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glam-apollo · 4 years

Text

Title: Mr. Yellow Dies

Fandom: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

Summary: When Jane Oliver approaches Dirk Gently's Holistic Agency about a murder she thinks might have happened years ago without any clues, evidence, or even a victim, the agency quickly agrees to take the case. Dirk, Farah, and Todd find themselves at the Oliver family's Halloween party while investigating and have to participate in the family's Halloween tradition: the murder mystery party game. Will solving this fictional murder help them uncover anything about the real crime they're investigating, or is just a distraction from the actual case? And who died, anyways?

Written for the Halloween @dghdabigbang! @browneyes-asiandragon made some lovely artwork accompanying the story so please go check it out! It’s really amazing!

I’ve included the fic on here but you can also read it on ao3 if preferred.

Mr. Yellow Dies

Knock! Knock! Knockity-Knock!

There was a pause before the sound of footsteps could be heard coming from inside the house. The front door creaked open. The man opening the front door was tall, well-built, with dark hair that flopped nicely over his forehead. He smiled at the trio that stood on his doorstep but his eyes betrayed confusion. "Can I help you? You seem a bit old for trick or treating."

Todd Brotzman looked at the man standing next to him out of the corner of his eyes. What were the three of them doing there? They certainly were an odd trio--Holmes, Watson, and a Care Bear, all a good fifteen years too old to be ringing doorbells asking for candy. What was his plan? He'd been vague as ever on the way over, assuring Todd that it was a party, a party for the case, and everyone loved parties, now, didn't they? So come along!

The whole ordeal had started with a simple statement. “I’ve been invited to a party twice,” Dirk Gently announced to his friends proudly in their agency’s office. “And, as much as I’d like to think this shows I’ve come far in my social standing, I’m afraid there will be no possible way for me to attend this party twice at the same time.”

"Two invites?" Farah Black said. “You got two invites to the Olivers' Halloween party?”

“Indeed I did, Farah!” Dirk said.

Todd set down the files he had been sifting thru. “How’d you manage that?”

“My natural charms and talents, of course,” Dirk said, pretending to be offended. “Geez, Todd.”

"What’s the plan, then? I don’t want to sit around, waiting for a report of two party-crashers getting shot." Farah pursed her lip. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Todd said. “I’ll stay back.”

"Au, contraire!" Dirk said. "Farah will be accepting my invitation from Jane. I will be going with my invite from Lenny. And Todd will be going as my date."

"Right, okay," Farah shrugged.

"What?" Todd said.

That had been five days ago. Since then it had been a flurry of finding costumes, Dirk obsessively dragging Todd and Farah into any Halloween themed store he could find, arguing he hardly ever went to parties, much less costume parties, so they should indulge him. Todd secretly thought that it was very likely Dirk had a long streak of elaborate costume parties from his days back in England, but he held his tongue. Seeing Dirk delighted by styrofoam coffins and confused by slutty fireman costumes was worth keeping his own suspicions withheld.

In the end, Dirk had somehow managed to convince Todd that a Sherlock-Watson duo costume was a good idea. “You see,” he pointed out, “no one would suspect actual detectives to dress as detectives for Halloween! That would be absurd.” Todd agreed that, yes, it would be absurd. Dirk bought him a bowler hat anyways.

Farah had been quietly indecisive about her costume all month. Todd hadn’t been sure what she’d go as--she’d shown interest in a variety of things, from a champion scuba diver she said was a childhood hero to the main character of the action novels she’d been obsessively reading during downtime in the office. In the end, she ended up with a Care Bears onesie Tina had lent her after, from what Todd understood, a very long phone call about how stressful Halloween was and a subsequent long drive to Bergsberg on the 30th.

Back at the front door, Dirk smiled at the man questioning them. The man was quite handsome, with a square jaw and tough cheekbones. Almost too classically handsome, Todd thought to himself. But it worked with his costume--some variation on Dracula--which became apparent when he opened his mouth and showed off his tiny fangs.

"Max Oliver?" Dirk asked confidently.

"Yes," the man said, eyebrows raised, fangs revealed in the O his mouth formed. "And you are?"

"Dirk Gently," he said, pushing the front of his deerstalker cap out of his face. "I was invited by Lenny. This is my date, Todd, and this is the lovely Farah Black, who was invited by Jane."

"I've never seen any of you before in my life," Max admitted. "I didn't know guests could invite guests, either."

"It would be a bit awkward to send Todd home now, wouldn't it?" Dirk said pointedly.

"Dirk," Todd groaned.

"No, I mean, I didn't realize Lenny could invite guests," Max said, shaking his head. "Although, I suppose he's never really been one to follow our family's ideals."

"Is that so!" Dirk said, giving his friends a pointed look.

Max nodded. "It isn't my place, of course, but I consider him an outsider to our family." Max stared up and down at the three of them, as if to make a point that they were even more outsiders than Lenny. After a beat, he sighed and opened the door for them. "You might as well come in. I’ll at least give Mother the final call on you three."

Dirk smiled and gave his companions a thumbs up before walking into the house after Max. Todd and Farah followed, Todd already regretting his itchy costume, Farah already regretting her lack of weaponry.

Max led them into a lounge where five other people sat around in couches and chairs, chatting quietly to themselves. Todd only recognized one of them--Jane Oliver, their client. She was the reason they were here in the first place, the reason the case had been opened. She was small both in size and presence, the youngest of the three Oliver siblings, still in her teens. She was wearing a mostly plain, long red dress, which Todd assumed must be some sort of Princess--Princess Bride? Cinderella? Sleeping Beauty? He hadn't the slightest clue.

Jane was sitting next to an older woman, presumably her mother, the infamous Cordelia Oliver. Cordelia was the owner of the local community theater and a force to be reckoned with. She had lost some of her dazzle with the passing of her husband, Jules. Jules Oliver had been her partner in the theater, her partner in their home, her partner on the stage. Losing him meant she had lost love. Yet none of her fierceness faded; if anything, it grew into a strong and steady resentment towards the world and life itself.

Dirk smiled at two men sitting on the couch opposite Cordelia and Jane. "Lenny! Daniel!" he said. Daniel Oliver was the middle child of the family. College-aged and somewhat unmotivated, he was a stand out in his family of determined extroverts. His boyfriend, Lenny Anderson, seemed to represent everything the rest of the family couldn't stand about Daniel and worse. His lazy nature, lack of care for anything, inability to make and hold commitments annoyed the Olivers on the best of days. Lenny couldn’t keep a job, stay on a major, anything. At least he made Daniel happy.

Max flocked to a woman standing alone by the bookshelf. Adrianna Waye. She was the star in most of the local theater productions and Max's fiancé. She was gorgeous, elegant, and, by all accounts, extremely unpleasant to be around. Cordelia loved her.

Farah and Dirk had been doing most of the research on the family, while Todd had been going back and tracing old case files, trying to find a crime or a missing person or an unsolved murder that would otherwise connect with the case. He hadn't found anything, not anything they could confirm at least. Todd reflected on how this had all started. Jane Oliver had stumbled into the agency one day, clutching a yellowed composition notebook and trembling a bit, explaining that she had seen a crime, a murder, as a child. She had blacked it out and forgotten it until now, but going back through her diaries, she had found her recounting of the crime. It was dark, she explained, so she couldn't really tell them who or what. She thought it was a man--or maybe a boy. It was someone with a small build, and they were attacking another person brutally. She couldn't remember what happened after that, just terror, sheer terror.

They had a murder to solve. With no evidence of the murder having actually happened besides a child's diary. No suspects, no victims, nothing. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency gladly took the case.

The crime had taken place in the backyard of this family property, Halloween ten years ago, when Jane was only six. At least, she said, according to her diary. Her memories of that Halloween were all jumbled--something about her family, lots of yelling, some sort of dispute. And the crime, the attack that she could only remember that she forgot.

"Max?" Cordelia asked. "Who are our other new guests?"

"I don't know, Mother," Max answered evenly. "Why don't you ask Lenny? Or Jane?"

Cordelia narrowed her eyes and focused her gaze on Lenny. "Leonard?"

"Geezy, m'am," Lenny sighed. "I invited Dirk here as a plus one."

"You're already a plus one!" she shrieked. "And what about these other two?"

"Todd is my plus-one!" Dirk chirped.

"A plus one can't invite another plus one who invites his own plus one!"

"Ah," Dirk said quickly, "but wouldn't me having invited my own plus one make us our own set of guests?"

"Daniel, do you know these men?" Cordelia demanded.

"A bit," Daniel said without looking up from his phone.

"And what about this woman? Who the hell is she?"

"Ah," Jane said softly. "Mother, I invited her." After Dirk had determined who was accepting what invitation, they had reached out to Jane to tell her about Farah, not wanting there to be any mix up. They had decided on a brief backstory and that was that.

"Who is she?" Cordelia demanded.

"She's a school tutor. She tutors me and some of my friends in the library," Jane answered evenly. Todd wondered if they should at all be concerned about what ease and grace their client was able to lie through their teeth. But really, he thought, that was what they were all doing. They had no reason to be at that party.

Cordelia Oliver knew that.

She was a queen surveying her kingdom, and she was not pleased with what she saw. Todd felt himself holding his breath, ready to be kicked out at any second. To his surprise, she sighed, deciding this battle was not worth fighting today. "Fine," she said. "You can stay. You're lucky the party kit I bought comes with extra characters."

"Party Kit?" Todd said, feeling any ounce of relief of not being kicked out dissipate.

The Olivers had a tradition, a tradition that went back for at least the last eight years, maybe more. They would every Halloween have a murder mystery themed party. They would purchase a "party kit," either from an online retailer, or, some years when they felt particularly excited, commissioned from a friend. The kit would give each guest at the party a character and a few clues. In the course of three rounds they would develop their characters, discover and investigate a "murder," and have the murderer finally revealed in the third and final round. It was truly perfect for a family of actors, though as the kids grew up and her husband passed away, it was something Cordelia clung onto more than anyone else. The schitick was getting old. But she wouldn't let go.

Cordelia started passing out envelopes with character names on them. "You all know how the game goes," she said, a stage voice taking over, complete with pause for dramatic effect. "Tonight, one of us will die. Tonight, one of us will kill. Tonight, we will all solve a murder." Jane looked white as a sheet hearing her mother's words and looked to Dirk. Dirk smiled back at her reassuredly.

"We have a few extra guests tonight," Cordelia continued, handing an envelope to Adrianna and another one to Max. "Let us hope they survive the night."

"God, Mother," Daniel said, continuing to focus on Candy Crush rather than the manila envelope he'd been slipped. "There's no need to be so melodramatic."

Cordelia paused and looked at him with stony eyes. "Tonight," she said, "we are all actors. Whether we like it or not." Lenny smiled at his boyfriend encouragingly, reminding him it wouldn't be too bad. Daniel glared back at him. He knew this tradition far too well and was not pleased to put on a performance for his mother’s sake.

"Great!" Dirk said, happily accepting his envelope. "So, how does the game work exactly?"

"There are three rounds," Max said, walking away from the wall to behind the sofa his mother sat at. "Round one, we all open our envelope and look at our character and the clues we are given. We mingle as the characters, deciding whether or not we want to share our clues with the others."

"Round two!" Cordelia jut in. "Someone will have instructions telling them they will 'die.' After their 'death' occurs we will have another round in which to mingle and see if we can discover which of us might've had the motive to 'kill.'"

"I feel as though we've grown out of this, mother," Daniel said. "It's just glorified Mafia. When will you give it up already?"

"I find it very fun, Daniel," Cordelia snapped. "It's the least you could do for your poor mother."

Daniel sighed.

"And what about the third round?" Farah asked lightly.

"Third round, we open this envelope," Cordelia said, holding up an envelope that. Unlike the manila ones she had handed out, was a deep red. "It has the answers in it. Then we will find out who was right and who was wrong and who was the killer."

"What a dreadful and yet surprisingly delightful game!" Dirk enthused. Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Quite," she said. "Now, let the games begin."

Everyone began opening their envelopes. Todd ripped the top off of his, wondering how this was in any way going to help them solve the case. Had Dirk known they were going to play this game? He gave Farah a look, who seemed just as lost as him. She shrugged and went back to reviewing the papers from in her envelope.

Todd reviewed his envelope. He was playing as a character called “Mr. Red,” an older gentleman who was a banker. The only clues he was given was that he suspected Mr. Yellow, one of his bank’s employees, of fraud, and that his character saw Madame Orange and Mrs. Indigo discussing something in hushed voices on his way home from work one day. Todd grimaced. They were really about to play live-action Clue.

"Todd." Todd jumped up in surprise as Dirk slipped up next to him. "You know I'm not one for a classical approach," Dirk said, keeping his voice hushed, "but I must admit this situation compels oneself to do some very non-holistic detecting."

"Wouldn't the fact that the situation has arisen at all make it holistic?" Todd pointed out.

"Ah! Great assisting, Todd, or should I say," Dirk looked down at Todd's papers and then back up at him with a pleasant smile, "Mr. Red."

"You're excited for this, aren't you?"

"Quite! But seriously, Todd. Please consider trying to use this as an opportunity to ask key questions that seem like they're about the game but are actually about our investigation."

"Dirk, we still barely have any idea of what we're investigating," Todd sighed.

"Having time set aside to mingle and interrogate should help then!" he replied before disappearing into the room.

"Let round one," announced Cordelia Oliver, "begin!"

Todd sighed, feeling out of his depth. He looked around the room, seeing that people had already begun to talk quietly and exchange clues amongst themselves. The one person left by themselves besides Todd at this point was Daniel Oliver.

Todd sat down next to him. "Sherlock abandoned you, ey, Watson?" Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow but looking otherwise completely disinterested in the appearance of a new person in his vicinity.

Todd laughed nervously. "Dirk? Ah. Well. He's playing the game, same as all of us." He swallowed. "So... what's your character?"

"Mr. Maroon," Daniel said with a slight roll of his eyes.

"I'm Mr. Red," Todd said.

"Practically the same names," Daniel complained. "I know there aren't that many colors in the rainbow, but they could've come up with a better theme. Colors? Mysteries? Incredibly overdone, if you ask me."

"You'd know better than myself," Todd said.

Daniel snorted. "I know far too well. Do you want my clues?"

"Sure," Todd said. "Are you just supposed to give them to people like that?"

"Not if you want the game to be harder," Daniel said. "But I'd rather this be done as quickly as possible. So my character doesn't trust Mr. Yellow or Mrs. Grey."

"I also suspect Mr. Yellow," Todd admitted.

"And it's supposed to be a mystery." Daniel shook his head.

"You've done a lot of these, then?" Todd said.

"Every year. Since what feels like forever. Mother has gotten persistently more annoying about it since Dad died." Daniel looked resentful. "She can't let go of it."

"That must be hard for your family," Todd said.

"Maybe for them," Daniel replied evenly. "I'm glad he's dead."

“Oh.” Todd said. "You don't feel like you're one of them, then?"

"No. I don't want to act. I don't want to be the center of attention. All of them are hardworking attention whores. I truly feel like this tradition is the pinnacle of that. It makes me feel sick."

Todd felt his stomach curl in an uncomfortable way. "You should be careful," he said.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "What, are you going to impart some wise-wisdom on me? I don't care. I don't even know you."

"You're right," Todd said, trying to ignore the feeling that he needed to get Daniel off of the track he was on, lest he fall into the same self-destructive hole of lies that Todd did when he was his age.

"I'm sure you think I'm ungrateful and selfish. But they're cruel to me. And they don't like Lenny either."

"No?"

"No. They hate him even more than me. If I'm a black sheep, he's an entirely different animal to them."

"Five more minutes of round one!" Cordelia shouted from across the room.

Todd stood up from the couch awkwardly. "I should talk to some more people," he said. "Nice to see you, Mr. Maroon."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

Todd wandered around the room, trying to find someone else to talk to, and eventually ended up tapping the shoulder of Adriana Waye, who had been standing by herself in the corner of the room. She flinched and then turned around, her bright green eyes first looking a bit surprised and then totally disengaged.

"I'm Ms. Grey," she said. "I'm Madame Orange’s maid, working for her and her daughter, Mrs. Indigo, and her son-in-law, Mr. Yellow. And you?"

"I'm Mr. Red," he replied. "Uh... I'm a banker."

"The bank owner?" she said quickly. "The man who owns the bank Mr. Yellow works at?"

"I think so," he said.

"Hmm," she said, and Todd got a very distinct feeling that she did not like him at all, although he could not tell if the impression came from her acting or real judgement she was imparting on him.

"I, uh... I think Mr. Yellow is committing bank fraud," Todd said lamely, looking at his notes.

"Would you kill him if he was?" she said, her blue eyes hard and intense.

"What?" Todd said, shrinking back.

"In the game,” she said, her gaze softening slightly. “Obviously.”

"Oh," Todd said. "Wouldn't it be strange for me to suspect myself? I mean, wouldn't that kind of defeat the point?" He paused. "And we don't know Mr. Yellow is going to be the one to die, yet!"

Adrianna looked across the room at Max. "Mr. Yellow is certainly going to be the one to die," she said. "You’ll see."

"How do you know?"

"It's the way these games always work," she said. "God, who invited you again? Have you really never done this before?" Todd shook his head and Adrianna looked exasperated. "Cordelia should've kicked you out."

Todd didn't have a good argument for that. He coughed nervously, feeling weirdly squeamish looking at her dark grey eyes. "So what are your clues?"

She looked absolutely done with him. "You cannot ask me for my clues as yourself. You need to discuss the situation with Ms. Grey as Mr. Red."

"I guess I misunderstood," he said. "You really enjoy the acting part of this, huh?"

"It's a good thing I do," she said. "I'm our theater's biggest star for a reason."

"Cordelia likes you a lot, then?"

Adrianna shrugged. "She likes me. And she loves Max. And Max loves me. It all works out."

"One minute left!" Cordelia shouted.

Adrianna looked irritated. "I really spent some of my time talking with you, huh?" she said, stalking off before Todd could answer.

Todd slouched, taking a deep breath, looking around the room before making eye contact with Farah and meeting her across the room. "I'm Dr. Violet," Farah explained. "I’m Madame Orange’s physician. And you?"

"Mr. Red," he said. "They seem like an awfully happy family, don't they?"

"Mr. Yellow and Mrs. Indigo? Or the Olivers?"

"The latter. Although the former might be true, too, I'm having a hard time keeping up."

She nodded. "Fictionally and factually miserable in both cases. I have a good feeling about our case, though."

"Yeah?"

"I was talking to Jane. She's sweet, you know? And I think we're very close to cracking the case."

"She didn't do it, though. Right?"

"Oh--no. No. But I think someone here did."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel incredibly comfortable being a party crasher here."

"That's the end of round one!" Cordelia shouted.

Dirk noticed Farah and Todd talking together and walked over to them enthusiastically. "Well!" he announced. "I'm not sure what I just learned, but I definitely learned something, which will definitely help solve one, if not two, cases! It's true one has a bit more importance to it, but I'd like to think that in solving our fictional case we'll solve--"

Dirk was cut off by a loud scream from across the room. Max Oliver let out another large cry, holding his hand to his chest, before having his knees buckle underneath him, falling down on his knees, letting out a final sob before collapsing on the floor.

"Oh my god," Farah said.

Cordelia walked over to where her son lay sprawled across the floor and then looked up across the others in the room. "A murder," she said. "Has been committed. Mr. Yellow is dead." Adrianna gave Todd a pointed looking from across the room, her hazel eyes piercing. Todd looked away.

"How ghastly," Dirk said with some enthusiasm. "What a wonderful performance."

Max sat up from his place on the floor and beamed. "Thank you," he said, fangs sticking out.

"Now, for round two," Cordelia announced. "Max will not be able to participate. You must talk amongst yourselves and try to discover which one of you is the killer. We will have ten minutes. Let round two... begin!"

"Alright," Todd said. "I suppose we should get back to mingling..." He looked over to see Dirk's eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. "Dirk?"

"Todd," he said quietly. "Farah. I have the strangest feeling the case of Mr. Yellow is much more tied to our case than we'd thought."

"How so?" Farah asked.

"I'm not quite sure," he said. "Let us try and discover who killed Mr. Yellow. And perhaps that will reveal it to us."

The three nodded and scattered across the room.

Todd found himself in the unfortunate position of being under the immediate scrutiny of Cordelia Oliver.

"I," she announced, "am Madame Orange. I'm afraid we've never had the chance of meeting before."

"Mr. Red," he said shortly. "Banker, Mr. Yellow's boss, I think."

"Ah, yes," she said, face sorrow clouding his face. "My son-in-law’s employer. Isn’t it tragic what has happened to Mr. Yellow?"

Actors, Todd thought, are insane.

"Right," Todd said. "Erm, do you have any idea who... killed him?"

His willingness to play along seemed to please Cordelia. She raised an eyebrow playfully. "I have some idea," she said. "He had a few enemies. I heard," she leaned in, her voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, "he owed some people money. Would you know anything about that? As the banker?"

"Oh," Todd said, trying to remember if he did. "Uh, no. I don't think I knew that. Although I..." he paused, grabbing his notes and looking them over. "I suspected him of committing some sort of fraud."

"Hmm!" she said. "Fraud at the bank isn't a good look for you. Do you think that could stir yourself to kill?"

"Uh--no?" Todd frowned. "I guess I don't know. Am I supposed to defend myself?"

Cordelia seemed disappointed at his breaking character. "It's up to you," she said tightly. "But if you've killed someone, we'll find out in the end, when we open the envelope with the answers to the case."

"Oh," he said. "Well--I guess I don't think Mr. Red, er, me, did it." He paused a beat. "And... why didn't you do it?" he asked, knowing giving Cordelia an excuse to talk should lighten her up.

"Mr. Yellow was my daughter Indigo’s husband! I loved him as if he were my own son. I wouldn’t lay a hand on him unless he did something to hurt my daughter.”

"But what if he did?” Todd pointed out. He looked at his notes. “I saw you discussing something with Mrs. Indigo the day before his death. That doesn’t look particularly good for you, Madame Orange."

"You don't look unsuspicious yourself, Mr. Red. Although I don't think you killed Mr. Yellow."

"No?"

"No. You don't have it in you."

Cordelia turned on her heel and went away to talk to someone else, and Todd felt weirdly stung by her harsh assessment of his fictional banker self.

He wandered across the room, trying to find someone to talk to. He walked past Max and Adrianna who were talking in hushed tones in a language that didn't sound familiar to him. He decided not to interrupt them and turned around, nearly running into Jane Oliver.

"Oh dear," she said. "I am very sorry, Mr. Todd."

"It's okay!" he reassured her. "And tonight, I'm Mr. Red."

She nodded. "I'm Mrs. Indigo." She sighed. "I'm Mr. Yellow's wife, apparently. A bit awkward, I think, for several reasons."

Todd smiled. "Fair enough. I am--or was?--his employer at the bank. I suspected him of fraud. Would you know anything about that?"

"The only way Mr. Yellow was ever a fraud or a phoney was in real life, Mr. Red," she sighed, playing into her character lightly. "I do believe he was having the most awful affair with Mrs. Grey."

"I suppose that made your character--you, I mean--pretty upset."

"Yes." She sighed. "I think it's likely I did it. Or--Mr.s Grey’s husband, Mr. Maroon."

"It's kind of funny suspecting yourself."

"I think it makes the most sense," she said evenly, then in a lower voice, "thank you, by the way. Dirk said you and Farah have been invaluable in helping with..." She looked around. "...with a case."

Had he been helpful? Had any of them been helpful? Todd felt as though he was getting nowhere, stuck in a sludge of clues and names and characters and confusing bits in the middle. He wasn't sure he had done anything effective to help Jane Oliver. He thought about denying her claim, telling her to take it back, telling her that her impression wasn't true. But he swallowed it in his throat. Be nice, Todd.

"You're welcome," he said. "We're trying our best. To solve..." he paused, and added, feeling kind of silly, "...Mr. Yellow's murder." That made the girl laugh, which pleased him.

"Speaking of Dirk," Adrianna said, "here comes Mr. Green." Dirk approached the two of them, grinning brightly.

"Todd! Jane!" he addressed them both with enthusiasm. "I've got half a mind that this is going somewhere!"

"I sure hope so," Todd said.

"I'm glad you think that," Jane said with her shy smile. "I think I'm going to go try to talk to Adrianna." She made a face. "Tell me what you find, later?" she asked Dirk.

"Of course," he promised, waving at her as she made her way across the room. "Todd!" he turned to Todd, his deerstalker hat flopping in front of his eyes. He pushed up the rim. "I think I've found out my motive for killing Mr. Yellow!"

"That's great, Dirk, but.... what? Do you think your character killed him?"

"Oh, no," he said quickly. "I'm Mr. Green, by the way, if I hadn't mentioned it to you. And I don't think it's awfully likely I am the killer, but I love my brother Mr. Maroon a lot, and his wife Mrs. Grey cheated on him with her employer Mr. Yellow!" Dirk sounded enthralled. "The way this game is played is absolutely fascinating, wouldn't you say? I think we should definitely buy one of these for the office during holidays."

"Dirk," Todd said, "there are three of us who work in the office. And... Mona sometimes. I don't think that's enough people."

Dirk frowned. "I guess not."

"Do you have any idea who actually killed Mr. Yellow? Or... about the other thing?"

"No," Dirk admitted. "Well, maybe. There's so many different threads in this game. And it's not exactly... how I do detecting. I think you or Farah would have a better idea, quite honestly. I’ve had a very fun time getting into character and developing Mr. Green, though. I wasn't given much, so I gave him a new profession! I've decided he works for the secret--"

"Dirk," Todd cut him off. "We need to focus. Right?"

Dirk looked a bit put out. "Can't hurt to have a bit of fun, too."

Todd backtracked. "Sure, of course, but I think we're running out of time to investigate--"

"End of round three!" Cordelia announced loudly. The chattering continued. "End! Of round three!" she holler. This time, a hush fell across the room.

"Everyone," she said, her voice commanding the space, "let's gather round in a circle and discuss our theories of who killed Mr. Yellow." She stood behind where Max sat on the couch and put her hands on his shoulders protectively. The party goers made their way to the couches and chairs situated in a nice circle around the coffee table. Once everyone had settled down, Cordelia smiled, although she continued to stand behind Max instead of sitting in the circle herself.

"If someone can say who killed Mr. Yellow and why, with certain accuracy, they win the game." Cordelia held up a bright magenta envelope. "Once everyone has given their input, we'll open the envelope and see who was really the killer. If you are accused of being the murderer, you may defend yourself if you think someone else has done it. Now who would like to start?"

Todd felt Dirk beside him tense in excitement. He wondered if this did have any connection to the case they were here to solve, or if it was a red herring, a detour that would eventually lead them somewhere completely different in order to actually solve the case.

"I'll start," said Adrianna. "I think Mrs. Indigo did it."

Jane frowned. “My character? I guess I don’t think it’s entirely impossible I did…”

“You found out Mr. Yellow was hiding some things from you,” Adrianna said. “Including his affair… with me, Mrs. Grey. So you killed him.”

“Jane?” Cordelia asked. “Do you have someone else you think could’ve done it?”

“I think Mr. Maroon would’ve had half a motive, for the same reason as I.”

“Leave me out of it,” Daniel groaned. “I think it was… uh…” He looked around the room, seemingly trying to pick someone else to become the scrutiny of the conversation. “Madame Orange. She found out Yellow cheated on her daughter.” He shrugged. “She’d be as mad as anyone else.”

Cordelia pursed her lips. “That’s assuming I even knew about the affair. Perhaps I didn't even know until he died! How would you know?”

“Everyone wanted to kill Mr. Yellow,” Dirk muttered to Todd.

“Madame Orange was angry after her check up with Dr. Violet before the murder happened,” Farah pointed out. “Although she didn’t say why. It could’ve been about the affair.”

“Everyone wanted to kill Mr. Yellow!” Dirk said again, sounding surprised. Todd looked at him and he grinned back.

“I was upset because my gardener, Mr. Turquoise, had quit in a huff.”

“You fired me!” Lenny butted in. Todd realized he’d barely spoken to half of the people playing the game, feeling suddenly like he’d shown up for a test he hadn’t studied for. “And I certainly didn’t kill Mr. Yellow!”

“Alright,” said Cordelia. “But I deny that I did. I still find Mr. Maroon awfully suspicious.”

Daniel glowered at his mother. “If you won’t admit it, I’ll accuse someone else. Like….” He looked around the room. “...my brother. Mr. Green.”

Dirk smiled. “It could have been me,” he said. “I love my brother, Mr. Maroon. I found out Mr. Yellow was having an affair with his wife. And I felt this was an affront to my family. But I think we are focused much too narrowly on the what and the why. In fact,” he said. “I think we are far too focused on this game.”

“Too focused on the game?” Lenny said. “Isn’t that the point of the final round?”

“The point of the final round,” Dirk said confidently, “is to find out who killed Mr. Yellow and Max Oliver.”

“Oh,” Todd said softly. Dirk had solved it.

“I am Mr. Yellow,” Max said.

"Exactly! So the question we have to answer," Dirk continued, "is who killed Max Oliver. I, of course, have my own theories, but I would like to share last. Mrs. Cordelia. I still find you a bit suspect. Why don't you tell us again why you aren't the killer?"

Cordelia stiffened in offense. "Why am I not the killer? You must be kidding me! I just went over this. I wouldn’t hurt my own son!"

"Ah, but perhaps Max wasn't the child you wanted. And neither was Daniel. And neither was Jane. You wanted a child who was a star, Mrs. Oliver. And you knew you'd never get that if you didn't intervene yourself."

Adrianna narrowed her eyes. "He knows this is a game, right? We aren’t our characters."

Dirk's eyes lit up. "Ah! And Adrianna Waye. What an interesting piece of this puzzle you are."

Adrianna shifted uncomfortably. "Don’t even bother accusing me of killing him. I was the one who was having an affair with him. I was one of his only allies. It wouldn’t make sense."

"No, you're right," Dirk agreed. "It wouldn’t make sense. Besides that, a lady such as yourself seems unlikely to get her hands dirty with murder." He paused. "She'd make someone else do it."

Adrianna turned to Max and laughed. "What is he talking about? This isn't connected to the game at all."

"You know what it's about--"

"Ah!" Farah cut in. "I have a theory. Did Lenny's character actually do it? Mr. Turquoise was Madame Orange’s gardener, so maybe he saw something at the house, like the affair. Blackmail gone wrong type situation."

Dirk nodded. "Lenny seems a bit suspicious, doesn't he?" He looped around the living room, ending behind Lenny's chair. "Lenny, what do you have to say to that?"

"I don't know,” Lenny said. “I don't think my character ever actually interacted Max, though, did he?"

"Exactly," Dirk said. "Lenny is too much of an outsider. He might not like Max, but there was no reason he would want to kill him. He wasn't even present at the crime scene. Now, Daniel, however..."

"Wouldn't it be my luck to pick the character who's the killer three years in a row?" Daniel sulked, shooting his mother a look.

"Of course Daniel could have been jealous of Max. Jealous of how his mother adored him and doted on him. But... that doesn't explain why he would kill him." Dirk turned to Jane. "Do you understand what I'm getting at, Miss Jane?"

Jane's eyes widened. "But I still don't understand! Who--who did I see die on that night?"

“Who did you see die on what night?” Cordelia turned to her daughter, her eyes narrowed. “Jane, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Sorry, mother,” Jane whispered softly. “But yes. Ten years ago, I saw a murder.” Dirk gave Farah a small nod and Farah quietly moved to block the one door that led out of the study. Todd moved towards the window, having a strong feeling that any possible exit was soon going to quickly need to be blocked. Jane continued, “These people have been trying to help me solve the murder, mother. But… But I don’t know who did it, or who even died…” She trailed off, looking small and lost in her big velvet chair.

“You’re detectives?” Cordelia demanded.

"Indeed,” Dirk said. “Quite a good disguise, right? Now, Jane, the person you saw being murdered on that night was your brother, Max."

"But that's absurd!" Cordelia burst out. "Max is right here!" Max stood behind his mother, his expression stony.

"That," Dirk pointed to Max, "is certainly someone going by the name Max and living his life as if he were Max Oliver. But that is not your biological son, Max Oliver. He was killed on this day, ten years ago, in your back garden."

"Don't be absurd," Max cut in, his voice cold and stiff. "You've been talking nonsense all night."

"Have you ever," Dirk said, "met an actor who was so incredible that sometimes you didn't even know they were acting?" Todd got the very distinct feeling Dirk was thinking of Mona. "I have. And I will tell you this much. When someone who is talented enough chooses to not be found, they won't be."

"You're crazy," Max said. "You have no proof."

"Alright," Dirk said. "Maybe I'm wrong. Then answer me this. How come you and Adrianna talk in a language no one has ever heard when you think you're alone?"

"What?"

“Oh!” Todd cut in. "And is that why Adrianna’s eye color shifts so dramatically? I wasn’t imagining that?"

"People's eye color can shift--"

"Not from light blue to deep brown they can't,” Dirk said, nodding at Todd.

Max snorted. "Just because you're dressed as a detective doesn't mean you can say whatever you'd like and expect it to go over."

"Alright," Dirk said. "Let me read from this journal," Dirk said, reaching into his trenchcoat and pulling out a copy of Jane's diary that they had photocopied and brought along. Todd hadn't realized Dirk’s intentions in bringing the copy along--but he wasn’t sure Dirk had known until this exact moment, either.

"’October 31st, 2008,’" Dirk read aloud. "’Dear Diary, Today I saw something very frightening. It was during the Halloween party, I went out in the back garden to get a bit of fresh air and because everyone was very loud. When I was out there, I thought I heard someone screaming. I thought maybe it was one of my brothers, and so I ran. I saw a figure in the dark standing over someone else, but when I got to where I saw their silhouettes across the garden, they were gone. I saw something I thought could've been blood or beer or water but it was too dark to see. I'll go and see if it's still there tomorrow. I don't know what I saw. I went inside and told mama and papa about it. Papa joked that I'd seen a ghost on Halloween. I don't know. Love, Jane.’"

"I know who Jane saw that night," said Dirk. He pointed at Max. "She saw you. And she saw her brother, Max."

"I am her brother Max," Max replied evenly.

"Oh please," Dirk said. "Will you give that up already? You may live as Maxwell Oliver but you were at least not born that way. You weren't born in this town, or, quite frankly, even this planet."

"What're you going to do about it?" Adrianna said, rising to her feet.

"Adrianna," Max snapped. "Sit down."

"I'm going to..." Dirk said confidently, and then stopped. "Well, I hadn't really thought of that."

“It’s true,” Jane said softly. Cordelia had stepped away from Max and was now standing behind her daughter. She placed a hand on Jane’s shoulder, looking tense. Jane looked up at Cordelia. “It’s true, mother. It was Max I saw on that night. It must’ve been…”

Max frowned. “Are you really going to believe this, Mother? Believe all this slander about your favorite son?” His eyes narrowed. “I’ve been so good to you… an absolute star, in fact. Don’t tell me you believe some sort of alien-murder plot thought up by a stranger over the word of your own son?”

Cordelia Oliver's eyes clouded over. "I'm not sure, Max."

"I cannot believe this," Max said. Adrianna fidgeted in her chair uncomfortably. "Do you know everything I've given for this family? Everything me and Adrianna have given for you, Mother?"

"What are you?" Dirk asked curiously. "You must be something quite interesting. And..." He paused, his nose bunched up. "...and either undetectable or fifteen years new to this planet."

"We were undetectable," Adrianna said.

"Adrianna!" Max barked. "Will you shut up?"

"Oh, give it up, Max," she said irritably. "He's caught us in our game. Might as well admit it." She turned to Dirk. "You wouldn't really believe it if we were from a different planet."

"I certainly would," he said. "I've come across a fair few extraterrestrials in my time. I don't suppose you communicate through music on your planet?"

"What?" she snapped. "No. Don't be stupid. You were right, we communicate in our own language. And these weren't our original forms." Max glared at her, his lips pursed in determined silence. "But there's no way for you to prove that, you know? That's the best thing about what we are."

"Oh god," Cordelia said, holding her hand over her mouth.

"And what is that?" Dirk asked.

"Can't pronounce it in your language. In fact, you numbskulls hardly have the language to describe it. Leech? Reincarnate? Phoenix?" Adrianna seemed almost pleased by this, as if the fact that she was somewhat undefinable was a final act of rebellion against whatever separated her from them. "The point is," she said, "we take on different forms over our lives. We essentially could live forever--as long as we kill before our vessel dies. When that happens, we take on the form of whatever we last killed."

"Woah," Dirk said.

"What happens to the body?" Farah said, eyeing Max and Adrianna nervously while still guarding the door.

"We become the body," Adrianna said as though it were obvious. "The last vessel we occupied turns to dust once we leave it for good, once there's no use for it anymore."

"And you killed Max and took his body," Jane said softly, looking Max straight in the eyes. Max frowned and looked away.

"What--what now?" Daniel asked nervously, looking between Max and Adrianna. The room was filled with a tense air.

Max sighed, breaking the silence. "This is truly awful," he said, his tone almost bored, "I never wanted it to come to this, and I am very sorry. I did love you, Mother," he said to Cordelia. "Unfortunately..." He reached into his coat pocket, pulling something small and metallic out, "...the two of us will have to kill all of you now that you've discovered our secret."

Max Oliver had a gun. The room broke out into hectic noise. Cordelia screamed, Daniel let out a large stream of profanities, Todd started to argue with Max, and Dirk shouted something about everyone needing to talk this out, please, and not have so much killing all the time. Everyone was on their feet in a few seconds. Todd and Farah exchanged a look, guarding the door and window respectively, not sure if they should run or stand their guard. The only person who remained sitting was Max Oliver.

"No one move!" he barked. "Shut up!" And he was pointing the gun, and the room quickly fell silent. "You see," he said. "You all have made this so hard for me and my dear EtTew0si." He stood up from where he sat and went to the bookshelf, grabbing a candlestick. He handed it to Adrianna who smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Now who's first?" Max said, sounding almost bored. Todd gave a sideways glance to Farah and mouthed the word "gun." She shook her head, mouthing back a long sentence. He had forgotten he couldn't read lips.

"Oh Jane," Max said. "Why not you? This whole dilemma is your fault, now, isn't it?"

"It's not my fault," Jane said, trembling but holding her voice steady. "None of this would've happened if you hadn't hurt Max."

Max pursed his lips, ignoring her comment. "Come here, and we'll make this quick and painless," he said.

"No," she said, holding her ground.

Adrianna shoved her forward from behind, pushing her with the end of the candlestick. "Do what he says!" she said.

Jane opened her mouth to make a retort but decided against it. She looked back at the other people in the room, staring hopelessly.

"My dear sister," Max said, pointing the gun at her head. Adrianna stayed behind her, holding the candlestick up. "I am sorry it had to come to this."

"No, you're not," she said, tears forming in her eyes.

"You're right," he laughed. "I'm not."

The next few seconds were a whirlwind. Farah leapt up from her place by the door to in front of Max, grabbing Jane out of the line of fire as Max pulled the trigger. Adrianna, not realizing what had happened before it was too late, didn't dodge and instead was hit squarely in the head with the bullet Max had fired. Adrianna barely had a second to let out a cry of pain before her body turned to dust, drifting down to the floor, lifeless. Max whirled around, still holding his gun, pointing it at Farah and Jane where they sat on the floor.

"You think you're real smart, huh?" he demanded. "What--"

A bang fired in the room.

Max stopped talking.

Max stopped breathing.

Max fell over onto the floor, fading into a pile of dust.

Across the room, Cordelia Oliver held up her pearl handled pocket purse pistol, smoke still drifting off the tip of the weapon, tears streaking her face.

The next week, Jane Oliver visited Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective agency. She knocked lightly before walking into the office. "Hello!" she said.

"Jane Oliver!" Dirk said, his entire face lighting up. He jumped up from his desk. "How are you doing?"

She smiled sadly. "This whole ordeal has been a lot for my family... but I think we are better for it. We've all been trying to understand, of course. But it's brought us closer too."

"I'm glad to hear that," Farah smiled, looking up from her desk. "Thank you for visiting, Jane."

Jane nodded. "I’m to give you these." She passed two envelopes to Dirk.

He looked at her, confused. "What?"

"For the case," she said softly.

"Ms. Jane, I was under the distinct impression that we were not taking payment from you," he said. He passed the envelopes back to her. "In fact, I insist on it. I don't want to take money from you."

She laughed. "It's not from me. It's from my mother. She's going through a lot, as we all are, but she's extremely grateful to you guys." She shrugged. "She didn't actually tell me what was in those. Just to deliver it to you three."

"Well, thank you," Dirk said, surprised, taking the envelopes back from her.

"Yes!" she said. "And thank you guys... for everything. The truth is hard, but I'm glad I know it. And..." she turned to Farah, "thank you for saving my life."

Farah smiled awkwardly. "I mean, yes. Of course. That is... yes. You're welcome."

She beamed at them. "I'll be sure to recommend you guys, although I don't know how many other sixteen year olds have use of a detective agency."

Dirk smiled. "Thank you Jane."

She nodded once more. "Goodbye!" They waved and wished her well and then she was on her way.

"I wonder what Cordelia sent," Todd said.

"Let us see!" Dirk said. “This first envelope is addressed to ‘Dirk Gently & Co.’ Fancy!” He tore the envelope open, pulling it out and looking it over. His eyes widened.

"What?" Farah said.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I don't think we'll have to worry about agency finances for a while," Dirk said, eyes wide. He passed Farah the check from inside the card.

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh-kay!” she said. “Well. We should definitely send a thank you note.”

“She wrote a note, too,” Dirk said. He read aloud, “‘Dear Dirk and Company, I never did like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. However, the three of you I found quite tolerable. To think I would’ve lived with and loved an imposter my whole life if not for your agency. Much thanks. Sincerely, Cordelia Oliver.’”

“I guess she’s got a heart under her mean exterior after all,” Todd said.

“‘P.S.,’” Dirk read. “‘I am assuming you will be quiet about the disappearance of my ‘son’ Max. I hope this check more than manages that.’”

“Oh,” Todd said, and Farah laughed.

“Well!” Dirk said, setting down the card. He smiled at his two friends. “I think that’s another case solved with arguable efficiency.”

“What’s the other envelope?” asked Todd.

“I don’t know…” Dirk looked at it. “She wrote something on the front... ‘I couldn’t be bothered to open this after what happened. but I thought one of you care want to know more than I. Sincerely, Cordelia.’”

“Oh!” Farah said. “It’s the envelope from the game--the one that has the killer in it.”

“I didn’t even realize we never revealed the fake killer,” Todd said.

“I did,” said Farah. “Open it?”

Dirk nodded, pushing a pencil thru the top, ungracefully breaking the seal. He popped the envelope open and looked inside before pulling out a tiny slip of paper.

“Oh God,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Of bloody course it had to be.”

Farah raised her eyebrows and he passed her the paper. She looked at it and frowned. “Crazy coincidence, that’s all.”

“Let me see that,” Todd grabbed the paper.

“Farah, nothing ever ends up being mere ‘coincidence’ with me,” Dirk said pointedly. “Ever.”

“Alright, that’s weird,” Todd said, tossing the paper back onto the desk in front of Dirk. The three of them started at the paper for a moment, saying nothing.

“I say we break early for lunch,” Farah broke the silence. “My treat.”

“Avoidance,” Todd said. “I like it.”

“Burgers?” Dirk chimed in. “I love it.”

The three of them stood up and cleared out of the office, turning off the lights and locking the doors to the office. In the now quiet office lay the small slip of tangerine paper on a desk. It read, in plain cursive, Madame Orange is the killer.

End

#dirk gently's holistic detective agency #case fic #dghda #dghda halloween mini bang 2020 #fanfiction #dirk gently fanfiction #my art

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actualbird · 5 years

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I CONCUR THAT THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MANY DRAGONS. If you ever want to share your dragon lore, pleaaassse do. (Also, now I'm imagining. like. a dghda!dragon au where Todd is the dragon and Dirk's a holistic hero: he wanders the land getting dragged into epic quests against his will, usually causing havoc and being shot with arrows in the process, and is delighted when his adventures throw him together with a dragon best friend.)

GODDDDD thank you so much for this ask because i have Always wanted to share my dragon lore, i just didnt think anybody would wanna see it but one (1) message like this is enough to enable me

okay so this au is a fantasy au where there are dragons. naturally occurring dragons, much like any other creature, but they were a magical creature. normal animals are normal, but magical creatures are like animals that magic Chose To Be Special. most dragons are regular dragons. they were creatures made with obsession in mind, the same way unicorns were made with purity. Tricksters were made with mischief. dragons had an object of their affection and they hoarded that object, or a symbol of it.

but some dragons were given a specific purpose. because it seems that reality was breaking, and these dragons had to fix it. regular dragons kinda did this (there was too much wealth being accrued by one person, so they stole it), but these dragons were….specialized. they each have Special Powers. they may or may not hoard. and all of them can turn human. they were born human actually, but chosen by the universe and its magic to be a Dragon

like, in this world, magic exists and is maybe kinda sentient. magic is inherently ambivalent, but because of human greed and other bad shit, that magic started turning sour and infecting the world. the Special Chosen Dragons were supposed to help fix it. because magic is semi-sentient, whats currently happening is hurting it. The Universe and Magic are connected. Llke the Universe is the character, and Magic is one of its languages or one of its limbs. sometimes, if magic got used for evil so much, the magic would become corrupted in itself.

these Special Chosen dragons were called the Blackwing Dragons. they popped up roughly 50 years before the current story takes place. Everybody knows about the Blackwing Dragons (who were called as such thanks to the wizard who discovered their existence. they saw it in a magical Black Book and thought, huh, dragons….wings…..b….blackwing) and theyre a pretty popular and well known legend.

many dark magic users didnt like the idea of dragons taking away their powers, so hunters were employed to capture the dragons, learn how they work, and use the dragon’s powers for their own good. Queen Wilson is one sorceress who employs Riggins and Priest as dragon bountyhunters. Wilson is able to catch an insane amount of dragons and magically experiment on them for a few years before something at the castle goes wrong and all the dragons escape. but thanks to this experience, all the Blackwing Dragons had gone into hiding.

anyway, a normal citizen of the world would know that general legend. The Blackwing Dragons were sent to help, but humans hurt them, they went into hiding, and now nobody knows where they are or what theyre doing.

THATS THE LORE……the actual story i had is like. todd is very very normal blacksmith who makes boring shit like horseshoes and then one day dirk breaks into his house through his window and says that todd is now apart of his quest to save the universe and that he needs a very special sword made!! no, todd, you have to be the one to make it specifically!! i dont care if youve never made a sword before, it has to be you!! also i live here now!!! :D :D :D

so theres much shenanigans involving todd dealing with weirdo dirk gently who introduces himself as a wandering detective of sorts. dirk is friends with farah, who is a knight that is very cool and very competent and very paranoid and very protective of dirk. dirk and farah are weirdly cagey about Things for some reasons and todd is quite suspicious of them until he realizes WHY theyre weird, and it’s because theyre hiding the fact that dirk is a Blackwing Dragon.

which todd finds out eventually when theyre like, attacked by bandits and dirk magically shifts into a RATHER LARGE-ISH DRAGON to fight off the attackers. here is an excerpt of that exact moment

“Holy shit, you’re one of them. You’re a dragon. You’re a Blackwing Dragon.”

“Am not!” Dirk says, wings flattening against his body. Wings. “I’m just a…holistic…were-reptile—of the magical semi-human persuasion?”

Todd figures that Dirk would really make a more compelling point if he sounded surer of himself and also if Todd just minutes ago didn’t witness Dirk turn into the huge dragon that was currently towering over him, wings, scales, and horrifyingly sharp teeth displayed in full glory. Full dragon glory. Because Dirk is a dragon. Dirk is one of the dragons in the legend Todd has heard all his life.

Well, fuck.

i got quite far into plotting this, but it’s still quite messy. the sword todd is supposed to make is very important for very convoluted magic reasons. lydia is in fic too as a mage practicing soul swapping. amanda is a seer who suffers from very painful visions. riggins and priest and friedkin are all badguys trying to locate and imprison the blackwing dragons. bart kills people very well whether she is a dragon or a human. dirk, todd, and farah embark on a quest to literally save all the magic in the universe.

before i could work out all the details, i found the other fic where dirk is a dragon and dropped this concept like a hot potato :(((

okay so that was a doozy but god i am also INTENSELY ENRAPTURED by the concept of TODD BEING THE DRAGON!!!!!

i can VERY easily imagine todd being an incredibly grumpy dragon, holing himself up in a cave because he is a Monster, he must not be Seen By The People Because He Is Terrible And Dangerous And Hurts People. and then in comes waltzing dirk all smiles and he just pops his head into the cave like “Hiiiii~”

i am going to be thinking about dragon!todd for the rest of the night now. todd who is a dragon because of, god i dunno, curse reasons? magic outwardly manifesting his self loathing reasons? my point is that todd thinks he is the worst, and dirk thinks he is the coolest. dirk would spend a lot of time trying to prove to todd he is, in fact, a good person/dragon while todd just stomps his dragon feet and huffs with just the slightest touch of fire in his breath and grumbles but also secretly hopes that dirk sticks around.

i just….really REALLY LOVE DRAGONS!!

#I WILL NOW SIT HERE AND THINK ABOUT DRAGON!TODD HMPH!!!!#flailfail #asks #dghda #hc

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juniper-and-lamplight · 5 years

Text

Recent Reads -- May 12, 2019

It turns out that I start to feel itchy if I don’t do a round-up of my various one-off recs every few months or so? Though there are some new recs on this list too (helloooo, Lix Storm). As usual, it’s a multifandom mix--DGHDA, Harry Potter, The Hour, and just a bit of Sherlock and The History Boys. Recs under the cut, so you don’t have to scroll unless you want to :) Enjoy!

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency I'm So Queer I Can't Even Think Straight (But To Be Fair, You're Not Helping) - @dont-offend-the-bees - 2.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "'His mind was buzzing, his heart pounding, his lips tingling, even now five, ten, however many minutes later. But if nothing else, he’d got past the phase of the whole holy shit Dirk just kissed me thing going round and round in his head, stuck in there like a bad song. But holy shit Dirk just kissed him.' In which Todd shows his hand, and Dirk takes a leap." So funny and charming that I’m almost mad about it? The Comic happened, we all lost our minds, and Bees was there with fic on the SAME DAY.

A Thousand Butterflies Can't Be Wrong, (But I Think I Might Be.) - electricteatime | @kieren-fucking-walker - 6.2k, G, Dirk/Todd "It’s a lot, he knows it’s a lot, and he almost wishes he’d stopped to think about his answer before just blurting his feelings all over the place. But then he supposes he’s always been a little like that, and it hardly makes sense to change that now. If Todd feels the same he already knows what he’s signing up for. If. For two small letters, it really is a big word." OF COURSE post-s2 Dirk thinks that Todd and Farah will be together and leave him, because historically, that's how things go for him...bless his heart and his inability to cope with Todd's eyebrows.

Leave What's Heavy Behind - electricteatime - 5k, G, Dirk/Todd "A semi-poetic semi-character study of one Todd Brotzman, the lies he tells himself, and the truths Dirk Gently knows." So beautifully, painfully REAL?!? I may never stop having feelings about this fic.

song for the heartsick (better days are near) - embraidery - WIP, T, Bart & Suzie Boreton "Suzie Boreton, rescued from death at the hands of the Mage's goons by the dirtiest woman she's ever seen in her life, faces a question: would she like to go on a road trip with her savior? No, Suzie thinks, but when she opens her mouth, Yes comes out. And so begins the weirdest road trip ever." This is such a fascinating premise, I can't wait to see where it goes.

To sleep, perchance to dream - @flightinflame - 2.4k, G, Mona & friends "Mona is sick, and loses control of her abilities. She tries to hide it, but it becomes too much to ignore." This is? So soft?! And also quirky, and playful, and just plain heartwarming.

the intricacies of triangulation - reptilianraven | @actualbird - WIP, T, Farah/Dirk/Todd "'Todd. Us. Us and Todd. We need a plan for this,' Farah says. Or the one where Dirk and Farah get together (they’re surprised about it as well) and try their best to get Todd to date the both of them in the most roundabout ways possible." In just one chapter this fic had me HOWLING with laughter.

or make a home - reptilianraven - 6.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)" With a combination of absurd humor and honest emotion, this fic absolutely nails the joys (and annoyances) of loving/supporting/living with another person.

put that baby back where it came from, or so help me - reptilianraven - 7.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "A case drops a telekinetic baby into the agency’s care and Dirk feels...overwhelmed whenever he sees Todd competently, wonderfully, lovingly taking care of a child." Tropey and ridiculous, but in the BEST WAY. My favorite line in this fic is ALL of them.

Though Your Breath Racks Your Ribs and You Throb with Pain; There's a Juice on My Lips for Each Purple Stain - @sexycoinkidicks - 7.4k, E, Dirk/Todd "In which Dirk shows Todd where it hurts. Angsty emotional smut, based loosely on a scene from the play Kiss of the Spider Woman (VERY loosely- no prior knowledge needed!)" Claustrophobic sadness and Extreme Emotional Intensity, with a slight edge of hope.

An Interlude; or, Compulsory Heterosexuality Made Me Do It - @teacupsandcyanide & @gallantrejoinder, - 1.6k, G, Farah & Todd "Farah and Todd did, in fact, make out while on the run. They also both realised some very important things about themselves. But not the things you might expect." Todd and Farah are glorious disasters, and I love them <3 This fic made me giggle from start to finish.

The Situation - teacupsandcyanide - 8.5k, M, Dirk/Todd "Todd raises his eyebrows at him. 'You gotta admit. We would get into this … situation.' 'What, the situation where we flee from the weekly hired goons into a badly aging knock-off of the Ritz, get shut in an empty room with no escape, and find ourselves compelled to make loud, gratuitous sex noises in order to put the aforementioned lackeys off the scent?'" In which Dirk and Todd have wildly different interpretations of Dirk's "coming out," and the only thing preventing them from getting together was their inability to have an honest damn conversation. Sensual and full of Big Emotions, as is only fitting for these two.

The Butterfly Effect (Love Is Love Is Love Is Love) - teacupsandcyanide - 7.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "Dirk kisses his best friend on their balcony in front of the Pride Parade. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Things escalate wildly into identity issues, old hang-ups, anguished declarations of love, and inopportune sabotage of the situation by their tiny bastard cat." This fic left me an incoherent, keysmashing mess. I might have actually clutched at my own heart after reading it.

Harry Potter Midday, Midnight - @aryastark-valarmorghulis - 8.5k, T, Remus/Sirius "During the summer of 1976, between fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts (and after The Prank), Remus goes outside the Lupin's cottage and he finds a big, black dog in his garden..." The character voice in this fic is so authentically teenager-y; Remus is so deep in his own head. I also enjoyed all of the sensory details, which create such a vivid image of the Lupin home, and the feel of a summer's day (and night).

Aural Gratification - birdsofshore - 10.9k, E, Harry/Draco "Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot." I know I’m waaaaay late to the party on this one (as I often am with Drarry fics), but worth it. As a person who listens to audiobooks for both fun and profit, I could not resist it :)

Letting Go - LuminousGloom - 6.1k, E, Remus/Sirius, Remus/Kingsley, Remus/OMC "A number of lusty, intimate encounters. Although for Remus, it's really only ever been about one person. And it's never quite right, until it's right." I love that each of Remus’ encounters is not only distinct and sexy, but also that each highlights different facets of him: forthright, secretive, curious, ashamed, conflicted, joyful, soft, rough, broken, and (eventually) unbroken.

like tea and knitwear - @songofwizardry - 2.4k, G, Remus/Sirius "There are probably easier and faster ways of showing one's affection than learning how to knit so one can make the object of said affections a jumper. Fortunately, Sirius has never been fond of picking the easy route." As soft and warm as a hand-knit jumper, but with just enough snarky humor that it still feels Marauders-y.

Sky Full of Song - @writcraft, read by semperfiona - 2k, 13min, T, Harry/Draco "Draco turns up at Harry's birthday party unexpectedly and Harry takes a leap of faith." A wonderful blend of angst and humor and realistically messy emotions.

The History Boys Don't you know you're life itself? - Philipa_Moss - 5.5k, M, Scripps/Posner “Dakin thinks you’ll get bored of me,” Posner says, out of the blue, and Scripps says, automatic and habitual, “He doesn’t.” This fic feels so perfectly lived-in--all of the relationships (partnerships, friendships, whatever) are well-worn, complex, and shaped by choices in a way that rings true to life, and to the characters.

The Hour (Guess who watched all of The Hour this winter and was left wishing that there was another series entirely about Lix Storm?)

The Small Hours - deathorthetoypiano - 1k, T, Lix/Bel "Lix stayed at Freddie's funeral, despite her instincts - and old habits - telling her to leave. She stayed for Bel, because she might need rescuing or a shoulder to cry on, someone to make sure she was alright, or at least as alright as she could be, given the situation." A quiet, bittersweet coda.

My thought is not changeable - @lbmisscharlie - 1.5k, E, Lix/Bel "Freddie will return – sometime – he must – and Bel is never aimless when Freddie’s around, not like she is now, eyes intent on Lix’s mouth and one stockinged foot rubbing uncertainly against her calf and their smallest fingers just touching where their palms are braced on the floor." Sharp poignancy and tons of sensory--a perfect stolen moment.

Light gathered in you - lbmisscharlie - 1.4k, E, Lix/Bel "Bel looks at her, sidelong. Her lashes are long, mascaraed dark, and her mouth coral pink. “I did wonder,” she says. “If you were – a Sapphist.” She says the archaic word so delicately that Lix has to laugh, which makes Bel pink up and drop her gaze. “I’m – not fussy,” Lix says. She shifts her weight just so, her forearm brushing Bel’s elbow. Bel doesn’t look up, but takes a breath, lifts her glass to her mouth, and swallows her wine down." Everything about this--tone, dialogue, dynamics--feels spot-on.

The Most Marvellous Place to Get Lost - peninsulam - 8.5k, E, Lix/Bel "It is late spring in Tangier, and Bel feels as far from home as she has been in her life." Gorgeous, poignant, evocative. You know, just generally breathtaking.

Immoral Support - @thisbluespirit - 420 words, T, Lix/Bel "Bel winds up where she always does after a bad day; in the safest place she knows..." This is lovely, and manages to nail their dynamic in fewer than 500 words.

I'd like to explore you - rainbowsuomi - 604 words, unrated, Lix & Bel "Lix’s mind is already somewhere else when Bel tells her to think about it and exits the office, picturing herself in front of the camera, describing bars where girls had their hair cropped and styled with grease, smoking cigars and slipping their hands, elegant, long and white, under flowing, frilly skirts, caressing stockings and corrupting young ladies." A beautifully characterized slice of life (and Lix’s history).

Sherlock Roads, Not Shrouds - verdant_fire | @viridiandecisions - 3.4k, T, John/Sherlock "He's perfectly happy to live out the rest of his life in monastic devotion, feeding John and loving John and provoking John just enough to distract him from what Sherlock did to their kitchen table." Lovely and lyrical and heartfelt (without getting treacly).

Further fic recs | Fic bookmarks

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polskiebagno · 6 years

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could you recommend some good books, or tv shows, or games? anything really, i'm curious about your taste

of course!!!

when it comes to books i always recommend the emma graham mysteries series (hotel paradise, cold flat junction, belle ruin and fadeaway girl) by martha grimes. the main hero emma is a twelve years old girl living in a small town trying to solve the mystery of another little girl’s death from years ago, which sounds pretty grim but it actually focuses more on emma’s life, the people around her, her family’s history etc and the way she describes it all is so captivating. i’ve read these books so many times and it always feels like coming back to that little town and seeing that nothing changed while i was away and it brings me comfort somehow.and my other favourite book which is first in a series but unfortunately the only one i’ve read is avatars book one: so this is how it ends by tui t. sutherland which is a ya book about a group of teenagers facing the end of the world. it’s sort of a modern take on old religions and mythologies which i adore.

i prefer movies over tv shows nowadays but i have a few faves and it’s dirk gently’s holistic detective agency which.. i don’t even know how to describe it. it’s wild and colorful and the characters are so amazing! it’s about this guy todd whose life falls apart in one day and then a weird stranger shows up and drags him into a crazy investigation. i’ve seen the first season like four times, it’s fantastic. another fave (obviously) is house m.d. which i don’t think needs a description? i grew up watching it and it definitely shaped me as a person in some ways aka made me depressed but it’s just. such a good show. i will never get over it tbh.i also love a series of unfortunate events, both the books and the tv show. it’s so different from everything else i’ve ever seen which i’m a huge sucker for cause i don’t like seeing the same stories over and over again.

and as for movies my absolutely favourite movie ever is marrowbone which is a horror movie about a family that moves back into their mother’s childhood house to escape the father and things happen. i really don’t wanna give too much away cause i don’t want to spoil the end. even if you’re not a fan of horror it’s worth a watch because it is so much more. it’s beautiful and heartbeaking and the ending will leave you feeling like a different person than you were when you started it. the second place goes to southbound which again technically it’s a horror movie but not a typical one. i would describe it more as scary fantasy i think. it’s an anthology film composed of five differents stories that are all connected in one way or another and it takes place in the south of usa and the main idea is that it’s sort of purgatory land which you can’t leave once you enter it. fair warning tho i showed it to a bunch of friends and my sister and only one of them liked it, everyone else said it was weird and sort about nothing as it doesn’t have one solid plot for the viewer to follow. but that’s why i love it!a few other movies i could watch over and over again are the ring, the autopsy of jane doe, mama and howl’s moving castle - the only one on this list that isn’t a horror film dskjfhsdk

#whaleinwhite #my taste can be described as the weirder the better

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just-here-for-tozier · 6 years

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it's long but worth the read

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency is a story about a normal orphan: Okay so at first this may seem like a bit of a stretch but I stayed up all night last night just thinking about it and holy shit does it make a lot of sense. So let's start with the obvious one: Blackwing represents the orphanage. After his parents die (more on that later) Svlad gets sent off to an orphanage and he hates it there. So do the other kids. He feels like the people that are supposed to be taking care of them don't understand them. They make them do things they don't really want to/can do and punish them when they don't do it. In real life it probably means they send him to bed without dinner or even slap him and this translates to the electrocuting in Blackwing. It's said in the show that it's been fifteen years since Blackwing closed but I think that, in real life, it'd been fifteen years since Svlad entered the orphanage. The Spring family: I think that the Spring family represents his actual family. He, his mom, his dad, and, wait for it, their dog. Svlad's mother got ill/had an accident and was rushed to the hospital where she later died (more on that later) and his father, unable to deal with the loss, killed himself. The family dog, in the show represented by Lydia, was shipped off to some other family while Svlad goes to the orphanage. The soul-swapping thing represents how Svlad's best friend was the family dog, and she seemed almost human to him. The time travel aspect is him finally coming to terms with what happened. It's all a loop. It was always going to end that way and there's nothing he could've done (especially considering that he couldn't have been older than two) Farah and Todd: Farah and Todd represent his new family who, after fifteen years, adopt him. Farah is how a boy that ever really had a mother would see his mom. As a hero. A fighter. The one that gets shit done. Farah/his new mother is the protector. Todd on the other hand is the father. At first he doesn't really get along with Dirk/Svlad but eventually he comes around and learns to love him. Todd/his new father helps him with homework and things like that which is why he is the assistant. The Rowdy 3: The Rowdy 3 represent two things that are an interesting combination that still fits them very well. They represent both Svlad's constant longing for a family that loves him unconditionally (the way the Rowdy 3 love each other) and what he could've been. The Rowdy 3 are also orphanage kids (at least Vogle is, the Rowdy 3 are the only family he's ever had) but they went down the stereotypical path of anarchy and destruction. It's what Svlad could've/can become and it scares him. He constantly feels the pull towards them (represented by the feeding thing) but doesn't want to go with them. Amanda: Amanda is one of the first friends he makes outside of the orphanage. She's nice, a little weird, and seems like a decent kid at first. I think pararibulitis is just a disease and doesn't hold that much power. When he's just met her, she gets along great with her parents (also represented by Farah and Todd) but when the truth comes out that they lied to her, she runs away and goes into a life of crime (once again represented by the Rowdy 3). After that, Svlad doesn't feel the pull as badly anymore. The Men of the Machine: So I said I'd come back on how Svlad's mother died and this is it. She either got in a car crash or became extremely ill and was put on life support. Rainey was the name of the doctor that used to be in charge of what happened to her but when Rainey kept annoying Svlad's father, he requested a new doctor. Enter Gordon Rimmer. A simple doctor who thought he was amazing (aka the whole Lux DuJour thing) who eventually decided that Svlad's mother was beyond saving and a decision had to be made. They ended up turning off her life support (aka the Machine) which finished her. The bald Men of the Machine represent the nurses at the hospital. The Kitten Shark: The orphanage had quite the mouse problem so they got a bunch of cats. Ever since he was little, Svlad has seen these cats ripping mice in half and brutally killing them (like the Kitten does) Blacwing's constant attempts to get the subjects back is the idea that they all carry in them to rebel against their new families and just go back to what they know. And then he does end up going back and season two starts. Personally, I think season two is all a dream or a delusion. Obviously season one was an upscaling of his adventures with his new family. When they can no longer have him (because his new dad/Todd gets extremely sick and they don't have the money to take care of their son and pay the hospital bills) he gets sent back to Blackwing and that's when he cracks. Obviously we start S2 with more Blackwing, once again representing his time there, but then he escapes into a car. And what's so interesting about that is that, for an orphan, cars are absolute freedom. When his new parents picked him up at the start of last season they probably did so in a car. That's when it truly starts. They get found by Hobbs and Tina, two cops that don't seem too strict. I think they are two workers at the orphanage who really don't mind when the kids break a rule or two. Suzy Boreton and the Mage are both workers that are horrible towards the kids. Friedkin is first used to represent the head of the orphanage until a new one takes over, Ken, who's way less chill towards the kids. Priest doesn't actually exist. He is made up by the kids as a code word for what happened to someone. He is death. So instead of saying that their family is dead, they say they were taken by mister Priest. Therefore he is their reason for being stuck in Blackwing. The few Blackwing subject who weren't brought in by Priest have parents who are in prison or abandoned them but aren't dead. Panto and Silas actually represent Svlad's homosexuality which the people that run the orphanage are strongly against (which becomes the feud between the families). And all of this is just his illusions while in the orphanage until he finally fully breaks. And that is when they go to Wendimoor. He created Wendimoor in his head, with all the characters that come with it that I haven't mentioned yet. Beast is a little kid who gets really attached to Svlad, Wygar is a security guard at the orphanage, Wakti is a teacher at the orphanage. Once they're in Wendimoor, every single main character represents him. Amanda is his want for knowledge, which he gets from Wakti. Todd is his need for adventure and closure. And Dirk is how he is in the real world. Secluded. Alone. Down. Okay let's backtrack slightly. The house within the house is what he sees while he's in the orphanage versus what it actually looks like. Since he's trapped in his own head, he sees bright colors but a very sinister threat. But the actual orphanage is run down. Dirty. Very obviously ominous. Amanda and Todd's powers are even more representation of how Svlad handles ill people. Amanda was already ill when he met her, which is why she is the first to learn magic. Todd, however, only became ill later on, which is why he learns it later. Once again the Cardenas family is his own family. The mother who dies in a car. The father who dies because of the mother only this time in a different way. Last time he killed himself because Svlad's mother died. This time, Svlad's brain begins to see it more like it's all his mother's fault. Leading me to think that maybe she was drunk driving and that's why she crashed. Arnold represents a trusted person that gave Svlad away to the orphanage. And Svlad Cjelli himself is the boy. He created Wendimoor. Dirk Gently is The Boy. Project Moloch being in a coma is once again representing how Svlad is to the real world. Distant. The season obviously ends with the boy ruling over Wendimoor again but all our main characters going home. I think it concludes Svlad's struggle to get out of his own head. He successfully escapes but Wendimoor is still there in his head. The Rowdy 3 and Amanda taking in Beastie tells me that the little kid that grew fond of Svlad also went into crime. Amanda, Todd, Mona, and Dirk finally starting up the agency is Svlad entering the real world for the first time as an adult. The agency is the job he got when he was too old for the orphanage. Assistent is the psychologist that helps Svlad escape his own mind. Hence him helping Dirk escape Blackwing. Panto and Silas finally being together is his acceptance of his homosexuality Tina and Hobbs are two kind workers (like I said) and they stopped the Mage/wildly less kind worker by starting a law suit against him. It cost them a lot of money and time (the injuries and hospital) but eventually they did it. All of the projects that we know of represent a part of Svlad: Dirk Gently represents him for the most part. His wanting to learn, his homosexuality, him as a person and his place in the world. Bart is how he wants to just let go and follow life where it takes him. Do what feels right. But deep down he knows that could lead to a lot of destruction. The Rowdy 3 are his call to crime and need for a family Mona is his adaptability and how he wants to fit it and will change himself to do so Moloch is how he is in real life during S2 All the projects apart from Bart being free at the end of S2 represents how he finally put away his destructive behavior to live a normal life as an adult in the real world. With the people he loves (friends he made on the job, represented by Todd and Farah) by his side. So Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency is the entire history of a young orphan boy who, in the end, gets his happy ending.

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lavellington · 7 years

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My Top 10 DGHDA fics

Since this lil fandom is expanding with the advent of season 2 (and since we are all still REELING from yesterday’s phenomenal episode oh my GOD), I thought I’d rave a bit about my favourite fics. I know if you’ve been in the fandom any length of time then you’ve already read all of these, but rec lists never hurt, especially with new faces popping up!

Please note, this is a list of my personal favourites, and therefore is very biased in favour of Brotzly, and very biased in a multitude of other ways. There are lots of other great fics on ao3 as well, I’m just very otp-focused.

(Also, I decided I wasn’t going to have anyone on here twice, but I have both inky and neko on here twice because they have written such a high number of iconic fics)

1. Universal Truths by inkyfishes ( @inkyfishes )

Author Summary:

“...Very long story short, until yesterday, it hailed as my greatest case: one of deception, danger, double-crosses, and an all-round perversion of high emotion and - dare I say it - romance…”

What do horses, robots, time-travel, false identities, alternate universes, flagrant homosexuality and the University of Cambridge have in common? Probably not much, but it's all Todd Brotzman has to work with after he falls through a hole in space and time, arriving at St. Cedd’s College for the first day of Svlad Cjelli (not yet notoriously known as Dirk Gently). There's a case to be solved, but it refuses to start. For both Todd and Svlad, and Dirk and Farah, events unfold in exactly the way you'd expect at Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

(This work is canon-compliant as per the end of Season 1. It refers to canon set out in the two Dirk Gently novels, the Dirk Gently 2010 TV Series, the Dirk Gently Comics "The Salmon of Doubt" and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, but none of that is needed to understand the work.)

My gushing:

It’s a close call, since there is a lot of great stuff in this fandom, but this is my personal favourite Dirk Gently fic. The ambition and scope of this story absolutely blows my mind. It unites pretty much every form of Dirk Gently, from the original novels up to the most recent BBCA version which forms the main focus of the story, and its take on the characters is both original and convincing. Beautifully written, funny, sad, and with romantic tension that will knock your socks off. This is an epic journey.

2. The Dolphin Paradox by nekosmuse ( @nekosmuse )

Author Summary:

Having lost his job at the Perriman Grand, Todd takes a job selling vintage vinyl to unappreciative hipsters while trying to put his life back together. Dirk Gently is a somewhat regular customer. That is, until Dirk can fix the timeline and get Todd his memories back.

The Record Store AU that's not a Record Store AU.

My gushing:

I’m still so grateful to have been a part of the fandom while this was in progress. Waiting for the updates, which were phenomenal every time, and watching the story unfold, was such a blast. Even if you’re wary of AUs, I recommend you give this a try. The slightly different version of Todd is so interesting and the love story is so very sweet. Not to mention the plot is riveting and clever. Fandom classic, must read.

3. you can break a thing, but you cannot always afterward guide it into the shape you want by cosmicocean, princessparadox ( @cosmicoceanfic, @princessparadoxical )

Author Summary:

He does not think about home. The memories feel like they burn holes in his mind.

AU where every Blackwing subject is a changeling, except for one: an abducted fae, who will answer to no name but Icarus.

My gushing:

Dirk is a fae! This fic unites the sci-fi sensibilities of the first season with magic and mythology in a way that now feels kind of prophetic, given the events and tone of the second season. It’s gorgeously, gorgeously written, with an intense soulmate vibe that is counterbalanced wonderfully by top notch banter. All the characters shine so brightly in this, but powerful yet vulnerable Dirk is my favourite part. Frigging epic.

4. objects in mirror may be closer than they appear by sharlook

( @aceabed )

Author Summary:

You’re alone, with your arms wrapped tight around a pillow at god knows what time in the night, and there are tears running down your face because you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, not even in your dreams.

And then clutching your covers you get an idea.

(In which Dirk has nightmares about Blackwing, goes to Todd for help, and is really, really, really in love.)

My gushing:

This fic absolutely blindsided me, with the kind of writing that seems quiet and delicately wrought, but is simultaneously incredibly powerful and poignant. A wonderful portrayal of Dirk dealing with his traumas and anxieties, while being very in love with Todd. May make you cry. I have so much love for this story, and so much admiration for the prose. Achingly beautiful.

5. split the secret up by piggy09

Author Summary:

He asks if Dirk can hear it and Dirk just laughs, the sound reassuringly human.

Well, not reassuringly. Reassuringly would mean Todd had to be reassured.

It’s just – it sounds human. Which is good. Because Dirk is human. Definitely.

My gushing:

Fic in which the Blackwing subjects are not quite human. Featuring eldritch!Dirk. This story is beautifully, meticulously written, and very evocative and unsettling. Yet Dirk is still somehow the sweetest eldritch abomination I’ve ever heard of.

6. Blood Is Thicker Than Water (But You Know What's Even Thicker? Cookie Dough. Tastes Better, Too.) by DontOffendTheBees ( @dont-offend-the-bees )

Author Summary:

'“Dirk… you know how to make cookies, right?”

The detective glanced between Todd and the ingredients, brow furrowing. “Actually, I was rather hoping you did…”

Todd sighed. He was gonna need another beer. “Let’s Google it.”'

In which Dirk and Todd ill-advisedly try to bake cheer-up cookies for Farah at 3am, and maybe confront some feelings in the process. Fluffy, very lightly angsty anonymous prompt fill, rated teen for a spot of language and mild drunkenness.

My gushing:

I found it very difficult to pick one of Helen’s fics, but in the end I went with this, the first instalment of the baking series, because it is a gift (although I also highly recommend her big bang fic). The dialogue is insanely adorable, it’s perfectly in character, and it exactly satisfies my craving for sweet, domestic fluff. Rendered all the more plausible by the beautiful friendship we’ve seen between Todd, Dirk, and Farah in season 2. :’)

7. Piranha in the Stream of Creation by sarkywoman ( @sarkywoman )

Author Summary:

"We got tuned into each other's radio stations. Let's say that. I got to walk through life ending others and she got the patterns. But it's not all right. Sometimes we're muddled. I'm never sure if I'm doing the right thing. "

Role-Swap AU. Dirk is the holistic assassin, Bart the detective.

My gushing:

The summary above says it all, really. This is such an interesting premise, and I was so happy to see it so well-executed in this fic. Dirk and Bart are very different, and yet still somehow very in-character. A fascinating read from start to finish, and flips your initial ideas on their head in much the same way as the show. I love my holistic children in this story.

8. The Furthest City Light by nekosmuse ( @nekosmuse )

Author Summary:

Dirk Gently (as he's taken to calling himself) has spent most of his life in Blackwing custody. In that time absolutely nothing of any interest has happened. Instead, a good deal of not-very-good or possibly even very-bad things have happened. These mostly involved a number of people in white coats poking and prodding him while making him guess at numbers. Outside of these unwanted visitors, the vast majority of Dirk's time is spent alone. And then one day a technician leads Dirk into a room where a boy around his age sits behind a table, looking sullen and perhaps a little nervous. Dirk likes him immediately.

Alternate Meeting AU, in which 21 year old Dirk meets 20 year old Todd while still in Blackwing custody.

My gushing:

This story will pluck at your heartstrings, while simultaneously making you want to beat up Riggins even more than you probably already did. Young Dirk and Todd are so convincingly written here - just a tad more vulnerable, more raw than in the show, but still good for each other in so many ways. Dirk in particular will make you cry. Stunningly written as you would expect from neko.

9. A Pattern of Errors by coloursflyaway ( @coloursflyaway )

Author summary:

Dirk picks Todd up for a road trip he never planned to go on, with a red cabriolet and a bright smile and a thousand places to go. And although Todd doesn't know what he expected, he definitely gets more than he bargained for.

My gushing:

Beautiful multi-chapter road trip fic, featuring soft boys holding hands, emotional self-sabotage, and eventual declarations of love. Very calming, dreamy, and emotional.

10. Pray for the Thunder and the Rain by inkyfishes ( @inkyfishes)

Author Summary:

A Farah-centric slice of a possible future.

Everything has gone wrong. Everything is broken. Farah works through her anxiety whilst beginning their lives on the run. Her place in the universe is, as yet, undecided.

(Set immediately after the end of Season 1. Written before airing of Season 2.)

My gushing:

Farah Farah Farah!! A very convincing look at what might have happened post the clusterfuck ending of season 1. This fic is so beautiful and captures Farah’s voice WONDERFULLY, with some bonus Faranda just to make it perfect.

#dghda fic #dghda fic recs #brotzly #mine #my recs #fic recs #dghda #dirk gently #faranda #au fic #road trip fic #slow burn fic #i know i know i haven't got boring boring sex on here #but i already have two inky fics and i wanted some faranda in here because i love my girls #<3 this fandom #long post #lemme know if any links are broken or incorrect or what have you #yes this is what I have been doing instead of writing rip me

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princessparadoxical · 7 years

Text

The livestream kept cutting out due to shoddy Australian internet (curse you, Malcolm Turnbull) but I honestly lost track of the number of times Dirk was tempting fate? Saying the universe doesn’t work a certain way only for the universe to actually come through when he least expected or wanted it?

I never thought one of my fondest wishes would be for Dirk to be able to finish a diner meal without something needlessly dramatic happening, and yet. Please. Let him drink a milkshake or eat some pancakes without getting metaphorically twatted in the face by the cosmos. He’s useless as a detective if he’s malnourished and sleep-deprived, lordy may.

“I stopped existing a while ago” is morbidly funny, but even then I just wanted to cry. Psychic vampire banter at its best and most heartbreaking. But at least there’s light down there, because I’d been having nightmare visions of them all spending two months in complete darkness and silence and it was doing a number on my personal sanity.

I know that we’d already established Susie’s villain status but christ, selling out her own son to the police and then trying to use him as an excuse to not kill someone is some pretty brutal whiplash. “But what if someone gets hurt” isn’t going to fool anyone, Susie. You’re attractive but also you killed a dog and also some people so eh, please leave town now.

Dirk trading away police evidence for the #aesthetic is the most hilarious thing ever, but also can we please have a minute silence for the loss of the collarbone shirt. Samuel Barnett looked fine as hell in it. I’m going to miss it deeply. The end of an era. Let the mourning begin. Get the twitter trend happening.

Collarbones.

I didn’t like Todd agreeing with Dirk when he called his powers “stupid flighty bullshit” but I’m willing to cut them both a bit of slack, it’s been a long and stressful week, there are dead bodies everywhere. But this is a version of Dirk Gently that I can imagine standing on the roof screaming “you utter bastard” while shaking his fist at the night sky (like in the novels). It’s a tragic development.

Why am I so charmed by Panto calling her “Bartine” though?

Farah’s phone has to be bugged. It’s the only thing that makes sense with this particular storyline.

I’m assuming that the water cleaned Amanda’s face because she’s suddenly 35% less eyeliner and it’s taking a while for me to come to terms with being able to see her face again. Her “I am the consciousness?” conversation sounded like it should’ve been taking place when they were both getting stoned after a first-year college philosophy class. She’s trying to roll with the punches but they just won’t fucking stop coming.

... but also the Moloch symbol was clearly visible and I’m now a deeply concerned bean. Does this mean that Bergsberg is in danger? Wendimoor? Blackwing? What has been woken?

... but also I’m here for Amanda being the new Forest Witch.

I fully understand why Panto is beginning to crack, even if I’m worried about what it means for the holistic detective squad. He’s in a world he doesn’t understand, with people who have locked him up, trying his best to save his world even when it’s full of people who want him dead. His only friend is a piranha in the stream of creation. This has been a rough week for him, all things considered. He and Bart need a million more doughnuts and another dance party.

Dirk’s impression of himself was simultaneously the best and the worst thing ever, and we already know that his current accent isn’t the one he was born with so I’m assuming that it took a long time to develop from 1940s Gay British Pantomime to what he has now. But oh hello cracks, you keep getting bigger and bigger and I keep getting more and more worried. Is he sleeping yet? Eating properly?

The boy confirming that “at first the dreams were a gift” makes me so much more suspicious of Mona. I still adore her but the actress confirmed that the character is easily manipulated and I’m wondering whether she’s acting of her own accord or if she’s serving a higher purpose.

Hobbs’ concerned face when they were loading the boy into the ambulance was pure enough to cure cancer and also world hunger. Why can’t I just like assholes? Why do I always fall for the nice ones?

Someone needs to do a video edit of the Rowdy 3 coming through the portal set to The Boys Are Back In Town.

The fact that the Mage was so out of his depth in the scene with the wall mural throws out a lot of my previous theories? He looked threatened and actually scared and I’m not sympathetic in the slightest because he’s the major villain of the season. But I hate it when villains are unsettled because it always makes them 100% less predictable and more dangerous. That’s the exact opposite of what I wanted.

“I wanna fuck everybody here” oh man, I have never related so much to a single line in my entire life, how are they all so dang attractive?

And that’s why it was important that Hobbs deputized Farah, because he’s going to be out of commission for a few episodes (living in denial is a blast and a half, I can highly recommend it) and Farah’s finally going to show the world what she’s made of. Which is sugar and spice and fucking guns.

Rule one of questing, you guys: DON’T SPLIT THE FUCKING PARTY. Have none of you played Dungeons & Dragons?

I adored the Todd/Farah interactions and I’ll fight anyone to defend them.

Dirk on the dance floor looked like a cat having static balloons rubbed all over it, he was that uncomfortable. But also that conversation on the dancefloor was like someone went onto AO3 and pulled out everything we ever wanted, it was so nice to see them all having a nice time even if it took actual fucking sorcery to get them there. Max confirmed that it was indeed a love spell and oh, you beautiful tropical fish, it’s almost enough to make up for that final scene.

You could tattoo “it’s a lot of moving pieces and I’m getting overwhelmed” to my face and I’d thank you at this stage. But I’m fully here for Farah trying to explain away the boy’s violence with “he’s had a traumatic time” and Dirk rolling his eyes so hard they could be seen from space. Dirk’s had a lifetime of experimentation and trauma and christ, his coping mechanisms aren’t the best but you don’t see him trying to strangle anyone. Give the sunshine bean some more credit, guys.

The only thing giving me comfort right now is the thought of Friedkin’s face when he discovers that yet more subjects have disappeared into thin air.

Get wrecked, Friedkin. You weren’t even in that episode and I’m pissed at you.

#dirk gently #dghda #my contributions #I'll have more thoughts later but holy shit

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blogging-phelddagrif · 7 years

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Let’s talk about Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency Season 2

I just finished watching the second season of the show and I really enjoyed it. To be clear, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is my favourite book series and even though the movie was flawed I really enjoyed it. I have yet to read the Dirk Gently’s books, but I really like the show. I thought I’d take a few minutes to go over the season and talk about the characters. Obviously spoilers ahead so beware. If I miss anything let me know. Also, please chime in if you want!

The season as a whole was pretty solid I think; it managed to get even weirder than the first one surprisingly and was entertaining and thrilling for the most part. There was a few plot holes that seemed to be more of an error rather than intentional but it was very minor and every show has those. My only issue with this season is that around the 8th episode the mystery is solved, so the last 2 episodes are about them tying up the story and resolving the plot, but there are no big reveals or twist at that point. I mean, the last 2 episodes were good, but it was kind of disappointing to not have that whole “what the hell is going to happen” atmosphere for them. But yeah besides that I think the season was solid, even if I wish the dog would’ve been just a tad more present. As a side-note, I want to say I thought it was really funny that the show legit started with a gay kiss scene, it felt like a huge “fuck you” to all the homophobes that might’ve been watching the show. Now I want to go over each character and talk about them during the season.

Dirk: I think the character was solid this season. He kept his personality while still adding some character development over it. It was nice to see him come to term with the fact that people are getting hurt around him. The actor is great with that role by the way.

Todd: His story arc is pretty good and he’s becoming more of a complete character. I liked how his relationship with his sister is evolving and he wasn’t expecting things to magically get better when he found her, that he let her go her own way and that he just wanted her to know that he wants to become a better person and make up for what he did. I think it’s a nice evolution.

Amanda: She was probably the most interesting character of the season, her place in the story was solid and she’s now a really important part of the cast. I’m excited to see what will happen with her as it’s hinted that she has a big purpose and I want to see how her abilities evolve. She’s also shown some good character development via her brother.

Farah: I was really happy that she was so present in the season, her character is really cool and the actress is doing an incredible job. She has a really good chemistry with Todd and starting to have some too with Dirk, it’ll be nice to see them work together.

Ken: This was one of my disappointment of the season, I was really sad to see him becoming evil, like it didn’t seem like him. I understand that it’s not all black & white, and maybe he’s seen something on the files that will make all of this make sense, but it just feels wrong to have him turn bad like that...

Friedkin: I felt the character was a bit too much “dumb” at some point, but in general it was pretty good. I thought it was interesting to see him turn the character around by realizing “wait, I thought we were the good guys in this”. Also, I hope something comes out from him being stuck in the fabric of the universe rather than just being a funny quip.

Bart: I really wish she would’ve been more present in this season, she kind of just showed up as an ex-machina a couple of times and then stuck around doing nothing. She had some nice moments and it’s good that the character is evolving a bit, questioning her place in all of this. Hopefully she does more in the future.

the Rowdy 3: I really like what they did with the characters, they feel like a big family and not just people trashing stuff. I also like their relationship with Amanda and how they all act with each other. Honestly, solid job as a whole for those characters, even if I felt Vogel was a weak point in the early episodes.

Suzie: Oh god she was the representation of white middle class entitlement it was such a good villain. I like how she plays the victim and says everyone treats her like trash all while she was prom queen, slept with her friends boyfriends, got in a car crash while high with kids in her car. It felt like a good villain to hate.

Tina: I felt like this was the weakest character of the season. In some of the episodes she could’ve just not been there and have another character do what she does and it would’ve worked just fine. It feels like she was filling in Bart’s role as a “wild card” and it was kind of annoying at moments, also her character was a bit too much at times. Maybe it’s just me but I didn’t really feel it.

Hobbs: I really liked his character and the way he participated in the story. It was kind of unexpected to see him get explained all the crazy shit by Dirk and just go along with it like “well this might as well happen” and I feel that’s relatable. His character was really likeable too.

the Mage: I think they did a very solid job for this villain character. He was plain evil and played the part well. Him realizing that he was doomed to fail by the prophecy and just deciding “well I don’t want to die so I’m gonna leave and conquer this other world instead” felt, right? Self-preservation seems to be lacking in a lot of villains in media and it felt good to see it here.

Mr. Priest: I really like Alan Tudyk so I might be biased but I really liked the character. It shows that he’s seen a lot of weird stuff through his career and he adapts on the go with what happens, even if it’s ridiculously weird, he doesn’t even question it and goes with it. He was a likeable villain and a solid character in my opinion.

the Beast: Even if we haven’t seen much of her I liked the character. She wasn’t dismissed outright for being a savage and played somewhat of a role in the story while being treated fairly by other characters. I’m actually excited to see how she evolves with the Rowdy 3 gang, she fits perfectly with them.

Mona: So we’ve seen her in, like, 1 episode I think? But she was pretty cool and I hope we see more of her in the future. She’s a really interesting character that fits nicely with Douglas Adam’s style and it opens up a lot of possibilities with the story and plot. I liked the character!

the Boy: Very brief but pretty cool character. The implications of his powers are incredible and it tied the story nicely. My only issue is that we haven’t seen where the boat initially came from, not sure if that’s to be discovered later or if we’ll just never know, I’m just curious.

Wendimore’s Characters: There’s a lot of them so I just want to say that they did the whole “fantasy world” very well. It really did feel like a child’s imagination, which might have given up the twist a bit earlier than supposed but the whole world was neat and well designed. Most of the characters were solid, except maybe Farson who felt bland and...flat? Most of the characters from that world, even if we didn’t see a lot of them, were likeable (besides the 2 antagonistic leaders, but they were still well-rounded I think) so that was cool.

#dirk gently #dghda

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disco-computer · 7 years

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He looked like he had just eaten vanilla ice cream very messily...

Title: Happy Endings/Brotzman gets a blow-job Plot: Dirk wants to convince Todd to quit his mundane job and join him in the detective agency. He does a special favor that Todd has been dreaming about to convince him. Warning: Strong sexual content. Mature audience. Contains smut Dirk/Todd, obviously. :-)

Todd Brotzman was tired. Exhausted, over-worked and just plain stressed out. The dark circles under his eyes became more noticeable as he no longer felt human. He was a machine - programmed to finish typing everything by the set due date given and programmed to make everyone happy. It was draining him. He started this new job as an editor around 3 months ago after all the crazy shit happened - with Dirk, the corgi and what-not. He was happy that Amanda is taking care of herself now, though he still worried about her of course. It was close to the weekend and Todd should have enough money in his bank account to cover rent - with a couple extra hundred for spending. Not bad for a man in his thirties who sometimes felt like he desperately fucked up somewhere along his life course. There is hope. He reaches for the anti-anxiety meds under his desk and is reminded that he’s seeing Dirk tomorrow for some catching up. A feeling of happiness slithers up his spine followed by a mild tightness in the chest. He didn’t know if this was normal anxiety about not having seen Dirk for a while or pure excitement about it.

Dirk Gently was doing well for himself. He still had his own nice flat decorated by his favorite art pieces and the plan for his detective agency was falling into place nicely - he was just getting everything organized; contacts, business cards, a spacey desk especially for Todd and Farah’s very own walk-in closet. Something Dirk was slightly jealous about - he did want the closet for himself but being a detective means making some sacrifices to accommodate the crew. Today was Thursday - oh shit…he’s seeing Todd Brotzman tomorrow! A date they had to set into place about 2 weeks ago. Dirk thinks very highly of Todd, his sexy assistant with a bad boy attitude and gorgeous blue eyes. Dirk has a plan to convince Todd to completely quit his day job so he can commit to being his assistant full-time. Dirk would love to have that boy on call! He slips into a daydream about it and thinks of their last sexual encounter. Dirk had spent the night at Todd’s place, it had been a long night of detective’s work but was followed by a glorious morning of rubbing cocks together in the shower. They haven’t had sex yet, but Dirk keeps a little bottle of lube in the medicine cabinet, just in case. Suddenly a ping on his phone reminds him of the package that should be arriving today. He not only ordered business cards for himself but some for Todd & Farah as well. In all seriousness Dirk and Todd should be able to both make a decent salary at this, as well as Farah. They just had to commit. Clients pay well to good detective work and rewards for catching bad guys can be generous.

Friday morning. Todd finishes up some loose ends on his laptop. He stayed up late to make sure all of the articles sent in from his boss are finished so he can have today all for Dirk. It had been a little while since the two crashed together and the lack of Mexican Funeral groupies has Todd completely sex starved. Not that there were many groupies, but there was the occasional hot girl from time to time. Todd had no trouble getting sex, if he wanted it. He also thought about Dirk often. Dirk was a very different fantasy for him. Todd can be a little girl crazy but sometimes he thinks he’s fallen completely gay for Dirk. Especially because he couldn’t stop thinking about Dirk’s bum. Dirk always wore tight pants hugging his backside and whether it was intentional that he was showing off or not it was definitely having an affect on Todd. He wants to bend Dirk over on the detective’s desk, pull his pants down and stuff Dirk with his oversized cock, making him cry out. Dirk would love it and beg for Todd to fuck him harder until it hurts. They would probably break the desk from being so vigorous! Just what Dirk always wanted - to be fucked super hard by his hot assistant. At least, what Todd hoped he wanted. It’s something Todd wants to finish off sweetly though, holding Dirk at the end and letting him know they belong to each other. Finishing the dishes which had piled up for a week, Todd heads out the door remembering to bring his laptop with him incase his boss sent any unwanted e-mails. He also bought a little something for Dirk - a custom made Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency coffee mug which he had made at a local shop which custom designs things. The letters were bold bright red bold across the white cup. Todd was sure he would love it. He placed it in a brown paper bag and headed out the door.

At the arcade, Dirk is already tied up in a game of space invaders when Todd rolls up beside him. “Mind if I join in?”

“Todd!” gasped Dirk with excitement. He forgets the game and gives Todd a big hug, holding him tightly. Todd rubs Dirk’s back. The two naturally pull away, but are still holding hands.

“Todd, what have you been doing!? Are you okay!?”

“Yes, Dirk. Just working hard. That’s all.” and lands him a kiss on the cheek.

Dirk’s heart flutters with the excitement of seeing Todd, and it already feels like they are back to being boyfriends. Todd places 4 coins in the machine and the two of them play intense rounds of the space invaders game while catching up. Todd explains he is sorry for being distant and Dirk tells Todd how things are falling into place nicely for his detective business - How he has everything planned out - as long as there were still some remaining funds from the Patrick Spring case. After some time the noises of the video game end as Dirk beats Todd, 2 out of 3 rounds. “Ha.” stated Dirk, “I don’t usually beat you at this one.” Todd pouted but only a little bit. They then start walking towards the exit and get into Dirk’s flashy sports car for a ride back to his place.

Todd is astonished upon entering Dirk’s apartment. The fresh scent of the still new apartment, he sees the work desk accompanied by modern art decoration. “Dirk, this is awesome! Here, I bought you a little something. It’s not much but I thought with the new business, you might want something to promote it.” Dirk opens the brown paper bag and his eyes are widened by the customized gift. “Todd…It’s perfect!! Absolutely brilliant. I’ll use it for my morning tea!” Todd laughs and seeing Dirk’s joy from receiving the small gift from him warms Todd.

“Todd, I want you to listen to me. I hate what your lifestyle is doing to you, you’re always worried and constantly stressed out. I want you to live with me. Together you and I can run this detective agency and I know you will be happier.”

Todd smiles, even blushes slightly and takes Dirk’s hand. “I know. I want that too Dirk, but I have to do this for the best of us. I want to support your business so that’s why I’m working this shitty job. It’s hell right now but it will pay off.”

“You don’t have to,” Pushes Dirk. He grips Todd’s hand tighter and tells him firmly. “If we are together at this you don’t have to be miserable. I want you to quit that job and work together with me. We will be happier and might I remind you more time for an afternoon of cuddling on the job.

Dirk lifts up Todd, thought they have about the same strength Dirk can manage to carry his partner since he is slightly shorter. Dirk carries Todd into the bedroom and lays him down on the bed, which Todd loves. The passion gets heavy. They are kissing hard. Dirk glides his tongue over the front row of Todd’s teeth, feeling the texture of the slight gap in the middle. Todd is savoring the taste of Dirk’s lips with a growing erection pushing tight on his zipper. Not thinking they are going to last much longer, Todd pushes away.

“Dirk….I love you. I fucking love you.”

“Quit your job then, Todd. You know it’s the right thing for you to do.”

“Stop it Dirk, stop it! In an angry fit, Todd just starts kissing Dirk again and they almost return to making out when this time Dirk pulls away, both breathing heavily. “What can I do to convince you Todd, that this is what is right for us. Join me and it will make the two of us happy. We’ve put this off for too long!”

“Ok Then Dirk. I want us to be happy. I really want you to suck my dick.”

“What…?” Dirk’s eyes lit up but he was doubting what his own ears thought he heard.

“Dirk, I want you to suck my cock…” he gazes up at him, holding Dirk’s hand and waiting for a response.

Dirk lets out an uncontrollable grin and as he is stripped down to a tight white undershirt, showing off his tone and tight bum hugging boxer briefs. Todd is shirtless and unzips his jeans, pulls them down to expose his full boner. Dirk nearly feels his mouth watering like Todd’s cock was a prized gourmet meal. This time Dirk does not argue with Todd. He positions himself down on his knees while Todd gets seated at the edge of the bed. He wraps his lips tightly around Todd’s big cock and it is delicious to Dirk. Moving his head up and down to accommodate Todd’s length Dirk is also challenged with widening his jaw in a way that he can fit as much of it into his mouth as he possibly can. Todd is moaning with intense pleasure.

“Oh, oh, ah, AH!!” Todd lets out in-between heavy breathing as Dirk sucks him hard and savoring the length of his penis. Todd is watching with one fist pressed down to the bed clutching onto the sheets and he uses his other hand to push down on Dirk’s head. Dirk is loving every minute of giving Todd a blow job. The hardness of Todd’s cock inside his mouth felt amazing. “Ah…Ahh!” Todd continued with a smile, eyes closed as Dirk feels Todd come into him. His semen pours into Dirk’s mouth filling his taste buds with a sweet and bitter warmness. Dirk holds it onto his tongue for a few seconds, savoring the flavor before a full swallow to consume it. He didn’t realize how messy it was until he raised his head up to look at his partner. Todd giggles at the sight of cum dripping from Dirk’s mouth. He looked like he had just eaten vanilla ice cream very messily. Dirk just laughed and licked his lips to taste it again, wiping some of the excess off with the bedsheet. He tasted so fucking good. Todd can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face either.

The two crash on the bed and cuddle together naked and they can’t stop laughing and giggling about what just happened. “Thank you, Dirk. That was really great.” Todd stated, brushing his hand against Dirk’s cheek. They smiled at each other endlessly. “I think I will have to take you up on your offer Dirk, especially if there’s going to be more of this.” says Todd.

“I would definitely hope so.”, replies Dirk. Todd kisses him and the taste of his own seed on Dirk’s lips is a savory reminder that Dirk belongs to him. The two of them get dressed and head into the living room to continue cuddling and they watch a program on Animal Planet about caring for new puppies.

They watch tv for about a half hour to rest from their encounter. Then there’s a knock on the door. Dirk gets up to answer and its Farah. She greets both of them. “Todd! It’s been so long! I’m glad you’re here. ” She says with excitement. Farah always looked so fabulous. Today she was wearing her green jacket with slim black pants. Maroon blush applied to her high cheekbones which always paired so well with her face and eyes. “Here, I have something to show you guys, She takes her big red designer handbag and pulls out 3 pistols, black leather holsters included. “I figured we’d need some weapons since were going to be in this thing alone.” Todd looks astonished when Farah hands him his pistol. He loves it. “Thank You” he says. Dirk is shocked at first and he is usually skeptical about carrying such a weapon but the customized bright yellow handle won him over. Todd’s was bright blue and Farah carried the red one. While Todd enjoys the look and feel of his new pistol Farah and Dirk go into the kitchen discussing the remaining plans about the agency. Todd suddenly remembers something rash and puts away the gun, pulls his laptop out of his bag and opens the draft e-mail to his boss about his resignation. He didn’t even give a 2 weeks’ notice. After what just happened Todd was sure that he made up his mind.

When Todd finishes and sends the e-mail he enters the kitchen to tell Dirk and Farah about what he’d just done. Dirk nearly spilled his tea and squealed of excitement when Todd told him the news. “Oh Todd! This is incredible. Together we will be the power of 3!” Farah shot both of them a smirk when she sees that Dirk and Todd are holding both of their hands together and gazing into each other’s’ eyes. “Yeah…” started Todd, looking up at Farah. “Were totally boyfriends again!” finishes Dirk with a quirky smile and the two of them kiss, but only a peck in avoidance of putting on a show in front of Farah. “It’s not like I didn’t know!” She rolled her eyes laughing. Her cellphone rings and she suddenly has to go, for now. “Bye Farah!” They both said. ‘Thanks for the weapons!“ She heads out the door hurriedly and Todd turns to Dirk. He pulls out his phone and puts on a happy 70’s disco track "Upside Down” by Diana Ross and the two of them dance together in the kitchen to celebrate the new alliance. Todd was no longer a slave to routine and being with Dirk was all he really wanted. Dirk couldn’t be any happier to have Todd either. It was a happy day ��Er�:

#brotzly #dirkandtodd #dirk and todd #dghda fic

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jennaschererwrites · 7 years

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'Dirk Gently' Star Hannah Marks on 'Female Gaze' in Film, TV - Rolling Stone

Hannah Marks has a lot on her plate, but she wouldn't have it any other way. The 24-year-old is currently dividing her time between Vancouver, where she's filming the second season of BBC America series Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, and New York City, where she's doing post-production on the film Shotgun, her writing and directorial debut.

Marks has been acting professionally since she was 11 years old, though she first caught the bug when she was even younger, making her stage debut at the age of five. Her mother, Nova Ball, was a TV actor before Marks was born, and she remembers watching her mom's reels from shows like Who's the Boss? and Knots Landing. "I thought it was so cool that you could be, like, inside the television," Marks tells Rolling Stone with a laugh, speaking via phone from the set of Dirk Gently.

As an actor, Marks has an impressively long resume. She's had recurring roles on a slew of shows, including Weeds, Necessary Roughness, The Real O'Neals and Awkward. On Dirk Gently, Max Landis' sci-fi detective series based on the Douglas Adams book of the same name, she plays Amanda Brotzman, a would-be punk rocker who suffers from crippling hallucinations.

When Marks first started doing Dirk Gently – which stars Samuel Barnett as the titular character and Elijah Wood as his reluctant sidekick Todd – she was surprised by the buzz it generated due to its sheer bizarreness. "Last year, I had no idea we were making a weird television show until all these articles came out that we were the weirdest show on TV," Marks says of the series. "This year, it's so much weirder, which I'm so happy about. Because we might as well embrace what makes us special."

Marks has been interested in writing since she was a teenager, when she went through a rough breakup and exorcised her demons on paper. She's come a long way since then, writing and directing two shorts last year, and now working on her first feature with Shotgun, due out in 2018.

Written and directed alongside Joey Power, Shotgun is a comedy about a young couple who rush into marriage when one of them is diagnosed with cancer. And if that doesn't necessarily sound like comedy fodder, Marks says it doesn't go the way you might think it would go.

"[Joey] and I are both neurotic, and we were like: What would happen if we got really sick right now, and how would that escalate our relationships? It's exploring inequality in relationships, and what happens when you're so young and you're with someone but you don't know if you're gonna be with them forever," she explains.

For now, Marks is happy to work on both sides of the camera, but she sees herself eventually transitioning toward more writing and directing. "I don't have a huge interest in being an aging actress. I've seen how harsh people can be, and I don't really want to feel insecure in auditioning for the rest of my life," she says. She sites fellow multi-hyphenates Lena Dunham, Greta Gerwig and Tina Fey as sources of inspiration.

When it comes to subject matter both as a writer-director and an actor, Marks is committed to increasing the amount of female-driven narratives out there in Hollywood and the world. "I like to tell stories about women and about the female voice," she says. "We've had the male gaze for so long, and now women like Jill Soloway are talking about the female gaze, and that could not be more in line with exactly the type of projects that I want to do."

#hannah marks #dirk gently #dirk gently's holistic detective agency #25 under 25 #rolling stone #jenna scherer #tv #movies #shotgun #female gaze #joey power #interview

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coloursflyaway · 8 years

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I've been working my way through your AMAZING fic and saw you take prompts? I'd love a brotzly fic where they have to go under cover as a couple to a wedding or similar

First of all, thank you so much, I am glad you enjoy it! ♥ And then, yes, of course, here you go, although it turned out a little bit different that the prompt… I hope you don’t mind too much.

Seal My Fate

Pairing: Dirk Gently/ Todd Brotzman

Rating: T

Words: 3.777

Or: Todd Brotzman wouldn't know a date if it bit him on the ass.

„Cominghere was really the most splendid idea, Todd“, Dirk tells him for the thirdtime that day, and Todd can just so resist rolling his eyes. “It wasn’t really an idea”, he tells the other, stuffs his hands into thepockets of his suit. He hates wearing it, the fabric too stiff to feelcomfortable, but back in the days when Amanda was still speaking to him morethan for the occasional quick text or call, she had assured him he looked good init. Or rather, hot as fuck, big bro,in her words. “I just got an invitation.”

“Still.”Dirk, as always, is absolutely undeterred by his words, smiles to himself andfollows Todd through the pews. He looks different today, his leather jacketreplaced by a grey suit with some kind of subtle plaid pattern on it, the onlysplash of colour a tie that reminds Todd vaguely of someone killing a flamingoand wrapping it around Dirk’s neck. All in all, he looks, for his standards, atleast, normal. “You decided to bring me, which I am certain the invitation said nothing of,and that was very good thinking on your part.” Dirk looks happy enough withthat explanation and Todd knows protesting won’t change anything, but stilltries. “It did say “plus one” so…” He shrugs, and Dirk stops for a moment, obviouslythinking, then his face lights up again; he’s found the solution to a problemthat really isn’t one. “You could have brought Farah!”, he exclaims, looking more satisfied than agrown man should possibly be allowed to. “But you didn’t. A very wise choice,really. Oh! Who knows, we might find a case here! Or rather, the case mightfind us! We should try and blend in, very sneaky, so they don’t notice –“

At thispoint, Todd does what he does more often than he’d ever admit (amongst otherthings; there are a lot of things he would never admit, most of them having todo with Dirk), he stops listening and instead ponders something Dirk has saidbefore. Farah. He could have brought her, absolutely. She would have been the logical choiceto take with him to a wedding, a gorgeous, witty, if strange woman, who couldhave protected him from any and all kinds of attacks, such as unwanted smalltalk or those tiny mayonnaise-covered shrimps the waitresses keep offering him.Dirk is useless at that, talks to everyone who just looks in their directionand has eaten his body weight in hors d’oeuvres before the actual ceremony haseven started. And yet, he didn’t even consider asking Farah, but had gone to Dirk straightaway, had basked in the glow of the other’s smile when Todd asked him to come.

Heremembers that smile well, the way it had made Dirk’s eyes shine even morebrightly than usual, the exact pitch of the other’s voice when he had agreed,the – Todd shakes his head slightly, banning the thought from his mind. Thereare some things that he won’t ever admit, but even more things that heabsolutely refuses to think about.

Fortunately,he doesn’t have to, is saved by two people he didn’t think he’d ever see againjust three weeks ago: a lanky man in his late twenties with hair of the mostboring shade of brown imaginable and more freckles than should fit on a singleface, but an impossibly kind smile, and a woman with dark skin and hair dyed somany different, clashing colours that it looks like Todd imagines Dirk’scloset. Andrew, former bassist of the little known, but still very good Indie band The Mexican Funeral, and hissoon-to-be-wife and former band member, Mindy.

“Todd”,Andrew greets him, smiling a smile Todd does not deserve. “I’m glad you couldmake it.”Mindy nods and smiles at him as well, although this is a smile he does deserve– polite, but not very pleased. It’s not hard to figure out who insisted oninviting Todd. “Me too. Thank you again for the invitation, I didn’t – well. You know.”He sounds as awkward as he feels, which at least seems to please Mindy; Andrewpretends that he doesn’t notice. To say something, anything, really, that isn’tan apology, Todd gestures to his right, to Dirk, starts, “This is Dirk Gently,by the way. He’s –““I’m his date”, Dirk finishes the sentence for him, extends a hand, his smileso bright Todd can hear it even over how utterly dumbfounded he is. Date? “And I am so glad to meet you.Todd doesn’t really speak much about anything to do with The Mexican Funeral, so it’s great to meet someone who might do soinstead. I am terribly interesting in, oh, anything to do with his past,really. And such a joyous occasion as well! I truly do wish you all the luck inthe world.”

The couplein front of them looks as confused as Todd feels, but Andrew is the politestperson Todd has ever met, so he takes Dirk’s hand and shakes it. “Dirk, uh, good to meet you too. I didn’t know that – well, I suppose it’s beensome time. Anyway. We’ll see you two around, alright?”Todd nods, not sure if he remembers how to speak, and they leave; the word date still echoes in Todd’s mind. Adate? Could this be considered a date? Of course, they dressed up, and Toddsupposes that a wedding could be considered romantic, but - He doesn’t get any further with that train of thought, because his brainsupplies him with a memory that clears everything up instantly: Dirk talkingabout a case, about blending in, being sneaky. And of course, that is all it isand can be. Explaining that he is a holistic detective who is looking for a mystery tosolve would cause a commotion, most likely, and definitely be the end ofblending in and being sneaky. But there are couples all around, so what betterdisguise to use?

Todd looksover at Dirk, all spruced up, with his hair perfectly coiffed and his tie alittle bit crooked, and tries to ignore that his heart feels like it’sbreaking.

They taketheir seats and the wedding begins, Mindy and Andrew both glowing withhappiness, stumbling and stuttering and sobbing out their vows, and, unknown toanyone but himself, Todd suffers from a series of heart attacks when somewherein between, Dirk reaches out and laces their fingers together.

“So how didyou meet?”, Dirk asks and almost bodily pushes some other felicitator out ofthe way to sidle up to Mindy and Andrew. The two of them are sharing a flute ofchampagne and a piece of cake, and are apparently too deliriously happy to mindTodd and his not-date intruding. “At band practice”, Andrew answers, hardly missing a beat, which is quiteimpressive. He turns to his wife, beaming at her like he is seeing her for thevery first time. “Because of Todd, actually. He had put an ad in the paper and theboth of us showed up. I was sure that Mindy hated me at first, until I figuredout that it was just all that eyeliner that made it seem like she wanted tomurder me.”

“I wasstaring at him the whole time, that’s what he means”, she butts in, soundingmore content than Todd has ever heard her, even after being in the same bandfor nearly three years. He might not have any right to do so, but Todd stillfeels happy for them. “Couldn’t believe that someone so cute wanted to even bein the same room as me, let alone smile at me and try to make incrediblyawkward jokes.”“She laughed at them though!”, Andrew clarifies with a chuckle, presses a kissto Mindy’s cheek. Todd’s own cheek aches jealously. “What about you? How didyou meet?”

There is amoment in which Todd panics, proper, vicious fear clutching at his throat, butDirk just smiles his most charming smile and doesn’t notice that Todd almostdies right on the spot when he takes his hand once more. Through the fog ofpanic, longing and confusion, Todd registers that Dirk’s thumb is softlybrushing over his knuckles. “Oh, it’s quite a different story, that!”, Dirk replies easily, like he has toldthe tale a hundred times already. “I broke into Todd’s apartment one night – Ihad… seen him before, and I just had the strangest hunch that he’d beimportant. It wasn’t the most conventional way of courting someone, I have toadmit, but it worked. And I was right. He turned out to be the most important thingthat ever happened to me.”He turns to face Todd, who wishes he could just close his eyes, because seeingDirk like this is almost painful. His eyes are blue and gentle, filled with somethingTodd can only describe as devotion, love sparking from them; he looks soearnest Todd could almost trick himself into believing him.

Who wouldhave thought that Dirk Gently was any good as an actor?

He stillhasn’t looked away when Andrew chuckles and saves him, ruins the moment. “I would say that is quite romantic, if strange… and possibly illegal”, hecomments, and Todd finally turns to look at him, feeling his cheeks heat up tothe point where he’s fairly certain he’s running a fever. “Oh, Todd, there’s no need to be embarrassed”, he continues, obviously noticinghis discomfort and interpreting it horribly wrong. “We always kind of suspectedthat – well. It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Now that you’ve found eachother. I’m happy for you.”Andrew sounds genuine, and even Mindy is smiling at him, and the thought hemight have earned just the slightest bit of their forgiveness feels too good toprotest, or say anything at all. So Todd just nods, swallows thickly, and wonders why Dirk keeps stroking hisknuckles when no one will see.

“Do youwant to dance?”, Dirk asks suddenly, and Todd isn’t quite certain how manymetaphorical deaths it will take until he really, actually dies, but ratherconvinced he will find out before the day is over. Dirk is standing next to him, the fairy lights decorating the garden aroundthem making his eyes shine, his skin glow golden. He isn’t beautiful, becauseit’s still Dirk, and Dirk is skinny and awkward, just handsome instead ofirresistible, but he doesn’t have to be, because he knocks the breath right outof Todd’s lungs anyway.

And thereit is, spelt out so clearly in the pounding of his heart that Todd cannotpretend he doesn’t see it anymore, a truth: he might only have known DirkGently for a few, short months, but sometime along the world, Todd has givenhim his heart.

“Yeah,okay”, he mutters, and Dirk beams at him, extends a hand, and for the firsttime since they got here, it’s Todd who clasps his fingers around the otherman’s; the fluttering, uneasy feeling in his stomach is the same.“Oh, good. I thought that it would probably be the appropriate thing to askyour date, judging by everyone around us.” Dirk grips his hand tighter andpulls him onto the dancefloor, where, he is right, at least a dozen couples areswaying to the music, Andrew and Mindy in the middle of them. And there it is again, that word, unprompted and without anyone else to hear,and Dirk’s fingers intertwining with his so easily, that Todd can’t help buthope that maybe, just maybe..

He doesn’tget to finish the thought, and doesn’t really mind it, because Dirk pulls himcloser, looking down at him and not for the first time, making Todd aware howmuch taller the other is. Usually, he’d mind it – being short is nothing he isproud of – but with Dirk, it really doesn’t seem to matter. Especially when Dirk puts his other hand on Todd’s shoulder, his stance farfrom perfect.

The music is slow, sweet, and they don’t haveto talk about it, just start moving. It’s hardly enough to deserve being calleddancing, rocking back and forth a little bit, occasionally taking half a stepto let some other couple pass, and yet it feels more intimate, more subtlyerotic than full-on grinding against each other could ever be. This time, when Todd feels breathless, he doesn’t really mind it.

Time passeswithout Todd really noticing, a song changing to another to another to another,and then, Frank Sinatra crooning about only having eyes for that one person inthe background, Dirk leans in. Fairy lights and the bit of champagne they hadbefore are illuminating his face and Todd knows he should close his eyes, andyet can’t help but watch, mesmerized, and wonder how Dirk’s lips are going tofeel against his.

“I thinkI’ve found our case”, Dirk whispers.

The caseends up being a woman – some obscure aunt, Mindy tells them later – systematicallystealing the catering company’s silverware, and Dirk is ecstatic about havingsolved their seventh case together; Todd feels like someone has ripped hisheart from his chest, sliced it into little pieces and stuffed glass wool intothe vacant space to keep him from collapsing. He’s tired, impossibly so, tells Dirk that much, but can’t convince the otherto stay behind while he leaves, no matter how much he tries. Andrew and Mindy tell him to call sometime, which he probably won’t, and then Toddis left with an overly-concerned holistic detective in his car, instead of in acab on his own, where he’d like to be, trying to figure out how much of the shatteredpieces that once made up his heart are still salvageable.

“And youare certain that you are fine? You don’t look fine”, Dirk asks for the fifthtime when they have finally pulled up at the curb in front of the Ridgely. Hesounds genuinely worried, which would be sweet, if sweet didn’t just serve to crushTodd’s heart into smaller splinters still. Hoping, he decides, is always theworst course of action.“I’m okay, Dirk”, he tells the other, ignores the puppy eyes and gets out ofthe car. He should wait for Dirk – they do live in the same building after all– but right now, he just doesn’t have the strength to do so. Instead, Todd walks, makes it up the few steps to the front door before a handwrapped around his wrist causes him to stop. It’s the same hand he knows sowell by now, and it still makes Todd’s skin burn and tingle with want.

“Are youmad at me?”, Dirk asks with the quietest, most forlorn of voices, making Toddlook up at him although he really, really doesn’t want to. “Have I donesomething wrong? …again?”“…no.” The word takes more strength to utter than Todd thought he had leftinside him, but it makes Dirk smile again, and therefore, is worth it.“Oh, thank God”, the other answers, so very obviously relieved that Todd almostexpects him to start awkwardly patting his shoulder. Instead, Dirk’s hand stayswhere it is, around Todd’s wrist. “You had me worried. I would always mind itif you were upset with me, obviously, but I’d mind it a lot more tonight, Ithink. I enjoyed the wedding a lot. Thank you for taking me.”

Dirk looksalmost shy at his admission, even if still like he is burning up withhappiness, like solving this one dumb case really made all the difference tohis world, and Todd manages half a smile. “No problem”, he tells him, “Thank you for coming. It would have been a lotmore awkward without you.”The not-even-praise makes Dirk light up, and Todd wants to reclaim his wrist sohe can go back to his flat and get as drunk as he possibly can with whateveralcohol he has left, but he’s not fast enough; Dirk speaks first.

“I guessthat’s good night then”, the other says, and sounds nervous, looks like he isblushing. “This is – I mean, I think it’s appropriate to – oh, bugger it.”There is a split second that Todd spends wondering whatever the hell it is Dirkis speaking about, and then. Well. He doesn’t think anymore at all.

Dirk’s lipsare as soft as he thought they would be, clumsy as they kiss him, leaving thetaste of champagne on Todd’s mouth when the other pulls back, and the faintsensation of his heart mending itself in his chest. His own eyes haven’t closed the entire time, his brain to shocked to evenblink, but Dirk’s only flutter open after he has straightened again, like he isunwilling to let the moment pass completely. Todd is impossibly glad for thehand around his wrist, preventing him from doing something stupid like touchinga finger to his lips, hoping to feel Dirk’s kiss on them still.

“…so thiswas a date?”, Todd finally says, and of course, it is the stupidest possibleresponse anyone could have thought of, not only effectively ruining the moment,but also wiping the blissful happiness clean from Dirk’s face. “Yes? Wait, wasn’t it? Was that what I did wrong?”There is something like panic slowly creeping into Dirk’s eyes, a look thatsuits him far less than contentment, and although Todd usually is only good atruining things, not fixing them, he manages to do so now. “I was – I mean, no, it wasn’t, but not because – not because I didn’t want itto be. I wanted it to be a date. More than I realised at first, even, I really wanted it to be a date. And itwould have been a great date, too, even with the stealing aunt, if I had justnoticed that it was one.”He tries to give Dirk a smile, which works far better than it did just momentsago; his heart, now fully functioning again, realises what is happening andpicks up its pace. The other, though, still looks shaken, so Todd adds, “I thought it was adetective thing. A disguise to blend in, you know? But the point is that I’dlike it a lot better if it wasn’t any of that. Just a date.”

Todd’swords seem to finally catch up to Dirk, make the shock and pain melt away atlast. “Oh”, he breathes out and there aremore relief in that one syllable than should be possible. “Oh, good. That wouldhave been horribly awkward – not to mention, utterly devastating, really,because I really enjoyed it. The date, I mean. And – and kissing you. I reallyenjoyed that too.”There is a faint hint of pink tinting Dirk’s cheeks, the tips of his ears, buthis eyes are bright with something Todd has seen before, just hours ago; loveshining out of them with an intensity that makes it hard to breathe. “I – “, Todd starts and doesn’t know to finish the sentence, doesn’t even knowwhat he could have wanted to say, but one single thing. “Me too.”

A smilegrazes Dirk’s lips, the kind that Todd knows would bloom into a fully-fledgedbeam grin soon, if it had the time. It doesn’t, because Todd gets up on histiptoes and this time, his eyes flutter closed even before he kisses Dirk,shutting out the world around him so it’s just the two of them. The other’slips are curved against his, allowing themselves be coaxed into kissing back byTodd’s hand coming up to cup Dirk’s cheek, trailing calloused fingertips overhis skin. The kiss is soft and slow, almost lazy, the kind you don’t mention in any storyyou tell but sometimes think about at night and feel your lips tingle; whenTodd draws back, his chest is aflame with affection, maybe even love.

Dirk looksawestruck somehow, eyes glazed over when he opens them again and his cheeks thepink of his tie. Before he speaks, he clears his throat and yet his voice isstill slightly hoarse when he speaks, lower than Todd is used to. “I liked that one even better.”“Me too.”

It’s not arisk when he leans up and steals another tiny kiss, and that alone is enough toamaze Todd, who expected to go to sleep with a broken heart and now can tasteDirk on his lips, can feel the other’s breath against his skin. Has Dirk lookat him like he is the single most beautiful person he has ever seen, the mostimportant thing that ever happened to him. Can finally put a name to hisfluttering, adoring heart without fearing what that could change. “You know”, Todd says, and feels said heart beat a little faster, like it isjust warming up for later. “You could come in. With me.”Dirk loses a bit of the glow surrounding him, brow furrowing slightly inconfusion, somehow making him look younger than he is. Innocent, almost. “Butdidn’t you say you were tired? I don’t want to keep you up. Well, want to, yes,but –““Dirk”, Todd interrupts, says the other’s name like it’s a term of endearmentand finds that to him, it is. “I’m definitely not too tired for that.”

He stepsjust the slightest bit closer still and watches the blush of Dirk’s cheeksdarken as he begins to understand what it is Todd means. “A-Alright”, he finally replies, voice breathless and nervous and excited; thegentle warmth and affection spreading through Todd’s body turn into somethinghotter, more anticipatory. “I’m fairly certain that I’d like that even better.”

This time,when Todd kisses him, there’s more heat in it, his tongue darting out to tasteand drawing the faintest moan from Dirk, a sound Todd knows he’ll treasureforever. He only pulls away when continuing would put them dangerously close topublic indecency territory; Dirk isbreathing hard, lips kissed pink and eyes dark, a look Todd would never haveexpected to see on him and yet wants to keep there for the rest of his life. Stepping away at last, Todd turns his hand so he can grasp the one Dirk stillhas around his wrist, and gives him a smile that most likely only looks half asseductive as he wishes it would, but seems to work on Dirk anyway. “Don’t worry, I’m going to make sure of it.”

#dirk gently's holistic detective agency #dghda #dirk gently #todd brotzman #brotzly #i had so much fun writing this and i am so sorry it's a bit hurried #but unfortunately uni demands part of my time #ugh #Anonymous

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