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#tomorrow i am working from home again i think
bteezxyewriter12 · 1 day
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Here Without You
Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader
Word count- 4k
Includes- Based on song Here without you by three doors down, angst, fluff, sex, missionary, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, cock riding, multiple orgasms
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Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa
@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000
Gif Credit- Yooboobies
Masterlists- check out for more fics
📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist
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J POV
Opening the door to my apartment, silence greets me, my eyes tearing up
"Stop it", I whisper to myself, wiping my eyes
I need to stop crying all the time
It doesn't help
It doesn't bring him back
I just have to wait for him to come back
He will
When the tour's done, he'll be home again
Closing and locking the door, I go to our room to undress
I try to think of what I have to do before I can video call him
Undress
Shower
Cook something
Eat
Maybe watch a TV show or YouTube
Some thing to pass the time until he wakes up and can call me
He's in Texas now, so when he wakes up at 10 am, it's 1 am here
Luckily I don't have work tomorrow so I can sleep in
I've stayed up late every night since he went on tour three weeks ago so I can talk to him and I've gone to work exhausted
It doesn't matter though, he's worth it
Sighing, I throw my clothes in the hamper, then go to the bathroom to shower
--------------------------------
I'm laying on the couch with the TV on for noise when my phone rings
Seeing the caller as "naekkeo", I immediately pick it up, his beautiful face filling my screen
"Hi jagi", he says softly, his sad brown eyes gazing at me
"Hi naekkeo", I answer, tears flooding my eyes
This tour has been particularly hard for us
It's the first one after our wedding
And the first one where I can't come to any of the overseas concerts
Not with this video game designer job I have now
I started it last year and the boss is an asshole
He gave me such a hard time to take off for my wedding and honeymoon even though I told the interviewer that I needed certain days off and was guaranteed them at hiring
I'm working on a major game now and I have endless meetings
The thing is I can do everything remotely but my boss is being such an ass, demanding that I come in for meetings
I'm one of three people that come in physically for meetings
The people from other departments come in virtually
Because they have other bosses who aren't pricks
This is the first time I haven't been with him at all on the tour and it's affecting both of us
He's already been gone for three torturous weeks
"How was the concert last night?", I ask, forcing the tears back
"It was good", he answers, his eyes wet, "ARMYS had fun"
"Did you have fun?", I ask
He nods, biting his lip as the tears spill over his eyes
"Naekkeo", I say softly
"I'm sorry", he says as he cries, "I just miss you"
I shake my head, my own tears falling, "I miss you too baby. Don't be sorry"
"I can't....I can't do this jagi. I need you"
I nod, wiping my eyes, trying to calm him down, "I need you too baby. It's just for a little bit"
"It's another six weeks jagi. I can't spend that long without you", he sobs, "We've never been apart this long. It's killing me"
I know exactly how he feels
"Me too naekkeo but there's nothing we can do. You have to be on the tour. I have to work. I wish I could be there, I want to be there with you", I say, more tears falling, making his image blurry, "I don't know how it can happen baby. It's torture for me too naekkeo"
He shakes his head, "I don't want to be here without you. I dream about you every night and when I wake up and you're not there it's devastating"
"I want to be with you naekkeo", I whisper, "So much. I dream about you too Yoongi and I miss you more than anything"
"I can't handle it", he sobs, "I can't sleep without you. I hate knowing you're not backstage waiting for me. I hate not seeing your smile. Hearing your voice. Holding you. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep doing this tour"
I really have no idea how he's supposed to do it either
I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going without him
Video calls, it's not enough
Like he said, I need to be in his arms, I need to feel him, hug him, kiss him
I can't do that through a screen
"We just have to keep counting down the days baby", I tell him, "Just get through each day at a time"
It sounds lame but there's nothing else I can think of to make this better
It's hard for both of us
He just shakes his head, wiping his eyes
"Tell me about the concert naekkeo", I ask him in a effort to distract us both, "What's the set list? What was your favorite part about this concert?"
He smiles sadly, knowing exactly what I'm doing
But he nods and begins talking
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Three days later
I toss and turn in bed, trying it get comfortable
I can't sleep
I've been laying in bed for hours
I know it's because I wasn't able to talk to Yoongi tonight
BTS had a concert last night and when they have concerts he can't call me
I know they did a vlive too and he went to bed really late
He's probably exhausted and slept all day
I understand
I'm not mad, I know how he operates on concert days
On little to no sleep and he crashes all day the next day
I just miss him
As I'm turning again, I hear a noise
It sounds like it's coming from the front door
Like jiggling
I quiet down and listen hard
I hear the front door open and I'm immediately alert
The door shouldn't be opening
The only ones who have keys are me and Yoongi
And Yoongi is thousands of miles away
Carefully, I get up from the bed, tip toeing to the open door
Quietly, I leave the room, going out into the hallway, ready to run or fight if I need to
A figure steps into the long hallway from the living room and I gape, not sure I'm seeing who I'm seeing
"Yoongi?", I gasp
"Jagi", he whispers, starting to come to me
I don't think, my body immediately goes into a run towards him
I get to him in seconds, crashing into him as he picks me up, his lips immediately against mine
I kiss him desperately, so shocked he's here but so fucking happy and relieved
His arms hold me tightly, keeping me against him, my legs and arms locked around his waist and neck
I don't know how long we kissed for but for me it's never enough
When the kiss does end, I lean my forehead against his, just basking in him being home
"I missed you so much", I whisper
"I missed you jagi"
"How...how are you here naekkeo? Shouldn't you be in the U.S.?"
As much as I want him here, I don't want him to get into trouble
"I couldn't stay away from you a minute longer jagi", he tells me softly, "I just can't. I can't spend another six weeks away from you, Jo. I can't do it baby"
"I can't either naekkeo", I say, knowing exactly how he feels
Like everything is colorless, lifeless without him
"I think about you all day jagi. I miss you so fucking much it hurts. I hate that you're so far from me. I don't think I ever cried so much from being away from you"
I know
This whole time has been so fucking hard, so heartbreaking
I want him to be on tour, I know how much he loves performing, I just hate that he has to be away from me to do it
"It's the same for me baby", I tell him, "I just want you so much it hurts. I want you to be able to perform naekkeo but I don't want you to be away"
"I don't want to be away either jagi"
"What are we going to do baby?", I ask, worried
He's here now but he can't stay
He has the rest of the tour to do, his ARMYS are counting on him
"You're coming back with me", he says
"Yoongi", I start, "My job naekkeo"
The stupid reason I had to stay behind
There was no way my boss would let me take two months off to go with him
"I called him jagi", he tells me, "I spoke to your boss and after a lot of convincing and proving who I was, he agreed to let you have the time off for the rest of the tour"
I gape at him, in shock
My asshole boss caved to Yoongi?
What did Yoongi say to him?
"You won't be paid for the time jagi but it doesn't matter. We have enough money"
"That's your money Yoongi"
He shakes his head, "You keep saying that jagi but it's not. It's ours. You're my wife, the love of my life, everything that's mine is yours from even before we were married baby. You know you don't even have to work jagi but you insist on it"
Of course I do
I'm not a mooch
Just because he's rich doesn't mean I can spend his money
I was never with him for the money or the potential money as we met in high school and have been together since then, when we were both broke
He works hard, he sacrificed in the beginning of BTS, the money and success he has is because of him
I even offered to sign a pre-nup before we got married and he was actually offended I even suggested it
He declined it, shocking me and he always maintains that the money and everything that comes from it is ours
"Yoongi-"
"You know you don't jagi. You know I would give you anything you ask for, do anything for you", he says softly, "And I'm good with you wanting to work baby but I need you with me. I can't go back without you. Please jagi, say you'll come with me. Please"
"Of course I'm going to come with you", I whisper, running my fingers in his black hair, "Even if I had to quit, find another job after the tour, I would come naekkeo. I can't be apart from you any more baby. I need you"
His entire body relaxes as he breathes in relief
"Ok jagi. Thank you"
"Shh baby, don't thank me. Just like you, I'll do anything for you naekkeo, give you anything you want", I assure him, "I want to be wherever you are. And if you have to be in the U.S. I'm going with you"
He nods, "Ok jagi. I love you"
"I love you Yoongi"
His lips press against mine, my heart filling with utter joy that he's here
He carries me to our room, laying me on the bed, his lips never leaving mine
He moves next to me, my body turning to his, our arms around each other
I kiss him passionately, falling into him after weeks of missing him
His kiss is everything, his arms around me is heaven
He's my everything, my world
The kiss becomes heated, his tongue against mine, our hands desperately touching each other
"I missed you", I murmur between kisses while pulling his shirt up
Her separates from me long enough to get his shirt off mine following
"I missed you too, you have no idea"
"I do naekkeo, I missed you just as much"
He smiles his gorgeous smile right before kissing me, his hand slowly pulling down my pj pants and panties
Once they're off, I slide my hands down his sweatpants, getting them and his boxers off
I want him so badly
Three weeks of no physical contact is catching up to us
He moves on top of me, laying between my open legs, his warm smooth skin right against mine
His forehead leans against mine as I move my arms around him, my hand on his back, slowly running my palms up and down, feeling him
He moans softly, his skin trembling under my hands
I slide my hands up, moving over and along his strong shoulders, up his neck, sinking my fingers in his soft hair
We shift slightly, our lips against each other's, kissing desperately
I feel his length at my entrance and I drop my hands to his hips, pulling him closer to me
He takes the hint, his cock sliding inside, my pussy stretching around his thick shaft, pleasure tingling throughout every cell of my body
He whimpers into the kiss as he pushes in inch by inch, my pussy getting wetter and wetter, impaling me on his huge thick dick
My body arches from the pleasure, letting him slide in faster, bottoming out quicker, his head nestled against my spot
I shiver under him, squeezing his cock involuntarily hard
"Fuck", he groans, moving his arm around my waist and holding me against him, "You feel so good jagi. Always so tight for me. So wet"
"Mmm", I murmur, shivering against his lips that found their way to my neck, "And you feel good naekkeo. So hard, all the fucking time"
I purposely clench around his cock, his moan so hot as I enjoy the hard feeling of him buried inside me
"You make me this way jagi", he whimpers, "Fuck, anything you do turns me on. If I could stay inside you all fucking day, I would"
I giggle, kissing the top of his head, "I'd definitely let you baby"
I happen to really enjoy having him inside my pussy
Even if we're just laying here
We don't have to have sex
Cock warming is a huge thing with us, it's something we both love
He lifts his head from my neck, smiling, then kissing me softly
I fall into his kiss as he begins to move, slowly pulling out a little bit then slamming back inside
His head hits my spot, stars blasting in my vision, every nerve on my body alive and electrified
With every stroke he pulls out more and more, until he pulls out to his head, then buries back inside me
He moves at a good pace, fucking me into the bed and my head is in the clouds from the sheer pleasure
He press kisses against every inch of skin he can, my body trembling under his lips
His hand slides slowly up my body from my waist, up my arm, his hand taking mine, intertwining our fingers
I close my hand around his, holding on tightly
His other arm is next to my head, leaning on it as he moves, thrusting into my pussy again and again
"Yoongi", I moan in bliss, closing my eyes as I just feel him
Feel his body against mine, his skin against mine, his cock moving inside me
I'm loving every single second of it
Each smack against my spot brings me closer, my legs tighting around his waist, my pussy throbbing around his cock hard
I'm so hot and sweaty, panting for breath, my fingers digging into his back, my other hand clenching his
"You're so fucking beautiful", he whispers
I open my eyes to find him looking down at me, watching, love pouring from his eyes, "My God, I'm so fucking lucky you're mine"
I smile shyly, "No naekkeo, I'm so lucky you're mine. I love you"
"I love you Jo", he murmurs, his lips finding mine
His kiss combined with him sliding back into me, right into my spot, have me shaking and coming on his thick cock
"Yoongi", I moan between kisses, the intense pleasure washing over me, my pussy clenching around him hard
He moans, his hips not stopping, rolling into me, fucking me through my orgasm
As the pleasure fades, I relax into the bed, Yoongi kissing all over my body as he pulls out
My skin jumps with every press of his lips, his hot kisses feeling so fucking good
He kisses my lower stomach, my hand finding its way into his damp hair, tangling in the strands
He moves down slowly, now pressing kisses against my pussy, pushing my legs wide open
I feel his tongue on me, licking up slowly, my body shivering in bliss
He groans loudly, his tongue moving a bit faster, "So fucking good"
"Yoongi", I whine, feeling so fucking good
My god, I missed this, missed him
His hands grip my legs tightly, his tongue dipping into my hole, my pussy clenching down on it immediately
He licks out and up, his tongue rolling over my clit, my body arching from the increased pleasure swarming over me
His tongue slides back down, circling my hole before dipping in, shoving as much in as he can, then pulling out, sliding up and flicking my clit
He repeats the motions over and over, my cunt getting wetter with every move of his talented tongue
I know I'm completely soaking his face and I know he loves it
"My baby tastes so good", he groans, tongue swirling around my clit, driving me fucking insane, "My baby's pussy is so fucking good. So fucking sweet"
God, he's so hot
The way he's so into eating me out makes everything feel ten times better
I like knowing that he really enjoys doing it instead of feeling like he has to
His tongue move faster, all over my clit, my hips moving on their own, fucking his face, knowing that this is another thing he loves
"Yes baby, fuck yes", he urges, "Don't stop jagi"
His mouth wraps around my clit, sucking hard and I scream his name, squirting a little on his face
"Mmm", he moans, his mouth moving faster, slurping around my clit, the pleasure so fucking intense, my entire body is shaking and my head is empty
I tug his hair tightly, his next suck sending me straight into a mind shattering orgasm
"Yoongi!", I scream, coming on his face, his tongue driving right into my hole, his mouth sucking and swallowing my cum
I can't think, don't know which way is up, all I can do is ride the waves of bliss
It's so intense, so mind numbingly pleasurable
God, Yoongi is the king of oral
His licking slows down as I finish, his eyes already on me when I look down at him
He smirks, kissing my inner thigh, his tongue licking up my cunt one more time
"So good jagi"
I sit up just as he does and I move closer to him, kissing him hard
His tongue moves in my mouth as I climb in his lap, pushing him down on the bed
I follow, kissing him silly, running my fingers in his sweaty hair
He moves me over his length and I sit, taking him in immediately
I'm so wet, I slide all the way down his cock so easily, moving my hips to rock on him
His hands grab my ass, holding on as his hips lift, keeping his cock as deep as he can inside me while I grind on him
Breaking the kiss, I lean on his shoulders, starting to bounce softly on his cock
"Fuck jagi", he groans, his fingers digging into my skin, "Fuck"
"God Yoongi", I cry, his cock spreading my pussy so deliciously, tingles are running up my spine, "So good baby, so fucking good"
He nods, his eyes glued on me as I ride him faster, harder, "Fuck baby, that pussy looks so good on my dick. Creaming my cock so much, it's pouring out of you"
It is, I can feel it, all over this cock, all over his lap, the sticky feeling making me so horny
"Mmm do you hear how loud your pussy is?", he asks as I indeed hear how loud the squelching is, "Fuck, missed me this much?"
"Yes naekkeo", I moan, grinding down on his cock when I take him all in, his head rubbing my spot, making my body shiver, "Missed you so fucking much"
"Missed you too jagi", he groans
"I know", I smirk, his throbbing cock so stiff inside my cunt, "I feel how much you missed me"
He smiles his gorgeous smile, his eyes travelling from my pussy up my body to my face
"So pretty baby", he says softly, "So good at riding my cock"
I smirk, nodding, our skin slamming together loudly with every move, "You know how much I love riding you"
He nods
It's our favorite position, the one we fuck in the most
I don't know, my legs do get tired sometimes but it takes awhile for that to happen and when it does, I still don't stop
I can get him in so much deeper, bounce on him, rock or grind on his dick
And he can fuck me too so it's not just me always fucking him
The best part, for me, is that I get to watch him
Watch him in pleasure, watch him cum
He's so fucking beautiful it's insane
And that's what I do now
Looking down at him, watching him in pleasure, the sight such a fucking turn on
His eyes closed, his head pushed back into the pillow, his mouth slightly open, breathing hard, his hair wet with sweat, his fingers digging into my hips, sweat shortening on his skin as he whimpers my name, begging me to not stop in his sexy voice
He's so fucking stunning without even trying
And he's all mine
Leaning down, I whisper in his ear, "Cum for me naekkeo"
"Oh god, fuck", he groans, holding my hips hard and thrusting up, meeting my bounces, sliding deep inside
We move together, fucking each other, both of us getting fucked out and desperate to cum, moaning loudly
"Yoongi! Yoongi!", I cry, unbelievable ecstacy slamming into every crevice of my body as he fucks me into an earth shattering orgasm
"Fuck Joanne! Jagi!", he cries, his cock pulsing, his warm cum filling me, his body shaking under me
I force my eyes open and watch the complete ethereal sight of him orgasming
I never want to miss seeing this
I rock on his cock, making the pleasure last a little longer for both of us, our bodies relaxing as the bliss so slowly leaves
I move off him but don't go far, snuggling in his arm, my head on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat
His fingers run slowly up and down my back, giving me shivers
"When do we have to leave tomorrow?", I ask
He looks down at me, smiling, "Don't worry jagi, I got a later flight. 5 pm"
"Oh thank God", I giggle
He laughs, "I knew you'd want to spend as much time in bed together as you can"
I raise my eyebrow, "As if you don't want that either"
"Of course I want that baby", he agrees, "We can slack off for awhile, then I'll help you pack and we can go"
"Back to Texas?"
"California", he answers
I nod, "Ok"
"Ok", he nods
I gaze in his beautiful dark brown eyes, reaching up and running my fingers in his hair, "I love you so much Yoongi"
"I love you so much Jo. So fucking much"
I know he does
I'm so lucky to have found someone who loves me as much as I love them
Yoongi is the best thing that has ever happened to me
He's my everything
I lean closer, my lips against his in a soft loving kiss
His arms hold me tightly as he kisses me back and I'm so glad he came back for me
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wow ok lots of things got done today!! virtually all of them by my mom who is a champion and is doing all the baby prep things i can't do because my hands are horribly broken. she put together the crib and the dresser, bought under-the-bed organizers, helped me sort and put away the huge bags of baby clothes people have given me, and is now PAINTING the nursery (and yes it's yet another shade of green i will not be accepting questions or criticisms at this time thank u). anyway this place is so ready for a baby! cannot believe i have five or more weeks left to wait!!!!!! i was also decently productive and got a bunch of work tasks done, then switched gears and wrote a million thank you notes... 26 down, 5 to go!!!
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figofswords · 1 month
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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chloeseyeliner · 1 month
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what the fuck??!
why is uni filled with so much drama?
i just want to study, work, exercise, figure out how to handle my finances and what to eat, sleep, write fanfiction that's never going to see the light of day, walk with nature surrounding me, be grumpy inside because the bus is over-crowded, take part in research, repeat.
why?
i can't do this.
i really hate drama. i have never been involved in it. ANY TIPS? 🤡🤦🏻‍♀️
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steelycunt · 6 months
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FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!
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rutadales · 8 months
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I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that
And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.
But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.
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be-good-to-bugs · 17 days
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you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep
#the bin#uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep#deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower#maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the#next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh#i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come#over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet#i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks#hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice#tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb#i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember!#and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably#be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be.#i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i#cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum.#well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that.#i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain.#and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped#i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working
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immamapletreekid · 27 days
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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youremyonlyhope · 1 month
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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starlesseyes · 2 years
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#hello it's 4 am and i'm lonely#i feel very disconnected from everyone in my life#like not to sound like a 14yo emo on main but no one understands me lmao#i just want to be with someone who feels like home#someone who loves the things i love and not just because i love them so we can actually bond over them and i won't feel like a fuckin freak#or worse that i'm just being tolerated or they're not even listening to me and just zoning out while i gush over things#i can literally feel when people don't care about what i'm talking about and it makes me feel so small and stupid and humiliated and LONELY#lately my best friend has been telling me how sad she is bc she feels like no one will ever love her romantically#and it hurts me to hear bc i know she's wonderful and deserving of love but i can't possibly convince her of that yknow#and it's weird bc i feel this way about myself too but i don't think much about it? or i didn't before she started telling me how she felt#like before this i was just coming to terms with my last relationship and thinking about the self work i wanna do before i try dating again#but lately i've been crying every single night thinking i'll never get my shit together and therefore no one will ever want to date me#like i truly feel unworthy of romantic love#ugh i probably should just let myself go to sleep when i have these thoughts lmao instead of staying up and dwelling on them#i'm definitely sleepy enough#i just don't want tomorrow to come bc then i'll have to go to work again. i want to enjoy the peaceful nighttime just a little bit longer.
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transgaysex · 6 months
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i was super gonna say something when i opened this app but i lost it. wuh
#wind howls#i am sleepy and im sleeping soon i promise. but there eas something i was gonna say and i forgot#umm.. oh in the end my dash and everything still loads on my phone. no idea why it misbehaved earlier#all good now. hmmm#what else. end of semester is starting to hit and it is Not Very Pleasant if i can be so real with you all#like i enjoy what i do. it definitely is fun and im enjoying my classes for thr very most part#but gweh... im onto the final projects for like. modelling. editing. space/architecture. animation.#and we missed a few classes in photography bc of the strike and other stuffs. and the teacher has covid.#so im not sure what the hells up with that class. were not even onto the final project/exam i dont think.#and the teachers are likely striking again from december 8th to 14th which like. weh#classes end on the 11th so its not the end of the world but we still have quite a few projects due#and strikes mean the school is out of use. so we cant like. use the school computers to do our assignments at all#and some of those assignments i cant do at home bc i dont have the programs for it because adobe doesnt deserve a single penny from me.#all in all were really in it deep and a bit rough. it couldve been easier but i understand the need for the strike#sigh...#big assignment due on friday that i havent started yet. i hope to do it all tomorrow after i finish my classes since i end at like. 3 pm.#and i dont have any after school plans other than going to the bank so ill be able to work on that for a lil bit at the very least.#hopefully i could even finish them. so that i can spend thursday worry free. maybe even relax.#i feel like ive been running all week ! i need a breather and 17 hours straight of sleep !!!#goodnight !
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apollo-zero-one · 8 months
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Me after sleeping practically all day: Ah, finally time to go to bed.
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piplupod · 9 months
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I think the kitchen is halfway clean yayyy two days of work and I'm finally seeing progress :')
Bedroom is largely untouched, same with the hallway, but the bathroom is clean! I will not be paying the rec room any attention whatsoever until maybe after everything else is clean and in order again djdksl thats going to be a lot of work to figure out how to clean and organize it bc of my chaotic creative processes
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tender-rosiey · 6 months
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hiii 😭 I REALLY LOVE UR GOJO X YN SO MUCHHH 😔😔 I was also wondering like maybe what if y/n has a wound, like any where 🥲 it could be either on her back, arms, legs but she doesn't wanna tell gojo abt it and she hides it, then he will find out about it either she winces when gojo hugs her, starts wearing long sleeved clothes or her shirt lifts up while sleeping 🤧 TYSMM❤❤
strain — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: I am honored that you like my works, love! hope you enjoy this as well 🫶💕🫶 also happy birthday to the man, the myth, the legend: gojo satoru!! (it’s still his birthday in my country so hush I am not late)
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you are more than a capable sorcerer. in fact, you are one of the strongest in the field.
however, like anyone else, there are some moments where things get a little out of hand, and you come back bearing a rather long slash on your left arm.
but since it’s pretty late, you decided you will bother shoko about it in the morning. that is how you’re finally in your home, with satoru nowhere to be found.
you frown lightly at the fact that he is still out there fighting curses, but a part of you feels relieved that you don’t have to explain your situation right now.
the night should pass by smoothly, and you will go to shoko tomorrow: a fool-proof plan!
so you do what you can to sanitize the wound, and cover it until you can get it treated properly. you also take the chance to indulge in your favorite snack as a good job treat.
after finishing your food and tidying up for the day, you’re finally in bed, all-cozied up and avoiding anything touching your wound as much as possible.
a deep breathe in, a deep breathe out, and you slowly drift to sleep.
not much time passes before satoru’s familiar footsteps echo throughout the house.
your husband has an abundance of energy.
but it seemed like today’s missions have drained him a bit more than normal, so he skips eating anything and heads straight to your shared bedroom.
his heart softens, and his muscles relax upon the sight of you tucked in bed. he walks to press a small kiss on your forehead, quickly changing into his pajamas and settling right by your side.
he stretches a bit and turns to spoon you as per usual, eyes closing in contentment.
but you wince, even if adeptly, and it sends alarms ringing through his head.
he jerks up, and his hand is instantly placed on your arm again, softly. there is an ever so faint change in your expression as your eyebrows furrow, and he has never pulled his hand away so fast.
he keeps debating in his head whether to wake you up or not, but he swiftly settles for the former.
he needs to know what happened. so he, regrettably, nudges your sleepy form, “y/n?”
you groan, but, nonetheless, you reply, “…what?”
while satoru often likes to base theatrics around his every move and phrase, but he also knows when to get straight to the point, “did you get hurt on today’s mission?”
you’re no longer half-asleep, and you quickly sit up, eyeing your husband. knowing there is no escape nor denial, you fidget with your fingers and nod slowly.
then you hurriedly utter, “but I was going to see shoko first thing in the morning; I promise!”
he nods slowly, holding your hands in his own. you’re left to look him in the eyes. satoru’s eyes being exposed makes him feel so vulnerable, or at least that’s how he is with you.
you can see every wrinkle, and every crease; you can see what he is thinking about in real time. he has long given up hiding anything from you, and, besides, it feels fresh to just let go.
but right now, as you look into his eyes, you see them swarming with confliction, pain, and worry.
he doesn’t scold you about not going right now because he knows that you will tell him that you either thought it wasn’t a big deal or that you didn’t want to bother shoko with it.
instead, he settles on a hushed whisper of “can I see it?”
you throw him a confused look, “why? I am getting it treated tomorrow anyway,” then you smile, “it’s not going to permanent if that’s what you’re worried about.”
he shakes his head, “it’s not that; I just—“ he takes a deep breath then looks at you pleadingly, “just let me see it.”
perhaps it’s to silence his thoughts and to show him that you’re truly okay, as okay as you can be.
you’re still alive, and that’s what matters, he thinks. nevertheless, he feels the need to see just how serious is the wound anyway.
reluctantly, you slowly take off your jacket to reveal the poorly bandaged gash on your arm.
he looks up at you, asking for permission because even if he needs to see it for his own selfish reasons, he has to put you above anything and everything else.
you nod, giving the free reign to slowly take off the bandages. you can barely hold back any pained noises, but you can’t help the wincing of your body.
satoru’s frown deepens, and with every move, your husband’s heart aches. it goes like that until the wound is finally unveiled.
you feel satoru observing the cut so intently that you look away. satoru curses everything that he can think of, and never has we wanted the ability to heal others more than right now.
he straightens his back, “that’s a deep cut, y’know.”
“I know…”
“you also realize that the wound could’ve hit your chest and inevitably heart, right?”
you huff, “listen, if you’re going to give me a lecture or keep making me feel bad about it then I will have you know—“
“you could’ve died.”
you notice the strain in his voice, so you turn to finally look eyes with him. he looks pained, so hurt, maybe even terrified at the fact that there was a chance that he could’ve lost you.
your expression immediately becomes that of sympathy, “but I didn’t, and dwelling on the fact that I might’ve died will only bother you for no reason,” you hold his hand, “I am here and alive, aren’t I?”
your husband sighs, resting his head on your right shoulder, “you’re hurting my poor little heart whenever you put yourself in danger like that.”
a giggle escapes your lips, and your hands naturally find their way in his hair, fingers gently carding through, “whatever shall we do.”
“if things went my way then you would just stay home looking all pretty like you always do,” he states, and you roll your eyes.
“well, they’re going my way tonight, so—“ the clock strikes twelve, “happy birthday, silly boy.”
his eyes widen and he pulls away to look you in the face. he blinks dumbly then looks at what’s in your hands: a cupcake with a candle.
a wide grin of unbridled joy appears on your husband’s face. his eyes shimmer in the moonlight as he laughs, “I really didn’t expect it this time!”
“you outdid yourself, pretty girl,” he hums, hand caressing your cheek.
“I still have a lot more things for you,” you beam with pride. satoru can’t contain himself anymore, and he pulls you into a loving embrace.
“I love you so much,” he murmurs beside your ear, pressing a light kiss to the side of your neck.
you pat his back, “I love you too, ‘toru,” you laugh, “but you’re pressing on my wound, and I think I am just going to cry and not because of overwhelming love.”
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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minhosimthings · 2 months
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Sample Session || 18+
Synopsis: In which you ask your boyfriend for a semen sample
Pairings: Sunghoon × fem!reader, non idol au
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v sex, rough sex, overstimulation, unprotected sex (not for you at all) masturbation (male), spit as lubricant, praise, degradation, swearing, rough dom Sunghoon, sub!reader, reader wears pink lingerie, boob fixation, dirty talk eyyy, collecting semen in that tube because we medical students, mentions of Yunjin from Le Sserafim and Gaeul from IVE
A/N: this is my submission for @deluluriddhi's 500+ followers event which you can find here! Had a shit ton of fun writing this though so here you go babies!
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Being a doctor has its advantages.
You get to help people, you get a shit ton of money (student debt sucks but hey), you get a hot boyfriend, you can correctly pronounce and know the meaning of choledocholithiasis.
Did I mention hot boyfriend?
Park Sunghoon. Possibly the hottest and the only surgeon-in-training you'd ever want to have inside of you all day long.
Of course the walls still speak of the times he railed you in the room where they kept the crp training dolls, but we don't speak about that anymore.
But one of the greatest advantages of having a Park Sunghoon, as you soon found out, was that he proved useful in a quest.
For a particularly awkward thing.
"Sperm samples?" Yunjin gasped, almost spilling her coffee on you, "we have to collect sperm samples?"
"For the last time, yes." Gaeul groaned, massaging her temples, Yunjin had been asking the same thing since the past hour.
"How on earth are we going to get semen samples?" Yunjin asked, turning to you for some reason.
"Alright ladies, time to seduce some men." Gaeul laughed, sipping her frappuccino.
"Y/N already seduced one." Yunjin groaned, deflating her body onto the table, "Hey, get some for us too will you?"
"Number 1, we need to have different samples, and number two how the hell am I gonna ask him?" You quizzed the girls, who looked dumbfounded.
"Maybe..you know." Yunjin began, and you realised she had the same face on as she did whenever she saw the extremely phallic design of the law building at your college, "Just do the oogey-boogey with him."
Gaeul's frappucino can spit out her nose, as she cackled loudly, garnering the attention of many people in the cafe.
"The oogey-boogey YUNJIN WHAT?" Gauel kept laughing, holding her stomach tightly, "Is that your way of saying that Y/N needs to seduce Sunghoon into somehow giving her his semen?" She said, when her laughter died down.
"Absolutely not!" You protested. The idea of seducing your boyfriend was...nice to think of but to actually have a practical session? You would have rather jumped off a cliff.
"Just ask him today, we have a holiday tomorrow, so incase the oogey-boogey indeed does oogey-boogey you have semen! Simple."
Gaeul's frappucino was subjected to being ejected out of her nose again, as she rolled over in fits of laughter.
This wasn't you.
This definetly wasn't you, Sunghoon thought.
His mind was racing at a hundred kilometres per the second, and his bag full of pastries for you was abandoned on the floor as soon as he saw what lay in front of him.
A reward for his hard work today? The thought of what he had done to deserve you was running a lap through his brain. You, in your pretty pink lace, with white trimmings, and pearls on your neck, the ones he bought you of course.
"Well hello there, gorgeous." He said, grabbing your waist in his arms, as he always did when he got back home. But this time, with a different purpose.
"All dressed up for me today?" He quizzed you, placing a kiss at the nape of your neck. It was pathetic how much the simple action made your hole so wet.
Sunghoon toyed with the pretty pink lace of your bra, kissing up and down your collarbone. God had you changed your perfume? It seemed so intoxicating to him. Your hands came to rest on his shoulder, as you nibbled the tip of his ear a bit, which made his dick throb inside his pants.
"Come on." He mumbled through his kisses, lifting you into his arms, making you wrap your legs around his waist, which you did promptly.
The one thing that Sunghoon would have never expected was the various medical equipment that lay on your bed.
"Y/N." He glanced at you suspiciously, putting you down on your feet, "what's all this?"
You awkwardly cleared your throat and rushed over to the bed, picking up a tiny test tube and shoving it in your boyfriend's hands.
"Alright so I have an assignment and I need your help." You said, a bit more seriously than you had wanted to.
"Do you need me to get you pregnant or something?" Sunghoon chuckled, his eyes darkening, "Cause I won't say no."
"Actually it's not that."
"Then what is it, princess?"
"Canihaveyoursemensampleplease." You mumbled, or more properly, to say, rapped.
"Y/N, proper sentences please?"
Sighing heavily to yourself, you gulped and wrapped your arms around Sunghoon again, pressing a chaste, sweet kiss to his pink lips.
"I need a semen sample for an assignment." You mumbled into his ear, albeit a but louder this time. Sunghoon smirked into your neck.
"That's it?" He asked, a cocky smile spreading on his face. His baby, needs a sample from him? He thought it was the most adorable thing ever.
"Yeah...it's fine if you say no though!" You panicked, looking at him with widened eyes. But Sunghoon only chuckled again and raised your chin to his level with his finger.
"How could I say no when you're asking so nicely?" He said, guiding you over to the bed. Kicking off his shoes, Sunghoon settled in nicely between the sheets, while you awkwardly sat at the edge, handing the tube to him.
"Don't want to join me baby?" Sunghoon asked, taking off his belt and his trousers, and pulling you in for a sudden kiss, by grabbing your face with his hands.
"You're a medical student too Hoon, you know I can't." You rolled your eyes at him.
"Alright, but do me a favour. Hold the tube in place for me will you?" He handed the tube back to you, and you bit your lip. Holding it in place. In other words, bending over to make Hoon see your cleavage.
"If that's what'll get you off, then fine." You grumbled, although your panties were getting wetter by the second at the idea.
Sunghoon leaned against the bedframe, relaxing into the sheets, holding his throbbing cock with one hand. He began to jerk off hard, his hand rising to the tip of the cock, where more fat drops of precum accumulate, feeling the alcohol of your perfume take over the body,
"that what you want, princess?” he spits on his cock and starts jerking off again while he speaks his hand doesn't stop, slow movements, up and down as if he wanted to feel the familiar sensation of your walls clenched around him. He could feel a knot forming in his stomach, at the sight of seeing your tits, lined perfectly in your lingerie. The sight of it made him go mental.
His hand never abandons his cock, squeezing, going up and down without losing rhythm. Sunghoon began to feel signs of orgasm so he reduced the speed of his hand, waiting for what will come next.
Sunghoon thinks while squeezing his cock tightly, holding by the base his fingers massage the balls, he climbs his hand slowly and passes his thumb over the head of the cock dripping precum, spreading and with his eyes glazed, little moans escaping his lips. Sunghoon sits more centered on the bed, drops of sweat run down his hair, dripping and turning a trail around his neck, chest and belly, his body is so sensitive to touch that the drops of water seem to scratch while the sheets seem to hug him.
"Fuck—im close." He whimpered, eyes rolling back as the knot in his stomach broke and the next moment, his hand was drenched in cum, and you were holding a test tube filled with what you needed.
"Shit" Sunghoon fell back on the bed, while you happily inserted the semen into your carrier so that it stayed safe. You crawled promptly into the bed with him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you so much Hoonie, I had no idea how I was going to get the-"
"What about my payment princess?" Sunghoon's whispered growl in your ear left you crumbling.
His touch left your skin burning in desire for more and before you could even catch a breath his hands grabbed your legs and you find yourself wrapped around his waist. Your hair was soft between his fingers and as he gently pulled it, you let out a little groan. 
"Hoonie–" you whimpered, feeling a blush creep up to your cheeks.
He loved seeing you like that, confused, embarrassed, submissive, and highly aroused. Holding your gaze for another moment, he rubbed his hand over your wet folds, gathering your slick on his palm. When he finally bent a finger and slipped it between your lower lips, he watched you closely, and as a soft squelching sound rang in his ears, he saw you writhing in discomfort, frowning slightly, but it made him smile at you, and your embarrassment was quickly forgotten.
Holding your waist firmly, Sunghoon flipped you over onto the bed with a rough thump, making you moan at the very sensation of his biceps touching your body.
"So wet for me already?" Sunghoon chuckled, removing your panties slowly, "You're so adorable."
"Shut up." You groaned, feeling embarrased again, "Hoonie, we ran out of condoms, maybe we should-"
"You're on birth control right?" Sunghoon pressed a kiss to your neck, making you mewl when his tip slightly touched your pussy, "You're not leaving this bed until the sheets are either drenched or until you've fainted."
His voice was rough as he lined himself up with your entrance as you panted in anticipation, fingers digging into his back when he finally entered you, moaning deeply at the feeling of your walls starting to clench around him.
The stretch when he enters you burns gloriously, your mouth falling open in a perfect, round ‘O’ of ecstasy. Sunghoon fills you slowly, burying himself to the hilt, so deep that you can practically feel him rearranging your insides.
“That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.” he praises.
Discomposed, his voice thickens, rounding the vowels and blurring the ends of his words. Sunghoon rocks his hips one shallow thrust striking a spot inside you that has your vision whiting out, ecstasy buzzing in your heavy limbs.
“That felt good, huh? Yeah. I know, I know,” he soothes, swallowing your whines with wet, deliberate kisses, tongue sweeping every corner of your mouth and teeth grazing your lips.
Your noises grew louder, as did the wet squelching sounds as your pussy fluttered around him, muscles clenching, a burning warmth gathering inside you. You sank your nails into the old wood, holding on for dear life as his pelvis smacked against your cushioned ass in quick succession.
 “Can’t you handle it, baby?” Sunghoon looked at you with pity, "Is it too much for your pathetic pussy?"
“I can-fuck, I can—handle it.” you whimpered. You clearly, could not handle it.
His own grunts filled your ears, adding to the tension building up in your belly, those deep vibrations pushing you right over the edge.
"Hoon-I—ah FUCK!"
You cried out when your walls clamped around him, that tight coil within exploding into a thousand tiny lights that made your entire body convulse against him. He felt your orgasmic contractions, and despite the soreness in his leg, he kept fucking you through your release, your juices helping in easing your tight passage, but he still strained to keep his rhythm. His fingers dug into your soft skin, and he felt a bead of sweat running along his temple.
That unlocked something inside of him. While he still held you, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach, he slammed into you, forcing your small body to jerk in his arms with each thrust. He grunted and moaned, nearly panting, as he crammed himself inside of you.
It doesn’t take long for your next orgasm to build up, releasing it with a silent cry as you unintentionally dig your fingers into Sunghoon's back causing him to groan in your ear in pleasure. He keeps his thrusts consistent as you begin to leak around his cock and onto the blanket beneath you. There’s no doubt you’ll have to change the bedding later. 
All you could do was bury your head in his chest until with one more thrust, he pushed into you, unloading pump after pump of cum. Afterwards, he slumped down, slowly dragging his cock out of your stuffed cunt, leaving you empty and internally screaming at the intoxication of the burn.
"Shit-" Sunghoon plopped down on the bed, next to you. Both of your chests rose and fell in unison, as you managed to steeply catch your breath.
A moment of calm silence arose before-
"Does your professor need any more sampler or...?" Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.
"Nope, just the one." You chuckled at his unseriousness as he pulled you in for cuddles.
"You're changing the sheets this time Hoon."
"Damn it."
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Bonus
"So you did the oogey-boogey with him?"
"Yunjin!"
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ceilidho · 7 months
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prompt: it's been a month since you managed to run away from them. your luck had to run out eventually. tags: noncon, darkfic, ghoap x reader, previous kidnapping implied, stalking and hunting down reader. i am begging you to read the tags before reading this, thanks. 4.4k
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You pay for the motel room in cash. Always cash. Never a paper trail if you can help it. Nothing that could ever tip anyone off if you didn’t want them to be tipped off.
You haven’t been on the run for long. Maybe a month, tops—but after the first week, the days and nights have begun to blend together like watercolours. You don’t do much during the day apart from sit in your room and wait for the night to come. Sometimes you venture out if you’re low on food or if the itch under your skin grows severe enough that you know you need to buy a fresh set of clothes and dump the ones you came into town with. 
Freshly dyed and cut hair. Jackets two sizes too big to make you seem larger than you are from the back. You’ll never be able to change the face god gave you, but you make an effort to obscure it when you can—surgical masks on public transit, heavy sunglasses even indoors, a deep mauve lipstick (purchased, again, in cash at the local pharmacy) to make you seem, from a distance, like someone else. Anyone else.
Sometimes remembering that it’s been a whole month since you escaped, since you got out, leaves you winded. You have to hold onto the wall in your pay-by-the-night, ratty, hole-in-the-wall motel room to keep from toppling over. A month without spotting one of them in pursuit of you feels next to impossible. Almost impossible. You still don’t let yourself think that you’ve fully given them the slip, that you’ve gotten the better of them. There is no getting the better of them. There is no outmanoeuvring the two men that—you’ve learned through painful trial and error—do not let up when there is still the trace of a scent.
And everything leaves a scent. Even you.
You sleep in the bathtub instead of the bed for fear of bedlice; these days, your neck has an ever-present kink that needs to be worked out. It’s bound to get worse though. It’s not like you can stop in this town now and call it home, not when you can feel them hot on your heels. 
You change in gas station bathrooms when you run. You’re learning a kind of awareness of cameras and eyes that you never would’ve developed before. You do not smile at cashiers. Your face becomes blank, unrecognisable. The goal is always that you fade into obscurity the second you step out of the shop, so that no one could ever identify you to the two terrifying men haunting your shadow. Even if they wanted to. 
Paranoid isn’t the half of it. When you hear a car pull up outside your motel room door, your body drops a whole degree and sweats like a night terror has found you in the waking world. You only relax when you hear a door four rooms down slam shut. Then you shake so hard that you swear you can hear your bones rattle.
This isn’t a life. It’s life like the promise of a tomorrow is the only thing getting you through today. 
You get on buses with no idea where you’ll be getting off. Pattern disrupter. In the months that you lived with them, you learned something. If your movements are scattered, they become unpredictable—harder to track down. You force them to stay behind while you skitter off, forcing them to review video footage, question people, even sift through garbage and recycling bins for any sign that you’d been there. 
It doesn’t make you any less nervous. You know they’re like hunting dogs. You’d love to believe that you’ve tried their patience enough for them to abandon the chase, but thinking like that gets you caught. Complacency will get you caught faster than anything.
The money folded and sealed in an envelope in your bag is dwindling though. Even for as frugal as you’ve been, food costs money—clothes cost money. Boxes of hair dye and bus tickets cost money. And you can’t stay anywhere long enough to hold down a job to recuperate what you’ve lost.
It feels hopeless. You trudge back to your motel room after grabbing a bite to eat at the pub down the road and feel like maybe this is purgatory. Maybe you died a long time ago, long before you got away from them, and this long path you’ve been burning across the country is just the long descent into the underworld. You let out a sigh, squeezing your eyes shut for a second by the door before unlocking it to go inside for the night.
You trip over something. It catches you so off guard that you almost break your nose on the carpeted floor, arms almost not swinging out in time to catch you. 
“Whoops. Sorry, kitty—took a lil’ tumble there, huh?” a familiar burr says from somewhere behind you by the door. “Gotta watch where you step.” He chuckles a bit under his breath, pulling back the leg he’d stuck out to trip you. 
Your body goes ice cold on the floor. The door clicks shut behind you; the deadbolt sliding into place is deafening in the silence. The thick knot in your belly expands until you think you might throw up. The only nonsensical thing you can think is that you hope the motel manager won’t be upset that you’ve ruined the carpet. 
You hear the muffled sound of knees hitting the floor and then a hand tangles in your hair, wrenching your head back. “Oh Jesus, look at the state of her, Lt.”
“Looks like she’s seen a ghost.”
The second voice is rough, like logs rolling over water, clattering into each other. It comes from the other end of the room, way into the darkness. They didn’t bother to turn the lights on, perhaps in an effort to make sure your guard was down. Fear grips the inside of your chest. Behind you, Johnny holds your head up high enough that you’re forced to stare at the patch of darkness from which Ghost materialises when he flicks on the bedside lamp. 
On the surface, he sounds almost amused, but as long as it’s been, you’re still attuned to the undercurrent of anger in his voice. His patience has been tried over weeks of chasing after you. He almost looks like he’s put on mass since you last saw him over a month ago, but that could just be the perspective of looking up at him from the floor. His face is still covered in the same half skull mask as always, exposing the shaved blond hair on his head. His eyes are narrowed though, terrifyingly mad.
“Poor baby,” Johnny murmurs, nuzzling into the back of your head. He props himself over you, not leaning his whole weight down onto your prone body, but trying to get as close as possible to you while still forcing you to stare up at Ghost. “Did we give ye a wee fright? Is that why ye ran off? I missed ye so, so bad, baby.”
“She ran off because she’s been spoiled,” Ghost snaps. He sits on the edge of the bed and it creaks under his weight when he shifts a little closer to the edge, leaning closer to where you’re lying on the floor. 
“I ken, I ken, Lt,” Johnny sighs, plastering sloppy, wet kisses into the side of your neck, fitting his mouth briefly into the crook of it, into the meat of your shoulder. “Cannae help myself, she’s just so—ah, kitty, am really sorry but you’ve really pissed Simon off.”
“No—no, please—” you gasp, breath splintered into short hitches. “H-how’d you—how’d you e-even find—”
Johnny shakes you by the hair, a bit rougher than usual. Anger finally leaking out like a drip from a loose spigot. You yip at the pain. “Of course we were gonna find you—Lt, ye hearing this? She thought she could outsmart us.”
“Pet’s don’t know any better,” Ghost says dismissively. It makes you feel queasy to hear him say that like you’re not even in the room. “Needs a lesson in not making us run halfway across the country after her. Get her on the bed, pup.”
“No, no, get OFF—” you try to yell, then gag when Johnny shoves two fingers into your mouth, pushing them almost to the back of your throat. 
When the urge to choke abates, you close your teeth over his fingers, flirting with the idea of just biting all the way down and taking them off. Only the fact that you’ve never done something like that before keeps you from instinctually biting through. Johnny laughs breathlessly when he feels your teeth flirt over his fingers though.
“Bite down,” Johnny dares you, voice quivering with smugness and rage. “Bite down ‘n see what happens to ye. Have nae gotten my cock wet in a fuckin’ month because you’ve been gone and Simon—”
“Quit talking to the pet like she understands,” Ghost snaps, finally standing up, towering over the two of you. You can’t help staring at his mud covered boots still rooted in front of your face. “On the bed. Now.”
You howl when Johnny takes his fingers out of your mouth and wrenches you to your feet, struggling when he coos and frogmarches you to the bed. No matter how hard you struggle though, you can’t break the way he has your arms twisted behind your back. It’s a short walk too, only a few steps, and then Johnny shoves you roughly onto the bed, clambering over you again. His hand forces your face into the mattress, not paying any mind to the way you grunt because your nose bends uncomfortably against it. 
“Always fuckin’ whining,” Johnny growls into your ear, fully pissed off now. His anger is electric, rippling down the length of you. “On and on and on—’n I’ve been so fuckin’ good to ye. Have nae even been a little mean. Being a fuckin’ brat to me and leavin’ me and makin’ us hunt ye down like dogs.” 
You can hear that he’s working himself up to a fever pitch, growing angrier and angrier. It terrifies you to think that you’re trapped under him, nowhere to go. Somehow, it’s a mercy when the bed dips again under Ghost’s weight and he pulls Johnny back by the shoulder, giving his cheek a little tap when Johnny growls and tries to bend back down. 
“You have all the time in the world with her, pup,” Ghost says, giving Johnny a rougher shove. “Get undressed. Can’t fuck her in your civvies.” 
“Yeah…yeah, yer right,” Johnny mumbles to himself, getting off you. 
Your head automatically twists over your shoulder, eyes following him. It’s easy to see in the spare seconds you get before you try to make a break for it again that he looks haggard, beard grown out a bit more than usual. Ghost usually makes him keep it short and tight, but apparently weeks on the road have tempered that military expectation a bit. 
His eyes are wild, electric blue, hardly blinking for how hard he stares at you. You tell yourself that you haven’t, on some small level, missed his pretty face. His arms bulge around the tight shirt that he easily strips off, pulling it off one handed from the back of his neck.
You hear him kick off his boots somewhere in the distance, but when you try to scramble off the bed, Ghost tips you over onto your bed and presses you down with a firm hand on your shoulder. He’s a bit less dressed now—hoodie pulled off and boots and jeans piled on the floor somewhere. Mask off. Familiar scars cut across his face—old burn marks and white spidery lines of fresh skin. Rougher than Johnny, not a pretty man; maybe without the layers of scarring he’d be a proper masculine kind of handsome, but with them, he only seems dangerous. Someone to avoid. 
He doesn’t say anything when he stares down at you. He says enough like that. He looks over his shoulder, away from you. “Johnny?”
“Lt?” Johnny’s at attention now, stripped naked and eager. When you glance down, his cock is already flushed and hard, excitement making him almost vibrate.
“Help me get her naked and then you’ll get her mouth, alright?”
You’re already struggling before the words come out of his mouth, frantically trying to push Ghost off you and opening your mouth to scream—the piercing shrill of it bleats out of you for half a second—before a big hand wraps around your neck and Ghost turns back to you. It shuts you up in a heartbeat. Not once in the months you were with them has Ghost looked half as terrifying; you’ve had a belt taken to your ass until the blood pooling under the skin almost burned, you’ve been manhandled and roughly positioned and been bent into shapes that your body could only just accommodate, but you’ve never, until now, actually worried for your safety somehow. 
“You scream—” he starts, moving his hand up just a little to grab you by the jaw and twist your head to make you stare at the bedside table, where a glock lays flat under the glow of the lamp, “—and I shoot anyone that comes through that fuckin’ door. We clear?”
You nod once. Sweat pouring out of every other gland, but the saliva running dry in your mouth. You lick your lips and swallow, hummingbird heart going wild in your chest. 
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Johnny mumbles, coming up behind Ghost to wrap his arms around him as best he can, planting a row of kisses into his shaved head. “Missed it so bad, I need ta—need ta—”
“Her clothes, Johnny. Take ‘em off.”
You only put up a little fight when Ghost works on unzipping and pulling down your jeans. It feels hopeless to try. Johnny almost tears your shirt in two to get it off, only being a bit gentler when you yelp. He can’t help groping at your chest when the shirt is pulled off you and tossed somewhere else in the room, big hands fitting over your breasts and plucking your nipples, twisting them like you’re just a toy for Johnny to play with. He slithers down onto his belly for a second to pop a nipple into his mouth, switching between kissing and sucking at the beaded nub like he can’t tell what he missed more.
Your panties get ripped clean in two. The sob comes out of your chest unbidden, tears finally spilling out. Ghost’s patience seems finally at its end. His eyes are black even in the light, all pupil. Your legs try to close instinctively, but he slots himself between them so you can only clamp your legs around his waist, stuck staring at the way his hand reaches for his boxers only long enough to pull the elastic under his balls. His cock is so heavy with blood that it droops, the tip dewy. 
Your nipples gleam with spit when Johnny finally takes his mouth off them, sitting back on his haunches and spreading his legs. It’s all happening so fast—there isn’t a right place to look. Either the monstrous cock between your legs that already has you feeling twangs of phantom pain knowing that Ghost isn’t going to even bother stretching you on his fingers before fucking you, or the pretty cock that Johnny is already rubbing against your lips, painting with his precome. You flinch when you feel Ghost spit on your sex; he doesn’t try to rub it in.
“Simon” he pants, fingers tangling in your hair again to keep your head still when you try to turn away. “Simon, please, can I—I need ta come so bad. Please, please.”
You almost say something and then Ghost pushes his cock in to the hilt in one brutal plunge. Your mouth opens on a ragged gasp and Johnny keens, fingers clenching so hard in your hair that he almost tears it out by the roots. The tip of his cock stays flush against your lips, even split open on your gasp.
“Please, sir, please,” he begs, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Aching and desperate. Holding himself back only because he needs permission to put his cock anywhere in you, just like he did all those weeks ago back in their house out in the countryside. The one you thought you thought you’d escaped. 
Ghost chuckles, groaning at the feel of your tight cunt squeezing his cock. “Go ahead, boy. Give your cock a squeeze.”
That’s all it takes. Johnny pushes past your lips roughly, no finesse or gentleness at all. Maybe the capacity for it is gone after going without you for so long. You choke when the head of his cock hits the back of your throat, tears making your vision blur. Johnny preens and gushes over you, unable to stop babbling about how hot and tight your throat is, how much he missed it. 
“Oh shit, sir, she’s—” Johnny gasps, sinking into your mouth again and again, sweaty hand still clutching your hair. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.”
You feel close to the point of breaking, tight after a month on the lam, too tight for someone Ghost’s size to shove their cock into you without prep. You tell yourself that at least he bothered to spit on you, but lube would help a lot more. Too bad for you. His hands fit over your waist and hold tight, making sure you know that there’s nowhere for you to go. The first few thrusts are rough but slow enough to keep you from tearing—a small mercy, but probably not for your sake.
“I get—I get her pussy after, right, sir?” Johnny asks desperately.
“Dunno, Johnny,” Ghost muses, licking his lip. His thrusts get more brutish, faster; your teeth would be clacking together if Johnny’s cock wasn’t stuck halfway down your throat. “Gonna be a bit sloppy. Might not be tight enough for you after this.”
“S’okay, sir,” he whines, glancing back down at you. Fingers petting your cheek and tracing over your throat, trying to feel himself from the outside. “Jus’ need…oh fuck, please, it’s so good—oh Christ, missed it. I’ll take anythin’, sir, please.”
“Christ, alright, puppy. You can have a turn after. Been a good boy, huh?” 
You can only stare when Ghost lifts a hand from your waist to reel Johnny in by his mohawk, tugging him in for a wet kiss, still thrusting into your pussy all the while. Just a toy between them for their cocks while Ghost licks into Johnny’s mouth and mutters sweet nothings to him. Johnny moans into the kiss, sucking Ghost’s tongue when it’s offered to him and looking dazed, come-drunk. All fucked out and flushed, hips unconsciously pumping forward, just absently rutting. 
“Got our girl back, right?” Ghost murmurs, letting go of Johnny’s hair to smooth down his head and neck, making him preen. “Such a smart puppy.”
“Yeah, I’m good, sir.” He sounds out of his mind, slurring his words. Praise gets him like nothing else; it’s not easily given by Ghost, not handed out for nothing. “Did good…’m a good boy…”
The corners of your lips feel like they might crack. It’s hard to be careful with your teeth when you’re so overwhelmed, but luckily Johnny doesn’t mind it a bit rough. He hiccups when your teeth scrape over his cock a bit. He lips at Ghost’s mouth, dragging his tongue over the scar that bisects the corner of Ghost’s lips. When Ghost finally pulls away from Johnny’s mouth, a thin string of saliva pulls and then bends with the distance, finally snapping off and leaking onto your chest. 
Your flinch and squeak draws Ghost’s attention back down to you. 
You try to think of yourself looking down on the three of you instead of in it, but it’s hard. For as much as it seems like you’re just a toy between them, Ghost makes an effort to get you off, slipping a hand down to jiggle his thumb over your clit, rubbing it just the way you like. It’s sick how well he knows your body by now, how it takes almost nothing to push you to the edge of coming, core tight with the heat of it. 
“Gonna come?” Ghost taunts, scooping a hand under your ass to tilt your hips up, hitting a spot inside you that has you seeing stars, cunt flexing over his cock. You garble around Johnny’s cock as if to say something, but all it does is make Johnny groan and slump over you, holding himself upright with a hand on the mattress. His abs flex every time he fucks into your mouth. “Pussy this close to coming—you must’ve starved it. Good thing you didn’t let someone fuck you while we were looking. Woulda torn them apart.”
You can see the real threat in his eyes at that. There’s no way you would’ve, but the real danger of it crackles in the room. You feel like you’ll slip and touch the third rail if you so much as twitch under his glare. His jealousy at the thought makes him look like an angry god, chest heaving with every breath as he fucks you. 
“My baby wouldnae—” Johnny gasps, sinking his cock all the way into your throat and groaning at the squeeze, “—no, Si, she’s—ah, fuck me, ‘m gonna—fuck, fuck—Si, she wouldnae do that to us. No fuckin’ way.”
“She’d have a lot of making up to do then, huh?”
“She’s a good girl, sir, ‘promise. Oh, jus’ look at her,” Johnny gushes, sweat dripping down onto your face from how he’s curled over you. “So, so pretty. Maybe I dinnae take her…take her on enough walks.”
“Yeah…” You feel your skin crawl when Ghost stares down at you, not convinced. “Of course, pup.”
You know there’s no way he believes that. When they drag you home, you don’t think you’ll see the sunlight for weeks, never mind have Johnny take you on ‘walks’. Ghost’s smothering presence will take on a whole new meaning; he’ll snuff out the sun before he lets you walk in it alone ever again. 
Someone in the room adjacent to yours slams their fist into the wall a couple of times, jolting you out of your thoughts. The headboard must really be knocking against the wall. Ghost and Johnny ignore it though, Johnny so close to coming that he can hardly even form a sentence, solely focused on spearing between your lips. You can feel Ghost reaching his end too, fucking you with a single-minded intensity. Breath snorting out of his nose like a bull. The hair on his chest is matted with sweat, curls whorling around his nipples. 
You almost choke when Johnny comes down your throat without warning, hilting his cock until his balls brush your chin and his hand in your hair tightens painfully. He groans, drawn out and long, pained. It splashes against the back of your throat, almost familiar. You’ve done this before. You can do this without falling down a cliff and never climbing back up. 
He pulls his cock out before he’s finished, striping your face with come, twitching when he has to hold his cock from how sensitive it is. You instinctively close your eyes, grateful when you feel his come tag your eyelid. 
You hope it’s almost over, but Ghost hasn’t come yet and you know it’s going to get worse before it gets better. When Johnny pulls away to collapse onto his back on the bed, trying to catch his breath and dragging his hand over his stomach, Ghost hunches over you. He drags his tongue over your cheek, wet and nasty, and your brain almost switches off when you realise that he’s licking Johnny’s come off your cheek. 
“There we go,” he snarls, feeling you flex around him, the little tell-tale spasm of your approaching orgasm. “Atta girl—gonna come on my cock? A little wet sorry for running away?”
You try to say something, but your throat is raw, voice too hoarse for words. Even your lips feel puffy, swollen. Talking hurts. It doesn’t matter though, Ghost doesn’t wait for your response. He pumps into you like a machine, pulling his cock all the way out before pushing back in again. Your stomach cramps with the worry that he might miss and try pushing into the other hole.
You wish there was a way around it, but you can’t avoid it slamming into you, a white hot wave cresting over you. You come so hard it hurts, milking Ghost’s cock and pushing him over the edge too; he pants harsh, animalistic sounds into your throat, cutting himself off by sinking his teeth into the meat of your shoulder instead, making you howl. There’s no condom to keep his come from pumping into you; just a big, heavy man smelling of gunpowder and salt hovering over you, elbow propped on the mattress beside your head and making you go a bit crazy at the scent of him everywhere around you. 
He peels himself off of you after what feels like an hour, soft cock pulling out of you and making you clench down on nothing. You didn’t remember how much being empty can hurt. You try to roll away from him and onto your side, maybe squeeze yourself into a fetal position, but Ghost collapses down beside you and plants a hand on the centre of your chest, holding you in place. Never any respite. 
You croak a tired little, “Ow.” All it does is make Ghost snort softly.
Your body feels like one livid bruise in the aftermath, limbs loose at your sides. You couldn’t move even if you tried, even if you thought you could make a break for it. It would hardly be worth it. You let your eyes slide shut when Ghost runs a hand up and down your chest, a little comforting gesture. 
“Simon,” Johnny whines from beside you. Your brows scrunch, annoyed at his voice breaking the silence. “Please.”
You hear Ghost sigh. “Now?”
“Cannae wait—please.”
You wait to hear Johnny and Ghost get up. Maybe there’s something they have to do—maybe they drove to the motel and there’s still something in the car. 
A hand grabs you by the hip.
“Turn over, pet,” Ghost instructs, flipping you onto your stomach without waiting for you to acquiesce. “Promised Johnny a turn with your pussy before we leave.”
Your eyes go wide.
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