#to me this is proof that dean saving cas from the empty is a top contender for reboot plot lines

[hitmeupaep]

i’m so not normal

[billiewena]

since I never made a post for these, here are all of MY ideal endings for sam (and how I would do them) that I spite-wrote after a coworker told me about how perfect his finale was <3

HUNTER NETWORK ENDING: Sam establishes an official network for the American hunters, leading a new generation of hunters as the antithesis of John Winchester. One of the final shots is a montage of all the hunters working and saving people all across the country, proving the Winchesters are no longer alone in the world.

SAMWITCH ENDING: Sam becomes a full-fledged witch thanks to all the magic supplies he inherited from Rowena and blends hunting/witch shenanigans. He can still be powerful but now he gets to choose where that power comes from. Okay this is basically Goldenrod Revisions, leave me alone.

SEPARATE WAYS ENDING: Sam and Dean both alive but living / hunting apart, going their separate ways like a parent and child who is finally leaving the nest. Sam gets the independence he always wanted while also getting to keep his brother in his life, because this is the ultimate proof that Dean trusts him. For the first time, they can move on without the reason being the other is dead. They no longer doubt they will always be there for each other even if they’re not living under the same roof anymore. The episode ends with Sam breaking into Dean’s [insert post-finale residence of choice here] in a callback to the pilot, saying he was in the area for a hunt. The last lines are Sam asking if he wanted to reunite for the hunt for old’s time sake and Dean saying “looks we got work to do.”

PODCASTER ENDING: Sam starts a podcast about the supernatural discussing urban American legends, myths, and mysteries that also helps viewers know what to look for and maybe even teaches them to defend themselves. Some take it as fiction, some use what he tells them to save their lives. It hits the top of the paranormal/mystery charts. The Ghostfacers, whose attempt to get into podcasting failed, ARE livid.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END: Sam and Dean both die in a blaze of glory, sacrificing themselves to defeat Chuck and bring back the rest of the world. They both get a moment to say an emotional goodbye to Jack and to each other. The two get a massive hunter’s funeral where all the past hunters come to mourn them and talk about their impact. Jody’s speech probably makes us cry. They get to Heaven at the same time, where they are greeted by all their past friends and family at the Roadhouse. On Earth, they live on forever as urban legends and heroes.

SAM & ROWENA ENDING: Sam says #FuckHeaven and spends his afterlife in hell as the consort to Queen Rowena, drinking margaritas all day, living his best life and stopping any demon uprisings in their tracks. Anytime they give him a hard time, he reminds them that he was Azazel’s boyking and they’re just Random Demon #489. What are THEY doing with their life.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #1 - MARRIED HUNTER LIFE EDITION: Sam and Dean both survive and continue to hunt / live together, except now Eileen and Castiel are around and live in the bunker with them too after Cas was saved in [insert Empty rescue scenario of your choice.] Sam has some deja vu to the vision he had of all four of them living together in 15x09. He realizes that this is actually real and not a vision; that they are actually together, at peace and beat Chuck. The episode ends with them going to have the movie night that they never got to have in the vision. As Eileen takes his hand to go to the movie room, you see two engagement rings on their hands. Sam realizes that his journey may have started with losing Jessica but he found love again, and that while once upon a time all he and Eileen wanted was revenge, they’ve finally both found peace.

SAFE HOUSE ENDING: Sam starts a trauma center/safe house situation for hunters and ex-monsters to recover and heal, dedicating his life to proving that no one is beyond saving and everyone can redeem themselves and defy fate like he had. Mia Vallens, the shapeshifting grief counselor, is on payroll.

SAM IS THE AUTHOR NOW ENDING: Sam narrates the finale the same way Chuck did for the original series finale "Swan Song", further proving that they are now in control in their story. We get Sam's POV as he tells us what happened to all the other hunters and side characters, as well as him and his brother, with flashbacks from all fifteen seasons and young Sam & Dean growing up together. The episode ends with the reveal that Sam actually finishing the journal entries for the Winchester family's edition of the Men of Letters Bestiary, putting the finishing touches on some monster entries and his own personal anecodotes. He treats the Bestiary like a journal, in a callback to After-School Special where Sam almost became a writer and wrote about his and his family's hunting stories.

BABY JACK ENDING: Sam raises Baby!Jack after he is de-aged and “falls” to Earth in the same fashion the angel Anna once did. Baby!Jack wears overalls that don’t say his name in giant letters because Sam is a good parent who would never do that to his child. The two have a happy life as an adopted father/son duo who defied everything Lucifer and Heaven wanted them to be.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #2 - EUROTRIP EDITION: Sam going on a year-long vacation around the world now that he has a cool Irish girlfriend who is not afraid of planes, leading to a fun exploration of the supernatural in foreign countries. Who is Dean.

DOG SHELTER OWNER: Sam owns a dog shelter and gets to walk at least ten dogs a day. Jack helps out and Miracle is the HBIC. Life is good.

CHUCK WINS ENDING: Sam lives and Dean dies, Sam throws a funeral for him that no one attends but him and a dog, and moves to the suburbs to live a generic white picket fence life with an unidentifiable wife. As a montage of Sam’s life plays, the camera pans away what looks like a computer and Chuck’s old office. A string of quotes can be heard in the background (“we’re just hamsters running around in a cage” “what would you rather have: peace or freedom?” “I can do anything...I’m a writer” “We will never give you the ending that you want / We’ll see”). The final shot is Jack, dressed in Chuck’s clothes and glasses and using his mannerisms, typing away at a typewriter. He writes “The End” but punctuates it with a question mark instead of a period. His computer screen and our TV screen both go black.

[shirtlesssammy]

7x07: The Mentalists

Then:

Dean’s drinking professionally this season

Now:

At a seance, a couple inquire about their Uncle Danny. The woman is interested in knowing if he’s happy and with the family dog. 

The man wants to know where some important papers are located. The psychic seems in control at first, but when the lights flicker and the flames in the fireplace grow, she looks surprised. The planchette moves ALL on its own and the air gets frosty. Then the planchette impales itself in the psychic’s neck. 

Dean’s all alone and driving a crappy, stolen car after his bust up with his brother and the Leviathan’s making the Impala a wanted vehicle. He learns of deaths in Lily Dale, the most psychic town in America, and hits the road. 

At the crime scene, he finds all the tricks the psychic employed, and then heads to Good Graces Cafe.

It’s not his type of place, but he hears his brother’s voice. Sam’s in town too to investigate. Dean jumps right into his everything’s good and let’s work the case spiel, but Sam is not happy. 

Dean gives up the facade and tells Sam they might as well work together to get the case over with. A woman walks in and recognizes them. They convince her that they’re not the Winchesters, and then her dining partner comes up and recognizes them as FBI. They both express their shock at the deaths. The man introduces himself as a spoon bender. 

The brothers start looking at the victims. Dean notes that they both had the same necklace, possibly a cursed object. 

They head to interview Melanie, the granddaughter to one of the victims. They ask about the necklace, and she tells them all her things went to the emporium. They ask to see the necklace. 

And then they take it under the FBI pretense. The shop owner says it’s the Orb of Thesulah. Dean wonders what that is. Sam points out that it’s a fake --and a town of fakes. Shocking. 

That night, the man from the cafe pulls out his utensils to practice his craft. Suddenly they all stand on end and he gets whisked above them, only to fall to his death. 

The brothers check out the crime scene and learn the man had a vision of his own death. Dean then gets a call from Melanie, and they head to her house to talk. She tells them that her grandmother left her a voicemail message of her own coming death. When she mentions that the air got cold, the brothers tell her they’re dealing with a ghost. 

She does not believe them. 

They tell her their story. She needs a drink (and so does Dean.) 

Sam and Dean realize how difficult their situation is --fake and probably real psychics, ghosts, and a whole lot of confusion. They split up to canvas the town. 

Camille Thibodeaux, a friend of Melanie's, has a death vision. She calls Melanie, and her friend brings Dean. 

Camille tells him about her death vision. Dean cannily surveys the room and spots a security camera. Cut to later, where they watch her get attacked by an actual G-G-G-GHOST on the camera footage. Melanie remembers seeing a picture of the ghost in the museum. 

At the museum, the tour guide spins a little backstory towards us. Hooking into the “brothers rift” theme of Season 7, we hear about sibling fights in the psychic gallery PLUS one success story of two brothers who got along famously. “Of course, that was just a stage name. They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, um... alternative lifestyle.” Cut to a closeup of Dean.

They spot the Fox sisters’ portrait. One of the sisters (the ghost) was known for her death prophecies and telekinesis. The older sister, the museum guide reports, “didn't have her sister's charisma, but she looked after Kate. Sometimes, one's true gift is taking care of others.” Sometimes I watch these thesis statements on Dean and shriek at such a high pitch that I break every pane of glass in the gas station. Sam heads off to dig up some Fox sister skeletons, but the tour guide grabs Dean. “Do you know an Eleanor or an Ellen?”

“She seems quite concerned about you. She wants to tell you – pardon me – if you don't tell someone how bad it really is, she'll kick your ass from beyond. You have to trust someone again eventually.” ANYWAY. The tour guide fucks off and leaves both Dean AND myself shattered into a million pieces. 

Dean storms out moments later and demands that Sam treat him with a modicum of courtesy. Sam entrenches in his anger. When Dean defends his choice to kill Amy, he then also dredges up Sam’s best pal, Hallucifer as reason number one to coddle Sam.

Later at the cemetery, Dean stands watch while Sam digs up a grave. They wonder why the ghost is warning all the psychics before killing them. The ghost zooms up just as they’re about to salt and burn the body. She seems relatively stable for a murderous ghost and pleads with them to listen to her. WHY won’t anybody listen to her? GIRLFRIEND, I feel you.

Sam and Dean torch her and she flames out dramatically. Camille and Melanie celebrate the good news: the ghost is, uh, dead. Re-dead-ified? Back at Camille’s place, they pack a quick bag. The death omens start to spiral around poor Camille. The older Fox sister arrives as a desperate Melanie calls the Winchesters for help. Melanie ineffectually tosses an empty salt container at the spirit before watching her friend get killed before her eyes. UUUUGH.

Later, a grieving Melanie shoos the Winchesters out of her home, telling them that Margaret (the ghost) enjoyed killing her friend. That morning, they dig up Margaret’s grave. “I feel naked doing this in daylight,” Dean observes. Oh, sunshine. From the shadowed forest, something lurks. Unfortunately, nothing lurks in the actual grave. Margaret’s coffin lies empty. Later, Dean notices a flyer for an upcoming psychic festival. All the headliners featured in the poster are now all dead. Dean runs this theory by Melanie, who realizes that she’s the next logical successor to the Lilydale psychic throne.

Sam heads back to the thrift shop to pursue new necromancer leads while Dean tries to ghost proof Melanie. He surrounds her in a great big salt circle. (SALT HULA HOOP, I whisper in Dean’s ear.)

Sam bursts into the suspected necromancer’s house only to find a lamaze class. He and Dean realize that the pawn shop owner is the necromancer, trying to feed them false leads. This is all very useful, but it doesn’t help Melanie. Margaret shows up at the house ready to REDRUM. 

Breaking into the pawn shop owner’s house, Sam finds a spooky altar complete with a skull. The necromancer levels a gun at Sam. 

The ghost appears, blowing out Melanie’s windows. RUDE! They fight while the necromancer monologues over them, telling Sam that he’s a real psychic. He just doesn’t get top billing because he’s not that pretty or charismatic. 

Sam grows weary of the villain-splaining and shoots the necromancer. He then heads into the dude’s bedroom where he finds Margaret’s bones...in his bed. Welp. Good night, everybody!

After Sam torches the bones and saves Melanie, Dean gets the full recap at the psychic diner. 

For Dean and Flowers Science:

Sam bows out of the conversation when Melanie arrives. Dean desperately tries to minimize his feats of heroism. She thanks him anyway and they both circle around the mutual-attraction-imcompatible-lifestyles hole. Honestly, I am so firmly entrenched in the Cas endgame but WHY don’t I read more of Dean/Melanie in fics? She’s a cutie! And then we can have Shipper!Melanie too.

Dean leaves the diner to find that Sam’s moved his duffel to Dean’s car. Sam tells Dean that he understands why he killed Amy now. He ALSO tries to get Dean to admit that he’s swirling around the black hole of drinky drinky despair. Dean tells Sam that he killed Amy out of instinct - he didn’t trust her. “Ever since Cas, I’ve had a hard time trusting anybody.” GUH. Dagger to the heart.

They trundle off into the next episode. (GUYS, this was written by THE Acker and Blacker duo! I had no idea!)

Look Into the Crystal Quotes:

See, there’s fake woo woo crap. And there’s real woo woo crap

This is gonna be looking like a needle in a stack of fake needles

If you affirmate me, I’m gonna punch you in the face

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[thekillingjoke-haha]

Prime Time,Bitch!

Tagged: @spnquotebingo the keep reading function is messing up for me

Sam said he was locked up tight in the dungeon. He was never locked in with her. She was locked in with him. The hunter becomes the hunted with no where to run.

Warning: Mature Language,Blood,Gore,Character Death?

-"Thoughts"- (they are red for those who can see)"Quotes" 'Reading'

"I'll be right back. This demon side is fighting to stay in control. I just need a few more pints of blood." Sam said as he slung a bag on his shoulder. "Yeah I got it get some food to!" Y/n said with a smile as she walked him to the impala. The roar of the engine rumbled as she waved him off going back inside what she didn't know was Dean knew that Sam just left and a chilling smile grew on his face.

Y/n popped popcorn as she sat in her room a horror movies playing as she got comfortable. A scream came from the movie drowning out the sound of the dungeon door opening up. The youngest Winchester laughed as a girl tripped over nothing her and Dean always make fun of them they had no real reason to hit the ground so they should get right up. This made her slightly sad. Was Sam going to fix Dean or was it already to late for him? Shaking off the thought the killer was about to crush the women's skull when the power cut out,but the red emergency lights didn't cut on yet which was weird. "God damnit." She grumbled getting up and grabbed a flashlight and went to the breaker to fix it walking right past the open door. Flipping the switch the normal lights don't turn on only the red ones and she turned around to get her phone to call Sam when she dropped her flashlight. Y/n gazed at the empty chair in the center of a devils trap she took off running to her room,but paused he knew she would run there for her phone and Dean or the demon he's become won't let her get help. She changed course to Sam's panic room to hide.

"Oh N/n where are you? I miss my little sister don't you miss me?" A metal sound of something dragging on the floor made her tense. Thinking of all possible things it could be of how she's going to die.–'It could be a bat,but we don't have any metal ones in the bunker. Maybe a sledgehammer,but that would have ment he when into the garage and the power going out would have locked everything.''– Her eyes widen as she released what it was he must have been carrying around she was sharpening it with the rest of the blades earlier that day."Have you figured it out yet? I know how you think when a horror movie is playing you see ever scenario before the movie can catch up. No wonder Sammy says you cheat at Clue!" Dean laughed as he seemed to wander to each room. The sound of wood splitting as he yelled "Here's Johnny!!!" It seemed so much worse that Dean was the evil this time a normal demon would know her so personally this seemed almost cruel him quoting films they watched together. "What to clichés? I admit the axe is old school."

The panic room the size of a cubbie it was so small,but just big enough I could calm down and think properly. Looking up another version of myself sat in front of me...my conscience. I could speak,but she could she's in my head after all. –"You can't run. There's nowhere to go doors locked down the moment the lights went."– I saw a illusion of myself running through the halls just to hit a corner and get a axe to the chest before it faded away. –"Can't go for your phone or your laptop he probably broke it the moment he noticed you weren't in your room."– I saw myself creep into my room just to see a shattered phone and my laptop with a cracked screen buffering to open instant messenger to text Sam. The laptop was slammed shut on my fingers causing some to break and get sliced by the glass looking up the sick grin of the Demon caught my eye before the axe ended that path. –"The burner. The one in your dresser Dean doesn't know about it so neither would the demon.Get it and get back here as quickly as possible. "– It was settled call for help. Listening for any foot steps I creep out of the hiding space a faint whistle going off down one of the many halls way from my room. Sneaking down the hallway staying low I get to my room where the door is torn to shreds as I open my drawer and fish out the phone. Going back down the hallway I get back to Sam's room and immediately call him.

"This call has been forwarded to a automatic voice message at the tone ples–" Hanging up I call again and again with no answer. At this point help was no longer a option. The whistling seemed to get closer and I rushed to the panic room until I paused. –"A enclosed space in a closet. There's not much space to move around if he finds you there your done for."– I back away slightly. –"Behind the door offers a easy place to hide and get out,but if he does the same to Sammy's door he did to yours it's not much of a hiding spot then."– A axe goes through the door creating a massive hole and Dean peaks inside and sees the white of you tank top in your (f/n) flannel. The door was whole again as I looked around the sound of metal getting louder running out of time. –"Under the bed allows you to see him without him seeing you,but like the panic cubbie not a lot of wiggle room if he hears you your done."– It was too late running to the metal door of the panic room she slams it shut not to loud to sound like she's trying to hide it,but just loud enough for the demon to register it. Sealing it shut I slip under the bed and wait for the time to get out and hopefully find a weapon.

Boots walked into the room turning to the closed closet. "Oh N/n!~ There's only so many places to hide in such a small room. Did you really think I wouldn't hear that heavy ass door close?" He chuckled darkly as he opened the closet and went to the small door. Dean tried turning the wheel to unsealed it,but it seemed to dawn on him that it could only be opened from the inside. With a huff anger he began pulling the brick of the wall started to bend outwards and crack. I was glad I wasn't in there. Going to slip out from under the bed while he's distracted the burner phone rang its annoying ringtone. Not even bothering to stop it I rush to get out faster,but a firm grip caught my ankle and dragged me out. Turning onto my back Dean stood their his apple green eyes staring at me. "Found you." He lifted up the axe having let go of my ankle lifting up my feet I put as much strength as possible into kicking his stomach. The demon was knocked back into the closest hitting the ground. Unfortunately axe still in hand. Stanfing up I ran leaving the phone behind. -"Sam took Baby so the trunk armory is out of the question. The garage has so pretty handy tools too bad that it was sealed along with the front and only entrance. Kitchen has knifes none that can hurt him,but just enough to slow him down. Library demon blade was in there last you checked,but Sam could have grabbed and put it on a high shelf."– Too many options and the kitchen was closer so that was the first stop grabbing a knife I held it tightly as a stalked slowly to the Library to see if there were any supernatural weapons.

The library was dark and the red lighting barely lit up the large room. "Would you like to play a game?" Dean mocked in a deep voice as he went around the bunker his voice echoing no real pinpointing where he is. I can't call Sam and prying to Cas hasn't worked meaning Dean made angel banishing symbols in most of the rooms. Y/n was getting desprit the bunkers massive size most of it was unexplored by them so being lost in a underground maze b wasn't the best option. "Are you scared yet Y/n? Well be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm what goes bump in the night sweetheart! Never thought the Winchester’s downfall will be by the hands of the oldest. What a twist!!! Right?" Dean yelled turning to the table I saw the supplies I cleaned with,but the weapons were gone and a note was left on in their place. 'Hey Y/n I put the weapons back into the trunk for tomorrow's hunt so you wouldn't have to...you're welcome and your blade was just sitting on the table so I put it up. ~Love Sam' I wanted to cry oh chuck nothing can save me in this buncker Bobby was sending us gallons of holy water next week because we were low...all rooms were demon proof,but he seemed to be a exception now,so no calling Crowley either.

Turning around the library doors open and I duck behind one of the many shelves. "Welcome to my nightmare!~" He said with a chuckle that bounced from every wall. Dean knocked down books and destroyed anything in his way while he looked around. Crawling on the ground I go to leave when the sound of something whooshing in the arm made me drop like a bag of rocks. The axe meet the shelf and I gazed at the red illuminated face of my brother eyes now black and demented. Laughter bubbled out of his chest as he mumbled. "Carful dear wouldn't want to lose you head." Yanking the axe free many books tumbled down. Taking the kitchen knife in hand I slash his calf and go for his thigh when the knife is flung out of my hands. "You little bitch!!!" He hissed now holding the knife and showing it into my stomach. A silent cry came from my lips bot to give him the satisfaction of my screams just yet. I look up at him and just past his head where I couldn't normally reach was the handle of my blade peeking over the shelf.

I begin to giggle and it turns into fits of laughter. Black eyes flicker back to confused green ones. "What's so funny?" I catch my breath as I lean up slightly. "You picked the wrong place to corner me. Wanna play?" Grabbing his knee and pulling it buckled under him causing Dean to hit the shelf letting the blade fall freely. Reaching out I catch it "Let’s play." Stabbing upward into his stomach the same place the knife was lodged in my own stomach. He howled in pain as I removed the blade and ran keeping pressure on the knife wound as I turned corners just to get away. -'He played with your head play with his. The intercomes...a good distraction can lead him away and let you get the jump.'- I hurry to the intercoms not before making a pit stop.

Demon!Dean POV

I growl at the wound on my body the little shit stabbed me. This makes killing her so much easier then she can be just like me. Grabbing the axe I stomp through the bunker. "What a excellent day for an exorcism." Her voice sounded through the speakers now I know were she is. "Would you like that?" I said aloud with a grin. "Intensely." Y/n said trying to make her voice horse before the clipping sound of the intercom stopping rang out before being replaced with a creepy melody that always scared her. "There was a crooked man. He walked a crooked mile he had a crooked six pence upon a crooked stile." It went on with childish like tones until it got further in the song it was so god damn loud though. "The crooked man stepped forth and... rang the crooked bell and thus his crooked soul... spiraled into a crooked hell.Murdered his crooked family... and laughed a crooked laugh." My ear drums almost burst at the loud deep voiced scream ears still ringing I didn't register the blade being driving into my sholder flinging her back I turn around as she's running down the narrow hallway taking the axe with both hands throw it straight and the axe hit her almost dead center in the spine. The audio cut off after the song and I stood over her. Y/n had her face turned coughing up blood I definitely hit her lung. "Thanks for catching it for me." I smile as I heavily put my foot on the small of her back pulling the axe out. She screamed out it was mildly gurgle from the blood. Turning her over my little sisters eyes shined with unshed tears. "Oh,no tears,please. It's a waste of good suffering." I said with a small whipping the few that slipped by she whimpered Sam's name and I grew frustrated. Lifting the axe again. "Looks like you couldn't make the cut,N/n. Just another extra that stuck around for too long." Dropping the axe down it went into her chest the creaking of her collar bone and sternum were whispers compared to the blood curdling cry. They soon died out as her skin paled and her breathing stopped she'llmake a strong demon. "See you soon." Taking the axe out I begin to drag her body.

The lights in the bunker cut back on meaning Sammy was home. Having placed her perfectly in the chair I was tied to I wait until he finds her standing next to the door. "Y/n?! Y/n!?" He yelled most likely having gone to her room rushing the the dungeon his heavy foot steps abruptly stopped. "Oh God! Y/n come on!" The moose of a man rushed in the room cradling her face in his hand. "You were too late, Sammy. She called your name before she went,but I guess five missed calls wasn't enough for you to rush home. N/n fought for so long waiting it out just for you to never show." I said closing the door as he turned to me standing infront of her corpse. "You didn't make things easy on her. I mean you took all the weapons and put the only thing to defend herself on the top shelf...like keeping the cookie jar way from a child. In some way you killed her before I could." Lifting the demon blade that had his own blood on it. I stalked towards him cornering him in the room. "Sure you won't give me a good chase,but woah she wore me out." Holding the blade to his throat when a gun shot fired and a sting hit my arm causing me to drop the knife.

Y/n stood colt in her left hand the axe keeping her up in her left. "Demons always so sure that what's dead is dead and can't be undead. Ever heard of a pulse jackass. " so distracted that she was alive Sam was able to restrain and she held a handful of bags of blood. "Let's get this over with." She bagan to inject me and I felt myself become mire human and I started thrashing hard. With the last vile in hand she looked into my eyes. "You should be dead." I hissed as she pushed the needle in. "Sorry. I'm into survival."

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

A/n This is the last one in round one of the Spnquotebingo and I ended with a dozen quotes.

Title: "Prime Time,Bitch!" Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

"Here's Johnny!" -The shinning

"Would you like to play a game?" - Saw

"...be afraid. Be very afraid"- The fly

"Welcome to my nightmare."- Nightmare on Elm Street

"..lose your head." Alice in Wonderland

"Wanna play?"- Child's Play

"What a excellent day for an exorcism...Would you like that?....Intensely." - The Exorcist

"There was a crooked man. He walked a crooked mile he had a crooked six pence upon a crooked stile." It went on with childish like tones until it got further in the song it was so god damn loud though. "The crooked man stepped forth and... rang the crooked bell and thus his crooked soul... spiraled into a crooked hell.Murdered his crooked family... and laughed a crooked laugh." - The Conjuring 2

"Oh,no tears,please. It's a waste of good suffering." - Hellraiser

"See you soon." - Coraline

"She called your name before she went,but I guess..." -Hadestown

"...what's dead is dead and can not me undead." -Jacksepticeye (DBD playthrough)

"I'm into survival." ‐Nightmare on Elm Street

[rowan-underthehouse]

Backseat Driving

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Ruby/Sam Winchester

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3547

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, mild sexual content, language

Additional Tags: mostly comedy with a few more serious moments, relationship reveal

Summary:

Sam and Dean Winchester have done a remarkable job of keeping their relationships with things they should probably be hunting a secret from each other. That is, until now.

Read it on Ao3 here

Sam never thought he’d live to say it, but he should probably be more grateful his brother is alive.

In a grander sense, he’s thrilled. He would have given everything for this in a heartbeat. Hell, he tried to give everything for this. All he wishes is that there was a way around the guilt.

It had become white noise when Dean was in the pit, horrible and endless, but it could be drowned out. He could convince himself that Dean would have wanted this if he could have seen the whole picture. Now it comes in waves. One moment he’s fine, the next he can barely keep his head above the water.

Sam is lacing his boots, trying to be as silent as possible when it hits him tonight. Dean willingly went to an eternity of torture for Sam’s sake, and Sam couldn’t even honour his dying wish. It’s harder to justify with his brother sleeping curled on his stomach a few feet away. Harder to ignore.

It’s ridiculous, shoving pillows under his quilt like some teenager sneaking out the back door with a bottle of Jack, but if he can’t keep his promise, at least he can try to keep Dean from worrying.

He quietly drops the impala’s keys into his pocket, and slips out into the night.

…

It’s hellhounds that wake Dean tonight, tearing at his chest and leaving shredded ribbons of flesh. He can’t move. Can’t fight or even look down. He just lays there, feeling the wet warmth of blood soaking into his clothes, catching glimpses of enormous slobbering heads, gasping for the breath that barely makes its way into his lungs.

He bolts upright, only making it halfway to the knife beneath his pillow before his brain lurches into the dark and empty motel room a few seconds after the rest of his body. He goes for fistfuls of his hair instead, tugging until it hurts and digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. His jaw aches, teeth having been clenched for far too long.

It’s another stupid fucking nightmare. That’s all it is. Dean just needs to fight through the relentless exhaustion still weighing him down and get his feet on the floor. Get some water or just stretch and try to reset his brain for any chance at a few hours of good sleep. But there’s a dog howling in the room next door and his eyes are so sticky with tears they almost burn and he can’t make his legs listen to his brain and kick off the covers.

“Shit.”

He doesn’t notice the telltale flutter of feathers, just the sudden steady pressure of Cas’ hand on his shoulder. Dean startles hard, sucking in a breath as he whips around.

“Cas.” A tiny bit of the tension drains from Dean’s body. “Did I,” he clears his throat, reaching for some dignity. “Did I call for you again?”

Cas smiles softly, setting a hand on Dean’s sternum, easing the crushing of his lungs, brushes knuckles against Dean’s jaw and saps out the tension. Maybe it’s a waste of his grace, but Cas always refuses to hear it.

“In a way. I sensed your longing.”

It sounds fucking pathetic, but Dean can’t bring himself to care. He’s too tired for the usual embarrassment that would come with grabbing fistfuls of Cas’s coat with trembling hands, and tugging him lightly toward the bed. Cas doesn’t need convincing.

Cas runs a hand through Dean’s hair and presses a kiss to the top of his head. He pulls back just long enough to drop his overcoat to the floor and kick off his shoes. Dean barely has time to register the loss of contact before Cas is straightening out the sheets, easing him out of his sweat soaked overshirt and jeans. He climbs under the covers and tangles his legs with Dean’s as easily as if it was breathing. Like they’re meant to hold each other this way. He pulls Dean tight to his chest, kneading his fingers into the tension in Dean’s shoulder blades, and Dean melts into him.

The battle against the bone-deep exhaustion dragging Dean back toward sleep is quickly becoming uphill. He presses his face into the fabric of Cas’ shirt.

“It’s alright, Dean. Rest. I have you.”

And Dean gives up the fight.

…

Maybe it’s hard-wired into demons for the sake of all their contracts, or maybe Ruby really wants to see what will happen next, but Sam doubts her constant punctuality is a courtesy.

She’s waiting on the corner of Oak and 19th when Sam pulls up, exactly where she said she’d be, jacket pulled tight across her chest to fend off the night chill.

Sam opens the door and she slides into the passenger seat.

“I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.”

Sam keeps his eyes on the dash. “Yeah. Well, I’m here now.”

Ruby catches his arm on its way to the ignition, finally managing to meet his eyes, her tone more gentle.

“You can’t listen to him, Sam. You’re stronger than your brother. He wouldn’t understand. He’d ruin everything we’ve worked for. It’s too important. We can’t let him get in the way.”

Sam sighs deeply. “I know.”

“You’re doing the right thing, Sam. This is the only way.”

“I know.”

Ruby relaxes her grip on Sam, easing back into the passenger seat as if nothing had happened.

“I would kill for some French fries. We can go to that restaurant and try to pick up Lilith’s trail. We’ll have to make sure you’re strong enough for tonight…”

She slips out her pocket knife, casually drawing the flat edge across her bicep, like a fidget instead of the open invitation Sam knows it is.

“…help you unwind.”

Sam steps on the gas.

…

Dean doesn’t sleep for more than an hour, waking up with Cas still relaxed beside him, eyes closed. If Dean didn’t know better, he’d think the angel was asleep. One big hand is splayed over Dean’s hip, thumb dipping just below the waistband of his worn boxers.

It’s driving Dean crazy.

It would be so easy to shift Cas’ hand to where he needs it. He’d just have to roll over. Maybe it would seem too desperate, but, fuck, Dean is desperate. It’s been weeks since they’ve had time for this and he’s passed one too many long drives thinking about Cas’ mouth on him.

Instead, he scoots closer, untucking Cas’s shirt to get to warm skin and toned abs. He presses a kiss into Cas’s collar bone, his neck, the underside of his jaw before finally pulling back to see his face. Cas’ eyes are open, pupils blown wide as he watches Dean. The grip on Dean’s hip tightens.

In one fluid movement, Dean repositions to kiss Cas more solidly, just about blacking out for a second when Cas matches his enthusiasm.

“Want you,” Cas gasps out between kisses.

His voice alone is almost enough for Dean. He closes his eyes again, trying to compose himself. “Yeah. Yeah, alright baby. Hold on.”

Cas frowns when Dean pulls back, obviously confused, until Dean props himself up and rolls to straddle Cas’ hips. It’s a process to get his shirt unbuttoned and off, Dean still kissing him like the world is ending much faster than it is, and Cas no more eager to pull away.

Dean finally sits back into Cas’ lap, taking a moment to catch his breath. He trails a hand down Cas’ chest, making him shiver.

“Fuck, sweetheart, look at you.” Dean loves seeing Cas like this, his face so open and happy. And because of Dean. It’s hard to wrap his head around. Dean traces along the smile forming on Cas’ lips, beaming when Cas presses a kiss into the pad of his thumb. He could get used to this.

Dean is leaning down to kiss him again when he loses his balance. He doesn’t fully understand what’s happening until his back hits the mattress, hands gently pinned above his head. It might be the hottest thing Dean has ever experienced. He barely stifles a moan as Cas shifts his weight on top of him.

At that exact moment, Dean remembers his brother, still tucked under his quilt in the adjacent bed.

“We should take this somewhere else.”

Cas nods, a strand of already disheveled hair falling into his face, and then Dean’s back hits the familiar cold leather of the impala’s back seat.

Arms unpinned, he sets to work on Cas’ belt, finally letting out the soft moan that’s been building at the back of his throat.

“Cas? DEAN!?” Dean doesn’t need to look to recognize Sam’s voice coming from the driver’s seat. “What the hell!”

…

Like so many other cars, the impala has a big, slightly scratchy blanket that lives in the back seat. The only difference is that this one has been replaced a good dozen times when there was too much blood to just wash out. The current car blanket is an almost new, grey number, which is, as it turns out, just big enough to wrap Dean in his relative state of undress like a very angry burrito.

He sits in the backseat, scowling at Sam through the rearview mirror. To Sam’s right, Ruby is looking only slightly less unimpressed.

Sam tries to enjoy the last few seconds of silence.

Ten…nine…eight…

“So it’s not bad enough to work with a demon, now you’re sleeping with her too?”

“Dean…”

“Don’t ‘Dean’ me! What the hell do you think you’re doing, man? How long have you been…been fraternizing with the enemy!”

Sam is living proof that no matter how hard you roll your eyes, they won’t get stuck.

“She’s not ‘the enemy’, and you don’t have much of a leg to stand on here, Dean. Do you really think it’s a good idea to get dicked down by an angel?”

Dean opens his mouth like there’s actually an excuse he could use here. No words come out. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Never say ‘dicked down’ to me again.”

Sam’s gained a bit of ground, and he refuses to lose it now.

He finally adjusts the mirror to get a good look at Castiel. He sits next to Dean, all shirtless and messy haired, but somehow the same stoic warrior Sam has always known save for the way he stares out the window like if he’s still enough they’ll forget he’s there.

It doesn’t take Dean long to deflect. “How long has this been going on behind my back?”

“You were dead, Dean! There wasn’t exactly a back to go behind.”

Ruby, who had apparently decided to let the brothers sort out their own argument, finally whirls around in her seat.

“He’s a big boy. He can make his own decisions.”

“Ruby-“ Sam wonders if it’s too late to launch himself out of the car.

“Apparently he can’t!” Dean half yells. “I’m dead for four months and the guy goes and hooks up with a demon! What if you knock her up Sam, did you ever think about that?”

Sam doesn’t have time to interject.

“And in my car ! Please tell me none of this happened in my car!”

Sam decides it’s best to say nothing at all.

“No.” Dean puts his head in his hands, ever the dramatic. “No! I’m going to have to deep-clean everything in here! No, you’re going to deep-clean everything.” He jabs an accusatory finger in Sam’s direction.

This was bound to come out eventually. Sam had hoped it would be many, many months down the line, over a beer, after he had defeated Lilith and saved the day. A little more congratulating and a little less half-naked Dean in the back seat. Now the best he can hope for is a chance at damage control. He turns to Ruby, who seems to be trying to glare Cas to death before he can do the same to her. That explains why they’ve been so quiet.

“Look, can you give us a minute, guys? It might be better for Dean and I to talk this out alo-“

Cas is gone before Sam can even finish his sentence. It almost feels too easy.

“Ruby?”

She hesitates, looking from Sam, to Dean, and back again.

“Alright, fine.” Her voice is seething with anger. “If your brother doesn’t trust me after everything I’ve sacrificed for you then I’ll just get out of the way. Enjoy your talk.”

Sam pulls over at the nearest gas station, getting one last icey look from Ruby before she opens the door.

“Lilith has been here.” A deep voice from the backseat makes Sam jump.

Cas has returned to his seat, now fully dressed, his brow pinched together.

“A town called High River 60 miles North.”

…

There have been a lot of awkward drives in the years Dean has spent hunting with his brother, but this might be the worst. He actually feels a flood of relief when the car rolls to a stop in a parking lot dimly lit by flickering lights.

The building in front of them appears to be a diner. It must be called Hal’s or Val’s or something, but after one too many seasons of snow, the sign reads A L’S I ER in washed out glowing red. The musty air reaches Dean a good twenty paces away when Sam cracks the door open and peers inside.

Sam signals behind him, and Ruby is slipping in the door before Dean can make a move.

“Just…wait here a minute. We’ve got it covered.”

“And let you go off with the demon chick and do whatever it is the two of you do when you aren’t defiling my car? I don’t think so.”

Dean starts after him, Cas stopping him by the arm. Dean doesn’t pull away. His heart does a tiny little flutter right out of a dimestore novel. It's embarrassing.

He gives Cas a once over, taking in the usual outfit, and then his own faded t-shirt and boxers. “Come on, man. You couldn’t have thought to grab me a pair of jeans?”

Cas’ face goes faintly red in the flickering light. He seriously considers something for a moment.

“I could go now, but it might be best for me to remain here.” He shoots a glance after Sam and Ruby.

“Forget it.” Dean grumbles.

Cas tilts his head to meet Dean’s eyes where he’s turned away. The grip on his arm goes from restraining to affectionate.

“You’re not angry with me. You’re embarrassed. And you’re scared that now this is out in the open something bad will happen.”

Dean scoffs “It’s not out in the-“

Cas moves a hand up to cup his face smiling gently. Reassuring.

Dean says nothing. Just covers Cas’ hand with his own and leans into it, closing his eyes.

…

When Sam peaks back out the diner door, Dean is waiting for him with his arms, and Castiel’s coat crossed across his chest like a disapproving sit-com mother.

“It’s all clear. Just one demon in there. We’ve got him tied up.”

“Wow, gee, great, Sammy. Did you gift wrap him for me too?” Dean calls back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

There goes the damage control. Sam sighs. At least the lying is over, even if it does come with the uniquely uncomfortable knowledge of why Dean’s grocery runs have been taking so long. Well… some of the lying is over. And he’s not lying to Dean about his powers exactly. Just strategically omitting details.

He pushes the door all the way open and leaves Dean to come in when he’s done sulking.

Maybe Dean is going to spend the rest of the night in You-did-something-I-don’t-like-so-now-I’m-going-to-be-as-miserable-as-possible mode, but Sam has to give him credit, he knows how to get a job done. When Dean marches up to the half-rotten chair the demon is tied to, it’s pretty intimidating.

The demon smirks up at Dean, not even struggling against the ropes bound over his grease-stained apron. He must have been the cook.

“Nice coat. Do you always dress like this for a hunt?”

Dean ignores him.

“What’s your name?”

Sam has stayed back behind his brother, half-bathed in shadow, and fixed his glare on the demon. If he’s heard anything from the others he’ll know it’s time to start talking.

“Does it matter?”

Shit. This isn’t going to be as easy as Sam had hoped. Apparently his reputation only precedes him so far.

Dean sets a hand on the back of the demon’s chair and leans in. “Alright. Let’s just cut the small talk then. Why was Lilith here?”

“Looks like you made it out of the pit, that’s a real shame, Winchester.” It’s subtle, but Sam sees Dean tense. Cas takes half a step forward. “Heard you were a real prodigy. Think you can get me to talk?”

Dean leans closer, pulling Ruby’s knife from the pocket of his…well…Cas’ coat. With a start, Sam realizes he had almost forgotten about the thing.

“Actually, I think I can.” He sneers.

At some point, Sam knows he’ll have to step in. He’ll have to bite the bullet and show Dean what he’s capable of. Pray he understands that it’s the only option. But Sam’s prayers have sat unanswered in some heavenly mail box long enough to collect their weight in dust. No. He’s going to make Dean understand.

He ignores Ruby’s warning look, closes his eyes and focuses on his breath, tugs on the dark thing deep inside him until he can feel it all the way to his fingertips, buzzing with power. He raises his hand. The squeezing starts to build inside his skull, like he’s standing on the roof of a plane with an unholy sinus infection. The demon’s voice barely cuts through it.

“Exorcise me if you want but Sebastian here has taken quite a beating. I leave, he dies.”

Sam lets his arm drop to his side, shrugging off the confused look Dean gives him. They’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.

“What was Lilith doing here?” Ruby pipes up.

The demon possessing Sebastian chuckles. “That’s above my pay grade, sweetheart. I thought you’d know that.”

It’s Dean’s turn again. “You can lie all you want, but we’re going to find out about it one way or another. Let’s do this the easy way. Give her up now. Working with a demon like that is only going to cause you problems.”

Not-Sebastian looks confused.

Sam rolls his eyes. “Well if he’s lying for her, maybe there’s a good reason, Dean! He knows how you’d react if he told the truth! He’s not some kid you need to protect anymore!”

Dean spins around. “Oh, so this is my fault?”

“You’re doing the exact same thing! You only think you’re better because he’s an angel and you can’t accept that this isn’t as black and white as it seems!”

Not-Sebastian looks incredulously between them. “Am I interrupting something?”

It’s remarkable how fast Dean wipes the embarrassed look off his face and turns back around. “What did Lilith tell you?”

“Nothing. Just doing her annual press tour.”

Castiel chooses that moment to step in. “He’s telling the truth. He does know anything.” Before he can speak, Cas slaps a hand onto Not-Sebastian’s head, not flinching when a blinding light pours out of his eyes. The demon slumps in his chair. “It could be a trap. We aren’t prepared for Lilith to bring the fight to us. We need to leave.”

And just like that it’s over. Sam doesn’t bother trying to talk to Dean again. He avoids Ruby’s glare from the back of the room, glancing between the scorched eyes of Not-Sebastian and Castiel. She brushes past him on her way out the door and down the street. There will definitely be complaints later. For now, she leaves the impala behind her, not wanting to follow Not-Sebastian.

He can barely make out Dean’s voice from inside the diner.

“Think the health inspector must have missed this place. Maybe they barbecued him up Whistlestop Café style.” A long stretch of silence. “It was a joke, man.”

Sam finally breaks the silence halfway through the drive. Why Dean let him drive again is beyond Sam, but it’s good to have his hands on the wheel and his mind on the road. Even with the welcome distraction, he can only last so long. “Can we just talk about this in the morning?”

Dean sighs. He looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes easier to see when he’s not dedicating every moment to hiding them. “Fine. But we’re talking about it.”

“Deal.”

The quiet is softer after that, underscored by faint music from the radio. It doesn’t take Dean long to slump into Cas’ shoulder, asleep faster than Sam has ever seen, maybe because of the protective arm Cas has tucked around his waist. Dean seems gentler like this. Almost happy. It brings a smile to Sam’s face.

Sure things are messy, but they’re the Winchester’s. He expects nothing less. And maybe if things work out for Dean, if he can actually be happy like this, it will be okay for Sam too.

[fanfic-corner]

Don't Mention It

I spat this out yesterday while procrastinating and didn't bother proof reading it, but I hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 840

They didn’t talk about it, when Cas came back. Dean hugged him and Sam hugged him and they drove home to the tune of Dean’s top 13 Zepp TRAXX and Sam’s hurried explanation of everything that had gone on. Dean simply pasted his most convincing smile on his face, pretended he was sober enough to drive, and steered down the twisting back country roads at a speed that other people might have found alarming.

They didn’t talk about it when Cas got home, either. Sam went to fix up Cas’ new room and Cas went to wash the mud and slime off him and Dean was left standing in the bunker hallway. Miracle bounced at his feet, wagging her tail excitedly, but he couldn’t even find the energy to move his arm to pet her. His entire body felt like lead.

He had been working under the assumption that this reunion would be very different. He would pull Cas from the Empty with his hand on his shoulder, he would say something witty like I’m the one who gripped you tight and saved you from your self-sacrificing bullshit and then they would kiss and the love that had been locked away in Dean’s heart for so long might actually have a chance to grow.

Dean stared at the now empty library, Miracle still at his feet, and he decided two things. First, he was going to make a damn good celebratory dinner, and second, he was going to retire.

It was no secret that hunting was Dean Winchester’s entire life, so it was only natural that he found himself pondering what he would do without it as he stirred the chicken he was frying. Getting a job wouldn’t be too hard - he’d been fixing up cars since he was ten years old and there was always need for a mechanic - but that still left plenty of free time. Maybe he would get a house, one with plenty of land for Miracle to run around on and a garage for his Baby and a nice kitchen so he could cook for-

He cut that thought off before he even had a chance to finish it. Why would Cas want to move in with him? He was freshly human, he deserved the full life experience, not to move in with some fucked up middle aged man.

Dean sighed and poured the ready-made spices into the frying pan. This was going to be more difficult than he imagined.

“Dinner’s nearly ready!” he yelled into the echoing abyss of the bunker. He hoped Cas would like fajitas.

It’s over a month before Dean finally tells them, and it’s not at all how he imagined it. They’re on a hunt - Dean promises himself it’s the last one, like he has every time since Cas came back - but there’s one more vamp than they were expecting. The slippery son of a bitch latches onto Dean’s neck and leaves with a chunk of it, and even though Sam cuts the fucker’s neck off only a few seconds later, Dean’s officially done.

“Dean! Are you alright?” Cas asks, hovering above him with one arm extended, like he forgot he couldn’t just magic the pain away this time.

“I’m gonna fucking retire,” Dean grunts out in response, meeting Cas’ shocked eyes for a moment, before promptly passing out.

Technically, it’s the morning after the botched hunt when they actually get around to having The Talk. Dean is sprawled out on a motel bed, scratching lazily at the bandages around his neck as Sam’s fingers travel over the keyboard, head gently bobbing in time to the music playing through his crappy earbuds. Cas sits on the end of the opposite bed, his eyes locked on Dean, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Are you alright?” he asks again, and Dean just swallows.

“I meant what I said last night,” he says, ready to get this whole conversation over and done with. Sam never stops typing, doesn’t even raise his head to indicate he had heard Dean speak. “I’m gonna retire. Been thinking ‘bout it for ages.”

“What will you do?” Cas asks, and Dean could swear he sounds sadder than usual.

“I dunno. Get a house somewhere above ground, for me and Miracle.” He hesitates for a moment, before adding, “And you, too, if you want.”

Cas’ blinks twice, searching Dean to check if the offer is sincere. “Really?”

Dean sighs.“Man, I am so sick of pretending. I’ve been in love with you this whole time, you dumb fucker, so unless you’ve retracted your statement or some shit-”

Sam stops typing.

“No,” Cas interrupts firmly, before shifting uncomfortably. “I thought the reason you didn’t mention it was because it was awkward, and I was scared of losing you.”

Dean scoffs. “Couldn’t lose me if you tried, sunshine.” He glances over at Sam, who is grinning wildly but still adamantly staring at his computer screen. “Wanna grab breakfast with me while Sasquatch is busy?”

Cas smiles. “I think I’d like that.”

[pointlesstrashyexistence]

Every few days I think about how if Supernatural’s writers were just planning on killing of Cas and then never mentioning him again with the original ending involving the possibility of just a brief cameo of him in Heaven weirdly partying with (dead?) Kansas, I probably would’ve preferred it if Cas didn’t have a confession scene.

Ok here me out. Yes I ship DeanCas/Destiel. Yes I loved that there was at least acknowledgment of Cas’ romantic feelings towards Dean. Misha has outright said the confession was romantic and there have already been two official dubs in two different languages where the “I love you” specifically uses phrases that show romantic love. It’s not up for debate anymore if those feelings were romantic.

But if they were just going to throw that in there and get rid of Cas and never mention him again except for two scenes where he doesn’t appear and one that is just Lucifer pretending to be him to gain access to the bunker, I would’ve preferred it if Cas’ true happiness was something that I think would’ve been the ultimate acknowledgement of Cas’ transformation, which I feel would’ve been Jack calling Cas his dad and telling his dad how much he loves him. Of all three members of Team Free Will 1.0, Cas has been the most like a dad to Jack. Cas was the one who eventually helped Kelly hide, prepared a home for Jack and Kelly to live in, for Jack to be raised in safe and loved and cared for. Cas was the one prepared to go down fighting to protect Jack before Jack was even born. Cas is the one who always runs to Jack, to protect Jack, to save Jack, even if it means creating a rift between him, Sam, and Dean.

I love my Sam Winchester is Jack Kline’s Father fics, and my Dean Winchester is Jack Kline’s Father fics, and my Team Free Will 1.0 are Jack Kline’s Fathers fic on ao3 . I do. But if we’re talking about in the show, Cas is the one who is the most like a father to Jack.

Love Dean and wish that man had been given therapy and anger management and AA meetings and working to become a better, less violent person who takes accountability for what he’s done as his finale ending rather than just dying by a fucking nail through the chest, something Cordelia on Buffy The Vampire Slayer survives after like a twenty foot drop from a staircase. But Dean outright hates Jack during his widower arc and makes it known how much of a monster he thinks Jack is to the point where Jack repeatedly tries to commit suicide and then it’s just never really brought up again after Cas comes back and Dean then just goes back and forth on whether he thinks Jack is part of his family or not for the last three seasons. As much as I like the few scenes where Dean is actually bonding with Jack and calls him “their kid” and Jack referring to himself as a Winchester, Dean isn’t really Jack’s dad in the show. Do I think this probably would’ve been a different story if we got baby Jack? Yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now

Sam? Sam definitely tries at first. Sam gets what it’s like to feel like a monster and be viewed as one even when your not, and calls out Dean for how he acts and behaves towards Jack. But Dean just as easily calls out Sam for using Jack to try and get their mother back and trying to appear invested in Jack to get what he wants. Sam’s affection for Jack is conditional at first. He gradually grows to be more paternal to Jack but by season 14, it kind of just dwindles away. We got all this buildup of Sam and Jack’s relationship, which yes there should’ve been because here you have someone who was supposed to be the True Vessel of Lucifer, the Boy King of Hell and the Antichrist, the Son of Lucifer, and there’s not really any care given to it afterwards. That season was probably the last time the writers actually did anything interesting with Sam and tried to give him an arc in my opinion.

Cas though? Cas, who was a warrior of God that led garrisons and killed the offspring nephilim of lesser angels? Cas who grows a respect and admiration for humanity, seeing them as complex miraculous beings rather than hairless apes like the majority of the angels? Cas who defends humanity’s existence against other angels even at the cost of his life? Cas who originally thought of the Antichrist as a monster that needed to be killed to protect humanity but heard Kelly talk about how good she believed her child could be despite being the son of the devil and saw a paradise on earth when he actually communicated with Jack in the womb? Cas who separated from the only other two people he has consistently turned to for help and has provided help for in order to try and ensure Jack would be a child safe and loved even if it meant being away from the people he considered family and could die protecting Jack and Kelly? Cas who unconditionally loves and treats Jack as his child throughout the last three season? He is definitely Jack’s father.

I just think there’s something very fitting about the angel who unconditionally loved humanity despite never being able to entirely follow god’s orders raising the supposed antichrist who becomes a god that respects humanity’s free will. And I think that scene would’ve been fantastic in that Cas loves Jack as his child so much that he makes that deal with the Empty in the first place to protect Jack , but Cas loves Jack so much that Jack is the reason the deal is broken. Jack doesn’t realize Cas thinks of him as his child the same way Cas doesn’t think Jack sees him as his dad, and that recognition that they feel the same way is the most bittersweet moment in the world because their first moment where they mutually knowingly recognize each other as parent and child seems like it might be the last one they have together as they hug. Jack sobs while furiously apologizing as he sees black goo come to reach Cas who only has a few more second left to kiss the top of his child’s head and hug him close and say something like “I love you so much my son” before pushing him away while Jack watches, crying as he calls out “Dad don’t leave me” as his father get covered in black goo while smiling with tears streaming down his face before disappearing.

I’m not sure how that situation could’ve occurred. Maybe Jack and Cas are together when people start disappearing, and Jack worries about how if Chuck doesn’t consider him important enough to torment he could also be proofed away, and he wants to tell his dad how much he loves him in that way kids do when they think they might see their parents for the last time and despite being in basically an adult body Jack is still three and not really thinking about what could happen or doesn’t even think this could be Cas’ happiest moment because he always thought Cas knew Jack thought of him as his dad. I don’t know.

But that scene happens and the Empty collects Cas and then when Jack becomes god and brings everyone back, he somehow also brings Cas back from the empty. Look the writers gave absolutely no good reason for why Lucifer somehow came back from the empty in 15x19 when the Empty specifically states that Chuck has no power in her domain so why should I? But I guess if I was going to it would’ve involved Jack finding out how it got loud in the empty and bargaining with the Empty in trading demons, angels, and other nephilim in exchange for making the empty quiet again and managing to deal with what to do with all of these now revived supernatural creatures. Still frustrated that the show made God the enemy and turned Billie into a last minute villain when the Empty was right the, the Enpty was hyped up, and then it just took Cas and Billie and disappeared, and was never heard from again.

Anyways, Jack and Amara separate but they’re still functioning as a unit and are working together to fix the other universes as well as heaven and the systems of who gets sent to heaven, hell, and purgatory in a sort of season 4 of the Good Place style, and Cas takes on a major role as the celestial being with the most interaction with and understanding of humanity, especially with that time he was a homeless human under his belt to provide his own reflection on why certain people may do things that are wrong like stealing in order to provide just a basic need for themselves like stealing food to eat. It’s implied that Rowena’s involved in this too. Cas and Jack say their goodbyes to Sam and Dean. If I had it my way, the finale would end up being like the one I made up in an earlier post where Sam and Dean get their beach day but realize that their relationship isn’t healthy for either of them and separate and the viewer no longer has access to what they do with their lives afterwards because Sam and Dean now have control of their own stories and decide who gets to see it. But I guess what I made up fixes some general overarching complaints about the last three episodes. I still hate that last episode and what I feel is the assassination of 15 years of character development of Sam and Dean in order to go back to S1 with Sam as the main character and Dean as the side character interrupting his life but I just barely acknowledge it as the show’s finale.

I do love the confession scene. I really do. But if it was just going to end with Cas dying a minute after confessing his love and never being seen or acknowledged again, I would’ve much rather preferred it being that his happiest moment was being with his child in the endless feedback loop of familial love.

[it-me-ari]

“Beautiful Pain” (reposte)

This is a fic I wrote a while ago and I never proof read (there were soo many mistakes). Also I didn’t make any paragrahs and could only post it in screenshots bc my phone couldn’t handle it. But here it is again, corrected, with paragraphs and as a normal text post!

The Winchesters and I just came back from a hunt and I was about to cook something for all of us (Dean didn't care for healthy food as usual) when Arthur Ketch, our favourite brit (not) suddenly stepped into our meeting room. Sam and Dean pulled out their guns in an instant and I was ready to throw my knife at him but instead of attacking he just lifted his hands above his head. "Don't shoot. I come in peace." He said in a calm voice and carefully pulled a badly beaten up person, clothed in dirty rags, beside him. "And I come bearing gifts." He continued and gestured at the poor guy who looked at us with tensed shoulders and fear in his eyes. I didn't recognize him at first, as he was covered in blood and dirt, but then it hit me and I took a sharp breath. "Gabriel?!" I whispered, trying to push down the emotions that whirled up inside me.

I thought he was dead. I thought I'd never see him again. Hell, I didn't eat for weeks because of his death. Before he 'died' we were good friends, that had the potential to be something more, considering our flirting and teasing it wouldn't have been long before we got together. And, most importantly, Gabriel kissed me before he took on Lucifer and got 'killed'. I couldn't believe what I saw, what had happened to him? I didn't understand why he was alive and why he looked like someone tortured him. Ketch explained that Asmodeus, fourth prince of no hell, had captured him, tortured him and drained him of his grace to inject it himself. The Winchesters and I changed meaningful glances, archangel grace was the last ingredient we needed to open a door to Mary and Jack.

“We're gonna need his grace." Sam finally said you could see that he felt guilty saying that, as Gabriel was in such a bad shape. As soon as he said that the archangel whimpered and stumbled backwards in panic. "Wow calm down. I've also brought this-" said Ketch, calming Gabriel while pulling out two ampoules, filled with shimmering grace, carefully he put them on the table. Gabriel's reaction hurt me, this was not the cocky, powerful archangel I remembered, this was a broken soul, scared and hurt. I hated seeing him like this, hurt, broken, fearful. It pained me that he was suffering so much and the strong urge to take care of him and protect him rose inside me. The boys finally put their guns away and started strategizing with Ketch, unsure what to do with him, they argued for quite a while. I was still in shock about the sudden twist our mission had taken and didn't participate.

Finally, they decided that Dean and Ketch will go to apocalypse world to save Mary and Jack, while Sam and I would stay at the bunker to take care of Gabriel and to guard the door. After they left Castiel arrived and the three of us tried to get a reaction from Gabriel, but he either didn't realize our presence or didn't remember us. Anyway it was very painful to watch him in that state and I almost couldn't bear it, but I kept reminding myself that I had to be strong for Gabriel. When we tried to give him the ampoule of his grace we had left he struggled and refused to take it. "I don't think he will accept it in his current state," Cas stated worried and we decided to let him rest for a while.

After a few hours Cas went to check on Gabriel and what he found in the room caused him to call for us in an urgent tone. "Sam, Angel!" Sam and I were there in an instant, equally surprised how the room had changed. The walls were covered in enochian symbols from top to bottom. "What is this? Did he do that?" I stuttered and looked at Cas in confusion: "Is it enochian?"

Cas scanned the walls with a frown before he answered: "It's his story. It starts with his death." I winced as I remembered how Gabriel died in front of my eyes, murdered by his own brother. Cas continued, oblivious to my reaction to his words: "Or what appeared to be his death. 'As usual, my brother had double my brawn and half my brains. He assumed the counterfeit me is what vanished that night and he thought that he'd stabbed the real thing.' " He ran his fingers over the symbols before he kept on reading: " 'The truth is, the thing Luci skewered was a fake. Plenty of fakes to go around. Everyone believed Gabriel was gone. And suddenly, I was free. No obligations to god or heaven or mankind. And so I did what everyone would do. I moved to Monte Carlo and shacked up with porn stars.' "

As he read those words my head snapped up and I looked at Gabriel in shock, unable to conceal my feelings. It was probably the wrong time to be jealous and hurt but I couldn't ignore the sharp pain in my chest, it felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. I realized that I never had a chance at a relationship with Gabriel. To him, I was just a toy, a mildly amusing distraction at the end of the world. And the kiss was probably just to underline the drama of his 'death'. Cas, who didn't see my reaction, read quietly for a while before he started talking again: "Well he goes on and on for quite a while about porn stars and, uh-" "Cas, please." Interrupted Sam, guessing how I was feeling about the things he just said.

Cas looked at me briefly and continued: "Okay, so Gabriel was captured and delivered to Asmodeus. 'For years, I knew nothing but endless torture. Asmodeus, once the weakest of Hell's princes, grew strong by feeding on my grace.' " I looked at Gabriel again and felt how anger cut through the pain, I hated Asmodeus for doing that to Gabriel, even though he left me for some porn stars I still loved him and didn't want anyone to hurt him. Well, obviously his intellect is intact." Stated Castiel after a few minutes of grave silence. "So, why isn't he talking to us?" I whispered, not trusting my voice to conceal my mixed feelings. "I don't know, maybe he can't." Answered Castiel, his voice filled with helplessness. "Or maybe he's choosing not to. Maybe he thinks it's safer that way." Said Sam quietly, sounding like he knew the feeling. I tensed slightly and dropped my head, wishing desperately I could help him.

In an attempt to make things better we helped Gabriel to sit down on the bed and Castiel and I tried to heal him. Neither of us had any luck, his injuries were too severe. Castiel looked at us, his hands still on Gabriel's head: "It's not possible for an angel to heal an archangel. I'm just trying to jolt his mind into thinking straight." He sighed and removed his hands from Gabriel. "Even then, it's possible that he's lost." I breathed in shakily, holding back my tears, I just couldn't bear the thought that Gabriel might be lost forever. Sam silently put his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

After that Castiel left, while I and Sam stayed with Gabriel, keeping him company. It was silent for a long while, neither I nor Sam knew what to say. Finally, Sam stood up and faced Gabriel with an intense gaze. "Gabriel, you have to dig yourself out of this hole. Look, I know you think it's safer inside. No more torture. No more pain. No more expectations." He sighed and looked at Gabriel, searching for something that would indicate that he understood what Sam was saying. But he just stared into nothing, his eyes empty. So Sam continued: "I've been there. You were nothing like your family. You sure as hell weren't like your dad. Me either. And just like you, I got out. Or I thought I got out. But then.." He took a step closer to Gabriel, still looking at him intensely. "Then, my family needed me. And this is my life. No matter how many times I've tried to fight it, this is what I was put here to do. This is where I make the world a better place." He sighed again and shrugged his shoulders in a resigned way. "And sure, yeah, hookers in Monte Carlo, sounds great, but your family needs you. Jack, your nephew, needs you. The world needs you. We need you." He paused and looked briefly at me, before turning his head back to Gabriel: "Angel needs you." He said quietly and let Gabriel time to process his words. "So please, help us." He said finally.

It was silent for a few minutes and just when I thought Sam's speech didn't get through to Gabriel at all, he said something: "Porn stars. They were porn stars, Sam." His eyes glowed in a bright blue and the ghost of his old, cocky grin flickered across his face. As much as I was relieved that we got Gabriel back, I was also hurt that the first words he said after years of torture were about porn stars. Porn stars. Barely able to hold back my tears I stormed out of the room, through the long corridors of the bunker, in my room, where I threw myself in my bed and started crying. I knew I should be happy that Gabriel was alive and still kind of sane, but I couldn't ban the image of him with some porn stars of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he faked his death and took off without a word to me. I thought we had something going on, but the fact that he abandoned me for his freedom told a different story.

Back in Gabriel's room, he barely noticed that I left because he was still not completely himself, Sam and Castiel fed him the other ampoule of his grace to help him recover. Only seconds after that, Sam's phone rang. He picked up and put the person calling on speaker: "Samuel." An all to familiar voice said in a confident tone. Gabriel looked up in horror and jerked back, it was the voice of his torturer. It was Asmodeus. "I hope you're having a pleasant day." Gabriel’s breath quickened and he looked like a cornered animal. "It's come to my attention you boys have something that belongs to me and I'd like it back." Sam and Castiel exchanged worried glances but he answered calmly: "I don't know what you're talking about." "Oh, I believe you do. And I'm gonna give you one chance to return him to me. No harm, no foul." If I were present during that phone call I'd ripped the phone out of Sam's hand to give him a piece of my mind. But Sam just stayed cool as he answered simply: "I'm hanging up." Asmodeus didn't like that: "Do not hang up on me." He roared furiously. "Gabriel is of no use to you in his current condition. Should you choose to resist me, I have no choice but to take him by force." Gabriel looked horrified at his words and panted fearfully. "I will reduce you and that sad little bunker of yours to ashes. You've got ten minutes." With that said he just hung up, leaving Gabriel on the edge of a panic attack and two very worried boys.

Meanwhile, I was in my room, trying to get myself together again. By the time the bunker went into the emergency mode, I'd stopped crying and was almost back to normal again, or at least almost ready to act normal again. As soon as the lights went red and the alarm started blaring, I burst out of my room and rushed to the entrance, almost running into Sam and Cas, who were headed to the same direction. "What's going on?!" I asked tensed, a knife in my hand. "Asmodeus. He's coming for Gabriel." Sam answered courtly and fastened his pace. When we reached the conference room we were immediately attacked by a bunch of demons, but we could handle them without a problem. The problems started when Asmodeus himself appeared, grinning arrogantly at us.

"Your warding wasn't designed for the likes of me, Samuel." He pinned the three of us against a wall, using his powers and looked at us, mildly amused. "I've come to claim what's mine." We had to watch helplessly how two demons dragged Gabriel across the room towards Asmodeus, he looked confused and scared. Asmodeus walked towards him and patted his cheek with an arrogant smile. "Oh, I missed you, boy." Gabriel whimpered and turned his head away from him. Asmodeus chuckled and took a step back, Gabriel squirmed under his gaze and looked up to him like a frightened child. "I'm gonna have to punish you rather severely, I'm afraid." He said, trying to achieve a fatherly tone, but it just sounded slimy. Gabriel breathed heavily and looked around, his eyes pleading for help. Watching a pathetic little demon like Asmodeus treating a powerful, several millennia's old archangel like a naughty child made me furious and gave me new strength. Somehow I managed to break free from Asmodeus' grip and jumped at him with my knife directed at his heart. But he saw me coming and with just a single movement of his hand, I was thrown against a wall again. This time I wasn't so lucky, my head slammed against the wall and I immediately lost my consciousness, causing me to miss all the following action.

Asmodeus watched Gabriel with a while, a satisfied smile on his lips. Finally, he nodded towards the stairs and the demons holding him dragged him up the stairs and towards the bunker door. Asmodeus straightened his suit in a business-like manner and turned towards the boys. "As for you two.." he raised his fists and slowly started closing them, causing Sam and Castiel to squirm in pain. Apparently, he had forgotten about unconscious me, lying beneath the table. Meanwhile, Gabriel and the two demons dragging him reached the top of the stairs, where Gabriel struggled and overwhelmed them. He threw them both over the railing and leaned on it, panting. Asmodeus frowned and shifted his attention to the battered archangel: "Gabriel. What are you doing, son?" His voice was amused, bursting with confidence. If I had been awake this statement would've made me furious. Asmodeus smiled sadistically: "You know too well what I can do to you." The angel didn't react, his head hanging low, his hands tightly gripped the railing. Asmodeus frowned, now getting angry, and shouted: "I broke you!"

Gabriel slowly lifted his head, eyes glowing bright blue. "You're too weak!" Asmodeus shouted again, now really furious. With a sudden movement, Gabriel straightened his back while at the same time his appearance changed back to normal. His wounds disappeared, so did the blood and the dirt and his hair were clean and fluffy again. With still glowing eyes he looked down at Asmodeus, unfolding his wings as a demonstration of power. The look on Asmodeus' face changed as he slowly began to realise that Gabriel was finding back to his old self, hectically he produced a lightning bolt and threw it at Gabriel. But the archangel casually slapped it to the side, cracked his head a little and looked at Asmodeus with cold eyes: "Not anymore." He tilted his head a little and said in his usual, mocking tone: "Oh, by the way, I always hated that dumbass suit." And with that, leaving Asmodeus no time to react, his hand jerked forward, his eyes started glowing and Asmodeus slowly started smoking. Gabriel twisted his hand a little and the smoke turned into fire. Asmodeus looked at his hands in horror and started screaming, Gabriel smiled and watched satisfied how his torturer burned to death. And I was still unconscious, which really annoys me now, I would've enjoyed seeing him burn.

Afterwards (after they brought me to my room) Cas and Sam told Gabriel everything that'd happened, including how we want to save Mary Winchester and his nephew Jack from an alternate universe. It was a lot to take in and Gabriel, freshly recovered, was a little overwhelmed. "Whoa- too much information." He stuttered. "Slow down, I'm not processing." He groaned and massaged his temples. Castiel sighed: "And there's more... Michael wants to come to this earth and destroy it. We may need your help to fight him." Gabriel slowly raised his eyebrows, obviously hoping that he'd heard wrong: "What?" Sam chuckled softly at his reaction: "Yeah." It was not a happy chuckle tho, more like a 'yeah, I know, we're fucked' chuckle. Gabriel looked at Sam with a 'please tell me you're joking' face. Sam sighed and said with fake joy: "Welcome to the team."

The archangels face showed his disapproval: "Uh- yeah. Not so much." He said slowly and leaned back. "I mean, thank you for the rescue and for the redemption arc, but uh-" he slowly stood up while speaking "I'm not really a 'team' guy." Sam looked at him like a lost puppy while Cas, already knew what came next, looked annoyed. Gabriel, not caring about any of them, continued speaking: "Sooo, I'm gonna bounce, okay? Uhm, but, you know, it's been- uhm- What's the opposite of fun?" He tilted his head a little, pretending to think about it, then answered the question himself: "That." He walked past the two boys, seemingly not caring at all. "No. Gabriel, don't- you- you can't just walk way!" Stuttered Sam, still looking like a lost puppy. "If Michael comes here, he will end this world." He continued after Gabriel just walked past him. The angel sighed and turned around: "And the last time the world was ending, I put my money on you." He said and pointed at Sam with a finger gun. "I think you can pull it off again." He turned around and started walking again when Castiel spoke: "No. You cannot turn your back on your father's creation." His face was serious as he when he appealed to his sense of honour. Gabriel turned around again and looked at the other angel almost pitiful: "Castiel, my father turned his back to his creation." After no-one replied he shrugged and said: "Guess it just runs in the family" sounding a little bitter and before anyone could answer he was gone.

That was the moment when I walked into the room, I could just hear the flutter of his wings and frowned in confusion, I was still dizzy from my head injury. "What the hell is going on?" I asked Sam and Cas and they told me everything. "He- he left?" I whispered, close to crying. Again. Nobody said anything. Cas looked at me with pity. Sam pulled me into a hug. When Dean got back from apocalypse world, without Ketch, we found out that he wasn't able to find Mary and Jack and Ketch decided to stay in apocalypse world to prepare everything for another rescue attempt. He was not happy when he found out that Gabriel took off and we haven't had any archangel grace left.

Two weeks later, after we found Rowena, we finally knew were Gabriel was and of course we immediately took off to the town where Rowena's tracking spell told us he was. I was not sure how I should feel, now that we had a real clue where Gabriel was. I was still hurt about how he acted but I also missed him, I've been missing him for over 7 years and his sudden appearance brought all the feelings back. I wanted at least talk to him, maybe shout at him. Arguing from the other end of the motel room brought me back to reality and I decided to see what Sam and Dean were fighting about this time. Turned out, that Sam wanted to stay longer in this town, to check every possibility, while Dean wanted to move on. "We don't have time Sammy!" He shouted angrily, but also desperate, he was like this all the time since he came back from apocalypse world without Mary and Jack. "Mom and Jack, they could be hurt or worse. And we're stuck here in this stupid motel room looking for some runaway, dumbass archangel who doesn't wanna be found!"

Sam frowned and opened his mouth to answer, but before he could say anything I decided to involve myself and maybe try to calm things down. "Dean, calm down, we still have a chance of finding Gabriel. I mean, yeah, Rowena isn't the most trustworthy person but she is a powerful witch after all." I said in a calm voice, hoping I could reason with him. But he just rolled his eyes: "This town has more than five houses, Angel, what do you think is gonna happen? That Gabriel just comes here like 'hey fellas, I'm here to help you'?" I opened my mouth to protest but was interrupted by someone knocking on our door. I exchanged glances with the brothers and together we walked to the door, weapons ready. Dean carefully opened it and what was behind that door took us all by surprise.

It was Gabriel, with messy hair and a bloody shirt. He smiled weakly at our dumbstruck faces: "Hey fellas, looking for me?" Slowly we put our guns down and let him in. I wanted to heal his wound but Dean wouldn't let me, he didn't want Gabe getting strong enough to disappear again, so I let Sam handle it. It was bad being so close to him and knowing that I never meant anything to him, but it was worse that he acted like he didn't know me. He barely looked at me and only shot me a curious look when I offered to heal him. I mean I never told him about my powers, but it still hurt to see him act that way. I tried to ban these thoughts from my mind and watched Sam patching up Gabriel instead. "Alright, this is gonna hurt a little." He said while he bandaged him. "A little?" Gabriel groaned and shut his eyes in pain. I couldn't fight a smile, guess he wasn't used to being actually hurt.

"How'd you know we were here?" Sam asked after he finished and looked at the wounded archangel. Dean and I stood beside him, watching him with emotionless faces, probably the first time I was with Dean when it comes to deal with the Trickster. "Come on." Said Trickster chuckled and sat up. "I felt your witch's tracking spell the second she laid it on me. Tasted like haggis." "So now you're in trouble?" Sam asked casually while putting away his medical stuff. "What gave you that idea?" Gabriel asked, trying to sound as cool as always. Dean lifted his eyebrows and answered: "Well, you show up at our doorstep, bleeding like a stuck pig." "This?" Gabriel laughed, gesturing at his wound. "Eh you know, I roll into town, have some fun, stumble into the wrong poker game, take a guy's money... his wife.." He shrugged. "Things get messy." None of us believed him for a second, I was the one to voice my disbelief: "You're trying to tell us you came here to have some fun?" I asked with raised eyebrows. "Yeah, this isn't exactly the Riviera." Dean scoffed. "I know right?" Gabe laughed and then looked at me curiously. I hated it, like he never met me.

Then he cleared his throat and got ready to stand up: "Yeah, so anyway, uhm- I don't suppose you guys have any more of my grace laying around, right? 'Cause, uh, the tank's a little low." He looked up hopefully and I reluctantly admitted to myself that he looked adorable like that. "Did you drain it killing Asmodeus?" Sam asked, sounding a little worried. "And ditching you," Gabriel added and I winced, another thing that hurt. "I'll recharge eventually but uh- until then..." He didn't finish the sentence and looked a little desperate. "Whatever we didn't use on you, we used to open up a rift." Dean finally said. The archangels face showed literally 'oh fuck' and he was silent for a while. "...cool" he finally said. "Super duper. Okay. Well, uh, in that case, gentlemen and lady, I must bid you my goodb-" he groaned loudly as he tried to stand up and his wound hurt. "Yeah, no-" he said, leaning back again. "Maybe after a little siesta." With that said he laid down on the couch and closed his eyes. The fact that he actually fell asleep worried me a little, even though I tried to ignore that. We used the time he slept to discuss what we should do with him.

"I don't get why he's here," Sam said thoughtfully and looked at the sleeping angel. "Yeah, well, right now I don't care. He's here and we're gonna keep him here." Dean said and before I could say something Gabriel woke up in a jolt. "Where am I?" He mumbled confused until he saw us sitting at the table. "Oh, right. You." He sighed and touched his wound carefully. "Ouch." He winced and looked down at his stomach. Sam stood up. "Gabriel, look, we don't really know what's going on here." "We need your help," I said bluntly, staring at him with a neutral expression. "Uh-" he started, confused about my behaviour "Yeah, not a big joiner." He chuckled. Dean looked at him and raised his eyebrows triggered. "So you have better things to do than save the world?" "Exactly." He answered defensively. Dean and I exchanged glances while Gabriel tried to stand up again. "Look, this has been great, a real thrill, but uh- I just came here for the silver stuff. And since you don't have it anymore-" he lifted his suitcase and jacket and stood up with a barley concealed grunt "-it's time for me to say sayonara."

In exactly that moment the door flew open and two men stood in the doorway. "We're here for the angel." Said the big, muscular one with a Scandinavian accent, while the other one, a smaller, slimmer man (more a boy than a man), just flexed with his nicely done hair. For a second under the big one's features glowed a dangerous-looking face with horns, while the slim one had a horses head underneath his human face. "What the hell are you guys?" Asked Dean horrified, then whispered to Gabriel, loud enough for everyone to hear: "The hell are these guys?" "Oh, just a couple of Norse demigods." Answered the angel in his typical, casual way. "Demigods?" I snapped and raised my knife, ready to fight. It followed a brief fight that ended with Gabriel stabbing the big guy with a wooden sword that looked like a katana. When his body dropped to the ground the other dude froze and stared at Gabriel with wide eyes. "Hey, handsome" the angel teased "are you ready to die?" The boy broke free from his paralysis and ran away. As soon as he was out of sight, Gabriel lowered the sword and held his wound, groaning.

Dean relaxed a little and looked at Gabriel. "You okay?" He asked, even tho the answer was obvious. "Yeah, yeah.. I'll go after him in a sec... I just.. need a minute." Answered Gabriel panting, still holding his wound. "Wrong." Replied Dean simply and pulled out a pair of angel-proof handcuffs. "You're not going anywhere." Gabriel looked at the handcuffs and sighed frustrated, but didn't seem surprised. So we tied Gabriel to the bedframe and went to get rid of the body, laying in our room. "You know, you guys are lucky I'm low on power, considering what I did to the last guy who locked me up." Dean took off his jacket unimpressed. "You know what?" He asked. "We said we'd let you go, just as soon as you tell us what the hell is going on here." Gabriel looked away "yeah.." he clicked his tongue "it's not a fun story." "Well, we just broke into a junkyard and stuffed the body of a demigod into a car crusher. So I think you owe us some answers." Sam and Dean threw their jackets at their beds and sat down in front of Gabe, while I leaned against the wall.

“Okay, they’re not really demigods." Gabriel started, which just got him unimpressed stares from each of us, so he continued, sounding almost defensive. "Look, the whole Norse pantheon is its own weird thing." He looked at us, checking if we were listening. "Think of them more like, uh, God begotten monsters-" "Yeah, whatever. What did they want with you?" Interrupted Dean impatiently. Our 'prisoner' sighed, knowing his stalling time was over: "I killed their brother." He said directly. Sam looked at him like 'you did WHAT?' but then just asked why. The archangel was silent for a moment and then started he started to talk: "Remember when I told you what happened after I faked my death at that motel?" He asked and I closed my eyes, knowing what was about to come. "Yeah, of course, you went to uhh- Monte Carlo with a bunch of porn stars." Dean's reaction was soft chuckle like 'niiice dude', but then he was serious again.

"Yeah, well, I left a few parts out." Gabriel took on narrating again: "After Lucifer 'killed me', I needed to lay low. Luckily, I used to hang with a pretty resourceful crew. Found me a real top-shelf hideaway." He then told us about this fancy penthouse, the porn stars, how he played poker and so on. "I had it made." He sighed. "All the booze I could drink, all the uh- entertainment, I could handle.." Sam saw how my gaze hardened and quickly interrupted before he could continue: "Okay. Why don't we just skip to the end?" Dean looked a little disappointed but seemed to understand, while Gabriel was kind of offended, but then he sighed and skipped, as requested, to the end of his story: "So this is how it ended. The two dudes from earlier, along with their brother, captured me in my sleep and somehow managed to sedate me. By the time I came to, they had me sold to Asmodeus."

"Why would they do that?" Asked Sam, looking confused. Gabriel looked at Sam like he was stupid: "Helloo? Lucifer? In case you don't remember, there was an apocalypse brewing at the time." "We remember." Sam courtly answered. "Well, Vegas odds had my bro pulling off a big win." "Yeah? And whose fault is that?" Dean asked coldly. Gabe pressed his lips together and didn't answer at first. "Hmmm." He said finally. "Fenrir, Sleipnir and Narfi were just trying to cover their asses. They needed to get rid of me before Lucifer figured out where they had me hidden. But selling me to that Kentucky fried asshole? For them? That was all profit." His speech grew a bit heated towards the end, but who would blame him? Dean nodded slowly and then asked: "So you want revenge?" Gabriel rolled his eyes: "Well, obviously. Roasting Asmodeus was satisfying- for a hot minute. But you know one thing better than killing him? Slaughtering them all."

Sam nodded slowly. "But since you're low on grace, you had to do it the old fashioned way. With wood." The archangel smirked: "Don't let anybody ever tell you, you're just a pretty face. Sam stood up from his chair and looked down at Gabe: "All right. Anyway, if there are only three, uh- gods, monsters, whatever-" he walked over to Gabriel suitcase with the swords and opened it "how come there are four swords?" "Oh, that top one? That is for the man with the plan, the architect of my torture and my own, personal public enemy number one. Their papa. Loki." His eyes were dark as he spoke out his name and a shudder ran down my spine, he was scary when he had that look on his face. "Hold on-" Dean was confused, "I thought Loki was you?" Gabriel then explained how he once saved Loki and therefore the god of mischief let him use his identity. We were silent for a while, then I asked: "And you saw Loki in Monte Carlo?" He looked at me, again with that thoughtful, curious look in his eyes: "Well, I needed someplace to hide." He then answered, shrugging his shoulders. “And he’d already helped me once.”

Dean nodded slowly then looked away and scoffed: "You know, none of this would've happened if you'd just stuck around and helped us fight Lucifer." Gabriel looked at him offended: "Hey, I did help you!" Yeah, but you didn't stick around. I thought and looked away for a second. But Gabriel was now in defence mode. "Casa Erotica?" Oh yeah, I remembered this. I cried. Good times. "You call that help?" Asked Sam, in disbelief. "I call that art." Gabriel shot back. "But, yes, without me, you two chuckleheads and that girl-" Really Gabe? Just "that girl"? Thanks. "-never would've known how to throw Lucifer back in the cage!" Dean was not impressed: "Yeah, but instead of giving us a hand, you ran and you just did it again when you ditched us in the bunker!" His voice grew louder every second and this time, I didn't try to calm him down, I agreed silently. "Alright, Dean-" Sam tried to stop him but Gabriel got in the way: "I have more important things to do than to join your little band of merry men." He spat back. "What you're doing. This. This is not important-" Dean started to argue back but Gabriel cut him off. "Every day, Asmodeus tortured me! Every day! He fed off my grace for years! He used me. He debased me. Until I was-" he broke off and calmed down a bit. Nobody dared to say something until he continued. "What I went through, you don't forgive. Everyone who had a hand in it will die. Get me?!" He asked aggressively.

Sam wanted to answer but now I had enough. "Of course we get you." I snapped and came closer. "Everyone of us gets you," I growled. "Dean went to hell for fucking 40 years. He was tortured every single day for 40 years! Every day! He got the mark of Cain and became a demon! Sam's soul was in the cage with Lucifer and Michael for 120 years, being tortured by the devil himself! He got possessed by an angel and had to watch him kill one of his friends! And I too, know torture, physical and mental. (I deliberately didn't go into detail here, it was too personal) We all lost so much over the years. Friends. Family. But we didn't give up. We didn't run. We kept going and saved the fucking world more than once. So would you stop thinking about yourself for one goddamn minute and get yourself together? We need you. The world needs you." I started screaming but ended with barely a whisper. Everyone stared at me with wide eyes. I scoffed and left the room, I needed alone time to get my feelings under control.

After I left, Sam and Dean stared at Gabriel, waiting for him to say something. After a few minutes of complete silence, he looked up. "I guess-" he cleared his throat "I guess she's right.. I'm sorry guys." He just seemed tired now. Neither Sam nor Dean answered, but their gazes softened a little bit. "Okayyy awkward-" Gabriel tried to find back to his usual, unbothered self. "Can you at least tell me who that girl was who just shouted at me? I feel like I know her but I can't put my finger on it.." That was the wrong thing to say. "You don't remember her?" Dean growled and glared at him murderously. "Should I?" Gabe raised an eyebrow, more confused than scared. "Angel? The girl who lives with us in the bunker? The half nymph?" Sam tried to jolt his memory. Gabriel's eyes widened in shock: "That was her? That was my Angel?!" "She's not your Angel! And she never will be, not after what you put her through." Snapped Dean and stabbed him with his gaze. "What I put her through? I-I didn't do anything to her!" Gabriel exclaimed, truly shocked by the accusation.

Sam sighed: "You died. She never recovered from that. She didn't eat properly for weeks. She didn't go out. She cried every night. Gabriel, that girl loves you with every cell of her body and after she learned that you went to Monte Carlo to "shack up with porn stars".. well it hurt her almost worse than the fact that you let her in the dark about you being alive." Gabriel's head dropped to the ground. "I was just trying to protect her.." He looked up to the boys: "You have to believe me! I never meant to hurt her! I love her!" His eyes were desperate and the brothers knew he was telling the truth. "Alright." Sam finally sighed. "But you need to tell her that." He said with a serious face and unlocked the handcuffs that kept the archangel in check. "Woah- you're just gonna let him go?" Dean objected, not happy with his younger brother. Sam sighed. "Dean.." Dean just rolled his eyes and raised his hands: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go talk to her." Though it was clear that he wasn't exactly happy about that. Gabriel sighed in relief and stood up. "Thank you, I'll be back." He walked to the door and froze. "Uhm... Guys?" Sam and Dean looked at each other alerted and rushed to see what Gabriel had discovered. In front of the door lay a strand of my hair, a lollipop and a piece of paper saying 'catch me if you can'. "What the hell..?" Dean asked, looking at Gabriel for an explanation. Gabe sighed and picked up the lollipop. "Loki." He said with a dark look in his eyes. Sam looked at him horrified while Dean slammed him against the wall, furiously. "So you're saying that because of your stupid little revenge plans, a Norse god captured Angel?" "Dean, we don't have time for this! We have to get her back!" He said urgently and Dean reluctantly let the archangel go. "Okay, Gabriel, do you have any idea where Loki might be?" Asked Sam, trying to stay calm and focus.

You're probably wondering how I got into this situation, well, lemme tell ya. As you might remember I left the room after I was done shouting at Gabriel. I planned to go for a walk to cool off a little and to get a grip on my emotions, but then someone knocked me out with a baseball bat. (That was quite painful.) When I woke up again I was in a luxurious suite, apparently a penthouse, I looked around in confusion and noticed a guy standing by the window, his back turned to me. Apparently, he sensed that I was awake and turned to me, smiling, a lollipop in his hand. I gasped as I saw his face: "Gabriel?!" Then the rational part of my brain kicked in: "No you're not Gabriel, you are- are you Loki?" The dude looking like Gabriel smiled and nodded appreciatively: "Smart girl." I probably should be terrified, held captive by the god of mischief, but I was actually delighted, I always had a thing for Norse mythology.

"Amazing!" I exclaimed, causing Loki to raise his eyebrows, visible confused, apparently not the reaction he had expected. "Excuse me?" "Actually, I'm a fan." I grinned at him and spend the following minutes discussing Norse mythology with Loki, a dream come true. But suddenly we heard noises from outside the door and Loki sighed. "I'm afraid I might have to kill you soon, although I really do like you." I nodded solemnly: "You need to pressure Sam and Dean, eh?" I guessed. "That's okay, I understand." My reaction to someone telling me that they would kill me might seem a little odd but frankly, I didn't care if I would live or die, plus I was pretty sure that even Loki couldn't defeat Sam and Dean. "You sure are something, I understand why he likes you so much." The god murmured, watching me thoughtfully. "He?" I asked in confusion, but Loki didn't get to answer, as the door burst open and the Winchesters, lead by Gabriel, stormed into the room.

I was mildly surprised to see him, but then again, he wanted his revenge so it made sense. "Ahh Gabriel, glad you decided to show up," Loki exclaimed, greeting the archangel like an old friend. "And you brought your friends, how nice of you." He chuckled and eyed the Winchesters in amusement. "What do you want, Loki?" He growled, a wooden sword in his hand. The god's face turned hard and he pulled a knife, holding it to my throat. "I'm gonna see you suffer and then I will kill you." Now I was confused, why was he threatening Gabriel with my death? "Don't bother, Gabriel won't care about my death. You would piss of Sam and Dean tho, and believe me- you don't want that." I said calm and collected, not caring about the cold knife at my throat. I did not expect Gabriel's reaction to Loki's words tho: "Don't you fucking dare killing her!" He growled and took a step closer to us. "Ah-ah, be careful!" Loki said in a cheerful voice and increased the pressure on my throat, causing it to cut into my skin and I felt a small rinsal of blood running down my throat, Gabriel immediately froze, watching me with wide, anxious eyes.

Surprised I realized that he actually cared about me, at least enough to not want me dead. "You must know, that Gabriel here cares about you quite a lot," Loki said, his face close to my ear. He smirked at Gabriel and the Winchesters provocative. "He wouldn't shut up about you." I looked at Gabriel, eyes wide with disbelief. "He does?" Gabriel smiled at me weakly but didn't respond. "Oh yes, of course." Loki laughed delighted and stepped away from me again. He was about to say something but before he could he was attacked by Dean, who had sneaked up from behind. Then Gabriel appeared in front of him, stabbing the wooden sword into his heart before he could even react. Meanwhile, Sam freed me from the ropes that strapped me to the chair, then he hugged me tightly. After he released me, Dean pulled me into a hug, relieved I was still alive and well. "Alright let's go." He finally said and let me go. I nodded but looked down on Loki's body one last time. "I actually liked him." I sighed and left the room, following Sam and Dean. Gabriel followed after me and it took all my strength to not look back at him. I was really confused about what Loki had told me and how Gabriel behaved. What did all that mean?

Sam and Dean were waiting at the car and I was about to join them when Gabriel held me back. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked, with unusual seriousness. "Uh- sure." I nodded, not knowing how I should act in front of him. He pulled me out of Sam and Dean's sight and took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry I left you. That I didn't tell you I'm alive. But I was- I was just trying to protect you! If Lucifer found out about my feelings for you, he would've hurt you to control me and I couldn't let that happen." He sighed and looked at me regretfully. "I thought of you all the time. Even with the porn stars when I did- uh.. things.. with them." I cringed, too much information. Then I sighed and looked up to him, about to say something but he was faster: "I love you Angel and I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me!" He pleaded while I was caught off guard by his sincerity. "I- I believe you." I finally said and I could see him relax. "And I love you too," I added and realized it was true as soon as I said it. I could see Gabriel's eyes light up with joy and he leaned forward to kiss me when we heard someone clearing his throat in a very angry way. Simultaneously we turned around and saw Dean looking at us with his arms folded across his chest: "Are we ready to go?" He asked and then looked at Gabriel: "Are you coming?" Gabriel straightened himself and nodded: "Yes, I'm gonna help you safe the world. And your mum and Jack." "Great. Let's go." Was his only reaction. Then he took my arm and pulled me gently away from Gabriel and towards the car. The archangel just rolled his eyes at Dean and then followed us.

Nearly immediately after Gabriel sat down next to me I fell asleep against his shoulder, it was an exhausting day. When Dean noticed how close we were, he deliberately made a swerve, that caused me to glide away from Gabriel and now leaned against the window, still sleeping tho. "Dean-" Sam sighed and shook his head. Gabriel glared at Dean in annoyance but decided to let it go. Dean just grinned and drove steadily towards the bunker.

[tastelikesleepdeprivation]

Domestic Human!Jack Headcanons featuring his three dads:

-Sam : no dessert after dinner, it will rot your teeth and we don’t have dental insurance because, legally, Dean and I are dead and Cas isn’t human so he can’t have insurance

-Cas: *sneaks Jack a cookie under the table during dinner, winks*

-Jack, with tears in his eyes, “thank,,”

Jack sneaking back into the bunker:

-Cas sitting in a chair and turns the lamp on: “where have you been?”

-Jack: “uhh with Dean”

-Dean, sitting in a chair next to Cas, turning on another lamp: “wanna try that again”

-Jack: “uhh with,, Sam?”

-Sam, in another chair next to Dean, turning on another lmap: “wanna try that AGAIN?”

-Jack likes it best when Dean cooks cause Cas can’t taste anything but “particles” so it’s always bland and Sam just can’t cook but Dean makes the best burgers Jack has ever tasted

-Jack sometimes has nightmares about Lucifer but if it’s a really bad one it’s about Dean, Cas, and Sam dying while Jack is standing by, unable to do anything cause he doesn’t have his powers and he wakes up panting and in a cold sweat with Cas right by his side because Cas doesn’t need sleep and will always be there to make sure to wake up Jack and comfort him during his night terrors

-Sam introduces Jack to books and tears up when Jack gets super excited about them because finally someone else who reads (not countering the literal one book Dean has read) and his favorite thing is sitting by Jacks bed side while reading The Wizard of Oz cause Sam told Jack all about their badass friend Charlie and her girlfriend Dorothy who saved all of them and Jack loves hearing about this apparently very real magical world

-Jack is actually really observant for his young age so when he sees Dean shuffling into the kitchen, scratching at his two week old beard with bags under his red rimmed eyes from fitful rest he announces a vacation day which Dean originally objects to but when Jack gets Cas and Sam on board he caves and so Dean hops in Baby with Sam to his right, Jack behind him and Cas behind Sam and they just drive. Dean puts on some classic Rock and Roll to “culture the kid right, Sammy” and they stop at some greasy diner and Dean laughs over his burger while Sam grumbles into his salad, Cas flashes his gummy smile and Jack hides his grin behind his drink and looks at his family and just living in the happiness he helped create and is a part of

-Dean got to be a father twice before technically but it never really felt like this. Never really felt like anything with Emma and while he got to be with Ben for a couple months it never felt permant, not like this, not like with Jack. So Dean cherishes every small moment he gets to teach and pass on something to Jack, whether it be through how to rile up Sam with a quick joke, or how to correctly wash and fold Cas’ trench coat, or do some work on Baby. Teach him something that doesn’t involve killing or hunting. Something normal, something a normal father would pass onto his son

-One of Jacks favorite occurrences between jobs is when Dean would cook all of them dinner and he would be wearing the apron Sam got for him as a joke (but secretly loves) and Dean would put on some music and would loudly sing along, shouting the lyrics while wildly waving the spatula in the air.

-Sometimes, Jack would pretend to be asleep when he would hear footsteps outside his door because he knew that Cas always comes and checks on him after he goes to bed. Cas carefully cracks open the door, and while Jack pretends to be asleep, Cas will put a gentle hand in his hair and place a chaste kiss on his forehead and Jack would wait until Cas pulls the door closed to smile into his covers

-Shopping with Sam was Jacks favorite. Sam usually did the shopping because Cas would forget the human stuff like tooth paste and toilet paper and Dean would buy pie instead of vegetables because he “forgot ‘em, sorry Sammy” so Sam always did the grocery shopping and would let Jack tag along, letting him get ONE candy (he always got nougat)

-Watching marathons with Dean is one of Jacks favorite passtimes because while Dean was a closeted chick flick watcher, Jack was an out and proud chick flick fanatic so both boys would sneak away for a night every so often when a new movie finally came out on Netflix

-One of Jacks favorite memories was when everyone went grocery shopping together when Jack was first turned human to find out what kind of foods he liked so he could have it available at the bunker, Dean grabbed the chips and junk food for him to try while Sam grabbed the fruits and vegetables, Cas gave his opinion now and then about what he rememberd from when he was human, especially his like of pb&js.

-Jack would go through bouts of insomnia to keep away the nightmares and this was the beginning of his midnight trips to the kitchen for snacks where he was joined sometimes by Sam but mostly Castiel which he preferred cause they would stay up late talking about the beginning of the universe and the thousands of years Cas has lived and what he has seen.

-When he turns One on May 18th, Dean, Sam, and Castiel decide to throw him a party, in their own way of course. Dean bakes the cake which is chocolate and has writing in icing on the top which says “baby’s first birthday” and they have streamers from toilet paper and first-aid gauze hung up all over the bunker. Sam gets him a new flannel so that he “can officially become part of the team” and a new book called The Great Gatsby which he can’t wait to start. Cas gets him a mixtape he made from all the songs he noticed Jack bobbing his head to when Dean would blast the radio. And Dean. Dean gets him a necklace. Not like the one Dean had, he told Jack all about the one Sam gave to him. But a necklace just for him that had the angels symbol for protection hand carved into the wood

-Sam is the first one to call Jack son to his face. Sam had just finished the last chapter of The Great Gatsby and Jack was crying because he thought that Gatsby didn’t deserve that kind of end to his life. Sam had closed the book, set it on the bedside table, wiped the tears from Jacks face, kissed him on the forehead and said “ it’s alright son, his story isn’t over, just moved to a new place”

-Cas first called him son on the night of one of Jacks worst night terrors. Jack heard screaming and woke up in a cold sweat to Cas at his side holding him close and whispering “I’m here, Jack, I’m here son, it was only a dream, I’m here” in his ear. Only until the screaming in his ears stopped did he realize it was coming from him and it wasn’t until he had fallen asleep on Cas’ shoulder from exhaustion and woken up the next morning to feel Cas still running his fingers through his hair did he notice that Cas called him son

-Sam and Cas had called Jack son early on and while Dean knew in his head and in his heart that Jack was his son he couldn’t say it to him. Experience and pain had taught him that once he said it, it would be real and so would the pain he will feel if, when, Jack gets hurt or killed. So he avoided it, calling him kid, kiddo, sport, and every other dumb nickname under the sun but still not that word until one hunt. It was supposed to be a normal job (famous last words, Winchester) until it went sideways and the werewolf got a claw into and up Jacks stomach. Only when Dean had shot the bastard in the chest until his gun was clicking empty did Dean fall to his knees next to Jack, holding his hands over the kids wound shouting at Sam to “hurry up and get the damn car!” Only when he looked at Jacks closed eyes and the shallow rise and fall of his chest and sees his pale face did he whisper for only Jacks ears “come on son, hold on. You gotta stay with me Jack, you gotta wake up son, you gotta wake up, you have to wake up”

-When Jacks hair starts curling around his ears does Sam decide to give him a haircut. Well, it was Sam at first until Dean grabbed the scissors and hip checked his brother out of the way saying “with your mane, I’m surprised you even noticed Jacks hair getting long. Move over, Sammy, I cut your hair for twelve years I’ll cut the kids hair”

-it’s Fourth of July and Dean insists on taking Jack to see the fireworks. One of Deans best memories is of him and Sammy shooting them off in some abandoned parking lot decades ago so he thought that he could give Jack a memory just as precious. Sam packs a picnic with some snacks and Castiel stuffs the impala with blankets. They drive out to the nearest town and set up shop in front of a closed grocery store across from the park where the towns show was set up to go off. Castiel hadn’t seen fireworks up close before so he was also excited. Jack was practically bouncing in his seat asking “ are they really made from fire?? How do they work??” And Sam and Dean would laugh and tell him they were really loud and colorful. When the fireworks officially started, Jack was terrified. It was so loud and he could feel the reverberations in his chest, they would come in no random order so he was suprised by the POPS. But after a while he was soon enraptured by the colors. Cas was just as enchanted by the way they would appear one moment and be gone the next. Jack and Cas loved the show so much they asked when the next one was and both were just as confused when Sam and Dean just laughed saying not until New Years

-Since they can’t exactly call a cleaning service to come and mop their underground bunker filled with weapons and proof of the supernatural, Sam established a chores list. Some chores depended on the day, like if Dean cooked he didn’t have to do the dishes but every person was given a chore, no matter what. Dean always grumbled but everyone knew he preferred a clean bunker. Cas would simply nod and go about his work, sometimes humming whilst doing so. Jack was just glad he had something to do that was of use to his family. And ironically, Sam was the one who forgot to do his chores most often

-whenever Jack manages to join the older three men on a hunt he always gets stuck in the back seat of the impala. Dean always drives, Sam always gets shotgun, Cas always sits behind Sam and Jack sits behind Dean. He doesn’t mind that much because on the truly long rides, the cross country rides, Cas lets him put his feet in his lap so he can lean against the door or sometimes he puts his head in Cas’ lap while Cas runs his fingers through his hair, falling asleep to the sound of the impalas engine rumbling, the quiet humming of the radio, and the muffled rapping of Deans thumbs on the steering wheel.

-Now that Jack is fully human, his body starts being fully human too which involves shaving. Sam pointed out his stubble first and offered to pick up razors and shaving cream next time he went to the store. Jacks first attempt at shaving began and ended quickly as he had no idea what to do, so he went to Cas. Cas,, tried. Being an angel and his vessel remaining the same he had no reason to shave (besides the one time after purgatory which still doesn’t make any sense) but he doesn’t know how to manually shave, just, angel shave. And that’s how Dean finds them later, in the bathroom both with their faces covered in shaving cream and staring at the razor like it would come alive and attack them. Dean chuckled but refrained from making a joke and helped to teach both boy and angel how to shave.

-Cas’ signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks shoulder. He’ll just hold his hand there on Jacks shoulder for a couple seconds longer than necessary, pat twice and then walk away. Sams signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks head or the back of his neck. Most of the time it’s a solid weight, a comforting weight but sometimes it will be a playful weight, a ‘you did something good and this is how I show it’ weight. Deans signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks back, right inbetween his shoulder blades. Most of the time it’s more of a slap than a pat but when it really counts, when Jack yearns for a physical sign of a reassurance, Dean always seems to know and just holds his hand steady

[crashdevlin]

Deserving

Author’s Note: Written for @georgialouisea‘s 2K Quote Challenge. I picked the FRIENDS quote ‘We were on a break!’. This was meant to be a light, funny fic and it just... I’m so sorry for the amount of angst in this fic... except, you know... it’s what I’m good at. No gifs are mine. Oh, and as angels are genderless, I use the pronouns appropriate to their vessel. SPOILERS FOR SEASON 14!

Pairing(s): Dean x Plus-sized Reader

Summary: y/n and Dean have been together for years, but they’ve been arguing nonstop since a couple weeks after Dean came back. 

Word Count: 4512

Story Warnings: so much angst it’s not even okay, kinda cheating, breakups, scars, self-esteem issues, Michael!Dean, character death (events of 14x08), the events of 14x09...

You stomped after Dean, fury on your face as the two of you entered the library of the Bunker. Castiel looked up, instantly uncomfortable with his friends’ human drama. The two of you had been fighting for three days straight, Cas wasn't sure about what, and he was certain that you’d broken off your relationship the night before, but here you were, fighting again.

“Cas, you’ve got a perfect memory,” Dean said, coming to a stop in front of the angel, whose eyes went wide. “What was the last thing y/n said before she threw her hands up like a toddler and stomped out of here last night?”

Castiel looked between the hunters. “Uh…”

“I’m a toddler?! At least I didn’t run to my best friend for help justifying-”

“That’s ‘cause you’re a bitch and you don’t have any friends.”

“I have friends!”

“Name one… and Sam and the hunters you talk to online don’t count.”

“Why not? They’re real people who like me so-”

“Cas! Come on,” Dean called out as the angel started to slink away.

Cas sighed and turned back to them. “I believe her words were… ‘Fuck you, Dean. If you want a break, we’re on one’.”

“Ha! See?” Dean turned to you. “We were on a break!”

“Dean, I don’t think-” Cas started as your mouth turned down in anger and disgust.

“You know what? Fine, Ross, we were on a break, so what you did wasn’t cheating.” Dean’s look of victory was cut short as you continued. “It was just a terrible, shitty thing to do to me.”

“Oh, come-”

“You couldn’t wait six fuckin’ hours for me to calm down, cool off and come home? No, you had to go pick up some bar skank and take her home to-”

“I was drunk!” Dean defended, throwing his hands up.

“So was I! But I managed to make it home without scratch marks down my back! Why didn’t you?!”

“Oh, the only reason you didn’t get fucked was because men don’t generally go to bars to pick up scarred-up fat chicks,” Dean spat out, nastily.

And just like that the fight was over, all anger being washed out of you by a wave of pain as Dean stabbed both of your weak points with one sentence. You blinked at Dean, your breath frozen in your lungs. You could see the moment he realized he’d gone too far, but you just looked away. “Oh. Okay. I…” You nodded, before rushing past Cas and running up the spiral staircase.

“y/n-” Dean called, but he was met with the sound of the Bunker door creaking closed. He wished you would have yelled at him, screamed, shouted, hit him, hurt him… fuck, he wouldn’t have been too upset if you shot him after that comment, that would’ve meant you were pissed. But you weren’t pissed. You were hurt and it was on him.

“Dean. Go after her,” Cas demanded.

Dean took a deep breath and shook his head. “No, man. Not after that. Gotta give her time to-” He rubbed his fingers over his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “-get pissed off about it.”

“And if she doesn’t ‘get pissed off’?” Cas asked, his words stilted. “If she stays depressed and in pain? What then, Dean?”

Dean looked down. “Then, at least the fight’s over.”

“As well as your relationship.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was over the moment I stuck my dick in that hourglass blond from the roadhouse on Route 32.”

“Why?” Castiel shook his head. “Why would you have sex with someone other than y/n?”

Dean licked his lips and walked over to the whiskey in the crystal bottle. “Because, Cas… it’s…” He picked up the bottle and filled a crystal tumbler. “I just… when I imagined my life… when I imagined comin’ up on forty and settling down with just one woman… it wasn’t her.”

Cas’ eyebrows tucked together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“She’s just… I figured if I… if I got serious with a chick, it’d be with a normal one. One like Cassie, like Lisa. Y/n is… she’s hard and she’s broken and she’s the meanest bitch I’ve ever laid eyes on and that’s… I don’t think that’s what I want, Cas.”

“You did this… on purpose?”

Dean took a drink and shook his head. “No. No, I… I started the fight on purpose, but… I… didn’t mean to…”

“Yes, you did.” Castiel tilted his head in confusion, searching Dean's thoughts. “You went out and found a woman who embodies every trait y/n confided that she wishes she had, and you had sex with that woman just to hurt y/n. Dean… why didn't you just…”

“Break up with my brother's best friend for no reason? I still… I don't know. I mean, I wanted it over but I also didn't want to end it.”

“Yeah, I mean, I can, but- Are you sure, y/n?” Sam walked in, anger-tinged worry on his face as he held his cell phone to his ear. “No, I just- maybe after you calm down and think about-” He sighed and nodded. “Yeah, okay. I'll box it up. Text me the address. Yeah, you, too. Be careful.”

Sam stared at Dean for a moment after he clicked the phone off, anger radiating from him. “Her scars, Dean? The one thing she's more self-conscious about than her weight, which you also slammed her on! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Why don't you ask Cas? He seems to be an expert in why I do the things I do,” Dean responded, walking away toward his bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean set his drink on top of the dresser and sighed as he picked up a picture that had never found its way into a picture frame. A Polaroid of him and y/n at the South Dakota State Fair a year before. He ran his thumb over the scar on her cheek. He’d loved her scars when he first fell for her. They were badges of strength, proof that she could survive, that she could hack it in the Life. Now, they were a harsh reminder of bad times.

Sam pushed his door opened and walked in with an empty file box under his arm. “Get out,” he demanded.

“Excuse you? This is my room.” Dean set the picture down and picked up his drink.

“Yeah, well, I’m packin’ up y/n’s stuff for her, so get out or stay out out of my way.” Sam started to round the room as Dean sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, legs stretched out as he watched his brother. Sam picked up knives and hair ties, pens and notebooks and her hunter journal from the small desk. He slammed the box down on the desk and turned to Dean. “You know there are better ways you could’ve done this, Dean.”

Dean looked up at him, tiredly. “Oh, really?”

“Yes! A hundred better ways that wouldn’t leave her destroyed like this.”

“First, she’ll be fine. She’s strong as fuck.” Dean leaned forward, kicking his feet over the side of his bed, which still smelled like y/n. “Second, it had to be this way. Because this way, she’s gone and she’s not coming back. It’s over this way.” Sam shook his head in disbelief. “If she’d stuck around to be your bestie or Cas and Jack’s hunting partner… I know me, Sam, I’da ended up in bed with her again and then I’d have to deal with the morning after. It’s better if she’s just gone.”

“When the hell did you decide you didn’t want her, anymore? Because last I checked, you were over the moon for her.”

Dean looked at the glass of whiskey. “I don’t know, Sam, it’s just… ever since I’ve been back-”

“If you blame this on Michael, I swear I’m gonna punch you. This isn’t-”

“Do you know what he did to her?” Dean snapped. Sam looked away, his vision resting on the hunter journal in the box. He knew well the lines of her newest scars, the ones that covered the landscape of her body; the scars that were worse than the werewolf claws across her right cheek that had made her feel ugly for five years or the one across her left shin that kept her from wearing shorts. Sam knew her new scars, all created by a karambit held by Michael in Dean’s hands. Michael had left her barely alive, sent her back to the Bunker, a clear message not to try to find him, or stop him. “That she survived that… that she could still look me in my face after that… but she still loved me after that.”

“You didn’t do it, Dean. Michael did.”

“And it was my fault! My body, my face, my dumbass plan to save you and Jack. How could she not hold any grudge? How could she love me? I mean, that kind love… I don’t deserve that, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes snapped to his brother’s. “Are you telling me that you just crushed y/n’s heart because you think you don’t deserve the unconditional love she’s freely offered from the moment she met you?” Dean rolled his eyes and took a drink. “You’re an idiot. You are the dumbest man in the history of dumb men. You just fucked away the greatest thing God ever gave you because you thought you didn’t deserve her?”

Sam sighed loudly and turned back around to continue packing. “And, of course, you didn’t just fuck yourself out of y/n, you fucked me, too. You fucked over Jack. ‘cause losing one mom wasn’t bad enough, right?”

Dean set his drink down on the dresser and stood, pulling Baby’s keys out of his pocket and leaving his room without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry, buddy. I know I should have said ‘goodbye’.” You’d willed yourself to stop crying long enough to answer one of Jack’s phone calls. “It all just… it happened so fast, Jack.”

“But, are you coming back?”

You shook your head, your throat clenching as you tried to avoid another wave of tears. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but-”

“But I wanted to show you what I learned on YouTube. I-”

“I’m sorry. Jack, I’m sorry.”

“I just don’t understand why you had to leave. Don’t you like it here?”

“O-of course, I do, but… things are complicated.” How do you explain a catastrophic breakup to a toddler? “I can’t be there, buddy. I wish I could, but… you’re better off with the guys anyway. They can help you better than me. Look, uh, can you… can you tell Dean that I… sent him a package? It’ll be at the post office in… uh, I think three days.”

“Okay.”

“I, uh, I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

“You know you can call me if you ever need anything, right?”

“Yeah. Goodbye, y/n.”

You stared at the ceiling of the motel room you’d grabbed after running from the bunker. How quickly your entire life had changed. A week ago, you were expecting to spend the rest of your life in Lebanon. Three months ago, you were half-dead in a hospital bed, having been almost destroyed by the archangel wearing the man you loved. You had nightmares of glowing blue eyes, of a curved blade tearing through your skin and the muscle under it, of him healing you just enough to keep you from dying of blood loss or shock.

You held on in hopes that Dean would come back some day, and he had. Dean came back and now? Now you were wishing Michael had just let you die in that hotel you tracked him down in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean stared at the box sitting on the bench of the Impala for at least fifteen minutes, trying to decide whether he should open it. He knew what it was. Things he’d left in y/n’s car, things he’d given her that she didn’t want anymore, maybe a nasty note. He sighed and pulled out his pocket knife, running the blade across the tape and opening the flaps. He bit his bottom lip as he pulled out a Led Zeppelin cassette, followed by an AC/DC band tee, a switchblade he was sure he’d lost years ago, his favorite pair of vice-grip pliers, and the simple heart necklace he’d given her for her birthday the year before.

Under all of that was the other necklace she always wore, the white gold chain with the thick sterling silver band that used to reside on Dean’s right hand. It was never anything special until she picked it up from his bedside table and claimed it as her own. It was nothing more than a bottle opener to him until she slipped it on that chain, until he saw her kissing it before she slipped it into her t-shirt every day.

There was no note. There was nothing she needed to say, and that was good. That meant she was done. Dean slipped the ring off of the chain and slid it onto his right ring finger, tossing everything into the box before pulling away from the Lebanon Post Office.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean ‘Jack’s dying’?” you asked, panic settling in your chest.

“When Lucifer took his grace-” Sam started.

“How long?” you demanded.

“Rowena thinks not long. Couple hours, maybe.”

“No. How long has he been sick? Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t you?”

“He was hiding it. He had a cough, but… we didn’t know.” Sam was silent for a minute. “Can you get here?”

“I’m in Orlando, Sam.” Your voice broke as you continued. “I’m nah-ot gonna get there in time.”

“Can you try?”

“Of course, I’ll try.”

You were absolutely exhausted by the time you made it to the Bunker. You hadn’t slept in three days and you were emotionally unprepared for Jack to be dead. He was a baby! How could he be dead? Sam greeted you in the garage, Jack right behind him. The nephil didn’t even look slightly off. “We saved him,” Sam said, noticing your look of confusion.

Jack rushed forward, wrapping his arms around you and you crumbled. Tears streamed down your face as you wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in the boy’s chest. “It’s okay, y/n. I’m okay.”

“Hey, what’s-” Dean’s voice was just audible over your sobs and it made you stiffen in Jack’s arms. “Oh. You called her?”

“Yeah, Dean. She deserved to be here,” Sam answered.

“Yeah, okay, well, he’s not dead anymore, so…”

“So, what, Dean?” Jack asked, pulling back to look at Dean. You didn’t. You looked at your feet. “She can’t leave. She just got here.”

“And she drove from Orlando in one go, Dean. She needs to rest,” Sam defended.

“It’s fine. I’ll just… the motel down the-”

“No!” Sam and Jack both shouted.

You shook your head. “Like I said, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t think you should even be driving, right now. You look like a stiff breeze would knock you over,” Sam said, putting a large hand on your shoulder. “Come on, we’ll get you set up in one of the extra rooms. You can at least get some sleep before Dean chases you away again.”

Dean growled and stomped out of the garage. “Why is Dean angry?” Jack asked.

“He kinda hates me, Jack. Don’t worry. I’m not gonna let anything taint the fact that my nephil buddy is alive and thriving.”

“How could he hate you?” Jack asked, curiously.

“He-” Sam started but shook his head. “Let’s just get you in bed, huh?”

“What happened to all the, uh, Apocalypse World folks?” you asked, tiredly, leaning into Sam’s embrace.

“Oh, they’re all out hunting. Out in the world, making things better. We got them in the habit of the check-ins and wearing the GoPros so… they don’t need to be here,” Sam answered.

“GoPros was a good idea, Sam,” you muttered as he led you into a nondescript room.

“What do you want for breakfast when you wake up, huh?” Sam asked as you dropped to the bed.

“We’ve got Krunch Cookie Crunch,” Jack offered with a smile.

“That stuff’ll rot your teeth,” Sam said, pulling your tennis shoes off and yanking the blanket back to let you under the thin brown fabric.

“Scrambled eggs. No teeth rot there,” you answered.

“Unless you cover them in ketchup,” Sam said, knowingly.

“Don’t reveal my secrets, Sam.”

He scoffed and stood as you snuggled into the pillow, heavy eyes falling closed and sleep dragging you down quickly.

~~~~~~~

“I told you that she needs to not be here, Sam.”

“Just because you can’t trust yourself to keep it in your fuckin’ pants when it comes to y/n, that doesn’t mean you have to put her in danger by sending her away when she’s half-dead.”

“You’re the one who didn’t call her and tell her that Lily Sunder was bringing Jack back from the dead. She wouldn’t have done that 24-hour drive all at once if you’d told her Jack was fine.”

“I’m sorry, Dean, I got distracted by Jack dying and coming back.”

“Oh, bullshit! You wanted her here.”

“So? We miss her, Dean,” Sam argued, before he sighed. “And we’re about to go against Michael. Don’t you think she deserves to have the option to participate?” Dean opened his mouth to argue that y/n shouldn’t be anywhere near Michael, but Sam continued. “He tortured her, Dean, which is worse than using your body and drowning you. She deserves to-”

“No the fuck she doesn’t! She doesn’t need to be anywhere near Michael, Sam. You can’t put her in that building with him.”

“Oh, but it’s fine for the rest of us? It’s fine for Garth? Dean, if she wants to go, none of us can stop her.”

Dean shook his head. “I hate this,” he said, stomping off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what do you think?” Castiel asked, licking his chapped lips as you pushed eggs around your plate with your fork.

You didn’t know what to think. Part of you really wanted to be there when Michael got what was coming to him. Part of you wanted to see an archangel’s eyes blow out with light, but the bigger part of you wanted to never be around Michael again. “I-I don’t know, Cas. Um… If you need me, I’m willing, but…” You swallowed to clear your suddenly dry throat, reaching out to pick up your coffee mug. “I just…”

“I understand.” Cas nodded. “Will you come to Kansas City? You don’t have to go against Michael, but I think it would be best for you to… to be there.”

You nodded. “Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t leave you guys hanging.”

Cas gave a tight smile. “Thank you. Jack is a lot happier when you’re here.”

“Dean’s not,” you responded, standing to toss the rest of your scrambled eggs in the trash.

The angel sighed, heavily. “Dean is complicated.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Cas.” You walked to the sink, grabbing a sponge and cleaning the plate. “You know I can’t stay, right? I’m so happy that Jack’s okay and I… I, obviously, can be around Dean now without breaking down, but… I can’t stay around him not for very long, anyway. It’s too much.”

“You’re still in love?”

You bit your lip, grabbing a dishrag and wiping the plate. “Of course. He could never hurt me enough to make me stop.”

“Y/n…”

“It’s not a big deal.” You set the plate on the counter and turned to him. “I always knew I wasn't good enough for him, that someday… someday he'd realize that… someday he'd remember that he's Dean Winchester and that he could have almost any woman in the world.” A little shuddering sigh escaped you as you avoided looking at Cas. “Just wish he would've cast me out before Michael got his hands on me. I'd have far fewer scars to show if he had.”

You ran your hands across your shoulder and down. You'd counted them, once. Well, not just once. You'd actually counted them several times, sitting in front of a floor-length mirror with a compact in your hand, making sure that the number came out the same every time. Three-hundred and thirty-three cuts. Ignoring the old scars, just counting the ones Michael tore into your flesh over the two days he had you, there were three hundred and thirty-three of them; A divine number.

Cas had tried, on more than one occasion when you first got out of the hospital, to heal the scars. Michael had done something to you that prevented Cas’ grace from touching you, a ‘force field’ as Jack had dubbed it. You were stuck with the scars.

You cleared your throat and turned away. “Anyway, I’ll head to Kansas City, get a bit of an advance recon going. You can call me when you… when you get there.”

“You shouldn’t go alone.”

“I really should.” You stepped forward, wrapped your arms around him, before running for your car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The copper taste of blood in your mouth pulled you out of the unconscious state you were in. “No,” was all you could say to the vamp that got the drop on you.

“Just let it happen, y/n,” a sharp-dressed, dark-skinned woman in clunky heels knelt down next to you. “You’ll be mine in a minute either way. It’ll go so much faster if you just let go.”

“Michael,” you groaned, trying to fight it as you could feel yourself turning.

“Do you remember what I said when I let you go, y/n?” Michael asked, her eyes glowing blue as she ran her hand over your mouth to clean the blood off of you. “I told you that I have no need of broken, human hunters. What I have need of is this… you, hungry.”

“I won’t,” you started to deny, shaking your head as everything started to get louder. Hyper-senses.

“You will. Pick her up. Take her to Hitomi Plaza… and get her someone to eat.”

You tried to resist. When they locked you in that office at Hitomi Plaza, you tried to find a way out. When they shoved that trembling businessman through the door and quickly closed it behind him, you tried to ignore the sound of his heart pounding, how the smell of him made your mouth water. You tried to keep away from him, but you were so hungry.

Michael appeared next to you as you dropped the man to the floor, disgust eating at you because of how satisfied you felt. She smiled. “Now, do you see? Every desire you’ve ever had, they pale in comparison to this one, and this desire is so easily sated.” You blinked as she cupped your chin in her hands. “You’re mine, now.”

You nodded, looking up into her eyes. Now that the hunger was gone, you could feel Michael’s grace flowing through you. You were Michael’s. “Good girl. Now, how about a treat?” You could feel grace pouring into your skin from her palms and when she pulled away smiling, you ran your hand over your right cheek. No raised tissue met your fingertips, the scars on your face gone. “Much more pleasing to the eye without those scars.”

“Thank you,” you whispered. “But wh-”

“Why?” Michael smirked. “Because I found you deserving. You proved your strength… here.” She pointed to one of the scars on your stomach. “I gave you three hundred and thirty-three cuts. You gave me tears and blood in return, vomit at one point, but you did not, not once, beg me to stop or to end your life. You are strong. But I don’t want a strong human, y/n.”

“You needed a monster.”

“Wanted,” Michael corrected, before continuing. “I knew you’d be here, in Kansas City. I knew one of my army would find you. I incentivized them to turn you instead of killing you like we’ll be doing with the other hunters. And now, when the boys arrive, you’ll be here to greet them with me.”

You nodded. Suddenly, all you wanted was to show the Winchesters the new you. You felt your fangs poke out of your gums again in your excitement. “Put your fangs away, dear. Don’t want to ruin the surprise, do we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You watched from the CCTV in the security room as Michael beat Castiel bloody, while Sam, Jack and Dean infiltrated the office in an attempt to catch Michael by surprise. Of course the archangel knew they were there and called to you with her grace, bidding you to join them. You walked into the penthouse office as Michael’s female vessel dropped to the ground. You could feel Michael reenter Dean and it made you smile. It was right. He was stronger in Dean, better.

Michael stepped forward a few steps to look out at the lights of the city.

“Dean?” Cas said, confused.

You couldn’t see their faces from behind them, but you could see their bodies go tense as Michael broke the spear in half. You smiled as Michael turned, eyes glowing brightly. “No,” Sam denied. Their hearts were pounding and you felt yourself getting hungry again just from the sound of it.

“Yeah.” Michael’s eyes faded to a dark green. “When I gave up Dean, you didn’t think to question it, to ask why? Dean was… resisting me. He was too attached to you, to all of you.” He beckoned you closer and you came around Jack’s right side as he continued speaking. “He wouldn’t stop squirming… to get out, get back. So I left...” You swiped the crystal tumbler off of the coffee table and handed it to him.

“...but not without leaving the door open…” He licked his lips. “...just a crack.”

“Y/n?” Jack questioned, eyes wide and confused.

“Oh, don’t worry about y/n. She was just the first in a long line of things I ruined for Dean.”

“Why wait?” Castiel asked.

“The same reason I scarred y/n; to break him. To crush and disappoint him so completely that, this time, he’ll be nice and quiet for a change-” He reached out and ran his hand across your cheek. “-buried. And he is. He’s gone.”

You licked your lips as he drank down the rest of the liquor in the glass. “And now, I have a whole army out there…” He spread his arms dramatically to show the scale of his city-wide attack plan before turning to you and winking. “...and here, waiting, ready for my command, ready… for this.”

Michael didn’t have to tell you what to do as he snapped his fingers and your fangs descended, ready to attack at the behest of your master, your savior, the only one who ever saw you as deserving of anything.

KITCHEN SINK TAGS @heyitscam99 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mrs-meghan-winchester @henrymorganme @lonely-skys

SUPERNATURAL TAGS @letsby @mrswhozeewhatsis @adoptdontshoppets @spnskinnyballs @deansenwackles

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

a 13x18 coda

The feather rests in his palm, insubstantial, black as night and ragged on the edges. Several barbs are missing, like on so many of his feathers these days. (Those few feathers that remain.) He runs his finger along the quill, feeling angelic melodies reverberate throughout his vessel. The music hasn’t faded, he thinks, unable to look away. At least I’ve still got that much.

He knows he should be thinking of other things. More important things. And he is--he’s thinking of Dean, and what he can do to fix things between them. When Dean said he shouldn’t have come back... In some ways, things have been easier since he came back from the Empty, but in others...in others, they just keep...missing. It’s a human puzzle, he knows, but he’s determined to find a way to solve it. The more immediate problem, of course, is finding Gabriel so they can open a rift and save Jack and Mary and Charlie. Maybe even Ketch, although he won’t be too troubled if that goes awry. Because saving his family, that’s what Dean wants, and that will heal something between them. It has to.

But part of Cas’s essence--most of it, if he’s honest--is fixated on this feather.

Gabriel has wings.

Not broken, useless wings. Gabriel can fly.

No. Flying is exhilarating, but this isn’t about flight. Not really. Cas has grown accustomed to more human forms of travel. It was the glory of those wings, the wholeness. When he saw Gabriel’s wings unfurl, Cas felt a stab of jealousy so visceral he had to brush a hand across his abdomen to make sure he wasn’t actually bleeding. It pained him to see, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his brother. Remembering when Gabriel looked down on Asmodeus, flashing both his grace and his fury, Cas thinks, Was I ever so grand? Or so proud? Did I ever inspire such awe?

A tiny voice in his mind answeres, Dean always sees the angel in you.

****

Walking past the kitchen Sam spies Cas slumped at the table, chin tucked to his chest. Cas’s back is to the door, and when Sam stops in the doorway neither of them react.

He looks tired, Sam thinks. I know he doesn’t sleep, but he needs something.  He carries too much. He blames himself for everything, and then Dean piles on…

He lets his thoughts trail off, not wanting to follow where they lead.

Leaving Cas alone in the kitchen--he doesn’t really feel like talking just now--Sam makes his way to the library. When in doubt, read a book, right?

He’s turned six pages without actually seeing a single word when he pushes the book away in frustration. Dean had been right, of course. They should have found a way to save some of the grace, just in case. But apparently they’d thought the rift would open up ten feet away from Mary and Jack and Dean would just pull them through, welcome to the happy ending. They’d never even considered multiple visits.

Sam stands, the words he’d spoken to Gabriel just hours earlier echoing in his head. No matter how many times I try to fight it, this is what I was put here to do. This is where I make the world a better place…

He’s got to do something.

He’s not going to find Gabriel in a book.

****

Dean crashes through his bedroom door and slams it shut behind him. He’s shaking, and he’s not sure if it’s rage or frustration or fear or just the after effects of a very intense day. He can’t get a grasp on the thoughts and emotions running through his head. He knows Charlie--his Charlie--is gone but he saw her today. He hates Ketch, but Ketch had his back today, even saved his life. Mom and Jack are just out of his grasp, and instead of comforting them he lashed out, blaming the two people he cares about most in the world.

And on top of all that, his shoulder hurts.

Cas could probably fix the shoulder problem, at least. But he had seen the pain in those blue eyes. That...that hurts worse than his shoulder.

“Doesn’t he get it?” Dean sinks onto the bed, scrubs at his hair in frustration. He takes a breath, trying to steady himself. After a few minutes of stillness, he speaks into the silence, his voice resolved.

“I just can’t...I won’t let him die again.”

****

Cas knows he is broken; the tattered feather in his hand is just the visible proof of something he’s felt for a long time. There’s probably no way to heal his wings, but he can maybe, eventually, fix the rest. And maybe…

...Maybe he doesn’t need the wings anymore.

(Dean always sees the angel in you.)

He pushes back from the table, chair clattering across the kitchen floor. A few minutes later, when he finds himself standing in front of Dean’s door, he hesitates. He knows Dean isn’t ready to talk yet, and he isn’t really either. But the time will come.

When Cas walks away, waiting on the floor by Dean’s bedroom door, rests a small, black feather.

* * * * * * * * *

Author’s note: I was thinking of this 12x23 coda I wrote when I wrote this. It’s maybe a companion piece? But it certainly works just fine on its own.

@bend-me-shape-me ..as always, thanks for letting me talk things out with you!! :)

[enemymine2000]

I’m not good at that whole meta thing. I’m more of an “Oh, my intuition tells me”-kinda gal. And sometimes these feelings are just to darn strong.

I can’t get over Gabriel. I mean, this whole supposedly sacrificed himself only to get trapped by Asmodeus to be milked for his grace for years thing only to then get free, get milked for his grace to get TFW into the AU, only to then sacrifice himself thing reeks funny.

Obviously I don’t have any supporting evidence, but from the moment we saw his scorched wing marks (again) I was like “Nah, that totally isn’t what it looks like”. And now with the new episode and Michael’s emphasize that in contrast to Gabriel he is the better one, I just feel that to be true.

(Longer headcanon behind the cut.)

So if Gabe isn’t sleeping in the Empty right now (Although also a nice thing to imagine, especially once he wakes up. If the entity was annoyed with Cas I can’t imagine what it would be like with Mr. Trickster himself.), he is out there somewhere. He pulled that trick already. more than once actually. The first time the boys met him, he created a simulacrum for them to stab. Then he created two simulacra to trick Lucifer into believing he stabbed the real one. Three times is the charm, isn’t it? And we had that whole arc with Gabe going after real Loki and his sons to emphasize his trickster witness protection thing.

So how did he pull it off, if he indeed did pull it off? Well, my best guess is that he did the switcheroo when he was allegedly extracting his grace in the privacy of Dean’s room. He couldn’t have pulled off a switch when already on the other side of the rift or Rowena would have seen him come back through it before anyone else. (And I don’t believe him to actually ever have entered the AU in the first place - Gabe was behaving way to weird there, as if he didn’t know how to react to things, which a simulacrum without the original there to observe and guide might struggle with.) So a switch in the bunker, when he shook off Cas with the hint about privacy.

When Gabe emerged, the amount of extracted grace was pityful. Okay, so Asmodeus had milked Gabe pretty bad just the day when Ketch decided to rescue him, because of course he did. An archangel needs to be “milked” pretty dry to not be dangerous. What the Prince of Hell not injected immediately into his veins, he kept in storage because still he needed to wait for the reserves to build up again for more. One vial went into the spell for the rift, that landed Dean and Ketch in the AU. The second one was consumed by Gabriel upon coming back to his senses. Looked like approximately the amount of grace that was left of Cas’, when he retrieved it from where Metatron had stashed it. So at the time Asmodeus came to the bunker, we are let to believe that Gabriel is about as powerful as Cas. Obviously not counting whatever amount of grace still needed to have been in him to begin with, because as I said Asmodeus had “milked” him bad, but he had not drained him completely. He would only have kept his levels low enough to not be a danger to him when he first caught him. The rest insurance of Gabriel’s compliance he achieved with continued torture. So I guess Gabriel is slightly less than at regular angel strength when he deals the death blow to Asmodeus. That’s admittedly weak for an archangel, who is used to creating whole worlds at the snap of his fingers. But he is not Cas weak, whose strength levels have been all over the place - but who I think isn’t as weak as anyone seems to think he is, he only chooses to use his powers selectively. (Or Dean chooses for him - I mean come on, Cas mind-wiped Donatello without breaking a sweat, he still heals Dean’s more major wounds with barely a tap. It was only Ishim’s healing that winded him in season 12, but Cas told us that that wound was exceptionally deep. And Ishim was an angel to be healed, not a human, so probably a little more demanding on Cas’ grace.)

Anyway Gabriel feels strong enough after smiting Asmodeus to immediately go on a revenge spree against Loki and sons. Who are Norse gods or at least demigods. That’s the same archangel who prior to going up against Lucifer (back in season 5) was all lover not fighter. So he must have thought himself powered up enough and was genuinely surprised about not being able to heal himself after his confrontation with Fenrir. Cue his surprise visit with the Winchesters in the hope of getting more of his stashed grace. Tough luck, it’s all used up. So Gabe takes a nap on the couch, after which he does not seem to suffer from his injury anymore - he can bend down to pick up the case with the wood sword thingies just fine, where before he could barely stand upright. It’s only after the next fight against Sleipnir and Narfi that it seems to smart again. So yeah, self-healing works just fine, it just takes a bit longer. Then Gabe tells his story and off they all go to exact some revenge. Tough to tell time in SPN (that with indoor scenes, time jumps and supernatural beings manipulating the environment to fit their needs and stuff) but if it’s a couple hours tops inbetween events. So I stand with my assumption of at least Cas levels of power for Gabe at this point and constantly growing. Asmodeus last “milking” extracted three vials and was a while ago. Again with not being able to tell the passing of time in the show, but the boys had been on Rowena’s case in Oregon inbetween events, so I hazard a guess that’s it’s been at least a week if not longer since they last saw Gabe. If Gabe was at say approximately one and half vials of grace when he left the bunker, I think it should have been at least at two by them all meeting up again. Also they don’t immediately have him donate grace for the spell. They expressively wait for him to recharge a bit. Again no telling how much time actually passes. Taking into account the rather impatient nature of the Winchesters when it comes to family saving on one side and their understanding of such matters thanks to years with Cas, I’d say they would give him a week before going bonkers. And they appear slightly frantic in the episode when gathering. Cue in Gabriel’s need for privacy and the pityful amount he seems to be able to extract. At most a quarter of a vial, more like a fifth. Yeah, it’s funny because (insert phallic reference here) and it cause the problem of not actually being enough to establish a portal, so they need to hunt down Lucifer. So if it was all a trick by Gabe wouldn’t he have done it better?

Well, Gabe - or the guy that we think is Gabe - says that he is convinced that his special high powered juice should be enough even in such a small dosage. So, if Gabe actually used the privacy to create a simulacrum of himself it still would make sense. He doesn’t know that the dosage needs to be higher and he would need as much of his grace as he could to keep the simulacrum up and running while getting as far away from whatever was going to go down as possible. And he would have been able to leave Dean’s room and even the bunker without anyone being the wiser. The bunker hasn’t been angel proof in a long time and Gabe has his full set of wings. One flap and he would have been gone without anyone realising it. The simulacrum however would appear as much as Gabriel as possible but without his sharp wit about him, because that would require Gabe actually to be there and to guide the thing. That’s why “Gabriel” is barely able to cover himself with a book when caught in a compromising position with Rowena, instead of using his dry wit and some dirty jokes. That’s why “Gabriel” barely spends any time with the group in the AU, always keeping himself separated. That’s why he actually avoids fighting (the vampires and the angels) and to the best of my memories doesn’t use his powers at all after burning out the angel warding of the camp. Probably ate up all the limited powers the real Gabriel infused him with to make the ruse believable. More it didn’t need, because it was meant to die. Just like the one in the motel in season 5.

Meanwhile Gabriel would be free to return to his witness protection program. Apart from the Winchester, Rowena and the few angels left no one alive knows that he is an archangel. He wears the face of Loki, and no one knows that the real Loki is dead. His sons too, so he can take his place without contest. Back to being a trickster, waiting until his grace fully recharges. Eating sweets, creating pornstar fantasies. Until one day something lures him out again. He doesn’t know yet that Heaven is that close to failing - that was something Cas told the simulacrum. Maybe he doesn’t know yet that Michael wears Dean to a new Apocalypse and that Lucifer truly is dead now. And maybe he comes through for TFW and Heaven once he learns about it. Or maybe my feeling is completely wrong and he is dead and in the Empty. Then I hope something wakes him up soon and he annoys the hell out of the entity.