#to reconnect it again in 15 minutes

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

I would love!! to never lose anything again

[sojourner-between-worlds]

woman chucks printer out second-story window, more at ten

[cogcltrcorn]

watched little ashes 2008. I fear my brain chemistry has been permanently altered

[vivulapom]

okay but hypersomnia in whump

listen i know exhaustion/insomnia is common and it's also delicious but just hear me out ok?

whumpee who, even after getting out, can't stay awake for more than 15 minutes. even when they are awake, they're tired and drowsy.

and it's so *frustrating* for everyone involved. caretaker leaves them alone for five minutes and they're back asleep. at the table, on the couch, even on the floor, and it takes time and effort to get them awake enough to do anything, and they're likely to be asleep soon again anyway.

it's hard to get anything meaningful done towards recovery because whumpee is just so tired. maybe they're endlessly frustrated that they can't just stay awake, or maybe they use it as a coping mechanism. being awake is too cold and loud and busy, so they'll try to just sleep the world away.

it's hard to have meaningful conversations with them. caretaker and teammates struggle to try and reconnect with whumpee because they're just always asleep. and it's frustrating because whumpee is *trying* to stay awake, or maybe they're not.

caffeine just prevents the sleeping part without really fixing the waking part. they can't sleep but they're still too tired to do anything.

just imagine..

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Conquering the Writing Slump: Reignite Your Creativity and Motivation

Every writer experiences it at some point: the dreaded writing slump. It's that sinking feeling when your creativity seems to have gone into hibernation, leaving you staring at a blank page. But fear not! In this blog post, I'll help you explore unique and effective strategies to help you break free from the writing slump and reignite your motivation to write. Whether you're a seasoned writer or just starting out, these carefully crafted steps will guide you back to your creative flow.

Step 1: Reconnect with Your Writing Purpose

Take a moment to reconnect with your writing purpose. What drove you to start writing in the first place? Was it the desire to tell captivating stories, impart knowledge, or share your unique perspective? Reflect on your initial motivations and remind yourself of the passion that ignited your writing journey. This reconnection will serve as a powerful source of inspiration to propel you forward.

Step 2: Embrace the Power of Mindset

Your mindset plays a crucial role in overcoming a writing slump. Instead of viewing it as an insurmountable obstacle, shift your perspective and see it as an opportunity for growth. Embrace the belief that challenges are stepping stones to success. Cultivate a positive mindset, affirming your ability to overcome the slump and rediscover your writing mojo.

Step 3: Rediscover Your Writing Identity

Sometimes, a writing slump occurs when you feel disconnected from your writing identity. Take the time to rediscover who you are as a writer. Reflect on your unique writing style, voice, and the themes that resonate with you. Reconnecting with your writing identity will reignite the spark of creativity and motivate you to put pen to paper once again.

Step 4: Set Realistic Writing Goals

Setting realistic goals is essential in reclaiming your motivation. Break down your larger writing projects into smaller, achievable milestones. By doing so, you'll experience a sense of accomplishment as you complete each task, fueling your motivation to tackle the next one. Remember, progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

Step 5: Cultivate a Writing Ritual

Establishing a writing ritual can work wonders in overcoming a slump. Designate a specific time and place for your writing practice. Create a personalized ritual that helps you transition into a focused and creative mindset. It could be lighting a scented candle, playing calming music, or even performing a short meditation. The familiarity of your ritual will signal to your brain that it's time to unleash your creativity.

Step 6: Experiment with Writing Prompts

Writing prompts serve as catalysts for fresh ideas and inspiration. Seek out unique writing prompts that resonate with your interests and writing style. They can be found in books, online websites, or even through random word generators. Embrace the challenge of writing within given constraints, and witness how it sparks your creativity and motivates you to write again.

Step 7: Engage in Stream-of-Consciousness Writing

Stream-of-consciousness writing is a powerful technique to bypass your inner critic and tap into your subconscious mind. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and write whatever comes to mind without censorship or judgment. Allow your thoughts to flow freely, even if they seem disjointed or nonsensical. This exercise can unlock hidden ideas and awaken your creative energy.

Step 8: Seek Inspiration from Other Creative Outlets

Sometimes, finding inspiration outside of writing can reignite your creative fire. Engage in other artistic outlets such as painting, photography, or music. Immerse yourself in nature, visit art galleries, or attend live performances. These experiences will stimulate your senses, refresh your perspective, and infuse your writing with newfound inspiration.

Step 9: Collaborate with Fellow Writers

Collaboration can be a powerful motivator. Seek out fellow writers and engage in collaborative projects, writing circles, or workshops. Sharing ideas, receiving constructive feedback, and discussing challenges with like-minded individuals will invigorate your creative spirit. Embrace the sense of camaraderie and support that comes from being part of a writing community.

Step 10: Embrace Self-Care and Recharge

Self-care is vital for overcoming a writing slump. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that recharge your creativity, such as practicing mindfulness, exercising, or immersing yourself in a favorite hobby. Prioritize self-care to create a balanced and nurturing environment for your writing to flourish.

Defeating the writing slump requires a combination of self-reflection, mindset shifts, and proactive steps. By reconnecting with your writing purpose, embracing a positive mindset, exploring new writing techniques, seeking inspiration from various sources, and nurturing your well-being, you will reignite your motivation to write and unleash your full creative potential. Remember, every writer encounters temporary setbacks, but it's your resilience and determination that will guide you back to the page. So, embrace these unique steps, trust in your abilities, and let your words flow once again. Happy writing!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Okay, just slotting the 'Emily knew vaggie because her wings made her stand out' into the Vanguard Vaggie AU and raising you the thought of emily finding out that vaggie is, in fact, that exorcist.

Like just imagine all the feels there!

the comedic route:

Emily staring blankly as Charlie speedruns an explanation only to get cut off by Emily socking Vaggie right in the face

(and then apologizing for it for the next 15 minutes) (vaggie isn't mad she gets it) (vaggie kinda liked it actually) (Charlie However Did Not) (it was also Emily's first punch ever and she might have maybe cracked a knuckle bone on Vaggie's jawline)

the dramatic route:

Charlie is scared of either Emily hating Vaggie or Vaggie and Emily getting Very Close

so she goes exact words demon thing, and doesn't tell EITHER of them the truth-

to Emily she assures she checked all the dead exorcists' wings and none of them had just one stripe.

(true. it's her very alive girlfriend who has wings like that)

to Vaggie she handwaved that she'd checked the exorcist thing for Emily already and the one she was looking for didn't die in the hotel battle.

(true. Charlie is talking to said very alive former exorcist right now)

She banks on Vaggie not wanting deal with heaven at all (and now being able to say WHY) and Emily being too busy changing things up in heaven to ever surprise visit the hotel (and on Lute and Sera being so dead set on not sharing info Emily probably won't be able to check the exorcists herself, or ask for help without possibly drawing attention to the one exorcist she isn't sure she wants to risk getting in trouble).

while this is going on, Charlie tries to NOT notice how Vaggie gets instantly sidetracked whenever they visit Cannibal Town, and can always be found playing Hop Corpse or Tick Tac Dead Man's Toe with the cannibal kids

all reminders of how she still definitely IS the same angel who's protective streak Emily anchored so much trust on back in heaven

Charlie also tries NOT to get too heartbroken listening Emily's now regular calls where the seraphim mixes frustration with tears over still NOT being able to find that single-striped, kid loving exorcist

who Emily is starting to worry if was gotten rid of on the sly... if one exorcist like Vaggie could be abandoned down in hell, then what might have been done to this other one-

(about that...)

oh and uh, Charlie deflecting wildly whenever Vaggie asks what the phone calls are about and if she can help, is also making Vaggie just a liiiiiitttle bit droopy- maaaaybe a bit insecure- a lot insecure- extremely jealous and slightly more territorial-

possssibly also bringing up fresh memories of Charlie not 100% trusting her with other things

which is NOT what Charlie is trying to do but UGH lying is HARD why does ANYONE ever think this is a good idea!?

why did SHE think it was a good idea-

oh right.

she's just found out her gf is an angel

who could have or could have had a life up in literal heaven

and now there's also someone up there who might have known Vaggie long before Charlie did

who isn't an asshole

and keeps being called "the Charlie of Heaven" by their friends

so if Vaggie had never left heaven...

or if she and Emily reconnect NOW, right after Vaggie and Charlie had their first big falling out...

....hellooo fear of not being loved and getting left alone again!!!

okay well lying still isn't a GOOD idea but it's hard to think of better alternatives when you're scared shitless. so lying it is!

Small snag: Vaggie REALLY doesn't trust heaven, is VERY protective of Charlie, and comes crashing into the heavenly consulate building thing wings out spear ready the MOMENT one of Charlie's meeting with heaven gets even a LITTLE tense

Further snag: Emily is VERY active in trying to change heaven, helped organize the meetings in the first place, is there to see Vaggie AND her wings

and is now staring from Vaggie to Charlie, fully realizing she's been lied to

Final snag- Charlie own guilty conscious and wish for her gf to have good things,

it means that even though she cOULD still wiggle out of this- get Vaggie out of there QUICK, let Emily believe that Vaggie knew she was being looked for and didn't want to be found, pretend she Charlie was just shielding her partner....

buuuuut she can't. she can't do that to either of them

now Charlie breaks down crying, explaining everything to a very plot twist confused Vaggie, now Charlie is swearing to Emily that Vaggie didn't know about the lie she can't be blamed for it this was 100% Charlie's thing please don't hate Vaggie for it-

result?

if you think for one moment Vaggie doesn't drop her spear and rush over to hug Charlie you are DEAD. WRONG.

so it's Charlie, not understanding why Vaggie isn't angry, listening to Vaggie (muffled) (choked up) say that she knows why Charlie did it, she's literally been there done that, it's OKAY

bc yeah Vaggie's felt that fear and yeah it makes you do stupid, dumb things, and now she's feeling pretty sick thinking about CHARLIE going through that while SHE VAGGIE was busy moping around worrying her gf was getting close with another angel

they're both desperate morons, your honor

oh and Emily's here too.

Emily is realizing the one exorcist she used to trust and felt betrayed by DID rebel against heaven and HAS been down in hell trying to save the people she used to kill

and one person Emily trusted with all this hid Vaggie from her... because Charlie loves Vaggie, and almost lost her and their relationship twice just recently, and

Vaggie and Emily team up to reassure Charlie.

(im boring. im boring and basic and i LIKE happy endings and vaggie would rip out her other eye for charlie while emily is emily so NO im not saying this spirals into more damn drama, my heart can't take it, i need them all to HUG)

Charlie can KINDA get Vaggie not being mad.... healthy reaction or another sign of their blissful codependency, who can tell...

but she IS confused about Emily being so nice about it-

Vaggie also adds that she herself has totally earned Emily's wrath on behalf of everyone up in heaven who DIDN'T know actual mass murder was being done in their name, so if Emily wants to go off on her, Vaggie is fine with that

at which point Emily smiles. Looks at them both thoughtfully.

and asks if they're planning on having kids

at which point, amid spluttering and panic, Charlie and Vaggie both realize Emily IS still pissed at them. Very. VERY PISSEED INDEED.

buuuut she has clearly decided on making her revenge as slow and sweet as possible

Through innocent questions, and, should a Chaggie child ever appear- having first dibs on being godmother, along with the resulting standing invitation to Every. Single. Family. Dinner. for the rEST of eternity or as long as any of them still live, oh fuck, she will NEVER let EITHER of them live it down.

the end

[tanniefm]

christmas & chill | jjk (m)

sequel to all to you

summary - it’s the most happiest time of the year with your needy boy.

pairing - jungkook x reader (f)

genre - established relationship, pwp, fluff

word count - 3.7k

song inspo - the entirety of ariana grande’s ep christmas & chill ofc!

warnings - reader and koo are hopelessly in love sigh, lots of cum, unprotected sex (pls don’t be dumb like them i beg), koo kinda switches lowkey sorry, overstimulation, hint of dacryphilia, koo’s a lil crybaby, extremely needy koo, praise, riding, backshots yayyyy, oral (f receiving), squirting, cum eating, pet names (ur his angel <3), reader is chubby coded (is that a thing? i’m making it a thing), reader suffers from FPS (fat pussy syndrome) whilst jungkook suffers from FDBS (fat dick and balls syndrome) 😞

a/n - a lil gift from me to u ♡ thank u all for all the love. i wanted to post something for christmas as a 2 year anniversary to my first ever fic i posted on here. hope u enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. see u next year!!

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The semester is over, finals are a thing of the past, and your lovely new boyfriend is coming over in 15 minutes. Merry fucking Christmas to you! 

Due to finals being obnoxiously cutthroat this year, you’ve barely been able to spend any time with Jungkook. He offered to help you study multiple times, but you felt it would be more responsible to study on your own without any…distractions. You learned from last time that studying with him ends with materials being forgotten and clothes being strewn about. So for two weeks, you put a sex ban on the both of you so that way when you were able to reconnect, it’d be 10x better. Jungkook reluctantly agreed but had a huge pout on his face that you oh so lovingly kissed away. Ever since you two made it official, it’s like all you ever think about is being grossly lovey-dovey with him. In your defense, he makes it a little hard not to. He’s the sweetest boy in the world, of course you wanna shower him with kisses and endless praise and let him pump as much cum into you as his heart desires! The look on his face does you in every single time, just thinking about it is making you squeeze your plush thighs together. 

You shake your head to re-focus on the task of getting ready. Your roommate has the same plans as you do with her own significant other so she notified you she’d be gone for the weekend with a sly smile. Fortunately for her, this means she won’t have to hear the headboard banging rhythmically into the wall at 3 am anymore - well, at least for the weekend. You’ve decided to pamper yourself a little before he arrives. Showered, shaved, moisturized, spritz some sweet-smelling perfume, and even put on a little bit of makeup just to make yourself feel extra cute. You put on some fuzzy pink shorts that make your legs and ass look good, and a tank top with Hello Kitty positioned right in the middle of your boobs. You look and feel so fucking good right now. ‘Jungkook’s gonna bust in his pants again,’ you sigh blissfully to yourself. However, tonight you want him to fill you up completely. It’s what you deserve after such a stressful month of non-stop studying and crying over due dates. You give yourself a little smile in the mirror before you walk to the living room to turn on the tv for background noise. Watching movies is the last thing on your mind at the moment.

Your head springs up when you hear melodic taps on the door. Anytime Jungkook knocks, it has to be to the tune of whatever song he was listening to earlier, it’s a habit you’ve always found to be endearing. You skip to the door happily, excited to see your favorite boy.

“Hey angel, I got us- mph,” you interrupt his sentence with a deep kiss. Fuck, you missed him so much. Although you’d never admit it to his face, as he tends to get a bit cocky (which never lasts once you’re on top of him), this sex ban has been torture for you. You made the foolish decision of adding that neither of you was allowed to touch yourselves while you cracked down on studying. So to say you were pent-up was a gross understatement. You parted from him for air and saw how dazed he looked. Pink cheeks and shaky breaths. Just like always.

You smirk and look down at the bags he has in his hands. “You got food? Aww, you’re too sweet, come in! It’s freezing,” you say innocently. You grab the bags of takeout from him and usher him inside. He’d like to blame his rosy face on the cold wind, but you and him both know you just caught him off guard. And turned him on a little. These past couple of weeks have been what Jungkook would imagine hell is like. And then to add the extra challenge of not masturbating? November is over! What happened to Destroy Dick December?? Nevertheless, he’s ecstatic to see you again. He has so much to give you. He knows you can take it, he just wonders if he can. Other than his incessant horniness though, he’s just as excited to curl up with you under your warm weighted sheets and hold and kiss and love you endlessly. He walks inside to see you’ve transformed the living room into a cozy holiday getaway. Fairy lights decorated the tables and doorway, soft music flowed throughout the room, chilled wine set out on the table, and you, looking as gorgeous as ever. God, he’s so in love with you. He wants every holiday season to be spent with you by his side. He plops himself down on the couch and stares at your pretty figure retreating to the kitchen to collect plates and utensils. He notices that you’re wearing the short fuzzy shorts that he likes. The ones where he can clearly see the soft thighs he always imagines rutting himself between. Maybe if he’s good tonight you’ll let him. His dick slowly hardens at the prospect. 

You come back with eating materials in hand and sit next to him closely on the couch. “What’s all this for?” he asks distractedly. He notices you’ve also put on the perfume he can’t get enough of. It’s subtle enough to not mess with his sensitive nose but sweet enough to keep him wanting more. He wants all of you. Right now. “I thought I’d make the atmosphere nice and warm for us since it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to be alone together,” you say smiling brightly. You dig into your food ignoring your very erect boyfriend. “You aren’t hungry baby?” you ask with a slight pout. He shakes his head slowly and scans your body up and down, seeing that you’ve foregone a bra. Your nipples poke through the little tank top you’ve thrown on and he desperately wants to lean down and put them in his mouth.

You snicker at how obvious he’s being. You knew he’d get like this as soon as he saw you. You’re surprised he didn’t crumble and fall to his knees the moment you kissed him. There had been many nights throughout these past few weeks where he’d text you alluding to wanting to see you, touch you, taste you, anything. All of which you would shut down and sternly tell him to not touch himself. “The only one that’s making you cum this month is me, do you understand?” you had firmly told him one night. He whimpered and whinily agreed. He’s such a good boy, your good boy.

Now with you right in front of him, looking the way that you do, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. You laugh and swallow the last bite of your food and turn to him. “Ok ok, I get it,” you say as you lean in to kiss him. He immediately wants to deepen it but you push him back before he has the chance. “Don’t you want to make a little toast first?” you don’t think he could get any poutier. “If I drink this wine can we have sex after?” you giddily nod and pour your glasses. “To us,” you clink your glasses together and watch as he hastily downs his whole cup. This is definitely gonna be a long night.

Without even considering letting you finish, he dives in for another long kiss. You smile into it and place your glass on the table to focus your full attention on him. Tongues dancing for dominance that he beautifully succumbs to. You climb on top of him slowly and straddle his firm thighs. You’ll never get over how such a strong man will willingly submit to your every whim. He’s so perfect. 

He runs his hands up and down your sides and feels how soft you are. He knows you’ve been insecure about your body in the past, but he’s always loved it. Even before you agreed to be his girlfriend, he’d savor any ounce of physical contact with you if it meant he got to feel your tiny squishy self against his lean muscular form. Your thighs squeeze around his hips and you push your heat against his straining bulge. He moans wantonly. This is what he’s been craving. Your warmth on top of him. The only thing that could make this better is you letting him inside of you to feel it completely. He bucks his hips into yours to hint at what he wants. But you know, you’ve known since before he walked into your place. If he had things his way, he would’ve picked you up and taken you on the front door. But he enjoys the teasing and the waiting. He enjoys the thrill of not knowing what’ll happen next. He enjoys anything you’ll allow him. 

Your kisses descend upon his jaw and neck as his cold hands fiddle with the hem of your tank top. He gives you a pleading look, silently asking if he can take it off, which causes you to nod as an affirmative. He quickly takes it off and leans back to do the same to his own shirt. Seeing his bare chest will forever be a treat for you. You're sure he could say the same if his ogling of your boobs is anything to go by. “You’re so pretty,” he sighs. His pupils dilate as he softly squeezes them in his hands. “Wanna suck on them,” he mumbles. You giggle and tell him to go ahead which he does swiftly. There’s something lethargic about watching him suck and play with your nipples. Even when not in a sexual context, he likes to have you in his mouth absentmindedly. You’re starting to think it’s become a comfort thing for him. He looks so at peace. His cold fingers contrast his warm tongue and it only adds to your pleasure. You rock against him harder which causes him to part from your nipples to whine. 

“Please- please can I be inside of you? I need it, I’m so full angel please,” he rushes out. “You wanna fill me up baby?” you respond gently, cupping his face with your hands. His doe eyes framed by your fresh set of acrylics is such a pretty sight to see. He nods and whispers another please. He looks so good when he begs. You wish you could take a mental screenshot of this moment.

You get up to discard your shorts and lacy pink panties while he impatiently just tugs his pants and boxers down to his knees. You’ve decided he’s had enough teasing for the night and quickly guide his throbbing length inside your embarrassingly wet pussy. He lets out a sob as you bottom out on him completely. You give yourself a brief second to adjust and let him recuperate from everything that happened in the last 60 seconds or so. You give him a small peck and ask if he’s ready, to which he replies with a soft yes and squeezes your hips for emphasis. With that, you slowly lift your hips and plop back down with a quickness. He’s so fucking big; not only is he long, but he’s slightly thick too. He’s always leaving your poor pussy sore but he fills you so fucking well you can’t find it in you to care. You set a fast pace as you’re overcome with your own need to feel good. You can’t wait for him to cum inside you. The moment you told him you were on birth control and that you were ok with him finishing inside he almost lost his mind. You’ve come accustomed and even excited to feel his love filling you in the most physical way. 

His hands grip your hips firmly as he throws his head back and takes the pleasure he’s receiving. You’re squeezing around him tightly and bouncing up and down on him so swiftly, he feels like he’s basking in the glows of heaven. “Ahh ____ you’re gonna milk it out of me fuck,” he moans loudly. His voice tends to heighten in pitch whenever he’s close and his eyes start to water as if he’s on the verge of bursting into tears. This however, only encourages you to get him there quickly. You wanna see tears streak down his face as he releases two weeks’ worth of cum inside of you. You bet he has so much. It might even overflow. With this thought, you move even faster, telling him to keep his eyes on you. “Don’t close your eyes baby, I wanna see those pretty eyes when you cum inside me ok?” you tell him. He tries his hardest to keep his eyes open, but the tears in his eyes cloud his vision. He blinks profusely in an attempt to clear them. He wants you to be the only thing he sees. He’s gonna cum any second now. It feels too good, you’re overwhelming his senses and he can’t hold it anymore. “____! I- fuck I’m cumming I’m cumming I”m sorry I can’t hold it,” his revere breaks as you feel spurts of warm cum release deep in your heat. You gasp and furrow your brows as you halt your movement. Pleasure racks through both of your bodies as you both cum together. You rock your hips back and forth to ride it out but it only causes him to whine loudly in overstimulation. He wants to go again. He still has more to give you.

“Keep going please I still have more,” he says breathily. Unfortunately for him, you are far too tired to keep riding him. Your legs are sore and you’ve frankly overexerted yourself. ‘Maybe I should take up on his offers on going to the gym,’ you think offhandedly. You place your head next to his ear and pant, “Fuck me baby, c’mon. Do whatever you want.” It’s almost as if a flip switches in his brain as he’s given permission to fuck you in any way he pleases. At this, he grips his hips and lifts you up slightly to pound his cock into you. His balls slap against your soft pussy as he sets a quick pace. You feel like a little doll with the way he fucks into you. You can’t help but notice that even when he’s fucking you like this, manhandling you into any position he wants, he’s still whining and looking at you with complete and utter adoration. He pulls you in to give you a sloppy kiss as he cums for the second time that night. He moans into your mouth as you feel the tears that seem to continuously fall from his eyes on your cheeks. He pulls away to give you both a chance to breathe. 

His forehead rests against yours as he gasps for breath. You feel his cock twitch inside of you. “Kookie..are you still-” you stop yourself as he buries his head into your chest and cries. “M’ sorry I just- I missed you so much. I’ve been wanting this so bad angel. I just wanna fuck you over and over again. I’ve been saving it all for you. Just like you told me to,” he sobs into you. Your poor baby, he’s been suffering more than you thought he has. You wonder how he would’ve coped had you not have added the dumb “no touching yourself” to your little challenge. Probably by stroking himself to the thought of you every night. You clench at the thought. He lifts his head with widened eyes. You didn’t cum! And he did! How selfish could he be? He gently lifts you off of him and lays you back on the couch. He gives you a big, loving kiss and makes his way downwards. “Wait! Not on the couch, this shit is hard to clean,” you hurriedly say. He smiles bashfully and picks you up to carry you to your room.

It’s like you weigh nothing to him, a sentiment that makes you blush and giggle into his neck. He smiles and pecks your head before he flops you down on your soft sheets (that’ll definitely need to be washed thoroughly once he’s done with you). He gets down on his knees and looks up at you. You are nothing but a goddess in his eyes. The love of his life. He’ll do anything for you. You stare back at him and card your nails through his hair, gazing at him tenderly. This is exactly how it should be. Him on his knees staring up at you in awe, and you, pushing his head straight to your cum-filled pussy. You’d laugh if he didn’t instantly wrap his lips around your swollen clit. 

He runs his tongue up and down your cunt, cleaning it the best he can whilst simultaneously trying to get you to climax on his tongue. He fucks his tongue into you as he brings his chilly fingers to your clit. You yelp and moan loudly. “Fuck yes, just like that baby. That’s so good,” you praise. His bright eyes look up at you as he rubs your slick bud in circular motions, his tongue never stopping its pace inside. He parts from between your thighs briefly to whisper to you “Please cum for me angel. Wanna make you feel good,” and goes back to eating you with intent. That does it for you, you see a burst of white behind your eyelids as you cum messily on his face. This has got to be the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had, as you can’t stop shaking and trembling. He kisses your shaky thighs and caresses them softly to bring you back down.

He kisses his way back up to your face to check if you’re ok. “You alright?” he asks delicately. He pecks all over your face as he sees you slowly but surely come back to him. When your eyes flutter open, you’re shocked to see that his face is drenched. “Did I…,” he smiles brightly and nods. “I made you squirt angel,” he says with a grin. He’s lucky he’s cute, otherwise you’d be extremely annoyed with his cockiness. He looks so proud of himself though, so you’ll let it slide this one time. While you’d love to just pass out and deal with the mess later, you can’t help but notice the incessant hardness poking your stomach. “One more?” you question. He pouts once more and nods with pleading eyes. “Just one more, I promise,” he says. You relent and turn over on your stomach, maybe if he goes easy on you, you can even rest a little while he reaches his peak. But this is Jungkook, of course that’s not going to happen.

He grips your hips and hikes your ass up to get you into just the position he wants. He’s kind enough to put a pillow underneath you so as to not strain your back as much. The tip of his cock has been leaking ever since he got on his knees to eat your pretty pussy that he loves, and the throbbing was starting to become painful. He runs his dick through your folds to slicken himself up and whimpers when the tip catches onto your slit. With a soft kiss to your back, he thrust himself inside. Since he’s eaten you and stretched you so thoroughly, there’s no need for you to adjust, so he starts jackhammering into your cunt right away. He still feels so full, he loves the sound of his fat balls pounding away your plush little pussy. When he feels this good, he can’t seem to keep quiet.

“Mmmm this is so good, so fucking good. I’m so sorry baby, I can’t stop. I wanna fill you over and over. Look so pretty with my cum stuffed inside of you,” and here come the waterworks. He’s so sensitive, fucking you like this almost hurts. But he can’t stop, not until he’s completely empty. His thrusts are nothing short of quick and concise. He loves when you let him use you like this. Nothing but sounds of your wetness, his balls pattering against your bud, and the sounds of your combined moans run throughout the small apartment. You’re definitely gonna get another noise complaint.

“Baby, you can slow down it’s ok, don’t overwork yourself,” you plead. His tears almost make you want to stop him altogether and give him a chance to calm down. Jungkook, on the other hand, has no intentions on stopping. “No! I can’t, I need to keep going! Please don’t make me stop I wanna cum again please please please,” he sobs. He’s so close, he can feel it swirling in his stomach. He just needs a little more and then he can finally milk all the cum he’s been saving for you out of him. You, incidentally, are close to cumming too. In fact, you’re learning that this feeling you’re experiencing is that you’re about to squirt again. “Koo- oh my god, I- baby I’m gonna-” you stumble. “Me too, me too, fuck. Let go angel, make a mess on me again,” he rushes out as his thrusts increase. He spits on his fingers and runs them along your hard little bud. You try to muffle your scream into your pillows as you release all over his chest and your sheets. Seeing and feeling you squirt all over him causes him to reach his climax as well. He pumps every last bit of cum that he has inside your battered pussy as he thanks you profusely. Just as you expected, it overflows and drips back down your thighs. Jungkook collapses as softly as he can on top of you as you both breathe heavily. His cock finally softens and he reluctantly pulls it out as gently as he can. 

As he heavily plops himself down next to you, he sees that you’ve knocked out, already snoring lightly. He chuckles and pulls you into his chest. “Thank you angel. I love you, so so much,” he whispers. This is exactly what he wanted for Christmas. You safe in his arms and full of his cum.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

(submitted 5/26/24)

I (22X) have a lot of anxiety about politics (namely the upcoming presidential election and its potential consequences regarding my access to healthcare, among many other things). It started in 2016 and then just kept getting worse and worse as the years went on. I know that if I try to go about my day as normal on election night, I’ll most likely end up obsessively refreshing polling results and worrying myself into a panic attack (or several). So, I did a lot of research and planned a week-long vacation on and a bit after election day. It’s at a nice cabin a short drive away that’s all about disconnecting from phones and technology and reconnecting with nature. I figured because everyone in my family votes absentee already, me and my mom (56F) could go up together while my dad and my oldest sister (63M and 25F) would stay home because of work obligations and take care of our pets. My mom was really enthusiastic about the idea (especially because I went on a vacation with my dad last year, and it’s been a long time since her and I have had a parent child bonding trip), and she helped me finalize the dates and pay for the cabin. I’m in college and haven’t been able to find a summer job, but I’m still trying to save money to help cover the cost of food/entertainment/gas for the trip.

When we were booking, she talked about potentially inviting my sister (24F) on vacation too, as a family bonding thing. She moved out a year and a bit ago and is living with a friend, so my mom doesn’t get to see her all that often. But I really don’t want my sister to come along. Me and her haven’t gotten along since elementary school, and now whenever she visits I’m on edge the whole time. Plus, she has a very old special needs dog that she would have to bring with her that needs constant supervision, and his energy wildly varies between “sleeps in a ball all day” and “blindly runs around screaming and peeing everywhere and getting stuck like a roomba all day”. Which again, that’s very stressful to me. In addition, whenever my sister is over at our house, she always finds a way to bring up politics and wants to talk about current events (never the good ones, only the bad ones). Thankfully we agree on the important things (even if she leans a tad more towards the center than I do), but still. The whole point of this trip is to avoid having to worry about politics, and she always finds a way to bring it up. Plus, I just genuinely think she’d go stir crazy being cooped up in a cabin with me and my mom and poor cell service. There’s not a lot to do in the surrounding area besides hiking (she’s got a heart condition), a small Main Street with some shops that’s a 15 minute drive away, and a diner. It’ll probably just be reading, board games, and cards for a week straight.

Why I think I’d be TA: my mom and her don’t spend a lot of time together, and my mom is the one paying for the vacation. Even though I think she wouldn’t like glamping with us, my sister could still want to be invited and want to come along.

Why I think I wouldn’t be TA: I don’t think my sister would like being in a cabin with me and my mom for a week straight with no TV and poor cell service. My oldest sister is also not going on vacation with us due to work obligations, so they could have some sisterly bonding time while we’re away. Plus, the entire point of the vacation is to have a few days where I don’t have to dread election results, and I know my sister is going to want to talk about election results as soon as they start coming in.

So, would I be the asshole if I asked my mom not to invite my sister on vacation with us?

[toomuchracket]

sneaking out (matty x reader smut)

day 15 of promptober, and part 2 of this blurb i really liked! this isn't actually part of any of my established universes (shocking, i know), and it's the first time i've ever written any sort of sub/switchy matty, but fear not - the toomuchracket staples of him being simpy as fuck and some secret pining are present! basically, you haven't seen your old fwb in a minute, and neither of you can resist leaving the main event for a chance to reconnect... it's filthy, hope you enjoy <3

"matty, babe, do you actually know where you're going?"

"haven't a fucking clue, sweetheart," comes matty's cheerful reply, as he tugs you through the doorway out of the main exhibition. with a look to the right then the left to make sure you're both alone, your back is suddenly pressed against the cold wall, matty's hands are at the back of your head, and his lips are on yours.

fuck. you've missed this. you tell matty as much - gasping for air between words, clinging to his shoulders just to keep yourself tethered to reality - and he smiles and says he has, too. it's an odd association, but his eyes remind you of melting chocolate when he says it. warm. comforting. inviting. sweet.

you don't tell him that, though, because he'd (rightfully) rip the piss out of you. instead, you make a little kissy face, and preen internally at the speed and enthusiasm with which matty kisses you again. his hands flatten, gliding over the expanse of your velvet-covered back and down the contours of your hips, before suddenly gripping your bum. the motion shocks a moan from your lips, and matty smiles against them as he uses his grip on you to push the fronts of your bodies together.

he's hard. 

your ego skyrockets so quickly it threatens to break the sound barrier. four years apart, and you can still make matty healy pop a boner after only three kisses? incredible. you feel yourself smiling - no, smirking - into his lips, hand trailing down his suited body to scope out your handiwork.

matty groans as you touch him, pulling away from your lips to talk. he grins cutely, at total odds with the kneading routine his hands are doing on your arse. "i really wasn't kidding when i said i'd missed you."

you open your mouth, and the name escapes it before you even have time to think about what it might mean. "good boy."

"oh, fuck," matty whines, burying his head in the crook of your neck. he presses little kisses to the skin there and across your exposed collarbone, savouring the trace of your (familiar) perfume under his lips. despite the fact you're flush against him, his hips seem to grind of their own accord against yours; anytime there's a hint of friction, matty's breath shakes.

in short, you've fucked him up. big-time. and isn't that just delicious?

"mmm, baby," you moan, half from how hot his reaction is and half from how good his kisses - now trailing towards the plunging neckline of your dress - feel. with just enough pressure that he groans against you again, your nails rake up matty's back and entangle themselves in his curls. when you tug on them, he bites down on the exposed side of your tit with a whine; he soothes you with his tongue, while you soothe him with soft circles on his scalp. "have you missed being a good boy for me?"

matty nods against you, but it's not enough. you pull him back up by the hair to look at you, and jesus fucking christ, what a sight he is to behold. his lips and cheeks are both bright red, his jaw is dropped and quivering slightly, and the beautiful chocolate warmth of his eyes is almost invisible, so dilated with lust for you are his pupils.

he looks fucked, and you've barely touched him.

the mere sight of him is enough to get you (more) wet. you could give up now, pull him into another room with something you can bend over, let him flip up your dress and ease the presumably agonising pressure in his trousers. it would be good for both of you, great, even, you know that firsthand. 

but you're having too much fun taunting him to give up now, so you keep one hand in his hair, and ghost the nails of the other one down matty's face to hold his jaw. "need you to use your words for me, gorgeous."

matty nods vigorously. "missed it so much, missed you so much. haven't been good for anyone else."

"only me?"

"only you."

and you believe him. it took a while - almost two years, out of the four you were… whatever you were - for you to get through to matty that it feels good to relinquish control sometimes, so you're not totally surprised he hasn't done it with anyone else. a weird cocktail of emotions washes over you: pride, and satisfaction, yeah, with a hint of affection, and then a bitter melancholic aftertaste. he was never yours, in the traditional exclusive sense, but at least you have that tiny little bit of ownership and power and claim over him.

no. you can't let feelings get in the way of this arrangement.

not again.

you force out a smile, which does actually become genuine when you consider the way matty's looking at you. he's doe-eyed, desperate… and it's all for you. that makes you happy.

and you want to make him happy, too. but first, you want to kiss him again, so you do. he returns it with aplomb, cradling the back of your spinning head and moaning into your mouth. 

matty whines when you break the kiss, but he shuts up the noises of complaint when you start to unbutton his shirt, crouching and kissing down his chest as you go. "sweetheart, what are you doing?"

you look up at him, all blinking eyes and curls falling over his face. fuck, he really is beautiful, especially like this. "rewarding my good boy," you say, as innocently as you can muster, while you pull your dress up over your knees and settle onto them on the marble floor. "if he wants me to, that is."

"he does," comes the groaning reply from above you.

"good. missed having you in my mouth, sweet boy," you smile as you unbutton matty's trousers. pulling them and his boxers down just enough to free his mouth-wateringly hard cock, you lick over his hip tattoo with a flat tongue to tease him, before working your hand over where he needs you most. the noise he makes is heavenly. "i'd brace yourself on the wall, if i was you, baby."

matty's no sooner done as you advise before you're dragging your tongue up the underside of him and sucking his tip into your mouth. "shit!" he hisses, turning to use his own arm to muzzle himself. 

the motion reminds you that you're still in public, and a rush of heat hits your core alongside the realisation hitting your brain. huh. that's new. although, you think, maybe the public aspect is less sexy just because you might get caught, and more so because you might get caught specifically with matty. for a brief moment, someone else might know he's at least somewhat yours.

that's a can of worms to be opened another time, though. and if you do get caught… you at least want it to be good. so, you take a deep breath and then more of matty into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as much as possible as you suck him off. he whines your name into his arm as you do, and it takes everything in you not to slide the hand not wrapped around the base of his cock into your underwear and get yourself off too. this is about him, right now. you'll have your fun later. you know it. you know matty.

besides, his knees are jerking so much that they might give in at any second, so you wrap your free arm around one to keep matty steady. he whispers a thank you in between his breathy moans, and you look up at him and wink in response; he giggles, pretty face cracking into a beautiful, albeit exhausted smile, and you can't help but giggle back around his cock. the vibration seems to rocket right through his body and leaves it as a choked moan, which only eggs you on further - with a final squeeze of his base, you wrap your other arm around his other leg, and use the leverage to slowly take even more of him into your mouth and throat.

the effect it has on matty is visceral. you can't look up to see his face, but if you had, you would've watched his jaw drop a full beat before the throaty groan left it. on some sort of base instinct, his hands fly to your head; as soon as his fingertips brush your hair, though, matty jerks them back with a series of whimpers. "m'sorry, i didn't mean it, i won't do it again, i'll be good."

you didn't even have to remind him of the rules. bless him. you reach up to grab matty's hand, rubbing what you think are comforting circles into the skin as you continue to suck him off; you want to calm him down before you take him out of your mouth.

still, though, he panics slightly as you slide off his cock with a pop, frantically murmuring hushed apologies. shushing him softly, you jerk him off slowly as you talk. "shhhh, baby, it's alright. you were such a good boy for me. really."

"but i-"

"you touching me isn't the reason i've stopped, baby," you coo, kissing the hand you're still holding. "well, it kinda is, but i'm not doing it for punishment - i'm asking if you want to take over."

matty blinks a few times. "really?"

"mhmm," you nuzzle your head into his thigh cutely (you hope, anyway). "you've been good for me, and now i want to be good for you."

"you've already been good, though. you literally sucked my dick in the corridor outside a classy event."

you sigh, frustrated. "don't make me ask you, matty."

he smirks. fuck, you almost forgot how quickly he could switch. he's almost as good at it as you are. "well, a good girl would ask…"

"alright," you sit back on your heels, quickly pressing a kiss to the head of his cock before letting go of it completely and resting your hands in your lap. "will you please pin me to the wall like you promised earlier, and fuck my throat until you cum?"

matty closes his eyes and inhales deeply; on his exhale, he slides his fingers into your hair and tilts your head up so you can look at him. "whatever my good girl wants, she'll get."

fuck.

"thank you, baby," you tilt your head further to kiss the palm of his hand, and he smiles. "can i do something really quickly before we begin?"

matty nods, then gasps as you slide the straps of your dress down your arms, the fabric folding down over your chest and exposing your tits. you giggle. "i figured things might get messy. don't want my beautiful dress getting ruined."

"it is a beautiful dress. beautiful dress for a beautiful girl," matty smiles, hand tenderly cradling your jaw. his eyes light up the way they do when he gets an idea, and he quickly shimmies his suit jacket off and folds it, placing it behind your head to cushion it slightly against the wall. "and we have to protect that beautiful head of yours, don't we? s'my favourite, after all."

"my actual head, or the head i'm about to give you?"

matty smiles sweetly. "both."

you don't think he's being totally sincere, but whatever. you can at least pretend. so you smile just as sweetly back. "thank you. can i make you feel good, now?"

"of course, sweetheart. i don't think i'll last long, considering how well you already sucked my dick, but tap my thigh three times if it's too much, yeah?"

"yeah."

"good girl," matty crouches, kissing you so quickly you barely have time to react - before you know it, he's back up, cock in hand. "open your mouth for me, angel. and don't forget to breathe."

the pet name is so incongruous with what you're doing that you almost laugh, but you don't. instead, you oblige, dropping your jaw and sticking your tongue out. your eyes flick up to matty's in invitation, and neither of you break eye contact as he holds your head steady and slowly slides back into your mouth. you moan in tandem as he does, your eyes fluttering shut in composure to try and stop yourself gagging at the feeling of him curving down your throat.

matty stops when your nose meets his lower stomach, holding you there for a few seconds to let you get used to the feeling of him so deep inside you again. your breath is shaky through your nose, and he strokes your hair softly as he speaks. "doing so fucking well for me, sweetheart, you feel fucking perfect. you doing ok, my lovely girl? want me to keep going?"

it's a challenge, but you manage to mouth a "please" around him. drool falls from your lips as you do, hitting your tits and pooling on them. matty breathes out a "fuck, i'm definitely not going to last long" and slides back almost fully out of your mouth, before repeating the process slightly faster - he's not far off orgasm, you can tell, but he still manages to croak out a "this alright?" and a "good girl, perfect girl" when you hum an affirmative to the former.

god, it's so fucking messy - you're glad you pulled your dress down, because the velvet would've been ruined by the mixture of drool and tears dripping down your face. you fucking love it, though, making matty feel good like this. judging by the way his legs begin to shake, and the way he mutters garbled praises and moans of your name and good girls every time his cock meets your throat, he loves it too.

that, and the way he whines to tell you he's on the precipice of pleasure. "m'gonna fucking cum, sweetheart, m'so fucking close. fuck, you're so good, missed you, missed you taking my dick like this. fucking ruined everyone else for me, fucking dreamt about you every fucking night. shit, angel, m'there. gonna take all my cum, swallow it like a good girl, my good girl."

despite your continuous breathing, your head spins as matty talks. fuck. you need him to cum, need him to coat your throat right now.

with a near-painful hollowing of your cheeks and a final moan around his dick ("yours"), he does, crying out your name far too loudly given the clandestine circumstances you're in. you dig your nails into the back of matty's thighs as he falls into ecstasy, keeping him in your mouth until you're sure he's stopped cumming; once he has, you slowly slide him out of your mouth, careful not to let any of his release leave with him. 

before he can even ask, you open your mouth to let him see it all gathered on your tongue, before closing your mouth and swallowing the salty liquid with a satisfied hum. just to emphasise how good a girl you are, you lick your lips to make sure you get every last drop of him, smacking them together. "missed how nice you taste."

"are you trying to kill me, woman?" matty drags his hands down his face, before taking hold of yours and ushering you to stand - a welcome move, given how long you've been on your knees. as you wrap your arms around his neck, he cups your jaw and kisses you, almost chastely, in stark contrast to the things you both just did. "thank you, sweetheart. i'm sorry i got you so messy, although i think you still look beautiful. you're welcome to clean up at mine, if you like."

you peck his lips. "i would like that, yes. but only if you help me - there's a bit of a mess between my legs that i could use a hand in sorting out."

"mmm, gladly," matty hums, kissing down your neck and between your tits. he looks up at you with a smirk. "wanna see if i can still remember how to make you soak my fingers."

you roll your eyes, even though you feel another gush in your underwear at his words and the way he's taking one of your tits in his mouth. "oh please, you've never met an instrument you couldn't play perfectly with those hands."

you regret the words as soon as you say them. shit. yeah, sure, the whole point of friends with benefits is to treat the other person like some sort of object, but you're not meant to liken yourself to one.

those fucking feelings of yours ruining everything, as usual.

matty detaches his lips from you, straightening up to look you in the eye and bringing the top of your dress up with him. he holds your face tenderly again, pressing his forehead against yours. "you're far more than that to me, sweetheart, you always were," he says softly, and you can't ignore the earnestness in his tone. he tugs you into a warm hug, and brings his lips to your ear. "but i must admit - you make the most beautiful sounds i've ever heard."

you smile over his shoulder, pulling back to look at him and catch his lips in another kiss. there's something different about this one; it's still as passionate as ever, but there's an underlying… softness. "take me home," you murmur against his lips. "please, baby."

another kiss. "whatever my girl wants."

[noacfapologyst]

telltale heart - matty healy. part 1

summary: you and matty have drifted away from each other due to both of your touring and recording. in the same way, time has made you lose more than the other. but in that sense too, it is when a proposal arises that seems taken from a fantasy.

wc: 2,6k

You lock the phone with a long sigh, you don't even try to control it. You should be happy, you know it and you know it's the moment that puts you back on top after past events.

But you can't, because you know everything that comes next. A Grammy nomination is perhaps all you've ever expected in your life, even more so than when that movie soundtrack hit the Oscar, and even though you didn't win it at the award, yoelt the same way. You read the information again, it is not the only nomination you have, since the same song is nominated for the Golden Globes.

It's crazy and immediately you radiate a small smile while you pet your puppy, and then you laugh a lot in your apartment, in the dark. Right at your best moment, when you should be sitting between champagne and bottles celebrating, he decides to throw everything away and not be here.

Your manager calls you early in the morning, congratulates you on the nomination and updates you on issues that honestly could not interest you less. You don't want to think, or maybe you don't allow yourself, about all the anxiety these weeks will bring.

In your head you can already read the news portals made with perhaps too much enthusiasm on the part of the tabloids: The legend that sweeps everything in its path is crowned with nominations for the Grammys, the Oscars and the Golden Globes for the soundtrack of the film of the year! Unstoppable: even with a broken heart it still surprises us!

You take it out of your head, and you try to sleep, but you can't, and you give up. You open your nets and release a general thank you for the nominations and read everything very high up, lately the nightmare has become that: Doing a lot of research causes crisis and tears.

You get out of bed and change your pajamas for something more comfortable to go out with. It's winter, although it's not that cold, so you just confirm with a sweater and some worn jeans. You take the car keys and without warning you drive down the road for a while with only one place on your mind: the study.

When you see the facade of Dirty Hit everything seems to calm down a little bit, you're coming home, or going back to it. You never get separated, maybe because you live 15 minutes away, or maybe it's because you and your best friends went into that studio in the same year and grew up inside, practically. The aura envelops you, it's familiar, it's homely, and you allow yourself to blink a little more while feeling some tears fall.

You don't try to dry the drops of water off your face, it's almost 3:00 in the morning and there's no one for miles around. You pass your card through the reader and open the door, letting the smell of poorly roasted coffee and cleanliness reconnect you to your most vivid memories. Where you were happier, less known, and you didn't have to try to look cheerful all the time. Those were better times, no doubt.

You go up the elevator, not without first leaving a note at the front desk clarifying that you entered with the security key, and that you had to come to record something beforehand, so as not to generate thoughts about some theft or something like that. Inside the elevator, you look in all directions, and you realize that your hair is disastrous. You make a bow as much as you can and point to the second floor.

There are lights on everywhere, but you don't think it's worrying. Then you open the door, and you do nothing but feel your heart fall on the tip of your tongue, you melt.

Your best friend is with his back to you, on the controls playing buttons nonstop trying to find a sound that will stand out from the rest, it has always been and you can't expect anything else. There's a trail of coffee cups that reveal how many hours she's been here, but everything falls apart when you see her figure reflected in just a flash of light.

Her curls are out of control, perhaps because she hasn't had time to adjust them. He's got a sweater and a messy pair of pants, but he's still fantastic. Although he has a stronger skin tone, he's been tanning since the last tour. You haven't had a chance to see it, as much as you wanted, since the fame came to them everything has become shorter and harder to program.

But right now, nothing else matters. No tabloids, no insufferable managers, it's just him and you. Just like old times.

You walk quietly to keep him from getting scared, and then you run your arms under his ribs sucking his perfume in motion, grasping him tightly from behind as you feel him startled by the sudden fright. Then calm down as you raise your hand and notice your distinctive rings; the one he gave you when you were 11, and the one he gave you when you were 20, engraved on silver with your initials.

"Please, tell me that you are really here." Ask, without moving. "Please, tell me that you are really here." He asks, without moving, as if he's afraid to break the moment. You let go of the grip a little bit and you put your head on one of his shoulders, and you kiss his cheek.

"Hey, Matty." You smile, and then he turns around so he can see you. When the grip breaks, he takes you in his arms and brings you close enough to him. Stir your hair and finally part.

It takes a while to appreciate you without taking the silly smile off her face. You smile the same, you know for a long time that you've fallen for him, anything I do will make you smile. You love him, you've accepted it already. But you've accepted the other part too: that he does, but as a friend. There's nothing more.

"You're such a winner, congrats for the nominations." You come out of the trance and look at him. - He's noticed?! - Smile, maybe that's the compliment you want most.

"Did you see it?" You take a seat on the small sofa in the living room, without missing the opportunity to follow the steps with your eyes.

"Nope, I was absorbed the whole day here." Answer with the obvious. "But I don't need to watch it, I just knew you would become nominated. The song is amazing, if they didn't if they didn't give you this, I would have personally gone to burn the jury."

If you couldn't control your tears in the elevator, this becomes like a joke. You climb up for yourself, and you look at him with all the truest love you have for him. You've missed him these months, you've needed him.

"Dont be modest." You stick out his tongue and lay your head on the sofa."I have missed you, a lot. The infidelity thing was really hard."

"Oh, honey. I missed you, too." It makes a semi-pout and again you feel your heart falling. He's looking for something in the study because he crosses his eyes, until he finds his box of cigarettes."I need to stop, lets go outside and then you can tell me." He proposes, and you nod quickly.

They leave the studio in a quiet that is not uncomfortable, the night is at its best and you wish you could say the same about both, but each looks like the end of a car race, and whatever you prefer, it's more natural.

They walk to the largest window on the second floor, and with a little effort they manage to open it. They both rest their arms on the brown frame and are enveloped by the dawn breeze.

You smile nonstop and take advantage of every second to gaze at what has been your person all your life. Every moment you spend next to him has become a torture knowing that you can't just run off to kiss him or tell him you love him and you'd see everything fall overboard just to be next to him.

You've seen every single one he's put in his room, the ones he's taken out, the ones he's worked with and the ones he hasn't. You've been a part of everything, but never the way you want to be. For your part, you've tried everything to swallow your feelings for him, but when you're alone, he's the only person you want to be with, and when you have someone, he never feels the way he should feel.

It's crazy when you think about it because you're one of the most famous british girls in the world, and you could have whoever you like in your bed or in the bed of some fancy hotel. You could sleep with the most acclaimed actor, the best businessman, and yet, you can't really have the person you love, even if you've melted your heart into him. The person you've fantasized about more times than you've been awake is not yours at all, while you are his in the whole.

A touch on your shoulder distracts you from the whole cataract of thoughts. "Hey, you were here a few moments ago."

"I'm here, I promise." You raise your shoulders and support the right on the frame as you turn to stand sideways. "I was just....thinking."

Take one of the cigarettes out of the box, bringing it to your mouth, and then close the lighter to light it. "So, I'm all ears."

"I don't know Matty. It was really a shit." You sigh and automatically teleport to the day you found out. "Imagine, you are in a interview for a magazine and when you are going back to your home, you see in twitter that your boyfriend has cheating on you." You sigh a little tired, after all he was one of your best boyfriends and you loved him enough to let it not affect you. "And, of course, it was a photo." You see him blow off the smoke in a puff and then turn around to see you, with a pretty sad facial expression. "Finally, the guy you've dating six months has the best idea: telling you that you bored him and he doesn't love anymore."

You could count more, but it's enough. You breathe and stick your head out under the window to feel the fresh air. When you come back, you see in slow motion how their expression goes from worry to anger and hatred. In the middle it takes another puff, and then exhales in front of the moon. Every time you see him smoking, he looks so alive, so human, and so easy to desire. You often wonder how his lips would feel.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry." He approaches with a step, cutting the distance between the two. There is a moment of doubt when the two find themselves in a contest of furtive glances on the lips, but no one has the initiative to go one step further. Neither of them would ruin it, because neither of them knows that they actually feel the same way. "I'm really sorry, darling. You don't deserve someone to treat you like that."

"Whatever, Matty." You know with one move you could have it all, but it hurts to have to let it go.

You. He. An empty study. Moonlight through the window. Your lips and his lips. Well, maybe you can write a song about them.

"Do you know the worst part?" He plants a kiss on your forehead and then makes his retreat backwards. He shakes his head listening to you carefully. "I don't have an appointment for the awards, they will put me with anyone I don't know. He will go, I'm sure, to someone much better. And it will be hell." You consider that your concern is actually far from being it, maybe they're just taking it too hard. "Sorry, it's stupid."

"Actually I get it." He looks at you with a smile full of honesty mixed with tranquility. He's so peaceful when he doesn't have cameras on him, he's such an easy person to take refuge in. "Fame is dark."

"Don't even say it." For the first time in a long time, you're fully aware of how silly the tone of the conversation is.

"I could be your date, if that's what you're worried about." He proposes after a while, as if it were the most obvious and easiest answer in the world. He rejoices at the way your cheekbones contract and your eyebrows go down looking at him with confusion.

"Wow...wait, what?" Your head now looks like a maze. All wires mixed without a connector in between. You're sure he's kidding you.

"I'm being serious." It seems to read your mind, but maybe it just decipher your face. "Look, you have the option of going with someone you don't know. Or I can go with you and make it easier for you."

Could you ever even get to Matty? Your answer then comes when he winks at you with a head move mixed in an obvious laugh. You can't tell him that maybe all you've ever wanted is to have him on an official date, or have him on an official date until the day you leave the world, it's not a moment you want to ruin like that. But even so, he still fulfills everything you've ever dreamed of him.

Both coming to a red carpet. The yellowists go crazy because someone of such a corrupt and controversial reputation shouldn't go hand in hand with someone with such a delicate demeanor as yours, with such formality and finesse. Networks explode, they've got them on the headlines for days. You and Matty laughing from the inside, refugees at each other. And even if it wasn't official as a couple and they were just friends, would there be anything better to ask for?

"The offer won't last forever, honey."

"Fine. I'll accept it." You roll your eyes dramatically and then take up your previous posture. "I'm joking. I would love for you to come with me to the awards." You get up and you stretch. Then you kiss his cheek and smile silly at her without hiding the emotion about it. You think it's not so hard to find out that you're in love with him sometimes like that. "Thank you for this Matty."

"It's gonna be funny." He takes off and starts walking when he suddenly yawns. "I think I'll back home. You eat?" They both walk towards the elevator when they turn off the butt, you turn your head down.

"I don't think so. I want to try to record something, or write." You explain when they get into the elevator, in a couple of seconds you're back on the floor from the beginning.

"Good look with that and good night honey." He gives you a final kiss on the cheek before he leaves. "Oh and...I love how the red color looks on you." He raises his voice taking advantage of the lack of people and disappears through the doors.

Then the red dresses your cheeks.

this is my first fanfic here so i hope you enjoyed it. please let me know that you think about and make me know if you want to be in the taglist.

see you soon 🤍

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

More Than 7 Minutes in Heaven Part 2 - Rafe Cameron x Reader Smut

Part 1

NOT PROOFED

The people have spoken, so here is part 2.

Summary: Rafe talks you through the real deal. READER IS ON BC!! USE PROTECTION PLEASE!

Warnings: language, smut, mild praise and degrading, reader gets called princess, RAFE IS A CONSENT KING IN THIS!!!!

Yall, I think this may be my best fucking work ngl.

After your escapades in the bathroom, which lasted wayyyyy longer than seven minutes, you and Rafe decided to get out of the party and back to Tannyhill.

You paid no mind to the whoops and hollers from Rafe's friends as the two of you walked by, thoughts solely focused on your boyfriend and what he had just given you. And what he was going to give you again.

He unlocked his truck and helped you inside. The anticipation of what was to come was eating away at the both of you. You could tell Rafe was antsy, his tight grip on the steering wheel was proof of that.

The two of you were silent, which added to the desperation in the air. Through your stolen glances at your boyfriend, you could see that he was nervous. You had seen Rafe nervous about many things, his family, Cameron Development, and everything that went down with Barry last year, but you had never seen him nervous around you. It calmed you down in a way, that he was as anxious as you.

Rafe seemed to get his act together and glanced at you, fingers drumming on your thighs, the thighs he was between not 15 minutes ago, the thighs he needed to be in between again... His right hand reached over the console to grab yours. You met his eyes at the sudden contact and he gave you his signature Rafe Cameron smirk, sending all of the things you were feeling in the bathroom right back down to...

His hand squeezes yours, bringing you back to reality. You've arrived at Tannyhill and Rafe is desperate to get you out of the car and into his room, desperate to get back between your thighs. His other hand brushes your cheek, turning your face to his. He leans in as if to kiss you but pauses, centimeters from your face, teasing you.

“So, what do you wanna do, princess?” Your breath catches. You had thought he was going to kiss you. Rafe's hand brushes your cheek, down your neck, and continues further, until it rests on your thigh.

"Rafe..."

He grins.

"What, baby?" He's surprised by his own self-control, as it is taking all of it to not fuck you in his truck. But you deserve the best, and that's what he'll give you, even if it means pushing his self-control to its limit.

Instead of responding, you lean forward to press your lips against his. His hands immediately pull your body over the center console and onto his lap. Rafe pulls away from you.

"Impatient, are we? C'mon princess, let's get you inside so I can take care of you." Something rushed through your veins at his words, sending anticipation coursing through your body. With that, he reconnects your lips.

Through the kissing, Rafe manages to get the two of you out of his truck and into Tannyhill. Once upstairs in the privacy of his bedroom, though no one else is home, he turns so your back is against his closed door. Rafe's mouth places hot kisses down your jaw and neck. Your hips roll into his and he backs away.

"Rafe!"

"M'so sorry, baby. Soon. I just have to taste you again." He mumbles into your neck before sinking back onto his knees.

Your heart picks up speed as you watch him below you, his hands gently lifting your leg to position it over his shoulder. His gaze catches yours and he grins before delving into your heat.

He keeps eye contact as he eats you out, which is the sexiest thing you've ever seen. You didn't dare break his gaze. But then,

Your head slams back against the door as his lips wrap around your clit, pulling at it. The moan that leaves your throat is strangled, his talented tongue overwhelming your senses.

Your hands grasp his head, forcing him further into you, his nose bumping your clit. He grins into your cunt at the release of your moan.

"Mmph vmm gmm." The vibrations of Rafe's muffled words bring you over the edge and he drinks up every last bit.

He rises from the floor, hands settling on your waist. His smile is wide and his face is wet with your release.

"What did-" You pause to catch your breath. "What did you say?" Rafe licks his lips.

"I said that you taste good." Your face flushes as you are suddenly very aware of what just happened. Shivers race through your body as you think about the sight of Rafe in between your legs, how'd it feel to feel him push into you, stretching your tight cunt out...

"Babe?" His hands are now placed on the door next to your head. "Whatcha thinkin' bout?" The amusement is evident on his face and you look away in embarrassment. "Princess, what were you thinking about just now?" He leans in closer, sending your heart racing.

"Nothing..." Your voice is in a low whisper which makes Rafe chuckle.

His hand moves to brush against your cheek.

"Is my sweet girl thinking about how she wants to be fucked?" It's odd, the sickly sweet way he's speaking the vulgar words, but it's so fucking hot coming out of his mouth. "You're just so needy, aren't you?" Your body spasms when his fingers brush your sopping cunt, toying with the sensitive skin before rolling your clit between his fingers.

You bring your bottom lip between your teeth to stop the moans threatening to escape.

Rafe, however, is clearly enjoying himself. He loves the sight of you backed against his door, face flushed and body sweaty and hot, from just his fingers and mouth? He loved how responsive your body was to his touch, memorizing the way your eyes rolled back when he pinched your clit lightly.

"Tell me, princess." Your hips act on their own accord, rolling into his hand at the nickname.

Of course, Rafe catches this.

"Oh you like that, don't you?" You feel yourself getting closer to your third orgasm of the night, completely mesmerized by his wrist under your dress. But then, he stops. Your hand immediately grasps his, urging him to continue. "C'mon princess..." He uses the nickname against you and you whimper pathetically. His head dips to your collarbones, kissing them before saying, "Tell me how you want me to fuck you. My bed or against the door. Your decision, baby."

His head raises up and you finally look into his eyes. His fingers pinch your clit once again, a loud moan leaving your throat that goes straight to his dick.

"The bed, Rafe." He grins.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" He doesn't wait for your reply.

He captures you in a kiss before lifting you up and the next thing you know, you are lying down at the edge of his gigantic bed, legs spread, giving him the perfect view of you. He pulls away and runs his tongue over his lips while he looks at you. Watching him sends another wave of heat to your core, something Rafe doesn't miss.

You watch in earnest as Rafe takes his t-shirt off, revealing his glorious body to you. As his hands reach for his belt, you sit up to stop him.

"Can I do it?" The question shocks Rafe but it only adds to his endearment of you.

'Always so eager to please me, aren't ya? Even when I'm takin' care of you." He leans down to kiss your forehead, out of place but it calms you down.

Your hands replace his and unbuckle his belt, pulling the leather out of the belt loops of his pants. You try not to look at the tent in his khakis but it is hard not to miss.

Fuck, he must be huge! You think.

Your hands begin to shake as you unbutton his pants and he stops you.

"Remember, tonight is all about you." His hands find the hem of your dress and he breaks the kiss. "Can I take this off of you?" You nod. "No, I need you to say it, hon."

"Yes, Rafe." It comes out quieter than you had hoped it would. He presses another kiss to your forehead.

Rafe begins to pull the dress up, revealing your body to him and he swears, he almost comes then and there. You just look so goddamn innocent but also so sexy, a fuckin' hell of a combo.

"Can I touch you?" He's taking you in, not wanting to miss a single fucking detail about your naked form. Somehow, you don't feel shy. Rafe is making you feel so safe and special, giving you no reason to hide from him.

"Please..." His eyes briefly flash to yours before he proceeds. His large hands slide over your smooth skin, committing everything about you to memory. His mouth is hot as it kisses down your front, goosebumps erupting in his wake. His hands slide up, tracing under your breasts. He takes them into his hands, careful to not touch your nipples, teasing you the slightest bit.

Your hands rest on his hard shoulders and it urges him on more.

Finally, his lips wrap around your nipple, his fingers rolling the other between them. Your back arches off the bed, hips pressing into his and Rafe's eyes roll. He pulls away.

"If you want this to last you can't go on doing that." You blush. "I want this to be good for you." But you can't take it anymore. You are practically dripping onto the sheets below you.

You pull Rafe in for a kiss.

"Rafe." His face is in between your hands, eyes wide as he looks into your eyes. He looks adorable with his cheeks squished and it makes your heart soar. "This has been good for me, so so good. But if you don't fuck me within the next few minutes..." Rafe is quick to oblige, hands rushing to pull off his pants, all while kissing you senseless.

As Rafe tugs off his boxers, he pulls away. Your breath catches in your throat at the sheer size of him. He's hovering over you before you can blink, kissing right below your ear before whispering,

"Princess..." You can tell he's struggling to contain himself. "Are you sure? Like completely sure?" He moves to look into your eyes, searching for any uncertainty. Your hand pushes his hair away from his face.

"I'm ready." You pull him in for a kiss but he is reluctant. "I promise, Rafe." You murmur against his lips.

You hold your breath as Rafe lines himself up to your entrance and his head drops to your neck as he pushes into you slowly.

Your hands find his shoulders again, nails digging into his tanned skin. Rafe doesn't mind at all, anything to help you through the worst part. He continues pushing into you, eyes screwing shut at how fucking tight you are. Once he bottoms out, he remains still, muscles straining, his grip on your waist tight.

You let the pain settle, trying to keep still as you adjust to the intrusion.

Finally,

"Rafe, you can move." He nods into your neck and begins to pull out, the pleasure that courses through your body is insane. Rafe smiles at your reaction and rolls his hips into yours.

"Fuck, baby." You feel so good around him, your tight cunt pulsating around his thick cock. Your hips involuntarily roll into his and you moan at the feeling.

Pride swells in Rafe's chest. He is making you feel this way. He's the only one who has made you feel this way...

The only one who ever will.

He continues his movements, moving slowly in and out of you.

"Rafey..." You're practically breathless and Rafe wants the sound imprinted in his mind forever. "Faster."

"Faster, huh?" His thumbs are rubbing circles on your hips. "Fuck you're so perfect." Rafe tugs your hips closer to the bottom of the bed and pushes your legs further apart. "My Princess wants it faster?" It's a rhetorical question but you nod anyways. "Then she'll get it faster."

Rafe's hips snap into yours and it's a feeling like no other. His mouth clamps over yours, swallowing all of your moans. Rafe continues his pace, all while kissing the hell out of you.

You feel yourself nearing your climax, spurred on by his thumb making its way to your clit and pressing down on it. You moan into his mouth and he grins in return.

"C'mon, Princess. I know you're close." You writhe beneath him, his words adding to the fire. "So needy for me, huh?" He rolls your clit between his fingers and your body spasms. "Go on, Princess. Come."

As if on command, you come around him. Rafe isn't far after, how could he be with how fucking amazing your warm cunt feels around him?

He rests on his forearms above your head and kisses you again, calming your body down from the high.

"Are you ok?" You smile into the kiss, cupping his face to bring him closer to you.

"It was amazing, Rafey." Rafe blushes at the nickname... Or the praise... Probably both. He kisses you in response.

"So, you like it when I call you Princess?" His Rafe Cameron smirk is back, his usual cockiness returning with it.

The blush across your cheeks is enough of a reply.

ENJOY!

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[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Congrats on 100 followers 🥳 Could i please request Rafael Barba with enemies to lovers/smut? Maybe reader is a detective and they’re constantly butting heads over cases and they’re forced to work together on his office on a case to sort it out and things progress from there 😏

Anon! Thank you so much for this task! It was so nice to write someone thing for Barba again 🫶 I’m so sorry that it took me awhile to get this to you! I started one but didn’t like how it was coming out so I started over and came up with this. It’s a little different than you asked for it’s more lovers-enemies-lovers with smut and a healthy does of everyone’s favorite bestie Carisi! I really hope your enjoying it. If not I can try to write something else for you!

Warning: MDNI 18+ NSFW

Fighting, mentions of alcohol. Undefined age gap. Mentions of therapy. Reconnecting. Strong language. Unprotected P in v. Pet names

You were getting ready to go out, so excited to see your old friends. One of your best friends bands was touring and they were playing in the city tonight. You hadn’t seen any of them since the last time they came through and they called to ask if you’d come out and run their merch table for the night. Rafael wasn’t super happy about you going. With the types of cases he dealt with every day he always worried about you when you went out without him. You didn’t go out often like this unless you had friends coming through to visit.

“What’s the plan again?” he said for piece of mind.

“I’m walking to the venue now while it’s light out to meet up with everyone for a pre show dinner. Then Carisi is going to pick me up after since it’s right near the station and bring me home. If he doesn’t the band will bring me home or I’ll just walk to the station”

“You know I can come pick you up?”

“I know, I asked Carisi because I know you’ve been working so late and are stressed with work, so I’m just trying to let you rest”

“I’m not going to get any rest worrying about you”

“Rafa, I’m going to be fine. This isn’t my first time on earth” you giggled

“I’ve gotta get going to dinner, I love you!” You said as you stopped to give him a big hug and a kiss.

—————-time lapse————

The show had just started and you were all set up at the merch table.

9:30 Carisi: Hey, it’s been a quiet night so I’m out now. You want some company or I can come back later for you.

9:31 (Y/N): yea! Come check out the show, I think you’ll like it. You can help me sell merch!

9:32 (Y/N): I put your name on the guest list. So just give the door guy your name and they’ll let you in.

About 15 minutes later Sonny shows up, a couple drinks in hand. “This is awesome! Are these your friends?” He said excitedly. “I got you a drink if you’d like one”

“Sure, Thank you! My friends are up next”

You didn’t drink much but you, Rafael and Sonny went out for drinks sometimes so he knew what you drank.

Your friends band takes the stage and you guys are having a blast. After they played Carisi bought a round of drinks for the band and the two of you. You were so excited to see him having such a good time and you were excited to have people from both of your worlds together.

You guys were all hanging out around the merch table with the band and this guy comes up and starts talking to you.

“Are you here with anyone? Can I buy you a drink?”

With out thinking you reach for Carisi’s hand, who’s standing behind you. When you do he turns around and puts his arm around you while your still holding his other hand.

“Sorry I’m here with my boyfriend” you said

Carisi pips up with a “beat it pal she’s taken.”

The guy apologizes and walks away. Your thanking Carisi for going along with it when your hear someone yell “what the fuck is going on here” You turn around to see Rafael. “Why is your arm around her?!” He yelled.

“Rafael it’s not what you think, please don’t yell.” You said. You could feel your face turning beat red. Everyone was staring at what was going on.

“Well it certainly looks like you two have something going on behind my back”

“W-what? Rafa do you hear….”

“Get your stuff we’re leaving” he said cutting you off.

The car ride home was silent, neither of you said a word. You just sat there looking out the window not even looking at him. He barely put the car in park before you got out and headed inside to the elevator. He caught up to you while you were waiting for the elevator.

“So your not just not going to say anything?”

“I’m not doing this right now. I’m not going to get into a screaming match with you in the common areas of our building. It’s late, I’m not going to ruin anyone else’s night with this.”

Once inside our apartment he started in again. “So how long have you and Sonny had this thing going on?”

“There’s nothing going on with Sonny”

“Your really going to stand here and tell me that holding hands all cozy with my best friend is nothing?”

“It’s late and I’ve been drinking. I don’t really want to get into a screaming match with you over nothing right now. This guy was bothering me so I told him Sonny was my boyfriend. That’s literally all it is.”

“You expect me to believe that” he sneered

“Jesus Christ Rafa! I’m not fucking Sonny and Sonny is not fucking me! I was just trying to keep myself safe from someone who was bothering me, if you refuse to stop and think about things rationally and listen to me then that’s not my fucking problem.”

“If that’s true, then why the fuck was he there already? I though he was just giving you a ride home” he shouted with so much anger in his voice. The tone of his voice made your eyes well up with tears.

“He texted me part way threw and said it was a slow night, he was out early so he came to the show.

He just stared at you, like he didn’t believe you.

“I don’t know what you want me to fucking say Rafael if you don’t believe me ask Liv. We all know you love talking to her anyways.” You regretted it as soon as it left your lips. You didn’t mean for it to come out that way.

“Don’t ever fucking say that again he shouted before smashing the glass of scotch he had in his hand against the wall.

Compete shock rushed over your face. He had never done anything like that before.

He looked over at you to see you start trembling. You could feel your chest start to feel tight as a rush of dizziness followed right behind it. You knew you were having a panic attack.

“C-Cariño are you ok? I…I don’t know what came over me” his voice cracked.

You couldn’t get any words out, you just sat there trembling with you head in your hands trying to breath normal.

“Are you having a panic attack, let me help you Cariño”

Your head sprang up fast when you heard his foot steps getting closer to you.

“Don’t fucking come near me Rafa” you said putting your hand out to stop him.

He stopped dead in his tracks his eyes filled with tears and regret.

“I need to lay down, this is all to much for me right now, I need to relax so I can get this panic attack to subside.”

“Let’s go to bed” he said reaching out his hand for you.

“I…I’m more comfortable staying out here”

You curled up on the couch and stayed there until he finally shut off the lights and went to bed. You knew he would never be physical with you but the whole situation really shook you up. His wanting to protect you from the world was turning into jealously and it was escalating.

1:10am (Y/n): I’m really sorry about the situation tonight. I didn’t want any of that to happen. I was just trying to be safe.

1:11am Carisi: I’m very sorry too. I’ve never seen him like that before. Are you ok?

1:12 (Y/N): I’m really shook up, we got into a really bad argument once we got home. I really don’t think I can stay here right now. Do you think your brother in law would let you borrow his truck?

1:13 (Y/N): I don’t know where I’m going to go but Rafa and I need sometime apart.

1:15 Carisi: Stay here, you’ll have our own space and all the time you need to figure things out. I insist, I want you to be safe and feel safe. Can I ask did something happen? Did he hurt you? I’ll come there now.

1:15 (Y/N) I can’t do that to you, he already doesn’t believe that nothing was going on he might never speak to you again if I move in there. I don’t want to do that to you. No he didn’t hurt me.

1:16 Carisi: I’m not just his friend. Your my best friend as well. Your like my little sister and to me this is part of the promise I made him a long time ago that if he wasn’t around for any reason I’d do everything in my power to keep you safe.

As you wake up to a knocking on the door, you realize you must of finally let your body fall sleep. As you walk towards the door you hoped it wasn’t one of the neighbors that heard the fight last night. You didn’t even notice what time it was. You were still wearing last night clothes. You must of fallen a sleep in them. You catch your reflection in the mirror in the hallway. Your eyes were puffy and red from crying. You don’t bother checking the peep hole to see who it was. You open the door slowly to see Carisi standing there. “Shit shit shit is it already that time” you though to yourself. You hadn’t gotten any of your stuff ready. Looking down at your feet “I’m really sorry I have nothing ready yet, I woke up to you knocking on the door. I must of finally fallen asleep and not woken up when Rafael was getting ready for work.”

“It ok, I brought some boxes for you, I thought you might need some I don’t mind helping you”

You go into the bedroom and start packing up your clothes and personal items out of the bathroom while Carisi packed up your stuff from the rest of the house. Most stuff was Rafael’s or your stuff together so you didn’t have a ton of just your own stuff. The two of you finished packing and got the truck loaded up. “Go ahead down and I’ll be down in a minute, I want to leave a note for Rafa.”

Rafael,

I think it’s best for us to take a break and for me to not live here right now. I’m truly sorry for what was said on my part to upset you. You are my world but I need to figure out what’s best for me.

♥️ Cariño

The car ride to Carisi’s place was quiet. You were just so mentally and physically exhausted, your heart hurt and you really just didn’t know what to say.

You guys got everything all moved into the your new room, it would just take time to get settled. Carisi had gone out before he picked you up and bought you a bed so that would have one.

You were eating dinner in your room with the door shut. Not because you didn’t want to eat with Sonny but because you were trying to decompress from the last couple of days and just zone out without having to talk. You also didn’t want Sonny to see that you weren’t very hungry because you didn’t want him to worry.

You start To doze off when you hear Rafael’s voice talking to Sonny.

“Do you know where (Y/N) is? She moved her stuff out but I don’t know where she went.”

“She…she is here, but I’m not really sure if she wants to talk to you right now”

“What do you mean?”

“I should of known she was here, where is she? Is she in your bedroom?”

You here foot steps start to move around.

You open your door and step into the doorway.

“It’s ok Sonny I’ll talk to him….as you can see I’m here in my own room. Not in Sonny’s room because once again we’re not together.” You say with complete exhaustion in your voice.

Sonny goes into is room shutting the door to give you privacy but knowing he would come right out if things got heated.

“I got the note you left” he said talking it out of the pocket of his dress pants.

“If your not messing around with Carisi then why did you move in here?”

“Because I needed somewhere safe to live while I figure out what to do.”

Cutting him off as he started to speak.

“And before you start. I’m not saying it’s not safe at home. I’m saying we need some time apart to work on ourselves before we think about getting back together.”

“I-I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why you needed to move out and move in here if nothings going on. We can work things out.”

“If you don’t understand why you smashing a glass against the wall in our kitchen wouldn’t absolutely terrify for me, then I just don’t know what else to say to you. I shouldn’t of made the comment I did about Olivia. I admit that and I’m sorry that I said it, I regretted it the second that I did. But the anger in you voice and in your eyes that night when you threw that glass was scary. I’ve never seen that in you before. You got so heated about a situation you wouldn’t even let me explain to you. So I felt it was best to leave for a while. I love you so much Rafa, but the way our relationship has been functioning for a while now isn’t healthy for either one of us. We both need to work on ourselves if this is going to work. You need to work on not treating everyone in your life like there a victim from one of your cases. You need to trust people more and not work yourself to death constantly. That night I did something I’ve been doing since I first started going out to concerts with my friends, which was tell any guy that was being creepy or making me nervous that I was dating which ever guy friend I was there with so that they would back off or leave me alone. It’s simply something I’ve done to keep myself safe over the years.” By this point tears are streaming down your face. Sonny must hear you crying because he comes out of his room.

“It’s ok (Y/N) go into your room I’ll check on you when he leaves” he says softly before turning to Rafael.

“Think you should go Barba, the last few days have been a lot for the both of you.”

“I-I fucked up so bad Carisi”

“If she needs time and space then give her time and space. It’s apparent to anyone who sees you guys that you two are madly in love. You just need some time apart to work on yourselves and if meant to be, you guys will find yourselves back to each other. Until then I will keep my promise to you and keep her safe anyway I can and make sure she has what she needs.”

t felt good to be back home in Manhattan, you had been back and getting settled in for a week. You had been in (state or country) helping Casey after the birth of her baby and loss of her husband for the last nine months. But you came back when her mom was able to move out there with her. It’s was a nice cool fall day, your birthday was in a couple of days so you decided to go to your favorite coffee shop, grab a drink and wonder around. When you walked in your favorite baristas we’re excited to see you. “(Y/N) your back! Would you like your usual?!” One shouted. You pay and move to the pick up counter to wait for your order.

“Here’s your order (Y/N)” “Thank you, I can’t believe you guys remember my order” you say smiling from ear to ear.

As your putting your straw in your drink you hear a voice from behind you.

“Cariño is that you?”

You don’t even have to turn around to know who it is.

“Rafa!” You exclaim as you turn around with a smile, and without thinking you put arms open to give a hug.

He squeezes you tighter than he ever had before. The biggest smile across his face.

“I’m surprised to see you here” you say.

He blushes a little “ well I started coming here after you left to work on cases…it reminded me of you. I-I didn’t know you were back”

“ I’ve only been back for a week” you reply.

“Would you want to take our coffees and go for a walk around Central Park? I hear the trees are beautiful right now.” He asks nervously rubbing the back of his neck, something he always did when he was nervous.

You grab your stuff turn back around and reply “I would love that” unable to control your smile.

You underestimated how happy you would be to see him, to hear his voice.

“Ok, I’ll grab my stuff and we can go!”the smile never leaving his face.

“Shall we” he says holding his out hand to motion leaving.

“We shall”

He held the door open for you as you guys made your way to the park.

You two wonder around the park chatting. You start fawning over the colors of all the leaves.

He lets out a chuckle with a warm smile.

“What?” You reply chuckling yourself.

“You’re so cute when you get excited about something that you love. It always makes me happy seeing you so happy and filled with excitement about something.”

You blush not really sure what to say. You manage to softly say “Thank you” as you try to stop from completely turning red.

“I always loved our fall trips upstate to go to all the farm stands around your birthday, so we could get all the fall treats”

Him saying fall treats remind you that you have a apple hand pie still from the coffee shop in you purse.

“Well speaking of fall treats” you say pulling the hand pie out of your purse. You both bust out laughing about it.

“Want half?” You say as you break it is half.

“Your so damn funny” he says as he takes the half.

“What can I say I like to make people laugh.” You say teasing.

“Want to go sit by the water and watch the ducks?” You suggest

“Sure, I’d love too” he reply’s

You two find a bench to sit at away from everyone else.

“We’re you back home staying with family when you were away?”

“Oh Sonny didn’t tell you? I thought for sure he was telling everyone”

“No I didn’t ask him anything other than how you were, I didn’t want him to feel any pressure”

“No I was in (state or country) staying with Casey”

“I was out there helping her out with her new baby”

“Did her husband recover from his accident?”

“I can’t believe you remembered about his accident”

“No…no he didn’t….he passed a couple weeks after I-I…after I moved out” you said looking down at ground. It made you sad thinking about both events. Not wanting to be reminded of either. Tears started to slowly fall from your cheeks. You try to turn away so that he doesn’t see you, but he does. He reached his hand over gently whipping the tears from your face. You lean into his hand a little, you missed everything about him. He slides closer to you on the bench putting his hand on your thigh, hoping you meant to lean into his hand. You leaned your head down onto his shoulder. You both let out a comforting sigh at the same time. You lift

you head up to look at him.

“Cariño I am so sorry for everything that happened. I regret the the moment I ever started treating you like that. But most of all I regret the night I smashed that glass and scared you. I’ve thought about that moment and the look in your eyes since the day you left. I fucked up, I know I did, I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I’ve been working on myself to change for the better. After the way we left things with our final conversation, it made me realize how jaded work and all the cases were making me. I realized I truly was treating everyone in my life like victims in my cases. I was running myself ragged, not taking care of myself properly which made me on edge and angry all the time. I’ve started going to therapy every other week, a couple days a week I don’t work as late and if I am going to work late I’ve been trying to bring it home with me more or go the coffee shop instead of just going to the bar and doing it. Which in turn has made me cut back on drinking. I’ve missed you terribly (Y/n)”

“Oh Rafa I’ve missed you terribly too” you say reaching up to cup his face in your hand, caressing his cheek with your thumb.

“I’ve been really hard to work on myself too. I also started going therapy while I was out there. I found a therapist from here that would do virtual session so that when I came back I could still go. I’ve been focusing on trying not to hold things in until I snap and everything comes out wrong. It’s a work in progress but I’m trying hard. Some of the things I’ve said to you or the way I acted wasn’t fair and for that I’ll always feel guilty for.”

He puts his arm around you and pulls you close to him squeezing you tightly.

He puts his head in the crook of your neck, you could feel his warm breath lightly on your neck. You two stay like that for a few minutes melting into each others arms.

Your phone rings and you step aside to answer it. He hears you say, “I’ll be home for dinner, why are you being so weird” before saying bye see you soon as you hang up.

You walk back over to the bench and sit down.

“Your boyfriend?” He asks nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You turn to him quickly while scrunching your face up at him.

“No you loser, it was just Carisi.” You say teasing. Followed by “I haven’t been seeing anyone” in a softer tone.”

The look of relief washed over his face.

“Me either” he said softly.

“Did you get invited to dinner at Sonny’s tonight by chance?”

“I did…” a puzzled look on his face.

“He’s up to something he’s been weird all week since I got back…I think he’s planning something for my birthday”

“ Yea I was under the impression that we were video chatting with you for you birthday”

“Who’s we?” You ask inquisitively.

He shrugs knowing he probably said to much but he was also equally confused.

4:15 Carisi: When you get here will you come in and get her to wait a a few minutes and then have her come in? It throws the plan all off you guys seeing each other lol. Everyone else doesn’t know she will be here and she doesn’t know everyone will be here it’s a surprise for her but there’s also a surprise for everyone.

4:25 Barba: she knows somethings up but sure I’ll get her to do that. Sorry, weren’t expecting to run into each other. But I have to say it’s so nice to see her.

He stands up from the bench, and holds out his hand. “Shall we? I’ll walk with you” he says, not wanting to be apart from you. He wanted to hold on to the feeling of being in your company again for the first time all over again.

You look up at him with a smile, the sun lit his face up perfectly. “I’d love that.” You say as you take his hand and stand to meet him. He quickly laces his fingers with yours causing you two to hold hands. You didn’t even flinch, it just felt right. You guys just strolling through the city holding hands making your way back to Carisi’s apartment. It felt as though time stopped and you two were the only people on the planet.

“Ok so Carisi wants me to go in, have you wait 10 minutes and then you come in. Don’t ask me why.”

“Hahaha ok”

So he goes inside, you hang out in the lobby of the building for 10 minutes then head up to the apartment.

You unlock the door and slowly open it to a dark apartment. You turn around shut the door and take your shoes off. As you turn back around all the lights flick on and everyone jumps out and shouts “Happy Birthday (Y/N)!!” Even though you knew something was going on, your completely surprised by the party. “Amanda, Liv, Finn, Rafa I can’t believe your all here!” You say starting to cry from pure joy, it had been so long since you had seen your friends. “Dodds and some of the rookies took over for the night so we could all come, we wouldn’t miss it for the world, we’ve all missed you.” Liv said but everyone echoed the same sentiment. Your excitedly catching up with everyone when there’s a knock at the door.

“(Y/N) you should answer the door.” Carisi says a smirk on his face.

“I swear to god Sonny, if this is going to embarrass be in front of everyone I’m gonna kill you!”

You open the door cautiously, knowing it could be one of those famous Sonny pranks. You’re completely shocked when you open the door.

“Oh my god, Nick!” You shout In excitement.

You hear everyone behind you “What?! Amaro’s here?”

Carisi shouts “Surprise everyone!”

“I can’t believe your here!” you say before he gives you the biggest hug.

“Well Carisi said you could use some cheering up, so I thought it was about time I made a visit back to visit everyone” he said happy to see all his old friends again.

You were as close to Nick as you are with Sonny, after all he’s the reason you have all these amazing people in your life. He’s the reason you met Rafael and ended up with him. You met Nick through a friend you made when you first moved to New York, she was dating one of his friends at the time and the 4 of you guys would get together sometimes. You and him hit it off quick and became fast friends. Nicks wife was in the army and overseas for a couple years and you were new to the city and didn’t really have many other friends, so you guys would hang out often on his days off to offset each other’s loneliness. One night when your best friend from home was in town visiting you, you ran into Nick out with the squad celebrating the end to a case with a drink. That was the night I met Rafael for the first time.

After taking a trip down memory lane in your mind you snap back to reality. You motion everyone to come in for a big group hug, you start tearing up as everyone is hugging each other. Amanda noticing your crying. “(Y/N) is everything alright?

“I’m fine, all of you guys are all the most amazing friends a girl to ask for. I’m so lucky to have all of you guys in myself. This is truly the best birthday ever. “

Everyone gathered around the table for a incredible Italian feast. Sonny cooked all your favorite Italian dishes. You had a couple drinks and just sat there taking in how good it felt to be surrounded by your friends again. Dinner wrapped up and everyone had cake and sang happy birthday. Liv and Amanda said there goodbyes as they had to go in and take over for Dodds. Sonny, Finn, Rafael and Nick set up to play a few games of cards.

You hang out with the guys for a little while while they were playing poker.

You stretch and yawn. “Well enjoy your poker and beers boys, I’m gonna go lay down and watch tv”

“You really outdid yourself Sonny, thank you so much for making this happen.” You say as you thank everyone for coming and say your good nights.

You put on your comfy shorts and top and curling up in bed, putting on one of your favorite comfort shows. You’re dozing off when you hear a knock at your bedroom door, you tilt you head up and sleepily say “come in.”

You watch the door open and see that it’s Rafael.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” he says rubbing the back of his neck.

“No it’s ok, I was just comfortable” you say shyly.

You pull the blankets back a little.

“Rafa, Will you lay with me and watch a movie?”

His face lights up. “Id love too Cariño”

Fin, Nick and Sonny watch him go into your room and shut the door.

“Saying goodbye my ass, those two are defiantly getting back together” Fin jokes.

“Is it ok if I get more comfortable and just wear my undershirt and my suite pants?”

“Of course it it is” you say moving over in the bed to make room for.

He climbs in the bed, gets comfortable and then puts his arm around you rubbing your back with his hand.

You slide down laying on your side and nestle you head on his chest with your arm around his stomach.

You tilt your head “is this ok? I can move if it’s not” You ask with nervousness in your voice.

“No this is ok, I-I missed this” he says kissing your forehead and pulling you in tighter.

You hand the remote to him “you want to pick the movie?”

He puts on one of your favorite movies you two like to watch together.

In this moment your so relaxed, the feeling of him softly rubbing his hand up and down your back and the smell of his cologne put you at ease. You missed everything about him. You dozed off for a couple minutes but you were awoken by him playing with your hair. You tilted your head back to look at him, giving him a cute sleepy smile.

“Your getting tired Cariño, should I go?”

“No it’s ok, don’t go” you barely got the words out of your mouth before he leaned down and kissed you passionately. You sat up, putting your hand behind his head kissing him back. He licked your bottom lip for entrance, which you granted him. Your tongues dance together, your whole body burned. His touch sent shivers down your spine, making you instantly wetter than you’ve been. He moved to kissing down your neck and along your collar bone. You let out a breathy moan in his ear, as you do he pulls you on top of him. You sit up straddling him, you can feel his rock hard cock underneath you. As you take your top off he runs his hands all over your body, exploring every inch of it. He sits up too, kissing down your neck and the top of your breasts as he reaches around you to unhook your bra. He slids it off your shoulders and down your arms before throwing it on the floor. He kisses all over your breasts before making his way to you nipples, licking, bitting and sucking on them. Your body is on fire and your panties are completely soaked, you needed his body.

You step down off the bed onto the floor. You motion for him to stand too, getting down on your knees when he does. You undo his pants and pull them down, taking out his rock hard cock. You tease him at first running your tongue all around his tip. He lets out a deep breathy “fuck” as you take the the rest of him in your mouth, he runs his hands through your hair, leaving his hand on the back of your head. Your sucking gets stronger as as your motion gets quicker, occasionally pulling back to just the tip to tease him.

You stand up and turn your back to him, bending over in front of him. Pulling down your shorts and panties giving him a show.

“You’re so fucking sexy” he says in a deep voice as he comes up behind you spanking you hard and grabbing a hand full of your ass.

You stand up and when you do he wraps his arms around you from behind pulling you up against him, his hard cock pressed against your ass. He starts rubbing your clit, you throw your head back moaning as he starts kissing your neck at the same time. “Fuck me Rafa, I can’t take it any longer” you moan out already ready to climax, your body burning from head to toe. He bends you over the side of the bed. Running his hands down your back and spanking you hard when he gets to your ass. You moan out in a long breathy moan, enjoying every second of it.

“Spread your legs for me” he says in his deep voice as he’s rubbing your ass. He teases you, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit, before sliding inside of you. He grabs your hips as he pulls in and out of you, pushing deeper with every thrust.

“Mmm Rafa, I’m so close” you moan out.

“cum for me baby” he reply’s as he spanks your ass. His thrusts get faster as he reaches around you and starts rubbing you’re clit as he’s thrusting fast.

You push your self up with your arms arching your back. You start to feel your self release as you start to climax.

“Fuck Rafa, don’t stop I’m so close.” You scream as you moan out. As your muscles tighten and you climax all over his cock.

He moans thrusting all the way in before he pulls out, cumming all over your ass. It was something he liked to do, but he also did it because he didn’t know where you two stood and he didn’t know if you would want him to cum inside you. You slowly stand up trying to catch youre breath. He hugs you from behind kissing your shoulder and whispering, “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve really missed you too” you whisper back before you both climb back into bed.

“Come home, Cariño”

[yes-divine-ruler]

3,1, 12, 15, STAN BOWES PLEASEEEEEEE

nsfw prompts here

“Oh I love this dress sweetheart, just short enough to give me easy access,” Stan leaned down behind you, and whispered in your ear. It sent a shiver up your spine, and made a pool form in your panties.

You turn to watch Stan walk away, when he turns, and holds up 5 fingers to you. 5 minutes.

You mentally prepare yourself, quick to take out your pocket mirror and check on your make up. You’d been secretly sleeping with your boss for the past few months, and it definitely made work interesting. Stan refused to fuck in the office, and in a ruse to persuade him otherwise, your dresses got progressive shorter. It seemed to work in your favour, because in exactly 5 minutes, your back was pressed against the desk in Stan’s office.

“No panties?” He whispered against your lips, as his fingertips grazed at your slick folds at an unbearable slow pace.

“The easiest access for you, sir,” you tease back, before Stan reconnects your lips in another fiery kiss. He helps you sit on the table, before his ring and middle finger were knuckle deep inside you. You throw your head back in pleasure as he expertly curls his fingers, the wedding band on his finger cool against your throbbing heat.

“Oh my god,” you moan, before wedging your bottom lip between your teeth to try and stop it from happening again.

You felt your orgasm past approaching as the pad of Stan’s thumb rested on your clit and started to apply pressure.

“That’s it baby,” Stan’s breath fans your ear, as he whispers words of encouragement, “is my little princess needy? Needy for daddy’s dick?”

You nod in an effort to answer him, whining once he removes his fingers from your heat, his fingers slick with your arousal.

“My god, you’re so wet baby,” Stan mewls, tugging down his pants just far enough to pull out his cock. With no forewarning, Stan rams his cock inside you, causing a loud and surprised gasp to leave your lips.

“Oh daddy,” you plead, as he begins to savagely stretch apart your dripping cunt, his balls slapping against you with every thrust.

You threw your head back in titillation, your legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer. His fingers dip into your hips as he pistons inside you, so deep he was hitting all the right places at the perfect pace. The stimulation had your thighs shaking around his waist, and your fingers trembling to grab at his forearms. It was almost too much.your eyes peer into his, all doe-eyed and glassy, tears threatening to fall down your face as your first orgasm washes over you. You pulse deliciously around Stan’s rigid length, and he groans at the mere feeling of your body giving in to him.

“That’s my girl,” he coos, his lips attacking your jaw, “I know you got more for me.”

Stan didn’t halt his lust-filled assault on your pussy, instead turning you over to lay stomach first on the desk. He brings your leg up, bent at the knee and by your side, reaching your sweet spot. Swollen, abused and throbbing from your previous orgasm, you whine as Stan’s cock rapidly prods against it.

“Daddy, I can’t-” your words are slurred and almost incoherent as the fire begins to burn in your lower abdomen again.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” Stan muttered encouragingly, “don’t stop it.”

For the second time you feel your release at the simple trigger of his praise, now panting to try and catch your breath back as it shocks through your core.

Your orgasm sends Stan over the edge, groaning profanity as he cums within your clenching walls.

“Mr Bowes?” A knock sounds from his office door, startling both of you.

“Shit!”

[polly-pocket13]

Hiii! i rlly love ur fanfic's and i was wonder if u would write ff Dabi x reader on the base of song "bad idea, right?" by Olivia Rodrigo. Feel free to skip if u feel uncomfortable with this ask

also i thing Dabi is perfect for this, but u can change him to any other character if u dont write for him

lov u 💗

bad idea right?

touya todoroki x fem!reader 

warnings: alcohol, toxic relationship, language, bad english, bad grammar, kind of manhandling  

a/n: First of all, thank you. You are so sweet, and I am sending love to you. The next thing, I love the song and I love the idea. I hope you will enjoy what I created. <3

The music in the club was very loud, so you didn't even notice that you had received a message.

However, you noticed the second message that followed 10 minutes later.

See you tonight? 10:22 pm

Don't ignore me. 10:32 pm 

You just stared at your phone. You haven't heard from him for about two months now. After he ended the relationship four months ago, him and you had regularly sex dates. He texted you, and you went over to him. You fucked and the next morning you left. This scenario repeated over and over again. Then he abruptly stopped texting you and didn't respond to your messages anymore.

You thought that's it.

He shattered your heart once again.

The last two months, you isolated yourself after work at home and cried your eyes out. 

The only things you were doing was working, eating and crying yourself to sleep.

Only today, your friends finally got you out. They forced you to go to the club with them.

“Y/NNNN, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?” your best friend asked and brought you back to reality. 

“I NEED MORE ALCOHOL.” you just answered her and she nodded. “I WILL GET SOME.” she told you and turned away to walk to the bar.

touya, it is bad idea 10:49 pm 

You texted him and instantly got a text as an answerer.

Location📍 10:49 pm

You rolled your eyes and putted your phone away. 

Just in time, your friend arrived with shots. Two seconds later, they were empty. 

“THE NEXT ROUND IS ON ME.” you screamed and went to the bar to get the next round. 

After that, there was another round, and then another round, and so on.

You little brat. I told you to not ignoring me.  11:11pm

Your phone vibrated and you bit your lip. 

You are fucking miss him, and maybe you two just could talk like friends or such sort of thing. 

So you can finally forget him. 

No. 

That's a bad idea, right?

So you ignored his message again. 

Where are you? Are you with someone else? 11:15 pm   Correct me if I am wrong, bur I dont think ths is your business anymore. 11:17 pm  Fuck 11:18pm  Where are you, Y/N? 11:18 pm  Answer your fucking phone, woman. 11:25 pm  Send an Image 11:26 pm  I am busssy tonight. 11:26 pm

He may leave you now alone. 

You sent him a picture of you dancing and some random guy was standing behind you. It looked like you both danced together.

This photo made your friend earlier to post on her Instagram. Now it also has a benefit for you.

You looked at your phone. He left you on read.

You sighed. 

Did you do the wrong thing?

Maybe you both could have reconnected if you just went to him. 

You went to the bathroom and washed your face with cold water. The alcohol makes you feel very sleepy and you acutely just want to go home. You hope the cold water will wake you up a little bit. 

“I knew you lied.” you suddenly heard a very familiar voice behind you. You turned around and saw Dabi who was standing in the door frame and smirked at you.

“This is the lady's restroom. I don't think you should be here. You don't look like a woman to me, Sir.” you said and took a paper towel to dry your face. 

“Stop playing fucking games with me, Brat.” he spit out, and his smirk left his face.

“I am not doing anything with you. I am leaving now the lady's restroom, so I can leave with the cute boy I met today. So if you were so friendly to let me through the door.” you said and walked to the door.

“I told you, stop messing with me.” he said angrily. You rolled your eyes. You wanted to push him away so you could go through the door, but touya grabbed you and pushed you against the wall next to the door.

“What is that for an attitude?” he asked you and stared you directly in your eyes.

This was the first time today you really looked at him and his beautiful blue eyes. Before, you tried to avoid his face and looked most of the time at the floor.

“Touya, please let me go.” you said quietly and tried to get out of his grip.  

“No, you won't go to this little piece of shit. He doesn't deserve you.” he told you and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I know I am an Asshole. But I am an Asshole who missed you. I missed you so much.” he whispers in your ear and your knees started to get weak.

You didn't know what to say.  

What to think.

Your brain just goes “Ahhh” 

Fuck it. 

The next thing you did was kiss him.

Your brain just turned off and there was just touya and you.

[omniwhore]

Ways to trick yourself to Go Outside

@thelostones-world asked about some ways to battle the AuDHD urge to stay in cave tm nd get the delicious outdoor stimulation

I decided to do a full blown post in hopes that it might help others, so here’s a few suggestions for

when you don’t wanna go out but know it would make you feel better

- ✨splish splosh water on face✨

In effort to feel less dissociated nd foggy and more in touch with your body and needs, I recommend something that helps me come back into my body - go to the bathroom and splash your face with cold/room temperature water.

Additionally you can put on a skin cream or moisturizer to further ground yourself nd reconnect with feeling physically present in your body.

This should help you feel more ready to spring into action!

- 🌤️open window sniff the air🌤️

One way to trick myself into being excited abt leaving the apartment nd going outside is to open a window and just,,, stare outside, feel the sunshine or the wind on your skin, smell the fresh air, listen to the hum nd sounds that are suddenly that much closer....

It helps me remember the good feeling of being outside and feeling so happy and stimulated and grounded. Then I just remind myself that more of this is only a couple steps away!

- 👚prepare an outfit in advance👚

Another way to trick yourself into being more amenable to leaving the house is to take time the day prior to prepare the outfit you’ll wear.

Aim for whatever you’d like to prioritize - comfort/safety, your favorite style that you want to show off, something you've been waiting for an excuse to wear, or something that reminds you of the location you want to visit.

(ie. goblincore outfit for a walk in the park, cottagecore outfit for a farmer's market, academia outfit for a library visit or a café study/art/reading session etc.)

Having an outfit already put together that you can just slip into gives your brain less opportunities to chicken out - and can help you get hyped up for whatever you're about to go do!

- 🌸gamify your outings🌸

Give yourself a mission (instead of writing down "go for a walk" in your planner, write "go on foot to {location} and back" or "walk outside for {n} minutes" or "collect 5 fallen leaves").

Boom! Now your brain won't get overwhelmed by ohmygod there’s so many things I could be doing what about we just abandon it altogether???

You have a mission to focus on. And when you're done, it's up to you whether you wanna keep going or whether you wanna head back home. For me, even a 10 or 15 min walk can make a big difference if I haven't been out for days.

- 📒plan things ahead of time📒

I always found meticulous planning vry comforting for my autistic side. It makes it significantly easier to psych myself up for something involving leaving the house if I let myself know that it's happening at least three days in advance.

Think about sitting down with a planner or a plain notebook, or your phone calendar (so handy! can include pings, map routes, and any additional info u might need to complete the mission!) and brainstorming some activities you'd like to do outdoors!

- 💚make plans with others💚

Hanging out with your friends in person if you can is a great way to make yourself show up, and is generally super good for your brain!

Idk about you, but if I told a friend I’m gonna be there at 5, I am gonna be there at god damned 5!!!

- 🎟️purchase tickets for events🎟️

Check facebook, reddit or whatever neighborhood (online) space you can come by for free or affordable events in your area!

Whether the goal is to be around people nd feel less anxious/alienated, or to just feed your brain some delicious stimulation at the museum or a pop up market, purchasing a ticket for an event can hold you more accountable to show up!

(Again recommend sitting down and planning at least 3 days ahead as to not have a meltdown abt the stress of figuring out the logistics)

[all-risejd]

A New Judgment Chapter 15: Where Dom Gets in His Feelings and They Reconnect (Poly Judgement Day Fic)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.  Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Part 12.5. Part 13. Part 14.

Nessa and Dom go out to breakfast where a waitress sees the marks on her neck. A day out with Dom ensues where they rebond.

Nessa is woken up, what feels like minutes later, by gentle hands rubbing up and down her arm. She groans and snuggles into the chest of the person she is facing. She can tell by the feeling and smell that she is still facing Dominik who wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer again. “Good morning Mi Vida. Are you ok?” He groans, his voice thick with sleep but wanting to make sure she is ok. She nods against his chest making him hold her tighter.

“Did something happen last night?” Damian asks, his voice equally as deep as the morning before, tinged with concern. Nessa feels the bed move as she assumes Damian moves into a sitting position.

“Do you want me to tell them Princesa? Or do you want to keep that between us for now?” Dominik whispers into her ear, but only Rhea is able to hear.

Nessa sighs and does her best to remain calm, not wanting to seem weak again. “Go ahead Dom.” Nessa answers, still firm against Dom’s chest, Rhea tracing shapes up and down her arm.

“She had a nightmare about her ex, more of a memory, and couldn’t sleep. She needed to feel safe.” Dom keeps it short and sweet knowing Nessa doesn’t want more details to be said. If she did she would tell them.

“Do we know who he is?” Damian asks, anger rising and coloring his tone. Finn sits up as well and grabs Damian's hand squeezing it.

Nessa feels Dom sigh, annoyance radiating off his body and she knows why. “No, she won’t tell me, she never did and I have not and will not push it.” He announces to the group the promise in his words. He may be annoyed but respects that it is what Nessa still needs.

Damian begins to grumble, "Cuando descubra quién es, lo mataré.”

(When I find out who he is I’ll kill him).

“Let's not do that Babe, you don’t need to catch a case and be released from the company.” Finn tries to reason with Damian and squeezes his hand again, laying his head on his shoulder.

“Please don’t.” Comes Nessa’s voice stronger than expected. She sits up and pops her neck, Rhea and Dom doing the same, an uncomfortable silence between them. Nessa sighs and continues, “Even if you do figure out who it is, I would like it very much if you did nothing. I don’t want to lose any of you for catching a case no matter how justified. That and I don’t want to see that no matter what he did to me…” She begs.

“I won’t actively seek out Mariposa, but if I run into him I might not be able to control myself. I am sorry,” Damian warns while simultaneously apologizing and Nessa scoffs and climbs over Dominik to get out of the bed.

“I don't understand why you men immediately go to violence to deal with your emotions. I asked you to not, I set a boundary and you tell me you will violate it.” She crosses her arms and takes a few steps back from the bed to get some distance especially as Damian got out of the bed looking at Nessa, eyes wide the realization settling in his stomach he messed up.

“Nessa…” He calls her name instead of her pet name to show he is remorseful and takes a step towards her only for her to step back, putting more distance between them. Dominik jumps out of the bed and stands between them.

Nessa glances around the room to see the look of fear on everyone's faces and she sighs, “I am not changing my mind, Just please don’t do anything like that. You asked me to voice what I need. That is what I need.” She stares down Damian who takes a step back, not wanting to make things worse. Rhea glances between Nessa and Damian wondering why she is so adamant about keeping the secret and not reacting. Rhea’s eyes widen and she takes a sharp breath that is missed by everyone but Finn who has a similar look of realization on his face.

“I promise, I won’t do anything to him if I ever come across him, Nessa, I’m sorry I let my emotions get the best of me again when it comes to you it is no excuse.” Damian promises by holding his hands up in surrender.

“Ok, thank you for that Luis.” Nessa thanks him curtly, not telling him it’s ok because there is no apology but she knows the apology will come from his actions… hopefully. Dominik notices the looks on Rhea and Finns faces and plans to ask them about it when Nessa is out of the room.

“Corazon, go get ready and I will take you out for breakfast. Get you some space and we can have our quality time together yeah?” Dominik offers, knowing she is going to want to stress eat and get some space.

“Y…yeah… that's fine, I’ll go shower, I’ll meet you in the living room…” Nessa agrees, eyeing Damian sadly before opening the bedroom door an exiting, closing the door behind her trying to blink the tears away.

___________________________________________________________________________

“Mami, what did you figure out?” Dominik turns to face Rhea and Finn who are still just sitting up in the bed, Damian rooted to the spot still looking defeated but looking towards Rhea and Finn confused as to what is going on, his mind still processing the massive fuck up he just did.

“I think her ex is in the industry and we might know him or potentially have worked with him.” Rhea offers up the only explanation that makes sense to her as to why Nessa was adamant that they do nothing.

“It seems there might be a possibility that we do run into him if we are going off her reaction.” Finn agrees and Damian catches on and begins pacing around the room.

“That is why she is so adamant we do nothing and give nothing away that might identify him.” Dominik muses out loud.

“Dom, did she ever report it to the cops?” Damian stops pacing right in front of Dominik as he asks. Dominik nods his head with another look of realization. “What, what is it?” Damian asks, grabbing Dom's shoulders. Rhea and Finn are out of the bed at this point standing next to them.

“The cops refused to file a report beyond a simple domestic dispute and would not arrest him. Said he was her boyfriend so it was consensual and the marks are just from rough play she regretted.” Dom answers and Damian removes his hands and clenches and unclenches his fists, Finn begins jumping up and down shaking his hands and Rhea just shakes her head sadly knowing that is normal.

“Look, we keep our word to Nessa, but keep a close eye on her to make sure she is protected. Priest, you need to keep your cool and listen when she lays out a boundary and not run your mouth. Now we have two of you having to repair stuff with Nes. You need to apologize when they get back.” Rhea places her hand on Damian's chest.

“Why now when she gets out of the shower?” Damian asks, wanting to impart just how sorry he is.

“Because it will seem forced, sit on it and understand what you did was wrong so you don’t do it again. Let her think it through and calm down.” Rhea explains like it is the most obvious thing, Dominik nodding along agreeing knowing how Nessa is from years of experience. Damian runs his hand through his hair and huffs.

“Hey like you said there is hope. You heard her, she isn’t going to change her mind. Just don’t run your mouth and respect the boundaries. Don’t cop out and get her flowers either; she prefers those as a surprise.” Dominik explains hoping Damian doesn’t fuck up the apology, there is only enough room for one person to be on the outs right now and that belongs to him.

“Wait a minute. FUCK Priest! Nes was supposed to cook for us this morning you idiot. Now you have to cook for us!!!” She thwaps his chest annoyed, she happens to be fond of the young woman’s cooking.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nessa exits the bathroom fully dressed and ready for her day out with Dominik, feeling guilty she isn’t going to cook breakfast like she promised. She enters the living room to see Rhea, Dom, and Finn splayed across the couch. Dominik is the first to notice her and gets up, making Finn's feet fall to the floor.

“I’m sorry I won’t be making breakfast for you today, I'll make dinner tonight so long as Dom gets us back in time.” Nessa glances up at him as he grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze.

“It’s alright Bunny, we understand things change and you need a little space. Dom Dom is a safe space for you even though you are still working on repairing trust.” Rhea smiles scooting closer to Finn.

“I never lost that trust. From day one he was always safe and understanding.” Nessa tugs on Dominik's arm smiling at the relief on his face.

“Go on out and eat and try to have fun Luv. Rhea is making Damo cook for us because well you know…” Finn tries to shoo them out the door with his words but Nessa stands in place.

“Why do you all call her Rhea? Does she prefer that? Should I be calling her that instead of Demi?” Nessa looks to Rhea worried and is confused by the laugh the woman lets out.

“I prefer Rhea because being Rhea is what gives me confidence in myself and that is how they all met and knew me. You specifically asked so sweet and respectful and hearing you call me by my real name it just makes me happy. That's just our thing Bunny.” Rhea explains, making it perfectly clear she wants Nessa to continue to call her, her actual name.

“Yeah ok, Dems, uh… thank you.” Nessa blushes and Dominik starts pulling her toward the door.

“Bye guys, love you, be back later with Princesa.” He calls out as he pulls Nessa through the door and towards the car.

“Wait, I don't have my purse or wallet!” Nessa tries to stop and stumbles as Dominik keeps going only glancing back at her.

“It’s ok Nes, my treat and what we do after you can pay me back later if you want,” Dominik promises knowing how independent she likes to be. They reach the car and he lets go of her hand and they look at each other. She warily steps toward the door and Dominik allows her to open it, winking at her before jogging around the car and getting in the driver's seat.

“Can we go to Waffle House please?” Nessa asks, her leg bouncing up and down as Dominik pulls out the driveway. He smiles and rests his forearm on the center console with his palm facing up, an invitation if Nessa wants. Knowing she is probably still raw from the previous night. Without hesitation, she weaves their fingers together.

“I had a feeling you would want Waffle House, that is what I planned.” He laughs and relaxes after seeing Nessa stick her tongue out at him. He uses that moment to say what is on his mind, “Nessa, these past few weeks you have been so good, so strong and I am incredibly proud of you. I know it isn’t easy, especially with what I did and I just wanted you to know that.” Nessa squeezes his hand and jokes,

“How long were you thinking about that while I was in the shower and how many times did you practice that?” Nessa tries to smile but it comes off as more of a grimace and she sighs, “It has been hard, you have been the easiest part, to be honest. You haven’t changed… except to be able to talk about your feelings more which makes things easier. I see the effort you are putting into making things right.” Nessa bites her lip waiting for his response.

“Thank you for noticing how hard I am trying. I am glad you can tell, I know you say no pressure, but I really don’t want to mess this up again. I love you and need you in my life as selfish as that sounds after what I’ve done.” Nessa looks at him, a mixture of shock, renewed hope, and understanding, a piece falling into place, and some of that doubt chips away. She holds his hand for the remainder of the ride to the restaurant.

They walk into the restaurant hand in hand and walk to a booth and sit opposite each other. Neither of them grab a menu as they get the same thing every time. The waitress comes over to take their drink order and asks if they are ready for their food since they don’t have menus in front of them.

“Yeah I’ll have a ham and cheese omelet with hash browns covered and chunked and a coke to drink and she will have a chocolate chip waffle and a hot chocolate with water on the side.” Dom orders for both of them. The waitress stops writing on her notepad and turns to Nessa with her eyebrows raised.

“Is that alright with you sweetheart?” She asks, tossing a glare in Dominik's direction.

“Yeah, I get the same thing every time it's not the way you think,” Nessa responds waving her hands trying to make the waitress understand it isn’t a controlling situation.

“All right sweets if you need anything let me know.” She walks away to place the order and Dom and Nessa share a look and try to not laugh.

“I think she knows who we are…” Dominik nudges Nessa’s foot under the table.

“No, I think she thinks you are trying to control me and potentially be dangerous,” Nessa answers, nudging him back.

“Let's make a bet then.” Dom challenges a smug smirk on his face.

Nessa scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Oh you’re on, what are the stakes?” She asks, accepting the challenge.

“If I’m right you owe me potato candy,” He asks for something simple not wanting to push her too far.

“Ok and if I win you have to make it yourself with no help from me or looking it up. I want to see if you remember.” She smirks at him knowing he does not or he wouldn’t ask. He holds out his hand accepting the terms. Not even a minute later the waitress comes back with their drinks and sets Doms down with a little too much force making some of it slop over the edge. Nessa smirks as her hot chocolate and water is set down in front of her gently.

“I’ll have your food out soon love, enjoy the coco,.” The waitress says to Nessa before walking away without addressing Dominik who looks affronted. Nessa picks up her mug of coco to see a small folded piece of paper on the saucer. She sets down the cup on the table and picks up the paper, unfolds it, and reads it with a triumphant smile on her face. Dom groans and sits back in the booth, crossing his arms and pouting. Nessa hands him the paper which says,

“If you are in danger when I come back, ask for another cup with no marshmallows.” Nessa almost made a funny comment but watches him deflate. She can tell without asking him that the fact the waitress thought she would be in danger with him hurt him. Nessa lays her hand out on the table and calls his name to get his attention. He looks up and gently grabs her hand.

“Hey Dom, don’t think anything of it. We both know you are safe and about as dangerous to me as a damn marshmallow. You wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone me…. Ohhhh we are stupid” Realization crosses Nessa’s face, she forgot to cover up the marks on her neck and then Dom ordered for her. “So stupid should have thought about that I am so sorry Ducky I should have covered my neck from this morning” She apologizes and Dom’s eyes widen, he didn’t think about that either. “I love you, Dom, maybe after this we go back to Demi’s so I can put on some makeup, or go to a mall and get a scarf.” She offers to try to find a solution.

Dominik nods, tapping his finger repeatedly on the table with his free hand

“Which one baby?” Nessa asks, squeezing his hand again.

“Let's go home first…” Dom starts but stops as the waitress returns, setting down their food and sees that Nessa’s drink has not been touched.

“Oh no dumplin', was there something wrong with it? Do you want a new one with no marshmallows?” She asks, giving Nessa a worried look.

“No actually I am perfectly fine, I would love some more marshmallows. I worked up quite an appetite yesterday.” She answers wiggling her eyebrows suggestively to try and drive the point home that Dom is not dangerous and her marks are consensual. Nessa laughs internally because he didn’t even cause the marks and she can’t tell the poor waitress who is only trying to help. She nods and walks away to get a new hot cocoa with more marshmallows and Nessa rolls her eyes appreciative of the help, but wishing that could have come a few years earlier.

“Dom I know you don’t want to, but please try to eat some of your food, I’ll do the same so we can pay and go home. I’m sorry I’m the reason breakfast is ruined.” Nessa apologizes and starts eating while Dominik nibbles at the omelet and pushes it around the plate with his fork no longer having an appetite.

“I’ll eat what I can, but I want you to finish that plate, Princesa, you need to eat the way you've been training you need the calories.” Dominik points with his fork as Nessa takes another bite not needing to be told as she is stress eating about the thing with Damian and now what just happened. In no time her waffle is gone and her two hot chocolates are empty. Dominik barely has a quarter of his food gone.

“Eat some more Dom Dom please, you need food just as much.” Nessa asks, nodding towards his plate. He rolls his eyes and glances over towards the waitress who has been watching them like a hawk.

“I’ll eat later Mi Sol, go out to the car and I’ll pay.” Dom suggests but Nessa shakes her head.

“No, you are hurting and sometimes you lash out when you are hurting. The waitress was just trying to help. I wish someone like her would have done that a few years ago.” Nessa admits and Dom nods his head understanding but is still hurting. She gets up first and holds her hand out for him to grab which he does and gets up as well, tossing a 20 on the table for the tip. He knows Nessa always tips well and she is right the waitress was trying to do the right thing for what she assumed was a situation. Together they walk up to the podium to pay, the waitress standing there eyeing them warily. Dominik hands her their ticket and his card without saying anything.

“Thank you for what you did, it is not an unsafe situation. These are actually just a bunch of hickies from our partners, we had a little too much fun yesterday.” Nessa leans forward and quietly thanks the waitress trying to impart that she is truly in no danger and everything is consensual, Dominik nodding but not making eye contact, keeping his gaze on the floor.

“I’m sorry for any offense I may have caused, sugar, I just saw your bruises and then he ordered for you and I feared you were unsafe. I see now that is the complete opposite. Please don’t hold it against me or against this facility.” The waitress apologizes and Nessa smiles and shakes her head.

“Don’t even worry about it. You saw something and you wanted to intervene and get me to safety so please Don’t change. Just do it a little less obviously. If I was in an unsafe situation that could have gone bad. Good premise, bad execution. But thank you for being a good person. We left your tip on the table. Once again thank you.” Nessa thanks her and takes Dominik's card back from her outstretched hand and hands it to him and pulls him out the door and to the car.

“Are you ok baby?” Nessa asks at the stop in front of the car, resting her hand gently on his cheek and he leans into it and kisses her palm. Nessa sighs and pulls him down to her height resting his head on her shoulder and wraps her arms around him in a hug and rubs his back. “Oy, baby. You know I know you would never even think of hurting me, everyone who knows you knows you wouldn’t. She doesn’t even know who you are. You are my safe space even still. Don’t let this get to you. She would have done the same thing had Finn or Luis taken me here.” Nessa uses her nails to scratch his scalp, feeling him relax into her embrace.

“I know Corazon, I can’t stand the thought of anyone thinking I could hurt you. Especially with what you have been through.” He answers, adjusting how he is leaning on her and placing a gentle kiss on her neck.

“I know sweetheart, let's go back home and I’ll cover up these lovely marks our idiot boyfriend and lovely girlfriend so graciously bestowed upon me.” Nessa pats his head so he knows to pick it up. He does and takes a little step back and gestures for her to get in the car, staying back letting her open her own car door again.

“Our little secret, I won’t tell Luis of Finn.” She giggles and gets in the car. ____________________________________________________________________________

They pull into the driveway, Dominik in a little bit of a better mood, singing along with Nessa to whatever song is playing on the radio, their hands intertwined on the center console. He puts the car in park and raises their hands, pecking the back of Nessa’s hand. She stays in the car knowing someone is probably looking out the window to see why they are back. Dominik is over to her side of the car quickly and opens it, holding out his hand to help her out. She takes it and intertwines their fingers as they walk up the rest of the driveway and enter the house.

They enter the living room and see Rhea, Finn and Damian on the couch and the sounds of the dishwasher running in the kitchen. “Sorry we are back so soon there was an issue at the restaurant and I need to cover up these marks before we go out to prevent it happening again.” She releases Dom’s hand and starts heading towards the hallway to the bedrooms to grab her makeup.

“What incident? Are you ok Mariposa?!” Damian asks, worried for his partners, his chest tightens when she doesn’t answer him and keeps on walking disappearing from view. Damian turns his attention back to Dominik. “First, are you both ok? Second, what happened?” Damian asks, looking worried. Dominik goes over to the couch and sits on Damian’s lap knowing he needs physical contact.

“The waitress thought I was abusing Nes because I ordered for her and her neck looks like someone strangles her on the regular with the marks you and Mami left on her.” Dominik explains and the others groan in realization.

“Oh Dom Dom I’m sorry we should have been more careful. What exactly happened?” Rhea reaches out and grabs Dom's thigh giving it a little squeeze.

“The waitress slipped Nessa a note with a phrase to ask for help, we made a bet joking, I thought she was a fan that was angry that I broke up with her when she slammed my drink down and was sweet to Nes. I’m just hurt that someone thought I could do something like that.” Dominik explains and shrugs, his lip trembling trying to hold back tears. Damian kisses his head.

“It's a sad truth that is more common than not, baby, she was just trying to help in what she thought was a situation I wouldn’t hold that against her.” Rhea squeezes Dom’s thigh again voicing her opinion.

“Yeah and now Nessa is feeling even more guilty. Oh yeah, Damian, I am going to talk to her when we go back out to see if I can’t help smooth things over. Only one of us can be on the outs and that belongs to me right now.” Dom responds, leaning against Damian who sighs and groans again before responding,

“Why does she feel guilty? Dios. We are the ones to put the marks on her, I may have gripped her too hard too. I’m not going to ask you to fix my mess. Also I would like it if we can make it to where none of us are on the ‘outs’. Disagreements are bound to happen. Our issue is you ghosted her but are working on regaining that trust. I fucked up the trust we were building by mouthing off. I would never intentionally violate a boundary, even one like that I just needed to vent. I just have to tell her that.” Damian begins to plan out loud.

“She feels guilty because she feels like she should have remembered to cover them, she was wearing them with pride like it was a normal part of her. I thought it was incredibly hot until the waitress thought the worst of me.” Dominik explains and the others nod along understanding fully now what is going on.

“While it is hot we do have to be careful in the future.” Finn wisely announces to the group, making them look at him in shock. He looks around at them and shrugs his shoulders and asks, “What? Is it not the truth? We work on TV and under contracts.” he continues.

“Finn, you said we, so you plan to get physical with her at some point?” Rhea asks, smiling from ear to ear and Finn rolls his eyes.

“Yeah I plan to someday be physically intimate with her. I’m not going to try to get into her pants day one of joining our dynamic” Finn teases the two who have already had sex with her or some sort of sexual contact. Damian grumbles under his breath and Rhea just laughs looking proud.

“Hey it’s not our fault she was comfortable enough with us to have sex. Plus she has been traveling with us for weeks and has history with Dom so she does know us and has been building that trust and relationship.” Rhea pops back.

“And that is exactly why someday I will. That reminds me when yall get home later I’m going to give her what I got her from Legoland. I’d do it now but I don’t want it to seem like we are trying to not let her feel her emotions by buying her stuff.” Finn pointedly looks at Dom who holds up his hands.

“She is going to bring her purse and buy the stuff where I am going to take her next.” Dom smiles feeling better than before.

“Where are we going next?” Nessa comes out of the hallway, her neck showing no trace of any bruises, which drives home just how used she is to covering up those kinds of marks. “Sorry it took so long I had trouble finding my color corrector.” Nessa apologizes to Dom and stays at the end of the couch where Rhea is.

“We are going to an arcade. I figured if I want to fix things we go back to the beginning like our first date.” Dominik smiles at her and smiles wider when he sees her blush and smile nodding her head. Dom turns to kiss Damian chastely before getting off his lap and kissing the other two before going to stand next to Nessa. Nessa then leans down and gives Rhea a little peck on the lips and steps over and Finn kisses her cheek. She pauses in front of Damian and for a moment the air feels sucked out of the room for the two of them until she leans down and kisses Damians cheek.

“When we get back you and I are going to talk about this morning and why I am upset. We can go forward from there ok?” She asks, making it clear she needs to talk more boundaries with him and he nods almost eagerly. Just glad she is talking to him again. Nessa returns to Dominiks and grabs his hand and leans against his side, her purse in her free hand this time.

“Try to have fun guys!” Finn tells them and Nessa nods and gives a small smile.

“We’ll try, thank you so much for listening and making me feel better. Love you” He calls out as he and Nessa head out the door a chorus of love you’s behind them. ___________________________________________________________________________

Dominik and Nessa walk into the arcade and go up to the counter. They get two play cards and go over to the nearest cabinet and Nessa laughs seeing it is Mortal Kombat. “Oh it's on Dom, I’m going to kick your ass.” She giggles and swipes her card and picks her character, Dom doing the same bumping his hip against hers. They go a couple of rounds switching off who wins, the stress from earlier all but forgotten. Nessa smiles widely and cheers as she wins yet another round and rips out the spine of his character.

“Fuck, how did you get so good at this?” Dom whines and stomps his foot.

Nessa wraps her arms around his neck and stands on her tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his lips and plays with the hair on the back of his neck. “I had the time to practice in the hospital taking care of the kids, the only time I didn’t give them what they wanted and treated them like normal and they loved me for it.” Nessa explains feeling content when Dominik rests his forehead on hers and pecks her nose.

“I love you, there doesn't have to be a reason. Thank you for giving me another chance to show you how much you mean to me. I am eternally grateful.” He stands up straight and wraps his arms around Nessa and they sway in place for a minute.

They break their embrace when they hear a shy, “Excuse me…”

The turn around smiling seeing a young boy probably around 10 in a Judgment Day t-shirt.

“Hi, would you like an autograph?” Dominik smiles and holds out his hand for the little notebook in the kid's hand but pulls it back when he sees the way the kid is looking at Nessa. Dominik smirks and tries to hide his snicker, clearly the boy has a crush on Nessa.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Nessa asks, holding out her hand and the boy immediately blushes and hands over the marker and notebook.

“Otis, You are so much prettier in person!” he answers, his face turning red in an instant as he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Oh oh.” Nessa giggles and collects herself signing the notebook and handing it to Dom who does the same. “You are so sweet and handsome” Nessa flirts back making Otis even more red. “Come here, would you like a hug and a picture?” Nessa holds open her arms and asks. Otis nods and steps into her open arms. She grabs his cellphone from his hand and holds it out taking a selfie with him and Dominik joins for a second selfie. After the pictures are taken the kid respectfully steps back, his face still red which makes Nessa a little worried. “Are you ok pumpkin?” She asks, bending over to be eye level with him.

“Dominik is an idiot for leaving you, you are better with Priest, but I’m confused why you were cuddling up to Dominik. But if things don’t work out you should be my girlfriend, here is my gamer tag.” He blurts out holding out a little piece of paper which Nessa gingerly takes and puts it in her pocket.

“I’ll keep that in mind Otis, thank you.” She smiles kindly at him as he turns around and runs back to his mom who nods towards them mouthing thank you. Nessa and Dominik nod back and join hands again, Dominik silently leading them away from the cabinets they were just at. Nessa can see the tension in his body and the way he is carrying himself. Nessa feels her heart twinge for Dominik who is clearly still beating himself up and more of her doubts about his feelings for her fall away.

“Dom” Nessa softly calls his name, making him stop walking and look at her. She reaches up and pulls him down, their lips meeting together sweetly, Nessa kissing him all over his face making Dominik blush at the excess of affection. “Dom, you really were just scared and didn’t know how to deal with your emotions weren’t you?” Nessa asks in between kisses and she feels him not his head. “Ducky just talk to me ok, next time you are overwhelmed or have doubts just talk to me so we don’t get that tension and can work it out ok?” Nessa grabs either side of Dom’s face and gently kisses his lips again and beams at the smile Dom has on his face.

“Yeah I promise, Luz de mi vida.” Dom kisses the tip of her nose again and smiles as she scrunches up her nose. He grabs her hand and takes her over to the aisles of claw machines.

“Speaking of talking, I do want to bring up this morning, Mi cielo,” Dom states, swiping his card and trying to win Nessa a stuffed animal. Nessa whines clearly wanting to put off the conversation but it needs to be had. “Damian would never blatantly ignore a boundary any of us set, least of all you. This morning he forgot himself and was just venting. He needed to get it off his chest. That does not make him saying what he said ok but I thought you would like to know the thought process behind it. You don’t know him or them like you know me but I know them well. He cares deeply about you, and just wants you safe and happy and can’t stand the thought of you being hurt even now. It reminds him too much of his past.” Dom explains and curses when he loses yet again.

“Here let me try Mi Rey.” She asks, gently putting her hands on his hands to guide the stick and he freezes and stands there looking down at her in shock as she guides the claw with his hand and drops the claw. She releases her hand and starts jumping up and down clapping as the bear is dropped down the chute. Dominik smiles widely and grabs it, handing it to her and pulls her to his side as she grips the bear and hugs it to her chest.

“Let's go play some more games, Princesa.” Dom suggests and kisses the top of her head and guides her to some of the stupid ticket games he knows she likes. He swipes his card and has her play the game while he holds the silly little bear for her. Looking at her like she hung the moon and stars and is the reason for the earth to turn.

Nessa finishes the game and turns around to face him, her hair whipping around behind her. A smile so big on her face Dominik is sure her cheeks have to hurt. “Thank you Dom, Do you want a turn?” Nessa asks, gesturing to the game and Dom returns the smile and shakes his head.

“Go ahead Mi Sol, have fun you deserve it. Can I continue the conversation from earlier while you do?” He asks and she nods as she swipes her card and has another go at the game. He knows she is willing to listen and is just trying to control her temper which can be as fiery as her hair.

“I meant what I said earlier, he wouldn’t violate the boundary. He just needed to vent. Look there is something there in his past as there is in yours. Ask him. Hear him out just as you have heard me out. We are used to him needing to vent when something happens. You are not and can’t always handle the venting which is not your fault.” Dominik explains as Nessa finishes the round again. She walks a few feet away to another game, Dominik following her and continues,

“When we get back and you talk to him please just have an open mind and for the love of god ask him why he did it, where he was mentally and what he was thinking. It's like the door thing. He has been actively working on unlearning the toxic masculinity we grew up with and that includes beating the shit out of people who harm women and children. Though you know our opinions on that Mi Vida.” Dom explains feeling like he explained well enough and hopefully opened her mind a little to hear Damian out.

“I can see where he is trying and where he is coming from. I will hear him out when we are back, I promise Dom. It just threw me for a loop when he said he won’t promise not to cross a boundary I clearly just set.” Nessa sighs and leans her back against Dom who wraps his arms around her, the panda bear still in his hand.

“That also reminds me, why are you so adamant about us not doing anything if we ever find out who hurt you. Is it a possibility we know him? Dominik asks, his voice a whisper in her ear and he feels her tense up and her breath catches and he has the answer. He sighs and kisses the back of her head. “I’m sorry Princesa, forget I asked I won’t bring it up again.” He promises. He feels her relax a little against him, some tension still there but he knows that she believes him. “Come on let's go get you a smoothie and maybe we can go to Hot Topic before we leave and you can get some more clothes that you can leave at Mami’s so you don’t have to bring so much every time we come home.” Dominik asks, swaying them back and forth.

“Yeah I’d like that” Nessa agrees, craning her head back to look up at him and kisses his jaw. Dominik breaks their embrace and hands her the bear and takes her free hand and guides her out of the Arcade and back into the mall and towards the food court. ___________________________________________________________________________

Dominik and Nessa return to Rhea’s house a few hours later. Like before Nessa waits for him to come around the car and open the door for her before going to grab the pile of bags she amassed shopping at the mall. She eyes him with a slight look of guilt on her face. “I’m sorry sweetpea I went a little overboard.” Nessa apologizes and walks a little ahead of him to open the door so he doesn’t have to struggle as much. They enter the house and walk into the living room.

Nessa looks around and sees only Rhea lounging on the couch, her dogs cuddling up on her. “Where are the others?” Nessa asks as Dominik shuffles past her lugging her many bags of clothes to put in the spare room for her.

“They are training, I finished early and came home and did my Interview. Why so many bags and the cute panda bear?” Rhea answers and asks a few questions of her own. Nessa blushes and heads over to the couch and sits down Barry getting on her lap immediately.

“I wanted some clothes here so I wouldn’t have to pack so much if that is ok. It was Dom’s idea.” Nessa answers looking at Rhea with wide eyes the realization of how that sounded and the possible implications.

“Oh that's fine Bunny, do you want it in the spare room or in the master bedroom?” Rhea asks badly, hiding her excitement at the admission Nessa gave. Rhea throws her arm over Nessa’s shoulders and just pulls her closer leaving room for Dominik who appears moments later and takes the seat next to Nessa, also wrapping his arm around Nessa’s shoulder.

“Are the others still training?” Dominik asks and Rhea nods and Nessa just wiggles getting comfortable in the cuddle pile of dogs and two of her partners. They stay like that, comfortable watching the show Rhea had on the tv, no need to talk just enjoying each other and commenting on the stupidity of the characters and joking. It isn’t long before Finn and Damian return, still sweaty from the intensity of their workout.

“How was training today?” Nessa asks the pair, glad she didn’t have to do it. She is still sore from the previous day.

“It was good, we worked out a good bit of frustrations didn’t we Damian?” Finn explains and claps Damian on the shoulder who rolls his eyes and shrugs him off.

“Hey Nes, are you ok to wait to talk until after I shower?” Damian asks, not wanting her to feel like he is trying to avoid it.

“Yeah go ahead Luis. Don’t need you stinking up my room” Nessa jokes, and Damian exhales and relaxes his posture a bit. Joking is a good sign. Honestly he would prefer anything to the silence he got from her earlier, anything but that. He wants to go over and hug her just to play around but is unsure if she is ok with it. Nessa looks at Damian and sees the cogs turning in his twisted little mind and she smirks and gives him a look that says I dare you. He notices this and smirks and goes over plopping down on their laps, the dogs huffing and jumping off the couch.

“Luis ewwww you’re all sweaty and getting me all stinky get off you big lug” Nessa whines and tries and fails to push him off her lap while the others just laugh. Dominik has a look of relief on his face.

“Go shower stinky so we can talk and I can make dinner after. I’m hungry.” Nessa whines again and Damian just laughs. Nessa pleadingly looks at the other three that Damian is also laying on and they nod and simultaneously push him off their laps and on the floor. He looks up at them shocked for a moment before they all bust out in laughter.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Damian says in between laughs, holding his ribs from laughing so hard.

“Good now go shower, you are helping me cook tonight after we talk. It’s time I put you to work.” Nessa shoos him so they can continue the show. She winks at him, the little gesture tells him they are ok and he nods and disappears from view. Dom smiles watching the exchange, snuggling up to Nessa who is snuggling up to Rhea in one big cuddle pile, minus the other two men who decided to go and shower.

___________________________________________________________________________

Before long Finn and Damian come back out, both shirtless with only a pair of sleep pants on. Finn jumps over the back of the couch and lands on Dominik who huffs and groans. Damian rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's antics and just walks around the couch like a normal person and clears his throat. Nessa turns her head to face him and untangles herself from the pile and gets up to the pouts of the others.

Nessa follows Damian to the Master bedroom where he holds the door open from her and follows her in. She sits on the bed and scoots back so her back is against the headboard and she gestures for him to get on the bed facing her. He looks confused and just stands there until Nessa crosses her arms, flickering her eyes back to the mattress in front of her.

He sighs and complies, getting on the bed, crossing his long legs and sitting opposite Nessa. She uncrosses her arms and waits for him to start. He just sits there awkwardly, unsure how to start and Nessa feels the tension building so she decides to start.

“Dominik explained and I want to say I understand. I just needed time to process and sort my thoughts out. Why didn’t you try to explain and let me get upset? All you had to do was tell me you were just venting and wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t want it. I need clear communication Luis. I can’t play the guessing game.” Nessa adjusts on the bed crossing her legs the other direction and holds out her hands for Damian to grab which he does gently and brings one hand to his face and places a kiss on her knuckles.

“I know Mariposa. I was just shocked and scared and froze up. I didn’t want to trigger you again and I was afraid I did and didn’t know how to fix it. The last thing I ever want to do is to trigger you, make you scared or god forbid hurt you.” He explains, his thumbs rubbing circles against her palms. Nessa pulls herself closer to him their knees almost touching. She starts swinging their hands back and forth between them trying to loosen them both up.

“I know there are things in your past that influence who you are and how you act and react and that is something you are working on unlearning and that is something I can understand.” Nessa swallows trying to gain the courage to ask what she needs to ask. Finally, she takes a deep breath and goes for it.

“I know there are demons in your past like mine and you probably don’t want to talk about it… and you can say no and not answer but, why. Why do you react so strongly, so violently? Especially when it comes to my past abuse.” Her hands start to shake in Damian’s as she asks and he brings them up to his mouth again and kisses each hand before squeezing them and returning their hands to their previous position. Damian clears his throat a few times before answering,

“As you probably know by now my parents split when I was young. Some of my earlier memories are of my dad… disciplining my mom. When I moved with her to Puerto Rico I swore I would never sit by again as that happens to someone and to give them a taste of their own medicine.” Damian's voice is thick, with barely controlled anger, his own hands begin to shake so Nessa squeezes them and lets go so she can crawl onto his lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around her, burying his face in her neck as he continues.

“Then when I was a teen I moved back to New York with my father and he trained me for boxing and I let him treat me like he treated mom and stood by again as he mistreated the women in his life and I hate myself for it. I renewed that promise to myself and stood up to him and that's when I began supporting myself and became a bouncer. Now I see you struggle with the most simple things like handholding because someone like me stood by when you were suffering and did nothing. You set a boundary and I mouthed off without meaning to. If I find out who he is I will do nothing to him. But Mariposa?” Damian uses his pet name for her making her go “Hmm”, and he continues knowing he has her attention, “If I do find out who it is and I see him doing it to someone else I have to intercede, I won’t let it happen to anyone else. It doesn’t even have to be him, If I see anyone doing it I will step in.” Nessa thinks for a moment, playing with Damian's fingers.

“That is fine and I won’t take that away from you. But hear me out on that. Don’t react violently. You can make it worse if they decide to go home with their abuser because they aren't ready to leave. You have to do it smartly.” Nessa explains and shivers, fighting to keep the memories at bay. Damian starts rubbing Nessa’s arms comfortingly,

“Hey you are safe Mariposa, we are not going to let that happen to you again.” Damian promises. Nessa kisses his jaw in response and relaxes more in his hold and hums.

“I know Bombon and I appreciate that thank you.” Nessa wriggles trying to get in a more comfortable position and Damian lets her.

“You don’t have to thank me Mariposa. Not only is it the right thing to do but we wouldn’t let anything happen to you if we could help it.” He kisses the top of her head, thankful she heard him out and understands. He contemplates what she said and realizes she is right; he could do more harm than good with the way he reacts.

“Mariposa, baby, will you help me with that if the situation arises? I don’t want to make those situations worse.” He asks and he feels her nod against his chest. “Is there anything else you wanted to bring up?” Damian asks, wanting to know if he should feel more relieved or not.

“No, but you shared something from your past so I want to do the same if you are ok with that?” Nessa responds and scoots a little to lean back and look up at him with her best puppy eyes. Damian simultaneously laughs and groans, scared of what she is going to say.

“Go ahead, Mariposa.” He gives the go-ahead and tickles her sides making her jump and pout, sticking out her tongue momentarily.

“When I was a kid…” She starts only for Damian to cut her off,

“When like last year?” he teases, thinking about their age difference.

It makes Nessa huff, “Well if you don’t want to hear it we can just go back out there and make dinner…” She points to the door and tries to get off of Damian's lap but fails because he doesn’t let go of her.

He laughs at her frustration thinking it is cute. “No, I’m sorry, Mariposa, continue, please.” He asks once she stops wiggling about. Nessa huffs and crosses her arms and turns up her head. “Oh come on baby don’t be like that I’m sorry.” He apologizes and Nessa shakes her head no and tries to swipe his hands away when he tickles her again. “You are so cute when you are angry, like a kitten who can't defend itself.” He coos as she tries and fails to stop him from tickling her.

“Well this kitten has claws, keep trying me Priest!” Nessa struggles to get out in between involuntary giggles as he keeps tickling her. She struggles against him and is able to straddle him and she manages to make him lose his balance and fall back onto the mattress taking her with him. Their faces close together, both out of breath and smiling.

Nessa nudges her nose against Damians and meets his gaze leaning down and meeting their lips together in a quick shy kiss. Damian swipes Nessa’s hair out of her face and behind her ears, pecking her lips again. She smiles seeing what he is trying to do. She gets off of him and readjusts, laying into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Damian begins gently dragging his hand up and down her arm.

“Ok, Mariposa, tell me the story please.” Damian pleads, wanting to hear what she was going to say. Nessa nibbles on his shoulder making him groan in her ear and tighten his grip on her. “Don’t start the car if you don’t plan to drive it Mariposa. Now tell me what you were going to tell me earlier.” He growls in her ear letting her know she is getting dangerously close to pushing his buttons a little too far.

“When I was a kid I went to a theme park somewhere in Ohio. I think it was Kings Island. Anyway, I was like 6 or 7 and there was a stage in the restaurant so me and my bestie Brooke ran up onto the stage under the blocking ropes and started singing Brittney Spears and dancing. We got kicked out…” Nessa bites her lip and uses her index finger to trace patterns on Damian's chest, her demeanor the complete opposite of the story she just told.

The randomness of the story throws Damian for a loop and he starts laughing, “Ay que linda,” He coos at her once he stops laughing and kisses her head as she hides her face embarrassed about the story so Damian continues “And now look at you back on a stage again, just not singing. Would you sing to me sometime? Dom says you have a beautiful voice.” He maneuvers and changes gears. Nessa mumbles into his chest, low enough he can’t make out what she said. “Try again Mariposa, I couldn’t understand you.” He orders gently, his hand pausing mid-pass on her arm.

Nessa picks up her head and looks at him, “Maybe sometime, I don’t like my voice. I don't know why Dom does. I get nervous easily and draw a blank so it has to happen organically.” Nessa explains, laying her head back down on his shoulder.

“That’s fine Hermosa, I don’t want you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.” He reassures her.

They lay there in comfortable silence for a while until there is a knock at the door. “Hey, I know you aren’t fucking and we are hungry and you promised us dinner. I’m wasting away out here.” Finn's voice comes from the other side of the door.

“Ok, give us a minute you demented leprechaun!” Damian calls out, annoyed that his little pocket of peace was interrupted, even by their boyfriend. Nessa groans and rolls off of Damian and keeps rolling again until she falls off the bed and groans. “Now why did you do that Hermosa?” Damian asks, trying and failing not to laugh at her. She gets to her feet and dusts herself off. Damian gets out of the bed gracefully and waits for her to shuffle over before doing anything. He opens the door for her and holds out his hand which she gladly takes and drags him to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, she starts directing him on what to do and he does it without question. The two of them fall into a rhythm not unlike when Nessa was cooking with Rhea. “Luis, you told me some of your past, tell me some more, whatever you want to share. I want to know more about you.” Nessa asks as she tends to the pan on the stove.

Damian walks behind her and wraps his arms carefully around her waist so as to not jostle her and make her burn herself. “Well, living in Puerto Rico with my mom wasn’t always easy. We didn’t have a lot of money but she made sure I never went hungry. There wasn’t much to do there besides play soccer and baseball. Baseball being my favorite sport as I’ve told you before.” He explains.

“Then let's go to a game sometime. I know we don’t normally get this much downtime but next time let's go. We can all go together if that is something you want?” Nessa offers not wanting it to seem like she is only trying to date him.

“That would be nice Mariposa, both. I like one on one time with you like this and as a group. It’s not one or the other.” He kisses her cheek. "What about you? Tell me more about your past." Damian nips at her ear. Nessa silently stirs the food, sorting through her memories to figure out what to tell him. Finally, she decides on something.

"My bubby, my grandmother, would sneak me my favorite snacks when mom would decide to try being orthodox and keep kosher and modesty laws. There are a lot of laws regarding food. I don't keep kosher for a number of reasons. One being mom was never consistent in following them. Another is that I'm not exactly religious anymore. But I still observe some of the holy days to keep the culture alive and plan to pass it down." She smiles at the memory of her grandma sneaking her non kosher candy.

"What kind of candy did she sneak you mariposa?" Damian asked, ready to make a mental list.

"Oh stuff like normal marshmallows, pork rinds, that was a big one mom got pissed at, skittles and non-kosher chocolates. The list is long, I can show you if you go shopping with me next time…” Nessa offers, very much wanting him to go with her. She feels him nod against her head and kiss her shoulder. He breaks their embrace and steps back asking what she wants him to do and he jumps to action as she does.

“Tell me something more while we finish this Bombon.” Nessa asks for more and Damian smiles widely, Nessa doing the same, the excitement and happiness contagious. She listens eagerly as he tells her about his first girlfriend and kiss and he returns the same excitement as they trade stories back and forth while they finish plating up the food and bringing it out.