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#to post or not to post that is the question
twisted-deal · 1 day
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Listen to the roses, they only want what's good for you...
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incognitopolls · 3 days
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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demigods-posts · 2 days
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it's no coincidence that zoe died staring at the stars. and no doubt did the stars stare back, offering her a warm welcome and a light to guide her home. it's no coincidence that silena also died staring at the stars. a skylight opening and revealing beckendorf, her guiding light home. but this begs the question. as thalia died atop half-blood hill, was she too staring at the stars? did she long for an end, for the sky to open and the stars to welcome her home like she had always read about? and does she now like awake at night, staring at the stars, long for the peace her newfound immortality has now made inattainable? because i never stopped thinking about it.
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neil-gaiman · 2 days
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Hi Mr Gaiman, I hope you're doing well.
I saw a post in the dead boys tag that bothered me and I have a serious question. In the post they accused you of being anti lawyer and pro copaganda because of the Lucifer show. If you don’t mind being asked, I wanted to know what your stance really is?
My primary stance is that my only influence on the Lucifer TV show was the initial creation of the character in Sandman, and coming in at the request of the showrunners to Voice God in an episode in the third season.
My secondary stance is that trying to figure out what creative people believe from their fiction can be a very difficult process. You'll find good and bad lawyers and good and bad cops in my stories (the ones I actually had something to do with, not Lucifer) and using either of those things to attempt to prove anything at all only demonstrates that the people with the opinions don't understand how fiction works.
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renstrapp · 2 days
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kirianthe armpit licking from last year
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txttletale · 9 hours
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about the "people are allowed to be cis" like i kind of get the optics & context but I do think it's important to recognize that a gender journey can end at the same place it started. Often-times it doesn't because the journey starts due to discomfort with one's gender but in my mind it's the same as questioning any other belief, it's good to do it even if you end up still holding that belief.
The 'problems' faced by cis people who have questioned their gender are not nearly as big as those experienced by trans people but it's still something that happens, particularly among people in trans communities. I think this idea also sort of intersects with the idea of people wanting representation, and the idea of somebody questioning their gender sort of implies they're going to be trans so then there can be disappointment.
Some of this is speculative, and i haven't seen the original post so maybe i'm missing something but your post really hit weird because it's not telling people they can be cis it's saying you can dip your foot in the pool of transgenderism and not go all the way in. Like obviously that's less urgent than people shooting at those in the pool but just dismissing it is kind of weird
people are told it is okay to be cis literally from the moment they are born. i dont want to be harsh but literally everything you're saying could be coming out of the mouth of a conversion therapist -- the current term used to sanitize conversion therapy in the UK is in fact "exploratory therapy". "well we shouldn't rush them into transness we should give them time to decide in case they're actually cis after all" is the #1 talking point undergirding the total annihilation of trans healthcare for young people in the UK. trans people are already told at every single step of the way that it's okay to change their minds and be cis. they are told this by parents and teachers and peers who say "it's just a phase". they are told this by media outlets panicking about """rapid-onset gender dysphoria""". they are told this over and over again by transohobic medical systems that tell them that they should think about whether maybe they're just autistic or gay or they need to have more sex. every single part of our brutally transphobic society is already screaming "IT'S OKAY TO JUST BE CIS" in everyone's ears every second they exist in it. there is never a need to add your voice to that chorus.
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wonustars · 2 days
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𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (Teaser)
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𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x reader 𖥔 wordcount: ~15k+ (this teaser: 599) 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)
𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!
𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.
𖥔 tags: fake relationship/marriage!au, non-idol!au, mafia!au, afab!reader, norbert is readers cat (more tags when the fic is posted) 𖥔 release date: may 14 or 15, 2024 𖥔 author's note: if i end up posting after the predicted dates plz do not crucify me 🙏 ik a lot of people have been waiting for this one so i'd thought i post a teaser since i have 2-3 chapters left till its finally finished. thank you to all of those who sent in their ideas and to those who've shown so much interest in this story :") i really hope it lives up to your expectations!! see u soonest - anna ♡ !!!!
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The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward to say the least.
Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homely" as possible. 
Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye-candy. Despite the fact that he wore his pink shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn. 
Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in. 
“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal. 
“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully. 
“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.
The group of fourty plus year old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratches the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him good-bye, curious as to what they group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers isn’t it? 
The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt he left. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raises a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it. 
“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand. 
Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you, there wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you’ve moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him. 
“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house. 
You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyways, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden. 
From across the yard, neither you of Mingyu notice Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awfully awkward for newly weds, he thinks to himself. 
“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book. 
Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?” 
“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more.
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adriennebarnes · 1 day
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hi! i loved Drive Thru Test and i was wondering if you'd actually write charles calling y/n his girlfriend and then her not wearing the ring. i think that would just be really funny and he'd be so cute whining. im not trying to rush you and I'd be happy to wait for the fic!
Hi! Yes, it would be very funny because i don’t think Charles realizes that he proposed to a Drama Queen. I don’t know if it turned out like you wanted it to but I really hope you like it!
Fiancé Girlfriend
Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: After a month of being engaged, Charles isn’t used to calling Y/N his fiancé, and accidentally calls her his girlfriend AGAIN. Y/N being true to her words, decides to stop wearing her ring.
Warning: the usual spelling and grammatical errors, VERY bad photoshop.
A/N: I am on my period and it SUCKS, i haven’t been able to get much sleep sadly and i really want chocolate and there’s no chocolate in my house 😩 also, if I were to ever give Charles and Y/N a dog in my fanfics, it will not be Leo since he is a Saint Mleux as well, not just a Leclerc
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(His face when he realized he messed up)
Y/N was in the paddock at the Monaco Grand Prix, she had to be there for Charles’s home race. She was happy she did, Charles got P1, Max P2, and Lando P3. Charles kissed her when he got out of the car, she saw his podium ceremony, literally the best GP she’s been to, nothing could mess up her mood. She was in the hospitality snacking on whatever they were offering her while watching the post race interview on the TV and something happened.
“So Charles, we saw you kissing Y/N after your big Home Race win, how long have you guys been together?” The interviewer asked.
“Yes, my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years.” Charles said and his eyes widened. Max and Lando were also looking at him like ‘ooh, she’s gonna kill you’ “Wait, no, that’s not what I meant..” Charles started but the interviewer ignored him and started asking Max and Lando questions.
Y/N was in shock, how dare Charles call we his girlfriend on live television. So Y/N did what any normal person would do, she took off her ring and placed it securely in the inside pocket of her purse.
Charles in the other hand was panicking after the interview.
“Okay, try not to panic.” Lando said.
“That ship has sailed, Lando. I’m panicking, I’m fucking panicking!” Charles was paving around the room.
“There’s probably a good chance she didn’t see the post race interview.” Lando said.
“And if she did? I already called her my girlfriend once, you know what she said she would do if I do it again? Take off her ring.” Charles said.
“Maybe she was bluffing, she wouldn’t actually go through with that, she loves you too much. I have never seen a couple love each other so much.” Max said and Charles smiled.
“You’re right, Max, she loves me, she’d never take off the ring.” Charles said. He left the room to go to the hospitality and saw Y/N eating fries. “Mon ange! Did you see the interview?”
“Muñeco! Yes I did.” Y/N said.
“I am so sorry, I really am.” Charles takes Y/N’s hand in his and noticed something was missing. “Mon ange, where’s your ring?”
“What ring, muñeco?” Y/N asked, feigning innocence.
“Your ring, your engagement ring, where is it?” Charles asked.
“Charles, I don’t know what you are talking about, why would I have a ring? It’s not like I’m your fiancé or anything, I’m just your girlfriend.” Y/N said and Charles pouted.
“I’m sorry! I swear I am so very sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Charles begged for forgiveness.
“Let’s go home, muñeco, can we order in?” Y/N asked.
“Yeah sure, anything you want, mon coeur.” Charles said. They were walked to the car and as soon as they got in, Charles expected Y/N to put her ring back on since they are not ‘in public’ anymore but she didn’t, the ring was still off. “So mon ange, have you been thinking about when would you want the wedding?”
“Wedding? What wedding? We’re not even engaged, Charles.” Y/N said. You know the saying ‘if they go low, I go lower’? Y/N is going as low as the depths of hell for a slip of the tongue.
“Mon ange, is not funny anymore.” Charles whined.
“Did you order food?” Y/N asked.
“Yes I did, we’re picking it up.” Charles said.
“Cool.” Y/N said.
The drive to the restaurant and back home was silent.
“Okay, we’re back home now.” Charles said as they entered the apartment.
“Yes muñeco, Im aware.” Y/N said but she still didn’t put her ring back on.
“Mon ange please wear your ring.” Charles begged, wrapping his arms around her waist, her back to his chest. “Please, I promise to announce our engagement on Instagram.” Charles kisses her neck. “Please just wear the ring, I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you are the best fiancé a man could ever have.” Charles whispered in her ear as he places little neck kisses.
Y/N turned around and saw Charles pouring with teary eyes and she felt her heart melt.
“Aw muñeco, okay, I’ll wear my ring. But promise the whole world will know we are engaged. I love that you want your friends and family to know first, but it hurts me when you still call me your girlfriend.” Y/N said and Charles kisses her forehead.
“I know, mon ange. We’re going to let the whole world know that you’re my fiancé.” Charles kissed her passionately.
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Liked by pierregasly and 830,659 others
charles_leclerc after years of dating, I proposed to the love of my life on our 5th anniversary. I love her so much, I am thankful for having her in my life. We have been engaged for a month and I am so happy that I get to call her my fiancé, the future Mrs. Leclerc, I love you 😘.
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landonorris happy for you mate, so glad she didn’t kill you
charles_leclerc you and be both 😳
maxverstappen1 happy for you mate!
carlossainz55 congratulations, cabrón! I expect invite to the wedding
yourusername aww, muñeco, I love you too, I can’t wait to be Mrs. Leclerc 🥹
francisca.cgomes let me be a bridesmaid!
yourusername you’re maid of honor!
user45 no wonder Charles looked nervous after his pst race interview
yourusername posted a story
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charles_leclerc replied
Can’t wait to be your husband 😘
The End
Hope y’all liked it! It was a little short but fun to write!
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pucksandpower · 1 day
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Rockabye Baby
Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: you and Oscar take the next step in building your family … just not in the way that anyone expected
Note: I really wanted to get something silly and cute posted for Mother’s Day — and so this was born! I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it 🫶
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You snuggle closer to Oscar in bed, resting your head on his chest as his fingers lazily trail up and down your arm. It’s been an exhausting few weeks on the road, with races back-to-back, but these quiet moments together make it all worth it.
“Osc?” You murmur sleepily. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, babe.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Anything.”
You hesitate, not sure if you should broach the subject. But you’ve been together for years now, surely he’s thought about it too? “Have you ever, you know … thought about having kids?”
Oscar tenses slightly, his fingers stilling on your skin. “Kids?”
“Yeah.” You prop yourself up on one elbow to study his face. “We’re not getting any younger. And I know racing is your whole life, but … I don’t know, I think you’d make an amazing dad.”
A small smile plays at the corners of his mouth. “You do, huh?” His fingers resume their gentle stroking along your arm. “I can’t lie, the idea terrifies me. All the responsibility, the pressure ...” He blows out a long breath. “But with you by my side? I think we could make it work.”
Hope blooms in your chest and you lean in to kiss him, long and lingering. “Really? You mean that?”
“Well, not right this second.” He chuckles, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “But someday? Definitely.”
You beam at him, buzzing with a childlike excitement you haven’t felt in years. “Oscar Piastri, future father. I can’t wait.”
He pulls you close, tucking you under his chin. “Me neither. Now get some rest, yeah? Big day tomorrow.”
You hum contentedly, letting his steady heartbeat lull you toward sleep. Kids with Oscar … you can’t imagine anything better.
A few days later, you’re curled up on the sofa after a long day of work, idly scrolling through your phone while Oscar pads around the flat. He’s been oddly restless and fidgety all evening, but you’ve learned not to question his little quirks. He’ll open up when he’s ready.
“So,” he begins, sinking onto the couch beside you with an adorably nervous expression. “You know how the other night you mentioned, um … wanting to be a mum someday?”
You perk up instantly, setting your phone aside as your pulse kicks up a notch. “Yeah?”
“Well.” He ducks his head shyly, then pulls something from behind his back — a small, smooth rock, painted in garish shades of papaya. “I got you this.”
You blink at him. “A … rock?”
“It’s our baby!” He thrusts it toward you proudly. “See, I’m the dad now. Taking those first steps.”
A startled laugh bubbles up from your chest. “Oscar, you dork. That’s the cutest, most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Too much?” He grimaces, though his eyes are twinkling with barely contained mirth. “I just thought, you know, we could start small. Get used to the idea before, uh, before anything bigger.”
“Oh my god, I love you.” You take the rock from his hand, cradling it tenderly as you peck his cheek. “Hi there, little guy. Hope you don’t mind a slightly non-traditional family.”
“Not at all.” Oscar drapes his arm around your shoulders as you lean into his side. “We’ll just raise him to be open-minded and accepting. Like his mum.”
“His mum who gave birth to him in pebble form, you mean?”
Oscar shrugs unapologetically. “He’ll be the talk of the playground.”
You dissolve into helpless giggles, nestling even closer. “This is certifiably insane, you know that? I can’t believe we’re grown adults playing house with a pet rock.”
“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it.” Oscar nuzzles into the crook of your neck, warm and solid against you. “We’re new parents. We can do whatever we want.”
Over the next few days, Rocky, as you’ve lovingly dubbed him, becomes a constant presence. You bring him along when you travel to the next race, introducing him proudly to the team. Lando takes one look and bursts out laughing.
“What the bloody hell is that thing?”
“Our son,” Oscar says with a straight face. “Would you like to meet your nephew?”
“You two are properly mental.” But there’s an unmistakable fondness in Lando’s smile as he gently pokes at Rocky. “S’pose he takes after his dad, eh?”
You crack up at the offended look on Oscar’s face. “Oh, trust me, I’ll be handling most of the heavy lifting around here.”
From there, it only escalates. Rocky gets his own tiny race suit, his own seat in Oscar’s car (firmly buckled in, of course — safety first). You find yourself referring to him with increasingly outlandish endearments.
“Here, let me get the handsomest stone in the whole wide world a bottle before we try tummy time.”
“How’s my little pebble today? Did you sleep okay in your bassinet?”
Logan nearly falls over laughing the first time he sees Rocky strapped into a miniature car seat on the plane between races.
“You guys are too much, man.” He shakes his head in bewildered amusement. “Where do you even find stuff like that?”
Oscar smirks. “Parents have their ways.”
The joke takes on a life of its own, morphing from a silly gag into a full-blown inside joke, an ever-present reminder that someday, when you’re both ready, you really will have a baby of your own to dote on. For now, though, raising Rocky together is more than enough.
It really hits you one evening as the team celebrates Oscar’s latest podium finish. You’re sitting with a small group, letting the lively chatter of friends and team members wash over you, when you become aware of Oscar sitting across from you. He’s got Rocky nestled in the crook of his elbow, cooing nonsense as he gently jostles him.
“Who’s a good little guy? You are, that’s who. Gonna grow up big and strong like your dad, yeah?” His expression is so tender, so achingly soft, that you feel your heart swell fit to burst.
He’s going to be an incredible father someday, you realize with a jolt of startling clarity. Look at how natural it comes to him, how happy and content he seems, just cradling that silly rock.
Later that night, you find yourself curled around Oscar in bed, trailing feather-light kisses along the line of his throat. He hums deep in his chest, tangling one hand in your hair to tug you closer.
“Mmm, what was that for?”
“Nothing.” You prop your chin on his chest, drinking in the achingly handsome lines of his face. “You just … you’re gonna be such an amazing dad, you know that?”
A bashful smile tugs at his lips as his free hand smooths along the curve of your hip. “Yeah? You really think so?”
“I know so.” You reach out to trace the sharp line of his jaw with one fingertip. “Any kid would be lucky to have you.”
Oscar’s gaze softens to molten gold in the dim light. “Not nearly as lucky as we are to have you. You’re the best mum Rocky could’ve asked for.”
He kisses you then, deep and searing, pulling you flush against him as the world around you falls away. And when he finally breaks away, breathless but beaming, you know without a shadow of a doubt:
Whenever the time comes, whenever you meet your real baby … everything is going to be okay. More than okay.
Because you’ll have Oscar by your side, just like always. Your partner, your best friend, and the love of your life.
***
Five Years Later
You cradle your newborn daughter to your chest, gazing down at her perfect little face in pure wonderment. It’s only been a few hours since she made her entrance into the world, but you’re already hopelessly in love.
“She’s beautiful,” Oscar murmurs, voice thick with unshed tears as he brushes one reverent fingertip along her downy cheek. “Just like her mum.”
You lean into him, overcome. This right here — the two of you and your brand new baby girl — is everything you’ve ever wanted. All those years of loving Oscar, of dreaming about starting a family together … it was all leading to this shining moment.
A soft knock at the door breaks the tranquil silence. Oscar shoots you a quizzical look as a familiar face pokes his head in.
“This a bad time?” Lando grins crookedly. “I come bearing gifts for the little one.”
“Lando!” You can’t help but beam at the sight of your friend. “Get in here, you muppet.”
He slips inside, toeing off his shoes with a cheeky wink in your direction. “Well someone’s in a good mood. Can’t imagine why.”
“Are you kidding? I’m amazing. Completely knackered, but amazing.” You gesture for him to come closer with your free hand. “Here, come meet Oscar’s little co-driver.”
Lando’s expression melts into something unbearably soft as he peers down at the tiny bundle in your arms. “Aww, mate … she’s perfect. Well done, you two.”
“Do you, uh ...” Oscar clears his throat gruffly. “D’you want to hold her?”
For a moment, Lando looks almost scared, like a deer caught in the headlights. Then he nods jerkily, settling into the bedside chair with surprising care as you transfer your daughter into his arms. He cradles her close with the utmost tenderness, rocking her ever so slightly as she lets out the faintest sigh.
“Look at you,” he breathes, sounding utterly besotted already. “Just a teeny little thing, aren’t you?”
It’s like seeing an entirely different side of him, one you never could have anticipated. Not the cheeky, irreverent joker you’ve known for years, but a man, a friend, wholly disarmed by new life and possibility. You exchange a look with Oscar, heart fit to bursting.
“So,” Lando continues, still totally entranced by the baby. “I know we ribbed you mercilessly for a while there about the whole rock baby thing ...”
Your mouth falls open in recollection. “Lando, please don’t-”
But he’s already reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out a familiar splash of textured papaya. “But there’s no way I’d let my favorite nephew miss out on this.”
Rocky, battered and faded but unmistakable, sits nestled in Lando’s palm. You nearly choke on a startled laugh.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“Hold up, there’s more.” Lando somehow manages to keep cradling the baby with one arm as he bends down with the other, hauling a plastic bucket onto the bed. You gape at the contents — dozens upon dozens of smooth pebbles, each one lovingly decorated in bright shades of orange.
“Had to get the whole family involved, didn’t I?” Lando says with a shameless grin. “She’s got loads of brothers and sisters to look after her now.”
You swat at him in a flood of exasperated affection. “You absolute prick. Look at you, being all sentimental.”
“Me? Never.” But the shine of unshed tears in his eyes contradicts the words. He transfers the baby back to you with exaggerated care, then takes a moment to stroke one gentle finger along her tiny cheek. “You’ve got one hell of a village behind you, little one.”
Over the next short while, Lando pulls up a chair and regales you all with outrageous stories and anecdotes, all while Rocky and his “siblings“ make the rounds, passed from person to person like favorite old friends. At one point, Oscar’s cradling your human baby in one arm and your original baby rock in the other, murmuring nonsense to them both as you blink back tears for what feels like the thousandth time that day.
“Look at you,” you say in awe, drinking in the sight. “My little family.”
Oscar meets your gaze over the top of your daughter’s head, his own eyes shining. “Our family,” he corrects softly.
You’re still reveling in that realization when a quiet knock sounds at the door. A nurse bustles in with an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry, but we’re going to need to move the baby to the nursery soon. Just for a little while to let mum rest.”
Oh. You clutch your daughter closer on instinct, chest caving with an aching reluctance you weren’t expecting. How can you possibly bear to let her go already?
But then Lando slips an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a warm embrace. “Oi, it’s alright. We’ll keep an eye on her for you, yeah? Give Uncle Lando and Mini Piastri some quality time.”
Rocky sits nestled in his other palm, as stalwart and patient as ever even after all these years. You nod quickly, swiping at your damp cheeks as you kiss your daughter’s downy head one last time before relinquishing her to the nurse.
“I’ll be right back, sweet girl. Don’t go growing too much while I’m gone.”
Watching her get wheeled away is harder than you could have imagined, like a physical ache in your chest. Oscar wraps you up in his arms from behind, steadying you with his usual quiet strength.
“She’s okay, babe,” he murmurs, lips brushing your hairline. “She’s just down the hall. We’re not going anywhere.”
You let his soothing words wash over you, turning into his embrace until your breathing evens out again. First lesson of parenthood learned — this part’s not easy. But you’ll get through it, just like everything else, with Oscar by your side.
Rocky sits on the bedside table, bold colors slightly faded but message as bright and clear as ever. A reminder that sometimes, the smallest, silliest things can take on the biggest meaning when it comes to family.
“Alright lovebirds,” Lando pipes up, slinging an arm around each of your shoulders. “What d’you say we bring the whole crew down to see the little miss soon, eh? Give her many uncles a chance to swoon all over her?”
You manage a watery chuckle, leaning into Lando’s side as Oscar tucks himself against your other side. Because this? This little patchwork family you’ve built around yourselves, kept close through all the chaos and the years? This is what it’s all about. The fierce loyalty, the bond forged by adversity and triumph and teamwork. The family you’ve chosen over and over again, year after year, through all of life’s twists and turns.
Your eyes drift to Rocky, resting quietly on the nightstand by your hospital bed. Once an inside joke, a silly gift from your husband to make you smile. Now a treasured heirloom, a precious mascot for the latest member of your ever-expanding clan.
Maybe you’ll hold onto that little rock for another few decades, you muse, draping one arm around Oscar’s trim waist. Long enough for your daughter — and any other little ones who may eventually join her — to grow up passing him between chubby baby fists. Long enough for your grandchildren to gather around and listen to stories about.
“Come on then,” you’ll say with an indulgent smile. “Let Granny tell you the story of Rocky. How he was the very first baby in our little family ...”
***
r/offmychest
u/NumberOneRockHater · 9h
My parents and entire family are convinced a ROCK is my older brother!
Okay, I have to get this off my chest because it’s been driving me crazy for years. My parents and extended family are all obsessed with this rock that they insist is my older brother “Rocky” (ugh, I know).
I’m talking full-on delusion levels here. Ever since before I was born, my dad got my mom this painted rock as a joke “baby”. Well, the joke escalated to the point where they started taking this rock everywhere, dressing it up in little outfits, calling it “him”, the whole nine yards.
At first I thought it was just a weird little quirk, you know? Silly but harmless. Except it never stopped. I’m 16 years old now and my PARENTS STILL REFER TO THIS ROCK AS MY SIBLING.
It’s always “Where’s your brother?” and “Did you pack Rocky’s bag for our trip?” and “Don’t forget to wish your brother a happy birthday!” My uncle (who is the WORST enabler) will show up to every family event pulling more painted rocks out of his pockets like “Look, more kids for you guys!”
Meanwhile I’m just standing there like a crazy person. How is nobody else concerned that my entire family has deluded themselves into believing a literal inanimate object is a sentient being?
And the real kicker? This dumb rock has been passed around and adored more than me, an actual human child. I have clear memories of being like 6 years old and my parents getting legitimately UPSET at me for dropping Rocky on the ground. While I’m standing right there!
My dad loves telling this stupid story about the day I was born, how my uncle showed up at the hospital like “I brought the baby’s siblings!” and pulled out an entire bucket of painted pebbles. PEBBLES, PEOPLE. As my “brothers and sisters”?
I’m honestly losing my mind here. No matter how much I protest or roll my eyes, they always play it off as a silly inside joke. Like yeah, I’m sure getting your knickers in a twist over my lack of acknowledgment for THE ROCK YOU NAMED AND CLAIM IS MY SIBLING is a totally normal thing to do! My mum actually teared up the last time I put my foot down, saying she could never abandon her “firstborn.” Um, hello? I was the firstborn, you weirdos!
At this point, I have to assume that either A) My parents and family are all certifiable and living in a shared psychosis, or B) This is some sort of Truman Show situational prank that I’m not in on.
Is it too late to be adopted by a normal family? Or do I need to be the one committed for dealing with this nonsense?
Please tell me I’m not actually going insane here. Anybody else have a family this completely deluded?
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u/NosyAndProud · 8h
LOL no way, your family sounds hilarious! I’m dying at the image of your poor teen self dealing with this ongoing rocky sibling chronicle. But in their defense, you’ve gotta admit it’s a pretty creative way to memorialize a dumb inside joke, right?
My advice? Lean into it. Get your big brother an outfit for the next family gathering. Play fight with “him” in front of your friends and horrify them. TP the house and blame it on Rocky’s delinquent behavior. The possibilities for messing with everyone are endless!
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Reply from u/NumberOneRockHater · 6h
I’m honestly crying, your suggestions have me wheezing! Although if I DID embrace this, I’m pretty sure my uncle would lose his mind. He’s already brought enough “rock siblings” for an entire pebble daycare at this point.
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u/JudgingLoudly · 7h
This is sending me! I’m just imagining you as a little kid, trying to argue with your parents about why inanimate objects can’t actually be siblings. And them being full-on “Well ackshually, this is Rocky your brother” 🤓☝️
But also lowkey it’s kinda sweet? I mean objectifying nonliving things is usually a bad idea (see every Disney movie ever). But if it’s just a quirky tradition that brings your family joy and makes them feel special, who are we to judge? You only get one weird childhood!
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Reply from u/NumberOneRockHater · 5h
Yes, exactly! It was always “But Rocky will be so disappointed if you don’t share your toys with him!” Like … what?
And don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful parents and we’re a very close, loving family. That’s what makes this particular shared psychosis so baffling! Just a big ol’ collective break from reality to obsess over this stupid rock, I guess.
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u/LiveForDrama · 4h
Ok but real talk, I would give ANYTHING to have been a fly on the wall when your uncle first unveiled the “siblings” 💀 I’m picturing this grown man deadass pulling pebbles out of his pockets and ceremoniously announcing “Here’s baby Pumice, and little Granite, and this one is called Basalt ...”
And your parents were just like “Why, HELLO THERE LITTLE ONES! WHAT DELIGHTFUL NEW ADDITIONS TO OUR BROOD!” Just … no questions asked. No commentary on the total insanity. God, I love families.
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Reply from u/NumberOneRockHater · 3h
You have NO idea. I still have flashbulb memories of being like 10 years old, walking into the living room to find my GROWN-ASS UNCLE lying on the floor, lining up those idiotic pebbles and introducing them one by one.
Meanwhile my dad is on the couch COOING at them and having full-on conversations like “Isn’t that right, little fella? Your uncle just loves to spoil you, doesn’t he?” MY BRAIN COULD NOT COMPUTE.
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u/GlassHalfFull · 2h
Ok, gotta say … as someone raised by very boring, no-nonsense parents, I’m just a lil bit jealous of the sheer unrestrained WHIMSY your family has cultivated here.
Like, you’ll always have this hilarious shared experience to look back on! Sure it’s a rock, but it’s THEIR rock, you know? That’s beautiful in a weird way. At least your childhood wasn’t mind-numbing evenings full of tax documents and khaki pantsuits?
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Reply from u/NumberOneRockHater · 1h
Haha, you make a good point! I definitely can’t say my childhood was dull, that’s for sure. Although I do have traumatic memories of losing Rocky at a rest stop when I was 5, and my parents freaking out for hours until we found him under a vending machine. Totally normal.
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894 notes · View notes
Text
Lando Norris and [Y/n] Wolff are an on-and-off thing, fans think they're all good after [Y/n] releases a song supposedly about Lando, but they forget he's not the only Brit on the grid.
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username1 HE LAUGHS AT ALL MY JOKES
↳username2 AND HE SAYS I'M SO AMERICAN
username3 sorry but in which part is y/n american?
↳username1 her mother, Y/m/n Y/l/n, is American and Y/n spent most of her life in the US after Y/m/n and Toto divorced
username3 oooh good to know, thank you!!
username4 I'm so happy to know Y/n and Lando are still together after all
↳username5 But they were never official
username4 But it's obvious! They were seen on dates many times, hanging out around Monaco, not to mention every time Y/n is in the paddock she spends more time in the McLaren garage than Mercedes'
username6 my fav nepo baby <3
username7 damn Lando must be doing a good job lol
username8 Y/n finally released a love song, everybody thank Lando
username9 Weren't there rumours about them being over forever just during the winter break?
↳username10 Toto would find a way to get Lando kicked out of F1 if he ever broke Y/n's heart lmao
username9 What does Toto gotta do with McLaren?
username10 He's rich? Lol
username9 And? Stroll's daddy is rich as well yet he can't make idk Verstappen disappear lol rich doesn't mean he can do anything he wants
username11 Guys I have a bad feeling, we actually haven't seen them together in a long time , I'm afraid they might be actually broken up for good
↳username6 I wouldn't read too much into it, Y/n studies in Monaco so she isn't able to attend races right now
username11 You sure? Y/n hasn't made a single appearance since the season started
username6 The season started in the middle of her uni year lol you ever thought of that?
↳username7 this is literally a love song, how are we even wondering if they broke up? she wouldn't release this if they were done
username6 THIS!! I feel like this song is a confirmation from Y/n that all is good, maybe she was tired of people talking if they're broken up or not
username5 Then why don't they make it official?
username6 that's not a question i can answer
username12 "I'll go anywhere he goes" then why aren't you attending races miss girl? Education can wait
↳username2 lmao it literally can't wait
username13 "the books you read" ma'am, Lando looks like he hasn't touched a single book his whole life
↳username12 And it's not like he dresses that well either, his style is nothing special
· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
y/n's texts with Lando
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· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·
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username1 All men are the same I swear
↳username2 nooo I swear there are good ones, but that's just not Lando
username3 excuse me sir, y/n has just written a love song about you
username4 NOOOO THE WAY HE PUT HIS HAND ON THE GIRL'S LOWER BACK
↳username1 Him and Y/n are done frfr 😭
username5 Do we know who the girl is?
↳f1gossip Not yet, but I'm sure we'll know in no time
username6 Wtf is wrong with you, it's not her fault Lando can't focus on one woman
username7 But there's no way she didn't know about him and Y/n ;)
username6 There is/was no "Lando and Y/n", they never confirmed a relationship
username8 He's just won in Miami, I was hoping they'd make it official after that :(
↳username9 Sameeee it would be so cool
↳username10 Literally same, it'd be perfect
username11 Lando Norris, you disappoint me again
↳username12 at this point Y/n must be used to that lmao poor girl I hope she finds someone better
username13 WHAT DOES TOTO SAY ABOUT IT?
↳username3 Whats he supposed to say? Y/n is a grown woman, stop treating her like a baby
username14 I swear if we see Y/n back again with him after THIS I'm gonna break some dishes
↳username15 Yeah I hope she'll find some self respect and finally leave his ass
username16 Y/n I beg you to leave him, the d can't be THAT fire
yn_wolff posted on instastory
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landonorris replied to your story:
↳mind if i join?
yn_wolff:
yeah lol don't join
landonorris:
i was gonna sail today anyway, what if we do it together?
hey i think i see u thru my window who are u with?
yn_wolff:
with dad and susie
stalker ass creep don't get anywhere near me today
landonorris:
I see another man
who is he?
*seen*
y/n answer me who is he
is that russell?
fucking russell wtf is he doing there
he better keep his hands away from you
what the fuck why are u hugging him
yn_wolff:
i'm hugging george and I'll do something worse if you don't stop with ur stalker shit
landonorris:
what the fuck do you mean y/n
yn_wolff:
don't worry, I'm sure that blonde girl would love to give you a hug, you should go see her
landonorris:
she's just a friend
y/n you're mine
she doesn't mean shit to me
don't show my texts to russell
yn_wolff:
Hello it's George, stop texting my girlfriend or we'll have to tell Toto
landonorris:
girlfriend?
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username1 Right after? The Lando thing was yesterday
↳f1gossip Yeah, and this was this morning
username2 Whats Y/n doin with George? 🤨
↳username3 in case you forgot she's y/n WOLFF, the daughter of Mercedes' boss which GR drives for
username4 After seeing Y/n's story I hoped she's finally spending some time with Lando but...
↳username5 Have u seen what Lando posted? 😂
username4 What did he post?
username5 Oh apparently he deleted it already lol it was a story
username5 Anyway he posted like a lowkey thirst trap pic and the music he added was Tumblr girls by g eazy lmao
username4 Boohoo consequences of his own actions catching up
username5 Yeahh and he especially chose the verse that goes like "fucking off and on, always stop and go, probably got someone, choose not to know"
username6 Guys, I say we take in consideration the possibility of 'so american' being about George
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landonorris Monaco weekend 🇲🇨☀
view all comments
username1 Why do I feel like he posted this just so people think Y/n was there with him even though there's not a single pic of her? 😂
↳username2 Bro why he want her when he can't have her anymore?
username3 get over it, it's your fault
username4 I feel like he's tryna say "Hey guys look, Y/n took these pics" but why would we believe it 💀
↳username1 Exactly!! We all KNOW she most likely spent the day with George
username5 Now all i think about when i see Lando is the story he deleted 😭
↳username6 totally hahah he literally called Y/n a bitch but also admitted that he can't help wanting other girls
username7 Wait when did this happen? When did he say that?
username6 he never said that, it's lyrics of a song he posted but quickly deleted
username5 He immediately regretted hahah
username8 @/maxfewtrell Tell Lando to behave, why are you even helping him with this bullshit?
username9 It's too late, you had your chance FOR HALF A YEAR and still chose to lead Y/n on, now she got someone else and you're being petty
↳username10 She let him lead her on for half a year? Damn it he should pay for her therapy
username9 I feel like she really hoped she can change him but realized "if you can't change the man, change the man"
username10 Very accurate lmao
username11 Guys, I believe Y/n and Lando were a thing for much more time than half a year, it was going on for at least a year, they were just very secretive about it
username9 Well, good for her to finally get out of this shit, she deserves so much better and I hope George will give her that
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username1 I bet Toto loves his new son in law
↳username2 He has to be very relieved to know Y/n chose George eventually
username3 We still don't know if they're dating, remember George drives for Mercedes
username4 I really hope Lando is crying rn
username5 Now Lando for sure can't trick us into thinking Y/n was with him lmao
username6 I love George for saving Y/n
username7 I love them, they're all so old money, Y/n and George are a great match
username8 MY DELULU IS BECOMING TRULULU
username9 This is our confirmation that so american is about George
username10 I feel like Y/n upgraded at some point but at one point also downgraded
↳username2 Let's not talk about it, we should be happy for her and George, at least he won't treat her like an option
username11 George is literally THE MAN for Y/n, I'm so glad she finally realized that
↳username12 Chill, let's not assume stuff before we have any statement from them, we all know where assuming can get us
username13 This is my old money dream
username14 HEAR ME OUT but I'd actually love to see George and Y/n get married one day
↳username12 THIS is exactly where assuming can get us
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yn_wolff Oh you'll like him, he's really kind andhe's funny like you sometimes, and I found someone I really like maybe for the first time
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username1 I'm so happy for them I'm gonna cry
lewishamilton Invite me next time!
↳georgerussell63 Toto said it was family only, I'm sorry, Lewis!
↳yn_wolff Ask Ferrari to invite you wtf
username1 lmao only Y/n Wolff can talk to a 7 times world champion like that
username2 YESSSS IT'S OFFICIAL
↳username1 Y/n is officially free from Lando!!
username3 I love the vibes, I love the fact that Y/n is dating a driver from her dad's team, I love the fact that Toto accepts it
↳username4 He must've been going CRAZY when Y/n had the situationship with Lando
username3 Absolutely and I think we all know about Toto's anger issues lol
susie_wolff 💝
↳yn_wolff 🩷
ymn_yln I hope George knows he's welcome in America too 😊
↳yn_wolff Of course!! We have a plane on Friday❤️
↳georgerussell63 I wanted to take Y/n to Miami so we can visit after the GP, but she refused 😔
yn_wolff Shut up I have uni!!
georgerussell63 It can't be more important than me meeting your mum
lilymhe Beautiful couple 😚
↳yn_wolff @/susie_wolff it's about you and dad💕
lilymhe Might as well be 😂
username3 Susie and Toto literally are Y/n and George in like 20 years lmao
alex_albon Finally, no more secrets
↳username2 ALBONO KNEW?
username4 Phew I can't imagine how much stress it was for him 😂
username5 George just MIGHT be the guy which so american is about...
username6 Something about this relationship makes me feel so at peace and I don't even know them in person
charles_leclerc Someone check on Lando😂
↳yn_wolff Charles 💀
username5 Is he wrong tho
username7 I laughed harder than I should've
↳username8 Betting all my money he's regretting all his actions
username9 As he should tbh imagine leading sb on for about a year, people who do this are evil
username8 Yeah, that was so wrong of him
username10 No but I need to know what books George reads tho
landonorris 👍
↳yn_wolff Stalker ass you don't even follow me
↳username4 THE AUDACITY
landonorris I hope you'll have fun while it lasts
↳yn_wolff YOU'RE the one to speak about lasting
↳georgerussell63 Not your place to worry about it🙂
username5 THE EMOJI MAKES IT SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON
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username1 "THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE BOOKS YOU READ" he dresses well✅ he looks like he reads✅
username2 He's the perfect man for Y/n frfr
username3 I'm so happy that it's not about Lando after all, I was like girl he's treating you like shit and you write a love song??
username4 I've been waiting for it for YEARS
username5 So they had a thing for no longer than since the end of winter break and already made it official
↳username2 Something Lando couldn't do for almost a whole ass year lmao
username6 But have y'all noticed how obsessed with Y/n Lando is suddenly?
↳username1 of course he is, that's how it works, he's been rejected so his fragile ego is hurt
username3 He's even liking fans' edits of Y/n😭man is manifesting hard but I doubt anything can help him
username7 Good to know George's hands are warmer than hell, they don't look like it
username8 Girlie deserved a man who doesn't have commitment issues aka is a real man, I'm glad she got him
username9 Y'all think Lando reads Y/n x reader fanfics?👀
↳username1 Totally
↳username2 I can imagine it
↳username3 He'll do it until his delulu becomes trululu (it'll never happen🔥)
username10 I'll laugh so hard if now Lando will now stop fooling around with other girls 😂
username11 Can't wait for a whole album full of love songs about him
↳username12 I don't think we'll have to wait for long
622 notes · View notes
nouvellevqgue · 2 days
Text
IT GIVES YOU WINGS OR LOVE?
pairing: max verstappen x redbull athlete!reader
summary: summary: sometimes, the team that brought you in, could also gives you more opportunity to even meet your lover there.
note: they're unserious, nothing was actually romantic based on my perspective.
taglist: @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1 @auggieblogs @namgification @charli123456789 @cherry-piee
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yourusername
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liked by redbull and 237,144 others
yourusername Woohoo !!! SO hyped to grab 🥈 at my first slopestyle World Cup since the 2022 Olympics. Genuinely had so much fun out there today. Congrats to everyone for the insane level of riding, and thank you, as always, to the supporters for all the love ❤️ A few areas need a bit of work still, but none more than my champagne skills 🥴
view all 1,247 comments
redbull Super proud of you, Y/n! 😍
username there's something about redbull athletes and winning and i can't really put my finger on it...
maxverstappen1 Proud ❤️
username What is this motherly comments, Max
username MAX LATE COMMENTING????
username Rb downfall is real y'all
username rb downfall is started from max late commenting?
username That's a sign too
username I'm planning our wedding as we speak
redbullsnow It was magnificent
landonorris ahem, probably i can teach you my *signature* champagne pop
yourusername Hmm, but I don't want to destroy anybody's trophy though
username 💀💀💀💀
username OKAY OKAY WE GET IT
username until now i'm still questioning on how did he pulled this baddie
username I really need to see her with another Red Bull athletes out there
username her bf is literally max verstappen
username wait fr?
username She literally confess it in GMA, how's that fake?
username PR relationship is real yk...
username RENEW YOUR CONTRACT, MOTHER
username istg she looks like lily's lost twin
username At least she's not dutch, I'm with her
username why? what's wrong with being dutch?
username I'M TIRED OF HEARING THEIR NATIONAL ANTHEM OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE
username naw brother, prepared to hear them national anthem at the same time
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1 and 188,316 others
yourusername Celebratory lunch + A lil hair touchup 😆
view all 1,589 comments
username Ahem... No pic cred?
username I think you forgot to dry your hair
yourusername My stomach's grumbling so loud already, I can't hold it anymore to even dry my hair 😂
username UGH SHE'S SO PRETTYYY 😍😍
username PLS SAY YOU WILL RENEW YOUR CONTRACT
maxverstappen1 Don't forget to spare me some 🍴🍴
yourusername How cliché of you to comment this while eating my sushi 🤨
username HER SUSHI 😭😭
username Max late commenter is back but not with his motherly comments, but with a LIE who is now debunked by his own girlfriend
maxverstappen1 I thought she wouldn't reply to this
username better not to lie to a skier
username All of these were very much so obvious. You guys don't have to act like doing a soft launch when she already dropped a literal bomb to confess that she's dating Max in GMA
username heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes
username I want to be her gf 😭😭😭
username You're unreal OMG
maxverstappen1
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liked by carlossainz55 and 472,580 others
maxverstappen1 Flexing master #TiffanyPartner #TiffanyHardwear
view all 1,096 comments
yourusername I agreed to post here but what was the caption supposed to mean?
username It's giving Lily + Albon's dynamic
username Max influencer era is here and ready
username I want that hand to choke me
yourusername Whoa
username Istg she looks like a carbon copy of @lilymhe period.
username omg max is stealing her endorsement????
landonorris okay. the trial's over, let's make your own jpg account.
maxverstappen1 Wait, really?
landonorris no, just baiting.
username WHY IS HE SO ANNOYING 😭😭😭😭
username supportive bf max is my new favorite gender
username Who taught him to be like this?
alex_albon He's definitely has attended Alex Albon school of boyfriendery
username how come did her hair never looked the same in every frame she's in?
username but the hair color remain consistent till the end of the day
maxverstappen1 Drafts do exist, you know.
username OO ENDED THEM
username pls do a tutorial on how to make your fingers as long as hers
username I bet that is not Max's hand
username Break the bet, it is not
redbullracing · 24m
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yourusername
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liked by victoriaverstappen and 102,445 others
yourusername Truly enjoying my paddock debut here. Thank you @redbullracing for the invitation, definitely having much fun in Shanghai 🥰
view all 973 comments
username Me and the bad bitch I pulled after being WDC:
username LILY GO BACK TO ALEX'S GARAGE
username Rb couple domination is real
username Max: 🧍
username you guys better believe when they said red bull enjoyer belong, they were.
lilymhe Why are you guys looks so stiff? 💀
yourusername Wait until I asked him to go skiing. Let's see how stiff he would be.
maxverstappen1 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
username Can't wait to see Max skiing with her. Wonder if his skiing skill has improved ever since he's with her.
username next stop: the alps
username Oh it's her paddock debut? I thought I have seen her attending gp in Ausgp?
username That time she wasn't his gf just yet
alexandrasaintmleux Ahhh your fit is so cutee <3
yourusername YOURS TOOOOO 🌹🥺
username QUEEN IS BACK IN TOWN, SLAYING AS USUAL
username Whys your paddock pass looks different from the rest of the WAGS?
yourusername I was invited by @redbullracing as a guest. So that's why mine's different 💁🏼‍♀️
username Why would they invite you as a guest when you're already his gf tho😂
username Can you stop asking?
maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername and 463,197 others
maxverstappen1 Alps: Day 1 ⛷️
view all 1,638 comments
username Wait why is it different?
maxverstappen1 Sometimes, one of us played it harshly and losing the original glasses. So we bought it new.
username AND IT ISN'T YOU??!?? OMG
username Awwww if my relationship not this sweet, I don't want it.
username Y/N WITHOUT HER RB STICKER HELMET AND ATTRIBUTES??? WOWOWOW
username mother and father🥴🥴🥴
username They're cute asf
carlossainz55 What a good day for a ski couples
username probably i should drink red bull to have someone like them
danielricciardo Who wins?
yourusername We're both... Losing, actually
danielricciardo I KNEW IT
yourusername
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liked by schecoperez and 157,839 others
yourusername Turns out, he's not that bad of a skier too.
view all 2,630 comments
maxverstappen1 Hey, I don't look like that
maxverstappen1 How could you do this after I posted out sweet moments yesterday
maxverstappen1 What is this betrayal
username Alright Granny, let's get you to bed
username WHO'S THAT ON THE SECOND SLIDEEEEEE
charles_leclerc What was that outfits 😂😂
yourusername Don't say as if your fits were not like that
charles_leclerc Mine's fashionable, sorry.
lilymhe Fashionable just for leo's eyes
username i love how contrast their posts are. ah soulmate
username I want what they're having toooooo
username His digital footprints is something that I have to go for a dig
username Well apparently the both of them were losing
username says who?
username Daniel and Y/n on Max's post
username I know they were never gonna be the best at competing at each other
username if their relationship was really a pr, i don't believe it
444 notes · View notes
enwoso · 2 days
Note
Hi can you write a Lucy bronze x reader. Reader is the shy one of the team and during teamnights and interviews reader is very reserved. With Lucy she isn’t as shy. Lucy helps reader slowly get out her shell (some fluff :))
JUST NOT ME — lucy bronze
*i truly apologise for the lack of posts in the past few days, i’ve had a hectic few days and i’ve been focused on studying so sorry if this sucks — posts will probably be a bit inconsistent over the next few weeks but i’ll be as active as i can<3*
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"you excited?" beth asked as the car pulled into the entrance of st george's park, the familiar surroundings bringing a small smile to your face. this was your first call up to the england squad in almost a year, having been out with the dreaded ACL injury.
"i guess" you shrugged, beth shaking her head in amusement. you didn't really know how to explain it, of course you were excited, who wouldn't be happy playing for their country but you were almost nervous, what if you weren't up the standard of others in the group.
"always the women of few words!" beth joked, one you had heard many times as the arsenal girls loved to tease you about how quiet you were but that's just how you were cause not everyone was her.
they didn’t know that you needed a chance to warm up to people before you let them into your bubble, they didn’t know that even though because you don’t say a lot that you aren’t paying attention as you notice every persons small habits they have. cause not everyone was her.
you were a listener and not someone who could sit and chat someone's ears off for ever more than a day like the likes of beth mead and ella toone could do so effortlessly without even realising.
but maybe that's what lucy liked so much about you.
you and lucy had been together just nearing two years now, the two of you had known of each other for a while it wasn't until a night out in london with the lionesses that leah had dragged you to after you had said for days on end that you weren’t going, that you and lucy spoke to each other.
you sitting in the corner of the club, drink in hand as you watched millie and rachel on the karaoke a small smile on your face at their singing which was not the slightest in tune at all.
lucy spotting you sat alone slipping in the booth with you before asking you why you weren't doing karaoke like everyone else, you shrugging at the girls question before she asked you if you wanted to do it with her.
you face going red as you almost immediately shook your head, but lucy being lucy had her mission for the night and that was to get you to do karaoke, and to which she succeeded after sitting and having a few more drinks with you.
and from that night, the rest was history.
you rolled your eyes at beth's comment as she chuckled to herself getting out the cab first, getting her luggage as you followed close behind her, thanking the driver as you headed into the entrance of st george's park.
taking in the familiar surroundings, as you looked around noticing the few changes since the last time you were here.
"i'm not holding these doors open for the good of my own health, hurry up!" beth pointed out, her thick northern accent bouncing off the walls as she was stood in the doorway of the lift, pulling you out of your trace as you hurried to get into the lift. pressing the buttons on the side of the wall for the floor you needed.
you and beth getting out of the lift on the same floor, you noticing your girlfriend as she had her back turned the opposite way, a smile appearing on your face.
beth nudging you, "go on!" she whispered as you said a small bye to the blonde as she walked the opposite way.
"your here!" a voice cheered which you knew all too well, lucy stood at the end of the hallway in front of her room door as you stopped your suitcase at your own door.
you smiled seeing the girl, your smile getting bigger with every step she took closer to before engulfing you in a tight hug. your whole body relaxing in hers, the smell of her perfume that you had missed.
“of course i’m here?” you smiled confused at her reaction to seeing you stood in the hallway. “well the media was saying you were gonna withdraw because of an irritation in your knee” she admitted a small frown on her face at the mention of your knee, knowing how hard and the amount of hours you had put in just to get back to the level you were at just last year.
“baby, you do know i would tell you before i even told sarina if i was going to withdraw don’t you?” you asked her, your hands finding their way up the back of her training top, your girlfriend having been here since early as she’d had an early flight to catch this morning.
“yeah”
"anyways, i've missed you" you mumbled into her neck, nestling your head as her hands fell to your lower back you feeling her smile against your forehead as she kissed it.
"i've missed you too love" she smiled as you looked up with a lovesick smile on your face. lucy pressing small kisses to your cheeks, nose and chin before finally pressing a soft kiss to your lips — which you would be dammed to say that you hadn't missed.
it was hard at times being away from your girlfriend for weeks on end as she played in barcelona and you were playing in north london at arsenal. having to schedule weeks in advance of when you would next be able to see each other.
but it made moments like these all the more worth it.
when you would finally be reunited and be in her arms again. sometime you think the distance made the two of you closer in a weird way as you felt as though you cherished you time together more.
"you coming down to lunch?" your girlfriend asked as she pressed your foreheads together, the smile never leaving either of your faces. you nodded, "yeah, let me just put my bag in and chance my shoes"
lucy hummed as she let you go from the hug, grabbing your suitcase for you as you rummaged around your pocket for your room key, the green light flashing as you pushed the handle down.
the door shutting with a click as you opened your suitcase finding your sliders to slip on, “baby, you got another pair!” lucy whisper yelled, pointing to your pink crocs that you were pulling out of your suitcase as she sat at the end of the bed watching you.
“yeah?”
“so what? that makes it seven pairs you’ve got now!” lucy said exaggerating the amount, as you huffed rolling your eyes as if she didn’t have trainers lined up on her bedroom floor.
“three actually” you sassed standing up and checking your hair in the mirror as lucy pulled a face at you, you doing one back to her.
“now quit your complaining, i want food!” you smiled sweetly at your girlfriend grabbing her hand and pulling her up from the bed as she pecked your lips quickly before you left your room not before checking that you had your phone and key card to actually get back into your room.
walking down hand in hand with lucy to where food was being served, as you filled each other in on the journey here. lucy’s sounding a lot more exciting then your two hour car journey consisting of views of trees and beth chatting your ears off about anything and every.
saying a small hello to others that you hadn’t seen since arriving before grabbing something to eat and sitting on a table just the two of you.
"on sunday, i went for breakfast with my mum and you know all she spoke about was you!" you complained as lucy had a smirk on her face as she put another forkful of food into her mouth, nodding alone to what you were saying.
"that's because i'm her favourite" lucy laughed as you rolled your eyes. “clearly, it’s so annoying-“ you began before being cut off by two blondes joining you at the table.
"how do you do that?" leah asked, directing her question more at lucy than you, as she sat down beth following behind the captain. as the two sat down at the table you and lucy were sat at.
"do what?" lucy asked, confusion taking over her face as she looked to you who shrugged putting another forkful of food in your mouth.
"get y/n to have a conversation!" leah pointed to you as you felt your cheeks go a little red as a small smile appeared on your face, as lucy looked back to the blonde and the two others still not really understanding what leah was trying to get at.
"we always have a conversation?" lucy shrugged as if it was nothing, cause to her it was. you had never really spoken to lucy until she had brought you out your shell. lucy knew you were more reserved when it came to talking to others, you would speak but it would be very few words.
but she wouldn’t change it for the word cause even if you didn’t say anything back she knew you were always listening and taking in everything she was saying.
beth and leah began to recount all the the times they had talked to you and you only ever gave them a one word answer, the two pleading with lucy to tell them her ways.
"really? y/n over here is a little chatterbox!" lucy smiled over to you as you awkwardly smiled at the two not really knowing what to say.
"she's not at shy as she likes to let everyone think she is!" she bumped your shoulder, as you rolled your eyes the sound of your fork tinkering against the plate in front as beth and leah’s mouth hang wide open in shock.
"no i refuse to believe it, how!"
"your just not me" lucy joked, the four of you beginning to laugh as you nodded your head in agreement, "i mean your not entirely wrong"
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lucybronze no one compares ☺️
comments -
youruser awh how cute
-> lucybronze no i meant no one compares to me?
-> youruser your ego is sickening at times.
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incognitopolls · 1 day
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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A Soft Launch
@jaynaverse, here's your request!
It was all over social media: James Potter: Single or Taken? The debate continues!
The argument had been going on for months.
The picture that started it all? Two shadows, holding hands.
The internet had gone insane, with thousands of comments arguing over the context. Some swore it was James holding hands with his best friend and bandmate Sirius. It wouldn't have been the first time they posted a jokingly flirty picture. Others swore neither shadow was James- it was actually Sirius and Remus. Which made sense, as the two were dating. But those with maths degrees and too much time on their hands figured out that the taller shadow definitely was James (something about the angle of the sun and the shadow and James's height) but the other shadow was too tall to be Sirius.
Eventually, the hype might have slowed down, if the pictures didn't keep coming:
Two pairs of shoes: one, James's signature red converse. The other, black converse. It took weeks of people calculating sizes and likely size-to-height ratios for that one to die down.
Two hands holding each other: one clearly James's skin tone, while the other was startlingly white with painted fingernails. Of course, people were immediately trying to reverse-image search the rings on the mystery hand. But nothing was found.
A selfies with just the smallest amount of someone's head peeking up from the bottom: black curls sneaking into the frame. That one almost broke the internet.
But it was the picture that James posted most recently that had everyone speculating more than ever: the leo constellation, with the caption, "Stargazing <3." One of the stars had been turned into a heart.
The comments rolled in faster than James could read them, as he stayed curled up on the couch.
"I think they're going to actually break Instagram this time," he murmured, leaning down to kiss Regulus's dark curls. "Do you suppose it's time to tell everyone?"
Regulus's startled look was enough to answer that question. "And ruin the fun?" he pouted, his beautiful lips making James melt instantly.
"Never," James grinned, kissing the pout away.
"I suppose we can be a bit more obvious, though," Regulus grinned, grabbing James's phone.
A few minutes later, thousands of phones lit up as an image of Regulus curled into James's lap, his face hidden in his shoulder, James kissing his head, was posted. The caption, "My favourite star 🌟" had been written by Regulus himself.
And the comments started rolling in again.
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imwetforyourmom · 2 days
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Can you write a fluff about Matt x reader, and he invites her to film a video for his personal channel introducing the reader as his girlfriend to the fans and answering some questions about their relationship.
meet her
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warnings: fluff, swearing, kissing, just very slightly suggestive
a/n: y’all, be honest, does the cover photo match? green and brown? idk 😕
a/n 2: yall I dont have instagram and dont have any idea how the qhole questions thing works, so bare w me
~
“my girlfriend”
“hi everyone, welcome back.” matt says, looking at the camera, his lips parted as he thinks of what to say next and how he’d like the video to go. “as you know, i made a post the other week about having a girlfriend but didnt say who she was.” he spoke, taking in a deep breath to calm his nerves before continuing.
“i’d, uh, like to introduce you all to my-“ matt took in a sharp inhale, glancing over at his girlfriend, whom was silently encouraging him. “my girlfriend.” he finishes, grabbing his girlfriends hand and bringing her into frame.
“hi!! my name is y/n.” she says, waving at the camera, her voice enthusiastic with a grin on her face. y/n has been waiting to finally announce her and matt’s relationship. she’s been waiting patiently for matt to be ready, as much as she wanted to, she’d never do such a thing without his consent.
matt fidgeted with her fingers, a nervous smile on his face. he was ready to introduce the love of his life to the internet, he was always ready. he just wanted to make sure y/n and him would last long enough for it to be okay to tell everyone. he didnt want to show everyone his girlfriend just for them to break up a week later.
and he knew y/n would never leave him. he was sure of it, she’d proved it so many times before.
another thing he was nervous about, he didnt want anyone going and bashing his girlfriend, sending death threats or doxxing her. she meant so much to him and he didnt want to risk their love, the love he’d been desiring for years.
“we’ll be answering some of your questions.” he spoke up, clearing his throat and letting go of y/ns hand. he grabbed his phone from his pocket and went to his instagram, reading the answers of the ‘questions?’ thing he put up the other day.
y/n stared down at his phone, chewing on her cheeks in order to hide the growing grin on her face. she was just so excited.
“alright,” matt said, looking up from his phone and at the camera. “first question is,” he mumbled, his eyes scanning the letters. “how long have you been together for?”
“y/n and I have been together, for about, six or seven months now, I’d say?” he said, looking over to y/n for re-assurance.
“yep! best seven months of my life.” she replied in return, balancing onto one of her legs as she stood. her legs getting slightly tired. (she was still recovering from last night)
matt noticed this and pushed his chair out some so y/n could sit on his lap easily. he grabbed his phone and looked for anothe reasonable question. as he did so, he pat his lap, inviting y/n.
y/n took the offer and gently sat on him, leaning her back into his chest and her head on his shoulder. basking in the moment, sitting with her boyfriend and answering questions about their relationship. it was so nice and comforting.
“okay, another one says, ‘have you guys dropped the L bombs yet?’” he giggled, resting his chin on y/ns shoulder.
y/n giggled along with him, a big grin on her face. “yes, we have.” she answered, their giggles dying down as they read matts phone together.
“can I read a question?” y/n asked, leaning her head to the side some, resting her forehead onto matts neck to get a better look at his phone.
“sure” matt passed his phone over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and folding his hands together on y/ns thighs.
“are you dating to marry or dating to play?” y/n spoke, her eyes widening as she realized.
matt looked over at her in surprise, a light scoff leaving his lips. “what? i’m dating to marry. why the fuck would I date to play?” he looked over at the camera, raising his eyebrows.
“I probably should proofread these questions first” y/n chuckled, her hand coming down to rest ontop of matts. gently rubbing his hand with her thumb, comforting and assuring him.
“dating to marry” y/n answered shortly, her voice trailing off as she was already scanning another question.
“alrighty, this question is good, good as in like, acceptable.” she mumbled, perking her head back up and looking at matt through the camera.
“has your girlfriend moved in?” she read, a small grin growing on her face.
“not yet, but im planning on moving in, in about a..?” she looked over to matt for an answer.
“a month or two. she needs to pack her apartment up and etc” he replied, a chuckle slipping past his lips.
“alright you guys, thats all for today. thanks for watching!” matt finished off the video, letting y/n wave bye before he grabbed the camera and screamed in the lens, hearing y/n fall into a fit of giggles.
895 words
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @genshin-addict @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff @mattsmad @sturn-bugz @e1ias3 @sunsetsturniolos @strniolo @sturnssmuts @simply-a-simper @stunza
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borathae · 2 days
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Close Shave | Jungkook x f.Reader
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↳ Full Art
"You walk in on Jungkook using your razor to shave his balls and the bratty question for help on his lips. It's only fitting to help him, if only so you can give him a sexy little punishment for touching your things."
Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: established relationship!AU, Slice of Life Smut
Warnings: sub!Jungkook who is the cutest pookie, mean Dom!Reader, he tries to make her laugh, until she accidentally gets him horny, then he tries so hard not to make her notice his boner, spoiler alert: it was her plan to make him hard, she shaves his dick and balls, handjob, edging, multiple orgasms (m. receiving), whiney!Koo, some dirty talk, overstimulation, ruined orgasms & post-orgasm torture, begging & subby boy tears, male squirting :'), soft & cuddly aftercare, he is so cozy in subspace hehe <3, they're in love <3
Wordcount: 4.5k
a/n: sometimes i give myself new kinks and i think that's beautiful :') have fun besties, i missed writing this kind of Koo 🤍
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You knock on the downstairs bathroom door.
“Sweetie, are you okay in there?” 
Jungkook has music playing, but is worryingly quiet. Normally when he listens to music in the bathroom, you can always hear him singing to it. He did so at first, but became worryingly quiet all of a sudden.
“You didn’t slip and fall in there, did you?” 
Jungkook doesn’t answer you. Your worry grows. He’s got Chase Atlantic playing and he isn’t singing to them. He loves singing to Chase Atlantic. Something must have happened.
“I’m worried, I’m coming in. Last chance to stop me”, you tell him loudly and open the door. 
Jungkook reveals himself to your eyes instantly. He is sitting on the floor with his back against the sink counter. He is in his white button up and slippers, but doesn’t wear any pants, sitting with his legs spread and his head right between them. A silver bowl filled with dirty water stands in front of him. Shaving cream and hair swims in it.
“Oh? Sorry”, you gasp.
Jungkook’s head shoots up, his big eyes look you up and down.
“Since when are you here?” he exclaims, “you scared me, wah, don’t do that. I have blades against my balls.”
“Sorry, oh god.” You laugh. “You were suddenly so quiet and I was worried that you slipped and hit your head. I didn’t know that you were shaving.”
“Yeah well, trying to. The razor sucks ass”, he says, waving the pink razor around.
“Is this my razor? And my shaving cream?!” 
He pulls a sorry “I’m a little shit” face. 
“No?”
“Jungkook, I shave my armpits with that. I don’t need your ball hair on it”, you whine.
“Hey, you’re acting as if you never had my balls in your face before.”
“It’s about the principles. You doofus, you’re gonna dull the blades.”
“No, I won’t. They’ve already been dull since the beginning”, he says and demonstrates their inability to shave on his crotch.
“You’re doing it wrong. No, what- Kook, you’re doing it wrong.”
“Urgh I knew it”, he groans and stands up. The view is a little funny. White dress shirt, black slippers and crotch messy in shaving cream. He presents the razor to you, “show me.” 
“Sorry?” 
“Show me. I promise I’ll be a good boy.”
“You saying it like that makes me think you’re not gonna be a good boy.”
He smirks playfully. You study it with a fluttering pulse. It could be fun. You could use it to give him a little punishment for taking your stuff. 
“Fine”, you give in, “sit on the counter.”
“Okie dokie”, Jungkook says, jumping on the counter with a giggle, “look at us. Shaving my balls together.”
You roll your eyes, bending down to get the bowl. You put it on the counter next to him, cleaning the razor under running water. Once clean, you walk to him. 
He opens his legs for you, making grabby hands at you. You meet his eyes. They’re sparkling boyishly.
“Don’t give me that face”, you say.
“I’m not even doing anything”, he defends himself, fluttering his lashes at you.
“Yeah sure.” 
You step between his legs, chuckling when he instantly grabs you and kneads you. 
“Doofus.”
“Heh, you’re pretty”, he says, earning himself another fond roll of your eyes.
“Scoot to the edge.”
He follows. 
You bend down and place your hand on his balls to stretch the skin. The razor touches his skin.
“Careful. If you cut them off, you’re at a loss too.”
“I’m gonna be careful”, you say in a chuckle, dragging the razor through his bush. It picks up a good strip of it.
You straighten up and clean it in the bowl.
“Woah, how did you manage to get so much?” Jungkook gasps.
“Practice. You had the angle all wrong”, you say, bending down again. 
“I knew that it was user error.”
“No, you didn’t. You said the blades were dull.”
“No, I didn’t”, he says, clearly being playful. 
“Mhm sure”, you mumble, feeling oh so very fond of him.
You and he share silence, which the music fills. You can listen to Jungkook singing softly and every time you straighten up to clean the razor, he gives you a little grin. One you never retort because you kind of enjoy acting a little annoyed. He knows that it’s pretend and therefore tries to make you laugh and he’s cute when he does. One time he tapped your head to the beat of the song, another he rubbed your neck to the melody as he sang the lyrics with all his heart. Another time he called you pretty, while yet another time he tried it with a silly joke about pubes. His attempts were very good and whenever you had your face between his legs and he couldn’t see it, you let a fond smile wash over it. 
You are straightened up again, cleaning the razor in the bowl. Jungkook watches you, gazing at your face more than anywhere else. 
You bend down again, shoving his balls to the other side.
“Oh? Careful”, he chuckles, “that was quite the shove.”
“Sorry, I gotta do the other side now”, you tell him, furrowing your brows as you guide the razor through the first patch. 
Jungkook stays still, but puts his fingers on your head.
“How many fingers?” he asks.
“I’m tryna concentrate”, you tell him with concentrated brows. 
“Try. I’m making it easy”, he says, wiggling his fingers.
“Three.”
“Correct. See? I knew you could do it.”
You scoff, “doofus.”
You clean out the razor then go straight back to shaving him. Jungkook watches you.
“It’s kinda funny to see you between my legs like that and only have you shave me. Normally you’re doing something very different when you’re like this.”
You stop mid-shave, keeping the blade on his skin as you lift your eyes. 
“You lift your eyes like that too when you do.”
“You’re so annoying”, you mumble and look back at his balls to finish the shave. You smile.
“I saw that.”
“You saw nothing.”
“I’m pretty sure I did. You smiled.”
“I was gritting my teeth in concentration. Like this.” You straighten up and show it to him. “See?”
Jungkook laughs, scrunching his face for it.
“No, you weren’t. I saw you smile.”
“Whatever you saw, it didn’t happen”, you say and bend down again. But before you can, Jungkook stops you with a finger under your chin. 
“Mhm?”
He leans in, stealing a kiss. You grab his thighs instantly, kissing him back with a fluctuating pulse.
The kiss breaks with a bite to your lower lip and his lips curling into a smile.
“I love your smile”, he whispers, following it up with a giggle and peck attack to your lips.
You huff out air to cover up your chuckle, nudging his chest, “doofus.”
You bend down, unable to hide your smile. Jungkook soaks up the view with a fluttering heart. He is having so much fun right now. Spending time with you like this is new and exciting. He also likes the little game you make him play. You are so obvious when you only pretend to be annoyed and he gets so nicely competitive to make you break that he could squeal now that he finally sees your smile.
Your smile soon drops however. A look of concentration replaces it as you guide the razor over his skin smoothly. You clean it and go straight back in, putting your fingers on his dick to move it aside. 
“I think JK Junior has a preference to fall left.”
“Yeah, definitely...JK Junior? Really?”
“Yeah.”
You chuckle, “you’re annoying.”
Jungkook bites down his squeals, having a hard time with it. He loves making you laugh! 
“Should I hold him?” he offers.
“No, keep your hands to yourself.”
“Okay”, Jungkook says and runs his fingers over the nape of your neck.
“I didn’t know my neck was yourself.”
“I’m not touching JK Junior, am I?”
You scoff, following it up with a little chuckle.
“You’re annoying.”
Jungkook snickers, kicking his feet.
“Hey!”
“Oop!”
He tenses up, gawking at you with big eyes.
“No kicking. I’ll cut you on accident.”
“Sorry.”
You clean the razor, “I’m almost done, don’t worry.”
“Already?”
You glance at him. He is pouting.
“Are you sad about that?”
“Yeah.” He pouts harder. “This is so much fun.”
You hide the victorious smile. It’s all going according to plan. You knew that he wouldn’t be happy with just his balls. Now the real fun is going to begin. All of this was just a warm up, the perfect way to get Jungkook into a giddy kind of mood. And when he is in this kind of mood, it is terribly easy to turn him on. Oh, you are going to have so much fun with him. 
“Fine, I’ll do JK Junior too”, you fake your annoyance, “good god, I knew you would do that”, you add, bending down to do the last part of his balls.
“Yay thankies. I swear it’s just because you’re so much better at it than me.”
You feel ecstatic. Look at him still thinking that he is in control when you are playing him like a fucking game.
“Yeah sure”, you say and finish the shave. You straighten up, clean the razor, then leave to get the shaving cream. 
“The cream is really good. It smells so nice”, Jungkook says, “flowery and sweet. I like it.”
“Yeah and it’s only fourty bucks”, you say sarcastically.
“What?” He widens his eyes. “Fourty bucks?!”
“Yeah and you used way too much.”
“Fuck, sorry. I thought it’s like four bucks. Mine’s like three sixty.”
“No, I always get the expensive one.”
“Why? Cream is cream. Wouldn’t a normal one do the trick too?”
“Sure, but this one lasts me more than a year ‘cause I only have to use a little.” 
“Sorry, I’ll get you the next one.”
“Mhm, okay”, you say and begins spreading some on his crotch area.
“Okay, I definitely used too much. Look at how well it foams up.”
“Right? It’s really good”, you say and wipe some on his nose.
“Hey”, he gasps and laughs, wiping the foam away, “not cool.”
You give him a grin and pick up the razor. You have a plan. You will do the first few shaves normally and then go in with the attack. Jungkook doesn’t suspect a thing. He is still singing and making jokes with no idea of what will happen soon. Oh, you are going to ruin him. 
You finish three small patches. It is finally time. Your heart is racing as you go in. You pick up his cock, holding it in your hand. Act innocent at first. Make him believe you are only making it easier for you, only to drive him desperate with your warm hand little by fucking little.
Jungkook stops singing for just a second, but then continues. He feels it, but doesn’t want to pull attention to it. Oh, you could squeal. 
You clean the razor, releasing his dick. For now. You will do two more like this and then you won’t pull your hand away when you clean.
It goes well and then the fourth patch comes. You don’t pull your hand away, keeping it around his cock with just enough pressure that he feels it.
Jungkook lets out a breathy chuckle. You look at him with faux confusion in your eyes.
“Why are you laughing?” 
“Nothing, uhm, you’re pretty.”
“Doofus”, you say, smiling internally. Of course he’ll act innocent. He is still in the belief that this is innocent, that you are just shaving his dick. He won’t tell you that the warm pressure around his cock is starting to affect him. 
But you know him better. You know that his brain is currently trying to zone in on nothing but your touch, while he is actively trying not to make it do that. He doesn’t sing as much anymore because he needs to concentrate. He is so adorable. 
You won’t have to do this for long anymore and then you can move to the next step. Oh, he is going to have a very hard time with that. You have the perfect plan. 
You increase the pressure whenever you clean the razor, doing the smallest pulsing motions with your fingers. You make sure to keep them small enough that they aren’t noticeable, but that he will ask himself why it suddenly feels so much better. By the third time, you hear him exhale shakily. He hasn’t sung to the entire song by now. 
You look up, watching as Jungkook tries to make a normal expression. He had his jaw tightened and brows furrowed before that as he secretly tries to keep the blood from shooting to his cock. 
“You good?” you ask him.
“Yeah. Yeah totally”, he says, nodding his head vigorously, “you uhm…do you have to do a lot more?”
“Mhm?” you look at his crotch and act as if you needed to inspect him, moving his cock from side to side with your hand moving around his tip. 
Jungkook sucks in air, tensing his thighs. His cock hardens a little in your hand. Not enough to be visibly noticeable, but you can feel it.
“Mhm, I would say that we still have some way to go. Why? Did your butt fall asleep on the counter?”
“No”, he laughs breathily, “no, not at all.”
“Okay, just say if it does”, you say and bend down to drag the razor over his skin. You pretend to struggle with the position and to fix it by moving his cock to the side with a pulse around his tip.
Jungkook doesn’t sing at all anymore. He is actually very quiet and you know that it’s because he is trying so hard to keep his breathing silent as to not make it obvious that he needs to breathe to regulate himself. But of course you notice because he is not slick with it. Unlike his cock, which is beginning to be slick between your fingers. 
You straighten up to clean the razor, pulling your hand from his cock. Jungkook’s hips chase you, but he tense up when you look at him again. He is giving you such intense eye contact that you know for a fact that he is trying to distract you. Oh, he definitely noticed how hard his cock is. 
He can’t even think of a joke right now, simply staring at you with a nervous smile on his lips. 
You don’t retort it for show, looking at his cock again.
“Mhm”, you let out loudly, furrowing your brows. You want him thinking that you noticed his semi. 
Jungkook tenses up in panic.
“It’s not-”
“I don’t know how to get that part, mhm”, you interrupt him, “oh? Sorry, did you wanna say something?”
“Huh? No, not at all”, he says and laughs nervously.
“You’re so weird sometimes”, you mumble and pick up his cock to move it to the side. Unlike before, you don’t use your entire hand for it, instead you keep three fingers on nothing but his tip, moving them up and down as little as possible. Again, it shouldn’t be obvious, but he should suddenly ask himself why it feels so good. 
And he does. He is trying not to show it, but he must currently scream in his head. His thighs keep tensing and he is doing a worse job at masking his heavy breathing. 
You clean the razor, retreating your touch. 
“I think this part is easier to shave. You got more room”, you tell him calmly.
“Yeah, totally. I totally agree with you. Totally.”
“Are you okay? You’re talking weird”, you say and gasp, “oh god, did I cut you somewhere?” you exclaim and pick up his cock to move from it side to side with your hand pulsing around his tip, “you should have told me. Gosh baby, where is it? I can’t see anything.”
“No, it’s”, he is squeaking, arching his back and grasping your wrist to stop you, “you didn’t cut me. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” you look up at him. 
He nods his head vigorously, “I’m coolio.”
“Okay, if you say so”, you say and change grip to three fingers on his tip. His cock is so hard by now that you know that this round will be enough to make him fully erect. The fact that he still hasn’t acknowledged it, acting as if he isn’t completely out of breath, is giving you the biggest butterflies ever. He is so bad at pretending and it’s so exciting to you. You won’t say anything either, you will continue to act oblivious while you drive him insane with just three fingers. 
You work meticulously to shave him while your fingers move up and down his tip secretly. Jungkook grips the edge of the counter again, tensing his stomach to prevent his back from arching. 
You clean the razor, dropping his cock again. You make sure to look at the water, but in reality you watch him from the corners of your eyes. His cock twitches and leaks. Jungkook gasps and goes to wipe it away quickly, hitting it in an attempt to make it go down, which results in a more aggressive throb because he likes it. 
“Mmh.”
You look at him. Jungkook scrambles into a relaxed position quickly, fumbling for words but he can't think of anything. 
“Everything alright?” 
“Mh-hm”, he gets out, nodding his head vigorously.
You move back to shaving him, picking up his cock between your fingers. You want to stay longer this time around, do the strokes in three tries while your fingers massage his tip secretly. You keep pressure on the spots, using the shaving cream as slip. Jungkook’s thighs are flexed, his abs engaged. You glance at his hands. His knuckles are white because he is using so much strength to grip the counter, resulting in his veins to bulge all the way from his hands to his elbows. He is so sexy. 
You make sure to slow down more, to really drag it out. He should be desperate once you’re done, he should crave your touch again and ask himself why on fucking earth he is such a needy fucking man. And oh how you drag it out, how good you time it. You pull back at the perfect time which results in Jungkook to arch his back and whisper a curse. 
You glance at his face. He is scrunching it, gritting his teeth as well. You edged him. And he isn’t even aware that you can see his agonised face because he is too busy trying to suffer in secret. Fuck, you want him like crazy. 
But you stay quiet. You look away before he opens his eyes and clean the razor with an innocent expression. You can feel his eyes on you. They are begging you as much as they are trying to figure out if you were actually that blind to his problem. You don’t grand him eye contact, moving in instantly. 
Jungkook sucks in air, tensing up again. You dare to glance up at him. As you had figured, his eyes are closed. He is biting down on his lower lip, flaring his nostrils as his nose tries to keep up with all the wheezing he is hiding from you. His eyes are closed. You can dare to increase your touches. He is too preoccupied with suffering quietly to watch them become obvious. You allow yourself his initial reaction to the increasing pleasure. He opens his mouth to moan only to remember in the last moment that he needs to be quiet and he bites down on his lip again, tilting his head back just enough to reveal his throat. He is so sexy, holy fuck. 
You look back at his crotch, concentrating on gliding the razor over his skin safely. It might not be obvious yet, but you actually want to do a good job in shaving him. He’ll come out of this experience smooth and with a scrambled brain. You are making sure of it. You finish the round the moment Jungkook’s hips dared to chase you. 
The latter lets out a small whimper, squirming on the counter because you had him so close. 
“I like this razor. I don’t know how you used it, but it’s not dull at all”, you speak calmly.
“Yeah uh, yeah I don’t know.”
“It’s probably because you used too much cream”, you say and pick up his cock, keeping the movements minimal again because his eyes are on you. You put the razor to his skin and drag it up his skin. Your fingers massage his tip, Jungkook tenses up more. More. More. 
“Oh god”, he squeaks and begins twitching as the pleasure finally gets too much. You move the razor away for safety reasons, gawking at his flushed cock shoot all over his tummy and your hand. He is writhing, thrusting his hips into your touch as he cums with his panicked eyes first looking at his cock, before meeting your darkened gaze. 
“Seriously?” you ask him, cocking your brow up.
“Sorry”, he whimpers, reaching for you with the goal of kissing you. It feels so good that the shame is minimal to him right now. 
But you aren’t happy. You need him to suffer a little more, you need him confessing how bad he needs your touch. You pull back in the best moment, ruining his high which results in Jungkook to sob in agony with his hips fucking the air.
“Please, please it hurts please. Touch me please.”
“Well, that didn’t take long”, you say, placing the razor aside, “it only took you twenty minutes to finally admit it. A new record”, you say sarcastically.
“You knew?” he gasps out, writhing.
“Duh. You think it felt that good accidentally? I was touching you from the beginning”, you say and pick up his cock to jerk it off quickly, finally using your dominant hand for it. 
Jungkook drops his head against the mirror, finally arching his back and moaning the way he had wanted to do for ages. 
“You’re so cruel.”
“It’s what you get for using my stuff”, you throw back, twisting your hand around his tortured tip. 
“Sensitive please”, he begs, kicking his feet desperately. 
“You begged for it. So take it”, you order with no ounce of pity in your voice.
“Oh god”, he presses out, arching his back repeatedly while his shaky hands grip the marble.
His cum already became a deep white from the fast friction, sticking all over your hand and his cock. Residues of the shaving cream add even more slip to the punishing handjob. You know that he won’t hold out for long with the rhythm you have going on and that it’s gonna be the kind of orgasm which makes him cry just a little. 
And how right you were. Jungkook can only take five more pumps and then the overstimulation gets too much, forcing him to orgasm with such intensity that he shoots all over his own face and mirror. The sudden hot mess on his face startles him, making him cry because it was all too much. It still is. You don’t slow down even now that he is cumming. It burns and aches so much and Jungkook has no control over his body anymore. All he can do is sob and shake uncontrollably while you force his poor cock to soothe the burn by squirting all over himself. 
There is so much of it that it runs down on each side of him, spilling all over the counter and washing away the remnants of shaving cream. He sobs and he moans, he whines and he keens while you match his noises with evil laughter and mocking coos. 
Jungkook cries so much harder. You are so mean to him and he didn’t even do anything. You are so, so mean. 
His orgasm dies down as aggressively as it began. His once pleasured writhing becomes agonised, he tries to tug your hand away, sobbing begs to warm your heart.
“Please, I’m sorry. I won’t take your stuff again. I’m sorry, please!” 
“Promise me?”
“Promise! Please I’m sorry, I promise!”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Promise!” Jungkook screams so loudly his voice bounces off the walls, “holy fuck, I’m sorry!”
“That sounded better”, you say, finally releasing his ruined cock. You tortured him so good that you made him go soft as a defence mechanism. He is so fucking lovely to play with.
Jungkook drops against the mirror instantly, wheezing for air and spilling tears as he scrunches his face. 
You rub his trembling thighs, guiding your touches up his torso slowly until you can pull him into a hug. Jungkook hides away in the crook of your neck, holding you with his arms both weak yet terribly strong as they try to clutch you for soothing. You rub his back and scratch his scalp.
“You did so well, sweetie”, you praise him, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Hmmh”, he lets out, nuzzling his face into your shoulder from left to right. 
“You were also not slick with pretending everything was okay.”
He laughs, but it soon turns into little sobs. He lifts his head, looking at you with teary eyes.
“You ruined me, oh god look at me”, he says, laughing even if tears run down his face.
“Gosh baby, I’m here now”, you say, cradling his face.
“It was so nice”, he presses out, sniffling aggressively in order not to cry again. He ends up pouting with sparkly and happy eyes.
“It really was” you say, brushing his tears away, “I had a lot of fun.”
“Me too. It, it was so nice. I felt so happy to be with you and, and making you smile and then you made me so horny. Oh god”, he falls around your neck, “I feel like a giddy boy, you have no idea.”
You giggle with him, ruffling his hair. 
“I think I’m getting an idea.”
He giggles and squeezes you, following it up with a deep sigh. 
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Kookie.” You kiss his neck. “Do you want me to do the last stripe too?”
“Huh?”
“Your dick. You lost it like one more razor stripe before the end. I’d hate to leave you unfinished.” 
“Oh god.” He giggles, kicking his feet and nodding his head vigorously. “Yeah, you can finish it.”
“Nice. I promise I won’t rile you up again”, you joke, making him laugh to the point where he has to cough because he laughed way too hard. The joke definitely wasn’t that funny, but he is giddy, in love and totally mushy in his afterglow. You could breathe and he would think that it is the funniest thing you have ever said. 
You like when he is like this and after you finished the shave and you cleaned him (and the mirror), you take him to the couch for cuddles and kisses. He is just too adorable not to.
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