite, concerned about her students etc. It’s only after the development towards the end of this episode, that we then see in the next episode, that while she’s still being ‘Mary’ she’s now behaving more like the Mary she is with Sabrina, which is more like herself. 

Also the fact Lilith glamours herself to look like Edward Spellman is not only one of only two times we see Lilith appearing as a man (the second time is as Adam when she goes to Mary for help, and yeah I need to analyse the fuckity fuck out of that moment) because Lilith, understandably, seems to prefer being a woman even when wearing a glamour, but it’s also quite an interesting thing for her to pretend to be, considering Lilith does play, inadvertently, a parental role towards Sabrina quite often, and you could reason even more so in Part 3. And then with the fact Lilith is now carrying Lucifer’s child just as Diana did, well the whole Edward connection is even more observationally interesting. 

Also Lilith just popping out of the shadows after removing the glamour and looking down on Sabrina and being all ‘and bring down the temple, she shall’ very clearly shows Lilith obviously thinks they’ll never see her in a million years because they never do; and guess what? She’s right. 

Then when Sabrina goes to her for help, and she’s all ‘And your Father’s ghost told you all of this, that Father Blackwood murdered him and your Mother’, it always makes me wonder how much truth was in that. Lilith never does outright lies, she uses the truth to lie as that’s usually more convincing and harder to disapprove, so I imagine there are some elements of truth here. We do know Edward had a manifesto Blackwood wouldn’t have wanted, and now Blackwood has his own manifesto, so there’s motivation, plus we know Faustus disliked a lot of things that Edward wanted for the Churches of Darkness (Equality for witches, for one)...is it possible Blackwood tried to stop them getting the manifesto to the Anti-Pope and the whole thing went wrong? That he was to blame but by accident? Or was it one of his dedicated Judas Society boys that did it? Taking Blackwood’s words as instruction rather than complaint, and then realising what had happened, covered it up to save himself as much as anything? I just feel there are elements of truth here and it does make sense for him to be connected to it all things considered, but I’m just not quite sure which parts are accurate and which are exaggerated. 

“Well, I’ll be damned” Usually, they stay stuff in the reverse in this show. ‘Those blessed Pagans’ instead of ‘those cursed Pagans’, and ‘what in the heaven’ instead of ‘what in the hell’, so I feel like ‘I’ll be damned’ should be reversed, like ‘I’ll be blessed’ or something along that line. I feel this was just a slip up on the writers part (much how I hated in the little mermaid on Broadway, they had the sisters say ‘she doesn’t even dip her toe in’ rather than ‘her tail in’; keep with the lexicon, people!) but I would really love if it was because she was spending so much time with Adam and so having to be careful what she says and how she says things, and she’s got into a habit of saying ‘I’ll be damned’ and ‘what the hell’ and didn’t realise she did it with Sabrina. 

When Sabrina says ‘you were his secretary, what do you remember about that time?’ you see the slightest flicker in Lilith’s expression where she’s like ‘oh yeah I was his secretary wasn’t I? And...in love with him, I think? But yes secretary...and obviously, I know things’ and so she proceeds to do what she does often with Sabrina; bluffs, bluffs like hell. She even has the same vibe as the exorcism episode where she’s all pacing around, avoiding Sabrina’s eye as she instead looks into the fire, going ‘ah, well, erm, yes, I...’ and buying herself time to come up with a story, trying to remember what she does know about what happens and neatly tying herself into it.

When she finally has a story in mind, she literally swivels around, chin lifted, like yes I am here with a story, I’m good now, let’s start again. Ahem, there was an enquiry. You can literally see that that she has taken that brief hesitant moment to come up with everything she’s about to say now, but the difference from here to exorcism episode, is she now has Sabrina’s full trust, so she doesn’t have to go so crazy and elaborate and all over the place with her story. She keeps it short and simple and it’s safe and convincing.

“An inquiry, immediately after the crash, the very definition of a whitewash”; definitely happened, therefore she starts with the truth, an indisputable fact, but she delivers it with emotion, reminding Sabrina subtly ‘yes I love him too and the whitewash of it all hurt’ and obviously that makes her story not just believable but sympathetic; she and Sabrina both want justice for Edward, don’t they?

“You know who ordered it and reviewed it’s findings of course?” Again, easy fact to know and prove, so we can definitely assume Blackwood was in charge, and it would make sense since he became High Priest in Edward’s place. 

But then Sabrina starts asking legit questions such as why did Blackwood want to kill her parents, was it purely for ambition, what work was she trying to stop and Lilith now has to move into the manipulation part of the story, bending the truth, telling it in a way as to make it work in her favour. 

“Your Mother and Father were bound for Rome, well more accurately the Vatican necropolis beneath Rome, he was to meet with the Anti-Pope and deliver his manifesto, a bold doctrine to reform the church of night” I’m guessing this is all true, unless Lilith went to the lengths of shoving Edward’s manifesto into the bottom of the ocean, this all seems correct, but this would have been information easily researched, and no doubt the reason Hilda and Zelda don’t talk about it, as it’s the idea that maybe someone in the church wanted him dead for his manifesto and they can’t face the idea of that. So they always insist it’s an accident. 

“A traditionalist like Blackwood would do anything to stop Edward from presenting it to the Anti-Pope” Now this is the bit which is more theory than fact, but note how she doesn’t state it as fact, it’s all ‘well he is a traditionalist’ which is very true, so she lets Sabrina fill in the gaps there, she doesn’t commit to the theory, only suggests it. Stirring the cauldron. But, considering how vehemently Blackwood tries to stop Sabrina presenting the manifesto and his wide-eyed look when he sees it, and how he freaking KILLS the Anti-Pope to stop it all, suggests Lilith might have hit the nail on the head. Whether it was Blackwood himself or, as I said above, one of his boys taking it upon himself to do it and Blackwood covered it up, I think we can safely presume he was involved somehow. 

“What was in the manifesto? You must have kept a copy” Sabrina says and you would think, as his secretary. Mary would indeed have a copy. But Lilith knows this is the one bit she can’t bullshit, because if Sabrina gets to the manifesto what she claims was in it could be easily disproven, so Lilith doesn’t even make an attempt, she simply she says no there was only one, but when she says ‘somewhere at the bottom of the ocean’ she yet again plays the hurt and sad card, that subtle reminder that she cared about Edward too, it all encourages Sabrina to share with her, to trust her, to believe they’re in this together. 

“Well, then your parents would not have died in vain” That was the money phrase right there. That’s the one that Lilith knows will push Sabrina into action, the idea that not only have her parents been murdered, but that their attempts were lost and all for nothing, directly appeals to her sense of family loyalty and her ‘I must do what’s right no matter the cost’ vibe. Lilith’s smile is almost smug but she manages to hold it back, because she’s probably thinking ‘Getting Sabrina to take on Blackwood and avenge her Father to bring down the temple is literally the easiest task ever. I’m done and it’s not even lunch’.

Also, later on when Adam asks about Sabrina, that tells us he was in the house when Sabrina was there. Did she meet him? I mean she must have seen him at the dance but did she actually meet him here? Did she realise he was a mortal and so keep quiet, but then think to herself that Ms Wardwell is even more someone she can trust, because she wants a life with mortals just as Sabrina does? Also she told Sabrina the reason she was excommunicated for wanting to marry a mortal; does she think Adam is that mortal? Or that it was so long ago that that mortal has died and Adam is new? Why could we not have had a scene where Adam walked in on Lilith and Sabrina and awkwardness ensued??

[tarysande]

Hello, I love your lucifer thoughts, and if you want to write it I would love to now your thoughts on lucifer using names/nicknames

I’ve thought about this a lot. I even touched on my personal headcanon about it in the last chapter of Taking the Fall :)

Obviously, Lucifer uses nicknames or alternative names a lot. I think he says the word “Chloe” less than a dozen times across three seasons, while he uses “Detective” or “the Detective” hundreds. She’s even saved as “the Detective” in his phone. 

So, let’s start at the beginning. (In the beginning...) The show has drawn from many sources to construct Lucifer Morningstar as we know him. Obviously, we’ve got the comics. Personally, I see a bit more of Neil Gaiman’s Lucifer than Mike Carey’s (and, to be completely honest, I feel like a bit of Gaiman’s Crowley may be mixed in there as well). In Carey’s comics, Lucifer is much more able to think in the Very Long Term, for example, and is essentially always acting on a Plan of his own (which creates a neat parallel between God and Lucifer, but I digress). Gaiman’s Lucifer is the one who is Done with Hell and basically hands over the keys; he’s also the one who cuts off his wings; he’s the one who speaks the great lines the show used to such effect--about not being responsible for humanity’s sins and disliking that he’s blamed for things he’s not responsible for. He’s also the one who retires to LA, starts a nightclub called Lux, and really has a thing for sunsets. Gaiman was also the one who established that Lucifer was once called Samael. Gaiman’s Lucifer is heavily influenced by Milton’s Paradise Lost iteration of Lucifer (he of “It’s better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven” fame; Milton’s Lucifer gets all the best lines). He’s not distinctly (or solely) comprised of Christian or Jewish mythologies, though both influence the character.

In his short story, “Murder Mysteries,” (which features the same Lucifer he incorporated into the Sandman comics) Gaiman establishes at length how angels are named. First, they include “el”, which means, “of God.” The other part of their name indicates their purpose. Samael, depending on the translation, can mean venom, poison, or blindness of God. I don’t know about you, but if my name was Poison, I’d probably feel like I got the short end of the naming stick. This is contrasted, of course, by the same angel carrying the name (or perhaps title), Lucifer. When Gaiman introduces him, it’s by another character saying, “He was the Creator's finest creation: the angel Samael, called Lucifer. It means ‘the bringer of light.’ Of all the angels he was the wisest, the most beautiful, the most powerful. Saving only his Creator, he is, perhaps, the most powerful being there is.”

When Lucifer Fell, he abandoned the name Samael. He rejected it. Poison or not, he was no longer “of God.” Whether out of spite or anger or truth, Lucifer rejects the name his Father gave him in favor of the title. He identifies himself as Bringer of Light; this is the name he chooses. In the show, we witness Lucifer’s reaction to Samael when Linda speaks it. It angers him. Upsets him. After all this time, he is not indifferent to it. And though he claims not to care about many things related to his past, the name is very obviously a match to very dry tinder.

Names, to Lucifer, mean something beyond just monikers to identify one individual instead of another. Names having power is pretty common in mythology. The show also indicates that angels, specifically, can be summoned by prayer--presumably invoking their names with intention; Lucifer summons both Amenadiel and Uriel this way. It’s unknown whether Lucifer can still be summoned (or hear) prayers. It’s also unknown whether that prayer would have to be directed at his of-God angel name; still, I think there are many reasons why Lucifer holds names at arm’s length.

Names are also intimate; knowing them and using them can indicate deeper relationships, connections. Even with all the growth we’ve seen in Lucifer, he is still leery (if not afraid, though he’d never put it that way) of intimacy, friendship, connection. Lucifer has, for almost the entirety of his existence, been alone. Even when he wasn’t physically alone, his relationships have been marked by power imbalances. In Heaven, he was “of God”--created for a purpose and pretty unrepentantly “part of God’s plan.” In Hell, he was Lord and Master; Maze is/was the closest thing he had to a friend, and we continue to see how unbalanced that relationship was. You can’t truly be friends with someone when you see them as an underling, an employee, as belonging to you in a manner that implies use. 

This question of usefulness is a huge one, and probably deserving of its own meta, but since it also comes back to names, I’ll touch on it quickly: Again, from the beginning of his existence, Lucifer has existed to be of use--first, as God’s brightest angel; then, as Lord of Hell. This notion of usefulness as balance or quid pro quo is woven so intrinsically into Lucifer’s understanding of himself that it very nearly becomes his definition. Balance, justice, an eye for an eye--all of these things are irrevocably part of the fabric of Lucifer. When he desires something, he doesn’t just take; he trades. To be certain the trade is equal, he asks what the subject of his desire desires, essentially asking, “What can I give you that’s equal to what I wish to take from you?” It’s also the basis of his favors: “If I do this for you, you owe me in equal measure; this is non-negotiable.”

Because Samael was, in his mind, treated unfairly, Lucifer (light-bringer meaning both physical light and the light of truth) has unbreakable codes of fairness. They may not always look like a human understanding of fairness, but Lucifer’s internal morality (ironically) is pretty sacrosanct. Essentially, he may be judge and jury and punisher, but he does make sure the trial is fair. In Sandman, Hell builds itself around Lucifer. This may not be explicitly stated on the show, but the notion of hell-loops and guilt and punishment equaling the crime are all very Luciferian. Did Hell alter itself to suit his sense of justice? Or did Hell’s justice affect Lucifer? (Given that we do know at least a little about pre-Hell Samael/Lucifer, I think it’s more the former.)

So, nicknames. Lucifer uses positive nicknames and negative ones. The tone is important. Brother can be scornful, angry, frustrated, almost spiteful. And sometimes, especially as Lucifer and Amenadiel’s relationship changes over time, it can be genuine and even grateful. Brother/sister/Mum are actually really important, I think. These are family relationships that have been all but severed for an unfathomable amount of time, but Lucifer still uses them (and not always sarcastically or with derision). Tellingly, his family still uses brother/son with him, as well. Lucifer still wants connection, but he no longer trusts it; it can be taken from him. Using nicknames/epithets is a way to keep people at a distance--he makes them their job, their position (the Detective, obviously, but also Dr. Linda); in some cases, he keeps things formal (Ms. Lopez); in others, the nickname is openly scornful (Detective Douche; sneering Cain--the secret name; the murderer’s name--instead of using Pierce).

Lucifer diminutizes names when he’s lording over people or displaying superiority (Pierce becomes Piercy; Reece becomes Reecy. Reece actually has a bunch of nicknames, and you can always tell how Lucifer feels about the guy at any given moment based on how he refers to him). He calls criminals by their crimes (“Hello, murderer.”), relegating them to their crimes, their sins, their actions, and taking away the humanity of a name full-stop. Sometimes Lucifer’s nicknames are tools, sometimes they’re weapons; I think sometimes they’re even gifts, or at least an attempt to create a connection even though the most intimate or closest avenue (just using their name) is still too much for him (Dr. Linda is not the very formal Dr. Martin; Ms. Lopez is very occasionally ‘dear Ella’; he uses darling, love, lovely a lot--mostly positive, but again, tone is a factor. I’d hate to be on the wrong end of a scornful or hateful darling).

Also related to power/superiority is his insistence that people use his name--the name he chose, that he adopted. Ella swiftly changes Luce to Lucifer. Similarly, he is very open about the identity he adopted--the Devil. When things arise to question that identity or poke at it too hard, he becomes unsettled, even untethered. The wings/devil face of S3 was all about this notion of forced rather than chosen identity (at least as he saw it).

Though he is initially scornful, however, he does let his family use nicknames--again, I think that’s part of some long-buried part of him that wants to belong but just does not want to belong as Samael (that is, on his father’s terms). So, Amenadiel calls him Luci. Azrael calls him Lu. Neither gets the violent, visceral response of Linda’s Samael. 

Obviously, a whole separate essay could be written on Lucifer’s use (and not use) of Chloe/the Detective. He uses her name when he’s at his most desperate and his happiest. He uses her name, in short, when he’s at his most vulnerable. Sometimes, he’s accepting of this vulnerability (when he’s praying to his father) and sometimes, I don’t think he realizes how vulnerable he is (when he’s just announced to Maze and Mum that he and Chloe are real). In essence, he treats her name as something near-holy, almost sacred. She holds power over him, whether he’s conscious of it or not; her immunity to his power is part of it--she is, in essence, unknowable because he cannot fall back on the familiar to understand her. His feelings for her, obviously, are another part of it; this is a very particular and uncomfortable kind of vulnerability that he both craves and is terrified of (caring about something that much means it can hurt you, and the last time he cared, he was hurt beyond all belief--and certainly, in his mind, in a manner committed the unforgivable crime of being unjust).

So, after all this discussion, I think the takeaway is that Lucifer uses nicknames as weapons to wield or consolidate power, shields to keep himself at a distance and defend himself from hurt, jokes to deflect, arrows to wound (and, ironically, usually those harsh nicknames are poison-tipped). And all of this is rooted in his own very complicated history with names--and with how names have been used to influence him or inflict pain, especially concerning power/powerlessness, control, and choice.

[afniel]

Hey Afniel, I’ve been following your blog for more than 4 years now. I’d appreciate if u could give me an advice. I have no slightest clue how to tell my gf who’s from a Christian family that I let Lilith into my life. (Not for sex or her succubus. Lilith has been very supportive on my spiritual journey. I talked to her a lot when I had depression.) I love her like a mother figure. She’s one of the guiding light in my darkest hours. Thank you for your time, R

Hello R.! First of all...wow, that's really flattering, thanks for sticking around even after I've become a lot less active. Tumblr ain't what it used to be.

It's hard to say, with minimal information, but the best advice I can give you is to start small, and decide for yourself how important this is for you to share, and what kind of reactions could be deal breakers for you. It's scary to talk about religion in a relationship where you don't share the same beliefs, and breaking up over it is a very real possibility. (Hell, it's scary to talk about sometimes even if you do share the exact same beliefs.) Figure out your boundaries, and when you have a feel for them, maybe ask your girlfriend something relatively small to break the ice, especially if she doesn't know you're working with spirits other than Christian God/Jesus/etc. Something like, "Hey, how do you feel about people practicing [whatever you call your path]?" might be a good starting point, sometime when you've got time and privacy to talk about it, and a good overall mood to start from.

It might be that she's super conservative and disapproves entirely. In that case, it's going to be on you to either

gently educate her if you can on what your practice means to you and actually looks like,

drop the subject and agree to disagree, but possibly talk about it again later,

just never talk about it again and forget about it (personally not what I'd recommend, it sets a poor foundation for communication about personal beliefs),

or, hopefully not but I'm listing it because it can happen, just disengage from the relationship as a worst-case scenario.

Actually showing someone what you do and believe and feel can be powerful. Coming from a very conservative community in my own upbringing, Christians get told a lot of ridiculous stuff about what non-Christians actually get up to. If she's been raised on the all too common narrative that everything that's not of God is explicitly against God, then she's going to hear you initially through that perspective. But we both know you aren't sacrificing babies or whatever. Hopefully, she can see that your beliefs and experiences don't match at all with the 'every spirit that isn't God Himself is the Devil's work.' Hopefully she isn't even that ridiculously conservative, but it's possible and I'm not sure so I'm covering all the bases.

And hey, maybe she's actually chiller than that. She might be surprisingly receptive, if she's got her own as-yet unspoken doubts about her conservative religious background. There's cool Christians out there who take that whole "judge not lest ye be judged" thing seriously and don't antagonize people of other faiths. I hope she turns out to be one of those.

Basically, however it goes, if this is a conversation you're sure you want to have, make it clear from the start that this is something serious and important to you, but you're willing to genuinely hear and address her concerns. She will probably need some reassurance and explanation, at minimum, but come at it from a place of caring about her reaction and trying to help her understand. (Which is really just how you healthily go about any deep discussion about personal matters like this.) And again, no rush either, wait for or make a good, private, calm time to start from.

I hope it goes well for you, R.! Best of luck with talking to her. If you want to keep me updated with how it goes, no pressure but I'm interested in hearing about it.

[cybercowboykidexpert]

My ex boyfriend of six years cheated on me and I developed a puzzle addiction

Dedicated to Joshua Timity and Anna Wonsley

I’m just saying, I didn’t get cheated on when Obama was president…

Today is January 17th, 2019. 27 days have passed in the government shutdown so as you can imagine I’ve had an incredible amount of free time on my hand. And how dare President Trump let me sit idle with these thoughts for this long? Doesn’t he care that if I don’t have constant stimulation 24/7 I will slowly dwindle and become my own personal hell? So inconsiderate.

What?

He doesn’t care about us?

Anyways, Here’s the story:

On July 1st, 2018 my beloved high school sweetheart Josh cheated on me. On that day, I was watching a Nats game with my beloved coworkers. Can I tell you all that he had the audacity on that day to get mad at me for the lack of invite? Talk about ironic.

Since July some things have happened. We stopped having sex. He stopped being present. In September, Josh and I took a break because he wasn’t sure I was the one. I received empty promises of love.

What does it feel like when your partner is distancing themselves? Heart-wrenching metaphor time! You’re essentially a cow and your partner is the farmer. I mean- you’re a cow how the hell are you supposed to know that murder is your eminent fate?

Today, is slaughter day. The farmer grabs you by the rope and starts stroking your head to make you feel as comfortable as possible. And in that moment, you’re like- damn this rocks! But as you make your way to this new building you’ve never seen in the back of your mind- you know this can’t be good. You think to yourself…hmm... I’ve never ever seen any of my cow friends return from this mysterious house alive- but maybe just maybe I could be the exception.

Surprise! You’re not.

I think majority of us have experienced the sensation of being let go. I could use a thesaurus on this one but the best word to describe this is, well, it sucks.

Let’s fast-forward to October. The break is now over, and Josh tells me he wants more time. I tell him we need to break up. I cry a bit. I give him my world-famous bread pudding recipe. We exchange hugs. I delete all the photos off my phone, Instagram and Facebook. We have a true millennial breakup.

I begin my healing process. I don’t eat for 4-5 days. I watch an ungodly amount of the office on Netflix because if anyone is going to fix the broken heart it’s Michael Scott. And 8 days into my sulking, October 29th, I get the infamous text from my ex:

“Hey, I know you need space and time… but I’d really like to talk to you about something”

And in my naivety- I genuinely believed my ex-boyfriend wanted to get back together. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

We sat in his Subaru. To clarify- no my ex is not a 45-year-old soccer mom looking for safety and security in a vehicle, he’s just a 23-year-old man with terrible taste.

He turns to me with tears in his eyes and mutters- “I cheated on you”.

A thousand questions and emotions overtook my body.

“When?”

“July”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Who?”

“One of my coworkers.”

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“She has a husband… and a kid.”

“Oh so you’re an actual motherf**ker?”

(He set up that joke himself.)

I took 2 lessons away from my college psychology 100 class. First, my psychology professor has a learned taste aversion to peppermint schnapps. Second, our body has an innate instinct to fight or flight when danger is presented.

So, I did what any rational 23-year-old girl would do- I got out of the car and began to run. Josh follows my pursuit and catches up to me. A lot more crying ensues, and he falls to his knees and begins to cry as well. I’d give my performance a solid Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. His performance was riveting 10/10. Leonardo Dicaprio in The Revenant.

October 29th was the worst day of my life.

I begin my healing process...again. I don’t eat for 1-2 weeks. I watch an ungodly amount of the office on Netflix and realize Michael Scott can’t even fix this. At this point, my friends are sick of hearing me snot cry on the phone. I needed a new vice, a new distraction that could make me not think about anything. Something equally numbing and time consuming. Something that could never cheat on me with a 35-year-old mom.

Puzzles.

Everyday for a month I come home from work and I start solving jigsaw puzzles. And for a couple hours a day- I didn’t have to think about anything.

When you think about it- puzzles are a lot like break ups. It’s a thousand little pieces that you have no idea where they go or how they fit- but you’re determined to make it work. Sometimes it’s not that the piece doesn’t fit- you just have to view it from a different angle.

I no longer have a puzzle addiction.

I gave up midway through a 1000-piece puzzle of the Grand Canyon.

I don’t find the need to solve and figure out anything anymore. I know that there’s nothing I could’ve done to change the outcome of my situation. I was an incredible girlfriend. I never made him feel unloved or unattractive. I was his number #1 fan. But I never asked myself- am I being a good friend to myself? Do I make myself feel loved and beautiful? Am I my number 1 fan?

I relied so heavily on having my existence validated by someone who didn’t love me enough to tell me he didn’t want to be with me anymore.

This story doesn’t really have a beautiful redeeming entity. I’m still angry. I signed his coworker up for a newsletter for Christian women with sex addictions. Oh, and counseling group for Mormon women. She might also be getting spammed by a cat lovers email list. Sorry Anna.

I don’t want you to feel bad for me- I know that I’ll be okay. The world has a funny way of delivering us grief and then granting us joy. And on the brightside- I have 15 puzzles I can now sell.

Let me know if you’re interested.

(Quick update to this: Joshua Timity and Anna Wonsley (or Grushi remember she’s married y’all) are currently in a relationship. Shoutout to Andrew Gause Martial Arts for hooking them up. Tae kwan do power couple! Now I know what we’re thinking- how is a married mom in a relationship? Girl I have no idea. Despite him telling me that she’s ugly, less than nothing and unsuccessful- I guess they were perfect for each other. And by perfect I mean they deserve each other. Two miserable people. And if you’re her husband and you find this, maybe talk to your wife idk?)

[xparrot]

today in fanning

(crossposted from dreamwidth)

So we recently watched the FOX show Lucifer. And now I want there to be more of a fandom for it, because it tickles me in just that fannish way. In some ways it's a hard sell because it's not exactly a good show; it's tropey and cliche and even at its best, it's a cautiously shallow dive into some deep waters. Though based on the Lucifer of Gaiman's The Sandman and other DC comics, those horror/philosophy stories are a very loose antecedent; the show is a lightweight police procedural -- albeit with supernatural elements, but those arcs are usually the B-plot to the murder of the week. It follows that established genre of the main het pair of a by-the-books (usually female) cop teamed up with a wacky (usually male) "civilian consultant" with a mysteriously vital skillset, and plays it straight, UST and all. The civilian consultant in this case is the fallen angel Lucifer, recently retired from Hell and looking for entertainment and purpose on Earth by helping solve crimes. He owns a night club and goes to therapy (one of my favorite parts of the show, poor Dr. Linda) and hides his divine nature under the most impenetrable cover, which is that he tells anyone who asks that his legal name is Lucifer Morningstar, you know, Satan, and the reason that identity only goes back five years is because that's when he came up from Hell, which he used to rule, because he is in fact the Devil, and also he would appreciate it if people would stop blaming him for all their sins. And yes, those scars on his back are from when he cut off his wings. And no, he is not a method actor. Really. The procedural cases are run of the mill and the angelic mythology isn't anything too original -- but it's developed nicely, and the cast is beautiful and has fabulous chemistry. It's one of those shows that just feels like everyone has fun making it together. I don't have any OTPs in particular, but most combos of the characters are entertaining. I lowkey ship pretty much any relationship that isn't blood-family (and those platonic relationships I naturally adore). And Lucifer himself is pure fannish catnip for a certain type of fan, that is, if you have a thing for the devil-may-care lunatics and wildly inappropriate hedonists with darker backstories who secretly care more deeply than they ever should, and are slowly realizing they want and want to be more, and occasionally shatter into a glorious mess of angst...yeah, he pushes my buttons hard. The star Tom Ellis does a great job with the part; he deftly walks the line between obnoxious and charming, projecting confidence, glee, and menace without losing comedic lightness. He is supposed to be supernaturally attractive and he sells it well -- he's not the hottest guy on TV (which isn't to say he's any trouble to look at, and the directors -- many women among them -- know how to shoot those dark eyes and fitted suits to excellent advantage) but he carries himself like he knows he's irresistible, which is what counts. And he is so very good at maniacally smirking at people like he's about three seconds away from either going down on them or going for their throat. He's also great at being completely emotionally devastated. I can point to the exact scene I really fell for the character and with him the show; it's partway through second season and I would be embarrassed by how cliche a fangirl I am, except that unabashed fanning like this is really just fun. The Lucifer show is such a marvelously old-school fan experience for me, a so-so but cute show with a fun cast and a few shining moments of fannish delight. (It's old-school in less fortunate ways as well -- especially first season is problematic, with obvious and oblivious racism, sexism, consent issues, etc. That improves, but other issues remain. Throughout the show it all but ignores other faiths -- like Supernatural, it's not exactly Christian in that Christianity or Christ is never name-checked; but Christian mythology is all that's explored (I actually prefer no mention to badly handled dismissal or appropriation, but ymmv.) Like most procedurals, it tends to tilt more conservative than I'm really comfortable with, in the politics of crime and also socially -- like, Lucifer is canonically bi/pansexual, but we see him with way more women than men, while the demoness Mazikeen we also see being sexy with more women than men.) The first season is on the slow side -- actually it feels bizarrely old-fashioned; without contextual clues I swear I'd have mistaken it for late-90s TV, down to how it's shot. The second season is when the show hits its stride -- not only does it have a stronger story arc, but it expands the cast (including adding the gorgeous and hilarious Tricia Helfer; with her and another, the main cast is more female than male) and develops all the character relationships, mixing and matching in unexpected ways and giving everyone a chance to shine, such that a lot of chars who start out annoying end up becoming awesome. Maze especially is by-the-numbers seductive torturer in season 1; in season 2 she starts making friends and the actress gets a chance to show her range, particularly her comic side. Also Dan, who starts out as the stereotypical 'douchey cop still hung up on his ex-wife' but moves into a more solid supportive friendship with Chloe (exes who have genuinely moved on romantically but are still friends/family is so one of my kinks) -- and also ends up in ridiculous situations with Lucifer, which I suspect is because the actors play off each other so well they started writing to it. The third season (which the show is finishing up now) has been extremely erratic; the plot arc isn't as directed as 2nd season's, and the characters are regressed somewhat. But it's had some good stuff, too, enough that I'm hoping it gets renewed. And meanwhile I'm looking for fic, which is pretty slim pickings -- it's a mid-sized fandom, but the focus is nearly all on the main het pairing of Lucifer and his detective partner Chloe, and while I don't mind the ship, it's one of the less interesting aspects of the show to me. As is my wont, I mostly want gen team-Lucifer stories. (That or Lucifer/Dan stories, because it would be too funny. There needs to be an episode that Lucifer and Dan wake up naked in bed and handcuffed together and have to solve a murder together by figuring out what happened to them, which might be easier if Lucifer would stop suggesting that they should have sex (again?) to see if it sparks any memories...)

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 13x02

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Trigger warning for mentions of self-harm and suicide

I felt asleep on the sofa. Don’t mention it.

Ah Bucklemming. On the plus side: they didn’t kill off a fan favourite. On the down side: everything else? It just felt like exposition, exposition, expostion, that really cool thing Dean did with the angel blade, expostion. Like a big info dump instead of an episode, with a weird cutting between the scenes, and the usual awkward dialogues (do they even read their scripts? Do they think actual people talk like this?). I mean we had worse from them, but it always saddens me to see in one week how great this show can be (13x01) and then we have this. I don’t think there was much to learn about the characters, at least nothing we didn’t already know, so I will focus a bit more on the mytharc stuff and what we could possible see in this season.

Bizarro World

In which Mary lands in apocalypse world and her hair still looks better than mine *sigh*. I really hope they kill of Lucifer, simply because the guy (and the dude who plays him) likes to hear himself talk. And is it just me but I think the reason why he keeps Mary alive doesn’t really make sense? He wants her as a trade for his son, but a trade doesn’t sound like Lucifer. Like, at all. I assumed he would just take Jack with him, and needed Mary to get back to our world. And by now I’m not sure iof Jack even wanted to be reunited with Lucifer, but maybe Dean’s behaviour will get him there? Believing his father is the only one who cares about him? (And does he? Don’t give this character feelings or a redemption arc, please don’t)

So, we learned a few new things about bizarro world. Appearently women are hard to find, which turned all men into rapists, because Bucklemming can’t write an episode without any sort of sexual assault in it. Angels dress up like soldiers, and Michael is cosplaying Cas. And he doesn’t kill Lucifer because he needs him, hopefully not for another trade. But why though? I wonder if this Micheal regrets killing Lucifer, because the big endfight didn’t bring paradise on earth like promised. Now he is stuck in an eternal warzone and maybe that is why he needs Lucifer to fix it? Also, look at these screencapes from the Shaving things promo: (credit to @postmodernmulticoloredcloak)

That looks like a cage to me. Is this some sort of ritual? Let me hear your thoughts.

Asmodeus

I already don’t like him. Dude looks like a comic book villian in his white suit and his accent makes it hard for me to understand what he says. I had a hard time understanding why he would wanted Lucifer and Jack to return, especially after he told stunt demon number three how Lucifer humiliated him, but at the end the picture got clearer. Asmodeus is out for revenge, and he tries to get Jack in order to help him achive his goal (the same way Crowley wanted to use Amara, and we all know how that ended). He asks (as Donatello) Sam about two things: Jack’s powers and his relationship to Lucifer. What he learns: Jack might be one day even more powerfull than Lucifer and he barely knows his father. Bucklemming are not very subtle with it, but you can see the direction in which this is going and why Asmodeus won’t stop to manipulate Jack.

Other than that Asmodeus was used to introduce a whole lot of new stuff to the show’s mythology. In true Bucklemming fashion they just created new stuff instead of working within the existing mythology, to make the story they wanted to tell work. I hated it.

So, appearently Princes of Hell can shapeshift, which from now on will have us second guessing everyone who even looks at Jack. Also, there is another gate of hell, a special one, because why not? Makes Azazel’s big plan in season 2 kind of redundant. And now there are the Shedim, who will probably play a bigger role in this season. They are actually quite interesting, at least if you look at their wikipedia entry:

Shedim are said to have had the feet and claws of a rooster and share some characteristics both of human and angels. Like angels, they know the future and have wings, but like humans they eat, drink, procreate and die. [...] The shedim are not always seen as malicious creatures and are also considered to be helpful to humans.

That... sounds like Jack? not the rooster part of course, but: both human and angel? Check. Knows the future (his vision in 12x19) and has wings (can teleport)? Check. Eats and drinks (and sleeps)? Check. Helpful to humans? Check. But also:

Asmodeus is a king of demons [...]. In Jewish and Islamic lore he is the king of the demons (Shedim/Jinn).

Asmodeus is already linked to the Shedim, he wants to free them, but he also wants to free Jack (”Jack, they wanna stop you. Contain you”).

Nougat

Can someone just like hug him? Kid needs a hug. A lot of what we saw was a continuation of 13x01: Sam thinks Jack can be good, Dean thinks he’s the devil. Nature vs nuture (and thanks Bucklemming for letting Donatello spelling it out, it’s not like every meta writer came to this conclusion since may this year). So far the jury is still out. What we know is that Jack is powerfull, enough to draw Donatello to him, and that he will become more powerfull. But his powers still don’t seem like a part of him, he has no control over them. He uses them unknowingly during times of emotional stress: when he is afraid, or hurting, or angry. He needs to learn to understand his emotions and how his powers are influenced by them, or else he ends up like the next Anakin Skywalker. (@margarittet wrote a great meta about the connections between Star Wars and what we could possible see in season 13, go read it).

Jack is still paralled a lot to his foster dad Cas. We start the episode with him sleeping in the back of the car like Cas did in 5x22, he enjoys TV the way Cas does (Scooby Doo, so you can bet Jack is somehow causing Scoobynatural) and he desperately wants Dean’s approveal. Mimicking Dean? That is what Cas has been doing for years. His whole manuael on how to be human is to act like Dean. And what is the first thing Dean teaches him about being human? that pain is being part of it. Because at the moment Dean is nothing but hurting.

There was a short moment where Jack rembered Lucifer reaching out to him, which was quite interesting, because if anything Jack seemed afraid of him. Donatello tells us that his power is not dark or toxic like Lucifer’s was, but then again power is just power, neither good or bad.

Sam tells Jack that he believes he is worth saving, like his mother and Cas did. Unlike them Sam though was never influenced by Jack. His faith in him is genuine. Also, with all the brainwashing talk, we should remember that Kelly already loved her son before 12x19. She wanted to keep him, to raise him, to take care of him. It was only after she learned that she wouldn’t be able to do so, and that Dagon would twist him into something evil, that she decided to take her life. At least when it comes to Kelly I like to believe she and Jack influenced each other in equal parts. “I was her”.

So what is Jack to the Winchesters? In the tattoo parlour Sam says they are brothers, that the tattoo is a family crest. But the tattoo vanishes, and though it is unintentional on Jack’s side it is rather symbolic. He is not a part of the Winchester family (yet). Later he calls them his friends.

The ending scene was pretty heavy. Jack doesn’t know who he is. More so, he is afraid to find out, that he will hurt everyone around him and can’t be saved. It was an interesting choice that Dean stopped him. Dean, who never believed he deserved to be saved, not after hell or the MoC. And he tells Jack the same. And I get where Dean was coming from, why he said, but that doesn’t make it OK. Dean telling Jack he will be the one to kill him makes me believe the opposite now, that Dean will die for Jack (who will bring him back of course).

Also, when Jack read the bible we saw The Book of Solomon opening:

Jewish tradition reads it as an allegory of the relationship between God and Israel. Christian tradition, in addition to appreciating the literal meaning of a romantic song between man and woman, has read the poem as an allegory of Christ and his "bride", the Christian Church.

Now, I already speculated about Jack’s fate on the show. If he turns out to be good where will be his place in the universe? I could see him replacing God, and him reading a text about the relationship between God and his chosen people? Interesting.

Anyway, “What would Mr. Rogers do?” is a motto we should all live by.

[twinsimskeletons]

Bett Goldfinch for @futurecarrie‘s DRSE2

This dude has a chronic problem of never taking anything seriously. It's not even that he hides behind a confident exterior, he literally doesn't get bothered by anything. His goals in life are to play football, look good, and get the ladies. Everything else is water off a duck's back. 

He plays the social game and he plays it well. He's pretty perceptive which helps with this, knowing what makes people tick, and what to say to get himself off the hook. He's rich with a heavy inheritance, doesn't want to work a day in his life, and coasts on by using the gift of the gab. He could easily be called the ultimate douchebag, and that would be just as fitting, but no; he's the ultimate jock.

(Also, he's one of those "only real men can wear pink" guys but sort of ironically does it. Would probably also wear sandals with socks but I couldn't make myself do that. He just likes getting a rise out of people, getting under their skin).

Traits: Perceptive, Athletic, Mean Spirited, Irresistible, Charismatic

Questions under the cut:

1.)    What is the most important thing to them? (meaning a person or thing specifically i.e. friends/family) 

For all his confidence and inability to care seriously about almost anything, the only two important things to him would be his old man (who is his coach and inspiration, and someone Bett wants to always make proud, but is super pressuring and encourages anything that makes Bett the ultimate jock, i.e. being an arse) and his ability to play sport, particularly american football.

2.)    Do they have any deep, dark secrets? What are they? Is their biggest secret the fact they killed someone, or is it more like they wet the bed until they were 8? 

Bett genuinely hates his little sister. She’s thirteen and a brat, and he has purposefully left her in tricky situations like abandoning her when shopping, giving her bad directions, making her run dangerous errands. He hides this from his father, who would be disappointed because family is important in america or some shit like that.

3.)    If something bad happened (i.e. their mum was killed), are they more likely to cry or get angry?

Bett would get mad. Not red-mist angry, but cunning, deadly mad. it would be like he was on the field. His vision would narrow to his target for revenge.

4.)    What’s one of their favourite generic items (meaning something that isn’t special to them in any way, but if someone gave it them they’d be very happy)?

Anything sports related (but none of those ‘fake’ sports like golf, darts, snooker, anything that doesn’t require a tonne of physical training. He also thinks tennis is crap). Anything relating to social status too, like a gift that showed he was someone’s favourite, or a crush.

5.)    What is one of their least favourite generic items (again meaning something that isn’t special/unique to them (like a chocolate bar or something))?

A fake trophy or award that he hasn’t earned. He has a massive ego and needs his achievements rewarded, but fake rewards are not tolerated. Also anything he needs to spend effort making, doing, or looking after. Don’t give him a fucking tamagotchi or he’ll hammer it to pieces. 

6.)    What’s their relationship like with their parents?

His mother has always been distant with him and dotes on the sister (Alexa), perhaps a reason he hates her as he always has to be best, but he doesn’t really give a fuck about his mother (though he wouldn’t be disrespectful of her). His old man is everything. 

7.)    Do they have any fans (if their talent permits them to have fans)? Do they like said fans?

He would definitely have fans for being Awesome at Sport. and yes, he loves his fans because they feed his ego. Also they sleep with him sometimes, so, you know.

8.)    Do they have any siblings? How do they feel about said siblings?

Covered.

9.)    What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Awesome. Sexy. Legend.

10.)  What three words would others use to describe them?

bit-of-an-arse (he covers his arsehole ways quite well, esp. because he is pretty charming to make up for it), attractive, frustrating.

11.) Any fears?

Somehow losing the ability to play sport - an injury for example - and fading into obscurity. 

12.) If they were offered 1,000,000 of their currency to do something immoral, would they do it?

Mmm it would depend. Killing someone, no, because Bett doesn’t value money that highly. He’s in it for the fame and stardom, not the cash, though it is a convenient plus. 

13.)  What’s their stance on religion?

Sport is his religion, but he’s Christian by birth and his dad is Very Religious so he would pray before every game and say grace and go through the motions without it really having any say in his morals. He wouldn’t say God’s name in vain because his dad would come down with the fury of a thousand suns, so tends to say “oh my G,” instead, or ‘Christo’

14.) What’s their stance on the supernatural?

Bett doesn’t believe in it, but if he saw it with his own two eyes he’d accept it because his senses don’t lie (he’s a simple man). He wouldn’t believe anyone else until he did see it, though.

15.)  If they had one day left to live, what would they do?

Play a game, enjoy the rest of the day with his adoring fans.

16.)  What makes the earth turn according to them: Money or love (or is it because when the earth was a gas cloud it started to spin and hasn’t quite grown out of that phase yet) ?

Why does that matter? Bett doesn’t question these things. It turns because it turns. Maybe because God made it turn.

17.)  Knowledge, power or relationships: what’s the most important?

Power. Power in fame, in particular, or brute strength.

18.)  Do they like animals? What’s their favourite?

Bett doesn’t mind animals if they’re not in his way, being a nuisance or needs to be cared for. He thinks raccoons are funny because they annoy his neighbours.

19.)  Any weird talents (besides their ultimate/shsl) that they’re secretly proud of (like rapping for example)?

He’s pretty good at The Sex. He can dance the typical white boy dances, like the worm. He can do a ridiculous number of press ups and run for miles.

20.)  Tell me a random story about them!

Once upon a time Bett’s little sister was screaming and crying and generally sending him up the wall, so he covered her mouth to stop her without realising he actually covered her nose too. She almost died before his mother came in and realised what was happening (to be fair, he was also young-ish and didn’t understand what he was doing). It was then that he realised a) he was less caring than other people and b) he had to hide that under a layer of charm or he’d get into big trouble and be a social outcast.

21.) Do they have any illnesses or disabilities?

Bett looks down on weakness. But he has mild dyslexia. he just doesn’t consider that a problem since he shouldn’t need to read or write or do maths. People can do it for him.

22.)  Left handed or right handed?

Left handed for almost everything, but he uses scissors and writes with his right hand because that’s how he was taught by his teachers and father (because left handedness is a sign of the devil or whatever).

23.)  How would they react to being locked up in a school with no foreseeable time of leaving?

Can he play sport? No? Then man, he is pissed off. He wants out so he can be reunited with his fame. But, similarly, he’d also figure that said fame would get him freed at some point so he might as well enjoy it, if the surrounding area is luxurious, as he deserves.

24.) Will they miss their old high school? Why?

Nah. Bett doesn’t miss people or things. Waste of energy.

25.) Do they like the outdoors? If so, what’s their favourite outdoor activity and any memories linked to that?

Bett likes the outdoors because it lets him play sport, but he doesn’t care for it other than that. His favourite activity would be american football, his best memory being when he was still a rising star and helped his team reach a very coveted title or w/e the Big Thing would be for american football lmao. Do they get man of the matches? If so, he would have remembered getting that.

26.) How important is their talent to them? Does it not mean much or would they die for it?

Bett would die for it, yeah. Sports and the subsequent fame is the most important thing to him, the only thing that makes life worth living.

[romancatholicreflections]

13th August >> Daily Reflection on Today's Mass Readings (1 Kings 19:9.11-13; Romans 9:1-5; Matthew 14:22-33) for Roman Catholics on Sunday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Commentary on 1 Kings 19:9.11-13; Romans 9:1-5; Matthew 14:22-33 WE HAVE TODAY in the Gospel a continuation of last week’s story about the feeding of thousands of people by Jesus in the desert. Immediately after the event, we are told that Jesus “made” the disciples get into the boat and go to the opposite shore while he himself sent the crowds away. Was there reluctance on their part to go? Certainly there is the implication that the disciples were not too willing to leave the scene. They were enjoying the reflected glory of being part of Jesus’ ‘miracle’ and the enthusiasm of the crowds for Jesus, ‘their’ Jesus. They were basking in the reputation of being partners with Jesus. Yet, it won’t be very long before they will be hiding, even denying under oath, ever having had connection with him. Jesus himself, after having dismissed the crowds, “went up into the hills by himself to pray”. In John’s version of this story he tells us that the people, after being fed by Jesus, actually wanted to make him their king. They, like the disciples, have totally missed the meaning of what has happened. Here indeed was a real source of temptation. Jesus could easily have convinced himself that here was a golden opportunity to get control of the crowds and ‘save’ them. They were so ready to follow him – it seemed. The world was at his feet. Is there not an echo here of one of the temptations in the desert after his baptism? “The devil took him to a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them: and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me’.” Instead, Jesus flees to the shelter of the mountains not to have a panorama of the world’s kingdoms but to pray to his Father and renew his purity of heart and his commitment to the Father’s way. His power will be exerted through love and service and not through domination, control and popular appeal. Jesus’ work is not to be seen in terms of crowd-pleasing miracles or supernatural powers. It is primarily for him – as it is for us — in the quality of his relationships: with God, with people and with himself. Jesus’ mission – and ours — gets its significance in a life of service, sharing and community building, in the ‘Kingdom-ising’ of our environment. It does not consist in having power over others, in becoming an idol of the crowds. Having a hard time The story now switches back to the disciples. They are far out on the lake by now, battling with a heavy sea and fighting a strong headwind. It is quite clear that here we are seeing a parable of the Church itself, represented by the disciples in their fragile boat surrounded by hostile winds and waves. It was the common experience of the Church during its first centuries and, in many parts of the world today, continues to be the case. It was a situation to create, then as now, much fear and anxiety. Then, all of a sudden, they see Jesus approaching them walking on the lake. Far from feeling reassured, they become even more terrified. “It is a ghost!” It is a measure of their superstitious natures and, as such, a measure of the long way they have to go in exorcising such superstitions and replacing them with a genuine faith in God. One still meets a great deal of such irrational fears in people, including Christians, today. For instance, how many of us here would be comfortable walking alone through a large empty cemetery on a dark, moonless night? Even though it would probably be a lot safer than walking down one of our city streets at such a time! No need to fear Then out of wind and wave and terror comes a comforting voice. “Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.” The disciples need courage whose source is their confidence and trust in the protection of their Lord. Through the words “It is I” (literally, ‘I am’ Greek, ego eimi,‘ego ‘eimi), Jesus identifies himself with the saving power of God himself. They are the words spoken to Moses from the burning bush. As such, there is no need for fear or anxiety in spite of the apparently threatening dangers around them. Characteristically, Peter is the first to respond. He is the impulsive one but he is also the group’s leader. “If it is really you, Lord, tell me to come to you across the water.” “Come,” says Jesus, inviting him to leave the shelter of his boat and go to where the wind and waves are. Peter starts to make his way to the Lord, who is in the wind and the waves, but his fear is too much and he begins to sink. “Lord, save me!” is the cry, a cry echoed by Christians all down the ages who have felt that the world was ready to crush them. There is something for us to reflect here: Jesus is not in the boat; he is in that hostile environment into which we often fear to enter and instead huddle in the security of our church. I think it is significant that Jesus is found outside the boat in the middle of the stormy sea, the world. And we have to go out there to meet him in spite of the dangers and possible setbacks. Too often we Christians spend much, if not all, of our time in the shelter of the boat, taking care of ourselves and neglecting those in the stormy sea who need to hear the words of life. “Man of little trust, why did you doubt?” How often has Jesus had to say those words to each one of us? Peace Jesus and Peter now step into the boat and the wind drops. There is peace and calm. In Mark’s version of this story, the disciples are simply amazed at the sudden change but do not draw the obvious conclusion. In Matthew’s version, however, they understand and believe. They even anticipate Peter’s later confession (in chap. 16), “Truly, you are the Son of God”. The conclusion, then, is that Jesus can also be found in the boat but only when we also are ready to leave the shelter of the boat to find him in the “world”, that place which is at least indifferent and at its worst very hostile to the Christian vision. Our own situation All in all, today’s Gospel reflects problems in the early Church, problems which are not unknown to us today. From the inside there were always problems of unity, conflicting opinions, theologies and spiritualities. From the outside, there were persecutions and misunderstandings from both the Jews and the secular powers. Paul, in the Second Reading, reflects what must have been something very painful to many Jews who had become followers of Christ, namely, the division and hostility of their fellow-Jews who had not converted. Even today, this relationship still causes pain. Matthew also here features the special role of Peter, something he constantly stresses. Peter is the leader and so he is the one who steps out of the boat to go and meet Jesus in the midst of the storm. This surely is an image of the Church’s apostolic mission to reach out to find and make Christ present in the world, however hostile it may be. It is not the role of the Church to stay cowering in the shelter of their boat. One remembers the disciples after the death of Jesus hiding behind the locked doors. Pentecost soon changed all that and literally blew them out on a mission that would bring them and their successors to the remotest parts of the earth. Of course, there are dangers in the world. And the Church, like Peter, is weak and vulnerable. But the Lord is there wherever we go and he will not allow his Church to sink beneath the waves. It has looked very often as if it might happen but each time the Christian community has risen from the ashes stronger than before. One has only to think of the experiences of Christians in China over the past four centuries and especially in the last 40 years or so. Jesus our peace One important lesson of today’s readings is that, in our turbulent world (and much of the turbulence is in our own hearts), Jesus is the source of peace. Jesus told his disciples at the Last Supper (John 14:27), “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” These words were spoken just before Jesus was to be arrested, tried and executed by his enemies. The “world” cannot provide peace in such a situation but Jesus can and does. It is for us to learn how to find the Jesus who gives peace in the ups and downs, in the storms of our own lives. It is put beautifully in today’s First Reading where Elijah is told to “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord”. And the Lord himself passes by. But he was not in the mountain-shaking and rock-shattering wind. He was not in the earthquake. He was not in the fire. He was, however, in the sound of a gentle breeze and Elijah knew that he was in the presence of the Lord. Jesus touches our cheeks with his gentle breezes every day but we are too concerned about the buffeting winds, the earthquakes and the fires in our lives that attract both our attention and our fears. Today’s readings, then, are saying two things to us: a. There is never any need for fear and anxiety, for Jesus is always close to us and, no matter what may be happening in and around us, his peace is there for us to share. (As the Buddhist saying has it: “Why worry? If I worry, I die. If I don’t worry, I die. Why worry?”) b. On the one hand, we have to reject the ambitions and dreams of the world and separate ourselves from them (as when Jesus went into the mountains to pray) but, at the same time, that world which both attracts and threatens is the arena where we are to live out our mission to build the Kingdom of God. We are called to be “not of the world”, a counter-witness to its ways, but to be “in the world”, as taste-giving salt and growth-giving leaven. To lead people to that moment when they can fall to the ground before Jesus present and active in their lives and say with full recognition, “Truly, you are the Son of God”.

[iamastrongchristian-blog]

Twelve Different Kinds of Voices

There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.

1 Corinthians 14:10

One of the greatest desires of all serious Christians is to know the will of God. With a little experience in life, anyone can tell that there are many different ways your life can go. We often come to the crossroads and ask, “Which way is best?” If you take the wrong road, the implications may be devastating. If you marry the wrong person, the consequences may be terrible. If you join the wrong church, the consequences may be eternal.

Many times when we take decisions, we are unable to retrace our steps. In other words, many decisions are irreversible. Because of this, we need to know the will of God so that we can be guided along every step of the way.

Even Unbelievers Want to Know the Future

Unbelievers have ways of getting to know what is best for them. Many of them consult soothsayers, astrologers and fortune tellers. They put their trust in false prophets and occult power. They also see the need to know what to do next. African politicians are often said to consult these powers on a regular basis. They often ask for direction and protection from them. African soccer teams are also said to consult these mediums. You will notice however, that none of these things have taken them very far.

As Christians, we do not need to consult satanic powers to know the future. God has graciously given us the Holy Spirit to guide us. Being led by the Spirit of God is a sign that you are a true Christian.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

Romans 8:14

In the Old Testament, only the prophet seemed to know the will of God. You see, the Holy Spirit was not given to everyone at that time. We are living in a blessed dispensation. We all have the Holy Spirit in us and can be led by the Spirit of God. It is possible for us to know the will of God. That is what this book is all about: “How to know the will of God” and “How to be led by the Spirit of God.”

Twelve Different Kinds of Voices

The first step to knowing the will of God is to recognize that there are many types of voices in this world and all of them are trying to influence you. The art of selecting the right voice and listening to that voice is the art of being led by the Spirit of God.

God wants to deliver you from evil and He has sent His Spirit to lead you through this life so that you will not make tragic mistakes. Satan, who is God’s opponent and an opposition party, is trying to lead you in the wrong way or at least confuse you. What are the voices that are trying to influence you? There are several possibilities that you must be aware of:

1. The voice of God

2. The voice of the flesh

3. The voice of the mind

4. The voice of the devil

5. The voice of a prophet

6. The voice of the Bible

7. The voice of your friends

8. The voice of your parents

9. The voice of your spirit

10. The voice of your spouse

11. The voice of circumstances

12. The voice of your own will

All these voices, as well as some others, are probably in operation in your life. Depending on who you are, you may be influenced more or less by these voices. A young man may claim that the voice of God spoke to him, directing him to marry a beautiful young lady in the church. He may approach the young woman and tell her, “God spoke to me last night.” Is this young man telling the truth? Did he really hear the voice of God?

Let me make an important point here. There are at least twelve different voices that this young man could have heard. He could have heard the voice of circumstances leading him to marry this young lady or he could have heard the voice of his flesh, desirous of the opposite sex. He could also have genuinely heard the voice of God. None of these voices is without significance. What is important is to know which voice is leading you.

The Thirsty Donkey

I always remember the story of a thirsty donkey that went on a long journey through the desert. At the end of his tedious journey, the donkey was tired, hungry and thirsty. As it trudged along, it noticed two stacks of hay at different ends of the field. The donkey thought to himself, “There is food for me!” Then he realized that the two different haystacks were at opposite ends of an extremely large field.

The donkey, being a “Christian”, decided to seek the will of God concerning which of the haystacks he should approach. The donkey decided to pray. As the donkey was bowing his head to pray, he noticed a bucket of water positioned by the haystack on the right. The donkey then prayed a simple but powerful prayer and said, “O God, I want to know your will concerning which direction to go. Should I go to the haystack on the right or to the one on the left?”

After praying, the donkey gathered himself together and began to walk towards one of the haystacks. Which of the stacks of hay do you think the donkey went to? The stack on the right or that on the left? Well, when the donkey was asked he said, “God has directed me to the one on the right.”

Everyone can predict that the donkey would say that God had directed him to the haystack on the right. However, you and I both know that it was probably the bucket of water that attracted the donkey to the haystack on the right. It is time to be honest! It is time to tell the truth! Is it really the Spirit of God who is leading us or is it the voice of our flesh and of circumstances?

Anytime someone claims to have been directed by the “Spirit of God”, you should remember that there are over twelve different possibilities that exist. The voice he claims to be hearing is one out of twelve or more different voices. Is it the voice of his friends? Is it the voice of his wife? Is it the voice of circumstances? What is actually leading this person?

Three in One Day!

I learnt of a man who became close to three Christian sisters at the same time. This man happened to be in Bible school at the same time with these three ladies who were his age. They attended classes together, they prayed together and they even went to church together. As time passed, they became a very closely knit family. There was a real flow of Christian love and friendship among them. This Christian brother was a very caring young man. He was also handsome and was obviously a promising minister. He was good at the ministry of counselling and seemed to be a patient listener to people’s problems.

At the end of the course, something interesting happened! It was graduation time and each of the three Christian sisters approached this compassionate brother with a “message” from the Lord. Each one of them said (unknown to the others), “God has spoken to me about you that we should spend the rest of our lives and ministries together.” In other words, God had supposedly spoken to each of these women to marry the brother. The brother was so surprised. He told them, “I appreciate your sharing this with me, but God hasn’t spoken to me about this.”

He did not marry any of these three girls. He ended up marrying somebody else.

I find this true story very interesting. It illustrates the point I am trying to make. Each of these three ladies claimed to have heard the voice of God. But as I said, there are several possibilities to each claim. How could God tell three different people, at the same time, to marry one man? Does His Word not tell us that God wants one man to marry only one woman?

They were obviously hearing the voice of their own flesh. It could be the voice of their minds. They claimed that the voice of their flesh was the voice of God. These three ladies embarrassed themselves. You can save yourself from embarrassment when you learn to distinguish between the voice of the Spirit and other voices. That is what this book is all about – how to know the voice of God and how to follow the Holy Spirit to the top! In the following chapters, I will share some things about these different voices and how you can distinguish between them.

Four Things Every Christian Should Know about the Voice of the Mind

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole SPIRIT and SOUL and BODY be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:23

Man consists of a spirit, a soul and a body. That is quite clear from the verse above. Each of these components of the human being has a voice.

Your thought processes and your reasoning are the voice of your mind. God never intended for us to do away with our minds. Many people stop reasoning and thinking when they become Christians. There is a funny notion that it is wrong to reason or understand things once you are in the kingdom of God. There is a feeling that if you are a spiritual person it is not right to reason things out. This has led to many disasters in this life.

The Voice of the Mind

1. The mind is a great asset for every Christian and every minister.

I believe that the mind is one of the most wonderful gifts that God has given to every man. The mind is one of the most complex computers in the world today. It is a gift that you are expected to use. Even when you are born-again, you are expected to use your mind. When you are a spiritual leader, you are expected to use your mind!

When you want to decide whether to marry someone or not, you must first use your mind. You must ask yourself, “What is the background of this person? How old is he or she? What is the educational background of the person? What is the family background of the person? What language does he or she speak?”

The Difference between Men and Animals

When I have to take decisions in the ministry, I do not just pray about them. I think about them! I analyse things! God gave me a mind and I intend to use it on a daily basis. What is the difference between a human being and an animal? The human being has a more developed brain. This gives him a mind with a great thinking capability. It is the use of the mind, which has made human beings rule and dominate all animals.

We human beings have control over animals that are wild and dangerous. We control poisonous and deadly reptiles by the use of a superior mind. We capture animals like elephants and whales that are a hundred times the size of a man. We keep them in cages and observe them at our pleasure. What gives us this power? It is the use of a superior mind.

The Difference between Men and Men

Even amongst human beings, those that have encouraged the use of the mind have ended up ruling those that have not used their minds much. The educated (developed minds) are ruling the uneducated. Go into almost every institution and you will find that the educated are higher placed than the uneducated. They have higher salaries and are better looked after.

In a very sophisticated world, the inventors of cars and airplanes are dominating millions of people who have not used their minds to create such things. The inventors and manufacturers of televisions, videos and telephones have more money than those who just buy and use them. Through the world’s complex financial system, many people who are officially free from slavery are still experiencing a sophisticated form of financial and mental slavery!

Those who know how to convert cocoa beans into chocolate and other niceties have more “say so” than those who just know how to harvest cocoa on a farm. It takes more use of the mind to develop machines and complicated equipment that are used to convert raw materials into final products. Simply speaking, the world is divided into two: those who have used their God-given gift of a super mind and those who have not!

2. Do not send your mind on vacation because you have become a spiritual person.

Do a survey of some churches. Those who have emphasized on spiritual and emotional things, to the absolute exclusion of rational thinking, have ended up on the rocks. God does not expect you to exclude your mind because you are a spiritual person. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I spend numerous hours a week in prayer. I believe that the Bible is my final authority on all matters of doctrine. This however, has not made me to stop reasoning and rationalizing things. When you stop using your mind, even in the spiritual world, you lower yourself from the rank that God intends for you.

How to Cross a Road

Someone wanted to know the will of God about marriage. I said to him, “Do you know the Kaneshie-Mallam Highway (a very wide and dangerous highway in the city of Accra in my country, Ghana)?”

He said, “Yes, I do.”

I asked him, “If you wanted to cross that road what would you do?”

He began to answer but I stopped him.

I said to him, “I know what you would do! You would close your eyes and ask the Lord to speak to you and tell you the exact moment to cross.”

He smiled.

I continued, “Wouldn’t you do that?”

“I don’t think so,” he responded.

I went on, “If you were to do something like that you are likely to be killed immediately. The highest form of manifested stupidity is to shut off your mind when you are taking important decisions.”

I said to him, “God is not the author of foolishness. He does not expect you to close your eyes and listen to the voice of the Spirit telling you when to cross. He gave you eyes to see and a mind with which to make sound judgments. It is like having money in your pocket that God has given you to solve your problems. Yet, you cry to Him and ask Him for money. Meanwhile, you have some money in your pocket.

What is God saying to you? God is saying that it is time to think again. It is time to be educated. It is time to reason. If you are a pastor, do not take all the decisions on your own. When it comes to finances, think and use the minds of trained accountants. When it comes to legal matters, believe and accept the minds of trained lawyers. When it comes to church growth, read and learn everything you can.

3. A combination of the voice of the Spirit and the voice of the mind will lead to your promotion in life and ministry.

The Holy Spirit is not the author of foolishness and absurdities. Please stop claiming that the Spirit is telling you things when that is not the case! There are many things that I do not pray about; I simply think about them. The Bible says that Christ is to us not only power but also wisdom.

…Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.

1 Corinthians 1:24

Jesus Christ in our lives makes us wise and not foolish. If you want to be promoted in this life, get wisdom. Wisdom has to do with the mind. The Bible says that wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, with all your getting, get wisdom.

Exalt her [wisdom], and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her.

Proverbs 4:8

Your promotion and honour are on the way when you start applying yourself to God’s wisdom. Never forget that it was wisdom that brought Joseph out of jail and into the king’s palace. Wisdom brought Daniel into the rank of prime minister and vice-president in three successive governments. It was wisdom and the use of his mind that made Solomon the richest man on earth. Wisdom is the intelligent use of your thinking capabilities. Wisdom is the ability to take right decisions based on the information available to you. Wisdom is the ability not to ignore realities when they are before you.

4. Too much reasoning can turn you into a fool.

There is, however, one danger with the voice of the mind – the danger of reasoning until you become foolish again. Knowledge and thinking without God will make you into a fool.

The expositors of the evolution theory reasoned their way through a maze of obvious scientific realities involving the evolution of created beings. They saw some things and propounded some theories. However, when they got to a point where they had to question themselves about the origin of all created beings, they began to guess and made fools out of themselves. It is the mother of all absurdities for someone to say that this intricate, fantastic and perfect creation of God came about through an explosion (The Big Bang Theory).

In the medical school, I dissected the body of a dead human being for one and a half years. I discovered for myself how extraordinary and awesome God’s creation is.

This is why the Bible says it is only a fool who says that there is no God. No one can tell me that an explosion that occurred in Germany created a Mercedes-Benz car. That is foolishness!

Even though you must develop your mind, God’s Word and His Spirit are superior to every reasoning of man. You must allow the wisdom of God to supersede the wisdom of man.

Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?

1 Corinthians 1:20

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

1 Corinthians 1:25

There are times when God will direct you and it will not look wise in the natural. When I left my noble medical profession for the Ministry, many people thought I had gone mad. My parents were distressed and my relatives were worried. They could not see the sense in what I was doing. They asked, “Why should someone leave such a promising career for an apparently fruitless and uncertain adventure?” But I knew that God had called me and at such times natural reasoning had to give way to the voice of God.

The problem with this is that many Christians are simply not using their minds at all. They continue claiming that every quixotic adventure they embark on is directed by the supernatural voice of God.

It is time to let the voice of your mind have its proper place.

by Dag Heward-Mills